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reputationbarbie · 11 months

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❝i got cake and i know he want a slice.❞

read the rest of the series before this chapter or you’re getting spoilers.

A/N: we're back, barbies! i successfully survived midterms so now I can breathe!! i've been working on this all week and tomorrow i promise, i'll work on my requests. a lot of y'all have been in my comments and reposts with pitchforks because joel didn't kiss ginny yet and all i have to say is, same babes. i don't make the rules (yes i do) i just enforce them. this isn't edited so ignore any mistakes. please leave feedback in the comments ★ ˙ᵕ˙ liv

Chapter Summary: the sweetest baker enlists joel to help her volunteer at ellie's school.

Chapter Warnings: language, alcohol, slight age gap (F!MC and Joel are 6 years apart), racial descriptions (tommy says black girls are his type basically), symptoms of anxiety and depression, lmk if i forgot something.

Series Tags: chef! Joel, single! father Joel, no outbreak! Joel Miller, slow burn, dual-pov, fluff, flirting, friendship, eventually established relationship, eventual smut, original character, black!fem!MC, no y/n.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ series masterlist, joel masterlist ⋆ spotify playlist ˖ ݁ 𖥔.

“Taste this,” I demand Joel, shoving the spoon of icing towards his mouth.

Joel stops stacking the plastic plates, looking down at the utensil. “What did you say?” he asks with scrunched eyebrows.

I shake the fork impatiently. “Try,” I demand. He looks at me skeptically before leaning forward and taking a bite of the warm sugary liquid.

His mouth moves slowly as tastes. “Mmmhm, that’s good,” he compliments.

I want to put my hands up to hide the blush that’s inevitably covering my face right now. But I don’t want Joel to notice my reaction. “Thank you. I tweaked the recipe last week,” I say quickly, turning around so I’m not facing him.

“That’s why I’m here,” I hear Joel say.

Shaking my head, I pour the icing over the cakes. “No, you’re here because I didn’t want to be the only one working the booth today,” I defend myself.

“You would’ve called someone else,” Joel points out.

My shoulders rise with my eyebrows. “You’re probably right,” I conceded.

I enlisted Joel to do a booth with me instead of having two separate booths. Neither of us wanted to pull staff from the floor but still wanted to participate for Ellie’s sake. The two of us could handle it, with the help of some friends.

Joel and I mirror each other's movements in the kitchen. He makes sure the COVID-safe fall fest meals are ready and me adding something sweet into the mix. The hum of Taylor Swift plays in the background and I catch Joel slightly humming to ‘Welcome to New York.’ A snicker involuntary leaves my throat and I shove it down, hoping he didn’t pick up on it.

Once my job is done, I allow the dishes to clatter in the sink. The worst part about baking is the prep and the cleaning and I don’t have the energy for that right now.

“Hello?” Madeline’s voice rings through the stairwell.

“Don’t shoot us,” Leonardo’s voice follows shortly after.

A scoff leaves my lips and I near the island to watch Joel skillfully move around the kitchen. Every move has a crafted purpose and I can practically see the blood pulsating through his veins.

My breathing hitches and I shift in hopes of gaining composure. “I don’t even have a gun,” I pipe up.

Joel walks in front of me and motions behind me. We dance around for a little before he grunts in frustration and puts his hands on my waist. My eyes go wide as Joel easily lifts me onto the cold island before reaching behind me. “I do,” he murmurs, sliding the pan of bundt cakes toward his muscled torso.

His smirk has me wanting to strip my clothes off and give it to him in the nastiest way possible. Bad, ginny. He was just sick of you being in the way. “I don’t think that applies to this scenario, Joel,” I stress.

Joel moves from in between my legs and I turn my head to watch Leo strolling into the room confidently. “Hey, Miller,” he boasts.

“Hey,” I hear Joel respond next to me.

Maddie follows shortly behind him, wearing brown leather pants and high-heeled boots. She’s overdressed for a school event, but knowing her she’s probably looking for a husband. “Hi, Joel,” she purs, flashing him a smile.

My body turns to survey Joel’s reaction, but his poker face is stone-cold. “Nice to see you, Madeline,” he tries his hardest to force out through a smile.

It’s not that Joel doesn’t like Madeline, she’s just an acquired taste. Too much time around her can drive you crazy and sometimes when Joel picks Ellie up from the bakery, Madeline is sobbing her eyes out with a glass of wine in her hand.

“Didn’t know you were working the party, man,” Leo notes once he and Madeline cross the large open floor plan into the kitchen.

“Joel’s daughter, Ellie, goes to school with Dina,” I tell Leo, motioning towards Joel.

Madeline nods, sliding into the bar stool and putting her shiny silver purse on the counter. “That makes sense. What are you making?” she leans forward and asks Joel.

Joel rolls his shoulder forward, hunching over to plate the food. “Thanksgiving meals. Each meal comes with turkey and 3 sides. My brother Tommy’s bringing the rest,” he informs her.

Maddie's eyes light up and a smirk creeps onto her face. “I didn’t know you had a brother. Is he a chef, too?” she asks, voice laced with mischief.

Joel shrugs, not bothering to make eye contact with her. “Mostly just a pain in my ass but, yeah. He helps out at the Austin from time to time,” he grumbles.

“That's awesome! Is he cute?” Maddie asks excitedly.

“Maddie!” I hiss towards the blonde.

Joel’s phone buzzes on the counter next to us and he picks it up, turning the screen towards the group. “That would be him,” he says, shaking the device lightly.

Once Joel exits the room, I hit Maddie on the arm with the back of my palm. “What?! Not everyone has a Michelin-star chef whipping meals in their kitchen trying to get in your pants,” she frowns.

My eyes widen and I feel the sudden urge to yank my hair out. Now I know why Joel tugs on his roots. “Joel’s not– he’s not,” I stammer, pausing to collect my breath. “Joel’s not trying to get in my pants,” I sigh.

Maddie raises a brow, looking me up and down. “I beg to differ,” she counters.

Jumping down from the counter, I start to pick up where Joel left off with the meals. “He doesn’t have time to– Leo, don’t eat that,” I swat Leo’s hand, stopping him from picking up a bundt cake prematurely.

Leo winces, putting his hands up in defense before sliding into the bar stool. “So, how’s things been between you two?” he questions.

My brows furrow and I feel confusion wash over me. “What do you mean?” I ask.

“I mean, you’ve been seeing each other for what, a month. Right?” he asks.

Maddie snickers next to me and I shake my head, resuming my careful placing of the assorted dessert flavors. “No, Leo. We literally haven’t even been on a date,” I point out.

Leo twists back and forth in the spinning chairs like a child who’s bored out of his mind. “That means nothing,” he scoffs.

My head tilts and I point the spatula at Leo. “To you, you whore. To me it means something. We’re just friends,” I inform him.

Leo purses his lips and his brows furrow. “Oh, fuck off,” he nips at me.

“What?” I ask him.

Leo rolls his eyes and I want to lean forward to snatch them out of his socket. “I still don’t know how you’re blind to him flirting,” he complains.

Maybe I am reading things wrong. Maybe Joel is interested. “If he flirts with me so much, why hasn’t he asked me out on a date or kissed me?” I ask the pair confused.

My head darts back and forth between my friends. “Maybe he just wants to take things slow,” Maddie tries to explain.

Leo clears his throat and my head whips to face his. “Yup. You said yourself he has a daughter,” he shrugs.

My eyes look at the clock to check and see if we’re doing good on time. Ellie and Dina will be bursting in at any moment. They don’t need to be privy to this conversation.

Once I have my confirmation, I refocus on the to-go containers in front of me. “Then why would he and his daughter sleep in my bed with me the other night?” I ask.

Maddie's jaw drops and her eyes widen. “You slept in the same bed together?!” She practically shrieks.

“Yeah, I told you,” I remind her.

Maddie shakes her head in disbelief. “No, you told me they stayed the night. Not that you were cuddled up with Joel Miller,” she hisses.

I shake my head and begin pleading my case, “I wasn't cuddled up with him. Ellie had a sit–”

Joel walks in and I shut myself up, my eyes immediately finding his. “Hey y’all, I want to introduce you to my brother, Tommy,” he bellows with a smile, stepping to the side.

A man a bit younger than Joel steps through my entryway, his hair slightly slicked back. He’s not my type, but he’s definitely Maddie’s. I stop placing the cakes in the to-go boxes, crossing the floor to meet them halfway. “Come on in. It’s nice to meet you,” I smile, putting my hand on his arm to pull him into the kitchen.

Tommy looks down at me and smiles. “Likewise. Heard a lot about you,” he confesses with warmth in his voice.

Fucking attractiveness and charm must run in the family. “Good things, I hope,” I suggest to Tommy, peering up at him.

Tommy nods, chuckling a bit. “Fantastic things, darlin’,” he assures me and I almost melt. It’s good to know that Joel and Ellie talk about me positively.

When we get to the kitchen, Maddies is already standing seemingly posing by the counter. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Madeline,” she flirts, extending her hand for him to shake.

I let go of his jacket, sliding into Maddie’s seat at the bar. “Tommy,” he shakes her hand before awkwardly turning toward me.

He raises his brow almost as if he’s asking how I know them silently. “Madeline and Leo are my friends from elementary school,” I quickly explain.

Tommy lets out an ah sound, nodding a bit before Leo clears his throat. “Nice to meet you, man,” Leo chimes.

“Likewise,” Tommy returns.

I clap my hands softly, clasping them together in front of my chest. “Now, Tommy. I hate to put you to work but can you help me carry this stuff out to the van?” I request.

Tommy smiles, pushing his hair back with his fingers. “Of course,” he agrees.

My body turns towards my best friends. “Maddie, can you and Leo grab the cookie tubs and put them in the other van?” I ask the pair.

“I can do it by myself,” Leo grumbles and I realize I’ve hurt his ego.

“I know you can. Maddie is just the brains of the operation,” I soothe him.

Maddie snickers and Leo rolls his eyes. “Fine, let’s go brain,” he says, putting his arm around her shoulder.

“Aye aye, Pinky,” Maddie salutes him as they stomp out of the room.

Tommy and I get to work grabbing the Fall Fest dinners and putting them into a large box. After they’re stacked on a dolly, we begin to load them one by one onto the first bakery van. A comfortable silence fills the van as we secure the last of the food. “So, are you single?” I ask Tommy, attempting to play matchmaker for Maddie.

Tommy wipes his hands on his pants and my nose scrunches. Later he’s going to wonder where that stain came from… men. “Depends on who’s asking,” he drawls suspiciously.

I scoff, hopping down out of the van. “You and Leo are the biggest whores I’ve ever met. It’s a simple question Tommy,” I rant before forcefully pushing another box towards him.

Tommy stops the box from moving so quickly across the large metal floor paneling. “Who’s asking, Ginny?” he directs.

My leg bounces and the ways Maddie will kill me for this runs through my brain. “Madeline,” I jabber, hoping he won't tell her.

Tommy looks up at me blinking rapidly. His mouth forms a large o and his brows furrow. “I’m single, but I’m not interested,” he declares.

I put my hands on my hips. “What do you mean you’re not interested? She’s literally perfect,” I say, pointing out the fact that she’s a blonde with blue eyes. She’s every man in America’s dream.

Tommy shrugs. “Hate to say it but we Millers have a type. She’s beautiful, just not my cup of tea if you catch my drift,” he explains resuming his work.

Ohhhh. I didn’t know the Millers prefer brown women. But then again, I’ve never actually been to Joel's house or seen a picture of Sarah, or his exes. How the fuck was I supposed to know? “100%” I confirm, pushing him another box. “Can I ask you something?” I ask.

“Depends-” Tommy starts and I cut him off.

“On what it is I know,” I snap, gnawing on my bottom lip. “How do I say this?” I think out loud.

Tommy's choleric disposition takes over his face, similar to Joel's when he’s had enough. “Whatever it is spit it out,” he growls lowly.

The sweat on my forehead collects and I feel like hot water is being poured onto my scalp. But I have to know how Joel feels about me, and Tommy would know. “Is Joel interested in me?” I blurt, feeling like I’ve finally submerged myself in a cool bath.

Tommy doesn’t say anything, he just purses his lips. The comfort I felt turns into pain when the water turns into ice. My body is frozen and I’m rendered speechless.

I want to flee. I need to get out of here. I shouldn’t have asked. “Oh my god,” I finally speak.

“Mmmhm,” Tommy hums, motioning for me to pass him another box so I can continue t

I rub my eyebrows as the pit in my stomach fills with anxiety. “Oh god, Tommy. What am I gonna do?” I ask, unable to stand anymore with the alley seemingly spinning.

I take a seat in the back of the truck, putting my head in my hands. “What do you want to do?” Tommy asks.

“I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking you,” I groan towards the ground.

“Well the way I see it, lean into it or tell him so he doesn’t fall harder for ya,” he advises.

My brain runs through all the moments that I’ve had with Joel. How the first day we met he offered to cook for me. Every lingering touch, all the compliments he’s given me, when vulnerable he’s been with me. You don’t do that with someone who’s just a friend.

I peel my hands away from my face with realization. “Oh my gosh, he’s been sending so many signals. I’m going to throw up,” I groan.

Tommy steps out of the van, looking down at me. “Please don’t,” he pleads.

Suddenly, Joel comes around the corner at the most inappropriate time. These Millers just pop up anywhere and one day, they’re going to make me piss myself. They need a bell on their ankles. He hands the last boxes to Tommy and I pray to the gods above he didn’t overhear our conversation. “Don’t what?” Joel asks.

Fuck. My body tenses and I try to focus on containing the bile rising in my throat. “Ginny’s feelin’ dizzy. I’m almost finished here. She’s just gonna sit for a second,” he tells his brother.

Joel sits down on the metal butt of the truck next to me. He puts his hand in my lap, palm facing up towards me. I accept his offer, intertwining our fingers. “You need anything, sugar?” he asks sweetly, and I sigh.

I nod, running the back of his hands with my thumb. Attentive Joel is my favorite, but only because I’m an attention whore. “Can you get me a Coke from the fridge? Maybe I just need some caffeine,” I request.

Joel nods, trying to let go of my hand. Although I don’t want him to, I allow him to disconnect from me. “Of course, I’ll be right back,” he says, petting my head before turning around and disappearing behind the van.

A sigh of relief slips my lips and I try to refocus on calming my breathing. “So are you?” I hear Tommy say behind me.

I scoot back against the inside of the van walls, allowing the sides to cool me down. “Am I what?” I ask him with a raised brow.

“Are you single?” he reiterates.

A smirk creeps onto my lips. “Depends on who’s asking,” I taunt him.

“Joel,” Tommy cuts straight to the point, unlike me.

I giggle and I feel like the panic has finally subsided. “Yeah, I’m single,” I tell him.

Tommy finishes securing the last box and he turns around to face me. He puts his hands on his upper thigh, leaning on one leg. Jesus Christ, now that’s attractive. “And open? Ready?” he interrogates.

I nod, sliding out of the truck. “Tommy, I mean it. Make sure Joel knows how ready,” I say to him as he shuts the back doors.

Joel turns off the engine to the bakery van, having pulled into the spot at the school where vendors unload. He turns to me and flashes me a smile. “You alright?” he asks concerned.

After that conversation with Tommy, I needed more than just a Coke. I needed multiple shots of tequila. I forced Tommy and Maddie to join me, leaving Joel and Leo the only sober people to drink the trucks.

I nod, and my body bobs unstabily. “Yes,” I slur.

Joel shakes his head and his head falls back. He lets out a loud bellowing laugh, holding his stomach and I know he’s caught me in the lie. “Well, you are not talking to any parents tonight,” he chuckles, wiping his hands over his face.

I roll my eyes at him. “I wasn’t planning on it. Besides, all the moms are going to be all over hot Chef Miller,” I complain, hoping he doesn’t notice my jealousy.

He laughs again and it’s so beautiful, I want to make his laugh featuring Ellie’s giggle my alarm clock so I can wake up peacefully. Snap the fuck out of it, Imogen. “That’s not going to happen,” Joel says, opening his door.

I don’t get to respond before he shuts it, jogging over to my side to retrieve me. Joel opens the door and I’m reading to pounce. “Yes, the fuck it is,” I counter, feeling my emotional drunk alter ego arise.

Joel leans against the door frame, extending his hand to help me down. “Well good thing I don’t want any of them,” he claims.

I accept his hand, looking at him with hope in my eyes. “Really?” I ask.

Joel’s pupils dilate and he flashes me a smile. “Really,” he confirms, putting his hands on my hips.

He guides me until my back is pressed against the cool metal of the truck. His eyes flicker down to my lips before back up to me. If he’s going to do anything, he better do it now before someone sees us.

“Joel!” “Ginny!” I hear Ellie and Dina’s voices call from behind Joel. Fuck, scratch a bell bracelet. They need a fucking air horn.

Joel steps back, putting some space between us. “Hey kiddo,” he greets her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

Fucking cock blocking crotch demons. Let it go, Imogen. He was probably just trying to perform a wellness check on you. “Hey, Dina,” I say, teetering over to her in my heels.

“Thanks for coming,” I hear Ellie say to her dad.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I hear Joel say before the second van pulls up in the spot next to us.

Ellie gasps when she sees who’s in the passenger seat. She slams her hand on the glass window, effectively scaring Leo who’s on the other side. “Uncle Tommy!” she cheers before running over to the passenger side.

Joel leans over until his lips are touching my ear. “It’s always ‘Uncle Tommy, Uncle Tommy.’ But never ‘Dad’,” he complains in a whisper.

I sway a bit, unstable from the drinking. “Patience, young padawan,” I quote Star Wars to him.

Joel wraps his arms around my waist to stabilize me. Dina’s eyes look us up and down. She leans forward and sniffs the air in front of my face. “Ginny, are you drunk?” she asks loudly.

“Shhhhh. You’ll tell the whole fucking school,” I shush her, pulling her towards me so Leo can get out of the car.

Dina snickers, lacing her hand in mine. “Come on, we’re walking to the corner store for snacks before it starts,” she enlists me.

I nod excitedly, thinking about the possibility of having slushies and Hot funyons. “Count me in. Got any cash, Joel?” I ask the resourceful man. He’s bound to have something on him and I don’t feel like bringing my purse.

He nods, reaching into his back pocket to pull out a brown leather wallet. “Mmhm. Take Tommy with you, Sugar,” he hands me back two twenties and I gladly accept them, slipping them into Dina’s hands.

I wine, squirming a bit. “But Joel, Maddie will be with us. All girls with Tommy would just be weird,” I complain.

Joel brushes past me, heading towards the back of the trucks. “I don’t care, you’re both drunk. You need someone out there lookin’ after y’all,” he says over his shoulder.

Dina tugs my hands a couple of times, dancing in place. “Awwww,” she coos.

I cover my mouth to try to stop the giggle that slips out. He’s cute when he’s all protective and shit. “Hehe. Does he have a gun?” I ask, pulling Dina towards the back with me.

Joel grabs the handle, opening the heavy doors. “Yes,” he answers.

“Well okay, as long as he doesn’t bother us,” I conceded.

The 3 others from the van join us along with Ellie. Dina immediately ditches me, joining her now best friend. “Tommy, walk with them to the store,” Joel commands his brother.

“Why can’t Leo do it?” Tommy groans like a child.

Joel takes out the Dolly to start unloading the items. “Because Leo’s sober, and I need his help with this shit,” he states frustratedly.

Leo snickers, walking over to the truck to start unloading the boxes. “Ahem,” I clear my throat at Joel.

That fucker forgot one crucial part. “And stay ten paces behind them,” he adds.

Tommy puts his hands up. “Fine by me. I don’t wanna know you’re girly bullshit anyways,” he jeers.

Madeline pats him on the shoulders. “That’s what they all say, Tommy,” she argues.

Maddie links her arm with mine. “We’ll see you guys later,” I say to Joel before joining the teenagers for the walk down the block.

We walk through the parking lot for a bit before entering the school. Whenever I have a drop of liquor in me, I have the urge to Irish goodbye. I drag Maddie with me until were walking closer behind the girls. “We should really lose him,” I suggest.

Ellie looks over her shoulder at Tommy before nodding at Dina. “Okay, follow us,” Dina intrusts.

I nod as we move quickly through the hall taking a left and running into a room. We quickly shut the door behind us, and I peer out the window waiting for Tommy to walk by. When he does, he looks confused turning around in circles. I snicker and he seemingly hears. I quickly pulls my head away from the small plexiglass, hoping he didn’t notice me. “Did we lose him?” Ellie asks, looking over my shoulder.

Maddie takes matters into her own hands, stepping past me to check. “Coast is clear,” she informs us with a smile.

We break out into laughter and I feel like I’ve just pulled off the greatest inside job ever. “Let’s go,” Dina says, reaching for the door handle.

When we get to the store, I bolt toward the Slurpee machine. I grab the largest cup size, filling it with cherry and coke flavors. Once my drink is secured, I grab and fill two cups for Tommy and Joel. Ellie finds me, grabbing Joel's cup, and together we wander the store looking for the spicy chips.

I snatch three bags from the top shelf, figuring someone will stick their fingers in my bag and piss me off. It’s always good to have extras. “You know, I’d be okay if my dad dated someone like you,” Ellie pipes up randomly next to me.

I almost drop the Slurpee onto the tile floor beneath me. “Oh. Where is this coming from?” I ask her with a raised brow.

She grabs some chips before we walk towards the candy aisle to meet with Maddie and Dina. “He asked me if I was okay with him dating someone the other day,” she leaves me hanging on her every word.

“What’d you say?” I dig deeper.

She turns towards me with a smirk on her lips. “I said I wouldn’t care as long as it was you,” she admits.

The door to the corner store dings and Tommy is pushed in by the windy city. He looks pissed as fuck as he stomps over towards us. “The hell? Your dad is gonna kill me if he finds out–” he starts before Ellie cuts him by shoving a Slurpee in his hand.

“He’ll be fine. Let’s go, Uncle Tommy,” she motions towards the counter.

By the time we’re back in the gym, everything is set up. Joel graciously accepts the Slurpee, which turns his tongue blue, sending Ellie into a fit of giggles. Now hours later, I walk around the gym shopping at other booths with Madeline. I can’t deny that every time I look at Joel, our eyes link for a second too long. The simple interaction causes my breath to catch in my chest every time, and I try to ignore it.

After some time, we’re finished looking in the main gym, and we head into the hall to see the art auction pieces. Eligible students can create anything they want; a poem, a painting, or a sculpture to put up for action. The people who come to Fall Fest pledge money towards an art piece, and the money earned goes towards the student’s college tuition.

We stroll down the hall, mindlessly chatting about which pieces we want to bid on before Maddie points at a specific piece. “That’s fucking gorgeous,” she blusters.

A smile creeps on my face when I look closer at the signature. The familiar white calligraphy makes my heart sing. “It’s Ellie’s,” I boast about the talented young girl.

“Now I see why she’s painting the mural. This is some good shit. I’ve gotta commission her for some art,” Maddie rambles, seemingly entranced by the swirls of paint before her.

I nod, smiling at the though of Ellie becoming an artist of some kind. “She’d probably love that,” I tell her.

When I turn around, I see Joel walking through the door of the large hall. His eyes dart around till he finds me, b-lining for us. He stands in front of me awkwardly and when Maddie turns around, she jumps from being startled a bit. “Well, I’m gonna just go look…” she trails off, effectively excusing herself.

“Can we talk?” Joel asks, tilting his head towards a darker secluded hall.

“Yeah,” I say to him, pulling him into the area not lit by prison lighting.

Once we’re alone, I lean back against the wall. “What’s wrong?” I tilt my head attempting to cajole him into telling me.

“Nothin’ it’s just, I’ve bit my tongue 'cause I was unsure if–” he pauses and takes a deep breath. “I enjoy spendin’ time with you, Ginny. You’ve become important to me and you should know that I care about you deeply, sugar,” he confesses.

Oh, I wasn’t expecting that. This train has a one-way route towards the friend zone. “I care about you too Joel! And I like spending time with you too. And Ellie,” I sadly follow his lead.

Joel steps closer, putting his hand over my head and leaning forward. “I just really don’t wanna lose you,” he expresses, voice laced with sincerity.

My hands snake up around his waist and I grip the grey shirt he’s wearing. “How would you lose me, Joel?”

Joel's eyes stay fixed on mine and the brown in his eyes swirls like hot chocolate. “Sugar, I feel more than just a friendship level for ya. I like you,” he stresses.

“Oh, Joel. I’m not going anywhere. I wouldn’t,” I promise him, pulling him closer so our upper bodies are pressed towards each other.

He sighs, looking down at the ground between us. “I know, but telling you that means changing our relationship. I don’t want to scare you and I didn’t know–” he starts before I tap his side, cutting him off.

“Joel, I like you too. Like… a lot,” I confirm.

His head quickly rises and he sighs, “Oh.”

I’m starting to feel embarrassed by the whole situation. “Dear, god. I-I don’t know why my brain goes blank when I look at you. I think I’m going crazy. I feel like a high schooler,” I falter.

Joel chuckles, leaning forward to press his forehead onto mine. I clear my throat, impatient tugging at his side. “So, I think this is the part where you’re supposed to kiss me,” I murmur.

Joel takes his forehead off of mine, searching my face seemingly wary of crossing the line. All he’s going to find is my stupid shit-eating grin. “Are you sure?” Joel asks for consent and I think it’s the most sexy thing I’ve ever heard leave a man's lips.

“Positive,” I nod, radiating with excitement.

“Okay,” he sighs and a wolfish grin creeps onto his face.

His hands slide up to my neck, pulling me closer. “Okay,” I murmur.

He grabs the back of my neck, crashing his lips onto mine. We both smile into the kiss and I force a giggle back down my throat. My lips open slightly, granting him entrance. His warm tongue dances with mine and I marvel at the taste of whiskey and apple on his lips. It’s filled with so much passion, that I feel like my heart is about to explode.

His fingers thread into my hair, massing my scalp as he kisses me. I moan into his mouth and my clit pulsates with a hunger for him. He disconnects our lips, leaving us both panting because of the other. “Was that as good for you as it was for me?” I murmur against his lips.

“Probably better,” Joel grunts before pulling back and motioning towards the hard member protruding through his jeans.

“Joel, oh my gosh,” I giggle, stepping forward and wrapping my arms around his torso. “Can I have one more?” I practically salivate, batting my lashes at him.

Joel nods, snaking his hand back around my neck. His thumb strokes my jaw and I lean into him. “Mmmhm,” he hums, dipping his head back down.

His lips connect with mine and my tongue continues to explore his map. I want to stay in this moment forever. It feels like a dream and I don’t want to wake up. His lips are surprisingly soft and I kick myself for not doing this months ago.

The smacking of our lips is apparent when we pull back this time and I know my face is covered in pink flush. “Damn it. I was supposed to do this right. Date first, then kiss,” he curses himself.

I giggle, standing on my tip-toes to press a kiss against his cheek. “Joel, I asked you to kiss me. Besides, we’ve known each other for months,” I acknowledge our past.

Joel nods, but he doesn’t seem ready to let it go. “You’re right, but still. Can I take you out on a date?” he pleads.

I’m practically bouncing on my toes, my mind racing with thoughts of my future with Joel. Relax Ginny, he just asked you out on one date. “Yes,” I blurt.

Joel chuckles at my excitement, taking a step back and lacing his hand with mine. “When are you free next?” he turns to me and asks as we walk back to the gym.

“Thursday, but it’s Thanksgiving. After that, on Friday. Speaking of, do you guys have any plans for the holiday?” I inquire.

Joel shakes his head, confirming my suspicions. “No, just me, Tommy, and Ellie eating at an undecided time,” he informs me.

“How about you join me at Maddie’s house? Her family always orders catering for Thanksgiving,” I offer, hoping he’ll grace me with his presence sooner than a week from now. I get we’re both busy food industry owners, which I love, I just don’t think I can wait that long to be in a romantic setting with him.

“I know. They’ve put in an order at The Austin for the past two years,” Joel dictates and I nod. Just my luck, the man’s food I’ve been shoveling into my mouth for the past 6 holidays is also the man I’m trying to date.

I poke his muscular bicep with my free hand. “Even better, you can personally deliver it and tell everyone who doesn’t like it that they’re wrong. Just like you did on my birthday,” I joke with him and he puts his hands on his chest, seemingly hurt by my statement.

“I’m sorry about that, darlin’. Really I am,” Joel apologizes.

I tug on his hand, trying to grab his attention and snap him out of a spiral. “I’m fucking with you, Joel. Please come. I’m sure Ellie would love it,” I practically beg him.

Joel pauses, looking up to think about it. He’s probably worried about how unpredictable his two family members would be in this setting. “Okay, we’ll come,” he concedes, finally.

“Good. I’ll text you the details. You’re standing straighter,” I beam, pointing out his posture change.

Joel chuckles, rubbing his thumb across mine soothingly. “I feel like a house just lifted off my back. I’ve had my eyes on you since June 30th,” he confesses.

I smirk, leaning closer to him. “So Maddie was right, you were practically drolling on my shoulder,” I taunt.

“She said that?” he asks with furrowed brows.

I nod, attempting not to give him too much information. “Mmmhm,” I hum.

He tugs on my hand, stopping me in my tracks before I reach the entryway. “I’m not going to deny that, Sugar,” he looks me up and down like I’m a meal he wants to ravish.

The thought of us fucking turns me on even more, and I have to remind myself we’re in a high school. “Okay, one last kiss before we’re back in the gym?” I use my siren eyes against him, peering up at him through my lashes.

“I like how you think,” Joel mumbles, sliding his free hand up and around the front of my neck. He gently pulls me forward, connecting our lips one final time. A wave of relief hits me, and I moan as his tongue dances with mine in the filthiest way. Me and Joel Miller are going out on a date.

read the rest of the series

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transmasc-archive · 2 years

Text

Now that it's been a few days and on the Discord blog we've decided on a bit of a system, here's what we've come up with. These are the rules:

Welcome to the Transmasc Archive! Unlike what the title suggest, we do not archive transmasc people onto shelves, we archive our own stories and discussions! Here's a few rules for you and everyone else to have a good time on this server!

Rule n.1: Make an intro in the channel below. You'll be able to strike up conversations much faster if others know who you are! You'll also need to choose an emoji to claim articles.

Rule n.2: No harassment. Any type of bigotry will not be tolerated. No racism, no antisemitism, no islamophobia, no misogyny, no homophobia, no transphobia, no ableism. No purposefully misgendering users.

Rule n.3: No discourse. No putting people's identity and labels into question, no bringing drama from any fandom or community, no shipping discourse, no discourse on the terminology of the words transmisandry or transandrophobia.

Rule n.4: No spam. Don't clog up the channels with constant messages. Don't keep tagging people on every message you send.

Rule n.5: Minors are not allowed to send selfies in the selfies channel.

We have a three strikers, then kick policy. After you've been kicked, you'll have to fill out a form to be allowed back in. Another strike and you're banned.

What do we mean when we say "claim articles"? I'm glad you asked!

These are our channels! Now what's each channel for?

The first three, after general chat of course, are for the technical aspects of running the website.

The blue ones are the channels to discuss topics for each website's section, that I will show below.

And the green ones are casual channels!

But let's get to placeholder-articles. This is a channel meant to serve as a sort of queue for articles that we've planned. It keeps track of what articles are going to be written and which ones have been published!

However, they also serve another very important function: claiming articles!

You see, someone might have a great idea for an article, that others agree should be written, but they don't have the time or spoons to actually write the article, or maybe they're just throwing the idea out there!

So, anyone's free to "claim" that idea and write the article themselves! That's what you need your emoji for.

Here's the system:

When you have a clear idea for an article, post a placeholder name on this channel.

This is why we ask that the name be something descriptive, like: MISINFORMATION - Radical Feminism's Ties to Right Wing Ideology

You can change the title when you post the article, we just need to know what it's about!

You can post placeholder names for articles that you, personally, don't plan on writing, but think should be written anyways. If you're not sure anyone would be interested, ask in the section's channel if others like the idea.

If you plan on writing the article yourself, put your emoji after your own title. If you see a placeholder that hasn't been claimed, you can claim it by reacting to the message with your emoji! First come, first served rules. You can discuss switching or backing out in private messages, of course.

As a rule of thumb, don't write placeholder messages for ideas others have pitched in another channel. Just wait until they do it!

Once you've written the article and you've posted in, or sent it to someone who has posted it (or are just about to), react to the placeholder title message with this emoji: to let us know it's been posted.

So here's the deal: we have A LOT of ideas so far! So many, we can't possibly write them all. We're showing them here so you guys know what to expect in the future, but also hoping it might also give you the incentive to join and find something to write!

Here's the list of ideas we have so far. As you can see, some have already been claimed!

Transcript:

HEALTHCARE - Everything Testosterone - What Will It Do To My Body?

HEALTHCARE - Top Surgery: What are My Options?

HEALTHCARE - Bottom Surgery: What Are My Options?

HEALTHCARE - Testosterone and Infertility: Some Myths

HEALTHCARE - Needle Safety For Testosterone Injection

HEALTHCARE - Acne Care For Your Second Puberty

HEALTHCARE - Yes, There Too: How To Clean Your Body On Testosterone

HEALTHCARE - Receding Hairline: How To Prevent It, and How to Grieve It

HEALTHCARE - Self Advocacy in the Doctor’s Office

HISTORY - Transmasc History 101 - Lesbian or Trans Man? The Labeling Issue

MISINFORMATION - TERFs and Their Transandrophobic Rhetoric

MISINFORMATION - Radical Feminism Explained - The That's-A-Lot-Of-Assumptions Ideology

TIRFism - Is It Really Any Better than TERFism?

TERFs And Their Unlikely Ally - The Alt-Right

Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria: How Trans Men And Transmascs Are Gaslighted Into Complacency

Butch Flight - When Trans Men And Transmascs' Worth Depends On Being An Option to Fuck

Tonight's The Time To Join The Wolfen Clan - Testosterone Ignites Violence?

Is Transmasculinity An Escape From The Patriarchy? A Transmasc Perspective On This Topic, Finally

MISINFORMATION- No One Wins- Transmasc Invisibility in Media Content, and Why

CREATIVE WORKS - Homestuck and Its History With Transmasculinity

MISINFORMATION - Myths About Post Transition Social Norms for Trans Mascs

MISINFORMATION - Fujoshi Was His Name - The Myth of Gay Men LARPing As Yaoi Boys (edited)

MISINFORMATION - Who Were Baedells?

MISINFORMATION - "Sisterhood" - Cis Women And Their Entitlement to Our Bodies

MISINFORMATION - The Day I Disappeared - Transandrophobia Outside Of TERF Circles

CREATIVE WORKS - Trans mascs in the music scene

MISINFORMATION - Trans Exclusionary Homosexual Males - Vagina Repulsion As The Basis of Homosexuality

TRANSMASC QUEER THEORY - Butch, Futch And Femme Labels Among Queer Men

TRANSMASC QUEER THEORY - Transmasc Lesbians And Male Lesbians - A Lesson In How Labels Aren't Boxes

And now, a look at our website, The Transmasc Archive, edited by @hadeantaiga!

This is the Home page. Now here's a rundown of the sections based on the topics we'd like to cover:

Let's explore them in order:

Transm-ask: This is the section where you can ask us any question regarding transmasculinity, whether it's labels, transition info, coming out tips, and much more. And if you'd like to stay anonymous, you can send your questions to @transm-ask.

Healthcare: This section will cover things like medical transition but also interacting with doctors when you're a transmasculine or FtM person, especially in reproductive care.

History: This section will cover transmasculine and trans FtM history. Every month on the 19th, we publish "Historic Trans Man of the Month" starting next month, on International Men's Day!

Misinformation: This is the section where we debunk myths on testosterone and trans men, and where we discuss transandrophobic rhetoric coming from different sources, inside and outside the queer community.

Transmasc queer theory: Here we keep the complicated and personal stuff. The discussion of transmasc labels, our relationship with gender and how it intersects with our sexuality, how trans men uncover how complicated male privilege is.

Transmasc support: This section is for you! Got something you'd like to show off? An online store, a webcomic, a YouTube channel? This is the section for you.

Creative works: The last section covers transmascs and trans men in creative fields, as well as representation and...original works! Each month we propose a new prompt for stories, illustrations or mini-comics. Whichever avenue you prefer!

And the forum is for discussing among users on the site itself!

Hopefully this can give everyone a better idea of how this is gonna work, so if any of you were on the fence about joining, you know what to expect!

#the transmasc archive #queer #transmasc #trans ftm

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mariana-oconnor · 1 year

Text

The Crooked Man pt 2

So far we have had no crooked men, miles, sixpences or stiles. I feel a little bereft.

We do however have a corpse, and like so many things, that's a lot more fun in fiction than it would be in real life.

We also have questions: Who else was in the room? Where is the key? Is David a character or a biblical reference? Was this all a swingers evening gone wrong? Why was the door locked? Why did Nancy ask for tea when she usually doesn't?

The paper was covered with the tracings of the foot-marks of some small animal. It had five well-marked foot-pads, an indication of long nails, and the whole print might be nearly as large as a dessert-spoon. “It's a dog,” said I.

Ah nuts, is Watson going to kill this one, too?

“Did you ever hear of a dog running up a curtain? I found distinct traces that this creature had done so.” “A monkey, then?” “But it is not the print of a monkey.”

Yeah, monkeys have tiny little hands. A cat? They sometimes climb curtains. I'm sure a dog could climb a curtain in the right circumstances.

“Neither dog nor cat nor monkey nor any creature that we are familiar with."

Ferret. I'm going with ferret, although I will accept an alternative mustelidae relative. Probably not a honey badger. Probably...

"You have an indication, you see, of a long body with very short legs attached to it."

Ferret!

Watson, please don't shoot the ferret. I will be very sad if you shoot the ferret.

"On the whole, it was probably some creature of the weasel and stoat tribe—and yet it is larger than any of these that I have seen.”

The honey badger can have a canary, as a treat.

(If it isn't a honey badger now, I'm gonna be so sad. It's a honey badger in my heart.)

"We know, also, that he ran across the lawn, entered the room, accompanied by a strange animal, and that he either struck the Colonel or, as is equally possible, that the Colonel fell down from sheer fright at the sight of him"

"Now, it was equally certain that, immediately on her return, she had gone to the room in which she was least likely to see her husband, had flown to tea as an agitated woman will..."

So the tea is because she was agitated? Okay, I guess I can allow that. It is the British way: crisis = tea. Fair.

"I saw a man coming towards us with is back very bent, and something like a box slung over one of his shoulders. He appeared to be deformed, for he carried his head low and walked with his knees bent."

One (1) 'Crooked' man, check.

Miss Morrison is a good friend, very supportive of her. She is being very rude about this man - Henry - though. 'dreadful looking creature'. He's just a man. Possibly a murderer, true, but there's no need to be quite so rude. Another to join the Watson Society of Judgemental Descriptions.

“‘“I thought you had been dead this thirty years, Henry,” said she, in a shaking voice.'"

So it is a past husband? Right? Right?

Also, I'd like to take a moment to appreciate the amount of nested inverted commas here. This is reported speech within reported speech within reported speech. Double in single in double. I don't think I've ever actually noticed someone doing that before. I know this has nothing really to do with the story, but it's kind of impressive, no?

"'He had a very dark, fearsome face, and a gleam in his eyes that comes back to me in my dreams. His hair and whiskers were shot with gray, and his face was all crinkled and puckered like a withered apple.'"

Clearly we are meant to think of this man as a villain, but I don't want to. Guy's got wrinkles and some sort of disability, so far all he's done is recognise a lady. We've had far creepier people in these stories who everyone's gushed about. I'm on team Henry - for now. Maybe for always.

"The man is by trade a conjurer and performer, going round the canteens after nightfall, and giving a little entertainment at each."

Oh yeah, team Henry absolutely. He's a travelling conjurer of cheap magic tricks?

Although... he does keep a honey badger locked up in a box and brings it out to perform for money. Gosh darn it! This is why we can't have nice things.

Fine, Henry is guilty of animal cruelty and I hope the honey badger eats him. Are you happy ACD? ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

"She showed it to me, Watson, and it was an Indian rupee."

I thought Indian when they said monkey earlier, because in part one they mentioned the Colonel being involved in the Mutiny - which I assume was one of the Indian Mutinies - but then we went onto mustelidae. And I'm pretty sure the honey badger is native to Africa... oh no, oh no, oh no, I am wrong. It is native to India. HONEY BADGER CONSPIRACY IS BACK IN BUSINESS.

Unless the guy is a were-honey badger. (I mean obviously not really, but that's going in the supernatural Holmes universe in my head as well).

Also it could be a type of marten, but while team Henry has been abandoned, team Honey Badger is going strong.

The man sat all twisted and huddled in his chair in a way which gave an indescribably impression of deformity; but the face which he turned towards us, though worn and swarthy, must at some time have been remarkable for its beauty.

So Watson thinks he's hot? Or he was hot? Coolcool. Not the description I was expecting here.

"There were two men that loved her, and one that she loved, and you'll smile when you look at this poor thing huddled before the fire, and hear me say that it was for my good looks that she loved me."

Well, Watson apparently won't. But it's definitely looking like it's an accidental bigamy situation. I hate it when that happens. Also... liking him for his looks is not the basis for a strong relationship. I hope she liked you for other things, too.

"But the real blow was to my heart and not to my head, for as I came to and listened to as much as I could understand of their talk, I heard enough to tell me that my comrade, the very man who had arranged the way that I was to take, had betrayed me by means of a native servant into the hands of the enemy."

Alas, Colonel Barclay, you were a dick. Congratulations on a truly terrible case of being a poor loser. She didn't want you, just fucking deal with it, my dude. Don't betray your own fucking men. Terrible plan. 0/10. Your death was utterly deserved.

So Henry was tortured and enslaved and permanently disabled, yeah. And also left with so much internalised ableism that he can't bear to go home and be seen like that. Henry, if you weren't super guilty of animal cruelty, I would be fully on your side. I mean I am on your side... just... why do you keep a honey badger in a box?

"But he was dead before he fell. I read death on his face as plain as I can read that text over the fire. The bare sight of me was like a bullet through his guilty heart.”

Good riddance.

I am amused by how things like this happen in victorian fiction, though. Just one look at the guy and he keels over dead.

“It's a mongoose,” I cried.

...

Fine... Honey badger conspiracy is out. But mongeese are pretty cool, too. I've always thought of them as being pretty small, though, but the internet tells me they can be anywhere from 9 inches to 23 inches long. So they are both small and larger, I guess. They're also not mustelids, so there's that.

Also, I should have guessed this, because it's one of my favourite Terry Pratchett quotations and this part is out on the Glorious 25th of May:

'...the trouble with small furry animals in a corner is that, just occasionally, one of them's a mongoose.'

Well it definitely was this time. GNU Terry Pratchett, I should always listen to you.

Honey badger was probably too big to climb up a curtain...

Still shouldn't keep a mongoose in a box and force it to perform, though.

“But if not, there is no object in raking up this scandal against a dead man, foully as he has acted."

I mean, on the one hand, sure, but on the other hand Drag his Ass.

“Yes; David strayed a little occasionally, you know, and on one occasion in the same direction as Sergeant James Barclay. You remember the small affair of Uriah and Bathsheba?"

I may have been wrong about the honey badger, but I was right about the biblical reference. Little wins, amirite?

Turns out Colonel Barclay was as big a dick as the 'violence and vindictiveness' indicated. Alas.

BUT, Watson didn't shoot any animals. Yay.

Although poor Teddy is still shut up in a box and Henry also has a cobra in there that he tortures for the amusement of people in bars.

The next one is another 4-parter, so plenty of time for me to make up harebrained theories about mustelidae.

#Letters from Watson #Sherlock Holmes #The Crooked Man #Free Teddy #Justice for mongeese #long post

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crimsonsairina · 1 year

Note

Hi Snippetfriend <3

Excuse me marching in here unannounced. I decided to send some asks, and well, I thought that perhaps you might also like these questions. (Feel free to answer in your own time or ignore as your spoons allow. <3)

I know we love to talk about breaking the rules in writing and obviously, that not every piece of advice is one-size-fits all, but there is a lot to say about being able to speak with each other about what we have learned during our journey. I was wondering if you wouldn't share. (I also plan on poking some of the others to see what more we can shake out. The more the merrier, no?)

What is the most useful/helpful pieces of advice you ever received during your formal education in relation to writing?

Once you started to write, what was the most important thing that you learned about writing or its process?

Has your real life had any influence on your writing? If so, how?

What advice would you give to aspiring writers (be it fanfiction or original)?

No need to apologise, I appreciate the ask. Fortunately I've got the spoons right now.

I have no formal education in writing, but I did go to a workshop at a nearby library, with a professional author. Her advice to us was to try to describe an orange to a blind person. I've followed that for my descriptions ever since.

Write badly. Just get it out of your system. Leave it on the burner and go back and edit later. Nothing is set in stone until it's published. It's okay to change your mind.

Only my dismal view on mankind and the knowledge and understanding that my POV isn't a universal one. That counts, right?

Perspective matters. All of the cultural baggage that you assume everyone else shares with you? It's just yours. Idioms, sayings and opinions vary. Personalities vary. Write women and queer folk as people. If you don't know something, research it. Be a nerd. Go into a project with the acceptance that you probably have no idea what you're doing. Keep in mind that a lot of movies and TV shows are more "aesthetics" than accuracy. Study and travel, broaden your perspective. Always be open to learning new things about the world. Add it to your writing. Don't worry about "everything having to fit the plot", a story is more than just plot.

#ask answered #thequeenofthewinter #writing #love and light

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thisliminalspacedaydreams · 6 months

Note

For the fanfic writer asks let’s do M A and R for our names lmaooo

Hellouuu

M: What’s the weirdest AU scenario you’ve ever come up with? Did it turn into a story?

I think TISAYCTM. I've always loooooooveeddd a good soulmate AU. The Star Wars fandom was overflowing with them, there were SO MANY I couldn't even read them all, but god knows I tried. So I really wanted to write my own little version of soulmates AU but I wanted it to be original and not like the other girls.

I've seen the Hanahaki disease trope, the tattoo trope, the sparks fly when you touch trope, the A/B/O trope, and they're all fun and games, but and I wanted it weirder.

I was reading Plato's Symposium at the time, and I love aliens, and it kind of started from there, the idea of having monsters/aliens/humans as soulmates and being separated by Gods because of their power, long ago.

And it just...SNOWBALLED into whatever the hell I'm writing now.

A: Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

My fave solo fanfic is Heartless, even though she's full of holes and I'm editing her to all hell as we speak because I see all of her flaws and I want to fix her and make her all pretty.

My non solo fave is currently under works and I hope to god we get to release it at some point because it's been something I've been loving for a year, and we recently started writing it and I think it might become my best duo work, when it's done. I hope so anyway.

R: Which writers (fanfic or otherwise) do you consider the biggest influence on you and your writing?

There are a few fics out there that are written in a way that drive me bananas.

Choices is one. @sophsicle writing was the one to push me into writing fiction again. I think they have such a weird effortless beautiful way with words that cannot be replicated. It's so simple but always somehow packs a punch and I don't know many long stories where all the words are needed and everything matters?

Pledge is another by @ellabesmirched. The writing there is also phenomenal and so different from what I've ever seen. I couldn't believe my eyes as I was reading that fic. I was drawn into the world and the characters and I think there is something about how the intentions are rarely really explained, and it leaves a LOT of room for interpretation for the reader, and I love that stuff. I like not being spoon fed my fics.

Annihilation by had me sobbing because the writing is bonkers???????? and I actually will never recover from this fic. NEVER. The companion fic was just as crazy. This line comes from Apocrypha : The man’s eyes are the sort of incomprehensible color that’s only ever mentioned in descriptions of horrors and God.

I don't know what to say. It's insane writing.

Living in border lines and every work by inthesquare @aboutnavi is so criminally underrated. There's an effortless poetry about her writing that strikes me just the right way.

There are SO. MANY. amazing writers everywhere. In all the fandom spaces I've ever been in, there are at least ten or twenty writers who I think are absolute game-changers. These are just off the top of my mind, but that doesn't diminish other writers' worth.

I think the beauty of fanfic writing is that it's so obviously un-edited and so much less palatable than "mainstream" fiction, which makes finding writers that are original and weird and wonderful much more easy than through mainstream books where books are edited to all hell and (imo) all end up looking the same.

I like the rawness of fanfic.

Yes. Give me your brain movies. That you thought up in your mind. While pretending to care about your 9/5 job.

This ask game

#mar gives the morning news #ask game

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carlotaflaneur · 10 months

Text

#6 november 2023

THERE'S THIS RUSH I'M IN IT MOVES TOO FAST FOR ME

hooooOooooooOooola :-)

how's life ? I'm going through of those periods in which everything feels hard to process and I feel like life is living ME, instead of me living it.

This past weeks Carlota + the flâneurs have been in Alicante, Castelló and Roses, and it's been beautiful !

In Alicante we played in a fairly big concert hall; it wasn't crowded so the feeling from stage was that the room was empty... BUT those who came payed such close attention, that the atmosphere was full of bliss when we finished playing. I met a guy (his name is Andrei) who had been googling what to do in Alicante and he'd found my gig, listened to my songs and decided to come over. The ticket was 15€ and he also bought the vinyl (18€). Now that's investment and trust in Carlota Flâneur !!! Andrei, you can't imagine how much I needed that, you lifted my mood and I'll be forever thankful !!!

We shared the evening with a band called Viscopaf, and the singer's dad also bought my album. He told me: I'm a big fan of Ferran Palau and a while ago I saw him live and it blew my mind, but I have to tell you that your live set has been even more impressive, but don't tell him !!!! hahahahah I believe ferran is not subscribed to my newsletter so all good, we won't tell him hahah

october 2023 – drinking water in Alicante (screenshot from Benja's footage)

Talking to the audience after a gig is what makes the whole "being on the road" thing really worth it. The day after playing in Alicante I had the pleasure to play in Alcoi on my own, at a little festival called "wow festival". I woke up in Alicante super early, and I had a horrible time because I had to take a taxi to the bus station and there were NO taxis ! I stood in the dark for more than 15 minutes and none came. I was so hopeless I began running (guitar, pedalboard, luggage in my hands & back) to the bus station, and then I saw the Alcoi bus standing by a traffic light. The driver told me I didn't need to go all the way to the bus station, I could reach the second station of the line, which was two minutes on foot away. I just had to walk straight to Avenida Salamanca and stand in front of the Lorca Café. I did so !!! It was still dark and I was already sweaty. At the bus stop I met this man who told me he was "el minutero de alicante", I got so moved by his story that I gave him a cd as a gift.

Going to Alcoi was super worth it, because everyone took such good care of me at the festival !!! They prepared vegan beef stew and I was given a really cute souvenir: a wooden spoon that has "alcoi octubre 2023" on it <3

Right after my gig in Alcoi, a woman came and bought my cd and I told her: I'm so sorry my songs are in english, maybe you didn't understand !!! and she said: you have the most beautiful melodies I've heard in a while, your music in english has really moved me !!! you can imagine the happiness spreading within my body after hearing that. Since I had to travel mostly on my own, I didn't bring a lot of merch with me, and I sold all of the vinyls !! some people that wanted the vinyl had to buy a cd instead.

Some days after the trip, I received a wetransfer from Benja Fernández who had recorded us with his handycam in Alicante :-) I guess I'll use some bits for promoting my upcoming gigs, but I felt like sharing the whole video with you, exactly how I received it. In the description you have the timing of the concert ! Borja recorded most of the songs we played. I LOVE having this material... Jordi Paula & Marcel look beautiful.

LASTLY I need to share with you L'ESMORZAR with Núria Graham. It's in catalan but you can find some interviews she's given in english as well. Talking to Núria is really inspiring to me... not only because I've followed her career and I admire her and I am in love with her work... also because she has a vision on music & creativity that gives me peace and hope. Lately (though I try not to think too much about it) numbers and the pressure of being active on social media are making me feel stressed out. And talking to Núria has reminded me of the real thing, the reason why I write songs. Thank you Núria u the best :-)

Carlota

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exclamaquest · 3 years

Note

Hey hey I have a question; you said your dad a writer, and you write fanfics? Would you mind sharing some writing tips?? Could be for fanfic, professional or both…please

so, i'm not a professional writer, that should be said before I give any advice LOL i just grew up reading a lot and with an author and a reading teacher as parents

that being said, here's the advice i can give you:

-READ. Read everything. Read fiction, read nonfiction, read picture books, read recipes you'll never cook. Read the back of shampoo bottles and the ads on buses. Read the fine print on offers that are too good to be true and read the instruction manuals that come with electronics.

Reading everything you can get your hands on is in my opinion the most important prerequisite for writing. In order to be able to effectively use different styles, you need to have a wide base of styles so you can pick and choose what will fit for the ideas you want to convey. Writing in third person present tense requires a different skillset than writing in first person past tense and you need a background with a wide variety of things you've read to draw on.

-Even beyond that, analyze what you're reading. This doesn't need to be hard. It doesn't need to be especially complicated, either. The paper in a box of tampons will have a different tone and style than a trashy romance novel. Notice how a text makes you feel, and notice what words they're using to evoke that feeling. See if you can see the mechanics of their word choice, their sentence cadence, the tools they're using to convey information.

-Even bad writing is valuable. Reading bad writing is an exercise unto itself. With good writing, everything is seamless--there's a very tiny gap between idea and execution. With bad writing, though, you can see into the gaps between what the author wanted to write and what the author actually wrote. If the writing itself is tolerable, it's a really good exercise. Look for the gap, and ask yourself what you would have done to close it more.

-Writer's block happens to literally everyone. I only have one tip that I use to get through it: Write what happens next. It doesn't have to be good. It can just be "then he walked across the room." You can edit that to be more descriptive later. Just write the very next thing that happens, and then the next thing after that, and so on and so forth. The most important thing is to get the words out.

-It's fine for you to not fine tune every single sentence to perfection. Nobody's going to notice if a few phrases aren't flawless. You don't have to make every sentence beautiful. Some sentences are just doing their jobs. You don't need to put prose into everything. Sometimes, simple is FAR better for getting your point across.

-Trust your reader. You don't need to spoon-feed them everything happening. If you have a character in the living room, you don't need to write them walking to the dining room table to set it. You don't need to detail every single little thing about a scene--that just gets tedious to read. Readers are smart. They'll be able to get what you're trying to say if you outline it enough.

This is all I've got right now, so if anyone else has tips, feel free to reblog and add them!

#writing tips #writing advice #theo.txt #theo.pdf #theo.ask #anon #writing

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callsign-joyride · 3 years

Text

Bad Day | Spencer Reid

Plot: You got fired from your job and Spencer finds out when he gets back from a case.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x reader (I don't think I used gender specific descriptions/pronouns.)

Warnings: None

Word count: 848 (it's a short one, folks)

A/N: My mental health lately has been total shit but I wanted to upload something on Twosday (today) so here we are. I can probably do better but after the week that I had, this is the best I can do right now.

---

It was safe to say that you were having the worst day of your adult life. You went to work and everything seemed normal, until your boss pulled you into his office after your lunch break. You were hoping that he would give you the raise that you were wishing for, but it was unlikely considering that the only person who knew that you wanted a raise was Spencer. Your anxiety started to get worse when he closed the door. This wasn’t going to be a quick conversation.

“I wanted to talk to you about your position here. You’ve been here for a few years, and you’ve done exceptional at your job. I’m sure that you’ve heard about the lay-offs that have been happening around the office. We’ve really enjoyed having you here but unfortunately, I have to let you go. Corporate has been issuing budget cuts to multiple departments and we can’t afford to keep a full department. I can give you until Friday to get your things and submit your timesheet.”

You were stunned to say the least.

“I would really like to keep my position here, though. I can work from home if my space is an issue. I have proven time and time again that I am more than capable of doing so. Obviously if budget cuts are the reason that I’m being fired, maybe I can still work here and provide my own materials,” you tried to reason with your boss.

“That’s not going to end well with HR. I don’t want to see you go, either. They send me a list of people that they want gone and I have to do the firing. If you don’t want to come back for the rest of the week, I understand. You have some paid vacation time that you can use and the rest of it will be rolled over into your final pay.”

“Um, okay. Thanks.”

You got up and walked out of his office and started packing up your cubicle. It was hard for you to keep it together as your colleagues stopped what they were doing to watch you put your stuff into postal bins to get it to your car.

A lot of things stayed in your car because they were desk supplies. All of the valuables and pictures with Spencer and the team took a temporary spot on your coffee table. You were going to make a big dinner for yourself because you earned it, but that was essentially thrown out the window. You cried in a McDonald’s parking lot and got a pint of triple chocolate ice cream before going back to your apartment.

You put the ice cream in the freezer and grabbed a box of Triscuits. Time seemed to pass faster, because you realized that you had to take a shower. Shouting the lyrics of your favorite songs wasn’t really helping, because all you really wanted to do was cry, but it didn’t matter. After your shower, you went back to sitting on the couch. You had your ice cream this time, and you cried into it while watching a random rom-com that you found while channel surfing.

The movie was done and you were done with your ice cream, so you got up to put it away and put the spoon in the sink. Right as you closed the door to the freezer, you heard the lock turn. There was no way in hell that you could hide what happened from Spencer. As soon as he opened the door, you jumped into his arms.

“How was the case?” You asked.

“It was good. I’m pretty tired, though.”

His eyes darted to the messy dining room table and you knew your cover was blown.

“Did something happen at work?”

You sighed. He had just gotten home from working on a case, and he asked about your day. You loved it about him, but it didn’t seem right to stress him out more because you had just lost your job. He put you down and really looked at the dining table.

“Aren’t these supposed to be on your desk?”

“Spencer…” You whispered. He turned back to you and you were starting to cry.

“Oh. That doesn’t make any sense, though. You’ve been there longer than most of your colleagues, so I would think that corporate would want you to stay.”

“Yeah, well, apparently not. I don’t even know if I can find another job in the area or work from home. I don’t think that many people care about celebrity news anymore. Maybe they only care about the ones that are releasing Blockbuster hits, I don’t know. But I’m really stressed because I have to pay the bills and I don’t know how long it’s going to take to find a new job. You look like you just got an idea.”

“What if I asked Garcia about PR jobs at Quantico?”

You let out a chuckle through the tears and let Spencer talk to Garcia. Regardless of what the issue was, Spencer always knew how to help.

#twosday #reader insert #spencer reid #crimnal minds #reid x reader #reid criminal minds #spence #x reader

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daegall · 3 years

Text

Habits

↳ where donghyuck develops habits after he meets you

pairing: lee donghyuck x reader

genre: fluff

warnings: frozen ice cream >:(

word count: 2.6k words

a/n: Hi! Okay i know he ending is literal shit, but please bare with me 😭 i will do better i swear! I have lots planned and if yall are patient, then it will come in no time (thats a lie :(( ) OKAY IM SORRY BYE

networks: @neoturtles

description: There are certain amounts of things you have done that affected Donghyuck, you changed his attitude, the way he sees things, he even likes Pizza because of you. But one of the things that stood out that you have done to him is make him adapt habits. Of course, you didn't force him to, it just appeared one day and Donghyuck didn't seem to mind them. So here are some things you he has grew onto him because of you.

Buying an extra cup of coffee

This particular habit grew on him before you two started dating, one morning when you sat sluggishly next to him in history class he couldn't help bur notice how dead and tired you looked.

The moment you trudge into the room, Donghyuck couldn’t help but wince at your tired face. Your eyes heavy and steps slowed as if there was a whole boulder in your bag. “Dude, you look like you have Mark’s schedule.”

God knows how you would deal with that packed of a schedule, you’d die. Mark Lee is really something else.

You begrudgingly flopped next to Donghyuck, sighing out a breath of exhaustion, "Goddam Mr. Kim had to give us a 5000 word essay on climate change," you groan, slapping your face lightly to try and wake up, "Who the fuck had the idea to invent plastic?"

Donghyuck only chuckles, grabbing his coffee cup from his bag, beginning to tale a swig. He stops halfway when he notices you banging your head continuously with the thick history book, sticking out his hand with the coffee in between your forehead and the hard book, just before you slam your head on it again. "Take a sip," he urges, lightly tapping it on your cheek.

You don't remember, but you think you grinned, because Donghyuck is laughing at your eagerness. "I'm taking a huge gulp!" You half tease, knowing you were actually gonna take about 3 of them. Donghyuck hisses, flicking the side of your hand momentarily, before sighing, "Just take the whole thing."

You did so gratefully, even if Donghyuck thought you were gonna give it back. After that, he would pay attention to your responses to his texts, seeing wether you're in a good mood or not.

If you reply with an 'okay bob, pick me up in 20' then there's no need to buy an extra cup, if you reply with quite a dry text he's bringing one just in case and giving it to Mark if you don't need it. However if you're responding with swear words and angry emojis it's time to rush and get that coffee you need.

It became like this for a while, that is, until exams started. He noticed how moody and tired you got, constantly buying coffee without even having to see or ask. But now that you're a lot busier he's picking you up and giving you coffee and a grilled cheese, having a donut for himself.

Ever since then you two would just spend breakfast in the car, talking while eating and maybe even getting up earlier to just chill in the school parking lot to eat before class started, but only if you two are feeling extra energized.

This is a habit he realizes he has, and he actually likes because it reminds him of how he asked you to become his girlfriend in his car one time when you went to the school parking lot at 5 in the morning. That's a hour and a half earlier than you usually go to, and you two watched as the sun raised in the trunk of his car.

At that time, you decided to get grocery store ice cream tubs instead, you had a sudden crave that Donghyuck agreed to. You got a bit of ice cream at the corner of your lip, and Donghyuck decided that was the perfect opportunity to pull a clique little ' "you got a little bit there" and then proceeds to kiss you.' Yeah you failed your Math test that day because you were so distracted.

Your coffee felt warm in your hands, but the cold early morning wind nipped at your skin at the same time, urging you to take a sip from the paper cup once again. The only thing warm besides the hot coffee in your hand was Donghyuck, who sat close next to you to produce some warmth. Which was dumb because you had ice cream waiting to be devoured handing in a plastic bag in front of the semi-broken air conditioning to stay cool.

Donghyuck glanced behund him to see how the ice cream was doing, sighing when he sees no changes in the ice cream, the AC must’ve broken already. “Hey, ice cream’s melting, better eat it now before you have to drink it from a plastic bag.” He nudges at your thigh.

You nod, hopping off the trunk to go get the ice cream. Quickly stealing ut from the driver’s seat, you hurry back to Donghyuck for warmth, handing him his own ice cream. “Thanks,” he takes the cold treat from your hand, opening the cap open and sticking his spoon into the tub. He had a napoleon flavored tub of ice cream, while you got Rocky Road.

Though the AC of Donghyuck’s car was broken and some of the ice cream melted, the closer you get to the middle the more you realize it’s still frozen. “Damn dude, that’s a whole glacier.” Donghyck commented, eating a spoon of his own ice cream. You suddenly stop trying to destroy the frozen block of ice, “Yo have you heard how David Attenborough says glacier?”

“...what?”

“Dude we’re gonna watch ‘our planet’ later on today, I can’t believe you haven’t heard him say glacier!” You say as you stab your spoon into your ice cream, successfully breaking the bug block of ice. You scoop a big spoonful and shove it messily in your mouth, slurping when some dripped down your lips.

Donghyuck pursed his lips at the sight of the sticky treat stucking to the corner of your lips, putting his tub down, “You got a little bit there,” he points to yor mouth. Eyes widening, you blinly search for the ice cream around your mouth. Donghyuck stops you from wiping your mouth with your sleeve, taking it to his lap.

You’re about to protest, when Donghyuck catches your words in his lips. It takes you a few moments, but you kiss back, tasted the slight strawberry ice cream that stuck to his lips and tongue, and you’ve never loved how it tasted as much as this. He quickly pulled away, licking he remains of your ice cream off his lips.

“The fuck was that?”

“I really like you.”

————————————————————————————————————————

Waiting for you to dry his hair

This habit came about one night when he came put the shower in shorts and a big t-shirt, his towel plopped lazily on his hair. He came back home from working out with Renjun, and he subconsciously layed down on the couch right next to you.

He shoved his wet hair with the towel on your lap, and you being you, you stared to dry it for him. At that time Donghyuck felt great, it was like you were some kind of human form of a hairdryer.

Donghyuck plopped doen next to you in the couch, water dripping onto the couch. You purse your lips, looking up to Donghyuck’s wet hair, “You gonna dry it?” Your boyfriend nods, patting the green towel on top of his head. You laugh when observing the towel, it’s the one you giften to him for his 18th birthday. There was a small frog peeking out at the corner and Donghyuck adored it.

The boy sighs, suddenly resting his head on your thighs. You assume he wants you to do it, so you gently start tot rub the top of his head with the material. Donghyuck peeks one eye open in surprise, humming im delight when you start to run your fingers through his damp hair. You grin at his reaction, bringing the towel uo to dry the ends of his hair.

You carefully dance your palms against his cheeks, making sure you don’t press too hard. Donghyuck turns his head to the side, placing a peck onto the pad of your thumb, as a gesture of thanks, you guess, and you kiss his cheek in return.

It’s evenings like this he longs, just calming moments with each other before all the stress comes and drowns you two. Just the most simple gestures warms his heart and awakens the knowledge that everything is going to be alright.

You continue your work peacefully, soon massaging his scalp and fluffing his hair up. Donghyuck let’s out a breath of relief, burying his head to your stomach. The material of the sweater you use is somehow so comforting, almost lulling him to sleep.

You run your hands through his head one more time, before grabbing the frog towel and ruffle his hair softly, “There we go, all nice and fluffy.” You mumble, fiddling with the short hairs on the nape of his neck. Donghyuck looks back up at you, a little smile soon appearing on his lips. He reaches up, pecking you shortly, before completely falling asleep on your lap.

Since then Donghyuck has always waited for you to come find him with damp hair and the frog towel, innocently asking you to dry it. Unbeknownst to him, you absolutely adore drying and taking care of his hair, it showed that he trusted you enough to let you do whatever you wanted. And plus, his hair was just really soft and you love playing with it.

There was this one time you came back home after a long day of hanging out with your friends and as soon as you opened the door Donghyuck attacted you with hugs and shoving his wet hair into your neck, inviting you to come in and dry it for him. As much as it was a habit, he likes to say it’s a silent agreement, which you agreed to as well.

————————————————————————————————————————

Going out with comfortable clothes

When it comes to Donghyuck, he used to want to go out looking extravagant and show stopping, with style that wpuld have everyone staring at him, but after hanging out with you countless of times, he soon chose to wear sweaters and sandals when going out with you.

The first time he went out in comfortable clothes he felt more confident, which he thought was really strange because if you look better you should feel better as well, right?

“Hyuck have you seen my-“ You walk into Donghyuck’s room, surprised to see him wearing skinny jeans and a leather jacket, your cheeks slowly heating up. “Seen what, babe?” He asked, adjusting the collar of his jacket. He turns in confusion when you don’t reply, eyes widening when he notices you’re only in leggings and one of his hoodies.

“What?” Donghyuck asks, tilting his head at your flustered form. You snap out of your daze, meeting Donghyuck’s eyes, “H-huh? Oh- no- uh you just seem really dressed, I mean we’re going grocery shopping, right?” Hyuck nods, shrugging, “Yeah, that’s why I’m all dressed up... do I not look good?”

You shake your head, and point a finger at him, “No, you look really good. It’s just- what’s better than feeling confident comfortably? And besides, you’re already hot! What’s more boyfriend material than the classic hoodie and sweats?” You reassure, patting Donghyuck’s cheeks.

The young adult smirks, reaching out to catch the swinging hoodie drawstrings on his hoodie you wore, “Should we match then? Wearing my hoodies?” You look down and recognize the piece of clothing as in fact, Donghyuck’s, sheepishly looking up and mumbling a small apology.

That afternoon Donghyuck didn’t think abour how he looked, he didn’t care what people thought, he was confident comfortably next to you, he felt like he was the luckiest person in the world just because he had you to reassure him and hype him up.

After that, whenever he goes out, whether it’s with you or with his friends, he goes out in comfort and not quality, why would he want to attract attention when he has endless amounts right at home where you were?

In the beginning that was the reason, but after some time being comfortable brought out his true personalities and he became so much happier. He was often self conscious and insecure, but his friends and family, including you, were always there to stop him from doubting himself. And now he feels carefree and unbothered to the worlds opinions, which made all his loved ones proud.

————————————————————————————————————————

Good morning and good night kisses

This habit developed after you craved a good morning kiss one day, which made Donghyuck completely melt and give you multiple morning, afternoon, evening, and night kisses. It was just one whole day with Hyuck’s lips either in yours or your skin. Very blissful and has to be your favorite part of the day.

When you wake up, the first thing you see is Hyuck’s bare and beautiful sunkissed face, and you couldn’t be happier to wake up to this. He seems to be scrolling through twitter, one arm thrown under your head. Your arms looping around his waist informed him that you were awake, and he smiled at you dearly.

You lift it, so then he can retract his arm comfortably, but instead Donghyuck bends his elbow and drags you closer. You smile and stay right there, savoring the moment as it is rare, Donghyuck usually has to go to work really early in the morning.

Nothing could be more perfect for you, his smiling face, the peaceful morning, warm atmosphere, it just couldn’t get any better than this. But there was one thing you really wanted to try with Donghyuck.

You pucker your lips out dramatically to him, which grazes his cheek and jaw, “Good morning kiss,” you mumble through pulled lips. Your boyfriend laughs at the sight, throwing his head back into the headboard. You stop puckering yor lips, eyebrows furrowed in frustration, “What?”

“You’re absolutely adoreable!” Donghyuck cooed, squishing your face with his hands. You grimace once he doesn’t give you a kiss, turning around turning away from him pettily. Your boyfriend laughs at your disappointment, climbing over your body and flopping to the other side, “Hello,” he mumbles right into your face.

You grumble back a greeting, closing your eyes and pushing your face into the pillow in hopes to make Hyuck feel guilty. It obviously doesn’t work, because a smile is itching to pull your lips up when he glides his finger’s up your shirt to tickle your sides. You stifle in a scream of giddiness, and grab Donghyuck’s hands, and then fail as his fingers graze your stomach.

“HYUCK! OKAY PLEASE HYUCK STOPPPP!” You are now pushing Donghyuck’s shoulders away from your body, but keep going down to your body to shield it, you don’t know what to do, push or defend. In the end you only laugh and giggle, screaming Donghyuck’s name.

He eases down the tickling when he sees tears streaming down your pulled cheeks, his own smile shining. You stop laughing, your cheekbones sore frim all the smiling, and yet you still muster a small smile to Donghyuck. He aoftens and melts when you start to play and run your fingers through his hair, leaning into your touch.

“So are you gonna give me that kiss or not?” You ask quietly. Hyuck smiles and lowers his head to lean his forehead oto yours, “Only if I get to give you afternoon, evening, and night kisses as well.” And with a lift of your head your morning wish is granted, and a bad sleep schedule for Hyuck is born.

That kiss changed his routine completely, wasting arohnd a total of an hour just for kissing you. Which actually resulted into a really bad sleep schedule that even you comolain about, but despite loosing sleep, it’s worth stealing a lot more kisses from you, and he’s a lot happier.

#neoturtles #lee donghyuck fluff #lee haechan #lee donghyuck imagines #nct 127 imagines #nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream x reader #nct fluff #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct x reader #lee donghyuck #nct 127 #nct 2020

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simpsiren · 4 years

Text

jaehyun x reader

description. A relationship with Jaehyun wasn’t always perfect. There wasn’t a definite label on it, which only sent the relationship down a complicated pathway as we tried to find the meaning of our love once again.

genre. ANGST, college!au, enemies(?) to lovers, dancer!reader x barista!jaehyun

word count. 7k~

warnings. toxic relationship, im so sorry i had to make jaehyun a bad boy here BUT IT HAS A GOOD ENDING I SWEAR

a/n. hihiii so this fic is basically based on using lyrics of a song to form a story and for mine ill be using boyfriend by ariana grande so hope youll enjoyy! please check out the other stories by the other authors here too!!

“I don't wanna be too much

But I don't wanna miss your touch

And you don't seem to give a fuck”

It’s been weeks. Weeks since I’ve talked to Jaehyun. Weeks since I’ve made any form of interaction with him. Weeks since I had his body close to mine.

He’s been ignoring me and yet I still can never guess why. I saw him walking out of his Psychology class today. I put my foot down, determined to settle on the decision that I just have to force it out of him instead of floating around mindlessly trying to dissect and figure out his weird attitude.

He walked down the hallway, bag lazily hung on one shoulder. He wore his black hoodie and grey sweatpants. His messy and unkept hair bouncing in the air with each step he took. It meant that he’s had a bad morning. I knew him long enough to know that if he doesn’t put effort into looking good then it meant that he wasn’t having any of it. I did think twice before approaching him. But he has left me in the dust for too long for me to handle.

“Jaehyun.” I said with a firm voice, running up to him and grabbing his arm tightly. He stopped in his tracks, his head turning slowly as his eyes trailed from my grip and to me. “What?” Jaehyun asked, sounding annoyed with his brows furrowed and narrowed eyes.

“What? That’s all you have to say?” I jerked my head forward, copying his same expression except that mine was intensified with how arrogant is What sounded. “Three fucking weeks. And that’s all you have to say?”

Jaehyun shook his arm to get off of my grip. Due to the force of his strength, I stumbled back slightly. He folded his arms, hands hugging his waist as he glanced down with a sigh and looked at me. “What do you want me to say?”

I scoffed loudly, running a hand filled with frustration through my hair. I adjusted my tote bag on my shoulder before standing firm and upright in my spot.

“An explanation on why the fuck you’re ignoring me would be nice, you know.” Jaehyun smacked his lips, almost in an awkward manner. But he kept silent for at least ten seconds, just staring down at me.

“I have nothing to explain.” Jaehyun finally let out dryly. But in a way it sounded like he was mad. My pupils flared. Rage was starting to build up in me while he kept up his nonchalant attitude. Jaehyun shoved his hands in his sweatpants and walked off. I would have stopped him, but I chose not to.

I didn’t want to annoy too much if I asked him again. All I wanted was to know why he kept ignoring me all this time. But it seemed like he didn’t care. Like he was able to erase me cleanly out of his life, ignoring me completely. He avoided my glances in class, he acted as if he didn’t hear anything when I called out to him and he’d walk past me casually as if nothing between us happened.

I stood there, staring at his back as his figure started to get smaller and further till he turned a corner and disappeared. I balled a fist in my hand, squeezing it so tight that my fingernails made an impression on my skin and having red marks on my palm.

To be honest, as much as I was mad at him, I missed him a whole lot more. I missed having his arms around me, I missed his whispers, I missed my fingers running through his soft locks. I missed his touch. I didn’t know I could be this touch-deprived till he ignored me. I walked back to my dorm, specifically Mark’s so that I could let off some steam.

“Wait like actually?” Mark shouted from the kitchen while he took out the large tub of strawberry ice cream and watermelon slices from the fridge.

I screamed into the pillow more, digging my face into it till I finally lifted my head up and took in a deep breath, turning my head sharply to Mark. “Yeah. Can you believe it?!” I shouted back, watching Mark bringing the desserts and taking a seat next to me. I shoved the pillow beside me and slumped into the couch with folded arms.

“I never thought he’d do something like that. He’s always been kind to me. And everyone.” Mark commented, picking up and watermelon slice and munching on it with a dreamy sigh. I huffed, grabbing the ice cream angrily and picking up the spoon, shoving it in forcefully to take a spoonful and eating it. “Not to me apparently.” I said with rolled eyes.

“We were completely fine before. I don’t know what happened and that’s what’s driving me insane!” I groaned out. After forcing Mark to get me ice cream, I thought my anger would subside at least a tiny bit. But having Jaehyun running circles in my mind has done it for me. Isn’t mind Jaehyun suppose to be the tired one here?

“Ah wait!” I alerted Mark, gaping my mouth open as I quickly turned my head to him. Mark does the same with raised brows. “Huh what? You know why he’s ignoring you?” Mark tilted his head and leaned in with curiosity.

I shook my head furiously, making Mark backed his head till his double chin showed. “Then what?”

“The dance assignment! Shit I forgot! Did you start?” I dropped the tub in my lap amd slapped Mark’s thigh vigorously, starting to get panicky as I remembered the assignment I’m suppose to pass up in a month’s time. Mark gave a half-shrug. “I’m doing solo for this one. Have you not started?”

“No! Urgh I can’t do solos. Is there anyone that wants a duet?” Mark puckered his lips, tilting his head up as he thought about it for a moment. “How about Taeyong?” He suggested. I looked at him with disbelief.

“Um hello? It’s Lee Taeyong. I’m pretty sure he’s doing solo. Even if he were to do a duet, all the girls would be fighting for the spot next to him.” I reached forward to pick up a watermelon slice and shoving it in my mouth despite the fact that I still had a little ice cream in my mouth.

“You never know. Just ask him next practice.” I let out a quiet ‘tsk’ I stared down at the table while I slowly chewed and swallowed all the food in my mouth. At least now I had something to do that can hopefully get my mind off Jaehyun.

“And I might not be the one for you

But you ain't about to have no boo.”

During dance theory in the lecture hall, I kept my eyes on Taeyong, who was sitting in the center a few rows lower than me. I rested my chin on the palm of my hand, head facing him and I pondered about how I can master up the courage to talk to him.

He’s the best dancer among all dance majors. From techniques to theory, he’s gotten perfect scores every time. It felt somewhat wrong for me to talk to someone of a high status like that. And of course his talent and visuals has had girls swooning over him for years.

I snapped back to reality when I reallse everyone started to pack and stand up from their seat. I blinked my eyes rapidly as I looked around before turning back to Taeyong, heaving a sigh as I notice him still standing there. I quickly packed up my things, slinging my tote bag on and rushing down the flight of stairs to where Taeyong was.

I was now standing in front of him, his bright red hair standing out while he kept his eyes on his things while packing up. “Taeyong?” I called out softly, bending forward. He finally lifted his head up. “Hi?” He asked, questionably.

“Um I was wondering what you’re planning to do for the assignment.” Taeyong glanced sideways before meeting my eyes. As I stared at him, I really now could see why all girls fall in love with him. I’ve never seem to notice since I’ve always been caught up with Jaehyun.

“Actually I’m-”

“It’s fine if you have another person to do duet with you. I’m sure you’ve got a lot of options and that’s totally fine I understand-”

“I didn’t even finish my sentence.” Taeyong cut me off with a light chuckle, a small smile forming on his face. He was so attractive. “Oh right sorry.” I blurted out, turning my head to the side and rubbing the back of my neck nervously.

“I was saying that I haven’t thought about what I wanted to do yet.” Taeyong stood up, holding his bag in his fingers with the handle. He was so close to me and I got extremely terrified with his height. Though the gap difference wasn’t much. I guess I’m just intimidated by his presence. “Mark recommended that we should team up.” I finally let out, forcing myself to not beat around the bush anymore to get this done and over with.

Taeyong’s smile got a whole lot brighter and bigger till his eyes form a thin line. “Sure! Been doing solos too much and you’re quite good.” I couldn’t believe what I just heard. Firstly, he said yes. Secondly, he noticed me dance before? I mean of course we saw everyone dancing but I never imagined Taeyong to actually look at me dances.

“Wait really?! Oh my God thank you! Um so do you have any classes after this?” I bounced on the ball of my feet excitedly, a smile unconsciously forming on my lips. Taeyong shook his head. “You want to start today?” I nodded my head eagerly.

“Alright. Let’s head to the dance studio. We only have one month left.”

Due to the limited time we had, it forced Taeyong and I to have dance practices almost everyday, particularly every night. We’d either use the dance studio and his own one out of campus that wasn’t far away. I started to bond with Taeyong more and more, realising how sweet and soft he was despite looking so intimidating at first. I liked the time I spent with Taeyong. He was able to make it fun for us even though we’d be laying on the floor dying by the end.

One practice, Taeyong and I just finished cleaning up our choreography that Taeyong was expertly able to come up by the third practice. It became normal for us to just lay down, arms and legs spread out on the floor as we stared up at the ceiling and let out loud and heavy breathing be heard.

That is, until my phone rang.

“You should get that.” Taeyong rolled over, his stomach on the floor while he kept his upper body up with the support of his elbows and forearm on the floor. I sighed, frowning. “I can’t be bothered to move.” The phone’s been ringing for minutes now.

Taeyong chuckled and stood up after taking in a deep breath, reaching his hand out to my bag and sliding me my phone. “Thanks.” I muttered as Taeyong sat down beside our bags to grab his drink.

I looked at the caller, instantly sitting up straight when I reallsed it’s Jaehyun. My sudden actions caused Taeyong to let out a, “Who’s calling?” I assumed he examined my shocked expression after asking that as I kept my eyes on the phone, Jaehyun’s name bolden on my screen.

I then remembered the fact that I blocked his contact a few months back and it had a time limit on it. And I guess the limit ended today.

“I’m picking up the call. And if I start screaming, you might want to run. Cause’ I’m about to get a lil bit psychotic.” Despite my warning, Taeyong let out a humorous laugh, nodding his head in response. “Alright, alright.” He said, waving his hand out lazily as a way to say, “Now go pick up the call.”

One click of a button and I brought my phone up to my ear, hearing Jaehyun’s heavy breathing. “Where the fuck are you?” His voice was low and deep, one filled with anger, but not the shouting kind. “I’m at a dance studio...?”

“Yeah and with who?” Jaehyun growled. I turned my head to the mirror, seeing Taeyong looking at my back. “With Taeyong. So what?” I questioned him, wanting to sound nonchalant.

Jaehyun scoffed in amusement. “At two in the morning?! You serious right now?!” His voice raised with each word, he was now screaming and I began to get scared. “How’s this your problem?! I’m practicing for my assignment with Taeyong. What the hell did you think I was doing!” I couldn’t help but shout back, wanting to fight and top his level of rage and anger. I had the right to be mad since he ignored me for so long. But for him to suddenly care about what I do and who I’m with? That wasn’t going to cut it for me.

“I don’t give a damn. I’m picking you up right now. Tell me your location.”

“No! We’re not done practicing!” I lied, groaning as I leaned forward and placed a hand on my forehead to cover my eyes.

“Practice another day-”

I didn’t notice Taeyong creeping up behind me, flinching when I felt his hand on my wrist, pulling my phone away from my ear. He snatched it out of my grip and held the phone to his ear. “You heard her. We’re still practicing. I don’t why you’re so worked up. But you can speak with her tomorrow. Have a good night now.” Taeyong sounded extremely professional, proceeding to end the call and handing my phone back.

“You didn’t have to...” Taeyong sat down beside me and sighed, the two of us now facing the mirror as we stared at ourselves. “I didn’t want you to go psychotic.” He joked, making me laugh slightly, though it hurt my core due to the physical training we did before actually practicing.

“Is that your boyfriend or something?” He sounded curious. I kept silent, looking up as I try to phrase who Jaehyun was to me. But I ended up with no answer. “I don’t know. We’re just... complicated.” I whispered. “Let’s not talk about Jaehyun. I’m getting sick of it.”

Absentmindedly, or perhaps not, I laid my head slowly onto Taeyong’s shoulder. He didn’t move and instead stayed there as comfortable silence filled the air, not giving a thought about our sweaty bodies touching each other.

Biology lecture ended. I was walking out of the hall when I thought of texting Taeyong to see if I could meet him for a short practice. I didn’t know why, I just wanted to see him and do anything with him, it didn’t have to be practicing.

Before I could even type a single letter, my wrist was suddenly being pulled back from behind, making me fall back a few steps till the grip guided me to stand. I looked up, seeing Jaehyun standing in front of me. Immediately, my eyes looked back at him filled with arrogance. “Why were you with Taeyong yesterday?” Jaehyun asked. Suddenly, his eyes grew soft and sweet. Which made me very surprised. It’s been long since I’ve seen the sweet side of Jaehyun before he ignored me. It made me feel something in my stomach indeed.

“I told you I had practice. I’m doing a duet with him for my assignment.” I said with a quiet sigh. Jaehyun ran a hand down his face, biting his lower lip as he looked away for a moment. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry... for getting worked up. I shouldn’t have since it’s for school.”

I clicked my tongue in amusement, smugly folding my arms and placing my weight on one leg. “An apology but no explanation? You’re an odd one Jaehyun...”

“We need to have a proper chat.” I tilted my head slightly at his weird words. Confused, but also nervous as to what he wanted to talk about.

We ended up going to his dorm. His roommate was out. We sat down on the couch together, his body leaning forward to reveal his back while I leaned back into the couch. There was a gap between us, which made me feel weird. The space in between was just... just there. And the fact that we used to cuddle on this couch made this more awkward.

“So?” I asked, my curiosity already killing me. Jaehyun let out a frustrated sigh. “I think we should just cut whatever we have completely.”

“What...?” I didn’t know what else to say. I wasn’t sure what to feel either. I could tell he was breaking down silently. I didn’t even need to look twice to confirm that. But I was breaking at his words as well, looking down to my lap amd biting my bottom lip. “Why?”

“I don’t know what we are,_____. Are we friends? Cause’ from the way we treat each other we’re definitely not. We aren’t in a relationship together either. We aren’t friends with benefits. We’re going back and forth and I’m sure you’re as tired about this as I am.”

As much as I wanted to deny, I couldn’t. Our relationship and what we were to each other was certainly not definite. It always confused me and put me in a tough spot. The way we treated one another was as if we’re in love. Maybe we were, or maybe we weren’t. Questions about us had always kept me up all night. And I guess it is right that we just cut it off completely.

“You’re right. I don’t see why we should be together. Or not. I don’t fucking know.” I stood up, making my way to the door. I had my hand on the doorknob. At that moment, I didn’t want to leave. I wanted everything to go back to normal. To when I would be in Jaehyun’s lap as we talked for hours, his turn table playing old school songs that I’ve never heard of but grew to like. To when we would go out together and do whatever we wanted till late at night. Basically back to when any of this confusion even happened.

“You still haven’t told me why you completely shut me out for three months straight though. It hurt me. You owe me an explanation soon. Goodbye, Jung Jaehyun.”

“I wanna kiss you, don't wanna miss you

But I can't be with you 'cause I got issues.”

Jaehyun could only seat there in silence, not sure of what to do now. His mind went blank the moment the door closed. He felt his phone vibrating in his back pocket. He leaned forward to take it out, proceeding to pick up the phone without even looking at the caller.

“Hey.” Jaehyun said plainly. He heard a few shuffling before someone comes up to the phone, their breathing could be heard. “Jae. I need to see you. Now. It’s urgent.” He recognised the familiar voice immediately.

“Soo? Why are you calling me?” Out of all the people that could’ve called him, she was the one that Jaehyun would least expect a call from. Let alone one that he wanted to hear from either. “A matter we can’t discuss on the phone. You know where to meet. In ten minutes.” The call quickly ended.

Jaehyun raised a brow at this. Many questions and possibilities popped up in his head. He quickly dashed out the dorm after grabbing his necessities, wanting to get this done and over with.

He waited by the park. A place that he and soo have had many memories. Ones that he wish to forget. But upon his visit to the park, of course they all had to come crashing back in his mind.

Soo came and motioned him to sit down on the bench that faced the lake. The dark sky being reflected on the lake’s surface as the cold breeze of the night touched their skin. “It’s about us.”

“There’s nothing between us.” Jaehyun was quick to reply, wishing he could just get out of this situation and think over about his other problems. Particularly the one about his complicated love life with a partner that he wasn’t even sure was his partner in the first place.

“Our parents are suspicious of us, Jae. You say that us not meeting anyone would solve it but if they don’t see us together-”

“It’s been three months do you think I wouldn’t realise it?” Jaehyun leaned forward and covered his face with both his hands, exhaling before lifting his head up back and looking at the scenery, hoping it’ll put him at ease even the slightest bit.

“You don’t want this. I don’t want this either. I have my own problems you know. I have someone I love.” Soo nodded her head, humming agreeably. “You’re right. We both don’t want this. But our parents do.”

Jaehyun groaned in annoyance, turning his head back to look at her. Soo blinked her eyes rapidly. She’s never seen him this mad before. “I know that way too damn well.” Jaehyun slapped his thighs and stood up, shoving his hands in his pocket and turning around swiftly to Soo.

“I don’t care what you do. You have a higher status than me and therefore you have a higher chance and authority for our parents to listen to you. Tell them I’m sorry but I really don’t want to be tied down to someone I don’t love.”

With that, Jaehyun stomped off, making his way back to the dorm. He immediately plopped himself onto his bed, sighing and he stared up the window. The couldn’t stop thinking about his lover. The fact that he couldn’t explain to her made his heart breal in every way possible.

He jusy wanted to be with her. But it was now his fault that she hates him now. And he’s not sure of what to do. The fact that he had to call off whatever they had couldn’t be anymore painful.

He wanted her with him right now. To have her presence right next to him. His arm wrapped around her as a way to protect her small figure from the world though he knew well enough that she was capable on her own. He wanted to plant light and sweet kisses filled with love all over her face. He wanted her touch of love that could send electric shocks throughout his body. He just missed her so.

“Even though you ain't mine, I promise the way we fight make me honestly feel like we just in love

'Cause baby, when push comes to shove.”

It’s been a few days since Jaehyun and I called it quits. And honestly, I was falling apart. I missed him a lot. It felt weird not having him around. It felt like back when he ignored me for three months. Except now the anger has disappeared, and all I craved for was his presence.

“The performance and assessment’s tomorrow. You ready?” Taeyong asked, breathing heavily as he walked to the speaker to stop the music. I squatted down on the floor, hugging my knees to catch my breath before gulping and nodding my head. “I’m surprised we managed to do this in a month despite our professor giving us four.” Taeyong nodded back agreeably.

“Let’s just hope we do well tomorrow then.” Taeyong walked back to me with his hands shoved in his pockets. I eyed him up and down taking the time to admire his outfit, which was simply just a tucked out loose white button under a muted blue waistcoat and black jeans and pointed shoes. The blue waistcoat was just to match his light blue hair that he dyed recently that suited him very well.

“Your outfit is simple, yet so pleasing.” I mumbled, my finger placed under my chin. Taeyong chuckled, taking one step closer to me. For some reason it made my heart race, the space between us got smaller and smaller unintentionally. “It’s probably because of my physique and natural features.”

Taeyong bent down to meet my eye level, tilting his head as he gave his cheeky eye smile that I got used to seeing very quickly. I ruffled his hair and laughed loudly. “Of course it is. You’ll definitely outshine me tomorrow.”

Taeyong slipped a hand around my waist, pulling me closer. This was definitely normal since our choreography included him doing this, but it made my face hot this time. “The purpose of a duet is to help each other shine together. I don’t think I’ll ever be outshining you.” Taeyong commented softlt with a gentl smile.

It was finally time for the performance. Everyone at the hall was seated, murmurs and chatters can be heard all over. Backstage, everyone was rushing to get ready. But I couldn’t help but peek at our professors and dance instructors that were about to grade us from behind the curtains.

“Nervous?” I heard Taeyong’s voice from behind me as he placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. I glanced back before taking in a deep breath. “We’re the fifth to go. Calm your nerves.” This time, he placed his other than on my other shoulder, proceeding to rub his hands up and down slowy and soothingly, which instantly calm me down. “I’m trying.” I whispered.

The two of us waited anxiously backstage as we counted the number of performers going up on stage. Now’s already the forth and we’re up next. Our names got called. Before we headed up on stage, Taeyong held my hand, interlocking his fingers with mine for a short moment before flashing me a smile and letting go, proceeding to walk forward as I followed behind.

The music played and we started to perform. The lights on the audience shined brightly and I could see everyone’s faces. Of course to calm myself down I kept my eyes straight ahead. Everything went as how it should. Taeyong and I danced perfectly in sync as if we were made to dance together. Taeyong had to lift me up for a few counts, holding me by the waist. And one glance to the audience and I instantly saw Jaehyun sitting somewhere in the middle, his eyes looking right at me. I was shocked but I had to continue.

We ended the performance with a deep bow. I smiled widely at the audience, but I avoided Jaehyun’s eyes completely. Taeyong and I walked off stage. “That’s was amazing! You did so well!” Taeyong shouted as he pulled me into a tight hug. I hugged back and laughed, panting heavily as I tried to catch me breath. “You were great too, Taeyong.”

Taeyong pulled away from me. And as we were about to walk to the changing room, I felt a hold on my wrist. A tight one. I turned around, noticing Jaehyun right in front of me. He looked over at Taeyong before me. He didn’t say a word and dragged me away. I glanced back at Taeyong, his worried eyes making me want to release my grip off Jaehyun but I knew I can never since he was way too strong.

“What the hell do you want?!” I shouted when we finally came to a stop at a secluded and somewhat dark corner. “I can’t see you dance with Taeyong. I got jealous.”

My eyes squinted at his words, completely confused and bewildered. My mouth gaped open as I let out a scoff. “Jealous? Why should you be? We aren’t anything anymore. What’s my relationship with Taeyong have anything to do with you?”

“I don’t like seeing you with him, okay? Didn’t you ever think about how I felt when you’re always staying up late with him for practice? Or did you even think about me at all?” I grew quiet, struggling to even form a sentence of what to say.

“I don’t like seeing you with any guy.”

“You aren’t my boyfriend. You don’t have any say in who I hang out with.”

It was now his turn to keep silent, avoiding my eyes completely as he looked elsewhere. “You aren’t mine. But don’t you think we had something between us at all? It drives me nuts whenever I think of you. I had my reasons for avoiding you, okay?”

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “Sorry but I can’t handle any of this right now. I’m way too tired. Let’s talk some other time.”

With that, I walked off, trying to find Taeyong who just came out of the changing room with his outfit hung on his arm while he wore back his loose white tee and sweatpants. “You okay? I got worried.” Taeyong immediately rushed over to me and looked me up and down, concerned as to what happened just now.

“Yeah I am. I’ll go back to campus now. I just need some rest.”

Before taking a step, Taeyong stopped me. “Need a ride?” I shook my head.

“Thanks for the offer, but I much rather be on my own for now. I have too much on my mind.”

“I know we be so complicated

Lovin' you sometime drive me crazy

'Cause I can't have what I want and neither can you.”

I ended up staying late at night, staring off into the ceiling while hugging my cat plushie. And all I thought about was Jaehyun. I could never get him off my mind no matter how hard I tried to force myself to sleep. I could be staying up since I didn’t have classes the next day but my body was too physically tired. Yet my mental state seemed to be wide awake.

The next morning, I stayed in my dorm, pacing back and forth in circles as I figure out what to do. Suddenly, the door opened, making me flinch in shock as I realised it was just Mark. “You look stressed. You nervous about the results?”

“My mind is all over the place, Mark. Jaehyun’s driving me crazy and I just-” I grabbed my head with both my hands, letting out a loud groan and I plopped myself on my bed next to Mark.

“Won’t it be easier to just settle things with him?” I gave Mark and unimpressed look. “We did. We promised to not see each other again.” I let out a dreaded sigh. “But he came up to me yesterday and now all I can think about is him.”

Mark swung an arm around me, clearing his throat. “Then just tell him to back off. Now and forever. I can’t see my friend going crazy because of some frat boy.” I chuckled shaking my head. “He’s not a frat boy.”

“Sure acts like one.”

I hummed, giving a moment to think it over. “How can I meet him today though? He’s working.” Mark raised a brow, facepalming. “You know he has a thing called breaks, right?” Mark deadpanned. And just like that, I made my way to the cafe where Jaehyun supposedly worked the afternoon shift.

I walked in, the bell above the door ringing to signal that someone has entered. I didn’t see Jaehyun brewing the coffee. I walked up to the counter, seeing a familiar face and decided to ask him where Jaehyun was.

“Hey, Jeno?” I called out to him gently, watching pouring his ready made coffee into a small cup. He looked up, instantly smiling brightly when he made eye contact. “Hey! Haven’t seen you for so long! Looking for Jaehyun?” I nodded, gladly thankful that he read my mind.

“He went out somewhere for awhile. He’s coming back soon. Want to wait here while I serve you some caremel frappe?” I exhanged his smile with mine, nodding my head eagerly. “You know me well, Lee Jeno.” I tapped my hand on the counter before walking off, taking my usual seat at the far corner of the cafe that’s out of sight from public eyes. I used to sit here when I would wait for Jaehyun’s shift to end before walking back to campus. It felt weird coming back here after avoiding it for so long.

After a few minutes, Jeno brings me my drink. I thanked him as he backed away and I resumed my waiting. I checked the time on my phone. Thirty minutes have passed and he’s still not here. Each time the bell rang, I instantly lift my head up only to find that it wasn’t Jaehyun.

Heaving a sigh, I leaned forward, my shoulder raising up as I continued to stare at the entrance. Finally, I saw Jaehyun through the window, walking to the door. But... he’s with a girl?

The door opened and Jaehyun walked in, the girl close beside him. She was wearing Jaehyun’s hoodie too. The plain black that he often wears. I kept silent, wanting to see where all this was going. Why was I feeling something? I shouldn’t be... right? I have nothing to do with Jaehyun, let alone his love life. Wait why am I even assuming that they’re together?

Jaehyun went up to the counter. He turned around to look at the girl. They were smiling and laughing together, which made the knots in my stomach tighter and my heart began to ache at the sight. As cliche as it sounds, I muttered a, “That should be me.”

The girl took off his hoodie. She was wearing a shirt under it. It seemed like she wanted to give it back but Jaehyun insisted on her keeping it, continuously shoving the hoodie back and forth till she threw it at him, kissed him on the cheek and ran out the cafe laughing. I frowned. I really didn’t like how this was going.

Jeno went up to Jaehyun, motioning to where I was seated. I instantly looked out the window as if I didn’t even see Jaehyun coming in and was minding my business. I heard his heavy footsteps walking up to me, and he sat down, dragging the chair closer to the table. “You didn’t say you’d be here.”

I turned my head and faced forward to Jaehyun, picking up my drink to take a sip, nodding my head. “I didn’t.”

“Who was she?”

I couldn’t help but ask. I was too eager to know. Too eager for something to confirm my suspicions, closure. “A friend.” Jaehyun said after exhaling sharply.

My lips form a thin line, my brows raising for a moment as I gave a “You sure about that?” expression with a hum. Jaehyun stared at me for a moment. I couldn’t read his face. “She’s just like Taeyong. Someone I’m working with for a project.” He said with simple directness.

Anger started to settle in, the tension between us growing tighter and tighter with each moment of silence in the air. “Your project partner comes waltzing in wearing your hoodie and giving you a kiss on the cheek? Some partner there.” I replied with sarcasm, nodding my head over and over.

Jaehyun cocked a brow, the side of his lips turning up slightly as he leaned forward, so close that our faces were a mere inch away from each other. “Now you’re jealous? That’s cute.” He chuckled lowly.

I blinked my eyes rapidly. Is he really going to do this right now? Despite me blushing slightly at him calling me cute. I couldn’t shake the fact that he was probably trying to get back at me and making me feel how be felt when I was with Taeyong.

“Why can’t I? You were jealous when I was with Taeyong too.” I blurted out, not sure if that was the right thing to say.

“You aren’t my girlfriend, and I’m not your boyfriend. But we can’t see each other with anyone else, or touch anyone else. We can’t have who we want either. Make an inference. Connection, hidden meaning.”

“Don’t bring the method to answering History questions into this.” I couldn’t help but laugh softly at his attempt to joke. I knew very well right now wasn’t the time, but I just missed it.

“Stress high when the trust low

Bad vibes, where'd the fun go?

Try to open up and love more.”

“Don’t you miss it?” Jaehyun asked, his face getting soft and gentle. He reached his hand out to mine, holding my finger with a light touch. Our eyes went down in unison, staring as our hands fit perfectly together.

“We’re complicated, indeed. We aren’t sure of who we are. And we don’t even know the reason for that. But doesn’t it all come down to whether we love each other...?” Jaehyun lowered his voice to a whisper, pur noses were now touching as I gulped, closing my eyes for a moment as I inhaled his naturally strong scent that not even his perfume could mask.

“I guess...” I started, breathing heavily. “I guess we’re just scared. I don’t know about you, but I can somewhat admit that I’m scared.”

“It’s been years, Jaehyun. Years since we’ve showed affection for each other yet we never seemed to get anywhere. But I liked it nonetheless. Despite the fact that we were just... stagnant.” I smacked my lips. “Or not perhaps I’d call it going back and forth.”

At that moment, I thought of us. Jaehyun and I. Years ago. When we first started. I met him here, at the cafe. I got addicted to him from first sight and I’d make it a mental note to visit him everyday and demand that only he should make and serve my orders. That’s how we grew close. Not on campus, but out. We kept our relationship like a little secret. But that was only for the fun of it; for excitement and thrill. I liked that about us. Being alone and only having each other. Turning back time was what I always wished I could do.

“I love you, _____. I missed us. When we were just happy. I guess this all started when I ignored you. I’m sorry for that. And you know I mean it.” Jaehyun couldn’t keep his eyes on me. He constantly looked down or avoided my gaze. He bit his lip intensely, as if trying to hold back tears.

“But if you would let me, I’ll explain it over dinner.” Jaehyun gulped, breathing in as his chest puffed up. I wasn’t quite sure of what to make of this. But in the end, my main goal was to settle this, on a good note. Whether I’d be with Jaehyun in the end or not. I just needed closure.

“Sure.”

Jaehyun offered to meet me at a high end restaurant. Somewhere I’ve never been in years since I was just like any regular college student. Poor.

I didn’t know what to wear. And I guess my outfit seemed to lower itself a lot when I stepped into the restaurant. I glazed my eyes over the place, spotting Jaehyun at the far end wearing his usual all black shirt, jeans, and shoes. A combination that never failed to cup his masculine body perfectly.

“You didn’t have to take me to somewhere this expensive.” I said, sitting down. Jaehyun smiled softly in greeting. “It’s only slightly above average.” He commented.

We ordered our food. It was taking quite awhile to come. “Um.. I suppose I should be giving that um explanation to you now.” Jaehyun spoke up, his hands on the table with his fingers interlocking with each other. I nodded my head, pushing the glass of iced water that was served to us earlier on, bringing it in front of me and leaning forward to take a sip.

“My parents want me and Soo, the girl you saw at the cafe to get together. I honestly didn’t even know why. And I never cared either.” Jaehyun lowered his head, fidgeting his fingers. “And just so you know, I never had feelings for Soo. She has someone else. The two of us agreed that we’d still maintain our private lifes and not let it interfere us.”

I bit my lower lip. I could tell he was telling the truth, that he was being sincere. It made my heart soften. But I didn’t want to show it. I didn’t want to seem easy and to just fall for him all over again just from a simple explanation.

“Are you going to do anything to fight back against your parents about it?” I asked, not wanting to say silent throughout.

“I simply told Soo to do something about it since she would have more influence on them than me.” Jaehyun leaned in, again his hand creept up on mine. He held my hand in his, bringing it up slowly and planting a light kiss on my fingertips. A gesture that I only ever knew would feel this amazing because its him. He was the only person I’ve met to have such a gentlemanly feature.

“Can we slowly... get back to how we were? I know it’s my fault. I know you won’t forgive me immediately. Do whatever you want with me. Whatever decision you choose, I’ll just have to accept it.” Jaehyun whispered, his voice growing quiet with each word as he looked down to my hand and caressed it with his thumb. I could still feel his kiss lingering on the tips of my fingers.

I brought my hand up to his chin, lifting his head up and eyes off the table, forcing him to look me in the eye. I leaned in and kissed his cheek, letting my lips stay there for a long moment before pulling away. I could see Jaehyun smiling slightly at my touch. He thought he could cover it up with a cough, making me giggle softly.

“I’m not forgiving you just yet. But I do admit that I missed how we were two years back.”

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thepoeticfox · 2 years

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The Best Pain Scale I Have Ever Used

(I'm sorry there's no image description. I don't have the spoons to handle typing this out right now. If someone else does I will so happily and gratefully reblog and pin it!)

This pain scale uses descriptions of how the pain is impacting your life. 1 is "Minimal: My pain is hardly noticeable" and 4 is "Moderate: I am constantly aware of my pain but can continue most activities" for example.

I have printed out several copies of this scale and I keep it on my phone at all times. It's not as subjective as the common scales. I would really like there to be a push to have this scale included in all offices. The smiley chart does have value, sure, but this descriptive scale helps a lot when you're a chronic pain patient.

For example, the #4 I mentioned is my personal baseline. I usually don't additional meds until pain is more disruptive for me. When I mention I'm having a bad pain day, I mean I've hit #8 which reads "Intense: my pain is so severe it is hard to think of anything else. Talking and listening are difficult." This is already past levels that specific having to give up many/most activities.

I am not the first to share this particular scale. I just want to share it again so it'll be a little fresher in the tags in case someone who hasn't seen it goes tag diving or maybe you need to download the image again bc you're on a different device.

#chronic illness tag #chronic pain tag #spoonie

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enviedear · 4 years

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secrets that you keep → peter parker

DESCRIPTION ⌙ in a consolation trip back to europe, the kids of midtown high are eager to have a normal vacation, finally. but you on the other hand are on a mission. something weird is going on with peter parker, and you’re going to figure it out.

PAIRING ⌙ peter parker x fem!reader

WORD COUNT ⌙ 2.4k

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“-smaller group than before, but we’ll still have fun guys. the tour company has made precautions for you kids. there will not be a repeat of last year.” mr. harrington babbles.

you sink lower into the bus seat. you did not want to be back in europe. truthfully you want to be anywhere but here. wherever, here, was. no one knew. cell service went out about five miles back and the bus driver didn’t speak english.

“yeah guys, don’t worry. this trip is going to be ten times worse than the last. it’s already started bad since we don't know where we ARE!” flash yells, running a hand down his face.

mr. harrington tries to calm him and the rest of the bus down, to no avail.

you block out the commotion and stare out of the bus window. grass, farm, cattle, shack, more grass, more farm. and not one single cell tower in sight. this is it, you think, this is how it ends, stranded in a foreign country with the most annoying people you’ve ever known.

“guys, GUYS! my service is back,” betty yelps. “it says we’re in wiveliscombe, and that it’s going to be three hours until we reach london.”

her words are met with groans.

“at least we have cell service now.” jokes peter parker, who’s sat in the seat across the aisle from you. he’s cute and nice, but weird. last year’s trip he had about a thousand excuses as to why he’d leave the group and if it happened this year, you were gonna figure out why. no matter what it took.

“mhm, and since we have access to the endless possibilities of the internet again, we don’t have to talk..” you huff.

“i.. sorry. i didn’t-” you cut him off by placing your earbuds back into your ears and turning the volume up.

something about peter irked your nerves in a way you couldn’t understand. maybe it was the way he knew fucking everything. maybe it was the way his body became incomprehensibly fit in such a short period of time. you really couldn’t understand that. even went as far as to do research on steroids, but found there was no way he could be using those. most probably it was the nonsense of his idiotic excuses. he might be able to fool everyone else, but not you. you knew there had to be something going on.

he and his stupid cute little brown curls, button nose, and six pack were under your firm watch.

by the time the bus reached the hotel the sun was beginning to set. jet lagged and in need of a long shower, you’re one of the first to fly into the hotel.

“It's me and you for the next week.” mj smiles, holding out a room key for you. truthfully, you really liked mj. she was cool and liked a lot of the same things as you. but she had one fatal flaw in your eyes, she used to date peter parker.

it was a short lived relationship, almost everyone saw it as a fling. peter and mj were just… too different. but they remain close friends.

it’s not like you were jealous... just, a tad bit jealous. besides, that ship had sailed and your goal wasn’t to end up like mj on the last trip to europe. no, you had other plans.

“cool. we can watch murder mysteries tonight and grab some snack from the convenience store down the street.” you grin.

the rooming situation for everyone else took entirely too long. it started with flash being upset that his room requirements weren’t being met. he wanted nothing to do with a roommate. this, caused his previous roommate, zander, to object to rooming with someone so, ‘coddled’.

took a full twenty minutes to resolve the issue.

“mj, you still wanna visit the national gallery tomorrow?” asks the one and only peter parker.

“uh, yeah. y/n, wanna join?” she questions.

you were ready to object, finding it far more intriguing to stay in and sleep but then you remembered your little mission. if you wanted to figure out what peter parker’s deal was, you’d have to be around him.

“sure. nothing better to do.” you shrug, peering straight into peter’s eyes.

“i, uh- i thought we’d get an early start to the day. ned wants to go on the jack the ripper tour, so that gives us until one to look through the museum.” peter rambles.

“alright, me and y/n will meet you two down here around ten thirty.” mj clarifies.

“see you then. night mj,” he looks to you. “goodnight y/n.”

you narrow your eyes at him, “sleep tight parker. busy day tomorrow.”

with that you and mj enter your room, ready to sleep off the jet lag. and soon enough, sleep carries you into her open arms, preparing you for the day ahead.

the next morning consists of peter and ned rushing in and out of their room. the duo forgetting nearly everything they needed for the day. it was extremely annoying. but you’d take watching the two ninnies scramble about over this tour you’re forcing yourself to get through right now.

the national gallery was proving to be a bore. maybe it was you. or maybe it was the dull ass tour guide. either way, you’re finding it hard to focus on any of these artworks around you.

“this is the arnolfini portrait. it’s the work of jan van eyck and it is believed to depict an italian merchant named giovanni di nicolao arnolfini. this painting has remained in the national gallery since 1843.” the tour guide drones.

you peer up at the art, searching for anything to interest you about it. you try to focus of the dark green of the woman’s dress, then the small dog, but nothing about this art is appealing to you. instead, you find the whispered conversation going on behind you to be much more intriguing.

“ned how am i going to make it all the way to japan and back here before the ripper tour?” peter grumbles.

japan?

“i don’t know, but i really don’t want to go on a tour of the most infamous and creepy serial killers of all time without my best friend.” ned whispers.

“but mj will be there, and.. y/n.” peter assures.

“great. they both creep me out. that’s like, two extra loads of creepy added onto the already creepy tour.” ned huffs.

“dude, i have to go… mr. stark is waiting on me.” peter pleads.

you hear ned give an annoyed, “fine.”

you wait a few seconds before turning around to face peter’s friend.

“where did peter run off to?” you ask, as innocently as you can.

“uhhhh- the bathroom. the uh, hotel bathroom. yeah, must have been those tomatoes he ate with his breakfast today.” ned gulps.

“mhm. well i think i’ll meet up with him. he shouldn’t walk all the way back alone.” you smirk, shoving past ned and running the direction peter went.

it took a good minute to find him outside, the boy running into a bakery. but once your eyes find him, you rush straight in, right behind him. eyes narrowed and full of questions.

the brown haired boy quickly enters a bathroom and you grin.

no escaping now, parker.

you wait outside the bathroom eagerly. only for minutes to pass. no sound escapes the room and you furrow your brows.

you knock on the door, no answer. annoyed you open the door, only to be met with an empty bathroom.

an empty bathroom with an opened window.

what the fuck?

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“we’ve been upgraded!” mr. harrington gleams, looking down at our tired faces.

“last time we were upgraded we almost died.” betty sighs.

“ah- what did i say, we’re not going to repeat last year,” harrington retorts. “now...how do you guys feel about paris?”

well those words certainly livened up the breakfast table. train tickets are soon passed around, and you study yours, spoonful of yogurt still in your mouth.

“hey y/n, mj and i are gonna go to the louvre when we get there,” ned grins. “wanna come with?”

you chuckle, “another museum? nah, i’m good.”

mj quirks a brow at you, “this museum is home to the mona lisa. it’s not just any museum.”

“and the mona lisa is not just any painting… it’s an ugly one.” you huff.

ned guffaws at you.

“honestly, i might skip out too.” peter says.

you turn to face him, “great. you and i can explore paris while mj and ned explore another museum.”

he shifts in his seat, “i dunno i was thinking of-”

mj cuts him off, “i think that’s a great idea y/n. don’t you, peter? you remember what harrington said.. no repeat of last year.”

her eyes are cold as she awaits his answer and he fidgets more in his seat.

“i just think it might be best for me to stay here… ya know in case mr. stark needs anything.”

you roll your eyes, “dude, you’re just an intern. what could he possibly need that his other ten thousand interns can’t do.”

“technically he only has like six other… interns.” peter mumbles.

“but uh.. they can handle whatever mr. stark needs from you. i mean they’ve been av- uh, interns, for a while.” ned says, eyes pleading with his friend.

peter sighs before smiling at you, “alright, me and you versus paris.”

no peter parker, me and myself versus your dirty little secret.

somehow you got to sit next to peter in an empty train car for the ride to paris. and holy shit.. could he talk.

his eyes did have a way of lighting a fire inside you as he talked but, that, was not the point.

it was between an empty car with peter or full car sat between flash and harrington.

peter is always better than the latter.

“-anyways, how’d you convince your parents to let you go back to europe?” he asks.

“i didn’t. they made me.” you say simply.

peter slumps into his seat a little, “uh, why?”

“because when they were younger they traveled the world. i dunno, i guess they expect me to want to as well.”

“oh. well, are you enjoying it so far.” he asks.

i’d enjoy it more if i could figure out your damned secret, parker.

“sure.”

and then, finally, peter is quiet.

but not for long, as the train comes to a screeching halt.

over the train speakers comes a booming voice, “veuillez rester calme. le train s'est arrêté en raison d'un dysfonctionnement du moteur.”

your body tenses and you look at peter, “please tell me you understand french?”

“a little.. i dont think we need to worry. they said it’s just an engine malfunction.” he nods, looking around the train car.

you try to breathe.

everything is okay. there’s no evil robots coming to destroy a train car with two innocent teenagers. that’s so pre civil war. just breathe.

suddenly a loud bang is heard from the car behind you. not just any bang… a gunshot.

“holy shit.” you whisper, stiff as a board.

peter on the other hand is rummaging through his bag.

“parker! what the fuck are you doing?” you hiss.

“i.. just trust me okay? when i tell you to run… run.”

you look at him with a scowl, “i’m not going to be the sacrificial pig for slaughter, asswipe.”

he rolls his eyes, “i’m going to run with you. we’re going to find an empty car and then… wait for spiderman.”

you blink. the kid’s gone insane.

“peter. listen, i know coping with your own inevitable death can be hard but, spiderman.. really?” you groan.

another loud bang comes from the car behind you.

peter looks at you, taking your hand in his.

the door to your car bursts open.

“run!” peter yelps, rushing into the next car, the gunmen not far enough behind.

“holy shit i’m gonna die.” you scream.

peter throws something at the gunmen when the two of you enter the next car, separating the two of you from the monsters.

but the kid didn’t throw just anything at them. motherfucker threw a damn door. a metal train door.

by the time you process the information, peter is pulling you into a cramped bathroom.

“i don’t have much time but basically, hi, i’m spiderman. those guys back there are people tony stark pissed off really bad and i need you to hide in here until i fix this issue.”

with that he pulls his jacket off revealing the spiderman suit you’re so used to seeing on the news.

“that’s your secret? this entire time i’ve been hanging around you trying to figure it out, and it turns out you’re spiderman. i would have thought anything before fucking spiderman.” you dwell, eyes wide.

he slips his mask on, “wait, you only hung out with me because you thought i had a secret? i mean.. i did but-”

another loud bang interrupts him, “nevermind. we’ll talk about this later. stay here and don’t tell anyone what i just told you.”

you nod, and watch him exit the bathroom.

so much for “not a repeat of last time.”

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“at least it wasn’t witches this time.” mr. dell sighs.

your entire fourth period groans.

“what! our world is infested with witches now. i don’t even know why i’m teaching science. i’m gonna turn around one day and suddenly i’ll be teaching witchcraft.”

your eyes return back to your desk, staring a hole into the old wood. your trance is broken by a crumpled piece of paper. you roll your eyes and turn your attention to peter, who after europe has been watching you like a hawk.

you open the paper to see, ‘listen, mr. stark said i need to get written evidence that you won’t spill the beans. please sign below.’

you grimace but sign at the bottom of the paper and hand it back to your new ninny friend.

that’s right. friend. despite being one of the most annoying people on the planet, with the weirdest secret ever.. peter was nice. he was really nice. he liked almost everything you did and listened intently to whatever you had to say.

“earth to y/n.” his voice calls from beside you.

“oh? is class over?” you ask.

he nods and holds his arm out to you. you take it and give him a half smile.

you may find peter parker to be the weirdest dude ever, but you can’t deny that the secret superhero is starting to flood your mind. you never thought you’d be the one to say it, but peter parker is the coolest weirdo you’ve ever met.

and besides, your mission was a success. you figured out his secret and obtained a friend along with it.

well, friend, until you could complete your newest mission.

telling him you like him. like, a lot.

#—myfics !#peter parker x reader #spiderman x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #spiderman x y/n #spiderman x you #spiderman x enemy!reader #peter parker x enemy!reader #mcu #mcu fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #peter parker fanfiction #spiderman fanfiction #spiderman far from home #x reader #peter parker

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imo-chan-imagines · 4 years

Text

『 Their best sexual characteristic | Haikyuu!! Headcanons 』

Part 4/?

Characters: female!reader, Kageyama Tobio, Nishinoya Yuu, Tendou Satori

Tags/warnings: Haikyuu!! (anime), 18+, explicit descriptions of sex, headcanons, imagines

Attention: All characters in this series are aged up to be at least 18+

⚠️ 18+ CONTENT! MINORS: PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT ⚠️

A/N: I've noticed that the more I do these, the longer they get, and now I feel bad that some of the others might have been neglected T^T

Oh, and I got a new phone, and now the emojis don't look the same... Please tell me if any of them look weird or don't fit the ~vibe~. Previous parts are linked at the bottom ♡ Thanks for reading! Please enjoy! Imo~

Kageyama Tobio

» How vocal he is

Kageyama can't help it, but he moans, groans, and growls with every second of pleasure those deep thrusts have him singinggg 👅

It's such a desperate, stimulating sound that falls from his lips

It turns you on no end hnng

Gets your pussy dripping, which drives him insane

It didn't used to be like that, though

At first he used to stifle his sounds because he was embarrassed

He had heard somewhere stupid that it was 'unmanly' to moan during sex, and became self conscious about it my poor, sweet baby 😭

Like, who even thought if that?! Shame on you!! >:(

But it didn't take long for you to realise something was wrong he had to be so focused just to hold it in, so it was kind of obvious something was up

So one time, when he was buried inside you, clearly struggling to stifle the sounds in his throat, you pulled his head down to your lips and whispered in his ear how much you wanted to hear him moan for you

He was a little taken aback at first, wondering if it was really okay he looked so innocent right then

But you stroked his hair and reassured him that you wanted every part of him, and he didn't have to hold back or hide anything from you like, please. Guys' moans are so hot 💦

As he eased into it, getting used to allowing the sounds to flow, his thrusts got deeper and faster, the blush on his cheeks reddening with every inch further inside you so freaking adorable

He was pressed down on top of you with his hips flush with yours, his desperate sounds filling your ears, pushing you closer to the edge

It was mind-numbing how erotic it was to finally hear just how much he wanted you – how good it felt inside you

And when he came with a whimpering moan of relief, you toppled over the edge, spasming around him please, omg

You had a soft heart-to-heart about it after, curled up in bed together, making sure he felt comfortable with things and LOVED, DAMN IT

Lots of hand holding, hair stroking, and forehead and shoulder kisses by both of you 💋

Now he never hides it from you as it should be

It's brought you much closer as lovers, deepening the connection between you. You're both much happier now it's too cute, I fucking can't

Though the neighbours aren't so appreciative 🤭

I literally love Kageyama. Please cherish him with your entire soul

Nishinoya Yuu

» His spontaneity

There's no such thing a dull sex routine with this hyperactive firecracker 💥

Or any kind of routine, for that matter lmao

Anything romantic or sexual always happens spur of the moment, keeping it fresh and interesting and damn hot *fans self*

Now, Noya isn't massive in the dick department, no third leg, I'm afraid, ladies

But he's actually really decently sized, and as it turns out, the perfect size and shape for quickies which you most definitely do a lot of

Noya definitely isn't afraid of sex in public places kinda turns him on, tbh

Places you've boned, given him a blowjob, dry humped, or he's fingered you include: the park (behind some trees), in the car, in the stall of a restaurant toilet, and at the beach never again, omg, the FREAKING SAND

All this spontaneity, however, means that you're sometimes caught without a condom which will either turn you on more or make you think again depending on the circumstances

Noya is all too happy to go in raw if you're cool with it, but he does try to remember to keep a fresh rubber in his pants or wallet

He buys the extra thin-feel condoms because the sensation inside you drives him literally feral

They sometimes fall out when he's getting something out of his pocket, and it's always at the absolute worst times

Like that time he got his phone out to show your parents a some cute vacay pics, and then BAM, there it was, on the floor between you all hahahaaa, omg. You wanted to die

But it's not just about getting it on in dangerous or compromising places, though

He's just as spontaneous at home, like on the couch while watching Netflix, on the counter top while you're in the middle of cooking don't worry, you turned the stove off first, in the middle of the night when neither of you can sleep, or when you're collapsed in a giggling heap together after a short and decisive pillow fight I'll let you decide who won

It's not about specifically when or where for Noya, but about when if feels right. When that connection is there mah heart

He also tries his absolute best to talk with you about what you do and don't like, what you'd be willing to try, etc. in your free time or in make out sessions, because he's aware his spontaneity can make it hard to talk about those things and that's not his intention at all

But one thing is for sure: it's never, ever boring with Noya

He'd be like this even if y'all got married 💍

Like, you don't have to worry about a dull, routinely or (God forbid) sexless marriage. That's not his style at ALL

Tendou Satori

» His goofiness

This lanky bean can't get enough of your laugh, your smile, your giggles just you in general

He thinks it's when you're at your prettiest

So it follows that he does everything he can to see it, especially when he's trying to make the both of you cum

Smile like that when he's inside you and he'll probably shoot his loud prematurely, lmao

His naturally wacky personality really lends to it, sending you into laughing fits on a regular basis you literally get stitches in your sides

He does all sorts of things on a regular basis in order to see that beautiful smile of yours, like blowing raspberries on your neck and stomach,

~doing stupid impressions,

~having pillow fights,

~giving you piggybacks around the shopping mall at top speed like a madman,

~tickling you in that spot that only he knows about that always makes you giggle and squirm

so freaking adorable!!

He tones down the silliness a little when you're having sex because he knows it's important and not a joke, but sometimes he just can't help himself it's his natural state, after all

And honestly, it's a blessing to have a boyfriend who can make you laugh out of bed AND in it

Awkward moments, like queefs, accidentally breaking bed slats, or getting leg cramps, are always immediately dissipated by his easy going, fun loving attitude a Godsend, honestly

But he normally knows when not to turn things into a joke, making for a pretty healthy, balanced attitude

It makes for such a warm, comforting atmosphere where you feel completely at ease and at home

You feel like you can tell him anything – and you do

Sex is literally so fun with him, but it doesn't detract for the moment at all it's still hawt

He's all down to try new positions and keep it fresh, especially if the position looks fun wheelbarrow, anyone? Lmfao

Spooning!! It's so fun a squishy, and he's a but of a clingy boy

He loves nuzzling the nape of your neck, and sometimes it turns into ✨spooning sex✨

His cock's really long with a nice curve to it, so he can get a great angle like that, ayyee

It sometimes seems like sex is almost too fun for Tendou it's pretty much his favourite past time

But not in a creepy way. This goofy baby is absolutely adorable

please love this man

♡°☆°♡°☆��♡

Part 1: Oikawa, Daichi, Kuroo

Part 2: Ushijima, Suga, Bokuto

Part 3: Iwaizumi, Akaashi, Asahi

#imo chan imagines #haikyuu!!#hq!#smut #headcanons #imagines #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu smut #kageyama tobio #nishinoya yuu #tendou satori #haikyuu!! x reader #kageyama tobio x reader #nishinoya yuu x reader #tendou satori x reader

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dreaminae · 4 years

Text

We All Need The One Friend.

( Author's Note: My original intention was to write a less angsty version of Spelivia season 3, however with the hiatus things changed. In the next chapter, I jumped to episode 6. It will have the same basis as 'Teenage Love', but including my plotline changes. Anyhow, thanks for reading. Feel free to comment if you have any questions.)

Chapter 4

"You can't avoid that boy forever, Liv. Why not just call things off?" Kia asked curiously. "Even if you can't be with Spence, you should not drag out your dead-end relationship with Asher."

"It's not a dead-end relationship." Liv huffed from her end of the phone, before consuming a spoonful of her fruit cup. "We aren't connecting the same as we did before. That's all."

"Because you ditch his every attempt to spend time alone with you." Kia sassed. "Or do you not remember inviting me to the movies two nights ago as the third wheel on your date."

"What do you want me to do, Ke?" Liv scoffed repeatedly. Her hand slid to the side of her bowl where her blue water bottle stood. The blue pigment concealed the colorless liquor that the bottle contained daily. Sighing at the thought of what breaking up with Asher might lead to, Liv dragged the bottle off the countertop. Bringing the straw to her lips, she downed a small gulp of alcohol.

Her throat burned, but her anxiety lessened from the feeling of the booze numbing her insides. She could hear Kia calling her name repeatedly, but focused on her silent voice playing her head.

"It's not a pill. It's not a pill." She allowed the words to echo through her mind as she had multiple times over the last month and a half.

Breaking from her guilty conscience, Liv responded to Kia. "Sorry, bad signal."

"Girl, you need a new phone." Kia laughed, unaware of what took place in the last few moments on Liv's end of the line. "Anyway, just do what I said."

"I can't break up with Asher." Olivia rationalized. "If I do, I might mess things up between Spencer and Layla. He might get the wrong idea. Then Layla will want to know what's going on." Olivia predicted cautiously. "Nope. Things are better this way."

"Not for you." Kia scowled. "How long are you going to put Layla's happiness before your own."

"I'm not." Layla lied partly. "Layla makes Spencer happy. And if he is happy, then so am I."

The sound of the doorbell cut into the phone conversation.

"Hold on, Ke. Someone is knocking." Liv urged, strolling from the kitchen to the front door.

"Stall this conversation all you want. You and I both know who Spencer wants, and it isn't Layla." Kia snorted. "Not anymore."

"Layla!" Liv shouted, surprised to see the topic of her conversation standing at her front door. "What are you doing here?"

"It's Friday." Layla shrugged, walking into the Baker residence without another word. "We haven't spent much time together since school started. I thought we could hang out today."

Olivia blinked in a flustered motion, confused by Layla's sudden presence. She'd made a mission out of avoiding the young producer. A close friendship wasn't in the market for the two of them in Olivia's personal opinion.

Every time she spoke to Layla, Olivia felt a ping of jealously over losing Spencer to her. It wasn't like last year either.

Watching Spencer kiss Layla that night in Vegas felt like a knife through the heart to Liv. Forced to see him with Layla every day was emotionally draining. But Liv knew she had no right to be upset.

Spencer told her how he felt, and Liv pushed him away. She ran away from him, sending him back to Layla on a silver platter. She should not resent them for what her actions caused, yet she did. And she hated herself too.

Olivia hated herself for pushing them away since summer ended. She hated herself for pushing them together. She hated herself for being too weak to go for what she wanted. She hated herself for turning to alcohol in times of stress, instead of being strong enough to face her problems. She hated that she let things get this far out of hand.

"Kia, I've gotta go." Liv bid her friend goodbye.

"Think about what I've been saying." Kia encouraged hopefully. "You should be happy too."

She hung up before Liv could argue that she was happy.

"Kia? Spencer's ex-girlfriend Kia?" Layla questioned curiously, wondering when the two girls became so close.

"Yeah, we hung out a lot over summer." Liv detailed vaguely, leaving Spencer out of the picture. "Mostly helping out with volunteer activities around Crenshaw. Plus, she's into that activist stuff that I cover for my podcast." Olivia added, barely scratching the surface with her friendship with Kia.

Truth is, Kia helped Liv a lot over the summer. They related through Liv's PTSD -- caused by the shooting -- because, growing up in Crenshaw, Kia had experience in dealing with the aftershock of shootings. Furthermore, she and Kia shared similar journalistic hobbies that opened Olivia's eyes to what she might want to do after high school. On top of that, Kia was the only person that Olivia confided in about her feelings for Spencer. Olivia trusted Kia, and with everything going on, Liv wasn't handing out trust varily easy these days.

"That's cool. We should all hang out together sometime." Layla spoke, breaking Olivia from her thoughts.

"Yeah, that sounds like fun." Liv shrugged, sensing that offer wouldn't remain on the table for very long. "Umm, so what are you doing here? Not that you can't drop by," Liv fumbled over her wording. "It's just, I thought you'd be busy at the studio."

"Coop and Spencer are in a weird state right now, and I don't want things to get awkward between Coop and me." Layla clarified to Liv.

"Right, so you're hiding out until things blow over?" Liv giggled, rounding the kitchen counter to grab her bottle from beside the area where Layla sat.

"Basically." Layla agreed. "Anyway, it's not like you're busy, right?"

"Asher wanted to have 'us weekend'," Liv answered as an excuse to keep Layla from coming up with any plans. "We haven't had much alone time since he came back."

"Alone time sounds nice." Layla agreed once more, in a similar position with Spencer. Other than their occasional late-night sleepovers, Layla couldn't remember the last time she and Spencer spent time by themselves.

"Yeah, I guess." Olivia sighed, knowing she was the cause of the lack of connection in her relationship.

At the thought of relationships, she couldn't help, but to ask her next question. "What about Spencer?"

Concern for Spencer was second nature to Liv at this point. But Olivia also wondered why Layla was at her house if she desired alone time with Spencer. Surely, Spencer was in the need of comfort if he was fighting with his closest, childhood friend.

Layla couldn't help but to fall quiet for a second in reaction to Olivia's constant concern for Spencer. Liv barely acknowledged her problems with Asher, yet found Spencer's problems of complete interest.

"He went to his family cabin for the weekend." Layla finally allowed herself to respond. "He's going to clear out the last of the boxes, and to clear his head, I suppose," Layla added, unable to give Olivia a full report.

After all, Spencer failed to give Layla a full description of the thoughts rumbling inside his mind. "I offered to go with him, but he insisted that he wanted to be alone, so..." Layla dragged out, unsure what to do.

Liv rolled her eyes at the mention that Spencer insisted upon being alone. He is always prepared to help others, but never asks for help when he needs it. He and Liv were alike in that way. Which was fine, because they had one another to hello out when they were too stupid to ask for it.

"This is the first time Spencer is going to the cabin since his dad died," Olivia stated matter of factly. "He shouldn't be there alone."

Layla cleared her throat, reading into Liv's firm tone. It was evident that despite Layla's position as Spencer's girlfriend, Olivia felt that she comprehended what Spencer needed better than Layla did.

#3x07 #all american #olivia and spencer #spelivia #olivia baker #spencer and olivia #spencer james #3x06

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