#i dont interpret him as one per se

[cherpiet]

Digital God

i see a lot of people depicting caine as a god , i thought it was neat

also i tried to humanise caine- hope it looks ok :' D

[cruciomione]

"fixing" the panic attack scene to be more platonic ™

im extremely active on twt and have been noticing a sydcarmy tweet go viral multiple times a week (like w thousands of interactions its crazy), and its really great to see how much people love and see it for this ship. recently carmys panic attack scene went viral again, and naturally, some ppl gave their piece about how we are all dumb for interpreting it as romantic. that sydney represents his love for his job or his duty to the restaurant (*sigh*).

this scene imo, is the most concrete proof of this ship. i can excuse (not really) interpreting every interaction between them thus far as platonic but this scene....i just refuse. this is gonna be a long post, not analyzing the scene per se because i can't possibly say anything that hasn't already been said but more "fixing" the scene to fit the narrative of antis, and i hope in doing so really shows there's no other way to interpret this scene as other than romantic. again its gonna be a long post bc im just ranting and i think i will lose my mind if i dont type this out.

lets go.

so first off i like to think of this scene as an equation/experiment. simply a problem that needs to be solved.

problem/reason of panic = ...we will discuss this...

solution # 1 = claire -> failed

solution # 2 = sydney -> worked.

Problem/Reason

s02e09 opens up with carmy and claire finally consummating their relationship, with an interesting song choice might i add and carmy dissociating, looking sad, or broken (???) after. because many have said carmy pulling memories of sydney from his psyche to calm down have to do with work i always remember that, it really doesnt make any sense?

carmy is clearly having a panic attack due to him not being "fixed" as soon as he made it official with claire. he felt pressure from his family both currently and in the past to date claire because she is amazing and perfect. add mikey also being a part of that crowd, and carmy so desperately trying to connect with him when he cannot, is why i think he looks so despondent after that scene. i truly think he thought he would be a changed person after everything with claire and when that didn't happen he flipped...

we know this is the reason bc his panic attack starts with their sex scene and the lyric "I dont know" from strange currencies by REM.

this isn't to say that he isn't nervous or stressed about the soft open but its clear that he's not having a panic attack about work nor have we ever seen him have a work-related panic attack (correct me if I'm wrong). in s1 he has one or two due to him greiving his brother.

platonic fix: To make it about work I would have added scenes like when Carmy started that stove fire in braciole, his meltdown in review, some scenes of his horrible time at EMP, and him grieving his brother. i think these would represent his fear of failure, falling back into old toxic habits pertaining his career, the fear of fostering a toxic work environment like the ny chef and also the idea of "failing" mikey

but theres a reason why none of this occurs bc its not about his job or the opening of the bear. this is explicitly about his personal and romantic love life.

Solution # 1 : Claire

carmy proceeds to try and calm down by thinking of claire through literal rose-coloured glasses...

the music is distorted, he's thinking of his abusive family, he remembers every one pushing him to date claire bc shes a #goodthing.

again...this is not about his job and wouldnt make sense to think of sydneys place in his work life as a soultion to his clear personal problem....

platonic fix: in the story of carmys love life claire and sydney act as narrative foils. they have been compared and contrasted for all of s2. my platonic fix for this would be making the NY chef this first "solution" of a work-related panic attack. he represents a horrible time in his life but also represents a time when carmy was at the height of his career. when carmy gets locked in the walk in and has his monologue, its alluded to that he will revert back to that mind set in order to not let everyone down.

NY chef abused him for so long, it makes sense that carmys psyche would readily go back to his insults and the time he himself was an isolated 'psycho' bc it yielded results.

nothing is black and white and i DO think sydney represents a healthier approach to the toxic mess that is the culinary world and does represent that for carmy. if the show was invested in that, sydney and the NY chef could be overtly contrasted like sydney and claire have been.

BUT again this isnt about his job and dedication as a chef...thus why he tries to think of claire to solve his personal problem, and it fails.

Solution # 2: Sydney

LMFAOOO.

carmy then in a crazy plot twist starts thinking of his platonic work bestie sydney adamu....the love song dedicated by the show to his relationship with his girlfriend is then made clear highlighting some pretty damning lyrics about desire and love.....all platonic btw. yes you are dumb if you think otherwise (*wink*)

I actually have two platonic fixes for this...

platonic fix # 1: if we only wanted to focus on sydney as a person who calms carmy down because shes his work bestie who represents his responsibilty to the bear and the postive change they are trying effect in the culinary world, i would add scenes where they are...you know actually cooking???

i think its pretty crazy how the memories carmys immediately jump to are ones that have little to do with their jobs. when they first meet (would also like to note that when carmy first laid eyes on Sydney, he forgot she was there for a job, so this is his raw reaction to seeing a pretty girl lol) and when she comes back after she quit and their break up fight.

i would add their scenes in carmys kitchen (even tho this is extremely damning bc they were flirting DOWN - they don't make this easy at all). this represents their collaboration skills and the way they WORK and bounce ideas off of each other seamlessly. specifically the scene about him wanting to give her a star, representing his duty to her and the restaurant.

*and no shade to carmy but if his responsibility to the bear/syd as a co-worker was bothering him this much and calmed him down wouldn't he have just immediately called the fridge guy.....anyways*

platonic fix # 2 (the best one): if i was chris storer and joanna calo and i REALLY wanted to sell it that carmy isnt in love with sydney then i would put every single member of the OG beef crew + Nat to calm him down not just Sydney.

im talking to them laughing at family, carmy giving tina his chefs knife, richie in his new suit, carmys one on one w Marcus/trying his donut, nat telling carmy shes pregnant (signifing rebirth/wanting to rid all the toxic abuse from his family), carmy trying sydney risotto, and her face when he said it was tremendous etc etc...you get the gist

and honestly?

even as i type this out im tearing up a little bit bc that would have been really beautiful. carmy is changing. he can and is getting rid of old toxic habits from his family and the mess that is the culinary industry. things are changing for the better....that would be beautiful....IF his panic attack was about any of these things lol.

and to even look at this scene without this need for symmetry and we entertain the idea of carmy thinking about his job as a solution for his personal problem...carmy has said himself (s02e01) that this isnt fun for him. i dont think that means he hates cooking i kinda disagree with the ppl who think he isnt passionate about it. i just think currently its something that doesnt bring him joy but i do think its something hes starting to or at least could have started to enjoy if he just committed to working with syd...

conclusion

theres a lot of....delusion? denial? straight up bias? yes all of that, going on.

idk what is happening bc this show is really great at being subtle. but i dont know whats more in your face, dumbed down, even a toddler could understand, than this scene. if you dont come out of this understanding that carmy is falling in love/currently in love with Sydney...and i hate using this term..but you just arent media literate.

bonus: bc it makes me laugh and connects the purpose and solutions.

i think we need a Snyder Sydcarmy Cut™ of bolognese and omelette.

the start of the episode is when sydney and carmy fight over claires inclusion in the menu, and also when sydney randomly asks him to define his relationship with Claire. the episode would continue until we get to the table scene.

i think its WILD how as soon as Sydney asks him to define their relationship, carmy starts calling claire his girlfriend. then the show proceeds to insert sydney in their romantic montage, shows her tattoo about heartbreak and someone getting in the way of your relationship...THEN proceeds to have carmy compare these two women in his mind and only calms down after seeing Sydney.

i could talk about this scene for AGES. wheres the straitjacket....

[iron-sides]

HI HELLO i have One small request, could you give me some desertduo fic recs? (like besides yours bc i just all of yours and it made me even Worse) im Unwell abt them

ok i assume u mean like in the life series since all my desertduo fics are life series but !!! i will also be suggesting grand opening of our hearts by @funkily just because well . its sweet i love gay people and fake dating what can i say ?

anyway here are some of my favs !! um heads up every fic i link you today most likely will be at least a little bit slash are because altho the romance isnt what interests me wrt desertduo it is like. very integral to my interpretation of their dynamic as tumblr user mcyt once said. they fucked in that cactus ring. also im sorting these into two categories namely works that make me crazyyy and man that fic sure is fun :) <- lying

works that make me crazyyy: (stuff that indirectly or otherwise inspired my own takes on these fuckers, iirc theyre all canon compliant or the canon setting) um . all of these come with a blanket warning for the canonical end of third life taken to its dramatic saddest including the fight in the cactus ring and grian killing himself, even if none of these per se involve anyone actually permanently dying they definitely get dark 👍 read the tags lol

fireworks exploding in the distance (this writer is just really good in general (altho i couldnt find a tumblr sadly) but this is my favorite lol) its soooooo well um yousee. scarian and grians resistance or otherwise to being touched (explodes)

when the tether snaps the anchor sinks by @eeriefeelingsat3amuwu listen dl!desert duo is sooo interesting to me and i just think this is a really interesting exploration of what the fuck is wrong with them

ashes by @raichett is like ok so first off this whole series is great im user subbed to this author but 2 im so obsessed w this fic i think about it constantly likeee. grian and guilt is such an interesting sort of Thing to me right like he does all this stuff and then he feels sooo guilty . and then he does it again anyway. i want to study him anyway !!! great fic :)

now okay so @sparxwrites sparxwrites is a rec as is because wow !!!! like you can tell when a person has had years to hone their class and sparx clearly has- beware of nsfw tho cos it definitely abounds lol. specific sparx recs, like, my favorites would be here i am, again which is just. its an au where grian and scar win together and this goes exactly as well as you expect :( also! yours were the arms (that the whole world was in) is a last life fic a mumscarian polyamory negotiations fic and its just really good ! i really liked it lol im not much of a last life girly but theres something to the way all these characters so clearly know each other better than we know them thats sooo good and its only 1231 words so its not too long to read in an afternoon so like go read it ! and then come !!!! about it with me bc its sooooooooooo well i dont even know how to say it or i would its great tho

ok now for fics thats are ust !! :) <- mostly they are less :) and more :(( but shhh these are slightly less thinky but no less mwah !! (+ less warnings (still read the tags) + they lean more romantic)

mad scientists can be a little hot. as a treat. by @romanocheese this is exactly what it sounds like, takes place just after grians triple kill w the tnt minecart in third life

coliseum by @artanogon is a steampunk au where pretty much everyone save dogwarts is allied trying to bring down the red king ! unfinished but the tension is sooo high like. the mystery, the suspense, ive literally watched third life i know how this ends and yet here i am on the edge of my seat waiting for each update !!

my heart has been half asleep all my life is a series by @sciencechicken + if i was reccing one fic from it that would be i dont think i could stand to be where you dont see me which is a double life fic that definitely belongs in the other category (grian assumes after scar spent all of DL episode 1 ignoring him that he doesnt want to be soulmates) however since im reccing the full series (its all so good im subscribed to it lol) + the literal second fic is vampire scar/blood drinking/making out... im putting it here lol but its really wonderful i enjoy it greatly

friend of the devil by @mochiwrites and @idioddyssey ok all of the series mochi does are great but this is the one im currently avoiding reading the latest update on because i am soooo invested and i have a terrible feeling something is about to happen . :((( regarding well i shant say because spoilers like i know its gonna be great im just nervous lmao anyway its a mumscarian crime au and it is a delight to read ! recently it has featured tubbo as scars office aide and also well i shant say (spoilers etc) but yeah very fun i really enjoy it :D

l'appel du vide by @pixelfun20 is basically what if grian right after winning 3l was plopped into hermitcraft! i just really enjoy this kind of premise tbh it hasnt been updated since last june sadly but its. a lighter???? read than what else is here! well maybe not lighter but fewer people die iirc

and last but not least: @atherix midnight series which is soooooo like well ok so its mumscarian kind of like fantasy au? featuring vampire mumbo socerer/elf scar and whatever the fuck is up with grian and well ok i am rooting for it to become mumbo/scar/grian/cub actually because well. read and find out? but just trust me ok this series is one of my favorites of the ones im currently following bc of the way it sets up and then pays off conflict-- like, grian'll do something i wont specify due to spoilers and immediately i know that by the time the fic is done there is going to be SUCH a nice catharsis about this !! also the plot of the dsmp is just kind of like playing out as a sidequest for scars adopted son tubbo which i love <- former dsmp girly moment

ok i lied im also gonna plug mochi's series solem et lunam really fast because i like it !! basically grian is the sun god mumbo is the moon god they have a forbidden romance until the unthinkable happens (read the tags !!) OKAY ACTUALLY BYE THIS TIME

[sparxwrites]

i think youre one of the best people in terms of character interpretation, and youre who i go to when i want Really Good characterization, *especially* when it comes to flaws and how it affects a characters actions. that said, do you have any thoughts about c!scar's flaws, how they impact situations, relationships with others, and actions? you dont have to say anything, but its something im curious to hear your thoughts on

scar, i think, is almost the opposite of grian - in that, despite enjoying playing the bad guy (and doing it very well!), he cares too much.

i don't mean to say he's not, upon occasion, genuinely villainous. he is! he's sometimes very mean, largely when he gets carried away with being dramatic and camp. sometimes it's something a little bit darker, especially when he knows that's his role in the narrative - and, at all times, he's obedient to the narrative.

but he's not, per se, good at keeping it up. he cares about his friends too much. he cares what people think. he cares about people liking him. the flashes of "evil" in the life series, in his mayor arc, in the king ren arc, are undercut with moments of desperation to not really be the bad guy.

as mayor, he's happy to play the villain, but the minute he might actually be the villain he has to be pushed into continuing by bdubs. he's happy to make bdubs and grian fight it out while he laughs in third life, but the minute it's him and grian he's laying his life down so he doesn't have to actually maybe hurt grian. in last life, he hoards lives and is going to 'go it alone', but he's miserably lonely the whole time and barely manages to muster up a threat towards those who've wronged him even on red.

he is, fundamentally, soft in a way i think scares him. in the same way that grian is something inherently selfish and cruel and kind of shitty playing desperately at being a decent human being, scar has this very soft, tender heart that he desperately barricades away behind the walls of whatever mask he has on at the current moment. his kindness is hidden behind whatever role the narrative demands of him - and, so often, that role is something unkind.

and scar plays that role willingly! he really does. he loves the drama. he loves the trickery. he loves the laughter. but, the whole time, there's this sense of this tender underbelly he's being forced to guard with plate armour the whole time, even though he'd much more naturally be wearing his heart on his sleeve.

[roobylavender]

im fairly new to batcomics so forgive me for this dumb ask/being uninformed, but do you ever have like. doubt in your reading for bruce as a character, or feel bleak about it (?) im aware you dont really like the reading of him as an abuser, but from what ive seen he most often does emotional neglect/distance and parentification of a child, which /are still/ abuse, and this happens very consistently. from what i can tell there is more evidence of him being a bad parent than otherwise. people often say hes incapable of having a child without messing them up beyond repair, and from what ive seen that rings true😭 i also know you said u dont like alot of his modern portrays, but these types of abuse also occur in older comics as well from what i can tell. i myself often have doubt (perhaps this is because i havent read everything yet and im still informing myself on his character)-that maybe this /is/ just his character, bc of HOW consistent the pattern is. idk if im really asking a specific question. im more so wondering what your thoughts are, like on parentificafion of his kids and emotional neglect/distance, would this be different if DC portrayed him more empathetically/based on your reading, and/or is he just fundamentally unable to parent someone without abusing them like some ppl say. i understand i may have just opened a whole can of worms lol but im so curious

you are totally fine! canon is quite overwhelming in both volume and scope, and conversations about bruce being an abuser definitely dominate at present (not wrongfully btw), so i don't blame people for ascribing to them early on. i will say at least from what i have read (and i will admit here that my pre-bronze age reading is not nearly as consistent as my post-bronze age reading so i have kept less track of specific writers and runs there) that i think the aspects that largely define present interpretations of bruce as an abuser tend to take from canon post-crisis onward. so that's probably why in a sense it looks like bruce has "always" been an abuser, bc realistically speaking if you're a new dc reader it makes most sense to start with the aftermath of the crisis and go from there. most conversations about "canon" tend to be about post-crisis canon (ie what has taken place on new earth/prime earth) and usually when you're looking up batman reading lists they will start with year one rather than with anything in pre-crisis. the crisis was nearly forty years ago after all! it covers a lot of territory and unless you're a really dedicated comic reader with a lot of time on your hands i don't think most people have the time or energy to go further back (to no fault of their own obv)

all that being said. pre-crisis canon is obv not monolithic in nature and there are definitely blogs out there who have dedicated themselves to compiling individual issues or moments they would personally interpret as evocative of abusive behaviors on bruce's behalf. i don't think that's inherently wrong to do per se and to each their own reading but my primary divide with that practice is that it's often performed within a vacuum. to me the most important thing when it comes to being a comics reader (or any kind of reader really) is taking into account real life context and genre conventions. how do the politics or culture of the time shape the way a given narrative is written and with what tone it's written? all of that is crucial to incorporate into an analysis. i'm going to use a pretty famous example of why. world's finest comics #153 (1965) is the origin of a pretty famous panel you may be familiar with:

on its face this looks pretty bad (and it'll actually factor into when i discuss parentification later) but contextually this issue imagined an alternate reality wherein superman was responsible for the death of bruce's parents and subsequently became the face of bruce's relentless revenge and pursuit of criminal activity. obv that's not a bruce who actually exists in reality and this was merely written for the sake of exaggeration and entertainment but it can also give rise to some interesting questions about what the writer here was specifically trying to satirize and why. primarily it's obv trying to poke some fun at the idea of bruce's crusade to begin with (which i am sure most people would agree was quite cartoonish in the early decades of dc despite the more layered portrayal and analysis it was afforded in later decades). but what's also pertinent here is the sort of "natural" exaggeration of bruce's dynamic with dick. in even as far back as the original bob kane comics, bruce and dick had a dynamic where dick was comedically portrayed as the more morally responsible one of the two. it wasn't much reason for concern back then bc the stakes weren't nearly as high and dick's tendency to question some of bruce's decisions (eg his tendency to always let selina go or to allow some villains to die horrifically) was almost always played off with a laugh. but the foundation was still there and you can recognize it in these panels despite that foundation obv being taken to an extreme. all of which is to say: the portrayal of bruce as an abuser largely depends on what a writer is willing to exaggerate, and why, and how. this issue was obv a one-off with no relevance to actual canon but it was nonetheless a peek into what that dynamic between bruce and dick could look like given a writer willing to pursue a darker tone and to explore the potential extremes of what was on its face merely a gag

the novelty of cape comics is that they are a place to explore anything and everything. extremes are possible bc no writer/artist and no editorial staff are ever on a book forever. what creatives want to explore with what they're given can hugely vary esp if a particular editorial staff is liberal enough to allow that exploration. and i think it's fair to say that a lot of writers are interested by the idea of that what if the above issue explored. not out of malice per se but certainly out of a growing curiosity as to how far disbelief with respect to the internal reality of cape comics can actually be suspended. the big question for batman in the 80s was whether having a kid sidekick constituted child abuse. this was primarily explored via the starlin run that ended in a death in the family. and obv following that we got the triple whammie of year three, a lonely place of dying, and knightfall. these arcs to me were what really cemented the foray into parentification in batman comics. the fledgling idea of it had always existed in a sense. dick was the more morally upright character of the two known for chiding some of bruce's decisions. he was the leader of the original teen titans, who historically demanded more respect and support of their mentors (i do not think it all inconsequential that dick and roy were developed so closely). and increasingly as we moved from the bronze age into the modern age we saw a dick who simultaneously desired to be independent of bruce and to be recognized by him. so the components to take that fledgling idea to its natural extreme were all there. editorial merely had to create the right circumstances to mesh those components together, and those circumstances were the buildup to and execution of the death of jason todd

i really do not think it can be underestimated in any sense what an enormous impact that event has had on the entire bat mythos at large. beyond utterly shattering the readers' suspension of disbelief wrt sidekicks' place in cape comics what a death in the family did was create an unavoidable void. this was not an event that could merely be skimmed over and moved on from. the aftermath and the consequences had to be dissected to their fullest extent otherwise batman editorial risked falling into the exact same problem the crisis was written to avoid: circular and aimless continuity. everything had to have concrete, forward moving direction and the consequences had to matter long term for there to be meaningful character development. so when you created the circumstances for a child dying bc batman had him gallivanting around as a masked vigilante, he had to retreat into his shell and utterly fall apart from the guilt of it all while everyone else fought like hell to keep him standing. it was pretty riveting and compelling. knightfall is probably one of my favorite arcs ever despite how utterly boring it is bc the introspection into bruce and his breakdown following jason's death was superb. but the circumstances it created for everyone else in bruce's vicinity to act like his emotional crutch while he took the next decade to recover obv had significant long-lasting consequences. dick had to be relegated to acting as the go-to family man rather than ever again pursuing his own dreams as he had in the 80s and early 90s. when jason came back he had to deal with all of bruce's grief and guilt being projected onto him while his own concerns went unheard. tim had to spend his teenage years deluding himself into believing he was the only one who could hold gotham together while bruce was falling apart. cass had to expend an enormous effort trying to prove herself to bruce bc all of the built up circumstances from the last decade drove him to insane paranoia about having sidekicks at all. and damian had to deal with whatever bruce had become by the time all of that was over

all of this to say: do i think bruce was always meant to become an abuser? not really. but did editorial avail themselves of and relentlessly pursue narrative circumstances that allowed that path to be realistically taken? absolutely. it's ultimately a debate of whether or not you agree they should have taken that direction long term. and i know it may look like i would probably be a hard no on that but personally i find myself more in the middle between these two imaginary camps. bc i'm not unsatisfied with what knightfall explored. i found it hugely interesting to explore the natural conclusion of bruce taking all burdens upon his shoulders and making himself highly vulnerable to collapse bc he refused to open up to anyone out of a fear of burdening them in turn. but knightfall was also followed by contagion and legacy and no man's land and murderer and fugitive. it was bruce taking one hit after another until he was utterly ripped to the core and had to start over from scratch and ig that's what i fundamentally disagree with. i don't think they needed to have gone any further than where knightfall took him and to me the end of knightfall should have signaled that bruce was ready to turn a new leaf where he could healthily balance his emotional commitments without letting them be guided by fear. publishing comics takes a long time so i think people often forget that despite there being a decade worth of comics between the events i immediately listed above what actually transpired in real time in the pages was two years or less. if we want to go all of the way back to a death in the family and account for that as well it becomes four years. four years isn't at all a long time nor is it unsalvageable. but by the time knightfall was over i truly think editorial was so obsessed with its own ideas on exploring bruce's collapse that it failed to see little else in the way of that. everything became about how people responded to him rather than about how bruce responded to the world. ironically by being the main character of his books he became the maker of his own demise. bc everything and everyone had to relate to him and his problems first before they could ever have any of their own. that is why keeping him in a perpetual state of emotional collapse has been so profitable. it is the easiest way to tell a story without ever having to make an effort on anyone else in it

note: one clarification i forgot to make earlier is that everything i wrote above is specifically with respect to bruce’s emotional abuse. i personally think there is zero justification for bruce’s physical abuse and that it can’t actually be extrapolated from anything about him as a character at the core, so whenever writers resort to it in the pages i dismiss it completely

[hajihiko]

Do you think Soda has PTSD from his dad?

(Wonder if u two are mind linked lol)

Short answer: I'm not sure about flashbacks or other PTSD symptoms since Im not an expert on it; *I* dont usually have it in mind per se, but objectively it's very possible and understandable.

(Warning: gonna talk about parental abuse. Obviously. But only in the context of the effects it might have, no real descriptions of violence)

Long answer: I think Soudas relationship with his dad is one of those messy, awful, complicated ones that you might not really understand until years later, when you've gotten some distance.

I think he says that he used to stay home during field trips and class events, because his dad was kinda poor and Souda didn't want him to have to field the expenses; but instead of just saying that, he just kinda. Didn't go. And got beat for it. So he might have not felt safe just saying "I'm gonna skip school because it's cheaper" (not to generalize but, Fathers and feeling like they're not considered Head of House / Full Provider, amiright). A little bit of "I gotta do things right and if I dont do them right then it's bad news but it's fine because I'll just do it better next time".

I think he wanted, generally, to have a good relationship with his dad and be helpful- trying to save money, helping out at their workshop/garage, just kinda hanging out, etc. Like he actually wanted to and thought he could have a great father/son thing going on if he just tried a little harder or did things a little differently, changed himself a little, never really thinking of talking it out or telling anyone- because it's not so bad and he can totally handle it! And it's not like he gets his ass beat every day it's only occasionally (when he fucks up) and in between, they actually have a good time together sometimes! His dad is like, almost his friend! And his dad does keep him fed and clothed and supports his passion (and his very good at reminding Souda that he should be thankful) so it's NO Big Deal. Just like his ex-best-friend throwing him under the bus was no big deal, just as long as no one starts ignoring him or leaving him out or kicking him out of the house its FINE.

That's why he talks about it so casually, because it's fine, and its only once he has enough distance from the situation and gets to hear different perspectives that he's like, oh, that was messed up actually.

Like, Hajime and Sonia both seem shocked, but they come from such a different background so its okay that they dont get it- but Fuyuhiko gets furious about it too, and while his parents sucked they never actually beat him- and Akane has been through A Damn Lot but even she seems really uncomfortable with the idea that okay yeah Soudas dad beat the shit out of him a few times (it's the Big Sister in her).

And just like, with time and good friends around, I can see Souda having moments where he just remembers something he used to think nothing of and goes "wait that was fucked up actually??" Like, they're just fishing or something, and he goes "hey... did your parents ever try to convince you something didn't happen when it probably definitely did?" And depending on who he asks the answer is different, but generally its "nnnno?" and he's like "oh ..... that's kinda messed up isnt it?" Yes, Souda, it is messed up.

And he might have reactions and ideas that he didn't think about too much when he was still in his home situation, like his general fearfulness and jumpiness, being convinced people might turn on him, being kind of a people-pleaser sometimes, flinching excessively around certain noises or movements, being quick to cower and cover his head, etc, quick to latch onto people who are any kind of nice to him. Stuff that's just kind of his personality by now, but he probably got it from somewhere.

I'm not an expert tho and I won't armchair diagnose or anything, this is just my personal interpretation.

(According to A Therapist that stuff is not classified as PTSD symptoms if it's not accompanied by flashbacks or painful memories / stuff you actively try not to remember, but what do I know)

[somedayslater]

Chapter 408 - random thoughts

Ah my i almost never go here, but those last chapters are really merciless ! I just want to write random thoughts, especially after reading @5x-ra​ own analysis (thanks for your post @5x-ra​, really interesting) !!

1. I dont understand why people are saying She Li is a coward for running. He’s not just running away -because if he was, he would have disappeared and would not have waited for He Tian to try and ambush him. He’s just not an idiot ; what’s the point for him to stay around and get his face smashed ? The difference in level in fighting is clear, he doesnt stand a chance against HT. HT was born and trained as a fighter ; isnt HT the one who is cheating, choosing a way to resolve the conflict with his fists, knowing he can only win X) ?

She Li’s shtick is manipulating people, getting under their skin, planning in advance. It was never brute force, and we rarely see him fighting -he uses other people for that. It’s not bad per se, it just means he’s intelligent ; too bad he uses it for nefarious purposes lol. If he was a nice character, I’m sure people would find it clever for him to run away from the fight scene, find a weapon, and ambush HT. But yeah because his role is to be the antagonist and because his main goal is just to make other people miserable, it’s hard to be impressed by this, instead most of the readers wants to see his face smashed and for him to rip the consequences of his actions lol.

2. I think in the scene where Mo smashes his face from behind, SL is livid, not necessarily afraid ! But yeah, the interpretation of him being afraid is also strongly supported by the manwha. But I think She Li must be thinking, “how dare you do that to me ? how dare you oppose me, now of all time ?” Especially, because Mo do the same thing to SL that SL did to the old man who tried to kill Mo. It’s an ironic twist of the same situation.I’m not sure about SL feelings towards Mo, maybe he he loves in his own twisted way, in a really “i own him” way -he even said almost this sentence a few times. So, for She Li, Mo attacking him is like your own dog biting you after you hit him. SL think he has a right to mistreat Mo : he owns Mo, it’s his possession, and so if he beats him to teach him his place, it’s just rough love kind of. But for Mo to react back, it’s a betrayal. And that’s why SL doesnt hesitate : he tries to actually kill Mo, like @5x-ra​ said piercing him in the head ??? wtf. Like an owner hitting his dog too many times, killing it in a fit of rage, because his dog dared to bite back, SL honestly think Mo deserves to die for opposing him. man...

3. Honestly, isnt this story a story about how adults fail the children again and again lol ? There’s no adults around, except HC and Qiu who are like “ok do what you want, just no killing”. I know it’s because the manhwa is destined for a young audience (? maybe), and a young audience identify themselves with the protagonists and so doesnt want annoying parents taking care of them. Even tho, like what the hell haha

4. Altho i do love the last few chapters, am I the only one who is getting kind of annoyed by this “damsel in distress” version of Guan Shan ? We fell in love with MGS because he was a nasty, feisty, dirty ball of fluff. It was the contradictions that was enchanting : he try to fight innocent jyan yi WITH HIS GROUP just because, he throws a rock at ZZX head, he insults everyone and refuse to socialise, he’s mean to the girls who just say hello to him. He insults HT non-stop, often times it’s fair (HT was really cynical at the time), sometimes it’s hypocrite : why cry because HT is mean to him when literally he ambushed JY over nothing ? He’s proud and think he’s better than others because he’s not a hypocrite, but then he have nothing to show off either. And then at the same time he’s oddly loyal, righteous, and honest. It was what attracted HT. And the appeal to their relationship was this pull and push. Mo was as strong as HT in this psychological game.

But since a few chapters, Mo stopped pushing so much. And it’s nice ! It means there’s actually a relationship being constructed between HT and Mo. But then it became really unbalanced. Because HT continues to pull, and Mo just do... nothing. He’s blushing and not looking in the eyes. He does this bc HT wants to, he does that because HT says so... ok he makes a (weak) scene, and thats all. He’s like loosing his character ? He’s becoming more and more passive, he’s a character where things are being done to him and not a character who is doing things.

And it makes me afraid ! because the same thing happened to ZZX and JY. Remember : we all liked zhanyi because because it was two strong characters, with different feelings, desires, behaviours, etc. JY was always the most active one in the relationship, but ZZx had a personality : remember the confession scene ? the kidnapping scene ? You could really feel who ZZX was. And then, once he began to reciprocate JY’s feelings, his character... disappeared.

Like honestly i dont mean to offend, but ZZX right now ? He’s a street lamp. A sexy, stylish streetlamp, but a streetlamp. He could disappear from the story, you could replace by a photography for JY to droll over, it would be the same. And it makes me sad ! But that’s the reason i’m totally disengaged from zhanyi now. Zhanyi is : Jyan Yi does something ->ZZX is.... here I guess. Once again, a character where things are done to him. He’s just kind of hanging out, and we know JY care about him because JY says he cares about him, but there’s nothing to show for it. It’s been years I think, where all ZZX is doing is sighing, patting JY shoulders, oh and last chapter he ran in the hospital. Where he still is probably.

And I’m so afraid the same thing is going to happen to Mo :0 !! Like, now he mellows and kind of reciprocate HT’s feelings, so he’s just becoming someone who stand by, cry, and run. The main character is HT, and Mo is here to look at him. He’s loosing his personality !! I dont want him to disappear. I dont want Old Xian to do the active one who initiates all the actions x the passive one who says “ahh” “ooh” when the active one do something. Please OX dont do that T_T

Hoping the trend will change soon... even if Mo doesnt want to fight anymore, or scream anymore, he doesnt have to become boring. It’s a strong fit to socialize with others when all your life you have been shunned, to learn to trust and love again, there’s a way of depicting it where Mo keeps his strong, fierce personality, without it meaning he’s automatically reverting back to fighting and insulting.

PHEW here it is, my two cents.

[heliianth]

I'm not the same asker, but may I inquire about the opinions on Sonic you think are unpopular? If you're uncomfortable still then... What do you think of Silver haha

im not uncomfortable per se, just dont want to rain on other peoples parade. i usually make characterization posts looking for feedback and similar viewpoints, and bc i know my sonic opinions are unpopular at least from what i can see i wont receive that so it makes this subject offputting for me. but u asked so i shall deliver

im not a huge fan of the interpretation that sonic internalizes or suppresses everything, or considers his "hero role" restrictive or burdensome in the sense that he cant show weakness, etc... maybe im just an adventurehead and new games have more basis for this interpretation, but it kind of feels like the fandom exaggerating traits in order to make sonic an interesting pov character when hes really not meant to be...? thats not to say sonic isnt interesting in general, but i dont think hes equipped for carrying a narrative by himself so usually people try to give him some deeper traumatic internal world to explore when i personally dont think its there, lol. ive said before that i think the most interesting sonic stories to me arent really about Him so much as his effect on other characters and thats why im so mehhh abt this take.

thats not to say sonic doesnt withhold information about himself. in sa2 he very blatantly lies to amy about his thoughts and oftentimes tries to keep others out of harms way by doing stuff himself. but i dont think this is martyrdom or needing to "fulfill his role as a hero" so much as him just feeling some responsibility as, for a while, the oldest kid in the friend group. he doesnt consider himself a hero but hes aware that younger characters, like amy and tails, look up to him so he doesnt want to talk to them like he would a peer. he is generally more serious with characters like knuckles who are around his same age and do not hold him to this pedestal. we see as tails and amy grow he begins to be more relaxed and less "big kid needing to remember his audience" now that they arent as young or star-struck.

splitting up this paragraph to avoid more wall of text but in regards to this ^^^ i also think most of it is just that... hes a private guy. he doesnt particularly want ppl to know whats going on in his brain all the time, has a personal space bubble, doesnt hang around the public often and lots of times doesnt talk much in very social situations. tho i wont knock ppl for trying to find a deeper more psychological reason for it, i dont personally think there is one... hes just an introverted dude. some ppl just dont like talking abt themselves and get awkward abt it.

also what i think of silver? not sure. i think he has good potential... but sonic teams fear of 06 after it flopped so hard didnt let him grow to meet it. i think his arc in that game was unfinished and suffered from the timeline reset. but i also dont remember lots from his story, so i may have to revisit it. i like him in those early days like in rivals, but im afraid to say i dont find him very fascinating nowadays :( sorry! i get why others do tho

[domestick-clairvoyante]

hello dear, i dont know if you answer asks but i freaking out.

i had a dream abou this guy i like. i was out eating in a weird restaurant-bar and he was sitting a few tables away from me. a party of drunk young adults waltzes in and they start making a fuss. at some point some guys start making fun of me and threaten violence but he gets up and starts defending me, untill the guys left.he then grabs me and we walk away holding hands. we get to like a quiet place and he agoes to leave and says something along the lines of "these idiots, if they didnt know why they were messing with" and i jokingly bowed and said "my hero" or smth and he turned shy and left.

if that was it id be fine BUT THEN i was walking and i stumbled uppon a mutual friend talking with his(the guy i like)s sister and they kinda knew what happened and our friend was teasing me and the guy-i-likes sister said "thats how he is, he will let you look but wont allow you to touch him" WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK AFTER THAT HOLLY SHT

if you can help me i would appreichiate it greatly dear. i hope youre having a lovely day :)

hello, dear anon!

i do, indeed, answer asks. i hope you're not freaking out as much now; it sounds like this has been stressful! i hope this interpretation will be of some consolation.

a disclaimer: it can be difficult to interpret dreams as a whole, primarily because there are so many different meanings and symbols to be gleaned from them. please take my interpretation with a grain of salt!

if you don't want to read through the whole interpretive process, scroll down to 'In a Rush?" <3

as always, we'll start by looking at basic symbols as a foundation:

the guy you're interested in: crushes are a relatively easy symbol to interpret. they often represent what you think of them in the waking world, alongside longing and excitement to experience new possibilities. he likely reflects the current state of your relationship with this person.

the restaurant/bar: restaurants and bars usually represent social connections and choices that must be made going forwards.

seating: seating and distance are generally quite important! they indicate how close you are with the people around you and how much of an impact they have on you currently.

the (drunk) young adults: while dreaming of youth often goes hand in hand with new beginnings (and insecurity, woo) the mix of youth and drunkenness creates an interesting combination. drunkenness indicates irresponsibility and loss of control. you'll see how these two play into each other further down :)

hand-holding: again, the theme of new beginnings seems to be prominent here. handholding can also represent a bond between people and intimate relationships!

passersby: let's break this down. you mention a mutual friend and a sister. this mutual friend could represent a pre-existing connection, understanding and a desire for emotional closeness. sisters in dreams (i referred to the dictionary of dreams for this one) often signify fortune. while i don't necessarily believe in omens, per se, you're more than welcome to interpret it as such.

now, because you included snippets of statements, we can weave those in with the symbols!

the statements, in question:

"these idiots, if they didnt know why they were messing with"

this sentence as a whole radiates protectiveness. perhaps you desire protection, or you simply want to feel safe.

"thats how he is, he will let you look but wont allow you to touch him"

in all honesty, i'm not entirely sure what to make of this statement. my best guess is that you feel the guy you're interested in hasn't been as close to you as you'd like him to be and that you desire a more tangible connection.

now, let’s put this all into context. it sounds like you're panicking! which is completely normal, given the situation. but it seems like this has been a time of uncertainty for you, so you've found yourself second-guessing your thoughts more often than not. your doubt appears to have manifested itself here.

💫🌟In a Rush? Or Simply Not a Fan of Long Texts? Read Just the Interpretation Below🌟💫

given the context and the symbols, i think that the general theme of your dream surrounds a desire for intimacy and new beginnings, however, these desires have been restricted by your doubt.

you are longing and excited to experience new possibilities with your crush. however, definitive social choices need to be made going forwards. currently, the guy you're interested in has become a major part of your life. you seem to be getting closer to this guy (emotionally), and you want to form a more permanent relationship. you crave safety and protection, and you may feel he can give it to you. however, that doubt is still present. while you want a new beginning, you may feel irresponsible for doing so; your fear of rejection and lack of control over the situation is causing you to hesitate in taking further steps.

i found the distance between the two of you to be an intriguing aspect of this interpretation. you went from sitting apart -> to defending each other -> to holding hands -> to speaking with one another -> and then to him getting shy and leaving. it's almost like you're running circles around each other; being shy and coming to each other's aid when you need it, then reverting back to that shyness when you get too close.

there is a bond present with this person. you crave an intimate relationship and emotional intimacy. understanding is the ultimate end goal for you, but your fear of rejection isn't allowing you to get closer to him.

if you'd like to take this dream as a good omen? go ahead. i won't stop you. this may be just the push you need. but you are neglecting the doubt and fear that you feel. my best advice at the moment is to get to the root of this fear and find a way to face it if you can. this is a time to reflect <3

i'm rooting for you! and i hope this helps - let me know if you need any clarification :)

[nakunakunomi]

Hazel hi! I see you added twst to your fandoms and your box is open soooo 👀 can I ask for some headcanons for Malleus. Azul and Vil where they get confessed to? Maybe while they were trying to figure out how to/when to/if they should confess? Idk I'm just here for fluff and laughs. Thanks if you do this! 💜 - Lisa

First twst Request! Keep em coming UwU, in the meantime I’ll just share my brainrot with y’all without anyone asking for it. These are becoming more and more broken up scenario’s than actual HC, and they are a little different from your request, you’ll see. Hope you dont mind! Sowwy! I Even left the bullet points away cause they just didn’t seem right. 

Confessing to Malleus, Azul, Vil 

2nd person, GN reader, no warnings, just fluff. Only warning is that these are LONG. Vil and Azul under the cut. 

Malleus Draconia

Malleus had been spending a lot of time with you lately, even seeking you out at moments he felt like it had been too long since he last saw you. He wasn’t too sure of his feelings until Lilia pointed them out to them. It was a little strange, and he wasn’t too sure how to go about it. He’d never felt like this before. Sure, he wanted to be closer to other people, but like this? All new. 

You had been noticing him spending more time with you too. It was a welcome change of pace, as you had developed feelings for him pretty early on in your friendship. But with how socially awkward and out of touch Malleus sometimes could be, you didn’t want to ruin what you had by potentially pushing him away with too intense a feeling on your side.

But, lately, he had been seeking you out more often than the other way around. Even going to more public events at the school - you being the one to make sure an invitation got extended to him in the first place. 

It made your heart swell. All the little things that had changed ever since you met him for the first time. How he initially kept both physical and mental distance, but now allowed you close in both ways, sharing thoughts and conversations, but also sharing small touches. Nothing that could be interpreted as too romantic per se, but definitely different from the way he treated most other people.

He was noticing it too, on your side. The little smiles when you spent time with him, the way you closed your eyes when you listened to him telling about his hometown. The way you initially pulled away from accidental touches, as if a jolt of electricity just coursed through your body, but now you were actually leaning into him whenever it happened. And he found himself like it more and more whenever that happened.  

He had been picking up on signals for a while now, but it was only when Lidia helped him by actually putting it into words, that he realized just how long he might have been ignoring your true feelings. And he was now worrying that he might have sent you the wrong signals by never really reacting to your advances. If that’s what they truly were, really, even now he wasn’t 100% sure. 

And now he was seeking you out to finally put his feelings into words, preferably right after class, so no chores or duties or homework could be occupying you just yet. 

Little did he know that you were walking around campus as well, trying to find him to finally make it clear to him how you really felt. Subtelty and fear thrown out of the window. You weren’t sure just how much longer you could take it, and you were pretty sure that even if he were to reject you, he’d still have you around if you’d want that. You really considered yourself at least good friends by now. 

Malleus couldn’t find you in your dormroom, where he was expecting to find you. He started walking around campus, ears and eyes focused on trying to spot your figure. He was repeating the words he wanted to say over and over, a little louder than a whisper. Since most people kept their distance anyway, there was no danger of anyone that didn’t matter overhearing, unless- 

“Why are you repeating that you love me in that strange whisper-tone?”

Busted. Malleus turned around, seeing you with an amused smirk on your face. The smirk however was in sharp contrast with how your hands seemed to be shaking. Nerves. 

“Well, y/n, I was practising to say that to you. But I guess since you overheard, I no longer actually need to say it?” 

You laughed. “Well, I was actually about to say the same to you. So why don’t we find someplace now, and repeat ourselves? Just to get the message across?”

Vil Schoenheit

Rook found himself in an annoying position. Sure, he was fine helping out his housewarden confess to the person he’d had his eyes on for quite some time. If anything, it could almost be considered one of his duties as a vice-housewarden.

What he was not prepared for, however, was you coming up to him to help him with the exact same thing. Two lonely hearts, both yearning to confess and asking for his help and advice? With the way things were looking right now, neither of you needed any assistance, just a little push in the right direction, and what more could he do than play a perfect undercover role. No one else but him would be able to play cupid that well, with his perfect aim to shoot arrows right through both your hearts. 

Helping Vil was easy, he was mostly requiring assistance in finding the right words. Rook and his elaborate knowledge of literature and poetry could help him pick the perfect metaphors to help Vil explain why the two of you would be a perfect match. 

Helping you proved to be a little harder. You see, you wanted to confess as fast as possible now that you had made up your mind. But Rook knew that Vil was trying to perfectly plan this all out, and he didn’t want to ruin that, thus he had to stall you a little, giving you all kinds of reasons why you shouldn’t be alone with the man of your dreams right now. 

“He’s having a beauty sleep.” “He’s doing his hair.” “He has to prepare for an audition.” “He’s getting ready for a shoot.” 

You were getting sick of it. Ever since you told Rook you wanted help confessing to Vil, he had been sabotaging you it seemed, and you were almost regretting asking him for help at all. So far, none of the advice had even been useful, besides maybe the encouragement he seemed to give you initially. He gave you hope that you wouln’t be rejected, and honestly that was all you needed to get to it, before insecurities got the better of you and you started doubting again. 

You were making your way to the biggest room in the Pomifiore dorm, having spotted Rook going in with Vil, probably to assist with one thing or the other. But he wasn’t there to stop you from going in, and that’s all that mattered. The plan was simple enough. Knock, go in, demand to have Vil alone for a little while and then confess, hopefully be out within ten minutes with a date. 

You were determined not to let anyone stop you. Which is why both the blond-haired men were shocked when the door swung open rather violently, not even giving either of them time to say something after the brief knocking. 

“Vil, I need to talk to you. Alone” 

“Sure, y/n.” Vil was quick to regain composure, unlike Rook who was looking as if you’d just ruined a surprise. “Leave us alone for a while, will you?” 

Vil looked at Rook, expectantly, telling him to close the door behind him. As he did so, Vil focused all his attention on you. 

“It’s been a while since we’ve talked, y/n” 

“Exactly, Rook has been keeping you away from me ever since-” You closed your mouth just in time, cutting yourself off. This was not the words you wanted to use. But it was too late, curiosity was already piqued. 

“Ever since what, y/n?” Vil seemed interested. He himself had been thinking Rook was keeping you away so he could prepare an appropriate confession in peace, but if there was something going on on your side too, that could explain why he hadn’t seen you in almost two weeks, a presence sorely missed. 

You sighed. Everything was ruined anyway, so you might as well confess everything right there. 

“Ever since I’ve wanted to confess my feelings for you.” 

Long eyelashes fluttered, and a smile appeared on his lips. 

“Well that explains then, y/n”, Vil motioned you to sit next to him, so you’d be closer. A good sign that made you smile as well, “because he’s been doing the same to me, ever since I asked for help to confess my feelings for you.” 

“Looks like both our plans were ruined then.” You smiled up at him. 

“Maybe for the better. What’s all that preparation good for when you can move on straight to the good part? Y/n, when would you have time to go out with me?”

Azul Ashengrotto

There is mutual care, there is mutual love. There are so many little hints that Azul cares for you more than just a friend (and big ones too, like the tweels’ endless teasing that leaves him a strange mix of flustered and frustrated whenever those two are around when you’re with him). 

And yet, nothing is really moving, and you figure out it is probably because he needs some more confirmation. 

And what more confirmation can you give him than actually confessing your feelings yourself? It’s a little nerve-wracking, sure, but the rewards outweigh the risk by a lot, especially since you are about 99% sure that Azul likes you back. 

There are so many ways to go about this, and you weren’t really sure how to go about it. In between the twins’ antics and the trouble Azul had with seeing himself as he really was, insecurity dragging him down even when he put up the bravest of faces, you wanted to make sure he didn’t see it as a joke. It had to be genuine, and private. Just the two of you. 

The best way to get Azul alone was to ask for a wish. But the moment you do so, you can already see the surprise, confusion, and reluctance in his eyes. Deals usually don’t turn out in the favor of those he’s making them with, and while he couldn’t possibly try to scam you, the mere fact that you’re still asking for it is making him feel uneasy in some type of way. 

The expression returns to normal as he regains composure, escorting you to his office, your heart beating wildly in anticipation. 

“What can I help you with?” the statement is very neutral, very businesslike, and your heart drops a little when you realize he probably has no idea what you’re here to do, disappointed that you’re resorting to this sort of contact with him, very well knowing what happens to people making deals. 

Nevertheless, you push on, knowing that this may only add to the surprise of what you’re really about to say. 

“Well,” you started off with a smile, stepping a little closer to him, seeing his gaze already soften behind his glasses, “what I’m asking for is a bit of a package deal, really.” 

He didn’t speak, letting you continue. 

“I wish to be closer to you.” You saw his brows furrow, confusion appearing on his face as it started to dawn on him -this was no regular deal.

“At the very least have a date. Maybe be more than friends?” You laughed a little at his shocked expression. “Of course, whatever terms and conditions you’d like to apply.” 

It was silent for a little while, so you decided to steal his usual words and use them against him. 

“Have we got a deal?” 

He stepped close, his cheeks a deep red color by now, disbelief apparent on his eyes, and carefully grabbed your hands. 

“Are you- is this a-?” You’d never seen him stumble on his words like that before, and laughed a little, kissing his cheek, effectively shutting him up. 

“No, it’s not a joke. And I am taking it as a yes.” 

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Rage

Prompts: Okay so fic where Logan and Roman get to go Apeshit on the other sides!! each of them have one other side who supports them in this. (Virgil for Roman and Remus for Logan) I hope you have a great day!! - anon

What would you do if Roman and Logan went apeshit at the same time? Like- Roman apoligises for ignoring him, and theyre both chill with each other and they get mad at the others together? Virgils just like "Yehhhh you tell them, Princey" "Fuck yeah Specs" - anon

Propmt Idea!: Remus looks at his brother and this nerd and realizes they both need to get rid of some steam, so he sets up a rage room for them, but the other sides walk in on them while they are doing the rage room? - anon

Would like to request a fic where roman just doesnt show up in his prince costume. He thinks he doesnt deserve it. I dont know what else would happen lol, but Roman with no prince outfit. - anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: some allusions to manipulation and guilt tripping

Pairings: logince, platonic or romantic i don't care

Word Count: 4994

It doesn’t start with much. Just a knock on the door.

Logan sighs, pushing back from his desk, schooling his expression into the blank Logic the other Sides know and striding to the door. He hesitates for a millisecond too long before he turns it swiftly to the left and pulls it open.

“Yes?”

He blinks.

Roman stand outside, something cupped in his hands. He…his hair isn’t done up. It’s still all fluffy and bedraggled, as if he just rolled out of bed. He’s not in pajamas, per se, but the sweatpants and shirt he’s wearing certainly aren’t his prince costume.

“Hi, Logan,” he says quietly, “uh, do you have a free minute? If not, that’s—that’s fine too.”

Logan blinks again. “I have about fifteen minutes to spare, how may I help you?”

Roman fiddles with the edge of the package. “O-only if you want to, Logan. I know how much you like your schedules and I’d hate…if this is your only free time I don’t want to steal it.”

The Logic facade slips as Logan’s brow furrows. On the one hand, yes, he would prefer to have his alone time be alone time, on the other…

“You can come in, Roman,” he says, standing aside, “I don’t mind.”

Roman’s head jerks up. “R-really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Oh. Uh, thanks, Logan.”

Logan shuts the door carefully behind Roman as they walk back into his room. The other Side stands there for a moment, not looking around at Logan’s room, but instead down at the box in his hands. After a moment of silence, he turns and offers it to Logan.

“For you.”

“For me?” He takes it cautiously. “Thank you, Roman. Did—I do not believe we have any special occasions coming up. Not on Thomas’s calendar.”

Roman tugs at the hem of his shirt. “There isn’t one, Logan. I just…I, um…”

“Take your time.”

He gets a nod of thanks. Then Roman takes a deep breath and squares his shoulders. “I wanted to apologize to you.”

Logan blinks. And blinks again.

“…to me?”

Roman nods and gestures to the box. “That’s, uh, not part of it, not really, but it’s something I wanted to give you anyway.”

Logan looks down at the box. He tips it this way and that. It’s just a plain cardboard box. No flashy wrapping paper, no dazzling calligraphy, nothing that screams ‘this is a gift!’

“You can open it whenever,” Roman says, clearly interpreting his silence as disbelief or hesitation, “I don’t—it doesn’t have to be with me here, if you…don’t want.”

“Thank you, Roman,” Logan says instead, “now what were you here to apologize for?”

Roman falters. He tucks his hands behind his back and lifts his chin. The way he looks like he’s bracing for Logan to punish him twists something awful in Logan’s chest.

“I have been dismissive, rude, and unkind to you,” he says, quiet yet firm, “and I have not made it clear that I value you and all the contributions you make.”

Logan’s hands stutter on the box.

“It is…unfair of me to assume that some of us are more important to Thomas based off of our individual roles and…functions,” he continues, stumbling a little as he looks for the right words, “and I owe you an apology.”

He takes a deep breath, letting his head hang for a moment, then he raises it and looks straight at Logan.

“I’m sorry, Logan.”

Logan’s mouth drops open. He almost drops the box.

“I…I guess if that’s anything,” he mumbles, nodding toward the box Logan just managed to save, “it’s kind of my peace offering.”

Peace…peace offering?

Logan takes a deep breath. His hands tremble slightly on the box.

Why…why is Roman here? He—he says he needed to apologize. Yes, that is true. Logan has been the brunt of Roman’s irritation more often than not and has been pushed to the side in favor of Roman’s issues. Their rivalry is not always friendly and, in fact, lingers closer to outright animosity. And it is true that, out of all the other Sides, only Roman seems to resent him when he gets Thomas to listen.

But…is it?

Logan realizes belatedly that Roman is still waiting. He blinks, looking up at him, mouth opening and closing a few times.

“I’m not ignoring you,” he says quickly, “nor am I outright offended by your apology. I…just need time to process.”

Roman accepts it unquestioningly, stepping back and bowing his head respectfully. Logan watches him for a moment.

He’s been the brunt of Roman’s irritation recently, but…tensions haven’t exactly been low. More often than not, he’s the one directly opposing Roman. It follows that any irritation that spills over for Roman falls onto him.

Their rivalry isn’t friendly but Logan hasn’t exactly been upfront about looking at it as a rivalry. Most of his comments toward Roman have revolved around precisely the opposite, haven’t they? His stomach twists at how often he’s dismissed Roman out of hand or called him stupid.

As far as Roman resenting him goes…he’s never done anything about it. Thomas relies on him a lot, sure, but…

Roman’s words replay in his mind.

‘Individual roles and functions,’ that’s what he’d said. Logan needs to be listened to, that’s the role of Logic. Roman…what is Roman?

Roman is romance, Roman is passion, Roman is desire, Roman is Creativity.

Logan squints, thinking harder. He’s missing something, what is it? Something about the word ‘functions’ sticks in his brain. It sits a little strangely in the sentence.

Functions…what does it mean to function?

Fulfill a purpose, sure, but it carries another implication. That some criteria have to be met in order for the thing—whatever it is—to function properly.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, no.

Roman’s function. It isn’t just to be Creativity, he’s Thomas’s Ego. And in order to function, he needs—he needs—

“Roman,” Logan says after a while.

Roman’s head raises. He looks at Logan, his head tilting when Logan doesn’t speak for a moment. Logan takes a deep breath and sets the box down.

“I believe I owe you an apology as well.”

Roman’s eyes widen. “For what, Spe—Logan?”

Logan swallows. Has his throat always been this dry? “I have performed a similar lack of awareness. I have not taken into consideration your needs and as such, I have contributed to—and may, in fact, be largely responsible for your discomfort as much as you have mine.”

“That’s…that’s…”

“Please,” he mumbles, “let me say it?”

Roman hushes.

“Thank you.” He takes another deep breath. “I didn’t realize that, as the Ego, you…you need a certain amount of validation to stay healthy. To keep Thomas healthy. You create and make things because that’s your job and you’re very talented at it.”

Roman makes a choked-off sound.

“And it makes sense that you would be hurt if the rest of us—me, in particular, don’t respect that.” He adjusts his tie. “And as much as we—I like to say that you throw tantrums whenever you don’t get your way…”

He trails off, looking sadly at Roman.

“Have you…you haven’t really gotten your way in a long time, have you?”

Roman flinches. Several expressions flicker across his face too fast to name.

“If I have ever given you the impression that I do not believe you to be worthy of our time, attention, or praise,” Logan says firmly, “then that is my fault. And I’m sorry.”

Roman swallows thickly. “Thank you,” he manages, his eyes threateningly shiny.

Logan finds, to his dismay, that his eyes are also brimming.

“Can I—“

“Yes, of course—“

They take two quick steps toward each other and Roman’s arms throw themselves around Logan’s waist as Logan wraps his own around Roman’s shoulders. Logan closes his eyes at the sudden rush of warmth and clutches Roman a little tighter. The added pressure draws forth a small noise.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Logan, I’m so sorry, Specs,” Roman babbles into Logan’s shoulder, “I care about you so much, you’re so important to me, I’m so sorry—“

“It’s okay, Roman,” Logan mumbles, trying to soothe himself with the words as much as he does Roman, “it’s—it’s okay now.”

They cling to each other like that, desperately trying to anchor themselves as the air buffets around them.

When they separate, wiping eyes and noses and searching for a tissue box, Logan picks up the box with shaky hands. He turns it over.

“Can I open this now?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Roman says, taking Logan’s tissue to throw out, “you can do whatever you want, Spe—Logan.”

Logan pauses. “You can…you can call me nicknames, if…if you want.”

“Are you sure? They don’t make you feel like I don’t take you seriously?”

Heat rushes to the tips of Logan’s ears. “I, well, that’s…how you show affection, right?”

“One of the ways,” Roman says softly, “but yeah. Yeah, Specs, you got it.”

Logan distracts himself—and hopefully Roman—from the flush on his cheeks by carefully prying open the cardboard box. He pauses when he sees a truly massive array of pens inside.

“They’re the disposable brush pens you had Thomas looking at,” Roman says quietly, “I, uh, I know you mentioned that you wanted to try taking notes with another pen that wouldn’t bleed as much and the reviews said this one would be good.”

“Th-thank you, Roman,” Logan says, immediately glancing around for his notebook, “can you—?”

“Here.”

“Thank you.” He uncaps one of the pens and starts to write. “Good balance, excellent variability in line weight, good readability.”

He hears Roman chuckle over his shoulder and it’s full of fondness.

“I’m glad you like them, Specs.”

“It’s certainly the best peace offering I’ve ever had.” He twirls the pen between his fingers. “Perhaps the only peace offering, but the best nonetheless.”

Roman pauses. Then, “I know that you…feel like we’re not listening all the time. But I want you to know that I am. I do listen to you Logan.”

“I know you do.” Logan sets the pen down. “You…for all the grief I’ve given you about not paying attention, you might be one of the only ones who do listen to me.”

A humorless laugh leaves Roman’s throat. “Oh, don’t worry, promise it’s not just you.”

Logan’s grip tightens on the edge of his desk. “Believe me, I’ve noticed.”

“I just—“ Roman’s hands go to his hair and clutch tightly— “do you have any idea how much work it takes just to come up with the few ideas I do end up submitting? And then to get them tossed aside like I just came up with them right there? Sorry, I—“

“No, no, you’re right, and I can’t say that’s at the forefront of my mind—“

“And like, I understand that they’re there for workshop and I’m going to get critiques and that’s what I want, but—“

“But there’s a line between constructive criticism and just criticism,” Logan says, “I understand.”

“And…if I’m gonna be honest?” Roman sighs. “Most of the time, it’s not really you.”

“It isn’t?”

“No, you—you at least know why you don’t like something and you give me feedback as to why and how to change it.” Roman’s lip twitches. “That’s better than some people.”

Before Logan can say anything, Roman shakes himself.

“Sorry, I came here to apologize, not dump all my stuff onto you. That’s not fair.”

“You’re not dumping anything, Roman.” Logan frowns. “Nor have you actually had the chance to talk without someone jumping down your throat.”

“Okay, so it’s not just me? I—because sometimes I feel like—“

“Like you’re walking on figurative landmines every time you open your mouth?”

Roman’s shoulders sag. “Exactly.”

“Believe me,” Logan scoffs, “I know the feeling. Most of the time I have to judge precise increments to pause so I can finish a sentence before someone’s telling me to shut up or talking over me.”

“Have you—“ Roman gestures between them— “have you noticed how often one of us gets called on—which, first of all—“

“Is awful, yes, please continue.”

“—yeah, and then we’re only allowed to speak when someone else thinks we’re going to back them up?”

Logan groans, leaning fully against the side of his desk and adjusting his glasses. “I know I insist that we cite our sources in this house but I never imagined that my role would be to become the citations list.”

“And then it’s always credited as someone else’s work!” Roman throws his hands up. “Like, what are we, filler characters? Props for your character development?”

“It certainly feels that way sometimes, doesn’t it?”

“What, being shoved to the side so someone else can have an epiphany that gets them into the next part of their character arc? Yeah, I wonder what that feels like.”

“Or having your contributions skipped entirely because they’re not relevant enough.”

A tense silence falls over Logan’s room. Then Logan’s hand tightens so much the desk groans in protest.

“Do you think,” he says lowly, “they even know what they’re doing?”

“I’ve got a better question,” Roman bites out, “do you think they would care?”

His fists tighten at his sides.

“Because at least one of them,” he snarls, eyes fixed on a blank space on Logan’s wall, “was more than happy to cut the strings on a puppet when it wasn’t useful anymore.”

Something surges in Logan’s chest as Roman says those words.

“Or shuttle them to the back, all but begging to be included?”

Roman’s eyes flash with anger, each word dripping with venom. “But we have to do what’s right, remember? We have to be forgiving, or have an open mind. We have to meet him in the middle.”

Logan rolls his eyes and pushes off the desk. “Meet me in the middle.”

Roman takes a step toward him. Logan takes a step back.

“I said meet me in the middle.”

“You know what? No,” Roman says, as both of them know who they’re speaking to, “you come meet me in the middle.”

Logan’s eyes widen dramatically and he puts a hand on his chest. “Wow, you’re being so closed-minded. Aren’t you supposed to fight for honor and do good? Don’t you want to help Thomas do the right thing?”

“Oh, but don’t forget, don’t do it for the wrong reasons because that’s even worse, if you’re not doing it with only this intention you’re still an awful person, and let’s not forget,” Roman cries, throwing his hands up, “the strict sense of right and wrong you’ve had your whole life is incorrect! And unhealthy! And it’s your fault that everything is going wrong because of what you’ve been taught!”

“And who cares if you got hurt because of it,” Logan continues, folding his arms, “because at least someone else didn’t.”

They stand there, panting for a moment, before a growl comes loose from Roman’s throat and Logan crumples up a scrap piece of paper in his hand.

“Fuck.”

“You said it, Specs.”

Then there’s a knock on the door.

Both of them exchange a look. Logan turns back.

“Yes?”

“Uh, hey L—“

“Ro-bro!”

“Can we—Remus, I swear to god, don’t break the door!—can we come in?”

They exchange another look before Logan hesitantly opens the door. Virgil waves a little awkwardly. Remus has no such reservations—and when does he ever, springing forward and tackling Roman onto the floor.

“Ro-Bro!”

“Re—Re, get off!”

“No,” Remus says delightedly, snuggling further into Roman’s weight, “I’m real proud of you so you get cat pile.”

“Cat pile—wait, you’re what?”

Logan is also staring in shock at Remus’s declaration, turning to look at Virgil. Virgil nods, a small smile on his face.

“We, uh—so I got summoned the moment Princey showed up outside your door—“

“Wait, you what?”

“And I,” Remus declares, poking Roman gently in the stomach, “heard something bad from you.”

Logan isn’t sure what that entails, but if the way Roman goes pale and Remus’s expression softens is any indication, it’s nothing good.

“Sorry, Re—“

“None of that, Roro,” Remus murmurs, “I get it. You…you haven’t exactly had it easy lately.”

“Neither of you have,” Virgil agrees, looking between them, “and we, uh, we may have heard everything you guys have been talking about.”

Roman just sighs.

“Which we’re sorry about! That’s an invasion of privacy and not cool, we know, but—uh—“

“We’re not that sorry we heard it.”

“Yes, we are!”

“Nah.”

“Remus, I swear—“

“Those aren’t swear words, Emo-yre.”

“That—did you just try to make a bad manteau out of ‘emo’ and ‘Eeyore?’”

“Sure did!”

“It didn’t work,” Roman says dryly, only to get smacked in the shoulder. “Hey!”

“Okay, bad manteau aside,” Virgil says, looking back at Logan, “I’m sorry for eavesdropping. And for…you know, all the other stuff too.”

“Like what,” Logan says, raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms.

“Not speaking up about listening to you,” Virgil says without missing a beat, “talking over you, saying you don’t understand things. All of that.”

Then he looks at Roman and scratches the back of his head.

“And I’ve been really shitty to you.”

Roman stills, eyes fixed on Virgil.

“I, uh, I’m normally the one just criticizing you. I insult you and—and belittle you and make you out to be stupid and brash.” He shoves his hands in his pockets. “And you’re normally the one that gets yelled at when we start fighting.”

He looks at Roman. Roman looks back.

“So yeah, Princey, ‘m sorry.”

Remus gives Roman a gentle—for Remus, it’s gentle—squeeze. “Do you need me to apologize too?”

“What? No, no, Re, you didn’t do anything. Not to me.”

Remus looks up at Logan. “How about you?”

Logan thinks. “…no, I…I don’t believe I need an apology from you either.”

“You sure? Not even for anything that happened a few days ago?”

Virgil groans. “I need an apology for that tongue lollipop.”

“Actually, you’re right, I do need an apology for that.”

Remus huffs dramatically, “fine. I apologize for enjoying a tentacle pop in your general vicinity.”

“Now I need an apology for you calling it a tentacle pop.”

“It was a tongue, Remus.”

“A tongue is a tentacle.”

“You’re not making my need to hit something go away, Remus,” Roman groans, scrubbing his hands over his face as Remus springs onto the balls of his feet, “now help me up.”

“Ooh, do you want to smash things?”

“At the moment, your face.”

“Kinky.”

“God—no—“

“You guys should go into a rage room!”

Roman blinks. “A what?”

“A rage room,” Logan says, tilting his head at Remus, “it’s a room designed for you to go inside with protective gear and break things. Broken equipment, computers, bottles, that sort of thing.”

Virgil nods to Remus. “We’ve done it a couple of times. It’s really good stress relief.”

Roman brushes his shirt off. “Huh. Yeah, uh, maybe.”

He looks up at Logan.

“Would you, uh, want to come with me…or go by yourself?”

“I find it’s better with someone else,” Virgil stage-whispers to Logan, “but you make your own choices.”

“No, I…I’d be happy to go with you, Roman.”

“Where are we going?”

Logan and Roman freeze.

Virgil notices, immediately turning to face the two in the doorway. “Uh, hey, you two. Maybe don’t do that next time?”

“The door was open,” Patton says, stepping inside Logan’s room, “we heard you guys from downstairs.”

Virgil clears his throat, looking pointedly at Logan as if waiting for Patton to ask for permission to come in. Patton follows his gaze.

“So yeah, where are you and Roman going?”

Logan takes a deep breath, glancing at Roman. Roman meets his eyes for a second before stepping backward and lowering his head. This time it feels different. Too practiced. Too…deferential.

His hand clenches as he hides it behind his back.

“Remus has offered to take us somewhere,” he says cooly.

“Oh, that’s exciting!” Patton looks back and forth between them. “Where?”

“In the Imagination.”

“Well, I figured out that much, silly! I meant where?”

Logan narrows his eyes at Patton. Surely…surely he’s realized, right? Only too late does he notice Janus staring at him.

Shit.

“I believe our dear nerd is keeping secrets,” he says smoothly, “how interesting.”

Logan bristles. “Last I checked, it was perfectly acceptable not to divulge private information.”

Janus tilts his head, blinking innocently. “But since when have afternoon plans been private information?”

“Since you aren’t entitled to knowing everything that goes on around here.”

“You tell him, L,” Virgil mutters.

Janus’s brow twitches, glancing first at Virgil, then back to Logan. Logan folds his arms. “Well, I certainly understand the reason for all of this animosity.”

“We were having a conversation,” Logan says, “you two inserted yourselves into it.”

Janus glances behind him at the open door.

“You know that’s not good enough.”

“Believe me—“ Logan suppresses a snort— “I would never cross a boundary that you enforced.”

Logan knows that ‘liar’ is written all over his expression. He’s finding it quite difficult to care.

Janus looks at him for a moment longer before he must come to the conclusion that he won’t get what he wants out of Logan. Logan allows himself the smallest of smirks before he sees where Janus’s attention has turned. Then he stiffens.

“I’m sure Roman won’t be so rude,” he says lightly, “will you, my dear prince?”

Roman doesn’t move. His head is bowed, his hands are behind his back.

“Come now,” Janus laughs, “aren’t we past all of this? Don’t be stubborn now, Roman, it’s not like we can do anything to you.”

Roman’s flinch is too well hidden.

“Wait, hang on, Janus,” Patton says, holding out a hand, “Roman, kiddo, where’s your prince costume? Are you feeling unworthy again?”

Something cold sinks into the pit of Logan’s stomach.

“Are you okay, kiddo?” Patton starts to move forward, stopping when Remus steps in front of Roman. He gives Remus a look but Remus won’t budge. “Roman, talk to me.”

Roman huffs. “Why?”

“So I can help, of course!”

“No, thank you, I don’t feel like being lectured right now.”

It’s not anything confrontational, it’s barely more than a polite decline of Patton’s less than polite request, but Patton recoils as if Roman’s slapped him.

“K-kiddo?”

“My, my, Roman,” Janus drawls, and now there’s an edge to his voice, “and here I thought you were over this little temper tantrum of yours. How…disappointing.”

“I—I—“ Patton clutches at his polo— “what did you mean by that, Roman?”

Roman takes a deep breath. “Lately, especially lately, you don’t—when I try and talk to you about something, you make it into something I’m doing wrong.”

“That’s not—“

“It is,” Roman says firmly, cutting off Patton’s denial, “it’s something I don’t understand, or something I’ve done wrong, or something I need to apologize for. Every time. So no, I’m not really in the mood for a lecture right now.”

Patton’s face falls and he misses the reassuring squeeze Remus gives Roman’s leg.

Janus looks at Patton, concern written on his features, before he turns back to Roman.

“I’m sure this might seem reasonable to you, but—“

“Reasonable?” Roman laughs again. It’s still not funny. “You want to talk about being reasonable?”

“Roman—“

“I don’t bend perfectly to each of your little plans and then have the self-preservation,” Roman spits, still not looking up, “to stand up for myself only to be punished, and now you have the audacity to talk about being reasonable?”

“You get him, Ro-Bro.”

“If you must know, my lord,” Roman says, each word as sardonic as he knows how to make it, “we were discussing, privately, the possibility of going to Remus’s rage room. Is your curiosity not sated?”

Janus’s brow twitches, his mouth falling open in the face of Roman’s barrage of words, just managing to resist taking a step back. His gaze darts to Remus who is openly glaring at him, then to Virgil.

“What?” Virgil shrugs. “Don’t look at me, he’s not wrong.”

Patton gulps. Then he looks slowly from Logan to Roman and back again.

“W-well, kiddos, I…I can’t say that I’m thrilled to hear that you’re both angry.” He tries to stand up a little taller. “B-but! There are healthier ways to…deal with that anger than breaking things. I’m sure if we all just sat down and talked, we could resolve this in a healthy, non-toxic way, and—“

The edge of Logan’s desk cracks under his hand.

He stands at his full height.

“I do not recall asking for your input,” he says coldly, “nor was this a conversation you were involved in. Roman and I do not require your permission, nor your approval.”

“Fuck yes, Specs.”

“Get them, Lolo.”

Logan adjusts his tie and looks over at Remus. “Shall we go now?”

Remus glances at Roman. Roman nods and the three of them start toward the door. Before they leave, Roman pauses and turns to face Patton and Janus.

“At some point, you will ask yourselves why we feel uncomfortable coming to you about things. I hope, for your sakes, you remember the answer.”

He hears Virgil let out an ‘oh, damn’ as the door closes.

As soon as they make it to the Imagination, both Logan and Roman are panting again. Roman blindly gropes for Logan’s hand, Logan pulling them after Remus as fast as they can go.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god—“

“In and out, Roman, we can do it, come on—“

“Alright, here we—whoa,” Remus says, spinning back around only to see the two of them almost hyperventilating, “hey, hey, you two, get your butts in here.”

He tugs them both inside and pushes them down, huddled on the floor.

“Hey, hey, you two assholes gotta breathe.”

“Re—Re, they’re gonna—they’re gonna be mad—“

“They can’t do shit to you, Roman,” he promises, “Virgil and I won’t let them. You either, Logan, you guys are gonna be fucking fine. You know they’re not actually the worst people on the planet, they’re just—“

“Stuck with their heads up their asses,” Logan mumbles, “yeah, we know.”

“That’s right.” Remus rubs Roman’s shaking back. “Come on, we’re here to let stuff out, okay? I’m gonna give you guys some space, but if shit gets bad, I’ll hear it and I’ll come. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Good.” Remus summons two bats and holds them out like swords. “Now go smash some shit.”

Roman opens his mouth to say thank you but Logan’s way ahead of him. He takes the bat and only pauses long enough to snap himself into protective gear before he’s bringing it down hard on a stack of sheet glass. The shards fly everywhere and he immediately wants to do it again.

So he does.

And again.

And again.

And again.

The last sheets are shattered by Roman’s bat before he can get to them.

“Come on,” Roman growls, hefting his bat, “there’s a car around here somewhere.”

A pristine sports car sits a few feet away. Roman’s bat morphs into a sledgehammer and he brings it down onto the hood of the car with a yell. Logan knocks off the mirrors. Destroys the headlights. Rips the door off of its hinges with a strangled cry.

There is something unique to be found in destruction.

Each sound, each shard, each object obliterated starts to pound insistently at the horrible weight in their chests. Each thing they toss to each other only to whack it across the room with the bat makes their smiles a little less manic. Each time they end up panting, out of breath, they’re a little further away from crying.

In the end, they are back to back, surrounded by the carnage they have wrought together. Roman’s weight is solid against Logan’s back, the very edges of their arms brushing. They can feel the way the other breathes, small puffs of air into the finally still room.

Roman snorts.

Logan holds back a chuckle.

Then they’re laughing.

Loud, long, and hard. The room rings with it, echoes with it, fills with it until it’s swallowing them.

Laughter is the brain’s blue-screen.

It doesn’t start with much. Just a knock on the door.

It ends with the sound of two bats clattering to the ground.

“Specs?”

“Hmm?”

“You feel any better?”

“Yes, Roman, I…think I do.”

“Good.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah…yeah, think so.”

“Good.”

“Can we…perhaps do this more often?”

He hears Roman’s warm chuckle. “You tired of being nice?”

Logan laughs too. “Yes, Roman, I think we both are.”

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[lavenderwhore444]

Heyyy bestie so I was listening to this song that reminded me of ur writing and shigaraki it’s called fix me by Cuco, I was wondering if I can make a request based of that song.

-🤡

Fix Me

Okay, I tried to interpret the song but seriously, tell me if I did it wrong /srs.

Warnings: y/n is desperate and clingy, not taken advantage of per se but definitely taken for granted, oral giving and receiving, cock warming.

InteractiveFics

Master List

It was another quiet day. Another quiet day that seemed so fucking loud. Shigaraki thought it would be nice to sit downstairs while Dabi and Toga were gone, but it was dumb and stupid. He felt the couch dip, and he looked over at you.

‘Why is she sitting so fucking close to me?’ he asked himself.

You eased the hand off his face.

“Hey, what the fu-”

“You're pretty, ” you murmured, putting father back on his face after admiring him for a moment.

“Excuse me?” he said, not knowing whether to blush or kill you.

“I said you're pretty Shigaraki. You should take the hand off more often so I can see your face, ” you said, smiling at the part of Shigaraki’s blush not covered by the hand.

“Don’t tell me what to do, ” he scoffed, going back to his game.

“Aw, don't act like that. I can see you blushing, Tomura. Can I call you Tomura? I'm gonna call you Tomura, ” you said, playing with his hair.

“Fucking stop it, ” he said, knocking your hand away. He saw a flash of hurt in your eyes and instantly regretted it.

“You're so mean to me, ” you sighed, getting up and dragging your feet up the stairs.

He cursed himself for pushing you away. Again. He was in love with you, and you were literally flirting with him, but you were right. He was so mean to you. He’d been rejected so many times that he just didn't see the point in having you when you'd leave him in a matter of months. It's better never to have you than to lose you.

Besides, when you did leave him, Shigaraki was worried he would hurt you. Everyone before had gotten a deadly high five when they hurt him. He was just too sensitive. It was pathetic. He was pathetic.

He spent the next four days holed up in his room. He just didn't want to see you or fuck up again. He didn't want to make you sad again. You were so wonderful, and he was just nothing. It was weak for the number one villain to cry over a girl, but you were really important to him. He couldn't help the tears that dripped down his face.

He was so sensitive, so stupid. Every time he loved someone, they hurt him. It wasn't even worth it. He wasn't even worth it. So no one was worried about him except for you. You waited patiently on the couch every day for him to come downstairs.

“Dabi, do you think he’s ok?” you asked, voice laced with worry.

“Y/n, he’s fine. Just give it up; he doesn't like us. He doesn't want to see us, ” he said.

“Oh, ” you whispered.

“Oh god, don't tell me you have a crush on handyman, ” he groaned.

You didn't answer the question, “I'm gonna go check on him, ”

“What flowers do you want at your funeral!” Dabi called.

You ignored him, knocking gently on his door, “tomura?” you called softly, “are you okay? I haven't seen you in days. I miss you, ”

“Go away, ” he snapped.

“I'm coming in, ” you said, easing the door open.

He was curled in his gaming chair, sniffling.

“I told you to go away, ” he muttered.

You sat across for him.

“Tell me what's wrong, please?” you whispered.

“No, ” he said, still crying.

You reached out to wipe away his tears, and to your surprise, he leaned into your touch.

“Y/n, ” he said, “what do you do if you love someone who will never love you back?”

You bit your lip, “I wish I knew. Maybe just tell them and get it out of the way? I don't know. I'm too scared to tell him, ”

You sat in silence for a minute.

“I think he likes you back. You're too god for him, though, ” Shigaraki said.

“What?” you asked, hoping you'd heard him right.

“I said I think Dabi likes you back, ” he repeated.

“Dabi?” you asked, confused.

He nodded, “well, that's who it is, right?”

You shook your head, “no, it’s um...nevermind, ”

He sighed, “I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours, ” truthfully, the only reason Shigaraki wanted to know is so he could kill him.

You nodded hesitantly, “it’s um, it's you. You can fire me if you want. I won't be mad, ”

He cupped your face with four fingers and pressed his lips to yours. He gave you his first kiss. You smiled into the kiss, running your hands over the scars on his neck.

“I'm sorry, ” he said as he pulled away.

Your face fell, “what do you mean?”

“I know you don't really like me y/n. I shouldn't have kissed you. It probably grossed you out, ” Tomura said.

“No, that's not-”

“Hey, it's ok. You don't have to lie, ok? Just get out, ” he said, turning away again.

“No, ” you whispered, “I'm gonna stay. I like you a lot Tomura, ”

“Get out,” he said.

“No, I want to-”

“Get out!” he yelled, fists clenching.

When he finally looked at you, your eyes were filled with fear. He felt like shit. He always fucked this stuff up. He was so mean to you. Finally, you got up wordlessly and left.

“I'm so sorry, ” he whispered even though you were already in your room, crying silently.

Even after what happened that night, he found you sitting on the couch waiting for him. You had made up your mind to prove to him that you really had feelings for him. He sat on the far end of the couch, and you moved as close as you could to him. You laid your head on his shoulder.

“Good morning Tomura, ” you smiled, wrapping your arms around his waist.

He stayed silent, playing his game.

“You're so good at that, Shiggy. It's so cool, ” you said, looking up at him for approval.

His lips quirked up into a small smile, but he got rid of it just as quickly.

“I saw you smile!” you said happily, “that means I make you happy, just like you make me happy, ”

“Whatever, ” he muttered.

“You're so much nicer to me, ” you sighed, “you're so incredible, Shigaraki. You're such a good leader. You're so brave and strong, ”

He had to admit that the flattery was nice, but that didn't mean you liked him. Dabi probably dared you to do it. But maybe he’d hang on to the thought that you were honest, if only for a minute. That didn't mean he’d let you in, of course. Instead, he decided to throw you a bone.

“Maybe, but I'm not as pretty as you are y/n, ” he said, smirking.

You froze, and your eyes lit up, “Shiggy! Thank you!” you kissed him on the cheek.

He laughed, letting you lay on him for the rest of the day. Then, when you went on a mission the next day, you followed him around like a lost puppy, acting as a human shield before he pulled you out of the way, scolding you.

“But I don't want you to get hurt, ” you pouted as he bandaged up your arm back at the bar.

“I can't have you getting hurt either, ” he muttered.

You grinned from ear to ear, “you're so sweet, Shiggy, ”

“Get a room, ” Dabi yelled.

You looked up at Shigaraki, blushing.

He sighed, “you want to hang out in my room, don't you?”

You nodded eagerly.

“Fine, ” he muttered, “I’ll be up in a minute, ”

You ran upstairs happily.

“You can call her off now, Dabi. It’s getting annoying. Just let her win the bet, ” he said.

“A bet? Why the hell would I make a bet with y/n. She never loses. That'd be like trying to breathe water, ” he said, taking a drag from his cigarette.

“I’m serious. I’ll pay y/n or whatever but knock it off patchwork, ” Shigaraki said, losing his patience.

“Listen, creep; I didn't make any fucking bet with her. I don't even know what you're talking about, ” he said, walking out of the bar.

‘Maybe I was wrong. Maybe y/n really likes me, ” he thought.

He walked into his room to see you lying on the bed, reading the back of one of his games.

“Hey, don't touch that, ” he snapped, yanking the game from your hands.

You grabbed his hand and pulled him on top of you on the bed.

“What the hell are you doing, ” he said, rolling off of you.

You pulled yourself closer to him, “cuddle me, ”

He sighed and wrapped his arms around you. You gasped happily and snuggled into him.

“Y/n, ” Shigaraki said, “did Dabi dare you to do all of this?”

“Of course, ” you said.

His whole world shattered. He can't believe he fell for it. No one could love him. He was right all along. You could never love him. You would never love him.

“I wouldn't do my make-up like this unless he dared m- Shigaraki, are you ok?” You asked, seeing a tear roll down his cheek.

You gasped, “oh, you didn't mean the makeup. I'm so sorry, Shiggy. That's not what I meant. I really do like you, ”

“Get out, ” he muttered, more tears stinging his eyes.

“No, ” you said, “I'm not leaving. Not until you realize that none of this was a dare. I have real feelings for you, Shigaraki, ”

“Get out, ” he whispered, turning his back to you.

You tried to turn him back to you but weren't strong enough, so you climbed over him and shoved yourself into his chest.

“Dont cry, please, ” you whispered.

He tried to turn away again, but you held on too tightly, and he ended up turning both of you. After that, you just snuggled into him more.

“Look, ” he said, “I’ll pay you whatever he promised, ok?”

“No, ” you said, “no one's paying me anything, Shig. No one told me to do any of this. Actually, Dabi told me not to, ”

“Whatever, ” he mumbled.

“How can I prove it to you?” You said, kissing the mole under his lips.

“Hmm, ” he said, sure you would refuse his request, “well, if you're so sure you like me, there would be no problem with you giving me your virginity, right?”

You smiled, “no problem at all, Shiggy! I’d do anything to make you happy, ”

“Oh my god, you're serious, ” he whispered, looking down at you.

He smashed his lips into yours, grabbing at your hair. You groaned softly. He was finally kissing you. Shigaraki finally realized how you felt about him and felt the same way. You kissed back eagerly, wrapping your arms around his neck. When he finally pulled away, you were both out of breath.

You grinned, “told you I liked you, ”

He smiled, looking at you with loving eyes.

“So you're mine now, right?” he asked, kissing your forehead.

“Always was, ” you said, fiddling with the frayed strings of his hoodie.

He pulled you closer to him, “get some sleep, ok?”

“Ok, ” you whispered.

He fell asleep first, and his slow, steady breathing lulled you to sleep. The night passed peacefully. You were the first to wake up, stroking his hair.

“Good morning, ” you whispered as he woke up.

“Good morning, ” he mumbled, “you're still here?”

“Where else would I be?” you said.

“I dunno, ” he leaned down and kissed you.

You smiled as he kissed you. His chapped lips moved against yours. Days went by with you. You were always with him, content as long as you were in the same room as him. You could live without food or water but not without him. But he still felt so inadequate. Shigaraki just couldn't put his finger on why you liked him so much. He’d lie awake at night, watching you sleep on his chest. Sometimes you'd mutter things in your sleep, and almost all of them had to do with him. So why couldn't he just believe you? What was stopping him from seeing that you liked loved him?

“Tomu, are you okay?” you asked, sitting next to him on the bed.

“I’m not good enough for you y/n, ” he sighed.

“What? That's not true, ” you said, hugging him.

“I really like you y/n, ” he said.

It wasn't often Shigaraki said something like that. Instead, he showed his love through actions. Tomura would often pull you into his lap when you sat down, pull your hair back for you when it fell in front of your face, and even paused his game when you wanted a kiss.

You kissed him before saying, “I like you too, Tomura, obviously, ”

He shook his head, “I don't feel good enough for you y/n. How could you ever like someone like me? You're just so amazing and smart and pretty, and I'm-”

“You're perfect, Shiggy. You're everything I've ever wanted. I mean, you're gonna change the world. That's pretty fucking amazing, ” you interrupted.

He blushed, “promise? Promise you like me?”

“Promise, ” you said, kissing him.

When you pulled away, Shigaraki yanked you back by the hair, kissing you harder. You moaned into the kiss, and he smiled triumphantly. He pulled away to separate your lips with his thumb. He leaned back to kiss you and eased his tongue into your mouth. You accepted his affection eagerly, letting him kiss you with as much tongue as he wanted. You'd do anything to make him happy.

He pulled away, “I want to take off your shirt. Can I?”

You nodded, and he turned it into a pile of dust. Then, he stared hungrily at your tits.

“Are you sure? Y/n you should wait for someone you love-”

“I love you, Shiggy, ” you clapped a hand over your mouth.

After a moment, he whispered, “I love you too, ”

You grinned and hugged him, “oh, I’m so so glad!”

You pulled off your bra.

“Are you sure you want this?” he asked.

“Yes. Let me show you I want you. Then, just lie back, ” you said.

You ran your hands up and down his chest, pinching his nipples. He groaned softly.

“Oh god y/n, ” he whispered.

You leaned down and sucked on his right nipple while rubbing the other one.

“Fuck, ” he moaned.

He was so responsive, so sensitive in all the best ways. You kissed down to the hem of his pants slowly. He was panting the whole time, a tent forming in his pants. You unbuttoned his pants and pulled the zipper down. His erection was even more prominent in his grey boxers. You gulped at the idea of pushing him down your throat, but you still pulled them down with determination. Anything to make him happy. You licked up his shaft twice before taking as much as you could in your mouth.

“Oh, thank you y/n, ” he gasped, “thank you so much, ”

He felt awful but so good when he came. He felt awful because it had only been five minutes but great because your mouth was fucking magical. You pulled away with a mouth full of cum. You gulped it down, sighing happily.

“I'm so so sorry, ” he sputtered, “I didn't mean to cum so early. It's just your mouth felt so good, and I couldn't stop it, ”

“It's okay, baby, ” you assured him, “I'm just glad I made you feel good, sweetheart, ”

He flipped you over, “I need you to cum, ”

He got rid of your pants and underwear, leaving you completely naked. He shoved his face into your pussy immediately. You yelped, not expecting him to do anything like this.

“Oh god, ” you moaned, “ah fuck, ”

He lapped up everything you had to offer. Drowning himself in you, you are the best, you are perfect. Shigaraki was sucking and licking everywhere he could. When he found your clit he sucked harshly, causing you to grind against him.

“Oh god, ” you moaned, “more please, ”

Of course, he obliged, adding in two of his fingers. They wiggled around for a while before finding a soft spongy patch. That really got you going as you thrashed around on the bed, whimpering and moaning.

“So close, ” you whispered.

He increased his efforts tenfold, letting you grind and hump his face. He was moaning too. How could he not? You were so wet and sweet on his tongue. Everything you did was perfect. He's addicted to you.

“Fuck, your so amazing, Tomura, ” you gasped as he began to push you over the edge.

He moaned into you. That's exactly what he always dreamed of hearing. Even after all the times he’d been hurt and broken, he still trusted you with his whole heart. Shigaraki knew you'd never break it. The only thing that was breaking was the knot that had tightened inside of you as you released onto his face, and he drank your juices eagerly.

You were panting as you played there, entirely spent. Shigaraki eased his cock into you; it didn't matter that it was soft. He put his head next to yours as the two of you laid chest to chest.

“This, ” he said, pressing his hand to your left breast, “is mine, ”

“My boob?” you asked.

“No, your heart silly, ” he said, nuzzling into your neck.

“Um, tomura, your dick is still inside of me. Are you ready to-”

He cut you off, “I wanna be close to you. Just let me leave it there, ” he murmured, already half asleep.

“Okay, ” you whispered, falling asleep with him inside of you.

[beomglocks]

what soobin is like as a boyfriend

warnings & other: none i just love him but let’s be honest who doesn’t, this gets cheesy in some parts bc he just gives off stereotypical kdrama bf vibes but guys he’s the one

w/c: round to 1k

ok first off 

sorry if i rant soobin is my baby so ofc i think he’s the perfect boyfriend

he’s so

ugh

ok when you meet him he’s a shy boy

like really won’t wanna look you in the eye

ok like super fucking awkward

like painfully and you’re like “hahah ok that’s cute”

that only applies if you look intimidating tho

if you’re one of those people who’s blessed with not having resting bitch face he’ll be flirty

well you know..

he has his own methods of being flirty

he’s charming in his own way

probably does what yeonjun does but more subtle

stares

will stare at you

and when you make eye contact he smiles and rubs his lip with his finger DJSJSKDK PLZ

alternatively: looks away, purses his lips with a smile, ears get red, looks back up to you already looking at him then he waves

youre left like

“omg he’s so fucking cute”

ok but actually like he will reel you in without you even knowing

next thing you know you’re laughing at his lame ass jokes

god forbid you think he’s funny

“you think I’m funny? well we should date” :)

wait im pretty sure he said he doesnt go after someone unless he knows they like him back

tbh he’d probably wait until you make the first move

or wait until you show interest or else he’ll just hide his feelings

you have to bring him out of his shell

once you do...oh boy

100% never leaving you alone

always telling you how much he loves you

he’s the sweetest

teeth rotting sweet

i feel like he would slowly open up to you during the relationship

he’s not like automatically into it if that makes sense

shy to initiate things at first

such as kissing and touching

asks you if it’s ok first

we love consent

free samples kind of guy

dont take him to an ice cream shop or shops in general

he will devour the free samples

next thing you know you’re leaving with goat cheese and the newest ice cream flavour

he gives hopeless romantic vibes

would want to bake with you in the kitchen

and i know this sounds cliche but

flour fight

he’s cute with it at first

just rubs some flour on your nose then next thing you know

“we turned our dog white”

he’s a simple man

however

he probably spoils you

but not like expensive item type of spoiling he isn’t extravagant

god forbid the price range of any of the items he buys you exceeds his actual paycheck

cute gifts that you’ll actually use and cherish

i dont see many fights happening with him tbh

maybe if you question his leadership choices then i can see a fight happening

for example if you think he couldve handled a situation better in a certain way and you point that out to him he’ll get all defensive

“im the leader of my group dont tell me what you think is best for my group”

then you’re just like “well shit fuck you too i was just tryna help”

i can see him distancing himself after a fight if you’re also feeling a bit aggitated

doesn’t talk to you until it’s literally 2am and neither of you are sleeping bc yall always cuddle and you’re not cuddling him

:(

he’s always the first one to say sorry

my god he makes fun of you so much

not on a beomgyu level though

more of a “if you say something silly i will make you feel so dumb for the rest of the day” kind of clowning

wow jealousy

i feel like he’s not super jealous unless he feels threatened

everything was fine until the fire nation attacked

once he sees you getting a little too buddy buddy with someone else he’s like nah i gotta shut this shit down

he’s humble but once he’s jealous he’s all braggy to make himself seem above who ever was trying to get at you

“yeah i think we ALL-”

boy do you have to comfort this big baby

he’s sensitive :(

hold him and rub his head on his off days

tell him he’s the best boy and it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks screw them

he laughs like 

“shouldnt i be comforting you?” 

soooooooooo sappy

cliche asf boyfriend

buys you flowers

if he could he would be doing the whole radio outside your window thing (side note: yeonjun would too be he’s whipped asf)

college bf (we saw it coming)

see also: college bf who helps you in what he can and tells you to screw math bc you don’t need it anyways

shows up at your school or job after his practice

everyone loves him

everyone

you gotta be on guard 24/7

i wouldnt say you’d be insecure per se but soobin definietly lacks awareness when it comes to being flirted with

he recognizes others advances but laughs awkwardly, forgetting to tell the person he already has a partner

~cue mild argument~

at the end of it all he’s like “dont worry i only like you jeez”

if he’s working on a song he asks for your input

or rather how would you interpret a certain emotion that he isn’t able to convey

just to joke around, if he has to write a song about heartbreak but neither of you have been through that he’ll be like

“well there’s a first for everything :)”

soobin 100% takes the time to learn about your culture

he’s invested what can i say

introducing you to the other members isn’t THAT bad

but they definitely clown soobin

txt: “how come your partner is cooler than our own leader”

“maybe they should lead us instead” (joke)

soobin’s like fuck yall i can be cool :(

always send you cute selfies

with messages along the lines of

“i miss you :((((”

“bring ice cream on your way back!”

“be safe tho xxx”

he gives embarassing dad vibes

you can’t introduce him to your friends !

since he has you around he isn’t too shy and once he engages in conversation you better pack your bags

he’s trying to be funny (keyword: trying) but really it’s just your friends laughing to not make the hot idol bf not feel bad

you help him with his script for music bank

speaking of music bank

yes, yes, you are clowning him like the rest of txt and he comes home like

“not you too :(((((((”

hueningkai

my goodness hueningkai

yall tussle over soobin’s attention

sometimes it feels like youre sharing soobin with kai

you love them both but youre like “kai sweetie it’s cold and i wanna be the one to cuddle my bf so please”

speaking of cuddles 

best cuddles

ones where he’s wearing a really comfortable sweater that’s actually nice material and your face gets buried in his chest 

his limbs will be tangled in yours no doubt

but wow he’s so warm you almost never wanna let go

they don’t call him “home” for nothing

tall boy

makes fun of you if you’re shorter than him

yes he does tease you by placing items on higher-than-you-can-reach shelves

kick his shins he’ll give in

you: ”hows the weather up there”

him: “nice actually but you wouldnt know now would you :)”

tell him your problems, tell him anything

he will listen

and i mean let-you-ramble-for-hours kind of listen

but at the end of it his input is always valuable and he isn’t judgemental

he’s a good listener and gives good advice!!!

he’s not the leader for no reason put some damn trust in him!

[kaissauce]

okay, phucker, do it

ok let's do this @rolli-zolli @ninikins

Horrortale: technically an alternate timeline instead of au. after a neutral run where undyne's queen the core malfunctions and food becomes scarce and people resort to eating humans because sans suggested it. Aliza is the protag. latest thing that happened in the ongoing comic was Aliza agreeing to go with Papyrus to solve his last puzzle. as for the appearance of sans he has a HUGE hole on his head and a red eye. he got the hole from undyne when she got his magic eye which was going to be used to power the core. sans didnt die tho and killed the guards holding him down and just took whatever eye was on the ground and used it as a replacement for his magic eye that's powering the core. i quote first words he said after putting the eye in his socket "who the fuck took my phone?". then the magic eye went apeshit and broke the core again. oh and also he made alphys braindead by quite literally scrambling her brain. yeah this au is rough sans hasn't really eaten anything since the core was destroyed since he decided not to eat any humans.

Dusttale: i think this was originally a korean au? basic rundown: too many genocide runs sans goes apeshit and tries to get his Lv up by killing monsters himself man went fuckin insane kills his brother blah blah blah edgy angsty au the ghost of papyrus haunts him n stuff. sans literally just looks the same except he has his hood on and sometimes artists draw him with papyrus's scarf. the cool artists draw him with his hood on and has the hood completely cover his face so u can only see his glowing pupils. although people call him dust sans he's actually named murder sans

Killer: so frickin similar to dusttale except sans goes apeshit because of the human being like "join me lmao". three different outcomes come from this. i think it was 1 sans joins human 2 sans joins human kills human later on 3 kills human or something. friends with color sans who is basically his impulse control. pretty sure his soul's fucked up and Color sans tries to make his soul un-fucked but Nightmare comes in and fucks up the progress. he has white shorts, his eye sockets are constantly pitch black and leaking tar or something also has a weird target thingy on his chest. OH YEAH ALSO HE HAS BEEF WITH UNDERSWAP SANS ALMOST FORGOT. basically swap sans tried to make killer good and then they had a fight, swap sans lost and was on the verge of dying thankfully swap papyrus was able to save him in time i think

Dreamtale: Dream isn't in the drawing but his brother, Nightmare is. Sooo he used to not look all goooy and have tentacles n stuff but then he ate a couple hundred apples and yeah. he's six years old apparently. Nightmare and Dream are supposed to be guardians of a tree that has 500 golden apples and 500 black n goopy apples. the golden aples are positive and the goop ones are negative. you're not supposed to eat either of them cus bad shit happens. Dream and Nightmare live in a village and for whatever reason they're all dicks to Nightmare because ooughh he's the guardian of negativity that's not baller. he also goes apeshit (do u see a pattern here) and eats a goopy apple n then becomes the goop man he is today. he fuckin eats 999 apples jesus christ. and the last one is eaten by Dream because if u eat all 1000 apples u become unstoppable and immortal. so that would be a bad thing if nightmare got the last one. wop wop wop these dude aren't sanses they only have the body of one if that makes sanse.

Error: manlet. he's literally an error and that's why he's like that. also he's technically not a sans now, the redesign for him was so that he could be in the creator's webcomic named Lucidia. Error sans, aka the destroyer of aus, finds aus to be mistakes so he tries to get rid of them. his process of doing this is simple: get the human soul to the void so that they can't reset, destroy the au. he primarily attacks using his strings which can wrap around one's soul and control them. he like some aus like outertale because of how open and empty it is. he likes to be alone and has haphephobia. if u touch him he'll glitch out and possibly crash. he crashes whenever gets overwhelmed. said crashing causes him to shut down and reboot and he's powerless while doing so. he's actually pretty easy to beat if you know how to push his buttons the right way. in the og ask error blog made by his creator Loverofpiggies he kidnaps Swap sans who tries to help Error become a better person. this ends horribly as error leaves Swap sans in the void who then becomes an error aswell due to being alone in the void too long. Error actually regrets doing that to swap sans

Aftertale: OK FUN FACT THE SANS OF THIS AU, WHO'S NICKNAMED "Geno" IS ERROR. aftertale is a comic made by LoverofPiggies it's been SOOOO long since i last read it so i cant really give a good summary. but anyways Geno is trapped in the loading screen with the human and will die if he leaves the loading screen. eventually from being in the loading screen for too long after the events of aftertale he becomes Error.

OOF WOWIE THERE'S SO MUCH TO GO

Underfresh: he's not even a sans either. "Fresh" is a parasite inhabiting a skeleton. his birthday is on 4/20 which is ironic cus he doesn't like drugs. he censors swears. he speaks 90's lingo and dresses like a neon sign. for some reason he has eyebrows and a gold tooth. the glasses he has can change text but normally defaults to "YOLO". he can't feel anything since he has no soul of his own and just latches onto the host's. instead he learns how to act from the people around him. not being able to feel actually bothers him a LOT

Echotale: Aka Gaster sans. uhhh this one was also a comic if i remember correctly. basically Frisk and G!Sans are the only ones in the au and they're trying to find the core to fix the fucked up timeline that they're in but the core keeps changing positions so that sucks.

Swapfell: originally made by Khhoppang who left social media. Started out as an Alphys x Undyne au so only those two were designed but Kh was planning to design more of the characters. before they could people had a field day with the idea of mashing two aus together and SO many people came up with their own designs for sans and papyrus. Khhoppang left social media because they got overwhelmed with all the art reposters and stuff, pretty sad. the appearance of the sans in that au is the purple one with a scythe (i dont think he has a scythe in the og design).

Swapfell Red: so basically this is the swapfell made by people that isn't Khhoppang. community made per se. Sans's appearance changes constantly because as said before many people made many different designs. typically he just looks like Swap sans but with red high heel boots and his color scheme fits underfell

Fellswap (gold): Au made by blackggggum. so swapfell is underswap turned fell, fell swap is underfell swapped it takes a bit to understand that. his appearance is somewhat similar to Swapfell red. He's kind to his friends but if ur his enemy he'll fucking deck you. he's blind in his left eye, the leader of the royal guard, and secretly into dressmaking. fun fact in this au Papyrus has autism

Xtale: uuuuhhhh so Cross is a complicated one. he's part of the royal guard along with papyrus. has beef with xgaster. responsible for the downfall of his au and then Underverse happens and Ink is all "oh cool someone to mess with" and they became friends for a bit then shit hit the fan

Underfell: OOOOO YES UNIRONICALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITES. So Underfell sans is actually a very powerful mf and constantly has his magic eye activated because he has so much magic. This au is also technically an alternate timeline where monsters "lost their humanity" as the creator put it. so basically trust in the underground is scarce. Sans and papyrus, contrary to many interpretations i fucking hate, are actually on good terms (and no sans doesn't call papyrus "boss" the creator said if he does he'd do it ironically and papyrus would hate it). Fun facts he pays Grillby in socks (grillby accepts the socks as payment and wears them), if u make grillby laugh he gives u a jacket that looks like his and it's heavily implied that sans made him laugh because their jackets are similar

Underswap: ah yes another classic that i love as well. originally made by PopcornPr1nce who fled social media because they hated how the majority fandom treated Underswap (Blueberry and Carrot were popular names for the fanon swap papyrus and sans). Swap sans is constantly infantilized by the community which sucks and i hate it so i draw my own very super cool version of him whom i kin because i am also very super cool.

Outertale: mainly an aesthetic au pretty sure there's no comic of it. basically, instead of underground they in space. outer sans dies in underverse after like minutes of screentime lmao

Epictale: a comic made by Yugogeer. the og comic was retconned and the creator loathes the original version and made a reboot that's much better. Sans actually dies very early in it because Yugo hates how Sans is almost always focused on in aus. also the creator hates how meme-y their sans has become (like him saying bruh every single sentence, using a rubber chicken as a weapon, cookies, etc.) he's friends with Cross but not in canon. He has a purple magic eye that makes him immortal and i think only epic gaster could remove it which is how sans was able to be killed when he fought gaster.

Temmietale: it's undertale but everyone is temmie, don't question it

Trainertale: it's undertale but it's Pokemon, don't question it

Dancetale: it's undertale but you dance instead of fight, don't

Mobtale/Mafiatale: im unsure if mobtale and mafiatale are separate or not but they are very similar. basically undertale but mafia it's self explanatory

Undertale: no clue which au is this one, nope not at all/j

Bittytale or whatever idk: so take sans, make him small. boom. never understood this au

THAT BASTARD INK: HOOO BOY SAVED THE WORST FOR LAST. FUCK THIS GUY/j. THIS DUDE. IS THE REASON IM STILL INTO UNDERTALE AUS. I LOVE EM SO MUCH. also technically not a sans. He comes from an unfinished au and ripped his own soul to escape said au and became an outcode. for so long he was just a soulless husk until someone drew him and he got splashed with paint which let him feel. soon he learned to keep the paint in vials so that he can be able to feel 24/7. And then he learned how to create things with a paintbrush and the paint and spent time alone drawing up his own world until a portal appeared and took him to the multiverse. now he encourages artists to keep creating aus. he's the protector of aus in the sense that he keeps other outcodes from disrupting the script of the au, so if it's pacifist and an outcode tries to kill people he'd stop them, if it's genocide and an outcode tried to help them he'd stop them. no matter what he wants the au to stay on script. fun fact the creator of ink and the creator of error never had them interact with each other in canon, that was all the fandom's doing. Contrary to popular belief he's not really considered "good" his alignment is officially "Chaotic neutral". I personally interpret him a lot more chaotic than in canon because it's fun but he's a pretty chill guy actually. he can just be a bit of an ass sometimes. According to the creator of Ink (who is Comyet) his interpretation in Underverse is not canon compliant. one of the biggest canon things that underverse contradicts is Ink deliberately not taking his vials. if he were to do that in canon he'd become a husk again which is the equivalent of him "dying". he was described as a walking corpse by Comyet, without the vials he can't function anymore. Like Error he's pretty easy to beat if you know his weaknesses. also he has fears of empty spaces and being alone

off topic kinda but i very much love how Error and Ink are opposites yet parallel even though they were completely written without the other in mind. Error believes getting rid of aus is getting rid of anomalies. Ink believes people interfering with aus are anomalies. Error loves emptiness, Ink hates emptiness. list goes on it's funky fresh.

also uhhh sanses missing from that drawing that i can name from the top of my head

Seraphim sans, Insans, Dusttrust, He who shall not be named because he's from an 18+ au, Swapswap (yes. that exists), Storyshift, Inverted Fate (very good au i suggest checking it out), Negatale, Oceantale, Template, Pale, Mafiafell, Farmtale

my phone is at 9% y'all are spared from me going on

[souryogurt64]

Now knowing that Pete rarely writes from his own point of view has completely changed the way I hear fob lyrics now. I know it’s very parasocial-y for me to say this but I always thought I kind of understood him through his lyrics and now I have to completely reevaluate what I thought I knew about him because turns out his lyrics aren’t even about himself. This isn’t a bad thing per se but I feel like some of the lyrics have lost their shine to me because now I don’t necessarily understand them anymore. Am I just weirdly attached or something? I’m completely aware that Pete is a stranger to me and the only things I’ll ever know about him are the things that he presents to the public but I’m still kinda bummed that the lyrics don’t mean the same thing anymore. Sorry for the paragraph about a middle aged man in your askbox.

i meaaan you never really know a celebrity but like, for example i always knew headfirst slide was about this "mr sandman" character and this woman cheating on her husband with him,

none of which ever existed in petes married life, but its pretty obvious IMO that lines like "when he walks into the room the walls lean in to listen" could be interpreted about the fame and influence he experienced in his own life, and he cheated on his girlfriends and his girlfriends cheated on him, so its not like its a completely foreign and alien made up story and he never felt any of those emotions a song is about.

similarly, afycso is closely inspired / about fictional stories like moulin rouge and invisible monsters, and certainly characters like an old-timey prostitute and a "constable" arent like, "real", but its also pretty obviously inspired by ryan and brendon growing up religious in vegas and sneaking out to go to gay clubs and their early experiences with drugs and sex and infidelity and stuff which is very much real.

one of my favorite people to write about when i got my english degree was fitzgerald and a lot of his stories were fiction but also closely mirrored his personal life, particularly tender is the night. i wrote a big paper about tender is the night and fitzgeralds career and personal life and the state of america entwining. i (maybe oddly) think pete is similar to fitzgerald in a lot of ways, which is funny because he used to whine in his journals about how he wasnt hemingway in paris in the 1930s and art wasnt the same anymore and the world didnt feel alive. so i guess i dont particularly have an issue with that.

pete is also a huge liar and a kerouac fan and kerouac wrote on the road as a "roman a clef" in which technically all the characters and events are "fictional" but its like, a benzo fueled light interpretation of the real events of the beat movement at that time, and people who were involved in the beat movement knew what he was talking about and who the characters were supposed to be. like in gray people know "martin" is patricks middle name and know who dirty is and know he calls andy the animal. i dont think every single detail of gray happened in the order and way its presented in the book but i think its generally and broadly a pretty accurate depiction of what his life was like when he was younger

[mummer]

@ your asoiaf religions ask

do you interpret the r'hollor priests "resurrections" (well. zombies) as dark magic that's not driven by any god? or do you think r'hollor is some kind of existing entity? (demon / bloodstone emperor / whatevs)

ok so like. i do think beric's resurrections are the one thing i conspicuously dont talk much about because i have no idea how to handle it lol. like first of all this is JUST Some Guy. it's not like the last kiss does that to everybody! as far as we know r'hllor has never brought anybody back before this, so what's his DEAL. love beric, but why him, yknow? it's so fascinating bc he's not a POV, he doesn't have a magic bloodline, it's like he's the protagonist of a whole different story that we're not reading. but i don't think r'hllor is like a literal divine being/god that's floating around doing stuff because he wants to or has an agenda. i think the religion may have sprung up around people using light/fire powers, not the other way around (just like azor ahai being a made up figure personified to encapsulate tales of peoples fighting the long night, passed down and fractured into lots of different tales in different cultures). but yeah the beric stuff is simply perplexing to me. i wonder if there was bloodmagic involved there that we're just not seeing (like drogo)? mm like you said, magic not driven by any god or particular reasoning (and maybe that's the point of beric, right? the Story doesn't need beric to come back for any grand mythic promised-prince plan, he's not relevant to the Song, but he comes back anyway, magic doesn't have rhyme or reason, there's nobody pulling the strings for a desired outcome per se)

but yeah lol i do not think the bloodstone emperor is still around bc it's a mythological figure and i especially do not think azor ahai will be 'reborn' in actuality (yes in imagery but not LITERALLY yknow, we're not doing soul transmogrification, yeah there's magic but cmon).