#i dont know what to say other than i got really sick like a week and a half before the deadline

[talkorsomething]

I have Got to get more transgender

[wonbin-truther]

˚⊹ ᰔೀ dream boyfriend: incoming ˚⊹ ᰔೀ ╰┈➤ family dinner

"ready?" jaemin patted your thigh in an attempt to comfort you as you bounced it up and down. you shook your head, tears brimming your eyes from the nerves of it all. both of you were parked a bit away from your cousins house. jaemin frowned as he turned the car off and turned to you.

"you know we dont have to be here. we can say youre sick or had a last minute project due and go back to the dorms," he suggested.

you shook your head again, wiping your eyes, "we have to do this. i cant let them bother me."

"if anything gets too much just squeeze my hand and we can leave right away. okay?" jaemin's hand moved from your thigh up to cup your cheek.

"i appreciate you so much," a small smile came to your face as you moved closer to the warmth of his hand. he smiled back and leaned over to leave a kiss on your forehead.

you let out a deep sigh as you rung the bell. "your dad here?" jaemin asked.

"i think he's coming later. he had work," you responded, listening to the loudening clacking of heels from behind the door that stood in front of you.

"who is it?" the voice of your aunt sung out.

"yn, auntie," your voice was quieter than jaemin ever head it and he gave a small squeeze to your hand. your aunt let out a small 'uck' as she threw the door open with a scowl on her face.

the look was quickly wiped off her face when she locked eyes with jaemin, "and whos this?"

jaemin put on a polite smile and held his hand out for your aunt to shake, "na jaemin ma'am. its nice to meet you."

your aunt pulled him in for an awkward hug, "ma'am? do i seem that old?" jaemin laughed nervously, "not at all."

your aunt moved back and took jaemins hands into hers, "what a handsome young man. i cant wait to introduce you to my middle daughter."

"oh no need," jaemin pulled you closer to him. your aunt gave you a disgusted look, "nonsense. trust me when you meet my daughter you'll forget all about her just like the last one."

"not to be rude but i'm very aware of who your daughters are and im very happy with yn," jaemin pulled you closer to him. your gaze stayed glued to the floor as your aunt scoffed and let you both inside.

"the girls are in the backyard. any news from your father?" your aunt asked you.

"he said he'll be here after dinner. something about a leak on his fishing boat," you replied. your aunt nodded and you proceeded to the backyard, pulling jaemin along with you.

the sound of mark's voice echoed as you both got closer and closer. you paused behind the sliding glass door.

jaemin looked towards you, "we can stay in the kitchen, just us, until your dad gets here."

"no. i'm fine," you took a deep breath as you pulled the doors and walked into the backyard.

you put on a polite smile as you approached the small table your three cousins, mark, and your oldest cousins husband were sitting at. you noticed the look of surprise on mark's face as jaemin followed closely behind you.

"whos this?" hyuna asked, attention focused on jaemin.

"everyone this is jaemin. jaemin this is hyuna, her husband, garam, and you already know somi and mark."

jaemin exchanged greetings and small talk as he sat in the chair next to you.

"so the rumors were true," somi said with a smirk, and you shrugged. "not too sure which rumors your talking about."

she rolled her eyes. "you being a homie hopper."

"im still not too sure what you're talking about," you replied, your tone firmer and jaemin broke himself away from the conversation with your cousins husband to pay attention.

"well first you were with mark and now jaemin. i bet by next week you'll figure out another friend to get with," somi laughed, causing her two sisters to snicker next to her. you reached under the table for jaemin's hand and he was quick to take it into his.

mark stayed silent as your cousin kept tearing into you, throwing around words like 'whore' and 'slut' while your other two cousins jumped into the conversation. "are you really gonna stay silent?" jaemin asked, turning everyones attention to him and mark. mark looked like a deer caught in headlights as jaemin continued. "you supposedly care, or cared, about yn so much but you're letting them talk to her like this because you jumped from her to her cousin?"

"jaemin, please," you pleaded, but he just shook his head. "He's always acting like hes innocent in all this, and im tired of it. we got together not know who each other were. he's with somi knowing damn well the type of person she is."

"and what type of person am i?" somi shot back, annoyed.

"a bitch," he flat out said.

"hey dont talk to her like that," mark interjected, standing up . jaemin smiled and stood up too, letting go of your hand, "you know better than anyone how awful somi is. i know yn told you about her childhood because you told all of us she did."

"theres two sides of the story," mark said through gritted teeth. "but you saw what just happened with somi and her sisters ganging up on yn. do you really think theres two sides? and how can there be two sides to a girl being blamed for her mom's death? i know youre smarter than this mark"

"nothing to say?" jaemin crossed his arms over his chest, walking around to where mark was stood. "it's hard to hear the truth huh? you've stooped down to somi's level and you know it."

mark wasted no time throwing a punch at jaemin. the area fell into stunned silence as jaemin touched his cheek, momentarily stunned. then, with an angry look, jaemin retaliated with a punch of his own, and the tension in the air seemed to crackle as everyone watched the confrontation unfold.

both of you sat in silence on your bed as you held an ice pack to jaemin's cheek.

"i'm sorry," jaemin reached out to touch your hand. you stayed silent, avoiding eye contact.

"he deserved it though. im tired of him acting like none of this was his fault," jaemin continued

"i love you," you blurted out.

jaemin paused mid-sentence, his eyes softening as he smiled. he gently raised your chin so your eyes met his. without hesitation, you leaned in and pressed your lips against his.

previous - main - next

synopsis! it wasnt your fault mark was the first profile to appear on your instagram! and it was most definitely not your fault when you told your annoying older cousins that mark lee, the captain of your unis soccer team, was your boyfriend and somehow got him invited to the next family reunion...

tags! (closed) @haedgaf @onlyhyunjin @mmjhh1998 @nctrawberries @multifandomania @hyuoonp @kittydollzz @bathilda @413ktz @alethea-moon @meowmarkie @urlocalbeaner5 @nanaxwi @lvrholic @sunghoonsgfreal @jakeshuneybby @nosungluv @evilsailorsenshi @calumsfringe @haesungie @tommina @vantxx95 @markeroolee @soobsung @tynlvr @morkiee @sehunniepot @starfilledgaze @pickmedolls @xcosmi @nneteyamss @slayhaechan @neozon3nha @nneteyamss @lionzyon @jakeslucifer

[iznyangwoni]

EASY TO LOVE | chapter fifteen !

warnings! smut (MDNI!), suggestive, mention of drinking, mention of getting high

You all spent the next day at home, swimming in the pool, playing dumb games, getting high.. and with that comes chemical hunger, which is why you, Jay and Wonyoung are making a birthday cake while everyone else is playing outside.

“You and Jungwon look way closer than i thought.” Wonyoung says, her shirt full of flour, you’re sitting right next to her, eating the remaining chocolate cream from the spoon now that Jay is done with it. “Don’t lie now, i treat him just how i treat all of you.” “You never cuddled me to sleep after getting drunk tho.” Jay adds, and you glance at him.

Last night Jungwon got a bit more drunk than anyone else, and you did help him not only throw up, but also get clean and you got him to sleep next to you. You roll your eyes, you really cant tell why you act like this with Jungwon, sure he acts cute while at the same time he’s hot as hell and you’re sure he has many great qualities, but the cons are a bit higher when it comes to him. “He was sick, i was helping a sick person.”

Wonyoung laughs as she smears some of the cream on your cheek and nose, then licking it off her finger. “I think you like him.” That makes you laugh. You? Liking someone? Thats new. As popular as you are, you’re never really had a serious relationship, only played with a bunch of guys, and dated one or two, but that lasted only a couple of weeks before you got bored. “That’s so stupid… why would i like-“

Before you can even finish your sentence Moka comes in running, her hands on the chair as she takes a breath, damn, the girl is fragile. “Sunghoon and Jungwon are fighting again.” You sigh loudly, looking back at Wonyoung while getting up from your chair. “See what i mean?”

You go down the stairs, the spoon still in your hands, they’ve been fighting since you got here, so you’re not too worried. Or at least that is until you hear them yell at each other, Nicholas in the background trying to calm them down. “The fuck do you mean that bitch ass friend of yours blackmailed you and you did nothing? Have you fucking lost your mind?” You hear Sunghoon say that, so you walk faster, how does he know about minji?

Jungwon looks pretty calm from the outside, but his brows are furrowed just like last time, when he was mad at you. “Do you even fucking know what Y/n went through?” “Sunghoon-“ You try to intervener but both guys look at you as if you just insulted them. Its unusual, but for once you feel intimidated. Nicholas gets next to you, his hand on your back.

“Did you know? Y/n? That Minji was all up his ass too?” You gulp, of course you know, Jungwon told you. He told you everything without asking questions, so you nod, but that only seems to anger Sunghoon even more. He turns to Jungwon once again, this time stepping closer to him. “You should’ve protected her.” “I see her more than just a damsel in distress.”

“You don’t know shit.” Sunghoon steps even closer, the height difference between the two is really noticeable now. “I don’t know shit because no one tells me shit! I have no damn clue about what happened last year or why Minji is so obsessed with her! You can’t blame me and then not tell me a thing!” The two start pushing each other like little kids, its honestly pissing you off, did they really have to do that on your birthday?

“That’s the thing, you will never know, you shouldn’t be here in the first place.” Now that’s pissing you off even more, “Sunghoon!” You call him, walking towards them, but they don’t hear you, instead they just get more violent. “Can’t you just ignore each other for once?” You manage to get hold of Sunghoon’s wrist, stopping him from punching Jungwon. “Do you really have to make a scene on my birthday?”

“I’m doing this for you.” Sunghoon gets off of your grip, stepping away from both you and Jungwon. “But i dont want you to.” Jungwon tries to take your hand, probably wanting to calm you down or something, but you just shrug him off, and you hear him sigh behind you. There are a few seconds of silence where you just look at each other, you can tell that Sunghoon is mad, and you can’t really blame him.

Its barely been a year and you’re already acting like nothing happened, you know you’ve been acting immature all this time, with Jungwon, with your friends, at school. And no one better than you knows its gonna cause some repercussions, but right now you don’t want to think about it. It’s your birthday, you’re here with the people you care about, you want to have fun for these two more days.

Sunghoon sighs before walking away, not saying a thing, you don’t try to follow him, you know he’ll calm down on his own. You close your eyes before turning around to look at Jungwon, you try to say something but he shakes his head. His jaw is clenched and his brows are still furrowed.

You hate how damn hot he looks when mad, he’s able to attract you yet make you feel intimidated. “Jungwon can we talk-“ “I need a couple of minutes.” The coldness in his voice makes you shiver. You look at Nicholas, who immediately gets the memo and starts walking away from you two.

“Are you mad at me?” You dont remember the last time you asked something like that. But it surely brings you back, you feel so little in front of him, he’s barely looking at you in the eyes, his whole demeanor so cold, it makes you shiver. “Y/n, I said I need a few minutes.”

You bite your bottom lip, feeling so nervous about this whole interaction. You just nod and start walking back into the house, hands in your hair as you try to think about what you did to fuck this all up. Is he mad because of Sunghoon’s words? Its true Jungwon doesn’t know a thing, and that he probably won’t ever know the truth, but why does he care so much? why do YOU care so much?

A couple of hours pass, until its two in the morning. You can’t sleep, not after you got used to Jungwon sleeping next to you yesterday. You sigh, thinking that maybe the only thing that could ease your mind at the moment could be a late night swim in the indoor pool. So that’s what you decide to do, with a towel in your hands, wearing your bikini under a big white shirt, you go downstairs.

You close the door of the indoor pool and stand there for a few minutes when you realize Jungwon is already here. He’s standing on the border of the pool, he’s drying his hair with the towel, no shirt on, fuck. You can’t really be thinking about this now. He notices you staring and, before he can say something, you stop him.

“I didn’t know you were here.” The pool isn’t exactly small, so there’s really a few meters apart between the two of you, you would get closer but you’re still scared about him being mad at you. He lets out a quiet chuckle before smiling at you. “Why so far, pretty? I swear i’m not gonna eat you.” You pout.

You dont really want to listen to him right now. The audacity to act so cocky after scaring you so much is honestly pissing you off. So you put the towel on one of the chairs, same with the white shirt you had on, and then you just dive into the water. When you resurface he’s looking at you, his eyes the same ones as that time in his changing room.

“Is this close enough for you?” “Not at all.” He’s quick to say it, but he’s even quicker to get into the water with you. His hands immediately on your waist. “This is.” You look at him in the eyes, you know that look, you know what he wants. But you need to talk to him now, you put your hand on his arm, caressing his bicep with your thumb. “Are you still mad at me?”

He smirks, before leaning in and biting your lobe. “I am. Not as much though.” Your free hand goes to his jaw, making him look at you in the eyes, and making so that he doesn’t bite you again. “Can we talk?” He shakes his head, and that makes you even more disappointed. “Don’t feel like it.” “You never feel like it.”

Jungwon’s eyes turn cold the second you snap that. But you’re way too disappointed to think about it. You get off of his grip and start getting away from him, he stands still for a few seconds before catching up to you. “Y/n…” Its making you mad and, surprisingly, its making you even sadder.

He grabs you by your hips and you hit his chest lightly to let you go. Even if in reality you really dont mind the closeness between you two. Still, you are pretty angry at him. You don’t like how he’s been acting, first he’s all cuddly and lovely, then he gets mad at you for no reasons, and then again he looks at you as if he’s dying to fuck you. Right now he’s a mix between the last two.

“Why do you even want to talk in the first place? I know you wont tell me a thing anyway. Its useless talk we could spend on kissing instead.” You sigh, its true you wouldn’t tell him the whole story, but you could give him some hints, and as plump and soft his lips look right now, you dont want him to win. “Dont feel like it.”

“You’re cute when you’re sulking.” You dont say a thing, but your heart gets a weird reaction when he says that. You’re still pouting when you rest your head on his shoulder, your hand on his arm. “I don’t like fighting with you.” “I know.” “But you always do this weird thing where you dont want to talk and it makes me feel like.. like its not important to hear what i have to say..”

You say the last sentence way quieter than it needs to be, but he still hears it, and his eyes widen for a second before he looks at you again, his hands holding you closer. “Don’t say that.” “I know we both dont like talking about feelings and shit like that, but i can never figure out whats in your head and its driving me crazy.”

You try to say something else, but he moves your head with his fingers, and only know you’re realizing that he’s sitting on the steps of the pool. “Y/n” “No Jungwon let me finish-“ “Y/n.” “What i mean is“ Jungwon rolls his eyes before grabbing your head with both of his hands and kiss you.

“This. Is all i can think about when i see you. I am mad at you yes, but i can get over it.” You’re still sulking, your thumbs trace his furrowed eyebrows, your voice quieter once again. “I dont want you to be mad in the first place.” “Sit on my lap and i’ll forget it.” You gulp before doing wait he says, the second you sit on his lap he pulls you closer to him, his lips attacking yours before you can even realize it.

You kiss him back with as much hunger, you can feel him smirk through the kiss, if it can even be called something as simple as that. Your nails are digging into his shoulders as he slowly makes your hips move on him. He usually talks so much when you’re in these situations, and the fact that he’s being so quiet is enough to make you realize how mad he actually is.

His hands wonder all over your body, eventually playing with the strings of your swimsuit, pulling them, wrapping them around his fingers, until he pulls the strings of your bottom so hard to open it. You whimper, but he only does the same with the other side. You pull out of the kiss, and he just starts biting and kissing your neck and chest, the bottom part of your bikini now long gone.

His fingers go between your legs, playing with your folds, slapping your cunt a couple of times. Your mouth opens to moan, but you try your best to be quiet, not wanting to wake anyone. His hands go back to your hips, grinding you against him even more now, faster than before. “Jungwon.. fuck,” You cant even think straight right now, the feeling of the cold water, his swimming shorts, and his fingers around you are just making you go insane.

You can feel how hard he is, you want to touch him too, you want to feel him so deep into you that not having him right now is making you want to cry. You let out a louder moan when he grinds you against him with more force, and he lets out a laugh. Your hand travels around his body, you want to feel all of him so much more, his toned chest and abs, his biceps, his whole body is so fucking perfect to you. But your hand goes lower, and lower until you meet his shorts, you want to take them off right now.

“Not now pretty.” You whine in disappointment, biting his shoulder, which only makes him slap your cunt once more. “Get up. Wanna eat you.” You legs are shaking like crazy, but you still manage to get up, his hands keeping your thighs steady and open. He looks at your directly in the eyes at each move he makes, biting your thighs, kissing your stomach down to licking your slit.

Your hand instinctively goes to his hair meanwhile the other one goes to your mouth. You can barely breathe as he continues, you’ve never seen heaven so up close. You love how he keeps making sounds even when down there, it takes all of you to not scream when he puts a finger in. “Won.. Wonie.. too much..” He smiles, and his kisses go up again, eyes still on you.

Jungwon pushes you down, you’re still trying to catch your breath meanwhile he is taking off his own shorts. You gulp looking down, definitely not expecting him to be so.. so… fuck. “Jungwon..” You call him, and he chuckles again, kissing your lips. “Are you going to just stare or?” “Maybe help me?” He kisses you again, and opens your legs enough to make you sink down onto him in a much easier way.

Your eyes close out of pleasure, you would’ve never thought that being so close to him would make you feel so damn good. He’s kissing you all over while you adjust to his size, and when you nod, he knows its the perfect time to move. Between his thrusts and the water splashing, its as if your moans are just a background sound.

You hands are shaking as they wonder on his chest and neck, you try to kiss him more, but its so hard between the movement that it makes you laugh. “You’re so pretty, so damn pretty. Want to have you like this all the time.” And there he goes again, talking you through it as usual. “Yeah? I wouldn’t mind that.”

You manage to breathe out, and you feel him twitch inside you at that sentence. He bites your lips before closing his eyes, his moans are so pretty to you, so soft and so damn soothing, you still dont know how he manages to be so perfect. “I’m close pretty. Get up.” You do as he says, helping him with the last few strokes as he finishes, immediately kissing you after.

“Still mad at me?” He shakes his head no, a dumb smirk on his face as he catches his breath. You tie up your swimsuit back again and he pick you up, peppering your face with kisses, you could really get used to it. You hate how he acts sometimes, how confusing he is and the fact that being even near him is troublesome. But the kisses… you could get used to those.

“Lets to go upstairs, i’m gonna make you finish a dozen of times before you can even think about sleeping.”

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[pedgito]

Hii omg i just discovered you account and I’m obsessed with you writing 🖤

I have a request if that’s okay

Something like reader has this big crush (kinda obsession lol) with Eddie she’s always looking at him, going to the Hideout every tuesday to watch him perform and buys him weed but she doesn’t actually smokes and eddie notices that and thinks is cute so, so when she meets him in the woods to buy weed eddies like “i know you aint smoking that, why dont you tell me what you really want from me? Why dont you just ask me yo fuck you” or something like that 😩

author’s note: full disclaimer, i'm so sleep deprived on nyquil from how sick i've been, so this will either be really good smut, or complete disjointed and all over the place, either way, i hope it's not too horrible lol

cw: 18+ (minors dni), pining!reader (but also eddie too), god complex!eddie (if you squint) fingering/sex in the back of his van, lots of teasing, protected sex!! (i know, such a shocker coming from me), i'm probably missing something so just lmk!

word count: 5k

You didn’t think it was the best idea, but it made the most sense. Buy the weed, talk to Eddie, offer it up to some stoner willing to pay the same price—it had been seamless, almost too easy, and Eddie never seemed to question it either, despite the fact that you were as clean-cut and proper as it got, you’ve never been around anyone while they were smoking weed, let alone do it yourself. The prospect was terrifying, fear that you might lose control over your body and thoughts, end up being one of the people that experienced terrible highs—so you steered clear of actually trying it for yourself. Besides, it was the only excuse it gave you to talk to Eddie.

It wasn’t that he fully ignored you—you still had classes together, passed each other in the hall on occasion, but you both ran in completely different groups, which didn't leave much room to get to know each other or even have a normal conversation. 

You wouldn’t call it obsession, either—because Eddie seemed as intrigued to talk to you as you were to him—you were an enigma he couldn’t figure out, so many mysteries wrapped up into one, he was dying to figure you out. And sometimes your friends like to sneak over to The Hideout, it’s not the first, second, or even third choice of hangout spots on your list—but Eddie performs weekly, every Tuesday night, it was a highlight of what was usually a very dreary, miserable day. You tried hard not to be noticed, always shoving yourself in the furthest corner of the bar, the lights dimmer near the back, which helped obscure your face—though Eddie, he spotted you the moment you walked in, every time, but you didn’t need to know that. 

It goes on for weeks, nearly three months into the beginning of your senior year—and Eddie’s third go at it, until he feels the itch, the nerve, just to say something. He doesn’t really know what to expect of it, but he’s curious. Eddie doesn’t understand why you’re always so skittish or nervous around him, keeping a few feet away, but staring at him like there was nothing more important on your mind—you had the prettiest smile, which Eddie had been on the receiving end of more than a few times. He just wanted to know more about you—and why you thought buying weed from him was your only option; frankly, you were taking away from his business in some form, buying a hefty amount with no real use, he could’ve been dragging in new customers with that merchandise, but you disposed of it like nothing. Eddie was challenged in some form, unable to focus and pass his classes like the rest of his classmates, but he wasn’t dumb—you didn’t reek of weed, not like most of the people he sold to, you always agreed with what he offered, never arguing on price or strains—you had no idea what you were doing, it was so blatantly obvious. Eddie tried to play it off as long as he could, but it hit him one day—nestled on the edge of the picnic table, feet dangling just above the freshly fallen leaves, the dried foliage cracking beneath your feet.

“I’m gonna have to start giving you discounts,” Eddie comments jokingly, a slight hint of teasing in his voice as passes you the small sandwich sized bag of weed, dangling it in front of you, “you’re drilling through my product with these weekly meetups.”

“Sorry,” You reply lamely, grabbing the baggie and shoving it into your pocket quickly, shoving your other hand into the pocket to match, yanking your jacket over your middle as you talked to him, insecure of his openly he looked at you—it was like he could see right through you, “I guess I can buy less, if it’s really a problem.”

“No, no,” Eddie stammers, hands shaking out in front of him, he turns around to fiddle with the items in his chest—a mess of different items: papers for rolling, more weed, a lighter, and a fat wad of cash. You were completely out of your element with him, all the time, “—you know, since you’re such a loyal customer, I was thinking—“

“What?” You reply eagerly, forgetting self control for a moment, face blushing a deep red, cheeks burning like you’d just stood over a fire.

Eddie laughs softly, reaching in to pull a joint between his fingers—new and untouched. He’s got a look on his face, like he’s about to engage in a dangerous game, ready to pull you down with him. It’s terrifying, but you’re nearly on your tiptoes now, shifting awkwardly in the silence—maybe you should run. 

Instead, you stay, “I was gonna offer you a freebie.” Eddie admits, placing the joint between his soft, pink lips, flicking at the lighter with difficulty—he hits the bottom a few times, still nothing. The calluses on his fingers were a pain in the ass and he wants to put you on the spot, seeing if you crack under the pressure. It’s the perfect opportunity. “Do you mind?” He asks, voice muffled around the joint in his mouth.

You nod hesitantly, pulling the lighter from his grip gently—it wasn’t the first time you’ve ever held a lighter, you weren’t that clueless, but to try and think of a way out of this situation, it seemed impossible. You flick the lighter a few times, the flame finally coming to life, Eddie leans forward slowly, letting the end burn until it smokes, inhaling quickly. You make a subtle move back, pressing the lighter into his hand. You squint, the haze of smoke hitting your face. It makes your eyes water and your nose burn, you hate it. The appeal was never apparent to you—and you didn’t judge Eddie, but it always seemed so pointless to you, throwing away money for a temporary high. 

“Here,” Eddie says roughly, holding the smoke in his lungs for a moment, breathing out as you took the joint from his fingers, “—it’s good shit, I promise.”

You pluck it delicately, held between your thumb and pointer finger—it’s so close, maybe you could just fake it, but now Eddie’s staring at you, waiting. You’re scrambling for a reason to weasel your way out of this. 

“I, uh—I can’t, Eddie.” You tell him softly, passing the joint his way, “My parents will know, I can’t just go home smelling like that.”

He stifles the laugh at your choice of words, the irony so relevant.

“I can smell the weed I gave you from your pocket,” Eddie points out, “how do you explain that?”

“I leave it in my bag—and then I move it, I don’t keep it in the house.” You explain weakly. Your heart is hammering in your chest, the sound of blood rushing and pounding in your ears. 

“How often do you smoke then?” Eddie asks curiously, trying to seem less abrasive with his questions. He wants to catch you in your lie, but he doesn’t want to scare you away.

He’s always been intrigued with, infatuated—he didn’t want you running in the other direction. 

You didn’t know what sounded believable, so you settled on, “Uh—every other day, sometimes twice on the weekends.”

That bag was enough weed to last anyone a month, as long as they didn’t overindulge. Eddie pushed in further, pointing out the slight inconsistency.

“Oh—because I usually only give that much to the real, real heavy smokers—they smoke at least twice a day, every day, and it still takes them a couple weeks to move through that much product.”

And if you heart couldn’t physically drop to your stomach, it still definitely felt like it.

“Uh, it’s—uh,” You try desperately to recover, “I share with friends too, so it goes pretty quick.”

“Aren’t you generous?” Eddie teases, having smoked through nearly half the joint by now, “Your nerdy little friends? The one’s in that book club?”

It was a soft jab, a pot calling the kettle black.

“It’s not nerdy,” You defend passionately, “you literally play D&D. That’s not fair.”

The squeak in your voice has Eddie smiling behind the joint, appreciating just how fiery you could be. 

“Why do you even care?” You ask, frustrated with him, it felt like he was picking on you for no reason. 

Eddie sighs softly, “I’m sorry—I’m sorry,” He stresses out, hoping you’ll relax, he sees your shoulders settle and takes that as a sign, “I’m just trying to figure you out—we talk a lot in passing, but I barely know you.”

It’s all your fault, your shyness, your innate fear of being caught in your lies—they were harmless, but it still felt wrong.

“It’s okay.” You tell him quietly, hands fisted in your pockets in tight balls of frustration. 

Eddie laughs to himself, nodding for you to take a seat on the bench, you're hesitant but listen anyways, taking whatever bait he is offering. If you weren’t going to fess up, Eddie was going to drop his knowledge of it to you and wait for your reaction—it could go horribly, but it was worth the risk. It wasn't like he couldn’t notice the way stared at his lips every time he took a drag from the joint, or how he licked his chapped lips frequently, chewed at his bottom one out of habit; you were mesmerized. 

“I wanna show you something,” He explains, squeezing in beside you, the rough material of his jeans rubbing against the outside of your leg, the prickle of the wood digging into your thighs where your dress didn’t cover, he grabs his supplies and sets the rolling paper out, a small bagging already ground up weed that was ready to go, and makes a small motion with his hand, “but I wanna see how well you do it first.”

“Eddie—“ You panic, glancing between him and the items in front of you. You didn’t have the slightest clue how to roll a joint, you wouldn’t even know where to start, Eddie looks at you pointedly, eyebrows raised slightly in question, “—I, uh—“

Eddie moves silently, grabbing the supplies for himself, working quickly and expertly, like he’d done it a million times. It’s surprisingly fascinating, eyes locked on his tongue as it pokes out to seal the paper together, his eyes flicking to your momentarily.

He set it down gently, hand curled up on the table as he looked at you, other hand resting against his thigh, he fiddled with his rings with the pad of his thumb, letting the silence linger for a moment.

Then finally, “You've never smoked before,” Eddie deduces, smirk crawling up his face, “have you?”

You shake your head slightly in defeat, his fingers curl against the denim, he is desperately holding back, your wide eyes staring up at him. 

“Sweetheart, you don’t need to buy weed to talk to me.”

And if you weren’t dying of embarrassment before, you were now.

“That’s—that’s not,” You fumble with your words, trying to find some kind of remark or comeback, or just explain yourself—nothing ever comes.

“What’s the real reason?” Eddie’s turned toward you now, leg swung over the bench so he’s straddling it, facing you’re curled in body, still struggling to keep your distance, jacket hugged right around your midsection. 

“My friend’s are scared of you,” You admit, eyes turned down toward the table, “—I had to find a way to talk to you without seeming obvious.”

Oh, it was very obvious. Eddie doesn’t want to strike you while you’re down though, so he keeps that to himself. 

“So, you like me?” He teases, nudging your arm with the soft touch of his knuckle, smiling sweetly at you. If your heart wasn’t already pounding out of your chest, it was definitely going to burst if he kept looking at you like that. 

You shrug indifferently—you weren’t sure of what your feelings were; curiosity, yes—the idea of trying not to obtain something seemed impossible, it was intriguing, to say the least, and it wasn’t like you were immune to all the rumors about Eddie. People constantly talked about him around school—either hateful or downright rude, but there were a few that talked about him like he was god personified—you wouldn’t necessarily call yourself religious, but it wasn’t going to stop you from finding out how true those rumors were.

“Like is a strong word,” You laugh slightly, crossing your left leg over your right, shoes shifting together under the table. You felt a few raindrops hit your shoulder, pulling you both from the intense conversation, “—I should probably go.”

“Wait—“ Eddie stops you, grasping the wrist of the hand that was still shoved firmly in your pocket, “—don’t go.”

And against every fiber of your being, you nod, letting him lead you down a path you weren’t sure you’d be able to feel remorse over.

“Why do you park so far away from the school?” You ask randomly, letting him drag you along the way, feet desperate to keep up with his wide strides. 

“Principal Higgins would skin my ass if he found out I was smoking on campus in the mornings,” Eddie explains, glancing back at your briefly as he reaches to open the rear of his van, giving you a full view of the back—it was surprisingly unmessy, aside from a few empty cans of beer and some suspiciously wadding up pieces of tissues and magazine pages, it wasn’t unwelcome—though, it reeked of weed and cigarettes, “—well, here’s my home away from home—trailer, whatever.”

Your parents would surely kill you if you went home smelling like either of those. 

Eddie leans inside, allowing you to crawl underneath the bridge his arm made, pointedly avoiding the opportunity for him to look up your dress, turning on your backside to scoot in beneath him—he looks mostly unphased, maybe you were reading into this too much. It could just be an innocent gesture to get to know you, altering motives aside—not that you would mind; you were hoping for it, selfishly enough.

You strip off your jacket once you’re seated, feet crossed out in front of you as you lay your jacket over your lap. Eddie closes the doors with a rough tug, nearly knocking himself on his ass, before finally taking a seat across from you, let’s outstretched around your own, one foot planted against the floorboard to allow him to rest a hand on his knee. 

“So—what did you want to—“ You start, quickly interrupted by Eddie motioning you over, you hesitate for a moment, debating whether or not it was worth it—your body moves on its own accord though, pushing up with your fingertips until you’re crawling toward him, breast peeking through the fabric that hung down. Eddie didn’t avert his gaze, though you’re almost positive his eyes are solely locked in yours, heated and intense as he stared you down, face still holding every bit of its softness.

You shift to sit beside him, but his hand comes up to stop you, “Come here,” His voice is soft, pleasing—like he knows what you want, it’s exactly what he needs, he’s more than willing to give you whatever you were hoping for, “right here.” He instructs, watching as you hesitantly swung your leg over his thigh, his left shifting down to accommodate room for you, the back of your thighs settling against the top of his, dress flowing out over his jeans, covering all the rips and holes that showed off his pale skin.

Eddie’s hands slip over the fabric of your dress gently, testing his boundaries, still holding his gaze on your face, “Why don’t you tell me what you really want?” He asks with a hint of knowing to his voice—he just wanted to hear you say it. “No more lies—or buying weed off of me for no reason.”

You put petulantly, shoulders falling slack as you watched his hands travel further up your dress, settling on your waist, the heat of his hands seeping through the thin cotton material, he squeezed gently, you gasped, “I’ve heard…things.” It’s a lame response, but it’s all you can manage.

“Things?” Eddie mocks, fingers coming around to fiddle with the tie on your dress, only lingering and never pulling, he wouldn’t take that step unless you allowed him.

“Girls talk about—you—and how good you are at,” His ringed fingers slip under the string, pulling against the strings, “stuff—like, with sex and all that.”

Eddie chuckles darkly, pulling a hand away to tilt your head up to look at him, rubbing tenderly at the skin of your jaw, “Sweetheart, if you wanted me to fuck you, all you had to do was ask.”

If only it were that easy—you’d never be bold enough to say it, not without a heavy amount of coercion, and a lot of teasing, it seemed pathetic to say it so simply—part of you enjoyed the game he was playing at. 

“I’m not like that,” You confess, “—too scared.”

Eddie nods slightly, “Too shy,” He notes, thumb dragging along your pursed lips, pulling them apart gently, “that’s okay.”

“Don’t get me wrong,” You laugh nervously, “I still—still think you’re really cute,” You admit, “and you’re so nice to me—“

“An adorable girl who buys all my weed and will do anything to talk to me?” Eddie asks redundantly, “I’d be stupid not to be.”

Eddie takes a moment, breaking the heated facade, “Say—what have you been doing with all the weed?”

You wonder if you should lie, deciding if it’s worth confessing over—but it seemed like everything was already being laid bare, “Uh, this guy—his name is Rick. I sold it to him really cheap, I just wanted to get rid of it.”

“Rick?” Eddie questions like he wants you to elaborate.

“Always smells like weed, looks kinda homeless—he hangs out behind the Rec center near my house.” You tell him honestly, and Eddie can feel the proverbial light bulb switching on in his head.

“You’re selling weed back to Reefer Rick?” He asks with a slight hint of incredulousness in his voice—it bordered on betrayal.

“I—I don’t know who he is!” You say defensively, “He didn’t seem sketchy or anything—did I do something wrong?”

“No—it’s just—“ Eddie laughs at the ridiculousness of it all, “—I’m not selling you anymore weed, sweetheart.”

“That’s fair,” You say on a small sigh, “stuff is gross anyways.”

“And you’re sitting on the lap of Hawkins second biggest pothead,” Eddie challenges, “so what does that say about you?”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t try you,” You reply boldly, voice still too soft and innocent, “—it’s not the same, you know.”

Eddie pulls his bottom lip between his teeth slowly, like he’s struggling to hold off whatever is eating at him, eyes half lidded and staring straight through you. 

“Tell me what you want.” Eddie demands slowly, other hand joining your face, adjusting your head until it’s locked between his grip, assuring you tell him directly rather than to your lap.

“I want you to touch me.” You admit shyly, his face pulling up in a smile

“I am touching you.” He points out; the smartass he’s known to be. “Show me.”

Shaky hands pull at his fingers, curling around his open palm until his hand is settled under your dress, pressed against the sticky, wet material of your underwear—there is no reason to feel shame now, not with the full grin that spreads across his face.

“I knew it.” He snarls, fingers rubbing soft circles into the material, the cold press of the fabric making you squirm, “How long?”

“How long?” You repeat, confused at his questioning.

“Since you’ve been touched.” He clarifies.

“A few months,” You tell him, “I had this thing back in the summer—whatever, it doesn’t really matter—“

Eddie laughs at you rambling, an attempt to settle your rattled nerves. “It’s fine—I was just gonna say you’re really wet—I’ve never, never touched a girl for the first time and had it feel like that,” He tells you honestly, “it takes time—god, can’t believe I could’ve had you all this time.”

“All this time?” 

“You really think it was all one-sided?” Eddie asks, “Sweetheart—I’ve known for weeks that you weren’t smoking that weed.”

“I guess I wasn’t very smart about it.”

Eddie shakes his head in amusement, “Doesn’t matter—we’re here now. Can I touch you?”

“You are.”

“Not how I want to.”

Your eyes widen at his admission, nodding shakily in response. His hand slipped under the fabric of your panties, one large finger running down your folds, ghosting over your already sensitive clit, dipping his finger inside of you instantly, a sharp gasp ripping from your chest as you gripped his shoulders, leaning forward slightly at the sudden intrusion.

Eddie looks up at you, your mouth hanging open slightly as he works his finger inside of you slowly, “Can I?” He asks, mouth parted slightly as he looks down toward your breasts, soft skin peeking out the top of your dress.

You nod fervently, exasperated by his constant polite questioning. “Eddie—stop asking, just do it.”

“Just wanna be sure.”

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want it—all of it.” You tell him honestly, “Plus, it’s ruining the whole—thing everyone says about you.”

“Thing?” He laughs softly, mouthing over your breasts.

“They—they say you’re like—I don’t know,” You feign the importance of it, it doesn’t really matter, “that you’re a god—with, you know.”

“A god?” Eddie teases, testing the word on his tongue, taking a small nip at your chest, your breath catching, “You think I’m a god?”

“Not me,” You shake your head, “it’s just what I’ve heard.”

“But, I’m sure you thought about it—so be honest with me.”

You sigh, shoving his face against your breasts to muffle his endless rant, “Jury’s still out—we’ll see.”

Eddie hums against your skin, dragging his tongue through the valley of your breasts, somehow having worked another finger inside you without you noticing, so caught in staring at his mouth that it’s an afterthought, but then he’s curling his fingers and you can’t do anything but moan, head falling back in anguish, your stomach tightening at the sensation.

“Condoms?” Eddie asks hopefully, he could feel his cock straining painfully against the line of his zipper, he was sure you felt it too, he wanted nothing more than to relieve that ache. 

“Oh, fuck—no, I don’t have any.” You say with deep regret, wishing you had thought ahead, had some type of courage that you could turn things into more, but no—and now here you were. 

“Wait—“ Eddie yelps, pulling back from your chest, “—passenger side, under the dash,” He points in that direction, removing his hand gently to allow you to scramble toward the front of the van, yanking open the compartment to find two dust covered foil packets.

“God—these things have to be a hundred years old,” You complain, grabbing at the items and returning to Eddie, tossing them into his lap, “are we sure that’s safe?”

Eddie takes a hesitant look, nodding gleefully as he reads the black print, “Thank god—they’re still good for a few months.” You look at him with narrowed eyes, wondering why he had such a decrepitated pair stashed away.

“We got them during one of those safe sex classes,” He says defensively, “better safe than tied down with a kid, right?”

He had a point—plus, you were more than eager to move things along.

You reach for the tie of your dress, struggling to find the string at this ankle, Eddie noticed, “Hey, don’t worry about—“ He says soothingly, “just take your underwear off—they’re already soaked to nothing anyways.”

“God—shut up,” You reply lightheartedly, stripping yourself of the garment before returning to his lap, watching as he pulled himself out of his pants in hurry, red leaking tip screaming for relief, holding the shaft firmly in his hand while he ripped at the foil with his teeth, grabbing the rubber and throwing the trash to the side.

“Wait—“ You interrupt, pointing at the condom in between his teeth, “can I?”

Normally he’d find it weird, but it was the ultimate turn on when it came from you—curious hands and curious minds, he couldn’t deny you that.

“I’ve just—never,” Most guys refused to wear condoms, so it was kind of fascinating, “—forget it.”

“Oh—of course,” He obliged, handing the protection over to you, watching as you slowly rolled the latex over his tip, down his shaft, until it stopped near the base, fingertips brushing through his curls faintly, “—I always wear one, I don’t see why guys complain about it. It really doesn’t make a difference.”

You laugh softly, “Well, aren’t you a gentleman?”

“A godly gentleman, I hope.”

Your smirk softly, guiding your hips over his own, letting him rub his wide, aching tip through your folds, gathering up some of your slick before slipping in slowly, allowing you to adjust to the girth of him. You let out a quiet sigh, hips rocking slightly as you forced him deeper and deeper, a collective groan from the both of you when he was fully seated inside you.

“Let me untie your dress,” Eddie practically begs, yearning for the sight of your bare breasts and soft stomach as he fucked into you, wanting to see your body shift with every movement, “yeah?”

You nod, arms coming to wrap around his neck as you shifted your hips slightly, small lifted motions as you moved against his dick, Eddie muffled the groans in the alcove of your neck, fumbling with the tie until the dress fell loose, pooling at your hips.

“There we go.” He sighs in relief, pulling at your arms until they’re resting at your side, giving him the perfect view of you, so wound up and panting for relief, hair askew and in your face, much like his own. “Touch yourself, sweetheart.”

It wasn’t a new concept, you did it often—just never in the presence of others. But, Eddie sent a surge of confidence through you, something completely unexpected. Your fingertips dragging against the skin gently, body breaking out in goosebumps at the sensation, you squeeze at your breasts, receiving a small grunt from Eddie as he thrust into your harder, eyes locked on you, alternating between your working hands and exasperated face. 

“Fuck—I thought you were so innocent,” He laughs warmly, hands gripping at your hips, thumbs digging into the curve of the bone settled their, rocking you in time with his eager thrusts, forceful and totally in control, “guess I was wrong.”

“Surprise.” You mock breathlessly, the soft mounds of flesh squeezed gently between your hands, thumbs rubbing over the hardened buds testingly—you’ve never been super responsive, but then Eddie is reaching his tongue out, following the drag of your thumb, and that concept flies completely out of the window.

“You gonna come on my dick?” He asks teasingly, mouthing at the undersized of your breasts, “—think you can come without me touching you, sweetheart?”

You shake your head in a hurry, the thought was like torture, but Eddie doesn’t budge, removing his hands from you fully, resting against the side of his van, arms outstretched at his side. You stop for a moment, frustrated.

“That’s not fair.” You pout slightly, earning an amused laugh from Eddie.

“If you want it so bad—you’ll get what you need,” Eddie tells you, his thighs nudging your hips forward slightly, causing him to slip even deeper, “take what you need, okay?”

You look at him with a heated gaze, lust and anger laced together, “Lay down.” You order, watching as he shifts eagerly, allowing you full room to stretch your hands over his chest as he lays back, giving you the perfect amount of space to lose yourself, rocking your hips at a pace that has Eddie choking on air, palms pressed firmly against the material of his shirt, gripping slightly for assistance. 

“Fuck—okay,” Eddie pants, meeting your thrust with fervor, “I see how it is—shit, please tell me your close.”

“So close,” You whine, “God—so fucking close.”

Eddie makes a noise, “Mmm, not god, sweetheart.”

“Fuck off.” You laugh through baited breath, mouth hung open on a wordless gasp as he thrust into your harshly, hitting a spot so deep that you’re curling forward at the suddenness, nearly coming then, but you try to hang on, “Eddie—-shit—“

“It’s alright.” He nods, hair messy and bangs stuck to his forehead with sweat, rubbing your thighs tenderly, letting you rock your hips with such an intensity that he can’t hold back any longer, coming almost immediately after you, both of your desperate gasps of pleasure mixing together, cunt clenching tightly around him as you came, almost completely untouched—it was intense and visceral and like nothing you’ve ever felt. Eddie pants loudly, letting out a sudden laugh when you finally lock eyes.

“Oh, don’t look so smug.” You chide, shoving at him gently. 

Eddie doesn’t respond, leaning up to kiss you without warning, you make a noise of surprise, not offended in the slightest, but deeply caught off guard. Eddie pulls away slowly, staring at you hesitantly.

“That felt overdue, I’m sorry.” Eddie apologizes.

He doesn’t expect you to return the same eagerness, nearly toppling him back, lips pressed against him with all the energy and feeling you could muster, indulging in the simple act of kissing him. You’ve never experienced anything this special; so raw and real, it was exhilarating. 

Eddie slips out of you gently, tying up the condom and disposing of it in the front of his van, a small trash can nestled underneath the dash—it was filled to the brim already, which wasn’t surprising. You dress quickly, watching as Eddie shifted and tucked himself back inside his jeans quietly, eyes lingering on you the entire time. 

“No more excuses, okay?” Eddie says, “I get it if you don’t want to be seen with me at school—I can live with that, but seriously—I like you.”

You smile sweetly, tugging at your jacket pocket until it falls open, “I like you too, Eddie.” You find the bag of weed with ease, tossing it in his direction. “Keep the money, I don’t need it.”

Eddie catches it with one hand, “Same time next week then?”

You nod eagerly, leaning up to press a chaste kiss against his cheek, “Don’t be late.”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not outing myself at my internship?

(some quoted things are paraphrased because my native language isnt english and i had to translate the things im quoting first.)

I (20+, trans nb) recently got a four week internship at a local radio station. I dont take any HRT yet and dont own a binder, so while i do try to dress in a way that feels comfortable to me, i dont really consider myself to be passing. So I applied to the internship as my deadname (which is also still my legal name) and introduced myself as a girl and with that name too. I was going in with the mindset that its kinda my own personal thing to consider, and since its only temporary and involves 'official' stuff (documents, articles being credited etc) + i never know how people would react to it/treat me, i dont necessarily have to tell everyone i meet. the internship went over kinda fast and everyone there was really nice and i had a feeling they'd also be accepting and use my right pronouns and name if i told them, but at that part i didnt have much time left and didnt want them to suddenly treat me differently and make a big thing out of it.

During the last few days of the internship, i got sick and couldn't go to work, which in itself was fine. But what happened was that my grandpa, who sometimes does volunteering at the same radio station, had an appointment to record something on one of the days i was sick and thought it'd be nice to surprise visit me. I, being sick and at home, obviously wasn't there but when he tried to find me he called out my new name and not my deadname, and when they got confused and asked him who he meant he apparently kind of laughed at them for not knowing that that name is me.

The next day, when i called in again to tell them I'd have to stay home for the next two days (till weekend) too, i immediately got asked why he was calling me [new name] instead of [deadname]. I got kinda uncomfortable since its like, either forcing me to lie or to out myself. I ended up telling them the truth, that im actually trans and prefer that name and that my family & friends use it for me, but that i didnt feel like outing myself at their workplace since it was only a short term official thing. The woman on the phone then went along the lines of "ah, i figured it was that already. you wouldnt have been the first trans intern we had, we would have been happy to use your new name for you. I also didn't like/appreciate your grandfather laughing at me for not knowing about it". I didnt really comment on that more than saying 'thanks' because i didnt want to have to defend me not outing myself? And we had a few other official things to discuss regarding the internship ending anyway.

A few days later i got mail from them, which had the documents i needed to prove i was an intern there (and they were nice and sent two copies, one with my deadname and she/her and one with my new name and he/him). There was another smaller piece of paper in the envelope which read "kind regards from everyone in the team. and sorry we weren't sensitive/understanding/empathetic enough for you to tell us".

And it sounds nice, but to me the message + the conversation i had where i was kind of forced to out myself earlier reads kind of passive aggressive. or as indirectly telling me i should have just outed myself and they're hurt by me not trusting them enough to tell them and making them look dumb to my grandfather for not knowing.

AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[ravewing]

Could you talk about your infection au? I'm invested in it and I've been thinking about it all day

YES HULLO !! i dont want to spoil anything too much and im also working on a field guide sort of thing for the different stages of infection so im gonna try not to talk about those rite neow BUT im so glad that people r enjoying it! so id been seeing these scary mlp infection things ALLL over my tik tok feed for weeks and i was like .. yanno .. itd be really silly if i made this wof .. so i spent like 3 days mulling over what i could make the infection actually BE and i almost made it like the icewing plague but like it went scary but i didnt really know how to keep going with that so then i came up with a super smart idea which turned into this😋i dont wanna say where it started yet cuz ermm lore stuff but i will say that liek in the story the infection doesnt officially have a name yet so everyones just calling it like. the sickness at jade mountain. most of the infected originated IN jade mountain with the first symptoms being noticed in moon and turtle respectively, and then with the icewing students. i cant tell you guys how they got sick bc again . lore ..... but i think that its like kinda possible to find out. but i dunno. vulture and fierceteeth are also sick. there is ONE singular factor that unites these 4 + icewings, which miight b the reason WHY they got sick.kinkajou technically SHOULD be sick but she isnt for another reason that i cant say but if you really look into wof lore then i think u can figure it out idk. the infections transmitted via saliva/blood transmission, so mainly bites. tail barbs of infected sandwings are capable of spreading the sickness. there are 4 stages (5 if you count death) and it takes around 3 to 3.5 weeks for all stages to finish,, by ep3 the sickness has been around for ~2.5 weeks. the only KNOWN cure is amputation of wherever the infected area is,, so MUCH easier in early stages, unfortunate if its on an inconvenient spot, and impossible after hives start spreading. obvi flame had to be important bc i heart flame and i was like .. wait .. hes a healer in canon ...... so that worked out perfectly !! ik that in canon liana is like one of glorys MANY bodyguards but idc shes a healer here bc ermm i said so . also liana and mango r dating but i dont think that its relevant to the plot theyre just girlfriends in my head . as of right now kinkajou and peril are the only known immune dragons, with kinkajou for reasons currently unknown and peril bc . yknow . shes on fire . glory is in close contact with ruby and both kingdoms have taken measures to notify their kingdoms; the rainforest is under a sort of lockdown with rainwings on constant patrol/lookout for outsiders entering, they accept anyone who isnt infected to stay there for refuge while the skywing kingdom is in basically total lockdown other than ruby's messengers. ruby and glory also exchange their respective kingdoms medical knowledge, with the skywings having very good technology and rainwings having an expansive knowledge on medical herbs. nobody has heard from coral- the last thing she did was call for anemone's return back to the kingdom, and once she arrived, they all went underwater and have since then cut all outside contact. the mudwings are aware of the sickness but have so far done nothing about it; moorhen has warned her subjects but thats really it. i havent really decided what the sandwings or the icewings are up to but let me tell you guys its looking really rough for the icewings . so far it looks as though royal icewings are more resilient- tundras currently sick, but the sickness seems to be progressing much slower. this was initially believed to be because of the cold, but then other icewings started getting sick, and so its believed to just be a royal thing- likely something in their genetics. icicle is also sick but shes in stage 4 .. pray for my girl guys. lynx is helping snowfall out the best she can, but with the population getting increasingly sick seemingly spontaneously, its extremely difficult and stressful. the talons have quarantined sanctuary too. ok im outta characters but ya ty 4 the support!!

[sneckoil]

ok so i haven't watched housemd since i was a kid and just finished s1 and i am just. why is cameron written like that. genuinely her thing with house had me so completely lost this season. feels like a waste of a great actress but?? maybe I'm wrong?? she just feels so. empty as a character to me. regardless i would love to know what your opinion is on the character bc from what i remember it doesn't get better from here

I dont blame you ban-joey and I really appreciate your courage to send this off anon. We probably have the same experience. I watched house as a kid too (when I was 14, like 10 yrs ago) and hated her for being contrarian and inconsistent and in the way. But since then i’ve looked inward and found i was imposing double standards wrought by internalized misogyny. Anyway.

My opinions on cameron:

Number 1, if i were her i would shoot my shot with house too. excuse me. as if most of us on here are not just twenny… thirty somethings pining after old men. happily going on a monster truck date? getting a date in return for the old man to have me back on my team? Yeah. I respect the hustle. fuck that old man or whatever. marry him when he’s sick. phantom thread him

Number 2, liking Cameron is easy once you accept. That she is really really really not normal. I know this may be something you already know. But internalize it. She says something righteous but it doesnt mean that that is her defining trait. There is something so deeply wrong with her. I know you’re still on season 1 and Yes she Gets Worse but if you are working with the same lens as i am (that there’s something WRONG with her) then everything that happens makes sense. [spoilers] Of course youre only attracted to people when they’re sick and dying. Of course your reaction to being told youre boring is getting high on your patient’s drugs a few weeks away from your HIV test results. Of course you wanted to cheat on your dying husband with his best friend who comforted you while your husband was dying but you didn’t and you still haven’t after the fact he died. Of course you kept your dead husband’s sperm. Of course you wanted to kill a dictator but didnt, and then got pissed at your husband who Did kill him, a husband you actually felt nothing for and was hesitant to even let propose to you [/end spoilers] she’s so funny. If she were a guy they’d call her a messy bitch and love her for it. she has uncategorizable mental illnesses masking as a savior complex.

Number 3, you’re right about the emptiness on some level though. They wanted to write her out of the show and they did her so bad. And I’d say yeah she’s inconsistent as a character, but that goes for Everyone in this show. House isn’t consistent. Wilson isn’t consistent. None of them are consistent. Cameron is only as well-written as the writer who knows how to write her. I’ve suspected the only reason i hated her when I was 14 was she got in the way of hilson. But nowadays that stuff is so unserious to me. All i care about now is messy people being messy about other people

Number 4, she compels me. I like that she’s interesting. I don’t like most of her decisions, I disagree with her the most, but it’s interesting. She’s fun to Watch. She’s no Foreman (that guy is a case study in layers of character depth but that’s for another ramble) but that’s more than i can say for her than someone like, say, Chase LMAO

That being said if you dont like cameron then that’s fine 👍 we live in a society etc etc

I end with this (thank you jackie for putting this image on my feed)

[huckleberrykai]

hueningkai ~ i thought we were in love already?

pairing: kai x fem!reader summary: kai tries to think of ways to get you to like him, unbeknownst to him you've been in love with him the whole time. genre: best friends to lovers warnings: nervous kai, food word count: 1k click here for my masterlist!

kai wants you to like him.

soooooo bad.

he's had a crush on you for about 3 years, so basically since you met. you started working as a makeup artist for TXT 3 and a half years ago and never looked back. you clicked with all of them straight away, and slowly you were incorporated into their friday night movie nights, into their joint vacations, beomgyu even joked that you were their unofficial 6th member once, despite not singing and dancing for a living.

being friends with the boys became as easy as breathing, and now it was more than uncommon to find you without at least one of them glued to your side at any given minute.

especially kai.

you had gotten close faster than anyone else, due to your shared love of anime, plushies and video games. you had similar music tastes, but still different enough to warrant you making each other playlists of songs you think the other would like.

in the beginning, you often had hangout sessions to play games and watch anime together, but these turned into cuddle sessions over time. slowly they became sleepovers, and eventually, it ended up with you crashing at the dorm at least 2 nights a week. you were usually snuggled up to kai, both sleeping peacefully on his small, plushie-invaded bed while taehyun just sighed, looking on from his side of the room.

the members had all noticed this of course. it was hard not to notice the lovesick puppy he became whenever you were around. the longing stares, the sharing of snacks, the comparing hand sizes just so he could touch your hand. they were getting sick of it.

so what do they do? sit him down for an intervention. obviously.

"i just don't know how to make her like me..." kai pouted, clinging onto a plush cat in a penguin costume that you had gifted him for his birthday.

"SHE TOTALLY LIKES YOU ALREADY!! ARE YOU BLIND!?!" beomgyu screamed in his classic beomgyu fashion.

"WELL SHE HASN'T TOLD ME?? and we dont keep secrets from each other so she can't like me! ha!" kai argued smugly.

"not to side with beomgyu.. but you haven't told her either.." soobin cut in. kai fell back into the couch in defeat.

okay so intervention wasn't gonna cut it.

"haven't told who what?" you strolled into the room casually, stealing a sandwich from yeonjun's lunch plate, resulting in him glaring daggers at you.

maybe the intervention would work better with you here.

you looked around, mouth full of sandwich. soobin looked very awkward, taehyun's eyes were wide, beomgyu looked on the verge of crying with laughter and yeonjun.. well his sandwich was stolen. >:(

kai was BRIGHT red. like a fire engine.

"how long have you been here?" taehyun asked. you shrugged, taking another bite, "only a couple minutes, i just got here. why are you guys being weird?"

yeonjun sighed, looking directly at kai, "PLEASE can you just say it. or i will if you want me to?" he asked him. the poor boy was malfunctioning, he wanted you to know how much he loved you but was petrified of your rejection. he nodded to the older boy, not trusting his voice. he felt small under your gaze, letting out a meek, "you can say it."

he shoved his face into his plushie as if an 8-inch tall cat was going to hide an entire six-foot tall man. oh well, he could try. yeonjun turned to you seriously.

"kai really likes you but he's way too nervous to ask you out. he loves you a lot but doesn't know how to say it. this was supposed to be an intervention for him.. or maybe more like a pep talk? but then you showed up." he explained, doing his best to tell you gently.

"oh. i thought we already knew we liked each other? was i supposed to not know?"

beomgyu couldn't hold in his laughs anymore, "I TOLD YOU!!" kai's face shot up in surprise, "w-what?" he croaked.

you tilted your head in confusion, stuffing your hands in the pockets of kai's hoodie. "well.. we cuddle all the time, we're always holding hands, you kiss my cheeks when i'm sad, we even have matching rings?" you wiggled your fingers, showing off your ring to emphasise your point. "i've been in love with you this whole time, i just thought you weren't ready to be in a relationship yet being an idol and all? did i read the situation wrong? oh god-"

"NO!! no you definitely read it right!" he frantically waved, making sure you understand. "i like you so much, and i DID want you to know.. i guess i just didn't believe you'd like me too."

"kai do you think i sleep in the beds of people i don't like? wear their clothes?" you pulled at the hoodie covering your figure. he shook his head. "i guess not."

"you're so silly." you made your way across the room and sat down on the floor next to him, taking his hand in yours. "will you be my boyfriend then? officially?"

you'd never seen kai smile wider than in that moment. he threw his arms around you and held you close to him. "yes please." his voice was soft but you heard it, turning to press a kiss to his cheek. you missed slightly and hit the corner of his mouth, and butterflies erupted in his tummy.

"YES!!" "FINALLY!" "congratulations!" "WOO!!"

your friends cheered for you as you held your new boyfriend in your arms, all smiles.

"anyway.. what i actually came here to ask, do you guys wanna get barbecue together later?"

somehow the cheers were even louder for barbecue than they were for Y/Nkai

----------------- bonus ✧˖° -----------------

after getting barbecue with the boys, you decided to sleep over. nothing out of the ordinary, but the first time you'd be sleeping over as kai's girlfriend.

"i love you."

"you've told me that 3 times in the last 5 minutes."

"yeah but i spent 3 years not telling you."

"go to sleep." you snuggled further into his chest, pulling the blanket around the two of you.

"not until you say it back." he held you tightly.

"i love you too kai. so much." you pecked his cheek, making him smile contently. suddenly taehyun's lamp lit up from the other side of the room.

"will both of you shut up and sleep."

[do-i-look-like-a-doctor]

Gojo headcanons bc ive got too much time on my hands

bro ate chalk as a kid and ive got proof

look at his kid self for a sec, he’s got a grown out buzzcut and the blue eyed stare. thats a chalk eater

you can’t convince me he’s a good swimmer

he’s lanky and tall, bro gets swept away the min he is near the ocean. he’s built to be shark food, sorry luv

the cloth he wears to cover his eyes is raggedy as hell

let me explain. he wears it constantly both in and out of battle, he wears it in any weather, and let’s be real he’s so odd that he probs sleeps in it sometimes

this leads me to believe that even tho he almost never gets hurt during a fight the blood and grime gets all up in the cloth

no amount of Tide or even acid could get rid of the STENCH that mask holds

it smells like ten cans of bounce that ass. one whiff could, quite literally, kill an old man

he’s a chronic podcast listener

tried to become one of those skater kids, failed miserably. geto never let him live it down

i think he’d make a great partner but if you listen to Hozier he will cause a scene

basically what im saying is he’s jealous of Hozier

Gojo knows that no matter how strong he is he will NEVER compare to that man’s vocals/lyrics and what they do to you

que Gojo trying to sing your fav Hozier song(s) but he can’t match the pitch which sends you into cardiac arrest

other than that he’s a pretty good singer, could probs serenade you to sleep

you know how everyone has an irrational fear? yuh his is birds

you ever see him interact with one in a normal way?

you see a bird, he sees a sack of organs with hollow bones that sore through the sky and sometimes they can talk

he pisses his pants when he sees a macaw

he’s a rich bitch and it’s a problem. not cuz he’s an ass abt it but bc he spoils the hell out of the teens

we know he would buy Megumi anything in the world but Yuuji and Nobara get the same treatment

he saw Yuuji’s orphaned ass and immediately transferred HUNDREDS to Yuuji’s bank acc

ain’t no student of his gonna be broke, that’s for sure

probs carries around pics of Megumi from when the teen was a kid

some are cute such as Megumi at the beach or having a fun at the zoo. others are of Megumi fighting for his life

i feel that when Yuuji entered the equation he also started taking pics of him during cute, fun, or important moments

very much sentimental older brother energy

whenever Gojo gets sick or injured he either becomes a massive baby or denies it until he’s dead

depends on the problem tbh. if he’s got a head cold he needs to be hospitalized but if he got his legs cut off he’d ignore it for weeks

you know how most men’s body wash or shampoo is named in, what’s considered, “masculine scents”

like redwood, campfire smoke, whiskey, fucking piss water

yuh he’s not a fan

i don’t think he’d really like those scents. in his mind, why does smelling like burnt coal or salt = masculine?

he probs just grabs whatever he likes, maybe orange scented stuff or even subtle vanilla

whatever cologne he wears tho is fucking delicious. you smell it and immediately your knees give out

i think if you gave him a huff of old spice tho he’d just disintegrate

im thinking of his general hygiene now, he has a solid routine

it’s not a million steps, probs just good quality face wash, serums, and moisturizer

that being said he suffered horrific back acne as a kid. dont ask how I know this, i will eat you alive

he looks and acts flawless but we know the truth. he sucks at card games

Yuuji’s biggest flex is he beat Gojo at go-fish 28 times in a row

he says calabunga and not a single person can stand it

that’s it for now, i’ll probs add more headcanons later

thanks for coming to my ted talk, i hope this post finds you before Sukuna does

(this is all mildly unedited, soz for mistakes)

[thesmallworldofsamizayn]

Hiii since you said you were interested in what others think about the whole Sami/Bron/MITB situation.... I have thoughts and it's a bit much to write in the comments so, Here goes... (this isn't even all the thoughts BTW 😂

@thesmallworldofsamizayn I got to agree a bit there, with your statement of Bron being unstoppable and Sami being the underdog, as well as getting sick of the comments being made about Sami being the Champ. Usually I don't really give into or pay much attention to all the talk, and if I do, it only makes me want to fight harder, but I'll be honest; this time round, Sami doesn't NEED the belt...

He's good enough on his own and he's proven it time and time again. It was a nice icing on the cake type situation (having the belt), but, the point is that there is and was plenty of delicious cake already there! (if that makes any sense) So bottom line, he'll survive without it, he can survive without it. If anything, it'll probably light a bigger fire under him, reigniting that fiery passion of his. The one that keeps drawing us to him and into his world.

Honestly, this is going to sound so bad, but I won't be overly upset if/when Sami drops the belt (note I too am an avid Sami fan and I'd be a bit sad, but not devastated). To me (personally), before he won the IC championship, and even though he had more loses than wins, he was more intriguing to watch. Idk why, and may be it's just me atm, after that long drawn out (weeksss of) Alpha Academy saga - may be that's what's got me feeling this way fn...

A few weeks ago I would have said that they are building up to Chad winning it, but now that Bron and Sheamus are involved who knows the hands the title will eventually fall into. Also, it's going to be hard to get Sami to drop the belt this quick (even though it's been what? A couple of months now already?) when it clearly (you can SEE it) means so much to him... It'll be hard but they'll eventually have to do it. So may be MITB will be it.

Also got to agree a bit here with @shanie too, I would love to see Sami get involved in the BL saga and if there's anyone who believes in redemption, always seeing the good in people, fighting for the greater good, and what's good and right AND against all odds, it's Sami Zayn. He's got the innate need to rescue people out of toxic situations and to fix said situation. So he would definitely fit the narrative if they decide to insert him into it.

BUT the big issue is with the fans. Again. There's quite certainly going to be a LOT of hate if this happens. I'm already hearing rumblings of people unhappy with just the mere thought of it. Saying he's not family so why is he involving himself in it, as much as that's true, have they completely forgotten that he in fact was a THE 'honorary Uce'? The closest an 'outsider' has ever gotten to the family or being 'family'? Heck he almost became 'Sami Uso'.

So in the end people can and will make up their own minds and there nothing anyone can do about it. And also in the end each to their own I guess... (BTW people need to chill out and remember this is fiction NOT real life 😭)

Anywayy just a few of my thoughts....sorry about the long winded answer 😂😅

(no pressure to to respond to this BTW 😊

🐨

hello! thank you very much for these detailed thoughts. youve actually articulated a lot of what i was feeling. first, the fact that a) i dont like seeing fans bitch about sami and b) i especially dont like it when they're kind of right. it is someone else's turn, and maybe yeah that person should have been chad. i was more than ready for it to be chad at catc personally. im not too mad that it's gone in a different direction cause it does actually look like they have other storyline ideas for chad now, but as far as sami's concerned, yeah the belt isn't doing anything more for him now than it has till this point. it's weird to think he hasn't held a title as a face since the nxt championship 10 years ago. but thinking back on that, and everything since, everything he's been so good at - yeah, im not sure that long term champion is the right look on him! he won it in 2014 and lost it devastatingly to kevin 2 months later, and i would not have wanted that to happen any other way.

thing is, i will be sad if sami loses to bron at mitb. especially if he loses clean, not unlike he did to kevin all those years ago, futilely continuing to kick out long after he should have quit until he's physically incapable of doing so. what's maybe harder to explain as a wrestling fan is that i want to be sad about sami zayn. i like those heavy emotions, i like feeling like my favourite character can't catch a break. that's the entire essence of the underdog appeal. further to that, this is kind of the state im most used to and therefore most comfortable in when it comes to characters im invested in. in the words of mitski, i bet on losing dogs. and sami winning was an incredible feeling and so deserved, but i really don't mind him losing! he's both more compelling overall and gets more interesting stories, and just inspires so much sympathy in that position. (look i also like seeing him in pain i'll say it. he clearly likes acting being in pain just as much so everyone's happy i think)

then there's the bloodline and yeah, i'd sit up to watch sami back with those guys especially roman. im apparently one of the few people who really doesn't want roman to come back as a face no matter how much the fans cheer him, but if he is going to have a face turn, it's got to involve sami god damn it. i was just talking with @milk-crater about this, how it makes more sense with sami being a bit more removed, because that makes him a better person to forgive roman, and to be his moral guide. also it's sami, if anyone in all pro wrestling would reach out a hand to a genuienly remorseful roman reigns it's him. all that and the two just have such great chemistry, and it was the baseline for everything that made the honorary uce arc so fantastic and beloved, and it'd be nice to come back to some of that. maybe show these smarks what they've forgotten about why sami is the absolute best again.

thanks again for hopping in my inbox and never worry about being long winded. anyone who's ever been in a conversation with me knows im the last person to take issue with that!

[esorxy]

remembering all the insanely long marauders fics ive brainrotted over because i kinda forgot all of them. roughly in the order i read them.

Whatever happened to the young, young lovers?

355k, jegulus wolfstar rosekiller. post war (ended by regulus) where they just hang around grimmauld place all day. i literally cant remember anything that happened. but i liked how they stayed home and didnt go outside, because i relate to that. it was alternating chapters between post war and pre war, honestly i dont even know it was just so much relationship angst and regulus being incredibly competent and hurt.

All The Young Dudes

526k, the character development and buildup, its like the level of the actual series without the annual voldemort attack. i was DESTROYED by the ending, it lived in my brain rent free for like a week. why did it have to be canon compliant???! the way they spent so much time pining, so much time apart, and so little time together. but that theyre literal soulmates, which is so sad for grant (he suffered true emotional damage) lmfao. I guess this is the basis (canon??) of marauders era

we can be heroes, for ever and ever

102k alternate happy ending to atyd - yes PLEASE this is what i needed to heal the pain after reading atyd.

choices

624k. lowkey feel the same way towards this as atyd, except it didnt live in my brain rent free for a week. in that i respect that it's good and got heartbroken when everyone died and they didn't get their happy ending, but it did get me into jegulus so I'm not complaining. IDK it's just sad, but i love regulus and evan and cerci. even though i deadass can't remember anything else.

crimson rivers

865k actually SOBBING this fic is everything. so much plot and so much hurt, it is amazing and painful and intense. it has the most picturesque scenes, beautiful happy ending. but i did kinda get sick of it near the end cos its so fuckin long, and i was not into the girls in the fic so i was kinda cbs

holding onto the self

76k and it was so good i felt so sad for sirius. this is the type of fic which makes me jaw drop and suck in breath like poor baby honestly. no summary needed cos ill never forget what its about lmfao....

just lovers

321k fake dating au. this is GREAT. its so light hearted which is a great change from the akckdjebakzj. this is the climb to the top for regulus being my favourite character. lowkey can't remember shit but i liked it and i need more fics like it because it was creative and there's not much room for that in marauders verse

only the brave

645k and The fic of my dreams. this is everything and i loved every second of it. every character is so great, and it got me into pandalily!!! perfect amount of hurt (a lot), and such good plot. it has every ship i like, i was like drowning in a hot spring of happiness while reading this

ecliptic

147k, oh it's so creative and new. it was so suspenseful cos we got 0 answers, and the fic is deadass incomplete wtf!! i love how everyone is sad but mostly rational. the jegulus was really really nice, and i liked how the cruciatus was made out to be a big deal so the hurt/comfort is better. i feel like the plot is better than the delivery

wolfstar my one true pair, jegulus my second true pair, evan®ulus has a special place in my heart, marauders fanfiction a permanent space in my mind for at least the next few weeks

new edit: shit! i forgot to update and i read so many more long fics and can barely remember them now

mastermind

311k i cant even remember anything that happened ... except i liked the dynamic between narcissa and regulus, and narcissa is so damn pretty. this was the one where regulus made james and sirius go with him to the cave, and then james had to force him to drink the potion, so much angst arghhhh.

all along there was some invisible string (tying you to me)

103k spiderman AU + high school and all i can say that its an original setting... the pining was great, and the spiderman kiss!! but other than that like it was good, i guess

I adored you madly, extravagantly, absurdly

243k Victorian AU with arranged marriage trans regulus. I loved regulus' character, he was so spiteful and petty but also down bad, and jegulus matched so perfectly together. i want his life so bad because his literal job was being married, like deadass he didnt do shit all day except read, play with his cats and pine for his husband...

a violent kind of spin

212k not going to lie, my favourite/most striking parts of this fic were the $h scenes... and i just finished it last night so I dont even have an excuse. james asking sirius to turn around and not even waiting for him to do it??? oml hes unhinged and it was so well written. the bathtub scene when he was on a timer and then just walked out like everything was fine!!! help it was so angsty im in love. i feel like i speedran this fic and didnt read it properly, which is probably accurate

Im not gonna teach him how to dance with you

122k. rosekiller is the BEST. i love the whole plot tbh and it was so well paced. love that for evan because nobody else is gonna keep by with barty's crazy. i would have liked it more if it had crack undertones but yknow whatever, cant have everything. i thoroughly enjoyed all the romantic tension in the leadup, the way they were both so in love im gone.

All the young dudes - Sirius' Perspective

628k, let me tell you, canon has no right being that sad, and the beloved author just fed off that like a parasite. i should have expected how this fanfic would destroy me, but the delivery made it so much more painful. i sobbed reading the Halloween and Azkaban chapters. and sirius,,, like why did you have to be so angry all the time. and so obsessed with remus from day 1. it was great. although like halfway through i just felt like ... wolfstar is so basic. jegulus once jegulus forever i guess.

whatever our souls are made of

157k hanahaki where we really gotta work for the happy ending. OML it was so beautifully sad. reggie 💔💔. sirius said nobody on the earth deserves his baby brother, but if he had to pick someone, it would be James 😭😭 I'm a broken man

oml i havent updated in 2 months... its ok i didnt read that much cos i was too tired with uni and work. anyway i found all my fics through tiktok, tumblr, or thru the author cos this gold mine is too big sorry chief. which is like. someone recommended this following fic :skull:

I'm not okay (I solemnly swear)

107k and unfinished :000 cant believe it i read something unfinished but when i read the tags i was like ok yeah im in. my secret is that i read fics like these!!! and most of them are not well written but this one is. and so was that other one about sirius but it was only like 78k so i didnt write it up. anyway poor reggie is going through it, and idk if its ever getting finished cos the poor author might be going through it too. additional note: idk if this is the one but bestie has so many problems like get help fr.

the veil of secrecy

100k but its unfinished and let me tell nobody i was devastated. omg it was so sad so the summary is after reggie defected voldymouldy found out and like --- got all his remaining horcruxes and stuffed them inside his chest and abdominal cavity in some crazy ass surgery. and then he sewed his mouth shut and broke his fingers and kept him around him like some porcelain doll/pet and thats the punishment????? oml how do u think of that... anyway so he dissociates into his fabric walls of occlumency so voldy doesnt know where the locket is. ok whatever they escape and he falls in love with jamie idk. its unfinished.

to the boy who...

238k its similar to the previous one (written by the same author ibbsterkisster) and i found it to read to cope with the first one not being finished. yes this is like 3x as long sighs we all know how it is. anyway its similar except reggie is like his boy toy instead... which is even worse. anyway i cant remember anything about the jegulus but i DO remember that evan was so sweet (as he is) he like stroked the bruise on reggies wrist very gently :facepalm: and that scene lives rent free in my brain.

blood on my shirt, heart in my hand

22k and id just like to say, this is the kind of horror that i like. its kinda a mystery at first but its not so creepy, and the jegulus endgame is stronger than a bulletproof vest. so james is having dreams which are vaguely murderous, and when he wakes up the events like kinda match up. turns out hes like having some repetitive dissociative episode every night at 12.37am and getting up to murder people. and after the first time reggie was just like 'well if ur in then im in too' and straight up helps him murder people ?!? i loved it. murder husbands.

the long game

250k and this is the most unique fic youll get here. modern high school au where reggie is like this god genius talented painter and they work on a musical set together, and reggie gets an art show and idk why this stood out to me but he drew like a green soft and a purple cushion and was like... this represents me and evan, cos were ok separately but great together. i read this so long ago i cant even remember what i thought of it

jealousy, jealousy

85k + unfinished again!! anyway so bartylus fake date so james and evan can get jealous and then they both end up together. i just remember it was so cute because they would just hug each other like constantly all the time, and cry at the smallest inconvenience, then their friend/boyfriend would go and lie with them in bed and hug them and that was like a very significant portion of it. and im not even complaining this is the type of physical affection they deserve

pathological people pleaser

114k but it passed so fast?!?! james is so fuckin unstable man like get a therapist. ok i actually enjoyed this so much because for some reason i was really into horror (it was literally 2 days ago) and this wasnt horror but they did not reveal like why james was so fucked, and which parts of his narration were unreliable until quite a bit in. also there was more than a month gap between me bookmarking this one and the last one and like i dont even know what i did with myself??? (actually i lied i read more fanfiction i just forgot i did cos i forgot to bookmark it) (summary: summer holiday where starchaser fall in love also effie died in a car crash on the way to james after he called and was like mom im gonna kms. ok but it was really well written and full of suspense)

anti-hero

237k and i just finished it so its fresh in my mind (for once) ok now that i think about it i have no idea why regulus lived that first time... maybe i didnt read closely enough but like when fics are that long i kinda just miss some stuff or forget it and they all blur together anyway. ok so firstly i want a story of james and regulus in this universe when they were still at hogwarts because like having a secret relationship for 2 years and also doing drugs.. just the hurt comfort ahhh maybe without all the hurt and yelling but whatever. cant have it all. anyway this was so well written i always like narcissa tbh. glad james and regulus sorted out their shit eventually even though it took so. fucking. long. anyway yikes (summary: reggie lives after the cave and they go horcrux hunting and kill voldy but then reggie fucks off to america and becomes a drug addict again but comes back, and james has anger issues but only when it comes to regulus anyway they kept hurting each other that i didnt even feel sad anymore when it happened) addition: oml reggie being an addict + nic in beautiful boy the stars aligned finally i get some visual scenes in this fandom

doing a word count sum of the above and its: 6 million and 476 thousand...

meetings that start in the dark

656k and oml i was SEMI HOOKED. honestly like why did it take them so fucking long to get back together like the moment Voldemort dropped dead James should have been unable to stay away from regulus. anyway love how they're obsessed with each other, love how Luna and Harry are playing matchmaker. and i especially love how Sirius was the lame embarrassing parent ahah. also the amount of bs evan has to put up with from reg and barty... jesus christ i loved them in this except for how he was buff girl no evan is a twink and this fic wont change my mind

sometimes, running away does solve all your problems

15k so reggie literally walks out of his house and his parents dont even notice and he runs away and meets james and they live together it was perfect omfg i loved it so so so much. it had the same sad, resigned tone as the dsmp fics that i was obsessed with before and would reread over and over. and the small village quiet life is a dream

27 club

27k and why was it so heavy oml like i didn't sign up for this sadness. ok so reggie is DEAD but before that he and James were like lovers and drug buddies but also lacked healthy communication. james is like bye imma get clean without u, the literal love of my life. the whole thing was so sad because it would be like one bit of 'oh and they were in love and making music' and then another bit of 'james was mourning so hard he couldnt get out of bed'. it was lowkey magical to read except for how hes dead.

you missed my heart

100k and omfg im in shock tbh. like what the actual fuck. I'm in shock in an "im unsettled and creeped out" way. i don't even know why because ive read serial killer jegulus fics before and it was all peachy, but maybe this one was so creepy because we were in the dark, and the killing isn't unrealistic and romanticised. James was so smitten with regulus too I'm crying i was actually convinced that reggie wasn't the killer. i need soft regulus fluff to cope with this. to erase the image of reggie being a psychopath. omg Sirius after finding out the truth.. poor boy was like catatonic. I'm never reading unhappy ending fics again I've become weak my heart can't take it

I'm going to start including the shorter fanfics that i read and are memorable as well because i don't discriminate

which means i have a lot of catching up to do

the moment and the sound

29k so james runs away with harry to escape voldemort and meets reggie by chance. they live together and james is like straight up depressed. i liked this fic but also forgot what it was like.

raise hell

30k it's basically about them being angels and demons and working together to idk stop the world from ending. i liked the tone of the fic in that everyone was like set in their ways and was like wtf at everyone else but also i wish it was longer and there was more about each person's like representation like Sirius being the angel of justice. also it was so funny regulus the angel of diligence and James the demon of lust.

blackpool

63k and omg it was so well written but i was so confused the whole time cos i have no literary ability. like regulus being a straight up unreliable narrator?!?! deadass in shock half the time reading this tbh

calm before the storm

51k and i could draw a graph of the shock factor of this fic and it would look like a staircase with 3 steps. at the start it was so happy and cute and i was like omg why did i click on this again and then sirius dies and james loses his memory and reggie is like fucked up that's the first step up and then they heal whatever but then reggie straight up starts murdering people and making a show out of it i read it all like 😳😳. unhinged fr, and also everyone tried to kts at least once like besties go see a therapist please

pink lemonade

121k band tour au where they sing (i think mostly) arctic monkeys songs and kudos because the lyrics all fit so well to whatever clown ass miscommunication situation jegulus have going on. it was relationship angst and maybe i would have enjoyed it more if i read it earlier but rn i need action and thrill. i was like to my irl friend like miscommunication angst isn't enough for me anymore i need murder and she was like girl wtf.

youngblood

75k basically jegulus were roommates in juvenile detection and they had such a deep soul connection in the 2 months and then never reconnected until like 9 years later. ok anyway my favourite part was James and how he was so unhinged. like literally provoking bullies so they hurt him is his form of sh... girl get a grip honestly but also respect for the idgaf factor

mercy

36k so james gets possessed by a ??demon called mercy and reg is an exorcist... so its very obvious what drew me into this. anyway james lives at regs house while hes figuring out what the fuck is wrong with him and they just ??? fall in love. ok slow burn was not really burning at all more like a ticking bomb but the horror was cute. also i found it at night and then read it all at like 8-9am in the morning before getting out of bed so i cant remember it but it was well written and the demon was lowkey cute too he was just out for drama which i can relate

[the-s1lly-corner]

Tim Wright fluff headcanons

-tim Wright obsessed 🙀 anon

Tim fluff headcannons!

WAHOO! finally going to try to get back into the swing of writing now that im no longer as sick (still fighting off the tail end of my horrid allergies, but otherwise im feeling good! hella tired though) might be a little all over the place//shorter than usual given that i have hardly written all week so my funky flow is all.... raaah! TToTT

i was going to say hes an early bird and sometimes he makes you breakfast, but honestly i can also see him sleeping in.. until the later hours of the morning/bordering on noon... also he doesnt look like a breakfast person. probably smokes and drinks a coffee in the mornings on the rare occasion he wakes up early... though perhaps he wakes up early on purpose to make you something on occasion? shrugs

looks like he can make a mean pancake tbh, cant explain why maybe its the admins envy seeping through because they struggle with pancakes/making pretty pancakes but-

enjoys quieter evenings with you. actually enjoys those calmer days in general. likes staying at home when he doesnt have work or other obligations, usually sitting on the couch letting himself just. relax and exist

i think he would be protective of you, even if this takes place post... everything.. hes lost so much and so much shit has happened and hes not about to have you add to that list. makes sure to check in on you and ask what you were up to while you were out, probably even lightly scolds/fusses over you if you somehow got hurt (from a simple scrape to anything broken).. probably keeps you in bed

but also... i can see him not totally babying you.. stern, but not overbearing if that makes sense?

sometimes melts into your hands if you cup his face, might give you a look if you mess around with his sideburns... doesnt pull away, though

sometimes lets you borrow his shirts, will not take any bs though if you decide to not return his possessions when he asks for them back (difference between you missing him/liking the piece and you not having any real intention to return his belongings)

isnt too terribly tall or short (for characters that are played by real people i tend to base their heights off the actor, looks like tim is roughly 5'7 according to google) so sharing clothes is a common enough occurrence if you're in his height range + dont have to worry about his clothes being extremely huge on you/hang off of you unless you're considerably shorter

... i do think he would offer to buy you matching clothes in your size if you want to match with him, though

i dont see tim being much of a ring guy... but if you guys want to have a matching thing to represent whatever (engagement, marriage, general matching for whatever, ect ect ect really any reason) then bracelets may be your go to ! though i can also see tim wearing a ring around his neck (with a chain, you know?) if you insist on keeping things in that vein more traditional (also admin just loves rings on chains)

[radicalhighway]

hey..... im not dead! apologies if i worried anyone. july has been a rough month for me mentally the past couple years or so. ill explain what happened under the cut bc it gets a little personal and a tad ventish. with that being said...

tl;dr: i needed a break bc i was having a bad mental health crash and only intended to be gone a week at most. then shit hits the fan, i blink, and its been a month. im back now, though!

so uh. as stated before, ive been experiencing rough mental health crashes in july the past couple years or so. i tend to act more dodgy and maybe a bit snippier than normal, im not sure why. i only intended to take a week off to recover, but life had other plans i suppose. i ended up getting real busy with changes at work, then got hit w/ the sick + period wombo combo, and if the universe didnt hate me enough already, i got hit with the sickening revelation that i really dont know who i am or what i want. ive been so detached for like 2 years or so at this point. im just cruising through life, letting everyone else decide what i should do next. i dont know my desires or dreams, i just. dont have any goals anymore. im lost, im stuck, im stagnating. i know people say its fine to not know what youre doing and to be lost, but. im genuinely stuck. i dont know what im doing. what i want from my life. who i am as a person. ive just been surviving these past few years and its just. so. exhausting. and discouraging. so im like. trying to discover myself, i guess. im not entirely sure how im going to go about that. all i know is im sick of this all encompassing feeling that im stagnating and permanent state of detachment. im tired of being alone. i want to right my wrongs if at all possible, i want to be better. i just... need to discover myself somehow. i guess.

anyway.

im back now. im very, very sorry for disappearing like that, it was wrong of me to not even update yall on if i was okay or not. im sorry i keep doing things like this. i promise though, this time was not intentional. life just threw some curve balls my way, and a month passed by before i even knew it. ill try my best to not let this happen again, at least not without some pop ins for updates to let yall know im okay.

as an end note. im a scared animal. the thought that theres long, angry messages awaiting me on discord is... discouraging. to say the least. so i may take a bit to work up the courage (and spoons) to face my consequences for my shitty habit and check discord. im also lowkey a little scared ppl are gonna leave me over this nasty ol habit. not to say it wouldnt be warranted, yall have every right to since its a shitty thing for me to keep doing but. still hurts even if deserved. i truly never seem to learn, huh? sick of being alone, but refusing to be vulnerable enough to allow people to help me… crazy.

thank you all for being patient with me, and thinking of me if you did.

cheers

[zyonsay]

Bartenders getting busy

Fem aligned people may read but not f3tishize my work!!

Summary: Scaramouche has something to confess

Warnings: Suggestive at the end, kinda cringe (its old, dont sue me)

Reader: Genderneutral

Now playing: "Too many nights" by metro boomin

AN: (Im taking my works off of Ao3, due to them being Zionists.)

ALSO this was based off of a dream i had.

“Well, hello there dear” , Childe grins your way. You just arrived at the Bar for your shift and already had enough of all those drunkards lingering around. “Hi there, how are you doing?”, you said as you put your bag down and rolled back the sleeves of your dress shirt. “Good, Good… I’ve missed you! How was your holiday?”. You went to Italy with your friend Xiao for two weeks, you really needed a break from work. “It was really nice! We had lots of yummy food.”, you exclaimed with a smile. “I’m glad to hear that!”

Suddenly your conversation was interrupted by a short man with purple hair “Stop the Smalltalk, Idiots.”, he said as he shoved Childe out of his way. He looks at you and simply says “I hope you had a nice vacation”, then continues walking to the storage room. Scaramouches’ facade was cold and unfriendly, but you know his last words were sincere. You really missed him, since he’s your best friend and you couldn’t take him along. He was sick for a week before you left and then didn’t want to miss work for another two weeks.

You were giving out a beer to a customer when suddenly Childe appeared behind you and put his head on your shoulder. “Im boooooreddddddd y/nnnnnn!”, he whined. You rolled your eyes at the ginger behind you. “Stop whining you little shit.” You were obviously joking, knowing that Childe won’t stop crying until his shift ends. From the other end of the Bar a certain someone is glaring daggers at Childe, jealous of the body contact he’s having with you.

Childe glances at Scaramouche and starts smirking while he pressed up against you a bit more. The purple haired man was fuming now, willing to rip Childe to shreds, at least if that’s what it took to get rid of him. Scaramouche marched toward you with angry steps, “Can we talk y/n?”, he said while eyeing Childe with a disgusted look. “Of course, Scara!”, you said with a gentle smile.

Scaramouche pulled you to the employees’ changing rooms by your wrist. He then suddenly stopped and faced you with a critical look. “Do you even have any idea why I wanted to talk to you?”. You thought about it for a second, but then looked at your friend with a questioning look. “You’re totally oblivious, aren’t you?”, he sighed, “Look, Childe is obviously flirting with you… And I have a problem with that.”, he paused shortly, “I know what kind of guy he is! He is not good for you, and I don’t want you to get your heart broken by a douche like him.” You were totally taken aback by his words and almost didn’t want to believe him. But you did. He was your best friend for a long time and even if he seemed mean, his intentions were always good.

“To be honest, I don’t really plan on ever getting together with Childe. To me he is just a good friend,” you said with a certain sincerity in your voice. You really didn’t mean to get romantically involved with Childe. Something was lingering at the back of Scaramouches’ mind, he tried his best to get rid of that thought, but it was pestering him like a parasite. You were already turning around to leave when he got a hold of your wrist again and whispered something along the lines of ‘wait’. He whirled you around and pulled you in. He embraced you in a soft kiss, closing his fierce eyes. Your vision went blurry and your mind blank, you kissed him back though. As you two parted, you stood in silence, still stunned by your friends’ bold action. Scaramouche softly smiled at you, “You know, I really like you. And... When Childe acts that way with you, I can’t help but get jealous.”, he paused longer than usual. You looked into his eyes, smiling too now. “I want… to be with you. I want to support you, i want to help you, i want to understand you. But not as a friend, I want to be more than that. I understand if you’re not ready for that, but I just-“ You interrupted his ramble and hugged him tightly. “I also want to be more than friends” You quietly mumbled into his neck. He hugged you back with great force, almost squeezing you to death. You broke the embrace but gave him a small peck on the lips. He grins at you with genuine joy.

You went back to your work, as to not piss off your boss by standing around in the back. You still had a very apparent smile on your face as you were tending to the customers. Childe poked your back in an annoying manner. “So now you have to tell me what you two talked about”, he peeped. You flash a smile towards one of the tables where Scaramouche was desperately trying to wipe a stain off. “You’ll eventually find out” The ginger behind you groaned dramatically and walked away.

Your shift ended at 2 am and you were exhausted from scrubbing, serving and mixing. Childe is still finishing up the last few bits behind the bar while you and Scaramouche were picking up your stuff from the changing rooms. He finished tying his shoes and closing his locker, as you were smiling at him. He looked up with a very present grin on his face. He got up and held you by your waist. “I was scared as fuck to confess to you, but I think it was worth it”, he murmured with a lovesick look on his face. He kissed you shortly, then grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the rear exit. You two left the bar and stepped into the dark night. A few barking dogs could be heard, and some club hoppers were chatting away on the side of the road. “Would you possibly wanna come to my place?” Scaramouche shot a mischievous grin your way. Your mind immediately went in the gutter and the only thing you could do was nod while desperately trying to hide your flushed face. You two got into Scaramouches car and fastened your seatbelt. As your companion was navigating through the city streets, he slowly moved his hand on your thigh. You put your hand over his and smirked at him, your cheeks looking rosy. “Desperate, are we?” He turned as red as a tomato at your words. “Absolutely.”

You two arrived at Scaras apartment, desperate to get in and do what you’ve been longing for all evening. He was fumbling with his keys as you two were passionately kissing, it felt as if flames were engulfing you both. When he finally unlocked the door and shut it behind, you were already laying on the couch nearby and started unbuttoning your dress shirt.

After throwing his bag on the floor, he immediately rushed over to you, wanting to help you get unclothed. He basically ripped your shirt off and then got to work on his own. You started unbuckling your belt and soon after began opening his too. You wanted to savor this experience because you were sure it was going to be amazing.

“Ready?”

[powertaco]

Vol 9 Spoiler Rant (aka I have waited and thought on it and still dont’ like it/Ranting ahead

I hate Volume 9

I’ll start by saying that upfront so you aren’t shocked or surprised by a conclusion later down the line, and can leave if the notion of disliking it offends you.

I don’t doubt I’ll get many blocks or people who disagree with this take, which is fair since I’m putting the opinion out there and should be able to take it on the chin or stand by it. 

This will contain spoilers for V9, my thoughts on a lot of things, ships, and what not so if you want to turn back now the back button is over yonder.

If it’s disjointed I apologize but I’m not feeling my best, and the longer I think about it the more I dislike it and I’m sick of pretending and being toxically positive about it.

First off I’ll get a few things out of the way as things I approve of. 

The animation has largely grown phenomenally. There’s a few moments that are a little out of it (yo why you got a 3 foot neck Weiss?), but for the most part considering where we came from in the bass on the wall days of Volume 1. Big win here. 

The music. Good work Casey. Red Like Roses 3 is a banger, inside is great, and checkmate is…something. Overall good stuff. 

VA work. Good deal. Rob nails his ‘surprise’ villain as he always nails his roles but people seem to be putting their all into it. No hate here, and these guys clearly brought their A game. Good work!

This volume as a whole is very middling to me, bordering on bad depending on if or how V10 recontextualizes things that happened, which I will try to go into later. 

Essentially if you were a big fan of Bees this might be one of your favorites, but if you’re just kinda neutral to them like me then the volume didn’t have a lot to offer you and didn’t do much to really move the story forward.

Remember when Ambro said don’t fall in V8 like it was a big ominous thing, and remember how it ended up being almost entirely beneficial? Yeah so V9 was like that. Setting up stuff for an instant week to week payoff regardless of if it hurt the story or not cause we need that interest spiked to greenlight V10. 

For a Volume that took so long to make the entire thing is remarkably rushed. 

Why do Ruby and Weiss talk so little? Serious question. Even if you don’t ship them they’re supposed to be canon best friends, and yet they share almost as many lines together in the last few seasons as they do with Ren. In case you were wondering that’s not many. 

We had a reduced cast of characters and almost none of them can actually be bothered to interact meaningfully.

Why does Weiss and everyone keep ditching Ruby except Little? Ruby has a basically perfect assassin after her, and in the market everyone ditches her cause of nose hairs. 

But what can they do against Neo? Nothing, but they could maybe point her out, or talk and help distract her rather than leaving her to her own devices when she’s clearly not feeling well. 

Sometimes having someone there for you can help a lot, but instead we need to have Weiss backslide and the others abandon her so she can be alone to meet the smith. 

This is bad writing. I’m sorry but it is. Had this been Volume 1-3 Weiss? Sure I could buy this, but this is not that Weiss. If you need to have Ruby be alone to meet the smith, work harder. You had years for this. This would have gotten a C at best in a writing class with a see me after class/don’t keep using coincidences like this note attached to it. 

If you’re going to tell me I’m not a professional writer so I can’t critique then that’s asinine. I don’t drive trucks for a living but if I see one ramp off a cliff and into a pit I can tell you that, that guy/gal has messed up.

If Weiss wanted to help cheer on or try to get Bees together then that’s an even worse reason as the aforementioned ASSASSIN is after her partner.

“Oh but Neo wouldn’t attack in a busy market!” My guy do you know Neo “i live only to murder this woman’ AT ALL? There’s an amusing quote I can ascribe to her actions “i will kill as many people as I have to as long as you are one of them!” 

There was a reason the meme, ‘squads that would treat Ruby better’ was going around through volume 9 and even included pictures of villains. 

Blake and Ruby never talk outside of that one scene in V8, and Yang has focused way more on Blake and way less on being a sister. 

I’ve seen people defend her actions as being a target for her sister’s actions when she steps in front of Blake, but please note Yang just let her yell at Weiss and did nothing, until she starts yelling at Blake. 

Yeah, no I’m sorry she lets her have a go at Weiss and then when her girlfriend is getting her feefees hurt then she steps in. Her talking to her sister after the hound was nice (but again prob would have been a decent Weiss moment)

That’s bullshit. Had Yang stepped in or tried to when she was talking to Weiss then I could buy this, but as is it’s just another thing to hold against her. 

The bees eat a lot of screentime. If you’re a bee fan this is great. If you want story progression, this is not. 

The world bends and revolves around them very literally. We need to have a confession bridge show up so they can confess but we can’t get a ‘you have to talk about what’s bothering you’ camp you can’t leave until you talk things out for Ruby?

What are the rules of ever after? Basically w/e so the only reason Ruby can’t get that is cause well we want a breakdown. Again great writing. 

But let’s talk about it. Ruby has a breakdown. She complains there’s no time for her. It’s tragic because she’s put a lot of stuff on her own shoulders and internalized it. 

Good acting here, even from Jaune. 

Weiss puts out a hand and she flies away. 

When our heroes next see her she’s drank suicide tea. You can claim after the fact that ascension isn’t that (but i’m sorry that’s how it’s framed and the whole zooming into Yang’s eye thing is explicitly treated like it’s meant to be a big deal and get people talking)

Tragic truly, but you know what she believes in herself now, and now she’s all better. Her depression and desire to die are gone. I don’t know how it helps with Salem, as I’d be willing to bet Summer also believed in herself but it didn’t seem to help her much. If they go more into this in V10 I will retract this and accept it but I’m not in the mood to be forgiving to them atm.

Also again right after Ruby ‘kills’ herself they stop to help Jaune…just I’m sorry what?

Jaune still takes up too much time and serves a role that’s almost not needed and I don’t even hate or dislike him. His interesting development is stripped away at the end. 

By deaging Jaune now they can’t explain where they were with any real proof. A few scroll pics of a weird cat thing isn’t going to cut it. 

He has a few gray stripes and will likely go back to acting like he normally does and other than Nora ragging him about them once or twice will likely not be mentioned again. He may on occasion get to say something ‘wise’ but I’m doubting it since he went back to being the same almost right away. 

So rather than an aged, mature, and slightly damaged man going back and having to relate to his friends/people he knew he’s the same. Awesome development. 

Plus side is that now that deaging is canon DWR can still win! Anyway he takes entirely too much focus away. 

Ruby complains about how they have no time cause they have to help Jaune, and what do they do almost instantly after she ‘kills’ herself? Stop and help Jaune. It’s tonal whiplash. 

I get that JNPR are supposed to be deuteragonist but holy hell almost all the time goes to Jaune who is by far the least interesting of the bunch imo even with all the time dumped into him. 

Can we get more Ren and Nora? This could have been a good way for Nora to ‘learn’ who she is without Ren. 

If Nora had fallen(say off her hammer into the void at the start from Cinder during the scuffle with Penny in the air) and they met a wizened Nora who tried to act chipper but was clearly putting up a front it would be a great foil/combo with Ruby. 

It would also make her reuniting with Ren and being ready for a relationship in the next volume all the sweeter. 

We spend an episode on the red prince. Neat. You know what would have been better for it? Almost anything else, say perhaps after Ruby’s ‘suicide’ they spend a few frantic minutes trying to get to the tree until they see the reincarnated paper pleasers and then are like oh, ok so she’ll prob come back/be alright instead of just ‘we did what we can’. 

Girl I love you Weiss but you all did jack shit. You made one half hearted effort and stopped, and then every time Ruby might have gotten to talk they needed to help Jaune or something interrupted. 

Good work being the best partner ever by the way especially when Ruby spends a large portion of the volume helping you with all your problems and rushing to your side without a bit of hesitation and in return you muster up…about nothing. 

They did it in genlock and did it twice in this volume and arguably with Penny/Vine last volume. “Suicide is great!” Please stop doing this. 

Speaking of Penny if you like her you might want to get CRWBY to be pallbearers at your funeral so they can let you down one last time. 

If you liked Nuts’ and Dolts even more condolences. They’d have many chances to imply deeper feelings than friendship between them and take none of them. Her farewell song is called Friend where she talks about being friends with Ruby. 

During the fight with her clones, the Penny clone never once says she loves her. This is Neo, mouse killer and person with the largest hateboner for Ruby in the show. 

She is twisting the knife as much as she can so you can bet if she thought there was even an inkling there was more than friendly feelings between them she’d have had the clone say she loved her just to do that little bit more mental damage, but she didn’t. 

If there was ever a time to bring it up to put her off balance it was now. Neo is under no pressure and has no reason to not do so, so it basically sinks the ship. Well more than her being dead already does. 

I swear to god if they go to Vacuo and Pietro is in a coma or dead and there’s a new Penny I’m going to call Akira Toriyama and tell him RWBY is aping Dragon Ball because there’s no stakes in life or death anymore. 

Oh right, speaking of Neo she’s pretty ok until the end where she decides she’s cool with Ruby, gets to get the kill on the cat and then just bows out and leaves, and everyone is…strangely cool with that. 

Ascension or not I’m just struggling to think that any of them should just want her to essentially get away scot free. This woman tried to kill Ruby or get her to commit suicide and killed Little and we’re cool with letting her go because she killed the cat who was no longer a threat to them and did a hat doff? Um…yeah sure. I bet Yang is ok with people almost killing her sister, Weiss her best friend, etc. Then again maybe these versions of the characters are. 

I don’t care much about how ascension will change her; she's paid for nothing she’s done. “Get your revenge and you’ll get it and still get away scoTt free’. Ok last of us two. 

I can not overstate how pointless the suicide feels. 

It feels like they wanted her to do it, but have it not ‘take’ or have consequences because they’re in ever after and can say ‘hey the ascension thing fixes it’. 

Look, I'm glad the bees got together. Really I’m happy for you, but if you take out the Bee stuff, and the pining you’re left with a threadbare story that is only barely there since it’s all resolved in about five minutes. 

We all deserve better than that. The characters deserve better than that. 

I could keep going as this just scratches the surface level but it’s pissing me off to keep thinking about it. 

[moonshine-nightlight]

Being sick for the past week meant that I had nothing better to do today than lay in bed and refresh tumblr waiting for chapter 34, and seeing it at the very top of my dash was the highlight of my day! The wait was definitely worth it, my health for the duration notwithstanding lol

SPOILER WARNING FOR PAST CHAPTERS IDK HOW TO PUT READ MORES IN ASKS I'M SO SORRY

You made the right call taking the extra time to edit this doozy of a chapter—figuring out how to share Dale's exposition in a way that made sense and fit into the events of the story while maintaining tonal consistency must have been quite the process, between the restrictions of Sana's POV, regency genre conventions, and the story's (heh) natural climax being Dale's identity "reveal" followed by the wedding. I'm very curious if you currently have any ideas for how you're going to tackle this exposition in the novelization, or if you're inclined to handle it differently at all!

@weasellyferret

i hope you're feeling better! i'm so glad you enjoyed the new chapter!

i hav no idea if u can even put a read more in an ask anymore and i can't hide it now but my answer will be under the read more

thanks! i think some people really underestimate how helpful even self editing is to make things coherent, especially for a long chapter like this one that covered so much but also was literally just two ppl talking to each other (ppl lov to say they'll take any update, but lik, thats cuz they dont knooow lol and i dont just want it to b passable, i want it to b good).

with lore/backstory like this i also have to make sure it makes sense to readers who havent read any of it before nor know any of the even more info that I know because there's even more worldbuilding and dale backstory that wont end up in the story.

i'm glad u think i pulled it off to any degree because i was still pretty nervous when i was posting it that it did make sense, fit in the world, was followable, interesting but not just exposition monologue, etc

yeah, chapter 30 where they have the reveal convo is the primary climax of the story and that's also 'just talking' in a sense so its interesting to write this story in that sense lol

while i had the broad outline of the world and dale's backstory from the beginning (i did a little exercise where i sketched out a sort of Dale POV of chapter 6 to get into his mindset which was super helpful) as I wrote the story a lot more of that info became fully fleshed out/defined. so for the novelization, i'll probably try to work more of the info in earlier or have better allusions to it, which will make some of the info in chapter 34 more of a quick confirmation than the exposition itself

ie i might add a chapter with more detail on Sana researching with Dale's books that Bilmont smuggles and plant suspicions of what went wrong with the summoning; i might adjust the chapter after the attack to be more of a convo about the assassination that the grandparents interrupt where Sana can suspect more of Dale's past etc and generally spread out what i can so its more foreshadowed/natural - things like that

other aspects sort of have to be told to Sana because its POV limited, evn when it is updated to 3rd POV. i'll probably do a straight POV swap and minor edit ; then take a look at it as a whole, reassess things on my own, run those ideas by some writer friends/betas and get their thoughts, and finally my editors (who i used for DSM) are also very good with making sure worldbuilding fits in right and so their advice will be helpful - especially since they will only get the draft i giv them without knowing how it was and what changed etc

once chapter 35 is out (which i'm still writing because smut is a challenge to right and i write it more slowly than other things) i'll start slowly editing and passing along to betas the rest of the story (i've got thru chap 11 done and betas who only read those and who are chomping at the bit - u think u've had a long wait? lol) but it will be spring by the time i do any big edits/revisions and then i'll giv it to the editors, who i already lik, semi-lined up for that time period and idk how long they will take because its a long book and then i'll need to process their edits too so it'll be a lengthy process, but i hope everyone knows it will 100% b a novel and i hope they enjoy it!

now back to stabbing away at the smut writing ;)