#i dont think ive seem him since he was like 7 or 8

[90th1k1k0m0r1]

saw my favorite aunt and cousins today!!

[partycatty]

how many donuts can you stack on it

i feel like ive got this down to a science.

warnings: describing fictional characters' peanits in length.

notes: this is what i come back with to post (1 donut = 1 inch)

[ masterlist ]

liu kang > he's got a bioweapon in motion and form, truly. it's so big and thick you might actually die if you try to take it all. 9 donuts. he'll let you do anything to it, silly or not, if it makes you crack a hungry grin like you did when you counted.

bi-han > idk i feel like its not that big, but it's got good thickness.... 4 and a half donuts. finds it stupid, won't agree to putting donuts on it at first, but gives in just so you'll stop. he's embarrassed.

kuai liang > husband length. humble but knows he can get the job done... thinks he could be bigger but you dont complain. 6 donuts. he's too kind and sweet to really have a problem with it.

johnny cage > he thought he'd be able to fit more donuts... not that the current amount is small. 7 and a half donuts. he might try and cram that second half in, but it falls off and splats on the ground.

kenshi takahashi > confident but quiet about it, the donuts don't stop stacking even when you think you couldn't fit another. 9 donuts. expected it, not surprised, but chuckles dryly at your little gasp.

kung lao > tried it on himself before you even got the chance to ask. 7 donuts after trying multiple times at home. lies and says it was nine donuts when he tried it at home...

raiden > nobody expects it from him, since it's not on the forefront of his mind like his bestie... 9 donuts. just thought everyone could fit that many no problem. you had to explain that he's massive.

rain > doesn't talk about it because there isn't really much to say... 5 donuts. (why doesn't he have a personality ever)

tomas vrbada > you just... kept going.... and before you knew it, 8 and a half donuts sat pretty hugging him as he smiles in delight. at first he didn't get your vision, but seeing the shock on your face was more than enough.

baraka > afraid of showing it, tarkat enhanced... all of his features. nearly a baker's dozen, 10 donuts fit with no problem. he growls to himself, adjusting his hips. maybe his condition had a perk.

geras > won't really get why you want donuts on it... but will entertain your ridiculousness. he stands stock still and firm when you put a whopping ten and a half donuts on him. he raises a brow, wondering what the point was.

syzoth > his tongue flicks in curiosity as you try to balance the donuts on both, squeezing a whopping 14 donuts combined! he grins in satisfaction, wondering how many donuts his true form could hold.

havik > it fell off. 0 donut.

shao > shitting your pants when you put the entire dozen onto it, and still have some wiggle room. shao remains unimpressed but silently pleased with his thickness and length as it balances the treats.

shang tsung > it's cute. 5 donuts was his max, but he seems smug about it. he knows you'll take him either way, and the thought makes him smirk.

reiko > 7 and a half donuts stops him short but he just laughs loudly with his hands on his hips. asks if you're impressed, and then offers for you to eat the donuts right off of him.

ermac > ....would ermac have millions of dicks? or just one in his physical manifestation? how many donuts is that...? you'll be there for a while.

[musicoftheheart]

oh my gosh okay so I wanna ask about all ur wips honestly but that kind of defeats the purpose soooooooo

4,7,8,14

4 because it sounds really ominous, 7 because the title makes me think someone (probably james) freaks out every time someone else (probably regulus) speaks french and a third person (probably sirius) thinks hes having an allergic reaction, 8 because this sounds like a sequel to hold me tight (and never let me go)??? and I have been loving that fic so far and cant wait for you to finish it (but no pressure, take ur time of course), and 14 because thats funny as shit

also, I remember you saying a while ago you might write a snooker au? is that happening? (again no pressure, I just wondered if u forgot to list it since you mentioned having brain fog recently (which is a cool name for it btw and I will be using it in future))

hi!! thanks for asking! <33

so ive covered a couple of these in another ask, so ill only sum them up here (you still get rambled at though dw <3)

4. dont walk too close

so! as i said in another ask, this is a fic following sirius (and regulus, later) starting hogwarts as walburga’s obedient heir, only to end up in gryffindor and learning that life isnt quite the way he’d been taught. his revelations and his sorting end up causing tension at home in the yule holidays, and a series of events end up with regulus in gryffindor too. im sure we can all imagine how that one goes. i posted a snippet in the other ask here

7. french epi fic

HA okay i love your guess, but— well, actually, youre closer to the truth than you might’ve thought. sort of.

regulus has just escaped his parents’ clutches and moves across from france to the one place he hoped he might be welcome: sirius’ home in england. its set in yorkshire, because thats where i grew up before i had to move away, and i miss it :( regulus’ english is poor as it is, but meeting sirius’ ridiculously attractive housemate, james potter, muddles his brain enough where the few basic greetings he knew were gone

james has epilepsy (thats where the ‘epi’ in the title comes from), remus gets them all free donuts, and sirius refuses to flirt on behalf of either james or regulus with the other. its chaos, its fun, and im enjoying it so far despite only being a few thousand words in. here’s a snippet:

Regulus slowly set his eyes back on the house. “It’s so big.”

Seeming to finally catch up on Regulus’ surprise, Sirius explained, “Effie and Monty helped us get on our feet, but with what Alphard left…”

”Mon dieu,” he breathed. But this time, it wasn’t at the house. It was at the man stepping out of it.

Stood at the front door, one hand shielding his eyes from the sun that had emerged from behind the rain clouds, was the most beautiful man Regulus had ever laid his gaze upon. His dark brown hair was tussled in a mess of curls on his head, but almost like it was purposefully messy rather than just uncontrollable. Round golden glasses sat upon his bronze skin, framing his chocolatey eyes perfectly, and a wide grin pulled at his mouth and revealed a little dimple on his left cheek.

When Regulus was eventually able to tear his eyes from the man’s face, his breath caught again at the sight of the rest of him. He clearly worked out, if the muscles making his t-shit stretch were anything to go by, but he wasn’t tall — perhaps only a couple of inches larger than Regulus himself, and he reached only a measly 5’7. Something shining in the sun caught Regulus’ eye, and he saw a thin metal bracelet on one of the man’s wrists.

”Hey, James!” Sirius called, climbing out of the car and snapping Regulus out of his trance. He’d made it to the boot to pull Regulus’ suitcase out before Regulus had even managed to open the passenger door.

”Padfoot!” James called with just as much enthusiasm — that was, far too much considering they lived together and had presumably seen each other just a few hours ago before Sirius had left to pick Regulus up. “And mini Pads!” he added, spotting Regulus finally getting out of the car.

Regulus shot him a swift glare for that nickname. He may be cute, but looks could only get him so far.

8. the warmth of your arms rivals the sun (its burning out)

this is another ive covered in another ask but i love it so im still gonna talk about it. youre exactly right, by the way — it is a hmt sequel! i guess the naming conventions were similar enough ahaha. its very james-centric with background storylines, and focuses on much heavier themes than those in hmt. i wont go into what they are, but anyone who was around during chapter… four? five? i dont remember, but it was early on. i added some tags, then took them away once i decided id split it into two parts. if anyone remembers those tags, that’s what twoya will cover :))

14. sirius is actually helpful for once wtf

this is planned to be a shorter fic, but still multi chapter. its pretty much just sirius shipping jegulus and doing everything he can to get his two favourite people together :) not written yet, but ive got a fair bit planned so far

bonus: snooker au

okay so, i would love to say i’ve worked on this some more since then but… i haven’t :( i really want to, but i want to do it well, which i know will take a lot of time. but, the details i have so far:

its the snooker world championships. regulus black’s first, but james potter’s third. sirius black — former world champion — is the estranged brother of the newbie regulus black, and the mentor and best friend of james potter, who was second place two years ago, but couldnt compete last year due to an unrelated injury, though healed up now. james, of course, is head over heels for regulus. regulus, of course, pretends hes not pining madly for the boy who stole his brother. sirius, of course, pretends hes not offended or hurt that regulus wont even try to fix their relationship. he also just happens to be stealing glances at remus lupin, who came fourth last year and seemed rather close to regulus. theyre all hopeless, and determined to win.

thanks for your ask! <33

[chihirolovebot]

and so it is possible to evaluate the attitude of other participants in the game of a physicist from one to ten? I'm terribly interested in the relationship of physics and maki.

i THINK i understand what this means but if ive gotten it wrong just . shoot me another message clarifying and i'll redo it . i believe ur asking me to rate how the other participants feel about physicist on a scale of 1-10 ? let's say 1 is enemies and 10 is their closest friends.

i'll start with physicist's weakest relationships and work my way up to their strongest !

shinguji — 1/10, not really any friendship built before the incident where shinguji tried to murder phys; likewise, phys always felt vaguely distrustful and creeped out by kiyo even before the incident. a very safe last place.

yonaga — 3/10, one of the only characters physicist has had a real, longstanding problem with. phys is generally pretty passive, but yonaga definitely managed to piss them off by brainwashing kiibo and trying to control the student population. i don't think yonaga had any grudge against phys personally, though.

shirogane — 4/10, phys seems very neutral and sometimes irritated by shirogane. throughout the story, shirogane is rarely seen standing up for physicist, generally quick to believe they are guilty when accused.

houshi — 5/10. i don't think physicist ever had any sort of problem with houshi, they simply didn't know him well enough before he died to really feel close to him. i think they would get on if they had more time to spend together.

yumeno — 5/10. again, physicist is mostly neutral on yumeno, but their opinions on her probably skew a bit more positively than shirogane. yumeno has definitely earned sympathy points from physicist and has moments where she tries to believe in physicist's innocence.

gokuhara — 6/10. we're starting to move onto people physicist likes now. gokuhara is ranked low because i wouldn't consider himself and physicist to have a very deep relationship beyond generally liking each other, though. their relationship was definitely tainted by chapter five, too. i think gokuhara only cared for phys as much as he did all the other students, and physicist liked him well enough and felt it hard when he died.

iruma — 6/10 physicist tends to think iruma is a little much, but they definitely appreciate her as a scientist. iruma is a coward, so she's for sure very jumpy and paranoid around phys after they kill korekiyo, but killing game circumstances nonwithstanding i think they'd be pretty good friends.

akamatsu — 6/10, akamatsu was definitely super important in physicist's early development, i think she gave physicist a lot of hope and she would be remembered a lot more fondly by physicist if she hadn't murdered amami and started the killing game.

harukawa — 6/10, an interesting relationship for sure !! they start out in a super rocky place with harukawa accusing physicist of amami's murder and being stubborn when confronted with reason, and physicist disliking her because of it. there's a lot of shaky points for them, but i think they've both grown to a place of mutual respect. they may not ever be close friends, especially in the killing game, but they've learned to appreciate the other at the very least.

momota — 6/10. a source of strength for physicist, although their philosophies dont always align. their relationship is weakened a little by momota refusing to see physicist's agency in their relationship with ouma.

toujo — 7/10. ranked a little lower for the whole uhhh toujo considering killing physicist and trying to throw them under the bus about it thing. but pre-ch2 they were very close. i think phys is the closest anyone got to seeing toujo as a person, and toujo genuinely cared for and respected phys a lot.

chabashira — 8/10. another relationship that needed a lot of time to evolve. chabashira and phys didn't really interact meaningfully until chabashira discovered them after killing kiyo and helped cover it up. since then they've grown incredibly close, something of a result of chabashira being the only one to see phys like that, and continuing to have faith in them. one of the only people to see the real phys, i think.

saihara — 8/10. these two have a more subtle relationship i guess, but still extremely close. saihara believes in phys a lot, not just because of his detective's intuition, and they mean a lot to him. both of them care for the other deeply, and beyond that, want to be cared for by the other. they each find comfort in talking about their grief and regrets, and have near-unwavering faith in the other.

amami — 8/10. only isn't a 9 because of his secrecy and the amount of stuff physicist doesn't know about him, but needless to say amami very much acted as physicist's rock in chapter one and that losing him in such a brutal way damaged them to their core. amami, in turn, adored physicist in a sorta big-brother way, felt pretty protective of them. i think it said a lot that he told them he'd come find them first after ending the killing game? he grew to feel pretty close and protective to them in the short time they had together. physicist constantly looks to his memory for advice on what to do when they're struggling.

ouma — 9/10. this bastard. he's so high up because he probably knows phys better than anyone else, and the same goes for phys knowing him. phys is closer to him than anyone in canon ever got, and although they've had a very very rocky journey they both harbour indisputable respect for the other. there's something so intimate abt their knowledge about each other, the way they know the exact things the other wants to keep hidden the most. he's ranked a point lower than a ten because of his obsessive paranoia and trust issues, and also his struggle to get over phys killing kiyo and using them in his plan to kill iruma and gokuhara.

kiibo — 10/10. u may question this ranking when thinking about the recent distance between them but i raise you . in regards to each other , everything phys and kiibo have done is a result of extenuating circumstances and not their own actions. phys only allowed iruma to be killed because they believed the world is virtual and iruma wouldn't actually be dying, and only distances him because they can't tell anyone at all about the plan to catch the mastermind. circumstances nonwithstanding, physicist and kiibo love each other. they are best friends, they trust the other wholeheartedly, always the first to jump to the other's defence. kiibo's faith in physicist is incredibly stubborn at times because he knows who they are deep down, and the same for physicist. anyway. they mean everything to me :3

[miraculousmultifan]

Hi same anon! There also is some pole dancing talk in the smoshmouth ep 👀. I was surprised too that he wasn't in the beopardy but not really at the same time? Maybe I'm talking out of my ass but sometimes it seems like they're allergic of Chanse being in the smosh pit miscellaneous videos, meaning not eioyi, tntl and reddit stories. I just checked and between dec 7th(culinary crimes) and today he has been in 3 videos(pit theatre, ramen mukbang and challenge pit) compared to Angela's 8, Amanda's 7 and Arasha's 6. Thank god for the games channel where he's more regular.

THAT POLE DANCING VIDEO IS MY ROMAN EMPIRE!! like it was one of the first videos i showed my bestie bc i NEEDED her to see shayne fucking working that pole. it was both surprising and totally not but i think about it ALL THE TIME

AND NO BC YOURE ACTUALLY SO RIGHT! i didnt FULLY notice until you pointed it out but he really isnt in any other smosh pit stuff. (and tbf i was TOTALLY blanking on any other shows that are on smosh pit besides tntl, reddit stories, and pit theatre so thank you for mentioning them)

also!! bc in the staring contest livestream spencer revealed that shayne and courtney recorded a new tntl trivial pursuit, i REALLY want to see chanse on that show since i dont believe hes been on it yet. i mean id love to see him and angela or him and shayne be silly goofy because i personally think hes one of the funniest people on the cast (a hard feat considering theyre all INSANELY talented and hilarious)

anyway ive been yap yap yapping for so long so if you read all of this you get a treat! presenting: my favorite shayne photos from his beard era (these ones are from the mind meld squad challenge video)

[odysseys-blood]

then, can you give us a list of games you recommend?

i sure can thank u for asking! i'll try to make it a bit more brief but under my top 4 i'll add a readmore with a longer list in case u wana read that and not the like. Odysseys Blood Introductory Game Pack.

so starting with the top picks:

1. The World Ends With You

i think a lot of people have a similar feeling about this game. you play as neku, recently deceased kid with no memories no friends and a whole lot of attitude and your main goal is to survive the reaper's game for 7 days to get a chance at living again. he trusts no one and believes in nothing but himself and being an extremely depressed middle schooler, i related to him but watching the way he changes over time and learns to open himself up. its kind of an eye-opener and i've seen the same though echoed through a lot of different people like me who wanted to really give up but this game does take you by the hand and oush you to try again. make connections. live and whileit may be a struggle its alright because you always have the option to keep going. also the ost is AMAZING and the art style is very unique and the story and characters captivate you so well. idk where id be without this game honestly. preferably if you do want to play its best to play the og on a ds (can be done w/ a hacked one) but if not its on switch and theres a sequel! which is ok but its not as great as original twewy

2. Tales of the Abyss

ToA (or tota as most ppl tag it but i stick with toa to match the tags for other tales games. which are also good esp vesperia i just wont add it to this list bc its already gonna be a long one). what stood out to me a lot with this game besides the main cast who i love to bits, is its theme on religion actually. when i first played toa i was still in the church and the main theme of religion in toa can be boiled down to devotion is all fine and good, but don't let it rule your life. the fate that is written out for you doesn't rule you, you make your own choices. even if they seem futile, you still don't have to take your fate sitting down you can kick and scream and fight as much as you want towards another path if that truly is what you desire. and that resonated with me heavily. this one's a little more crunchy looking from its age but i still really like the graphics (and i played on 3ds lol) and the environments in tales games are all so stellar its such a good game. and oh my GOD the party interactions. tales games usually do really good at having main casts that are "6-8 people who have no business being stuck together but they are anyways" and i think the part for this one will always be my favorite. also last little bit but theres so much about identity in toa as well and the way the main character, luke, is written with his own struggles about feeling like his own person has gripped me to this day. ive heard this one is hard to find a physical copy of but like. again shoot me a message if u have a hacked 3ds

3. AI: The Somnium Files

i've been here since day ONE (not exactly but theres a youtube page for one of the characters they were using to drop some info before the game released and i was watching while that was still going so. close enough). i am obsessed with aitsf. my icon is even the main character (edited a bit and w/ stickers). this game doesn't have combat like the first to and is strictly a visual novel and i adore the way it explores the central theme of love, especially familial love and its many shapes and forms and how sometimes even through blood it just doesnt. exist. but that doesnt mean you dont deserve love. someone will be there to give it to you and if not you take it however you can. this is much more apparent in the left half of the game which to this day has made the mizuki route my favorite. this one's eveywhere (playstation, steam, switch) and goes on sale frequently on steam for like $7. this one also has a sequel which is pretty good but again i think the original is much better

4. Heaven Will Be Mine

honestly with how many people i see daily gushing over poetry and writing im surprised more dont play hwbm. its a space mecha visual novel set in the aftermath of a war where earth sent children to go fight an existential threat which may not have even existed and now all of those kids are adults who have grown up without the shackles of society on the earth which js funny enough, finally calling for them to come back. the writing is beautiful and fun to pick apart and if you're a fan of prose i definitely think you should give this one a try. double of you're lgbt in any way this game is good for its writing about queerness especially if you're trans. please play hwbm. this one's on steam and doesnt have a sequel game but the devs, worst girl games, also made We Know The Devil which i like less than hwbm but its still pretty good! that ones got gay religious trauma

continuing is just a list of more i like in no specific order. some of these may be a bit cringey but i like fun

Witch's Heart

listen i know theres some strange bias some ppl have gainst rpgmaker pixel games but like. 1) odd but ok 2) witch's heart is such a beatiful story i need you to throw whatever biases you may have abt pixel games RIGHT NOW. my header text comes from this game. it means everything to me. do you have a wish you would kill for? does your wish mean more to you than another's? how much will you let your selfishness control you. for a game that looks so silly it made me cry a lot. this one's free on vgperson's translated game list and theres still MORE BEING MADE. SO MUCH GAME. FOR FREE. LOOK AT ME. ITS FREE. and heartwrenching.

To The Moon/Finding Paradise/ Impostor Factory

this description is short but similarly a pixel game like the previous rec. its more understandably heavy considering you play as eva and neil who fulfill the wishes of the dying in their dreams. its sad. i cried. i cry a lot dont i? these r on steam

Just Shapes and Beats

a rhythm game this time! it's got a cute little story mode but it is just a dubstep rhythm bullet hell i like playing. did you know i was a dubstep fan in middle school well now you do and im sad skrillex is mid now. its on steam and switch. not a good pick however if you are sensitive to flashing lights or have epilepsy im sorry. i believe there are safe modes but i havent tested them myself to see how well they work

Paranormasight

paranormasight is a horror visual novel illustrated by gen kobayashi who, if you can tell from the linework on the sprites and in the portraits and what have you, illustrated for twewy. i'll be real i was ready to screan and cry 30 minutes in but its not actually that scary im just a wimp. this one could be seen in a similar vein with witch's heart in the idea of: what would you do to fulfill your greatest wish. how many people would you kill. because you will be killing. on steam and switch.

Bustafellows

for being an otome bustafellows rly got me. while being an otome it is still plenty silly but heavy with fun characters. also i think this is the first time ive really liked an otome mc they tend to be very waify and kinda annoyingly written tbh but teuta is a VERY fun character and not at all a stand in for a self insert. or at least she isnt good at being a self insert which is fine to me because i love a main character that has their own personality. a guy dies like 10 minutes in. this ones on steam

Mamiya

i seem to like a lot of visual novel games with time loops and dead main characters and this is another one. very dark but i love it to bits. also this one requires a warning list i haven't seen anywhere but i made one myself here. its on steam

IVE RUN OUT OF PICTURES. SO I CANT ADD ANYMORE BUT QUICK LIST YOU'LL HAVE TO LOOK UP MORE OR JUST ASK ME ABT ANY OF THESE:

Lethal League Blaze

Hatoful Boyfriend

Fallen Hero: Rebirth (and its sequel Retribution)

Code Vein

shout out also to What in Hell is Bad. not for kids at all this one is explicitly 18+ but for being a goofy eroge otome it has. gripped my by the nuts and it has not let go. ive only been playing like a month help.

[aamethyst000]

Feeling more productive, everyday (May 6,24 - 7:19pm)

Ever since i bought this laptop, i have been noticing that i am a little more productive in the house hold. i'm getting up a lot more easier to do my chores (altough i'm still bitchy about it but i'm still doing said chores while being bitchy about it lmao), i actually drew something on my laptop! not to mention i am actually cooking dinner on time......ish. its still better than starting at 9pm to finally cook dinner. Anyway, my litlle brother and i are going tp head up to the store in a bit to grab some ingredients and snacks for tonight. i am making meat loaf and rice tonight!~ I do want to mention, that i am still struggling with my sleep schedule, going to bed at 4-5 in the morning, then getting up at 2-3 the next day, rinse and repeat. i dont know how i'm still functioning right now. At the moment, i'm running on 2 cups of coffee and one meal, i call that a win in my book. I'm still debating on whether or not i really want to buy the boox palma when i can do the exact same thing on my phone, just with a different screen and no texting. The boox palma runs on android, thank god. I think that why i want it so much, is to have a seperate device to read on. now that i have a different device to write my journals in.

8:17pm - my little brother and i just got home from the store, now i am going to start cooking our dinner tonight and watch some shera on netflix! then i think im going to play conkers bad fur day after supper <3

9:37pm - Dinner is almost done and i washed a few plate n forks that we need, now i am just watching shera while dinner is cooking. i'm on my third cup of coffee and i have been yelled at by my uncles cat ever since i came back from the store, poor thing lmao he just wants my attention. only in my room though, it doesnt seem to be the same im im in the kitchen or in the living room. it doesnt make sense to me but it does to the kitty, so i try not to fight with him, its hard to do so when i have stuff to do throughout the day. My kitty was the same way ysterday, all clingy and shit, not that i minded, i really love it when they are like that. it cheers me up.

honestly though, this feels so much better writing my journals here than on paper. at least this way, my laptop has a passowrd that no one in the house can get into. though it kind of sucks that it is a requirement to change my password every few months. why they even set it up like that is beyond me. i wonder what it'll be like if and when i actually go to a cafe and type out my journal entries there. its noce to imagine, but at the same time, the crowd would overwhelm me lmao then again, it's something i should get used to if i want to go back to work again. i just wish that the places i work at dont fckn ghost me, if and when they decide to let me go. that would be nice fir once. especially if i did something wrong to be let go like that. like, why are they even allowed to do that? but when the employees do that, just up and leave the work place or quit on the spot, we get go on the list of "do not hire"? kind of stupid isnt it?

i think im about to go on a rant in a sec, so i'm going to do something else, see if i still feel the same way about it later on. if i do, i'll talk about it here lol

9:56pm - now that i got that out of my system, i still feel the same way, i just dont feel the need to rant about it. i think ill just sit on this feeling and think about it. considering that there is nothing that i can personally do, to change said circumstances. anyway, change of subject, im finally listening to audio books now! since it got onto spotify, ive been taking advantage of it and i am so happy that i am! i think thats part of the reason why i have been feeling a little motivated today. i think im starting to love audio books now, im thinking of dowloading the app later on, or as soon as i can get a stable and steady job again, cause this is getting ridiculous, even for me.if i was living on my own, id either be on the streets or back to living with my mother again. reality sucks but oh well, what can i do other than look for another job. the village sucks for job hunting, especially if its just the canery, brighter feature, and assistant teacher. 2 of those i do not like because it involvles interacting with kids, which i am not used of. the other involves 12-14 hours of just standing there or stacking. not a lot of choices for me to choose from, thats for sure. i used to work at the clinic but they havent called me back in nearly a year. same with the school, after the pandemic started, i was never called back. hence why i wanted to rant about the whole " work places just up and ghost you" bullshit. stuff like that really annoy me so much. which is why i am so worried about moving, what if pg does the same? i look for a job for months, never get hired, be expected to pay rent each month i am unepmloyed AND buy myself groceries. not to mention the transportation, the area id live in and if every single one of them just fucking ignore me. since ive been planning this with my best friend, i told her about wanting to save up enough to pay 3 to 4 months of rent, have enough for groceries, and a few furniture if we find a place that needs it. she took note of it after i told her my olfer brothers experience and mine. it can be really stressful when no one hires you. it really makes you think if any of that, is because of whats on your resume, or what i say in most of my interviews, i dont even feel comfortable lying to them, just so i can get the bloody job and start making and saving money. like ive been planning for so many years. i just wish that adulting is so much easier. but that would be too much to ask of our prime minister. selfsih piece of shit. Anyway, dinner is nearly done cooking so i am going to go back to watching shera and enjoy our late dinner, again. i like that i started typing a lot more here than i did on my phone. i love it, i almost dont want to stop, almost.

12:07am - we have just finished having our supper and MY G O D was supper ever so yummy~ i couldnt finish my plate so i think im going to give the rest to my little brother, but at the same time. i want to keep it for myself for when i get hunry for it again. i think im going to go bath tonight and then set up my trans tape for tomorrow. ill be buying more i think next week wen i have more money in my bank. which, btw, i need to go down to the band office and take out cash again. cause honestly, i want to stop myself from spending so much money in one go. i want to get better at that, i will acknowledge, though, that i have been doing really well on not spending so much. i managed to save more than enough after the rupert trip with my littlw brother. im really proud of that <3

12:36am - i am going to get ready for a bath now, had my 4th (forth) cup of coffee and 0 (zero) cups of water. i gotta catch up on that one. i used to be able to keep up with my water intake. well, except for when i was a teen, i hated the taste of plain water, so i remember avoiding drinking water unless absolutley necessary, which, at the time, was kind of rare for me to do. i was drinking one to two cups of water every other day. i was an absolutely stubborn child, i hated being wrong lmao i still kind of do, actually. im just not as stubborn as i was before, at least not to the point where im putting my health on the line. so yeah, i guess i still hate being wrong most times lmao

should i bring this up in my therapy appointment? i think i should. or rather, i feel like i should, but i dont want to. i just want to make the appointment again, and just fckn rant my therapist ear right out. maybe ill feel better afterwards and be better on my own time schedule management with my friends and family. i was so afraid to become that adult who is almost never home, drinking and doing ddrugs a lot, to the point where someone may take advantage of me at my lowest. however that may look. that i stayed home way more than a normal person considers "normal". i dont know how else to put it. i just know that my best friend is very sick of it and so am i. im 25 going to be turning 26 this year and i should and want to act like it for once in my life. i know that, physically, im no longer a teenager anymoe but in my brain, im jumping from 14, 16,17 and18 all in one go it seems. but i think ill save this topic for another time. kekekekekekeke

good night, readers! <3

[basslinegrave]

long time no talking about my ship so recently ive been thinking

about dynamics and swaps again, and how they would interact with the other from a different game, note: i have my own views about them at this point and each one of them has some specific traits based on canon things; most of their main characteristics overlap between different game versions but there are tiny details and traits that differ assigned by the terrible combo of canon content and my own delusions. lets go

i feel like 6 ling tong and 8 gan ning would be an interesting match, like i feel like they would fight the least? but maybe that would make it actually boring lol but i feel like 6 ling tong starts to really care about gan ning and 8 gan ning seems to care about ling tong

also i think 5 and 7 are just good as is, but 9 ling tong needs something better, at least mainline wise. mobile game has some good stuff, basically its not just completely one sided there... in 5 its mutual rivalry, in 7 they seem to come to something quite neutral or reach a new start, would even say they care for one another, but 9 feels like gan ning doesnt give two fucks except the mobile game that fed me two crumbs within the memory cards and the story, where gan ning was quite nosy lol but towards the end it was kinda flat, i do like one part but i prefer the dialogue for gan nings death in 9, the jp and cn voice acting got me, but it felt like somethings missing like how did we come to That. and after, why is ling tong now reminiscing and mentioning gan ning when he didnt show much care for him? if anything, only hatred? i gotta do everything myself and say it was a well kept secret or else its nonsensical lol

it was like. iykyk. if you dont you wouldnt give it much thought, so the dialogue is just for the few ppl that care so theyre fed (but man im still hungry!!)

in the end i feel like 8 gan ning is like the most caring one? like also a bit childish and a himbo but in the good way? i like that too, just keeping everything simple. so i wonder how he would be with the other ling tongs, like 9 would probably hate how friendly he is and angry cry about it (note: crybaby ling tong idea has been here since the very start and im on board with that and it has been revived in the mobile game. its real thank you) 5 would probably be the same i mean 5 gan ning did p much say the same thing as 8 but 8 would do it in even simpler terms and then be less of a brute? i dont know man theyre so different in my head than the actual game at this point i guess. also everyone hates 6 gan ning. and i havent thought about how stupid 5 and 6 gan ning has been portrayed in the manga..

getting lost in my own thoughts i remembered last year i was trying to make some graphic connecting them. i failed at it so badly as i got tangled.

heres an image. i am cropping out the color assignments because youd die of cringe but they are different levels/types of relationship.(at the latest point) i also Hope its unreadable. and btw, this is all only from ling tongs pov, i got totally lost on gan nings pov, when i realized i 99% of the time main ling tong and i dont take the time to look at gan ning under a microscope, and also the fact that most of gan nings routes just straight up dont have ling tong in them 😶 one sided hell

conclusion: "chase what the actual Fuck are you Talking About theyre the Same Characters hello?"

you dont get it like i do...

[bookaddict05]

Mystery man

This is a female reader x bucky barnes story

This is my first time writing a one shot please enjoy

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

The sun is shining through my baby pink cotton curtains as jarvis announces the time "6:30 Miss y/n, you have breakfast scheduled for 7:00 accompanied with Mr Hogan, followed by training at 8:00 with your new instructor mr barnes".

Ah yes the Mystery man that all the shield agents seem to be obsessed by Mr Barnes the fearless soldier. Guess today we can put a name to a face.

I rolled out of bed slowly dragging myself to the joint bathroom i share with tessa they are also an agent but also the closest thing i have to family. We enrolled into the academy together and since then we have been as close as ever. I pick up my tooth brush take off its protective cap and put some toothpaste on. While brushing my teeth tessa makes an appearance brushes their hair.

"whats your schedule?" I ask them while spitting out toothpaste

"Ive got a meeting with Hill at 7:00 and then me and a few other agents have a mission with Rogers at noon, what about you?" They answers

"Breakfast with Hogan and training with Barnes"

"Omg u get to train with Barnes im so jealous, hes the best trainer out there, however ive heard hes ruthless so good luck"

I leave them in the bathroom closing my door behind me. I walk over to my vanity and pick up my hair brush and put my hair into double dutch braids while applying some sun cream and day cream on to my face. Gotta keep my young looking face, i think then i smile at my self in the mirror and say you can do this.

I walk to breakfast and was automatically greeted by Happy who was waiting for me in the kitchen. He talked me through security details while we had some lovely raisin weetabix.

I stand up from the table and place my dish and spoon in the sink and turned to face Happy.

"Ive got to go now i need to meet Barnes" he nodds and i walk down the corridor and take a left.

I walked into the gymnasium there was a sparing place in the middle of the floor which was surrounded by multiple various different gym equipment.  In the middle of the floor stood a man around 6ft tall, dark slick back hair, muscular and one strange noticeable feature... a metal arm.  Oh and one other thing hes incredibly gorgeous no wonder everyone was so obsessed.

"You are y/n i assume" he questioned

"Thats correct sir"

"Dont call me sir i feel old, call me Barnes... now lets see what you got"

He made me run lap around the hall, lift weights and occasionally fight each other. It felt like hours had passed.

"Im fed up, im not doing anymore" i refuse and drop to the floor.

He looks down at me in amusement

"You have only been training for an hour u still have another hour left. Now get up" he says that last part more stern than pervious.

"No i cant move, you cant make me do something if i cant move"

Tension starts to pick up

"Get up off your lazy arse right now and give me another 10 laps" he said fury burning within his eyes

"Make me"

We stared deeply in one anothers eyes both with hatred flowing through us. He walks closer towards me causing him to tower over me more. I stand up so the height difference wasnt so great but he still seemed to tower over me. We stared intently into each others souls both of us not wanting to break away first to give the other the delight of winning.

A slight smirk forms across his face and he reaches out for my arm while im still distracted by his ocean blue eyes. He flips me on the floor and pins me down. Still not breaking eye contact. 

"20 laps now"

I can tell that me and metal man are going to have lots of fun...

[motleyfam]

I posted 2,267 times in 2022

36 posts created (2%)

2,231 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@desperatecheesecubes

@mooitstimdrake

@batshit-birds

@sohotthateveryonedied

@sun-moon-stars-jedi

I tagged 454 of my posts in 2022

#the batman - 25 posts

#fave - 18 posts

#batfam - 9 posts

#atla - 9 posts

#bruce wayne - 8 posts

#dick grayson - 7 posts

#damian wayne - 6 posts

#this sparks joy - 6 posts

#amen - 6 posts

#tim drake - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#thinking of that ‘superman wrecking a whole ass train to save a child on the tracks who he could have just swooped away from danger’ post

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

hey! so its 4am and ive just finished my, um... fifth(?) reread of world's saddest breakfast club and like! aaahhhh!!!

do u got abything to tell us abt this story? like sbt the writing proccess or things u thought that did not make it in or hc or anything really. i dont have a question exactly, just wanted to hear you talk about it. im a bit. well. obssesed.

Oooh cool question! I definitely do!

World's Saddest Breakfast Club: Fun Facts

The opening line is a result of me angsting to @batmoniker about how I couldn't figure out how to start my fic, and her jokingly being like "I got you, bro. Ready? 'It was a dark and stormy night'" and then me just being stubborn and committing to the bit.

The story started with a vague idea of "everyone in the kitchen at 3am for different reasons and Jason channeling his inner short order cook." All I knew going in was the order I wanted people to appear, what was wrong with them (sick, hurt, insomnia, etc) and what food Jason would be making for them. Everything else I made up as I went.

If I could go back and change one thing about this fic, I'd reduce how long Jason was kidnapped to like, 6-8 days, max. 16 days seemed funny when I wrote it, but in hindsight, I feel like he'd be a little more fucked up in the story if he were really escaping from that many days of captivity lmao

I headcanon Dick as the kind of person who straight-up forgets to eat when he's preoccupied, and Jason as the kind of person who cannot FATHOM this concept. Jason absolutely will miss a meal if the situation calls for it, don't get me wrong, but he's aware the entire time he's doing it and it makes him super antsy. (This once turned into A Thing™ when Jason was like, 13 years old and staying with Dick for the weekend for some brotherly bonding and Dick forgot about lunch and by 5pm, Jason maybe sorta kinda had a minor panic attack about it. Dick was a lot more mindful of that moving forward)

Bruce's favorite food being lobster thermidor is a reference to the Lego Batman movie

I wrote this whole fic with Julia Child's recipe pulled up in one tab and my google doc in the other

At some point I realized that since I started with fresh lobsters, I was going to have to write Jason killing them, and it derailed me so hard that the fic nearly became about meatloaf instead. (Never mind the fact that Jason canonically kills human beings — that's totally fine. I just draw the line at him killing lobsters 😰)

(in the end I just kinda glossed over it and made sure they were already cooked before Damian appeared so I wouldn't have to address it 😬)

Dick's reoccurring shoulder injury is a reference to the DCAU where I swear that man has dislocated his shoulder/injured his arm at least 4x

The line about Tim being allergic/throwing up when he eats eggs was inspired by a line in chap 11 of @goldkirk's fic Hymn, which I've reread about 37x

Jason is correct— grits are fucking delicious and definitely not baby food.

My favorite line is "Okay there’s self-sacrificial bullshit, and then there’s whatever the fresh hell that is."

The idea for Cass being a big meat-eater comes from a comic panel where Steph offers her a plate of rice and beans and Cass says needs meat and starts mischievously eying Steph's hamster. Can't find the panel to save my life, but I promise it's out there.

EDIT: finally found it!

Steph's nickname of "Zombie Boy" for Jason is borrowed from @audreycritter's Cor Et Cerebrum series (which is a fucking masterpiece, btw)

This fic was gonna be called "Creatures of the Night" until batmoniker said Steph's line made for a better title

Several people have asked me whether Jason was really cooking Bruce's lobster to spite him, or if he was actually intending to make it for him all along. The answer is... both? Like Jason's kind of an unreliable narrator in that he's trying to convince himself that he's just doing what he's doing to be a little shithead when deep down it's all stemming from his need to take care of his family, you know? Like he'll never admit it, but that's where his heart is at.

To everyone who's asked for a part 2 where the family finds out Jason was kidnapped, I'm gonna be honest: the main reason I don't think I'm ever going to write that scene is because I can't come up with a good enough joke for him to make to accidentally out himself ☠️

90 notes - Posted September 18, 2022

#4

Imagine Bruce starting therapy and learning about all these cool new tricks and gadgets that can help with emotional regulation and getting super invested (because I mean, c’mon, the dude’s like the king of gadget hoarding, he’s got a utility belt for goodness sake)

Then imagine the learning curve of him realizing that just because something works great for one of his kids, doesn’t mean it works for all of them, as illustrated by this memorable incident:

Jason gets really upset and starts having a minor panic attack about something

Bruce, proud owner of 14 new weighted blankets (in various styles, weights, and sizes), tries to wrap his adult son up in one to ground him

After all, Bruce himself finds them super comforting because it’s basically a socially acceptable alternative to wearing a massive Kevlar cape 24/7 like he’d do if he could

(Tim loves them too, so like, kid tested, parent approved™️)

Ends up totally backfiring when the added weight & restricted movement sends Jason into a full-blown flashback of digging out of his own grave, taking this panic attack from like a 4 to a 10

Whoops

130 notes - Posted December 6, 2022

#3

Sometimes I get really hung up on trying to make all the logistics and time frame work out in my fanfics

Then I see how the professionals handle this dilemma:

211 notes - Posted March 12, 2022

#2

I have a headcanon that Dick doesn’t actually like cereal nearly as much as he pretends to.

He just knew that Bruce felt bad about his own cooking ineptitude in the early days after taking his new ward in, so whenever Alfred had the night off, the 9-year-old insisted cereal was his ‘favorite food on the planet’ because it was something that Bruce could actually handle preparing for him without setting off the smoke alarms and it made him happy to do it

372 notes - Posted April 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Tim hardly ever wears seatbelts.

It’s not a conscious choice at this point really, he just never got into the habit. When he outgrew his last car seat at age five, his parents didn’t bother getting him a booster and just let him sit in the normal seat, so the belt always felt like it was cutting into his neck and he hated it. He put up a big fuss about it once on the way to some important event, and his parents just huffed, “Fine, don’t wear it then. Fly out the window for all I care” and that was that. They never forced him again.

He just so rarely has to wear one that it slips his mind. Buses don’t have seatbelts. Motorcycles don’t have seatbelts. The Batmobile has them, but they’re rarely used due to the necessity for split-second drop ins and getaways.

It’s not until he’s 17 and driving with Jason somewhere that he finally gets called out on it. Not only called out, but told in a no nonsense sort of way “This car ain’t moving till I hear a fucking click. What, did they stop showing ‘Red Asphalt’ in drivers ed while I was dead??”

(They do still show it. Tim just slept through that class)

557 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[ghost-of-the-machine]

or.. ill be upset about something else. i feel angry

i make too many excuses for everyone in my life. you ask them to walk all over you if it makes them feel better. i let you

im allowed to be a little spiteful, im allowed to be bitter!!!

its just. id say? bpd gives me the most problems like. even the whole. brain not put together thing is less cumbersome than that shit. what a painful way of life, so extreme and tiring.. it rips me apart and then puts me back together so suddenly, im high off the buzz until its ripped away from me again. thats how everything feels, it makes me want to just... sleep. for a very very long time

like most if not all disorders, its not my fucking fault i have to live like this, its theirs. im glad i was born... because i wouldnt be where i am now and i dont want to think about that. but? you couldnt have spared me a little time? ive been so violently aware of myself and all my flaws since i was little, like. LITTLE little. between offhand comments that i overanalyzed religiously and based my sense of self on, to just. being ALONE. that was no place for a kid to grow up. dark and dingy and cold and there was bugs everywhere and. there wasnt always someone to make food for me, i got food poisoning so many times cuz you cant let a fucking 7 year old cook for himself with no supervision? 'cook' is a generous word, id literally just grab cold shit from the fridge and eat it. several times i drank alcohol on accident cuz there was just water bottles full of alcohol left around my house. and lord, was it dirty.. not to mention the blood. and the violence, and screaming.. and they wonder why im the way i am now? i feel... ruined. it makes me angry. couldnt you have saved me from all of that? couldnt you have made it better for me? i was just a child, what could i have done? i did the most, though. put myself in front of others, learned to protect and . it was really naive of me, obviously these grown men arent scared of a little girl. but i tried, because everyone seemed like they needed someone to take care of them. i mean.. thats why they didnt take care of me, right? they needed it more! surely 💀

i got taken away by cps when i was really little, its one of my earliest memories. it was like a dream, every memory is like a dream to me.. but i remember that apparently, the agent on our case was corrupt or something, said we didnt have food when we did, etc and got us taken away on purpose. i think thats true, shes mentioned a case in the newspaper about it, but. my mom didnt want to give me up again. it took till i was about 8-9 before she finally sent me to live with my grandma again. maybe i wasnt there for very long, but... i am permanently altered 🥳🥳 YIPPIEEEE!!!!!

honestly it sucks. my dad is in jail where he belongs, ive never missed him a single day in my life, but.. i remember after, the only times id see my mom was brief visits at like. a facility. and i thought it was fun because there was places for me to play. it makes me.. really sad thinking about it now. i was about 4-5 around this time. idk. im not really angry anymore, im just sad now. i mean ill always be angry, but that just means ill always be sad too

so much... disruption. moving all over and leaving my friends behind, struggling to make new ones cuz . oh no1!1 that boy is developing attachment issues, i wonder where this will lead!!!! i latch on like a parasite to anyone i fall in love with, because im scared to be disrupted again. im scared itll be taken from me because everyone LOVES taking things away from me. my stability, my happiness, my family. my everything, just ripped away over and over again. no wonder bro doesnt know who he is!!!!!!!! what a waste.

[ssparksflyy]

el chico del apartamento 512 ✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚

pairing: leo valdez x fem!reader warning(s): normal life au, spanglish, shakespeare analyzations that make zero sense, small swearing, sk8er leo ♡ word count: 2.4k a/n: 𖦹 this is me asking u to believe that two people can ride on a skateboard 𖦹 also yes i had to use google translate dont make fun of me im too scared of accidentally spelling something wrong <;/3

7:30 AM

you grumbled as you woke up to the blaring sound of your alarm going off. you turned over in your bed and reached over to your nightstand to dismiss your alarm. it takes you a good minute to finally convince yourself to get out of bed and start your day.

you manage to crawl out of bed and head to the bathroom, where you spend the next hour or getting ready for what is most likely to be yet another long day at school.

8:45 AM

you hugged your (guardian) goodbye in a hurry and grabbed your backpack quickly before exiting your apartment. as you dug through your backpack trying to find your keys, you heard a door shut behind you.

"good morning" a familiar voice said from behind you. you turned around and there he was, tu chico del apartamento 512. el que hice tu pobre corazón saltar.

"good morning" you responded, a smile spreading across your face.

he returned the smile and motioned his head toward your backpack, "did ya forget something?"

"oh no, no, just getting my keys" you said, digging through your backpack some more and pulling them out then locking your apartment door.

"say, do you want a ride to school today? ive only got my skateboard, but i think it'd be better than walking" he said, lifting the skateboard he was carrying in his right arm.

you thought for a second. you were already late to school, and besides, you had first period together anyway.

"yea please, that'd be nice" you admitted, giving him small smile.

"of course, cmon!" leo said, grabbing your hand and leading you towards the elevator.

you could feel heat rush to your face at the touch of his hand. you felt like you were on fire as his rough hand continued to hold yours on the ride down to the first floor. he was naturally touchy, and you didn't really mind. you got used to the shoulder brushes and your forearms touching as they rested on the desk, but this was different. the guy you've had a crush on since you moved in was holding your hand and he was giving you a ride to school?? your poor heart felt like it was going to burst.

it seemed that leo also took notice he was still holding your hand as he dropped it and muttered a quick 'sorry' as the elevator door opened and you stepped out together. you wished he hadn't noticed.

"que tienen un buen día!" sofi, the lady at the front desk yelled, as leo opened and held the front door for you.

"tú también, sofi!" you said, turning around and giving her a quick wave goodbye.

"dang i never get goodbyes from sofi, no fair." leo said, a fake frown on his face.

" must be a you issue, cause she literally loves me" you said, shrugging.

leo gave you and deadpan look, "i will leave you here."

"nonono! im sorry!" you apologized quickly.

he laughed and put his skateboard on the ground, getting on.

"you ready?" he asked.

you nodded your head with a smile.

he gave you a smile back, "alright, make sure you hold on tight."

you wrapped your arms around his waist tightly and pressed your body into his. apparently, neither of you thought about being this close to each other because you were literally praying the heat from your face wouldn't burn a hole through leo's shirt and he was praying that you wouldnt get a third-degree burn from his body feeling like it was on fire.

you rode to school in silence, both feeling incredibly embarrassed and freaking out inside but also not wanting the ride to end.

8:15 AM

after finally arriving at school (leo 'got lost' and 'accidentally' took a longer route), getting situated through the attendance office, and having to deal with your unnecessarily strict teacher refusing to let you in the class, you two finally managed to plop down in your seats, a big sigh escaping your lips. your teacher placed two worksheets on your shared desk and updated you on the upcoming test this friday.

you were moving through the worksheet fairly easily, each problem only taking you about 2 minutes. leo, on the other hand, was too focused on doodling in the corner of his paper to even start the assignment.

you looked up from your paper and said, "leo, the next time you complain about english kicking your butt, im gonna remind you of this."

he sighed dramatically and put his pencil down, leaning back into his chair, "it's just not my strong suit okay? i hate english, it so dumb. methinks shakespear was crazy and he needs to shut up."

"well he's dead now, so the shutting up part has been covered, but really, we're just analyzing. do you need help?" you asked.

"yea i guess. i don't know, im not good at analyzing things- like the question'll be like 'why did he say this?' and i'm just like, i don't know, ask him??" he said, shrugging.

you laughed, "i can tutor you after school if you'd like?"

leo's face lit up, "really? i mean, yea please that'd be great! my place?"

"sure, 4 sound good to you?" you asked, smiling.

"yea of course" he said, returning the smile, "oh by the way, my cou-"

"valdez and (l/n)! do you two need to be separated??" your teacher yelled from her desk. you shook your heads quickly and went back to working, your faces feeling a little hotter than before.

3:30 PM

the rest of your school day went by pretty quickly, with nothing ever changing in any of your classes. you managed to get an actual ride home from one of your friends, which you 'paid' for by paying for your trip to ( fav fast food restaurant ).

before heading over to leo's, you had to finish up some homework yourself- which really meant you were going to curse whoever created math and question yourself for taking the advanced class for the next half hour.

just as you were planning out what your life could be like if you dropped out of high school just because of math, your alarm went off.

your heart did a small flutter, it was time.

4:00 PM

you put your math homework back into your binder and put it into your bag before slinging it over your shoulder.

you stopped in front of your mirror, fixing your hair, adjusting your clothes, and quickly reapplying some lipgloss.

just as you were about to exit your apartment, you were stopped by your (gaurdian).

"¿y a donde vas?" they asked.

"al otro lado del pasillo, estoy ayudando al chico de allí con inglés." you answered, hoping and praying they wouldn't say anything about it.

they studied you for a second, "ok... pero te quiero en casa a las 6."

you smiled and walked over to them, giving them a quick hug. you didn't care if it was a disney channel interaction, you were just glad they were letting you go because you definitely forgot to ask them earlier.

you opened the door to your apartment and closed it as you walked out.

truthfully, you were hoping for a movie-like walk to his door where you'd have time to freak out and manage to calm down, but his door was only 3 steps away from you, so much for that plan.

you knocked on his door with a panicked smile, your heart racing a million beats per second.

your smile dropped immediately as you saw who opened the door.

it was a girl, a beautiful girl, a girl you'd never seen before.

seriously? was she leo's girlfriend? that he never mentioned?? was he seriously such a dick that he'd accept your offer of helping him while his girlfriend was over? well so much for thinking he might've also had feelings for you! there was also no way he didn't notice when you'd get flustered around him, so was he using you? you did help him out in class quite often.. so was he playing the whole loser act? cause he played it pretty well!!

you didn't realize you were staring. you were snapped out of your thoughts when the girl asked,

"oh! are you looking for my cousin?"

oh.

your mouth opened and shut quickly, "uh- yea! you mean leo, right?"

she gave you a warm smile, "yea, he mentioned that a pretty girl like you was coming over. well, he didn't mention the pretty part but you could see it on his face, he was definitely blushing." she said, letting you in.

you took back everything you thought before as you walked into his apartment, maybe the loser wasnt so bad.

"leo! your girlfriend's here!" she called.

you could feel heat rush to your face, "oh im not his-"

you were interrupted with the sound of leo scrambling out of his room and running down the hallway.

"hi!" he said, quickly fixing his hair.

"hey" you said, giving him a small wave and smiling.

he smiled back at you. from beside you, his cousin groaned and whispered, loud enough for you both to hear, "now kiss"

leo shot her a glare, "cmon (y/n), we can study in my room, god knows what'll happen if we go to the dinner table with my mom and tia"

you let out a small laugh and followed him to his room.

leo's room was somehow clean, but messy. it was covered from roof to floor with just a whole bunch of random things such as posters, action figures, blueprints, and so much more.

he walked over to his desk and pulled out a chair, "for you, m'lady"

you did a small curtsy and sat in the chair.

before sitting in the one next to you he asked, "do you need anything? water, a snack, anything you want?"

you shook your head, "no im good, thanks"

he smiled and sat down, "alright then, lets see what kind of crazy shit shakespeare is on"

you spent around an hour and a half, just blowing through quotes, teaching leo how to analyze them and what they meant.

"see your getting the hang of it!" you said, before moving onto the next quote, "alright, 'what is love?-'"

"-baby dont hurt me" leo said, smirking.

you rolled your eyes and started over, " 'what is love? ‘tis not hereafter: present mirth hath present laughter.' and for that comment, your on your own for this one."

he sprang up quickly, "what?! no fair!"

you shrugged and winced, "thats what ya get for focusing on haddaway and not shakespear"

he rolled his eyes playfully and let out a dramtic sigh, "uhhh, i guess it means that like, love is whats happening in the moment, and that que it brings like laughter and happiness?"

"now how hard was that?" you asked, smiling.

"so very hard, i think i almost died" he said dramatically, pretending to faint and throwing his head on your shoulder.

you laughed, trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach.

he paused for a second, keeping his head on your shoulder, "you know, maybe shakespeare wasn't entirely wrong"

you raised your eyebrows, "oh? really? and why's that, repair boy?"

he raised his head from your shoulder and turned to face you, "i mean, he's right, love is what's happening to you now, and not like, in the future. you don't fall in love with somebody because of their future, you can't, it's not possible. you fall in love with somebody in the moment, and it makes you feel joy like no other."

he had moved a bit closer to you, your faces just inches away from each other.

"how would you know? i thought you'd never had a girlfriend before?" you whispered.

instead of taking offense to your comment, he just moved closer, your lips dangerously close.

he let out a dry chuckle, "maybe not, but you don't need to be in a relationship to know your absolutely crazy for somebody."

you simply hummed in response, eyes flickering down to his lips while you tried to play cool when your heart was doing backflips and all your systems were shutting down.

finally, leo made the move and closed the (very small) space between you. you could feel your heart jumping out of your chest as he kissed you and you kissed him back. he raised his hand to your face, his warm hand softly cupping your cheek.

it took your loss of breath for you to finally pull away, panting softly.

"well finally" leo's cousin said, from the door.

you both immediately jumped apart from each other, leo getting up from his chair and yelling, "oh my god, lila go away you creep! can't get peace in my own house?"

lila just laughed and walked away as leo walked over to the door and closed it.

"im so sorr-" he began, but was interrupted by you laughing. god love really did bring laughter, cause you just kissed your neighbor, who you'd been crushing on for years, and you couldn't help but laugh.

leo shoved his head into his hands, embarrassed, as he walked back over to you. he sat back down, the stupidest smile on his face.

your laughter eventually died and you lazily put your arms around leo's neck, bringing him in close once again.

"(y/n), ive got to admit. i've had a big, dumb, stupid crush on you since you moved in. and i know, i shouldn't assume but based off the fact that you kissed me back and you've got your arms around my neck im thinking you might just have a crush on me too?"

you smiled at him, god you loved this loser, "what? no! of course not, i do this to every guy i meet, duh"

"(y/n)" he said, giving you a deadpan look.

you laughed again, "ive had a big, dumb, stupid crush you since i've moved in, so i guess we've got that in common"

he smiled and said softly, "think you could do me the honor of being my girlfriend, then?"

"let me think about it," you said, moving in closer and placing a small kiss on his lips, "id love too"

leo grinned and cupped your cheek, pulling you in for another kiss.

a/n pt.2: hii, thank you sm for reading ♡♡ this is yet to be proofread but its 2am so ill do that in the morning♡ have a great day/night !

peace from manhattan,

percy jackson

[swynlake-spill]

Anna’s been acting super weird ever since spring break… what happened on that trip??

omg this is so true do u think she hooked up with anyone as a kind of rebound post-ashleigh leaving town???

i do lets go down the list of possibilities!!!!

Nemo. we will call this a 5/10 i wouldn't put it past him however he was seen sticking around jenny the entire trip and granted miss goody goody anna isnt rly his type

Jenny. another 5/10 bc again sticking around nemo the whole trip and well, if edric is any example of what she likes, anna does not fit the bill

Hunter. 8/10. They DO have many things compatible for example they are nice and nerds and each have a hyperfixation such as BIRDS (hunter) and ASHLEIGH (anna)

Laurette. 8/10. omg i actually like this one so much bc ive been waiting for laurette to get something sweet and something about this bookish girl meets coffee shop sweetheart thing is working for me.

Danny. 9/10. u know they very well could do the friends to lovers thing and i would not hate it????? of all these couples it does seem like the sexual tension could boil over with these two on a spring break trip dont u think

Olaf. 1/10. impossible this is like dating ur older brother. YUCKY.

Ariel. 7/10. its giving WHEN IN NORWAY! energy! ariel is spontaneous enough and well she is beautiful who wouldnt! i would!

personally in the process of writing this ive decided to ship anna/danny so fingers crossed thats what happened!!

[myskyperevenge]

it's been a few days since i went up here. ive been informed that its kind of telling the extent to which im touched like deeply in my heart over the boring ugly ass places i spend my time but like lets be real here most people are basically on some hot mindless bullshit vis a vis beauty like youve got people talking about like. fucking. what. literally the most boring shit ever like just incapable of forming a single relationship with anything theyve ever seen unless they've been given the wordless "okay" for it from the world at large like people wear fucking makeup and shit. thats whats really gay i think.

theres a circle of nothing around the facility just boxing you in same way the heat does you know, which makes sense because no one wants to live around this place for the same reasons no one wants to live by an airport or a cemetery or anywhere drugs are produced in significant numbers, all of which they also do out here btw. lol. anyway it's a chain; youre contained first by the heat then by the machinery and then by miles of space, empty space not even horse trails or makeshift shooting ranges or nothing like that. you dont come out here you know theres no lights.

anyway personally i think there's a lot to be said for walking on something huge and hollow. i'm pretty significantly underweight and shorter than the average adult male even though thats what i am and i wasnt expecting the metal underneath me to cave but it did. nothing gave way of course but there's something interesting about the feeling of the "ground" literally caving in under your feet. im vaguely conscious that i should be afraid of this, but that's just another sensation.

the lights are off color here but your presence makes every one of them feel like a halo shining down. i dont make a habit of thinking about or expressing my feelings but sometimes i do feel them and i think you're a dumb bitch for asking any more of me than that

churning and gurgling under the dented metal beneath my feet is laid over by the dull roar of the fans. the wind blows and from what cant be less than five stories above the ground i look down and watch him move. it's always fascinated me the way clothing can frame a body; he looks different than he did before. i'd smile but i don't feel like it. thats okay though

used to spend a lot of time thinking about places like this and the consequences of spending lots of time in them. i want to get my fingers into places like this even if it pinches and burns. now's a really good time for us to split a cigarette you know. sit down a minute. 20$ says you wont see more than 7 or 8 cars on the road going through here the whole time we're up watching. it's got to mean something to someone but im honestly just cool hanging out with you. no big deal yk i just dont get out that often anymore so i get sentimental real easy like its so gay.

so yeah slickdirk. this is a little rambly and shit im not apologizing here just like giving a warning im typing this up inthe library after an early early morning /late late night shift cuz the electric in my unit is off and its hot as ass in there so fuck that basically. anyway

before i say anything more of course ive got to specify that i'm totally riffing off of tumblr user @youabandonedthem for my slick characterization here. but honestly it doesn't feel like characterization it's more like dear beloved sweet yat has the only meaningful understanding of slick anyone has ever had in the world like i mean come on look at that fucking blog youre kidding me and also stupid as fuck if you think thats even an interpretation of the character its just straight up factual. jackass. anyway im all over it hope its ok to namedrop you here dont be a stranger and all that.

similarly shoutout to dear beloved sweet @ottiliere for her dirk characterization which is similarly the only dirk that could possibly matter to me like most of everyone else who posts about him seems to have just not read homestuck some of the people writing meta about him even just have no grasp on ANY of the characters if were being real here but thats way off topic anyway otti owns i dont usually give a shit about aus but if its good its good and if you deny it youre nothing basically.

i dont think anyone has given love to tmc the way yat does and i don't think anyone has really put their heart into making weird niche homestuck art the way ottiliere does (at least not in this era like ive been OVER this before if youve ever talked to me we are living in a post-post-homestuck society). which makes sense because the vast majority of modern fans (of anything) are altogether much more boring breed. no plumage or patterns or anything fun. but thats another thing. and also overly pessimistic of me but whatever i feel like if someone reads that and feels like theyre being called boring its because they know somewhere that theyre boring and missing out and maybe thats their wakeup call to start getting silly with it. or maybe no one cares i dont know i dont give a shit.

anyway the intitial interest in slickdirk was generated pretty specifically in the context of the two of them being psych warded together. typically this prospect alone would be like harlequin novel parody fanfiction type shit such that i wouldnt have any interest in it, but this was different from the get go on the basis that their interactions were never initially about romance.

dirk is self aware to the point of walking backwards. he's self obsessed, self conscious, hyperfixated-in the true sense-on how he presents himself. like all people like this, he's also constantly telling on himself. i'm speaking in terms of canon and otti's dirk here btw, this is true of both fundamentally. in terms of otti's vision specifically, though…it's dialed up, right.

people who think about themselves like this are inherently isolated from other people because, regardless of how they feel about themselves, they're very convinced they're better than everyone else. being in an institution full of other sick people can spur this line of thinking regardless of how untrue it is; once you've decided you're above the rest of the BRAINBROKE FREAKS around you, it's hard to even start to empathize with any of them! if you look back at some of otti's older posts you can kind of feel the extent to which dirk doesn't want jackshit to do with nothing going on in the hospital like just obviously has no interest in participating or anything like that in any capacity.

slick on the other hand like. really i can't write any of this without referencing yat's house essay about the midnight crew watching house and specifically spades slick watching house and how he would feel about it. forget everything i just said and go read that and then come back. okay so he obviously thinks about himself and his body and very specifically his disability in such a way that he is basically completely unaware of it in spite of living with it day to day. if you know what kind of guy im talking about here you know but also im going on good faith here assuming you read the youabandonedthem papers so even if you dont KNOW you should at least have kind of an idea what im referring to here.

the big draw between these two is that they're both in completely different subtypes of denial about themselves to vastly different effects. of course they'd be drawn to each other in this scenario…they're literally the ONLY NORMAL people in the whole building uhh have you seen the other guys in here. lol like what even.

and the thing is that even following up the initial theorized meeting in the ward, like, there's all this potential for what could come after…don't get it twisted this isn't some edgy folie a deux that im suggesting that would be so boring.

they're more than "bad for each other" even if they're not quite "good for each other" either. it isn't about an endgame or even necessarily "shipping" as a lot of people think of it. it's more like…the ways their differences and similarities line up feel aligned, even though it wasn't intentional, the same way some moments just feel "right". it isn't about how long the moment lasts or what its impact is, just that there was a moment where there wouldn't have been one if even a few tiny things had shifted. life is comprised of shit like that right. so when something like slickdirk comes along you can either balk at the absurdity of it or ride the wave.

orjust like passively observe thats an option too of course. no big deal it could literally never ever be a big deal im literally just out here trying to have fun trying to make myself laugh yk.

[kookingtae]

falling into you (pt. 8) PREVIEW

pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 4 | pt 5 | pt 6 | pt 7

→scenario: Jungkook’s innocence is like a breath of fresh air in your wild life, and though you know you’re toxic for him, you just can’t seem to stay away.

→genre: college au, slow burn, mutual pining, shy/nerd jk + bad girl oc (mature themes)

→a/n: so i’m not finished with pt 8 yet, since it’s such a climactic chapter it’s taking a bit longer than i anticipated unfortunately BUT i dont want u guys to think ive forgotten about it!!! i know u all are waiting so patiently, and i cannot thank you enough from the bottom of my heart <3 i hope this preview keeps you excited for what’s to come!

Jungkook could never face Y/N again.

God, how could he, knowing that he’d not only finished in five minutes like a pubescent teenager, but also in his pants while she was on top of him?

Embarrassment didn’t even begin to describe the mortification he felt. He’d never wanted the earth to swallow him whole as much as he did in that moment. Sure, he was aware of his slight social anxiety, the way he was constantly looking to bolt from uncomfortable situations—but this was different entirely. This was new territory for him; he’d never done anything remotely sexual with someone else, period, much less with the girl who hung the stars, moon, and sun in his eyes. What was he supposed to do? There was nowhere to escape to in his own bedroom, no running away from his problems that made him uncomfortable. No, he had to stand there with his head down and his crotch dripping wet while he practically begged her to leave. He had never been so ashamed of himself. He had never felt so pathetic.

But then Y/N surprised him like she never failed to do: she’d given him reassurance, another kiss even, while telling him that she actually enjoyed the experience—went so far as to say it was the best in her life. Now he knew she was lying to spare his feelings. Of all the men Y/N had been with, there was no way a virgin cumming untouched in his pants was the best of them. She was cruel to make him believe otherwise, to give him false hope.

He wouldn’t allow himself to think any differently. He couldn’t allow himself to get hurt.

Which was why he made it his mission to avoid her at all costs—something he’d gotten very good at over the past few months, and the past few weeks, specifically.

But in the same way he’d learned from the patterns of her daily routine and used them as a means to remain hidden, she’d also learned his and utilized them to her advantage as well. It was the only explanation as to how he was turning a corner inside the art building (about to take the rear exit, since she usually waited for him out front) and suddenly she was standing right in front of him.

He instantly skidded to a halt, heart rate shooting to astronomical levels and eyes widening on their own accord. “Y-Y/N,” he stuttered out involuntarily, the sight of her causing every single detail of their time spent together to come rushing back to him like a tidal wave ready to wipe him out.

As if he needed another excuse to think about the moment they shared that had changed him forever, about the way her moans sounded in his ear and her body felt on his lap and the way she touched his cheek, his neck, the way her lips felt on his skin, god help him—

Already he could feel the beginnings of a blush start to rise to his suddenly hot cheeks, and he cleared his throat and shifted his weight from one foot to the other to keep from springing yet another boner in front of her.

He slid his books in front of his waist, just in case.

While she usually approached him with the natural ease of self-confidence and charm, today she seemed worried, unsure. She chewed at her lower lip—something he didn’t think she really ever did, as he would certainly remember the way it stirred within him—and looked up at him beneath delicate lashes that framed her eyes.

He didn’t have it in him to keep from outright staring at her beauty.

“I… I missed you,” she finally murmured, and he felt the breath physically whoosh from his lungs to join his butterfly-filled stomach all the way at the floor.

It had been a few days since he’d last seen her, since she’d been in his room that night where they opened up about their past and confessed how they truly felt about one another and shared the most life-altering moment he’d ever experienced. He missed her too, god he missed her. He missed everything about her the moment she left his side—would picture her face in his mind as soon as she left his field of vision. But for some reason unknown to him, she was too kind to him, spared his feelings despite knowing what little experience he had. There was no way he’d be able to satisfy a girl—mentally, physically, emotionally—who could have anyone she wanted. Perhaps she pitied him. Either way, if she wouldn’t put a stop to it, then he would.

Or so he’d try, but alas, nothing ever went according to his plans where Y/N was concerned. And here she was, three simple words mumbled into existence and he couldn’t even remember his own name, much less why he’d been trying to fight this.

She seemed to expect he would say nothing—either that or she’d grown used to his silence—because before he had enough sense in him to even think about responding, she was speaking again. “How have you been?”

The question was asked with deliberate, genuine curiosity and concern; she really wanted to know if he was okay, how he was handling things after what had transpired between them. And no matter how hard Jungkook tried to fight this, fight her, fight himself, he was only human.

And so he stopped fighting.

“I– I missed you too,” he breathed out, and it was like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and relocated to his gut. He tensed at his confession, mentally berated himself for his words even though she’d been the one to say them first. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, what with the way his throat locked up.

Though the second he witnessed the smile that sprang to her tantalizing lips, he felt as light as a feather floating in the breeze.

“You did?” Her eyes lit up, sparkled under the fluorescent hallway lights that still managed to capture all of her beauty despite the unflattering lighting. He didn’t think it was possible for any scenery, not even that of a dull and stuffy university building, to make her appear any less breathtaking than she always was.

“I was so worried after I left last week,” she continued without prompt. The mention of his premature finish had him stiffening in dread, though she didn’t let enough silence fester between her words for the anxiety to claw its way up his throat. “I didn’t want you to beat yourself up. I’ve noticed you tend to be too hard on yourself sometimes.” She glanced up at him with the hint of a sheepish grin dancing on her lips.

Her expression said it all: that’s an understatement.

And this shocked him to his core, because she was absolutely right.

Just how well had she gotten to know him in their time spent together over the last few months? And how? And why?

The last question would always boggle him until the end of time; he would never understand why she was interested in him. Why was he the one she had feelings for, when she claimed she never had feelings for anybody? Though he supposed he could ask himself the same thing: why did he feel things for Y/N that he had never felt for anyone else in his life? And the answer was quite simple, really: because it was her.

He didn’t know what about himself was so special to make him stand out in her mind, and as a result he still couldn’t help but be skeptical, even after her confession. But it wasn’t like he had any choice in the matter on what to do with that skepticism—not when his heart kept leading him back to her.

At some point after her accurate description of the inner turmoil that’s been plaguing his mind, his mouth had fallen open slightly. He couldn’t hide the surprise from his face even if he tried; he was speechless.

Y/N gazed up at him, not seeming in any hurry to rush the conversation along, and for that he was grateful. He’d never met somebody so patient and understanding before—just another reason to make Jungkook’s heart flutter with endearment. And it was no secret to himself anymore that he yearned to be in Y/N’s presence for as long as possible whether he was aware of it or not.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, you know,” she continued as if she could read his mind, and that was when he realized the way his eyes avoided hers and the fact that his skin was the color of tomatoes must’ve been dead giveaways. “I meant it when I said that was the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced.”

Jungkook balked, practically choking on his spit at her forward, shameless words. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to the way she spoke her mind so openly without any fear holding her back. She’d gone through so much in her childhood, in her life—Jungkook not even knowing the half of it, he’s sure—and yet she was still so strong and brave and everything he wasn’t. He couldn’t help but admire the person she was today, despite all the prejudice and judgment he’d held for her when they first met.

He realized now that he was too quick to judge her, to write her off based on rumors and first impressions. He realized now that he was too quick to do that to a lot of people. Just how long had he closed himself off from others based on his skewed, morally righteous perspective? His whole life, if he had to say.

The epiphany that she was physically prying open his third eye with a crowbar, that he was now self aware and changing for the better for her—for himself—hit him all at once.

It was the most frightening sensation of his life, the introvert in him wanting to crawl back into his shell where it was safe and comfortable and dull. But deep down he knew it was also for the best.

“W-why?” He heard himself asking before he knew what he was doing. “Why do you keep saying that?”

He had to know why she insisted on standing by her statement that his mishap was not only hot, but the hottest ever. Why did she insist on lying to him, on giving him false hope? She spoke her mind in every other situation, or at least that’s what he assumed; why did she insist on sparing his feelings in this incident? Was he really that pathetic? Did she pity him that much?

She simply blinked at him once, twice, before: “Because I really like you, Jungkook.”

As if in slow motion, you could visibly see his eyes expand to the size of saucers at your words.

You would’ve found the sight comical had the situation been any different. But the way he continued to disbelieve that you could have feelings for him, that you could be attracted to everything about him despite who he was, despite his inexperience—it made your heart break in your chest. You now knew from where this inferiority complex stemmed—he’d told you himself about his family situation—and if anything, it made you want to rebuild his confidence that much more. He needed to see himself the way you saw him.

But you also didn’t want to overwhelm him, either. And you were more than willing to walk that fine line with Jungkook no matter how long it took.

“So are we on for a study sesh tonight?” You continued nonchalantly, wanting to return things to normalcy for him as much as possible before he ran away mid-conversation as he’d done so many times before. You wanted to ease his self-doubt so he’d stop avoiding you—like he’d been doing the past few days—as much as possible.

Jungkook blinked as if trying to adjust from the whiplash of your subject-change. “U–uh… if you want?”

“Of course I want to,” you replied without missing a beat, not caring how desperate you seemed so long as he didn’t question where you stood. You took a step forward, unable to help the intangible, magnetic draw you felt to him as you gazed up at him beneath your lashes. “That is… if you want to.”

You watched in agony as a gulp slowly raked its way down his throat.

“I–” his voice was hoarse before he cleared his throat. “I uh, can’t tonight. I have to study for math.”

You weren’t even sure how one studied for math, but you weren’t about to question the expert. “That’s fine! We could… do it tomorrow?”

Jungkook chewed at his bottom lip, an action he always did when he was internally struggling with something before he finally nodded his head yes in a slow, hesitant manner. “N–not in my room though,” he added as an afterthought, and when your gaze snapped to his he had a pleading expression in his eyes.

A mix of emotions rolled through you. On one hand, you were horrified at the possibility that he thought the only reason you wanted to study again was so that you could get in his pants. Which—okay, you’re not going to lie, you would love to have a repeat of last week—but that definitely wasn’t why you wanted to see him. He meant more to you than just a means to get off, which was what you’d thought of flings in the past. You didn’t want him to be just a fling, though.

You didn’t want to think of the meaning behind that fact right now, either.

But on another hand, you understood where Jungkook was coming from. Maybe it was because you’d studied him enough over the past few months to learn some of his behavior (for once you finally saw the appeal of studying), so you knew that level of intimacy was probably extremely overwhelming for Jungkook and he needed a moment to step back. Hell, it was even overwhelming for you, and that was saying something. Never had your senses, your heart, your body, your soul been attacked like that with such an abundance of emotional pleasure, and you hoped with all your might that Jungkook was feeling the same—that that was the reason he needed a breather from being alone with you, and not the fact that he just didn’t want to be intimate with you.

Unless…

Oh god, had you misread the situation entirely? Had Jungkook hated everything about that night?

Suddenly you were feeling sick to your stomach. The thought of you misunderstanding his confession—or worse, him changing his mind completely—made you want to escape to a dark and desolate stairwell and cry in the hidden nooks of the windowsill again; the irony that not only would you be pulling a Jungkook by escaping mid-conversation, but that the stairwell was also the place the two of you had your first real conversation, wasn’t lost on you.

“M–my roommate is staying in, studying for finals.” The sound of Jungkook’s voice was like a breath of fresh air whooshing into your lungs after almost drowning underwater. You blinked out of your inner turmoil, focusing on him. “So he’ll be there, i–in my room, this whole week.”

And suddenly your heart was warming with relief, hope, appreciation, like flowers blooming in the spring after a torrential downpour. Just when you thought you had him figured out, this enigma of a boy continued to surprise you. It was usually easy for you to hide your emotions—you’d been doing so for years, always wore a mask around others so that they couldn’t see the real you—and yet somehow, Jungkook must’ve sensed them anyway. He sensed the doubt, the pain, the fear that you vowed never to cage you crawling up your throat and threatening to consume you whole, and he eased it. He didn’t want you to misunderstand him. He wanted to reassure you.

If anything, that was just a testament to how Jungkook had broken down your walls—how much you had let him in, how well he was able to read the emotions you wanted to keep hidden. Your mask had begun to break, the real you showing through the cracks, and Jungkook was still standing here. He hadn’t run away.

You fought the urge to grab him and slam your lips onto his.

“Not in your room, then,” is all you managed to breathe out beneath a fluttering smile.

[ravysu]

Sannin headcanons and thoughts

The last thing I would like to post for the sannin week. It is still 24.04 here! :D @sannin-central

This is long. Spoiler alert. Mostly Orochimaru, some Tsunade, a little of Jiraiya (because his story is pretty clear and spoken and idk what I can add). Also I recommend to read this meta about Orochimaru, it has influenced me a lot and has some good points. Sorry for any posible grammar mistakes. Also I really should put here a lot of references to the manga or anime but it was something that was piling up for a year and I'm soooooooo lazy. After all, those are just headcanons. Also: Im not excusing Oro's bad stuff here, Im trying to understand the reasons.

Ive already posted some hcs, here, here and here.

1. First if all, the chronology pic of sannin lifetime based on the info i found on naruto wiki and also some statements about wars from this post. It was tough considering what a mess naruto’s chronology is.

2. Sannin story shows what it cost to be a legend. They're like Team 7 but more realistic. Tsunade literally carried the war but left with nothing and developed a ptsd and have problems to just live on. Also anger control issues. I think she can be pretty bossy and stubborn which is not always nice. Jiraiya is the hero of the day but also very idealistic and can ignore some important details in the real word whether its the fight (he always injured during flashbacks maybe because each time he took too much to handle and on the one hand it's heroistic but on the other is a mistake that can lead your team to situations like in that Iwa cave) or your friends issues (I bet he saw what's going on but thought it's fine until Oro actually got red handed and left). He lives in his world and may have problems to get out to see it through someone else's shoes. As for Orochimaru, it seems like he was a normal guy for 20+ years (I mean, he didn't do crazy criminal shit and had something good in him and it was stated somewhere that it was his teammates influence. It is obvious they considered him as a friend, I don't thinks it was for nothing) but we mostly know his darkest side. Despite being a moster he is a human that have empathy and some ordinary human traits (man just decorates every bit of an environment he is in lol).

3. Tsunade was the leader of team Hiruzen.

4. Tsunade sometimes hit Jiraiya for some stupid things he did or said but never touches Orochimaru even if he did something same. Jiraiya complained about it once and almost got another hit.

5. Jiraiya had problematic parents that didn't care about him much and a lot of time he was wandering in the streets.

6. Judging by the look of Oro bangs and hair, he sometimes cut it off. A stress relief huh? And the fact that he doesn't do it now in Boruto..

7. It was shown that Tsunade and Orochimaru was acknowledged before they become a team. Maybe they did just before, or maybe some longer time before. I prefer the second option and hc that they met because both had no real friends - Orochimaru seemed weird and scary for everyone and Tsunade was Senju so everyone wanted to hang out with her but didn't really care. They weren't seen as what they were - people put the labels on them. But they didn't care about each other's labels and actually saw each other in true lights.

8. Tsunade knew it was an accident and it's not right but still she blamed Orochimaru for Nawaki's death for some time. It was something that seriously damaged their friendship and the team. Orochimaru was mad but also guilty, after all, he was responsible at least as a shinobi since Nawaki was under his watch. So he started to act cold and emotionless and was trying to distance himself from his teammates.

9. Jiraiya was in Ame while Dan died.

10. The whole his orphans mission was a bit irresponsible tbh. They already fought Hanzo and as he stated the conflict between Konoha and Ame is going to an end with Konoha's win. It's weird to stay here for three years in the middle of the war while there were other lands to fight. He left his teammates for some idea. Maybe that caused another crack in their team friendship.

11. If Tsunade would have find a way to live on with her trauma and follow the will of fire and stuff it would affect Orochimaru as well just as her grief affected him. It's like he would get an example that you can live on with this pain. So death isn't above human capability and we are not just the slaves of mortality (sounds stupid but i dont know how else to describe sorry). But as we know what he actually saw is that it broke her crucially to the point she couldnt be herself again. And so the death is above everything.

12. Oro wasn’t just acting as a cold pragmatic bitch in that cave but also tried to save Tsunade. Jiraiya knew it and that’s why he showed this sign to him like "I see what youre doing here" and that stunned Oro because he would prefer to look rather like a cold pragmatic bitch hehe

13. Just a thought. People in the village probably treated Oro as a foreigner or just wouldnt accept him because he looked so differently and had a weird attitude. That's why he sometimes didn't feel that Konoha is his home. After the wars where people were treated as means and tools, even the children, he himself developed this view on people - he dehumanized them and used as the means to his goals, just as his village did. Funny thing some people were straightly dehumanizing him too like Ibiki thought that he was a demon (tho he was a child). And he probably weren't the only one. Anyways the point is that it's logical that Orochimaru don't care about anybody but some few people, he's the product of his era. He's like Naruto that would chose the hatred way. But naruto had some good and understanding people around him and.. Orochimaru had them too, but match how Iruka treated Naruto and this Hiruzen's "I sAw tHe mAliCe in This cHiLd fRoM tHe BegGinNinG". And oro didn't even have a big ass evil fox in him. sry i hate hiruzen

ANYWAYS the moral of the story is not "go criminal if they hurt you" but always treat people like people. Waving my hand to Kant.

14. The reason why Orochimaru didn't pick some good morals to stick with through the hard times no matter what (like, idk, Jiraiya or Naruto) is because 1) I think he is/was pretty depending on people around him 2) the war fucked him and his friends up too much (Nawaki incident + Tsunade) 3) twisted addictions (though I don't think he's that sadistic, we never saw him torturing randoms just for fun, it was always some science experimental shit. He tends to get fun out of cruelty only when it's personal) that maybe developed as a way to sublimate anger and sadness caused by his parents loss (that's what they share with sasuke - unlicke naruto, they knew their parents and it's other kind of pain. Sasuke developed a revenge issue and Orochimaru - cruelty pleasure which... is kinda the same but less epic and more occasional lol).

15. Speaking of that, Orochimaru cared for Sasuke because he saw himself in him.

16. Oro hold grudges against Hiruzen for not choosing him to be Hokage not only because he was ambitious and/or egoistic, but also because Hiruzen was some kind of a father figure for him and his approval was important tho i doubt he was aware of that. He also probably could tell that Hiruzen was suspicios about him when he was a child and that led to many conflicts and was hurting as well.

17. Tsunade knew things weren't pretty with Orochimaru after the wars but she never expected them to be this bad. During the week that she was given in her arc she thought not only about how much she wants to see Nawaki and Dan again despite how wrong would it be but also was trying to bury all the good memories she had left of Orochimaru so it would be easier to kill him.

18. She poisoned Jiraiya exactly because she knew he would not let her do it. Jiraiya was always hesitant to kill and inclined to forgiveness, while Tsunade, as mentioned by Orochimaru, could be merciless (so much so that he was not surprised when Kabuto suggested that she wanted to use Jira for Edo Tensei).

19. That was one of her traits that scared Jiraiya and fascinated Orochimaru.

20. Remember how Oro grabbed Jiraiya's neck when the latter was trying to cover with hair jutsu? On the snake, in Tsnade's arc. Orochimaru could have easily kill Jiraiya by pulling the sword out of the mouth (arteries are right there) but he didn't. As well as he could kill Tsunade when she was still shaking - just aim for the neck or the heart. Instead, he just injured her lung and kicked her which is not a big deal for the kind of shinoby like her at all.. Also he helped Anko not accidentally kill herself but it would be way much profitable to let her do it. "Orochimaru has no feelings".

21. The reason he suddenly wanted to kill Tsunade instead of forcing her to heal his arms as it was planned (which is weird since it will not going to get him heals and he kinda said that he wouldn't want to kill her just minutes ago) is that not only she refused to help him (he thought he could work it out) but she also prefered the village over him (from his point of view). Out if everyone she was the closest to being able to understand him since the village caused her painful losses too but nevertheless she agreed to be on it's side.

22. He wasn't fighting her back in the end partly because he thought he deserved that. Somewhere deep inside hahah.

23. Tsunade got a fear to develop deep bonds so they probably weren't very close with Shizune (also the way she knocked her down in this hotel.. oh).

24. Orochimaru will be here when she'll die.

25. Orochimaru's eng dub to Tsunade: "I often wondered what it would be like to ring that pretty neck yours". No comments.

26. Orochimaru is either bi/pan or ace. Anything or nothing lmao

27. Hiruzen knew about at least some of the Oro’s illegal experiments and was okay just as he was okay with the Foundation all the time. Because it’s useful. Then he has discovered he went too far OR he knew everything and oro just became too inconvenient because of his methods. The way Orochimaru tells Sasuke about reasons they are well treated as the criminals is based on in his experience with Hiruzen.

28. As you may know the lyrics in Orochimaru’s music theme goes “don’t talk with the silence of the heart”. It was taken from one Indian song that also had lines like “don’t question life too much”, ”pain arose somewhere in the chest”, “don’t speak to the wounds of the heart”. Though I’m not sure 100% because I was translating it with some hindi dictionary with like zero knowledge of hindi

29. I like to think that this “silence of the heart” theme and the fact that he called his village a hidden sound village are somehow connected. The hidden sound is the possible explanation of all things waiting to be listened to but the truth is silent and you know it deep in your heart and it bothers you. The world is silent just like the life is meaningless but people can only hear. *Sigh* anyways

30. Orochimaru’s journey is the one about accepting death. When he saw Karin released her chains while was trying to get to Sasuke he understood that the death is a part of human’s strength.

Can’t wait to feel that everything I wrote is wrong or not enough or stupid and obvious lol. Anyways, it’s something that I wanted to share until I move to some other fandom.