#i feel like if this post gets attention someone is going to reblog and disagree so I'll just say it here

[lucyshypemaster]

I find it hilarious how shannon made sure to mention in every book that there's no sexism in the lost cities but if you really read the books properly and notice every detail, there are definitely hints of misogyny in their society

[hajim3]

You want requests? Hmmmm who (out of all characters you right for) likes a plump soft reader? Who looks at thicc ppl and just can't help themselves? And what's their first fantasy about chubby reader?

If you don't do chubby reader requests then plz ignore me. Thank you for your time ✌️🤗

𝚆𝚑𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎'𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚊 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚌 𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚎?

꒷꒦꒷‧˚.‧꒦꒷꒦ ꒷꒦‧˚.‧꒷꒦꒷‧˚꒦꒷꒦꒷‧˚.‧꒦꒷꒦ ꒷꒦‧˚.‧꒷꒷꒦꒷‧˚.‧꒦꒷

cw: gn!reader, mentions of titties but it can be ignored if it doesn’t apply, suggestive (I think??) I’m not good at warnings so lmk if I missed anything

a/n: HI GUYS!!! I’VE MISSED YOU!!! It’s been over a year! I know this is very short but this took me two days to write cuz I had to get my brain turning again. 😭 Also I had to stop myself from writing cuz I still had a bit more to say but imma save it for another time. I feel pretty good about this one so I hope you guys enjoy it as well.

word count: 478

꒷꒦꒷‧˚.‧꒦꒷꒦ ꒷꒦‧˚.‧꒷꒦꒷‧˚꒦꒷꒦꒷‧˚.‧꒦꒷꒦ ꒷꒦‧˚.‧꒷꒷꒦꒷‧˚.‧꒦꒷

⇾ Tbh I have a whole arsenal of characters that I think would die for a cute chubby person

⇾ But if i absolutely had to pick one person, I say Bokuto (oh and Osamu but imma save that for another time) and i will die on the hill that he would go through hell and back to just get a sprinkle of attention from a chubby person and if you disagree then you’re wrong 🤷🏽‍♀️

⇾ And if I’m not mistaken this is canon right???

⇾ My mans is going feral for some big thighs and titties bro

⇾ Bruh cant keep his hands off you man

⇾ Always expect your thighs to be squeezed, checks to be pinched, ass to be slapped, and tits to be caressed at any given moment

⇾ Cuddles are so nice with him especially in the winter

⇾ Cuddles can either be calm and relaxing or chaotic and loud (no in between)

⇾ But honestly he’s such an affectionate person in the first place so his favorite thing to do with you is cuddle because you’re both so warm and it just feels heavenly (I was always the person that someone would hug/touch to warm up because I’m naturally very warm so this resonates deep with me 😭)

⇾ He’s so proud to show you off in public

⇾ He’s the boyfriend that’ll let you wear whatever you want in public cuz he’s secure in the fact that you’re his and he’s yours so there’s no reason for him not to 🤷🏽‍♀️

⇾ In fact, he would jump at any opportunity to take pictures of you because he’s just so obsessed with your beauty he just can’t help it

⇾ Bro turns into a professional photographer when it comes to you

⇾ Like he’s getting all the angles and lighting to make sure it’s perfect

⇾ If someone was to open his social media they would think it’s ran by you from the amount of pictures and videos of you he has on there

⇾ He’ll post a pic of you and it’ll have some corny ass caption like “just in case you forgot what they look like 🤭🥰” even all his other recent posts (within the last couple days) were of you

⇾ He will spam your comments with emojis and stupid pick up lines whenever you post on you own page

⇾ His one and only wish is to be between your thighs at all times

⇾ Like if he could die between your thighs, oh trust me he most certainly will, with a smile on his face too

⇾ Oh yea he has a very bad habit of slapping your ass, so hard if hurts

⇾ But being the sweet boy he is, he immediately apologizes and rubs it

⇾ If I keep going any longer this is gonna be super fucking long so imma cut it here and maybe make a Pt2 and answer that last part in it💀

FIN

 ⌜ •   °    +   °   •   ⌝

© original work of hajim3, do not modify or repost without permission.

Like, replies,reblogs, and feedback are greatly appreciated 😁💖

[genlosstse-au-factory]

Now that my full blow anxiety has reduced about the comic blog situation I can reveal to people my thoughts on the whole thing.

I’ll be giving out a criticism to all parties. (I’m not going to use names because I’m still scared.)

Also PLEASE TELL ME IF I GET ANYTHING WRONG.

First of all, something in the comic made two people who I am friendly with uncomfortable. I’m not quite sure what it was but I’m sure it was justified.

Then, a blog I follow (1) said that they really dislike the comic. This is fine.

But this is where one of the first follies comes in. One of said friendlys (2) reblogged the message onto their blog used for being a fan of the comic. They must’ve felt very strongly about how they didn’t enjoy the comic any longer, but in doing this, they threw attention onto 1 who expressed that they proceeded to get death threats. Now, I’m pretty sure that 1 doesn’t mind that 2 brought attention on to them (or maybe they do. I don’t read minds).

Now of course, death threats and hate. That’s a huge mistake from the people who sent them. Don’t fucking send death threats. Don’t do that. That’s not okay. Enough said.

Now I’m going to criticize 1 for a moment. One of 1’s reasons for disliking the comic blog is because the blog runner (3) blocked them on their main. Now, 1 often expresses that it’s totally fair to block someone you dislike or disagree with.

1 criticizing 3 for blocking them, kinda using it as a “they were always bad news”, doesn’t quite make any sense. People can block you and not hate you.

A criticism from others that I’ve seen given to 3 is that the use of the pandemic in their plot is insensitive. I can see this being the case. Another one is saying they (3) wouldn’t do fan service as they felt their audience was too young, but still let them slightly (?) sexualize one of the characters.

(Side note: 2 confuses me in this manner because they are the one who brought this concern up, but I felt as if they were doing some of that themselves. Maybe they could clarify this?)

Anyways, 3 then makes a post expressing that a person (presumably 1) who criticized them, that their criticism didn’t feel genuine and more spiteful ands says they were also slightly harrassed (?) by this person. But they vividly express for a second time that sending hate is bad.

Now my role in all of this. I was allowed to make a blog that added to the canon. I communicated with 3 directly. I feel like I’m friendly with them.

Now you see why I’m so panicky and so fucking conflicted.

I respect 1, 2, and 3. And I really just hope this is all an over reaction. Maybe I’m over reacting again myself and this message wasn’t needed. But still the little details don’t line up in my brain which is making me think that everyone is a bit wrong.

Anyways. PLEASE SAY YOUR OWN THOUGHTS SO WE CAN ALL GET A BIGGER PICTURE.

[himboskywalker]

Tag what is your opinion on fandom cliches and hierarchies? There’s been talk on Twitter about how hard it is to break into the obikin community (which I disagree wkth) but I wondered if you had saw this going on and what your thoughts are as someone who’s been here longer than me

*sighs for a solid 10 minutes* I’m going to sound extremely grumpy answering this and it’s because seeing this kind of stuff pisses me off like nothing else in fandom. I wholeheartedly disagree,as I’m sure you guessed I would,and I have seen similar arguments on tumblr,as I avoid fandom Twitter like the plague. I’ve never seen a more welcoming,friendly,community driven fandom space as I have in the obikin community,and I’ve been in a lot of fandom spaces for a long freaking time. Back in 2019/early 2020 when I made my existence known in obikin,I felt like I was welcomed with open arms and a heartwarming level of love. For the vast majority I’ve found this space to be extremely uplifting,supportive,and positive. And I’m not saying this now as a creator who’s well known in some circles, I’m saying this as the nobody who everyone was extremely kind to when I wasn’t known from Adam,I have been treated the same way from my first chapter to now in regards to peoples’ welcoming kindness.

I’ve seen a couple people on tumblr complain about how hard it is to break into the obikin space and how they feel like nobody cares about them or what they create,and that they feel there’s cliques guarding the supposed gates of…obikin success? I don’t even know. But in my opinion that’s folks waltzing into fandom with an agenda and need that just isn’t compatible with the community spaces of fandom. If you come into a space with the expectation of accolades and popularity you’re not here to actually make friends and have fun,you’re here as a popularity contest.

And I think the fundamental misconception people have is that they are inherently deserving of space and attention just for them coming in and existing. And like, I’m sorry but you have to put in the groundwork to make friends and connections and to find a place you feel you belong. It goes both ways, you have to reach out to people and be friendly and chat,don’t just expect people who have been in this space to magically be your friend and know you when you’re brand new and haven’t made an effort to flag you exist. And that’s what people call “it being hard to break into the space and it’s cliquey.” Because no,that’s how socializing works, you introduce yourself and you chat and you get to know people and you put yourself out there and engage with others. Sometimes you create art and people engage with you over that,sometimes you have funny things to say and people can laugh and bond over that,or sometimes you let other artists know you love what they’ve created. Imagine it as going to a cocktail mixer at an art gallery, you can’t just stand in a freaking corner staring at everyone talking and interacting and then get mad and storm out like “those people are such a clique and not welcoming!!!!” Like bro did you make an effort?

And if you’re coming into fandom as an artist or writer or gif maker or whatever,not everyone is going to like or engage or interact with you and what you create. People in your fandom space are not obligated to reblog your posts or comment on your fics. Especially a space like tumblr,it can take a while for people to notice you and start interacting with you,it’s how algorithms work and is just one of the pitfalls of an online community space. If you make a fandom tumblr I think it’s extremely conceited,self-centered,and like weird to expect to be a popular creator instantly. I’m sure there are people who think I ignore them or am cliquey and barring the door for them when in fact it just takes me a while to notice people. I’m not going to magically remember your username,but what I will notice is you making posts and tagging it in my ship tag, I’ll notice you systematically engaging with people and creating stuff,and l’ll notice if you engage with me. It takes time to build connections,and it takes work.Friendship and community is not owed to you, you must be the second half of the bridge and you must build those relationships and that space for yourself.

We’re a small community, this isn’t a huge popular ship. And it always boggles my mind when people are like iTs sO hArD tO bE iN oBiKiN. Like I notice new artists and writers and gif makers after they’ve made a couple things. We don’t ignore new people but on the flip side it’s not a popularity contest and you’re not owed fame and worship because you were popular in another fandom or because you create art. If you’re here for those reasons then you’re not going to be happy in fandom,especially a small niche part of it where you’re not going to get anywhere near as much attention as you would in a big popular ship.

And I don’t completely buy into the write for yourself mindset and ignore all else. I get what it’s like to want people to enjoy the art you pour yourself into,that’s not a crime. The very act of putting something on tumblr or ao3 means you’re not just creating for yourself. But the key it not to just “create for yourself” but to create what you love. We’re here because we love the same characters and the same world,we want to share that love! And be excited over pouring our love into our art and sharing it with other people who feel the same way!Create and engage in fandom not for popularity or attention,but because you love this thing and it’s inherent human connection with other people who feel the same way. That’s how you build friendships and a community. That’s what fandom is,connection with others over shared love. So engage and create and participate and laugh and chat and cry and connect through shared love. It’s not about our differences,or how we sometimes like different things or find different meanings,that’s what makes these spaces eclectic and fun,it’s not about liking the wrong thing or liking it in a wrong way. If fandom isn’t fun for you because you can’t stand people loving what you love in a different way,or not giving you the attention and praise you want for creating what you love,then that’s a you problem that you should self examine about.

We’re treated like lepers in a lot of spaces for liking the “wrong” thing,and we’re tight knit because of that. Which just means all the more that we can’t afford to be cliquey snobs about “allowing” new people into our space. From every avenue I’ve seen obikin fans are ecstatic to welcome new faces in,it’s just more friends to connect over what we love. Sometimes you like parts of this world or dynamic others don’t,sometimes you create art that means a lot to you that doesn’t mean a lot to everyone else and that’s okay. We’re allowed to have our personal preferences and our likes and our dislikes. But when you start treating other people in the same community like they’re bullying you for not liking the same thing as you and engaging with your content simply because they don’t vibe with it and then accuse the entire fandom of being a gatekeepimg snobby clique,then that’s you just being a whiny baby and I’ll say it to their faces. Your are not oppressed or being bullied because people in obikin don’t like what you do and you’re the one creating divisiveness by saying it’s a problem,no one is obligated to love what you do. And for those who are saying their content isn’t welcome,we’ll that’s just a further cry for attention because there will ALWAYS be someone who will enjoy the dynamic you do,and just because everyone doesn’t,it doesn’t make you a martyr.

So create what you love,put forth a fucking effort to connect with people who like the same shit you do,and don’t push half your fandom away by being a negative black hole in the tags and acting like everyone is out to get you and being mean.

[decepti-thots]

re: meta again. first, thank you for the long answer! you have a lot of interesting points, e.g. how fandom spaces influence how you interact with media: my first fandom space was restricted to teenagers who mostly knew nothing about media analysis (and it was also animanga haha), and then I moved onto tumblr, where - in my memory - most users were slightly older teenagers but still didn't know much about media analysis. there probably was meta somewhere (apparently on LJ?), but I didn't see (or notice?) a lot of it. which possibly also was because I changed fandoms a lot more quickly, and I feel like many others did, too. there's a book fandom where five years ago, the general sentiment about an antagonist was 'well fuck him' and now people write extensive posts on why he did what and what that means for the story and why it mirrors the protagonists arc etc, which maybe means that sometimes fandoms need time to get past the initial excitement of new things to give more attention/time to meta?

I very much agree that tumblr makes interactions/discussions harder. especially re: reblogs - its so easy for someone to disagree with you in a reblog and some of their followers to take that as a hint to hate on you - I've seen this happen mostly related to "shipping the wrong things", but why wouldn't it happen for drawing the "wrong" conclusions in a meta post? I feel like the general tumblr user is older than they were 10 years ago so maybe I should hope that they've grown up as well and are more reasonable about this to be fair

what I also noticed regarding the book fandom and TF is that TF fans - depending on your specific bubble probably - seem to be more aware that writing meta is a thing, because they're more likely to call it that.

re: elitism - it's important to me that the things I was referring to can feel elitist, not that they are, if the distiction makes sense? maybe it also wasn't the best/fairest choice of words, sorry. the sentiment isn't meant towards e.g. the people complaining about headcanons that have become accepted in the fandom but have zero relation to canon. its more frustration that theres seemingly infinite canon material and you can't really join any conversation without interacting with a good chunk of it, while (seemingly) everyone else has already done that already.

and finally, wonder if part of who writes meta and who doesn't is fandom "socialization"; there seem to be a few people for whom it appears easy to express their thoughts online, and then a much larger amount of lurkers who don't, and I've never really figured out the cause.

god tumblr does really let me put as much text as I want here, I'm a bit sorry for the long message. If you have any further thoughts I'd be happy to hear them but no pressure

First of all: no apologies for the long message! I love it, I will put my thoughts under a cut for everyone's dashes but we LOVE an in depth fandom meta-meta discussion in this household. I started this blog to RAMBLE and rambling is WELCOME my friend.

You make an EXCELLENT point about how longevity can influence fandoms here, anon. Especially for fandoms where there isn't a constant drip-feed of NEW canon, I absolutely think fandoms living on and people going back and re-engaging the source material to look for new ways to engage it can gradually make meta a larger part of the fannish space sometimes. (To give my own book fandom example, I was on the periphery of book!Good Omens fandom back in the day, and the amount of time people had spent with just that one single book meant that more and more discussion of the ways you could read and work with that one book meant there was some very in-depth meta going on there.) (…as you can imagine, the last few years have been a hell of a wild time for me with the show fandom becoming the Hot New Major Fandom, LMAOOOO.)

There's definitely also something there about the old "if someone I follow clowns on a person, my (para)social relationship with them means I feel like I'm doing a social faux-pas by not choosing a side" you mention here too. Tumblr really makes visible the idea of social networks in a way I have to admit I overall find uhhh. Kind of not great. "If I follow someone who follows someone my mutual hates, do I need to perform my support of someone here", that kind of thing. (Answer: no, that is some Panopticon shit, bring in the Foucault. I am only half joking.) Even over an objectively inane Transformers headcanon take, it's the social mechanism more than the content that brings in the pressure I think. Again. Web 2.0 wants everything pushed at everyone all the time to encourage More Interaction, and reducing any sense of wider social circles being removed from you personally is a part of that I think. It's all equal on The Endless Timeline, innit.

I see what you mean about the "feels like" distinction on elitism, anon, now you lay that out- that makes sense. I do think TF fandom is sometimes a bit of a minefield in terms of like, even within certain subdivisions of canon there's so MUCH stuff (and the fandom has, IMO, a bad habit of not bothering to decide what is more or less "useful" in conversations; sometimes tertiary material is… you know. Tertiary. LOOKING AT ALIGNED FANDOM). I think those of us who are sometimes a bit more "canon completionist" do need to approach these things in terms of like- take IDW1 fandom. If someone posts meta about MTMTE based on just material from MTMTE, approaching that in good faith and not going "well it's in continuity with phase one, and THIS phase one comic says [xyz]", but instead seeing it as a perspective that takes that one text as a complete thing in itself? (And maybe considering how that perspective and how it differs from one which looks at the whoooole canon is interesting, rather than deficient, in its differences of opinion.) There are folks who get very snotty about people doing that in a way that is, at the very least, unproductive. (And the folks bringing in their Extensive Lore Knowledge TM by whining stuff from other continuities contradicts a take on a different continuity are just uhhh. Annoying. Those people can just Stop, Please, lmao.) I think understanding that different approaches to what "canon" even is can be interesting rather than something to be "corrected" might go some way to making it feel less… intimidating? Alienating? For folks working with what they like.

As for the confidence in sharing opinions thing… I can only speak for myself but uh. If I have a personal flaw it is unwarranted overconfidence, not insecurity, haha. Let me put it that way. I do think that cultivating a confidence in the idea "I have my own personal tastes, and those tastes are idiosyncratic and do not need to be compared to other peoples' taste, and they are Valid TM" is a skill to be honed and one I think is worth honing, and I think may be a big thing here from my anecdotal observations. I find that many people in fandom don't have a lot of confidence in the idea that you can express not just an argument for "objective" (lol) "quality" but a sense of personal taste? (This is not unique to fandom, at all, but I think fandom has a lot of it, if that makes sense.) Especially because often the things fandom centres around lack cultural prestige. It's why an appeal to being Real Literature TM is the go-to argument for why fanfiction is "acceptable". I think a similar thing can be true of opinions; to let go of the urge to have everyone agree with you 100% of the time and to be "proven" right, you have to feel confident enough to sit in subjectivity and be like. My opinions may be subjective, but that's fine. And you do have to cultivate that! But I think that's where the "I can express an opinion and not feel destroyed if someone flat out rejects it and I can't even disprove their argument" trick kinda lies, maybe. And maybe meta is easier if you've already internalized that, so the possibility people will be like "nope" is less scary?

[bthump]

This isn’t specifically about you and more about the anons, because I’ve noticed that you sometimes get requests to respond to meta posts other people make and something about that makes me a bit uncomfortable. Since your meta posts are widely liked by a big part of this community, it sometimes feels like you’re being kinda requested to „debunk“ other meta posts. Diversity in opinions is so important for a good fandom atmosphere and some of the anons you get seem to wanna stir up hostility and I don’t like it. Since I like some of your meta posts, but also find myself agreeing with other people, I just feel weird about this dynamic, you know? How do you feel about it?

I think that's a fair concern but honestly, I don't see it as inherently a problem. This might be my 00s internet bias here lol, but I tend to view meta on a public platform as fair game for response or external commentary - which includes my own posts. My meta is here to be read by anyone who wants to, and to provoke thought and discussion, and that's generally what I assume of others' meta as well.

Like I recognize that attitudes have changed in the era of mostly unmoderated spaces and reblogs and the lack of diverse comms with their own norms and discourse running rampant lol, and so it's often considered automatically rude to disagree with people now, but I think that can only extend so far. Like, I don't reblog posts just to disagree with them (unless they're a friend and I know they're cool with discussion) because I know it sucks when you keep getting notes from people who are liking or reblogging the take you disagree with, but I don't think that should mean not discussing other people's meta at all, as long as it's done respectfully of course.

And I understand why someone might want a second opinion on something they read. I think everyone should think for themselves and form their own opinions, and I completely agree that diversity of opinion is important in any fandom. But not everyone has confidence in their own analysis, or the learned skills for criticism, and I think it's reasonable to seek out other viewpoints and decide which seems most correct to you, or use them as boucing off points to figure out what you believe. I definitely don't want to be the only Berserk meta blog out there, and I'm more than happy to agree to disagree with most people. I'm not an authority on the story lol and people are free to agree or disagree with me however they see fit.

That said, I'm always a little wary about tone and intent, especially in Berserk fandom, because I'm not here to get into arguments and I try to make that clear. But I take most asks in good faith. Sometimes I might go a little too far with that lol, but honestly I'd rather come across as naive than hostile. If I found out that someone was trying to start a fight between me and someone else, or was using my posts to dunk on someone else, or if followers of mine took it as a cue to harass someone, I'd absolutely say something and stop answering those asks. (Hopefully we're all chill enough over here that this doesn't happen, btw. As far as I'm aware I've never incited anything like that and I've personally only ever seen fandom arguments started by people mad about Griffith fans existing, but tbf I also don't pay attention to whatever's happening outside of my dash.)

But yeah I don't think that's what's happening here, and I don't want to assume someone's trying to start shit unless there's clear evidence for that. Like in the last ask I got like this, the anon did specify that they agreed with the post they wanted me to comment on, and were just seeking more opinions/wondering what my own take was, and I think that's reasonable.

Idk, this is definitely one of those things where I know there are different valid opinions about etiquette. But I generally abide by the 'do unto others' rule, including here. I blog with the expectation that anyone can read what I write and agree or disagree, and that I might inspire other discussion. Sometimes I get nervous about being linked to notably hostile fan spaces, like the berserk reddit, but it has happened with virtually the same motivation as those anons (what do you guys think of this person's take?) and ultimately I'm fine with it, and even a little flattered.

All that said, at the end of the day I do think that it would be best for anyone who sends an ask referencing someone else's analysis to be specific about what they want to know, rather than a general 'what do you think of this?' question. Both because it shows why you're asking and what you're interested in and leaves less room for doubting your motivation, and because it makes it easier to answer.

[mrswhozeewhatsis]

PSA from a fandom con photographer

As some of you know, I'm a con photographer. A while back, a bunch of us joined a group chat together, and we talk about all things cons and photography in there. Recently, the subject of photo theft has come up again, but this time a new comment was made and that's why I'm here.

In the past, I've heard photographers express frustration about people reposting our photos with watermarks cropped out or otherwise removed. Sometimes, these photos are edited further and someone else's watermark slapped on top of it. This is disrespectful, at best, and really offends the original photographer. Usually, this is done in an effort to gain clout online, and not for any artistic reasons. This is not what I'm here to talk about.

I know that a lot of folks on Tumblr use con photos for fic headers and aesthetics and such, especially for RPF fics. (Because we can totally tell whether a photo is Jensen or Dean, even with the background edited out, he's just that good.) It's come to my attention that some photographers would be REALLY uncomfortable with their art being used this way. They don't read fic, they don't understand it, or they just don't want their art used in a way that misinterprets the moment captured in the photo, even if it's fiction.

We need to respect this.

How do we feel when someone reblogs our fics and uses it to prop up an argument about our characters that we disagree with? We feel kinda shitty. That's how photographers feel when their photos are used in ways they weren't consulted about.

How do we fix this?

When you search Google and find an image from a con, do a reverse lookup on that image and AT LEAST TRY to find the original photographer. If the photo has been taken in the last year or so, you can come to me and see if I know who took it, too.

Ask that photographer if they are okay with you using their image in the way you intend. I know this is a pain, but remember how you'd feel if someone used your art without asking permission!

Many times, if you ask, the answer will be yes. Sometimes, it may be no. Please respect the answer you receive.

If you honestly try and can't find the photographer, then at least put a comment captioning this on the post where you use the photo. If you make a good faith effort and express this in your caption, that at least lets us know that you tried.

If you have any questions about this, feel free to ask me!

Personal note from me: If you like any of my photos, you are welcome to use them. I know I don't make the best photos in the fandom, so this isn't much, but it's there.

Also, "credit to Google" or "I found this on Google" is not credit. Google does not create images. Google only indexes them.

Just remember that there is a person behind every image and piece of art you find on Google.

Also, if you don't contact the artist/photographer, how does that person know that you liked their work? They don't. This is the same as if someone reads your fic but doesn't hit the heart or reblog it. Personally, I LOVE getting asked about my photos the same way I love hearing feedback on my fics. Let your photographer know you love their work!

I've been asked about screen grabs and gifs. I'm referencing just those photos taken by people at cons. Screengrabs and gifs also take talent to create, so if you can find out who made them and give them credit, that's awesome. Photos taken from the star's Twitter or IG....that's a good question. Credit would go to them, but they are impossible to ask if they mind. An argument could also be made that they know what might happen to any photo they put out there. (Maybe put a link to the original as credit?)

It was only recently that I saw someone comment about their photo being used to apply a narrative to Jensen based on his facial expression in the photo, and a brief mention of fic happened right after that, and I just got the feeling that certain photographers would not be pleased to know how we use their photos, sometimes.

As far as I know, no photographer has found their photo in a fic header and complained. But based on what was said, if they did, they might not be happy. And not just because most photos used in a fic header end up being further edited to make it work with the header, beyond cropping. For instance, an asexual photographer might feel icky about their photo being used as a header for a smut fic.

TL;DR - Credit your photographers in your headers, edits, and mood boards when at all possible. Make the effort to contact them and ask for permission. Some may give you blanket permission as I have. Some may not. Either way, this is their art that you're manipulating, so please respect it.

steps off soap box Thank you for listening!

[proship-selfship]

Hi, I came to this site around a year ago. At the time, I had no idea what the terms anti or proshipper meant, and just wanted to join in order to find content for fandom related stuff. Well, this is how I accidentally inadvertently fell into the anti pipeline, and I am going to call it a pipeline because I have fallen down both the far right pipeline on YouTube and the anti pipeline here on tumblr and I can tell you that they both utilize the exact same tactics to trick youth into thinking just like them.

I basically just followed whatever fandom blogs were recommended to me by the tumblr algorithm, I didn’t really know any better. They all had something like ‘proship DNI’ or ‘proshitters 🤮’ but I didn’t know what any of that meant so I followed anyway.

I eventually got ingrained with the sort of anti-community of this fandom, and it’s really scary shit the stuff they say and how they act. They made me feel like anyone who didn’t think like them was CRAZY, they were unfathomably EVIL and INHUMAN, they were the only safe ones in fandom to talk to, EVERYONE either is or should be EXACTLY like them. There was very much a sense of being watched and judged and I felt myself getting anxiety, obsessively combing through peoples blogs before reblogging from them because god forbid if you did reblog from someone ‘bad’ you’d get about ten dozen anons telling you to kill yourself for being a dirty hidden proshipper trying to infiltrate the antis and get completely ostracized and dropped by the ‘friend’ group. God forbid if you disagreed with any of the popular leaders, either. And it’s not like there were any hard-and-set rules, either. They were literally just using social Justice language as a blunt weapon to bludgeon anyone who didn’t hold their same views. Because one ship could get called pedophilia for being a 3 year age difference between a 20 and a 23 year old, and anyone who ships that is a weirdo or a groomer in disguise, but if it’s a ship THEY like, an age difference of 10 years between an 18 and 28 year old was just dandy.

People also used the anti term as a shield against criticism, and especially as a shield against suspicion. There are a ton of actual honest to fucking god groomers and pedophiles in anti circles who portray themselves as ‘good, trustworthy adults’ because of how they only consume good, morally pure content. I had one big-ish fandom anti slid into my fucking messages asking me for my real name, my age, and a selfie, so she could better ‘protect me’ and make sure I only talked about topics I ‘should’ talk about. Was weirdly fucking obsessed with knowing what my race was and would constantly post weird reblog baits and tag me in them like ‘what’s your eye color’ or ‘what’s your skin color’ since I refused to send her a selfie or tell her my race. And a lot of antis know about the presence of these fucking pedophiles in their midst but don’t report them or do anything about them because it would be ‘bad for their image’ and ‘the proshitters would have a field day’ or ‘I know they were creepy towards you but I know for a fact that they’re not a bad person because we’ve both harassed and suicide baited dozens of people with bad fiction opinions together and I know she only has good opinions on the media I consume soooo Idc if she was creepy towards you and the 6 thousand other minors in the fandom lol kill yourself you attention whore <3’ the last one may or may not be based on an actual conversation.

So tldr they very much made me feel like. They were the only ones with opinions that mattered, they were the only one who I could trust, they were the majority and everyone was just like them anyway and you’re crazy if you think anyone thinks differently from us because EVERYONE secretly thinks exactly like us and if you disagree with anything you must be one of those weird groomer pedophile freaks.

The reason I fell out of this anti pipeline? I was saved because of their own bigotry. I’m asexual, and one night, one of the big antis in fandom goes on a out-of-the-blue absolute tirade about how much they absolutely despise asexuals, how we are infiltrating the lgbt and trying to ban sex, how we are just straight people in disguise trying to make lgbt into puritans, how much she just wanted to bash our skulls in. I read all this, decide to respond to it in the morning, go to bed and find myself blocked by everyone for some bullshit about secretly being a pro shipper in disguise all along, despite having done nothing to warrant that response. I had blocked who they wanted, refused to talk to whoever they didn’t want me to talk to, etc. oh wait, could it be? That they just made some shit up because I had the fact that I was asexual in my bio and hid like the little cowards they are? I highly suspect it, and at the time it was crushing, but now I’m very thankful for it. Never thought I’d say this, but Thank god for aphobia 🙏

I have so much more to say about how they had probably the most conservative and bafflingly republican views I had ever witnessed since the 1950s. Like the racism was cartoonishly bad. The stereotypes about people of different sexualities. The blatant ignorance about other cultures. The misogyny, both towards fictional women and real-life women they hated. I have stories for days

...This was a wild ride from start to finish. I get told "antis aren't a cult wdym" and then I get anecdotes like this from people who've escaped those circles that just reinforce my point. This is so fucked up.

[dustyfandomtrashbin]

Oh! An introduction post?

yes. It's under the cut because it makes this easier.

About me, and what I do here!

• Please refer to me as Dust / Dusty for my name! I do have an IRL name but I'm not comfortable sharing it with strangers. I go by she/her and they/them. I'm an adult taking college classes, so I wont be active 100% of the time. I promise I'm not ignoring you! • I'm overall chill if a mishap happen, and prefer to talk things out! If I follow you but tend to stick to the tags, I might be a little nervous to interact, so I'll hide in the tags to support. •I'm super emotive with text emotions in what I say! I can't help but add a :D, a ^^, a :3 and a lot more in what I say. • If I end up doing something wrong, 9/10 I'm probably unaware. Bring it to my attention so I know please! Boundaries are SUPER important to me as well, so if I cross one, it's not intentional! Let me know and I'll do my best to avoid the same mistake in the future! • If I have an opinion/topic I believe that you disagree with, you're welcome to explain your POV to me! I'm open to changing my opinions if I feel like I heavily misunderstood. (Note: Certain topics I will not discuss, so if I don't answer, don't persist.) • I tend to like and reblog spam people sometimes! (If you don't like this, lemme have a way to know!) I also tend to reblog posts multiple times if I agree with them a lot! • I tend to draw others ocs and send them through the ask box/ make a post and mention them over on my art account quite a bit! (If you don't like this, lemme have a way to know!) • This is my multifandom reblog main account! Just my humble little home! :) •I tend to reblog everything regardless if I know it or not. The only thing I tend to stick away from is cookie run. I don't have good experiences with the fandom, so please don't expect me to like or reblog anything of the sort.

DNI (Do not interact) and general things to know:

(List may have future updates, this is what I can think up at the top of my head)

• If you think pedophilia, incest, proshipping or any of that nasty shit is acceptable, DNI. •If you are an asshole bc someones opinions don't match up wit your own. I get it that you have your own opinions,which is fine, but attacking others over them is not okay in my book. •If you use AI art and think that shit is acceptable, LEAVE. • If you use slurs to purposely upset me. • If you don't look as if you are a real person you will be blocked. •If you fake mental illnesses or anything. I don't tolerate such here, sorry.

Special tags, links, and Side Blogs!

• My ramblings/ updates and answering questions go under #dust talks , while specifically silly asks go under #silly asks • My save tag is #dust save . Gifts for me, art tips, and misc things go here. Mainly a tag for me, but you can look if you'd want to. • My oc moments go under #dusts oc moments ! I'm often finding posts that I can relate to my ocs, so I'll tag this, then the oc I find suitable. • My favorite color pallets go under #dusts color save ! • My gaming tag is #dusty's controller ! • I reblog my art here a bit, which will be tagged with #dusts art (I also use #self reblog with this)! My art account is called @dustballdrawsartwork which is semi active ! You can ask me art related things there if you wish. • I have a Rain World ask blog called @groupalpha which is currently active! •I have a side Rain World blog called @disclosed-spire which is currently active! You can ask me my rain world thoughts and opinions if you'd like over there.

•Rain World joke ask and rp blog that's not very serious is at @the-lovecore-abnormality ! •If you're curious of my ocs, they can be found here! (It'll take you to my Toyhouse page)

•My Drawbox post :)

Anyways have a great day!

[ftmtftm]

It does kinda seem that you put a whole possible group of people on blast for one kid's dumbass "joke". This is going to have repercussions that are a bit too harsh for the crime of being young and unfunny, as people are already making posts talking about sending them rape threats, suicide baiting them, and doxing them. Calling attention to this on your big blog probably wasn't the best move, even if you felt the need to distance yourself in a "its not me, its them officer" type move. This doesn't need anymore attention. It should've been handled privately with the user who originally made the joke, but I guess that's tumblr for you. Everything needs to be a circus.

I hope you're deleting any replies that are listing urls in your notes bc if you let that happen on your post, on your blog, and it goes too far, you'll have some perverbial blood on your hands too.

Hey, so first and foremost to address the very end of your ask: I have not seen anyone listing URLs in my replies or reblogs and if anyone has been doing that I would appreciate it being brought to my attention so I can delete it! I've scrubbed through the notes and my activity and cannot find anything, so if something has slipped through the cracks please tell me!

Secondly, and also related to the end of your ask, I really don't appreciate the guilt trippy nature of this ask at all! If you want to have a discussion about platforms and the way people use them, by all means we can have that conversation, but I'd prefer if it was had without the typical Tumblr accusatory guilt trip tonality. I'm addressing this upfront because addressing someone in the way you've addressed me really isn't how a productive conversation is had, but I wanna take the opportunity to try to have one. Let's just talk without trying to make each other feel bad to try to prove a point, okay?

I do agree that I should have put more thought into my post and also I should not have made it while I was on my lunch break at work. I had less control over the response to it than I would've liked and also left people in my DMs waiting on a reply in a way I'm sure was stressful. I'm not used to my posts gaining that much attention that quickly and that is on me for not having thought about that possibly.

I do think that I made it abundantly clear that I don't support the harassment of anyone, ever and that harassment and targeting individuals wasn't the goal of the post once I was able to. I do apologize that it wasn't something I was necessarily thinking about it the moment and that my comments were not soon enough to beat some of Tumblr's worst to the punch.

This is where I'm sure some people will disagree with me, but do I pretty firmly believe in openly, publicly talking about the failures of and issues within my own communities. I don't think there is anything to be gained from trying to shy away from it or trying to be quiet about it, especially when shying away or burying it just tends to lead to entire community collapse in the long run in my experience. That is why I made a post publicly about it in the first place.

I'm going to go more in depth into my reasoning for making a public post here, but if that doesn't interest you that's okay! The previous paragraph sums up my feelings pretty concisely, this next section is just expanding on it.

This is a new~ish blog, but I've been active on and off in Tumblr discourse spaces since I was about 16 so I'm looking at this informed by about a decade of experiences. The thing I've seen that happens most often is once people who aren't used to a giant influx of attention get that attention, especially if it is negative, things tend to get extremely sour extremely quickly. Usually this results in taunting, feeling like you need to get the last word in with a quippy remark, slippery slope-ing, and a lot of assumptions and poor taste comments that come from very real upset and distress. Those responses then get used as more fuel for the fire and it just continues and continues and continues really until someone deletes or abandons their blog. That's absolutely not to discredit the very real distress that is happening, but instead to call attention to this cycle that happens all the time.

I personally partially attribute the nature of this cycle to the fact that no one on the internet (especially on Tumblr) really knows how to healthily disengage because the internet is a culture all about engagement (especially negative engagement), but that's a topic for another post. The reason why I bring up the cycle is because in all of that individuals tend to get mean, defensive, and deflective and say things they might not actually mean or reflect extremely poorly out of context.

That's what has been happening with multiple people I follow the last few days, not just with one or two individuals. When a culture like that begins to take shape I think it's important to openly address the ways in which it is manifesting, especially when it includes a public joke about the oppression of another marginalized group. Like I said earlier, I do think I should have gone about it better in the ways I've already described but what's done is done in that regard. I also would like to address the fact that I explicitly, intentionally did not name individuals because there was already a harassment campaign happening and I did not want to directly contribute to that. Again, I see the failures within that especially given my own personal timing, I just want to give context for anyone reading this ask.

Again, you're more than allowed to disagree with my feelings or my responses/lack of response due to other constraints and you can extrapolate as much ill will and negativity from it all as you'd like. I can't control the thoughts and actions of other people. I do, however, know myself and I know how I feel and while I do believe I should have been more thoughful about my timing and wording I don't have any issue with openly addressing actions I disagree with in communities I'm in. Especially ones like that. That's not really going to change because of an anon slippery slope-ing about proverbial blood on my hands in my askbox.

I also want to add on the end here that I don't particularly like the accusation that I'm a "big blog" when before I made that post I had under 200 followers. Sure, I'm vocal, I've got a decently put together mobile layout, and I speak like I know what I'm talking about, but I'm that doesn't make me a "big blog" - I've just been on Tumblr for a decade and know my way around most of the time (though, as I think this shows, I'm also still human and have my own blind spots like everyone else).

[the-bi-fangirl-biatch]

go bestie expose your feelings about the ending😔✌️

before i say anything, these are my OWN opinions! no one take them as me speaking for everyone. you can either respectfully discuss in the reblogs/replies or make your own post if you disagree that much, thank you!!

everything else is under the cut bc oh gosh this is actually pretty long lmao (dw, I have a TL;DR at the end)

let me start with the LOWS of the episode and work my way to a more positive light :)))

first off, we had no resolution to the fob watch/timeless child arc. I can still understand this bit because it's part of the mystery, but it feels like there's so much plot whose ends they still haven't tied together. did she just drop the fob watch containing ALL HER PAST MEMORIES inside the TARDIS and ignore it?? did the doctor really not tell yaz about the memories? did she do that offscreen? like- what? they set up so many plots and didn't even end up continuing them like they deserve

next is how they handled sapphic ships, specifically lesbian ships. I don't know much about the classic companions but from what i've seen, tegan and nyssa are supposed to be together and ace is lesbian-coded, but what we got was retconned tyssa and ace flirting with graham?? and I also disliked how they implied that tegan's life was so dull after being left by the doctor.

they also didnt resolve thasmin at all like?? they gave yaz SO MUCH character development and it looked like her relationship with 13 was gonna have a better resolution because of how they added more of it in EOTD and LOTSD but no?? what happened to "I want to tell you everything" and "if it was gonna be anyone it would've been you"? they just ended it with a nod and walking away silently? now here, I can understand that they both don't want to say goodbye (the doctor bc she hates goodbyes and yaz bc she's holding out hope that they may see each other again) BUT we deserve more than just that. (maybe this is bc I was imagining a killing eve s3 finale-esque goodbye wherein both yaz and the doctor stop in their tracks and turn around for a final goobye kiss, but that's on me lmao)

in addition to that, why is it that the first sapphic doctor is the only one who didn't get a kiss in her entire run, when she had so much chances to kiss yaz? and please don't say "we know it's confirmed to be romantic so we don't need the kiss" bc we have had enough shipping based on subtext and post-show confirmations. i agree that physical touch doesn't define a relationship but can't we have it this once? would it be so hard to give us this on their final day?

finally, imo they hardly gave enough time for jodie to say goodbye to her role properly. it would still have been ok if the episode was only filled to the brim with classic who nostalgia, but then they made her regenerate to 10. instead of giving her (the first female doctor) or ncuti (the first black doctor) the spotlight, they decide to bring back the most popular (and most used) doctor, david tennant. don't get me wrong i LOVE david as a person, but there's a difference between bringing someone back for a cameo and overusing them. with all honesty, I'm tired of him and ten 🤷.

and not only that, they took their most popular (white male cishet) doctor, aka the one that most if not all NMDs compare jodie to, and put him at the end as a cliffhanger? like he was the one they should have been waiting for? they must know that they're diverting people's attention away from appreciating jodie's ending and ncuti's beginning. I keep seeing stuff on twitter like "finally, the good doctor who! they're gonna restore doctor who back to its formal glory! this will prove that the female doctor was a mistake!" which is UTTER BULLSHIT

now here are the HIGHS of the episode because there were a lot of them too:

I LOVED how this episode gave closure to some of the classic companions, aka tegan and ace. I squealed when ace called the doctor "professor" and I'm glad they didn't shy away from showing that a previous companion was (rightfully) upset with the doctor. and all the callbacks! the nitro 9, ace's jacket, and her bat, too. don't even get me STARTED on the "support group for former companions" because that was amazing. IAN WAS THERE?!?!? and it gives such a good open end to them, not only for future projects but also for fanfiction lmao.

the plot of this episode was impressive and fun. its length contributed significantly because it defo wouldn't have worked if it wasn't as long. I really wasnt expecting it to make as much sense as it did because it was a great undertaking, but I'm glad it did. it showed the best parts of chibnall's take on doctor who (utilizing iconic classic who elements well and his own take on history).

THE CHARACTERS!!! gahdamn I loved how they gave the characters their own jobs that only they can handle, like kate and tegan with the cybermen (bc of their history with them), ace with the daleks (same reason, her history) and yaz saving the doctor (bg their PARALLELS here I wanna bawl).

I was also obsessed with the master in this episode!! Sacha played him as such an unhinged little pathetic brat man (affectionate) but he also proved that he was more than capable of delivering powerful scenes. compare the humour of the rasputin dance sequence vs the master so desperately wanting to be the doctor because he feels lonely. he's one of the consistently great things about this episode. i will be hearing RA RA RASPUTIN on repeat in my head for the foreseeable future (as well as thirteen's theme 😭😭😭).

Yaz taking charge!!! my little badass who's grown from being unsure about facing a potential threat in s11 to kicking (the master's) ass, saving ace, flying the tardis like it was nothing, and reversing a regeneration?!?! and not to mention Mandip's acting. she's proven that she has the range of badass action, deep emotion, hilarious comedy, and just raw heart. she's amazing, showstopping, phenomenal. and out of my favourite companions, yaz is the one I connect to the most, both with her struggles (in her mental health, in growing as a person, and in learning she's queer) and her strengths (hopefully her heart, her love for friends, her courage), so to see her grow at the same time as I have is so special to me.

finally, people may disagree with me on this, but I love thirteen's regeneration speech, due to the fact that she did not do it on her own, she didnt just talk to herself on that cliffside (that was just the last bit). most of her speech was to YAZ, her companion, her friend, the one who's supposed to be the viewer's stand-in. her entire message of "goodbyes only hurt because what came before was so special, and it's been so special. no body else got to be us, no body else got to live our days, no body. and my hearts are so full of love for all of you" was not just the doctor to yaz, but jodie and mandip to us. and idc if yall don't like her last words, "Tag, you're it" is SO THIRTEEN and is instantly iconic.

TL;DR I disliked: the abandoned fob watch plot, how they handled sapphic/lesbian characters, the way they hinted at thasmin but never properly resolved them, nostalgia overtaking Jodie's time to say goodbye, and yet another doctor played by david tennant, who I think is overused I LOVED: the closure this gave to tegan and ace, both of them and kate being given unique spotlight, the Former Companion Support Group™️, Sacha Dhawan as the Master, Mandip GIll as Yaz, seeing how much yaz has grown, Jodie Whittaker as The Doctor, aaand 13's regeneration speech (which was directed to yaz and to us, not just to herself)

[fluorescentbrains]

Honestly I think it's just one of those things that isn't as deep as people make it. It hurts when something you've spent a long time on gets ignored, and It's easy to feel upset when you see people reblogging text posts that took 5 seconds to write and not your art which took 5 hours. But it isn't really a moral or social issue that people make it out to be, nobody is "killing fandom" or being entitled because they don't reblog every piece of art they see on the dash.

word. i would also add that i’m not going to, for example, reblog people’s fanfiction the same way i reblog 2 sentence shitposts… because i want to actually read the entire fanfic before i plug it lmao. there might be something in the fic i really disagree with and don’t want to boost!! and not just petty stuff like i didnt like the sex position or something but last year spn fandom had a whole Situation with someone posting a fanfic that turned out to be pretty offensive but people were passing it around without paying close attention

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

Hi!! I just wanted to say that I completely get not finding that much joy in the fandom/ harry and louis anymore. I had a mini minor tiny breakdown about it last night bc of the tags you put on the post you reblogged from me where you said something like please bring me joy, and I felt that so much 😭 this ask is gonna be 3 parts because i'm already running out of room oops

I think part of the reason is that I’m stressed and winter is coming so I’m also a little depressed. But I also think part of it is that there’s so much harry content but it just feels empty to me? I don’t know if that’s because I don’t connect to it as much but I also feel like he’s going through the motions if that makes sense? Maybe it’s just because I see things from afar (literally bc he’s in the us and the show is when I’m asleep) but I really feel like he’s on stage doing his job vs. 2/3

vs. last Europe tour where he was so happy and smiley the entire time. Plus spitgate being the first real general public harry hate and since then he’s really been the gp talk every week or so and I hate it. Anyway separate from these rambles; I’m always happy to see you on my dash and I’m so glad you’re here and I hope you find some joy in them again ❤️

hey <33 thank you for your message, and yeah. i feel you! i noticed i really had a hard time loving content from the residencies, bc i disagree with their existence so much. he looked tired and yeah, he really was going through the motions. he sang kiwi and medicine like they were canyon moon, yk? but not following along to his doings also made me unhappy, so that's a balance i'm trying to regain now. at the end of the day, i love harry and want him to be happy. gp talk and any of his media attention sucks, so i'm good with ignoring that forever. i've just been sadly exposed to some of it on tiktok bc i use that app as brain anesthesia big rip. i hate hearing randos talk about harry lmao. my big challenge rn sadly is that i've just come out of a relationship and fandom was something huge we shared and now reminds me a lot of them and our shared time. so i don't want to lose my love for h and l's content bc of that and it's a bit of a process now. so, sorry for the minor breakdown my tags caused :)) but i really appreciate this, bc despite the source of our sadness being different, we just want this space to stay meaningful to us. i'm always here if you want to let some of the depression demons out, if you want someone to relate to <333

[katyspersonal]

I thought saintmic was the one to get banned for harassment

Saintmic never harassed anyone, ever, in his entire life! He was just sharing his feelings and opinions in his blog, which is everyone's right on free speech. The worst thing he could do is to reblog a post he disagrees with with a harsh objection but that's not harassment, that's disagreeing in the internet (again, check free speech). So... yeah, not a lucky guess.

Harassment is, like... well, the quickest association is when someone explicitly let the person know they're not welcomed but that person continues to repeatedly pester them for attention/friendship/information/relationship/etc. But even then this is a grey area because sometimes the """harrasser""" was unfairly slaughtered and tries to resolve misunderstanding with someone who bought into rumors and lies, or is just too autistic to understand the hint of not being wanted idk?

More plain and real examples of harassment online are, like... posting someone's name in your fandom blog and going "guys this person is BAAAAD, block them for being BAAAAD, because BAAAAAD people are not allowed in our christian wholesome space!!!!! uwu" and then proceeding to dig dirt about their personal life and old traumas with one's drama hungry fans, or like... hatewatching someone's blog daily in order to spot every single person who shows them human treatment in order to repeatedly pester those people on anon to hate this person and see them as one causing harm when they don't.

I am pretty sure some of these might sound familiar ;)

[septimus-heap]

God. Okay. Just saw a post and like. Yes if ppl r saying that likes r a genuinely malicious thing then they r wrong. Obviously people don't like posts to be rude. No one is saying that?? We r saying that it Feels like a bit of a slap to the face when someone goes through liking all ur art and not rbing,, I'm so annoyed and idk how to phrase this without linking the post and directly responding to it which. I'm not doing bc I'm not an asshole and I don't want to be harassed. But. This post said smth along the lines of that a like is an expression of Positive Emotion and a reblog is Exposure and I can't. I can't disagree with that more,,,, yes reblogs r exposure but its not. I don't want reblogs because they're exposure™ I dont. The phrasing makes it sound like I'm not a person it makes it sound like I'm just looking for notes and. I want reblogs because they're engagement because I want other people to see my art and react to it and enjoy it and that just can't happen if it doesn't get rbs!!! Yes I'm looking for my post to get shared but I'm not looking for it to get Exposure that's not it idk idk I'm. I'm mad and upset and idk how to phrase this,,, I don't see likes as someone going "I enjoy this post" I see likes as someone going "I saw this post, and I did not hate it". Likes function more like bookmarks than anything else,, a reblog is. Idk. It's more it actually makes me feel like someone Liked it like they Enjoyed it I can't. I can't word this right i can't figure out how to say what I'm trying to say. I'm a human person and YES I want attention for my art of course I do of course. I hate the implication that wanting attention for things ive spent hours on is bad. I hate it I hate it

[dhaaruni]

hmm i have mixed feelings on the deBoer article. I really like theses 3+4 and 7+8, they felt most relevant to my own experience as an autistic person who feels pretty disillusioned from the (mostly online) "autistic community".

However I really disagree with labeling chronic fatigue syndrome as a "boutique diagnosis" that people just make up for attention - I am very skeptical of people who are dismissive of the existence of chronic illnesses that doctors dont know much about e.g. CFS, fibromyalgia etc, those people's pain and symptoms have to come from somewhere

sorry for sending such a long ask lol you don't need to reply if i'm too rambly. it's a really bold article and I like it a lot but i dont want to actually reblog it bc i don't want hate lmao

Haha I love that I just post this stuff and don't get hate for it, it's probably because people are too busy sending me hate for being square-shaped or wide-bodied or whatever.

Like you, I think DeBoer's argument falls apart with chronic illnesses that people don't know much about, especially since like @amoonshapedpool noted, those illnesses also disproportionately impact women. Just because we don't know a lot about something like fibromyalgia doesn't mean it doesn't exist or isn't legitimate. Also, if you're extremely fatigued, you're probably fatigued for a reason, and if it's not fixable with lifestyle and diet changes, that's something that needs to be medically addressed.

But all that being said, I do agree with DeBoer's argument particularly about invisible disabilities. My mental health is a problem for me because it makes my life extremely difficult to live at times, not because other people judge or stigmatize me. The average person doesn't look at me and go "that's a disabled person" and that's maybe not a privilege, but it's a state of being. I mean like, guys I dated for months have literally forgotten I take medication for mental health issues when I've taken it right in front of them.

But that doesn't mean I don't struggle at all; the fact I spend hours on the phone monthly to get my meds is testament to the fact I very much do. The thing is, I can't get out of bed without my medications and I wouldn't function at all without them, but with my meds, I can be an analyst at a consulting firm, live alone without anybody else taking care of my day-to-day needs, and have friendships and romantic relationships without any unique difficulties. And of course, I can SoulCycle and Peloton and do a lot of yoga haha. My struggles are fundamentally very different than someone who's wheelchair bound for life with MS or whatever, and we need to be able to discuss those differences.

But yeah, that article was interesting to me. I don't always agree with DeBoer but he's one of the few openly mentally ill writers who isn't like a "good" mentally ill person, if that makes sense. He doesn't pretend that his mental illness is anything short of a nuisance, albeit a severe one, and I tend to abide by that line of thought as well.