#i did not expect to be asked about stage lighting experience

[allalrightagain]

I see a lot of writing advice that I don’t click with, but the idea that you need to know everything about your character up to and including favorite colors and high school subjects always seems so unnecessary, because like, when is that ever relevant?

In unrelated news, my high school extracurriculars just came up in a job interview.

[kingdomvel]

Steddie | 2.2k | first meetings | ao3

“What did you say the name of the band is again?” Steve asks. He has to raise his voice above the sound of the music playing before the concert and the hundreds of conversations around him.

“Corroded Coffin” Dustin says, probably for the hundredth time, or that’s what his tone suggests.

“It’s written on the drums.” Mike adds with his constant bitchy petulant tone.

Steve turns around and fair enough, the name is written there in the drums. They are also right there as they had queued for hours to be at the front (they are not in the centre but there’s no one standing in front of them), and apparently the band and place are small enough that there is no security line in front of the stage. Steve has been leaning against it with a drink in his hand while they wait for the concert to start. And that’s his excuse. He was leaning against the stage, so the drums were to his back, he couldn’t have read them.

“C’mon Steve, even I learned the name of the band in the eternity we have been here” Robin says which, rude, but she had agreed to come keep him company at a metal concert without asking for anything in return, so he will let it pass.

The kids (not quite kids anymore, but close enough) had needed an adult to get into the 18+ venue the concert was held at, and of course that adult had to be Steve because “we are not going to bring one of our parents into a metal concert Steve” and “Nancy and Jonathan are not even in the state and you said you were fun, didn’t you?” and he is fun, so he had to agree. And drag Robin with him, of course.

“Well I would remember the name if it wasn’t a stupid name” he says, a bit too loud if the looks he receives from some of the people around them are anything to go by.

“If you are so annoyed why don’t you go hang out at the bar and leave us alone?” Dustin asks.

“If I’m at a concert I’m getting the full experience, I’ve not queued for hours to stay at the bar. And I have to make sure you don’t get squished to death or accept drinks from strangers.”

“We are sixteen, you already drank when you were sixteen.”

“But I didn’t have a wristband telling everyone I was a minor.” He emphasizes this by hooking his forefinger on said wristband around Dustin’s wrist. The boy takes his hand away with a huff, but whatever he was going to say gets interrupted by a loud cheer as the lights of the venue dim. All eyes turn to the stage, and Steve forgets everything about the little shits around him.

They play the first two songs without interruption, back to back, and they are much better than Steve had expected them to be when the kids had pitched the idea of going to a concert of ‘a super cool band’ they had found on tiktok of all places. Steve is very quick to understand their raising popularity on social media the moment his eyes land on the frontman. He is not even wearing anything scandalous, just black jeans, some graphic tee and a leather jacket, but fuck if he isn’t attractive. His big eyes, teasing smile and wild hair are very much deserving of the screams they awake in the audience.

When the second song finishes, they don’t start a new one, the frontman takes the microphone from the stand.

“Are you ready for the best night of your life?” he shouts, and the audience answers with shouts of their own. Steve finds himself whooping, and answers with a smile and a shrug to Robin’s amused silent question as both of them clap. “We are Corroded Coffin,” more yelling, and the frontman stars walking around with a smile on his lips while he looks at the ground, clearly enjoying the attention. “And these aaaaaare…” he prolongs the last word, building a dramatic effect. “Gareth!” he shouts, pointing to the back dramatically. There are yells, the boy at the drums doing a short solo before he stands up to wave at the audience. “Jeff!” more yells, a guitar solo. “Our favourite Freak!” laughs from band and audience alike, more yells, and the boy with the bass trying to hit the frontman with said bass. “And I’m Eddie.”

‘Eddie’ Steve mouths the name.

There are yells as the frontman finishes, a small bashful smile on his lips back on his face after the laughing as he plays with the microphone stand with the hand that is not currently holding the microphone. He looks up at the audience when the yells don’t stop, gives a small dramatic bow and smirks when the yells grow louder once again.

“EDDIE MARRY ME” a voice yells from somewhere in the audience.

“Oh? Without going on a date first?” Eddie asks, he has his gaze set somewhere on the audience, and Steve is a bit impressed at how easily he has spot the person in the sea of bodies.

“I’M FREE WHENEVER.” The same voice yells again, it makes Eddie laugh.

“I’m honoured, my fair lady, but I’ll have to decline. I’m looking for my knight in shining armour myself.” There are ooohs from the audience but Steve’s gut makes a traitorous interested twist. “And speaking of knights,” he says, putting his hands back on his guitar, “I think you may know this one.” One note, and the audience is going crazy. Dustin is jumping up and down while he holds onto Steve’s arm, and Steve can’t help but laugh at him.

It's when that third song is finishing that it happens. The guitarist is starting a solo, and Eddie looks down to the base of the microphone stand, pulls a confused face, and then looks around. He must not see whatever he was looking for because he has a confused furrow in his brow when he does a second sweep around the stage and beyond, and he catches Steve's eyes. He maintains the eye contact for a second, two, five, and then looks down to Steve’s hands and back up again. There is a smirk in his face Steve is not entirely sure he likes the implications of as he walks towards him while he keeps playing.

Steve can hear Dustin screaming “oh my god, oh my god, oh my god” right next to his ear as Eddie comes closer until he is standing right in front of them.

The musician is still looking at Steve as he leans forward and asks “give me a sip?” as he looks down at Steve’s hands for a second. (Or at least that’s what Steve guesses he says, the noise too loud for him to really hear him without his mic.)

Steve lifts his drink, and the frontman leans forward and down with a smile. He opens his mouth and Steve pours his drink in it. When he finishes, he winks at Steve before he walks away in time to start singing again. The kids around him are screaming, Robin is surely going to make him partially deaf and is shaking him so hard he almost drops the rest of his drink. It takes until the next song starts for the bunch to calm down a bit and focus on the show again.

The thing is, that is not the last time it happens. Eddie comes back to steal sips from his drink every few verses, and when Steve’s drink is finished and he goes to get a beer, he is miraculously let back to the front by the audience. Eddie, of course, also wants to have his share of the beer. So they share it.

It is, if Steve is honest, the weirdest experience he has ever had in a concert. But he is having too much fun and would not change it for anything. A hot singer and guitarist coming to him every few minutes and bending down so Steve can pour drink into his mouth? The best thing that has happened to him all month. It only gets better when Eddie ditches his leather jacket – Steve was starting to wonder when that was going to happen because it’s much too hot in the venue for it and he is sure that a big reason Eddie needs to drink so much is because he is sweating it all and dehydrating – and reveals that the tee he was wearing underneath has the sleeves cut off very freely. Steve can see most of the man’s torso and that is a SIGHT. There are tattoos on his arms and ribcage that Steve immediately wants to see complete, and his waist is slim where the shirt is tucked into the jeans. It makes Steve bite his lip in want.

He is about to pour the last of their third beer in Eddie’s mouth when a small hand stops him. He looks to the side with confusion, sure that none of the kids or Robin would stop him at this point and is met with the smile of a small blonde girl.

“Give him this please” she says, handing him a bottle of an electrolyte drink. Steve looks back at Eddie just in time to see him groaning. “No more beer.” She adds, pointing to Eddie as if he was a misbehaving dog, he is surely giving the look, with his big brown eyes and sad look. She turns back to Steve, “and sorry about that, any new drinks you get are on us.”

She is gone with that. Steve looks at Eddie, at the new drink in his hand. Eddie shrugs, defeated, and leans forward. Steve quickly empties the rest of the beer in his mouth before he opens the new bottle and starts pouring from it. Eddie doesn’t drink much, too busy trying not to choke on the beer and his laughter.

Eddie ditches his guitar towards the end of the concert for a ‘calmer’ song. He walks around the stage as he sings to a boy involved in him that tries to deny the depth of their relationship and tries to date girls, and how in the future he is going to regret not staying with him. He has great stage presence, he has been flirting with the audience between songs, dramatic and charismatic, a bit over the top. Maybe the fastest crush Steve has ever developed, happy to enjoy his part in the show, even when he knows it’s not going to lead anywhere.

Steve feels his heart accelerating as Eddie walks towards him, which is ridiculous, they have been doing this all night. But this time Eddie shakes his head when Steve gets the drink ready, and he can only look as he kneels on the edge of he stage right in front of him as he sings the bridge. They are holding eye contact now, and it’s the closest they have been. Eddie’s eyes are captivating, Steve can only stop looking at them to glance down at his lips. It seems he was caught, because the next second Eddie is speaking.

“Are we about to kiss right now?” he asks, and Steve looks back up to his eyes. He lifts his eyebrows, trying to convey ‘bring it on’ as best as he can as he licks his lips, Eddie’s eyes glancing at them. It must work, because the next second Eddie is leaning forward, and now Steve’s hand is on his nape, and their lips are pressing against each other.

It’s probably the filthiest kiss Steve has participated on. At least with an audience. It’s not long, Eddie has to keep singing after all, but they make up for it in tongue action. The audience goes crazy around them, but Steve doesn’t pay attention to them at all, only focused on Eddie. He at least must be paying some attention to their surroundings because he pulls off in time to keep singing and stands up to move around the stage.

There are a couple of songs more, and then Eddie is introducing the band again before he starts listing all the members of the staff that have made the concert possible.

“We also wouldn’t have made it here without our precious manager Chrissy,” he adds, “even when she worries too much sometimes. Three beers are not enough to get me drunk, especially not shared ones. And that reminds me! I can’t forget to thank my knight in shining armour, my perfect drink partner…” he trails off.

“STEVE!” Robin shouts next to him.

“Steve” Eddie repeats with a smile. “Thank you for the drinks. Don’t go running off now too fast now, alright? Stay for a bit after the concert, I owe you a couple of beers.” He finishes with a wink.

The kids and Robin are screaming again, and Steve is sure he is going to have bruises tomorrow from their grabbing, but he doesn’t stray his gaze from Eddie. At least not until the last song finishes, the lights from the stage turn off, and the rest of the lights of the venue turn on. Then, and only then, Steve turns towards the others.

“How did you say you were going to get back home again?”

[ceesimz]

Wallflower

Autistic Reader x Barça Femení

The main story can be found here, this is just a small one shot I had the idea for :)

Birthdays. What a massive inconvenience.

Actually, scratch that. You enjoyed other people's birthdays, just not your own. In fact, it was your worst nightmare. One of the most dreaded days of the year.

Having all of the attention on you? Having gifts and envelopes and surprises forced your way? People singing to you? God, it made you sick to your stomach just thinking about it.

Not to sound ungrateful, of course. The idea that people liked you enough to make a fuss of you did spark something in your heart, but it was too much. In the nicest way possible, it was utterly overwhelming, and often at some point during the day, there would be tears. Possibly a shutdown too, or  even a meltdown of some kind. 

All in all, it was a terrifying experience no matter how you spent it.

Now double that, triple it again, multiply it by ten, and that's how it felt waking up on your first birthday at Barcelona. 

For the whole month so far, you had near enough begged Ingrid to make sure the team doesn't do anything excessive. You needed the day to be as normal as possible, just so you could get through it. And to be fair to her, with a sad smile, she had promised that your wishes would be met. 

So waking up alone to an empty flat on the dreaded day was both calming and uncomfortable. You'd asked for it, obviously, so had to get over it. You showered, got dressed into your training gear, and sat down on the sofa whilst waiting for Ingrid to arrive. Again, it was just like any other day. If you ignored the way your phone vibrated every few minutes, that is. And the stomach-churning anxiety that only increased as time went on.

There was a knock on the door and, expecting it to be Ingrid, you shouted for her to come in. Except, it wasn't her. Though you couldn't really be too disgruntled by the surprise guest.

“Good morning, cariño. Can I come in?” Alexia peered around the door cautiously, smiling hopefully over at you. 

With a solemn nod, she quickly stepped in and closed the door behind her. In her arms was a bouquet containing some of the flowers you had gawked at way back when on your first date with her. That was a few weeks ago now, and being in the early stages of a relationship did have its difficulties, but only due to the adjustment of it. Everything else was, well, perfect. Alexia was perfect. 

But having her, your girlfriend, show up unannounced on your birthday wasn't the worst thing in the world, you supposed.

���Is it okay that I'm here?” She asked nervously, pausing a few feet away from you.

“It is.” You smiled shyly up at her, standing so you could greet her properly. 

In an instant, there was a cheesy grin on her face, and she placed the flowers down gently on your coffee table before lifting you off the ground into a tight hug.

“Happy birthday, mi amor.” She whispered before scattering light kisses from your neck, up to your cheek, down along your jaw, and reaching her final destination, sealing her greeting with a soft kiss to your lips. “How are you feeling?”

“Stressed. Anxious.” You laughed nervously, leaning into her hand when she puts you down and cups your cheek.

“That’s okay. I… I haven’t made you feel worse by showing up, right? I can go if you would prefer.” With a silent shake of your head, you wrapped your arms back around her and buried your face in her shoulder. She smiled and happily complied, keeping you close to her. “Then I will stay.”

“I’m really glad you came.” You stated, slightly muffled by the material of her jumper. “Thank you.”

“No, no need to thank me. It is my girlfriend's birthday, and I will always show up for her if she lets me.” 

She voiced her determination to love you, even though those three words hadn't been said aloud by either of you yet. You were sure of it; the warmth you got in your chest was the first time an all-consuming feeling didn't feel quite so terrifying. It was at first, the initial realisation was something that kept you up at night for a few days, until one morning it clicked and all that was left was serenity and security in your feelings. Telling her such was an entirely different challenge.

After her latest admission, it took everything in you to keep those words inside rather than spilling straight out.

“Will you drive me to training?” You asked, seemingly out of nowhere. But, with so much running through your mind, so much weighing on you today, it was easier to stick to the simpler things rather than focus on all the stuff that’s overwhelming in that moment. The day still felt like a mountainous obstacle to get over, hence your need for simplicity and slight dissociative nature. 

“Of course. Have Mapi and Ingrid been yet?” Alexia said, watching as you pulled away and slumped down onto the sofa again, your legs pressed up against your chest and your arms folding around them. You shook your head no, to which she nodded and collected the flowers again to put them in a vase.

“Thank you for the flowers, Ale.” You mumbled, resting your chin on your knee whilst watching her and fidgeting with the TV remote. She smiled over at you from the kitchen before turning back to the bouquet, spreading some of the flowers out a little and leaving them on the kitchen counter. 

Another thing about your birthday, though it had only developed once you got into your teenage years, was that receiving gifts from people caused a lot of anxiety. When the dust settled, the sentiment behind each gift one was something you treasured. But getting them and opening them was an event you worried about much more than the average person- was your reaction what they wanted? Did you thank them enough? Did you come across as rude and ungrateful? There was just too much to think about.

With Alexia, you didn’t have to stress about any of those things. She was great at reading you by now, she knew what version she would get and when. And yet, her adoration still never faltered. You had come to know her just as well as she knew you, so you were sure she had gotten you other presents than just a bouquet of flowers (though they were more than enough for you) and that she was just waiting for the right time to give you her proper gifts. That, you were grateful for. 

“De nada, amor.” Alexia murmured as she sat down beside you and wrapped an arm around your shoulders. Instantly, you curled into her side, smiling when her lips pressed against your temple in a soft kiss. “Training will be okay, you know. I understand it is the unknown that makes you anxious, but once you have a ball at your feet, it will all calm down. Try to remind yourself that, okay?”

“I just hate the anticipation, the waiting. Want to get it over and done with.” You sighed, relishing in the comfort Alexia provides just by being beside you.

“I know. Time isn’t kind.” Alexia whispered, taking one of your hands with her free one and squeezing it. “You wanna skip breakfast at training?”

You raised your head quickly at her question, not even knowing that idea was a possibility.

“People won’t be mad if I do? That I won’t be there?” You checked, because if you could get away with doing such a thing, it’d get rid of a mighty chunk of your worries.

Being seated in the canteen with everyone at Barcelona on the one day dedicated to you was terrifying really. There would be expectations, possible celebrations, and the eyes of everyone would surely be on you. They meant well, you knew that of course, but that unfortunately didn’t make it any less frightening. Breakfast was a social event, for some hell-sent reason, whereas training was a professional setting, it was work. Avoiding it altogether would be a dream, except you know the mass disappointment it’d cause. And everybody knows how that ends.

“No one would be mad, cariño. They would understand.” Alexia physically felt the tension leave you under her hands at that, your body deflating as you let out a breath of relief. You moved to wrap your arms around Alexia’s torso then, and leaned up to kiss her cheek.

“Thank you, Ale. Thank you, thank you, thank you.” You said, punctuated with yet more kisses.

All those weeks ago, Alexia had been right. Having someone by your side did make a lot of things so much easier. It was like night and day. You recognised the difference in yourself since you had met her, and you never knew it was possible for you to grow like this. With the move from Germany to Spain, you were well aware that there would be some changes for you, but the unknown came into play again. Would those changes be progression or regression? Evidently, and to your relief, it was progression. Your dream of thriving here was fast on its way to becoming true.

“Feliz cumpleaños, preciosa!” A certain Spaniard bellowed the second she opened your door, giving you and Alexia slight heart attacks.

“Mapi, dios mío! Why!?” Alexia groaned, you giggling beside her as you could hear her heart racing at the jumpscare so kindly given by the shorter woman.

“I warned her, she did not listen.” Ingrid sighed with feigned annoyance, but the second she looked over at you, there was a beaming smile on her face. “Come here, søster!”

Sheepishly, you unwound yourself from Alexia’s hold and walked over to Ingrid, laughing when she squished your cheeks together and kissed your forehead before embracing you tightly.

“Happy birthday!” Ingrid squealed, grunting when her girlfriend’s gangly arms flung around you both. Mapi squeezed you both together before looking over at Alexia who was watching the interaction fondly, still seated on the sofa.

“Ale, come join.” Mapi demanded, only for her to shake her head and wave the defender off. Mapi wasn’t having it though. She left the hug for a moment and grabbed her friend by the wrist to drag her over, before manually moving Alexia’s arms to wrap around the three of you. “Stop being a party pooper, Alexia. Get that grumpy look off your face, we know you are enjoying this.”

“Yeah, Ale.” You looked to your side at her with a teasing smile, the love radiating off of the both of you when your eyes met. Ingrid could feel it, Mapi could feel it. You were possibly the only two in the world opting out of acknowledging it.

After the impromptu group hug, Ingrid went over to the bag she had brought and unpacked a load of your favourite pastries. You knew she was making them for you, but in your anxious daze of the morning so far you’d entirely forgotten about them. The way your face lit up at the sight was enough for Ingrid’s day to be made and for Alexia’s heart to run wild in her chest. All four of you sat down at the dining table to share them since Ingrid had made enough for everybody, and like always you mostly stayed quiet and let the other three carry the conversation. You’d drop in every now and then, but most of the time you just liked to listen. They all knew that by now and were more than happy to keep the chat flowing, until it was time to leave for training.

Having Alexia drive you there had its advantages and disadvantages, and you were well versed with them by now. Being a passenger meant you were free to get caught up in your thoughts, which could either go really well or really bad. Meanwhile, being the driver meant you had to focus on the road, forcing the doubts to be silent. Yet, sometimes not having the chance to mentally work through what was stressing you out only made the situation worse.

In this instance, you had no time for overthinking when Alexia was emphatically singing along to any song that played on the radio, keeping you entertained and distracted for pretty much the whole journey.

It was a completely different story once you arrived though.

Alexia near enough had to lead you through the building and into the locker room, her hand on your back as a comforting reminder. Thankfully you managed to get there without bumping into anyone since the pair of you were some of the first to arrive. The only teammates you had seen so far were Ona, Aitana, and Jana, but they hadn’t seen you. Alexia had laughed when you ducked behind her dramatically, using her as a cover to stay hidden as they walked ahead of you both. They took a left turn to go to the canteen, whilst you headed in the other direction. 

You sat down at your cubby and slumped back against the wall, body sagging with relief. Alexia smiled softly and took her seat a few down the line, and the pair of you both booted up in comfortable silence. 

Being captain of the team, the midfielder obviously had the authority to get her team to listen to her. Without making much of a deal out of it, herself and Ingrid had discreetly gone around the team to ensure there were no surprises or big occasions prepared without your knowledge. Instead, they were taking a much more low-key approach that they hoped would convey just how overjoyed they were to have you on their team.

She sat not too far from you with the knowledge of what the surprise was, and she was probably the most excited out of the lot for you to receive it. It was nothing big, in fact most of the team worried it was too little, but having known you for so long Ingrid had reassured them there wasn’t really anything you would appreciate more than the gesture they had in mind. Some of the members you were slightly closer with had decided on small gifts of their own they would give to you in their own time, but for today, they would stick with their collective plan and hope for the best. 

“You ready for me to beat you at free-kicks?” Alexia grinned once she was ready, standing as she tied her hair back into her usual updo.

“I’ve beat you the last two times we’ve done this, I wouldn’t get too cocky.” You smirked, squirming when she squeezed your sides as you walked past her. “Plus, it’s my birthday.”

“Oh no, you don’t get to pull that card. I’m definitely going to win now.”

For just over half an hour, you got invested in a free-kick contest with none other than La Reina herself. It had become somewhat of a tradition now, to the point where you had even made a points system for it. The further out you went, or the harder the angle, the more points you scored. A few months back, after Alexia had caught you once again avoiding breakfast, she had suggested the pair of you practise free-kicks after she had missed one in the game before that day. It quickly became a thing for you both, getting so competitive with each other and scoring goal after goal in the secluded morning sessions together, that a points system just had to be introduced after two draws in a row. Neither of you had looked back since. Those moments together, with a ball at your feet and the quiet company of the other, had become something you both looked forward to. 

Unfortunately, Alexia beat you this time, by just one point. One. And she was gloating like she’d gotten another Ballon d’Or.

“I told you, cariño. Just because it is your day doesn’t mean I will go easy on you.” She shrugged arrogantly, wandering back over to where you stood with your arms crossed petulantly over your chest. She grinned at the unimpressed look on your face, raising a hand to poke at the corner of your mouth. “Smile, amor!”

With a scoff, you swatted her hand away and turned to walk over to where your drink lay on the sidelines. Not a second later, you heard her jogging after you before two arms wound around your waist and a chin rested on your shoulder.

“You know I should have won that. You put me off.” You grumbled, referring to the moment she had crept up behind you and made a weird noise right by your ear just as you stepped off to take the kick.

“No no no, there was just a bug on your shoulder. I had to protect my girlfriend.” She said, grunting when you lightly jabbed your elbow back into her stomach.

“Protect me from what? A tiny fly? You are the only irritating little bug I need saving from.” You argued. As you picked up your own bottle, you got Alexia’s too, only you dropped it purposely when she went to take it from you. “What comes around, goes around, Alexia.”

Alexia wasn’t quick enough to come up with her own payback before the rest of the team started filing out for the actual training session. First came Esmee on her own, who, at the sight of you, immediately lit up and came over. Quietly, without making too much of a fuss, she wished you a happy birthday before hugging you. She was just as shy as you sometimes, so she left it at that. Ultimately though, being on a team of people that mostly came from affectionate countries, they all couldn’t resist. Funnily enough, you didn’t hate it. The hugs, the well wishes, the toothy grins sent your way, the cheek kisses and pats on the back were welcomed. It wasn’t overbearing, or too much, it made you feel… loved. And appreciated.

For the first time in your career, it didn't feel entirely fake either. Not that your other teams didn’t shower you in their gratitude, but it always felt like there was a barrier between you and them. Like you weren’t fully with them. You knew exactly why it felt like that, but not an ounce of you was prepared to solve it. This time around, that blockade wasn’t there. They knew you, not a facade, and still they willingly conveyed their feelings towards you. Quickly you were learning that this was the right way to live. Not like you had in the past, where you weren’t even half of your true self.

Living unapologetically as yourself was freeing. You couldn’t go back if you tried.

As always, you loved training. It was equal parts light-hearted and competitive, the perfect combination. Everybody was playing well, feeling well, and it was evident on everyone’s face. Not a moment passed without everybody smiling or laughing. Even during the gruelling seven-a-side game at the end. During a brief reprieve from the tight match where you were stood on the sidelines, watching on, it gave a moment of clarity. You did belong here. 

“Has Ale given you your presents yet?” Aitana joined you with a smile on her face, but you looked down at her in confusion. “Ah, I see. She hasn’t. Well, take it from me, they are really cool. You will love them.”

“What are they?” You tried to get it out of her, but obviously she wasn’t letting up that easily.

“You will see! I am not spoiling it.” She laughed. “Tell me when she has, I have to talk about them with you.”

“How do you know what they are?” You wondered, only for her to shrug slyly.

“You just have to find out. Go on! You’re being called back in.” She shooed you away, smiling again when you shake your head at her antics.

The game didn’t go on for much longer before the end of training was called. On the way in, you were watching Pina and Vicky spray each other with the remainders of their drinks, laughing when one of them accidentally sprayed Marta. Before you knew it, all of the ‘class clowns’ were chasing the team around with the ice cold liquids, and you found yourself at the centre of it. Apparently, turning 27 meant getting doused in sports drinks, because by the time you were back in the locker room, your shirt was mostly damp.

Alexia had stuck to the back of the group with Patri who had unusually opted out of joining in, though it wasn’t something you picked up on. The two were talking calmly as if there wasn’t a full blown water fight ahead of them, but Alexia knew Patri was itching to join in. What caused her to stay out of it though was very important to her. 

“Hey.” She came over to you in the locker room with a spare towel for you to somewhat dry yourself off with, another item hidden behind her back. “I have something else for you.”

You could tell everybody in the room was fighting to keep their eyes averted, but their curiosity got the better of them. After all, it was a small token of appreciation from everybody.

“Oh, okay. Sure, what is it?” You forced a smile, but below the surface, Ingrid and Alexia could tell there were alarm bells going off in your mind.

“Well it is your birthday, and though you said you don’t want to make a big deal of it, we couldn’t let it go under the radar. This is just something small from all of us.” Patri revealed an envelope in her hand and held it out for you. Your name was written on the front, as well as a huge smiley face.

“You don’t have to open it now, in front of everyone, don’t worry. Look at it in your own time, that’s more than okay.” The midfielder smiled her bright smile at you, squeezing your shoulder before heading back to her cubby. 

It was then that Alexia came over, standing beside you when you turned back to your space.

“Was that alright?” Alexia murmured quietly. Everybody else was back to doing their own thing now, giving you two the privacy you probably needed.

“Yes, just unexpected.” You said, eyes still staring at the yellow envelope.

“I know. Like Patri said, you don’t have to open it now. You can look at it whenever, it’s fine. Okay?” She checked, smiling in relief when you looked up at her and nodded.

“Did you do this?” You wondered. Instantly, there was a redness to her cheeks that couldn’t be blamed on the weather or the training session beforehand.

“I may have played a part in it. But it was the other guys’ idea. I just approved it.” She shrugged nonchalantly. “You showering?”

“Yep. When I get out, I’ll look at it.”

You liked taking your time in the shower post-workout, whether that be training or a game or even just a 5k jog. By the time you got out, most of the team had left. It was just Alexia sat there on her own, scrolling through her phone whilst she waited for you. One of her legs was bouncing up and down, and you weren’t sure if that was a sign of anything or not.

“Ale?” You got her attention as you dropped your towel and training kit down into your locker, now dressed in comfy sweats and a t-shirt.

“Mhm?”

“I’m going to open the envelope now.” You stated shyly. She tried to disguise the excitement on her face, but she didn’t do a great job. It didn’t really help your nerves, but there were worse audiences to do it in front of.

“Absolutely, go for it.”

Shaking hands tore open the paper, revealing a birthday card. What was in it, though, made it much more than just a card.

On both pages inside were personal messages from every member of the team. From Cata, to Irene, to Salma, and even Alexia. From the first one you read, there were tears in your eyes. Alexia could read you well, but she wasn’t perfect yet.

“Amor? Are you not happy?” She asked nervously, coming over to you. You shook your head, only worrying her further, before burying your face in her chest. “I’m so sorry you don’t like it. I’m so so sorry. I-”

“No, I love it. I really, really love it.” 

Every message was personal, not just a generic one. Whether it contained an inside joke or a compliment, you couldn’t have imagined they thought these things about you. They weren’t saying things for the sake of a congratulatory message, or just to come across as kind, they were deeply meaningful and thought-out. From Mapi’s teasing message that was filled with love, to Frido’s reminder of the car park fiasco and how she signed it as ‘cupid’, to Aitana’s that relayed the memory of your first goal, signifying it wasn’t just a special moment for you but for her too. 

You were left speechless. All you could do was read it again and again and again, something you know you’d be doing for the rest of your life. You’d get it framed if it was socially acceptable. 

The idea, no, the fact that these people, Ballon d’Or winners, World Cup winners, Euros winners, the people you held at such a high regard like this. It was almost unimaginable, if it wasn’t written right in front of your eyes. If the months beforehand hadn’t shown you how important it was to be vulnerable and open and honest, this gesture sealed that decision and was all the proof you needed that everything that had led you to this moment, the good and the awful, was undoubtedly worth it. 

You were part of a record breaking team, sure, but it was the people in it that made your personal dreams come true.

“I wrote my message last so that nobody saw me being soft.” Alexia admitted, making you giggle as you read hers. “So you are okay with it?”

“Okay with it? Alexia, this is the best gift I’ve ever gotten.” You said, placing the card down and embracing her tightly. “Thank you. I need to thank everyone, but thank you.” 

“I’m glad.” She whispered. “There was one issue on my behalf though.” 

“What?” You wondered, leaning back and looking up at her with a frown.

“I was too scared to write how I truly felt.” Well fuck, if that didn’t make your heart drop and your stomach churn.

“Ale, what do you mean?” You said quietly, taking a step back from her. She chuckled nervously, scratching the back of her neck.

“I… wanted to write that I love you in it, but I didn’t want to ruin the card.” 

It took a few moments for your mind to settle at that proclamation, but eventually it did. It left Alexia stood there, looking terrified though.

Your first thought, once the commotion had settled in your mind, was that you were utterly in love with her too. You kind of thought you’d known that the day she took care of you when you collapsed in training. Your second thought was, why would that ruin the card?

“Ale, you’re such a dork.” You laughed. Okay, maybe not the best reaction. “You must know that I love you too, right?”

“You do?” Alexia asked in a childlike wonder, as if all her wildest dreams were coming true. “You sure?”

“I feel like I should be the one asking you that.” You said. Any further doubts that began to creep in were immediately cut off when she cradled your face and kissed you. Just like you did to her during your first kiss.

“I love you, cariño, and I will not have you worrying otherwise. I really love you.” Alexia breathed out, as if a weight had lifted from her shoulders.

“I really love you, too.” You stated shyly, gazing up into the eyes you'd come to love, only to see sincerity and mirth swirling in the hazel of her orbs. She wasn't kidding, this wasn't some evil birthday prank, she actually was in love with you.

It certainly wasn't a gift you were expecting, but it topped them all indefinitely. Frankly, it was hard to process. Hard to comprehend. How someone of her stature could love a person like you. But, seemingly so, it would have to be something you came to terms with. Because she was stood before you, professing exactly how she felt, and when she gave such a brave show like that, it'd be cruel to reject her.

Except, there was one question you had.

“Was that the gift that Aitana mentioned?” 

“What? No!” Alexia tutted, rolling her eyes affectionately as you grinned. “Your actual gifts are in the boot of my car, in the cardboard box I told you was full of old Barça kits.”

That wasn't a total lie. In the aforementioned box, there were old kits in there, but they weren't all Barça ones. They were real, match-worn shirts from not only Alexia's collection she'd made over the years, but from Aitana's, and Mapi’s, and a few of Alexia's ex-teammates turned good friends. They ranged from international jerseys, like the USWNT jersey with Christen Press' name and number, as well as one of Christine Sinclair's Canada shirts. Not to mention the array of club kits. There were loads of them, god knows how valuable they all were, but you adored every single one. Your personal favourite was Alexia's old Barça shirt from her first season in 2012, one of your favourite designs from Barcelona as a whole.

The fact that Alexia had listened to your stories of when you were younger where you were crazy for any kind of memorabilia, even going as far as asking her friends for their shirts, was a notion you couldn't begin to understand. To be loved is to be heard, and Alexia had taken that phrase and ran with it. You gazed at each shirt, having laid them out across your bed to send a video to Ingrid (and Aitana, of course), but for a while you just stared at them. 

Alexia stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame with her arms crossed, a proud smile on her face. She knew she had done a good job, but seeing you geek out like you were over them was so endearing, she couldn't help but fall further in love. It was her mission to show you a life of joy and compassion, and in her professional opinion, she'd made a damn good start.

Her love for you was woven through the fabric of the jerseys she had gifted. Your approval of that fact was shown in the way you barely let her out of your hold for the rest of the evening, even as you slept that night. 

The be all and end all of everything was written into the bonds formed with people in the world, and yours with Alexia was enough reason to wake up everyday with a smile on your face and contentment in your heart. The essence of your existence was not limited to the three words of your medical diagnosis, but rather the three words that were whispered in your ear the moment you opened your eyes in the morning and the moment you closed them at night.

Maybe birthdays didn’t have to be so bad after all.

[guiltyasdave]

a long time coming

pairing: Dave York x f!reader

summary: You were supposed to go to a concert with your best friend. You end up going with her dad instead.

word count: ~1.1k

tags/warnings: best friend's dad!Dave, fluff, allusions to smut, huge age gap, able-bodied reader, no use of y/n, please be warned: Dave has inappropriate (though reciprocated) thoughts about his daughter's best friend - if that makes you uncomfortable, don't read

a/n: daphne @sizzlingcloudmentality and i were freaking out about those new photos of pedro, and because daphne apparently wants me dead, she said that it's giving bfd!dave who's at a concert with you and also provided me with a snippet that still has me in a chokehold and that's part of this story now. i am already experiencing heavy brainrot because i'm going to the eras tour in three (3) days and this was the final nail in my coffin tbh. i should be working on my dress, but instead i did this. the most self indulgent shit i've ever written lmao, please enjoy <3

follow @guiltyasdavenotifs for fic updates and find my whole masterlist here :)

dividers by @saradika-graphics <3

“Please, daddy? Please?” 

Dave sighs, rubbing a hand over his forehead. Molly’s hoarse voice keeps pleading with him before it dissolves into a fit of coughs. 

With a groan, she lets her head fall against the pillows, wide eyes still trained on him. 

“No one else wants to go, and I can’t let her go alone, I’d feel terrible. Please?” 

She pouts at him, knowing fully well that her father doesn’t deny her anything when she looks at him like this. 

“Fine. If you’re sure that she’s okay with it?” 

“She is! I already asked her.”

Dave cocks a brow at his daughter, earning himself an exhausted but triumphant grin. 

“Don’t look at me like that. It will be fun!”

Admittedly, Dave really has much more fun than he expected when his daughter all but begged him to accompany her best friend to the concert that she wanted to go to herself before she got sick. 

He knows most of the songs, has been witness to you and Molly singing along to the music while dancing through his kitchen often enough. It’s not bad music by any means, and the show is nothing short of spectacular. 

It’s not the reason he’s enjoying himself so much though. He’s barely watching the show, eyes only occasionally flicking towards the stage. 

His gaze is fixed on you, has been since before the show even started. Watching you interact with other fans, beaming smiles and giggles, eagerly exchanging bracelets, excitedly cooing at the especially pretty ones. 

Meeting your eyes when you turned to him, not able to suppress his own smile at the sparkle in them. Suppressing the flicker of something in his chest when your fingers wrapped around his wrist, tugging it closer to put a few bracelets on him as well. You don’t seem to notice the faint blush that’s rising up in his cheeks at the unexpected touch. 

He’s watching you bouncing on your feet seconds before the show starts, snaps a few photos of the pure joy on your face without you noticing. Just to send them to you later, having enough experience from being the father of two daughters to know how much you’ll love them. After that, he’ll delete them from his own phone. Of course he will. 

He’s watching you dance, your body moving to the beat of the music, your lips forming every word. Your silhouette shimmering with the lights reflecting off your dress. It’s mesmerizing. You dance with the girls beside you sometimes, shouting lyrics at each other. Other times, you turn to him. He doesn’t protest when you take his hands, starts moving with you without a second thought, starts singing the words that he knows along with you. You’re laughing, your eyes shining with pure happiness. It’s intoxicating, and he wants more, wants all of it, wants to be part of that happiness. He doesn’t remember the last time he smiled this wide, the last time his body felt this light. 

It takes a long time, longer than it should, until he remembers why this is bad. Until the weight comes crashing back into him. Until he remembers that he shouldn’t feel like this with you. 

You’re so much younger than him. His daughter’s friend. His daughter who asked him to come here with you, because she trusted that you’d be safe with him. 

Your brow furrows when you catch his eye and notice the change in his expression. No. He wants you to enjoy yourself, doesn’t want to be the reason for any kind of worry for you right now. He allows himself to drink in your energy right now, to let a smile grow on his face again. 

There’s no harm in indulging just for one night. Just a little bit. No one has to know. Least of all you. 

So he keeps singing with you, keeps letting you move with him. Keeps watching. 

It’s easy, being with you, talking to you. Effortless in a way that he’s not used to. 

It’s just because you’re at his house more often than not, going wherever Molly goes. It has to be. 

But it’s different, your giggles ringing out in the confines of his car, not mixed with his daughter’s, the sound that he knows. And he’s the one who’s elicited those laughs from you. 

"Explain it again, please. You’ve glued every single of these stones onto your dress?" He laughs and gives you another once over, glad he can disguise his inappropriate ogling with an appreciating glance. Act like he’s studying the intricate, shimmering patterns on the fabric. Not the way your tits are straining against the low cut over your chest. Not the way the skirt has ridden up your thighs, exposing a new inch of bare skin. "Great job, sweetheart. You look good. The dress looks good, too." 

He wonders how the dress would look bunched up around your waist. Or on the floor of your apartment. If your skin is as soft as it looks in the dim shine of the red light he’s stopped at. How it would taste under his tongue. The sweet sounds you would make when his teeth dig into you. 

You breathe a thank you and bite your lip at the compliment, and his cock twitches with interest. Wrong, wrong, so wrong.

He has to be imagining the way that you keep glancing his way, stealing looks when you think that he doesn’t notice. Wishful thinking on his part. 

He pulls up in front of your apartment building, killing the engine and turning towards you. You’re already facing him, more shy than you’ve looked all evening. 

“Thank you for tonight,” you say softly, lips pulling up into another smile. “I’ve had a great time. I— I hope you did too.” 

His hand lands on your thigh before he can actively think about it. A soft gasp escapes you, but you make no move to back away from his touch. 

“Trust me, I did.” 

He doesn’t intend for it to come out as low and breathy as it does. Teeth dig into your lips once more. Your contemplative gaze burns into him. 

You inch closer, close enough that he can feel your breath against his face. 

Wrong. He swallows thickly, forces his grip off of you. You blink, eyes growing wider, the growing tension’s fog lifting from you. Clearing your throat, you sit up straighter. 

“Good night, sweetheart.” 

He needs you to leave this car. Right now. 

You nod, shakily bidding him a good night as well. 

He watches your retreating silhouette, finally able to exhale deeply when you enter your building. 

He’s fucked.

comments and reblogs are love and make my day every single time <3

[bangtanficsforyou]

Fine Line (JJK)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader.

Au: Enemies to lovers.

Word count: 2.4K

Genre: angst, smut, fluff (i am ninety percent sure I'll write a part two at some point with all the spice)

Summary: You hate Jungkook. Jungkook hates you. It's simple. Until it isn't.

A/N: here's my patreon for early access to all my works and exclusive drabbles and aneek peaks!

"You're beautiful," he speaks loudly to be heard over the loud blaring music.

"Thank you," you express your appreciation not only through your words but also through your red hot cheeks and shy smile.

His hand tightens around your waist as the both of you sway gently along with the music. "You're welcome, pretty."

Chuckling, you place one of your palms on his chest and look up at him.

The night has been filled with subtle touches, light teasing and full of laughter. You didn't expect you'd have this much fun when you agreed to go on a date with the guy you matched with, a few weeks ago. But it has been a pleasant surprise so far and you have been feeling glad over the decision of going out tonight.

You both dance with low giggles and occasional compliments are thrown in the air. That is until the music changes into something more upbeat.

"Would you like to go to the bar?"

You're relieved on hearing that question and couldn't agree sooner. It's not unknown to you that with the change of music comes the typical club activity aka grinding on each other. And you're not in the mood for that so it's rather wise to remove yourself from the dance floor.

One might question, why then did you choose a club of all places? Simple reason, a crowded place is safe for a first date. Why not a restaurant? Because you were not really that excited about the date at first and a restaurant felt a bit too intimate. What if there's no flow of conversation? What will you do then? Sit there awkwardly and enjoy the sounds of knives and forks?

Hence, clubbing.

You two sit yourselves next to each other on stools and ask the bartender to make the both of you drinks. Something sweet for you, something strong for him.

"What's the last book that you have indulged yourself in?"

You perk up at the mention of books. You had mentioned to him previously that you absolutely love reading books and you would stay in fictional worlds if you could. And you're impressed that he remembers that small piece of detail.

You tell him about the book you're currently reading and all the reasons why you love it. You get even more excited when he adds his recent reading experiences and from then on, there's no stopping the chit-chat between you two.

The conversation moves on from books to people in both of your lives and then to food and then lord knows, to what.

At some point, you both get tipsy and you can tell he's more affected by the drinks than you are. It gets to the point where you feel like it's better for him to head home now before he gets to a stage where he cannot get home by himself.

"You should probably stop with the drinks now," you suggest, softly. "Would you like for me to book you a cab?"

He dismisses your words with a wave of his hand. "Nah, sweetheart, I am only getting started."

He throws his hand in the air and before you can register what's happening, he's placing them over your shoulders. His fingers rub the skin of your arms and he grins at you. You squirm in your seat, suddenly finding his grin to be not that attractive. You try to tell yourself that there's nothing to be scared of, some people tend to get a little touchy when they get drunk.

"The night has only got started, sweetheart," he mutters, getting incredibly close to you. You think he's attempting that thing where someone whispers in your ears in a sexy gruff voice in hopes that it'd be attractive. But if anything, you shiver in disgust and fear.

You try to put some distance between the two of you but he doesn't budge. It's only when you put a little more force that you're successful at your attempts.

He's taken off guard by your sudden use of force but his surprise fades and he smirks. "Do you like it rough, babygirl?"

Okay, that's it.

"I need to go use the washroom," you come up with the most basic excuse ever but you doubt in his drunk state, he'd ever pay attention to how lame you sound.

You're right in your assumption that he doesn't pay attention. However, he's not happy that you're leaving him. "You should not leave me here. We should leave together for my place."

The lopsided grin on his face makes your stomach churn in a bad way. Before you can get a word out to come up with some excuse, a glass of shot is being placed in front of him.

"Sir, your order," the bartender says and that seems to be the magic words as he seems to forget that he had an issue with you leaving him moments ago.

You ease up a little bit and don't miss the look the bartender is giving you. She seems to be telling you with her eyes that she will make sure that your date doesn't follow you.

The relief on your face is the only thing that serves as a mode of expressing your gratitude as you quickly flee the spot. Not knowing any place better, you actually do find yourself in the washroom. What if you were to stand outside the club and somehow he catches up with you? In the washroom, at least there will be other girls.

You take your phone out and hesitate for a brief moment. Would it be the right thing to do to ask your best friend, Jisoo, to come and pick you up? You could take a cab but with the sudden turn of events, you feel scared to be alone.

Pushing your hesitance aside you shoot her a text, knowing she would be very mad if she were to learn you didn't text her when in need.

You: can you please come and pick me up?

Jis 🥵: sure can

Jis 🥵: but is everything alright?

You chew on your lower lip and decide this is no time to go into details.

You: I'll tell you once I reach home

Jis 🥵: sure

Jis 🥵: i can see your location

Jis 🥵: I'll be there in fifteen

You sigh in relief when you read the text. You wait for exactly twelve minutes before stepping out of the washroom, getting a little impatient to get out of the club.

However, the moment you step out, you're met with a figure that you recognise immediately. Jungkook. And by the looks of it, he looks agitated about something as he looks at his phone screen.

You're no fool to think that Jungkook being here is a mere coincidence and walk towards him. The sound of your heels catches his attention and he looks up, finally noticing you.

"Why are my calls not reaching you?" He asks, looking absolutely pissed. Any other time, you'd have felt extremely satisfied at that but you fail to feel any of that right now.

To address his question, his calls are not reaching you because you have him blocked. Why?

Before answering the why, you should probably get into how you and Jungkook know each other.

You see Jisoo has a boyfriend, Taehyung. And Taehyung, bless his sweet soul, has an absolute devil of a best friend, Jungkook.

You never imagined that you'd ever have this much animosity with your best friend's boyfriend's best friend. But for some reason unknown, you and Jungkook just simply do not get along. You both are involved in constant bickering, pulling pranks and throwing insults at each other.

Which leads to the why, you have Jungkook blocked. Last time, he posted an advertisement on his social media saying there's a need for someone who can do a good Minnie Mouse impression and put your phone number at the bottom of it. For several days people kept calling you asking if they can give you their demo. Some didn't even bother asking, they thought saying hello in the Minnie Mouse voice would earn them brownie points. It made you so incredibly furious that out of sheer pettiness, you blocked Jungkook.

"Why are you here?" You ask instead of answering his initial question.

"What? I'm your prince charming for tonight," Jungkook smirks, his previous agitation melting away and it immediately irks you. "I heard you needed a ride and so here I am."

Your eyes follow his and you immediately shake your head when you realise he's asking you to get on his bike. Jungkook and his bike go hand in hand, so much so that you hadn't paid attention to it when you first saw him. However, now you feel incredibly stupid for not realising any sooner that his bike is supposed to be your ride for the night.

"No, no, no, I'm not getting on that," you shake your head vehemently.

Jungkook raises a brow. "You have no other choice, sweetheart."

"I'll book a cab," you grumble, knowing very well that you are not quite fond of that idea.

"I'm already here. Just get on the bike Y/N."

You don't reply for a few moments before sighing when you realise how your argument is incredibly stupid. "Fine."

Jungkook grins and gets on the bike. He starts the engine and motions you to take your seat. You hesitate for a moment but then get behind him. He hands you a helmet before putting one on himself.

You wait for him to start the bike but you are confused when Jungkook doesn't do so. "What are you waiting for?"

"For you to wrap your arms around me," just by the tone of his voice, you can tell he's enjoying this thoroughly.

You scoff. "Why would I ever do that?"

Your question is answered when he revs the engine and the force of it makes you stumble forward. Involuntarily, your arms wrap around his torso as you cling to him for dear life.

"There's my good girl," Jungkook comments with a cheeky grin on his face and takes off.

With how fast he's going, you find yourself feeling scared and hold on to him tighter. His hard back presses against your chest and you rest your chin on his right shoulder, soon finding the position comfortable and despising it at the same time. You both spend the entire journey to your place in this manner and in absolute silence.

You're surprised at how quickly you reach your destination. It's like his motorbike flies. Untangling yourself from Jungkook, you get off the bike. You remove the helmet and throw it at him, not wanting to spend another moment in his presence.

But before you can walk inside your home, he grabs your hand. "Woah, woah, woah. Do I not get a thank you?"

"Fuck off, asshole," you roll your eyes and free yourself from his grip. You're aware that if you were to ask anyone they'd tell you, you are the one who's being an asshole but you and Jungkook simply do not share the kind of dynamic, where one thanks the other. If it were Jungkook in your place, he'd probably say something cheeky or call you names. He'd do everything but not say thank you.

You take the key out of your purse and are about to unlock your door, when you're swiftly turned around in the blink of an eye and the next thing you know, you are caged between your front door and Jungkook.

"What do you want, Jungkook?"

The corner of his lips lift up. "A simple thank you."

You smile too, the only difference being yours is sarcastic. "Thank you so much Jungkook for coming to pick me up because Jisoo asked you to."

"She didn't ask me to," he replies, immediately, shaking his head. The action causes a few of his curls to fall on his face and with him being this close to you, you let your mind drift to how easy it would be for you to just gently remove those strands out his face. However, you control yourself, getting annoyed with the whole situation.

"Of course, she didn't ask you to! You came because you wanted to really help me." Your words are so sweet that they drip venom.

Jungkook observes you closely, before curiosity gets the best of him. "Why do you hate me so much?"

You're caught off guard by his question. The hate between you and Jungkook has always been mutual and reciprocated. None of you have ever questioned it. Hating each other is what feels right, what feels natural. You never imagined that any of you would ever question it.

"Well…you know," you stutter, finding yourself at a loss of words.

"No, I don't," he challenges. "Tell me Y/N, what have I done for you to hate me so much?"

"Y-you know, y-you know you are not a good guy," the words sound lame to even your own ears but that's the best you come up with.

"That's it, huh?"

You roll your eyes and look away from him, not wanting to make it obvious that you do not have a proper answer to give. However, Jungkook grabs your chin and makes you look at him.

He leans in incredibly close and you feel his breath on your skin. It makes you wonder what he's doing, it makes you wonder if he's going to kiss you and it makes you wonder why you aren't moving away from him. Your breathing speeds up and your chest heaves to give testimony to that. Your eyes drop to his lips and for the first time you find the previously annoying mole under them, cute. Just when you think he's about to close the distance he goes straight to your ears.

"I think you want me to be the bad guy," he whispers. "Because you know I'd be too good to you."

He nips at your earlobe before backing away, causing a shiver to run down your spine.

"What are you doing?" You may not have been kissed but you sound just as breathless as one gets after a heavy session of kissing.

"Good night princess," he winks at you before getting on his bike. "Have sweet dreams."

What just happened?

Part two is available here.

[painted-bees]

Sometimes you just need to be held and gently rocked like a child by someone who means something to you.

I mentioned before how Raf doesn't really get anxious before a show, and genuinely enjoys performing on stage--but that the most difficult part of a performance for him are the hours right after a show has finished, starting from the moment he walks off the stage.

Almost every single time, no matter how fun or well executed a performance was, there's a kind of quiet terror that follows him off the stage like a dark shadow and infects him once he's left the safety of the stage lights.

He becomes uncharacteristically furtive, and while he will answer when spoken to, his responses are simple, short, with a kind of sharpness in tone that suggests a level of defensiveness. Like a child awaiting a harsh scolding. Because that's kinda...what he is, in that moment. He is waiting to be kept awake into the early hours of the morning by a lecture about what he did, what he didn't do, what he should have done differently, what needs to be improved upon before the next time. Or he's waiting to be told that he's gonna be on his own for a few days, because the people who are supposed to love and take care of him are "too disappointed to fairly manage him" right now. Or he's waiting to be dragged into a busy room populated by strangers he's supposed to impress while he's casually, conversationally picked apart in front of them by the person who brought him there in the first place; the person who wanted to show him off.

It's a frustrating reaction to have...He's not a child, he's a grown ass man--and he owes venue staff, and his bandmates, and everyone else backstage a modicum of respect and kindness, and to thank them for their work, and to revel in the completion of a good show. But he's not really...he can't do that. He comes off as quietly despondent at best, or kind of a stuck up asshole at worst. When he did shows with Lacey, she called it his "post-performance tantrums" and exercised very little patience for his 'immature sulkiness' following concerts. And the low mood would persist for a solid week then after.

Once he started doing shows and stuff with Margie, she'd initially wonder if his poor mood was because she had done something wrong, or didn't meet expectations, if it was a bad show.... It wouldn't be until the following day before Raf could find himself in a state of mind where he's able to explain what he's feeling, much less why. And...for whatever reason, he's reticent to offer the most simple explanation to her--because saying "it's a ptsd thing, just give me space and patience and don't take it personally because it's nothing to do with you" comes with the risk of being asked other questions about himself and his upbringing that he's not comfortable getting into and--it's a whole thing, in his mind. So the first few shows together are consistently...a bewilderingly negative experience for Margie, in that it's a very tense, quiet, insecure and shame-ridden 24-48 hours after the show--followed by delayed revelry days after the performance with Raf finally able to reflect positively upon the experience and assuring Margie that it actually was a great performance, and that he had a lot of fun--and they're able to recall their favorite moments together, etc.

Unlike Lace, though, Margie never digs into him about his behavior. She just mirrors his silence, and then--very uncomfortably--gives him space because she doesn't really know what else she can do, and--assuming she's the problem--she doesn't want to risk messing things up even more, since she doesn't know what she did wrong in the first place. And, you know, there's only so many times Raf can reassure her, too late, that she was great, actually. And so he finally does relent to telling her that this is just...how he is after a show, that it's no one's fault, he's not mad at her or anyone--it's just ptsd. That's all he tells her, and, as per always with Margie--she doesn't try to pry out more information from him about it.

Margie goes down her own little rabbit hole of research instead, and comes to Raf with the idea for a new post-performance routine (communicated with staff and such before hand to ensure accommodation) wherein they don't try to gladhand, or pack up, or do literally anything for the first half hour after they walk off stage. Instead, they find a quiet, dimly lit corner somewhere away from everything and just sit, and rest, no expectations, no obligations, nothing. Raf agrees to put this idea into practice, and it quickly evolves into, well idk... Being held and gently rocked like a child by someone who means something to him.

[enthusiasticharry]

I also might have a few ideas of a few scenes that take place between each of the years (maybe even one from Harry’s POV of when he realised his love for governess!yn!)

Ah this sounds so good!! Write it babee!!

I may have an idea (if you are comfortable writing smut) like they have sex for the first time after giving birth to nathaniel and she is lil insecure cause after her pregnancy thinks that Harry may not like her body and all

orrr a domestic day were H makes breakfast for everyone and nathaniel is 2 or 3 years old and they all spend time together??

I don't know if it's a good idea but write anything I will read about them!!💗

Suffer in Silence

Daisies (Part One) ; Edelweiss (Part Two)

summary: after the birth of YN and Harry's first child, YN finds herself struggling to believe that Harry still desires her and he wants to prove that is not the case.

author's note: a lil extra for the governess!yn universe!!thank you so much for this ask!! the second that I saw it I knew that I had to write it for them!! the second request is certainly in the works, so watch out for that in the future!!!

word count: 3.2k

warnings: smut, discussion of body image postpartum.

Pregnancy was a beautiful thing.

YN was never, ever in her life going to dispute that. It was, as far as she believed, one of the most beautiful things that a woman could do. The fact that beyond their scientific knowledge, the body was prepped and able to change and adapt to protect a child that was made (in YN’s case especially) as a result of the love between her and her husband. It was completely astonishing to her, and she would never change that experience for anything in the world. No matter the sickness she experienced, the tumultuous changes in her emotions or the constant fatigue that wracked her body – YN would do it all over again for Nathaniel.

He was the missing piece to a puzzle that YN did not even know she needed. He brought life and light into the family, and more importantly, love. The way that Noah and Norah had accepted Nate into their lives, and even more so the way he brought them so much closer together. They were a family, and no matter what YN had endured to get here, she would never change it for the world.

Every woman experienced pregnancy differently and YN would never, ever dispute that fact. Her pregnancy had not been easy, but Nate was the reward. A very beautiful, charming reward.

The only way that YN could describe how she felt now was that something was missing within her. She would never blame Nate for this – he was the newly found light in her life. However, she would certainly be lying if she said that Nate’s pregnancy had not changed her in certain ways.

To YN, the change that had recently become too difficult for her to ignore was her body. The one (more reasonable) part of her brain continued to remind her that her body had done a wonderful thing, it had grown their son, kept him safe for nine months and then helped welcome him safely into the world. The other part, the one that held centre stage right now as she stood in front of her mirror was what plagued her.

Her stomach, which had been stretched to accommodate Nate in his growing had not returned straight away to its normal state (which YN had not expected at all) but now that Nathaniel was nearing five months, she thought there would be some sort of normality returned. Instead, there was still loose skin and greying lines which held a pink hue (not as prominent as when she was pregnant, but still there) littering her stomach, hips, and thighs.  Her breasts, fuller than they had before had their own lines which reminded her daily of their change also. Again, there was the rational part of her brain that tried to remind her that her breasts had changed to be able to feed their child, but her brain often could not focus on that.

YN’s head was tipped as she looked herself up and down, her body bare apart from the dressing gown that rested upon her shoulders. It was difficult to focus on the benefits of the changes to her body, especially when the only word she could think of when she looked at herself was ugly.

She could not stop those thoughts, even more so when she tormented herself with the ideas of what would happen if Harry were to see her in such a state.

Before the pregnancy, and even during, Harry had always been remarkably touchy with YN. It was as though there was a pull that meant that a part of his body always had to be touching hers – whether that was a hand in hers, an arm over her waist as they slept or knees touching as they sat side by side. YN, once these thoughts had settled within her brain, found it difficult to shake them. It meant that, without necessarily thinking of the effect of such, she had pulled away from Harry in these last few months.

It had meant that when their nights had once been filled with soft kisses and lingering touches now found both of them falling asleep with a gap big enough for another person between them. It frightened YN, as much as it upset her. She had no way of knowing whether or not they would return to normal, or if there would be a point in which YN was comfortable enough to be that way with Harry again.

She had not even realised within her thoughts, as she stared at herself in the mirror that tears had begun to fall. They were light, but they were there.

YN sighed, shaking her head, and pulling her dressing gown closed, and that was when Harry opened the door to their bedchamber. YN gasped, watching as his eyes moved from hers down her body until meeting hers once more.

“What is it?” Harry stepped further into the room, closing the door behind him, immediately noticing her tear-stained cheeks, “What is wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong,” YN shook her head, pulling the fasten of her dressing gown tighter to her body, “I am just tired, I think. It is nice to have a child-free evening I suppose, as much as I miss them.”

“I would not worry about them,” Harry shook his head, moving even closer towards YN, “My mother is probably spoiling them rotten, and you know how much Nate lights up when Nana is around.”

YN smiled, but she could not help when that smile dropped the second Harry grabbed her hand, spinning her around so that they were looking into the mirror. He wrapped his arm around her waist, YN gasping when she felt the weight of him on her body. His head dropped to her shoulder, pressing a kiss to the exposed skin of her neck (which she guessed was still his favourite place to be).

“We have not had a night alone in the five months since Nate was born,” Harry mumbled into the skin of her neck, “I want to know what has upset you so much.”

“Nothing,” YN shook her head, hoping that Harry would believe her, “I am just missing the children, that is all.”

“Now, whilst I know that is partly true… I also know that you are keeping something from me.”

YN turned her head slightly, looking up at Harry with tears in her eyes once more, “I am sorry.”

“What are you apologising for?” Harry asked, lifting one of his hands to brush YN’s hair off her face, “You have nothing to apologise for.”

“No, I do,” YN nodded, placing her hand upon Harry’s, “I have been distant, and I have been cold and I…”

“YN, stop it,” Harry shook his head, “You just had a child. I know that I do not come first to Nate, or to Noah and Norah – I know that. You do not need to apologise for that.”

“But, it is my fault that I cannot be with you in the way that you need,” YN shook her head, “That is my fault. It is my fault that you no longer have a wife that you desire.”

Harry went silent, and it was as though all of the worries that YN had felt were finally confirmed. She thought she would cry even more, but she felt more content than anything.

Then she did not feel that way anymore.

“Is that truly what you think?” Harry’s eyebrows furrowed, and then a look of hurt crossed his features, “That I do not desire you anymore?”

“How can you? I do not blame you; I would not desire myself with how I look right now.”

 Harry sighed and shook his head. It was then that a look of what can only be described as anger crossed his features. His finger lightly tapped YN’s cheek, moving her head so that she was facing herself in the mirror again.

“You truly think I do not desire you?” YN nodded as Harry sighed once more, “YN… you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes upon. God, I do not even know where to start. Those eyes of yours… you always say that my eyes are your home, but yours are mine. The soft skin of your cheeks, I would nestle my lips into them constantly if I knew it was not proper to do so. And… your lips. YN, how I lasted so long in my life without your lips I will never know, but if you think now that I have experienced them I would ever let them go – you are sorely mistaken.”

The tears that were collecting in YN’s eyes now were not because of her feelings but of the effect of Harry’s words. The look in Harry’s eye told YN that he was far from finished, but what else that man could say she had no idea.

His fingers drifted from her cheek down her neck, lightly running his fingertip from the bottom of her ear downwards until it met the nape of her neck, and then he smiled once more.

“Now, your neck,” Harry chuckled slightly from behind her, “You know the love I have for your neck, and how if I could live there, I most certainly would.”

YN chuckled from the side of him, “That would be a most terrible inconvenience.”

“You are calling me an inconvenience now? I see how it is,” Harry’s words have a slight teasing edge to them, and she knew that it would not end there.

It was then that YN truly realised the extent to which her words had annoyed him. It seemed that no matter what he was to say next, the fact that he had to utter those words was enough for YN’s chest to start heaving. His attack continued, his fingers moving down the exposed skin of her neck and collarbone until it landed upon the thin material of her nightgown. YN gasped slightly, worry crossing her features immediately at what his next step was to be.

“YN,” His fingers moved from the hem of her nightgown to the material further down, inching closer and closer to the tie that held the gown closed. YN immediately dropped her hands upon his, stopping his movements from continuing.

“I will disgust you, Harry,” YN shook her head, “I do not look the same as I did before.”

“I do not want you to look the same as you did before,” Harry shook his head, “You could never disgust me, YN. Your body has changed and as a result of that change, we have Nate. I cannot even fathom it; I swear to you. You would never disgust me, YN I am in awe of you.”

It was as though all of the worries that had accumulated within YN’s veins dissipated the second he said those words, and she almost felt a sense of relief. Her body dropped backwards, relishing the feeling of Harry’s body against hers. Harry’s eyes found YN’s again, and all it took was one nod of YN’s head his hands moved to the tie of her nightgown. With a quick pull of the bow, the material grew loose around her body. As Harry moved to pull the material from his body, his fingers grazed the skin of her stomach and whilst she tried not to wince she found it difficult not to do so.

“You are beautiful,” Harry pulled the material so it fell from her body, exposing her to him, “And if you think I do not, that I cannot desire you just the way that you are you are sorely mistaken.”

YN exhaled a breath, “You do not have to lie.”

“I am not lying,” Harry’s words are soft but stern – as though he is truly attempting to make sure she sees herself the way that he does, “Your breasts, YN if I did not already think they were magnificent then seeing what they can do to feed our son, that would have sealed the deal for me.”

YN gasped as his hands planted themselves upon her breasts. The touch was light, but it was enough for YN’s body to reel. Her breasts were more tender than they had been before, and Harry seemed to know just that. His feather-light touch moved from the expanse of her breasts downwards towards her stomach, where they wrapped around her body once more.

“I do know how anybody would find the place that kept their child safe undesirable,” Harry whispered, leaning down to press a kiss to the skin of her neck, “It may not look the same, but who is to care? I love you and every part of you, and I always will. Nothing could stop me from such.”

YN sighed, watching Harry’s eyes in the mirror move down her body. That look, the want and dare she say desire that his eyes held made her prior thoughts almost laughable. She could not believe that she ever allowed herself to think such things. It was then that his touch continued, moving further and further down until it slipped between her thighs. YN gasped, unable to take her eyes away from the scene unravelling in the mirror before her.

“I gave you your space, as I wished for you to recover,” Harry mumbled, his teeth skimming the skin on her neck ever so lightly, “But if you think that I did not wish, did not dream of the moment that I was allowed to see you in such a state again you are truly mistaken. I missed every part of this, of seeing you, of feeling you.”

YN gasped when his finger slipped between her folds, finding its place where she needed it the most. Harry loved to tease her, especially in the bedroom and yet today there was none of that. He was worshipping her. He was worshipping every part of her body and proving to her that what he had said had not been a lie, no matter how much her mind had tried to convince her of such.

His finger began to circle her clit, gently before continuing down. YN gasped out, reaching to grasp his arm as he pushed his finger inside of her.

Of course, she had missed Harry in this way. It was as though once she had been given a taste, it was hard to go without it for so long. But, as Harry continued to work his fingers inside of her, the palm of his hand rubbing against her clit with every movement – she was shocked at how long it had truly been since she had felt this way, how long it had been since they had been with each other in this way.

“Harry,” She gasped once more, her nails digging into his arm. The thin material of his shirt did little to stop the feeling.

“I know, I know,” Harry nodded, nudging her head with his slightly so that she turned to him.

It was immediately that his lips found hers with such a force. YN whined slightly into his mouth as he removed his fingers from her, but it was not for long. Harry placed his hands on the small of her, spinning her around quickly. YN’s fingers found their rightful place in the hair at the nape of Harry’s neck, tugging slightly as he moved his hands down to the back of her thighs. He parted them, and with a quick tap, she knew what to do. She jumped up, wrapping her legs around Harry’s waist.

Their lips never parted as Harry skilfully carried her towards the bed. She landed on the bed with a slight thud, causing a giggle to emit from her lips. Harry’s gaze never left hers as he pulled his shirt open, and she was pretty sure that buttons went flying off in every direction of the room but at this point, she did not care. His trousers were next, and YN’s teeth sunk into her lip. If she needed one last reason to believe that he still desired her, he was giving it to her right now.

“Come here,” YN mumbled, spreading her legs slightly in hopes of inviting him to her, “No teasing tonight.”

“I have no idea what you mean,” Harry jested, with a raise of his eyebrow – but he still obliged her request, “I promise I will not.”

YN smiled. Harry’s hands rested by her head on the mattress, and YN rested hers on his shoulders. He gave her one last look, and the second that she nodded her head he pushed inside of her. YN gasped, pushing her body forward to connect her lips to his again. His thrusts were slow and gentle, as if not to hurt her but the second that she moved her hands down from his shoulders, and along his spine until they reached the curve of his bum, they began to speed up. YN moaned into Harry’s mouth, her nails digging into his peachy flesh.

Harry groaned into her mouth, a smile toying on his lips. As his hips started to move quicker, and hers joined him – all she could feel was him. All she could feel was his touch, his body, his love. It was all-possessing, and YN would not change it for the world.

“Harry… I’m –” YN gasped, pulling away from his lips to throw her head back in response to the pleasure he was causing her.

Once her eyes had closed, and his hips continued at their fast pace she had truly lost himself to him. At this point, there was no return for her. In a state where she did not feel truly like herself, Harry had pulled her immediately out of that. Harry watched her parted lips, her closed eyes, and her heaving chest.

She was beautiful to him and there would never, ever be a point that she was not.

“It is okay,” Harry dropped his head down so he could kiss her neck, and mumbled his words of encouragement into his ear, “It is okay, I promise you.”

YN gasped once more, her hands moving back towards his shoulders. She was sure that her nails were digging the ever-prominent crescent moons into his skin, but neither of them seemed to care at all. When she tightened around him, he groaned into her neck. It was as though neither of them could hold back on the pleasure that the other was giving, and it was enough for them.

It was as though once YN’s orgasm washed over her, Harry’s came soon after. They were always together, coaxing each other through the feeling – neither one of them moving too quickly without the other. It reminded her that whatever she needed, he was always there to help her and move her along. Whenever she tumbled, he was there to catch her.

This was love. This was the love that they deserved from one another, with one another.

Harry collapsed on top of her, moving to the side ever so gently to not squash her, but they still stayed as close to one another as they possibly could. YN smiled and accepted the light kiss that Harry placed on her lips.

“If you ever feel this way again, I want you to tell me,” Harry spoke, lifting his hand to run against her cheek lightly, “I do not want you to suffer in silence ever again.”

YN nodded lightly, “I will not.”

“I need you to promise me, YN,” Harry’s eyes were laced with concern for her now, “I love you.”

“I promise,” YN nodded, pressing another light kiss to his lips, “I love you.”  

[salty-autistic-writer]

For @bucktommypositivityweek Day 1: what they love most about each other

Just The Way You Are

The things Buck and Tommy love most about each other are - ironically - the things they are most insecure about.

His past experiences have taught Buck that people don’t like when he talks too much. Especially when he talks too much about a topic they are not interested in. Small talk is practical. It serves a purpose. People ask a few general questions until they can start to talk about themselves. They don’t want to hear 1000 facts about something very specific. So whenever Buck catches himself getting too excited while rambling, he apologizes and tries to stop himself. It’s fine. He can file the information away in some corner of his mind, telling it to himself later. He doesn’t want to be exhausting.

But when he says, “I’m sorry” after he notices he rambles to Tommy while they are having dinner, Tommy blinks in confusion and says, “What for? Go on.”

What for? Huh. That’s not the … usual reaction.

“I was rambling,” Buck states, confused. “Yeah. And I love to hear you ramble," Tommy says.

Buck's breath falters. Did he hear that right? “You … Really?! You like it?"

“I would never lie to you, Evan," Tommy says seriously. "This is one of the things I love about you most. Please don’t stop.”

Buck exhales shakily. Suddenly, he feels heavy and light at the same time. Are those actual tears in his eyes? Damn. Must be all the childhood trauma hitting him all at once. All the times that he felt like he was being too much while at the same time never being enough. All those moments in which he felt like he was talking into the void because no one really wanted to listen to what he had to say. The disappointment. The anger he directed at himself. Because, yeah, why couldn't he just shut up?!

“Evan? Are you alright?” Tommy asks, his voice now filling with worry. Buck nods and clears his throat. “Yeah. I’m fine. It’s just … Most people don’t react like you just did. They tell me I’m annoying or exhausting or they just give me subtle hints that I should stop, you know? A sigh. A twitch of their eye. Or when their smile gets too wide and too bright so you know exactly that they are just faking it.”

Tommy reaches out and takes Buck’s hand, gently squeezing it. “I see. I’m sorry they couldn’t appreciate you for being your true self. You never have to stop rambling to me. Now please tell me more about spiders, maybe it will help me with my very irrational fear of them.”

Buck chuckles. “Okay. So, uh, did you know that there are spiders who fling their hair at predators?” Tommy raises a brow. “No, I didn’t know that. And I have a feeling it won't help me with being scared of spiders. But go on. Sounds fascinating.” +++

His past experiences have taught Tommy that life essentially is a stage play. People have certain expectations. If you don’t fulfil them, it leads to confusion and irritation. Usually, people don’t want to hear or see the truth. They want to hear and see what they like and what fits their view of the world around them.

It’s normal to play a role and wear a mask, especially when you realize that being yourself leads to a lot of confusing moments. It’s kind of funny most people just assume he's super extrovert and confident, then react bewildered when he tells them his social battery is empty and no, he can’t go to another bar right now. He has to recharge. People look at him and see someone big, strong, and confident. Someone who knows what he wants and who he is. Someone who takes charge. Someone who takes care of others and protects them.

Then comes Evan and he doesn’t leave like the others did. Evan stays and time passes and Tommy realizes he has to take off his mask and stop playing a role because it would be unfair to his boyfriend. It’s a scary moment, really. Because there's still a chance that Evan will look at him differently. That he will leave eventually.

But no matter what Tommy reveals about himself, Evan smiles and says okay and saves the information in his mind so he can remember it later. And he does. He remembers. He remembers that Tommy likes to know the plan beforehand and isn’t fond of having his routine interrupted by a surprise. He remembers that Tommy has to recharge his social battery and needs space for that. He remembers that Tommy doesn’t like certain smells or textures because they physically make him sick. He remembers everything and he never says a bad word about it.

When Evan looks at him, he doesn’t see something he created in his head, he sees all the things Tommy told Evan about himself. He sees that Tommy likes to let go sometimes and that he likes to be taken care of as well, as long as he can trust someone enough. And he trusts Evan. With all the things he didn’t dare to tell other people. When he tells Evan that he usually doesn't get to be the little spoon in bed, Evan first curses Tommy's past partners in colourful ways, then says, "We can both be little and big spoons, depending on how we feel and what we need. And if neither of us wants to be a certain spoon, then we can just turn to face each other. Spoons can look at each other as well."

Sometimes Tommy looks at Evan and thinks: He’s too good to be real.

And then Evan wraps his arms around Tommy from behind, sighing against the back of Tommy’s neck, his breath warm and tickling, and he says, “This is one of the things I love most. That you trust me with this. That you trust me with you.”

Turns out you’re only insecure about certain things until you find the person who accepts you just the way you are.

[hana-no-seiiki]

HELLO??? WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS MASTERPIECE??? especially the last line holy shit im scared yet excited at the same time 😬😬

YANDERE! AQUAMARINE HOSHINO x REINCARNATED! READER x YANDERE! RUBY

Guess I gotta do a full fic about it huh. Here we go. Link to previous part in the ask!

tw/cw: yandere themes, gaslight tactics courtesy of aqua, girlkeep tactics courtesy of ruby, girlboss [y/n]. mentions of suicide. reader is gn but gets described as beautiful.

is this really a yandere fic when both the twins are canonically insane tho-

IT WAS SAID THAT DURING THE NIGHT OF YOUR BIRTH THE SUN WAS AT ITS HIGHEST POINT AND FULLEST BLOOM.

Its rays buried humanity under a blanket of heat and devastation. Fortunetellers would wax on and on of the disasters you would soon bring upon the world.

That was your experience in your first life.

Many could only wish of being born to a worldwide pop-star, but to you it was a reality. You resented those that vied for your place. How could they romanticize such a life when every single day was torture for you. Some predicted you to be world-class singer before your first cry. People knew you before you could even speak to them. Everyone already idolized you, expected you to do great things before you’d even learn the alphabet.

The pressure had already been insurmountable the moment you took your first breath.

Your second life was terrifying to say the least. It didn’t matter that way you died before, just the thought of experiencing the same motions again frightened you to your bones.

And so you pretended. A shining star to a dim moon that barely reflected any light. Ever so meticulously making sure none knew of your so called genius. The last thing you wanted was to be labeled a prodigy even with the more lax nature of your new family.

But art will always call to you, a sunflower drawn to its source of energy.

You kept everything as lowkey as you could, reconnected with contacts you knew would keep their mouth shut, and even kept your identity away from prying eyes.

To the world you were just this masked musician that was oddly reminiscent of their previous luminescence.

You were satisfied with that life. Fame wasn’t something you agonized about or wished for. But now that veil had been taken away, it’s as if everything was crashing down yet again. Emails, messages and articles about your success as a young star was beginning to show its true weight. Stress began accumulating further and further as you had distanced yourself from your family and threw yourself to work as a distraction.

On one such ‘productive’ night, you were met with a face you didn’t expect.

“Aqua-niisama! Nice seeing you here. Thought you would be staying at that director’s place for the night—“

“Why didn’t you tell me? Didn’t you promise to tell me everything? Don’t you trust me?”

Aquamarine had this knack of being utterly terrifying without meaning to. He had the talent to frighten at a glance. His beautiful sea-like eyes turn dull, murky. Capturing all the light, and drowning you in the same pressure your old family would throw you under repeatedly.

With his arms caging you between his form and the wall, you knew there was no escaping this. So in spite of the crippling anxiety, you gulp it do

“I wasn’t confident enough with my skills. Your mom is the Ai Hoshino and Ruby is so talented I—“

He lowered his face, nestled it right beside yours. You could swear he was breathing in your scent. “You looked anything but ‘not confident’ up on the stage.”

“Liar.” His hands then moved from the wall to encircle themselves around your body; his face to your the top of your head and nose between your hair. Yet even in this tight embrace you still felt chills down your spine. “I scare you don’t I? You were worried that I would stop you like I did with her.”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry. I’m a terrible brother.”

“No, I understand you. You just wanted to keep her safe and I—“

“Not for that.” He pushed himself away for a couple of moments, and for that short amount of time you were ashamed to say that you felt utterly relieved until— “This.”

— he kissed you.

You’ve seen Aqua kiss Akane before. Both on and out of camera. You respected their relationship despite knowing of how unhealthy it truly is. They’d eventually break up and things would go smoothly you thought.

Pfft, as if. You knew shit would hit the fan. You were just too much of a coward to get in his way. Akane could suffer for all you care, she chose to date your psychopath of an adoptive brother anyways.

But you didn’t expect him to fall for you.

He never seem interested. Despite your mother telling you time and time again that Aqua cared deeply about you, you just couldn’t see it.

He was the deep, dark ocean. You were at the highest point of the sky, sailing across the cosmic sea. There was no way you two could meet eye to eye much less love normally.

You did the only thing your body could muster at the moment and slapped him.

“You’re right. You are a horrid brother.”

As you ran away, sobbing, Aqua couldn’t help but feel aroused.

Oh, how charming you looked with tears streaking down your cheeks.

It felt like hours when you first started crying nonstop. You never cried in your original life. You had no time or energy to. You never expected that your second, mundane life would be the one that shattered you.

And shattered you it did. You felt sorry for the future you who had to wash off all the tears and snot on your pillows and bedsheets, but it had to be done. You knew if you didn’t let it all out that day it’d happen sooner or later at a more inconvenient time.

Aqua only entered once to leave a tissue box and water bottle before he left. The sounds of typing outside of your room never ceased however, indicating he never actually went too far.

Ruby arrived far earlier than you expected as well. Her schedule that day should have had her busy til midnight but you had the feeling Aqua told her what he’d done.

“Ruby-nee—“

“Ssshhh…” Ruby silenced you with a kiss to the forehead.

“Why would he do that— he - he has a girlfriend.” You stuttered and hiccuped throughout your speech, still crying as hard as you did back then.

“Do you really think he loves her?”

“No.”

“But that isn’t what you’re worried about isn’t it?”

Ruby brought you up to her shoulder, massaging your back in a circular motion. “Trust me, nothing will change. He loves you very much. We both love you. I’m just sorry we didn’t make you feel comfortable enough to share your passion with us. You’re amazing [Y/N] in every shape, way or form. You don’t have to be the brightest to the world, you have no obligation to.”

“To us you’re already perfect.”

You never knew she had the capability to be this comforting in a mature sort of way. She always radiated a loud vibration; refreshing most of the time, though it did get tiring.

Never have you been afforded this kind of consolation. It was always you against the world. Being reminded that there are other stars in the sky beside you gave you a strange sense of solace. An odd variety of relief borne out of being insignificant in the sky.

“This incident just means he loves you in a different way alright?”

“But what about Aka-neesama?”

“I’ll talk to him about it.”

“You should thank me. I left them all vulnerable for you.” Aqua spoke, his right hand quickly moved across his laptop’s keyboard and his left held a can of Monster.

“You felt it too didn’t you?” Ruby exhaled. It took a while to get you to lull you into sleep; a necessary step to have the conversation she was partaking in.

“Yeah. . . I did.” Aqua took a sip from his drink, his starry eyes laser focused on the recording of your performance. He had set up several fan accounts and gotten footage from all sorts of angles. He couldn’t wait for your next stage. May it be from sheer excitement or the caffeine in his blood, but the man was absolutely shaking all over over in anticipation. “We have a second chance, don’t mess things up.”

“I should be saying that to you. Break up with Akane by next week. And be careful with how forward you are with your feelings.”

“Already done.” Aqua held up his phone without breaking moving his head at all, in his phone were a few texts between him and a panicking Akane. “and no promises”

Ruby sighed one last time that night, leaning her head back to your bedroom door. “. . . You were right.”

“Hm?”

Both of her eye’s stars hard turn tar black, a blush covered her cheeks.

“[Y/N] does look enticing when they cry.”

[creedslove]

DAVE YORK AND YOUR PREGNANCY - HEADCANONS

Dave York x f!reader

A/N: hi besties! I'm glad to see you all coming down to ask box to talk about Dave because honestly, I think the world needs to recognize more of murder daddy and our Dave York apologists™ community needs to grow! Also, I sort of kept this headcanon here in my mind and I've also had a bug craving of female rivalry with our favorite person to hate: Carol, hehehe enjoy 😉

• it's not a secret to anyone the whole reason why Dave married Carol was because she got pregnant in the first place; they didn't love each other that much, but their relationship wasn't all bad, so when she showed up knocked up it was only the logical step to jump into marriage

• and it was already in the early stages of the pregnancy, Dave noticed the task wasn't going to be as easy as he thought it would, or more like it, it would be as easy to be around Carol as he thought it would. Quite the opposite, she managed to show her true colors as soon as it finally sank in she was indeed pregnant

• their relationship wasn't the best thing that'd ever happened to either of them, but at least they had an active social life, had a decent sexual life and other stuff going on, things weren't always miserable, but whatever kind of bond that could exist between them was suddenly gone, as she did everything in her power to keep Dave away from her

• first of all, all she would complain was about being nauseous, which is common for pregnant women Dave knew, he wasn't a man cave after all, although it started to annoy the hell outta him the fact she claimed to feel sick at the smell of his perfume, his aftershave, his shampoo, his clothes and eventually himself

• and then, it started with the fact that whenever he put his hands on her, she couldn't even hide his grossed out she was; she simply didn't want to feel him, she didn't want him cooking her food and whenever she had an outburst for gaining weight or looking bigger, she would cry, scream, accuse and pick fights blaming it on him for making her body

• and as the pregnancy progressed, so did this situation, it was so stressful and annoying, the way she would just waste money on things, complaining about cute, heartfelt presents she got because she said her baby didn't need anything given to them, she also complained about whatever Dave bought, it was never correct: it was either too pink or not pink enough and so on

• by the time their daughter was born, Dave was already exhausted, and even if he loved her with all his heart, it wasn't what he expected from fatherhood, deep down he feared she would be just like her mom one day - sad news, she turned out exactly like Carol

• and Dave carried on his marriage without the same flame, he was disappointed in the person he married, and when his second girl came along, the experience wasn't any better, but there wasn't anything he couldn't do about it

• so when Dave got divorced and married you, things were so different, he enjoyed how light and gentle your marriage truly was; he loved the good dynamics you both had; how caring and affectionate you were towards each other, how fun days were without a heavy routine, just doing as you pleased and spending time with each other

• things were so good between the two of you, and as Dave finally learned how to sort of balance the distance from his daughters - you still found him in his office staring at pictures of them as toddlers during special holidays at the same time he sighed whenever he tried calling or texting them and was completely ignored it just replied with dry, annoyed texts, was when you found out you were pregnant

• Dave was a mix of feelings, he knew it was a possibility, after all you two weren't so careful with preventing it, but he couldn't help feeling his heart drop, just to imagine he would lose that close side of your relationship because of his experiences as a father and he was so scared about resenting his baby over it, as much as he tried reminding himself he wasn't like his mother at all

• so when you came to him and told about your suspicions, he was supportive, but you could tell he was holding himself back, and knowing about his marriage background and the real drama he often went on with Molly and Alice, you could have a good picture of how complicated things were

• so he drove you to the drugstore, he bought tests next to you and he waited by your side until you got the results - positive, of course - the next day, he drove you to the clinic and waited as you went through every single exam that could attest if you were indeed expecting

• and as much as he held you, kissed you and showed happiness, you still saw something was off, deep in down, Dave's biggest fear was that he was going to lose you to the baby, because Carol wasn't a great partner but whatever he had with her, was gone, and he couldn't face the same happening between the two of you

• you then, gave him some time and space, knowing he had a mission coming in the next few days, you really thought of asking him not to go, but you knew you couldn't actually do it, so you just wished him a nice and safe trip and reminded him how much you loved him

• and once Dave came back was when he realized that perhaps things weren't going to be lost between the two of you, because yeah, he called every single day to check up on you and the baby, and he knew you'd started your nausea/hunger/sleepy phase so he figured once he got home, you would star drifting apart from him

• but much to his surprise, you didn't, quite the opposite: you practically jumped on him, because you wanted to hug and hold Dave in your arms, you wanted to feel his warmth and weight, and god, his scent simply drove you insane with desire and satisfaction

• you complimented his cologne, his shampoo, the scent of his clothes, soap, you name it... you just loved everything and you loved burying your face into his neck and sniffing him

• his pancakes were also to die for: it didn't matter if he made them sweet or tried different salty recipes, if it was breakfast or just breakfast for dinner, you loved spending time with him and appreciating his food, and you also thanked him for adding fruits and many other healthy things into your diet

• your sex life also improved, with differences of course, mostly, Dave wouldn't be so rough, he was more romantic and soft towards you and there was no stress: you wanted him as much as he wanted you, the hormones, the passion, the romance was all in synch and even if you eventually got a little insecure about your body changes, there weren't cries, arguments, all it took the two of you was just some reassurance from Dave's side, the way he would sometimes hold you in front of a mirror and grab your lotion and spread all over your skin, or how he would nuzzled your neck and whisper into your ear how sexy you were becoming or even when he would bury himself between your thighs until you couldn't handle it anymore, was enough to settle things

• over the course of your pregnancy, Dave realized your bond was stronger than never, because you two were very much in love, you were expecting a child Dave already loved so much without the fear of this baby growing into an obnoxious child like it happened before

• the fact he was going to have a little boy after two girls was also pretty exciting for him, as he figured it would be somehow easier and he kind of had hopes to fix his own traumas by being a kind father to a boy, knowing what a boy needed as growing up

• he loved how happy and careful you were with everything you got as a gift for the baby: baby shoes, clothes, onesies, you were so thankful for people's kindness to gift your baby, never trash-talking anything you got and also thanking Dave for the gifts

• he realized you were both more united, not working against each other with a baby in the middle, but instead, working together in order to raise that precious little thing you two loved so much and it showed him a real meaning of family to him

• you two were meant to be, your baby was loved by the two of you with all your hearts and you couldn't want another life, things were good and the Yorks were finally happy the way they deserved to be ❤️

____

[arzuera]

Danny thought his most bizarre experience is being summoned by cultists as the Ghost King. Turns out his current predicament beats it by flying colors as he is currently bound as sacrifice for his own summoning circle.

He knew that his luck was bad but he didn’t think that it would be THIS bad. Dozens of cultists circled the raised ritual table and he was beginning to wonder if there would be an opportunity to free himself or not. Was it possible to die in his own summoning circle? Or would it just create some sort of endless paradox of life and death as he arose in his ghost form only to be sacrificed in his human one? This was something that had never been encountered before. There was no one to ask. Clockwork might know the outcome but unless it horrendously affected the time stream, odds are the ancient wasn’t going to interfere. So that left Danny with only one option. He had to get out of this himself.

But how was he going to do that without outing his alternate identity?

Just as he was pondering on using some of his ghostliness to freeze everyone in place, there was a loud explosion that shook the entire room. Several of the cultists scattered but the core ones remained in their spots so that the ritual wasn’t broken. The circle had begun to glow an ominous green as the ritual began to enter its beginning stages. Shouts and flashing lights followed as the newcomers stormed their way up the stairs toward the summoning. Danny sighed to himself in relief.

Maybe he wouldn’t have to do anything after all.

“Alright, you bloody show ponies. Step away from the circle and no one gets… Oh, bloody hell.” A familiar blonde man in a trench coat knocked anyone who tried to stop him out of his way. Only to stop when he saw the circle and the sacrifice who rested upon it. “Don’t you think this is a bit much? If you wanted to get my attention you have my fucking cellphone number for Christ's sake.”

Danny gave the man a wicked grin. His eyes lit up at the newest arrival. “But you know I have a flair for the dramatics, Constantine. Someone has to shake things up once in a while.” This was too good. The halfa flopped his head back against the table and wiggled in his restraints. “Please, save me! I am just a poor innocent young lad about to have his life cut short too soon to bring upon the end of the world.”

Constantine rolled his eyes at the theatrics. “Only one of those things is true and here I was calling these guys the show ponies. Hang on, your majesty. I’ll get you out in a minute.”

“Your majesty?” One of the cultists in the circle looked at the magician as he spoke. Only to be blasted off the circle by a fireball.

“Yep. I was told someone was trying to do something stupid and when I get here I find that they are trying to sacrifice someone stupid.” The magician sent several more of the cultists sprawling out of their positions with the lights of the summoning circle began to dim. “How did this even happen?!”

Danny hummed to himself as lights of magic flashed around him with the screams of cultists following soon after. “Well, it’s kind of a funny story actually. You see I was on a field trip to one of those ancient catacombs… you know… the ones where they have the bodies in the mass graves under the city?”

Another cultist was knocked out of place and the circle’s power diminished further. “Yeah, the Catacombs de Paris? Didn’t know that they did field trips to places like that.” Constantine walked up to Danny and waved his hand over the restraints. The ropes loosened and the teen sat up rubbing the spots where the skin was rubbed raw.

“Yeah, that place! And what did you expect from a school trip for Amity Park students? Our town is literally a portal to hell at this point. Why not see what other creepy places have to offer? We gotta broaden our horizons somehow.” Danny said and wiggled his toes. He ducked his head when a cultist went to grab him and Constantine sent another fireball sending them flying.

“Okay, and how does that lead you to become a sacrifice for your own circle?” Constantine asked once the last cultist was no longer within earshot. He grabbed the kid and started chanting a teleportation spell to get them to a nearby safe haven.

Danny allowed himself to rag doll in the adult's grip with a chuckle. “Oh! Well, apparently I give off a massive death aura when I come into contact with sites that contain a lot of death and tragedy. Some of the culty guys here were able to pick up on that and long story short… I’m posing pretty for you on a cool Gothic table.”

With a brilliant flash of light, the two were transported to the roof of a nearby hotel. Constantine released the boy, who fell to the ground with an ‘uff’, to pull out a cigarette and take a long drag from it. “Do you have any idea what could have happened to you if they had succeeded?”

“Honestly? No. In all of the Infinite Realm's history, there has never been a halfa as king. So there has never been an instance of mistaken identity like this before. However, thanks for the save. I wasn’t sure how I was going to get out of that without revealing who I was and it’s not like I could kill them.” Danny gave a small smile as he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. That was a lie. He could kill them easily. But that was a line that he wouldn’t cross if he couldn’t help it.

Constantine remained quiet for a moment. Just allowing himself to finish his cigarette before speaking again. “So do you need me to bring you back to your class or…?”

“Oh no! No no! I don’t think the teachers even noticed I’m gone. So I’ll just pop back into my hotel room.” Twin rings of light washed over Danny as he spoke and he gave the magician a bright smile. “And don’t worry, now that I know this can happen, I’ll have a plan to escape for next time. C’ya later, Constantine!” Turning invisible, Phantom flew off using the GPS in his phone to take him back to his hotel.

Sam and Tuck were going to be so mad about this.

[just2bubbly]

If we weren't meant to be together, why did we have to meet and fall in love? Kaider angsty

Masterlist / ao3

i actually had fun writing this, and that's not what i expected (no offence anon), don't get me wrong, I have written a lot of kaider angst revolving around the same storyline, so it has become somewhat dull now. i was supposed to write this for 'i miss you' prompt in the #tlcshipweek24 but with my assignments and lack of any commitment i just couldn't- BUT YEA THAT'S NOT THE POINT

i might have sorta convinced myself to wring a self-indulgent 5k words fic, cuz why not, the angst doesn't start intially, so if you are looking for the hard hitting lines, anon, you would have to scroll down a little, but that's all from my side, I hope you like it! <3

Let Me Let You Go

Words: 5.3k

Cinder's Perspective:

"Lunars and Earthens, we have the Lunar Queen in the house, Miss Selene Blackburn, revolutionary and New Beijing city's most talented mechanic. All of us owe the peace and perhaps our lives too to her! So let's give it a big round and be active as we discuss Miss Blackburn, before, after and through the years!"

The host announces as she walks onto the stage, lights flashing all around, until they come to focus on her.

Cinder flashes her methodic grin to the cameras, neither too cheerful nor too dull, the right amount of happiness that allows people to imagine she is satisfied with their work.

The bright glaring white light almost blinds her, unable to look around much but the quick blackout soothes the burn. Some newbie guides her to a seat, and she sits across from the infamous Natalie Sahoo, popular all around for the digital hype she starts. Cinder wouldn't pertain to entirely helpful when standing in the limelight.

The plush leather chair smells rich against the disinfectant-smelling space, and a few leather knots hanging around the corners help her calm her nerves. Pulling at the strings, she gives her fingers something to hold on to, as she would unnecessarily be asked about her life and beyond.

Cinder can't fathom how she has managed to get convinced to sit before a podcast, wearing a dress shirt and box skirt that Iko says makes her look ethereal, that would be watched by millions if not billions of people.

"You speak highly of me, Sahoo. I didn't come from any moral high ground, just a simple girl trying to break out." Cinder spoke once the camera blinked green, to show they were being recorded. She had turned off her inner screen, not wanting to get distracted by any notifications and comments that would be made during this interview.

Mrs Sahoo smiles, as reporters do when they find a slip-up. Cinder wonders if all the training Iko has enforced on her, will help prevent a scandalous rumour.

"Speaking of a simple girl, there is little known of your life before the revolution. The Linh family had adopted you, but there isn't much to say. Your schooling, high school sweethearts, the cybernetics - it all seems to add mystery to your character."

"Oh, no mystery at all," Cinder mimics, "There weren't any interesting things going around then, I had a mechanic shop on Prickett Street and spent most of my time there. I was 16 when the universe decided to intervene with my life, there weren't any romantic interests to pursue during that," Cinder elaborates, the lies in her latter words evident.

Everyone in this room knew about the romantic prospects of Kai and Cinder during the revolution, it had been a global scandal back then, The Commonwealth Emperor in love with a fugitive. However, Cinder wasn't going to be made a fool, entrapped with talks of sweethearts and lovers, into talking about her life's torn tapestry.

"So it seems, there had been much speculation about your adopted family being abusive, where they cut down your schooling, even tried to draft you in being one of those experiment rats. How would you say have these actions defined you in the future?" Sahoo asked, cleverly bypassing the agreement she had signed before, prohibiting her from indulging in a list of topics Cinder wasn't comfortable with. However, having asked a question about childhood, without the explicit mention of the Linhs, ensured her security over a sue.

Cinder won't hold the question against the agency, having never talked about her life with the Linhs, there were many speculations and Adri and Pearl's mouths were shut with the agreement drawn between them.

This interview gave her a chance to clear the air around her upbringing, and Cinder was bound to provide something to keep Sahoo backing away from the topics that did hurt.

One would know, how much Cinder hated to talk about the Linhs, having given them a fortune to spend the rest of their lives rolling on cash, they weren't keen on showing much grace.

"Garan had decided to bring me to New Beijing, he never made me feel inferior for my cybernetics. He was more of a scientist at heart, I would later learn that he had adopted me only to test with the bioelectric manipulation security system now in use.

The Linh family was quite fair until his tragic loss, and the whole dynamic changed later. 3 kids in a household with no real income, pushed Miss Adri to be very upset over things, and the fact that Garan hadn't any coverage spoiled her mood further.

My younger sister Peony and Iko, were the nicest things that happened to me in that household. Times had been tough with Leutomosis and poor employment opportunities, and even when that doesn't justify being cruel to a child, I have moved past the turmoil of it all. However, my early experiences have taught me to be kinder and more compassionate towards the underprivileged. Also, it somehow helped me not tolerate bullies in the Lunar Court under my term."

"That is much like the famous line, 'Heroes can't choose to look on the dark side, everyone else does it for them'. I think I will speak on behalf of everyone when I say that optimism is all that we want in our lives."

Cinder smiles ruefully at her, thinking over how people want a peaceful life without any traumatic experiences to overcome. There's no need for sorrow to follow you until you punch it in its face and stop lamenting, to be applauded.

There's a call by someone, and many 'cut' shouts are heard as the cameras stop rolling. A small break, it seems, and Cinder can't help but sigh in relief, all the questions about her lack of proper upbringing and life led to a feeling of dread, self-consciousness even.

The make-up artist approaches her, asking if she wants to touch up anything, but Cinder declines. If Iko isn't marching in this room asking for a change, Cinder is up to good. However, in reflex, she scratches against her neck, fidgeting with the cold jewellery chains.

They are back again within minutes, as Sahoo starts talking about the revolution, but there is nothing out of the blue. In all her prior interviews, they always wanted to know about her feelings during the moments of doom, if she had felt afraid, if the possibility of her death had ever crossed her mind, and whether controlling the newfound Lunar abilities had been a problem. She had become used to the monotony by then, answering everything with no new addition as such, until Sahoo decided that she wanted to ask for something more of Cinder.

"- the kidnapping, was it so easy to breach inside the Emperor's chambers and then take him hostage?" Sahoo asks, a jolly tone to her question as if suggesting that The Eastern Commonwealth had no regard for their Emperor's security.

"The implications you are trying to make, Natalie, can get you in deep trouble with the Commonwealth," Cinder cautions, a chuckle follows, "- taking the Emperor wasn't an easy feat like you made it to be. The post-hostage scenario, however, was pretty straightforward, since Ka- I mean, the Emperor was willing to be an accomplice to our plan. One can understand, his disdain for his marriage to Queen Levana."

Cinder replies, mentioning Kai's name in this interview was out of the question, thinking how she possibly had just handed Natalie Sahoo the opportunity she so adamantly had been looking for the last hour.

She smiled, hoping it didn't look like a grimace, and worried where this interview would end. The media house had all rights to stream this content, without considering any requests from Cinder.

Not to mention, Cinder couldn't stay shut for any questions, as that would result in many raised eyebrows and more speculations, which would feed the gossip columns for weeks if not months.

"-Now that you do mention, His Majesty, we hope to know more about your friendship." Sahoo smiles, somewhat evil, as she says 'friendship'.

"Will that stir a problem?" She asked, almost hungrily, as her lips perched against each other.

Cinder shakes her head, trying to curb the heartbeat that had been off to some mile sprint now, not letting the interviewer's words get to her.

She isn't known to give many one-on-one interviews, Sahoo would want to have something engaging from her that will make the show a sensation, and Cinder knows, she is doing her first interview since her break-up with Kai, he is married now, and it's obvious that they want to know what went so wrong between the two.

"Very well, Miss Blackburn, we have a few rumours running around for a while, the Emperor doesn't talk much, so we hope you are more resourceful!" Sahoo says, a wink thrown in her direction, doesn't help the churn of anxiety uphoarding inside her stomach.

"You have to be more specific darling, I have got quite a few of them," Cinder jokes, trying to throw the stress off her, if Natalie believes that she isn't crawling under her skin with the spotlight and unsettling questions, that would be enough.

"- the one about you having manipulated the Emperor, trying to play good unlike some other Queen, but he was-"

"A lie," Cinder hisses, before she can complete the statement, not wanting to put manipulation and Kai into the same sentence.

She imagines having used her charm to drill the words around as she sees a few willing nods around the room. The dread she felt seconds ago, has vanished and anger bloomed in its place.

"Why so ever?"

"Because it is," Cinder says, words stressed at the ending, giving a sense that there's no argument to be had, however, her companion isn't so accommodating to her demands as she counters.

"Perhaps an elaboration to make it seem more believable?"

"That rumour is a lie, and I'm not going to justify some baseless accusations, because people are too blind. Hence, you could move down a few questions, unless that's all for the day," Cinder asserts, making her position clear, she might not have much choice of answers, but she was not going to be toyed around for amusement.  

For all that people have to say, Cinder wouldn't tolerate speculations about manipulating Kai. It always left her feeling like someone had smudged her with bright neon sketch pens, left behind undone as the painter got tired before completing their work.

"-that won't be the problem, Miss Blackburn. Perhaps a short break could do us good," Natalie suggested, her words bringing Cinder out of her train of thought.  

"As much the idea is appealing, I'd decline. With all disposed of respect, I'd rather end our time sooner, to meet prior commitments obviously," Cinder mentions, the words filled with masked disdain.

The tight-lipped smile that Natalie puts on at the remark, feels like a balm, a reality check to her, Cinder might not hold much power before the screen but she has been a Queen for years, and had been taught well to use her words to her advantage. From the very best.

"It won't be long," Natalie says, skimming through flashcards, as she mentions a few sponsors, "-we would like to talk about where you see yourself, in the future, perhaps, in a sense of legacy?"

Cinder hadn't thought about the future much, taking things as they came made her feel less alarmed about things around her. She worked in a job that made a difference, with a long-standing fortune, so there wasn't much to crib over.  

"I have more than what I'd wanted when I was 16, so that sense of fulfilment keeps away thoughts of plans. Speaking of legacy, being the revolutionary and Lunar Queen has given a permanent spot in the history books. I'm content with that, but what I would like is to continue to make a difference in the inter-habilitation of Lunars and Earthens, along with giving the deserved merit to cyborgs."

"That is immense, we have all seen the reforms put into place after your coronation, and we desire Star's glory for you, but we hoped to learn more of personal plans?" Natalie explained, looking genuine, for the first time throughout the entire period.

"My life is a public affair, whatever do you mean?" Cinder asked, puzzled at the remark.

"Perhaps a beau, marriage?"

At that Cinder has to visibly hold back a laugh, a partner sits last on her list of wants, and she wishes to keep it like that, at least for some time.

One excruciatingly painful heartbreak is enough for her 20s, she thinks, as she answers, "Well, I'm not quite fond of the idea of commitment, for a while, don't think I have found someone worth settling down for!"

But what if she had?

NO! She won't be going down that path again, forcing all introspections of her regrets and guilts and mistakes mixed.

"-and can we say it's because of some black-haired royal?" The host implies, that sparkle in her shows exactly how contended the reference has made her.

Precisely.

A scoff mildly hidden with a tight-lipped smile embraces her features, saying the very name she had forbidden herself from uttering, "Kaito, or as I know him, Kai, has influenced a lot of things in my life, and I couldn't ever be thankful enough for his help navigating through my early years as the Lunar Queen. Kai is always going to be someone that was meant to be in my life, not necessarily as a partner, perhaps a friend, I haven't quite figured it out yet. So Kai isn't stopping me from living my life, it's the inevitable loss of a future I'd imagined that keeps me at bay," Cinder answered, unable to hold her words, once she started talking about Kai.

Praying she hadn't used any loose words that could lead to speculating troubles.

'Kai, is always going to be someone that was meant to be in my life,' Cinder had said, but Kai wasn't part of her life anymore.

He had a wife, who probably despised the utterance of her name, Cinder didn't hold the thought against her. To think that your husband married you because it was the only possible thing in the cards would sour anyone's mood- however, Cinder doesn't know that for sure and doesn't know if Kai married Daiyu because it was realistic or for love.

The thought leaves a haunting chill deep in her bones, as she questions, whether Kai truly loved Cinder.

The small gestures, and gift exchange through Thorne, or endless time spent trying to find excuses for an inter-galactic excursion couldn't all be fake, she believes, they were too elaborate- no one would want to help her find her favourite colour and learn the symbolism behind it, all in vain to leave a gaping hole in their absence, it's too much of an absurd idea, Cinder thinks.

Kai might have been a born diplomat, and sometimes he didn't do what he meant, but he wasn't a liar, Cinder couldn't recall all the time he had told her he loved her.

Not many times obviously, she thinks, trying to keep the scowl off her face.

On nights, when she failed to sleep, she wondered, whether Kai had still kept her prosthetic leg, stored in some corner of his office, or if he had discarded it because it was too much explanation for Daiyu-

"Miss Blackburn?" Natalie asked, hands hovering everywhere, as she touched her arm, shaking Cinder out of her reverie.

"Oh, yes, forgive me, I got lost in thought," Cinder said, clearly shaken, pulled against the chair, gulping down the glass of water offered.

"Oh, as I said, now that you brought up your shared history with His Majesty, our interests are peaked. Perhaps, curious enough to know what led to your ultimate downfall," Sahoo asks.

Cinder has to stop herself from going rigid, having anticipated this question while signing the media agreement.

She looks around, trying to see if Iko is still in the room with her, but isn't able to look beyond the bright glare of the camera, and the room afterwards is too dark for any visibility.

Cinder wonders if she begged Natalie to stop opening her wounds, which she had tried too hard to keep hidden, will she give her the dignity to leave, then reminds herself that Sahoo is a media person, they are the most inhuman creatures to exist.

"Would it be too dramatic, if I said fate?" She says, trying to aim for a joke, that lands well, from the laughs that burst in the already tense room.

"I don't know what you expect, there's no scandal or rumours that led to our fallout. It was more gradual like dust being laid on countertops, where you don't notice it until your hand is painted black at the slightest contact. We realized that with both of our responsibilities and titles, a future that found a balance between the two was becoming fatalistic as we grew older. The realization, with all its disappointments that followed, was the moment when I knew, it wouldn't survive."

And it didn't.

Cinder keeps the latter part to herself, having withheld the information of the prejudices the Commonwealth Court held against her, it wasn't that the future was looking bleak that hurt, it was knowing that Kai had believed that convincing everyone would be impossible, and ultimately had failed to uphold his promises to her that had been the problem.

Kai had convinced her for years that he would marry her, and her Lunar origins or cybernetics wouldn't pose a threat.

The distance between them only managed to get larger as he continued to fail to gain support for their marriage, he avoided facing her with his shoulders drooped low in dread, and the comms were intercepted by Torin, informing her about his absence, later their excursions became fewer, as Court representatives were being sent in the place of The Emperor.

Cinder wasn't blind to the signs, which led to the uneventful night on her Peace Ball to New Beijing.

"Cinder," Kai whispered, as she entered his suite, jumping into his bed, as she discarded her slippers. Cinder couldn't fathom why they cleared a suite for her visit when they knew she would spend all her time with Kai.

"Stars, I missed this smell, that hoodie you gave me didn't even last a month," She yearns, diving deep into the sheets, trying to envelop herself in the scent of Kai.

Her bliss doesn't last long, as she realizes that Kai hasn't joined her, blinking one eye open, she finds him fiddling as his fingers pull at the hair, "What?"

"Uh, nothing," Kai lies, and she knows it without looking at the blink of the orange light against her screen, 10 years into loving someone, you know.

She nods, leaving her very comfortable position, and says, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"But I need to," he pleaded, heading towards the back of his room, and his erratic breathing pattern made her follow him as she came to stand behind him.

"Are you ok?" She asks, squeezing his shoulders, concerns heightened, not wanting anything to keep him so disheartened.

"You should take a seat," Kai advises, pulling a chair for her, and the action confuses her more than providing comfort.

Cinder stays quiet, giving him the space to find the courage to talk, and in the meantime, she rubs her thumb on the back of his hand, offering support, not quite realizing that she would need it soon.

"This," Kai begins, his desk holograph shows a large copy of some file named 'Council Report',"- is the Council's opinion on us, or rather you," he states, making Cinder consider if it would have been better to stay in the suite the Commonwealth is so adamant to book for her.

"-and this is the woman they want me to marry," Kai says, turning to a picture of some women in white coats and pants. Her retina scanner gives her adequate information, majorly being that she is Chen Daiyu and her father is a Zulan Military General, who has connections in high places, the prospect will offer monetary gains to the industries under the General.

"And you want to tell me this because?" She questions, already having imagined the answer to it.

"I don't know," Kai murmurs, head hung low, and the sight causes something in Cinder to shatter, dropping his hand, she pulls herself up, and hisses, "You want me to make what I want to out of that statement?"

"What is there to make of it?"

"That you want me to make the choice, because you don't want the guilt eating you up!" Cinder exclaims, her body heating up with the anger building in her chest.

"What?! You can't throw in charges when you know how hard I have been trying to get the future we envisioned," Kai rasps, rising above to meet her eyes, but she is too damned to look out for poetic incidents.

"Definitely not enough, because this picture and that file says it!"

"I didn't want to keep you in the dark-"

"About what?! That I could find rumours about you cheating on me with some woman the Council approves?" She screams, knowing well how out of line her words are, but the hurt and the pain that is being constricted with each pump of blood in her heart makes her forget about her senses.

Cinder knows that Kai isn't also happy about it, but right now all she wants to do is hurt Kai like he had with the news.

"That's enough," Kai bellows, standing inches away from her, fingers pressed against her jaw, and had it not been for their situation, Cinder would have leaned in for a kiss, make-up with kisses sprawled across his torso for apologies, instead she turns, only for his hand to pull her back.

She thuds against his chest, all efforts to get out of his hold in vain, as he tilts her head and vows, "I will never cheat on you. Sit and we can talk like adults."

Her anger was somewhat tamed by the words or possibly his cologne which distracted her enough to sit across from him and talk calmly, nevertheless, it didn't stay like that for as long as she started.  

"You can't marry me," Cinder states, the words she had overthought for months didn't seem like a ridiculous scenario now but rather a concrete problem that might cost them their future together.

"I told you that the Council is against the idea not-"

"Exactly what I said, you can't marry me." She cuts him off, uttering the word again. Repeating the word doesn't subdue its impact.

Kai sighs, fingers twitching away a headache and the action punches her in the gut, the full implication of her words hitting her. She believes that the room is swirling around her and the only person that will try to make it stop cannot do it.

"Cinder, I didn't want it to come to this."

"I know, Kai. I know that you want to marry me, but you can't and hence you won't."

"That is not tr-"

"Kai," Cinder croaks, "I might not see you every day but I'm not blind. I know when things become inevitable," having said it she locks her eyes, the burning sensation in her throat prevents her from speaking further.

She senses the warm palm covering her face and leans into the contact, Kai is staring sharply into her eyes, the intent evident in his copper brown eyes, as he swears, "I will not let you go."

"You don't get it, do you?" Cinder sniffs, "You did let it go when you came with the portrait of that woman."

His forehead fell against hers and Cinder could feel the salty water drops fall on her cheeks, that's all that it required for the stabbing headache to come in full course, but she didn't mind it.

She pulled her arms against Kai's neck, and found herself in a tight embrace, fingers gripping on his shirt, as she clings closer that it feels like sitting in his lap.

The long list of warnings asking her to remain calm angers her further as she shuts her eyes, forcefully shooing the flashing signs away. Kai heaves, shoulders shuddering with the raw emotion, and buries his face in the crook of her neck, fabric dampening with the tears, as he whispers apologies.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please. I'm so fucking sorry."

"I know. It's ok. Breathe Kai. Yes, I know. Breathe."

And once both of them had got some resemblance of calm, he pulled back, palms rubbing his eyes, his face having lost all of its colour looked lifeless. Cinder gazes at the gigantic dampness of her shirt, the cold is welcome against her excessive body heat.

"I didn't want it to come to this," Kai croaked, breaking the silence mixed with their sniffs.

Cinder sadistically smiles at that remark, unable to find the words, she decides to be blunt, "But we are here."

"What are we going to do?"

"What they want you to do." Cinder whispers, making Kai twist his body towards her, visibly shocked at her words, she stops his argument before it begins.

"I know you tried, Kai. I want you to admit it to yourself and let us go. I will make that decision for you. This is all that we get in this lifetime."

"But what if I want more than this?"

"Then you make amends with your heart, Kai. Because what you want isn't going to happen."

"Cinder, please," Kai rasps, hands reaching out for her, but she is quick to move, and the hurt that flashes in his eyes would haunt her for months to come.

"It's been going too long, Kai. Listen to the Council this time, meet with Daiyu, but don't let her father manipulate you," Cinder advises, getting up to move, but her feet get rooted to the ground as she takes in his suite, for one last time.

"What thought brought you here tonight, Cindy?" Kai asks, his nickname for her causes unimaginable pain, the casual tone makes her forget about the horror around her.

"That I missed you, and wanted to wake up to find you staring," Cinder exclaims, too quickly, the time before she entered his suite, seems ages ago. So much seemed to change, in such a short time, and Cinder would give anything for it to stay the same.

One glance at the grief-stricken Emperor and she realizes, he is tongue-tied. Ever the diplomat Kai, who taught her how to give speeches and stress the right words to officials, is at the loss of words because he doesn't know what to say to her, but then he manages to find it in him to find the right words again.

"If we weren't meant to be together, why did we have to meet and fall in love?"

"I don't know, Kai. I don't think I will ever know." Cinder replies and her feet find their way out, and just before she slams the door on their shared future, she informs, "I will ask Marcus to do the intended work in my absence. I'd leave early for Luna tomorrow. I don't-" Her words cut short, before she whispers, "Goodbye, Kai," and shuts the door.  

"-do you want to reapply your makeup, ma'am?" Someone asks her, shaking her awake. Cinder nods, not wanting to look tense in the light of her recent memory occurrence. There's been no signs of body overheating, so she takes it as a relief.

"Well, Miss Blackburn, a few more questions and we will cut it?" Natalie asks, coming forth with her assistant, Cinder nods, murmuring a few words of approval.

The lights flash up again, and the green light shows they are back on recording. Cinder makes a note to never sign up for interviews again, for whatever reason, and for the last time puts on a dazzling role to make everyone believe she is having a good time.

"Very well, Lunars and Earthen, we are here with the last segment of our shared time with Miss Blackburn. This would involve a few questions from our audience," Natalie says, as a card is handed over, "Our very first being, having made such diverse friends during the revolution, do you feel that the distance hinders your friendship?"

"Uh, I don't think drifting friendship has been a problem for us, and that is not denying that I'm closer to some than others. We have yearly visits, and group chats that keep us updated on each other's life, so the distance isn't much of a problem. However, it would have been fun to live closer and meet more often than we do," Cinder answers, thinking fondly about the Rampion Crew, she has grown to love more than anything.

This friendship would not be something that would be taken for granted, especially the one of Thorne, her heartfelt response would likely be followed by a teasing comm afterwards.  

"How wonderful to have friends that make you feel seen even with the distance," Sahoo coos, and for once Cinder agrees with her.

"Our next one, uh oh, I hope you don't mind this one, Miss Blackburn!"

Her remark confuses Cinder, but the follow-up question makes room for much misery.

"-what would you say about relationships that do not lead to permanent commitment?"

"I don't think what I say will sit well with many, I spent over 10 years of my life loving someone, and that did not lead to anything. But that doesn't make all the time shared worthless. Sometimes you find someone you would want to spend your entire life with, but you cannot- and when you reach that point, you find out whether you love that person so much that you can let them go, and find solace in watching them live a life you wanted to share with them."

Her words remind her of the question Kai had asked her, 'If we weren't meant to be together, why did we have to meet and fall in love?' and this time she knows the answer to the puzzle that had been sitting on her mind for long.

"Cut," the head cameraman yells, and Cinder notices Iko walking towards her, and announces, smiling cheekily as she flings her dark purple hair, looking almost apologetic, "Natalie, I hate to cut it short, but Selene needs to be elsewhere."

The scowl of disappointment that Natalie gives Iko, is taken well by her bosom friend, as she frowns, allowing a compromise of a show closure.

It's a small affair, over within minutes, Cinder thanks everybody around before she follows Iko out, knowing well that she hadn't had anything waiting after the interview.

"What was that?" She asks, hurrying into the small lobby of the hotel.

"I looked into the audience questions, most of them were about Kai. I intervened because I didn't want you to be cornered into answering anything you weren't comfortable with," Iko explains.

Cinder wants to hug Iko so tightly that she chokes on the embrace, instead side-hugging her frame as she whispers a 'thank you'.

"Do you think he would watch this?" Cinder asks as they wait for their pod to arrive, thinking what Kai will make of her words.

"If he is confused like you were, maybe he should. Nonetheless, his media person would convey the gest," Iko mutters.

She catches on to the past tense in her dialogue but chooses not to comment, knowing that if Iko is convinced, maybe it's time she should be too.

--

taglist: @gingerale2017 @slmkaider @impossiblesuitcase @kaiderforever @fangirlforever0704 @cinderswrench @salt-warrior

thanks for reading!!

[ddarker-dreams]

Patiently waiting for your thoughts on Fontaine’s new archon quest 🫡

oh man. i do have some thoughts to share.

(warning for spoilers to those who haven't played through the latest archon quest)!

OKAY, so — overall? i enjoyed it. the fortress of meropide section felt a little tedious at times, i'm begging mihoyo to abandon those awful 'stealth' 'gameplay' sections. aside from that though, i was always interested enough to keep moving ahead. i especially like how they wrote navia. the story of her and her father got me emotionally invested in her as a character, i actually teared up at one point.

i was glad they avoided their infamous 'introduce a character and have them betray you' shtick. idk if that was a quota they had to reach before and that's why they did it so often, but in any case, it made for a refreshing change. the reveal of fontaine's history, the serial disappearances, focalors and furina; there were lots of intriguing story beats. furina's story might somehow be one of the saddest in genshin yet?? the execution of the reveal and the final conversation between focalors and neuvillette packed a strong emotional punch.

onto my gripes...

childe. why. why'd they do my man like that. the buildup was so interesting! the cutscene where he helps neuvillette subdue the space whale had me frothing at the mouth. him in his foul legacy armor ... his leitmotif playing... him growling and grunting.... oh, how happy i was, naïve thing that i am. i was a bit confused how they dedicated a total of three seconds to traveler and the floating fiend going 'oh wow there's childe ig.' like ??? at this point in the story, i thought they were sorta buddies??

the space whale's execution confused me. i expected it to be deeply tied to fontaine's past, or at the very least give some abyss bread crumbs, but it just kinda flopped around and stuff. the fight was cool, don't get me wrong. but the whole 'yeah this whale is some dude's pet lol' bit just felt odd. i get that they want to prove the Big Important Name Fella is suuuper important and suuuper strong but c'mon. at least make the space whale a creation that ran rampant or something.

i could've forgiven the space whale shenanigans if we got a nice conversation with childe at the end. how did he feel in the abyss? was he fighting the whale to keep the people of fontaine safe, out of bloodlust, or something in between? what was it like seeing skirk again? how much time felt like it passed when he was in whale abyss prison? does his vision resonate with him properly again?

instead, we just get a few throwaway lines that he's back in snezhnaya healing up. did they run out of budget to book his VA?? i get they have to be selective with lore drops, but there are so many ways around that.

my last major gripe is how they went about furina's character quest. maybe i'm just an oversensitive weenie (i definitely am), but the traveler and flying creature's interactions with furina... i was physically grimacing. how did they seriously think it was a good idea to ask the person who has been tormented by acting for 500 years to give the stage another shot? imo, it would've been fine if they tried that, furina rejected them, and everything played out about the same. but those bits where traveler + the imp kept pressuring furina felt so weeeeeeird. i genuinely didn't want to click the dialogue options. if this was framed differently, that would've also been fine, but it's kinda a 'haha :3 epic paimon says teehee te nandayo reddit gold' light.

tl;dr i liked the overall experience but someone needs to delete paimon from the game + treat their characters as more than a punchline.

[xiubaek-13]

Chapter 47 - Do It Together

Requested: No

Genre: Canon-AU, smut

Pairing: ? (at this stage undecided) x Reader or is it Baekhyun x Reader ?

Warnings: 18+ fic, minors DNI! Smut, power play, pet names, dom/sub dynamics (if you squint), oral (m & f receiving), threesome mfm, unprotected sex (don't be like them), overstimulation, restraint, vaginal fingering, face fucking, vaginal sex, creampie, masturbation (m), dirty talk, like the entire chapter is smut ok? You've been warned.

Word Count: 10,350

A/N: Oh boy, ok so this took some time but also, these are my two EXO biases so writing this put me through it. There is only one chapter left after this and then this story will finally come to a close. It's been a labour of love (and took many more years to complete than I ever anticipated) and I'm thankful to each and every one of you who read and interact with this.

“Ok but like, if he comes back are we really doing this?” Baekhyun asked as soon as Minseok had left the room.

“Only if we all agree to the terms of the reward and are willing. He likes to be in charge so I dare say he’ll have rules about what you can and cannot do. So if you aren’t ok with being instructed by Xiumin then probably mention it sooner rather than later.” You replied. You paused for a moment then added. “I cannot tell you how nervous he has been to bring it up with you Baek. He was so certain that you would laugh and reject him. So like, let him down easy if you don’t want to do this.” The last thing you wanted was for him to come back only for Baek to change his mind. Minseok would be so embarrassed.

He shook his head and moved his chair closer to yours. “No, like I said, I’m completely down for this and I don’t mind if I’m in charge or if someone else is when sex is concerned.” 

“So versatile.” You smirked.

“You love it.” He winked.

“Actually, I don’t think I’ve experienced you not being in charge like that.” You let your mind drift as you imagined the different possibilities. Would Xiumin lay down a few generalised rules or would he direct the whole experience? Would he make Baek watch? Would he watch you and Baek? 

Baekhyun hummed in response, obviously also letting his imagination run wild with the opportunities this night might bring. 

You laughed as you caught him lost in thought. “I can always leave if you want him to yourself Baek.” 

Baekhyun raised a brow at you before smirking. “If that was something I was down for, why do I feel like you’d want to watch?” You blushed at the thought.

“Moving on.” You murmured. Why was your face so warm?

Your embarrassment was not missed by Baek. “Oh we are most definitely discussing that later.” He grinned. 

“I said moving on.” You repeated. That wasn’t something you were going to unpack right now but there was no denying that the image in your brain was anything other than hot. 

“Mmmhmm, for now.” He agreed. Baekhyun’s face took on an inquisitive expression as he asked. “Did he have someone else in mind or was I really his first choice for this?”

You nodded. “As far as he told me, which stretches back to before these lessons began, you were his choice.” The man across from you preened at this. “Don’t let it go to your head Baek.”

He smiled softly. “Bit hard not to, if I'm being honest.” Byun Baekhyun sounded genuinely flattered. For all of his bravado and confidence in all other areas of his life somehow Minseok choosing him made him coy? He then added. “I don’t know who I thought he’d pick, but I wasn’t expecting to be his first choice for something like this.”

You levelled your gaze at him. “You are literally the mood maker of the group. He trusts you to listen to him when he’s serious about something but also to keep any situation light hearted and not let things get awkward.” You paused, then shrugged. “If you think about it, you’re kind of the perfect choice for this.”

His small smile started to turn smug. “So many compliments for me in such a short time. You should stop feeding my ego noona.” He leant forward so his lips could brush your ear. “Especially after our earlier conversation.” You felt his hand glide over your waist, sending a shiver through your body. You were so responsive and ready for the night to proceed, certain that you’d fall apart quickly for them. “Whilst that particular activity was a very pleasant surprise - and came with a happy ending - I can’t honestly say I’m completely satisfied. I got to hear all the pretty noises you make for me but I didn’t get to touch you.” His hand gripped your waist as he spoke, his thumb rubbing small circles, the motion coupled with his words caused your breath to shudder.

“So many things I want to do to you noona,” Baekhyun leaned down, his soft lips peppering kisses on your shoulder, working his way up your neck. “I don’t know what I want more, to fuck you and have him watch.” His teeth grazed over your collarbone, sending even more shivers as you gasped aloud this time. “To watch him fuck you.” You felt him smile against your skin as he let out a soft chuckle as your body betrayed you with another shudder before he continued his path and kissed up your neck, “Or both of us take you at the same time, until you’re so fucked out you can’t form a single.” to your chin, “coherent.” then to your jaw. “thought.” He brought your face to his, locking your lips together in a searing, hunger filled kiss. Your hands moved to cup his cheeks as his grip on your waist pulled you closer towards him. 

“Baek,” You murmured through the haze of lust that was threatening to take over your senses. You were barely keeping your desire restrained and Baekhyun’s lips on your body and the words coming out of his mouth were in no way helping ground you for what was to come. You also didn’t want the first thing for Xiumin to see when he returned was that the two of you didn’t even wait for him before you got started. You could see the look of disapproval he’d give you and it was enough to break through the sinful feeling of Baekhyun’s lips and wandering hands on you. You pushed him with just enough force to separate yourself from him. “We need to wait. This is his reward, we can’t ruin it for him.”

He pouted at you, almost sulking. “Well hyung needs to hurry the fuck up then, because I want more of you.” 

You laughed softly. “Did you or did you not say less than ten minutes ago that you were good at taking direction? You’re sounding like a real brat right now.” 

“Shut up. I’m horny. My brain is like 85% not in use right now okay?” He made a point of shoving his hands under his thighs, basically sitting on them, in order to stop himself from reaching out to touch you.

You weren’t faring much better, holding on to your self control by tattered threads. You needed Xiumin to come back and take control of this whole situation before Baekhyun and you could no longer resist the temptation. “Yeah, well you aren’t the only horny one Baek.” You sighed. “But we need to control ourselves. You have no idea how nervous he’s been about discussing this. Without me slipping up I don’t know if he’d ever have actually discussed it with you.”

Baekhyun took a few deep breaths as he tried his best to put his lust in check and wait. He knew you were right, and that he also wanted this reward to be everything Minseok hoped it would be. He didn’t have to be happy about waiting though. “Fine,” he conceded at last. “We wait.”

Thankfully neither of you would have to wait much longer.

***

You could feel the shift in the air when he returned to the room. Minseok had taken time to calm himself, and you assumed, mentally prepared himself for the role he was about to play. The switch into his more dominant side was always fascinating to you. It was always there but when he turned it towards the bedroom it was just so damn sexy. The others got to see him tap into a sexy persona during choreo and take charge in certain situations but most of the time he was just their cute, nagging hyung. 

Sure, they’d all shared a living space for many years and had no doubt seen and heard everything more times than they wanted to count. There was no one who could convince you that if you placed a group of guys in their late teens to early twenties together that they were never caught masturbating or having sex by any of the others. But actively including one of those guys in your own sexual experiences? Now that was something you were less sure they had done - and if any had, clearly the two men you were currently with had not been involved. Regardless, it was happening tonight and you had a front row seat, or rather, you were on the stage with them, a very active and willing participant. 

Xiumin walked towards the two of you but didn't take a seat. Instead he picked up one of the arm chairs and moved it so that it was facing the end of the bed, then pushed it to the left until he was satisfied with the off centre view of the bed whoever sat in it would have. The new angle would definitely provide a better view of whatever happened on the bed. So he wanted someone to watch? He turned to face the two of you, motioning for you to move towards the bed. “Noona, please take a seat.” He gestured to the armchair, so you did as you were told and took a seat. He took a seat at the end of the bed, tapping the spot next to him for Baekhyun to follow suit.

Once Baekhyun was also seated he began to speak. Gone was the nervous wreck that was Minseok, replaced by the very self assured, confident and in control Xiumin who was ready to receive his reward. “Before we begin we need to go over some ground rules.” Both Baek and you nodded in agreement causing Xiu to chuckle. “Firstly, words are required. If you are asked a question, want something or are spoken to, I expect it to be conveyed verbally.” He paused as he waited for the two of you to realise that he was waiting for confirmation that you each understood him.

“Got it.” Baek replied. “Uh, do I have to call you anything in particular? Or can I stick with hyung?” He asked. 

“Hyung or a variation of Xiumin is fine for you to use Baek.” He replied. His eyes turned to you. “You, however, will refer to me as Xiumin, Xiu or Sir tonight. Am I clear?”

Instinctively you began to nod, catching yourself when he raised a brow at you. “Very clear Xiumin.” You replied, doing your best to mask the desire that was building in you again. You and Minseok had engaged in power play on more than one occasion, but most of the time it was simply him taking control as you lost yourself to pleasure. Xiumin was going to control what all of you got to experience tonight, and you could tell that if you didn’t do as you were told then you weren’t getting any relief. Your thighs rubbed together in anticipation.

“Secondly, we need to discuss how this will play out, everyone’s limits and a safe word.” He looked at each of you and smiled softly. “I think we start with each of your limits.”

Baekhyun smiled and gestured for you to go first. “Ok, well I guess as far as my own limits go, I don’t like extreme pain. Light stuff like restraints and spanking is fine but actual pain crosses the line for me. Uh, I’m also not ok with any bodily fluids that aren’t cum or saliva. Oh, and I’m not a fan of anal. I think that’s all?” There were probably more but as far as ones that might come into play tonight, those were all you could think of. 

Xiumin nodded. “Pity about the last one, but noted. Baek, what about you?”

Baek shrugged. “Uh honestly? Apart from the same bodily fluids thing as noona, I don’t think I have any. I will let you know if I’m not ok with anything as it happens - though I kind of doubt that I’ll have to.” 

You thought of one almost immediately and cocked your head as you spoke. “You don’t like degradation.” 

He nodded. “Oh yeah, I don’t like it, it’s not a hard limit for me but praise is far more effective for me.” He thought hard for a few more moments before deciding that no, there were no other limits he thought needed mentioning. “What about you hyung?”

Xiumin didn’t miss a beat. “I have a few but I think the only relevant ones for tonight are degradation and causing actual pain. If I hurt either of you, you need to tell me immediately. I wouldn’t forgive myself if I caused you pain without any pleasure. I like to play rough but not at the expense of the other person, or in this case, people’s enjoyment.” He sighed. “But essentially, that’s all for me.” He looked at each of you earnestly as he summarised. “Ok so no inflicting pain, no degradation and no anal for noona. All of that should be easy enough to work around.”

Baekhyun raised his hand. You choked back a laugh as Xiumin raised one brow at him. “Yes Baek?” 

“I still have questions.” He said.

“Of course you do.” Xiumin sighed. “Go ahead and ask then.” Baekhyun’s eyes lit up but before he could utter a word Xiumin added on with some exasperation. “Don’t make me regret this.”

Baek shook his head. “It’s nothing strange, just how will this work? Are we going with the flow or are you telling us what to do? If you’re telling us what to do, can we also make suggestions? Are we fucking her at the same time, one after the other, is there anything that’s off the table for you? Is -” He stopped speaking when Xiumin held up a hand.

“Ok that’s all the questions you get to ask. What was that, seven in like 5 seconds? I was getting to all of this you impatient fuck.” He shook his head, trust Baek to always find a way to test his patience. “To answer pretty much all of it, I like being in control so I’ll tell you what to do in a broad sense, and you’ll do that until I give further instructions. You can make suggestions but I reserve the right to deny said requests.” Baek nodded, remembering at the last second to verbalise his understanding. Xiumin acknowledged him then  turned his head and locked eyes with you. “Any questions before we begin?” 

“No.” You replied. 

He stared at you, as if he was waiting for you to say something else, but for the life of you, you couldn’t think of what that was. He shook his head ever so slightly then spoke. “No?”

You paused. You’d forgotten something, but what was it? He wanted you to speak in response to him rather than rely on non verbal cues. You’d done that, so what else was there? You could feel his eyes on you as he waited for you to reply again. You glanced at Baek, hoping he would provide insight into what you’d missed but all he did was give you a little salute. Weird. Why would he be saluting you? There was no context for that, and even as strange as his gestures could be at times, they always fitted in contextually with what was going on. Oh. OH. You realised 5 seconds later than it should have taken you to. Xiumin told you to refer to him in specific ways tonight. You returned your eyes to his expectant gaze. “No sir.”

It seemed to do the trick, as you saw him let out a breath that you weren’t aware he’d been holding. “That’s more like it.” He licked his lips, his eyes flitting between yours and your lips. The desire he was holding back was evident, but as the three of you stood on the precipice of beginning this thing, you could see the fire building in him. This was his fantasy, and he was about to make it a reality. After months and months of build up, and weeks of him fearing he’d be rejected for even suggesting it, it was happening, he just had to take the final step over the precipice and set everything in motion. You couldn’t help but smile at him as you waited for him to give the first instruction, knowing he was having one final internal debate about the entire thing, and probably on some level fretting about the cleanup afterwards. 

You didn’t want to be disobedient but if he took too long to get things going you weren’t sure you’d be able to stop yourself from throwing yourself at him. It had been too long since you’d felt his lips on yours. He took a deep breath, squared his shoulders and took the leap. “Baek, I want you to move up to the other end of the bed and sit against the headboard.”

“Ok hyung.” He replied eagerly. “Clothes on or off at this stage?”

“Leave them on for now.” He replied. Baek obeyed, pushed himself to the other end of the bed and leant against the headboard as instructed. He looked comfortable, but the desire in his eyes told you he was desperate to touch you, or himself. He spread his legs and smirked at you, your joke about his manspreading replaying in your mind. You failed to keep the small laugh in. Xiumin looked at you then at Baek and sighed. “What?” He asked.

A look of apprehension appeared on his face and you wanted to squash any growing doubts immediately. Of course you laughed at the worst time, right as he decided to start his rewards. Naturally he now thought the two of you were mocking him, which was absolutely not the case. “I once made an observation about Baek’s chronic manspreading. His reply was that there was a lot of room for activities between his thighs.” You explained. Relief and annoyance flooded him. 

Baek scoffed. “That particular observation was made via text, in a room full of staff and you guys on the day of a concert.”

Xiumin sighed to himself. “Oh my god, you are both such brats.” He reached forward and grabbed your hand gently, tugging you toward the bed. “Baby, go sit between his legs, with your back facing him.” 

You placed a chaste kiss on his hand as you stood. “Can I offer a suggestion hyung?” Baek asked as you moved on the bed towards him.

“Go ahead.” He replied.

You felt Baek’s chest against your back as you leant back against him. “She should place her legs over mine, leaving you sufficient room,” He smirked. “For activities.” 

Xiumin shook his head as a laugh escaped him. “You know what, terrible joke aside, that’s a good idea.” He nodded at you. “Baby, do as Baek suggested.” You couldn’t help the blush as you did as you were told. You felt exposed, even though you were still fully clothed. Xiumin sat back and looked at the two of you, taking in the sight before him, his eyes practically shining as he did so. Baek hadn’t touched you since Xiumin had entered the room. He was behaving and doing as he was told, a rare sight to behold. His eyes travelled down your body, satisfied with how you were spread open for him, unable to close your legs when he got closer. 

Xiumin swallowed thickly as he crawled up the bed towards the two of you. He made his way into the space left for him between your legs. Once there he hooked a finger under your chin as he guided your face closer to his. He absentmindedly parted his lips the closer you got to him. You licked yours in response. You heard Baek suck in a breath when Xiumin leaned in, capturing your lips in a soft but sure kiss. You felt your body relax at the familiar feeling of his lips on yours. You sighed into it, your hands moving up to cup behind Xiumin’s neck and pull him forward, closer to you. He allowed you to control the kiss for a moment before pushing you as far back as he could without losing his balance. You could feel Baekhyun breathing erratically behind you, unable to do anything but watch as you and Xiumin made out. The kiss had started soft as the two of you got reacquainted with each other but it was rapidly growing more passionate as your tongues collided with each other.

“Fuck.” You heard Baek murmur from behind you. You felt an unmistakable hardness forming against the small of your back as the kiss grew more heated. You moaned into Xiumin’s mouth as he pulled your bottom lip between his teeth and bit. He pulled back to survey his work, taking in your dilated pupils and flushed face. 

“That gone after one kiss?” He remarked, though not entirely faring much better himself. “How wrecked are you going to look after Baek has his turn?” You tried to respond but all of the pent up desire from the day chose to flood your system. All you could feel was your desire for each of them and the fact that at that exact moment, no one was touching you. A whimper escaped you, making Xiumin chuckle. “You want Baek to kiss you baby?”

“Please.” You sounded far more desperate than you wanted to, but you needed it. It was difficult to describe the feelings you were experiencing but the overwhelming desire was clouding everything in its path. Logic and reason were locked away for the night, and you were going to indulge in Xiumin’s fantasy and love every moment of it. As long as someone touched you, right away. Otherwise you felt like you might implode. “Xiu please,”

“Go on Baek, give her what she wants.” He instructed, his eyes never leaving yours. Baek didn’t need to be told twice. You felt the soft press of his lips on your neck which made your eyes flutter as you gasped. You felt Baek smile against your skin as he continued peppering kisses along your neck and jaw before his hand turned your face towards his so he could capture your lips in a searing kiss. His other hand held you firmly against him as the two of you made out. Xiumin took advantage of your neck being bared to him and, not to be outdone by Baek, began peppering it with kisses. You let out a soft moan, and it was as if the tension in the room snapped, taking everyone’s restraint with it. You felt Baekhyun pressing against you as his body sought out any friction he could get, at the same time Xiumin’s soft kisses to your neck became deeper. Every time you felt the scrape of his teeth on your neck you moaned, each one louder than the last. 

Baekhyun noticed what his hyung was doing and took the opportunity to short circuit your brain by doing the exact same thing as Xiumin was. The feeling of having your neck ravished by both men was making you light headed. You were pretty sure that Baek was leaving marks all over the expanse of your neck. The previous marks he’d left had only just faded, not that you cared one bit in that moment. It was nothing an oversized scarf and hoodie couldn’t cover. 

Both men managed to detach themselves from you long enough for Xiumin to utter “Help me strip her.” Baek removed all the clothing on your upper body while he removed your pants, leaving you in just your panties while they were still fully clothed. 

Xiumin scowled at the dark hickey on your hip - the one that had yet to fade, asking who left that mark on you. “That would be me hyung.” Baek replied, “I couldn’t help myself.” He shrugged. He might not have noticed the way Xiumin’s jaw clenched as he stared at the mark, but you sure had, even through the haze of lust clouding your mind. He wasn’t the jealous type but something about them was making him tense. It was on your hip, hidden by clothing but for anyone who got you undressed enough to see it, it was left as a clear reminder of who had been there before them. Of who had claimed you as theirs.

You moved your hand up to cup his jaw softly. His sharp eyes, darkened with lust and something else, something carnal, lifted to yours, and stared at you. “Xiumin, are you jealous that he left marks there?” His gaze swirled with something dangerous, but not dangerous enough to deter you. 

“Careful.” He murmured. His piercing gaze made you feel like prey about to be devoured. Something you were absolutely not against. You steeled your resolve, wanting to make him let loose like you knew he could. If you pushed him just the right amount, he’d forget every insecurity he had about this reward and lose himself to dominating everyone's pleasure. You’d never regretted it in the past so you figured giving him that little push now would result in you getting fucked within an inch of your life before the night was over.

You leant forward, until your mouth ghosted his ear as you whispered. “Would you like to leave your own marks on me Sir?” You heard the hitch in his breath as you spoke. “I’d love it if you left your mark on me. Every time I see it I’d be reminded of exactly what you did to me.” You pulled back, kissing the corner of his lips as you settled back against Baekhyun’s body. From deep within his throat, it sounded like Xiumin growled.

“Hold her hands behind her back. Both of you are going to sit there and watch,” He rasped. “And you,” he said as his eyes locked back onto yours. “Will not cum until I allow you to.” 

“Yes, Sir.” You replied as Baekhyun pulled your hands behind your back and held them in place. 

Xiumin kissed you harshly, the force of him pushing you further back into Baekhyun. You had to arch your back slightly to remain as comfortable as you could in his hold. He broke the kiss and began his descent down your body. He took your request to heart, nipping and sucking your flesh as he moved from your mouth, to your neck, your chest, and stomach before settling between your thighs. Your head was becoming fuzzy from the stimulation, and your body was responding in kind. You could feel the heat running from your neck, down through your chest and settling in your stomach. You weren’t going to be able to look in a mirror and not think of Xiumin for weeks at this rate. 

Your body felt like a live wire. If no one touched you properly soon, you might just cry from how turned on you were. Xiumin’s eyes connected with Baekhyun’s as he clamped his jaw onto your upper thigh, and sucked hard. Baekhyun’s breath hitched and you felt him roll his hips against your lower back, his now hard length grazing your hands. You moaned loudly at the sensation. These two were going to be the death of you tonight, you were this far gone and you’d barely even begun. 

“Look at you, soaking through your panties. We haven’t even touched you properly yet.” He licked his lips as he hooked your legs back over Baekhyun’s, spreading you wide for him. You whimpered, so turned on and desperate for one of them to touch you where you needed it. Xiumin was an excruciatingly patient man though, you knew this as a fact. He would touch you when he was good and ready, and not a moment before that. He probably wanted to get you so worked up that you cried when he finally did give you what you wanted. “Does noona want me to touch her?” He asked condescendingly. Without waiting for your answer he pressed a finger over your clothed pussy, rubbing the digit over the wet spot of your soaked panties. You gasped at the feeling, your hands grasping behind your back, not realising until he whimpered in your ear that you’d palmed Baek’s hard length. Xiumin smirked up at both of you. “I honestly can’t tell if I’m about to ruin both of you or if you’re about to ruin me.” 

“Hyung.” Baekhyun sounded breathless as he stared down at Xiumin between your legs, the elder toying with your panties as he drew out whines from you. Unbeknownst to him, every time he drew a whine from you, your hand clenched around Baekhyun’s cock. Baekhyun’s eyes were beginning to glaze over with want. He was doing everything in his power to not run his mouth or rut up into your hands. “Hyung please, god, please touch her.” 

Xiumin gave him a shit eating grin as he continued playing with your clothed pussy, the fabric now completely soaked through as it all but stuck to you. “I thought I was touching her.” He leant forward and licked a stripe up your ruined panties, making you moan desperately. “See how responsive she is to my touches?”

“Please,” You all but sobbed. “Please, I need more.” Your chest heaved as you tried to regulate your breathing. You felt trapped between their two bodies, your own screaming with desire. “Sir, please.” 

Apparently your near broken plea coupled with calling him Sir was all it took for Xiumin to crack. His control wavered, his patience almost lost as he ripped your panties off of you. You barely even registered the fabric tearing. His eyes floated down, taking in the soaking mess in between your legs. “You’re so fucking wet noona, just for us.” He licked his lips, that devilish smile back. You didn’t have time to breathe before he moved forward, his tongue licking a thick stripe through your folds. His voice deepened with a moan. “You taste so fucking good.” His hot breath joined in the sensational overload as his tongue ran over your clit, brushing little strokes of varying pressure and sending little shocks through your core and up your spine. “You always taste so fucking good.” He murmured against you, the vibrations sending jolts of pleasure through you. “Could eat you out all day, shit.”

Words failed you when he addressed Baek. “Doesn’t she taste divine?” His face still buried in your folds, teasing you with his skillful tongue.

Baekhyun hummed as he rolled his hips into your hand, unable to stop himself from seeking the friction. “Always hyung.” He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight of Xiumin all but making out with your pussy. “Makes it hard to stop eating her out.” He groaned as you flattened your palm against the head of his cock. It wasn’t enough, the layers of clothing separating you from him prevented the pleasure from feeling anything but teasing. Still it was better than nothing.

“You’re not wrong. I could stay here for hours.” Xiumin replied. You cried out as his tongue entered your needy hole, lapping at your juices, and you clenched around the muscle. He ate you out like a man starved. He latched onto your clit and sucked while his skilled tongue flicked over it with desperate movements. You knew it wouldn’t take you long to reach your peak, not with all the anticipation and teasing that had led to this point. You felt your legs tremble as your orgasm built inside you. But you weren’t allowed to cum yet, Xiumin hadn’t said you could. You didn’t know how you could possibly stop yourself from teetering over the edge but you tried your best to last as long as you could for him. You didn’t want to disobey him today, you wanted to be good for him. 

The two of you had dabbled in having him be a brat tamer before, and whilst that was a very very fond memory, it was not fitting for today. His low voice pulled you from your thoughts. “Are you ok baby?” The pressure within you was mounting and your body shook from every flick of his tongue over your clit. You couldn’t speak, as much as you wanted to, all you could do was let out broken moans as Xiumin brought you closer and closer to your peak. A peak you didn’t want to cross without being given permission to. 

Baek answered for you. “I think she wants to cum hyung. She’s practically vibrating against me.” He was enthralled with watching you fall apart on another man’s tongue, a sight he didn’t think he’d ever erase from his memory, but he wanted to keep things moving as he grew more and more desperate to be actively involved. “She’s done so well for us so far, and I can’t lie hyung. I think it’ll be really fucking hot to watch her cum all over your face.” 

Xiumin had to pause at Baekhyun’s brazenness. He’d expected the dirty talk to extend to you but was rapidly finding out that the filthy exchanges they were having were only turning him on more. “Well, when you put it like that, how could I resist?” He replied. He gave you no notice as he closed his mouth over your clit, taking it between his teeth and sucked hard, the pressure that had been building exploded as your orgasm slammed into you. The force of it knocked the air from you, a loud and desperate moan left your lips, your legs shook from the intensity of it. He massaged your legs, gently lapping at your pussy while you came down. Your body twitched with the residual aftershocks he continued to draw from you with every swipe of his tongue.

As you recovered from your intense high you felt the soft press of Baekhyun’s lips on your neck. You shivered at the sensation, coupled with Xiumin rubbing his hands over your thighs, up to your waist and back down in a soothing motion. Your breathing was still laboured as you opened your eyes only to find Xiumin staring up at you, his mouth and chin glistening with your juices as he stopped overstimulating you. His gaze was still intense as he watched Baekhyun continue to leave little butterfly kisses along your neck, causing your body to shiver with need. 

Your movement did not go unnoticed by Xiumin, who chuckled. “You still need more huh? Nearly passed out from your first orgasm but you already want more don’t you?” 

Baekhyun smirked against your neck. “Noona, so needy for us. Was hyungs mouth not enough to fully satisfy you? Do you need something to fill you up?” He brought his hands to your breasts and tweaked your nipples as he sucked another mark into your neck.

You cried out. “God, yes. Please.” There was no denying that the orgasm Xiumin had just coaxed from you was mind blowing. Despite that, you could feel your pussy clenching around nothing. You needed more, needed something inside you.

“All in good time, can’t have you being selfish and getting all the pleasure now can we?” Xiumin said. “I think it’s time you did something for us.” He continued, as he stood from the bed and pulled his shirt over his head, revealing his toned torso to you. “To show that you deserve what we can give you.” He crooked his fingers and beckoned you to come to him. You leant forward and crawled towards him, removing yourself from Baek’s reach. Behind you Baekhyun bit his bottom lip as he watched your naked form move away from him. 

You popped the button on his jeans and slowly unzipped his pants, his bulge tenting his underwear. He let out a soft grunt as you let your hand roam over his underwear. “Do not fucking tease me right now. You know better than that baby.” You smiled to yourself as memories flooded you, the times you had pushed his patience over the edge, of how roughly he took you, not letting you cum until you were a mess of tears, begging him for your release. But tonight, you were going to do as you were told, even though it was becoming evident that your bratty side wanted to play. You were doing your best to keep her in check. You pulled his pants and underwear down, letting them pool at his ankles, his cock slapped against his stomach as it was finally freed from the confines of his clothing, your mouth watered at the sight. You looked up at him and he raised a brow at you. “Why don’t you show our Baekhyun how well you suck cock?” You said. Heat flooded you at the thought of being watched while you had another man’s cock in your mouth. 

He lifted his head and made eye contact with the younger, very horny man behind you. “And Baek, be a good boy and strip. You’re only allowed to watch now, no touching yourself.” You heard Baekhyun whine behind you, the poor guy was needy. He’d been rutting his hips into your lower back and hands for friction just moments ago and now he had to sit and watch, and wasn’t even allowed to relieve some of the tension he was clearly feeling. 

“Do not make me wait noona.” Xiumin’s commanding tone brought you back to the present. He was hard, very hard. You didn’t want to tease but you also didn’t want to rush this so you slowly spread the precum over his cock, running your fingers up his shaft, around the head, and down again. Xiumin opened his mouth to scold you for teasing him but his words were replaced by a groan of pleasure as you wrapped your fingers around his length and started moving your hand up and down, varying the pressure as you pumped his cock. “Fuck,” He all but whispered. 

He was always so responsive to your touches, so much so that it only spurred you on. You wanted, no needed to taste him. Part of you also wanted to ruin Baekhyun by making him such a horny mess that he might just cum untouched from watching you and Xiumin. You licked the tip of his swollen cock before bringing your lips to it and sucking softly. Xiumin let out a gasp, his hips bucking involuntarily as you finally took him into your mouth. You moved slowly, relishing in the feel of him in your mouth, filling it up. You blinked your eyes slowly as you gazed up at him as your mouth enveloped his cock. A sheen of sweat covered his forehead as he stared back at you through heavily lidded eyes.

He praised with a rough voice, as his fingers gripped your hair. “That’s right, baby, just like that. You look so good with my cock stuffed in your mouth.” You didn’t break eye contact as you moved down his length, curling one hand around his base as you bobbed your head, taking more of him in each time you made your descent. You flattened your tongue against the underside of his cock and felt his hands hold your head in a vice grip as his resolve started to wane, a deep groan emitting from his throat. He let his head roll back, his breathing growing erratic as short pants mixed with small groans flow out of his mouth.

He held your head in place as he rolled his hips into you, fucking into your mouth. His first strokes were slow and languid, letting you get used to the fullness in you, but he soon began pushing further and further. His cock started hitting the back of your throat, and on one deep thrust he had your nose pressed up against him as he bottomed out. He held it there for a few seconds. “Fucking hell. Look at you, taking me all the way. You love this don’t you? Choking on my cock in front of another man.” You shivered, as you felt your arousal leak from you. You hadn’t expected to be this turned on from just sucking his cock but you felt light you were on fire with need. You wanted to be used by them so thoroughly that you couldn’t move at the end of the night. 

You let yourself relax around him, trusting yourself in his hands, after all Xiumin had never once hurt you. He’d been the one you’d played the roughest with but he’d always taken care of you. When he felt you relax he began thrusting again, this time his strokes were getting faster, but still just as deep. “Love fucking your face noona, you, shit, you feel so good.” You struggled to hold yourself up as he used you, his hand in your hair the only anchor holding you up as you became a puppet for his use.

You knew he was approaching his climax when he began to move with less concern for the wellbeing of your throat, gagging you with his cock every few thrusts. You did your best to keep your jaw slack, as your throat was being rubbed raw, drool and precum fell down your chin in streams. “So messy, fuck, look at you. I’m almost there baby, you can take a bit more.” You moved your spare hand to massage his balls, rolling them in your palm as he thrusted into your mouth. Your action makes him groan louder than before, needier too. Your thighs clenched together, desperate in your need for friction. But you were being good, you didn’t touch or move. You choked a few times, tears falling down your cheeks to mix with the other fluids on your chin as he came. “Such a good girl for me, took me so well, let me use you to get off.” He stroked your face gently, wiping the tears away as he smiled down at you. “Wasn’t she such a good girl Baek?” He asked.

“Fuck, yes hyung, she was.” Baekhyun’s reply was strained with desire. 

“Did you touch yourself Baek?” He asked bluntly. You turned to look at him and felt a jolt through your core at just how wrecked he looked. He was breathing heavily, his chest flushed as his hands had a death grip on the sheets to stop him from touching himself. He looked so painfully hard, his rigid cock practically weeping with pre cum, twitching with need, it was so messy, and you knew how he loved it messy.

Baekhyun shook his head. “N-no. Fuck if you could see how much wetter she got from you throat fucking her hyung, my god. Please, let her touch me or let me touch myself I’m fucking dying over here.” You felt heat wash over you as you clenched around nothing. You should have felt some type of shame about how lewdly they were talking about you but you didn’t. You trusted these two men with your entire being and knew that they would never speak ill of you. Plus you were a little too fucked out to care.

Xiumin caught you staring at Baekhyun and smiled. “Baby, why don’t you treat him to your filthy mouth?” He gave you a little push to set you in motion as you crawled between Baekhyun’s legs. “Holy fuck, you weren’t wrong Baek. She is so fucking wet.” You turned your head to look back at Xiumin, who was now kneeling on the bed as he stared between your legs. His eyes flicked up to yours understanding what you wanted. “If you’re good I’ll give you what you want.” He gave your ass a light tap to direct your attention back to Baek.

“Please don’t tease me noona.” Baekhyun whimpered as you slowly grasped his length in your hand.

“You don’t want me to take my time with you?” You asked playfully. Baekhyun was always putty in your hands when it came to having his cock in your mouth. He got too eager, enjoyed it too much and never lasted that long. You guessed tonight would be no different especially since he’d had to watch you and not relieve himself while doing so. 

“Fuck. No. I’m just too fucking horny to endure it.” You heard the need in his voice, the normally even tone pitching up slightly as he tried to hold himself together. “I’m doing my best to not grab your head and shove my cock in your mouth right now. Watching you with hyung, holy fuck it was so hot, I don’t know if I’m going to last very long after watching him rail your throat.” He panted.

“I’ll make you feel good Baek, I promise.” You said. He let his head fall back against the headboard as you took the head of his cock into your mouth and sucked gently. He moaned loudly at finally being touched, his eyes wide with pleasure.

“Hyung, can - fuck - can I touch her?” He sounded so broken as he tried to speak, his breath hitching every time you moved your tongue around his swollen head.

You felt Xiumin shift on the bed until he was kneeling behind you. He rubbed his hand down your spine as you took Baekhyun into your mouth once more. “You may.” Baekhyun gripped your hair as he watched his cock disappear into your mouth. You shuddered when you felt Xiumin’s fingers drag through your slick folds. “Noona, you are so fucking wet. Does it turn you on this much to be with two men?” 

You lifted your head from Baekhyun’s cock, much to his disdain. “Yes, fuck” you rasped, your throat raw from the abuse Xiumin had inflicted upon it. “Sir, please touch me.” 

“Why should I?” He teased as one finger circled your clit.

You moaned loudly. “I’ve been so good.” 

“Do you want your noona to suck your cock Baekhyun?” Xiumin said as you lowered yourself back towards his cock. You stared into his fucked out eyes and waited for him to respond. He nodded and you shifted down, placing a kitten lick to the tip of his leaking cock, causing him to whimper at the feeling. You don’t break eye contact with him as Xiumin spoke again. “You want your noona to suck your thick cock and make you fall apart while your hyung stuffs noona with his fingers?”

Baekhyun’s eyes almost rolled in the back of his head as Xiumin spoke, his hips bucking up towards you with need. “Jesusfuckingchrist hyung, holy shit, yes. Yes I want that. Please.”

Xiumin waited for you to take Baekhyun back into your mouth before he plunged two fingers into your aching pussy. You moaned around Baekhyun’s cock at the feeling, finally being touched and having your mouth filled at the same time. You swirled your tongue on the underside of his cock as you took more of him in, finding your rhythm so you could rock back onto Xiumin’s fingers and forward onto Baekhyun’s cock. 

You ran your nails down his thighs as you let your jaw relax, allowing Baekhyun to begin thrusting up into it. “Holy shit this is hot, you should see yourself noona, gonna make you choke on my cock while hyung makes you cum on his fingers.”

“You liked that didn’t you?” Xiumin remarked. “I felt you clench around me, you needy little thing. If you want to cum then you’d better hold still and let us use you.” Your eyes widened as you clenched around his fingers again.

Baekhyun began to fuck your throat as you held yourself in position, your hands gripping his thighs. You moaned around his cock as you felt Xiumin's hand match the pace Baekhyun was setting. They were both entering you at the same time, you’d never felt so full. The pressure was building within you at an alarming pace and you knew you’d snap if they kept up this momentum. Baekhyun’s moans became higher pitched and more frequent as he started to really enjoy the feeling of your throat sucking him in every time he fucked into it. The vibrations from your moans were only adding to the pleasure he was feeling. “Fuck, I’m close.” He panted.

Xiumin removed his fingers from you. You whined at the loss only to let out a strangled cry as he began to vigorously circle and tap your clit. “Then cum. Both of you.” Both of you came undone at his words, your orgasm slamming into you as Baekhyun thrusted once more and held himself in your throat as he came while you writhed against Xiumin’s relentless fingers, tears streaming down your face at the combination of choking on Baekhyun’s cock and being overstimulated by Xiumin. 

You pulled off Baekhyun as you tried to get away from Xiumin’s relentless fingers. “Xiu please, I need a minute. Too sensitive.” You whined. He acquiesced and released you from his wandering hands. 

Baekhyun was immobile, his chest heaving as he recovered from his own high. He somehow looked even more fucked out than he had before. “Holy shit.” He said to himself. 

Xiumin pulled him from his daze by telling him to move to the chair at the end of the bed and watch. Baekhyun stood on slightly wobbly legs, walked over and threw himself down on the comfy chair facing the bed, leant back and got as comfortable as a naked man could in a hotel chair, as his eyes roamed over the bed as they sought you out. “I know this is your reward hyung but I feel like we’re all reaping this reward.” He grinned. 

He had a moment where the facade cracked and you saw the excitement in Xiumin’s eyes as he took a beat to take in that he was actually experiencing one of his largest fantasies right now. Not only that, but it was going well. He only let that slip last for a second before he was back, moving to sit in the position Baekhyun had been in on the bed. You stared at him as you waited for him to tell you where he wanted you. He was lazily stroking his hard length as he let his eyes roam over your body. “Come here noona.” You made your way over to him, and climbed onto his lap.

“Are you enjoying your reward Xiu?” You asked softly as you wrapped your arms around his neck. 

He let his forehead fall forward and press against yours. “It is everything I imagined and more. Thank you for helping make it happen.” He smiled genuinely at you, that beautiful gummy smile that you adored, before he kissed you. He let his hands run over your shoulders, ghosting past your breasts, running down the sides of your waist so gently it made you shiver, before coming to rest on your hips, kneading the skin there as he deepened the kiss. He sighed into you, pressing his lips down harder, hungrier. You gasped into his mouth as he pulled your hips against his cock. “Turn around. Want you to ride me while facing him. Make him watch you fuck yourself on my cock. You’ll ruin him, and I’ll get to watch your ass bounce on my cock so we both win.” Xiumin gave you another one of his annoying little smirks. 

You gave him one more heat filled kiss before you turned in his lap. Baekhyun’s eyes widened as he figured out what was happening, his hands gripping his thighs in anticipation. You didn’t have much time to focus on the look on his face because Xiumin suddenly dipped his finger into your sopping entrance, using your juices to coat his cock. You let out a shaky moan as he moved you into position and waited for you to begin. He let you know you were taking too long by delivering a swift smack to you ass, which caught you by surprise as you cried out.

Slowly you lifted yourself up, aligned his cock with your core and sunk down to the hilt. You both moaned out at the feeling of your wet, hot walls moulding around him and pulling him in. You stayed like that for a second, head thrown back and nails digging into his thighs as you got used to the stretch. “Fuuuuck, that’s hot.” You heard Baekhyun groan. You locked eyes with him as you started to move, setting a steady pace to begin with as you relished in the feel of Xiumin’s cock hitting you in all the right places from this angle. Xiumin’s hands rubbed up and down your sides as he helped guide you up and down on his length. He threw his head back in pleasure at how deep you were taking him.

Baekhyun couldn’t help himself any more as he was hard again. The sight of you bouncing on Xiumin’s cock, your tits bouncing, the sounds you were making, all of it was too much. He wrapped his fingers around himself and squeezed hard. He bit back a moan, as his head tipped back as the relief of his own touch spread through his body and pre cum leaked from his tip. You moaned at the sight of him touching himself as you fucked yourself on Xiumin’s cock, quickening your pace. You heard Xiumin moaning and cursing behind you as your pace became increasingly desperate. 

“Hyung,” Baekhyun’s voice was strained with need.

“Wh-fuck, what?” He grunted.

“How does she feel?”

“She feels amazing, fucking herself on me so good.” He moaned as you changed the angle of your pelvis, desperate to feel him hit that specific spot inside you. “Our baby is desperate to get off aren’t you?”

“I can’t, Xiu-” You cried out. 

“Baek, get up and kneel in front of her.” He said as he pushed you off his cock, moving you onto all fours. “Baby, think you can take both of us at the same time? One fucking this pretty pussy and one using that skilled mouth of yours?”

You whimpered at his question, too overwhelmed with the prospect of being filled so wonderfully by them that you forgot to answer. “All you need to do is say yes, baby.” He said. “But I will not do anything until you tell me how much you want it.” He slowly dragged his cock through your folds.

“Yes, oh god, yes, please sir, I need it.” When he didn’t move a muscle you tried again. “Xiumin, please.”  

“Sorry baby, I was just savouring my fantasy. Trust me, we want nothing more than to give you exactly what you need.” He entered you in one thrust, bottoming out with a grunt. Your hands grasped onto Baekhyun’’s arm for dear life as your body went rigid. A loud moan and gasp left your lips and when Baekhyun grabbed your jaw and brought his cock to your lips an honest to god whine came out. You were completely lost to their ministrations, theirs to use as they saw fit. As long as you came you didn’t care what they did. Baekhyun pressed his length into your mouth and began to thrust into your mouth at the same pace that Xiumin pounded into you from behind. You had never felt so full in your life.

"Look so good with our cocks inside you, noona," Baekhyun praised, his voice huskier than you’d ever heard it before, which made you clench around Xiumin, who let out a loud moan.

"Fuck, yeah," he breathed, as he snapped his hips into you even harder, working himself in and out of your pussy. "Keep talking to her like that, Baek," he grunted the younger man, "Her sweet little pussy's tightening up so fucking perfectly."

"You like when I talk dirty to you don’t you noona?" He teased as he fisted your hair into a makeshift ponytail as he matched Xiumin’s new pace. “Noona is just greedy and cock-hungry for us aren’t you? You like having hyung and I inside those needy holes of yours don’t you?" You could barely think straight as one cock entered you the other pulled back, alternating their thrusts to ensure there was never not a cock filling you.

You moaned in agreement around his cock as you let them stuff you full, telling you exactly how you felt around them and how good you’re being for them. Xiumin’s cock brushed against that spot inside you that made you cry out in pleasure, the sound muffled by Baekhyun’s cock filling your mouth. Your thighs shook as Xiumin brought you to another climax. You felt Baekhyun pull out of your mouth as he watched you fall apart on Xiumin’s cock. He kept thrusting into you as he chased his own high, his pace somehow becoming harder and faster. “Fuck noona, you’re sucking me back in. Your tight pussy is taking me so well. FUCK.” He snapped his hips into you at a brutal pace, his hands gripped your hips hard enough to leave bruises.

“You’re gonna let Baek fuck you as soon as I’m done with you. He’s been so patient, waiting to fucking ruin you on his cock.” He groaned as his pace grew erratic, a clear sign that he was going to cum soon.

“Yes Xiu, I’ll let him fuck me. He can fuck your cum back into me.” You moaned, the overstimulation beginning to turn into pleasure once more. “Please Xiu, want you to cum inside, want you to fill me up.” He growled as he thrusted into you once more as he came inside you. He held himself in you as he panted, trying to catch his breath and come back down from his dizzying high.

“Baek, your turn.” He said as he pulled out of you and flipped you on your back. His hair was stuck to his face from the exertion of fucking you. He looked spent as he moved to your side and leant down to kiss you passionately. “You look so fucking hot noona, being so good for us.” He whispered in between kisses.

Baekhyun moved so that he was between your legs and groaned at the sight before him. “Oh baby, you have no idea how much I want to wreck you now.” His first thrust was deep and slow, moving with purpose as he enjoyed the feel of being inside you. “You look so filthy with hyung’s cum dripping out of you. You wanted me to fuck it back into you?” The next thrust had more force behind it and you felt him. Your head fell back as he fucked you, his grunts and moans increasing in volume. 

His hair stuck to his forehead from the exertion, his eyes alternating their focus from your face to watching his cock disappear into your pussy. He leant forward, effectively folding you in half as he sped up, his thrusts becoming more erratic. “Fuck, how are you this hot? I am not going to last long baby.”

“Shit, me either Baek.” You moaned as Xiumin moved from kissing your lips to your neck, down your chest until his mouth attached to your nipple. He used his hands to massage your breasts as his tongue laved at your nipples. He watched you intently as you cried out for them both to keep touching and fucking you. “Oh fuck, I’m gonna, Baek, I’m gonna cum.”

Baekhyun picked up his pace, slamming into you with vigour as you clamped down on his cock, milking him for all he was worth, your final orgasm of the night hitting you so hard that you almost blacked out. You felt utterly spent, in the best way, but you could do very little as the two men praised you, Baekhyun carrying you to the bathroom to clean you both up while Xiumin went to his room to steal the sheets from the bed. It didn’t matter how spent he was, he’d rather die before sleeping on cum stained sheets. When they’d finished cleaning you up all three of you fell into your bed together, a tangled mess of limbs. You had one man on either side of you. The two that had started this whole thing. 

“Well that was better than my drunk texts.” You murmured. Both men burst into laughter on either side of you. 

Silence settled over the room again as you all began to give in to the call of sleep, comfy, clean and warm. Baekhyun hummed. “I wish you’d had that cheerleader outfit with you.”

“Shut the fuck up.” You replied with a laugh.

“No, he’s onto something there.” Minseok reasoned as he giggled. “That outfit was really hot. Do you still own it?”

You couldn’t help but laugh at them, even though you wanted to sound pissed off. “I hate both of you, and if my legs worked I’d get up and leave this room right now.”

“Hyung high five, we broke her.” Baekhyun continued laughing.

“Shut up!” Both you and Minseok yelled happily.

You let your laughs die down as you snuggled into each other, exhausted both physically and mentally. You realised now that all the rewards had been completed. You’d think on what that meant moving forward later. Right now you just wanted to pass out, and maybe wake up to some continued fun, but you’d understand if Minseok considered the threesome request completed now.

Minseok chose that moment to speak up. “Thank you both for this. It’s uh, it’s weird to thank you for it but you know, it feels necessary. But I’m glad it was the two of you.” Minseok was doing his best to stay awake long enough to thank you both, something he really didn't need to do.

“Talk later, sleep now.” You mumbled as you felt yourself succumb to post coital exhaustion.

A/N: Um so yeah, that happened. Did the smut get away from me? Yes. Are we ok? Can I hand out fans and refreshments to any of you? Real talk, thank you for reading and sticking with me over the insanely long time it's taken to write this fic. I'd love to hear who you want her to end up with, I've got 3 endings penned and I'm still picking which one feels right so your feedback would help :)

Masterpost | Chapter 46 | Chapter 48 (coming soon)

[tomorrowxtogether]

TAEHYUN: “TOMORROW X TOGETHER is youth itself”

TOMORROW X TOGETHER The Name Chapter: FREEFALL comeback interview

2023.10.25

Everything TAEHYUN says eventually circles back to one thing: music. It’s not just what he invests his heart and soul into, but also his primary medium for expressing love, as well as the driving force propelling him forward.

You tried keeping a journal and reading more books earlier this year.

TAEHYUN: That no longer applies though. (laughs) I got busy with work. It felt like a great year, being on tour and everything, but it came with some pressure. I know it’s not possible for someone to be able to give me all the answers to life, but I bought some books anyway, thinking they might at least provide some tips. I guess I’d still be reading if they had any really amazing ones … (laughs) I kept a diary for around one or two months. I usually share my thoughts and feelings to the other members, my friends, and sometimes staff members more than my family. At one point I was struggling emotionally, and I was telling someone on staff about it, but they just went into work mode. (laughs) They told me, “You can get it all out later in lyrical form. It’d be good to sort through it.” So I ended up keeping that diary half because of that and half because I was using my phone too much during the tour.

What sort of things did you write in your diary? Some people simply write down the things that happened that day and some  talk about their feelings and emotions.

TAEHYUN: I mostly write down my thoughts and feelings. Shocking, right? That’s what I usually go for. Then I started to have doubts when every day started to feel the same. I asked the person who recommended that I keep a diary and  they said, “You write the same thing, but each day you feel a little different. You should work through that.” My number one priority is how something makes me think or feel, then I can explain what actually happened. Later on, I can look back and see how I was feeling at the time.

Are you trying anything else new lately?

TAEHYUN: I’m actually laying off things one by one. I’m even taking a little break from exercising and just concentrating on doing what I have to do. I feel like taking a short break here and there means I have more physical and mental capacity when I have to concentrate on my work.

What do you do when you have a little bit of downtime?

TAEHYUN: I had about three days off and I just got back from a trip to Gangwon Province with some friends. I was so happy that it made me worried for the future. I find it stress-relieving to talk about light-hearted, random things and to just say whatever comes to mind without thinking too hard. (laughs)

Considering how good you are at everything, what kind of things make you nervous?

TAEHYUN: Well, just showing up to the MTV Video Music Awards means having to be totally focused as soon as someone points a microphone at you. (laughs) People ask us questions we’re not expecting on the red carpet, and Kai and I were more nervous for that than our performance. For Lollapalooza Chicago also, we were super focused since we had to pull off various media promotions at the same time.

But then you have to fully immerse yourself in the performance that follows, right? Like in songs such as “Thursday’s Child Has Far To Go” where you have to be full of energy.

TAEHYUN: I just get totally swept up in it all. (laughs) The thing I was so thankful for at Lollapalooza is that the audience was absolute perfection. They were more excited for “Blue Spring” than we expected, so we really were working together with them to make that performance what it was. It’s not like I try to get to that place on stage—it just happens. When I’m up there, I get full of main character energy. (laughs) For a song like “Thursday’s Child Has Far To Go,” it’s not like anyone tells me to do that—I just get so into it that I end up doing things like spraying my water bottle around. There’s no other experience like it. Nine times out of 10, I perform just like I planned, but for songs like that, it’s completely different from how I rehearse it. If the audience reacts well when I go wild, I think, Do I really have to stick to the plan, or can I do whatever I want? (laughs) But I still make sure not to cross a line.

With all that in mind, how did you feel about the carefully planned-out performance of “Back for More (with Anitta)” at the VMAs?

TAEHYUN: I think it was a bold move since that live performance was the first time anyone had heard the song. I wasn’t nervous on the actual day, but I was while practicing. After BEOMGYU does the intro, I have to sing “When I’m with you,” and I was repeating the words, “When I’m,” inside my head, like, 20 times. (laughs) What I wanted was for the audience to be reminded of Michael Jackson. The intonation was similar, and I even ad-libbed in a similar way, and I was hoping the dance moves would remind people of him, too.

What is it about Michael Jackson that you think’s so alluring?

TAEHYUN: When people talk about Michael Jackson, they usually talk about how he dances, but for me, it’s all about his vocals. I think every song he sang in, from his days with the Jackson 5 right until his last release, all show an unbelievable amount of skill. So I thought over how I could sound equally enticing. I was focused on being energetic while still getting the intonation just right.

I feel like you would have had to use a variety of different vocal styles for the songs off your latest album. Some of the songs are more straightforward, American-style pop, but others have a subtle, more nuanced feeling.

TAEHYUN: I felt like it went the smoothest of all our albums, at least as far as recording the vocals was concerned. Not only are we a lot better, but we’ve also worked with our producers a lot, so it’s a lot faster now. I fully interpreted the songs first, but my vocals were kind of lagging behind what I had envisioned. (laughs) It was frustrating because I couldn’t sing what I was imagining, but eventually my vocals caught up, making things easier for sure. I gave a lot of thought about my vocals and came up with two requirements. One is to practice finding what I call healthy vocals. We have a set list of over 20 songs that we do dozens of times, and if I want to be in the same good condition to perform it, finding healthier vocals is going to be better in the long run, I think. And now that I’m getting better at conveying the same kind of nuances live that I’m able to do while recording, I want to perfect it.

How is it you’re always able to make those kinds of judgment calls and keep on improving?

TAEHYUN: First I think about what I’m not good at, then what I am good at. I work on what I’m not good at, and when I feel tired out, I practice what I am good at. That’s how I do it. I think I have to acknowledge things first to overcome them and improve. And I think I know better than anyone else exactly what I’m not good at. I feel like anyone would have a way better chance of improvement if they don’t try to fool themselves. It’s similar to what we’re saying on “Chasing That Feeling,” I think.

Like “Chasing That Feeling,” you’re facing things head-on rather than avoiding them.

TAEHYUN: People all say, “if you can’t avoid it, enjoy it,” but I’m not like that. (laughs) I’m more like, “if you can’t enjoy it, just grin and bear it.” So I think I was able to relate to the song. You know, there’s lots of times when you know what you want to do but you just can’t get your body to move. I think that’s the “feeling” the song is talking about that you might feel but when you still have to work toward the things you have to do.

The message, music, and choreography of the single are a little different from what you’ve done before. How did you go about interpreting that?

TAEHYUN: I couldn’t actually picture the choreography after I heard the song, but I feel like the dance gave the song its persuasion and emotion. There’s parts where we run, chase after something, reach out, and act like we’re in pain. We got the choreography, practiced it, reviewed the video, and I think that helped me understand the intended direction better. The album’s about coming down to Earth, so naturally it was always going to be a little harsher and more challenging, but it’s still about moving forward. I feel like the single really encapsulates the story of the whole album. It was amazing because it felt like it could apply to people from all walks of life.

Are there any songs off the album that you really related to?

TAEHYUN: I’m not sure if this counts as relating, but, as you know, we have a complex backstory now. There’s some lyrics that really capture how we got to where we are today in “Happily Ever After”: “Oh my God / The ending is unknown / Life is not a fairy tale.” Up until now, we’ve been more like a fairy tale, and I like how it’s about the past, present, and future all in one song—like, Now that I’ve come down to the real world, I know life’s not a fairy tale, but it’s still a beautiful thing because I can’t see an inch in front of my face and there’s no saying what I’ll find at the end. That’s where I’m headed.

Speaking of which, where do you feel TOMORROW X TOGETHER is at right now?

TAEHYUN: I’d say this latest album is a major turning point. Sure, we’ve always been relatable, but I feel like we’ve never handled those topics in a realistic way. Now it’s all about coming down to Earth. I think we’ll get more comfortable with the process of taking the things we need to and will say and putting them into lyrics. It feels like my life story and what TOMORROW X TOGETHER sings about will overlap more and more as time goes on.

What direction do you ultimately hope to pursue in music?

TAEHYUN: I’m not set in stone on that yet.. (laughs) I’ve always liked a lot of different kinds of music, but lately I’m trying to listen to music that’s touching and easy on the ears. I mostly listen to songs that have good vocals and lyrics—especially those with compelling lyrics.

For example?

TAEHYUN: Off the top of my head? “Good News” off Mac Miller’s album Circles. I was inspired by and found a lot of comfort in that song and the whole album when I was having a hard time. So I gave YEONJUN a copy of it on vinyl for his birthday this year. I still feel melancholy whenever I listen to “Good News.” I have a T in my MBTI, but it makes me feel like my powers of empathy just skyrocket. (laughs) “So tired of being so tired”—I love those lyrics.

Sometimes music is a source of stress for you, but music is also what helps you get rid of your stress.

TAEHYUN: Isn’t it ironic? But music itself doesn’t really give me much stress, actually. I feel like the sweat and tears that go into the process of making music and choreography makes me feel alive. Yes, I can get stressed out from other things, but music takes care of that.

When you look way down to the end of the road you’re on, what do you see?

TAEHYUN: Hopefully the quality of my work will go up over time to the point that I’m at a level where I can move people after just a second with me. Lots of things can move a person, but for me, I’m especially moved when I witness great art. I was moved when I saw Jung Kook’s choreography video for the song “3D” recently. He’s got an aura all his own. He’s the GOAT, hands down. (laughs) Every move he makes across every bar of the song just oozes cool and nuance. It’s like, What did I just watch? What am I listening to? I had to watch it again. I think that’s what it means to be moving.

Everything you say circles back to music. I know you have goals as a group, but do you have any personal dreams of your own?

TAEHYUN: I’m happy when it shows how much effort I put into something, even if only slightly. And those are the dreams I can make come true fairly soon. Anyway, they’re all related to work. (laughs) I think that’s what keeps me moving forward. If I practice without being asked sometimes and suddenly I can pull off things I had trouble with before, then later doing things that someone tells me to do becomes more enjoyable, too.

What’s your take on the pressure you feel when you’re doing that and you come up against something difficult?

TAEHYUN: I just deal with it. I always use the expression “get it done” because it feels more like I’m achieving something. Just saying I’m “doing it” makes me feel like I’m being told to do it and there’s no sense of accomplishment there. (laughs) So I try to focus on the concept of getting things done when I’m asked. I think all the other members feel similarly. We all say, “We got it done.” (laughs) When someone says, “This is hard” then I get comforted when someone says “Yes, it is supposed to be hard,” or “It is hard and I’m having trouble too.”

Sometimes I can tell how much you value the other members for working and weathering together.

TAEHYUN: I think people can tell that I’m kind to people I really care about. (laughs) There’s MOA, of course. And the other members, and the people on staff, and that’s pretty much it. Some people who have worked with me and got to know the real me might see me and think, He’s trying his hardest. (laughs)I always try my best to be sweet, warm, and friendly.

You also purposely go out as far out as you can on the stage for the fans, and you remember dates for things like concert ticket raffles.

TAEHYUN: I find it harder to put things into words, but I’m usually okay at showing them, so that explains why I use actions instead of words. I always try to be attentive and caring. I also try to put my ideas into words like, Well, what if we tried doing it a little more like this?

It seems like the way you pour yourself into your work is your own kind of love language. You showed your thanks for MOA by borrowing the title of an article, “Musical perseverance pays off,” when giving your speech after a number one during your previous promotional period. What are you hoping to convey to MOA through the music on your new album?

TAEHYUN: Whenever we release an album, I hope that lots of people are able to relate to it. The new album tries to empathize with things that don’t get talked about much, so it should fill people with strength. I hope it does, anyway. I hope people can find some consolation in the lyrics. Because it’s not really things they would talk with other people about. (laughs) What I mean is, we don’t tend to talk to people about getting around to acknowledging and accepting things. I know I need to get this done fast, but I’m really deceiving myself and others about it. The music recognizes that process. At the same time, it says we’ve been there before too, so just chase that feeling. I hope it helps people out in some small way.

It sounds like this album really has the power to console.

TAEHYUN: Indeed.Because TOMORROW X TOGETHER is youth itself. That’s why we’re conveying such stories.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Part two!

➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰(I’m LOVING this! I have such theories i can’t wait to see if i’m right! And once again you’re a master of using your line breaks to enhance a story - it’s so meta i love it!)

☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️(whodunit? I don’t know! I’m so excited to find out! Really loving athena’s pov especially for this story it’s so fun!)

🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷(CAL YOURE DOING BTHB?!?!??!!! HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO SURVIVE THAT?????!!!!! It seems like you’re maybe starting us off light but i can never be sure with you… you’re an angst master and i cant wait to read all your stories!)

I hope you know that reading your snippets is genuinely one of the highlights of my day! Your work makes me so happy thank you for sharing!

- PCA <3

HI PCA!

THANK YOU AGAIN FOR BEING THE LOVELIEST PERSON EVER???

60 for ➰ (Hope you enjoyed the first chapter! And thanks! i have so much fun with the line breaks)

Tagging @steadfastsaturnsrings

---

“Not the exact same,” Eddie explains nervously. “It’s like some things matter, and others don’t. I don’t know about today, though. Maybe we have, yeah.”

Buck thinks nervously about the prospect that one of them might die horribly at any moment. 

“Okay, which things matter?” Buck asks. 

“The restaurant. We have to go to the restaurant,” Eddie explains. 

“Okay,” Buck nods. “Right at the same time.”

“Yep,” Eddie confirms. “And we have to go kayaking. You have to hit your head.”

“What?” Buck complains. “Why? Come on!”

“I didn’t choose it, Buck!” Eddie practically whines. “Just, every time you don’t, something worse happens. Without fail. We don’t have to eat breakfast on the patio. We can go to the beach or the pool. But if we don’t go kayaking, and you don’t hit your head, and we avoid the restaurant, it’s worse for… For one of us.”

Which doesn’t just mean Buck. It could mean Eddie or Chris, too. Damn it.

“Alright, alright,” Buck sighs. “But we could run through a drive-thru this morning? We could wake up and stay in bed longer next time?”

Eddie nods. 

“Okay,” Buck exhales. “Okay, this helps.”

“Please don’t say anything to Chris,” Eddie begs. “Especially about dying. I know he’ll just forget, but…”

“You don’t want to freak him out,” Buck fills in. 

Eddie nods again. “I just want him - and you - to be as happy as possible. Okay?”

Buck tries to avoid narrowing his eyes in concern. Eddie has been the sole lucid person in this experience for a while. He’s whittled it down to a formula. A neatly rehearsed show that he stages every twelve hours, with no end in sight. Buck has thrown that off. Like, significantly. He gets why Eddie is nervous. 

“Don’t worry,” Buck promises, squeezing his hand. “I’m gonna follow your lead, okay? You know how this all works.”

Eddie sighs, relieved. “Thank you.”

“Having me aware will be good,” Buck tells him. “Right? You’re not alone now.”

Eddie scratches his head. “I… I had you before, too. I wasn’t alone.”

---

36 for ☠️ (THANK YOU! I am so happy you're interested. I was nervous to write this one):

---

“Alright,” Athena says. “Well… Let’s say a crime was committed.”

“How bad of a crime?” Bobby asks.

See, this is where they differ. Bobby thinks in terms like that. Athena mostly just sees the law. She does need his perspective right now. 

“Among the worst sort,” Athena says. 

“Okay,” Bobby nods. “Got it.”

“It’s hard to feel bad for the person who was hurt by this crime,” Athena continues. “They aren’t a great person. But that doesn’t matter, right?”

“It shouldn’t,” Bobby agrees. He already knows this is how she feels. Opinions towards the victim or perpetrator isn’t the point of the law. At least, not usually.

“Except, without knowing the specifics, and I don’t…” Athena sighs. “What if the alleged criminals, in this specific scenario, had a really good reason for what they did? A reason you trust?”

Bobby is silent for a long moment. So long, in fact, that Athena begins to worry. 

“This really doesn’t sound like you,” he eventually says. 

“I know,” she admits. 

“So the question here, really, is, do you do your job?” Bobby asks. “Or do you follow your gut?”

“I guess it is.”

“And those two things are usually harmonious,” he continues.

She nods. “Right.”

“Hmm,” Bobby considers. “Athena, I think… I think you need to think about what feels best to you. What can you live with?”

---

30 for 🦷: (I AM! I've been having fun with Gotcha For Gaza prompts, so I thought I'd take a few more prompt like things to inspire me).

---

Not even two minutes later, Christopher is sitting on a chair in the kitchen, mouth open, while Eddie shines a little light to illuminate its dark interior. The gums around his back molars on all sides are red and inflamed. Angry. It soon becomes clear why. Eddie can see the beginnings of four impacted wisdom teeth trying to poke through, pressing up against his gums and his other molars. 

“Oh, buddy,” Eddie sighs.

“What?” Chris asks, words muffled by the set of his extended jaw. “What’s wrong with me?”

“Your wisdom teeth are trying to come through,” Eddie says. He steps back from Chris and turns off the light. “But they’re impacted. Which just means they’re growing in against your other teeth and causing a lot of pain.”

“Oh,” Chris says. “What do I do?”

I, not we. Like he has to solve his problems himself now. He didn’t talk like that before this summer. 

“Well, you’ll probably need a surgery to remove them,” Eddie says. 

Christopher’s face twists with apprehension.

“It’s a little surgery,” Eddie assures him. “Nothing scary like you had in the past. Lots of people have to have it.”

Buck could probably rhyme off the exact percentage of people who need it.

To his surprise, Christopher starts to cry. His face goes even redder.

“Aren’t I too young for that?” He blubbers.”I-I don’t want it!”

“Hey, Chris, it’s okay,” Eddie says soothingly. He reaches out to lay a hand on his son’s shoulder.