#i could listen to shayne talk for hours about this

[shaynetopps]

shayne topp | nothing new by taylor swift

had to make this edit after the newest smosh mouth episode came out. i loved hearing shayne talk about the very real struggle of not “making it” by the time you thought you would. shayne is for the nothing new girlies.

[hayleythesugarbowl]

I loved the angela giarratana x reader headcanons you did i hope it’s not too much for me to ask if you can do a full on story if you can’t that’s fine I understand if you need an ideal what about reader getting really close to someone from smosh and Angela miss reading it think reader liked them or something plz 😊😊😊😊

Misread Signs || Angela Giarratana x reader

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ masterlist • smosh masterlist ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧⋆

summary: oneshot where you start to become really close with courtney, and angela takes this as a sign that you aren’t interested in her, until unusual circumstances cause you both to realize each other’s feelings

word count: 2.2k

warnings: none

a/n: thank you so much for this request babe, i love angela so much and i was so happy to write for her!! hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy this <3🍓🎀

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“Hey, (Y/n)!” 

     Courtney greeted you as you fell into step beside her. You had been called to set earlier than, in your opinion, was natural for any human being to be awake. Courtney however was as bubbly as ever. You rubbed the sleep from your eyes, smiling at her enthusiasm. 

     “Hi, Court.” You had only been friends with Courtney for a few weeks, ever since you had moved from Smosh editor to cast member and she’d taken you under her wing, but it felt like you had known her for much longer. 

     You plopped down in the first chair you found, waiting for the rest of the cast to arrive. Courtney sat down next to you, pulling out her phone as you two began talking about what shoots were scheduled for the day, starting with TNTL. 

     A motion to your right caught your eye and you looked up.

     “Angela!” Courtney exclaimed.

     Angela set her bag down and looked over at you and Courtney, smiling, coffee in hand.

     “Hey guys, how are we today?” 

     Was it too much to hope that one of these times she would look only at you? Ask how you were doing? You let out a small sigh and Courtney gave you a sympathetic look. 

     It felt like ever since you started working at Smosh you had been chasing Angela’s attention. Hoping she would notice you. Finding excuses to talk to her. Striking up conversation with her in hopes that one day she would miraculously ask you out. She hadn’t. 

     Yet. 

     But you were starting to loose hope that you would ever become anything more than…acquaintances? You liked to think you’d started to become friends. That she liked you. But it had been hard to constantly see her act the same around everyone else as she did with you.

     And then when you became a member of the cast, you and Courtney had started to become close. She listened to you vent for hours about getting nowhere with Angela and you enjoyed her friendship. 

     Now, she grabbed your wrist, bringing you back to the present. 

     “(Y/n), you good?” She looked at you knowingly.

     You shook the wistful look off your face and said, “Yeah, I’m ok. It’s nothing new.”

     Your friend put a hand on your shoulder, “Hey, I don’t know. I still have faith in you two.” She gestured between you and Angela. “I mean you’re both gorgeous, so why hasn’t one of you asked the other one out?”

     You batted her hand away quickly, cringing at her obviousness but laughing despite yourself. 

      “See, there’s the (Y/n) I know and love,” she bumped her shoulder into yours gently.

     “Thanks Court,” you smiled at her. 

     Risking a glance at Angela, you saw she was now in the middle of a conversation with Shayne, laughing at one of his jokes—lucky bastard— and gesturing animatedly. As if she sensed you looking however, she glanced over at you and Courtney, a thoughtful expression appearing on her face before she smiled and turned back to Shayne and the few other people who had started to gather near them. 

     “Ooh, stolen glances!” Courtney sing-songed. 

     By then, most of the cast had now arrived and you heard someone shout, “Quiet on set,” and then, “could someone please grab the boxes labeled ‘new props’ from the storage room?’”

     “I’ll do it,” Angela called out enthusiastically, “Anyone want to come with?”

     Always offering to help. It was yet another one of the reasons you liked her so much.

     “(Y/n) will!” Courtney volunteered. You shot her a look and she gave you a mischievous one back.

     “Ok, great!” Angela said as you walked over towards her, simultaneously cursing and thanking Courtney in your head. 

      The silence was deafening. For all of about 12 seconds before Angela broke it, saying, “So, you ready for today? Early call time today, I know you hate mornings!”

      You nodded, but it caught you off guard that she would have remembered such a small detail about you. You figured you must have mentioned it at some point.

     “Ok, help me out. I’ve worked here for a year now and I still don’t know to get to the storage room.” She laughed and you laughed with her.

     “Down this hallway on the left,” you pointed ahead of you. You’d been working here a few months less than Angela but you felt like you pretty much knew your way around the place. You stopped in front of your destination and opened the door, stepping into a room full of bins of colorful props and costumes 

     “This reminds me,” Angela started, picking up a feather boa, “Hear me out, I have this idea for a bit.”

     She picked up the boa and draped it around her shoulders, grabbing a nurse’s hat and leaning dramatically against the door, pushing it shut. “A dental hygienist who should’ve been on broadway!”

     You laughed as she began singing off-key showtunes. 

     “Brava!”

     “Alright, we’d better get back,” she said, still keeping the boa on her shoulders. 

     You both grabbed a bin and you went to push the door open but it wouldn’t budge. You put the box you were holding down and jiggled the handle with more force.

     “Uh, Angela? We might have a problem,” you said.

     You both inspected the door, and when it was decided that you were in fact stuck, you sat down on a box and Angela followed. 

     “Ok, we can figure this out,” you said. “Do you have your phone?”

     She shook her head. “Left it in my bag. You?”

     “Left it with Courtney.”

     Angela nodded, but looked down. After a moment she said, with a hint of a smile on her face, “Well, that only leaves one option.” 

     She got up quickly and began banging her fist on the door, shouting. “Hey! Hello? Can anyone hear us? We’re kinda trapped in here!” 

     You joined her. After a few minutes though, you realized your efforts were fruitless and you both stopped, sitting back down again.

     “Well, seeing as we’re stuck in here for the foreseeable future,” Angela started, “wanna play a game or something?”

     “Sure.”

     “Alright, I spy, with my little eye, something blue,” she said.

     “The pool noodle?”

     “Dang it! That was supposed to take longer,” she threw the boa at you. You picked up the thing nearest to you—a stuffed frog—and threw it at her, draping her boa around your shoulders and posing dramatically as she had. It smelled like her, and your heart fluttered. 

     You enjoyed this, you couldn’t help but admit to yourself. You hadn’t actually talked to Angela in weeks. It was nice to have an excuse to spend time with her. Even if it was a bit awkward, and you were sweating, and locked in a storage closet for who knows how long. You looked at her and tried not to stare at her eyes, and how the lighting in the room made them sparkle. 

     An awkward silence descended, and you began pulling feathers off of the boa to pass the time. The seconds ticked by.

     “Ok, it’s been like 10 minutes now. They cannot start tntl without us because then who’ll see my broadway dentist bit?” Angela stood up.

     “Well, I saw it, and I loved it, for what it’s worth. And I’m sure someone will come looking for us soon. Courtney has my phone and my coffee so she’ll realize when she sees them, right?”

     Angela sat back down and you began inspecting your shoes.

    “So, you and Court, huh?” You looked up and found Angela watching you intently, waiting for an answer. She began pulling at a loose thread on her sweatshirt. 

     “What?”

     “I just, figured you two were a thing. I mean you spend so much time together and it just seemed like…” 

     Again, what? You blinked. “Um, no, Courtney and I are friends but—”

     “Oh, sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed,” she interrupted, “I just—you guys seem really close.”

     “No, it’s ok,” you assured her, “I’m just a single pringle.” You internally slapped yourself. Why, why were you like this?

     “Same!” She gave you a high five. You internally groaned. Why, why was she like this? 

     “So,” she continued, “got your eye on somebody else then?”

     “Oh, I don’t know l—” you started.

     “C’mon,” she nudged your shoe with hers, “we never catch up anymore!”

     Because we’re both busy. Because we  didn’t make an effort. Because I didn’t think you felt the same way about me as I felt about you.

     Instead, you just sighed. You did not want to have this conversation with her, especially when you didn’t exactly want to tell her the answer. But the opportunity to talk with her was too inviting. This was what you wanted, wasn’t it?

     “There might be…someone?” You didn’t want to give her any more information than that. You couldn’t.

     “I knew it!” She shrieked. “So, who are they?”

     “Well, they’re beautiful and talented and funny…”

     “Sounds like a real catch!”

     Yes, you do. “Well, what about you?” You asked, “Doesn’t seem fair that you’re the only one asking the questions,” you smiled.

      She raised up her arms in defeat, “Ok, caught me! There is someone.” 

      Great, You thought. Just my luck. 

     “Well, anyone would be lucky to be with you,” you told her.

     “Thanks, I appreciate it,” Angela answered you, “you’re not too bad yourself.”

     She leaned in for a hug, and you hugged her back, savoring this moment—even if she was telling you about someone else that she had feelings for. 

     Suddenly, the door to the storage room opened and a worried Courtney, followed by Shayne appeared.

     “Angela, (Y/n), you’re here!” Courtney said.

     “Yeah, we sort of got locked in,” Angela answered her.

     “We were getting worried—and waiting on you,” Shayne teased, and then looked between the two of you, pulling back from your embrace. “Oh, good you finally told (Y/n) how you feel! See, told you it’d go well!”

     You narrowed your eyes at Shayne, “What?”

     The look of panic on Shayne’s face was nothing compared to that of Angela’s.

     You turned to her, “What’s he talking about?”

     Courtney jumped in, “Shayne and I should be getting back to set. We’ll see you there.” She looked at her friend pointedly.

     “Right,” Shayne ran a hand through his hair, “glad you guys are ok, we’ll just be—” he pointed in front of him towards the hallway and, picking up a box of props, left with Courtney.

     “I’m going to kill him,” Angela clenched her fist.

     “Well,” you prompted.

     “Right, um…” Angela paused. You had never seen her speechless before. She seemed at a loss for words and it shocked you to see her this way and not her usual outgoing, confident self.

     “So,” she continued, “what Shayne was referring to was, um, well I told him earlier that I—Ok, just gonna rip off the bandage… I may or may not have a teeny, tiny, crush on you.”

     You could hardly believe what you were hearing. Angela what? This whole time you had just assumed she didn’t return your feelings.

     “Say something?” She prompted

     “When?” Was all you managed.

     “A while…”

     You couldn’t breathe. Then something clicked. “And when you were talking about liking someone just a second ago…”

     “Bingo,” she gave you a wry smile, “you the whole time. Surprise!”

     “I don’t know what to say, I—”

     “It’s ok, I don’t expect—anything, I—well this isn’t exactly how I planned on having this conversation but,” she threw her hands up, “now you know!”

      “Angela I—” 

     “I was planning on asking you out sometime, I really was. But then I saw how close you were getting with Courtney and I thought—I don’t know.”

     “Courtney and I are nothing more than friends. She’s like a sister to me. In fact, most of our friendship was spent talking about you,” you admitted.

     Now it was Angela’s turn to be confused. “What?”

     You didn’t know what got into you then. Maybe it was the time you’d spent on the storage room. Or maybe it was knowing Angela liked you and seeing the way she was looking at you right now. But, one way or another, you figured now was a good a time as any.

     “I like you too…a lot, actually. I have ever since you started working here and I never told you because I never imagined you could feel the same way and I just think you’re so beautiful and talented and smart and—”

     You never got to finish that sentence because suddenly Angela was kissing you, and you were kissing her back. She put her arms around your back, pulling you close, and you put your hands in her hair. You almost forgot about where you were or that you were needed on set. Almost.              

     “Shouldn’t we get back?” you pulled away and lifted a thumb towards the door. “They’re probably waiting for us.”

     “They’ve waited this long for us, what’s another minute or two.” She joked. 

     She smiled and then she was kissing you again, more passionately this time. You let all of your other thoughts go, enjoying the moment. 

     And it was perfect. 

     Just you, and Angela, and a closet full of fake limbs, animal onesies, and giant hats with googly eyes. You felt like you’d been waiting for this moment for months. 

     And maybe, she had too. 

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ˋ°•*⁀➷ hope you enjoyed this!! let me know if you have any other smosh requests!! 🍒🪩

[smoshpvnk]

“how is it you always know what i need, huh?” is giving shaymien :’)

(this turned into coffeeshop shayne x visual merchandiser damien au) (prompt from here)

~

Initially, Shayne never understood the purpose of opening hours before the rest of the mall. It seemed like a waste of time, resources, and payroll. Business was slow in the early hours, their only customers were usually the elderly people who walked laps around the stores to get their steps in. The more openers he worked, though, he soon realized how early some of the retail workers got there.

It was free entertainment to hear the groups of employees come in, complaining about a recent shitty customer or bad judgment call that corporate made, open to his ears without the concern of the general public able to hear. He’d inadvertently learned a lot of buzzwords that way, the names of some of the higher ups at the stores he’d been going to since he was a teenager, and had a better understanding about how horrible the retail industry treats their employees.

The slower hours allowed him time in between to study his college textbooks and chat with frequent visitors, one of which he had become much more acquainted with.

Shayne could hear the telltale sound of the store gate creaking upwards, then a minute later closing back down, along with the jingling of keys.

“Shayney days and Mondays!” Damien greeted. The lanyard of his store’s badge repeatedly hit his stomach as he walked in.

“Good morning,” Shayne said in a yawn. Once his eyes fully opened back up, he could see Damien giggling, cursing his body for distracting him from the sweet sound.

He went over to the computer, pressing buttons to start a new order of drinks in the system.

“Who’s all here today?” Shayne asked.

Damien sat in a stool at the counter, rubbing his temples.

“Uhh, me, Keith, Amanda, Courtney, and…”

“Let me guess. TWB?”

Damien sighed heavily, nodding and looking up at Shayne.

“The Wicked Bitch of the West,” they both whispered in unison, trying to hide their laughter.

“You gotta talk to Ian about that, man,” Shayne said, putting in the orders from each employee he’d memorized. “Wait—Amanda likes whipped cream, right?”

“Oh, uh, yes,” Damien said, “And yeah, I know. Ironically, I’ve been working so much lately, but just haven’t had a chance to talk to him about TWB. And I really need to, next week he’s supposed to go over to the Central location to help them with their corporate visit. As if we need any of our employees taken away to prep for ours.”

Shayne nodded, having Damien check the screen to make any corrections to the drink orders. He hesitated before having Damien pay, tacking on a cookie to the order, then overriding the price of the treat to zero.

“Twenty one forty five,” Shayne said, that number ingrained into his mind, as it had become tradition for Damien to come in most mornings during the week.

Damien usually only had to do the 6AM shifts every couple months. Part of him dreaded it, but his passion for wanting to become a better manager and leader kept him going—the drive the man had despite all of his complaints was something else.

He started talking about his recent turmoil with his dreaded boss, the highest authority over the department he loved so much unfortunately was the source of most of his recent problems. Shayne listened and nodded, flipping through the collective bills Damien had handed over then sticking them in the cash drawer. He’d have to remember to make up the difference for the cookie later on.

“Like why the fuck would I lift an already heavy shelf and keep the boots on it? Is she fucking nuts?” Damien griped, watching Shayne work to prepare each coffee.

“That’s crazy,” Shayne answered, “but another great example to bring up to your store manager. Surely he can bring her into his office to talk about stuff like that. Do you think she was purposely trying to make you look incompetent to your coworkers?”

Damien paused.

“I never really thought of it like that…” he said quietly, “That makes sense, though. When you say it like that.”

“I think she probably knows better, but potentially doesn’t have the best intentions for you. Just something to think about,” Shayne said, “And, I’m sorry if that’s out of line. I know you came here to vent, not for me to go all Therapist Shayne on you.”

“Hey, I’ll take what I can get,” Damien chuckled, then thought for a moment. “Hey, do you wanna see what I’ve been working on today? We didn’t have, like, most of the things I needed, but I’m really proud of how the display turned out, do you wanna see pictures?”

Shayne nodded, then leaned over the counter to look over his phone.

“Wow. That looks great, man. I might have to go in and buy some of that,” Shayne joked, looking at the details Damien had described—the steamed pants on a mannequin, the tight folds of shirts on a table, the colors that he’d gracefully balanced on each fixture of the room.

“Thanks. I had to rush a bit this morning, but I’m happy how it turned out. I wish we didn’t have customers coming in soon, they’re just gonna fuck it up.”

Shayne placed each coffee in a holder, but left Damien’s cup and the cookie out, handing them directly to him.

“Is…this my order?” Damien asked, looking at Shayne confusedly. His words weren’t accusatory, instead laced with gentle concern as to help Shayne realize his mistake.

“No, I—“ Shayne stuttered, his face flushing with pink. “I mean, yes, it is, but I—I added the cookie. I bought you the cookie.”

Damien’s lips pursed for a moment.

“Oh,” he said, “You…you didn’t have to do that.”

Shayne shrugged.

“You sounded stressed. And those cookies are really good.”

As if he wasn’t expected back at work, Damien stayed frozen for a minute. Shayne was worried he had done something wrong.

“How is it you always know what I need, huh?” Damien asked. His eyes looked Shayne’s expression over, quickly following up with, “I appreciate it a lot, I mean. I just feel so…different, compared to my coworkers, but whenever I talk to you…you just…get me. And my unrealized need of a cookie, apparently.”

Shayne prevented himself from shrugging again, recognizing the need to maintain the sincerity of the moment, but he was silent. The add on of the cookie was meant to be just a simple, friendly gesture, but…maybe it could mean more.

It did mean more. And Shayne was okay with that.

[carlyyyyxbishhop]

Love me like I haven't changed // Shayne Topp // 3

Shayne's perspective because... why not?

three // Shayne

I was reluctant to go back the next week for a multitude of reasons. The first being that I didn’t actually think she’d be back and that I’d turn up and be alone at the beach. But I had prepared myself for this, this was something I was doing for myself not just to talk to a girl I had just met.

The second reason was that I was scared, and I wasn’t sure what of. It wasn’t that I was scared to talk to Kate again, even though I’d made a massive fool of myself on the beach last Saturday. I was scared that this would actually lead somewhere. I’d spent so long getting over my ex, so many hours in therapy talking over my insecurities and readying me for this exact moment. What if it actually happened, what if I met my next heartbreak?

And yet here I stood, at the top of the stairs where I had met the woman a week prior. I had been overthinking this moment all week, tossing up whether or not it was worth coming back. But here I was, there was no going back now.

I made my way down the concrete stairs toward the water, stopping about halfway. I looked back and forth along the shore and felt my stomach drop when the thought re-entered my mind. What if she doesn’t come this week? 

I swallowed my pride and sat down on the cool sand. It was significantly less windy this Saturday morning and there were actually people walking about. This brought me a strange sense of security.

I’m just a man enjoying his day off at the beach.

I was lost in my own mind, my thoughts going a million miles an hour, until a bag dropped down next to me.

“Hey,” She smiled down at me, shielding her eyes from the sun above us.

“Hey,” I replied, trying to shake the nerves that were slowly overtaking.

“I didn’t actually think you’d come,” She laughed. Oh god did she not want me here?

“I’m not one to break a promise,” I tried to play it cool.

“Hmmm, that I see,” She began,” Well… are you ready to have the life changing experience of swimming at the beach in winter?” She smiled which made me smile even wider. She didn’t wait for my response, pulling the same grey jumper over her head.

“Well?” She asked with a small smile. I realised that I had just been watching her undress… my cheeks couldn’t get any redder.

“Uhh,” I cleared my throat, ”Um, yeah. Sorry.” I stood with that and pulled my shirt over my head, dumping it on the ground beside me. I looked back at her, keeping my eyes on her face so I didn’t come across as the creep I had before.

“Okay, when I was younger I used to watch this TV show from, like, Australia. I don’t know why, don’t ask. But anyway, they were mermaids and they used to run into the ocean and dive in and it was magical,” I listened to her rambling, nodding as I did so.

“I think I’ve seen the show intro on the internet somewhere.”

“Perfect, so you understand the assignment,” She nodded her head in agreement.

“3… 2… 1… go!” And she was off, running towards the ocean. I was taken aback for a second, before following her with a laugh. I could hear her laughing ahead of me before she took heavy steps as she entered the water. Then she dove under. I followed her lead, I mean, how could I not?

It was quiet as I dove under the wave, until I came back up to the sound of her laughing hysterically. I laughed back.

“What’s so funny?” I asked, covering my mouth to try to hide just how much this girl could make me laugh.

“You just reenacted a TV show intro from the early 2000s with some random girl you met last week,” She spoke through her laugh. I watched as she began to swim out farther.

“I guess I did,” I said with a smile.

“Did it make you forget about how daunting diving into the freezing cold ocean was?” She stopped swimming and bobbed in the water facing me. 

“Yeah, I guess it did,” I laughed again. I watched as she dropped down under the water, only to come back up slicking her hair back behind her ears.

“Well Shayne, do you feel the cold right now?” She asked with a sly smile.

“Funny that, I don’t. I hope you haven’t been peeing this whole time to warm up the water around us,” After I said it, I raised my eyebrows waiting for a response. I don’t know what it was about her, but I felt comfortable enough in that moment to make such a stupid joke. 

She laughed and my heart skipped a beat.

“I drank a litre of water before I got here, just so you’d be warm during our swim,” She said through a laugh. I mirrored her smile.

“So without asking you the stereotypical questions one may ask when they meet someone new, how long have you lived in LA?” I changed the topic as we tread water. She smiled.

“Just over a month or so. I can tell you’ve been here a while,” She countered.

“Yeah, it’s been a good few years or so,” I looked back to her, but her focus was elsewhere. She was looking out at the horizon, watching the waves rise and fall ahead of us.

“Sometimes I wish I could just swim out into the ocean and keep going forever,” Her focus remained unwavered.

“I mean theoretically you could, but there’s a few factors that might stop you from swimming forever,” She looked over to me with a smile.

“Yeah I know… it’s just nice to think about sometimes,” I didn’t know what to counter that with. I didn’t expect her to open up the second time I met her, plus, I can’t predict what she’s going to say next.

“Well anyway, I have to get back. I have a work lunch for some dumbass guy at my office who got fired for screaming at a client over the phone,” I looked at her puzzled. What a strange way to change the conversation.

“That seems a bit harsh, maybe the client deserved it,” I rationalised as we slowly swam back to the shore.

“Well yeah, they did. But he also got caught trying to embezzle money from the guy so… I guess he needed to go,” I laughed slightly.

“Sorry, I probably shouldn’t laugh at some poor guy's misfortune,” I said as we reached the point where our feet touched the sand.

“No, laugh all you want. I called the guy a dumbass for a reason,” She smiled at me as we reached the dry sand. She reached for her pants as I reached for my shirt. I swung my shirt over my shoulder and picked up my phone and keys.

She finished tying her pants around her waist and began to tie her jumper around her shoulders, “So how did your first winter swim experience go?”

“Surprisingly well actually, it wasn’t nearly as daunting as I thought it would be.”

I watched as she picked up her bag and followed her lead as she headed toward the stairs.

“Well, this is a Saturday tradition. Rain, hail or shine you can find me here,” She looked over to me with a smile, “And you’re welcome anytime you’d like Shayne.”

I looked the other way as my cheeks flushed.

“I think I’ll be back,” I gained the slightest bit of confidence to look back over at her, she was already smiling at me.

“Great… well I’ll see you next week,” She flashed a finger-gun my way, “Sorry.. I don’t know why I just did that.” She laughed, I laughed in retaliation.

“See you then,” I pointed a finger-gun back at her with a small laugh.

With that we walked our separate ways, both hoping to see each other again.

[passionate-hedgehog]

Hooked (Damien Haas x Reader)

Damien and his producer girlfriend just wanted to update their fans on a SMOSHcast after he posted a picture to his instagram account indirectly outing them as a couple. So, why are Sarah and Shayne singled out at the end?

Damien Haas x OC

5020 words

ITALICS are flashbacks

AN: I wrote this in 5 hours so if it sucks, it’s because I rushed. I tried really hard not to delve into SMOSH fanfiction but fuck me, I’m here. and I hate it. I had to pee the entire time. I have zero clue how VIDCON or any fan convention works. It is what it is. Mythical are assholes kinda in this.

AN2: Find my first Ian Hecox fic here.

AN3: I’ve rewritten it to be a Damien x Reader

m.list

“Welcome to another SMOSHcast. I am Ian Hecox from SMOSH.” The host of the podcast looked into the camera put off to the side to record video. “We have a few guests today. Right next to me is producer Sarah Whittle…”

“Isss meee!” The producer proclaimed in her cute tone. “I’m Sarah Whittle from SMOSH.”

The host continued, “And next to her is Shayne Topp, actor extraordinaire.”

“Heeeeyyyy. I’m Shayne.” The actor whispered weirdly into the mic.

As the group at the table giggled and/or rolled their eyes, Ian did the next introduction. “And then we have our video game professionalist: Damien Haas.”

“Aw, that’s sweet, man. Thank you.” Damien replied to the host and then looked into the camera. “Yes, I am Damian Haas, an actor from SMOSH. Disclaimer: we ALL play video games. Don’t let them fool you, listeners.”

“Mmmm...not quite.” The final guest commented from the left side of Damian. “Unless you count merge games on the phone. Not that you haven’t tried to hook me into them.”

“Oh, yeah.” Shayne piped in. “Y/n, you’re not a fan of video games.”

 Damien and Y/n were sitting on his couch with controllers in their hands and cats by their legs. Damien was working on loading Smash Bros onto the tv while Y/n scratched behind Zelda’s ears.

“I know our thing is you watching me play, but I think you might really like this one. I promise.” Damien tapped at his buttons to work through the settings.

“When I gave you that business card back at VIDCON that said ‘I’d love to watch you play games sometime,’ I meant it. YOU play. YOU.” She pouted.

He shrugged as if it was out of his hands. “It’s already been decided.”

“Do we gotta, though? Like, I’m totally content watching you play and using my hands for more important things...like loving on the felines. So important.

”“Super important.” Damien nodded in agreement.

“Super important.” Y/n repeated, feeling as if she won.

“Too bad.” Damien looked back at the screen. “What character do you want to play as?”

Y/n groaned in despair and threw her body backward against the cushions. “Fuck me.”

Damien looked at her with raised eyebrows. “What’s up?”

The look on Y/n’s face told him not to push it.

 Damien turned his head to the new producer. “You just can’t be hooked.”

Ian chuckled. “Well, I think we’ve proved that you can, as a matter of fact, be hooked.”

She looked at the host with a playful glare. “You really ready for this conversation?” 

It was Y/n’s first VidCon and, honestly, still her first month at Mythical. Her job was to engage the attendees that walked past the Mythical booth in conversation. She was meant to talk about things pertaining to the people and things in the videos. She was still fresh at her production assistant role and didn’t know much about Mythical’s behind the scenes things quite yet. She’d had a few people stop by, and she was able to amp up the hype for the projects she knew were coming up. That was a thing she could do, and she did it well. She loved Mythical so far.

When a small group of people around her age started walking towards her booth while laughing and what looked to be recording, she started to feel a little shy. She was an extrovert, which helped with what she was supposed to be doing. But there hasn’t been an actual group of people to approach her. The closer they got, the more nervous she got. She ended up deciding to take the L and make herself look busy in hopes that they’d just keep walking. It worked in the end, but she felt bad about purposefully not doing her job. She promised herself she wouldn’t let herself do that again and made sure to engage with anyone she could while at her station.

When it was Mythical’s turn at the panel, she stood off to the side and took pictures of her bosses and co-workers. She filmed a little for future needs and made sure to enjoy her time overall. She also made sure to listen to what Rhett and Link talked about and store it away for later and made mental notes on things she had questions about.

It was when she was going through some of her pictures during the fan Q&A that she noticed someone was watching her. She had glanced up for a second while being in thought when they locked eyes. She squinted while trying to figure out who he was really looking at because there was no way he was looking at her. She wasn’t even a producer that the fans knew. It took a minute, but he eventually looked away, while looking like he was caught with his hands in the cookie jar.

The next day, she was able to explore a little bit more. One of the OG producers took over the booth, and she decided to go and see what else was out there. She ended up stumbling upon interactive video gaming booths. She wasn’t a fan of video games, but she always liked watching people play them. Those that really enjoyed video games would be the most entertaining. It always pulled her in.

She scanned the games that were being played and caught sight of the group of people from yesterday. Feelings of guilt from not doing her job hit her, and she gnawed at her lip. She knew she had to start going easier on herself, but there was still a fear that the company would one day realize she was some incompetent girl from the midwest that didn’t belong in California or the industry.

“Hey, are you okay?” A voice spoke from in front of her.

She looked up and noticed the guy from the day before looking at her with scrunched eyebrows. “Huh?”

“You looked like you were trying to give yourself snakebite piercings with your teeth, and your foot was tapping faster than Thumper. Do you need anything? Or is there someone I can get for you?” He looked around the area.

She shook her thoughts from her head. “No, thank you. I’m fine. I didn’t realize I was that lost in thought.”

“Do you...do you work for Mythical? I saw you yesterday taking pictures of the panel, and I noticed you were at the booth. So yes...you do work for Mythical. That was a dumb question, never mind.” The guy scratched his face awkwardly.

Y/n assessed the situation. Was this guy a fan of Mythical? Like one of THOSE fans that she needed to be concerned about? Or was he just trying to make conversation? Y/n was at a disadvantage. She was alone at VIDCON (and California altogether, but that's for a different day), and she wasn’t quite sure what to do.

“Hey, Damien! I thought you were going to play the Halo campaign?” A blonde guy came up to the two. There were a few others with him; Y/n recognized them as the group from earlier.

The guy, Damien?, looked to the group as if forgetting that they were there. “Oh. Yeah. That slipped my mind entirely. Guys, this is...uh…”

“Y/n. My name is Y/n.” She smiled her work-place smile—the polite one she saved for when she didn’t know what else to do.

“She works for Mythical. Isn’t that cool?” Damien smiled as if he really thought taking pictures of the panel at VIDCON was the biggest dream job anyone could ever have.

“I think you’re way too excited about what I do for my job.” She laughed in response.

“It’s probably because he relates to it a little. We work for SMOSH.” The blonde friend supplied.

Y/n tried really hard not to let her face control the conversation. “Forgive me, but I don’t know what that actually is. And by the looks on your faces, I feel like maybe I should….”

“Oh, it’s ok!” Damien interjected. “If you haven’t gone to a panel yet, ours is later tonight. You should come by and check it out. Our channel has a few different things.”

One of the other group members stepped in. “Yeah, there's sketch comedy, video games, things like that. You’re at the video games booths, so I’ll assume you like video games?”

That made her chuckle. “I actually don’t really like video games. I was just wandering around because I got a break from the Mythical booth.”

When she looked at the group again, she noticed they were all staring at Damien with raised eyebrows.

“Oh. Right…” He said while looking shocked. “Well... as Noah said...there’s sketch comedy?”

“Well, who doesn’t like to laugh??” Y/n shrugged. “I’ll try to make it to the panel! Thanks for introducing me to something. I have to actually make it back to my booth to help with cleaning up. But I’ll be waiting for the panel!”

On the last day of VIDCON, Y/n was exhausted. She was just thoroughly exhausted. When she went to get herself a snack from the food service area to refuel for breaking down the booth, Damien was there as well. His group wasn’t with him, which made it easier for her to approach him.

“Damien?” She called when she was a few feet behind him. He turned around and held a pleasantly surprised expression. “Hey, I ended up missing your panel, but I hoped it went really well.”

“That’s ok. It means a lot that you found me and told me that. Thank you for the consideration.” The look in his eyes was earnest. He really meant what he said. “How was your first VIDCON?”

“I wasn’t really sure what to expect, to be honest. I don’t know a lot about any of this. I’m completely new to the industry. But I’m excited to see where it takes me. I hope to see VIDCON next year. Maybe you’ll be here too?” She licked her lips, wondering if that was a little too forward.

“I hope so, too. I’d really enjoy that.” He gave a smile that melted Y/n’s insides.

“Oh! I have a thing for you!” The PA reached into her sweater pocket and pulled out a small card. “It’s the industry, and one of the rules is to exchange business cards, right? Here’s mine.”

He looked at the white cardstock in his hands, noting that something was scrawled onto the back of it. “I gotta say. You’re super prepared for someone new to this. I don’t even have one. But thank you. I gotta get back to my group so we can head back to Sacramento. It was nice to meet you, Y/n.”

Y/n watched him reach a hand out to her, and she took it to shake. “It was nice to meet you, too, Damien.” 

The host sighed. “And our final guest, today, is SMOSH producer: Y/f/n Y/l/n. This is her first cast, and we’re very excited to have her on.”

“Aw, thanks, Ian. I almost forgive you.” She said with a glint in her eyes. “Yes, I am Y/n. I’m a new producer for SMOSH. I currently work under Sarah until I can get my feet more settled on the ground here.”

Shayne chimed in. “Have you noticed a difference yet? Between here and Mythical?”

The producer looked to be in thought before she replied. “Hm. The obvious difference is the job title. I was just a PA there, but I did a lot of producer side work because there were opportunities. I didn’t ever actually produce, but I still did a lot. I’m not complaining; I loved it. Obviously, or I wouldn’t have stayed as long as I did. But because I am currently working under someone, it’s mostly the same.”

The host closed his water bottle after taking a swig from it. “Are you excited to start as a producer on your own soon?”

“Uh, oh! Trick question!” Shayne called in his Aunt Carolyn voice before going back to normal. “You gotta say yes. Or you get fired.”

“Listen, bruh. I’ll take you. Don’t think I won’t.”

“Well, that’s not fair. Fighting you is like fighting three people right now. I’d have absolutely no hope!” The actor threw his hands into the air.

“OOOH nice segue, Shayne! It goes right into today’s first topic.” Ian looked into the camera. “We’ve always considered SMOSH as a...a family. We’ve had good times and some really awful bad times together. There are a few different kinds of out-of-the-workplace relationships amongst all of us.”

“Yeah, like Y/n has become my complete best friend. I mean, it started while she worked at Mythical, but it hasn’t changed since she moved over here. And right now, especially right now, we’ve grown even closer.” Sarah cut in while motioning to the new producer.

Y/n excitedly jumped in. “Yeah, I’m super thankful for Sarah just existing in the first place. I don’t have any family here in California, as you guys here at the table know. So, during everything that’s been happening, it’s been really...uplifting to have her support through it all. I couldn’t imagine the past year and a half without her.”

Sarah’s sweet smile held as she reached her hand out across the table and Y/n grabbed it to hold for a second. The men around the table let out a chorus of “aw’s.”

“Yeah, Damien, are you being replaced?” Ian asked. Jokingly.

The actor chuckled. “Listen, if Sarah wants to replace me, that’s fine. She’s got more cats. I completely understand.”

“That’s true.” Y/n looked into space. “She has quite a few more cats than you. But Freya and Zelda have become my children. I could never leave them behind. I’d have to take them with me!”

Damien looked at her for a second before he gave a simple “no.”

“I tried. Sorry, Sarah.”

The older producer giggled and shrugged. “That’s okay. I don’t know how many more cats Claudio will be okay with me having.”

“You just see Claudio coming home one day to an apartment full of six cats, and he’s super confused. ‘Sarah Whittle???? Do you even live here anymore? Sarah?’” Shayne laughed after giving a very bad mimic of Claudio’s accent.

“And then there’s just one giant cat because I’ve become one myself. ”

“But it’s like a cat from the movie ‘CATS,’ so it’s super terrifying.” Damien chuckled his way through his addition to the joke.

“Oh, my God. No. My poor husband. I couldn’t. OKAY, no more cats. I give I give! Damien, you can keep your girlfriend.” Sarah laughed.

There was a quick hush that spread across the studio. Ian raised his eyebrows and nodded. That just made his job so much easier.

“So, back to today’s topic…Some of our guests have an announcement to make.”

“It’s not really an announcement, though, Ian.” Damian began but stopped when the girl to his left gently put her hand on his arm.

“It kinda is. The photo from earlier wasn’t like...an official announcement. The caption you gave was a little vague. I also don’t know why I’m even arguing. My bad, babe.”

Damien turned toward her as best as he could with the surrounding equipment and table. “No, don’t worry about it. You’re right. This morning’s photo wasn’t an official statement.” 

If there was one aspect of being in Y/n’s current life situation that she detested the most, it was the constant migraines. Without fail, she would develop a headache when she first woke up.    

Damien learned to be prepared for the morning routine. In the first few months of their new lifestyle, he had grown to realize that mornings weren’t going to be the easiest. He would be the first to wake up, take his shower, and start the coffee and tea. Y/n had been a heavy coffee drinker until recently.  

After the actor got his morning routine out of the way, he went to wake up his girlfriend. It wasn’t that she wasn’t a morning person...but that she had difficult mornings. As he walked into their shared bedroom, he noticed she was sleeping peacefully for the first time in a while. Without wanting to miss out on the opportunity to express how happy he was at seeing his partner in a relaxed state, he pulled out his phone and snapped a pic. He opened Instagram to edit the picture, adding a grayscale filter. The caption was kept short, simple, and mildly vague; they did have a SMOSHcast announcement to make later that day, after all. After making sure that the blankets covered her body, he posted the picture for all of his followers to see. He proceeded to put his phone back into his pocket and get on with the rest of the usual morning routine.  

 Y/n pouted. “You’re so good to me.”

Damien gave a gentle smile and tapped her bottom lip so she’d stop. “It’s because you deserve the world.”

“I remember now why I made that rule about you two showing affection in the office. Y’all are gross.” The host shivered.

“You don’t have to lie, Ian. We know you dig it,” Shayne interceded.

“Yeah, when I first started a few months ago, I really believed my job would have been in jeopardy had Damien and I been caught in anything other than a respective distance apart from each other as co-workers. But, now that I’ve been here for a minute, I can tell how much you like to see your kids happy.” Y/n winked at her boss.

The president of SMOSH nodded in agreement. “The rules were for you two, honestly. I knew that you wanted to keep things private, so I was just trying to create a safe work environment for you. I’d never, well...at least now that I’m in charge of it all… I’d never ask you guys to do anything you weren’t comfortable with. When we agreed that you’d be coming over to SMOSH, Y/n, I knew that your privacy as a person and a couple would be at the top of your concerns. It wasn’t necessarily your choice to be a part of SMOSH, and I’ll never stop apologizing for that, but I want your experience here to be worth it. You’re worth it just by existing.”

“God, Ian. You know I cry easier these days, man. Don’t do this to me. Don’t be that ho. Fuck.” The girl was wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her SMOSH merch hoodie. “It’s fine. I didn’t actually put makeup on today. It’s cool. Whatever.”

“But I mean it. You were thrown to us when we needed it the most, and I’m, and the rest of us, are extremely grateful for you.”

 There was a jovial nature to the lounge that everyone was in. The SMOSH cast hung out in between sketch takes and were gathered for an impromptu meeting that Ian had called earlier that day. No one thought anything of it when Y/n walked in and made herself comfy next to Damien on the couch. Shayne was originally next to him, but he automatically got up and sat on the arm instead.

“How’s today been so far?” The Mythical PA asked as she settled in.

“Not bad. We knocked out a few sketches. We have some Pit stuff to record after this meeting.” Her boyfriend’s best friend responded.

“OH Y/n!” She heard Courtney cry from across the room. “Them boots! They’re so cute!”

“Thank you, Courtney! I found them on a resale Facebook shop. I’m not mad at them.”

Everyone in the room fell into their own conversations about this and that. Y/n took the time to look around and really take in the SMOSH members surrounding her. A year ago, she didn’t know ANYTHING about SMOSH, but she was happy for the relationships she built and the opportunities that being affiliated with the channel gave her. When SMOSH was bought by MYTHICAL, she found herself wandering over to SMOSH once or twice and did some side work. They’d borrow her occasionally, and she loved it.

Ian had walked into the room during her reverie and was attempting to draw everyone’s attention. Y/n missed the first part of what he was saying but eventually caught on.

“So, because we’re down a producer, we’ve been able to pick up a new one full-time. I think we’re all pretty excited that Y/f/n Y/l/n is officially joining our team as a SMOSH producer.” Ian kept going, but Y/n tuned him out to work through what he just said.

“Wh...what?” She asked, completely confused. “What did you just say?”

“You moved to SMOSH?” She heard Jackie ask from her right.

“Babe?” Damien looked down at her with scrunched eyebrows. “I didn’t know you were leaving Mythical.”

“I...I didn’t either.” The girl started floundering. “I...what? When did I move here? What do you mean I work here now? I don’t...What? I love Mythical...I would never leave.”

The president of SMOSH sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Well, fuck. This is not what was supposed to happen. I was given the green light from Mythical to make an official announcement. I would not have had this meeting if I, at any point, didn’t think you would know…”

“So...just like that...I work here now?” The girl was close to tears.

The room was quiet.

“Right. Right...I uh…” she got up and wiped her hands on her jeans. “I guess I have an office that I gotta cleanout on the other side of the building. If you’ll all excuse me…”

No one said anything as she left. Everyone looked at Damien, who then looked at Ian. Ian sighed heavily and walked out of the lounge.

Y/n was in the office she used to occupy putting things in boxes and trying hard not to cry. She loved working at Mythical. There hadn’t seemed to be any problems that she could see, but maybe she was so blinded by all of the good things in her life that she missed something.

“Do you want some help?” Damien stood in the doorway, wearing a sad smile.

That’s when she lost all composure. He must have caught the second she was about to start sobbing because he was right next to her chair, holding her as she kept sitting. He whispered words of love and encouragement as she cried.

“I don’t understand! I thought I was doing so well. I love it here! I got so much out of being here. What did I do?!”

Damien was crouched next to her at this point, wiping her tears. “Did you talk to them?”

“For like a minute. They said that I’d see more opportunities at SMOSH. They said that they could see me becoming something better over there. But they didn’t tell me that before they talked to Ian? I’m the one that essentially got fired! How can they just make these decisions for me?! I’m not…” She stopped.

“You’re not what, Baby?” He had his hands cupping her cheeks.

“I’m...I’m not ready...I don’t want to be a producer yet. I’m not ready to leave the nest yet. I don’t want it to change.”

Damien nodded in understanding. “That’s what’s really upsetting you, isn’t it? You don’t feel you’re ready to make this career change. Yes, and about being traded to SMOSH.”

“Don’t get me wrong. I love all of you. I love SMOSH. But I belong at Mythical. This is my home.” The woman sniffled. “It’s not time to leave.”

“Baby, you’re going to flourish at SMOSH. I know you’re terrified. Especially since this isn’t something that was discussed with you. And you’re right. It’s not fair. I’m sorry that they didn’t say anything to you.” He brushed some hair out of her face. “Love, it’s your choice if you want to work at SMOSH, but Baby, it’s time to leave Mythical.”

The next day at SMOSH, the couple found themselves at Ian’s desk. They were called in first thing, but Y/n wasn’t quite sure why. Ian was in his chair, taking a sip of his coffee while the two looked at each other.

“I think...we need to talk about somethings now that you’re both at SMOSH together. I know that you guys have been keeping everything private dealing with your relationship.” Ian took a minute to think through his thoughts.

The two nodded to show that they were listening and agreeing, so far.

“I couldn’t be happier that you two found each other. You’ve somehow managed to find your perfect other halves. It lifts the spirits here when you’d come over and visit, Y/n. You were already one of us before this week happened. I mean it.”

Y/n gave a sweet smile. “I know you do, Ian. I love you, too.

”Ian sucked in a breath. “So, I’ll have to lay some rules down in order to protect your privacy, because that’s my concern. What you do out of office hours is whatever. If you decide to come out as a couple, then I support it one hundred percent. But for now, with your wishes to remain unknown to the fans as in a relationship, there can’t be any PDA. We gotta nip that in the bud. I know this place is our home, but you never know. And when we’re on location or on a set, just please be careful. Okay? We’re a small company. We don’t have that many PR resources. Okay? Does that sound fair?”

The couple looked at each other. They seemed to be conversing with just their eyebrows and head movements. It took a minute or two before Damien spoke up.

“Yeah, about that...We do want to keep it as private as possible, but that might start to get a little hard.”

“Please don’t tell me that one of you posted something and that I’m too late.” Ian tapped the desk, anxiously.

“Oh, don’t worry, Ian.” Y/n bit her lip. “You’re not the one that’s late.”

The president couldn’t keep the deadpan expression from his face. “You kids are gonna put me in an early grave.”

 “Keep it up, Hecox, and I’ll quit. I swear it. I’ll just sit at home all day with the cats whilst judging OG SMOSH videos and why that weirdo with a bowl cut acts the way he does.”

“Okay, claws in, tiger.” The table laughed with Ian trying to fake-placate the girl. “I’ll hold in the nice things for the rest of the cast.”

“Thank you.” Y/n blinked. “No, wait!”

“Hey, Y/n,” Shayne called. “I like your hoodie.”

“Oh, this ol’ thing?” She pulled at it. “It’s borrowed, and it’s super soft. I’m LIVING. I wanted to ask if there was some vault or something where I could get my own.”

“No, no…” her boyfriend patted her shoulder. “You can wear this one. You can just wear all of my hoodies. Don’t worry about it.”

“I won’t be able to fit in them forever. I was already bigger than you to begin with. I don’t have long until I’ll get stuck putting them on. I need bigger ones, babe.” She turned to Ian. “Honestly, I don’t care what they look like. I just know I’m quickly running out of time before nothing fits anymore.”

“Yeah, of course. You’ll get your own to pick from. Don’t worry about it.”

It was Damien’s turn to pout. “But I like seeing your tumtum. Don’t put it awaaaay.”

“I love you so much, Damien, I do. But I’m about to suffocate in this.” She tried pulling at the bottom hem of the shirt to prove her point.

“If I may ask, how far along are you?” Ian spoke. “Also, as I ask this, I can see Shayne in the corner of my eye, giving me a look because he knows this answer.”

The blonde gave a suspicious smile. “I’m like the pregnancy stalker. I wasn’t trying to be weird about it. I was trying to give them their space, but like, Damien is my best friend in the entire world. I admit I have a problem. It hasn’t reached the point where I show up to doctor appointments, however.”

“Yet.” Y/n chimed in. “But uh to answer your question, Ian, we’re about...6 months? I think? Honestly, anything with numbers is gone from my head. Pregnancy brain is real. I talked to my best friend back home, who has two children, and she said sometimes, pregnancy brain never goes away. So...I’m SUPER excited for that. I can't wait to never do math again. THANKFULLY my man is super smart. He just has to be smart enough for the both of us from now on until we die.”

“That’s the most pressure I’ve ever been under. Thanks, babe.”

Shayne laughed. “Yeah. Having a kid? Easy. Being smart? Oh, man. OOOOOOH MAN. Whole other level.”

The SMOSHcast went on and drifted away from Y/n and Damien’s relationship to other topics. They talked about upcoming projects, future trips, and movies that were coming out. Shayne and Damien threw out jokes. Sarah and Y/n shared looks pertaining to things that were between just the two of them. Ian made sure to keep the talk flowing and always had something to say to stir the pot.

Finnerty called out that they were winding down to about fifteen minutes left of recording. Ian looked at the couple across from him and gave a slight signal that Sarah and Shayne didn’t miss. They shared a look but waited for the expecting couple to start. Y/n and Damien looked at each other to decide who was going to start. Y/n shrugged and sat up straight.

“So there was something else we wanted to share. But it’s actually for the two of you.” She faced Shayne and Sarah. “We were wondering if you’d do us the honor and be our kid’s godparents?”

Sarah’s face lit up, and Shayne gave a simple and quiet “what?”

Damien picked up where Y/n left off. “You two are our best friends, respectively. While yes, we wanted to discuss everything and make this cast an honest statement to the fans, we wanted to ask you something important to us. We love you guys, and there’s no one better for it.”

“OH MY GOD YES! REALLY?!” Sarah yelled but immediately apologized into the mic to the editing team. “You really want us to be godparents?? It’s a total, yes from me! I could never turn that down!”

Everyone turned to Shayne, who was busy trying to hide his tears behind his hands as he tilted his head back. They let him try to collect himself for a minute before Damien tried again.

“Buddy? You good?” He put a hand on his best friend’s shoulder.

“Oh, my God. You really trust me with that?” The blonde actor ran his hands through his hair while still looking at the ceiling.

The look in Damien’s eyes was softer than what Y/n was used to seeing aimed at anyone but herself. But she understood it. It was Damien and Shayne, after all. She winked at Sarah as the two giggled softly.

“Of course! Who else do you think I’d ask? You’re the only one I’d ever pick for that, man. I love you. And I’d be honored if you’d just say ‘yes,’ you dingus.”

“Well, duh! You think I’d say no? Oh, my God.” Shayne and Damien awkwardly hugged as best as they could.

Ian nodded at the whole thing. “Yep. Well, that’s a good place to leave that. Thank you, guys, for listening. If you enjoyed this SMOSHcast and want to know when we post more, then hit that bell. Subscribe. And hey, watch the rest of the videos we’ve uploaded. Stay safe out there. We love you.” 

[xx-ingie-xx]

Forgotten Ch 16 Excerpt

The last chapter still isn’t ready, so I figured the least I can do is post an except! This is the first couple of pages, and it sort of gives away the direction I’m taking... So I’d skip it if you don’t want any answers until the chapter is ready. 😀 I do take some minor liberties, and I’ll talk about that more after the chapter is posted.

---

As promised, Zelda returned to the castle in time for a private supper with her son. The two shared a peaceful evening playing games by the fire, then moved to Shayne’s room for his usual bedtime story. The boy had listened in gloomy silence, no doubt bothered by his father’s absence. He drifted off only halfway through the story, oblivious to his mother’s whispered promise as she moved to kiss his brow.

"I will make this right."

Quietly she returned to her chamber, eager to resume the mission she had started that very morning. Throwing a cloak about her shoulders, she then retrieved the Ocarina Link had returned to her, played a few lighthearted notes, and vanished into the night.

A moonless sky cloaked the Lost Woods in darkness when she rematerialized before the Forest Temple. There she found Saria waiting for her on a small stump, visible only by the light of her fairy companion and the numerous fireflies drifting about. The girl greeted Zelda with a smile, then joined her on the temple portal, where she brought them both to the Chamber of the Sages. 

The other sages had already gathered there, and they, too, greeted her with warm, encouraging smiles. Few words were exchanged as they took their places about the Chamber, for there was little to say. They had already gathered mere hours ago to discuss Zelda’s plan, though it was hardly concrete. 

Experimental meditation, she had told them.

In truth, she would perform the same exercises Impa had taught her since the accident, the same exercises she had recently abandoned. Her method was unchanged, but the conditions were new. This time she knelt in a chamber charged with ancient magic, guided by her fellow sages. Her mind was open to her past, and her heart ached to reclaim it. 

Zelda prayed these changes would yield some better result. 

She settled at the center of the chamber while the others formed a circle around her, each focusing their energy toward her. Zelda closed her eyes, feeling a shiver course up her spine until the hairs stood on her neck. Then Impa begin the usual breathing routine, her voice like a steady drumbeat as Zelda emptied her mind. She likened herself to a rock cast into the sea, sinking down, down into the murky depths of her subconscious.

“Open yourself to all possibilities,” she heard Impa say. “Relinquish all control. Abandon expectation... “

Then, after what seemed like an endless descent, the Sheikah’s voice began to fade. Zelda struggled to stay focused, aware of a strong warmth pulsing from her right hand—the same warmth she felt when she neared the Spirit Temple earlier that day. 

Only when she no longer heard Impa’s voice did Zelda finally open her eyes.

A black void stretched before her, mocking her with its emptiness. Frustration burned in her chest, but Zelda shoved the emotion aside, grasping for the patience to wait.

Then a subtle change came into focus—wisps of grey amid the blackness. They multiplied and shifted about, taking shape as ghostly, fragmented scenes beyond her recall. Countless voices accompanied them, overlapping in a jarring cacophony of indistinguishable words. 

Zelda plunged into free fall, covering her ears as she fought to keep her descent. Light and color exploded on all sides, forming blurred, disjointed images she could no longer place. Overwhelmed, Zelda squeezed her eyes shut and opened her mouth to scream—

Then everything stopped.

Her feet touched solid ground, wet grass beneath her boots. Relieved to find some steady footing, Zelda dared to open her eyes once more... 

And stumbled back in horror.

She stood on the remains of a battlefield, still littered with the bloody remains of monsters and soldiers as far as she could see. A cold wind swept across the carnage, tugging at torn banners and cloaks, but otherwise all was still. 

What… is this…?

A soft humming sound drew her attention, and her eyes settled on a pale blue light near a fallen soldier, barely visible among the heaps of fallen enemies. He lay face down on the ground, unmoving except for his blond hair rustling in the wind. 

Slowly, and barely daring to breathe, Zelda stepped around the carcasses, drawn to this one soldier by some strong, inexplicable force. Dread churned her stomach as she observed his tattered green tunic and crimson cloak, each stained with dirt and monster filth. His bloodied hand still grasped a pale blue sword, the source of the light she had followed. Its glowing blade pulsed and faded, as though joined to its master’s dwindling life force. 

Zelda ignored the weapon, however, kneeling down to better study the soldier’s face. Stray locks had covered his eyes, but she could see he was a young man. Handsome. Slowly she lifted a hand to brush his hair aside, driven by a strange desire to look upon him… 

“You do not belong here.”

Zelda froze, lifting her head to see an impossibly beautiful woman staring down at her.

[mst3kproject]

The Face of Marble

This movie has a zombie dog.  It’s also got John Carradine from The Unearthly and Robert Shayne from Teenage Caveman, and was directed by William Beaudine, who brought us Design for Dreaming.  But honestly, who cares about that when there’s a zombie dog?

On a storm-wracked cliff somewhere live mad scientists Dr. Randolph and Dr. Cochrane, who are trying to raise the dead but aren’t very good at it.  Their first experimental subject, a drowned sailor, promptly dies all over again when lightning strikes the Frankenstein equipment.  This was probably a lucky escape, because subject two, Mrs. Randolph’s dog Brutus, comes back to life as a bulletproof zombie with a thirst for blood and the ability to walk through walls!  They get back to work on improving their technique, and when Mrs. Randolph herself later dies in a tragic matchmaking accident, the two scientists figure she may as well be subject three.  It kinda works, and kinda doesn’t… but not in the way anyone expected, especially me.

I guess I have to explain ‘tragic matchmaking accident’. Elaine Randolph’s ethnic stereotype maid, Maria, wants out of this place and has decided that the best way to bring it about is to have her mistress and Dr. Cochrane fall in love and run off together, taking her with them.  A combination of voodoo and persuasion seems to be on the verge of bringing this about when Dr. Cochrane’s pre-existing fiancée Linda shows up to surprise him on his birthday.  Maria therefore sets out to murder Linda by releasing toxic smoke into her bedroom, but doesn’t know that Linda and Elaine have switched rooms because Linda freaked out when the ghostly Brutus wandered through hers in the middle of the night. It was much shorter to just say ‘tragic matchmaking accident’.

That probably gave you a pretty good idea of just what a dumb and contrived movie this is.  The print is also pretty terrible, old and scratchy and with poor sound – and yet it’s actually kind of fun to watch.  The Face of Marble is a bit slower than it should be despite being only an hour and a quarter long, and the ending unfortunately makes no sense, but the plot twists managed to surprise me a couple of times.  Nobody here is a great actor but nobody’s really terrible, either. You can tell who’s who and what’s going on.  For something I would watch, it’s a decent film

What I really liked about it, though, was the treatment of the characters.  For all I’ve called them mad scientists, Randolph and Cochrane don’t really fall into that ‘type’.  They’re not trying to create an indestructible army or Show Those Fools or anything, they want to save lives: Randolph talks about people who’ve drowned or asphyxiated, people for whom rescue came just a few minutes too late. Nor do they display the mad scientist’s typical lack of conscience.  Randolph gets so caught up in his work that he euthanizes Brutus the dog, but he’s absolutely sure his process will bring the animal back as good as new.  When this doesn’t work, he feels terrible about it and hides it from Elaine, partly so she won’t be angry but partly because he’s deeply ashamed of himself.

The incident also destroys his confidence in the project. When Elaine dies, it’s Cochrane who talks him into trying to resurrect her, since he has been working on the formula and he now believes it will work.  Randolph almost refuses, saying he’d rather see Elaine actually dead than become some monster like the dog, and Cochrane has to do quite a bit of convincing.  What we see in these two men is a folie à deux – each would be quite reasonable on his own, but when they can play off and encourage each other they end up doing unbelievably awful things.  That’s kind of neat, and makes it more believable that they would try the experiment on Elaine even after their previous failures.

The two men’s relationships with the women in their lives also have some complexity.  The backstory tells us that Randolph saved Elaine’s life by removing a brain tumor, and subsequently fell in love with and married her.  Despite this, he doesn’t seem to spend much time with her, and she appears to be downright intimidated by him.  Elaine is shown to prefer confiding in Cochrane rather than confronting Randolph about her fears, despite the fact that Cochrane’s reaction is invariably condescending.  On the other hand, Cochrane is very tender with his own fiancée, Linda, and actually listens to her when she tells him she doesn’t like Randolph and thinks they both need to get away from this place!

Elaine and Linda are set up, both by the writers and by Maria the sorceress, as romantic rivals for Cochrane.  You’d think this would lead to a lot of petty hostility between them, but the movie avoids that, too.  They are fairly cool towards each other at first meeting, but quickly make peace after Linda’s sighting of the zombie dog.  By the time they’re about to part they’re still not best friends, but they clearly don’t dislike each other.  Linda has figured out that Elaine has a crush on Cochrane but as long as Cochrane isn’t going to act on it she won’t let it worry her.  She could have been a villain in this story, as could Randolph and Cochrane themselves, but the writers avoid taking the easy way out.

Instead, the villain of this story is Maria.  The situation would never have arisen if she hadn’t attempted to murder Linda, and later we see her use both the police and the zombies trying to get herself out of the mess she’s gotten into. Unfortunately, this is where the movie starts to fall apart.

A few days after the undead Brutus leaves the lab by leaping right through the wall, a detective shows up at the house to ask Dr. Randolph about a series of attacks on local livestock.  Randolph identifies the culprit as an animal suffering from ‘hemomania’, or a need to drink blood.  When Elaine comes back from the dead, then, we expect her to do so as a vampire. Everything we’ve seen so far seems to be leading up to that idea.  When she comes to and appears to be tired, but all right, we assume the condition will set in eventually.

It never does.  Instead, Maria is suddenly able to control the undead Elaine and Brutus! Dr. Randolph soon figures out that it was Maria who killed Elaine, and in his anger and grief he considers stabbing her to death until Cochrane talks him out of it.  In order to save herself, Maria has Elaine stab Randolph, then go back to bed and forget it happened.

Where did that come from?  We have never seen the slightest indication that Maria can do this.  Whenever she has been working magic, such as leaving effigies under people’s pillows or preparing potions, we’ve never seen any evidence that she actually has supernatural powers.  The love charms were suggestion and the poison was simple chemistry!  The film-makers had ample opportunity to set something up here, by having her take control of the zombiefied Brutus through similar actual magic, but they didn’t do that. We just see Maria sitting in front of a fire waving her arms… then Brutus comes into Elaine’s room, Elaine rises in a trance, and Maria just hands her a knife and orders her to stab away, as if she has the woman under hypnosis.  Did I miss something?

At the end, the cops get the real story from another servant (I’m tempted to insert a quip about how you can tell it’s fiction because the police listen to a black man, but we’re way beyond that being funny) and show up to arrest Maria, but she’s already committed suicide, and footprints in the sand show that Elaine and Brutus have just wandered off into the ocean. Okay.  Does that mean anything?  Are they gonna drown or just wander around on the bottom and fight sharks like in Zombie 2?  Did Maria make her do it or not?  Is Elaine even aware that there’s anything wrong with her?  Earlier she didn’t seem to be, and nobody told her what happened… she seems to think she was merely ‘taken ill’.

The feeling I get from all this is that the writers didn’t know what to do with Zombie-Elaine.  They were too chicken to have her go around tearing throats out because then she wouldn’t be attractive anymore.  They can’t kill her because they’ve already established that the zombies are bulletproof and they can’t think of any other way to do it.  So they just have her leave, mysteriously and unsatisfyingly, and completely squander several opportunities they’ve set up for themselves.

Elaine wondering what’s wrong with her, unable to help herself even as she’s horrified by her own actions, would easily have been the scariest thing in the movie.  Randolph and Cochrane realizing that what came back isn’t quite Elaine, and having to deal with what they’ve done, would have been the most heart-wrenching.  They could even have had the two of them, formerly unbelievers, go to Maria for magical help – only to have Maria refuse to do anything because she, as previously established in dialogue, really does love her mistress.  The ending could have been really cool, but they just ran out of ideas.

I did enjoy about the first two thirds of The Face of Marble.  By the time Elaine finally dies I was getting a little impatient to see some actual zombies, but the film then went in a totally different direction, in a bad way. The ending doesn’t feel like a plot twist, because a plot twist should be something that makes sense of things we’ve already seen.  It’s doubly disappointing, because the attention paid to the characters and their motivations and relationships really made it look like writers knew what they were doing.

[smooshjames]

forget you not (v)

how come they don’t make ‘em like you, babe? (or: a night to hold on to)

word count: 3.6k

a/n: ok this is technically the final part of forget you not as it’s currently written, but i may write an epilogue if i’m feeling up to it. but either way, thank you for reading and i hope you’ve enjoyed!! as always, all songs that have been mentioned or will be mentioned are not mine; they belong to little mix. this chapter only has one, which you can listen to here. also, i have a ko-fi, so if you want / are able to buy me a coffee, i would sincerely appreciate it! alright, i believe that’s everything i need so say, so without further ado, here’s part five of forget you not. thank you againn for reading, i hope you enjoy!

warnings: more angst, Implied Sexual Content(tm)

previous parts: one, two, three, four

No one pressed you for details on your conversation with Shayne, which you were glad for. You didn’t even know what to think about it yourself, much less how to explain it to other people, even to your best friends. You went through the last event of the day in a sort of trance, barely speaking throughout the whole interview. If anyone asked you about it, you figured you could just blame it on being exhausted after a long day.

As soon as you were free, you went straight back to your hotel room and locked yourself in the bathroom for an hour so that you could shower and decompress. Once you had scrubbed all your makeup off and changed into more comfortable clothes, you came out of the bathroom and found your hotel room empty. There was a note from Carly that read the following:

Hey Buttercup,

I figured you’d want some time and space so I went over to Alexis and Piper’s room. If you want to talk, or just to have some company, feel free to come join us. We were thinking about going out for dinner so text me if you want something.

I love you. You’re the baddest bitch I ever met.

-- C

You smiled at her thoughtfulness and went to crawl into bed. You scrolled through Twitter for a while but found your eyelids growing heavier as the sun began to disappear behind the horizon. It wasn’t that late, only about eight o’clock, but between getting up early and having such an exhausting day, you soon found yourself dragged off into sleep.

You woke up around eleven, groggy and disoriented. When you sat up, you saw Carly entering your darkened room. “Hey,” you said, voice rough with sleep and disuse. “How was dinner?”

“It was good,” she said. “You feeling okay?”

You sighed. “I don’t know,” you said. You dug around in the sheets for your phone and eventually found it. It was almost dead so you went to plug it in. There were no pressing notifications; the only things of note were a text from one of your friends back home and a text from Carly, sent shortly after you’d fallen asleep, which was just her double-checking that you didn’t want anything for dinner. “I kind of feel like somebody punched through my ribcage and started squeezing my heart.”

“I think that’s called a heart attack,” Carly said, smiling. You laughed despite yourself. “In all seriousness, I don’t blame you. This weekend has been utterly insane. I’m gonna shower and get some sleep, though, okay? We need to be up early tomorrow so we can pack before we fly home.”

You nodded. She rooted around in her suitcase for a change of clothes and then disappeared into the bathroom. You considered her words. You weren’t sure if you wanted to go home the next day. You knew that if you left without seeing Shayne, your choice would be made; if you didn’t go see him tonight, you’d probably never see him again.

You made a frustrated sound in the back of your throat. You reached for your phone, found the text from him, and put the address into your GPS. It was only twenty minutes from your hotel.

After thirty or so minutes, the water in the bathroom shut off. You laid on your back and stared up at the ceiling, debating.

The lovesick teenager in you really wanted to go to him, at least so you could see him one last time before you really said goodbye. Maybe if you gave him another chance…

No. That was stupid. You had to remind yourself what happened last time; all the tears, the heartache, the pain. The only reason you got through it was Carly, and then eventually the band.

You wrote music to help yourself cope, and then you met Alexis and Piper, and everything took off from there. If you let yourself give in to the insane idea that he could magically be better this time, you were signing your own death warrant. You knew how things ended with Shayne.

You rolled onto your side so that you were facing away from Carly’s bed and looking at the window. You closed your eyes and tried to sleep, but you couldn’t. Distantly, you could hear Carly moving around the room behind you as she got ready to go to bed. You heard her covers rustling as she laid down.

You couldn’t force your brain to be quiet, and after a while, you ended up just staring straight at the radiator on the far wall of the room. Slivers of moonlight were shining through the cracks in the blinds.

Something thumped against the back of your head. You let out a yelp, surprised, and bolted upright. When you turned around, Carly was still laying down and facing away from you, but one of her pillows was on the ground between the two beds. You figured she had thrown it at you. “What was that for?” you demanded.

“You’re being too loud,” she replied. “I can’t sleep.”

“I’m not saying anything!”

She rolled over and looked at you, accusatory. “I can hear you thinking.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’ll try to quiet my thoughts down,” you said, sarcastic. You scrubbed your hands over your face, frustration causing your shoulders to draw tight and tense.

“Please do,” she replied, fake-annoyed. Her voice softened, though, as she continued: “what happened today, buttercup?”

“What do you mean?” you asked. You knew what she was talking about, but you didn’t want to face it.

She rolled her eyes. “I mean you and Shayne disappeared after the Smosh video, and you said all of about three words to anybody for the rest of the day. The girls and I were all talking about it over dinner. If he did something, we can and will make his death look like an accident.”

Again, a laugh bubbled out of you despite yourself. Carly always knew how to cheer you up. But the laugh faded quickly, and the smile not long after it. You sighed. “He didn’t do anything,” you said. “I mean, he just… he said that him and Courtney aren’t dating, and then he said that a part of him is still in love with me, and he said he doesn’t want to ‘leave things like this,’ whatever that means, so he texted me his new address and said I could come over if I wanted to. He said that he wants to talk more, but that if I don’t show up tonight then he’ll never bother me again. The most batshit crazy thing he said was that he thought I was over him. And it’s just stupid because he says he doesn’t want to leave things like this but he’s the one who ended it in the first place!”

By the end of your rant, your voice had raised in pitch and volume. You ran a hand through your hair, distressed. A tear dripped down the bridge of your nose and you wiped at it frustratedly, but with that tear, the floodgates opened. Your throat tightened and you couldn’t hold back a sob. You felt your heart, which had been so precariously stitched back together, shattering all over again.

“Oh, honey,” Carly murmured. She slid out of her bed and moved over to yours so that she could wrap you in a hug. You clutched at her shirt and let yourself be babied for a few minutes, crying weakly against her.

A part of you was disgusted with yourself. You had worked so hard to get over him, and now here you were, broken again after just one weekend. You thought that you’d given all the tears you had to give for him.

Once you had managed to calm down, Carly moved so that she was sitting next to you rather than on her knees in front of you. She kept one arm wrapped around your shoulders. “So now you don’t know if you should go or not?”

You nodded. “I know that if I don’t, if I go to the airport tomorrow and fly home… he’ll keep his promise. That was the one thing he was always good at. And I know that it’s for the best if I just let it die, but something in me doesn’t want this to be the last time we ever talk to each other. Seeing him again, I… I was so sure that I was over him. But there’s a reason I haven’t found anybody else, and the reason is that every date I go on, every guy I’m with… I compare them to him. And no one ever seems quite as good. And now he’s twenty minutes away and I can’t sleep because I just know I need to --”

You stopped short. You had finally found your answer.

“Go, Y/N,” Carly whispered.

It didn’t take more than that. You threw off your covers, grabbed your phone and wallet, pulled on the first pair of shoes you saw, and rushed down to the lobby to catch the first taxi you could find.

***

Shayne was beginning to give up hope, which was a statement, considering he hadn’t had much of that to begin with.

He ordered takeout from your favorite Chinese place. At least it had been your favorite before everything fell apart. He hoped your order was still the same. Once he had the food, he put it in the oven to keep it warm and began straightening up his apartment. He took out the trash, washed the dishes, folded and refolded the throw blanket on the couch, and halfheartedly played Animal Crossing in an effort to take his mind off of the passing minutes.

Eight o’clock came and went, and nine o’clock not long after it.

At 9:30, Shayne went to move the food from the oven to the fridge. He considered eating his but decided against it. If you showed up, he didn’t want you to have to eat alone. Besides, his nerves had completely sapped him of any appetite.

At ten o’clock, he gave up on Animal Crossing and just put on an old comedy special instead. He scrolled through Twitter but found that he wasn’t absorbing any of the words on the screen, so he put his phone down and just stared at his television without really hearing any of the jokes.

A couple of times, a car door closed outside of his apartment and he perked up, hoping against hope. But the knock on his door never came, so he sank back down into the couch and turned back to the TV, kicking himself for being so stupid. Of course you weren’t going to come.

Finally, at 11:30, he sighed and went to get ready for bed. He was halfway to the bathroom when there was a knock on the door. He froze.

“Hey, Shayne, um…” he felt like he could cry tears of joy at the sound of the voice from outside, slightly distorted through the wood of the door but definitely yours. Shayne felt like his bones were melting. “It’s Y/N, I, uh… could you let me in, please?”

He nearly broke his leg running over to the door. He cleared his throat, straightened his shirt, and opened the door. You were standing there in sweatpants and a ratty old t-shirt, your eyes red-rimmed and puffy. “Hey,” you said.

“Hi,” he said. “Um, come in, please.”

He stepped back to let you in, which you did. There was a moment of agonizing silence where you stood on his welcome mat, looking around.

“It’s nice,” you said.

“Thanks,” he said, closing the door behind you. “Um, sit down, please. Make yourself comfortable. I ordered Chinese for you if -- if you’re hungry. Or if you want water or something, I can get you some of that, too.”

“Actually, I am really hungry. I didn’t eat dinner,” you said. He felt his chest twist with worry, but he didn’t comment on it. He didn’t have the right to be worried about you. You were an adult, and you could take care of yourself.

“Okay,” he said. “I’ll go heat it up.”

You mumbled an “okay” and sat down on the couch while he went into the kitchen to heat up your food. He moved through his apartment in sort of a daze, only half-aware of what he was doing.

You looked like an angel sitting on the couch when he got home. Your nose was buried in the book you’d started last week, and it must’ve been good because you seemed to be well over halfway through it. You looked up when you heard the door close and flashed him that smile that made him feel like he was going to implode with the force of his love for you. Suddenly, his palms were sweating and his heart was thundering and he couldn’t breathe.

He felt like he was in a coal mine and the canary had just dropped dead.

“Hey, babe,” you said. “How was your day?”

He barely heard the question. He walked over to the counter and braced himself against it, took a deep, shuddering breath. The ring in his back pocket suddenly weighed a metric ton. Too much; too much feeling, too much pressure. He was pretty sure this was what dying felt like.

Jesus, what was wrong with him? He had a woman behind him that was perfect in every aspect, and that fact was suddenly cloying, overwhelming. It was cold in the apartment but he shrugged his jacket off anyway. He felt shaky, unsteady.

He couldn’t do it anymore. He didn’t know why, but he felt panic welling up inside him and he knew he needed out. And then, before he could think it through, he dumped kerosene over his own life and set it ablaze with just four, stupid words.

“We need to talk.”

The microwave beeped. Shayne startled back into the present. He blinked a few times, trying to clear his head of thoughts of that night. That didn’t matter right now. What mattered was that you were sitting in the living room waiting for him, and if you were waiting for him that meant you were willing to talk. That meant he had a chance.

He returned to the living room with the food and held yours out to you, and he couldn’t help but notice the way your eyes lit up when you saw where it was from.

“No way! I haven’t had this in so long!” you said, looking between Shayne and the takeout container like he’d performed some kind of miracle.

For a split second, it was as if the last few years hadn’t happened. You tucked into your food and he did the same with his, and there were a couple of minutes where neither of you said anything. Every so often he’d sneak a glance at you, trying to commit to memory exactly what you looked like at that moment. It was edging ever-closer to midnight, and the moonlight filtering in through his blinds had haloed you in silver light. You looked ethereal and lovely and he could feel himself falling back in love with you with each passing second.

Finally, when you were done eating, you set the takeout container down on the coffee table and turned to him. He did the same. “That was really good,” you said. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” he said. “I, um… I thought you wouldn’t come.”

“In all honesty, neither did I.”

He wanted so desperately to reach for you. His fingers twitched as he fought the instinct to take your hand. He picked at a stray thread on his sweatpants in an effort to occupy his hands. “What made you change your mind?” he asked.

You sighed. “I knew that if I didn’t come tonight I would never see you again, and that was… I don’t want that.”

He hummed low in his throat, desperately trying to quell the hope welling up within him. “I don’t want that either,” he said. He couldn’t bring himself to look you in the eye. He just kept staring at the stray thread on his pants, feeling a little bit like his fingers weren’t his own. “I, um… I said this to Damien earlier, but I guess it’s probably more important that I say it to you. Letting you go was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, Y/N, and if I could go back and change that night I would in an instant.”

There was a long, agonizing moment where you didn’t say anything. He risked a glance up at your face; the silence was unbearable and he needed to get an idea of what you were thinking. Your expression was stony and unreadable. “Please say something,” he whispered. His voice was strained around the tears he was holding back.

“I loved you,” you said. Your face was still utterly unreadable. “I loved you harder and more honestly than I’ve ever loved anybody. And you… you decided that you didn’t want that. That you didn't want me. And Shayne, I wish we lived in a fairytale where everything could just be okay again, where I could just love you again without the past getting in the way, because if we did --” you stopped and took a deep breath. “After you, music became my everything. I worked myself to the fucking bone to get myself where I am, to get myself back to good. And now… now it doesn’t even matter because what the hell is the point of being good if I’m not good with you?”

“I’m sorry,” he said, because he didn’t know what else to say. “I was so utterly idiotic. I was scared and in too deep and I didn’t know what I wanted. I sure as hell didn’t know what I had. But then you were gone and for a while, it was like what the fuck is the point? What am I doing if I don’t get to come home every night and see you? And I thought about calling so many times but I just… I just couldn’t. I was always too fucking scared, and by the time I worked up the courage, I thought it was too late. I thought you would’ve found somebody else.”

At that, you laughed. “I tried,” you said. “I went on so many dates, my friends set me up with so many guys. But none of them were you, and all I’ve ever wanted is you, so how the hell were they supposed to compare? So finally I just stopped going on dates. I told Carly… I told myself, really, that it was because I was so busy with work. That I’d find someone new eventually. And before I knew it, it had been years and I was still alone because there’s nobody like you.”

Now, Shayne did reach for you. He held his hand out, palm up, a clear invitation. You took it without hesitation, and that simple touch was enough to send him spiraling out of his body. “I still love you,” he said. You squeezed his hand.

“I know,” you replied. “I… I don’t think I can say that right now. I think I feel the same way, but the word, saying it out loud… it’s too much. But I have to leave tomorrow and I’d really like to have tonight to hold on to.”

He knew it was a terrible idea. He knew he shouldn’t do it. He’d already let his hopes spiral entirely out of control. He felt like he had finally reached the light at the end of a five-year-long tunnel, and he’d spent so long in the dark that he wasn’t entirely sure what to do with the light. You were still nervous, flighty, like a stray animal; one wrong move and you’d be running for the hills.

But there you were, silhouetted by moonlight and looking at him like you needed him to breathe and Jesus, he was only a man. He wasn’t equipped to deal with the fire spreading slowly from his fingertips to his heart and out into his bloodstream.

“Okay,” he said, and for a moment, nothing happened. The room was still, frozen in time.

And then you both surged forward, desperate, like you needed each other to survive. He maneuvered you up and toward the bedroom, and the door shutting behind you sounded a little like the last nail in the most beautiful coffin ever built.

***

The sound of Shayne’s alarm had never been so wonderful.

He sighed as he rolled over, reaching blindly for you. But where you should’ve been he found only sheets, and they had long gone cold in your absence. Shayne sat bolt upright and looked around the room. Your clothes were gone. You were gone.

He almost crashed onto the floor trying to get himself untangled from his sheets. He pulled on the nearest article of clothing he could find and burst from his bedroom into the living room, heart pounding. You were nowhere to be seen. “No,” he mumbled, over and over until the word lost meaning, eyes scanning his apartment desperately for some sign of you. For a few terrifying seconds, he wondered if the night before had been some kind of vivid fever dream. But that wasn’t possible; the feeling of your skin under his fingertips was far too real, far too tangible. It had to be real.

And yet, the only proof that you’d been there at all was an empty takeout container and a note saying that you would call soon.

[frogocado]

Thornless (Shayne Topp imagine)

@star-mum said:Hey! Saw your opened your requests so ik I've talked about the "giving Shayne flowers" concept so I wanted to request something like that? (I can see the cute smosh fam Instagram stories happening gOD I LOve shayne) hope that's okay, thank you sm in advance if you write it !!

Summary: You’ve noticed that Shayne has been incredibly down over the past month. After his shrieking laughter is replaced with moping and deep sighs, Ian privately suggests to you that Valentine’s Day would be the perfect time for you to give a grand gesture. Not wanting to disagree with the president of your company, you hatch a plan for your favorite boy. Word count: 2.1k even tho the goal was only 500 whoops Warnings: extreme corniness, small moments of sad Shayne to pull on ur heartstrings, etc.

When you woke up on Valentine’s Day, the softness of the light was almost to pull you right back into sleep again. After you finally rose and pulled back the curtains, you marveled that the very day you decide to pose a grand gesture, California decided to bless LA with soft rain showers, sure to last all day. As you packed the boxes of flowers carefully into your small trunk, you couldn’t help but laugh. Not only was it raining, but the moisture was sticking in the warm air to form a semi-visible mist. Ensuring that the boxes were secured firmly in their places, you noted the array and vibrancy of the colors before carefully closing the door to finish getting ready for work.

Your confidence was felled as you arrived at work after you realized two thirds of the way there that you had no idea how to transfer the flowers into the building. Your forehead fell forward, landing against your steering wheel as you groaned. You and Ian had somehow planned everything perfectly, even practicing how you would get Shayne into the conference room. “You have a theater degree!” Ian had shouted only the day before when you had urgently asked him to stay after hours to help you practice. “I hired you for your theater degree! What else did you lie about on your resume? Have you even acted?”

“My degree was more for screen writing,” you reminded him, voice edging on shrill. “I’ve written a quarter of Smosh’s scripts this past year, President Dumbass.” He opened his mouth to shout again but he stopped when you continued. “Listen, Ian, hearing Shayne ask me about my night before in the morning as I fix my coffee is like, the best part of my day and I really miss it. I don’t want to make it weird, I just want it to be nice. Please help me.”

Ian had grinned at you then, slapping a hand on his desk. “Come on, try it again.”

A knock on your passenger window pulled your head off your steering wheel instantly. You jolted, finger instinctively pushing down the door lock. Ian was waving frantically across from you. As you unlocked the door again, he slid into the passenger seat, cheeks flushed red. “Sorry, I thought you were dead. I ran down here.” He was breathing hard as he glanced at you. “I was waiting for you to get here so I could help you carry things so I was at the security desk. I saw your head slump down and thought you gave yourself a heart attack and die.”

“So you decided to kill me yourself, huh?” You responded, clutching the steering wheel tightly to stop yourself from reaching over and smacking your boss. Ian rolled his eyes. “Oh come on,” he huffed. “It’s the thought that counts, especially today of all days.” He gave you a grin before glancing into your back seat, whistling at the three boxes that awaited the two of you. “How’re you feeling about this?”

You popped your trunk before sighing, getting out of the car. “Not great. Some might say… a little bad?” You grabbed a box, pushing it into Ian’s arms. “Is Shayne in the office yet?”

“Oh yeah,” Ian scoffed. “He can’t even look at the decorations without rolling his eyes. Garrett has been considering recommending a counselor because it’s affecting people’s work, but I talked him out of it. Can I do anything to help you be less nervous? Not to put pressure on you but this could also go horribly wrong.”

“I’ve considered that, yes.” You stack two smaller pots on top of Ian’s box carefully. You considered it in the shower the previous evening, you had considered that the week before, you had considered that when writing your notes, you had considered it nearly every second. “You can help by either continuing to talk and hype me or just not… saying anything.” You sighed as you shut the trunk and headed towards the building, not waiting for him to catch up.

After you and Ian successfully brought everything into the conference room in the annex, you were feeling a little bit better. After coaxing yourself up just a bit more, you headed into the Squad office to put your plan into motion.

You shifted on your feet in front of his desk, waiting for him to take his Air Pods out. When his blue eyes finally met yours, you almost lost all of your momentum. He just seemed so down.

You knew that this was all for him, but knowing that you would be able to see his true reaction to everything in those ocean hues made your stomach twist. He almost seemed to sense this as he used your name to anchor you back into reality. “Y/N?”

The gentle tone in his voice encouraged you. “I wanted to talk to you about something,” you responded in a jumble. You took a breath to slow yourself down. “It’s not work related. Can you come with me into the conference room?” Your mouth shut tight, teeth ground down as to not pull your bottom lip between them. 

Shayne’s face shifted, his eyebrows rising high. As he placed his Air Pods in their case, he pushed himself up from his chair. “Uh, okay,” he answered slowly. “I kinda feel like I’m in trouble.” He gave you a sheepish smile, a question he didn’t quite ask hanging in the space between the two of you.

You almost explained it all right there. He looked so vulnerable and sad, like if this was some sort of prank he might break right there and lose it. You immediately looked at the floor, your body instantly trying to shrink back in on itself as your shoulders rose to your ear. As if conveniently, the grunting sounds of Ian clearing his throat in the annex immediately pulled you back.

This wasn’t about how you were going to feel about all of this. You were doing this for Shayne. If your theater degree could carry you through anything, it better carry you through a grand gesture. You had to remember to thank Ian later. Your shoulders dropped as you turned away from Shayne, heading into the annex. “You’re valid in feeling whatever you feel.” Your hands were beginning to sweat as you waited a full beat before Shayne followed after you.

“Alright, alright, you’ve got me intrigued.” He sighed, eyes falling from your face to the floor as he tried to ignore the pinks and purples cascading from the ceiling. You stayed a full half step in front of him, hoping he didn’t have a view of how wide your eyes were. As you approached the windows of the conference room, you finally slowed your pace down enough to glance at him evenly. His eyes were still on the carpet until they shifted to your face and then to the windows.

You stepped back, selfishly wanting to drink in the view. While there were so many parts of Shayne that you found distracting, you were captivated by the reactions on his face. His eyebrows rose with surprise as his eyes darted across each gift. “What?” He questioned. He grinned in disbelief, looking at you. “You meant the other conference room, right?” He thumbed over his shoulder but you shook your head, holding the door open for him. “Why?” He asked, the door held open with your foot.

You tried not to feel silly as you smiled back at him, waving your hand toward him. “No spoilers, let’s go.”

In shocked disbelief, Shayne stepped into the conference room. Your hands began to shake as he stepped closer to the bouquet. “Did you buy all these? Are they for everyone in the office?” He noticed the orchid and his mouth dropped. “Do I get to pick one?”

You didn’t anticipate his giddiness. You hadn’t planned for all of his questions so you simply watched him until his attention shifted back and finally onto you. Your cheeks darkened under his gaze and you gestured to the table. “I got you these,” you said loudly. You were scared that the voice that you had planned would be too quiet, that you would lose momentum as soon as you started. You glanced away from him, rummaging in your pocket to pull out your notes.

“You’ve been so sad and it’s been making me really sad and I know you like flowers and they help you feel happy so I thought you deserve to have something to remind you to be happy from someone nice.”

You opened the folded paper and glanced back up at his face, holding his gaze for a moment. “So if you could sit, pl—” You started, but suddenly his voice was over yours.

“Is this a prank?” His face had an expression you couldn’t read.

“No,” you responded. “Do you want to know what these are and their meanings or do you have other questions?”

Shayne narrowed his eyes as he slipped into a seat, chin tilted up toward you. “Yes. Am I in trouble?”

You weren’t sure how to answer and so you ignored him, glancing at your scribbled writing. You had gone over everything you had wanted to say and didn’t really need them, but it felt easier than looking Shayne in the eyes. “I know we don’t talk about serious things together but I seriously want you to know that I really miss hanging out with you in the mornings. I wanted to get you some flowers because you always seem to appreciate them and I thought that since you’re a graduated scholar, it might help for you to learn a little bit about some of them.”

Your eyes moved off of the paper and landed on him. You softened as you noticed his smile. “This is very thoughtful,” he softly replied, giving you the perfect encouragement.

“Well, you deserve it so… This carnation is white, so it means sweet and lovely.” Shayne made a small noise, a grin pasted on his face as he leaned back in his seat. You glanced at your scribbled notes, squinting as your pointed finger shifted to the next flower. “This one is a hibiscus because you’re like, the most beautiful person in this office or probably all of LA.” You could feel his eyes on your face and your shoulders rose as you quickly looked back at your notes. “Moving right along, we also have the daffodil to remind you that there will be new beginnings in the Spring. This crocus is for youthful happiness because all of your jokes are dumb and you laugh the loudest at them all, even with a bachelor’s degree. White jasmine is because you’re so sweet. A rose is for, uh…” Your notes shook in your hands.

“I know what a rose is for,” Shayne interrupted, leaning forward to pluck the deepest red one from the bouquet. “Love, desire, admiration…” He inspected the stem, then glanced at you with a smirk. “No thorns?”

The words were all a jumble in your head, but they somehow formed something coherent as they spilled from your mouth. “Because I didn’t want you to get hurt,” you replied softly.

Shayne’s smile grew wider and you noted the light pink roaming across his cheeks to the edges of his ears. You didn’t know his face could carry such a shade of color and you wondered what else might cause it. “I don’t know what to say,” he confessed breathlessly.

You felt yourself start to wilt until he was standing, starting to collect the bouquet and the orchid pot in his arms. “I just… walking helps me process thoughts better and I thought I could tell you my thoughts on the walk back to my desks with the second best surprise given to me at work.” You couldn’t stop grinning, even when his fingers brushed your wrist as he handed you the hibiscus plant, even when the two of you started to walk back and you noticed people scattering away from the annex hallway to give you space, even when after arriving at Shayne’s desk you hadn’t thought that there might be too many for all of them on his desk at the same time.

You kept grinning the rest of the day, even when an Instagram notification pulled at your attention later in the day. Swiping it open, you grinned at Shayne’s Instagram story. “Definitely in trouble,” captioned a photo taken from Courtney’s own story. Shayne was pictured at his desk, mid screeching laugh, surrounded by the thornless roses you had given him.

[writingfortoomanyfandoms]

So I know you wanted some poly!shaymien ideas. How about smosh winter games, where the reader ends up having a few insomniac nights, so she lays in bed until the guys are asleep, then goes down to down the living room to hang by herself until shes actually tired enough to fall asleep. But theres one night where the guys aren't actually asleep, so eventually they follow her down? How about prompt 10 for Fluff and 7 for Miscellaneous?

YES I LOVE THIS IDEA OKAY

Fluff 10 - “Dance with me”

Miscellaneous 7 - “See - sometimes being a huge nerd comes in handy”

--------------------------------------------------------

Y/N looked up in surprise at the creek of the staircase.

It was two o’clock in the morning, the Smosh Winter Games cabin had been silent for hours, filled only with the soft, distant sounds of snoring. 

No one else was awake as far as she knew. She had been downstairs in the living room of the house at this time almost every day so far into their stay in the cabin and had not yet encountered any of her friends on her midnight escapades downstairs.

She just had to get out of the room she was sharing with Shayne and Damien. She didn’t want to wake them up or keep them up just because she was so unable to fall asleep. 

“Shayne? Damien? What are you doing awake?” Y/N asked, shocked upon seeing her boyfriends making their tired entry down the stairs from their bedroom.

“Shayne heard you get up,” Damien explained, rubbing his eyes, clearly the more tired of the two as he flopped down onto the sofa next to Y/N, nestling his face on her lap. 

“I thought you were asleep?” Y/N asked, her hands going to Damien’s hair to play with the strands.

“Not quite,” Shyane shrugged. He moved Damien a little so that he could slide in next to Y/N. Damien shifted so he was also lying across Shayne’s lap. “Is everything alright?” He asked, holding his arm out and Y/N nuzzled up to his side, sighing in relief at the warmth he provided.

“Yeah - I just couldn’t sleep,” Y/N admitted. Shayne pressed a kiss to her temple.

“You could’ve woken us up,” Damien said, his voice fogged with sleep.

“You’re exhausted, Dames,” Y/N chuckled.

“No ‘m not,” he argued, turning to bury his face into her stomach, sighing contentedly.

“Go back to bed, Dames,” Y/N whispered but Damien shook his head tiredly.

“I like listening to you guys talk,” he explained.

“You’re such a nerd,” Shayne commented, affection clear in his voice.

“Well, sometimes being a huge nerd comes in handy,” Damien said, perking his head up just enough to glare at Shayne, who rolled his eyes and lent over to peck Damien’s lips.

“Go back to sleep,” he said. Damien scrunched up his nose and Y/N giggled quietly.

Shayne and Y/N spoke in hushed tones to one another, Damien drifting in and out of sleep, much to their amusement.

“You’re still not tired?” Shayne questioned, squeezing her shoulder and kissing the top of her head.

“Sorry - you can go to bed, Shayne, honestly,” Y/N promised him, her brow pinched in concern.

“No - come on, dance with me, that’ll make you tired,” Shayne instructed, gently moving Damien off of him and onto the sofa instead, standing and holding his hand out to Y/N.

“And you call Damien a nerd.”

[the-dead-skwad]

Every Mom Ever X Damien Haas X Reader

Damien fluff 🥰 Had such an issue with my laptop getting this up but I hope you guys like it ❤

You looked down at the script laughing to yourself. At the top of the page it said in bold letters EVERY MOMS EVER. You only had a small part because obviously all the fans love to see the usual guys and normally you were on smosh games. Honestly it was the strangest/ best job you had ever had, getting paid to play games and be silly.

Scrolling down the script you noticed you were along side Damien which was perfect. You had been the closest friends for years now so it should be pretty easy. As you looked closer your heart started to pound harder and harder. "Oh jesus!" You said way louder than normal.

"Hey!" Shayne's head peeked round the door. "Whats up?"

Your eyes darted to him "Ermmmm.... have you seen Courtney?"

"Yeah she was just making a coffee" He pointed down the office.

You leapt out of your seat "Great!" you ran past him "Thanks!" shouting back to him just leaving him the most confused he's ever been.

Bursting through the canteen door Courtney nearly threw her coffee across the room. "Hey mannnnn.. Whats going on?"

"So..." you could litterally hear the panick in your voice "I'm in the next every blank ever right?"

"Yep!"

"And we all ricieved the script today right?"

"Yep!"

You took a huge sip off her coffee, like that was going to help you "Have you read it yet?"

"Nope!"

You sighed passing over your phone to her. Watching her face go through a journey of expressions would have been so funny if you weren't freaking out so hard. She placed your phone down gently on the table and turned to look at you "So, this maybe be the GREATEST DAY EVER!"

"No! Courtney this is the worst day ever!" You started to pace up and down the kitchen "I can feel my heart in my throat, my hands are sweating, I'm shaking."

She stood up and took both your hands in hers "Listen Y/N, your my best friend right?"

"Yeah..."

"And you trust me right?"

"Ermm yeah"

"And I've never steered you wrong?"

"Well there was that time you said we were getting pizza and instead sent me to a haunted house with Damien and Shayne."

She shook her head "That doesn't matter right now.. What I'm trying to say is, it's all going to be fine and you litterally have absolutely nothing to worry about, and besides I'll be there."

"Are you sure?" You squeezed her hands.

"Yes I'm sure."

A loud scream came from the office making you both jump. "Oh my god.... Shayne's read it."

--

It was the day of the shoot and you were super nervous. You hadn't let on how you were feeling to everyone except Courtney. She picked you up from your house, you sat in the car rambling on about something you and Damien had waatched the previous night.

"Soooooo...." she looked over at you smiling "Did anything happen?"

"No, I mean it was samazing as usual. We watched TV, ate shit, laughed and joked all night, but again nothing happened. I just don't think its going to happen mannn. If he liked me it would have by now."

"Maybe he just feels the exact same as you. Maybe he's too nervous to do anything."

"Yeah I don't think so... I'm just going to have to get used to the fact that we are just friends and even if my heart aches when I see him I'm just going to get over it."

Courtney squeaked a little "Dudeee! Your heart aches? Thats the cutest thing I've ever heard!" She beeped her horn as Shayne's car swerved infont of her "I promise you now I'm going to do all I can to help you."

"Thanks mann, I just need to get through this shoot first then we'll set a plan in action."

"Deal!"

You pulled into the work parking lot an got out. Shayne parked up next to you amd got out with a huge smile on his face "Good morning! I'm so ready for today."

"Hey Shayne." You smiled at him. Damien got out his passenger side and your heart nearly exploded "Morning Damien!"

"Hey you." He walked up to you and gave you a hug "It's been ages since I've seen you."

You looked down at your watch "Yeah! A whole 11 hours! How ever did you cope without me."

"Honestly if it wasn't for Shayne I probably wouldn't have."

"Yeah alright.. Lets get this shoot over and done with and then I need...."

Damien cut you off when he pulled a caramel iced latte from behind his back "This?"

"How in the fuck?"

Shayne's face popped up between the two of you "He literally made me stop to get that." You heard Courtneys happy squeak from behind you.

"Awhh thank you." You gave him a hug and turned to Courtney. Your eyes were nearly popping out your head.

--

You sat on a not so comfy bed on the set. The cheap black 'emo' wig stratched the top of your head, you rubbed your hands up and down your legs.

"Hey, you ok man?" Damien nudged you, he knew you far too well and clearly noticed you were nervous. "It'll be fine, we've been best buds for years."

"Yeah" you half smiled. The words 'best buds' was like a punch to the gut. You took a deep breath in through your nose and went to 'happy place' which ironically was sat at home with the smosh crew watch and eating shit.

"ACTION!" Gareth's voice made you jump.

"So.. this is your room?" Damiens teenage voice he put on would have made you laugh if you weren't in charecter.

"Yeahhh...." You both awkardly glanced at eachother "Sorry I can't close my door.. You know moms."

"DID YOU CALL SWEETIE!" Courtney burst through the door with her mom voice on.

"Ughhhh," You were trying your best teenage impression "God mommm! Leave us aloneeee!"

"Sure sweetie!" She slowly backed out the room "If you need anything I'll be out here."

You turned to look at him, your faces slowly got closer and closer. Your lips were literally inches away from eachother. Courtney reappeared "You sure you don't want a snack hunny?"

"Mooommmmmm!" You screamed at her.

"Cut!"

Your whole brain was fuzzy from almost kissing him. You knew you weren't going to as it wasn't scripted but thats the closest you have ever gotten to him even if you did spend nearly every waking minute together. Both of your eyes locked for a minute. You swear you saw something new in his eyes but you really didn't know what. "Ermm, I'm just going to talk to Court for a sec." You leapt out the bed.

She was getting changed out of the ridiculous Mom costume "See it wasn't that bad."

"NOT THAT BAD!" Breathing you calmed yourself down "Sorry, I didn't mean to shout but my entire insides are screaming. I don't know how much longer I can hold in these god damn feelings, its been years since I've felt like this, I know youv'e heard all this from me before but honestly I feel like I'm going to burst. How in the hell do you even tell one of your closest friends that you're head over heel inlove with them without destroying everything you have now. I mean if something was going to happen it would have by now. Jesus christ I feel like my heart is going to explode one day soon...." Your rant trailed off as you noticed courtneys face. Her eyebrows were raised so high they had nearly migrated off her forehead and her mouth was dropped wide open. "What?"

Someone behind you tapped you on the shoulder. Who ever it was has just heard everything you had said. You spun around to explain your self when you were met with those beautiful warm brown eyes. "Shit...." You breathed out "I..." Before you could even begin to apologise he placed his hands either side of you face and pressed his lips against yours. You kissed back instantly. It felt like your bodies just melted into one, like it was always supposed to be like this. You moved back and looked into his eyes and you saw it. Pure love.

He brushed his thumb against your cheek, both of you were smiling from ear to ear "Wonna grab some lunch?"

"That would be nice." You leaned in again for another kiss.

A very loud scream from the doorway broke you two apart. Shayne stood there with a bigger smile than the both of you put together. "Ian!" He screamed down towards the set "You owe me 20 dollars!"

　

[sourhaas]

For the best

Damien can't work out why Y/N broke up with him three months ago. Everything had been going so well. Then one night, at his birthday party, the truth comes out. What will he do?

Disclaimer: this is the first story I've written in a long time so I'm sorry if it's pretty crappy! Just an idea that came into my head

The music was so loud, Damien could hardly think. He knew he was meant to be enjoying himself, after all, this was meant to be his birthday party. But his heart wasn't in it. In fact, he heart hadn't been in much since he and Y/N broke up almost three month ago.

Even the viewers had noticed his feeble attempt to act happy on camera. Nothing felt right without her. Yes he worked with her, but since the break up she had been avoiding him, always finding an excuse to be where he wasn't. It was killing him, seeing her laugh with other people, actually enjoy being around them. That used to be him.

' "I think we should break up" these six words brought his world crashing down around him. He had just gotten home, to find Y/N sitting on the couch, her head in her hands. All he could do was stare at her, his throat dry. He could feel tears in his eyes and blinked hard to stop them falling.

"I'm sorry Damien but I can't..not anymore" she whispered, getting to her feet. His whole body was frozen as he watched her gather her stuff. He wanted to stop her, wanted to tell her that he loved her, to beg her but he couldn't. She left, without looking back at him. The click of the door brought his body back to life and he scrambled to his feet. By the time he reached the door and flung it open, her car was pulling off the driveway.

His heart hurt, his chest was tight. Tears streamed down his face as he crumbled to the floor. He brought his knees up to his chest, as sobs shook him. She was gone. After two years together, she had left him. He tried to think about where it had gone wrong, but there was nothing. Yesterday they had been talking about the future together, and now this.

The future.

Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out the small red box he'd just bought. Flicking it open to reveal the hand designed engagement ring. A ring she would never wear.

"Damien" a voice brought him back to reality, as he wiped the stray tears from his face. Looking up, he saw Shayne standing in front of him, concern clear on his features.

"Huh? Did you say something?" He mumbled, not even trying to hide his emotions. Shayne sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Man..I know it's tough but at least try to enjoy yourself, it's your birthday" the blonde begged. Damien sighed, closing his eyes for a second. Pushing himself to his feet, he excused himself for some air, making his way to the front porch.

With the front door shut, he slid down the side of his house curling in on himself. He just needed some alone time. Y/N was meant to be here tonight, this whole party had been her idea. He knew she had spent months planning it. It just didn't feel right without her.

Letting his head fall back against the wall, he took a deep breath. He needed to try and move on, she clearly had. His fingers drummed against his knees as he thought. Why shouldn't be enjoy himself, it was his party after all. Determination running through him, he headed back inside, going straight to the kitchen to make a drink.

Two hours later the front door opened as Y/N let herself in. Her friends were all drunk, many dancing in the middle of the room. A frown formed on her face as she spotted someone else in the mix, someone who didn't drink.

"Damien?" It was like her voice had pierced right through him. His whole body froze as he turned to look at her. By now, other people had noticed she was there, coming up to greet her.

She couldn't take her eyes off her ex boyfriend or the drink in his hand. His cheeks were flushed from the alcohol, his eyes glazed over. This was a side of him she had never seen.

"Y/N" it was like he'd been punched in the gut as he watched her walk into the other room. A hand landed on his shoulder, Shayne coming into view.

"Dude, go talk to her. Now"

He nodded, his heart racing. He followed her into the kitchen, finding her leaning against the sink. She glanced at him as he came closer, picking at the loose skin around her nail beds.

"You don't drink" she said simply, watching the colour fade from his cheeks. He ducked his head.

"I had to do something to.."

"To what?"

He looked up once more, locking eyes with her. "To get over you. What are you even doing here? These last few month you've spent all your time avoiding me and now you decide to show up?" He snapped, wincing internally at how harsh he sounded.

Y/N looked at him, eyebrows furrowed. "I came to talk"

He couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of him. Talk? She wanted to talk now? Shaking his head, he crossed his arms, swaying ever so slightly. "Okay, we can talk"

"Not whilst you're drunk" she replied, sending a wave of anger through him. He had never been angry with her before, but this felt different.

"No, you came to talk so talk. In fact, I'll start. I've spent the last three months, killing myself trying to figure out where I had gone wrong with us. Trying to find some shred of information that could help me figure out why you just threw it all away. I had to watch you laughing and joking with everyone else, whilst acting like I never existed. You dropped me like I meant nothing to you. Yet here you are, questions why I'm drinking at my own party whilst I'm trying to fix my shattered heart!" He knew he was shouting but he couldn't help it. Every inch of him wanted to stop, to turn back time.

Y/N looked away, tears streaming down her face. He felt sick. He needed to hold her, to apologise but he had to stand his ground. "Where did I go wrong" he whispered, now well aware that the music had stopped in the other room. No doubt everyone was listening.

She took a deep breath, before reaching into her purse and pulling out a small envelope. With shakey hands, she tossed it across the room at him, sending it's contents flying. He looked down, his eyes widening in shock as he caught sight of one of the little photos.

"Y/N..." His voice caught in his throat. Now he knew why she wanted to wait until he was sober.

"I'm pregnant Damien. That's why I left you"

He felt like he had been sucked under water, his chest suddenly way too tight. Every emotion possible washed through him, his heartbeat clear In his ears. Slowly, he lifted his head to meet her gaze.

"The day I broke up with you, I just done a test. And I remembered how the day before you were saying you didn't want kids yet, that you felt like they would hold you back at the moment. I already knew in my heart I would keep the baby, and I couldn't put that on you" her voice was a lot steadier than she expected.

He bent down, scooping up a scan. As he held it, he realised where he had gone wrong. Pregnant. Y/N was pregnant, with his baby. He had told her he didnt want kids, so she'd left him. To raise the baby alone?

"Why are you telling me this?" He mumbled, stroking a thumb across the photo. She laughed, shaking her head.

"You would've found out eventually"

"How far along?"

"I've just made twelve weeks" he stepped closer.

"Y/N...I..I'm sorry" his voice shook, making her heart break. It killed her to know she had put him through this.

Every single day, she wanted nothing more than to tell him, to take him back. But she couldn't do that to him, she couldn't force him to be a father. So she kept her distance, slowly watching the man she loved become a shell of his former self.

Damien looked at her once more, deadly aware of the silence between them. He had all these thoughts running through his head. He had been going to propose. He wanted this life with her. He needed her. But she thought a baby would've ruined it, so she suffered alone. He should've been there. He knew, right then and there that a family with Y/N was all he had ever wanted.

The two stood there, simply watching each other. Neither cared that the living room was full of their friends, no doubt freaking out. This was about them. Damien stepped forward, being careful not to tread on any of the scans.

"Y/N...I want this.. I want you" he started, finally reaching her, his arms held out slightly. All she had to do was step forward and she could be with him again.

"But you don't want kids" she muttered, her hand resting on her stomach. He shook his head, using his fingers to make her look at him.

"I didn't know, that a baby with you, was the one thing I wanted more than anything" he replied gently. Her eyes scanned his, looking for any sign that he was lying. He smelt of alcohol but he seemed stone cold sober now.

She stepped into his embrace, feeling the months of hurt washing away as his arms wrapped around her. He was careful not to squeeze too right as he held her, her head against his chest.

"we're going to have a baby"

[a-singleboat]

(After) Operation IRL

Word Count: 1531

A/N: i combined a request i got with the polling results and so it made this :)

Now, today wasn’t a day that you normally would have contemplated your entire existence but it was bound to happen sometime soon. During filming that day you had gone and let words slip out of your mouth as you usually did when you were excited. They usually gave you a few minutes of panic but this time.

Oh, how this time was different.

During the time that Damien was pulling items from the giant operation man’s body, you had gotten so excited that you were running around like a lunatic. And, on accident mind you, you had shouted, “I love you!” 

Now, normally this wouldn’t be a problem except for the fact that you and Damien had been dating for a little over a month and neither of you had said it to each other yet. In fact, love hadn’t even come up. You were both getting back onto the dating scene and had decided that yes, you did like each other enough to go out.

After a few dates and you meeting his cats and him meeting your two birds, it seemed like everything was going great. Great enough for you to even extend the offer of going to dinner with your family the following weekend after summer games wrapped up filming.

At that moment, however, instead of going to find Damien and talk to him about your feelings like an adult would do you were in yours and Mari’s shared hotel room. You four girls had decided long ago that on outings like these, you would rotate rooms if there was a maximum two to a room. For example, the next thing would be VidCon and you and Olivia would be in the same room while Mari and Courtney would share one. The rotation of rooms had started way back to roughly five years ago so why stop the tradition now?

You paced in the space in front of the beds, biting on your thumb and probably annoying Mari who was trying to watch whatever program was on TV. You heard her set her phone down on the stand between the two beds and clap twice. 

“Y/n, you just need to go look for him and talk to him. We already talked about all the possible outcomes and I’m one-hundred percent sure that Damien will listen to whatever you have to say,” Mari said with her hands clasped together. It was almost as if she were actually begging you to go talk to Damien though you knew she was giving you command more than begging you of anything.

“Alright,” you straightened out your back and dropped your hands down to your sides. “You’re right, I’ll go right now.”

“Thank you,” Mari fell backward onto her bed so that her hair splayed out all around her head like a halo. “I don’t expect you back tonight.”

You blushed, face heating up the quickest it ever has, “He’s rooming with Shayne, Mari! I would never!”

“Shayne’s in Ian’s room for the rest of the night, not sure why but I might stop by to say, ‘Hi,’ later though.”

You grabbed your phone off the TV stand and tucked it into your back pocket, saying goodbye to Mari before sliding on your slippers and leaving your room. 

For a hotel that was in the middle of basically nowhere, you could say that it wasn’t too bad. There were working lights and an ice machine down the hall not to mention that the building itself was about three stories high, which seemed to be the tallest building around. The cons were that the hotel was a little less than an hour out from the filming location and required everyone to be up earlier than they would like to be.

Since everyone was basically on the same floor save for some of the crew being a floor down, some doors were left open and you could see into the rooms as you walked by. Noah gave you a wave as you passed the door and you waved back, the gesture putting a smile on your face. 

When you reached Damien’s door, you hesitated. Why you hesitated, you didn’t know but time couldn’t go by any slower. You forced yourself to knock, twice, before taking a small step back. The time you waited seemed like ages before a disheveled Damien answered the door. 

He slipped on his glasses and saw it was you, face lighting up immediately. He opened his door wider and let you in. You took in how clean their room was and immediately felt embarrassed due to your’s and Mari’s room being a mess. 

He walked over to his bed and sat on it, clearing away the book he was reading and pat next to him so that you sat down. “What’s up?”

“I just came over to talk.”

He furrowed his eyebrows, “What about?”

“About earlier,” you bit your lip. “It just kind of slipped out and I didn’t know if you were ready.”

You could’ve kept going but the look on Damien’s face told you to stop. He draped an arm over your shoulder and pulled you in close, leaning the both of you back against the headboard. “Y’know, for what it’s worth, I love you too.”

You held your breath. There were those words again, taunting you. Did you love Damien? Yes, of course, you did. You were going to take him to meet your parents and your sister as well. You exhaled. 

“Do you ever think that we’re moving too fast?”

“No,” Damien kissed the side of your head, a gesture that made your heart melt. “I think that we’re right where we need to be.”

Before you knew it, Damien had kissed you full on the lips and you melted into the kiss. You somehow found yourself straddling him through all of that, only realizing when you pulled back for some much-needed air. You peppered his face in kisses, giggling slightly as he squirmed and tried to get you to fall over into the bed. Eventually, you caved and let yourself roll over off of him and to the side. 

Damien pulled the blanket over the two of you so that you could lay side by side in warmth. You stayed like that for a few minutes, just enjoying each other’s company and talking about anything that crossed your mind. When you looked at the clock on the wall and noticed what time it was, you tried to leave to return to your room because you were sure Damien was tired and needed sleep. 

He caught your arm and with the most persuasive eyes said, “Please stay?”

You climbed back into bed and cuddled up close to him. He reached behind him and shut off the light, plunging you into darkness. Damien placed a kiss on the top of your head and soon enough, both of you were asleep.

The next morning, you woke up to snickering and a very warm body who was harshly whispering, “Would you shut up, you’ll wake her!”

You blinked the sleep out of your eyes and looked up at Shayne who had his phone out and a wicked smile on his face. “Good morning to the lovely couple!”

He seemed to be recording which caused you to roll your eyes and cuddled more into Damien, “I swear if I see that online anywhere, you will be a dead man, Shayne Robert Topp.”

All giggling stopped and a loud, overly dramatic sigh was heard. “I guess,” Shayne said before starting to laugh again. “Better get up before Matt comes around to get everyone into the vans.”

You groaned and rolled over, glancing at the clock on the wall. “I should probably go get ready,” you kissed Damien on the cheek and said your farewells to the two boys. When you got back to yours and Mari’s room, you were greeted with a cheeky smile and a perky Mari. 

“So, how did last night go? I told you you wouldn’t be back last night,” Mari wiggled her eyebrows and opened the door to let you into the room. 

“Last night went fine, slept well and had a good talk,” you dipped into the bathroom to brush your teeth. 

“That’s it?”

“Yeah.”

She threw a pillow at you, knocking the toothbrush from your hand. You turned to look at her with shock written across your face. “What?” you questioned.

“Next time bring me some piping hot tea!”

“Of course, Evil Stepmother,” you stuck your tongue out at her. “Would you like me to do your laundry while that’s waiting?”

You snickered as she pouted before finally leaving you alone. You finished getting ready before flopping down onto Mari’s bed. “But in all honesty, thank you for telling me to go talk to him last night. I really appreciate it.”

She waved you off, a smile creeping onto her face. “Yeah, yeah. Just name a kid after me, okay?”

This time it was you that threw a pillow at her, knocking her phone out of her hand. You innocently smiled at her with two thumbs up. “I’ll be sure to do that, Mother Gothel.”

TAGLISTS

Permanent

@gretavanyeth @toms-order @starlightfound @lemirabitur @grandmascottlang @lovelyh0lland @positiveparker @bippity-boppity-boopa 

Smosh

@andreasworlsboring101

[smoshwrites]

i love you - damien haas

<<not my gif>>

includes: damien haas x reader

warnings: Very angsty, (fluff at the end, of course.) mentions of anxiety, depression and cheating.

this is a song fic, i recommend you listen to I Love You by Billie Eilish while you read :)

the defy split fell at a terrible time for you, for you were fresh out of a relationship with a cheating ex and needed to find not only an apartment, but a new job. you stayed with sarah wittle for a while but couldn’t help but feel intrusive of her and claudio’s relationship. but with your job now fully secure back at smosh and a small apartment not too far away from the office made you feel slightly back on track.

now that the office building is so much more open than before you are able to interact with not only your fellow meme-team, but the squad too, and it wasn’t until smosh began to work under mythical did you actually meet damien. his charming personality rubbed off on you immediately and you grew a liking for the boy after only a few interactions. every morning he would walk into the office he would give you a smile, which always made your heart flutter. your gut knew damien was a great guy, but your mind was still in full close off mode. but damien. he made you feel special. some days your only interaction was the shared smile in the morning, but he always made it his goal to sit next to your desk and eat lunch with you. you guys never really got the chance to hang out outside of work until one fateful weekend when shayne canceled his weekly anime binge with damien and he invited you instead. these nights became tradition, whether including shayne or not. you three became the iconic trio of the office, and you and damien became inseparable.

one night, shayne had flunked out on your anime binge yet again due to The Goldbergs, leaving you, damien and his two cat (who had become very fond of you). you were about 3 hours into your normally 8 hour long binge when you feel damien begin to shift and stiffen beside you.

“sorry, am i bothering you?” you softly question as you lift your head from his shoulder.

“no, no you’re completely fine.” he responds, avoiding eye contact with you.

“somethings up. i can tell.” you say to him, placing a hand on his shoulder and rubbing small circles on it. “talk to me.”

“i-“ he begins, tripping over his words, “i’ve been feeling a lot more emotions recently,” damien briefly pauses “and, well, i don’t know what to think about them.” he says.

“ok,” you start, “emotions are weird, i would know.” you whisper the last part. “and well, i find trying to be up front about them is helpfu-“

“i think i love you.” he whispers, just loud enough to hear.

you pause, your brain goes into full panic mode.

damien was your best friend, he had gotten you through a lot in the past few months, but you felt a sudden wave of panic when he said those 3 words. you hadn’t heard those words from someone in almost a year.

you slowly pull your hand from his shoulder, “damien” his name is not more than a whisper.

“y/n i-i’m so sorry. i knew it would be too much for you, god damien why did you have to say that, and i said it anyways,” damiens apologies became fuzzy in your brain.

the hardest part of this was you loved him too, you couldn’t escape the way you loved damien.

you hadn’t realized how far into your head you got until damien had to shake you back to reality.

“damien.” you whisper again, feeling your hands begin to shake. he took his hands off your shoulders, understanding you probably needed some space. “i-“ you still don’t know what to say, “i need to go.”

you saw the hurt in his eyes. you had never seen him cry before that point, but you could’ve sworn you saw a tear fall down his face.

“yeah. hey. don’t worry about this.” he says, you can hear the strain in his voice, like he was trying not to break. you nod, feeling quite emotional yourself. he stands up from the couch and you follow, stepping towards his front door. he opens it for you.

before you step out of his apartment, you mutter a quick “i’m sorry.” and slide out of his door without another word. one you got to your car you felt sick to your stomach. you couldn’t help but feel you had lied to damien, you loved him, even though you didn’t want to.

work the next few weeks were off. shayne could definitely see the tension between you and damien and you were falling back into a bad spot mentally. he stopped eating lunch with you and you tried to bury yourself in your computer to distract yourself from the bubbly presence that wasn’t next to you anymore.

one the 5th friday since damien said those 3 words, there was a small knock at your apartment door. you furrow your brows and get up off your couch to get the door, not bothering to check the peep hole. when you open the door and see the y’all boy with blue hair, you can’t help but suck in a breath.

“d-damien?” you say, dumbfounded at the boy on your doorstep.

“y/n, hey. can we talk?” you nod your head and step to the side, holding your door open for him.

“sorry, i wasn’t really expecting guests.” you say as he enters your fairly messy abode, which you haven’t had the motivation to clean.

“it’s totally fine, i kinda popped up unannounced.” he says, making eye contact with you for the first time. his eyes were swollen and red, like he had been crying. you wondered if he could tell how much you had been crying over him.

“oh” you break eye contact and shake your head, almost to clear your thoughts, “we can talk in the livingroom if you want.” you offer a shy smile that he reciprocated and you lead him to your couch. you both take a seat and damien clears his throat. you didn’t know where to start, or who was going to start. you could cut the tension in the room with a butter knife.

“i’m sorry for being so distant lately.” damien says and you nod.

“yeah, i’m sorry on my part too.” this conversation has played through 100 times in your head. “damien,” you start, but you choked on air as tears welled up in your eyes. you tilted your head towards the ceiling, as if that would stop the tears from falling. “i should’ve said it back.” you laugh at yourself, “i was- i was just so confused and overwhelmed and i didn’t know how to say it.” you pause for a second as a sob wracks through your body.

“y/n.” you could hear the tears in damiens voice.

“your too good for me damien.” you whisper.

“y/n.” he says again and you finally look towards him. his face was flushed and he looks to have shed as many tears as you. “i still- you know- my feelings haven’t changed.” he says, which makes you sob again.

“i love you, damien.” you finally muster out. “god, so much. i hate myself for it. i hate that i didn’t say it back. i hate that you are so, perfect. too perfect for me. i hate that i let myself love you so easily.” you slumped over your knees and stayed there for a second, waiting for damien to respond. all he did was put a hand on your back, and you fell into him.

you don’t know how long he held you for, but it felt like for an eternity. it was what you needed. as you pulled away he said, “let’s try this again.” he pauses before continuing, “y/n y/l/n, i love you.”

you felt a smile creep up into your mouth, “damien haas, i love you.” you pulled him into another hug that felt like it lasted a lifetime.

a/n: hello! i’ve been really sad lately so this was kinda comfort so sorry it’s so sad!! love u guys muah.

[angstyaches]

Let Yourself Out

Seriously, will this day ever end for these two?!

CW: nightmares, sleep paralysis, panic, trauma, repressed memories, demonic possession, emeto, fear of/danger of drowning (abstract)

Swallow the World: The Ouija Board, Pt. 8

Charlie was watching the waves again, or at least, his mind was. He always found he wasn’t fully asleep when this happened; it happened somewhere on the edge of consciousness, where he went most deeply into his thoughts. It was dark at the edges of his vision, and it made him dizzy to turn his head too much. He was stuck staring out at the harsh pale blue of the sky, and the line it made with the sea. He sensed the eyes that were close to him, but he couldn’t meet them. Or didn’t want to.

Why didn’t you tell him?

Well, I – he was hurting so much, and it wasn’t what he needed to hear.

He doesn’t think he’s worthy of love. Seems to me it was exactly what he needed to hear.

No. No, it wouldn’t have been fair, I – I want him to know he’s worthy of love, but not just mine - 

There’s another reason you didn’t tell him.

Charlie tried to swallow, but it felt like his throat had caved in with rocks and rubble. Water sloshed around his ankles and his hips where he sat huddled up, clinging to his ankles.

I suppose I’m a bit scared that he won’t say it back.

Liar.

Charlie shivered at a creeping coldness that lapped at his feet and hips.

You’re afraid he’ll say it, and you won’t believe him.

Charlie tried to turn his head again, to look away from the increasing power of the waves, but he couldn’t get a good look at his surroundings. Every time his gaze wandered past his feet or his shoulders, it snapped back forward. He couldn’t even tell what time of day it was, no matter how hard he tried. All he could see was endless blue.

Let me out.

I didn’t put you here, Charlie.

This time, he was able to follow the sound of the voice. He looked down, into the water gathering around his body; by now, it had risen up to his waist. His own eyes were nowhere to be seen in the black chasms that stared back at him.

Let me out, please!

You’re the one with the brain. Let yourself out.

The water turned black with spreading shadows, and Charlie began to scream. It started off as a childish wailing, the sobs of an infant clawing for the simple embrace of a parent; it ended deep and hollow, a lament for things that couldn’t be changed, couldn’t be saved, couldn’t be understood. It ripped at his lungs and made his throat feel like it was bleeding. 

The cold began to spread through his body like fire, locking up his bones and crumbling his nerves until it felt like he was dying, he was dying, he was dying, and nobody cared, nobody wanted to save him, nobody cared –

I do. I always have.

Charlie’s eyes opened on his bed in Mulberry house, and he listened our for that voice again, but he was alone. No Shayne, no Charlie Two. He didn’t even feel like he counted as a presence in the room.

Hello? he wanted to ask, but he was frozen. His limbs felt like tree branches scattered across a forest floor, unable to move of their own volition, ready to be trampled by the next feet or hooves that came by, indiscernible from the rest of the twigs and fallen foliage.

Where did you go?

Charlie closed his eyes, trembling lips prying themselves apart to let out a harrowing moan, something that seemed to come right out of his bones, skipping his throat and his mouth altogether. It snaked out of him and loosened his jaw, and finally, finally, he could scream again, and he did, he screamed and he screamed, not only because he was terrified, but because he could.

He didn’t know how long it was before that feeling of being pulled underwater eased up, and he was able to curl into himself and cry, but eventually he felt arms pull him close, body heat trapping him against the rocks – no, the mattress; there was a mattress and a blanket, and he was safe, he was here, all of him was –

“Charlie.”

His crying tapered down to a pitiful squeak.

See? You did it. You’re alright.

“Charlie? Charlie, talk to me, please.”

Charlie scrambled upright, finding that he wasn’t alone after all. He must have been dreaming that Shayne had left, because there he was, sitting upright in bed next to him and staring at him like he’d seen a ghost come out of his mouth.

“Shayne,” Charlie gasped, and he threw himself towards him, scrambling until he was basically straddling him. Shayne gasped as he took his weight, but slowly pulled him close with trembling arms.

“What the hell?” Shayne choked out softly. “You were screaming, and I – I couldn’t wake you. What happened?”

“I was s-so…” Charlie’s heart and stomach felt like they were causing a traffic jam in his throat as he buried his face in Shayne’s shoulder. He couldn’t get out any of the sobs that had come so vigorously in the dream. “Scared.”

“Of what, of what?”

Charlie shook his head, just once, before it was lanced through with pain from his left temple. He winced loudly. “I – I-I can’t – can’t remember.”

“Was it Charlie Two?”

Charlie could have sworn he heard, or sensed, Charlie Two chuckling at that.

“No, no, Charlie Two was there, but…” Guilt fluttered in Charlie’s ribcage, like he was telling tales about someone when they hadn’t done anything wrong. “It was something else. It was – it was dark, but – but bright at the same time, and –”

Charlie scrunched up his face against Shayne’s shoulder, trying to stifle a gag before it could set in. The fuzzy black edges and cold tidal pull from the dream seemed to seep back towards him. The pain in his temple had crept down to his eye, and his stomach was swirling like the water had swirled against his legs in the dream. 

He felt a gurgle in his throat. “Shayne?”

“Mmm?”

“I feel sick.”

He had forgotten that he’d taken a plastic bowl from downstairs in case Shayne had needed it, until he felt Shayne shift his weight and lean across to get it. Charlie sat back a bit so the bowl would fit between them, still basically sitting in Shayne’s lap like a trembling child.

“Thanks,” Charlie muttered, clinging to the bowl with one hand, and squeezing Shayne’s shoulder with the other so he could remain upright. “So, there was – there was water, and it kept getting higher and higher, and – god, I thought I was g-going to –”

He was cut off by a violent heave from his diaphragm, lowering his head in time to let sticky yellow fluid drip into the plastic bowl. He felt Shayne tip his head against the top of Charlie’s, felt a hand snaking across his back. Charlie puked again with a guttural moan that reminded him of the sensation of trying to scream while not being able to move a muscle. He’d suffered from occasional sleep paralysis for as long as he could remember, but he’d never tried to scream in his sleep before. He gasped for breath as another wave of sick hit the bowl.

“I th-thought I was g-going to die…” Charlie blinked dizzily as he looked at his vomit sitting in the bowl that he’d positioned right under his own face and Shayne’s. He gagged, pressing one hand to his mouth to block out the smell, freeing the other hand so he could pick up the bowl.

“I’ve got it,” Shayne mumbled, taking the bowl and reaching out to put it on the bedside locker. He had also moved a fist to cover his mouth, and he closed his eyes as soon as he wasn’t in danger of knocking the bowl over.

Charlie’s heart dropped when he saw that nauseated expression. “Th-that was disgusting, I’m –”

“Sshh.” Shayne shook his head, probably in annoyance. “Here, lie back down.”

“Am I h-hurting your legs?”

“No, but you’re shaking and I’m worried you’re going to fall off the bed.”

Charlie carefully slid back onto his side of the mattress, though his legs stayed somewhat entangled with Shayne’s as they both laid their heads on the pillow. Charlie’s heart felt like it was going to break his ribs if it pounded any harder.

“Think you can sleep again?” Shayne asked uncertainly. “It’s getting bright, but you can probably get another hour or so.”

“Maybe,” Charlie sighed. His head throbbed ominously, and he buried his face a little harder against the pillow, creeping closer to Shayne’s shoulder. “I just really don’t want to have any more dreams like that.”

“You won’t. I’ll eat them if they come close.”

Charlie let out a laugh that was more like a sigh after it made it past the mess in his chest and throat, the aftermath of screaming and throwing up.

“Thank you,” he said, his voice sincere despite knowing it was a joke. He breathed deeply, lungs spasming as they recovered from the panic. “Shayne, this – this is a bit weird, but if you’re feeling okay, can I put my head on your stomach?”

“Um. Okay?” Shayne paused a second before starting to adjust the blanket. “Only if you promise not to wake up screaming again.”

Charlie let out a small moan of self-pity and contentment as he curled up with his head against the wide front pocket of the hoodie that he’d let Shayne borrow. His eyes fluttered shut as Shayne’s hand smoothed over his hair, fingertips lingering softly over the ache in the left side of his skull. 

[enterthesmosh]

Could you please do 26 and 28 with Shayne?

Word Count: 737“You’re a mess. You can’t survive on coffee alone.” .. “Watch me.”“ The little hole in my chest can easily be filled by comfort food.”

There are days the tiredness comes in both forms, physical and mental. Your body needs to rest yet your mind needs it to move, to burn the anxiety right out. Without exercise your mind will keep you up all night long, without rest your body will spiral into exhaustion. Somehow, both places had come crashing into one another and no matter what you did or how hard you tried it was beginning to feel impossible to truly find any rest or peace inside your own mind or body.

Sleep was hard.

Relaxation harder still.

So, you turned to coffee and more frequent trips to the gym in an attempt to keep yourself awake and focused. That was easier said than done, however. Sitting in the office, surrounded by everyone talking and laughing, it was beginning to feel as if energy was being constantly drained out of you, as though you were leaking electricity. With a shake of your head, you grabbed your cup of coffee from the table - how many was this for the day? You lost count an hour ago - and took a long sip.

Almost as if by magic, the room dispersed quickly and when you looked back up Shayne was still sitting beside you at the table looking at you cautiously. “Can I help you?” you asked softly, setting down your mug and turning back to the laptop in front of you. Out of your periferary, you could see him swiveling in his chair as if the movement would help dislodge whatever words he was looking for.

“You want to go get lunch? You’ve been sat here all day, you must be hungry.”

You shook your head, “M’okay.”

After a beat, you reached for your coffee again and took another long sip as you looked over an email that had just come in. “Y/N,” Shayne sighed, “You’re a mess. You can’t survive on coffee alone.” It took a moment for his words to actually reach your brain. Part of you thought to be offended that he called you a mess, but you’d seen yourself in the mirror that morning. You were looking a little haggard. 

“Watch me,” you replied, taking a long drink from your cup - emptying it.

He was silent for a while, pulling out his phone, and you’d assumed he’d given up on bothering you so that you could get back to work. That thought was dashed some time later when the door to the office opened, Damien strolled in, set down a bag, and walked back out. You looked up for a moment, curiously, but when Shayne began unpacking food you assumed he had just asked Damien to bring him his lunch. As you went back to your laptop, a hand came down and closed it in front of you.

You made an indignant noise and looked up to see Shayne sliding the laptop away with one hand and holding what looked to be a foil wrapped burrito in the other out in your direction. “Take it,” he said firmly, waving the food slightly. With a sigh, you snatched the burrito from him and slumped back in your chair as you unwrapped it.

“Any reason you’ve replaced meals with caffeine?” Shayne asked as he grabbed his own food.

Shrugging, you took a small bite, “My brain is… I don’t know. It’s been rough lately and caffeine is a more effective fix that other things. It’s not like I haven’t been eating, though. I’ve just… not been feeling like eating a lot.”

Shayne nodded as he took a bite of his own burrito and listened to you talk. It was always easy to talk to Shayne about things that were bothering you. He’d become a sort of confidant since you’d met, but lately you couldn’t bring yourself to say much of anything to anyone. The way your brain was running and the slight empty feeling in the center of your chest made that more difficult than usual.

In almost silence, the two of you ate your lunch together. Just as you finished your burrito, Shayne wordlessly slid another one across the table towards you which made you chuckle lowly. “Apparently, I was wrong,” you said, taking it and unwrapping the foil.

He hummed softly, “About what?”

“The little hole in my chest can easily be filled by comfort food,” you grinned before taking an obnoxiously large bite - making Shayne laugh fondly.