#i didn't know i even had this many feelings about martin and tim but here we are

[twwings]

so I spent the last few months just marathoning The Magnus Archives??? I was curious and I have a long-ish commute that I need to fill with audio, so I went for it. I was somewhat spoiled by fanart I saw randomly over the years but not entirely spoiled, and I quite enjoyed it. Some thoughts (both positive and negative thoughts below) because I wanted to write them down as I chew over the show. Also my ramblings might be pleasurable to folks who are big fans and enjoy hearing about people listening to their thing for the first time?

Spoilers for all of TMA, but as I haven't listened to The Magnus Protocol yet (I'm sure I will) no spoilers for that.

thoughts in no particular order:

didn't know that my trypophobia could be activated aurally! thanks, season one. it's good to learn about yourself

because I had seen lots of fanarts around, I knew that Jon/Martin would eventually be a canon thing, so I just spent the early episodes making fun of Jon whenever he was mean about Martin. Jon would be like "ugh, Martin, amirite?" and I'd yell at the car speakers like "lol you're gonna MARRY that guy"

sometimes I found the show a little boring or too expositiony (like the episode where Leitner shows up) and it made me think a lot about the conditions of production, like, having fans who were super into the show and red stringing it up clearly made them want to explain things sometimes in a way not necessary to the story - or, at least, it didn't feel necessary to me as a casual listener who was coming in after the fact and not part of the fandom. maybe it felt necessary for other folks, or to the cast and crew at the time.

relatedly, oh god, I did not keep up with all the plotlines and stuff. like it took me a WHILE to realize that the show was not just gonna be standalone/anthology stuff and would have an overarching plot so I did not pay attention early on to repeated names or plots. and because I was listening on my commute I was like "welp, can't google it, gonna let it go" and I did. I'm here to tell you that the magnus archives is still enjoyable even if you don't care that much about what's going on

when I did really start to care was the end of season four/season five. absolutely love that they went there with the end of season four (I thought it'd just be a buffy-style "now we fight a BIGGER big bad at the end of this season" escalation forever, but no, they unleashed hell on earth, baller move, A+, loved it

so I was spoiled that Martin (and Jon? I wasn't sure) died at some point, though I didn't really know where or how. I also saw someone post something like "oh TMA, great show, too bad it ends after five minutes into episode 160" so from that I kind of extrapolated that Martin died in episode 160? so my experience of listening to that one was REALLY on tenterhooks because the first five minutes was Martin going for a nice walk! and then Jon getting taken over by the statement! so while listening to the middle bit of 160 I was convinced that when Martin came back from his walk Jon was gonna kill him (while possessed, obviously) as part of the ritual thing. so really the following 40 episodes of Martin being alive were pretty sweet to me. Every episode after that when Martin was alive I was like, score, bonus, love it, I'm glad Jon didn't stab him three seconds after they got into a relationship

kept listening for a physical description of Jon to match all the fanart and never got one? I guess the fanon of what Jon looks like is just super consistent for some reason?

hated Tim, I can't disguise it, I hated Tim and I was glad when he died and I was glad he didn't come back, sorry Tim fans, live your truth and I will live mine

wish there weren't so many cops on this show, tho the show did seem to recognize that a little in S5 and try to do some things about it

I'm just a huge sucker for every genre experiment in S5. omg I loved it. Terminus gets a coroner's report, The Unknowing gets slam poetry, The Flesh gets a gardening manual?????? mwah. it made me excited for the format of the statements again when they'd gotten stale. so many smart and interesting genre experiments in S5! and I, like Jon, don't even like poetry (just write some prose! I've never identified with a character more), so you know I'm impressed when I'm exclaiming about some poem

seriously! the genre experiments!!! so good

"queer couple navigate their new relationship and also The Hellscapes" = amazing, ty, also ty for doing it twice

somehow I managed not to notice the line about Jon being asexual at first and then I saw some tumblr post about it and I was like, wait what? my brain had gone pretty far down into some non-asexual fanfiction stories before I got that bit of canon and had to record-scratch freeze-frame. anyway I am pleased by the ace rep and hope to go read some non-sexual D/s for them in the future, please tell me if you know some good stuff

please also tell me if you know about fanfictions where Martin consensually feeds Jon his own memories and it's weird and intense

saw a cute fluffy domestic fanart where Jon was blind (ie had blinded himself to escape the eye) and I laughed and laughed that this is a fandom in which the happy fluffy AUs are the ones where the characters have violently blinded themselves. not to say I'm not gonna read the fluffy AUs where they've violently blinded themselves, I am, I'm sure they're lovely, it's just funny

don't think I wasn't thinking about Crowley and Aziraphale in the episode where Jon is like "what if we ran away together" in season four. When Jon is like "What if we ran away together, you and me, we could do it, what if we did" and he absolutely knows that Martin is not gonna say yes and maybe he doesn't want Martin to say yes but he wants to ask him anyway, he wants to try it anyway, because the fantasy of escape, together, is overpowering. anyway don't think I didn't think about Crowley

also laughed and laughed at the like four episodes at the end where Jon is like "maybe I should . . . . . . . . . . . become the Torment Nexus? From the classic scifi novel, Don't Become the Torment Nexus?" and first Martin and then everyone else is like "Jon, don't become the Torment Nexus" and it's really clear that you should not become the Torment Nexus but then later Jon says fuck it and becomes the Torment Nexus

I say it's really clear but the idea that you should strand and isolate and burn out the powers is not a bad one. I did like that the second to last episode was just a debate on morality with no clear resolution. that's a lovely way to send off your characters. tho it didn't matter a lot to the end plot? but still.

Jon "I think I'll just become the Torment Nexus" Simms, istg

THE TORMENT NEXUS

Sue Simms' voice is incredibly hot, Gertrude Robinson is absolutely deadass smokin, love how the Legend of Gertrude just built up over the seasons until by the end she was this like powerful callous avenging angel, no notes, might build a shrine in the woods with pictures of Gertrude in little jars

Gerry and Jurgen were both madly in love with her and she didn't notice or care because she was too busy kicking ass, no notes AT ALL

I really like the bit at the beginning of S5 where Jon is depression-listening to old archives tapes, like it's really effective to do the birthday party flashback just there when the world's just been apocalypsed, but I can't stop thinking about how Jon is listening to that tape and, in retrospect, being like "did Elias/Jonah use his all-powerful knowledge and vision to find out that there was cake in the office?" idk it really feels like Elias's motives in that flashback are like "eat cake" and no one else realizes that he's used his monstrous evil eye power to locate cake. anyway I imagine that Jon had all of these thoughts during his depression

Basira made me laugh ALL THE TIME, the voice acting was so good and she was so over everyone's shit. but at the same time there's this real softness to her at the end of S5 after she's killed Daisy, like she's still tough and grounded in her own perspective but suddenly more compassionate or sympathetic. she has such a good journey over the show

were Basira and Daisy a thing? I could not tell. maybe I should not ask. maybe I am not meant to know. maybe even asking shows how little I know, because their intense and murderous bond exceeds traditional relationship categories

I had a really nice time!!!

I will need to read fanfictions

I will need to watch animatics

I will need to seek out fanarts

the end

[abelllia]

3, 10, 12 !!

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

Oh hmmm genuinely hard because I like to mind wipe whenever I see a bad take. The *one* that I remember was from twt too. I'll describe it anyway even if I have talked about it here before. It was something implying that Jon wouldn't take another character's trauma seriously. Since it's the violence ask I'll mention that the other character was Martin. The first time I saw it I genuinely blank-screened in a negative way because it did NOT compute. It was set in S1 but even then I can't imagine Jon not having at *least* an "oh, shit" moment. Especially since Martin's trauma in the thing was childhood trauma. Got me going 😒

10. worst part of fanon

Originally, I had three whole paragraphs about aspects that I dislike but I realized they all just point to one thing— flattening.

Flattening of characters, of morality, of the concept of the entities, yadda yadda. This has happened in every fandom since time immemorial for either comedic purposes or sorting purposes. We love putting things in neat little boxes because it just makes things easier to digest and communicate. Martin is the sunshine one, Jon is the tsundere, Tim is the flirt, Sasha is the Girl™️, Elias is the Ad Campaign Villain with a twirly moustache. It's easy to understand but just less...interesting? I don't want to rag on stuff made for fun/memes, I like funny haha fandom memes. It just feels like a lot of fights about the characters boil down to ignoring the multitudes they contain. The contradictory aspects which make them who they are.

Everyone has probably already said their piece about character flattening so I'll go about the morality thing and how people really like to fight about who's in the right and who's in the wrong. Guys, this is tma, they've all done bullshit. No one is ever going to be completely in the right in this show they've all been shitty people to each other at one point, that's what's *fun* about it. My favourite part is that how, even though I may disagree with a character's actions, I can understand *why* they do it. It makes them feel more like people to me. For an easy example I'll just choose the Gertrude-Michael thing. Yeah, Gertrude sacrificing a human being to an entity who tore his who from his what is pretty shitty. One strike in the wrong. However, from how Gertrude and literally everyone else understood the world at that point, her actions can be considered heroic because in their mind, she just stopped an apocalypse! Saved billions of people from becoming Fear Food. One strike in the right. However, as we soon will know it was basically useless. Gertrude will find out that the Ritual would have never worked anyway so all the sacrifices she did (Michael, Jan, who knows who else) were in vain! Yeowch! Two strikes in the wrong. Ain't it fun? Yet I still see Gertrude interpretations that act like she just did it for fun or something, not that she thought the whole world would end if she didn't sacrifice this one dude to the Distortion.

Honestly I'm not satisfied with this ramble and I think there are plenty of flaws in it but I don't want to write anymore and I don't want to think. Yeah, flattening stuff is fun sometimes but not when it seeps into serious-ish discussions.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

Look hear me out– Basira and Peter Lukas.

Basira to me is compelling to me for so many reasons. She's the most mentally....secure? character in the show, like she logic'd her way out of the *Unknowing*, and it's implied that she's had to be like that from a young age. Based on her S3 pre-Unknowing statement about how that's how her father raised her. But, she's also so controlled by her emotions. Most clearly and notoriously with Daisy, but another example is when her fondness for Jon in S2 overrode her goal to catch him for potential murder. Her emotions matter to her but also calm logic. Which can lead to a lot of interesting and *frustrating* contradictory moments. Again, notoriously with Daisy and how she treated her vs Jon in S4. She's so incredibly flawed and I love it. She's so secure in her own mind that she doesn't even challenge her own biases and instead present them as fact. It's *such* an interesting character trait and it would be so fun to dig into. However, I also realize that probably also the exact reason why people dislike talking about her. She's a hypocritical murder cop accomplice and that can give anyone an incredibly sour taste in their tongue thinking about her (it gives me a sour taste rn like, should I really be writing about her?)There's just so much I want to pick her brain about though. Insert thing here about liking her as a character does not mean I like her as a person.

Peter Lukas is a piece of shit, but he's a funny piece of shit and I like that. He's living apathy and he's so useless and skfjejcjsnnd

Yeah I can't even defend him he's just such garbage, but I find him fun to bully. Someone once pointed out that when he lost the bet with Elias he acted like a little kid throwing a tantrum and I found it so funny. This man isn't doing anything, he's not even the captain of his own ship in anything but name, Tadeas does all the navigation shit. He really is just some rich kid. A sad strange little man and he's unwillingly a fave because of it.

[andrewlloydwebber]

okay evita review incoming probably today... i will say that obviously the character of che is integral to the structure of evita and what makes the show memorable. but he's never entirely worked when you think about it too much, which i always do.

i admire hal prince a lot but his device of having the evita character "che" be Actual Historical Figure Che Guevara is kinda misguided. the real che guevara never met eva peron (although he did meet juan peron years after her death) and while they are both political figures from argentina, he wouldn't know intimate details about her life (like magaldi or her cancer) or be obsessed with her above all else. in the last few years of eva's life, he had other concerns and wasn't even in argentina. "che" being che guevara is hal prince's theatrical device, not even alw and tim rice's original conception of the character, and it frustrates me that I've read so many news articles/interviews about subsequent productions of evita NOT directed by hal prince and the media is always like "why didn't this production use che guevara??? why is "che" an everyman? it's notable that "che" is not che guevara" as if directors have to do that or else. there is nothing in the script that indicates that che guevara is even relevant here. everyman "che" is the default now, the majority of new productions have that, and if i directed a production of evita and someone asked me a question like that, i would answer honestly that it would feel like i was playing with someone else's toys and i would find that limiting and like i was ripping him off. directors should be boxed in to only imitate the original but slightly different and a lot worse (cough cough laurence connor's whole career).

but at the same time, if "che" is an everyman, he needs to be more defined as a character. i don't think ricky martin did this successfully. there needs to be backstory behind his actions and thoughts, even if it's internal on the actor's part and not clearly spelled out to the audience. and the new pre-broadway production does this. one of the ensemble members plays "young che" while the "present day che" sings all his material, it's clearly defined from the beginning that in his youth, "che" was a working class "enforcer"/"right hand man" working personally juan peron, climbing the ranks in the military, initially idealistic and on board, gradually becoming disillusioned about the cause and about the eva peron foundation's embezzlement problem and the numbers not adding up, before being stripped of his position for speaking up. in this production, che actually has stakes in eva's life beyond living under peron's government and being upset about it. and while there were some weird moments, it really did work!

[a-mag-a-day]

MAG 40 - cutting apples

Ok so right off the bat I have to say, I think it's a rather weird choice to have this scenes be on the same day as the attack itself. I can't under no circumstances imagine that they were not kept at the hospital. Were they even at a hospital? Elias says "about an hour after they'd taken you and Tim away". Why on earth would Tim come back to work, Jon I get, but Tim? Also, quarantine only for like a few hours? Allowing people back into the building when the worms aren't cleared out (why is that not under quarantine???) Kind of broke the immersion a bit for me there.

Second, wow, I read so many not getting what happened to Sasha in MAG 39, am I like the super minority of a few who knew exactly what happened in that moment? Like I said, we got instructions to check up on the table again, twice! Sasha then finds that table! She sees someone! She screams! And then suddenly her voice is all wonky with that echo-effect. I texted my sister when I finished S1 and went "So, Sasha got replaced" and she was like "Oh, did you listen to the credits?" and I was "Only a bit (didn't get to the Not!Sasha part of the credits), but it was obvious what happened?" My sister also didn't get it and had the revelation together with Jon in MAG 76^^

Okay, that out of the way, lets get to it!

ELIAS "I do apologise that it took me quite so long to figure out how to actually work the system. If I’d been quicker…" - Yeah sure…

JON "Tens of thousands of… things without mouths screaming as one." ELIAS "Yes. Horrible sound… Anyway!" - insert Jeremy Clarkson's Oh no! Anyway!-meme here

ELIAS "On the 15th of March last year" - March. May. Those months sound so similar! XD

Tim sounds sooo tired and done…

TIM "I spotted the tape recorder lying on the ground, and went over to, er, see if it was damaged" - haha, that "er" XD

TIM "I have a theory, actually. I think they weren’t ready to attack when you found the tunnels. It’s like, something in the Institute slows them down, and makes them, um, heh, sluggish." - Good job! The Corruption doesn't like the Eye, doesn't like to be seen. Could be used to cure the infection. Also, yes, we know they weren't ready. That's why the Web had to help^^

TIM "And that noise they make? That squirming sound? They don’t make it when they’re in the tunnels." - Already our first clue that whatever rules the Institute has no power over the tunnels.

TIM "They were sort of… wrapping around each other, like they were trying to form a… thing, like a structure or something. A ring. / …it looked like they were trying to make a doorway." - A… WORMHOLE! Badum Tss Our first ritual! First time around I found this sooo interesting and I was kinda bummed out that it was only mentioned once when Jon went exploring. After becoming aware of the rituals it finally clicked sometime later when I remembered Worm Stargate.

Not!Sasha sounds soooo wooden! Those brief answers. Assumptions when reciting events that still happened to the real Sasha. How she repeats what Jon says. I immediately was "Oh nooo… That's gonna be dangerous."

Static during Sasha's statement btw?

JON "Well, it’s thanks to you, to be honest. If you hadn’t met that ‘Michael’ thing…" - So here's what I totally got wrong about that episode. When I listened the first time I mixed up the "thanks to" and interpreted that sentence as "thanks to Michael", like Michael helped them directly in the Prentiss attack? Of course, it's meant because of the CO2 as weakness which they only discovered because Sasha went with Michael to find Timothy Hodge.

On second thought, the way Not!Sasha speaks is actually hilarious. Reminds me of the "Talking to you like a normal human being".

NOT!SASHA "He was looking at me strangely, but we were both quiet." - Not!Sasha actually a bit compelled here? Why would she tell Jon this?

JON "Are you feeling alright? You seem a bit out of it." - Ahhhh, deep down he Knows…

YES, finally Martin/Jon interaction again. I think, here during the S1 finale I started to ship them. Their energy was just soooo obvious! A friend of mine started listening not long ago and his first question to me, after he was done with S1 was: "So…. Are Martin and Jon a thing? (Because if yes, I'm on board!)"

MARTIN "Sorry." - Hnnnggg, I wanna hug him!

JON "Ah, it’s fine. I just…" - He's so tired and in pain but he's still soft…

MARTIN "No, I mean… I'm sorry I left you." - crying and tightly squeezing Martin

JON "Oh, Martin" - I'm dying here…

JON "I know." - Hnnggg, the way he says that… / "It’s fine, Martin. Everybody’s… [sigh] Everyone’s fine…" - dying even more

MARTIN "I think it must be the old Millbank Prison, like Tim was saying before." - Ok, back to business. First time name drop Millbank Prison!

MARTIN "I hadn’t seen any worms for a few minutes, and weirdly enough that actually started to worry me, like, if there weren’t any worms then I’d gone too far from the Institute. And there was more dust in those corridors too, and dead rats, even some discarded wine bottles. At one point there was an empty packet of mint imperials" - So Martin stumbled into Leitner's territory? Leitner apparently was far enough into the tunnels that he never encountered any worms. This was touched on again in MAG 152.

MARTIN "She was shot! Three times, that I could see. Three shots to the chest." - RIP Alex. His biggest mistake.

JON "I know that now, some deeper mystery. I think Gertrude Robinson found it, and I think that is why they killed her." - He's not wrong?

Yaaaay, S1 done and I managed to listen and send in my thoughts every single day! I'm excited to see how far I can push this^^ Some stats: MAG 1 - 19 took me 11 months!!!! MAG 20 bis 40 took me 20 days (finished S1 and started S2 on August 19th 2021)

What an ending to a first season!

[somuchbetterthanthat]

MAG 161 - Dwelling

Oh this one is good. This one is good. So many little things to latch upon. This one is such a SLAP IN THE FACE in the best possible way. Going to try and list everything I love about it -

The birthday scene: chillingly heartbreaking. The perfect way to give us the same grief Jon has for the world, for the past, all his regrets. Offers such a different vision of S1 that S4 Jon had muttered about - colleagues that appreciate each other and jokes with each other (with a hint of Martin stuttering and being put on the spot in a bad way even if it seems joking. I feel like this gives credits to Tim and Sasha being good people capable of being a little thoughlessly mean without realizing at all, which I think makes them relatable and human and I like that). Obviously I love the Jonelias of it all, especially Jon going from stammering at Elias choosing to stay to them possibly smirking at each other over the cake ("he wished for some peace and quiet" / "was that really that obvious?")

Martin's way of dealing VS Jon's way of dealing with things. Martin feeling trapped in inaction, Jon hiding in his own grief cause it's safer than the joy he feels out in the Horrors. Jon pressing on the button for Gertrude's tape like pressing on a bruise, again and again, while Martin wants to move on from it already. Also the hint that... Jon might try to explain how it is, but Martin genuinely doesn't get it, cannot get it. Whether because it's cause a God is weeping in front of him, or because he himself has trouble with empathy in general or a mix of both is interesting either way.

Martin trying to tell Jon it wasn't his fault, and that they've argued about it already cause Jon is not willing to hear it yet: GOOD. Set a good point for Jon understanding he really was a victim here. He was used. He's not guilty of anything.

"Do you really think so?" Jon literally not being able to imagine the world differently anymore, it's too loud; he's at the bottom pit of despair, but Martin saying there might be a solution is enough to give him such a heartbreaking tremor in his voice of hope. He wants Martin to give him hope because he cannot produce his own anymore.

"Some of us didn't get their feelings cut off before the end of the world" / "That's not fair". Guys. You know how much I love this exchange. I feel this was DEFINITELY not explored enough afterwards, but i'm keeping it SO CLOSE TO MY HEART; this, this i would do so much with in my own version.

I like how practical Gertrude sounds about all she says. She goes straight to the point, befitting her character. I like the fact she thought Sasha would be next, that she'd gathered the Archivist might be necessary for a ritual but she didn't understand/realize the specifics of it, only that Elias would push for it. ALSO AGNES MENTION AGNES MENTION AGNES MENTION. etc.

Now-- I still don't get why the web or Elias, but I thought Annabelle was the one to have sent the tapes really, would care to send specific tapes for the fire thing. Like yes, it's foreshadowing for us, but are we to assume it's just for us and was neither intended to be picked up by Jon or Martin? Unless, of course, Annabelle might have a specific idea in mind with the fire plan. Specifically Annabelle, not the Web. Putting a pin on that idea.

All in all though, this episode was SUCH a good introduction to the season. I still love it very very very much. It's a perfect amount of angst with a hint that something else might be possible beyond that cabin and the past.

[journalofimprobablethings]

I've been seeing a lot of quality pre-Unknowing MarTim content going around recently apparently it inspired me to make something...really Sad. So anyway, here you go: -- [OUTSIDE THE MAGNUS INSTITUTE. 5TH AUGUST 2017.]

[CLICK]

(The sounds of a Chelsea street, early morning. An occasional car passes, but mostly it's quiet. The sound of a door shutting, then footsteps moving closer.)

MARTIN All set then?

TIM Yep. Tonner is way overprotective of the explosives, but we've got everything.

MARTIN Good. Good.

(A pause.)

Is Jon--?

TIM (dismissive) Still inside somewhere. If he doesn't come out soon we're leaving without him.

MARTIN ... Right. Okay.

(A bus goes past.)

Tim, don't you think it would be a good idea if you--

TIM Don't, Martin.

MARTIN I just think--with everything that's happening--that might happen--if you and he just talked--

TIM Martin! Just--just leave it. Okay?

(he takes a deep breath)

Some things...some things just can't be fixed.

MARTIN I...

(He stops. He clearly wants to say more. Then he sighs, resigned.)

Okay.

TIM What about you, then?

MARTIN What about me?

TIM Have you and Jon...talked?

MARTIN (flustered) There's nothing to talk about.

TIM Really? Nothing?

MARTIN No! And-and even if there were, it's not like Jon--it's not like he would--

TIM Are you sure about that?

MARTIN (exasperated) I mean--that doesn't--why do you even care? You hate him.

TIM (suddenly serious) But I don't hate you.

(A pause. More cars pass by.)

MARTIN Oh.

TIM I want you to be happy, Martin. That's all.

MARTIN Tim, I--

(The doors open again, more footsteps approach.)

BASIRA Come on, then, Stoker. Jon's on his way.

TIM Coming.

(Daisy and Basira's footsteps fade as they head to the car.)

TIM I guess it's time.

MARTIN Yeah. I guess so.

(He takes a ragged breath.)

I'll see you when you get back, yeah?

TIM Martin...

MARTIN (fighting tears) We could do lunch. There's that new cafe that just opened up--

TIM Martin, I...

I don't like making promises I can't keep.

MARTIN (the battle against tears is lost) Please, Tim. Can you just say it?

(beat)

TIM (quietly, sincerely) I'll see you when we get back.

(Fabric rustles. A single, muffled sob from Martin. Then they step back.)

TIM Be careful. With Elias. And...look after yourself, okay?

MARTIN (trying to compose himself) You, too.

BASIRA (in the distance) Stoker!

(Tim ignores her. Instead he leans in and gives Martin a single, brief kiss.)

TIM (soft) Bye, Martin.

(Martin sobs again.)

MARTIN Bye, Tim.

(Tim's footsteps move away and we're left with only Martin's uneven breathing, trying to hold back sobs.

The front doors open once more. Footsteps.)

ARCHIVIST (concerned) Martin?

[CLICK]

[bluejayblueskies]

i'm doing a tma relisten and i'm thinking about this bit again from mag 102:

MELANIE

…

Alright.

[METAL CLINKS ON TABLE]

We’ll try it your way. But whatever your way actually is, you’d better figure it out fast. Because it is your fault that I’m here. Fix it, or get out of the way!

[DOOR SLAMS SHUT]

because when tim says something along the lines of this, i can understand where the logic comes from--jon requested he come to the archives, and thus there is a direct link that can be used to point to jon and say 'this is your fault.' but with melanie, it doesn't seem to be based on any sort of actual culpability on jon's part. the first time melanie came to the institute, it was to make her statement--a choice that she made. her continued investigations into war ghosts and eventual trip to india where she go shot were also her choice. though jon did help her get access to the library, it was because she asked--he didn't force her or even ask her to keep coming back to the institute.

and when she decided to take the job at the institute, jon wasn't even there--he was currently on the run and hiding at georgie's. martin tried to tell her not to, but she took the job anyway. and when she meets with jon after, this exchange happens:

ARCHIVIST

Should have thought about that before you joined the Institute.

MELANIE

What is the deal with you people? Look, I know it’s kind of a boys’ club, but you all really hate me being there, don’t you?

ARCHIVIST

What? No, I –

There’s a lot of very messed up things going on there and, I… I mean, we were already tied to them, but you I just… You didn’t need to get involved.

MELANIE

I really don’t think that’s true.

…

jon explicitly states that he didn't want melanie to get involved in all this. additionally, melanie responds to this by saying that that's not true--that she had to get involved. there are many ways to interpret this line, but i've always seen it as melanie needing to know what happened to her (a very eye-like trait tbh) and following that thread even when it became clear that it might hurt (melanie continues to investigate even after being slashed with a scalpel in the train graveyard). jon's only role was providing help when asked and hearing her stories--he didn't invite her to work at the institute, and he didn't draw her into the world of the supernatural. she did that herself.

so, to me, this line kinda comes out of nowhere and has no real basis in jon's actual actions or culpability. it seems to me to come instead from a place of anger and frustration and the desire to find someone else to blame for a terrible situation other than yourself. this isn't meant to bash melanie at all--i think that's a very human reaction, especially because melanie seems to me like the kind of person who always feels like she has to prove herself and claw her way to places of respect, and that same kind of personality can have a hard time admitting mistakes or that they've gone down the wrong path. the problem arises when we (and the characters) take melanie's statement at face value and stack her problems on top of the 'jon's fault' pile.

[captaincravatthecapricious]

Sick Fic I Didn't Bother To Name

Post canon, Tim comes over to look after Jon while Martin is at work.

cw dizziness, fever, nausea, fainting, mentions of vomit, food mention I guess. Let me know if I should add more warnings, this is just a fluffy little sick fic it might have some light angst I don't really remember.

The thought of moving makes Jon want to cry.  All his muscles hurt.  The worm scars aching like the day they were made.  He’s just going to lie there here until someone makes him move.  

Which will probably be soon, because he’s positive Martin has asked Tim to come over and …water him?  

No, in all seriousness, he can’t exactly recall what Martin told him this morning as he was leaving for work.  Something about not letting him go in to work, no working online, no checking his email, something something Tim?  Not that Jon is feeling well enough to get his computer.  Let alone let it assault his over-sensitive eyes with the harsh light of the screen.  Which is unfortunate, because he thinks Martin probably left him a text about whatever he missed this morning.  

He really hopes Martin thought to email his students.  He’ll try to remember to ask Tim to check.  If Tim’s even coming.  

Christ, he’s not thinking straight.  

He thinks Tim is coming, but if not, he’s got paracetamol, his inhaler, water, a thermos of tea, some saltines, a little cup of applesauce, excedrin, a thermometer (Jon isn’t sure why Martin left him that, there is no way he’s going to use that he just… really really hates thermometers, they mean he’s ill and that meant no school and staying quiet alone and miserable in his room so ill to open a book if he was ill enough for his grandmother to notice, it was less bad when he got to go to the school nurse.  Actually got some medicine sometimes, but they often sent him home too, and then his grandmother was cross that she had to pick him up.  In any case, no thermometer if he has a say in it.), bin, tissues (again Jon isn’t sure why, he’s not particularly congested, but Martin is Martin and is taking care of him even when he’s at work which makes Jon feel warm to his core, not from the fever that he knows he’s running.), lucozade, and his cane.  Everything in easy reach.  

He should probably take some medicine, but even reaching that far feels like too much.  He’s just going to lay here, on top of his blanket pile until the fever chills take him back and he has to burrow under them again.  It’s been the challenge all night to find a comfortable enough temperature to sleep.  A challenge he’s mostly been losing.  Leaving him feeling gritty and heavy and with a headache.  

He just wants to sleep.  Drifting in and out of it with frantic almost laziness.  Rolling heat to biting cold.  He wishes he could get his laptop, willing to bear the brightness if only to get a distraction from his discomfort.  

He’s just managed a trip to and from the loo, when Tim arrives.  Jon’s collapsed back on his blanket nest on the couch when Tim calls out before keys jangle in the lock.  Jon’s too busy trying not to pass out to make out words.  He’s impressed he managed the loo without a surprise nap.  But, he can make no promises that he won’t pass out now.  

He comes to with the inside of Tim’s wrist pressed to his forehead.  With a quiet gasp.  And then a frankly embarrassing sound as he fully absorbs how wonderfully cool Tim’s wrist is.  

“Hey there, bud.  Hate to ask, but did you just pass out from just lying there, because if so, I’m gonna have to be a little worried?”  

Jon tries to focus on Tim.  “No… no got back from the toilet and surprise nap.”  

Tim looks relieved.  

Jon is just relieved that he isn’t alone.  Where he can too easily spiral.  Being alone and miserable leaves it too easy to slip into memories.  Especially with the impressive fever that he’s got to be running, if the agonizing walk from couch to loo and loo to couch is any indication.  His muscles are shaking from fatigue from that pathetically short walk, and he’d had a death grip on his cane and the wall to keep upright.  Christ, he’s really not well.  

Tim makes a big show of wiping his brow and breathing a sigh of relief.  “Hey think you can give me some of the couch?”  

Jon would love to, he nods, but consciousness flutters when he tries to sit up.  Losing his vision to the dizziness again.  Tim catches him against his chest, and gently holds him steady as he slips onto the couch, positioning Jon as best he can.  Jon snuggling against Tim’s hooded jumper.  

He still can’t believe he’s allowed to do this.  A few years ago, Tim didn’t want to be in the same room with him.  But …here he is.  Here when it counts.  (Although Martin would probably tell him that it counted earlier too, that Tim should have been by his side, a thought that he’s been trying to work through in therapy, and Jon is working through in reverse in his own.)  Jon could cry.  Might cry.  Fever’s high enough that he probably will.  

“Got a bit worried when you didn’t answer any texts.  Wanted to see if you needed anything.”  

“‘m sorry.”  Jon really hadn’t thought to check his phone, and even if he had, well not as if he’d been up to reading anything on a tiny bright screen.  Even the thought of doing so makes his head hurt more than it already does.  

“Don’t worry about it.  Have you taken some meds recently?”  

Jon has no idea what time it is, or when Martin left.  Can’t even keep track of how light it is outside with the blinds drawn and his face shoved into Tim.  “Had some before Martin left?”  

Tim’s got an arm around Jon.  He’s rubbing his back.  And there is a tightness in Jon’s chest.  It’s been years.  It’s been years.  It’s been years, and he still can’t believe that Tim is really back and here and cares.  Tim could hold him every moment he can stand touch, and it wouldn’t be enough.  Jon needs.  He needs the attention and care, and just needs his friend in general.  And if he didn’t feel so sick, he could happily live in this moment forever.  If he wasn’t dizzy and feverish and dreadfully queasy.  

Tim’s hand stills, and a shuddery breath escapes Jon with the absence.  

Tim’s heart lurches.  He goes back to rubbing Jon’s back.  He’s pretty sure this is Jon crying and not Jon about to puke.  Jon’s decent at letting him know these sorts of things, or at least is consistent in his physical cues.  “Hey, bud.  Just gonna get you some fever reducers, it’s about time, I think.  Marto texted me when he was leaving.  Sorry about leaving you alone for a bit.  Had to finish up my shift and grab a shower and grab some soup making stuff and some DVDs, in case you wanna watch anything.  But, I’m not going anywhere.  You’re stuck with me.”  

Jon huffs a watery laugh.  Or maybe it’s a sob.  it’s damp, but that’s okay.   

“You just gotta sit up a little.  Wow, Marto really stocked up the coffee table for you, huh.  He loves you a lot.  Also, he worries.”  

Tim tilts Jon slightly more upright, and wipes away the tears, before handing him some medicine and some lucozade.  Martin said Jon had been sick earlier (probably more due to the POTS flaring up, Martin hoped, and Tim also hopes.  Not that a POTS flare up is a good thing, but if he can keep Jon full of salt and keep his feet up, he shouldn’t have any trouble keeping fluids in him, which makes things easier), in any case, the electrolytes are probably a good idea.  

“You thrown up recently?”  

Signs ‘no.’  That’s good.  

“Wanna try some crackers?”  

Jon shrugs.  

“If you’re up to it later, I can make us some soup, ‘kay?”  

Jon nods, looking …faded.  Probably best to get his legs up and him cozy.  

“Mind if I get you in a more comfy position?”  

Jon doesn’t answer, just blinks dizzily, so Tim carefully gets up, and props Jon’s feet up with the decorative pillows that he knows Jon thinks are stupid, and tucks a couple of the blankets around Jon.  Not too many, not wanting Jon’s temperature to climb any higher, but he can’t just watch Jon shiver.  Hurts too much to watch.  

Reminds him of all the times he ignored him.  All the times he hasn’t been there.  And there’ve been many.  He should have been there.  

So he’ll risk a couple blankets, even though Jon is burning away.  Hopefully the fever reducers do their job soon.  He does, however get a damp flannel for Jon’s forehead while he’s up.  

He thinks Jon might be unconscious again, but he won’t worry about that unless he doesn’t come around in a minute or so.  

Jon’s awake again by the time Tim has himself settled back on the couch.  

“How about some TV?  You up for that?”  

Jon just whines.  

“We’ll start some, and if it makes it worse, we’ll turn it off, okay?”  

Jon wiggles a little, getting comfortable.  And Tim chuckles.  

“Okay, bud.  You get some rest, okay?  I’ll make you some soup later, if you’re up for it.  I got ingredients for your favorite.  Or smoothies, if that sounds better.”  

Jon makes a sound of complaint as Tim as started to talk over the intro music.  

Tim chuckles.  “Alright, alright.  Just let me know if you get hungry.  Martin will be home tonight, until then, you’re stuck with me.”  

Jon falls asleep within an episode with Tim gently carding his fingers through his hair.  

[smallhorizons]

SUPER LATE, but if there's any of these you haven't done for the WIP game i would love to know more 👀 "to eat well - sequel" || "TMA S1 - Token Straight" || "MAG what if dating??" || "TMA Self Indulgent Time Travel AU"

Hello hello! Thanks for sending me WIPs, and sorry for the delay!

I've answered TMA Self Indulgent Time Travel AU here and MAG what if dating?? here, so I'll focus on the other two.

to eat well - sequel

As the imaginative title suggests, this fic is a sequel to to eat well, in which Jon and Martin's developing relationship over the course of S1-4 is explored through food and the preparation thereof. When I outlined to eat well, my intention was to end the fic with a final scene of Jon and Martin cooking one of the recipes Jon prepared for Martin together in the safehouse. However, this fic was for an exchange, and I was working on the fic at the absolute last minute, and there ended up being a natural stopping point before they could cook together.

After posting to eat well, I almost immediately outlined a sequel based on my first experience making kibbeh, in which I had to keep substituting ingredients since the store near my parents didn't have several of the more traditional ingredients the recipe I had called for. Cue me texting my friend whose family recipe it was frantically, asking what substitutions would be okay. I'd really like to return to the fic, because, well. It's fun, and Syrian Jon holds a special place in my heart.

Here's the start of the fic:

“Well,” Martin says, already beginning to unpack the groceries before Jon even manages to fully detangle himself from the blankes, “they didn’t have lamb, so I got beef instead.”

“That’s fine,” Jon says, eyes tracking the array of spices Martin is lining up on the counter. “Many recipes call for either.”

“And, um, they didn’t have harissa, but I asked one of the grocers and she looked it up, and apparently sriracha is an okay substitute, and you can add some of the extra spices in yourself? So, I got that, too, and the spices that I could find.”

“Well, that’s--that’s not ideal, but we’ll manage,” Jon says. He frowns at the sriracha that Martin clunks onto the counter.

“And, well, they didn’t have bulghur wheat, and I couldn’t find the grocer again to ask, so I got, um, well. Couscous and quinoa? Maybe one of those will work?”

Jon blinks at the duo of bags, feeling vaguely unsettled. “Ah,” he says. “That’s. Hm. I’m--I’m honestly not sure if we’re making kibbeh at this point.”

More below the cut!

TMA S1 - Token Straight

This fic was born out of conversations with @dathen in which we both were peeved by how common it was in fic for the Archives crowd to assume Jon was straight, and how it seemed like it was becoming a trope for them to (affectionately?) bully him into coming out to them. The fic was gonna address how unfair it was to make assumptions about a person's sexuality to them in a way that essentially forced them to come out, the ace (and aro) fears of not being "queer enough", and complicated conversations about how people choose or choose not to be "out".

I have the beginning written and the emotional beats of the rest of the fic outlined, but I sort of lost steam after my initial annoyance faded XD

Here's an excerpt:

“Hey, boss!” Tim said, leaning back in his chair and grinning at a sour-faced Jon.

Jon scowled at him. “Tim. What are you wasting time on now?”

“Oh, we were just talking about how you’re the token straight in the office,” Tim said easily. Martin sputtered, feeling his face go hot.

“Tim, why would you say that?” Martin hissed as, exasperated, Sasha said, “Really, Tim?”

Tim shrugged. “Well, it’s the truth, isn’t it? Tell me, Jon, how’s it feel to be the only straight dude in a department full of queers?”

“I’m sorry,” Jon said after a brief pause, “what?”

“You know.” Tim waved his hand dismissively. “I’m bi. Sasha’s bi. Martin is gay as the day as long. None of us is particularly subtle about it. And you’re ...” He gestured. “You know. The only one who’s straight. Our token straight representation.”

“I know what a token straight is,” Jon said, clearly exasperated. “I’m just curious to know what on earth gave you the impression that I’m heterosexual.”

[marlasomething]

Jonmartin Week 2022 Day 7: My Own With You Each Night

Hello there!

As said in previous one-shots of this week, I cannot see a "challenge" and let it go so...Jonmartin week 2022 here we are! The idea is "forcing myself" to write piece of under 1K in different universes, let's see how it goes...and today it didn't go (ALMOST). Hope @jonmartinweek like the penultimate stament (pun intended) of this collection.

This was written for the prompt of day 7: Growing Old Together/Forehead kisses and it's another alternative post Mag200, a bit less dark than my previous ones (if you don't count the fact that a Jon and a Martin's conciences had been murdered in the process of making this fic, that is).

Also: I will try to end all one-shots with the line of the finale "One way or another. Together". Only half this time...sorry

As usual, do please forgive my quick tipper and non-native speaker mistakes,

Marla

Allons-y!

AO3 version!

Whole week Masterlist!

Apparently, Jon’s body could still feel pain.

That was all his brain (if he still had a brain, that was) could think about as Martin’s knife carved his way through his body, ripping apart the few flesh that remained completely human, provoking a slow, absolutely vivid death to The Archivist.

He would have liked to say, even if only to himself, that in his last minutes the other man’s lips against his were still in his mind, but it just hurt too much.

Physical pain overcame his love for Martin the way he always believed it would never have.

The only thing he was able to process as life finally left him was the exact shape of the blade that was cutting his connection to that pantomime of lie he had entangled himself in.

As he died, he heard a scream from a voice that sounded almost like his, just…more at ease with existence (if that made any sense), pledging for dear life.

Then, he woke up.

He was so socked at the mere fact of being able to breath (he realised, he hadn’t actually properly breath real air in months) that he didn’t even manage to let a gasp scape his mouth.

The first thing he noticed were his hands, they weren’t as terribly bony as they had eventually become, and the swelling due to exposure to whatever Not-Even-The-Beholding-Knows-What had been in the ambiance after the world changed was gone; just regular bit too long fingers, as they had always been beforehand.

Without any remarkable scar on them; though there were so many paper cuts he couldn’t but recall his college years.

Then, he noticed another thing, underneath the hands, where the bed covers were…he couldn’t see the patterns correctly.

His lack of vision was back.

He had never been so glad of needing glasses (actually, never before had he been glad of this fact). Out of a mechanical instinct he didn’t even know where it came from (he DIDN’T KNOW IT; he could have screamed of pure glee, hadn’t he been so shocked), he reached the bed table and picked up his glasses (he guessed they were his, at least) and forced himself up with a pair of legs that weren’t really his (they looked like the legs of someone who run, not on a daily basis, but quite regularly; that just wasn’t him, he had sometimes lost a bus just because he hadn’t wanted to run, for Lord’s shake!).

It was Tim’s idea, to help me with some stuff I was going through, as a counter-measure, and it stuck. Plus, I finally got to spend time again with Gerry since work always keeps us so busy…

He froze in place.

That weren’t his memories and yet…

…Gerry, friend from childhood, raised by his father after his mother had turned out to be an abusive monster (to no one’s surprise).

…Tim, friend and co-worker at the bookshop/detective agency (because why have a normal life?!) with Sasha and…he turned.

“Martin” he couldn’t have chosen a better word to premiere his new vocal cords.

A figure grunted from underneath the bed sheets and finally turned.

He had forgotten how the other man had looked without an absolutely not-taken-care-of beard. Or without never ending eye bags, or consumed features.

Or, for instance, non-white hair.

Please, be my Martin; he praised in silence, as much as he knew it was selfish, almost cruel, to want this man to have been substituted by his partner.

But, for once, the Universe(s) smiled at him.

He would recognise that tone anywhere.

“Jon” he run towards him (more, he stumbled to the bed without any short of synchronization). “You are alive…I am just…I ki…”

“It didn’t stick, apparently” in a similar manner as he had done before, the other man put on his glasses (another bizarre thing to witness; him wearing glasses that were in perfect state) and smiled widely at him.

“That T-shirt looks more mine than yours” he grinned at him, feeling confident about his own not precisely impressive physiognomy for once in his existence (saying, even thinking in that sentence with the word live instead of existence felt almost like a joke at that point).

“Want it back?”

It had been hours until either of them lowered themselves to pick up the phone to an extremely upset Sasha.

“We were crazy worried! I know you two have the day off but…we’ve been calling. A lot” it was quite strange to actually recognise her voice at first sight.

Just as it was heart-warming.

“Yes, uh…sorry Sash; Jon had a weird day” he received a small punch on the side.

She sounded suddenly worried.

“Is he…again…you know…do you guys need help?” by Jon’s face, Martin deduced whatever Sasha was talking about (he hadn’t had a moment yet to look up his new memories, since he had spent a whole morning just holding tight the other man and speaking softly of nothing and everything at the same time) was something Jon had suffered too in their world and just, never spoke about.

A bit late to be surprised by this sort of revelation, as much as it saddened him.

“Um…no, just…you know, silly morning.”

“Ok, fine, right. Anyways, we were calling because we were going to have dinner to Gerry and Michael’s, if you wanted to…you know…”

“Oh, better not today, sorry. We really…well, you know.”

“I know, newly wed and all that jazz. See you tomorrow, then.”

“Bye Sasha!” Jon screamed, so he could be heard perfectly clear at the other side of the sound.

“Goodbye Sasha” as he hung up, he gave the tinier man a kiss in the forehead.

“I cannot believe we missed our own wedding.”

“Weddings are overrated, is the day to day that really counts…the…” he took a deep breath. Apparently, it was Jon’s new biggest hobby: tasting oxygen. “Getting old together, we are going to get old together. If we don’t kill each other in the process…ok, a bit too soon, sorry.”

He shut up and just went back to just bury his face on Martin’s shoulder and the other man smiled. He knew there was something they hadn’t brought up, how, if the two of them were here… they were too, likely closer and more powerful than they could actually imagine.

And yet…

…he looked at the man slowly falling asleep again against him.

They were ok, they had friends and a whole life to get old and grey and, eventually, die. Yes, it was true; perhaps, their own past would catch up, and they were end up again trapped by the horrible world they had just scape; but they would get through it.

One way or another.

Together.

[janekfan]

aah i just sent this prompt but tumblr told me it didn't send so if it sent twice ignore this!! so prompt: how about early s2, where jon is pulling away a bit but the others are concerned about it more than angry, getting a horrific migraine. like "has to leave a team meeting early" horrific. and the others know he wants to be left alone and try to respect it, but eventually they can't just ignore it anymore. <3 if you don't like this i can try again!

Oof, migraines. Amiright??? This is based on a personal experience of mine I had in college :D

My whole floor thought I was dying and almost dragged me to the hospital.

Thank you @taylortut as always for giving me such great ideas! :D

Looking back, Jon felt incredibly foolish.

Insisting that he could persist through his day without taking medication for headaches when it resulted in the same outcome every time was the very definition of insanity.

But, in his flimsy defense, they never started out badly and he got so caught up in his work that by the time he realized what was happening, it was far, far too late to do anything but suffer it out until it ended. Which is how he found himself here, now, nearly completely blind in his right eye while Elias droned on about workplace safety and considering recent events it seemed laughably mundane because yes, back strain from lifting incorrectly certainly outweighed a sentient worm queen trying to devour your assistants.

Filled with a desperate desire to rub away the disorientating blind spot, Jon let his focus slip over his employees.

Tim: bored. Not doing anything to hide it and Jon supposed he was at fault for that too, because he was certainly not paying Elias any mind.

Sasha: attentive. Most likely thinking of something else entirely while she nodded along to the lecture notes at the appropriate places.

Martin: engrossed. Despite his suspicions, mostly due to the constant checking in with him about how he was feeling, and really, maybe that was on him because maybe that’s what coworkers did after bravely surviving an onslaught of supernatural entities together. Despite them, he found it. Pleasant? Pleasant. That he would commit the effort to pay such careful attention.

Jon: quickly realizing this meeting would not be finished by the time the majority of the pain struck him like an oncoming lorry. By his estimations, based on when he first noticed the aura as a funny spot in his peripheral he tried to see around, he had roughly three minutes left.

Elias continued to endlessly intone while the buzzing lights continued to beat down on him and Jon fought against closing his eyes against them both and their ceaseless stabbing. Two minutes. Probably less and the anxiety which accompanied knowing almost exactly when he was about to be incapacitated rose like a tide and threatened to drag him under. Jon began to shake minutely as the agony manifested like an icepick in the back of his head and spread its grasping, greedy fingers. It took the rest of his very limited restraint to stay silent and keep breathing; shallow and slow, controlled and careful because the nausea was beginning to set in and throwing up during a staff meeting was at the very least, unwise.

But oh he needed somewhere silent, somewhere he could hide in total darkness and not move until he was able to force himself to sleep, to sleep, to sleep because that was the only way he’d found to make it through to the other side.

“Jon?” He was standing, blinking unevenly, fighting with himself and his desire to shield his face with both hands. The sound of his name was too loud. So loud and the murmuring of the others in the room created a beautiful sensory nightmare and if they knew his head was about to split open would they really be speaking so loudly? Doubtful. Martin. Martin wouldn’t at least.

“I’m leaving.” Inadequate, but he didn’t have the wherewithal to elaborate even if in his right mind he wouldn’t. And this wasn’t even the worst of it.

Each step was a rung up the ladder of agony and he’d taken to trailing a hand against the wall, not trusting his quickly dwindling balance and equilibrium. Rudely, without his express permission, a sob snuck past his clenched teeth and he just had to make it down the stairs, into the archives. Into the dark. The cot was still in document storage and the room would be dim and quiet and he could sleep. Please, let him sleep. Trembling so badly he could barely work the door handle, desperation doing its level best to claw its way through his ribcage, Jon began to panic. Gently, gently, gently, he closed the door behind him, trying to breathe because not breathing would make it worse. The buttons at his throat were so tight, the vest, while comfortable this morning was strangling him and he fought his way out of it like a tiger before all but tearing open his collar.

Sh. Shh. You’re alright. Shaky. Ill. But alright and you will be alright. Jon collapsed to the cot, sighing at the momentary relief laying down provided but there was still so much light and it was like glass behind his eyes even though they were closed as tightly as he dared close them. The blanket that had been left behind was very contradictory, too much and not nearly enough, and when it brushed the bare skin of his arms it felt like sandpaper but he wanted more of it. More weight so he could relax without feeling as though he was going to drift away because who even knew which way was up anymore? If he hadn’t left the meeting, he could’ve asked.

Don’t cry. Do. Not. Jonathan Sims. It made it worse, so much worse so he kept his tears trapped behind a false calm. Each time he’d thought he would die from one of these or at the very least prefer it and each time he woke the next day groggy and sore and exhausted, useless for anything except more sleep. He dropped his glasses on the floor, hugged his middle with one arm and threw the other over his face.

Please, please, please.

Just go to sleep.

“I’ll thank the rest of you for continued attention.” Martin nodded absently, worried. Jon didn’t just walk out of meetings. And he’d been so pale, rubbing his temple and wincing. A bad headache? He got those sometimes.

Didn’t like to be bothered about them either.

He caught Tim staring at him over the table, done with his paperclip sculpture for now it seemed, and he nodded just slightly toward the door with a questioning look. Martin just shrugged discreetly, now too distracted to pay attention to whatever Elias deemed important enough to waste their time with after an attack on the archives. Needless to say, the rest of the hour passed excruciatingly slow and as soon as they were released, Martin headed straight for Jon’s office, momentarily confused when it was empty.

“Not there?” Martin shook his head and Tim frowned in concern. “The cot? Maybe he needed a lie down?”

“You’re probably right.”

“Still strange.” He nodded in agreement, already headed to check, knocking quietly on the worn wood.

“Jon?” Martin swore he heard something suspiciously like a whimper before his voice floated through the door.

“Yes, Martin?” It was strange, off, wavery? The tail end of a gasping breath.

“You just, you left in such a hurry.” He’d give anything to open the door and see for himself. “Are you feeling well?”

“I’m. Yes, Martin, I’m, I’m alright.” Jon was many things, a good liar was not one of them, but he was the type to lick his wounds alone, preferring not to show any vulnerability and Martin would respect it. “Bit tired.”

“Okay, I’ll. Check on you in a bit then. Bring some tea.”

“Yes, alright.” Despite his worry, Martin smiled at the tiny familiar spark of frustration.

When Martin spoke his voice seemed to echo in the hollows of Jon’s bones, reverberating into his head and only exacerbating the throbbing pain, not even really aware of what he was saying, just trying to get him to go away so he could be as still as possible in silence. The more he moved, the more it felt like his stomach was trying to turn inside out and the fear of moving, of being sick, of causing himself more hurt, made tears sting at the corners of his eyes, made him itch where they slipped down his face.

If it would just stop for a moment. If he could just fall asleep. Calm down. Stand to have anything against his skin right now.

He wanted to be alone and not be alone. Wanted Martin or Tim or Sasha to, to, he didn’t know, just wanted. The strange disconnect from his physical body was maddening, confusing, and he wanted so badly for it to please stop.

When Martin looked up, Sasha was so close to his desk he startled. He hadn’t heard her but she looked worried.

“I don’t think Jon is feeling very well.”

“I don’t think so either.”

“He’s been in there all day.” Tim joined them. “Maybe we should check on him again?” Martin looked at the clock. It had been hours since he’d talked to him and he had yet to reappear.

“You’re probably right.” This time, it was definitely a hurting sound and Martin decided it was for Jon’s own good to let himself in. He’d only just recovered from Prentiss, what if the stress had made him ill? “Jon?” He was curled into himself on the cot, clothes in disarray, vest discarded and half the blanket piled atop his face. When the door closed, Jon clapped his hand over his ear, the other tangled into his button down so tight Martin was afraid he’d pop the buttons. “You’re shaking.”

“Mmartin…” the barest exhale, pleading. “S’loud…so...so loud…”

“Okay, okay, what’s wrong?” He knelt beside him, resting his hand over Jon’s. “How can I help?”

“Jus’...jus’ need t’sleep.” Shuddering, his breath caught, was released, uneven, fast, gasping. “Can’t.” He decided at that moment that sound should never come from Jon again, not if ever he could help it and the fingers that had been digging into his greying hair were now clutching Martin’s.

“Okay. I’m coming back.” Jon seemed to collapse inward like a star and it was hard to leave him but he’d seen migraines before and it had been hours since what he guessed was the onset. “Tim, do you have any paracetamol?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Jon’s not well, of course.”

“Figures.”

“This time I really think it wasn’t his fault. These things sometimes come on suddenly.” Tim grumbled, digging through his desk and heading with Martin to the breakroom for some water, waiting while he brewed a strong black tea.

“He gets a pass. One time, Martin. This one time.” While the tea cooled Martin retrieved a few cloths from the drawer and a bowl of water.

“He needs quiet. Everything is really overwhelming right now. A lot of input and nowhere for it to go.”

“You’re the boss, Marto.” With a jaunty salute, Tim followed, staying calm and quiet, kneeling down to Jon’s level before whispering a greeting. “Hey. Gonna get you fixed right up.”

“Nnng…okay.”

“Jon? We’re going to help you sit up.” With no refusal forthcoming, Tim and Martin shared a look of alarm before lifting him as though he were made of spun glass and he buried his face in Martin’s soft, well worn jumper. “Good, Jon.” Martin pressed his palm against his forehead and found it cold and a little clammy, his clothes clung slightly with sweat and it seemed like he had trouble coordinating his limbs.

“Hur’s…” trembling, his muscles spasmed randomly, and Tim had to help hold his hand steady enough for a dose of paracetamol while Martin followed quickly with the bitter tea, washing the taste away with a sip of water.

“Okay, love. Doing such a good job. Almost done.” More tears. He went to nod, instead ending up with his head hanging, neck too tired to hold it up any longer and Martin eased him back down onto the pillow. “Let me know if this is too much.” He wrung out a flannel and smoothed it over his eyes, pleased when Jon groaned in slight relief. Tim stroked his hair, soft and slow, and together they waited, watched his shivering gradually stop and his breath deepen into sleep.

Sasha met them outside the door and Martin stepped further down the hall, just in case they were loud enough to wake him.

“Well?”

“He’s asleep, bad migraine.” Martin winced in sympathy, “and hopefully he’ll sleep through until morning.”

“That’s a relief.” Collectively, they agreed. Jon had been under a lot of pressure lately and while he’d never been one to confide in them often even those moments were becoming rare

Jon felt heavy, tired and slow, and when Martin opened the door with a mug of tea in one hand and a plate of toast in the other, he reasoned that he hadn’t dreamt the entirety of the day previous. Which meant he did sit through most of Elias’ dry speech about safety.

Embarrassing. To have walked out like that.

“Martin.” The memory of gentle hands and a soft voice made him flush.

“Jon, how’re you feeling?”

“Better, uh, much better. Thank you.” Sitting up was only somewhat a chore, the dizziness faded into the background for the most part. The fogginess was expected and would last a few days but for now he accepted the tea graciously, eyed the toast suspiciously, and settled on another round of painkillers and a few mouthfuls until he thought he might be pushing it. “Thank you, Martin.” He’d been in a bad way and at his wit’s end before he and Tim essentially rescued him. Passing back the empty mug and setting the remaining toast aside, Jon decided he deserved a lie in especially considering he was in that fragile inbetween where turning his head too fast would trigger another one. “If you see Tim before me, would you pass on my gratitude?”

“‘Course I will” Martin retrieved the dishes and turned back before closing the door. “Sleep well, Jon.”

[smallestclowninthecircus]

Season 3 notes popping off

due to my desire to not completely fail all my classes this year i made myself slow down significantly while listening to this season, and the fact that the other person i'm listening along with had to catch up. We've managed to convert several other people to start listening and its pretty great.

ep 81: what does it even mean to be chosen by one of them? And if he was chosen by the eye. we know Gertrude wasnt? Because she cut the eyes out of the magazines?

ep 82: elias lmao. I understand why people like him so much bahshdhdk i thought he was gonna snitch on Jon but he didnt so he's fine. Ok but how do we think he knew all that stuff. Idk probably just institute connections. I love the fact that the recorder just wants to record stuff randomly bjahsjdhd. Elias feels a lot like Michael in the sense that he knows more than he should and talks in a way that implies he just wants to wait and see how things play out for his own benefit. I understand him knowing the things that happened but his description of her emotions implies something paranormal. Maybe he's connected to one of the entities. Which one I cannot guess.

ep 83: did a file get delivered randomly to the place he's staying at? Probably elias lmao. He thinks the mannequin is related to the stranger. Idk I would believe it.

ep 84: worms? I know he says earth worms but idk. Again? Is she making gordon golems out of trash? Martin popping off. You can tell the statements get to him more that they get to Jon. How come martin is so mad about it? I want to assume he just doesnt want her to get stuck there but idk. Jude Perry. The calliope organ. Jon heard a circus in one of the last episodes

ep 89: he's talking to perry? Like jude Perry? He says ... God? Is that what it is? Lmao. The Desolation. Jon is tired of ppl being vague and not telling him stuff lmao. Oh God Jon is so confused. Compel her? Is she assuming he has some kind of power? Does he have powers? Hmm. im agreeing with jon here please jesus christ why does everyone have to be so cryptic. Just say what you mean. "maybe you get an itchy eye" bahasjkdfklsjdf girl what. Agnes saved her? Oh this is the girl from the cafe story? So theres the Cult of the Lightless Flame? They worship whatever entity this is? The Desolation? Why do they all seem like they sorta worship her then? Is Gretchen gonna die oh god. fuckin michael. a different michael aaah. i see. dont do it shes gonna burn you. sir. please. sir dont you dare do- WHAT DID I SAY what did you think was gonna happen hhh.

ep 90: try to make it less obvious you're trying to get fired big T. Elias that doesnt sound like the most healthy thing to do. oh dear is this gonna be triggering for me. uuuuuh. uuuuuuuuuh. doesnt seem like it ok gonna keep listening. Jared. hmmmmm. Ok we've seen Keay and hotner or whatever his name was.

ep 91: Michael Crew. Oh is this the lightning scar guy. Mister jon sir did you just die. No? God everyone is so fuckin cryptic. Say normal things please. They all just like to go on about pain and agony and j e s u s c h r i s t we get it you got hurted by whatever thing. So theyre avatars? question mark? Jude Perry is an avatar of The Desolation? hhhh fractals. thats a spiral thing innit. Yup. messing with your perceptions. God they all talk about feeding their god and feeding that which feeds them and. hh what does that meann. Leave big J. please. uh oh. is it daisy? how come he has the web lighter still? the tape recorder just turns on sometimes you know how it is. So he can compel people? not that he knows it obviously but. a bit wack. powers go brr i guess? If the eye just wants knowledge i guess he feeds it by getting the statements? b/c i doubt it wants him to murder ppl or whatever.

ep 92: elias you all knowing fuck what do you know. (i guess all given what i just said) Lukas. Heard of them before. Mordecai Lukas. Loneliness. The lonely even. Jonah Magnus. Elias ur sounding like a bit of a dickhead rn. lmao jon's just like "i dont care" elias what is ur deal. Why does he want to tie her in. ohh i see. lmao theyre all just like "elias why" The Unknowing lol seems very much like something the eye wouldnt like. lol elias is gettin all philosophical. what does it really mean to be human. this still doesnt answer why gertrude wanted to destroy the archives tho.

ep 93: bahsjdfh he seems so dead inside rip. awww admiral. i love him already. ghh breacon and hope. purple mold. doesnt sound like anything we've seen so far. I think the funniest explanation for breacon and hope is that they dont actually serve the stranger they just kinda happen to be a random neutral party that cart around random spooky entity related stuff. ooooh. when we hear the slight static of the tape recorder it's cuz he's compelling ppl.

ep 94: the end! listen man they were all just grayed up for 4/13.

ep 95: the end also? death but also savagery/ animalistic shit. aww martin. lmao becerra. she's just been chillin in the corner.

ep 96: return to sender. haha minecraft go brr. prediction: breacon and hope? yup there we go. jon why is there an echo. are you in a stairwell? is he gonna eat it- yup. how did i call it. unsure abt what theyre talking about but ok. they kidnapped someone? Sarah Baldwin. ooooh that guy.

ok im just putting this here so i have notes for when nicholas gets to this part. It seems like (from jon's conversation with jude perry) that the desolation and the eye are kinda at odds with eachother? like i guess not directly but it seems like they dont really vibe? so how could be with both. Cuz if he has the heat powers and shit then we know he's an avatar of the desolation. but then why does he have so much eye imagery. also he got burned intentionally? like jude did when she went on her monologue about the feeling of burning? but then why did he wear the eye pendant. it stops him from being burned all the way which seems like he's not fully accepting the fire or whatever.

Nooooo I lost like a bunch of my notes rip. I keep forgetting to save.

Ep 104: tim gives a coherent statement without jon even being there. Ugh. Fucking robert smirk. Dont like him. Joey. Dont recognize the name. The show must go on. Clown. The spooky circus?

ep 105: total war... shogun 2? jon is just understanding languages again. "if i understood mandarin or cantonese" are you sure you dont big man?

ep 106: havent we heard this one already? mans in space? oh no this is just another episode in space. fairchild... uuuh. cant remember. oh! this is related to that! this is one of the ppl from the other side. sounds like a Vast thing. oh he's the one that the dude saw? but that guy didnt have a face... she's sorta like jon. wanting to dismiss the statements. lmao i love the workplace gossip. ace jon for the win! oh cmon elias dont be a dick. sunny meadows or whatever. thats the place we heard about.

ep 107: oh great is it jude perry again. Third Degree. bahahsdkfj she was arrested. sorry but imagining this old british lady getting arrested is funny. she was trying to resurrect him. using the skin book. he's not feeling well. jon take a nap. i wonder if this is what happens when he uses his powers too much. He gets into The Zone when he reads statements lol. didn't we have a burning train car in anothre statement? is it julia fairchild? bahahahs "kidnapped. Again." poor jon honestly. julia... about her dad. daughter of the murder shed guy? hunting like your dad liked to hunt or normal people hunting. oh hunting vampires!

ep 108: melanie has been suffering. poor martin peter lukas why do you have to be like this. can he not just use the front door? does he have to bother the ppl doing statements?

ep 109: how come he cut her off? kinda rude tbh. its either jon's influence or there was smth he didnt want her saying. is it gerard on the table? this sounds kinda like smth from one of the university episodes. is it the closed eye on the hand? yup. he's like one of the students! if the thing listening in is elias then... he can do that without the tape recorder yknow. plus who's to say it wont just turn itself on again

110: who wants to bet its a leitner?

111: Lukas related to The Lonely. I used to not like Gerard that much but i like him more now. but i thought there were 15? ohhh thats right isnt flesh newer? gerry for the win honestly. finally telling jon things.

112: lol "again" no one ever tells any of these ppl anything. tim and basira are just out of the loop constantly. music, like the war episodes. The hunt or the slaughter? probably the hunt. so Daisy is related to the hunt right? basira likes the reading, she's doing fine at the institute. daisy's getting worried...

113: it just turned on randomly. what is it lol. explossives! oh boy. why do they always assume he turned it on intentionally. melanie youre not making me like you that much. which entity is this about i cant tell. lol he was disappointed it was just the end. The title Breathing Room made me think it was gonna be about the buried but i guess not. So many of these entities deal with death but the end is one that deals in just death. it has no need for fancy deaths, just death is enough

114: more hilltop road statements? the tree. oh boy. ok the tree has 8 arms obviously theres the spider parallels. was she taken into an alternate universe? oh no. jon tries to phrase things so he's not asking questions. thats honestly good. "sometimes i was kidnapped" oh dear. they got gertrude. daisy ur so odd lmao. who wants to bet they dont know the tape recorder's running?

115: silaca? or whatever? antique man? meat grinder... related to the meat is meat episode? oh wow. they buy antiques from him. maybe dont antagonize this creature which can kill you?

116: lol theyre all just so done with elias. music? is it like the one band that if you hear them you die or wtvr. oh its chess? i am very much confused. mmm stranger go brr. gorilla skin? oh shit the dance. woah. this is so good. this is so gender. the words are wonderful. "you can just say tim" lmao trying to fool elias never feels like a good idea.

117: except elias lmaoo. oh shit. leitner getting some use for once idk. bruuh poor melanie she has been thru so much shit. martin you can just say youre worried about jon. lol he's so accurate in his jon impression. lol who was that. was that daisy? lmaoo. oop hi tim. oh god i hope tim doesnt die. i feel like i wouldve heard about that? but im not sure. destroying the source of knowledge is gonna be hard for jon. yay jon! you did a good thing. let him rest.

118: go off martin lmao. awww poor martin. oh god the tape gets that squealy quality and its awful.

119: woah. lots of things happening. uhh. POP OFF TIM!!

120: lmao elias giving a statement about jon's dreams lol. damn jon doesnt even get his own dreams? has to stay Watching even when he's asleep? f in the chat this man goes thru so much shit. oh boy its peter. lol martin my beloved. idk i dont trust peter.

[the-fandom-newsletter]

Fandom Newsletter #2

Today is Friday, October 5th of 2018 and welcome back to another Fandom Newsletter! You’re provider for all things fandom! 

Writers: Atlas, Blackpurrl, Fyne, YoursTruly 

Editors: Fyne and YoursTruly 

“Good, better, best. Never let it rest. ‘Til your good is better and your better is best.”

- St. Jerome

Let’s get started! 

First to YoursTruly with the Hannibal, Horror, Tim Burton, and Marvel fandoms-

Hannibal: Thomas Harris, author of the Hannibal Lecter books, is releasing a new book on May 21st of 2019! The book will not feature Hannibal or any of the characters from that series. This new book will be the first book he’s published in over a decade, his last book being Hannibal Rising which was published in 2006. The book’s cover and title have not yet been released, but it can still be pre-ordered on Amazon and other sources. 

Horror: Horror fans are awaiting the next installment in The Conjuring series. The next movie is set to be released next year, the title being The Crooked Man, a character from The Conjuring 2. 

Tim Burton: Tim Burton fans are ecstatic about Freeform’s 13 Nights of Halloween being changed to 31 Nights of Halloween! During this time period, Freeform plays many popular Halloween movies, including The Nightmare Before Christmas and The Corpse Bride. 

Marvel: Marvel fans are debating the quality of the upcoming movie Venom. It seems there’s a clean split: You either love it or you hate it. A lot of controversy is spreading over one particular scene which won’t be spoiled here, but many people who have already seen it say it’s amazing and accurate to the comics. The movie is not part of the MCU and exists outside of the Spider-Man universe, setting it up for the perfect Venom solo movie. The movie hits theaters this Saturday. I personally think it will be an incredible movie, what about you? 

Next to Blackpurrl with the Harry Potter, World News, and Animation fandoms-

Animation: New clips are out for Vivziepop’s Hazbin Hotel!

Harry Potter: The newest movie, The Crimes of Grindelwald, is set for release on November 6th this year. Just one month to go!

World News: Spiked Reports on Sexual Harassment in France. Follow the link to read more.

Now to Fyne with the Supernatural, Sherlock, YouTube, and Spooptober fandoms- 

Supernatural - The wardrobe on Supernatural has become a trademark for so many of the show’s favorite characters. Early on, things like Dean’s leather jacket took on a life of its own, playing an essential part of the Winchester storyline. Dean inherited it from John, turning his staple style into a sentiment of how much he idolized his dad. For the first five seasons, the brown leather jacket (which we first see in the pilot episode) was almost thought of as Dean’s superhero attire. Then, in season 6, without even an explanation, the jacket was just gone. Where did it go? Well As it turns out, there was a very real reason for this vanishing act. When the cast was in Los Angeles for a photo shoot, their wardrobe was flown over from Vancouver. In the process, a few items were stolen. Among them was Dean’s iconic jacket, which was worn in so many memorable scenes. Who stole it? To this day we do not know. Since then, Dean’s look has undergone a few subtle changes. At first, there was somewhat of a “normal life”-looking coat that appeared at the beginning of season 6. Thankfully, that fad didn’t last long. Eventually, it changed over into an evolving selection military-style jackets, each perfectly-suited for his character. It’s now hard to imagine Dean without his current signature style.

Sherlock - Did you know Matt Smith auditioned to play Watson? Yes our beloved less down to earth Doctor was almost our very down to earth John Watson. He may be best known for playing a less down-to-Earth Doctor, but before he got the keys to the TARDIS, Matt Smith auditioned for the role of Dr. Watson. Although he can do less eccentric than the role he's best known for, Smith himself admits he'd probably have been a little too skewed to work as Sherlock's foil. Why Smith didn't get the role is kinda obvious when you think about it. Before Doctor Who he had only a handful of TV credits to his name, with his only big screen role. Martin Freeman may not have been the blockbuster leading man he is now, but he was at the very least recognisable to a British audience thanks to The Office.

YouTube - Art YouTubers are currently confusing fans as, unlike last year, the ones participating in inktober aren’t making daily videos. We can’t help but wonder if this is because of the ad-pocolypse and shrinking revenue, or if it is because they simply don’t feel up to it. What are your thoughts?

Spooptober - It is officially Spooptober! Expect creepy fun facts, stories, and tidbits throughout the month of October! This weeks fun fact is - did you know that the average high school student prefers Halloween over Valentines day? Who woulda thunk?

Lastly to Atlas with the Voltron, Movies, And Celebrities fandoms-

Voltron: An interview with Josh Keaton was posted on YouTube. In the interview, he was asked about what he thought about the show ending. He replied, “All of us really love the show. We’re sad to see it go. As for me, I don’t think I’m ready to stop being Shiro.”

Movies: So, um. Live action Teen Titans anyone? No?

Celebrities: Lin-Manuel Miranda is going to play a small role in Mary Poppins Returns.

Now to your weekly movie review by YoursTruly- 

Movie review- Spider-Man 3

I’ve seen this movie many times before, and it’s my favorite in the Spider-Man franchise. The movie has a great plot and is throughly entertaining in general. The movie features Toby Maguire, who many people consider to be the best Spider-Man. 

Now to Blackpurrl with the weekly trivia fact- 

Trivia: A cricket's ears are on its front legs, just below the knees and they have four acoustic inputs. The openings in the crickets exoskeleton that act as ears, lead into chambers inside the legs, which connect to either side of the cricket, allowing sound to pass completely through the cricket.

And back to Atlas with the weekly book review- 

Book Review: Cornelia Funke’s Inkheart is a modern day/not-so modern fantasy that will leave the reader on the edge of their seat. With a fantastic plot line and lovable characters, this book is hard to put down!

The comic at the end of the newsletter is brought to you by our very talented Blackpurrl. It’s titled “Atlas Initiation”. That’s all for this week, we’ll see you next week with another Fandom Newsletter! 

Signing off, 

Atlas, Blackpurrl, Fyne, YoursTruly 

[xtruss]

News/Europe

Ireland's Muslims Flock to Sporting Grounds to Celebrate Eid

Croke Park, a historic venue in Dublin, opened its doors to hundreds of Muslims this Eid al-Adha.

Initially, the organisers had hoped 500 worshippers could attend Friday's event, but a surge in new COVID-19 cases delayed an expected easing of restrictions.

— By Shane Raymond | Al Jazeera English

Irish Muslims gather to celebrate Eid al-Adha (Shane Raymond/Al Jazeera)

Dublin, Ireland — On a crisp, bright morning in Dublin, worshippers sit on prayer mats spaced across a sport pitch, listening to a woman dressed head-to-toe in white recite the Quran.

From over the looming, concrete walls of the stadium, Catholic prayers barked into a microphone can be heard from the "rosary rally" protest outside.

Ireland's hallowed sporting grounds, Croke Park, opened its doors to Muslims this Eid al-Adha so that they could gather in large numbers for the first time since the country's coronavirus lockdown put strict limits on all indoor religious services.

Initially, the organisers had hoped 500 worshippers could attend Friday's event, but a surge in new COVID-19 cases delayed an expected easing of restrictions.

Instead, only 200 people were allowed on the field, suitably spaced apart, aside from some children who stayed close to their parents, running around the prayer mats in circles or waving miniature Irish flags.

For many of the worshippers, Friday's event was also a cherished opportunity to celebrate their dual identities - they are Muslim and Irish, and proud to be both.

"The Kaaba is the pulse and heart of the Muslim world," said Karen Kirwan, the ceremony's MC. "Well, Croke Park is the heartbeat of all the Irish people here in Ireland. It's where we are drawn to."

Symbolic Venue

More than a stadium, Croke Park dominates a central position in Ireland's psyche.

"Croke Park has been a physical expression of a nationalist, cultural, sporting organisation. And it's freighted with history," historian Tim Carey said.

The stands are named for historical figures or insurrections, such as Hill 16, said - falsely - to be built on rubble from the 1916 Rising, a failed rebellion that reignited the Irish independence struggle (the stand was built the previous year).

The arena is also the site of the most notorious atrocity of the Irish War of Independence, the Bloody Sunday massacre, in which 14 people were shot dead by police who swarmed the field during a match.

"To have a sporting venue attacked in such a manner by the state really put Croke Park in a different league in terms of symbolism," Carey says.

After independence, the stadium was seen as a reflection of the new, often insular and deeply Catholic nation.

"The bishops threw the ball in at every major match in Croke Park until the 1970s," Carey says.

But on Friday, as protesters - some carrying prayer beads or anti-Islam signs - screamed through a line of police officers at an anti-racism counterprotest outside the stadium walls, the highest-ranking Catholic in Ireland, Diarmuid Martin, spoke along with Anglican and Jewish representatives to the hundreds of Muslims gathered on the field, expressing support for the Eid celebration.

Protesters, some carrying prayer beads or anti-Islam signs, scream through a line of police officers at an anti-racism counterprotest outside the stadium walls (Shane Raymond/Al Jazeera)

Aside from the few dozen protesters outside, an online petition to stop the event, described as an "attack" on Christian culture, accumulated more than 24,000 signatures, according to the anti-immigration activists who organised it.

When the event was first announced, an article from a fringe news site falsely reported that animals would be slaughtered in Croke Park during the Eid celebrations as part of a "large blood sacrifice". The claim was quickly debunked.

However, Carey said he reaction has been overwhelmingly positive inside the Gaelic Athletic Association community and the event's organisers say that, while Irish Muslims still face Islamophobia, Irish society has been largely accepting.

"Ireland is the country of cead mile failte - a hundred thousand welcomes - and Ireland is a country that, in many ways, leads in embracing diversity," said Umar al-Qadri, the Chair of the Irish Muslim Peace and Integration Council.

"Irish people have shown that, no matter the past, no matter what prejudices you have, you can reconcile and have peace.

"Having Eid in Croke Park is very historic. It's very symbolic. For Muslims, it's a sense of pride and the wider community have expressed their happiness."

Praying During Lockdown

Ireland's 2016 census says more than 63,000 Muslims lived in the country that year, up from less than 4,000 in 1991. However, al-Qadri estimates that the figure is now probably higher than 100,000.

Al-Qadri was born in the Netherlands but moved to Pakistan as a teenager. When he returned, he found that right-wing parties were on the rise in the Netherlands, as was rhetoric against foreigners, Jews and Muslims.

"As with most immigrant communities, they were too busy at building their own lives and looking after their families back home," al-Qadri said.

"That created fear that translated into anti-Muslim sentiments. And I wanted to avoid that in Ireland."

Al-Qadri set up the Irish Muslim Peace & Integration Council to build bridges with the wider society, as well as to tackle "extremism" within the Muslim community.

During the coronavirus lockdown, al-Qadri issued a fatwa, an order by a Muslim leader, allowing adherents to gather online to say Friday prayers on sites that facilitate video streaming such as Facebook. Then, while watching a video showing German Muslims praying in an Ikea car park, he was inspired - or rather, he thought: "We can do better than that."

Among the speeches at the Croke Park event - said in a mix of English, Arabic and Irish - was a talk by 21-year-old Abood Aljumaili, encouraging the attendees to try out the native Irish sport played at the stadium, like hurling.

Abood Aljumaili (Shane Raymond/Al Jazeera)

Aljumaili, 21, more commonly called Bonnar O'Loingsigh, fled Iraq as a child with his family in 2008. He started learning to play hurling a few years later.

"I didn't even know how to hold the hurl properly," Aljumaili said of the long wooden sticks used by players.

It was his second time in Croke Park and, once the ceremony ended, he took advantage of it, smacking a ball a quarter of the way across the pitch and chasing after it towards the goalposts.

"It's the best game in the world," he said.

Omayma Madani, 17, was not able to get a ticket to the event. Speaking in the accent of the south Dublin area where she grew up, she talked about how she has been made to feel uncomfortable travelling in some European countries as a Muslim, but rarely in Ireland.

She spoke about having to buy a specially-made hijab to go with the uniform of the Catholic school she attended and not being able to eat with her community during Ramadan and how her mosque was still eerily quiet when she last visited.

Madani was born in Ireland to parents who had immigrated from Algeria but, when asked how she saw her own identity, she did not answer with nationality or religion.

Instead, she said: "I'm an artist. I'm a boxer. I teach Arabic. I enjoy teaching, but I wouldn't want to do it forever. I want to be a lawyer. And, one day, I want to be the prime minister of this country."

— SOURCE: AL JAZEERA NEWS

[manda-kat]

Tagged by @the-black-backed-gull

Questions tag! Yay!

1.what was the most personally impactful book you've read? Hm... That's a hard one. Probably Martin the Warrior by Brian Jaques. The message of the book didn't especially speak to me, but the characters and story lines made me want to write a story of my own. It helped inspire me to write.

2. Favorite poem? Actually, I don't really read much poetry. Not sure why. If I had to choose one though, it would probably be Annabel Lee by Edgar Allen Poe.

3. Worst nightmare/fear? Heights. I have a paralyzing fear of being in high places.

4. Favorite memory? Oh jeez... I thought about it, and I don't think I have one. Sure, I have good memories, but none that are really special to me. In life, it's not what you remember, it's how you choose to remember it.

5. Songs that bring you to tears almost every time? Meanwhile Back at Mamas by Tim McGraw. Why? I don't even know. I'm not even a fan of country music. It's not even a sad song. It just makes me sad. 😕 weird.

6. Name an experience that changed you. I don't think I've ever changed. Sure, I've aged and matured, but I'm still a happy, way too loud, annoying person, and honestly, I hope I never stop.

7. Define love. Love is not an emotion. It is an action. I firmly believe that you can't have love at first sight. You have to have love at first gesture. Love is hugging someone when they need it, cooking a meal for someone who is hungry, giving a gift to someone you care about. You can't say you love someone and then treat them poorly. That is why in order to love God, we must serve him.

8. Are you clenching your jaw right now? No. You made me wonder if I do it without knowing though.

9. Gush about your crush! I... I don't have a crush. I could go on a long list of people I've been infatuated by, but I haven't allowed any of it to develop. I'm not gonna deal with that kind of drama.

10. Do you feel lost right now? Probably a little. But that's okay. Just because you don't know where you are, doesn't mean you can't get to where you want to be.

11. What are your current emotions? Happy. I know that sounds shallow, but it's true. At this point in time, I am truly a happy person and I thank the Lord for that.

Thank you @the-black-backed-gull for those awesome and insightful questions! Here are my asks:

1. What would you call your autobiography? (I don't mean give a self-depreciating title.)

2. What is the most wise and insightful thing you can think of to say right now?

3. What are you saving up for?

4. Who is your role model and what are you going to do to be like them?

5. What never fails to bring you joy?

6. What is something fun you are planning to do this week/month/soon? (Even if it's just netflix and chill.)

7. What is your favorite outfit?

8. Where are you right now as you read this?

9. What is your favorite toy/item/game that you own?

10. Tell us about your last dream, but you can only use ten words. (If you don't dream or don't remember your dreams, then just write down the wildest fantasy you can imagine.)

11. Count your blessings. What were the first three things that came to mind?

Okay! Since, I don't know very many people, I'm not sure who does and doesn't like getting tagged. So, if you have the time and you'd like to try it, go right ahead! Even if you're the one who tagged me. If you wanna talk about yourself, that's awesome. I want to hear your answers.