#i dont hate my school but i hate burnout :')

[applestruda]

Im going to be insane on saturday ill never shut up

[stupidscav]

im actually just done at this point if I break down crying at school today we all know who's fault that is

mine AND my math teacher's

[titan-god-helios]

fuck, audhd burnout is a bitch.

[jam-campasta]

watching some of my old youtube videos really be me laughing at my own jokes and going "oh wow i used to make cartoons for fun" 😭

[silverislander]

idk whats going on or why my anxiety is so bad but i had to keep myself from physically leaving the room during class today and the only reason i didnt was bc there was stuff in front of the door. so.

[secretcherimaybe]

I don't really know how to explain it but,

when I see the school bus roll by my window while I'm inside eating cookies for breakfast and playing video games, because the personal schedule I get to make for myself allows for genuine relaxation time (an unthinkable luxury when I was in high school),

i think about those adults who angrily chewed me out about how hard "the real world" is and wait until I get to "the real world" so I better stop complaining.

How I was so terrified about how becoming an adult meant working non-stop because that's what I was doing as a teen and i couldnt see any breaks ahead.

The idea of having to give up my hobbies because It seemed so rare to met an actually interesting adult.

Even having done many diffrent jobs, some shitty and some fine, and the failing body of a 30 year, let me tell you, the 'real world' has been a HELL of a lot easier then high school.

High school were you have absolutely no control over anything and every adult seems to genuinely hate you simply because you're young and you just helplessly watch your peers skid and crash. Then everyday after school you have more school plus chores, and jobs, and your so burnt out amd exhausted and scared scared SCARED.

And now I'm an adult, I make my own schedule and work at my own pace and choose my own line of work and I look at those teens and hope they are doing ok.

Damn, being a teenager in high school was the closest to hell I've ever been in everything after graduation, from scrubbing toilets to sleeping in cars has been a dream compared to the hell of that world.

[literary-mafuyu]

I'm falling out and drawing, and all I did the whole day was use my phone, maybe I should just study for bullshit just all the time so that I can get full grades that's what they want after all.. You know what maybe I should kill myself. Tf do I even do. Headache pain killers does that exist? Maybe I use those if I study

I'm writing this knowing damn well I'm not and can't even do any of these

[ventiluvr]

oh right tumblr hasnt gotten any koodles right . here they are

[thespacedragons]

Was anyone else team "All of your teachers' favorite, even the one you didn't like because you're so painfully polite to literally everyone and don't know how to speak up for yourself so they just assume you like them too?"

Of course I did like a lot of my teachers, but I was somehow in good graces with all of them.

[unfinshedsentec]

hdidjdd hi aceee <3

saw that your requests are open … 👀

is it alright if i request a mikey x reader, orrr a ryusei x reader, where reader is suffering from burnout from school ?? like, all their work keeps pilling on top of each other, and its just too much for reader to handle. reader is literally just mentally and physically exhausted, and they havent got the energy to do anything

icl .. this is literally my life rn and many others 🧍‍♀️

but if you dont wanna do this, that’s perfectly fine !

LY <33

hi love<333 thank you so much for requesting! Ugh tbh I relate so much to this. Like school just started and I’m already so done. The senioritis is hitting HARD

Anyway, I really loved writing this and I really wanted to make this headcanon so I added shin to make it three! Hope you enjoy and I love you sm <33

WHEN YOU’RE FEELING BURNT OUT

reader is gender neutral!

characters: manjiro (mikey) sano, ryusei satou, shinichiro sano

tw: cursing, depression, being burnt out, mental exhaustion, etc.

RYUSEI

Tired. That’s all you felt. So tired. Each day a new weight always seemed to get added to your shoulders. Whether it was homework, or just the thought of school alone, it all made you feel…exhausted.

It quickly became too much. Every day lasted longer and longer. Your work built up more and more. Even talking to your friends seemed like a task. It just seemed like there was no end to any of it, it made you so tired…so stressed.

And Ryusei noticed that.

Ever since you had shown up to school, you noticed he was giving you an odd look. He kept looking at you, confused, as if he was trying to figure something out. Then, confused turned to concern, and concern turned onto questions.

“Y/n?” Ryusei asked, pulling you away from your friends. “Are you okay?”

Nervously, you laughed, barely being able to keep eye contact with Ryusei. “What?” you chocked out. “I’m fine! Just a little tired is all”

Ryusei looked at you skeptically and sighed. Sure, you were tired, but he knew there was a lot more going on than that. He knew very well there was something a lot deeper than “a little tired” going on.

“Y/nnn” he began, gently holding your shoulders. “Don’t lie to me”

“I told you, I’m just tired”

“No”, Ryusei persisted. “There’s something wrong, very wrong. What’s bugging you love?”

Silently, you looked up at him. Your mouth pressed together, and you sighed, as if you were getting ready to say something. A familiar glint appeared in your eyes, one that remined him all too much of tears. His heartbeat picked up and he was ready to whisk you away to safety. But, just as you opened your mouth to say something, someone interrupted you.

“Y/n! What’re you waiting for? We gotta go!” your friends yelled. They were waving you down, telling you it’s time to go to class…to more work. “Coming!”, you answered. And in one movement, you gave Ryusei an apologetic look and left. Ryusei just watched you leave, worried.

Throughout the day Ryusei thought about you non-stop. On the outside, he was his happy, dandy, teasing self. He spent his day with friends, teasing Chifuyu, and sleeping on the roof. He looked fine, happy even. But on the inside, worried plagued him. You looked so sad, so tired. And he hated that. It drove him crazy.

Even worse, he kept trying to talk to you, trying to comfort you—but you avoided him. Every time he’d walk by you or call your name, you’d drop your head and act like he wasn’t there. It was like he was a ghost. And that, worried him more than anything.

Eventually, Ryusei had enough. Mid-way through the school day, right before you went into your last class, Ryusei grabbed your arm and walked you up to his favorite place—the school rooftop.

“Ryusei!” you yelled, attempting to pull away. “Ryusei?! What’re you doing?!”

Ryusei said nothing. He didn’t turn to you, he didn’t look at you, and he didn’t say anything. He just kept walking you up to the roof. No matter how many times you yelled for him and asked him what was going on, he just ignored you and kept going.

It wasn’t until you reached the roof that he did something. He hugged you.

In an instant, he dropped all of his cool-boy bravado. He just stood there and hugged you. He didn’t tease you and he didn’t act like he usually did. He just let it all go and showed his soft, boyfriend-y side that he showed to no one else but you.

Silently, he pulled you closer, and hugged you as tight as he could. He cradled your head and ran his finger through your hair. His head rested on top of yours. His breath blew your hair a bit. It was a real, loving hug. You completely fell into it. You let him wrap his arms around you, cradle you, and hold you as if this was the end of the world. You stood there with your head against his chest, just listening to his heartbeat.

“Y/n...” he began, still running his fingers through your hair. “What’s going on? What’s wrong with you?”

Silent. It was completely silent for a few minutes. You said nothing, you did nothing. But Ryusei could feel you tense up. He could feel you grip onto his shirt a little more.

“I-I already told you. I’m just a little tired.” you shakily uttered. Ryusei, however, didn’t buy it one bit.

“Please don’t lie to me, Y/n” Ryusei replied, tightening his arms around you. “Please, please don’t lie”

Suddenly, you shook. You shook hard, and soon enough, Ryusei heard sobs. Tear were streaming down your face and wetting his shirt. You gripped onto him as hard as you could and just cried. And Ryusei let you.

“I’m so done”, you whimpered. “The work it…never ends! It keeps coming and coming and, and—I can’t do it anymore! I just want a break!” you sobbed. “I want it to end”

Ryusei just sighed and he kept hugging you. He felt terrible that he couldn’t just take all the stress off you and put it on himself. He wished he could take all your worries away so you could be the happiest person on earth. But he couldn’t do any of that, as much as he wished he could. But he could still do one thing.

“I’m here…” Ryusei muttered, stroking your hair. “And I always will be”

Indeed, Ryusei would be. He would always be there by your side, picking you up in the worst of times. Although he wished those bad time never happened, he still stayed by you though it all. And although he didn’t see as much, it was more than enough.

He was enough, and he always would be.

 MIKEY

Life has been hard lately. Every day it seemed like just getting out of bed was a task. Going to school is practically a nightmare anymore. The work seems nonstop. It feels like the moment you get something done; 2 other things pop up. You couldn’t keep up; you can still barely keep up. You knew you needed to get up, you knew you needed to do the work, but you just couldn’t. You couldn’t bring yourself to do anything.

It had only been the beginning of the school year, yet you were already so done. You were so tired. It felt like life was moving forward quickly, so quickly you could barely keep up. You wanted, no needed nothing more than for it to slow down. But clearly that wasn’t happening. After all, thing upon thing kept piling up in your list of stuff you need to do. And it was all so exhausting.

For now, all you could do was try. Trying was really the only option you had, but even trying didn’t feel like enough. You didn’t feel like enough. Maybe that was why you showed up at your boyfriend’s house 2’oclock in the morning. Or maybe it was because you didn’t think you could keep going if you couldn’t see his face.  Either way, you were knocking on Mikey’s door in the middle of the night on a school night, praying he would answer.

You knew this probably wasn’t a good idea. After all, Mikey is a busy man. Having to deal with Toman, fights, and of course the burden of whatever goes on in his head takes a toll on him. You knew that right now he was either busy or tired, and you felt guilty plaguing him more. But you needed him. You needed him so badly right now. So, here you were pounding on his door at 2’clock in the morning, awaiting an answer.

It didn’t take Mikey longer than a couple minutes to open the door. The poor blonde looked disheveled, confused even. He still wore his Toman uniform, and his hair was up in his usual semi-up hairstyle (at least as much as it could be). Somehow, he still looked like a kid in this state. He gripped onto his towel tightly, and drool ran down his face. Unfortunately, his eyed were anything but that of a kids. They were droopy, blank, and usually dark. The dullness in his eyes was scary. It really spoke lengths as to how tired Mikey was.

“Y/n-chin?”, Mikey mumbled, rubbing his eyes. “What’re you doing here?”

Looking up at him, you felt guilty. The dark circles underneath his eyes were even darker that they were. You instantly regretted disturbing him. But you needed him. It was an uphill battle you weren’t sure would be ending anytime soon.

“Umm…” you began, eyes moving away from his. “I just needed to see you.”

Confused, he glanced at you, before opening the door wider for you to come in. Silently, you slipped in, and took off your shoes. Mikey, on the other hand, ran back into bed. He went back into a half-asleep in what seemed like an instant. Still, his eyes carefully watched you. He was skeptical already, but the way you awkwardly stood by the door unmoving only made him that much more skeptical.

“What’re you waiting for?” Mikey mumbled, lifting gup his blankets. “Get in”

You sighed, before crawling into bed next to the blonde boy. His hair was already sprawled all over the place and he looked exhausted. Yet, he still laid awake. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer. Happily, you buried your head deep into his chest, and just laid there, listening to his heartbeat. It was calm, as was his breathing. In a way, it put you to sleep. But just as you felt you conciseness begin to slip away, Mikey spoke, his voice more serious than normal.

“Y/n…what’s wrong?” he said, running his fingers through your hair. He was looking directly in your eyes, with a more serious look than you’ve seen in a while.

“Huh? What are you talking about? I’m fine” you retaliated, refusing to drag him down more. Unfortunately, Mikey wasn’t buying it for a second. “Uh huh”, he replied, pulling away. “That’s why you look so sad”

“What?”

“There’s clearly something wrong Y/n. I can tell from your eyes” he began, cupping your face. “You can’t lie to me, idiot”

In an instant, you felt everything in your body just…release. All the stress, overwhelm, exhaustion, in all took over. Tears began running down your face. And then, soon enough, you found yourself sobbing into Mikey’s chest while he held you.

“Shhh…it’s okay”, he mumbled into your hair. Silently, he ran his fingers through your hair as he just let you…cry. You didn’t say anything, but Mikey already knew what was wrong. He watched you from afar. He saw how you instantly looked more stressed when the teacher brought up more work. He saw how tired you looked. He watched how you struggled to even look at all homework, let alone do it. He knew what was wrong, and he understood.

He understood all too well.

“I’m so tired, Mikey!”

“I know…I know…” he mumbled, tightening his hug. “Don’t worry, I’m here…i’m here with you”

In that moment, your whole world became a whole lot lighter.

 SHINICHIRO

Shinichiro had noticed how tired you looked.

The bags under your eyes spoke more than words could say. Your unusual distance, the dullness in your eyes, your uninterest to do anything; Shinichiro had noticed it all. Hell, he had noticed more than once you been crying. After all, red, puffy eyes didn’t happen for no reason.

Even when you came to visit him at the bike shop, you looked so tired. Even when you looked at him, the light in your eyes seemed to fade away. Everything about you now worried Shinichiro to no end.

He worried about you all the time. He just couldn’t get the thought of your dull face out his head. It plagued him a way, but maybe it was just the worry any boyfriend should experience.

Either way, he worried about you—your safety and your health. Shinichiro had tried many times before to talk to you, to figure out what was wrong, but you always gave the same answer.

“I’m fine.”

He knew damn well that wasn’t true, but he didn’t want to push you. So, Shin let it go. He decided to let you come to talk to him instead of forcing something out. But, one day, when you just suddenly disappeared, he had enough.

It was a school day, in fact, it was one of your last school days. Shin had just handed off the black dragons, and he finally had a plan to work full-time at the bike shop. Shin went to school, texted you, did stuff in class, and then continued through his day like it was nothing. However, not long after 1st period began, Shin noticed immediately that you hadn’t answered any of his texts, and it worried him. But hey, maybe you’re just running late, and you haven’t checked your phone!

Oh, how wrong that was. And Shin knew exactly how wrong it was when you didn’t show up to school…at all. He texted you what seemed like hundreds of times, trying to get a hold of you, but he got nothing. All day, there was just no sign of you.

He had to admit, Shinichiro hadn’t been this panicked in a long time. He wasn’t sure what was going on, or exactly what to do about it, but he was going to get to the bottom of it. After all, you were one of the most important people in his life; he had to make sure you’re okay.

In heartbeat, he rushed to your house. He didn’t care that they were still time left in the day, or that he had a test later, Shin ran to your house. Frantically, he knocked on the door, praying you’d answer. And at first, there was nothing. But after banging on the door again and pleading for you to come out, you finally answered the door.

Exhausted. That’s what you looked and that’s what you were. The bags under your eyes were darker than ever before, and your eyes themselves were as blood shot as could be. You sniffled, looking up at Shin.

“W-what’re you doing here, Shin?” you mumbled, avoiding his gaze. Shin just looked at you, relived. “Y/n?! Oh my god, thank the lord you’re alive!!” Shin yelled, pulling you into his chest. The taller man squeezed you as tight as he could, finally letting the anxiety in his body lessen.

“The hell are you talking about?”, you croaked out, returning the hug. Your voice, however, was raspy and dry. Shin worriedly ran his finger through your hair and asked beyond a lot of questions. But the biggest thing of all wasn’t even a question, but a demand.

“Y/n”, Shinichiro said, pulling away. He gently held your face in his hands, but his face was a serious as could be. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Wha-“

“What is wrong?” he sternly said, his stare as serious as ever. Silently you dropped your head, and finally let more tears run. Your body shook and quickly began wiping the tears away. You tried containing yourself, but the more you tried to, the worse it became. Quickly, you began sobbing. And soon enough, you were uncontrollably sobbing.

“Woah, woah, woah” Shin said, immediately pulling you back into his chest. “It’s okay, it’s okay”

“I’m so tired!” you sobbed out, though not very clearly. “I-I can’t do this anymore!”

“What can’t you do anymore?” Shin gently questioned stroking your hair. He was so gentle with you, so caring, yet so pained at the same time. This hurt more that he ever thought it would. It almost felt like his heart was cracking with each sob you let out.

God, all of this was horrible.

“I -can’t so this! I can’t do anything!” you sobbed gripping onto his shirt. “The work never stops it just keeps coming! I-I can’t take it anymore! I’m so fucking tired!”

“I can’t live like this”, you continued “I’m just not…enough”

Shin sighed, before pulling away again. Gently he cupped your face and began wiping the tears away. His eyes looked into yours the whole time. He was serious, dead serious. His tone and voice were serious too. He meant what he said completely, but more than anything, he meant what he would say next.

“You’ll always be enough for me, Y/n”

masterlist || reblogs are very appreciated <33 || so sorry for any typos too lol

[sparkleboi24]

I need help crafting head canons and backstories for a BSD au I'm creating

I'm working on making head canons for a normal world no mafia no Ada or whatever au. For the most part I'm trying to take canon events and adapt them in a way where they could realistically happen, but for characters with more unknown or vague pasts I'm great for any HCs

Starting with Dazai, Dazai is not an orphan he was removed from his home by CPS when he was about 2. He was in the foster care system for a while, tossed around until he ended up in a home with Mori from ages 9-16. Mori was abusive, so Dazai ran away and lived in a shipping crate for a bit. Eventually he was taken in by Oda, who was a foster parent to mostly younger kids. He was there for 6 months but when he was out with Oda, Oda was killed in a mass shooting.

I know Dazai "improved" in canon after Oda died but I didn't give him a chance for this big long speech and there wasn't any reason for Oda to anyways, so Dazai completely spiraled after that. I have like a whole story written about that. But short things is his alcohol addiction got worse, he often spent days just not moving from Oda's grave and since you see him inject himself in season 5 and pop a pill in season 2, I have him experiment with drugs like fenty, shrooms, and heroin. Not addicted, just trying them out. Dazai is my most fleshed out in the au I'm creating, idk why.

Dazai bullies Akutagawa in school because of course he does.

Now for Chuuya I haven't finished stormbringer so my HCs for him might change. But.

He was also in foster care. I haven't fully fleshed out his life yet and I want some ways to integrate the sheep some how? But he entered the system when he was 8, I don't know why because I haven't finished storrmbringer. It varies from Verlaine killing his parents to them dying in a car crash so. Working on that. Verlaine went to a different home from Chuuya, he doesn't know him well he just hates him. I've been debating between having Kouyou be his sister or foster mother, but since I put Dazai with Mori I figured Chuuya could go with Kouyou and she'd just be a younger foster mom. I was also thinking I could find a way to make them in the same house? I really want the whole betrayal thing where Dazai leaves Chuuya and I thought it could be cool where Dazai left Chuuya in an abusive home to deal with it himself but I'm not sure, would it even make sense for him to have been with Mori?

Chuuya is in college, Dazai is struggling to get by. They still have their personalities obv so Dazai isn't like this sad mopey mess he's just a sad mess who mopes when he's alone and everyone doesn't really realize where he's at mentally

Mori has also fostered Yosano and Q, while having Elise as his bio daughter.

Atsushi and Lucy's backstories are basically the exact same as they are in canon

Akutagawa is homeless ofc, he just moves from place to place with his sister. His clothes are shit and he smells because he never showers so he isn't treated well at school. I'm tryna think if he'd go to college, also he's still got his terminal illness. I'm not sure how his need for Dazai's validation would come out in this au

Ranpo was adopted by Fukuzawa. His life was also basically the same. Yosano was also adopted by him.

I'm thinking Kunikida has a normal ass life with normal ass parents, just too much of an overachiever and on the verge of burnout but not allowing himself to burn out

Poe is rich. He was born rich, he's got money, that's all. I've got for him lol.

I'm trying to find ways to add the rest of the cast, I want to get all the characters in and get them lives and stuff made up.

If you have any suggestions to how I can expand this world I want to write fan fiction on it once I've fleshed it out a bit. Feel free to be like "actually no I dont like your idea, I think this would be better" because I'm open to any criticism on this, I just want it to be good and I'm not stuck on my ideas

[girlytips]

Where in the world is Ribon?

As you've noticed, for the last about three months, the blog has gone back and forth between guest writers and queue. The blog was moved (without my knowledge) and longform writing stopped. Recently, girly.zyoshi also went on break. So where have I been? Is this the end of Ribon-tan and girly kei tips?

Short answer: No. I'm not quitting girly tips, and I don't intend to any time soon. That being said, some things will be changing.

When I started girly-kei-tips, it was a spin off blog of girly-kei-otd, in the style of old school jfashion blogs like fairykeitips, lolitatips, menheratips, etc. I'd been wearing Girly and lurking in the "larme kei" community for years, but what finally pushed me to gather resources for people looking to get into the style was the overwhelming influx of misinformation about a select few substyles and silhouettes. The jfashion community has grown in the years since tiktok, and with it has grown the number of newbies and misinformation- as well as a new "veterans correcting incorrect info is elitist gatekeeping" sort of idea circulating, at first most prevalent with baby gyaru, then lolitas, and now with menhera and Girly. I wanted to find a way to teach people new to jfashion about Girly and create a community of wearers that was as active as the "larme kei" communities of the mid 2010s were. So after an interest poll on girly-kei-otd, I wrote my first major article about the (at the time) current misconceptions newcomers to Girly had.

It circulated much faster than I expected it to! Of course, since posting that I have been bombarded with harassment, from simply reblogging with such creative stantwt-esque rebuttals as "me when i lie" to attempted doxxing, death threats, and full blown conspiracies trying to assert that I'm actually like 10 other people, not really mentally ill, hate Japan, dont really wear jfashion, etc. However, that's never effected me as much as seeing the information I translated and broke down reaching platforms I'm not even on, and encouraging people who were new to or had stepped back from Girly to rejoin the community! This only motivated me to keep going, so I did!

However, no amount of passion for something can entirely combat the reality that I am a mentally ill and disabled person who has been juggling recovery, university, a job, an irl social life, and suddenly being thrust into the position of "spokesperson for the Girly community". I became incredibly burnt out due to the sheer amount of having to repeat myself over and over, as well as a lack of energy due to struggles with mental and physical health entirely unrelated to the project. When I had an unrelated severe bpd episode, I knew I needed to temporarily step back. I had two friends who run their own jfashion projects take over for me so I could focus on survival and recovery- but it had an unintended consequence.

Unfortunately, the most common conspiracy theory used to devalue any information I give or agree with is that I am the entire Girly community, and the menhera community as well. So, when the responses from my blog seemed less like Ribon and more like runners of other popular blogs, this seemed to validate that belief in some. On top of that, language barrier issues as well as differences in opinion lead to seemingly contradictory information coming out of girly tips. Suddenly, every time I was meant to come back, I had to deal with another misunderstanding, edit another post, freak out thinking my blog was deleted when it was actually moved- no one was being malicious, there were just too many chefs in the kitchen, so to speak. This just made my mental state deteriorate even more, and make me feel even more unfit to resume activities.

This level of burnout lead me to take the extended break that I took, and starting girly.zyoshi really helped me get out of that rut- but then Instagram began to not show our posts. Apparently, this is common with kaiwai accounts- frequent posts with similar hashtags get marked as spam. After discussions with customer support, the solution was to take a break from posting so that the account doesn't get nuked before starting back over. Unfortunately, combined with my absence from the blog, this made it look as though I had abandoned my projects entirely.

So, what now? Well, I'm going to be back to making original posts and answering questions again. However, to prevent a burnout from happening again, it's never going to go back to the insane frequency of original articles I was putting out in the beginning months. The kaiwai account is also resuming activity- but limited to 2 or 3 posts a week! And yes, the Discord, which was deleted many months ago, will be staying down. To make up for this lack of original content, I'll continue to leave the blog running a daily queue as well between posts.

While I have the opportunity to do so, I'd also like to make one thing clear, AGAIN. I do not hate mentally ill people. I do not hate people who "fit" the landmine stereotype. This is a fact that seems to have been overlooked in favor of the "don't listen to that person, they just hate people who struggle" approach to combatting the information I provide. I also do not condone harassment, EVER. I don't care what for. Before deleting the Discord due to member safety concerns, I had to re-enforce that rule many times. Someone identifying as jirai or spreading the misinformation that jirai is a fashion or a movement is ABSOLUTELY not an excuse fo make fun of them. If you came to the conclusion that it is justified to bully people who post misinformation because of my blog, you have severely misread the purpose of my blog and I do not want you here.

I myself am severely mentally ill. I struggle with many aspects of illness that are the most fetishized in the landmine lifestyle. I have diagnosed BPD, as well as a severe dissociative disorder and cPTSD. I am not against mentally ill people doing their best to survive. I am not "anti" anyone's coping mechanisms- after all, even bad coping mechanisms are better than no coping mechanisms and can be the difference between life and death. I do not have anything against people like me- people who struggle to maintain healthy relationships, who struggle with chronic suicidal ideation, who have mood swings, etc. I have nothing against people who are stuck in unhealthy lifestyles because the alternative is death. My issue is the trying to make struggling with these illnesses and living dangerous lifestlyes cute and trendy- which is what the Japanese jirai scene is all about. Wherever you are in life- if it's living a "landmine lifestyle" of binge drinking and unsafe work, or if you're coping healthily, or somewhere in between- it's okay. You're okay, and I'm proud of you. What's not okay is trying to sanitize what the lifestyle and term are- they aren't feminist, they aren't safe and fun, they aren't cute and desirable. And it's also not okay to try to spread misinformation about fashions to try to support this Western fanfiction that there is a feminist fashion and culture movement called landmine about freeing mentally ill girls by denying that Girly/girly kei exists.

I hope this helps explain some things, but I haven't proofread. So please, if you have any questions, anon asks are on for the time being. Thanks so much for your support, and I'm excited to see you in a text post I have in the works! -Ribon

[sad-leon]

Hello! I hope you're having a good day!

So many people in my life seem to be going through something right now, and I just wanted to give you an opportunity to share anything you might be going through. Good or bad, as specific or as vague as you're comfortable with. Or feel free to ignore if you'd rather not. No pressure at all!

I hope things are going well for you! But if not, I'll be sending prayers your way if you're comfortable with that!

I am... not.

and i haven't for a long time

I'll preface this entire post with a warning: THIS IS A VENT POST the only tags will be trigger warnings

I thinks i've said it once or twice, but I started school this year. This is my first year in college after taking a gap year and also telling everyon i wasnt gonna go. I know jack shit about what im doing and its fucking exhausting. Theres so many things that i feel like I should know but dont because all the college information given out in my highschool was geared toward the college in that town specifically, which is not the college im going to.

I've also moved. im entirely on my own, physically and financially. I just met with my job and am starting very soon which is not good because my sleep schedule is all wrong. I may be switching jobs soon, but i can't just quit becuase, like i said, im on my own.

and those are only the big two. lets speedrun this. my anxiety, my autism, i need new glasses, my feet hurt more than i think they should, im a system, my eating disorder, my aversions that make it hard to drink the water up here, the burnout, the exhaustion, executive dysfunction, i also likely have adhd which mean rsd. im touch starved and touch adverse

those are just what i can think of off the top of my head

but all of this had been leading to what might be a pretty nasty breakdown and soon.

im so fucking tired all the time and that makes it hard to draw, but thats one of my only ways to relax. i like playing mc, but i get bored easily and also i cant sit at my desk for long becuase it feels like my head is too heavy for my neck. it hurts. everything hurts and my job doesnt help me at fucking all.

i was able to draw tsob while dealing with most of my issues becuase all i had to worry about was work. looking at my current schedule, i can find the free time. the issue is using that freetime to draw and not just sleep or dissociate. finding home is very dear to me, but drawing it the way i am can be exhausting and i dont want to start hating it, so i just.. dont draw it most days

i stress constantly about how i appear on my blog becuase i want so badly to do this right. i want to be good at something, like, as a person, not just as an artist. but i hate myself too much to believe in any progress i make.

i know its the rsd mostly but i see groups and i feel gross. its not as bed now (any of you beans that have made it this far, ily /p) becuase i found a community i can actually interact with, but it still comes up, especially because i've moved away from all my irl friends and its so fucking hard for me to make them in the first place. like.. actual friends, not just people i can work with at school

if i keep going i'll probably talk myself in circles, so ill stop it here. theres a lot more but im not going to ramble about my suicidal, intrusive, or sh thoughts on this blog. this is a post to inform you guys of the state of mind im in. im lonely and sad and its all building up to a massive breakdown.

im not going to be leaving tumblr or giving up on my comic, but i probalby wont update as often as i did tsob. i just dont have the energy.

i also will probably post some of my traditional art cuz i gotta fill up a sketchbook for my animation class, so that also takes away from the time i use to draw digitally.

im so tired

[clacks321]

nah cause i dont think ppls get how much i love doomed by the narrative. i can’t sleep at night without my 500k bedtime story of pure angst, hurt no comfort, doomed by the narrative queercoded SUFFERING. i feed off of doomed by the narrative characters like a hyena off rotting corpse caracases. i listen to working for the knife a minimum of 25 times a day. i work 8-5 at a school i hate to go home and do even more homework and if im gonna continue this gifted kid burnout breakdown perpetually i need that existential spiral swaggery

[mak1lol]

Its been a month but Hi im alive

Sorry for the lack of posting, i"ve been really busy and the lack of motivation has been ever since last month (More at the bottom)

Im currently in 5th grade elementry which is known to be one of the stressful years as your bassicly preparing for the next year. I feel burnout for the past couple months and Exams is coming soo i might not post for the time being until 1st semester is over.

Another thing is i also have taekwondo on my schedule which also is why im not posting that much (but good news, i just turned into yellow belt last sunday)

And lack of motivation, honestly im getting back to drawing but traditional, not sure why but whenever i make something on my tablet i hate it (this drawing also kinda count) but my traditional drawing are the ones that gives me will to draw

And one last thing, my hyperfixating on TTTE is slowly going down lately. I"ve always been more into Pjsekai and KNY lately, and the only thing TTTE thing in my head is TTTE oc's. Im trying to progress the sodor 1980 story in my head but im kinda rushing things a bit.

Thats pretty much it, dont expect much rn. But dw after all of this school is over, i"ll try to post as much as i can ^^

[mwahkazu]

hi mae! i used to write quite a bit, but i stopped after a while due to burnout but here i am again lmao

anyways, if you're okay with it, could you give some writing tips/how you do your writing process? dw if you don't want to or just can't explain it! :D

hi anon! oof…you’re experience actually brought back some flashbacks for me LMAO i went through the exact same thing a couple years back! ended up losing motivation/burnout, left and then came back for a second attempt 😅

i’ll do my best to offer you what i can and things that i found helpful to get back into the groove of writing <3

( long post ahead )

writing tips:

the first thing i heavily suggest is to just write. don’t focus too much on things like grammar, whether the story flows well, dialogue, or anything just write whatever comes to mind. you can worry about those things afterwards once you’re editing and revising!

along with that do some rough drafts! i know we all hated that stuff so much when we wrote essays and stuff for school but believe me having drafts truly does help when writing a story

if you dont like how one story turned out DONT DELETE IT. save it and come back to it another time! maybe you didn’t like how it flowed but you really liked that one dialogue or description you wrote and perhaps want to build a story based off of that or add it to a current wip

decide on what it is you want to write! maybe you just want to have a blog strictly centered around one character or person, write smau’s, oneshots, hcs, etc. or maybe even a culmination of everything! all of these are considered writing and will always have an audience wanting to read them on here

one of the main reasons my burnout happened was because i gave myself too much work and a schedule. i know some authors like to have a schedules for their work but i honestly found it very pressuring which resulted in my uploading works i wasn’t proud of or that were rushed :((

write whenever you feel like it! remember that you’re your own boss on here! there’s no problem with updating once every month or every other day. writing takes time. i assure you your blog isn’t going anywhere if you leave it or take a break from writing for a couple of days

at the same time you also need to know your limits as a writer. don’t feel the need to constantly be uploading fics every single day! that’s one of the main reasons writers on here sometimes abandon their blogs or series. ofc if you’re able to handle doing so then by all means go for it. but i know for most it’s taxing and leads to a lot of burnouts and lack of motiviation

so take your time. if you have an idea for a series or story plan it out first and then once you’ve got a good idea of how you want everything to play out then you can upload it!

don’t feel ashamed about looking up things online! i for one am constantly looking up ways to describe certain things like emotion, expressions, scenes, etc. ( insert me typing “synonyms for (word)” 😭 ). it just goes to show you want to improve your writing and make it more interesting!

writing is all about trial and error. there is no wrong or right way of doing it. i know when it comes to tumblr, getting your fics recognized and read by others can be very hard with the algorithm and such relying heavily on reblogs which most fics struggle to gain a lot of as people just opt for just liking.

but please don’t be discouraged by how many notes your works receive! as long as you stay consistent and true to your writing it’s bound to reach others and receive the recognition it deserves <3

writing process:

as for my writing process it’s a bit all over the place lol

a lot of my stories/smaus i come up with due to being inspired by something! whether it’s from a song, a prompt/dialogue starter i found on pinterest, a movie/anime show, aus/tropes, or sometimes having a random thought like “what if character a and character b were this and that”

but once i have an idea i start planning it out! i recently made the transition of planning out my writing from google docs to notion and omg… it’s become a life saver i highly recommend using notion as a way to plan out your fics snd such

everything is just so organized, there are templates online to use that you can add personal touches/adjustments to to really make it your own!

usually when i come up with a fic idea i already have a character in mind that i would like to do it for but if you dont have one or are struggling to decide, pick at random my friend LMAO ik a lot of my moots sometimes use a character wheel or random pick generator online to decide on characters and from what i’ve seen it helps them a lot😭

when planning out my fics i dont focus too heavily on every little detail. it’s called the planning stage for a reason. i just focus on the major points i want to make sure i hit, write out certain ideas i have in mind for a specific scene or dialogue sequence, character/world building and all that good stuff

creating a playlist for the story also helps me a lot too! really establishes the mood of the story and even gives me some additional inspo/support! one thing i recently started doing is finding a playlist on youtube that fits the mood of my story and then opening another yt tab and searching for ambience sound and playing them both at the same time lol ( trust the process )

once i feel satisfied with my planning i move on to the writing ( the most dreadful part of all /lh ). as i mentioned in the writing tips section, i just write whatever comes to mind and keep going until i get stumped or run out of ideas

if i hit that point i take a break and focus on doing other things like working on another piece or doing something outside of writing ( cough playing stardew valley ) or talking to my lovely moots <3

this is also considered a writing tip but take breaks! i cannot stress this enough. don’t spend hours just writing! take breaks in between, distract yourself with something else. sometimes your mind just needs a break from writing for a bit.