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jingabitch · 4 years

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Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell ch.4

SUMMARY: when you were ten, taehyung adopted you and gave you a home. now that you’re eighteen, the sudden change in your scent perplexes and confounds him.

PAIRING: wolf hybrid!tae x human!reader (all bts members are hybrids)

WORD COUNT: 10.5k

RATING: explicit

A/N: again, I am a liar because this story is still not complete. nevertheless, i hope you guys enjoy this!

I don’t do tag lists, so please don’t ask.

Also, shoutout to my wonderful betas @knjkitten and @seoul9711 for going over this for me! yall are the greatest 💕

series index

Spring means spring showers. Usually that’s something Taehyung kind of enjoys, because it means the weather is getting warmer, and who doesn’t love curling up in bed on rainy mornings (or afternoons, or evenings)?

This spring, though, is different. The boys, after hearing Taehyung shamefully confess that he’d kicked you out, assuming that you’d head right over to one of them, had immediately torn into him for being an irresponsible owner. They were especially upset because he hadn’t told them the entire story, ashamed to let them know that he’d started a sexual relationship with his pet human and not ready to talk about the whole imprinting debacle. To them, he’d simply lost his cool over something petty and done something stupid.

Then they’d organized and strategized, planning to comb through Seoul to try and find you. It was a good thing that all of them were predator hybrids, with enhanced abilities to sniff you out. This rain, though… it was making things difficult, washing away your residual scent. It was bad enough that they were trying to track you two weeks after you’d gone missing, but it had been consistently raining this whole time, and that meant it would be next to impossible to track you down using your scent.

Spring showers meant another problem: no one was picnicking if it was raining. Well, it wasn’t like there were many anyway since it was still cold out – the boys assured you that during summer, they came in hordes – but between the tents and rented heaters, there were still people who came out sometimes, just to spend a little time outdoors once in a while. Hybrids were made sturdy, after all, and weren’t as susceptible to the cold as humans.

It was another week before Taehyung got to Hangang Park. A week of combing through every street, back alley and underground pass in the part of Seoul that he’d been assigned. At the very edge of Seoul, Hangang Park was one of the last places that they hadn’t looked and hope that they would find you was running low. You could be anywhere by now, perhaps having begged a ride or train ticket to another city even.

In the week that they’d been out looking for you, you’d been spending a lot of time inside with the boys. Since it was cold, all of you tended to huddle together in a puppy pile that was uncomfortably reminiscent of the big snuggle fests you’d enjoyed in the past with Taehyung and his bandmates. All the free time that all of you had meant that you spent a lot of time engaging in the only fun thing homeless poor people could afford, and you’d more than once thought sardonically that since you weren’t getting much food, it was a good thing you were getting so much protein.

After all that time spent apart, your reunion with Taehyung was almost anticlimactic. You’d squirmed free of Youngbae and Jiyong, who were currently napping, to go use the public restroom. When you were done, you were drying your hands on your shirt while walking out of the little hut that housed the toilets when you saw him. Or at least, someone who looked suspiciously like him from the back. He was wearing one of Taehyung’s favourite shirts, too, a long-sleeved silk button-down that you’d taken to and from the dry cleaners many times before.

For a second, it felt like time had stopped as you stared at the wide expanse of the man’s back. It took you back to a time that really wasn’t that long ago, but seemed like a different lifetime. So much had changed about you, and your life, and the way you lived.

Then the man started turning around and you realized that it was, indeed, Taehyung. Needless to say, you couldn’t leave quickly enough. You didn’t know why he was here, but you definitely didn’t want him seeing how low you’d sunk now. Swearing inwardly, you darted off, back to the tent behind a convenience store that was now your home.

When Taehyung first scented you, he almost thought he was hallucinating. It was just so unlikely to him that you would be here, of all places, when he’d all but lost hope of finding you ever again. It wasn’t until he turned around that he saw, out of the corner of his eye, a figure running away, and realized that it was, indeed, you. Immediately, he gave chase, yelling your name so you’d turn around.

Instead, you just ran faster, practically diving back into the tent where the other boys were and zipping it up tight. Daesung stirred, holding a hand out to you. “What’s up?” he slurred. You took his hand and cuddled close to his side, not sure how to explain things and just hoping that Taehyung would leave. Why was he here, anyway? He should be busy right now with promoting their comeback album; it wasn’t a good time for the band to be picnicking.

“Y/n!” Taehyung was standing right outside the tent now, and you closed your eyes stubbornly, tucking your face into Daesung’s chest. He’d been absently stroking your hair, but when he heard Taehyung, he propped himself up on his elbow.

“It sounds like someone’s looking for you,” he pointed out rather unnecessarily, raising a brow at you. You rolled your eyes at him in response.

“Y/n, please, let’s go home!” Taehyung continued, and you groaned, turning onto your belly and burying your face in your hands.

Jiyong, who was famously grouchy when he woke up, snarled as he unzipped the tent. “Who are you, and what the fuck do you want?!” he growled.

Taehyung blinked, slightly surprised at the hostility. “Uh, is Y/n-ssi here?” In the unexpected situation, his speech became polite.

Seunghyun came up behind Jiyong, frowning. He’d developed something of a soft spot for you – well, as much as was possible, anyway, when all of you were scrounging for survival. “What’s it to you?” he asked rudely.

“Uh, I’d like to speak to her, if possible?”

“I don’t want to talk to you,” you objected. You had no interest in anything he could say to you at this point. Was he here to scream at you again? That seemed like overkill, all things considered, but since there was nothing else you could imagine, it remained the most likely scenario in your mind. You didn’t want him seeing you like this, either. If he was going to hate you, you’d rather he at least remember you the way you’d been as a pet, not as a homeless stray.

“Y/n, please.” The tone of his voice gave you pause – it was weary and sad, and despite your best efforts, you couldn't stop yourself from wanting to comfort him. You'd spent half your life attuned to his every need and it was difficult to turn that off suddenly.

With a reluctant sigh, you pushed past Jiyong and Seunghyun, who were blocking the entrance. "What is it?" you asked. You tried not to make eye contact with Taehyung - he'd always been perceptive, and you didn't want him staring into your soul again, afraid of what he might find there.

“Y/n… please come home,” Taehyung pleaded. With you standing in front of him, he could see properly the toll that the past three weeks had on you. You’d lost a lot of weight and your jawline was sharper than it had ever been, you looked tired and messy, your skin was starting to break out due to lack of proper nutrition and access to skincare products, and you smelled… not that great, which wasn’t a surprise since you’d had about two showers in the last three weeks.

Still, you crossed your arms over your chest stubbornly and looked away. “I don’t want to,” you objected. You could still hear his harsh words ringing in your ears, but more than that, the shame you felt at encouraging your unusual relationship when you should have stopped it was weighing heavily on you, and you didn’t want to go back and face that.

“Y/n-ie, please? I know I was mean and awful, and I’m sorry about that. Please come home,” he tried again, but you refused to even look at him.

“Stop it, leave me alone,” you whispered, hugging yourself protectively.

Finally, his shoulders slumped. He couldn’t handle being the cause of your distress anymore, even if he did think that you would be better off back at home with him. “Okay,” he accepted, his voice quiet and dejected. “I’ll go if that’s what you really want, but you’re welcome to come home any time, okay?”

You nodded stiffly, waiting for him to leave.

When he turned away disappointedly and walked off, you turned back to the boys to find all four of them staring at you. “What?” you asked slightly defensively.

“Who was that, baby?” Youngbae asked.

“Uh, it was my previous owner.”

“And he wanted to take you home?”

“Uh, yeah?” More uncertainly this time, not sure where they were going with this.

“And you said no?” Jiyong butted in incredulously.

You shrank in on yourself at the volume and tone of his voice. “I don’t want to go back with him,” you almost whimpered, your hands bunching up the fabric of your shirt anxiously.

“Baby… why not?” Seunghyun asked.

Your mind stalled. You didn’t want to tell them the real reason, afraid that they would look at you differently or even kick you out of their group. “We… had a fight,” you said rather vaguely instead.

“And you’re still mad at him? Did he do something wrong?”

“Yes, he kicked me out,” you said pointedly. Wasn’t that enough?

“Baby… he clearly feels bad about that if he came to ask you to go home,” Daesung pointed out reasonably.

“That doesn’t change the fact that he kicked me out,” you grumbled petulantly. “What if he does it again? Then I’ll end up right back here.”

“And what if you do?” Seunghyun asked. “Even if he kicks you out again in a week, that’s a week that you get to spend with a roof over your head, and access to food and water.”

You blinked at Seunghyun. Out of all the things he could have said, that wasn’t really what you’d thought he would say, but it made sense somehow. Living on the streets was difficult. You hadn’t had a hot meal in three weeks, and even though the hunger pangs kept the nausea at bay, picking at hybrids’ half-eaten food wasn’t anyone’s idea of a good time.

It must seem so shallow and ridiculous to these boys, who’d been living on the streets all their lives, that there was someone offering you a perfectly good home and you didn’t want it. Why? Because of your feelings? Ultimately, did that matter? You began to doubt yourself and your reasoning, wondering if you were being silly.

Still, your mind wouldn’t stop replaying the memories of Taehyung forcibly kicking you out of his house, and you gnawed on your lip uncertainly. Would it really be okay?

“Sweetie, it seems like there’s something more keeping you from wanting to go back.” Youngbae, ever the astute one, guessed. “Do you want to talk about it?”

You shook your head slowly. It might seem tempting, but you didn’t know how they would react to hearing about your sexual relationship with your hybrid owner. You’d lost enough; you didn’t want to lose your new family too, especially when their protection was all that was keeping you from being out on the streets alone. The memory of the two nights you’d spent wandering around the streets of Seoul, lost and alone, were enough to keep your mouth shut out of caution and fear.

“That’s fair, but is it worth living like this?” he asked, gesturing towards the tent where the five of them had been living practically on top of each other.

“You live like this,” you objected. “We’ve been fine, haven’t we?” you continued, a little more uncertainly now. Were they just too polite to tell you that they were tired of you and wanted you to leave?

All of them exchanged glances, before turning back towards you, serious expressions on their faces. “Y/n… any blind fool can tell that you’re not made for this life,” Seunghyun began. “The rest of us were born on the streets and we know how to handle ourselves.”

“I know how to handle myself,” you protested, your hackles rising. Hadn’t you been doing your part to contribute to the group? Thinking about it too hard made you feel a little unsettled, like you were about to be booted out of another family, so you tilted your chin upwards in defiance.

Daesung stepped in, ever the peacemaker. “You’ve been doing really well, sweetie, but all of us can see how difficult this is for you,” he pointed out.

“What- what do you mean?”

“Well… your soft hands that have clearly never done heavy lifting, your fussiness about food, your general demeanor…” Jiyong started listing things that all of them had noticed over the past couple of weeks, only stopping when Seunghyun nudged him to be quiet.

“The point is… this life is clearly not suitable for you,” Seunghyun explained. “And even if things are bad between you and your owner right now, he’s willing to make an effort, and it seems like going back with him is the best thing for you.”

You bit your lip. “You really think so?”

“I think if you have to eat any more cold ramen noodles you’ll kill yourself,” Jiyong said dryly, and your cheeks heated, remembering the day that all you had to eat was cold, congealed half-eaten instant noodles. You thought you’d covered up your distaste, but apparently not. In your defense, it had been a soup ramen and the noodles had absorbed all the soup and gotten bloated and soggy.

“Okay,” you finally accepted. “I’ll go talk to him.”

Unexpectedly, it was Jiyong that came to hug you goodbye. “If anything goes wrong, you’ll always be welcome here,” he whispered, and you nodded, hugging him back. Even though you were pretty sure it was just because they enjoyed the convenience of having pussy on tap, you were still touched, your eyes starting to sting with tears that you refused to shed. As accepting as they’d been of you, you’d tried your best to avoid appearing weak and needy, and that wasn’t about to change.

It didn’t take long for you to find Taehyung – he was standing right near the entrance of the convenience store, smoking a shame cigarette. It was a habit he’d picked up in the military and quit when he left, but when he was stressed or upset, he still craved it. Right now, he was all of that and more.

You watched from around the side of the small building as he blew smoke out and flicked the end of the cigarette with his thumb, causing the ash to fall into the ashtray on top of the bin. The cigarette smoke was all he could smell, so he didn’t know you were there.

“Taehyung-oppa?” you called hesitantly, taking a few steps forward.

The way he whipped around to look at you was almost comical. “Y/n…?” he breathed, like he could hardly believe it. Hastily, his free hand came up to wipe his cheeks. “What are you doing here?”

You came a little closer, still a little skittish. “You shouldn’t be smoking,” you said instead of answering.

He smiled a little sadly, looking down at the cigarette in his hand. “Well… probably not,” he agreed.

“It’s bad for your health,” you continued walking towards him as you chided him gently.

“It is,” he said, although his voice cracked on the second word. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips together, trying to stifle the sobs. If this was the last time he ever saw you, he didn’t want you to remember him as a sobbing mess. Dragging a deep, painful breath in through his lungs, he swallowed hard to compose himself.

“Taehyung-oppa…” When he next opened his eyes, you were standing right in front of him, in all your ethereal glory. Right now, it didn’t matter that you looked (and smelled) like you’d seen better days. He forced himself to drink in every feature, every bit of your essence and scent. If this was all he had for the rest of his life, it would be enough. When he’d adopted you, he made a promise that he would always take care of you. He’d failed once already, but if all he could do for you for the rest of his life was look out for you from afar, that would be enough.

The powers that be must be smiling down on him, though, because instead of disappearing, you plucked the cigarette from his hand and ground it out against the bin. “Let’s go home,” you said simply.

He didn’t know why or how you’d changed your mind, but he wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. Nodding mutely, he held out his hand, and miraculously, you placed yours in it, letting him lead you back to his car.

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In the enclosed space of the car, Taehyung could pick apart all the unfamiliar notes of your scent, and it was driving him insane. The sour note of hunger and misery made the wolf in him want to whine and nose at your throat, bathe you and feed you and cuddle you until it all went away. The scent of unfamiliar men blanketing you inspired a very different reaction, though. It made him want to snarl, to tear the men who’d dared touch his mate apart, and make sure their scent was covered by his. He didn’t even want to think about how deep the scent of other men had sunk into you after three weeks. It had been his fault, anyway.

The part of him that was human tamped down ruthlessly on his baser, animalistic instincts, knowing that he couldn’t give in to them when they’d been engineered to manipulate him. Now, these instincts that had been bred into him were preventing him from being a good, responsible owner and that was unacceptable. Being here with you was throwing the conflict between his wolf and human sides into sharp relief, and he was silent as he mulled over it.

You didn’t have anything to say to him either, and your car ride home was quiet. You closed your eyes and leaned your head against the side of the car, and whenever there was a red light, Taehyung would gaze upon your face silently until he had to drive again.

When you finally got home, you followed Taehyung silently up to the apartment, your head bowed. His heart clenched at how broken and sad you looked, and the thought that he was the cause of it made him want to clutch you to his chest and cry. He did none of that, however, merely opening the door and letting you step into the house before him. You hovered uncertainly in the entryway, not even toeing off your shoes, your hands clutching the hem of your shirt in a way he recognized as an anxious habit of yours.

He stepped into the apartment and held his hand out to you. “Come on,” he coaxed, much like the first time he’d brought you home. The parallel didn’t seem like it was lost on you, because the ghost of a smile played across your lips, but this time when you put your hand in his, it was stiff and tense. He didn’t say anything, though, closing his larger hand around yours and drawing you into the apartment. You were still hesitant, though, looking around nervously, and in that moment, if he could have given up his heart to make you feel better, he would have done it without any thought.

“Do you want to go take a shower while I get dinner ready?” he asked quietly, and you nodded after a second, slipping off into your room to grab your clothes, then into the shower. When he heard the shower come on, he texted the boys to let them know he’d found you and they could call off the search. He didn’t add other details, not ready to share or even knowing what he should say to them, really.

With that done, he put his phone down on the counter, ignoring the way it vibrated over and over again, the boys undoubtedly bombarding him with questions. He figured you’d probably want a hot meal, and opened the fridge to see if he could cook anything. Seokjin would definitely be cooking up a storm for you and would load his car up with containers full of food tomorrow, but for tonight, he had to make do. There were a few threadbare ingredients that were left over from the last time you’d gone grocery shopping and he pulled them out hesitantly. It had honestly been too long since he’d cooked – when you were around, you usually took care of it and he’d been living off delivery food while you were gone.

Out of practice, he nevertheless gave it the good old college try, chopping up the onion and meat and attempting to make doenjang jjigae. He knew it was comforting for you, and it was for him too, especially after you’d made it for him during his heat. Unfortunately, when he tried to cook the stew, it turned into a mess somehow, with the onions burning and sticking to the pot, the doenjang starting to smoke, and the meat turning an unappetizing colour. Panicked, he started cursing while trying to scrape the food off the bottom of the pot.

The bathroom door swung open when you heard him, and you came out silently, nudging him aside to see what was happening. Without a word, you turned the stove off and started scraping burnt bits of food off the pan and into the bin. “Sorry,” Taehyung said, hovering awkwardly behind you. He’d never felt lower in his life. Could he do nothing right?

“It’s all right,” you murmured. “I’m not that hungry anyway. I might just turn in.”

His wolf whined in misery at the thought of you actually going to bed hungry, and he might have let a little noise slip, because your gaze snapped up towards him, before looking away. Your shirt was fisted in your hands again, and he forced himself to calm down. The fact that you were now afraid of him filled him with so much despair and hurt. He would genuinely throw himself off a bridge if it would make you smile again, just for a second.

“No, it’s okay, I’ll call delivery,” he said. He reached out to grab your hand, but thought better of it and snatched it back before making contact.

“Okay,” you agreed, your head still down. “Thank you, Taehyung-oppa.”

“Do you want to go sit down while I call them?” he asked, nodding towards the living room. You nodded and made your way to the couch where you perched on the very edge of the cushion, holding yourself stiffly with your hands in your lap.

Looking over sadly at you, he grabbed his phone and dialed the number for the restaurant that he knew was your favourite, ordering your food and his. He made sure to get additional side dishes, his wolf wanting nothing more than to provide for his mate.

When the food arrived, he busied himself taking it all out of the big basket and setting up the table as you drifted closer hesitantly. Even though he wasn’t looking directly at you, he watched carefully out of the corner of his eye as your lips turned up in a slight smile seeing your favourite black bean noodles, with sweet and sour pork on the side. It wasn’t much – before, you would have clapped your hands with glee and sit down eagerly – but to him, it felt like a victory anyway. Like maybe he could do this, take care of you and win back your affection.

You picked up your chopsticks and dug in, eating with a haste that he’d never seen before. You’d always been a bit of a slow eater, claiming you wanted to savour the food, but now you were wolfing it down like you didn’t know when you’d get to eat again, and it broke his heart all over again that you’d experienced hunger. You were his – his responsibility, his mate – and he’d failed you so miserably. The thought made his stomach flip unpleasantly and he found himself slowing down, losing his appetite at the thought of how much you’d undoubtedly suffered.

When you were done with your noodles – and most of the pork and side dishes – you started casting furtive glances over at his bowl of stew, and he pushed his bowl towards you without you having to ask. It was a striking reversal of the way you’d taken care of him during his pre-heat, and he was just now realizing how much responsibility you’d taken around the house since you came to live with him after his military service ended.

You hadn’t felt so full in weeks, and you sat back with a satisfied sigh when you’d drained Taehyung’s bowl as well. Your stomach hurt from how much you’d eaten, but it was a nice feeling, after the near-constant hunger pangs for the past three weeks. Moving sluggishly, you went to pack the empty bowls back into the bucket, but Taehyung stopped you. “I’ll do it,” he said. “Go get some rest, you look beat.”

Since you were exhausted, you didn’t argue with him, just getting up and heading to your bedroom. Taehyung watched, slightly wounded that you didn’t want to spend the night with him like you used to, but also not wanting to say or do anything to make you feel uncomfortable. “Good night,” he called, regretting it instantly when you leapt into the air at the sound of his voice.

“Good night,” you responded softly, and it was only his enhanced wolf hearing that allowed him to pick it up. Sighing, he finished cleaning up and put the basket back outside the door.

Being back in your bedroom felt almost surreal, after living on that streets and then in that tent. Everything was the same as it was before, when you were so different, it was like you didn’t fit in there anymore. The cute room with the cozy patterned bedspread, the overstuffed, oversized chair and reading nook… it was for another person, someone who didn’t exist anymore.

Still, you tried your best to block the thoughts out of your head as you pulled back the duvet to slide under it, fidgeting to try and get comfortable. Closing your eyes tight, you snuggled into the pillows, falling into the fitful, restless sleep that you’d gotten used to.

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Taehyung lay in the dark in his room, his eyes wide open. Having you in the next room over instead of in his bed next to him felt wrong, somehow, but even though he wanted nothing more than to slide into bed with you, or better yet, bring you to his room, his uncertainty and guilt kept him where he was.

He must have spent hours just lying there, listening to you toss and turn and whimper in your sleep, each sound twisting the knife. You’d always been such a deep, easy sleeper, knocking right out every night and sleeping peacefully till morning. It was his fault you’d changed, and he tortured himself all night imagining all the horrors you’d been through during the past few weeks.

When sunlight started shining through his curtains, he decided he’d had enough of lying there, and got out of bed. Still in his pajamas, he left his room and walked the small distance to yours to wake you up. Standing over your bed, he watched for a moment as you continued fussing in your sleep, a small frown etched into your features.

It had been a while since he’d done this, but years of waking you up meant that the muscle memory came back to him easy as he leaned over you and patted your side. “Hey… wake up,” he called softly.

You stirred and, clearly only half-awake, slurred, “Okay… you want a handjob?”

“I- what? Y/n…”

Your hand fought its way out of the covers and you held it out, palm up. “Come on…” you yawned.

“Y/n-ie… stop it.” Taehyung’s voice trembled as he saw the way you were holding your hand out, your fingers loosely curled. He put his hand in yours and placed it back onto the bed.

A little more awake now, you blinked the sleep from your eyes and squinted up at him. “Taehyung-oppa? Good morning,” you murmured in your soft, slightly scratchy morning voice. “Do you need breakfast?”

He hesitated. You looked so small and innocent in your bed now that he almost wondered if he’d hallucinated your earlier interaction. You continued looking at him, looking more alert, and he knew you were waiting for an answer.

“No,” he finally said. “Do you want to come to the studio with me today? We can grab some food on the way, and I’m sure the others are excited to see you too.”

You blinked and yawned again, before pushing yourself into a sitting position. “Okay,” you agreed. “Let me just get ready.” Sluggishly, you got out of bed, twisting your back to stretch while Taehyung made himself scarce, going to get dressed. When he was done, you ducked into the bathroom to do your thing, carrying your clothes in with you.

When you emerged, you looked fresh and adorable, in a simple white blouse and blue jeans, and anyone who wasn’t looking too closely or didn’t know you would have thought you were merely another pampered pet human. Taehyung, though, could see the way the clothes hung off you a little too loosely, the sharper edge of your jawline and cheekbones from weight loss, and most of all, could smell the scent of other men on you that even your shower last night hadn’t been able to get off.

“Is there anything you want for breakfast today?” he asked as you put your shoes on. He opened the front door and extended his other arm towards you, intending at first to usher you out with his hand on your lower back like he usually did, but he saw the way you stood a little more stiffly at the anticipation of his hands on you and dropped it awkwardly. He supposed he shouldn’t have been quite so surprised and hurt at your hesitance. If you wanted nothing more to do with him, it was still more than he deserved.

He took you to a little restaurant for porridge that was near the BigHit building, watching carefully as you downed the entire bowl in record-breaking time. Usually you were too busy chatting with him and telling him about your day, or random things you’d seen, or something you’d read in a book, but now you were silent, your head down as you shoveled food into your mouth. In an attempt to break the silence, Taehyung asked, “Did you sleep well?” even though he knew the answer to the question.

It didn’t work, anyway. You just looked up at him, wide-eyed, for a second, before nodding and returning to your food. Sighing in defeat, he lapsed into silence too. If this was the new normal, he couldn’t say he didn’t deserve it. At least you were eating well – it soothed his wolf slightly, to know that his mate was eating well.

When you were finished with your meal – even licking the spoon clean dramatically – he took you to the studio, where the boys, as anticipated, glomped you the moment you set foot in the door. Jimin was basically in tears as he hugged you and wouldn’t let go, even when the others came forth for their turn. Namjoon, however, hovered back, hesitant to greet you. In the heat of the moment, with Taehyung’s turmoil and misery in his face, it had been easy to justify his own role in the entire debacle, but now that he was looking straight at you, and seeing the toll that the past few weeks had taken on your body, the guilt sat uncomfortably in his chest.

Soon enough, you were back in your usual spot – on the couch, squished between Yoongi on one side and Jimin on the other, listening absently as they discussed their album and comeback with the managers and executives. Feeling warm and full from the porridge, your eyelids started to droop, and Yoongi, always alert and aware, gently took the book from your loose grasp and closed it, letting you rest your head on his shoulder.

Taehyung, watching from the adjacent couch, frowned, barely paying attention to what Bang PD was saying. He knew you hadn’t slept well last night, and the more rational side of him was relieved that you were at least getting some rest, even if you didn’t seem that comfortable. If he had his way, you would be lying down on a couch somewhere in a dark room where you could get some proper sleep. His wolf wanted to tear Yoongi to shreds, snarling in jealousy at the older man. It should be his shoulder you were currently drooling all over, your face adorably smushed into the fabric of his shirt.

Reminding himself harshly that you weren’t comfortable around him anymore, and really, whose fault was that, he forced himself to look away, although his jaw remained clenched, an outward sign of his irritation. He’d never been good at keeping his emotions to himself, but he figured he’d better damn well get good at it now, if he was going to keep all his problematic emotions to himself and avoid making you feel even more unsafe around him.

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For almost a month, you and Taehyung danced around each other, trying to stay out of each other’s way. You didn’t want to do anything that might set him off again or remind him of why he’d kicked you out in the first place, and Taehyung was practically bending over backwards to give you the space he thought you needed to heal. As a result, the apartment was very quiet for most of the day, an oppressive silence that hung like a shroud over you.

Since you weren’t talking much to Taehyung, you were always happy to go with him to the studio, where the other boys were more than willing to entertain you. They’d realized quickly that you were a lot jumpier than before, which was understandable, so they tried not to do anything that would give you a fright. For the most part, you were all right with physical contact (other than with Taehyung, which upset him tremendously) but once in a while an innocent brush against you could remind you of the way Big Bang would touch you, and you’d leap into the air to get away from it.

It was Yoongi, who let you sit on the couch in his studio most days, who finally broached the topic after he tried to usher you into the studio with his hand on your back and you almost burst into tears. He sat you down on the couch and squatted in front of you, holding your hands and pleading for you to please tell him what was wrong for about half an hour before you caved and admitted that you might have some trauma from living on the streets. It was another twenty minutes of cajoling before you told him, in the smallest voice possible, that you’d had to use your body to survive.

“You… what?” Yoongi was so shocked by your confession that he lost his balance and fell, sitting ungracefully at your feet. Thinking he was reacting this way out of disgust, you covered your face with your hands and drew your shoulders in.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, tears stinging at your eyes. This was exactly what you hadn’t wanted; you’d thought you’d been doing well with hiding everything and dealing with it alone. Now that Yoongi knew, the rest of the boys would know that you were filthy, disgusting… you couldn’t stop the sob from tearing out of your chest.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he soothed, putting his shock and anger aside in the face of your clear distress. He wanted to flip a table, maybe set fire to something, but you were more important right now. His hands fluttered helplessly by your knees, wanting to comfort you but not sure how to. Your adverse reaction to the boys’ touch made so much sense now, and he didn’t want to accidentally trigger you again and upset you further.

In the end, he took your hand and placed it on top of his head, letting you stroke his soft, fluffy leopard ears. The rhythmic motion seemed to soothe you, and you smiled a little past the tears as you scratched the base of them, just like he let you do when you were a child. He didn’t want to force you to speak, but slowly coaxed everything out of you. Once you started talking about your experiences, it was like the words fell out of you, so relieved to finally be able to tell someone after keeping it to yourself for weeks as you tried to pretend like you were the same innocent human you’d been before being cast out.

Eventually, Yoongi managed to get you to fall asleep for a much-needed nap on his couch after you’d cried yourself out. His heart broke as he looked at you lying on the couch on your side, so small and delicate. You looked almost breakable, and the thought of you having to use that precious body to survive because of Taehyung made his fists clench by his side in rage. Turning down the lights so you would be able to rest properly, he left his studio, making sure to close the door quietly to avoid waking you up even though he wanted to slam it in his rage.

Taehyung was sitting in a meeting room with Jungkook and Jimin, and when Yoongi burst through the entrance, all of them looked up. “Suga-hyung, what’s up?” Jimin greeted.

Ignoring him, Yoongi stalked over to Taehyung, yanked him by the shirtfront out of his seat and decked him across the face. Shocked and unprepared for the hit, Taehyung sprawled on the floor, only to prop himself up by the elbow a second later, cradling his jaw with his hand and looking up at Yoongi with wide, hurt eyes.

“Suga-hyung, stop!” Jimin cried as Jungkook all but leapt across the table in the room to restrain the older man. The two bystanders exchanged panicked glances, not sure why Yoongi was suddenly attacking Taehyung. As irritable and snarky as the rapper was, it was almost impossible to get him truly angry, and he was clearly fuming right now.

Furious at the sudden attack, Taehyung surged up off the floor. “What the fuck was that for?!” he roared, pulling back to return Yoongi’s punch with one of his own. Jimin hurried over to pull Taehyung back before the situation descended into a brawl.

“You’re garbage,” Yoongi sneered. “Ask Y/n what it was for.” With that, he pulled himself out of Jungkook’s grasp, glared at Taehyung once more, and left the room, unable to stand being in the same room as him anymore.

“Shit, you’re bleeding,” Jimin fretted over his best friend, taking his chin in his hand and turning his face from one side to the other to see what the damage was. “Let’s get you cleaned up,” he instructed, tugging on Taehyung’s hand so the wolf hybrid had no choice but to trail after Jimin, his ears drooping.

“What do you think that was about?” Jimin asked in the bathroom as he wetted a wad of paper towels in the sink.

Taehyung, leaning against the wall beside the sinks, shrugged, meeting Jimin’s eyes in the mirror. “Hell if I know,” he grumbled, still bitter. “I can’t believe hyung would do something like that,” he sulked.

Starting to dab at the busted lip to clean it up, Jimin ignored Taehyung’s hiss of pain and subsequent whines. “You know hyung isn’t the type to do something like that out of the blue… we can go talk to him later, okay? Find out what’s wrong.”

Taehyung started to protest, but Jimin’s glare and the way he pressed a little harder on the split lip he was tending to made him subside, pouting.

Since Taehyung could be a big baby and Jimin had an obsessive need to take care of everyone around him, it took a while before Taehyung was deemed patched up enough to go talk to Yoongi. As he made his way down the hallway to Yoongi’s studio, he fumed silently about his hyung’s weird behavior.

By the time he got to the door of Yoongi’s studio, he’d worked himself back up into a rage, and pounded on the door loudly to announce his presence. “Hyung, open up!” he yelled.

The racket he was making woke you up abruptly, and you jolted awake, gasping as you shot up into a sitting position. A quick glance over at Yoongi told you that he hadn’t heard Taehyung at all, since he was still working, with his giant expensive noise-cancelling headphones on. Since he was occupied, you went to open the door yourself to let Taehyung in.

Taehyung’s arm was still up, poised to knock, when you opened the door. He stared at you with wide eyes, not having expected you and feeling slightly abashed now that you’d seen his childish tantrum. “Ah, Y/n-ie… I didn’t know you were here,” he greeted, dropping his arm to his side.

You, on the other hand, had a far more dramatic reaction. Seeing his split lip, you gasped in horror, and in your panic, the artificial distance you’d been imposing for the past month slipped away. “Tae-oppa!” you cried, your hands flying to his face. “What happened to you?” With the pads of your fingers, you stroked gently over the reddened skin around the cut, wincing.

Grabbing his wrist, you pulled him over to the couch and sat him down, continuing to fret over him. Taehyung, for his part, sat quietly and let you do what you wanted, just happy to have you near him again. All his anger evaporated as he smiled at you like a fool, ignoring the way it made his lip sting.

Yoongi, who’d turned around in his chair and slipped his headphones down around his neck, frowned at the sight that greeted him. You were kneeling on the couch next to Taehyung, leaning over him while he held your wrist in his hand, stroking gently along the soft skin on your inner wrist.

At the sound of Yoongi clearing his throat, you jumped, tearing your wrist out of Taehyung’s grasp, to look over at the rapper. The interruption was enough to startle you out of your frantic concern for him, and you sat down on the couch, your hands in your lap as you tried to make yourself smaller. “S-sorry,” you said to Taehyung, though it was directed at your hands. What would he think of you now? Getting all up in his personal space, even after he’d made it so clear that he didn’t want to be involved with you like that. You really needed to get a grip if you were going to remain his pet, you thought. No way in hell were you going back to being homeless.

“It’s all right,” Taehyung murmured, responding to you habitually. Now that you weren’t in his personal space anymore, though, his anger started coming back, and he trained his gaze on Yoongi, his jaw flexing with his irritation. Yoongi met his gaze with equal measure, neither of them backing down.

You were so consumed by your own thoughts that you didn’t realise the tension between them, asking Taehyung obliviously, “So what happened to your face, anyway?”

There was a beat of silence, then Yoongi replied smoothly, “He must have walked into a door.” As he said it, he pinned Taehyung with a warning gaze, as if daring him to disagree with his lie.

An awkward moment later, Taehyung agreed. “Yes… I was distracted,” he offered as an excuse.

Watching the way Yoongi looked at you, with a small frown knitting his brow, Taehyung remembered what Yoongi had said earlier, about asking you what the punch was for. He broke eye contact with Yoongi to look over at you instead, although you still refused to look up at him, preferring to focus instead on your lap, where your hands were folded politely.

“Anyway, Y/n-ie… I’m not needed for the rest of the day. Do you want to go home early?” Taehyung figured that whatever it was he was supposed to ask you about, it was probably best to do it in private. He didn’t have his own studio, so his apartment was the best bet.

“Sure,” you agreed immediately. You’d been doing that a lot lately, just going with whatever he wanted or suggested, unless you were protesting that he was spending too much time, money or effort on you. It was so completely different from the carefree girl who loved to go crazy with his credit cards and soaked up his affection that he’d known, and he hated himself again for causing you to withdraw like that. It had taken him so long to earn your trust back when you’d been a child and he adopted you, and now all of that was gone down the drain.

He stood up and you followed, trailing after him out of Yoongi’s studio with a smile and a wave that upset him all over again. He hadn’t had that cute, carefree smile directed at him for so long now, and again, he fucking knew it was his own fault, but that didn’t make it any easier. For now, he had to be satisfied with seeing that smile only when it was directed at other people. At least, he thought bitterly, he’d succeeded in providing a good support network for you.

When you got home, after yet another awkward car ride filled with stilted small talk, Taehyung sat you down on the couch, wanting to talk to you but unsure of how to bring it up. You looked at him inquiringly as he stuttered through several aborted attempts to start the conversation, stopping each time with a frown and a hum.

Finally, he managed to ask, in a tone he hoped was neutral, “Did you and Suga-hyung talk about anything interesting today?”

You visibly stiffened, and he wondered if it was his words or his failure to feign nonchalance. “Why do you ask?” you responded cautiously, and he could see your walls going up.

“Just something Suga-hyung said,” Taehyung waved his hand in the air.

You cursed Yoongi inwardly for selling you out, and so quickly, at that. “Uh, we just talked about some stuff that happened last month,” you said vaguely. Neither of you were necessarily comfortable talking about the time you’d spent on the streets, and you tried to tiptoe around it out of consideration for Taehyung, but he understood what you were trying to say anyway.

“Uh-huh, like what?” he prompted, undeterred.

Your shoulders hunched defensively around your ears. “I don’t want to talk about it,” you muttered, and started to get up to beat a hasty retreat to your room.

Taehyung reached out in a panic and grabbed your hand. “No, please, tell me what you told him,” he pleaded, looking up at you with that sad expression that you’d never been able to resist.

You sighed. “Why do you even want to know?” you asked, slumping back onto the couch in resignation.

Taehyung frowned. “Of course I want to know,” he countered immediately. “Why don’t you want to tell me?” he asked in concern now.

You shrugged. “I don’t like talking about it, and it’ll just upset you,” you explained in a small voice.

“Y/n…” Taehyung’s voice was filled with sadness. “Please, tell me about it.” He scooted slightly closer to you and took your hands in his.

“Taehyung-oppa…”

“I understand if you’re not ready to tell me,” he admitted. It stung to acknowledge the possibility that you were more comfortable talking to Yoongi about this than to Taehyung, when he’d always been your caretaker, the one you’d gone to for everything. “But if you’re willing to tell me, I really do want to know, so we can figure out the best way to help you.��

You swallowed. “All right,” you agreed hesitantly, then lapsed into silence as you thought about how you should explain what had happened. You didn’t want Taehyung to judge you, but then again, Yoongi hadn’t either, so maybe your fears about that had been overblown.

After a little more hemming and hawing as you tried to muster up the courage to talk about it, you finally said, “Do you remember the guys that I was living with?”

Taehyung nodded, slightly confused, but didn’t say anything, simply waiting for you to continue speaking when you were ready.

“Well, uh… they agreed to take me in and all, but it wasn’t for free,” you said, trying to skirt around the topic, hoping he would get it without you having to spell it out in so many words.

Of course, Taehyung just gave you a blank stare, as if waiting for you to finish your thought. You sighed. “They proposed, like, a trade,” you continued, willing him with your mind to just understand what you were trying to say already, damn it.

When his expression didn’t change, you gave up on hoping he would understand your hints. “I only had myself and didn’t have much to offer, so they, uh… theymademeusemybody,” you rushed out the last part of your sentence so softly it was almost like a whisper, but with Taehyung’s sharper hearing, courtesy of his hybrid senses, he picked it up perfectly.

Only, with what he’d heard, he wished he hadn’t. He stared at you imploringly, his ears folded down against his head, his eyes starting to fill with tears. “Wh-what?” His voice wobbled, unable to believe what he’d heard. You avoided his gaze by turning your face away, not wanting to see the expression on his face. You didn’t need his pity.

“Y/n…” Taehyung tightened his grasp on your hands. “I’m so sorry.” The emotion behind the simple words caught you off guard, and you turned back to look at him. He was staring straight at you, his eyes huge and filled with distress (and tears). A sob that he couldn’t quite hold back tore out of his chest and you watched, with some disbelief, as he completely broke down in front of you.

“Taehyung-oppa…” you murmured, trying to extricate one hand from his grasp. Panicked, he held on even tighter, unwilling to let you go and afraid that you would leave if he did. He was so upset it physically hurt all over. As an owner, he was distraught that his thoughtless actions had caused you to suffer like that. His baser instincts, however, prodded him to hunt down the humans who’d forced you into such a position. How dare they make such profane, disgusting, exploitative demands of you, his imprint, his mate?

And yet, wasn’t it all his fault? He was the one who’d kicked you out, so you had no other choice but to accept it. Everything that had happened to you while you were living on the streets had happened because of him, because he was a thoughtless, stupid, irresponsible, owner. It would serve him right if you left, although he couldn’t bear for you to. Clearly, he’d shown that he was an unfit owner.

He was so lost in his self-hatred that he didn’t realize how hard he was squeezing your hands which were folded in his bigger ones until you made a quiet noise of discomfort, flexing your hands in his grasp. Horrified, he let go of them as if scalded, appalled that he was hurting you yet again.

Instead of immediately taking off, however, you reached up to cradle the side of his face, wiping his tears away with your thumb. As much as you’d resented him, you couldn’t see his sadness without wanting to comfort him. It was somewhat strange – you’d always seen him as the rock, the constant in your life. Always there for you, always in your corner. That was gone now. You knew firsthand how he could be, how much you suffered because of him. Yet there were still those memories that, try as you might, you couldn’t stop holding close to your heart. Of being tucked into bed by him, spoilt rotten and cuddled during what had to be the most pampered adolescence possible. Part of you was vindictively pleased that he was so upset, since it was what he deserved, but there was another part that didn’t like seeing him suffer.

When he felt your hand on his face, Taehyung felt like he couldn’t breathe for a moment. It would have made more sense to him if you’d slapped or punched him, but this tender touch, after all you’d been through because of him… he didn’t deserve you. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he kept repeating like a mantra, as if saying the words could dispel the heavy guilt he felt.

Because you weren’t a saint after all, you couldn’t resist twisting the knife. You knew you should appreciate how apologetic he was now that he knew what had happened, but there was also a spark of irritation within you. Why did he get to cry and make a fuss, when you couldn’t? You were comforting him when all the things he was upset about had happened to you, because of him.

“If you were sorry,” you said quietly, “you wouldn’t have kicked me out to begin with.” There was no malice in your tone, which was quiet and neutral, but it was abundant in your words. This was all his doing, and he shouldn’t get to wail dramatically about it like he was the victim.

Taehyung swallowed. “You’re right,” he acknowledged immediately. “This is all my fault, I’m sorry. Tell me what I can do to make it better for you,” he implored, his wide, tear-filled eyes looking at you earnestly.

“Tell me why you did it.” You never raised your voice, staying unmoved in the face of his clear anguish.

“Okay,” he agreed instantly, almost before the last word left your mouth. “Okay, I’ll tell you, just please… don’t leave.”

You folded your hands neatly in your lap and prepared to listen. To be honest, you’d thought you would be able to predict whatever he was going to say. He was furious about you coercing him into a sexual relationship when he wasn’t in his right frame of mind, he would confess, and after thinking about it, he’d gotten so angry that he acted impulsively. You could almost hear the words inside your head already – they were the same reasons you’d been repeating to yourself, over and over again.

“I was mad,” Taehyung admitted, the words leaving a bad taste in his mouth, “And I acted rashly.” He hadn’t wanted to tell you about the imprint, hoping that he could deal with it by himself so he wouldn’t give you yet another thing to worry and stress over, but you’d asked, and he couldn’t reject your request. Not when he knew how much you’d suffered because of him. You nodded, like you’d expected him to say that.

What he said next, however, took you completely by surprise.

“Namjoon-hyung told me…” he stopped to swallow and gather himself, then started again. “I know you think that during my last heat –” you both flushed, thinking about what had happened then – “that was new, but it wasn’t.”

Your gaze sharpened and focused on him, listening more carefully to what he had to say now. “I’d been struggling since my discharge from the military,” he continued. Damn, this was hard to say. “Namjoon-hyung helped me look into it, and he found…”

He paused to muster some courage, running his hand over the back of his neck awkwardly. “He found what?” you prompted, leaning forward curiously. You hadn’t voluntarily come this close to him for a month, he noted. His wolf preened.

“Uh, he found evidence of… hybrid technology that he believes is the cause. He called it,” he coughed to delay it a little longer, “an imprint. It’s a genetic quirk that was created in predator hybrids to ensure that they could bond with their human owners.”

You blinked. “I’m not your owner,” you said dumbly. It was so much to take in, that bit was the only thing your mind could focus on and grasp.

“I know,” he nodded, “but because we spent so much time together in our adolescence the bond had a chance to form, and after spending two years apart, it kicked in because you’d reached…” He grimaced, not really wanting to say it, and waved his hand at you vaguely instead.

You understood well enough what he was trying to say and blanched. “Gross…” you muttered under your breath, but Taehyung heard it and his shoulders slumped further. Of course you were horrified and disgusted at him – you should be. For the first time, he wondered if you would have been better off on the streets – at least then you wouldn’t have to deal with him and this genetic abnormality. He’d forced you into every difficult situation you’d faced since coming back to him after his military service, and it was only natural that you were appalled by his revelation.

“I’m sorry,” he said again. He was saying that a lot, but no matter how many times he uttered the words, they were never enough to convey the depth of his remorse and sorrow over what he’d done to you. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…” his head fell into your lap as he cried.

You started stroking his head and ears, the habit you’d developed from years of being around him making you move your hand automatically to soothe him as you tried to sort out your thoughts. Hybrid technology… a genetic quirk… that meant humans had been responsible for what Taehyung was going through. You were more educated than most humans, which meant you understood very well the history between humans and hybrids. Humans had created hybrids and enslaved them, treating them as chattel – pets, workhorses, you name it.

And now, you were continuing to be the source of a hybrid’s pain and suffering. Had humans not done enough? Their destructive legacy continued to live on in the bodies of the hybrids they’d created, and while Taehyung had been struggling with it by himself, you’d been living in blissful ignorance, resenting him for what he’d done.

Taehyung cried until the tears wouldn’t come anymore, then he just lay with his head in your lap, the occasional hiccup making him jerk slightly. After a while, you turned your head to look out the window – the sun was setting, you noted.

“Taehyung-oppa…” you called softly, shaking his shoulder gently to wake him up. “You should get to bed.”

He stirred slightly, then tried to go back to sleep, but you pushed him back into a sitting position. “Come on, Tae-oppa,” you said, standing up and tugging on his hand. He followed you as you led him to his room, but wouldn’t let go of your hand once you’d gotten him settled in bed.

“Will you stay with me tonight?” he croaked.

You eyed him dubiously for a second, not sure if it was a good idea, especially in light of what you’d just learned. But with his sad expression, the dejected slump of his shoulders and the way his ears flopped over his head, you couldn’t say no to anything he asked. Especially not with the newfound guilt you were carrying around.

“Okay,” you acquiesced. “Just let me wash up and I’ll come back.”

When you tiptoed back into Taehyung’s room, scrubbed down and in your pajamas, you thought he was asleep from the way he was curled up under the sheets. You quietly pulled back the covers on your side of the bed and got in slowly, trying not to jostle him awake, but it didn’t seem to make a difference, since the moment you were settled into the mattress he squirmed closer to you, wrapping his arms and legs around you and pressing his face into your neck.

With a small sigh, you settled into his hold.

---------------------------------------------

“Y/n… I don’t understand.” Namjoon’s brow was furrowed as he looked up at you, standing in his studio.

“Namjoon-oppa… I know you know about the imprint, and you told Taehyung-oppa about it,” you told him.

“Right… but I don’t know why you’re asking me this.”

“It’s not complicated – I just want to know if there’s a way to break the imprint.”

Namjoon hesitated. It was something he’d been looking into nonstop as well, hoping to find something that would set both you and Taehyung free. It didn’t seem to be possible, though – the genetic bond was not designed to be broken, especially since hybrids had been considered so disposable. If anything went wrong, euthanasia of hybrids had been just as commonly accepted as euthanasia of regular pets.

“There isn’t,” he admitted. “The only cases where a hybrid was able to move on from the imprint…” he gulped, not sure whether he should tell you.

“What is it?” you asked impatiently. “Namjoon-oppa, please. I’m trying to help Taehyung-oppa, just like you are,” you pleaded. “Why won’t you tell me?”

“Stop asking!” Backed into a corner now, he snarled at you, his ears pressed back against his head. “There’s nothing you can do, okay? Just drop it.”

“Namjoon-oppa, please. I don’t know why you’re trying to hide it. I’ll do anything it takes to help Taehyung-oppa break his imprint.”

That got his attention. “Anything?” This was crazy… it was way too much to ask of you.

“Anything,” you confirmed resolutely. He could see your determination in the set of your jaw and the way your gaze met his unwaveringly.

“Fine,” he sighed. “Ah, this is crazy…” he muttered to himself, shaking his head.

“The only recorded cases where a hybrid was able to move on from an imprint… is when the object of the imprint passed away.”

#btswritingcafe #kwritersworldnet #btswritersnet #magicshopnet #bangtanarmynet #btswriterscollective #bangtanhq #kim taehyung #taehyung x reader #hybrid taehyung #bts hybrid #bts hybrid au #bts future au #bts scenarios #bts fic #dont ask dont tell

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rougebangtan · 4 years

Text

it’s a new year!

hello. long time no see.

to be honest, i wasn’t planning to write a new year’s post. i wasn’t sure as what to say because i didn’t want to come across as self-absorbed or unnecessarily critical and skeptical of the past, present and future. i’m used to keeping things to myself, and not sharing them is as much of a relief as it is a burden.

i must confess it’s easy not to say anything. it’s easy to lose myself in this plethora of unvoiced thoughts which end up being burried very deep within. i am not sure what was the primary cause behind my sudden change of heart, but why not...?

this blog was created as a way of me rejoining tumblr. i’ve always been in here, but i had spent some time away before returning four years ago. in january 2017, this became mainly a fan account for bts when it wasn’t meant to be at first. yet, it still became something personal and very close to my heart, and the reason was because i met amazing people in here. i learned things and reached personal milestones that impacted me positively on a daily basis.

we don’t even need to look in reprospect to know 2020 was far from ideal. i’m certain it has been this way for everyone. on my end, i spent my time erratically and i oscilated with the tide. i was extensively creative at one point, and because of that, i stretched myself too far and i couldn’t make ends meet. i socialized and made friends, and then it became too much for me to handle and i isolated myself. i became tired of myself like i always have.

the first thing i realized when it was finally january 1st 2021 is that what i’m actually tired of are things feeling pointless. i’m tired of trying to salvage the broken pieces of something i don’t even know why was broken in the first place. i’m tired of being on the verge of giving up, but not doing so because there has to be a purpose. the biggest realization to me was that i’m tired of all of the things i aforementioned mainly because those are self-centred sentiments which are never going to lead me anywhere but a dead end. the selfishness, the self-absorption, and stubborn lack of enthusiasm... those are the hindrances to whatever it is i want to accomplish.

so, even though i’m lost and have nothing concrete to grasp on to yet, my main goal right now is to focus on loving more freely, on accepting happiness and sorrow as they come and go, on being a better friend. i haven’t accomplished many things thus far, but i met a lot of people whom i’ve come to love and appreciate beyond words. there are really special people who have paved their way into my heart, so thank you so much for so many sweet memories!

it’s a new year! hopefully we’ll move on to bigger and better things <3

mutuals from a-z:

@1999164 · @4-sun ·

a-c:

@autumnnflowers · @absoluteyoongit · @an-annyeoing-writer · @astrowicc · @btsaudge · @bangtanloverboys · @bubble-tae · @beamingmaylyn · @birbdae · @bratkook · @captaindelhiver · @crazy4myself · @cultleaderyoongi · @cutechim · @cest-la-tae · @chelsea-chee

d-i:

@dewykth · @dylanxmin · @dearlytea · @dani-of-the-cosmos · @dawndrms · @ditttiii · @excusemin · @flowerseok · @fl0ra · @ghibliu · @gossamie · @gukssunshine · @honeylovecult · @hobicomeholla29 · @hopeworldsavedmylife · @hoseoksyn · @heartyclouds · @happytata · @h-heaveninhiding · @i-am-today-we-will-survive · @illneverrecover

j-o:

@jaelouvre-main · @jamlessness · @jogeumdeo · @jour-de-printemps · @justalwaystired · @joonieshibui · @jamaiskook · @jingerines · @joonsdiary · @kimvvantae · @koosgrl · @kb-bangtanenthusiast · @leftonraed · @lovejeons · @lavenderandluna · @lunarlxve · @minflix · @mlkydrms · @moonchildsblack · @megahwn · @meowstea · @nam-jonie

p-v:

@pars-ley · @poutyjimin · @pinkprincesslauren · @primarybts · @pjmsdior · @rosielips · @rkivepacks · @sakuramotion · @salvejoon · @sugasmoonlight · @slaypjm · @sukiroki · @salade-tb · @saysammydandy · @sleepybby · @taelepathic · @thefouranemoi · @talismaniccream · @tokkituzi · @tipsydipsydo · @utopiajeon · @unoriginal-username15432 · @untaemedqueen · @vinterjeon

w-z:

@wajood · @wonderoghosa · @wrappedinpetals · @wwilloww · @xjoonchildx · @y6ongi · @youaresadwhaticansay · @yeojaa · @yoongiroses · @yvessaintyoongi · @youremeimyou · @yoongs-jeontae · @youarejesting

👻 honorary mention for all my ghosties 👻

love letters:

💌 @4-sun: hey, sunny. i remember when we met, and it’s so crazy how time flies by. you’re already entering college, and i don’t know why but i feel so proud of you. you’re so smart and i’m always impressed by you! i hope the college applications have gone well for you, and that 2020 hasn’t been the most unkind. i know we haven’t talked as much, but i still hold our friendship very close to my heart.

💌 @absoluteyoongit: bueller, my astrological twin! you’re so dear to me. thanks for all the laughter and joy you’ve brought into my life this past year. i hope 2021 is kind to you, and you and your family (especially your dad) are healthy. date a lot and have lots of fun this new year.

💌 @apotaeose: you have such a soothing presence in my life. i admire a lot, and our conversations always make me reflect and dig deeper. you have a healing essence to you, and your words and actions express that. you’re a dear friend and an amazing writer. i really really, from the bottom of my heart, hope we can meet soon <3

💌 @breadoffoxy: sam!! you’re the sweetest and i love to talk to you about whatever. you’re one of the most endearing people i’ve met. you make everyone around you feel so special. we’ve talked many nights to the point of falling asleep, and i wouldn’t have had it another way. your drive is honestly so admirable. the way you managed to gather everyone together and make us enjoy ourselves is exceptional, and i’m so grateful to be your friend. who knows? maybe 2021 will be the year will meet hahah. i digress.

💌 @bangtanloverboys: dippie! you’re the funniest person i know, and you are so uplifting. i don’t know if that’s how you feel inside, but you do have a positive impact on others. the way i just know you probably give out the best hugs ever. you’re the best, and i love you. happy 2021! btw, i forever dislike the bee movie

💌 @cutechim: hana, i didn’t expect to meet you this year, but girl did you rock my world with your talent and kindness. i hope this upcoming year we can get to know each other even better, and that many blessings and opportunities come your way.

💌 @strwberrytae / @lavenderandluna: hello luna!!! i don’t even know if you remember me, but i still find you one of the best writers i’ve come across here on tumblr and i still hold our conversations dear to my heart! i don’t know how 2020 went down for you, and i hope you managed to keep yourself sane in the midst of uncertainty. wish you well xx.

💌 @leftonraed: val, happy new day, my friend. we haven’t been the most talkative lately, but my love for you is still strong. i wish you luck and health this 2021. love you.

💌 @salade-tb: kat. oh lord. your quirky ass has swept me off my feet, and rendered me helpless to your charm. you’re so funny, and i love your energy. you’re indisputably the og ghostie even if you joined the net on the 5th or 6th round. happy 2021, my fellow south hemispherian.

💌 @taelepathic: isabel, it’s been a long time, but i love and miss you! i hope you’ve been healthy all throughout the past year 🤍

💌 @tokkituzi: seoyoon! hey sweetie. i’ll forever be grateful you reached out to me after i chased you down on jamaisjoons’ asks 😂 your english skills are going strong, girl! maybe we can both become better at our respective goal languages. your brother still amuses me to this day. happy new year! 🎉

💌 @yoongs-jeontae: ava, my love! 🥺 i still have these urges to book a flight to your city and just give you the biggest hug and stay at your house lmfao. you’re so talented and i love the fact you’re an architect and i’d love to talk to you just we can speak in both english and pt all day every day. you have such a beautiful family. i admire and love you so much! sending you lots of positive energy for 2021. happy new year.

ps. i probably missed a few people and i apologize beforehand!!! love love love to all of you forever and ever.

#happy new year #2021 #@ mutuals

70 notes · View notes

cinnamoday · 4 years

Text

the truth untold

riddle rosehearts

full imagine

happy angst (?)

female reader

inspired by the smeraldo flower theory

play: the truth untold - bts

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．

“The blue flower your hand was picking I want to hold it”

it was the autumn of 1697. the streets were bustling with carriages and villagers as orange-yellow leaves fell from the nearly barren tree. it was almost winter. riddle walked out his humble abode, a lime green watering can in his right hand, his other clutching his brown coat due to the weather. it was his daily routine; to water his garden for hours on end and attend to the variety of blooming flowers in the bushes.

a smile graced upon his features when he saw the buds of the roses. his eyes glanced to the bush next to it- smeraldo flowers. its soft blue and pink colors mesmerized him. roses have always been his favorite flowers, but this gorgeous specie takes second place. his pale hands gently stroked the pale blue flower before he lifted up the watering can and poured it around the bushes. a sigh escaped riddle’s lips, forming a small cloud of breath as he felt the cold seep in through his layers of clothing.

“i should ask mother to buy more clothing. . .” riddle stopped talking to himself for a moment, contemplating on his decision. should he request his mother to go to the village? you see, they lived on the outskirts of the town. his mother was overly protective of him and so they were secluded from human contact. “no, never mind. that’s ridiculous.” riddle made his decision, mind filled with the reaction his dear mother would have if he had asked such a request.

riddle finished watering the garden’s bushes and a few of the large hedges that decorated the entrance of their large manor. riddle didn’t see the point of owning such a house when there were only him and his mother as living in the residence. to him, it was a huge waste of space. they were only drawing more attention from the villagers even though their intent (it’s more accurate to say, his mother’s intent) was to be hidden and to rarely interact with the people.

after the redhead has finished his mini monologue, he stepped back inside their unnecessarily big manor, enjoying the warmth the house welcomed him with. he slipped off his cloak and walked towards the spiral stairs to his room to finish his studies of magic.

nightfall had graced the rose kingdom and it was chillier than it was in the afternoon. riddle had lit up a candle to concentrate on his reading, but saw something from his window- no, not something. rather, it was someone. riddle froze, not knowing what to do. he has never encountered anyone that wasn’t his mother and he was scared. his mother wouldn’t be back until next week. riddle took a deep breath, brainstorming ways on how he would handle this situation but it proved to be useless when he saw the stranger running away. he couldn’t see their face but hoped this would be the last they see of them.

the next day, riddle attended to the garden as always and felt odd. the smeraldo flowers he had adored that brought him happiness was. . . lacking. it felt like there were some flowers missing. he knew very well that there were more than just thirteen flowers in this specific bush. he knew because he counted each time he went out to water the flowers. riddle started to deduce all the possibilities that could’ve caused some flowers to go missing. his mind then went back to last night. it was chilly and the dirt roads to his house were covered in dead, crunchy autumn leaves. the stranger that trespassed into his garden was to blame.

riddle felt his blood boil. how dare someone take his precious flowers. who did they think they were? those flowers were his only source of happiness and someone had to steal them. who was this brave newcomer? riddle gripped the handle of his watering can tightly and marched into his house. he was going to stay in front of his bedroom window and watch over the flowers intently. he was going to catch this thief red handed.

it was almost midnight, at least that’s what a certain redhead had deduced. the night was dark but the stars shined to give some light. it was peaceful. riddle felt his eyelids get heavy. no! you can’t fall asleep! riddle scolded himself, lightly slapping his cheeks which caused it to turn red from the impact of his palms. he had to resist the tiredness. . . although that proved to be useless once he woke up and saw the shadow of the stranger hopping off the tall black gates.

angered, riddle let out a frustrated groan and gripped his hair. normally, people would let this slide. but you have to understand that riddle is lonely. he didn’t have any friends. the only “person” he could talk to were the flowers that adorned the front of their house. he let out his frustrations, his excitement and his worries to those plants. it was the only “friend” he has, and those friends were being taken away from him by force.

days passed by and the flower thief (or what riddle liked to call them), was never caught. it seemed like their stealing habits were endless. it tired riddle. he wasn’t focusing on his studies. his mother would be furious of him when she returned. but riddle couldn’t help but wait for the right moment to catch the stranger. that was, until one faithful night, where he decided to follow the thief and see where they would go.

the decision was reckless and risky. what if his mother found out he had left the mansion? would she be even more hard on him? would she be. . . disappointed? god, riddle would kill for his mother to be proud of him for even just a second. nonetheless, he brushed off the consequences he most probably would receive if his mother found out. it wasn’t a when, it was an if. riddle thought long and hard to make this decision a final one. it was like rapunzel escaping the tower mother gothel had trapped her in.

the night had finally dawned upon the rose kingdom. after he saw the stranger grab more of his flowers, he threw the makeshift rope he made from blankets and cloaks he owned and descended down the slightly high window. good thing the stranger didn’t notice him yet. if he was quick enough, he can still make it and follow them. riddle finally made it down and let out a nervous sigh- he was scared. he didn’t know anything about the outside world and how it worked. but if he wanted to get to the bottom of this, he had to do something.

riddle opened his gates and ran towards the direction he thought the flower thief could be headed. his assumption was correct as he saw the familiar ragged cloak and dirties socks. riddle hid behind a food stall that had no employee. his stale grey eyes watching over you. you rubbed your hands together and blew into your cold palms to keep yourself warm. it was rather chilly. you needed some money to keep yourself warm. clearing your throat, you then walked up to strangers and shoved a singular flower in front of them, “have a flower to give to your loved ones to celebrate the holidays! only 10 mandol each!” you gave your best, heartwarming smile and awaited for their answer.

the man in front of you seemed to be taken aback but let out a chuckle, “i dare say that the bundle of florals you are holding as of right now are extremely rare to find back in my hometown,” he started. his voice a tad mysterious. the man gave a grin, showing his slightly sharp teeth and continued, “but, hm, they do look quite fascinating and cheap too, they’ll be perfect for potions. i’ll take a few.” he smiled, passing you a small bag that was hopefully filled with mandol. you smiled to yourself and tied the small bag to your waist with a poorly conditioned rope. “it’s not much for me to stay in a motel but it’ll have to do,” you solemnly sighed, looking up at the passersby and showed them the flowers you had in hand.

in the end, you made quite a large sum of money. it was enough for a place to sleep in and food that would last for three days- five days if you ate sparingly. riddle couldn’t believe his eyes. he felt his chest tighten. you sold his flowers in means to make money out of it. suddenly, all the anger and hatred he felt for you vanished into thin air. all he wanted to do was to help you. he wanted to help you make some money. if he could, he would lend you some but that would mean talking to you and who knows what his mother would do if she found out.

riddle decided it was enough for the night and walked back to his residence.

once riddle’s mother has returned from her trip, she realized how different her son’s mood used to be. the riddle she knew was always vigilant and obeyed no questions asked. but the day she returned from her trip, riddle didn’t greet her like he usually would. in fact, he wasn’t even downstairs! he was sleeping away and it was already time for lunch!

she was not happy about this sudden change in behavior and felt the need to instigate something to change him. let’s just say, the rest of the day was harsh for riddle more than it usually was. he was smacked, insulted, he studied for hours, overworked himself and it was exhausting. but something in him gave him hope. no, it wasn’t the flowers he was looking forward to. it was you- the thief who stole the smeraldo flowers. he never forgot the look on your face- he felt extremely bad. was this what his mother was trying to hide him from the outside world? that not everyone slept comfortably in a nice warm bed? that they don’t always have food to eat whenever they wanted? that they have to fend for themselves and do risky things like steal?

it pained him.

it pained him to see you in that state. your clothes were ragged and it barely kept you warm. you didn’t even have proper footwear! you were wearing socks. it pained him. it made him feel guilty for even getting mad at you when you had no choice.

after a long day of being pushed to the extent, riddle watched you from his bedroom window as you stole all that’s left of the rose bushes however he was surprised when you didn’t run away immediately. you turned around and placed back two smeraldo flowers and left a torn up note on the bush before leaving the manor. riddle was curious on what you could’ve left in that bush and so he threw back the makeshift rope off the window and read the note.

i’m sincerely apologize for the theft of your flowers. i left two flowers so that they wouldn’t get lonely.

riddle felt his eyes well up with hot tears. he covered his mouth to stop himself from crying but it was too late as the tears rolled down his flushed cheeks. how considerate do you have to be? you were already living the harsh reality and yet, you were sweet and kind enough to even care for the flowers. riddle smiled at the note and tucked it away in his pockets before climbing back up to his room.

he had to do something, otherwise it was too late. winter would be arriving soon and he doesn’t know if the money you earned from this day’s bundle of flowers would be enough for you to stay at an inn for the rest of winter and at the start of january. riddle felt determined to help you more than ever.

you never stopped taking the flowers from his garden. seeing as the smeraldo flowers were all gone (except for the two flowers you left), he stole other species of florals. marigolds, roses, dandelions, moonflower, morning glory, every flower in the garden. riddle didn’t pay no mind to it. he was busy making something even more special for you to take so that you would for sure make some profit off of it.

riddle always watched you take his flowers, slowly falling for you in the process. he was caught off guard at his change of emotions and how extreme they were whenever he caught your figure. he didn’t have to deny it- he was in love with you. this caused him even more determined to make something that no one could refuse.

through time, riddle did ponder. what if he just talked to you? what if he just helped you? would you be scared of him because he lived in the manor you stole from? would you be embarrassed? the negative thinking never stopped, it drove him mad. he wanted to be able to talk to you calmly. he wanted to feel you. to hear your voice and tell him he is doing a great job.

riddle let out a sigh of accomplishment, he was finally done. you see, riddle made a flower that was made of glass. it looked absolutely captivating. this would be a win-win since his mother was supposed to teach him this spell anyway and if she found out he achieved it without her help? my, she would be ecstatic! riddle felt giddy and couldn’t wait until nightfall had dawned upon the land.

he watched intently from his window as the glass smeraldo flower shined in the bright night, waiting for your arrival. you would never be able to resist this, now would you? he felt proud of himself- something he rarely felt. but. . . there was an unsettling feeling growing in the pit of his stomach when you never came. hours have passed. it was already 2am.

why didn’t you come back?

days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months. where are you? riddle wondered to himself, feeling glum. he has never felt this depressed and lonely in a while. a tear streamed down his face, he sadly glanced out the window where pure white snow covered the dirt road and some of the hedges and bushes. are you cold? riddle asked, as if he could talk to you telepathically. it worried him. the fact that you haven’t visited in two months.

riddle walked downstairs, his mother greeting him with the smell of strawberry tart, though, riddle wasn’t hungry. he didn’t have the appetite. riddle glanced at his mother, his eyes glossy from the tears. riddle’s mother gave a questioning look- albeit, she was worried what made him feel this way. he turned away and ran straight out the door and escaped the manor while his mother called out after her son.

the redhead didn’t care, however, who gives two fucks? the fact that you haven’t been in his property for over two months worried him to death. he held the glass smeraldo in hand, breathing heavily as he dashed towards the village, eager to find you. his throat and nostrils hurt from the current weather and how he wasn’t in appropriate clothing. his eyes searched everywhere for you, but couldn’t find you wearing your signature ragged clothes and dirty socks. so, he asked the employee of a food stall he hid behind the first time he saw you selling flowers.

“excuse me, have you seen a girl around my age selling flowers around here?” the woman gave him a shocked then saddened expression. “young man, the lady you are looking for has passed away two months ago.”

that sentence alone caused his world to shatter. you. . . you were gone. you were gone from this world and you were never coming back. riddle dropped the glass smeraldo as it broke into pieces, the life in it now fading away. he couldn’t accept it. he wouldn’t accept it. he was an idiot for not talking to you before. why was he such a coward? why did he have doubts? riddle felt tears roll down his cheeks as he hiccuped, trying not to make a sound from crying.

“son? are you okay? if you’re crying from the fact that the girl has passed, you two must’ve been close. she doesn’t have any friends besides you, i suppose.” you never had friends? riddle wiped his tears away and smiled sadly at the food vendor, “t-thank you. . .” he whispered, and picked up the pieces of the shattered glass smeraldo, then left to return back to his home.

the world felt gloomy. it felt like nothing,

who knew that a mere stranger would have a huge impact on him.

“you want to help us paint the white roses?” cater grinned at you, giving you no time to answer and shoved you a bucket of red paint and a big brush. you internally groaned but agreed to paint anyway. it’s not like you had anything better to do. you dipped your brush in the bucket. after painting for a good two minutes, you placed your bucket down to stretch before noticing two unfamiliar flowers in the bush. they weren’t white nor red.

they were a pale blue.

you felt yourself being mesmerized by the flower and stared at it before hearing a voice behind you. you flinched only to realize it was riddle rosehearts: the dorm leader of heartslabyul. “what are you staring at?” he asked from behind your shoulder. “oh, nothing. it’s just strange that these flowers are out of place. . .” you trailed off, staring at the flower once more.

riddle chuckled, “that flower holds a special meaning,” your eyes lit up, wanting to know the meaning behind it. riddle smiled and gripped on the glass flower that he hid behind his back, holding back the tears of happiness he felt welling up his eyes. he never thought he’d see you again.

you came back, flower thief.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．

a/n: happy angst???

#riddle rosehearts x reader #riddle x reader #riddle rosehearts #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland riddle #twisted wonderland riddle rosehearts #female reader #twisted wonderland imagine #fanfiction #angst #happy angst #twst #twst imagines #twst riddle rosehearts

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bngtanah · 4 years

Text

I’m (not) With The Band. | o7

summary: Adrienne is an indie producer who is hired to help co-produce BTS’ next album alongside their resident producer; Suga. Despite the initial opposition on both ends, the pair spend time together, share a few stories, dreams and aspirations and begin to hit it off really well. Wrapped up in the whirlwind of late nights and heated disagreements and reconciliations, Min Yoongi and Adrienne Rolle find themselves growing closer and closer. One night they decide to cross the barrier between personal and professional and do their best make a relationship work against all odds.

pairing: idol!Yoongi x OC

word count: 4.5k genre: drama, romance, smut(eventually)

chapters: prologue| o1| o2| o3| o4| o5| o6| o7| o8| o9| 10| 11|

warning: fluff, workplace relationship, slow burn, sexual attraction, ambw, developing relationship, light angst, making out.

a/n: hey. sup. it’s been forever lmao.

"No, no, I want there to be a subtle kind of...sexiness even without the lyrics"

"But I thought we agreed to go for a different feeling?"

"We did...then I changed my mind"

"So, I guess what I want doesn't matter?"

"For this song- no. No, it does not."

Yoongi wanted to be annoyed by her dismissal and deep down he mostly was, Andy was being unnecessarily difficult with the direction of their latest music-related venture, and although she had shot down nearly all of his ideas today, Yoongi still found himself bowing to her will instead of arguing with her like he usually would whenever she batted those big green eyes at him. He was fairly certain that she wasn't doing this on purpose, enticing him so that he would continue to remain entranced by her attractive features and intoxicating smile, even if she wasn't aware of what she was doing, the results were still the same. She already had him wrapped around her finger without even realizing it and Yoongi hated being so damn malleable.

Today was another day off for the group but with the limited time and amount of preparation they still had to go through t in order to be ready to release their album on time, no one in the group had the luxury of lounging around doing nothing like they had been doing the past few days. Everyone was either practicing, giving interviews or helping out with lyrics for the few songs that were already completed and approved leaving Andy and Yoongi alone in an empty dorm to get some actual work done. They opted out of working at the studio since it was already crowded with Namjoon, Jimin and Hoseok using the computer and mic, Yoongi knew that the dorm would be empty for most of the day, so it gave them a chance to work in peace.

"Look," Adrienne sighed and leaned back on her elbows, they were seated on Yoongi's bed and much closer than they needed to be "I'm sure whatever you're thinking is great but if you guys really want to go for a more mature image with this album you need a song like this. The kind of song that will give you the confidence to strip and give your boyfriend a lap dance even if you can't dance for shit." Adrienne exhaled sharply and glanced up at the ceiling, looking wistful. She wasn't looking at Yoongi, and she hadn't been since she started speaking, but if she was she probably would have noticed the way his eyes ping-ponged between the slight amount of cleavage peeking out of the top of her v-neck and her plump lips that curled into a seductive smile when she spoke that last sentence.

Something about the way she said the previous sentence, however, must’ve given too much of her desire away, because he froze when she exhaled, just to stare her down. When Adrienne finally did glance to the side she flinched slightly under his intense glare but didn't back away.

"Sorry, was that too much? I talk without thinking sometimes..."

"No... that's not-"

It seemed Yoongi hadn’t truly been paying attention to what she was saying before, but now he would have been hanging on her every word if she had the courage to say anything else, instead, they just stared at each other, neither one moving an inch until one of Adrienne's braids fell into her face and Yoongi raised his fingers and brushed the back of his knuckles across her cheek to put it back in place.

His movements were gentle, so gentle that Adrienne could barely breathe– the moment stretched out for so much longer than seemed appropriate, allowing Adrienne to become lost in her thoughts and the realization of just how much she wanted his lips on her to hit her with a heavy awareness. Andy broke under the thought and found herself leaning forward to just do it, to just kiss him like she had wanted to for so much longer than she cared to think about. Yoongi leaned forward as well, the hand that was caressing her cheek moving down to her neck to securely keep her head where he wanted it to be. Eyelids hooded and lips just a few inches apart, their breathing intermingled as they drew closer and closer to their intended goal. Weeks of flirting and mutually explosive tension bubbling just under the surface was just seconds from reaching its peak....until hearing the door handle jiggle broke apart their fantasy.

Suddenly the front door opened, and the sound of Jin's voice blending together with Jungkook's caused the enamored pair to spring apart, quite literally, with Yoongi rolling further into the center of his bed and Adrienne tumbling from the bed to the ground, landing flat on her ass.

"Are you okay?" Yoongi asked quickly, peering over the edge as Adrienne nodded and rubbed the sore spot on her hip where she landed.

"I'm fine, just a little bruise-" She responded with a groan then looked up, the moment between them was long from being forgotten and that was evident in the way Yoongi still peered down at her like he wanted to devour her right then. But, Jin and Jungkook making their presence known in the hallway outside Yoongi's bedroom made them break contact and swiftly pretend to be working, Andy grabbing her notebook off the edge of the bed and Yoongi mindlessly pressing keys on his laptop as the two young men hovered around the entrance and inquired about how their work was going.

"Yoongi's being stubborn, and I am making amazing music, so it's just like always," Adrienne commented from the floor, earning a chuckle from both Jin and Jungkook and an agitated smirk from the target of her jeer.

"Ah, well we won't distract you, keep working hard!" Jin stated as he began to usher Jungkook out the door, who was on the verge of complaining.

"Oh no! You can stay!" Adrienne replied, too quickly, and shot out her hand to stop them from leaving "It would be nice to hear some feedback." She wasn't too certain about being left alone with Yoongi after what had almost happened just a few seconds earlier, even with her sitting on the floor now there was no guaranteeing she wouldn't lose her senses again and do something stupid like try to kiss her coworker.

"Are you sure won't we be in the way?" Jin asked in part, allowing Jungkook to finish off the question even though he was already walking back towards Jin's bed and sitting down. Both of them glanced back and forth from Adrienne to Yoongi for an answer, before finally settling on Yoongi.

"It's fine," he grumbled from behind his laptop screen, "Just try not to make too much noise."

They, of course, did the opposite of what he asked.

Yoongi slammed the door of the Bangtan room so hard Adrienne swore she could hear the frosted glass crack and shatter when he entered the room. She didn't even bother swiveling around in her chair when she heard him come in since she already knew what was bothering him. Yoongi had a meeting with the boss today about a few songs he'd submitted on his own for approval and, judging by his reaction, it probably hadn't gone well.

It was always interesting (terrifying) to see Yoongi so genuinely angry, he was usually so calm and unconcerned by small or big things, but when it came to his music he quite literally wore his emotions on his sleeves and it barely took much to ignite a blaze of fire within him.

"Yoongi-ssi?" Adrienne called as she heard his pacing back and forth behind her.

No answer.

"Are you alright?" Adrienne decided to ask once again when he took a seat on the couch and began running both of his hands down the length of his face.

"Do I seem alright to you?" Yoongi snapped with his face still buried in his hands, his knee was bouncing up and down so quickly it warbled his voice and Adrienne couldn't even find herself becoming offended by his curt reply.

"You don't," Adrienne answered as she spun around to face Yoongi, "That's why I'm asking if you are. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but don't come in here disrupting my time with your bad vibes if just going to be an asshole."

Yoongi puffed up almost immediately, his chest inflating with arrogance and his lips twisting into an aggravated scowl. He looked up, ready to dispute his right to be an asshole whenever he wanted to be, but once his eyes met Adrienne's he deflated and glanced to the side with a heavy sigh. He shouldn't be putting his anger off on her, she wasn't the reason he was upset.

"He said no- again!" Yoongi finally replied with an answer that Adrienne already knew, but she nodded anyway, her gaze never leaving his as he began to rant about not being taken seriously.

"They still look at me and talk to me like I'm still the same kid that auditioned here three years ago, it's fucking humiliating!"

"Did he at least give you some constructive criticism?" Andy asked, trying to remain positive.

"That's not even the point," Yoongi huffed, rising up from his seat, "If it was just about my song not being good enough, I could change that. I can always make better songs but I'm not growing as an artist if I'm constantly being told to write about the same thing in a slightly different way! There are only so many similes and metaphors you can write about someone not loving you the way you love them."

Adrienne frowned and nodded because she understood how he felt. Even when she felt like she didn't know Yoongi as well as she wanted to, it was always very obvious to Adrienne how much his music meant to him, that was something they had in common and it was probably the reason for most of their music-related disagreements. Neither of them would put their name on a project that they didn't know was their absolute best effort.

Yoongi was still pacing back and forth the length of the small studio room in an attempt to work off all the anger that was building up inside him. He stopped abruptly once he felt Adrienne's arms embrace him from behind and her cheek rest against his shoulder, she was wearing platform sneakers that made her as tall as him.

"Do you really think your boss doesn't respect you?" She asked after a few seconds passed and his harsh breathing had calmed some.

"He's not acting like he does," Yoongi muttered over his shoulder.

"You know that's not what I asked, do you honestly think he doesn't respect you? Would he have given you the responsibility of producing an entire album for your group if he didn't appreciate your talent?" Adrienne inquired and picked her head up off of Yoongi's shoulder.

"...Technically he didn't, he hired you to produce it with me." He said quietly, followed by a pained hiss when Adrienne flicked his earlobe.

"Yah! We're getting along, don't ruin the moment!"

Yoongi smiled, it was small and short-lived but it was the first time he hadn't been scowling since he walked into the room and Andy counted that as a win.

"In all seriousness, I know for a fact that he doesn't think you're still the same kid you were when you were training. You should hear the way he talked about you before I met you guys, it was nauseating. I think he recognizes that you've grown which is why he allowed this opportunity, he also knows what's going to sell so try not to take the rejection too personally."

Yoongi exhaled and pressed his lips together, he knew she was right. He may have been taking this a little too personally, but his music was an extension of him, how could he not? After a second of contemplation, Yoongi turned so that he was facing Adrienne and looped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her close to him in a tight hug.

"Thank you," He said gently as they pulled apart and Adrienne smiled widely in response, her grip on his forearms reluctantly growing slack. A moment of charged silence passed between them once again when they were no longer hugging, and Adrienne felt a fleeting sensation of recklessness pass through her once again. They still hadn't talked about what had happened a few days earlier in Yoongi's room, Adrienne was waiting for him to bring it up while being too cowardly to do it herself and Yoongi felt the same way.

"You should do something," Adrienne spoke first.

"What?" Yoongi asked, clearly confused.

"Your song," Adrienne clarified and backed away to save her own sanity. "You should do something with it if you really like it that much. Maybe you can't put it on an album, but you can always release it for free? Your fans would like that"

"Ah, I don't know about that" Yoongi shook his head and returned to his seat on the couch, "The big reason it can't be included on the album is because of the subject matter....it's kind of suggestive."

Andy shrugged and leaned against the back of the office chair "But it would be nice! Think of your fans."

Adrienne pouted and Yoongi caved.

"Fine, but I need you to sing the chorus, and we can't release it anywhere."

"Me? Why? Can't you use Jimin?"

"He's busy, and I doubt he would be comfortable singing some of the lines."

Adrienne's curiosity was piqued but understood what he meant once they actually began recording the song. The word 'suggestive' would have been the last adjective on Adrienne's mind as she read the lyrics as well as she could and sang along with Yoongi's direction; explicit would have been her first choice. It was a catchy song, that was definitely true, but Adrienne understood immediately why it couldn't be included on the album. They finished the song in just a few takes and quickly got back to working on the album like they were supposed to be. It was well into the night before either of them left for home and Adrienne made a quick stop to one of the few cubicles that were still occupied with someone working. It was an assistant name Soo-Bin whom Adrienne wasn't overly friendly with, but she still knew her by name. She quickly asked to post the cover she'd mixed and arranged for Jungkook before she left for the night since she was going to be there a lot longer than Adrienne was. Soo-Bin agreed, reluctantly, and once it was time for her to go home quickly published the first song that seemed to match the specifications Adrienne described.

She wasn't in the mood to double check.

The next morning Adrienne got ready for work with a heavy heart after waking up to a message from Bang Sihyuk requesting her presence in his office, the second she got to work. She hadn't had a one on one meeting with him since she was hired, and she honestly couldn't think of anything they needed to talk about. She wasn't finished with the latest batch of songs and there was still time for her to send them in, so she knew he couldn't have been moving up the deadline, and anything else pertaining to the album was usually just relayed to her through Yoongi or one of the other staff members. There was only one logical reason Andy could think of for him wanting to meet with her alone and that was to tell her that she was fired. The thought alone nearly made her hyperventilate.

Slowly, Adrienne trudged her way towards Bang Sihyuk's office when she was finally inside the Big Hit building. She paused once she was a few feet away from the office door and noticed a familiar face leaning against the door frame.

"Yoongi-ssi?"

"Ah, I was wondering when you'd get here, you're late today."

"It took me a while to get ready..why are you here? Do you have a meeting today too?"

Yoongi nodded, "Yeah, right now. He wants to talk to both of us."

Adrienne sighed a small breath of relief once Yoongi turned and entered the room before her. If he wanted to talk to both of them at once, then the chances of her being fired seemed to be a lot smaller. Andy soon followed after Yoongi and immediately bowed at a complete 90 degree angle once she was inside, the rules of engagement when it came to her superiors were still foreign to Adrienne, and she wasn't sure if she had to bow once she entered his office, but she didn't want to run the risk of possibly offending her boss.

Bang Sihyuk was in the middle of a phone call when they walked in but motioned for them to side down anyway. Andy and Yoongi exchange a short confused glance but their attention was brought back to their boss once he hung up and cleared his throat.

"I'll be quick about this, I'm sure you're both wondering why I called you here," Andy and Yoongi both nodded simultaneously, "The reason is simple really, I need to have a conversation with you about the nature of your relationship and the easiest way to do that is if you're both here together."

Adrienne was confused, she was sure she heard him correctly but the way he said 'relationship' didn't make sense to her.

"Now while I suppose I can't outright stop you, I can strongly discourage you from openly dating so early into Yoongi's career. The group is finally gaining some ground in the music business and a scandal like this could derail all the hard work that-"

"I'm sorry, did you say dating?" Adrienne interjected, trying to sound as respectful as possible but she just had to stop him before all his words began to blur together.

"PD-nim, we're not dating" Yoongi spoke up once Bang Sihyuk answered Adrienne's question with a firm nod.

"Are you sure about that? The song that you put up on the blog yesterday seems to very explicitly suggest otherwise. You don't have to lie to me,Yoongi. Honestly, it's better if we get it out in the open now that way I can protect you if I need to in the future." Bang Sihyuk countered with genuine concern in his tone.

"Song? What song?" Adrienne muttered underneath her breath before the wheels in her head finally started turning "Aish! Soo-Bin must have uploaded the wrong song last night, I asked her to upload Jungkook's cover. She must have gotten the files mixed up" She said to Yoongi who nodded and shook his head.

"That song was never meant to be released to the public, sir" Yoongi explained, "It was just something we recorded for fun but I can promise you that we are not dating or anything like that."

"Truthfully, we are not. I don't have a reason to lie to you" Adrienne tacked on.

Bang folded his arms across his stomach and leaned back into his comfy office chair "Good," he said after a few seconds of tense silence "We've already taken the song down but both of you need to be more careful in the future, you can't afford a mistake like this."

"Yes, Sir."

They both thanked him for understanding before he excused them and allowed them to leave. Adrienne dramatically sighed and slumped into the sofa once they reached the studio.

"I can't believe I thought I was going to be fired today."

"Why would you think that?" Yoongi asked from hovering over the computer console.

"I didn't know you were going to be there, I thought he wanted to talk to me alone and that could only mean one thing."

"You shouldn't take things so personally" He snickered, proud of himself for being able to use her own words against her.

Adrienne rolled her eyes, "This not the same thing, my reason is totally valid" She scoffed "Can you believe he thought we were dating, though? There's no way that would ever happen."

Yoongi stopped fidgeting with the keys on the keyboard just long enough to look back at Adrienne who seemed to be lost in her own thoughts, her statement had struck a chord in him "No way, huh?"

"Hm? Oh! It's nothing against you I just....I don't think I'm your type" Adrienne said with a humorless laugh as she got up to take a closer look at the books on the shelf against the far wall.

"What does that mean?"

"It...means what I said, I'm not your type," Adrienne answered over her shoulder, completely unaware of the utter disbelief written all over Yoongi's face.

His hand latching onto her wrist took her by surprise and Adrienne gasped softly as she was suddenly being pressed against the wall next to the bookshelf, her body sandwiched between Yoongi and the plaster. His knuckles softly grazed over Adrienne's cheeks just like they had days before but this time, there were no braids obstructing her view to excuse his actions. His move was deliberate, and he made that notion clear as his gaze never left Adrienne's face as his hand moved down to her jawline and the pad of his thumb lightly traced Adrienne's' sharp features.

Yoongi only wanted to make a point; that there was no possible way she wouldn't be his type. However, being so close to her. Feeling her chest rise and fall against his body each time she drew a shallow breath he found it hard to stop himself once he'd started. As if of its own accord his head dipped, and he pressed his lips to hers. His free hand cupped the back of her head, holding her there gently. His kiss was soft and almost chaste to start off with, not forcing Adrienne to give any more than she wanted to, but she soon found herself getting lost in their kiss, her lips returning his actions with as much vigor as she could muster. She couldn’t quite explain the feeling that she had right now, it was as if all the blood had rushed from her head and that she was flying, she felt light and grounded all at the same time. Whatever it was she definitely knew she had a word for it now; right.

As much as she tried to ignore it and push her feelings to the back burner for the sake of her sanity and now career, kissing Yoongi felt right and Adrienne could no longer deny that fact. Her arms gripped tightly around his back as she pulled her head back momentarily to catch her breath, she looked up into Yoongi’s eyes and it was as if she was seeing him for the first time. The slight redness in his cheeks made her grin playfully as she sent her lips plunging back to his, her head shifted to the side with precision as she snaked her tongue past his lips. Yoongi no longer felt the need to be gentle, he put his all into the kiss now, and he let her in, tongues massaging and bodies wrapping up in one another as his hand slid down Adrienne's torso to firmly grasp her hips and hold her steady.

The feeling of her fingernails dragging across the skin of his neck ignited a five-alarm fire within Yoongi and just as quickly and unexpectedly as their kiss started, he ended it. Detaching his hands from her waist and immediately backing away like Adrienne was radioactive.

"I'm sorry," He said breathlessly with his hand covering his slightly swollen lips. "I shouldn't have done that" Yoongi croaked, that one moment was validation of something he'd wanted for such a long time, but he couldn't allow himself to completely abandon his self-control.

"Please, don't apologize," Adrienne answered, still trying to catch her breath "You don't know how long I've been waiting for you to kiss me."

"No, I have to because I can't.....we can't...we can't do this Andy!" Yoongi frantically exclaimed, pushing the hair away from his face roughly.

The strength of his response made Adrienne flinch slightly, he wasn't yelling but there was a temper behind his words that she didn't fully recognize, "Okay." She nodded and adjusted her top so that it laid flat over her stomach again.

"I don't want to sound desperate but why?"

"We just can't," Yoongi exhaled and hung his head low.

"I-is it because I'm black?"

He spun around quickly to face her with his expression contorted in confusion, "What? No!"

"Then what is it?"

Yoongi sighed heavily and took a seat on the sofa then patted the seat next to him and gestured toward Adrienne "Come here."

Adrienne followed his command and occupied the seat next to him, he took both of her hands in his once she was seated.

"You heard what PD-nim said today." He started softly, his thumb gentle caressing the back of her palm. "I have a very demanding job. It's not that I wouldn't want to be with you, but I also want to have a successful career and I don't know if I could handle doing both. I know that seems selfish but I've given up so many things in my life to make sure that I can do this to the best of my abilities and I can't become lenient now, no matter how tempting the thought of this is." He accompanied his words with another gentle stroke against Adrienne's cheek.

"If we got together I wouldn't feel right unless I was giving you every part of me and I can't do that and be good at my job, Andy" He frowned and cradled her face with both of his hands "I have so many goals to accomplish before I can give my heart away and I can't just ask you to wait for me...that wouldn't be fair."

Adrienne bit down harshly on her bottom, she understood where he was coming from. Honestly, she did but still didn't stop her from feeling like he was just admitting to being too afraid to take a risk. She didn't voice her opinion, however, he was bearing his heart to her and accusing him of being a coward would undoubtedly only ensure that he would never do that again.

"I understand," She responded with a tight, forced smile; her palms smoothing up Yoongi's forearms until the rested over his hands "I don't totally agree but I understand, your job is important to you and it wouldn't really be fair for me to ask you to put it on hold." Adrienne leaned forward and pressed her lips against Yoongi's cheek long enough so that her lipstick transferred to leave an outline of her lips against his pale skin.

"If you change your mind you know where to find me."

#houseofddaeng #btsguild #bangtanarmynet #bangtanhq #ficswithluv #bts fic #suga fic #suga imagine #bngtanah #inwtb

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khadijatries · 4 years

Text

The End And Beginning- Ateez Fanfic

(Seonghwa x Y/N (Bibi))

(SONG REC: I’M SORRY- THE ROSE)

Bibi was hoping it would feel different when she saw his face. She’d hoped she flushed him out of her system by now.

The Earth continued to spin. The stars they had watched together still glowed impossibly through the universe, just as they did then. She wanted to tell them to shut up. To beg them to disappear already because they were dead anyway. Why couldn’t they go quietly.

Or maybe it was her feelings she was talking to. Because as she stood in the middle of the carpark, with her hands trembling from cold or emotion, tucked into her pockets, she felt like he was the answer. As though if she didn’t run to him right then, she would die.

She tilted her head, hoping that maybe the different angle would provide new perspective on how she felt. That perhaps she was overreacting, and this situation was not all she felt like it was.

Nope. Still handsome. Still painful.

She wondered whether seeing him sitting alone on the speaker box, without the guitar he fine tuned before every performance, looking like more of a wreck than her, should have made her felt better.

Huffing out an ironic laugh, she concluded that she would have felt the same if he’d been sitting with all of his fangirls and laughing raucously, completely happy and satisfied.

Sniffing away her tears, she reached out to him with glassy eyes and pretended to grab his tiny figure and put him in her pocket. She’ll keep this feeling, to remember the ache.

A deep breath, a slow eyelid shutter, a pivot on her heels.

She wouldn’t stay. Neither of them deserved that.

But when the car door closed in a sort of finality she didn’t expect, her flood gates didn’t hold, and Bibi found herself sobbing into the image of her love, isolated from the world because of what they had done.

And yet, all they had done, was fall in love and hope.

Seonghwa knew she was there.

He stayed impossibly still, his heart violently hammering inside his chest, sweat dripping down his brow from the effort it took not to get up and just go to her. Even if she didn’t accept it, he wanted to get on his knees and say, ‘I’m sorry’, and ‘Don’t go’.

None of it would’ve made a difference since she’d made up her mind. They both did. He’d been part of that decision. It was never okay though.

Not when the idea occurred to him. Not when he voiced his opinion to his best friend. Not when he told Bibi. Not when she’d agreed. Not when he walked away. Not when she didn’t answer his calls after his regret.

At every turn his mind, body and soul screamed NO. WRONG. STOP.

He looked down at his phone, at the picture of her eating ramyeon in the middle of the night outside her apartment. He called her that day to tell her that he would never let her go, even if she wanted to leave she couldn’t. She laughed and said she’d never want to. That was months ago.

His grip tightened as the 2 minutes he expected her to stand in the crowd to attain her closure extended into 10 minutes. 15…

Once the clock his 8 30, he would go to her.

But at 8 27, she turned on her heel and Seonghwa couldn’t help but leap after her, frantically searching for her car as the crowd grew thicker, and the concert began.

It didn’t take long to spot it, and her, with dark hair all that was in view as she shook and banged her head against the hooter.

Seonghwa’s heart crumbled, and he did fall to his knees, clutching his chest, muttering apologies, telling her not to go, and desperately swallowing back all his despair.

This distance and separation, besides being unusual for them, was too cruel. But Seonghwa promised that his desire to never let her go would never fade, and that ultimately he would be by her side again.

(SONG RED: ABYSS- JIN BTS)

The birds were talking again. Their incessant chirping was infuriating today, especially since they were talking about her.

“Ah, the poor thing. She hasn’t moved an inch since yesterday.” Bird 1 said, watching her pitifully from its daily perch in front of her window. “I hope she finished the research she was busy with.”

“As if.” Bird 2 scoffed, studying her dishevelled clothes, and unwashed hair. “Is she even still breathing? She hasn’t blinked since we got here.”

Bibi blinked to reassure the birds and slumped deeper onto her desk.

“Poor thing. This must be her first time.”

“What do you mean ‘must be’? It shows that it is.”

“Be nice! She’s going through a lot right now.”

“YEAH BE NICE!” Bibi suddenly got up from her chair, the exhaustion finally getting to her, influencing her degree of delusion.

Just then, the bedroom door shut, and she swivelled around in shock to see her mother standing quietly at the door like she was the one being caught in an insane rage.

“Good morning.” She said sheepishly, approaching Bibi slowly, so as not to startle her already shaken child.

Bibi slumped back into her chair. “What’s good about it?”

Her mother sat at the edge of her bed and studied her quietly. She was worried, of course. Bibi had deep bags beneath her usually clear eyes, and her decisiveness was missing.

“Its Monday.” Her mother said. “And I wanted to remind you that you have work today.”

“I’ll call in sick.”

Her mother nodded, trusting that Bibi had a handle on whatever it is that was happening. “I also wanted to tell you that, although I love having you at home, and your dad is over the moon that you’re staying, we’re both a lot better now, so if you wanted to go back to your apartment, we’d be okay with it.”

“I won’t go till dad is in the clear.” It wasn’t a lie, per say. It was the half truth that Bibi was using to convince herself that it was okay to hide here for a bit longer.

“Okay. But if you need to talk about anything I’m here.” She got up to leave hesitantly, hoping Bibi would open up today, after 3 days of staying couped up in her room, not even eating.

“Go to work, Mom, I’ll be fine.” She weakly convinced her mother. It was hard to believe it herself. Usually, she would at least put in an effort to make sure they wouldn’t worry about her, but that seemed like too much for her right then.

After a firm hug and kiss on the cheek her mom left. She waited to hear her car start and then flopped back into bed.

How did things that felt natural and easy just about a month ago feel like they could kill her to do them now. Smiling for her parents’ sake, even if she was completely exhausted or angry was never any effort. It killed her to think she couldn’t muster the will to care. Or even to bath, eat or sleep, let alone working.

Working….

She had a job. One she’d really wanted.

After a few minutes of staring blankly at her ceiling, Bibi gathered all the strength she had to get up, take a shower and get dressed into something remotely appropriate for work.

With a heavy sigh, and wondering just what the hell she thought she was doing, she packed her unfinished research and case files into her bag that felt unnecessarily weighted. She descended the steps in a daze, grabbing a muffin and sitting at the kitchen counter, still deciding whether or not she should be a menace to society by living.

It was easier said than done to focus her thoughts, when everything she saw, heard and smelled reminded her of him. He was everywhere, even without ever having been there. Even though he never sat at the kitchen counter at her parents’ house, he was somehow sitting across from her now with a very suggestive smile. The smile that got him anything he wanted.

“Go away.” she said aloud, wishing he were actually there.

She wasn’t sure if she would swipe everything off the counter and demand he kiss her, or have him in a headlock to choke the living breath out of him so that he would be really gone. Maybe he would haunt her then, and they could-

“Rude.” He said, tilting his head.

Bibi jumped back, off the stool, tripping on her way, but when she looked back up, he was gone. She frantically looked around the empty kitchen, and… on the other end of the counter was Kj.

She was busy picking at her own muffin, unphased that Bibi was having a heart attack.

“… When did you get here?”

“Do you want me to pretend you weren’t talking to yourself about ways to murder someone?” She lifted her brows in question.

Bibi was about to protest when she realised that was probably what she was doing. “Did… you hear anything else I was talking to myself about?”

“What? Making out?” Kj teased. “Not if you didn’t want me to.”

Bibi huffed out a half laugh, completely surprised herself. Kj paused, eyes wide and pointed at her in shock.

“Did you just… laugh?” Kj grabbed her shoulders and studied her face. “Ohmygod, thank goodness. I thought I would have to make friends in the real world and I wouldn’t because I’m completely incapable of human interaction!”

“And what am I?” Bibi protested, kind of feeling a sudden spike in her energy levels.

“Oh you think you’re considered human? After starving yourself for 3 days? After ignoring my calls? After making me wait outside your door all night? You’re a stone cold bitch, my friend.” Kj spoke frankly, not allowing any of the intense concern she felt for her friend to show.

“You were here? In the house?” Bibi didn’t think she was that far gone so as not to notice her presence.

Kj only nodded and stared. Bibi could tell there were many things beneath this façade she was attempting to put up, that Kj wanted to ask. That her mother avoided asking her.

“OKAY I CAN’T TAKE IT!” Kj burst after 2 whole seconds. “I might cry if you continue to give me this blank look.” She waved a hand in Bibi’s face. Let’s fix you.”

Bibi swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded, because she too, couldn’t stand her own blank stare, the endless tears and the painful fatigue. “I don’t want to stay this way either.” She admitted.

“GOOD! But first you have to drive me to campus and get to work.” She declared, grabbing Bibi’s keys and heading to the car.

Instead of plugging in their usual playlist, Kj waited for Bibi to start the car and pull out onto the road, then asked, hoping she would let her in after all this time. “Want to tell me what happened now?”

“No.” Bibi replied instantly.

“And why not, Bibi?” Kj was sure to lose her patience today. She didn’t like to push, but she was already angry at the world for putting her best friend in this position to begin with.

“Because you would get unnecessarily angry and hurt for me, and one of us feeling shitty is quite enough.” Bibi justified, attempting to switch on the radio.

Kj switched it off immediately. “Are you dumb?” She looked at her blankly. “Do you just not want me to get mad and Seonghwa and beat his ass?”

Bibi would’ve thought it was joke, and it would have been in any other circumstance, but Kj’s tone wasn’t a joking one. Frankly, she was growing redder by the second, and if she didn’t calm down she would combust. And most probably Seonghwa would get the brunt of it since they were on the same campus, and Bibi couldn’t be there to prevent it.

“The only reason you wouldn’t tell me what was going on is if you thought I would try to do something about it.” Kj was right about that, to be fair. Why else would she not confide in the embodiment of confidante for her. “And that would mean that if you told me, and I did get angry, he did do something to get angry about.”

The longer she spoke about him, the more unstable and displaced Bibi felt.

“I didn’t even tell you anything and you’re on a warpath, trying to defend my honour.” She didn’t realise that she was going to shout, but she did, and soon, tears welled in her eyes. “He didn’t do anything wrong, Kj.”

“Then why won’t you tell me what happened?!” Kj shouted back, her throat also growing thick with held back grief.

“Because that’s my opinion! And yours might be different! Just leave him alone!”

“If you think my opinion would be different, maybe your opinion is wrong!”

Bibi pulled over at the entrance of the campus. “It’s over! That’s all you need to know.”

For the first time since they’d begun to shout at each other, the girls looked at each other. They were both dangerously on the brink of crying, brows crunched together and breathing heavily.

Bibi thought that if she continued to think about him, and remember him, she wouldn’t get through this day.

“I’m not angry that you don’t want to tell me what happened.” Kj confessed, still entirely too high strung to talk at a normal volume. “That’s fine. But I am angry that you’re not okay. I miss my friend and roommate. I miss you! I don’t give a shit about Seonghwa. I want you back!”

“Well I’m so sorry to disappoint you, Kj. I’m fucked up and broken, so teach yourself how to make new friends.”

Kj was taken aback and sprang back like she’d been burned. That hurt, but it brought her anger back to a simmering state as she clenched her teeth and nodded. “You’re hurting.” She said quietly. “But you need to let me help you get through it.”

“Go to campus and focus on your own life.” Bibi said, all too tired to continue listening. She didn’t even really know what words were being exchanged. Her head flopped against the steering wheel and when she looked up again, Kj was gone.

She hoped against hope that Kj didn’t make anyone bleed today.

(SONG REC: BANG CHAN- I DONT WANT TO ADMIT)

Seonghwa was standing by the tree for almost an hour now. At first he felt like he was incognito, ducking everytime he saw a silver car pull up, but now he just seemed like a creep, especially with more and more people arriving closer to class time.

He had to be early since he had a few details of a performance to iron out with his band mates, or at least that's what he told himself.

"Seonghwa, the level of stalker is increasing by the second." Wooyoung reminded him, for the 6th time that morning.

Seonghwa's face heated up in embarrassment taking in his position once again. He was only comforted by Hongjoong giving their younger friend a smack on the head with a textbook.

"Focus Wooyoung!" Hongjoong scolded Wooyoung, and continued to tutor him on the bench nearby. He, Seonghwa and Yeosang were the only members of their band who actually cared about their academics, but they always tried to 'encourage' and 'inspire' all of them.

By that it means it most probably involved a textbook beating, or cutting them off from practicing.

"How much longer are we waiting?" San asked from beside him, in plain view, casually leaning against the trunk.

"San! Get back! She'll obviously see you!" Seonghwa chided, and shoved San back to the bench.

"THERE SHE IS THERE SHE IS!" San pointed. Seonghwa whipped around, only to be disappointed at the youngers joke, accompanied by Wooyoungs laughter.

He cried out in frustration and was ready to beat them both up when he caught sight of her car himself.

At that point, he forgot everything. There was only her.

He didn't want to do anything but take 1 single look. That's all he could afford to take. He deserved nothing else.

He was taken out of his reverie when someone tapped him on the shoulder.

He didn't want to take his attention away form her but they were very persistent.

He turned around to find San worriedly pointing at a figure on the pathway, glaring right at him.

Ah. He should have expected this. He was busy thinking about what a big asshole he was.

Kj only stared, however, and continued her run toward campus.

"She does not look happy." Wooyoung quipped. "I would be careful of that one and her resources."

Yeosang wasn't the type to meddle in other people's relationships. But this band became more than 'other people' to him. He would help fix any of their shit in a heart beat. And that kind of scared him. But as he stood, and watched his hyung agonize over, frankly, a very precious gem of a human, a plan began to form in his mind.

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taehyungiejiminie95 · 5 years

Text

BTS Reactions – You bump into them

You glance to the side to pull your face out of the harsh winter winds. It’s getting colder, and it’s both exciting as you pull towards the holiday season and annoying as you wear through your favourite pair of winter boots. At least this is your last class of the day before you can head home for a hot drink and favourite film. It hasn’t been the best week in the world, if you’re honest with yourself. First of all there was that altercation with your professor-

“Oh!” You gasp, pain spiking through your thigh as you’re knocked to the floor. You’d been so busy wrapped up in your thoughts that you hadn’t seen someone barrelling straight into you. They’d knocked you straight down, and now you’ve landed butt-first on the freezing cold ground. You look up with a scowl to face the inconsiderate perpetrator.

Jin

You’re stunned by the face of the man standing above you, eyebrows pulled together in a clear show of apology. He leans over you in all of his beauty, and you suddenly find yourself not so angry about having been knocked over. This man, whoever he is, is quite possibly the most attractive man you have ever laid your eyes. You’ve never been very tactful with people you have a crush on, and this is no exception,

“I’m very sorry, I must not have been watching where I was going,” You nearly melt at the sound of his melodic voice and smile back sheepishly, scrabbling for the words you need to reply to him before coming across as some sort of idiot,

“No, it was me. I was in such a hurry I forgot there was other people running around as well,” You blush, instantly cringing at the words that slip from your lips. But the handsome man just smiles and extends a hand to help you up, which you take gratefully. He grips your hand with one hand and your arm with the other, helping you up in a much more graceful manner than you would have managed on your own,

“If you say so,” He smirks playfully, “Anyway, after knocking you over, the least I can do is walk you to your next class. I’d hate for you to get knocked over by someone else in your haste,” He suggests, not letting go of your arm in quite a gentlemanly way as he guides you in the direction you had previously been going, “It’ll give me the chance to get to know you as well. You’re very pretty,” You choke on your own spit at those words.

Yoongi

“Oh for crying out loud,” You hear an exasperated voice mutter impatiently. Your eyes lock onto a small-ish man, wrapped up warmly to protect himself from the cold, who is clearly deciding whether or not to just bolt off and leave you on the ground. You roll your eyes as you resign yourself to getting up alone, and start silently praying that you won’t slip and fall over again on the icy floor. You probably already have one hell of a bruise to deal with, and you certainly don’t need another of your own doing. Somewhere between mentally cursing that man and wondering how you’re supposed to get up safely, you forget to register a gloved hand wrapping itself around your hands and pulling you upright,

“What are you doing?” You squeak, shocked by his deceivingly strong pull and the fact that he just grabbed your hands despite never having met you before,

“Helping you up. Clearly. I didn’t mean to knock you over, I’m just in a massive hurry. You’re probably freezing,” He rolls his eyes as he checks his watch, cursing under his breath, “So with that in mind, I guess I owe you a coffee or something. If you’re around at 5, wait inside the doors of the music block and I’ll meet you. If not, I don’t care. I really have to go,” The man’s words come nearly as fast as you can process them, and before you can reply he’s darting off in the same hurried stride that caused him to bump into you,

“Hey!” You shout, hoping he’s able to hear you. He’s made quite the distance already, “What’s your name?”

“Yoongi!” He calls over his shoulder. You barely catch it over the howl of the wind, but smile slightly to yourself. Looks like ‘Yoongi’ is going to be buying you your favourite Starbucks order later.

Hoseok

“Oh no! I didn’t even see you there, are you okay?” A loud voice calls, and then a friendly face pops up into your vision. Upon seeing that you are not, in fact, dead (as they had instantly and unnecessarily worried could have happened on such slippery floor) a wide and warm smile instantaneously splits across their face, “Let me help you up, you must be freezing down there,” The man stays true to his word and helps you right yourself on your own two feet before stepping back with the worry of someone who’s built a very unstable tower. You can’t help but giggle slightly, prompting the man to ask if you really are okay, and if you hit your head,

“No, nothing like that. You’re just very kind to help me up like this. I’m having the kind of week where people just walk straight past without sopping,” You confess with a sheepish smile. Th mean looks horrified at the thought, and quickly shakes his head,

“Don’t be ridiculous, how could I walk past after barrelling into you like that? It was totally my fault anyway, I wasn’t looking at what I was doing and where I was going,” He reassures you, “Anyway, who are you? I feel like I owe you a coffee or something for the trouble. I’m Hoseok,” He tells you, talking at a very excitable 100 miles per hour. You decide that you like him, and hasten to tell him your name before letting him guide you towards the campus café. Your next class isn’t even that important really, you decided as Hoseok ushers you into the warmth and tells you to pick any hot drink and any snack you want. Definitely not important, compared to this…

Namjoon

“Oh no, not again,” You hear a harried voice mutter from above you. You squint into the wintery sunlight to try and see the man who apparently has this happen on the regular. Before you get to see through the glare of the sun, you have a firm hand on your hands that’s pulling you up. You stumble a little as you find your footing, before finally meeting the eyes of the perpetrator, “I am so sorry. I’m just the clumsiest person on this whole planet, I was looking where I was going and it still happened, I pretty much just suck at avoiding accidents,” He rambles sheepishly, a light blush kissing the tips of his ears,

“Don’t worry, no harm done,” You tell him comfortingly, and he thanks you with a less sheepish smile. You introduce yourself quickly, and shake his hand as his smile widens once more. You’re suddenly hit with the realisation that this man – this clumsy, very tall, man – is incredibly good looking,

“And I’m Namjoon,” He smiles, before checking his watch with a jolt, “I’m also late for my next class. It was lovely to meet you, and I’m sorry for bumping into you! I hope you’re not bruised or anything. I’ll see you around!” He calls half over his shoulder as he turns away, pulling his coat tighter around him and hurrying away without looking back. You wave half-heartedly at his retreating figure before turning away and heading in the direction of your class, cursing yourself for not getting his number or something. Oh well, you tell yourself, there are plenty of other opportunities, you suppose.

Jimin

The face of who is essentially the campus’ poster boy stares down at you with concerned eyes. You almost choke in shock – imagine the Park Jimin being so rude as to knock down a walking student! He almost looks as if he’s going to cry,

“I am so sorry! I was so busy thinking about things I wasn’t even looking at where I was going! You must be freezing down there, please let me help you up,” He gushes, pale cheeks starting to flush pink slightly. You try to smooth your frown into a smile as best you can, not wanting to upset Jimin any further. He’s just so kind to everyone, and making him fret kind of feels like kicking a puppy. You take his hand graciously and stand up, brushing off your leg as you do,

“Don’t worry about it, I was just as preoccupied,” You reassure him, readjusting your bag slightly, “We all have days like this,” Jimin nods in a solemn way, before bursting out into a heart-stopping smile and thanking you for being so understanding, “Don’t mention it. I won’t keep you for long, we both probably have somewhere to be! I’ll see you around,” You reply, trying to play it cool. There’s nothing Jimin doesn’t do at this college – student body, dancer, singer, sports, top of every class and a regular heart breaker. He always turns down those who make an advance, so despite your slight crush on him, you say nothing,

“Yeah, definitely,” He nods a little too eagerly, his smile not faltering for even a second as you go on your way. If his eyes linger on your retreating form for just a few moments too long, nobody really notices.

Taehyung

“Woah!” An excited voice shrieks from somewhere behind you, “Guys, you go on! I’ll catch up in a second,” They call. The statement is followed by heavy footsteps and then a wide boxy smile appears just inches above your face, “I didn’t even see you there, you were in such a hurry!” They explain, “Here, take my hand and I’ll help you up,” You oblige quickly, a little overwhelmed by their bubbly nature and clear ability to hold a whole conversation one-sidedly, “I’m Kim Taehyung, who are you?” They ask with that sustained eagerness. You can’t help but smile at the cute guy as you tell him your name, “That is such a pretty name! So, where about are you headed? I feel awful for knocking you over, so I’ll walk you there. I’ll be able to get to know you as well,” He beams, and you wouldn’t be able to refuse even if you wanted to,

“I’m heading in that direction for my next class,” You explain, pointing the way you’re heading. Taehyung smiles in response and ushers you onwards. It’s a short walk to your lecture room, but Taehyung is a natural at conversation. By the time you arrive outside the room, you feel like the best of friends. Taehyung turns to you with that same boxy smile,

“Here’s my number,” He tells you, scribbling on a piece of paper he magicked from his pocket and handing it to you, “Text me if you ever want to hang out. You seem really nice and I would love to be able to see you after not nearly killing you on the super dangerous and icy floor,” Taehyung continues. You take the paper with a nod, assuring him you will, “See you soon then!” He chirps, before darting off in the same way that he appeared.

Jungkook

The man stood above you looks a little lost as he whips his head around, clearly in a rush himself. You can almost read the turmoil on his face as he’s torn between hurrying off to wherever he needs to go and doing the right thing by making sure you’re okay. You can also pinpoint the exact moment he makes his choice, kneeling down on the icy floor beside you. With a sad smile, he dips his head in an apology as he helps you pick up your things, which had spilled when you fell,

“Sorry about this. I’m late to meet a friend, and he hates when I’m late,” He tells you, his messy brown hair falling into his doe-like eyes. You smile reassuringly as you stand up (nearly slipping over again) and take your things back from him,

“I know the feeling. I’m always running around 5 minutes late for everything,” You confide, and the man laughs – he really laughs. He sounds carefree and young, and even though he can’t be much older than about 20, it still manages to make him look even younger. He tells you his name (Jungkook) with a shy smile and you tell him yours, before the both of you fall into an awkward silence. Even though you’re both in a hurry, it’s like neither of you quite wants to leave yet,

“Could I maybe- uh- well, could I- get your number maybe?” Jungkook asks, face flushing despite the cold. He comes across as someone who’s quite confident, but maybe there’s something else under all of that. You nod your agreement as he hands you his phone and you rapidly type in your number, fingers shaking slightly in excitement. Who knew your day could pick up like this? Maybe it isn’t quite the worst day of your life.

#bts #bts reactions #bts fluff #bts jungkook #bts jimin #bts v #bts taehyung #bts jin #bts seokjin #bts yoongi #bts suga #bts hoseok #bts jhoope #bts namjoon #bts rm

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slaminthebackofmy · 4 years

Text

i’m gonna put my playlist on shuffle and write what the songs remind me of while i listen to them, no one asked and no one cares but i’ve had so much caffeine and sugar today that there is no way in fresh hell i am going to bed anytime soon,

this is unnecessarily long, i’m just terrified of losing memories and i need these written down

deadroses - blackbear - september 2019 when i was getting ready for school. i used a rose cleansing water and the smell of it reminds me of this song, it was super warm and i had just come back from vacation in bulgaria with my family. used to watch the sunset with this song pretending i’m the main character. one time we went to a supermarket on the outskirts of town with this blasting in the car

anxiety - blackbear - almost the same as the previous one, october 2019 when i got led lights under my bed and i was just calming down from 4 months of paranoia and sleepless nights

one for the road - arctic monkeys - weird mood in december when all i would listen to was arctic monkeys and the nbhd, spent most nights on the dining room table blasting these just quiet enough to not wake my parents upstairs, my neighbours probably wished murder was legal

miroh - skz - miroh came out about a month after i found skz so i was still new to their music and the day it came out i was kinda sick and staying home from school so i got to enjoy the full thing in peace, i spent the next few days watching finding skz and then i blasted this throughout april which was a weird and rough month oh and also i started that other writing blog

often - the weeknd - i used to blast this in the 8th grade while i played that one paper airplane flash game before i discovered the magic of headphones fkgslkjgn

sweater weather - so many memories attached to this pretty bitch, finding it first through a sam and colby vine, walking home in the 6th grade from the dentist at night, standing on my balcony and watching super strong winds bring in very dark storm clouds almost completely covering the light from the sky above, except for one small window of light, last december

fantasy - dye - i found this i think last summer but it reminds me of my childhood and watching samurai jack for some reason

rumors - neffex - i accidentally clicked on a lyric video for this while i was staring at the moon one evening and the sky in the background picture of the video was exactly the same as the sky i was looking at and it just reminded me of a mid 2000′s teenagers room in my town, like older boys i used to have baby crushes on as a kid would have a room like that, gray walls, wooden desk with a computer and a bed with gray sheets with a window right above it and moonlight shining in, a red electrig guitar mounted on the wall and a skateboard leaned against the wall

arabella - arctic monkeys - i listened to an hour loop of this for a week straight non stop in december, i specifically remember dec 21st and wrote a lot on here

do i wanna know - arctic monkeys - there’s a few with this one, firsty it’s finding this song in the 9th grade when i was going to a youth club and i started listening to it because a girl from france that was there that i had a crush on liked it, secondly, finding bts in 2018 and listening to this while staring at the stars in a black tshirt, flannel and jeans with converse(yes i was that kid) and feeling the very moist air hit the back of my neck after we just got back from someone’s house that was selling clothes from home.

i miss the old u - blackbear - a lot of these are on my balcony because i love the sky lol but this one is too and just standing on my balcony in autumn 2019 after i got back from school just to watch the sky melt into a coral pink and orange

how you like that - blackpink - summer 2020, all i did was learn to play the ukulele and struggle with an issue i don’t wanna mention, the entire summer, with this playing in the background, i got my new laptop so i blasted this on there instead of my phone like most of the others on this list, also worked out to this song a lot

fly away - thefatrat - playing transformice in 2017 for HOURS and talking to dodgy people on there

dirty laundry - blackbear - you guessed it, getting ready for school in 2019, same as most other blackbear songs

god’s menu - skz - this came out the day after i got my laptop and the day that i got my ukulele, i remember watching the online concert while i waited for my mum to come home and bring me the uke, i watched it in my room in the dark and i literally had way more fun that i probably should have but they were so hyped up it was lovely

chateau - blackbear - autumn 2019 on my balcony watching the sunset

wonderland - caravan palace - similar to how you like that, listened to this all of summer 2020 while i was struggling with that issue, i used to pace around the second floor of my apartment with this song on and strut to the beat

feel special - twice - just when school started in 2019, i watched every studio ghibli movie that summer so i associate this song with those, i used to get ready for school with this blasting, and i remember dreaming about sana sitting in the rain a few times

pumped up kicks - going home from bulgaria in 2017 and getting stuck with no gas or cash in a little border town, we got there super late and most money exchanges were already closed so we had to get money from someone’s basement:) also summer 2020 when i learned to play this on the uke and it’s super easy and still my favourite one to play

why’d you only call me when you’re high - march 2018, i was making sugar cookies with leftover frozen dough from the last time i had made them, and while they were in the oven i went out on the balcony just to stare at the stars on the west

wow - danceracha - january, gameshow, that’s all i’m gonna say, i’ve been skipping through the songs once i wrote what i had to say but i’m gonna have to let this absolute bop play through, it’s the gay in me, why is this song so good what the FUCK

faggot - msi - reminds me of my childhood for some reason i think it was played a lot in some places, reminds me specifically of when i would walk home with my mum and see people sitting in an internet cafe we passed everynight that had neon signs inside

chronosaurus - april 2019, lee know saying tick tock tick tock getting closer was stuck in my head, almost got youtube premium just to be able to download that music video, may 2019, went on a school trip and listened to this on the days leading up to it, currently waiting for lee knows tick tock tick tock getting closer to play omfg why does he say it so well sjflkfj

505 - arctic monkeys - autumn - winter 2020, just sat in my dining room playing this and staring off into space

victory song - skz - LISTEN TO THIS 승전가, jisung and chan lifting their shirts lived rent free in my mind for a few months after this came out

cherry - itzy - summer 2020, issues and dancing a lot

get cool - skz - just got into them, feb 2019, used to listen to this when i was trying to learn their names🥺

hayloft - mother mother - oooohh a recent one, late january 2021, fell in love with a tiktok girl and decided to get my life together, played geoguessr with this on loop

love scenario - ikon - may 2018 when i was just really starting to get into kpop, this was one of the first non bts songs that i loved, i used to listen to it while reading wattpad lol

snap out of it - jan 2021, gameshow, reminds me of felix for some reason

hot girl bummer - late summer 2019, crying at night because of anxiety and pretending i was okie dokey during the day

daddy issues - the nbhd - may 7th 2018, super stormy outside, it was my younger cousins birthday, i spent the day in this one oversized shirt with donald duck printed all over it pretending i was talking to my crush at the time and staring at the rain clouds

be with you - cadmium - summer 2020, pacing around my apartment and those issues and finding this song through a video about those issues, i can’t find the channel anymore:(

reckless healy - january 2020, i was doing eyeliner all the time and just vibing, i had my doggie and all i did was scroll through tiktok and listen to music

ghost - confetti - november 2020, pretending i was the main character while singing this through my entire apartment

knee socks - arctic monkeys - same exact thing as arabella

goodnight i’ve been writing for so long and i’m finally tired

#for me #u can see my sparkle dying out as i continued the songs lol

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sunyoonandstars · 6 years

Text

Orange Juice 🍊 || BTS One Shot || You x Domestic! Yoongi

So, this is loosely based on a request that reached me quite a while ago. I’m sorry it took so long and hope you’re still pleased with the result. 💖

Scenario

You had always been a fighter, fending for yourself, too afraid of abandonment to allow any sort of attachment, believing you needed to be independent so as not to be a burden. Things change, though. And your husband Yoongi feels the need to remind you of that ...

angst, fluff, slice of life

Word Count 1.679

"Y/n, baby," Yoongi spoke up in a soft tone when you refused to let go of the whisk and bowl. "Would you set those dishes down for a second, please, and look at me while I talk to you?"

Hesitantly, you did as he asked, allowing Yoongi to spin you around in his arms.

Orange Juice

"Yoongs? Yoongi!?"

This was the third time you had called for him. Still no response.

"Min Yoongi!"

In a matter of seconds, you could hear him approach now, dragging his feet, taking his own sweet time.

"What is it?" he greeted you with a yawn, stretching his limbs, eyes still half-closed, hair tousled.

"Could you please help me and take some of these groceries to the kitchen? I feel like my arms are about to fall off.“

"What?"

Puzzled, his weary eyes started wandering, from your flushed face to the bags of groceries down by your feet and back up again.

"When –? I – I didn't even realize you were gone. Why would you leave like that, without saying a word? And go shopping all by yourself? In this heat? In your state?"

Instantly wide awake, concern spreading across his features, Yoongi stepped closer and gently placed a hand on your rounded belly, sighing in relief only when he could feel his son kick against the palm of his hand.

"Y/n, you should have woken me up. We could have taken the car, for God’s sake! You shouldn't – What if –? Y/n, seriously. Don't ever do something like that again. It's unnecessarily reckless. You're in your third trimester; the doctor said to take things slow, go easy."

"I know what the doctor said," you huffed, rolling your eyes. "But I'm pregnant, not fatally ill. And I can't stand being holed up in here all day every day! Besides, you were so tired out from last nights performance; you basically fell into a coma the second your head hit the pillow. Not even my alarm woke you up. It just seemed like you desperately needed some more rest, and I can handle some light shopping on my own."

"Light shopping?" Yoongi frowned, head tilted to one side as he pointed at the two giant paper bags you had already set down and the one you were still clinging to, all three of them full to overflowing.

"Well, our fridge was empty, and it's Friday, so I needed to stock up for the weekend. And –"

"Babe, you're sweating," Yoongi shook his head, giving your temple a few light dabs with the rim of his pajama shirt.

"Gee! Thanks for pointing that out," you scoffed. "I feel much better now. Not only am I a fat whale, no. I'm a sweaty fat whale."

"Y/n, you know I didn't mean it like that." With a tender smile, struggling to hide his amusement at your adorable little outburst of self-deprecation, Yoongi leaned in to breathe a kiss against your damp forehead. "It's not like it bothers me. Not at all. I'm just concerned for your health, that's all."

"Well, don't be. I'm all right. As soon as you take this bag, that is. Because it's terribly heavy."

Pursing your lips in theatrical, no, almost comical discontent, you rudely shoved the shopping bag that had gotten stuck between your pregnant belly and Yoongi's chest into his open arms.

"All right, all right," he laughed. "Just leave the bags, babe. I'll do the rest."

"Thanks," you smiled as you got on your tiptoes to give your husband a quick peck on his chapped lips before you turned away and made your way to the kitchen. "Jesus, Yoongi. You forgot to have enough water after the concert again, didn't you?"

"Might have," he shrugged in picking up another bag. "Damn. These are heavy! How did you manage to carry them all the way home? Are you insane? Or are there any hidden superpowers I should know of? Did I unknowingly marry the Hulk, by any chance?"

"Oh, shut up, Min!"

Even though he couldn't see you from out here in the hallway, Yoongi could picture you shaking your head with a smile on your face.

"You know I used to live alone for years, Yoongi," you continued, by the sound of it already busy brewing coffee and preparing breakfast. "I even moved my furniture all by myself because I couldn't afford to hire people. And, well, I was new to a strange city and didn't have any friends. Not that I do now. Lol."

"Did you just –?"

"Yes, I just said 'Lol'. Out loud," you snickered.

"I'm appalled."

Watching you go through every possible cabinet in search of the right pan to cook up his favorite omelet, Yoongi quietly placed the groceries on the kitchen table, so as not to attract any unwanted attention. Because, right now, he just wanted to observe you. To take in the sight of his incredible, beautiful, strong and caring wife who carried his first child under her infinitely big and loving heart – and who still would not allow him to lighten her burden. Stubborn as ever. Relentlessly refusing to accept any kind of help whatsoever.

"Baby," Yoongi eventually, reluctantly, raised his voice again as he came up to you, wrapping his arms around you from behind and placing his chin on your shoulder, still leaving you with enough elbow-room to resume cooking, seemingly unbothered. "You know I love you. And I'm proud of you for having made it this far, all on your own, without any support from your folks. And I admire your desire to be independent and all. So, please don't hate me when I say this."

"I could never hate you, Yoon," you said, your voice disturbingly calm. "Whatever you have to say, don't hold back. You know you can always be open with me. I can handle it."

Your body language, however, called you a liar. Yoongi knew you well enough by now to be able to tell that you had long caught on to him.

Your movements, as you stirred the egg mixture, were slowing down noticeably, and he could feel you watch him out of the corner of your eye, your ears perked up, ready to hear what he had to say.

As far as Yoongi could tell, your alarms had gone off already. And had you been in an earlier stage of your relationship would this have been the time for you to run, to avoid any sort of confrontation, afraid to lose him or to be lost.

But now things had changed. You were married and about to be parents. There was no running away anymore, however scared you might be. The last thing he wanted, though, was for Yoongi to make you feel trapped in this marriage. So, he gently let his hands slide down your arms and took hold of your wrists, forcing you to stop taking your anxiety out on the innocent eggs.

"Y/n, baby," Yoongi spoke up in a soft tone when you refused to let go of the whisk and bowl. "Would you set those dishes down for a second, please, and look at me while I talk to you?"

Hesitantly, you did as he asked, allowing Yoongi to spin you around in his arms.

"I know I probably told you this a million times already, but I'll happily repeat myself a trillion times more if that's what it takes for you to hear me when I say –" He paused, taking a deep breath while his palms tenderly cupped your blushing cheeks. "– You're not alone anymore, y/n. I'm here. I'm here for you, for us, for this child that we will raise. Together. I mean it. I'm here. Always and forever, for as long as I live. I'm not going anywhere. I won't leave you, not ever. And even though I may not always be the best husband or father, I will try. I will learn. Because that's what matters most to me. You, this baby, our family. I made this. We made this. Together. We're a team now and for life. I know how you must have felt when you were younger, before we met. How scared you must have been, believing you would be alone forever. And I get that you thought you needed to be strong and guarded in order to survive, that you wanted to be independent and prove to yourself and everyone else that you could do it all alone."

Carefully, Yoongi dried your tears that had started flowing at this point, continuing to brush them away with the tip of his thumb. He couldn't help but mirror your smile, though, as you tried to avoid his gaze only to fail time and again because he kept on craning and twisting his neck just to catch your glance again.

"But those days are over now," he continued, lifting your chin so you would have no choice but to look him in the eye. “They’re in the past. And I’m not saying you should rely on me entirely. But there’s no need for you to fend for yourself anymore, y/n. Whatever may come, we're in it together. Do you understand? And I want to be there for you, y/n. I want to help you where I can. Sure, when I'm away, on tour or for promotions, I won't always be physically available to you. But you can still come to me with all your troubles and concerns. And you will never be a burden to me. I love you, y/n. And I want to be there for you in sickness and in health, in whichever way I possibly can. Even if that means getting a few hours less sleep to help you carry a ridiculous amount of groceries in the burning summer sun. All right?"

"All right," you grinned, your eyes smiling at him through a blur of tears.

"And now let's make some breakfast," Yoongi announced, going on to kiss you on the forehead. "Together. You make the eggs. I'll squeeze some orange juice."

"Oooh, really?" you gasped, failing to conceal your excitement.

"Of course," Yoongi chuckled. "Anything for you, babe. And I know how badly you've been craving fruit lately."

"You're the best."

"I know."

"I love you, Min Yoongi."

"I know," he smirked.

"That's not what I wanted to hear."

"I know."

I hope this brought a smile to your face, because that’s what it was meant for.

Have a lovely day. 💖 And feel free to take a look at my Masterlist for more BTS fiction.

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hellreads · 5 years

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I'd like to ask your opinion on something. I wanna start writing, but i dont know where i should put them. I prefer using Tumblr, but then i'd have to work a lot on maintaining the blog, but it'd look more organized and custom-made. As for AO3, i dont really use it, but i feel like i'd just be able to post a fic and leave it there without having to worry too much about it. What's your take on this? Do you have any preference?

hello there darling, first of all, welcome to the world of writing fanfiction for BTS (or other groups), I’m sure you have something written or drafted already and you’re just contemplating on which platform is the best? my opinion as a reader would be to post your works on as many platforms you want and can maintain despite your busy schedule, it guarantees more exposure for your works since some prefer reading on tumblr only or ao3 or wattpad or asianfanfics etc. plus it will reduce the chances of your stories getting plagiarized.

now, between Tumblr and AO3, with Tumblr I enjoy seeing the writers headers/banners/moodboards it somehow helps set some sort of mood because I appreciate visuals tbh, also, we could always use the +read later/reading list feature on google chrome to read their works offline when I’m on the go, and here are some downsides of Tumblr, one, the “keep reading” feature, I hate that even if you’re certain you added it on your post it magically disappears (wtf Tumblr, go home, you’re drunk hasdgfjkhsa) two, the links get fucked up somehow, three, the tagging system isn’t the greatest and four, their algorithm is weird af. as for your works getting exposure and love here, it will take some time since you’re new, so I highly suggest you join networks for writers because they will share your stories which increases the chances of your works getting seen and read by their followers, and another good thing about tumblr is you can interact with your readers here, you receive feedback, some send direct messages and others talk with you thru asks (some anonymously because they get really shy)

AO3 is heaven-sent! though I have no idea how posting stuff there as a writer works or if there’s a huge difference with how you post on Tumblr (I’m assuming there’s a lot because AO3s tags are specific - at least those I’ve seen during my infinite trips on the site) I love scouting fics there, one, because there are so many amazing writers there that don’t have Tumblr, two, their filtering system is helpful especially if I’m looking for specific aus, genre, characters, kinks or if I prefer reading completed series on certain days, three, I prefer reading on my phone, I use lithium on my android and books on my iPhone, ao3 gives us an option to download the stories in the ff. formats azw3 (kindle), epub (nook, kobo, books and other electronic publication readers), mobi (mobipocket), pdf (portable document), html (hypertext, for browser reading) ~ btw, I always get the epub one, now why do I prefer it over reading via Tumblr? because the Tumblr app crashes especially if I’m reading monster one-shots/series plus I highlight and add notes when reading so I highly appreciate that feature from ao3.

now it’s all up to you in the end which platform you think would work best for you, your time, and schedule, btw I just noticed that ao3 has so many diverse stories and readers that are much more accepting especially with dark and taboo ones, as for feedbacks idk which site has more people that give their opinions to the writers, and on maintenance Tumblr does require more of it compared to ao3, so I guess that’s it? sorry if this was unnecessarily long I’m just a talkative one, I hope you make the right choice and enjoy writing for your faves! have a lovely day/night my dear! ❤️ | 🍒

#answered #tete-a-tete #qq #anon #srsly idek if this answered your question or if it's helpful in any way ggfadshjfghasjdfgakjhs #but this is just being me so talkative hadsgfkjsdfg #but hopefully this helps!#good luck on your writing my dear :)

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welovelb · 6 years

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Community Is Vital

We are thrilled to be partnering with the Art Theater Long Beach to show this important documentary SUMMER IN THE FORREST tomorrow, 4/29 at 11:00am at the Art Theater.

SUMMER IN THE FORREST is about Jean Vanier, who founded L’Arche in the 1960s as community near Paris that has become home to many men and women with developmental disabilities. The filmmakers follow Mr. Vanier, now in his 80s, as he lives and works with those who have Down syndrome and other conditions.

For SUMMER IN THE FOREST Movie Tickets and Information:

http://72268.formovietickets.com:2235/T.ASP?WCI=BT&Page=schedule&SelectedDate=20180429

After the screening, We Love LB will host a powerful Q&A. We are honored to have three special guests, who have spent their lives striving to shape a Long Beach community that is more loving, inclusive, and aware of all people with all abilities. One of our guests, who will be sharing after the film is Ricky Nguyen

Here is a glimpse into Ricky’s incredible story.

WLLB: How does having a special needs child affect the way you value community?

Ricky Nguyen: I’ve always believed that being a part of a community is vital, that the feeling of being included and accepted is something we all seek as human beings. Before my son’s diagnosis, I really felt like we had that. It was strong, tight knit, and served its purpose at that point in our lives. But you know...communities change. They are as malleable and fluid as we are. And as our needs and circumstances changed, so did our desire for a community that would adapt to those changes. Having a child with special needs didn’t radically alter our sense of what a community was, but rather, it shifted the way we accessed it and how it would come to serve us as a family. I began to realize that it wasn’t enough to just be present, but that we had to participate in it to make sure it was the best fit for us and, most importantly, our children. So we did! We connected with some amazing families at our son’s school, started attending district sponsored CAC meetings, began seeking out special needs friendly events/programs in our area, and made a concerted effort to get out of our bubble and really expand our network. It’s been a revelation and I couldn’t be prouder and more satisfied with our growing community.

WLLB: What is a piece of advice that you would give parents of a child with special needs who wants to educate and spread awareness?

Ricky: Do what you can and, maybe more importantly, do what you’re comfortable with. Awareness doesn’t ask that you put your life on hold to raise that banner 24/7. That’s taxing, and, ultimately, unrealistic. Tackle awareness and education on you own terms. Keep it organic, keep it honest, and know that it can happen anywhere...a grocery store, a PTA meeting, a playground, even your local Starbucks. I’ve come to learn that something as simple as exposure is enough to change some minds and spark some much needed dialogue. I try my best every day to not shield my child from experiences/people unnecessarily and take each encounter (whether good or bad) as a teachable moment. So be willing to share your experiences, tell your stories (the good ones and even the not so good ones), but always practice some discretion as your audience might not be as receptive as you’d like. I’ve definitely had my fair share of missteps and obstacles, but I’ve found that aligning myself with likeminded people in safe and welcoming spaces has done wonders for promoting and guiding my messages of awareness. So seek out those channels, use the resources at your disposal, and always do what feels right for you whether it be at a local/national level or just sitting down with friends and family and having an honest conversation.

WLLB: What’s been the most challenging part of raising awareness for your family?

Ricky: Without question, it would be visibility. It’s the constant emotional tug of war that comes with too much disclosure or, at times, not enough. My wife Julie and I honestly struggled early on with how and when to talk to our friends and family about our son’s autism. We were constantly reconciling our presumptions with other people’s presumptions and oftentimes ended up right back where we started...confused and alone. We wanted to talk about his autism, talk about the challenges of our daily life, HIS daily life...but do it in a way that didn’t misconstrue our true intentions, immediately invoke sympathy or worse...dismissiveness. Compound that with the generations worth of cultural stigma surrounding mental illness from our parents and we were grasping at straws most of the time. It was a process, one that strained relationships, tested friendships, and kept us up on countless nights...but it was one that needed to happen and one that helped us learn so much more about ourselves and what awareness really looks like. Today, we talk openly about his autism. We remain honest, but we pick and choose the moments we want to share with the world. They’re silly, celebratory, occasionally tough, but always real. I guess that’s what awareness looks like for us now. We can live with that.

WLLB: Final thoughts?

Ricky: Find your community. Wherever it may be, whatever it may look like... find a place where you belong and feel accepted. And make sure it is respectful, honest, and sensitive to needs of all of its members. That’s what inclusion means to us and that’s the community we’re all striving for. It may not always be easy, but then again, it’s not as hard as you think. Work at it, nurture it, and be accountable for it. Because you know...it’s a community, not fairy dust.

For SUMMER IN THE FOREST Movie Tickets and Information:

http://72268.formovietickets.com:2235/T.ASP?WCI=BT&Page=schedule&SelectedDate=20180429

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flordemens · 7 years

Text

Ephemeral Iridescence

Pairing: Wonho x OC

Characters: Wonho, OC, Monsta X, BTS

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Romance

Haru watched as the vibrant color swirled around her hands, glowing red for the anger she felt. Seeing all the colors of the damn rainbow was horribly useless. She already knew what mood she was in, Haru didn't need the stupid colors to show her.

What was the damn point of all of this?

Day in and day out she wished for something to change, longed for the colors to disappear. But what happens when Haru can suddenly see someone else's colors?

Well, isn't life just one cruel motherf*cker

Haru had always been able to see the colors swirling around her fingers, ever since she was five.

At first, she thought they were beautiful and amusing, like little silk ribbons. Haru enjoyed watching the beautiful colors flow and dance before her eyes.

“Haru baby, why do you keep looking down at your hands?” Her father asked her at the age of eight. “The colors around my hands are a pretty light blue papa,” Haru smiled and looked up, raising her hands so her father could see for himself. “There’s nothing on or around your hands, Haru. What are you talking about?” He asked, confusion scrunching up his features. Haru retracted her hands to her lap, staring at how the color slowly changed from the light blue to a muddy orange. “The colors. You can see them, can’t you? See, right now it’s orange!” Haru said excitedly again as she stretched her hands straight up in the air above her head. “Haru, there’s nothing there…”

After insisting that she indeed had colors floating around both of her hands, her parents decided to take her to a psychiatrist. There had to be some logical reasoning as to why she was seeing these things.

Just as she had explained to her parents various times, she explained the colors to the psychiatrist, but this time with much less enthusiasm. Haru knew the reaction she would get.

Soon after the visit, Haru was told by her parents that she needed to take medicine to make the colors go away; because as they had worded it, ‘it wasn’t normal.’

But the medicine did nothing for her. After taking it for half a year, she could still see the colors just as clearly.

The kids at school would tease her for taking her medicine. They told her she was all sorts of crazy and that no one should go near her because they would catch whatever she had.

Soon enough, she grew to dislike the fact that she could see her colors. If she was the only one who could see them, what was the point? It was wasted beauty.

As she got older, the emotions flooding her system wreaked havoc before her eyes.

Sparks of a variety of reds would shoot up into her field of vision when she would get angry and light swirls of feathery yellow would cover her hands when she was happy. When she was sad, a deep blue would stagnate at her fingertips, looking almost as invisible as she felt.

She dealt with how she felt by herself for the longest time. She pretended to take her meds to make her parents happy and she never mentioned the colors to anyone unnecessarily.

Then one fine high school spring day in her first year, she met them.

Life was infinitely better from then on, bright yellow flowing out from her hands more often than she had ever seen in her whole life.

Now, Haru was in her second year at Korea National University of Arts, majoring in fine arts.

Haru loved every minute of being able to photograph beautiful scenery, but her favorite was taking photographs of people. There wasn't anything more satisfying to her than capturing a human’s natural beauty through her lens, and them feeling equally as confident about themselves after. It made the yellow swirls extend all the way to her elbows when people got a confidence boost from her work.

But today was a Wednesday, and Haru absolutely hated Wednesdays.

Wednesdays meant she had pure general education courses, meaning she would be bored out of her mind all day.

Since second semester of last year, Haru planned for Wednesdays to be the main day to get her gen eds out of the way so she could enjoy her major classes in peace.

As Haru got up from her bed, she looked at her left hand pressing down on the mattress, a mist of gray floating over her hand. She sighed and grabbed her phone to check the time, only to see a message from her mom asking if she’d taken her pills yet. She typed out a quick yes, a little white lie she told her mother every day. Haru lived alone in a one bedroom apartment with her cat Butter, what her mom didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.

She glanced at her hands again, the gray starting to turn into a hot pink as she spotted Butter at the end of her bed. She loved her lazy orange cat to pieces, but the colors that emitted from her hands whenever she saw or hugged him were blinding.

The colors were all too much for her these days. Sometimes she was so happy that the brightness of all the yellows would give her a headache, other days she was too calm and the blue would drive her up a wall. Frankly, Haru was sick of seeing these colors day in and day out. Sick and tired of the same shit every day.

Haru was really trying not to be bitter about it all. She had people who loved her for who she was now, what more could she ask for? But love couldn’t take away the constant emptiness she felt at the pit of her stomach.

Haru decided to take a seat at the back of her English class as usual, far away from human interaction. Unlike with Butter, where she would gladly suffer through her blinding colors; Haru did not feel that humans were worth the effort. If they weren’t her muse for her photos, she preferred the least amount of human interaction as possible.

Also, she hated these classes and it definitely showed on her face. Resting bitch face usually kept them away, so it all usually worked out in her favor.

As if on cue, the color around Haru's hands swirl into a hue of amber. Amber for her meant calm, but unsettled or nervous. And indeed, she was slowly becoming more and more unsettled as she watched the class room fill up with people she didn’t know.

Suddenly, a tall model like guy sat right next to her and oh god does she want to move, but Haru doesn't want to be rude and just get up and change seats right in front of him. She stared straight at her hands as the amber glowed more vivid now, going past her wrists. It wouldn't be that much of a problem if he hadn't brought his little posse of friends along.

Haru watched as model guy and the rest of his friends joked around, but quickly noticed something off about one of them.

She squinted and rubbed her eyes with her palms once, and then twice, because what she was seeing couldn't be possible.

Model guys friend had his hands supporting himself as he leaned back against the table, his hands emitting a mist of gold. Haru had never seen such a bright, almost glittery gold in her whole life. Hell, she had never been able to see anyone else’s colors except her own, so what the fuck was happening right now? Was she truly crazy and hallucinating it all?!

"His hands are radiating gold, and I can fucking see it. I have got to be going insane," Haru mumbled to herself, a hand against her mouth to hide her blatant astonishment at the sight happening before her.

Haru decided to get herself together and stop staring so openly at glittery gold guy. She decided to put her head down on her arms and mind her own business until English class started, because thinking of the latter would just drive her more insane at this point.

"Hyungwon can get a modeling contract so easily, but can't even talk to any of the girls he models with other than 'Hi, let's work hard today' or my absolute favorite, 'Thank you for your hard work.’ Our Hyungwonnie really is hopeless."

What a way to roast a guy so openly, Haru thought as she tried to keep herself from eavesdropping.

"Hey! Leave him alone Minhyuk. At the very least he can speak respectfully to them, that’s something."

"Shut up Wonho. Like you're one to talk, you’re the ladies man of the group. You should give Hyungwon some tips."

They started to laugh and Haru turned her head to the side from all the noise, instantly locking eyes with glittery gold guy as he was still laughing. He was actually quite attractive, she thought in retrospect.

As their staring contest continued, one of glittery gold guys friends abruptly interrupted.

"Hey Wonho," the guy said, waving his hand annoyingly fast in front of Won...ho was it? "Earth to WONHO!" His friend continued as he smacked the table, effectively bringing Wonho back to reality. "What were you staring at?" The persistent one asked as they all began to turn their heads, signaling for Haru to quickly turn away in the other direction.

"N-Nothing. I gotta go to my class though, I'll talk to you guys later," Wonho said as he noisily got up from his seat on the table.

When Haru opened her eyes again, the color around her hands were pitch black.

How did she go from wanting her own colors to disappear, to seeing someone else’s? It’s too cruel to be true. In fact, she was convinced it wasn’t. It was her mind playing tricks on her, a fluke. That’s what she was going to believe.

The only thing she was certain of was that this school year was off to a damn strange start.

If you would like to read more chapters, I have them all posted here!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10743249/chapters/23814861

#chapter one #Ephemeral Iridescence #flordemens #fic #bangtan #monsta x #monstax #wonhoxoc #bts #synesthesia #college au #punk au #wonho #shin hoseok #monsta x wonho

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bxebxee · 7 years

Text

Have you eaten yet? (version: jimin)

(bts x food kinks. here we go.)

6) Jimin consciously ignores seduction attempt number one-sixty-three when he comes home to see you lounging on the sofa with nothing but his t-shirt on. His jaw ticks from holding back because this is the third time this week. He’d have to talk to his roommate-slash-best-friend Taehyung soon. Younger sister or not, Jimin was convinced you were the devil incarnate. Besides some physical traits, you were nothing like your brother, all cunning and manipulation where he was honesty and love.

You were too much like Jimin for him to truly drop his guard around you.

“Put on pants,” he says as a greeting.

You stand up and lift up your shirt higher than necessary to show him that yes, you were in fact wearing pants.

“Taehyung’s not home,” Jimin sighs, walking past you into the kitchen. You follow him, which doesn’t surprise him. “But you knew that...”

“I only came over for the netflix,” you lie with a charming smile.

“You can watch netflix at your own home.”

“Yeah but if I did I wouldn’t get to wish you a happy birthday...”

Jimin gets distracted by your simple statement, completely forgetting that he was nearly dying of thirst prior to stepping foot into his shared apartment.

“My birthday isn’t until next week.”

“And I won’t be here to celebrate it with you.” You walk up closer to him and take his hand. “I made you a cake and all.”

Jimin sighs because he always, always loses to you in the end anyway. Last week it was helping you in the shower; the week before that was a neck cramp; the week before, a sprain. All roads led to his dick inside you somehow.

“What kind?” he asks wearily.

“Strawberry shortcake. With extra whipped cream!” you answer him excitedly, knowing surrender when you saw it. You rush towards the refrigerator to pull out the cake. This was actually cake number seven because you were not going to present a flop cake to the object of your long-time lust.

Jimin gives up and helps you find utensils.

“I’m on a diet,” you tell him when he pulls out two forks, and Jimin has to bite his entire tongue not to tell you that you don’t need it.

He cuts himself a slice under your watchful, gleeful eyes.

“Did you spike this?” he asks unnecessarily; he knows you’d never do anything to harm him.

You nod. “With love.”

“Oh fuck off,” he whispers under his breath and takes a bite. It’s regrettably wonderful, just the perfect amount of sugar, cream, and tartness. If it sucked he could have at least pretended he hated it and hated you, but he likes this...way too much - a fitting

“Good?” you ask, batting your eyes and fishing for compliments.

Jimin swallows. “It’s not bad.” You’re too close to him, and he shovels in another bite. “Too much sugar.”

You smirk, completely onto his game. “Really? Too much? How much?” You smile as he shrugs, avoiding your eyes. “Give me a bite so I can judge for myself.”

“You just said you were on a diet,” Jimin frowns.

You roll your eyes. “A bite won’t kill the diet. Now, ah-” You open your mouth and close your eyes, waiting for him to feed you a bite of the cake.

It’s not erotic, Jimin tells himself, It’s not fucking erotic. Oh, who the fuck was he kidding? It was absolutely erotic, and you were doing this on purpose to make it as erotic as possible. Gritting his teeth, he takes your hand and places the fork on your open palm.

“You’re no fun,” you sigh, stabbing the fork into the cake but changing your mind last minute. You place the fork down and instead use your fingers to dip into the icing. In an act of childish revenge, if it could even be called that, you smear the icing on Jimin’s cheek as he stares at you with disbelief.

“Are you serious?”

“At least I didn’t cake you...”

He doesn’t look amused in the slightest. “Clean this up right now.”

And really, it’s his fault for even giving you an opening because he’s completely flabbergasted that you would do something so kindergarten. He’s only half-shocked when he feels your tongue lick up the icing instead of a damp paper towel.

“Christ,” he whispers, not even batting an eyelid when he feels your body press on his arm as you reach over to lick away the residue. “I set myself up for that one.”

“You really did,” you giggle. Your smile fades as he walks over to get a paper towel to wipe the rest off himself. “Why do you do that?” you ask.

“Well having cake on my face will break me out,” he explains slowly, as if talking to a five year old.

“No, Jimin. Why do you push me away?”

It’s his opportunity, his choice to tell you right here and now that he doesn’t like you, that he has no feelings for you whatsoever. This is his chance to lie to you, and judging from your guarded expression, Jimin has a sneaking suspicion that you’ll believe whatever he says right now and run with it.

He hesitates, and you fill the silence with more questions. “Is it because you dislike me? Or because you like me too much?”

“What do you think?” he throws back, tired of the back and forth. “We’ve been fucking around for the past month. What do you think is the answer? Have you known me to be like this around people I hate?”

“So if you like me so much, then why go through this exercise of acting annoyed anytime you see me?” you smirk, satisfied that you finally have him in the mere vicinity of where you wanted him to be.

“This thing... it could end badly,” Jimin confesses, knowing you know it too.

“It can,” you agree, “It absolutely can. But everything is already going to shit.” Things have been tense, and everyone had noticed the awkwardness between you and Jimin. “How much more can this hurt?”

You are way too convincing for your own good with your wide-eyed look of innocent curiosity. The image wars with his knowledge that you are anything but innocent, at least when it came to him. Give in, his entire body screams at him to just give in and let himself have something for once.

Jimin eyes the cake when he can’t look at you directly anymore. His slice is neat save for the dimple along the edge where you dipped your finger. As an act of capitulation, he dips his finger on another spot, collecting a hefty chunk of icing and smearing it on your nose.

“Do me a favor?” he sighs, smiling exasperatedly at how excited you look get icing on your nose, “Don’t hurt me. And don’t hurt yourself.”

You purse your lips to keep from smiling like an idiot, your heart leaping when you see that he looks like he’s on his way to accepting the high probability that the two of you were sort of perfect for each other. “Noted,” you answer, “No promises, but noted.”

“That’s all I ask.”

Jimin reaches for the paper towel he used to clean his face so that he could wipe off the icing on his finger, but you beat him to the punch, swiping it from his grips to clean your nose instead. You smile a big smile, one he doesn’t quite trust yet. In a deliberate, slow motion, you grab his hand and make a show of leading his sticky finger into your mouth.

He lets you suck on his index finger like it’s candy. Icing doesn’t take much to lick off, but you suck for longer than necessary because the point is not about icing at all.

“I can’t really tell,” you inform him after letting go of his finger.

“Hmm?”

You smile at how dazed he looks. “The cake. I can’t tell if it really is too sweet just from that.”

“Oh,” Jimin says, finally catching on to what you are getting at, “Oh, that. I wasn’t serious. It’s fine just the way it is.”

You narrow your eyes. “No, I really want you to let me know if it’s bad...”

It’s Jimin’s turn to roll his eyes, and he dips his finger into the icing again.

“You better not-”

“Relax, I’m not about to smear this on you again. Just open your mouth.”

You do, and he sticks his icing-covered finger into your mouth. This time, there’s a little bit of cake stuck to the cream. Your eyes meet his when you let the sugar and cream dissolve in your mouth. Every swallow makes him blink just a tad bit faster, a sight that amuses and excites you.

The coup de grace is when you close you eyes and moan.

“Stop,” he orders raspily.

You let his fingers exit your mouth, but a trail of saliva still sticks per your design.

“I still can’t tell,” you lie with a smile.

“You’re ridiculous.” But he feeds you again, letting you lave his fingers with your tongue. “This isn’t that sexy, by the way.”

“You’re lying.” (He is.) “And I hope you know,” you tell him in between sucks, “I’d much rather suck this off your cock.”

“Don’t play,” Jimin warns, “Because I’ll hold you to it.”

Your gaze drifts down to his pants. “I’m not playing. At all.” You reach for the button and zipper of his jeans. “I’d suck your cock with or without icing, but it’s your birthday next week. It’ll be festive.”

#drafts

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bangtan-spells · 7 years

Text

Yoongi Scenario: Tainted Love - Part 10.

Request: Could you make one with Yoongi being some sort of demon/vampire boss that every one is super scared of but then there is Y/N, Yoongi is in love with her and everyone is always super impressed how Yoongi always surrenders and softens when something is about her? He’s super protective and wants to please her in his own way, thank you for doing this i love you

Summary: Demons are merciless, demons are ruthless, demons can’t hold nothing dear to them. Yoongi is the leader, the king of the demon world. He is feared as he is respected, no one expected him to bring a human girl as his lover, you. You fell in love and now you are in the midst of adjusting to the demon world, its custums, and its dangers. But everything is worth it if is for him, the demon king that lives between shadows and that would turn hell apart to protect you.

Demon AU. Featuring all BTS.

Genre: Romance / Drama.

Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 11 / 12 / 13

A strong hold kept you from moving too much, his arms pressed you to his body and at the same time formed a barrier around you. Guarded and protected, Yoongi made sure you couldn’t be touched by anything even in his sleep. It made you smile, after sleeping apart from him and restricting yourself to touch him having him like this was paradise.

You placed a kiss on the hand that rested over your chest, then you gave him another and another on every inch of skin you were able to.

-If you want me to wake up then might as well say it-

You smiled and turned around to find Yoongi still with his eyes closed but with a tiny smile. -You deceiving thing, you are awake-

His mouth went wider to a grin. -I never said I was asleep-

-Alright then- you pecked his lips and Yoongi pulled you closer. -I don’t want to stand up but but I kind of need to pee urgently- Yoongi shook his head and kissed you a bit harder. -Unless you have a dark mysterious power that could fix that-

Yoongi groaned tightening his hold on you for a few seconds before he loosed his grip and let himself fall on his back on the mattress. -Be quick about it-

-Such a bossy thing is what we have here-

You saw the string of shadow that was coming your way to pull you straight towards him again and squealed, jumping out of the bed. -Don’t cheat-

-I’m not cheating- he answered with a smirk on his lips and then his eyes focused on you, on every inch of your body.

You had jumped so fast you had forgotten you were completely naked. You were still a bit self conscious about it with Yoongi, of course one thing was being in the heat of the moment, or the slow times you would share tangled in the sheets, but like this, just standing completely bare with those dark eyes staring at you, it made you shudder, it made your heart go faster and it made you feel like you didn’t want to be apart from him longer than strictly necessary.

You felt shy, but you also felt the need to keep the interest of those eyes on you, to have him lingering, craving, if you could achieve that on that man, then the pleasure he would made you feel later would multiply. If you could apply power over him now, whichever was, then it would make you surrender in his arms at plenitude.

You didn’t take a blanket or anything to cover and instead you walked as you were, slower than needed, deliberately swaying your hips a bit more, arching your back to give your body a more sensual demeanor while walking, displaying certain things that made Yoongi sit up to be able to watch better. Unnecessarily you even went to look for something in your bag to finally head to the bathroom, not missing the smoldering burning look Yoongi was giving you as you turned slightly to him and discovered him staring hard at you.

Finally you went to the bathroom and closed the door, your body trembling from the excitement of what you had just done.

-Y/N, if you take a second longer than necessary I’m taking the damn door down-

You laughed as you mentally clapped to yourself in delight, mission accomplished.

It wasn’t until your body was truly craving it that you told Yoongi to summon the servants to bring you breakfast. You had spent all morning focused on each other, but now that you had gone down of the high Yoongi provoked in you, you remembered you had to eat.

The two servants that came set everything on the feet of the bed in big trays under Yoongi’s attentive gaze, you noticed him more alert towards the servants, he wouldn’t usually look at them like that, like they could try something. You waited until they were gone and then you pocked his side. -Hey, what was that about?-

-What?-

-That, you staring at the servants like that, they were nervous-

Yoongi scoffed, getting the trays to set them closer to you. -Y/N, it pains me to explain this, but you’re naked, in my bed-

-So?- you said taking a toast to put some jam on it. -It’s not like I’m showing anything- you had covered almost entirely with the blankets when they came. -Or like they were staring-

Yoongi shook his head, placing your hair behind your ear so he could see you better, then taking a strawberry and pulling it to your lips. You bit it and smiled and he pushed the finger into your mouth suggestively -Behave, I’m eating, and you are evading the question-

-Right now I don’t want anyone even glancing at you- he answered as he took a piece of already sliced apple, gave it a bite and then placed the other half on your lips for you to eat. -Understand? Right now I can’t-

You hummed, feeling your cheeks getting hot, this had happened before, after the first time you had sex, his overprotectiveness had sky rocketed and thus you guessed he had put on the mark, he had behaved similarly at that time.

-Why now?-

-Because I can’t- he answered again groaning softly. -I would hurt them if they did-

-You don’t need to- you turned your head and kissed him lightly. You figured this was a demon thing, something about them being so dominant and possessive, specially Yoongi given his status. It provoked an odd feeling, having someone feeling that way towards you, you couldn’t describe it well, it was a bit scary and thrilling at the same time.

-But I would, not only them, but anyone, so today I thought about doing something just us-

At that announcement you perked up, you could count with your fingers the dates you had had together, like the official dates at least. -Really? Where? What are we doing?-

Yoongi smirked, this time devouring a strawberry by himself. Of course he wouldn’t tell, the asshole. You whined but smiled widely, eating your breakfast faster.

You didn’t know what to wear for this “date”, well, he hadn’t said it was a date, but then Yoongi wouldn't ever call it as such.

You were excited, so you asked him to go out of the room while you dolled up, he had groaned and argued, later trying to talk to you into him staying but you opposed. The perfect thing would be you going to your house where you could prep yourself better, but you knew that would be impossible since Yoongi wouldn’t ever be happy with that considering his current state. So you made him go out to bath and dress elsewhere and then you started to get ready.

You gave yourself a nice bath, moisturized everything and then assessed the few options of clothes you had in hand. Pants or a dress, that was the biggest decision at the moment, a dress would be ideal, but you didn’t know where you were going or doing. You ended up putting on the pants, black tight pants that went with everything and could be fancy if needed, you went for an all black look, topping the pants with a long sleeve blouse that had a trendy cut that left your collarbones and shoulders bare, skin of your cleavage showing to make it more sexy and flirty.

You chose a soft glam style that went really nice with your overall look, you arranged your hair down, not completely curled but not completely straight either it made you look more relaxed. All you had left to do was to put on some boots but by now you knew Yoongi’s patience would be running thin. You laughed at that as you shrugged, that couldn’t bother you at the moment and Yoongi would get over it.

The door was knocked and you inhaled preparing yourself for Yoongi, wishing he liked your look, but after you gave your permission to come in, you found it wasn’t Yoongi and of course, it couldn’t be since Yoongi didn’t knock his own door. Instead you saw Jungkook and Taehyung standing there.

-Y/N, you are here-

They greeted you and you nodded smiling a bit confused -Yes, I kind of have been here all this time?-

-It’s just that… we didn’t know you were precisely here- Jungkook explained clearing his throat. -Where is Yoongi?-

Taehyung tried to go in further into the room but Jungkook stopped him. -I don’t know- you answered. -He went out for a couple of hours, why? something happened?- you were starting to get a bit alarmed.

-It smells like sex in here- Taehyung remarked making Jungkook smack him but stare oddly at you. Why were they staring at you like that?

-Yoongi is not here- you answered ignoring the comment and trying to ignore the stares. -So… is something happening or…?-

-No- Jungkook answered noticing you were uncomfortable. -We are leaving-

-Leave then- Taehyung answered and this time Jungkook took him by the straps that held his swords to his back to drag him out of the room.

-But wait- you said going out of the room yourself making both of them turn. -What is happening? I mean…-

-Nothing is happening- Jungkook answered clearing his throat again.

-It’s best for you if you keep this as a little dirty secret between us- Taehyung got out his tongue for a second licking his lower lip to then smirk.

-What secret?- you asked despite yourself, but you didn’t understand, that they had seen you? This was probably because of Yoongi and what he had said earlier.

-Or maybe we can turn it around- Taehyung mused deviously. -I could say it was only Jungkook coming here, and that he stayed in that room with you, imagine that-

Jungkook scoffed. -And Yoongi would buy that, sure- Taehyung laughed and Jungkook did so as well. -Y/N get into the room-

-What is wrong with you two seriously? Yoongi isn’t here- you crossed your arms and were going to go back to your room but then you heard that voice, Yoongi coming in your direction.

-But I am-

The three of you were a bit more than startled by his sudden appearance, you stared at Yoongi who came walking at his usual pace towards you and then at Taehyung and Jungkook who were both looking at Yoongi cautiously, stepping back from you slowly.

The two shadows were on their throats before you knew it, pinning them against the wall before Yoongi could go close to to them to use his hands as replacement of his shadows . -What the fuck were you doing?-

You noticed how neither of them were defending themselves, Taehyung smirked but Jungkook nodded trying to ease the pressure to talk. -Hoseok told us to look for you but we didn’t know you weren’t here, that’s everything-

Yoongi squeezed harder and when Taehyung tried to push him back he snarled.

-Yoongi- you called him. -It’s ok-

He shook his head and glared at Jungkook and Taehyung before letting them go. -You two are mad, what fuck is wrong with you coming here?-

-We didn’t know- Jungkook repeated. -We are leaving, alright?-

Yoongi shook his head again, like trying to get something away from him without looking at them and neither at you, but he nodded making a gesture with his hand for them to leave. -Alright, go now-

-But we could stay if Y/N wants-

You opened your mouth baffled but Taehyung was already walking away before Yoongi threw something, a knife at him that landed in his shoulder making him yelp.

-You are going to get us killed- Jungkook groaned before touching Taehyung and disappearing.

You were astounded and really you didn’t know what to say, he had indeed warned you about it but it was just so impressive.

-That was…-

-That was nothing- Yoongi exhaled taking your hand going inside the room where he hugged you and started to kiss and nuzzle on your exposed skin. -Demons kill each other for this-

-Seriously?- your voice was a bit off after his contact.

Yoongi nodded taking his head away from your neck. -I won’t kill them, idiots and all, but they are strong and loyal to me, that particular combination is rather hard to find and keep, so I’d prefer to keep them alive, for now-

-For now?- you laughed. -You won’t kill them-

-If you tell them I’m not here like that and they come here Y/N…- Yoongi’s voice went down a bit making you swallow. -Don’t do that again, you will understand it better later-

-So females have this… urges too?-

-Yes, it all depends on the personality-

You laughed giving him a kiss. -So you are naturally grumpy then-

Yoongi let out a chuckle as he was amused with you which made you smile more. -You look ravishing, are you ready?-

You nodded and then he took your hand and with a snap both of you were gone.

This time the apparition didn’t make you sick, you had to wait a few seconds to regain your balance but you were ok, everything was dark so you couldn’t really see where you were but a few seconds later torches were ignited around you. You looked at Yoongi for a moment seeing him staring around so you did the same, opening your mouth to say something but you had no words.

-Where are we?- you asked staring at your surroundings, you were in some sort of cavern, but it wasn’t like the ones you had seen on TV, worn and completely modernized by men, this one although it had some sort of path, you could notice it was raw, the nature flowing from the walls making you stare in awe. -What is this?-

-We are in some place below Thailand-

You snorted and snapped your head to Yoongi who chuckled at your reaction. -What?-

He nodded, extending his hands for you to marvel at the cavern, how the walls shone with crystals in some parts, how the light brought strange colors on the stone walls, you looked up and smiled although the sight was rather frightening, as the crystals and stone formations of minerals hung from above like huge and sharp stakes, beautiful and possibly deadly.

-This is amazing Yoongi, I’ve never… I have never seen something like this-

Yoongi smirked, taking your hand and starting to walk, you had to go with a careful step as the path was uneven but he helped you keep yourself on your feet as you marveled at everything, you kind of wished you had a camera with you, none of your until now improvised vacations with your friends had included a destination as exotic and wonderful as this one.

The cave opened into an dome shape that echoed your giggles when you were to say something, that was the only thing that came out. The cave was full with crystals and on the walls you could see the colors that brought the light weren’t paintings or just stone, but gems, raw gems still incrusted on them but that reflected light just the same.

-Oh god Yoongi, this is…-

-Those things hanging are called stalactites and the ones you see the grow from the floor and stalagmites-

You slapped his shoulder making him sneaker. -I wasn’t talking about that, I was… this is a mine of gemstones, this is…-

-This cavern would probably hold rich an entire country- he stated making you inhale deeply.

-Who brought the torches, you?- you asked even if it was more than obvious, Yoongi nodded pulling the hem of his jacket with a expression that danced between proud and cocky. -Babe this is amazing-

-Wait until you see the main vault- he said smirking again taking your hand to guide you through another path, this one a bit narrower, but you could walk beside him comfortably although very close together, it was better that way since it decreased your chances of falling. You were grateful for the boots, this cavern with heels would have been a mess.

The main vault was smaller than the dome like stance you had seen some minutes ago, but if the other shone with a mysterious gleam from the hidden gemstones on he wall, this one was bright with pure regal glow, the gemstones in the walls were more prominent and you could admire them better. You saw blue, green, red, yellow and even some uncolored ones that shone iridescent with the shine of the other gems.

-This is beautiful- you breathed looking up at him for a second before stepping forward to admire the gems from up close, you hadn’t seen such thing from up close never before and it was fascinating, if they looked beautiful like this you couldn’t even imagine how they would look like when the gems were polished. -How?-

-I found this long ago- he said while you inspected each color, you turned so he would know you were hearing but you couldn’t stop looking at the beauty in front of you. -My mother liked gems, specially rubies, as you know its our domain’s gemstone- he stated and this time you did look at him, it wasn’t often that Yoongi spoke about his family even less about his mother. -She liked them well, so when I was young my brother and I would compete to see who could find her the most beautiful gems, the most extravagant caverns, she really fancied this one-

You got away from the beautiful stones to go closer to him, you felt honored to be there, in a place that aside how beautiful and magnificent, was part of his family’s history, something that could bring him pain but he had chosen to show you, and that meant you truly meant something to him.

-She must have loved it, it is truly beautiful- you remembered what Hoseok had told you how she had died, how Yoongi had gone to save her and he had only encountered with dead bodies after that. It made you think carefully of your next words. -It’s a shame she isn’t here anymore… do you miss her?-

Yoongi stayed quiet for a moment before answering. -It happened a long time ago-

You nodded, not wanting to push it although you were almost sure of his answer. -I’m sorry-

He disregarded that with a shake of his head. -It’s fine-

You encircled his neck with your arms and hugged him, maybe demons didn’t seek comfort like humans, but you weren’t able to stop yourself from wanting to give it to him anyway.

-I’m sorry- he said suddenly against your neck. -Don’t talk and just listen- you were just about to ask what was he going about before he said that. -When you were shot, I thought… I thought that what were the chances that Jin was there at that moment, if he hadn’t been there then you’d have died, I told you, back there at your apartment, that I’d kill anything that came your way, and I didn’t-

-Yoongi…-

-Stop, just listen for a moment- he sighed like he was suddenly tired. -Words, our word for us demon is really important, I won’t fail you again-

You could say a million things to go against what he had said, it hadn’t been his fault even if he thought of it like that, it had happened because that man was crazy, because you were at the wrong place, you could say so many things but you knew that wouldn’t matter to Yoongi at the moment.

Instead of saying anything you kissed him, slowly moving your lips on top of his, both of you opening your mouths just enough for your tongues to deepen the kiss but still keeping it grounded, you loved him, and you wanted him to know it, but at the moment you knew words wouldn’t be enough.

-Let’s get you out of here, the air in here isn’t good for you, so you can only stay so long-

-But we could come again someday?-

Yoongi nodded and you kept yourself embracing his body as he made both of you disappear.

You came back to your apartment next sunday, you had to start what would be your las semester in university so you had to go back to your routine.

Now you were a bit more open with Yoongi’s measures for security, although still demanding your privacy and control, you had told him it was ok to send whoever he wanted more often, but of course you preferred it to be him.

Monday wasn’t really a productive day as professors only gave some introductions but not full classes so it was a perfect day to catch up with Anji and Yuri, you went to lunch with them and after you went to Yuri’s house to lounge around and just enjoy some girl time, you realized you needed it, fun times with your girl friends provided a different kind of relaxation than you couldn’t get elsewhere.

At the end you went home pretty late, you had to get up early but it would be worth it. You supposed someone was going to be at your house when you arrived and for a moment you could have sworn you saw a dash of Jimin’s honey hair around campus, it wouldn’t be strange, but you decided to leave that inquiry for later and now you only wanted to sleep.

Your place was in darkness when you arrived but when you opened the door what you found wasn’t what you expected. On the inside your apartment had been completely wrecked. You screamed.

430 notes · View notes

purplesurveys · 3 years

Text

1203

survey by vyvyan86

Section 1 – Who were you?

Think back as far as you can. What is the first memory you have? This gets asked a loooooot in surveys and I’ve answered this many times, but my earliest memory is of me waking up in a Winnie the Pooh tent with my sister when I was 3 and she was 1. Our parents took us ‘camping’ which was really nothing more than a tent set up in their room.

What is something you remember enjoying very much as a small child? Reading took up pretty much my entire personality. I was always found with one no matter where I was and it was all I received as presents since my relatives and my parents’ friends knew how much I liked to read at a young age. Shame that hobby’s gone now.

How old were you, when you made your very first friend? I was in kindergarten and I was 4.

Are you still friends with this person today? No, she transferred schools in the first grade and I’ve never kept contact with her since.

Was there a story somebody read or told you that has stuck with you? I loved the book Tikki Tikki Tembo and reread it so many times. The main character’s long name is definitely filed in my head under, ‘things I unnecessarily memorize by heart.’

What is something you get an immense feeling of nostalgia from? Shows or movies from my childhood, like Lizzie McGuire and High School Musical.

As a child, were you a sore loser or a sore winner? I was a sore loser and have still retained elements of it to this day.

Did you go through the "naked phase"? No, I was really shy to be seen naked and even when I was still at that age where someone else had to give me a bath, I already felt conscious and would cover myself up.

Which television shows do you watch the most as a child? When I was a KID kid, I liked watching Hi-5, LazyTown, Art Attack, and Spongebob. As I got older (but still a kid), I took a liking to watching shows meant for older audiences even though I couldn’t always understand the jokes or plots, like Drake and Josh, Zoey 101, Suite Life, etc.

Did you play with siblings, neighbourhood kids or by yourself? I was able to experience all of these.

Is there something you really miss from your childhood today? It’s really just the smaller list of things to worry about. And smaller problems, overall.

Section 2 – Likes and interests

Would you ever like to try competitive pinball playing? No. I don’t even enjoy playing pinball casually, so I don’t see myself taking it up on a competitive level.

Do you knit, crochet or cross stitch? I’ve dabbled in embroidery, if that counts. It’s nice that there are kits available online that already have templates that I’ll just have to trace, since I’m not very creative myself and am not capable of making any artwork from scratch.

Have you ever, or would you like to attend a gaming or comic convention? Yessssss. I’m not a big fan of either, but those conventions have always looked like a ton of fun and I would most likely go so I can view exhibits and look at everyone’s cool cosplays.

What's your opinion on online multiplayer games? I don’t have an opinion on them; I don’t play them, but I don’t have a reason to actively dislike them, either.

Do you like to go cycling? If so, where? I am interested in cycling but I don’t even know how to ride a bike. I know of some friends who’ve been able to bike all the way to Tagaytay and it makes me sooooooooo envious.

Have you ever tried woodturning? If not, would you like to? Maybe not that particular method but I do find wood carving relaxing and would like to try it out sometime.

Do you enjoy drawing? If so, what do you usually draw? I can’t draw at all.

Have you ever attended a painting class? If so, what did you create? I haven’t attended a class but I’ve dabbled in painting, in general – again, mostly through painting kits that already have templates and that already supply me with the colors I need. I’ve never finished any of the images though.

How about a creative writing course? If so, did you get any feedback? I hate creative writing.

What is your favourite form of exercise? The rare times I do work out, I go for HIIT or Tabata exercises.

Section 3 – People

Who is the most important person in your life (besides yourself)? There isn’t one at the moment; I’m really just focusing on myself.

Do people generally approach you easily? I would say it’s 50/50. I’ve heard some people say they find me aloof, while others have no problem coming to me.

Do you get along with people well? If not, what's the problem? Yeah, I would say so. I don’t have bad blood with anyone and if I do it’s always because they’ve already something I didn’t like and I’ve made it a point to ignore them on purpose.

Do you enjoy being in crowds or do you prefer your own company? I can do with both. I treasure my alone time, but I also like being with people and would start to feel sad if I feel like I’ve been isolated for too long.

Which one of your friends have you known the longest? Angela.

Do you find it easy to make friends now? If not, what makes it difficult? I mean I’m in a very active fandom again, for one lol. I think that’s the biggest factor. It’s been SO much easier to find people who are into the same group and strike up conversations with them.

What is something about people that annoys you? I know too many people who always go the extra mile to bash on things that people are into, even though those interests never hurt anyone. It sucks. If you don’t like it just don’t talk about it? Don’t rain on people’s parade.

What is something about people that you really like? When they come together during crises.

If you live alone, what would be your criteria for a roommate? I’d appreciate someone who wasn’t too talkative. Obviously it’s ok to talk, but they don’t have to have a conversation with me every time we’re together. I feel as if I’d quickly grow annoyed with someone who was clingy or too extroverted. Some nice bonuses: If we have the same interests and/or if they know how to cook – I can balance the latter out by doing all the other needed chores.

How about criteria for a spouse, if you're single? I feel like I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel here due to my horrible previous experience...but I’d really just appreciate someone who I know is committed to the relationship and will be willing to go through the ups and downs with me.

In general, what's your attitude towards people? I like to believe everyone is kind unless they give me a reason they aren’t.

Section 4 – Habits

What is something you do every day without fail? Vape.

What is your typical breakfast? Coffee or water, whichever I have time to prepare.

Which article of clothing do you like to wear the most? I stay at home these days because of the c-word, but I mostly wear tank tops these days because the weather is unbelievable.

Is there a TV show you watch habitually? It used to be Friends but I haven’t gone back to it in a while – I haven’t even watched the reunion special yet :/ It also used to be 2 Days 1 Night but I’ve since placed that at the backseat when I started getting into BTS last month.

Where do you usually spend most of your day? In my room since that’s where I work.

Is there a product that you do not want to run out of? Vape pods and 3-in-1 coffee sachets.

What is your preferred mode of transport? My own car.

Do you usually have something playing in the background when you're home? These days I put on a work-themed playlist to keep me company during my shift but if I have to do something that’s thinking-intensive, like writing a press release, I have to switch it off.

Where do you usually get your groceries? I don’t really purchase groceries just yet. My parents switch up the stores they buy from every time.

How often do you go to your local park? We don’t have one.

Which of your hobbies do you indulge in most often? BTS...hahahahaha

Section 5 – Favourites and dislikes

What is your favourite fruit? I don’t like fruits.

How about your favourite berry? I also don’t like berries.

Which food do you highly dislike? Fruits.

What is your favourite song, and why? I don’t have an all-time favorite song but at the moment I would say it’s Butterfly by BTS.

What is a movie you cannot stand? Me Before You was money well-wasted.

Which trait in a person do you find most appealing? Not really a trait but I’m always fascinated to know about people’s hobbies, since I believe it’s able to tell me a lot about them.

Which trait puts you instantly off? How they think about certain socio-political issues.

Who is an actor/actress who you dislike so much you can't watch them? Amber Heard.

What colour are your favourite shoes? All my favorite shoes are white.

What is a smell that disgusts you to no end? Sinigang or rotten eggs and rice.

Which door handle/door knob do you like the most in your home? ??? This is random haha? Door knobs are pretty nasty to begin with, so I’ll just take a pass for this one.

Section 6 – Culture

What is something very typical to the culture of your home country? We’re very hospitable and would do anything to make you feel at home, whether it’s feeding you until feel like throwing up or giving you Tupperware upon Tupperware of leftovers that you can take home so that you won’t have to cook for a few days.

Do you enjoy art? If so, which form of art is the most enjoyable? Yes, I like looking at art and going to museums and exhibits is one of my favorite things to do. As for forms of art, I like paintings the most.

What is something about another country's culture you don't understand? I guess the one where tipping is viewed as an insult.

Do you ever attend the theater? If so, which play did you see last? No, not really my type of art.

How about the opera or the ballet? I love watching ballet shows, but I would quickly grow bored with an opera.

Which dance troupe do you enjoy, if any? None.

Do you attend concerts or gigs? If so, which band did you see last? Only if I really really REALLY like the artist/group. I last saw Paramore.

Are you interested in foreign food? I love them and would be open to trying absolutely anything.

If so, which country's cuisine do you enjoy the most? It’s always a three-way tie among Indian, Thai, and Malaysian.

Do you enjoy stand-up comedy? If so, who is your favourite comic? No.

Do you contribute to culture in some way? If so, how? Not as much as I would want to. I do share some culture-related things on social media to raise awareness for them, especially if I find them fascinating; but I don’t exactly craft anything myself.

Section 7 – Charity

Do you volunteer your time to anything charitable? If so, what? There’s a local organization for stray/injured dogs and cats that I donate to. I’d love to put in some volunteer hours as well but I just don’t have the time. :(

Do you donate money to any charities? If so, which ones? ^ Oh, I guess I should’ve answered that here haha.

If you have pets, are any of them rescues from shelters? Arlee was.

Do you donate your old clothes, linen etc. to charitable organizations? I think my mom sometimes does that with our old clothes but she usually gives them away as hand-me-downs to other relatives.

If someone you know is in need, is it in your nature to offer help? Yes.

Have you ever donated Christmas presents to children of poor families? Not on my own volition but we did this in school before.

Have you ever had to rely on other people's charity? Not that I remember.

How do you feel about donating to charities endorsed by celebrities? I don’t mind it but I think it ultimately depends on the charity that they endorse. For instance I’ve read a lot of problematic sentiments about Susan G. Komen so I always disapprove whenever WWE does their yearly breast cancer awareness thing with them.

Is there a charity you absolutely never ever will not trust? PETA as an annoying one, for one.

Have you ever donated to a cause that had a person going door to door? I don’t think so.

In general, what is your opinion on charity? I support it wholeheartedly if the cause is genuine and not just a money-making scheme or if they are hyper-reactive about certain things.

Section 8 – Entertainment

Which was the very first video game you remember playing? That’s a good question that I don’t actually remember the answer to. Maybe Duck Hunt? I have very vague memories of waking up at my grandma’s place in Tondo and using the Nintendo gun thingy.

Which was the very first film you remember watching? Stuart Little 2.

What is your go-to form of entertainment? These days, BTS content.

Do you have a large collection of DVDs/Blu-Rays? Hahahaha I haven’t bought a DVD in nearly a decade. We haven’t thrown any of our DVDs out so I guess in a sense we still have a collection, but we never pop them on anymore as my family and I usually consume our entertainment online now.

How about music albums? I also haven’t bought an album in the same period of time but I’m starting again because of BTS. I've placed orders for their first five albums/mini-albums and they’re supposed to arrive in the country by July or August, so I can’t wait for that.

Do you prefer to have your music on vinyls, tapes, CDs or digital? CDs or digital would do.

When and where do you like to entertain yourself usually? Either in my room or in the living room, where the big TV is.

Do you ever binge watch shows? If so, what are you binging now? I’ve started on Hwarang but it’s not super bingewatch-worthy, mostly because of how slow I find the pacing to be. Good show, though.

What kinds of books do you like to read, if any? Autobiographies/memoirs.

Is there a book series you're currently collecting? Nope.

Is entertainment something you prefer to enjoy alone or with someone else? It’s always better with somebody else, to be honest.

Section 9 – Internet

Do you always have access to the Internet, wherever you go? If not, why? If I have data on my phone, then yeah.

Which website do you frequent the most? Google Suite, if it counts.

Which search engine do you prefer and trust the most? Google.

What do you use the Internet the most for? Working, lol.

Do you judge people who have their phones out all the time? If so, why? No, I’m indifferent about it. I’m pretty attached to my phone too so I get it.

If your connection goes down, what do you do? Turn on my data and continue on with my surfing, albeit feel slightly agitated.

Is there something you wish you could do online that isn't possible yet? I actually feel like there’s always already a website or service for anything I need to do on the internet, which is super convenient. Just last week Kata shared with me a website that’s instantly able to turn any photo into a transparent PNG file, which was awesome to discover.

Do you remember the first time you used the Internet? When was it? Yeah, the first website I ever went to was Friendster in like 2007, at a neighbor’s house that doubled as a small internet cafe.

What was a website you used to frequent that doesn't exist anymore? Multiply.

Do/Did you ever have your own website? No.

Isn't it great how much knowledge and info we have at our fingertips? Sure, but honestly I’m more scared than amazed at how much info is out there, and how much we don’t know is actually out there.

Section 10 – And finally...

What is something you consider to be highly controversial? Bad takes on socio-political issues, like refusing to acknowledge someone’s preferred pronouns or continuing to use someone’s deadname.

What kinds of jokes do you like the best? Idk, it doesn’t take a lot to make me laugh.

Is there a person who makes you laugh effortlessly? These days it’s Jimin lol.

Which part of your body do you like the least? My teeth.

What's something random, out of context you remember from your past? I don’t really feel like racking through my head rn hahaha sorry.

Do you wear shoes indoors? Not in Asia you won’t.

What's the silliest thing you've worn on your body in public? A princess dress I had to wear around for like 10 minutes as ‘punishment’ at a school fair.

What's the most important thing in your life right now? My job and doing well at it.

What is the most distant point on the planet that you've been from home? South Korea. I haven’t gone too far yet.

Do you enjoy trivia games? If so, which one's your favourite? I love trivia games and I’d join pretty much any of them.

Are you more logical or emotional? Emotional before, but I believe it’s more logical now

#survey #surveys #anyone know where maria went :(#i hope she's ok!

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