#i feel like we dont talk about betty's kindness enough

[ladysophiebeckett]

[nutzworth]

DAY 4: JANUARY 17, 2024 (i um. was a little busy. oops.)

STATS: read for ~2 hrs pages read: 860-1052. 192 pgs. reached pg 1000! wooo!!! slur count: 6 + 2 = 8 (rose narration, john. both r slur) silly count: 10 + 1 = 11 (john about roses building) piss count: 1/3

THOUGHTS: today started with jade's freshjamz!!!!!!!!! I LOVE!!! i mean dave kind of sucks at making music but jade doesnt! i love how homestuck shows the works of the characters. jades music daves blogs caliborns deviantart whatever. it makes them feel so REAL.

figured out the time differences! if we're staying at johns timezone, dave is 2 hrs ahead and rose is 3 hrs ahead. and jade is 4 hrs ahead!!!! when we were dave pov a convo with jade was at 6:30pm but at jade pov it was 12:30pm so you know.

the exiles are FINALLY MEETING UP!!!! PM!!!!!!!!! i looove pm shes what makes me want to be a mailman. what the hell are the snake worm things in pm's like structure? whats it called? with the terminal. theyre awful silly but theyre kind of freaky and i dont know what they are.

john faq i always read the faqs theyre so fun. john try not to mention your friends by irl name on public forum challenge (even if he assumes everyone else is dead lol). i do NOT understand alchemizing mostly cus i dont get binary. but whatever. maybe i will someday

KARKAT VANTAS! i think the first mentions of the trolls are here! yaaay!

dave strife theyre still strifing i didnt get to the end yet. s beatdown or whatever. always interesting to me that dave never gets sliced or anythign even though theyre fighting with ultra sharp swords. how much restraint is bro (strider) showing? the fights ARE intended to be strengthening dave. but they dont. cus hes a kid and hes passive. im a sucker for bro strider i know he sucks but ugh i love dirk too much

mom lalondes lab drives me coocoo crazy. pov youre rose you go under your dead cats big ass mausoleum and find a laboratory your mother uses. theres 1 battery unlocked just for you. theres a giant ass monitor showing sburb sessions and meteors. did your mother know? did your mother know what was going to happen? youre thirteen years old. do you know? theres bright pink kiddy furniture. did your mother use it? when did she get it? it looks pristine. did she sleep in this when she was little? did she sleep in it as an adult? why would she buy herself such a thing at an adult age? youre rose lalonde. youre thirteen and full of hatred. you dont understand anything. you wear your mothers scarf and you pick up a stray mutant cat and name it after a drink your alcoholic mother loves. youre thirteen and full of hatred and you dont understand anything and you want to, so badly. so so badly.

jade is awesome her scampering through the house rocks. i wonder if she actually believes pa harley is talking to her, or if he actually is, or if shes just pretending. it has to be because of trauma, right? is she genuine? she has to be genuine. right? fosmf if you know anything about this let me know

jack noir... midnight crew.... oh how i cant wait for the intermission.

johns various mental breakdowns (over the discovery of his dads room; over betty crocker gushers; over the drawings over his posters) are insane. he lashes out so weirdly. dave said like john never gets mad or frustrated over real big stuff and he instead funnels it into tiny meaningless problems. i wonder what that means. im not into john enough to read into it or know

jade (and dirk by extension) waking up on prospit (or derse) early makes me thiiiink. i wonder if theyd get freaked by regular normal dreams. they god tier and sleep and wake up in a cold sweat Hello? Where am i. Hello? I just slept and nothing was there. Where am i

thinking about rose + jade a lot these first few acts. i looove rose and i looove jade. i focused on jade a lot the first time i read so im trying to focus on rose more because shes AWESOME! and i want to get to know her better. she deserves it. but anyway thats enough for today sorry for taking like a 12 day break lol

[lobster-lover]

hello god dude ok im sorry for pouring a whole bunch of complaints into your inbox but: im tired of trying to pretend like i care about literally anyone elSE the entirety of f&c i was like haha ok. but when are we gonna talk about betty though. when are we gonna get some indepth betty thoughts from her perspective. maybe at the end she'll have a whole episode dedicated to explaining how she felt all this time huh? n they were like SIKE we are putting your wife on a bus. cope

like like like if i had my way: 8 episode character analysis miniseries just about betty. 'oh her character is focused solely on and is all about simon blah blah there wouldnt be enough to talk about' dude she needs like VOLUMES written about her im not kidding shes so complicated and fascinating and magical, they so totally didnt have to build her up just to not take it anywhere! if i had it my way shed be on some kind of adventure interspersed with flashbacks where she considers her history and we get to see her thoughts and feelings, kind of like stakes or f&c or obsidian, but all about her. i dont know where im going with this i just think she could carry entire episodes by herself

YEAH LIKE. not sure if i got my own hopes wayyyy up before the show came out but i expected the betty stuff to be like . GOOD??? GFJHRJEHAKERHHA honestly all of fnc felt like waiting for them to do Something with betty TO ME PERSONALLY. i kept going "huh. was that it" after every betty segment like come onnn shes such a huge part of this and all we see is simons perspective??. i was completely ambivalent towards simon before but fnc made me hate him so much just because everything revolved so much around him WHICH IS FINE!! i know its kind if the point. but id like it more if it didnt come at the expense of throwing bettys whole thing aside like that.. we have so much empty space time wise from when she arrived in ooo to CAWM so its not like theres not material there ?? am i crazy tell me if im crazy

[toaster-hair]

now that fionna and cake is done i just have... one little complaint...

before you say it yes i know its my fault for not watching adventure time before watching fionna and cake lmao

fionna and cake didnt meet my expectations. it surpassed them. that should be a good thing but for me, im not so sure.

i think this is gonna be a long one folks so strap in. also i have the memory of a gold fish so if i get a characters name wrong or something just bear with me.

so before i can really complain i need to talk about what went on before i started watching fionna and cake.

i always thought adventure time was cool. i watched some episodes as a kid but i never finished it. i liked the designs and the lore but i have a pretty good sense of telling what pieces of media id like and what i wouldnt (ex: my grandma told me id like harry potter but i just know that i would never). at the time i liked adventure time just not enough to watch all 10 seasons.

i knew some lore like betty becoming golb, bubbline hooking up, jake having kids etc

so when fionna and cake came out, i was excited. sure i wasnt planning on watching it until everyone started saying how good it was but by that point i figured itd be something id like.

i was pretty good at avoiding spoilers for each episode because i wasnt following anyone on tumblr who liked fionna and cake and the only spoilers i found were on twitter that i mostly just scrolled past.

so going into fionna and cake, really all i knew about the show was the trailer (specifically the first episodes intro, not sure if there was a trailer released of the actual intro or something) and a few screenshots. because of that the version of fnc that i came up with in my mind was... pretty different from the fnc we got. i love the fnc we have, but going in i thought itd be a pretty fanservicey slice of life show focusing on fionnas life as a depressed 20 something year old, with some magical parts mostly taking place in fionnas dreams. just something cute for the fans to watch without being that important to the overall story of adventure time. i guess ill just watch something like bee and puppycat for something like that.

i knew simon was in there but i thought hed show up in like, the 4th episode not in the immediate next one. and i also just feel like fnc doesnt focus on fionna and cake as much as simon. i get it, simon is basically the most important character in adventure time, i was just expecting that a show named fionna and cake would mostly be focused on fionna and cake. there are scenes that dawn on fionna and cakes narrative, but i feel like it just wasnt all that. like i feel like we dont really get to know them that well.

how did fionna first become friends with marshall and gary? how does cake feel about being treated like a pet for so long? how did fionna loose her other jobs? why couldnt we have focused more on fionnas depression? hell, even just simple stuff like what their favorite color is or what niche thing are they nerdy about?

im not trying to accuse the writers of being "sexist" or whatever even if i do think its a bit sad that fionna and cake kind of got side lined for simons arc. i know in adventure time marceline and bubblegum's relationship and just overall characters were an important part of the show. but i think the difference is that adventure time had enough seasons and specials to focus not only on finn and jake but many other characters as well, while fionna and cake only had 10 episodes.

personally, if i were to rewrite the series while still having most of the original story in tact, i would have a couple of more episodes focusing on fionnas regular life before being summoned by simon. id also give the series at least 15 or 20 episodes just so that theres enough time to focus on multiple characters. there would be more of a focus on fionnas feelings, maybe we could even delve more into fionnas romantic relationships because i feel like the ice prince part in her dream, as well as the winter king episode, was hinting that she might have a bad love life. i mean, knowing what i know about finns romantic relationships, it doesnt seem that out of character.

i still love fionna and cake tho, dont get me wrong. i just kind of felt a bit falsely advertised to and wished there was more focus on fionna and cakes arc. i might start watching adventure time just because i liked fnc, there are 2 shows i want to finish first tho. i dont need a second season of fnc or anything, i just wish there were maybe 1 or 2 additional episodes just to flesh things out. this is just my opinion.

[wouldyoudoanythingforme]

i think that maybe we could be getting all of the girls and need as soundtracks for a coming out documentary like how we got only the young in miss americana but that could just be me being insane over them and wanting to hear them really badly

Ugh, I would love that !!!!

I'm thinking the film she's been hinting at is a documentary. And like in the bejeweled mv, didn't she hint that 'exile' was ending? I think this means that karlie is on board with coming out publically and that we're going to get lover era this summer for pride month maybe.

I just can't imagine taylor is comfortable being closeted, I can't imagine she would actively choose that life. I wish I could be openly queer but I can't and that choice hurts me inside everyday. I just dont know if I can look at lover era and think she just changed her mind.

I cant listen to midnight rain, the great war, and right where you left me or dear reader and think she wants this life for herself. I think she knows now that she'll have a fandom no matter what and I think she put out folklore and evermore as a strategic move, because well karlie will definitely listen to them especially with Betty being given special attention.

I think karlie hearing Betty inspired her to reach out and let go of the hatchet. I would love to see them have a public and joint project in this regards because I think the documentary would touch on many important aspects like... queerness, mental health, toxic relationships, and even maybe her ED in more depth. But I also know that taylor wants to be more private nowadays but I don't know if she wants to be private about being forcibly closeted though.

I think the amount of anger she has towards her old label is way bigger than just losing her masters and like if I was to view Taylor's life as a novel, I feel like the masters was almost the inciting incident in a way because I think this situation began in 2014 or 2015, way longer than we think it did. And like idk, if I'm listening to her music correctly- it tells us that we should be focused on more than just the masters situation itself. Like the great war and hoax being 2 sides of the same coin to me is just so heartbreaking to me. I don't know what other I can interpret these songs.

I'm of the belief that if taylor didn't want us talking about it (i.e. her SA) she wouldn't sing about it, so that's kind of where I'm judging her boundaries on what she's okay with us talking about her life online. I think she understands we're reading her lyrics closely, so I think she's been more metaphorical and purple prosey with her lyricism on purpose.

And I think those metaphors just really add so much depth to her songs, like Betty being fictional is great and all but betty being a fictionalized version of events based on a real human is even greater. Like, how do you just dismiss the betty and james connection to taylor and karlie so quickly. It's the kind of thing where once you know, you can't unknow.

And idk, the amount of maturity in her recent albums and especially midnights (as a gaylor who can understand every song on that album accurately, I don't understand why people are calling it mid or her worst album or whatever and I realize that the poppy sound really makes people stop thinking) just points to taylor gaining the courage and strength to hold herself accountable + own up to her past mistakes enough to wear she was able to cross that great divide between the two of them in order to get what she wants. She truly is a mastermind, honestly.

Like, I think she wants to be queer because she's been surrounding herself with very political and very queer people left and right since 2017. I think she wants to be the first bisexual woman billionaire musician film director. Like I think she wants to leave a legacy that is more than just music and that's why she's been branching out and being political and just aligning herself with queer women and black people.

She's making a conscious effort to diversify her surroundings and I applaud her for that. I think she's really tired of her old fandom and her old image and she wants to be her true authentic self because she's just been acting very bisexual very loudly all over the place.

I just would love the heartbreak prince as a documentary. And I would love to hear all of the girls and need because I know they're about Joe's support of her and her desire for him which is exactly the kind of bisexual representation the world needs. 😉

But yeah, I just realllllllllllllllly wanna hear those songs anon because I just always want more lover recognition always. A truly unparalleled era.

[scorpionwins]

Alright everybody today we're losing it over 3 things:

Pastel Jughead

Northside Jughead being adopted by Fred

Jughead & his many lady friends

SO HERE'S THE THING- IM CRYING, JUST, - JUG. JUG ALWAYS WANTING TO WEAR PRETTY PASTEL THINGS BUT HE COULD NEVER BC IT WOULD MAKE FP LOOK BAD, THEN BC he doesn't want to put a burden on fp. From a painfully young age, he knew they weren't well off, so yes, hand me downs would suffice, no worries.

There's also that lingering, possessive fear digging through his hopes, that maybe it won't matter, that people won't care, but-

but then he remembers Kevin getting slammed for wearing lip gloss on the playground, or how Archie stopped writing his songs with glitter pens after some douchebag made fun of him.

Or how Jason loved playing dolls and match dresses with Cheryl until he was stopped. And he's just- there's gentle advisory to hide all of that, and so he does?

But then they grow up, and Riverdale, at least in some places, does too. So when Betty kindly offers him some clothes to try on, offers to teach him how to do make up, Val, Polly and Veronica fast on call, having their little fashion shows, it felt... free.

SO, ns jug and ss sweet pea who met through fangs, whom jug found battered up behind the movie theater and took him home to patch up, and it was infatuation at first sight.

Sweet Pea is bold and confident and makes gold feel lesser and he loves the blush preening, bashful but fervid across Jug's face, illuminating the freckles he's found himself counting more than once, and he says he'd like to see it more often.

So Friday. Jug better be ready.

And so - so Jug IS, invites Sweet Pea to his room until he goes to tame his brother Archie, his sister Cheryl (bc in a perfect world Fred adopted Cheryl ok don't tale that from me) and Papa, " protective cave people. You know."

And sweet pea just watches him, a ball of indigant fluffy bed hair, hopping down the stairs.

" You can't ruin this for me! This guy is so sweet and smart and cool, why aren't we talking about Archie's unrelenting habbit of bringing a new girl over every week. I don't want to shame anyone but its really mean I'm the only one targeted!" And he snorts.

This dork will make such a good boyfriend, yes, he can already see it, boyfriend to husband to maybe possibly father of his children.

But he's not thinking too fast. No.

It's just- Jug is a good boy, starry eyed bright, sea water calming and tranquil, makes you want to drown, and sweet pea would. He doesn't know how something that pure goes hand in hand with all the dark he's wearing. A dark he doesn't even enjoy, by the look on his face.

But then. Then sweet pea sees. Pretty pink clothes, shirts and sweaters and skirts, pastel everything, some on the bed, some on the bean bag, and his insides freeze over. They look awfully close in resemblance with the other ball of pastel, sunlight forrest green that creep him out. And Sweet Pea assumes the worst.

Just- Jug coming back, excited, saying that he actually convinced Fred to let him ride on a motorcycle, but sees the dark on sweet pea 's face, watches fingers casually tear his pretty fabrics apart, then fling it at jug and jug- he's he's so upset, water pooling around his eyes, " w- why?"

" why? Cause you're fucking disgusting. THIS is disgusting," gesturing to the mess and rags of Jug's precious things, sliced by a talented blade, precise, masterful, gleeful. " God, I'm so glad I didn't let you touch me. You've got to be one of the sickest fuckers I've ever met. WHY would you bring me here, knowing I'd find out?"

Lips trembling, shaking like fluttering petals blew by wind, Jug, shame eaten, mortification boiling him from the inside out, " I- I didn't think you'd- you'd care."

There's betrayel, soft but noticeable, because he TRUSTED sweet pea, trusted Fangs' promises of their youthful viewpoints, how they're progressive even with their slightly traditional tracks.

Sweet Pea, floored, scoffs, like Jug is spewing some of the most offensive words he's heard in a lifetime, and shakes his head. " Northsiders are something else. Crazy fuckers, the lot of you. Dont look for me, or that pretty face of yours won't stay pretty for long"

He carries that bravado with him out the door, but as soon as he reaches his truck, Sweet Pea cries, you know he does, because there goes his heart, broke open by another northsider with too much time on their hands and not enough life in their hearts.

Meanwhile, Jug is cleaning his room, sobbing quietly, because the boy he likes hates his pretty clothes and thinks Jug is disgusting.

there's nothing Cheryl does better than revenge.

She watches Jug, shoulder to shoulder with a paired of concerned amber eyes, angry, wrathful, as her baby brother gently packs the clothes into a bag, shoulders trembling as if he's carrying so much weight on them Atlas would bow.

Watches him, head down, little trash bag filled with the same things that nerd was so bright eyed with excitement at just a few months ago, and knocks on Betty's door.

He apologizes, Cheryl knows, because of the loving, fond crease between Betty's brow, when Jug would apologize for seemingly nothing and shed say "why"? With her face alone.

She spots the blankness taking over as she opens that bag, slowly, eyes not changing once her and Cheryl lock eyes.

" Fetch my phone, Archie. This is a Code Red."

So here Jug is, under his fluffy blankets, cuddlin and hugging FP's serpent jacket, hoping a gentle hand would materialize out of thin air and brush through his tangle of curls.

When suddenly, it's yanked, and he makes a sad sound of dejection, upset because he wants to SNUGGLE and forget that he's but a mere goldfish in this bitch of a world but surprise surprise, lady friends.

Lady friends holding hair brushes and cosmetics, clothes of all kinds, all comforting, mischievous storms.

Jug whines, low in his throat, uses the leathers as shield. The bed shifts under multiple weights, but he can recognize them all- the soft, private gentleness Cheryl secures only for him, now more tender than ever through his curls.

Betty's ginger squeezes around his thigh, Val, feline agility, perfect grace snuggling around him.

Ethel's timid but strong pat on his shoulder, accompanied by Ronnie's playful tickle to his sides, sending him in a shriek that he needed. They're all there, all pieces of his heart that he'll never forget. " wh- what are we doing?"

" Revenge, dear hobo. Revenge. You know the best way to get it?"

" ...Success?"

" yes. And the best way to kill?" When he doesn't responded, Cheryl's eyes thunder. " Beauty."

[spade-riddles]

"Adjusting Expectations" Post

This submission received a lot of responses and 120 notes, so I thought I would compile the comments here.

Anonymous said:

Adjusting expectations anon was so good. If their timetables are right and we do just need to be patient a little longer, can Kaylor please send us a sign? I guess it would be too loud to slip "adjusting expectations" into social media posts, but maybe they could both do something with playing cards? To show they are card sharks right now but they'll find their way home eventually? That would reassure people. And it would fly under the radar.

casuallycruel131313 said:

I agree with a lot of this but I think the main issue right now is that moral and ethical lines have been crossed and there's no coming back from that. In these post-Trumpian insurrectionist times it's unfathomable that they could continue the Kushner narrative I no longer care if or when they come out, I enjoy the music and I'm happy to observe from a distance because I'm interested from a PR/marketing point of view but my opinion of T &K as people has changed irrevocably and I don't see how they can clean the tarnish off.

@theprologues said:

Agree with most of not all if this but I would like to say as a Kaylor the toe Grammy stunt didn’t phase me. I was not crushed by that by any means. I just shrugged and honestly expected it. It was the attributing Betty and exile to him during the LPSS in November that bummed me out and really made me go...really?

rockcrow20 said:

Have to say I also agree with most of this.

I no longer have any expectations on anything changing any time soon and have not been surprised by the recent events its to be expected after everything over the years really

Nothing has really changed (bearding narrative wise) since I fell down the rabbit hole in 2017 (except that great night in nashville 2018 rep)

Honestly I can't say I am as invested anymore about them ever coming out as I was.

I think the wb/Joe thing was the last moment for me and the continual kushner connection just troubles me like many others.

I mean my kaylor motto for awhile now has been hope for the best but expect disappointment.

Low expectations = limited feelings of disappointment.

original-cypher said:

@rockcrow20 the WB was a breaking point for so many. You are absolutely right. There are just so ma'y contradictions that feel like absolute whiplash. (I know I seem to have been the only one experiencing that with Gorgeous but... that was a big one for me, too) But like. You go on a whole PR campaign about speaking up and standing up for yourself. You say you're capable and tired of men trying to take ownership of your success and profit off of your name. And you credit you literal damn work to a bloke? Bitch, 'consistency'? Look it up. It grossed me out. It would have felt iffy if I believed they were real. But since I wasn't born yesterday it just sent me the message "this is how far I'm willing to sacrifice my principles to not be queer".

rockcrow20 said:

@original-cypher exactly why it bothered me and I know alot us so much. Such mixed messaging of being a strong fighting for your rights female and then oh hey let me attribute some of my best work to my pr boyfriend and the pr pics where she is walking behind all the time like 🙄 The Betty thing that was big one for me too!

rainbowdaisy13 said:

This write up and the comments are spot on. I don’t have much to add other than like @original-cypher said, Miss Americana is tainted for me now and seems like at the very least, it was released too soon in the plan. I get we think they have had to pivot but man, that doc, and including her literally saying “gay rights make me me” at the end was such a false flag. To see her wax poetic about not taking shit from men anymore and then see her do the same old hetero weak woman song and dance routine with the WB shit for albums that are of her genius mind has been so disappointing. I still believe Kaylor is real and I hope they get a chance to show the world that. Karlie posting that cardigan pic in the woods before the folklore release cemented for me they are still together. Adding a baby makes me feel all kind of weird ethical things but I hope I live long enough to see it play out and wear my I Told You So shirt 😁

@kellykaylor said:

agree with your post... I dont care about toe stunts but what really pissed me of was hetwashing betty 🤮! beautiful post tho anon!!

roameroo said:

Totally agree with these all comments especially the strong messaging of MA only to turn around & pull that WB = my "bf" crap. I was disheartened by her mentioning him at the Grammy's only bc he's getting credit for sh*t he doesn't/didn't do. That is what irks me the most about this, giving him credit for her life's work.

always-the-last-word said:

Can I throw my pennies in the pool ?? Taylor will put out the big three first Fearless, RED then 1989 that should bring us to about August. This is where the excitement should begin. If Taylor preps and waits for National Coming Out day it's a no lose for her. Lover her money making machine will go through the roof !! If things go bad or good in the public eye she'll have REPUTATION Taylor's Version ready to release. It will be epic and she'll own it and be FREE.

@karlie-what-you-want said:

always-the-last-word I like this take a lot! I try not to be too optimistic but if she wanted to come out sooner rather than later, I think this plan would satisfy both business and PR needs (at least on Taylor’s end). Remains to be seen how Tay will help Karlie dig her way out of the mess they made together regarding the K*shners.

always-the-last-word said:

Always remember that Taylor has a PLAN. Some of her plans are year's old (easter eggs). Taylor's one and only LOVE is her music, everything else comes second. If KK wants to change and be with her full time she'll make moves around the same time frame. That's if she chooses to. In any event Tay will be open and own all her music. I've seen this film before and WE might not like the ending.

chosetherose said:

I’ve been going back and forth for a day trying to figure out what I wanted to say when I reblogged this post. I’m tired. I’m frustrated. I understand I’m owed nothing by Taylor or Karlie. I understand that circumstances out of their control have caused the girls to pivot over and over again.

But, the root of my frustration in the past months stems not from me battling with the trivial (e.g. pap walks, etc.) but with my personal principles. I fiercely believe credit should be given where it is earned and I uphold this in my career regularly. To see Taylor crediting Toe with her art was deeply disappointing. Watch the 1989 and folklore acceptance speeches back to back and tell me it doesn’t upset you. I believe the K******s have blood on their hands and that their actions during the pandemic have killed people. To see Karlie still associating with one of them disgusts me.

I can’t help but think back in frustration - Would you really fall from grace to touch her face? (And in the brilliant words of @9w1ft) But would you die for her in public? I go back and forth feeling like questions like this aren’t fair at all and thinking they are sort of valid. At this point, it sort of feels like Taylor would only fall from grace for her lover if all the stars and facets of her life aligned perfectly. But perfection like this does not happen. Such is life. So why am I here?

I do question why Spade left certain messages in their final days. I am still holding hope a fervent revolution exonerates everyone. I so desperately want Taylor to regain control of her masters or re-records. Maybe this is the plan they thought was best with multiple goals in mind (re-records, having a family, coming out of the closet one day etc). I’m trying to remain patient because Spade told us to trust her endless yearning. But WOW it is asking a lot of us at this point.

Anonymous said:

Despite being a pragmatist kaylor and oftentimes getting into arguments with fellow optimistic kaylors (owner of this blog included) I think it's quite unfair -at this point- to say to the optimists who have patiently sat through the worst kind of stunts with the most terrible kind of people (yes I'm talking about the Kushner's friend group too) that they should have seen it coming. Besides, if it weren't for the optimists we the cynicals would have burned this fandom down by now.

Anonymous said:

Even if we ignore that an insurrection happened partially because of the family karlie's still working for and getting paid from, she literally said before the pregnancy debacle unfolded that j*sh was her last client while talking about cutting hair and doing a cutting gesture. How should we have interpreted that? 😤That a year later she would be more stuck with the Kushners than ever? We don't wake up on day and decide to have unrealistic expectations. She feeds into them. 😠

Anonymous said:

I have no expectation of Taylor coming out anymore. Zero. None. I have no expectation of her dropping Toe or even of Kaylor publicly reuniting. It doesn't even matter that much anymore. But I - do - expect 1 thing. Karlie to drop and completely dissociate herself from the Kushners and this has nothing to do with kaylor. It was everything to do with me being unable to support a person who willfully assists (now using her baby too) and receives money from a family that has made so many suffer.

Anonymous said:

A quick word from an ex-kaylor (who will never become an anti). A year ago, when the Trumps were still in power and untouchable and there was no baby, I was excusing and turning a blind eye to many things Karlie did for the K*shners. Even that dinner in September. I had also made peace with the truth never being revealed. But a year later the Trumps are gone, Karlie is still on full stunting mode now with a baby in the mix, a baby that is already being used by the Kushners, and I've really run out of excuses. Now the only thing that could possibly keep me on board is if I knew there was a good chance that the full truth would come out, so that Karlie's inexplicable and honestly borderline immoral actions could eventually make sense. But as your sub said, this is an unrealistic expectation, thus I became an ex-kaylor and I'm not planning to come back even when they reunite. 😕

Anonymous said:

What baffles me is that Taylor has explicitly expressed her regret about not giving her lover the credit she deserves and her doubt whether fame is worth hiding her true love: "when I walked up to the podium, I think I forgot to say your name", "what's a lifetime of achievement, if I pushed you to the edge". But yet again she didn't do anything to change this. I didn't expect her to acknowledge Karlie, but a nod or at least not falsely crediting her beard would be a good start.

Anonymous said:

1🙁 Let me chime in re: "expectations". I'm one of the kaylors who ever since the pregnancy reveal was trying to tell everyone there's NO way she was gonna dump him soon after birth let alone before that. It would bring too much unnecessary attention and Jerk would have never agreed to something that would make him look like a bad guy/husband. For the exact same reasons, I was also saying there's no way he wasn't going to post about the baby. All the above against the popular opinion back then.

2🙁 So I agree that the day of the birth post was known to T, not the timing though. Simply bc Kushner-leaning outlets made sure to note that detail. If they wanted it to go unnoticed, why draw attention to it? That being said, kaylors would have been more patient with this mess, if Karlie hadn't gone overboard with her freedom "smoke signals" last summer and Tay's "insiders" hadn't been insinuating that the end is VERY near. Both of them SHOULD have known by then how we would react to these.

3🙁 So it's natural that everyone feels played and has no patience for any more bullshit. Another sore point is how Jerk AND the Kushner-Trump klan monopolize the baby news. This isn't just to make it realistic, it's an abuse of Kaylor's baby's name to garner good pr for the worst family in America, with Karlie's blessing. In order for her marriage and split to appear realistic she's putting a LIFETIME burden on her child's back. Unless you believe she's eventually gonna say Jerk isn't the dad.

4🙁 So "we’re in a position we should realistically have been able to see coming". But we did see it coming, that why some made these extreme scenarios, bc this is the worst possible outcome. "Good people try to make it work, even in bad relationships." Ultimately this isn't just a "bad rs". It's a horrific association that should have been resolved ages ago, not one to bring your child into, doom it to suffer a similar fate, and expect people to sit idly and watch. That's what frustrates most.

[freshstartbaby]

Un

🎧 Body - Syd

I watched my house, cardbord on the ground, like me, leg crossed. White walls, a little smell of vinegar. Thats what I used to finally clean up everything.

Why do I feel like shit ? I mean one part of me cant wait to be in my new place. But the other ? I really feel like I kind of failed here. I got a job, two to be exact, I can provide for myself. I got few friends and thats it. I was wondering if my mum will ever know if I left the town. Maaaan I got to stop overthinking.

It was 8pm and I was waiting for Theo's call. Thanks to god he told me he will help me wih the moving. His help was so precious. Like always. My phone rang with « Theo 🤍 » on my screen . I picked up

« Sup mister T » I said softly « Hi Rob, you good ? » he answered « I am actually, and you ? » « Good. So you really goin to leave me, you know you can still change your mind » « No way, but you know you will still be in my mind » « And in your heart. Who do you think you are ? » he started to joke « Man where are you ? » I said rolling my eyes with a smile on face « There is a litlle bit of traffic. I be there in 10 minutes. But I think the man who will help us is already there. I fowarded him your number. Did he call ? »

I checked my phone, no missed call

« Nah he didn't » « Ok, get ready I be there soon » « Thank tou Theo » « Everything for you » he hang up

I shook my head slowley left to right. He was so kind to me. He can't be real. Me and Theo knew ourself since 8 years now. He was there to help and provide when no one could. He always was very protective and he is actually the one who gave me my first job: dancer in a club. It wasn't my goal job but I could dance and it will help me paying my bills. Few years later he also refered me in company to work as a personnal assistant. I managed myself to then become a communication assistant. When you look clother, without him, I probably will end up as a cracked or worse.

When we met I was 16 and he was 22. It was a very protective relationship. But the older we get, the akward it became. I mean physically he turned to a man as i turned to a young women. And even if he always shows me mad respect, the way he was watching and talking to me changed. Not in a bad way, but I could feel there was more. I aint gon lie, he is good looking, got money and got pure heart. But i couldnt wiling to lost him if we turned into a relationship. He was one of few people around me. Aint ready to loose one of them.

When I told him that I decided to move in LA, maaaan, he wasn't down for it. But as always, he helped me. He got fews relations so we find a cute flat quickly than I thought. The place was smooth and warm. We flew to LA to visit it, and i actually loved it. So now here I am waiting for a friend of his to move my stuff to LA. Let me get it straight. I aint no baby. I can take care of myself. But when it comes to Theo, he always wants to help. And I aint gonna lie, it feel good to be take care of.

The ring belled, I stood up to open the door. He looked at me, I looked at him.

« Can I help you ? » rising an eyebrow acting like I didn't know him « Stop playing » he said moving in my place « Hi » I said to the man following Theo « Robyn this is Eric, Eric this The New York leaver »

I rolled my eyes and shook my head slowly. Eric and Theo helped me to put my stuff in the truck. It was quickly made thanks to them. Also even if I hadnt much things I droped a lot. Eric told me that they will arrive the next monday in my new place. I thanked him as he left when I felt someone behind me. I turned around found Theo on his phone.

« First of all you didn't say hi »

I pulled him softly in a hug. His hands wrapped my shoulder as he kissed my cheek softly

« Then tell me where do I drop you ? » he said « Alex's place » « Lets go »

He put my suitcase in his trunck and we headed to Alexendra's place. I sold my car few weeks before so he proposed me to drop me where I needed yesterday.

Alexandra is one of my best friend. She's like a sister to be honest. We know each other for like forever and she always be down for me. Im stayin at her place tonight so I can catch my flight tommorow.

The road was silent but confortable. Theo and I like to be quiet sometines. We're the type of people who arent afraid of silence. As we arrived to Alexendra's place we stayed a little in the car.

« You need help with the suit case ? » « Na Im good, but thank you. Thank you for everything. It means a lot» I look at him « Stop saying this like its a goodbye » « Im not » « You better »

We pulled into a thight hug «You know I'm always be around and if you need to come back my door is open» « I hope it will be fine dont say that »

He look at me kiss my cheek and said

« Take care » « You too Theo »

I got off the car, took my suitcase and watched him leave. As we disapear on the corner I called Alex.

« Yes baby » « Im here, remind me your code » « You still dont remember it, you do it on purpose » « Guuuurl what is it ?» « 7110 » « Thank youuuuuu »

I taped the code and got to her place

« Sup baby » « Wassup baby, how you doin ?» « Good and you ? » « Everything is alright, I mean my best friend is leaving in an another town but Im good » « Guuuurl, it is for the better » « I know that, Im just getting emotional » « Dont do that » « Im trying, I swear ! How did you came ? You took a uber ? » « Nah, Theo droped me »

She set down on her large cozy couch eying me with a small smile

« What ? » I asked « Noooothing ! » she tapped the place next to her so I can take place « You just goin to sit down and tell me what's popin between you and this white daddy, finally» she said swith a smirk « Nothing is popin, I already told you that » i said sitting next to her « But you got to admit he is good lookin » « I never said he isnt » « Maybe a little bit skinny but he is still handsome » « He is. » « So he never try to own that » she said pointing at myself « And dont try to tell me no, I saw him plenty time trying to get you. » « Alex, it is not goin to hape- « «  Whyyyyyyyy » « Because I dont want to » I said laughin « GURL IS YOU GAY ?» « Oh my god. Alexendra. » «  No because if you are it is ok. But you need to tell me, so I can introduce him to friend of mine. Its such a waste » « Whatever » I said looking at her smiling

This girl is so crazy. Full of good vibe. Always pushing me to my best. She is fam yall. Our phones started buzzing at the same time. It was a whatsap phone call from our conversation « Mexico 🥵 ».

With some friends we decided to go on a trip to Mexico. For the big part, I knew them from school or club. As we grew older all of us took different ways but still got mad love for eachother. This week trip was the way to link up. I didnt knew some people like David, Florian and Veronica but everything went well during the organisation so I wasnt « afraid » that they were annoying.

The trip is next Monday so we schedule this video chat to make a last check. With all the stuff with my moving I almost forget about this call. Alex and I were together so I decided not to answer from my phone and step clother to her so we can both be on her screen

« Hi » « Wassup beauties » Alexander says

We all said hi to each other and waited to see if someone was missing.

« Who is missing » I asked « Flo is not here » Betty said « Damn this sleeping guy, let me text him » Alexander answered

As he decided to text him, a new window poped in our screen revealing a big white man shirtless, it seems like he was in his bed.

« My bad, sorry for my lateness, wassup guys » he said in a low voice

I looked at the screen, then at Alex, then the screen again and falled into the catch moving my hand to show to Alex that this man was foooine

We giggle few seconds before getting back to our serious faces.

« Florian that is it ? » Alex asked « Yup » « Time is money you owe us all a drink when we get to the mexico » « Maaaan dont play me like that, I was taking a nap, gym killed me today» he said

Of course he was goin to the gym, look at this chest. I tried to fix my self when we all talked for like an hour about last informations, who will arrive when, who shares room, what type of activites we wanted to do. I cant wait for this trip to be honest. I dont travel that much. I could release the stress from my moving, my new job and the new town I will be living in.

« Rob you still in New York ?» Michael asked « Yeees, my fligt is tomorrow » « Where you goin ? » Betty asked « Moving to LA » I said softly « LA GANG MY MAN ! » Florian shouted « Thats great, really big move » Alexander said « Finger crossed » Veronica « Dont worry, as wherever it will be ok if you work hard enough » Florian said « Oh dont worry she is a hard worker » Alex said miming a blow job

I snaped her head as everyone shared an hard laugh. Few minutes later we hang up. I went to the bathroom, washed myself, my tooth and changed myself in something more confortable. I went back to the living room and find Alexandra on the phone. By the way she was smiling and laughing I could tell it was Alexander. Yeah. This gurl find a boyfriend with the same name. That's kind of cute but it's also so corny. She hanged up, stood uo and went to the kitchen

« Sooooo » « What do you want again ? » i said a smirk in my face « I was wondering » she looked at me with a vicious smile « What is it Alex ? » « Are you down for some dick in Mexico » « You are something else you know that » « Im just asking ! There will be latino guys, foreigner and gurl this man Florian, he is free like the wind » «How do you know that ? » « I asked Alexander » « Mmmmh » « Mmmmh ? Gurl when is the lastime you had a man making you feel right ? I aint talking about relationship because that is another level and I know you trying to put yourself first since...» « Yea no. I'm not ready but let me think » « The fact that you have to think is not ok, you know that if the sexual frustration is not evacueted it can damaged you » « I got toys dont worry » I said putting my finger in a peace sign while im leaving the kitchen

I went to her guest bedroom, sitted on the bed and put my durag on. After sliding under the sheets I did my breath exercise so I could fall asleep faster but I couldn't. It was these exercises or sleeping pills. But I try to use them less and less since few month. They knocked me hard to hard man. After 30 minutes of try, I took my phone and opened Instagram. I scrolled my screen without being focused at all, laugh at fews memes and double tap some post. I tought about what Alex told me. It's true. It been a while since I havent give a man his chance. It didn't went well the last time. Ok here we go overthinking. I shook my hand thinking of how dumb I was when I tought about Florian. He was fine its true but you know men are trash. At least men I have a crush on 😭. I tapped « florian » in the research bar to see if I could find him. I didn't. Im defenatly not a FBI member. I will ask to Alex tomorrow, or not, it's not a good idea.

——-

I was hugging Alexandra thighly at the airport. The voice called the passagers of my flight to get ready.

« I'm goin to miss you crazy ass » I whispered « I'm goin to miss you more Robyn, but stop being weak before I start crying » « Come on aint nobody goin to cry » I push her shoulder « we're tough girls remember ? » « Yea but I wrote you a letter » she gave me a letter as I look at her ready to make fun of her « You wrote me a letter, you must be in love with me » « Of course I am, yo you're my friend soulmate » « Ok you gon make me cry now » « Go get your flight »

I tried to open the letter when she took my hand

« The fuck is you doin, you have to read it in your flight, or when you arrive to your new place but not now » « Okaaaaaaay mrs emotional »

I kissed her cheek and grabed my suit case before leaving

« See you in Tulum baby ! »

I put a peace sign above my head a went take my flight.

As I settled in my seat, I leaned my head back to the couch. Here we go baby. You can do this. You got this. It's goin to be fine. I was motivated myself when my phone buzzed. I watched my phone screen and see that Theo sent me a vocal. I put my AirPods on tap on my screen to listen his whatsap vocal message.

James. Theo James. : « You're in the plane ? »

I send him a quick answer

Robyn ✨: Yup 🛫

James. Theo James. : Ok

I watched the screen as I saw « James. Theo James is writing » when a big as message droped. Oh my god. He is goin to make me cry. Or worse. I rubbed my forehead before start reading.

James. Theo James. :

« Robyn. My baby. I know your flight is getting ready to take off. So I'm writing this to you so you can be ready for this new page.

Im goin to tell you this, and ear me out when I say: You got this.

You're smart, kind, open minded,fierce, talented, reliable, honest and a fighter. I know life ain't did good to you lately, and it's destroying me to see you leave but baby it's a fresh start. Leave all the madness, the pain and the self doubt where you at because LA is goin to be fire baby. No more drama, no more pathetic boyfriend, no more struggling. Put yourself above everything, because you deserve it. Keep your mental healthy. Communicate more, talk free and never be afraid to make people to ear your voice.

As I always say to you, even if the blood don't link us, you mean the world to me. Whenever you need anything blow my phone. I will always have an eye on you even if I know you are and you are becoming a boss a bitch woman every single day.

I know you are goin to kill it.

Text me when you arrive to your new home

I will come visit you in few months

Theo 🤍 »

I closed my eyes, bitted my lips and hold my phone on my chest. Don't cry, don't cr- too late. Tears were all over my face as I try to mute myself. Even I tried to hide it, I was feeling shitty. And those words just gave me the feeling of being discovered. I don't know how it was possible. Even if Theo and I were closed I have difficulties to talk out when I'm not feeling myself. And with this message I knew that all this time he knew how I felt but give me my space.

LA be good to me please.

—-

🎧 1 pound - Brymo

The sunlight woke me this morning. I really need to buy curtains. I mean in the rest of the place it's not that important, but wake this way is so uncomfortable. I like the darkness in my bedroom you know ? And all this light, god chill out 🤣

I stood up and head ou to the bathroom and then to the kitchen. I watched the board where I wrote my to do list yesterday night. Yeaaaa i'm trying to be more disciplined woman. I mean organized but sometimes I get too lazy. Like if I invented the word lazy myself.

End the bathroom Shopping at the supermarket Look for a car End the suitcase Work out (you can do this)

I laugh at myself knowing that I will probably not doing the last one. I washed my dishes and turn on the speaker to get in a better mood. I clean a little some stuff since there was still some cardboard here and there. I find myself dancing in front the big mirror in one of the corridor when my phone rang. I didn't know the number so I turned of the music and clear my throat.

« Robyn Matthew, how can I help you » « Hi Robyn this is William. I am with Olivia, you're on speaker. How are you ? » « Hello Robyn »

Ow my new bosses.

« Oh hello to both of you, I'm great thank you to ask. How about you two ? » « We're good ourself thank you. Have you settled yet ? » « Mmh there is still few unopened cardboards but I'm good » « Good to ear that » « You will love LA » Olivia said « I hope so, how can I help you ? » « Well Robyn we were wondering, sorry to ask again but weren't you supposed to start today ?»

My eyes grew wide as my eyebrow start dancing. I wasn't supposed to start today hell no

« I don't think so, I mean I asked to the RH department to postponed my arrival since I have a trip planned » « Oh my baaaaaaaaaad » Olivia shooted « What is it » he asked to Olivia I think « I totally forgot to tell you, Cindy told me few weeks ago but it disappeared from my mind »

My heart stoped racing fast when I told them

« You scared me ! » « I'm so sorry Robyn, William I'm sorry too » « Oh it's ok, you owe us a coffe when she arrives » « Deal » she said laughing « You better note that, or you will forget it too » « Very funny » « Anyway sorry to have bothered you Robyn » William said « It's fine » « Where are you going ? » Olivia asked « Sorry ? » « You said you are goin on a trip, where is it ? »

I twisted my face. How is that suppposed to concern them ? Robyn stay open, be nice, they're just trying to be nice.

« Tulum » « Oh Mexico, well lucky you » « Oh my god, I wish I could have holidays to a place like this » « Anyway Robyn, enjoy you're trip and come back to us resourced. You can't wait to work with you » « Thank you, see you soon » « Bye »

I hang up, a weird feeling in my guts. I mean they were nice. But I'm not really use to have this kind of conversation with my bosses. I tought that they were a good duo both of them. I find myself a little anxious about having two bosses but it's goin to be fine.

Im goin to tell you this, and ear me out when I say: You got this.

I got this. I wanted to turn back on the music. So I scrolled my screen when I saw an Instagram notification.

@bignasty wants to follow you

My face twisted again. Big nasty ? What the hell is that. I'm sure this is a porn count, or a pervet who will try to slide in my Dm. So many weird people on social medias. Thanks god the private button exists so I can control borders 😂 I clicked on it when I saw his face.

Wow.

I took few step back to my couch as my hand was on my chest. Jesus Christ. I found myself put my hand on my mouth so I don't scream and laugh akwardly. God. It was Florian. I mean I think. No no no it was him. How can you forget a face like this. I hold my breath as scrolled down his feed. This man was... l have no word. I rubbed my eyes trying to get back to earth, with a big dumb smile on my face when my phone rang

Xandra 💍 is calling

I picked up and put her on the speaker. I said hi to her in a low voice, I was feeling like I'm out of breath

« GUUUUUUUURL » she screamed « Wassup » « Did Florian asked you on Ig ? » « He did. » « GIRRRL DID YOU SAW THESE PICTURES ?!!!! » « Alexandra, i was checking him when you called » « GURRRRRRL IF YOU DONT EAT HIM ON THIS TRIP I'M KILLING YOU »

I start rubbing my eye again. He was something else. God. Why do I feel this. Then I found myself playing with my finger, where my engagement ring used to be.

It gave me a quick reminder.

« Ok he is super hot, but don't count on me for that » « You're such a child when you act like that. You know what, I'm sure you pantie is already soaking looking at his pic, so just wait. When he is goin in front of you there will be no « don't count on me for that » » « shut up » « Have you end your suite case ? » « Not yet, I think it will be handle this evening» « Ok look listen to me wisely. I don't know what you choose but switch it all up with sexiest stuff » « I'm tired of you »

We stayed on the phone for like an hour. You know how it is when besties are on the phone. All the day she kept teasing me with Florian but I didn't give attention. But I wanted to make her laugh a little so I teased her with a screen and a meme

She hit me back with a message 

« gurl this is too much, you really goin to miss this chance »

What chance ? He just followed me on Instagram. I didn't even accept him yet. He must have a girlfriend, or be a fuck boy. Maybe is he gay. Ok Robyn overthinking AGAIN. It's goin to be cute holidays. I don't want to mess this up.

—— 3836 words

Wassup guys ?

How do you feel about this beginning ?

Is everything understable ? I'm French so you know you girl is struggling a little 🙈

Do not hesitate to give me feedbacks, react, and all that stuff

Next step, Tulum baby 🥵

Take care

NEXT PART

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and dating Veronica Sawyer

(Not my gif)(requested by anonymous)

- You meet Veronica in the lunch room as she’s walking around with Heather. You’re sat at a table with your friends when the two girls come up to your table and ask you the daily poll.

- When she sees you for the first time she just can’t seem to take her eyes off of you. At first she thinks perhaps it’s because she hasn’t seen you around school before or just out of admiration for your style/features. But then you complimented her outfit and she internally lost her shit for a good minute, it was then she realized that this was not in fact a normal reaction and something was going on with her.

- Soon enough she realizes what exactly is going on and it ...slightly troubles her. Where she’s from being gay isn’t exactly normal nor really accepted.

- As much as she doesn’t particularly like/trust the Heathers she also has no one else to talk to, so with reluctance she tells them about her feelings for you. Heather C basically just says “Well you didn’t pick the worst chick to want to date. She’s not a total mutant like some of these people…could use some more blush though.”

- It’s easy to forget that the Heathers and Veronica were actually friends no matter how catty they could be with one another. They still sort of want the best for each other so when Veronica confides in them they attempt to give her any advice they can. They do do her a favor (without her knowing) and invite you to ‘Become a Heather’ which you slightly agree to meaning you and Veronica get close.

- She doesn’t really know what to do about her feelings, she wants to act on them but that doesn’t feel like an option considering where she’s from. She writes a lot of diary entries about you and her feelings just to get everything out.

- You both do that whole ‘you stare at the person and when the person looks at you, you look away then that person stares at you until you look at them’ thing.

- Her heart races every time you compliment her and vice versa (but she doesn’t know that just yet).

- She begins to write you secret admirer notes. You have no idea it’s her because she disguises her handwriting every time she writes them. It kind of makes her smile when she gets to hear all about how cute you find the little letters and seeing all the Heathers giggle along as you read them.

- You only find out its her when you catch her slipping one into your locker but at the time you assume it’s just an invitation to a party or some notes you might have missed from class. It’s only when schools over that you get to read what she dropped in and it’s another lovey dovey note.

- You call her after school to hangout and when she comes to your house you act as though everything’s normal until you hand her the note. She tenses up and freezes in her place as you wait for a response. As quickly as she can she tries to apologize and explain herself before you stop her, telling her it’s alright.

“It is?”

“It is.”

“...You’re not mad?”

“No, in fact I’m quite happy.”

“...really?”

“Yes really, I’m just waiting.”

“For what?”

“For you to ask me out.” She looks at you completely shocked before a smile spreads across her face and she asks you out.

- The two of you go to a bookstore where you both split apart and find a book you think the other will enjoy. After you meet up again you go back to her place and read together while listening to some soft music.

- Your first kiss is that day as your date ends. She stops you as you’re about to open the door to her room and puts a hand on your cheek, leaning in and kissing you. The two of you break apart smiling and you leave her house happy and excited with your new relationship.

- A lot of kissing and cuddling.

- She’s open to sex pretty early on so it depends if you want to or not, she doesn’t want you to feel pressured to do it. 

- She’s a self admitted mini genius so she’s happy to help you study and plan your calendar.

- She definitely forges notes/passes so that she can get you out of class with her. You just have to hint at needing a signature or something and she’ll do it for you.

- Horror movies are her ally. She loves having you grab her hand whenever you get a good scare.

- She’s probably a little insecure after having been friends with Heather Chandler for so long and being the talk of the school for better and for worse. 

- She tells you you’re beautiful all the time and gives you this adorable little smile when you tell her the same. 

- She sort of prefers to stay out of the spotlight especially when you’re together just in case people start to get suspicious. She’ll grab a lunch table in the far corner of the cafeteria or the two of you will eat somewhere else together.

- The Heathers usually butt their way into your lunch dates or dates in general. They’ll just show up and sit with you all while starting a conversation about something that’s just happened to them.

- The Heathers choose to ignore your relationship, it’s not that they don’t like it just that they think it’s best to be willfully ignorant. They’re still getting used to the fact that they know not one but two gay/bi/etc girls.

- She’s a raging pessimist most of the time but you brighten up her outlook on life. 

- You guys play croquet a lot. She’s happy to teach you if you dont know how to play.

- Her room is really cosy so you guys hangout in there a lot. It’s also a bonus that her parents are completely clueless as to what you two actually are. They just think you’re really good friends like her and the Heathers.

- She writes you little poems every now and again.

- Makes up overdramatic plays to entertain you starring a very overdone preformance by her.

- She wants to protect you all the time, she knows just how mean people can be.

- She usually has an arm around your shoulder or looped with your own during the school day. It’s a normal thing for ‘ friends’ especially the Heathers to be affectionate with each other so no one questions it.

- Pâté with her parents.

- You have dinner at her house at least once a week, afterwards you, her and her parents sit and watch tv together.

- She definitely has some deep rooted issues that she doesn’t talk about (in the movie you’ll see that now and again she tries to hurt herself). You try to help her anyway you can but ultimately wait until she’s ready to come to you about what wrong with her.

- Being there when she needs someone to rant to especially about Heather C.

- She can always tell when something’s wrong and makes sure to be there for you when you need it.

- Having to bite your tongue whenever someone flirts with one of you or the both of you at the same time.

- She strokes your hair absentmindedly whenever you’re sitting and watching tv together.

- Fights are usually screaming matches but they’re resolved pretty easily and quickly so it’s never really that bad.

- Doing stupid shit together.

“What if we like coughed up a phlegm glob or something?”

- Photobooth pictures of the two of you

- She loves your praise especially when it’s about something other than her looks. She’s used to people thinking she’s pretty so it’s a nice change when you compliment something about her that she’s actually proud of.

“Tell me how good this is”

“It’s great”

- Cue a cute little smile.

- Knowing each other’s locker combos and borrowing each other’s stuff.

- You probably join the yearbook committee with her and the two of you help each other with your work.

- Morbid jokes.

- Getting your designated color for when you’re with the Heathers. They subtly make sure it looks good with Veronicas blue, that’s how you know they support the two of you together.

- Taking care of her whenever she gets drunk/sick at parties. You’ve had to hold her hair as she pukes more than a few times.

- Quick comebacks that never fail to make you laugh.

- Taking naps together after school.

- Gossiping and making fun of people together for shits and giggles.

- Convincing her to hang out with Betty Finn more, she’s an absolute sweetheart to the two of you.

- Helping her accessorize since she apparently can’t do it for shit.

- She’ll say “love you” over the phone but she has a little trouble saying it in person. It makes her a little embarrassed and she ends up getting tongue tied before she can get it out.

- You offhandedly talk about the future, like she’ll make a comment like ‘we should do this next year’ or ‘god I could marry you’ or ‘next year I’m going to take you to do this’ and the ever so common ‘after highschool I’m blowing this town and taking you with me’.

[bennybentacles]

TUActober 2020: day 9 - beauty parlor

(prompt by @totallyevan )

i dont remember writing this last night but i proofread it today and oh boy was i in for a shock

|...|

the thing about being sheltered his whole life then running away with his ghost brother is that Klaus really does not know how to live outside the bubble that he resided on his whole life. 

 

"what do you mean i have to pay?" he asks his dead brother before wincing as several people look at his way. "maybe don't act like an idiot don't you think?" ben quipped, hands shoved in his pocket as his whole face got covered by his hoodie. 

 

"i am not acting like an idiot!— oh" Klaus is not used to not talking to ghost. he grew up his whole life shouting at the unseen and was never looked at it weirdly yet in this town, far from his home, people don't know him as the séance. he's just a random boy acting like a lunatic

 

"yeah" and Ben nodded ince, then twice and Klaus grins softly at that. "so what should we do now that we are free?" his hands spread out as he turned around, not stopping even as he hit someone.

 

"fuck off"

 

"fuck you too mr. asshole" as he looked back at Ben, who only sighed. "waffles. you need to eat"

.....

living in the streets is a nightmare, Klaus realized soon enough. there are criminals everywhere. nowhere is safe yet he still pushes on, grins as he pickpockets and swears as he runs from people

 

it was only after he had pickpocket from someone when he saw the establishment from across the street. betty bootician, a small place crammed in the middle of a tattoo parlour and a liquor store. 

 

"Klaus no" Ben said, eyes looking at Klaus and he only grinned wider. "oh Bennyboy we have money" and he crossed the street

 

Klaus thinks that he is having the best day of his life. he would finally, finally go inside something that he only hoped to enter when he was younger. he saw woman exit these kind of establishment with prepped up looks and he want to feel prepped up too

 

with hands slightly shaking, he knocked on the front desk softly. "do you- do you do nails?" Klaus figured out nails is a good choice. his hair is still short despite the months that he spent in the streets and he doesn't really want to color it either. and also because it remind him of his sister, a lot 

 

"... yes" and he grin. "fabulous. because i was thinking black and orange for the whole halloween vibes" its still September but he does not really care and it seems like neither does the lady because he saw how she grinned brightly before leading him into one of the chairs.

 

" so halloween?" and he grins as he started to explain what he wants his fingers to look like. "pumpkins. lots of pumpkins— no Ben that's stupid— fine. and also one planchette please" 

 

Klaus feels great, honestly great. he spent a lot of money on himself, probably way too much but he likes the way that his nails looks, likes the way it reminds him of his sister and likes the way that he could talk to his brother without the lady looking at him in disgust.

 

"yoi weren't reported missing" the lady, Patricia, suddenly told him in the middle if painting a pumpkin on his nail and he stopped muttering to his brotherin shock. "what?"

 

"umbrella kid. i saw the tattoo. you weren't reported missing" she mutters before looking up at him. "i honestly thought you retired with the kraken and rumour" and she continued doing his nails while he swallows down his shock.

 

"thank you" he whispers the moment the gel polish dried up and he could stand up without his nails sticking on anythibg. "anytime kid"

 

dazed, Klaus went out of the parlour, hands shaking as he realized what that meant. he has no idea where the hell are his siblings. "they are not back home anymore" he whispers, eyes looking at Ben before he saw what is behind his brother.

 

"i know" and he nods before he pushed his hair off his forehead, feet slowly taking him to the place he saw. the tattoo parlour.

 

"Klaus that's stupid" and he just scoffed before goibg in. the moment he got out, his hands are wrapped, nails still intact as he walked away from the place. hello and goodbye now on his hands. 

[thehighestmountains]

taylor swift's new (now old when im writing this) album, folklore, is by far my favorite album shes come out with. dare i say my favorite album of all time.. no, no, i can’t. you know those wonderful mature songs sandwiched between all the pop-py, repetitive songs: this is that album. i do understand when people say this album is quite boring, many songs sound similar, but if you are a fan of indie folk, you will be able to pick up on the subtleness.

note: the lyrics i post below with each song, im emphasizing them for the musical moment, the way the song sounds at that point, not necessarily the words themselves.

1. peace. this is a musically and lyrically beautiful song. not only is every second of this song captivating, it physically pulls me on my heartstrings when she asks would it be enough if she could never give him peace. the vulnerability and also acceptance of the consequences of her unique circumstance is palpable - she feels it, i feel it. 

The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?

I talk shit with my friends, it's like I'm wasting your honor

2. my tears ricochet. i would honestly just paste the whole song below, because again, this entire song is interesting and flows so beautifully - the way it climaxes at the end of every bridge just rings and echos. its very moody, sullen.

And I still talk to you When I'm screaming at the sky And when you can't sleep at night You hear my stolen lullabies

3. epiphany. im particularly invested in the first half of this song, it feels like sitting in the pews of a silent, empty church with your head hung low.

Crawling up the beaches now Sir, I think he's bleedin' out

Holds your hand through plastic now Doc, I think she's crashin' out

4. the lakes. im in love with the chorus, and the first verse. its romantic, cottage core (not that this entire album isn’t cottage core).

Take me to the lakes, where all the poets went to die I don't belong, and my beloved, neither do you

5. mad woman. im literally feel angrier and sadder singing along, that women are mocked of their hysteria that you caused. shes huffing under the weight of these industry men.

The master of spin has a couple side flings Good wives always know She should be mad, should be scathing like me, but

6. illicit affairs. the way this song blossoms from shy, embarrassment to i dont deserve this, anger, is truly beautiful story telling. my only thing is that it ends quite suddenly.

Don't call me "kid," don't call me "baby" Look at this idiotic fool that you made me You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else

as you might be able to tell at this point, i really enjoy the later half of the album, and thats because i listened to the first half when it first came out over and over and over again until it was a gray snot rag. then i waited a whole month or whatever to listen to the second half. thats just how i chose to do this. so im actually sick of the first half, but i do remember which were my favorites:

7. the last great american dynasty. i think the fact that taylor was able to find a similarity, a connection with this woman who had previously owned her home and write a wonderful story about it is charming and plays until the whole folklore concept.

8. seven. the contrast between the verses and the chorus is so fun, like how is this the same song?

Sweet tea in the summer Cross my heart, won’t tell no other And though I can't recall your face I still got love for you

9. invisible string. although cheesy, the writing of this song really sells it for me. i absolutely adore the way the lyrics are in this song, the format “.* was a .*”. she retells all these lovely details. its dreamy, its a great ode to love and its complicated relationship with time.

Time, curious time Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs

Time, mystical time Cutting me open, then healing me fine

Time, wondrous time Gave me the blues and then purple-pink skies

10. the 1. this is really a wonderful break up song, when youre at stage 5 of acceptance “and it's alright now”.

I thought I saw you at the bus stop, I didn't though

Persist and resist the temptation to ask you If one thing had been different Would everything be different today?

11. cardigan. i actually bothers me that this is clearly a lana del ray song, but its none the less a good song, and when she sings “i knew you” before the start of every uniquely different chorus, i can feel her heartbreak.

I knew you Tried to change the ending Peter losing Wendy, I

12. exile. the culmination of their two voices and ballooning at the end is stunning artistically.

13. august. the first half is slightly predictable, it rises and falls exactly where you think, but the way the second half of the song does a 180, and i quite enjoy it.

Do you remember? Remember when I pulled up And said "Get in the car" And then canceled my plans Just in case you'd call Back when I was living for the hope of it all For the hope of it all "Meet me behind the mall"

14. betty. i do think this is a great complement and light hearted balance to the more serious side of the album. its kind of a fun vibe when youre in your car, singing along “will you love me, will you hold me”, but if i want teen romance songs, i prefer august over betty. 

Standing in your cardigan Kissing in my car again Stopped at a streetlight, you know I miss you

15. hoax. i dont quite understand what the song is about, where is she coming from? who did this to her? im genuinely confused, but with nearly every song at the bottom of this list, theres still moments i enjoy.

Stood on the cliffside Screaming, "Give me a reason" Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in

16. this is me trying. this doesnt do anything for me. she sings that she is trying, but is she really? im not at all convinced in fact. also this lyric is disgusting: “I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere”. ??? i still like the bridge, an escape from the rest of the song:

It's hard to be anywhere these days When all I want is you You're a flashback in a film reel On the one screen in my town

17. mirrorball. this is skippable. “You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes Spinning in my highest heels, love” is sickly sweet, this is no real backbone to this song. again, the bridge is an escape from the cotton candy swirl of a song:

And they called off the circus Burned the disco down When they sent home the horses And the rodeo clowns

jesus christ, did i do it, did i do all the songs, that was so many songs. we ended on a sour note, but i still think this album is a 10/10.

[allyredlover]

My thoughts about folklore

Cardigan MV: MAGICAL, the water scene? So cool, I love the piano being the lifeline

The 1: piano? I love her,, TAYLOR SAYING SHIT,, chill vibes, lover but like this love kind of, “roaring 20s tossing pennies in the pool” , “if my wishes were true it would’ve been you,,” I love the background vocals, the lyricism are incredible. “The greatest loves of all time are over now” “in my defense I HAVE NONE” background vocals again! Bridge! Persist and resist?

Cardigan: percussion in the back? second part of first verse talking about rep? Levi’s and the iiiiii part? Hand under my sweatshirt?? miss TAYLOR! the BRIDGE, “stars around my scars but now I’m bleeding” the parts about knowing what would happen, the sweetness of nostalgia

The Last Great American Dynasty: tension——the DRUM beat, upbeat? This is a story? Feeling like starlight, who is this about? Is this that mad woman from the later bit? Pool in champagne, like TIWWCHNT! It’s picking up! I kind of really like the chorus, like really really like it. MARVELOUS is my new favorite word I think

Exile: piano! And this is a feature, so chill, like I want to float in a pool with this playing like the feeling of contentment this is giving me.”I think I’ve seen this film before, and I didn’t like the ending” the bridge, is so cool and it’s very pretty, Taylor’s voice is so so so pretty in this, very like the chorus after the bridge in Treacherous. “We always walked a very thin line” HAUNTED REFERENCE

My tears ricochet: the background! And it stops! It’s traveling earbud to earbud! Why do I feel like I’m going to cry? “Even on my worst day, did I deserve all the hell you gave me...I loved you...til my dying day” Cold as You who? “Same jewels I have you as you buried me” the word and imagery of this ALBUM “CURSING MY NAME WISHING I STAYED” YES YOU CAN GO WHERE YOU WANT “BUT JUST NOT HOME” OH MY GOD I-“BUT NOW IM SCREAMING AT THE SKY” “YOULL HEAR MY STOLEN LULLABIES” I love this “BATTLESHIPS” AND IT PICKS UP “you had to kill me but it KILLED YOU JUST THE SAME” good god this song is so good like

Mirrorball: please man I need a pick me up,, 70S VIBES FROM THE VOCALS, what is a mirror ball? Ah, thank you Taylor. “Hush, when no one is around my dear” is so pretty “on my tallest tiptoes, spinning my highest heels, love, shining just for you” so pretty the vocals on that part. “I CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING ABOUT ME JUST TO FIT IN” yes taylor you ARE A DISCO BALL GET INTO IT 💃🏼 SHINING JUST FOR YOU is so happy it makes me so happy, this is such like a happy song but like at the same time so freaking sad, so bittersweet

Seven: Aw this is so sweet, ah the snaps in the back is so cute! This is about her childhood! How cute!! “SWEET TEA IN THE SUMMER CROSS YOUR HEART CANT TELL NO OTHER” SLAPS this the second VERSE oh my god I’m gonna cry from that “why your dads always mad...you won’t have to cry” “I love you to the moon and Saturn” 🥺

August: chill and beachy vibes from the lyrics,!! THE CHORUS! AH! LOVE IT! “Cuz it was never mine” “CUZ YOU WERE NEVER MINE” “for me it was ENOUGH TO LIVE FOR THE HOPE OF IT ALL” “CUZ YOU WERE MINE TO LOSE” is so beautiful!! Yes taylor bring back the OUTRO yesss outros make me so damn happy “meet me behind the mall” “cancelling my plans just in case you called” STRINGS IN THE BACK I REPEAT STRINGS IN THE BACK IM SO HAPPY I LOVE ORCHESTRAL THINGS

This is Me Trying: ooooooh I like it so far the beat and instrumentation “but I’m here in your doorway” THAT WAS FROM BEFORE IN THE ALBUM (I’m too tired to remember which song but IT WAS THERE IM NOT SLEEP DEPRIVED) “at least youre trying” sounds HEAVENLY DIVINE IMMACULATE MARVELOUS the movie references! That was a thing! THAT WAS A THING! “At least I’m trying✨”

Illicit Affairs: guitar! Guitar! Taylor! With a guitar! “Ends with meetings in parking lots” “born with just a single glance but it dies and it dies and it dies a million little times” leaving no trace behind? Oooh is she the other woman or something man this is sad

“LOOK AT THIS GODFORSAKEN MESS YOU MADE ME” “LOOK AT THIS IDIOTIC FOOL YOU MADE ME” “and you know damn well for you I would ruin myself” the pain, the anguish, death by a thousand cuts

Invisible String: interesting backing, we’re doing some fun rainbows,, I love how “clues” sounds I want that repeated until my death, ahahahaha Taylor yes reference yourself, SHE SAID I LOOKED LIKE AN AMERICAN SINGER; dive bar? Delicate who? Too many references that this isn’t about her and joe, DEEP BLUE BUT YOU PAINTED ME GOLDEN!

Mad Woman: please tell me this is about the last great American dynasty? Or is it an allusion to the Kanye and the scooter stuff? TAYLOR SAYS FUCK! AH! “And you find something to wrap your noose around” and also the piano? can you tell yet that I like piano? “AND WOMEN LIKE HUNTING WITCHES TOO” omg THIS IS about KANYE AND KIM, IDSB, THIS IS ABOUT KANYE AND KIM. “COUPLE SIDE THINGS” THROW THAT SHADE THROW IT THROW IT THROW IT! MAATHBP but like make it about 2016s snakegate

Epiphany: track 13! SO CHILL, SO CHILL, LOVE THIS, LOVEEEEEE LOVE LOVE LOVE, LOVE LOVE LOVE. The vibes are IMMACULATE, the LYRICS, love it love it LOVE IT. WHAT oh my GOSH this is high key so SAD “DOC I THINK SHES CRASHING” DONT DIE NO ‘only 20 minutes to sleep?’ WHAT DOES IT MEAN? “Watch you bleeding OUT” NO, the background vocals I love this though, good god, HEARTBEAT BACKGROUND MY GOD NO THEYRE GONNA DIE ARENT THEY? It’s fading? Are they dying? Am I reading this wrong? Idc I love it

Betty: this is written with that William guy who doesn’t exist. HARMONICA, folkkkkkkk. “The worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you” HOLY SHOOT, mentioning summer! is this the guy that CHEATED? OH NO THE POOR OTHER GIRL AND POOR BETTY THIS IS SO SAD also the guiTAR! KEY CHANGE KEY CHANGE KEY CHANGE! oh my god the CARDIGAN,

Peace: ooh I’m anxious. THE GUITAR RIFF? Love IT, “If your cascade, ocean wave blues come//All these people think love's for show//But I would die for you in secret” “sit with you in the trenches” GIVE YOU A CHILD? SEE YOUR BROTHER AS MY BROTHER, THIS IS ABOUT TAYLOR AND JOE :))))) “you have a friend in me” vs “it’s nice to have a friend”. She could never give him peace because she’s a celebrity obviously, which is what I think this about

Hoax: last song on standard,, PIANO? LYRICS? I’m literally not even going to list them they’re all beautiful, but the vocals on “Stood on the cliffside screaming, ‘Give me a reason’ Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in” slight of hand? Card sharks playing games? please this is so sad, she sounds so SAD in the BRIDGE god, “but what you did was just as dark”

The Lakes: how do I listen to it? Lmao can’t find it and I’m tired

Wow Taylor outdid herself with the lyrics on this album, absolutely incredible, and the vibe is so chill but like sad and it’s like if Safe and Sound and Lover (the album) had a baby, but like with the sad songs on red, like Sad Beautiful Tragic fits right in here. Anyways I love it to pieces. Good night y’all 💗

[kittarana]

Obey me - shall we date?: “A cold day at the Devildom” (ONE SHOT MC - Tarana)

Obey me - "A cold day at the Devildom" ONE SHOT

Hello there! Usually I’m a silent reader and distributor of hearts or reblogs but this night I got inspired and thought: “Why not trying to write a one shot?” For me, it’s been a long time since I wrote fanfictions active and because of my new love for this game, I couldn’t resist after all.

I hope you enjoy this one shot. Comments are welcome, especially because of word choice or grammar (English isn’t my mother tongue), I’m glad if I can improve myself. This truly motivates to keep writing one shots or new headcanons.

Your kittarana :3

It was a distinct cold day at the Devildom. On Earth, it would be autumn right now and that meant only one thing: Halloween was coming. To Tarana's surprise, the devils will very much like to fete that kind of holiday and scare other inhabitants like angels or humans, or simply go partying. The partying part got Asmo, he's delighted to go partying for a few days because Halloween can't be only celebrated one single day. This can't be adopted by someone like the Avatar of Lust, the party demon himself. Much to the regret of Tarana. She found out right away that the whole household will go partying. Because of Tarana being a human and the fact that she brought a cat with her, they will contemplate going partying for one night, although they all prefer partying a bit longer. If it’s even that enjoyful, one of the brothers could bring her back to the House of Lamentation where her little Betty awaits her.

Asmo's the most curious one at this case because he would love to know what naughty stuff could happen at this long holiday. Tarana feels a little bit unsafe at this moment as she examines the faces of all nearby demons. Beel is eating a giant burger he just made for himself after Tarana went grocery shopping while Belphie is sleeping nearby at the couch. He cuddles with his cow imprinted pillow, snoring silently. Satan reads a book near the cozy fireplace, but that's what Tarana is supposed to believe at this moment. The truth was that Satan had already read this book about the Middle Age epidemics and just wants to find out what the others are discussing about, so he's only pretending to be fully focused on the first written records about the Black Death chapter. In the meantime, Mammon turned one chair around and sits there, folded his arm and abuts them on the chair back. He is sitting near the chess table, trying his best to keep his vibrant blue eyes glued to the red-haired human. And if somebody is interested about the current state of Leviathan, you won't be surprised right now. After he heard out the words "Halloween" and "party", he ran away to his bedroom and left Tarana all by herself, unprotected. Their actual plan, to play some shooter games together, got shattered because of Asmo who had his own plans to meet.

"Come on, Tarana. This is going to be so much fun!", Asmo is already trying to encourage the redhead to show more excitement for the upcoming holiday. Tarana only sighs and rolls her eyes as she sees Asmo trying to gently stroke her shoulders. Today, Tarana seems to be extremely attractive and Asmo was trying to figure out why. Was she using a new perfume? Is it her reddish wavy hair? Or was is just her farouche attitude what made him more aroused than usual? He needed to investigate and searched for answers while approaching her.

"Asmo, darling. Why am I the only one who's not so sure anymore about the last part? Of course, this will be fun for you to be drunk and try to score with me but isn’t this whole partying kind of...Umm, I dont know. DANGEROUS for me as the only human?", Tarana's blue eyes wander around until they focus Lucifer's, seeking any kind of help from him. "Lucifer. You do not have a thing to say? Usually you would stop the lecher immediately."

Asmo pouts as he just got rejected, the Avatar of Lust only sighs sadly but she just crosses her arms in front of her upper body, shaking her head in disbelief and seeks distance from Asmodeus. "Usually I do. Yes. However, Halloween is part of the most important holidays at the Devildom and we even got an invitation from Diavolo himself. He is expecting anyone with this invitation to come to this holiday event. Even you, Tarana."

Indignantly, she rakes her manicured pale fingers through her long wavy hair while chewing on her lip. Her vague coralish lips are taking on an even stronger color as she causes her lip to swell slightly. Her lips appear to be fuller now, what some eyes can't miss that easily. Mammon blushes with a delicate smile on his lips while basing his head on his crossed arms. He wasn't sure what was different at this cold day today but the fact that his human was wearing a black high-waisted a-line skirt with a greyish oversized pullover, black over knees and dark tights made the Avatar of Greed feel flustered. Of course, he would be unable to say this out loud but his little human looked pretty hot in this outfit, showing off her hourglass figure. 

"I hate partying and you are fully aware of that fact, Lucifer.", her looks are getting darker as her eyes are beginning to reflect an upcoming thunderstorm. Although the Avatar of Pride can't be intimidated that easily, this human often showed him the exception. She may be only an exchange student and the representative of the Human World but her capacities and her hidden wrath are incalculable. Satan senses her upcoming anger about this situation and looks up from his book. A small smile appears. He knows how much anger she's hiding inside herself, always pretending to be a calm person so that others don't get suspicious. For him, she appears to be like a female version of himself right now. The only difference between them was the cause of this wrath. Satan's messed up origin can't be compared with her past experience which made her unsettled 24/7. Satan considers talking with her about it because he’s still unsure what makes her feel so mad all the time.

Asmo senses her upcoming anger immediately and giggles. He is expecting an interesting occur, hoping for a bit drama before the holidays. His brothers aren’t offering him enough entertainment but the discussions between Lucifer and Tarana are like a drama movie - if he’s trying to make her fulfill her duties, she rejects it immediately and provokes him until he is about to kill her. She never shows fear when he transforms and shows his demonic appeareance, and nobody knows why she always acts like an everlasting flower - especially in front of a mad Lucifer.

It could happen so fast and she’s chopped into tiny pieces but she doesn’t care at all. One time, Asmo tried to find out why she always appears fearless in front of Lucifer but she just shrugs. Her answer was: “I used to be afraid of death and dying in general but I lost this feeling after I realized how cruel life can be. How cruel it can take anything what is important to you. So I basically don’t care about it anymore. If it is supposed to happen, I wouldn’t mind it.”

"Of course I know your dislike towards parties but it's an official invitation so", he approaches her before grabbing her wrist and pulls her closer. Shortly, you can hear her heels toddling at the parquet floor before she stands still again, right in front of Lucifer. His tall appearance is reminding her of someone she does not wish to remember at this moment but she can't stop staring at the oldest brother right now. Their eyes meet, demon occurs human. Lucifer is huffing silently as he takes a closer look at the little human standing right in front of him. Usually he doesn’t show any affect when he’s talking with Tarana or more like disputing with her. Of course, he understands why his brothers love Tarana that much. Her innocent smile while showing off her big mouth is definitely a tempting combination. However, during such an important topic she shall not reject him. His pride can’t allow him becoming soft in front of her.

"You will come with us, even if I have to carry you over my shoulder. Even if I have to punish you for your rebellious attitude.", his last words sounded more like an excited temper, filled with hope that he could get a chance to punish her reasonable for this rebellious attitude in front of him. He doesn’t want to anger Diavolo because of a tiny stubborn human, it doesn’t even matter for him that her cute looks makes his heart leaping every time.

Tarana feels how her body is getting colder with his strict words. WIthout a doubt, daddy Lucifer just entered the room. He wants to make her tremble, make her feel anxious and unsure about this, but he begins to forget himself because of this overwhelming pride he yearns for. She tears off of his grip, not looking away. 

He won’t win that easy.

"I'd love to see you try, Stiefellecker*.", she turns away with an elegant twist, not turning back and exits the living room. What she isn't noticing right now is a dumbfounded Lucifer, unsure of the current situation which just occured.

What did she just call him?

It became silent in the room. Beelzebub stopped chewing, Belphie woke up after he heard the loud taps of Tarana’s heels and Satan’s eyes rised. The three brothers exchange an concerned look before staring at Lucifer.

Only Lucifer's faltering breathing could be heard. His shoulders start to shake, Asmo gulps. This time the topic went too far. Asmo supposes that Tarana said something inappropriate but he just couldn’t figure out what that word is supposed to mean. What just happened? Before Lucifer's temper tantrum could possibly destroy the entire living room, it gets interrupted by a Mammon who can't hold his laughter anymore. He's snorting with laughter.

"Why are you laughing, you idiot? Are you crazy?! Lucifer will kill you right now.", Asmo is not amused, his twitchy tone shows his concern. The adressed one ignores him completely while getting up from his chair. He's still laughing. "Mammon, you’re so dead right now.", Satan is shaking his head because he already knows what is going to happen right now. "I'm not surprised you guys don't know this word. It's from one of her mother tongues. You forgot where she's from?" "You know what she just said?", Beel's stomach is grumbling but the tense situation still caught his attention. It made him even hungrier and the burger wasn’t enough, sadly. "Sure, I do. And she's not happy at all right now.", with that words he leaves the place before Lucifer turns into his demon form and hunts Mammon till the Celestial Realm.

The other brothers stare at the Avatar of Greed who leaves the place, looking for Tarana to comfort her. According to him, she desperately needs the GREAT Mammon at her side. And nobody would stop him right now - not a mad Lucifer, not a terrified Leviathan and not the others who are now trying to calm his eldest brother down.

Oh, and btw...*Stiefellecker is german and means *bootliker or simply said, a *toady.

If you look closely how much time and effort Lucifer puts into any kind of business with Diavolo while trying to impress him in any way possible, it acts like a good insult towards the Avatar of Pride. if you’re truly mad and doesn’t care about any kind of consequences, go ahead and use it in front of him.

Personally, I wouldn’t be so afraid either because I love to test out risks :D

Does this need a sequel?

[beendressingforrevenge]

My review of Folklore (first listen feelings)

The 1 - "I'm on some new shit" 🥰🥰. Chill vibes feeling very soothing. If you never bleed you're never gunna grow!! If my wishes came true it woulda been you!! Never leaving well enough alone HUH TAYLOR I see you there. The ending Oooohoooohoh

Cardigan - the slinky feel is amazing. I absolutely love the vibe and the softness in the lyrics. Friend to all is a friend to none. You drew stars around my scars but now I'm bleeding. Marked me like a bloodstain. Peter losing wendy. The imagery!! When you are young they assume you know nothing and then switching straight to "I knew you".... the way she's playing with emphasis is lovely. You'd come back to me/you could stay parallel.

Tlgad - ooh the beat is cool on this one. Only so far new money goes. Oh snap. This is so cutting. Her fault it fell down. She had a marvellous time ruining everything. Pool with champagne again huh. Card game bets. Most shameless woman this town has ever seen. So many implications of "they say". Again with the different style of emphasis. So this is the story of taylors house? Love it. LOUDEST WOMAN this town has ever seen. I had a marvellous tiiiiiIIIIiiiime ruining everything.

Exile - you're not my homeland anymore so what am I defending??? Also the use of films, a recurrent theme in taylors music since fearless. The low register of taylors voice.... delicious. Those eyes add insult to injury. Who am offending now? The step up in piano pace. The echoing vocals. Walked a very thin line. The swell of vocals overlapping. The contradictions and the almost argumentative nature of the vocals is great. Lyrically I'm getting Cold As You/White Horse vibes for some reason?

My tears ricochet - the opposing oohs in each ear is so eerie but I love it? If I'm on fire you'll be made of ashes too. Hero imagery is strong in this album. Same jewels I gave you to bury me... dang. I can anywhere I want just not home... just after the song exile is so powerful. Stolen lullabyes!! The way she repeats but changes the lyrics is so good.

Mirrorball - layering of vocals is beautiful. Shining just for you. Confessional nature of the song echoing the sadness. Masquerade revellers. How can she sing 'rodeo clowns' and its sad and mournful and not jokes? Still on that trapeze trying everything to keep you looking at me.

Seven - lol tay you didnt peak at 7 😂. This is also gay. We can be pirates and you wont have to cry is so soft and also badass. Used to scream ferociously!! I still got lOove for you. Move to india together? I love this so much. Passing down stories in folk songs. This is soft and sweet. Outro is like a melancholy dance.

August - the melody of this song is perfect. August slipped away into a moment of time. The way that the vocals step back at that part? Is so good? She is really playing with the arrangements of instruments and vocals and its so interesting. You werent mine to lose! Twisting in bedsheets.... hello daylight. Cancelled my plans in case you called... living for the hope of it all. The way that line echos and switches sides and moves throughout the arrangement is so cleverly done.

This is me trying - afterglow and btd vibes. The arrangement swells and beats are kind of off putting but in a good way? I got wasted like all my potential - THIS LYRIC IS ME. Pouring my heart out to a stranger - also me. This song is attacking me personally. For real taylor. Bridge feels a little forced ... hm. But I do love the "at least I'm trying" part.

Illicit affairs - wow this is so deep and dark. Tell them you're going for a run... cause you'll be flushed. The force behind "HIM". A dwindling mercurial high! The fact that she says die then lie in the second verse. Dont call me kid dont call me baby look at this godforsaken mess that you made me. Showed me colours you know I cant see with anyone else. This is heartbreaking. SECRET LANGUAGE I CANT SPEAK WITH ANYONE ELSE. This song is attacking me also.

Invisible string - loving the little jig of strings, kind of safe and sound/eyes open reminiscent. Focusing on colours as a means to remember - a theme in her work. Seeeeeeee and Meeeeeeeee is so lovely. It is pretty to think there was some invisible string all along. SINGLE THREAD OF GOLD taaaaylor. Now she sends their babies presents 🥰. I just love the run on "me" and "oh".

Mad woman - they strike to kill and you know I will. You made her like that. This song is giving me chills. Wow. The faint record scratches. Breathe flames every time I talk. Women like hunting witches too. Wanting me dead has brought you two together. RIP Kimye. Nothing like a maaaaaad *deep voice* woman. Master of spin has a couple of side flings... should be scathing like me but no one likes a mad woman. Lyrical artistry. Kind of Better Than Revenge vibes?

Epiphany - swell into the song is a slow build which is very true to the name of the song. The "keep" note is so raw and open? Again this is so different from her usual style. Down/down is giving me chills. Something med school didnt cover - you mean all of it tay? Voice dipping at hold your hand through plastic now is.... good. I feel this may also be about her mother/COVID? A fading outro. This song has me all kinds of confused

Betty - guitar and harmonica is so nostalgic? Riding on my skateboard is the new scooter. This is so gay. Also love the way she uses "garden". The emphasis on words is so unique in this song. The juxtapositions in this song are so great. Also wtf did they do to betty? The way she links words is so reminiscent of the way people think and wish about things and hope and dream of stuff. It feels like authentic to the way thoughts swirl and a stream of consciousness but also very lyrically sound. Excellent songwriting!

Peace - love the spacey intro and the highpaced ticking alongside the slower string piece. I could never give you peace ... feels like the beat vs the calm strings. Dreamscapes on the wall. I'm wasting your honour and then a soft piano added to the mix. Kind of the middle ground between the two. Give you a child 👀. Robbers to the east and clowns to the west. Taylor maybe he wants rain. They think its for show but I would die for you in secret. Keep your brittle fire warm.

Hoax - like a 3 note intro! Eclipsed sun 😪 the sad vibes. Windless fight. These images are so forlorn. The echoing melodies are adding to this vibe. Faithless love is the only hoax I believe in?? Ugh BLUE is back. Love the imagery of this song. The cliffside. The barren love. The hoax of love. She doesnt want any other sadness. Still hurts under my scars from when they pulled me apart? What YOU DID WAS JUST AS DARK? Wow. She been hurt. Again the places she is putting emphasis is very different from her usual songwriting. Longer outro than intro is also very different for taylor. Interestiiiiing.

[justadissociation]

System Introduction

Hi, we’re a new system currently trying to work everything out. We made this blog after an EMDR session caused a dramatic shift during therapy that made the host aware of our multiplicity. She is still in denial so it’s pretty painful to write and share this, but we are trying hard. (comment added later by Beth: as we went through the process of writing this post it got easier even to see who is/was fronting at the given time. Even in the last two hours it has gotten easier.)

Jennifer especially wanted to share herself, and I’m just going to let her go for it, - Ci.

Hi, I’m Jen and I’ve been co-fronting while being called Ciera for about... 4 years now, though I have memories that go back to early the early teens that Ci does not remember. I don’t want to call myself a persecutor, but at least 3 other head mates think I am in times of crisis; my true role I see as a sexual “protector”. When the body is touched or we enter into a new relationship I’m almost always forced to front. I feel the most connected to the body, as a young female cis woman. I’m bisexual like Ci; I love runway shows + high fashion + design. Right now I’m stuck listening to the Bird of Prey soundtrack, and dont know if I want to be or be with Dinah Lance.

I’m Betty (Bethany/Beth), a maternal protector. I often co-front with Ci to do daily tasks like take meds, answer the phone, and meet new people. Friends mean everything to me, meaning both my alters and our friends out in the world. I’m around 40 years old. Usually I feel pretty comfortable in the body, though “she” is smaller than I feel I should be. I wrote more about my memories with Ci and then.. we don’t know if we can share. Beth keeps the littles out of the front at work, even when they’re triggered by a new puppy or see a kid they want to be friends with. I’m learning sign language.

Princess (8) and Willa (6) are the two littles currently known by the system, and while they are social butterflies and want to be connected with everyone, they are afraid to reach out and introduce themselves and we are careful not to push them. Especially Willa spends all of her fronting time doing art, and also colors and watches movies to distract herself in the head space. Princess is a bit more demanding. She only likes to eat certain foods and is easily triggered to throw up whenever the body eats onions or tomatoes (which really sucks because I love French Dips -Bethany) she’s also the kind to ask for a new treat or toy every time we see one, and is why people view us as so childish.

Grandpa is the only male alter currently aware in our system; he is a paternal protector and helps us talk to Ci’s step-father. He suffers the most extreme dysmorphia of all of the alters (which makes since because hes old as balls -jen) He’s in his late 60s, and often watches the littles in the head space while “the girls” are fronting. He likes to fish, do outdoors chores like chop wood and take our dog on a walk. He’s the most outdoorsy of the human alters, and the only to enjoy watching sports like racing and soccer. (I also like watching basketball -jen. We are *horrible* at playing basketball. -Ci I said watching.)

I feel uncomfortable introducing myself because as the host I can’t tell if I’m experiencing psychosis or not. I’ve always considered myself to be a very spiritual person; a braided soul (young alongside old) as well as a “traveler” who slips in and out of their reality. But I’m learning that these intense feelings and beliefs may be DID/OSDD, and thats why I made this blog. This is Ci btw. I started having extreme migraines as a child, and one at 8 years old that I believe caused my first switch. Its unknown to us if there was any trauma before this time, simply because we cannot remember. I often bring up memories from my young childhood which my mother claims are untrue, or I will hear stories from family that I can’t recall at all. We are currently undergoing new diagnosis and EMDR therapy. Hopefully, as we keep going the secrets we hide will uncover themselves. We went thru sexual trauma as an early teen that caused Jen to shift in, which was uncomfortable in itself because she was so much older than the body at the time. This has followed us into all of our adult relationships, of which we have always ended the relationship. We think people like our dexterous personality, however one person is never enough for us and we can’t settle on one sexuality. I think this has been the biggest downfall of all of our relationships.

Thats it for now. We have so much more to say, but can’t say it without someone in the system feeling uncomfortable. Thank you for reading. 

We’re interested in reaching out to other systems, if anyone wants to talk please send us a message. 

[mentalmimosa]

don’t wait up (part ii)

Previous installment here: [mentalmimosa.tumblr.com/post/184502459550/dont-wait-up]

Spoilers for Endgame.

The bar is crowded already and it’s barely nine. The front door’s propped open and you can catch the music, the chatter, from a full block away. Bucky slows as he approaches and so do you, trailing gently behind him now as he stops to chat with a few people clustered outside, drinks in hand and smiles when they see Bucky, smiles that go on for days.

They ignore you once he ducks inside, once you pick up the pace a bit and follow him in. Not one of them, young and stupid and happy, gives you a second look, which is exactly how it should be.

You came Brewster’s often enough when you lived up the street: for a beer, a chance to hear the game on the radio when yours was spazzing out, to listen to the old men who held down the place bicker about women who’d left them, women they’d never married, women who were walking by on the street. Back then, you thought you could teach yourself to want to the right things if you tried hard enough; if you stared at a girl’s chest or at her skirt as she walked away, traced its sway, tried to imagine your hand sliding beneath it and finding softness instead of the rough swell of an eager dick.

You tried. For years, did you try. It didn’t take.

You’re a romantic, Bucky had told you philosophically, his hands lost in the soapy depths of the sink. That’s your problem, Stevie. You’re one of those guys who can’t get it up until he meets the right girl.

You’d poked him hard, index into the meat of his shoulder. Just because I’m not a letch doesn’t mean I don’t know how my dick works.

He’d laughed and turned on the tap, started rinsing a plate. I ain’t saying you don’t. What I’m saying is that you gotta give yourself time, is all. It’ll happen. You’ll meet her someday, a Betty who’ll get all your wheels going.

I will, huh?

Yeah, and knowing you, she’ll be some real classy type. Smarter than hell, of course, and tough, too. He’d grinned at you as you snatched the plate away, went after it hard with a towel. She’ll have to be, won’t she, huh? Whoever you get hitched to, kid, they’ll need to call you on your shit.

You shook your head and held out your hand. Bucky was always so damn pokey with the dishes. I thought that was your job, Buck.

Oh, it is, Bucky said. It is. But once you find that pretty lady, there won’t be enough spring in your ego to take both of us knocking you back into line.

He’s wearing that same cockiness tonight, the chip on his shoulder, the smile that refuses to dim. You don’t make a show of keeping eyes on him, but then, he makes it easy: he’s the most beautiful one in the place.

You perch at the end of the bar where you remember the old men gathering like hens; they aren’t here tonight, though. They never liked it rowdy. Made it too hard to enjoy their cheap gin. The bartender finds you, eventually, and gives up an I’m sorry shrug.

“Sorry to keep you hanging,” he says. “Saturdays, jesus. It’s like a zoo in here.”

You spread your hands and smile. “It’s ok. Must be good for business.”

He snorts. “Good, sure, maybe for the till. But there’s gonna be some shit in here tonight, I can feel it.” He sighs. “Five bucks says somebody puts a chair through the plate glass window again. Happens every damn spring.”

You order a whiskey on the rocks and he comes back with it double quick. Lingers for a second. You can feel his eyes scrape your face.

“You just get back in port or something?” he says.

“Why do you ask?”

He scrubs a hand over his chin. “That beard, son. You been away from a razor for a good long while, it looks like, which makes me think Navy. I was on a ship back in ‘14 and some guys were too scared of the waves to ever shave until they were back on dry land.”

You chuckle. “Were you?”

“Nah, not really. Never could manage more than a peach fuzz back then.”

You’d been careful about your beard--it afforded you some security, you’d figured, the ability to pass, and so far, it’s worked out all right. But the bartender has a point: nobody under 50 back in the day would be caught dead with these kind of whiskers; take the lifeline, you tell yourself. Don’t sink.

“Yeah,” you say, “you got me. We just landed in port last night.” You tug at your tie, smooth a palm down your white shirt. “That’s what I get for trying to play civvie, huh?”

The bartender opens his mouth, clearly delighted, but from the other end of the bar, there’s a shout:

“Hey, Chase! You gonna talk to your sweetheart all night? We got thirsty people down here!”

Chase winces and then rolls his eyes at you. “What’d I tell you?” he says mournfully. “Ain’t even 10 and they’re all ready itching for a fight.”

You scan the crowd as he moves away and find Bucky on the dance floor, a flowery redhead in his arms. The talk is so loud you wonder how they can hear the music--Benny Goodman, maybe, something with a sway and a swing--but then you see his head bent to her ear, her head falling back in laughter, his smile when she moves closer and tightens her grip.

You don’t really have a plan for this evening, beyond being in the same place as him. You trusted yourself, the urgency of your circumstances, to help you find your way to him--Ok, you tell yourself rueful, you did have a plan. It’s called a wing and a prayer. An approach Tony would’ve approved of: just turning in the right direction and hurling yourself in. There’s a twinge in your gut when you think of him, an ache, and now is not the time to examine that, is it? You’ve got your hands full with enough of your past.

You rattle the ice in your glass and order another. Tony would’ve approved of that, too.

By the time it’s down the hatch and Chase has refused your money--“From one sailor to another, put that shit away”--Bucky’s moved on to a blonde. The music’s slow now, a sweetheart’s kind of lament, and her head is on his shoulder, her hands clasped around his back. You can see his hips sway, his arm turned tight around her waist. They look good together.

So good that it gets you off the stool and weaving pointedly through the crush; so good that when you tap him on the shoulder and say “May I cut in?” the look he gives you would cut glass.

“Honey,” he says to the girl, her brown eyes suddenly wide, “this gentleman wants to take you away from me for a minute. Are you ok with that?”

The girl looks you up and down, so slow it makes you blush, and when her gaze finds yours again, she’s grinning. “Oh, yeah,” she says. “I’m fine.”

Your heart is in your ears, being this close to him; the movement of the crowd has you pressed a bit against his back. He smells of clean sweat and the damned cologne and even as he lets the girl go and she curls into your grip, his eyes never leave you.

“I’ll be over there when you’re done,” he says to the girl over the din. “In the corner booth by the cigarette machine.”

She doesn’t spare him a glance. “Ok.” You watch him stalk off, the blood in his face high. He keeps looking back. Maybe he’s looking at the girl, sleek and white sheathed and practically purring in your arms. Or maybe, your intuition tells you, instinct on the rocks with hope, he's watching you.