#i do NOT understand how shadows work btw that’s why they’re fucked<3

[matthoopergay]

horsie become real

AUTISM BLAST 🦄🌈⚡️🦈🦈

[sarahjtv]

BNHA Chapter 309 Spoiler Thoughts: Izuku and Inko Midoriya, and Some More Things Along The Way

The chapter leaks are here again!  Thanks to all the people on Twitter and here on Tumblr for providing us with scans and translations.  This chapter helps explain some things that a lot of us were wondering about.  Sadly, there’s still no Bakugo, or Shoto, or any other UA kids really; they’re only in flashbacks.  But, we do get to see what All Might and the Top 3 Heroes (Endeavor, Hawks, and Best Jeanist) are up to, so that’s something.  Anyway, remember to take what I say with a grain of salt until the official translations come out on Sunday:

The chapter starts a few minutes after Deku beat Muscular.  He’s flying through the air taking an unconscious Muscular tied up in his Black Whip.  The other Ketsubusu Academy students from the Lisence Exam see him too.  Thankfully the stubborn civilians from 2 chapters ago are willing to help Yo Shindo recover in exchange for not listening moving to the school shelters.  Also, Shindo’s barely conscious, but he does actually remember Deku.  He’s just not the same Deku as before.  Not much for me to say here except that I wonder if Shindo’s going to help spread the word about Deku’s actions.  Not just to his classmates, but I wonder if the words’ going to get out to the news and UA.  Actually, word might not even get that far since Shindo was only one of the few people in that exam that really even interacted with Deku...

Deku hands Muscular over to the police for them to take care off.  He also makes sure to cover himself up in Smokescreen to hide his identity.  So, Deku really is working in the shadows here.  It is best that the public doesn’t know what Deku is doing so that the LoV don’t track him down.  My man’s really going down the Batman route.  Oh, I also have to admire Deku’s smartphone here kept in this steel case.  I was going to say it’s a burner phone, but burner phones break easily for a reason and this one clearly doesn’t.  Maybe it’s a special one that can’t be tracked down.    

And we finally get to see All Might again!  He is actively working with Deku instead of just not knowing where his protege is.  He’s wearing casual clothes (jacket, jeans, sunglasses, the works) when he meets up with Deku in an alleyway.  I’m honestly glad that All Might is still supervising Deku.  I mean, Deku on his own would’ve been badass, but when you’re going up against people like AFO and Shigaraki, you’re going to need some help.  Especially when laying low.  Even with supervision, I still think Deku counts as a vigilante b/c I don’t think his license works if he’s not at UA.  I will believe this unless proven otherwise.  

It’s explained that the “wrapping” on Deku’s arms are actually gauntlets called “Mid-Gauntlets”, which are what are helping hold Deku’s arms together.  And they are VERY similar to the gauntlets that Melissa Shield from Two Heroes gave Deku.  Deku even says that All Might ordered them from the USA before travel restrictions were put in place.  I know that it’s only implied, but there’s no doubt in my mind that Deku’s new gauntlets were made by Melissa.  Even if you want to doubt it, at this point, Two Heroes (and by extension Heroes Rising and probably the upcoming 3rd movie, World Heroes Mission) are canon.  Honestly, I’m cool with it.  I liked Melissa and I’m glad her presence is still around (she was even in a Team-Up Mission chapter with Hatsume).  I do wonder if we’re ever going to see her in the main story.  It would be nice to see Melissa again.

The gauntlets are test samples and are used to enhance endurance.  All Might says that they can’t withstand 100% of OFA yet.  Which means that Deku actually beat Muscular with less than 100% unlike their first fight where Deku had to use over 100% just to knock him out.  So, does this mean that, say, Deku’s current 45% is stronger than his 100+% back in the Forest Camp?  Or maybe it was just the combo of moves and strategy rather then Deku just punching his way through things.

Small detail, but All Might’s phone goes off with that “I AM HERE” ringtone we heard before and Deku comments that this particular one is from All Might’s Silver Age TV Special!  It’s such a small thing, but I love that Deku still has that All Might fanboy in him despite everything 💚!  Somethings truly never change.

And back to the Top 3: Endeavor, Hawks, and Best Jeanist!  Endeavor and Best Jeanist are teaming up to kick a villain’s ass while Hawks is talking to All Might on the phone.  It looks like Hawks got a few costume changes particularly his visor/glasses which look more boxy than they did before if that makes sense.  Oh, and they’re also helping All Might work with Deku.  Makes sense since all three vowed to help take down Dabi earlier and Shigaraki and AFO definitely extend from that.

Deku’s Danger Sense is going off, so he’s probably going to check out any danger he can find in case it’s the LoV.  I do wonder if that harms Deku still.  It was said that it felt like a stabbing in his head and it must’ve been bad enough for the 4th OFA Holder to live in the forest away from society.  Man, I really hope our boy is ok (I know he’s not really, let me have this).

But yeah, Hawks (still wingless, but with a nice little undercut btw😳) explains that Deku's afraid of dragging other people in his battles like All Might.  Hawks also goes on to say that it’s best to take the initiative in taking down AFO and Shigaraki rather than waiting for them to appear all powered up.  He also wants All Might to keep supporting him despite the difficult position he’s in (remember that All Might’s technically Qurikless again and can’t really fight on his own).  It makes sense for them to go after the Villains again while they can.  If Deku fought Shigaraki while Shigaraki was at full strength, Deku would lose easily.  Even at 75%, Shigaraki was able to kill and injure A LOT of people, and Deku was lucky to even make it out there alive.  They need to find Shigaraki SOON!  

Flashback to Central Hospital before Deku jumped UA ship!  Recover Girl and Central Hospital’s high-tech were responsible for many of the patience recovering quickly and being discarged.  Deku was just there a little longer than the others.  So, we can assume that all our UA kids and some notable heroes made it out alive after being treated.  Still don’t know what happened to some people like Tamaki and Fat Gum tho 😭.  

All Might and Deku’s mom, Inko (thank god she’s ok), are by Deku’s bedside as his casts are taken off.  Deku’s doctor (who looks like Super Mario/Luigi; the whole Super Mario crew must run this damn place.  Where’s Bowser and Princess Peach) explains that despite his former warnings about his ligaments, Deku’s limbs are still functioning because he’s not the same as he was before.  So, before, Deku’s injuries were like his limbs were exploding from the inside, but this time those “explosions” were able to escape his body.  Also his Black Whip cast helped keep Deku’s arm in tact so that he wouldn’t pulverize himself.  His ligimates are still degrading too, so Deku still has to be careful.  I think he might have a few more small scars too, but that could just be shadows or muscle lining from Horikoshi’s pen-work.  

Ok, honestly, I’m not sure how this logically works...  I’m no medical professional, but I assume this means that Deku’s built his body up so much that it’s naturally able to withstand more damage than before and that’s why he’s more durable.  But, I don’t know how Deku was able to let the “explosions” escape this time.  I get the reverse; I get how he got injured before, but I don’t get this.  Was it the Black Whip brace he made for himself?  I honestly don’t really understand this.  Maybe the official translations will clear this up.  Or Horikoshi will in a Tweet or Volume Extra.

And Inko is finally informed of OFA thank the gods!  She was in the top of my list of “People who should really, really know OFA and what’s going on with Deku because I swear...”.  She’s clearly shaken up as anyone would be, but I’m glad she at least knows what’s going on with her son.  Yes, she’s still worried, but at least she can stop guessing why all this is happening.  

Deku announces the reason why he won’t go back to UA and it’s basically that Shigaraki can sense where Deku is and he doesn’t want to see anyone else close to him get hurt and/or die.  So, basically what I thought would be the reason.  Absolutely no surprise there.  But, going after Shigaraki and AFO first was originally Deku’s idea, so that’s something new.  Kid’s bold.

And this broke my heart 💔!  Inko insists that Deku stay with her to stay safe, but Deku knows what he has to do.  So, he thanks his mom, thanks her for making him happy, and tells her that he’ll be ok and that he’ll come back home with a somber smile on his face.  We see a flashback to Little Deku and Inko too when they were happier.  Bro, I don’t even know what to say.  I am in tears just writing this 😭  I’ll just post these two panels so y’all can cry with me.  I will never recover from this.  I’m fucking devastated.  You better come home, Deku: 

*sniffs* All Might remembers what he said to Inko.  He remembers how he said that he will protect Deku with his life.  All Might encourages Deku to go and he says that he’ll go with him with tears in his eyes.  He asks the Top 3 to help with this mission (finding Dabi) as their own mission coincides with Deku’s (finding Shigaraki and AFO).  I’m so glad all these adults are staying by Deku’s side throughout this.  It’s good to know that Deku still has support, though I wish it were from some of his friends too.  Maybe one day.

Deku goes to see Grand Torino in his hospital room to talk to him about OFA.  He mentions his friend and 7th Holder Nana Shimura.  Torino thinks he was responsible for killing Shigaraki (he really wasn’t let's be real).  He also tells Deku that Deku shouldn’t be so persistent in saving Shigaraki as killing can sometimes lead to salvation. Ok, few things:

1. I am surprised Grand Tarino is still alive.  I mean, we don’t know what happened to him after this talk, but at least he got to hear from Deku again.  It’s kind of nice to know that Tarino willingly passed down his cape to Deku too instead of Deku just taking it after his death.  Also, I’ve been watching some of Jujutsu Kaisen like everyone else has and this give me some Yuji & his grandfather vibes to it.  Knowing what happens there and that JJK’s magaka is good friends with Horikoshi, I have a sinking feeling I know what happened after this talk...

2. Deku looks so much older here.  Like, it’s not that cute, innocent baby face we knew at the beginning.  I don’t even know what it is exactly (maybe the eyes), but he just looks more mature here.  Also, his uniform some buttons down looks really good on him, I’m sorry but I need to mention that too 💚.

3. “Killing is a means towards salvation”.  Oh, boy...  I mean, I get it.  Some people just can’t be saved or captured in hopes of rehabilitation/redemption. ��Sometimes killing people is necessary to save others.  But, Deku is not a killer.  He will try to save Shigaraki no matter what.  That was established again last chapter.   He tried to save Muscular for god’s sake.  But, I am curious if Gran Tarino’s words are going to hold any weight in the final fight. Like, will Deku have to kill Shigaraki?  What will that do to Deku as a person?  I’m really curious if Horikoshi is going to make Deku do this.

And finally, there’s a page showing off the Top 3, Deku, and All Might team up with the resolve to beat the LoV.  I am really interested to see where this goes.  Deku is working with the big Pro Heroes instead of his classmates/friends.  This hasn’t really happened before.  I also wonder if Shoto and Bakugo know what Deku’s doing then.  Because Shoto’s going to help Endeavor and his family find Dabi.  Endeavor’s activley helping Deku.  Also, Endeavor and Best Jeanist are both Bakugo’s mentors.  All Might too actually.  Look, maybe I’m making excuses to see my Origin Trio together again, but I do have to wonder if Shoto and Bakugo are involved somehow.

Welp, that’s it.  This chapter was a rollercoaster!  I was excited, I was confused, I was worried, I cried my eyes out at one point because THOSE TWO PANELS I CANNOT 💔😭!  I’m honestly just waiting for Horokishi to drop some major time-skip on us at some point.  I don’t want him to, but I won’t be entirely surprised if he does.  The end of this chapter is a good place to end if Horikoshi wants to segway into something else like, oh IDK, THE UA KIDS LET ME SEE THEM AGAIN HORIKOSHI PLS I’M BEGGING 💸  

Me @ Horikoshi almost every week:

[seoafin]

tbh,, i havent read the raws of the interview yet, only the translated ver from fan-translator and b4 i start, i think that this will be just me talking in circle and in no particular order AND a real mess (my brain does weird things after exams) but uhh here we go

gojou collects talented people, and by doing so he finds the people he can most probably relate to, except that he can't, not really, because something in the universe shifted when he was born. and it makes me think of how he's always known it, that he is special, and he's proven it, time and time again— he wants to take in talented ppl and he does, but there rly isn't much he can do for them. for they are talented, more talented than the world can understand,,

but they aren't gojou satoru

gojou took in megumi, bc he knew megumi was strong, and would grow up to be someone even stronger, but gojou can't facilitate or encourage his growth, bc for all they're similar, they are so fundamentally different. ALSO,, while geto was in his life, gojou rly judged everything according to his understanding of geto’s moral compass. gojou wears a human suit and geto is how he learnt to wear it well 🏃

the dragonfly analogy regarding to geto’s response to gojo, who was shown wearing a dragonfly patterned yukata in HI arc,, i’m trying to not think abt the fact that dragonfly symbolized victory in jpn....pain. i quoted from a web here for more explanation : In Japan the dragonfly is known as the "victory insect", or kachimushi, because of its hunting prowess and also because it is known to never retreat. Dragonflies are agile and fast fliers and can even hover, but never fly backwards

and bringing this up again, matricide and patricide are 2 of the 5 worst act to commit in buddhism, and it was said that if u commit one of those act u’re going to spend a real long time in the deepest pit of hell before continuing the samsaric cycle (higher chances to be born as an animal after that probs)— this might be geto’s divine retribution. held no power over his own body and could be considered that he’s the same as those “monkeys” 💀

ALSO the fact that sukuna's interest is "eating" rly drives home his hedonistic philosophy of seeking pleasure for himself. and he’s a cannibal...makes me think if he’ll just chomp on ppl with the mouth on his stomach

randomly, to date i think he hasn't really called himself a human, shaman, or a curse, and has held himself apart from all 3, and we've also the intro of the cursed wombs so i wonder if he’s trying to become, or is, a different entity altogether

so onmyoji got mentioned in the interview and what they practice is called onmyodo and abe no seimei and kano no yasunori were the notable practitioners,, and the kamo in jjk is the same as irl who served the imperial court back then

maybe i was right when i said that the relation between the govt. and jujutsu elders are similar to how the shogunate and imperial court work (ie, the former holds the actual power) but... lets see later,,

and i cant believe that i actually nailed it on the analogy of jujutsu practices by religion,,, so mahayana buddhism, shintoism, and taoism is present in jjk along with their respective jujutsu practices...but between the 3, it shld (?) be taoism > shintoism > mahayana buddhism (which could took a path to pure land buddhism)

it’s weird that the number of curses are supposedly higher in jpn comparable to other countries when taoism was brought from china....tengen sus

so the zenin family tree is sth like :

brothers: [toji's dad] ; naobito ; ougi

so toji, naoya, and maki & mai are cousins of the same generation

[toji's dad] → jinichi (probs) ; toji → megumi

naobito → other brothers, naoya

ougi → maki, mai

but yea i’d call anyone who’s within/close or below my age range as cousins and others above 30 as uncles/ aunts LMFAO,, i dont rly memorize my own family tree 😭😭 especially since most call the other by honorifics instead of names : aunt, uncles etc or attaching said honorifics at the end of a name for an older sibling figure/ older cousins [but like ppl in my country also call the other who are older with sibling honorific even if we’re strangers,,, rly similar to korea’s hyung/oppa—eonnie(unnie)/noona but some uses more genderless honorific] (1)

tw // topic of incest, mentions of abuse

if anyone got the wrong idea when reading this : i am not glorifying/ romanticising incest(uous themes),, i’m looking at this with absolutely no lenses of bias even tho im rly against it

初恋 = literally : first love, or puppy love

恋 = romantic love/ deep longing

i literally don't know how else to put this...🧍and with language barrier...using a western interpretation of the eng word "love" to explain a jpnese term is not quite that simple, unfortunately

that thread omg,, i rly do understand how exactly someone could associated kindness with love bc of my upbringing, it was when i was slightly older that i was just...oh so its not like that orz,,, so the most plausible explanation would be that

but the problem is that,, akutami never specify when exactly she had a crush on them,, and when megumi answered todo’s question she had a “♡” reaction 😶,, uhmmm there’s rly no way to look past this if its this way or be in denial

i’ve seen some of "why wouldn't mai react that way after hearing megumi say he'd like someone who's compassionate when she's surrounded by men like naoya",, well I MEAN,,, that, but also mai probs admires that megumi grew up so well out of the clan, regardless of the fact that he had the foundation (10 shadows) to do so. imo she seems happy for him the way she can't be for maki, bc maki ultimately had to leave her behind

hate to say it but yea,, the 3 clans most likely still practice inbreeding in order to preserve their power and presumably their wealth too 😀

i had an idle thought abt it at first but i filed it deep in the back of my mind asap,, bc i ont wanna jump to conclusion abt this out of all things too early. it’s probably not even in jjk, but all those elite clans in other ani/mangas that produce powerful heirs and whatnot also do the same,,, but this way of (my personal) thinking was influenced when i first got into tsukihime (type-moon),,, i read abt the nanaya family background and found out that they practice that in order to keep their bloodline “pure” (to keep it short : they have an optical power),, and i had this kind of assumption ever since so there’s that

i’m,, convinced the zenins' inbreeding made it more difficult for them to get powerful shamans bc they got 2 jujutsu technique-less children with heavenly restrictions in the same generation: toji & maki

even more convinced that maki might be a bit stronger than toji bc toji could see curses without aid while maki can't so the pay-off must be higher,,, SJJASN IDK ,,, plus naoya sort of implies his older brothers are nothing compared to him, and idk if we should take that as his arrogance or that his older brothers rly are weak/powerless. it would make sense as to why naobito had a lot of sons, ig, as head of clan

i feel so bad that if one of the factors that can caused heavenly restriction is inbreeding,, toji and maki and mai had no say in how they wanted to be born but are scorned for it,, typical asian families projecting their traumas and ideals onto their kids but get mad when they realize that those ideals are ugly...😁😁😁

since the zenin are conservative,, i wonder if they still hold onto old jpnese dining traditions. where in ancient jpn, hierarchical relationships were made readily apparent even within families. a dining table where everybody sat down and ate as equals would be unheard of. rather, each individual is given their own table that indicates their status,,, someone who is not considered “strong” according to the zenin’s views most likely have no place at the table, and probs eat when those who are “strong” finished/ serve them when they are eating

if toji was tossed into a swarm of curses,, i dont think abuse during said time is below them,,,

the zenin clan was already great, but they further amassed power and strength by, what i assume to be, marrying and adopting powerful individuals into the clan 🤔 ,,, i imagine they're like the hiiragi but without doing what they did to shinya (ons reference)

BUT after all that, i like to think that since akutami’s a big horror fan, jjk might be an outlet to explore said topics or even darker ones, so i wouldnt be that surpised abt it. given that there’s more than enough “red flags” before this was dropped : a reference to “tale of hikaru genji” when a grown woman asked for gojou’s number in HI arc (out of all things); granny who transformed into the man’s daughter, sat on his lap and man just touched her waist; mei mei and ui ui ; and...this (incestous theme is in the novel btw)

lets not start with whatever the fuck in kubo’s head in the interview otherwise i’m writing paragraphs with every curse words possible,, those big 3 mangakas are so— UGH,, a planet w out (cis) men like him sounds real good rn 😌 if one of yall out there decide to do it,, pls hmu rly cant do this shit anymore

akutami said i like my men pretty and i like women who will step on my neck and spit in my face (I REMEMBERED TATSUKI FUJIMOTO’S INTERVIEW WHEN HE WAS ASKED ABT MAKIMA AND IT WAS SO 😭😭😭😭) but ykw,, love that for both of them <3

when i said 3 : one piece, bleach, naruto. aside from the blatant depiction/ characterize of women in those 3,, idk if some ppl arent aware yet but oda is friends with two (2) convicted pedos,, man...the major disappointment and disgust when i first find out abt it

anyways this is just my 2 cents (which i think rightfully belong to the trash can) so pls just take this w a lil to no grain of salt - 🐱

YEAH THE ♡ LMFAO I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A “good answer ♡“ heart BUT NOW IM RE-EXAMINING?????

honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if the three clans practiced inbreeding. but ik people are going to be  😡😡😡😡😡 about it when the queen of fucking england is literally married to her (something) cousin. i’m not justifying it but like....love the double standards, just as always with the west 😍

DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT FUCKING PED* LIST THEY SHOULD ALL BE IN JAIL. JAILLLLL. it’s all so gross. that’s why i fucking hate when people look towards manga for positive representation because the chances of that are super slim to zero, especially since the industry is saturated with misogyny and ped******* and a lot of other gross stuff.

i think ppl forget jjk is a horror manga LOL so obviously it’s going to confront darker themes. the question is whether it’s going to be done tastefully or not......

[masterthespianduchovny]

1/2: Hi! Just caught and really appreciating your commentary/review of Mystphile/Syntax/Iolokus. Have you done more of these for XF fic, and if so, were they tagged? (I see you tag ur X-Files content, but then it brings up ALL ur XF content, rather than separating out by XF Meta, or XF Fic Commentary/Review, etc) I LOVE fic reviews. But these days it’s more common to get a sentence or two on a fic. I've literally gone back through WebArchive for rec sites from original run, as well as the

2/2: old XF Book Club run by Wendelah, and then take good reviews/comments and put them together with the story so that when I read a story, I can also read their reviews and think more on things! So, when I saw your more-than-2-sentence commentary on 3 different stories I’ve read, I was VERY excited!! Tell me there’s more! BTW, also enjoy your general commentary on show/David/Gillian, etc! Trying to figure out how to find it all within your account!

________

Thank you for your kind words! :)

Unfortunately I don’t have metas/reviews on other fics, but you make me interested in doing more.

There are various reasons I love certain stories even if the characterizations aren’t necessarily consistent for Mulder and Scully. I’m more forgiving if I understand what the writer was aiming for and if I believe they executed it well.

For instance, The Games We Play by Winter Song. The “epilogue” doesn’t work for me I guess due to expectations. Everything else up to that point is really captivating. I know some are put off by Mulder and Scully singing and stuff, but personally, it adds a layer to their oddball dynamic and how they’re viewed by others.

What intrigues me most is the anger: Scully’s breaking point and Mulder’s instant realization and empathy behind Scully’s behavior. I’ve always said if The X-Files had been on a different network (and had a different show runner), it would’ve been a darker show. The main characters have so much unexplored grief and trauma. They are each other’s safe place and the shadow government violates that in a subtle, but major way in this fic, which Scully gets the message loud and clear.

Why Winter Song also does well in her fics is explore how other governmental agencies see Mulder and Scully. Either the fandom focuses the colleagues thinking they’re fucking or completely ignoring them, however, Mulder and Scully have been involved and get into way too much shit for there not to be any intrigue behind them. I believe they are the reason I explore this idea as frequently as I have recently.

I haven’t read everything Syntax6 has written, but I do think everything she writes is gold regardless. She wrote a fic called Split the Lark that was really thought provoking. If you haven’t read this fic, I should warn you that the fic deals with rape of a main character. I literally haven’t read it in years, but if I ever revisit this I believe the quality of the fic will only rise, IMO.

Personally, I haven’t read many recent fics due to poor time management and impatience. Truth be told, despite there still be quality fics out there, it’s also hard for my to read current fics. I have an issue with the characterization and perception of mainly Mulder in these stories. As mentioned earlier, doing something different with the characters aren’t the problem, but Mulder either lacks a backbone or is an asshole in a way that is inconsistent with his character. Some writers have ambitious goals except they care about the idea and not the execution. 

The stories themselves at times lack teeth. Good ideas without the boldness. Or something is missing.

This isn’t to say that current stories are bad. I know some stories released during the show were bad as well. However, I also don’t think current stories don’t have the same highs as the original run.

To be clearer, this is all my personal taste. Some most likely disagree with me and that's perfectly valid. And its likely I’ve forgotten some really good fics released post original run.

There’s Seven Days in May, which is a prequel and it’s original story. The fic makes me sad, but it does challenge me in a way that makes me uncomfortable in a good way. I believe this was written by Prufrock’s Love--that might be wrong. These two fics are something I’d be open to revisiting unlike her other fics, which aren’t bad I just don’t like post colonization fics. She also has another fic, I think its her, where the break down of Mulder and Scully’s relationship deeply bothered me. I got why it got there, but it felt unfair to one of the characters (and was acknowledged as embarrassing in the fic) and I’m unsure if this was discussed during the story.

Arizona Highways felt satisfying to me, but I can’t recall a lot about the fic.

Hope you enjoyed the response!

P.S. I’m a lazy tagger. lol

[trenchcas]

episode origins p1

i was watching moriah earlier today and was wondering what the significance of the name moriah was, so i searched it up. i’ll explain it here in this. i wanted to learn which episodes have titles derived from pop culture, literature, etc. so i put together this list. it’s not complete, feel free to reblog with more!

why did i waste hours on my life on this, you ask? i don’t know. 

season 1

pilot: obviously, all the first episodes of shows are called pilots. nothing new here.

wendigo: they’re fighting a wendigo

dead in the water: the phrase means “unable to function, move”.

phantom traveler: the name of the demon they’re fighting

bloody mary: based off the legend

skin: shapeshifters, also there might be a meta about how it’s a metaphor for dean

hook man: they’re fighting a hook man

bugs: bugs

home: they go home

asylum: they go to an asylum

scarecrow: scarecrow

faith: the concept of god first comes into play here, i thought that was pretty interesting. that’s why it’s called faith, duh. dean + faith is explored.

route 666: racist truck yes

nightmare: sam’s visions

the benders: i think it’s based off of the bloody benders, a family of serial killers

shadow: meg’s stalkery?

hell house: it was literally a hell house

something wicked: originally chanted by WITCHES in shakespeare’s macbeth. the full line is “something wicked this way comes, open locks, whoever knocks”. obviously the shtriga is a witch and it refers to that.

provenance: painting provenances, it’s in the episode

dead man’s blood: they use dead man’s blood

salvation: being saved or protected, like the boys and john do with the family

devil’s trap: the devil gets them in a trap. and they built a giant devil’s trap too.

season two

in my time of dying: based off of the led zeppelin song [x]

everybody loves a clown: based off of the gary lewis song [x]

bloodlust: i think it’s for the vampires but they were also a band in the 90′s

children shouldn’t play with dead things: based off of the 1972 movie

simon said: the whole “you do what i say” thing with andy and evil andy

no exit: it’s a song by blondie and in the episode h.h. holmes captures blondes...? am i just clowning

the usual suspects: based off of the 1995 movie

crossroad blues: based off of the robert johnson song (fave!) [x]

croatoan: i like this one. okay, so you guys probably know about the whole roanoke/croatoan thing in the 1600′s. so there’s a theory that the settlers were wiped out by a disease (similar to this town). also, the town would disappear off of the map.

hunted: gordon hunted sam

playthings: dolls, but the little girl was the grandma’s sisters plaything

nightshifter: a shifter in the night

houses of the holy: based off of the led zeppelin song and album [x]

born under a bad sign: based off of this song [x] there are a bunch of others including jimi hendrix but...?

tall tales: yeah i think this one is self explanatory

roadkill: someone got killed on the road

heart: werewolf heart but also how sam gave his heart to madison aww also there’s a band called heart

hollywood babylon: based off of the book by the same name

folsom prison blues: based off of the johnny cash song!! [x]

what is and what should never be: based off of the led zeppelin song [x]

all hell breaks loose: yes it did

season three

the magnificent seven: based off of the pretty famous western go watch

the kids are alright: based off of the who song [x]

bad day at black rock: based off of the 1955 movie

sin city: there’s a bunch of songs but the city was sinning so

bedtime stories: they were bedtime stories

red sky at morning: the full phrase is “red sky at morning, sailors take warning”. with the theme of this ep it fits pretty well.

fresh blood: fresh blood yes

a very supernatural christmas: i’m not sure. i think it’s based off of a christmas album?

malleus maleficarum: a 1400′s book of witches. latin for “hammer of the witches”.

dream a little dream of me: i love this song! based off this: [x]

mystery spot: mystery spot

jus in bello: i can’t really explain it but here [x]

ghostfacers: g h o s t f a c e r s

long-distance call: long distance call

time is on my side: based off of the rolling stones song [x]

no rest for the wicked: a biblical quote that means “evildoers will face eternal punishment”. also, “one’s work never ceases”.

season four

lazarus rising: in the bible, lazarus is the righteous man, which makes dean the righteous man. and he rises. so. 

are you there, god? it’s me, dean winchester: based off of the judy blume book (maybe?), are you there, god? it’s me, margaret.

in the beginning: they go back in time

metamorphosis: with the rugaru but also sammeh

monster movie: monsters and movies

yellow fever: referring to the disease i think, but also there are a few songs

it’s the great pumpkin, sam winchester: based off of it’s the great pumpkin, charlie brown.

wishful thinking: yeah

i know what you did last summer: dean + hell, sam + ruby. is it based off of the shawn mendes song? i don’t think it is because this came out way before the song.

heaven and hell: opposite sides meet, dean’s hell experiences.

family remains: there are remains

criss angel is a douche bag: idk?

after school special: based off of the abc program? i think?

sex and violence: there was a lot of sex. and violence.

death takes a holiday: death took a holiday

on the head of a pin: i’m not sure but this article is interesting, maybe related. probably related. [x]

it’s a terrible life: based off of it’s a wonderful life? i love that movie btw

the monster at the end of this book: ughhh! yes!!! first of all there’s a sesame street book by the same title. also, chuck actually was the monster at the end of the book! that’s crazy. insane. 

jump the shark: “(of a television series or movie) reach a point at which far-fetched events are included merely for the sake of novelty, indicative of a decline in quality.“ probably the whole long lost brother thing.

the rapture: a belief that christians will rise to “meet the lord in the air”. kinda like jimmy does.

when the levee breaks: based off of the led zeppelin song [x]

lucifer rising: lucifer rose

season five

sympathy for the devil: based off of the rolling stones song [x]

good god, y’all!: cas goes to find god

free to be you and me: a marlo thomas album and the brothers split up

the end: yeah it’s the end

fallen idols: i think we get it

i believe the children are our future: a lyric from a whitney houston song

the curious case of dean winchester: based off of the short story, the curious case of benjamin button.

changing channels: channels were changed. the end.

the real ghostbusters: based on the 1985 animation

abandon all hope: the full phrase is “abandon all hope, ye who enter here” and that pretty much sums up this episode.

sam, interrupted: i’m not sure?

swap meat: meats were SWAPPED.

the song remains the same: based off of the led zeppelin song [x]

my bloody valentine: based on jensen’s movie. but also the band?

dead men don’t wear plaid: based on the 1982 movie

dark side of the moon: a pink floyd album

99 problems: that one jayz song whatever

point of no return: a 1993 movie but also the poto song hehe

hammer of the gods: based off of the 1985 book i think? it’s about led zeppelin so probably yeah.

the devil you know: means that it’s better to deal with a situation you understand than one you don’t.

two minutes to midnight: this phrase is commonly used as a countdown to a global catastrophe (i.e. the fucking apocalypse)

swan song: someone’s final performance before retirement (i think this is about both brothers because it’s sam last battle and dean’s last fight before living with lisa)

season six

exile on main st.: based off of the rolling stones album [x]

two and a half men: it was a sitcom? but idk if that’s where it’s from

the third man: based off of the 1949 noir thriller? maybe? but there were also three men so idrk

weekend at bobby’s: it was a weekend at bobbys

live free or twi-hard: based off of twilight and that bruce willis movie that i watched once way back when

you can’t handle the truth: truth goddess. soulless sam gets exposed ig

family matters: based off of the 1989 sitcom? maybe

all dogs go to heaven: based off of the 1989 movie? probably

clap your hands if you believe: i think this is an original title idk

caged heat: based off of the 1974 movie i think

appointment in samarra: probably based off of the 1934 novel of the same name

like a virgin: based off of the madonna song [x]

unforgiven: sam does unforgiven things

mannequin 3: the reckoning: not sure

the french mistake: just... just read this link [x]

and then there were none: based off of the agatha christie novel of the same name

my heart will go on: y’all all know what’s up [x]

frontierland: they went to yeehaw town

mommy dearest: based on the 1981 film? maybe?

the man who would be king: based off of the 1888 novel by rudyard kipling

let it bleed: based off of the rolling stones album/song [x]

the man who knew too much: shares a name with the 1956 film

season seven

meet the new boss: they met the new boss idk

hello, cruel world: sad sam

the girl next door: there’s a 2004 romcom with the same name

defending your life: a 1991 romcom! wow!

shut up, dr. phil: sam and dean became philanthropists idk

slash fiction: hahahahaha i think we know what it means but wHY is it called that?

the mentalists: they met a bunch of magic people wow!

season 7, time for a wedding!: more like season 7, time for a slightly r*pey episode and GARTH!

how to win friends and influence monsters: based off of the 1936 book how to win friends and influence people

death’s door: they were at death’s door idk

adventures in babysitting: based off of the 1987 movie by the same name

time after time after time: based off of the cyndi lauper song? [x]

the slice girls: prolly based off of the spice girls idk

plucky pennywhistle’s magic menagerie: yeah idk

repo man: it’s a 1984 film too

out with the old: they were fucking around with antiques

the born-again identity: obviously based off of the bourne identity which i haven’t seen in forever

party on, garth: hahaha

of grave importance: it was very important

the girl with the dungeons and dragons tattoo: probably based off of the movie/book the girl with the dragon tattoo. 

reading is fundamental: reading is fundamental. go read a book.

there will be blood: there was blood

survival of the fittest: everybody fought idk

okay i’m gonna stop here for this one because i’m tired asf and i’ll do part 2 later 

[radramblog]

Pokemon Legendary Themes Ranked

I saw a video of a youtuber I like doing this tier list so I thought I’d get my own opinions in first so I’m not biased by theirs. This list is a little incomplete- there’s a few things I know are missing, most pointedly side game stuff, but I suppose they can’t win em all. Thus, here are my objectively factual opinions, no nostalgia bias here surely. Here’s a link to the list in case you want to do the same.

(Tiers are sorted in increasing quality right to left)

D Tier

Mewtwo (FRLG): Y’all know Articuno/Zapdos/Moltres also use this, right? It’s just a marginally more dramatic version of the regular wilds music, so it gets the fail from me.

Mew (Emerald): This is the same as the last one! Except it gets the edge because it is slightly higher pitched, and because it’s in a game where it’s not a remix of a song you’ve just heard dozens of times.

Mewtwo (XY): I just really dislike the soundfont XY uses for most of its themes. This sounds like a shitty youtube remix from the late 00s with like 300 views, and most of them are the same person who really likes the song for some reason. Am I just biased against the kanto wilds theme? Maybe.

Regis (Crown Tundra): Narrowly dodges being the worst Regis theme since the Platinum one exists (It’s not on this list though). I think a lot of the more recent versions of older themes suffer since they were designed with the lesser hardware in mind. It is a shame because I do really like some of the additions to the theme.

C Tier

Dynamax Legend (Crown Tundra): Mewtwo is already back for his last appearance on the list. It’s just a remix of the max raid theme, which I don’t really care for- especially after hearing it over and over and over again grinding Lairs for shinies.

Calyrex (Crown Tundra): This song being dramatic makes no sense in universe- the player knows this is the big legendary, but the character sure doesn’t- but it ultimately feels hollow. This is deliberate, since it’s actually just one half of another song.

Steeds (Crown Tundra): h o n s e theme is the other half of that song, and it’s the better half, but its still incomplete.

Aura Trio (X/Y) and Solgaleo/Lunala (S/M): These two get lumped together because I always get them conflated, which signifies to me that neither has made a strong impact. Listening to both again, I think I like the latter more, but it’s narrow.

Regis (ORAS): It’s just not the same without the horns. My gen 6 bias is showing, but I don’t really like the soundfont.

Deoxys (ORAS): similar to the Regis, this is held back by the soundfont (why the fuck is there an organ in this??) but also by the fact that at this point, the Deoxys theme just isn’t special anymore. And that’s kinda sad.

Calyrex 2 (Crown Tundra): The full version of this theme is much better, obviously, sounding suitably regal for the king of the tundra, but it overall lands at a meh. The percussion sounds like it’s trying to rip off the Weather Trio’s, which is a big no-no.

B Tier

Eternatus 1 (SwSh): We are now entering the songs I like zone. Eternatus 1 goes in a lot of different directions, and despite how 13-year-old me would balk at it I actually enjoy the dubsteppy bits of it. Sorry to disappoint you, you edgy fuck.

Ultra Beasts (SMUSUM): I don’t know why these are separated, they’re the same theme. I really like the UB theme, but the thing is it isn’t really a legendary theme- it had to be a bit less bombastic seeing as you can just encounter a bunch of these bad bois. And while it sounds suitably alien, I still think it doesn’t belong on this list.

Weather Trio (ORAS): Why is this listed as this, its just for Rayquaza. Extremely dramatic, but a retread of one of my S-tier picks (spoilers oops) and not different enough for the remaster to make it worth it.

Primals (ORAS): the same as the previous, but I do like this much better, what with the song “reverting” to the original every so often. This should probably be higher, but I don’t want to separate it from the “full” version.

Eternatus 2: It’s kind of a shame how little time you get to hear this, because it’s a big ol “you’re fucked” and that’s pretty great. There are bits of this that sound like they’re sampling Kirby Super Star, and I mean that in the nicest possible way.

Galar Birds (Crown Tundra): While I know everyone used to adore this one, I think the honeymoon phase is over for me at this point. I still like it, but at the end of the day it’s still a Kanto Wild remix.

Legendary (BWB2W2): This is really good! The way the tempo shifts around the song is a really nice touch, and that build section is excellent. Just a solid overall theme.

Tao Trio (BW): Reshiram and Zekrom’s themes are slightly different, but even Game Freak forgot that one. Kyurem’s is the same but where they have different SFX it just has dead air, which while fitting is a bit less good. I adore the beat this one has running, almost a throbbing bit going on there.  Edit: Ok on relisten I’ve heard Kyurem’s a bit closer, and it’s a little different with some record skips, but they’re pretty unecessary imo.

Zacian/Zamazenta (SwSh): This is one I kinda wish was less dramatic, considering it’s not as oh shit as the situations their other themes have. I kinda hate the opening to this, but the rest of it makes up for it I suppose.

Eternatus 3: Yeah this is a Z/Z theme not an Eternatus theme let’s be real. A suitably triumphant third act to the climax of SwSh’s (lackluster) story. This is kinda just a banger, very much appropriate for the beatdown it accompanies.

Dialga/Palkia (DPPt): Closing the tier with a song that I actually love, but it’s occurred to me that it’s a little odd sitting next to some of these other ones. I mean, it’s mostly built around this very pretty little piano line, which makes it feel less weighty than the competition. It’s a classic, and hasn’t aged poorly or anything, but it’s less of a climax than I would expect. With that in mind, I shudder to think of what would happen to this in a potential remake.

 A Tier

Mysterious Being (SwSh): This is getting carried here by that bass alone. The rest of it is ok I guess.

Arceus (DPPt): Ah, the track no one ever got to hear. I really love how sparse this is, being basically only percussion most of the way through. I think the Arceus event is something we should have actually gotten to experience, I’m pretty sure it would have blown little me’s mind.

Lugia (HGSS): HGSS, the games where every legendary got its own theme. Bring this back please, I’m begging here. I understand the reason this sounds the way it does is because it’s based on the Shadow Lugia theme from XD, but I haven’t played that one, so I can’t comment. I’m sure not complaining, though- considering Lugia’s other main appearance (in the movie, of course) I wasn’t expecting such a menacing theme.

Legendary (DPPt): For a “generic” theme (fucking Rotom gets this btw) this has a lot going for it. The animation that plays when you start a fight with this music is burned into my brain. It’s fast, it’s tense, and it sounds great.

Lake Trio (DPPt): Unlike Mysterious Being, while the bass slays here, it’s not alone carrying the song. This track was always my favourite out of Diamond and Pearl, and those games have a fucking great soundtrack, so.

Black/White Kyurem (B2W2): I really love that this is a remix of the (also very menacing) theme you hear when you boot the game up- you’ve heard a version of this while staring at the fucker, now here’s the real version for when you have to fight it. The references to the regular Tao Trio theme are well placed, but this more bombastic version sounds like Kyurem is here to fucking kill you, which to be fair, it kinda is.

Legendary Beasts (Crystal/HGSS): I’m lumping these together since, although HGSS gave each their own remix, they’re basically the same theme. This was the first Legendary music ever written for the series, and it still holds up really well. As for the HGSS remixes, I don’t think Entei’s slower rockier version works as well, but I really like the punchy percussion on Raikou’s version.

Regis (RSE): Hella bass and Hoenn Horns? What’s not to love? I do think the original version of this theme is by far the best one, being an ample payoff for the puzzle that was getting to it in the first place, and it makes hurling balls at the golem’s much more tolerable. I literally never caught Registeel as a kid so I could go back and listen to this whenever I wanted.

Tapus (SMUSUM): Again, why are these separated. Considering this game has literal aliens in it, the Tapu theme in SM is somehow the most messed up sounding one, but it works extremely well. The surprise vocalisations work really well with the… I’m hesitant to say tribal, but I don’t have another word for that vibe to be honest. It does feel like you’re doing a transgression with this song, which you are (why the fuck are you allowed to catch these things in universe lmao).

Ultra Necrozma (USUM): Probably the most climactic song in the entire franchise, and it makes sense- this isn’t just the climax of those games, but the finisher to the entire 3DS era of the series. The church organs, therefore, are pretty justified. This song sounds like a Big Deal, and the organ getting pretty jazzy when it gets to some of the less intense bits is a really nice little touch. And then the percussion picks up again and oh fuck here we goooooo. A fitting track for arguably one of the hardest fights in the entire franchise.

 S Tier

Dusk Mane/Dawn Wings Necrozma (USUM): Haha oops I like this one more than Ultra. I think it’s just the unstoppable percussion that opens this that does it. I don’t think anyone who went in blind saw this moment in the games coming, and the intensity reflects this- its like a prelude to Ultra but it doesn’t have as much of a low point, with the onslaught of noise fitting the sheer OH FUCK that is seeing everyone’s favourite bag-dodger getting bodyjacked out of nowhere.

Weather Trio (RSE): Anyone who understands my bias is gonna understand this one. It’s almost entirely carried by nostalgia, but I just love this fucking song. Compared to some of the other things on this list, it feels nearly minimalistic, seeing as it’s pretty much just the drums, horns, and that bell, but that’s all it needs. It’s the first song in the series for a proper legendary, and it suits that fact.

Deoxys (FRLG/E): By contrast, the Deoxys theme is pushing that GBA soundfont to its absolute limit. You can hear some of the best of both the FRLG and RSE soundtracks in this song, with the Kanto percussion and the Hoenn horns both doing their part, but whatever instruments the rest of this is going for are absolutely not slouching either. It’s somewhat telling that the best soundtracks for FRLG romhacks (e.g. Clover) sound more like this than like the other themes in the game.

Ho-Oh (HGSS): Oh fuck is that a koto I love kotos. By contrast with Lugia, Ho-oh is a more relaxed track that takes a lot from traditional Japanese instruments, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t dramatic- far from it. The groove in this makes it sound like it comes from another series entirely, being so incredibly different from anything else the series had to offer at that point. That main riff is so fucking perfect, man.

Giratina (Platinum): I remember having my mind blown when I first heard this. Giratina went from the generic DP legendary music (which is obviously still good) to this chaotic energetic power play, and I was sold on Platinum immediately (like everything before XY, Platinum came out in Japan some months before in other countries, so I heard this well before the game dropped). This song has so many different lines, so many different builds, and yet none of them feel out of place. I almost feel like this song is what started me down the path that would lead to me being a prog fan. After the haunting ambience of the Distortion World, this sheer energy is such a shock to the system, and the climax of the song hits harder than any individual moment on any other song in the series. It’s my number 1 pick, and I love it to bits.

 Thus, the full list is as follows. If you end up doing your own, link me up, I’d love to see how wrong you are your opinions.

[altarflame]

Let me give you this real country music breakdown.

Keeping in mind that 2019 involved lots of gut wrenching transition, including divorce and selling my home of 11 years (the longest I’ve ever lived anywhere). Moving away from the tropics, to a place where the ocean is usually too far and my plants can’t live outside through the winter. I had a kid move out and away, for the first time.   My oldest friend also died last August, after a scant 3 month long battle with cancer. It was a real plague upon my proverbial dog, wife, and pickup truck. And, of course, I’m living through a pandemic, and a long overdue but very emotional racial justice uprising, with the rest of you, now. Anyway. OTHER than those things, my 2020 has been like...My sister’s gradually, gut wrenchingly cut off all contact with me over the past couple of years, culminating in the last couple of months, whenst we no longer speaketh at all. I’ve fought hard for this to be different and it’s still very sharp. I don’t think I’ll ever give up hope, or stop making a fool of myself about it. A new friend I was starting to really care about hung herself in April. I’ve tried to be there for her husband and 5 year old daughter when and how I can, which is honestly not much. I’ve taken several people who were scared to go alone, to her grave.  I felt forced to break up with the person I thought was my soul mate, these past 3 years, and wanted to be with forever, and I have grieved it hard over the last couple of months. I’m still processing this. I’m gonna be processing this for awhile. My threshold for being anywhere near him without overwhelming sobbing is apparently approximately 45 seconds. In the beginning we were scrambled together, mixed in a celestial bowl and hand fluffed with a feather. And the tears of bliss were not amiss - it was a good day.  But the story nears the present time Of restlessness and wake up calls Wake up! Years have flown fast but then who's counting The wars have been won but there's few left standing between us And the shadows of Christmas past... Critically acclaimed but sadly underrated - Fortune definitely favored us, but no one celebrated. Our wits were splitting at their ends... We gazed upon the city lights We each laughed aloud one final time and agreed: This is one thing we'll miss... On his way out, he sabotaged my part time foster child’s mom’s tenuous, fragile relationship with me, so I no longer have the ability to connect with or help that child who he brought into my life. Who I love and wonder about and periodically hear horror stories about via mutual friends. I bent over backwards, I burned calories straining for that trust between the mom and myself.  

It’s so terrible sometimes. It hurts so bad. Jean-Paul. LAURA.   *MILLS*  . Coralye. FUCK. This post brought to you with plenty of hard crying, and no shortage of echoing painful music. I’m physically sick about this shit semi often.  I don’t normally let go of anybody, guys. But certainly not my fucking nearest and dearest.  I have a lot. I have SO MUCH. I know this. I feel good a lot of the time.  I have all 5 of my kids under this roof while the pandemic rages on, and they’re all healthy and beautiful and they all love me and talk with me. It’s mostly all cake these days with them, Elise telling me where she is in her own solitary reading for pleasure, Ananda cracking me up, Jake biking to the grocery store for treats to share, Aaron showing me something amazing in the yard, Isaac washing dishes and giving me weirdly helpful and totally unanticipated advice. They’re almost no work now, it’s all return on investment and I have tons of privacy and I use the fuck out of it.  I’m deeply in love with somebody these past 7 months. Being deeply in new love AND devastated-heartbroken about lost love at the same time is honestly dizzying, I spent a first destitute day thinking maybe I can’t do polyamory anymore, period. Maybe this is too fucking much and I’m gonna be alone and focus on my career and my goddamned plants. (<--not fucking really, obv I am not gonna let the pain win and go full hermit. Brief compelling temptation, though.) My career and my plants are great, btw, thanks for asking. I’ve got basically my dream job, it’s flexible and lackadaisical AND meaningful and challenging, it’s salaried with bonuses and hella benefits and amazing job security. It’s the whole thing, the culmination of 6 years in school and unpaid internships and volunteering. I even have a spare PRN position elsewhere that I mostly hang on to because it’s fun when they want me to come make $200 for a shift, to mix it up a little.  And I have solo projects, writing and web and mental health, all in the works, and they’re good.  I have seedlings sprouting. I have a yard that is pure magic, revealing new secrets each day.  I’ve got some of my oldest people, like Jess. I’ve got some exciting new people, like Jill.  The love, did I mention it? Holy shit. I’ve got Sterling, and that is a whole other story. That it’s been this good while things are this bad is pretty astounding. His own drama quotient has been off the charts, too. I almost can’t imagine how wonderful it would be if we weren’t constantly adrift in a sea of bullshit, though I also strongly suspect we both need a certain staggering minimum quota of bullshit. It’s no accident that we met mutually chasing along after the wake of the same madman’s chaos. We’re nursing some deep wounds in each other, waking up some old old hurts and soothing them back down smaller and smaller. Anytime we’re touching it’s either syrupy soma sweet, blazing inferno hot, or a staggering blend of the two - and then we pull apart to try to actually speak with whole brains, and inevitably take turns being baffled, just hilariously relieved, at how easy it is to communicate. We alternate coming at each other on tiptoe, braced, and then feeling confused and just.... amused? Skeptical? that the other is totally able to empathize with what was just said and is accepting it gently.  We don’t have a ton of objective stuff in common, on paper. We’re both very wordy and linguistic, we’re analyzers, we draw unusual people who will feel safe telling us insane things. We’re both hypersexual perverts, chronic pickers, we both wear too much black. It doesn’t go a lot further than that at a glance. We both have PTSD and ironclad outward facing coping skills, nostalgia for the Florida Keys, scientific skepticism mixed with some faith in magic.... we were both brilliant children who felt pretty isolated. But I haven’t ever really felt like anyone is loving me the way I love people, before. I’ve never even felt like anyone else received my love, the same way I intended it, or at least not all of it. It’s like the intensity of what I’m conveying and meaning when I kiss somebody’s cheek, I dunno man, he experiences it. The goofy flowing sense I have, of holding hands, he comments on it all the time. I’m not just like.... alone, in my overwhelm with being touched, or my enthusiasm for sensations, and that is honestly pretty new to me. Sterling is not tolerating my affection for my sake, and I’m still gradually adapting to that with periodic backsliding into hesitance, and unneeded apologies. It’s like we’re totally fluent in the precise same love language, so nothing gets lost, and the feedback loop is instantaneous.  He’s dark inside, but dark like Nine Inch Nail’s A Warm Place. Dark like the womb.  So as I was saying. I have so much. Including a candle that’s about Mills, and is burning behind me, giving me this slipping sense that I need to blow it out, I need to reserve it, it’s gonna be gone soon. This one spans so many feelings, it’s been positive, some new candle would be what, voodoo? Meddling? I don’t know. This one’s been in a drawer, with our ring buried in it (my dragon). What will I do with that ring? What will I do with all this love?  How can I contain so much, anyway? Why can’t anything ever replace anything else? It’s like infinite space, and the empty places just keep throbbing, and it’s like I sprout new spots for new fullness and the cavities pulse on.  I’m deeply grateful for a certain self-completeness I’ve come to understand that I have, and that not everyone does. I am resiliant A-motherfucking-F (<--meta vulgar!). AND YET. OW OW OW.  I’m sitting here trying to exposure therapy my way through my Mills playlist, as I write this, so Spotify can’t surprise me into sads anymore. I’ve gotten already to a place where sometimes i remember positive things purely positively, and laugh and tell a story and it’s ok. I’m bitter as all hell that I can’t even talk to my sister about this breakup, after she had so many stupid goddamned feelings about the relationship itself, about polyamory in general, about ever knowing him (which might have allowed her to help me grieve at all).  Sigh. I love the internet, maybe feel free to send me a message if you’re still reading, whoever the fuck you are <3

[pumpkin-lith]

Clone Wars Saved...ish

What the hell did I just watch ?

Let’s start by saying that 1) spoilers alert, not necessarily coherent but definitely there, I’ll put on a read more, but unspoiled mobile users, just in case it fails, scroll by and 2) @norcumii had warned me. And yet I didn’t quite expect that because, how could more clones ever be bad !

Oh boy.

Thanks to @shadow-spires for being my emotional support watchbuddy. I needed it more than I thought I would and we’re only three episodes in.

Some context : I’ve watched... only a few episodes of the show before, despite probably being able to give you the plot of all 6 seasons and quote lines and scenes, thanks tumblr and my own love for clones. And I hadn’t really looked at the bad batch half-rendered episodes because I still had trouble with the graphics of the actually finished show, so...

But I was ready for this, for feels, for finding Echo again and, finally, get 66 and murdered by Dave Filoni. Set up a meeting time to watch some eps with shadowspires, fun when there is a twelve hours diff between us and here we go.

Let me tell you, there was a lot of yelling in all caps in the chat side bar...

Trying to keep mostly in order of the episodes :

- WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO KIX’S HAIR ? Why ? Why hair and no more tattoo ??? Is this supposed to be red corsair continuity ? But then WHY IS HE HERE AND NOT ALREADY ABDUCTED ? Is this merch reasons ?

- Two seconds in and WOW I hate the Bad Batch. And this does NOT get better. I’m really tired of the Muscle is Dumb trope, Tech is like a human C3PO which urgh but fine but then KEEP CONSTANT (this is going to be a major point of my yelling), if Hunter says you chatter all the time THEN DO but no, we won’t here a single random fact ever again for three episodes, and Crosshairs chats and snarks a LOT for someone ‘not talkative’. 

- Regs. FUCKING REGS, urgh, I hated that word the INSTANT it was said. Canon isn’t as heavily into the Vode An fanon loves, but WOW fuck that. Strike team or not, you’re not supermen, you have to rely on intel, be supplied, you’re not a bunch of mercenaries, you’re a MILITARY STRIKE TEAM, you must interact with regs a lot so it means you’re a bunch of condescending assholes ALL THE TIME.

-Also fuck 1) that team’s dynamics and 2) the “two teams do not get along” trope, fuck it with a SHOVEL.  1) You’re a Commando Team. In an army three years deep into war. You’re comrades and probably have save each other asses hundred of times. So why can’t you behave ? And I know people do not always get along, or even best friends sometimes irk each other, but, look, consistency, if you think you’re with lesser people because regs (can you tell I’m not over that either), you present a united front and you don’t bitch at your teammates in front of them. 2) YOU ARE MILITARY. Trained for 10+ years, there’s DISCIPLINE there, even a maverick strike team, when Cody is down, you OBEY THE SECOND IN COMMAND. I don’t care if you have a better plan, you TELL the officer, you don’t just tell him to shut up and watch. AND YOU DON’T GET AT EACH OTHER’S THROATS.

-Did I mention I hate everything about Dumb Violent Muscles unable to control himself or follow a plan ?

-Of course the one time we could see Cody in charge, he’s hurt and useless.

-WHY. IS. THE MEDIC. GOSSIPING. INSTEAD OF KEEPING WATCH OVER THE WOUNDED BROTHER ???

AND WHY DOES HE HAVE HAIR DAMMIT

-The tactics Mess out of order :  Why is nobody blowing stuff up, a group able to single handedly take on 100+ droids is getting pushed back by thirty later on, why not trap the outpost to blow up the incoming droids, the analytical droid cannot comprehend why the clones would leave the outpost while in full view of the cyber center and it has to be pointed out to him, WHY DID NOBODY TRAP THE FUCKING OUTPOST TO BLOW, why does the tech guy LITERALLY NAMED TECH doesn’t hide/erase what they did to the computer, why if he didn’t have time DIDN’T HE BLOW UP THE COMPUTER. 

-And for a plot point being “droids analyzes our tactics so we always have to change them”, it means that no one ever attacked a front door and drew all the droids there for a second team to sneak by the back door. Somehow.

Ep2 & 3 :

- Why is “this may or may not be Echo” matters on a tactical PoV ? I get the emotional one, of course, but having the Bad Batch question it at the beginning and later on starting a fight over it has no other reason than to go for another round of We Do Not Get Along Trope. The Seps have either a PoW or an Algorhythm allowing them to win battle, no matter what it is, you have to go and rescue/take it. WHY ARE YOU ARGUING.

- I know this is the funny part of ‘Anakin and Padmé are the less subtle ever’ and it was funny (I didn’t hate ALL of the episodes, see ?), but why is she explaining to Anakin why he fights three years into the war other than reminding the public, this is the LEAST EFFECTIVE PLAN ever to hide from Obi-Wan with Rex obviously standing guard.

-Not a critic, just fucking amused : if someone isn’t aware that Padmé and Anakin are a thing, there is a lot of subtext to thing Anakin and Rex have a hidden fling. I don’t even ship it and I could see it x)

- Tell Padmé I say hello. TELL PADME I SAY HELLO. Obi-Wan fucking KNOWS, maybe not the whole “married and pregnant” but hellooooo that was blantant cue that he’s aware they’re together, at the very least so very close friends that they sneak private calls during a siege if Anakin is really dense, we have ONSCREEN PROOF that Obi-Wan SAID OUT LOUD something about it and it makes Anakin thinking Obi-Wan doesn’t know and couldn’t understand in RotS even STUPIDER. Good job Anakin.

- This Galaxy has the most efficient Google Translate ever. Either it’s a known language of the planet you’re going to, and then by doing research amidst the prep to go to the planet everyone or at least Rex as Captain would put the translator to the spoken languages there on his helmet, or it’s an unknown one and yet with two sentences, Tech’s tech (urgh) is able to translate and analyses it well enough to speak it back to them. Wow. 

- WHY. IS. THE. JEDI. NOT. USING. THE. FORCE. You’ve worked with Echo before but there’s no mention or even trying to feel him, fine, better have another fight of whether or not he’s truly here, two droids manage to get the drop on you, two droids manage to get the drop on you AND SOMEHOW AREN’T IMMEDIATELY BISECTED, Two droids manage to get the drop on you, survive, AND GIVE YOU ENOUGH TROUBLE YOU NEED SOMEONE TO SHOOT ONE TO GET OUT OF IT. 

- Echo, my poor baby TnT I knew this was going to hurt, and it does, it does so much. 

-And we’re RIGHT BACK to full on rage rather fast. We go from “he’s so weak he can’t walk, he doesn’t remember anything after the Citadel, he’s so out of it he doesn’t know where he is and ‘notices’ Rex being here two or three times” to “He can walk, he can be yeeted into a vent, he can tightpole walk, he can shoot while standing, he knows the whole base’s blueprints and also all the Separatist’s database.” in like. Five minutes. CONSITENCY FOR FUCK’S SAKE. Why is no one carrying him, why don’t we even get a fucking HUG ?

-Why was everyone yeeted by Dumb Muscles WHEN WE HAVE A JEDI HERE. WHY STILL NO FORCE ??? Clone-yeeting is like Anakin’s favorite pastime, he should have thought of it FIRST, My Moment Has Come.

- Oh FUCK NO. WHY did you even GO BACK TO THE NATIVES’ VILLAGE ? You got dragons, you fly back to your ship that wasn’t damaged in anyway, you evac fast and clean, DONE ! Why go back ? Anakin even says that the Techno Union will strike for helping them BUT UNTIL YOU WENT BACK THEY DIDN’T KNOW THE NATIVES HELPED YOU ! They had no problems until now ! DON’T INVOLVE CIVILIANS ! If they had gone with the plot point of having the natives pick a side and be the ones to save them from that pole by flying to get them, then yes, totally, stay and help and defend them against the retaliation massacre ! But since they didin’t, do NOT go there and draw to them a retaliation massacre.

-FUCK that speech. Sorry Rex, but FUCK THAT. Again, civilians. You are supposed to be the GOOD GUYS trying to STOP THE WAR, not draw innocents into it when it could be avoided. AND THEN LEAVE WHEN YOU JUST TOOK DOWN ONE ATTACK AND THE TECHNO UNION WILL SURELY COME WIPE OUT THAT VILLAGE FOR HELPING YOU AND THERE’LL BE NO JEDI TO SAVE THE DAY.

-Why is everyone suddenly dumb.

-Fuck that “good old days” bullshit. I’m sure there were good times, but your good old days are three years of war and losses. Gimme “now everything will be alright”, because for once someone survived, for once the future is looking hopeful, give me them hoping that it’ll be okay and then gut me with the sheer irony of it all because I know 66 is looming. AND FUCKING HUG HIM DAMMIT, he was almost catatonic thirty minutes ago, at least HELP HIM into the ship rather than leave him standing here alone.

-And no mention of Fives, of course. Idk it may be in episode 4, it BETTER be in Episode 4, otherwise this is “it be like the good old days, yay, btw Fives’ dead”.

I am SO ready for the damn Bad Batch arc to be over and hoping the actual original content is way better. I wished they had scrapped that disaster of an idea full of bad clichés. You want a strike team to go with Rex ? I’ve got a strike team for you : Jesse is an ARC, Kix is both a medic and seen many times with a rifle (AND THE COOLEST HAIRCUT, get us Bly there and give him a tracking speciality with the many ‘primitive’ planets he was on, and we have Aayla for the muscle. That would be badass.

[jeongahn]

✨ HEHE HELLO MY SUN! 95hua is my gfx and 17joshua is my gif portfolio blogs - Bea 💓

(Don’t) Creator’s send me a  ✨ + your creations tag and I’ll talk about some of your pieces I love! Bea’s creations (gfx) and her gifs and her blog @joshuahong (I still want to tag joshsua, it’s been literal YEARS)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - How do I make this short. Bea. I truly love your work so much, that when I tried to go through your archive from 2015 and onward - all my brain did was “oh that’s a fave. no wait that’s a fave. that one too. OH but THIS ONE-”. I’m not exaggerating. Every single piece. So to keep this condensed, I’m only going to talk about the pieces that gave me the visceral “!!!” because I remember how floored I was at the piece. Just know that EVERY piece you’ve done gives me that reaction. So this ask? This ask is now my own personal hell because I don’t know how to choose 3-5 pieces that I love more than the other. But I will try. This is more of a “walk down memory lane,” - in which I recall how much the piece amazed me at the time it was posted. This might seem long but let me tell you - this is as condensed as I could possibly make it. Like I am pulling my own teeth trying to mention just a FEW of these pieces that I really love. I need a drink. GOD this is obnoxiously long I don’t know what to do.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

2015

(1) (2) (3)These graphics are so heavily ingrained in my mind that I’m now realizing how much this inspired some of my graphics I did years later. Like??? It set the tone for what I value in a piece of work LOL. And when I look back at my own work now - I can see how much of these “lessons” I incorporated.

For (1) in particular, I adored the bleeding effect on the surrounding gifs! And how each panel bled into one another through those wisps.

 In (2) the COLORS just had me squirming like a delighted little sausage. It fit Seventeen’s image at the time so well. It was youthful, colorful, fresh. Everything that Akkinda was at that time. I LOVED the sparkles and the fucking TREE. Ugh that was truly one of the best graphics I saw at the time. 

In (3) - the way you oriented the text was amazing. It was a lot of text but the way you spaced it out and added these visual breaks made it so easy to digest. Like one panel is text heavy. Then another panel is image heavy with a bit of text.Then there’s a gif panel with more text but also spaced out with more image. The balance is fucking incredible Bea. And literally - that’s how my own mind is programmed to make gfx now so it’s nuts seeing that it might have been influenced by your own methods I viewed over the years. LORD, I should call you professor?

2016

Very few things I never heal from. This manipulation of Jeonghan and Joshua from the Chocolate MV? Is one of them. The Chocolate MV in general? Is another. But okay I recall how I gasped because of how GOOD this was. It’s still hitting me. Your brain is so sexy Bea. Also, I’m bummed we never got Mint Jeonghan. But like, who cares? Bea edited a mint Jeonghan and that’s all I’ll ever need. I would literally frame this LOL. Like I’m half considering slapping it onto my corkboard just so I can look at it often.

I would literally pick every single piece from 2016 but I think JiHan was my most favorite and I can’t tell if that’s the bias in me that’s making these decisions. 

2017

This is the coolest shit I’ve ever seen lmfao. I wish I had something more flourished to say but I remember thinking how fucking genius you were for highlighting the teaser like this. Since it was so scenic. And rather than making a hardcore gfx out of it - you just enhanced the vibe with text, coloring, and a bit of texture. You also did this same concept with Jeonghan and it just...oof it was so perfect. 

And then later on, when all the teasers were released - THIS stunning piece of work was done. I was SO impressed by the way you did the gifs with that cross effect. It’s not easy showing 13 pieces of anything. But you did THAT. And ALSO used the images of the teasers, you’re a MAD MAN BEA. A GENIUS. I’m still so shocked by how well done is this.

And you know what this talented fuck did WITH THE ACTUAL MV? You’re not going to fucking believe this. You’re really not. Why am I suddenly so angry. Just look at THIS and you’ll understand full well, why I am SCREAMING. I’ve NEVER seen anything done like this at the time it was posted. Like Bea REALLY set the fucking tone with this gfx. To this day I can’t think of a single gfx that captures an MV THIS WELL. UGH it’s BRILLIANT. If I HAD to pick a favorite - like you threatened to burn my pumpkin patch - I would choose this one. But because I’m not being threatened I’m now making this LONG ASS POST on WHY I LOVE BEA’S WORK SO MUCH-

I recently watched InuYasha in all of it’s entirity because I thought of this gfx a while back lmfao. Jeonghan as Sesshomaru and Joshua as a half demon? Satiates something inside of me. Anyways. The tones used here always get me. The soft beiges and purples at so NICE. I think I mentioned it reminded of buying lavenders out of burlap bags in romantic market places LOL. But the vibe still fits. The movie poster vibe is something you didn’t do often back then so it was cool seeing you try out a different style! The way top right and bottom left are correlated is something that flew right over my head back then. But now? I’m eating this shit up. It’s delicious. 

Shout out to the “Story of the Moon” series Bea did with Meanie, in which she insp credited herself. Is that not, the biggest flex? I love all your star crossed lovers concepts. Bea loves to: yearn. OH btw, here’s the actual Story of the Moon. It’s so sweet. Probably not the original but SO pretty either way. I think this might be the original. Re: Bea loves to learn.

I swear I’m done with 2017 but I gotta mention part 2 of Demon!JiHan. I never realized how much I loved this series of gfx. Bea. This is GOOD shit.

2018

This is GREAT. One thing I loved about YMMD concept was how the gradient reflected on the concept of day to night. So I adored how Bea did this! It was a clever way to utilize 13 images since the aspect of day and night happen in 12hr cycles. 

Just know anything Bea does of JiHan is most likely going to be some GREAT work because of the way a storyline is involved in it. I remember you talking to me about this concept so seeing it come into fruition was pretty fucking cool. Again. Bea loves to yearn. The colors reminded me of the 2015 piece I adored so much.

She did it again with the flawless approach on Demon!Jihan. It’s like year by year it becomes more and more sexy. I LOVE this. The editing on this is more “today Bea”. It’s got such a nice use of shadow and saturation. I remember those images were so hard for me to edit because of the shadow so I didn’t edit them LOL. But nothing stop’s Bea’s expertise. The red tones really get me. I love how this series went from soft burlap bag of lavender to reddish hues. It feels aggressive and I LOVE that.

This is probably the best birthday graphic that ever exists. Again Bea was so clever with how she displayed a lot of images from Joshua’s ENTIRE career. Along with text. Not just eras. Not just songs. But Joshua as a person as well. Whenever I see this I feel so fond. You can smell the love radiating off of this gfx. Joshua would be SO honored.

2019

This is so pretty. Like it reminds me of salwar kameez lmfao. I remember this fondly. It’s like they’re what is inside of a string light. Not light bulbs. It’s Seventeen’s Vocal Unit.

Shout out to this graphic that is reposted literally everywhere. Bea you unlocked every Carat’s deep want: Tatted!Seventeen. Your talent with manipulations is unreal. The tattoo series and Cyber/ Humanoid series really showcase that. Another shoutout to how Bea inspired that one set of teasers with the pressed flower freckles. I want this in a resin dish. Who on Etsy will do this for me-

(1) (2). The dichotomy of these 2 graphics still get me. In (1) there’s this warm and luxurious vibe. Then in (2) it’s the same luxurious vibe, but creepier than the previous because of the icy feel. It’s so neat. Both are SO beautifully done. I love the shimmer tears on Joshua in (1) and the icy sparkles on Vernon in (2). 

2020

I REALLY love this set. The BUTTERFLIES are you KIDDING ME??? I love them. I’m so glad you incorporated them. I love how you subject edit. The way you create glow on the face is so nice. It literally reminds me of using “How Many Carats?!?!!” on the face. Which is SO fitting lmfao. On this work it’s a bit more... “soft glow” but I had to mention it. Joshua with the monarch butterflies makes my heart warm. I dunno if Monarchs are California’s butterflies. But so many places in my town are dedicated to Monarch butterflies so when I think of California, I think of Monarch butterlfies. Anyways I adore the FLUSH on these images. It’s so INNOCENT

I love the entire Cyber series but the way you did everyone’s bionic arm? INCREDIBLE. I can’t even begin to understand HOW you did this Bea. It almost makes me angry that you do this shit for FREE. I get to look at this for free? It feels illegal. I was so floored I missed several details. Like how you made the lighting work with this neon light vibe. That takes a GOOD artistic eye and you clearly have that. Jihoon’s current of energy on his face? U G H it’s so GO OD. I want to stare at it forever. WAIT the BACKGROUND as well. Listen the more I stare this. The more details I realize I miss because I’m so caught up in one detail. It’s just such an incredible series that you execute so flawlessly. 

I just really love this. I can’t describe why. It’s just so nice to look at. That panel with Joshua’s glitter tears (p2)? I love it. All of it is so satisfying to look at and I got that entire vibe from the MV in general. So this was an appropriate way to display it!

I have yet to see all of your 2020 gfx so instead I’m gonna rb them and gush lol but really Bea. All your work is so good and if I could write a book on how much I appreciate them - (clearly) I would.

[tapewormking]

Meta: Redemption Arc

@versaphile said I should post this here, so here’s my version of a retconned redemption arc for Farouk. Not like, changing anything, but trying to jam canon into a version where his arc makes sense to end that way. Under a cut because it’s LONG.

so, circa s1, Farouk is still seeing all of this as revenge. He's already developed feelings for David, but he hasn't realized that he does, probably because part of him knows that would be fucked up and he doesn't want to think of himself as the kind of person with deep-seated issues. He's torturing David, and that's fine because he sees David as The Enemy.

He even thinks that if David causes him too much trouble, he'll just wipe out his consciousness. That's fine, right? Keeping him around is too much work, and love is a fungus, and Farouk is a sane healthy person who is 100% fungus free. And then David succeeds in kicking Farouk out of his body, which Farouk sees as a personal rejection rather than like, David not wanting to be tortured anymore. Because in Farouk's world, everything is always All About Himself.

So he runs off in Oliver's body . . . aaaand then David vanishes.

David is gone. D3 can't find him, Farouk can't find him, he's never not been able to find someone before.

Div 3 is starting to talk like David might be dead. But that's not possible, because Farouk isn't done with him yet. The story can't end this way. Farouk doesn't have closure. Farouk is in pain, Farouk is grieving, and all of this is Not Normal for him, he has literally never had to grieve someone before. He does not have a framework for this.

And that's when it dawns on him that he DOES feel something like empathy for David, that maybe he doesn't want to be just David's captor, he wants to take care of him, he wants to protect him. He doesn't have a great idea of what it means to treat someone well, and his care for David is still in a very patronizing "I should take care of David, because I'm better than him" place. But it’s there, he’s feeling something.

And then David comes back, and he gets a second chance. Better yet, David suddenly wants to work with him. How great is that? But Farouk keeps needling him. He likes to see David dance, likes to watch his reactions.

And then he kills Amy. It seemed like the right thing to do. It made sense, because he has spent thirty years torturing David. Because for decades, the only sense of control he had over his own life was making David suffer. And now that he's decided that he loves David - those instincts, those ingrained habits, don't just go away. And unlike David, he has no framework for questioning the rationality of his own thoughts.

David has spent his entire life second-guessing his every belief and instinct. But Farouk? he just assumes all of his thoughts are rational and accurate. He does not know how to recognize it or question it now that the delusion egg has hatched in his head.

And then DavId is furious at him, and Farouk absolutely does not understand why David won't just let this one slide. After all, it's only what he's been doing all this time, isn't it? And Amy is nothing to Farouk. He cares about David, but he doesn't understand why David would care about other people, who, as far as Farouk is concerned, might as well be characters he invented for his own amusement.

So now David's not talking to him, so it's time to call up David's GF and see what's up with all of this. 

He talks to future Syd, and the version of the future she shows him is - shocking. Navid and Noah talk a big game about how every villain sees himself as the hero - but Farouk doesn't, not really. He doesn't think he's a bad person, per se, but he is very aware that everyone sees him as the villain. He does not understand his own culpability, but he understands that the role of "villain" is played by someone like him. But here is Syd telling him that David - sweet, innocent David, who he loves, who always cares about the little people even though "the little people" are just insects compared to Farouk - is the bad guy, and he, Farouk, the Shadow King, has a chance to save the world.

He thinks that's great, it flatters his ego, it's funny, and also some part of him does want to be the hero. He wants to believe that he is a good person and he deserves to be loved.

But he also loves David, and he doesn't like the idea of David becoming a monster. It's attractive, but it's also frightening and saddening, to think of David losing all of those things, those strange soft feelings, that make him so different from Farouk.

And maybe, just maybe, he knows it's his fault that this is going to happen. Maybe he realizes that he has taken something he loves and hollowed it out and made it into a shadow of himself. And that if that process is allowed to continue, there will be nothing left of what he loves. Because of him. 

So he goes to get his body back. He plots with future Syd. He meets with Present Syd in the labyrinth and tries to convince her of the danger. Because he's Farouk, he does it in a manipulative way, trying to put Syd under his sway with his words and presenting a version of events that absolves him of his role in this and implies that David 'wanted it.' (eurgh)

And because she's Syd, she takes the most direct route to solving the problem she's been presented with, and she tries to shoot David. And Farouk sees what David does to Syd, and it's horrible, because he knows, he knows where this path leads, because he's done this, he's spent years trying to make David love him the way he loves David, and he knows that it's impossible, because what he and David really want is an equal to recognize them - and they can never have that as long as they're controlling the people they love.

So now Farouk is sitting in his cell, with spikes in his brain, powerless, and the one person he loves in the world comes to tell him that 1) he sucks and David doesn't care about him at all 2) also btw he's going to kill Farouk tomorrow, toodles. That’s where we get the "I saw what you did to her" stuff. David is making the same mistakes he made, and there's a bitter satisfaction in watching that, because Farouk feels that he's been rejected, and he's smart enough to know that David is about to be too. So he fights to get just a BIT of his mind free of the crown, and brings a mouse in to, pardon the pun, RAT David out to the rest of D3.

And the Vermillions run the math and decide that the risks of letting Farouk loose are less than the risks of letting David loose, because David is going to destroy the world and Farouk is only going to sit by the pool and abuse people. And Syd is so angry and violated right now that of course she agrees. (I don't know what Cary's excuse is for going along with this batshit plan.)

So they have the trial, and Farouk makes an appearance to try and convince David to stay. Which is the absolute worst thing he could have done, because that freaks David the fuck out. But in Farouk's mind, he's already decided that he's going to be a benevolent figure in David's life, so why shouldn't David see that, why shouldn't David agree with him and just FORGET all of the horrible things that he's done.

And then from there I think s3 proceeds pretty naturally without me having to scramble to justify it.

THERE, that’s my ad-hoc justification for Farouk’s shitty characterization. If you read all of this, I’m impressed.

[setsuntamew]

Kingdom Hearts 3 Liveblog: Part 1

As promised, all spoilers will be under a cut! My understanding of Japanese is very limited, but even with that in mind, there will be plenty of gameplay spoilers and some plot summaries. For now, all "screencaps" are taken with my phone, since I don't wanna spam my PSN friends with spoilers >< Sorry for the low quality shots!

So, for some context: I'm the one doing all the actual playing while Liz (dragonofeternal) and Pat (arahith) watch and provide commentary. I know very minimal Japanese, but the two of them know enough bits and pieces to translate the menus and get the gist of cut scenes. So while we're obv missing a lot of details, we've got a general idea of what's going on! However, this also means that I only have so many pics, because I was doing the gaming. Liz has a more detailed liveblogging experience going on over on their journal, and Pat is just dying of emotions (tho we're pretty much all doing that). 

oh my god oh my god oh my god I honestly lost my mind just over the download. I didn't plan this is advance btw; I only realized I could buy digital games on the Japanese PSN a few hours after the game released in Japan, because I have no common sense I guess lmao.

IT'S REALLY HAPPENING!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!! The opening was super gorgeous which like, yeah, I knew it would be from trailers...but seeing it actually happening on my TV??? SO GOOD. It's an extended version of the trailer too; it's got more scenes in it!! Also the only thing (so far at least) that blocks sharing of screenshots/video. The stained glass beginning is done differently than previous games, with floating screens showing clips from past games as your way of choose what to value versus what to give up. It is SLICK as fuck!! And then the big fuckin shadow that you fight (because there's always one....allways) is mirrored and different and it's in a world of pure sky. It's beautiful. It's enough to make me wish I had a 4K TV and PS4 Pro, tbh.

.........uhhhh excuse me? Fuck you Nomura I wanna play the god damn fucking video game please just let me into the fun fucking part of the game!! XD Anyway, the first world was Olympus and I spent most of it figuring out the controls, aka fucking everything up because X and O are reversed in Japanese. I knew this even, from play Final Mixes 1 and 2 back in the day, and yet? Still fuckin it up hardcore XD It's so much fun to play though, which is something I'm probably gonna say a ton of times, but it's true. Since it's the first world, it is technically the "tutorial" world but it doesn't feel like one. Learning all the new play styles comes organically, and it's all very intuitive- especially considering I can only understand about 30% of the instructions they game is giving me. I love Hercules; it's my favorite Disney movie. I nearly burst into tears of joy when I got to explore Thebes because holy shit it felt like walking through my favorite Disney movie??? It felt like it was crafted with such love and care...There was a lot of thought put into KH3, and it shines for it. I wish it hadn't been such a long wait but also? It's done so well, it was worth it. Also, controlling a giant magical pirate ship is the dopest thing ever and I would like to kill basically all heartless with that now. The magical Disney rides as an attack system works even better than I had hoped :D It's my favorite new addition so far. Going to Mt. Olympus was fantastic as well!!!! The whole time, Liz, and I were making jokes about how Sora was gonna have to apologize to Hercules for breaking all of the stuff in his dad's house, and I think Pat almost had a hernia when I started breaking things in Hephaestus's forge.

Finishing up Olympus rewarded me with my boy Riku!!!! He's been my fave since KH1 and just...hello Riku :D I fucking hate demon towers but playing as Riku was slick. It definitely reminded me of Aqua in 0.2, and it reflects the growth he's had versus Sora having to start all over again.

......why are your pants so awkward lookin though??? Like that's an......interesting bulge :T Please...please wear your pants differently in the future...

Aaaaaand my other boy, Ienzo!!!! I just about screamed and jumped out of my seat in excitement; I somehow didn't expect to see him quite so early!! I'm a little disappointed that we haven't gone to Radiant Garden so far, but cell phone Ienzo is more than enough to keep me satisfied. I loved him asking Aeleus if he wanted to talk to Roxas, too, because fuck that's adorable?? Too cute. Too good. If anyone makes Ienzo cry I will fight them. FUCKING TWILIGHT TOWN IS GORGEOUS I DIED FIFTY TIMES FROM JOY (but not during the massively overpowered demon tower fight because I'm good at video games). It was so fucking good to get to go back and see it lovingly rendered in high def. I almost immediately went to find the crack in the wall, got upset that someone had apparently fixed the glaring hole in the wall, and found a back way to the forest through the sewers :D

Remy is adorable??? Like I didn't get good enough shots because I was just too into the cut scene, okay, it was cute. I was very sad that they left him behind (and pleased when apparently Scrooge decided to employ him later, because he knows what's up).

Hi sorry I have to go cry??? Forever????????? Because apparently I wasn't ready to see the Twilight Town mansion without being a big fucking baby! I just...it breaks my heart. These kids and their tragedies hurt me deeply and just. It hurts so good.

R O X A S!!!!!!!!!!!! sobs sobs please help him Sora ;w;

Pence has hacked into the mainframe :D

NOT.

Real talk though, getting to see Hayner, Pence, and Olette again was so fucking good, and watching Pence be a useful nerd was A+ for sure. And just basically everyone being like yeah Sora can't work technology please keep him away from it forever, thanks. It's good. It's good shit!!!!

Something about this shot feels very melancholy, and I while I don't think it was what the end of this cut scene was supposed to feel like, it feels a bit like foreshadowing.

Speaking of problems...I know they were talking about something serious in this scene, but Liz and I kept re-dubbing it with cracky bullshit and so now it makes me giggle. Oops!! Seriously though, it's like "Hey Ansem, maybe stop checking out teenagers? It's getting kinda creepy, even for us villains." "But they're so cute..."

I'm so sorry I'm like this.

Aaaaaaand I'm gonna cut it here, with this fantastic Xemnas face! See y'all next time with Toybox, Kingdom of Corona, and potentially Monstropolis, depending on how much time I have to write at work today :D

[bethgreeneishopeunseen]

Beth's small green diary/journal

Do you remember Beth’s green colored small diary/journal she had with her from season 3 (Though, it was never really shown but her narration from 4x10 does indicate that she had it in her possession during season 3) to season 4B? I remember from her narration of 4x10, she used her voice to recap the events from the end of season 2 and throughout season 3. She mentioned Lori and her pregnancy with Judith. I don’t know about you but for me, I feel like that specific diary/journal entry she wrote and narrated about in 4x10 is a key and plays a vital role for her to finding Rick, Maggie, Daryl and everyone else from TF (excluding Tyreese, Sasha, Bob, Abraham, and Glenn because they passed away. R.I.P btw), I mean I think she must’ve written other diary/journal entries that isn’t just the one she narrated. If you remember from the first episode of season 4A, Daryl walked to her and see her writing down something on her journal. Idk Taylor but knowing Scott Gimple and the evil tricks and weird tactics he has on his sleeves, the good question to always ask yourself: “Why would Gimple make Beth narrate the events from the end of season 2B and throughout season 3 when it’s not necessary and no other character has done that except her?” And of course, being TD like you, the answer is none other than the fact that Beth’s alive, like duh!

One last thing I want to include in this post so that you, BethGreeneWarriorPrincess, and the rest of TD members and your followers as well can see. Knowing that Tyreese died somewhere in a woodsy area that isn’t too far from Grady but I know for sure it’s in Virginia where Noah’s community was. Rick and TF dug a grave for Tyreese and put his beanie on the cross in some grassfield around the woods area. I feel like we’ll go back to where he was buried as Beth. I think that she’ll see that as the sign that her family had been there before and will probably see that as the first sign leading up to them. Of course, I think she’ll be able to tell that it’s Tyreese’s grave because of his beanie hanging from the wooden cross but I’m not sure. What do you think? What are your thoughts and opinions?

——————————————————————————————————–

“Hey, I know it’s been awhile, and I’m going to be honest. I forgot about you. After the farm, we were always moving. But something happened…something good, finally. We found a prison. Daddy thinks that we can make it into a home. He says we can grow crops in a field, find pigs and chickens, stop running, stop scavenging. Lori’s baby is just about due. She’ll need a safe place when it comes. The rest of us, we just need a safe place to be. I woke up in my own bed yesterday…my own bed in my own room. I’ve been keeping my backpack, keeping my gun close. I’ve been afraid to get my hopes up, thinking we can actually stay here. The thing is I’ve been starting to get afraid that it’s easier just to be afraid. But this morning Daddy said something. If you don’t have hope, what’s the point of living. So I unpacked my bag, and I found you. So I’m gonna start writing in you again. And I’m gonna write this down now because you should write down wishes to make them come true. We can live here. We can live here for the rest of our lives.

[…] We’re not going to die…none of us. I believe now. I believe for Daddy. If this doesn’t work, I don’t know how I could keep going.”

Beth’s diary means so much to me because it reveals so much about her character and how human she is. It’s important.

With that in mind, I think Gimple included the entry for several reasons. He considered the diary important. In the 4x01 commentary, he revealed that when Daryl came to see her, Beth was writing about a trip she had taken to Atlanta (X). Not only does that show how much Gimple values her character, but it also foreshadowed Grady, her next “trip to Atlanta”. (There was also a birdcage in her bedroom with a number “4” inside of it, referring to Slabtown: X.) 

By using a voiceover, which is rare in the show, TPTB called attention to this entry. A “look, this is important!” moment. The entry foreshadowed Alexandria and the other communities in Virginia, where the group is finally able to put down roots so to speak, as well as Maggie’s pregnancy. Because with Glenn gone, it’s just Maggie’s baby. (Notice that Beth only wrote “Lori’s baby” as the group knew of the affair and uncertain paternity.) And Lauren even said that Maggie is trying to build a safe hold for the baby (X), so there’s another thread. Maggie’s sonogram picture also included numbers that referenced issues #35 and #44, both of which allude to Beth through her associations with the comic characters of Alice and Andrea (X). 

Beth will be taking Alice’s escape arc, as she was a nurse-in-training who escaped from Woodbury, and I think Beth will also be her sister’s midwife, assisting Dr. Edwards. Alice helped Lori through birthing Judith, so it’s not unreasonable that Beth would be there for her sister. Gimple was recently on a Talking Dead special this summer and brought up Maggie’s pregnancy (X):

“Hardwick used a question from fans to ask the showrunner if Maggie’s baby would arrive before Season 8 comes to an end. Surprisingly, Gimple completely answered the question. “Maggie’s baby will not be born is Season 8,” Gimple said. “But anything’s possible.”” 

In the comics, we never see the baby be born due to the time jump after the All Out War arc. The baby, Hershel Jr., is about a year old when readers first see him on page. But I’m not sure if the show writers would waste an emotional moment of Glenn and Maggie’s being born, who is living proof of Glenn’s legacy. Gimple is a nerd and very involved with his work, in interviews he tends to give detailed explanations. I can understand being tight-lipped about the upcoming season, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he lied in order to preserve a secret. If Beth is connected to Maggie’s pregnancy, I can understand him finding any reason to avoid the topic then. Better to not talk about it at all than risk giving something away.

Furthermore, the diary entry stung for the audience because it reminded them of how much the characters had lost and showed them how much Beth had lost. Because Beth was still relatively unknown to viewers. It introduced us to her internal world and narrative. She’s so astute and she always has been. At seventeen she recognized that what the group needed was some psychological shelter, a place where they could stop running and just process what had happened to them in the past year. From seasons 2 to 3, most people wrote her off as a red shirt, and by pulling back to that time, Gimple is showing them that they’re wrong. Beth was always a complex character, a strong young woman. She just hadn’t had the chance to speak yet. 

Reread the end of the entry again: “We can live here./We’re not going to die.” Those lines reflect Beth’s deepest wishes. This summer my brother and a family friend were watching this episode, and after the voiceover played, they dismissed the entry and Beth as “naïve”. Which, is just a totally wrong reading of her character and the text. Beth knew that they were all on borrowed time, even then. She wasn’t writing out her actual thoughts about their survival, she was writing down her wishes. She just wanted all of them to live and to have some goddamn peace. The diary entry is a rehearsal for Beth’s confession on the porch, where she reveals to Daryl that she just wanted her father to live the rest of his life in peace, to see her sister and brother-in-law start a family, to have some holidays like real people. The last paragraph in the diary further serves to undercut viewers’ perception of Beth’s “naïvety” by having her acknowledge it herself! Even then Beth knew that it probably wasn’t going to happen! She believed but she believed for her father, not for herself. She needed something, she needed a will to keep going. Beth made it through her depression and suicide attempt, but speaking from personal experience, you don’t just walk away from that kind of shit without ghosts, without a shadow over you. Beth made it through her depression, but she had to make the choice to do so every single fucking day.

“I’ve been keeping my backpack, keeping my gun close. I’ve been afraid to get my hopes up, thinking we can actually stay here. The thing is I’ve been starting to get afraid that it’s easier just to be afraid.”

And honestly. I have C-P.T.S.D., which is slightly different and more complicated than general P.T.S.D., but Beth just described my life at the moment. I was abused and betrayed by my entire immediate family, betrayed my close friends. It often feels like my entire world has ended. And I get scared of what would happen if I let people in, and I often have fantasies of living in a big houseboat one day with my cats and sailing off, alone for my whole life. Because that’s safer than people. Beth has P.T.S.D., and she knows that to an extent. She realizes what the apocalypse and what all its traumas have done to her, how she’s changed from the innocent girl she was. But she doesn’t let that girl go. She holds onto this part of herself, but she builds an armor around her to keep her alive. That “just another dead girl” part of Beth will fucking outlive everything.

… Anyway, in regards to the second part of your ask, I do think it’s possible that Beth could come across Tyreese’s grave and recognize the beanie. He would be buried relatively close to Richmond, and from there she would infer that her family probably moved onward. Though I’m not sure if TPTB would do that because Beth doesn’t have much of an emotional connection to Tyreese, onscreen anyway. Tyreese was mostly affected by her death because he felt responsible for it, as he suggested the peaceful hostage exchange. We’ll just have to wait and see.

[briteboy]

WHO is Santi and WHERE is his face?

i am LIVING for your warm & colorful posts right now!! your editing is so amazing and it brightens my day everytime i see a new post of yours *.*

THANK YOU!!!! <3 i am so happy/relieved to be using warm colors once more, i feel like myself again. don’t get me wrong, i do like evoking different moods, but sometimes (a lot of the time, especially with santi) too much is too much. today’s posts were HOPEfully my last emo edits..............for now

LOL I actually made a comment about Fiona naming a cat/dog (once Pets comes out) Rodrigo. I'll go back underground now haha (still a great story, cant wait to read more) -Runaway NONY

OH I DIDN’T EVEN SEE THAT wtf. either tumblr ate it or i accidentally scrolled past it i’m sorry. i always enjoy seeing messages from anons who return to my inbox! but lmAO that’s a good idea. i actually met the most perfect dog today and now i know the breed and name of dog santi needs immediately

Hii! If you dont mind me askin, how do you edit your darker screenshots? I always end up making them too light or too dark to see a thing :( Thank you!

hmmm idk what to tell you about making them too light or too dark, because that’s a very specific thing that really depends on the picture. BUT i know that the dodge tool is my bff for brightening up dark pictures while still retaining some of the darker elements you want in them (aversely, the burn tool will help darken parts), messing with the exposure can also really help, coloring can also help too, selective color is my bff especially with blue shadows and orangey skin...this is kind of a broad answer, i’m sorry, but if you needed help with something specific, let me know!

I remember you answered an ask and said you drew tears when you edit right? Is there a reason you don't use CC tears?

i answered this like two weeks ago but i can’t find it so whateveR i’ve used cc tears a few times but there’s only like three of those in existence and my characters have cried a LOT. i feel like it would be kinda weird if they had the same tears every time. also there are just some variations that i like to customize myself by drawing, like sometimes they’ll be full on sobbing, sometimes just one single tear...it just depends on the situation, that’s why i draw ‘em.

Santi is my favorite Harvest Moon character.

idk shit about harvest moon so idk how to respond to this :[ here’s a small picture of michael cera with a cactus

Would you recommend buying a macbook for playing sims?

if a macbook is what you already have, then yeah, i’d say it suffices without many problems. if you’re specifically going out and buying a computer with the knowledge that you’ll be playing sims on it, then mmmmmm i’d probably say no...but it also depends on if you’re like gonna get REALLY into storytelling and cc n shit or if it’s just casual gameplay with a mods folder that’s like 5 gb or less...if it’s the latter i think it should also be fine. but yeah it just depends on what kind of gaming you’re planning on doing.

How can I read your story from the beginning? Is there a link or something? I keep seeing it on my feet and it looks so great!

thank you! there’s a button at the top of my page that says “story directory” but if you’re on mobile you can just go here or copy this link: http://femmesim.tumblr.com/tagged/story/chrono

I've talked to u like once before and I'm to shy to talk to u again... Why am I like fish?

This**

we are all like fish if you really think about it lmao but really just reach out my dude! if we talked once then y’know you already broke the ice so just go for it!! i am here and ready to talk about all the things under the sun

Do you use Topaz Clean?

yep

hi hello so maybe I am just a blind bean but may I ask how in god's name do you get your images to be so crisp? I have everything set up, but it seems as if when I do my thing in Photoshop, everything turns out lookin like a blobfish. I'm not sure if you use another person's topaz settings or if you have your own. Thank you so much if you do respond bc I was too much of a wuss to message you *cries in Spanish*

OMG well it’s mostly just resizing, smart sharpening, and most importantly topaz clean (see above) that makes them so crisp. i also use the sharpen tool on sims’ faces, and the smudge tool when something is particularly pixelated or whatever. everything i do is listed in here! UR NOT A WUSS *hugs you in spanish*

youre my inspiration to be a better writer. I know i'm good and giving characters depth and backgrounds and coming up with a rough story idea. but i rush things and i'm not great at putting it into a good story so ya. My story on simblr started out as casual gameplay but i wanted it to be more and i'm trying to get better @ everything

OMG ;_________; it sounds like you are a good writer already, and it’s awesome that you recognize your strengths while also acknowledging that you need to work on some things as well. i try to do the same and i think that’s what keeps me level headed. it sounds like you just need to dedicate some time to planning, that way you start to realize all the nuances of your story that come together to flesh out that initial rough idea. you seem to have a positive attitude, so that’s great!! you’re already getting better and better, i know it <3

now Santi's song is Post Malone - Congratulations

OMF LMAO u sent this when santi finally got to mexico and it’s fitting

sos i was listening to the song fight song by rachel platten when i saw the photoset of santi making it to mexico and now i can't stop ugly crying please make it stop

omG i see it TAKE BACK UR LIFE SANTI U GOT THIS

This is so random but like, can I just say that you're so amazing like?? Why?? You're so sweet and funny and I love you very much ok

AKJSKJDFKJS THANK YOU THIS IS SO NICEEEE ;-; i try but a lot of the time i feel like a sarcastic asshole lmao thank u for thinking otherwise <3

Am I the only one who's like... really mad about pets being NPCs? I just feel like being able to control them was the best part. I don't really feel like the EP is worth it without them. Like, don't get me wrong, I understand that the team worked really hard on it, but I feel like they didn't do it as well as they could have.

hmm i’m kind of meh on that front because like on one hand i did like controlling pets and the novelty of the fact that you could just see their different interactions firsthand, but ultimately i think i’m okay with not controlling them because it makes it more realistic for me and honestly they’re probably more likely to take care of themselves a little bit more if they’re automated, because i’m just thinking about ts3 pets and how i literally had to make them go pee outside otherwise they’d pee in the house...even if they were well trained and stuff lmao. plus there might be a cheat or mod that lets you control them, like there was in ts2? so don’t lose hope yet.

hey your blog is AWESOME, i read through your stories in a day and am obsessed (kind of in love with gianni) ❤ what are some of your favorite ts4 blogs? i'm trying to find more awesome blogs to read through during my miserable journey of trying to get the game to work on my computer lol

heyo here’s some! thank you btw, and i hope your miserable journey ends soon :{

(I really need to get this off my chest) ok so my aunt is currently in a critical condition after having a kidney failure and she's in desperate need for a new one and I'm the only one in my family that's a match (so far) but I'm not allowed to donate bc I myself have severe health issues affecting my day to day life that would make it extremely dangerous for me to remove a kidney. I'm so fucking frustrated you don't understand like I just want to cry most of the time

first off i’m so sorry that this is even happening to you ;__; and you’re an amazing person for being willing to help out your aunt like that, so just know it isn’t your fault that you’re unable to. don’t guilt yourself for it okay? is there any other possible donor at all? i wanna know how this situation ends up. i really hope your aunt will be okay. just stay close to your family for support and don’t blame yourself.

how did you get photoshop for free? I'm trying to find a link that won't give me a virus, but I had no luck yet

the pirate bay is ur friend

Ok I gotta rant. GoT does NOT deserve the hype/amazing ratings. Like, sure the cinematography is pretty great and they have ok actors but the freaking script is so mediocre I actually think I could write a better one. Me. A 16 y/o tiny child. There are so much better shows out there! Hell, even Supernatural has a better script than GoT

whenever ppl agree with me about how much GoT sucks i grow stronger and stronger even the actors are iffy at this point. watching daenerys act is painful, jon snow is wooden as hell, it’s just bad. ur 16 yr old self has more potential than these writers tbh. it’s just completely mediocre; it started out as something great because it followed the same layered storytelling pattern as the books, but it’s diverged from that completely because the writers got too caught up in the hype. and you’re right, it doesn’t deserve that hype! omfdkjsgkj i’ve never watched supernatural but i haven’t heard good things. that’s a low bar

[garden-ghoul]

appendix blog, part 3

“working out... is.... good?”

Hey so I’m skipping Eorl, I already blogged him, or at least I read him. I don’t conceptually separate those processes any more, thanks fiends. I, uh, I meant to type friends there but let’s call it a Freudian typo.

Ah fuck yes after the list of Rohirrim kings it’s time for DURIN’S FOLK

So “Durin is the name that the Dwarves used for the eldest of the Seven Fathers of their race.” Are we ever going to hear about the other six fathers, or is it one of those things where dwarves are extremely close-mouthed about it and only Durin, who they cannot ever shut up about, is ever mentioned near other races?

Durin “slept alone” until the awakening of his people. Did all dwarves sleep alone? Is this a gem kindergarten situation? Please say yes. Please say there is a Durin-shaped hole somewhere that is only known to dwarves and they like, sometimes try to fit themselves into it. The one who is the same size and shape as the original Durin becomes Durin the N+1th. “This hole was made for me,” he declares, and fits himself into it. Everyone cheers, and then they fish him out with a hook before he can slide too far into the mountain. Anyway during the time of Durin VI the dwarves, who are in an absolutely defensible position but are too bored to stop mining, wake up a balrog and have to flee. Durin VI’s son Nain goes to Erebor and finds a very nice rock; most of the Khazad-dum dwarves go to the Grey Mountains in the north, because exploring is fun and profitable! Unfortunately north of the mountain everything is full of dragons. “At last Dáin I, together with Frór his second son, was slain at the door of his hall by a great cold-drake.” I really like the implication I just made up, that the north is full of dragons because they migrated from Angband.

BTW Dain’s other sons are Thror and Gror. Apparently there’s something absolutely essential about the fabric of Ea that makes all peoples independently name their kids dumb themed names. Someone during the Song of Songs or w/e they’re calling it these days accidentally kept repeating one of their trills and it became a line of code essential to the nature of life. Fuck this.

Thror goes to Erebor again, and he makes lots of friendly alliances with other dwarf clans and the humans who live near Erebor (’northmen’). UNFORTUNATELY you cannot have a great and extremely wealthy time around here without a dragon hearing about it, so Smaug the Golden comes to say hi. Thrain II and his dad Thror (original flavor) flee in secret, and then Thror goes into Khazad-dum (possibly it was a suggestion of his Ring). Thror’s bff creeps over to the doors of Khazad-dum and a bunch of orcs are hiding behind the doorframe with Thror’s corpse, presumably working his jaw like a puppet, and laughing their asses off. Written on Thror’s face is the word AZOG. He is king of Khazad-dum now. Thror’s bff tries to take his body for burial, but the orcs throw a sack of small change at his head. It sounds pretty funny to me, but for Nar it’s probably a horrifying parody of a weregild, and an insult. When he looks back, the orcs are hacking up Thror’s body to feed to the local crows. Omg I hope orcs and crows are friends.

Thrain and Nar muster a ton of dwarves to fight, because this will not be borne. They cut through most of the orc strongholds like butter BUT Azog has been saving his strength in Khazad-dum. “So began the Battle of Azanulbizar, at the memory of which the Orcs still shudder and the Dwarves weep.” I LOVE. The fact that absolutely everyone who was involved with this battle in any way has inherited trauma about it. War is no good for anyone at all! Azog has a jolly old time doing murders, until he realizes that HIS guys are actually getting more murdered! He kills Nain and laughs at him, but Nain’s son Dain unexpectedly kills him. It’s accounted extremely heroic, because Dain is like, 16 in dwarf years. It says that “long life and many battles lay before him, until old but unbowed he fell at last in the War of the Ring.” Wait um. Do you mean... the one that takes place in Lord of the Rings? Were dwarves fighting in that?? This is taking place WAY after the Last Alliance isn’t it?? No okay I looked at the end and found the answer, which is that the War of the Ring actually was like 100 years long but relatively low-intensity for most of it.

Anyway,

When at last the battle was won the Dwarves that were left gathered in Azanulbizar. They took the head of Azog and thrust into its mouth the purse of small money, and then they set it on a stake. But no feast nor song was there that night; for their dead were beyond the count of grief. Barely half of their number, it is said, could still stand or had hope of healing.  

Half of everyone is dead or dying, and the dwarf alliance still uses their last bit of energy to be petty. Iconic.

Thrain wants to claim Khazad-dum and live there, but everyone else flat-out refuses. Still a balrog in there, dude! I mean, it didn’t bother the orcs, though. I don’t think balrogs really discriminate between orcs and other sorts of dudes, so maybe they could sneak up and kill it in its sleep! But Dain says that the world must change and some other power come before Durin’s folk will live again in Moria. That was Gandalf, right? He did slay the balrog. I hope the dwarves can come back now in the fourth age!! It’s going to take so much fixing up but like... it still exists, mostly intact. A chance to reclaim their heritage.

Thrain and his son Thorin go into exile with the few people who will still follow him--almost everyone is pissed that he got their entire families killed and they can’t even go get treasure in Khazad-dum. So Thrain and co settle in the east of Ered Luin. There’s a bit here about how the Seven Rings turned out to be totally pointless for Sauron because you simply Cannot enslave dwarves.  “They were made from their beginning of a kind to resist most steadfastly any domination. Though they could be slain or broken, they could not be reduced to shadows enslaved to another will.” I love the implication that because dwarves were sculpted--note that we never hear AFAIK what elves or humans are made of!--they are more substantial and solid. Mmm I think they have a super solid connection to Arda, and just as even Arda Marred is still largely influenced by the Valar dwarves cannot be wholly corrupted. IDK it’s just the,,, shadow vs stone thing. Sauron enslaves people and it destroys their substance. Dwarves are too substantial? Someone help me out here.

Thrain is still influenced by the Ring, though, driven to go in search of Erebor and its treasure again.  

As soon as he was abroad with few companions he was hunted by the emissaries of Sauron. Wolves pursued him, Orcs waylaid him, evil birds shadowed his path, and the more he strove to go north the more misfortunes opposed him. There came a dark night when he and his companions were wandering in the land beyond Anduin, and they were driven by a black rain to take shelter under the eaves of Mirkwood. In the morning he was gone from the camp, and his companions called him in vain...

I love how fairy-tale-ish this passage is. Wolves pursued him! Evil birds shadowed his path! He vanished utterly into air! Sauron was the boojum all along! I’m jazzed about this. Less jazzed about the following explanation: he was kidnapped and tortured in Dol Guldur. Whatever, I guess.

Meanwhile Thorin, who is now king, hammers away on his anvil. It will keep his arm strong. Hella.

Thorin meets Gandalf by accident in an inn in Bree and is like “hey I have been having dreams about you, that’s pretty weird right?” “No no,” says Gandalf, “actually I have been dreaming about you too.” And THAT is how The Hobbit happened.

Wait omg it says here Fili and Kili are Thorin’s “sister-sons.” THIS IMPLIES THE EXISTENCE OF A SECOND DWARF GENDER... WTF... don’t fucking toy with my heart like this Johnald. AH--

Dís was the daughter of Thráin II. She is the only dwarf-woman named in these histories. It was said by Gimli that there are few dwarf-women, probably no more than a third of the whole people. They seldom walk abroad except at great need. They are in voice and appearance, and in garb if they must go on a journey, so like to the dwarf-men that the eyes and ears of other peoples cannot tell them apart. This has given rise to the foolish opinion among Men that there are no dwarf-women, and that the Dwarves 'grow out of stone'. 

 It is because of the fewness of women among them that the kind of the Dwarves increases slowly, and is in peril when they have no secure dwellings. For Dwarves take only one wife or husband each in their lives, and are jealous, as in all matters of their rights. The number of dwarf-men that marry is actually less than one-third. For not all the women take husbands: some desire none; some desire one that they cannot get, and so will have no other.

Why did they even mention Dis? She doesn’t do anything. I’m retconning, this, obviously. Dwarves just have a super low fertility rate, and woman gender is one of those things that like... doesn’t translate well. There’s no woman gender, because dwarves haven’t invented gender. There’s just dwarves who are currently capable of bearing children. I can’t remember if I got this from Pratchett or not, but it’s a good chance. I just really like the idea that dwarves kind of nod and smile uncertainly when asked to understand a culture that has genders. “Humans really do have an exceptionally high fertility rate,” murmurs one to another. “A lot of ‘women.’��� “One just can’t keep track of them,” sighs the other. This is kind of incoherent because Tolkien is actively trying to ruin it, but whatever. Moving on.

After the fall of Sauron, Gimli brought south a part of the Dwarf-folk of Erebor, and he became Lord of the Glittering Caves. He and his people did great works in Gondor and Rohan. For Minas Tirith they forged gates of mithril and steel to replace those broken by the Witch-king. Legolas his friend also brought south Elves out of Greenwood, and they dwelt in Ithilien, and it became once again the fairest country in all the westlands.

Nice! Gay! Also holy shit, mithril gates. Where the hell did they get all that. Hey maybe Sauron had a huge stockpile of mithril and some people went to sift thru the wreckage of Mordor and reclaim it. Radical.

We have heard tell that Legolas took Gimli Glóin's son with him because of their great friendship, greater than any that has been between Elf and Dwarf. If this is true, then it is strange indeed: that a Dwarf should be willing to leave Middle-earth for any love, or that the Eldar should receive him, or that the Lords of the West should permit it.

Hey. Hey. That’s gay.

[philipshay]

all of the writing questions 1-54

1. Favorite place to write.

my bed lmao 

2. Favorite part of writing.

that moment when you just frantically have to get something out??? and the words just spill out like crazy and idk its amazing

3. Least favorite part of writing.

having to write the boring chunky stuff thats essential for plot

4. Do you have writing habits or rituals?

not really tbh

5. Books or authors that influenced your style the most.

maggie stiefvater and lauren oliver definitely

6. Favorite character you ever created.

so shes my current mc for my trilogy and her name is isla and i just really fucking love her

7. Favorite author.

lauren oliver

8. Favorite trope to write.

i love angst idk if thats a trope??

9. Least favorite trope to write.

probably like.....idk tbh i dont have anything that i dont like when it comes to tropes

10. Pick a writer to co-write a book with and tell us what you’d write about.

i would die to write a book with lauren oliver like i would write anything she wanted to write

11. Describe your writing process from scratch to finish.

step one: frantically write a paragraph or scene

step two: frantically try and fill in around that first thing

step three: leave it alone for a while

step four: finish when the motivation returns

12. How do you deal with self-doubts?

the only way to deal with them for me is to just. let them be. i know im gonna have them, and that i cant get rid of them, so i just work around them. i write regardless of them. 

13. How do you deal with writers block?

take a break for a little while. read something. watch something. wait for it to become easy to write again.

14. What’s the most research you ever put into a book?

for my first book i did hours of research on amputations and prosthetics and stuff because my mc was an amputee

15. Where does your inspiration come from?

everywhere. songs or quotes or shows or books. 

16. Where do you take your motivation from?

readers and just myself. i enjoy the writing and it makes me feel good to do it. 

17. On avarage, how much writing do you get done in a day?

i try and write a little each day. but some days it doesnt work and i have to just set it down. 

18. What’s your revision or rewriting process like?

look...i fucking hate revision and i grumble through it and hate it

19. First line of a WIP you’re working on.

its for an evak fic btw: 

Something that Isak Valtersen has tried to accept over the last year is that sometimes love isn’t enough.

20. Post a snippet of a WIP you’re working on.

from my book: 

One of her hands came up to cup my head, and she held me tighter than she ever had before. It reminded me of when I was small, on the nights I was afraid and young and didn’t understand why I had to stay downstairs. 

The small basement had seemed so big when I was a child. Monsters lurked in all of its corners. Demons waited in the shadows. 

I myself was a monster, but I didn’t know it yet. I was a different type of monster; I was the type that couldn’t be killed. I was too human for that. I was the dredge of humanity. 

But the thing is, when half of the population is as well, it’s much harder to hunt us. It’s much harder to hunt us when we share the faces of those that are good. 

Before I knew what I was, my mother would come downstairs and tell me that one day I wouldn’t be scared, that one day I wouldn’t have to spend every day downstairs. She’d hold me and whisper empty promises. 

Even then, as she held me, there was another empty promise on her lips. She didn’t say it, as I was far too old to believe it, but I knew what she was thinking.

21. Post the last sentence you wrote in one of your WIP’s.

from my current book too:

Because it was a lie. My freedom was a beautiful, beautiful lie. 

22. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied and a project is ultimately done for you?

okay so honestly im a 1 draft kinda girl and then i go in and edit. 

23. Single or multi POV, and why?

it really depends but currently i prefer single.

24. Poetry or prose, and why?

prose. it has more freedom.

25. Linear or non-linear, and why?

i havent written non linear but i really love it because its so complex and theres so many ways to slowly reveal things and idk its amazing

26. Standalone or series, and why?

ive noticed that most books that are in a series are never as good as book 1. but, that said, there are some worlds that i love to live in and will totally take multiple books. 

27. Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished? 

usually wait until its polished

28. And who do you share them with?

i have a writing friend amy who i used to share everything with and other than her i guess tumblr? idk

29. Who do you write for?

myself. 

30. Favorite line you’ve ever written.

this sounds conceited but there’s so many that i like. i guess one of my favs is: 

Sometimes people leave, and sometimes they’re lost. And sometimes we don’t ever find out why. That’s a darkness that just doesn’t go away.

31. Hardest character to write.

writing my mc marley from my first book was difficult because she had so much anger towards what happened to her and it blinded her to quite a bit. and as the author i knew she was going to get over that but the character herself didnt, and it was hard. 

32. Easiest character to write.

so this is fic but tbh percy jackson because it was on him and the other pjo characters that i learned to write and i spent so much time in that world that i know the characters

33. Do you listen to music when you’re writing?

yep usually

34. Handwritten notes or typed notes?

typed

37. Most inspirational quote you’ve ever read or heard that’s still important to you.

probably “The promblem isn’t your thighs. The problem is your head.” because it reminds me that my eating disorder is the real enemy, not food. 

39. Do you base your characters of real people or not? If so, tell us about one.

definitely on real people. there are pieces of people i know in all of my characters. like the nurse that helped marley in my first book is based off my friend amy. 

40. Original Fiction or Fanfiction, and why?

both. they both have their perks and their cons. 

41. How many stories do you work on at one time?

so many. so so so many. 

42. How do you figure out your characters looks, personality, etc.

it comes in pieces. like, i just figured out a few days ago that my mc wasnt a redhead after all. it just happens naturally. it occurs to me randomly tbh. 

43. Are you an avid reader?

i used to be. i do love reading but i dont do it as much anymore. 

47. Do you start with characters or plot when working on a new story?

it depends. 

48. Favorite genre to write in.

i love dystopian and contemporary.

49. What do you find the hardest to write in a story, the beginning, the middle or the end?

the beginning. 

52. How did writing change you?

it showed me who i was. it gave me purpose and showed me what i wanted to do and idk it made me into the person i am. 

53. What does writing mean to you?

everything. writing is so important to me like....its everything. 

54. Any writing advice you want to share?

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” it truly is. comparison is the enemy. try not to take part in that shit. 

[sleepymarmot]

Andromeda liveblog: day one

Spoilers!

Eos/Tempest:

The Vault is beautiful! Even though the moving bridges, just like the floating rocks on Habitat 7, are blatantly copy-pasted from Trespasser.

Drack said the fight was fun. Of course it was -- that was the first time I used Annihilation/Charge/Nova!

Military or science -- how is that even a question? :D

Even back in the trial, I instantly became fond of the Tempest crew, in a way different from the Normandy. Not bound by the blood they spilled together -- but a team of nerds and people taking care of those nerds, pretty much. Feels more like the Enterprise!

What helps is that there's already a net of relationships between everyone -- I was thinking about it when Drack was revealed to be Kesh's father and talked about their problems with Tann and their relationship with Vetra. The Nexus backstory really gives depth to this game.

I didn't expect this, but I actually do like Peebee! Since her first trailer appearance, I've been annoyed with her -- obligatory asari LI, shitty design with a sexualized outfit and eyebrows, manic pixie dream girl-ish image -- but her personality won me over. She's a bit similar to my Ryder, and they clicked instantly -- two young, energetic explorers. And she doesn't seem too quirky so far, just a very extroverted nerd. And she has something nice to say about everyone on the ship!

You know, I've been wishing for a romance with a nerdy but genuinely nice person (unlike a certain elf...) and looks like I have not one but two -- and female! -- options here! :D 

The first flirt option with Peebee is good, the second is not.

Ah yes, a readheaded religious wlw written by the same person as Leliana... Look, Leliana is special to me, but this is just annoying. Maybe because Leliana is special.

Another convo with Vetra: "Someone had to know" "Did your father?" "I'm not sure" LOOK THE CONFIRMATIONS JUST KEEP ROLLING IN

Oh, here comes the flirt option I've seen on Youtube! I feel a bit awkward hitting on both of them repeatedly... Will I, on my seventh Bioware game, finally encounter a jealousy conversation?

Peebee has attractive personality, but Vetra's fashion style is obviously superior.

*looks at Liam's handsome face, sighs and stops herself from hitting the heart because that'd be a bit too much*

Nexus/Hyperion:

I love that Tann is the only real politician around, and everybody won't stop complaining about him, even though he's completely benign :D

It's a great feeling that doing sidequests is completely justified this time. In this game, it's literally my job to fly around and ensure random strangers' wellbeing! Oh look, someone on Reddit made a post appreciating this too.

"Your father is my problem. He's everyone's problem. We're all paying for Alec Ryder's ego. He preyed on Jien Garson's trusting nature and bulldozed us to this godforsaken place" !!! More evidence!! (Random angry woman on the Hyperion)

This is a great way to introduce flashbacks! And to reveal information gradually.

SAM is basically the third Ryder child, huh.

The camera angle and lighting in SAM's room is one of the most flattering in the game.

I'm glad we're actually giving spotlight to the transhumanism theme, unlike with Shepard...

Or maybe SAM is Ellen's reincarnation somehow? It's clear Alec somehow intended to save her with it, but how? I'm genuinely enjoying this mystery. Alec sure has a lot of character and presence, especially for a character with so little actual screentime... You can see his shadow over the entire story.

There's some nice animation at Scott's bedside!

"Is dad okay?" Shit. Shit. Now that's a choice...

(I mean, what she's saying will turn out to be true, hopefully...)

I didn't lie about Habitat 7, though. That's not as important.

Holy crap, that was an emotional scene.

I like Garson's Super Ethical VI Interview.

Professor Gerik in the lab on Nexus has a letter about us being invasive species and preserving local biodiversity! That's nice. (But on the other hand, we'd endanger it just as much if the Scourge hadn't done it first.)

Female Salarians look like male Salarians and sound like female humans. I should just learn to live with the fact that there'll be no real Salarian voices in this galaxy... Ugh.

Ahh Drack is visiting Kesh!!

Have I mentioned how fond I am of our new council/advisors? Kandros is a bit bland, but the other three are great.

30 minutes after I said that SAM is like another sibling to Ryder, he got infected with a virus. Give this family a break!

Of course the hackers were wrong etc, but the things hacked!Avina says are still absolutely correct...

BTW I chose to unfreeze merchants first -- to get the bigger inventory. Ugh, the lack of inventory was one of my favourite things about ME2 and ME3...

I had to read a walkthrough for "Station Sabotage"...

I like the design of Zara's face.

The Nexus sidequests are all about intrigue and investigation! Just like the main one about Alec, and the characters' backstories related to the uprising. Nice. I feel like a detective. It really gives the game a unique feel.

The saboteur has a good face too. And another sympathetic voice re: the uprising.

Tempest

Cora the gardener!

Damn, that speech about acceptance sure sounds like she's not talking about biotics... Why is she straight, Bioware?

Poor Cora. I can only continue to admire her ability to not hold grudges -- something that impressed me about her when Ryder became the Pathfinder.

It's so cute that the crew members have a group chat, have I mentioned? Really makes the ship look alive.

Vetra, Peebee, Gil and Liam are chatting like old friends! And the fact that they're playing poker reminds me of the Enterprise even more.

Eos

A timed mission to save colonists... with driving... I was so nervous!

FUCK I can't figure out this Fiend fight

I died like four times already what the fuck

Why can't I charge?! What do you mean "wrong target"?!

Also autosave glitches me through the floor every goddamn time!

Died about 8 times, I'm going to replace Peebee with Drack and turn down the difficulty

Oh thank fuck, this time it worked.

*can't find the evidence in the cave* *fast travel back to the start three or four times, get stuck on rocks*

Oh, here it is. Yeah, I enjoy playing detective, but I'd like less bugs!

I died and the game got stuck on reload

Alright, some sidequests are in the level 3 radiation zone which I don't know how to clear, and I can't find the bodies of the dead colonists. It got boring anyway. Back to the ship!

Tempest

Gil sends me an e-mail mentioning Jaal, whom I haven't even met...

Kallo's still arguing with Gil -- I'm pretty sure there's something going on he's not noticing... Nobody else has anything new to say. Let's advance the plot, then.

New solar system/Tempest/Nexus

Whoa, I didn't expect things to get so intense immediately!

Sooo, are you going to explain how the angara got the translators working within several minutes?

Are you trying to tell me the kett and the angara aren't related, despite having exactly the same faces?

Jaal's cape flapping is mesmerizing.

I don't understand, why is everyone being so weird and unprofessional?? Instead of opening normal diplomatic talks, they stand in a circle and say shit about Jaal in his presence. Why the hell are they being so entitled? If the angara help us, of course we need to offer something in return.

Liam, what movie night?! We're kind of busy!

Well, at least Jaal isn't going to let me exhaust all conversation topics in one go! :D

"I LIVE IN AN ESCAPE POD" :D

Stop! Prompting! Me! To! Flirt! With! Gil! Two different times in the same conversation -- what??

Okay, by this point I'm pretty sure that the poker mentions are not just a coincidence but a deliberate reference to TNG. 

When will I have enough materials for an asari sword? Maybe a quick trip to the Nexus will help. *immediately gets buried under sidequests*

What, you don't have laws for attempted murder? That has never happened in the entire history of Milky Way? Bioware sure likes to create a complex situation then make you decide between two extremes. I let the turian stay, but I'm not impressed.

What, and they didn't even tell the public what really happened? Ugh.

Pacified the protesters successfully.

Was prepared to go and realized I forgot one sidequest on the Nexus, went back... I need to stop doing this! It's ruining all momentum.

Havarl (not sure about the spelling)

Main plot again, here we go!

Oops, clicked on the wrong button and now my team still has Vetra instead of Peebee.

Nice scenery.

Okay, it's stupid to leave the planet just to swap squadmates, but it's even stupider to explore this planet without Peebee.

Oh right, there is a spot here for a forward station. (Don't the angara mind?)

There's an entire alien jungle, and nothing is scannable? Really?

@myself stop fucking dying... how am I supposed to fight enemies I don't see without any reasonable cover...

Oh, right, this is normal water, not the Deadly Electric Water. That's a relief, at least.

Oh look, normal cover, I can use my ranged powers like an adept/sentinel I intended to be instead of novaguarding.

Spent like half an hour trying to find a way towards the forward station mark on the east, gave up. This Pathfinder isn't very good at finding paths...

Let's find the gay turian Pathfinder!

What am I going to do with all this nickel? These aren't the materials I'm looking for, Bioware

And finally, after exploring everything else -- the Monolith!

This happened again: the profiles refuse to switch mid-fight. WTF???

"Follow the Remnant river?" You mean, what I've done an hour before? I sure hope the Remnant didn't respawn...

So the Remnant are Order and the Scourge is Chaos? I see we've arrived to witness an existential struggle of cosmic forces...

Why are my companions so useless during exploration? They don't give advice, they don't even have banter like in DA.

Oh GREAT, a jumping puzzle, and in the dark too.

I must say, the design is really beautiful, they nailed the intersection of "Alien", "Ancient" and "Powerful" here. Though I'm salty because it's just a sci-fi variation of the ancient elven design from DAI, which means DA4 won't be able to use it probably.

Nice view! @people with powerful PCs, please photograph these things for the rest of us!

Novaguarding+shotgun (only a Katana!) is so powerful I don't feel the need to do anything else...

We're nearly at the top and there's a health pack. I better save...

The plot thickens!

Oh. Is THIS the forward station I've been looking for? No wonder I didn't find it lmao. They should have just covered it in fog...

Why are shields so much harder to take down than armor? Ugh, that boss. At least on the second try I managed to kite him...

Yes, I climbed the column. Whatever. I got some Vanadium! Finally, I need it for my asari sword.

Oh, okay, THIS is the forward station from above. OK.

One of the enemies I had to defeat in a camp got stuck somewhere and I had to run around for 10 minutes before I found him, except I didn't even see him and he apparently died when I approached, but idk how it happened.

I met the reincarnated dude. And that's enough for today.