#i do not!!!! know how to split it up very good!!!! between friends and partners in words!!!!!!! aaarggh!!!!!!!

[jatlokgwo]

what if i found pictures of the duaraters my friends are and drew myself on them like a cozy cat

[photmath]

Wrong Impressions | Trent Alexander-Arnold (Part Two)

Pairing: Trent Alexander-Arnold x Reader

PART ONE written by the lovely @karotland, would strongly recommend reading that first.

Summary: Stoic, serious Trent walks around campus with murder on his face and is quite the no-nonsense class partner, frustrating you with his anti-social antics. Flustered and feeling guilty after he finds out about how you insulted him, you seek him out at a house party to apologize only to find a whole new Trent, leaving you with a lot of questions.

Word Count: 6.3k

Warnings: SMUT (18+), suggestive and implied, drinking, cursing

Note: Huge thank you to my girl Karo for letting me write a second part, ilysm and I hope I didn't disappoint (plz lie) <33. This was quite fun, can't believe I agreed to it but I'm so glad I did in the end! Kk love you bunches bye.

After finding Maddie back up on the balcony, you plopped down hard onto the seat next to her. She gave you an all-knowing look, lips tugging into a smirk.

“What?” you furrowed your eyebrows.

“You have a look,” her eyes narrowed as she tried to piece together the pieces. “Did you talk to Trent?”

“Yes,” you reply matter of factly, straightening up your posture. “And you were wrong, turns out we won’t be the 0.1% exception because he’s going to talk to me starting Monday.” You wiggled your hips in the chair as you gave her a satisfied smile. However, instead of congratulating you for not being a part of this ‘mathematical wonder,’ she gave you a displeased look.

“You do realize what today is?”

“Friday?”

“You won’t talk to Trent until Monday?” she raises her brows, “even though you’re in his house now? And he’s—” she peers over the balcony, “—right down there? Actually, they’re making their way over here.”

You rose to the balls of your feet immediately, looking down at the raucous boys and Angela from over the balcony. There you saw Trent once again laughing at something Jude said with his arm slung over him as if he’d escape from underneath him.

“How am I supposed to make out with Jude if you’re going to be clinging onto me all night?”

You roll your eyes, sitting back down in the chair with a huff, “It’s not like I’ll be alone. I can chat with the others.” You knew Maddie was only joking, having been split up from her numerous times at other parties.

“And Trent?”

“And Trent.”

“Good,” Maddie smiles, finally satisfied with your answer. But she isn’t done yet, her lips curling up into another grin, “I saw that earlier.”

“Saw what?”

“The look you gave him.”

You didn’t like how vague she was because you looked at Trent now a couple of times throughout the night, but you didn’t think your facial expressions were very obvious.

Her gum smacked loudly as she blew out a bubble, “Were you jealous?”

“No,” you crossed your arms.

“Oh come on, you see him talking to Angela and you go all quiet and suddenly say, ‘I’ll be back.’ And then off you go, stomping until you get to him.”

“I wasn’t stomping,” you laughed, rubbing the nervousness out of your arms. Why did Maddie’s words have this effect on you? Sure you were jealous, but you were jealous because Trent never once gave you that ounce of socialization.

Maddie shook her head once before dismissing the conversation, “Do you want to go inside? I’m getting a bit cold.”

You nod hastily, glad the attention is drawn away from you because god how loud was Maddie talking? Anne seemed to still be preoccupied with the others talking about another ex from her past, but noise traveled between floors it seems and you learned just how easily Trent could overhear conversations.

Sliding back inside, the purple lights and booming music greet you once again. Instinctively, you scan the kitchen and living room for a place for you to stand and chat with friends but your eyes connect with Trent’s as the front door opens. His smile is faint but quickly interrupted once Jude tumbles in from behind him and beelines towards the kitchen where a teammate of his is pouring shots.

Trent, on the other hand, takes his time. He holds the door open for the rest of them to come inside and once Angela comes in last, she perks her head up at him. Trent looks down at her quizzically and whispers something into her ear, making her laugh while he just wears a smirk. You feel the little green monster again, like a gear wanting to turn but a rock was wedged in the middle of it so now it’s grinding loudly in your ears.

You shake off the feeling, turning completely around and facing the direction of the kitchen. Jude downs the shot and then immediately hands one to Maddie—who somehow slipped out of your grip and found her way towards him. She throws her head back once she grabs it from him. You stay mingling around the kitchen, chatting with friends and meeting the ones you don’t recognize.

Feeling a hand brush up on your arm, you turn around to see Trent giving you a soft smile as he moves behind you. You return the friendly smile back, but you aren’t familiar with the feeling that washes over you once he continues to walk past you. Disappointment perhaps? It would be a lie to say that you hadn’t thought he was coming up to you to chat. So watching him now practically steal Jude away from Maddie, you’re left a tad bit annoyed.

Just as you’re about to make your way out of the kitchen and into the living room where a few others are dancing, a calloused but warm hand wraps around your wrist and stops you. He carries a bottle while staring at you, gesturing to Jude and Maddie, “Do you want to take a shot?”

You briefly glance back at the two, their heads nodding eagerly as they await your answer. Well, why not. You concede, “Just one.”

Trent smirks, lining up four glasses and then pouring what you assume is vodka although you can’t make out the title on the bottle. The four of you down the shot at the same time, you cringing at the burn that goes zipping down your throat. But then you and Maddie holler the moment you two recognize the song that starts playing through the speakers. She reaches out for your hand to dance with her in the small space between the counters and island of the kitchen.

You don’t notice Trent’s lingering gaze on you, or the smile that can’t leave his face as he watches you throw your hands up in the air as if you didn’t care who watched.

An hour into more chatting and dancing, you found yourself desperately searching for an open restroom because seriously who was taking so long in the guest restroom? Trent nurses a red cup to his lips as you find him, standing on your tippy toes to ask, “Is there another restroom that I can use?”

Trent glances at the restroom across the hall and then motions his head upstairs. He speaks but his words are inaudible from the speaker being right next to the both of you. You scrunch up your face and tilt your head and for a brief second, he seems amused. He leans down to yell into your ear, “Follow me!”

The brush of his lips against your ears sends you in a daze. Your feet stay glued on the floor until he passes you, holding out his hand for you to follow him. And his hand. It feels like it’s on fire as he intertwines your fingers tightly with his. He gives your hand a squeeze, maybe to make the grip tighter but you don’t know. He weaves you through the mass of sweating and dancing bodies until he gets to the stairs, you both walking up still hand in hand even though no one was in the way to separate you. The corridor is dark as he stops to open a bedroom door, finally releasing your hand gently as he turns on the light.

You recognize it immediately as his bedroom, the few photos that line his dresser and the same bookbag and football bag that he carried on the floor next to it. His green sheets are neatly tucked into his bed frame, his room overall very clean for a guy.

“You can just use mine,” he points to the door across his bedroom.

“Thank you so much, Trent,” you sigh. You quickly rush into the restroom and almost freeze again at how clean it is. Seriously there was no way his restroom was one wink cleaner than yours.

Once you finish, you expect the room to be empty but Trent is still there standing against the doorframe. A couple beads of sweat line his forehead as he swipes them, then looking up at you, “You okay?”

“Yeah,” you smile. “I’m okay.”

“The weather,” he indulges, “getting cold, hmm?”

You break into a laugh, feeling a little nervous to have all his attention in his bedroom after using his restroom. You stand a couple of steps in front of him, peering up at him, “It is, didn’t expect the temperature to drop so suddenly in the past hour.”

“Bummer,” he mentions. “I wanted to sit on the balcony.”

Gosh, his eyes are really brown.

Trent bursts into an abrupt laugh, his head falling forward and dimples deep into his cheeks as he peers up at you. You feel a little giddy getting this sudden reaction at him, chuckling back at him despite your heart swelling at the way he’s looking at you.

“Thank you, darling, for noticing the color of my eyes.”

You slap your hand over your mouth, eyes wide as your cheeks rush with heat, “I said that out loud?”

“You did.”

“Oh my god—”

“It’s okay,” Trent muses, he picks up his head and leans it against the doorframe. Chewing the gum he suddenly has in his mouth, you’re memorized by the way his jaw clenches over and over again. Embarrassment is now mixing with another feeling as Trent continues to look at you through his hooded eyelids. Your cheeks feel a little flushed, and you knew your mouth was not going to want to stay closed tonight if he were to continue. Because gosh, the urge to impulsively speak never felt so strong until now.

You brush off whatever dust was on your shorts, deciding to be strong, “We should head back.”

He nods, turning off the light and closing the door. You make it downstairs faster than he does in order to lose yourself in the crowd. Not like Trent would miss you, he had his eyes on you the moment he walked back into his house.

You don’t even realize you’re searching for Maddie until your phone pings, Maddie’s message reads that they’re on the balcony getting some air with some friends. As you make your way to the balcony door, you internally groan knowing you’d be a little cold but there was still some alcohol running through you that could keep you somewhat warm.

You seem to be interrupting a conversation as you sit down on one of the couches, Anne screaming at you to agree, “Tell Jude I’m not lying.”

Jude’s arm is slung over Maddie as he laughs loudly, his head falling onto her shoulder. You chuckle, “She isn’t lying.”

You fall into conversation quickly among them, only glancing up once Trent walks out. He shuts the door behind him and sits down in the only empty space next to you, spreading his legs and arms out wide as he settles in.

“Get too hot in there for you?” you question.

He nods, “Music’s buzzin’ the ears.”

You don’t mean to stare at him, but the chain necklace he wears sitting against his already tight white tee leaves little to the imagination and makes you give him a double take. He looked so good underneath this one dim light out on the balcony. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it wasn’t, but the desire to be closer to him consumed you. However, you fought it, not wanting to embarrass yourself more.

Not realizing the conversation stirred onto you, you give the others a puzzled look as they turn towards you.

“Yeah, I don’t ever see you with a man,” Anne agrees. Your eyebrows furrow immediately, feeling breathless as you realize where the conversation is going. “We all thought Johnny would be endgame, you know?”

“Aww, do you remember when he planned out that ‘date-but-not-a-date’ for her and then he had to cancel because he got a flat tire?” Maddie asks, snickering. “It was so romantic. A picnic underneath the stars, did you guys ever reschedule?”

You wanted to dig yourself into a hole and never show face again. In front of Trent? This was quite possibly one of the most embarrassing moments of your life and it was astonishing at just how many moments from tonight made that list.

It takes you everything to not look at Trent’s reaction but he stays quiet. You find the courage to say, “We actually did.”

“You two were so cute,” Maddie gushes.

Jude jumps up from his seat, “I fuckin’ love this song!” The speaker from inside the house played a very dulled-out song but it was still a bit distinguishable. And suddenly you were thankful for the existence of Jude Bellingham, especially the loud, always-interrupting person he was when he was drunk. He starts dancing alone, his cup still in his hand as he looks towards you, “Come on, dance with me.”

You get up quickly, wanting the comments about Johnny to stop before they get any deeper. Your hand stays intertwined with one of Jude’s as he dances off-beat. He was too drunk to find it or even care about it, you going along with him. The girls cheer out loud for the both of you, and you don’t even want to look at Trent to figure out what he’s thinking about.

And you definitely don’t want to care about what Trent is thinking about when the door opens and Angela comes stumbling out. She dances with the two of you for a few seconds before plopping down beside Trent, in the very seat you were in just seconds before. You can’t help it, you glance in his direction and his eyes are already on yours, stoic but glimmering.

“He’s gonna kill me,” Jude whispers loudly in your ear. You’re almost sure that Trent heard him, but you can’t even think about it because Jude’s body stumbles forward. You try to grip onto his shoulder to steer him upright but his cup goes flying in between the two of you, spilling dramatically on both of your chests.

Gosh, how full was his cup to drench your entire blouse?

“Jude,” you groan.

“Sorry,” he mumbles sheepishly. He lets go and plops down on the couch, groaning as he holds his head in his hands. Looking down at your blue blouse, you notice just how thin the material of it is and quickly shield your exposed chest with your arm. The girls' eyes widen as they turn looking for something to cover you with. Before you can even think, Trent stands up and brushes your arm and back, motioning you towards the door.

“I—”

“I can give you my jacket.”

You nod, ignoring Angela’s sulking, relieved to get some kind of solution for your problem. Trent intertwines your hands together and leads you to his room—again. His thumb brushing against the back of your hand doesn’t go unnoticed by you, you even look down at where they conjoined. The swooning feeling in your chest comes back.

“This is so embarrassing,” you mutter as you finally reach his bedroom, your arm still splayed across your chest as he closes his door.

He chuckles, “Well Angela does exist so…”

“Trent!” you scold. He digs through his closet and pulls down a dark red hoodie. He slips off the hanger and hands it to you.

“I can um—dry your clothes if you’d like.”

You cringe, “That’s even more mortifying.”

Trent shrugs, “I can be discreet, darling. Plus, why are you suddenly shy after you were practically spitting out everything that was on your mind earlier?”

You snatch the hoodie from his hand, “Earlier my nipples weren’t peeking out of my shirt, Trent.”

He smirks, stifling a chuckle out of his mouth and nodding his head, “I guess that’s true.”

You smack his shoulder with his hoodie and go into his restroom. Only in there did you notice just how ridiculous you looked with the giant stain on your blouse that drenched you. You attempt to squirm out of the shirt but only then do you remember about the stupid few buttons on the back of the shirt. There was no way you were going to be able to twist the shirt without popping a few strands. You grumble, knowing you needed Trent’s help.

“Trent?” you call out softly. There’s some rustling on the other end of the door before he hums out a response. “Do you mind unbuttoning my shirt?”

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah.” There was no other way to hold the shirt up without it being on the verge of completely falling once those buttons unclasped. You held onto it for dear life as Trent opened the door hesitantly.

Trent’s fingers tentatively grab a hold of the first button. His fingers feel too big to maneuver such a tiny button out of its threaded loop. The lack of air in the restroom doesn’t seem to help either. He felt like he was choking, as if he was holding onto his breath as he focused on the task and not your bare back.

“Almost done?” you ask, trying to control your shuddering breath. You hoped your back wasn’t a replica of your arms that were now clad in goosebumps.

“I can’t even get the first button,” he spat. His voice was curt, almost agitated that it made you grow a little impatient because he had been trying for a while now. But his voice also seemed to resonate in your ear drums, reverberating back and forth because of how close he was to you. The warmth of the room felt palpable. “My fingers are too big.”

“Just focus harder,” you grit, getting hot.

“That’s what I’m doing.”

You let out a shaky sigh, it catches Trent’s attention and he tries to shudder it away but it only makes his hands shake even more. He rests his palms against your back and it makes you squirm, not expecting the feeling of his hands on your skin.

“Sorry,” he rasps, finally getting his hands to stop shaking and unclasp the first button. “Thank fuck.”

Your knees buckle at his words, him dropping one of his hands to settle onto your waist and stabilize you. Your hips bump into the front of his and you immediately regain balance. His fingertips burn into your waist as he asks, “Are you okay?”

“Think I’m still a little tipsy.”

Trent snorts, “I don’t think so.”

“How would you know?”

His hands go back to work on the second button, “Think you sobered up quite quickly once they mentioned Johnny. Or,” he stops talking and his fingers still, “once Angela walked out. Don’t think I didn’t see your face.”

“I was dancing with Jude, I didn’t even notice her.”

“Yeah?” he chuckles. He makes sure to snicker right into your ear, “Did you forget you danced with her too?”

The last button unclasps and you immediately feel it loosen against your back. You turn around, still clutching onto your shirt, as he wears a lousy smirk. He had caught you in a lie but you weren’t going to let him win just yet.

“Like I said, I’m still a little tipsy I can’t remember.”

Trent’s one-sided grin only grows and his eyes darken from amusement to something else that you can’t quite read. You weren’t familiar with the different emotions of him, only certified in his one stoic facial expression but this was an entirely different person you were meeting tonight. One that you definitely enjoyed. This was the most you ever heard him talk.

His head falls down, glancing at the mirror and then back at you, “Alright then, darling, whatever you say.”

“You’re such an ass,” you whine, pushing him out the door with one hand.

He laughs, “Sober!”

You roll your eyes, wishing the last bit of alcohol gave you the confidence to withstand his gaze. Usually you could banter with him any way you wanted but for whatever reason you felt like you were going to say the wrong thing by accident tonight. You had already slipped up about his eyes and god you hated how you could feel that you were going to say something more. Something potentially less innocent than the color of his eyes. He had a tendency to make you not want to bite your tongue in general.

His hoodie smells a lot like him as you pull it over him, earthy and piney. You bunch your shirt in your hands, and glance at yourself one more time in the mirror before you open the door. Trent leans against his dresser, slipping his phone back into his pocket once you step out.

“Ready to go back out?”

You bite onto your cheek. You weren’t. You seriously didn’t like the way Angela was riling you up for whatever reason. Trent had already said they weren’t dating, shut that idea down quickly but it…gnawed at you? You weren’t even sure what you were feeling.

“No way,” he whispers.

You look up at him and he has an open-mouthed smile on him, was he shocked? But he also looked like he just figured out how to do a hard math problem. Your eyebrows pinch, “What?”

“I didn’t think it was true, but—I heard you talking to Maddie on the balcony when she asked if you were jealous. You lied to her, didn’t you?” There’s a smile on his face that’s he trying to control, as if he were going to burst into a shit-eating grin so wide but he was holding himself back.

Immediately you shake your head, denying, “What?”

And there it is, the laugh. His head falls back too. “Bah, c’mon, don’t try to lie to me now.”

“I’m not jealous.”

“You shouldn’t be,” he said. His voice drops down an octave, “There’s nothing going on between Angela and I.”

“Why would I be jealous of you and her?”

He shrugs, “I don’t know either.”

Seriously, how could he just hear every damn whisper? There was no way you were going to dig yourself out of this. And quite frankly you were a little fed up, from Jude spilling his drink on you to Trent taking forever in the restroom to undo your shirt. Your patience had run thin.

You groan, rolling your eyes as you cross your arms, “It was the alcohol.”

He chuckles, stepping towards you, “You usually yap, alcohol or none.”

You roll your eyes again, “I was jealous because of how easy it was for you to talk to everyone except me.”

He tilts his head, taking another step towards you until you have to tilt your head to look up at him. His smile is sincere, “We’re talking now. Even if you’re lying just a little, I’ll take it.” He holds up his first two fingers with a small gap between them.

The giggle from your throat can’t help but to escape, despite it being hoarse. His eyebrows barely furrow as he notices it but doesn’t comment on it. Thank goodness.

“Besides,” he continues, “it’s much easier for you to hear me in here than it was out there.” His hands wrap around the hood, pulling it over your head and squeezing the strands together so it tightens around you.

“Trent!” you yell, you only make out the bottom half of his body and it suddenly comes a lot closer. He’s laughing as he nudges you against the wall, but backing off so you don’t feel trapped.

You pull off the hoodie once you find your balance, “What was that for?”

He shrugs so nonchalantly that you push him back. He stumbles onto his bed with the widest smile you had ever seen from him. It looked so unnatural as it was aimed towards you that it made your cheeks feel more incredibly hot.

“Wow,” you breathe out. His eyebrows shoot up, amusing you once again. But those doe eyes catch your attention. They were so expressive without effort and it damn near put you in a trance. A trance that would’ve led you straight into his lap had you two not felt heavy steps coming upstairs.

Trent looked immediately to the door and noticed it wasn’t locked, leaping off his bed and in a few long strides he was locking it. He then turned off the overhead light and used his phone’s screen as a source of light. You hadn’t realized his blinds were open until the moon casts its shadow down into the room.

“What the fuck?” You let out the breath you held after watching him run. There’s a sudden knock on the door and the handle jiggles but it doesn’t bulge.

“Trent, I have to piss man,” Jude pleads. Trent presses his finger to his lips as he glances towards you. You would be lying if this didn’t somehow send adrenaline through you. He was seriously hiding in his bedroom from Jude of all people.

There’s another frantic knock, and then the shoving of the door. Jude’s groan sounds so loud, “You fuckin’ twat.” It’s the last thing he says before he walks down the corridor and Trent chuckles quietly.

“You’re cruel,” you tease, walking towards him. He still hadn’t turned the light back on.

“All the other rooms are open,” he shrugs. “He’ll be fine.” He opts for turning on a lamp, turning it on the lowest setting and it’s so dim that it might as well be off.

As he walks towards his bed, he stops, turning back to you. His eyes narrow slightly as you put your hands on your hips, “What now?”

“You said Johnny and you were just close?” he starts. Of course. “But the picnic?”

“Friends can’t just go on picnics?”

He chuckles, “Did he know that?”

“Well he does now. There’s nothing between us. I didn’t like him like that, the girls just always teased us.”

Trent nods, satisfied with your answer, “Okay, enough about him.”

“Please,” you reply meekly.

“You’re the one who usually talks, maybe you should yap more.”

“Quit saying I yap.”

“Yapping about the weather, about class, about—”

You walk over to his bed and throw a pillow at his head. He goes splatting onto his side, you not realizing just how hard you actually held onto the pillow once you swung. Oops…

But he’s up in an instant, on his feet and pushing you back until you hit your back against the wall. A small ‘oomph’ slips out of your mouth that he lets go of your wrists, looking down at your face with a flash of worry, “Sorry—”

“Asshole.” But god were you so turned on with his chest being merely inches away.

And his face is back, “Oh, you’re okay.”

His watchful gaze looking down at you makes you swallow the slick remark down your throat. Wow. Where were his hands at? And just how far were you from him? It was either his eyes or that stupid useless lamp that made you lose sense of distance.

“Are you…okay?” he rasps. You watch as his throat bobbles as he rakes over your face, making you fight every urge to look away from his hard gaze.

“I’m fine,” you manage. His lip twitches as he glances down, it’s only then did you realize that his hand managed to go around your waist. You didn’t know how you didn’t feel it, especially because it went entirely underneath the hoodie. His bare hand was touching the skin of your back and your throat bubbled as he took his time slipping it out. Do not make a sound. Do not make a sound.

You didn’t have to make a sound to realize his movement awakened every fiber in your body. The hoodie suddenly felt ridiculously hot, like walking outside in the middle of summer with it on. If you weren’t leaning on the wall, you would’ve lost your balance right then and there.

And just as Trent’s fingertips are about to let go of you entirely, he lets them stray. In reality, they only touched such a small space of you but they felt suffocating, as if they were engulfing the entirety of you. Exploring you without hesitancy.

For whatever reason, whatever luck that wasn’t on your side, his lamp began to flicker until it went out completely. And just like that, a sliver of the moon’s light shined on his face.

“Did that—”

“It does that,” he mutters. “It’s old, have to give it a good tap.”

“Oh.”

Words escaped you as you felt him lean a little more into you. The sudden brain that never stopped thinking of a witty response was quiet, only thinking about how close he was. How his eyes seemed so tender. The softest they had ever been before. And gah! Even when there’s so little light his eyes look so brown.

“You had on a nice shirt.”

“Everyone saw my nipples,” you say, wanting to slap your hand over your mouth. Why did you choose to say those words at this very time?

He laughs, it’s gruff and it only goes in one ear, giving you goosebumps on that side. “Well, not everyone.” His head dips closer to your ear. “Only the girls saw them.”

“Then how did you know,” you look up at him as he reels his head back slowly. His fingertips slide to the back of your hip, finally putting his palm down and you stifle what might be a moan. Seriously, you need to get yourself together.

“It wasn’t rocket science to put two and two together, darling.”

And you couldn’t do it anymore. There were so many words and so little touch shared in the time that you’ve been pressed against the wall. You guide his free hand to your waist and settle yours around his neck. There is a brief look of shock in his eyes but it goes away as quickly as it appeared.

His breath hitches as your fingertips scratches the nape of his skin. His eyes flicker down to your lips and if he wasn’t going to make the first move, then hell you might as well go for it. Your hand slips down to his chest, balling up the white fabric and pulling him down. His lips crash onto yours feverishly, his breathing heavy as he pulls you closer to him.

You aren’t expecting to feel him through his jeans when your hips clash, so the gasp that leaves your mouth is unrestrained. God. Your hands are slipping down his chest and finding the hem of his pants but it’s so dark, the moon only shining on his face. His lips graze your neck as he squirms once you press your palm against him. His teeth sink into the skin near your shoulder as you pull on the button of his pants.

Before you could unbutton them, he pries your hands off of them and raises them over your head, pinning them down with just one hand. Did he have to look so hot doing that? You couldn’t help the whimper that left your mouth, him smirking as he pressed his hips further into you. He was so hard that you wondered if he was in pain, and how quickly you could slither out of his grasp and relieve him.

But he pulls back, and the frown you make is by instinct. He brings down your hands slowly to your side and you frown even harder, “Why did you stop?”

“Are you sure?” he asks.

“Yeah, I’m not drunk.”

“Walk in a straight line then,” he jokes, tugging the hem of the hoodie towards him.

You roll your eyes, a grin overtaking your scowl as you let him pull you towards the bed. You were so turned on it was ridiculous. He sits down on the bed and you can make out his head turning in your direction, waiting for you to join him.

“No more teasing,” you warn, unbuttoning your pants and shrugging them off. “Just sex.” You don’t even wait for him to pull you down, you settle in his lap as if you had been in this position many times before with him.

His eyebrows rise at your bright pink underwear, but he’s more amused with your words, “What’s the magic word?”

“Trent,” you grip onto his shoulders tightly as he laughs. His hands settle on your hips, teasing the area of where your panties met the hoodie. “Please.”

“Okay.”

The smile that raises his cheeks is so charming that you can’t help but to gently pinch them. But you kiss him as if he’s withholding coffee from you. So rabidly that he had to fall back onto stretched elbows to keep himself up. He dragged himself up to the center of the bed and pulled you with him.

The two of you groaned at the friction of your hips once you sat back down on him. His hands slipped underneath your—his—hoodie and immediately settled on your hard nipples. They had been bruising against the fabric of the hoodie, so the moan you let out was pure relief as he squeezed them. Your hand already wrapped around the length of him through his boxers.

“Fuck,” he grunts, hiking up his hips and shimming out of his pants. His grip is tight as he then peels off the hoodie, leaving you exposed but it doesn’t take long for him to find your breasts with his mouth and hand. And of course his other hand wandered and teased the hem of your underwear. His knuckles brushed against your clit through the fabric that you didn’t have any shame sinking further onto them and rocking your hips.

Once he flipped the two of you over, his touch was careful but firm. Very attentive to the sweet sounds of your arousal and the whimpers of every touch. He wasn’t shy about being vocal either. Especially when it came to his ragged breathing, the feeling of his breath creating goosebumps on your skin in its wake.

The feeling of his cold chain sliding down your body put you into a frenzy that you almost felt bad for how hard your thighs clamped around his head but he didn’t seem to mind.

And that chain continued to bounce against you with each thrust and that alone had you wrapping your legs around him and pulling him down to kiss you. You could feel his lips turning into a sloppy smile that it made you laugh as you pecked his cheek afterward.

Even if his face radiated with innocence, his hands sliding down to give you one more tease sure didn’t. You squirmed once his thumb landed on your clit and sure as hell wasn’t ready for the sudden pinch of your nipple with his other.

“Oh my god—” his lips slid down your jaw and neck, sucking on the supple skin. You didn’t even care if he marked you, your attention so far gone because between the feeling of him so deep inside you, his thumb circling your clit, fingers alternating between a pinch and a ghost of a touch around your nipple, and his warm mouth and breath on your neck, you weren’t even sure what to focus on. It all felt so unreal.

And yet somehow he held you as you rode out the numbing feeling taking over you. Vision clouding as you felt him slip out of you as he tenderly massaged your breasts and then let out a small gasp as he came as well. He nuzzled his lips onto your cheek and neck, breath heavy as he collapsed beside you. He pulled you closer to him and then ran his hands over your thighs in a soothing manner.

God. You almost wanted to cry at how euphoric you felt but there was no way you were going to let go of that much pride in one night.

His eyes flutter open as you already look back at him. He lets out a shy laugh, “Didn’t expect you to be so quiet.”

“I was shocked the entire time.”

“In a good or bad way?”

“In the best way.”

He beams, pulling you closer to him and kissing your forehead, “Seeing you in my fucking hoodie. I couldn’t control myself anymore.”

“I was waiting for you to rip it off of me,” you sassed.

“I knew I should’ve bent you over in the restroom and fucked the brat out of you.”

“I’d love to see you try,” you encouraged and he picked his head up, surely offended, but you were on the tallest cloud that you didn’t care. “Plus, your hands were shaking so much that I don’t think—”

Trent shut you up with his lips. His hands taut around your neck as he shushes you in the way he should’ve done hours ago.

--

Come Monday morning, you were starting to grow restless staring at the empty seat next to you. Trent had a minute to spare before class started and he should’ve been here a minute ago. The two of you texted over the weekend, nothing spectacular but nothing too boring. You hoped you hadn’t bothered him with too many words and scared him away. Maybe your watch was a minute behind—

A white cup suddenly lands harshly in front of you, a strong hand wrapped around it until they let go. The smell of coffee seeps out of it so strongly that it itches your brain. You look over to see Trent, a frantic but bashful smile on his face as he sits down, never taking his eyes off of you. He has his own cup as well.

“That rain, such a sudden downpour,” he chimes. “So heavy that I almost ran late.”

You can’t help that gleeful smile that stretches all the muscles of your cheeks that you don’t know existed; you must’ve look crazy, you are sure. Every facial muscle hurt in that second but you don’t care as you wrap your arms around him. He laughs as he pecks your cheek and then gives your waist a squeeze.

It was sunny outside. No chance of rain or even a cloud.

---

taglist: @lunamelona @akg2000 @0rangesuga @ell-alexanderarnold @emunds

[greedandenby]

Jacob Anderson, Sam Reid, and others talking about Jam Reiderson.

Here's a compilation of bits and pieces from various interviews about these two men's beautiful friendship. Will be updating as new promo for subsequent seasons comes out!

(Long post, so keep reading!

- there's SO MUCH good stuff)

Pride.com

Q: You guys have incredible chemistry. It hinges on that. Can you talk a little bit about how you built that kind of connection?

JA: I find it so difficult to talk about chemistry. Because me and Sam… like each other.

SR: Yeah. I think we’re very similar in a lot of ways, and that was a big relief. It’s a very bizarre job to do when you’re doing it, cause you’re shooting entirely at night, you have amazing costumes and contact lenses and accents and teeth and blood. The scenes, while they feel like they have a flow to them, there’s a lot of splitting up while we do it because we’ve got to have special effects come in or the blood come in, or we’re on a rig of some kind. So it’s a weird experience, and we also had these extraordinary lines of dialogue to say as well. And so to have somebody who’s similar, can process these things the same way as you and bounce off of and decompress with is vital.

JA: Yeah, and the first step is you just have a common language that you find, and sometimes it clicks and sometimes it doesn’t. And we were just lucky that we, you know…

SR: Yeah. Yup.

Amc Talk

Q: The relationship between Louis and Lestat is rife with complications, but at its core there's obviously a real connection there. What was it like crafting this tumultuous relationship on screen with Sam Reid? You two are quite good friends having come out the other end of Season 1.

JA: Yeah, we were good friends when we were doing it and I think that's part of why it worked out for us! We didn't put too much emphasis on trying to figure everything out. The scripts are so beautiful, the writing is so dense and so full of life and detail that you don't need to discuss it too much. Obviously, we talked to the directors, and they'd have ideas and we'd have ideas, but I think, in terms of me and Sam finding it, I think we just paid attention to each other. We just trusted the writing, trusted each other, and it meant that we’d already be prepared for whatever was going to come up. We felt comfortable with each other, so we could try things and it felt safe. It felt like we could play around with body language and with eye contact and all these things. But it was unspoken, I think. It wasn't something that we spent a lot of time discussing. Everything's intentional to a certain extent, but there's this other thing that is just about instinct and listening really.

Q: And having the right scene partner where that happens.

JA: Yeah, I felt really lucky! Sam gives you so much. There's so much to play off and I hope that I did the same for him. Our first day of shooting we did the opera house stuff, and I was so excited. It's the scene where he talks about loneliness, and I remember thinking even though I'd got to know him a little bit and we'd done a bit of rehearsal and we'd become friends by that point, I was like, "Oh wow, this is going to be really special! I'm going to get to do this every day. I'm going to get to watch this character come to life and respond to it." That's a gift. Sam Reid is a gift!

Q: The relationship between Louis and Lestat is rife with complications, but at its core there’s a real connection there. What was it like crafting this tumultuous relationship on screen with Jacob Anderson? You two are quite good friends having come out the other side of Season 1 so if anything, I’m sure the experience brought you closer together? 

SR: Yeah, definitely. It definitely brought us closer together. It was really crazy this stuff that we were doing together. We'd have these massive scenes, and it would be just him and I in the middle of the night playing opposite each other, not really being able to see each other all the time with the contact lenses. You just rely so heavily on one another. You also rely on each other because you're like, "Have we pushed it too far? Is it too much? Is it enough? Like, do we believe each other?" Because it's this very intense relationship but we’re also supernatural beings. So, you're constantly having to reframe the way that you look at a relationship and say, "Well, hang on, my character has all this power." Like in Episode 4, I remember saying, when all the police are coming over to the house, I was like, "Why are we even worried about this? I don't understand why I would be even concerned about this at all." But you're negotiating with someone who's going, "Yeah, but my desire to have a connection to humanity makes this important," and so you're like, "Oh, okay." We managed to balance off each other in that way, because my character's way past any connection to humanity and Jacob's character is holding onto those last threads of his humanity. When we'd both be examining a scene, we'd both be coming at it from different angles. Because of the love between the two characters, there's always that negotiation and blunting of the other's real intention. I couldn't really imagine doing it with anybody else! We did all of it, everything, together, really.

Gold Derby Daniel Hart Interview

Q: In what ways does the show’s really rich visual palette and then of course Sam and Jacob’s lightning-in-a-bottle chemistry on screen influence some of the choices that you made on the score throughout your process?

DH: There’s a theme that I would call their love theme, and it’s sprinkled throughout the first episode but it played in full over the end credits in a piece called “In Throes of Increasing Wonder”. And that theme appears in almost every episode, I think, in some form or another. I don’t think that theme was possible before I had seen some of that interaction between Jacob and Sam as Lestat and Louis. It’s born of their emotional reactions to each other.

IWTV Podcast

Ep2

Q: You and Jacob did your chemistry tests over Zoom? Which, I mean, does anyone have chemistry over Zoom?

SR: Yeah, I don’t really know what they were looking for or how you’re supposed to gauge chemistry from that, because it was really glitchy and we were all speaking on top of each other and trying really hard to act into the camera, which just wasn’t working. But look, I really… Jacob is such a lovely person, such a really fantastic actor and so easy to be around. And I could see that he was going to be a very easy person to fall in love with. So it was fun. In fact I just came from having ice cream with Jacob and he says hello.

Q: Oh my God, I’m obsessed. I want these moments. Give me that footage, okay? I want ice cream footage, I want strolling the streets of downtown New Orleans footage.

SR (laughs): Yeah, I mean we hang out all the time and we’ve become very, very good friends. Cause it is a crazy journey that we’re on and it was a crazy job, so it’s really lovely to have such a good friend.

Ep3

Q: Talking about Sam, how much time did y’all get before you started actually shooting? It’s like “Okay, we’re in love now and it’s going to be very tortured and complicated” – Rolling!

JA: Yeah. I don’t know if I completely believe in luck, but I think there’s like a weird cosmic luck in this whole thing. It is a huge roll of the dice. The first day we met each other, obviously we both had our masks on, and we had a hug and we were like “Oh hi”. And then we just spent the next day walking around New Orleans and getting to know each other. And I truly love that man, so much. Like, we connected so quickly and just found like… And I think part of that as well is that there’s a level of trust that we had to have, otherwise we weren’t going to be able to do this at those hours, and those scenes, and the intimacy of their relationship, and also the toxicity and the fire in it. We had to really hold each other and be like “All right, have we got each other’s back?” And we did, we were just like “We’re in this together. Let’s listen to each other and try and have fun.” And we did, we had a lot of fun. I thought that taking on this role would be quite triggering for me in lots of different ways. I thought it was going to force me to have to reconcile with lots of feelings that I had. I thought it was going to be just a guilt and shame and despair fest for six months. And actually I just found it really, really cathartic being Louis, and Louis has helped me a lot. I think there’s something about acceptance in Louis and acceptance of self, and like “This is who I am, this is who I’ve been, and I’m enduring, I’m choosing to keep going. I’m choosing to accept who I am.” And that was really helpful for me. So rather than feeling tortured, I think I ended up just feeling very… held, very comforted by the whole thing, in a weird sort of way.

Ep7

Q: I’m wondering what you guys would do or how you would hang out on set. Is there hanging out or are you more like “Okay, they’re setting up a light, I gotta go lay down, I can’t with you right now.”

JA: No, we were pretty inseparable, to be fair. There wasn’t really any hanging out. We just were. At a certain point, we just were. We didn’t share a trailer, but it was like, a wall separating us. And we’d just end up sitting on the stairs or texting each other through the wall.

SR (laughs): Through the wall, just texting all the time.

JA: We became a hive mind.

SR: We did, yeah.

Q: Were you still a hive mind once you wrapped? Would you still text and stuff?

JA: Yeah.

SR: Yeah.

JA: We’re going to the theatre tonight. We’ve seen each other every day for the last week. We’re still choosing to spend time together. It’s probably not very healthy. Very co-dependent (laughs).

Ep8

Q: Obviously viewers are in love with Jacob and Sam. People are tweeting me photos of them eating ice cream. We call ourselves #icecreamhive. The fandom is strong. Can you tell me about how you found Jacob and Sam, and the process of deciding they were Louis and Lestat?

Rolin Jones: Well, obviously 9 billion people auditioned. You kind of get down to ten actors that you like on both sides. The simple math of it is the second those two got into their Zoom rooms together, it was very clear something very dynamic was happening. On Jacob’s side, there’s this sort of genuine warmth, kindness, humanity. You’re like “Okay, for a character who’s going to make a number of questionable choices, how do you make them want to love him?” And on Sam: I saw his face and I said “No fucking way! No fucking way that guy, this chiselled, stupid chiselled, with his locks and his dreamy eyes. I was like no, no, no, no. And then I pressed play, and he really knew how big we were going to go. He was wildly specific and subtle. It was in his voice. There was something a little Jeff Bridges/Starman about it, and I was like “Oh, this guy feels like an alien and he feels other than us”. They both won the audition, that’s basically what happened. Although I’ll tell you, here’s a dirty secret: ready for this? Sam bought this piece of technology, that you can do a push-in close-up right when the scene is getting a little juicy. And I just started laughing my ass off. I was like “Oh my God, this guy wants this so hard.”

Mark Johnson: You called me the first time you had seen Sam, and you were just so excited about the potential of this guy and you basically said: “He’s going to be next to impossible to beat.” And sure enough, nobody could really touch him. But from the very first time you saw his audition you were pretty convinced that we had our Lestat.

Keep It Podcast

JA: Sam is just like my… partner-in-crime, and I feel so lucky that I got to spend every day with him. We had to do a lot of stuff in this show and when I say a lot of stuff I mean, those nights are no joke. Knowing those scenes and working on those scenes together at that hour – you can only do that with somebody that you like, even if the scene calls for tension. I think you would just kill each other if you didn’t like each other.

PaleyFest

Q: Jacob and Sam, I feel like the show wouldn’t work unless the chemistry’s there between Louis and Lestat. There’s a lot riding on that. So how did you two form this immortal bond, if you will, during filming, knowing how important it was?

JA: We just spent a lot of time together even when we didn’t need to (laughs). I don’t know, like, how do you put that kind of thing into words? It’s just, like… I really love Sam. I like spending time with him. I like working with him. I find the way that we talk about what we’re doing… Well, we’re not talking about what we’re doing all the time but I think we have a similar language. I dunno, it’s ki(smet?)… It’s, like, how do you describe a vibe? (laughs)

Q: Sam, how do you describe the vibe?

SR: I think the work, the world and the characters are so extreme and it’s a very intense thing to do. And I think we leant on each other a lot throughout the process and we were very grateful for the friendship that we had built to be able to get through six months of night and some pretty intense scenes. And to have someone that you can look across the room and have a private giggle with and get on with the job and debrief with at the end of the day is invaluable. Chemistry with actors is a complicated beast because it is our job to manufacture it, but when you don’t have to and it just comes naturally it makes everything so much more easy and enjoyable, particularly when you’re nude and bleeding (laughs). You’re really happy you have a buddy (unintelligible).

Q: I was in the Entertainment Weekly suite when all you guys came through for Comic Con at the Hard Rock Hotel and, I mean, I was watching you all interact. Bailey, break it down for me: these two, do they have like a super-bromance going on? Like, what is happening?

Bailey Bass: They’re best friends! They really are, it’s really precious. (Delighted grin from Jacob) Look at Jacob’s face! (laughs)

JA: Are we best friends, Sam?

SR: Yeah, you’re my best friend.

Eric Bogosian: I have to say, I have to throw in: I have two sons who are roughly the age of these guys, and we all went over to Comic Con, us three. And walking around was like being with my kids. The two of them are just like together (clasps hands together) getting into everything and I’m following them around, like “Wait a second, wait a second! Let me catch up with you there!” I didn’t really get it when I first got to set, I didn’t understand what was going on with these two guys, because they were so happy and they were so tired and they were so bonded and I was like “What dimension have I entered here?”

Reddit AMA (2022)

Q: Many of the scenes in the show are very emotionally demanding for even just a viewer of the series […] Is it taxing on yourselves as people or is it something you can simply switch off?

JA: It really helped having Sam there. We just went and sat on a bench and checked on each other. Without Sam I think I might have found it a lot harder.

Rotten Tomatoes

About the casting process:

JA: I asked (Alan Taylor): “How did you guys decide that it was the right thing?” And he was like: “To be honest, by that point” – cause we did like eight rounds of auditions – “it was more about the way that you interacted when you weren’t doing the scenes. It was about how you listened to each other.” It’s just that we got on, we were pretty comfortable between the things.

Schön magazine

Q: Tell me more about the dynamic between Jacob and you who plays Louis, your love interest?

SR: Jacob and I get on well, we have a close friendship. We bonded strongly throughout the making of this show. He’s one of my favourite scene partners I’ve ever had because it’s just such an easy working relationship. There’s a lot of trust between the two of us. You know, it’s a fucked up toxic relationship. It’s messed up. But at the core of it is like this intense, inescapable love. So, we have to play out a very morbid, obsessive, passionate relationship. I think it would be really hard to do if you hated the person opposite. I’m so grateful that we get on.

ScreenRant at SDCC 2022

Q: Louis and Lestat have an iconic relationship: epic, spanning years and continents, lives ruined, bloodshed. What is it like bringing that to the screen and working together to really establish that immortal bond?

JA: It’s been the greatest partnership – creative partnership – in my life.

SR: Awww.

JA: No, I’m not joking, it really has!

SR: I’d agree, actually. It’s very hard, it’s a very intense relationship that they have, and you have to believe in that relationship. The things they do to each other are so extreme and painful and hurtful. And it’s been fun to have a real buddy to go through that and debrief with at the end of the day.

JA: I’m not sure how we could’ve done everything that we’ve done if we didn’t really trust each other.

SR: Yeah, it would’ve been awful if we hated each other.

JA: And it’s one of the great… you know, in the books, when they join together again – even when you know how awful they’ve been to each other – it’s just like you’re home, and I think that’s something that we always subconsciously tried to make sure was in there. They are kind of like home to each other, particularly after Louis’ human attachments start to fall away.

Eric Bogosian: I just want to say, these two guys (pointing to Jacob and Sam), it’s great watching them, their bonding and everything. The only difference between them and the guys in the fictional world: I’ve never seen them fight.

Bailey Bass: They were walking together alongside the San Diego beach. (To Jacob and Sam) You were! I mean, how adorable is that?

JA: We’re quite co-dependent. I don’t know if that’s a problem (laughs).

SDCC 2022 Panel

SR: It’s the greatest gift that I’ve ever been given, really. And then of course (pointing to Jacob) this guy.

JA: Awww!

SDCC 2022 Press Conference

Eric Bogosian: As a witness to what was going on, watching the way these guys (pointing to JA & SR) interacted was amazing. They had a chemistry that I’ve actually never seen before, and it continues even as we’ve been here for Comic Con. It’s wonderful to watch. I won’t get into it too much, I don’t want to characterise what goes on between them, but there was a great feeling on our set.

TV Insider at SDCC

Q: The level of intimacy that you two have to establish early on is really impressive. Did you know each other? Did you get to spend time hanging out before you got to be these immortal entwined characters?

JA (to SR): What did we do? We had like one Facetime call…

SR: Yeah, we had a Facetime call and then we were texting. We texted a lot, so we go to know each other via text.

JA: Me and Sam talk to each other every day, by the way. We couldn’t cut the cord.

TV Insider’s Trivia Night

SR & JA: Hi, we’re Jam Reiderson and we’re from Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire!

Holding up boards that say:

SR: [I won!]

JA: [But I won (really) at life]

SR: Bastard!

JA: Because I get to be with you, Sam, all the time! That’s the twist.

TV I Say Podcast

JA: Me and Sam spent 40 minutes yesterday in a sticker shop. Like, just looking at stickers and buying stickers. That’s not a thing that you ever really talk about. You don’t go like “Are you into stickers?”, you know? (…) I feel like Sam and I end up mentioning things in passing like “Do you wanna go do this or do you wanna do this?” and the other person’s like “Yeah!” But then, we have… There are so many crossovers. You wouldn’t expect it because we grew up in very different ways in very different countries. But we have crossovers of weird things or very niche things that we’d never discussed, really, right up until the point of promoting this show and doing press, that we’re like, “Great!” Like we’re going to go to Universal today. And I thought “Oh, is it a bit of a weird thing to ask?” Like, I don’t know if it’s awkward to… Normally, I wouldn’t ask a friend if they just wanted to go to Universal. But with Sam, I’ll be like “Should we go to Universal Studios?”, and he’s like “Yeah! Let’s do it!” Do you know what I mean? It’s just, I dunno, we just have similarities that we couldn’t have really… We couldn’t have known that we were so similar, but it really helped us when we were working, even if we didn’t know it at the time.

W Magazine (Oct ’22)

Q: Is there anything specific that you read first thing in the morning?

JA: Realistically, text messages. In the last few months it’s been texts from Sam Reid, who plays Lestat in the show, because he’s in Australia and I’m in the UK. So there’s always some kind of really nice conversation waiting in the morning.

Young Hollywood

JA: I don’t know, we just liked each other straight away. We just had similar thoughts about what this was, about what we were doing. He’s one of my favourite people I’ve ever met in my life, let alone worked with. We just work well together. I can’t even really pinpoint exactly why. We’re going to hang out now, like after this we’re going to go to the Grove…

Q: Oh he’s in LA?

JA: Yeah!

Q: Oh my God, that’s perfect! I was going to say when was the last time you talked to him?

JA: Like half an hour ago.

Q: What’s the best thing that came from IWTV for you?

JA: That’s hard to… Sam Reid. Let’s say Sam Reid.

SFX Magazine – May 2024

That being said, [Rolin] Jones admits that it was a tough adjustment for Anderson and Reid to navigate this season. “It’s very clear, they’re very, very good friends,” Jones observes. “They really do talk every day together. So generally speaking last year, they had each other. They would get off the scene, they’d go to the bench and they would talk.”

92NY Season 2 Advance screening

JA: [Working with Sam on S02] was like slipping on a glove. Like, a glove that fits really well, wasn’t it? (laughs) Wait, is that dirty? (laughs)... An old sock!

Eric Bogosian: I have to say, I’ve never seen two actors in a company behave the way these two guys do. When I got to set and I first met them, they were already as if they were stuck to each other like brothers. (…) And then I watched them just… They follow each other around, like, whenever they’re not in scenes they’re like two puppies playing together.

Instinct Magazine (May ’24)

JA: I think the chemistry between Sam and I is based on a similarity in approach, and the way I think about these characters. Also, we just get on – I think that translates in a way.

AMC Talk (May ’24)

Re working with Sam on “DreamStat”

JA: We didn’t work on it too much ahead of time. Sam and I really trust each other. So, we’d just show up and be like, “we’ll be fine. We’ll just figure it out as we go.” We really listen to each other. (…) [Louis and Lestat’s] dynamic this season is very different. They’re not fighting. They’re not shouting at each other. That kind of intensity has gone a bit, which was fun! That was a new thing for me and Sam to play, this kind of companionship thing. It was fun and I was just glad that Sam was there, and that I was going to get to work with him.

JA: Sam and I have talked about how nice it would’ve been to have had a little mini-series where you just see Lestat and Louis just hanging out in New Orleans. (…) And not necessarily hunting, just like walking, sitting on a bench, chatting, really like the norm.

People Magazine Interview ‘24

Q: What’s a headline you’d use to describe your friendship in real life?

JA & SR: Sam and Jacob go to the movies (laughs)…

JA: … and walk around the city…

SR: … sit in a park and chat for hours.

Sam Reid answers fan questions (AMC)

Q: Who makes you laugh the most on set?

SR: Jacob.

Question from Jacob 😏 (SR reaction: Jacob Anderson? Who's that? 😚): Why is Jacob Anderson your favourite person to work with?

SR: He is very talented and he does some extraordinary work in this season. I feel very lucky to work with him… aside from the fact that he’s a dick. 🥰

Salon (May ’24)

SR: They’re trauma bonded, Louis and Lestat…

JA: … And Jake and Sam also trauma bonded!

Roxane Duran interviewed by Autumn Brown (June ’24)

RD: When I first met Jacob and Sam… They’re just the kindest souls and they really, really take care of each other and of everyone around. […] Jacob and Sam really have that sort of really beautiful friendship, and you see them and they’ve got a huge joy being around each other and also being around everybody else.

[tightjeansjavi]

The Rite of Movement | part five

“something I’m not, but something I can be”

A/N: big disclaimer for this chapter: I do not know if this is actually how the porn industry functions. And while Brazzers is a real porn site, I don’t have any knowledge of how they run things on their site. For the sake of fiction, and the storyline, I wrote Joel’s era in Brazzers as a very very toxic work environment. Please heed the warnings. This takes place pre-miller-co. Joel and baby love have not met yet. Joel does however have a girlfriend during his time at Brazzers. Oh, and I listened to what was I made for on repeat while I wrote this 🥺 thank you to @itsokbbygrl for betaing and being my little cheerleader through this series 💗 and thank you to all my other friends for your endless support on my silly lil stories! (Y’all know who you are and how much I love you!)

~word count: 3.1k~

Summary: it’s Joel Miller’s 30th birthday. 30 years of existing, 12 years working for Brazzers, and what does he really have to show for his life outside of being a pornstar?

Pairing | pornstar!joel x pornstar!female reader

Warnings: angst, implied smut, toxic work environment, implied workplace abuse, mentions of the porn industry, misogynistic comments/behavior towards women in the porn industry (not by Joel), feelings of body insecurity, shame, mentions of smoking, grief, resentment, language, mature themes, +18 minors dni!

series masterlist

Los Angeles, CA. September 26, 2009

An alarm clock blares on Joel’s nightstand, the shrill sound pierces his eardrums, sending his arm flying out from under the covers, smacking the top of the device, silencing it with a heavy groan rumbling up his chest.

6:00 a.m. the sun has barely just begun to peek over the mountains, the bustle of LA traffic, late-night goers returning home, early-morning risers preparing for another droning day.

The big 30: The age where you were expected to have your shit together. No more making foolish mistakes, no more job hopping, you should be married with kids and have a house with a white picket fence and drive a minivan. You should be invested in the stock market, your lawn should be properly trimmed, maybe you even make enough money to own a vacation home.

Joel hadn’t a fucking clue what he wanted out of life. He wasn’t married. He didn’t have any kids. He lived in an apartment with his brother Tommy, splitting the rent between their paychecks. LA never felt like home to him. He liked the palm trees and the beach. He hated LA traffic, smog, and that stupid Hollywood sign that alluded to a lifestyle that only the ‘chosen’ members of high society would get to indulge in.

City of Angels? Not even close.

30 years old, and feeling like he had nothing to show for his life outside of being a pornstar. A branding identity that shamed him more times than he was willing to admit. Is this all I’m good for?

Brazzers was the bane of his existence for 12 years, and yet every time he would try and put his foot down and quit, he was lured right back in. He loved sex just like anyone else. He loved the intimacy, the closeness, the connection to another human being. Above all, he loved making his partners feel good. To make them come, fall apart on his tongue, fingers, or his cock. To hear their pleasured cries, high-pitched real moans of his name.

It was euphoric for him, to make another person feel so good that they completely lose themselves in the moment, in the feeling of the rite of movement. He used to think that this was enough, that the act of sex and unbridled pleasure was all viewers would want to see. He thought he was enough.

But in the adult film industry, sex was never just enough.

He didn’t like being told how he should fuck.

Yank her hair harder.

Slap her around a little.

Squeeze her cheeks till she cries.

Choke her.

I want to see bruises on her ass, Joel.

Fuck her like you mean it, like you hate her. Like she’s your bitch. Your property.

Are we making a porno here or what? Don’t wipe her tears. That’s not what men want. They want to see a cunt being pounded. C’mon, Joel. This is supposed to be a male fantasy!

He learned how to dissociate and remove himself from the scene entirely. He worked on autopilot, tuning out the jarring voices that demanded more from him and his partner(s). And when the passion faded, he struggled to stay hard and on top of his game.

And even with the warm, wet mouth of a fluffer sucking his soft cock, he wasn’t turned on. Not in the slightest and he could feel the shame creeping up on his neck as the director barked at him to get his shit together.

“What do you mean you’re not able to get hard, Miller? You got a hot piece of ass under you, man! What the hell else do you want? Y’know, would it really hurt for you to be more like your brother?”

“She’s got a name, you know.” Joel bit back, grinding his jaw back and forth. The blatant disrespect that women faced on a day to day basis was downright disgusting.

“Oh for fuck’s sake. You make pornos, Joel! Or did you forget? Stop acting like a fucking sissy and do your goddamn job.”

“I need a minute,” he gruffed out and gently pushed the fluffer's mouth off of his cock. He strode past the director and the rest of the set crew and pulled his boxers on in a haste.

“Fine. You get 10 minutes, Miller. And when you get back, I expect you to be fucking ready, and hard.”

Joel didn’t respond as he shucked on his shorts and threw on his hoodie, grabbing his phone and pack of cigarettes to stuff in his pocket. He averted making eye contact with the director, shoulder checking him on his way out of the room.

10 minutes, Miller!

Fuck you is what Joel really wanted to say as he walked at a fast past towards the nearest exit in the long hallway.

-

The sun was blinding the moment he stepped outside into the back alley. He whipped his phone out, nervously pacing back and forth as he dialed Tommy’s number, listening to the dial tone ring and ring.

“Hey, you old fart! Feelin’ 30 yet?” Tommy said playfully.

“Yeah. I’m feelin’ 30 alright.” Joel grumbled, sinking back against the side of the building.

“What’s up? I know how much you hate your birthday, but why do you sound so—”

“I’m fuckin’ quitting, Tommy. I can’t do this shit anymore. I can’t fuckin’ do it. I’m about five seconds away from stormin’ back in there and beatin’ the living shit out of the director.” He snapped, carding his fingers through his hair, gripping the roots tightly. “I’m throwin’ the towel in, and I ain’t lookin’ back.”

“Woah, woah, woah! Hold on now, what the fuck happened? Are you sure you just want to—”

“Tommy.” Joel warned him, squeezing his eyes shut as he pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. “Don’t start this with me, okay? I need to know if you’re with me on this because I sure as hell ain’t leavin’ you out here on your own.”

“I ain’t a kid anymore, Joel. If you want to quit for your own reasons, that’s fine, and I support you, but that doesn’t mean that—” he sighed deeply, weighing out his words in his head before he said, “of course I’m with you on this.”

“I’m not gonna force you to quit, Tommy. I jus’ don’t think this cesspool is fuckin’ good for either of us. Talked to a few others that were thinkin’ of quitting, but no one has pulled the trigger yet. We can do some amateur work till we find our footing again, and I want to move back home, Tommy. I want to move back to Texas. I fuckin’ hate this state. Everythin’ is too damn expensive.”

“I’ll follow you wherever you go, Joel. You know I will. But what about…Carmen and Sarah? You jus’ gonna pack your shit up and not tell her?”

Joel felt his heart twist and clench, knocking the air from his lungs because for the first time in his 30 years of life, his heart was going to be broken, and there was nothing he could do to prevent the inevitable from happening.

“She’s never gonna accept me for who I am and my job, Tommy. She resents it, I know she does. And Sarah will eventually resent me too. She’ll grow up and feel ashamed that her stepfather is a fuckin’ pornstar. They both deserve better than what I can offer them. It’s not like I can just start over and get a respectable job! What established company is gonna hire a guy who’s CV consists of a highschool diploma, a year of working construction jobs and 12 years in the adult film industry?”

Tommy felt his heart break for his brother, splitting right down the middle. “Joel…” he trailed off.

“Her friends treat me differently, and everytime I’ve brought up the potential of meeting her family, she changes the subject on me, Tommy. And you know what? I don’t blame her. Who the fuck would want to introduce their pornstar boyfriend to anyone, let alone her family? I jus’ figured I’d cut her losses sooner rather than later. And even if things were to work out, and I get a new job, a new life, am I just supposed to accept the knowledge of knowin’ that the entire time we have been together, she’s resented my job? Some things just aren’t meant to work out, and that’s fine. I’ll let her go and she’ll meet a nice, normal, man with a good stable job who doesn’t fuck for a living.”

Joel Miller. Paging, Joel. You’re needed on set. Hurry the fuck up—

“Fuckers.” Joel muttered under his breath as he rose to his feet. “I gotta go, okay? I’ll text you in a bit.”

“Wait, Joel,” Tommy started, trying to think of what he could possibly say to his brother that would make the situation better. “Everythin’ is gonna be okay. It’ll all work out in the end.”

“Yeah, sure.” He replied flatly. “I’ll see you.” he ended the call, shoving his phone back into his hoodie pocket and pushed open the exit door just as his name was called over the intercom again.

This time he was going to put his foot down for good. He wasn’t going to be lured back in. He was done. His mind was made up and there would be no turning back.

-

“Fucking finally. I said 10 minutes, Miller. You’re lucky I even gave you that.” The director scoffed and snapped his fingers at the fluffer to do her job.

Joel stopped her with a gentle hand along her shoulder before he made direct eye contact with the director. “That won’t be necessary.”

“What the fuck do you mean that won’t be necessary? We were supposed to be wrapped up with this shit already. I have a freshie to introduce to you afterwards, so if we can just get a move on—”

“I said, that won’t be necessary.” Joel calmly reiterated as he grabbed his bag from the floor and slung it over his shoulder.

“Boy, you better fucking start talking. What do you mean that won’t be necessary?!”

“It means that I quit. And I hope that freshie and every other woman here fuckin’ quits while they still have the chance.”

The atmosphere in the brightly lit room immediately shifted and the tension was palpable. Joel’s onscreen partner was shocked, the fluffer was shocked along with the rest of the film crew.

“You have gotta fucking joking me right now.” The director laughed bitterly, shaking his head. “You got some fucking nerve, Miller.”

Joel shrugged, glancing around the room before he turned towards the door, grasping the handle in his palm and pushed it open. He paused, looking over his shoulder, giving his onscreen partner a small, reassuring nod, “oh, and just a little word of advice? If you want sex to sell, and for Brazzers to not tank like the fuckin’ stock market, start by treatin’ women in the industry with respect. Jus’ a little food for thought. Pass that onto the CEO, and then tell him to shove it right up his ass.”

He walked out after that, listening to the director holler his name and something along the lines of, you’ll be back. They always fucking come back!

And on his way out, his shoulder gently made contact with another body rushing up the stairwell. “‘S’cuse me.” He rasped.

You didn’t get a look at the stranger's face on your way up. You were too focused on the fact that you were running late, and couldn’t afford to be potentially fired.

He didn’t get a look at your face either.

-

Joel opted to be alone for the rest of the day, sitting on the hood of his car, smoking through an entire pack of cigarettes while he watched the clouds roll by, and tourists stop to take pictures of the infamous Hollywood sign. He thought about his life up until this point.

30 years on this shithole we call earth. 12 years spent in the adult film industry, and never had he felt so lost and alone. Hours away from ending his first ever long term relationship and leaving the past behind.

Fuck 30. He thought to himself.

The inevitable settled into his bones as the sun slowly began to set behind the mountains, creating stunning hues of pink, oranges and purples in the sky. His phone buzzed on the exterior of the hood of his car, tearing him away from his thoughts when Carmen’s name popped up on the screen.

Hey, birthday boy. Are we still on for Thai food tonight? x.

Hey, baby. Yeah, of course. Can’t wait to see you.

5 missed calls from Tommy

10 messages from Tommy.

What happened to fucking calling me later, Joel?!

Why is your phone going straight to voicemail!

Can you just let me know that you’re okay?!

Joel.

Dude.

Pick up your phone!

And you call me the bad texter?!

This isn’t funny.

I didn’t sign up for the silent treatment!

If you’re dead in a ditch somewhere I’m gonna fucking kill you!!

He typed out a quick message to his brother informing him that he was in fact still alive and that he would be home soon.

What he wasn’t expecting was Carmen and Tommy to host a surprise birthday dinner at his apartment. He wasn’t mad at his brother for not giving him a heads up, and it wasn’t like Tommy could tell Carmen a simple, hey, by the way, my brother is going to break up with you and he wants to move back to Texas!

But all Joel could feel now when she pressed her lips to his in a sweet kiss, and planted a silly little party hat on his head, was guilt. An overwhelming tidal wave of guilt and shame for what he was going to do. And throughout the evening his guilt began to fester like an untreated wound. Bubbling pus leaked from his heartstrings like a broken faucet when he opened his unexpected present from Carmen.

It was a pocket wrist watch with an olive green strap that fit his wrist perfectly.

“You’re always misplacing your phone, so I figured that this would help you tell the time better? I know it isn’t much—”

He interjected softly, looking over at her with a small smile tugging on his lips, “It’s perfect. Thank you.” I’m so sorry.

And when Tommy stepped outside for a smoke and to give Joel and Carmen a bit of privacy, the energy shifted and Joel could feel the thread between them being pulled tight, threatening to snap at any given moment.

“Joel, is everything okay? You’ve hardly said a word to me tonight.”

And instead of responding, he got up from the couch in a haste, trying to keep his nerves at bay, but truthfully? He was panicking and it was written all over his face. “I’m fine, Carm. I jus’—I need some air.” He walked the short distance to the little balcony, pulling the door open as he stepped outside into the cooling night air.

Lights shimmered in the distance, palm trees swayed from a breeze off the coast. 30 years old and he felt like the biggest fucking asshole on the planet. Can I fix this? Can I make it work?

He stared down at the watch on his wrist, the tiny spokes ticking away as he rested his forearms along the paint chipped railing, listening to the soft squeak of the sliding door being pulled open as the blood rushed in his ears.

He tapped his foot nervously, jaw ticking under the fading light at the realization that there was no turning back.

“Do you love me?” He suddenly spoke, teeth grinding down on the inside of his cheek, the taste of copper bursting on his tongue. A reminder come morning when he would awake to the same soreness in his mouth that he feels in his heart.

“Joel…” she trailed off, standing alongside him, rubbing her arm as a self-soothing gesture.

“Do you love me…unconditionally?” His question hung heavy in the air, and when she didn’t immediately answer, tears began to prick the corner of his eyes, stinging and blurring his vision.

“Baby, please…why are—”

“Please don’t call me that right now, Carmen. Please.” he sniffled, staring back out over the railing at the shimmering mirage of Los Angeles. “If you did love me unconditionally, you would have answered me right away. It’s okay, I’m not mad at you. I could never be mad at you. I jus’—I know you resent me for being a pornstar. I’ve known about it for a while,” he said softly, feeling a tear rolling down along the side of his nose and drip down over his lips. His dewy eyed gaze met hers briefly, before he looked away. “And I also know that you would never ask me to quit, but you and I both know that’s what you want from me.”

There was no point in trying to deny it any longer. There was no bad blood, no bitterness. Just two adults facing the reality that is life. And sometimes…relationships don’t work out. The passion fades and resentment rears its ugly head.

“And no matter how many times I have tried to earnestly explain to you why I chose this career path, you will never understand. And I would never try to force you to. But it’s not fair to you, myself, or Sarah to continue this relationship when you will never accept me for who I am, Carmen.”

“You’re right, Joel.” She said quietly, her own tears beginning to brew along her waterline. “I’m so sorry.”

He swallowed the lump growing in his throat and the sob threatening to leave his lips, “I am too.”

There isn’t much left to say as they hug for the last time. She wishes him well in life and he does the same. There’s a new ache in his chest at the thought of him no longer being involved in Sarah’s life anymore. But he believes she’ll be better off without him, too.

And when she leaves his apartment for the last time, taking almost 3 years of memories along with her as the front door clicks shut, and her echoing footsteps down the hall become softer and softer, he lets out the sob he had been suppressing, sinking down to his knees in defeat.

Tears stream down his cheeks as a car horn blares below on the street.

Fuck you, asshole! Get out of the road! The owner of a sleek BMW yells with the window rolled down to a teenager crossing the street on his bike.

30 years old and heartbroken. So much for having his shit together.

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[minustwofingers]

cool about it teaser

pairing: closetedfem!reader x ellie

request? yes, by @gold-dustwomxn (:

summary: life in the apocalypse is hard enough. the last thing you need is unrequited feelings for your best friend—who is very much off limits. so you'll just be cool about it. really cool about it. set in a loose interpretation of canon where i toy around with the timeline and storyline just the slightest and this is also a bit of a slowburn

warnings: ur closeted asf, queer angst, gross men, explicit language, substance use

a/n: hey guys i haven't really been posting much recently, but i wanted to at least post two scenes from this series so u guys have an idea of what to expect...also so u guys can tell me which one you want me to work on more (love is a laserquest or this one). i hope u enjoy...sorry this one is a little disjointed! (there are many events that happen between the two scenes im sharing w u as a little treat)

I. (opening scene)

The revelation that your feelings towards your best friend had become complicated arrives with the dead of winter. It’s strange, really, how something within you came to life just as the rest of the world began to die. 

If you were wiser, you’d find ways to explain it away, to rationalize all the weird thoughts in your head. You’d cite the chill in the air. The holiday spirit running through Jackson. The desolation that came with your only outdoor companions being the brown corpses of deciduous trees and infected that hadn’t frozen in the winter storms that kept battering Wyoming. 

But with age came wisdom, and both of those virtues were in short supply in a post-apocalyptic world. So, you resign yourself to cataloging away these feelings and pretending like everything was absolutely normal and cool. 

The bad thing about having good things, you think to yourself bitterly one day as you watch Ellie’s eyes light up as she rambles in her room as you sit on her bed about a comic book Joel had found her, is that they’re risky. High risk—high reward. Ellie was special to you in a way that no one else was. And using this logic, losing her would bring such an unforeseen devastation that you weren’t sure that you could go on. 

So, normal. Cool. Chill. Because you cannot afford to fuck this one up. 

“I love when you tell me about your comics,” you tell her in a way that’s definitely not sappy sweet and gooey. 

She smiles crookedly back at you. “You’re such a fucking liar. I know you couldn’t give a shit about these.” 

“Am not!” You throw a punch at her arm, feeling your heart twist as she just grins wider. “For the record, I do give a shit. Many, actually.”

“That sounds gross.” 

“Your words, not mine.” 

And it’s absolutely gut wrenching how she can just smile at you like that, like she’s not holding your heart in her fist.

“So, uh, Cat,” you blurt out. You’d been staring at her for too long. “Dina said that you two were—uh…” 

You wave your hand around in the air like you’re sifting through thousands of possible word combinations. In reality, you know exactly what you need to say to get the answer you’re searching for. You just don’t want to ask. 

“Well…” She blushes. Her eyes drop to her hands, where her fingers are toying with the bits of cuticle she hasn’t already torn off. 

“I knew it!” you croon, hoping that the boatload of dread that just dropped in your stomach isn’t as obvious as it feels. “Tell me everything.”

“Nothing to tell,” she says. “Nothing yet, at least. It’s stupid but—I just noticed that she hangs around me a lot, you know? And, like, touches me more than she needs to. Shit like that. I dunno.”

The wound deep inside you splits like the fake grin on your lips. “Wowwwww. Look at you!” 

Ellie rolls her eyes. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“I mean,” she says, her eyes twinkling conspiratorially, “What about Eddie? Jesse told me that you spend a lot of time with him.”

“We’re patrol partners,” you offer. It’s not a lie. You’re just choosing to omit the part where Eddie spends half his patrol staring longingly in your direction while you pretend not to notice. 

“I know that.”

“It’s…” You gnaw on your bottom lip. “I don’t know how I feel about that right now.” 

That’s not a lie either. Eddie is…nice. All the other girls like him, except for Dina (she has Jesse) and Ellie (she has another very obvious reason). He’s attractive. At least, that’s what Bonnie tells you. Apparently the buzzed hair and heavy bluntness found in all of his features is considered hot. 

But just because you’re not into him now doesn’t mean you could never be. That’s what your mother used to say about your father—she hadn’t liked him upon their first meeting. But it changed with time, and you’d rather have someone than be all alone. 

Ellie hums, picking at the cuticle of her thumb. “He likes you.”

“So I’ve heard.” 

“Well,” she says, “I heard Jesse’s putting on another bonfire tonight. Want to walk there together after dinner?” 

You spend another evening staring across the fire at your best friend, watching the warm glow of the flames warp and distort the shape of her and Cat, pressed up against each other and smiling wide. You aren’t sure why it makes you so uncomfortable to see them together. Homophobia? No. Maybe? You recently learned that that was a thing, but you don’t consider yourself bigoted, and being a homophobe is more of an opt-in situation, right? 

But when you try to reach deep inside to find a more plausible answer, there’s nothing. 

It’s your detachment from reality that lets Eddie drape a heavy, hard arm over your shoulder. 

“Hey,” he whispers into your ear. His breath is hot and warm. 

“Hey,” you whisper back, wanting nothing more than to get away. Thankfully, Ellie is too preoccupied with Cat to even look your way. You’re sure that you’d die if she saw Eddie touching you like this. 

“You look really pretty tonight.”

“Thank you.”

It’s like someone shone a spotlight on you, hung a sign on your neck that said, I am perceived and desired by men. You don’t know why this makes your skin crawl so much. 

Eddie’s fingers are tracing patterns on the flesh of your arm. You find that you’re grateful for the extra layer your sweatshirt sleeve provides. You don’t want him to touch you—don’t want to know what it’s like for him to deliberately make contact with your skin. 

The next time he speaks to you, it’s in a murmur that you suppose is meant to sound seductive. “You’re quiet today.”

“Just a little tired.” And now you feel guilty, because Eddie really hasn’t done anything wrong. It’s you who has an issue with a boy who’s perfectly nice and clearly likes you. 

He laughs like you’d said something funny, tightening his arm so you press into his side. His body is blazing hot like a furnace, and it feels hard and foreign.

II. (scene from somewhere in the middle )

“Sorry!” You titter at the crowd of your friends who formed at the sliding glass door. “Um—sorry.” 

It seems to be the only thing you can say. 

“Cat,” Ellie says, an edge of desperation in her voice. “Cat, please, it’s not like—”

“I’m pretty fucking sure of what I saw,” snaps Cat. She turns to Eddie, a vicious glint in her eyes. “Didn’t know your girl swung that way.” 

And then she shoves past the mass of people, Ellie kicking off from the deck railing with a stream of apologies falling from her lips as she follows behind. 

Eddie walks forward, confusion the dominant emotion in his wide face.

“Uh—I didn’t—”

“I’m really drunk,” you say to him, feeling the tears begin to spill down your cheeks. “It’s not like that. I promise it’s not like that. I don’t know why I did that.”

“Hey,” he says, opening his arms. “Come here. Why are you crying?” 

“I don’t know,” you sputter, stepping into him and pressing your snotty face into his shirt. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Fuck.”

“It’s really okay.” His hand finds the flat part of your back between your shoulder blade and rubs circles. “It’s just a chick. If it were, like, I dunno, Jesse, I would’ve been angry.”

“You’re not mad?” you ask, pulling away to look up at him. Maybe there’s something tonight you didn’t ruin. 

He smiles down at you. “‘Course not. Some guys find that shit hot, you know. Two girls kissing like that.”

The smile that seemed so innocent at first sends a sharp, chilling pang through your chest. He doesn’t seem to notice your hesitation in the way your face falls as his head dips to kiss you, doesn’t seem to register the disgust you exhibit until you have to shove yourself away.

“I’m really drunk,” you repeat, looking anywhere but his face. “I want to go to bed.” 

“I can come—”

“No.”

final a/n: like i said so sorry about how disjointed this is. i just want to get a feel for what my readers are more interested in for now!!

[mydearsteven]

Double Stevens!!

promt: in which SOMEHOW Steven got himself split up with his gem-sona(?).. please don’t ask me how

featuring: Teen!Steven x Reader x Pink Steven

Steven has been rather off as of late, he rarely came out from his house, not attending any of little homeschool meetings, and became a little distant from you. It made you really sad, so today you decided that you’ll buy him his favorite donut and visit him on his house.

“hey, Lars! how’s the business doing?” the pink haired boy immediately look towards you and smiled once he recognized who it was. “Oh hey __! man its been so long since i’ve seen you. And my business is doing great than ever, the gems really liked my baked goods.” Lars smiled at you feeling happy that the two of you finally saw eachother again after a few weeks. He instinctively look around to see that there’s no Steven following you from behind, it was unusual for Lars to not see his half gem half human friend not following his partner like a lost puppy.

“hey __? where’s Steven? its unusual for him to not holding your hand or following you until the end of the day.” Lars questioned you with his head slowly tilting to the side, you only let out a sigh. “i don’t know Lars.. he hasn’t been out from his house for like three days? four? though i want to visit him today.” you dropped your head only to be patted by Lars.

“its okay __! i’m sure he’s okay, that’s good that you visit him today. Here’s your order, have a nice day!” you took your orders from him and wave at him while walking towards Steven’s house.

you walked towards Steven’s house feeling that something bad must’ve happened to why he hasn’t come out from his house for the past couple of days, your anxieties grew on each steps you took. Once you’re finally at his house you gently knock on the door and opened up the door only yo be met by two Stevens.

“__? wait WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE” Steven looked at you hopefully before finally realizing that you’re inside his house and was looking at Pink Steven. You look at both of the Stevens with wide eyes, yes today you wanted to visit your boyfriend… boyfriends..? but you didn’t expect that there would be two of him now.

Steven could only ran to you and hugged you close, feeling relieved that you’re here now. He’s tired dealing his pink version already, you only laughed softly as you rub circles around his back. You noticed that Pink Steven was walking towards you two but the thing you didn’t expect was him hugging you too from behind. Now you have two Stevens hugging you.

What you didn’t know was Steven sending a death stare to his other half while Pink Steven could only give Steven his usual stoic face. After hugging them both for awhile you finally took a notice of the bags under Steven’s eyes, indicating that he probably doesn’t sleep while dealing of his other half.

“Steven, please don’t tell me you didn’t sleep for the past couple of days..?” you take your hand to put it on his cheek while rubbing it gently, making him to sigh and put his hand on yours. “im sorry, __. But he’s very hard to take care with without him breaking every single thing he touch.” Steven spoke in a soft manner but still gritted his teeth on the last words, you pout at him and turn around to Pink Steven only to see him grab your other hand and put it against his, wanting to feel your warm hand.

your pout turned into a soft smile before sighing and took both of the Steven’s to his(their?) room with you sitting in between of the two Stevens. The three of you are ended up watching a movie. The one scene has a lover kissing their partner over and over again on their face, that leads Pink Steven wanting to try to do that to you since you’re technically his partner right?

you were caught by suprise when you were attacked by kisses from Pink Steven, you could see a glimpse of a darker shade of pink on his cheeks as he send kisses towards all over your face. Steven was flabbergasted at the sight of HIS partner with a version of himself. He take this as a challenge and now begin kissing your face also. You were laughing so much because of how much it tickles with the two of them now kissing your face over and over again.

let’s say that the night ends up the three of you abandoning the movies and went off into a deep sleep with smiles on your faces while cuddling close to eachothers.

[yourlocalcryptidbee]

⭐SFW Alphabet with Lucifer Morningstar (finally)

The SFW Alphabet I was meant to do awhile ago. At any rate, grab some snacks and a beverage, get comfy and enjoy <3

Template can be found here

~ 2.2 k words GN! Reader mostly, F! Reader at times Want the NSFW one? Find it here! NOT PROOFREAD

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

This man is so affectionate, he cares so deeply about you, Charlie, Vaggie even. The only problem is well. . . it can be hard to see how much he cares sometimes. One of the ways Lucifer shows his affection is by being somebody to lean on or someone you can trust to take care of things. It may not be in your face obvious but trust that he’ll always be there when you need him.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

A friendship with Lucifer would be hard because he’s either wary of your motives or deeply in love with you. No inbetween. It would be a few lifetimes before Lucifer could consider you to be his BEST friend. At any rate, know that it’d be one of the most fulfilling friendships you’ve ever had, filled with laughter and good times. We’ve all got to be honest with ourselves, friendship between you and the devil would have had to start either working for him or naturally through Charlie. He does not get out much, not that you complain, just means more Lucifer for you ;)

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

A real cuddle bug this one here. He is just wrapped around you, he loves being able to curl up into someone after years of not getting to. Surprisingly though, he likes to hold you more than he likes to be held. It makes him feel better when he gets to protect you from the cold, makes him feel useful, wanted even. 

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He was ready to settle down the moment he saw you. In terms of cooking, Lucifer is an amazing chef. You can best believe that you’ve tested his cooking, thoroughly. Whatever you want he can make for you, all you’ve got to do is ask suagr. Cleaning on the other hand. . . well he knows how to clean. . .yeahhhh, he’s pretty messy but he knows where everything is! At least he thinks he knows where everything is. 

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He’d be incredibly calm. If he’s breaking up with you then ya’lls spark has long since been dead. Lucifer would never do something like break up with you, spur of the moment so understand that he’s thought it over plenty and it’s better if you two split. Even though he’s no longer in love with you, he still respects you, so the breakup would be done gently and he’d do his best to leave with no bad blood between you. 

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quickly would they want to get married?)

After Lilith, Lucifer isn’t the most eager to go and get married again. Don’t get him wrong he wants to get married to you eventually but give him some time, will you? He’s been through a lot. The day he realized he was ready was the time where Lucifer called you Charlie’s mom to Charlie. “Charlie, can you ask your mom when that art gala is?” “. . . . .my-my mom?” “DID I SAY MOM? WHA-HAHA! AHEM, I MEANT MY WIFE-SHIT GIRLFRIEND! FuCk mE”

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He is a very, very, VERY thin piece of glass-he’s surprisingly durable, but still is glass. Lucifer hasn’t really been able to catch a break, between being thrown out of his home, being villainized by the creatures he helped give free will to, the natural stressors of being king of a realm, his wife of like forever abandoning him and finally being thrust into a long depressive episode, yeah gentle is an understatement. Lucifer would trade his Angelic strength for a little stability any day. 

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

A good marker of how much Lucifer loves you is how tightly he hugs you. Are your airways closed? Then Lucifer is absolutely enamoured with you. Can barely feel his touch? You're dangerously close to being in Alastor levels of hated. He always has to touch you, your hand tucked snuggly in the crook of his elbow, his hand around your waist, his tails rubbing slow circles on the back of your calves, the list goes on and on. Holding onto your waist with his head on your shoulder while you two sway to some music is his favourite way to hug you. 

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It took him a while before he said it to you. He tried so many times but he chickened out last second every time he tried. The first time he said ‘I love you’ was adorable. Lucifer started out loud, suave and confident and then it was time to say the word and all that confidence fell faster than he fell out of Heaven. He barely whispered the word, his face getting redder and redder and- you get the picture. Your stupid little smirk did not help his situation! He blames your gorgeous face for all his struggles. 

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

You may as well call this man Nick Jonas because He. Is. So. Jealous. Fair enough though, have you seen yourself? Lucifer wants to keep you all to himself, baby. I’m sure you don’t mind. He channels this jealousy in a very. . .long way. If you want to see what Lucifer does when he’s jealous then let me direct you here <3 

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Lucifer will always kiss you on your hand, right above your ring, once a day, every single day. Best believe he kisses you feverishly, passionately. Why breathe when he can keep kissing you? Lucifer’s kisses will range between slow and sensual to boyish pecks all across your face and arms. Although he will always love it when you kiss him on the lips, there’s something in the way you’ll kiss his horns or tail when they’re out. Helps make the pain of what he went through hurt a little less and he loves you for it.   

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

1000/10. Kids love him and part of him misses the days of toys scattered across the house, the pitter-patter of tiny feet and how Charlie used to fit so perfectly in his lap. He’s not getting emotional, you are! He’d take the sleepless nights if he got to have those kinds of memories again. And hey, getting to see you pregnant is a welcomed bonus.  

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

With his job, the two of you don’t get to spend too many mornings together. His side of the bed is often cold by the time you wake up. There are those special days though, where Lucifer doesn’t have to get up at the ass crack of dawn and he cherises those mornings the most. The mornings where he gets to wake up with you in his arms and he gets to lie there and reflect on all the reasons he loves you until you wake up. He can wrap his wings around you both until well into the afternoon.  

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Your nights have a specific routine. The two of you will sneak out of your room and down to the kitchen, the staff long since gone home. You’ll make some tea while Lucifer will scavenge for something sweet to snack on. You’ll sit on the ground and catch up on all that happened that day, some days you’ll sit in silence, others you're trying to muffle your laughs to not wake the whole damn manor. At some point, Lucifer will portal you back to your room and you’ll curl up in his arms and fall asleep.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

You will be learning things about this man for the rest of eternity. Some scars were made from pain others were made when he went to Georgia. He’s slow to open up but that’s because he’s been hurt so many times, give him time.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He’s got the patience of a saint until you threaten his family. All of a sudden he’s got to go the patience store because he just ran out! 

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Lucifer has a really good memory! His Achilles heel are names but hey he’s never messed up Charlie’s name! That’s because he named her He remembers all the important things like he knows Maggie's birthday! He knows when she fell from Heaven, etc. Lucifer should know those things though, Angie is Charlie’s girlfriend after all. 

R = Remember (What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

Lucifer’s favourite moment in your guy’s relationship was when you were teaching Charlie something and you looked every part her mother. He knew at that moment everything was going to be okay, his girls got along and he finally had a full family again.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Lucifer is incredibly protective. He is the big boss of Hell, he’s got his ways to protect you. Nothing is too much for his girls. Lucifer is a fallen angel, nothing in Hell can hurt him. He doesn’t need you to protect him, like he does for you. He needs you to protect his heart though, it’s bruised and could use your loving, so be kind. 

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

If it’s for you then there is no amount of effort that is enough in his mind. Lucifer believes there is nothing that he can do to show how much he loves you, he tries to though. Every date, gift, and anniversaryhe plans is done so meticulously.  

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He loses track of time very easily. It’s so bad that he didn’t realize just how long it had been since he last saw Charile. And the last time Lucifer saw Charlie was when she still lived in the manor, aka its been a long time. The only thing he could remember was how long Lilith had been gone for, which. . . didn’t help his depression. He’s getting better now, especially with you by his side! Instead of knowing how long Lilith had been gone down to the hour, it down to the month. . .progress! amiright?

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Sin. of. Pride. He knows damn well what he looks like. Korean skincare ain’t got nothing on his routines.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Lucifer will feel weird if he hasen’t seen you in the last few HOURS. This man would crumble without you. If your not there what’s the point? Truly? 

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Lucifer could recite the Bible word for word if he wanted to. He found one eons ago when a distraught sinner came into his home complaining about being in hell, waving the book around like it meant anything. He read it. Every last word. The book has some. . . interesting opinions about him. So what if he still has it? So what if he’ll read it to feel like he is still divine and he hasn’t been completely corrupted by sinners. And so what if every story including him has been ripped out, never to be seen again. So what if he is homesick? So what if that stupid book is tattered with pages falling out? It’s his only piece of home that wasn’t marred by the blasphomous place he rules over. 

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He doesn’t like when people blindly follow him. Why do sinners do this? Lucifer didn’t chose to be king. This is his eternal punishment. Why would he do anything that would benefit the thousands of thorns in his side? This proves just how idioctic sinners are.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)He’d never admit it but. . . he has a dad snore. It is the LOUDEST thing as well. Especially when he’s in a deep sleep. Lord help you and your neighbours. Baby boy is loud. Lucifer also falls asleep soooo quickly, he’ll lie down and is immediately out and to make it better, when he’s out, he’s out. There is no waking him up.

[neos127]

DIE FOR YOU — SIM JAEYUN (chapter eight)

spider-man!jake x fem!reader; synopsis. university student and daily bugle intern jake sim does his best to juggle having two separate lives. unfortunately y/n, who also interns at the daily bugle, is obsessed with finding out who the popular vigilante ‘spider-man’ is. with their constant close proximity and jake’s new found crush, y/n is closer to figuring out his secret identity by the day.

your hands began to shake as the red and blue clad hero landed in front of you, stopping you in your tracks. you gasped, not expecting to see spider-man. you had nearly given up on the chase, settling down on the rooftop of the daily bugle to clear your head. you were about to give up for the day, wondering if it had been too early for the hero to come out on patrol.

“um-uh hi! could i have a second of your time?” you asked timidly, feeling embarrassed by the question. usually when it came down to talking to strangers, you were a pro. journaling gave you that practice over the years, but this felt different. you were talking to someone who could hold a truck over his head and swung on webs around the city— very different from your usual clientele.

“yeah, of course. is there something you needed?” the man asked and you began to nod your head.

“me and my coworker are writing an article and it’s about spider-man. we were hoping to get an interview with you so that way new york can finally get to know its hero and how your intentions are only pure— at least i hope they are.” you nervously explained, your eyes darting between his masked face and the skyline behind him.

“where’s your partner?” spider-man asked and it was then you realized what people had been talking about with the accent. his ‘partner’ sounded like ‘partnah’ and you bit back a small smile.

“well, we split up to look for you. you’re all over manhattan and even sometimes out of manhattan so we decided that only one person needed to do the interview and we would both keep an eye out. it just seems that i found you first.” you replied, suddenly feeling more relaxed. the hero nodded, seeming to eye you up and down before speaking up again.

“what would you like to know?” he asked, causing you to grin and pull out your notebook.

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taglist; @odxrilove @junityy @hittoki @jaklvbub @fariest @besuqueos @n1k1mura @k1ttylvr @francinethings23 @sakiimeo @serafilms @riksaes @dreamiestay @iluvkyo @wonunuwoo @jentlecoeur @greyminyoon1 @sincerelyrki @ilovejungwonandhaechan @vousty @frickyratz @supportstudies @roastandtoast @letwiiparkjay @jakeyverse @cafeyuns @keilovr @rosas-in-the-garden @wonxlvr @ilyjxdz

— ky’s notes; y/n and hee are just good friends! there’s not gonna be any love triangle or anything so they are strictly platonic! that doesn’t mean that jake might not get jealous tho…

[perfectsunlight]

𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐠𝐮𝐞

𝗮𝗵𝗻 𝘆𝘂𝗷𝗶𝗻 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

𝗵𝗶𝗴𝗵 𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗹 𝗮𝘂! 𝘆/𝗻 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲 𝗮𝗳...

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: 𝗻𝗼𝗻𝗲

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 𝟯,𝟯𝟲𝟬

ahn yujin was out of your league in every way, shape, and form. you were the most quiet and antisocial person in the entire school, and if it wasn’t for the fact that you were partners for a paper, you wouldn’t have even met her. yujin was talented and gorgeous, a deadly combination that left others pining after her for god knows how long. unfortunately, you were one of those people. you knew better than to fall for the girl who was good at everything. 

from her vocal skills to her dancing, she was the epitome of what everyone wanted to be. usually her locker was surrounded with confession notes and the occasional flowers, and truth be told those flowers made you sneeze whenever you walked past them, so you couldn’t imagine how annoying it must be for her. the girl who was good at all things could not avoid the mob of people that followed her everywhere.

however, there was also one other thing ahn yujin was not good at: english papers.

Its the reason why you and yujin got paired up in the first place. yujin’s grades were anything but stellar, and yours were practically perfect. your teacher had asked you to help yujin and not just do the entire paper yourself, which made you internally groan because that had been your plan all along. unfortunately, that landed you into your present predicament with the brunette in front of you. 

“yujin, that’s not how you spell it.” you timidly pointed out on the google doc in front of her. you two were currently writing a paper on the impacts of shakespearean literature, but unfortunately ahn yujin kept misspelling the word “shakespeare.”

yujin’s brows furrowed, her eyes glancing over the sentences she wrote, scanning to look for her alleged mistake. “oh, sorry.” she apologized before hitting the backspace to fix her misspelling.

to say the past hour had been awkward would be an understatement. since the final draft of the paper was due in a week, you both agreed to start on it as soon as possible since your schedules may clash. 

little did yujin know that your schedule was entirely empty, and only consisted of studying and watching the newest netflix series available. you would never tell her that, though. 

your fingers twitched as you stared at the screen in front of you. the two of you had divided the work up by sections, you each taking a pretty even split. you were a good writer, and you knew that, but with the prettiest girl in the school sitting in front of you, it truly was difficult to focus.

ahn yujin was gorgeous, but seeing her this close only made you realize that there was not a word in the history of languages that could describe her. she was beautiful, and you had to keep sneaking small glances at her in case you stared for too long and she would notice. it was going to be very hard to finish this paper, especially when she just looked so cute when she was focused. 

her eyebrows twitched every few beats, and her lower lip was tucked in between her teeth out of nervous habit. sometimes she would even mumble to herself, and it took everything in you to not blush at the sight.

truth be told, you had known yujin since elementary school. you two were not friends or even close to it, but you saw her on the playground with her friends all the time. in all honesty, you could probably count on one hand how many times you two had ever even spoken to each other directly. you were always there, just in the shadows observing the girl you had had a crush on since the 2nd grade.

“hi.” 

you looked down from the swing to see yujin standing to the side of the swingset. “hi yujin.”

the girl in the ponytail pointed at the jacket that was tied to the other leg of the swing. “i need that,” she said as she shifted her weight in the grass. “but you’re swinging, and i don’t want to get hit by you.”

“oh,” your attention was drawn to the object of inquiry as you tried to slow down your swinging to hopefully hop off and grab it for her. except before your feet could hit the ground, yujin s voice stopped you.

“no, keep swinging. Its okay.”

your head tilted to the side as you looked at her, still swaying forwards and backwards. you were confused. she wanted her jacket back, so you should stop and get it like she wanted. why would she ask you to stop?

“but what about your jacket?” you asked sincerely, trying your best to not stop swinging like she asked. the other girl smiled brightly at you, not breaking eye contact as you swung back and forth in front of her. 

“it’s okay, i can wait for you.”

you were brought out of your thoughts as yujin shut her laptop and began packing her things. “thank you for your help today.” she said with a small smile, slipping her laptop into her backpack before swinging it over her shoulder. you sent a nod in her direction, mirroring a small smile in return. 

“no problem.” 

“i’ll call you friday, okay?” the brunette pushed her chair in as she stood, waving a goodbye as she walked out of the library. you rubbed your temples and laid your head on the table, doing your best to not shout in frustration.

the paper was already stressful, but you seemed to underestimate the impact of your crush on the girl who was out of your league. 

a few days passed, each consisting of the same school day routine that included your wandering gazes to the girl who sat in the front of the classroom in every subject you two shared. 

you were usually good at focusing, but ever since you two got paired together for your project, it ended up putting yujin in the forefront of your mind far more often than you were used to. you weren’t complaining, of course. 

yujin was pretty to look at, but she danced in your mind for hours on end. the mental picture was almost as good as the reality. it was just a happy crush, truthfully. the two of you never even had a conversation more than 2 minutes long before now. you didn’t understand why you still liked her.

especially since she was definitely out of your league, and there was no way she even knew more than your name. did she even know your full name? she should, considering how long you were in classes together for, but did she care to remember such a minute detail? 

you made your way through the hallway, following the familiar path to your locker. once you turned the corner, you saw your crush standing in front of your locker. confusion laced your features as you slowly approached her.

“yujin? what are you doing in front of my locker?”

the taller girl turned around at the sound of her name, her entire face lighting up at the sight of you. “hi y/n, i brought you cookies. consider it a ‘thank you’ for being the best partner.” she shoved a box of homemade cookies into your hands, the soft smile never leaving her face as she stood before you.

you looked between the cookies and then her a few times, mentally processing what was happening. “oh, you didn’t have to, really. thank you, though.” you mustered up a small half smile.

as you turned to open your locker, you noticed that yujin wasn’t turning to leave. you grabbed the binder you needed before turning your attention to the taller girl once more. “did you need something else?” you asked gently, not really knowing what to say.

yujin’s smile faltered a little, her gaze looking from you to your locker until finally landing back on you. “are you free tonight?” she asked.

you shook your head a little too fast, feeling slightly embarrassed of yourself. “i can’t work on the paper tonight, i need to study for the biology exam. sorry yujin.” you smiled softly. 

yujin’s shoulders sagged a little, but she quickly straightened her posture. “no worries. i’ll just see what i can do on my own then.” she shot you one last smile before she turned to leave. 

you shut your locker before shouting back one last comment at her. “don’t forget to spell shakespeare correctly.”

the taller girl turned around at the sound of your voice, a genuine smile gracing her features as she heard your comment. 

“it would be easier if you were there to remind me.”

as she disappeared into the sea of people, you couldn't help but shake your head at your heart racing in your chest. “she’s just being nice,” you muttered to yourself before turning on your heel and walking the opposite direction to your class.

the next day arrived, thursday, and you couldn’t help but feel as if someone’s eyes were on you the whole morning. you shifted in your seat, trying to focus on your notes and the teacher writing on the board. however, once you turned to glance at the glock, your eyes met yujin’s. 

wait, yujin? your brows furrowed automatically, earning a timid smile from the brunette across the room as she practically shrunk in her seat. she gave you a small wave before turning and facing the front of the room.

your heart fluttered in your chest for a moment, but it was short lived as you cursed yourself mentally. yujin was your project partner, nothing more. you two hadn’t even scratched the surface of “friends” in your book yet. 

shortly after, the bell rang, signifying the end of the class period. you got up to collect your things, but the moment you did, you saw yujin moving towards your desk from the corner of your eye. except, when she was a row of desks away from you, you saw her stop in front of the desk of someone else.

your eyes glanced over to the direction of the girl, trying your best to not feel your heart squeezing in your chest. 

yujin was talking to someone else, one of the other popular girls in her clique. you reprimanded yourself for even thinking she would possibly talk to you outside of your assignment. 

you spent the rest of the day avoiding her, but you could only do so much since tomorrow you two were supposed to facetime and finish another part of the paper. if only you could have been more talkative in elementary school and could have made more of an effort to be social. maybe you and yujin would be more than just english partners. 

it was all just wishful thinking, but even so, it was hard to not blame yourself for not making more of an effort to be more social.

once you got home, you spent the rest of the evening writing more of the paper. you knew you didn’t need to since yujin was doing her best to pull her load, but you still felt the need to do more just in case she wasn’t able to finish anything last minute.

your head hurt from staring at the screen for so long, but eventually you managed to finish another three paragraphs to the body of the paper. it was due tomorrow, after all. a hand ran through your hair before you checked your phone.

right as you were about to turn your attention back to the daunting assignment in front of you, a notification popped up at the top of your screen.

from: yujin :3

hey r u up??

sent: 11:01 pm

confused as to why yujin was even awake at this hour if she wasn’t working on the assignment, you shot a response back.

to: yujin :3

yeah?

sent: 11:01 pm

from: yujin :3

so about tomorrow

sent: 11:02 pm

you watched the small dots dance as she typed as a twinge of anxiety rose in you. she was going to cancel your last work session together since the assignment would be over tomorrow evening, wasn’t she?

deciding you didn’t want to make her feel bad about ditching, you hurriedly typed a reply before she could finish writing out hers.

to: yujin :3

hey dont even worry about it. i can cover what u don’t finish tonight or tomorrow afternoon. u don’t have to worry abt showing up tmr, its all good

sent: 11:02 pm

the tiny three dots disappeared after your message had been sent, and you breathed out a sigh of relief knowing that you had successfully lightened the load on the girl. taking yujin’s lack of a response as a good sign, you decided to work on the paper for another 30 minutes before calling it a night.

once your head hit the pillow eventually, you were able to rest well knowing that ahn yujin didn’t have to worry about misspelling “shakespeare” after tomorrow. 

since school got out early on friday, you were looking forward to being able to spend the rest of your afternoon alone at the library in peace and quiet. it meant you could easily finish the paper before sunset. except, once you turned the corner around one of the shelves, you did a double take.

yujin was sitting at your usual spot, a fresh bouquet of flowers sitting atop the table on her side. you assumed easily it was given to her by one of her many not so secret admirers. slowly, you made your way to the desk table and put your belongings down.

the taller girl immediately straightened up and smiled at your arrival, but her gaze faltered a bit once yours was one of just genuine confusion. “what are you doing here??” you asked genuinely as you took your seat across from her.

you didn’t see the expression on her face since you turned to pull your laptop out from your bag. however, the look on her face consisted of furrowed brows and a pout on her lips. it was quickly wiped off once you turned to face her fully.

“well, i came here to see you.”

your hands didn’t falter in your movements as you began typing away once again, “but i told you it was okay. i’m almost done with it anyway, you didn’t need to.”

yujin’s hands suddenly reached across the table and pushed the screen of your laptop forward gently, not shutting it completely on your hands. “i came here to see you, y/n.”

you tilted your head to the side, still not fully processing what was going on here. yujin came here to see you? for what?

“for what?” she mimicked, and it was only then that you realized you must have accidentally said the last part out loud. she only shook her head and grabbed the flowers next to her before extending them to you. 

“they’re pretty right? do you like them?” she asked. you only nodded and admired the bouquet of tiny daises and a few sunflowers. “i think they’re pretty, yes. whoever got you them has very good taste.”

yujin let out a chuckle before sending a witty reply. “i know, i bought them.”

“oh,” your heart squeezed in your chest. she bought flowers for someone? the brunette across the table took note of your visible confusion before finally doing something about it.

“i got the flowers for you, y/n.”

she placed them in your hands for you to take, a proud smile beaming on her face as she did so. “oh, you didn’t have to get me anything yujin. it was just a paper, really.”

the school’s most popular student cursed slightly under her breath before she stood up and leaned over you. even with you sitting, her height managed to make you tower slightly over you. 

“consider them an invitation, then.” she whispered, making intense eye contact with you. “go out on a date with me, y/n.” 

your jaw dropped instantly, and you almost looked around the library quickly to see if there were any hidden cameras or people recording secretly. was this some kind of joke?

“a joke?” yujin did her best to not look hurt, so she laughed it off. “why would you think this is a joke?”

you realized you accidentally thought out loud for the second time, mentally cursing yourself a thousand times as yujin’s head tilted to the side while she waited for your response. 

“you’re really asking me that?” you asked as she nodded in response. you sighed and broke your gaze away to stare at a particularly interesting spot on the wooden table.

“honestly, i have had a crush on you for a while, but you’re just,” you bit your lip trying to gather your thoughts. “as cheesy as it sounds, you’re just out of my league, yujin.” 

yujin’s jaw dropped this time, staring at you in disbelief even though you couldn’t see her face. “y/n,” she snickered as she used her hand to gently move your chin up to face her. “i felt the same way about you.”

“me?” you gawked at her in disbelief, truly not believing the words coming out of the other girl’s mouth. “yujin, you’re literally everyone’s dream girl. anyone would be lucky to even have a chance with you. ” 

yujin rolled her eyes playfully, “then i guess you will be the luckiest girl in the world, huh?” she smiled softly. “i’ve had a crush on you since i frist met you on the swingset in second grade. i still liked you during your middle school pokemon phase, and i still liked you when you became the smartest person in our grade.”

she grabbed your shoulders and shook you gently. “i’ve never accepted anyone else’s date invitations or dance invitations because i was waiting for you to make a move. but i knew you would never notice me, especially since we didn’t talk much.”

she continued speaking as she sat on the edge of the table behind her. “it was me who actually asked to get teamed up with you. once we got paired up, i knew i had to take a chance, but you just kept dodging me every time i tried to make a move. i brought you cookies, i tried to ask you out twice, including yesterday night, but you just didn’t seem interested.”

yujin paused before she cupped your face and committed your features to her own memory, burning into her mind every detail there was. you were too lost in your own thoughts, realizing that the girl who was out of your league for years was finally confessing to you. it didn’t feel real, and if anything you were waiting to pinch yourself to see if you were dreaming. maybe she wasn’t so out of your league after all?

finally, you responded to her confessions. “i feet the same way about you, yujin.”

she couldn’t fight the grin that formed on her lips, and the sight of her smile this close made your face heat up slightly. she took notice and placed a small kiss on your forehead. once she pulled away, the two of you stayed like that for a little while. just leaning into each other’s touches and admiring each other’s features.

“yujin,” you moved her slightly to re-open the google doc with the english paper in it. “we have to finish this.” the brunette rolled her eyes and shut your laptop. you shot her a knowing look, “i promise we can go out and do whatever you want after we turn this in.”

she reluctantly agreed, opting to pull out her own laptop to help finish things up as well. “if we both work on it, we can finish faster.” she reasoned with a smile. you couldn’t help but laugh at the other girl, and shook your head lightly.

“only if you spell shakespeare correctly.”  

“don’t make me leave you alone in this library.”

a/n: i wrote this for silan and kept it hostage from her so MWAH

[tequiilasunriise]

The thing that really kills me about that fight against the walkers is the Bees get this incredible fight sequence of being perfectly in sync partners and easily covering each other’s bases but then it suddenly cuts to Weiss stumbling during her fight because Ruby, her partner, isn’t there. Jaune was good at helping her recover, sure, but nevertheless the parallels between functional partners and partners that are split apart were very, very prevalent.

During the Ace Ops fight Weiss was holding her own well against Marrow, yet Ruby still rushed to deflect his weapon when it was coming towards Weiss. Harriet had thrown her into the room, Ruby- still dazed on the floor- looked up, saw a weapon coming towards Weiss (who was poised with her rapier ready, mind you), and didn’t hesitate to come in and smack it back with Crescent Rose. The parallels between Marrow and Harriet arguing vs Whiterose silently nodding at each other making sure the other was alright, like! Ruby didn’t have to check up on Weiss but she did so anyways because they’re partners, because they’re there fer each other rather than individual units strung together on the same team.

After making sure Weiss was alright, Ruby continues to draw Harriet away from the rest of the fray. Then when Ruby is fighting Harriet, Weiss comes back to check up on her and summon an ice wall to defend her partner from Harriet charging at her. There’s something to be said about how Marrow and Harriet were so disjointed in comparison to Whiterose being there fer each other. Love versus a lack thereof, so to speak (and yes, I may be a Whiterose shipper, but this love I’m referring to is that deeper special platonic bond between people who fight fer their lives and trust and care fer each other wholeheartedly).

So now parallel that fight with the one against the walkers, where Weiss is stumbling in a 1v1 and Ruby gets overpowered by a walker because she’s having an extremely justified panic attack. They’re apart, and now both are struggling because neither has their partner there to support em. The Bees are doing all of these sickass combo moves and combining their different fighting styles perfectly while Whiterose is just having a plain ol Bad Time™️ right now. Love versus a lack thereof, so speak. That being said I do wanna point out that when Ruby was down on the ground, it was Weiss who called out to her and made the first blow against the walker who had her pinned. Shit man even when they’re falling apart Weiss is still the first one to reach fer her partner. The love isn’t fully gone, it’s hurting yes, but o h how the love is still there through it all. There is something to be said on love and the lack thereof and love that’s struggling to breathe but still persists.

What I’m saying is, there’s shit to be said about partners, about people tied together in trust and loyalty, about people who know the other so well they can almost effortlessly cover each other bases. There’s shit to be said about found family, about choosing people, about doing the very brave thing that is loving them. In V8, Yang talked to Ruby about risks and sacrifices and heroes. Later on, Blake had her gentle heart to heart about admiring Ruby as a leader, but what Ruby really needs right now? She doesn’t need a pep talk revolving around duties and respect, what she needs right now is someone to speak to her as an equal. As a best friend. As a partner.

Weiss, please fer the love of god, talk to your partner. She needs someone to lean on right now, and my clown makeup fer Bees Kiss is OFF but goddamnit am I polishing my shoes as I hope fer a Weiss and Ruby heart to heart.

[depravitycentral]

Hii I think I've read all your hxh stuff but the Tumblr blog search is kinda scuffed so if you've already answered something like this just ignore me

Anyway I was curious to know how/if you think the phantom troupe members would share a partner. Like maybe not all of them sharing one partner (that's the dream fr tho lol) but maybe 2 or 3 members sharing one if any of them are into that

Then that leads me to my next two questions, Kurapika and Leorio, would they share a partner or are they just not into that

Then lastly (and if you don't write for them or have any ideas that's fine ignore this) do you think Silva and Kikyo would keep a little "pet" around?

Anyway sorry for the long ask, I guess I could have split this up but I didn't want to spam your box 😅 have a lovely day! ❤️

Please ignore how late this answer is... Also the answer to the Silva/Kikyo question will be posted separately!

Tw: kidnapping, mentions of physical violence, manipulation, mentioned non-con

I was wondering how long it would take before poly yanderes would be discussed on this blog!!

My personal philosophy on poly yandere relationships is that they only work in very, very specific circumstances. The whole concept of a yandere is someone who feels such blinding and overwhelming love and desire for another person that they literally throw their morals out the window just for the chance to bask in a bit of affection or love from their special someone, and adding another person into the equation doesn't exactly fit this vision.

Most yanderes don't want to share you - you're theirs, simple and plain, and often only a very specific person could be the one exception to this rule. Even then, the relationship is often still strained, because unless feelings develop between the two yanderes themselves, jealousy will always be an issue and you as the darling will have to be very careful about making sure you give equal amounts of love and time to each yandere.

But instead of focusing on the logistics of it, let's discuss the actual pairs/their dynamics!!

Machi and Pakunoda are the least resistant to sharing. They respect each other, and while it may be a stretch to call them friends, this respect and trust has led to a solid foundation for them to build off of. Neither are especially forceful with their darlings, instead preferring to hover and take care of them with minimal physical force, and this helps keep both of them placated. Machi is sort of the bad cop while Pakunoda is the good cop, but the reason this pairing works so well is that they help bring out qualities in each other that would normally be their weak points. Pakunoda helps Machi relax and warm up to physical affection with her, because her own natural touchiness is easier to convince Machi that touching you won't be the disaster she's so sure of. And Machi helps Pakunoda attend to every facet of your wellbeing - Machi properly feeds you, tends to any wounds of yours, makes sure that you're getting enough sunlight, that you're still moving and not becoming lethargic, all things that Pakunoda knows she should do but sometimes skips in favor of kissing you or spoiling you. These two are definitely the best pair to get stuck with - still overbearing about your safety and hard to handle always watching you, but certainly better than others.

Shalnark and Chrollo are, admittedly, not equal players in this partnership. Most likely, Shalnark initially became interested in you, and upon Chrollo's eventually learning of your existance, he found himself charmed as well. Shalnark wasn't the happiest at the notion of sharing, but he sees the partnership as an opportunity to help keep you in line and make himself look good. He and Chrollo are both very, very talented manipulators, and by playing off of each other, they're able to present themselves as simply loving partners, managing to gaslight you into thinking that you're overreacting about them being 'horrible' and 'evil' for kidnapping you and forcing you to be their partner. And frankly, it works - they're convincing, and because you get no reprieve or time away from them both at once, eventually you will begin seeing things their way. This isn't a particularly desirable relationship, if only because while you'll eventually be happy (your mind too mixed up to even realize you're unhappy, that is), you'll lose a piece of yourself in a way that you wouldn't with other pairings. You'll be somewhat of a shell of your former self - still you, but with the parts that they like emphasized, and the more problematic parts of your personality (like your desire to leave them) being repressed.

Uvogin and Nobunaga is possible, but it's unlikely that things would last long. This is because Nobunaga is particularly delusional, and Uvogin is particularly lucid. And this combo - Nobuanga's infantilization of you and Uvogin's leniency in your independence - spells out disaster. Things would be tense; arguments would sprout often, with you left to awkwardly stand in the middle, desperately hoping that Uvogin will win the argument. (You don't like him either, but at least his ideas are less dehumanizing than Nobunaga's.) I think it could work, if they worked hard enough to establish how to treat you, but you'd be constantly walking on eggshells around them. (Plus, if you think your poor pussy is getting a little too much action with just one of them as your yandere, then get ready - they fuck you every night, nearly, one taking your cunt while the other shoves himself down your throat. Occasionally they'll even try for your ass, though Uvogin has the sense to force Nobunaga to get you properly prepped before he fucks what he thinks is 'her best hole - it's so tight'. They're just gross, and you'll very obviously favor Uvogin - which once again sparks problems of jealousy. So it's possible, but unlikely to work out.

Phinks and Feitan is another unlikely combo - their types are very different, firstly, but if they did manage to develop feelings for you, things will become very violent very fast. Neither wants to hurt you (at least, not deep down), but they don't exactly agree on how to punish you or respond to your misbehaviors. Feitan is more strict, deciding that you must be punished when you act out because it's the only way to get you to behave how they want. Phinks doesn't share this mindset - he's more of a sucker than Feitan, more inclined to just make you promise not to do it again and then naively believe that you meant it. And this leads to problems - their treatment of you is so radically different, both in the way that they speak to you and how they touch you, that they'll be fighting over nearly everything. And while you won't ever be physically harmed, you'll be subject to watch them physically fight when they're arguing, swinging fists and lightning fast moves making you curl up into a ball because god, they're monsters. Again, it's possible if they can figure out a system that's a compromise for both of them, but it's unlikely.

This probably isn't the answer you're looking for, but it's my opinion! There are probably some more pairings that could potentially work, but these are the ones I see being most likely.

Unrelated to the Phantom Troupe, some other pairs I could see being potentially successful are: Leorio and Kurapika (they're into that!! more protection, as far as Kurapika is concerned, and Leorio is more clingy than possessive, so he wouldn't mind sharing with his best friend whom he is already displaying borderline homoerotic tendencies towards), Knuckle and Morel, Misturi and Obanai, Uzui + wives, Douma and Akaza though it would be very, very rocky and is significantly more unstable than these other matchups, Aizawa and Hizashi, Overhaul and Chrono, Tendou and Ushijima, Bokuto and Akaashi, Hinata and Kenma, don't ask me why but Goshiki and Kindaichi, Kita and Aran, Suna and Osamu

[southangel]

Hi! How's it going?

Can I get some headcanons about the main four with a twin sibling!reader? How would the dynamic between them and people around them look.

You can choose if they're identical or fraternal twins. 

Main 4 Being their Twin Sibling

Warnings: none

Notes: Platonic, gender-neutral as well! Will be fraternal twins, since identical twins are typically the same gender. A little rushed, wrote most of this late at night.

Stan Marsh

Being Stan’s twin would be fun, I think.

You’ll obviously look similar, but not so similar to the point where people bombard you guys with questions.

You would be the older one, by about a minute, and you would definitely tell all his friends about it.

He hates you for it.

Since you’re related to Stan, you’re also related to Shelley, meaning you both get attacked by her.

Luckily she’s a bit nicer on you, only because you’re friends aren’t as annoying as Stan’s.

You don’t really hangout with Stan and his friends unless they need you as a backround character for a game, otherwise you would be with your own friend group.

Your personalities are very similar, people could probably tell that you’re related by just that.

I feel like Stan would be the type to scam you out of favors, but quickly feel bad then do something in return for you.

You used to both walk into school together, but after moving onto the farm and having to wear those Hemp shirts, it was embarrassing.

You both agreed that two people with Hemp shirts walking together was more embarrassing than one, so you split up.

You would be friends with Wendy, since gossiping about Stan is so fun for you both.

Imagine you and Stan both doing homework together, staring at the worksheet before eventually giving up.

You guys played Terrance and Philip on the TV afterwards, so it was okay.

“Tell me if Wendy says anything bad about me, please?”

Kyle Broflovski

Being Kyle’s twin sibling would be interesting.

Kyle would be the older one by about 3 minutes, but he isn’t obnoxious about it and doesn’t care.

Kyle tends to be the smarter one, so he wouldn’t mind tutoring or explaining every bit of work to you, you steal his answers when he isn’t looking.

You used to hang out with Kyle and his friends, then Cartman started going after you as well even though he hasn’t before.

If you ever get a partner with a stable relationship, Kyle would be happy for you, but I feel like he would be a little jealous since his romantic luck is absolute shit.

You guys are the types of twins where everyone can tell that you’re siblings, and it’s super annoying getting asked the same questions everyday.

Sheila would probably make you guys share a room, and you both hate it.

I know she would be the type of mom to dress you guys up in matching outfits when you guys were younger as well.

You and Kyle would be the type of twins that talk at the same time, doesn’t matter if you say the same things or not.

It’s so bad that some people swear you can mind communicate, you wish.

The only bad apart about being Kyle’s twin is that you’re practically engaged in everything he does, which is really annoying.

“Mom, do we really have to be matching?”

Kenny Mccormick

I think having Kenny as your twin sibling would be really nice.

Although your household and environment at home really isn’t great, you both still make the most of it.

You guys might share clothes, not often though.

Kenny is older than you by 5 minutes, bigger gap than the rest, but he genuinely doesn’t care.

You guys don’t really look alike that much, so it’s only when they realize the last names are the same that they notice you guys are siblings.

It’s a good thing nobody notices though, or else the questions would be a hassle.

You and Kenny would definitely each take turns taking care of Karen, hanging out with her or getting her small things from time to time.

I feel like Kenny sees you as the other half of him in some way, not because you’re his twin, it’s because you’re his twin.

He would take you down to work at City Wok, so that you guys could make some extra money.

You and Kenny both payed half and half for that Sony PSP, using your saved money from City Wok.

You guys fight over the PSP daily, not bothering to make some actual working time distribution on the device.

You would definitely find Kenny cheesing all the time, in the act.

All you do is walk away because you don’t really care, you just hope he doesn’t get into too much trouble.

“Do you like it, Karen? Me and Y/N saved up for it.”

Eric Cartman

Cartman definitely hates you, partially.

You’re his twin, and he sees that as a terrible thing because of how he exaggerates having to be stuck to you all the time.

You DEFINITELY don’t look like Cartman, at all.

Maybe there’s only some similar features, but you should be glad to not look the slightest similar to him:

Cartman would make fun of you for being to nice, than start screaming at you once you become annoying like him.

He can’t make up his mind over anything, and it only makes him angrier when he thinks about how you’re older, only by a minute.

You’re embarrassed about being related to him, but at least you kind of secret information to blackmail him with if he ever gets too annoying.

Liane let’s you guys do whatever you want, as long as you and Cartman are together most of the time.

You guys are forced to become partners all the time in projects and school assignments, and you almost always are the loudest ones in the room because of your arguments.

You genuinely feel that living with Cartman is like hell on earth, and you can only assume he feels the same but with amplified hatred.

Sometimes it seems like he likes you though, it’s weird.

One time you were coming back from a sleepover and he came to hug you, talking about how he missed you sooo much, he made you do his homework in return for being affectionate.

If you ever get a love interest or partner, Cartman is already on his way to asking everything about them.

It’s not like he cares, he does, he just wants to know who you’re really talking with.

He’ll probably be really weird about it for the first week, then get over it and start being annoying once more.

“You took a really long time at that sleepover, now go do my homework.”

[thepenultimateword]

Hi I don’t really see this trope often, so could u do prompts for reformed villain x hero? But it’s totally fine if not

Oooo yes!

1. A reformed villain is partnered with the agency’s golden hero, making them feel terribly inadequate. What they don’t know is that Hero was also once a villain years ago.

2. Hero does not trust this supposed ex-villain. You can’t just wake up and decide you’re not bad anymore and act like nothing ever happened. But the villain’s surrender is very good for the agency so they are putting a lot of pressure on Hero to show ex-villain the ropes and make it work.

3. After Villain reforms and joins the Hero’s team they are constantly bombarded by the press. And not all of it is nice. Hero notices the way Villain panics at the pressing crowds, cameras, and microphones, so they set out to protect them from the attention.

4. Villain did something horrible to Hero when they were nemeses, but now that the criminal has reformed and joined their team. Villain, wanting to be on good terms with his new teammates, makes several attempts at getting close to Hero but finds Hero constantly pushing them away. Villain wonders how they can show Hero they’ve really changed.

5. Villain is riddled with nightmares from their criminal years. Since the hero team shares a dorm apartment, Hero overhears them crying out in the night and feels compelled to comfort them.

6. Villain and Hero dated briefly when they were nemeses, but ultimately split because their beliefs were too different. Now Villain, newly reformed, is on Hero’s team and neither can keep back the bitter jabs. Worse, they realize still have feelings for each other, though neither is willing to admit it to the other. It’s probably much too late anyway.

7. Hero helps Villain reform and thus feels responsible for them. None of the other heroes trust Villain, but Hero volunteers to mentor them through their first year until they get the hang of things. They also always makes sure to include them in get-togethers and parties with the others. It’s nice, but Villain can’t help but start feeling like a project.

8. Villain reforms right as Hero defects to villainy; now that their roles have flipped they begin to see new sides to each other and their dynamic, and it’s all very weird.

9. Villain may be reformed but they’re still going to do good their way. This is very aggravating for the straight laced hero they’re partnered with.

10. Leader was dating Villain in secret before they reformed. Now that Villain is on the team, they’re excited to finally be able to date publicly. However, Leader keeps rebuffing their affections and acting like there’s nothing between them. It turns out Leader is still afraid of what the team will think if they find out, especially when they’re supposed to be an example.

11. An absolutely feral villain is “adopted” (into the agency) by a sunshiny hero.

12. Hero has never been good at making friends and they’ve always been apart from the other heroes. But when a new hero, a reformed villain, joins the team, they finally start to make a friend.

[aspd-culture]

dunno if this is allowed, u dont have to answer if you don't want to but as someone with bpd I'm curious, how do people with aspd often see them?

So I can only offer my anecdotal answer to this, but I've had very polarized responses to people with BPD. Anything I say about how my ASPD affects the person with BPD I'm speaking of has been directly told to me by that person, so I am not just assuming.

On the one hand, my partner has BPD and it makes our relationship much more functional on my end than it would with me being with someone without it. That's because my *very* limited empathy that comes with him being an Exception pairs very well with the more intense emotions a pwBPD feels. Since my empathy is limited, I am not overwhelmed by the intensity of his emotions the way his exes often were. And, since his emotions are so intense, I can actually pick up on many of those emotions even with the blunted empathy. They're quiet pings on my radar, but they're there.

Further, my desire to only be around an extremely limited number of people saves him a lot of grief because his favorite person is *very* rarely interested in talking to anyone but him and a couple other close friends. The more limited the pool of people I have deep and meaningful relationships with, the less threatened he feels with me being his favorite person. Whilst he couldn't and wouldn't push someone to barely talk to anyone but him as that would be extremely abusive, me wanting to limit my interactions with people helps ease that anxiety a lot. It very much limits how much he worries that I will abandon him for someone else.

Meanwhile, the intensity of his attachment to me, while annoying during a flare, is actually something I enjoy. It's good for the ASPD unstable self-worth to know he values me that highly, and being his FP helps my brain accept that he genuinely does value me and is not using me, because I know the "hidden motivation" for him wanting me around that my ASPD convinces me everyone has. It's also one of the most stable attachments to me that anyone has had, mainly because I have very little time to detach since we do spend so much time together. Besides with my alters, it's the closest to normal love I've ever felt.

However, for non-Exceptions, I can get *very* annoyed by the emotional reactions of pwBPD if they affect me. I already am exhausted by the emotional labor of dealing with prosocials, what with their emotions overtaking their logic, but that is even more exacerbated by pwBPD. It's not their fault, and I know that, but I do have trouble being around pwBPD who are not an Exception because of this without setting firm boundaries on what I can and can't help them with. If they need me to just listen to their upset without trying to help them solve the problem, I cannot help with that. However, if they are too overwhelmed by their reaction to find solutions and want me to insert a logical and entirely non-emotional perspective, I am great at that and it makes me feel useful for something that mostly makes people call me shallow and cold.

Even for my Exceptions though, there are definitely issues between a pwBPD and a pwASPD. BPD splits can *really* flare my symptoms - both the "positive" and "negative" splits. When it's the type of split where he gets hyper-attached and needs a lot of attention out of nowhere, I can get tired easily with this, especially because just saying (and meaning) that I'm not going to leave is not good enough. It makes me want to interact less when he is obsessively trying to interact more. The types of splits where a pwBPD pushes someone away to avoid being left can be especially problematic for both people involved, as very often the pwASPD will essentially go "okay, bye then" and detach. That can be a lot for pwBPD to deal with, even though we're sometimes willing to go back on that. I have to stop myself when my partner gets in that kind of split to keep from "calling his bluff" so to speak, because that will worsen things for him.

In both romantic and platonic relationships, pwBPD and pwASPD can end up very toxic for each other, as some pwBPD will follow pwASPD into destructive situations and with our issues with regard for others' wellbeing, we may not always stop you. In fact, sometimes it's proof to us that you actually DO care about us, which, of course, is messed up for everyone involved.

That said, the more destructive behaviors pwBPD sometimes struggle with are VERY unlikely to surprise or scare a pwASPD. "Oh, you got freaked out and threw something, but you didn't throw it at me or break anything of mine? Ok, cool. What a mood. No, why tf would I leave you over that? I did that like 2 days ago. You're chill now right? Ok let's go get Taco Bell." From what my partner has told me, this can (and has) stop an episode in it's tracks because when the destructive behavior that is meant to push me away doesn't even make me blink twice and I'm still entirely cool with him, it sometimes completely reassures him that I'm not going anywhere and we can move on.

It can go either or both ways, depending on the day, on how a pwASPD and a pwBPD in close relationships of any type will interact, but generally I prefer pwBPD over other prosocials because most of what pwBPD do and say makes sense to me - even the irrational things are done out of a fear of or response to being abandoned, and handling that poorly is something I entirely understand and relate to. Anecdotally, my current partner and my most recent ex (both of whom have BPD) also said that they far, far preferred pwASPD to prosocials because of how we sometimes stablize their fear of being abandoned. I was one of the only people they ever believed when they asked if they were leaving and I said "why and where tf would I go anyway".

Again, this is VERY personal and anecdotal, but I've seen asks in the askbox before that said some similar stuff, so I'm sure I'm not the only one who relates to at least some of this.

Plain text below the cut:

So I can only offer my anecdotal answer to this, but I've had very polarized responses to people with BPD. Anything I say about how my ASPD affects the person with BPD I'm speaking of has been directly told to me by that person, so I am not just assuming.

On the one hand, my partner has BPD and it makes our relationship much more functional on my end than it would with me being with someone without it. That's because my *very* limited empathy that comes with him being an Exception pairs very well with the more intense emotions a pwBPD feels. Since my empathy is limited, I am not overwhelmed by the intensity of his emotions the way his exes often were. And, since his emotions are so intense, I can actually pick up on many of those emotions even with the blunted empathy. They're quiet pings on my radar, but they're there.

Further, my desire to only be around an extremely limited number of people saves him a lot of grief because his favorite person is *very* rarely interested in talking to anyone but him and a couple other close friends. The more limited the pool of people I have deep and meaningful relationships with, the less threatened he feels with me being his favorite person. Whilst he couldn't and wouldn't push someone to barely talk to anyone but him as that would be extremely abusive, me wanting to limit my interactions with people helps ease that anxiety a lot. It very much limits how much he worries that I will abandon him for someone else.

Meanwhile, the intensity of his attachment to me, while annoying during a flare, is actually something I enjoy. It's good for the ASPD unstable self-worth to know he values me that highly, and being his FP helps my brain accept that he genuinely does value me and is not using me, because I know the "hidden motivation" for him wanting me around that my ASPD convinces me everyone has. It's also one of the most stable attachments to me that anyone has had, mainly because I have very little time to detach since we do spend so much time together. Besides with my alters, it's the closest to normal love I've ever felt.

Meanwhile, the intensity of his attachment to me, while annoying during a flare, is actually something I enjoy. It's good for the ASPD unstable self-worth to know he values me that highly, and being his FP helps my brain accept that he genuinely does value me and is not using me, because I know the "hidden motivation" for him wanting me around that my ASPD convinces me everyone has. It's also one of the most stable attachments to me that anyone has had, mainly because I have very little time to detach since we do spend so much time together. Besides with my alters, it's the closest to normal love I've ever felt.

Even for my Exceptions though, there are definitely issues between a pwBPD and a pwASPD. BPD splits can *really* flare my symptoms - both the "positive" and "negative" splits. When it's the type of split where he gets hyper-attached and needs a lot of attention out of nowhere, I can get tired easily with this, especially because just saying (and meaning) that I'm not going to leave is not good enough. It makes me want to interact less when he is obsessively trying to interact more. The types of splits where a pwBPD pushes someone away to avoid being left can be especially problematic for both people involved, as very often the pwASPD will essentially go "okay, bye then" and detach. That can be a lot for pwBPD to deal with, even though we're sometimes willing to go back on that. I have to stop myself when my partner gets in that kind of split to keep from "calling his bluff" so to speak, because that will worsen things for him.

In both romantic and platonic relationships, pwBPD and pwASPD can end up very toxic for each other, as some pwBPD will follow pwASPD into destructive situations and with our issues with regard for others' wellbeing, we may not always stop you. In fact, sometimes it's proof to us that you actually DO care about us, which, of course, is messed up for everyone involved.

That said, the more destructive behaviors pwBPD sometimes struggle with are VERY unlikely to surprise or scare a pwASPD. "Oh, you got freaked out and threw something, but you didn't throw it at me or break anything of mine? Ok, cool. What a mood. No, why tf would I leave you over that? I did that like 2 days ago. You're chill now right? Ok let's go get Taco Bell." From what my partner has told me, this can (and has) stop an episode in it's tracks because when the destructive behavior that is meant to push me away doesn't even make me blink twice and I'm still entirely cool with him, it sometimes completely reassures him that I'm not going anywhere and we can move on.

It can go either or both ways, depending on the day, on how a pwASPD and a pwBPD in close relationships of any type will interact, but generally I prefer pwBPD over other prosocials because most of what pwBPD do and say makes sense to me - even the irrational things are done out of a fear of or response to being abandoned, and handling that poorly is something I entirely understand and relate to. Anecdotally, my current partner and my most recent ex (both of whom have BPD) also said that they far, far preferred pwASPD to prosocials because of how we sometimes stablize their fear of being abandoned. I was one of the only people they ever believed when they asked if they were leaving and I said "why and where tf would I go anyway".

Again, this is VERY personal and anecdotal, but I've seen asks in the askbox before that said some similar stuff, so I'm sure I'm not the only one who relates to at least some of this.

[tinydefector]

Bumblebee, Charlie and Ralph

Request and ask open, read pinned post

Bumblebee masterlist

Silly little thing that popped up in my head over Raphael from TFP and his ability to understand Bumblebee, and also Charlie from the Bumblebee movie.

It's a little headcannon over how Raph can understand Bumblebee and cybertronian so well, and reason he is so good with technology.

Bumblebee is based 1987

TFP is based 2007

20 years between.

I have a cute little headcanon that Raph is Charlie's son. I like to think after bee left she didn't make alot of good decisions and in 1995 she had Raph, but her partner at the time split with her leaving her trying to raise a baby by herself halfway across the country, and she uses her one emergency call to get in contact with Bumblebee hoping he can just drive her back to California. Bee instead makes it his so mission to look after both Charlie and baby Raph, and they end up in Jasper.

Optimus at first is not very happy about it, for one mirage refuses to leave Brooklyn due to Noah being there, and now Bumblebee shows up at base with the human Optimus made Bumblebee cut contact with. And not only that there was a human baby involved too. But eventually optimus relents, and Bumblebee set Charlie up, she had looked after him and he would do everything to look after her.

Over time Bee becomes the closest thing to a dad Ralph has, and the young Autobot scout adores him so much. And Ralph begins to understand Bumblebee's beeps and chirps outside of the stereo talk. It's a shock to all of them when toddler Ralph begins babbling in small bits of Cybertronian.

Charlie and Bee end up together not as Conjunx officially because both are two shy to ask the other into a relationship but it's very much a stablished that they are Ralph's parent's. And every Autobot on base knows that they are together.

Ralph as a baby adores Ratchet, despite the grumpy medic stating he didn't wish to squish the young boy, poor ratchet unofficially becomes his grandfather, and Ratchet adores sitting there with Raphael as the young boy watches him type away, he ever starts teaching him how to read Cybertronian at the young ages.

And as Ralph gets older, he learns very quickly 'don't talk about home life' and for a long while it's very isolating not having people he can talk to about the bots. Charlie had Noah, Kris and Elena, agent Fowler. But Ralph didn't bave friends he could talk too. That's until Arcee messes up one day and Jack comes into the picture, and Ralph takes to him and then Miko so quickly, he finally has friends who know about the bots, and he can talk to them openly about it. The next generation of humans who knew about the bots.

So, in conclusion, I have a head cannon of Ralph being Charlie and Bumblebee's kid.

@youkaiyume you might like this. (Sweats)

Enjoy my sleep deprived thoughts

[theninthdoor]

Could you do how skz members deal with jealousy, which of them are overprotective and possessive ?

Bang Chan || six of swords, seven of wands: At first he tries to be pretty logical about it and maintain a good line of communication between him and the other person, yet fails every time. This gives me the same type of feeling as of a little kid who runs away, screaming, to hide their toys as soon as they see some other child looking at them - like "it's mine! you're not touching it. don't even think about it!". The though of sharing might've crossed his mind for a split second, but it's gone just as quick.

Lee Know || the hermit, six of swords: He might be the type to distance himself, so the other person is "forced" to seek his attention once again. Once that happens, he'll speak up - yet very coldly - about his jealousy, plus set some boundaries such as, "I would prefer if you didn't hang out with that person" or "I would rather get a text message from you telling me you're going out with that group of people instead of having to find out through social media", etc.

Changbin || six of swords, queen of swords: (our 3rd 6oS?? wow) Changbin is very, very straightforward. He'll speak up, no matter where or when; if something is bothering him, he'll say it, very honestly and clearly. He doesn't even need to raise his voice or make a scene - it's all about being forthright and getting his "competition" to recognize him as the winner of that little battle. If his partner doesn't collaborate, though, then I expect him to give them the cold shoulder and distance himself, for sure.

Hyunjin || the fool, four of cups: He comes off as quite immature + turbulent when it comes to these things… Playing it cool only makes matters worse for everybody, yet he never learns his lesson and just keeps pulling that card on them over and over again. What I mean is: he's definitely one to get upset/jealous easily, specially when he feels ignored or like the other person is enjoying someone else's presence over his; once that happens, he then becomes very careless with his words by mixing jokes with his true, raw feelings. This attitude here not only leads him to become more and more frustrated, but it might also annoy the other person quite a lot, causing then a big misunderstanding between the two.

Han || judgement, three of wands: Han starts seeking the other person's attention and approval immediately! He needs to feel seen and to feel heard! Although it might take a lot to make him jealous + to get him to admit his jealousy, it does happen. I think, in his case, it's much more an issue of him feeling less interesting or important than others - that's what makes him jealous… he doesn't want to be replaced.

Felix || strength, the hierophant: Felix seems to have a good level of self-control, to be honest. I see him being the type to use physical touch as means of getting the attention back to him - like holding hands, playing with his partner's/friend's hair, hugging them, etc -, instead of words. He just needs to feel like the connection hasn't been broken or damaged, that's all.

Seungmin || the hanged man, five of wands: He can go from giving the other person the silent treatment to loudly confronting them, in a split second. You never know what you're gonna get with him… One to get jealous quite easily, I feel like.

I.N || we've gone over him here > X, X and X. Our conclusion from all of that: my dude just wants attention; don't embarass him; he's an immature little one sometimes lol.

(Disclaimer: All readings are alleged and for entertainment purposes only.)