#i do like this job and it’s generally fairly easy but fuck it’s rough at times

[teabookgremlin]

usually my boss is so good at managing the schedule and we’re well staffed or even over staffed but yesterday was so hellish

[sassykinzonline]

lmk if im annoying you with my questions. 🫣

the will of fire had been originally about how love would bring peace but within the series it seems to have been twisted into a nationalist idea — maybe im wrong so i want another pov as im working on this essay rn (bc im an adhd mess who cant focus on one thing at a time).

seen with shikamaru’s arc and how he is obviously very pro-konoha. how exacrly do yoi think this idea got twisted so badly? i assume its due to tobirama and danzo tbh. but im not sure. (maybe im not explaining well)..

and also, what are your opinions on every in konoha 11 and how they treated naruto. i think theres a weird conditional acceptance they give him in shippuden but doesnt seem like true friendship. yk)

sorry for the long ask!

i'll just keep telling you i love your questions, someday you'll believe it.

ok so the will of fire: in my opinion its inception is kind of what got fucked up. if we're to believe that the sage and the myth about his kids happened in the land of fire, then thats where that starts. the sage's original mistake was the idea that because one brother had a different perspective, he could be excluded from cooperation. its objectively true that to build civilization you need to have a sense of community, but that doesnt implicitly mean that that sense of community needs to manifest in the same way. indra had that, it just wasnt necessarily his priority. they basically punished him for being an introvert (INTJ specifically) ☠️.

so basically the issue with the will of fire is that from the start it was self-defeating. if we need to "pass on" the will of fire because its about building love and community, then we should be finding ways to include everyone regardless of who they are. if theres some arbitrary point where someone is no longer "part of the group", then youre not building love and community.

thats why you end up with the warring states period, where clans are fighting for no real reason, then the founders era where ultimately hashirama doesnt do a very good job of respecting madara or the uchiha, then like you said things absolutely snowball with tobirama because hes essentially just repeating the mistake the sage made on a systemic scale rather than a personal scale like hashirama did.

i would also say that in making "the will of fire", a fairly jingoistic concept in practice, the founding principle of konoha, hashirama is to blame for the naturally occurring state of fascism konoha descended into. so thematically speaking it IS appropriate that naruto becomes hokage in boruto to "end fascism" (or whatever kishimoto thinks fascism is) because he includes EVERYONE even if theyre villains or war criminals or what have you. hes the embodiment of radical empathy. people might not like that but thats pretty much the only way to have a restorative and progressive society particularly to avoid a boomerang back into fascism to begin with.

generally speaking too, pretty much everyone in a position of power is linked to hashirama in some way because of the way succession works in konoha, so its pretty easy to spread propaganda fast and have it take its foothold across generations. your example of shikamaru being -> asuma -> hiruzen -> tobirama -> hashirama.

konoha 11: i might have a different take on this since i know these people so im gonna try to be a bit open-ended

kiba - i actually think kiba has a somewhat fair interpretation of naruto which is that hes annoying, but just another kid, but also they have the same dream so theyre "rivals". especially since they have the same personality (kinda), i think its easy to see why theres friction between them but theyre also both pretty tenderhearted people. in my opinion they have the kind of relationship most people (usually straight guys) think me and naruto have; that rough and tumble Boys Being Boys crap. in shippuden i think hes in the middle of the pack when it comes to being kind to naruto, from what i remember he seemed to be struggling more with the idea of where his allegiances should lie. the fact that he was questioning it to begin with is more than you can say for a lot of them.

hinata - mouse. wants something from naruto but at least its fairly unconditional, and based on his actual spirit. completely useless to being a straight up liability to him though. but in shippuden at a certain point she seems to be aware of that and doesnt force herself to get in his way and stuff the way sakura does.

shino - irrelevant.

ino - her relationship with naruto is pretty funny. this may be controversial but if i think theres someone who's the biggest victim of misogyny in fandom its her. shes smart, shes a good fighter, shes brave, shes kind, she has a lot of accomplishments to her name, shes talented, i could go on and on, but people think shes "unrealized" because she likes hot guys. but it isnt even like she lets that get in the way of her work like others? she just has high self-esteem? shes another person where i think she was indeed kind of mean to naruto when he was a little shit, but also was nice to him when he was nice. as in she treated him more fairly than others when she didnt have too much of a reason to. i do think though that in shippuden it becomes more clear that at the end of it all though she still subscribes to the "hero of konoha" narrative (her sudden thirst for him 😒), but she still treats naruto the same as always so its less conditional.

shikamaru - hes a bit of a user isnt he? im under the impression his father knew of naruto's lineage and THATS the reason why he encourages his son to try and get closer to him. their family are known to be smart and kind of manipulative so....theyre definitely playing chess in that regard. i think, at least, that hes pretty open about his sentiments towards naruto being largely professional, so naruto doesnt have any misconceptions about where they stand.

choji - follower but also a nice guy so hes kinda in the kiba boat of "probably wants to be genuine with naruto but struggling with how much hes allowed to do that".

sakura - shes a down low hater, an opp and a bootlicker. she exemplifies naruto's conditional acceptance. pass.

sai - hes slightly closer than kiba and choji on the "struggle" bus, where he ends up being closer to being genuine with and siding with naruto. im sure his experiences with root are what influence this. i also dont necessarily think his allegiances are to "konoha", i just think he doesnt really get whats going on so hes kind of just reacting to whats happening and deciding how it feels in that moment. hes like a telltale games character with a compass guiding the decisions he makes as he goes along.

lee - openminded, doesnt seem to have a strong creed and is focused more on being of service whoever is doing the most work. if thats naruto then hes helping naruto. if thats konoha then hes helping konoha. he has good mentorship from guy in that sense.

neji - pro naruto from jump. not even a question.

tenten - she doesnt really have anything to say does she? shes not really a political person, she likes blending in, doing her job, and collecting her weapons.

so overall i would say that theres a good amount of people at least trying to question the system and not stand in opposition of naruto, but the people beholden to the system would pose a decent threat.

[scrunkore]

Scrunkore Media "Thread" 2023: Part 2

welcome back to the scrunko core

14) Ib (Switch, 2023)

One of the real classics of RPG Maker horror games, upgraded for the modern age in just a few little ways that manage to keep the experience feeling as it should. Ib has a perfectly bizarre and creepy atmosphere, making really good use out of its excellent concept of being trapped in a living art gallery, with decent enough puzzles to keep you engaged throughout. I'm a big fan of its vibes and its exploration of loneliness and art in general, and it has a really strong trio of characters and various different endings that I found myself liking a lot. Now's as good a time as any to check this game out. [4.5★]

15) Everything Everywhere All At Once (Movie, 2022)

Kind of a critical darling as well as an audience favourite around when it came out, and yeah, I agree with everyone else - this movie is fantastic. Really good and creative direction in an absolutely wild ride through parallel universes, family and generational trauma that I'm told can hit really hard for the Chinese-American demographic and others like it but can be enjoyed by just about anyone. It uses its ideas pretty much perfectly, and it has a whole multiverse of them to play with; I was fully engaged throughout the whole experience. It deserved those awards. [5★]

16) Fire Punch (Manga, 2016-2018)

Tatsuki Fujimoto's earlier manga series, wrapping up just before his biggest claim to fame began, really can feel like Chainsaw Man's fucked up older brother - and it kind of is, really. It does touch on some of the same things, but the world is even harsher and the suffering even greater, and the overall mood can seem a lot more nihilistic, but there is hope in there still. It's also a harder read than Chainsaw Man, but it stands alone as a rough tale of struggling through an apocalyptic world, and it gets bonus points from me for its heartbreaking trans character I don't want to spoil. I'm not sure how much I'd recommend it, with the particular kinds of misery involved feeling gratuitous at times, but I am glad I read it. [4★]

17) Super Lesbian Animal RPG (PC, 2022)

The title kind of says it all here, this is a superb RPG about anthro animal girls in lesbian relationships, and it does an excellent job at delivering exactly that with a lot more besides. The whole cast is likeable, even the asshole characters, and the story is a mix of really good fun and powerful emotional beats, naturally being queer as hell to boot. I really appreciate the gameplay too, it's by default a fairly easy game until pretty late, but it's quite well-balanced and goes out of its way to ensure you'll never even think about grinding (levels cap at 30, even), plus a lot of the fights are just really fun. Excellent visuals and incredible soundtrack too, just a perfectly well-rounded super lesbian animal RPG that I have no real complaints with at all. [5★]

18) Tembo the Badass Elephant (PC, 2015)

A little controversial back when it released for daring to be a Game Freak game not on either of the Nintendo consoles in circulation at the time, this game is... well, it's fine. Just a decent enough 2D action platformer that feels like if you modded Wario into a Sonic game with how you can speed through levels smashing up everything in your way, but the level design and even the odd boss fight reminds me of some of the worst parts of Sonic games at times, so I'm not super fond of it. It does have plenty of charm though, with a fun cartoony artstyle and some 3D setpieces that do make one wonder why it wasn't on 3DS. Controlling a badass action hero elephant saving as many people as possible is a neat idea, too. [3★]

19) Picross 3D (DS, 2009)

There have been many different takes on Picross over the years, under many different names as well, but almost nobody has done it quite like HAL did with Picross 3D. It feels like a whole different breed of puzzle, and it is indeed nothing like regular 2D Picross - the transformation into cube-based puzzles makes things far more advanced, often more difficult, and a lot more rewarding. There's not much more to this game other than the massive amount of puzzles to solve and the option to create your own, but it doesn't really need anything else. Some puzzles are extremely hard, but that's alright, and the game is the perfect fit for the DS hardware. [4★]

20) Picross 3D Round 2 (3DS, 2015)

I technically played this a bit later, but I think it makes sense to put this next to the first game. HAL managed to do it again, innovating further on the 3D Picross concept with different shapes that you can turn blocks into - a simple change, but one that goes surprisingly far towards making the game more enjoyable. It's a lot comfier with its presentation too, and there's even some surprisingly great music in there. Not much more to it than that, but it's still filled to the brim with a huge amount of puzzles, including bonus special Amiibo unlocks (there is a homebrew program to bypass this), and that's all I can ask of it once again. I'd hope for a third round, but I don't know that I'd like it as much without stylus controls... [4.5★]

21) The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog (PC, 2023)

Sonic coming out of nowhere on April Fool's with a shockingly high-effort "joke" project was unexpected, but that blue hedgehog does have a way of blindsiding you. The game is a small but lovingly made point-and-click revolving around a murder mystery party with a few fun twists happening towards the end, and it's pretty funny for the most part, so that's the "joke" part down. On top of that, it has a really solid grasp of the characters and how to write them, seemingly on par with the IDW comics, which is more than we've seen from most of the games until fairly recently. It's something of a breath of fresh air, with plenty of fanservice, and my only real complaint is the "THINK!" segments being kind of... not very good. But as a whole, this game is really nice, and I hope they do more creative projects like this in the future. They even got the "self-insert" protagonist right, because they're such a weird and silly one. They should murder Sonic more often! [4★]

22-23) Escaped Chasm/Dweller's Empty Path (PC, 2019/2020)

I'd like to group these together, because they're kind of part of the same interesting project from Temmie Chang (yes, the Undertale Temmie). Both very short RPG Maker games with zero combat and a focus on exploring all the dialogue and plot you can get out of them. Both games have their dark elements, but Escaped Chasm definitely has the most - it's got some upsetting bits, and the ending is rather bittersweet, but I did enjoy the short tale of the lonely girl. It kind of serves as a prequel to Dweller's Empty Path, though you won't know it until you see a certain part. Speaking of which, that game is pretty nice, mostly just being a walking simulator that you can end at any time by going to bed, but there is quite a bit of dialogue for you to see that fleshes out the world and characters, with hints at what might be to come in the future. Both games adopt a Game Boy style pixel art look with minimal colour palettes and I kind of like that about them, and the developer managed to rope in Toby Fox and Camellia for musical contributions, which is awesome. Overall, the games feel like they're setting up something rather interesting, also being rather interesting in themselves, and I hope Temmie is able to do more with this in the future. [3.5★]

24) OFF (PC, 2008)

Another certified RPG Maker classic that has somehow never been re-released in any form, unless you count the official English translation from 2011, and it's certainly an odd one. The vibes are deeply unsettling throughout, the morality of the protagonist is dubious at best, and it has all kinds of strange setpieces showcasing the utterly bizarre lore of its equally bizarre world. It's kind of hard to tell what it's even really about, but it contains themes relating to religion, illness, capitalism and more besides. There are even multiple endings, including a random joke one serving as a "reward" for beating a strange and lengthy secret boss, and honestly I think the game is more of a weird French art piece than anything else. The puzzles and battle system do kind of suck in several areas, so it's all about the feeling of the game in the end, and it certainly made me feel... something. I don't think anyone completely understands this game, but I do like what it tries to do, and I respect it. [3.5★]

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[baepsaesbae]

Babysitters Club

Pairing— Kim Taehyung x reader    

Genre— SMUT, fluff, babysitting au, strangers to lovers au

Warnings— Dom!Taehyung, roleplaying, face fucking, oral sex (m and f), bondage, explicit rough unprotected sex please stay safe irl, squirting, choking, hickies, a surprise cameo from Spring Will Come Again!Jungkook because I have no self control

Word Count— ~7.6k  

Summary— A generic summer job hunt leads you to babysit rowdy (but still cute) kids alongside the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. What shenanigans will you get into with Taehyung by your side?

A/N— HUGE shoutout to the lovely @kimtaehyunq​​ for making this beautiful banner for me! This was literally the Taehyung I had in mind while writing this uwu. This fic is the epitome of self indulgence but I truly hope you guys like it too! Please let me know what you think! My askbox/inbox is always open, don’t be afraid to come chat with me. Love you all, hope you guys are safe <3

Crumpled up newspapers littered the floor as another ball was apathetically tossed aside. A sigh of defeat escaped your lips as you looked up at the ceiling in desperation.

“Still at it with the job hunt, huh?” your roommate, Hyuna, said when she saw your mess, “I told you to search online. Or try to get a job at a cafe or a boba shop or something.”

“Easy jobs online seem sketchy, and I told you I don’t want to work in the food industry ever again,” you groaned.

“But you’d rather...be a babysitter?” she questioned as she held up an ad, “Wait you could get paid up to $15 an hour? That’s pretty good.”

“I didn’t see that one. Is it an agency or something?”

“Not sure, take a look,” she handed you the paper.

“Oh, it seems like it’s a daycare run out of someone’s house. They’re looking for multiple applicants. You wanna do it with me?! I think it could be fun!” you ask excitedly.

“And spend most of my summer vacation with a bunch of snot nosed brats? I don’t think so. You have fun though!” she blew you a kiss as she walked away.

You whipped your phone out and immediately called the number in the ad. This job was the only one that seemed bearable, and you thought kids were cute for the most part. You’ve had a few babysitting gigs in the past so this shouldn’t be too bad.

“Hello?” a deep voice answered the call.

“Hi, I saw your ad in the paper! I was wondering if there was still a babysitting position open?” you inquired.

“Oh yes! Yeah there’s still a spot open. Um, can you give me a sec?” the man said quickly as you heard wailing kids in the background. After two minutes or so he returned to the phone.

“I’m terribly sorry about that. You don’t have a criminal background or anything right? Gosh, I’m sure this sounds unprofessional but--”

“Nope, I don’t have any charges or anything like that. Should I call back later?” you offered since it seemed like the man was a little preoccupied.

“It’s like this all the time. Why don’t we do a practice run tomorrow? Oh! I mean, whenever you’re available to start. Or technically have an interview? I guess? Hey, don’t put that in your mouth!” the man chastised at someone in the distance.

“I can come in tomorrow!” you said.

“Great! Just use the address in the same ad you got this number from! Oh, and please get here by 9am! See you soon!” the man hung up abruptly.

“That was chaotic…” you said to yourself.

A moment later your phone began to ring. It was from the babysitting guy.

“Hello?” you answered.

“I realized I never got your name! I promise I’m not always this frazzled,” he laughed as rambunctious laughter erupted behind him.

“Oh, I’m ______,” you gave him your first and last name.

“Cool. See you tomorrow Miss ____!” he said before hanging up again.

You were actually excited to babysit. It had been a while since you had done it, and playing with kids was usually fun. Then again, you’ve never had a bad experience with babysitting before. You prayed that this gig would continue the positive trend.

Donning shorts and a simple Mickey Mouse t-shirt, (you figured some kid was bound to like the mousey character) it was time to head off to your potential workplace. The babysitting place was actually fairly close to you, only about a 10 minute drive. It was 8:55am by the time you arrived. A couple of parents walked past your car to drop off their kids. All of the kids seemed to be pretty excited to enter the house, which was definitely a good sign.

You gently knocked on the door at exactly 9am. There was no response as you awkwardly waited for about a minute or so. All you could hear was shrill laughter and thumps that you presumed was the kids running about. You realized there was a doorbell, and sighed at your foolishness.

The door opened seconds after you rang the doorbell. A tall man with dark hair greeted you with a warm smile. You were taken aback by the handsome guy, suddenly questioning whether you were at the right place or not until a child popped up from behind his shoulder and yelled out a loud “Boo!” that caused you to jump.

“Ah, sorry about that! This one is always trying to play pranks,” the man laughed as he playfully jostled the child that was latched onto his back, “You must be ______?”

“That’s me!” you say with a little too much enthusiasm.

“Cool. C’mon in, I’ll introduce you to the kids,” the man led you inside.

The living room was littered with toys, from cars to building blocks to barbies. This place was definitely a kid’s happy place. Four little kids were playing with various things when you walked in. All of the kids there seemed to be between the ages of 4 to 6. At a glance, it seemed like they were all playing house. It took you a few seconds to realize that one of the kids was actually playing by herself; she was just physically close to the other kids.

“Everyone! This is our newest helper! Her name is Miss ____. Let’s all play nicely with her okay?” the man announced.

The kids playing house immediately stopped what they were doing and rushed to you. Two boys began asking you questions in a rapid fire succession, while the little girl merely clung to your leg.

“Those two are Kota and Bel,” the man pointed to the two boys, “The little girl stuck to you like glue is Ava, and the one playing over there is Lucy,” he continued to name each child.

“AND I’M SAM!!” the last boy exclaimed over the man’s shoulder.

“Yes, this troublemaker here is Sam. That’s basically the whole gang! We could get a few more additions as the summer goes on, but these guys are the OG crew. They’re all really sweet kids, once you get to know them. Any questions so far?” your employer asked.

“I don’t think I ever caught your name, sir,” you say politely.

“Oh! No need to call me sir. I think we’re probably around the same age? Not that I’m assuming your age or anything but--”

“He’s my horsey!” Sam interrupted.

“No, he’s the chef!” Kota yelled.

“No, he’s our dad who’s not our dad,” Lucy chimed in.

“My mom told me he was a babysitter?” Bel added, now visibly confused.

“I am all of those things,” the man reassured the children, “But my name is Taehyung. The kids call me Tae or Mr. insert whatever title I have in the game we are playing on that day. Pleasure to meet ya,” Tae extends a hand out to you, “Let’s see how your first day goes.”

The first few hours consisted of a rather intricate game of pretend set up in a fantasy world. You played a princess who was captured by an evil dragon, who was played by Taehyung (you couldn’t help but think about how you wouldn’t mind being his hostage).

The boys were valiant knights on their quest to rescue you. The girls played different creatures that aided the knights as fairies or unicorns or any other things they wanted to be. Most of the game consisted of you and Taehyung sitting together in a corner of the living room. Even though you didn’t have to do anything, it was fun watching the kids play. Their imagination amused you.

“Enjoying yourself, princess?” Taehyung asked as he also watched the children run around.

His deep voice sent chills down your spine. Something about the way the word “princess” rolled off his tongue was so enchanting. You cleared your throat before answering.

“This job has been pretty fun so far, Mr. Evil Dragon,” you smile.

“Hey! I’m not evil, just misunderstood,” he protested.

“Oh no! The dragon is about to eat the princess!” one of the boys cried out.

“What? No, I’m not going to eat her,” Taehyung said defensively.

“You need to pretend to eat the princess so that the knights save her,” Lucy, the quiet one, scuttled over to whisper to the both of you before hurrying back to her spot.

Taehyung turned towards you to appease the kids as they held their breath in anticipation.

“Rawr! I’m going to eat you!” he said in a deep voice.

“Oh no! Somebody save me!” you cried out, playing along.

A few moments passed but none of the kids moved. You both turned your heads towards them in confusion. They stared back at you blankly.

“You need to bite her!” Sam demanded.

“What?” you and Tae said in unison.

“Bite her! Bite her! Bite her!” the boys started to chant.

“But not too hard!” Ava expressed her worry for you, making you smile.

“I…uh…” Taehyung was at a loss for words.

“They’re not gonna stop, are they?” you whispered to him.

He nodded with a sigh as their chanting got louder. You offered him your arm. Kids can be crazy stubborn over silly things. Besides, you’ve done worse for less (college is crazy).

Taehyung shot you an “are you sure about this?” look, to which you just nodded. Once he got the okay, Taehyung grabbed your arm and pulled you harshly, causing your face to be a mere inches away from his.

“Fools! You think you can save the princess? I will devour her before your very eyes!” Taehyung declared with an even deeper voice. He opened his mouth menacingly, as if to show off his fangs. Then, he proceeded to bite your bicep. To be honest, he was being so forceful that you thought he was going to bite you for real, causing you to involuntarily close your eyes.

Instead, he gingerly placed his teeth on your skin so lightly that you could barely feel anything. You opened your eyes to see Taehyung grinning at you with your arm in his mouth.

“Aaaaggghhh GET HIM!!” Sam yelled, leading the other boys straight into Taehyung.

Taehyung quickly let go of you before he rolled out onto the floor. The boys began to pummel Taehyung with their foam swords and pretend bows and arrows. The girls came to your aid to help you escape during the battle.

The little boys triumphantly stood over their defeated babysitter who pretended to be passed out on the floor. You applauded their victory as the girls sat by your side.

“Okay! Good game, it’s almost lunchtime,” Taehyung announced as he quickly popped back up.

“Chef Tae makes the best mac and cheese!” Ava informed you excitedly.

“I wanted dino nuggies!” Sam puffed out his cheeks in disappointment.

“Sam, you know it’s Ava’s day to pick out lunch. It’ll be your turn tomorrow okay? I promise! You guys can stay here and play with Miss ____ till food is ready,” Tae called out as he walked to the kitchen. Lucy silently followed Tae.

“Lucy likes to help out in the kitchen a lot. She sets the table,” Ava explained when she saw you watching Lucy.

“You’re good at being a princess!” Kota butted in as he ran to hug your leg.

“I like your shirt! I like Mickey Mouse too. I saw him in DisneyWorld last year,” Bel said as he clung to your other leg.

The kids took turns holding onto your legs as you tried to walk around. Apparently the thought of making you tumble over was an exciting one, and that kept the kids busy until Taehyung called for everyone.

Five little bowls of mac and cheese were set up on the dining table. The kids took their seats as Taehyung handed out juice boxes. He positioned himself by your side as the little ones began to chow down.

“I normally just eat the rest out of the pot, but since you’re here I can get you a bowl. Sorry about biting you earlier, the kids really like it when I get serious about my roles,” Taehyung chuckled as he scooped out your portion.

“It’s no problem, you’re a great actor. Thank you,” you say politely as he handed you a bowl.

Lunch was spent making small talk with Taehyung. He was a newly graduated college student trying to make extra money before starting a real job hunt.Taehyung had been running this makeshift daycare since he was a senior in highschool.

“Summers are always fun with them,” Taehyung said while smiling fondly at the kids, “How has it been so far?” he asked.

“I’ve been having a good time. The kids are all really sweet! They have so much energy,” you answer.

“They do indeed, which is why playtime is so important in the morning! It makes what comes next easier,” he winked at you before collecting the empty bowls, “Okay kiddos! Who’s ready for nap time?”

Lucy quietly raised her hand while the boys groaned. You figured it would be hard to get those active boys to settle down, let alone to take a nap. You helped Taehyung set up blankets and pillows in the game room. The kids made a beeline to their designated blankets without a fuss.

“Do you sing, Miss _____?” Taehyung asked out of the blue.

“Um, not really?” you say hesitantly.

“Ah, I see. No worries. Everybody ready?” he said.

“Yes!” all the kids replied.

“Alrighty. Do you have any song requests, Miss ____?”

You thought about which songs would make for a decent lullaby, “Do you know Adore You by Harry Styles?”

“I’ll have to look up the lyrics but yeah I like that song! I like his whole album actually,” Taehyung nodded as he pulled out his phone and took a deep breath, “Walk in your rainbow paradise~”

You were shocked by his vocal talent. His voice control was superb and the quality of his voice was downright euphoric. Even though Taehyung’s voice is deeper than Harry Styles’, his range was incredible. He was still able to go as high as Harry without any trouble. All the kids had fallen sound asleep by the time he finished the song.

“This is when I typically have about an hour of free time,” he said after quietly leading you back into the kitchen.

“You have such a beautiful voice! Do you sing to them every day?” you praised him.

“Thanks! Yeah, I sing to them every day. They used to get duets actually,” Taehyung sighed.

“Did you have another coworker before?” you asked.

“Yep. My best friend actually. He’s my roommate too, but he landed an internship this summer so he couldn’t be here. I’m very proud of him! But usually this is a job for two people so I decided to put that ad out. I’m happy you came out! The kids seem to like you,” Taehyung gave you a thumbs up.

“I hope so! Lucy might be scared of me though,” you recalled the way she mostly avoided you all morning.

“Nah, she’s just really shy. She told me that she thought you were really pretty though, so that’s a good sign!” he tried to reassure you.

“I guess it must be true then. Kids are brutally honest,” you smiled.

“She definitely wasn’t lying,” Taehyung smiled back at you.

You had to look away awkwardly to hide your blushed cheeks. There’s no way you could handle a direct smile from this guy. How was it possible for someone to be that handsome without even trying?!

“So what happens after naptime?” you quickly asked to change the subject.

“Basically more playing until their parents come. It honestly just depends on what the kids wanna do. We can play inside, in the backyard, and sometimes we go to the park,” Taehyung answered with an amused smile, “Let’s use this free time to conduct a more formal interview, shall we?”

Taehyung then asked you a series of questions about your summer schedule, if you’re willing to work every day of the week, how you feel about the kids, along with other things. You answered truthfully and kept up a professional demeanor. Taehyung seemed to be satisfied with your answers and leaned back in his chair.

“That all works for me! The people who really need to approve of you are the parents. I’ll introduce you to them later this afternoon. I’m sure they’ll all be fine once I vouch for you,” he nodded.

Soft giggles caught your attention. Taehyung signaled that break time was now over and led the way back to the living room. Kota and Bel were wrestling each other while the others threw pillows at them.  

“Did everyone have a good nap?” Taehyung sing songed.

“Yes!” they replied.

“Can we play house now?” Ava asked.

“Yeah! Miss ____ can be the mommy now!” Sam bounced up in excitement, “Our last mommy used to be a boy.”

“Jimin was a great mommy and I’m sure he misses you all dearly. Jimin is my roommate/best friend/ex-cobabysitter,” Taehyung explained.

The game of house was more hands on from your end. The kids demanded you to carry them and read them stories like a real mommy would. It was mainly the girls who wanted to play with you, while the boys took turns wrestling with Tae or riding on his back. You were braiding Lucy’s hair when the doorbell rang.

“Kota! Your mom is here!” Taehyung called from the front.

All the kids trickled out one by one as their parents arrived. Taehyung introduced you to each parent; their reactions were all positive, especially when their kids raved about you being the new Jimin.

“If she’s anything like Jimin, then I have nothing to worry about. I trust your judgement, Taehyung,” one of the sterner looking parents said (Sam’s father to be exact).

“Congrats! You got the job,” Taehyung congratulated you once all of the children were picked up, “We get paid on Fridays. I’ll basically just split what we earn 50/50, cool?”

“That’s fine by me! I’m looking forward to working with you,” you bow graciously.

“Ah! No need to be so formal. We’re partners now! I’m not your boss or anything,” Taehyung gave you a friendly pat on the shoulder, “See you tomorrow!”

Summer was about to get rather eventful. All of the children warmed up to you surprisngly quickly, even timid Lucy (who had arguably grown the most fond of you). As the days went on, you couldn’t help but admire Taehyung’s kindness and patience when it came to the kids. From firm to understanding, he was everything a caregiver should be. He handled spats between kids with ease, often by making them forgive each other then laugh at some silly joke of his.

One afternoon, the kids voted to watch a Disney movie. All seven of you curled up on the couch together with you and Taehyung in the middle. Lucy sat in your lap while Bel sat in Taehyung’s. Halfway through the movie, Taehyung fell asleep. The kids didn’t notice since they were so engrossed in the movie. You however, DID notice. Mostly because he rolled his sleepy head onto your shoulder.

Your heartbeat quickened as you slowly turned to take a peek at the handsome man sleeping beside you. He looked angelic, and you realized that he smelled pleasant too. He had a sweet scent that was uncharacteristic for a young man. You took a deep breath and pretended not to notice him. He didn’t wake up until the doorbell rang near the end of the movie.

He seemed to be confused and perhaps even slightly flustered when he lifted his head from your shoulder, but quickly shrugged it off to go answer the door. The incident (and the drool on your shoulder) was never mentioned.

It had been a month since you started babysitting with Taehyung, and it honestly had been a lot more fun than you expected. The kids are wonderful silly little beings and Taehyung is...well...Taehyung.

You were cleaning up the living room on a late Friday afternoon after all the kids had been picked up. Taehyung was somewhere splitting up the week’s paycheck. Once all the toys were back in their respective bins, it was time to gather your stuff and go.

“Great work this week,” Taehyung commended as he handed you your cut.

“Thanks! Same to you as always. I’ll see you on Monday,” you wave as you open the front door.

“Actually um--” Taehyung cleared his throat.

“Yes?” you whipped around with almost too much eagerness.

“My friend is part of an art gallery showing tomorrow night and I was wondering if you’d like to go with me? I heard there will be drinks and finger foods…” Taehyung trailed off, presumably due to imagining what kind of snacks will be served.

“I’d love to! I’m not an expert on art or anything, but it sounds cool,” you smile.

“No worries, I’m no expert either. I’m just a guy who appreciates neat expressions of creativity,” he nodded humbly, “I can pick you up at your place, if you’d like.”

“Sure, I’ll text you my address. Oh uh, what’s the dress code like? I don’t really attend these things,” you ask shyly.

“I’d say a step down from formal? Like no t-shirts or jeans. Pretend like you’re going on a date to some restaurant that isn’t a michelin star but is still classier than Olive Garden,” Taehyung tried to explain.

“I’ll do my best,” you smile at his peculiar way of describing the appropriate attire.

A smile never left your face as you drove home. A chance to hangout with Taehyung one on one without any kids around? All of his attention will be on you? Yes please. You love the kids and all, but you finally have a real chance to get closer to Taehyung. To be honest, you might have the teensiest little crush on him, but who could blame you?

The next day was spent preparing for your night out with Taehyung. It probably wasn’t a date (90% sure it’s not), but you wanted to look irresistible anyway. You put on a purple dress with flowy sleeves that made you feel like a princess. It was on the dressier side, but being slightly overdressed never hurt anyone.

You usually only had time to slap on mascara and a lip tint in the mornings before babysitting, but now you had abundant time to play around with your makeup. You settled for a soft yet glamorous look with shimmery eyeshadow and eyeliner. Sparkly lip gloss tied the whole look together and made your lips look tempting (or so you hoped). You decided to leave your hair alone since you were having a miraculously good hair day.

“Wow are you sure this isn’t a date?” Hyuna whistled when she walked into your room.

“It’s not! This is just the first time Taehyung will see me actually trying to look good,” you say defensively.

“You’re cute even in ratty t-shirts, but I get what you mean. Have fun tonight!” your roommate gave you a tight hug.

A strong knock on your front door indicated Taehyung’s arrival. Hyuna tagged along as you went to answer the door; she wanted to see the guy you’ve been gushing over for the past month for herself.

Your mouth hung open in shock for a split second when you opened the door. Taehyung also dressed up. He was wearing a bright sunflower shirt paired with a black blazer that perfectly combined fun with sophistication. He wore a red silky bandana looking belt for an added pop of color with his black pants.

“Hey Taehyung!” you greet him happily.

“Good evening, Miss ____. You look spectacular!” he complimented you immediately.

“So do you! It’s funny seeing you not in a t-shirt, though I’m sure you’re thinking the same thing,” you say.

“You’re charming even in your graphic tees, but this is a nice change of pace too,” Taehyung agreed.

“Hi! I’m Hyuna, ____’s roommate,” Hyuna butted in to shake his hand.

“Hi, I’m Taehyung, ____’s babysitting partner,” he introduced himself.

“We should get going,” you say politely before Hyuna could start to get chatty.

Hyuna mouthed an exaggerated “oh my god” coupled with a double thumbs up as you waved goodbye after Taehyung was already out the door. You playfully rolled your eyes but blew her a kiss anyway.

“I didn’t realize you lived so close to me,” Taehyung said as he pulled away from the curb.

“Yeah, it made the job even more appealing,” you nodded.

“I really am glad that you applied,” Taehyung said softly, as if to himself.

“Sorry, what was that?” you couldn’t hear him properly.

“Nothing! I said I’m glad you agreed to accompany me tonight!” Taehyung quickly stated.

“Thanks for inviting me out! I’m actually pretty excited,” you admitted.

The gallery was somewhere in the swanky part of downtown. You gazed out of the window at all of the high end stores Taehyung drove by. Everyone walking around the stores looked like supermodels, which was actually pretty intimidating. What if the people at the gallery looked like that too?

“We’re here!” Taehyung announced, interrupting your thoughts.

There was a decent amount of people wandering around the venue when you both entered. It was basically one big dimly lit room with spotlights on pieces scattered around on the walls plus some sculptures in the middle. Thankfully, the patrons already inside looked like normal people, most of them probably students like you.

“Taehyung!” someone called from the side of the room.

You both made your way towards the voice, only to find a man who was just as handsome as Taehyung greeting you with a bunny like smile. He had long hair that almost covered up his assorted dangly earrings. He definitely had art student vibes mixed with a dash of bad boy. The boys greeted each other with a ferocious hug, indicating that they’re probably good friends.

“Oh! What’s up, I’m Jungkook,” the boy shook your hand once he noticed you.

“She’s my babysitting partner this summer,” Taehyung said proudly.

“She’s replacing Jimin huh?” Jungkook laughed, “Taehyung and Jimin are like my brothers. We were all pretty close in college and are batchmates, even though I’m younger than them,” he stuck his tongue out at Taehyung.

“Yeah yeah okay whatever. Skipping grades in elementary school and bringing in a ton of transfer credits will help you do that I guess,” Taehyung shook his head even though he was still smiling.

“Are these your pictures?” you asked Jungkook, motioning to the mounted pictures behind him.

“Yeah! I took most of these in Madrid, I’ve been working abroad for my dream company,” Jungkook answered you proudly.

“Who’s this?” Taehyung pointed to a picture of a girl laughing by a giant tree.

“Yeah, she’s gorgeous!” you added.

“She’s um...a good friend. She was the perfect model,” Jungook said with a faraway look in his eyes that told you there was more to the story.

“Tell me more about her on our next phone call. Tonight is for celebrating you!” Taehyung picked up on Jungkook’s sudden change of tone.

You enjoyed listening to their old college stories as the boys reminisced about their past together. Jungkook relished telling you all of Taehyung’s embarrassing moments at various parties. Taehyung returned the favor by recalling Jungkook’s past run-ins with women. Despite his natural charm and god like looks, apparently Jungkook gets really nervous around girls.

You and Taehyung were on your own once Jungkook was flagged down by an older patron interested in purchasing some of his work. Taehyung stayed close to your side as you explored the rest of the gallery. Each artist was so incredibly talented as their pictures told  stories with just a single frame.

“____ look! They have those fancy charcuterie boards!” Taehyung grabbed your hand and excitedly dragged you over to the snack table. You couldn’t help but smile at his childlike elation.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’ve been getting tired of being force fed fruit snacks every day,” you laughed as you ate the assorted appetizers.

“I completely understand. Unfortunately, the kids are too sweet when they want to share. I don’t have it in me to turn them down,” Taehyung agreed.

Once the food was eaten, you resumed walking through the gallery. It was fun making up stories to go with each picture. Taehyung seemed to gravitate towards adding a romantic twist to each story, while you opted for a bit of mystery. At the end of the event, Taehyung met up with Jungkook once more to say his goodbyes.

“Thanks again for coming with me, I had fun! I hope you enjoyed yourself,” Taehyung said as he drove you back.

“It was really neat! I liked hanging out with you outside of work,” you nodded.

“Would you say it was a successful date then?” Taehyung raised an eyebrow with curiosity. Your heart skipped a beat as your eyes widened with surprise.

“Was...was this a date?” you asked quietly.

“Did you want it to be?” Taehyung teased.

“I wouldn’t have gotten so dressed up otherwise,” you said defensively, taken aback by his sudden cheekiness.

“I realized I should’ve clarified that after you had already left. My bad,” Taehyung shot you a boxy grin, “But then I figured maybe you would be more relaxed if I didn’t mention it.”

“That’s odd logic, but I guess it worked,” you admitted begrudgingly.

Taehyung walked you back up to your house. He sweetly kissed your cheek and bid you goodnight, leaving you frozen in place.

“S-see you on Monday!” was all you were able to stammer out, to which Taehyung just smiled and waved back.

Hyuna happily freaked out with you once you were back inside. She was watching you from the moment Taehyung pulled back up. She shrieked with excitement once you told her that Taehyung confirmed that it was a date. Hyuna didn’t let up with grilling questions about how your night went. She even asked if the Jungkook guy you met was single, to which you truthfully answered that you didn’t know.

“Besides, he told me himself that he’s scared of girls. You’re scary enough as is,” you teased her.

“Oh shut up. So is Taehyung like, your boyfriend now?” Hyuna asked the million dollar question.

“I don’t think so. I think it was just a date, but that’s a good start!” you declared optimistically.

Babysitting on Monday went on like normal. Taehyung didn’t act any differently, which was both concerning and relieving. You were in the backyard pretending to eat whatever dirt concoction the little kids were serving you.

“This one is for you,” Lucy quietly offered Taehyung a clump of dirt sprinkled with blades of grass, topped with a dandelion.

“Oh, how pretty! What is it?” Taehyung played along.

“It’s a love potion. The next person you hug will fall in love with you,” Lucy smiled.

A smirk crept on Taehyung’s face as he pretended to eat Lucy’s love potion. He made a satisfied “Ahh” sound that made Lucy giggle.

“Tae has to hug me now! He loves me the most!” Sam yelled as he ran over to latch onto Taehyung.

“No, Tae loves me!” Bel argued as he pulled on Taehyung’s shirt.

“That’s not how it works!” Lucy huffed as she yelled at the boys.

You watched with delight as the little kids chased Taehyung around the backyard, demanding that he has to hug them. It was easy for him to juke them out as they constantly ran back and forth. You were content with just watching them until Taehyung began to make a beeline for you.

“Oh no no no,” you cried as you got up to run.

Taehyung (and the kids) chased you around for a little bit. The backyard was on the smaller side, so there wasn’t much space to evade all of them coming for you at once. To make matters worse, Taehyung actually started to try and catch you. His speed was no joke; he was much more agile than you gave him credit for.

With one pounce, Taehyung tackled you to the ground. Somehow he managed to whip himself around while you were falling, so you ended up falling on him. Now wrapped up in his arms, Taehyung smiled up at you with a shit eating grin.

“I guess you have to fall in love with me now,” he smirked.

“You wish,” you laughed as you pulled yourself up.

“Aw now he loves Miss _____,” Sam pouted.

“No, now Miss ____ has to fall in love with Tae,” Ava corrected him.

“That’s dumb,” Kota shook his head.

“Tae! Kota said a bad word!” Bel immediately tattled.

“Kota, remember what I said about bad words. No one wants to play with someone who says mean things,” Taehyung chided him.

“Sorry,” Kota mumbled.

“Let’s play go play inside. Who wants juice?” Taehyung patted Kota’s head.

The kids followed Taehyung inside like little ducklings. You loved that sight, you always thought it was the cutest thing. The rest of the day went by without a hitch.

The topic of favorite movies came up during lunchtime the next day.

“I like Frozen 2,” Ava stated, and Lucy nodded furiously in agreement.

“Detective Pikachu was better. Pikachu is funny,” Sam interjected. The other little boys then began to argue about which pokemon was better/stronger.

“I’m not really a big movie watcher,” Taehyung confessed as he took a bite of a dino chicken nugget.

“Have you at least seen the classics? Harry Potter? Lord of the Rings? Star Wars?” you listed with concern.

“I’ve seen Harry Potter and Star Wars. I think I saw the Lord of the Rings? I can’t really remember. I know I wanted to watch the newer Lord of the Rings movies,” he chuckled at your growing disbelief.

“Newer Lord of the Rings? You mean the Hobbit series?” you were disgruntled.

“Yeah those. I didn’t realize you were a nerd,” he nudged you.

“What of it? All of those are great movies. I have copies of the Hobbit series if you ever wanted to watch them,” you offered.

“Do you wanna watch them with me?” he perked up.

“Sure, I love them! You wanna do a marathon? It’ll take up a full day though,” you warned.

“I’m down. Are you free this Sunday?”

“I believe so.”

“Great! I’m excited to see you geek out over hobbits. Okay kids, naptime!”

You drove up to Taehyung’s place Sunday morning, you weren’t kidding when you said it would take all day. Taehyung said to dress comfortably so you showed up in your sweatpants and oversized college tee. He answered the door wearing gray sweatpants and his favorite CELINE shirt. His dark fluffy hair fell over his forehead and was almost long enough to cover his eyes.

“Good morning! I hope you’re hungry. I made some waffles to eat while we watch the first movie,” he greeted you.

His humble abode smelled heavenly as the scent of dough tinged with a hint of cinnamon wafted through the air. The soft belgian waffles were delicious as they practically melted in your mouth. Taehyung asked a ton of questions with nearly every scene, but you didn’t mind. You were happy to flex your knowledge of Tolkien lore.

Hours later, you found yourself cuddled up with Taehyung as the final credits of the Battle of Five Armies began to roll. Taehyung was still trying to process everything that happened as he asked you clarifying questions about each character.

“Well crap, now I’m sad,” he pouted.

“Yeah, the ending is kind of a downer, but that’s what makes it so good! The Lord of the Rings has a happy ending if that makes you feel better,” you look up at him from his chest.

“You look cute like that,” he observed.

“Like what? Tiny from your angle?” you tilted your head.

“I guess so? Tiny, maybe submissive,” Taehyung’s voice lowered with his suggestion.

“Submissive? Is that how you see me?” you sit back up completely with defiance.

“Not at all. You’re pretty feisty, which is why making you be submissive is even more alluring,” he raised his eyebrow in a suggestive manner.

“Do you want me to be a damsel in distress for you? Not happening,” you smirked.

“Pretty princesses are good for one thing,” Taehyung hopped off the couch.

Before you could say anything, he promptly grabbed you and swung you over his shoulder. You were too shocked by his boldness and physical abilities to retaliate.

“They’re perfect for kidnapping!” he let out a dramatic evil laugh as he carried you off to his bedroom.

Once there, he roughly threw you on the bed. You couldn’t help but look around curiously since this was the first time you’ve ever seen his room. It was surprisingly neat; his bed was made and there were no messy clothing piles in sight.

“Are you an evil dragon then? Capturing princesses and such?” you teased.

“Evil dragon, dashing captor, I can be anything you want me to be. Just please not an orc,” he let out a chuckle before getting back into character, “Just know that you’re trapped here with me. No one is going to rescue you.”

“Oh no! What a terrible situation to be in! What on Earth is this extremely handsome dragon going to do with a poor defenseless princess like me?” you taunted.

“Ok this is all very hot but before we go any further, are you okay with this?” Taehyung asked sincerely.

“I can’t think of anything that I’ve wanted more,” you nodded.

“Perfect. Safe word is red,” he winked at you, “Now strip for me, princess.”

“And if I don’t?” you challenged.

Taehyung grabbed a fistful of hair on the back of your head and forcefully brought you up to his face, “I suggest not making me angry,” he sneered.

You didn’t think you were one for being manhandled, but god damn that was hot. There was already a tingle between your legs and he hadn’t even really touched you yet. You complied with his request, and quickly tore off your shirt and pants. Though you weren’t wearing any fancy lingerie, you were wearing a gray bra and gray panties that could pass off as matching.

“Mmm what a pretty treasure. It would be a shame to let it gounappreciated,” Taehyung stretched out that last word as he gently ran his fingers from your torso up to your neck before firmly grasping it.

Taehyung straddled you as his long fingers were wrapped around your neck. Slowly, he leaned down to kiss you. Though apprehensive at first, he gradually got more bold with it. His tongue dipped into your mouth the instant your lips parted. His other hand crept under your bra to fondle your breast.

“You take your clothes off too,” you said as soon as the kiss broke.

“You don’t get to make any demands, silly princess,” Taehyung shook his head.

You pouted and reached out to tug at his pants anyway. Big mistake. Taehyung slapped your hand away and slammed you back onto the bed.

“You don’t listen, huh? I’ll have to do something about that. Stay still or else you’ll make things worse for yourself,” he ordered.

You reluctantly obeyed, partly because you were curious about what he was going to do, and partly because you were actually intimidated by him. He returned back to the bed a few seconds later, but with a familiar silky red belt in hand.

“Give me your hands. Good girl,” he smiled deviously as he bound them together, “Remember the safe word is red, okay?” he gently reminded you.

He looked down at you with a satisfied grin as he began to take off his sweatpants. He had an obvious bulge in his underwear that outlined his massive dick. You were further entranced by his physique when he took off his shirt. He wasn’t ripped, but he was still fit, as you could plainly see when his chest was finally revealed.

“Open wide, princess,” he demanded.

You opened your mouth, and even flattened your tongue out a little bit for him. He pulled his cock out of his underwear, finally exposing his full length. You doubted you could fit even half of him in your mouth, but at this point it wasn’t up to you.

Taehyung lowered himself down to you, and teasingly tapped the tip of his cock on your tongue. He slowly eased himself into your mouth, forcing you to open your mouth even wider to account for his girth. He made his way back out once you gagged. He grabbed your head to hold you steady as he fucked your mouth once more. He got closer and closer to the back of your throat until he finally hit it. All you could focus on was breathing as tears welled up in your eyes. Taehyung thrusted a couple more times before he pulled out completely.

“Good girl indeed. Well done, princess,” he softly stroked your chin before wiping your tears away. All you could do was smile meekly back at him.

“Don’t worry, it’s time for your reward,” Taehyung smiled down at you as his hand slipped under your panties, “Oh you’re so wet. I can’t wait to taste you.”

He positioned himself between your thighs after he tore off your panties. His thumb fiddled with your clit, causing you to squirm. He placed a strong grip on your thigh to hold you down as he circled your clit faster. Your helpless whimpers were music to Taehyung’s ears.

Without warning, he easily stuck two fingers into you. He didn’t even let you adjust as he rapidly fingered you, his fingers curving to graze your g-spot with every stroke. His tongue swirled around your clit, adding even more toe curling sensations.

Him adding a third finger was the catalyst for the strongest orgasm you’ve ever had in your life. There wasn’t even a build up, everything just hit you at once. Suddenly you were crying out even louder as you violently came. Did it occur to you that you were squirting all over Taehyung and his bed? No. Were you doing exactly that? Absolutely.

“Delicious,” Taehyung said as he licked his lips, “Look at the fucking mess you made.”

“I-i’m sorry,” you managed to stutter, you were still recovering from your orgasm.

“It’s only fair that it’s my turn to make a mess now. Do I need to get a condom, princess?” he cooed.

You weakly shook your head. You needed to feel all of him, right now. Taehyung chuckled at your neediness as he aligned himself with your pussy. He slowly inserted his entire length into you until the base of his cock touched your soaked pussy. You moaned together as he stayed still for a second. You looked up to see Taehyung’s face lit up with pure bliss.

“You’re still so fucking wet,” he growled as he began to mercilessly buck his hips into you.

You moaned with every thrust as Taehyung shook the entire bed. Taehyung placed both of your legs on his shoulders, allowing him to hit you even deeper from this new angle. He leaned over to plant his lips on your neck as he fucked you. What started as a gentle peck took a violent turn as he harshly sucked on your neck. He left dark spots wherever his lips touched, and soon you were covered in dark blooms.

“Do you want me to soil your back or your chest?” he asked in a guttural tone.

“Back?” you answer dubiously.

You were immediately flipped over. You were laying flat on your chest waiting for him to prop up your ass, but he never did. Instead, he simply spread your legs wider and fucked you flat against the bed. Taehyung grabbed your ass and spread your cheeks to get a better view of your sopping pussy. You could feel another orgasm brewing as he fucked even deeper into you, and his cock was continuously dragging against your g-spot.

“Taehyung, I--”

“I know, princess. Let it all out. I want to feel you come on my dick,” he demanded.

A few more strong strokes was all it took for you to go limp under him as your orgasm took over. Seconds after you hit your high, Taehyung pulled out and came all over your back.

Once you were all cleaned up, Taehyung untied you and kissed your forehead.

“How was it, princess?” he asked as he stroked your hair.

“I’ve never been fucked by a beast before, but now I don’t want anything else,” you admitted before kissing his neck.

“Good. I was worried about going overboard. As I told you before, I really like getting into character,” he laughed.

“I’ve never been into roleplay but I’m willing to change for you. Oh shit, it’s late already,” you noticed the time on his alarm clock.

“Just stay the night. I don’t think the kids will care if you’re wearing sweatpants or not. I can lend you a turtleneck to cover up those hickies though,” Taehyung yawned.

“Are you sure?” you questioned.

“Yeah, I don’t mind. Be warned, I’m a cuddler,” he pulled you closer to him.

“I guess I can sleep in a little later then,” you reasoned.

“Perfect. Goodnight, princess,” he quickly kissed your lips.

“You’re sleeping like that?”

“Like what?”

“Butt naked?”

“I can put clothes on if it makes you uncomfortable. I just figured it would make things easier for tomorrow morning,” he said sleepily.

“Tomorrow morning?” that got your attention.

“You’ll see! Be patient, princess. Night night.”

Never in a million years would you have guessed that applying for a babysitting job would result in this, but you weren’t complaining.

Published April 17, 2021. No editing, copying, translating, or reposting allowed. All Rights Reserved © 2021 Baepsaesbae.

[youryanderedaddy]

Love Fuel

Summary: You were Jason’s first love before you broke his heart and rejected him. It’s all your fault that he can’t move on.

Tw: female reader, obsessive behavior, incel behavior, nice guy behavior, self - hatred, threats of non-con, implied non - con, implied masturbation, bullying based on appearance (not reader), deregatory language, kidnapping, misogyny, generalizations, stalking

this is a hot mess but its 1 am and i am tired, ik that incels are bad irl (obviously), but this is fiction and I kinda wanted to explore the dynamic and shit. 

Everyone used to call him JJ or The-Big-Jay back in high school. Well, most of the time his classmates weren’t really calling out to him or even talking to him, the names were whispered behind his back, after he had just passed the hallway, or on bad days - right to his face. The jocks, these dumb motherfuckers, would beat him up, mock him for whatever stupid reasons they had chosen to use as an excuse to torment the smaller and weaker. The popular girls would giggle like brainless bimbos as Kyle or Brad or any other football player stole his glasses or continuously punched him in the guts until he threw up all over the floor. Even the nerds, the kids at the bottom of the school hierarchy, messed with Jason from time to time when they wanted to feel the oh - so desired rush of power they so rarely managed to experience. 

Looking back, Jason could see why his classmates hated him so much - he was everything that society deemed as wrong and unattractive. He was thin, pale, “scrawny” as the others called him, on the shorter side, and on top of that the teen was terribly shy and introverted, never having the guts to stand up to his bullies or even tell someone about the abuse. The male spent most of his free time at home, playing hours upon hours of video games, watching anime and reading books he was simply too young to understand or look critically at. As he grew older, the man began to view the world as it trully was - a dark, miserable place that ate up sore losers like him. Men were primitive and foolish, which somehow managed to soften their faults. Women, on the other hand, were  calculative and manipulative, greedy and sinful. His whole life they had done nothing but reject him when he needed love and support the most. Of course, there were many other reason why the brunette detested the weaker sex. In his eyes women were evil two - faced sluts, showing off their bodies yet acting innocent and hurt once someone finally decided to use them for the only thing they were actually good for.

But you Jason hated the most. You reminded him that no matter how much he hated the outside world, he would always hate himself the most. He had to admit you were pretty, painfully so, with a perfect little body to match your looks and a sweet sugary smile that almost deceived him years ago. As much as the man regretted his weakness, he had fallen right into your trap at the time.

You weren’t the most popular girl, but you had your fair share of friends, all nice and loyal like puppies. You weren’t the smartest either, but unlike the other stupid giggling sluts you always tried to do your best. You were beautiful just like them but you were actually kind to the pathetic bullied kid no one else bothered to acknowledge even existed outside of being a punching bag. You always asked him whether he was alright and often took him to the infirmary when he looked paler and sicker than usual. You talked to him as if he was a normal human being and despite the initial doubt, Jason appreciated it. 

It was the last day of your senior year when the teen finally gained the courage to confess. He was shaking the whole time and by the end of his little speech there were small tears in the corner of his eye. You were the first girl the male cared about, the first one to show him kindness, to offer him friendship without asking for something in return. You were the only one who could make him feel deserving of love, worthy of affection. And then you took it all away in a matter of seconds.

“I am sorry, bud.” You had said that day after giving him a  half - hearted hug and an apologetic smile, that started to seem more and more like a mocking grin the longer the teen started at you. “I already have a boyfriend, but I am really flattered. I am sure that you will find a lovely girl once you start college.” You had added quickly, cheerfully, rubbing the salt all over his wounds, honey dripping from your plump red lips. He had wanted to kiss them, bruise them, bite them until your stupid lying mouth was filled with blood. Obviously you didn’t have a boyfriend or he would have known by now, he stalked your social media religiously after all. Even if you had one, he probably treated you like shit. And how could you even suggest him finding another woman? As if he wanted any of the stupid money - grabbing sluts out there. As if some of them could replace you.

The boy was too furious to form a proper response besides “Fuck you, bitch”. His cheeks turned red and he didn’t realise that the bitter words had escaped his lips before he could stop them, then his legs took him far away from that shithole of a school. He didn’t manage to see your reaction before running away but it didn’t matter anymore. You were just like the others. 

***

That day Jason swore to show you just how small and insignificant you had made him feel. He wanted to see you crumble, cry and beg for forgiveness, desperate for his love but never good enough to get it. The man formed a plan to change himself and come back for you once he had erased each and every trace of his past. The brunette came to terms with his terrible social anxiety and decided that he needed to gain social abilities more than anything. That’s why, as much as he dreamt of working from home as a boring programmer with an even more boring, but flexible working schelude, the male chose to study something that involved a lot more human interactions. The next step was to hit the gym for the first time and get a monthly subscription. It wasn’t hard to see that females nowadays liked brain - dead athletes with defined jawline and cheekbones, toned chests and strong muscled bodies, so if he wanted to impress you, he had to look his best. It wasn’t easy at first - it felt like everyone in the fitness salon had their eyes on his weak frame, laughing and pointing their fingers at his imperfections, but things gradually got better as time went on. The trainings became easier to get through and from time to time they even helped the man forget about his loneliness and nihilism. 

Jason soon returned to his old habbit of spending hours looking through your accounts - Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, he knew all of your usernames, each post, every picture and text. He couldn’t believe how much of a desperate attention whore you had become over the years. The male remembered you in your long brown skirts, cozy sweatshirts and pure-white shirts, all the gray buttons closed to the very top, blushing, laughing, smiling like the adorable Goody-two-shoes you were. Now you were smirking seductively in every photo, overconfident and vibrant, flaunting your tits for every man to see and wearing tight little dresses that barelly covered your ass combined with heels so high and sharp they could be used as a weapon. You were such a stupid slut it was disgusting, and he couldn’t stop himself from jerking off every single time he saw your pretty little face on the screen. He wanted to cum down your throat so badly it was ridiculous, and even after knowing that you had probably already had hundreds of cocks shoved deep inside your pussy, the brunette still wished to see you split open on his, taking his lenght like a good little cocksleeve. 

***

The moment when he could see you again finally came. How many years had passed since graduation - five, ten, fifthteen? It hardly mattered. Jason was successful, at last. The male had his own business that was doing surprisingly well, there were some guys from the gym he could call friends and the best thing, he looked absolutely unrecognizable. There was nothing left of the tiny scrawny kid with quiet voice that everyone stepped over, he was now replaced by a strong capable man, determined to get what was rightfully his and his alone.

It wasn’t hard to find you since the brunette knew everything about you - where your job was, what time you finished, how long it took you to go home and what path you took. You lived alone and worked as a barista in a small local cafe even now that you had finished your studies in your dream faculty. Turns out the princess wasn’t so great and smart after all, having to resort to working a minimal - wage job day and night just to be able to pay her rent. Jason was absolutely delighted though, he loved your stupid dead - end job and your endless struggles to survive in the materialistic world honestly and fairly without selling yourself like a common whore. On one hand the male was happy that you had clung onto your last bit of innocence and on the other your pitiful lifestyle gave him the chance to snatch you away much easier. And that’s exactly what he did.

 ***

You woke up confused just like he had expected, bombarding him with questions, asking him who he was was, begging him to let you go, to at least explain what’s happening. You were so dumb, but God, you were still so pretty, if not prettier than before. You cried so beautifully when Jason told you you belonged to him now and you cried even more when he slammed his cold rough lips over yours in a deep wet kiss. You whimpered and whined while the male sucked on your lower lip and bit down, good, he wanted it to hurt. The stalker couldn’t wait to be inside you, he couldn’t hold back anymore. 

He climbed on top of you and pinned your wrists to the floor before tying them up with delicate red rope and tightening it. It wasn’t like the man was scared of you slipping away and hurting him, you were too weak and tiny to stand a chance against his years of power - lifting and muscle - training anyways, he just wanted you to be as uncomfortable and squirmish as possible. Your tormentor wished for you to be in worse pain than he had been during his youthful years, and he knew exactly what to do. Next thing you knew Jason had ripped your dress apart, leaving you vulnerable and exposed in just your plain old panties and bra. Cold shivers ran down your spine when the chilly air hit your naked flesh and you finally realized there wasn’t getting away from this. You had to stay there, limbs bound together, unable to move or fight back, the stranger’s hands caressing your neck before moving dangerously close to your clothed breasts. You felt so sick you were going to throw up for sure if your abductor didn’t step back so you decided to use your last resort.

“Jason, please stop!” You screamed out of the blue, forcing the brunette to freeze instantly at the use of his birth name. You had already called him a pervert and a psycho which didn’t seem to faze him, but the name clearly caught him off guard. This only seemed to prove your theory further - the man really was your former classmate, despite the only similarity between them being the dark distant look in his eyes. “I beg you, don’t hurt me!” You continued, hoping to at least buy yourself more time before the assault took place. 

He gulped loudly and stared at your quivering form. The impossible had happened, you had recognized him and now together with fear, there was also pity in your gaze, the one emotion your captor absolutely despised. You used to be the only one who pitied him, and even now that he was bigger, better and stronger than before, you still had the guts to pity him. It drove him insane but any attempt to hurt or touch you was fruitless now - your soft skin was suddenly burning his fingers like hellfire. 

“You must be thinking that I am a monster.” Jason started out dryly, chuckling bitterly, humorlessly even. He clenched his fists unconsciously and brought them to the floor in a fit of rage, missing your head by mere inches. Your heart was beating like crazy and you only hoped the mandman couldn’t hear it. “A freak.” The man spat out the word like it was a curse and for a split second his eyes softened before turning into two spinning torches. “Right?” You were sure that if looks could kill, his would have you dead by the end of the night so you quickly nodded your head no.

“You are lying to me again, pretty girl.” The brunette replied feisty, "pretty” rolling off his tongue like an insult. Then he broke into hoarse maniac laugher and lowered his head so his face leveled up with yours, so close you could feel his warm breath on your tear - stained cheek. “When I am done with you, you wouldn’t be so pretty anymore, darling.” Your captor growled and attacked your neck, sinking his teeth deep into the flesh. “You will see exaclty how ugly my love is.”

[thatgoblin]

RE Crack Drabble 39B

Actually not a drabble, but a small fic under the cut for naughty times. ;)

Warnings: smut, pegging, afab calling themself Daddy, Leon being called effeminate nicknames, some bondage, fake cum, strap-on.

For @interviewedchicken cause we bonded over Leon and this.

The box had arrived fairly quickly. You were surprised, but not complaining in the slightest. Leon had given you his credit card to buy what you wanted, within his parameters, so he wouldn't know what it was till you were ready.

What had been more fun was picking the outfit to go with it. After all, it fit so nicely that you couldn't help yourself. A pair of baggy cargo shorts with a pair of Leon's boxer briefs and his favorite band tee that you swiped from him did nicely. You were impressed with just how much that did for you. Looking at yourself in the mirror you would definitely be into the male version of yourself. The bulge wasn't too much, but it was obvious there was something there.

The toy itself was something you had never thought of, considering it was a niche market you weren't surprised. It was a double ended, strap on dildo. A nice thick part slipped into you while the other 7" were soft and hung with balls between your legs. With some magic of technology, the more friction there was, the dildo would get hard and stay hard. There was a thigh strap as well that held a large syringe you could fill with cum like lube, that when used would come out the tip of the cock.

Leon was going to lose his mind and you were so excited.

After one last look in the mirror, you went in search of Leon. Lucky for him, he was doing dishes in the kitchen.

"Hey baby," you purred, coming up behind him to hug him as his rinsed a plate.

"Hey Kiddo," he said with a soft chuckle. "What's up?"

"I got a present for you," you said in a sing song voice, pressing your groin to his ass.

"You d-Ooo?" Leon groaned as you pushed the toy against him, letting him feel it under your clothes. "Jesus Christ."

"I know," you giggled. "No one else is home and it's just us for the afternoon. I figured we could take it for a test run."

"Are you serious?" He hissed, bucking against the counter as you let go of him to rub his ass.

"Very much so. Tit for Tat baby," you hummed.

"Fine," Leon said with a sigh.

"If I didn't think you'd like it so much, I'd let you off the hook," you said, pulling away as Leon dried his hands.

"How do you know I'll like it?" Leon asked, turning around to face you. Seeing you standing there, leaning back against the opposite counter with a pronounced bulge in your pants. His cheeks went red as his eyes settled on your crotch.

"I have a hunch," you said, smirking. "Come on Princess, Daddy wants that ass."

Leon sputtered as you took his hand to lead him up the stairs to your room.

"I plan on taking it nice and easy with you, it wouldn't be any fun if you weren't into it," you said, closing the door behind you.

"Thanks," Leon said with a snort as he moved to sit on the bed. Moving to him to stand between his legs, you smirked as you pushed him back onto the bed. He let out a small grunt as you both crawled up the bed further, your cocks rubbing against each other through your pants. "Fuck," he breathed as he looked up as you.

"That's the plan," you said, leaning in to kiss him slowly. You didn't plan on rushing this. Leon was nervous and you were sure he would like it, so you wanted to make it pleasurable for you both. He was shifting every few seconds, but you kept things steady.

It wasn't long till Leon was moaning into the kisses as you rocked your hips together. The toy was getting hard and so was Leon. The knowledge that you were doing that to the other had you aroused. To see him want something he thought he didn't gave you a sense of power that was going to be abused in your hands. At least for the afternoon.

Pulling back, you peeled your shirt off, tossing it to the side as Leon did the same. Leaning back down, you caught his lips as your hands ran over his chest, making sure to run your nails over his sensitive nipples. The small thrust of his hips told you that he was very much enjoying this.

"You still okay, baby?" You asked, pulling back to look at him. If he really didn't want this then you would back off and you wanted him to know that.

"Yeah, I'm okay," he said, nodding softly as his hands gripped your hips to help make the grinding more intense, earning moans from you both. With his 'okay' you were ready to move forward. Sitting back on your haunches, you rubbed yourself through your shorts to show him what he was looking forward to. The toy inside you was doing a damn good job of giving you equal amounts of pleasure as you worked the length.

Cursing under his breath, Leon licked his lips as he watched you unbutton and unzip your shorts to reveal his underwear you were wearing, the fabric tenting as you pushed your shorts down.

"You've got me so hard, baby," you moaned as you rubbed yourself through the underwear.

"Fuck," Leon moaned as he pushed himself up to his elbows.

"You want to touch it?" You asked, looking up at him with a smirk.

"Yeah," he said with a nod. Moving to stand, you shucked your shorts off before straddling Leon.

"Go on, don't be shy, Princess," you said with a wink. Narrowing his eyes at you, Leon reached down to grope the hard cock in your underwear, earing a groan. "That's it, good job." The piece inside you pushed and moved against your clit in delicious pleasure as Leon continued his exploration. Pressing your ass against his erection, he groaned loudly, bucking his hips up. It was tempting to let him roll you over and take you, but you were focused on giving him a wonderful afternoon delight.

"Feels so real," he grunted as he helped you slide the underwear off to let your cock out. It bounced slightly, standing up straight as he took in the sight. "Holy fuck. I don't think that'll fit."

"I'm pretty sure I said the same thing about you, but it did indeed fit," you said with a chuckle. "You want to taste it?" Leon was never one to shy away from a kink or sex in general, but he'd made it clear that he'd never been with a guy past kissing and had never done anal. So, to see his cheeks get hot and his pupils blown wide had you slick and needy.

"Please," he said softly. Moving back, you let him up to undress completely. His own cock was right there with you, hard and starting to get a nice deep blush at the head.

"Go on, suck Daddy's cock," you hummed, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. Seeing Leon's member twitch at the nickname, you smirked as he went to his knees between your legs. "Take your time, baby, no need to rush." You looked down at him, seeing those lips shine with spit as he licked them, loving how he wasn't acting like he didn't want it to save face, but was enjoying himself and letting himself be seen enjoying it. Leon wrapped his lips around the head of your cock before slowly taking it in his mouth.

Carding your fingers through his soft hair, you hummed as he let himself get used to the feeling of something heavy and hot on his tongue. His hands were on your thighs as he steadily took more of you.

"Fuck, you look so good sucking on my cock, baby," you moaned as he hummed around you. The sight was intoxicating, the man who you always called Daddy and was so dominant was melting as he sucked your cock. You had a small musing of if the others would like this, but you pushed the thought away because you didn't want to miss a second of Leon's baby blues looking up at you.

While he was only able to get maybe half way down your length, you didn't push him. It was his first time and he was doing so well. You praised him non-stop, letting him know what a 'good girl' he was.

Getting close to cumming yourself, you gently pulled him off you to lean down and kiss him hard. It was your turn to be in charge and it was thrilling.

"Can Daddy truss you up and make you pretty?" You asked, reaching down to stroke Leon's dick.

"Please," he moaned, rocking into your hand.

"Ask me nicely," you hummed, kissing his neck.

"Fuck," he gasped as you gave him a squeeze.

"Not yet," you chuckled.

"Tie me up and make me pretty. . . Daddy," he moaned.

"Okay Princess. Get on the bed so Daddy can get what we need. On your knees," you said, letting go of him. As he got on the bed, you moved to the dresser to pull out everything you needed. Rope, lube, gloves, and a handkerchief. Coming back, you set everything aside to run your hands over Leon's body, wanting to have a moment of softness with him as you kissed him lazily. "Here we go, Kitten. We're gonna make you look so pretty."

Leon moaned as you guided him on where you wanted him to go. Most of the time neither of you were too rough with this part. You both wanted it and enjoyed the contact you made as you explored each others bodies. Tying his wrists to his biceps, you made sure they were secure but not cutting anything off. Then you wrapped the baby blue rope around his chest and back to pin his arms to his sides completely. It also gave you a handle to hold for when things became more intense.

"Feel good?" You asked as you grabbed the handkerchief.

"Yeah," he said with a nod. You raised a brow at him before giving him a quick tap on his dick head. Leon gasped and sputtered a moment. "Yes, Daddy."

"Good girl," you said, leaning down to kiss the tip you'd just tapped. "Can you snap?" Leon was able to, knowing that was how you two had safe words when you were gagged. Snap once for go, two for slow down, and three for stop. "You're doing so good, I'm so proud of you," you said, moving to kiss him as you rubbed his sides.

"Thank you, Daddy," he breathed when you pulled away. Fuck, you were considering not using a gag. The way he called you Daddy had you buzzing.

"You're gonna make me want to fuck you like this all the time," you moaned as you grabbed the handkerchief. Usually it would be tied in a knot, but you still wanted to hear his beautiful noises, so you opted to instead just pull the material between his lips. Again, he was still getting used to things in his mouth in such a submissive way you didn't want to over do it.

Groaning, you sat back to inspect your handy work. Gods, you two needed to talk about taking photos of one another like this. He was stunning with his face blushing a dark red that ran down his neck while his dark blond locks fell into his eyes, making the matching fabric of the gag and rope pop.

"If I ever stop telling you how gorgeous you are, slap me," you said, leaning in to kiss over his neck while your hands rubbed over his belly and to his thighs. He groaned, leaning into the touch while nuzzling your neck as you took another moment to just enjoy this man. With a grunt, you pulled back to wrap your hand around his throat. Not squeezing, but as a sign you were ready to move forward. A single snap of his fingers and you pushed him onto his back.

"I'm going to enjoy opening you up, Princess," you moaned as you moved him into the middle of the bed. Pulling on the latex gloves, you pushed his legs open as you trailed open mouth kisses down his thigh to his sac. Giving it a gentle kiss, you looked up as you heard Leon whimper. With a grin, you grabbed the lube to pour a small bit onto your fingers and his hole.

He gasped and tensed up as the coolness, but as you rubbed that tight ring of muscles, you were also giving him a stroke of his cock here and there. Humming softly, you circled his pucker before steadily pushing your middle finger in.

"You're so fucking tight," you hissed as Leon's thighs shook around you. A bit more lube was added as you pulled out to push back in. "Doing so good, sweetheart," you said, continuing to give him a stroke here and there as you were able to work your finger in more easily. Adding your pointer finger was easier. You were surprised at how fast he was stretching for you. "That's it, let Daddy in."

Choking out a cry, Leon bucked up suddenly when you curled your fingers and found a spot that was almost like a button. Looking up at his face, you saw the sheen of sweat already forming on his forehead as you pressed into it again. That was definitely a spot to remember.

"Snap," you said, just wanting to make sure. A quick snap and you were good to go. Scissoring your fingers, Leon began to get noisier. Usually he was more of a grunter and soft groans, but you knew how to twist those sweet sounds out of him. Whines and whimpers as you began to finger fuck him as you clench your thighs together. Once you were able to get a third finger into him and he was trying to push on your fingers, it was time.

Pulling out completely, Leon cried out in protest.

"Shhh, Princess. Don't worry, Daddy's gonna fill you right back up," you groaned as you stroked your own cock to its full length. Adding plenty of lube, you adjusted your position as you pressed your head to his entrance. Carefully, you began to push into Leon. It was slow, but you didn't want to hurt him or scare him. "That's it, go ahead and take Daddy's cock," you said as you added more lube as you kept pushing forward.

Leon was beside himself in need as he sobbed while you buried yourself to the hilt inside him. His legs trembled as you leaned forward to kiss his face and neck.

"Such a good girl. Taking Daddy's cock like that. I bet your ass feels so full, doesn't it?" You moaned as you let him adjust to your length and girth. He nodded with a whimper, panting heavily through his nose. "Once you get used to this cock, I'll get another one. It'll be longer and thicker so you can have some fun bouncing on it," you said as he groaned loudly.

After a few moments, you drew your hips back before pressing them back. The moans you coaxed out of Leon were enough affirmation to let you know you could keep going. Going to your knees, you took off the gloves to grip Leon's hips and pull him close as you began a slow, lazy thrust. You couldn't stop watching his hole just swallow your cock up as he moaned like a porn star for you. It was mind blowing that you were the one to bring this out in him.

Leon Kennedy, the President's right hand man on security was losing his mind over you fucking him in the ass and loving every second of it.

Gripping his hips tighter, you sped up your thrusts, making them harder as well. Leon's eyes went wide as he watched you drill into him.

"Such pretty noises for me," you moaned as you shifted to pull one of his legs over your shoulder. The new angle had him howling in pleasure as you sped up. The sound of your bodies was lewd and coupled with Leon's needy cries, you were close to cumming. Reaching down, you began to stroke his dark red cock, earning a scream of pleasure.

"Good girl. My good Princess. Taking his Daddy's cock like a champ." Panting harder, you growled as you felt his cock leaking heavily. "You want Daddy to make you cum?" You asked. "Tell Daddy you want to cum on his cock."

His muffled words were lost and you couldn't let that happen. Stilling after a particularly harsh thrust into him, you bent him in half to reach up and pull the gag out. He gasped and choked out sob as you went back to fucking him, but still in that position.

"Go on, beg Daddy for your orgasm," you snarled as you pounded into him.

"Fuck!" He sobbed. "Pl-please Daddy, make me cum!"

"All you had to do was ask, Princess," you moaned as you kept stroking him till he was screaming at his release. Shaking and gasping for breath, Leon came hard onto his belly and chest. You kept stroking him, milking him till he was spent. "So beautiful," you groaned, kissing him hard before pulling back. Now it was your turn. Your hips thrust wildly into him, making him whimper as you yourself whined at the edge of your own release.

Crying out, you felt it crash over you as you rutted into Leon. Not missing that last step, you reached down and pushed the plunger in the syringe on your thigh. The cum lube shot through the cock and into Leon. It was a lot more than any of the others would have, but you wanted it like that. Panting heavily, you slowly pulled out of Leon. A thick, white trail was left behind, making you smile as it already started to leak out of him. There was still some in the cock itself so you stroked it to milk it as well, letting it dribble over Leon's spent cock.

Looking at it, he groaned softly as you unhooked the device to pull out of you before setting it aside. With shaky hands, you untied Leon before flopping next to him. He was quick to roll over to his side and press against you, resting his head on your chest as you stroked his hair.

"That was a good idea," he said after a few minutes of being quiet.

"I told you so," you said with a giggle, looking down at him.

"Shush," he sighed, rolling his eyes before catching your lips to start the post coital make out.

Master List

Tag List: @abysswhiskey11 @interviewedchicken @cadouboo @lonely-af-fangirl @girl-obsessed-with-things @mmmm----15 @depressedthebluefox @whimsywispsblog @singingsiren98 @parkerschurros @chrissyreid

[ajaxwrites]

Genshin Impact Fanfic Rec List

(because this is my most current obsession~~)

The Narwhal of Dihua Marsh by GreyLiliy

Childe hears of a strong Adeptus living at the Wangshu Inn. Despite warnings from Zhongli that fighting Xiao would be a deathly mistake, Childe seeks out the Adeptus living in the Dihua Marsh eager for a proper fight.

However, Childe severely underestimates his opponent, and the consequences of his actions may keep him from returning home to Snezhnaya.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: This fic is interesting primarily because it's not necessarily what you would call an easy story to read. The content can surprisingly get quite heavy as the relationship between Childe and Zhongli isn't healthy and it becomes increasingly obvious as the story progresses. You swing between wanting to separate the two and also desperately wishing that they'll work out because there is something there. The story snowballs from what seems like an innocuous, if stupid and rash, decision on Childe's part to a complicated mess that you can’t help but be enthralled in. I went in expecting your typical romance and ended up in something that was more complex than I expected but also beautifully thought provoking.

Entirely Out of Spite by Bgtea

"Welcome to a new user experience! You have triggered this interface with the keywords, ‘Stupid game! Stupid devs! I want my f*****g money back!’ You are now bound to the character Tartaglia, the Eleventh Harbinger of the Fatui, codename: Childe! We hope you have an enjoyable user experience and we welcome you once again to Genshin Impact 2.0!”

Those are some of the first words Ajax, starving college student extraordinaire, has the misfortune of hearing upon waking up in a brave new world from what he's fairly sure is a very, very fatal accident involving water and a shit ton of electricity.

Okay, so he's not dead. That's good. But what's this about him being stuck playing the character Tartaglia? Tartaglia, as in the shitty, one-dimensional, cartoonish villain who met his untimely, gruesome death in the first act of the original game?

Fuck that noise. Like hell Ajax is going to share that fate.

And so begins one man's journey to unfuck himself.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Whenever this updates, I squeal. If you’re a fan of The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System or just transmigration/reincarnation plots in general, you’re going to love it. Bgtea does a beautiful job in balancing humor with the trauma that comes with the whole reincarnation plotline. The whole of it is beautiful written and watching Childe/Ajax interact with the other characters (and the perspective of those characters) is a delight! 

the sister by glassdrachma

The tragic and unexpected death of Zhongli-xiansheng of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor occurred to the sorrow of many and the deep skepticism of a few.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: glassdrachma has a gift for humor and romance. In short, Zhongli fakes his death for plot reasons and comes back as Jianlao, the bereaved twin sister. Shenanigans ensue, featuring overprotective Liyue-ians (?), chaotic gremlin Venti, and Kexing. Very light hearted, good for the soul.

The White Cicada Society by clementinesgulag

After his little brother is bundled back to Snezhnaya, Childe makes good on his promise to the traveller and takes the first boat out of Liyue Harbor. Any sense of homecoming lasts about as long as an uncooked steak in front of Xiangling, however, when his boat sinks, grounding him back in the mainland.

It's just as well, because the next morning, a body is found in the Northland Bank. A visit from a fellow Harbinger reveals a far more insidious plot than anything Childe could concoct with a god of the vortex and twenty minutes without supervision. The murders aren’t limited to the one Bank. They’ve been trailing down the Liyue border, getting closer and closer to the city. The Tsaritsa has a new mission for him: to figure out who, or what is targeting Fatui forces.

Against his best wishes, Childe is forced to see Zhongli again at the morgue. It becomes clear that he’s going to need a guide, and Childe resolves to quash his pride, and their differences to request his help to navigate Liyue and solve the case.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: A diamond in the rough that I slept on and then stumbled back to by accident. I had it marked for later on AO3 and forgot about it for like a good week to my utter self-disgust. It. Is. So. Damn. Good! The mystery is intriguing but I live for the realistic portrayal of the aftermath of the whole gnosis plotline. The betrayal, the bitterness, but ah, the sexual tension. The harbinger interactions in this fic make it gold though.

Lungs full of Roses by SecretlyACatLady

Childe had always assumed that he would die young. He had accepted that a long time ago, ever since he accepted the mantle of a Fatui Harbinger. However, he always thought that he would die in a glorious fight, his body broken but spirit relishing the strong opponent that had bested him. He was okay with that type of death.

Unfortunately, it seemed like Fate had decided to add one last insult to injury, because, here Childe was, dying because he had fallen in love with the ex-Geo Archon. The same Archon who seemed to have discarded him like an old toy ever since the Osial Incident. --- In which divine beings are cruel and a cursed Childe starts preparing for his inevitable death because no Archon could ever love a mortal.

…Right?

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: The fic that started it all for me, the one that sucked me into the fandom. This fic is heartbreaking. We always do love a hanahaki plotline but something about the way it frames the disease and the shame that comes with it...I highly recommend giving it a read. The angst is real I tell you.

The Bride of The Golden Dragon by Erika_Bee

“You’re to be sent on a special mission, Tartaglia.”

The young man’s eyes gleamed in interest. “How special?” He asked as he wiped the blood off his daggers.

His superior grinned. “Special enough to put your name in Snezhnaya’s history books.”

—

In which the Archon War ravaged the land of Liyue and to ensure the people’s survival, the God of Geo established the Harvester Contract: One bride per village, every year, in exchange for protection and a good harvest.

Or: Childe is sent on an undercover mission to kill the Geo Archon, but things don’t go as planned.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Don’t let the title scare you off--this isn’t one of those fics where they feminize one of the male characters and reduce their personality to a mindless submissive bobblehead to the point that I want to throw my laptop out of the window. Not that there’s anything wrong if you like that kind of thing, just not my cup of tea. This fic though---READ IT! There’s just something refreshing about the writing and the plot, the way that Childe’s character reads off the page. I live for the interactions between the characters and how the author has mapped the relationships. Warning that recent chapters have swerved decided into NSFW territory though.

the brothers grim by izabellwit

Left in an unfamiliar land with a mission he never wanted, a young Kaeya lies, survives, and somehow finds a family in the process.

Or: How Kaeya came to Dawn Winery, and why he left it. Includes lore, sibling bickering, found family struggles, and a more in-depth look at the years between Kaeya’s arrival and Crepus’s death.

Ships: N/A

Notes: Ahh, little Kaeya. Cheeky ass little shit that’s too angsty and adorable for his own good. I don’t have words for this fic. It makes my heart warm but also makes me want to weep because god, this fic covers exactly how traumatic Kaeya’s situation is and why child soldiers/spies just shouldn’t be. And the dynamic he has with Diluc and Crepus--do me a favor and read it. Screams found family.

the wind through the mountain tops by glassdrachma

Boredom brings Barbatos of Mondstadt to bother a certain ex-Archon of the Earth.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: A light-hearted, humorous and fluffy as hell piece. Short word is that Venti comes to Liyue for some fun, causes chaos, accidentally plays matchmaker, and steals some vegetables. A get-together fic for Childe and Zhongli that includes a surprisingly self-aware (if blunt and snarky) Zhongli and jealous Childe that gets increasingly flustered.

melt (speak or forever hold your peace) by anatakana

Falling into bed with Diluc was an unbelievably bad idea given their tumultuous shared history, but Kaeya’s impulsive urge to amuse himself knew no bounds.

It’s all fun and games until emotions got involved.

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: THIS IS NSFW. With plot though? This is THE FIC that got me shipping the two (though the game did a good job on its own). The angst is real here and we love the sheer gal of both of these two stupid men.

Cascading (In a good way) by Hubbleablubble

Kaeya is a fascinating annoyance.

(Or: A series of events in which Albedo gets to know Kaeya, and they slowly go from strangers to acquaintances to something more.)

Ships: Albedo/Kaeya

Notes: Sweet fic. Not my typical ship pairing. Loved the Khaenri’ah mentions. Kaeya is Trans FTM here though it’s only briefly mentioned. There is also an incomplete sequel (as of May 2021) featuring an Overprotective Big Brother Diluc on a warpath giving shovel talks to everyone except apparently Albedo that’s also worth reading.

The Language of Flowers by Jules (Penwyn)

Kaeya Alberich has made a habit of lying—after all, the only truths he’s ever spoken cost him everything—but there are only so many lies a man can tell before the truth comes spilling out.

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: Hanahaki! Except not! Basically, Kaeya pukes up flowers that say the truth whenever he lies. Cue, angst! Lovely and quick read--love Kaeya’s voice here.

i know i'm where i'm meant to go by paperclips (pastel_paperclips)

"Childe," Zhongli says suddenly. "I am enjoying myself greatly."

Childe’s face breaks into a grin. "Then-"

Zhongli gasps, grabbing his wrist and tugging him over to an unsuspecting peddler with a cart full of rocks. "Is that an intrusive igneous pegmatite formed in the Inazuma regions?"

Childe’s grin smooths into a small, adoring smile. He has all the time in the world to figure the other man out.

OR: Finding the Geo Archon is on Childe's to-do list but hanging out with Zhongli is significantly more fun.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Childe, you idiot. Humorous and funny, very light hearted. Makes you wonder if Childe has an IQ. He’s too busy pining/lovesick to realize that he told his target that he’s going to kill him for his gnosis. Zhongli and Liyue remain confused on how Childe still DOES NOT get it but half-ass hiding his Archon status anyway.

the bird without wings by Anonymous

"Kaeya!" someone yells. Small arms wrap around his waist tightly, red hair spilling out of the ponytail, and Kaeya's heart almost stops.

He's talked his way out of all types of situations. From placating international disputes to buttering up his informants, he's always had a quick response to everything.

But for once, Kaeya is speechless. He stares down at the boy with puffy cheeks, slightly crooked teeth and sparkling bright eyes.

Eight year old Diluc beams back.

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: Diluc gets de-aged and Kaeya gets angsty. The interactions between the two are heartwarming and will induce tears. Childe makes a brief appearence that *chef’s kiss*

call me "lover boy" by Anonymous

Zhongli turns back, eyes bright with amusement, a stray lilypad still stuck in his hair, and Childe thinks, wow. I want to kiss him stupid.

Childe's not into the whole "swooning maiden patiently waiting for his beloved to swoop down and smooch the daylights out of him" thing. Nah, that's not his style. He's Tartaglia, eleventh of the Fatui harbingers, and he's going to kiss Zhongli right now.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: FUNNY AS HELL. Childe is straight up just trying to plant one on Zhongli but fate and people just keep interfering. It’s a weird trope aversion where the character is actively trying to confess rather than avoiding it but life gets in the way. 

springtime in snezh-nya-ya by miaomaomei

Tartaglia’s body moves before he can even think about it. He arches his back and flattens his ears against his head, baring his teeth in a hiss. Considering he barely even reaches Scaramouche's knees — Scaramouche, of all people! The guy is practically the size of a fourteen-year-old — he doubts that he is cutting as imposing a figure as he hopes.

It isn't a surprise, though. No one could become a Fatui Harbinger if they were scared of a little cat.

OR

Tartaglia is turned into a cat and he goes to Zhongli for help. It goes about as well as expected.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: TOO ADORABLE FOR WORDS. This is just pure fluff I swear. Love how Childe is written and the interactions between the two are just ahhhh. A balm on the soul.

Melt by tanktrilby

“My name is Diluc,” he says. A scowl naturally furrows his brow, and Kaeya looks like he wants to laugh.

He’s looking at him through his lashes again, blue eyes teasing and warm. “Diluc,” he says. “A knight in overalls isn’t quite where I thought my preferences would lie, but here we are.”

(or: Kaeya loses his memories and makes some assumptions. Diluc can't honestly tell him that he's wrong.)

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: As the summary says, Kaeya loses his memories. Diluc plays babysitter for plot reasons. Meanwhile, Kaeya freaks out and has an essential crisis because his instincts freak him out which = angst. Simultaneously, sort of love confessions? 

you are cordially invited by ktenologious

When the Traveler receives a mysterious invitation from a Snezhnayan businessman, they seek out help from the only Snezhnayan they are on good terms with. They decide it is a wonderful idea to go to this business party in the middle of the ocean because, well, what could be better entertainment than watching a Fatui Harbinger at work? It is too bad Childe couldn't come with them...

Meanwhile, the Tsaritsa needs someone to track down the source of a brand new drug at a party on a cruise; it just so happens that she has two Harbingers who specialize in causing chaos and sinking ships. Scaramouche is a sadist and loves this, and Tartaglia... Well, Tartaglia just wants to know why is he the one in the dress again.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe, sort of Diluc/Kaeya & Scaramouche/Childe

Notes: Features a crossdressing Childe and Kaeya for plot reasons. Funny as hell. Love Fatui dynamics/interactions. Highly recommend. Go read it. I’m serious. It’s so beautiful, I can’t. Also Zhongli is so love-sick and jealous, it’s hilarious.

The Road to Snezhnaya by paranoid_fridge

Everything's done and over. Now, Zhongli only needs to adjust to living like an ordinary mortal. Or that is what he thinks until a familiar face shows up in Liyue. Teucer comes looking for his brother who failed to return to Snezhnaya on the Fatui ships. And as Childe's declared "friend", Zhongli must help Teucer find him.

Or: Teucer drags Zhongli on a cross-country goose chase looking for Childe. Zhongli just happens to find a bit more along the way.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: I have no words for this fic outside of the fact that it is clear that Teucer has the only functioning brain and should be Best Man because he obviously did all the work here. Features an oblivious Childe and overprotective Zhongli, plus bystander Kaeya that is getting allll of the gossip. And also the most destructive group of children ever.

basket of knives by oronine

“I just want to be loved,” Childe says to himself, to whoever is listening. “Is that too much to ask?”

They are on the roof once more, this time Childe’s foot touches the edge of the building as he daydreams of something that cannot be. The sky is blank and cloudy and perhaps Lumine fears it’ll all end when he takes a step.

“Not at all,” she says. It’s still the truth.

Contrary to popular belief, Childe hates his family but loves them all the same.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: TW for suicidal ideation, suicide attempt, self-harm, depression, etc. Not a light read by any definition. Set in a modern AU, not in the genshin impact universe. Features a Childe that is Not Okay, good friend but also probably traumatized friend Lumine (and her brother Aether), and Zhongli. Family dynamic is messed up as hell and explores mental health quite well in my opinion. I’m not sure how healthy necessarily Childe’s relationships are but I think that’s a given considering the context and how derailed his mental health is in this fic. Definitely angst as heavy, made me tear up quite a bit. Read, but pay attention to the content/trigger warnings as it does get quite explicit.

Bane of All Evil by tzitzimeme

When Chongyun unintentionally offends Liyue's second most powerful adepti, he vows to mend the thorny relationship between Adeptus Xiao and human exorcists-- even though no one has succeeded in currying Xiao's favor for over a thousand years.

His best friend Xingqiu offers to come alone, mainly because he's worried about what kind of trouble Chongyun will run into. Along the way, they receive help from others: Xiangling packs them meals for their journeys, while Zhongli gives them advice on what demons to track.

Childe is just there because he thinks the whole thing is hilarious.

Ships: Chongyun/Xinqiu

Notes: JFKLFJS I LOVE THIS. I love Chongyun’s characterization and the interaction between all the characters. The dynamic between Chongyun, Xingqiu, and Xiangling are to die for. Also, this line: “Stuck-up Persnickety Bastard.” Random note but Xiao throws Chongyun off a balcony yet is also 100% a softie.

Talks about Nothing by tzitzimeme

In which Zhongli unlocks the Memory of Dust, only to find out:

1. Guizhong is 100% alive (just disembodied) within it, 2. Guizhong has been watching over him this whole time, and 3. Guizhong is very excited by the prospect of Zhongli getting a cute Snezhnayan boyfriend.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe, Venti/Xiao

Notes: The pure judgment that Guizhong unleashes on Zhongli (as well as her sass in general) is pure comedic gold. The dynamic between Xiao and Venti are also adorable. Meanwhile, Childe misunderstands and also just wants to know what the fuck is going on.

xi wangmu by tzitzimeme

Xiangling scales entire mountains to satisfy the palettes of her two pickiest customers.

(Or, two men who are emotionally stunted by their own immortality inadvertantly turn an overly enthusiastic chef into their messenger pigeon.)

Ships: Zhongli/Xiao (?)

Notes: Not sure if it reads romantic exactly, can definitely be read as platonic. The fic boils down to Xiangling trying to expose Xiao to variety because just eating plain almond tofu is a no no. Zhongli gives advice/uses Xiangling as a messenger pigeon. Backstory is explored!

Falling (Fallen) by asinglecrow

It’s only when Childe finds himself in front of Zhongli, a spear protruding from his stomach, that he thinks oh I might have fucked up.

Or: The worst (best) day of Childe's life.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Funny and lighthearted! Gets sort of NSFW with passing mention of mpreg but otherwise, it’s just pure humor/fluff. Get-together fic featuring deadpan dragon Zhongli and Childe that is just done with everything. 

the louvre by morisuke

Here in Liyue, the air is filled with the ocean, and the sun shines through the mountains like it’s flowing through a crack in the sky. Here in Liyue, there is a man with no wallet at a vending machine that is going to waste the rest of his day showing a stranger around their school campus for a pocket sized can of iced coffee.

It’s interesting here in Liyue, Childe thinks.

or

Where Childe flirts with a stranger at a campus vending machine.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Set in a modern/college AU. This is a relatively quiet, soft kind of story. Childe comes to Liyue because reasons and falls in love quietly. It’s more of a snippet of life type of fic that’s sweet and peaceful. Love the change that comes over Childe as he finds a home.

[luidilovins]

You should turn your post on the Uncanny Valley into a book or something. I am not even kidding, it's brilliant and sorely needed information. Thank you for it.

Tbh its just speculative that the uncanny valley is an inherent biological trait and not cultural or a learned behavior at the moment. A good example would be the cultural phenomenon of colorophobia where in the US we have a longer history of using clowns in our horror pop culture genres than countries like Japan.

Clown entertainment has been around since the Egytian times and maybe some people have always been freaked out by them it honestly just takes one director or author to have an disproportionately irrational fear and good cinematography skills to convince people that they SHOULD hate clowns just as much, (I could say the same about the movie Jaws but thats a bit of a tangent,) or a memorable event that damages the public's trust in something that SHOULD be innocent or harmless. (A good examples being the John Wayne Gacy trials.)

Clowns are also thought to be in the uncanney valley so ita a fairly good argument on cultural phenomenon versus genetic traits. Up until aroud the 60s-70s clowns were actually fairly well liked by the US general public and a lot of older generation still find a fondness in it that would scare the living shit out of their grandchildren.

As far as evidence that I may be right about the "uncanney valley might be because of rabies" theory, there has been a small case study suggesting that the movements of a non-human robot that trigger the effect in us, is also present in people with parkinsons but the sample size is too small for me to be thoroughly convinced.

And don't be mistaken I also dislike this concept because saying that ableism is an inherent human trait is just as bad as saying racism is an inherent human trait. There is little to gain from distrust in the disabled and little historical evidence to suggest it was common or beneficial to discard disabled people. Disabled people's remains have been found time and time again to live to incredibly long livea and be cared for, and participate in their communities. I'm highly critical of this particular case study and I take it with a grain of salt because its on cosmo, but evidence of human disabilities and compassion can be sourced by actual bones and it's been placed on VERY credible sources. NPR, NBC, Discovery, Nat Geo, NY Times, literally the clostest you can get to creme of the crop news articles on DOZENS of accounts and if you have a goddam problem then pay for a tour to the Smithsonian, find an archeologist and coherse them into showing you the bones and then explain phorensics to you because you probably wouldn't understand unless you too were a phorensic archeologist yourself.

What I DO BELIEVE tho is that if the uncanny valley is a legitimate inherent trait, that like most evolutionary traits, it made it this far for this long because it somehow served us benificially. And the biggest benifit I can think of is identifying neuro-infectious diseases because they can spread agressivley, many of them lead to death or lasting effects and are fucking MISERABLE to catch. We're talking brain swelling, fevers, uncontrollable vomiting, tremors, hallucinations, motor and vocal tics, difficulty swallowing, seizures. This could all happen because they eat infected deer meat or because of one bad fox bite. It's miserable if you survive and horrifying if you dont. Rabies can survive in your muscle tissue for years before infecting your brain and once it does usually you only live for about 5-10 days in and out of concious knowledge that you're going to die painfully, and disease aggrivated psychosis. It would be hard to pinpoint the causation because the amout of time before full blown infection would vary too much to assosiate for a long time. So your only option is to hone in on telltale signs.

The disabled people who would suffer from herdeditary or developmental neurological disorders run the risk of prejudice from mistaken identity, but if a human is part of a community, and doesn't die within a week from having a wobbly head, it would sooner or later become apparent that they're not dangerous. I think nowadays culturally people don't press to learn more about disabled people due to social and political prejudice and never fucking grow up past that. Mistaken identity or not. You learn about people from the patterns of their behaviors so even ones that seem abnormal to you become a normal recognizable pattern for them. Fancy that.

We don't get grossed out by chimps or gorillas, who are even more distant cousins, and the proof that we don't have a search and destroy button for anything immediatly related to us is a bunch of bullshit can be found in almost every human's blood on earth. And not just neanderthals, but denisovans as well. And that's not even accounting for genetic backtracking the crossbreeding of other sapiens species before we were whittled down to just the three. What makes the tweet even stupider is that when neandertals still roamed the earth humans were shorter, hardier, and overall more rough looking so we looked even indistinguished then. We Also Chewed On Bones and neandertals handled cold climates better than us based on a study on chest cavity density and, skull nasal intake and heat circulation, providing genetic diversity and the upper hand in survival in the tundras or mountainous regions spanning over Eurasia. If it wasn't for humans fucking neandertals we might not have been able to spread over the contient or diversify the way we did.

So my full hypothesis is that if the uncanny valley is a genetic inherent human trait it was used to benifit people from catching agressive diseases in a time where the benifit of fearing a group member with rabies outweighed the cost of fearing a group member with a disability like parkinsons.

WHAT PISSED ME OFF was the idea that we are DESIGNED to be unwary of our evolutionary cousins could easily be used for white supremacist spaces to justify racism BECAUSE IT ALREADY HAS

So that one tweet that might seem like a quirky thinkpiece in my eyes is just fuel for eugenics trend round whatever number we're on. It's like we don't fucking learn. It would be REALLY easy to retool the concept that it's natural for people to be fearful of whatever the bullshit definition of sub-humans are. Claiming that black people were sub-human thus deserving of mistrust and submission to white ownership worked like a fucking charm.

Maybe if I go to college and major in psyche/socio/civics it'll be my college thesis. Right now I'm more of a hobbyist than anything, but what I DO know is that anyone can make an untested hypothesis to combat another untested hypothesis and it should hold just as much goddamn value. I combatted the idea that the idea that human othering was funneled into an unconfirmed effect that causes disgust and terror based on non-human sapiens is in fact racist and gave what is in my opinion a more evoluntionary practical approach to the uncanney valley.

The generalized links that I used APARENTLY weren't good enough for some people but aparently a single tweet that says "hur dur heedle dee uncanney valley exists because of human cousins" was taken at face value even tho it was probably tapped out in five seconds without regards to the reproccussions. I find a huge discomfort that less than studious links about the evolution of monkey social behaviors that I used as a guideline to explaining my concerns became the focal point for people to nitpick without even having the gall to "well actually" on the subject. That absolute ravaging NEED to rip apart at it and devolve into name calling because I MENTIONED racism is fucking suspicious and I don't trust it. I had to stop looking at the responses because some people were only reblogging and arguing with barely half of my argument and i was getting nowhere fast.

There were a few people that made actual points with cited sources that made their own rebuttle arguments. That I respect. It's just as valid an argument as mine and I'm ALWAYS willing to take on more credible sources to strengthen my stance or gain perspective.

But it's the utter dismissal of a concerning concept that just seeped into the subtext that gnawed at my gut. Some people on top of hating the linked sources I provided, admitted they didn't read it, refused to read between the lines to purposfully misinterpret or derail my main points, and detract that my claim that the tweet was a result of systemic white supremacy saturated into modern science was a bunch of bullshit because I claimed that 1500s anglos invented racism.

The thing is we did invent the racism that we fucking currently subscribe to.

We practice the science that we formulated based on our own social prejudice. Real people die from this.

We remain uncritical of our own theorums that we postulate then pat ourselves on the back like we're philosophical geniuses even though racism is a family heirloom with a new paint job.

We preach the eugenics ideals that we pulled out of our asses to benifit from fearmongering, promises of national security and unpaied labor.

White supremacists create subtext with the intention of it being consumed by accident or in ways that seem palatable.

Fuck.

That.

I don't hate the person who wrote the tweet. Chances are that they gave the tweet as much thought as they took the time to write it and went on their day as a fun little thinkpiece. Everyone on the internet does it. But its that kind of thinking error that needs to be adressed as a progression of historic and scientific prejudice that gets rehashed, recycled and untouched and continually damages and is weaponized against marginalized people. I am not wrong for taking it seriously especially when a bunch of people were sitting around nodding their heads just as effortlessly.

I don't owe the internet any more sources than the tweet. I don't owe anyone on the internet a full scientific ananysis. And the people's reaction to what I had to say was actually what further convinced me I might have hit the nail on the head.

[mydisasteracademia]

SFW Alphabet: Shouta Aizawa

Ah, the grumpy caterpillar. I love this man so much.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He’s a lot like a cat. Generally doesn’t care for public displays of affection, but when he goes to you he likes to do little things like hold your hand or wrap his arm around your waist. He’s quiet with his affection.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Honestly? Not that much different from the usual, aside from him being a little bit more friendly. He’s incredibly private with most matters of his life, but if he’s a good friend at least he’ll go out drinking with you sometimes. Your friendship likely started away from his work, given that he doesn’t like to mix his working and personal lives together.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

If the two of you are alone, he loves cuddling. Sitting on the couch? In bed? He’s curled up to your side, head in your lap as he dozes off. If he’s sitting and reading or going through papers, he might pull you in to sit in his lap and rest his chin on your shoulder as he works.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

This man. This poor man. He utterly sucks at cooking. Can’t make dinner to save his life. Once burnt a grilled cheese sandwich so bad both sides of the bread were black. Still ate it because, well, food. He’s a little better at cleaning, if he could get enough energy to commit to the task. I don’t picture him as the type to settle down. He’s got too much trauma and far too many trust issues to fully commit. That, and he’s a Pro Hero. There is no way in hell he would ever expose his crush/significant other to the stresses that come with being married to a hero.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He’d probably sit you down and say it flat-out. “I want to break up.” His face is blank, but he’s sad on the inside -- he really liked you and he doesn’t want to end it, but he has to for your own safety. He doesn’t blame you if you hate him after this; it’ll just make it easier to protect you.

F = Fiancé(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Fucking terrified of getting married, and not because he’s a forever bachelor. He was already nervous about getting into a relationship due to his job; he would never be able to live with himself if you got targeted because someone figured out who he was and wanted to get back at him. He would definitely drag it out until you finally demand answers as to why he’s hesitant to take your relationship to the next level.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Shouta is a relatively blunt individual, but he can have his tender moments. These usually happen when you’re alone together and he doesn’t have to keep up appearances. He can get fairly clingy when cuddling up to you and you can see the affection in his eyes and when he speaks to you. But when you’re in public again? The only way you see it is in his eyes and the way his hand lingers near yours.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Doesn’t like hugs when in public. He prefers people keep their distance, but if his students are having a rough day he’s not gonna shove them off if they need a hug. With you, however, he prefers to save any and all outward displays of affection for when you’re alone and he can really unwind. When you’re alone, he loves hugging you.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

You’d probably end up saying it first. He’s really nervous about dropping the L-word in the beginning because he’s paranoid. He’s very protective of his friends, and as long as he considers you a friend, he’s gonna be scared of finally admitting his feelings to you. Might end up saying it to you when he’s totally smashed, and is regretful and avoidant the next morning until you finally corner him about it.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Doesn’t really get jealous easily unless your relationship has progressed quite a bit. He doesn’t mind if Hizashi or Nemuri get really close and affectionate with you because he knows they wouldn’t purposefully try to get a rise out of him like that, and Tensei is respectful and friendly from a distance. He definitely doesn’t get jealous of his students hogging your attention whenever you meet them, because they’re still just kids and he knows you wouldn’t do something stupid. When it comes to other people, however, he can get irritated easily the more friendly they are with you.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses can be deep and purposeful when you’re alone. He kisses you to make a statement - “I love you”. Sometimes they can be quick but no less meaningful. Just something to get him through the day until he can relax in the evening.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Doesn’t really care. He can handle children well enough, but he doesn’t prefer them. He cares about Eri, but he’s been her guardian for a while and she has her ways of winning over even the most hardened of adults. Generally can handle kids easier than teenagers because he considers them troublesome and unpredictable.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Despite how it might seem, he’s really regimented in the morning and can even get up before you do. He takes his job very seriously and is always awake and sipping some coffee at the same time each morning. Of course he’s going to nap during the day, but that’s during off-time when he doesn’t need to be teaching. (Or when the kids have study time.)

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

He spends the daytime finishing work so that he can come home and relax with you. During the early evening he likes to eat dinner with you and relax on the couch afterwards, head in your lap as you talk about your day. As the night winds down, if he’s not already napping with you on the couch he’s heading to bed with you, curled up with you in a deep sleep.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He’s really private about himself, and it takes a lot to get him to open up. Usually it’s a couple of things at a time while you’re friends; a story from his time at Yuuei, some silly stories about his friends, maybe something ridiculous that his students did the other day. When he gets really depressed (and you’re far enough into the relationship that he trusts you enough), he might talk of his dead loved ones - Oboro, maybe a previous student that he couldn’t save from a traumatic event, his fears for his current batch.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

To his credit, he has a lot more patience than most would think. He brushes off insults about himself, easy peasy. But even he has his tipping points, and it’s usually when someone insults his friends or students too many times. Especially when they start insinuating that one of his students would be better suited as a villain.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He can be forgetful about little details sometimes, but he remembers the most important things about you. He makes it a point to remember every anniversary and birthday and will sometimes give you little presents he knows you like.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite memory of you is when you stood up and protected his students during a villain attack. You were out on a shopping trip (really, why can’t they go anywhere without something happening?) and some random villain cornered a group of students and threatened them. You wasted no time in getting between them and the villain and keeping him away from them until he could be subdued.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He can be incredibly protective of you. Due to his job, both as a Pro and as a teacher, not a day goes by that he doesn’t worry about you being caught up in an attack, especially by the League. He would drop everything to aid you if you were attacked (especially considering you aren’t a hero). Although he doesn’t go looking for it, he greatly appreciates it when you’ve got his back too.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He does do his best to split things with you, but sometimes he’s too overworked and he has to shift some responsibility onto you. He hates doing this and tries to do his fair share so that you don’t get frustrated. He does his best to do things for anniversaries and dates, but his schedule is packed and unstable, and he sometimes has to apologize and reschedule. If he knows he can’t make something, he does leave you a present and a written apology.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He can be standoffish and curt, especially in public. He has an image he wants to uphold, and he doesn’t appreciate attempts to undermine that. He can be fairly lazy when he wants to be and naps quite a bit.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He’s not that concerned. As long as he doesn’t look like he just rolled out of bed five seconds ago, he’s good. He does make attempts to clean up nicely when it comes to press conferences, as rare as they are.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

To be blunt, not really. He appreciates your company, but if you broke it off, he would be able to move on.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

I have this serious headcanon that Hizashi bought Eri a matching sleeping bag because she wanted to be like Shouta, and his heart promptly melted. The two take naps together during some afternoons and it’s the cutest thing in the world.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Anything villainous or dangerous. He wants to make sure his friends, colleagues, and students are save above all else, and if he suspects that you’re either a turncoat or a dangerous person? He’s going to call you on it. He doesn’t appreciate judgmental people, either. Say one comment about his kids and he’s already looking at you a little more cautiously.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Horrible sleep schedule. Considering his full-time job being a teacher now (as well as the occasional mission undercover), he doesn’t get nearly as much sleep as he should. He staves it off somewhat with coffee, but it’s an extremely common sight to see him get into his sleeping bag and just doze.

[thesecondcircleofkel]

NSFW Alphabet, Hawks: A-Z

Reposting all of these together for convenience and to save space. I don’t accept requests to do the entire alphabet for someone all at once. You have to stick to the guidelines of 1 character per ask, and 5 letters per ask, and once I finish the alphabet for a character with requests like that, I will repost it all together. Request are closed at the moment, though.  

A: Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He can be a bit lazy with aftercare. He likes to bask in the afterglow for a while after sex, and he’s not going to move much during that. His wings really come in handy at this point, though, because while he may not be too keen on moving his body, he doesn’t have any issues with using his feathers to get you anything that you need. Beyond that, though, just let the man chill out for a moment, and he’s totally down to cuddle for a bit if you want to.

B: Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On himself, the obvious answer would be his wings. And he does love them; they’re a unique and gorgeous feature that very few people have, and he’s been able to do some fantastic hero work with them. He likes his eyes just a little bit more, though; he can churn out some really smoldering looks with them when he wants to, and he likes how those looks can have you panting in seconds.

On his partner, he’s torn between your ass and chest. He loves to leave marks all over your chest, but he also likes to grab a handful of your ass during sex. Both are visually appealing, too, so he honestly can’t decide between them.

C: Cum (Anything to do with cum)

He’s not picky about where comes, like, at all. He can see the appeal in coming inside of you and on you because he mainly just likes to make a bit of a mess with his cum, and he can do that via either method. His cum is a little on the thin side, but it’s still thick enough not to be too runny. The taste leaves a bit to be desired because he’s not exactly picky about what he eats.

D: Dirty Secret

He’s not exactly embarrassed by it, so much so that he’s actually planning out the logistics of it to try to make it happen, but most people would still frown on it so it still counts as a dirty secret: he wants to fuck you while flying at least once, just to say that he can and did.

E: Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Not as much as you’d think, surprisingly. Yes, he’s pretty and he’s got droves of people swooning over him, but he’s also really, really busy. He’s had his own hero agency since he was 18 and he’s been a top hero since then, too, and that doesn’t leave a lot of spare time for anything, much less dating or even one-night stands. He certainly knows what he’s doing, but most of that comes from research instead of gained experience.

F: Favorite Position

He can be a bit lazy during sex, so he loves any position where you ride him, particularly Cowgirl, but he will have to sit up a bit on account of his wings.

Leopard- he loves to see you stretched out in front of him as you work yourself on his cock, plus the view of your ass is to die for.

Oath- he thinks it’s pretty intimate, plus he can easily run his hands all over your body in this position, especially your chest.

Emperor-it gives him a damn good view of your entire body as you lounge out like a king/queen, plus it doesn’t irritate his wings.

G: Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

He can definitely be a bit more on the goofy side during sex. He can be serious if you want him to, but he generally prefers to be more playful with you than anything, and if you think that he won’t tickle you with his feathers during the act just to get a laugh out of you, you’re dead wrong.

H: Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes)

It’s all feathers…

I’m kidding, of course. The carpet is slightly darker than the drapes, and there isn’t a whole lot of it. What little there is of it is neatly trimmed, though.

I: Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Sex with Hawks can be pretty intimate, with those smoldering eyes of his and the constant hold that he’ll have on your waist. He realizes that his busy schedule doesn’t always allow him to be the most attentive of lovers, so he really cherishes the moments that he does have with you, and he’ll use sex as the perfect opportunity to remind you of how much he loves and needs you.

J: Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He jacks off a fair amount. He’s a young guy in his prime, and he’s got the sex drive to go along with that. Unfortunately, he’s also a busy guy, and it’s gotten to the point where he has to schedule his ‘personal time’ or else he won’t get around to it. It’s the same situation when it comes to having sex with his partner, and that’s something that upsets him greatly.

K: Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He’s definitely into using his feathers on you, especially for teasing, so Quirk/Sensation Play. It’s nice to use something that the public reveres him for in such a debauched way.

Voyeurism and Exhibitionism also make the list, but he’s definitely more into the former option. Does he make an active effort to catch you in any sort of indecent act? Yes, without question.

He’s also into Bondage, and it’s split 50/50 as to which one of you will get tied up, but if you get to have your way with him, just tease the hell out of him and you’ll be his favorite person in the world (as if you weren’t already).

He’s not as open about this one, and he has no idea where it came from, but he’s also into a bit of Degradation. On him.

L: Location (Favorite places to do the do)

He not picky in regards to location. He’ll be just as happy to fuck you in his bed as he will to fuck you in his office. He is pretty fond of you riding him on the couch, though, especially when the two of you are enjoying a rare lazy day together.

M: Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Spontaneity- if you can find some time in his schedule that he somehow missed to throw down, go for it. He really hates being forced to schedule sex because of his job, and he’ll be absolutely thrilled (and turned on) at the prospect of being able to take you when it wasn’t on his schedule.

Wear something that shows off your assets, whether that be a tight shirt or pair of shorts, a low-cut shirt, or some snazzy underwear that he can catch a small glimpse of. His eyes will be glued to you the entire day until he can have you, and then he’ll be sure to pay extra attention to the assets that you showed off.

His wings are totally sensitive around their base and touching him there is a good way to get him hard pretty quickly.

N: NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He’s pretty open-minded, so there isn’t much that he won’t try when it comes to sex, although he is a bit remiss to hurt you in any way. However, if you’re convincing enough and you start off slow and easy, he’ll give it a go.

O: Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He doesn’t have a preference over one or the other, but lord are his oral skills something to write home about. He likes to take his time when he goes down on you, really savoring your taste as he teases you with small licks and nips to your thighs right as you think that he’s about to give you what you want. He loves to see you panting with need, so he’ll tease you for a while before he finally lets you cum. As for receiving, blowjobs are one of his favorite ways to relax. He’ll groan and throw his head back, closing his eyes and enjoying every little thing that you do when you give him oral. He’d like it if you took your time with him, just so he can relax and destress for as long as he can.

P: Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)

Whenever he has the time to be properly intimate with you, he prefers a slow pace. It doesn’t necessarily have to be sensual (he would definitely be down for some slow giggly sex, too), but wants to take it slow so he can have the time to truly appreciate your body and memorize it in all of its glory. With how busy he is, it may be a while before he can have you again, so he wants to make sure that each session lasts long enough for the both of you to be satisfied for a least a little bit.

Q: Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He is so down for quickies. As stated in his ‘Jack Off’ section, he’s so busy working as a hero that is has gotten to the point that he has to schedule his intimate times with you just to make sure that they actually happen, and that greatly irritates him. Because of that, though, he gets really excited whenever you find some time that wasn’t on his schedule to be intimate with him, and quickies work great for that.

R: Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

If it wasn’t clear enough in his ‘Dirty Secret’, Hawks is all for taking risks. He kind of sees them as a challenge, to see how he can best use his wits to avoid being caught, and the added thrill is a nice bonus to that.

S: Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last?)

He tends to get fairly worn out after sex, so one round is about all he’s got, but it’s a fairly long round, especially when foreplay is factored, so you’ll be more than satisfied by the end of it.

T: Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Hawks is all for using sex toys. They’re great for foreplay, they’re great for teasing, hell, they’re great for just about everything in his opinion. He’ll just as gladly use them on you as he’ll let you use them on him, and the naughtier the toy, the better.

U: Unfair (How much they like to tease)

Hawks is a huge fucking tease in the bedroom, but believe it or not, he actually has a preference for being teased rather than being the teaser. Both work as good stress relievers for him, but being at your mercy and having you push him to the brink with teasing is the best stress relief in the world in his opinion.

V: Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

This man has no damn shame when it comes to volume. He’s naturally loud during sex and he knows it, and he doesn’t care. He refuses to hold himself back. He’s going to let you know how good you’re making him feel, and he’s going to do his damnedest to get you to be as loud as he is.

W: Wild Card (Random headcanon)

He loves to tease you with his feathers. Yes, he’ll use them for some sensation play during sex, and yes, he’ll send a few of them to lightly run over your exposed skin at random points while you two are home together, but he’s also not shy about sending one down your pants to bring you to orgasm before he’s even touched you. He’ll just be standing there, grinning like a fool the whole time, too. It may not have been the most convenient thing in the world for you to have an orgasm while you were figuring out what to make for dinner, but hey, an orgasm is an orgasm. It’s his way of making up for being busy all the time, and even if he can’t have a full session of sex with you, he can at least make sure that you stay satisfied, even if he does it a bit facetiously.

X: X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

His dick is slightly thinner than average (around 4 inches), but length-wise he’s a little above average at around 5 ¾ -6 inches. He also has a slight upwards curve that’s bound to hit all sorts of nice spots.

Y: Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is pretty high, which is kind of unfortunate since he doesn’t get to act on it that much with how busy he is. He could have sex multiple times every day if he had the opportunity to, but fate is not on his side in that matter, so he takes what he can whenever he can get it.

Z: ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

As mentioned in his ‘Aftercare’ and ‘Stamina’ sections, he gets a bit tired after sex and he prefers to just chill for a while afterwards. He will definitely fall asleep if he has the chance to, but if not, then he can begrudgingly get up to carry on with his day.

[studentville-struggles]

A Double Life

Chapter 5!!

A self-indulgent Daniel Ricciardo fic.

Summary: Returning to old passions results in the start of chaos and living a double life. We say we hate chaos, but the thrill is unlike anything else.

Words: 1,941

Masterlist // Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

F1 was no joke.  

PhD’s were no joke.

You were exhausted. Exhausted didn’t even begin to cover how you felt. Were you dying? Who even knew at this point.  

One monday your legs finally gave out as you were walking into university, collapsing from the exhaustion you were fighting. Thankfully you had just made it into your building, the porters quick to call a medic. You actually ended up having to take a couple of days off of lab work and go home and just spend some time sleeping and spending time with your parents. Your supervisors were so worried for your health and the stress you had been putting yourself under they pretty much banned you from the lab for a week.  

You still did the workouts you needed to and prepped for races from home. You just did everything on more than five hours sleep. The luxury. It was so damn needed.

Speaking on the phone to Lando one night, the two of you becoming closer friends since being team mates and him checking in more frequently since finding out about you collapsing, you had been joking about how nice sleep was. 

“I used to think that being ordinary was boring. Now I’d do anything for a 10 hour nap and a chippy.”

Your little exhaustion moment had scared you a little bit. You’d always managed to do everything. You could have two intense lives and work it. You had felt that for the last three years you mastered juggling a double life. Was it finally coming to crumble around you? Was this it, was the dream over?  

You wouldn’t allow it. You couldn’t. Youd fought so hard for this, to have your cake and eat it. It was never meant to be easy and you knew that, this was just one more thing to overcome. Once you had your PhD you would be able to live any life you wanted. You might even be able to sleep seven hours a night on the regular.  

You would make this double life work for a little longer, you had to.

Having re-evaluated routines and switching things up so that you could make the most of both lives whilst still being healthy, you were feeling confident, comfortable and it was growing with each race that passed. Sure, not all of the results were what you dreamed off; after all you were yet to tip Lewis off his pedestal, but you were getting there. Getting the car to do your bidding was the first half of the challenge. Now you just needed to do that, but better than every one else on the track.

The other thing to come out of your health scare; especially after some of the drivers have commented on your less deathly appearance was an interesting change in your friendship with a certain Australian.  

Sure, you had the big change from thinking he was rude to being caught smiling at his texts, to hanging out in Australia at the start of the season. That you had kind of seen coming; but this? This was unexpected, and you weren’t quite sure what to make of it currently.

After finding out about your little incident, Daniels’ entire energy changed. He was visibly concerned about you, whether you were better now, how you were doing getting everything under control for good. His reaction to discovering the in-depth extremeness of your routine having binged watched your show – he claimed it was a curious interest to occupy his flight but you knew it was to be nosey and you didn’t mind that – was even stranger He had effectively cornered you at the paddock in China with a written out list and spluttering of expletives with the general message of “what the fuck, no wonder you're exhausted.’.  

The frequency at which you two texted and chatted was steadily rising as your friendship bloomed but after his discovery of ‘the incident’, it had sky rocketed. Both in general conversation, but also in his concern for you overdoing things. He’s started to make a point, like Lewis often does, to ensure you take a bit of time for you and to relax; so movie and game nights are now a little thing you get when you meet up for a face to face catch up.

The vibes between the two of you were shifting ever so slightly and you weren’t entirely sure where there were setting themselves.

---

You were very lucky in that your family would often come to support you, especially your mum and dad. Albeit your mum couldn’t watch half of the races due to her fear that her little girl was going to be hurt, but she was there every chance she had.  

As the season progressed and you were getting some races closer to home, you felt it was about time to invite the main group of people who were yet to see this side of you. Given the intense patience and grace they had given to you, supporting you though everything and allowing your camera crew all access; it was time to invite your boss. Well your other boss. Your supervisor.

Getting back into the swing of things at work in the lab after the Spanish Grand Prix, you felt it was finally time to give back to your lab family.

“I’d like to take you to work next week, and maybe a few others once I check numbers.” Your supervisor knew what ‘work’ meant for you but with more and more people questioning your regular three day weeks, you were starting to feel like letting your two worlds collide a little more.  

“Where is work next week? Monaco?”  

“Yup. I’ll give my media team a ring and see how many we can take including hotels and go from there”  

“Including?!”  

“Full VIP, would be rude of me not to.”  

A short phone call later, with some rough numbers figured out, you had five full VIP passes at your disposal. Given you rarely have guests at Grand Prix’ they allowed a few extra tickets this time. As one would imagine with a free weekend in Monaco, the academic staff in your research group snapped up those tickets in no time. Of course, with the amount of time spent in your offices and labs, you were safely assuming three of the five had no idea what your job was, though were very curious as to how and why it was taking you to Monaco.  

Academic life was no joke. Everyone was busy, everyone had very little free time. Watching sports was only done by super fans really. There weren’t any motorsport super fans in your office and somehow both your show and driving career had still remained unquestioned. How that was true with the camera crew still following you around, you had no idea.  

You had sent out a rough, and very vague itinerary, reminding them to be ready to leave work at 6 pm on Wednesday, heading straight to the airport. You had also sent strict dress code instructions- the smarter end of smart casual, knowing that they would likely, if not definitely, be appearing on camera.  

With some of your team meeting you at the airport, ready to get your race weekend media started, the confusion of your university colleagues was growing. It peaked as they had you film a short clip to start the weekends media off, it was only a short Instagram story, post hair touch up, to say hi to fans.  

“Hey guys, just me taking over the Instagram stories! We’ve just arrived at the airport to head over to Monaco! Can’t wait to see you guys this weekend and I’ve even brought a few colleagues from the university so you’ll be seeing my two worlds collide as well! See you soon!” Waving at the camera, you cut the video. With all thumbs up from your team, you uploaded it to your team Instagram, views piling in almost immediately.  

“Rachel what the hell do you do?!”

“Oh you’ll see soon enough, I don’t want to ruin the surprise now.” You teased, surprisingly enjoying the suspense.  

Walking up to the private jet having gone through security with ease, the shock was only increasing, though you everyone was feeling very excited for the flight now they saw the plane. Things were fairly calm after this, the journey quick, smooth and you avoided giving too much away.  

Arriving at the hotel you sent everyone off to their rooms, giving timings for meeting the next morning. You would be leaving before them to start greeting the media and doing some press conferences before your track walks, and so had arranged for a few cars to be sent for transferring the rest over to the main hub. Once they were all happy with the plans, not that you’d given many details, merely timings, you could head to your room where Daniel had snuck over waiting to reunite.  

He had many complaints about spending the evening having your catch up in a hotel when he had a perfectly good home a few minutes away. At some point during the evening, after the food had been demolished, the words said and a crappy Netflix original on the tv, the two of you had fallen asleep. When you woke a couple of hours later, you were awkwardly hunched on the sofa still, somehow having entangled yourself with Daniels body.  

Realising that it was far too late to send Daniel home, you both needed sleep if you were to survive the media day, and you couldn’t send him on his way in the small hours of the morning. Trying not to wake him too harshly, you start untangling yourself from the mess of legs. With Daniel starting to stir, you grab his hand, wordlessly pulling him from the sofa, over to the hotel bed.  

Still in the silence the middle of the night brings, Daniel shed the majority of his clothing, slipping under the covers in only his underwear, with you following soon after as you quickly change into your sleepwear.  

For something so foreign in your friendship, the ease and comfort at which you snuggled together, falling asleep again under the covers, was almost unnerving. Almost. In your sleepy state, you couldn’t recognise that, only time would reveal that.  

--

Having snuck off to begin your media day trackside, you were eager to see your lab colleague's reaction to where they were. It was as you were heading back into McLarens hospitality that you, as well as the whole group, could see the full magnitude of this job and how it differed to the Rachel they were used to seeing in the office.  

“You’re a driver?”  Shock? Disbelief? You couldn’t quite tell but the reaction was  

“Yes”

“What the fuck? But you’re in the lab like 10 hours a day”

“Now you know why I don’t have time to get things done otherwise in my three-day weeks.”

Once the shock wore off, the excitement and initial questions had settled, you set the group up with timings for the day and let them wander round the paddock freely as you headed back to your meetings, promising to see them during the lunch break.  

Having your worlds united felt good. It felt as though some of the pressure you hadn’t realised was there from keeping them separate, was melting away.  Although the feeling that was beginning to bubble away every time you bumped into Daniel was very close to being a distraction.

You needed to drive; just get in the car and block everything else out. 

[coffeebeannate]

Taken from @werebearbearbar

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works (fics, art, edits, etc.) you’ve created this year and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world in  2020. If you don’t have five published works, that’s fine! Include ideas/drafts/whatever you like that you’ve worked on/thought about, and talk a little about them instead! Remember, this is all about self-love and positive enthusiasm, so fuck the rules if you need to. Have fun, and tag as many fellow creators as you like so they can share the love! <3

I started writing fic years and years ago. And have done so in other fandoms before taking a long hiatus from the writing world in general. I stuck with written roleplay only. For  what I assume to be around four or five years, I did not write a single fic. (I also wrote short stories in childhood, teen years and young adult years)

(I want to point out though that this absolutely does not negate roleplay writing, and that writing with another person, or in a group is a lesser form) My break from fanfic came with one of the worst periods of my mental and physical health, and everything I had written was purged from my Ao3 account in a single night.

I started writing for The Old Guard in August, and below, are the things I like a lot that I’ve written for it. To do this, I decided to use the criteria of ‘fics I like the most’ instead of what seems to be the most popular to read. For me, if I really love a piece of work, I recall the creative process fondly, and have lines and bits of dialogue I truly adore within it.

1. Precision Mission Fic. Gala. Post-Movie. Current Group (Nile, Andy, Joe, NIcky)

Rated  M (Mature) 4846 words

My second fic for the fandom that I published, but the first I actually conceptualized. This one is just..so special to me. I have phone notes typed at five am. I can recall the excitement as I was so eager to share this story and get it off the ground. I wanted to see this complete so bad. I loved nearly every second of writing it, and it’s always going to hold a special place in my heart as a result. There’s so much overdone clothing talk and I can only think of it with fondness. 

Excerpt:

None of them are comfortable. Except Joe, it seems.

Joe makes it look easy. Simplistic, even, judging by the way he effortlessly glides and charms his way through the expansive ball/congregating/entertaining room. Something that never failed to fascinate Nicky was the way Joe could integrate himself almost seamlessly into any scenario, situation, or environment. Neither Andy nor himself had that ability. Not when it came to cavorting, anyway. Nicky more quietly reserved, Andy lacking in the ability to care enough to fake it.

Nile seemed to be more in the middle. She did not appear overly comfortable with the mingling, but she had enough personal grace and adaptability to make it seem somewhat effortless to have a decent time.

All their eyes remained sharp on the surrounding area, awaiting the arrival of their target. And for all his schmoozing, Nicky knew Joe’s surveillance was tack-sharp, multitasking to a degree no one he was currently conversing with could have possibly noticed.

“You going to move at some point, or have you taken up permanent resident status here?” Nile asks, appearing at his side where Nicky has spent the last half-hour molded to the furthest left corner of the solid black bar. “I know you have an excellent view, but.”

Nicky snorted, though only Nile could actually tell, “Why waste a good opportunity?”, momentarily ceasing his Joe watching to stare back into the depths of his glass, which currently contained some horrifically shocking pink abomination, Nicky’s second drink, since he was letting the bar tender dictate them, too utterly distracted to care what was touching his lips, and curious with the way the bar tender had delighted in being given free reign to make whatever he desired.

To be fair, it didn’t taste that bad-something frighteningly sugary and weirdly noxious smelling, but it’s not exactly ‘crime against humanity’ levels of alcoholic nightmares.

--

2. Old

Post-movie. Current Group. (Andy, Nile, Joe, Nicky) Mortal Andy. Character study.

Rated T (Teen and Up Audiences), 2903 words.

My first attempt at Andy-centric writing. Andy is a character I consider a challenge to write, and that makes me want to write her more. This fic centers mostly around her and the others trying to come to terms with how much has happened, within day to day life and taking the comfort that they can in one another.

I really like this fic. A lot. Sure it’s short. Sure maybe not much happens, but Andy’s character fascinates me, as does her relationship with her family.

Excerpt:

Old.

Old

Old

So motherfucking old.

Someone is calling out to her, her hearing and senses long fine-tuned to knowing. It’s Nicky- she can easily pretend she can’t hear him, he knows when she doesn’t want to talk to anyone, after all.

She’s being petty, and she knows it’s unfair. That the nearly untouched plate and nights spent not sleeping gives them reason to be at her. But facing them with that fact feels about as ideal as jumping into a flaming volcano right about now. They’re just worried. It makes her stomach turn, sour and vicious. Venom in the gut, acid in the heart.

Said volcano would be kinder.

--

3. Spice it Up (Or Not)

Joe and Nicky. Pre-Movie. Fluffy Lovings

Rated: E (Explicit) 3030 words

This one was just fun. I am such a sucker for banting, and the most established of established relationships that Nicky and Joe have going on. This one is indeed not safe for work, and honestly, the opening paragraphs are what came first, and I actually had to build the story around it.

Something that I think makes this fic fun to me as well is that, just because something that sounded like a good idea fails, it doesn’t make it an ending. Healthy communication, knowing each other..it’s so blissful to think about.

Things aren’t always perfect, but that’s okay. And it’s not always a threat. Oh and because this is me, what was supposed to be fairly light hearted gets all sappy and reflective mid-way.

Excerpt:

He knows Nicky in every way. He knows his scent from battle, from sex, from showers and from sleep. He knows his eyes in darkness, in light, in dread, excitement and worry. He knows his grief, his love, his sadness, and adoration. Excitement, passion, fear, and pain.

He could count each tear that Nicky has shed, could recall each tone of his voice in every language they know. From the first he heard to the current. The sweet harmony of song and the rough gasp of drunk intoxication. He’s heard him yell, heard him scream. Heard his shouts and his cries.

He knows how Nicky tends to favour his left shoulder even though there’s no reason beyond psychological to do so. A spot Joe stabbed so long ago. So far back in another life. He knows how he likes to pause and do surveillance before they enter any new location. Knows he likes vehicles that move fast and has a fondness for roller coasters.

He’s seen those hands, so large and skilled break bone, wield a sword and cut vegetables and fruit. Seen them card through his hair, felt them map out each knot and ridge in his spine and ribs, felt them so deep inside himself he can taste it. Rolling into it. Demanding, needing.

“Yusuf.” Nicky’s not calling him back, Nicky’s just as far gone. So often they seem to share thoughts.

Nicky knows Joe in all ways and more. Knows that Joe still sometimes seems to speak ancient by-gone languages in his sleep. Knows that he tends to carry the strongest personal scent in the dead of night. That no shower, no soap, no life experience or battle has truly ever masked the delightful musk he has to himself. There could be a cologne out there that would modify it, and Nicky would bite and lick it away. Demanding and asking, why take this from me? How dare you try to alter what I know and love so furiously?

--

4. Touch Before Heart

Historical Kaysanova. Early Years. Pre-Movie. Getting to Know Eachother.

Rated E (Explicit) 5030 words

As is pretty obvious by now, I write a LOT of early years Kaysanova. A lot. I am addicted to it.

This one..I love it. This might be one of my favourite pieces of writing of all time. If I was doing these numbers strictly in order preference, then I’d put it as number one I bet.

I think the summary I made for it sums up well just how much I love it. And maybe why.

The first moment they’re able to have a bath, they resolutely do not look at each other. Picking opposite ends of the small stream bed, backs turned to one another. A strange show of both trust and distrust; their backs were exposed, but it was up to their tentative mutual agreement to not partake in the opportunity to stab each other for it.

The..idea that they had so much to learn, so much to understand. So much confusion, anger mistrust..I just really really adore this fic and I think I did a good  job with it.

Excerpt:

He curses in unison with Nicolò, both holding fast and steady as the thing finally rights itself, Nicolò letting out a slow, shaken breath of relief.

“Are you alright?” Yusuf asks, both to break the silence and mend the irritating gap they’ve created for themselves.

“Better. Thank you.”

Yusuf wants to scream.

He wants to grab Nicolò, shake him until he can do nothing but give him answers.

Why do you drive me to the brink of madness?

Why do I know your touch, but not your heart?

Why do you tempt me, consume me?

What does it mean?

Why are we here?

Why!?

It is an unfair desire; he’s hardly given the man any more clarity.

--

5. Curated

Post-Movie. Current Group (Nile, Andy, Joe, Nicky)

Rated G (General Audiences) 1807 words

Alright, I admit it, I had trouble picking number five. I picked Curated because it’s just..so fluffy. But it’s so sweet I always feel so sugary when I think of it. The softness that I tried to convey, and I think I succeeded.

Nile is another character that fascinates me, that  I just do not explore enough, and this is all the comforting goodness I could ever hope to create.

Excerpt: 

She’s grown used to the easy intimacy they all share, but the sight before her, Nicky’s eyes half-lidded, face a perfect serenity she rarely see’s on it, Joe lost, far-away in reciting but still wholly present, creates an odd, near-throbbing ache in her chest. Something powerful and raw. It’s hard to imagine that people who have been alive this long can be this content.

Everything they’ve seen, experienced and done. All the stories they’ve regaled her with. All the prep, the anxieties, the concerns, and curiosities. None of it seems to exist in these moments. Joe speaking in a language the world might think dead, the true master of softness within the room.

--

And there we have it! I have so much more I want to write, I have so much more I want to explore, and I thank you all for sharing in these journey’s with me. May there be more writing in our future!

[luminisvii]

anyway i’ve been playing three houses on maddening lately because i hate myself, and i also hated looking at tier lists that put some characters who are actually quite bad for high difficulty up top, i made my own tier list of suggested feth characters for if you do a maddening run. this is really just so i can scream about what characters i think are best (spoiler alert: it’s lysithea)

so, here we go, tell’s three houses tier list!

disclaimer: based on personal experience, not all characters have been used on maddening, but i have played the game like... eight times. on my ninth run. so i have some pretty decent data on majority of the characters. 

tier is determined by how easy a character is to use, how much investment they require, and stat growths. crests+relics also influence this, since people who can use relics effectively are better. the game tells me not to judge based on crests, but come on! 

lords are not included, jeritza is also not because he’s CF post skip exclusive, but come on, we all know where he’d place anyway

the real tier list is this: if you’re playing on normal or hard, literally anyone is fine. follow your heart. invest in who you like. on maddening, you unfortunately need to be a little more discerning. and sometimes, you just get rng screwed, even with the best, so rip lmao 

TOP TIER (FOR COOL KIDS ONLY)

-lysithea: the coolest kid, doesn’t need a bed time. obvious bc her spell list and stats and access to relic are great. also look at her. shes bappy. she says so herself in her support with cyril (the only valid cyril support) all jokes aside, she can go down the basic mage line and mow down anyone who comes within her insane range. she also does well as a valkyrie, but with the speed penalty, i don’t recommend her staying in the class for long. just get uncanny blow! then hades will never miss! 

-felix: he may be a shadow the hedgehog motherfucker but he has one important thing that shadow doesnt: crest of fraldarius. i guess shadow has a gun, though. felix is just straightforward gameplay baby. you send him at something and it dies. go crest boy go!

-mercedes: im legally obligated to put mercie in here because of her personal, her crest, and fortify. although restore is also super neat! miss mercie is just plain reliable as a healer. easily goes through the priest line to gremory.

-balthus: extremely helpful early game, doesn’t fall off later either. his personal skill of str/def +6 when below half health means he can either straightforwardly tank or just punch shit so hard it doesn’t have a chance to strike back. also gets a relic, healing focus, and a major crest that allows him to heal, so he’s a one man army. he does one thing really well and that’s use his fists to liquefy his opponents. also gets rally strength if you care about that. my favorite strategy with him is to let the damn poison strike archers knock his health down and then just go to town, combined with vantage for REAL fun. forget war monk, this guy should just go to war master

-sylvain: this little slut will join you if you’ve got boobs so he’s real handy to have around. plus he’s got some great qualities: flexible, strong, free relic, and maybe kinda hot i guess. you could make him a paladin, but you should give him a giant lizard. he can basically become any of the master classes with ease, although i would not recommend putting him into magic classes that much unless you wanna do a wholly mage sylvie build. will still perform just fine as a dark mage even without dedicated magery. but seriously, dragon

-petra: you want crit??? you got crit!!! this little lady can not only crit like hell but also dodge tank really well. i had fun making her a falcoknight once and just watching her line it all up and tear it all down. petra is reliable and stronk and also horrible to fight against so just. recruit her, please

-constance: entirely here because of bolting. for the low price of her reason being A you can nuke enemies from across the map. while you could make her the canon class of dark flier, i for one think the warlock line is better, because that’s four uses of bolting and even more if her crest activates. she also has a similar statline to lysithea and hits like a truck with other spells, and with bolting can supply long range support, so really, what’s not to love? the rest of her spells are good too. i go for gremory over dark flier bc while the mobility is great, x4 bolting is even better. 

PRETTY GOOD TIER

-ingrid: extremely reliable, only down here instead of in the cool kids category bc her strength kinda sucks. i love ingrid though! she’s got a gambit gimmick and a crest+relic! ingrid with the chalice is super funny and i highly recommend it. i watched her fucking OWN every single siege tome user like that

-ignatz: some will say he sucks. some would argue his utility as a debuffer and rallybot. i will argue this ungodly crit. ignatz is a very luck man, blessed with great opportunities and a base crit value beyond any other. the little man will strike you down in the name of the goddess before you even know what’s going on. with a little help his strength will match the others and if you slap as much crit up on him as possible then it’ll never end. ignatz could be a one man army if he could crit more than one person at once. unfortunately he’s stuck to one divine judgment at a time. you can either use his 55% luck growth and archer level dex to gamble on a high crit rate, or you can stack his personal with another hit +20 to basically never miss anything. if you play deer, this man is a must.

-hilda: the usual, a crest, a relic, good times, a nice personal, but also like. she slaps. in general. pretty sick with an axe but works nicely as almost any physical class (i haven’t tried sword, though) because she naturally goes down the warrior line she can get some real fun times going. or just give her a lizard! women love swarms of lizards. she is a delicate little flower who will end a motherfucker

-ferdinand: fairly reliable as a cavalier class, and comes with some natural dodge tanky capability and access to seteth’s spear of assal and ochain shield which make him restore health like crazy and his personal will stay on. also a counter attack block is nice! he’s got some nice combat arts too. just a pretty straightforward cavalier. good times

-seteth: and while we’re on the crest of cichol, seteth is gonna make sure you never raise a finger against him again. you won’t survive. the only prepromote i use. he has good base stats, good growths, and he just does really well at what he does! he may come in a little late but he’s strong as fuck and is shredded. i tend to favor him over ferdie for the cichol linked items, but also i’m biased towards this anxiety dad, so take that as you will

-marianne: she tends to get left out of the healer talks because like most of the deer, she’s kind of weird. i will make an argument for her. what she lacks in utility she makes up for sheer raw power. while her crest won’t be of much use until very late and even then her sword prowess is not what you should be using her for, her spell list is all high power and she also comes with easy access to silence, which can nicely stall for some time against powerful mage enemies. she also gets a heal to herself if she’s standing next to an animal since all her friends are horses. still kinda slow as most healers are and not as much of a res tank, but a formidable edition nonetheless. blutgang is a good pinch hitter relic as well

-caspar: like most gauntlet users, caspar is good at one thing: punching. he is just really good at it. he’s perfectly geared towards being a war master. and he’ll perform that very well. he gets healing focus as one of his arts, so he can run off on his own if he wants. solidly reliable, will work at just. punching. go short king!

-yuri: the man’s utility is unrivaled. he’d go top tier if it weren’t for the fact that he’s got unreliable strength/magic growths. he could go either way as a physical attacker or a mage, but he naturally fits well in the assassin class along with trickster, and even dancer if you like (i’m trying that and honestly the male dancer animation is so sad. like. why can’t you put as much energy into it as the women.) but this man can go. hes fast. he’ll fuck you up

-hubert: while not as hard hitting as lysithea, the man still fucks things up with dark magic like she does. he lacks her double crests but he makes up for it by still smacking people’s nuts clean off and with the added bonus of range and debuffs dark magic provides. even better, you can make him a dark mage/bishop! however points off because they won’t let me stack fiendish blow. love u vampire man!!! unfortunately locked to CF so rip.

NICE TIER: 

-lorenz: i adore him but hes a little unreliable as things go. in house, hes the better paladin than leonie, and his personal grants him a nice damage bonus with a battalion. lorenz shines as a dark knight the most, he has a heavy hitting spell list and if you really want to, thyrsus is technically his relic even though everyone puts it on lysithea! i really like him and he can perform really well but unfortunately like most of the deer he is Weird and this can put him in strange places with his growths. tis a cruel world, being a lorenz stan!

-dorothea: also suffers from strange statline. for some reason they’re pushing sword with her. honestly, because she’s outperformed by other mages, even on black eagles i tend to put her into dancer and kinda forget about her. she has quite a bit in heavy hitting spells and her personal skill grants a very nice mini heal to people around her, but honestly, i usually favor lysithea over her. she functions best as pure support but can still pull through on the offense. sadly, the competition is really rough.

-ashe: does his job, and does it well. not as heavy of a hitter as some of his fellow archers, but still good nonetheless, and has access to deadeye for extra range (although don’t count on it on maddening). his personal means he can unlock things no matter what class he’s in, so you can focus on others! i personally think that, you guessed it, he should get a giant lizard.

-annette: she does well, sadly outperformed by other house mages. functions as a rallybot and gets crusher if you care about that. i missed crusher completely in my first lions run, whoops, and then in my second one i had constance so uh. sorry, annette! she’s so very sweet, but her spell list has her down here.

-leonie: im hiding before the leonie stans get me. sure, like sylvain, she has his ability and shared flexibility for any class, but unlike sylvain she lacks power, a crest, and a relic. i see people keep arguing that she’s a massive damage dealer, but i honestly never see it. she falls off damage wise really quick, even if she’s got more than enough speed to deal with it. she’s basically just a lamer sylvain or ingrid without the crest abilities that those two have to make them stronger. what? the game keeps TELLING me crest = bad but as far as i can tell, all the best characters have one! on maddening GD, she’ll be good at first, but she’ll drop.

-dedue: i would rank this man higher since i simply adore him but he’s SUPER difficult for me to use. his defense is unrivaled, this man will flinch at nothing, but his speed is almost always shit and he tends to get nuked from orbit by mages. i love him, i really do, but man he can be a lot to manage. he does really well early game but can’t keep up. which is a shame, i really like him :(

-flayn: she has quite a bit of capability with rescue and fortify, and her major crest means her healing is even more potent. however she’s a little slow, extremely fragile, joins low leveled after you’ve already invested in a different healer, and is not very strong. she IS a res tank, though, and learns seal magic, which adds to her res tanking capability. she also synergizes with the caduceus staff, so she can be very self sufficient, and hit from farther away! flayn does very well. the major penalty is a lackluster spell list and significant investment buy in.

-hapi: she’s… weird. i like hapi quite a bit but she’s got it worse than lorenz in terms of stat growth. her personal ability makes her an extreme aggro target for monsters and she can’t even avoid their attacks, and the bonus damage it grants unfortunately isn’t better than fellow DLC mage constance, who hits harder just out of sheer momentum. for having a healing crest, she doesn’t have a particularly interesting white magic line. her dark magic grants her utility similar to hubert, but she’s slower and can’t quite strike like he does. sadly miss hapi has to be down here. id like to put her higher but boy did she struggle

-raphael: well, he’ll do his job. he’s only beat by caspar since caspar has a little bit better tools at his disposal, but they’re basically the same character. raph will do very good at punching the living shit out of things. starts off better than caspar, but unfortunately in my current run i have balthus so raph had to get benched

YOU CAN DO BETTER TIER

-bernadetta: she’ll work alright, but only with lots of attention, and her personal doesn’t seem to make up the difference. for a sniper she seems to have far less hit than her rivals in ashe and ignatz, especially since ignatz makes him more reliable. her crest doesn’t actually grant her much since it has such a low trigger rate and by the time it does work she probably already can double. also she gains no levels between pre and post skip which is hilarious but like. HELLO? ive also been told she has the worst starting stats. personally, i only use her on BE runs. i know she’s a popular character and a lot of people rank her highly for persecution complex and the fact that she learns both encloser and deadeye, but deadeye is unreliable in maddening and she’s a lot of work to keep up with the others.

-cyril: he can become a killer, he honestly does really well, but he starts so far behind you need to invest a significant amount into him. i don’t recall him having a particularly stellar combat art line either, but if you choose to put in all the work of catching the kid up, he will do well. but it’s not worth it most of the time. i use him on church route runs bc it feels right. on other runs, you’ll already have someone who fits his niche--the guy becomes a wyvern rider, and the likes of sylvain can do much better in this line.

-linhardt: kind of a shittier flayn, without fortify or rescue. lackluster spell list for both black and white, and terrible growths. he’ll do fine if you play eagles, but if you’re going to import a healer, mercie or flayn is the better option. 

-anna: oh lord, anna is difficult. her offensive stats are horrendous. flayn hits harder than her. with her unique stat line, inability to get supports, weakness in authority, and all around just odd set up, anna is not a reliable character and you should use yuri instead. they’ve basically got the same crest.

DIDN’T USE SO NO OPINION TIER: 

-hanneman

-manuela (heard she’s not good anyway)

-alois

-gilbert

-catherine

-shamir

(yes there’s a trend to this which is past FEs have trained me away from using prepromotes!)

and there we go! im still biased towards GD but the characters who do best are the ones who have a clear class line to follow and a statline that matches it. 

[somedrunkpirate]

In the dark we travel (Geraskier scifi au part 4)

Ao3 | Tumblr: part 1, part 2, part 3 | Rating: M | Hurt/Comfort

Teaser: 

As if Geralt had the intention to. He feels unbound. The light— he’d been in darkness so long that even though the emergency LED sting his eyes, the illumination itself is like a balm. The dark had made more space for visions, for unreality. In here, there is only the light, the water, and Jaskier.

In here, it almost seems possible to accept he’s being cared for. That this is allowed.

Chapter 4 

There are no guards.

The observation stops Geralt in his tracks momentarily— he gets a vague sense that this is important information. There should be a reason why there are no guards. Guards do not just suddenly up and disappear. That’s not their job description. Guarding can’t be just a sporadic activity, whenever you feel like it, because then things like this happen: someone stumbles upon a door, unguarded, and could just go ahead and walk in.

But the idea is so deliciously simple that Geralt goes right ahead and does it, any thoughts of mysterious de-guarding completely melted from his mind. He’s lost in a sensation of relief that he doesn’t have to deal with fighting right now, when he’s barely sure what is real and what isn’t.

He also knows, vaguely, that three nights without sleep shouldn’t make him this out of it, but it's easy to just blame it on the stench and not waste his precious time thinking about stuff. His bursts of clarity must be used efficiently, and now he’s going to use them to burst the door open to the restricted waste, level three.

Medical waste, that is what he needs. There must be something in there he can mix together into some semblance of a sleeping concoction. He doesn’t have all his supplies anymore, but he has some, and he has his memories of chemistry lessons and picking herbs in the gardens. Whatever he makes might kill the average humanoid, but hopefully it will just knock him out.

And there are no guards, so this should be easy.

He slips through the hallway quietly— ignores the whispers and the mutterings and the footsteps coming out of the labyrinth behind him. False, he thinks, even if Roach isn’t here to hear. The guards have a specific sound when they walk. Those Coalition-issued working boots. These steps— far in the distance, sound more like feet, or paws, naked on the floor.

Guards do not take off their shoes. Not in their job description.

Geralt stealths his way to the door. It probably has alarms on it, but he doesn’t really give a shit, so he makes a sign and Ard does the rest.

He isn’t sure if the alarms are off, or if he isn’t able to hear them in the waft of new smells that come towards him. In either case, he isn’t going to be able to last a long time, so he better get going and find what he needs.

The third level is much smaller, about the height of a normal room, for once, and yellow lines direct to different sections. It is fairly easy to find the right general area, but when Geralt arrives and runs his eyes along the long rows of boxes, he realises that he is in no state of mind to read the labels.

He’s stunned, for a second. Completely at a loss for what to do. Slowly, like something bubbling up from a thick, muddy swamp, he develops a vague idea of just grabbing a big thing, and filling it with other little things, and figuring what to do with them later.

But before he can even get to that first step, there are more sounds— footsteps again. But these ones have shoes. Or at least, one set of them does. The others are hooves, and they come with a sense of frustration and determination.

“Oh fuck,” Geralt says.

It is almost night, and he’d promised— he’d promised Jaskier. He’d wanted to sleep, and he’s trying to find a way. A way that doesn’t ruin everything.

Jaskier had been distracted for the day. That afternoon, the light in the window had finally disappeared. The week of the void had started. So, as promised, Jaskier had performed Craven Rose. It had lasted for the better part of the evening, and Geralt still hadn’t been able to sleep.

“Geralt!”

Geralt takes a reflexive step back at the sound. Bad choice. He’d been right about the ship going low on funding, because the slight push of his shoulder sends the whole rack into motion, rusted screws snapping at the joints, it lists to the side, and one, two, three objects fall off the shelves.

Geralt manages to dodge two.

Jaskier has just skidded to a halt in front of him when the third— the largest, tips over and covers Geralt completely in some sort of chemical goo.

It burns his hands, his shoulders, his neck.

And then, finally, blessedly, Geralt passes out.

Geralt comes to swinging. Swinging, as in, the movement. He blinks his eyes open and realises he’s been thrown over Roach’s back. He groans.

“Geralt?”

Jaskier is beside him at once. Geralt has to crane his head strangely to look up and see his face. He’s met with an expression artfully combining worry and utter exasperation.

“What the hell were you thinking?”

Geralt tries to say something, but the pressure of Roach’s back into his chest makes it hard to take a full breath. He lets himself slip off, landing on his feet only just. He’s lucky the tunnels here are barely 5 feet wide, because there is a wall behind him to catch him.

Jaskier makes an irritated noise and stalks around Roach, pointing a finger at him. “You are in no state to walk to the bathrooms, get back on Roach or I will—”

Geralt frowns at him, tunes out the rest of the threat as he tries to make sense of what Jaskier is saying. The however many minutes he’d been unconscious linger like a spirit boost in his body— he’s more in control of his senses than he’s been in a while, but Jaskier’s rapid fire reprimanding makes him feel slow and lost again, missing something. It’s not an unfamiliar feeling around Jaskier.

After a second, Geralt catches the source of his confusion and pulls at it. Finally able to speak, he asks, “Bathroom?”

Jaskier takes a very deliberate breath. “You’re a walking health hazard. You’re not gonna fight me on this.”

Geralt looks at his arms, legs, and has to acquiesce to the point. Whatever chemical he’s been doused in, it wasn’t strong enough to completely eat through his clothes. There are large areas that have been bleached, strange grey and white blobs among the dark fabric, but where his skin was covered, it was protected. The problem is the parts of him that were not.

His hands, for one. He’d held them up reflexively, trying to protect his face— mostly successful. Parts of his arms where he’d had his sleeves rolled up, and his neck where the goo slid down from where it landed on his shoulders. The back of his head is mostly left unblemished, his hair only a little burned at the ends.

For all Geralt has no desire for a walk of shame through the crowds of people, his pride has little priority in comparison of getting this fucking shit off of him as soon as possible.

Like hell he’s gonna be carried in there though.

Deciding that arguing the point would be more effort than it is worth, Geralt just starts walking.

“You goddamn bugfuck—” Jaskier seethes behind him.

Geralt sets his jaw. One foot, other foot. His hand stings as he drags it across the rough metal of the tunnel walls.

Jaskier keeps up easily with him. “You can’t honestly think you’re going to make it.”

“Survived worse,” Geralt grits out. It isn’t even a lie. This is nothing. Though he could do without the running commentary.

“I give you 30 seconds before you pass out again,” Jaskier says. “If you really want to walk in there, at least let me help— or Roach, if that's better. You won’t have a wall to lean on once we reach the hall.”

Geralt continues, forcing himself forward, but as the tunnel opens up, he has to concede to the argument.

He doesn’t want Roach anywhere near the crowd, and she can’t climb up those walkways anyway.

Once the hall is a handful of paces away, Geralt stills. He waits, leaning against the wall.

It takes only a few moments for Jaskier to take the hint. Without a word, Jaskier takes his arm and puts it over his shoulder. Geralt allows his weight to shift from his hand, still lingering on the wall, to Jaskier’s form. Jaskier takes it, surprisingly easily, and begins to walk at a steady pace.

It’s warm, comfortable. Quiet, for a little while.

Geralt tells Roach to go back to the containers, and not to worry.

She sends back a gentle impression of pressure, stability, warmth. She isn’t worried.

Geralt divorces himself from the thought. Doesn’t think about why.

It’s easy to be distracted. The closer they reach the light, the more eyes turn towards them, staring.

A different quiet envelops him. Not a kind one at all.

Conversation halts and they watch as the Ancienthunter enters their company for the first time, weakened, dirty. Pathetic.

Jaskier speaks up right when the weight of their eyes becomes almost unbearable.

“And this is why we don’t mess with the labyrinths, kids. Anything can fall out of those fucking drums when you least expect it.”

He says it lightly, but there is a tension beneath it that catches Geralt off-guard. Something he would’ve expected to be altered— covered, by the mod. Maybe it’s because he’s so close that he can hear the discrepancies. Or maybe Jaskier is distracted, isn’t using it as well as he normally is.

Regardless, the others don’t seem to hear it. His remark was both an acknowledgement of their staring, and an answer to the questions that motivated it. Now, the mystery solved to an extent, most are shaken into a reflex of manners— or any semblance of them they’ve been taught. Slowly conversation picks back up again, though there is more murmuring than not. Geralt could bet what the topic is.

“Corron, could you fly up and run the bath? We’re gonna need the big guns for this.”

The tall black and white feathered Decalon nods, already having wandered up to them, and lifts off with two big flaps of his wings. In the limited space, it is more like a long leap than flying, as he easily crests the edge of the highest walkway and slips into a door.

Geralt’s eyes trace from the apparent end goal down the four long angled sections of walkway that criss-cross diagonally against the wall. At this point, the journey seems like a special form of torture, but with an intense awareness of the eyes still watching behind him, Geralt gathers the last of his energy and sets forth, back straightened and face blank.

The trek feels all too similar to those first few days in Zevos, trying to trace some beast or another in the pale deserts of Bacovas. The region is merciless not only in its heat but in the heaviness of its air. Not humid, just heavy, every step taking that much more effort. Geralt hadn’t had the interest to find out whether it was biological, cheminal, gravity, or whatever else, but the result had been exhausting.

It had felt good— earned. Life had been too easy for a while there. It had felt fitting to be in a place where it took too much effort to run.

And now, he can’t run from this either— the stares, the quiet encouragement of Jaskier’s voice. The pull of his mod is back again, lulling him into an almost meditative state. He barely feels the burns anymore. The air is heavy, the lights are too bright, but somewhere, in his mind, he’s floating. Light.

“You’re almost there, Geralt, come on. You’re going to feel much better with all this off you.”

He’s— they’ve stopped walking. They’re in a room with showerheads mounted on the walls but in the corner, below two of them, lies a large tub.

Jaskier is talking still, his voice like the water, an even stream of warmth.

“Before you ask, yes, we found it in the Piles, and yes, we cleaned it thoroughly, and yes, you are not allowed to argue with me.”

As if Geralt had the intention to. He feels unbound. The light— he’d been in darkness so long that even though the emergency LED sting his eyes, the illumination itself is like a balm. The dark had made more space for visions, for unreality. In here, there is only the light, the water, and Jaskier.

In here, it almost seems possible to accept he’s being cared for. That this is allowed.

So Geralt doesn’t protest, doesn’t speak as Jaskier helps him out of his clothing. There is no room for humiliation in the warm fog that fills the room in white clouds. As Geralt sinks into the tub, Jaskier is muttering under his breath, throwing the clothes underneath another shower stream, saying “— about 90% chance they cannot be saved, though if you were to wear them again you might restart a bleached leather look once more. It’s been a few decades since that was in vogue.”

He pratters on and on, and Geralt lets it come over him. It is strangely soothing to know he isn’t alone.

There, enveloped in warmth, light and companionship, Geralt finally, finally, falls asleep.

“What am I going to do with you?”

Geralt blinks, becomes aware of his surroundings one sense at the time. He hears the voice— Jaskier, the shuffling of feet on tiles. He feels water, lukewarm around his body, and then his hands and arms, the tell-tale tugging and twitching of his skin that comes with augmented healing. He smells, lavender and thyme, all around him but especially in his hair.

And then he sees— Jaskier, half covered in fog, half uncovered of clothes, face in tense lines but dissolving at once when their eyes meet.

“You’re awake, I see,” he says, smiling. “I’d started to wonder whether I would have to drag you out to save you from dissolving.”

Geralt shifts in position and groans, his muscles aching from holding in a strange position for too long. “How long?”

“You got a good four hours in. Don’t worry, I haven’t been staring at you for that whole time. When I was sure you wouldn’t drown yourself, I checked in every once in a while. Threw in some stuff.” Jaskier holds up a little glass jar and dips in his fingers, “You know, bath salts, oils. It wouldn’t do just to have to rot in your own chemical waste water for the whole duration. Would kind of defeat the purpose of all this.”

As if to punctuate his sentence, he flicks his wrist and throws in a pinch of something shimmery.

Geralt presses his lips together. “My hair?”

Jaskier’s smile doesn’t let off, but his eyes flicker away for a second. “I— you.” He sighs. “You were out cold but kept your head above water. I didn’t know if the goo was on your head, so I rinsed it a little. Just some soap and water, all above board, I promise.”

Geralt has to fight the urge to curl up into himself. How could he have let himself be so defenseless? He trusts his body to wake at any irregular sensation, and to think he slept through someone touching him.

Jaskier must see something in his face, because his smile disappears and his hand goes to reach out, but then stops mid way, hesitant. “I’m sorry. I truly didn’t intend—” He takes a breath. “I wasn’t sure what else to do.”

You could have left me alone.

But Geralt knows that isn’t fair. He would have— he would have survived this, if it hadn’t been for Jaskier. But it would have been much more painful, and Geralt is so tired. Jaskier has had ample opportunity to hurt him before. He’s had the majority of the crowd under his control from the beginning. It would only take a few choice words to turn everyone against him. But he hasn’t done that. He’s only ever been kind. And while Geralt can’t let himself trust that— cannot be as naive to think that there isn’t something, some reason, why Jaskier is doing all this — he also can’t convince himself that Jaskier would have used his vulnerability in malicious ways.

Everything he’s been doing so far is to prevent Geralt from being that— to help him recover. If there is anyone malicious to his well being, it is Geralt himself.

And the speech mod could falsify care, warmth and earnesty. But it doesn’t affect the eyes, or— or a hand.

A hand, trembling slightly, reached out towards him before landing on the edge of a tub.

Jaskier is watching him still, searching. Waiting.

“I never asked,” Geralt ends up saying, but it isn’t— defensive, this time. His voice comes soft, low, almost confused. “You never had to—”

To care. To do this, to do any of this.

Relief so often comes with a laugh, these days. Jaskier chuckles and shakes his head. “And yet, here we are.”

Here they are, in a Garbagecraft rocketing through space. In a bathroom with rusty showerheads and orange emergency lighting.

In a moment of respite.

“Come,” Jaskier says, projecting calm. Geralt can hear what's underneath it. The hesitance, the worry, and the exhaustion too, of another kind. It’s a gift. “Let’s get you out of here and into a bunk.”

Geralt huffs, but takes his hand, allows himself to be pulled by more than a voice.

Allows himself to be led.

Allows himself, for just another moment, to be cared for.

He’s taken risks before. He’s done dangerous and reckless things and did not have one thought for the consequences.

But somehow, following Jaskier seems to be the greatest.

And for a moment, Geralt doesn’t have it in him to regret it.

[marjiandco]

Prompt #30: Splinter

warnings: bad fathers, dark conversations. A continuation of prompt #29 

Where...

Lights were strewn about in no discernible reason, blotting in and out of his consciousness. He was vaguely aware he was moving, as shadowy blobs pass by. Some even talked.

Where am I?

His thoughts were stronger now, if still muddled. He blinked, his lids heavy as he stared down. His wrists were bound in front of him, they felt rough and sticky. He slammed his head back harder than he meant, the weight of it too much as his hair covered his eyes. There was cloth around his dry mouth but he didn't seem to care too much, only that it was there.  Feeling slipped away from him and he closed his eyes.

When he awoke this time it was with a sharp clarity. He squinted his eyes as if the raging headache would disappear if he squashed his face enough. The lights he saw before was sunlight passing through trees, the 'talking' the rumble of the chocobo carriage over a rocky dirt road. He twisted around and groaned. His stomach was sore but he still can't remember from what.

“So you're awake then? That was fast.”

Raiku tilted his head back so far it hit the floor, his heart pounding hard against his chest. Over the lip of the carriage he could see pale blonde hair and long pointed miqo'te ears.

“Prul,” he said, his voice muffled.

The man driving shrugged his shoulders and the sounds of indignant chocobo chatter announced the stop of the carriage. Prul's head disappears and the crunch of gravel underfoot went around the carriage. Raiku rolled over onto his stomach and got onto his knees, glancing wildly around. Judging from the trees he's somewhere in the black shroud. That's good, he might be familiar with the area. He stumbled to his feet and took a few short steps towards the edge of the carriage, determined to roll himself over the opposite end of the footsteps. He shrugged a leg over, putting his weight on his bound wrists to pull his other leg over.

“Oh no you don't”

Prul grabbed the collar of Raiku's shirt and yanked him back onto the floor, rolling him over onto his back and pressed a foot down on Raiku's stomach to hold him still. Raiku wriggled beneath him, grabbing Prul's ankle in both hands but quickly released him when a sharp dagger was pointed between his eyes.

“I know how fast you little bastards can be, deceptively fast.”

Prul moved the dagger to under Raiku's throat, who leaned back into the floor as if he could somehow disappear beneath it. Raiku's nostrils flared as he tried to get enough air for his beating heart. He layed his arms across his chest and neck protectively. When Prul seemed satisfied enough, he put the dagger back into his boot.

What do you want Raiku said, again his words muffled but his captor seemed to get the general idea.

Prul wrapped his fingers in Raiku's hair, his golden eyes staring at it in interest as he started to stroke through it.

“You know I've always wondered what your hair would feel like. It's so different from hers; maybe a little bit better. It's so soft. Like feathers on a bird.”

Goosebumps raced across Raiku's body everytime Prul's fingers touched his scalp. No wonder Marji acted the way she did around him.

Don't touch me you fucking creep! Raiku shouted as best he could. Prul gave him a smile that didn't reach his eyes and as Raiku's heart dropped into his stomach Prul grabbed his hair in a hard grasp, slowly lifting him up towards Prul's face while his foot still held him down at the middle.

“I'm not going to eat you; I was just curious.” Prul turned his head hard to the side and kissed him on his exposed neck, his fangs dragging momentarily against his skin. He laughed to himself as Raiku stretched his arms awkwardly to try and push him away with his bound hands.

Revulsion and anger glitttered Raiku's eyes with hot tears and he blinked furiously to hide it.

“Like I said, I'm not going to eat you. You're father would he'd pay me less if you're harmed.”

Raiku's rapid breathing stopped for a moment. Dad?

“And don't worry kid, I'll mend that little flower blooming on your stomach before we get there.”

Huh?

Prul moved his foot and grabbed both of Raiku's wrists in one hand and pushed it to the side and lifted his shirt. Raiku shuddered at the sight of a deeply purple and blue mark covering his right side. Prul let go of his shirt as he moved around to pick Raiku up by the armpits and dragged him back towards the middle of the carriage.

“You might be a liitttle allergic to sleeping spells.” Prul brushed his fingers over Raiku's side who, unable to do much else, sucked his stomach in. “Nothing a little healing wouldn't fix, but, we'll have to do it again.” He pursed his lips in mock sympathy.

He moved away from Raiku, pulling out a small staff from behind him as Raiku aimed a kick at the man. He flailed about as a burst of pink clouded over his chest and he screeched at the sudden burning sensation before quickly blacking out.

The next time Raiku awoke it was in a familiar sight. A large room with a four poster bed and posters littering the wall greeted him. Faces of gladiators with snarling mouths, an adventurers in need advertisements, and even a young faces Marji, fresh after her battle with ifrit in black and white. A window was open with a warm breeze lifting thin white curtains. soft sheets enveloped him beneath an expensive comforter. He lifted himself onto his elbows, sinking into the pillow beneath him. He was back in his parent's house, inside of his room.

He moved the blankets off of him, twisting his mouth when he saw he wasn't in his original clothes before pulling up his shirt. The bastard was right; there were no markings on him, just his own freckled skin. He lowered his shirt and touched his neck where Prul had kissed him. He felt so humiliated, unable to do anything to stop him. He doesn't even remember how he was captured but it must have been so quick, so easy. He'll keep his guard up next time. Be more wary of the darker corners of the world.

He got out of his old bed, not bothering to put things back and went over to his walnut wooden drawers, complete with golden handles for each opening. He opened them and laughed to himself; there's still his old clothes in there, neatly pressed as if they'd washed them yesterday. He picked out a pair of brown pants and a yellow top, and in another his old school shoes, shining so brightly he wondered if he'd go blind. He quickly changed and went over to the window, but his escape won't be so easy a second time; they cut down the tree that was next to his room, rather roughly by the look of it.

There was a soft knock at his door followed by it opening in a smooth motion. Raiku stiffened at the sight of an unfamiliar face. That's no the usual manservant who'd wake him.

“Sir, your father requests you meet him downstairs when it conveniences you.” He wasn't looking at Raiku in the eyes as he bowed.

“I'll come now.” Raiku said. Might as well get this over with, and ask him some, strongly, why in the seven hells he'd hire a man like Prul.

The interior of his parents mansion was as he remembered: gaudy and large. The height of the rooms are big enough to make a Roegadyn feel comfortable let alone a lalafellin family. Though they were fairly tall for their race it felt ridiculous to him to have such vaunted ceilings with their races size fixings. He always thought it made them look like kids playing house rather than the grandness his parents desired. Portraits lined the upstairs hallway with faces of his extended family. Well, his father's side mostly; there weren't many portraits done of his mother's side. At the end near the staircase had his face in it. Even the painter couldn't hide how miserable he looked, at least, that's how Raiku could see it. He wasn't smiling, and his eyes were devoid of warmth, looking off to the left as if begging to be anywhere but stuck in time.

You're out now. He told himself in his head as he descended the stairs with the manservant.

Down in the parlor the floors were a gleaming marble, scrubbed smooth of any embellishments. The couches and seats seemed tiny in comparison to how tall the room felt, a suffocating amount of decorations littering the room to fill the void. Everything shiny, everything untouched except by time. Nearby one of the armchairs was his father, standing as he always did when he was angry: with a cup of tea and his glasses low on his nose. Raiku rolled his eyes; his father never changes, always hiding his feelings by focusing on something else. The only thing he could tell was different is there was more salt than pepper in his charcoal hair, his mustache bushier than Raiku remembers.

“Hey dad.” Raiku said.

“Sit.” his father responded.

“Yes sir.” Raiku maliciously complied, flopping onto one of the couches, one leg dangling down the edge and the other wrapped around the top. He scrapped his shoes across the cushions as he leaned back against the armrest. Raiku smiled, hoping to goad his father but Raido Yomundo made no indication of his annoyance.

“You have-”

“Why” Raiku said loudly, drowning out his father. “on this entire continent, no this entire planet, did you pick that guy to pick me up?”

His father flicked his eyes at him before turning around to look out an overlarge window, to the golden streets of Ul'dah.

“He came highly recommended, and he was the better option of the rough bounty hunters that bothered our servants for work.” He looked Raiku up and down, his disdain palpable enough that Raiku righted himself on the couch. “I do not see anything amiss with you.”

Raiku fiddled with his hands, not entirely unscathed from his encounter. He knew better than to argue about results with his father.

“He did such a fine job I'll continue to utilize his services, for the time being.”

Raiku's head snapped up as he glared at the man. “You can't be fucking serious.”

“Raiku Honaku you know better than to speak that way to me.” His father started to yell but shut his jaw quickly, taking a moment to collect himself. “I'm...sorry for my outburst. I'm employing him until we can come to some sort of agreement.”

Raiku rolled his eyes and laughed bitterly. “Ah, so you're keeping me prisoner until I turn into a good little worker bee again, is that it?”

“Raiku Honaku-”

“Raiku. I just go by my first half now dad.” He spit.

“You can renounce your true name but that won't stop you being a part of our family. I'm not sure who put these ideas in your head but we're not bad people. We want your company again son. We worry about the dangers you're being put into. Since you ran off after that girl we've heard nothing from you.”

“I ran off to become my own man, she was just the catalyst.”

“Son, I know you.”

Raiku scoffs but his father pretends not to hear.

“You were always a smart boy, sensitive to the needs of others. We heard how kind you were with the servants, and in school you were praised by your tutors, when you did your work. Despite this, you are susceptible to influences, as we all are. Maybe more so. The person I can see now, I'm sorry to say, is the result of bad characters. You started acting out ever since you started reading the papers on this girls exploits, and do you really know her? She has no past, no relations or connections anywhere. How can a person like that hope to have a future, least of all with you?”

Raiku narrowed his eyes and stood up. “Maybe I should just take my chances with the psychopath you hired. Anything is better than to sit here and listen to you acting like you know me.”

“Raiku Honaku I'm not trying to pick a fight with you.”

“Oh really? Belittling me isn't starting a fight? Would you like me to kiss your boots instead?”

His father put his tea cup down onto a silver table tray.

“Listen to me, I do not guarantee you will come out unharmed with your next interaction with my hire.” his father said darkly.

Raiku looked between his fathers eyes, but there was no indication of a bluff. He took a step back. “Does mom know about this?”

“As your father I don't want to see you get hurt,” Raido Yomundo said, ignoring the question “but unruly children tend to need a firmer hand to get them to sit still.” He waited to see if Raiku would interrupt him again. “Now, again, I apologize for being firm with you. Whether or not your actions were your own until this point is irrelevant. What will happen from this day forward is based on your choices.

“My hire will watch the estate, checking to make sure you haven't attempted an escape during negotiations. This is only a temporary measure; I am not keeping you here against your will but to hear your families concerns. No one else knows I've tracked you down, and tonight we will hold a party for your return. This is only to have us all be able to chat together, without hard conversations. Something I'm sure your mother would like very much. Afterwords, you and I will talk about your actions in depth, and see how we can move forward hand in hand. Raiku Honaku I don't want to lose you as a son. Even I can come to terms with some of your lifestyle I only want a few things any father would want. So, what do you say?”

Raiku stared at his father with new eyes. The man before him, who he used to believe was foolish and neglectful was a shrewd little snake. His skin crawled as the image of a cage snapped shut around him, and like a wild animal Raiku wondered if he should gnaw through his own arm to escape.  He wanted to. He wished he could run as fast as he could, to dive out of the room and fling open the front gates and disappear into the crowd. The thought of running into Prul again, failing and still having to be in this prison with his father made his legs wobble. He shook his fathers hand before retiring back to his room. He'll stay for the circus, to agree to whatever he needs to get out of this house.

After that? He'll never look back. No matter what his estranged father said, he's permanently splintered their bond.

[mimiorzea]

4, 9, 12, 13, 22, 23, 29, 33 for disaster pirate (3/3)

(in reference to [this ask meme]!)

4) Who is someone they’ve hurt?

who hasn't he tho

while i can't give an exhaustive list, i think the pirate crew that looked after him from mid-childhood to at least his mid-teens or so was probably pretty hurt by the events that took place. my impression is that something happened that accidentally triggered Vhox's feral state, and he killed someone he absolutely did not mean to in the crossfire, which caused all sorts of uproar amidst the crew (which was thereafter divided on their perspectives of Vhox / what they should do in the aftermath), and Vhox cut ties with all of them in the process of bailing -- even those people who he had formed genuine bonds with and who wanted to support him in the fallout. Vhox refused to let them do so, too afraid of the prospect of reaching back out only for something else to go wrong, because emotional investment is scary and fuck all them, anyway, #yolo, he’s fine on his own. it has nothing at all to do with the fact that the entire thing aggravated all of Vhox's fears of abandonment and being a dangerous monster in all of the worst ways. nope.

beyond that, this boy tends to hurt a lot of people in his proximity without necessarily meaning to, so it's likely that Rin suffers a lot for being tied to him, too -- but at least that's something that he ends up trying to work on. he plays best with people he feels like he can't hurt, for some reason or another. Charlotte works well for this, because she's connected to him in a way he can't deny or really run from (as his blood sister), she's got the same problem he's got going on with the feral anomaly, and she's also a strong fighter in her own right, before one considers that she's got the thick skin and experience to recognize a lot of Vhox's shit before Vhox himself might.

9) What is something that would break them emotionally?

accidentally killing someone he really cares about. (i mean, that would probably break most people, but it’s a very present possibility in his mind.) he's so afraid of doing this that he's already more or less sequestered himself away from people beyond very surface-level relationships, so killing someone like Rin would probably push him so far off the deep end that he would either submit to whatever his blood family wants for him (bad news), or completely abandon any future prospect of emotional investment in people while simultaneously discarding his moral compass (also bad news). in the latter case, essentially he would get so stuck in the idea that he is a monster and destined to hurt people that he would stop attempting to moderate his behavior to avoid doing that, thus doing absolutely whatever reckless, harmful, and hedonistic shit he wanted until he either killed himself by "unfortunate happenstance" or was killed by someone else.

12) What is the fastest way to upset them?

see previous question for an extreme case, see following question for a less extreme case. outside of those two situations, some other things that would probably upset him:

obviously wealthy people looking down their nose at or otherwise mistreating less fortunate individuals. bonus points if they were at all capable of helping said less fortunate individuals instead. seeing someone who is obviously struggling and in need of help try to steal food at the market or lift some gil off of a rich merchant, only to be caught and dragged off by the Yellowjackets, really bothers him in a bad way. encountering the mere suggestion of child neglect also upsets him (even if that just amounts to a kid being left unattended on the street). these are both sore spots because they hit close to home, so to speak.

people (most especially authority / law enforcement) who try to control or tell him what he can’t do also rub him the wrong way, although “upset” in this case looks more like becoming suddenly very argumentative / intentionally inflammatory with them, a lot of the time, unless it’s a situation where Vhox would quickly be in over his head for not keeping his mouth shut (and, admittedly, sometimes even then). he has a fairly childish knee-jerk reaction to people treating him negatively to give them even less reason to like him, possibly as an unconscious mechanism to soften the blow of the rejection.

13) What is something that makes them uncomfortable?

talking about gushy uwu feelsy stuff is one thing. he's also not great at commiserating about trauma. if his ever comes up, he's likely to be playing it off with humor or otherwise talking pretty flippantly about it, and if someone else talks to him about theirs, the best they're likely to get is an underwhelming "that's rough, buddy" sort of response. it's not even that he outright doesn't care -- he's just really uncomfortable processing those things, and rolling up his sleeves to have a deep heart-to-heart is a lot more emotionally taxing than having a morbid laugh and moving on to something else.

he's sort of uncomfortable around kids, too. he likes (some of) them and thinks they're cute, but there's always a part of him that's worried that he's going to fuck a kid up somehow, either by saying or doing something wrong, or, gods forbid, something happens to trigger his feral anomaly and he hurts them. that's one of his worst fears.

22) How indecisive are they?

he's very much a "do shit first, ask questions later" kind of guy, so all in all he's pretty decisive -- at least in the moment. if you start asking him to plan things, or where he thinks he's gonna be in 10 years (the answer: facedown in a gutter), etc. then he might give you an answer, but it's liable to change at a moment's notice, so don't put too much stock in it.

23) What do they want most in life?

if you asked him, he'd probably tell you he wants the freedom to do whatever he wants whenever he wants to. part of him is always hung up on the idea of a lucrative job that will pay him so much money that he doesn't have to worry about not having enough for a place to sleep or for a good gourmet meal or whatever else strikes his fancy in a given moment; unfortunately, he's not very wise with money, so even when he does get a moderate chunk of it he can end up spending it all on an evening of lavish entertainment and a lot of booze. he's gotten better at this over time, because experience has taught him that being completely, utterly broke generally leads to an empty stomach and no roof over your head, which is not fun.

the truth is that he needs, and in his heart of hearts wants, stability. he's been absent stability for much of his life (whether that mean stable relationships, stable employment, housing, etc.), and a part of him sorely desires that, even if he's likewise afraid of the idea of being emotionally tied to someone he might hurt (thanks to that pesky "feral" genetic anomaly) or someone who has the power to hurt or abandon him.

29) What do they do to relax?

smoke fogweed, drink alcohol

Vhox is the sort who finds the (calmer) ocean soothing, be it listening to the waves crashing on the shore or lying on a dock that gets rocked by the waves a little. it's an easy shortcut to relaxing him.

33) Do they have a signature accessory?

do weapons count? Vhox is highly uncomfortable without some kind of weapon on his person, be it a gun or at least one knife. every other feature of his attire would be subject to change, i think; he can rotate through clothing surprisingly quickly as a result of damaging it during jobs or whatever other nonsense he gets up to, and although i can see him owning some other accessories at times (necklaces, etc.) it would rarely be anything he’s particularly attached to, and so would be willing to take it off and sell it if he needed a little extra gil.