#i didn’t cry this time but everything is not daijoubu

[vampcubus]

watched the new aot ep and i am in shambles

[stariikis]

maybe i lost myself (i don't think i'm okay...)

desc ; inspired by jake's cover song, 'i don't think i'm okay', i wrote this drabble about jake comforting you when all hope is lost.

pairing ; idol!simjaeyun x fem!reader genre ; hurt/comfort, fluff, established rs wc ; 571 warnings ; written in lapslock! probably pretty depressive but at least jake's here for you?

“i don’t think i’m okay…”

you press your nose against the window, raindrops trickling down the other side as you do so. like a curious, wide-eyed puppy, jake scoots up to you on the bed and joins you to look down at the bustling streets of seoul. he’s been so busy the past few days, with their upcoming albums and being ambassadors for so many companies. he’s tried to call you for nights, but when you didn’t pick up, he took it upon himself to visit you at your loft apartment. 

your apartment a complete mess of unfolded, crumpled clothes, textbooks, worksheets.. when you opened the door and saw jake, you weren’t surprised, but he was. he gasped and pulled you into his arms. he didn’t care about your disheveled appearance. he didn’t care that your hands were trembling from forcing yourself to stay awake. he took them in his and squeezed them so hard you swore they were going to break off. 

with tired eyes, you invited him in without a word said. you figured he didn’t need words. 

and he really didn’t. 

when he finally coaxed an explanation out of you, a reason as to why you wouldn’t answer his calls, you couldn’t bear the awkwardness and turned towards the window that stretched all the way from one edge of the wall to the next. it was raining, soft rumbles of thunder rolling around as you and jake spoke in the dim light of your lamp.

you sweep translucent curtains to the side, praying the scenery provides you some respite. any form of peace, to get away from the craziness you’ve been dipping your toes in recently. the hustle and bustle of life that never seems to end, no matter how many tears you shed, hairs you pull out, and all-nighters you pull. it never seems to get better, and you’re losing yourself. 

a blurry image of yourself flits into view as jake gently pulls away from the window, and you look down. onto the rumpled covers of your bed, unwashed and unclean because how could you ever have the time to do house chores? you don’t even have time to touch up on your personal hygiene, evident in the reflection you can’t bear to look at. 

“i don’t think you’re okay…” 

“it’s going too fast. everything is.” 

sweetly, jake pulls you into an embrace that dulls your sense of hearing. his words fade into an oddly calming hum in your ears. your mind starts to whisper again, a spark of inspiration ignited from his mere presence. 

“gwaenchanhayo. daijoubu. you’re okay.” 

for the first time, you just don’t have the energy to cry. you just fall into jake’s arms and let him pluck away your worries one by one. he’s the only one who gets to see this side of you, vulnerable and broken. you don’t want anybody to see you like this but him. 

jake, who knows exactly what you’re going through because he’s experienced just the same. jake, who only needs to be around for a moment for you to feel worlds better than you used to. jake, who would follow your head into the clouds, would follow you even if you’re floating off to space. he doesn’t let go, and it feels like he never will. for a second, you wish he never would. 

“you’re not okay.” 

he pauses to kiss your cheek. 

“and that’s okay.”

[mugi-chan]

❞ Meeting the Fam: Octavinelle❝

ლ  Content: Meeting the Octavinelle members family!

ლ  Warnings: None!

ლ Comments: Meeting people are just scary in general ..・ヾ(。＞＜)シ 

He was very hesitant on bringing you back to his home in general 

So much has changed in just the past two years for him 

he’s stressed about all the questions he may be asked by his parents 

Especially you 

He never told them that he got a significant other 

But you convinced him to introduce you to his parents 

He told them beforehand that he had a significant other and wants to bring them home 

He didn’t give much details he just said he had a significant other and that's it 

His parents wanted to meet you at their restaurant, why would you say no to that! 

You didn’t have any anxious thoughts right before you two enter the restaurant 

Azul was still in his human form as he wasn’t ready to show you his octopus form yet 

Much to his parents dismay they understand why 

As soon as you got there Azul’s Parents practically latched onto you 

Bombarding you with questions 

“How did you meet our son?” “Is he treating you well?” 

Azul would try to pry his parents off of you 

Once they did they immediately set you two down on a table with menus 

Try anything and everything on their menu! They would love to make it! 

Once you two settle down on food they would ask so many questions again 

It was pretty much you telling them your life story to them 

Once dinner ended Azul’s Mother would pull aside, thanking you for taking care of their son and making him happy 

They realize they were bad parents for not helping Azul out when he was being bullied at school, but their trying to make it up with him 

And seeing him happy with someone he loves makes them so happy

“Oya oya? You want to meet my parents?”

What a weird question to ask, do land dwellers always ask these type of questions? 

He talked to his parents about possibly meeting you and they were okay with meeting you 

They weren’t excited but did want to meet you 

His parents agree to come visit the Mostro lounge

You were worried about making a good impression on them 

Jade told you that they are very serious and are not light hearted people 

You poor unfortunate soul was all Azul said when you ask him about the tweels parents 

Crap now you're really scared about meeting them

Jade reassure you that everything is going to be okay

When they arrive they were dressed in such fancy clothing 

Wow those clothes must be worth more a lot 

You tried to introduce yourself but you tripped over yourself 

Jade caught you for falling but you just stood there embarrassed 

Floyd was laughing his butt off over how funny that was 

“Oh dear are you okay?” his mother was the first to speak up 

A quick yeah and reintroduce yourself again 

The dinner was awkward, Azul was your tables waiter, you were sitting between Jade and Floyd and his parents on the other side 

Very awkward, Floyd got bored of this and started chatting up his parents like it’s nothing 

Jade glanced at you every once in a while to make sure you were daijoubu

But in reality everything was not daijoubu

Jade held your hand underneath the table to reassure you that he’s there for you 

But it didn’t help you at all

His father was the first to speak to you asking about you met his son 

You tried to answer without showing fear 

But they can see your fears 

Soon icebreakers were done and you eased up a bit 

They soon started chatting with you asking about school

You think they took pity on you 

Once they left you just let out the biggest cry and just glomped onto Jade telling hm how scary that was

“Oh sweet guppy I think my parents liked you”

“You think?”

A reassuring kiss and it’s off to cuddling

“Eeeh? You want to meet my parents?” 

This is going to be excited for Floyd at least 

He asked Jade to arrange a meeting with their parents 

Jade also found this excited since their parents aren’t very nice and welcoming people 

It was going to be at a very fancy restaurant that you can definitely not afford

You rose this concern to Floyd who just laughed and said that their parents would pay

“Huh… they are going to pay?” 

Yep! Now this makes you even more worried

How can they afford such an expensive restaurant 

When you three got there they were waiting outside the restaurant 

You don’t know what about them but they have this scary aura 

Floyd and Jade were happy to see them and greeted them 

While you were scared out of your mind 

Everyone was staring at you 

Floyd gave you a little nudge and you introduce yourself to them

Their faces didn’t change 

Uh oh now the panic is starting to fully settle 

When you were inside the restaurant Floyd and Jade were catching up with their Parents 

Floyd had his arm around you as he just casually talks to his parents 

His mother was the first to speak to you asking about how you met their sons 

You try to answer without stuttering or stumbling over your words but it just happened

You just wanted to die right then and there 

Jade was trying to hold back his laughter while give you a pity look 

Once dinner ended they said their farewells and whispered something into Floyds ear before leaving 

A big smile was on Floyds face as he whispered the same message to Jade 

Huh? What are they whispering about? 

It wasn’t until you three got to the Mostro lounge did Floyd tell you what they said 

A big smile and a sigh of relief was  heard from you as you relaxed on to Floyd

“I’m glad your parents wanted to get to know me more, this time I’ll try not to stumble over my words”

Would you like to order something? Look at our Tea shop rules first!

[kimonobeat]

Stephanie Lyrics: Kizuna (キズナ; The Bond We Share)

English translation and romanization below the cut.

ENGLISH

“I’m right here. Everything’s gonna be alright” You always say with a smile For some reason, just having you around cheers me up That’s ‘cause the bond we share will never ever change

You were there for me and didn’t ask a thing as I silently looked down at the ground Like a blanket gently wrapping itself around my heart, worn out by a love that had just ended

I’ve searched the night sky countless times but can’t see any stars The tears I hid from others as I tried to put on a brave face Are brimming over true to myself now, with a twinkle 'cause I’ve got you watching over me

“I’m right here. Everything’s gonna be alright” You always say with a smile For some reason, just having you around cheers me up That’s ‘cause the bond we share will never ever change

Why do I feel like it was all just yesterday when I see you once in a blue moon I fling my grown up persona aside and innocently make eyes at you

Lately, I’ve been thinking to myself That money could never buy being able to say what’s on your mind and laugh things off every once in a while If you’ve got a moment to sigh, then let’s keep talking for a little while longer

I felt my worries disappear Every time we lost track of time talking Though the seasons come and go, and though we can’t see the future Believe in the unbreakable bond we share

I don’t ever say it because it’s embarrassing, but whenever you feel like crying, I’ll be here beside you Until the rain stops and the rainbow appears, just like it did that day, and I always will

“I’m right here. Everything’s gonna be alright” Next time, I’d like to tell you Share your sadness with me until it transforms into a smile

I felt my worries disappear Every time we lost track of time talking Though the seasons come and go, and though we can’t see the future Believe in the unbreakable bond we share

ROMAJI

“watashi wa koko ni iru yo dakara daijoubu da yo” sou itte itsumo anata ga warau tonari ni iru dake de nazeka genki ni nareru kawaranai kizuna ga aru kara

nanimo iwazu utsumuku watashi ni nanimo kikazu soba ni ite kureta koi wa owari tsukareta kokoro wo yasashiku tsutsumu you ni

yozora wo nando sagashitatte hoshi wa mienakute dareka no mae de wa tsuyogatte kakushita namida ga ima wa tada sunao ni koborete’ku kirakira to anata ni mimamorarete

“watashi wa koko ni iru yo dakara daijoubu da yo” sou itte itsumo anata ga warau tonari ni iru dake de nazeka genki ni nareru kawaranai kizuna ga aru kara

hisashiburi ni au toki demo naze sugu ni mukashi mitai ni modoreru otona-butta jibun nugi-sutete mujaki na manazashi de

tama ni wa iitai koto itte warai-tobasu no mo kakegae nai koto nan da tte saikin omou yo tameiki wo tsuku hima ga attara mou sukoshi hanashi wo tsudzukeyou

jikan sae mo wasurete muchuu de hanasu tabi ni donna nayami demo kiete itta ne kisetsu wa meguru kedo ashita wa mienai kedo togirenai kizuna wo shinjite

terekusakute iwanai kedo nakitai toki soba ni iru yo ame ga agatte niji ga kakaru made ano hi no you ni itsudemo

“watashi wa koko ni iru yo dakara daijoubu da yo” kondo wa anata ni itte agetai kanashimi wake-atte hohoemi ni kawaru made

jikan sae mo wasurete muchuu de hanasu tabi ni donna nayami demo kiete itta ne kisetsu wa meguru kedo ashita wa mienai kedo togirenai kizuna wo shinjite

[dudeandduchess]

Hello! Hmm...It is my first time here, so, I apologize if my english skill is not good enough. I am Japan and I've read your headcanons for a long time. You're a wonderfull writer! Thank you for the warm and sweet stories. If you are not busy, I'd like to ask you to write headcanons about Kyojurou and Y/N as his future wife when they were children, when Ruka was alive and Shinjurou was a Hashira. Could you write about this? Sorry for troubling you and thank you once more for beautiful stories.

Hello, hello, bby! Hajimemashite! Daijoubu desu. Shinpai arimasen. Ahaha. I hope I didn’t get those words wrong. I only know rōmaji. Lol. Your english is really, really good! Thank you so, so much! I’m so happy that you think so highly of my works. And of course, I hope you like it. :D

I do apologize if this wasn’t a headcanon. I just thought that a scenario better suited your request. UwU

***

Kyōjurō x F!S/O: Happily Ever After (SFW Scenario):

Some people dreamed of happy ever-afters, with all the glitz and glamour that came with a wedding; while others dreamed of living a solitary life surrounded by their friends and family— alone, but not truly so.

Such wasn’t the case for (Y/n) and Kyōjurō; as neither of them had even taken the time to think about those things. Both of them wanted something different; something that most people didn’t even know was in the realm of reality.

“I want to be the next Flame Hashira!” Both a young (Y/n) and Kyōjurō cried gleefully, before looking at each other and narrowing their eyes at the other.

“I’ll be the next Flame Hashira! As my wife, I’ll make you my tsuguko!” Kyōjurō refuted with a hearty grin, which had his petulant betrothed rolling her eyes in exasperation.

Ruka, clearly amused with the exchange of the two children, adopted a small smile on her lips. “Kyōjurō, (Y/n)-chan is stronger than you think. She might become a Hashira before you.”

At that teasing remark, the aforementioned girl squealed in happiness, before taking off to a run towards her future mother in law. She dropped the wooden sword to the ground, then wrapped her arms around Ruka’s very pregnant form, which made the older woman’s smile widen.

“You really believe so, okaa-san?” (Y/n) asked happily, while Kyōjurō looked up at his mother with a slight pout on his face.

Ruka was about to answer, but the telltale sound of Shinjurō’s laughter rang through the backyard. “I’m home!”

Immediately, both children took off running towards the Flame Hashira; with (Y/n) throwing her arms around his waist, and Kyōjurō jumping up to cling to his father’s flexed left arm.

“How are my most favorite people?” Shinjurō asked enthusiastically. “Did you take care of the ladies, Kyōjurō my boy?”

“Of course, tou-san! I always look after them when you’re away!” Kyōjurō answered with a proud smile of his own, as he looked up at his father; before he gazed down at (Y/n) and stretched his lips up into a full-blown grin. “I’ll always protect the ones I love.”

(Y/n) blushed at her betrothed’s blatant words, before poking her tongue out at him; if only to save her from melting into a flustered puddle.

“Did you bring any gifts for me, tou-san?” The young girl asked enthusiastically, as she increased the brightness of her grin— just enough to get her own father’s best friend even further under her spell.

“Of course I did, (Y/n)-chan. How can I forget my cute little girl?” Shinjurō laughed once more, before fishing out a small flower hairpin from his pocket. He then tucked the pink piece into the little girl’s hair, which she touched— almost reverently— with the tips of her fingers.

“Thank you! And for Kyō?” (Y/n) implored with those doe-like eyes of hers. She seemed so innocent when, in reality, she was a master at manipulating adults with her cuteness. It was a trick she had learned from her own mother; as she could and would always charm her father into getting her way.

At that, the Hashira shook his head, then moved to lower his son to the ground. He then used his newly freed hand, and reached into his left pocket— only to pull out two pieces of bamboo.

With a quick motion, Shinjurō assembled the taketombo and handed it over to his son. “Be sure to share with (Y/n), alright? As a man, it’s your duty to share everything with your wife; just like I share everything with your mother.”

At that, Shinjurō looked up at his own wife— who held her baby bump carefully— then shot her a playful wink.

***

And, if (Y/n) were to be completely honest, she never would have thought that— despite all of the sadness that they had to go through along the way— she and Kyōjurō would still end up where they wanted to be.

Just a few minutes away from eternally committing themselves to each other; in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer. Up until their next life, and the ones after that.

“(Y/n)?” Kyōjurō’s voice was quiet, as he pressed his hand against the cold material of the shoji.

While, from the other side, (Y/n) lifted her own hand and pressed it against her future husband’s— through the bamboo and shoji paper. The action made her smile, as she could still feel his warmth beneath her palm.

“What’s wrong? Don’t tell me that you’re getting cold feet.” She teased with a quiet giggle, even as she felt tears of happiness blur her vision.

“No. Hardly. I just... wanted to say thank you. For loving me all these years. I can’t believe that, despite the long way we took to get here, it’s still me who’s going to get to love you for the rest of our lives. It feels like dream, to be honest.” More words wanted to pour from his lips, but the Flame Hashira bit them back. Because he knew that he was going to start crying if he uttered one more word.

[meimi-haneoka]

Incoherent thoughts on Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Chapter 35

YOU THOUGHT I WAS GONE AND I WOULDN’T POST ANYTHING ABOUT THE NEW CHAPTER OF CLEAR CARD, UH??? XDDD

Instead, you’ll have to stand another one of my ramblings because BOY I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY. Under the cut for the lucky souls who haven’t read anything yet!

(Raw scans used in the post by @horitsuba)

I’d like to start from the happy splash page, because it’s really adorable and....well, it’s almost the only happy thing of this chapter. Sakura and Syaoran dressed and acting like in a Mary Poppins musical or something really soothes our soul <3

THE PITS OF HELL®

What to say. Sakura basically lives Akiho’s past on her skin and I’m.... I mean, we had to pass through this. Akiho’s past wasn’t complete and sooner or later we had to see what they did and how exactly they turned her into a half-human, half-doll enabled to write on herself all the magic she comes in contact with. It’s part of the plot and we had to go through it. But. Actually seeing SAKURA, of all people (lord knows how much we love her) impersonating AKIHO (lord knows how much I love her), floating over that altar, in a scene that looks between a sacrificing ritual and a laboratory experiment, made my heart hurt. A lot. BUT it’s not over. On top of all of this, ON TOP OF ALL OF THIS, they had to stage it like a page straight from Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle. Why, there’s no feathers, no wings, then what? Well, I guess it’s Akiho’s dress, floating all around. Or the fact that these people are messing with her body and her soul (if she ends up absorbing too much magic, her soul will implode), and that Sakura looks SO DAMN much like Sakura-hime in that panel. Her hair, her profile, all reminds me of Sakura-hime. And it’s only normal! Mind you, I’m not saying there’s any tie to it just because of this. But I don’t think I’m too wrong when I say that CLAMP might have done it on purpose AGAIN. So, fuck you again, CLAMP! And now let me express how much I loathe these pieces of sh*t right above. Because, do you want to know why they started the “blank book” craze? Because a bored boy, consulted on the matter, said the first thing that came to his mind, in his usual snotty way. Yuna D. Kaito was a literal child when he was consulted about Akiho’s (nonexistent) powers, although being the strongest one of the Association. He said “eh, she’s just like a blank book” and those brainless jerks took it literally. This also opens a new theory about Kaito: he might be doing what he’s doing out of remorse, for something he said and couldn’t control outside of him. The deeds of the Association + the Squid Clan are the very proof the evil has made its entrance in the CCS world. But worry not: the challenge will be even harder, but I’m sure Sakura will be able to purify the story from their contamination.

The first thing I decided

In the real world, Kaito and Momo recognize that it wasn’t Akiho the one talking, but the people of the Association + Akiho’s clan. This is for them the first time seeing Akiho loosing consciousness and trying to steal Sakura’s powers, even though it kinda already happened in Fujitaka’s library (but they weren’t there). From the new information given, we now know this is absolutely something that cannot happen: both for Sakura and for Akiho too, who would die as a human being if she were to absorb Sakura’s tremendous amount of power. It is clear as the day that Kaito will not allow any of that, because he cares for Akiho. And the clarification is finally crystallized in Kaito’s memory of their first (?) meeting: Akiho is still a kid, already capable to read, while he looks more or less of Syaoran and Sakura’s current age, or 1 year older maximum. His face rounder, his eyes bigger and kind. Akiho is surprised and I can almost imagine her reaction after this: “Is this person really talking to me???” Think what you want, but I can’t help but being happy that Akiho found Kaito in her life. We have yet to see how he went from “I don’t care” to “I’d give my life for her”. Yes. Kaito decides to stop the time of Akiho’s book as an emergency solution, preventing her from going “intercom-mode” everytime she comes in contact with magic. Momo is freaking out again, reminding him of what it means to meddle with time magic, but he doesn’t care. He took a decision that day. The very first thing he decided by himself. Until then, he only went with the flow, he accepted going into the Association not because he wanted to, but because he didn’t feel strongly against it. But Akiho, Akiho’s situation was the first thing that shook him enough for him to care. Kaito says that he still got enough life left to perform this spell, and in his smile it’s clear that he doesn’t care about the price he has to pay. This might be the last time he’ll be able to perform time magic. For sure he can’t go on much longer. And while this effort might save Akiho, will he kill her with grief for his premature disappearance? Momo is very angry at Kaito, and this is the reason why.

Heart hurts

Kaito rewinds time for a few minutes successfully and we’re back at the YamaChiha scene, when Sakura suddenly glomps Akiho out of nowhere, towels dropping to the ground, starting to cry. She’s visibly shaken, and nobody understands what the hell happened to her, even Sakura herself.  But we do. Sakura’s power might be so strong that she’s starting to counter the effects of Kaito’s time magic, so her body and heart survived the time-rewinding. She’s still not conscious of her emotions, but when her brain will join in overthrowing Kaito’s magic, his tricks won’t work to keep her “ignorant” of the situation anymore.

Needless to say, Syaoran is worried sick, so much that he walks her home after school, and he CALLS HER exactly 2 minutes after leaving her, with her house still in sight. He says he’s still worried. Sakura says that as an apology for making them worry, she’ll bring some homemade sweets the day after (again the homemade thematic surfacing), and that she will try to explain to him what happened back at school, when she’ll find the words. The chapter ends with her iconic zettai daijoubu da yo, and we’re supposed to be relieved by that, but I’ve heard many people feeling still uneasy after reading this chapter. It’s absolutely worth mentioning that both Kero and Suppi freak out when they see Sakura returning with puffy red eyes, and I found especially cute that Suppi was so worried too. She’s really loved by everyone!

Now, I know Kaito rewound time again, but I think this time is slightly less meaningless. Cause of course Sakura couldn’t stay in that nightmare any longer. At some point time would have to flow again and Akiho would have absorbed Sakura’s power, determining the end (?) for both girls. They’re in a shitty situation and Kaito only seems to be able to put patches on it, but for how long? Am I enjoying this more serious turn of Clear Card? Yes I am. Especially cause I know that in the end everything will be ok, so I enjoy biting my nails (and screaming at the Squids, of course!) in the meantime. Thank you for staying with me for this rant too!! Let me know your thoughts, as always!

[little-forget-me-not]

Little Glee Monster – Dakara, Hitori ja nai (だから, ひとりじゃない) Lyrics/Translation

ENGLISH TRANSLATION

Cry, cry, cry, struggling Many times, let's overcome! Cry, cry, cry, struggling Not again... We're not alone!

Stuck against a headwind, why this only happens to me Back then, I hated every beautiful things (Always alone) But everything is connected this moment I have to keep running, I'm not close to my dreams

Just by looking up at the sky, the answer won't be found. This is the time to prove that we're here

Crying again today, crying Many times, I'll show you I can overcome it I'll hold your hand (Everything's gonna be alright) This is not loneliness! This isn't! Shout with unyielding heart doubtlessly I won't run away anymore

In a city with people I didn't know Unfamiliar, tears flowed on the way home Even if I pass the destination station Even if I wanna go somewhere

Nostalgic smells and warm voices I miss a faraway dream of that day Where am I supposed to be? Where am I heading?

Now we're standing at the middle of an intersection that leads into a dream Surely someday we'll understand the meaning of our presence here

Crying again today, struggling Surely this time I'll crawl up I won't ever give up (Everything's gonna be alright) I can make it happen! I get it now! Shout with unyielding heart doubtlessly I won't run away anymore

I don't have time to stand still Let's go see the dream we've been describing!

Crying again today, crying Many times, I'll show you I can overcome it, I'll hold your hand This is not loneliness! This isn't! Shout with unyielding heart doubtlessly

Crying, struggling Surely this time I'll crawl up I won't ever give up (Everything's gonna be alright) I can make it happen! I get it now! Shout with unyielding heart doubtlessly I won't run away anymore I'll seize it.

KANJI

泣いて　泣いて　泣いて　もがいて 何度だって　乗り越えていこう 泣いて　泣いて　泣いて もがいて もう...ひとりじゃないから！

向かい風ばかり　なんで自分だけ 綺麗ごとが　嫌いだった　（ヒトリで） すべては繋がる　今この瞬間 すべては繋がる　今この瞬間 走り続けなきゃ　夢に近づけない

空見上げてるだけじゃ　答えは見つからないんだ 今こそ　証明したいよ　僕らが　ココにいることを

今日も　泣いて　泣いて 何度だって　乗り越えてみせるよ 手を握るよ(大丈夫さ) ヒトリじゃないんだ！ないんだ！ 絶対に譲れない心を叫べ もう　逃げない

初めて会う人ばかりの街に 慣れず　涙　溢れる　帰り道に 目的の駅通り過ぎても どこかに行ってしまいたくても

なつかしい匂いやあたたかい声 恋しくて　遠ざかる　あの日の夢 自分がどこにいるべきなのか 自分はどこに向かってるのか

夢に続く交差点　今　真ん中に　立ってるんだ きっと　いつか　わかるよ　僕らが　ココにいる意味を

今日も　泣いて　もがいて 今度こそって　這い上がってみせるよ あきらめない(大丈夫さ) 叶えるんだ！わかった！ 絶対に譲れない心を叫べ もう　逃げない

立ち止まっている　暇などないんだ 描いている　未来に　逢いに行こう

今日も　泣いて　泣いて 何度だって　乗り越えてみせるよ 手を握るよ ヒトリじゃないんだ！ないんだ！ 絶対に譲れない心を叫べ

泣いて　もがいて 今度こそって　這い上がってみせるよ あきらめない(大丈夫さ) 叶えるんだ！わかった！ 絶対に譲れない心を叫べ もう　逃げない つかむんだ。

ROMAJI

naite naite naite mogaite nando datte norikoete ikou naite naite naite mogaite mou... hitori ja nai kara!

mukaikaze bakari nande jibun dake kireigoto ga kirai datta (hitori de) subete wa tsunagaru ima kono shunkan hashiritsudzukenakya yume ni chikadzukenai

sora miageteru dake ja kotae wa mitsukaranainda ima koso shoumei shitai yo bokura ga koko ni iru koto o

kyou mo naite naite nando datte norikoetemiseru yo te o nigiru yo (daijoubu sa) hitori ja nainda! nainda! zettai ni yuzurenai kokoro o sakebe mou nigenai

hajimete au hito bakari no machi ni narezu namida afureru kaerimichi ni mokuteki no eki toorisugite mo dokoka ni itteshimaitakutemo

natsukashii nioi ya atatakai koe koishikute toozakaru ano hi no yume jibun ga doko ni iru beki na no ka jibun wa doko ni mukatteru no ka

yume ni tsudzuku kousaten ima mannaka ni tatterunda kitto itsuka wakaru yo bokura ga koko ni iru imi o

kyou mo naite mogaite kondo koso tte haiagattemiseru yo akiramenai (daijoubu sa) kanaerunda! wakatta! zettai ni yuzurenai kokoro o sakebe mou nigenai

tachidomatteiru hima nado nainda egaiteiru mirai ni ai ni ikou

kyou mo naite naite nando datte norikoetemiseru yo te o nigiru yo hitori ja nainda! nainda! zettai ni yuzurenai kokoro o sakebe

naite mogaite kondo koso tte haiagattemiseru yo akiramenai (daijoubu sa) kanaerunda! wakatta! zettai ni yuzurenai kokoro o sakebe mou nigenai tsukamunda

[ameppuu]

Friday, November 17, 2017

At Seoul (Airport)

Messing up everything. Feels like everything I'm doing is wrong.

But it's really just that problems are coming up that I no longer have any control over and that I have no way to fix.

And I'm alone.

And I'm really worried about how this weekend will go.

But the truth is, everything will go okay.

EVERYTHING will be fine.

This is just my first experience dealing with big problems that I was supposed to be in charge of.

I kind of just want to cry and get it all out hahahaaa

I've just been working so hard, been under so much pressure and time constraints, and I've had almost no time to rest.

I'm really, really tired.

But everything will be okay. Everything will get solved. I maybe could have handled the situation better from the beginning, but now I know. And at the beginning, I just didn't know.

It's kind of crazy how many things just happened all at once.

But now I know. I know what to do next time, and if it's not me next time I know how to train the next person well.

Arigatougozaimasu.

Watashi ha, daijoubu desu.

Ippai, ippai ochikara wo itadaiteimasu. Watashi ha hitori dehanai.

Hontouni, hontouni arigatou gozaimasu.

I'm excited to go to another country.

Jakarta, ittekimasu.

[zetsubou-carnival]

everything will be daijoubu | Trial 4 | Nariko | Re:Results

“And the winner is… Nariko Hariko! I’ll give you a few minutes to say goodbye, ehehe~!”

Well, that was a shock.

It was one thing to be wrong. If Kohaku hadn't done it, then that meant... Kasumi broke her promise to Nariko. But, unfortunately, Nariko didn't have a lot of time to dwell on that because... She was the chosen one. She was going to die because they all got it wrong. She was going to die a death just as brutal as Seiichi's, and Kirika's, and Coco's, and...

Well, she didn't have a lot of time to dwell on that either. The screaming and yelling started, and though she was ready to cry already, that's what made her cry the most. Silent tears poured out of her eyes as her classmates-- her friends-- yelled at Kohaku. She didn't cry out of anger or sadness... If anything, they were almost tears of joy. 

Hearing Kohaku's answer relieved her worries from before and answered her previous question. It felt odd to feel so calm but so panicked right before her death. She didn't really know how to feel at all. There was so much that she hadn't done yet-- that she still needed to do; but, maybe... this was okay.

When people started punching and throwing things, and-- oh god, who knew Hatsuna could do that?!-- going ballistic, Nariko needed to say something,

"Wait, everyone!" she yelled. She wiped the tears from her eyes and continued. "It's... It's okay!" she said. "It's... okay. Matsushita-chan was just trying to help everyone! They just... took things into their own hands! It's not their fault, and it's not Mizui-chan's fault either! They both did it for a good cause... It's... it's this carnival's fault! I just wish there was some other way... "

"I'm... I'm not ready to die. I don't think any of us are... But if anyone needs to go, I think I'm glad it's me... Over and over, while we've been here, and even in my career, I've failed and failed... I've been beating myself up over not being able to help any of you, not being able to stop... anyone from dying. Being useless while looking for evidence. Maybe... maybe now you'll all be able to bust out of here without me holding you all back." 

The smile with tears in her eyes was almost unnerving.

"Maybe this is what I'm meant to do! Maybe my destiny was to... pick up where my dad left off, come here, and be energy all of you need to figure out how to leave! And... I'm okay with that! Okay, maybe not the most okay, but I'll be okay! Okay, maybe I won't be okay, but you all will be, and that's what matters!"

"If I have to die for any group of people, I'm glad it's all of you!"

[ianmoonestuff]

AQOURS 1ST LOVE LIVE ~Step! ZERO to ONE~ Live Viewing Coverage in Malaysia

I really don’t know how to start this article with. It was a hell of a concert. Full of ups and downs kind of feelings. The memories that AQOURS had given us was quite priceless. As usual my article will be very long and VERY thorough. 

So please, in order for you to fully enjoy reading my article, it is recommended for you to really spare some time, brew a cup of coffee(or tea, whichever you prefer) and sit back, take a deep breath and enjoy.

I’ll divide the coverage into Day 1, Day 2, personal opinions, the REAL things that happened during the Live Viewing in Malaysia and BONUS as I’ll explain one of the greatest history and memories in Love Live concerts.

Update: -Added video highlight from official sources. I also want to share the unofficial one but I lost it..sorry

https://www.facebook.com/GSCinemas/videos/10155217647297275/

DAY 1

(25th Feb)

GSC Movies stated that the official merchandises will be available to purchase starting 12.00pm until the concert began. I rushed there by train(as usual) in the morning. Some of my friends are already there as early as 6am or so I heard.

They only provided a very LIMITED item such as pamphlet, sub-unit rubber strap keychains and KingBlade.

And surprisingly everything went sold out fast for the FIRST hour!

Also we were featured on the big screen. The video was during the recent Final Love Live and the record breaking for the largest audience and 1st Live Viewing in Malaysia.

It’s time. People taking their seats.

Now some of the highlights from the concert. I won’t provide any pics because...it’s a rule duuh and I won’t gonna risk my country from getting ban. Also I won’t specify it much since you guys can read it more from many sources out there.

So they start with Aozora Jumping Heart followed by Koi ni Naritai AQUARIUM and introductions. Everything went so well until...rainstorm came.

Yeah the live viewing got interrupted. I heard that Singapore were affected too. If it does then I’m not that surprise since it’s raining season now here in Southeast Asia. It happened to be during a raining season so can’t help much. We tried to warn people to keep switching off their phones. The least thing that we could do was do not disturb the signal. We missed Yume de Yozora wo Terashitai and Genki Zankai DAY! DAY! DAY! but quickly recovered until CYaRon’s mc part.

The funny thing was if you guys remember the 2nd or 3rd episode when Chika, You and Riko about to perform their first debut and everything doesn’t went well because of the thunderstorm? Yeah, it was the same thing that happened us. All of us were screaming “KISEKI!!!”. Some of us even sang some idol songs to calm us down(curse the guy who sang BokuHikari XD). The funny thing was they even sang some random songs from other idol anime like Macross Delta and iM@s.

My favourite part was when Guilty Kiss make their appearance with Strawberry Trapper song. KYAAAAAAAA!!!! It was a legit rock song sang by some cute girls and I LOVE IT. Their performance was FREAKING AWESOME!!! I CAN’T DESCRIBE MUCH HOW AWESOME THEY DID. EVERYONE CHEERS MAKE IT MORE PUMPED UP AND I CAN’T STOP TYPING IN CAPS!!! MY OSHI HAVE TO BE MARI AND AINYA, HER SEIYUU AND SOMEHOW I PICKED THE RIGHT GIRLLL!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH. LOCKK ON!!!!! MY KOKORO!!!!

Not to mentioned AZALEA!! Especially Arisha. Given that she’s also a gravure idol, man I can’t help but being amazed of how was she look with that dress. GOSH!!!

The live ended with Step! ZERO to ONE as one of the encore.

We actually did the largest AQOURS-SUNSHINE cheers but I forgot to take the picture because I was busy queuing in the arcade(my bad sorry )  

DAY 2

(26th Feb)

Well the weather back then was pretty cloudy. I can expect many things can be happened during 2nd...which it was indeed happened.

I started a few bit late and the hall will be open on 2.30pm.

2nd day setlist was pretty much the same as first but they replaced AQOURS Heroes with humming Bird. 

Somehow I did a good deed as a fellow Love Liver. Apparently a girl sitting beside me didn’t have any KB and judging by the way she act, she was a shy girl. Once the concert was about to start everyone were standing up except for her. So in order for not letting her felt left out, I offered let her borrowed one FLL KB(I actually brought three different kind of KBs during that time haha how convenience). She said she was kind of nervous(aww how cute) but I kept telling her that just enjoy the show, scream all you want and dance the hell all you want, we don’t judge here as we’re all Love Liver here. So I did showed her how to use the KB and yeah she missed some of the chants, cheers, calls but meh she was still learning.

Everything went so well and again like I said before since it was a raining season here...yes, we got another interruption and this time it was kinda frustrated for me. This because we still have a few more songs left to go and *boom* it happened. I heard people praying to God so it won’t happen that long, some of them even left the hall for awhile for a breather and yeah I did pray a lot too so we won’t missed much. 

Then suddenly some guy screaming from outside the hall. He told us that they finally announced the 2nd season of AQOURS and 2nd Live Tour! We screamed with overjoyed but we still want to watch the broadcast.

Then the broadcast turned back into normal and it showed the last mc where Aikyan was crying about the announcement. I straight away grabbed my KBs and support her along with other cast.  Thus, the 1st Live ended with a breeze...well...not ‘that’ breeze as I’ll talk about it later. Enjoyed some dinner with other Love Liver then went home with head full of memories and tiredness of supporting your favourite girls(I slept while standing in a train...no kidding)

Forgot to mention that we actually did made a flowerstand. We have representatives there who handle the flower for us.

 Thanks to all who contributed for our project. Surprisingly we have one Indonesian contributor there who also joined our project. Incase people wondering, KEI is my nickname there.

Below are some shenanigans that we Malaysia’s Love Liver did haha

(Noticed that various idol series?)

The thing that he hold was actually AQOURS callbook.

...courtesy of Malaysia’s Love Liver.

Oh and if you decided to come here in Mid Valley, please visit Komugi bakery. I really love their meronpan. Wish you were here @emitsunosaurus-rex

And that’s all for AQOURS 1st Love Live ~Step ZERO to ONE~ coverage from me. Thanks for reading...you can go now...unless...

Rikako’s Breakdown

Yeah...it was one of those biggest moment in histories of Love Live live concerts. It literally hit me hard...VERY hard seeing RKK’s(Rikako) struggle for the sake of the concert, for the sake of other members and for the sake of her fans. We didn’t stop discussing about it after the concert was done. Even while we’re having a dinner. I had to ban myself from listening any AQOuRS songs after the incident in order to let the feeling cool down a bit...(but knowing internet’s natural being, I kept being hit by feelings everytime I checked my phone.)

It was a 2nd day live viewing. The seiyuu were already took their spot for Omoi yo Hitotsu ni Nare song. The piano was already there as usual. The idea of the performance was to imitate back episode 11 where we already know the story behind it was that Riko had a problem of playing piano and won’t play before this but then decided to join the competition...but since this is LIVE concert, it was a real business.

When Chika(Anchan) started to sing everything went well...until when the music was cut off. I actually did noticed a ‘wrong’ note being pressed resulting the music sounds a bit off. The rest of the seiyuu just continue on dancing and keep acting professional as they might be thinking it was just a technical problem and soon be over. The instrumental version was played a bit to cover RKK mistake but just for a few seconds as they realized that RKK...REALLY DO NEED HELP NOW! 

A faint voice saying ”ごめんね”(gomenne) was heard and Anchan rushed to RKK and embraced her, hugged tightly and calmed her down followed by Ainya(Mari) and Suwawa(Kanan). The word ”大丈夫”(daijoubu) being repeated countless time in order to make sure RKK really calmed down. Anchan reached and gave her a water bottle and a towel. They hold her hands very tightly and keep on calming her down. Knowing Ainya’s personality, I already expected that she will rushed to RKK too(YOU GO GIRL!!).

Yes RKK had a panic attack. This might be because of the pressure she had to face when it comes to Omoi yo Hitotsu ni Nare song where she volunteered herself(if I’m not mistaken) to perform the piano part. I’ve to admit everything went very well on the 1st day and it was really great watching RKK performed. Having no background of any music theory, she practiced playing piano for the past 3 months...for her fans. 

The crowds including me broke into tears. The incident really...really...really hit me VERY hard! At first I thought it was a gimmick to imitate back the scene where Riko can’t play piano...but it was a mistake and I’m really sorry for thinking it that way. I really am. 

The crowd then switched their KB into sakura pink and keep chanting “RIKAKO!” countless time. I did the same and screamed my lungs out hoping my voice to reach out despite broadcasting in Malaysia. All of the crowd turned into a sea of sakura pink as a sign of supporting RKK. Tear-mark left on our face during that time.

Anchan, Suwawa and Ainya, they hugged each other for a very quite some time. Then they continued on taking their spot leaving RKK alone again and hoping everything will be fine. I still can’t forget RKK’s face and shaky hands from the camera view that mounted beside the piano as soon she about to start playing it.

They performed Omoi yo Hitotsu ni Nare as usual and this time without any mistake and no flaw. RKK’s performance on piano was flawless. Ending the song with a view of RKK pressing the last note...with her shaky hands trying to get that perfect sound...she pressed it. The last note was a bit off but I DON’T CARE!! RKK have done well for us. The audience still keeping their sakura pink KB and keep on chanting RKK’s name endlessly. The performance ended with You greeted ”ただいま”(tadaima) followed by ”おかえり” by RKK...with a smile.

Again...it was one of the greatest, heart warming moment in the history of Love Live concerts. Rikako eventhough you’re not my oshi, you’ve earned a special place in my heart because of your act of braveness facing your hardship, never give up and keep on smiling in the end...

There you have it, my coverage for the past 2 days. I was listening to Omoi yo Hitotsu ni Nare while finishing this article and yeah nonstop tears streaming out. Sorry for taking it too long as I was busy and calming myself up after that ‘incident’.

With 2nd season coming up and Next Step Project, I hope they realized that they are actually competing with their own senpai in this idol-anime world. Not to be rude but I’m looking forward for AQOURS to beat their senpai sometime haha

As always, feel free to contact me if there are any errors here and there. I won’t bite.

Pictures Credits: https://www.facebook.com/gscmovies/ https://www.facebook.com/scania.hokokonn https://www.facebook.com/sixthseal https://www.facebook.com/blesxjiarong https://www.facebook.com/aio015 https://www.facebook.com/thompson.enthusiast https://www.facebook.com/houjoufamily https://www.facebook.com/Chiu.K.Liang https://animatetimes.com My pictures My monochrome-themed instagram account

~If there’s a colour for courage, it would be sakura pink~