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#i dont know how to force the people who ACTUALLY need a wake up call on this to see this post
unforth · 9 months
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Unpopular opinion: the heavy push toward anti-advertising on Tumblr does nothing to harm the advertisers you hate but is doing a huge amount of damage to small businesses who rely on reblogs to get the word out about their stuff.
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bhaalble · 10 months
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Back on my Wyll script doctor because I was talking about it with a friend. Specifically imagining a version of Wyll's big Character Choice that felt like it had some actual teeth.
Imagine a world where instead of a cartoon evil hot lady Mizora and Wyll's relationship actually had some complexity to it and like. some genuine push and pull which gives him temptation to stay. I just keep thinking about this 17 year old who his whole life wanted more than anything to be a hero, who got his chance to do something heroic and selfless and save the city from certain doom, and his reward is getting kicked out because he did it the "wrong way".
Imagine if instead of forcing his silence, Mizora instead comforted him. How unbelievably cruel of your father! Well...since you've nowhere else to go, why not stick with me? We make a pretty good team, as it turns out, and I can get you a whole list of monsters who need killing. Plenty of devils and demons loose in your world targetting all sorts of innocents. Our interests can keep aligning, and you get a place to sleep when you need it.
Wyll makes his peace with it, because he has nothing and no one. And Mizora's not GOOD maybe, not by Ulder Ravengard's definition. But she's fun. She delights in his growth. And she does certainly keep direct him at greater evils, devils who really do need killing. And if she spies on his every waking moment, well, she worries. If she sends him after the occasional innocent, well, she had people who she has to answer to as well. She's a devil, how much can he fault her for her nature? She's always seemed like she knew where the line was...
Karlach (and the player) express their doubts, of course, but for act one at least he's defensive. Yes, she punished him and he hates it and its miserable but....he was in breach of contract! She's NEVER gone outside its bounds, she's always stuck very closely to their agreement. Wyll, who wants so badly to trust others and believe everyone has the chance for good, can't find it in him to believe the worst even of a devil.
And Mizora is FOND of Wyll, loves him even in her way. As a cherished pet, as a trusted tool, as a best-laid plan. Never enough to choose his own well-being over her own agenda, never enough to see him as his own person. He's her little project, the long shot noble brat she gambled on when Tiamat decided to get too big for her britches. And it paid off! Wyll always pays off, currying her all the favor from Zariel she so desperately craves. And who are you, or anyone, to come between them? She's treated him well. As she's quick to remind him, she wanted him when no one else did, aided him while the rest of his city slept snug in their beds. And if Ulder Ravengard didn't want a son with a whiff of infernal, then do you REALLY think he'd want you with lovely horns and Avernus in your blood?
You discover his father's been taken. Beyond igniting a lot of old feelings, it brings up a question of succession. Of course, Florrick isnt giving up on him, but if not...there aren't currently any likely candidates to take over the Flaming Fists. Not trustworthy ones. Florrick will take the position, but everyone knows in the back of his mind Ulder never really stopped planning for it to be Wyll. With the city in chaos and a cult army on the rise, they may need an answer sooner rather than later. Wyll feels the call of the Gate, but knows just as well that Mizora wouldn't want him to return in such an official capacity.
For the first time ever the leash starts to chafe in a way he can't keep pushing through.
Act 2 rolls around. Mizora sends up the Warlock signal. After potentially some encouragement from the player, Wyll (NOT THE PLAYER. I DONT KNOW WHY ITS THE PLAYER IN THE GAME ITS WEIRD) hesitantly proposes that maybe, if he does this....they can do a renegotiation of his contract. Not break it, he assures her quickly! Just....reopen the terms, take a looks at the agreement. Maybe discuss an exit ramp? After all....I mean, neither of us truly thought I'd be doing this forever, did we?
Based on Mizora's reaction. Yeah she did.
But fine. She agrees. And Wyll's not mad that it turns out you're rescuing her, not a nameless "operative" for Zariel. He would've done that on his own had she asked. Its the fact that she apparently didn't feel like being honest, that she let him fret and worry about potentially handing Zariel back some runaway for basically no reason. Its the fact that she came here to check in on the cult that abducted his FATHER just to see if Zariel could make any use of them. And its the fact that she seems surprised and annoyed that ANY of this bothers him.
All this builds, of course, to the final confrontation. The basic elements are the same. Mizora outside the coronation (this time needling at Wyll, "I'll be at camp if you're not too high and mighty to consort with the likes of me anymore"), Ulder tadpoled and fighting it. Mizora makes her offer. I can end the contract now, and you're free to go running after daddy (who won't want you btw! not like I do!). You'll lose all your powers, all my aid, all those juicy quests to chase down the greatest monsters in the hells. Take on your father's job and settle in for a life of misery and compromise and only doing as much good as the nobles will let you. Or: pledge yourself to me, eternally. I'll give you a boatload of new powers and eternal life to boot, so long as you serve as my sword and shield.
From there I think three endings branch out, and with it three classes for Wyll. If he stays with Mizora, accepts a relationship where he will never be an equal or a free agent in exchange for the affirmation he wants so badly from his father, he remains a Warlock, with some juiced stats and extra spell slots, along with shiny new gear. If he pledges to follow in his father's footsteps, he instead becomes an Oath of Devotion paladin, pledging himself in service to Tyr, if with a sense of doomed finality. The Blade of Frontiers is officially retired, and along with it any identity he has outside of being his father's son. Or the third path, break the contract without taking his father's role. He will look for his father, yes, but whether or not you find him he's going back to his roots, travelling around to do some good in the world (as the Blade of Frontiers) or kicking ass in the Hells with Karlach (as the Blade of Avernus). In this timeline he becomes a fighter, with a default preference for Eldritch Knight.
What's important: if he breaks his contract then Mizora is NOT hanging around camp. She will leave in a fury, accidentally bound by her own word to withdraw her influence completely if he breaks his contract. She may still approach the player some night to sleep with the player, framed for high approval/romanced players and her trying to take something back from Wyll. But Wyll will have to learn how to define himself without her breathing down his neck, without keeping her happy dominating his every thought. Its nervewracking, and even lonesome at times...but its freedom. And, perhaps, that's worth a little bit of lonesomeness.
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anonymouscheeses · 8 months
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Obvious shit I noticed part 3 (spoilers for welcome to heaven)
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Look at her! "Teehee"
Also she's nervous! Foreshadowing omg 🤯
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STICKERS! Two pride stickers and a cute donut. Gives me an idea to draw Chaggie at a donut shop while everything is burning down <3 (I'll probably do it but if any artist wants to as well go ahead!)
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*CHOKES ON COFFEE* I LOVE THEM. I'M SORRY I GET SO GIDDY WHEN THEY HAVE EVEN THE SMALLEST INTERACTION BUT UGHHH I NEED MORE, IT WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH 🙏🙏
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KISSY! MWA! *SCREAMS INTO THE VOID*
Vivzie give me more, moar now. MOAR
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DAMN. SHE CAN THROW- or maybe it just exaggerates the perspective in this frame but still- ZAMNNN
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Cherri x Sir Pentious fans RISE UP.
I wasn't ever really a fan of it myself but I always thought it was CUTE. Like 3 seconds before this part I was already begging for them to kiss 😭
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More foreshadowing!
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AAAAAA CREEPY BIRD THINGS!!!
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Oh wait- Sera's hot and Emily's already adorable
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If heaven don't look like what this is in the show, I DONT WANT IT! (THATS A JOKE PLEASE DON'T SMITE ME)
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JEALOUS GIRLFRIEND VAGGIE!! Can I just say how much I love Vaggie's face expressions? Not just here but like all the time. She's just made to be so exaggerated, out of all of them I thought it would be Charlie who would have the most dramatic faces but Vaggie wins it for me. I JUST GIGGLE SO HARD WHEN SHE LOOKS LIKE THIS BAHAHAH
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Okay yeah. It's very obvious now. Vaggie is definitely an ex-exterminator. They don't close in on Charlie here so it's made to subtly nudge the attention to Vaggie. HOW DID THEY IMMEDIATELY NOTICE IT WAS HER THO??
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Hot-
That's it.
SHARE THAT MOTHUSSY GIRL-
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YOU'RE TELLING ME SHE GREW OUT ALL OF THAT HAIR?!? YEAH ITS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE THEN BUT STILL AJJSJD.
But overall the design is pretty meh. I always loved the idea of short hair Vaggie and even have seen art of it but it's just yknow, alright. Reminds me of Cassandra from Tangled: the series. IM LISTENING TO ONE OF THE SONGS RIGHT NOW HELPPP
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THIS SCENE HERE! WOOOOO! SO GLAD WE KNOW WHEN AND WHERE THEY FIRST MET!! Wish we got it extended tho. And also probably push it to next episode so it would have a better impact(atleast I think thats when they'll have the duet). BUT WHATEVER SOMETHING IS BETTER THAN NOTHING! or uh whatever
Vaggie must've been a bit terrified at first. The only sinner she ever sent mercy to was a child. Then to see someone who to her is an adult sinner who just looks really human, that must be crazy. BUT THEN IF SHE WAS TOLD THAT CHARLIE WAS ACTUALLY THE PRINCESS OF HELL? HOOOO, LOCK IN AND STEAL HER. THAT'S SOME WATTPAD SHIT. Also, I wonder how long Charlie thought of redeeming sinners. It would make sense to be after meeting Vaggie, since it could have been a wake up call to the fact not all sinners are bad people. Even though Vaggie isn't a sinner technically, Charlie didn't know that at the time. But maybe Charlie was always like this but just needed to meet someone who could start her dream with her. Long rant uhhh
Haha penis 🫵
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SCRAP WHATEVER I SAID IN THE FIRST PART. THEY PROBABLY DO FUCK- OR DONT?? I DONT KNOW- ANYWAY LESBIAN SEX (BOTTOM TEXT). WHY DO I CARE SO MUCH??? SOMEONE PULL THE TRIGGER.
Lute looks like a basic asf anime gorl. Adam doesn't ever take his helmet off, or maybe he just can't. OH HE'S DOING THE GAY SIGN 💅💅 Very appropriate for what he's saying
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Mentor, apprentice. I love that Husk is just trying to help Angel grow but isn't going to force him into it if he doesn't want to.
Im not a fan of huskerdust and think they'd be better friends as I can't imagine a relationship with them at all. But it's still nice and they are supportive of eachother so that's like- yknow. Basic rules. Or something like that. (HELP. I ruined it all at the last part)
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I- girl- WHY IS SHE GROWLING?? GRR GRR RR (INSERT TWILIGHT SAGA HERE)
VAGGIE'S FACE. SENDS ME. WHO GAVE HER THESE OVERDRAMATIC EXPRESSIONS, I APPLAUD YOU RGAGAGA
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Ooo... I didnt like this part at all... Instead of making the choice she just runs off. Then because the plot demands it, Adam says nothing. Kinda whish she atleast avoided the question, maybe in some way that would require actual thinking? For a character like Vaggie, she could choose either way and it feel like it's still her. If she chose to protect Charlie's dream, she would still be perfectly loyal to her but in the act of so would reveal a secret that could harm their relationship(which does happen at the end but that's because the plot wanted it like that). If she chose to side with Adam, she'd be hurting Charlie emotionally, sure, but it would keep a secret that could make Charlie see Vaggie less than who she is to her already(atleast what Vaggie might think would happen). Imo it should've been her deciding to protect Charlie, since it would mean she's devoted to her at all times.
ANOTHER THING! IF SHE COULDN'T MAKE THE CHOICE, THAT IS SOMETHING INTERESTING TO GO INTO. Maybe it could go deeper into how Vaggie doesn't know who she is without Charlie. So when she has a choice to make, like here, she can't do it without feeling the need to ask Charlie. BUT NOOO, YA HAD TO GO WITH THIS!! Wow. That was a long ass rant. Wtf 😭
Maybe I'm a dumbass. Maybe they'll talk about that next episode, but still, atleast touch on it a bit to not seem rushed?
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Angel looking out for his kids like a mom. We always did need the motherly figure, the one closest to that being Charlie but girl needs a mother in her life too(damn, wait, I did her so dirty).
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Huh, so why does it work here then? 🤨🤨 if it was said in the contract that Valentino can do whatever he wants only in the studio, then why is this the exception? 🤨🤨
Yes I'm stupid. Why do you ask? (No genuinely what's happening here)
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OH ITS THE IMAGE! I really like Sera so far, hope we get more of her soon or in season 2.
Now that we know the context of this, yeah, that's fucking insane. And badass. WOMEN.
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HMM. THATS STRANGE. DID YOU NOT FOR ONCE THINK THERE COULD BE A POSSIBILITY SHE MIGHT HAVE BEEN AN ANGEL? Okay I probably wouldn't either but I have an excuse, I'm an idiot. Some girl with a standing out outfit, with one eye, looks unusually human, right after/during the extermination... that's pretty solid ass proof. But I'm dumb so don't take anything i say seriously :D
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Imagine this. No- shit. Just-
JUST LOOK! THEY ARE SO CUTE! EVEN THOUGH CRAZY SHIT IS HAPPENING.
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*SWEATS*
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Vaggie is DESPERATE. PLEADING. That's obvious yeah, but don't mind me I had nothing to say for the last 3 images I just thought they were cool
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I mean. Slay I guess. 😍💅
Do all the exterminators look similar or is it just Lute and Vaggie? 🤨
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Even though Vaggie and Charlie may be going through this horrible thing with a hard punch in the gut, but Vaggie is always going to comfort her and I just think that's so adorable.
Also Adam looks like a chicken hah.
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Everyone fears to be like Lucifer. If they don't do bad things they believe are for the greater good and make sacrifices that put them higher than those in hell, they could themselves be fallen. It's really interesting but I don't know if it's going to be fleshed out enough with the amount of episodes left. Which also worries me about everything else that still hasn't be concluded. There's gonna be loose strings I just know it. Hopefully though they rather do that then rush everything out y'know?
I want the next episode to be mostly focused on Vaggie and Charlie's relationship and the healing of what happened. Not for the entire episode of course, it would feel drawn out if it did, but atleast address the problem for the first like I would say 10 minutes? Then the rest would focus on one or two loose threads while also having Vaggie and Charlie acting upon moving on. That's just my idea but yeah-
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hiding-in-the-vault · 7 months
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isnt this whole wilbur thing a huge warning sign against getting too attached to ccs, because we can never truly know them? why are we celebrating a few fans putting /150/ dollars + whatever the commission fee for the artist was into a birthday present for a guy who just.. doesnt know them? its not like merch or supporting a creator, its literally money in the wind. between this and merch dropping like clockwork but sapnap being the only one actually doing content (and hes clearly just doing it for the kick quota.. sorry but the streams are so lackluster), im getting really disillusioned with the dream team. theyre literally just coasted by because of a hyperdedicated fanbase they dont really seem to give a shit about. people talk about how amazing and kind they are but are they really? we dont know. why are we monetarily supporting millionaires its literally just charity but for rich people at this point, they dont provide any value in exchange. i think people should really consider why theyd rather drop ~180 dollars on a billboard for a rando instead of charity or buying something they want or need. sorry idk i just feel fed up with how much time and money and love i poured into these guys and in response were getting nothing. sapnap didnt even bother to denounce the abuser he used to interact with. i could have donated and actually helped someone instead of buying a fucking hoodie i cant even wear to school because id get bullied.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a little wake up call. They are just some guys that stream and make videos. You’d think the last few Situations™ would teach people to simply not put cc’s on pedestals and expect perfection from them. But you must realize that if you’re going to argue against people giving cc’s money, then you need to go all the way back to every single sub and donation they’ve gotten through twitch as well. It’s always been a luxury some choose to do because they get something out of it. They were never forced or tricked into doing it. And I don’t know how the Sapnap billboard was funded, but I donated to the George b-day billboard. Gave up $5 because I thought it was a fun community idea, and it did not impact my ability to donate or buy things I needed. It doesn’t need to be any more complicated than that. It’s not a streamer's fault that you chose to spend money on them instead of donating.
If you’re upset by the lack of content, then entertain yourself with something else. People have been saying that for ages. If you think their intention is to continue promising content and never delivering just to squeeze money out of fans, then leave. I personally don’t believe that.
Dream believes he does owe us content, but we don’t get to decide when it comes. And you don’t have to give them a dime for it.
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the-whispers-of-death · 4 months
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im now thinking about the organization that deals with the hybrids who can come back to life
i imagine they have every single hybrid registered in the system, and for the cats specifically, how many time's theyve died already, just to know when they actually need to call the funeral services and whatnot, and noone gets buried alive accidentally.
maybe sylvester dies in a car wreck. so i feel like the organization would be the first to know, and take the body into their custody
yikes imagine being stone in this situation,, your husband appears in the news one day as a victim of a nasty car crash and at the same time mārīte starts getting loooong calls from some unknown person (its just a worker walking her trough it all so she knows what to expect. and they probably dont even have stone in the system of relatives because thats more documents to do and more people to talk to) and no matter who he may try to get in touch with, noone has the body
this is also probably when mārīte explains whats going on, but whether or not stone believes it is a different question.
i feel like stone would already be planning a closed casket funeral, and mārīte just has to be like "hey mo no no-! hes not dead. listen to me, give it a week. i promise that in a week's time, i can prove it to you that he's okay. im told he's in a hospital slash lab of sorts. and we can go there in a week. they just need time to update the systems"
ough. imagine when they finally get to the hybrid-hospital. and sylvester just looks. fine. a bunch of scars in places that were not there beforehand, and who healed inhumanly quick.
yknow how music sometimes helps wake people up from comas? that but with voices. its probably mārīte who does all the talking to him. i feel like stone accidentally went on silent guard-dog duty
imagine sylvester wakes up and the first thing he says is "... fuck.. this again?". worst thing you couldve ever said man. heavily implying he's lost lives before (he has. but only mārīte knew that. dont let stone look at those death records, its embarrassing)
i feel like stone can and will heavily protest him being kept there for even a day longer for observation. poor baby :(
i see him trying very hard to pull the "im a doctor, i can take care of him myself" card, only to be hit with "well, sure you can, but based on your reactions you didnt even know the traits some hybrids have. now let the professionals work!" by some very tired doctor.
anyways sylvester's a good patient. he's been trough this before, and is just really annoyed by the paperwork he'll have to fill out now, and by being forced to take medical leave
~ rusty
Stone is in hell.
First he thinks his husband is dead and so he's already spiraling. And then he's told that no, his husband has a nice trait which allows him to revive and have so many lives (lives that his husband has already used up before). And now he has to watch doctors he doesn't trust treat his husband because despite his medical degree, he doesn't know the first thing when it comes to hybrids that have multiple lives.
He just wants Sylvester home and safe. And at least Sylvester is one of those things right now. Hopefully. Stone's not entirely sure these doctors are safe though.
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U dont have to respond to this if you feel its tmi or whatwver but ... I had an odd prophetic dream kind of moment recently , and its been makingme nervous. I had a dream that, Me, my father, and his girlfriend were being spied on/chased after by someone.. Something like that. It came completely out of the blue and i didnt think anything of it! then, that morning, i get a call from my father that hes in town , and that he has to tell me something urgently , and when we meet he tells me that .... For context, his girlfriend 's ex husband is a person with a lot of money and power. and tells me that He has been actively threatening them+has also been threatening my fathers daughter . And that I should be very careful because people like this are capable of everything. Just that night I was visiting the lost all hope website. Ive been in a very bad mental slum . This somehow really , idk, it felt real. It put my troubles aside , because what is happening is real and , there's something . Talking about my dream... I wish I could, and idk how to connect further with this side of myself. I wish i could somehow keep this spiritual feeling ? I really wish there was more things like this happwnign to me. and i know i need to seek them out. but idk how to do it. because im instead stuck in my own head... My father told me i should turn and talk to my spiritual teachers, and ask for them to guide me. I dont know how to go about it. I feel like I need something magical to happen. I really know very little about this stuff. On another note, and im rly sorry if this makes u nervous, ihad a dream tonight that something happened to pochita , and when I woke up i instantly went to ur blog to check on pochita .-.;; I know pochita will be ok though...
awh i am happy to answer this anon, i am happy u cld come to me about it. firstly i want to say i really hope you are ok, ill b praying for you and ur family anon. try to tell urself like a mantra, "no weapon formed against me shall prosper". try to create a feeling of safety in ur heart as u think/say it. envision your family being guarded by an angel army. people with money who use it for evil, they're the most doomed souls. they're living at the lowest frequency possible. you have power over them that u can utilize w your heartfelt prayers. now, as for the dreams: i believe that you may have experienced an ESP dream, picking up on the worries of ur father. its no coincidence, im telling you! from what u psychically were picking up, your dream may have provided a scenario thats priming u to handle this predicament. it shows great sensitivity to be able to not only facilitate an esp dream, but to recall it and apply it to real life. you're on your way anon 🤍 more things like this can happen the more u open urself up to them. however, you cant force it! the more u try to force it, the more it'll repel itself. its hard to explain but.. prayer and study will open up more avenues. listen to whats happening in the back of ur mind. for me, i actually have way more prophetic visions in waking life than in dreams. it took years to rly trust my intuition the way i do now, years of constantly having unusual hunches then being proven right. its a lifelong journey, look forward to it~ ur father is right, ask your guides or angels or whoever, ask them to show u the next step. the magic is all around u, its in the small things, try to notice them and dont ever write anything off as coincidence. thats my advice.. and as for your dream of pochita, i appreciate yr concern ;w; the thing w dream interpretation is, altho u get the occasional prophecy coming thru, most dreams are not meant to be taken too literally. i suspect it was a stress dream and since pochita's injury has been on people's minds lately, ur dream was using her to symbolize something in ur subconscious. she's doing just fine laying at my feet as i type this 🤍 thanku for caring her 🤍 u seem like a sweetheart and i pray for ur family's safety. dont give up hope anon. there are miracles in your future!!!!!!!!!
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hanhan-22 · 2 months
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240719
I guess it didnt mattered , all that I felt miserable and lonely were just a miniscule of what i shall be upset about . Right how did I forgot who was I , how I was raised once born in an ill fated family there shall be no scape.
I dont want to be the selfish heartless bastard she only has me to listen to her thats all she had been doing since i was born just pouring her feelings on me cause she had no other friend or just feared so desperately that people see her not so perfect side and just prefered to dump it on me. Years and years of constant torture on my soul due to sin of being born as child of a narcissit, a bastard that enjoyed manipulating and ruling over his so called family only to become bold enough to point his finger back at the victoms and act as one left me with shattered soul with almost no pain no tear just an never ending sense of disgust about mankind everyone and everything. Thats what happens when you let predators rule over you they never get satisfied with crushing you ,with no fear no shame no guilt and once bored move on and justify whether you deserved or it had in some way benefited YOU ,almost like an animal if dont take it an insult for the animal.
Thats what happened to her , raised as a people pleaser with severe good girl syndrome , married in a pink bubble gum vision shattered by betrayal . Started over but never healed settled for sth she thought others wont snatch and ppl would assume as a good catch for her position , trapped in with a narcissit abuser which used her people pleasing and empathy as a tool to tame her into extreme abundment issues while she raised her children and they became her hope for future , their best friend and somebody on their team and a good excuse to never address this sick stockholm syndrome. Cynicall enough afterall she still uses her resources to keep it all together , she still asks me to be a pawn on the board game to continue this shit while i ask myself shouldnt i havr been protected yes she is miserable but shouldnt she left long before become so broken, shoulnt i deserved to know human emotions and actually feel them wasnt the little me deserved a bit more childhood before numbing my feelings and use hatred as a driven force to escape.
Dont get me wrong i dont blame her the real demon real out of human the piece of good for nothing shit and bastard is my father , the only thing i blsme her is that she didnt see the worst coming thinking garbage has potential and didnt left early before us get damaged this bad.
And i wake up everyday asking what is wrong with me , why there is no will to live or actually more curious on how others are so driven and earnest for life. How should i thrive higher with this altered brain designed to survive misery. What i want while never fully familiarized with simple emotional clues related to choice freedome or happiness. Complex ptsd they say, one shall never actually heal from it but rather with lots of practice gets very skilled at managing it properly in order to live a normal life . Normal well true havent achieved it since the scape , fear of losing fear of getting back fear of not deserving what achieved loneliness and then losing the sense of living time place and even pain .
I feel bad for her i may not care to continue or not but she does want to live, yes she is using me and damaging me too but at least it is done without meaning it unlike the abuser which caused the cptsd of 25 years. Therefore i need to survive once more become better becoming more i dont know how and i fear i wont be capable but as always no one cares what i fear or feel so i shall adopt and suvive.
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heiluceen · 6 months
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Listen.
I don't want to hate you, I feel like I've never been able to have a real adult conversation with you because you try to lie or manipulate the situation even when it's just you and I; I know what you've said and done to me, physically and mentally.
You were never a motherly figure to me, you never learned what I actually liked and wanted out of life; you only gave me things you were unsatisfied with yourself or that you wanted for yourself knowing I'd probably not want it and end up giving it to you, because everything was what you liked so you'd just say "if you don't want it ill take it". Like how about return it and actually try and understand what I like or do something I want to do with me, not just try and buy me with things you would want? I don't have to be exactly what you want me to be, and that's all you've ever tried to force onto me. I am my own person, you don't get to dictate what I want or like out of everything in this world. I want to be treated with respect, not like a person that has to be under your command because you birthed me. I've seen what it's like to truly love and value someone for who they are; and what they choose to offer, not what they could offer me out of myselfish wants like you. People have their own wants, needs, personalities and loving someone dosent mean forcing what you love onto them; but, loving them for what they already love and grow to love even if it's not what you expected. You've talked poorly about me when I don't treat you how you haven't deserved to be treated, but then brag to others about my accomplishments like you raised me while the accomplishments I've made have been a product of me despite you; not, because of you. You always treated me like I was owned by you not like you wanted to help me become my own person, like a mother should. You pretend like you've never done anything bad instead of just owning the things you've done, apologizing, and trying to grow you were stuck in a loop pretending to be the best mother in the world; while making me want to die more and more because I couldn't have any control of my life, a life I never would of asked to be born into but you never cared because it was always about what you wanted and not what you could help with. Relationships are give and take but all you ever could do is take, you could never give; so people stopped giving which is why you ended up on the streets, because you couldn't swallow your pride and realize it isn't all about you. You need to see this as a wake up call and figure out who you actually are and not what you think the world wants you to be. You don't have to be perfect to everyone, it's okay to have flaws and not be the coolest person around; as long as you enjoy the things you like and let others enjoy the things they like you can live in peace, but you constantly judge others to seem like you shouldn't be judged for the same things you are doing as well because someone else may judge you. The trauma of having a mother like you caused me so much damage to my want to please others or help others before myself, and I'm finally at the point of now knowing how and when to kick leachers out; not just letting them suck me dry, like you taught me I should with you. I am my own person with my own wants and needs and I know who I am while you dont, and I'm a good person who let's everyone be who they need to be and don't try and force anyone to be anything they aren't out of the benefit of myself; because I actually know how to love and cherrish people, not try and coerce them into my life and how they view me. I've tried multiple times to give you another chance and instead of trying to get to know me you automatically act like you know everything about me, that you know what's right for everyone, but you could never just treat me like you were meeting me which is why I never stayed. You never tried meeting me, actually knowing me, just wanted me to pretend to be what you wanted and I'm no doll. I'm not perfect and I don't pretend to be. I can admit my flaws and admit I'm working on them because I am human and we all have flaws we just have to acknowledge them so we can work on them and move on. I hope you get to that point, you need to work on it and move on.
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historywillforgetme · 7 months
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copy paste of my speech for school
Dear Society!
As you probably know, we live in a system called capitalism. And people often glorify it, because the opposite, communism, is also bad. We grow up getting to know just how “good” capitalism is, using the weeping of history to justify its actions, and drowning any other ideas, calling them communistic, naming them names of nightmares that happened in the past. We took systems which white people made, and turned them into reality. We do not seem to care about alternatives, because we are forced into it. Remember just how, as a kid, you wanted to become an astronaut? Or an archeologist? Or anyone big, or famous? Remember just how sad you probably were when you discovered that just getting the basis of school will be 13 years? After 8 years of forcefully learning almost all completely useless things, that we won’t use in real life anyways, after 8 years of spending hours at home learning and solving homework, while you could do something that is actually a part of your interests. After all the scolding from your parents for your grades, and from your teachers too, because what could possibly be more important in life than grades? Than these imaginary numbers? We were just kids, and the system failed us. They put us, kids, in imaginary roles, saying “you are a girl, you cannot sit like this!”, “you are a boy, and boys dont cry!’, “pink can only be worn by girls”, etc, etc. It failed us because it destroyed our childhood dreams, for the sake of 1% of the wealthiest people on earth. So I, as a person who’s really, really angry at the system, I come out to you, the reader, listener, to society, for a change. We should refrain from using kind language when protesting, because they, the government, that 1%, never will take us seriously otherwise. They won't use kind words to us, they will want to kill us with cold blood, and swipe us under the rug, so the rest will stay silent, waiting for someone who’ll do something! If you won't stand up, no one will! Just because we feel comfortable with the rules, or think that we do, just because we were conditioned to think so, just because we are scared, shouldn’t stop us from ending it all. Thats what they want, they want submission! We should comfort the poor, and make the one % feel completely and utterly threatened for their safety and lives. Boys, aren’t you tired of the fact that you are shamed for showing basic human emotions? For not being an imaginary, rich, strong, stoic man? Aren’t you tired for being shamed for showing basic human affection to other boys? Girls, aren’t you tired of constantly trying to live up to ridiculous beauty standards? For constantly being reminded that you need to be a “lady”? For being called a slut, a whore or worse just because you wore something comfortable? And I don't care that I'm being impolite. People call us women these words, never care about being impolite. Girls, aren’t you tired of people saying “you’ll never find a guy with this behaviour!”? Queer people, aren’t you tired of being demonised by conservative people? Are we not tired of conversion therapy? Of always being skipped when it comes to representation in the media? Of being told that you are “unnatural”? Well, if we want to see a change, we need to make it ourselves, because most of the people are so indoctrinated by capitalism, the government that they won't do it if they don't see a reason. So i am giving you quite a few reasons:
School system was made to teach the youth to wake up early for monotone work in a factory
You are literally forced to ask for going to bathroom
If you are LGBTQ+ you are hated by half or more of your government because their beliefs say so
You will probably work your whole life just so the rich people get higher salary
The world’s air pollution is in 80% caused by 100 megacorporations
Companies disregard morals and public safety in pursuit of profit
Capitalism exploits the environment and natural resources
It proposes little or no solutions to poverty, while any person who’s in that 1% of wealthiest could solve the world poverty and hunger without bankrupting
Fails to pay a living wage to billions of workers
You are supposed to be exhausted and worried you’ll lose your income to die penniless
If you like drawing, or crocheting, or fixing cars, you want to work. You just don’t want to be exploited.
If you believe in something else than christianity, you will probably have to go to school in your holidays, and will not be able to pray as much as you need in some cases (for example if you are muslim)
We made roles that are impossible to fit in. Who said that we need social classes? I’m pretty sure that the world wouldn’t collapse if we would throw them away. The economy would tho. But the economy is a code for the rich, if the economy is getting better, the wealthy are getting richer, if it’s collapsing, they are getting poorer. Of course it’ll be hard at first. I won’t lie, we will have to get used to our new lifestyle. But imagine that one day, you’ll wake up, and decide that you would like a shirt with a specific thing on it. And instead of thinking “hmmm, do i have enough money?”, you’ll ask yourself “hmmm, can i paint the design or i would need to learn how to make it first?”. Imagine that one day you would walk out of your house and breathe fresh air instead of polluted one, get some fresh tomatoes without any chemicals, and just make yourself some sandwiches. Or maybe more, for you and that person that agreed to help you with painting your walls. Imagine a world without electric bills, because you take power from the sun, the wind or the water. Imagine it. Imagine yourself doing your favourite thing, just because you like doing that, in clothes that you made too, or someone made for you, just in your style. Imagine not having to explain why you are not in a nine to five job today, because you wanted to take a day off. Are you tired? You can just take a nap, instead of waiting for the next few hours. Hungry? Your neighbour has some fresh strawberries, and you know how to make a dish from them. You can just work together to make some food and eat. Imagine this. But we cannot achieve this without getting rid of capitalism.
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rot-room · 11 months
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10-21
Evey night or most nights anyway i like to take a medicine that makes me go to sleep (it used to be seroquel but i cant take that w my current ssri) now i take benadryl or gravol or neocitran as a treat. So i can have a good sleep. And i dream so much but i dream alot even if i dont have a sleep drug. But anyway sometimes i think it is so bad for me that i take medicine every day, but i dont drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes or vape or eat meat or do coke and i drink lots of water and eat veggies and raw salmon, so i feel like im balanced.
I miss seroquel but benadryl/gravol also does the trick. I like gravol because it 1. Stops me from staying up all night with anxiety 2. Stops me from being nauseous. And those are two of my biggest issues at night.
I write down all my dreams every night because they are so intense and vivid and symbolic, most commonly i dream of being responsible for small baby animals and they die and come back to life repeatedly. As of late ive had a few dreams about my highschool lover being at a party and being affectionate with me, and i have sapphic sex dreams pretty often, sometimes where im giving head to a girl and shes telling me how horrible i am.
I also often have dreams where i accidentally eat beef or pork and i have to make myself throw up to get it out of my body. Been having nightmares more often too, but not the kind where i wake up screaming (that happened every night when i was a kid) but rather i wake up disappointed that real life isnt as intricate and cosmically mysterious as my dreams. I go to another dimension when i go to sleep and it is frustrating when i wake up back in this boring, morbid, bleak dimension. But such is life. At least i can love and touch here.
But right now im abstinent and not in love (he takes it from me as he pleases to seemingly test my patience and devotion.)
It is shitty knowing you are in love with someone who is toxic but you cant force yourself to stop but you also know they arent the one you should be with forever. So you just have to let it run its course, anticipatory grief and love and loss in all of its intensity.
I am going to take another benadryl. I need to buy my dad some more because last christmas i bought him some to make up for all the ones i stole, and then im pretty sure he hasnt taken any and ive taken all of them. So basically i need to buy cold medicine and benadryl in bulk because my dad gets upset and calls me a dopehead because every time he actually needs medicine it is gone because i take it to feel drowsy and not nauseous and not scared and stay asleep. Whatever keeps the demons at bay.
I will be grateful and patient. I will love the people i am not supposed to because it is what i am supposed to do. Goodnight.
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xreaderbooks · 4 years
Text
Two sides (2)
Pair: ACOTAR Azriel x reader
Word Count: 3.6k
Warnings: Language, implied smut
Summary: Y/N has been in love with Cassian for centuries now, Just how Azriel has been with Mor. Both heartbroken by their unrequited love they fall into a routine of 'one-night stands', Not realizing their each others mate.
Masterlist - Part 1
A/N: So I dont know how accurate the mate information is, like I said before I haven’t read the ACOTAR series since 2019 so I probably got a couple things wrong or didn’t write the characters the way you would expect them to act. I chose to make them more how they would be in head canons if you get what I mean. Either way I really hope you enjoyed the 2nd and final part to Two sides :) Feel free to send requests for Azriel or any other Acotar characters. Thank you all for the support <3
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"We need to talk."
"Okay," Azriel says skeptically, he walks over to sit on the chair across from you.
"I wanted to apologize for the other night," You shifted in your seat as you spoke, you were noticeably uncomfortable. That bothered Azriel, he wanted you to feel natural not forced, he didn't know where that desire came from but it was true. Even if this conversation was a bit awkward. "I never meant to make you feel used, I guess, I just needed a distraction."
"From seeing Cassian and Nesta together?" He asked. You bit your lip and nodded. "Y/N, I didn't feel used." He let out a small chuckle. "I enjoyed it, actually. And a bit flattered that you chose to-" He coughed awkwardly, "share that part of yourself with me." You grinned. You eased up a bit after knowing that Azriel didn't feel bad about what happened the other night, and even enjoyed it. It also warmed your heart at the fact that this was one of the rare moments that he felt comfortable enough to talk about how he was feeling. Despite it probably being out of sympathy or to defuse the tension.
"Oh," You chirped "well good. The last thing I wanted to do was fuck up our friendship."
He shook his head, "Y/N you've done a lot in the past few centuries that could've fucked up this friendship and we're still okay, better than okay considering. Besides Mor and I are still friends even after..." He tensed up, you went over to him and hesitantly put your hand on top of his.
"I know." You gave him a small smile. "I have an idea, I'll admit it's not my brightest but it will benefit the both of us."
His eyebrow quirked, "Your ideas are never the brightest, that's why you're just my second."
"Okay, wow." You blinked, removing your hand, and started pacing around the room. "First Rhys made me your second because I'm good at my job and you're just better cause of your shadows." He glared at you when you made the comment about his shadows. "Two, I've had a couple of good ideas in the past you just never go through with them."
"Maybe it's because all your ideas are reckless and we'd get caught if we did our job by using your so-called good ideas." He got up to meet you when you turned around to face the other way, you were met by his chest in your way.
You huffed when you looked up at him. "Whatever, I'm pretty sure you were going to like this one." He gave a nod to continue. "I- you know what I think it's better if I just show you."
He cocked his head to the side. You took this as an opportunity to grab him by the back of his neck and slammed your lips onto his. Immediately after he put his hands on your waist, pulling you closer. He started walking backward, leading you towards one of the bedrooms. Your foreheads pressed together but you paused from kissing him, catching your breath. You knew he could hear your heartbeat, beating quicker by the second, his heart was beating faster too. It gave you all the encouragement you needed to start taking off your clothes.
"So this was your bright idea," Azriel asked, while also hurriedly taking off his clothes.
"Mhm." Was your response before nodding and relocating your lips onto his.
The intensity of it made your heart stutter. You wanted him and at that moment he wanted you. He truly wanted you, you both felt it and took that feeling, using it to fuel the passion in that kiss. He moved down to your neck, nipping and biting at it. You moved your hand to slowly graze his wings, which made him freeze. Azriel gave you a look that made your body go on overdrive.
He picked you up, you wrapped your legs around his waist as he continued to "eat your neck" as Cassian had said all those days before. You rolled your eyes at the thought, but then they rolled back as Azriel bit at a sensitive area that intensified that already intoxicating feeling you got when you were with him.
And you wished it never ended.
~~~
"How do you feel about this?" You asked, hoping he'd be okay with it. So far he hadn't opposed.
"I don't want to hurt you." He confessed. You knew he meant physically, he could be a little rough sometimes. You were okay with that though, You rolled your eyes at his comment.
"I'm serious Y/N." He looked you in the eye. You were back at the training grounds of the Illyrian camp. You didn't specify any details, so you both didn't care about speaking in public.
"I'm a big girl, I think I can handle it." You began to walk ahead of him, He grabbed your forearm and pulled you back to face him, a hint of a smile on your face. "Only if you're sure."
Your smile faded once you saw that he was genuinely concerned. "Az, you wouldn't hurt me. I trust you."
He froze and let you go. He had a hard time letting people see how he was feeling but you could tell he was struggling with letting you in and his self-deprecation.
~~~
You had kept your secret "relationship" hidden from everyone else, as much as you could. It didn't take long. They were extremely nosy and it was difficult with Mor being your best friend. She always knew when you were lying and had insisted you were acting differently. You would always blow it off and say you had a good day, telling a random story you just thought of on the spot.
Cassian had continued to tease you about your secret lover-- which only intrigued Mor even further-- you avoided the truth most of the time. You and Azriel would be extra careful when doing what you did. Sometimes even going to Inns and you would both winnow to the location.
Going through all that trouble only for Amren to find out and threaten to tell the others. She tried to blackmail you into buying her a pure diamond bracelet. As if she couldn't afford it yourself. You talked to Azriel about it and you both decided you didn't care if anyone else knew, it's only a matter of time before they found out anyway. Plus you could use the money to buy a house somewhere private in Velaris. You enjoyed the privacy and lack of teasing for as long as it lasted.
Amren didn't tell but as you predicted, everyone did find out. Some already had suspicions like Mor, Rhys, and Feyre. Amren wouldn't have known if she hadn't caught you both and Cassian never would have thought. You'd be lying if you said you weren't disappointed at him not showing any sign of jealousy. You knew he wouldn't be, being caught up with Nesta and all but you still held hope. You considered yourself a fool and would try to fuck the feelings out of you with Azriel. And most of the time it worked.
~~~
Months went by as sleeping with your best friend became your new normal. You never would have thought that you'd be one of those mysterious girls that Azriel hooked up with, ever since that night, you were the only girl. You had to admit, you liked the idea; being Azriel's only girl. But you knew that although you would be the only girl in his bed, Mor will always be on his mind. Not that you blamed him, you were still somewhat hung up on Cassian. After you can't get rid of 500+ years of feelings.
As you laid next to Azriel, who now stayed nights instead of leaving right after, You admired his tattoos, the intricate designs, you fought the urge to trace them. You did anyways but only a centimeter away from his chest so you wouldn't wake him. In the morning light that slipped through a slight gap in your curtains, It shone right on him. He looked ethereal.
You always knew he was attractive most Illyrian men were, at least if they weren't assholes most of the time. You had time now, to actually take in his beauty. You could never understand how someone so beautiful and kind could be so broken. You guessed that's why you chose him to spend your nights with, instead of some random guy. You could help him and heal him and get him to appreciate himself more.
The shadows around him became more active, it made him tense up. He was awake. You lifted your hand up to up to move the stray hair that fell onto his face. At that moment, you felt your world shift an overwhelming sensation of love and adoration consumed your body and you snatched your hand away from him. You were in pure shock.
'Holy fuck' Was the only thing going through your head.
"What's wrong?"He questioned as if he could sense your distress. His voice hoarse from just waking up.
"Nothing." You said, immediately getting up and getting dressed in whatever you had closest to you. "You should, um, You should get going. I have a lot of reports to do, I've been holding them off but Rhys has been asking me for them for the longest so I should get on it."
Azriel sat up, the bed sheet covering one leg and another part. His perfectly sculpted body in your bed, the lighting, half of his leg uncovered by the blanket. You tried to compose yourself to figure out what you would do. Hoping that he didn't pick up on how different you were acting. It was no use he probably already expected something was up.
To try to ease the tension you sat next to him, brushing the hair out of his face, dragging your fingertips down to the side of his face, and kissed his cheek. You ignored the tingles you felt as his face nuzzled into your hand. Hesitantly, you remove your hand and got up from the bed, and sat at the desk you had in your room. You pretended to read through old letters from officials.
Azriel took that as his cue to leave. He got dressed and pressed a kiss to the back of your head before he left.
He definitely knew something, that's not how your mornings usually go. You would at least spend an hour or two together either talking or enjoying each other's presence before sending each other off to your respective duties. However due to your new discovery of Azriel being your mate. You panicked. What would you do now?
~~~
Hours had passed and you hadn't left your room, choosing to focus on the reports that you did in fact, have to do. Rhys just wasn't expecting them for another week or so. Mor then busted into your room. "Knock, knock bitch."
"Uh, hello gorgeous, didn't expect a lovely visit from you today." You said sarcastically, turning your chair to face her. She dropped the shopping bags onto your floor. You lifted a brow in question.
"We're going on a trip!"
"I'm busy." You turned back around to focus on what you were writing.
"It's a fun work one." You twisted your chair around again.
"How do you mean?"
"Day court gala, bonding with people, gaining trust, and all that." She waved it off as if you didn't need to know actual information. You decided you'd ask for details from Rhysand later.
"And you went shopping." You gestured to all of the bags. "like you don't have tons of outfits you could take."
"Well of course I do. These are for you." She grinned.
"W-what?"
"Just because you're supposed to be invisible and all that, doesn't mean you have to be like that all the time." She referred to your job description, being another spy for Rhysand, relying on you being a woman to get information from people Azriel couldn't. Kind of ridiculous considering Azriel's shadows allowed him to get all the information needed but it was an easy enough job. Unlike Az, you didn't have shadows to command so you stuck to your black outfits tunics, and suits that would help you move easily. You never really dressed up, unless it was for an occasion, but you enjoyed doing it when you could. Most of the time you would be on duty or something like it so you couldn't.
This Gala gave you the perfect excuse too. You were thankful to Mor for having bought you these dresses and accessories. You were pretty sure you had worn all the dresses you had in your closet already.
"Yeah, you're right." You gave her a half-smile. Part of you wondered what Azriel's reaction would be to you in one of these revealing dresses. You shook the thought from your head. You would dress for yourself not for some male, even if that male is your mate.
You debated whether to tell Mor or not. She might be able to help you with your internal battle. Part of you was hurt about Cassian not being your mate. Another part always knew that he wasn't, and another part of you wondered how Azriel would react. Did he feel the bond snap into place? Or was it a Feyre-Rhysand situation where the bond would snap into place at another moment? Would he reject you cause you weren't Mor?
You opted to tell Mor at the day court where you would have more space and privacy from the others.
~~~
Helion's words about uniting and bonding were very heartwarming and kind, but you couldn't get past the thoughts that swarmed your mind. You took advantage of this time with everyone listening to Helions welcoming speech and sneakily made your way over to where Mor was standing. You pretended to greet her with a kiss and whispered in her ear to meet you in the room you were staying at.
"Thank the cauldron you came along, Helion was droning on and was about to make me fall asleep." She joked as she sauntered into your room. She paused her amused tone as soon as she saw your face. "You were fine like two minutes ago."
"Glad to know, I'm good at hiding it." You forced a smile. She tilted her head as if to ask you 'what's wrong', so you told her. You told her that Azriel was your mate and how it happened. You told her of your fears of rejection and confusion with your love for Cassian. It was a different love now, you felt it. There was a shift in what you felt towards Cassian and more intense feelings for Azriel. You suspected the bond but you didn't mind it. You then opened up about your insecurity about him rejecting you for her. Which she shut down, though she knew what you meant.
"Mor, Azriel loves you, like I loved Cassian. What if his love for you is stronger and he refuses to let go. We all know the only reason he never went for you is his trouble with his self-worth." Those were harsh words, but they were true. "He could easily reject me for you, knowing you don't love him in that way."
"You don't know that Y/N. And you loved Cassian, probably as much as Azriel loved me. After all this time you spent together, you truly don't think he would have changed the way he feels for me?" She grabbed your hand in hers. "You and Azriel are like two sides of the same coin, he's all dark and brooding and you, well you're the same in some ways. But you bring out the light and you can cast out all of his darkness with a simple smile."
"I don't know." You whispered. You were scared. Your feelings for Azriel already began to grow, without the bond, with it in place now it was strengthened. Your feelings for Cassian was a background noise that would soon grow into a more familial type of love.
"What should I do Mor?" You whimpered, you put your face in your hands. "I feel like a girl with a crush. This is ridiculous."
She laughed and nodded. "Yes, yes it is. On the bright side, if he doesn't know about you being mates, you could still have fun with other people."
You gave her a look. "You forget that he's my designated person to 'have fun' with."
"I didn't know you had a conversation on exclusivity." She shrugged and walked over to the cart that had alcoholic drinks, at the corner of the room.
"Technically we did when we agreed to sleep with each other when we felt like it." You reasoned.
"Hm." She mused, sipping on her drink. "I still say enjoy tonight, dance with a few males, or females, and if you two end up having sex with him again just enjoy the time you have with him."
"Thanks for the talk, Mor."
"Of course darling, by the way, I highly doubt he'll reject you. If he does he's an idiot and I'll kill him." She sent a wink your way and left you in your room to think.
~~~
Azriel watched as you swayed your hips to the beat of the music. A man who he didn't know came up from behind you, keeping up with you. That was the first of many. He felt a twinge of jealousy in his gut. He attempted to force that emotion down. He couldn't understand where that was coming from.
He was keeping watch, even though he always made sure to keep a lookout for danger to his court. Mor and Cassian tried to get him to ease up, he didn't budge. Who would pry Cassian from more liquor when he's had enough to drink if Azriel wasn't sober? He used the excuse of being the only responsible one to keep an eye on her. Y/n, Azriel thought he knew what it was to love someone because of Mor but what Azriel felt for Y/N was different. It felt raw and real and whatever it was, was growing fast. She was easy to talk to, not that he did much of that but she listened, actually listened when he did, and she didn't pry or hover as much as the others. They tend to beat around the bush when wanting to know about what was going on with him. Unlike Y/N who would take her time to make sure he felt comfortable and if, he wasn't, she would change the topic and act normal.
Y/N was a calming presence that allowed him to just be. She brought out another side of him that he thought he could never be.
That's why when he felt a change in the way he saw her dancing with a new guy than the one she was with earlier, it all made sense. She was his mate. He saw red as he practically flew to where they were. The fae males' hands that were roaming your bonds were ripped away from you and he dragged him away. Azriel pinned the man against the wall. People began to stare and talk in hushed whispers, appalled at the sight.
"Never touch my mate, again." He growled. He dug his fingers into the guy's neck.
"I-I didn't know." The man choked out.
"Well, now you do." He muttered, letting the man slump to the ground. He went over to where you were standing, eyes wide. His eyes softened while looking at you. He slowed as he got to you. "Can we talk?"
You nodded your head and began to walk toward an empty hall.
"I'm sorry if I scared you." He kept his voice low but soft. He was afraid, you would want to run away.
"You didn't." You stood there staring at him. You tried to figure him out, to no avail. His face was always stoic. "I- I thought you'd reject me and now I don't know what to do." You confessed.
"You knew?" He tried to recall if you had acted any differently. His shadows had felt the change in your demeanor and set out in whispers when you were rushing him out. He brushed it off, he should've looked more into it. The last thing he wanted to do was to make you feel unwanted or rejected.
"Since yesterday morning." You confirmed. Your anxiety consumed you, you heard of the pain that came along with being rejected by your mate. Some have died from it. Little did you know Azriel was worrying about the same exact thing. Not thinking himself worthy enough of your affection. He allowed himself the pleasure of being in bed with you, assuming it was nothing more and he couldn't get hurt you or be hurt that way. It was a release from another pain you both had the displeasure of feeling.
"I want you to know it is an honor to have you as my mate." He took a step closer.
"Really? Honestly, I thought..." You shook your head. "Nevermind."
He looked confused but let it go, if you wanted to tell him you would. "Guess this means I have to go cook you something." You let out a laugh. He smiled an actual wide beautiful smile. Azriel grabbed your face and kissed you.
It was soon interrupted by a very drunk Mor who shouted, "Finally!"
Cassian was right behind her, "Mor! I forgot where the bathroom was, can y-" He paused looking between you and Azriel. "Oooh getting freaky in the hall, that's new. Hey Y/N if he isn't hitting it right, you know where to find me." He winked at you. Azriel gave him a murderous look, putting his arm in front of you. 'So he's gonna be one of those', you thought.
You couldn't wait till the second part of the mating process.
Tags: @wildchild2707​ ,@theworthlessqueen​ ,@ciciakai​ ,@rockinginneverland​
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suguruverse · 4 years
Note
hi angel! i recently read your “being best friends with oikawa and iwaizumi” and i was wondering if you could do one for kuroo and kenma? thanks in advance, i love ur blog !!🥺
— BEING BEST FRIENDS WITH KUROO AND KENMA
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includes - kuroo tetsurou and kozume kenma
a/n - hi my love!! thank you so much for this request <33 i hope you like it!! also two post in one day who tf am i 
published date - 21/03/21
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- i swear you and kenma bout to make kuroo feel like a single dad to 2 kids
- Mr. kuroo is def the type to bring extra water bottles and lunches for you and kenma
- he texts the gc every morning and night to ask if you and kenma has eaten breakfast, dinner or drank any water
- both of these men keep and hoodie or sweatshirt in their locker and bag, just in case you need one
- you guys take the train together when going to school and back and kuroo always sits in the middle to let you and kenma rest on his big shoulders 
- cuddling with kenma when you’ve had a bad day
- you’re normally buried into his chest and his arms go over your shoulders to he can keep playing games and give you little head pats every 4 minutes
- sometimes when you just wanna have a chill day with kenma without kuroo, he will burst in kenma’s room and start yelling about how he demands to be more loved in the friendship
- you and kuroo have roasting battles all day everyday
- even if kenma is more reserved and distant than kuroo, that doesn’t mean that he won’t pick up your call at 3am because you couldn’t sleep, because he will
- they are the kings of giving head pats
- kenma cares and worries about you in a very silent way, so silent that you may not even realise, but he cares about you more than anyone
- the sleepovers are terrible and ill tell you why
- first because kenma doesn’t even sleep, he plays all night and doesn’t stop until you curl up next to him and snatch the game away
- secondly, kuroo snores, kicks, and talks so much in his sleep that you want to hit him every time
- one time you tried to cuddle him because you were cold and he full on kicked you in the stomach and it hurt so bad that you cried
- kenma just watched you kick around in pain, not really knowing what to do, so he slapped kuroo in the face to wake him up to deal with you
- you didn’t talk to kuroo for like a week
- when you guys hang out, it’s normally at someone’s house since kenma isn’t too fond of crowds
- but if you guys happen to go shopping or to the movies, kenma is the type of person to grab onto the hem of your shirt or sleeve so he doesn’t lose you
- but one time kenma disappeared into a gaming store and didn’t tell you or kuroo so ya’ll had to make an announcement for you and kuroo’s “baby”
- kenma was not amused
- copying of kuroo’s homework is more common than you think
- ya’ll literally don’t have any other friends except for the people on the volleyball team
- one time you complained to them that you wanted more girl friends and they laughed in your face
- i feel like kenma can’t really sleep without hearing you or kuroo’s voice so you guys always facetime before bed
- and if you can sing, kenma ‘forced’ you to sing a song/lullaby for him to sleep to
- kuroo also has moods were he HAS to see you and kenma like at all costs because he starts to get a little anxious without either one of you with him
- kuroo also has the habit to run up to you, pick you up and swing you around in a tight hug whenever he sees you
- you HAVE to go to their games. it’s basically a rule
- kenma acts like he doesn’t care whether or not you come to their games but he always tries a little bit harder when he see you in the crowd
- kenma loves it when you play games with him
- the volleyball team sees you a lot thanks to kuroo and kenma so the team is always trying to be your friend but kenma will kick them away and say that they’re annoying
- when you guys were little, a pact was made so that if you guys were still single by 30, you guys had to get married to each other
- you actually have a lot of matching things with kenma (because he like you more than kuroo)
- but once again, kuroo didn’t feel included so ya’ll went out and bought a bunch of matching things
- kuroo definitely calls your princess or ‘my love’ and kenma makes fun of him because he says that kuroo is so single that he has to call his best friend cheesy nicknames
- kenma just calls you by your name
gc name: bestie vibes only + kuroo
kenma: where’s y/n
kuroo: idk go find her
kenma: shut up i asked a question
kuroo: and i said that i dont know
you: HELLLLOOOOO I AM HERE
kenma: missed you
kenma: i can’t believe you left me alone
kuroo: im right here
you: sorry ken, i got caught up in something
you: you guys ready to go now?
kuroo: you smell different
kenma: you smell different
you: what do you mean? i didn’t do anything
kuroo: you smell like mens cologne 
kenma: its gross
kuroo: who have you been hanging out with????
you: no-one??? i dont think i smell any different
kenma: smells like axe 
kuroo: nah y/n, you’ve got to be kidding me
you: guys what?? stop being dramatic.
kenma: have you been hanging out with tora?
kenma: wouldn’t recommend it 
kenma: spending time with me is better
kuroo: us*
kenma: right. us
kuroo: anyways take your shirt off
you: okay stop stop. no. i don’t care if i stink. i’ll change when we get to kenma’s house
kenma: no, you ain’t coming into my house smelling like another guy
kenma: plus me and kuroo are busy rn
you: doing what?
kuroo: murder
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bloodycassian · 3 years
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darkness defined - 
az or cass x reader idk if this makes sense or not but here we go, either az or cas POV where reader (their mate) was stuck under the mountain with rhys and doesn’t come back bc she is still locked in the dungeons (rhys just assumed she died, he doesn’t know she is still alive)  Switch to readers POV, a few months later where they think their mate and their family (the night court) has abandoned them bc nobody ever came looking for her. Reader is like on the verge of death and uses her last energy to send a pulse down the bond. Switch back to az or cas POV  who are basically freaking out with guilt and anger and worried-ness. Im sorry it’s super long don’t feel pressured to write this anytime soon idk if it even makes sense  
DONT APOLOGIZE FOR BEING SPECIFIC! I LOVE WORKING WITH THIS KIND OF STUFF PLEASE DO MORE LOL
Cassian was a wreck. From the moment Rhys came home alone, and until the end of time it seemed to be. Azriel sighed, watching his brother down his second bottle of alcohol. His eyes were red, face gaunt and pale. The circles under those tortured eyes looked more like bruises. 
He hadn't talked to Rhys much since the news came that you were gone. Cassian had practically blown the roof off the house of wind, then disappeared for two weeks. The only reason Rhys had let him was because Az followed, far behind just to make sure he wasn't going to do anything drastic. 
Azriel watched his brother circle the mountain, only to have to turn away. Wards made by Helion himself refused entry to anyone while the mountain was still being evacuated of Fae. He glared daggers at the people streaming outside the shield. His heart was a painful stab in his chest constantly. His mate.. gone. He refused to believe it. And Azriel saw the denial there, plain as day. 
Azriel had only stopped him once. When he packed a bag and started his flight to Hybern. He earned a black eye and a verbal lashing for that, but it had saved Cassian from going on a suicide mission.
After a month of being out, he went to his brother. Rhys refused to ask Helion to lower the shields around the Mountain, and finally Cassian seemed to give up. He would have gone to Helion himself, but the wards around his court prevented him from doing so. Rhys was torn up over the entire experience of under the mountain, but losing you was one of the worst parts. He would never forgive himself for losing his brother's mate. 
Azriel watch his brother's eyes get more and more dull. Watched the bottles stack up. Rhys wasn't around much, busy regaining control over his city, getting updated. And keeping an eye on Spring Court.  Cassian sighed when the bitter liquid hit his tongue. He drank like it was salvation. Like it would lead him back to you. Plus, it helped him sleep. It was the only time he could sleep without seeing you, without feeling that pull - the command his instincts gave. "Find me, find me. I'm here. I love you. Please."  He often escaped to the cabin. To not have to talk to anyone, and to keep Rhys from stealing his bottles from him. Cassian was convinced Rhys was saving them to drink for himself. That's where he found himself flying, bottle of booze in hand. The guilt a lead weight in his stomach. 
The door shut, and he finished the first bottle in an hour. 
Mor appeared beside him, took the second bottle from his hand and had a long drink herself. He smiled drunkenly, showing too many teeth at her. He wasn't sure if she was actually glowing or if it was his eyes squinting too much. "Cheers." He slurred, taking the bottle back and downing more.
+ The walls were getting drier and drier with each passing day. The once cool winds that would cut through the stone dungeons were turning softer, warmer. It was a welcome relief, but without the muddy water from the walls...you knew you didn't have much left. Your spirit was crushed, on top of it. Death seemed like not a terrible option anymore.  Especially knowing that your court - your friends - your family had left you. They had just... forgotten. Thrown you aside like nothing. Didn't even try to find you. Like the Winter court skeleton in the cell beside you, just left to die.
  You pushed the thoughts back, knowing that logically that wasn't true. But you couldnt come up with a reason why they would leave you down here. You prayed, you tried sending thoughts down the bond. Nothing worked. Sometimes your mind got the better of you, and you would rush to the bars of your prison cell when you thought you heard faint footsteps. 
Then you would hear your own voice echo back, and no one else.  Eventually you stopped getting up. You let the fantasies keep you entertained while you lay on the floor. Not caring about the bugs that crawled on you. You were glad there wasn't a mirror to see yourself in. A wave of dizziness crashed over you, and you fell into darkness. 
When the water ran dry, you stopped bothering calling out for Cassian. The bond was there, but saturated. Trying to grasp it was like trying to hold wind. You were too exhausted. So you propped yourself up in a corner and let the dizziness pull you under again for a moment. Taking rattling breaths, you let your mind wander to that mind bridge. That once sturdy marble that would always remind you of Cassian. 
You sent out a final tug down that bond. Using the last of your energy, you put all your effort into it. "I'm here, I always will be. I love you. I'm sorry." The platform you imagined your bond being seemed to go dark, and lifeless. Empty.
+ Cassian shot upright, head spinning. Mor was asleep beside him, her feet on the table. He shook her, trying to shake the stupor. "Wake up. Wake up!" She groaned, weakly batting him away. He took a breath, trying to steady himself. He wobbled to the kitchen, dunked his head in the cold sink water and slapped himself a few times. The haziness from his stupor crawled away, slowly. 
Mor appeared in the archway, rubbing her eyes.
"Get Rhys. I need you to winnow us." He demanded, patting her face softly. Her eyebrows knit together but she stretched, and sleepily obliged.  + You assumed the crackling was just your starved imagination. Again. But the wind changed as well, and you tried not to let your hopes up. You weakly opened your eyes, to the same familiar cell. A silent tear slid down your cheek.  Then there were the shuffling of footsteps again, and you hid your face in your hands. It seemed like all the imagination tricks were attacking at once. You wanted it to stop. You wanted nothing more than to just fall asleep until you could see and hold Cassian again. Voices, now.
The sweet deep voice of a man who spoke another language. An ancient language. Your ears rang. You cracked your eyes again, to a blinding white light. You held a hand in front of your face, trying to see behind it. 
A thud, and scrape of metal. Then the scent hit you. It was similar to what you had imagined but somehow a million times better. Then, his arms were around you. "Mother above." He breathed. You would have thought the mother took you at last if it wasnt for the pain in your gut.
"We got you honey, I'm so sorry. Im-" He tried to hold back a sob. You smiled weakly at the familiar, yet different eyes that you loved. The marble platform you shared seemed to be lighting up with happiness. At the same time, crumbling and falling with shame. Anguish. 
Rhys began winnowing the group immediately, nodding to Helion. The high lord gave him a melancholy smile back, and winnowed himself in a flash of light. He would check the rest of the mountain with his forces and repair the wards before he returned to his home. 
Everyone surrounded the healer, watching her work. Mor was trying to stay calm, but her hands shook when she held Amrens. Rhys and Azriel both had jaws clenched, shoulders tense. Watching the way Cassian's tears fell on to your shoulder as he cradled you. The healer squeezed  his arm softly, silently requesting him to move. He didn't.
Azriel went to his brother, wrapping an arm around him. "Your mate needs you to be strong, Cas." He consoled, pulling him away gently. Cassian held you tighter, just for a second then nodded and let go. He held your hand firmly. His warmth missing from your body was a shock. You began shivering. Amren tugged a blanket off the guest couch nearby and placed it over your legs. 
"T-thanks." you muttered. Her eyes widened, but she nodded. Her and Rhys glanced to each other. A silent conversation. You didnt care. 
"Cas?" You squeezed his hand, and there he was. His pale face looked ragged. He seemed like he was struggling in every sort of way. You didnt want to imagine what he was looking at when he looked at your features. You could practically feel your cheeks sinking in, your bones losing their density. "I missed you." You smiled, trying to lift his mood. 
His lips quivered, and he nodded. He kissed the back of your hand. "You wouldnt believe how much I missed you. All of us did." he glanced to Rhys. His face was blank, but that steady stream of power seemed to be crackling outside. 
You let your eyes drift to each of your friends. Each of their tear stained faces were such a welcome relief. Over a month alone, their presence alone was enough to soothe that part of you that doubted their love. 
Cassian kissed your forehead, before the healer's light knocked you into a peaceful sleep. 
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Ive seen a lot of Dream (and usually Techno and Phil too) as gods au (i have one too dw) but all of you are sleeping on the funniest option.
Tommy is the god.
Tommy.
hes the only one in that galaxy (other than drista ofc)
Just imagine how fucking funny it is like 
it would be so fucking hilarious
and tommy just doesnt tell them
so techno is just there making all these blood god jokes and jokingly telling tommy to serve him and tommys just laughing
imagine a god in the form of a chaotic 16 year old racoon gremlin just walts into your land commits arson and gets banned, only to come back with another person who he helps start a nation for drugs?
imagine how fucking funny it is
just
imagine tubbo banning a literal god from his lands and he just doesnt come back? he just plays by the rules? then goes and like sits in the corner all sad because some humans/dreamons told him to leave
ranboo, just joining the server: hi-  a chaotic gremlin god: wanna commit arson with me?  ranboo, just trying to vibe and maybe not disturb this god: sure 
Phil and Ranboo recongnize Tommy as a god on sight.
Everyone else just refuses to believe it. hes Tommy. Tommyinnit. hes just weird lol
And Drista being a fucking chaotic blood god? 
drista is open about her godhood and does not hesitate to spawn blocks
Drista finds Dream and decides she likes this small human, and dream just has to deal with it lmao.
drista and tommy are both born at the same time.
Tommy is a god of music, chaos, war and theivery (the last one bc he is a BITCH)
Drista is the blood god, chaos, deception, and theatre
okay but imagine the sbi interactions... like ig in this au tommy joins at like 12/13 years of age (in their minds) so he doesnt really grow much 
and like tommy, a literal god, just claiming phil as his father???
phil, in his house making eggs, assuming one of his sons woke up and came to the kitchen, not looking: hey son  tommy, from their couch, already deciding hes phils son now: whats up dad? phil: looks up at tommy who are you tommy: idk dad, who am i  phil: *stares at tommy for a second* eh i made extra eggs you can stay 
ASJIDGASUIOG IMAGINE TOMMY TELLING THEM HES A GOD BUT THEY THINK HES JOKING AND IGNORE HIM
everyone on the server: tommy is the youngest! tommy, as old as the universe: no im not!!!! im not a child!!!! he doesnt pout because pouting is for children and hes not a child but hes pouting tubbo: lol im older than you by a month tommy dont try to hide it tommy: im not a child!!!! techno: laughs
tommy doesn't try to hide that hes a god just its tommy
thats all the evedince anyone needs to think tommy isnt a god or powerful its like mcc hes good but only when he doesnt throw for content
quackity: sees drista written in bedrock lmao drista visited? tommy: yeah! i wrote that for her!  quackity: snorts yeahhhh sureee tommy
imagine like how fucking funny it is jsut like 
a fucking chaotic god breaks into your house androbs you makes a room under your house and decides to live in your floorboards
imagine dream like trying to manipulate tommy, and tommy a fucking anchient diety immeditly recongnizes what hes doing
but decides to play along for the angst and giggles and then actually gets mad when no one fucking cares for his theatrics
tommy, storming off to technos base to rob and build under: >:///// cant believe none of them acknoledged my  deppression 
i love that tommy stills robs everyone, he doesnt need to he can spawn in anything he wants
he just does it for the sport of robbery
JAKOGFSDOH
THE HOLY LAND
dream: im god actually tommy: thats so fucking funny lets make a cult about that :)  dream: see! look! im god! and jesus!  tommy: wheezing
imagine tommy getting stressed and letting go of his mortal form
Tommy, his human form peeling away, showing his actual form a bit: WH̸͘A͠T̷ ̶̢T͞H͢E ̡͘F̴̵͘Ù̧C͜K҉ ̶T͘͜͞E͟CHǸ͏Ǫ  Techno: HAH?
tommy just saw tubbo and got emotionally attached
Tommy, a literal god: hello Tubbo: oh hi do you like my pet bee? Tommy: you’re mine now Tubbo: im okay with this
tommy, a bored god: gives techno shapeshifting powers  techno, not even caring: changes into more human to pig-ishg forms as he wishes this is my life now ig 
phil lets tommy do fuck all in exile bc he knows hes a god hes fine
phil: IDC IF YOURE A GOD! YOU WILL DO THE DISHES NOW YOUNG MAN! tommy: grumbles but does them
phil is the only one who can control tommy
god... tommy... with star freckles... on his human form... (as well as his god one)
tommy: f̷͛͠a̵̋t̵̒̑h̸̚e̶̓͝r̸͊ ̸̐̒i̴ ̸̅̿d̷̉͆o̵͂͋ ̵̛̆ñ̸̾ő̶́t̸̎́ w̶͆͘i̴͠s̵̓̈́h̸͗́ ̵̯͗f̶͋́ő̴͑r̷̐̌ ̶͝é̵̽g̸͊͂g̵̒s̷͂̃  phil: idc, eat your goddamn eggs tommy: pouts
tommy, despite being able to get supplies himself by fucking spawning them in: hey tubbo? we need supplies 
In this au ig like if a god claims you you get a mark on your skin showing that. Drista’s would be like a green crown, Tommys would be a red and white disk (white as the outer ring and red as the center) (its different enough that if you don’t realise tommy is a god you wouldnt realise whos it is) (schlatt is the only one who never had one which shoulda been a sign dude :/)
Dream has two from the beginning, everyone else has only one, well until they meet drista. (sbi have had one since they met tommy, though they dont remember the first time they met tommy)
wait what if tommy like found them all as children one by one and later kinda pulled some strings to get them all in one kingdom. (he still joined sbi through forcing phil to adopt him) 
OKAY BUT IMAGINE IF TOMMY MET TECHNO WHEN TECHNO WAS YOUNG ENOUGH TO NOT REMEMBER
tommy would hang out with baby techno and tell him stories
once he told him the story of a man named thesus
another time he told him the story of a blood god
like for example tommys first time meeting techno would be like
(for context techno lived in a shitty village and was an orphan and it was kinda a dog eat dog place, he learned how to be strong because of it)(he was young enough that he doesn’t remember this well, just like learning about the blood god and someone giving him gold)
baby techno: sighs tommy, appearing out of nowhere: oh heyyy whyre you sad? techno: jumps turning around with a knife up ready for a fight who are you tommy: im tommy! :) techno: what do you want from me! you dont scare me! tommy: whats your name! techno: i have a knife! i'll use it! tommy: of course, thats a given, but its rude not to tell people your name techno, confused: t-technoblade? tommy: smiles thats a nice name techno: so. tommy: hm? techno: why're you here tommy: i don't have a reason. im just a traveller! techno: then why hole to this terrible village! theres nothing nice here! everyone is terrible and so are you! tommy: hmmmm i dont agree techno: what are you? a child? i thought adults were supposed to know that everyone is mean tommy: mmhmm looks at the bruise on technos face where'd you get that? techno: fight. i won. i'll win against you too! so don't try anything. tommy: of course. i would never win in a fight against a blood god techno, putting down his knife a bit, stars in his eyes: blood god? tommy: grins blood. god. i think she'd like you. techno, muttering: maybe i can give the blood god some of your blood tommy: laughs yeah, she'd defenitly find you intresting tommy: here tosses techno a golden crown at techno, he spawned it in in the moment techno: whats this? tommy: a crown, thought it suit you screams in the distance tommy: huh. i need to go. have fun lil piglin. ruffles technos hair before running off towards the screaming unbeknownst to the pig the blood god was actually the one waiting for the god he met. techno: stares at the crown 
Techno found a pouch of gold in his ‘house’ later that day. he didnt know who left it but it helped him get food for that night. (he kept the crown)
okay but imagine tommy not taking the war seriously at all, and only seeing it as a squabble between mortals, Like toddlers fighting
dream: SURENDER BY TOMMOROW OR WE'LL DECLARE WAR! wilbur: FUCK YOU WE'LL NEVER SURENDER AND JOIN YOUR SMP! Tommy: how cute
tommy doesnt realise that theyre serious until wilbur dies
tommy would usually go apeshit against anyone who dares messes with his humans, but what is he supposed to do when his humans are fighting Eachother?
wilbur: fucking goes insane and dies  tommy: hey- hey can you guys let me talk to wil for a sec? everyone else leaves tommy, unsually somber: sorry i didnt help you i forgot how easily breakable mortals are tommy: this time you wont die, and i'll make it so that you dont break again, okay? tommy: brings wilburs soul out of its body and enters his mindscape ghostbur: wakes up what- where am i? tommy: hi there ghostbur: who are you tommy: i go by a lot of names all, one, you, the world, the universe, god, but you can just call me tommy ghostbur: oh okay. who am i? tommy: you're name was wilbur soot. you were the son of philza minecraft and brother to Technoblade, Tubbo and myself. ghostbur: was? tommy: well you see, you died. ghostbur: oh... well what am i then? tommy: a ghost! well actually its your choice. would you like to continue your existance or fade away with your body? ghostbur: i dont want to fade away! tommy: smiles thats what i thought you'd say stretches his hand to wilbur ghostbur: grabs tommy hand tommy: lets go home
ghostbur doesnt remember that though
he only remembers the good
tommy wont let him remember the bad, what if he breaks again? mortals are so fragile
phil realises what tommy did as soon as he sees ghostbur 
drista, painting tommys nails (there both in god form btw) (after wilburs death btw): tommy shouldn't you of all gods realise how fragile they are?  tommy: i know just... forgot  drista: sighs and nods i get what you mean, especially with the ones we found... they act a lot like gods sometimes i forgot they arent  tommy: ikr? wait- drista here gets drista's hair out of her face you were gonna get it on my nails, anyways, don't judge me. we all know if dream died you would turn him into a ghost too drista: smirks not if you do it first, we all know you would tommy: you say that as if you wouldn't fight me to do it first  drista: .... tommy: ... drista: both of us when he dies? tommy: nods tommy: anyways my turn to do your nails 
or like tommy with ghostbur like
ghostbur: i don't like this :( tommy, a worried brother and god: whats wrong? ghostbur: everyone is mad at me and i d-dont know why- why are they mad at me tommy: theyre mad at something alivebur did ghostbur: b-but im not alivebur sniffs it hurts. i dont like it. tommy: spawns in some blue here ghostbur: whats that? tommy: its some blue! it'll help you not hurt anymore! ghostbur: how does it work? tommy: see how its blue? ghostbur: nods tommy: well its blue because it sucks up all the bad feelings! it'll help ghostbur: !!!!! ghostbur: presses the blue into his chest ghostbur: !!!!its working!!!! :D tommy: smiles good
wilbur fucking died and tommy went from annoying little brother to caring older brother
tommy just wants to help his brother :) though he doesnt realise that not letting ghostbur remember bad memories isnt good
*at logsted shire btw* ghostbur: who are you? tommy, chuckling: did you forget me already ghostbur? ghostbur: i didnt forget you! i think! you're tommy! i just... you're different tommy, looks over at ghostbur: different how? ghostbur: you're not normal are you? tommy: grins whaaaaat? you think im weirdddd? how heartbreaking... my own brother thinks im weird, this is terrible ghostbur: giggles tommy: but really, don't worry about it bur. ghostbur: you sure? tommy: yeah, dont worry about me ghostbur: smiles okay! do you want some blue anyways? tommy: giggles sure! ghostbur: grins
ghostbur isnt worried about tommy
he knows hes strong
phil having to tell tommy that he cant just not let wilbur remember the bad memories
and tommys like "what if he breaks again!" and phil hugs him and tells him to at least ask ghostbur if he wants to remember and tommys like ‘fine’
tommy: hey bur? ghostbur: yeah? tommy: do you like you're memories? ghostbur: i mean, yeah its hard not to when you only remember the good tommy, quietly: would you want to remember the bad? ghostbur: w-what brought this question on tommy: answer the question ghostbur: no- alivebur was badi shouldn't want to- tommy: but what do you want bur? wilbur, silent for a moment: yeah- yeah i do. not that i like the bad memories! they hurt... but i wish i could remember tommy: ... ghostbur: hey tommy? tommy: yeah? ghostbur, with tears in his eyes: do you think they'd be less mad at me if i could remember, maybe then i could repair my relationships, what the hell am i supposed to do when i dont even remember hurting them? tommy: what if they dont? what if you break again? ghostbur, saltily: we'll maybe i'll be able at least be able to say i know why everyone hates me tommy: i know how to get all of your memories back ghostbur, looks towards tommy in shock: you do??? tommy: nods ghostbur, voice wavering: for how long tommy: since the beginning ghostbur: and you didnt tell me tommy: i did what i thought was best. i just didnt want you to hurt anymore. ghostbur, angrily: WELL THAT CLEARLY WORKED DIDNT IT? tommy: sorry wilbur, sometimes i forget how to handle humans ghostbur: what- tommy: sighs and taps ghostbur on the forehead and ghostbur does the ghost equivilent of passing out tommy: wont hide any memories this time
ghostbur doesnt wake up, instead wilbur wakes up weither thats good or bad we'll see
wilbur, waking up with all his memories: HOLY SHIT TOMMY WASN'T KIDDING phil, who was reading beside the bed tommy placed wilbur into, which was in technos house. yes he broke into technos house with a passed out wilbur. move on.: hm? wilbur: holy shit phil: huh? yeah. wilbur: wait you knew? phil: yeah i recongnized him as soon as i saw him about 5 years ago now? wilbur: excuse me while i freak out because my little brother is an actual god
it really hits wilbur that tommy is a god later
wilbur: hey tommy? tommy: yeah? wilbur: how fucking old are you? tommy: snorts of course thats the first thing you ask wilbur: well? tommy: i dont really know the exact years since years are kind of a human thing that were invented recently wilbur: they were invented thousands of years ago- tommy: but it was around the beginning of this galaxy wilbur, softly: what the fuck
tommy telling wilbur stories about different heros and villains and different humans he met during his life.
Adsjbffsg what if Tommy made himself blonde and blue eyed and white bc thats hyow the first human he met looked like asjfhsd
and just didnt change that, despite meeting new humans, its just his defult settings.
he would totally do this tho im crying.
drista just based her human form off dream because she is his sister now. he must deal with this. trying disowning me when i look like you BITCH.
thats my take anyways later might continue this
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thunderheadfred · 3 years
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🦈Kirishima HC’s🦈
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Absolutely no one asked for this i just like him a lot
He’s an adult in all of these. 20s-30s at least. Some NSFW because I’m a big perv. Minors do not interact. Shoo.
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General:
He is in the dictionary under Himbo, right next to Kronk.
Works part-time as a fitness instructor before making a name for himself as a pro hero. Most of his clients are middle-aged women, because he makes people feel safe. Before long, word gets around and he amasses this like. Loyal army of jacked housewives and older ladies who are his biggest possible fans. They mother-hen him like crazy.
Has a large and complicated extended family. Lots of cousins. You will never learn all their names, don’t even try. I have no idea if his parents have canon occupations but no matter what Horikoshi says, they actually own a mountain onsen. Kirishima went to the city by himself to go to middle/high school, his family is all off in the country somewhere and he gets homesick a lot but never admits it. He’s broke for a long time even after making it as a pro hero, because he sends most of his money back home.
He’s a dog dad. You cannot, WILL not convince me otherwise. Big dogs. Small dogs. Fancy dogs. Ugly dogs. He has a whole pack. He calls them all baby, sweetie, pupper, the worst and most embarrassing baby talk. Tells them about his day. All of his furniture is wrecked. He’s an active member in online dog groups, where he is careful to use a pseudonym and never show his face, but eventually people are going to figure out that Red Riot’s dogs look an awful lot like this one user’s....
He’s in a casual taiko group, always on the o-daiko. Loves participating in festivals and parades. He has never, ever, not once, worn a shirt while drumming. Probably has been gifted at least one antique taiko drum for his hero work, and he keeps it in his house but is too afraid to play it because it’s scary valuable “uhh it’s definitely haunted”
Regularly goes out drinking. Socially and responsibly, like clockwork, always with the same people. He’s a goddamned lightweight, and no one understands why. Will mope if he has to miss a night out at the izakaya.
So he’s clean, but sloppy. House looks like a tornado ripped through it, and nothing he owns matches. Not a single thing. I mentioned the dogs.
Will absolutely use “manly” as a replacement for “awesome,” and will constantly tell you how manly you are. Your actual gender is a non-issue. If you hang out with him for more than five minutes you’re manly as hell now.
He cries a lot? Sometimes it’s for show but he gets genuinely misty-eyed over the dumbest things. Do NOT show him pictures of puppies.
He’s good at braiding hair. His or yours. When his hair isn’t hardened, he likes doing all kinds of wacky stuff with it. He usually keeps it long enough for braids, ponies, buns, quirk-assisted faux-hawks, whatever. Mina has given him many bad ideas. He will definitely steal your hair bands and accessories, if you use them.
His fridge is just like, meat and beer. He will, if forced, consume perhaps one single vegetable. Unfortunately, his B.O. reflects this. God bless him - he showers and bathes daily, because he works out a lot and is just generally hygienic. But don’t ever touch his socks barehanded.
He wears the cheapest, most predictable cologne you can imagine, the kind that comes in an aerosol can and punches a hole in the ozone every time he sprays his pits. It smells stupidly good on him. How. so fucking manly. you kind of hate him for getting away with it.
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And now, the 🌶 Spicy Ones 🌶
Does not date or hook up much; wants a serious relationship.
Has a tough time getting dates, weirdly. He’s still secretly insecure, but mostly he’s got rocks for brains and never knows how to flirt. He ends up friendzoning most of the people interested in him, because he is, in fact, a little too chivalrous for his own good and can never make the first move. He’s an emotional open book, but clueless romantically. I recommend being extremely straightforward. Draw him a map if you have to.
Is afraid to kiss you too deeply because of the teeth. Will take a lot of gentle encouragement to get him comfortable, but once he knows you’re safe, he’s going to be kissing you all the time. Like, too much. People are gawking, Kiri, for God’s sake.
He radiates massive doses of husband/dad energy. Will immediately marry the hell out of you. If you are capable of and willing to have his children, you are going to get extremely pregnant. Very quickly. Not necessarily a breeding kink (though why not), he just really wants to start a family with you.
He’s Big. Just huge. Tall and broad, and also... his dick is a summit and you will need to prepare for the climb. He’s had problems in the past because no, not everybody wants ALL THAT inside them. That said, if you can handle it? Woof.
Hard as a rock is No Joke with this man. Can and WILL use his quirk on his dick. If you don’t think that’s the first thing he mastered as a teenager I dont know what to tell you. Ever used a glass dildo? Well buckle up cuz it’s like if a massive glass dildo whispered sweet nothings in your ear and held you close in big strong arms and fucked you till you cried. It’s a sometimes thing. Otherwise you’d simply pass away.
He loves your brains. Your smarts and wit are a huge turn on, and he gets a boner when you use a word he doesn’t know. He also loves fucking your brains completely out, so that you cant use any words at all.
He’s a devout church-going body-worshipper. He’s so jacked that’s it’s constantly intimidating, like, how dare you stand next to this chiseled statue of a man?! but whether you love power-lifting with him or would rather die than exercise, he’s gonna treat you like the prettiest fucking piece of cake on planet earth.
Size kink ahoy; he gets his big grabby mitts on you... and you psychologically lose three feet. Doesn’t matter how tall or small or fat or thin you are, you are getting groped, squeezed, and manhandled. You didn’t even know it was possible to get thrown around like that; always onto something soft.
Not dominant. Not unless you ask very, very nicely. had a brief pushy phase at the peak of his teenage manliness obsession, unconsciously trying to be more like Bakugou, but he quickly realized controlling people wasn’t really him. It certainly isn’t very manly. Doesn’t want any toxic masculinity in his love life, even as roleplay.
That said, he can and will be a soft dom, if that’s what you want. After some practice, he’d get pretty good at it too. But his natural sexual groove is goofy, a bit awkward. Usually finds a non-sexual excuse to touch you at first; prepare to get tickled a lot. If you sit in his lap it’s all over.
If you get dominant with him, even a little, he’s gonna turn to putty in your hands. Go ahead and boss that big dumb puppy around. Nothing turns him on like seeing you get exactly what you want.
You’ll have morning wood pressed up against your ass. Every damn day. He might hump and grope you in his sleep, moaning a little. Usually it just wears off. If you wake him up to fuck, he’ll have no idea what’s going on but will be like “hell yeah i guess this is happening”
Gives oral like a starving man. Has absolutely zero reservations, because he knows his tongue and hands can’t hurt you. Will be as loud and messy as possible. If you get embarrassed or shy about it, he’s going to mumble sweet talk directly into your junk until your teeth fall out.
He’s vocal in bed. Growly. A moaning groaning disaster. He says the sweetest, gentlest things... has the cleanest dirty talk you’ve ever heard, but tenderness filtered through his bourbon-barrel chest comes out all dark and rumbly, especially when he’s close. you feel his “I love you” in your bones
He thinks making his partner cum is the manliest thing he can do. Any orgasm is good, but if you cum untouched on his dick, he’ll be riding that high for days
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yarrowleef · 3 years
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so i don't have a problem with ashfur becoming a major villain, i did want him to be addressed beyond his final "he's fine now he just loved too much uwu" bs, and while everything surrounding the explanation was unbelievably ridiculous, it's warrior cats and i don't care anymore
but i do think something i, and maybe others too, am kind of mourning is the loss of a potentially real good lawful evil villain. You know, what Ashfur was pretending to be, someone who was such an extreme zealot boasting "god is punishing us for your sin so clearly we must double down" type rhetoric, using starclan as a shield so they’re harder to argue with. Someone who is undeniably out of touch and evil but is so filled with self-righteous conviction that they are doing the right thing for their ancestors sake and it’s their destiny to make sure everyone sees that, etc etc
 I saw a lot of fanart skewed in this direction when only the first two books were out and we were still guessing the imposters identity, clearly people were hyped for the idea. I was really excited for a villain like that too, i think they're fun and also potentially v scary, not to mention a sorely needed wake up call for the clans! 
but Ashfur wasn't actually that at all. He didn’t believe a word of it, he was just lying and his ultimate goal was to cause chaos, same as Darktail before him
and like...the series "the broken code" which presented itself as being about highlighting how the idea of rules has become more important then why they have them in the first place, and how their society’s law and over-dependence on starclan is flawed....that is the perfect stage for the kind of villain who whole-heartedly believes their awful actions are righteous--the moral being “this is the sort of attitude our society risks breeding when we are uncritical and unthinking code-obsessed weirdos”
but they used up this stage on another disingenuous chaotic villain, and...there's never really going to be another setting quite as perfect for the lawful evil freak that forces the protags to deconstruct the issues with the clans code obsession, they can't just do that same plot again later (i mean. i suppose they could but it won’t have the same punch the second time i dont think) Ashfur didn't really do it, bc in the end everyone's main argument at him is that he didn’t care about or follow the great and glorious warrior code, and that's why he's evil cause no one who really cared for the code could be evil uwu
like i said, i don't mind ashfur as a main villain, but given his goal (”i want to destroy the clans, make them all pay”--yeah you and half the dark forest bud) was pretty self centered and simple, i feel like he could have been used as the villain in any plot, and didn't necessarily need to be given this one when he didn't care much one way or another about the code when he was alive.
idk, tl;dr just can't help wishing the code-breaker tyrant was a cat who had some real conviction behind their words, ‘cause now i think it’s unlikely we'll get a chance at that sort of main villain again
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