#i dunno how to code in it or understand it

[sylviegirly]

why is figuring out a scrolling text section so hard without using the marquee tag… (context: marquee is retired as an html thing, there’s some CSS solutions but they’re not perfect, and the JS file i found, i have no idea how to initialize)

[somegrumpynerd]

If I could get better at website coding stuff I would love to make a neocities site that's just like, bitty sightings. Like I'll make a couple to get it going but I would love for other peope to be able to submit pictures of bitties in real places like we're documenting a rare species or something

[gayglitterqueen]

vent//

it does suck having had a chiari malformation, especially one that got so bad because i don't even think what it did to my brain counts as brain damage technically but it's been nearly three years since my surgery fixing it and it's still so hard to do so many things that used to be easy. like i can read and write and spell and count and joke and laugh again but reasoning is still so difficult

i hate trying to figure out how to do something because it feels like there's just a gap there where there didn't used to be and a lot of the time now when you ask people for help or clarification they get upset at you and assume you're asking because you're lazy

"just look it up!!" well i tried and the scrambled egg part of my brain still doesn't understand it so what now

i dunno. i know i'm miles better than i used to be, even a year ago, but it's so frustrating to know that i used to be able to think and reason so well and now i just. can't. and i don't even know how to describe to people what's wrong with me

brain damage is the easiest to understand, but is it even right???

[beneaththebloodylake]

i really cant buy the headcanon that phoenix and edgeworth were romantically interested in each other as kids or that they were in love for the 15 or so years they didnt see each other, like it just doesnt make any sense or work at all. but i dont think this actually contradicts the way i think some of those scenes in the anime felt a bit romance coded, or like viewing phoenixs becoming a lawyer for edgeworth as like a romantic gesture? like it wasnt actually motivated by romantic feelings at all but the actual motivations and everything that happens ends up contributing towards a romantic storyline? (from a shipping perpesctive that is obviously)

[cursedthing]

.havign lots of thoughts about how npcs are portrayed learning about the nature of their universe in works

[dasketcherz]

omg they did the wicked thing ! !

just finished reading til the latest chapter of And They Were Roommates by @dreadpirateurania13

gosh i have so much to say about this fic, first off the world building was so much fun to learn about. i didnt grew up an ever after high gurly so i dunno which things are straight from the source material and which are a personal spin but regardless, it was pretty stellar mix of both things !

i am so happy the whole gang is here, it's always a treat to see all of them present in the story on a fic ! and the evolution of varigo's relationship here was hella fun to witness shift over the course of the story, they are so elphaba and glinda coded in the best of ways. I especially love how well set up their clashing beliefs and convictions were, being interwoven to the system they are forced to participate in and watch them develop an ounce of understanding for the other's opinions eventually. also love how natural it felt seeing hugo slowly get dragged involved in varian's circle of friends the way that he did !

and the way vat7k core elements (like varian decoding ulla's research) was slowly implemented into the lore as the plot thickens was so seamlessly done i loved it so much like oughh i ate that up !

overall i enjoyed this fun fic a lot and i am eagerly waiting for the True Hearts Day chapter ! [hyperventilating]

[frvnkcastles]

I just know Frank would feel a different type of pride if reader got her nails done and got the color he suggested.😌☝🏼 He’s like “damn she actually took my opinion into consideration”

YOU PUT MY HEAD IN SUCH A FLURRY ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: You involve Frank in getting your nails done, much to his surprise and delight.

Warnings: Implied sexual content, mostly just fluff, feminine nicknames, language

Word count: 1k

Author’s note: Okay this was supposed to be just a drabble but it kinda got away from me. Anon, you’re absolutely right, he would be so invested and he’d think about it nonstop for days. This was such a wholesome idea, I hope I made it justice <3

He thought it was so silly that you would ask for his opinion on the matter. You getting your nails done in itself wasn’t silly in the slightest — in fact, he enjoyed seeing you get all dolled up and more importantly, he loved how confident you seemed afterwards. It was obviously important to you, and he went out of his way to encourage it, either by driving you to your appointments or even paying for the whole thing.

But asking for his thoughts? He didn’t know what to say, stunned speechless as you stared at him sweetly and expectantly, genuinely curious as to what he was going to answer. He wasn’t stylish or fashionable at all, and he definitely didn’t understand the first thing about color-coding nor did he stay on top of the latest trends. So, when you wondered what he thought your next nail color should be, he struggled to come up with a response.

”Uh… I dunno, darlin’. Don’t wanna give you the wrong answer”, he replied while scratching the back of his neck, his current task of cooking for you on hold as he watched you smile up at him from across the kitchen counter. He knew exactly what your favorite color was, but he supposed that would have been the obvious, no-effort choice.

You chuckled softly, a little amused by his hesitation. ”There’s no right or wrong answer, baby. I just think it’d be nice to have something you picked for me”, you shrugged, insisting that it was just a very casual thing and not something he needed to start sweating over.

A sheepish smile crossed his lips. He was a big fan of your every-day outfits, the way you did your make-up, and yes, also your nails. He knew it mattered to you, so it meant a lot to him that you wanted to involve him in the process.

”Aight, uh, I’mma go with red. Y’know I fuckin’ love seein’ you in red”, he huffed, riled up at the mere thought. It was true — there was no color he didn’t appreciate on you, but whenever you were dressed in red especially, something in him just came to life in a whole new way. He had shown you his admiration multiple times, occasionally resulting in you being late to wherever you were headed just because he couldn’t keep his hands off of you.

You blushed and nodded, receptive to the idea. ”Red it is. Think you can handle it, Frankie?” you teased, very aware of the effect it would have on him. He played it cool, though.

”Guess we’ll have to see, sweetheart”, he challenged you, grinning in that charming way that made your head spin every time.

After the lunch he had been making for you, it was time for your appointment and he made it his responsibility to drive you there, his hand on your thigh as he steered the car. And when you walked in the salon, he held your hand all the way until he couldn’t anymore, giving a look to your go-to nail artist.

”Take good care of my girl, yeah?” he requested, half-joking even if the look in his eyes was grave. You couldn’t hold back a smile, butterflies in your stomach all thanks to his protectiveness over you.

He spent the whole appointment seated in the small waiting area, and the sight of him was so endearing. He wouldn’t touch any of the magazines available, just sat there with his hands folded in front of him and his eyes scanning the area over and over again. Every now and then his alert stare would land on you, and it cracked his stoic expression each time, a small smile tugging on his lips as he watched you ramble to your nail artist about your week.

When you were finally done, you pranced over to Frank, smiling widely and waving your hands in the air with excitement. His heart swelled at your joy, and he tilted his head at you curiously, waiting to see what kind of a look you ended up with.

When he saw the red on your nails, surprise dawned on his face and his smile dropped — not because he didn’t like it, but because he was just that amazed you had taken his opinion into consideration.

”You went with red?” he asked, eyes wide as he met your gaze, so kind and soft. You didn’t really understand what the big deal was, and a little laugh escaped you.

”Of course, I did. That’s what you said, silly”, you reminded, and nodding to confirm, Frank chuckled quietly.

”Yeah, yeah, I did. Just didn’t think… I dunno, just a lil surprised you thought my opinion was that important”, he tried explaining his own surprise, his eyebrows knitted together as he observed the nails, his hand gently grasping yours. You let him take it all in, tilting your hands back and forth to fully appreciate the shine and the details, and it boosted your ego beyond belief. Your nails were a big part of your appearance, and it felt good that Frank always showed love for them, even if he didn’t entirely get it.

”Your opinion is the most important. And now, every time I look at my nails, I’ll think of you”, you explained shyly. Truly touched by your consideration of him, he looked into your eyes and closed the distance between your lips. The kiss was short and sweet, appropriate for being in public, but he hoped it conveyed just how special this moment was to him. And in case it wasn’t, he was already decided on kissing you a lot more at home.

”I’preciate it, sweetheart. Looks real good”, he praised, taking one last look at your nails. Pride surged in his chest — he would have never wanted to take your independence from you, but he liked feeling like he had some kind of claim you. A part of him was with you now, and while it wasn’t permanent, it was enough for him to feel particularly cocky. He had the best girl by his side, after all.

”My gorgeous girl, goddamn”, he muttered under his breath, finding the red incredibly attractive, and it made you grin.

Surely, he was going to show you just how much he liked it later tonight. And he definitely was going to ride this high for days.

[rainrot4me]

i dunno if you listen to hozier, (that man is my pride and joy and im seeing him live for the second time this month iakwjekdks) but masky, and lowkey like, all of the creeps, remind me so, so, much of 'work song.' the fact that their ruthless murderers but y/n is able to see the human in them and understand their hurt, is SO hozier love coded. if youre not a big fan of his, i HIGHLY recommend getting into his music! its basically just poetry with a groovy beat!

I LOVEEE Hozier! I am so jealous that you get to see him live! His music is so gorgeous and beautiful and makes me want to crawl out of my skin with yearning. So, I took the initiative to headcannon the creep’s favorite/most relatable songs:

── .✦

✦ . jeff the killer

“Dinner & Diatribes”

Jeff thrives on chaos, violence, and the intoxicating high of adrenaline. But underneath the bloodlust, there’s a deep craving for someone who sees him and still wants to play with fire. D&D explains the desire for intimacy and closeness with a significant other, while also having to uphold expectations.

“Hell is the talking type / I’d suffer Hell if you’d tell me what you’d do to me tonight.”

Fast-paced, teasing, laced with lust and a little madness. The guitar feels like a heartbeat mid-chase, or the feet chasing behind you. Seems pretty familiar.

✦ . ticci toby

“To Be Alone”

Toby lives in noise: mental, physical, emotional, and he’s learned to become comfortable in it. But he’s also hiding in it. The line between comfort and pain is blurry. Hozier’s rugged vocals and the pounding rhythm mirror the overload Toby constantly lives with.

“But you don’t know the hell you put me through / To have someone kiss the skin that crawls from you.”

Electric, almost ritualistic. It feels like dancing on shattered glass just to feel alive, even when you know you won’t be able to feel the cuts on your feet no matter how hard you stomp.

✦ . eyeless jack

“In A Week” (feat. Karen Cowley)

This song’s haunting tenderness and obsession with mortality perfectly echo Jack’s strange, clinical intimacy. It’s about death, but also about staying with someone through the rot. Romantic in the most macabre way, just like him.

“I have never known peace like the damp grass that yields to me / I have never known hunger like these insects that feast on me.”

Slow, melancholic, and strangely serene. A love song for something dark and eternal. It’s more-so a want for mortality that he lost a long time ago, and imagining that sweetness of death with someone next to him.

✦ . masky (tim wright)

“Work Song”

Masky is made of restraint, guilt, and devotion to a being that couldn’t care less about him buried beneath a cold mask. This song is his heartbeat. It’s about love so powerful, so sacred, it transcends damnation. You are the only thing grounding him, even in death. Is it a savior complex? An obsession? Or just the desire to be wanted for more than his abilities.

“No grave can hold my body down / I’ll crawl home to her.”

A dark gospel hymn. Heavy, aching, and loyal to the bone. He’s not dead, but he’s not alive either. He does things that make him sick, but if he can have a warm hand to hold, maybe it’ll be okay.

✦ . hoody (brian thomas)

“Like Real People Do”

Hoody is a ghost of who he once was. This song is about loving after ruin—awkward, gentle, and sacred. Someone having the ability to look past his faults, forced or not, he desires that wholly.

“I will not ask you where you came from / I will not ask, and neither should you.”

Tender, breathless intimacy. Like whispering in the dark and not expecting an answer, but being pleasantly surprised when someone whispers back.

✦ . ben drowned

“Movement”

Ben is obsession, rhythm, and screen-central horror. Anything he enjoys, he enjoys so potently you’d think he couldn’t live without it. This song is raw, hungry admiration—mesmerized by the things he admires and having unwavering affection for it.

“When you move / Honey, I’m put in awe of something so flawed and free.”

Sexy, powerful, like watching a storm from inside the eye.

✦ . clockwork

“Foreigner’s God”

Clockwork is torn between her rage and the humanity that lingers beneath it. This song reflects her inner war—the feeling of not belonging, of worshipping something that feels too good to exist in her world. It’s the idolization of a better life.

“She feels no control of her body / She feels no safety in my arms.”

Holy desperation. A tragic reverence for love she thinks she doesn’t deserve, but craves wholeheartedly. There’s something so tragic about a girl destined to be hated now craving love.

✦ . laughing jack

“Someone New”

Jack is manic love, fast and unpredictable. This song’s whimsical tone hides deep loneliness—he wants to love, to feel, but it never lasts. Whether as the toy or as himself, he’s always searching for that perfect someone who will cherish and adore him above all else.

“To somehow escapes the burning weight, the art of scraping through / The dark caress of someone else, I guess any thrill will do.”

Bouncy, charming, and tinged with bittersweet ache. The age-old tale of a clown meant to perform, but getting tired of the performances. He wants something real and tangible, something more than the constant.

✦ . slenderman

“No Plan”

Slenderman doesn’t do emotion in the human sense—but this song speaks to his ethereal detachment. He watches the world fall and feels something ancient and slow stir constantly, but it’s always the same question of why. His purpose, his craving, his desire to tear apart and ruin.

“The screaming, heaving fuckery of the world / Why would you offer a name to the same old tired pain.”

Apocalyptic and majestic like a god feeling love for the first time in millennia. There is no reason for him, he just is, purpose only to wreck and destroy.

꩜ .ᐟ

[fazedlight]

Sometimes it really is baffling to understand how Lena was tricked.

Granted, the fandom is biased. We get to see Kara both in her normal clothes and the supersuit, acting as herself. But as others have pointed out, Lena didn't get that experience. Supergirl was often formal, later becoming haughty and judgmental, whereas Kara was all smiles and always supportive of her best friend.

Still, though, it does bother me. Lena saw her face close up, heard her voice over and over again, knew that Kara Danvers had remarkable sway over Supergirl. And Lex - who can read Lena well - thinks it wasn't just about the supersuit, but also a layer of denial that was specific to Lena.

Who the hell experiences that level of denial?

Okay, maybe I did.

Secret identities in superhero shows tend to lend themselves to queer-coded storylines (intentionally or not). It occurs to me that Lena's denial reads the same way, or at least resonates with my experience as a self-closeted queer kid.

Because how the hell do you not realize the two faces you keep staring at are the exact same thing? I dunno, maybe it's a similar level of denial that I had while watching Xena from ages 6-11, thoroughly convinced that Xena was just as straight as I was (... technically true, I guess).

After all, the kiss on the left happened in another realm, and Gabrielle wakes up to find herself heterosexually kissing Autolycus!! And the other scene was just about saving Xena from drowning. And the reason I would get distracted by boobs was just, you know, Normal. I was just comparing my body to theirs, that's all!

People asked me if Xena was gay, and there was never a doubt in my mind that she wasn't. There was a panic - I didn't want them to think I was gay, but they just Didn't Understand The Show. I was drawn to the show for normal feminist reasons and certainly no other reasons, right? A young kid in Catholic school, that was the world I saw.

I too would rather throw myself off a building than think about my sexuality

It wasn't until freshman year of college that I realized I wasn't straight. And it wasn't until months later that I started rewatching Xena, and realized... oh. This is gay. This is very gay. Maybe my mental framework of female friendship should not have been based on this.

And you know what? I still don't get it. I don't know how I could've seen that scene from The Quest and not thought this was a love story. I don't know how I could've felt the jealousy of a close friend getting her first boyfriend, and not realized that I wanted more than a friendship. I don't know how I could've [redacted sapphic experiences with other friends] and thought it was straight behavior.

No, I don't understand how Lena's denial left her so blind. But I don't understand my own blindness when looking back, either. I can't even access that mindset anymore - once I saw, I couldn't unsee, and it's like I can't tap into that again. I didn't know the bell was there for so long, but then it rang and there's no undoing that.

Lena's denial was bizarre... but maybe not entirely unrealistic.

[renthony]

It's always kind of funny to me when people are surprised that I like things with raunchy humor. People don't get why I watch, much less enjoy, shows like Hazbin Hotel or Big Mouth.

Nobody's surprised when I latch onto the latest fantasy adventure with a campy queer-coded villain. Likewise with anything that satirizes or analyzes Hollywood culture, delves into themes of censorship, or features characters with some sort of dual identity. Absolutely nobody is confused by my love of gay wizards and mad scientists.

Yet, for some reason, there are always people who get confused when I get into whatever new show is being called "ugly" or "raunchy" or "problematic" or "gross."

I don't really understand why that is, considering how often I reblog posts about John Waters (who, for the record, is set to appear in an upcoming Helluva Boss episode, which I am fucking hyped for). I love raunchy shit with "ugly" art styles and "unpleasant" characters. I love when queer characters get to be fucked up little weirdos who make big messes. I myself am a fucked up little weirdo who has made big messes in life.

I don't expect that to be everyone's cup of tea, but it's weird to me that people see "enjoys raunchy comedy" as an incompatible trait with "can discuss media studies in an educated manner." Sometimes it feels like people have fallen into the very incorrect idea that "someone enjoying raunchy comedy = that person is stupid, uncouth, automatically bigoted, and morally inferior."

I dunno. Sometimes it feels like tumblr only likes John Waters because they can abstract him into the vague idea of "important queer elder." They skip over the part where his movies have people eating feces and shoving dinner meat up their pussies.

Raunchy, weirdo art isn't for everyone. But there's a decent amount of it that is for me, and there's a decent amount that might actually be for you if you can stop making snap judgments about things based on internet discourse and figure out your personal brand of weird.

In short:

[samjokjak]

as someone who both knows morse code and has written many papers breaking down works of music, i need people to understand a few fanon misconceptions about the divine beast SOSs:

the signals are in time with the music (except for daruk), so urbosas SOS is actually the fastest, followed by revali, daruk, and finally mipha as the slowest. the SOSs do not change speed or become more frantic.

they are all roughly (if not exactly) the same volume pre-audio-mixing, and do not grow louder or softer.

the other signal present that some identify as "seek and destroy" (ill be calling it Bob for convenience) shows up in three different forms between all the divine beast themes. only one instance of Bob sounds like "SAD", and only if you squint your ears.

none of the SOSs are gradually overtaken or drowned out by Bob. the SOSs just loop until you stop them by activating the first terminal.

i dunno, i get that current fanon around the signals is simple and compelling, but i feel there's a missed opportunity for deeper storytelling there. if we want to headcanon the divine beast music as reflecting how things went down between the champions and the blights, what scenarios would we come up with if we tried to match what we can actually hear?

how would the story of each fight play out if we tried to interpret details that fanon ignores, like:

urbosas and daruks signals are constant and regular. miphas and revalis are intermittent and irregular. their respective Bobs do the same. why?

daruks signal and its Bob are the only ones not in time with the music. why?

miphas Bob is cut one dit short. why?

the SOSs play in one ear, while Bob plays in the other. however, the guys both get the right ear, while the gals get the left. why?

when the first terminal is activated and the SOSs stop, they are replaced by Bob in both ears (except in medoh). Bob is delayed a beat in the right ear. in both ears, Bob stutters or glitches every fourth Bob. why?

in medoh, activating a terminal starts up a Bob in the left ear and a whining sound in the right instead of two Bobs like in the other beasts. the whine is not a constant flatline, but is instead a meandering climbing melody. why?

medoh is the only beast to feature its pilots theme music. why?

Bob trails after revalis SOS, but just barely precedes daruks. it alternates between doing both with mipha. urbosa and her Bob both kinda do their own thing. why?

the speed-up that people hear is actually the whole music track increasing in tempo when you active the last terminal. only Bob is playing by now; the SOSs stopped four terminals ago. does this have any relevance to the blight fights or is this a present day link thing?

Bob is always lower than the SOS in pitch...except for daruks. why?

Bob is always makes the musical interval of a perfect fourth with the SOS...except for urbosas, which is a dissonant minor second away. why?

...and thats enough for now. maybe you find something in there inspiring. run with it, and show me what you come up with!

also, yes, i will be getting back to posting art on my other account once the current hyperfixation wears off. dont worry, people irl think im dead too, but ill be back eventually.

[luminescentlama]

Decrypting the morse code in the new QSMP teaser (a detailed explanation)

Quackity's new teaser for QSMP 2 (or something??) contained a long sequence of morse code which I... spent like 6 hours decrypting, and this is an explanation of how I did it (and you can, too, shall you wish to!)

I also posted a shorter analysis on my blog where I looked at all the different aspects of the video (the spoken words, the words flashing on the screen AND the morse code) in case you wanna learn more about the video in general.

The only program I used for this was audacity, which is free and which you can download quite easily.

Getting the audio ready

First, I recorded the audio by playing the video in one tab and recording it via Audacity in another using a tutorial here. Before that, I tried to use VLC, but it has a bug that makes it so it will only record the video and not the audio. Still, useful if you only want the video!

After I had the audio of the whole video, I needed to extract the morse code since in some sequences, it would be literally impossible (at least for me, dunno about you superhuman) to understand the morse code due to all the background noise. To do this, I first looked at a sequence where there was ONLY the morse code and nothing else and analyzed the spectrum of this.

This 'spectrum' is essentially just a graph of how much sound of a certain frequency (measured in Hz) is in a certain snippet that I selected.

The top is the frequency of the morse code, so the plan is to keep this frequency (469 Hz) and throw everything else out.

In order to do this, I used the menus which you can find in audacity under 'effects -> Dominic Mazzoni,' reduced the volume of everything above 480 Hz by 48 Db (there is an option for how much you want to reduce it, but seeing as we don't need it at all we might as well reduce it as much as possible) and same for everything below 460.

After cutting it, I was left with a recording of (mostly) only the morse code.

Decoding the morse code

Of course, I tried to do it the lazy way and punched the thing into a software which is supposed to be able to get morse code from recordings, CwGet. Did not work though, the thing is like REALLY old so I'd recommend searching another one. The only thing it DID grab correctly was 'is sacred im coming' but besides that it was just... bs.

SO, I had to do it myself.

(the best flowchart for morse code I was able to find)

Now, I won't bore you with all of the stuff where I wasn't sure about something and had to go over it over and over again, but one thing I do want to mention is that, in a very specific part, I did the filtering thing again, this time with 465 and 475 Hz though, and got an even cleaner result out of that. BUT, the more you do that the quieter the whole thing gets so I had to crank up the volume everywhere all the way. You hear it more clearly but it's quieter.

The following is, of course, not completely guaranteed to be true, but it sounds like the most logical one to me. IMSORRY .. -- ... --- .-. .-. -.-- IMSORRY .. -- ... --- .-. .-. -.-- IMSORRY .. -- ... --- .-. .-. -.-- PLEASEHELP .--. .-.. . .- ... . .... . .-.. .--. HELPHELP .... . .-.. .--. .... . .-.. .--. SOSSOSSOS ... --- ... ... --- ... ... --- ... ITSNOTREAL .. - ... -. --- - .-. . .- .-.. ITSNOTPOSSIBLE .. - ... -. --- - .--. --- ... ... .. -... .-.. . TOHAVETHIS - --- .... .- ...- . - .... .. ... YOUAREMEANT -.-- --- .-- .- .-. . -- . .- -. - FORTHISYOU ..-. --- .-. - .... .. ... -.-- --- ..- AREMEANT .- .-. . -- . .- -. - FORTHISYOU ..-. --- .-. - .... .- ... -.-- --- ..- AREMEANT .- .-. . -- . .- -. -

1:27 in the recording RETURNTOYOUR .-. . - ..- .-. -. - --- -.-- --- ..- .-. Still unresolved what the following could mean (different versions): ORIEFIRL --- .-. .. . ..-. .. .-. .-.. ORIFISL --- .-. .. ..-. .. ... .-..

And also still unresolved but I only have one version for this: GFBEYAMMD --. ..-. -... . -.-- .- -- -- -..

THATWALL - .... .- - .-- .- .-.. .-.. ITISCURSED .. ... -.-. ..- ..-. ... . -.. ITISSACRED .. - .. ... ... .- -.-. .-. . -.. IMCOMING .. -- -.-. --- -- .. -. --. BAC -... .- -.-. I still haven't been able to find the missing k 'back' technically has, it is possible it comes WAYYYY later and so I don't have it in my recording, but I think the message is clear enough.

There are still passages where I am completely unsure what they mean. It could be me not understanding it correctly, but the rest has been fairly easy so I don't know about that. It could also be encrypted or just complete bullshit. Either way, if you want to give it a try and see if you can make something of it, please feel free to give it a listen!

The complete text reads as:

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry please help, help, help SOS SOS SOS It's not real, it's not possible to have this You are meant for this You are meant for this You are meant [to] return to your (ORIEFIRLGFBEYAMMD/ORIFISLGFBEYAMMD (yes no idea either)) That wall, it is cursed It is sacred I'm coming bac[k].

brackets [ ] where there should be something in order for it to make sense but there isn't.

[the-path-to-redemption]

I dunno if you still do P5 critical content here but one thing I really don’t like about the game is…Makoto. I feel that she’s the weakest member of the entire team with how she’s got such a nebulous role as “tactician” when Joker and Futaba do everything she can and more, her attitude towards Ann regarding what happened with Shiho as an answer to a genuine question about why she didn’t do anything with Kamoshida (it’s understandable that she couldn’t act as much as she could have but Ann still deserved a clearer answer), her theming is incredibly weak since Pope Joan doesn’t really do anything rebellious like the rest and it doesn’t even have an internal reform thing, her Confidant doesn’t even focus on her, her design as a thief is meh and most people only remember it because bike and ass shots…overall, Makoto feels the most slapped on out of all the thieves and that’s not even getting into the arc she debuts in.

I try not to post too much critical content of Persona 5 here, because despite the flaws I find with it, it's still one of my favorite games of all time. I genuinely enjoy it, and I don't want my only contribution to it to be all critical and no fun. That level of anger is reserved for another series on this blog, and I would like to work on my own P5R AU mostly.

But I do see where you're coming from, anon, but I don't think the problems many people have with Makoto come from the character herself, but rather are manifested as a product of a very prominent issue of how P5 handles a lot of its female characters. In my opinion, the issues that Makoto has aren't a "Makoto Is a Badly Written Character" issue, but a "The Female Characters of P5 Are Better Conceptualized Than Executed" issue.

Long Post Ahead. Spoilers for Persona 5, Persona 5 Royal, and Persona 5 Strikers.

Let's go through this together step by step.

Makoto as the Tactician of the Thieves

I've seen this argument come up quite often. I can see why people say that Makoto's official role as the tactician of the Phantom Thieves isn't a very apt description of what she actually contributes to the team, and you're right that the planning of the operations soon falls to Joker, Futaba, and, to an extent, Akechi. But just because the other brainiacs of the team rolled up to show out, that doesn't mean that Makoto isn't a brilliant tactician in her own right.

Makoto is a genuinely marvelous planner! She's highly aware of her situation, even in high-tension ones, and she earned her place as the brain of the Thieves. Makoto was the one who figured out the locking mechanism of the Bank Palace's second half, she managed to memorize Kaneshiro's pass code for his money case after watching him while in great danger, her navigation lines and Confidant trait Shadow Calculus are solid evidence that her mind is as sharp as ever even in combat. And the way that she stayed calm and was skilled enough to drive the others to safety during the Pyramid Palace's collapse was nothing short of awesome!

Makoto is a great tactician! Holy shit, she was the one who came up with the plan to spread the Calling Card with Ryuji without either of them being caught, while the initial Thieves' best plan for distracting Yusuke was...Looney Tunes shenanigans. Makoto has on multiple occasions showcased her intelligence, which has saved her friends and gotten them out of trouble, and that shouldn't be discounted because there are other brainiacs on the team later on.

The problem is that, and I think this is where people find issue in the portrayal of her intelligence (and by proxy, her role as the tactician), is that a lot of the feats where she's proven herself to be smart were...told to us, instead of shown to us.

I know I just used this example above to prove her capabilities, but the way that Makoto just knows Kaneshiro's pass code was a bit strange to me. Yes, I know that she said that he has opened and closed the case so many times that she managed to memorize it, but when was that? When we see her on-screen with him, she was pinned to the ground, and Kaneshiro was just yapping. It wasn't until the Thieves got there to help her that Makoto actually saw him open the case to get some cash. When were the other times he had opened and closed the case that she could possibly remember its pass code?

It's such an easy fix as well; show us a brief moment in Makoto's sprite that she noticed his movement on the case, and have her occasionally mumble the pass code to herself before she actually opens it. It's much more impressive, and we can actually believe Makoto when she said that she saw Kaneshiro use the pass code.

Another example of her intelligence was told and not shown was the aftermath of the Interrogation Room, where we found out that it was Makoto who realized that Sae might have a cognitive version of Akechi walking around and that will screw up their plan, so they had to take care of him in time. Now, where did we see this brilliant display of quick wits?

From Futaba. Who relays it to us. In an optional dialog. After the fact. Instead of seeing a flashback of it.

Deadass, the first time I've ever played P5, I didn't even talk to Futaba after we were caught up. That tibbit of information is fucking optional, and easily missable if you just...don't care enough to talk to Futaba.

That's such a disservice to Makoto! Futaba gets to have all the screen time showcasing her intelligence, and Akechi actually shows us how smart he is in the Casino Palace! Why doesn't Makoto get to show her smarts on screen, and was told to us instead? To me, that's why it's hard for people to actually believe that she's the brilliant tactician that the game wants us to believe she is. But she is one. I just wish we got to see it more on-screen.

Makoto, Ann, Shiho, and Shujin.

I'm gonna get a lot of flak for this, but like...

Makoto did not know about the extent of Kamoshida's abuse of the student body. She didn't know about the extent of Ann's struggle. And she for fucking sure did not know that Shiho was abused to the point of jumping off the roof.

Yes, Ann deserved a better answer about what happened to her best friend. Anyone would, but it's asinine to expect anyone but the adults around them to give her that answer. Makoto is not the one who should be responsible to give Ann a better answer, when she wasn't even properly informed about the abuse.

I'm not defending her initial behavior here; yes, it was wrong for her to approach them with an abrasive manner initially, and it wasn't the best response to Ann accusing her of not doing anything about Kamoshida by referring to him as a good teacher before the scandal. But the point of the scene was to show that both girls were right and wrong in a very unfortunate situation that neither of them was at fault for.

The way Makoto responded to the Thieves on the rooftop was an unhealthy defensive mechanism not uncommon for people in environments like Makoto has been; Makoto has spent a majority of her life, especially in her most formative years, being told to obey and put her all into being the best, and if she stepped out of line, all of her efforts will be taken away from her. Makoto, in the beginning, was someone who was dismissed over and over again by the people around her, the adults around her, so her only way to be heard and taken seriously by her peers was to react abrasively to their scorn. She cannot do that to adults because that would cost her, and unfortunately, that manifested into her very unhealthy style of social interaction.

Again, this isn't to excuse her actions before awakening to her Persona; this is explaining that it's not uncommon for someone who was pressured into being a pushover by their authority figures to try and defend themselves by overly defending their bad actions. To Makoto, this is the way she has rationalized herself into believing that her perspective will be heard this way, and to others, her efforts will look like excuses.

And it's not like Makoto doesn't care about her fellow students. In the Royal expansion, we see Makoto asking a teacher to help with the situation and trying to fix it, and what was the answer she was given?

The teacher, an authority figure, an adult, did not want to get himself involved when a student just tried to commit suicide. Makoto was given an excuse when she rightfully turned to someone she thought she could rely on. And when she once again rightfully demanded an answer from the highest form of authority at Shujin, Principal Kobayakawa, he told her to fuck off and held her opportunity for better secondary education hostage so Makoto doesn't pry more.

Makoto is stuck between a rock and a hard place here, where the adults at Shujin scapegoated her to mitigate the consequences of their negligence and the student body of Shujin treats her like a fucking spy. That's not fucking fair, and to expect her to know better is wrong when an abuser like Kamoshida only got to this point was because the people who can stop him refuse to do so.

Yes, Ann deserved a better answer. No, Makoto isn't the one who should be expected to give her that answer. She is another teenager who was exploited by the same environment that left Ann to suffer, and to pitch them against each other in anyway is fucking dumb. I'm sorry that I'm being harsh, but Makoto made a mistake that she is constantly fixing and rectifying, she did not told Ann to fuck off or that Shiho deserved it or anything truly warrant unforgiveness. Even Ann herself acknowledged that she fucked up with how she treated Makoto, and both girls decided to move on together as friends. That's growth! That's the right thing to do; both girls forgave each other, recognized their failings, and became friends on their own volition.

If the Persona fandom can look past Yusuke blackmailing the Thieves when Ann refused to model nude and the boys asking about Madarame's mistreatment of his pupils, it's absolutely hypocritical to not even try to let Makoto right her wrong for doing the same thing, which she has apologized for.

If the Persona fandom is going to shit on Makoto for not knowing the extent of abuse because it was hidden to her on purpose, then the priority is completely fucked. The people who should be scrutinized in the tragedy surrounding Shiho are her abuser, Kamoshida, and the adults who let him get this far. NOT A FUCKING TEENAGER.

These kids deserved better than to have a school that only doesn't care about them, but is actively pitting them against each other just to save their reputation that the adults have tarnished. Makoto is one of those kids, like Ann, like Shiho, and so many others, who make mistakes and try to fix them so that they don't become their abusers. At least give her that.

Pope Joan and the Rebellious Soul of a Woman

I think it's important for the audience to understand the story and the relevance of Pope Joan in order to understand Makoto (and to an extent, Sae); Pope Joan was allegedly the only female pope of the Catholic Church during an age where it acted not only as a religious organization, but also as one of the most powerful socio-political force in the European world (and even beyond). That is, if anyone rebelled against its structures and what it deems as "justice", they are as good as dead and condemned by their own world.

The Church and the Papacy were, and still are, a power governed by patriarchal enforcers, and for women, it served as a looming threat over their existence and autonomy as people. By mercy, they're considered witches for being different than what was expected of them by the Church, so imagine a woman acting as the highest authority of that power when that same power demonizes her existence.

A woman who defied the structures and expectations of the main judicial power of her world and placed herself as its highest authority is relevant not only to Makoto's existence in the narrative of Persona 5, but it is also relevant to the themes of social rebellion that make up the foundation of Persona 5.

Think about it; she's the highest authority in the student body, but her existence there is constantly in jeopardy because of the disadvantages the overall environment traps her in, but her Confidant shows her wanting to reform it and extend that to her future career for the betterment of society. Her more tomboy-adjacent style and hobbies defy what the traditional Japanese expectations of women want her to be, and it plays into the traits of her Arcana, the High Priestess, which is created after the visage of Pope Joan. She's justice-driven, empathetic, and angry that people would exploit the weak using the gaps in a flawed justice system. The system that consumed her sister in a prison of envy and bitterness.

Sae's anger towards the patriarchal society that puts her down when she no longer has the support of a man, her father, who she loved and admired, created the Casino. You know what's one of the greatest sins the Church commits in its crusade to maintain an unjust socio-political order?

Monetary exploitation of the people and allowing its members to gamble it away for better political standings in the name of "justice".

And what does Makoto want to do?

Reform that system so no one else has to suffer injustice.

So yeah, Johanna is more than important to the story of P5. And if I'm being honest, she's not the worst usage of Persona concerning the user's personal story in the narrative.

Is Makoto the Worst/Best Girl in Persona 5?

I'm going to say she's a good "middle" tier girl. Yes, I know I just yapped on and on in her favor, but in all honesty, Makoto is just an...okay for me. She has many more merits than people seem to give her, but she also has more flaws in her characterization than most of her diehard fans would admit. She's not the best, but there are certainly worse character writings than hers in the main female cast alone.

Regarding her PT outfit, I think it's okay. But it's mostly because she makes it work, and there are other designs that are so much fucking worse than hers. Sure, the amount of ass shots are annoying, but it has nothing on Ann's "LoOk aT aLL oF mY cURveS iN ThIS SkIn-TiGht aNd EmBaRRassiNGLy ImPRacTIcaL" catsuit, or Yoshizawa's "basically waifu Joker that hurts my character growth more than aids it" nightmare of an outfit, or Sophia's "discounted Eve from Wall-E" sorry excuse of a design.

Between those and the two others that are better suited for the characters, Makoto's actually decent. The only thing I would change about it is that I would add more red to the design and choose a different torso armor, but it serves its purpose.

Yes, I would agree that her Confidant story doesn't really focus on her, but again, it's not as bad as Ann's. My major problem with Makoto's characterization during her Confidant is her wish to become a cop; sure, the head cop that can possibly change the system, but how long until she actually gets to that point? And this point only became even more relevant in Strikers when Zenkichi became disillusioned with his occupation after it failed him, and even before that, Makoto saw how it drove Sae into a corner.

And most importantly, the person she confides this desire to is a victim of police brutality.

Oh, not to mention, Makoto would be the last person who should be a fucking cop. She's impulsive, stubborn, headstrong, and extremely confrontative when she sees injustice in the world; you can argue that it makes her not a corrupted cop, but this woman fucking bust into a criminal den by herself and slapped her friend to wake her up from a dangerous solution! That impulsivity would have her end up dead if not controlled at worst, and put others in danger at best!

If the writers want Makoto to become someone who can reform the justice system and actually prevent inequality in the force, for the love of fucking Philemon, have her aspire to be a defense attourney, a criminal analyst, a criminal justice researcher, or a fucking judge. Any of those profession would actually benefits society more than adding another cop into an already flawed and violent organization, where assholes like Shido can exploit for their own selfish means.

Atlus is absolutely terrible at sticking to its ACAB message when the premise of the story starts with the protagonist getting battered by cops at the command of a corrupted politician, but guess what? We shouldn't actually want our audience to question the corrupted criminal justice system that actually contributes to the inequalities of our society, they should keep believing that it's actually salvageable without a complete reformation and to expect the authorities to face the consequences of their deliberate shortcomings; we need to sell this game after all.

And that particular point rounds us back to my biggest problem of Persona 5's treatment of its characters; in comparison to the male characters, even in the main cast, the female characters have so many more flaws than merits when it comes to the prioritization of story beats in their personal journey. Makoto isn't the worst girl or even tacked onto the story; she's just utilized much less effectively for the character she is, and like other girls, there is an emphasis on her being a waifu first, and a character second.

But when you look at Makoto and compare her to the other girls, holy shit, she's actually way more lucky and interesting than what they were given. At least her sexuality isn't being made into a joke despite not giving her any agency in it, and, thank the heavens, she actually allowed to interacts with other characters aside from Joker for more than 10% of the game and isn't written as a fucking Satellite despite the fascinating psychology behind her conceptualization.

TL;DR, Makoto has some issues, but her issues aren't her fault, and she is actually better off than some other female characters in the Phantom Thieves alone. Those issues are more of symptoms of an ongoing problem with Atlus not treating its female characters with more interest compared to their male counterparts, and it's unfair to only use Makoto as a scapegoat for that problem when she's honestly a good mid-tier member overall.

[velvetvexations]

What do you think is the best way to refer to a system member who identifies as transfem in a majority non-transfem system? The rest of us are a mix of cis and cis-adjacent girls, nonbinary folks, and transmascs.

She's an introject of a transfem-coded character (Gwen Stacy in the Spiderverse movies) and being transfem is part of her memories and how she sees herself. But I don't know if that's like? Enough to count?

I'm not saying that she's not trans because she is, but she's also, in a sense, cis-adjacent by virtue of being a girl in the body of someone expected to be a girl. I know that AFAB transfems exist and I support them but my understanding is that it's specifically an intersex experience (correct me if I'm wrong about that).

We did find a microlabel that fits, "Endofem/endogirl", but the definition uses the term TME, which makes me nervous, and I also just don't know how useful such a niche microlabel would be for actually helping describe her experience. I think microlabels are great for anyone who wants to use them, but the semantic value of a word is greatly reduced when maybe 100 people in the whole world already know what the word means without needing it explained to them. (At that point you might as well just explain what you're experiencing in a full sentence and cut the middleman out entirely, right?)

I dunno. Being a system is fucking confusing. Appreciate any advice you have as a trans woman and fellow sys

Only radfems care about this, she's a trans girl and I love her. One of our headmates is a cis woman in spite of us having a body that was AMAB. Do what you want always and forever.

[livewireprojects]

Weird Metal Future AU

A while back I had this random idea for an AU were it’s sonadow in the far off future but it’s technically Shadow x Metal Sonic or at least it is at first

Shadow & Metal have outlived everyone, I dunno if Shadow & Sonic were together or not but Shadow had feelings for him & Metal had moved on from trying to be the real Sonic(having found an identity of their own) with help from their friends as well as their late wife Amy(died of old age). At some point when everyone was adults Shadow was away for some time & when he returned Sonic had died in an accident due to fighting a villain or something.(Even if Eggman possibly retires there’s always going to be someone to deal with at some point)

Shadow misses Sonic & ends up becoming close to Metal thanks to them becoming friends in the past as well as the fact they understand each other due to losing people they cared for that helped them out in the past. Metal at some point tries to get closer but Shadow is scared because he doesn’t want to use Metal as a replacement for Sonic. Metal accepts this & does their best not to try anything Shadow doesn’t want but at some point some adventures lead to the two bonding more than they already have & eventually becoming a couple.

Now I mentioned earlier that at first this looks like Shadow x Metal & that’s because at some point Shadow learns that his partner isn’t Metal. This person is actually Sonic who has technically become a cyborg thanks to Metal’s body. During the time of accident that lead to Sonic dying by some miracle Sonic was saved by having his consciousness put into Metal who was willing to share their body with Sonic. The two dealt with sharing a body for years as well as dealing with Sonic’s death as he lost his body, technically was dead & besides close friends(plus Eggman) no one knew Sonic was alive.

At some point when Amy passed away Metal allowed their consciousness to fade away as a way of passing on with her leaving Sonic as the only one in their body. Sonic ended up mourning in private(along with any friends still alive) as no one else could know Sonic was still alive plus Shadow didn’t know.

Shadow was never told because he had trouble dealing with Sonic’s death & there was really never a chance especially with how crazy it sounded. By the time it was just him & Sonic(Omega is possibly still around, he hangs out with them & is aware of Sonic’s secret) Sonic couldn’t say anything without Shadow thinking Metal believed they were Sonic again. Plus they’re in the far off future, have grown close enough to talk about themselves & about their past friends so Sonic can’t really get much evidence(maybe there’s a chance by checking Sonic/Metal’s coding cause there was likely a change due to Sonic being added) nor answer questions only he could answer cause it could be something Shadow heard from Tails, the real Metal when they were alive, Sonic himself while pretending to be Metal or someone else.

I’m not sure how Shadow finds out, want to guess it’s found out in some way during an adventure or maybe something lead to Omega confessing for Sonic & Shadow ended up finding a way to confirm it. Either way Shadow finds out & Sonic doesn’t have to pretend he’s Metal anymore.

It’s awkward between Shadow & Sonic because Shadow had accepted he was likely dating Metal & Sonic is struggling to get use to being himself around Shadow. I’m sure Sonic has been able to be himself while alone or around certain people but he’s had to pretend to be Metal in public for the longest time especially when it was his turn to control the body.(There’s also the fact due to circumstances he had to keep everything a secret from Shadow)

Eventually they’re able to come to terms with everything, they start over due it being Shadow & Sonic now instead of Shadow & Metal. Especially since Sonic while partly being himself had to pretend to be Metal & was accepting his fate so now Shadow is technically getting to reknow his partner, Sonic gets use to being himself again, they also end up mourning Metal since Metal is officially gone now.(If their friends/family’s graves are still there since a lot of time passed & things changed they setup a grave for Metal next to Amy’s)

Eventually things return to normal but with Sonic being there as a fully robot body cyborg instead of Metal.(I dunno how to explain this & this might be going in circles now)

I want to imagine at some point Sonic some how gets a flesh body back & ends up kind of like Shadow(immortal & shit) because despite having a robot body that can be considered immortal it’ll eventually break down even with constant repairs if possible. These two are going to eventually give Omega a funeral. They’re in the far off future so something could happen plus Shadow was made in a lab so maybe there’s a miracle somehow.(Maybe by some miracle someone had some how gotten DNA from Sonic’s original body before it rotted away so cloning was involved which could help)

Shadow despite losing everyone close to him over time is able to have Sonic stay by his side & isn’t going to be alone in the next far off future.

At some point I kind of imagine Shadow & Sonic carved Shadow’s name into the grave made for Sonic when his original body. I forgot how to word this but it’s kind of a way to allow Shadow to kind of be laid to rest with the rest of his friends/family & since he & Sonic are partners may as well put his name on Sonic’s grave. Shadow & Sonic are still the same but they’ve changed, while they’ll likely never get to see their friends again in the afterlife due to being immortal they can in a way say a part of them moved on with everyone else as the two head toward new adventures & possibly new friends.(Likely meeting Silver cause of how far they are into the future or if you’re me Silver is their son)

Edit: I semi thought about this but was too tired to think/talk after finishing this post(4 in the morning)

It’s really ironic & sad that the tables have kind of turned for Sonic & Metal. Metal use to believe they were the real Sonic & Sonic was the imposter when they still worked for Eggman but years later after after they left Eggman’s side, found their own identity & a life for themself & even became Sonic’s friend Sonic now has to be the Metal imposter. I’m sure when Metal was alive they both talked about the irony & comforted each other over issues because they understand the feeling of being called imposter despite the context being different for both.(I dunno where I’m going)

Now Metal is gone(admittedly he could & has talked to Omega but it’s hard cause Omega never had to deal with shit like this) & Sonic can’t really be himself around Shadow because Shadow wouldn’t believe him without proof that he knows he doesn’t have or possibly can’t use. I’m sure Sonic eventually realizes there’s some proof he can use & Omega can vouch for him especially since Shadow eventually finds out this is Sonic in Metal’s body. Even then I don’t think anyone they know now cares about Sonic being Metal, sure Sonic when he was still Sonic is seen as a legend due to being a well known hero in his time but I’m sure the descendants of his friends know.(I dunno where I’m going)

There’s also issues because again Sonic has had to pretend to be Metal for a long time. Shadow & Sonic had to start over because for a while now Shadow thought he was friends with & starting a relationship with someone else after having carried feelings for Sonic who he thought was dead. Shadow started a relationship with “Metal” after bonding with them & finally accepting he wasn’t thinking of Metal as a replacement for his crush that died long ago.

Now he’s learning Metal died a little after Amy passed & this Sonic/technically a stranger this entire time. Not to mention it probably feels like the ability to be with Sonic now feels like replacing Metal. Sonic understands this & gives Shadow space but with open lines if he needs anything because he understands things have been made worse.

There’s a lot of psychological shit I don’t fully understand nor can explain but they (likely with help from Omega & their friends from this current time) eventually work things out, start over, help each other change/recover & finally become a couple. It’s likely still hard deal with the fact Sonic hid things due to situations but they talk things out(probably get a lot of therapy) & work things out.

Sonic probably starts talking to Shadow about things he use to talk to Metal about now that he feels like he can lean on Shadow’s shoulder & be more open. The two are more open as time goes on & with help they’re able to move on & mourn Metal while giving Metal a proper funeral that they deserved even if they can’t burry the body.

Shadow likely has to deal with the worry of losing his boyfriend again because Sonic lost his body while Shadow was away & it likely eats him up inside. Not to mention while robots are technically immortal Sonic’s body & Omega are going to break down eventually & Shadow likely won’t always be able to replace the needed parts or make new ones.

Sonic ending up in a flesh body at some point & immortal like him(this is a repeating thing with my shit, mortal lover getting to stay with immortal lover some how) is both a blessing & probably leads to more worries.

The two have a lot to work on but they eventually work through things, work things out, move on together & finally are able to make peace with everything as time goes on. They know they’ll lose people again especially Omega one day who is the last of their original friends from Sonic’s time but he & the others will live in the two’s memories & the two have each other so Shadow isn’t walking the Earth alone one day.

I dunno where else I’m going cause I’m having trouble explaining & this is starting to feel like it’s going in circles now.

[tawked]

Cyclops is autistic, right?

From what I've seen of the character so far: he's very literal; he often feels that everybody around him is acting on some unknowable layer of complexity he can't understand; he sometimes struggles to grasp peoples' reactions to him when as he sees it he's just being him; he commits social faux pas without realizing pretty often; he constantly feels like he's relaxing incorrectly; and he pulls the literal baddest bitch later on.

All of which just seem like how people with autism describe their experiences of being autistic.

idk if he's ever confirmed as on the spectrum later on or anything, but it really would not shock me. He feels based on someone's mate with Asperger's or something, like a more grounded, sympathetic and less clown-coded version of Frank Spencer, if that makes sense.

I've also read some takes that Kirby himself might've been on the spectrum, and not to be a conspiracy theorist about media or whatever, but having read the Kirby X-Men run I've always seen a lot of disability text, not even subtext but straight up neon-obvious "this is about disability" text, in that run. So I dunno, I don't know if Kirby ever discussed this, but Cyclops just has that vibe.

He's got that "probably intended to be some concept of autistic, written by people who lacked the vocabulary" dawg in him, imo.