#i feel like its some tags missing....

[ophernelia]

@thatgirlyah: love me some him!

[gunsatthaphan]

~ Monthly BL Breakdown: April 2024 ~ 

🌷 Happy May!!! ☀️

Disclaimer: ALL shows can be streamed here or here, as well as on Youtube and other platforms. For more info on where to watch what, check out this post! 

New breakdowns are coming at the end of every month - feel free to add stuff! -> previous breakdowns

What came out this month? (green = seen/currently watching)

🌟 Love is Like a Cat - April 1st (South Korea / Thailand) 

🌟 We Are - April 3rd (Thailand) ✅

🌟 Memory in the Letter - April 6th (Thailand) 

🌟 Living With Him - April 11th (Japan) 

🌟 Gray Shelter - April 11th (South Korea) 

🌟 Beating Again - April 13th (Thailand)

🌟 Blue Boys - April 15th (South Korea)

🌟 At 25:00 in Alasaka - April 18th (Japan)

🌟 GMMTV2024 Part 2 (lineup event) - April 23rd (Thailand) ✅

🌟 Boys Be Brave - April 25th (South Korea) 

🌟 CHANGE2561 2024 lineup event - April 25th (Thailand) ✅

🌟 My Stand-In - April 26th (Thailand) ✅

🌟 City Boy Log Vol. 3 - April 30th (South Korea)

New series & movie announcements

🎥 The Fridge - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Flavor of Us (starring Benjamin B., Dome W. & others) - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Children's Day - Date TBA (Taiwan)

🎥 Blue Time - Date TBA (China, possibly censored)

🎥 Bad Guy My Boss - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Oriental Magician In The Ent. Circle - Date TBA (Taiwan)

🎥 Under the Oak Tree - Date TBA (Vietnam)

🎥 Invitation - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 The Love Matter - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 I Saw You in My Dream - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 I Wish You the Best - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Impression of Youth - Date TBA (Taiwan)

🎥 Meet You at the Blossom - Date TBA (Taiwan)

Other news from the BL world

❗️ The production company Studio WabiSabi announced that their actors Boun N., Prem W., Santa P., Sammy C., Yacht P. and Stamp P. have terminated their contracts and will no longer be artists under the company on April 15th. Shortly after, GMMTV announced the 6 of them as newly signed artists, along with the disclosure that BounPrem's upcoming BL Vampire Project is now being produced under GMMTV, who now also own all broadcasting rights; WabiSabi will function as a co-producer. New S. stated on Twitter that the decisions had been long in the making, as well as the fact that WabiSabi no longer functions as a management agency for actors and is now a mere production company. He also denied the rumors that the company is shutting down. Shortly after the transfer of the Wabi Sabi actors, actor Fluke Jeeratch (formerly Pongsakorn) joined GMMTV as well.

❗️ The Filipino BL Gameboys is getting a third season. An air date has not been confirmed.

❗️ P Ekkapop and Pan Jirachot, the lead actors from Kiseki Chapter 2, have announced a new project together. Details are unknown.

❗️ Actor Barcode Tinnasit has announced his departure from his agency Be On Cloud.

❗️ After some confusion, the Korean production company Studio X+U announced that their upcoming series Fragile - which was initially advertized as a Korean SKAM remake - is in fact not connected to the Norwegian web series and is instead a standalone series, which focuses on the life of a group of teenagers. According to ZUM News, there was supposed to be a Korean SKAM remake based on the Norwegian original, which was however cancelled due to unknown reasons. Fragile was created as a substitution.

❗️ GMMTV held their 2024 part 2 event on April 23rd. The following BL projects were announced:

The Heart Killers (starring FirstKhao & JoongDunk)

Perfect10 Liners (starring ForceBook, PerthChimon, JuniorMark)

Heart That Skips a Beat (starring EstWilliam)

Revamp (starring BounPrem, formerly known as Vampire Project)

Sweet Tooth, Good Dentist (starring MarkOhm)

The Ex-Morning (starring KristSingto)

❗️ The production company CHANGE2561 held their 2024 lineup event on April 25th. The following BL projects were announced:

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (starring SailubPon)

Goddess Bless You From Death (starring PavelPooh)

I’m The Most Beautiful Count (starring PingSupanut)

Pit Babe Season 2

Upcoming series & movies for May

👉🏻 You Made My Day (starring Tar A. and Bom T. from I Will Knock You) - May 3rd (Thailand)

👉🏻 Inverse Identity / Upside Down - Mary 3rd (China)

👉🏻 Wandee Goodday - May 4th (Thailand)

👉🏻 A Balloon's Landing - May 10th (Taiwan)

👉🏻 City of Stars: Special Episode - May 10th (Thailand, cinema release)

👉🏻 The Time of Fever (Unintentional Love Story spinoff) - May 15th (South Korea)

👉🏻 Blossom Campus - May 16th (South Korea)

👉🏻 OMG! Vampire - May 19th (Thailand)

👉🏻 Manji Reverse - May 24th (Japan)

👉🏻 My Biker 2 - May 28th (Thailand)

[plush-rabbit]

part two to the unnamed chapter from like a few days ago!! honestly, im suprised people liked it. like i didnt think it would get good stuff. like i dindt think it was bad, but im like the hype has died down anyways!! we meet the man, the myth, the devil himself!!

Word Count: 4.8K

You can hardly keep your eyes open. Even with the soft yellow glow of the light, it's far too bright for you. Shutting your eyes only brings you a bit of solace. You're somewhere soft, something light and feathery pulled over you, and you shift your shoulder blades to pull your wings closer to your body, and instead you sob, the pain sharp and unforgiving to your frail body.

Did you fall? No, maybe you slept on them wrong. You don’t have to think about stretching your wings, it was always second nature, as easy as blinking and as easy as moving your arm. You’d stretch your wings, and you’d ask Adam to help you preen your wings. You shift, and something feels empty, it feels light, lighter than air. You can’t remember your wings feeling so light, not unless you were flying. You’d hate to have messed up your wings over something as frivolous as falling.

Memories rush in, fragmented, only the beginning pieces clear enough for you to remember. Your eyes snap, and you’re met with harsh lighting. You see nothing but wood and stone, and a home that is not yours, and you groan into something soft under you. Moving your arm is painful, it feels bent and sore, and you reach for feathers, and find nothing. Your cries bury themselves into something plush, something that soaks your tears and drool and leaves only a patch behind. A hand pats softly against your arm, and you flinch. 

A voice shushes out to calm you. “It's okay. You're safe. I'm not here to hurt you,” they whisper. “Just relax, and try not to move. You still haven't recovered.”

Even if they speak softly to you, it's far too loud. The words echo in your head, and attempting to think about where you are and who you're with is making you nauseous. Or perhaps it's the sickly honeyed scent that is thick in the air. 

“‘S too sweet,” you slur, clawing at fabric beneath you. You regret speaking, the movement making your already sore jaw ache further, the joints pushing into your splitting skull. Your head pulses and your mouth is cotton filled, thick and impossible to speak. “Where?” You hope that someone will give you an answer to where you are. Or at least what you're on.

“Oh, thank you,” a voice chirps. 

“Don't think it was a compliment Bee,” a thick accent says in a hushed voice.

“Well I'm taking it as one,” the voice huffs.

“You're at my home,” the gentle voice is back. “You're in a spare bed. Just try to relax.” You can’t relax with all the sound, and when you try to tell him that, you only murmur, slurring letters together. “I know, I know.” He doesn’t, but you can’t correct him. “Just try not to move so much.” It's quiet again, a silence that stretches and fills the void with nothingness. The smell and the shuffling of bodies is the only indication that you aren’t alone, that you haven’t been left yet. 

“Luci, mate, you sure it's a good idea to have an angel laying around?” You hear the chime of bells, and you want everything to stop. 

“They aren't an angel,” a voice retorts. A hand places itself over your bicep, and squeezes you softly.

“Yeah, but like, it’s still a bit dangerous, isn’t it?” The voice is much more feminine, and you can hear a buzz when they speak, a low hum that doesn’t stop. “Having one of them just on your bed.”

“A spare bed,” the voice corrects. The bed dips beside you, your fingers tap against the mattress. “It was dangerous when we were first here,” snapping at the other, before sighing. “It’s been a long time since another angel has fallen.” 

“Lucifer, honey,” this voice is smoother than the others, and you wish they would all stop talking. “What’s the plan here?” Someone makes a noise of confusion. “They aren’t an angel anymore, if anything, they’re a walking target. We don’t even know if they’re an Exorcist.”

“Heaven hasn’t cast out an Angel in so long,” the voice says softly, a finger tracing shapes onto your arm. “And I highly doubt they’re an Exorcist. I can almost- I’m positive that they aren’t.”

An Exorcist. That’s what they think. Lute flashes in your mind, and Adam follows, weapons ready, and thinking hurts far too much. You groan, nuzzling into the pillow, trying to tune out the sounds. You need them to stop talking.

A hand pats at your arm, and soon you feel fingers tangle themselves into your hair. Fingertips ghost alongside the tender part of your scalp. The voice hushes you, lulling you back into a state of unconsciousness. “I’m sorry,” they whisper, “we must be too loud for you.”

“Lucifer, I know you’re still-” the person pauses- “upset-” they sound unsure of the word they’re using- “about the last few years, but you can’t take on a pity project.”

Lucifer. They keep saying- oh shit. You let out a whimper. You don’t know if you’re thankful for being found by him, or if it’s a curse to be found by him. He shushes you once more, massaging gently at your scalp. 

“Yeah-” the buzzing is louder this time- “you know, if you were lonely, you could have just said something. I got some cute little hounds that need loving homes, ya know? And uh, they’re cute-” they hiss that word and you furrow your brows- “and practically housebroken.”

“Luci, it’s not like they’re worth much. I mean look at ‘em. I don’t even think I remember seein’ them back up when we were there, so they gotta be new or somethin’.”

The hands still, fingertips pressing into the tenderness of your head. You let out a low sound, and give a soft nudge of your head for the person- Lucifer you presume, to let go. He apologizes, soothing over the spot where he’s touched. “It’s not- They aren’t a pity project. This isn’t that. Don’t you remember how bad it was. How painful it was to fall. At least we had each other. We were stronger than most angels.” You wish they would all stop talking. Especially when they refer to falling, you can't stand to hear it. “They have no one. This is- I just want them to feel safe.” His words come to a slow stand, and if it didn’t hurt to cry, you’d sob at the reminder of your punishment. “Their wings were ripped from them, they weren’t even allowed to heal.”

“Well it ain’t like Heaven is known for their leniency.”

“Listen, Lucifer, we’re just saying that you’ve been having a lot of big emotions recently, and maybe nursing someone back to health isn’t what you need right now.” Lucifer- at least you’re assuming- makes a noise in protest at what the other voice is stating. “What’s the long-term plan, hm? You fix them and then what? Do they live here? Do you kick them out? Take them over to Charlie?”

The room is still, the buzzing has quieted down to a hum, and you feel sleep grasp onto you once more. “You should all go.” The group protests immediately, voices overlapping one another, the buzzing higher, and scent of sweets and leather grows and irritates you further. Your head pounds, banging against your skull. You shift, pulling at the wounds, and a cry muffles itself into your pillow. “It’s okay, you’re okay” the voice says in a hushed voice, palms pressed flat against you, cooling your feverish body. “I’ll give you something right now to help the pain.” He clears his throat away from you. “I have to think about things. I’ll make sure to give you updates as they come along, but for now, I’ve taken up enough of your time.” He pauses. “You should return back to your rings.”

The buzzing quiets down, and footsteps shuffle out. It's a mess of steps, puttering and pattering along the floor, and the sound is [welcomed] by silence. A door clicks shut, and you hear no lock. 

Thinking if you're a prisoner or not is too much of a task right now. The strength of the saccharine scent has left with its owner, and instead now gently wafts in the air. Somewhere on the other side of the room, you hear a sigh.

“I’m sorry. We shouldn’t have been having that conversation with you in the room.” You let out a short huff in response. “It won’t happen again, okay? We must have been loud for you, huh?” With all the strength that you can muster, you give a short nod. “Let me go get you something for the pain, okay?” You feel a soft hand over your bicep, giving you a soft squeeze. The hand lingers with fingertips that kiss over your skin in feather light touches as they pull away. 

You drift between consciousness and unconsciousness, unable to fully sleep, but you don’t register anything that happens. All that you’re aware of is that someone is back in the room with you. He’s beside you, something plastic touching against your lips and the thick taste of medicine is bitter on your tongue. 

“I’m going to light some incense, okay?” You’d rather he give you water or anything else to wash the taste off. “You just let me know if it’s too much.” The scent is much calmer compared to the sickly sweet one from earlier. “I had Belphegor send me some sleeping aids. I believe it’s the only reason you’re able to get some actual rest.” Your lips mouth the words “thank you”. Something soft and warm covers you, and you feel yourself sink further into the mattress. “I don’t know how much of your power was stripped, or how much you even had to begin with. Mammon was right about that, you are a newer angel, you might not even be able to do much other than heal.” His voice is growing harder to understand, it’s fading into the back, and sleep pulls you further in. “However, I wouldn’t ask you to even attempt to heal yourself- not in this state,” he whispers.

“Taste bad,” is all that you can mutter. Your head pounds, and it feels like it’s swelling. Each word that you speak is laid thick and slurred together. Every syllable only brings you sickness and an ache in your skull.

“I know,” he sighs. “The medicine here doesn’t taste good, but there’s not much that I can do about it.” A cloth dabs at your mouth. “Hell is supposed to be a punishment after all,” he says with a humorless laugh. “I’m- I’m sure that Heaven’s medicine is still divine as ever,” they mumble with a heavy weight on the words. 

“Like nectar,” you speak softly, the memory of it faint on your tongue. 

Something brushes along your face, and you feel the pull of sleep. “Yeah,” he breathes out, “like nectar.”

-

Knocking on the door disrupts your sleep. Something gargles sounds on the other side of the door. In your mind, it’s too faint to make anything out. You hear the squeak of the door open, and through bleary eyes, you make out two tall figures. Again, they speak to you, and you nod back to sleep.

You feel the latex of gloves touch your body, knuckles the brush against the nape of your neck and hands that grab your arms, ready to still you as you tense. “We’re just changing your bandages.” You shake your head. “It’ll be quick, just stay still.” You’d rather deal with an infection than with how the doctors treat you. You recall a voice making an argument that you’re not welcomed here, that you're an angel in a land of sin. 

“No, no,” you mutter, tears staining your face and wetting the pillow. You feel the cold breeze on your back, whispering over your wounds. The stickiness of the gauze peels away from you, and you can smell the stench of it- metallic, rich and earthy. Something so sweet, and it disgusts you and the doctors. 

Their hands grip tighter onto you, holding you down and you yelp. “Stay still.” You recall many moons ago how Lute told you something similar. How her words were laced with sorrow and false bravado. These doctors, these demons, spit the words at you, and hold you down. 

Your hands claw at the mattress, your screams echoing against the wall, bouncing and ringing in your ears. Light blinds you immediately as your eyes flash open, and your head is head, pushed down onto the mattress, as curses are spit onto you. You’re in Hell. Your teeth find themselves tearing into the pillow, drool pooling into a puddle and tears slipping down.

“Just,” they grunt, and press firmly down on your back, “stay still.” You gasp for breath, kicking and digging your knees into the bed. “Please,” they beg, and you fall, your body limp and heavy on the bed. 

As quick as it started, it ends just as quick. You’re left sobbing, gasping for breath, and despite the pain, and tearing open the wound, you hug yourself, your nails scratching against the cloth. They’ve placed it far too tight for you. 

-

Only a few weeks pass when you’re finally cognitive. When your head isn’t splitting at every noise, and you can move somewhat without risking any pain or even your fear of opening the wounds back open. You stay as still as possible, and try not to do any sudden movement that would stretch your back. Lucifer has attempted to reassure you that you’re fine now, that combined with Hell’s magic and his own blessing, you should be fit to move around. Of course, you will be sore, that can only go away with time. 

“You’ll be left with scars. That can’t be helped,” he told you, his eyes focused on how your hands fist the blanket, “but you’ll be okay.” He gives you a tender smile, and you cling to it in the night.

Once you were in a proper headspace, you knew you shouldn’t have been surprised to know that it was him taking care of you. From what you can faintly recall in one of the many conversations that he’s had in the room as you recovered, he knows what it’s like to be cast out. 

However, you are surprised at how caring and patient he is. That despite you being able to do most things on your own without stumbling, he is still beside you, keeping you company and comforting you when he has to change the bandages. He hardly lets anyone else do it after you complained about doctors accidentally wrapping the bandages too tight. His gentleness is a mask for his pity, and he can never meet your eyes without looking away. 

-

You’re laid on your stomach, and your only entertainment is wondering what could be inside the bedside drawers. While moving does not cause as much discomfort as it once did, you don’t risk stretching. You sit straight, and you look at the wall, and dare not to stretch your arms. Pillows have been fluffed and placed to create a soft barrier between you and the headboard of the bed. Knuckles rap against the door in a rhythm, and you stare at the wall in front of you. You wait for a second, and with a breath, you allow for the person to enter. 

“Hello,” Lucifer calls. “I’ve brought you some fruit. I’m sure that you must have been feeling peckish.” You give no reply. “I uh- I also brought some books.” The bowl of fruit is balanced above the small stack of books. “I was thinking that I’ll get you a television or something soon. But maybe some literature would be good for you.” He rests the tower on the dresser, and grabs the bowl between his hands. 

You should reply to him. You should tell him thank you- not just for the books and the bowl of fruit, but for housing you, for caring for you. But you cannot. Not when he’s a constant reminder of where you are. 

“I was wondering if there was any type of genre that you might like.” He sounds hopeful, wanting to continue a conversation with the husk in front of him. “It would be no trouble to get them to you.” 

His smile is stretched thin, and it looks painful. All of this is painful. Your eyes flitter over to the fruit bowl, and you wonder how you’d feed yourself when stretching your arms still pulls at the scars. 

“Would you like some?” He leans towards you, and you have the mental image of being some hurt bird being nursed back to health. “I had some demons go over to Earth and get some for you. I thought you’d prefer this over the food that we have here. Since you aren’t accustomed to Hell’s food, yet.” You stay silent, and after a moment he sighs. His heels click against the floor, and the bowl is placed on your lap. “You know,” he starts, “it would help if you talked. I know what you’re going through, and you can’t- you shouldn’t isolate yourself.” When you refuse to answer, he sighs. “Well, if you need something, just let me know.”

Despite not wanting to be here, of not having any need to want to continue your existence, you have grown a strong dislike of being alone in this room. You have no idea if he’s isolating for your own safety, or for some other nefarious reason. He clasps the door knob around his hand, and twists it. You wet your lips, and you need someone to talk to. 

“Lucifer?” You croak out, and you surprise yourself with your voice. You hadn’t heard it in so long, past the screaming and the tears. He turns to you, taking a step closer, and his hand returns the door knob to its closed position. “Can you stay?” You feel sick looking at the fruit. “Please?”

With a gentle smile, he nods his head. “Of course.” He grabs a chain from the corner of the room and carries it to sit beside you. It’s a deep wooden color, intricate designs carved into the legs of the chair, and a deep red cushion that is stitched into the seat and the back. 

The silence between the two of you is broken by the crunch of the fruit. You pierce a grape with the silver tines of the fork, and your body aches with the movement to bring it up to your mouth. The sweet juice does nothing to aide in your brooding and the awkward silence. 

He’s right, and you know that. You have to try. He’s the only contact that you have. Adam always hated how you’d hide your emotions, how you rather shut the world off, and at least that hasn’t changed since your falling. You need to talk to him. You can see the attempt that Lucifer has been making in order to keep you happy, to make your time here just a bit more bearable. You suck in your lower lip, and let your tongue brush over where your teeth have grazed.

“I was promised a trial,” you start. His eyes are on you, and you see him fiddle with his tie. “They promised it would have been fair.” You frown, and shake your head, an ache heavy in your chest. “I was so hopeful that it would have been.” The fruit is bitter on your tongue and you force yourself to swallow it.

After a moment’s silence, he speaks. “Who would have been the judge?”

The apple is pierced between your teeth, the skin ripping from the flesh of the apple. It was cute with care, no hint of the core tarnishing the fruit, ripe and perfect, only to be mauled by your teeth. “Father.” You swallow the fruit. “Or perhaps one of the Virtues.” Oranges are peeled, torn apart from the other slices, the piths of white removed. “I was worried that I would have fallen, even before I was given my verdict. My-” you look at Lucifer, and you remember who he has stolen- “I feared that I would have fallen, because I didn't matter. No one questions Heaven’s beliefs, not since-” you glance at him, and he turns his head- “I was sure I would have met the same fate.” The sweetness of the strawberries make your jaw tingle and ache. “And I did.”

“I’m sorry.” You hold the fork tightly, the silver pressing into the flesh of your palms. “The fear you had must have been,” he pauses, “intense.”

There is no one better who understands, other than Lucifer himself. You nod, and let the fork ding against the glass of the bowl. “I was good. I did what was needed of me, I didn’t dare speak out of turn.” You think of how Adam would run his mouth, how every other word would be a curse, would be of anything lewd. “Perhaps I wasn’t as good as I thought I was. Not if a question were enough to have me expelled from Heaven.” 

A gloved hand reaches, and falls just before your thigh. A gold band hugs at his finger, and you’re surprised to have yet seen his wife. Feeling your stare, he turns his hand, and lets the other fingers hide the symbol of matrimony. 

“Sometimes, that’s all it takes,” he says quietly, his tone soft, and wistful. “But, if it makes you feel any better, Hell has some redeeming qualities. It’s not all pain and suffering.” You look at him, and he gives you a smile. “We have an amusement park. There’s a uh-” he scratches the back of his neck, his gaze pointed elsewhere and checks flushing- “ride modeled after me.”

The corners of your lips turn, and you narrow your eyes at him. “After you?” You ask, an elfish tinge laced into your words.

“Shaped like my head.” A finger makes a circle in front of his face.

You scoff out a laugh, and the sound surprises you. You attempt to hide the smile, but when the corners still turn upwards, you look at your lap. “You are the Avatar of Pride after all,” you tell him, the lilt faint on your words.

“It’s actually very impressive,” he points out. “A whole ride dedicated to my likeness.”

“The line for it must be awful.” The juice of the fruit is thin on your tongue. “Heaven has zoos. There’s an area where you get to feed the birds out of the palm of your hand.” You push the fork upwards with the knuckle of your index. “They hardly ever peck your palm, but when they do, we call them kisses from one of Father’s creations.”

He snorts, and shakes his head. His smile is soft, and there's a lingering sadness to it before it falls. “Down in the Wrath ring, there are livestock shows where you’ll find horse bucking and catching the flamed greased pig.” You give him a look, and he smiles. “It’s not as nice as the zoo, I’m sure, but it’s just as entertaining.” He leans back on his chair. “Sometimes I would take my daughter.”

“Your daughter?” You knew of his wife, but you hadn’t realized that they had a child. “I didn’t know you had a daughter.”

He winces, and nods sheepishly. “Charlie,” he tells you her name. “I think you’d like her- she’s peppy.” He gives you a tense smile, and looks away. “We don’t talk as much as we used to.”

You frown. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

He shakes his head, and lets out a sigh. He sits straighter, and pulls his shoulders back. “How are the bandages?” You roll your ankles, unsure what to make of the sudden shift in conversation. “They’re not too tight are they?” It’s not your place to pry, and you don’t want to make him uncomfortable when he’s the one caring for you.

“No, Lucifer,” you answer. “They’re fine. Thank you.”

He nods, and you can tell he’s grown uncomfortable now. You don’t blame him. “Of course. I wanted to make sure that you were comfortable. As much as possible.” 

A silence befalls between the two of you. You bite into the fruit, and force yourself to swallow it. The nectar is sweet and makes your jaw ache. Beside you, Lucifer clears his throat, and you turn to him.He looks away, his eyes trained on the walls.

“If I may ask, I- Well you see, you know my name-” he looks at you again, and you tap your nails against the glass- “and I don’t know yours.” Your eyes widen, and you try to think back on when you might have whispered your name to him, but you can’t recall it. “I just- I was thinking since you’re here, and I’ve changed your bandages, I thought, that I should be calling you by your name.”

“My name?” You whisper, and you feel silly for keeping it close to you. For just a fraction of a second, for some far away thought to be held, that you didn’t want to share the last thing that ties you to Heaven.

“If only that’s okay. If not, we can come up with a nickname or something.”

You shake your head. You’ve kept your name to yourself, and you wonder if your pain-induced haze, if he’s ever asked you for it. You stretch your lips, and wet your tongue. “Did you ever ask for it,” you hold the words on your tongue, and they are heavy like wine, “when I was in and out?”

“Yes,” he confesses. “You wouldn’t answer.”

A name given by Heaven; whispered to you gently in the arms of Father, as sunlight shined down upon you and warmth surrounded you in your creation. It’s silly, and childish to cling to it, to hold onto it like a child holds onto their blanket, but it’s all that you have left. Everything else was stripped from you, taken and tossed aside, and you wonder if your name even holds any significance back home. 

You turn to Lucifer, and your name is heavy on your tongue, bitter like wine, and it’s your name, fitting you like a glove that will fit no other. 

Lucifer repeats your name, whispering it under his breath, tasting it between his canines and tongue, and you watch him. Chills run down your spine, and the feeling is not unpleasant. He catches your eyes, and his cheeks flush, the red spots darkening, under your gaze. He calls your name once more, louder and clearer, want held between the vowels, as if to savor your name, to savor what you’ve given to him. 

You nod, your chest aflame, as if you’ve done something scandalous. You can’t trust your voice, not when he's looking at you. Your knuckles feel as if it’s on pins, tingling and having you scratch against the bowl. 

He glances at your lap. “Are you done?” 

“Yes,” you breathe out rather quickly. 

He reaches for the bowl, grabbing it by the rim and stands from his chair. You watch in silence as he pushes the chair back, letting it block one of the drawers from the nightstand. The bowl clinks against the mahogany of the dresser, and he grabs the books, flush against his chest. 

“I hadn’t meant to leave the books so far from you,” he says, placing them on the nightstand. “They’ll be closer within your reach.” You nod, and peek over, reading the title of the first book. “I’ll be back in a few hours, if you need anything, feel free to call out. I’ll make sure to hear it.”

He walks away, his heels clicking against the floor, and you don’t want to be alone anymore. “Lucifer,” you call out, fisting the blankets in your hand. He turns around, pressing the bowl against his body, his hand wrapped tight around the doorknob, already opening it and stepping into the rest of his domain. You swallow nothing, and try not to think of anything other than gratitude.  “Thank you for everything,” you tell him, sending him a thinned smile. 

“Of course,” he calls your name in a sweet tone. “Whatever you need, just let me know.”

The door closes shut, and you let out a breath. Your hands fist at your shirt, grasping and you bite the inner corners of your lips, feeling the soft flesh of it be pierced by your teeth. It’s been far too long since you’ve had a gentle hand, since you’ve had someone be gentle with you. A hand reaches out and scratches along your bicep, pulling the skin and leaving soft arches across. 

You hadn’t realized how much you would miss Adam.

[recursivetransformarray]

[ganondoodle]

been wondering so im making a poll

added that i mean when its either neutral, like an extra explanation when soemthing wasnt clear or you asked a question in the tags, or in a positive way, like an observation you made im happy about or an idea (i wouldnt even consider saying someones name when i mean it negatively- even then i rarely talk about these things bc i usually just ignore it unless its something that gets to me personally/is so bad it needs to be mentioned)

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

I truly wish I had any artistic talent just so I could lowkey redo all dramione fanart with Astoria because oh my god the ratio of dramione to drastoria fan content is so heartwrenchingly depressing

[fleshdyke]

[wibblewomble]

Ranking Ajins by Death Toll

Oh but count them I did.

Have you ever wanted a comprehensive list of Ajin deaths? Well, here is one anyways!

The list is based on manga events as I actually haven't seen the anime 😬

The ranking only includes Ajins (AKA revivable characters) because otherwise the list would be…even longer than it is and 90% of it would be no-name characters. They also MUST make an appearance (so ruling out mentioned Ajins, like the Chinese Ajin with 2,000+ deaths).

Without further ado, AJIN CHARACTERS RANKED FROM MOST TO LEAST DEATHS!

...under the cut (I’m sorry, it is very long)...

🚨CW for Ajin typical shenanigans (death, mutilation, suicide, the like)🚨

Ranking by onscreen/shown deaths

Satou (44 deaths)

Kei Nagai (35 deaths)

Kou Nakano (15 deaths)

Koji Tanaka (9 deaths) TIE

Izumi Shimomura (9 deaths) TIE

Takahashi (6 deaths)

Masumi Okuyama (4 deaths)

Shinya Nakamura (2 deaths)

Reiji Akiyama (firefighter) (1 death) TIE

Himeko Tachibana (diet member passing the Ajin bill) (1 death) TIE

Satou detractor (with the cross-body bag) (1 death) TIE

Satou collaborator (with the two IBMs) (1 death) TIE

Ranking by estimations

Koji Tanaka (5,892 deaths)

Satou (692 deaths)

Kei Nagai (347 deaths)

Kou Nakano (215 deaths)

Izumi Shimomura (9 deaths)

Takahashi (7 deaths)

Masumi Okuyama (5 deaths)

Shinya Nakamura (2 deaths)TIE

Reiji Akiyama (firefighter) (2 deaths) TIE

Satou detractor (with the cross-body bag) (2 deaths) TIE

Satou collaborator (with the two IBMs) (2 deaths) TIE

Himeko Tachibana (diet member passing the Ajin bill) (1 death)

Everyone gets +1 to account for their first death in the estimation rankings (except Satou, Kei, Kou, Izumi, Shinya, and Ms. Tachibana because their first deaths were shown and already counted in the initial ranking)

Ajin’s with too little information to estimate (at least one death)

Takeshi Kotobuki

Jun Suzuki

Dr. Smith

Jim

Satou detractor (with the glasses)

Satou collaborator (with the glasses)

✨Honorable mention✨

Kai (by technicality)

Let’s go into some more detail about each death and estimation calculations.

Deaths are listed chronologically by manga appearance. “S” means it was self-inflicted with intention. They have to be the ones to cause the fatal blow (aside from one exception, being Izumi throwing herself in front of a car). Assisted suicide, like Tanaka stabbing Satou as a demonstration, does not count as self-inflicted.

Koji Tanaka

Gunshot to head (chpt 1)

Crushed by hydraulic press (chpt 2)

Stabbed with rods (chpt 3)

Neurological experiments (assumed) (chpt 3)

Dismemberment by lab researchers (assumed) (chpt 3)

Collision trauma (used as a crash test dummy) (chpt 14)

Gunshot to head by Gen (chpt 33)

Gunshot to head by Satou (chpt 37)

Assumed reset (shoulder wound from Satou is gone) (chpt 43) S

+1 for first death (implied in chpt 13).

+1 assumed reset after being accidentally shot by Satou in chapter 41. His shoulder wound is gone and he (or the rest of the gang for that matter) probably wouldn’t wait for it to heal.

+1 assumed reset at some point after chapter 56. His leg wound—where he got stabbed by the minister's goons—disappears. Could have been forgotten about, could be he’s still walking around with it, but I think they would want to be in top shape when fighting Satou, so I’m counting it as a reset.

+5,880 for deaths while in captivity. Some were already included, but it pales in comparison to the total count. Tanaka was probably subject to experiments everyday. Let’s assume 3 deaths per hour (accounting for setup time and various death methods), 8 hours in a working day, and 245 working days in a year (Japanese work duration from Google). Which means in 10 years that’s 5,880 deaths. This is a very VERY general approximation, not taking into account probable overtime, lengthier experiments resulting in slower deaths, or extremely fast causes of death like getting shot. Regardless, with 10 years of captivity, Tanaka’s death toll is certainly the highest.

Tanaka’s total estimated deaths: 9 + 5,883 = 5,892

1 suicide, 2 estimated suicides

Satou

Stabbed by Tanaka (chpt 6)

Gunshot to head (chpt 9) S

Shot multiple times by Kei (chpt 10)

Stabbed and tossed around by Kei's IBM (chpt 11)

Shot by Tanaka (accidentally) (chpt 15)

Plane crash (chpt 19) S

Shot by SAT (chpt 20)

Shot by SAT (chpt 20)

Shot by SAT (chpt 20)

Shot by SAT (chpt 20)

Shot by SAT (chpt 20)

Shot by SAT (chpt 20)

Shot by SAT (chpt 21)

Shot by SAT (chpt 21)

Shot by SAT (chpt 21)

Shotgun to the chest (chpt 21) S

Diced by wood-chipper (chpt 35) S

Caught in explosion (chpt 36) S

Gunshot to head (chpt38) S

Gunshot to head by Kuroki (chpt 38)

Gunshot to head by Kuroki and Suzumura (chpt 38)

Gunshot to head by Kuroki and Suzumura (chpt 38)

Gunshot to head (chpt 38) S

Gunshot to head (chpt 40) S

Impaled by own IBM (chpt 40) S

Gunshot to head (after severing arm) (chpt 42) S

Jumped off Forge Safety building (chpt 42) S

Gunshot to head by gang members (chpt 47) FIRST DEATH

Decapitation by Takahashi's IBM (chpt 52)

Gunshot to head (assumed) (chpt 54) S

Shot by soldiers (chpt 54)

Shot by soldiers (chpt 54)

Gunshot to head (chpt 54) S

Blown up by C4 (chpt 54) S

Shot by soldiers (after intended suicide detonation) (chpt 55)

Gunshot to head (chpt 57) S

Bomb vest and plance crash (chpt 60) S

Bomb vest and plance crash (chpt 61) S

Bomb vest and plance crash (assumed, offscreen) (chpt 62) S

Bomb vest and plance crash (chpt 65) S

Bomb vest and plance crash (assumed, offscreen) (chpt 65) S

Bomb vest (chpt 71) S

Gunshot to head (after severing arm, assumed) (chpt 71) S

Head trauma/snapped neck from falling from heli after being shot by Manabe (chpt 76)

+40 for deaths from organ harvesting. Satou trades 10 livers, 10 kidneys, and 10 hearts for guns in chapter 8 so that’s at least 10 deaths. I don't think he would ask Tanaka to help given him being freshly released from lab experiments. Nekozawa calls him “a valued client”, it’s implied he’s done this before. Satou needed guns to save Tanaka, but aside from that we don’t know how many times he’s done this. Let’s just add another 30 deaths on top of the 10.

+540 for deaths from repeat killings by SAT. I imagine the SAT encounter until Satou’s recovery was quite fast and lasted at most 5 minutes. Killing Satou at a rate of 2 shots per second means 600 deaths in 5 minutes. Let’s subtract 60 (half a minute of deaths) to account for moments when SAT was distracted by Takahashi’s sniping.

+15 for deaths from fighting with SAT offscreen. Satou is a power house. He takes out at least 5 people for every death of his own. Slapping on an estimated extra 15 deaths from this fight since he was still tuckered out by the end.

+3 for deaths from fighting gang members (chapter 47). Though unarmed against a group of 100+ men, Satou would probably make quick work of these guys since they seem mostly untrained. Slapping on an estimated extra 3 deaths.

+50 for deaths from fighting Iruma Air Base soldiers (chapter 55-57). I’ve had enough of this dude. Let’s just add 50 more for his fight against the army base soldiers since they are highly trained, killing him without restraint, and there are a lot of them. Satou is also visibly weary by the end of it.

Satou total estimated deaths: 44 + 648 = 693

22 suicides, at least 40 estimated suicides

Kei Nagai

Hit by a truck (severed in half yikes) (chpt 1)

Strangled (chpt 2)

Slit throat (chpt 3) S

Bike crash (chpt 6) S

Stab to chest (after torture and dismemberment) (chpt 7)

Dismemberment by lab researchers (assumed) (chpt 8)

Drowned (chpt 12)

Stabbed in the throat (chpt 17) S

Shotgun to the chest (chpt 22)

Assumed reset (head wound from car crash is gone) (chpt 22) S

Shot by Satou via attack helicopter (dream sequence, yeah buckos i'm counting these) (chpt 31)

Assumed reset (hand wound is gone) (chpt  33) S

Caught in explosion caused by Satou (chpt 36)

Gunshot to head by Kou (chpt 39)

Gunshot to head (chpt 39) S

Gunshot to head by Satou (chpt 40)

Gunshot to head by Hirasawa (chpt 41)

Gunshot to head by Hirasawa/Kou (after severing both arms) (chpt 42)

Gunshot to head by Hirasawa (chpt 42)

Fell off Forge Safety building (after being shot) (chpt 43)

Hypoxia (chpt 49) FIRST DEATH

Slit throat (after biting off fingers) (chpt 57) S

Slit throat (after biting off fingers) (chpt 57) S

Slit throat (after biting off fingers) (chpt 57) S

Slit throat (after biting off fingers) (chpt 57) S

Slit throat (after biting off fingers) (chpt 57) S

Slit throat (assumed, to heal fingers) (chpt 57) S

Gunshot to head (after poped eardrums) (chpt 60) S

Gunshot to head by Anti-Demis (chpt 61)

Plane crash and explosion caused by Satou (chpt 70)

Gunshot to head by Satou (chpt 72)

Impaled by own hostile IBM (chpt 72)

Gunshot to head (chpt 77) S

Gunshot to head (missing an arm and impaled on a rod) (chpt  78) S

HIT BY A TRUCK LMAO DUMBASS (chpt 83)

+240 for deaths while in captivity. Using the same metrics as Tanaka, in 10 days Kei died 240 times. Again, this is a very general approximation.

+72 for drowning deaths while adrift for a week (chapter 14). The stages of drowning take between 10-12 minutes. But let's be generous and say Kei either lucked out with calmer waters or manages to stay afloat for longer. So he drowns at a rate of 1 death per hour. Let’s also say Kei was confused and his estimation of being adrift for a week was off (downing consecutively will do that to a man), and he was only in the water for 3 days. I also don’t think he would be floating around for a week, especially if he didn’t make it out of Tokyo Bay.

Kei total estimated deaths: 35 + 312 = 347

15 suicides

Kou Nakano

Jumped out a window (chpt 15) S

Electrocution (chpt 16) S

Bled out (after falling from aparment building, stabbed in the stomach, run over by Tosaki) (chpt 16) S...ish...I’m counting as 0.5

Impaled by Kei's IBM (chpt 16)

Jumped off a cliff (chpt 17) S

Assumed reset (leg wounds from Kei are gone) (chpt 17)

Impaled by Kei's IBM (chpt 25)

Hanging (chpt 26) S

Shot by Satou via attack helicopter (dream sequence) (chpt 31)

Caught in explosion caused by Satou (chpt 36)

Impaled by Tanaka's IBM (chpt 37)

Gunshot to head by Kei (chpt 39)

Gunshot to head by Kei/Hirasawa (assumed) (chpt 41)

Fell off Forge Safety building (semi-accidental) (chpt 42) S, another 0.5

Head trauma (could also be eventual starvation/dehydration) (chpt 43) FIRST DEATH

+200 for deaths from hanging. We are doing a lot of assuming, so let’s continue that trend. Let’s say Kou would only hang himself for 5 hours a day after training and before bed. Let’s also say they had approximately two weeks of training. To account for extra training, rest time, and Kou generally not feeling up for dying on repeat, we’ll assume out of the two weeks, Kou only used 10 days. Where am I getting these numbers? My gut tells me so (source: trust me bro).

Short drop hanging takes 10-20 minutes for complete brain death. Let's take the middle road and say 15 minutes. So on average, 4 deaths per hour. 4 x 5 x 10 = 200 deaths.

Kou total estimated deaths: 15 + 200 = 215

5 suicides, 200 estimated suicides

Kou and Satou were really hard to estimate for, but we powered through lads.

Izumi Shimomura

Impaled by Tanaka's IBM (chpt 4)

Head trauma (chpt 27)

Untreated illness/STD (chpt 27) FIRST DEATH

Fell off a building with Satou's IBM (dream sequence) (chpt 31)

Bled out (after losing an arm fighting Tanaka) (chpt 39)

Gunshot to head by Tosaki (assumed) (chpt 41)

Hit by car (chpt 56) S

Shot in the throat (chpt 56)

Gunshot to head by Satou (chpt 78)

I’m assuming Izumi didn’t die after Tosaki hired her since she wasn’t being researched nor was it likely she needed to die for Tosaki as a bodyguard.

Izumi total estimated deaths: 9

1 suicide

Takahashi

Sniper shot to the head (chpt 21)

Sniper shot to the head (chpt 21)

Sniper shot to the head (chpt 21)

Gunshot to head by Gen (chpt 33)

Assumed reset (shot by Satou) (chpt 37)

Gunshot to head by Anti-Demis (chpt 66)

Takahashi total estimated deaths: 6 + 1 = 7

Masumi Okuyama

Carbon dioxide poisoning (chpt 32) S

Electrocution (chpt 32) S

Assumed reset (shot by Satou) (chpt 37)

Improvised explosive device (chpt 58) S

Okuyama total estimated deaths: 4 + 1 = 5

3 suicides

Shinya Nakamura

Motorcycle crash (accidental beheading) (chpt 9.5) FIRST DEATH

Gunshot to head (chpt 9.5)

Shinya total estimated deaths: 2

Reiji Akiyama

Bled out (after being harpooned and fighting Tanaka's IBM) (chpt 15)

Akiyama total estimated deaths: 1 + 1 = 2

Satou detractor (with the cross-body bag)

Bled out (shot in spleen by Tanaka) (chpt 15)

Total estimated deaths: 1 + 1 = 2

Satou collaborator (with the two IBMs)

Sliced in half after pushed off building by Izumi (chpt 63)

Total estimated deaths: 1 + 1 = 2

Himeko Tachibana

Satou's plane crash (chpt 65) FIRST DEATH

Total estimated deaths: 1

Kai

Gunshot through throat by Satou (chpt 72)

Total estimated deaths: 1

[best-fnaf-song-competition]

Oh you KNOW this playlist is full of bangers when I've got 4-5 of them stuck in my head at once

[hiddenbeks]

hot problematic women in ur area. i mean. tagged by @katsigian to make some ocs in this picrew! thank youuu this was so fun 💜

top row: andrale (hero of ferelden), frida (champion of kirkwall), celyn (inquisitor)

middle row: sura (watcher of caed nua, pathetic wet cat) and vivinna (washed-up musician, hopeless romantic)

bottom row: isabeau (criminal), liah (war criminal), vigdis (newest oc on the block, dragonborn and possibly a werewolf idk)

tagging @pinkfey @tethris @consulaaris @hibernationsuit @yrlietlanaevyss @gwynbleidd as always no pressure to do this tho!

[luna7822]

congradulations assholes

u all finally got that stupid ass victory that u ppl so lovingly beg for absolutely no reason other than just to find more petty excuses to boost ur ego and outright splat any other ppl from different teams on site as if any of u dont know how to play like fair for once in ur pathetic fucking life and admittingly i do feel bad for shiver too since she actually had smth that i could agree with for once (vanilla aside) and that u assholes pretty much decided to be absolute jerks throughout the whole damn thing all cuz im on her team as if splatfests and final/seasonalfests in general were never meant to be taken srsly in the first place and overall to any stupid ass stans/spawn campers out there i wish u all a very happy go fuck urself for basically never giving me a fair fucking chance for once whatsoever and for honestly being the worst fucking idol f**base to ever exist in general so yeah

[humanbean145]

Ok, so I just finished DR last night and- I expected that people were overstating their reactions a little but I swear that sometimes it literally had me in a mess ball on the floor. Yall were right by saying this isn't even a silly little kids show anymore, but in some of the best ways. The writers and voice actors really exceeded our expectations this time. My heart was pretty much crushed, melted, and destroyed in every way while watching because it was just that amazing. I don't know if I'll be ready nor ok when the next part comes around.

[jorvikzelda]

I started reading Lord of the Rings (bought Fellowship of the Ring like… last spring but never got around to starting) and I’d just like to say. Holy fuck what a slow book. You mean to tell me I’m over a hundred pages in and this man is only just leaving the Shire? Sign me up for MORE I love this shit. Tolkien said “I will take exactly as much time as I want to describe things and you will like it”. AND I DO

[thedeafprophet]

The thing with body horror and gorey visuals is they usually don't bother me as much so long as I'm warned ahead of time and chose to see them. If I've mentally prepared to sit down to watch a movie I know has grotesque imagery, or I click past a filter tag, I know what I'm getting into and I'm prepared for that

It's just when I'm casually scrolling on things or clicking into a game I'd had no prior expectation with this content that it can be upsetting.

[vaugarde]

im bored rn, here's what i'd have liked ash's gen 8 team to look like

[waterfallofspace]

Hello! I see you’re pretty new to tumblr, so I hope it’s okay to reach out and ask. I’m thinking about making a sneeze blog too but really nervous. In the mean time though I’ve gotten into some of the popular fandoms like J/J/K and Tri/gun! If you have the time and wouldn’t mind, do you think you could also recommend some other blogs like yours?

Have a nice day!

Hi~! Of course that's okay, I'd be happy to help!!

For people who write J/JK and T/rigun, there's a few that spring to mind, here's some of my friends/favourites!! (I'll also add a couple others who are just overflowing with talent, tags under the cut!

(Hope y'all don't mind the tag <33)

@whispsofsmokee (amazing t/rigun fics) @snzdreams (some of the best j/jk content i've EVER read!) @onetrickponi (not J/JK or T/rigun, but poni is INCREDIBLY talented, like insane talent. you won't be disappointed with her stuff, even if you don't know the fandom~~ One of the blogs I'd consider a DEITY on here truly.) @goodlucksnez (Same as above fandom wise, but AMAZING wavs. incredible talent from Vic!!) @ezynse (t/rigun and other stuff, great content!!) @bestwhumpist (uh?? the talent dripping?? from this blog?? insane. some of the best fics i've ever read full stop, t/rigun included~~ if ur reading this hi ily ur amazing~) @gemsden (has some GREAT j/jk content!) @ithadtobesneezing (not the ones mentioned, but great fics!! so much talent) @themiseryandcompany (few j/jk fics I believe, also just good content!!) @lycheeehehe (not posting fics, but INCREDIBLE headcanons, and just reblogs a LOT of j/jk and t/rigun content!!) @6pmsoup (hasn't posted a lot, but the art skills are insane, and there's a REAL cute j/jk piece that i adore~) Aaaand hopefully from them you can find even more that I'm either forgetting or haven't even found yet!! These guys are also all INCREDIBLY sweet. I've made some amazing friends~ Being nervous is totally understandable~ I made this blog but didn't interact with ANYONE for like a year, but every person I've interacted with has been so kind and welcoming!! I'm still a little anxious wreck about reaching out, but so many people (myself included!!) love to talk and gush about our interests~~ Thank you for the ask, I hope this is helpful~!! Have a nice day as well :D