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#i feel like that might end up being my main tag for things like this. bc its the word i end up clinging to for like. comfort. like its all
waywardsalt · 1 month
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my recording of the mohg fight, very glad to say that his fight is extremely fun :)
#ohhh this took ages to finally work in this post lol. anyways mohg fight. ridiculously fun.#elden ring#mohg#mohg lord of blood#yeah ill put this in main tags. full mohg fight. for the mohg enjoyers ig i really liked this fight#lots of like. particles being flung around but it never felt like bullshit so it was a fun while to fight him#my post#the 'jump for joy' in the phase change was planned while the 'my thanks' at the end wasnt which is why i do pull up the menu for that one#i left him alone for the nihil as a self-imposed 'gay penalty' bc i didnt want to just like. shred him during it yknow#he can have his theatrics for his healing and phase transition. a bit of respect with the 'my thanks' yknow i like him + the dynasty bit#hes got a funny little buddy in varre and a nice little grinding spot among all the blood soaked atrocities#ive heard ansbach is neat too. n ive been using bloody slash since the moment i got it so in a way ive been chilling with lord of blood#related stuff for a p long time. tbh its neat how varre is the first proper person you meet while mohg is arguably the most hidden demigod#dont think i have any bonus commentary with this one besides i got rlly fucking lucky later in this. yknow the bit lmao#always through him being extra vulnerable to bleed was funny but he apparently gets the lord of blood's exultation buff on bleed procs#so thats a rlly neat thing i found out- i ended up using that talisman for the fight (you can see it under the stamina bar a few times)#it is funny to me that his in-battle dialogue subtitles are all lowercase and lack punctuation beyond accent markings#anyways beyond the final boss the only boss i have left is malenia which should be. fucking fun. i'll get vids of that one for sure#i might get my first attempt at her bc that might be a fun comparison point when i manage to beat her#'my recording of the mohg fight' feels very like. professional. i just got it captured on ps4. it was a random attempt that was successful
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I AM. CONFUSED.
#abt to vent in the tags ignore or message if you want idc#throughout the day i had been debating whether or not i had a crush on these two different people in my life#(that was yesterday)#and then. last night. i had dreamt that i wanted to tell one of them i had the crush and it was like The Plot but i never got to bc it ended#and then immediately after i had another dream where i had a boyfriend (first crush is not a boy but other one is)#except the boyfriend was not the boy i thought i had a crush on it was just some random dude#which NONE OF THIS NARROWS ANYTHING DOWN#and to make things worse. neither of these crushes are the person who i have gone on two dates with#so i feel like i may need to do some light ghosting#i think my main issue between the two crushes is this.#with the first one i have the feelings to a degree but i can’t imagine actually doing any relationship things w them#esp because we’re already best friends so like i’m good with just cuddling as friends that’s chill with me i don’t think i’m a kisser anyway#but with the other one. i have only a small amount of feelings but can picture doing the relationship things with him#but i don’t know him as well so it could be totally way off from what i think it would be like#plus there is also the issue of#even if i do have feelings for the first crush i can’t do anything about it because we’re best friends and she doesn’t see me like that#in addition to the fact that there cannot be two relationships within our five person friend group and she is emotionally unavailable#meanwhile i could fully ask out the other dude no hesitation but i might end up feeling guilty if i realize i don’t actually have feelings#and i cannot have thought i liked a person then asked them out then broke it off a week later bc i lost feelings for the third time in a row#idk i’m just really confused and don’t know what to do and am mad at myself for not being able to recognize my own emotions#this is STUPID. anyways#mari is irrelevant
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5sospenguinqueen · 4 months
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Bedtime Stories Pt 2 | Daniel Ricciardo x Author! Reader
Summary: Daniel made a silly little comment that lost him everything. Over a year later, he tries his hardest to fix his mistakes.
Warnings: Swearing. A tiny smidge of angst but mainly fluff. Redemption for Daniel.
Female reader with various faceclaims (pics found on pinterest). Takes place in 2023. For the purpose of this, Daniel has been with AlphaTauri the whole time.
Main Masterlist
prev.
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28•05•2023
danielricciardo just posted
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liked by redbullracing, YourUserName and others
danielricciardo monaco, always a delight. P11. so close to the points but racing through your streets feels like being on a podium
4,337 comments
landonorris and whose attention are we trying to grab with that sexy last pic 👀
→ danielricciardo only yours, mate 
→ User1 don’t act like you’re not dying inside because y/n liked this 
→ User2 relax, they never unfollowed each other 🙄
maxverstappen1 you’ll get them next time, mate
→ danielricciardo fancy giving me a tow?
→ maxverstappen1 never
→ User3 i love their friendship so much
User4 um, did anyone see that y/n liked and then unliked this post 
→ User5 omg yes! sis was caught stalking and we love her for it 
→ User6 i too would thirst over my ex if he looked like that 
kellypiquet we were watching the whole time
liked by danielricciardo
→ User7 what a weird comment to make?
→ User8 who’s we, kelly? 
→ User9 what does this mean? 
 
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04•06•2023
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Tweet 1
User10 @ kikiki babe did you hit your head? is that why you were in the ER? they broke up
User11 @ kikiki maybe ask them to do a head scan whilst you're there 'cause ain't no way you saw here there
→ User12 literally. like why would she even be in spain right now?
Tweet 2
User11 i think we might have to apologise to @ kikiki
→ User10 can we really trust the wag page though? They did report that Lando was having a secret love child the other week..?
Tweet 3
User13 asking the real questions because she's not even hinted that she’s been writing so it’s not like she’s on a book tour or anything?
→ User14 some people are saying she could be on vacation but please, why would mother choose a holiday destination during a time that she knows is a GP?
User15 guys, guys, I think our sacrifice circle worked 
→ User16 please, please, 🕯️🕯️
User 17 how poetic would it be though if they got back together  during the spanish GP when they broke up at the spanish GP a year ago 
User18 shouldn’t you know these answers, and that she was in spain, if you're her so-called updates page
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22•08•2023
YourUserName just posted
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liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and others
YourUserName some big news approaching 
6,349 comments
kellypiquet i can’t wait, my beautiful girl 
→ YourUserName thank you for being my #1 support
→ kellypiquet thank you for letting me help plan
→ User1 what does this mean? 
→ User2 miss piquet stop being so cryptic on socials 
maxverstappen1 i’m very excited 
→ YourUserName did kelly force you to write that because i could feel the excitement oozing through the screen
→ maxverstappen1 i wanted to say something worse 
→ YourUserName i hope she leaves you
→ kellypiquet behave, you two! 
→ User3 i live for max and y/n terrorising each other, even without danny ric being around to encourage it
bloomsburypublishing we look forward to the end result
User4 i’m sorry but is this a soft launch?
User5 who is that in the last slide, miss y/n?
→ User6 the inspiration behind a new romance we hope
User7 don’t be shy. tag him 
User8 soft launches have recently become my least favourite thing
charles_leclerc are you perhaps writing my next plane read
→ YourUserName depends how long the flight is 
→ User9 confirmation of a new book ya’ll!! everyone say thank you charles
User10 i like to be edged by her books, not by her hiding her man
User11 don't try and distract us with news of a new book, we wanna know who the feet belong to!
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01•09•2023
danielricciardo just posted
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liked by maxverstapen1, yukitsunoda0511 and others
danielricciardo ciao a tutti. lovely sightseeing in beautiful Italy
6,445 comments
User12 you’re telling me that i’m currently in the same country as THE daniel ricciardo?
kellypiquet i’m still trying to recover from that hike
→ User13 kelly and max went on a double date with daniel and the new girl?!
→ User14 omg please be y/n. i can’t imagine kelly agreeing to it otherwise
User15 i know he's trying to distract us with his beauty but we see the last slide, daniel. we see it
pierregasly so you’re telling me that you were in milan and didn’t bother to come and see me? that’s it. i'm ending our friendship
→ danielricciardo i’m sorry, mate. i was doing more important things
→ pierregasly clearly ;)
User16 someone check on y/n, please
→ User17 babe is clearly having the time of her life in italy (yes, i'm delusional)
User18 does nobody find it odd that he’s posting a soft launch not long after y/n posted a soft launch
→ User19 i know! it’s only been three weeks since hers and he’s posting one
→ User20 i can’t decide whether they’re soft launching each other or he’s trying to make her jealous by flaunting a new relationship as well
→ User21 it HAS to be each other or i will die
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15•10•2023
lando.jpg just posted
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liked by YourUserName, danielricciardo and others
lando.jpg so i attended this event… and no, it’s not mine before you all freak out
8,223 comments
charles_leclerc it was a beautiful day ❤️
alexandrasaintmleux i’m so thankful to have been a part of such wonderful memories
kellypiquet the most beautiful bride i have ever seen
maxverstappen1 this was a nicer caption than i expected from you
→ danielricciardo agreed
→ landonorris i take offence to that
User1 guys do we think kelly and max got married? they’ve both comments on this?
→ User2 yes but so did charles and alex so…
→ User3 plus, i know kelly is stunning but do we really think she would call herself the most beautiful bride in 3rd person?
georgerussell63 i’m surprised you remember much after the state you were in
→ landonorris excuse you but most of that was just pure happiness
hulkhulkenberg an amazing day
estebanocon so happy to have been a part of this
alex_albon how’s the hangover, mate
→ landonorris i didn’t drink that much!
→ georgerussell63 tell that to the bouquet that you puked on
→ landonorris i caught it so it was mine anyway
carlossainz55 beautiful photos. she’ll love those
→ User4 who’s she?!
lewishamilton🤍🩵
fernandoalo_official congratulations to the happy couple
User5 the entire grid are commenting on this post, clearly having been in attendance. who IS IT?
pierregasly c’était une belle mariée
liked by YourUserName
User6 guys, y/n’s name on socials just changed from y/l/n to ricciardo
liked by danielricciardo
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03•04•2024
YourUserName just posted with danielricciardo
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liked by kellypiquet, maxverstappen1 and others
YourUserName my husband helped with this project. baby ric coming aug 2024
9,550 comments
kellypiquet you will be the most beautiful mother. i’m so honoured to be part of this with you 💕
→ YourUserName stop you’re going to make me cry. you’ll be the most perfect godmother
→ kellypiquet i still think you should've married me instead
maxverstappen1 i call godfather
→ landonorris no you don’t get to call godfather! you already got to be a groomsman
→ maxverstappen1 yeah because who helped get them back together
→ YourUserName kelly
→ danielricciardo me
→ YourUserName no, babe
danielricciardo and before you all ask, no I haven’t stopped crying since she told me
→ kellypiquet me too, dan, me too
maxverstappen1 on a serious note, i am very happy for the two of you. y/n will be a wonderful mother, and daniel, he’ll be there also
charles_leclerc i am so excited. alex keeps telling me to stop buying baby things for you guys but i just don’t listen
→ YourUserName well at least you can safely say that uncle charl bought little mcqueen’s love
→ User7 uncle charl!!!!
lewishamilton congratulations, you two. y/n looks amazing
fernandoalo_official how lovely 💚
User8 omg it WAS their wedding lando attended!!!!!
hulkhulkenberg baby ricciardo!!
pierregasly congratulations. i can’t wait to be uncle GASSLYYYYYY
alex_albon welcome baby ricciardo
→ lilymhe it’s not an alien, alex. you don’t have to greet it so formally
redbullracing we’re all so excited for the upcoming grid baby. working on a racer stroller right this minute
→ mclaren you stole our gift idea!
→ redbullracing you stole our driver!
carlossainz55 congratulations y/n and daniel 😄
mercedesamgf1 what wonderful news 🍼
landonorris i’m just so glad i can go back to calling you mum and dad without daniel wanting to drive his car into the barrier
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Please don’t hate me for this! I did say from the beginning that Part 2s would be redemption.
I’ve had this planned and written since before Part 1 was published so when half of you then asked for her to get with another driver/move on, I was like noooooo I’ve already planned their baby 😂
As always. Requests welcome. If you have requested, I promise I’m not ignoring it, it’s been added to my queue
Baby Fever Angst Part 1s
Max’s Version | Lando's Version | Lance’s Version
Charles’ Version | Oscar’s Version
Tag list
@bibissparkles @barcelonaloverf1life @rlalliehayes @dullypully @softtina @callsignwidow @lav3nder-haze @minkyungseokie @luvrrish @fall-bambi @evans-dejong @sadsierra2 @justdreamersdream @spookystitchery @dark-night-sky-99 @majusialikesfastcars @luckyladycreator2 @bborra @mrosales16 @reguluscrystals @tvdtw4ever @alwaysclassyeagle @gigicisneros @spanishcorndogs @thecubanator2 @goldenharrysworld @awritingtree @jxnellat @sbrn0905 @hc-dutch @buckybarnessweetheart @ironmaiden1313 @dreamercrowd @yourbane @reguluscrystals @peachiicherries @g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e @weekendlusting @leclercsluvs @hannannannannannah @lifeless-firefly @sinofwriting @exotic-iris13 @imperfect-paragon @dan3avocado @barcelonaloverf1life @avillagesperson @hard4ndsoft @justzluv @laneyspaulding19 @danielshoe @chocolatefanunknown @redcrescentmoons
Sorry if I missed anyone!
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e-6000 · 2 years
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#littletalks.txt#went out with a guy (casual friend) a few weeks back and I wasn't sure about it at the time bc#I like him but he's like Velcro#which is fine except that I am very much not#and so like the date itself went pretty well but I was a bit overwhelmed by *things* and then he had finals and I've just been#having my ass kicked by the big sad‚ so we hadn't really been able to see each other much since#we play magic the gathering with a group on Thursdays and Sundays which is how we met (and then there was a whole thing with a-#Halloween party which really was more of an inciting incident but I'd been catching feelings lowkey for a minute but I digress)#but he hadn't been at magic too much recently bc‚ again‚ finals. but they're finally over for him so he was there yesterday and I wasn't#[I was there‚ idk why the tag ended like that probably lost my train of thought]#and we sort of ironed things out. he's a good egg I think#very attentive‚ he notices things. I have a hard time verbally articulating things at the best of times and he picked up on it and we#conversed over notes app for a minute trying to clear things up#biggest issue is physical touch#touch is like his big love language‚ he just loves to cuddle‚ which is great except that I am easily overwhelmed esp in social situations#my main love language tends to be quality time which is where the confusion I think came in#bc for him touch is for its own sake whereas for me it's an extension of being present with a person‚ a physical sort of ''I'm here!''#but we were in a loud situation and I was very overwhelmed and couldn't figure out how to word it well so after trying for a minute (badly)#I ended up just going ''you know cats?'' which to his everlasting credit he understood almost immediately#all of this is to say that I think this might work out?#idk I just have to get this off my chest and the trusty old blog is like my stupid little diary lol
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bamsara · 25 days
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I'll ask, if it hasn't been already - regarding the tags on the fanfic poll:
What kinda things make you click out/give you the squick? I'm so curious 👀
rubs my hands together: could be a mix of things anywhere between character dynamics, personalities or even how the fic is formated
Btw for people who don't know what squicks are: 'Squicks' are just personal preferences that someone doesn't like. Nothing wrong with em it's just not your vibe. (Exp: Like how all my friends HATE tomatoes but I am tomato eater forever)
anyway long ramble list:
Can't read big blocks of text without breaks very well, and I dislike when characters (esp main characters that are talking in every chapter/scene) have bolded or italicized dialogue. I think it's fine for special reoccurring characters but it genuinely messes up with reading flow for me when it comes to taking in information if used too much
If I'm reading a fic specifically for a monogamous romantic paring, I don't care for the 'past lover interest reappears' trope or one of them currently has one, or the love triangle that results in one of them being like 'oh but i love them both i can't possibly choose!' *cough twilight cough* it just makes the relationship feel disgenuine and icky. zero stars. Any mention of a character's past relationship usually makes me just click out, just personally not here for that
-^^^ to go with this, big fan of the 'misunderstanding where someone thinks there's a love rivelry but the third person never had a chance.' Like to the main pairing there's only eyes for each other and that's all they care about, there's just some third person who's there and causing problems (either because someone in the pairing is jealous of the third person thinking they're gonna steal the other when it's not, or the third person thinks they're a love rival when in reality they're not even thought about) *cough Tyren cough*. I think there's a lotta comedy to have with this. Bonus points if it brings main pairing closer together
When characters have linear character development and recovery. I prefer my characters to realistically relapse and bit a little bit of a hypocrite as they develop from start of story to end. Failing and falling short and again makes the final result much more satisfying when they're healing
When characters use 'therapy speak' or otherwise react perfectly 'acceptable' to stressful situations. Again, I prefer realistic depictions of characters under stress, and work out becoming better under that stress rather than just One Big Thing Happen and suddenly they're never going to react negatively or lash out again because another character told them It Was Bad and To find Better Coping Mechanisms.
Unhappy endings. (Or open ended ones) Sorry for hurt/no comfort lovers but none of my fics will have unhappy endings. I like my stories to have people that go through absolute hell and still come out on the otherside
The ace in me doesn't care for fics where physical attraction is a large part of the ingredients that gets the pairing together. Not saying they can't admire each other when the sunlight hits them or wearing a nice outfit but just not a fan of reading about how 'sexy' a character is to another. Probably why I usually blast all my characters with the aspec beam
That's all I can think of off the top of my head but if someone had a more specific question I might be able to answer
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esoteriamaya · 4 months
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ASTROLOGY TIPS - ASPECTS
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Sun/Venus - A person with a sun/venus aspect has a charming ability that can masks itself into getting others to do what you want. The original sirens. Learning how to express this more often can garner them more fame, respect and power. They are naturally popular, but if they dont know how to awaken it, they usually have to embrace their sensuality much more often and get more into the spotlight.
Jupiter/Moon - Knowing what works is a natural ability they have. This takes a little arrogance on their end (jupiter) and trusting the power of intuition (moon) to make it more favorable. It seems as if that placement just knows things without knowing. And they should be more honest with themselves instead of guarding this gift. You never know when someone is going to need your intellect in somethning.
Mars/Moon - Hidden geniuses when it comes to working hard for something. That inner passion they feel sparks up real big energy, so a small tip for them is to work on that thing each day no matter what. It could be 30 minutes a day or whatever, but to keep the drive and focus churning more they have to keep the momentum.. because once they stop its harder to get back in with that same momentum.
Pluto/Sun - Transformative by nature, they need to spend more time in nature imo.. Nature is the inner reflection of us all, so these people have to learn to transform themselves like the way of the water, the trees, butterflies etc. Like how the seasons change, so do y'all. Very similar in nature to sun/neptune but more on the darker end. You guys need to be at peace with your transcendence and not reject it. The more you open yourself up to others the more powerful you become. <3
Mars/Jupiter - Being able to focus on a path that makes your heart sing, that is transcendence. You guys have a big appetite for learning, so putting all your effort in making a stronger impact on your mind is necessary. The choices you make in bettering yourself is a form of self-mastery and at some point might take up space. We're dealing with jupiter, after all.
Sun/Moon - Whew. I love yall. such a whimsical energy present. Your love for yourself and the world is a reflection of the inner child that is always constantly moving. Keep doing you, is my main tip. Focus on having a more balanced presence, and doors will open up for you much more easily. Got it?
Mercury/Jupiter - Talk. Talk. Talk. But talk about the things you love, what excites you, what makes your world much bigger. Your infinite mind is the key to enrichment in your journey, so why not share that with others who might be interested in the same. It could be as simple as a good book you just finished reading. Inviting others to how you see the world will attract more followers to you that you ever knew.
Neptune/Moon - Learning to accept your boundaries with others helps you heal a lot more than you realize. You're not for everyone, your cool, calm collected nature is what attracts people to you like flies... but its not for everyone to receive. You get me? Just be open to more out there, because the world is your oyster no matter who tells you otherwise. K <3
If you're interested in learning more, check out my tags! Also, if you want to know anything about your own chart, feel free to go into my asks! Thanks for reading, chow :)
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lovelyhan · 1 year
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— game over ⟢
a minwon streamer au!
★ FEATURING; wonwoo x afab!reader x mingyu
★ STATUS; ongoing
★ TAGS; streamer/gamer au, eventual poly, enemies to fuck buddies to lovers (wonu), friends to lovers (gyu), in denial wonu and gyu, sex tapes, angst, smut (MINORS DNI)
★ NOTES; i honestly should've made a masterlist for this little passion project a long time ago, but since we're finally introducing gyu into the mix, might as well do it now :^) it feels nice to finally pick up a series i started in january lol
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— main story ✧
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✧ one: underlying pretense ✧
word count: 10.3k words
summary: being two of the most popular streamers across the board, your subscribers often speculate if your constant bickering with wonwoo has some underlying pretense. little did they know, the two of you have everything on display on a single, unsuspecting twitter account. 
tags: fuck buddies, not quite enemies to lovers but it’s the thought that counts, streamer!wonwoo, streamer!reader, attempt at humor, smut
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✧ two: favorite poison ✧
word count: 15.5k words
summary: no strings attached sex is easy. catching feelings for a person you supposedly hate is hard. it’s in times like this when wonwoo wishes he can set the dial to his life on easy mode forever, but everyone knows he’s nothing if not stubbornly competitive.
tags: fuck buddies, not quite enemies to lovers, streamer!wonwoo, streamer!reader, attempt at humor, in denial!wonwoo, angst, smut
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✧ three: caught in the middle ✧
word count: 15.8k words
summary: mingyu knows. he’s perfectly aware that his best friend’s girlfriend is the last person he should end up wanting. but who is he to refuse when wonwoo invites him to join something he never thought he could ever be part of?
tags: established relationship, streamer au, one-sided pining (or is it!!!), lots of guilt-ridden thoughts, fluff, angst, smut
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✧ four: too much of a good thing ✧
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word count: 15.6k words
summary: contentment is something that mingyu has never really struggled with. he basks in what he's given and doesn't really ask for more. but when the lines start to blur between him and everyone's favorite power couple, he arrives at quite an impasse.
tags: established relationship, streamer au, one-sided pining (or is it!!!), fluff, mild angst, smut
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✧ five: coming soon! ✧
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— side stories ✧
⤷ 02:35 | bf!wonwoo getting jealous over some cosplay sent by your fans and sponsors
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if you want to be tagged in the upcoming installments for the main story, leave a reply! however, if you already signed up for my permanent taglist, you'll be automatically tagged in all my full length fics <3
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myfictionaldreams · 1 year
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Something New // Mafia!Stucky x Fem!Reader
Summary: The mafia leader was known to be possessive and enjoy showing off his girl but what happens when he wants to do this by being intimate with you in front of his gang?
A/N: This is included in the Mafia!Stucky series however this is set before Bucky joined the trouble x
Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, dom/sub undertones, exhibitionism, edging, teasing, authority kink, desk sex, rough sex, fingering, begging, pet names, safewords in place, possessive behaviour, creampie, cockwarming
Words: 3.4k
my masterlist 📚 AO3 Link
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Steve Rogers, the leader of the infamous Brooklyn mafia gang, woke you up with his face between your legs. Well, you were already half awake, listening to the birds chirping outside as Steve shuffled down the bed and you didn’t bother to open your eyes even as he settled onto his stomach, heavy hands pushing against the back of your thighs until you were open and bare to him.
It seemed he was in a teasing, slow mood this morning. In no rush whatsoever which only meant one thing: edging. Gentle licks, exploring, bringing you lazily to the brink of euphoria before he blew away the intense feeling.
Before your eyes had even opened for the first time that day you were a quivering, sopping mess. Mewling whilst clawing the sheets beneath to refrain from ripping Steve’s hair out through frustration at wanting to orgasm.
This was only made worse when his phone began to ring from the nightstand and instead of ignoring it like you silently prayed he would, Steve reached over and answered, still whilst lying between your legs. As he spoke to whoever it was that had called, he casually played with your clit, rolling it with the pad of his thumb, watching how your body reacted but never enough stimulation that you were on the verge of an orgasm.
Your moans didn’t dampen in noise so whoever was on the other end of the phone was sure to hear what was happening but you didn’t care, there was nothing you wanted more at that moment than to find your fulfilment.
“No worries at all Buck, we’ll be down in 10 minutes. No, you weren’t interrupting anything, it’s fine”, Steve began crawling back off of the bed as he spoke to the now-identified person on the phone. Your eyes finally snapped open as you cried out in disdain, sitting up and reaching for him but Steve just hung up the phone with a tormenting smile and tapped the side of your leg, “Come on we need to get to the office, Bucky’s waiting downstairs.”
“But- I-, wait-”, you stuttered over your words, sounding pathetic and needy which earned you a somewhat sympathetic smile from your beefy boyfriend who was gloriously naked and hard as he began to lean over to kiss your temple gently.
“Don’t wearing anything under the dress today and we might be able to continue this sooner rather than later”.
So there you were, sitting on the small lounger in the gang’s office, knees tucked under your body to hide the fact that you were pantieless, a book in hand but not reading a single word. Not as your attention was snagged on the hulking form behind the main oak desk, his ‘work face’ on which only seemed to make you more aroused with the authority that seemed to roll off of his shoulders but in other ways made you feel safe.
You watched out of the corner of your eye, the way his muscles flexed beneath his crisp white shirt and tight black dress pants, his thick fingers littered with tiny scars from the fights he’d been in, moving across the laptop with surprising speed, dreaming of them between your thighs or around your throat.
Before the two of you arrived, Steve seemed to constantly have his hands on you, whether it was leading you to the car with his warmth seeping through your dress on your lower back where he pressed. In the car, his fingers casually massaged your exposed thighs, especially as he noticed the way you couldn’t look Bucky in the eye as he’d heard your whimpers over the phone.
So now that you were sitting away from him, feeling touch starved and wanting to be close to your boyfriend, even as you tried to will your body to think about anything else like falling into the fantasy world of the book in your hand but nothing worked.
Thankfully Steve paused for lunch, asking one of his employees to go and get some fast food, craving burgers and fries and getting enough for everyone. As the food arrives and the smell wafted into your sense, Steve finally turned his attention back to you as he eased his seat away from his desk.
“Come up here baby girl”, he instructed, patting the desk in front of him, that he had just cleared the space of. Holding out his large hand, he helped you onto the cold surface, and you automatically spread your legs slightly to give him room to scoot his chair forward, which displayed your pussy to him.
Your whole body warmed instantly with embarrassment as you glanced over your shoulder to look at the gang members, realising the intimate position you were in with Steve sitting between your legs. However, no one seemed to be phased at all as they all continued working, even your new friend and bodyguard Bucky didn’t look in your direction as he ate half of his burger in one glorious bite.
Steve’s hand travelled up the outside of your thigh, leaving goosebumps in his finger's path, drawing your attention back to him. The look on his face was all you needed to know, his usually bright crystal blue eyes were now dark, his full lips moist from where he’d recently licked them and the bulge growing in his pants was evident to anyone.
“Everything alright up there?” You’re looking a little distracted?”, Steve smirked as your eyes snapped to his, away from his crotch where you’d just been staring.
Taking a deep breath, you tried to ignore the agonisingly deep ache in your core and instead plastered a fake smile on your face. “Yeah, I’m fine, just hungry”. A half lie, you were hungry but for the fast food.
“Well now, I can’t be leaving my girl hungry now, can I?”, Steve mused, startling you as his fingers brushed against the sensitive area of your inner thigh before standing quickly and leaning over to the bag of food. As he continued to tower over you, he opened the bag and took out a few fries, his lips quipping up into a smirk as he thought of an idea.
“How about we play a fun little game, to make up for earlier? I get to kiss you for every fry that I feed you”.
The sound of your heartbeat pounded in your ears, your body humming with anticipation and arousal. He was going to feed you which was an intimate touch without the kisses and fact you were still displayed before him on his desk. You didn’t need to think about it though, it was only a kiss after all and the others behind you didn’t know you’d gone without underwear today so with a smile, you perked your lips and nodded.
Steve huffed a chuckle as he leaned his weight on an arm next to you, ducking his head to peck your lips quickly before feeding you a fry directly into your mouth where you happily chewed.
Steve fed himself a handful of fries before picking up another one for you. This time he kissed the tip of your nose, which had you leaning forward trying to chase his lips, expecting him to kiss there as well but he simply fed you the next fry instead.
With each kiss, Steve picked a different location. Each of your cheeks, forehead, your chin, the backs of your hands and after every touch, he’d feed you a fry. As his mouth descended lower, your body stiffened once again remembering your location and how public it was, even though his lips felt so incredibly good grazing over your pulse point along your throat.
Your next move seemed to be on instinct like you were receiving a reward for being kissed. Instead of just opening your mouth and accepting the food, your mouth opened and tongue sticking out, eyes wide and looking up at him through your lashes. Steve sucked in a breath, his crotch moving closer to yours as he delicately placed the fry on your tongue where you moved it into your mouth and chewed slowly.
However, your actions seemed to push Steve a little further as he began to move the delicate strap of your dress off of your shoulder so that he could kiss the exposed area. The slightest bit of undressing had you coming out of the needy little bubble you’d created around the two of you.
“Wait, Steve”, you whisper, moving backwards so that you could look at him.
“Yes, baby?”, he asked casually and like he didn’t have a care in the world, other than you.
“I think it’s… I mean, there are people- Shouldn’t we go somewhere else?”, your words jumbled into one as your mind became fuzzy with conflicting thoughts.
Steve simply smiled at you, dropping his face again to nuzzle his mouth into your cheek. “Why would I need to go somewhere else? This is my office, my team, my building… my girl”, with each word that he spoke against your lips, his fingers crept dangerously high up your inner thigh once more.
The air suddenly felt thick and warm as you sucked in deep breaths trying to keep composure. “Steve we can’t-”.
“Why not, Princess?”
“Because there are people here in the room, your friends!”, you dropped your voice so it was only audible to Steve, forgetting that Bucky also had enhanced hearing.
Steve crowded you in by placing his arms on either side of you on the desk, his voice just as quiet as yours to mimic you, “Yes, there are people in the room but they don’t care. I could bend you over this table right now and fuck you until the sun sets and they wouldn’t even glance in our direction”.
The breath caught in your throat as your hands slacked onto the top of your legs, the words failing to form in your mouth as you still held some uncertainty but more than anything, the need for him to do exactly what he’d just mentioned became an obsessive thought.
Steve could see and feel your hesitancy. Standing back to his full height, he gently cupped your face, holding eye contact as he spoke. “I’m not going to do anything you aren’t comfortable with, you know that and our safe words are always in place. If you want to go to a private room we can however, I am paying everyone enough money and also trust them that they wouldn’t be phased by our actions. You’re safe here, in this room, with these people and with me”.
You felt like you were floating, skin prickling with the burst of energy and anticipation pouring through you. There was no one you trusted more than Steve Rogers and even the people working behind you were becoming close with, trusting and becoming your friends.
“Do you remember what it was that I told you a couple of weeks ago? About being possessive over what belongs to me? This is one of those things, I don’t want you to do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing but there’s nothing I’d love more than to show you off, display you before everyone, making you moan those sweet delicious sounds that only I can make you do because you’re mine. And no one elses. Does that make sense?”
It made a lot of sense and now you thought of it, he had been quite obsessive with touching you in public before, or fucking you in areas such as dressing rooms or the back of his car in a busy car park, just because he loved the thrill of getting caught. So, now understanding that he also had quite a significant exhibitionist kink, it answered a lot of questions.
If he had asked you in any other situation if he could fuck you in front of someone, you would have said no just for sheer embarrassment. But like this, where you were already needy and horny, Steve showing his possessive side as well only fueled your arousal which was very uncomfortable. Your juices were now soaking your upper thighs, clit throbbing and pussy clenching around nothing but desperate to be full.
Maybe you were thinking from between your legs rather than your clear mind but all you wanted right now was to have Steve touch you. Biting your lip, you nodded up at him. Steve tilted his head with a raised eyebrow and you realised he needed to hear your words, he always liked you to be as vocal as possible. “I want you, sir”.
Your blonde boyfriend, pulled your face to meet his in a delicate kiss before he released his hold and sat back into his chair, reaching into the bag and placing another fry into your mouth, the fun game having already been forgotten about but you took it happily.
Whilst not blinking, you watched as Steve spread your legs further, pushing any of your remaining dress material out of the way so that he could admire the way your pussy glistened in the light of the day.
“I’m so glad you’ve gone without panties today. Eyes on me and remember, the safe words if you want to pause or stop. Don’t think about the others in the room, just think about where my lips are touching”.
You do as instructed, your lips parted slightly, panting as he presses a single kiss to your mound. Then he’s offering you another fry, his eyebrow once again rising as you don’t immediately accept it as you were slightly preoccupied. Eating it quickly, hardly chewing before swallowing, you watched with thick anticipation as he chuckles and begins to bring your legs forward and up over his shoulders.
Leaning your weight back of his desk, hands behind you, he kisses more firmly and then gives you another fry. The next kiss was more open-mouthed and you sighed in relief as his opened lips stroked your labia. Another fry was given. Then his tongue was mixing into the play, pushing firmly to dip between your folds and your hands give up with holding up your weight as you sit back and rest on your elbows.
The next time food was given, you could hardly chew it in time as Steve licked a deep line from your hole up to your clit. You were lying completely flat against the desk now, mouth open and fries forgotten about, as Steve began to eat like a man starved, devouring your cunt with sucks, licks and kisses, occasionally even scraping his teeth against sensitive spots.
One of his firm hands was laying across your stomach, pressing down so that you were kept still for his enjoyment and the other held onto one of your thighs, massaging the flesh and holding it close to his face. Thankfully he was not in a teasing mood anymore as he drank your juices, tongue exploring your clenching hole, pushing in as far as he could reach before circling your bundle of nerves.
You’d already mostly forgotten about the other people in the room until they would do something like walk across the room or talk to someone on the phone. Your eyes were closed and your mind focused intently on Steve. To be honest with yourself, you could kind of see it from Steve's point of view. Here you were with the most infamous mafia leader on the East Coast, his only thought at this moment was to pleasure you, his girl, not caring who watched but also, wanting people to watch to show his possession and dominance over the situation.
The thought itself made you tighten around his tongue, making him moan gruffly in the back of his throat. The hand he was still using to hold onto your thigh relaxed and slide towards his mouth before his tongue was replaced by the single digit as he crooked and stroked your inner walls, coaxing the overdue orgasm from you.
Your thighs trembled around his face, almost suffocating him but he didn’t care, especially as your fingers gripped onto his soft blonde hair, pulling him closer even though there was nowhere else for him to move. Everything was burning with pleasure, like you were going to explode from your core as it built and tightened and then all at once, you were orgasming hard around his finger.
Your walls fluttered around him, chest rising and falling in quick succession. Steve didn’t stop playing with your clit or fingering your pussy until you were slumped against the surface.
You’d been biting your lip throughout it to try and remain quiet to not disturb the others working which was something Steve was not fond of as he eased your thighs carefully off of his shoulders and began to rise above your body, eyes on your lip. His eyebrows were furrowed causing a crease between them as his thumb snagged the lip away and he could see an indent from where your teeth had been biting on the flesh.
You are not bothered about the flicks of pain over your lip as you beam up at him, eyes glazed and happy. As he massages the flesh, you could now smell your juices that still coated his fingers as they were so close to his nose.
“What was that about? Why were you keeping quiet? I wanted to hear you. Guess that just means I’ve got to make you cum again”.
This was exactly what he did, his work long forgotten about as he swiftly unzipped his pants, easing his throbbing cock out of his restraints and rubbing it between your folds, coating him in your liquids before nudging his tip into your hole. There was no amount of lip biting that could keep the moans back now as he thoroughly stretched you, the mix of the burn from being opened and the pleasure from feeling full had your back arching off of the desk, fingers gripping onto his shirt desperately.
Steve did not hold back thankfully, his hips snapping frantically into yours, one hand next to your head at the edge of the desk and the other holding onto your hip, grounding you onto the surface so he could fuck you. His mouth sucked along the exposed column of your throat, whereas yours hung open with a constant flow of streams filling the room which only made Steve more feral with his actions.
Every thrust felt so powerful and deep that it took an embarrassingly short amount of time before you were having your second orgasm which only made Steve swear and grunt loudly with how tight your cunt was squeezing around his cock.
He wasn’t done though as he pinned your hands beside your head and just fucked into you desperately bringing on his orgasm until finally he stilled and made sure every single drop of his cum soaked your pussy. Even then he didn’t pull out as he gathered your exhausted body into his lap, collapsing back into the seat and tucked himself back into the desk. There you stayed, your head resting on his shoulder as you tried to catch your breath, his cock still inside of you, half hard but enough to plug his cum into your cunt.
Steve’s wrong arms wrapped around your back as you both cuddled, you needed the physical touch desperately with how much you were trembling.
“Thanks, Buck”, Steve muttered and then you were thoroughly wrapped in a fluff blanket that Bucky had found in the cupboards. Hearing Bucky’s name reminded you of the other people in the room as you tentatively glanced over your shoulder to see the brunette bodyguard walking away. As he sits, he catches your eyes and gives you a genuine, normal smile as everyone else was continuing with work as if you hadn’t just been railed over their boss's desk.
Steve groans into your ear, “If you keep squeezing me like that I’m going to stay hard forever, Princess”. You hadn’t realised how much you’d been clenching around his cock still at the thought of having just fucked in front of all of these people and had absolutely no repercussions for it. Steve cupped your cheek as you looked back at him, “Maybe you are a little exhibitionist as all”, he chuckled, kissing your temple as you relaxed back into his chest.
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locketsvault · 8 months
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「 CUDDLING WITH BSD MEN PT 1/4 」
pairings: dazai x reader ፥ kunikida x reader ፥ atsushi x reader ፥ ranpo x reader
tags: gender neutral reader, no agab mentioned, first person, fluff, cuddling/phyiscal affection
warnings: none!
other parts: ada ᨒ port mafia ᨒ doa + the guild ᨒ the hunting dogs
a/n: this should be a complete series, let’s hope I actually manage it lol. no gender or sex mentioned, no pronouns either!
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// dazai osamu ⌇˚.༄
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⮑ It scares me to say he’s actually a really good cuddler?
⮑ I don’t really see Dazai initiating it at first, and if he did it would mostly be to mess around with you. I think the first time you both cuddle each other is when one of you is not in a good place mentally. Whether that be you, he knows immediately and pulls you into his arms, cradling your head with the back of his hand while holding you close. Or it’s him, tucking his head into your chest or neck, his arm wrapped around your waist afraid to let go.
⮑ Once he gets used to being vulnerable and physically affectionate with his partner I believe he’s very physically affectionate. If he can cuddle with you, he will. In public? Not so much, he’ll stick to holding your hand or letting you rest your head on his shoulder. At home? He’s your personal leech. He blackmails you into cuddles lol. While rereading this I believe he’d be affectionate in public to drive kunikida insane.
⮑ Back to my first point, he’s a very good cuddler. It might not seem like it, especially when you look at his past. Whether or not he’s had experience with physical affection/knows exactly what to do, it doesn’t matter. Look at his personality as a whole, this boy knows how to work people out, and how to please them. His hold feelings secure, sometimes almost too much.
⮑ 9/10 cuddles are very comfortable most of the time, but sometimes you are not allowed to move and damn it you need to pee.
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// kunikida doppo ⌇˚.༄
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⮑ To be honest I don’t really see him as a cuddler, but he’ll do it for you.
⮑ The thing about Kunikida is that, as we all know, if he’s in a relationship with you he’s serious. And he’ll do anything to please you. So if your main form of affection is physical and you love cuddles, then he will cuddle you. He rarely initiates cuddle time, and usually when he does it’s because he can tell you need cuddles.
⮑ At first cuddles with kunikida are a bit stiff, but after some reassurance it becomes easier. He picks up on your favorite positions, what soothes you, and what irritates you. He writes all of this down ofc. He will never be little spoon during cuddle sessions, nope. Closest you get is him laying his head on your chest, but to him that requires letting someone else take the reins in the relationship which scares him. There are times though when he comes back from a case and is mentally distraught, and holding him is one of the only ways to soothe him.
⮑ Movie nights consist of you laying your body back against his chest, cuddles in bed can be anything in regards of holding you. He won’t admit it but sometimes when a day has gotten to him knowing you’re safe in his arms help. Never in public though, that’s a no no. Especially in front of his colleagues like Dazai. Cuddles are a private matter.
⮑ 7/10, after time he’s cuddles are comforting, but sometimes he misses the mark.
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// atsushi nakajima ⌇˚.༄
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⮑ He purrs. On accident. That’s the headcanon.
⮑ The first time he purrs you’re both cuddling and he for the first time completely lets his defenses down around you. That plus the fact that his tiger is very found of you, he ends up purring. Poor baby is so flustered and he won’t stop apologizing. It’s cute.
⮑ In my mind he’s 50/50 with his cuddles in the beginning, but it doesn’t take long for him to learn! He’s an orphan and he grew up with no affection, especially not physical. So it’s all new to him. But I definitely see him as a super cuddly person. I think after his first time cuddling you he’d become addicted.
⮑ The first time you two cuddled it was slightly awkward, he didn’t know what was comfortable for him and was afraid of hurting you. How? I don’t know, but he’s Atsushi so anything was possible in his mind. Once he finds the right positions for him and gets used to it he loves physical affection and cuddling. It doesn’t matter who’s holding who. In fact, he loves when they switch it up and his partner holds him sometimes instead.
⮑ Play with his hair and he will always purr. He hated it at first, he felt embarrassed. But after reassurance and realizing it was comforting to you he got used to it. Sometimes when you’re not doing well and you’re cuddling, he’ll purr on purpose to comfort you. This should be a more serious headcanon I’m pffft. In all seriousness he loves cuddling you and his temperature runs high so he’s very warm.
⮑ 10/10 cuddles in my opinion. Warm, comfortable, soft, like cozing up next to a furnace on a nice winter day.
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// ranpo edogawa ⌇˚.༄
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⮑ Can he even sit still long enough for cuddles?
⮑ Cuddling with Ranpo is like being in a relationship with him, you never know what’ll happen or when it’ll happen. It’s chaotic at best. Whether he has a hard time staying still, focusing on cuddles, or if he’ll ask or initiate them. Even more so, sometimes he likes to mess with you if you ask him to cuddle with you.
⮑ No really he will tease you, in public or private. Which brings me to my second point, he loves pda. He could care less that it makes people uncomfortable. At work? Someone is sitting in someone’s lap, it’s a must. I don’t make the rules. On the train? He’s resting his head against your shoulder either sucking on a lollipop or rambling to you.
⮑ It’s easy to say that the first time you both cuddled it was actually before you two were even in a relationship. Personally I do not see Ranpo dating someone he does not know, so you guys were friends first. And at first, he didn’t really care for being touched or touching anyone. But after a rough case you offered him a hug and he all but melted into your arms. Which can I just say, having him in your arms feels like heaven. He’s so squishy and cute. Holding him while he’s pouting? You’re done for.
⮑ I think it’s safe to say that after long days or tough cases being in your arms and being told he did great today is exactly all he needs. Even sweets can’t compare to that. I now headcanon he calls you sweets, it’ suits him.
⮑ 8/10, he’s very cute and soft, laying against him and taking a nap while he work is a dream. He just can’t sit still for long.
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main hub ✦ masterlist ✦ to do list
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emmeraude · 2 months
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when i look at you
— k. ayato.
synopsis: they say drunk thoughts are sober thoughts. ayato, intoxicated by the alcohol from the earlier party, finally takes the courage to confess that to him, you are more than a political partner. to him, this marriage is more than an arranged proposal. why can’t you see how fervently he attempts to make this marriage work? why won't you ever look his way? when did the walls of your relationship become too steep to climb up? how did you two end up taking the longer, rockier road of your relationship?
w.c: 4,866 oops
additional tags: female reader, arranged marriage, pining sort of? definitely slow burn, and drunk ayato bc i headcanon him as one who is clingy when drunk 😋
notes: its sooo so hard to format the centered ones 😭 if its not properly centered on your device im sorry to you and to ur family 😭🙏 lol. cross posted in both ao3 and tumblr. enjoy!
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I loved you even in my ignorance.
I loved you when I didn’t even know.
I just love you.
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i.
  “Never will I ever fall for you. Remember that. This marriage is solely for strengthening the political alliances of our families,” you remembered Ayato’s first words on the night of your consummation all too well.
  Under the iron facade of a picture-perfect political marriage, you know of the things yet unseen behind the curtains. It was far from ideal, seeing how neither of you had let the walls surrounding you crumble even the slightest. The emotions you have tried to keep hidden never once slipped into the seeping fragmented cracks of your oh-so-perfect marriage.
  When you were betrothed, you two were often the talk of the town—the main gossip among the nobles in Inazuma. It was a given, knowing that both of you were from prominent clans with reputable names. Ayato, the Yashiro commissioner, head of the Kamisato clan, and you, the cold-blooded lady of the Sangonomiya clan, the iron protector of Watatsumi Island. Such a perfect pair was not one to escape the tattletale mouths of those nobles that piqued their curiosity about you two.
  For the many years you were betrothed to the esteemed Kamisato Ayato, a bond between the two of you was yet to be established. It was a given, of course. It was arranged, after all. 
  Yet, often, you couldn’t help but wonder if maybe you were both too distant. Too preoccupied at the thought of this marriage being nothing but political to engage in friendly conversations, too estranged to even feign a sense of camaraderie. You pondered because the two of you silently had a mutual understanding that this political marriage of yours would be a civil one, right? So, why does your relationship seem too far from being civil? It was as if you two were nothing but mere strangers.
  Such questions were raised, but of course, you never once mustered the courage to ask your husband any of them. You were too immersed in trying to mask your emotions, thinking this might have been what your husband preferred after all—a quiet, emotionless wife who seemed to be as good as dead. And so, when he attempts to draw closer to you, you avoid it like a plague. You feel disturbed being with him, and you notice that his being around is much of a distraction to you while you are busy guarding your heart. Yet whenever you were about to succumb to your hopeless yearning, you are reminded of his words on your first night.
  “Never will I fall for you. Remember that.”
  So when he became a tad bit affectionate, you deliberately pushed him away—out of shock and confusion, to say the least. Only he can stir your emotions all at once, although, of course, he was never aware. He must never know, or so you think.
  ”Wife,” Ayato calls, opening the door and walking straight to your room, each step causing the floor to creak a little.
  “You’re home,” you acknowledge his presence, although not at once did you bat an eye. He sighs at your indifference, which is nothing new over the years of your marriage. You were indifferent, dismissive, and cold. He was busy, detached, and always nowhere to be seen. Apart from the necessary appearances to represent your clan in public, you two can only be seen together at night, quietly in your bed chambers, when the day is about to end.
  “Wife,” he calls you again as he heads toward the side of the bed to greet you with a kiss on the cheek. Trying to conceal both the shock and embarrassment from his sudden actions, you immediately pull away, a slight frown visible on your face.
  “We have already practiced before how to act when other people are around. There’s no need to do that here, not when only the two of us are present. What are you doing?” Your brow raises upon asking the question. You place your book on your lap to face him, although you refuse to look him in the eye.
  “Must I have a reason to give my wife a kiss of greeting upon my arrival?” This time, it was Ayato raising his brow as if questioning why you asked so.
  “No, I just find it unbecoming of you,” you reply coldly, dismissing him entirely before you put your book on the side table.
  “Then, I will do this from now on before we part and do our daily chores, if you would let me,” he replies, and you feel a tinge of hesitation present as he utters those words to you.
  “Ayato, stop toying me. I will retire for the night,” you hiss, turning your back from him as you lie down on the opposite side of the bed.
  “You won’t ask what prompted my sudden change of behavior?” He asks, and never once did you catch the hurt in his voice that night.
  “I don’t want to know,” you murmur, covering your face with the blanket as you tuck yourself in. “Good night,” you add before heading to slumber.
  Among all the nights you have spent with him, this was one of the coldest ones yet. Too solemn, too quiet to bear, too agonizing to never be able to utter the words you wanted to say to him.
    ii.  
  Ayato hardly ever slept that night.
  He kept on pondering where it all went wrong. Perhaps he was too harsh during the first years of your marriage, too busy to attend to his wife. Maybe he, too, was as cold as you were.
  He remembers the words of Yae Miko days ago when he was about to head home.
  “For someone as esteemed as you are, you can be quite foolish, no?” The Guuji emphasized, leaving Ayato confused about what she might be on. What is she up to?
  “Your wife,” she paused, “might have been able to find a more suitable partner had you not been arranged with her.”
  I am the most eligible husband candidate in Inazuma. That sly fox is mistaken. He thought.
  Those words have never left his mind ever since. It must have been one of the reasons why he had a sudden change of heart. If he thinks he is the most eligible husband, he must show it. What has he been doing all these years?
  Believing that the marriage was merely political, Ayato tried his best to remain as distant from you as possible—no monkey business, no attachments are allowed. He ensured that all your small talks would only be about the clan and other political opinions he wanted to hear from you. He was the first to draw the line between the two of you, yet why does he feel hurt seeing how distant you two have become for the past years? Rather than becoming closer, you seemed to have grown farther apart. The lines he drew became a full-fledged wall of boundaries as you two drifted away from each other. That was not what he wanted.
  It may be too late to make amends. The damage may have scarred the relationship even before it started. Ayato recalls the first day he saw you, with his face the same as ever, a practiced smile etched on his lips, the smile never once reaching his eyes as he utters the words he never meant to say. He faced several hurdles on the day of your marriage, several assassination attempts and a never-ending interrogation from the nobles who wanted to acquire the power of the Kamisato Clan by forcing their daughters onto him even on the day of his wedding ceremony. It left such distaste in his mouth, seeing how the power-hungry nobles were ever so aggressive and disrespectful. He must have thought back then that maybe you were like them too, hence why he said those words to you with such contempt.
  I will never fall for her? Celestia, such an absurd thing to say when my wife is as lovely as could be despite the exuding coldness she gives off, he thinks. Now, he is determined to make this relationship work. He promised himself that despite this being political, he would treat you well. He will give you gifts, spoil you rotten, and perhaps become good allies. However, he has been so preoccupied with work that he has forgotten his wife waiting for him at home. It’s been years, he thought. Such a douchebag I am... He hopes it’s not yet too late to woo you, and he will do everything he can to make those high walls of yours crumble to ashes completely. If he has a face fancied by many, he might ought to put it to good use, right?
  However, there was one thing he overlooked. He never noticed it back then, and realization only hits him right now when he eats breakfast with you after many weeks of not eating together. 
  Not once did you look him in the eye. 
  Figuratively and literally, he supposed. Was it always this way?
  “Wife,” he calls you to get your attention and see whether you’ll look at him. Unsurprisingly, you did not, which caused something in his heart to twinge. Must you be so cold? 
  “What?”
  “Can I have an ounce of your attention?” he asks, his tableware clinking more as he anticipates your undivided attention.
  “I’m listening. What is it?” Much to his dismay, you still did not look at him, too focused on the meal in front of you as you ate quietly.
  “No. I want you to look at me,” he says, meaning it literally and figuratively.
  “Not now, my lord, for I am still eating. Even so, I am all ears. Just what, pray tell, do you want to speak about?”
  Ayato sighed defeatedly; even a frown was seen upon hearing you call him “my lord.” He shakes his head, not wanting to be as forward as he was earlier, and decides not to speak anymore, for he thinks it might cause you to push him away even further. He wipes his mouth using the table napkin before him as he finishes his meal. He looks at you once more, noticing a lingering sauce on the side of your lips. Instinctively, he leans to you and wipes them off, startling you. This prompts you to finally, finally look at him. A smirk forms on his lips upon seeing how flustered you look.
  “Y-you could have just told me… I can wipe it off myself,” you stammer, a blush creeping down your cheeks. Despite your attempts to hide it, his actions obviously affected you.
  “I know. I just want to do it for you,” Ayato says, triumphant at the sight of you blushing because of him. He wants to speak more, perhaps to tease you, but he chose to stay still when he heard nothing from your end.
  Silence envelops the room after that. You do not know how to respond to his gestures right now. You are having a hard time deciphering what he wants. Did he purposefully do that because he was paying attention to you? Or is he perhaps touch starved? You quickly brush off these thoughts, thinking they are far from sensible. It’s merely foolish thinking. You believe that the great Kamisato Ayato is far from being like that.
  Ayato sighs again, and you swear it was the fourth time he did so during your breakfast. He must have despised the idea of sharing meals with me, you thought to yourself. He continues to look at you, and even without direct eye contact, you know, you feel him staring at you as if he wants to say something.
  “I just want to tell you in advance that there will be another social gathering hosted by the Hiiragi clan for all of the nobles in Inazuma,” Ayato speaks once more, trying to divert another topic in hopes of hearing your voice again.
  “When will it be held?” You ask, and he rejoices upon hearing how lovely your voice sounds in his ears.
  “Three months from now, I suppose,” he replies, his tone calm despite feeling slightly giddy.
  Was there a reason why he said it to you so early? Does he want you to prepare meticulously for the party? What does he want? Oh, Celestia. Your husband is so hard to figure out. It makes you think that perhaps you may have known nothing about him at all, which was understandable since the two of you barely strike up any conversations that are not work-related. Still, it left a bad taste in your mouth, knowing you two were estranged from one another despite being married for years.
  Ayato, on the other hand, realizes he has come to love you far more than he could ever admit. He would like to ask himself when and how the love started to bloom in his heart, yet he could never pinpoint an exact moment. Was it when he first saw how beautiful you looked on your wedding day? Or was it when he witnessed how you gracefully wield your sword, infused with the faintest touch of electro—a skill that might be unmatched even by the Shogun herself? Was it when he saw you having tea with his dear sister, Ayaka, smiling fondly at her while your pleasant laughter filled the room? He does not know. One thing he learned is that it steadily grew. Patiently, ardently, crushingly so, without him ever knowing. And when he understood it, it had grown too big to ignore. Too overwhelming to hide, so much that oftentimes it seeps into the cracks in his guarded heart whenever you two are together.
  He started giving you gifts more frequently than before and started writing letters regarding what he has been up to at work. However, the letters do not get reciprocated, much to his dismay. Perhaps you were so stunned at his gradual changes that you find it hard to keep your usual composed, distant facade, seeing how much he has changed over the past few months. But he understands. He decided to give you all the time you need until you finally respond to him—both to his letters and his feelings. Ayato realized he loved you in the past oh so silently. Perhaps too silent—too hushed for you to ever have known, ever to feel. Slowly, he has learned to love more freely and vocally, even in his simple ways. He has yet to say it, sure, but he wishes his love becomes more piercing and loud for you to know, for you to feel.
iii.
  Months passed, and the much-awaited social gathering for the nobles to be hosted by the Hiiragi clan finally arrived. While the servants helped you prepare for the said party, you heard a knock on the door, with smiling Ayato entering. He pause for a moment before walking towards you, reveling as he looks at the beauty in front of him.
  “Dear wife, you look dazzling as ever,” your husband marvels, eyeing you from head to toe with his lips a bit open.
  “Enough of your bluffing, Ayato. Such a sweet liar you are,” a small chuckle escapes your lips, leaving your husband feeling delighted at the sight as he rushes over to you to take a closer look at your appearance. He gently takes your hand, leaving a light peck on your knuckles.
  “Not once did I ever lie to you. You look beautiful,” Ayato looks at you, full of adoration in his eyes. Once you also looked at him, you immediately avoided staring at him for far too long, afraid his beauty might as well entrance you. For while he utters his praises of how beautiful you look, you can’t help but revel his face when you stare at him. He, too, seems as if the gods carved him carefully. Beautiful, crushingly so. He was the epitome of majestic.
  The last three months went by like a hurricane. Never once did you imagine you would little by little open your heart to the man before you. For the last few months, you have seen him actively reaching out to you more than before. Still, your heart was guarded, albeit not much more than it was in the past. You see, your relationship progresses to something more than plain civility. The two of you formed a sense of kinship as you got to know more about one another.
  Once the party started, you two stuck around each other for a while, then parted ways shortly thereafter to mingle with several nobles separately. It was almost past ten, and having not noticed the time, you searched for Ayato, who was nowhere to be seen. You turn and find Thoma, who is guarding you at the corner. You asked him if he knew your husband’s whereabouts, to which he responded that he was in the other room drinking with the noblemen. You thanked him and asked him to head there with him.
  As you open the door, you see your husband sitting with the nobles, holding a cup. There was something different about him, though. You notice his eyes are close to squinting as you walk towards them. You greeted the noblemen shortly and focused your attention on Ayato, who looked like he drank a little alcohol upon seeing the presence of redness on his ear.
  “Ayato, goodness…” you mumble to yourself. It was unlikely for him to look drunk like this.
  “The wine tastes a bit sweet, so he must have drunk a lot, milady,” Thoma says, and you realize that Ayato likes sweets, which must have been why he drank a lot without knowing that the wine was strong. Ayato opens his eyes, a stern look he tries to make. This prompts you to giggle a bit, seeing how your husband never once softens his look even while being intoxicated.
  The ride home was ever so silent. Ayato stares at you piercingly, and you, left not knowing what to do, avoid his gaze as always. After a few while, however, you decide to ask how he is feeling.
  “Are you okay?” You ask out of concern since he seemed to be spacing out, which was so unlikely of him.
  “I am. My head just feels dizzy,” he murmurs.
  “That’s the consequence of drinking a lot,” you teased him, and even though you weren’t looking at him, you felt as though he was rolling his eyes. My, look at that sass, you thought.
  “It’s not my fault that the wine is sweet. It almost tastes that of boba tea,” Ayato counters.
  “You could have just asked for another sweet beverage similar to boba, Ayato,” you argued once more, obviously amused at his replies.
  “I cannot decline the eager requests of the noblemen who surrounded me,” he sighs.
  “Must you drink a lot, then?” You raise your eyebrow.
  “Heavens, wife. Please stop scolding me. Never did I know I could never win an argument with you,” he sighs again, earning yet another hearty laugh from you in response to what he says. Ah, music to my ears, Ayato thought.
  “Alright, alright. I’ll shut up,” you resign in defeat, although your laugh has still yet subsided.
  You arrived at the estate shortly after. With the help of Thoma, you hand-in-hand carried your husband to your private chambers. You thank your retainer as he quietly exits.
  You prepare a damp towel with a basin filled with water to wash your husband, then carefully undo the kumihimo and try to remove all the layers of his ever-so-thick clothing slowly. He stirs a bit, opening his eyes as he witnesses you caring for him. He sits up, helping you remove his clothes so that he can now wear his night kimono. Now that his upper body was bare and free from any clothes, you wiped his arms, then his chest, and lastly, his neck. 
  “I can do this on my own…” he murmurs, which seems to be grumbling in your ears.
  “I doubt. Someone as pampered as you?” You snorted.
  “Oh, come on. Stop attacking me when I’m in such a weak-minded state,” he scoffs, and now you clearly can no longer hide the amusement because of his actions.
  You merely chuckle lightly, a sight he revels the most. Abruptly, he pulls you closer to him, head feeling a bit hazy as he takes in your scent. He wraps his arms around you, his body leaning towards yours as your back touches the headboard of your bed.
  “Ayato?” You gently tap his cheeks, causing him to lean closer to your touch.
  He was silent for a while, with his breath steady and slow, and when you have come to conclude that he perhaps might have fallen asleep, he speaks, making you jolt a bit in surprise.
  “Why…” Ayato mumbles to his breath, his head nuzzling to your neck upon sighing with exasperation. Albeit confused, you strive to console him by patting him gently, trying to understand that he must have been far more intoxicated because of the drinks he had earlier.
  “Why won’t you look at me?” He says, as if pleading with you to take even just one glance, to take a chance with him.
  “Pardon?” You pause for a moment.
  “Look at me,” you feel a thread of desperation laced in his voice so soft that it might have threatened your senses, altering your resolve as you try to remain composed.
  “I am looking at you now, Ayato,” you answer, facing him to prove your point. However, your eyes never once gazed at his, even now. Try as you may, you can never find a solid explanation of his actions. Upon saying those words, you made an effort to sound as calm as possible, as if trying to soothe your husband, who seemed to be... sulking...?
  “No, you know that’s not what I meant,” he groans, causing you to be a bit taken aback. Oh, seeing him frowning and grumbling, such a sight of him you have never witnessed your whole life. Not until now, that is. What in the world did Ayato drink for him to become this sluggish and vulnerable?
  “What, then?” You pause for a while, confusion now clearly etched on your face as you look at him.
  “Why must you be so cruel? If only you could see how much I devote myself to this marriage. How I’m devoted to... to you…” His voice was somewhat cracked, making it seem as if it was what keeping him up late at night for the past few days.
  His words left you bewildered. You blink your eyes a couple of times, feeling your cheeks warming upon realizing what he meant. Oh. You choose to shut your mouth, because the best option you can think about right now is avoiding confrontation. To avoid talking. And you know that’s what you’re good at. 
  “See? You won’t even respond to me right now…” he purposefully laced his voice with sulking, knowing how it works on you all too well.
  “I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say, Ayato,” you admit, sighing as you think that maybe you cannot avoid things forever.
  “Your normal response when someone confesses to you should either be a rejection or acceptance, or even an ounce of gratitude will do, my darling wife. Don’t you know that?” Ayato coos. Despite the hint of teasing in his voice, there was also gentleness in it, as if making sure to be patient with whatever response you may give.
  “And why is my drunk husband lecturing me about this? For a drunk person, you sure are chatty, no?” You attempt to tease him, which, in return, he merely snorts. He was silent for a while afterwards, and then he spoke again.
  “Because I want to know how you feel about me, too…”
  You were quiet once more, again taken aback by his straightforwardness. You have known Ayato to be a no-nonsense type of person. He does not like it when people beat around the bush. Despite him being known as a cunning charmer who has the power to entice people with his mere words, he makes sure that his words never lack substance. He especially lets you know his likes and dislikes, and you thought to yourself once that his straightforwardness was what you liked the most, in contrast to you, who have learned to conceal everything even from your husband. 
  “Ayato, if I may be honest with you… I was ready to live as though I was dead in the first months of our marriage. It was so lonely, you know?” you say to him, which alarmed him as he faced you with a frown.
  “Wife…”
  “I made my walls too high because I was scared that when you see a fracture of my vulnerability, you might look away and throw me. And knowing that there are a lot of people coveting the position as your wife, I was restless, Ayato, because I know I am replaceable, and you are not,” you paused a bit, feeling something heavy blocked in your throat as you struggle to speak without breaking down. He was about to protest what you said when you stopped him and continued talking.
  “A-and why do you think I was that scared? It was because I loved you too, idiot, from the start. I loved you secretly and learned to keep this feeling of mine. Do you know how terrified I am upon imagining you looking at me with disgust if ever you find it out? You uttered in our first meeting that I should never expect any love from you!” Your voice broke a bit as tears finally fell. Ayato promptly cups your face to wipe away the tears cascading down your face.
  “Shh… I’m so sorry, my love. I’m so sorry. I want to make it up to you. I will make sure I can. Please let me. I love you…” Ayato murmurs as he gently rubs your back, all while hugging you. Your soft sniffles are heard across the room, and it pains him to hear those from you. He likes it when you speak; he likes to listen to your voice, which he thinks was a rarity back then. However, never did he imagine he would come to hear your cries because of him, and it broke his heart, too. He looks up, staring at your face, and kisses your tears away. He kisses your forehead, then nuzzles to your neck as the two of you finally drifted to sleep afterwards with you cradled in his arms.
    As soon you feel the sun’s glaring light, you gently open your eyes. You see your husband at your side with you two facing each other, and immediately, embarrassment fills up your thoughts upon recalling how much you cried to him last night. Embarrassing! I hope he was too drunk to remember what I said last night! 
  Your wishes were unheard, however, as he stirs awake shortly after you do. Ayato opens his eyes, immediately searching yours the moment he does so. The first thing he did was to plant a soft kiss on your forehead, a grin plastering his lips upon seeing your red face. He shakes his head while touching your face as if reading your mind.
  “If you think I have forgotten our conversations last night, you are wrong, my darling wife. I shall embed it in my mind for the rest of my life.”
  “Shut up,” you roll your eyes in return, earning a heartfelt laugh from him. He will always ever be glad to see a new side of you.
  “I know you love me,” he teases more, the smile on his face never once faded. He kisses your forehead first, then your cheeks, then finally, your lips. Despite being a bit starstruck, you still spoke to him to keep up with your bantering.
  “Fair reminder that it was you who confessed first, dear husband. You love me, too,” you retorted, feeling snug at your comeback as you smirked at him.
  “Oh, no one can deny that. I love you, and I yearn for you most ardently, my lovely wife.”
  This time, you are sure the two of you will now walk the path at the same pace. No more secrets you need to conceal, no more running away despite things getting overwhelming. Lastly, no more looking down in hopes of avoiding his gaze. You know you can now erase the lines you ridiculously drew at the start of your marriage. You are now well rested, knowing the high walls you two built to protect yourselves are crumbling slowly but surely, steadily, and beautifully. 
  Ayato is at peace, too, knowing how you finally learned to look at him. Moreso at the fact that you looked at him now oh so lovingly. And as such, the two of you are now finally listening to the beat of your hearts both of you stubbornly tried to avoid.
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istg posting in tumblr is hard 😭 this is my first time here lmaooo salute to all writers here omg. i hope all ayato stans (me) are having a feast at the surge of ayato fics here in tumblr we r blessed 🔥
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cherrrydragon · 2 months
Text
➤ sweet
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SUMMARY ↳ Peter Parker is sweet. The kind of sweet you can't get enough of. It kind of ruins your life. One day, during lunch, it’s the same as any other. You three are sitting together, not really eating your food, too focused on talking. Then, Peter speaks up, and it kind of throws off your whole existence. “Did Liz get a new top?” His face is resting on his hand as he stares at the girl. You’ve always thought Liz was pretty, and what makes that even more unfair is that she’s nice. She helped you find your way to your class on time, and you have a bad habit of being willing to die for people once they show you even the smallest amount of kindness. pairing: tom!peter parker x fem!reader warnings: just reader having to watch the person she loves not love her. so basically all of us with our fav fictional characters tags/notes: MAJOR pining on reader's side, (not actually) unrequited love, 7k of this is just straight yap my bad, happy ending! wc: 8.5k
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Peter Parker is a sweet boy.
He always has been. Even when people shunned him for no reason, he never shed that kind demeanor. He has remained unwaveringly gentle and compassionate.
Your first interaction with him is simply asking him for a pencil. You’ve just rushed into class, barely making it before the bell rang. As you fumble through your bag, you realize you forgot to pack a pencil. Hesitantly, you turn to the boy sitting next to you.
"Hey, uh, do you have an extra pencil I could borrow?" you ask, trying to sound casual.
Peter looks up from his notebook, his eyes meeting yours with a friendly, albeit slightly surprised, expression. He quickly reaches into his bag and hands you a pencil.
“Uh, yeah. here,” he smiled unsurely, handing you a pencil.
“Thanks,” you smile. You notice how he keeps his gaze on you for a moment before turning away.
The rest of the class goes by smoothly, thanks to Peter's pencil. As the teacher drones on, you can't help but sneak glances at Peter, noticing his focused expression as he takes notes diligently. There's something about him that draws you in—a quiet determination mixed with a genuine kindness.
When the bell rings, you suck in a breath and turn to him. “Hey,” you start, extending your hand holding his pencil. “Thanks for letting me borrow it.”
Peter takes the pencil, his fingers brushing against yours. “Uh, yeah. Yeah! No problem.” You think the way he stumbles over words is pretty cute.
Time to be bold. Go for it, [Name]! “Can I sit with you at lunch?”
Peter's eyes widen slightly, caught off guard by your request. He hesitates for a moment, then nods with a shy smile. “I just, I don’t really sit with anyone and you seem nice so–”
“Yes,” he blurts out, wide-eyed. “That’s cool.”
You feel a mix of relief and excitement. “Okay, see you then?”
He nods, a little late. You smile and walk off to your next class, feeling buzzy. You really are looking forward to knowing Peter.
You didn’t really notice him before. He was always in the background, never too far but never too close. He was just a boy you didn’t know, but knew of. But you saw, saw how he was always there, saw how he held the door open for others, saw how he kept his head down and never bothered anyone.
As you anticipate lunch, you imagine conversations, shared laughs, and maybe even a little bit of awkwardness, but in the best way possible. The anticipation grew with each passing period.
Woah, maybe you’re getting ahead of yourself. He might think you’re, like, weird. You really hope he doesn’t.
As lunch finally approaches, you gather your things and head to the cafeteria, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. You scan the room, looking for Peter, and spot him sitting not alone at a table near the window. There’s a boy next to him. His friend probably (who else would it be?). Taking a deep breath, you make your way over.
"Hey, Peter," you greet with a smile as you reach his table.
Peter looks up from his tray, his eyes lighting up when he sees you. "Hey," he responds, a bit more confidently than before.
You turn your attention over to his friend, who is looking at Peter, a bit surprised. “Hello.”
“Hey,” he greets you, discreetly elbowing Peter. “I’m Ned.”
“[Name],” you say.
“Why are you sitting here?” he asks bluntly. You blink at the abruptness of it as Peter hisses, “Ned!”
“Uh,” you stutter, suddenly feeling out of place. “I can go if you want–”
“No!” yelps Peter. “He’s just being stupid. What he means is that, well, we don’t really have any friends. But we’d–” he spares a subtle glare at Ned, “–like to be yours. If that’s what you want.” 
His eyes bore into yours earnestly. “Please stay.”
You pause for a moment, processing Peter's earnest plea. Ned looks a bit sheepish now, realizing his bluntness may have come off the wrong way. You glance between them and smile, feeling your nerves ease a bit.
The three of you start chatting, and you quickly find yourself laughing at their silly and nerdy jokes. You learn Peter is really into science and chemistry.
“You know Peter has an internship at Stark Industries?” says Ned, leaning in.
Peter stares at Ned hard. “Oh, really?” you hum.
Peter quickly tries to downplay it, waving his hand dismissively. "It's not a big deal, really. Just a lot of organizing and data entry," he says, clearly trying to stay humble.
You shrug. “I think it’s cool.” You do, you’re impressed.
A hint of a smile crawls on Peter’s face.
When the bell rings, signaling the end of lunch, you feel a pang of disappointment. But Peter looks at you with a hopeful expression. "Um, do you want to sit with us again tomorrow?"
You stare at him earnestly. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that.”
“Okay,” he nods, more so to himself. “See you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow.”
From then on, you become a part of their group, officially Peter’s friend. You learn that Peter is not just smart, but also incredibly kind-hearted. He always goes out of his way to help others, even if it means sacrificing his own time. The bond between you strengthens, and soon you're sharing inside jokes and stories about your classes.
You somehow manage to land yourself a spot on the Academic Decathlon (no, not because Peter’s on the team). But, to be honest, you wouldn’t have tried if not for him. You’ve never considered yourself all that smart, you don’t really try that hard in school. Peter says you’re ‘naturally smart.’ You never gave it much thought, but a compliment from him makes you happy.
“You got this,” Peter assures you before every practice.
One day, during lunch, it’s the same as any other. You three are sitting together, not really eating your food, too focused on talking. Then, Peter speaks up, and it kind of throws off your whole existence.
“Did Liz get a new top?” His face is resting on his hand as he stares at the girl. You’ve always thought Liz was pretty, and what makes that even more unfair is that she’s nice. She helped you find your way to your class on time, and you have a bad habit of being willing to die for people once they show you even the smallest amount of kindness.
“No. We’ve seen that before, but never with that skirt,” replies Ned.
Liz waves at a couple of girls that greet her. You think her voice is pretty.
“We should probably stop staring before it gets creepy though,” notes Peter, still looking at her.
“Too late,” comes a voice at the end of the table. A girl, unbothered and doing her own thing. Oh, that’s MJ. “You guys are losers,” she says, unapologetic. “Except for [Name]. Hi, [Name].”
You wave at her. “Hi, MJ.”
Peter raises his hand in confusion, looking at you for answers. You shrug, not having any. That’s just how MJ is.
“Well, then why do you sit with us?” asks Ned.
MJ flicks her hair out of her face. “Because I don’t have any friends.”
And ain’t that the truth.
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“Let’s move to the next question,” hums Liz, flicking through index cards. “What is the heaviest naturally-occurring element?”
You’re not really paying much attention to practice, even though you really should be. You’re too busy staring at Peter.
“Peter, it’s nationals,” you hear. “Is there now way you could take one weekend off?”
Wait, Peter’s not going to nationals?
“I can’t go to Washington. If Mr. Stark needs me, I have to make sure I’m here.” Well, you do like a man who has his priorities straight.
“You’ve never even been in the same room as Tony Stark,” says Flash, doing absolutely jack shit across the room. His voice grates your ears.
“Wait, what’s happening?”
“Peter’s not going to Washington.”
“No, no, no, no.” Felt that.
“Really? Right before Nationals?” asks Liz, wincing at him disapprovingly.
“He already quit marching band and robotics lab,” hums MJ, reading her book. Your fellow members turn to look at her. You know that, but why does she? “I’m not obsessed with him. Just very observant.” Well, you are obsessed with him. Just a little. A healthy amount.
Liz says something to Flash, and at the mention of him you automatically zone him out. You spend the time staring at Peter, who briefly glances at you before looking behind him at the ticking clock.
The rest of the day he’s tapping his fingers against the desk and moving his leg up and down. You barely manage to catch him at the door before he runs off. Peter looks at you, momentarily startled as you catch up to him. He gives you a quick smile, though you can tell his mind is elsewhere.
“Peter,” you say, frowning slightly. “Why aren’t you coming?”
He shrugs, trying to appear casual. “You know already, [Name]. The internship is really important. I gotta be ready at any time.”
“Tony Stark can’t spare you one day?” You raise a brow at him. “I think that goes against some kind of labor law.”
Peter furrows his brows, taken aback. “No, it’s not like that,” he defends quickly, shifting uncomfortably. “Mr. Stark… relies on me. I don’t wanna let him down.”
You give him a sympathetic look. “You’re really smart, Peter. There’s no way that’s possible.”
His gaze softens, smiling secretly to himself. You lightly punch his shoulder, and he gives you a mock offended look. “You’re the whole reason I even joined, and now you’re bailing on the most important day? Fake friends, I swear.” You’re mostly joking, it’s not that big of a deal. But you still would’ve liked him to be there with you.
He chuckles softly, rubbing the spots you hit him (dramatic, you barely touched him). “You’re smart, [Name]. You don’t need me.”
Yeah, you don’t need him, but you want him.
He grabs your hand and squeezes it tightly, briefly, before turning and walking away. “I’ll make it up to you, promise!”
Your heart skips a beat, at both his gesture and his words. “Okay,” you say softly, knowing he’s already gone.
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“Hi. I’m Captain America. Whether you’re in the classroom or on the battlefield…”
You wonder how they convinced this guy to stand in front of a camera and yap to a bunch of high schoolers who just simply don’t care. Peter and Ned are mumbling about something, too hushed for you to hear.
“Isn’t he like a war criminal, now?” you mutter. Peter leans in to you to hear better.
He chuckles softly, breath tickling your ear. His proximity sends a warm shiver down your spine. “Sucks, he’s kind of cute.”
Peter chokes, looking at you in surprise. “In, like, a celebrity crush kind of way,” you shrug.
Peter’s face flushes a soft pink, and he clears his throat, trying to regain his composure. “Yeah, um, I guess? I didn’t think you’d like older guys…?” He trails off, fumbling with his fingers. His awkwardness only makes him more endearing.
Ned snickers beside him. “You’re not wrong. Captain America’s got that whole classic charm thing going on.”
Peter shoots him a look. “Dude.”
It’s only natural you and MJ pair up for the exercises. Though, to be fair, you’re not really doing much exercising. Instead, you’re too busy ogling Peter.
“You’re down horrendously bad,” says MJ, unapologetic.
You blink, looking down at her. “Huh.”
“You know what I’m talking about.” She looks unimpressed by your attempt to seem unaware.
The way Peter effortlessly does pull-ups is doing something to you, and it’s really embarrassing. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yeah, you do,” she snorts. You watch as Peter flicks his attention over to… Liz. Always Liz. Never you.
“Is he staring at her again?” MJ asks, looking over. Your heart sinks a little.
“Doesn’t matter,” you mutter. “He’s just my friend.”
MJ raises an eyebrow, studying you for a moment before shrugging. “If you say so.”
“Peter knows Spider-Man!”
The entire gym looks over at Ned and Peter. Um. What was that, Ned? Peter gets up, sputtering and denying Ned’s claim.
“They’re friends,” says Ned.
“Yeah, like Coach Wilson and Captain America are friends.” Your nose scrunches up at Flash’s words. MJ catches it and nods her approval.
Peter glances around nervously, his eyes meeting yours for a split second before darting away. You feel bad for him, even if he doesn’t have need for anyone’s pity. Peter is cool, and really smart. He’s also really cute, and he bites his lip when he’s focused on something. He can’t sit still for very long, and he has a bad habit of running his fingers through his hair when–
Yikes, girl. Focus.
Wait, Liz’s party?
��Yeah, I’m having people over tonight. You’re more than welcome to come,” she nods, demeanor kind of shy.
“Having a party?” Peter’s voice is breathy, and it makes your fingers clench.
The bell rings before Peter can decline (or accept, because why would he ever decline?) and Liz spares him a look as she walks away. Peter looks up at the ceiling in frustration, turning to Ned to snarl something at him.
Probably upset because Flash made fun of him in front of the girl he likes, you think miserably.
You help MJ up off the floor, waving her goodbye as she leaves. Your legs are barely able to talk you towards the door, wanting to go over to Peter. You can’t take your eyes off him, but you know you have to, so you tear them away and walk out.
As you walk away, you can't help but feel a mixture of emotions swirling inside you. Peter's feelings for Liz are clear, but you can't deny your own growing affection for him.
“[Name]!” Peter’s voice is very recognizable (to you at least). You hear his footsteps rush over, coming to a stop by your side. You turn to face him, your heart pounding. "Hey, Peter," you say, trying to sound casual.
He looks at you, his expression a mix of frustration and something else you can't quite place. "Hey, uh, I just wanted to say... about what Ned said earlier. I mean, he's just being, you know, Ned."
You nod. “It’s okay Peter, I think it’s cool you know Spider-Man.” Everything about him is cool.
Peter’s eyes widen slightly at your words. "Really? You do?" He seems both relieved and surprised by your reaction. He crosses his arms, trying to seem casual. “And, uh… what do you think about Spider-Man?”
Peter's question catches you off guard. You stare at him, a bit taken aback by his curiosity. “Well, I think he’s a hero,” you shrug. “Reliable.”
Peter kind of… stares. In awe of you. Then he snaps out of it, cheeks flushing as he looks down.
He clears his throat, changing the subject. “So, uh… you going to Liz’s party?”
You hadn't considered it, but the idea of spending more time with Peter, even if Liz is there, is tempting. Even so…
You purse your lips. “Probably not.”
He furrows his brows. “What? Who am I gonna go with?”
You snort. “Ned? Who else?”
“You.” He says it so absolutely it almost makes you fall to your knees. The idea is both thrilling and a bit nerve-wracking. The last thing you want is to feel out of place at a party, especially with your growing feelings for Peter.
“You want me to go with you?” you ask, trying to sound nonchalant even though your heart is racing.
Peter nods earnestly, his gaze locking onto yours. “Yeah. I mean, if you’re up for it. It’d be… nice.”
“I’ll… think about it.”
Peter’s face brightens up instantly, a mixture of relief and excitement evident. “Ok. Cool! I’ll, um. Hope to see you there.” And then he’s off to do his own thing.
When you arrive at Liz's house, you immediately spot MJ, and it puts your mind at ease. She’s in her own world, happy to snack on the foods there. She looks up as you approach.
“Sup.”
“Hi.”
You stand together awkwardly. Well, you’re awkward, and she’s cool. The party is in full swing, with music playing and people milling about, making the large living room feel even more crowded.
It’s embarrassing how fast you spot Peter. It’s as soon as he arrives. He’s decided to keep it casual, but you think he looks good. Really good. God, MJ was right, you are down bad.
Speaking of which, she nudges you and nods her head in Peter and Ned’s direction. “You should go say hi to him.”
“But…” Liz is there. To be fair, she’s probably only greeting them. Saying ‘thanks for coming’ you know. But even so… you’re not sure you want to watch Peter’s attention stay on Liz when you’re also there.
You take a deep breath and muster up the courage to approach Peter. MJ gives you a supportive nod, and you make your way over to them.
“Hi, Peter,” you greet, trying to sound casual despite the fluttering in your chest.
Peter turns to you, his face lighting up with a genuine smile that makes your stomach flip. “[Name]! You’re here.” His eyes are warm and welcoming, and for a moment, you forget about the rest of the party.
You nod, peering around him to greet Ned. “Hi, Ned.”
He gives you a small wave. “Hey, [Name].”
Peter's smile widens as he steps a little closer to you, clearly excited that you're there. His eyes roam your figure. “You look good.”
Your face warms. “Thanks. You too.”
“Dude. Peter,” says Ned, grabbing Peter’s arm. He begins to pull Peter away. “Sorry, [Name]. Gotta talk to him about something.” Peter looks affronted by Ned’s behavior, sending an apologetic glance your way.
You watch as Peter and Ned head off to the side, leaving you standing by yourself. A little awkwardly, you try to blend in with the crowd, scanning the room.
“Penis Parker, what’s up?”
Ugh, Flash. Who let him on the sound desk? He says a few mocking words, and suddenly Peter’s walking off somewhere.
You jog to catch up to him. “Peter, please don’t listen to Flash. He’s just an asshole.”
Peter stops in his tracks, looking back at you with a mixture of surprise and frustration. He opens his mouth to say something, but then closes it, clearly struggling to find the right words.
“[Name],” he starts, voice honey sweet, “I’m not worried about Flash, I just…” He looks around for a moment, searching for whatever words he wants to say. “I gotta go do something. I’ll be back.”
You watch as Peter rushes out of the house, deflated. You feel a mixture of concern and confusion. The party goes on as if nothing happened, but your thoughts are entirely focused on him.
In a moment of impulsiveness, you decide to follow him. The cool night air hits you as you step out onto the porch, scanning the surroundings for any sign of Peter. Damn, where did he go? He’s fast. You walk down the front steps, glancing around. “Peter!” you call out, trying to catch his attention.
A movement catches your eye. Around the side of the house, on top of the neighboring ledge, there’s someone there. Your ears can barely pick up the rustling of clothes. Weird place to change clothes. How the hell did that guy even up there?
Wait a damn minute.
That guy is Peter. How the hell did he get up there so damn quick?
You keep yourself pressed against the wall, peeking around the corner. Why the hell is Peter even changing his clothes? He looks fine. Good, even. Wait, he’s changing his clothes. Maybe you shouldn't be spying on him, that’s weird. Oh, wait, he’s wearing something underneath. Something red and black, with web patterns on and a spider symbol on his chest.
Oh. Oh!
What the fuck!
As Peter pulls his undershirt off, you get a glimpse of him in his full Spider-Man glory. Holy shit, Peter Parker is Spider-Man. You knew there was something special about him, but this? This is a whole different level. The red and black suit, with its sleek, form-fitting design, is unmistakable. The spider emblem on his chest is a dead giveaway.
You swallow down the knot in your throat, willing your body to turn and go back inside.
He doesn’t come back.
You leave when Flash starts his ‘when I say Penis, you say Parker’ chant.
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The yellow blazer feels tacky, but you’re required to wear it as part of the Academic Decathlon. Though, MJ isn’t wearing hers, so maybe you can get away with taking it off until you get to D.C.. But MJ is MJ.
“Hey, it’s Peter!”
What.
You turn around, seeing Peter run up to your group. Peter’s face is bright with excitement as he approaches your group. His usual nervousness is replaced by an eagerness you haven’t seen before. It’s like a different side of him is on display.
“I was hoping I could rejoin the team,” he says, looking at Liz.
And he’s welcomed back with open arms. He decides to sit next to you. You’re pretty sure because it’s closest to Liz, and because Ned has decided to sit in the back. You wonder if Ned knows his identity.
He nudges you with his arm. You’re snapped back to reality, looking at him. He’s staring at you, brows furrowed just the smallest bit. You feel your traitorous heart skip a beat, like it always does when he’s around.
“You okay? You’re quiet,” he murmurs, voice low.
You manage to nod, not having much to say. Are you mad that Peter kept this secret from you? No, of course not. There was never any obligation for him to tell you, or even anyone. It’s a pretty big secret to have, after all. Though, now you wonder if him being Spider-Man has something to do with that Stark internship…
Peter’s eyes linger on you, a mix of concern and curiosity. You can sense he’s trying to gauge how you’re feeling. It’s a little uncomfortable, you’ve never really had to lie to him before, and you’re not sure if you’ll be able to. You’ve just discovered one of the biggest secrets in your life, and it’s about someone who’s become so important to you.
His phone starts ringing. You peak at it, someone by the name of ‘Happy’. Weird name, but okay. He moves to the back of the bus to take, settling in next to Ned.
You sigh, slouching in your seat. You can’t believe your life.
At least you get to room with MJ. You’re just about to fall asleep when Liz comes knocking on your door, saying that she and the rest of the team are going to sneak down to the pool. MJ decides she’s going to come. For ‘enrichment’ she says. You on the other hand… kind of just want to stay inside right now.
Until another knock on your door rouses you from your would-be sleep. Again . You grumble as you make your way to your door, opening it to find Peter, his face a mix of uncertainty and hopefulness. “Hey,” he says, looking nervous. His hood is over his head. You think he’s got his suit under there.
You don’t bother trying to fix up your appearance since you truly doubt he doesn’t see you like that. “Hello?”
“Uh,” he mumbles, gesturing away from him. “You… weren’t with the others. Are you not going to go with them? To the pool?
You shake your head. “No, not feeling it.”
“Oh,” he nods, like it was obvious. “Are you, sick or something?”
“No.” You don’t mean to be blunt with him, but you don’t really know how to act around him anymore.
“Oh, Okay.” He shifts back and forth on his feet. “Can I come in?”
You open the door wider to let him in, never able to say no to him. Peter steps are hesitant and awkward, deciding to sit on the leaning against your bed, while you sit on the mattress.
“So..?” you prompt.
Peter licks his lips, looking down to fiddle with the hem of his hoodie. “I, um, wanted to talk. About... the party. Liz’s party.” For a moment, your heart races. Did he know you were there? He glances up, his gaze meeting yours with a mix of vulnerability and determination. “I didn’t mean to, uh, leave you hanging. I just... had to go take care of something.”
You nod, understanding differently to what he knows. “It’s okay, Peter. I get it. I mean, you had... you had something important to do.”
Peter takes a deep breath, clearly relieved by your reaction. “I just... I didn’t want you to think I was avoiding you or anything. I shouldn’t have left you hanging like that.”
Peter’s earnestness tugs at your chest. He’s going to give you a damn sweet tooth. You can’t help but feel a mix of admiration and frustration. “Peter, it’s fine,” you say softly. “You don’t owe me any explanations.”
He shakes his head, his expression earnest. “But I do. I care about you, and I don’t want there to be any misunderstandings between us.”
Your heart skips another traitorous beat at his words. His sincerity is disarming, and you find yourself wanting to reassure him, even though you’re the one grappling with this newfound knowledge about his double life. Why does he have to say things like that?
“Are you not going to the pool?” you ask, gesturing to his get-up.
He scratches his cheek, shaking his head. “No I… gotta… do something.” His voice gets quieter the more he speaks, realizing he’s just quoted the very thing he just apologized for. You snort, unable to help yourself in reaching out a brushing a curl away from his face. His eyes soften, and he reaches out, tentatively taking your hand.
Your fingers brush against his, and there's a moment of silence as you both just look at each other. Peter’s grip is gentle, as if he's afraid of pushing too much, too soon. You feel the warmth of his hand, and for a second, you forget about the secrets and the confusion.
After a moment, Peter clears his throat, his expression shifting back to a more familiar, awkward smile. You snap back to reality. “You should, uh, probably go do that thing.”
He nods, not meeting your eyes. “Yup. Gonna go do that thing now.”
He’s out the door before you can blink.
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Peter doesn’t come back in time for the Academic Decathlon. MJ wins you the last point, anyway.
You’re just out of earshot as Ned talks to what you assume is Peter on the phone. You look away when Liz takes the phone and begins to speak to him.
Your coach decides it’ll be fun to have a tour of the Washington Monument. You zone out during the long elevator ride, thoughts drifting to Peter. Always Peter. You wonder if you were his girlfriend, would he look to you to patch him up when patrol gets rough? Would he take you away, swinging through the night while he tells you how pretty you look–
There’s a bright light, and everything goes deafening as a loud sound explodes within the elevator. Everything comes to a stop. Ned throws his backpack on the ground, frightened.
“Oh my God. Look at the ceiling.” There’s terrifying scorch marks on it.
“Just stay calm, everyone.”
“Oh, we are all going to die here.”
You don’t listen to anymore of what anyone has to say, too focused on steadying yourself against the wall. Holy shit. Peter better be hauling ass back here, now .
Security pushes the failing doors open, and the elevator hatch is opened as your group is prepared for evacuation. It’s a scary process, and you feel like you’re just waiting for the elevator to give up and start plummeting.
Flash, always an asshole, shoves Liz out of the way, taking the trophy with him. You scoff in disbelief as he says, “Take my trophy!” ready to give him a piece of your mind, because by God, you are in a life or death situation and he still finds the time of day to be himself–
Speaking of death.
The elevator just gave up.
You are actively falling to your resting place right now.
You can’t hear anything over the sound of everybody else’s scream. You can’t even bring yourself to scream. Even as you’re about to die, you hold yourself back, just as you always have. You’ve held yourself back when it comes to school, not putting in as much effort as you could’ve, and you’ve held yourself back from telling Peter how you feel.
Now you’ll never get too.
Except the elevator jerks to a stop, almost sending you to the floor.
There’s a web attached to the top. You can barely see a red clad figure connected to it.
Nevermind, maybe you will get to.
And then the doors he’s held up against break off the hinges and you’re falling again, spider included like a package deal. The damned box catches itself on something, and the love of your life has a rough landing as he falls into the elevator with you. Oof.
Unfortunately his impact knocks the elevator off, and you’re falling. Again. If you make it out of this alive, you’re going to take a five year nap. Peter, with all of his amazing smarts, sends a web to the top of the shaft and plants himself upside down in the elevator, stopping the thing.
He clears his throat. “Hey, how you doing? Don’t worry. I got you.” Why do you love this loser.
You stand with your whole body tense as Peter makes the perilous journey of dragging your group back up, slowly and steadily. You’re gripping the handrail so tightly your knuckles turn white. Every jolt and creak of the elevator feels like a death sentence. But Peter – no, Spider-Man – is pulling you up, inch by inch.
Ned is out first, then Mr. Harrington, and Liz clutches your hand tightly as it’s just the two of you left.
But then the floor shoots out from under your feet. Liz, ever so pretty and ever so brave, jumps out, reaching a hand for Spider-Man.
She misses, and for a split second it’s just you and her falling. And then there’s a thwip sound and suddenly you’re not falling. You’re just hanging. Hanging by a thread. Or a web, you should say.
“You’re okay. You’re okay.” It’s the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard.
Spider-Man grips Liz’s hand so tight and so assuredly, you feel like everything’s okay. Liz’s hand feels warm. Really warm. Probably all the sweat from it.
The sweat from it.
Sweat that’s making your grip come loose.
Liz looks down, terrified. “She’s slipping.”
“What–” chokes Peter.
And your hand falls from her grip. This time, you let yourself scream. The mask Peter wears gets tinier and tinier as you fall. The sensation of free-fall is overwhelming. It’s like you’re completely weightless. You wonder if this is how Peter feels when he’s swinging through New York. You also wonder he ever feels the twisting of your stomach.
You feel something wrap around your waist tightly. You’re yanked back up with a sharp tug. The warmth of an arm is something you’re not all that foreign to. You’ve been hugged by your family and friends before. But not like this. It… kind of feels like home.
“I got you, [Name].” Is whispered in your ear like a prayer. “I won’t let you fall.”
Peter’s voice in your ear is like a lifeline, pulling you out of the chaos and fear. The sheer relief of his presence makes your heart pound in your chest. You cling to him, arms wrapped tightly around his neck as he swings you both out of the elevator shaft and onto the relative safety of the doorway.
You can hear the panicked voices of your friends, but all you can focus on is Peter, his breath coming in quick gasps, his suit slightly torn but his grip on you unyielding. 
“Are you okay?” he asks, voice trembling slightly.
You can only nod, your throat too tight with emotion to speak. Tears blur your vision as you look at him, your best friend, your hero, the boy you've been in love with for so long.
"You saved me," you whisper, your voice breaking.
Peter tilts his head, voice  a little wobbly but genuine. "Couldn't let you fall," he says simply, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
He gently lets go of you, leaving you to connect back to the real world again.
“So, uh, is everyone okay?” And just like that, things go back to the way they were.
Then the piece of metal he’s hanging upside-down from breaks off, and he’s falling down the shaft.
He’ll be fine.
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The school news plays on a nearby team, retelling the events in which you almost died. Weird flex, but okay.
You’re on your way to your next class when arms suddenly wrap around you. You blink. Uh…
“I’m so glad you’re okay,” says a sweet voice. Ah, Peter. Who else but Peter? You smile and melt into his embrace. “Hi, Peter.”
He pulls back slightly, his eyes scanning your face as if checking for any hidden injuries. “You sure you’re alright? That was... intense.”
You shrug. “Yeah.” Then, you feel like being mean. Only a little bit. As a treat. “How would you know, though? You weren’t there.”
Peter’s eyes widen in confusion, a frown pulling at his lips. “What do you mean? I was there. I–” Then he stops himself. He was there, just not as Peter. You raise a brow.
Peter’s face goes through a series of expressions—confusion, realization, and finally, a nervous chuckle. “Oh. Right.” He scratches the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I just–”
You roll your eyes halfheartedly. “Had to do that thing, I know.” Maybe you’d be more upset if you didn’t know any better, but you do. Maybe you’re just tired from everything.
Peter’s apology falters as he looks at you with those big, apologetic eyes. He seems so earnest, so genuinely concerned. He gives you those puppy dog eyes, filled with guilt and embarrassment.
“Look,” you say, taking a deep breath to steady yourself, “it’s fine. Really. I’m just glad you’re not hurt.”
“Come on,” he whines halfheartedly. “Let me make it up to you.”
You look at Peter, a mix of exhaustion and affection in your eyes. Despite everything that happened, you can’t help but find his earnestness endearing. “Alright,” you say, managing a small smile. “Here’s my proposal.”
Peter's eyes light up with a hopeful glimmer, and he leans in closer, eager to hear your proposal. You take a deep breath, feeling the weight of the day lifting off your shoulders as you prepare to make your request.
“If neither of us get a homecoming date,” you begin, watching as Peter’s eyes flick back and forth between yours, “we’ll go together.”
Peter's eyes widen with surprise and a hint of nervousness. For a moment, he seems lost in thought, processing your proposal. He takes a deep breath, as if trying to steady his racing heart, and then he nods with a flushed face.
"Deal," he says, his voice steadying. "But let's hope neither of us ends up dateless, okay? I mean, it's homecoming. It should be fun."
His words kind of sting. He basically just said he hopes he can find a date that’s not you. You’re not sure if the fact that he’s willing to go with you if things don’t work out is a good thing or not.
“Yeah, let’s hope,” you reply, trying to keep your tone light. Peter gives you a reassuring smile, though there’s an awkward tension between you now.
“Parker, my office.”
Peter looks at you exasperated. You shrug. Looks like Peter has detention.
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The next couple of days, Peter looks down in the dumps.
He just seems… less like himself. Still as sweet as ever, holding doors open for you and carrying your bag. It’s hard to miss the way his usual enthusiasm is replaced by a constant air of melancholy.
You notice him moping in the hallways, his usual banter replaced by awkward silences. In class, he doesn’t seem any different, but you can tell the way he zones out when he’s not answering a question.
You try to give him space, but it’s hard to ignore the sense of worry you feel. You don’t want to pry, but you also don’t want him to sink into a deeper funk. Perhaps it’s in your nature to want to make him happy.
May greets you with a smile when she sees you on your doorstep. She’s always been kind to you. Maybe too kind. May always let little teasing comments about you too getting together slip. Peter always waved away her comments, chuckling awkwardly and saying ‘she’s just kidding’. Not very healthy for your heart.
Peter’s sitting on his bed, lost in thought. He jerks up as soon as you enter, staring at you in surprise. “[Name]!”
“Hi,” you greet, coming to sit next to him.
“What are you doing here?”
“Well, I can leave if you want,” you hum, point a thumb out the door. It’s mostly a joke, you really hope he doesn’t actually want you to leave.
Peter looks a bit flustered by your presence. “No, no, don’t go. I just… didn’t know you were coming.”
You lean back on your hands. “Well, when you’ve been acting weird the last couple of days, I’m gonna get worried.”
Peter slumps in on himself, sighing. He contemplates for a second before meeting your eyes. “I lost the internship.”
The internship. The Stark internship. The one you’re pretty sure is a cover for him being Spider-Man. Who hasn’t been active in a couple of days. Oh.
You give him a sympathetic look. “Peter, I’m so sorry.”
Peter nods, his gaze dropping to the floor. “Yeah, well, it’s my own fault. I was… I messed up. Tried to overcompensate, and it didn’t work out.”
You can see the frustration and disappointment in his eyes. He’s always been so driven, so dedicated. To see him like this, struggling with something that clearly matters to him, tugs at your heartstrings.
“It’s not your fault,” you say gently, trying to offer him some comfort. “Sometimes things just don’t go as planned, no matter how hard you try.”
Peter offers a small, bitter smile. “I guess. It’s just… I don’t know.” He looks in a faraway corner. “It was all I had.”
You purse your lips, wanting to scream ‘you have me!’, but you can’t bring yourself to.
Peter clears his throat. “At least I got that date with Liz.”
…Huh?
You think there’s a ringing in your ears. Your heart sinks as Peter mentions Liz. It feels like a punch to the gut. You try to mask your surprise, keeping your tone steady. "Wait, you got a date with Liz?"
“Yeah…” he chuckles shyly. “I asked her to homecoming. She said yes.”
You nod slowly, trying to process this new information. It's not exactly a blow to your heart, but it's definitely unsettling. Peter, the person you’ve had feelings for, is going out with someone else.
Though, you shouldn’t be surprised, really. You knew Peter liked Liz. If the way he stared at her wasn’t obvious enough, then the fact that he asked her to hoco is. And the fact that she said yes… God, you need to get over yourself. It’s not the end of the world. You just…
You really wanted to go with him.
“So… who’s your date?” he asks, oblivious to your inner turmoil.
You bring your legs up, wrapping your arms around them. “Nobody. I think… I’m not gonna go.”
Peter’s face falls at your words. He opens his mouth as if to say something, but then closes it, clearly at a loss for words. “Why not?”
You shrug. “I don’t have a date. Don’t wanna go alone.”
He furrows his brows. “I thought you did.”
Now it’s your turn to look confused. “No. Why did you think that?”
“You…” he trails off, looking lost. “I heard you. Talking about your crush”
“When did you hear that?”
He gulps, turning away guiltily. “In. Gym… class.”
You take a moment to think back. The only time you ever talked about your crush in gym was with MJ, that time Ned mentioned Peter knows Spider-Man. But that time…
“How did you hear that?” you ask, kind of knowing the answer. “You were, like, twenty feet away from me.”
He blushes. “I, uh… have really good hearing?”
You squeeze your eyes shut. Whatever. At least you didn’t mention Peter’s name. “Yeah, well, he doesn’t like me back. So.”
Peter’s face softens as he processes your words, a mixture of guilt and concern evident in his expression. “I’m sorry,” he says quietly.
“Don’t be. He likes someone else. Can’t be helped.”
Peter is silent for a moment, his eyes searching your face as if trying to gauge your feelings. There’s a tension in the air, a weight that seems to hang between you. He opens his mouth to say something, but no words come out.
You breathe, patting your thighs as you stand up. “Hope you have fun, though.”
Peter watches you go, feeling like he missed something.
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True to your word, you don’t go to homecoming. You spend the night watching a movie and eating popcorn. You don’t cry, but you do sniffle.
You catch wind of the battle between this guy (Liz’s dad , holy shit, you hope she’s doing okay) and Spider-Man. The next time you see him at school, you run up to him.
“Peter!” you shout.
Peter snaps out of his thoughts, turning to you. A small smile creeps up on his face at the sight of you. “Hey, what’s up–”
His words stutter to a stop as your arms wrap around him. Peter freezes for a moment, clearly taken aback by your sudden hug. Slowly, his arms come up to return the embrace, holding you tightly. He feels warm and solid against you, a comforting presence despite everything that's happened.
“What’s wrong?” he asks softly.
You melt into his embrace. “Just glad you’re okay.”
He pulls back to look at you, arms dropping to hang around your waist. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
You can’t help yourself, cupping his cheek gently. Peter's eyes widen slightly at the tenderness of your touch. For a moment, he just stares at you, as if trying to decipher the reason behind your concern. He ever so slightly leans into your hand, doe eyes looking into you.
“You’ve just… been through a lot lately,” you decide to say.
Peter takes a deep breath, his gaze dropping to your hands resting on his cheek. He seems to be grappling with his emotions, his usual composure wavering. “I didn’t realize you were so concerned,” he admits, his voice barely above a whisper.
You smile gently, brushing your thumb across his cheek. “Of course I am. You’re important to me, Peter.”
Peter’s mouth opens and closes, unable to form words. He gulps, shifting on his feet. The tension in the air is thicker than it’s ever been, though you can’t tell why.
Peter thinks he just had an epiphany.
He takes a deep breath, hands on your waist tightening. “Hey, um. Can I… can we talk later? After school?”
You nod. “Yeah, of course.”
Peter nods as well. “Cool, cool.” His hands fall from your waist when his phone buzzes, and you finally feel like you can breathe. “I gotta take this,” he says, already walking away from you.
Peter texts you before the last bell rings, saying that something came up and if you can push your talk a few hours ahead. Your fingers shake as you type out your reply agreeing. You do your homework in silence, foot tapping up and down nervously. The sun is on the cusp of setting when there’s a knock on your door.
“Hey,” Peter greets you when you open it. He looks out of breath, like he just ran here.
“Hey,” you respond, trying to keep your voice steady.
Peter shifts nervously on his feet, glancing around before focusing on you. “You’re parents home?”
You raise a brow. “No..?”
“Good.” He moves past you, making his way to your living room. You close the door and follow him, heart pounding in your chest. Peter paces for a moment before taking a deep breath and turning to face you.
“I,” he starts, voice unsteady, “have been doing a lot of thinking.”
You remain silent, waiting for him to continue. Peter runs a hand through his hair, clearly struggling to find the right words. “I’ve been focused on the wrong things. I know I haven’t really… been there. So, I’m sorry for that.” He wrings his hands together. You watch Peter with a mixture of anticipation and concern, your heart racing as he continues to struggle with his words.
“And, um, I guess, what I’m trying to say is…” He looks directly into your eyes, a mixture of vulnerability and resolve in his expression. He takes a deep breath.
“I–”
“–Know,” you blurt.
Peter’s mouth flops open like a fish out of water. “Uh. What?”
You purse your lips. Cat’s out of the bag. “I know you’re Spider-Man.”
Peter stares incredulously at you. “I… saw. When you went outside to change at Liz’s party. You just left, and I followed you, and for some reason you were changing in front of a big ass window without your mask on? So, literally anyone could’ve saw you, so that might be more your fault than mine–”
“[Name].” Peter's voice cuts through your rambling, and he takes a step closer, hands coming to grasp yours. “You… know?”
You gulp. “Well, yeah? That’s what I just said.”
He lets out a breathy chuckle, shoulders hunching. He brings your hands up to his mouth, lightly kissing them. It sends your heart cracking through your ribs. “[Name], that’s not what I was gonna say.”
You look up at Peter, confusion and anticipation mingling in your eyes. He seems almost relieved, a soft smile gracing his lips as he holds your hands close. The moment feels suspended, and you can hear the quiet hum of the evening outside, adding to the atmosphere of calm and intensity.
“I like you. I really like you.”
You feel your breath catch in your throat, the words sinking in as if time has momentarily stopped. Peter’s eyes are locked on yours, filled with sincerity and a vulnerability that’s rare to see from him. The warmth of his hands around yours feels electrifying, grounding you in the moment.
“...I thought you liked Liz,” you whisper.
“I thought I did too,” he mutters, close. “But I was being stupid. I thought you liked someone else, so I stayed away.” He shakes his head. “But I can’t anymore.”
“How do you know it’s you I like?” you croak.
“Apart from you basically just admitting it?” He smiles cheekily. “MJ told me.”
You click your tongue. “Meddler.”
“She said she got tired of our bullshit.”
You giggle quietly, head dropping. Peter doesn’t take his eyes off of you, biting his lip in anticipation. You squeeze his hands gently, still processing the whirlwind of emotions. “So, what now?”
Peter’s expression softens, and he takes another step closer, his gaze never leaving yours. “Can I… can I kiss you?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.
Your heart flutters at his words. “Yes,” you say, almost breathless.
Peter leans in slowly, his eyes fluttering shut as his lips meet yours in a gentle, tender kiss. It’s a kiss filled with all the unspoken emotions, a release of the tension and a celebration of what’s finally come to light. The world outside seems to fade away, leaving just the two of you in this perfect, shared moment.
As Peter's lips linger on yours, the kiss deepens, becoming more passionate yet still tender. You feel the warmth of his body, the soft pressure of his lips, and the gentle caress of his hands around yours. The kiss seems to hold everything that had been unsaid, all the confusion, the longing, and the relief of finally being on the same page
When you finally pull back, both of you are smiling, the weight of recent days seeming lighter. Peter’s eyes are full of warmth and affection, and he holds you close, his forehead resting against yours.
“Will you, um… be my–”
“–Guy in the chair? Sure, Pete. It’d be my pleasure.”
Peter hides his grin in your neck. “Sorry. Ned beat you to it.”
“Barely seconds into this relationship and you’ve already betrayed me,” you scoff playfully.
“So we’re dating now?” His voice sounds hopeful.
“Duh.” You’ve never been more sure. “Pete, I’ve been down bad for you ever since you gave me that pencil.”
He pulls back, looking at you with heartbreaking eyes. He leans in to kiss you on the forehead, then pulls back slightly, his expression soft and sincere. "I’m really sorry about homecoming. I’ll take you to prom and we’ll have the best night of our lives.”
You’re pretty sure the best night of your life will be when you and Peter get married, but maybe you’re getting ahead of yourself. “I heard you dumped her there as soon as you got there, anyway. If you ever do that to me I’ll make sure you can never be Spider-Man again.”
He nods his head seriously. “Yes, ma’am.” Then he grins, giddy with the outcome of the situation. “I’ll still make it up to you.”
“I can think of a few ways.”
He blushes, scandalized. “[Name]!”
“Down bad for a long time, Pete,” you remind him. “Like I said, my parents aren’t here…”
He scoffs, shoving you away slightly before pulling you back to him, not willing to let you go after he finally has you. The two of you stand there, holding each other, savoring the quiet and the closeness. The weight of the past few days lifts, replaced by a renewed sense of connection and possibility. It feels like the beginning of something new and wonderful, a chance to explore this newfound closeness and see where it takes you both.
“Can we just. Go out to dinner or something?” he asks, thumb rubbing at your waist. “We could use some celebration, I think."
You smile, feeling a surge of warmth at his thoughtfulness. "That sounds perfect."
As you both head out the door, hand in hand, the evening feels full of promise. With the uncertainties of the past few days behind you, you're ready to embrace whatever comes next—together.
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notes: i wanted reader to drop the "i know ur spiderman" bomb and somehow find a way out of the conversation and now peter has to try to confess to them but he just cant get a hold of them for whatever reason. but that would be like a whole nother 3k or more words and like... this fic already too long LOL
thanks for reading !!
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lucysarah-c · 4 months
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Question, let’s say reader is mid twenties around when the main cast (Eren, mikasa, jean, & everyone else) is around 18-19. Levi has a thing for reader & so does maybe like Connie or one of the other “main cast”, main cast is always egging on Connie (or someone else) to try their shot with reader, but Levi and reader are kinda lowkey becoming a thing / do you think Levi would like intervene or just stay quiet when someone from the main cast is openly flirting / pinning with / for reader? Like would he go into dad mode and be like “that ain’t smart” or just not do anything lol, your head canon of course.
Hi~~ How are you?
Oh, that’s such a great scenario. Especially at that age, you think you’re being subtle, but you’re actually grinning like a fool. I imagine if they’re crushing on her and Levi, she might be a new recruit in the Scouts. Many joined them after the uprising, or she could be working on the train stations they’re building or around the camps set up for foreigners.
She might try not to pay it much mind. If she’s dating Levi, who’s probably in his mid-thirties by now, and she’s in her mid-twenties, then Connie or Jean at 18-19 must look like kids to her. She might think they’re too young and remind herself that many of them have lost their mothers, so they could be seeking a bit of a motherly touch.
But Levi? Levi likely thinks, "I know exactly what was on my mind when I was 18-19, and it had nothing to do with my mother." He probably wouldn’t interfere directly or give them advice. The most he might do is throw out a sassy remark here and there, but nothing more.
I can picture him rolling his eyes at their attempts to flirt with her while she looks visibly uncomfortable. Levi wouldn’t see them as real competition—they’re like his kids, after all. If Jean and Armin are being overly suggestive about what she should do or gossiping about Connie’s practice sessions, Levi might say, "Jean, leave her alone. Unlike you, she has better things to do than bother someone else."
If Connie is being too persistent, Levi might respond with, "She’s trying to work."
And if they’re staring at her too much, he might smack the back of their heads and say, "Stop looking at her like she’s a piece of meat. Be respectful."
Levi’s reactions come mostly from a place of wanting them to have manners and not be creepy. He believes that’s not how you treat a woman. For me is definetly, more "dad mode!" than anything else!
In the end, it might be her who subtly lets them know she’s taken.
Thank you! I really enjoyed this ask—it was fun to think about!
Link to my masterlist and my other works if you feel like checking them out. Tags!: @nube55 @justkon @notgoodforlife @nmlkys @humanitys-strongest-bamf @quillinhand @thoreeo @darkstarlight82 @angelofthorr @aomi04 @levisbrat25 @l3visthighs @hum4n-wr3ckag3 @hannieslovebot @starrylevi @rithty @mariaace @ackrmntea @emilyyyy-08 @levisfavoriteteashop @katestrophes @levistealeaf @an-ever-angry-bi @youre-ackermine @fxnnyackerman @secretmoneybearvoid @trashblackrainbow @flxrartsstuff @katharinasdiaryy @levisecretgfblog @searriously @blackdxggr @ackermanswifee @galactict3a @abiatackerman @braunsbabe @moonchild-12345 Wanna join my tag list? Here!
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weast-of-eden · 7 months
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I've been thinking about how I could contribute to the ACD/Granada Sherlock Holmes fandom for a while, seeing as I'm neither an artist, a writer, or anything actually useful lol. But then I realized something I myself always treasure are curated fic recs, which I could actually do! I've read probably like 25% of all the h/w ACD and Granada fics on ao3, so I compiled a short list for anyone who is just starting out with the fandom. Without further ado, may I present
Eden’s Top Picks for Beginning ACD/Granada Fics:
(edit: i made a second list here!!)
The Adventure of the Doctor's Heart by mistyzeo 12k | Rated E Summary: Holmes has observed much of Watson's habits and tastes over time, which is why it surprises him when his friend objects strangely to a folk song sung at the conclusion of a case. Disturbed by the Doctor's unexpected display of emotion, Holmes becomes determined to lift his spirits by any means necessary, with mixed results. Notes: obviously if you're going to read canonverse h/w, you are going to read mistyzeo. this one is just so good and angsty and features music (!!). it's got some steaminess but it also has wooing. basically it has everything you ever need. this is my odyssey, my iliad, my hamlet, etc.
Cameo by what_alchemy 8k | Rated M | For Archive Users Only Summary: Holmes and Watson become embroiled in a case Scotland Yard refuses to acknowledge. A soulmate AU. Notes: i honestly skipped over this fic for a while, since i'm not the biggest fan of soulmate aus. do not make the same mistake i did, because this shit HITS. this fic has hit after hit: soulmate-mark based case for our main duo, angst, hiatus feels, MORE ANGST, and ofc a happy ending. ugh. read this fic if you enjoy being happy.
A Tide That Does Not Turn by tweedisgood 3k | Rated T Summary: Holmes is a very bad patient with a devoted doctor who adores him. Watson wishes it was safe to speak up, but his friend is a tide that does not turn. Notes: do NOT read this if you don't like angst... ok now i'm sensing a pattern. anyways this is the first hurt/no comfort fic i read for this tag and i literally have cried more than enough tears over it. poor, poor watson :( iconic author though, read everything they write!
The Adventure of the Glad Outlaw by radondoran 7k | Rated T Summary: While Sherlock Holmes solves the mystery of a student's disappearance, Dr. Watson is more puzzled by the changing dynamic between his flatmate and himself. Notes: cute pastiche! a nice little mystery and a nice little get-together. ahhhhhh.... this fic is like cotton candy to me, so sweet and fluffy. defo recommend
Hands by MinorObsessions (draculard) 1.4k | Rated T Summary: Naturally, there are some things Watson thinks about Holmes that don't make it into the books. Notes: i'm also in the star trek fandom, so if you know anything about that then you know that hands are kind of A Thing in both circles and ergo i now Have A Thing about hands. so this is a nice little ode to holmes' hands, featuring some doctoring by watson AND a nice reverse appraisal at the end. it's so sweet :)
Conductor of Light by ColebaltBlue  1.4k | Rated T Summary: A Victorian stiff upper lip won't prevent you from falling in love, but it might prevent you from realizing it. Notes: they finally get their shit together! honestly i would recommend this fic to anyone just starting out with h/w fics in any medium. the characterization and dialogue is A1, and their argument is really realistic to me, idk. also features the iconic HOUN quote for its title so props to that!
A (Mis)fortunate Man by sans_patronymic 1.5k | Rated T Summary: December, 1880. Watson writes a note which may be his last. December, 1899. Watson writes back. Notes: READ THE TAGS BEFORE READING. this was a gut-wrenching read but god i cried at the end for watson. don't worry, this one has a happy ending. ugh now i wish there was a second chapter where watson lets holmes read the letters. to sum up: oof, my heart
The Second Smartest Man in London by FairSinner 73k | Rated E Summary: Dr John Watson returns from Afghanistan to Victorian London, wounded, traumatised and alone. When he meets Sherlock Holmes, his life begins to seem worth living again. But Holmes is a man who despises sentiment and Watson cannot seem to expunge it from his heart. Notes: congrats, you've made it to the end!! so now i must confess that it's been a loooong time since i've read this fic, but the private note i left on my bookmark was just "holy shit", so i'm sure it's a banger. i'm also sure it has angst because i love angst and i love bookmarking angst so i can read it again and again and suffer infinitely. enjoy :)
anyways, now that i've put these all here i realized how much i enjoy angst and hurt/no comfort fics. if any of you guys have a favorite fic you want to link or want to plug your own writing, feel free to!
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amyyythestarry · 8 months
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Smiling Critters HCs!
( Mostly Dogday and Catnap )
I’ve gotten interested in Poppy playtime, especially with the smiling critters and me and my sister literally just came up with random hcs and scenarios for them if they had a cartoon. So now I’m sharing the ideas.
Catnap always sleeping.
Dogday and Catnap are the main characters of the show, but Dogday is the only one who is actively committing the role.
( Not to be confused with this being a thing where they are acting in the show or anything. Like, they’re literally just in the show. If that makes sense )
Catnap, in every episode, is either sleeping, observing what’s going on and not really participating that much, or not in the picture in that episode. In this is just something with every episode of the series.
He can sleep automatically, just drop to the floor and knock out. So I feel like he’d use that ability to his advantage, to get out of trouble.
Scenario: Miss Delight comes into the critter’s playroom (?) and asks if anyone ate the last of the cookies and milk without permission.
Everyone is confused, because they’re all saying they didn’t do it. So they just assume someone’s lying, and they argue about it.
Catnap’s asleep somewhere in the corner.
He was sleepy before, but he made himself look busy with napping so nobody would suspect he ate the cookies and milk.
2. Copycat ( Literally an episode name me and my sister created. We are the best brainstormers ever ).
Dogday and the rest of the smiling critters are always trying to get Catnap to play with them/participate in what they are doing.
I imagine Catnap as one of those characters in cartoons that are semi-nonverbal, and just aloof, definitely. So he doesn’t speak much. He can, just doesn’t.
This is an early episode, apart of S1 or something, when they still haven’t heard Catnap say much of anything to them. Sure he plays with them sometimes, but the instances are little to nothing.
They’re in a park for recess, the smiling critters are just playing around with each other and everything. Catnap is in a tree trying to sleep.
And like in literally every episode/day, Dogday notices that Catnap isn’t hanging out with them, so he and his friends goes up to the tree and calls for him.
They all keep calling Catnap’s name, trying to get him to join their game of tag. And little do they know Catnap is kind of tired of their sh** and noisy pestering.
“Hey Catnap, come down and play tag with us!” - Dogday.
Catnap finally turns around to acknowledge the critters, looking down at them from the tree.
“Hey Catnap, come down and play tag with us.”
He purposely mimics what Dogday says.
And Day just replies with a small ‘what?’.
The critters all look at each other, swearing they just heard Nap speak.
“What did you say, Catnap?” - Kickin Chicken.
“What did you say, Catnap?”
Now the critters are actually shocked.
“Catnap, did you just speak?!” - Bobby Bearhug.
”Catnap, did you just speak?!”
He does this enough times to confuse everyone now. And then they actually start to get weirded out and they call Miss Delight.
”Miss Delight, Catnap is acting strange!”
Then Nap walks in suddenly, staring at all of them ( Kind of creepily ), as he says,
“Miss Delight, Catnap is acting strange.”
This continues for the whole episode. Just him copying what his friends say. But ONLY if it mentions his name. Because he’s tired of them always calling his name anyway.
I don’t know how the ep might end, but the smiling critters still bother Nap after the episode his over, and as he has already stopped with the copycat game. That is also deemed as the first time in the show that Catnap has spoken. Not the last, obviously, he continues to talk whenever he needs to, but it’s still kind of seldom.
3. Dogday’s allergies.
Dogs can’t eat a lot of things, so I think Day would not be allowed to eat a lot of things like a realistic dog.
It’s an episode where the critters are enjoying themselves during a picnic, Delight isn’t really around because it’s not a school day.
Picky Piggy offers some cookies to everyone that she made herself, and everyone takes one. Except for Dogday.
His excuse is that he oddly always feels sick whenever he eats chocolate chip cookies specifically, so he doesn’t try to eat cookies much.
Picky just pulls out another cookie flavor, oatmeal chocolate chip, and gives it to Day.
Day takes it, thinking that since this isn’t chocolate chip, it wouldn’t make him feel sick!
After eating two of those cookies, he does in fact feel sick. His stomach hurts and his bones exhaust.
Miss Delight makes him feel better with some special stomachache medicine or something.
All of the critters are confused and curious about this, so they try giving Day other cookies because they think not being able to eat cookies is just devastating.
So the whole episode they all make Day taste different cookies, to see which ones make him sick and which ones don’t. Not like an experiment, just to figure out why can’t he eat cookies like the rest of them.
At the near end, Day feels terrible, and they all go to Delight this time, enlightening her about the cookie problem.
And it instantly clicks to Delight once the children tell her what kind of cookies they’ve been giving to Dogday. M&M, double chocolate, cocoa confetti, and even red velvet cookies.
“Children…. You know, dog’s can’t eat chocolate, right?” - Delight.
They all did, in fact, not know that. Miss Delight tells them about it, and they finally understand why Dogday keeps feeling sick when eating cookies.
By the time Day’s also came to the realization, he vomits, the episode ends.
The next one is probably about Day’s friends taking care of him because he’s sick.
Which leads to my next hc anyways.
4. The conclusion of Dogday that Catnap doesn’t like him.
The reason why Dogday thinks that Catnap doesn’t like him, is because it somehow always seems like Nap is trying to kill him.
One of the instances, he’s always giving Day things he can’t eat.
Literally right after the cookie accident, only two days later, and Catnap gives him a treat of chocolate chip cookies. And milk. Both things Day cannot eat.
Scenario: The smiling critters are having breakfast together, in Miss Delight’s house as she makes them pancakes, eggs, bacon accompanying with vegetables and fruits of their choice.
Nap is sitting next to Day. He has pancakes and purple grapes, he loves grapes. Day has bacon and blueberries, giving that he’s not allowed to eat pancakes ( Diary ) and blueberries being his favorite.
Nap decides to be nice, and give Day some of his food, since he heard from Delight that sharing is caring.
He gives Dogday a grape to show kindness.
And Day only looks at the grape kind of confused. He asked why Nap would give this to him, and Nap doesn’t answer.
So Day just gently placed the grape back on Nap’s plate, telling him ‘no thank you’.
Then a minute passes, Dogday looks over at one of his friends for a bit of a second, and turns back at his plate to get another blueberry.
He sees a blueberry bigger than the others that wasn’t there before. It’s actually purple and not blue.
And oh. It’s a grape.
He turns to Catnap, and sees that the cat is only happily eating his pancakes and grapes. But still gives the fruit back to Nap.
“Sorry, bud, I can’t eat this..”
Catnap looks at him, and doesn’t say anything.
Dogday still side glances at Nap for a little while, to see if he’d do anything. Nap doesn’t do anything. He looks back at his plate. And is utterly bewildered on why all of his five blueberries are gone and why they’re now five purple grapes.
He swears Catnap did not move.
He doesn’t know that Catnap just used his long tail to put the grapes there.
Now he can feel Nap’s eyes on him, and knows he’s expecting him to eat the grapes, so he’s a little nervous.
Day doesn’t eat the grapes, and just tells Miss Delight that Nap keeps trying to get him to eat grapes.
Also, after the cookie accident, Miss Delight thought it was good to teach the kids about what their kinds ( Their animal kinds ) can and cannot eats especially dogs like Day.
Catnap was not listening the whole lecture, so he really has no clue why Day didn’t take his grapes.
I’m gonna make a PT 2!
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secondbeatsongs · 4 months
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Hello, you said in some tags in a poll that Speed Racer (2008) is your favorite film. If you’re okay with it, I’d really like to hear more about why you love it. I love the Wachowskis’ work (they’re among my favorite directors), but I kinda ended up bouncing off Speed Racer (2008). So, hearing that it had a real impact on someone makes me very curious why. I’m not interested in criticizing your opinion or arguing with you, I’d just really like to know why you love it in the hopes I might be able to enjoy that movie more in the future.
oh god this is from seven months ago, I'm so sorry - but I do love almost everything about Speed Racer (2008) and I still think about it nearly every day.
I love that it's so bright and colorful and absurd. I love that it's an anime in live action form. and I love that at its heart, it is a story about love.
it's about the mistakes people make out of love, and the consequences of that. it's about the way children grow to understand why the adults around them make the choices they do, and maybe choose to do the same things. it's about taking risks for the people you love, and the pain of failing to change the world, because everything is capitalism and everything hurts.
(and it's also about being transgender btw. like, that's one of the main things about it - it is very much a movie about being transgender)
what if your father's choices hurt your older brother, and your older brother's choices hurt you, and now it's you and your younger brother staring down a future where you're going to end up hurting him by making the same choice?
and then...what if you can escape that? what if the broken parts put themselves back together, and the hope doesn't run out, and you're not alone with the things that haunt you? what then?
and now you're at the end and mistakes were still made, people were still hurt, but everyone's grown and changed and they're different now. and they've figured out that maybe, just maybe, you can change the world by doing something you love, by creating art and beauty and making people feel things.
maybe you really can defeat capitalism by driving a car really fast. and even if everyone thinks you can't...don't you have to try anyway? shouldn't you fight with the skills you have, the only way you know how?
what if it works?
and I'm not even gonna get into most of the Racer X stuff (because I want people to go watch this movie, and most folks probably won't be spoiled for it), but his whole deal is just...everything. I love him.
(if there's a guy from Speed Racer that I want to put in a jar and shake every so often, or maybe wrap in a blanket so he can have a nice nap, it's Racer X. he's a great character. prime blorbo material)
anyway I've been rotating this movie in my head ever since I saw it for the first time, and I think I've seen it...seven? times now? and I still cry at the final race, and I still get blown away by the intro sequence.
(the beginning of the movie is genuinely one of the best things I've ever seen - it does an amazing job of introducing you to the world and the story of the characters, and gets you emotionally invested in it right from the start. it's fantastic filmmaking)
also like. story stuff aside, from a technical standpoint, the movie is a masterpiece. it's the type of thing that people hated when it first came out, but when you look at it now and see how it was made, how it intentionally looks bizarre and cartoonish, plastic and surreal, you can see the exact vision the Wachowskis were going for, and it's brilliant.
the way they did the visual effects, the way they made the outdoor scenes feel so detailed, the way the driving and the tracks work - they put so much thought into that, and the behind-the-scenes vids show how cool their process was.
also uhhh cars go vroom, crash into each other, flip upside down, explode, maybe have bees and hammers in them sometimes?
(the above is me complimenting the unhinged vibe of the races themselves, which I love very much)
anyway I could make other full posts about the script of the film and how much I love it, or the cool side characters, or the fanfic potential of the amazing world of the film, or how I can prove that it's set in 1991...but I guess if anyone wants those rants, they'll just have to watch the film and then come talk to me. :)
(please. please come talk to me about Speed Racer.)
so, yeah! I kinda lost my mind there and made this post way longer than I intended, but I do feel strongly affected by this movie, and I hope this has helped explain why.
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notjustjavierpena · 11 months
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Wake
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Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator
A/N: Finally another part of my darksugardaddy!joel. This has been sitting in my WIPs for a while, and I’m so pleased with how it turned out. Be kind to me as I haven’t written in a while and I feel terrible about starving you all of content.
Summary: Joel comes home to fuck your lights out. 
Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader/you (no y/n)
Tags: +18 smut, dub-con with non-con elements, painful and rough sex, p in v sex, choking, passing out, degradation, abusive behavior, creampie, dirty talk, no aftercare, sugar daddy, daddy kink
Word count: 2k
Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50908876
Wake
It’s a late afternoon when you come to a realization; you don’t love Joel Miller, and you don’t think you could ever love Joel Miller. He is everything that you’ve been taught to hate if you want to believe in fairytales. Your parents would disapprove of him so immediately that you’d be terrified of them cutting you off from them if they knew of his existence.
You’ve never had a man be this rough with you, and only occasionally stroking your hair in apology afterward, but you suppose that the copious amounts of money spent on you - clothes that feel like armor around regular men and expensive bottles of wine that might as well have been potions designed to make you insane - is enough to make up for any unpleasantries within what you don’t dare call a relationship. 
You don’t love him but you can’t hate him. Not in a way that any other person would. How else would you surround yourself with pretty things? You’re no good at anything else than being what he needs.
Whenever he has had a bad day, you know the roughness will increase. It always starts the same; with a slam of the mansion door and a hungry search for you through the obnoxiously large building. He calls for you and you don’t dare not to answer, and in the end, he finds you in the extravagant living room - one of many - with its gold-rimmed glass tables and Chesterfield couches. You’ve been reading a book, but you put it down the second he enters and don’t even bother asking to read to the next full stop. 
“There you are,” he almost heaves for breath with exhaustion from his anger. He isn’t angry at you - you know this - but still, you find yourself treading lightly when his voice is so cold that the living room seems to drop a few degrees in temperature and causing your nipples to harden at the sudden change.
Then, as part of your ritual, he gets a thick wad of bills from the inside pocket of his suit and places it on the nearest surface. A bank transfer won’t do in these situations. He needs something physical, something he can hold in his hand and flash before you, and you know that he wants you to fall to your knees and beg for the warmth and dirtiness of the printed bills against your clean skin.
You’re just about to when he interrupts you.
“There will be more when you wake,” he promises, voice almost too quiet and restrained. Like he is saving his strength. 
You notice his choice of words; when you wake.
Wake.
You gulp. You’ll have to take it in stride. You’ll have to play the part.
You rise from your seat and he watches you patiently. You say nothing as you lower yourself onto the glass table and then lie down on your back, knowing it can hold because Joel would never buy a surface that he couldn’t have you on. 
You’ve learned not to wear anything too difficult to get out of, so it takes little time for you to pull off your skirt. Though you struggle a bit with your underwear since they’re already damp, sticking to the outline of your cunt and the sight makes Joel smirk like the Devil. Curse him, you think, for knowing that you can barely function when he looms over you like a giant, like a dangerous predator that hasn’t tasted blood for weeks. 
When you manage to maneuver your panties down your thighs, he twitches with impatience and curls his whole fist around the cotton fabric. He yanks them down and watches them twist into themselves as he pulls them down over the length of your legs and off your feet. 
They catch on your heels for the tiniest second. He gracefully undoes the ankle straps of them and drops each one onto the floor after taking it off. The anticipation is killing you, toying with your ability to breathe properly and even moreso at the humiliation of only wearing your top now. 
“Pull it down,” he commands, gesturing to it. You start to yank at the bottom to pull it over your head but he growls, “Down. Not off, stupid bitch.”
Oh. 
You pull the neckline down to settle it underneath your breasts, feeling like something on display with the way that Joel takes you in. His cock strains against the front of his pants, his breath uneven, when he cups both of your tits in his hands and pushes them roughly together. His thumbs skim over your hardened nipples, causing you to moan and he responds by pinching them instead until the moan transforms into a whimper.
“I’m gonna fuck you until your pretty little lights go out,” he mutters, pinches, and then tugs a bit on your nipples until you move involuntarily, “Lie still. Don’t give me any shit.”
He takes a step back, his gaze pinning you down whilst he undoes his belt. You refrain from shivering in case he tells you off once more, but you’re so close to doing it when you hear the noise of his zipper. A gush of wetness seeps from you, possibly smearing the glass surface that you are lying on. 
“Please,” you say pathetically.
“Please what?” He asks as if he doesn’t care.
“Daddy,” you present your cunt for him by opening your legs and Joel instinctively looks at your quivering slit, “Please fuck me.”
Joel steps between your legs, using his knees to push them even further apart. He towers over you, cock standing impressively into the air after he has shoved his pants and underwear down his thighs. He tuts at the desperate look in your eyes, “I barely make it through the front door before you’re spreading your legs for me.”
You want to argue that he was the one who sought you out, but he might leave you with a throbbing cunt if you have the audacity to play smart with him, so instead you just nod with a breathless ‘yes’.
He places one knee on the coffee table, following up with scooping a hand underneath the small of your back to align your lower pelvises. His grip is so strong, his bare skin, the amount you are allowed to feel, burns against your own. Like King Midas, his touch enriches you, turns you into something as valuable as gold. 
His cock breaches your tight cunt moments after. He watches you intently as your eyes screw shut with the inevitable sting that it brings due to his generous girth. He seats himself to the hilt inside of you and reaches something you didn’t even know a man could get to when he presses his hand into the spot where it rests on your back. 
“Good girl,” he praises with a strained moan, “How do you feel?”
“Full,” you say shakily and teasingly clench around him. 
He takes in a sharp breath, and before you know it, his free hand has come down on your right breast in a harsh slap. He adds to it by palming your throat afterward, tightly gripping it when you try to squeeze around his length again after not having been given time to react to the consequence of doing it the first time. You smirk up at him and he nearly loses his mind. 
“God, you just want it bad, don’t you, little girl?” His hips draw back and he keeps you waiting for the briefest second before slamming them forward again. The force behind his thrusts is borderline painful, but the way his hand arches your back makes his cockhead pound your front wall. 
The moans you let out are barely there, high-pitched or silent with the way he knocks all wind out of you whilst simultaneously cutting off oxygenated blood to your brain.
He fucks you like an animal, all groans and grunts, sweat dripping from his brow because he is too hungry for dominance to undress. He loves being able to quickly flee the scene afterward and loves leaving you with no clothes on so you cannot follow him. 
But it’s not the amount of clothes that he wears compared to you that gets you close to the edge. It is the fact that nothing around you feels real except for him. Even you don’t feel real but rather closer to an inanimate object that only comes alive because of the dark eyes that penetrate your own. 
You’ve known this fact for a while. Despite the love not being there, you know that after this arrangement has started - you don’t know what else to call it - his mere looking at you is what makes you materialize. 
Your fingers come up to curl around his wrist. You cannot breathe and it fucking hurts, only dulled by the way that your cunt starts to flutter with how close he has gotten you to the edge. You hadn’t expected him to make you come. 
With wide eyes, you look up at him in an attempt to tell him what is going on. He holds your gaze, pleased with himself as he drives into you, “I know, little girl, don’t have to tell me, I can feel you.” 
You don’t have the guts to fight his harsh hand. You take it with tears forming in your eyes and the feeling of your pulse pounding in your neck where it’s fighting to get past his bruising grip. 
“Say it, say that you love me, that you’re nothing without me,” he commands, but when you try to speak it is nothing but a squeak. He has his hand so tightly around your windpipe that you cannot get a word past your lips, drooling and shaking underneath his lack of mercy as your tongue feels too big for your mouth. He grins maniacally down at you as your vision blurs around the edges, “Made you speechless, did I? You filthy whore.”
You have always been familiar with the term putting someone’s lights out, but you’ve never understood the true meaning until Joel came into your life. You come hard, unfolding beneath his touch, with tears on your cheeks - and then there’s nothing.
Like a child falling asleep in a car seat, you have been carried up the stairs and into your bedroom. You sit up in your comfy bed and try to piece together how you have gotten here, and when you realize, it is because of your underwear and skirt messily and hurriedly sitting around your ankles. 
You tug your bottom garments up again. There is something sticky between your legs, and you know, immediately. what it is when you start to shift your legs and are hit with soreness. Everything hurts, but nothing seems to be broken or damaged. 
You glance to your right and spot the stack of bills that Joel had flashed earlier. It is neatly placed on the edge of the table along with a glass of water and some aspirin. You’ll take them soon, need to feel the ache a little while longer.
Instead of doing what is most comfortable (like taking the damn pills), you reach for the money instead. A delusional person would argue that they still feel warm, the temperature somewhere between newly printed and body heat. You take a few of them in your hand, and then you press them against your skin. The fact that you find it soothing is pathetic.
The wonder and innocence of being carried upstairs as a kid doesn’t translate into adulthood, you think, and then you lay down to fall into a deep sleep.
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