#i did go back and reread the whole thing recently and i still think that that mm section is some of the best writing ive ever done

[camgoloud]

[me, trying to make a wildly specific character playlist] god does no one write any songs about what it feels like to be that one fucking horrible person with repeatedly demonstrated traitorous tendencies who nonetheless deep down secretly really wants to be the kind of man who stays loyal to the protagonist’s noble cause these days?

[burrythebusy]

I love going back to reread hrkg because I just learn something new every time even without the influence of the recent chapter. I particularly love analyzing Kagiura’s character. His view on love and romance and family and marriage was just so interesting before. It was so innocent, meaning he didn't think of it any more or any less than just "I get to stay with him, only me". Like that's not the average thought for a crush. And Niibashi tells him that, he's like do you even view him romantically, or do you simply just wanna keep him close? It could be interpreted as so many things. Like aroace spec hrkg is such a real interpretation.

And it gets me even more when I view it in reference to his past relationship. Like his most Romantic™ action ("What lovers do") is a lap pillow. Because she was his girlfriend and that was the reason given for it. We're dating so this is something that people thay are dating do. So his middle school self is like oh okay. And it happens and he's stiff. And he doesn't think it feels right. And that follows him to high school bc if we're dating and this is something people that are dating do, why doesn't it feel right? But yes. That's literally it. That's as romantic as it goes for him until Niibashi mentions kissing. Which he didn't even think about. He claims it's an influence of never really seeing his parents kiss. His view on love IS his parents. It's influenced by those around him (ooh). But it's also because marriage is supposed to mean you're in love. And his parents are in love and act like best friends and rarely kiss so that's what the young Kagiura thinks of love to be like.

Now I don't know what influenced him to get with his girlfriend per se. Because (!!light novel stuff!!) I think it's implied that his view of love and marriage comes after his girlfriend, not before, which would make sense considering his relationship didn't work out. It also makes sense if it came before. Because why did it start? I genuinely think that he might have liked, and i think that's what was said. But i think he liked her as a friend, and he's expected to get with girls, and if his view on marriage was getting started at any point then. That's literally a prerequisite. A relationship like best friends. So he dates her and it just doesn't feel right. And it could've been because he treated the whole relationship like a friendship with a different label which wasnt what his girlfriend wanted. And then the one "traditionally romantic" thing that comes along, close physical contact, still doesn't feel right.

Going off of context clues here. It's safe to say they never kiss or even hold hands really. It's probably the only thing they ever did, the lap pillow. It's what Kagiura thinks about when he thinks of romance and what lovers do because it's the one thing he failed to FEEL right about. And if he liked her. Why didn't he?

Obviously everything isn't surface level either, on one surface. Because Kagiura’s personality comes into play too. There's probably more to be said about his politeness, how we don't see him really challenge anybody on what they say (except Hirano for obvious reasons). If his girlfriend said dating -> lap pillow then he's gonna say okay. Sure. Even if he's unsure about it. But we don't get much of his personality from then. We only know this snippet, and the fact that it bothers him.

But we also know WHY it bothers him after ch. 6 and 7, and in 16a. Kagiura doesn't think about kissing Hirano because his view on love and romance is limited to how his parents show it, and how his ex girlfriend showed it. He hasn't developed it on his own yet, at least not consciously. He likely never kissed his girlfriend (and if he did it doesn't stick with him at all since the first thing he thinks about is literally the lap pillow) and he doesn't see his parents kiss so Niibashi asks him about kissing hirano and he's like "idk lol". Hence why, does he even like Hirano romantically? (And though you can be in a romantic relationship without kissing, the question still remains as to how he sees his feelings for Hirano, considering how juvenile they seem*)

But the difference here is that, without thinking about it, Hirano and Kagiura were becoming best friends. Kagiura didn't go into friendship with Hirano thinking he's a love interest the same way he might have with his girlfriend. Hirano treated him really well and they developed this natural thing and Kagiura started to develop a natural Kagiura version of a crush. But still, every action after that wasn't with the deliberate intention of his outlook on love. It remained natural. So that "prerequisite" was already fulfilled (and honestly, it could easily be viewed separate of how he sees romance from his parents. Again, it all happens so naturally and easily for him).

So in chapter 6, he thinks about what Niibashi said more and then the urge comes. To kiss Hirano. The first time he's probably thought about kissing anyone. So it's already an outlier to how he views romance anyway because kissing never had to be a part of it but now it is. BUT WAIT THERES MORE!

Because next he decides to indulge in something he can easily call back to. His girlfriend and their experience. People that date do lap pillows. How would that feel with someone I'm in love with, someone I now know I want to kiss? And I truly don't think he expected much from it because of his experience of not really liking it. Of it being "off". But Hirano lies in his lap and his mind blanks. And then he lies in Hirano's lap and he can't do it. Not because it feels off or wrong. But because he felt too much. A LOT in that moment. Cue his sexual and sexuality awakening/crisis. It literally scares him out of being NEAR Hirano for extended periods of time. Out of touching him. Because this new attraction is foreign to him. He now actively wants to touch him, actively wants to kiss him and at this point he already knew hirano doesn't see him that way so what do you do?

Then 16a comes. They're starting to touch for ten seconds a day because Hirano said he would try, and Kagiura’s largest guilty pleasure is literally just physical contact. Particularly with Hirano. Which he used to do so casually but can't bring himself to. So he asks hirano when it's okay and they agree to ten seconds.

To me, this is when he comes to terms with the fact that he never romantically liked his girlfriend in the first place. Because he knows hirano isn't in love with him at this point despite Hirano agreeing to try. He knows what they feel is different. Which is exactly what happened with his girlfriend. That's why he's afraid he was making Hirano feel how he felt with his girlfriend back then. Uncomfortable. "Off". And when I view it in context I always come to the conclusion that he didn't like her (let alone love her). This may not be his first relationship but it is his first love.

All this to say... literally nothing. I just love digging into Kagiura’s character, how his past does end up influencing the present in really subtle ways. I mean think about it, he feels so guilty for wanting to touch Hirano that he limits himself to the ten seconds. Like every time before chapter 14 that they touched just because (locking arms, holding his shirt or his wrist just to grab onto him, that natural gravitation) is just gone. Because now he loves someone who doesn't love him so how could he possibly put the pressure on him to touch him in the same way? He gave away his right to do that. But it hurts him. (And it hurts Hirano too). Another problem. But that guilt doesn't come from nowhere. He doesn't want Hirano to feel how he felt with his girlfriend. He doesn't want to make him uncomfortable or push his physical boundaries and make himself a sad memory in Hirano's high school years.

Kagiura is experiencing this extent of love and a crush for the first time. He lied in his girlfriends lap hesitantly but did it because they were dating and didn't like it. And I feel like a great fear of his is making Hirano feel that way too. So he wants Hirano to feel the same way desperately without pushing the physical boundary that has once made him feel unsure and weird. He loves Hirano so much that he'll limit himself as much as he can bear in this process. (Which, isn't the greatest thing. It's almost contradictory). But that's his experience. That's how he's letting it influence him. And it's so interesting to me.

Erm this is long anyway I love doing Kagiura character study. Obviously this is my interpretation and how I view his character to be. And we are all influenced by our environment in the end, especially those that have an important place in our lives (hint hint wink wink iykyk) but some people still build their own wants and desires with that as a foundation. Kagiura took his parents as the blueprint itself. THE guide, THE directions. So now I think he's on a journey of defining love for himself too.

[stealingyourbones]

Question! I have been getting into DC comics cuz of dpxdc, and I saw your tags on frank Miller on a recent post. One of my irl friends told me to read the dark knight returns and while it was occasionally hard to follow I assumed that was a result of when it was written rather than who wrote it? But I did overall enjoy it.

I guess what I'm asking is why you say frank Miller is a bad writer when it seems like the dark knight returns was so acclaimed?

(I saw the nazi thing too but that's something I can google so while it's news to me it's not my main question)

ok so. A lot of this is my personal opinion and I'm not too equipped to say shit about this because I'm not very political but I'm going to give it my best shot. Put under a cut so folks who don't want to hear about comic ranting can simply scroll past

I’m just gonna write a quick thing for the Nazi stuff, He isn't exactly a Nazi but boy oh boY does he set off many warning flags. Frank Miller is also the writer of the comic 300, if that sounds familiar that's because the movie you're probably thinking of is indeed based off these comics. The Spartan's ideology helped create the baselines of Fascism. Fascism is a pretty leading cause of commentary in Frank Millers work. In Batman: The Dark Knight he is a fascist. In Hard Boiled there's swastikas in the background every so often. (I even went back to reread it just to make sure and yep. they definitely were there) In 300 there's a shitton of Fascism... I could go on but still. His comics are incredibly gorey, have a discussion about a world gone wrong that can only be changed using force and weaponry (the whole Dark Knight "I am a surgeon" monologue for example), and the fact that he has Fascism as the main point of nearly all of the comics he's written... it doesn't sit right with me and it's a consistent pattern.

Now, onto the bad writing. I must firstly preface that these are my own opinions and that I didn't grow up reading Frank Miller's work. I think he was a good writer but isn't one anymore. His writing did incredible things for DC and you can see his influence in Batman even today. Works I've read and enjoyed of his are: Daredevil, Batman Year One, and Dark Knight. Nowadays you'll see many folks like myself talk about how Frank Miller has fallen off the deep end. A vast majority of Frank Miller's comics have reoccurring themes: politics, fascism, extreme violence, and so so much weaponry. Politics is in every comic book. There is no unpolitical comic, there ARE comics that are batshit wild with their politics and that's what I'm talking about. I'll get back to this later. He wrote many good comics, ones that first come to mind are Daredevil , Wolverine, Batman: Dark Knight, Batman: Year One, Sin City, Ronin, and 300. All of these comics are still credited by folks as amazing comics and hell, I recommend folks to read them go and check them out. Then 9/11 happened. That along with rampant alcoholism. Those reoccurring themes I mentioned? They become exponentially more blatant in his works. Especially on the political angle. You can see the difference between his works from pre and post 9/11. If you read Dark Knight and Dark Knight 2 back to back. It's night and day. He even made a comic during the post 9/11 panic called Holy Terror. The comic's title was originally pitched as Holy Terror, Batman! with the Gotham hero himself as the main character but it swiftly denied by DC, denied being published by DC, and changed to what it is now. The basic plot of this comic: A Vigilante named The Fixer fights Al-Qaeda after attacking Empire City. He doesn't even mention the word Al-Qaeda until 80 pages into a 150 page comic. The comic is some INCREDIBLY blatant post 9/11 propaganda that's ridiculously Islamophobic and anti-muslim. That isn't even my opinion, Frank Miller has said that's what this comic was. It is scattered with a ridiculous amount of hate speech written by a hate fueled man in 2007. Now onto comics that you'd more likely read. All Star Batman and Robin (2005). Oh boy. Let's compare shall we? Batman Dark Knight Returns (1986)

All Star Batman & Robin, The Boy Wonder #1 (2005)

mind you this is as Dick is being driven to GCPD for questioning RIGHT AFTER HIS PARENTS DIED. He gets kidnapped by Bruce out of the police car. Not calmed in his arms after the murder and brought to the manor. Kidnapped. All Star Batman & Robin, The Boy Wonder #2 (2005)

( a brief intermission of this sickass pose of a shirtless Alfred Pennyworth comforting Vicky Vale)

now back to the kidnapping:

[Skipping Bruce getting chased by the GCPD, Jumping the Batmobile ONTOP of a GCPD car, and laughing and talking to his car all the while Dick is absolutely terrified. They then use boosters that propel the Batmobile into the sky.]

Smashcut to #4 where they actually enter the Batcave.

I don't even think I need to explain myself. This is Spider-Man: One More Day levels of mischaracterization. Like seriously. Bruce kidnapping Dick after his parents were killed? Calling him a retard and hitting him during the aftermath (we can go on about how in 2005, the r slur was used commonly but this was just out of pocket), Leaving him in the cold batcave and told to eat rats? Frank Miller used to write some incredible works. Nowadays his writing is as decent as Rob Liefeld's art.

[hier--soir]

feb + mar + apr reads

norma jean baker of troy by anne carson [★★★★★]

"Sometimes I think language should cover its own eyes when it speaks."

"Is she human? Are you? Is she a beast out of control? There's so much danger. No human can become just a beast, you plunge beyond - beyond what? Remember Jack the Ripper? 'I'm down on whores and I shan't quit ripping them till I get buckled,' Jack wrote in a letter to the newspaper, September 18, 1888. He never did get buckled. Of course insane, his mind blooming with it, who could go down that rabbit-hole or unlock such a puzzle as Jack? - but still, the woman! the thing is! the woman has everything and you smile and you take some."

: ̗̀➛ an exploration of the lives and myths of marilyn monroe and helen of troy.

: ̗̀➛ anne carson is there anything you can't do? please email me back. please.

piglet by lottie hazell [★★★★]

"'I want to make some food,' she said. 'For both of us?' he asked. 'No, just for me.'"

: ̗̀➛ one woman, piglet, and the lead up to her wedding in the face of a big confession from her fiancé.

: ̗̀➛ this one slipped beneath my skin and writhed around the spot inside me where i've tucked away all of my food issues.

merciless gods by christos tsiolkas [★★]

"I'm scared that if I let go, not only the room, not only this city, but the whole world will go cold forever."

"Your false gods cannot save you. There is only one God, my God."

: ̗̀➛ short stories that bash you over the head with how awful things and people and places can be. i did not live for this one... particularly wasn't into the one where a guy jerked his dad who has alzheimers off.

foe by iain reid [★★]

"All day. Time keeps moving. I've always thought that was a good thing. Until recently. I'm not so sure now. Is it good? For time to go by fast?"

: ̗̀➛ they want to send junior to space and replace him with a robot that looks and acts and talks exactly like him so his wife has company in his absence.

: ̗̀➛ marriage and trust and complacency, and a guy called terrence who we get reminded over and over has long gorgeous hair.

: ̗̀➛ a little boring for my taste. i had an idea of where it was going pretty early on, and it took a while for me to be proven right. pretty disconcerting!

acts of desperation by megan nolan [★★★★]

"The need was a true and human part of me, but I could feel nothing else of myself to be true or human, and so the need seemed ungodly, an aberration."

: ̗̀➛ a book full of confession, desire, jealousy, violence, and power. messy messy messy!!!! readers procceed with caution.

: ̗̀➛ shout out to everyone who said i should read this - you were right, it is up my alley.

gone girl by gillian flynn [★★★★]

"My wife was no longer my wife but a razor-wire knot daring me to unloop her, and I was not up to the job with my thick, numb, nervous fingers. Country fingers. Flyover fingers untrained in the intricate, dangerous work of solving Amy. When I'd hold up the bloody stumps, she'd sigh and turn to her secret mental notebook on which she tallied all my deficiencies, forever noting disappointments, frailties, shortcomings."

: ̗̀➛ i have become a gillian flynn STAN this year, it's true. despite having seen the movie multiple times, i enjoyed reading this, and was delighted to find some differences in the texts [for better and for worse].

: ̗̀➛ nick dunne, big fan of the lie of omission, mama's boy whose mama is dead, i'd like to introduce you to couples therapy.

dead beautiful and life eternal by yvonne woon [reread] [★★★]

: ̗̀➛ the first two books in a paranormal romance trilogy. these kinda bang guys, i can't lie. 15-year-old me was onto something when she decided to keep these instead of donating them. however, they DO have some of the worst book covers i've ever seen, sorry yvonne.

fourth wing by rebecca yarros [★★★]

: ̗̀➛ a romantasy book that has dragons, smut, and twists that you'll see coming from a mile away. pretty fun. recced to me by one man in person and a thousand women on tik tok.

: ̗̀➛ no one who has the thought 'double standards for the win' is using 'whomever' in a casual sentence with the guy she's having sex with.

: ̗̀➛ good enemies to lovers should have actual murder attempts. but maybe that's jusT MY OPINION.

my book rating system is as follows:

★ = i felt pure contempt the entire time

★★ = yeah it's a book

★★★ = i liked it!

★★★★ = good fucking book, damn

★★★★★ = blew my dick clean off and i'll throw a tantrum if everyone i know doesn't also read it and love it

[nights-at-crystarium]

Fragments - episodes 41-46 author notes

You can find similar breakdown posts on older episodes in my pinned!

Get comfy and reread with me the finale of the Il Mheg arc and the intro of a certain loser.

First off, I wanna emphasize how important this arc’s for Vivi. Had he not liked Il Mheg in general and Feo Ul in particular, the rest of the story would play out very differently, and not in favor of the sundered. His initial positive impression of the First is pretty much the only thing that saves it.

We've reached a high, physically and emotionally. You know what that means, as per the shb rollercoaster rule :>

Pan pride pixie blesses Thancred, ca. 2024, colorized. I accidentally gave them the pan colors but hey it works. ALSO! Stars in his eyes.

Re: distant nightmare, I’ll let you in on a secret, or a third party perspective if you will. Vivi's full of shit, he's too focused on the big picture. He’s narrating this whole story, but his perspective is, well, just that.

Initially this was Vivi's inner monologue, then I thought that I should just let them talk, and it wrote itself.

More under the cut~

Drawing a buncha vivi-lookalikes that act soooooorta but not really like him, just slightly off, was a surprisingly fun exercise.

Luckily for Thancred, though, he sniffs out the pixie magic, and knows better than indulging them.

...Still, what a shitty fucked up day. Sorry, Thancred :’>

This here’s an example of a moment where I’m uncertain if I’m being too subtle and if this flies over some readers’ heads. He refers to Alisaie’s “job” of dragging Vivi back to msq, which she recently started lowkey dreading (episodes 32-33)

...Though she goes back to her “duty” in episode 43.

She's pointedly SILENT throughout the episode, doing her best to hold back.

Thancred's a man who can say no to begging dogs.

Gridania mention! Vivi’s gridanian! He never speaks ill of the elementals, he's wary of them even a world apart.

This pixie's life is something Feo Ul's willing to sacrifice. Episodes 42-43 tell this story in reverse order, yes this’s the pixie that was supposed to agree with Thancred and go with the Scions to the Crystarium.

As to why there’s a dozen of vivis popping up as a backup: they needed just one fake Vivi to go with the Scions, but try organizing the pixies. Their plan’s already failed when this first pixie-Vivi refused to play their part.

“Yeah no, our guy’s special, but not as special as to explode in confetti”

I love his first ingame appearance in that Varis cutscene, this moment has similar energy: barely enters the stage, instantly gets impaled on a long object. This’s not foreshadowing, no, why would you think that-

The “camera” is perfectly still, there’s even some symmetry, demonstrating how calm and prepared Emet is. He didn’t expect much and he’s still disappointed.

This’s a super old comic. I spent the first half of 2022 testing and trying to find a style for Fragments, back then I had no plans, none, zero, absolutely no interest to give Emet a role bigger than a mention. The earliest version of the script had very few Emet scenes, which, looking back on it, was gonna be a disservice to his character. Well, that changed rapidly in late 2023 when I fell for him so hard that I broke my neck, and now I look back on a lot of what I did with Vivi with new eyes. THE EYEROLL. After spending two years developing a guy for a fun wolgraha chemistry (at the same time I was perfectly aware that Exarch and Emet are foils. I made a foil for Exarch, what on earth did I expect-), I’m going through a mindblow after mindblow as I realize HOW GOOD VIVI IS FOR EMET (and vice versa ofc) and how many things they have in common. This wasn’t always the case, Vivi just gradually got more cynical, tired, ✨grey✨ and everything else that makes a guy consider hitting it with The Other Old Man.

They’re off to a great start.

From Emet’s pov, this must really hurt, as in how many other shards of Azem might’ve snarled at him like this. Even though he must be numb to it by now, who says that there isn’t the tiniest flicker of hope when he approaches yet another not-Azem. He may deny and hate and try to snuff out that spark, but the fatal Soulmate Magnet keeps doing its thing.

Parallels to episode 2.

Apparently, Vivi’s first reaction to encountering his to-be-most-prominent boyfriends is to attack them somehow.

This’s really, REALLY dumb of him, and he even comments on it shortly after. But yes, his isekai tale in the First was rather pleasant just until now, and it lulled him into the false sense of security. OF COURSE there are ascians everywhere, not just on the Source. Vivi just forgor.

Emet tests Vivi's reactions to insults/being treated as a lesser, silliness, flirt.

I regret to inform you that both Vivi and Alisaie have been disarmed so easily. The tone quickly shifts, the weapon’s lowered.

Alisaie makes bad puns/jokes in canon, I thought it'd fit if she laughed at that kinda jokes too, and in the least fitting situations, to top it off. Alphinaud’s disappointed, even if he can hardly be called an expert in humor.

“It’s up to you”. Emet stops fooling around, assuming a more serious tone. He may not respect Vivi or his agency here, but he provides him with a choice that's guaranteed to give him some trust points, and uses "we" for an illusion of unity/equality, a not really subtle nudge towards cooperation, it's not me vs you anymore, it's "us".

Whether Vivi picks up on the manipulation or not remains to be seen, but Emet gets his way here.

Forgive me this lil tangent, but I’m so giddy and excited to write Emet. If Exarch’s decently emotionally intelligent but still obtuse at times, Vivi’s a tier or two above him, he’s not a stranger to manipulation, he registers it being used on him, and doesn’t hesitate to use it too when it suits his fancy. He's quite good at people-ing. Emet, though, Emet’s THE emotional intelligence personified. He’s had literal thousands of years to practice, he leaves everyone else in the dust in this regard. It’s daunting but so exciting to write him, I hope to do him justice.

Let’s just talk.

𝓛𝓮𝓽’𝓼 𝓳𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓽𝓪𝓵𝓴.

Mark this moment, remember this line for meme value. If these last words aren't famous yet, they WILL become that when we see what they talk their way into <w<

Yes I'm going all in on tragic irony of Emet's situation.

Accidental Emet rp, with the hunching over and all. Or maybe Vivi already unwittingly mirrors him. Or maybe he always did- *kicked and dumped in the trash bin*

Man. I'm guilty of enjoying drawing Vivi in genuine distress. He’s so fun when he’s agitated.

Hidden Angst Time! It's all hehe haha until you realize that this might be a product of the hectic wol lifestyle forcing him to speedrun his emotions like this. Either speedrun, or be left with no opportunity to process them at all.

Also, the sandwiches! The framing’s deliberate, they’re on the foreground all the time, and Vivi only notices them in the very last panel.

I! Love! This! Face!!!!!! A rare neutral, relaxed, thoughtful face, he isn't performing for anyone here.

Nevermind Ardbert getting brutally ignored here x’D

The fact that a guy that Vivi had briefly considered as partner material shut himself away in the Crystal Tower for what could be the rest of his life has stuck with Vivi for good. Or should I say for bad. He might not necessarily care about ARRRaha, still it upsets him that he kissed someone who practically killed himself some days later.

I recently talked a lil more about the Bitchless Liar. This’s how Vivi remembers him forever, take it or leave it. But hey, this cool Exarch guy has big balls probably <- in-universe hc \o/

This episode taught me to draw BREAD.

Even though Exarch’s been nothing but sweet so far, one thing’s to acknowledge a fact with your brain, another thing’s to wrestle with your trauma and paranoia that have all rights to exist and fester. Ever since HW Vivi doesn’t accept food and drinks from anyone except the few trusted sources. This isn’t really covered in this episode, but hopefully hinted at just enough.

He takes a leap of faith. Or maybe he’s simply sick and tired of living Like This. Maybe sandwiches kill him, and he doesn’t really mind. And, when they don’t, he goes through a visible shift in attitude towards Exarch, as we’re able to see in the following episodes.

This’s all I’ve got for now, thanks for reading till the end~

[becca-e-barnes]

Beccaaa, I'm missing darkbestfriend!bucky so much, could you spoil me, please?

Okay, hear me out. I've had SUCH a fantasy recently about those aphrodisiac supplements and how much fun they could be. I've never tried them but I've been looking into them this week and it's on my list of things to do this year 👀

I'm soooo convinced these would be right up darkbestfriend!bucky's street and he'd turn it into a bit of a game.

"Are you sure you want to try these? I don't know if you can handle them. They're pretty intense." He's watching you with a hint of a smirk on his lips, pretty confident he knows your answer before you even say it. "You know what the rules are. We take one each and you have to sit there like a good girl. You can't touch me and I can't touch you. Whoever gives in first loses."

This isn't a game you think you'll be awfully good at but you're happy to lose this one.

"Got it. Give me one." You haven't always been known for your patience but being direct pays off this time. You take a capsule each, chasing it with some water.

The first little while is easy enough. You go back to reading your book and Bucky refocuses his attention on the show he was watching.

It builds slowly. You notice the heat first, originating at the base of your spine, fizzling outwards. Within a few minutes you feel it right to your fingertips but it's still bearable.

Bearable until the dull throb settles deep inside you. You feel your sex tightening and releasing and you've got no control over the flutters of arousal that have taken over your body. Fuck, you're wet. You have no idea how but you can feel it already when you press your thighs together beneath the skirt of your dress.

The heat building in your body creeps higher. You find yourself rereading the same sentence of your book over and over and you still have no idea what the hell it said. You need to cool down. Or touch yourself. Since the latter is banned, you settle for taking your jacket off, laying it neatly on the bed.

"Holy fuck, that's cheating." Bucky sounds more than a little strained, his eyes trained on the exposed neckline of your dress and your bare shoulders. "Fuck it, you win."

Within a second you feel his lips are on yours, his body slotting on top of you and this is exactly what you need. His hand trails up the inside of your thighs, groaning against your lips when he finds what he's looking for.

"Jesus, you soaked through your panties." He can't slow down. Not that you want him to. There's a desperation in you both that you'd quite happily drown in, given the chance.

Your clothes fall into a heap on the floor, along with his and although you've hardly even touched him he's rock hard and throbbing; his tip leaking precum that he smears over the slick folds of your cunt.

It's never felt like this before. You're so sensitive, you can do nothing but whimper. You don't know what you need him to do but you know you need more.

"Bucky please. Oh God, please fuck me. I-I can't..." You press your hips up off the bed, hoping to achieve whatever it is that you need but you have no such luck.

"Is this what you want?" He's overconfident, slapping his length against the softest part of your body, enjoying the obscene sounds.

As soon as you nod, he slides himself into your body, almost sobbing at the feeling of you around him. Despite all his teasing, he's convinced he needed this even more than you did.

The first few thrusts feel insane in the very best way. You can't stop yourself from moaning and you certainly can't help the way you try to meet his hips with your own, ensuring he's as deep inside you as possible.

"You've gotta be quiet, honey. Whole damn street can hear you getting fucked like a desperate slut." He's right but you're surprised he cares. "Open that pretty mouth."

You do as you're told, waiting for him to fill your mouth with his fingers or maybe spit in it but you weren't expecting him to set your own heavy, wet panties on your waiting tongue. "Gonna get you addicted to the way you taste. Just like I am." He keeps his hand clamped over your lips, his hips stuttering while he pumps you full of his cum but that doesn't mean he's finished. Not even close.

[browniefox]

I asked for fic recs so it only makes sense that I provide some.

The Invisible Stan by The Last Speecher (HeidiMelone)

Simple, short, but elegant. You know how hanahaki disease is a trope? I feel like this should be a trope, but idk what you'd call it - Ninny disease sounds bad, but like it's clearly based off of Ninny from the Moomins. Anyway, great fic <3

An Outreached Hand by WDW

Ghost trick au! Love a good ghost trick au! I reread this recently and it still holds up so well, still so good even if unfinished. Haven't played ghost trick since, some of the twists make a hair more sense - especially the twist in the last chapter posted and being like 'OH IT'S *THE* GHOST TRICK'. Shoutout to undead creepiness and cute kitties :3

Retrograde by scrawling_stardumb

Kissing this one on the mouth. Only one chapter and unfinished, but it's a long chapter and really makes you go 'whoa'. It's interesting because the summary *technically* gives you more info than the chapter itself, but it's that kind of dramatic irony that fits the writing so well. A good solid McGucket POV too, which there really isn't enough of. Tbh, it stands okay almost as a one shot? I wish this became a whole popular au like all the others, bc it kicks ass as a concept.

Finding the Right Frequency by impish_nature

A pretty cute one! Ford trying to figure out how to deal with Bill, and Stan having found a stable job, and someow their two worlds intersect. Cute moments between the two, and some good Stans getting to reconnect.

Things You Can't Take Back by thesnadger

Classic by the Snadger! I always appreciate people who take Stan's memory less and make it more complicated, or at least have there be aftershocks to have your whole life erased :D So well written.

like they were a perfect fit by hapful

Stanford Pines and the photo he never looses. A beautiful story about Ford throughout the ages and his opnions on family, specifically Stan.

putting the dog to sleep by parsnipit

Old Yeller is such a sad story, and also some of this made me think of Mice and Men, and ugh just Stan and Ford and beign willing to kill something you love - sometimes because you love it - and it's such a perfect analogy to them I could die.

none of those phds is an md, you dumb idiot by untrustworthyglitch

I always love a fic that acknowledges language barriers. It reminds me of a really old fic where I did something similar, but like, being away from Earth would lead to you forgetting a lot of things, including language.

Too Late, Too Soon, Not Enough by IncomingAlbatross

Ah, gotta love a good fic that shows the missing scene of Ford and Stan switching places. Who came up with the idea? Who needed to be convinced? What swears do they get to use while off camera? Stan I love you so much, and Ford I lov eyou for beig nso complicated.

Raising Stakes by MaryPSue

Mwah! A Classic if I've ever seen one! While I'm partial to werewolf!Stan, Vampire!Stan does have so much potential and MaryPSue puts it to use so well! A great look into what Gravity Falls was like back in taht time period, and I love when people utilize Susan in fics that take place pre-portal <3 Also, Carla! I miss you so much Carla <3 It's drama, it's action, it's everything!

Lost and Found by PengyChan

Tate & Fiddleford have a lot of untapped potential, and while I think going the angst route makes a lot of sense, this one is almost more fluff and catharsis, I guess? I love it, near and dear to me.

Off-Season by anistarrose

Time Travel fic, but not a timestuck au? More likely than you think! A cute oneshot with particular focus on Stan, Mabel, and Dipper. Just a fluffy little thing with a couple strangers helping Stan out through a difficult winter.

Persist and Dwell by fencesit

A bit of Soos's trust in Grunkle Stan, and a mystery that isn't so much mystery as it is simply just not explicitly said. One of the final scenes has still stuck with me, and this is defo a concept I'd love to see explored more.

flee from your ghosts (burn your house down) by thepolysyndetonaddictsupportgroup

While typically OTGW x Gravity Falls crossovers are, like, Pinescone, I'm partial to this version where Wirt is their dad. There'a few details that didn' sit well with me, but over all so incredible and well written. Some of the metaphors are just so evocative I could eat them. The descriptions are to die for. And I love the depiction of a dad struggling to get his kids to open up to him that feels like it's part dads struggle with teens and part those pines twins just won't tell the truth.

If you have any Gravity Falls fic recs, feel free to comment them!

[zombie-bait]

Omg i just realized I have something tiny to add to the whole James Somerton debacle. I'm currently watching the hbombguy vid (as you do when procrastinating assignments) and I remembered something that stood out to me in James' old videos.

So I used to be a fan of his stuff. I am also a fan of Hannibal and IWTV. He made a video covering both so naturally I was very hyped. It was called 'The Gay Appeal of Toxic Love.' The vid itself was fine (I don't remember having any super strong opinions of it besides being excited to hear ppl mention Interview cuz I had recently become obsessed) but one thing did stand out to me. In the IWTV section he mentions Nicki and, naturally, his death:

"After becoming a vampire, Nicky becomes nearly catatonic, and eventually slips away from Lestat entirely. And after centuries of dealing with depression and severe mental illness, Nicky kills himself."

(sourced from this transcript: https://github.com/TerraJRiley/James_Somerton_Transcripts/blob/main/Transcripts/The%20Gay%20Appeal%20of%20Toxic%20Love.txt)

To anyone who's read TVL, I don't think I need to explain that Nicki had not, in fact, been around for centuries. "Nicki had lived to be 30" has been rattling around in my head since I first read it.

And like, obviously I don't expect every youtube essayist to read several long-ish novels to have a full grasp of the series' deep lore, especially when the focus was largely on IWTV and Loustat rather than the entire Vampire Chronicles. Still, it makes you wonder a bit about the quality of the research being done here. You can find the proper info in like, 5 seconds by just going on the fan wiki so I'm not sure what his sources were. And that's the issue at hand, isn't it?

At the time I felt a tiny bit smug recognizing the error but in light of everything that's been revealed, it's kind of telling. I'm not saying this part was plagiarized (I haven't found anything but others on reddit have found issues with different sections of the same video) but rereading the transcript it comes off as someone who clearly doesn't know much about Interview.... It feels like he's reading through a loose summary of plot points rather than analyzing a piece of media that actually means anything to him. It's very much Interview for people who don't know Interview which, one could argue is fair. Especially beyond book one, VC is a niche series and a lot of elements that are important to certain characters or plot lines cannot be summarized quickly for an audience unfamiliar with it. A good writer, who's done a lot of research about the specific topic they have chosen to make a video on, would be able to balance this. There is a LOT to analyze about queerness in VC and its a shame to see one of the more popular queer media channels half-assing it just to churn out videos heavily made up of other people's work. In retrospect he had several videos like that, where he would discuss things like manga/manhua communities while clearly having little knowledge on the nuance of those subjects. He was an outsider who presented himself with a strange amount of authority.

This was content created with the sole intention of propping up queer stories and history, yet it's built off stolen work from queer authors and doesn't actually care that much about exploring the communities it features. Vids like the IWTV one weren't really fact checked because it's only people like me who would might give a shit or even notice anything is off in the first place. There's a bit of a similar vibe in some of his other vids where he undermines the experiences of queer women because he clearly has not taken the time to learn about the nuances of representing queer women in media. These are things that irritated me when I first started to notice them but I put those concerns in the back of my mind because I cared about the topics he was covering and was excited to see these discussions becoming more mainstream.

The revelations of this evening have been disappointing to say the least.

(also for the record I know he made other more recent vids about IWTV but I haven't seen those and even if his account was still up I don't think I would lol

BUT

I did look at the transcript for his 'Vampires and the Gays Who Love Them' video (found from the same link I included above) and this quote about the IWTV AMC show is sending me: "Daniel has never grappled with the complexities of being gay"

Shoutout to straight, uncomplicated icon Daniel Molloy. Devil's Minion was a mass hallucination, spread the word)

[fefairys]

I just read up to the breakup with Meenah and Vriska and fuck, i really dislike that whole situation. Got any thoughts you wanna ramble about regarding that?

OKAY I FINALLY GOT HERE IN MY REREAD.

god yes everything involving meenah and (vriska) and the vriska (vriska) confrontation is extremely fascinating to me. mostly because i resonate with a lot of it so hard it hurts. long ass post below. i got very personal lol what can i say. i vriska.

(vriska) goes into people-pleasing mode when she and meenah are alone. it actually reminds me of how she would sometimes act with kanaya. the vulnerability, mainly. but like. its a little different. with kanaya it was more like 'youre the only bitch around here i respect, but im still better than everyone else. i want you to like me but i dont NEED you to! (<-lie)' but with meenah its like 'you are the only person i have and so i have to be good for you so you dont leave me.'

she backs down super easily with meenah. sometimes she does argue for herself, but ultimately she always ends up deferring to meenah. she wants to agree with everything she says. wants her to like her:

^ she doesnt want to say the carnival looks fun until she's gotten meenah's approval. she has to be cool for meenah.

her suggestion gets shot down and she immediately sides with meenah. oh yeah i didnt want to do that anyway in fact i hate horses!

it's tricky, because of some of it seems like actual Character Development, and her getting over some shit. and i definitely think these thinks dont have to be mutually exclusive. she can be realizing things about herself and moving on from them while at the same time falling into habits that are equally unhealthy for a person.

she realizes she used to care way too much about stuff and tries to counter it by not caring at all. she realizes she used to push people around to much and counters it by becoming a pushover herself. this is sickeningly relatable to me.

the scene where meenah convinces her to get a tattoo is a good example of this.

she realizes that a long-held opinion she had is actually kind of bullshit, and that she cared way too much about it for no reason. good job, vriska!

but then she pretty much leaves the actual decision of it up to meenah! she asks meenah to tell her what to do instead of thinking for herself. she justifies it by agreeing that she loves pirate stuff anyway! shes trying to make up for a lifetime of bossing people around by asking someone else to boss her around. and she convinces herself that this is making her happy! and i mean it definitely is, in a way. it feels good to feel liked by someone. to have the approval of someone you look up to. it is making her happy. but is that... good for her? i dont know! it doesn't feel good to me.

this stuff is hitting me extremely close to home on this reread because i like JUST came upon the revolution that i kinda did this? not to this extreme polarity, but it still resonates.

i was (kind of am still, it's in my nature) a very bossy and controlling person, and i lost an entire circle of friends because they were rightfully tired of me telling them what to do and being so self-righteous all the time. so when trying to make new friends after that, i turned on people-pleaser mode. and i'm kind of still stuck there and trying to strike a balance between being a doormat people-pleaser and being a huge bitch that wants everyone to behave how *i* want them to. it is a hard balance to strike. its hard knowing when i should stand up and say something and when i should let something go, so most often i let things go. and OFTENTIMES i live to regret it. "i should have said something" is something i've been finding myself thinking A LOT in recent months...

and its tricky, because it feels good when people i respect say they approve of me. i feel happy that someone likes me. but sometimes that has come at the cost of sacrificing parts of myself. and it can feel good in the moment, to feel connected to someone like that, but then one day you wake up full of dread because you dont know who the fuck you are anymore. (vriska) didn't really ever get to that point, or, she never voiced it. vriska points out that shes become an entirely different person, but she does it in a way that uhhh fucking sucks lol! and is not helpful, because vriska's not exactly doing great, herself! she shows off her hypocrisy DELICIOUSLY in this scene.

she calls (vriska) selfish for.... being dead, essentially. and she justifies all her own selfish actions with it being "for the greater good," just as she always has. this is par for the course with vriska

^ i looooove this part right here where she sidesteps the fact that she did in fact plan to go fight jack but john punched her in the face to stop her. "different shit happened!" (i actually made the exact same decisions as you, but an outside force changed things and now i feel superior to you because i got a serendipitous opportunity that you didnt)

this whole conversation hits hard with me. it literally sounds similar to conversations ive had with myself! it's hard to not want to side with (vriska) i mean she does feel like the more reasonable one in this conversation and has had more time to think and reflect on herself, and vriska is being a fucking asshole about it, but like, i don't think either of them is exactly Right?

like, vriska has a bit of a point that (vriska) doesnt seem to notice that she's gone people-pleaser mode. but (vriska) thinks this is what happiness is. she despises her old self who was obsessed with inserting herself into everything and feeling the need to be The Best and prove herself as such, to catastrophic outcomes. so of course she wants to separate herself from that as much as possible and strive to become the opposite of it. someone who doesnt care about shit, and who lets other people make decisions for her instead of her making the decisions for everyone against their will. i think (vriska) was on the right track, but just couldn't really... Get There without the right support. and meenah was definitely not the right support.

but anyways like. vriska yelling at (vriska) at how disgusted she is with her is so sickeningly similar to me, looking back and realizing that i used to like.. stand up for myself more. if someone said some shit i didnt like i TOLD them i had a problem. i didn't let people push me around. and i think god, what happened to me? i became a weak loser that bends to peoples idea of what i should be instead of being myself. am i really happy?

but its not like i was better off before, either. vriska still isn't right. yeah i didnt let people boss me around, because i bossed THEM around. when i told people i had a problem with them i was MEAN about it. i said rude shit unnecessarily. i made everything about me and didn't care about what other people thought.

my past self and my "current" self (maybe like, my 'a few months ago self' i like to think im working through it but im still having trouble lol) are disgusted with each other. im disgusted that i used to straight up bully people all the time, and past me is disgusted that i seemed to have stopped having convictions, that i let other people decide who i should be, etc.

neither of them are really happy, but (vriska) sure seems a lot kinder, at least. she's made progress, but in a way that benefits other people more than it does herself.

also i love vriska saying "what happened to not letting shit get to you because you always knew you were better than the one slinging it" that is such utter bullshit. she is ALWAYS letting stuff get to her. all of her god damn actions are because she lets stuff get to her. everything she does is to prove herself. the cycle of revenge shit?? yeah totally didn't let it get to you. thats why you killed aradia and blinded terezi. because you were just so totally better than them and not letting it get to you. this stuff:

yeah. letting it roll off your back. lol

anyways back to meenah and (vriska)

meenah recognizes this vulnerability in (vriska) and it scares her. she does the whole "im abandoning you... for your own good..." thing, which... sucks! as you said, this whole situation just fucken sucks, man.

(vriska) basically admits that at this point, without meenah, she's lost. she let meenah mold her into what she wanted, and to lose her would be to lose herself.

but i mean i don't think there was another way this could've gone. (vriska) was essentially meenah's rebound after aranea (and vriska is her rebound after (vriska) lol) and it's just.. ALL bad. its just... everyone here has such deep personal issues that they cant help but let effect each other, yknow? meenah realizes that her issues are effecting (vriska) and thinks that removing herself from the situation is best. maybe it is? it turns out okay for (vriska) in the end, at least. as "okay" as she can possibly get, i guess.

i don't know. there's a lot here! it all just hurts and sucks. teens, man. how it is.

this is just my (very personal, frankly) interpretation of the events, idk. i think i said a lot here without actually saying anything all that substantial, as i feel like i tend to do. i just resonate with vriska really hard, what and you gave me an opportunity to ramble about it lol

[starrgaziinggg]

DON’T LET ME LOVE YOU | hwang hyunjin

royal au | prince hyunjin x princess reader

PART ONE -> the code (7k words)

directory

"I think it's a code."

You turn slowly to the younger boy sprawled out on the sofa beside you, your eye twitching.

"I established it was a code sixteen minutes ago!" You whisper shout, trying not to make it obvious that you were scheming with your best friend. Jeongin throws his hands up in defeat, a cheeky grin plastering his face.

Hyunjin's third note had been delivered to you thirty minutes ago, yet you were still trying to decipher it. You'd even grabbed Jeongin from his duties of god knows what to read this damned note, yet he was also at a loss.

The first two notes Hyunjin had Minho send since his grand departure had been relatively easy to understand. He'd said he missed you, he was training well and he'd be home before you knew it. This one, however...it was causing you some issues.

The note read, "At late, I think of you, quarter to two, by the river and the Dew."

And that was it.

After rereading it over and over again, and even going as far as to flash a blue light on it in case of any invisible ink, you were stumped. You had no idea why he'd write something like that, especially when you couldn't write him back to ask him to explain what the hell he was talking about.

"I think the whole exchanging notes thing is dumb, anyway," Jeongin says with a tilt of his head, his bright blonde hair falling to the side as he inspected the note for a final time before putting it down on the sofa. "Cringe times a million."

"Will you ever quit with the Hyunjin hate train?" You groan, flopping against the back of the sofa in your bedroom. "He's done nothing to you!"

"He exists," Jeongin seethes, squinting his eyes. "That's enough to set me off."

You pick up the note again, reading it one last time before you decide to give up. Everything about the note seemed off, from the weird capitalisation to the poem itself. You just couldn't put your finger on why.

"And that Minho guy," Jeongin continues, unaware of the fact you were hardly listening to him. "He's a real piece of work. You know he stabbed me once?"

You roll your eyes, not bothering to look up at your best friend. "You punched him first, remember?"

"He punched me but with a knife!" The younger man counters, his eyes going wide.

"You tripped into him whilst he was holding a knife, it was just unfortunate that he was holding it in a way that pierced your skin."

Jeongin gives you a blank stare. "Okay miss 'I'll remember every detail of every encounter I've ever had', lay off," he whines, kicking his feet up onto the sofa and sprawling out. You scoff at him as he makes himself comfortable, the cogs in your brain turning at one hundred miles per hour.

Quarter to two? The Dew?

"And Hyunjin really needs to learn how to capitalise," Jeongin continues on his tangent. "Dew doesn't need a capital letter, the imbecile. Did he even go to school? Or did he spend his childhood stabbing people like Minho."

His comment makes you wonder something. Hyunjin was entirely the smartest person you'd ever met, save from maybe your older brother. He wouldn't capitalise a random word without it meaning something.

"Hold on, Jeong - pass me the two notes on top of my dresser?" You ask him, rolling your eyes when he scoffs and kicks up a fuss from the instruction. He fulfils it none the less, picking up the two carefully folded notes and handing them to you.

The first thing you noticed was that this third note was crumpled up, not neatly folded like the other two. You doubted Hyunjin would be pleased with Minho for that one, but then when you opened up the two old notes it was plain to see the difference between the two.

Whilst the handwriting on both was similar, there were clear differences. The most recent note was messier, less careful, and when you looked really closely, some of the letters had been written differently.

"Hyunjin didn't write this last note," you say cautiously, turning the new note in your hand. "Look, the handwritings different."

"Maybe he was just rushing to write this one before he left," Jeongin offers an explanation, but you shake your head.

"No, look at the way Hyunjin writes his lower case 'A' - he does that fancy thing at the top. I've genuinely never seen anyone outwith the royal families write their 'A's like that," you reveal, and he squints as he analyses the paper.

"Oh yeah," he says out loud, looking between the new paper and the old ones. "I definitely don't write mine like that. Another reason why Hyunjin's a freak."

You give your friend a deadpan expression. "I write my 'A's like that."

"And that's only okay because I like you," Jeongin says happily, sporting a huge grin. You ignore his comment, continuing your analyses of the notes.

"If Hyunjin didn't write it, Minho must have," you say. "The only person who knows to send me notes is him."

"How is he even sending you these without your father finding out? He inspects the Mail daily," Jeongin asks, tilting his head.

"Minho apparently has a 'friend' in the summer court, one of the mail boys - Felix, I think his name is," you shrug, explaining what Hyunjin had told you.

"That's surprising," Jeongin says, his eyes widening. "Minho seems the type to swear off any members of the Summer Court."

You shrug again, genuinely unable to offer Jeongin an explanation.

"So, if Minho wrote this, then what the hell does this code mean?" Jeongin ponders out loud. "To me, it sounds like some sort of meeting point."

You screw your eyebrows at him, wanting him to continue his theory. He shifts, holding the new note and pointing at the words.

"Look; a time, and a place. Quarter to two, by the river," he says, looking up at with a frown.

"You might be a genius," you say quietly, not wanting to boost his ego too much. "But where along the river? It runs through the whole damn Court."

Jeongin stays quiet, thinking, until you both look at each other.

"The Dew pavilion," you both say in unison. The pavilion was one of the oldest structures on your land, and it stood proudly next to the river that ran through the whole of both Kingdoms. It was quite near the border and was where you held the May Parade every year.

"Why didn't I think of that?" You mumble, impressed you'd managed to decode the message.

"Because it's weird as fuck. Why would Minho want to meet you at the Dew pavilion at quarter to two?" Jeongin questions, running a hand through his bright blonde hair.

"Who knows, but it must be important. He's never wanted to talk to me before," you point out, unable to ignore the sick feeling at the pit of your stomach.

"I'm sure your darling prince is fine," Jeongin says, as if able to read your thoughts. After spending almost every day together, he practically could at this point. "He's the strongest soldier in that army by miles."

"I know, I know," you sigh, tapping your feet against each other. "I just feel as though something really bad is happening."

By the way Jeongin stays silent, you know he's feeling the same way. Your best friend had a sharp tongued rebuttal for everything.

"I think our best bet is to find this Felix guy and ask him about the whole thing," Jeongin says, breaking his silence to put you at ease. "See if Minho said anything when he gave him the note."

"Yeah, but I have no idea who he is," you say, groaning. "He doesn't hand me the notes personally, just puts them in a lose brick at the back of the castle, so neither of us get caught."

"I might have an idea of who he is," Jeongin thinks out loud. "There was a Felix in the year above me at school, I wouldn't be surprised if it's the same guy."

"Well, I can get the route of the mail delivery from my dads office and we can see where he is right now," you say, picking up the notes as you stand up and placing the first two in your bedside table drawer. "He shouldn't be two far away, since I just got this note a half hour ago."

"Sure," Jeongin says, hauling himself off of your sofa. "It wasn't as if I was up to much today, anyway."

You turn to him, raising an eyebrow.

"Okay, so I may or may not have been told to help set up the grand hall for the ball on Saturday with the servants, but fuck that. That's no job for a Royal Guard."

You roll your eyes at him. "Might I remind you, you're only a Royal Guard because I practically forced my father to give you the title to allow you permission to enter the palace at free will."

Jeongin scoffs, waving his hand. "I actually miss sneaking around. It's so boring now that I can come and go as I please."

You don't bother responding to him, knowing that he was more than grateful you'd managed to convince your dad to allow Jeongin to be deemed a Royal Guard. Jeongin had been trained in combat, and spent almost all his free time with you anyway, so there was no reason not to bestow the title to him.

You recount the times he'd have to scale the castle walls to tumble into your bedroom to see you when you'd been grounded back in the day, disallowed to enter palace grounds without a title - be that of a servant, maid or guard amongst others.

Your father isn't in the palace for the foreseeable, instead out gallivanting with his mistress of the minute, disguised as an 'important off-palace rendezvous.' It didn't matter much to you, as it meant you could retrieve the files you needed from his office with ease.

You'd picked the lock to his office numerous times, and as you shush Jeongin and use a hair clip until you hear the lock click, you thank yourself for learning the skill. You push your fathers office door open with ease, allowing Jeongin to enter behind you before pushing it shut again.

"Okay, let's make this quick before a guard catches us," you say quietly, silently walking over to his filing cabinet where you knew he kept all the mundane information about the going ons of his kingdom. Quickly, you turn to the 'm' section, finding the Mail route with ease.

You pull out the necessary file, flicking through the pages until you get to the page that has the time stamps and which corresponding area of the kingdom the mail is being delivered to at that time. Checking your watch, you notice it's 10:43am, so you find the time stamp.

"Valerie's Place," you read aloud the street name, dubbed that after your past Queen; your great (times however many) grandmother. "Then after that Farrow Crescent and Sloane's Avenue."

"We may as well go straight to Sloane's avenue and catch him there," Jeongin suggests, keeping his voice hushed. "By the time we get there, he'll probably already be there."

"True," you say, closing the file and replacing it before checking the coast is clear and heading back out onto the landing, re locking the door with the same hair pin and pulling Jeongin down the corridor. "Come on, we've got to hurry."

"Hurry where?" You hear as you collide into a large figure. Jeongin walks straight into the back of you, and you look up to see your older brother staring down at you.

"Nowhere of your concern, Chan," you respond, sticking your tongue out at him. He tilts his head at you, flicking you gently on the forehead.

"It is my concern. Since father's away, I'm in charge," he states proudly, as if it realistically means anything. Your brother and you had always been quite close, though he liked to reinforce his 'older brother' status often.

"Don't care, I'm going out," you say matter of factly, grabbing Jeongin's wrist and pulling him along behind you.

"Bye Chan!" You hear Jeongin yell from behind you, and you turn to throw him a nasty look. He'd always got on well with your brother, which drove you up the wall when he was annoying you.

The two of you weave through the flurry of servants bringing items into the large ballroom on the first floor of the palace after you rush down the grand set of stairs, trying to avoid getting scolded for running about in the palace. Jeongin follows close behind, opening the main door and holding it open for you to both exit out of.

"I hate balls," you say, unaware of how dumb it sounds until Jeongin bursts out laughing. You scowl at him, choosing to ignore his childish behaviour. "I have to attend every single one and dance with loads of icky guys."

"That's why I swoop in and save you," Jeongin beams, walking quickly down the stairs to the entrance of the palace and following you over the bridge to the main entryway. "But I won't be needing to do that anymore, now that you have your Prince Charming."

"He won't be at this ball," you remind him, an sense of sadness overwhelming you at the thought. "So you'll still have to save me."

"My rightful duty," he salutes you as you both continue walking through the palace courtyard until you reach the main village. The streets are filled since the sun is shining, and people greet you continuously as you pass them. You nod and smile politely as you walk, taking a turn at the top of the village which you knew would lead you to Sloane's Avenue.

Just as you suspected, you see the Mail boy up ahead, delivering letters to a cottage at the bottom of the avenue. You turn to give Jeongin a look.

"Is that the same guy from school?" You ask him, and he nods eagerly. You walk up to him cautiously, attempting not to startle him.

"Felix?" You question, watching him whip round at the sound of his name.

"Your highness," he says instantly, bowing due to customs. You smile politely at him in return. "What can I do for you?"

You take a deep breath before answering. "Sorry to interrupt you, I just have a couple questions about this," you say, pulling out the note and showing it to him. He reads it cautiously, screwing his face up. "I was wondering if Minho said anything when he gave the note to you?"

Felix seems to think for a minute, before nodding. "He said something about it being important, and he kind of seemed to be in a hurry to give it to me and leave again. Told me to deliver it as soon as I could."

You nod, thankful that you were on the right lines about the note and it's importance. "So Minho wrote it?"

"That's his handwriting," the blonde haired boy states, pointing towards the note in your hand.

"Sorry if this is too personal a question," Jeongin speaks up, after staying relatively quiet during the encounter. "But how do you know Minho in the first place?"

Felix looks between you and Jeongin, his shoulders slumping. "It's meant to be a secret, but we're cousins."

Your mouth almost gapes. Minho's family was known of a high status in the Winter Court, so the fact he shared family with the Summer Court is completely frowned upon.

"That's..." you start, unable to find the right words.

"Illegal, I know, but there's nothing that can be done now. His family has already renounced mine and my parents were imprisoned for years," Felix explains, a horribly sad look plaguing his face. You place a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Im so, so sorry that happened to you," you say, and you hope he knows how sincere you are. If it was up to you, the whole situation between the two courts would have been made peaceful a long time ago. It was as if your father and Hyunjin's enjoyed carrying along the tradition of hatred between the courts.

"It's not your fault, princess," Felix says to you, and you feel Jeongin placing a hand on your arm.

"We should probably get going if we're to meet Minho at quarter to two," Jeongin says to you, leaning into your ear. You check your watch, the time displaying 12:04pm, and you realise he's right. You'd probably have to take horses to be able to meet Minho on time.

"Thankyou so much for your help," you say warmly to Felix, watching his blonde hair bounce as he nods his head. "I really appreciate what you're doing for me."

"It's no problem. Any friend of Minho's is a friend of mine," he smiles kindly, and you allow Jeongin to thank him as well before you turn on your heel to leave.

"That was informative," he says matter of factly, matching your quick pace as you follow the same route you took to get here. "Felix seems like a nice guy."

You hum, nodding. "Yeah, he does. At least we're on the right path."

Jeongin gives you a quizzical look. "Of course we're on the right path, this is the exact way we walked to come here."

You feel like pushing him over for his ridiculous comment, but you refrain. "I meant figuratively, dip shit. Anyway, the next plan is to get our horses and meet Minho at the pavilion."

Jeongin groans loudly as he walks. "I hate that damn horse. It always tries to force me off and never does what I tell it."

"Roger is not an it," you say, your tone full of disgust. "Yeah, okay he might be a bit more unwilling than the other horses, but-"

"Oh please," Jeongin cuts you off as you turn towards the palace stables, following the path through the meadow. "Your horse adores you!"

"That's because I treat Juniper with love and respect," you say pointedly, watching Jeongin roll his eyes at you. When you reach the stables, your beautiful hazelnut coloured horse greets you, pushing her nose into your hand to greet you. Jeongin has less of a nice interaction, his horse Roger not even looking in his direction as he approaches.

Jeongin sticks his arms out as if to say, 'see?', and you shrug in response, opening Juniper's gate and starting to saddle her up. It's not long until the two of you are riding easily towards the pavilion, racing each other through the woods. The trees start to dissipate and soon enough, you're in the open clearing, the large pavilion in sight. The two of you are pretty worn out from the long ride as you dismount from your horses, allowing them to graze freely in the surrounding areas knowing they won't go far.

When you check your watch, you're right on time.

Ten minutes later you check your watch again.

When there's still not a single sign of Minho after almost two hours, you give up. Jeongin had given up a long time ago, sitting cross legged on the grass and attempting to make the worlds longest daisy chain. You kick a rock in his direction, feeling defeated, as you stand up.

"Let's go," you sigh, grabbing your stuff and looking towards the direction of the Winter Court one final time. Jeongin stands up, brushing flowers and blades of grass off of himself.

"You've finally given up on Mr. Crack My Code?" Jeongin teases, stretching out his limbs. You push him gently, snickering as he stumbles backwards. "Did that make you feel better?"

You nod. Because it did, even if it was just a little bit.

"At least we got away from the palace for a day," Jeongin says as the two of you walk towards your horses in the distance. They're both grazing lazily by the river, enjoying what's left of the sunshine. "Minho's wild goose chase did grant us that much. Every cloud."

"It still seems off to me," you say, climbing back onto Juniper and beginning the slow journey back to the stables, Jeongin on your tail. Literally. "Maybe we got the code wrong?"

"I dunno," Jeongin sighs, equally as disspointed as you are, pulling his horse up so he's right beside you, falling into step with your pace. "I feel like it couldn't have meant anything else."

You don't respond, utterly defeated by the whole thing. Honestly, you'd been more than excited at the prospect of this small adventure, figuring out what was going on. Excitement dissolved your worry that the whole situation was a bad one, and now that you didn't feel that excitement anymore...

"If you want," Jeongin starts, noticing your foul mood. "I could sneak over to the Winter court tomorrow and try and talk to Minho myself."

Scoffing, you give him a side eye. "That's gonna be near enough impossible, and you know it," you remind him. Minho, as Hyunjin had told you, spent almost all his time in the winter court palace, and now that Hyunjin was away, you could expect Minho was taking over a lot of his duties. There was no way on earth Jeongin would ever be able to get his attention and hold a conversation with him without being spotted and consequently reported.

"I'd try," he responds, looking at you in a way that tugs on your heart strings, because you know he would. Despite his feelings about the winter court - feelings that had been uprooted in him due to his deep Summer court lineage, he would still do whatever he could if it meant you'd be happy. He was your best friend, after all.

"It's alright," you say, dismissing the subject. You'd never allow yourself to put him in danger like that. The two of you keep relatively quiet for the rest of your long journey back, keeping your pace gently as to not overexert the horses.

It doesn't take you long to arrive back at the stables, feeding your horses and giving them the rest they need. Jeongin follows you up to your bedroom for the second time of the day, trying to stay out of the eye of your servants who were, more than likely, furious that he'd abandoned his duties of helping them set up for the ball.

He was unsuccessful, though, getting sufficiently called out when you both went into the dining hall for dinner with your brother. He'd been expertly scolded by your head maid, though it was nothing he couldn't get out of with some sweet words and a dimpled grin.

Jeongin was more than accustomed to spending the night sleeping on your sofa, so he didn't even think about refusing the offer when you asked him. You wanted his company, after the dampener your previous events had put on the day. Even as you attempted to sleep, the white light of the moon glaring through your window a stark contrast to the pitch black night, you held that note up, attempting to find something you couldn't find earlier.

It was to no avail, though. There was nothing you hadn't already though of. You place the note to your side, sitting up against your head board. Jeongin's sleeping frame is directly opposite you, his chest gently rising up and down as he breathes. It's peaceful for a second, and you think you could perhaps fall asleep, until there's a harsh sound against your window.

Bolting upright at the noise, you rush to Jeongin's side, jolting him awake with a harsh push. He gives you a groggy shove back until he hears the noise himself, scaring him into wakening up.

Then, your window slides open, and you have to physically stop yourself from screaming.

Jeongin already has his sword in hand, reacting to the situation much faster than you. He pushes you behind him gently, walking towards the open window with his sword pointed at the perpetrator.

Minho almost gets his head chopped off. You recognise him instantly, your goosebumps fading when he climbs through your window with ease. Jeongin lowers his swords, scoffing.

"You trying to beat me up for the second time, Yang?" Minho says snidely, dusting himself down and closing the window behind him as if he'd done it a million times. You and Jeongin share a look.

"What the hell?" You question out loud, running your hands through your hair as your stress subsided.

"Nice to see you too, princess," Minho says, plastering a fake smile onto his face. "This is such a great welcome."

"Maybe if you hadn't, I don't know, snuck into my room whilst I was asleep you'd have a more cheerier response," you say snarkily, unable to help yourself. He had just scared you half to death, is all.

"You should be commending me for my superior skills in bypassing your guards and making it into your bedroom undetected," Minho counters.

Jeongin sheaths his sword now that he's decided there's no imminent danger, and takes a seat at the footboard of your bed. Minho takes his own on the sofa, moving the duvet Jeongin had been sleeping under to the side. You join Jeongin at the edge of your bed.

There's a weird period of silence where none of you speak. This is the first time the three of you have ever been in a room together alone, so you all kind of eye each other up, unaware of how to proceed.

It's Minho who breaks the silence, clearing his throat to grab your attention.

"So, you didn't understand my code, then," is all he says, as if it's no surprise to him. Jeongin scoffs at the same time you frown.

"We did, actually," you reply distastefully. "Meet you at Dew Pavilion at 2, we got the message."

Minho raises his eyebrows. "So why was I standing at your blessed pavilion at 2am by myself?"

Jeongin and you only share a look, rolling your eyes at each other. "Why the hell would we take that to mean 2am? We were there at 2 in the afternoon waiting for you!"

"Why the fuck would I be there at 2 in the afternoon?" Minho fires back, raising his voice to a hushed shout. "Do you want me to get arrested for trespassing on Summer Court land in broad daylight without due cause?"

"In hindsight, you should have probably put a more distinct time frame on your note," you point out. "Or maybe not written the note in code at all? Your cousin goes to lengths to deliver them in secret for a reason."

"How do you know Felix is my cousin?" is all Minho responds with, which Joeongin replies;

"Spoke to him today. Nice guy."

Minho gives him a look, turning to you. "Yeah, well, hindsight is a glorious thing," he responds sarcastically, ignoring Jeongin. "If I had more time, I would have tried to arrange the whole meetup better. Nice to formally meet you, by the way."

"Nice to meet you too," you say, trying your best to show how genuine you are. You were trying to make a good impression on Hyunjin's best friend, after all. "What on earth is going on?"

Minho sighs, seemingly preparing himself for what he's about to say as he runs his hands through his dark hair. "This is gonna be a lot to take in, so bare with me."

"I think we can handle it," Jeongin says with another scoff. You elbow him, trying to remind him of his manners, but Minho doesn't bat an eyelid, which you find unusual. In the brief encounters you've shared, Jeongin and Minho usually make it their lives mission to get the last dig in.

"Basically," Minho starts, looking up at you both with sincerity. "I overheard some pretty deep shit yesterday. Like, 'this could change our lives forever' shit."

You nod your head, willing him to go on. He looks between both you and Jeongin before continuing.

"I've had to take on a lot of Hyunjin's duties since he's been fulfilling his six months of training," he explains, which you figured as much. "It meant I've been in the palace even more than usual, talking to a lot of our courts higher ups."

"Are you just trying to show off, or is this actually going somewhere?" Jeongin asks, and although you should reprimand him, you're actually thinking the exact same thing.

"I'm trying to give you both some insight as to how I got the information I'm about to tell you, so that you actually believe me," he says exasperatedly, raising his eyebrows. "What I'm about to tell you is so top secret even I wasn't supposed to know about it, and I know everything."

You choose to ignore his cockiness, nodding your head and tapping your foot in anticipation. "Is Hyunjin alright?" you can't help but ask, your mind racing to a million different horrible things.

"Your boyfriend is fine," Minho tells you, so sincerely that you don't bother correcting him on the fact that you and Hyunjin technically weren't in a relationship. "This is more about you than him."

"So?" Jeongin says impatiently. "Spit it out already."

Once again, Minho ignores Jeongin’s jeers, which unnerves you. "It's about your father. There's...there's a plot - ongoing for a while, I heard - that Hyunjins father wants to overthrow him."

You blink a couple times, speaking before thinking. "That's not so unusual, those two have been wanting to take each others crowns since the dawn of time."

Minho nods. "Yeah, but this is different. Hyunjin’s father didn't need to send him to train. It's obvious Hyunjin has the experience he needs to be a fucking war veteran without doing the simple army training course that the Winter Court insists on. Even I almost got pardoned, since I was well versed without it. But the law is that every male in the Winter court has to fulfil the training, unless physically unable or..."

"Or what?" you ask impatiently.

"Or a member of the royal family," Minho finishes, and you lean back slightly. "I didn't even know that until I started researching it properly yesterday, so I highly doubt Hyunjin knew. There's another reason Hyunjin’s father wanted to ship him off for six months."

Jeonging taps your knee with his hand a couple times to comfort you. "I overheard a meeting yesterday," Minho continues. "Hyun's father brought up a proposition to your father last month - it was kept quiet, as it wasn't properly supposed to be fulfilled for years yet. The proposition was to create an alliance between both courts."

"My dad would never agree to that," you say firmly. "Not after the atrocities your court committed against us in the last war. He swore he would never see peace with the Winter Court after you had my grandmother killed."

Minho blinks at you a couple times, trying to figure out a way to tackle the conversation without being insensitive. "I know that. But Hyunjin's father thought if he relayed the benefits of an alliance with your dad, he could make him see his point. In all honesty, The Winter court is struggling. We don't have enough land for our population and most of the land we do have is unliveable. We desperately need the use of the strip of land at the border which we're forbidden to build on."

You had no idea about any of this. Unless Hyunjin didn't actually know, which is a long shot, he must have been keeping it from you for whatever reason.

"So the plan was to, what? Form an alliance between the courts solely for the gain of your court? Our king would never agree to that," Jeongin points out.

"Exactly, which is why Hyunjin's father set an ultimatum," Minho answers Jeongin. "It was either an alliance or war."

A shiver runs down your spine. Your court was strong, but the Winter Court was notorious for being skilled in combat. Even your father knew you'd probably be destroyed if another war ever broke out.

"So what came of it?" you ask. Minho takes another deep breath.

"The alliance wasn't baseless," he says. "It wasn't just a 'let us shake hands and make up' type thing. Hyunjin's dad wanted the alliance to be binding. So, he proposed perhaps the most binding thing he could think of."

You look at Minho expectantly.

"The marriage of you and Hyunjin."

Jeongin chokes on his own tongue from beside you. You feel heat rising to your cheeks at the same time.

"Hyunjin's dad wants us to get married?" you spit out, shocked. Minho nods in response.

"For the benefit of his court, yes. Obviously he doesn't know about your thing you've got going on," he replies. Jeongin gets a grip of himself, looking at you with wide eyes.

"Did her dad agree to that?" he asks Minho, who shakes his head firmly.

"No, he didn't, and from what I heard Hyunjin's father left in an outrage with no improvement on his plan, until yesterday."

"What happened yesterday?" you ask, now fully invested in what Minho was telling you. You'd never been allowed to be this involved in your countries on goings before.

"This is the part you're not gonna like," Minho says, looking straight at you, his face grim. "Your brother paid us a visit yesterday. From what I'd witnessed, it was obvious Hyunjin's father was being serious about the whole, 'going to war' scenario. Then, all I saw was your brother leaving out the back exit of the palace and it was as though all talk of war had ceased."

You shake your head, squeezing your eyes shut. "That doesn't make any sense," you breathe out, looking towards Jeongin. "Chan? Chan wouldn't betray us in any way."

"I'm not saying he has one hundred percent done anything to go against you," Minho says, leaning his elbows on his knees as he speaks. "It just seems extremely fishy is all."

"I agree," Jeongin says reluctantly, looking to you sincerely. "You how much I idolise your big brother, but one second Hyunjin’s dad is prepared to go all hairy canary on us and the next Chan visits him and he chills out?"

You almost laugh at Jeongins dumbification of the events, but there's nothing funny about this. Minho would never have risked his life coming to tell you this if he didn't deem it important.

"Yeah, it's..." Minho trains off, not knowing exactly what to say. "It doesn't look great."

"But why would Hyunjins dad have had to ship him off to military training while all this shit is going on?" you ask, not really understanding how that came into play with all of this.

"Hyunjin has been advocating for peace between the courts since he could talk," Minho says simply, shrugging his shoulders. "Even the mere mention of war and Hyunjin would have made every effort to shut down his fathers plan. Honestly, I think Hyunjin’s father just wanted to keep him out of his way during his shady scheming."

You nod your head. From what you've heard of Hyunjin's dad, from both Hyunjin himself and everyone else, he wasn't a nice guy. This didn't phase you one bit.

"So what do you propose?" Jeongin asks after a couple minutes of silence, the three of you keeping to your own thoughts. Minho sighs, resting himself against the back of the sofa.

"I think this ball isn't going to be any ordinary one," Minho says confidently, referring to the ball taking place at the week end, which your servants had been preparing for. "If something's going to happen, it will be then. I think if we stand any chance of figuring out what the hell is actually going on and want to get together a solid plan to stop anything seriously bad from happening, we've got six days to do so."

"Six days?" Jeongin responds, his brows flying upwards. "That's fuck all time."

"With no less crude way to put it," Minho says, glaring at the younger man. "Yeah. We're kind of screwed. Especially without Hyunjin - he'd know exactly what to do right now."

As much as you had been missing the man you'd been growing feelings for over the past however many months, it was obvious Minho was feeling kind of lost without him too. You'd feel the exact same if Jeongin were to be sent away.

There's no way to tell how much time passes as you sit there silently, willing yourself to figure out a way to be able to get a proper grasp of the on goings between the courts and figure out a way to stop it from coming to a dramatic (and probably deadly) climax. It's a good while later when Jeongin speaks up, throwing his hands down in frustration.

"If we've got any chance of finding out what's going on, we need to dedicate the next six days of our lives to this," he says, shaking his head and looking between both you and Minho, his face rightfully expressing that there was no other option. "If it was up to me, I'd be hiding out in seclusion until the ball and trying to find out as much information about this shit as I possibly could."

He's got a point, and it's clear Minho's in agreement when he nods his head slowly, his eyes glassy as he thinks.

"I hate to agree," he speaks up. "But you're right. Hyunjin's the next ruler of his fucking court and he currently has no idea that there might be an impending war, or something even worse. Nothing's going to be achieved if I go back, you guys stay here and we cant fucking do anything about this. We may as well just forget about this whole thing, in that case."

"My father isn't returning until Saturday, the day of the ball," you point out, looking to Minho. "If that's for some ulterior motive - I don't know, but it does mean I have some leeway about my whereabouts."

"You're thinking what I'm thinking?" Jeongin asks, grabbing your attention. You shrug in responds, which makes Minho huff, since he obviously can't read your mind.

"Care to enlighten me?" He says. Jeongin speaks up before you do.

"We actually could dedicate the next six days of our life to this," Jeongin says simply, reiterating Minho's words. "I have a house near the border - extremely secluded - that we used to spend weekends at when we had nothing better to do. My parents lived in it during the last war, and - not to indulge you in a history lesson, passed it onto me when they passed away."

It was true. The last war between the courts, your father was seventeen. It was one of the most brutal and long lasting wars the courts had ever seen, and it saw the death of your grandmother and your father becoming the youngest king of the Summer Court for generations. Jeongin's family had always been very closely related to the royal family, so whilst Jeongin's mother hit in their secluded home by the border, his father fought on the front lines. They both passed away and Jeongin was left to the care of his extended family who lived near the palace, which is why you'd grown up so close to him.

"So your saying you could basically live there for the next six days and figure all this shit out?" Minho asks, clearing up Jeongin's words.

"And you," Jeongin says reluctantly, his voice low, as he looks up at Minho through strands of bleached hair. "We'd need your help. So if you could, you could stay with us."

You admire Jeongin for putting down his preconceptions of Minho, knowing he was doing the right thing by extending an invite to him. It was obvious that you did need him, after all. You could only do so much from your end.

Minho actually gives Jeongin a half smile. "I'll see what I can do. If I can figure something out, I'll let you know. It'll be pretty hard for me to be able to leave my duties for a week, but I'm sure I'll be able to manage."

You nod at him with a smile, deciding that that pretty much concluded the late night rendezvous. There was a lot you had to think over and consider - the seemingly impending war and your dad’s contribution to it, Hyunjin’s father and his proposition, your brother being a potential traitor...

It was a lot to take in for a Sunday night.

Jeongin stands up with Minho, giving him the address of the house, and you think Minho must be pretty credible if Jeongin trusts him, since yesterday Jeongin wouldn't have gone near him with a ten foot pole. Minho nods at him and then at you, and you make your way over to the window to let him attempt his master escape route.

"When you get down, take the back gate just to the right of the fountain," you tell him. "There's a clear path that takes you to the Winter Court five times quicker than any other route. Plus, it's the route you're least likely to get caught on."

He blinks at you a few times, a habit you've noticed he has, before nodding and opening your window, making sure to check his surroundings outside first. Before he makes his way outside, you stop him, grabbing his attention.

"Why are you helping us?" you can't help but to ask. Hyunjin had told you time again that Minho wasn't fond of you. Your court hadn't treated theirs with much respect, either. Minho, from your point of view, had no reason to not just let these plans be seen through without your knowledge.

Yet, he takes the time to stop halfway through the window, giving you a half smile. "I know how much you mean to Hyunjin. And he's my brother, so whether I like it or not, you're stuck with me by default. Plus, I kind of don't want to be a witness to the destruction of both our home courts."

You only nod, your heart filling from his answer. "Thank you."

And with that, he's gone, stealthily making his way off palace grounds without notice. Jeongin motions his head being blown up to you, his hands at either side of his skull, and you laugh at him.

"Well that was certainly eventful," he says, flopping back onto the couch as you make your way back into your bed, though you really don't think you'll be getting any sleep after that. "Maybe our week won't be boring ball preparations after all."

[hillbillyoracle]

Journal Hacking

I’m not sure if this will make sense to anyone else but I wanted to document something I’ve been trying lately with regards to planning/bujo/journaling type things. Even if only so I can go back and see what I did lol. 

So I have been bullet journaling in some form on and off since 2014. So it’s been a minute. And while I like it on the whole, it’s just not been working out for me lately. I tried a Hobonichi weeks mega and while I really like some aspects it’s just not enough room for me. My handwriting is not that small. 

I ran across a simplified GTD-like system called Ugmonk Analog and I liked the principles (even if I didn’t like the price tag) so I adapted it to my new journal. 

Ugmonk’s Analog system has three cards - Today, Next, and Someday. I’m just using notecards I have for this. I put the Today card on my cover with washi tape so I can see it without opening my notebook and easily write things down (my pen is in the loop to the side there). 

The Next and the Someday cards - along with some others are in the inside. I made the pocket by taping one of the notecards horizontally and taping the two outside sides. 

The long bit of text on the inside cover is the Heart Sutra. I like to write it on notebooks I’ll be using regularly so I pause and reflect on it more regularly. 

In addition to Next and Someday cards, I have a blank one for scratch paper and one with my ideal timelines for doing home and personal tasks. The personal side is lacking, I’m kind of in a state of transition on that so I’m unclear what I want to do regularly. The house stuff never happens all the way but I like knowing what I’d like to do when I’m adding tasks to my Today card. 

I think my favorite part of this system is the memory keeping part. It’s not super elegant or pretty but on the pack of each today card, I record any notable things about the day on the top (period, mood, fights, symptoms) with a hashtag, the weather, and then I fill the card with what I did that day. It’s been very helpful so far for jogging my memory throughout the week. I like that I can pull them out and see as many as I’d like throughout the week. I plan on digitizing them at the end of the year and keeping the last year as a hard copy. 

I keep the card in this little green box. Might decorate it soon. 

I don’t really feel like sharing my finished cards so hopefully this gives you an idea. I like that I can see what happened in a day and what I got done on one card. 

So yeah, I’m really liking it so far. I still do long form journaling (Morning Pages type things) in the notebook itself. I actually turn it so the short side is on the top and it’s kind of like writing on an A4 sheet of paper. I do that so I don’t start auto rereading old journal entries when I’m flipping through for other stuff. I index and thread anything that isn’t journal entries like I would a normal bullet journal. Right now I have some random notes for subject I’m studying, some pen and paper games I’m playing, and writing notes. 

I’m also going to add either an A6 monthly calendar or print my own calendar set up to add to the back pocket for scheduling things in advance. I know everyone uses Google Calendar but I never check mine much. So people can schedule things with me on my Google Cal but my source of truth will be the hard copy. 

Some resources I took inspiration from in setting all this up: 

- OG Bullet Journal - I’m surprised by how many people I’ve met who don’t know that bullet journaling isn’t just making your own pretty planner but an actual system (no shade to the art journaling folks, I’m just not one of them). When I say I use bullet journaling, this is what I’m using. Check for some of his more recent videos if you like it, he’s updated it. 

- Ugmonk Analog - slightly expanded to-do list system on paper; the product seems nice but they’ve actually been very supportive of people making their own knockoff versions for personal use which is cool to see

- Everbook - I think if I had more to juggle, I’d upgrade to something like this system. This guy has so many neat ideas sprinkled throughout the channel. He also really supports people making their own version. Love a good open source ethos. 

Anyways - hope this helps someone! 

[ponett]

i finished a recent reread of One Piece recently and your "ho would you fix one piece" ask annoyed me all over cause at the end of Wano Luffy is all like "Yamato and Momo are honorary crew members and cant join up when ever they please!" and i was just in my head screaming "WHAT ABOUT CARROT! WHY NOT HER TOO! I DONT CARE THAT SHES THE MINK KING NOW! shes had a whole little ac about wanting to see the world and then carry on Pedro's will to see the new dawn!" and it bums me out so bad

i really get the feeling that oda just... didn't realize how popular carrot would be? which is bizarre when you look at how prominent she was throughout whole cake, and how well she gets along with the crew, and the stuff about carrying on pedro's legacy, and all the scenes of her sailing with the straw hats that seemed to slot her in as their lookout. (carrots have vitamins that improve your eyesight! she's a rabbit who can literally leap right up to the crow's nest! it all fits!) but... it just wasn't meant to be. she was a temporary ally with an extremely situational transformation that she can only use during the full moon. you can only play that card so many times. the whole "by the way you're in charge of the mink tribe now" thing at the end felt like a last second consolation prize for us carrot stans after she got sidelined in wano

despite hoping carrot would join the crew for years, i think i'm more baffled by yamato. like, i love yamato, but there were already so many moving parts to worry about going into the onigashima raid. why did we ALSO need to introduce a brand new character out of nowhere who gets a ton of focus and a whole backstory and repeatedly declares how he's going to join luffy's crew... if he's just gonna decide to stay on wano at the last second? what was the point of all that, then? i mean sure, yes, giving us a character with transmasc swag is a noble creative goal in and of itself, but it feels like the most bizarre, pointless bait and switch right now

i'm not THAT upset about either of them, though, because i know carrot and yamato will come back for at least a bit. all the stuff with zunesha and opening up wano is still unresolved. they may not be on the main cast, but they probably have to come back at some point in the final war. the focus has just been shifted away from wano and the minks and all that right now for a change of pace

[sharkneto]

hi!!!! I was rereading the shifting mirrors and holding it together since you finished joining together recently (it’s SO good, it’s so so SO good, your writing is always so well done and flows so well) and I had a couple questions. Sorry if this is weird - if you don’t want to answer them feel free to ignore this ask, I’m just curious!

1.) did you start writing joining together while you were still posting holding it together? a lot of the details I noticed in HIT were referenced in JT, and I was just kind of like ‘that’s a LOT of details to remember’ so I was wondering if you were working backwards !!

2.) have you ever thought about what happens at the end of HIT? do you think they would actually end up stopping the apocalypse, or would the commission try to come and correct them? I thought that was interesting - that the commission said they were done with five, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re done with the offshoot timeline ; if they hadn’t interfered prior, that would mean they were still on track for an apocalypse, right ? I like to speculate about this. with sheer strength of will I think that five would probably end up stopping it, mostly because he knows how to work through his rage rather than act on impulse again - and now he has the knowledge to try and connect the others so that viktor doesn’t feel so isolated.

3.) what was your favorite part of writing the story / what kept you motivated to keep it going ? I’ve started a couple chaptered fics, and then I get three or four chapters in and lose it completely.

I love, love, love the world youve created - I love the characters youve built and the personalities behind them. the dedication youve held on to to keep the series going is admirable; I can barely write 20k, much less hundreds of thousands of words. I was actually thinking of asking your permission to maybe write an offshoot of your offshoot (it might be the thing that gets me back into writing for tua) but idk if I’d have the imagination or creativity to make it nearly as compelling and fun as yours. Congratulations and great work on finishing it !! <333

this got long - feel free to ignore it if it’s overstepping or weird, lol !! I hope you’re doing well - have a great night, shark :)

Hey Toby! Glad you enjoyed it all so much and thanks for the kind words! It's a little surreal to have it done, JT has been a WIP almost as long as I've been into TUA.

I started writing JT before HIT. This whole series was supposed to be a Just For Me Fun Project while I rotted alone during the pandemic that I ended up sharing with permission from orsumfenix and encouragement from friends. I was a bit into JT, I think, when I started thinking about how fun it would be to get more siblings in here, and those musing became HIT. HIT got posted first because it had a lower barrier for entry, with more focus on the Hargreeves we know instead of OCs. So, because the stories were written more-or-less simultaneously, it was easy to reference one or set up something for the other. Working forwards and backwards, with the end of JT already written (in a rough draft) when I was writing HIT, so I knew where Rob, Sarah, and Number were coming off of at that point. (The tiny detail I'm most fond of is Allison in HIT noting that Number broke his nose at some point, and then in JT we get to see the stupid scenario in which he broke his nose.)

(rest under a readmore because I ramble)

I do have thoughts on what happens after HIT! More of a time jump, to Number's Apocalypse Week, and I've got words in a WIP started about that (and a few snips shared in my snip tag, although some I think I've changed some of the details, now). It goes... less smoothly than it should, for a guy who has (almost) all the details he needs. If motivation continues, I'll share that eventually. If it doesn't, I'll word-vomit an outline so at least people who are interested can know how it goes down. I don't see the Commission coming back - the people obsessed with Five are dead, and the organization is done with him. They don't have the resources to spare to keep going after him, so at least in Five and Number's timelines, they're out of the Commission's scope.

What kept me going was a combo of things. 2020-2022ish, I had a fuckton of time. I only worked three days a week because of covid protocols, I couldn't go anywhere because of covid, and I couldn't see anyone because of covid. I had four days a week to fill, and a lot of that time got filled with writing - all of HIT and the first draft of JT happened during this time, plus all the other fics I published throughout that time. What kept me going is that I was having a ton of fun writing and fun interacting with other people about my fics. Love, love, love talking about them (so never apologize for an ask like this, every fic writer is begging for an excuse to ramble like this). I liked thinking about the characters, thinking about Number doing mundane things I was doing made them more interesting, I liked thinking about Rob and Sarah's little romcom life, and I'm fascinated by Five's whole deal. My favorite part of writing these is Five (both versions of him) - thinking about him and how he'd react to x or y, how others react to him. I love that, at his core, he's kind of a loser. I love what an incredible vehicle for grief he is. He's a character of all time for me.

How to keep going, I don't have an easy answer for it. Some people outline, so they have the skeleton of what they're doing and where they're going. I'm not one of those people, I have an idea of the general shape and trajectory of the story and go from there, splitting up chapters as needed. I think it's important to not force it, or the writer's block gets worse and then you're stressed about writing instead of having fun with it, and that's no good - the point is to have fun. If you run out of steam, you run out of steam and you have to take a six-month hiatus until life calms down and you have words again (as a hypothetical example). Don't be afraid to poke at other ideas even if you have a giant fic unfinished. For having 25 fics on AO3, I have 35 other WIP files on my computer. Some of them have a couple hundred words, some have tens of thousands of words, some of them I'll come back to finish, some of them I won't. Such is life - some ideas have legs, others don't. I don't set out thinking "Oh this fic is going to be 50k words with 10 chapters". I just write until it feels done; sometimes that's 2k words, sometimes it's almost 200k words. The point I'm trying to make, here, is that we're all just fucking around having fun, and words flow easier when I'm remembering that and not stressing about being done or trying to finish for a self-imposed deadline. You've got it :)

Feel free to write in my little world! Would love to see what others are thinking about, what stuck with them. Just give me (and orsumfenix, if you use Number) a shoutout if you share it! And don't sell yourself short - I'm sure you've got great ideas and the chops to write them out. Don't compare yourself to me; you might write in a world I helped shape, but you've got your own voice and style to give it. I, for one (if you end up writing and sharing it), would love to hear your version of it all :)

[lildoodlenoodle]

First things first(spoilers for spiderverse/spidergeddon and comic noir storyline) this is a long post but you’ll have fun I promise. As always feel free to engage with the post, I’d love to hear different theories/opinions/conclusions on this in the tags or comments. Sorry it took so long!

Now I’m gonna say something morbid:

Spider Noir’s death in the comics was hilarious

Jarring, but hilarious. Like why’d he grab him like that. I physically had to shut off my iPad and go for a walk after this scene when I first read it.

But to my point, you know how some people say your birth mark is how you died in your last life?

Well post resurrection we might have A, B, and C:

(Now before anyone gets on me for, why would you do that/even think of this? In my defense, I couldn’t remember where he was grabbed, it’s been a while since I’ve read these. I thought it was gonna be on his back or shoulder and I’d give him a burned on handprint going all ‘gripped you tight and raised from perdition’ which is cool, fun, sexy, and conveniently hidden. Then I reread it and it’s basically a permanent face palm. Also pretend his face looks the same in every one. Couldn’t decide on hair either lol.)

Either way post resurrection Peter should have physical after effects of his resurrection. Either lines all over his body from having the life force sucked out of him or birth/burn marks on his face. I think this would be hilarious, angsty, and interesting. I also hate when people are just resurrected willynilly. LET THE TRAUMA OF DYING AND COMING BACK TAKE ITS TOLE. Especially if it’s multiple times.

In MK: Midnight Mission they, pretty recently, came up against this problem with the MK system being resurrected over and over again and facing really no visible consequences. But then we find out, there isn’t really a limit(ignoring the whole Khonshu imprisonment), but eventually mentally, there will be nothing left to resurrect. And the mindless mummy warrior creatures we meet from Khonshu’s ‘world’ were old avatars that wasted away from resurrections. It explains the alterations and perversions of the MK system’s mental conditions, because they are actively being altered and changed, to be brought back, by a multidimensional creature that doesn’t care about their mental health/state(that Khonshu takes advantage of, knowing what he’s doing). Sound familiar?

Now, time to get philosophical. Ship of Theseus.

What is it? Ship of Theseus is an ideological/philosophy problem about a king, Theseus, who saved the children of Athens from king Minos and the Minotaur and then sailed his ship to Delos. Then each year Athenians would sail that same ship from Athens to Delos in celebration of the myth. Over time they kept replacing parts of the ship for maintenance purposes, till every plank had been replaced, so they could still make the voyage. Now the question is, is it still the same ship? At what point did it stop becoming that original ship? And does it matter?

Applying this philosophical exercise to resurrection, with what we know above, we can get an interesting dialogue going. But, with that said, it’s important to keep in mind that the resurrection process in this context with these multidimensional gods isn’t explained with enough detail to really take it apart. Like what happens to the soul? Is the brain damage we know Marc has from repeatedly dying and his brain repeatedly going without oxygen or is it from just interacting with a multidimensional god? Is the spider god comparable to Khonshu? Is the spider god even real, if not what or how was Peter actually resurrected? And if it is real, what is its main goal? At least with Khonshu we know he has an agenda. What does it want, what’s its end game?

But let’s get into it anyways.

Now, you may be wondering, why do I keep saying multiple resurrections in regards to Spider noir? I am so glad you asked! I believe Peter's initial spider bite killed him. He had to go to the afterlife to actually see the spider god. That’s why we really only see them three times, at the initial power conception, Peter’s resurrection, and when Peter goes to the ‘underworld’ in the 2020 run. We see something similar with Khonshu in Midnight mission, while he’s in space jail, Marc can only see him during resurrections or while he’s dead. And while we’re comparing the MK system to spider noir, when Marc got his powers, he basically had to die first. That was implied to be his first resurrection. So this wouldn’t be a one off situation. We have some rules.

What we don’t see with Moonknight and Khonshu is visual physical change. Outside of the ghost bird skull armor the boys aren’t visually changing. Meanwhile, Peter has physically turned into a monster before and turned completely back. In #4/5 of the 2020 noir run the cicada stone/pink meteor turns people into monsters, but not everyone. Huma turns, Shocker turns, Peter turns, and all the resurrected villains(one guy just explodes). But Hu-Ri and Checkpoint Red don’t, until Hu-Ri touches the stone. Huma and Peter are both in close proximity to eldritch beings, them turning into inspired versions of those beings make sense. The Shocker turns because he spent so much time holding onto the stone, whereas Red hasn't. But notice Shocker and Hu-Ri don’t turn into an animal inspired version of themselves like Huma and Peter do, he becomes more of a hulk like creature, because he isn’t attached to an other-worldly being. And when Peter turned back he essentially said “that hurt like a bitch” and kept moving.

If we want to keep with the canon noir timeline and going with the idea that the Spider god is either continuously changing Peter, or just changing him during resurrections this would explain the webbing and mood/personality change from the 2009 comics to the 2020 comics. But that’s boring and too simple and I hate the time jump so fuck that shit.(again another post).

So let’s focus back on ‘Ship of Theseus’ in the context of resurrection. We have too many questions about the process of resurrection for spider noir to properly have this conversation, but I’m going to try anyways. Let’s hit what we know again: resurrection changes your brain chemistry/structure, the spider god is changing Peter throughout the series, Peter has possibly had three resurrections, the spider god resurrected Peter from a different dimension, which confirms this is a multidimensional being(if she exists but shhhh). So now that we’ve established that there are changes happening to Peter(one way or another) we know that the spider god is ‘repairing’ Peter throughout the series or ‘replacing his boards’ so to speak.

At what point is this no longer Peter? Is it when he is no longer recognizable as a human? Or is it when there is nothing left in his mind to resurrect? Or has this never been Peter, or rather not since his first resurrection when he got his powers? Is this change sudden or slow? Is it the resurrection that turns him into something else, is it slow build up like an Iodine Clock titration and one day he just wakes up no longer human, or is it a slow process of subtle changes? But if the latter, what’s the change that does it? What defines Peter’s humanity? Does it matter if he’s human or not? Does it change anything for him if he’s no longer human in body and mind?

Part of the answer may lie in the villains we see through the 2009 and 2020 runs. In the first run the main villains were the Goblin and the Vulture. Both who were implied to not be human or having physical inhuman qualities(but I’m partially ignoring the whole carney thing cause honestly it’s ableist and boring). In Eyes Without A Face, the second run, the main villains are the Crime Master and Dr. Octavious, both humans with no inhuman or supernatural qualities. For simplicity sake, let’s focus on Octavious and Goblin. In comparing the two I think most people would agree Octavious is the more heinous of the two. Goblin takes on the role of a mob boss. He runs a crime empire, exploiting the defenseless in New york. It’s nothing new and he’s even somewhat sympathetic ‘I’m finished with freakshows’, you can understand how he got where he is. This is not to say he isn’t a villain but he very much fits the ‘villain with a tragic backstory’. People look at him like he is a monster, we, the reader, start out the story knowing what he is.

Whereas Octavious is not even remotely sympathetic because there is no empathizing with how he ended up there and why he does what he does. He is not only othered by his actions but also by the narrative for his disability(it’s important to acknowledge the ableism in his story but that is another post). Ultimately his delusions and the acts he commits make him a much more sinister monster than Norman, despite Norman actually having stereotypical qualities of a monster.

Then we have Huma and Shocker from the 2020 run. Huma is the closest person we see who is in a similar situation to Peter in terms of the spider god. While we don’t know all the details, whether she is the same as Peter, bearing a curse of power, or the actual god. Either way she presents as human and is not treated differently than any other human woman. At the end of the series we realize how corrupt she is and that she’s been working with Nazi’s, not necessarily for the ideology but to achieve what she wants. Her transformation is the nail in her coffin of her monsterous perception. The question is did we need her to look like a monster to see her as one?

In general we are left with more questions and theories than answers.

But onto my subjective answers to the questions. My answers might change over time so don’t hold me to them.

Of course it matters if Peter has humanity. Peter Parker across the board is one of the characters who HAS to hold himself to a moral code or he falls apart and becomes the villain(well maybe not the villain but you know what I mean) of the story. He holds back during fights and has a no kill policy for a reason.(Good men don’t need rules, today is not the day to find out why I have so many.-dr.who) But noir Peter isn’t your typical Peter. He kills, he maims, he doesn’t hold back. With that said, he still is held together by his morality. It’s just different than what we are used to seeing from Peter, but don’t mistake that as a lack of morality. However, do I think it’s a very real possibility that this morality could be eroded over time especially considering his home world and the above circumstances? Absolutely. Peter is someone who historically needs someone to ground him and ‘make’ him human. This is normally May Parker, Mary Jane, Gwen Stacy, occasionally Harry Osborn, Daredevil, Johnny Storm, and Flash Thompson, and the ghost of Ben Parker. Dude lives by a passing saying of a dead relative, he clearly doesn’t have a super solid moral compass. I think this is part of the reason the noir comics kept his relationship with May and Mary Jane(I disagree but whatever whatever), because he needs support to stay grounded.

Now, under what circumstances is Peter no longer Peter? I’m going with the Iodine Clock titration theory. Just drop after drop of ‘changes’ and morally questionable decisions that don’t seem to hold much weight, until he does something truly off the reservation. Like seeing himself do something truly horrific that a couple years ago he would have never done and shocking himself out of it. Or looks in the mirror and doesn’t see a person staring back. For either circumstance, because he’s appalled with himself or struck by the fact he doesn’t really care. This is not to say I don’t think he could come back from this but holy shit will it be a process.

But it brings us back to ‘If there is too much power then it is the responsibility of the people to take it away.’ Peter losing his humanity puts him in the Goblin’s place as the one with great power that cannot be trusted from the first comic. Whether it’s the resurrections, the spider god ‘replacing’ parts of him, or him just being pushed to the brink mentally that does it. Whether the change is physical, neurological, spiritual, or mental. This ‘Peter’ is not the Peter we first meet in 1932.

This is a different ship, and you can sail and stay on the same course in memory of, or under the false pretense of being, the original as many times as you want, but you cannot bring back the parts you replaced and undo the ‘improvements’ you made. But that doesn’t need to make Peter a monster.

[nie7027]

{{I've had this draft saved literally since April 18th 2019 but I didn't post it back then because I wanted to finish the super5 headcanons first... which i of course havent done.

But I think it's finally time I post it.

I reread it recently and I don't think it's as spoilery of other wips as I had initially and thought and its related to the other stuff I'm gonna post soon so why not use it as a preview for it?

Anyway it finally is here. I hope you enjoy this tiny list of headcanons}}

Mob psychobook headcanons

These could actually apply to any social red but Psychobook is the one i know besides Tumblr (and no, none of them have tumblr...maybe just Seri)

Teru's

Teru's used to be the typical popular kid psychobook where used to he the typical popular kid psychobook where he posted pics of the parties he went("Crazy night guys, thanks for inviting me!), his soccer matches ("Another victory for Vinegars soccer team. You are welcome~") and trainings(even some from his personal training when it didnt end that bad), the food he ate at the new trendy coffe he went and the obligatory selfie every couple of days that will make his notifications blow up everytime with likes and comments

Now he sometimes still does those but he posts mostly pics of nice sights he finds on his bicycle routes, pics of him hanging with his friends/new family or the lastest fuck up Reigen did

He, Shou and Tome are invested in a meme competition. Whoever makes Mob laugh the loudest wins. Sadly they have to be with him so he can see them.

Rarely Terus posts a pic of him & Mob (or Mob alone) with the emoji equivalent of a gay keysmash and when he does it drives crazy the whole alumnae of Vinegar middle school, everybody wondering who is that bland looking guy and what Teru meant by that.

Mob's

Mob's used to be empty but now it's filled with pics Tome posts of their karaoke outings, pics where the body improvement club tag him and Terus, shous and tomes memes

But he rarely uses it and doesnt get to see them. Still he likes the milk memes teru found (do those even exist?)

Thats why he doesnt know he has basically become the body improvements star. Captain musashi and the others tend to photos of him with inspirational quotes (warrio male kind of) in the club page to attract new reclutees

After terus mysterious post a swarm of Vinegar students tried to add him as friend

But Mob thinks they are internet weirdos and ignores their invitation

It's actually Dimple who uses it more

Ritsu's

Ritsus used to be th pristine psychobook profile proper of a student council member. He had added the majority of the school and he made posts of the schools next event, resolutions the council had reached after their last session or answered any question any student could have but was to shy to personally ask.

His most personal post where the seldom book quotes he posted from the lastest book he read and liked.

Everything changed with Shou

The students didnt know who he was but suddenly this random kid started to tag Ritsu in even more random posts(most of them hamster related...Ritsu liked all of them?) and post pics of him AND RITSU doing the weirdest things you could imagine

Theres a pic of Ritsu with the most ridiculous susprised face(thats the most expressive people have seen him?? Whats going on?) in front of a microwave in flames. The fact shou edited it with a caption saying "And he didnt believe me eggs could explode" didnt help

Theres another of them hangin at the tallest part of the city (people dont undertsmad how is that even possible? You cant even acces that area)

And theres even a blurry pic that looks like they are running away from a police car

Shinji, who knows whats Ritsu is truly capable of, likes each of those pics

Everybody in Salt middle school is confused. But the only thing they get is Ritsus "Sorry" to Kamuro when the council president makes a blank comment in the infamous police pic.

They quickly recognize Shou as the kid that sometimes flies(yeah FLIES) besides Ritsus classroom or sneaks in the school

Shou's

The only reason Shou made a psychobook profile was to keep in contact with the espers that helped him during the domination arc

But he quickly realizes how useful it is to annoy Ritsu when he is bored

Besides the memes and Ritsu pics, his psychobook is full of interesting facts of different animals and reblogs of drawings from artist he follows and tutorials

As Mob he was invaded by a swarm of vinegar students once he appears in one of Terus pics. He accepts all of them the same way he accepted Ritsus classmates. It ends well for him because that way his drawing are seen by many peoplea and he receives lots of likes.

It takes a while but he finally unblocks Seri one day. Seri likes each and every thing he posts and makes encouraging comments on his drawings.

Serizawa's

Seri had a profile during his isolation days where he added many "friends" (random internet weirdos) with whom he talked about the things he liked and the media he consumed

Once he rejoins society with the Spirits and such cre he makes a new personal profile

He only has his family, the spirits and such crew, his school friends and the super5 added but thats all he needs

He follows many cooking and baking pages and once he learns to cook he saves the recipes he wants to try

He doesnt know if he cried more the day Shou unblocked him or they day Teru put him as his dad.

Minegishis

Minegishi only has the super5, Mob Ritsu, Tome and his coworkers added as friends

He follows many pages about plants and how to take care of them and pages that post downloadable audiobooks for Shimazaki

He rarely posts but he likes all the posts where he is tagged.

His elder coworkers tag him in lovely pictures of flowers with inspirational quotes. He likes those too.

The other super5 make fun of him for this but they secretly like them, especially those that talk about being a good person.

He follows many trolling pages too but never reblogs them. He doesnt want the other to know where he gets some of his humor sense.

Hatori

Hatori follows mostly memes pages, specially those about programming because he can "relate"

He say he understands them. (He doesnt)

He almost fell for the "delete system32 to make you computer faster" joke but his coworkers stopped him. He passed it as him messing around

Shibata's

Shibata follows personal trainers and healthy foods pages

He and Seri swap recipes they find and think the other might like

He saves exercises routines and tries to convince the other super 5 to try them with him.

Specially Hatori, he needs them.

He is only succesful when he finds those routines based on fictional characthers

It doesnt last much

He follows the body improvement club page. He actually sends some of the quotes that end up in some of the Mobs pics.

Shimazaki's

Shimazaki doesnt have a psychobook per se

It's a bot that hatori made to post "uwu" ":3" or "nyas~" every once in a while

The profile pic is the photo they took of Shimazaki wearing the prank glasses

Sometimes the other super5 post photos of their hang outs

"Its our register of Shimazakis progress!" says Hatori

Sometimes it receives messages from internet weirdos and most of them go along the lines of "Weren't you the guy that kidnapped the prime minister?".

The others are horny texts.

They delete all of them.

Tome's

Tomes psychobook can be considered the normalest of the spirits and such crew.

Even though half of her posts are cospirational thories and supposedly aliens sightings

Apart from that she has the normal amount of friends ("Seriously guys, why do you have every random you find added?") and posts a regular amount of pics of her hangouts

Besides the memes. Teru and she share LGBTQ content they find interesting

Seri somehow is the first to know about the lastest news of the videogames they follow and tags her on them

She edits Terus posts of Reigen fuck ups and turns them into memes. The super5, Ritsu and Dimble(using Mobs profile) always like them.

Its on psychobook where she organizes the telepathy club next reunion

She has been nagging Mob and Take to use their psychobooks more so they can see in time what they are planning to do

Takenaka's

Take has enough with the whole wind reading thing. Good luck trying to convince him to make a psychobook profile.

Reigen's

Since his birthday during the separation arc Reigen decided to completeley get away from his psychobook seeing as how little those persons cared for him

But he forgets to delete the app

So one day his phone cant stop blaring with notifications and when Reigen picks it up to see what the hell was going on

He had messages and messages of exfriends congratulating him for his son and saying things like "Wow Reigen, you had it very closeted" "we didnt know you were so private" "who is the lucky mother?"

Teru had put him as his dad

Reigen was having an existencial crisis and needed some comfort so he started searching Seri

Only to find him crying because Teru did the same to him

They ended togeyher as a crying mess sprawled over the couch. Only Dimple got to see them like that

So writing my fanfic "Sunflower" made me think of these headcanons but i couldnt post them then because i hadnt finished the super5 headcanons and didnt want to spoil some things. As you can see this finally shows what Ive been saying of "College funds", "Sunflower" and the "super5 headcanons" taking place in the same universe.

Really, i wrote down a timeline of how these things overlap and can tell you what the s&s crew were doing while shimazaki was fucking around or what the super5 were doing while the crew celebrated terus birthdays.

[azullumi]

Hii, I recently started following your blog and am absolutely in love with your writing! I'm in awe with how you both portray the characters and describe their feelings.

I wish you all the best in your academics!

What do you think about going on a first date with Kaveh?

summary — kaveh and his first date anxieties.

pairing — kaveh/gender-neutral reader

tags — fluff, established relationship, not proofread ; headcanons

words — 920

note — i was supposed to have a different approach on this one but before i knew it, i ended up revolving everything on kaveh but then rereading the ask, i'm glad i did. but anyways! im glad that u love my writing, nonnieee <33 thank u so much for the sweet words and i hope you'll like this! i settled on headcanons so that its easier for me to write and convey the ideas haha

"Do you want to go out sometimes? Maybe for a meal? Oh, wait, I mean, uhh—I just thought it would be nice if we could see each other on days that we are free."

He was the one to initiate an invitation to go out with you even if he just said it out on a whim, a sudden slip of his tongue—as if he hasn't dreamt of taking you out to eat a meal together with you, walk around the city while maybe holding hands, watch the Zubayr Theater's performance for that day, and everything that he wishes.

He's nervous, extremely nervous and anxious. The usually confident and proud man has been reduced to nothing but a small figure of anxiety but honestly, who wouldn't be? Going out on a date with someone who they genuinely and sincerely like, who wouldn't feel uneasy? It was only just the starting point of your relationship and he's only just experiencing his every firsts with you and he wants to make each one of it special.

Even if he has everything already planned out—including the words that he will say and the route that you two will take as he just wants to make sure that everything will go right—he still feels skittish. What if something goes wrong? God, he just wouldn't be able to handle it. 

He spent days preparing for the event, the place that you two will have a meal on, what you will do afterwards, and the place of scenery he will take you to right before the day will end. In short, he's very attentive.

He'll also try on several outfits for the occasion, bringing out the clothing he kept hidden that are only to be used on important events. He just can't go out with you with the set of clothes he wears on a daily basis, can he? It's a special day, a date, to be exact.

Despite the feeling of fear and anxiety filling up his mind, he's still excited and looking forward to the day of the date. He ponders on what you would wear, how you will smile, how you will react upon seeing the things that he did and prepared for you, what will you say, and everything. It feels like falling in love and admiring you from afar all over again, as if he went back to the times wherein the two of you weren't still together and you were the only one in his mind as he wonders about every single thing about you—though it's not like he doesn't fall in love over and over again in his every day with you.

And then the day came. 

“Kaveh!” “Don’t run, (Name)!”

If he hadn’t been holding on to the thin thread of his sanity and balance, he would have fallen on his knees because of how weak he feels after seeing you dolled up. Expect to be showered with compliments and being flattered by him in every moment—he just could never get enough of how lovely and attractive you look and he wants you to know it.

He’ll proceed with the plans that he laid out for the day inside his head and though you couldn’t say that it went by smoothly, everything was definitely perfect and amazing for you. Every moment, every second you spent with him felt magical and didn’t fail to put a smile on your face the whole time you were with him—seeing your delighted expression and cheerful demeanor made him feel proud and pleased for himself.

The first date wasn’t simply just to increase the intimacy and closeness between you two but to also get to know what you like, what you favor, and what you prefer the most over anything so each time he sees you happy and pleasant over something—like your attention being caught by a certain figure or object in the street and being struck by it— he takes a mental note and makes sure to not forget it.

Throughout the day, you two were close to each other and were even either holding one another’s hand or you had your arm linked with his as you walked around. Outside, he may appear that he’s fine and cool with it but inside he is actually screaming and having an inner monologue fight with himself about what he should do: if he should squeeze your hand or pull you much closer to him or if he should just let you be.

He doesn’t want to part ways with you when the day ends and the date has come to its conclusion and as much as he tries to lengthen and stalls the time he gets to spend with you, he still has to say goodbye in the end. However, give him a quick kiss on the cheek, forehead, or wherever you wish before you two part and he will have a stupid grin plastered on his face as he walks back to his home.

He doesn’t rest but rather thinks of where you two will have a date next, staying up all night while staring at his ceiling and daydreaming of you. Perhaps a picnic in the forest in the afternoon while you two wait for the sun to set would do or maybe going to a spot with beautiful scenery like a lake he found hidden in the forest that looks so magical with the crystalflies and butterflies fluttering their wings around the area? Nevertheless, he’s looking forward to it all.

© azullumi — do not plagiarize, copy, repost, nor translate any of my works.