#i do my best but i can never get past the hurdle of finding my own art of any form enjoyable

[fstbmp-a]

The funniest part is that I don't really like my own writing--

but yeah Moon's writing fucks severely post now

[dailyadventureprompts]

What’s fasinating about the d&d movie is that it is all the fun of d&d removed from the rigid restraints of the the clunky game system: Thrills and laughs and hairbrained schemes minus the minutia of needless rolls or waiting for your turn in initiative to circle around. Part of this is idealization, but as someone who’s obsessed with making my favorite game system the most fun possible I can’t help but draw some comparisons.

Combat: Holga’s fight scenes were a highlight of the film for me, displaying a huge amount of kinetic creativity as she pinballed between different combatants swapping out weapons, bouncing off the surrounding terrain . This is a far, far cry from how being a fighter plays out at the table, as most martial characters are focused into doing just one type of attack as good as they can because it’s their only reliable contribution to combat. Try to model Holga’s fights in game and you’d be caught in a boring slog of dealing 1d4+STR damage to a bunch of guards whittling away at their hitpoint pools, a far cry from the lighting quick flury of smashing, bashing, and flips that make her the film’s action setpiece.  

What d&d needs is a system for combat that exists alongside the traditional damage/HP paradigm: an additional layer of complexity for martial characters that encourages tactical thinking and lets those who do their damage up close feel just as cool and as clutch as casters. My mind’s already whirling thinking up something that revolves around stuns, suckerpunches, and positioning, so expect it later this week. 

Powercreep: This might be subjective but I find it fascinating that the official stats put out for the party has them hovering around level 16, a point in character progression  a)that  most characters never get to b) by which the game’s difficulty systems have begun to break down. I suspect this was done in order to keep their on-screen abilities in line with how they are in the base rules, but I can’t help but feel like its odd for the “idedalized” dnd experiance to be playing around with toys that most groups will never get their hands on. 

In my experience d&d is on a sliding scale of stakes V Shenanigans, with the exact ballance evolving over the course of a campaign:  Your group starts out as a bunch of dumbfucks and at some point while you’re making  making absolute fools out of yourselves you become a found family just in time for the consequences of your actions to circle back around and threaten the realm. First the characters start caring about eachother, then they care about the world, then they have to save that world. Level 16 is, for me, distinctly in “save the world” territory, despite the fact that the HaT crew are clearly still figuring out who they are and what they care about.  It makes me wish D&D was more free with its shenanigan enabling magic/items/class features at lower levels to help fuel these kinds of antics.  

Attunement: Perhaps the best “ oh I’m totally going to steal this” moment came from Simon’s attempt to attune to the helm of disjunction. Turning what was otherwise a rote game mechanic into an oppertunity for character growth was genius on behalf of the writers, though one I’d only really employ with items that were as necessary for my plots as the helm was for the heist. Just like Simon’s major flaw was self doubt, I could easily see delicious storytelling potential in throwing up other emotional hurdles depending on the situation: A hero’s sword refusing to attune to the haunted survivor until they’ve come to terms with what they’ve done, an otherwise altruistic character being forced to admit their sin and self interest by an evil-aligned artifact. 

Over all, I really enjoyed the movie, though paradoxically It didn’t hook me as much because for me one of the biggest charms of fantasy is the feeling of discoverying a new world, and I’ve been living the d&d world for the past 20 years so it didn’t come of as wild and magical as it could have been, having hewn so close to established d&d material. 

[shunin-gumis]

Designs of Happiness - Track A09

L4mps Main Story Translation

Title: HAMA Tours Party

Characters: Nagi, Yodaka, Kafka, Renga, Liguang

Summary: A toast is raised for finding tourism ward mayors for all 18 wards of HAMA. Nagi is nowhere to be found as the leaders gather… 

Thank you aca @463ce6 and jes @arcanecrayonn for proofing! And thank you Sou @/716chr for helping me with Chihiro's dialogues!

Location: HAMA House - Living room

Kafka: Now, I’d like to start this party off with a toast. I am Kafka Oguro, president and CEO of HAMA Tours.

Kafka: For the sake of reviving HAMA as a designated tourism ward, we have been searching far and wide the past few months for personnel who share that same dream…

Kafka: Finally, we’ve accomplished one of our goals: To instate mayors for all 18 wards of HAMA.

Kafka: I would first like to thank all the fellow staff who took a bet on me– Thank you, truly. We’ve gone through a lot to get here.

Momiji: …..

Yachiyo: *ugly sobbing* We really went through a lot! I think I’m gonna cry…!

Kafka: Morning, noon and evening— It was never straightforward for us. The only reason we got through it all is because each and every one of you tapped into the potential you hold, as fellow human beings.

Kafka: —The Night Team has only just been formed, but thanks to the Chief and Daniel-san, I believe we’ve gathered the best possible additions to accomplish our dream.

Kafka: Toi of “Fortune-Teller’s Parlor: Angel Eye,” Yodaka of “Ten Nights of Dreams BAR,” Netaro of “Cafe369,” and finally… Nagi of “Flower Laundry.” I’d like to formally welcome all of you once again.

Nagi: …..

Yodaka: Glad to be here.

Toi: *sigh* …Will I truly be able to find Ani-sama…?

Kiroku: …!

Kiroku: (Huh, it’s Toi-kun… But where’s Ryui-kun then…?)

Chihiro: My-oh-my~? Ain’t that the same cutie who came to Chii’s last meet-and-greet~?

Raito: ….. 

Chihiro: Hm? Raitin, what’s wrong?

Raito: No, it’s nothing… 

Kafka: After the Night Team holds their First Tour, I’m sure we’ll be able to overcome the hurdle of getting 20 million tourists to visit HAMA.

Kafka: …I give my heartfelt welcome to all 18 ward mayors gathered here. With that said… 

Kafka: To a bright future for HAMA and all its wards… Cheers!

Momiji: Cheers!

*clapping*

Sakujiro: Excellent work, Chief.

Daniel: Yo! How’s it going~?

Momiji: Everyone… Cheers to all our hard work up till now!

Yachiyo: Cheers~! Wow, I feel like one of those rich people you see in American dramas!

Nayuki: Oh? Chief, you’re only having juice?

Daniel: What’s up with that? It’s not like you don’t drink, why not get sloshed like the rest of us?

Momiji: That’s true, but I have some work I need to do later.

Yachiyo: Eek! I’m in the same boat, how could I drink away like I don’t have a care in the world…!

Momiji: You should be okay because you can hold your liquor well, Yachiyo-kun. 

Yachiyo: Yep! I’ll do my best even if I’m drunk as a skunk!

Nayuki: He’s a pain in the neck when he gets drunk, so I suggest you work in your room later, Chief.

Sakujiro: I am pleased to see the two of you so enthusiastic about your work. At long last, we have finally managed to reach the starting line.

Yachiyo: Too bad that the Night Team only has four members instead of the usual five…

Momiji: It couldn’t be helped. There’s only wards from 0 to 18 afterall… 

Daniel: Well, the hard part’s only just comin’. Don’t let yer guard down Chief~

Momiji: Yes! I will try even harder to put my best foot forward for the company and HAMA—

Daniel: Ugh! Gimme a break, yer gonna get me sober again with all that work talk.

Momiji: Aw, but… 

Sakujiro: Indeed. Not even the God of Travel would find fault with you for taking a respite tonight. 

Daniel: That drink over there is callin’ my name so… See ya later.

Yachiyo: Oh, I think I’ll get seconds on that delicious and expensive-looking roast beef… 

Nayuki: Fuefuki-san, let me get it for you. I’m worried you’ll end up diving headfirst into the chocolate fondue if I leave you to your own devices… 

Momiji: Ahaha…

Sakujiro: Then, I shall return to making the rounds and greeting everyone. I hope you enjoy your time tonight.

Momiji: Yes, see you!

Momiji: …..

Momiji: (We’ve finally gathered all 18 ward mayors… I still feel like I’m dreaming…)

Kafka: Having fun, [Name]-chan?

Momiji: Hey, Kafka. That was a great speech you gave earlier. It reminded me of that promise we made on the roof… I couldn’t help but feel emotional.

Kafka: Is that so? Hearing that from you is what makes me the happiest, thank you.

Kafka: By the way, have you seen Nagi? I wanted to ask him if he was feeling comfortable at HAMA House… 

Kafka: I assumed that he’d be with you.

Momiji: Right… I was thinking of sticking with him too, since he’s probably not used to this kind of atmosphere… But I haven’t seen him around at all. I wonder if he’s resting somewhere… 

Nagi: ….. 

Nagi: (I’ve actually been standing cater-cornered behind them this whole time but… Neither of them have noticed me yet.)

Sonia: Um, Nagi-shan is right here—

Nagi: Shh, it’s ok.

Sonia: But… 

Nagi: If you tell them now, they'll keep thinking about it and feeling bad every time they see me, even two months from now, and I don't want that. Besides—

Nagi: If they talk to me, they might somehow end up crushed beneath one of the catering tables for all we know… 

Sonia: I doubt shumthing like that would happen… The tables are practically nailed to the floor.

Nagi: No, we can never be too sure. Besides, I’ve never been to a party for as long as I can remember, so I don’t even know what to expect at one of these anyways. What “pattern” should I prepare myself for in this situation…?

Nagi: Being able to attend a party feels like I won the lottery*, so I have no idea what might happen after this. I wouldn’t be surprised if some aliens decided to crash the party to restore the balance. This is no good, I feel too anxious… 

Nagi: Yeah, okay. I should just leave.

Sonia: Eh!?

Renga: Here you are, Nagi!

Nagi: …Ah, Renga. And, um, Raito-san.

Raito: Hey there. Haven’t seen you since our last leader meeting, right? I wanted to welcome you again to HAMA House— And you too, Sonia.

Sonia: Thank you very mush for the invite.

Renga: I-I’m glad a great guy like you is on board with us! It’s very, uh, heartening–

Nagi: Meanwhile I don’t think my heart can take any more of this. 

Renga: Huh?

Nagi: Oh, just saying that I’m sorry for intruding, yep.

Raito: Haha, now why would you say that? This is your home too, now.

Nagi: Oh you’re right. Just a force of habit. I can’t help but panic, being in such an unfamiliar situation. 

Renga: I figured as much… You seem like the type who wouldn’t be used to any of this… Um, you doing okay…?

Raito: That’s very kind of you, Renga. It shows good leadership to look after the newcomers. 

Renga: I-I’m not really doing this out of… Ah, the toilet’s over there, by the way.

Nagi: Oh, um, yeah, I know.

Sonia: Nagi-shan holed himself up in the bathroom five times already because he was too nervous…

Nagi: Shhh….

Raito: Renga, it's a bit impolite to mention that when everyone’s in the middle of eating.

Renga: T-That’s not what I meant…! It’s just that, he looks so gloomy when we’re all celebrating here… I thought his stomach might be hurting or something… 

Nagi: It’s okay, my face has always looked like this. More importantly, how are your roses? Are they doing well? 

Renga: Oh yeah, the roses! Thanks to all your advice, my grandmother’s roses are all blooming beautifully! 

Renga: The topiary on which you taught me how to prune looks nice and healthy still.

Nagi: I’m sure the plants adore you, Renga. You’re quick on the uptake too, you must be some sort of gardening genius. 

Renga: Eh, you think so!? A gardening genius… Um, on second thought, maybe that doesn’t sound right… 

Raito: Renga, didn’t you have something you wanted to ask Nagi?

Renga: O-Oh, that’s right. How’ve you been all this time? You doing good?

Nagi: I’d say so. I delivered the flowers to your house recently too.

Renga: Right, right. We picked out an arrangement for the lobby, and it turned out to be a big hit with the clients… 

Nagi: You knew exactly what you wanted, so I was able to make the arrangement thanks to that. So really, it was all you and your great taste.

Renga: No, um… It’s not like I have great taste… Then again, I did my best to think about what would suit the image of the Nishizono family…. But wait, then that’s not really my taste is it… 

Raito: Haha, let’s just say you both did a good job and leave it at that.

~~~

Yodaka: The famous “Wild Seven - Executive Omega,” to think I would get to meet you here… 

Yodaka: ….. 

Yodaka: (What a crisp flavor… after which a fruity afternote hits the tongue. Ah… I think it’d taste even better if I rim the glass with salt…)

Yodaka: (I think there should be some over at the catering corner—)

*bump*

Liguang: ….. 

Yodaka: Oh dear. Pardon me, I wasn’t paying attention. 

Yodaka: I hope I didn’t make you spill your drink?

Liguang: …It’s fine.

Yodaka: That’s a relief. I’m Yodaka Natsume, soon to be 17th ward mayor. It’s nice to meet you.

Liguang: (A handshake, huh…)

Liguang: Lu Liguang, 4th ward mayor.

*a flash*

Yodaka: …..

Liguang: —Oh?

Yodaka: (A part of the skin on his ring finger is hardened… That means—)

Liguang: (—He’s a mahjong player too.)

Yodaka: …..

Liguang: …..

Yodaka: How long have you been playing?

Liguang: Let’s just say I was born with a tile in my hand.

Yodaka: Oh my… I would certainly love to see your skills in action.

Yodaka: How about playing a round sometime?

Liguang: Not a bad idea… But we’ll need at least one more player.

Liguang: Oi.

Kinari: ?

Liguang: Do you know how to play mahjong?

Kinari: I have not played it before. However, it is possible for me to download and install the rules of the game within one minute, if required. 

Yodaka: Well, aren’t you quick? We could have our game sooner than I thought… How about tonight? We could go ahead and play with just the three of us, but maybe we should search for one more player in the meantime.

Liguang: As you wish. But keep in mind, you’re not getting any points from me.

Yodaka: Fufu, you’re the type of man to steal away and hide the woman you want, hm? It’s fine, the point sticks will decide who they want to go with… and it will be me. 

Kinari: …..

Note:

When I translated Nagi saying "-feels like I won the lottery," the original line has him say 役満空間 (yakuman kuukan) which is one of his strange analogies where he means that he feels like he's in a super rare and happy situation akin to getting a 'yakuman', which is a is a special winning condition in mahjong which is very difficult to obtain. So I decided to use "winning the lottery" to mean something similar and easier to understand.

Point sticks or 点棒 (tenbou) are used to keep track of scores in mahjong.

[acourtofthought]

Elain and Lucien were given a mating bond in book 2.

Their story has always been and will continue to be about them because it's not just about it being Elain's bond but Lucien's as well and we know that males struggle to a greater degree.

It is about what happens when two strangers from two different worlds were shocked to find they share a rare and special link to one another.

Where neither was in a place to really explore or give in to what that means because they had been dealt trauma after trauma in their lives and had to make it through that darkness first. Feeling drawn to one another but knowing they weren't ready and needing to navigate their paths alone before confronting what it is they might mean to the other.

Elain avoiding her traumas and instead latching on to the idea of something easy with no strings attached in her crush with Az is not the major hurdle of her character arc.

Her crush on Az is the most minor and insignificant detail of Elain's story.

The rejection from her fiance who she pledged to love forever when accepting his ring.

The loss of her father who she loved and cared for.

Being made into a species she once feared and living in a land she never wanted to be in.

Stabbing someone when cruelty greatly bothers her.

Being given powers she doesn't fully understand and that not one person in the IC has bothered to try to help her learn.

Being surrounded by people who don't really see her and often speak for her even when it goes against what she herself wants.

Having a pull to someone, that pull being something she doesn't understand as she wasn't raised on the idea of the mating bond, a bond that forces her instincts to react in a way she's unaccustomed to.

These are the big issues we need Elain's thoughts on.

A near kiss after a year of nothing more than a few glances and lingering touches is dust compared to the heaviness of what I'm guessing is Elain's inner turmoil with the rest, that she's desperately trying not to think about.

In my opinion, Az has only been her attempt at a band, used to hold back the water in a dam and after Solstice, that dam finally exploded.

He wasn't the quick fix she hoped to get and now the real work will begin because she can no longer run from her past and the things she needs to face head on. That includes her mate and the real reasons she's avoided him.

Her story started with Lucien. It doesn't matter that she met Az in the human lands because Az walked away as no one to her. She still looked forward to her marriage to Graysen, still slept with Graysen, Az did not register as anyone more than her sisters fae friend.

The thing that suddenly threw a wrench into the life Elain wanted had nothing to do with Az and everything to do with her being turned and finding out that Lucien was her mate:

“I don’t care what his name is.” The first sharp words from Graysen. “You are his mate. Do you even know what that means?”

Her story started with Lucien and as we've seen for SJM mated pairs (even ones as poorly matched as Rhys's parents since some love to throw that out as proof of why Elucien won't happen though they ignore what is said about his parents incompatible personalities), I believe her story will end with Lucien. Because it's not just her bond but his as well and SJM is not going to give her version of Jamie Fraser anything less than the best.

[jpmarvel90]

Don't let me down - Part 9

Y/n's POV:

Masterlist Scarlett Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Relationship: MamaScarlett x 16 yr old Reader

Summary: Whilst Y/n tries to distract herself from the impending court case with Mr Woodstock. She ends up having to face another hurdle she wasn't expecting.

Word count: 6993

Trying to focus on my schoolwork and soccer has been really hard since Danny came around and dropped the bomb that I'm likely going to have to testify against Mr Woodstock. Scarlett and Colin have been great and are supporting me more than I could ask. They're not pushing me, but they are there when I have my moments. I'm glad that I have them to go through this with.

When I told Laura, I've never seen her more angry. She started ranting about how unfair it is to make, not just me, but the other kids have to relive what we went through. She's spent a lot of time with me after school and I'm sure that her and Scarlett have been texting about me. Part of me is a little annoyed as I feel like I'm being watched, but then I'm grateful they care about me enough to check in with each other.

We had a meeting with the DA who is leading the case and he has confirmed that I will be asked a number of questions by himself and then the defence lawyer will have a chance to also question me. The thought of that terrifies me as I know that they are just going to try and prove me wrong or discredit my testimony. I've seen enough Law & Order SUV to know how it goes.

However, both Danny and the DA have assured me that they'll coach me in responding to the questions. I'll already know what they plan to ask me, so I'll be prepared from that point of view. However, we'll have no idea what the defence may say. So, we're going to do some sessions together where they'll prepare me as best they can.

Scarlett has tried to suggest that I do it via video link to give me an extra layer of protection, but I know that I want to be there. I can't bring my parents to justice for the years I spent being abused by them, but I can to Mr Woodstock. It's not just me he hurt and if I had the balls to do this earlier, I could have stopped the other kids getting hurt too.

When we left the DA's office, I felt dread over the upcoming court case. We have a month to prepare before I'll need to testify. Thankfully, I don't need to be there for anything else. It's one day and then hopefully they'll find him guilty, and I'll be able to move on and put my past firmly behind me. Allow me to focus on how my life is going to be better moving forward.

The sessions with Danny have been ok. He's predicted what he believes the defence may ask and then poses the question to me. We then work on how I can approach different elements. He also helps me to control my emotions and focus on breathing. Taking a breather is not a bad thing and will only reflect badly on the defence lawyer if he tries to move me on.

I think the sessions are helping, but I feel drained after every one. I cry in each one and I hate it. Reliving what happened is bad enough, but having to prepare to defend that I'm telling the truth is horrible. I just hope that this is all worth it.

Thankfully, we have our next soccer games this week and it's providing me with something to focus on. It's still hard to give me full attention, but I owe it to the team to still be the best player and captain that I can be. This week, Lizzie is joining Scarlett and Rose to watch. Unfortunately, Colin is working today so can't make it. Scarlett decided to leave Cosmo with Melanie so the three of them can enjoy the afternoon before coming to school to watch the game.

We're so far unbeaten this season. We had two preseason games that gave us a good platform to work from. But we've only play 5 league games. We're playing well and hopefully we'll be able to make it into the playoffs at the end of the year. But today's game will be the biggest test that we've had yet. Rochford High are a tough team and they are aggressive.

I use the warmup to get my mind completely on the game and make sure that I don't let it drift off to everything that is happening in my personal life. Laura is great at keeping me smiling as she jokes around, and we make sure our pre-game warm up doesn't change even though we're playing a tough team.

As we're taking on water, my eyes scan the bleachers, which are bursting tonight. It's like the whole local town has turned up. My eyes quickly land on my little sister who is jumping up and down and waving at me when she sees me looking. I wave back and pull a face at her whilst Lizzie and Scarlett wave to me also.

It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling to see them in the stands. I never thought I would have people here to support me. Scarlett has been to every one of my home games. She even rearranged work to come to the one of them. It makes me feel wanted and loved and it's a strange feeling for me. But I like it and I couldn't be more grateful to see them in the crowd.

Coach Saunders calls us into a huddle and gives us an inspiring team talk. I gulp when I have to follow him up, but I make sure to be confident and re-enforce our teamwork and we win together and lose together. With our huddle over, I make my way over to the referee for the coin toss. I shake their captain's hand and internally fist pump when we win the coin toss. I decide to kick off first and we take our places on the pitch waiting for the whistle to blow.

The game is frantic from the first whistle. As expected, they play hard and are hitting us off the ball a lot. We change our tactic to have quick and accurate passing, which works and starts to frustrate them. They end up fouling us a lot more and the ref warns them about their actions.

We take advantage of this when Laura is on the receiving end of a beautiful freekick from Bella. Even though she's tasselling with the defender, she's able to get up higher than her and her head meets the ball. I watch as it flies past the keeper and into the back of the net.

The crowd go wild as we rush around Laura and Bella, cheering the perfect set piece. "I'm proud of you babe." I tell her as we walk back to our side of the pitch for the restart, my arm draped over her shoulder. "I need to keep impressing you." She smirks, nudging me. "Consider me impressed." I return, moving to take my spot.

We manage to dominate the first half but don't get any more goals. We've been able to adapt our play to make their efforts ineffective. We can see that it's just frustrating them more and that carries on into the second half. We're getting so many shots on goal but we're just not getting it in the net.

They manage to catch us on the counterattack, and I rush back to provide support in defence, with a well time sliding tackle I dispossess their striker as she's about to take her shot on goal. I quickly jump to my feet and sprint down the pitch to get myself into an open position.

Seeing I'm in open space, I call for the ball and trap it with my foot. Looking up I see it's just me against two defenders, my team still getting back into position from the counterattack. Not wasting anytime, I take on the first defender, getting around her with ease.

I look up hoping to see someone in the box, but I'm still the furthest up the field. With a swift nudge to the ball, I megs the final defender and run around her, despite her efforts to stop me getting to the ball. Just as she tugs my t-shirt, I manage to get a good connection with the ball and watch as it sails into the top corner. Though I'm now on the floor as a result of the shirt tug.

This doesn't stop the team celebrating with me, bundling on me on the floor. With our celebration over, Laura holds her hand out to me to help me back to my feet. "You just had to one up me didn't you." She teases. "Maybe I want to impress you too." I wink at her as she shakes her head at my antics. As I'm moving back for the restart, I look to the crown and wave to Rose who's still cheering. She really is my biggest fan, and she looks adorable in our team jersey.

With our energy up, we just seem to get better. With our third goal, the pressure seems to disappear and we're playing more freely. When we win a freekick near the corner flag, I'm on the hunt for a second goal. I'm stood on the edge of the box and hold my hands in the air to indicate the play we should go for.

As the ball is crossed into the box, I run in and go to jump to try and get my head on the ball. Their defender goes up with me, but I see her elbow wind back as she jumps. She's not looking at the ball and I'm helpless as I watch her elbow move towards my face. For a split second I feel pain as she makes a connection, but it soon disappears as I fade into darkness.

Scarlett's POV:

This is the best that I've seen the team play. They're working as a cohesive group and seem to be able to counter anything the other team throw at them. I'm so proud when Y/n scores and the three of us cheer along with the rest of the crowd as the team celebrate.

Y/n had talked about how difficult this game was going to be. The opposition are probably one of the only teams that can match their ability, but they just don't seem to be able to break the team down. Instead of regrouping they're just getting more frustrated.

It's great seeing the smile on Y/n's face. I've not seen her smile like that in a while since we learnt about the court case. Soccer has always brought her happiness and I'm glad it's giving her an outlet today.

The team get ready for another freekick, and it seems certain that it's only a matter of time before they score again. My eyes are on my daughter as the anticipation builds. However, when I see an elbow collide with her face, I'm instantly out of my seat shouting for a foul.

However, I instantly freeze when I see Y/n on the floor not moving, her leg bent in an awkward angle. "Lizzie, watch Rose." I call out as I rush down the stairs of the bleachers and jump over the railing. Coach Saunders sees me and waves me over as he's knelt down next to my unconscious daughter.

As I reach her, I can hear the team arguing with the ref and a couple of them scuffling with the other team, mainly the defender that hit her. "Is she ok?" I ask, panic filling my voice as I kneel down next to her. Laura on one side holding her hand tightly. My eyes look over her and I see blood on her face from her nose. My eyes then move down to her leg, and I have to fight back tears. "She fell awkwardly and landed on her leg as she didn't have control over her body." Coach Saunders explains, moving so I can get in closer.

Fear overrides me as I'm desperate for my daughter to wake up. "We've called 911 and they should be here shortly." One of the assistant coaches calls out. "Y/n baby, wake up for me please." I beg her, my hands gently cupping her face. "Come on sweetheart." I encourage her, hoping that she might start to stir. My eyes flick to Laura who's watching on with teary eyes.

I move my hand and place it over hers that is already holding Y/n's. "She's going to be ok right?" Laura asks, looking up to me hopefully. "Of course she is. She's strong." I reassure her, though I'm scared myself. Thankfully, we don't have to wait for long for the ambulance to arrive and almost simultaneously, Y/n starts to stir awake. "Y/n, sweetie. It's Scarlett are you ok?" I ask her as her eyes fill with fear. "Mom?" She whispers, making my heart clench at the name. I don't let it get to me and focus on her. "I'm here baby. You're ok. The paramedics are here." I tell her and she nods.

She obviously starts to feel the pain and she starts to cry out. "It's ok babe. You're going to be fine. They'll get you some good stuff soon." Laura tries to joke through her own tears. The paramedics soon join us, and we reluctantly have to move out of the way as they treat her.

I take a moment to breathe and notice the referee brandish a red card to the defender that hit her. I have to fight from going over to the kid and giving her a piece of my mind. But I have to remember she is just that. A kid. "Mommy! Is Y/n, ok?" Rose calls out to me. I glance to Y/n and see she's being looked after and right now I need to comfort my other daughter.

I walk over to her and pick her up instantly. "She's hurt, but she's being looked after. She's going to have to go the hospital, but she'll be ok." I reassure her as she nods in my neck. "I can take Rose home whilst you're with Y/n." Lizzie offers but Rose instantly argues with that idea. "I don't want to leave Y/n. Please!" She begs. "I can bring her to the hospital?" Lizzie offers and I think for a moment. "You have to understand that it's going to be boring." I explain to Rose, and she nods. "I want to be there to protect Y/n." She responds, making my heart warm at her cuteness.

"How about we go home and grab some things for you both and then we'll come to the hospital." Lizzie suggests. "If you wouldn't mind that would be great." I agree, looking back towards Y/n. "Go, text me where you are, and we'll see you later." Lizzie says when she sees my concern. "Thank you, Lizzie. I love you Rose, and we'll see you later." I say before rushing back to be with Y/n.

They're currently giving her some gas and air when I return, and the paramedic looks to me. "Are you mom?" She asks and I nod. "We're just stabilising her leg and then we'll get her to the hospital. They'll assess her there and give her some additional pain relief." She explains and I nod along, my eyes fixated on Y/n.

Seeing where my eyes are the paramedic continues to reassure me. "This may look scary at the moment, but we need to also to stabilise her head just in case there are any injuries to her neck. We're making sure we take every precaution to prevent further injury." I continue to nod along. Understanding why they're doing what they're doing. It just doesn't make it any easier to watch.

I take my place next to Y/n and provide her any comfort I can whilst she is being seen too. "Can I come with you?" Laura asks, looking from Y/n to me. "No." Y/n jumps in taking Laura by surprise, her eyes showing the hurt. "You need to finish the game." Y/n clarifies. "But..." Laura goes to defend but Y/n cuts her off. "I'll still be broken when the game is over. I'm ok and not going anywhere. Quite literally." She jokes, making us both chuckle. "Please, you need to make sure we win this game and then you can come and see me." She requests. Laura reluctantly agrees but doesn't leave her side until she's guided on to the gurney and moved toward the ambulance. "I'll keep you updated." I promise Laura who nods, reluctant to let go. "I'll see you shortly babe." She smiles, placing a gentle kiss on Y/n's lips, who gives a giddy smile.

I climb in the back of the ambulance and take a seat next to Y/n, reaching out to hold her hand. The paramedics get in and we start on our journey to the hospital. "It hurts mom." Y/n looks to me, tears in her eyes. My heart skips a beat again when she calls me mom. "I know. I'm sorry you're hurt. But I'm here for you." I try to comfort her. "The doctors will be able to get you some morphine when you're in the ER." The paramedic tells Y/n, which seems to appease her for now.

Thankfully, it's not long until we're at the hospital and we're being taking through to the ER where a doctor and some nurses are waiting for us. The potential injury to her neck is their biggest concern right now and they want to confirm there isn't any further injury before properly addressing her leg.

I stand to the side feeling completely helpless as I watch the doctors and nurses move around Y/n, calling out stats and information as they go. The whimpers from Y/n make my heart break. I wish I could take the pain away from here. "Let's get a canula set up and we'll get some pain relief." One of the doctors orders.

Thankfully, the morphine seems to start working quite quickly and Y/n's whimpers start to peter out as the medicine does its job. "Mrs Johansson?" The call of my name tears my eyes away from my daughter and to the doctor who is stood next to me with a kind smile on his face. "Hi, I'm Dr Greenwood. I'm the primary physician for your daughter." He greets me. "On initial examination, it's clear that Y/n has a broken leg and potentially a facial fracture too. We're confident there is no damage to her neck, but we want to be sure before removing the brace. So, we'll be sending her down for some x-rays and scans so we can get a full assessment of her injuries." He explains and I nod along.

"We've given her pain relief and that seems to be working and she's much more comfortable now. I know it's hard to see your kid in pain, but I can assure you we're doing everything that we can to make sure she is comfortable." He assures me, making smile. "Thank you. I appreciate everything you're doing." I respond. "I can get one of the nurses to show you to a private waiting room whilst Y/n is taken for imagery, and we'll come and get you as soon as she's settled in a room." He offers. "Can I see her first?" I request. "Of course. We're just waiting for the porters now." He responds and moves out of the way for me to see Y/n.

The madness around her has died down now and she's just got a couple of nurses monitoring different things. "Hi sweetheart. How are you feeling?" I ask Y/n as I take her hand and gently run my hands through her hair. "Tired and sore." She responds with a croaky voice. Her eye is already starting to swell and bruise, a reminder of the harsh act that led to her being in the hospital. "They're going to take you to get some scans of your leg and neck in a minute. I'll be waiting for you to come back." I explain. "Does that mean I can get this thing off?" She asks, tugging a little at the neck brace. "As long as the scans come back clear you'll be free of the prison." I respond with a smirk, happy that there is a smile on her face.

"We're ready to take her now." One of the nurses tells us. "I'll be right here waiting. I love you ok." I tell her firmly. "I love you too." She responds, taking me by surprise. I don't think she's ever said that to me before. It causes a tear to fall down my cheek as I smile at her lovingly. "Mom, you've got to let me go." She chuckles, just adding to my happiness. I try not to think to much of it, before she was in pain and now, she's on drugs. When she's more with it, we may be going back to Scarlett, but I'll take it for now!

I watch as they roll Y/n away down the corridor, taking a deep breath. I'm then guided to a private waiting room, which I'm very grateful for. I'd rather this not be how news of Y/n gets out. I want it to be on our terms and when she's comfortable. I quickly text Lizzie an update and she confirms they're packing a bag for Y/n as it's likely she'll be in overnight.

Now I just need to call my husband. He's at work today preparing for filming tonight. I hesitate in calling him, but I know that he'd want to be told that she was in the hospital. I hit his contact name and wait for him to answer.

Colin: Hi babe. How was the game? Did they win?

He asks instantly, excitement in his voice. I love how invested he is in Y/n's soccer games.

Scarlett: Uh I'm not actually sure. Y/n got hurt during the game and we're currently at the hospital.

Colin: WHAT?! Is she ok? What happened? How badly is she hurt?

He rambles down the phone, panic lacing his voice.

Scarlett: She was elbowed in the face by a defender when she jumped to head a ball. It knocked her out and as she fell, she landed on her leg awkwardly.

Colin: Oh my God. Was it deliberate? Actually, never mind. I'm leaving work now and I'm coming to the hospital. What did the doctor say?

Scarlett: Col, you don't need to do that. Y/n understands you're working and she's doing ok? She's currently having scans to see how badly her leg is broken and to rule out a neck injury.

Colin: Of course, I'm coming. She's my daughter. Family always comes first, you know that.

I smile down the phone when he refers to Y/n as his daughter. He did it so easily. I really need to bring up the whole adoption thing again. I don't think I can go much longer without having her legal be my daughter. I want her to know that she has a loving mom and dad who will be there for her no matter what.

As he's on the phone I can hear him explaining the situation to someone, I'm assuming the director, who easily agrees for him to leave. He then starts to rush around to get to the car.

Colin: "Ok. I'm about to drive. I'll see you in about 30 minutes. I love you.

Scarlett: I love you too. Drive safely.

And with that he hangs up. I wait nervously to hear that Y/n is back. I'm still worried she's going to have further damage to her neck. I know they said they don't think there is anything to untoward about it, but I can't get the worrying sick feeling out of my stomach.

"Mrs Johansson?" I look up and see Laura waiting hesitantly in the doorway. "How many times do I have to tell you to call me Scarlett." I smile at her, opening my arms to her. She instantly moves forward and melts into my hug. "How is she?" She questions as we move to sit. I fill her in on everything the doctor said, and she listens intently.

"Do you know how hard it was not to go and punch that bitch in the face." She fumes after I explain the extent of her injuries. "I probably shouldn't admit this as the adult in this situation, but I feel the same." I admit to chuckles. "Did you win?" I ask and a smile grows on her face. "We scored two more goals. It was 4-0 in the end." She responds proudly. "Y/n will be happy." I say and Laura nods. "Turns out playing for a teammate helped us to play even better. We wanted to do our best for our captain." She explains.

Not too long later, Colin comes bursting through the door, giving both Laura and I a heart attack. "Jeeze Colin!" I scold, my hand clutching my chest as my racing heart starts to calm. "S-sorry. I was just worried." He apologises. "How is she?" He asks. "We've not heard anything more since I called you. They said it could be a little while whilst she has the different scans and x-rays." I reply.

"Where's Rose?" Colin asks when he notices it's just me and Laura in the waiting room. "With Lizzie. They're getting a bag together, so Y/n has some things with her. Rose is adamant about being here for her big sister." I explain, earning an aw from Laura. "I can ask your mom to come and collect her later and keep the kids over night until we know more." Colin suggests. "I think that'll be wise. Rose can see how Y/n is doing and head to mom's before bedtime." I agree.

Colin places a kiss to my head and moves to the other side of the room to call my mom and explain what has happened. She already has Cosmo today, so she's happy to take Rose too. Though she's concerned for her granddaughter too. I think Y/n is going to be spoilt when she's home.

When Colin joins us again, he takes the seat next to me and wraps a supportive arm around me. I move to rest my head on his shoulder, taking in his comfort. "She called me mom." I say quietly. "What was that?" Colin asks. "She called me mom. When she was on the field, she called me mom and then again in the ambulance and here in the hospital." I explain in more detail. "I'm sure it's just because she's in pain and on drugs but hearing her call me that, it made my heart almost burst." I share, my emotions building once again.

"She means it." Laura speaks up from beside me. Both Colin and I turn to look at her. "Yes, she's in pain and high right now. But she means it. This has just given her the outlet to be able to say it. You've given her a safe and loving environment. Yes, it's taken her a while to be able get to this point. But you never pushed her. I don't think you realise how much that means to her." She explains with a soft smile on her face.

"All I have wanted is to be the mother she deserves. I never thought that she would forgive me, let alone get to a point she could call me mom." I admit, tears welling up in my eyes. "Family of Miss Y/l/n?" A nurse enters the room and calls for us. The sound of Y/n's surname bringing me down for a moment. "You need to work on changing her name." Laura smirks at me as we stand and follow the nurse.

She takes us to a private ward where Y/n is laid in bed, her neck brace off. I breath a sigh of relief knowing there is no injury there. Laura rushes in first and carefully hugs Y/n, pressing a kiss to her lips. "I'm so glad you're ok. It was horrible seeing you out cold." She tells her, cupping her cheeks and gently rubbing her thumb over her cheek. "Did you win?" Y/n asks, making us laugh. "I see you have your priorities right." Laura chuckles. "And yes, we won 4-0." She adds on. "See you don't need me on the team." Y/n responds with a sad smile.

We all get comfortable and wait for the doctor to come in and tell us the severity of Y/n's injury. Laura sits on one side, holding Y/n's hand tightly, whilst Colin and I flank her on the other side. "Aren't you filming tonight?" Y/n asks Colin. "Not anymore, I have to been here for my daughter." He responds, his words causing a wide smile to appear on Y/n's face. "Thanks dad." Y/n responds, her eyes glossed over. "D-did you. Did you just..." Colin stutters in shock. Y/n nods, smiling nervously. "I hope you both don't mind me calling your mom and dad. My experience of parents hasn't a good one. I don't really know what a good mom and dad looks like. But I'm pretty sure it's the both of you. I've not been easy yet you've both been there for me, supporting me and loving me. Especially these last couple of weeks with the court case. To me you are my mom and dad." Y/n shares, making both Colin and I cry.

"Oh, my sweet girl. I have been waiting, hoping, you may one day see me as your mother. Hearing you call me mom, it's everything I could ask for." I reassure her as I hug her gently, placing a kiss to her head. Y/n then looks to Colin who's a blubbering mess, making us all laugh. "Like I said, I've seen you as my daughter from the beginning. Being your dad is an honour I'm glad you've allowed me to have." He expresses, getting up and hugging her also.

A clearing of a voice gets all of our attention, and our heads snap to see the doctor in the doorway a file in his hand. "Sorry to interrupt this moment, but I have Y/n's results." He explains. "Please come on in." Colin composes himself and moves back to his seat as the doctor enters the room.

"Ok, Y/n, having examined your scans, I'm happy to say there is no injury to your neck. Though you probably know that as we removed your brace." He starts off. "However, you do have a fractured eye socket, so that is going to look pretty nasty for a few weeks. There's not much we can do other than provide you pain relief and wait for it to heal." He explains and Y/n nods in understanding.

"Now, on to your leg." I feel Y/n's hand tense in my own as we wait to hear the damage. "You have a displaced transverse fracture to your tibia. This means that it's a complete break of the bone and the two parts are not aligned. In this instance, we will need to surgically realign your leg and put in some pins to secure the fracture, allowing it to heal effectively." The doctor explains, showing us the x-rays of Y/n's clearly broken leg.

Y/n's breath hitches at the news, tears filling her eyes. "Will I be able to play soccer again?" She asks, fear lacing her voice. At the vocalisation of her worries, Laura sits forward and holds her other hand tightly. "I have every confidence that with a successful surgery and physio, you'll be playing again." He responds with a smile. Y/n's whole body relaxes at the confirmation, but I know there is still one question on her mind. "How long until I can play again?" She asks him.

"You'll be in a cast for about 6 weeks and from there you'll start physio. I would guess that you could be back into light training within 8 weeks and playing within 10." He replies. "Wow, that's a long time." Y/n whispers, her head dropping. "You'd be back in time for playoffs." Laura tries to comfort her. "And we'll still need our captain. You're more than the player on the pitch Y/n." Laura reassures her, placing a kiss to her hand. She nods unsurely before the doctor goes into more detail about surgery and recovery.

She'll be going in for surgery in the morning as it's already late this evening. She has a temporary brace on her leg which will stop any more damage happening before they're able to surgically fix her leg. We thank the doctor who leaves us to it. "How are you feeling kiddo?" Colin asks, placing a hand on her uninjured leg. "10 weeks is a long time." She replies emotionlessly.

Soccer has been her saving grace these last two years. It's been an outlet whilst she's been going through so much, and it's suddenly taken away from her. I just hope that now she has a stable home, a loving girlfriend and family, that she won't lose herself.

A knock on the door gains our attention as we all giggle as we see Rose on her tiptoes trying to look through the window. I wave them in and Rose rushes to her sister's side. "Sissy! Are you ok?" Rose asks worriedly, trying to climb up onto the bed. Y/n leans forward to pick her up, but I tap her hand away and do it for her.

Rose is really careful as she sits next to Y/n staring at her now closed up eye. "I'm much better now my sister is here." She responds happily, a smile plastered on her face to hide her pain. "Auntie Lizzie told me that we can't bring your flowers, so I brought you chocolate instead. It's you're favourite." Rose shares, turning to Lizzie holding her hand out expectantly.

Lizzie chuckles and pulls out the chocolate bar from her bag and hands it's to Rose. "Yummy. Thank you, Rosie." Y/n responds, placing a kiss to her head. "That girl was mean. I hope she got told off and grounded for hurting you." Rose huffs snuggling into her sister. "Well, she was sent off and I can't imagine she'll get away without the ban being extended." Laura explains with an angry look on her face. I notice that Y/n reaches out and squeezes her hand in comfort, instantly calming down her fuming girlfriend.

"When can you come home?" Rose now asks as Lizzie makes herself comfortable. "We're not sure yet sweetie. Y/n has to have surgery tomorrow so probably a couple of nights." I explain, making Rose pout. "But I have school tomorrow." She complains. "That's ok Rosie. When I'm home we can have a movie day. Mom, dad, and Cosmo could join us too. What do you think?" Y/n suggests to help placate the 7 year old. "Can Laura come too?" Rose asks shyly. "Of course!" Y/n replies happily.

Lizzie's eyes go wide when she hears what Y/n called us as both Colin and I smile. Lizzie looks to me and I nod to confirm she heard correctly. "I'm happy for you." She mouths to me, not wanting to disturb the kids who are rambling about what movies to watch.

We spend the evening together, chatting and laughing. It's really nice, considering we're sat in a hospital room with my injured daughter laid up in bed. But as it hits 8pm, the nurse comes in and tells us that visiting hours are over. "Are you sure you're going to be ok on your own?" I ask Y/n, worried to leave her. "I can always talk to them about letting me stay." I offer but she shakes her head. "I'll be ok mom. I'm pretty tired so I'll probably get some sleep." She reassures me. "Ok, I'll have my phone on loud so if you need anything, just call or text ok. I can be here in 20 minutes." I tell her and she nods.

I bid her goodnight, leaving a soft kiss to her head, reminding her how much I love her. Colin does the same before picking up a sleepy Rose. We leave Y/n and Laura to have a moment before we all leave together. "Do you want me to drop Rose at your moms?" Lizzie offers, but I shake my head. "Thanks, but we'll go. I'd like to see Cosmo." I respond and she nods. "How about I drive you home. That way this lot can get back." Lizzie suggests turning to Laura.

She blushes at the attention making me smirk. She's totally fangirling right now! "Oh, you don't need to do that Ms Olsen." She declines. "Don't me stupid, come on. Besides it gives me a chance to get to know my niece's girlfriend." Lizzie insists, making Laura gulp a little. "Oh, and don't call me Ms Olsen. I'm not old. Please just call me Lizzie." She adds on, earning a slow nod from the teenager. We all walk out to the car park together and say our goodbyes before heading home.

__________

The next morning, Colin and I are at the hospital as soon as we're allowed so we can be with Y/n before she heads into surgery. She's in a lot of pain this morning and had a bad night sleep, which is horrible to see. I think she's grateful that she's going to be unconscious for a few hours whilst they fix her leg.

The surgeon comes in and talks through the procedure, though most of it goes over my head. I'm just grateful that it seems to be helping Y/n. The nurses are then in to prepare her before we walk with them as they wheel her to the operating floor. "We'll be right here when you wake. Rose and Laura will be here after school too, so you've got that to look forward to." I tell Y/n, hoping to comfort her when I see worry in her eyes. "We both love you very much. Everything is going to be just fine." Colin says, pressing a kiss to Y/n's head. "I love you both too. See you in a few hours." She smiles. I hold her close one last time and watch as they take her away. Colin wraps his arm around me to comfort me as we begin waiting for her to return.

Instead of waiting around in a cold room, we head to the cafeteria and have some breakfast. We both skipped it this morning, worried about Y/n. We talk about what we can do to make things easier for Y/n when she gets home. She's going to be reliant on us for a while and I want everything to be as easy as possible for her.

"Shit, we need to call Danny?" I suddenly say. "Why? You're not planning on suing the kid are you?" Colin jokes, making me roll my eyes. "No. But it's the court case in 9 days." I point out and he lets out a quiet "oh." I know she'll still be able to testify, but she's not exactly going to be very mobile and it's just something else to add on to a stressful period for her. "Danny will know what to do. He's always got Y/n's interests at heart. I'll call him when Y/n is out of surgery, and we'll leave him to deal with anything that needs doing." Colin reassures me.

After about three hours, we move back to Y/n's room to wait. They said surgery will be around 4 hours, and I we don't want to miss her coming back. We settle in and I makes sure her pyjamas are out as I know she'll want to change as soon as she can.

Half an our later a nurse comes by to say that surgery went well and she's just in post op now before they bring her back. I let out a sigh of relief knowing that everything is ok. We can focus on recovery.

Colin and I both crowd around Y/n when they bring her back in. She's still unconscious but the doctor said she should wake shortly. We take our seats either side of our daughter, holding her hands and taking comfort that she's back with us. When she starts to stir, I move to gently run my hands through her hair. "M-mom." She stutters at a whisper. "I'm here sweetheart. Colin is too." I greet her as her eyes flutter open.

I give her the biggest smile I can which she tries to return. Her head then flops to the side to see Colin. "Hey kiddo. Glad you're awake." Colin smiles to her. "Hi dad." She returns. I don't think either Colin or I are going to get used to that, but I will love hearing it every time. I will never take for granted any of my kids calling me mom.

The doctor comes in when Y/n is more with it, confirming that surgery went really well and that he's confident of a full and complete recovery. This relaxes Y/n and I notice that she's become determined to get fit so she can be ready for playoffs when they come around.

That afternoon Laura and Rose come to visit. Laura kindly picked Rose up from school for us. Mom is going to bring Cosmo around dinner time so we can have some family time together. But thankfully, the doctor confirmed that Y/n can come home with us tomorrow. I'm grateful that she won't be in this hospital for longer. I want my daughter home with us so we can all look after her. She's got a stressful few weeks ahead and we want to be by her side, supporting her, through all of it.

Part 10

[andiwriteordie]

Secret relationship Byler on a Valentine’s Day date that gets spotted by Elumax

Naturally chaos ensues

piper!

okay this was so fun, and i am a sucker for secret relationship byler (and elumax omg my whole heart)! hope you enjoy!

—

7: i loved you in secret 

Will Byers has a secret.

It’s not a bad secret—actually, far from that. It’s actually a really, really good secret, and it’s one that makes Will smile to himself and kind of giggle like a kid when he stops to think about it. It’s that kind of secret. 

Will Byers has a secret.

And his secret? 

It’s Mike Wheeler.

Yeah, so nobody knows this secret except for Mike himself, but Will has been dating Mike for… a little over a month now. The two of them got together on New Year’s Eve actually, when Mike caught Will off guard and kissed on at midnight while the two of them were getting some fresh air. Since then, not that much has changed between the two of them, other than the fact that they kiss and cuddle and do other “couple” stuff now. They’ve always spent all their time together, but now… now, they get to do it as boyfriends.

The only thing is Mike isn’t actually out to anyone yet, and that’s fine, of course. It’s difficult being gay in the eighties to begin with, and even though the Party lives in California now for college, it’s still a bit of an adjustment to remind themselves that this isn’t wrong. It’s not wrong for guys to love other guys or for girls to love other girls or for people to love both or neither. It’s not wrong, but undoing all the shit they’ve heard growing up is hard.

So, they’re taking their relationship slow and keeping it a secret until Mike feels ready to come out to everyone. He’s getting there, Will thinks, and just based on conversations the two of them have had recently, Will thinks his boyfriend will probably be ready to tell the Party soon. 

Until then though, Will is honestly fine with keeping their relationship a secret. Honestly, it’s a little bit fun, especially since the other Party members can be nosy as hell. With their relationship a secret right now, they can keep this just for the two of them. Their relationship is just for Will and Mike—not for anyone else. They don’t have to worry about prying questions or nosy best friends when nobody knows about their relationship. They can just be together.

And for Will, that’s all that matters.

But being in a secret relationship does pose a few extra hurdles to get past—namely trying to figure out how to go on dates without getting caught by their friends. It’s actually kind of difficult, since most of their favorite places to frequent also just so happen to be the Party’s favorite places to go to together.

So, that’s exactly how Will finds himself in a little Italian restaurant over an hour away from campus, dressed in a nice dress shirt and dress pants and a fucking tie—because Mike had insisted upon taking Will out for a fancy, grown-up date.

(His words. Not Will’s.)

Somehow, he’d even managed to snag a couple of fake IDs for the two of them, and so, Will is a little bit tipsy on champagne that is way too fucking expensive and doesn’t even taste that good. But honest to God, he doesn’t care, because Mike keeps smiling across the table at him, and his cheeks are flushed from the wine and from the flirting, and Will is just so happy that he could cry.

Never ever in a million years did Will think he could have this—with Mike least of all—and never ever did he think he’d be brave enough to be out here in public with his boyfriend. But then again, after surviving a hell dimension, the end of the world, and an interdimensional war, Will thinks he’s probably braver than he gives himself credit for.

At the end of the day though, it’s Mike who gives him the strength and the courage to keep going. Mike and the love he has for Will is something that makes Will feel brave—brave enough to survive the most terrifying place Will has ever been in, brave enough to keep going even though the odds were stacked against them, brave enough to fight monsters and horrors no one should ever have to face, and brave enough to sit here, in public and smile and laugh and just be with the man he loves.

His relationship with Mike is the best thing that’s ever happened to Will. And this night—getting dressed up and pretending to be older than they are and actually getting to be themselves out in the world together—is definitely one of the best nights of Will’s life.

…

Until it isn’t.

Because when Will is about halfway through his way too fancy Italian dish, the front door of the restaurant opens.

His sister walks into the restaurant.

And Will nearly chokes on his food.

“Shit,” Will coughs, sinking lower into his seat. “Shit.”

A confused look forms on Mike’s face. “What?” he asks, voice full of concern. “What’s wrong? Will? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Will reassures, and he glances back at the door, wincing as El goes up to the hostess and starts talking to her. “But look who just walked in.”

Mike’s brow furrows, and his line of sight goes to the front door. All at once, his eyes widen, and his face turns bright red. “Oh, you have got to be kidding me,” he whispers, sinking lower into his seat just like Will is doing right now. “Lucas and Max are here?”

“What?” Will spins around again, and sure enough, Lucas and Max are walking into the restaurant now, their arms linked together. “I was talking about El! What are Lucas and Max doing here?”

“No clue,” Mike says with a wince, “but I, uh… I think they’re all together actually.”

Will’s eyes wide, and again, he turns around just in time to see Max and Lucas walk up to El. Max places a little kiss on El’s cheek, and Will watches as his sister beams, looking happier than he’s ever seen her before. 

Then, in a move that’s even stranger, Lucas does the same, planting a little kiss on El’s cheek and then on Max’s, and Will’s jaw drops open.

“Holy shit,” Will whispers, turning back around to his boyfriend. “Are the three of them together?”

Mike shrugs slightly, and he reaches for his glass of champagne, taking a small sip and scrunching his nose. “Kinda looks like it,” he remarks. “That… actually makes a lot of sense.”

It does, in fact, make a lot of sense. El and Max have been close for years now—ever since that summer with the Mind Flayer—and when Max was missing in the Upside Down, El and Lucas grew a lot closer too. Will supposes it’s not that hard to imagine the three of them would end up in a relationship together.

What is hard to imagine is that El didn’t tell him.

“I can’t believe she didn’t tell me,” Will grumbles, glancing back at his sister. Currently, her arm is linked with Max’s, and she’s bending down slightly to rest her head on Max’s shoulder. “I had no idea!”

A quiet laugh escapes Mike’s lips, and Will turns back around to see his boyfriend smiling in amusement. “Will,” he chuckles, “I really don’t think you’re in a position to get mad at El for keeping a secret relationship from you.”

Warmth rises to Will’s cheeks. Okay, that’s fair, but still, it’s the principle of the matter. He imagines El will probably be upset when she finds out Will kept his own relationship from her, so… Will’s going to let himself have this.

“Oh, shit,” Mike mutters. 

“What?” Will blinks, and he looks around in concern. “What’s wrong?”

“The hostess is bringing them this way,” Mike says with a wince. “You don’t think…”

His voice trails off, and he glances at the empty table that’s right next to theirs. It’s set for four people, and if they have a reservation for three, it would make sense…

Oh, shit.

“There’s no way we’d be that unlucky,” Will laughs nervously. “Right?”

Mike winces again, and he looks around the room. “Uh… considering there’s almost no other open tables…”

Will curses under his breath, glancing over his shoulder. The hostess is almost to the empty table now, with Lucas, Max, and El trailing after her. “We could leave,” Will offers, just to be helpful. “Maybe they won’t see us? I mean… I don’t want you to feel like you have to tell them if you aren’t ready.”

The look on Mike’s face softens, and he smiles back at Will, soft and sweet. “We’re not leaving,” he says, shaking his head. “There’s no way I’m letting those three ruin our date. Besides, we were here first.”

He pauses here and shrugs slightly. “And if they ask about it,” Mike muses, “I’ll just tell them the truth. I mean… I was thinking about telling the others soon anyways, and I think I’m ready… so, it’s okay, Will.”

There’s something so genuine in his voice and something so soft in his eyes, and Will can’t help but smile at his boyfriend. Pride blossoms all inside his chest, warm and gentle. Coming out is never easy, and so all Will can feel right now is so much pride and so much love.

“Okay,” he says softly. “As long as you’re sure.”

“I’m sure,” Mike promises, reaching his hand out for Will to take. “I love you. And I don’t care who knows about it.”

Will’s stomach does a nervous little somersault, and he smiles again, taking his boyfriend’s hand. “I love you too,” he whispers back.

Then, before he can say anything else, the hostess finally sits Lucas, Max, and El down at the table right next to them. Both Lucas and El clearly look surprised to see them, and they barely pay any attention to the little spiel the hostess gives about their waiting coming over soon. 

Finally, the hostess leaves, and Will smiles awkwardly, lifting his free hand in a little wave. “Hi,” he greets, looking directly at his sister.

“Hi,” El says slowly, her eyes darting back and forth between Will and Mike. “Um…”

“Early Valentine’s Day date,” Mike explains, and surprise forms on all three of their faces. “We wanted to beat the crowds and get away from campus.”

Lucas and El exchange a look, while Max squeezes El’s hand. An understanding seems to pass between the three of them, and Lucas offers a sheepish smile. “Us too,” he admits. “Figured it’d be easier to…”

“Hide your secret relationship?” Will guesses with a teasing smile.

All three of them have the audacity to look a little embarrassed, so that certainly makes Will feel a little bit better. “Yep,” Max confirms, her cheeks bright red. “Same with you?”

“Yep.” Mike nods. “What are the chances?”

“What are the chances,” El echoes faintly, and she glances over at Will, offering him an apologetic smile.

I am sorry, her expression seems to say. For not telling you.

Will just gives her one in return. It’s okay. Me too.

“So… I, uh… I guess we’ll let you guys get back to your date,” Lucas says awkwardly. “Sorry for… bothering you?”

Will can’t help but laugh, and he picks up his glass of champagne, taking a small sip of it. “All good,” he promises, even though he feels probably just as embarrassed as Lucas, El, and Max do. “Um… enjoy your date?”

“You too,” Max says with another awkward smile. 

An uncomfortable silence settles over both tables, and Will glances back at his boyfriend. There’s an amused look on Mike’s face, and when he catches Will’s eye, he raises an eyebrow, as if to say, That could’ve been worse. Will just nods in agreement and takes another sip of his champagne, ignoring the way it burns just a little when it goes down.

“Um, guys?” 

Will looks up at the sudden interruption, and he looks over at the table full of his best friends. “Yeah?”

“How are we going to tell Dustin about this?” Lucas, who had spoken up first, asks with another wince. “Or do we just… you know…”

His voice trails off, but the question doesn’t go unasked.

Do you still want to keep this a secret?

Mike purses his lips together, as if considering what to do with this situation. “We can figure it out later,” he says finally. “For right now…”

He glances over at Will, a soft but mischievous look in his eyes, and he squeezes Will’s hand again. “It’ll be our little secret,” Mike decides.

[lgbtqmanga]

New Releases June 18, 2024

Adachi and Shimamura (manga) vol. 5 by Hitoma Iruma and Moke Yuzuhara

Summer vacation is here! This is the perfect chance to get closer to Shimamura…or so Adachi thought. While part-timing at a food stall at the summer festival, she sees Shimamura happily strolling around with an unfamiliar girl. Has a new rival appeared?! 

Assorted Entanglements (manga) vol. 5 by Mikanuji

Kujo carries the weight of a friendship broken apart by unrequited feelings… Heke and Lala are afraid of their relationship changing, and neither wants to take the first step forward… Minami cries out in her sleep that she doesn’t have a place where she belongs, and Shizuku worries for her… The past makes each recall that to be together, to have a place where they are not alone, isn’t something to be taken for granted—so they must treasure the loves they have built. 

Chasing Spica (manga) vol. 1 by Chihiro Orihi

Nekozuka Serina isn’t satisfied. Even though she’s fashionable, popular, and smart to boot, she’s always found herself gnawing at the heels of the cold and condescending public morals officer Tachibana Reiko. With them now in their third year and a scholarship on the line, Serina must finally defeat Reiko and get the highest exam results in their grade. It’s easier said than done! That is until Serina snaps a photo of Reiko visiting a love hotel late at night with an unknown woman and hatches a plan…

Cheerful Amnesia (manga) vol. 3 by Tamamushi Oku

The loss of Arisa’s memories has still has her girlfriend Mari worried, but Arisa herself is cheerfully enjoying their lovey-dovey days together. That said, there are certain things couples do together—things Arisa no longer has any experience with. Can she step up to the plate and give Mari what she wants?!

Cover My Scars With Your Kiss (manga) vol. 2 by Io Amaki

Seiichi Kurusu and Nao Seto are officially dating and living together.

Even though they share a home now, their busy jobs have made it difficult for them to spend time together. When Seiichi reveals that his father has been trying to set him up with marriage interviews, Nao realizes that he doesn't want to let Seiichi go. With Seiichi's position as the eldest son set to inherit his father's company, will they be able stay together forever?

I Want to Be a Wall (manga) vol. 3 by Honami Shirono

*Final volume*

Gaku and Yuriko prepare to face the final hurdle of their newlywed life—meeting Gaku’s grandmother! But as they do, the pair are forced to consider exactly what kind of relationship they want to have and what kind of life they want to build together…

Love is an Illusion (manhwa) vol. 6 by Fargo

When Hye-sung’s name and photo are published in the news, neither he nor Dojin expect that it will bring long-lost relatives into their lives. Even though it’s been years since Hye-sung spoke to his parents, he’s forced to confront the hard truths of his troubled past. In the face of such trauma, can he endure for Dojin and Byul’s sake? Or is the terrified omega about to make another daring escape? Meanwhile, all Hye-sung and Dojin’s friends are settling down. Find out what’s ahead for the beta couples in the latest volume of the hit Boys’ Love webtoon!

Mitsuka (manga) vol. 3 by akabeko

Leo is host at a nightclub, and he always thought he had no interest in men — until he slept with Takahiro, a sex worker who introduced him to pleasures he'd never felt before. Now, sex with women doesn’t satisfy him, and after begging Takahiro to sleep with him again, they agree to a “friends with benefits” arrangement.

But just when Leo thinks he may be falling in love, one of his best customers asks him to sleep with her. Takahiro catches him in the act, and things take a dark turn…

The Other World's Books Depend on the Bean Counter (novel) vol. 2 by Yatsuki Wakatsu

After getting accidentally summoned to another world, former office worker Seiichiro ends up becoming extremely close with the handsome knight commander Aresh—although what exactly that means remains ambiguous, even after they begin living together. Just as that’s happening, Seiichiro meets a priest who reminds him a bit of Aresh. When Aresh returns from his latest expedition, will he find a rival waiting for him?

Pandora in the Crimson Shell: Ghost Urn (manga) vol. 18 by Masamune Shirow and Rikudou Koushi

Now that the Bydo virus has been removed from Phobos’s system—and with it, Labrys’s brainwashing—Phobos faces Clarion again to try and regain the peaceful life she once had. Meanwhile, Poseidon’s evil tendrils are creeping closer and closer to the Korobase estate!

Senpai, This Can’t Be Love! (manga) by Shinta Harekawa

Friendly, confident, amazing at his job…All words applicable to veteran CG designer Yanase who was asked to teach the hardworking new hire, Kaneda, the ropes! Although excited about the prospect, he begins to lose heart in the face of Kaneda’s frosty indifference. However, on the inside, Kaneda’s been struggling to play it cool whenever Yanase so much as pats him on the back…

Shonen Note: Boy Soprano (manga) vol. 8 by Yuhki Kamatani

The only constant in life is change, and now the entire town of Kawami is forced to accept that reality. After the dismal results of the vote on the industrial waste disposal facility, everyone is lost in a fog of disappointment--Everyone, that is, except for the City Opera. As the saying goes, the show must go on, and the City Opera troupe hopes to lift the town's spirits with music. But will Yutaka be able to recover from Midori's shocking confession that his singing scares her…? After a long journey of self-discovery, Yutaka finally came to terms with who he was--as a boy, a singer, and a boy soprano. But now facing Midori’s words, will he gather the strength to press onward, or will all his growth come crashing down in a chaotic crescendo?

There's No Freaking Way I'll Be Your Lover! Unless… (manga) vol. 5 by Teren Mikami and Musshu

Sena Ajisai, the angel of the school, always seems to Renako like she has everything together. But this illusion is shattered during a Mai-sanctioned visit to Ajisai’s house where Renako witnesses her normally sweet-natured friend get into a fight with her family. Later, when Ajisai declares over the phone that she’s running away from home, it’s up to Renako to keep her friend from doing something she’ll regret!

This Monster Wants to Eat Me (manga) vol. 1 by Sai Naekawa

“I’ve come to eat you.” So softly utters the mermaid Shiori, as she emerges from the sea and takes high school girl Hinako by the hand. Hinako lives alone in a town by the sea, and possesses an unusually delicious body that is irresistible to nearby monsters. To ensure that she matures to the best condition, Shiori seeks to protect Hinako—all so that someday, she can devour every piece of her. What will become of Hinako’s feelings as this looming unjust death closes in on her…?

The Witches' Marriage (manga) vol. 3 by studio HEADLINE

Though the original purpose of her marriage was to open the doors of truth and reunite with her mistress, the cold and beautiful witch Melissa finds herself more and more drawn to the kindness of her partner and apprentice, Tanya. After surpassing various challenges in The WMC (Witches’ Marriage College) together, Melissa and Tanya finally reach the last trial, but then…

[ego-osbourne]

*holds out a cup, like a beggar asking for bread crumbs* Spare written tips? Spare writing tips?

I saw your post on TDI outline(100? Chapters?!?!), also I'm in the miraak discord and saw your streams couple things outlining them.

I just... I feel so stupid, and I can't seem to get into writing(I know it gets easier with time, but). I can't seem to get past 1k to 2k words at a time in each chapter (if at all), and I'm not very articulate. 😭😭😭😭 How do you do it?

Genuinely though I’m sorry to say I have very few tips when it comes to writing. My process is long and slow. TDI is the first story I’ve done of this magnitude, and I haven’t had any story material to post since… 2020? (In which I deleted that story anyway).

Long text below

Purely, TDI is a passion project. I’m taking my time on it just to check and recheck things. I do what I like to the extent of my happiness, and that happens to be writing an extensive, lore-heavy, triple-checked story. I’d thought about TDI long before I wrote anything down, and truly, that first hurdle of just writing something is the biggest one. I’ve deleted drafts that don’t work, outlines that don’t work, idea lists, etc. etc. 75% of the process is just finding a system you like, in my experience. Once you find that, the next battle turns into actually figuring stuff out and jotting it down.

You’ll have rewrites, and scrapped chapters, and plot holes, and frustrating lore, ESPECIALLY if you’re basing it off of TES lore. Sometimes you won’t even like writing. That’s okay. No one is forcing you to do this if it’s a passion project. You’re your own boss, don’t beat yourself up for not getting something done or not finishing something quickly if it becomes enough of a chore to inhibit you. Writing takes a hell of a lot of time.

My 100+ chapter fic is not great because it’s 100+ chapters. A long story doesn’t mark a good one, a short story doesn’t mark a bad one. That’s just an option to choose, a flavor you like, whatever works best for you. Good stories come from passion, interest, and skill. And you can only hone your craft if you mess up first.

That’s the best advice I can give in terms of writing. I have never stuck with one singular process when writing. It changes every so often, and it changes due to my needs. It can do the same for you.

Best of luck on your endeavors! I hope my words are at least encouraging if not helpful.

[cerastes]

My current biggest hurdles are getting my AC to move how I want it to--specifically EN management and verticality. The tutorial boss felt like I was using all my energy just strafing and listening to Walter tell me to get off the ground. I did learn to be more aggressive and win, but the follow up training and missions hasn't really given me more opportunity to practice.

Second hurdle is how to better recover and avoid getting staggered myself beyond never get hit. Threading the needle between using energy to not get hit but also using it to close the distance and get in the kills/damage I need to finish a mission. Outside of AC I like mobile close-range and/or long-range play styles.

The tutorial chopper is pretty demanding for new players, so don't let it discourage you. The "best solution" to it, in the tutorial Loader-4, is to Assault Boost at it when it's just using its machine guns (ie not shooting direct rockets at you). Putting that on quotations because Hey, As Long As It Works. When Walter tells you to get off the ground, it's specifically to avoid the splash of the telegraphed rockets, not necessarily to stay on the air at all times.

Now, basically, you have to treat being off the ground as an action phase for you: You are using resources to stay afloat, and it gives you better innate evasion and maneuvering, plus any benefit that altitude differences might give you over an enemy, if you were previously level with them (keep this in mind), but of course, it comes at the cost of not being able to stay in that state forever. This is in contrast with how in For Answer, you could just perpetually fly if you built that way (and even get Quick Boost chains in for reasonably long), which I mention just in case you've heard of that and were wondering what's up with that in 6. So, in the chopper fight, for example, you only really want to leave the ground when it's shooting rockets at you, if you need it for the extra maneuvering to dodge missiles, and to attack. Being off the ground isn't an offensive phase or a defensive phase, it's an action phase: You can do more things in general, for both offensive and defensive ends. It must be treated as such.

Don't look at Quick Boosts as your Soulsborne i-frame roll or quickstep, look at Quick Boosts as, again, an action: It can be used for breakneck evasive actions when you need it to be that, but also, it can be your way in to your ideal range, whether that's pulling away or going in. Spamming QBs is going to eat your energy, and thus, your action resources. Learn to move and evade without the use of QB, and to use QBs when it's 'right' to do so.

Are you noticing a pattern here? Your resource, EN, is not a defensive tool, or an offensive tool exclusively, it's both. The tempo in Armored Core comes from knowing how to flow freely in action, using it offensively, defensively, and both simultaneously as the fight calls for it. Try to internalize that. If you see a barrage of missiles homing on to you from an angle, you could QB to avoid it, but that'll take EN, which doesn't recover as fast in the air as it does on the ground. Instead, you have to try to use your normal boosting movement to move in a way that the missiles miss, such as crossing past them as close to them as you can afford so they can't physically home in on you and hit you. Find the right range relative to your enemy that afford you being able to strafe around them in a ring without their shots hitting you. Armored Core is about finding out things about the specific fight you're currently in, and there's no universal formula for that, but there is a number of good habits that will let you find out the information you need ASAP so you can adjust to it. Am I getting hit a lot while boosting? Is this mitigated by QBing? What do I QB at and where? Does it benefit me to have an altitude difference? How much does it benefit me to be above the enemy? Things like this.

Both hurdles are tied to this, because learning your use of resources and your movement will invariably result in getting hit less or not in any significant amount of times that you'll get ACS broken. "Threading the needle between using energy to not get hit but also using it to close the distance and get in the kills/damage I need to finish a mission" this is pretty much what you have to learn, but also, always keep in mind that your enemy plays by the same rules as you do: They have reload times, they have limited actions, they have to consider the exact same things you need to consider, and are punished for the same failings. Knowing when to use your EN to focus on evasion or for going in is exactly what you should be trying to learn, and it becomes easier when you realize you DON'T need to be QBing all the time, just regular, smart movement and changes in altitude are enough most of the time. QBs eat your energy fiercely.

To get a handle of movement and economy of action, I recommend these loadouts:

With Weapon Bay: Right hand Assault Rifle, Linear Rifle, or Machine Gun, right shoulder missiles launcher/Left hand Shotgun or Machine Gun, left shoulder melee weapon of your choice

Without Weapon Bay: All the same but decide whether you want to keep the left hand firearm or melee weapon, then left shoulder another Missile Launcher or Grenade Cannon.

Simple but effective loadouts that give you close range agency, aren't prohibitively expensive so you can stay mobile, and can dive in and bail out while staying relevant in offensive terms. This may seem a lot at once, but take it at your own speed and once it clicks, trust you me that it'll click.

[boomer293]

Congratulations Between Friends

Short story propaganda featuring Wilder and @tatonslice 's Galacchio for this year's @kirbyoctournament ))

Galacchio stared in complete disbelief at the results of their round one group. Wilder was right, he made it through. Not only that, but he had won by a landslide.

"Atta boy! I told ye people'll love ye!" Wilder quickly appeared behind his friend and gave them a pat on the back, laughing.

"A-Ah! Wilder! Don't scare me like that." Galacchio adjusted his hat after jumping in surprise.

"I can't help it, just look at dat! Ye did it partner! What? Can I not come over to congratulate my best friend?"

"I guess not, still, keep it down a bit..."

"Fine...." Wilder fiddled with his whip, wrapping it back up after it had came undone. "How was it buddy? I still didn't see ya around much these past few days."

"It was terrifying! I don't know how I won when I avoided anyone I saw..."

"What! Still not trying to meet anybody? What about yer opponent? Didja not talk to em'?"

"...No, I...got too nervous..." Galacchio rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, looking down ashamed.

Wilder quickly put a hand on his forehead and sighed. "What am I going to do with you, boy..."

"Hey!-"

"No heys, Galacchio! You gotta at least congratulate your opponent!" Wilder interrupted.

"Fine...I'll go find them later."

"We'll find then later buddy, I don't trust ya to actually go and do it."

"W-Who do you take me for, Wilder! I-I'm not just going to flake out on that!" Galacchio stomped his foot in flustered frustration, Wilder could learn to be a bit less blunt now and then.

"Buddy, yer so flakey that I could touch yer cloak and 'ave it crumble."

"Says the one with the whip that's falling apart!"

"No way! It's just a style thing!"

"As if! I-I've seen straws more durable than that!"

"Whatever, wizzrobe!

"Alright, McCree!"

Both of them devolved into a fit of giggles, throwing a few more playful jabs at each other before turning back to the results of Galacchio's group.

"Still...I don't understand why I made it through, I wasn't even going to be here originally." Galacchio stared at nothing in particular.

"That don't matter! You won in the end, first round's always the biggest hurdle!" Wilder winced as he said that, knowing it was one he couldn't overcome himself.

"Well...it was really because of you." Galacchio turned back to Wilder.

"Ah! What did I tell ya 'bout selling yerself short!"

"But really, Wilder! You're the one who invited me in the first place, you're the one who's been running around telling people about how awesome I am, you're the one keeping me here..." Galacchio shushed Wilder before he could retort. "Wilder, thank you, I thought I'd be done for already."

Wilder just tipped his hat, smiling. "Aw, shucks. Someone had to do it, partner, it ain't a problem."

"No one had to it, Wilder, you just did it anyways. That's what I want to thank you for."

"Seriously buddy, I didn't even think twice."

Galacchio laughed, a genuine, tender smile on his face. "I think that's one of the few times your impulsiveness worked out."

"Never doubt me partner! This here gut o' mine never leads me wrong!"

"Except that one time when you threw yourself into the-"

"HEY HEy hey! We don't talk 'bout dat right?"

"Ahaha! You might not, but it's my favourite story to tell!"

"Well I ain't going around tellin' everyone bout the time you fell asleep during-"

"W-W-Wait! Ok, I see your point now." Galacchio rushed to interrupt what Wilder was about to say, their flustered reaction getting Wilder to chuckle.

"Or what about the time when visiting your momma when you-"

"W-Wilder! Save it for when we're gonna face each other, alright?" Galacchio stumbled, unaware that what they said wouldn't ever happen as Wilder looked down.

"Yeah...about that, buddy. You ain't seen the results o' the other groups, have ya?"

Galacchio tilted his head, he didn't really think to check. After all, the only person he was really rooting for was Wilder, and there was no way he'd lose with the amount of charisma he has. He was the one who got Galacchio his win after all. "No? I mean, you won by a landslide right?"

"Well...buddy, the thing is-"

"I mean, I got through Round One by a lot, there's no way you didn't completely dominate it-"

"Galacchio, listen to me...I don't know what to tell you-"

"You're funny, really nice, everybody you meet loves you. You make people smile, you just ooze charisma, there's just no way you'd lose and I'd win."

Galacchio started talking over Wilder, he did not want to believe it. He understood what Wilder was trying to say, but he just couldn't believe it. He needed Wilder to still be in the running, he needed Wilder to keep fighting for the both of them, he needed to believe that Wilder was going to the next round with him.

"Galacchio, I lost."

Everything came crashing down like a ton of bricks, for the both of them.

"W-W-What?"

"I'm out buddy, lost Round One."

"You mean...I'm...there's..." Galacchio suddenly brought Wilder into a hug, and Wilder dropped his whip is surprise. "I'm so sorry, I should've helped you as much as you helped me."

"Hey...partner, it's ok..." Wilder tried to convince Galacchio, but it was clear he was downtrodden from his defeat.

"It's not ok! I should've done something. I know how much you were looking forward to this!"

"It's not dat big a deal...really...I'm fine."

"Wilder, I can tell you're not..."

"But what am I supposed to do 'bout it? 'M out o' the runnin'! Das it, bar's closed, git out!" Wilder was angry, he lost by the smallest percent, just a few more could have made the difference, but now he's done. Truth be told, he'd been angry since he first found out, even when he came over to congratulate Galacchio on his win, he was angry.

"Wilder...they aren't throwing you out...you can still have fun, right? Isn't that what you came for? Not t-to win...but to have fun."

After lashing out, Wilder quickly calmed himself down. Galacchio was right, just because he lost, that doesn't mean he's done with this.

"Well...I guess I'll be a part of yer entourage den! Yer still in, so that practically counts fer both o' us, right?"

"Wilder...I didn't mean it like that...I just mean you could keep running around and talking to people like you usually do."

"Well, too bad! I'm now team Galacchio's number one fan!"

Galacchio sighed and face palmed. Wilder's ability to rebound from a bad mood was astounding to him. "You really...really don't have to do that!"

"Too bad! M' already making banners!"

"Wilder!"

"I can see it now, you walkin' in to the finals, people following behind ya with flags, banners and other such things!"

"Oh please god no...I don't think I could handle that."

"Welp! Ye better learn! Cause now I'm gonna do everything in my power to make dat happen!"

Galacchio grumbled as Wilder put a hand around his back, pulling them in while laughing heartily. It's good to know that Galacchio's got the support he needs, for better or for worse.

[meanbossart]

hi. I'm a huge fan of your work. I've been following you since before sad sack even came out. I was around for the very first teasers of it. I am very young... definitely i was too young to be reading sad sack when I was. but I'm an adult now so whatever, harm done. I'm a novelist. you are really one of my greatest artistic inspirations.

I guess my question that I want to say is... how do you finish stories? I have a million started but I always get this horrible voice in my head telling me that it's not worth it to finish, that the next project I do will be better, but I know I'm at the point in my journey where I need to just get something done. how do you do it? do I just need time? do I need to get a little older? do I need to keep failing until I succeed?

thank you so much for everything that you've done, your art brings me so much joy and comfort. many, many times your comics have made me feel like I wasn't alone. please keep doing what you're doing, because I love it, just for me lol.

Hey! This has sat in my inbox for a while i know, to be completely honest it just never feels great to know someone was exposed to my adult work before they should have been, and it can feel like im walking a tenuous line in acknowledging that it happens and not... Doing something about it? Though im not sure what that something would be. I will take your word for it that you are an adult now and as you said, the harm was already done. Im not happy about it but nothing can be done about it now i guess.

I do sincerely appreciate your kind words about mine and Nick's work and I'm glad it's brought you joy, and i hope you were always able to enjoy it with a critical eye too.

As for your question, there is truly no easy answer there or A to B guide that will get you past this hurdle - some people work on years and years on the same thing before releasing it, other's just pump their first work to get it out of the way and while it may not be great, at least its done. Regardless, once you get one thing finished, you will come to realize that its easy to finish others, too. I think regardless of what you do though, you will never look back on your very first work and be happy with it, so its my personal opinion that while you should do your best, you should make peace with the fact that it will not be your best, and that's okay.

As for what I would personally do? Pick something, something short, and something fresh, dont start with that massive story you've been workshopping for 15 years. Start with something you can whip up in a year at the VERY most, something you are currently passionate about, something that interests you right this second. Draft it as quick as you can so you know how it starts and how it ends, and then set yourself up with a schedule to finish it - you don't have to abide by it 100%, but if you give yourself all the time in the world to work on it, you might end up taking up your own offer. If you have a deadline, even if made up, you will have to force yourself to move on when you come across something you aren't entirely happy with instead of becoming stuck on it for days, frustrated, and then proceeding to abandon it as you might have done before. I repeat - you will never be entirely happy with how your first work turns out. So focus on being passionate, proud, and absolutely committed to making it happen at all, instead.

I hope this has helped you at all, im both sorry that you ended up looking at our nasty stuff before you should have and also, again, genuinely glad you find inspiration in it now as a grown person. I wish you the best of luck in your journey as a creator!

[toinfinitywinning]

this is get to know you time. the cringy name game at every camp in the world you do with toilet paper. enough.

Conversations and thoughts resembling the same level of random and incongruence of my Apple Music library. like Josh Groban is to Eminem: Mercy Me. a lot about everything that’s not a hashtag bc it just needs more attention.

Let the first (post) be first:

Hi. I’ve never done this before (like a seriously grown up blog on purpose. Just when just followed sad somewhat desperate poetry with a random live-laugh-love meme in there somewhere.) and Pitch Perfect.

BUT.

For 2 years I’ve had Long-Haul COVID. It’s a different kind of lonely

Thanks so much, amirite? —Gen-Z apologies if I didn’t use that jumbled acronym-word correctly.

It’s hard to keep up.

See? What am I talking about now and how did I get there…

Due to a very common symptom of LHC…

Again—hard to keep up. It’s there. Tho

And I have a lot of quirk so it’s possible I think you’ll “get” but are just nice not to tell me

BUT.

It’s already gone. Train left the Station yesterday.

Slipped on a penny.

Not Good. not even funny.

Teens with the gorgeous graffiti have to Go elsewhere. I’ve always been jealous of that kind talent.

Whole lot better than something else shiny thrown on the track and it’s derailed. There’s at least some innocence in a paint can.

WOW.

I have major attention and Brain Fog hurdles to conquer or shortly bypass. You might not be able to tell b/c of how My writing jumps around so infrequently.

Not true but still easier.

Mostly innocent and playful.

Sadly the attention part is this many years young.

Writing comes naturally. As it always has, strangely...

And why is healing so exhausting? Writing is therapeutic but My body says—can you not?

i know im not the only one asking that!

As if I have time for that too.

find a community of people suffering just as similarly and gain strength, tips and tricks.

Just, speak-screen edit my writing for me. Maybe a clarification fact-✔.

Just not wherever Tr*mp gets his.

Could be Truth Social. Monthly fee tho will cost you your Red Hat.

MYGAbad

Speaking I struggle with processing w/e skills I must have held onto.

BUT.

Since 2 years is quite. some. time.—I’ve shared many struggles and victories.

Like a Bell curve. Or a punk Domino falling then lining them up takes longer just to go down again in half the time. Repeat.

It’s very likely I Will try to talk about many things at once.

I really can’t help that. LOL.

Jury’s still out but I get most of my writing and miscellaneous musings from mom.

Dad can write the best, longest, and precious prayers and notes.

Almost delicately but like you KNOW he’s giving you a hug.

A Good mix tape’s paper Version.

Enter Run on sentences. Truly a stream by now.

Although my brain muscle is weak I’ve been encouraged by several people to Start a blog. Someday I’ll include the past 2 years of w/e pics are on other SocMed.

I can’t think of anything worse.

Yea, okay LOL.

Judgment free. Occasionally… like normal doses then have to work through that.

Mostly that’s because I knew nothing about anything before I opened My computer and started sharing My thoughts under zero context ridden or form at all.

More likely as well to offend and piss someone off. Well done you’re now one less friend popular. There’s an App for that tho-tracking people Who don’t like you.

Not sure where I’ll land with this. It may not land you either.

Because like a lot of us. Sometimes you don’t get to talk actually. No Room.

I like routine; that’s out. So it gets dull.

I’ve learned I hadn’t yet given myself the space to see all of things I can do sitting down.

But. By “given” I mean to say that perhaps I didn’t know it was there.

One Good thing I’ve gathered from this Hell.

Hell fresh by the Day! Never frozen.

So at that time and in this case of my life; sitting is fine.

Some of it isn’t too bad. The writing. You will find questionable punctuation. Run on sentences that I was running.

Relevance at all.

All around Confusion…altho connect the dots could have been seen as practice.

Or annoying even. I’d have no words.

I truly don’t set out to be funny. I could never do stand-up or improv. Or act.

Humor forced just takes and receives too much energy that might come off insincere.

Nothing on command.

Like Matt Perry’s brilliant improv wit it just doesn’t hit the same.

B/c it was scripted.

A syllabus for it Imagine.

The horn to jump off the swim block.

It’s when Life feels more scripted a lot of people close up.

That’s because you’re not in charge anymore. I’ve lost the Power.

Don’t prefer caring about whether someone likes me like I used to.

I believe you can snooze me for 30 days or say ‘I’m done w/ her’ and send Me to the cyberarchives.

Okay. Okay.

So—90% of the time I’m witty and sarcastic with a bit of cynicism, discomfort (for you), and pettifogging.

I write primarily about the questions of intersectionality.

How do things fit.

Let’s Fit it.

Until I figured out physics and calculus and basic math were behind a career in architecture and the classes I would have to take, I enjoyed taking things apart to make something else.

Not always pretty.

Could be Good what I took apart was the best thing we can’t see.

Like I’m writing questions but with wisdom not meaning to do that either,

A lot of people don’t like that. You do you! Baby.

I don’t mean to be at all harsh or hurtful. I try not to say that anything vainly.

I say it b/c a lot of what I’m writing is all of every piece of stream of consciousness tallied.

And it was a synapse connecting another.

Maybe that’s the creative part? The other side of My Brain is telling Me to ✔ on the other side so I’m like…crickets.

What I write is stream of consciousness, brutally honest and to some might be lightly offensive. In College writing this Way would’ve absolutely driven Me crazy.

Then life steps in and bonks u on the head with a newspaper but 15 years later returns the favor with an iPhone.

Or too blunt. And comes across as harsh. And that’s mostly because if I don’t have an emoji to match my real-life broken ღ I’m breaking up with you.

Self reflection: impulsive

I used to journal so much growing up.

When did I lose that innocence?

We can’t talk about folding paper into cranes and witchcraft finger fortune games anymore?

No more MASH?

Huh, maybe you weren’t born this Way. Ur Parents just drew circles nearest each other or your apple stem twist broke too soon and you want a partner whose name starts with P.

Very often I overshare. If you’re reading this this is not brand new information. No ability to say things simply. Think I’ve already. That can put me really vulnerable to more bitcoin hacks.

And then you need to figure out what bitcoin is. And whether Mario can collect coins as well in place of the hackers.

I’d say ask Tom Brady b/c of his investments but since retirement he’s been pretty deflated.

Mean people that mean to hurt.

First of all I feel sorry for you. Not in a poor you tho.

People Who hurt on purpose don’t often have any Way to vent or get a rise other than evoke feelings in and deflect toward a schoolmate.

Skip back to the part I tried talking about vulnerability. It truly is the invisible cloak and no one can see you but nothing makes sense still and you’ve only fixed what’s on the outside. Now you’re peeved AND cloaked.

At this conjunction junction next I’d suggest try shopping at Target opposed to Abercrombie then.

Feet in the water right above bankruptcy to see how things could be different only what…if?

Good ♧ seriously.

So there’s more grace given when you fall. When it’s not your month Day or even year!

Nobody is there for you!!

And My cloak is getting rained on.

Maybe gathering strength from falling will come a common sense with a 6th one but with seriously meaningful things I’ve learned and less hard knock’s Life for us.

The hard Way.

The bottom’s still there and it actually stinks stinks. Discouraging b/c there are two sides to the bottom of the cave full of stalagTITES and mites.

All the up’s and down’s. Right there. And the COVID-19 bat OMG!

You know you may not be able to fall any further further but once you’re up again you’re wondering whether you should get some cement to close that thing off.

Choose to live! But welcome to the real world—it sucks—ur gonna Love it.

Almost 4got. In the cave you dont always have to wait for Jesus to be resurrected if that metaphor comforts you but if change comes and it requires a whole new worm can of Life we already can’t handle that gets us outta the dank I don’t think we need to ask permission to the rights of that Bible passage.

BUT.

Until YOU are ready for change...

Forget it. At least you meant well. Someone can guide that horse to water but it stays pretty hydrated, so he says he’s Good. Promise. The only talking animal and it was Me Who got to hear it. More importantly, who’s gonna ☊? Care? There’s a country song finding out Who your Friends are. A lot stay lost and it’s not helpful all our Friends aren’t the same.

Missing a Good chance to find out if you’re in a similar predicament and that not always a bad thing.

At times I have literally had to be lifted off the floor.

I don’t do this at all for pity. As you read, My Pride is the biggest obstacle to let Go.

When you do?

The hard way through this.

I am angry and irritable for bouts. Sometimes I’m silly and invite karma punishments.

Go all Brimstone and every type fire and the Old Testament has nothing New-thinking and no one new to add to it. SMH. Nail a list on the wooden church door reading it is nearing endgame. Or, Just open your hotel drawer and tear out the back half.

So change then— If it were Me and it has been just not an actual hole I’d be outta there due to the spiders and crickets alone. Jiminy’s Cool.

If u can’t change and just stay a novice bunny hill—fine! Stay there. Build some confidence through experience.

And isn’t that another thing? Something specific motivates the fire under your (cuckoo!) and before you’d see the dark without any End of the tunnel and more importantly with the light aspect. All the sudden you care b/c what? It applies to you of course be selfish. Fascinating yet humbling.

Then there’s the ‘Why Me’ (?) phase? Not fully pitiful but just pretentious enough to resume the trailblaze. Bad attitude with a healthy dose of are we there yet and trying to Balance whether someone is saying …’they get it; you always feel bad’ so…KY Basketball banter? Ashamed accompanies too bc thing is a few times I did kind of scoff at phrases like I always feel bad. Like, here’s 2 Extra strength Tylenol.Alright, Ok, come test for Covid 1/29/22. It shouldn’t take going through something to empathize with or change but you could’ve listened for longer with a clear mind. Just cannot wrap your head around it and I think sometimes that’s okay. What’s next I’ll try so hard.

+ It’s 12:01am of 1/29/24 (so last night), you still can’t do math and/or struggle to add or subtract 12 so aren’t entirely sure its your sophomore year orientation, and you already surrender to what you didn’t want to get up for in the first place. Kind of silly u set the alarm! B/c Pain, confusion, Discomfort and a Deep loneliness that has very little to do with people awaits. That whole scenario is a disaster but look who’s standing and GOT. UP. period. 15 years ago that’s where I’d be. Just defeated.

THAT. Is enough some days. I say that to you struggling to believe the same but know Deep down.

Year 2 longhaul and youre wondering why there are anniversaries at all given about half are always sad or tragic. Evoking the worst on what could be the best. Might be something To think 2 minutes ago you’d ended your prayer to have a better Day. Of anything is true about everything happens for a reason I’d say having to chooose how to respond given you have the privilege at all to that just means were normal. B/c ill be honest I would not

I’m angry. WHAT is so complicated about your lack of Faith or belief prayer must go into an encrypted iCloud even the FBI can’t retrieve or interpret. Never had a chance! But I’ll add that it’s worth noting prayer doesn’t deal with its existence in transaction currencies..

Feel less Pain but feel more with it or stronger now. Or, just plain ‘ol numb. Similar to Addiction I suppose people get so used to being healthy one Way or another they don’t even notice better OR worse and no one is getting married.

Truth is.

Yea.

I’m in Hell, but I’m not on a ventilator. I’m not without relentless Support.

I still can smile but laugh just a bit before it hurts.

Something is always worse.

SomeONE is doing worse.

Somewhere and definitely rn.

I never knew I’d be dealing greed of perspective for this Long.

Something you’ll never find out about that changed your life’s trajectory where an explanation would have only confused things.

Then we still have the chance to be astonished and then genuine bc of that. Thankful. Expectant. With Faith somehow. Maybe carrying someone else’s Hope for a while might burden you less for a short time.

You dont need to see eye struggle and suffering. You dont need examples. You just know. There’s a fleeting peace u might not see again for 2 days but in knowing it’s not just you with the same bs going on.

Like here. Here is someone who needs support but in a different Way but how unique it could be to trade just for a bit. It’s not leg day this time remember u agreed a temp trade.

We don’t have to know everything. Most of the time I don’t give God the time to keep up w/ Me let alone do anything miraculous before I just hang up.

Although My Life was headed in a completely renewed direction in so many ways of recovery—

I got sick. Not because it was meant to be.

Because COVID. Possibly a rabid bat. Cracked vile or petri-dish

Everything does not happen for a reason and ppl dont like hearing that bc its an easy out. Says time might go on but this thorn wont ever heal. How do we respond? that’s the most authentic and a strength yes or no wand.

I hate cliché. Thing is tho…I think we all hate it b/c it doesn’t hold us accountable. Eh it’s fine.

Unfortunately we wouldn’t have the pretty, surprise, one of the Walk to Remember walks. All up to the of healing and forgiveness individual to each of us.

If for Me that means ive healed all I can and I’m counting on research to help Me out some more maybe I just keep going. Trust Me nothing is forgotten but you do know now that at least you were strong and capable enough to figure all that at all. And—I can do that. Some days aren’t that kind.

Maybe it becomes a goal we never anticipated but ✔ your resilience at the ticket line and saddle up, honey.this donkey only holds ____ lbs. let some things Go. That thing will still only walk in a circle but you’ve evenly distributed your baggage.

The feeling of pure joy. Which btw does still require a thesaurus b/c it is NOT the same as joy. Like a preventative Med to an acute one.

Then feel Accomplishment.

Not knowing what’s next but trying to be prepared.

It’s a surprise party we never RSVP’d and don’t regret it.

And it’s a Good thing u got outbid for that yacht.

Hell, tho, you won’t be forgotten but pushing helps the donkey move faster for now that is acceptable.

Unshun. Reshun. (This will make sense if you Watch the Office)

Flee fly. Be gone. Thankfully we hope to come out more resilient after the rip and tear and often not fully repaired sewing lessons.

But perhaps the biggest trait I’ve had to work on is My Pride. I want to do it.

I’ll give myself 3 strikes. 4 balls.

Then I walk to First.

Please do not get Me a gift.

I Love you and that was so sweet.

Would I be as generous?

Do u work, yea. It’s just one really hurts more and being tough isn’t tough at all if it’s not helping the worst hurt.

Those are sitting down, timeout thoughts.

The compression socks need to breathe.

But once the Pride slides over, let go, I get to know how it feels to very tangibly be taken care of and watched over.

Patience. The other side of a rant.

Later on that.

My main goal is to learn. Connect. Be called out if something comes off really tasteless.

Laugh at things that don’t have anything to do with being chronically sick. Laugh about what Medicine u had to administer and royally failed.

Sometimes all coupled with a handicap car-tag. No crutches either b/c I don’t like hearing I Will get better. It is a nice statement but it is impossible to be sure. Ive struggled with that b/c I know everyone believes that and means well I’ve just taken prior sick Gentry’s generalization and multiplied.

I am not making light. I think part of me is using the sarcasm as a coping mechanism.

Praise God there is something that does help the pain or at least distract from that Pain just not the one in your legs.

A codependency just a bit less severe. Embarrassing. Reason for judgment. Too easy.

If you can believe it—-I am not the same person I was 2 years ago.

For now I truly don’t know how. Pain can leave, anything traumatic can be worked on. You’ve got your scars.

I actually really think a scar is just unique as a snowflake or fingerprint. Telling so many stories. B/c a scar does mean something has healed. And it never forgets at one time it was painful. I’d prefer to see what I accomplish but I see wonder and beauty in them.

Things get pretty deep, complicated and downright pitifully sad. Vulnerable. Frighteningly true and relevant.

So I take what Good I can get in that day and pray those with LHC (Long-Haul COVID-19)

Be released.

However. On the flip tail’s side.

I’m 35 years aware there are some people who just don’t like me.

Until recently I wouldn’t have meant ‘sorry not sorry.’

I do now. To a respectable extent.

Reader discretion is advised. I promise I never set out to hurt anyone.

definitely not on purpose.

Because. Idgaf. Not bars being held. Que sera, sera.

complete transparency and seriously tho this doesn't mean i dont care. i wear my heart on my sleeve like a ding-dong ready to get hurt.

call it a diversion. we were on a break.

i just might take all of whatever hits wrong and turn that in to whatever ounce of assurance I can with the openness and to the best capability to learn new things and grow with compassion.

And back to writing—may already be just engrained but I don’t ever have a thesis, 3 supporting ideas or a better word then a conclusion.

You might find yourself confused. Reading it again prob won’t help.

Some will be really bad. Ugly. Waste of time. it was at least therapeutic for me.

Already is.

Even more might not make sense.

Read at your own risk, basically.

I have confidence but not really. Just enough not to care to change.

But I think about it. Because I’m wrong a lot.

challenge me. ill try to get through the fog.

But a lot of things have changed. in ways i might not even know Beauty in the Mess.

To sum up the above (sorry, there won’t be another summary after this disclaimer’s commercial intermission.)

I want to be as positive as possible.

Be in control of what I can. Ask for help for what I cannot.

I’m so ready to get My Life back. Trust Me and trust anyone Who tells your theyre in constant pain.

Really embarrassing I used to kind of scoff and be empathetic.

Funny how youre so sure of things.

Until it happens to you.

Suddenly it’s back to the drawing board and humility.

I wear my ღ on my sleeve. My greatest superpower and kryptonite.

What you read is as close to what you get as possible.

Balance can be unfair.

Please know that I care. I try harder than I ever had before. There are things I didn’t even Imagine could happen to someone when sick.

In all the ways I want to come out of this even better than what I envy I was entering into when I got sick.

There will be a WIDE range of thoughts similar to how i write. Mostly Sports and public figures and the politics I can comprehend.

B/c I know there’s someone out there who’s homeless because of this diagnosis. Or was deadly. Fired.

Divorced.

Ive become a bit of a nerd. Childish in some ways b/c you have to be creative…to be creative.

How do I even Start philosophizing that? So I don’t.

So I try My best to be the best I can. Inspire. Elicit laughter and new ways of thinking.

Questions.

Really tho? I just wanna be me.

thank you so sincerly to anything fromn a meme to a gift to a hug a prayer a smile, company, vibes if they can travel

but most of all

for holding hope when ive not been strong enough to.

For better or worse

for loving me.

making me feel heard.

idk what tomorrow holds but if its the same as today ill know at least i can make it and i am still beyond blessed and cared for and loved unconditionally.

even if forever.

wanna feel free, free.

to be me unabandoned.

changed for the better without knowing it.

some people dont have that option.

or even less the resource or safety to write about it.

Lastly mostly—I’m thankful for Insurance and the ability and privilege to work from home. And. Still have a job in general.

A Family and Family reserves holding me.

gentry.gonna.gents/g3

next. and if you made it this far, bless you.

thank you.

you mean more than you know to me. to anyone miscellaneous thanks as well and to my family and extended family and friends and job and insurance.

im in better shape than a lot. perspective sucks in the throes. selfish not selfish but my gosh turn the lights off. each journey is sooo different, but idk find the goodness and inspiration inbtw. There will be a rainbow soon enough, I wont make the bold claim and promise you one tho,

semi lastly and vulnerably, we've all been hurt. all going through something.

I say this every time something really bad happens. Ya know the ‘this is even worse,’ talk.

This one holds every candle.

Funny not funny none are the same and you’re never fully prepared.

and no one knows what it is you’re dealing.

give grace when I can’t sometimes.

cliché’s be damned lets just golden rule it b/c that one’s hard to do too but it sounds cute and Idont see a periodic table saying A! U! Be nice and welcoming.

I know I’ve forgotten something.

So I’ll fight.

But I still get to complain.

Feeling so entitled to this ill.

Sincerely,

Gentry

no ps you're welcome

[imabeautifulbutterfly]

Once Upon a Time on The Razor Crest

Summary: You and Din come to an agreement

A/N: Hello lovelies,

Another Friday, another part to the OUATOTRC. I do apologize if the chapters appear short, but with the crazy schedule for work, looking after my mom, I'd rather give short chapters than no chapters at all.

However, I am almost done the next section of Gym Membership, once it's completed I will be able to upload it, for you all. It'll be focusing on Crosshair.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend.

Love oo.

Due to the past history of the OC there will be discussions alluding to past domestic abuse, please note that as it could be a trigger for some.

Warning: mentions of past trauma, discussions of children, truth test, I think that's it. If I miss any please let me know.

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THE RAZOR CREST SEVEN

CHAPTER FIVE

There was no going back now that Din opened his mouth, “Why don’t we try it out for three months. Three months with no commitment or expectations. At the end, if either of us feel uncomfortable or we realize it’s not working, we move on. No harm done.”

“Really?” I couldn’t help the smile that broke out across my face.

“Yeah” he chuckled, matching my smile. “However there is still one hurdle you have to cross, and if you fail that, there’s nothing I can do. Fair?”

“Understood. What’s the final hurdle?”

“Oh well that’s for me to know and for you to find out. In the meantime, I’ll let you know our daily routine. We start every day at 5:30 a.m., no exceptions. My son has to be up that early for me to get him ready, fed, and off to school.”

“Even on the weekends?”

“Even on the weekends.”

“How old is your son?”

“Six”

“Grade One, right?”

“Yeah, you have kids?” Din tilted his head at the woman who surprised him.

“No”

“You good with kids?”

“Haven’t really been around them much” the experience I did have couldn’t even really amount to experience. My hand itched to rub my womb, the past making another appearance in my mind. Stop it. Focus.

Din simply nodded, it was a fair and honest answer, again she surprised him, “Lunch is usually around noon or one or sometimes not at all, depending on what I’m doing and where I am. Grogu usually gets home by four, we tend to eat dinner by six, and he’s promptly in bed by eight or nine, on the weekends I’ll let him stay up till about ten.”

“Understood”

“It’s a bit strict the timing, but I find it works best for him. He’s a bit of a hyper kid, always trying to get into trouble.”

Huh, that was different from what Cobb said, but then it wasn’t my place to say anything, “I get it, I was like that as a kid”

“Tell me something about yourself, if you’re going to be staying here, I would like to at least known something about the woman who will be looking after my son”

Made sense, as much as I didn’t want to reveal too much about my past and about myself in general, Din strangely made me feel safe. It was such an odd feeling, but a welcome one. 

“Umm… not much to tell, I’m 30. Single, obviously. Grew up on Saleucami, and just started moving around, basically that’s it.” To a degree what I said was true, certainly not gonna tell him what my name really was, that was more for his and his son’s safety.

“Where in Saleucami? My brother use to be stationed there”

“Oh nice, I lived closer to the mountainous regions of Saleucami”

“I think that’s where my brother was, he always mentioned a burger joint that was out there, that only the locals know”

“Eopie Burger” I responded, nodding my head.

“Yeah, pretty decent burgers he said”

“That is if you’ve never been to BurgerNuna. Awesome burgers, but then you also have Hamburger Nexu, those guys know how to layer. Anything else you want to test me on?” I smirked, I had a lot of fond memories of Saleucami; at least that was before I ended up on Coruscant and the nightmare my life turned into shortly after. 

“You catch on quick, gotta respect you for that” Din couldn’t help smirk at her, he didn’t think a city brat would’ve caught on to his test, but she saw right through his question. He had to hand it to her, she was starting to grow on him. 

I could understand why Din was being cautious, “Hey I get it, you have a six-year-old, I’m a stranger who walked in off the street with no credentials, no background, and you’re supposed to take my word for it. I would be cautious too.”

“Thanks.” Din took a moment to decide if he was going to go through with this, he didn’t get any sort of evil intentions coming from her, and Vanth would never allow anyone who could be a danger to eitherof them to come to his home, “Alright I guess I should show you to the room we prepared for whoever was going to take the job. It’s down here on the main floor. Family rooms are upstairs. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all, totally get it.” 

Din stood motioning for her to follow him. He didn’t believe a single thing she told him, but she was genuine about being from Saleucami, or at the very least was genuine about living there. He’d have to talk to Vanth later about who this woman truly was; he had a feeling she was one of Cobb’s special people, he pushed it to the back of his mind. 

The entrance to her room was just off the main hallway that connected to the foyer, “It’s just back here, the room isn’t overly furnished or anything, just basics,” Din opened the door turning on the light, “My brother stays here from time to time, so if you do find something … unsavoury, I apologize. I did clean it from top to bottom, but you know sometimes things get missed.”

I looked around the room, it was cozy, like he said it wasn’t overly furnished, but cozy. The fireplace was covered in white brick on the south wall, the window on the west side of the room was wide enough that you could sit and read on it if you wanted to, but it was in need of a cushion or something. There was a desk in the corner with a landline communicator, the bed on the opposite side of the fireplace was a nice full sized bed. The walls were a soft comforting grey colour with an accented yellow wall. 

The room was so different from all the cramped and shared spaces I’d been living in the past few years. It brought a tear to my eye.

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@littlemisspascal@sprout-fics@liadamerondjarin @badbatch-simp24 @spicymcnuggies @lady-ren @firstofficerwiggles @darkangel4121 @discofern @kavecika @monako-jinn-stories @ladykatakuri @avathebestx @theroguesully @furyhellfire66 @carodealmeida @ciramaris @twinkofthedink @dindjarin-mandalorian @tortor-mcgee

[missmaybe-not]

Dating Apps: Swiping Insanity Before the Fun

Hey Maybe Nots and Maybe Yeses! Welcome back to the wild world of online dating, where the journey to finding "the one" is often a hilarious, frustrating, and sometimes disconcerting adventure. 

Today, we're taking a break from date mishaps and diving headfirst into the messy jungle of online profiles before the actual dates even happen.

Let's be honest, dating apps are like catalogues – a never-ending parade of faces and bios with a healthy dose of "buyer beware." 

You craft your profile – a carefully curated selection of your best angles (the ones with your best features and that make you look flawless even though we all know that we're hiding that wrinkle or piece of fat that insists on popping up on our clothes no matter what) and hobbies. Some apps will also have fancy personality tests (a definite plus in my book!), and bam! You're ready to unleash yourself on the dating pool... or should I say, the dating swamp?

Because let me tell you, you'll find everything and anything in this virtual melange. Exes from your high school days resurfacing with questionable selfies? Check. Married people testing the waters? Definitely check. Then there are the profile ghosts – those elusive beings with zero photos or bios relying solely on the power of… faith? Look, I get it. Married folks might not want their significant others to stumble upon their profiles (maybe avoid being there all together and set things straight at home). But seriously, how do all the others expect to attract matches based solely on blind trust in the online dating gods?

Alright, let's move on to the profile pic enthusiasts (the ones who actually include pictures of themselves, bless their hearts!). Girls, we're notorious for mastering the art of the flattering filters (not that I used them, because I actually avoid filters!). But guys? It's a different story. Sometimes, it feels like they take selfies with a potato in dim lighting. Pro tip, fellas: take some time, experiment with angles, and trust me, the natural look is always a win. Nobody's perfect, but let's aim for "approachable" rather than "make-me-run-screaming."

So, you've swiped right (or left, depending on your fancy), and the magical match appears. Now comes the real gamble: who breaks the ice first? More often than not, the pressure lands on you, lovely ladies. And guess what? If you don't take the initiative, Mr. Match might ghost you faster than a free donut at a police station. Some other times the conversations fizzle out faster than a damp firework, leaving you wondering if you even sparked anything at all. But fear not, love warriors! Every now and then, a diamond in the rough emerges. Someone who can banter, hold a conversation that goes beyond basic small talk, and actually makes you laugh. Then comes the date-planning hurdle – aligning schedules, finding the perfect spot… it's like trying to herd a bunch of cats (have you tried doing that? Yeah.). When the stars finally align and you get to meet, a lot can happen (I mean, have you read my past blog entries?). 

Speaking of possibilities and complications, a potential new connection is simmering on the back burner, with an added twist – a different country is involved! Will this lead to a hilarious first date mishap or a blossoming romance across borders? Stay tuned in a week or two to find out!

So, onto those burning questions: would you swipe right for a profile with no picture or generic scenery shots? And if your date doesn't quite live up to their profile's expectations (photos or personality), would you give them a chance or call it quits on the spot? 

Let's hear it in the comments, friends! Spill the tea on your dating app adventures, mishaps, and maybe-nots-turned-maybe-yeses! Until next time, keep swiping, keep hoping, and may the odds be ever in your favour!

Photo by Nik on Unsplash

[tojisun]

sun sun! can u give me some advice? IF NOT U CAN DISCARD THIS IGNORE IT AND ILL UNDERSTAND!!!

how do u meet people and talk to ppl and go on a date or something w them? i sound like im an alien but im literally too socially anxious (im sociable and get along well w ppl, but struggle heavily with approaching), self-conscious, n inexperienced to know what to do. i wanna make new friends and potentially date someone :<

(also did u get my last message in response to ur reply? or did tumblr eat it like a poopyhead?)

my love omg i have no game whatsoever so i cant *really* help u. my confidence is the size of an apple which is already a lot for me tbh bc it has to contend with my anxiety so my days are a cesspool of “i can do this… but what if i cant” energy LMFAO 🥲

AND IM LITERALLY LIKE THAT TOO OMG like im sociable bc i get adopted by extroverts but i cant approach on my own. and if i do, i find myself having so little i can even talk about past the surface level questions :((

to add, my prev partners were all my friends so i never really had the experience of asking out people and then going on dates to see if we’re gonna work out 😭

although i started mimicking my extroverted friends! theyre not extrovert in the archetype way wherein theyre bubbly or just so energetic? but theyre so proactive in making the conversation going and cementing a bond!

since i think you and i are alike (wherein our issue lies on the approaching part), id let u know what i do instead of what they do!

i started pretending to have confidence in what i say. for example in school? my current school friend and i started hanging out bc i went up to them and went “hey, just wondering if u read the readings yet?” (and then we snowballed there teehee they did actually read it so thats cool as we were able to have a discussion about the topic but even when they didnt, i just end up steering the conversation to something ik we both know—the lecture! it was what started our friendship, but we also began to talk about other things until we were sharing our interests with each other!)

work? same thing! i start with work related topics (i work at a firm so it usually is always our clients hehehe) and then i’d invite them for coffee or lunch! im blessed to have coworkers close to my age which makes it a lot easier to poke on interests. i asked her if she’s seen this video on tiktok (it was something about that love surge couple i think) and she did so we were also able to expand our conversation out of work!

the highlight is that i bullshitted my confidence until it eventually started feeling normal :’)

im sorry that this isnt a sound advice :((

of course its still so important to stay true to yourself and im not telling u to be fake and to not be urself! but faking confidence i think is different bc, for me, its grappling with the hurdle (my anxiety) and training myself until im eventually used to it! im still not 100% the one taking the first step but when i do, im glad that i did :’)

(now for relationships… yea that i got nothing 😭 im so sorry)

but um yea! im sorry for the rambling. it just made me realize how much more work i need to put into myself too!

take care my love and i wish you the best and kindest and loveliest ever!!!

-

(i just checked and i received ur other ask!! im sorry, im kinda swamped rn so my responses have been going down the drain dhejjd but i’ll reply to it too! thank u sm for ur kindness and love <333)

[essektheylyss]

im going a little crazy but huuuuuuge respect gained for you (and all writers, really) im taking a short story class and im fighting for my life out here. deadlines today so it probably won’t matter that much but how do you not despise what youre writing while writing. drawing’s like ok yea ok this is fine but writing. oh my god. :(

Hello! Deadlines are the worst, so sending some solidarity. (Also huge respect for you as an artist! I tend to feel the opposite—I can usually find some reason to keep a piece of writing but the number of times I want to kick a drawing to the curb entirely is HIGH.)

This is a really hard hurdle to get past though, and I don't think there's really a point where any writer always clears it. I recall, if I remember correctly, a pretty prolific writer (possibly Neil Gaiman but don't quote me on that) telling a story about how they had gotten like 60% done on a draft, called up their editor, and went, "This is crap, I'm giving up and moving onto something else, or better yet I'm never writing again," and the editor with utter chill went, "Oh, you're at that point in the writing process. It's fine, keep going." And the writer was gobsmacked to discover this had happened frequently enough that the editor recognized it.

In any case, I do actually have one trick for this, which helps me a lot! This got long and possibly overly extrapolated, so I'm putting it under a cut:

A lot of writing advice focuses on the timeless but, imo, useless mantra of, "Write the bad first draft because you can't edit a blank page." This is useless because it does nothing to tell you how to live with the shit draft, which is hard and discouraging for continuing with the draft, and also, if you're taking one writing course among many courses, you don't have time to labor over a piece in editing for months. Plus, especially with shorter pieces, I don't find laborious editing useful, especially if you're a perfectionist or worried about whether it's good. (Nothing kills my productivity like long-term editing; hence my current suffering, but sometimes it can't be helped.)

HOWEVER, my trick is this: do not focus on quality at all. "Good" is so subjective, and you can drive yourself crazy trying to achieve it. This is of course easier said than done, but what is easier is replacing it with something. I approach everything (whole pieces, individual scenes, bits of dialogue that I want to burn with fire) by asking myself what I am setting out to accomplish with that bit of writing, and then I evaluate or write it by deciding how that could be accomplished.

This could just be what your assignment is (though I find that a bit broad), or what theme or message you want to convey by the end (though I find that getting this specific is kind of stifling and often a bit too nebulous for me, which negates the point of the exercise). What I've found most helpful especially in writing short stories is to decide what emotion I want a piece to make people feel. That way, if I feel like it's crap partway through, I have a really specific way to evaluate it when I read it back; I can go look at other books or stories that make me feel the way I'm trying to make other people feel; and it's a much easier target for both large and small edits than, "Is it good?"

This also really helps my perfectionism, because it doesn't require it to be the best possible way to accomplish the goal—it just has to accomplish the goal itself. There's a lot less qualitative value being placed on it. Some of my writing that other people have liked the most have been things I thought weren't great, but I read it back and decided it accomplished what I wanted it to do regardless of my feelings about its quality, so I posted or submitted it, and it got the reaction I wanted it to.

And being able to hit those targets consistently is definitely a product of years of practice—which brings me to the one other goal that I find useless: having specific publication or posting goals. I spent basically all of my teenage/college years going, "This is Not Good but it's just practice." (My screenwriting professor did think I was crazy for writing so much as practice when I couldn't use the products as samples for various reasons, but good god am I a better writer for it.) I have written short stories for specific themed anthology calls and the worst thing I can do when I'm writing those is to put my goal down as getting accepted to the anthology, because I do the same thing that you're describing and freeze up while I'm writing it.

And your goal might not be a specific emotion—if you like writing to theme or message, do that! If all of that's too limiting to your creativity, focus on the point of the assignment and write to that! And if you don't know what goal to set at all on projects you're doing for practice, you can think of a piece of writing that makes you feel or think something that you thought was great, and evaluate it for why it achieved that, then try to hit that benchmark. Kind of the writing equivalent of artists practicing a specific artist's style while developing their own. (Needless to say, but since I'm saying this publicly, don't try to copy style too closely, and definitely don't plagiarize, both because it's shitty and also because your teacher's plagiarism checker is likely to catch it even if the teacher doesn't.)

Also, obligatory "your mileage may vary"—I am sure this will not work for all writers, and plenty of pantsers will be scandalized by the suggestion of thinking about an end goal before starting, but I really like having the benchmark and find focusing on that the most useful thing I can do when I'm stuck or discouraged, and find that it genuinely improves my writing because it means it's more cohesive in the end.