#i didnt feel like rendering him fully

[clowninground]

Clown art time. I drew the guy

[inmyheaddd]

but i love that man, like nobody can - rafe cameron x reader

summary: rafe has been distant with you and then acts like nothing has happened. you feel so insane because he acts like everything is fine, to the point where you snap. warnings: resolved angst, mild language, maybee slight kind of gaslighting if you look closely… nothing really tbh! a/n: i needed obx 4 by yesterday wc: 1k

“fucking, let go of me, i don’t need your help.” you said as you aggressively wiped angry tears off your face, the action quickly rendered useless because they were only replaced by new ones within the second.

rafe took another step closer to you, “it doesn’t look like it.” he said as he put one hand on your waist, the other moving your your chin so he could get a better look at your face.

“you’re such a dick, just stop it.” you whined in frustration, sounding more sad than angry now as shrugged his hands off of you, turning on your heels and only getting one step in before he grabbed your arm, making you involuntarily turn around. 

your breath hitched in your throat, you were getting ready to say something back, before rafe put both his hands on your shoulders, catching you off guard. 

he crouched down slightly to be eye level with you, and the act alone somehow made you want to stop shouting back. 

“listen, baby, you’re acting crazy right now.” he pointed out, eyes flicking between your tear filled ones. “i don’t know what the fuck is happening with you, but you gotta stop takin’ it out on me, alright?”

his voice was surprisingly level, not angry like how anyone else would’ve assumed he would be.

you shook your head, tears threatening to spill again before you forced them back. “i’m not acting crazy. you’re being mean to me, how am i supposed to act?” 

he had been ignoring you and your texts all day today, then when he got home he sat next to you on the couch and lazily slung an arm around your shoulder. then, he casually pressed a kiss to the top of your head like nothing happened. 

the action ticked you off way more than it should’ve, and now you were here. 

“mean?” rafe chuckled like your words were some kind of joke, as he put his hands back to his sides and stood up fully. “what are you talkin’ about, baby?” he furrowed his brows at you, looking at you like you were speaking another language, but somehow being amused. 

“that is what i’m talking about!” you exclaim, sounding far too affected than you wanted to come off as. 

“you say all these nice things, call me all these pet names, and act like you really care,” you sniffle, wiping the tried tears off of your face, “but then the next day you act like i don’t exist or something, and it’s so confusing, rafe.”

“you think i’m ignoring you?” he laughed bitterly. “you seriously think i don’t have better things to deal with than whatever the fuck is in your head right now?”

that switch in his tone dismissive tone hit you like a slap, and you flinched. “you don’t get it,” you muttered, voice trembling. 

“you just— you always—“ you cut yourself off with a sigh, so overwhelmed you couldn’t even formulate a proper sentence. 

“you know what, fine, forget i said anything.” you stated, unable to do this any longer. 

“it doesn’t even matter.” you mumbled under your breath as you turned and walked away. 

“baby,” he called out defeatedly as he sighed. “wait,” he called out again, but you didnt turn around.  

he ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head as let out a long breath before he quickly caught up to you in 2 large strides. 

he stepped infront of you and put his hands on your arms, gentle but firm. you froze in his grip, the sudden change in him throwing you off.

everything inside you screamed to push him away and scream into a pillow, but instead, you found yourself sinking into the comfort of his touch, even though you knew better.

“listen, you’re not crazy, alright?” his gaze flickered between your eyes. “i don’t…” he trailed off, his voice going lower. “i didn’t mean to make you feel like that.” he murmured. “i’m not trying to mess with you.” 

you didn’t say anything for a moment, pouting. “then why do you keep acting like that? you only show up when it benefits you. you don’t even care.”

“what? no,” he spat out, before seeing the look on your face and speaking again. “no, baby, god no.” he said, gentler this time. 

“then what?” you pressed as you only got more confused with his answer. you were getting tired of this back and forth with him. 

“i’m a busy guy, alright? i don’t always have the time for shit, you know that.” he stated, raising his eyebrows expressively. he looked like he was thinking for a moment as he looked into your eyes, before he spoke again. “that doesn’t mean i don’t care.” 

when you kept silent and the pout you were carrying only got deeper, he continued. frustration bubbling beneath the surface. “you think i want to hurt you? because i dont.” his voice dropped quieter. “i just... i just have a lot going on.”

now your pout disappeared, “rafe,” your voice was barely a whisper, “i’m sorry. i know you didn’t want to hurt me.” you took a step closer to him, and his hands fell from your arms to your waist.

“nah, don’t apologize. it’s all good baby.” his hands moved to cradle your face, and you let yourself lean into his touch; rough but always gentle with you. “you know i care about you, right?”

his eyes darkened with something unreadable. you knew he wasn’t the best at talking about feelings, but you could see him trying. for you.

you nodded with your face still in his hands, “yeah,” you whispered.

“and you know that just because i might go away for a while, doesn’t mean i stopped caring about you, right?” 

you swallowed hard, your brain torn between wanting to believe him and the lingering doubt that kept nagging at you. "yeah, i know, but... sometimes it feels like i'm not even on your mind."

his eyebrows furrowed in slight confusion. “you’re always on my mind, baby.” he muttered lowly, blue eyes boring into yours as he tilted your chin up to meet his eyes.

you couldn’t help the tiny smile that crept onto your face, feeling the dried tears long gone on your cheeks.

“always?” you asked somewhat teasingly, as rafe’s eyes lit with amusement upon seeing you smile. 

“all the fuckin’ time.” 

[randomalistic]

DELTARUNE CHAPTER 3 FINALE MAJOR SPOILERS - music rambling

I cannot express how fucking amazing a piece of music the Roaring Knight theme is. Holy shit. AND LIKE. THAT ENTIRE SCENE IN GENERAL. its like a pure shot of adrenaline into your veins <3

EDIT: It's called Black Knife in the OST

If i put it into words Eloquently I would be here for a few hours. so im just rambling like a buffoon instead

The end of Tenna's fight gets pretty intense with the channel switching mechanic, so by the laws of game design you're expecting a break, especially after things seem to be wrapping up and you tell Tenna you'll find him a home... BUT NOPE!! BIG NOPE. The knight just fucking ??? SLICES HIS ARMS OFF and then you get thrown into this !!??? OTHERWORLDLY NIGHTMARE ENCOUNTER with your team at UNDER HALF HP. And just before that, theres this dark, sickening bubbling insect-like soundscape. THE SCREAM IT UNLEASHES THAT RIPS ITS BODY APART TINTING THE WHOLE SCREEN RED???. WHAT THE FUCKKKKK AHHHH AAAH WHAT THE FUCKKKKK

Never have i heard something so "OH SHIT" incarnate in the first 2 seconds. The way the drums COMPLETELY DEMAND YOUR ATTENTION. ITS LIKE. "LOOK AT ME. I'M THE LAST THING YOU'LL EVER SEE. YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD." ITS SO SO SCARY LOL

And the ghostly dissonant choir it starts off with that just makes the hair on ur neck stand up, i swear to god. And the flavor text about feeling something floating behind your head??? Your heartbeat twisting?? THERES SO MUCH COSMIC HORROR INJECTED INTO THIS BOSS. FUCKING STIFLING. CHILLING. UNNERVING. deltarune never disappoints god damn. and i didn't even mention how if you're below a certain hp level it'll just DECIMATE YOU to -999 HP. Nothing has ever been that powerful in these games- and the text along with it?? Ralsei being rendered into a PILE OF WHITE FLUFF. Like after this thing hits you , you'll barely even resemble what you used to be. Save me

I cant even get started on how it incorporates the first piece of intense music you hear in the dark world - the chase theme. And how it switches from Terrifying and intense to ... Hopeful? in the 2nd half. Like the vibe of "Wait... we're actually WINNING? WE'RE KICKING ASS??"

God that 2nd half is like. So incredible it gets me emotional. It seems to be its own unique melody. The main synth wavering as it gets near the end like its a voice on the verge of tears, pushing itself until it breaks, screaming into the void on the edge of everything.. I can't get over this or fully describe what it Makes me Feel. I get chills listening to it. Idk its just a fucking amazing boss.

After seeing footage of it, i really didnt want to fight it for a shadow crystal cuz it looked crazy hard, but genuinely i think the music convinced me. So that's how I spent last night and I did it (yay)

[celuere]

„Dr. Juno-Celia Whitlock. Today, you‘re on trial for the following crimes. Second-Degree Murder, Arson, Larceny, Burglary, Kidnapping and unethical experiments on one of her Majesty‘s Harbingers. By attending today’s trial, you oath to speak the truth, yet you do not have to testify if you are not willing to.“

„Understood, your Honor.“

It was an unfortunate situation, really. Unfortunate but not surprising. Juno knew what would await her the moment she dragged two of Dottore‘s duplicates into her laboratory after setting the Harbinger‘s own facility on fire. But the woman was interested in his clones, wanted to make a few of her own but sometimes doing everything by yourself can be a little frustrating so why not just… borrow a few materials from a fellow colleague?

But colleague would be a little too friendly to describe the relationship between the Harbinger and the scientist. Dottore doesn’t hate a lot of things. For him, everything is but an experiment waiting to be pursued. But Juno? He despised that woman. He despised her from the deepest depths of the abyss. There was always something wrong with the girl, even when she was just a toddler in the Hearth under Crucabena‘s influence. Other‘s might not notice it but there was a certain uncanny aura around her, something that rendered her not quite human. The eyes was the first thing he recognized. Khaenri’ahn. Pure-blooded. Yet, why doesn’t she seem to suffer from the Shade‘s curse of immortality? At first, it was curiosity, but his request to transfer the 8 yo into his laboratory was met with not one- not two- but three knives pointed at him in addition to Eilif almost decapitating Dottore on the spot.

And if Dottore hated one thing it was having to swallow his thirst for knowledge. But one thing- there was one thing he hated more than anything.

And that was being mocked.

Which Juno never failed to do whenever he visited the Hearth. Wether it be his ugly hair, the stupid mask or teeth- Juno always let him know how stupid he looked in her eyes.

Juno hated stupid people.

The pinnacle for him- an incident that caused the Doctor to stay away from this godforsaken house for almost half a year was when she solved a problem in his research which he has been sitting on for months- within mere minutes. He just left the papers in the living room while following the late Knave into the basement for some… check-ups and when he came back- there laid a paper next to it. The handwriting was sloppy and cranky- yet the grammar was perfect and the solution was flawlessly written down.

„You can’t be ugly and stupid old man“

He never wanted to strangle someone with bare hands so bad.

And now she was sitting there, hands cuffed behind her back as the judge presented the evidence to her and all she did was smile. It was the kind of smile that caused people to squirm around in their seats, even the judge had her problems with holding up the eye-contact. And it caused his blood to boil. He didnt care about the two clones of his. Or his laboratory getting blown up to pieces. It was the fact that she planned it all and even succeeded perfectly in the end without him getting even the slightest wind of it.

Dottore knew her husband was of similar caliber. Calculated, cunning and ruthless. But Juno took things to a whole new level. Where normal people would stop- she was starting to pick up. Normal people would have been dead by even thinking about a plan to trick the Harbinger but she ended up cutting up his experiments like a bunch of pigs and blended them. Blended. Them. The amount of… smoothies that was found outside the S.R.T wasn’t nearly enough to count for two fully grown men but whatever happened to the rest- he didn’t know. Dottore loathed the feeling of the unknown. Loathed her.

„First-Degree Murder.“

„I beg your pardon, Dr. Whitlock?“

„It was First-Degree Murder. Not Second-Degree. That would indicate I was too lazy for a proper plan and that I didn’t intent on killing of the two subjects. Which is actually quite insulting.“

„So… you admit to the crime?“, multiple jaws found their place on the floor that day.

„Wholeheartedly.“

Nobody could explain the joke of a sentence she got handed to her.

A month. One month in jail for something they would’ve usually hanged any other civilian.

But Juno was no civilian. Nor was she human.

And the Doctor didn’t even have a fitting laboratory to let out his anger in.

[rookiesbookies]

I got bored my sweet and lovely readers and stumbled upon a beautiful british dude who talks about his prince albert and his uncut cock so yeah. That’s rattling around in my head. Apparently like 95% of the people born in UK have uncut dicks which is crazy for me to think about as an american. Personally I generally prefer cut, the guy im with rn has a cut one and I think it looks really pretty honestly but here we go.

Do they have piercings? Or tattoos? Cut or Uncut?

141 + Konig, Krueger, & Keegan

Damn lotta K names now.

Price

No piercings. He doesn’t really understand the appeal but doesn’t judge people for them.

Definitely has a tattoo on his left ribs of the number “141” in a really nice script. Probably got a tattoo of Soap’s full name and born/death dates under it as a reminder. To pivot away from that sad sad tattoo, uncut.

Soap

He got 1 nipple pierced while drunk. He was supposed to get both but after the first he sobered right up. Swore to never go back to the piercing shop (did but that was to get drunk tattoos)

For tattoos he has a Scottish flag with the words “Scotland Forever” under it in nice text but it was supposed to be over his heart (its on his right pec). And uncut but like a really pretty and thick uncut. I’ll… give more details in a fic later if its requested. Because there’s so much I could say.

Ghost

Got a single ear pierced the night Johnny got his nipple done. He let the hole close and didnt take good care of it so it got a minor infection once. Also see him getting something like a lorum piercing while drunk, probably screamed really loud, still blames Johnny because they were both really REALLY wasted. Uncut.

Gaz

Got both his ears pierced and his eyebrow done about two years before he started basic training. He’s let the eyebrow piercing close over the years but still occasionally puts studs in his ears. Uncut.

Konig

Lowkey probably gets off on certain pains so I feel like he got both his nipples pierced and its not bc of that one render I see going around, because of that render I do believe he has a cthulhu tattoo. I fully believe this man would get like a Prince Albert piercing for the hell of it. Definitely uncut, Europe is generally uncut from my understanding and I just dont see it for him personally.

Krueger

Nope. He’s more likely to have tattoos than piercings. Couldn’t keep them clean. Probably did get a stupid tattoo when he was a kid that he regrets. Uncut.

Keegan

I feel like he got an ear bar as a teen. Idk if he still has it bc it would prob catch on the baklavas but I feel like he did. Cut and probably really clean.

Masterlist is pinned on profile as always, don’t forget to leave me a comment or a request in my inbox to let me know what yall want to see!

Edit: I can go into more detail and will if requested

[clown-paradise]

While not finding the nicknames themselves very appealing, Herobrine likes it when Jester uses them on him, but never admits that outloud >:3

.

me yapping abt my procreate experience below

SOOOO, i wanted to max out my ipad's and procreate's abilities with this "fully" rendered comic annnnd: it's okay ! procreate is not my favorite, i think i prefer CSP a lot more.. prob bc im more adjusted to CSP while still being a total noob at procreate, once i started coloring the comic, it started to get kinda laggy which sucked, i didnt know procreate had max layers, so realizing the max is 49 layers (for my ipad) was sad but wasnt a huge deal since i just had to merge everything onto one layer. For future heavy art pieces, ill most likely keep those for CSP. i like having a million separate layers for every single little thing

the fact procreate doesnt have any shape tools does suck, moving layers around isnt the smoothest, having no gradient tools suck too (which i was able to just manually make a gradient by using the blur tool, ive been spoiled with CSP's gradient/and shape tool options)

I need to find a diff way of rendering on procreate (or maybe find alternate brushes for rendering certain things) bc i did kinda rush the backgrounds so im not rly THAT happy with it, the colors and environment sorta feel too bright but whatever, this comic was mainly just to test out everything !

[purplepentagon]

What made you start liking scourge x espio??? Ps your posts have sucked me into the scourgespio rabbit hole it is so bad (<- good thing)

hi! sooo i started REALLY likig espio after i watched snapcube play tmosth a few months ago, and in terms of shipping i did like espilver but didnt really feel to invested in it. one day i randomly fully rendered scourge (i had never drawn him before) and quickly became obsessed too. so my yaoi brain just decided to smush them together cause im down bad for them both. mr espio "i can fix him" the chameleon and scourge "unfixable" the hedgehog just have such an awful dynamic they intrigue me so! thanks for tha ask!

[fictionfixations]

Book 7 JP spoilers (recent-est i think)

(recently found out how to do keep reading bits.)

i. have been told what happened

you know this groovy with him crying

i know context now

and

oh my god

my. heart. ughUISHfdi rOOOOK.

(m gonna be honest rook was never my favorite and i honestly didnt know how to feel about him. [to be fair i hated sebek at one point but now im like a huge sebek fan so.] but i think when this gets onto EN and i play through it im just gonna be a huge rook fan man.)

like

okay

so i know what happens in the story

(also i love this so much this is now in my mind, rook's actual room pre-nrc [except vil's not in an RSA uniform LMFAO. actually if it was PRE-NRC i dont think either of them would have enrolled at a school yet, unless neige is older than vil, or unless RSA doesnt do the same enrollment ages or whatever like NRC)

ACTUALLY SCRATCH THAT NEIGE IS IN HIS 2ND YEAR???

??????? people notice so much oh my god..

wait....

actually do you think neige joined a school because he saw vil join one?? cause. i think he really idolizes vil. (actually kind of makes me think of cheka idolizing leona)

huh. random thought.

i mean i only know a summary of it (im fine with spoilers ngl and i dont care even if you shove like a fully translated post of the entire chapters and stuff.. i just like seeing story that i dont mind rereading)

but like man. its gonna break me when we're there for that moment. (in EN)

i

dont want to say anything in case there's an EN person here. and i mean if they're spoiling themselves all the more power to them but i also feel like its one of those things that are a LOT more impactful when you encounter it for the first time so im just. not gonna try to learn more about it and wait. (although its like. JP is in Part 8 i think, we're in Part 4??? that seems so far away sob. but also we gotta finish lilia's dream first so...)

im just. sadge. (also idk what vil's dream is but i think we end up seeing it. unless it was actually a render of him from rook's dream, which i wouldnt think is too far off. but also--)

THIS IS APPARENTLY CANON?

I SAW IT AND I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE BUT THEN I RAN INTO IT AGAIN??? and its like. LISTEN. he looks so goofy i cant... epel. i love you. but oh my god (i cant take you seriously im SORRY im DEAD)

also he's still in pomefiore which is cool (he accepted his cuteness! although i dont know how much of a weapon his cuteness would have now..?. you think he snaps out of it cause ppl might laugh at him [and then he beats them up] but he still gets irritated cause what the heck im not cute anymore--- [..wait. i was never cute. what am i on about.] ...i keep overusing the word cute and i know he wouldnt use it himself but i have a very small vocabulary.)

im just.

i dont know how to feel about this ??? (it feels more cursed than hatless rook. i can at least pretend he isnt hatless. but like. epel..)

also vil in rsa /neg /hj (the rsa uniform looks so bland and i like him in darker colors)

okay im gonna be honest i have a dislike against RSA. and thats honestly because im petty and hold grudges.

also i like my villain boys and i just want them to win (..yknow. i really dont think GloMas counts when the RSA boys were actually nice enough to like. ..take hits for them??? and then we were planning on leaving them like LMFAO 'not my problem')

so yeah.

actually wait if rooks dream takes place in VDC how the fuck

WHO IS NRC TRIBE????

CAUSE VIL'S IN RSA WITH NEIGE?? HELLO??? WHAT.

WE'RE NOT WINNING WHAT THE HELL

(unless our role in the dream is to drop a jawdropping performance [idfk do we have diasomnia boys minus lilia(? i honestly dont know how lilia's dream ends and if he joins us) and malleus???)

but listen. if vils the best. and neige is the best.

we're so. not winning..? (i was going to ask if it was gonna be like rook this time voting for NRC and thats how we win. but like. HELL no are we gonna have it be split 50/50 again like that)

anyway i am still very excited and so pumped and oh my god fhsuihe

i find it so funny that at the start of the post i was so crushed like 'oh my god...' cause angst and then here i am doing a complete 180

EDIT: hold on. i didnt think to think about it but now that we know what his room looks like

thats his bed. you can see the neige part. and that thing he's holding onto is like the movie poster (or i assume its a movie poster) with vil and neige

ngl i saw some people linking it up to like the hunter crying on snow white's dress

which. i never saw this movie so like (i dont even want to know what happened but also these movies are OLD. also in like sleeping beauty?? i saw the animated of once upon a dream or something like that and mans just comes up to her out of nowhere. no warning and holds her and sings and im just like brUH if you did that id fucking hit you like WHAT???)

also i just noticed his muscles goddamn.

[dykexenomorph]

Tell me your Jaheira thoughts for that meme. :D

THANK U, i love that old woman!!!!!

FIRST IMPRESSION: ive replayed the game so many times now (or at least replayed acts 1 and 2) that its hard for me to fully remember my first impressions of a lot of the charas?? im PRETTY sure that i discovered jaheria through tiktok edits before id seen her in game (i didnt know much about the og games before playing bg3) and loved her from the start? i remember being super excited to finally find her in game, she became an IMMEDIATE staple for my party LOL

IMPRESSION NOW: i STILL love her, for a very long time she was my favorite companion in bg3 AND in the og games (though now that ive played more of 1 and 2 my favorite is probably dynaheir or neera). her scenes w durge are some of my favorites in the whole game :3

FAVORITE MOMENT: maybe an odd pick, but i really enjoy the scene in bg3 where she fights with you (and the emperor) over whether or not minsc should be saved and welcomed into the party. her extreme loyalty to him is really endearing, and i feel like this scene does a really good job of showing it. (im also really enjoying her dialogue in bg2 so far. seeing how her character changes after khalid's death has been super interesting)

IDEA FOR A STORY: IM SORRY BUT IM THE LAMEST PERSON ON EARTH AND HAVE NONE. i feel im better at coming up w specific things to draw as opposed to stories to tell </3

UNPOP OPINION: [loud enough to render several citys into naught but ash] SHE IS NOT!!!!!!!!!!!! A DEADBEAT MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FAVORITE RELATIONSHIP: mann obviously i have to say her and minsc... (also her and imoen in bg2? i havent gotten to see a TON of their interactions on account of me taking my sweet ass time rescuing imoen from the mages or whatever, but the stuff ive seen so far has been interesting)

FAVORITE HEADCANON: i like to imagine that her and minthara share a weird sort of bond over being two of the oldest camp members. they hold INCREDIBLY different ideals, but i feel like they table that for the time being to hang out and have old women shit-talking sessions whenever everyone settles down at camp

CHARACTER ASK GAME

[loser-jpg]

they just woke up :)

Dee stole Leonas shirt, thats why it's big on him. Otherwise he'd never be caught dead in that shade of yellow (clashes w his hair) also if the mangas gonna have leona canon sleep w no shirt thats what im going with too

i didnt feel like fully rendering this rn but i might come back to it one day because i like it a lot. (yes i drew the whole thing from base sketch within the last 3 hrs)

ALSO THIS DRAWING IS PURLEY WHOLESOME AND THERE IS DEFINITELY NO SMALL DETAILS DRAWN IN FOR ME TO GIGGLE ABOUT

[doxiedreg]

So uh

I went unexpectedly hard as fuck on this So the story is that I was hanging out in my discord server with my friends and my friend who i will call bird man, talked how he should draw his dragon character asoma at some point but he doesnt have a design for him yet. I know bird man struggles with drawing and character design and I also just love (re)designing characters for my friends so I innocently asked what he would describe the character to look like, thinking I probably wouldnt be able to make him anything with my current state of mind and body. I get a vague description (which is no problem because it means more creative freedom) and get to work on sketching

This was my first draft that I shared:

Colors were a lil rushed because i hadnt eaten anything and was waiting for groceries to be delivered so i set out to render it once i had my groceries and i had eaten a bit Then after eating and doing the dishes I refined the sketch to this

I changed the head angle and added wings so there wouldnt be as much empty space Then i set out to do the lineart with a new brush, leading to some experimentation before i ended on this:

Now it was time to redo the colors and i decided to change them up a bunch because the original palette didnt really look too nice and was kinda rushed and i knew i could do better. Now I dont have screenshots of my coloring process because I was in the zone and just kept working on it without more breaks until i ended up with the fully rendered version so uh yeah My muse just came out of nowhere, tackled me and then shook me like a rabid dog with a dog toy Can't say I will draw another piece as detailed as this one any time soon or even when i will make another drawing in general as im just feeling out when and what i want to draw or if i want to draw at all Anyway sorry for the long post Basically I wanted to make bird man a gift and my brain just took of running with the idea. Didn't make bird man anything for his birthday because i was very out of it back then so i guess thats why my brain went so hard on it haha I hope you guys enjoy!

[mushroom-winners-proof]

you’d think he’d be happy to see ven but i dunno if you could really call him ‘ven’ anymore actually

[temporarywoundz]

GAHH ITS SO LATE whatever its still easter where im at. bnuyy time:3

[studioboner]

Hi! I actually am wondering about trying watercolors for the first time but feel a little anxious haha.. how you go about drawing on the paper with confidence? Like, watercolor paper isn’t exactly cheap. I think I got the cheapest one avaible from Canson but still the anxiety is real… do you pick very light pencils like 2B so you can sketch veryyy lightly, or before sketching on the paper itself you do a planning sketch in another paper?

Im asking this cos I really love your art and it’s so cool that it’s mostly traditional! And the way you draw Tails is too adorable and consistent while being in your style, it always feels like you have confidence when you draw him.

oh i think this is gonna be a long one

all in all?i have the same anxiety as you. but i've confidense that i can make something good sometimes, but not that i will get it right every time. So i keep trying, but heres some stuff that helped

a warning though, i keep going on and on in this reply and can get pretty negative at times

my watercolor paper i use costs 2 dollars and has 20 sheets so that's 10 cents per sheet. which i feel helps with my anxiety... it's the canson multimedia block too, 140 msg .....

watercolor sketchbooks i'd find online were around 80 or more BRL, and then 20 BRL shipping.... that's 20 USD in total...

but a block of this plus getting it binded costs me 4 USD.....so i think that one [price] helps alot lol.....

as for the confidence.....

i've had enough time to do quite a bit of trad art, specifically ink and watercolors so im USED to the material and now quite as scared to "mess up" as when i first started it.... [hint, i still am] this is one example of a sketch page, they vary in size, and how "done" they are... i dont really worry too much about maintaining a rule of "everything in this sketchbook must be fully rendered " bc it ended up stunting my creativity

i did try the "sketch it onto a sketchbook and then pass it to watercolor paper" approach and tbh...? not really my thing... i've found that to me the first sketch always end up being looser than when i pass it on... i'm always more focused on getting the flow, composition and pose there than i am getting the right details or right lines or colors etc....

like this one, im more happy with the sketch, it's mroe dynamic, mroe fun

i DO sketch stuff on cheaper paper first when it's for trad art commissions though, just bc there i HAVE to make sure the client is getting what they asked

and i do use 2b pencils AND a "soft lead" mechanical pencil, btu tbh it's mroe bc of the feeling of it on paper than for the look of it...

here for example you can see the circle i used to have a basis on where tails would be.. i didnt erase it as i continued painting bc tbh it was just the sketch. i ended up liking it tho

i actually got quite MAD and angry at myself recently bc i noticed how much my sketches were looser in the sketchbooks when i did try the passing onto watercolors thing and i had a full on discussion with a fellow artist about daring myself to be bolder in the future, it has been working well

I sadly have to say though, that figuring out how to build confidense is more of a personal journey, and i cant claim that what worked for me [trusting my first sketch] would work for you.....

It's time, practice, trial and error....

OH, one thing though that DID help me. is:

-There's no art wasted, even if it doesnt turn out how you wanted it, you still learned something.

-Makins these personal art/fanarts isn't some school paper you have to hand it to be graded and then not get it back. You can re-do a piece as many times as you want until you get it right! I have quite a queue of pieces i plan on re-doing in the future bc i didnt like the first ones i did. im not perfect on confidence and i get scared of fully committing to drawings alot, many of them are pale not for choice bc bc i got scared of making my art too saturated and overworking it

i am about to get negative now so stop reading if you dont want to see that.

HERE NOW i's a alot of pieces i made that im unsatisfied with and plan on re-doing one day: too dull, simply way too watered

which led me to make THIS piece and do better colors

i hATE the way i did the lineart here. it's boring, the anatomies are wonky. it's a good concept but i didnt excecuted it as well as i wanted. but this piece has made me just go and try inking MORE so i could make up for it

which lead to this piece here eventually

This one here.... the colors look so muddy it just makes me SAD, bc i had been so scared to use high saturation that i went with the muddier colors by choice, if i had allowed myself to experiment i wonder how happier i'd be about it

which led me to make THIS piece with softer in value and more saturated colors

The colors and blending of this one are too soft and not bold enough for what i had envisioned it, i made it as fanart of a friends fic and it made me feel like i failed my friend and insulted her fic when i finished this. I dont think the piece looks bAD, mind you. i know it looks cute. and good even. But i had such high hopes for it.

which led me to make this one

THIS ONE OH MY GOD HOW I HATE IT. sonics expression is SO creepy hes like a horror movie weirdo , honestly not my best work when it comes to anatomy

so i've been doodlin sonic now and then as practice so that i could make this one eventually

The perspective on knuckles could be better and the characters look out of place on this scene, the background is ok

but in this piece here i was able to get a better harmony between colors, background and whatever sparse linework i threw in

Theres so many more haha but i'll stop for now....

Dont get me wrong i dont ACTUALLY think those pieces are HORRIBLE horrible,,,, i see the flaws in them yes, but theres always something i like too, and i know people like them, and that people wont throw away a whole piece over one small detail that in the end doesnt even affect the overall thing....

i've just been getting into the headspace of "ok. at least this one is done, onto the next"

plus the whole thing i told you of realising my first sketches are looser....

sorry im not too good at talking about this and my points arent very clear, i dont think this is going to be quite the help you expected it to be because the truth is that the struggle with your art is soemthign that doesnt go away no matter what skill you have...

at times to me it feels more like a mentality practice than skill, reasurring myself that it's ok to get it wrong and try again, etc etc....

i used to go to therapy and one of the things we talked about was my perfectionism, how i used to be so scared to mess up a piece. that i wouldnt even start, and wouldnt draw for months. this has been going for years now and hey i've gotten better.

but..... yeah im in the same boat as you.... except mine is no longer just about the paper quality!

Sorry this got so personal now, i hope that this hasnt killed your hopes on getting better at the anxiety. it does get way better haha... trying to force your brain to not judge yourself so harshly is half the battle in my opinion, the practice of drawing is the other half....

good luck i hope you have fun painting, i know i do, i love the process even when i dont like the result, good night and thank you for the question

[kshira]

sweet

kenma wants a taste of you

t//w; ღ ◟ f!reader, eighteen plus content alongside smut & cursing

“already done playing your game?” your fingers start to thread through kenma’s hair as he crawls up to your position on the bed wedging himself between your legs.

“yeah for now just wanna lay with you for a bit” kenma hums back pressing his cheek against your warm thigh, he’s so close between your legs it makes the slightest pulse quake inside you.

his eyes trail to your body heaving rapidly to his touch, kenma lets a smirk grown on his face while his hand strokes the soft skin exposed—his nails scrape at your lower stomach erupting goosebumps.

though being with kenma intimacy wasn’t an issue it was when and how he did it always made the act exhilarating, he was clever to always pounce when you least expected him.

“why are you so nervous acting? i’m just touching you” his hand slides under your shirt creeping towards your breast, he doesn’t even have to harden your buds they’ve already stand to his attention—he gets stiffer at that.

“just touching huh? i know exactly what game you’re playing kenma!” you pant out trying to avoid his piercing eyes staring down at you, embarssed how horny you felt under his presence.

“i can see how dripping wet you are from right here and you don’t have panties on under those shorts, what games are you playing baby?” mentally you wasn’t prepared to get caught knowing normally kenma would ignore your advances but the painstaking bulge outline he wore begged to differ.

your body shuddered watching his yellow eyes glare at you cutting you from being able to speak, he’d caught his mouse right into his trap but what did he want to do now with his caught prey?

“i want to taste you and make you cum on my tongue” a sinful taunt he demands out, you oblige yanking the collar of his shirt towards you bringing him inches from your face, he pounces.

it starts with a kiss to your lips soft and subtle at first moving his hands down your body, blood rushes to your ears as you listen to the pound of your heartbeat while kenma pushes his lips harder on yours darting his tongue over the tattered spots of your lip you’d been chewing on nervously.

he discards your shirt and bra moving his lips down to your collarbone sucking bruises and biting on the soft flesh, you mewl whimpers out letting his body hover over yours—he works the rest of your useless clothes off leaving you naked.

kenma stays fully clothed in contrast to your stark nudity, just to remind you how naked you were and how much in control he really was—how much he had his prey pinned down and under his thumb.

he closes one hand gently around your breast, holding it steady so he could guide your stiff bud in his mouth rolling his tongue around it whilst the other hand lazily explores your bare curves of your waist that led into your hip.

you mindlessly buck your hips forward feeling kenma fingers reach right above your clit, you wondered if he could hear the pulse it let out crying for his touch instead he raked his nails on your inner thigh leaving raised red lines in the wake.

“you’re so needy, you’re already making a mess all over yourself and i’ve barely touched you” he leans down to kiss your neck sinking two fingers in letting his thumb feel your swollen clit and finally listening to your prayers.

“need you to make me cum, make me cum!” you’re wiggling under his touch squirming for more of his long fingers that always hit the spots you never can, kenma chuckles under his breath moving positions to settle over you.

he surrounds your naked body caging your head between his arms, he leans down to deposit subtle kisses down your body before he faces your saturated core.

he places his hands under your legs to spread them wide and by extension so did your cunt, your stomach heaves at the sudden air blowing through you added by the vulnerability of kenma seeing all you had to offer for him.

he knew the endless teasing and lapping of every inch of your body besides the place you wanted him most had rendered your cunny slick and swollen.

as he let his head drift close as possible to your heat, his hot breath fanning right over your clit swelled from lack of touch kenma finally gives and for his pleasure too taking the first swipe of his tongue in you.

he starts with movements of his tongue agonizingly slow taking the time to caress your walls, after he had his fill kenma closes his lips on your bundle of nerves kissing and sucking on it slowly.

but he hadn’t forgotten about the less sensitive places, allowing his tongue to savor the thick slick he’d created on his own from the teasing and also prodding his tongue at your pitiful clenching hole.

your fingers found kenma’s hair rustling through the strands to give ground on the sensations pouring through your body, you can only twitch and jerk to the profound and subtle licks his muscle was doing to you.

he just adds a single finger in your sex working it around the tight walls settling on a curling pace, kenma latches back to dragging his tongue up and down through the wet mess of you.

“kenma please stop teasing” you whimper watching kenma take small licks to your bud, his eyes are completely lust filled disguised in his usual amber color—his sweatpants tighter than ever before with stains colored with himself.

he’d already cum straight in his pants just from pleasing you but he’d never tell you that, he pulls inches away from your cunt stitching a smug grin on his face “what is it?” his voice drips a want but you always come first.

“want to c—cum no more teasing” you have such a pouty face down at him, his sweet kitten teary eyed begging for him to just make her cum—how could he continue to tease and deny her of that?

kenma decided that was enough and be more purposeful pressing his tongue firmly on your bud than on anything else moving his fingers in you at a devastating pace.

no longer being able to control your body you jerk your hips forward smashing your cunny in kenma’s face, a sly smile slips from the curves of his mouth he presses your hips back down in the mattress and hums vibrations into you.

that’s all it takes for you to finally come crashing down from the clouds, you’ve never felt something more powerful overtake your body as the orgasm rushes through, you’ve stopped counting the orgasms rolling out.

even the overstimulation doesn’t phase you watching kenma march through the evident numbness he’d be feeling now from being down between your thighs but to him he didnt care, he wanted just one more to rest on his tongue.

soon enough the erotica feeling fades allowing you to feel the negative feelings of too much of a good thing, you’re hesitant to stop kenma but you can’t stand it any longer.

“ah! ah! ken—kenma too much!” you choke out having to grasp at kenma’s face pulling him off of your cunny, his face glistens with your wetness you wince at how nonchalantly he wipes it off the back of his hand.

“you taste just like fucking candy” that’s all he mummers before he places his head back between your legs and it doesn’t take long before your head is thrown right back into the mattress.

[thedragonofcauldron]

Friend sent me an obviously AI generated image of a couple squid people, one blue and one orange. Attached text is only "fun playable race?"

This friend has liked to do worldbuilding things, and tries ro come up with interesting race/cultural concepts. so I try to look at the picture for any hints, and I got nothing. So I respond that the picture looks fine, but pretty generic - I don't see anything interesting to catch my attention.

He says my criticism is "withering." That he felt he was being "dragged over the coals" for something he had "no control over" and that if he wants a "good looking proxy" this is "the best he can do" without paying for infinite refreshes and

Im

I'm a fucking artist.

I realized a while back, when he first started talking about this stuff, that what he wanted (painterly, fully rendered splash art) was not compatible with what I could give, because I do more stylized, cartoons or sketchy stuff than that. When he told me he didnt like the "AI Art Debate" we had a long discussion and settled on "it wouldnt be that bad except because Capitalism" and when he said he was paying for Midjourney and would show me his "concept art" I dealt with it, because of course he would want pretty things at the push of a button, and even if I won him over on a moral objection, it's not going to stop the AI art thing happening.

But I'm still fucking seething that he'd say to my face that my shoulder shrug response of "kinda generic tho" was --withering-- and then say to me that the mangled corpses of other people's stolen work, complete with the shredded remnants of their signatures in the corner, was the best he could do if he wanted something that looked good.

I'm pretty sure he didn't mean to insult me on as a profound level as I'm feeling it, but jeesus FUCK man did you think at all about who you were talking to before you hit send? At all?

The only reason I'm venting here and not going off on him personally is I'm a bit concerned for his mental health atm, so I'm doing the RESPONSIBLE thing and waiting until I've cooled off a bit and he's in a place where he has other people to support him but FUCK man.