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#i didnt hate it. but i didnt enjoy it either. it was just something to fill time.
hyp3rfixation-h3ll · 9 months
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burgertron HATE ged prep . burgertron PILEDRIVE WHOEVER MADE IT SO THAT YOU HAVE TO TAKE 4 SEPARATE TESTS TO GET A PIECE OF PAPER THAT SAYS YOU DID IT into THE FUCKING DIRT!!!!!!!
#the captain's rambles#if you couldnt tell im having a bit of a rough time <:']#my mom is like “oh well youre Making it stressful it's gonna be okay” I HAVE TO FUCKING DO SHIT WITH VARIABLES#THIS SHIT WOULD BE STRESSFUL EVEN IF I *WASNT* ALREADY DREADING DOING IT#i HATE education i HATE SCHOOL i hate everything this STUPID SYSTEM STANDS FOR and most importantly I LOATHE VARIABLS#whoever put LETTERS ?? in MATH??? Die.#because now i have to fucking figure out what x and y are on a practice test#i dont even HATE math normally. in every other instance of math im actually okay w/ solving questions#ged math ??? is on some shit#FUCK geds man i hate it here . i wanna just fuck off and go do whatever and be productive with something i Actually Enjoy Doing#not having to sit here and do tests so i can get a piece of paper that does nothing but allow me to apply for a community college#<- a place i am EQUALLY unexcited for and dreading#miserable fucking books i have to do work in. and then i gotta do like 4 different equally fucking miserable tests for each subject#and then i have to pray to god i didnt fail and i got the minimum passing grade of AT LEAST 145 out of *200.*#im going to destroy Everything.#i dont want congratulations for doing this shit either because i didnt wanna do it IN THE FIRST PLACE !!!!!!#im only doing this because i HAVE TO to get my parents off my ass about it not because i WANNA#if it were up to me i'd be doing just art and collecting or other hobbies i ACTUALLY ENJOY and i wouldnt be worrying about academics#but we cant have nice things so now i have to stress abt this shit like a college student studying for midterms#rant over. im gonna go eat now . pray 4 me that i dont kill someone /lh
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toonfinatic · 1 year
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Sometimes i think my taste in media is complete ass because i keep genuinely liking a lot of movies and shows that are commonly seen as Shit Tier
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britneyshakespeare · 6 months
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i didn't like the roaring girl by middleton and dekker as much as i was expecting to. i have the feeling it's just one of those you-have-to-watch-it plays but as someone who has read a lot of elizabethan-to-restoration era comedy this year, there are other have-to-watch-it plays that still fare as better entertainment in a reading. basically the selling point to me moll cutpurse as the main character herself, and on that front she didn't disappoint, but every other character in the play had minimal interest to me, or if they did, they only had a little bit of time on the stage. having already known that the plot is that she saves other women from dishonor and remains a single woman by choice, yes, that's still cool—the gender fluidity inspired by the real moll cutpurse is cool. i enjoyed reading about that. but the whole action and plot around it. lackluster.
#im also a bit partial to thinking maybe i just didnt like the editing in my edition?#but i read it in oxford world classics 'the roaring girl and other city comedies'#and that's the first play ive read in that collection but i just. idk i cant tell#when i read something else in that edition ill let you know. but i own other oxford world classics edition of english plays#and i usually like them.#i kinda enjoyed the other middleton comedy i read a few months ago a chaste maid in cheapside#not that that was really groundbreaking but i did find it funnier and the trickery of the plot was more entertaining.#the contrivances were better. and the side characters were waaaay funnier. that guy and his tutor OH my god#tales from diana#yeah if you're interested in the real historical moll cutpurse or any fiction inspired by her? i hate to say it but roaring girl's a skip#or at least it's not the first thing you need to read (it's the first thing i read)#(there must be better work though)#i also havent read enough middleton or dekker to tell whose voice is whose within the writing#but i dont find either of their styles of prose OR verse to be as elegant as shakespeare's.#i found a chaste maid in cheapside to be very modern-friendly in its language and the roaring girl i found. much less so.#i wonder if that has to do with dekker? or maybe just the vocabulary made necessary by the plot was different#hard to know! im not an expert. dont think i have any authority to discern here.#i have to read one of middleton's tragedies sometime. i still havent read women beware women
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luminyan · 9 months
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some thoughts on burnout.
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margumis · 8 months
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I hustled and grinded so hard today!!!
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himbo-harrington · 1 year
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toytulini · 11 months
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I saw Barbie last night, I dont think i have a long film review of it for yall but idk I'll put some thoughts under a readmore I guess?
-Right off the bat, I enjoyed it, it was fun. It was a fun pink poppy romp. Thats about what I expected of it, and thats pretty much what I got
-Its not particularly radical in its gender/feminism takes, its very basic, which, I saw a number of ppl mention that before I saw it so I wasnt expecting anything radical. It couldve done better. it was. fine. im shrug about it i guess.
-My mom enjoyed it and was apparently not expecting any sort of emotional depth or story at all so it caught her off guard. I heard her crying. she cries easy at movies. I'm glad my mom liked it. Maybe she'll absorb some of the very basic feminism it drops idk.
-I knew the Kens adopted patriarchy and introduced it to Barbieland but it felt lile that happened very fast, idk.
-The ending....I. is her going to a gynecologist supposed to be like. shes gotten a vagina by deciding to be human?? or is she trying to schedule a surgery or something? that felt pretty weird to me if im honest, i thought it was gonna be a job interview or smth... Especially with how everyone was like "Barbie is ace (heheeh i agree) cos she has no genitals! (sorry what. excuse me. wanna run that by me again?)" like okay that makes that headcanon reasoning even more dewply uncomfortable that it already was?
-I enjoyed weird Barbie. i wish theyd cast someone else cos iirc ka/te mckin/non was a transmisogynist? unless she apologized or said she changed her mind on the topic since like 2017?? but i havent seen anything? idk. just. annoying to keep platforming these ppl. i guess theres probably other actors involved that have shit views of trans ppl. whatever i guess.
-I did dress up a little. i feel like my outfit had Weird Barbie Vibes. maybe ill post a pic.
-I did enjoy it and it had a number of shots and or transitions i liked, i think the one with the disco ball to the moon or whatever was enjoyable.
-god we really are so weird about barbie
-it just feels factually incorrect that all dolls pre barbie were baby dolls? idk. im sure it was the most common kind. but idk. not to be weird about The History Of Dolls but like. the porcelain dolls from the Victorian era. idk if those count as baby dolls. iirc those were to help young girls practice prepping dead bodies of loved ones for funerals or smth??? but i guess porcelain dolls have a sort of babyish look about them. and are fragile so you cant play rough with them.
-Like i Know its a 2hr long toy commercial for mattel but also god that cant be right. even if they werent filling the same niche as barbie as idk basically a fashion doll? there had to be other dolls right?
-I know the flat foot thing is Supposed to be over the top and silly for them all to get upset about but also tbh. as a bitch with falling arches the way some of yall make jokes about flat feet still is uh. well. rude. but also lmao man. the day my arches started hurting for no reason while i was barefoot did sorta feel emotionally like her feet falling to the ground lol.
-i want to introduce barbie to margot robbie's harley quinn owo. i think that would be Fun :3
-i want Ken's job. how do i do Beach as an occupation.
-I actually liked how they handled Ken and Barbie's rship til the end. i feel weird about that ending overall and also it feels weak wrt her dynamic as Ken. they make him grapple w her not reciprocating his feelings the same way but then she just leaves barbieland anyway?? and ig they dont get to explore a friendship or qpr dynamic. ok. its fine i guess.
-her saying she has no genitalia felt so transgender in a way im not sure it was intended to. ken saying he has all of the genitalia felt even more transgender. headcanoning them both as extremely transgender in fun weird new ways and no one can stop me.
-Allan is my favorite character i think. bro me too
-bibbleless movie. add bibble.
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#toy txt post#barbie spoilers#barbie movie#everyone kept trying to get my dad to come see it and like.i get it.but genuinely he would hate it even if not for his conservative bullshit#he hates goofy fun movies. OR. he wouldve actually enjoyed it a little bit and been REALLY ANNOYING ABOUT IT bc he would never admit it#and insist he hated it#and hed enjoy the ken patriarchy thing too much#basically im very glad we didnt drag my dad along cos i have to live with him and i think he would be insufferable about it#he has no appreciation for any kind of whimsy or fun! he would hate this silly movie#also this was the first time id been in a movie theater since pre2020.#i enjoyed dressing up in a silly little outfit. but i think i wouldve been happier to wait for it to be out of theaters tbh. theaters teste#tested my patience even before covid like oh im gonna sit uncomfortably in this chair and crane my neck up at this screen and i cant pause#it and theres no captions and people are Eating all around me and now i go and its all the same but im the only one wearing a mask so i dont#get to have a lil snack either and i still have to hear ppl eating around me and part way thru the movie someone across the aisle was making#some kind of horrible very wet and loud gulping noise with their drink or Something?? and i did feel violent about it#i would never be violent about it but my god do i feel like biting. you know. anyway. not sure if ill bother seeing any more movies#in theater now. i just would like them at home. idk#i will give props to barbie. it was like kovie theater loud but at least it wasnt giant major booms and inaudible ass dialogue
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mrfoox · 1 year
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God im... Probably too nice but it's fine
#miranda talking shit#I wanted to talk about a thing but...noticed quickly that they were not in a good mood/mindset so ofc i didnt even bring it up#I mean the talk was good anyway. I think he... Needed that. We talked about feelings and how to handle them#And at one point he stopped and turned to me and went 'that thing you said about getting another perspective on it... Thats smart. Thats#A very good idea. Im going to try that' not like im good at dealing with emotions. But i try to and that's a thing i know have helped me at#Times. Discussed our goals/dreams and well... I cant agree with his or understand it at all but as long as he thinks thats what he wants#Then im not going to argue. Love how he always drone on about he doesn't care about anyone or what anyone thinks but still wants to hear#What i think. I told him that was funny to me. Bc imo one doesnt ask about something one doesn't care about or have any interest in...#He's been a lot more... Curious about what i think about things and its fun. Personally im just fairly weak in my opinions. Not many things#I think are worth fighting over or arguing over tbh. So im used to just listening and nodding. But that may annoy the shit out of him lmao#That might be why he asks me about my opinion bc im so quiet and passive . But yeah very interesting to discuss#Mainly bc i havent heard anyone have that kind of opinion and goal of their own so it was fun?#But yeah ngl i love hearing people say im wise or smart. Bc i obviously dont hear that often. So when i do im like ah ... Thank you 😭#Its bc im not book smart but i guess im emotionally smarter or whatever. In general i just enjoy making people think about other perspectiv#Bc i always do that and enjoy it. Think many are unintentionally stuck in their own way of seeing things and everything become so black and#White. To me the world isnt . I wish it was but no everything is gray with many shades lol#Also me doing and example: 'i dont think everything is your fault oliver. I think its my own'#Oliver serious: yeah well i dont think its your fault either Miranda.' i almost cried like... He didn't have to say that i was obviously#Doing an example and joking ? But he still ... Said that and im like...thabk you for reassuring me...#And he really went 'i fought hard to be the one that came by here today. It was going to be another guy which me and magnus hate. So i#Fought hard to be able to come here instead' and im like 🥺... Thank you... I wasnt there to fight but thank you for doing that...#I mean im guessing he also enjoys our conversations so i dont think it was a selfless thing but it made me happy :')#If i could have any say I'd basically only have magnus and oliver come by me but i know thats not how it works but it made me happy that he#Went out of his way to get it changed. I need to thank him again next time... At least he seemed to be a little lighter leaving than when#He came. So i hope our discussion was a bit helpful at least. Something had happened and i asked him if he wanted to talk about it#And he said no first and then 'maybe. We'll see' which to me is major bc uh.... He usually dont ever talk about anything happening actively#To me. Usually he comes and shares it 6 month later or something. So... Trust increase? I hope im rubbing off on him in healthier mental#Ways. Considering he's gone from saying nothing about himself to trauma dumping ... I guess something has changed. God i just#Want to pick his brain about everything for real. He has such diffrent values and priorities than im used to and anyone i know have. I love#Hearing all about it. Ive told him before but if we didn't meet through this... Unusual way. We'd never would have naturally. And if we did
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t3ag3rs · 2 months
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♡ bakugou headcannons !
i felt like a hopeless romantic today so why not have some random headcannons?
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i personally feel like bakugou wouldnt be looking for a relationship because of his ambition to wanna be a hero. so he kinda has that "itll come my way when its time" mentality with dating.
dont hate me but i think bakugou is the type of person to not "fall in love at first sight"
if he does find you interesting though, its because of the sole reasons of either your quirk or your personality. thats it- no other reason.
secretly probably has a thing for thick/curvy/muscular women, you cannot tell me otherwise.
once you two start talking more he'll secretly enjoy the way you yap when it comes to things you like or about something you genuinely cant stand.
i think bakugou wont be the one to make the first move unless like mina or someone tells him that you secretly have a fat crush on him as well.
on the other hand, if you were to confess to him he would try to act as nonchalant as possible but would be embarrassed, happy + his ego would definitely inflate.
once you both go public it is OVER for all the other "extras". bakugou would be showing you off left and right- "hey you see that hottie over there? guess what? shes mine- now look the other way!"
would be lowk scared that his brash personality would make you leave him for someone else, but you would always insist he was all you ever needed and thats all he needed to go back to the cocky bastard you know and love.
is a SUCKER for random compliments and physical touch. you hold his hand on the way out the class? instant butterflies. "your eyes are so pretty suki..!" fuck. he was whipped for you.
bakugou loves it when you massage his back or shoulders after a hard day of training. oh, and when you run your hands through his hair? hes on cloud nine.
loves cooking for you, but leaves the baking to you. he absolutely CANNOT bake for his life. would get too frustrated after having to do the same step multiple times because the recipe called for it and would just end up combining all the steps in one.
wont admit it but he loves when you use him as your walking heater. "bakugou im crampinggggg..." "here..." he says as he places his palm on your stomach as you sigh in content. he cant help but find it adorable when you force yourself on him if he doesnt do it himself.
last but not least... sleeping. hates being the small spoon because it makes him feel unimportant :( will sometimes stay up just to see your cheeks squished on to his chest as you sleep- dont be surprised to see photos of you like that on his phone.
slow mornings with bakugou is so sweet and soft. he would definitely press small kisses to your neck after each compliment he would say about you. only when youre asleep ofc. if you wake up and show even the slightest sign of knowing what he did, he would take a pillow and smack your face with it 100%. all with love though ofc. besides, its not like you didnt know about it for months now.
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lol idek if this is good since its my first time but uhhhh lmk what yall think.
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rui-drawsbox · 5 months
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remembering the most memorable mc's (with canon appearences) from the otomes i played
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all of them are phone games btw. and looong rambling about the games after the cut!
Mystic messenger has been in my radar since i was in elementary school but i played it for the first time after the spanish traslation came out (2017 i think?) Seven shaped my type in such a specific way that im not really sure why loved him so much (it was the whole "he loves you in every route" stuff). I like a lot the default mc, most of the fandom did and that was enough to won me over
Rosa is top tier protagonist tbh, Tears of Themis has really good story and characters (as far i played, not a lot but i enjoyed it) The reason i'm not that much of a fan is bc the game is expensive asf and not very free to play friendly. You're either lucky or have a big wallet with the gacha
i miss my wife man(Marius)
Ephemeral has to be one of the best free to play otomes i've played tbh (if my memories aren't tricking me, it's been years) Good artwork, good storyline, good characters and as far i remember you can unlock one chapter of the character route per day (mabye two days, idk) and the mc's background has an important role in every route (she's a zombie! she's pretty now but eventually will fall apart, aaaaand her story gets expanded in one of the routes!) ((shes also adorable)) There's also a sequel, if you wanted more of the boys! never finished it but i'd recommend it
Honorable mentions! Huellitas Mágicas is a great game! has a really good cast with well fleshed arcs for all the characters, even the scondary ones! The game shines more for the development of *all* the characters rather than just the protagonist/ml. The main theme is overcoming insecurities! Each love interest has a different way of helping our (very insecure) protagonist and helping different characters with their own struggles :DD
10/10 i recommend this game if you want something cute and can be finished in a few hours, if i remember right. It also has a sequel! with like- 12 new love interests, also never finished it bc i didnt found a guide that worked for me but ñek
A3! is my canon event as a gacha player. Discovered the english/global server, tried it and got bored, left it for a few months, tried it again and fell in love, noticed the game was going to shut down bc low sales -HAHA :(-. This is not a otome btw, this is here bc Izumi has to be one of my favorite protagonists in gacha games ever
last but not least! Obey me! Shall we date? oh dear, what have they done to you :(. The original had intense powercreep to force you to pull cards -multiple times bc that makes them stronger- and even now, the company showed a lot of favoritism to some characters, leaving others to dust bc they don't make the same money. Not to say, they released a new game with the same cast and new main story (ignoring all what happend before). And let me say: THEY LITERALLY WANTED TO KILL THE ORIGINAL GAME.
Nightbringer might be a decent game but i don't trust the devs anymore, i still remember what happend with Asmo's birthday right after the release, and honestly i don't want to sit there watching how they disrespect my favorite characters again and again and again. Loved the characters hated the devs. 5/10 you can play it if you want but i don't recommend spending money on it, it's not worth it, just search #obey me here in tumblr and enjoy the amazing fanworks that i can assure you have a lot more love than the game itself
i miss my wife man (mammon and levi)
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purplestars222 · 3 months
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Period comfort with hazbin characters
ft alastor, lucifer, fallen!adam and husk
gn afab reader! no y/n used, and you arent in a relationship with alastor, just besties <3 all the other boys have a crush on you.
there will be more parts, may not be period comfort tho, just more hazbin/helluva characters comforting the reader while theyre sick
cw: mentions of period sex, adam is chubby, slight ooc
mdni please<3
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Alastor
The smell of blood draws alastor to your room, hes a little worried that you're hurt, but its nothing he cant fix. As he enters your room, and sees you curled up in the fetal position he goes and sits next to you
"Darling, whats the matter? It's a wonderful day and you're spending it in bed! I believe Charlie is baking cookies! You-"
"go away alastor. i'm on my period."
"Well why didnt you say so!"
Alastor disappears into his shadow, and returns a few minutes later with a hot water bottle, a bottle of cold water, some pain meds and dark chocolate. He throws the items on your bed and smiles at you expectingly. You shoot him back a smile of appreciation. Even tho alastor and you had your moments, he's still a good friend when he needs to be.
Lucifer
Lucifer has a crush on you, and its no secret either. Every day he sits next to you during breakfast, he always makes sure you eat enough. He always does Charlie's silly little trust exercises with you, just being in your vicinity makes him happy. When you dont come down for breakfast, he gets worried, he made your favourite for you- pancakes! He decides to take some to your room. When he enters, and sees you curled up on the bed, he sits the tray of pancakes on your bedside table and sits next to you
"Hey, you didnt come down for breakfast, are you okay??"
you shake your head no, and he seems really concerned. He hates seeing you in pain, its horrible. Suddenly he remembers something- lillith acted like this when she first came to hell, periods. In the garden of eden, lilliths periods didnt hurt her, but as soon as she came to hell, it felt like her uterus was stabbing her, luckily luci fixed it
"Can i help?"
You stare up at him, eyes slightly watering from the pain and nod your head, anything to get rid of this. Luci carefully peels back your blanket and rests his hands on your groin, you shiver at the feeling of his warm hands, its nice. Theres a bright glow of golden light, and suddenly, the pains gone, the period pain at least, you still have a headache, and you're still pretty exhausted. You pull luci into a hug, he hugs back, giving you a kiss on the head
"Want me to run you a bath, sweetheart?"
"Yes please"
Lucifer hops up and heads into your ensuite, he starts a bath, making sure to get some really nice smelling soap and bath salts. He puts some rose petals in the tub to make it look pretty, and a couple of rubber duckies. Lucifer cares so much, hes so sweet.
Adam
Adam doesn't really understand the whole 'periods thing'. They didn't have them in heaven, so he doesn't really know what to do when you wake up grabbing your stomach. He pulls out his phone and decides to have a look online to see if there's anything he can get that will help, theres products from the vee's, but he doesnt trust those fuckers. He scrolls across an article that says orgasms can help with period cramps. When adam first shoots the idea at you, you're hesitant, period sex isnt something you've done before, and it seems a little scary, but you let him. He puts a towel under the both of you, and he makes sure that you 100% wanna do this before he gets started. When you guys have done, your pains are pretty much gone. he pulls you on top of him and you just lay there for awhile, enjoying the warmth from adams soft belly <3
Husk
Husk isn't too educated with this stuff either, but he knows how to take care of someone when they're sick. He doesn't realise you have your period at first, he just thinks it's a stomach bug. He gets you some chicken noodle soup and a few painkillers, when you explain to him that you have no appetite because of how bad the pain is, it suddenly clicks in his brain what's happening. He gives you a small kiss on the forehead, then walks out. He goes to charlie asking for help, she gathers together a basket full of snacks, pads, tampons, a menstrual cup, period underwear, hot water bottle with a cute cat cover and some noise cancelling headphones, in case things get overwhelming. Husk brings it back to you and lets you snuggle into him, something he doesn't allow very often. You spend the next few days cuddled up in bed, playing with husks ears watching movies. He helps you when you need to shower, and also keeps your hot water bottle hot. he just really enjoys taking care of you, not that he'd admit that
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rosezza · 22 days
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࿐ Cocaine and Roses
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-r
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warnings: dark!rafe, choking, age gap! reader is 19 and rafe is 28, strong language, use of drugs, violence, force
"get off me." Rafe sneered as he pushed you away from him. dipping his head back down to the table. sniffing up the remains of white substance he had even tho you didnt want him to, your opinion didnt matter to him when it came to his cocaine use.
"Rafe please– i dont like you doing that when im around.." you mumbled quietly, careful not to get on his nerves. "dont care." he sniffled as he wiped his nose, grabbing the small bag filled with white substance, ready to sniff more.
but before he could, you stepped in the way. snatching the bag from his hand and taking a step back, probably not the best idea at all. but you didnt wanna stand there and watch when your unhinged boyfriend kept sniffing coke up his nose.
Rafe immediately popped up from his chair, his big veiny hands clasping the edge of the table to get him up faster. "y/n." his eyes narrowed as he glared at you. he stepped closer, getting up in your face. the air tense.
you swallowed "yea?.." you said quietly, acting calm. he scoffed and bit the inside of his cheek "easy or hard way?" he said firmly, his voice deep as he got closer.
"im not giving it back to you" you shook your head. he didnt answer as his hand moved to your throat, his cold fingers gently caressing your skin as he pushed you up against the table behind you. "actin so fuckin smart, huh?" he tilted his head slightly as his fingers tightened slightly around your throat. causing your lips to part.
you swallowed your own spit, letting go of the coke. he noticed, but he didnt let go. "Rafe.." you said quietly "i gave it back" you added. but instead of letting you go, he only increased the pressure around your throat, slightly cutting off your airways. your lips parted more, your breathing started to be heard.
"i like seeing you squirm." Rafe said calmly as he held you in place. his eyes searching yours, noticing the fear in them. he enjoyed it, a wave of pleasure went through his body as his own hand kept you from breathing normally. it felt good to hurt you. he was sick. but you still loved him, in hopes of one day fixing him. even tho deep down you knew that wasnt possible. not at all
"R-Rafe-.." you gasped for air. your hands moved to his veiny ones. trying to peel him off your throat. but he was too strong. his grip only tightened. he kept you pushed against the table, his other hand on the table beside you, keeping you in place as he continued choking you.
he snapped back to reality when he noticed tears welling up in your eyes, he immediately pulled his hand back. you took a deep breath as he let go, your breathing shaky. a tear ran down your cheek. he sighed and snaked his arm around your waist, pulling you against him gently. "im sorry." he cleared his throat as he held you close to him, he felt guilty. he hated that he lost control sometimes. especially to those he loved. you stayed quiet, but tears kept slowly running down your face as you hid your face in his shoulder, your tears staining his shirt. but he didnt mind. he caused this anyways.
he kissed your neck softly, his warm lips touching your skin before picking you up, your legs wrapping around him, he made sure to be gentle with you. "how about we go get something to drink and then we can watch a movie or something princess, hm?" Rafe said softly as he brought you out of the room. carrying you in his arms
you knew he was nowhere near good. he was the devil, he just didnt have a red tail and horns. but you couldnt help but love him. atleast he treated you well after hurting you. most people called you crazy for dating him, but who cares? you loved him anyways. and he wouldnt let you stop loving him either
౨ৎ
taglist: @necroflame @rafeownsriley
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drdemonprince · 30 days
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I was talking to some relatives about our comparative sensitivities to substances. As a young person, I had the classic Autistic hyper-sensitivity to drugs. Two beers could knock me out. Anything past that was disgusting to me; at Ohio State I was constantly hiding half-drunk solo cups of Natty Light on bookshelves and in basements because I couldn't keep up with anyone else. I had no taste for weed or anything harder because I hated how tired it made me feel. At the same time, I always remained lucid on substances. I was always the person who could snap into practical, problem-solving thinking and put on a sober face if a member of my party got in trouble for pissing in the street or started fighting or ran afoul of the cops.
growing up, my friends were always trying to get fucked up so they could escape their brains and their realities, and then falling into huge problems because they'd done so. they'd get drunk and piss themselves. drive drunk home. fall in love with some dude on cocaine ten years older than them and then have to bust open a garage window with their fist when he was freaking out threatening himself. they'd blow out their caffeine receptors on weird drug store cold medicine and not be able to drink coffee for years. they'd drag themselves hung over to work or have to run a 5k still stoned. i didnt understand why they'd be so irrational. i was always the person sitting on the floor, a little tired but fine, watching them wrestle eachother drunkenly or cry when they'd started taking whatever drug it was to make themselves feel good. i didn't understand why someone would choose to weaken themselves and make themselves feel even worse. but nothing ever really felt good to me. i was just a flat line.
My sensitivity has changed thanks to testosterone, specifically because of muscle growth. I can throw back a number of drinks that startles me now, and feel almost nothing. A few months back a friend was being very generous with the boozy slushies at Sidetrack and the shots. I don't know how many I had. But more than I'd had to drink in many, many years at least. Which is probably still a small-seeming number to the real professionals, maybe something like 6 or 7 drinks total. But I felt completely fine, nothing past a little silly. I ate a taco on the curb, sipped some water, and then I was fine.
My sister is barely feels substances at all. She can't tell when pain medications work. In college, during a spat with a sorority "little" of hers who began to stalk her, she spent every afternoon at the bar downing shots from a shot-club list in exchange for a t-shirt, and it didn't affect her. She hates food and eats very little because of probably ARFID, but she will drink just about anything, and can do so in abundance if she wants to. But she rarely wants to, because it doesn't make her feel any more fucked up than a couple of cocktails. She smoked weed and took edibles sporadically for years without them ever kicking in or doing anything to her.
I am reminded of that story I read about the guy with really high social anxiety whom the CIA gave like ten tabs of acid, as part of some fucked up experiment, and he remained completely lucid, polite, present, and normal-seeming the entire time. Because he was just such a fucking tight-assed neurotic person that he couldn't let go of his iron-tight grip on reality. After his 12th acid tab, he got a little bit sleepy and went off to bed, or something like that. (If someone remembers this story and can find a link, send it to me!).
I don't know that I'd be the same, I've never tried, acid, but I imagine that it would play out something like that. I'd clench my firsts tight onto reality and keep masking as normal until I reached the absolute fucking brink of my ability to cope, and then I wouldn't enjoy the high, i'd just be so fucked up that I needed to go lie down. Mushrooms didn't affect me much, either.
I can't seem to escape my constant neurotic rumination and compulsive need to attend to the reactions of others and modulate myself. I wish I could let loose, but then again, when a person says they want one thing and they behave in a completely different way, trust the behavior. Clearly I don't want to lose control. I'm obsessed with maintaining my perspective. The one time I got properly zooted high at Nowadays in New York I nearly lost my phone, and I don't want to risk anything like that again. Anxiety is such a protective thing. we evolved to survive not to be happy. and all told i'm pretty good at keeping shit together, looking after myself, looking after others, and not fucking things up. my anxiety and rigidity has spared my ass a whole lot of problems, saved me a lot of money, helped my career, helped me escape arrest. i wish i could relax once in a fucking while but also i dont. im in love with what a tight ass sharp edged tense little bitch i can be. i dont know who the alternative version of me even would be. if i were to let properly loose and get sloppy it would feel like some abdication of duty, because I know that I *can* keep it together no matter what, and it seems so many people can't.
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xavviquz · 5 months
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♥︎ you and satoru are teachers at jujutsu tech.. what could go wrong? ♥︎ - fem!reader x satoru gojo
warnings // !!MDNI!! semi public sex (reader n gojo are in the supply closet), quicky, praise, breast fondling, nicknames (sweetie, love, baby, ect.), gojo fingers the reader :P , unprotected sex, humiliation(?)
notes // you two are in a secret relationship bcs yk.. whats better than secret relationships right?? megumi is the only one who knows because of gojos big mouth. anyhow, hope you enjoy ♡ ! wc: 1.6k
synopsis: gojo cant help himself around you when you look so serious and professional.. so whats the harm in a little fun in work?
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you and gojo were teachers at jujutsu tech, teaching the first years about cursed spirits, techniques, weapons and what not.
the milisecond you had applied for the job after years of killing cursed spirits yourself, you didnt know what sorts of mess you were getting into. bickering, arguing, constant chatting was NOT something you wanted to hear your whole life mostly every day. although gojo had a way of making you feel better durring those horrid days.
as you were in the middle of flipping through endless paper work, your hair tied up in a bun and those glasses of yours falling off every now and then as you rest your cheek on your hand. your hand began to feel like mush, your handwriting getting sloppier and unreadable. as you were just drifting off to sleep, the sound of the door sliding wide open, the clacking of shoes came hitting the dark wood floors.
“someones workin’ hard.” satoru walked over to your desk, kneeling down, resting his head in his arms and on your table with a smile. “c’mon sweet stuff, hate to see ya working so hard..” he gave a pouty expression, his blue eyes boring into yours.
“you know i have work to do, ‘toru.. and plus, what if we get caught? then what do we do?” you shrugged, rubbing your temples, clearly agitated at the moment.
satoru rolled his eyes, glancing around the room as he got up from the position he was in. and there it was. a storage closet. satoru pointed his thumb into the direction of the closet, but before he could bother getting one measly word out, you shut him down.
“we are NOT going in there, and we are not having sex. can’t you atleast see i’m a little occupied??” great. now you were agitated and horny just at the thought of it. your panties were slightly soaked already, but you refused to admit something like that.
“c’mon baby, please..? for me.” satoru groaned, slumping his walk toward you as he crouched down at your chair, placing his head on your thigh. you sighed, glancing down at him. he always knew exactly what you wanted. even if you didnt exactly tell him.
satoru started rubbing the insides of your thigh, awaiting your answer with a small whine. and in what position were you to refuse him? you were horny and upset. what other ways to clear your mind than sex? your eyes rolled over to his, looking at him so helpless and needy. “fine. 15 minutes, nothin’ more, nothin’ less. i dont want complaining either, ‘toru.”
satoru immediately stood up, motioning a zipper on his mouth, locking it, and throwing away the key.
as soon as you rised from your chair, he picked you up as if you were a feather, wrapping your legs around his waist. satoru carried you over to the storage closet. it was lit by one small lightbulb at the top of the ceiling, flickering as it got turned on.
as much as you’d love to have sex with satoru, the most of your worries were the first years coming in and looking for you two. what if they looked in the closet? or maybe even heard your moans slipping from your mouth and into the filth of the situation? and—
your thoughts were interrupted by satoru kissing the crook of your neck, peppering small kisses on the back. soft hums left your throat as you moved your head more to the side. you held satoru’s cheek, carressing it as he continued planting his kisses.
his hand slithered up to the buttons of your uniform, one by one becoming undone. satoru’s mouth left your neck, cocking his head to the side as he looked at each button snapping off. you undid the bottom half, taking off the jacket. satoru didnt even bother undoing each button when it came to the white top you wore. your bra was practically showing through the clothes anyways.
few seconds later, he ended up using his cursed energy to rip that top in half. the breeze hit your back, shivering as goosebumps formed. “‘toru! you dont have to keep ripping my clothes apart.” you snapped your head back at him, giving the other a grouchy look.
satoru rolled his eyes at your reaction, unzipping his pants. “you aren’t gonna let me do all the work, are you?” he leaned back on a shelf, looking down at your ass while you slowly slid down your panties, leaving yourself wet and bare for him. satoru smirked at the sight before him, a hand trailing up your thigh and to your cunt.
two fingers entered your pussy, searching for that same spot that had pleasured you countless of times before. a moan slipped past your lips immediately. with an arched back, you looked back at satoru who was clearly getting off at your small whimpers and moans, along with the sounds of his fingers thrusting in your cunt.
as he continued to thrust his fingers in your pussy, his hand slipped down to his boxers, jerking himself off at the sight of you. “sshit baby, you look so perfect..” he whispered underneath his breath, rolling his head back.
“mmphf.. ‘toru.. just put it in please..” the thrusts were rhythmatic and relentless. satoru knew your insides like the back of his hand. suddenly, his fingers dug deeper into your cunt, making you throw your head back in pleasure, covering your mouth to prevent any louder noises.
your eyes were almost crystal clear, faint sniffling was heard while you whined out satoru’s name. as each thrust dug into your insides, the more it slowly killed you that satoru wasnt inside by now.
satoru rolled his head back as he continued jerking himself off. soon, his hand left his cock and went up to your bra, unclipping it as he continued to press into your cunt. “good girl.. so fuckin’ wet f’me..” he whispered in your ear, slightly bending your body down as he leaned on you.
he fondled with your breasts and continued thrusting his fingers into you. the more that this continued, the more you found yourself shaking and whimpering his name pathetically. “mmnh.. ‘toru please..” your cries for satoru was like music to his ears.
satoru pulled down his boxers, slowly edging into you. his hand made his way to your mouth, sticking the two fingers he fucked you with down your throat.
just as he was about to spout out some nonsense about how good you’re taking him, three sets of footsteps came into the classroom. the two of you could hear faint talking and desks moving. though you two knew exactly who they were.
nobara, megumi, and yuji. you looked back at satoru but he only smirked, starting to thrust into you slowly. you moaned onto his fingers, trying to keep yourself silent from the pleasure you felt.
satoru’s hand left your breast, holding your hips in place just so he could thrust into you all the more deeper and faster. “hha.. i wonder what the students would think if they saw you like this..” he said it with such intention as if he were actually gonna open the door and fuck you raw infront of them.
you shook your head, your mind fuzzing up at the little things. you could barely take note of what he was saying.
satoru cocked his head to the side, looking at your face which had droop dripping from your chin. “perfect.. mind if i take a picture?” you didnt even have to answer. he already knew whag you were gonna say anyways.
he pulled out his phone from his back pocket, taking a selfie with him kissing the back of your neck, and you completely fucked out of your mind. of course as satoru was.. he forgot to put his phone on silent.
a flash came on, blinding your eyes but you were too mindless to care. click! .. you immediately looked at him, your mind breaking from the sudden trance you were in.
“did you hear that?” yuji looked over to the closet, looking around at megumi and nobara to see if they had heard that same click sound.
“i did now that you mention it, it came from over there didnt it?” nobara pointed over to the closet, looking at the slightly opened door. it was cracked open just enough for them to stick their eyes through and look around.
satoru chuckled, whispering down to your ear. “i wonder what that noise could be..” he said as he continued thrusting after a little while of being silent and still. his hands gripped at your waist as you tried to match his pace without making so much noise at the same time.
as yuji and nobara got more curious about the click sound, they got closer and closer to the storage closet.
megumi glanced at the two, looking at his phone, walking up behind the two. “c’mon, gojo said we gotta meet him outside in the front.” as if. satoru was still fucking your brains into mush, praising each part of your body. he started to whisper small ‘i love you’s. he grew close to cumming, begging you to cum together as if you havent already.
“please baby.. f’me okay? together.” he whispered under his breath as you nod, satoru smiled at your agreement, cumming inside of you right after. you were completely drained and leaking. you could barely stand at all really.
satoru helped you with your clothes, giving you his white button up, putting back on your jacket. as soon as the both of you were done getting changed, he sat you down back at your office.
“see you at home, baby, dont be late.” he said in a cheery smile as he waved goodbye. you smile and nodded back, realizing what else you didnt have on. your panties. you sighed and hit your head on your desk. panty stealing thief.
a/n: please consider reblogging, liking, and commenting recommendations!
ⓒ 2024 xavviquz - dont copy, repost, or modify
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the-s1lly-corner · 7 months
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Hewo I know Halloween is over but may I have TADC cast x Jack Skellington!Reader? Plus their dog also got transported and turned into Zero.
Imagine an 11ft tall skeleton rising out the giant ballpit thing
If Jax or Caine pisses them off they do the scary face thing
TADC cast x jack skellington! Type reader!
I dont mention the dog much since I dont really. Have many ideas for them <\3
Also I have not seen nightmare before Christmas in YEARS so UHUH! This may be a bit off
Written on mobile
I'm down with the sickness but the sickness is not down with me (too sore to sleep)
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CAINE:
You guys walk bubble and your dog together/j
Actually no that would be.. kind of funny.. I can definitely see caine doing that if hes trying to befriend you
Chaotic gentleman (is that a thing? Honestly I'm just basing the gentleman part on the fact caine says stuff like "my dear" and goes out of his way to welcome new circus members but uhuh) and calm gentleman duo
Things happen
Honestly I think you would balance him out, like either he tones down or you compliment his personality enough to make it more bearable to others
POMNI:
Similar to the skeleton reader post, pomni is a little offput by you being a skeleton. It's like how you instinctively get freaked out when you see an exposed brain, usually means somethings very wrong. Same case with your bones I think. At least for pomni while shes getting used to things. Though your gentle and kind demeanor really helps ease things along, and pomni finds herself comfortable around you!
AND you come with a dog? Tbh I can see pomni being a dog person
... If that's your dog, assuming it's not an NPC, does that mean your dog got a mini headset...?
RAGATHA:
Kind lady and kind person. You guys kind of just brighten up the room whenever you two are around, and even more so if you're together... though, that isn't saying much given the general attitude of the others..
You both tend to band together to look out for the others during IHAs, I think
Let's you rattle on about your interests; I'm sure most others would let you do the same, but I think Ragatha would actually be actively engaged in it! I think Kinger would be too...
Sets you three down in a corner and observes
JAX:
Writing this down first before I forget but Jax would do an exaggerated fake scream when you do the scary face thing. I don't think jax would be all the phased by it. If you're a skeleton you're cursed with him trying to undo your bones, very similar to the TADC cast x skeleton reader post from a few days ago
Personality wise? Jax is going to try to find your limits and break them. Oh you're a gentleperson who handles things with grace? Not for long.. unless you have the patience and forgiveness of a god
KINGER:
I think he would enjoy your prescence! Just dont do the face thing around him, hes probably gonna freak out even if it's not directed towards him. Kinger doesnt strike me as the type to like scary things..
Pets your dog, a lot
Emotional support animal/j but actually I can see him becoming attatched to your dog
Not much to be said here but I'm chalking that more up to me being tired <\3
ZOOBLE:
Is a little annoyed by your enthusiasm to learn as much as you can about whatever topic ha syour interest; bonus if you're current interest is the digital world and trying to figure out all the ins and outs of it
....they're more of a cat person, I think... ir maybe a snake person... or reptile person in general.. doesnt hate your dog, though
Can at least appreciate your mannerisms and politeness
I can see you two being decent friends , I think
GANGLE:
Another one where I think you guys could make decent friends. Honestly, I didnt write this to be romantic (though some of these can be interpreted as such!) But I wholeheartedly believe gangle would develop a crush on you. I mean, come on! You're a gentleman, you're a lil quirky, you're kind and curious, and so on! Bonus if you look the part, too. I have a hc lying around somewhere where I believe gangle used to play dating sims in the real world and tbh. She would definitely go after characters that reflected you... and oh look youre a real person, hell yeah
It was either characters like you or the dark mysterious ones
But maybe I'm hella projecting onto gangle
Gangle is our x reader enjoyer rep/hj
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arty-cakes · 7 months
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being both a bretta and zote fan is so so painful actually ppl will always find some way to make sure they never interact again or use the latter to (seriously) demonize zote for stuff he never did while also mischaracterising bretta and i 💥👊💥🥊👊🤜🤛💥🤜👊🤜💥🤜💥🥊 🤜👊👊👊🤜💥 im not good at putting into words why this is frustrating
either make them divorced mortal enemies or reluctant friends who actually enjoy eachother's company either of those are funnier but why make up stuff that didnt happen and then pretend its canon and the reason why they should never talk again..... thats so boring
i was gonna leave this in the tags but no i wanna talk
i know im complaining here but its honestly not an issue i see a-lot like i do see them being enemies or friends in fancontent and to the ppl who do that ily very much. its always cool. and people like my dynamic too and when they let me know it makes me rlly happy lol
but i feel like people need to understand that not every situation is good or bad sometimes they are just. situations. like bretta and zote
and i still feel like there's this general misunderstanding about zote that needs to be cleared up which is that he's not actually.... a liar lol. or i mean the only person he lies to is himself and he's not pretending to be a knight he really BELIEVES he's a knight. don quixote coded like he rlly believes he killed the vengefly king and won the colosseum tournament and whatever. all confirmed by his dreamnail dialogue like it makes it REALLY CLEAR that he believes what hes saying. he's actually having delusions thats why most people in hollow knight choose to help him out its why he cant process life threatening situations. he's still annoying just because of his general personality but NOT because of his delusions. (i'd say something profound about how usefulness ties to worth in most people's subconscious and its rooted in ableism and its why zote hate is so loud and normalized but i dont know how to) basically he is not out here 'manipulating' anyone wtf
bretta's delusional too btw the game literally calls her out (gpz godhome description i think). personally i like that canon decided these two should meet and the result was this awfully tough dreamgod that u can fight 10x that's hilarious to me. if a fan made this up and it never happened in canon i would be like 'holy shit this should be a dlc this WOULD happen' because these two are just like that
also people seriously forget that bretta didnt just leave because of zote she left because of ghost too. girl just had enough of short knights ok she was done with both of them if you bring her back to town she's not suddenly gonna realize ghost is heroic and cool and be apologetic and want them back and zote's mad and jealous. <- this out here is mischaracterising ALL 3 of them its so juvenile what.... and i just dont think she'd care that much about either of them, a lot like how zote barely gives a shit about the infection or never realizes she left, they both have tunnel vision these two are the same do you see it
also tell me he was lying when he called ghost a beast because they are thats all they've been striving for this is a compliment to them i know it
this isnt reallyyy a rant. its a personal grievance because i like them both so i care about their portrayal and interactions and i like it when they aren't lonely. but also they're really light-hearted characters so why not just treat them like that....they go through shit and then they move on easily and go through it all over again. its been 7 years can we cut them a break. i dont wanna see anymore mischaracterising unless its really funny
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