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#i found comfort in him as a char
skymagpie · 4 months
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Me at 13, reading Unbroken (Nobundo's short story) and getting traumatized by like all of it is why WoW has an age restriction
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tacticalgrandma · 10 months
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I’m going to break my skeleton trying to process tonight’s dnd session
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being alive at the time i gleaned some general elements abt encanto but never actually heard we don't talk about bruno beyond awareness it existed popping off & i think i heard like the title recited off key off rhythm but in a way that indicates speak singing nonetheless lol so upon experiencing it it's like oh but it's the Verses? while the last refrain goes harder but prior to that it's comparatively underwhelming to said verses which feels appropriate like verses / pieces of a larger picture & that a "we don't talk about him" as a disappointing Lid on infinitely richer more characterful & dynamic "but: talking about him" instances. like well personally it'd be like um seven foot frame....anyway besides being able to firsthand go like oh damn Real (the kind of thing you know exists if alive at the time) it's like alright hang on lol. one thing when a core theme is yeah like "is it a refuge if 'especial' vulnerability ultimately gets pushed out rather than made safer" subset like the parties whose even observation of truths (problems) & drawing attention to them is seen as Ruining Things, like if you're painted as Making futures that aren't simply what's desired or reassuring rather than a guidance via just observing & sharing the truth. but then it's like whaddaya mean living in fear of bruno stuttering and stumbling you could always hear him sort of muttering and mumbling lmao like now that's just Association between the Truth Perceiving & Telling behavior & behavior that's just apparently distinctive of the same person. & like Not Accidentally when [what if people were magic] specifics are obviously primarily abt a metaphorical meaning & like, indeed it was made clear like oh this situation isn't Just b/c [boo we hate your prophecies] & that [an Ability that isn't directed towards what anyone Wants / is "weird" even by these magic standards] isn't Coincidentally given to someone who just so happens to already be "weird" in other ways & be set up to have a different perspective & be pushed away due to having the supposed "extra" vulnerability of unmet needs / insufficient support, same as someone who doesn't "correctly" have any kind of magic ability....like yeah banger and also like Oh Yeah Kind Of Devastating re: that metaphorical resonance allowing for like [set the metaphor aside] now hang on with this about this disabled family member lol. misinterpretation to The Ruinerrr / The Problemmm / The Maliciousss etc (i.e. the scapegoatinggg) despite their efforts likely entirely to the contrary. then despite like, efforts aside, Just Existing, always kind of muttering & mumbling like & what of it. & then like oh sorry weird pets. weird [auspicious for adaptable tenacious thriving surviving; either way simply creatures, existing] pets.
truly like As Is The Idea I'm Sure quickly becomes like hands behind back standing at the window Uh Oh Sisters musing on all the [disabled person] metaphorical & already literal elements there. blair witching it in contemplation like We've All Been There whether being so resented for the mere disruption of "existing in a group as the 'abnormal' odd one out" or like people talking shit abt anything associated w/you as soon as you've left the room, which is also made relevant like, this wasn't Only directed at this person when seemingly permanently gone, nor were they unaware / unaffected prior....pacing in the Musing parlor like things don't Have to be compared to billions but i only ever even see so many things & it's like billions sure is like "get scapegoated rword" & then said scapegoating is presented as only beneficial & we hate autists & even beyond that it's like, grabbing billions, Imagine If Things Meant To Be About Something Were About Something. quite a contrast when they are & furthermore like, deliberate thought & Care for [who gets scapegoated & why] & the truth of like, people getting pushed aside & out who have a key perspective & are primed / liable to come through for others similarly vulnerable & the supposedly Ruinous, Problems Generating disruptiveness is actually the strongest effort to make essential changes to a group. & come through with like, it'd be undermining thee point if it was "reassuring" us like oh haha people will be supportive b/c bruno will be more normal, so great that it Didn't like no, no Normality Reassurance(tm), presence of abnormalities(tm), Good, & everyone Can Deal b/c if you don't then it's pushing this person away, is exactly what happens, including even if they're still Around but are being mistreated b/c that is entirely part of that pushing away like anyone's victim blaming is ready to pounce at any time but if someone can't stand to stay / leaves b/c they can't see another option like that's not out of nowhere nor Regardless of what full support & flexibility they were getting lol. these Active Measures everyone loves so much, which are everywhere always & would include Staying & Trying To Make It Work & those efforts would be "disruptive" & resented & Bringing It On Oneself & etccc smh
that is to all say like. Woww when clearly basically the core thread was these beats of like, the crucial site of [thee scapegoated], & why that comes down on someone & how that plays out. endless ideas about how someone weird(tm) & disabled (&/or queer. but there's no Or here lol. & again like it's a Context like, to even be the one person without kids? likely not living up to "full" correct sexuality in that way alone; any oppression's logics of "inferiority" being logics of ableism, ready examples being that "inferior" race, gender, sexuality (& their experiences as people classed as inferior) all being pathologized as disordered) are seen & treated as someone Ruining Things & who cannot belong like whew. bracing. winding. which, i also recall like i was watching with headphones & during this one dialogue pause i was like "?? what's this Extra Sound i heard there" & had to go over it like twice before being hit upside the head like well it Was still the dialogue pause but it was also bruno Stuttering in a very quiet whisper for the duration of that pause before continuing like iiiiiiii x_x
#[sitting waiting right here] for billions to have its vulnerable weird scapegoated misfit outcasts actually band together lmao....#like Sure Doesn't b/c billions is like we all hate weirdos & we all love telling them to shut tf up & go away to die or w/e. correctly#can't believe ultimately the Different fund disappears w/o its scapegoat & the Correct ''weird'' char is full axe cap mode finally#& it's sure not a Comment when billions affectionately gives them their free heavenly reward & Ensure zero scapegoating consequences#the [imagine if something about something was about something] approach to Banished Relatives being thoughtful & loving like#& here you see how even As they're banished everything isn't Really fixed for it incl. that people aren't Really just happy he's gone#billions is like no we killed him And everyone has gladly & legitimately forgotten he exists (save the instant it's time to use him)#the hilarious(tm) tragedies surrounding rian like billions' can't make her ''care'' abt winston be anything save more violence#can't pretend rian was anything more than [again we all Know your nads like w/taylor like w/winston] bagina + dialogue source combo in s6#when it's still dimly relevant for prince in s7 but you miss Nothing re: rian if you have no idea that plotline exists#& speaking of actual ''weirdness'' rian was never allowed to have: the tragedy of the tension of Closeted Transness present on screen fr#just as billions has no idea / further willingness to let rian be so ''weird'' as to actually care abt winston or abt not being a bully Lol#meanwhile i figured like oh i'll like a scapegoat. did know ahead of time like bruno's just some guy; not even ''redeemable'' antagonist#but In Practice & w/all that beloved Disabledness & crucial appreciation like you Need this guy; the understanding is Key#like well ofc i would kill for him. ofc just constant like mhm go off king slay fire etc. god tier character cherished forever thanks#but then also like im sure a zillion [intention; inspiration; thoughts] going into Tfw Family Things characters; a zillion interpretions &#thoughts to follow like it truly is Arresting like this clarity on A Disabled Person In The Group like. much much to consider & whew.#reference point like when autistic ppl in some job see an obvious [problem to future mess] pipeline; so you know bruno madrigal. My Vision#When You're So Hated like hey i wanna live unseen w/my so hated little friends lol. just reread how to disappear completely never be found#when it's like grabbing people Who Cares if someone's being ''obviously'' disabled or weird just as how they are existing godddd#people get so mean like Who Cares just talk to them; be around them. some effort some mind your own business some You're Not Above Them#when it's obviously You like yeah. nonzero but limited applicability like [specifically my own nuclear family] but re: Weird; Disabled#as ever i'll Relate & be like but i probably seem nothing like that. or maybe i am very much like that. kind of difficult to tell b/c like#you Do get the disinterest lol & feedback is Not that familiar / in depth even if positive like well. the emergent So Hated / Scapegoating#noting like if a character just seems refreshingly familiar; Understood; comfortable; fun; what's the odds they're cishet allistic lol....#anyway the epiphany like oh it was figurative blink & you miss it stuttering....did [waiiit] Pace that one off like inhaaale Waugh#in fact i'm sure the Verbalizing Effort has staved off the kind of [thinks about all of it a moment] to go Aauughhh about again#which; again; also something happening 5 yrs in re: the clairvoyant soothsayer autistic neuroqueer quant on the show w/No Thoughts abt it#ppl being invalidated by others having to validate themselves (& others in the same boat); billions going & How We Hate Them For It lol#oh & encanto's [excluded party's effort to partake] tragedy vs billions' [where's winston in this office? this event?] good riddance idc
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e1dritchjackal0pe · 2 months
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𝔗𝔬 𝔗𝔬𝔲𝔠𝔥 𝔉𝔦𝔯𝔢
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Summary: Isolated and weary of your solitary marriage with the prince, you gather enough courage to approach him one night with the declaration that the both of you try to become better acquainted. When you had proposed the idea, you never could have imagined how it would forever alter the dynamic of your union.
Warnings: 18+ content. Minor's scram. AFAB descriptions, some female implying terms used such as "wife." Fingering, Oral (F!Receiving), naked female and clothed male, some hints of sub Aemond, unprotected sex, creampie, breeding kink. Not proofread. Probably very poorly translated High Valyrian, blame the internet, not me. Aemond being a little shit, but also a little soft, just to balance it out. Aemond speaking in High Valyrian because it does unspeakable things to me.
Notes: 24.8k words. Another unnecessarily long fic because I have no self-control. Reader is a Baratheon. This was honestly just an excuse to write about dragon riding with Aemond. A little bit of Vhagar appreciation because she receives far too much hate.
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Life has not been easy as of late. With the threat of war ever-present, looming over the entirety of Westeros like a great storm cloud, thick and heavy with the promise of shrieking winds and a downpour violent enough to rip the foundations of the Seven Kingdoms from the earth and sweep them away in tides of blood. This war could be the end of it all. With dragonflame so readily at the disposal of both opposing sides, there is the possibility of no victors in this battle. All could very well wind up as a victim. Charred corpses to litter the burned lands, scorched black and red from fire and blood like forgotten toys carelessly left discarded and damaged by the children (or the gods) that played with them. 
It is becoming increasingly difficult to nudge it all - the paranoia and worry - back to the distant recesses of your mind. But it clings to you like a stubborn sickness. Making a home in the pit of your stomach like some vile, nauseating thing. It has you hopelessly adrift with no source of salvation to cling to. Especially now that you are in a place that brings you no comfort. Confined within the cold, labyrinthian walls of a castle that you do not truly know beyond the whispers of its name and the faint, watery memory of once dining in the Great Hall as a child while people jovially chattered and feasted on banquet. 
It's all so lost. Being forced to show a polite expression and nod and entertain lords and ladys that hold no true familiarity or warmth to you. Strangers with faces that would smile and stare as though they have known you for years. It is all so restricting. Binding and tight and clinging to your person like the new garments that you have been gifted with upon your arrival to the Red Keep; forced and expected to sport the customary garb and accessories of the Targaryen culture and trends. All wrapped up and pinned up in fine jewelry and embroidered fabrics like a prized broodmare. 
But perhaps then, even "prize mare" is giving yourself far too much praise. Prized pawn is far more fitting of a term. Just some plain, ordinary piece meant to be moved about the board at the whims of the player. Plucked to jump from square to checkered square with little care. You are a simple instrument on a much bigger board; the scope of which, you know is entirely beyond you and your imaginations. 
It makes it all so difficult to not be cross. To push down the anger that prickles at your flesh like hot coals and burns within the chasm of your ribcage. You feel cheated somewhat. Used and played with despite having prepared for this possibility since the moment you had been delivered from the safety of your mother's womb and into the chill of the world. It should be no shock that you have found no comfort. Not in your daily duties and the nugatory responsibilities and diversions you must fill your time with; all of the needlework, entertaining and book reading. It is tedious. Dull. Weak distractions against your harsh reality. That here, so far from home, you are well and truly at your lonesome. Wed to a man who wants little to do with you beyond your expected obligations.  Though you might truly have only yourself to blame for that. Your husband had worn his intentions on his sleeve when he had arrived Storm's End that one tempestuous evening, bearing his true colors to your father and your sisters when he had traded for the Baratheon House's allegiance and loyalty in the exchange for accepting your hand in marriage. He propositioned such terms swiftly. Shockingly so. Sheading little thought to the requirement - it was as easy as breathing for him. All while you stood alongside your sisters, being mindful to keep your spine rigid and head held high while your future was bartered away so easily; swallowing down the unease that stirred in your gut. 
And even with your reservations on the matter, and the buried urge to rush forward and object, you could not help but to study him from your place beside your siblings. You had heard stories of the Targaryen family your entire life. And although you had seen them once before as a young girl, the memories had done little properly illustrate the nearly ethereal grace with which he carried himself with. The first word that had crossed your mind when you first watched him prowl into your family's ancestorial home was simply just:
Stunning. 
For most men you would have used handsome, or dashing. And perhaps those words could be used for the likes of Prince Aemond Targaryen, but there's something about them that does not quite do him the proper justice. He was imposing as soon as he entered the space. Footsteps softly echoing along the stone floors as he approached your father's throne with nothing but pure confidence in his stride. As though you were the guests and not he. And like a moth drawn to a steady open flame your vision had immediately been caught and fastened onto him as though you were placed under spell. 
A simple, harmless fascination, you like to tell yourself. After all, it is not so strange to be captivated by a man who is said to be closer to a god than man; one who rides on the back of a great dragon. And when you first saw him, even with all your uncertainty of his arrival, it was impossible to look away. To try and not to study the countenance of a man you have heard so much about. Tracing the pronounced ridge of his aquiline nose, the keen cut of his jaw, the curved shape of his lips that were set with a slight purse. His features were decidedly sharp, but it suited him well with the assured way he held himself. The scar that marred the left side of his face could do nothing to damage his beauty. A beauty that is so inherently Valyrian. Attributes that mark someone who has blood of the dragon rushing through their veins, smoldering their hair into shades of smoke. And his hair was no different. Spilling down his back like rivulets of pale, silver silk. 
But it was his eye that had caught your attention the most. Even with only one to look, it peered at the world with a focus that was nearly unnerving. Locking onto your father in striking shades of either blue or violet - you could not tell at the time from the distance that had spaced between you. 
And in the moment that you had stood and evaluated him with a sense of wonder and dread, his eye had never flickered over to you. He had hardly spared you a glance. Holding his focus entirely on the Lord before him with the hints of a satisfied smirk nudging at the curled edges of his mouth, even while he held himself so composedly. Like he was truly pleased with the trajectory of the evening. The lack of his attentions on you should have been more than enough to clue you in on the trajectory of your life with the prince. Moreso than the ominous tempest that raged outside the stone walls. Downpours and thunder are no strangers to Storm's End, often ravaging the world beneath with flurries of rain and winds strong enough to lift waves to thrash the against the surface. But that day you had decided that the storm that had blotted out the golden hue of the sun was not simply just a common occurrence, but instead a bad omen. One brought on with the arrival of the prince, set as a warning - a blight on the future of your matrimony that heeded nothing but misery. And you had been right in some regards. 
You knew for certain that as soon as Aemond Targaryen had stepped away from you to stalk after his young nephew with the insistent ravings, flashing a blade with nothing but a crazed scorn in his voice, that you would find no solace within the cradle of your marriage to the prince. And the death of the Velaryon child and his dragon that swiftly followed that night only solidified that assumption. You are married to a mad man. 
One ruled by duty and strategy, but a mad man, nonetheless. 
Even with that in mind you could not help but to long for a connection with the prince. No matter how minuscule or spurious it might be. Your associations with the second born son have been spars at best. Done purely out of obligation at best. Each time you had ever been within each other's presence it had been out of a means to project the image of husband and wife that was expected by the masses and the court. The wedding, the feast you had partaken in, the consummation of your marriage. It was all done with an air of detachment from the prince. He was never rude, or untoward with you, but there was silent boundary that he had sliced between you with his absence and apparent lack of interest in your union. The nights that he would bed you were few and far in between. Done out of the necessity of producing an heir rather than a means to show affection. You could feel it in the clinical way that he touched you. Gentle, firm and somewhat rigid when he would guide you to bend over the foot of the bed with the palm of his hands, lifting up your skirts swiftly as though he is always eager to be done with it and somewhere else. 
You are not a foolish young girl anymore who would listen to your late mother's romantic stories and tales of besotted, star-crossed lovers with a rapt, captivated attention. You now know the nature of marriages. Especially those of highborn society. The expectations of them. They are often done out of the means to strengthen political alliances, not done out of a declaration of love. 
Still, it would be nice to at least know the man that you are set to spend the remainder of your life until the Stranger finally takes you from this mortal realm. The desire for it burned at you, ate at you with teeth that ripped and gnawed at your heart piece by vicious piece until you felt hollow. Not even Queen Alicent, despite her best, though often rare efforts to bring you ease has managed to pull you from the depths of your melancholy.
You wanted more. You were weary of belonging to a stranger. A man who made no attempts for as much simple conversation with you but spent every waking moment strategizing for bloodshed and the success of his house. You knew that if you meant to alter the course of your union with the prince that it is you who must go to him. And the thought of that terrified you greatly. 
You had heard the tales of those who dared to claim dragons that had no desire to be asserted. Those fools' endings were all same. Snapped up between the sharp maws of the great beasts to be swallowed in a gruesome lump of bloodied meat and crushed bone or engulfed in raging flames of bright, molten gold. You had absolutely no desire to become one of those fools. And despite knowing your husband so little, you were able to gather enough, that despite his cunning, he was also undeniably impulsive. Lead by the ferocity and the heat of the dragon blood that coursed throughout his body and burned within his soul like the fire they spit from their throats. If you went to him in the endeavor of drawing him into a connection that he truly did not seek, the only thing you might gain in turn is his ire. 
And so, you had resisted the urge for as long as you could. Settling for the brief interactions you shared during the supper's spent with the family, or the moments when he would meet you within your chambers to do his duty has husband and prince in the hopes of planting his seed and creating his successor. But it all quickly caught up with you. It was not enough, living on the meager crumbs that these encounters provided. Quickly you had decided that you would rather hypothetically get scorched alive by the scorn of your husband than continue to spend your days as a living dead woman, drifting about the cold corridors like a ghost wondering about the life that could have been, had you simply just confronted him. 
It was nearing the night, just little before the hour of the bat, that you found yourself standing outside the doors of his chambers, with soft lilac hues of the twilight slipping through the windows that lined the corridor and painted the floors in dusty shades of lavender. It was purely unbecoming of a young woman to be out so late without an escort, even if she was intending to meet with her husband. It had made the anxiety quivering in your chest even stronger. Fluttering like some wild, frightened creature while your mind swarmed with paranoia and hesitation. Your thoughts had seemed determined to persuade you from your intentions, begging that you turned heel and returned to your quarters before you were noticed. 
Perhaps he was already abed. Deep in slumber and at peace in his rest. Or perhaps he was not even in his chambers at all. Busy with matters beyond yourself. 
It was all almost enough to tear your feet from their place on the floor, but your body seemed eager to betray you, and before you could even notice the movement of your own hand, it was lifted and the sound of your knuckles rapping against the cool wood of the door had rung out within the confines of the hallway. Sharp, loud, and almost violent in your ears. Echoing out like nails being struck into the face of a coffin. 
You nearly flinched, mouth running dry at the realization of what you had just done, and with it the urge to flee had never been so great. Trembling up your spine like a cold breath. You had hoped that he would not answer. That he truly was asleep or vacant from his apartments, but like a twisted jest, the universe had answered your desires, and the sound of his voice slipped from beyond the door. Muffled by the obstruction, but no less commanding. Unable to ignore the call, you had drawn in a deep breath. Steeling yourself and the relentless patter of your heart before you drew the door open and slipped past the threshold with the drag of your skirts whispering ominously as you went. 
The air had seemed to shift when you had entered, and the shadows that clung to the corners and ceiling of the room felt as though it was prepared to swallow you whole, had it not been bayed away by the low flickering the candles that burned about the space like plumes of delicate amber. Your eyes had flitted about the quarters like a startled doe's, desperate to learn the structure of the area as though you might have to flee. Your vision had skipped over the various tomes and documents scattered about the tables; the random objects placed about in meager means of decoration. But you could appreciate them at least, for giving you a small glimpse into the mind of the man you have been bound to. Much like the chessboard left perched atop a tabletop, like a clue to his intelligence and keenness for scheming, and the quills and ink vials and parchment spread along his writing desk. 
But you were only able to distract yourself for so long before your attention had been tugged along as though by an invisible string to focus on the man sitting across the space from where you stood, one of the aforementioned documents held within one of his hands while he watched you steadily. His expression was mostly neutral. But even with how easily he was usually able to school his features, you could see the hint of surprise bleeding into his gaze. The subtle raise of his brow and the confused purse of his lips. You could practically see the question ready at the tip of his tongue, and you loathed the awkwardness that permeated the air. Stifling and prickling like a rash along your skin. 
"Wife," he finally greeted. Though you could still hear the dull bewilderment in the softness of his tone. 
It took you a moment to collect yourself, feebly trying to shake the uncertainty that still clung to you and when you had finally willed yourself to speak, you could only think the gods that your voice did not quiver, even though it was but a few words. "Lord husband," you returned the acknowledgement, nodding your chin slightly in substitute of a curtsy.  You watched closely as he gently placed the document in his hand down flat on the desk, tracing his face and the shadows the spilt across his features from the dim candlelight and the remaining, dull remnants of sunlight that managed to slip in through the windows; the reflection of the fire and sun glinting within the captivating shade of his eye. 
"To what do I owe the honor?" He inquired. 
It had been enough to snap you out of the daze that had clouded over you, jerking you from it so suddenly that you had nearly gasped with the realization that you had been staring. Embarrassment burned at your cheeks, hot and uncomfortable. You cleared your throat, straightening your shoulders in an effort to at least appear confident, but you swore that you had caught the edge of Prince Aemond's mouth twitching up in the semblance of a smile, letting you know that you had not succeeded in your aim. 
"I wished to speak to you." You had answered, clasping your fingers together in front of yourself, and you were now unable to ignore how clammy they had become. 
"So late in the evening?" Came his quick reply, the brow above his good eye perking ever so slightly. And if you did not know any better you would let yourself entertain the idea that it nearly sounded playful, had his face not been so woefully lacking joy. 
"Yes," you said just as fast. You had to ignore the weight of your tongue in your mouth. It suddenly felt too thick. Too clumsy. 
He only hummed in response to your answer. The sound was low and inquisitive, thrumming through the air like warm velvet. And though he had not spoken a word back to you, the singular eye that had he pinned you with bore into you with enough focus to drive you to speak. Forcing the words from your still lungs like a grip that did not exist. Wringing your breath from your body with only the weight of his gaze. "I would like . . . " Your voice died out as quickly as it had risen, snagging within your chest like it had been caught on something. It did not help that your nerves were alight. That your heart was beating wildly, like a skittish animal. But it was mostly just irritating. It had made you feel stupid, the way that your body refused to yield to your own commands. Far too caught within the spell of a primal sort of caution and reluctance to relent to something as easy as talking. 
"You would like to. . ?" Prince Aemond articulated the question slowly, letting it hang between the both of you, as though you were a child. Annoyance had spread throughout your flesh like a wildfire, and for one idiotic moment you contemplated snapping at him. But fortunately, your self-preservation still clung strong and forced you to be mindful of your tongue. 
"This may sound odd," you began, swallowing around the spit that had welled up within your mouth. "But I would like to get to know you better, my prince."  
It sounded completely stupid as soon as you heard it from your own ears, and a part of you had longed to wince but you remained surprisingly unflinching. But Aemond it seemed, had been taken by complete surprise. Even though the slip in his composure was quick and subtle, you caught it. The mild slump of his shoulders, the straightening of his posture, the soft pinch between his brows. All of these minute tells that told you so much, though they were gone just as quickly as they had shown. Melted away and replaced by a composure that must have taken him years to perfect. 
But no matter how small his shock had been, the sight of such a naked, human emotion flickering across his face was enough to break the barrage that sealed your voice. The words seemed to flow from you more freely then in a rush of thoughts and feelings; desperate to finally speak your mind and make peace with yourself, and most importantly him. 
"I hold no delusions over this marriage. I know that our union was a strategic one, brought on by the possibility of a looming war, and the foundations of it are clear." Your sight had flickered back up to his own once more, and the hold of his stare once again threatened to leave you breathless. "I realize that we are not truly lovers, however, I do not think that must mean we are to be strangers also. I wish to know you, husband. I do not expect your affections, or love, but I desire at least the possibility of your attentions. An understanding of each other. And perhaps, if it is willed, a sense of companionship. A comradery." 
He remained horrendously silent from his place across from you. Watching you with a keen eye while the hand that still rested along the desks surface fidgeted, the point of his mid-finger ceaselessly gliding along the back of his thumb. It had made you nervous, the way he watched you. Akin to a predator lurking in the shadows, awaiting its moment to strike for its prey's vulnerable throat. You must have stumbled. Foolishly, like the greedy men in all of those ancient folktales. You slipped within the dark and it was then you knew that the dragon was stirring; throat welling up with fire to burn you down for being so presumptuous. 
"So you are here, in the beginnings of the night, interrupting me in the midst of my duties, because you are lonely?" 
That all that you needed to know that you had truly wandered too close. Assumed and hoped too greatly. Blindly walking into the dragonpit to be burned alight like kindling for a fire. And even with irritation gnawing at you and begging that you speak out in your own defense, you had known that you must tread lightly, even while the prince scorned you like you were a naive girl child chasing after some witless fantasy. He wished to humiliate you it seemed, and even while he was entirely successful in his aim, you would not give him the satisfaction of showing it. But you knew that you had to be tactful. An unchecked rise of your emotions would only serve to go against you. 
"Yes, my prince," you had agreed without wavering. And much like your own, his gaze had shifted. The sardonic edge that it had held changed into something darker. More directed than even before. Studious almost. But no matter how much gravity it had held, it was no longer enough to withhold you from speaking. You kept your voice as light as possible, but the firmness, the fervor behind it was more than apparent, drifting out to fill the silence of his quarters. And with each sentence, you let the courage that you had not allowed before to guide you a step closer to the prince. "Yes, I long to know the man that I am to be tied to until death. Yes, I long to know the father of my future children. Yes, I long to know my husband." And with that you allowed yourself to halt after your final step. Then you were so close to his writing desk that if you had leaned over you could have easily reached out and touched him. But you remained fixed in your place, hands still clasped and shoulders high. "Regardless, if my husband will become a lover or simply an ally." 
He remained silent in his observations. Regarding you closely as though he expected you to suddenly give way underneath his stare and dash out of the room. But you did not. Not even when the chill of apprehension trembled along the expanse of your back, sneaking underneath the fabric of your garments like a cold draft. He shifted back in his seat, muscles coiling underneath the dark leathers of his doublet and for a moment you had considered the idea that he might lunge. That he would strike forward like the instincts of his blood no doubt urged him to do. At the very least, you had suspected cold words. A detached response that would order you to return back to your apartments and to leave him undisturbed of your person until he saw fit. 
"Very well then . . . Wife." His head tilted just the slightest when he addressed you, and the glint of his eye reflecting the light of the many candles seemed to bore into you; notching the words he spoke that much deeper and nourishing the surprise of his agreement. "I will make more of an effort to appease your loneliness, should it bring you ease." 
It was because of that decision - because of that night, that your relationship with the prince had been altered. No longer did he suit to sit along your side at social gatherings, tightlipped and rigid, but now he made somewhat of a strive. Much more than before. Though still quiet, he took more attempts to include you in the conversations that he would bother to indulge in. Typically, unremarkable topics that he would try to join you in on, like snide comment on the lords and ladies or an observation of your gowns. Prince Aemond, you easily concluded, had no idea how to speak to the fairer sex. A characteristic that you might have let yourself see as charming if he were not always so subtly contemptuous and withdrawn. Even with all of the improvements with his communications, his presence itself was still scarce. Constantly torn away by the impending threat of calamity and battle. 
And no matter how much you knew that his absence was entirely necessary for the good of the kingdom, especially after the Battle of Rook's Rest and the unexpected injuries that have left the King bedridden and near death, the prince was sparser than ever, with him assuming the role of Prince Regent in his brother's stead. But like a poison, that bitter, selfish part of you could not help but to be displeased by the near constant lack of his company.  
Today however . . . Today you might actually be regretting his attempts at companionship. 
"You still have not told me the nature of our outing, my prince!" You call to him, trudging after him like a shadow with your skirts bundled and clutched within your palms as you desperately attempt to keep up with his much longer stride uphill. The muscles of your calves have already begun to burn and ache with your body already growing weary of the incline, and the weight of your dress does little to aid you in your climb along the earth, still damp from last night's rain. Realistically, there are only a few paces between you and he, but in your mind, it feels as though there are stretches of land separating you. 
He only offers you the barest look, hardly even glancing over his shoulder at you as his long legs continue to carry him upward. "For someone who is so desperate for my time, I did not expect to hear any complaints," he answers, full of snark even though his tone remains just as steady and soft as always. 
Heat prickles at your cheeks. Though now, with your exertion, it is difficult to ascertain if it is simply from your efforts to trek after him or purely from annoyance. A retort rests heavy on your tongue, but you are unsure if you should bother spending your breath on it. It is tempting. But perhaps later. "It is no complaint; I am simply wondering just where it is that you are taking me. If you wished to go for a walk, perhaps the castle grounds would have sufficed . . . or at the very least, a mention of it would have given me time to at least prepare for more a suitable attire." 
He spares you another glance, managing to look down his nose at you from over his shoulder as he continues his ascent until he reaches the leveled crest of the knoll. Leaving you to chase after him while the damp soil, and soaked grass and wildflowers threaten to slip your traction out from underneath your feet with every step. You have never had the urge to strike the prince before, but here and now, you think that you could if he were only close enough. This time he opts to remain silent. Returning his attentions on what lies ahead of him, and it has a flicker of concern breathing to life inside of you. The paranoid, unfounded thought that he means to kill you tries to sprout. It would explain why he had lured you so far away from the safety of the castle walls, and why he had chosen to leave both of your mounts downhill and unattended to graze. How pathetic it would be, to be slain in the middle of the wood, like a dumb girl lured away by a fae in an old folktale. 
And if the treasonous whispers that dart about the castle are true, that he had been the one to strike down the king above the battlefield of Rook's Rest, then surely, he would have no qualms about killing the likes of you. 
Still, while irritation and caution thrums underneath your flesh, you cannot but help to stare at the expanse of his back as you near the top of the hill, taking in the sight of the confidence in his posture as he all but struts along the earth. The sunlight dances along the pale shade of his hair, bringing to life the faint hint of cream and soft gold that hides within the silver. He is gorgeous out here like this. Relaxed within the peace and confines of nature, while the little birds nestled inside the protection of neighboring trees chatter and trill. For a rare moment like this, touched by sunlight and the air, perfumed with the musk of a storm passed and the fragrance of flowers, it is easy to pretend that he is still not a complete stranger. That the impossible gap that seems to divide you both has grown closer, and he does not look to you as an obligation but as a comfort. 
Another fool's reverie perhaps. But a sweet one that you cannot help but entertain while you raise your muddied skirts to strengthen your stride and widen your steps in the hopes to gain on him. But then blessedly his pace finally begins to slow, giving you the means to finally draw in your straining breaths and lessen the expanse between you, making sure to near him from his right, so's not to walk in his blind spot. He tilts his body just the slightest, angling it so that he is able to give you his focus as you draw near, and you have to try your hardest not to gasp and gulp for air in front of him. You need to give him no more reasons to tease and prod at you. 
The glint of his eye, a color that you have now discovered to be a delicate, yet vibrant shade trapped between a soft blue and a muted purple draws you into his stare as you approach. It seems to hold you captive, grabbing your attention as you come to walk alongside him, no longer huffing and panting, and the ache in your legs begins to subside. 
"You have asked to become familiar with me," he speaks suddenly. Not a question at all, but a statement, and the mention of it has your brows raising just the slightest as you manage a nod. "All I ask of you is that you do not scream or allow yourself to panic." 
The sound of those words alone has ice prickling along your skin and settling within the pit of your chest. And the sensation of your apprehension melding with your bewilderment does little to aid you in properly asking him what he could have possibly meant by such a cryptic statement. The inquiry hangs heavy in your mouth like metal, and your jaw seems to open on its own in the means to ask him to clarify. But then, as though it had been timed, a guttural bellow rings out across the placid atmosphere. Humming so heavily that you feel the weight of it vibrate underneath your feet as though the earth were speaking, shaking a small flock of tiny birds from their perches within forest, forcing them to scatter and flee into the clear sky above. 
The abrupt noise of it has you all but tearing your vision from Prince Aemond's unbothered, observational expression to whatever lies ahead of you. And your eyes nearly bulge from their sockets at the sight of the behemoth that lies only several yards away. How you had managed to miss the sight of such a monumental creature is entirely beyond you. The only excuse you could possibly make is that the beast has flattened itself along the floor of the clearing, leathery wings lazily stretched open, head resting in the miniscule cover of the knee-high wildflowers and grasses that scatter along the hilltop in what might be some sort of attempt of basking itself underneath the suns glow. 
It is a beast that you easily recognize despite never truly having been within its presence. The sheer mass of the creature, and the rich green shade of its skin easily gives it away as the great Vhagar. You have heard of her name from countless stories. Those passed on down from generation to generation to speak of the ferocity and brutality of the battle hardened she-dragon, of how the size of her alone could blot out the sun from her flight. You have even caught glimpses of her in the air before. Often from within the confines of the castle while she soars high above and far from reach. None of those rare moments or stories had done any justice in depicting the true scale of her. 
And while you stand, gawking like a slack jawed idiot at the sight of her, you can only manage but to wonder the dumb, fleeting thought of how the Crown could ever possibly manage to supply enough sheep for her appetite. And then any semblance of awe or shock is twisted into a pure sense of dread and a primal fear. Your mind blanks as you try to form some sort of reason for you being here. Why Prince Aemond could possibly desire for you to meet his dragon, but you are left with naught. Something primordial and blazing sears throughout your veins with urge to run, but you find yourself frozen stock still instead while your lungs struggle to move and catch breath. You feel as though you have passed away on the spot and left your body behind to, trapped within this singular moment. 
It is not until the dragon begins to lift its head up inquisitively that you manage to regain any control of yourself at all. The sight of her lids peeling open to reveal blazing amber eyes are enough to force your lost voice back into the base of your throat. 
"Wha - why have you brought me here, Aemond?"  
The look he gives you is entirely unsympathetic. If anything, it seems to be amused. The corners of his lips threaten to perk in the shadow of an arrogant smile. If your heart did not feel as though it were seconds away from overexerting itself and giving out entirely, you are sure that this time, you would have struck him. You would love to hear the impact of your hand meeting the shape of his cheek and snuffing out the pompous way that he is holding himself, but he steps away from you before you can even think to act, fearlessly striding in the direction of the colossal dragon. 
"You long to know a dragonrider, lady wife," he answers with the cool timbre of his voice trailing after him and to you. "Flight with one with be the best way to make that connection." 
You are certain that your heart has well and truly stopped with that statement. That it turned still and unrooted itself from the cavern in your chest to plummet down below into your gut. And for a moment you wish that you have misheard him. Despite your internal panic, your brain manages to scramble and put the meaning of his words together quite quickly. The urge to refuse or ask him to clarify illudes you. You are far too bewildered. Too trapped within the seize of your own chaotic emotions to properly articulate yourself and your reservations. There's an anger stirring in you as well. Brewing and twisting with everything else, spurred on from the haughty glance he had given you before making his approach towards the beast he is bonded with. 
You try and fail to connect his reasoning. The logic entirely beyond you, but when you look upon his face it becomes quite clear. No matter how brief your eye contact had been, you saw the dare that had been dancing in his eye quite clearly. He was challenging you. He is expecting you to turn on your heel and run from the trial that he has set before you. And that has lit a sense of competition in yourself unlike any that you have ever felt before. 
He is no longer paying you any attention to see you coming to a sudden grip in resolve. Instead, he has drawn his observations to his dragon, who has lifted her head just enough in a proper greeting to accept the way that he runs a hand along the slop of her enormous muzzle, just above those massive, gnarled fangs that poke like her lips like daggers. The span of his fingers seems so small posted along the swell of her snout, like little more than a speck. And yet he stands before her so confidently. Free from the faintest edge of discomfort or fear. Instead, you hear him murmuring soft words to her. Speaking quietly as though she were a babe in need of praise or encouragement and not a battle worn goliath that has lain waste to armies and dragons alike.
The sound of his ancestor's tongue is beautiful as always. In your short time together, you have heard little of the language from the prince, but when you do manage to catch the glimmers of it from him you make sure to listen keenly. It flows past his lips like a rich silk; all but rumbling and sweeping around words that you do not know but find captivating regardless. It makes you wish that you did understand them. 
It is astonishing that no matter how small the prince appears now in comparison to her vast scale, he still holds himself so proudly. His shoulders are set straight, and head tilted high: the posture of royalty. All while he composes himself alongside a monster that could easily open her drooping maw and swallow him whole. 
But of course, she does not. A low grumble trembles forth from the wide set of her chest, reverberating throughout the air in a sound that could nearly be likened to the purr of a contented feline. It is shocking to see the famed - the feared Vhagar in such a light. And to similarly see the prince in such a manner as well. Both of them are calm. Peaceful on this tranquil, balmy evening. Untouched by their shared excitement for battle and bloodshed. 
It's akin to watching a pair of ruthless gods' slumber. 
And it seems to be that, more so than the sense of rivalry that has been kindled, that inspires you to move forward. No matter how uncertain you truly feel. Despite your reservations the odd sweetness of the situation still has you drawing close. All while a frigid kind of fear pools in your stomach. So, you try to focus on the little bits of life around you. The cheerful singing being carried by the birds of the forest, the soothing whisper of the air shifting the leaves, the saccharine scent of the colorful flowers that sway in the grass. It is all so soothing, so delicate. But still, it does little to appease the anxiety coursing throughout you as you grow closer to the beast. 
With each step forward, she seems to rise bigger; the growing proximity between you both only making her true mass even more apparent, as you are confronted with the mind-boggling truth of her scale. There is no safety of the castle walls to save you, the collection of the trees that surround you in a half circle would not serve to shield you should Vhagar decide that your presence is an irritant. Her potent fire would consume the forest and you with it with a single breath. Here and now, you know that you rely entirely on the word of Prince Aemond to keep her violent urges at bay. 
And that both comforts and terrifies you. 
You make your lungs draw in a shaky breath that does little to calm you as you step closer to the she-dragon. But you are certain that there is not a single thing on this earth that could truly bring you serenity as you bear witness to her. Never in your life have you ever stood before a being that has ever made you feel so miniscule. Not even the sight of the stars in the cradle of the night sky, in all of their multitudes and vastness as come close to the trepidation or awe that she has roused in you. You are small. Insignificant in terms of her looming stature. Pitiful in the decades that she has lived and the feats that she has achieved. You know now why the dragons are said to be old gods. You can hardly process that you are now right in front of one. Watching the rise and fall of her ribs as she pulls in massive breaths. The subtle shake of her wilting neck that shifts as she angles her head in your direction to study you with eyes that almost seem to burn with the fire contained within her. 
Her nostrils twitch as you come to stop alongside Prince Aemond; near enough that your shoulders nearly brush, but a part of you craves the dim amount of comfort that he provides. She is trying to smell you no doubt. Trying to take in your scent as means to familiarize herself with the stranger who travels with her rider. 
"You may touch her," Aemond offers. Or orders perhaps. 
It catches you completely off guard, like most things this evening. Regardless of the gentleness of his tone, it is difficult to tell if it is a suggestion or a command. Having what little knowledge you have of the prince in mind it was most likely the latter. Or it is another challenge of his. 
The sharp blue of his eye pierces through you once again like he is waiting for you to cower. But now, the prince's concerns and expectations are second at best when it comes to the interest of Vhagar. The brief flicker of your gaze on her confirms that she is still quite placid in mood. Her eyelids low with the remnants of the slumber that she had been goaded from. But that still does little to calm you. Dragons are unpredictable creatures. Gaining a trust of her this easily would be ignorance. 
"Does she wish me to?" You ask, and you see that twinge of what might be amusement grace Prince Aemond's features once again. 
"She will hardly pay you any mind." That is his assurance. A useless one. Your unease is strong. But your desire to please your husband, to beat this little challenge that he has set for you, and to form some sort of relationship with the prince - no matter how fragile - is stronger. With all the courage you can muster you begin to lift your hand. Slowly and steady in your movements as not to cause the beast any annoyance. You would not want to suggest to her that you feel entitled to touch her. Dragons can be opinionated things after all. 
A low noise rolls from her throat at the sight of your hand raised just above her muzzle, just where Aemond had lain his own earlier. It gives you pause. Old, primeval instincts rising inside of you bid you motionless. To wait and see what her move will be next. If she will calm or open her armored jaws to snap you between them. 
"Lykirī." 
It is Aemond's voice that speaks out. Low yet firm in its inflection as his tongue purrs out the elegant High Valyrian word in a silky drawl. You know not what he said, but it was enough to appease whatever offence you might have committed. She blinks slowly in response and the growl dies down into a soft silence. Still, you now find it difficult to lower your hand. Sensing your hesitance, or perhaps weary of it, Prince Aemond's own is suddenly engulfing the back of it, nearly threading his fingers with yours as he guides your palm downward. The weight of his flesh along yours comes as surprise. You have felt your husband's hands on you before. In much more intimate places, but it is the care with which he directs you with that almost seems foreign. New and delicate.
Currently he wears his gloves, usually seen on his hands whenever he intends to take flight, and you hate how a piece of you longs to feel them bare. To touch the callouses along his palm, made from wielding the grip of swords in combat and clasping the horns of Vhagar's saddle. It is a juxtaposition to the much softer skin of your own. But you do not find the texture of them offensive in the slightest. You could almost relish the sensation of it had they not been covered by soft hide instead. 
He leans his body much closer to yours. So much closer that the light brush of his breath glides over the side of your face and the length of your throat. The scent of him wafts from his body in the musk of leather, the spice of dragon smoke and the crisp fragrance of wind. It makes you wonder if he had flown long before he had come to the castle to retrieve you. It is all so distracting. The press of him along your arm, the mesmeric sound of his voice whispering soothing words in his ancestor's language. 
But reality comes back to you quickly in the weight of the dragon's flesh settling flat underneath your palm; rough and thick. You have heard before that dragons run hot. Heated up by the fire roaring within their chests. Those words have not prepared you for the warmth that radiates from her and the strength of it. Of the coarseness of her flesh. How sturdy it is. Much like the leathers used in creating amour. Though you suppose that the purpose of her skin is the same. 
Her massive nostrils flicker again and her eyes squint as she watches you. Studies you really. As though she is weighing and measuring you of your worth. Which is not a farfetched idea. It is the dragon, after all, who chooses its rider. She must be deciding if you are worthy of standing in her presence. 
The elation that floods you at the feeling of her beneath your hand comes like the scattering of butterflies. A smile threatens to break across your face at the small success. A rush of joy from still being alive after touching one of the most violent war dragons the earth has ever seen. 
"Are you prepared to ride?" 
Aemond's question rips you from your elation like a sudden storm smudging out the bright warmth of the sunlight. The smile that could have been dies out with the happiness that had filled you. It is water doused over embers. And with it the urge to snap at him is back in full force. No, you wished to answer, you are not prepared to ride, because you were not told that you would be expected to until only moments before. But you keep that complaint to yourself. Locked within tightly as not to offend the prince and the dragon whose massive mouth rests directly underneath your open palm. Still, many questions gush up and stir a torrent up within your mind. 
"How am I expected to do such a thing, my prince?" 
The look that crosses his face appears tired. It makes you wonder if you have somehow asked something foolish, but you come up empty on what that could have possibly been. It is a perfectly expected question. A dragon will only choose a single rider at a time. And only those who are blessed with Valyrian blood could have the potential honor of sharing such a bond. An ancient line that you have no direct lineage to. But the stare that the prince is holding you with now is one of exasperation, yet also sardonic. 
"You will sit on the saddle; I thought that much was apparent." His lips have pursed slightly, making his expression a blend of smug and annoyed. He is toying with you once again. It also makes his boundaries quite apparent. There is to be no possibility of a bond between the two of you unless you push when he shoves. If you let your offence get the better of you now while he clearly raises his challenge, then your relationship with him will be reduced to nothing more than his child bearer. A vessel for his future heirs. You shall not yield. Not even while your heart races like that of a rabbit who has been tricked into a corner by the snarling fangs of a hunter. 
You are soft but firm when you remove your hand from its place tucked between Vhagar's flesh and Aemond's palm. Your determination rests easily on your face as you turn to observe the netting of ropes that are draped down the side of her great neck as a means to climb astride her. Never has something seemed so daunting before. Not the day that you were bid to leave the familiarity of your life in Storm's End, nor the moment that you had given yourself over to Prince Aemond in matrimony. They all seem so little now as you allow your hand to grip one of the lines of worn rope. 
"Lykirī, Vhagar." 
A nervous sweat dampens your fingers as you squeeze your grip along the course lines, the frayed edges digging into your soft flesh. The sound of your husband placating the beast rings in your ears like a warning though she has not stirred from her position against the forest floor, even while another rumbling hum echos from her chest. It trembles throughout your arm from being so close to her, rattling up your bones. For a moment you contemplate removing yourself from the makeshift ladder, but the firm, urging glare that Aemond shoots you from his place beside you and the embers of your determination spur you to continue forward. 
"I will be behind you," you hear him promise as you haphazardly lift your skirts to enable yourself to place a foot upon one of the rungs. It is now you who hardly offers him a returned glance as you focus on raising yourself along the ropes. You expect for Vhagar to disturb upon the weight of you heaving yourself along her neck, but she does not. She remains blessedly stationary as you urge your body to move upward to scale the high length of her neck, for your mind to remain quiet and centered through your internal panic. The way that the ladder wobbles unsteadily as you work to lift yourself does little to quell the way that your stomach flips with the growing effects of nausea. 
You could swear that many moons have passed by the time that you have made it to the top of the ladder, where the ropes meet the smooth leather that creates the structure of the massive saddle. The seat of it is far greater than any other you have ever seen; those having been suited for horses and not the great backs of dragons. But even considering the long forward slop of what must be the equivalent of the rise and pommel and how the cantle stretches slightly backward to support the rider's spine during an upward flight, it is more than apparent that the seat is designed for only a single person. Every bit of grace room is only available for the positioning that must be required in flight. The design of it allowing for the rider to lean forward comfortably in the seat or relax backward, if necessary, but offering little more than that. 
If you were both truly meant to ride together it would be an awkward fit. Surely not one safe for something as perilous as flying. 
The urge to question this little goal of his rises up high. But instead of voicing your concerns you opt to follow through with his desires. If the two of you do truly not prove to fit on the seat and it turns into an ill sighted blunder on his part, then at least you will be able to silently bask in the pleasure of seeing his arrogance dim at the realization of it. 
You reach for some of the leather straps that lie between the junction of the rope ladder and the saddle, using your grip to hoist yourself upward again, slipping a foot into one of the rungs to push yourself within the range of saddle's lowest set of horns. Your fingers can only reach the base of the grip from your current height, but it is enough to enable you to hoist yourself towards the cradle of the saddle, though your muscles burn with the labor. Some torturous thought wonders what would happen should you slip and fall from such a height, and you struggle to block it out entirely as you continue your clumsy ascent. Using the hold that the flat of your feet have within the straps to keep yourself secure as you work on exchanging your hold from the lowest grip and onto one the horns belonging to the higher set to haul your body upward, swinging your right leg out to lurch across the seat. 
It strains your arms as you angle yourself, and the length of your skirts threaten to snag on the curve of your knee when your all but throw your body onto the saddle. But by the grace of the gods, you make it. Your chest slightly heaves from your lost breath, and your muddied skirts have pulled and rucked up above your knees in the most unbecoming manner from the stretch of your thighs around the width of the seat. But you hardly have the ability to pay it any mind while your nerves still cause your limbs to quiver, and your body burns with an excess of energy. 
While you collect your breath, clasping onto the horns of the saddle with both hands tightly enough for the edges of the leather bound around them to bite your palms, the sound of the wind's current whispering in your ear tugs you from your anxieties. 
It is then that you finally realize just where you sit. Comfortably astride the largest dragon, looking down on the world from the ridge of her back. You could see above the trees from this point, the stretches of the wood that gave and showed the lush rolling hills that expanded far beyond your sight. It was all so small and yet so vast this high up, once again making you realize the scope of your existence. You can spy glimpses of King's Landing up in the distance. The glimmer of the rooftops and the spires of the Red Keep, almost lightened in a shade of bronze from the cast of the evenings golden light. The sea beyond it glittering in a reflection of the sun, like a flat mound of shifting coins. 
The sudden weight of a hand clasping the grip along the free space just above your own snaps you from your awe. You hardly have time register it as the prince effortlessly swings himself into the saddle, notching a place for himself between your hips and the support of the cantle. His presence forces you to scoot further up along the swell of seat, much higher up than you are meant to be, but the press of his body flat against your own gives you little choice. The angle of it practically has your rump perched against his hips. And when his other arm reaches around your other side to grip the opposite horn of the saddle, you find that you have been completely enclosed in his body. His chest is pinned snug along your back, and you can feel the point of his chin nudge along your shoulder as he looks past you. 
There is something horribly intimate about it all. Something that you did not even think to consider when you agreed to this. But now that you can fully feel the warmth of him seeping through the layers of your garments to slip through your skin, you could not find any other word to call it. If your mind was not already so preoccupied with your anxieties, it would have easily latched onto the fact that your skirts are still indecently rucked around your thighs, improperly showing off the fabric of your stockings. It could have made you fidget or heat up with embarrassment had you the mind to, but you are far too preoccupied with what is to come. With the weight of your husband so near you. So high up here, with the wind stronger than it had been down along the ground, his scent seems to pool around you. It fills your lungs with musk and spice, and your body longs to draw it in like a glutton, but you do not allow yourself to. You manage yourself to maintain the steady inhales that you have been taking thus far. 
"Remain calm," he reminds you. 
As if on cue Vhagar begins to shift. Her giant head lifts from the meadows floor with a low grunt, as though the action alone costs her a great deal of energy, causing the weathered, battle worn flesh along her neck to wobble loosely along her throat. A bout of nervousness prickles in your gut as the motion jostles you forward. On reflex, your grip rightens around the horns, latching onto the pitiful bit of comfort they prove. Anxiety spreads along your fingertips and toes as she digs the wrists of her great wings into the earth to push herself onto her feet. A simple action, but for you it invokes nothing but unease. Her movements continue to nudge you about, all but prodding you backward to the press of Aemond's chest, and now you are actually thankful for how he is seated behind you. Offering a sense of support that you might have fainted without. 
You can feel the subtle shift of her muscles even through the saddle, and it wobbles just the slightest from the quiver caused by her old flesh. It has your unease spiking. And you think that you yourself could fly, fueled by nothing but your own apprehensions. 
There is a noticeable shift in how she holds herself once she balances on her legs. And incline in her spine lifts as she raises her head high, removing her weight from her wings to unfurl them. You can hear the leathery sound of the thin skin unraveling, spreading out wide enough like sails of a colossal ship preparing to leave port. 
You know what is coming, but you naught of how to weather it. All you can do is stare ahead, looking past the expanse of her neck and to the sky above that you will soon be soaring through. He must be able to sense your anxiety. Or perhaps he felt the tension of it in your back, in the rigid set of your shoulders, because he manages to press himself even closer against you. Like he means to cradle you to him. He releases a single hand from its grip long enough to place it along your waist to steady you. Your mind instantly latches onto the sudden pressure and warmth of it. Your body longing to lean into the weight of his palm but you keep yourself motionless as he leans himself close until you feel the brush of his words along your neck when he speaks. 
"Be still, wife." His voice rumbles out all placid and velvet. The sound of it so close to your ear that it has a tremble skipping down your spine. You can only hope that the thick of your combined attire hid it from him, but his hand flexes against your waist; fingertips pressing inward, and you know that he noticed it. But he fortunately makes no open marks of it. "With me as your guide you will be safe. When she begins her ascent, lean forward into it. It will help to keep you balanced." 
And as quickly as it had appeared, his hand is gone from its position on your waist to return its grip on the horn. You crave to have it back on you again. To have the support of it on you once more, even with the phantom sensations of it still live on your skin, though you do not bother to dwell on your foolish desires. You can only focus on the instructions that he had set. The direction of it serving to ground you, even as the saddle underneath shifts just the slightest as her wings expand. Now entirely unfurled. 
The anticipation of it weighed heavy. Murmuring across the air like something electrical as though you were in the midst of a storm and lightning looms ahead. But apart from a few scattered clouds, it was all but clear skies. Vhagar was prepared to soar. Her muscles were coiled, stretched and tense, and were it not for your being astride, you are certain that Aemond would have commanded her to take off much sooner. If that truly is the case, you are thankful. 
His ribs swell slightly along your back, and the command slices through the air, simultaneously exacting and clement: 
"Sōvēs!" 
Wind claps underneath the great stretch of her wings as she lifts them only to bring them down in a powerful downstroke. It snaps her from the ground in a quick lunge, and the sudden rush of being airborne causes your stomach to turn. You scramble to come to terms with the abrupt weightlessness of your body. It is like all of the breath has been snatched from the depths of your chest as Vhagar brandishes her wings in great, long stokes that sound akin to tremendous waves crashing against the surf; sharp and frightening like a whip slicing towards its target. 
A horrid thought enters your mind, whispering vile things, such as what would happen should you fall off. How you surely would not survive a plummet from such a height. It has your hands tightening around the grips of the saddle. Squeezing so harshly that your tender palms sting. But you almost welcome the burn of it. It is a good distraction from the nausea, from the disorientation that comes from rushing far from the earth so quickly. Now she truly begins her climb upward, and you just barely remind yourself of Aemond's previous command; tipping yourself forward to press yourself along the swell of the saddle as she rises. 
Much as he promised, the change in your posture does help to keep your seat firm as she works to bat her wings to scale her flight. Aemond dips down low after you, resting himself over your body to follow his own instructions. Even while Vhagar approaches her ascent at a slant, the incline is still enough to put strain on your arms as your own weight attempts to pull your backward. You can already feel the strain of it in your limbs, searing along your muscles and setting an ache deep near your bones. 
Never had you ever truly put in mind the physical prowess and endurance a dragonrider must have to properly seat their mount until now. It almost makes you feel idiotic that you would not have truly expected the demands that such a thing would imply. Already the wind claws at your face, slicing at your cheeks like it means to maim you, stinging at your eyes enough to prompt tears to pour. It is difficult to draw in a proper breath as the air passes too quickly for your lungs to properly catch, making you fear that you might suffocate. It feels as though your chest could combust. From the debilitated ability to properly breathe or from the confused sense of excitement, you are not entirely sure. 
Your being has been split down the middle. Caught in a strange limbo of an icy terror and a bubbling kind of joy as she continues her ascension, carrying you both high until the forests below become less defined and meld into blotches of rich greens. You cannot tell if the laugh the begs to erupt from you is one of elation or hysterics, but it froths inside of you with a warmth that rivals the heat that radiates from the brilliant sun above. Your lips part in the semblance of a breathless laugh as your eyes dart to take in your surroundings. The earth is so distant now. Reduced to a flat stretch of emerald and hunter, and the gentle rolling slops of hills and valleys that, in some points giveaway to farmlands. You can spot organized rows of green that must be rich vineyards, and there are many quaint little houses and homely settlements that sparsely dot about the scape. 
Being so high up within the heavens makes the rest of the world seem so small. Reduced down to dots and shadows and shades of color. It reminds you vaguely, of the ancient war table that sits within the council chambers of Storm's End; the stubborn, enduring anatomy of Westeros etched into the face of it, mapping out all of its splendor in its factions and landmarks. 
Out of your peripherals you notice Vhagar's wings tilt, moving to level her body out of its angled position, settling so that she is able to coast on the winds. It near instantly releases the strain on your arms, allowing the sting to ebb from your clenched muscles as you will yourself to try and relax, and the harsh cusp at which the biting wind had struck you with finally loses its violent edge. Still quite strong but no longer clawing along the shape of your cheeks and your unprotected eyes like it means to rip at them. 
It is Aemond who straightens himself first, removing his weight from your back to properly sit astride, completely comfortable in his place along his dragon and untouched by a semblance of worry. Even though you cannot see him from his place behind you, you are still able to sense the composure that he holds himself with. He is entirely within his element. At home here on dragonback. The arm that had grasped the grip on the left of you releases, moving past the line of your vision to where he probably allows it to casually hang at his side, now supporting his clasp on the saddle with only a single, sturdy hold. 
It takes you much longer to will yourself back into an upright position; finding solace in the weight of the saddle pressed to your stomach. But is a crutch that you do not wish to exhaust, and so you right yourself until you can once again feel the expanse of Aemond's chest, snug against your own in an unintentional semblance of an embrace. That stubborn little part of you loathes how the other half preens at the sensation of it. Yearning to bask in affections that are not truly there like some lovestruck girl child that elects to ignore the obvious indifferences displayed by the object of her infatuation. It irritates you to no end. Filling you with a conflict that you do not wish to bear but are unable to ignore. Aemond does not love you, that much is clear. The nature of your union, the quiet apathy that he has shown you thus far have been unobtrusive but very telling in this. Even now, as he makes an effort to test the nature of your will and your desire to truly get to know him, hauling you upon the back of his dragon, it seems to hold closer bearings to that of a trial than a well-meaning rendezvous. 
The look that he had given you when he asked if you were primed to take flight was playful, almost in a malicious manner. Like he was expecting and counting on you to decline and flee. It makes you ponder if you have actually managed to surprise the prince by accepting his proposal and clambering astride the beast's saddle. If your decision to stay and meet his little challenge head on has pleased him at all. 
"Geptot, Vhagar!" Aemond commands, shouting to be heard over the roaring winds. Obediently, the great dragon adjusts the massive span of her wings, muscles rippling to rearrange herself on the support of the currents to redirect her glide in the direction of King's Landing and the vast glittering waters of Blackwater Bay that extends beyond. It is still such a shock to see such a tremendous creature acquiesce its will to the instruction of a man. A man that may sustain the blood of the gods, but still a man, nonetheless. 
She could consume the both of you a single snap of her jagged mouth. Your bodies would be a pitiful bite for her jaws. And yet she allows you to take up space along her back. To become a vessel to suspend you along the heavens to soar between the sparse clouds that hang within the azure cradle of the heavens like tufts of a lamb's fleece. Vhagar is a violent beast you know. You have heard the stories of her wars and blood-soaked accolades, the battlefields that she has left soot covered and smoking, littered with the remains of soldiers. She is a violent creature to be sure. Honed and defined by violence, and yet it is here, carted among the tepid winds, that you decide that she is a glorious behemoth. One whose years have been stained with the life's blood of millions, but it does little to tarnish the position she has taken in your eyes. Not necessarily one held by affections, but mostly a sense of respect and awe. 
You are not diluted enough to think that Vhagar holds any sort of esteem for you. Had you not been accompanied by her rider; you would have been lit aflame from so much as approaching her, but that simple truth does little to dissuade you from attempting to show her your appreciations though uncertainty and apprehension still takes root in your gut. Your hand has a slight tremor when you manage to peel your fingers from their tight grip around the horn. A symptom of the energy and searing heat that pumps through your veins at your body's instinctual fears rather than a conscious bewilderment, but you do not let it stop you from leaning forward as much as your reservations will allow to place a soft, unsure pat along her back. Though the size of the saddle is so great that you still only manage to stroke its leathers rather than the rough expanse of her flesh.
You know that there is no possibility that she managed to feel your touch through the thick of the preserved hide of the saddle. And even if the buffer had not been there, your hand probably would have felt like little more than the landing of a fly; bothersome and barely perceivable. But it still does work for you somewhat, to help in seeing her more as more than simply a vengeful, aggressive beast. 
It shocks you, when you allow yourself to gaze downward towards the horizon to see how quickly you are approaching the edge of the city. It has you daring to tilt your head downward to see past her wings to gaze upon the sprawling cluster of the buildings and structures that create the capital; the clay tiles of the many roofs burning in shades like honey and ginger. The rich hues only amplified by the golden tint of the evening sun. Smoke pours from the some of the stacks, puffing from the hearths, the people down below working to prepare tonight's dinners. The streets thread throughout the ancient settlement like tan lines of thread, intertwining and connecting to unify the entirety of the city, bustling with people who, from your high vantage point, look hardly more than little moving dots; completely unbothered by Vhagar's flight above. 
It's breathtaking. Literally, of course, with the winds that continuously rush against you, but also in the sense of how stunning the view of it is. Had you, in some other life, been blessed with the honor of a dragon, you fear that you would never come back down to earth. As the fear in your stomach begins to thaw and ebb, giving way to nothing but a bright awe, you realize that you could spend an eternity within the sky at peace. This may be freedom incarnate. Untied from the earthly responsibilities and troubles that ail you down below. Here, it is simply the wind beneath Vhagar's vast wings. The same winds that tug at your hair as though it means to unravel it from its dressings. A laugh, a true laugh bubbles up from your chest, rising with the brilliant, beaming warmth of joy, and the smile that tugs at your lips this time is irresistible. 
You doubt that the purpose of Prince Aemond spiriting you away on this outing had any intentions of truly extending an olive branch. Not one in the expectations of actually solidifying a bond between the both of you at least. This was meant to be a game of sorts; you are still entirely convinced. But even with that in mind, you are unable to feel anything other than gratitude. For so long you have been confined to the unfamiliar walls of the Red Keep. Forcing smiles upon your face to maintain the proper ladylike appearances for your social standing. Exchanging forged laughs with the men and women of the court, batting your eyes like a dazed fool as you suffocate within the entrapments of your own longings for home. Strangely, it is here, where the harsh breezes threaten to stifle to the flow of air into your lungs that you feel at your lightest since you have been at the Red Keep. He knows naught of what he has given you, and even if he did, you surmise that he probably would not care regardless. 
Despite the possibility of Prince Aemond's reasonings, it does not stop you from turning your head, rotating your shoulders as best as you can to enable the motion as you make to look at him. It knocks you somewhat off-guard to see that he is already watching you. You had also not anticipated the proximity between your faces, with hardly more than a hair's breadth left between your noses which are so close they could touch. If you only twitch forward the press of your mouth could easily brush along the plush of his lips. The urge of it comes with the realization that the prince has never kissed you. Not even whilst you both fulfil the duties of your marriage in the midst of the night. It has all been disconnected. Done with the same automated detachment that one does with their chores. It should serve as a cold dousing of reality. It should make the rise of your emotions die down into a tame hush, but it does not. 
Your chest heaves involuntarily at the weight of his stare - of how near he is. Your thoughts are tempted to unravel. To get the better of you and indulge in the smoky, lewd corners of your mind that you have not allowed yourself to entertain, like a sinner giving into their temptations. 
The intensity that always seems to lurk within his attention is ignited ten-fold by the way that the sunlight glimmers within his eye, twinging the flecks of soft violets and rich blues with glints of golden light; it bathes his face in the same hue, making it seem as though the pale complexion of his skin has been kissed and painted by the sun itself; set alight by the dragon's blood that surges through his veins like liquid fire. The tresses of his hair billowing in streaks of a pallid silver that rivals the moons glow. 
He is beautiful. You are forced to mark it once again. How captivating the prince is. Disarmingly so, much like the stare that he continues to pin you in place with. The weight of it seems to reach into you, brushing along the boundaries of your spirit and binding it with its grasp. You are unable to discern the reasonings of his intensity, of what his thoughts might be. If they lean in your favor, or if you somehow may have unwittingly foundered into his bad graces. Just how you may have possibly stumbled is beyond you, but his tempers and his motives continue to be elusive. Still, the desire to speak honestly still hangs heavy. If anything, his attention only amplifies the need. 
"Thank you." It leaves your lips delicately. Or as softly as one can project while soaring through the skies without their voice being lost to the wind, and you can only hope that he was still able to detect the depths of your sincerity and appreciation. But you are certain that he hears you. You see the recognition of it flicker in his eye. Something else passes through it as well. It is an emotion that is beyond your scope of understanding. One that you have yet to witness upon the typically neutral or sardonic expressions he tends to display.  
His eye flickers downward. As though it is tracing the shape of your lips, attracted by the sound of your voice when you had spoken your gratitude. For a moment, you think that you must have imagined it. But the steady focus of his gaze is unignorable. He is truly trailing the contours of your mouth with his stare like he means to study them. Transfixed with a similar brand of concentration that he displays when he pours himself over his duties. But there is a fervor behind it that you have yet to personally witness; smoldering in his stare so strongly that it nearly pulls you into a trance. A molten heat flows down your spine, settling inside the pit of your gut with a warmth that startles you. The magnitude of the sensation is a shock, pulling a ragged gasp from your chest and like a puppet follows after the tug of its strings, your head snaps back to face the horizon to break whatever strange influence fallen over you both.
Your vision blindly locks on what lies ahead, desperately searching for something to distract yourself from the hazed chaos that clouds your mind. Though it is hard to focus with the near fevered way your skin has begun to warm, your chest rising and falling rapidly underneath the hold of your garments. The eye contact that you had shared was broken, but the effects of it still linger on you. It envelops you tightly, tingling over your skin, whispering along your flesh like fingertips. It has bout of nervousness fluttering inside of you like a cluster of frenzied butterflies, and it melts when it meets the foreign rush of heat that muddles you, twisting into something excited and burning. 
It has you adrift in a torrent. Completely at the mercy of your own emotions and desires - the severity of which, you had been utterly ignorant to. You scan the rippling face of the waters below, and the sight of it has your mind sluggishly realizing that Vhagar has flown you all past the boundaries of the city and the edges of the land to coast above the glittering, shifting face of Blackwater Bay. It is a sight that would have encapsulated the entirety of your observation before. You would have delighted in the way that the cerulean waters underneath the dragon's wings reflect the suns light like diamonds laid out along a rich silk, but it has become increasingly difficult to do so as you have become increasingly hyperaware of the prince. The press of him at your back, the enticing warmth of him latching onto your skin and spreading so potently that you think it may have sunk bone deep. 
Still, you hardly have the ability to prepare yourself for the sensation of Prince Aemond melding himself closely against you until the faintest stretch of space between you has been completely eliminated. His hips nudge tightly along yours, all but nestling your rear even deeper into the cradle of them in a manner that is entirely crude.
A confused question rests heavily in your mouth, but it is all but snuffed out when he tucks his head against your own, hooking his chin over your left shoulder as the hand that he had previously dropped from the horn of his saddle once again raises to take its position back above your own, as though it had never left. It makes your heart beat wildly like the wings of a startled bird, and the enlivened rhythm only quickens when his scent envelopes you with his proximity. It swaddles you in that mouthwatering combination of leather and smoke. The earthy musk and robust spice seem to find a home in your lungs. 
"Gaomas bisa drējī kostilus ao, ābrazȳrys?" 
The sudden velveteen sound of his voice over the whistle of the wind inspires your body to still. As though drawn under a trance every facet of your being seems to become inert. Quiet in its endeavor to listen to the words that spilled from him. You assume that he must be speaking to Vhagar. Entrusting another command onto her in his ancestors' tongue, but the beast makes no movements to suggest that she has heard him. The tone in which he spoke with was low, but purposeful. As though he were sharing a secret, conversational in its cadence. 
You are almost reluctant to draw the conclusion that he may be talking to you instead. For some reason, the idea of such a thing seems so ludicrous, despite having spoken to him before. In brief moments when your paths cross within the castle or when society demands it for appearances. He had exchanged words with you on the ground previously, just before Vhagar had taken flight, yet it all feels so impossible. Strange from the odd rapport that seeps into the atmosphere around you. The gusts that rush past you in dashing currents are unable to destroy the inviting aura that has dropped around you both. Yet is all still so jarring. Abrupt in a way that is strange and new. And the aspect that he is using High Valyrian has left you especially lost. Hanging onto words that you could not comprehend as though they were the answer to a salvation that you did not know you needed.  
"Naejot sagon kesīr lēda nyke?" His head tips much lower now. So dangerously close that his lips sweep along the edge of your ear when he murmurs to you. 
"I do not understand." You confess, daring to slant your face towards his. Such a minute movement but it has the point of his nose nudging at your temple, drawing him all that much closer. He hums in the back of his throat. A quiet sound as though he is considering your utterance. It is humiliating how it makes your entire being thrum with something that is suspiciously close to delight. 
"Pāsan ziry gaomas." 
Your brows pinch close in a confused furrow as he continues to use his second tongue. It is almost as though he is teasing you. Like he is prodding at a weakness that you did not realize you had; an animal nipping and digging at a wound to watch its prey jerk in its grasp. He is teasing you. The small clues there all connect and tie together a little too finely when the understanding creeps in on you. 
He knows, your consciousness decides quickly. He must have figured out the infatuation you have with his voice. The allure that it has on you when he especially uses it to articulate the rhythm of that old language. Perhaps he had seen it on your face. In your eyes, the way that your breath snags in your throat or how your muscles seen to tense with anticipation at the sound of it. It could make you embarrassed that you have been so obvious in your attraction to it. So much so that he means to taunt you for it so openly. But here and now, with his form so hot along your own and the desire that burns so steadily in your gut, you are unable to find it within yourself to be irritated or sheepish over the fact. 
"Ēza nyke pendagon " - the curve of his lip glides along your ear, and you swear that you can feel the damp warmth of his tongue trace the sensitive skin - "hen mirre se tolie ways nyke could kostilus ao." 
The shiver that skips itself down your spine is completely involuntary. You can only hope that he will assume it to be caused by the chill of the winds, but you know truly that he would be a complete simpleton to think so, and Prince Aemond is anything but. You are sure, without seeing, that his mouth has lifted into the faintest hints of smirk; the impression of it against your ear. Time stutters when his thumb sweeps down along the knuckles of your right hand. It is such a small motion. A gentle, subtle caress. One that would hardly receive one's attention but is so different from any other gesture he has displayed for you that it has something inside of you melting and turning tender. It is damning for you. 
Some kind of plea smolders on the tip of your tongue like molten honey. A plea for what is entirely beyond you. For him to relent and move away to give you air? But even simply the idea of such a thing has you mourning the loss that has not come. This entire situation is nudging at the boundaries of the dynamic you have built with the prince thus far. It is unexpected. Bizarre even. But also, entirely exhilarating in a way that fills your lungs with excitement and looms over your being with a charged type of anticipation. 
And then, just as quickly as he had invigorated the raw suspension between your bodies, he removes himself away from you to hold his posture straight and his thumb slips from your knuckles to return its grip on the saddle horn. You are suspended in air, but the loss of his warmth feels as though the support of the earth has been abruptly tugged from underneath your feet. Humiliation wells up, and anger. It seems like a jest on his part. A cruel trick for what purpose you are not certain. To stroke his own ego. To make you feel like a fool. 
It is bitter in your mouth. The tart of it induced by your bewilderment. It leaves you woefully unmoored as your body craves his even as he still remains behind you, his thighs and hips embracing your own. The whispering of the ocean-salted wind suddenly sounds like a lonely, warbling cry. But even while in the midst of your internal conflicts, the longing has yet to subside; instead pooling in your belly. A gasp pushes from your chest, and you urge yourself to look upon the waters beneath and the horizon ahead. Marking a mark of the clouds that drift about the golden support of the heavens, counting a flock of waterfowl that fly in cluster above the ocean as a means to collect yourself, though it proves to be futile. 
"Let us return home now, wife - the hour grows late." 
You make no means to return a comment or to refute. You remain silent as you both dread and crave the return back to the Red Keep. You have no desire to bear the facade that you have been masquerading in for so long, but being grounded may also help you in gathering the torrent of your emotions. Still, the flight back to Vhagar's chosen plot of earth outside the edge of the forest arrived quicker than you had anticipated, and the dismount from her saddle had nearly been just as awkward as the ascension. Neither of you had exchanged any words as you found your horses still hitched to the branches that they had been left posted at earlier, cropping at the rich grass near the base of the tree with their teeth. 
The bustling of the streets does little to assist the chaotic nature of your thoughts as you guided your mount through the crowds alongside the prince. A part of you was still briefly able to marvel how you had just seen the same avenues from above only moments before; the people who had once appeared as little specs now parted around you to make way for you and the prince. Some daring to pass the two of you fleeting glances as you went about. 
You receive similar looks once within the interior of the 'Keep. The servants and people of the court pass you curious and disapproving peeks at the muddied edges of your skirts as you carried yourself down the winding, grand hallways. Though you pay them little mind. Instead, you direct yourself to try not to focus on the dull, rhythmic tap of Prince Aemond's footsteps from their place beside you as he trails you like a stubborn shadow. He had proposed that he escort you to your quarters, as is expected of a husband. 
There is a new sort of uncertainty that has been wedged between the two of you. Though it is so very different from the quandary that had been there before. This type has no longer tinged with apprehensions or resistance, but instead it is almost alive. The want that festers inside of you is so strong that it is nearly tangible; a creature with claws that means to creep and snatch and a hunger that demands to be feed. You are not entirely lost. You are informed of the body's desires and the symptoms that often accompany it. But it is rarely something that you have ever experienced yourself apart from the few rare nights that you had built up the courage to explore yourself within the privacy of your own apartments. And never have you ever felt it so fiercely, searing and thrumming throughout your flesh. 
The buzz of your previous flight does little to damp the fervor of it. If anything, it douses a potent fuel upon the embers, daring to set the smoldering cinders aflame. The scent of him is strong at your side. Sharp from the winds and mouthwatering with the crisp, spicy aroma of his natural musk, and it is a temptation that you can only hope that you will be able to resist. Your only solace is that the entrance to your quarters draws near, only a few paces left near the end of the corridor, and you look to the massive looming doors as thirsting man would an oasis. 
"I take it that you enjoyed todays outing, my lady," Aemond says from your side. 
It draws your attention to him like an insect becoming hypnotized by the gentle flickering an unguarded fire. You dare to allow yourself to admire the almost lazy saunter he carries himself with, the composed way that he holds his hands behind the controlled posture of his back. 
"I did. Truly." You answer honestly. Not even the muddled state of your feelings and yearning could keep you from repelling the truth from him. You find yourself twisting softly on the heels of your feet as you both come to stand before the entrance of your apartments, moving to enable yourself to meet his gaze. It suddenly feels too vulnerable. You no longer have the buffer of being shielded from his stare as you stand in a pair at the end of the dimming hall. He watches you keenly. His expression is mild, and it is only his eye that displays a faint hint of curiosity, but it is enough to prompt you in continuing. "I do not wish to burden you with my toils, but finding my place here within the court has been an adjustment. The people here have been kind, yet it is still a somewhat of a challenge to find my footing. " You pause, the air snagging in your throat and you find your fingers winding together in an awkward clasp as you work to navigate yourself and bear the weight of his unflinching observation. "The flight with you and Vhagar, it was a reprieve that I did not expect to be afforded. I know that you have been occupied by the priorities of the kingdom and the burdens of the war; you have little moments available for yourself, I imagine. So I am grateful that you made an effort to extend that time to me." 
It all seems so delicate now. Something vulnerable has wormed through the cracks of your already weakened restraints. And you swear that you see something just as uncertain and raw peek through the detached facade of the prince. Such a pale passing of emotions that had you not been paying so much attention to him; it might have slipped past your observation. It looks odd, but not unbecoming on him. He is typically so relaxed and serene. Unstirred by the influences of his surroundings. It manages to endear and embolden you all at once, and as though they have a mind of their own you find your feet closing the small amount of distance that divides you. The prince's vision is latched onto you as you move near, unwavering and heavy in his watch. 
For once in your uncertain relationship with the prince, it is you who seems to hold the sense of power. As shaky and foreign as it is. But he observes you with the same speculative surprise as a predator that has been taken off guard and is deciding on if its energy should be spent on fighting or evading. You make sure to be gentle in your approach, lest you break the brittle, intimate blanket that has fallen the vacant corridor. You can nearly hear the thump of your own heartbeat inside of your chest, pulsing along the palms of your hands. 
You surprise yourself as you dare to lean forward into his space. The scent of him engulfs you, and the perfume of it is almost dizzying. Clouding over you in a rush of subtle spice, leather and wind. It guides you press your lips upon the high ridge of his cheek. The soft divot of the scar catches underneath your mouth; the gnarled slivers of its subtly raised edges. You make sure to be gentle so's not to possibly aggravate the old, damaged tissue. His skin is warm. Sultry and smooth against your lips. You raise a single hand upward to place your fingertips along the sharp sweep of his jaw as a means to ground yourself. Or perhaps it is just an excuse to touch more of him. You are not entirely certain anymore. 
You can feel his chest swell with a surprised breath, muscles pulling taut underneath the leather of his doublet. You fear that you may have overstepped, and it draws you to break the kiss from his skin, though you find it difficult to pull away. He has made no attempt to tear his face from the light hold of your fingertips. He remains fixed in place. Quiet and motionless. For one horrid moment, you fear that you might have actually been able to disgust him. That you had terribly transgressed and shattered the delicate little relationship that you have only just began to fabricate. 
But when you look to meet his gaze the stare that he is studying you with holds a sort of hunger that you have yet to ever experience, and it is so disorienting to be on the receiving end. It completely eclipses the way that he had watched you with during the flight. You are sure that this is how it feels to be stalked by something dangerous and starved. It mutates with the vulnerability that seeps into his posture, and the combination of it melts into an ardor that is stifling. 
You are not sure how to navigate it. Of what this all could mean for you. For him. It has your blood roaring through your veins. Everything falls into a hush. You are sure that the rest of the castle is still lively with the preparations for supper. Servants are no doubt preoccupied by the nature of their longwinded duties, causing the innerworkings of the Keep to astir as they all go about their own matters. But here, in this quiet corridor, it feels as though you have been tucked away into your own private bubble. Sealed away and safe within its dulcet embrace. 
You can see the want in his eye so clearly. Bright and burning in its quality, but he makes no moves to act upon it. It is so strange to see what appears to be a sort of hesitance in the prince. Someone who is usually so certain of their wants and desires and acts on them unflinchingly. Arrogantly, even. It makes him appear so much more human. For once, in the little amount of time that you have known him, he finally stands close at a base that you could compare yourself. Not a god. But simply a man. A man who experiences reservations and uncertainty just as you do. One made of bone and blood - even if that blood may run hot with dragonfire. He still just a man. One who appears as though he wishes to seek you out. To bask in the comfort of your flesh and consume you where you stand but will not allow himself to. 
You are unsure where this sense of hesitancy could stim from. You have already lain together before in the hopes of producing a child and he had not shied away in any of those occurrences; having taken you with that cold, calculating indifference each time. You have no ability to say what has inspired the felling of that austere approach, but the sudden lack of it rouses a bravery that has long evaded you. Your lips, still hovering closely above his cheek venture to press against his skin once again. Much lower than their previous position along the sharp contours of his face, but now only a few scant breaths from his own lips. 
You pause briefly to surmise his reaction. Gauging the shift in his breathing and the way that he holds himself to see if you may have misread and breached an unsaid boundary, but he makes no move to tear himself from your proximity. But that is not enough. You must hear it from him. 
"Do you wish for me to stop-" 
A surprised yelp is snuffed from your throat when the plush of his mouth claims yours in a kiss that is so passionate that it is nearly ferocious. Your teeth clack together from the rough nature of it. It makes your mind draw a complete blank. All semblance of thought mutes down into a quiet hum as every bit of your being draws down to focus on the entirety of him. So heavy in its attentions that you hardly bear notice when he crowds you against the heavy doors of your chambers. So eager that the back of your skull knocks on the thick, ornate wood. The pain that flares is stinging and sharp, but you can hardly bother to pay it any attention as he presses himself along your body like he may starve without it. 
Once it all finally catches up with you, you find your hands reaching to sweep along him explorative, greedy strokes. Your fingers claw at his doublet, slipping along the buttery leathers in a weak grip before moving to clutch at the nape of his neck to draw him closer to you. It is crazed. Animalistic. A perversion of the sort of chaste affections that a lady should share with her husband, but you can hardly be bothered to care while your body is overcome with relief. It is suddenly as though he has become the air you require to breathe, and you are under the threat of suffocating. 
His hands are just as rapacious as your own. Clutching at your hips, your waist; reaching fingers gripping onto your hair. He is like some feral animal that does not know where to bite first. Desperate for the taste of flesh and blood but unsure of where to start. 
His teeth nip at your lips; tongue swiping, and obediently your jaw softly parts to allow him to lick into your mouth. The moan that leaves you sounds shocking to your own ears but it is impossible to be ashamed when the taste of him seems to set you on fire. You are quickly to reciprocate with equal ardor, but it is clumsy and underskilled on your part. And it dawns on you that this is your first true kiss with your husband, so very far off from the demure, obligated peck that he had given to you on your wedding day. It makes you burn all the hotter. Your eagerness intensifying tenfold as you grip onto him as though he may vanish if you do not. 
An almost wounded sound leaves you when he removes his mouth from your own. Though it is promptly stamped out when he nudges your head to the side with his own to latch the wet heat of his mouth onto the tender flesh of your neck. A contented sigh leaves you and your body seems to lose all of its strength, going lax against the support of the door as your head lulls back to bear your throat to the bite of his teeth and the suction of his tongue. You feel as though you are turning to mush. Going pliant underneath his ministrations; the heat of him has melted you like wax. 
It is the low bubble of chatter that breaks you from the haze that dips over your mind like the beginning effects of alcohol. Your eyes flutter open to gaze over the prince's shoulder, though he has not even so much as slowed the searing kisses along your flesh. Whether that be because he simply does not care or because he has not noticed the sound of carried voices you are not sure, but you cannot keep yourself from trying to peer down the long stretch of the corridor to spy for the origins of the conversation. You see no one but you are certain whoever is speaking is nearby. Their voices carried and projected by the stone no doubt, but they could round the corner at any moment and catch you and the prince in a most unbecoming manner. 
You mourn the very idea of stopping him, but the requirement to keep appearances and your position of the court untainted from untoward gossip prevails. It has you slipping your fingers along the roots that grow from the nape of his neck to tug as gently as you possibly can, urging him to pry his mouth from your flesh but he remains unmoving. Almost stubborn in his exploration of tasting the salt on your skin. 
"Aemond," you call softly. "We must stop; we will be caught." 
That seems to pull him from the fervent spell that had been casted over him. He finally allows himself to be removed from the crook of your neck, righting his posture meet your line of vision with a slight pant in his breath. The passion in his stare has not wavered or diminished at all. If anything, it seems all the fiercer. 
 
"Will you invite me into your chambers?" He inquires against your lips. "Will you have me?" 
The way he stated the question was straight forward. Blunt in what it implied. Unshy in its desire. But there is an unmistakable edge to it that is almost frail. Fragile in its essence. You know now that here the both of you are at a fork in the path. One single decision that may decide the fate of what lies ahead, and the balance of your matrimony. Prince Aemond wears that facade of his. Like no matter what response leaves from you he will be unbothered, but you can see the vulnerability bleeding into his gaze. You hear it in his questions. The hope that you do not turn him away. 
You know then that you will not send him off down the corridor while you tuck yourself away in your chambers alone. Not as elation and peace wraps itself around you and urges you to tug him closer; guiding him towards you as you make to reach behind to grab for the door latch. 
"Yes, I will have you Aemond." You whisper it softly, as though it is something sacred and delicate. 
That is all it takes to earn his mouth back upon you. Just as starved as it had been before. You are not certain which one of manages to pry one of the doors ajar, but as soon as it is open, you find yourself slipping through the entry as you pull him through by his shoulders as you blindly guide each other across the floor of your apartments. You just vaguely register the sound of the door slamming shut behind you both, but you hardly pay it any mind as his hands sweep along your hips with a grip that threatens to smart skin. The heel of your foot nearly trips along the edge of the tapestry rug, and it is Aemond's firm grip that keeps you secure as you attempt to navigate your clumsy journey to the bed. 
Already his fingers slip behind you, eagerly tugging at your skirts like he means to ruck them over your hips, but then he stops himself short and backs away from you so abruptly that for a second you fear that he is having regrets. That he plans to storm out of your quarters and pretend that this has never happened. His eyes trails over you as he steps away, halting himself he is several paces from you to observe your disheveled state. 
"Undress yourself."  
He says it that poised, calm cadence of his, but the order in it is still apparent. For some reason it makes you pause. You have never been completely bare before him. All of the previous times you had been afforded the crutch of your shift, skin always concealed from view. During your bedding ceremony, while the corridor just outside of Prince Aemond's chambers were crowded with the wedding quests, the attendees of the court and the Crowns Sept, all present to make sure the tradition was followed accordingly, you had still clung to the safety that your chemise had provided you. The two of you were hurdling over so many new steps and parameters in your relationship. For some reason, it does not feel obtrusive or jarring. Simply unexpected. Unfamiliar. But exciting still. 
You reach for the silk placket on the front your bodice, carefully unplucking the golden straight pins that your maidens had secured it with just this morning, being mindful to tack them back into the fabric so they do not drop upon the floor and run the risk of jabbing someone underfoot. Your fingers quiver slightly as you begin to unwind the ribbon lacings underneath, tugging them free from their eyes to loosen the grip of your bodice until the rest of the gown slides free of its grip on your body, enabling you are able to slip the sleeves from your arms for the rest of the garment to pool around your feet. 
You still have several layers to go; held within the confines of your kirtle but he is already watching you with an impassion stare akin to starvation. All of the vigor that he had unleashed on you before in the drag on his lips and the nipping of his teeth has been detained and seized onto with a shaky resolve; his weak restraint projected through the near feral look in his eye. It is clear that he wishes to watch you unburden yourself of your clothes. It gives him some kind of pleasure, to observe you exposing more of yourself to him at his whims. And you would like to indulge that lewd desire of his, but you know that the lacings along the back of your kirtle will be difficult to undo on your own. It is rigid in its structure, and combined with how tightly the many levels silk cord that cross up your spine are cinched, it will be a challenge. Often times it is a pain for even the deft fingers of your maids. 
"Would you so kind, lord husband, to assist me?" You do not bother in awaiting his response as you rotate around to present your back to him. The room is silent, save for the quiet rise and fall of the air steadily leaving and returning to your lungs. You do not hear him diminish the space the separates you both. The sound of his boots along the stone floors does not make a single tap or echo for you to gauge his nearness. But then his hands are just on you, settling at the point between your shoulder blades to pluck at the knot of your silk ribbons.   
The warmth of him wafts against you, causing the hairs along the nape of your neck to rise and your skin to pepper with gooseflesh. You crave to lean back into him. To bask in his natural, soothing heat, but you command yourself to remain stationary as he begins to tug at your lacings. Much steadier and slower than you have suspected. It has anticipation building and churning within your gut. Smoldering and settling like hot coals and molten wax beneath your flesh. 
His lips come to sweep along the junction of your neck, feeling as though they are branding you in their exploration. It should be of a concern with how much that thought thrills you. The idea of walking around with the prince's marks clearly presented for the court to see is an indecorous idea - downright craven. And yet it does nothing but make the flames inside roar brighter. 
You feel the moment that he finished in unlacing the kirtle. It slackens considerable on your torso, before he hastily slips the embroidered edge of the neckline from your shoulders; the truth of his avidity managing to peek through such a simple action. And just like that the materials fall from your body, leaving you in nothing but your shift. It shocks you how quickly his hands find a place on your hips. Fingers clasping tightly like he is resisting the urge to tenderize your skin underneath the pressure of his palms. But that twisted little part of you is still present and greedy. It has you pressing the shape of your rear against his pelvis, and you are unable to contain the delighted gasp that leaves you at the hard press of his cock straining underneath his breeches. 
He has not even seen you naked yet and already the evidence of his arousal nudges at you through the thin fabric of your chemise. He groans as you continue to roll your hips against you his. It's a pleased, low noise, that nearly sounds like a purr rumbling from his chest, and it vibrates along your neck as he threatens to sink his teeth just underneath the edge of your jaw. His fingers begin to tug and lift at the skirt of your shift to pile it around your waist. 
You twitch as he exposes you to the tepid draft of the room; nipples hardening beneath the delicate fabric at the chill. Suddenly, one of his hands is placed before you, fingers hovering close to your mouth as though he expects something of you. Your thoughts scramble along. Already pathetically sluggish and scattered from the lust searing at your being.  
"Take them into your mouth and bite, ābrazȳrys," he guides in a firm murmur. 
Obediently, your lip's part, allowing him to guide the tips of his fingers past them. The leathers concealing the nimble length of his digits is smooth along your tongue. Warm and slightly tangy in its flavor on your palate. The weight of them makes your eyes lashes flutter, threatening to slip closed before a distant voice in the recesses of your mind chides you to follow his desire, and eager to please you gently clamp the edges of your teeth down onto the tips of his gloves. He coos in a satisfied manner when he notices the compliant press of your teeth. He tugs his hand free from the casing of its glove, allowing the now empty garments to lie limp in your mouth before he removes it from between your teeth to discard it somewhere along the floor. 
You vaguely watch his hand from your peripherals as it lifts past the scope of your vison, but the low, wet sound in your ears cues you on what he may be doing. He is licking his fingers. Getting them wet. It makes your body thrum with want. The flavor of his gloves is still strong. A temptation that you never would have imagined. He had used your mouth for something that seems so frivolous, and yet it makes you ache. It reminds you of a bit of course chatter that you had heard from one of the ladies of the court.  A horrible gossip who often whispers of the most perverse of topics between lovers. Though you could not help but to have been intrigued when she spoke of pleasing one of her paramours with nothing but her tongue. 
You know what Aemond plans to do with his hands. The anticipation of it bubbles along the atmosphere like water simmers inside a heated pot, threatening to boil over as his fingers slip between your thighs and part your damp heat with little fanfare. Your body seems to sizzle. A delicious buzz licks up your spine as he sweeps a single finger over your cunt to gather the slick that already threatens to smear down the inside of your legs. Collecting it on the pad of his digit to aid him in delivering a slow, torturous circle along your clit. A drawn-out whine rips itself from your chest, and even with his hand buried underneath the fabric of your skirt, working pleasure between your thighs, you cannot help but to think of the possibility of taking him into your own mouth. 
To delight in the weight of his cock filling it up, weighing on your tongue. How it might taste. The expressions he would make. If his eye would express the same vulnerability that he had displayed to you in the hallway, when he asked if you would have him. Would that hint of desperation no longer be masked, but instead boldly shown? Would his face pinch with pleasure, eye clouded with lust as he watched you on your knees before him?
How gorgeous he would look. 
You have to tuck your face into his shoulder as you helplessly rock your hips against the ceaseless strum of his finger, muffling your cry as he suddenly slips one within the entrance of your cunt, forcing it to stretch and give around its width. He brushes it experimentally along your walls, almost like he is prodding or searching for something within you. Distracting you with the press of the heel of his hand on the bud of your nerves, feeding the fires the pit of your belly. He does find what he is in search of with an adept quickness. You feel it as soon as he does. The blind yet tactful pursuit is rewarded when he caresses something devastating buried inside of you. You gasp, breath snagging as you burrow your nose into his neck, choking on his scent while you search for your voice.  
"Aemond, please." It comes out as hardly more than a wanton moan puffed against his skin, and your hips continue to chase after the exquisite heat that he is effortlessly stoking within the cradle of your thighs. "Please, Aemond. I want to taste you. I want you in my mouth." 
You feel the way he hums in consideration more than you hear it. A nonchalant noise, as though you have questioned him about the quality of his day. As though he was not knuckle deep inside of your cunt. "Hmm, such a temptation. Though, if I recall correctly, was it not my wife who ventured into my chambers with revelations of her loneliness? It seems that I have long ignored my husbandly duties. I think it is due time that I rectify that." 
Those words sound so promising. So sweet in its oath. So, it is entirely cruel when he all but rips his finger from the walls of your cunt, leaving you feeling empty and the scorching embers in your gut smoking but unfanned. A question, an insult, or a cry hang on your tongue, but you never get the opportunity to figure out which it is. Aemond grips you by the shoulders and nudges you in the direction of your bedding, giving you little time to orient yourself through the lustful haze that has clouded your mind over. 
"I want you lying down on your back; cunt spread." His instruction rings out sharply. Like a strategized order that would be given in council. "And remove that fucking garment from your body." 
He spat out the sentence as though the cloth is an offence to him. The sight of it alone enough to rouse his ire. So eager to see you bare before him. You have half the mind to try and tease him, but tonight you can hardly be bothered. The weight of the shift is stifling on your dampened skin, and his covetous stare urges you to do his bid. You do not turn to face him as you disrobe. It nudges from your shoulders easily. Dropping free from your body to leave you in nothing more than your silk stockings and garters, and the diamond accessories that dangle from the lobes of your ears. 
You swear that you can feel the line of his vision upon your flesh. Trailing down your spine, tracing the shape of your ribs as they meet the contour of your waist, skirting along the swell of your arse. You do not turn to face him until you place your knees on the cushion of your mattress, plush and filled with down and feathers, offering you enough support to crawl along the stretch of it before turning on your back as he had bidden. The impassioned look in his eye seems to suspend you adrift. It does not make you feel disgustingly ogled or leered at to be so blatantly admired. He studies you as though he is in the presence of something sanctified. Divine. 
You are not sure of how to compose yourself underneath such unabashed devotion. The only thing that seems to give you any sort of stability is the continued ring of his earlier command reverberating in your mind. You cling to it, like someone who is threatened to be swept away in a rough tide. It is almost absentmindedly that your leg's part, offering yourself up to the insatiable stare of your husband in a manner so vulgar. But you cannot deny that there is something titillating about it. How his posture seems to simultaneously go rigid and slack all at once. A restraint in his composure visibly snapping before he stalks across the room towards you like he means to devour you. 
He is upon you before you can hardly blink. Gripping onto the thick of your upper thigh with his gloved, left hand to further pry your legs apart. Stretching them until you can nearly feel the strain of it in the joint of your hip. "Sīr gevie se dōna raqagon bisa, issa ābrazȳrys." He lifts your opposite up just enough to nose at your knee, ghosting his lips about the breadth of it as his eye locks with your own sight. Something nearly playful dancing in the vivid shade of colors. "Gaomagon ao sylutegon sepār hae dōna?"
He continues to sweep his nose along your flesh. Dragging it downward towards your intimacy, where you burn and ache for him the most. You cannot stop yourself from rolling your hips upward, tempted by the warmth of his breath gliding along your skin and the heat of your cunt. It makes you clench around nothing, as though your body is mourning how empty you are without the stretch of his fingers. 
"Aemond, pleas-" 
He hushes you softly. A placating, quiet sound but it cuts through the air with the swift impact of a steady blade. Like an eager soldier you find yourself falling silent. Focused entirely on him as he lay between your thighs with the relaxed composure of a dragon with its prey already secure between it fangs. "Patience," he murmurs. Though he hardly gives you any time exercise such a restraint because his mouth is on you as soon as the word leaves him. The shock and feel of it sears through you, lashing itself across your body akin to charges of lightning crackling across a storm. Nothing could have prepared yourself for such a thing. The wet heat, the suction of his lips, the skilled slip of his tongue. 
Your legs twitch on reflex, threatening to close but the hand that he had clasped around your thigh keeps it secure in place. Still, it does not stop him from glancing up at you from the apex of your legs with an unvoiced reprimand glinting in his eye. A broken cry shudders from your lungs. Sharp breaths nearly hiccupping from you as he licks at your cunt, burrowing the pronounced, attractive swoop of his nose against your clit while his tongue laps at your entrance. You cannot stop yourself as you begin to sway your hips along the press of it. Practically riding his face with the mindless drive of a woman possessed. Your fingers claw along the blankets; nails tearing at the fabric like it might help you weather through the bolts of ecstasy that ravage your body.  
Your head lifts to properly gaze upon him as he continues to drag his tongue over you, groaning softly into your heat as though he were the one experiencing pleasure. You have heard of women satisfying their husbands with the comforts of their mouths but never the opposite. You know now that it is easily something that you could become addicted to. And based on the pleased pinch between his brows and the way that his eye has nearly slipped closed it seems that he has just as much of an appetite for it. 
"Oh, my gods! Aemond- fuck!" 
You can feel the amused chuckle he releases vibrate along your cunt, making the burning coil in your gut wind that much tighter. He parts his lips from you just long enough to speak, slipping a finger within the tight entrance of your heat just as he does so, crooking it against that delicious spot that he had found nestled within you earlier. "Such a filthy mouth you have on you. How unbecoming for someone who holds the title of a princess." He mocks, crudely stroking and curling his finger within the tight warmth of your cunt. You think distantly to scold him. To remind him of who has drawn such untoward responses from you in the first place but then he is guiding a second digit in along the other, making you stretch to accommodate them; causing your mind to blank. "What would they think if they could see you now? Mewling like well-paid whore."  
You are not sure why that awful little comment has warmth drizzling down your spine like drops of warmed honey. You feel yourself flutter around the ceaseless pulse of his fingers, back arching in a means to draw him deeper. He notices as well. Of course he does, ever so observant. It has him humming in that considering way of his. Like he is pleased with his discovery. You expect another witty remark from him but get none. What he chooses to say next is even more damning. 
"I'm going to fuck you with my fingers, and you are going to be a good little wife and peak on my tongue." 
His tone leaves no room for argument - not that you have given him any in this state. Especially not when the sultry drag of his mouth returns to your cunt to join the clever curl of his fingers. The combination of it threatens to make you sob. Your body writhes when he takes your clit into his mouth, sucking at it gently with steady pulses of his tongue. One of your hands blindly reaches to grip his head, threading your finger through the silken tresses of his hair as though it might ground you; keep you from floating away. It is all so overwhelming. Too much and yet too little. And like a starved glutton you find your opposite palm coming to slip along your own torso, sweeping along your feverish skin to explore your breasts. You mindlessly reach to take your nipples between your thumb and fingers, rolling and plucking at it to further stoke the fire in your belly. 
You hear the sound of Aemond's pleased groan, no doubt watching you from his place between your legs as you touch yourself. Already the rapture flooding your veins begins to rise up. Cresting upon you like a wave being tossed within a great tempest. You can practically taste it. Dancing along your tongue like something sweet and hot; burrowing into the cradle of your hips by the euphoric drag of his hand and tongue. 
"Aemond!" You sob. With the intent to warn him or to merely cry you are not sure. Your face pinches as the grip of your pleasure begins to close around you, holding you tight within its vice like it means to wring every ounce of euphoria from you. "Aemond, I'm going to- gods-" 
The glide of his mouth and fingers is almost brutal. Precise and nimble in his intent to hurdle you headfirst into the throes of bliss, and he is certainly achieving that goal. You can feel the muscles within you drawing up tight; fire lashing and curling over you and wearing at your soul. You can hardly speak. Now struggling to get out broken panting breaths and pieces of the prince's name as your release bears down on you. He shows you no mercy in your state, continuing to suckle and lap at your cunt like he means to drink you down. 
It is with a wrecked scream that you reach your peak. The cry that rips from your throat is short and hoarse, and there is no doubt that some unfortunate soul wandering the hall has heard you. Though you are too beyond yourself to care. Sparks bursts inside your flesh, dousing you in a bliss that you have naught ever brought yourself. Like a mindless animal your body continues to ride itself against the press of Aemond's tongue, his nose, his fingers, all of which still work against you to draw out the euphoria that engulfs you. 
It is not until you hiss from the sudden tenderness in your cunt that he wills himself to pull away, giving you a reprieve to lay boneless and spent along the plush of the bed. His breath is raged when he rises from your hips, face smeared with the evidence of your pleasure, his stare is wild. He looks disheveled, hair disordered from when you had gripped it and chest pulling in frantic gulps of breath. He nearly looks just as winded as you. Though you are surely partly to blame with how you had desperately pushed his face into your cunt like some sort of sex-crazed whore. And the patch of leather that conceals his eyes has become slipped from its place. Not enough to display whatever grievous, old wound may rest beneath, but another unintended brush against it may knock it askew completely. 
You do not think when you guide yourself to sit up and lift a hand, thoughtlessly using your thumb to nudge the leather back down to rest securely above his socket. But the realization seems to come to you both unanimously. His own hand coming to grip your offending wrist, keeping it suspended in its place in the air; your fingertips still resting on the structure of the patch. 
 The stare that passes between the both of you is joined by so many varying emotions. Many of them extending from his side: a brief flash of anger, bewilderment, unease. And then, there it is again. That trace of vulnerability that he tries so hard to contain. But it seems to always be there. Lurking underneath the surface like pain disturbing an old wound. And like a shadow, you see that hint of hope again too. It is the only things that keeps you from shifting from him. Of giving him space that you would have otherwise assumed he needs. But now you draw near. Resting on your knees to sit before him. Instead of attempting to withdraw your hand from his clutches, you instead reposition it to cradle the side of his face, maintaining to keep your touch light in case he chooses to remove himself from underneath your hand. 
Few breaths pass, and he makes no moves to do so. He leans closer. It is such a tiny gesture. A barely perceptible movement, but you feel it. The difference in weight against your hand. The glint in his eye pierces into you with a desperation. Like he is expecting you to suddenly come to a realization and flinch away out of fear. Like he is hoping that you do so. 
But you will do no such thing. You shift closer to him, making sure to be careful as not to accidentally prod his eye patch from its place while you clutch his cheek. He observes you closely. As though he is studying you. Searching for a shred of hesitation or disgust so that he may turn you away. The opportunity for him to do that does not come as you lift to seat yourself upon his lap. His chest expands almost shakily as he gazes at you. Eye slightly widened as though he is in a state of awe or disbelief. The sheer unabashed emotion reflecting inside that gorgeous mix of blue and violet could make your heart ache and skip. You long to tell him of how you feel. The breadth of your emotions. Not quite love yet, of course, but it must be the beginnings of it with how tender and passionate it burns, like the birth of a blaze. 
But that may be too much to confess. Perhaps, your actions will have to suffice for now. 
You are certain he gasps when your lips press against his, tongue sweeping along the plush of his mouth like he had done to your earlier, gathering the tart and sweet taste of yourself on your palate. The flavor of your own arousal does not deter you in the slightest. Not the damp of it against your skin as you draw him into a soft exchange of kisses. Much softer than the one that he had inspired in both of your earlier. This somehow seems so much more explorative. Delicate, even with the heat that begins to simmer beneath the surface once more. 
Your fingers once again slip and find purchase in his hair, nails lightly scraping at his scalp as your hips begin to undulate against the bulge that still presses against his breeches. He groans, panting into your mouth while he runs his hands along your nude flesh, reaching down to grip the swell of your arse to aid you in grinding your hips with his. The hard impression of his cock nudging at your cunt through the fabric of his trousers is delicious, even while you are still slightly tender from your previous pleasure, licking a sensitive fire along your skin. Still, it does not stop you as you continue to grind yourself on him, wanton and aching once again. Delight peeks through the drunken haze of your desires as he removes on of his hand from you to slip between your bodies, fingers reaching for the laces of his breeches where he eagerly pulls at tugs at them to draw them loose. 
He groans sharply in relief when he guides himself from the restraint of his trousers. The alleviation must be great, with how long the straining weight of his cock has been tucked behind the material. You hear it in the low hiss that rises from his chest, and it has you humming softly at him, a light reposeful sound as you continue you to exchange a languid, unbroken kiss with him. The both of you unable to tear yourselves from each other, even has the hot length of his cock comes to rest against his stomach, now pinned between the pressure of both of your bodies, burning against your ferverish skin. 
"I need to feel you," he breathes against your lips. "Let me have you." 
You peek your eyes open long enough to consider him, and the longing that burns within the depth of his stare knocks something inside of your soul off guard, shaking the very foundations. Such raw, unprotected emotion. He stares at you as if you are the creator of the heavens, having fashioned the moon and the burning of the stars with only your hands. It makes you unsure of how to stand unwavering, unaffected underneath such a devoted gaze. If only he knew that it is you who wishes to worship him. To pour your affections and adoration onto him like an acolyte offering their deity tokens and praise. 
An understanding seems to pass through the both of you, a wordless communication. He reaches down to grip himself as you post your hands upon his shoulders, your nails burrowing into the leather of the doublet that he has not bothered to shed as a means to braces yourself as you line the head of his cock with the entrance of your heat. There is little fanfare before you begin to lower yourself onto him, splitting yourself on the head of cock as you use your thighs to settle downward. You walls stretch to accommodate his girth, fluttering as he guides you open to find solace in your body. A strained set of words seems to squeeze from his chest, all of them in that beautiful language that you yet to understand. It has a sense of pride flaring. A deep, hedonistic satisfaction welling up to know that you have such a strong, composed man crumbling around the edges from nothing more than the grip of your cunt. 
You place another brief kiss upon his lips, a smile tugging at them when he nearly tries to chase after you, but you distract him by further sinking yourself down around his length until your rump meets his thighs. His mouth drops open in response, eye fluttering at sensation of your walls clenching and flexing around him as though it means to somehow draw him deeper. 
The pressure of him inside of you, carving a space for himself within you almost makes you breathless. It licks itself up your spine like a bolt of lightning, forcing your body to shudder and draw closer to his, subconsciously seeking out the warmth of his skin and mourning when you feel nothing but the dim chill of his leather doublet. 
"Aemond," you beg softly. Your hips seem to have a mind of their own as they begin to lift themself upward to roll back down, working to repeatedly spear yourself on his cock with only desperation and hedonism guiding you. His hands come to grip your waist, spreading his thighs out wider to find a better stance to drive himself up inside of you easier, aided by the slick of your arousal, causing his thrusts to become even more pronounced. The sensation of his girth stretching you out to its shape, veins dragging along your walls has your back curving taut like a bowstring. 
The warmth of his mouth suddenly closes around one of your breasts, tongue lapping at the peak of your nipple as he continues to drive himself inside of you in a devastating rhythm. It has your mind drawing a blank. Going white like a wall of fog as embers and fire sear at the pit of your gut. Your lip's part. Soft gasps panting from your throat as he continues to ravage your body for his pleasure while further tearing you through the depths of yours. It seems to choke through you, forcing you to hiccup and whimper around the insistent pounding of his hips, the weight of his cock dipping inside of you. 
It is disoriented and abrupt when he shoves you onto the flat of your back, knocking what little bit of air was still contained inside of your lungs out and leaving you stunned. You can only lay and take it as your mind scrambles to gain a sense of clarity, while pleasure scalds itself throughout your veins, snuffing your body in a cloud of smoke. His body extends over yours, only supported by his arms posted on either side of your head. His mouth leaves your breast with a subtle nip of his teeth, sparking pleasure with their blunt edges, making you arch your chest to seek out more of it. 
But he ignores the blatant offering, opting to nudge himself up to kneel to better support his weight as he grabs one of your thighs to swing your leg along the perch of his shoulder. It somehow manages to drive him deeper. Effectively punching the air from your chest, the crown of his cock brushing along something inside of you that has your body twisting along the support of the bed. A sob wracks through you and your eyes nearly roll in the back of your skull. You distantly hear yourself whispering his name. Repeating it over and over again with all of the devotion and desperation of a mantra, of a prayer meant for the ears of a god. And here above you now, he certainly looked like one. Pale eye blazing and wild with his lust, hair unkept and freeing from its tie, a sheen of sweat glittering along his pale flesh like flecks of gold and stardust. 
"There she is," he marvels in a coo; pleased and smug in the debauched thing that he has reduced you to. A complete juxtaposition to the longing, vulnerable man that he had been just moments before. "My sweet wife gone dumb and pliant beneath me. Do I satisfy you? Having you like this? Taking my cock so obediently. " You moan in agreement, hips twitching and jerking to further aid him inside of you. Even while it feels like he is deep in your gut, shoving your breath from you with his rhythm, you crave more. "I should keep you like this. Fucked and filled. Would you like that, ābrazȳrys? Stuffed full until it swells your belly with my heir?"
 
It douses you with fire. The comment engulfing you as though you have been guided into the starved clutches of an inferno. The satisfied stare that he pins you with only makes you feel bare and exposed despite the intimate positions that he has had you in already. Like he is piecing you apart and gazing at your soul. Even with the filth that he casually rambles, it does nothing to dampen the tenderness and hunger that seeps into your bones and gnaws at your being. Your body thrums with the delight at being claimed so primally by the prince - by your husband. To walk about the great halls with his babe safely tucked away inside your stomach. The idea of it has you clawing at his back, no doubt leaving marks along the leather, and it is a great regret that it is not his skin that you tear the traces of your nails along. 
"You will truly be so beautiful in such a state. There will be no mistake that you're mine. Mother to my child. My wife." 
The possessiveness that streaked through his words made you arch into him, driving the metal clasps of his doublet into your flesh, causing the skin to sting. You can hardly pay it any mind though. Not while you are hurtling towards your peak. The promise of your release rushing towards you with the intensity a liquid fire. He too is close. You can see it in the furrow between his brows, the pale stutter in his breath which begins to meld into low groans; feel it in the slight falter in his pace. 
"Please, Aemond." You moan, just barely managing to get your tongue to cooperate in forming the plea. His eye locks onto you with the concentration of a hunter, but that softness, his need is beginning to melt it around the edges once again. "I want you to let go. I want to feel you filling me up." 
His hips flounder for a good moment, and it takes him a bit of correcting to regain the fluidity of the brutal stride that he had set, though once he does it is like he had never faltered at all. The almost violent bliss smoldering along your being still engulfs you and nips at you like it means to rip you apart. He swears sharply again. The sound of your wish, both a beg and a command having the most delicious effect on him as he continues to build that euphoria within the base of your stomach, causing the muscles there to clench tight.
"I'm yours. All yours." You assure breathlessly, aiming to appease the proprietorial nature that he has shown you. That is all you can manage before the euphoria finally crests and completely blindsides you within the deluge. You feel outside of yourself as your body writhes, cunt clenching around the deep stretch of his cock as he continues to pound into you, tipping you into something akin to a drunken stupor. It is rapturous. The sheer weight of the pleasure that possesses you and leaves you little more than a vessel that can only lie and try to survive the onslaught. 
Aemond's body shudders over your own, spine curling inward to tuck his face within the crook of your neck as his own peak seizes him. His groan rattles along your throat, followed by a strained fuck as a burst of liquid heat floods inside your stomach, filling you with warmth. His hips jerk shakily, meeting the languid pace of your own as you both work to assist each other in riding out your shared highs. Though it does not take long for either of you to lose your vigor, muscles and bones going lax as you both relent to the weight of your spent bodies. He does not bother in removing himself from the grip of your cunt as he all but collapses on top of you, effectively pinning you to the mattress with his weight. 
You make no effort to move him from you - you find no desire to. The air around you is thick with the scent of sex, still thrumming and alive with the fervor of your shared lust even as it ebbs from your body, replaced with the temptation of sleep. Contentment and exultation pools in your chest, syrupy and thick from the pleasant warmth of his form along yours, and it guides you to glide your fingers through the silken strands of Aemond's hair. He has made no efforts to extract his face from your neck. Perfectly at peace to keep himself tucked against you with his flaccid cock still buried deep, as his breathing levels out into steady puffs against your skin. 
"We cannot sleep, my Prince. The servant girls will be here soon to prepare me for supper." You warn, though he does not stir in the slightest. A hum leaves him. The only confirmation you receive that tells you he has heard you. He almost seems to clutch onto you tighter, as though he longs to burrow into you and meld into one. So desperate for your touch even while he hides so many facets of himself from you. There is no way to truly foresee what the future has in store for you and him. For the welfare of the kingdom. The home of your children. There are many uncertainties. Many stimming from your Aemond himself, the many lethal edges that create his being. But that is fine. You are patient. Tonight has marked a new turning point for you and he, you are certain. You will wait no matter how long you must for him to come to you, and to reveal himself and his truths to you unabashedly. No matter how damaged and bloody and wild those parts of him may be. 
You are certain that you will marvel in the twisted beauty of it regardless. 
"I will get up shortly." He finally replies, tone gentle and rich in your ear. "Let us just lie here for a moment; just you and I." 
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Does this truly please you, wife? - Gaomas bisa drējī kostilus ao, ābrazȳrys? To be here with me? - Naejot sagon kesīr lēda nyke I believe it does - Pāsan ziry gaomas It has me wonder of all the other ways I could please you - Ēza nyke pendagon hen mirre se tolie ways nyke could kostilus ao
So beautiful and sweet like this, my wife - Sīr gevie se dōna raqagon bisa, issa ābrazȳrys Do you taste just as sweet? - Gaomagon ao sylutegon sepār hae dōna?    
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chocsra · 2 months
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✧ "MY KIND OF WOMAN"
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☆ summary ↺: finding out that your crush, chuuya nakahara's type is the complete opposite of you, his close friend.
☆ content ↺: small oneshot, fluff, highschool au, other mentions of bsd chars (+gin, tachihara, hirotsu & dazai)
☆ song ↺: my kind of woman by mac demarco <3
☆ w/c ↺: 2k
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sometimes, you felt unsure of yourself.
your parents and the people around you assured that there will be someone—no, plenty of people that would love you and your personality. you were rowdy, energetic and outspoken. very honestly yelling about cringe phrases in public. loved ones around you such as friends, would often shush you or swear you're going to be the death of them.
no—you weren't really weird, just humourous, mischevious and cheeky. yes, sometimes, it affected your love life. nonetheless, the people in your life always said there is someone out there who wants someone exactly like you. you are the ideal in someone's heart.
it made you wonder if others accepted their partner's flaws because they love them, or love your significant other for their flaws.
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"man, i don't know."
your eyes roll at the guy beside you, sweating in his basketball uniform and adjusting his sports headband as you two sat at the foot of the bleachers. "very helpful, chuuya."
he was wearing red.
his uniform was red, his hair a colour of copper—but in sunlight he could be mistaken for ginger. and he had this look in his eyes, a look you can't but admire. it was full of passion, but he always suppressed his emotions. chuuya never expressed his emotions well.
and that's how chuuya nakahara was, a complete idiot. you were talked your ear off back then by him geeking out over a girl he likes but can't seem to express it well. though you get teased by him for keeping your head deep in the books when it comes to romance, you found yourself comforting him at 3am when he can't get his mind off another girl, who probably broke his heart.
that was the past when you were both new to highschool, of course he wanted a girlfriend. which was especially difficult since he was best friends with the basketcase of the school—dazai osamu. well, even he had girls liking him, which was surprising since he's not exactly friends with this thing called deodorant.
"well, why would you see flaws in somebody you love and think it's something to be changed?" the boy inquires, chugging his waterbottle. "when you don't love them, flaws shouldn't matter, and when you do love them, their flaws should be part of the reason you do."
cute, you thought.
"that's how it should be!" — you pause, waving your hands all over the place trying to express yourself, "but not everyone thinks like that, y'know?"
he chuckles, "well, unlucky for you, some people's flaws can be unbearable." you shoot a glare at your friend, "the hell is 'unlucky for you' supposed to mean?"
chuuya snickers, "nothing." he looks up at the gym's ceiling, eyebrows scrunching when he sees the numerous dodgeballs stuck up there. how did that get up there? he thinks for a second. you wrinkle your nose in distaste, "—asshole." he quickly averts his gaze from the ceiling, to your scrunched up face.
"hey!"
after settling down from trying to flick each other's foreheads for an extended period of time, you squish your cheek onto your palm. "since we were on the topic of relationships, what is your type in a girl?" you ask casually, the usual hustle and bustle of basketball boys and their friends watching screaming in the gym. "my type in a girl?.."
he thinks for a second, finger tapping on his chin.
"i like elegant girls, girls who are super classy." he smirks, closing his eyes with confidence in his answer.
your eyes widen a bit,
—you were nothing like any of those things.
"well, my type is tall guys." you quickly retort, the redhead almost pouts, before refraining it to a scoff.
"chuuya, we need you on the court, man!" a firm call back runs from one of his teammates, "oh shit," the redhead quickly gets up, setting his waterbottle.
"see ya later, idiot." his lips curve up in a slight smile, ruffling your hair gently before returning to court.
this day sucked already.
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"i've been good today.. i burnt 15 ants instead of the usual 30."
chuuya felt is eye twitch, standing near the incinerator with his childhood friend, dazai osamu. "i really fuckin' wish we weren't neighbours."
he remembers back then when his mother would tell the boy to play with his neighbour, dazai. unfortunately, he managed to stick with him forever and ever.
the brunette ruffles his wavy brown hair, crouching down to fiddle with a few new ants. "so what's new, midget?" chuuya almost swears he throws his lit lighter onto the kid right there, before scoffing, "don't call me that, bastard." the bandaged student looks at him blankly, as if he knew the redhead was bothered.
chuuya sighs, "okay, well, [y/n]'s been kinda off lately, and she won't tell me why."
dazai sighs, letting go of the ant he's been holding. "what did you do this time? if a woman is acting off, it's 100% your fault." the ginger scoffs in response, "well, our last conversation was at the bleachers. she asked me what my type was and i responded with elegant and classy girls, and she hasn't been the same since. she even said after her type was tall guys!"
the brunette smirks again, snickering devilshly for a good hot minute. "what the hell? cut it out, man. you're scarin' me!" chuuya protests, before dazai asks him:"you told [y/n] that you like elegant girls, and you have a crush on her?"
the redhead pauses and thinks about that statement for a while, "yeah, what's wrong with that?" he tilts his head in confusion. "you're so inconsiderate, chuuya." dazai hums, "[y/n]'s the polar opposite of elegant and classy."
it suddenly hits chuuya like a brick — but he still rummages to work against that statement.
"dude, you're wrong! she's got a super classy smile, and really elegant hands. even the way she moves is elegant. and—" dazai shoves a bandaged hand in his face, "please, i don't wanna hear it."
"if you want her to actually like you back, tell her that she's your type, and whatever you just said right now." dazai gets up, patting the dirt off his ass. "or, be like me, and invite her to a double suicide date."
chuuya closes his eyes in disdain, "kill yourself." the teenager smirks, "you don't have to tell me twice, slug."
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"you don't understaaannndddd!!" you whine, playing the flute despondently at band practice. the girl beside you purses her lips, before writing in her pocket notebook — it's just his type. and i think you're elegant in your own way.
you pout at reading that, before sluggishly getting up. "thanks, gin..." you thank, before another redhead flashily enters band practice. "sorry for being late, mr. hirotsu, somethin' came up." your band teacher nods, before tachihara, an outspoken second year, strides up to you and gin.
"what's up with her?" the boy asks, before sitting down and fiddling with his trumphet. gin writes down — [y/n] found out chuuya's type was the complete opposite of her. tachihara looks for a moment, before laughing: "pfft.."
gin, a super pretty but androgynous second year then tells him to shut up by smacking his shoulder, earning a yelp from tachihara. "eek! well, listen, that guy is total shit anyway.. besides his super cool motorcycle, and killer smile, and his super cool motorcycle.. damn, wish i could get somethin' like that."
"shut up, tachihara." you mumble, as he scoffs dramatically, adjusting the bandage on his nose. "shouldn't you just continue talking to him? him having a type doesn't mean he doesn't like you." the redhead reasons, before reading the sheet music. "yeah but, now i think of all the girls he used to like.. and i'm nothing like them." you frown, slumping again onto the desk.
"y'know what they say.. the past is past, like how i thought gin was a boy." tachihara shrugs, frowning when he sees the middle finger she shoots at him, "i'm telling your brother you did that to me." he quips, before gin clears her throat, her silky raven hair tied back in a ponytail. "he'll beat your sorry ass." she says in the girliest voice possible.
tachihara yelps before your band teacher, mr. hirotsu reprimands you three for slacking off, frowning as you guys apologize, tachihara whispers: "point is, just talk to him." the boy says, as gin nods. "—unless you told him that you liked tall guys after, that would send him into cardiac arrest." he concluded, you gulped in slight guilt.
gin whispered in a gentle tone, "did you actually?.." you don't respond and frown even more.
"damn, you suck." tachihara finishes, yelping as the teacher yells at him again. "sorry, sir!"
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it was another day, well, end of the day.
most students already went home, but you decided to stay at school to study for a bit. unbeknownst to your knowledge, it was raining heavily, and luckily for you, you had no umbrella. you sigh, jamming your earbuds in before walking out of the roof you covered yourself in.
except, upon your first step outside, you still felt no rain.
then, you saw chuuya's umbrella covering you. "hm?" you turn to him, surprised. "hey, you shouldn't get sick before my game, idiot." he chuckles as you two walked in the rain, under the same umbrella. "no way!" you smile.
an awkward silence came over you two. "uhm, about the other day," the boy starts off as you immediately flush — of course he noticed that you were upset. "hey! it's nothing serious, i—" chuuya shushes you by successfully flicking your head. you yelp, "ow.." rubbing your forehead. the boy swallows thickly, "i wanted to correct myself, actually."
raindrops. they moved at a steady pace, falling onto his black umbrella above you two, onto the pavement, and onto the cars passing by. you looked over at chuuya, who never followed dress-code, who had his button-up and tie neatly ironed. he strangely followed the dress-code perfectly today. "elegant and classy's not my type, actually."
you pause, thinking for a second. "then what is?"
"good question, actually." chuuya quips, adjusting his tie. he was completely confident when speaking, but you couldn't help but stare at the nervous quivering of his slender hands. "y'know that question you asked about flaws? it made me think that somewhere out there, every person is who someone has been exactly looking for. everyone in the world is someone's ideal type." he explained, inhaling sharply.
"—and i, uh," chuuya's words strained his throat, his cheeks are blazing and he has an odd coordination when walking. "you're my— ugh,"
cute, you thought, before internally slapping yourself.
"you're my kind of, mm, seriously?" the redhead stutters, rubbing two fingers against his temple, exhaling sharply. "you're my kind of girl, and—"
you felt a raindrop hit your cheek, it was cold and quick. but this feeling, it was slow and cherishing. warm, like a sunny day in a field of flowers, or another resting day of keeping your head in the books. after moping around for days, maybe tachihara was right. the whole ordeal was stupid, just like chuuya.
"—i like you too." you cut him off.
chuuya almost drops his umbrella in shock, as an abundance of rain water splashes onto you two. "shit!" he curses, feeling shitty for ruining the moment, but you laugh, extending out your hand to his, smiling brightly.
his lips curve into a smile, "okay, maybe this isn't that bad." chuuya quips, intertwining your fingers into his, before pressing a gentle kiss to the spot on your forehead he flicked earlier.
today, it felt like running through a field of flowers on a sunny day, even though it was raining and you got sick the next day. but it only felt that way because you had him next to you the entire time.
—in truth, he was your type too, and no, tall men were never your type.
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✧ chocsra™
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sunnysanae · 2 years
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their favourite kind of affection
scenario. the genshin boys and their favourite type of pda. includes. zhongli, ayato, cyno, tighnari, scaramouche, childe, thoma settings. fluff, modern!au, gn! reader
zhongli waist cupping
the ex-archon found peace of mind in wrapping his large, gloved hands around your hip. his slim fingers liberally draping off your hip bone, occasionally stressing to cusp the tender skin of your abdomen. you often wandered off in public, ending up lost and teary-eyed, his hand was there to prevent that. zhongli wanted to guide you to the places he's always promised he'll take you to, while showing everyone you were his.
ayato arm in arm
ayato enjoyed taking you on short promenades, to festive gatherings, and on cute picnic dates. having you interlink your arms with his elbows, feeling you lean on his bicep, embracing him; as the two of you paddle elbowing each other to your desired destination. the exchange of smiles and blossomed laughter enveloping the centimetres of distance between you. having you close in proximity assured his heart, knowing you'll be by his side, arm-in-arm, no matter what.
cyno neck nestling
burying himself in the warm cove of your neck, nuzzling his nose on the delicate, sensitive flesh of your nape. as his ears drooped down, their ends tickling your shoulders. humming casually, as his canine teeth occasionally grazed your collarbone. the adorable gesture emerged on lazy sunday mornings, as you leaned into the work on your desk, and as you stood over the stovetop cooking your favourite foods. cyno found safety and comfort in the home you shared, more so in you.
tighnari kisses
he was never planning on admitting to this. tighnari basked in the feathery, delicate kisses you peppered on his nose. plump, soft lips pressing gently-firm on his flaming skin. the sensation torched him. the careful fragility of your affectionate initiative was fully appreciated by the boy, as he negligently leaned into your caress. tingling and numbing to his nerves. work could wait just a little longer.
scaramouche handholding
on movie nights the two of you laid overlapping each other on the cosy couch, on chilly days as you sat together watching the first snowflakes swindle—cold fragile fingers tangled upon each other, while warmth spread from your palms to his. the pads of your digits tenderly rubbing against each other's knuckles and joints. kunikuzushi would obscure his hazy blush with his scarf, or plummet his heated face into the plush pillows. your loving touch was all he ever wanted and all he ever needed.
childe resting on your lap
sitting on the birchwood park bench, as he whimpered about being exhausted from the countable steps you took. unwillingly compromising to his coquettish behaviour, as he dragged you to the free seat on the grass. minutes passed, as he would adjust his body to rest his head in your lap. childe's eyes latched with an obliviously complacent smile. he just wanted to feel your fingers brush through his hair one more time.
thoma hugs
as you sat on his lap while he knitted, he loved being enveloped by your scent and touch. his arms riddling through yours, pressing his chin into your nuchal region. you didn't want to leave him alone during his late housekeeping hours, which explains how you ended up in this position, in front of the charring fireplace. thoma murmured in your ear sweet, calming stories, and he felt you drift off into dreamland on his shoulder. as your breathing became melodically steady, climbing and rolling down gentle hills of sleep, he wrapped you in a secure cuddle. his lips sweeping your ears.
an. hmm thinking maybe i'll write a version of this for my genshin girls as well 🤐. also, can any of you imagine kissing tighnari's ears???!?KLDSM<A. i am having a sweet tooth for fluff, apologies if it has overwhelmed anyone.
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tarjapearce · 1 year
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As My Own
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Miguel O'Hara x Daughter'sRoomate!femreader .
Don't think I have forgotten about the requests 👀.
WARNING: Fluff. A tiny squeeze of angst, Rotting tooth fluff, daily snippets of life, anxious dad.
Summary: Gabi wants a mom. And who is Miguel to deny such wish?
Requested Here. Hope you like ❤️ Feedback is highly appreciated.
Sighing for the third time in a row, Miguel looked fondly at the pictures of his daughter through the years, until she grew out to be a lovely young lady, whose talents in soccer had earned her a scholarship in college.
Despite being terrified of the idea of Gabriela spreading her wings and soar into life itself, he knew the moment would come sooner or later, more like, right now. He was unpacking some boxes into the apartment Gabi would be staying, and if he was honest, the idea of her sharing a room with someone else didn't appeal that much on his trust issues.
If it wasn't for the house renovations needed to be done ASAP, he'd make sure to get Gabi a place for her own.
------
Emancipation had taken a toll on him and his mind, The once girly and colorful room filled with drawings, trophies and medals with a soccer player motifs, soccer star posters, some consoles and games, was now an empty space full of memories.
When Gabi gave him the news of her moving out completely, made his heart to shrink and break, but he knew that he had to let her go. Gabriela was 19 at the time, doing good at college, had found herself a half time job and a new roommate. The last one seemed the most preoccupying thing on the list. Was it a man? Did she eat well? Did she get along with them? Probably had gotten her a couple of fights, were they older? Was his Solecito safe?
It had been three years since she left home and pursue her superior studies and a professional soccer player career.
His mind was racing with the infinite questions and his stress gnawed at his chest, his phone buzzing interrupted his accelerating thoughts. He opened the message log and sighed in relief to see Gabriela's name on the screen.
He tapped at the message and his heart nearly melted at seeing Gabi with a goofy expression on her face, her hands making a V sign as she hovered over a small table set for two.
"Dinner time with Roomie~"
The caption read. The food looked delicious and esthetically pleasing at the eye. Nearly Michelin star awarded restaurant quality.
(Name) 's food is amazing! . Btw Im free next week, so come over, I miss you Papa.
Gabi had texted him some couple of hours later. (Name) ; at least he now knew that Gabi shared space with a woman. He didn't trust college guys at all. At least, he could sleep a bit better now. However, something had caught his attention, despite Gabi's competitive traits, she rarely loosened herself around others. And the picture only proved him right.
Gabi was unabashedly goofy and silly on the picture, with a genuine smile on her face. Whoever you were, he was grateful for making his most precious treasure comfortable and safe.
-----
The first time you met Gabi was quite the experience, you had just returned from work to find a lot of boxes loitering the entrance and part of the living room. Books, some baskets with soccer balls and equipment, Somw clothes and more books.
The burning smell immediately alerted you as smoke begun filling in the room. Rushing you opened the window and started to dissipate the smoke away with a towel.
"Oh my god! I'm so sorry!" The young and tall woman panicked as she came out of the bathroom, body wrapped in a towel, just like her hair. Skin still sudsy with soap.
The chaos was tamed, leaving one of your favorite collectible pots, charred and useless.
"I'm really really sorry! I'll get you a new one."
"Don't you worry. Just... be careful. Don't leave the stove on when you are away. You could've burn the place down"
Gabi nodded sheepishly and looked down, when she noticed your chef uniform, the logo of a prestigious place she could only dream to afford in a couple of months and a place where he wanted to take her Papa as a surprise, standing out in your chest.
"Im (Name), the other tenant. Nice to meet you." Your voice was firm, yet kind. The kind of kindness that could insult anyone and still sound charming.
"Gabriela O'Hara. Sorry for your pot. I'll get you a new one"
"Ah stop it. It was just a family relic passed on generation to generation that now will end up in the trash."
You couldn't help but laugh at her panicking and guilty reaction.
"I'm just messing with you, sweetie. I got Ceci on a promo back at the supermarket. Don't worry. It's just a pot. We throw at least one daily at the restaurant. What were you trying to make anyways?"
Gabi didn't know if to be shocked or be laughing at your attitude. She settled for confused.
"Cause it smelled like cheap Mac and Cheese"
Her cheeks flushed and you just chuckled knowingly.
"Freshman?" Gabi nodded and you smiled almost endearingly at her.
"Such a cutie! I remember my first semester at college. Such a mess, terrible food and a terrible roommate"
"You're graduated?"
"A long time ago, yeah, Culinary school is something else. Don't get in there if you like having perfect skin."You chuckled and rolled up your sleeve, showing a few shares of scars and burn marks.
"Anyways, let's have a couple of rules okay? If you follow them, who knows? it can take us places." You grinned.
"No boys after 10 pm on weekends, and if you do, keep it low. Thin walls. Same applies to me, but don't worry about it. Im way too tired to actually do something about bringing my libido back."
Jeesh
Gabi's cheek flushed as her stomach fluttered anxiously.
"You can use my tools for cooking with the only condition to leave them clean and back at their place. Got it?"
She nodded at every reasonable rule you gave her. You had warned her that sometimes you'd be out of town due work, and that left her on charge of the place. It was brought to her attention that despite the place being small, it was conditioned enough to make it almost fancy looking. The kitchen specially.
Of course things just grew from there. At first Gabi was shocked to find you were a couple of years younger than her Papa. And that you had been single for quite a time now. Couple of years to be exact.
But that mattered little as her growing fondness for you was borderline adorable. You had helped her through some really bad times, like getting her a part time job at your workplace after being fired from the college coffee shop, something she never had the guts to tell Miguel.
Then you of course helping her out in her cooking skills, to at least stop eating plain ramen and packaged food bags.
"You're an athlete, you must feed like one."
"But I can't... afford it-"
"Uh uh. Shh." You shook your head and taught her to buy the right sort of meals even under a tight budget. Sometimes she would even find meals prepped for her whenever she had run short on money.
You were there when she got her first college date, and also were there when the young man turned out to be a fuckboy and a prick. Wiping her tears and feeding her a freshly made creme brule. A favorite of hers. You had also Dropped her and picked her up in her soccer practices whenever time allowed you so. She seeked guidance in you
She was there for you when depression was making it's way into your head, she was also there when she helped you to recover from a hang over after another failed date, and nursed you through your terrible period cramps. Even though sometimes harmony seemed disrupted by external causes, such as stress, work and feeling particularly wistful and blue, you'd always find comfort in eachother.
You were amazed by the fact that you realized that she was like the little girl you always dreamed to have.
"How come you don't have children?" Gabi had asked carefully. Despite the trust you hsd built over the years, there was some things you still couldn't bring yourself to discuss so openly, until now.
"I..."
"Sorry if I'm overstepping"
"Nah. I think it's time I actually come clean about some stuffs."
"Are you sure?" You nodded and sighed
"I can't have them"
Surprise drawed into Gabi's eyes as she stared at you.
"Infertility?"
"Yup. But... It's fine. I've come to terms with it, so..."
You trailed and she swallowed as her hand was placed above yours.
"For all it's worth? I'm sure you could have been an amazing mother."
Could have been
" To me, you... you are."
Gabi mumbled as tears swelled up in her eyes, threatening to fall. You stared at her, heart leaping in your chest
"Like... You are like the mother I never had... My Papa is amazing, but sometimes I actually yearn for a different kind of love." She hiccuped and you frowned, holding her closer.
"Like a mom. I want... I want to go shopping and talking about boys and how stupid they are. I want... to be cheered on by someone else at my games and not only my Papa."
Your heart felt breaking bit by bit as Gabi broke before you
"Don't get me wrong, I love Papa to death but... It's hard, y'know?"
"Ah, cariño." An endearment term you had learn from her, "You are such an amazing kid. Im sure that whoever comes into your life to take that spot needs to be amazing, because you're such a special young woman. Look at you, bright future ahead, smart, so so pretty and brave"
But Gabriela didn't want a stranger as her mother figure. She wanted you.
Gabi hid her face on your chest as you held her close, consoling her as much as you could. She remained there until she looked up at you with a suspicious glare
"Maybe I can introduce you to my dad" Your cheeks flushed bright red and she gasped, a bright bulb of an idea popping in her mind, sadness remnants vanishing from her body almost instantly
"No, Gabi, cariño-"
"You can meet him this weekend!"
"That's too soon, I am not prepared! Plus I have work remember?"
"He's staying all weekend, don't worry."
You had seen her adoring Papa through pictures she had showed you. The man was attractive, and looked certainly way too out of your league but of course you never told Gabi about it. You just shrugged it off with a 'Oh, cute'. But now that her plan was on set, you couldn't say no to her.
"Besides, I think it's time for you to actually meet guys. And this time no excuses like Im busy or stuff like that."
"Okay, okay. But if things don't work out-"
"I know, I'll drop it." Gabi rolled her eyes.
-----
Even though the recipe for a certain disaster was cooking, you tried to be optimistic about it. A bit of positive thinking wouldn't hurt you from time to time. However, your shift turned out a bit trickier than usual, since the restaurant had been reserved for a main event for important people.
In the little chance you had, you sent Gabi a little video of how crowded it was, and apologizing cause you didn't know if you were making a double shift and wouldn't be able to meet Papa.
Gabi just sent you a picture of the both with a "Miss you! Dad just came"
------
3 am. 3 am and you were finally done, no more stuck up clients pretending to love raw fish and meats, people that were just actually there for the food pictures and to be able to brag about they were there. Your feet ached, and so was your headache. The good thing was that the company allowed you to take some food home.
Keys tinkered as you grabbed them to finally turn them in the keyhole and entering home and closed the door, angry and heavy steps alerted you as the hulking figure of a man stood in the dark, as the dim lit red iris flashed at you. You had to crane your head up to meet his deep eyes.
Now you wondered where Gabi had came out so tall.
"H-Hello..." You gulped and he sighed, hard expression melting slowly.
"Sorry for... the late hour."
"No, no. Discúlpeme I mean, forgive me. Though someone had broke in, until I heard the keys a bit too late. I'm Miguel. O'Hara." He offered you his large hand that easily engulfed yours.
"Oh, so you're... Papa" you shook it gently. He was warm, and chuckled. "Im (Name). Gabi never stops talking about you." You gave him an amiable smile and put your containers on the dining table.
"Nice to meet you" you began unpacking, aligning the recipients carefully on the table.
"How's... Gabriela doing?" His deep voice snapped your focus for a moment and your eyes darted to his form. Sweatpants in grey, a white fitting shirt that snugged his form a bit too nicely for a short stare. Hair slicked back, pouty lips, thick brows and his deep... red eyes? He certainly was even more handsome in the flesh than in the pictures.
"Oh, she's amazing. Her practice in soccer has improved even more. She has a final next week."
His brow arched at how much information you knew about her.
"I apologize, she fell asleep in your room, despite me telling her that the couch would be-"
"Ah don't worry about it. My bed is big enough for two, and she isn't a kicker in her sleep. So make sure to rest properly. Oh! And welcome for the weekend. Would you like something to eat?"
Miguel shook his head and softly smiled at you. You were pretty. So so pretty that his mind was almost in shortcut when you were removing your chef robe, in the kitchen exposing a bit more of skin. Your left arm was adorned with little burn marks and cuts, you poured yourself a glass of wine when you felt his eyes on you.
"Want some?" You offered the wine and he nodded, a bit reluctant at first.
"Has Gabi acted out of place while I'm gone?" You giggled as you poured him some wine.
"If by out of place means sleeping one hour later than she is used to, yeah. She has." Your hands gave him the cup and he leaned on the table. Gabi groggily came out your room, lured away by the delicious smell of food.
"Hey" She mumbled and hugged Miguel and then hugged you, and remained with her arms around your waist. You kissed her forehead and she smiled.
Miguel entered in spectator mode.
"Hey, cupcake. Want some food?"
"Can I have it tomorrow?"
"Got you a Creme Brule." She grunted happily.
Gabi smiled and went through the bags, popping a chocolate coated strawberry on her mouth.
"Still, I'm too tired to actually eat. Got Papa and I some takeout."
"Takeout?! The good sort of thing I hope" Gabriela groaned as she made her way back to your room.
"Don't steal the fluffy sheets!"
"Yes, mom. Take a bath first, you smell like garlic." she mumbled and went to bed.
Your whole face was as red as a strawberry not because your smell, but for how she had called you, you gulped down the wine and sighed. Miguel stared at you and his chest couldn't help but constrict a little more.
" I apologize for that, Gabriela is..."
"Quite receptive to smells? Yeah."
"And she called you mom." He was more surprised about it than anything else.
"Ah hehe. Yeah, she had been calling me accidentally that a bit more often."
"Does it makes you feel uncomfortable?" He sipped his wine
"Not really. I find it cute. She eh... talked to me about growing up and how things had been for her."
"I must thank you. You have fed her, taken care of her and now even protect her."
"She's a great kid." You nodded proudly. "Couldn't find a better roomie, and a friend. You did a good job raising her, Papa."
Miguel cleared his throat and gave you a small smile.
"I hope she hasn't-"
"Relax, she's been nothing but a good kid all these years. You gotta trust her a bit more."
"It's the people around her that I don't trust"
"Ouch..."
"I mean, not that I dont... just... carajo." you giggled at his cursing as his brows knitted together
"I mean, my daughter trusts you enough to sleep in your bed, call you mom even, so... would be kinda dumb to say that you're a bad person... And I'm not making any sense right?"
You gave him a bashful smile and it was your turn to clear your throat.
"She's been busy at playing cupid. She thinks she is subtle..." You bit your lip and poured yourself a bit more of wine as Miguel rubbed his face, tiredly.
"What about, today at 7 pm?"
"At 7pm what?" He coked an eyebrow to you and Gabriela poked her head out of your room, sighing with exasperation.
"Por Dios pa, Te está invitando a salir!" (My god, Papa, she's asking you out.)
You just laughed and put the food in the fridge
"If you're up for it, that is. It's fine if you don't-"
"Make it at 8. Traffic has lowered by that hour."
"Alright." You smiled and took your chef coat with you.
"Sleep well, Papa."
He downed the remnants of his wine and smiled to himself. He had a date.
------—----
And a second, and a third and a fourth and a fifth. You were such an enjoyable being to hang around. You shared little silly texts, learnt a bit more spanish thanks to him to slowly bring down your language barrier. Even though you understood some words here and there, you wanted to understand so you could also feel part of the secret and long conversations the two O'Haras shared when it came to you.
Miguel was the first in making a move and kissed you around the fourth date. Nervous as you were, you finally felt good enough to just allow yourself to indulge in his company and what he had to offer. Great company, laughs, delicious make out sessions you didn't thought possible at your age.
Gabi had found you both eating each other's mouth in the livingroom
"Get a room!" She'd yell as she locked herself, headphones up her ears, but a beam in her face. Her chest swelled in joy knowing her cupid stunt had paid off.
--------
"You sure about that?"
"Yeah, pa. Like... She's the best. She's so sweet and... makes me happy cause you are happy."
"You'd be the only child, you're aware of that right?"
Gabi nodded upon remembering your words and your condition.
"Having a little sibling at this point would be awkward anyways."
"That doesn't mean I can't try-"
"Oh my god stop..." Gabi shook her head and Miguel smirked
"Payback for not telling me you were fired." She grunted as Miguel held her tightly.
"I think it's time to try something new."
"You'll ask her to marry you?!" Gabi gasped excited with a beam on her face
"Relax, Solecito. We're still knowing each other. And we wanna make sure that things work out before thinking in something so important as that."
"If you let her go, I promise that I won't talk to you again."
"Ouch."
--------
Bit by bit you had small milestones in your relationship with Miguel, you visiting his home back at New York, you staying a weekend in said home, you being introduced to his friends, sharing carneada with his friends, and of course, being found by Gabriela about to have sex, none of you mentioned it during dinner.
To make things even more convenient and better, your restaurant had opened a second branch in New York. Gabi was about to graduate college and of course, you both were saddened that soon you'll part ways. The both were too enraptured enjoying your mother-daughter relationship you had created that forgot about the future.
It didn't help to her sadness when you told her about you and other crew members of your work were selected for a three months workshop in France.
Despite your own sadness, both O'Haras cheered you to go.
"Three months is gonna be torture without you, but time goes so fast. You'll be back sooner than we expect it." Gabi had spoken. And of course, after her graduation, and a kiss goodbye, you flew to France.
Communication wasn't an issue since you talked every day. And still, the gnawing feeling of not being with them made you wish time to fly. You spoke every night with Miguel, telling him how much you have missed him. Even though work had kept you both busy enough, you'd always find a way to talk or text.
And when you came back? It felt like floating in a dream.
"Mom!" Gabriela rushed to you and crushed you in her arms, sniffling and holding you tightly.
"I missed you soo much, cariño." You kissed her forehead, Miguel joined a bit later with a rose bouquet on hand. He pulled you in for a deep kiss.
"Missed you, preciosa".
What sealed the deal for him was seeing you sharing a moment with Gabi. You were brushing her hair as you caught up eith the things you learned in France and how excited you were for them both to taste them.
He asked you to move in with them. And god he loved the feeling of you being around. Gabi was happy, he was happy and you were as well.
Everything about you had captured his heart. Your personality, your way to carry on things, the subtle ways you guided Gabriela without imposing in her autonomy, How much love you seemed to have for them, the delicious feeling of your skin against his on bed.
He proposed a year after. He wouldn't let you go, no no. You were too perfect for him, and a perfect Mom for Gabriela.
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dawnbreakersgaze · 5 months
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Excuse me but the idea of MC and Xav sitting on their respective balconies and texting each other The Tea while people watching in their neighborhood is both so silly and so endearing to me.
So let's go on a small adventure, shall we?
Warnings: None.
Just fluff. Pure, unadulterated fluff.
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The late morning sun was already warming you through the windows of your tiny apartment before you'd even stepped foot outside. It was finally mid-spring in Linkon, which meant you could enjoy your late breakfast on the patio without having to worry about a stray chill or errant frost dampening your weekly Saturday 'brunch' plans.
Opening the patio door with your granola bar in one hand and phone in the other, you settle into the cushioned bench that overlooked your apartment courtyard and took a deep breath. Sometimes it felt like winter was neverending in Linkon, but you could finally feel the tension of the gripping cold that had settled in your bones start to slowly bleed from you.
After getting comfortable, you finally pulled out your phone, and quickly found your brunch 'date's' contact info, sending him the customary "Get up it's people watching hour" text.
[Hey Xav, you up? I'm already on my balcony?]
It doesn't take long for his reply. This has been your weekly tradition for a few months now. Ever since you had both just so happened to see that kid getting dragged down the street by the monstrous hound, it had become something of a... habit for the two of you to text each other the funny happenings on your street when you were home. Not that either of you were particularly prone to gossip, but the simple domesticity of it was oddly comforting after a long week of getting slogged on by wanderers.
[Yeah I'm up. Give me a sec]
The soft ping of your notification broke the peace, followed shortly by the shuffling of his patio door sliding open from above you. Sure, you could simply call out and greet him, as the acoustics out here are great and the soundproofing is atrocious, but the silence is cozy, and the atmosphere almost feels magical. This is your ritual, after all.
It's a bit like a storybook scene, you think, the two of you sharing a moment in time together yet still separated by some outside force. Maybe it was silly, but the fabricated longing almost made it feel romantic in a way that you're sure your neighbor would find ridiculous.
When you hear his footsteps above you come to a halt, you immediately notice something in particular is missing, however.
[You forgot your coffee Xav. Are you gonna be able to stay awake?]
[How could U tell?]
[I didn't smell any burning 🤭🔥]
He doesn't reply, but you can hear the huff he makes over the railing as his footsteps retreat, fading behind the sliding door once again. You don't even try to hold back the laughter his reaction elicits from you, hopeful the concrete carries it to him easily.
When he finally does reemerge, faint smell of bitter charred beans on the wind, his phone is already buzzing with the morning's newest additions to your people watching portfolios.
An older man you'd long ago dubbed "Green Thumb" who liked to frequent the flower garden outside your apartment complex was already taking photos of the new stargazer lily blossoms that had just opened this morning. So enamored by the vibrant petals, he didn't even seem to notice the couple he'd backed into who'd happened to spill their groceries all over the sidewalk. You heard Xavier call "Watch out!" From above you when he'd recognized the impending impact, but at your distance, it was no use.
[That was nice of you Xav. Too bad it didn't help 🫠]
[I can't believe they didn't see Green Thumb. He was so hard to miss. Even when Ur distracted U still see better]
[HEY! I'm not the one who sleep walks! 💀]
[And yet I'm always there to guard Ur back partner]
He's right of course, though you're not going to tell him. Xavier likes to play the part of a soft and harmless little thing, but it doesn't take much to stoke the hunter into burning hotter than you intended. His evol might be light, but you know better than anyone that light, under careful concentration, can start a blazing fire if you're not mindful. His teasing isn't ever harmful though, so instead you decide to simply poke the bear.
[Only because I'm starting to suspect you like it back there]
The distinct sound of a phone accidentally hitting the concrete marks the end of that thread.
Its not long before another of your regulars, pair of young kids Xavier had called the Trouble Twins arrived on scene. Aptly named for the number of times their poor mother has chastised them for chasing the ducks and picking the flowers, the siblings were quite the rambunctious duo. Today they seem to be a few steps ahead of their vigilant mother, rushing into the park with high-pitched hollers and improvised swords made of small branches they'd found. Today's unfortunate conquest seemed to be the pigeons that were being fed by the local grannies.
[They look like a pair of knights today don't they?]
[Knights? Don't knights usually protect people?]
[Maybe they're protecting us from the pigeons]
[Xavier those old ladies look pretty mad idk. That one even tried to chase the boy and almost caught him!]
The pause in messages was punctuated by his soft laughter above you, carried on the spring breeze. It was so warm, so genuine, so comfortable. You didn't need a mirror to feel the heat bloom in your cheeks; the overwhelming sensation of ardor flooding you at the the very sound.
[You're right. He needs more training. A good Knight should never be caught by an old lady]
[.... I don't think that's the message here Xav]
The rest of your morning goes back and forth like this for another hour. Watching your favorite people pass by, concocting new and interesting stories for them as they pass your balconies. Xavier has very interesting and oddly insightful opinions on those around him, considering you don't really recall seeing him with many friends. None the less, his company and companionship on your balconies has easily become your favorite part of the week. The only noises between you are the laughter that passes back and forth as the texts volley from one to another.
Finally, as the afternoon sun starts to become an uncomfortable heat, your phone chimes once more.
[I'm getting kind of hungry]
[Oh good. You're warning me this time. Thanks!]
[What?]
[No. I was going to ask if U wanted to go to lunch. With me, I mean?]
And just like that, the storybook was snapping shut. No longer a fragment lost in time where two people gazed at the same scene together from two separate places, but a tangible moment you could step into. Something intimate and real.
Perhaps you stayed in this thought a moment too long, or your silence below him made him second guess himself, as the chime of your phone snapped you out of your daze again.
[I didn't mean to impose if U have plans]
[I know it's Ur day off too]
Fumbling with the suddenly slippery device, softly cursing, and praying he didn't hear, you quickly hammer out the only thing that's been playing in your head on repeat-
[Yes absolutely! I'd love to grab some lunch I'm starving]
[Meet me downstairs in 30?]
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iamyourdailydoseofbi · 5 months
Note
Hello dear, "will you pray for me" will have a second part? bc the first is magnificent 😋🫣
WILL YOU PRAY FOR ME? ( House of the Dragon x Reader ) Pt. 2
AUTHOR NOTE! Yes. I need to write more of Aegon so that I can make the perfect mix of TV SHOW and BOOK! Aegon for my fic, 'THE CONQUEROR REBORN'. [ Yes that is me shamelessly promoting it. Check out the link for it in my previous posts. ] <3 pairing: DARK! Aegon ii Targaryen x Fem! Hightower! Reader prompt: Aegon returns back from the Battle of Rook's Rest, seeking comfort from his bride-to-be. Only then does chaos ensure. word count: 1, 298+ words
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As soon as he had left the Sept. You prayed, and prayed, and prayed to whoever would listen to your sobs and prayers. It did not matter if it was the Gods of Old, New or the forgotten ones. A twisted part of you praying that Aegon did not survive the battle, that he would be dead. That you would be spared of being his second wife. You did not wish for it. To be married to him nonetheless, not when the glint in his eyes made it clear that it would not be a pleasant marriage. 
When the aching of your knees grew too much from praying for hours on end, you returned to the Red Keep. Hoping that Alicent or even Otto would confirm it was Aegon playing a cruel jest on you. But, when Alicent burst into tears, begging you to forgive her for not protecting you hard enough. It was then that you realized Aegon was being serious. Dead serious.
You would be his bride, his little thing, the thing he would use to warm his bed, to do whatever he wished. Not unless you found a way out of it, one that would keep your reputation still in tack. So lying about being a maiden would not work. Then, it clicked, a betrothal. 
Aegon would not be able to protest if you were already promised to another. The new task came in finding someone to marry you. Someone of decent standing, who would be willing to offer just enough protection from Aegon. That’s where Lord Redwyne came in. From a good House and standing, kind and loyal. A good ally to the Green’s. To lose him would be a costly thing. It was perfect. You were saved. 
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Holding the hand of Lord Redwyne, you give him a gentle smile, happy that he was willing to take the burden of protecting you from Aegon. No matter how many times you had said your thanks, it felt like it would not be enough. Not many men would dare to do something like this for a woman, many saw women as things, not people. So for him to do such a thing showed that he either cared, or it was a matter of pride and defending his honor. 
Watching as the carriage slowly pulls into the courtyard, you shift in place, fear bubbling up within you. You did not know how Aegon would react. Would he yell? Would he get violent? Would he demand of you both to be thrown into the Black Cells? Feeling a gentle kiss be placed on your knuckles, you turn your head away, feeling at ease at the caring gaze of Lord Redwyne. Instantly feeling better, you look back, watching a now injured Aegon limp out of the carriage. 
“Rook’s Rest is ours. Now, where is Y/n, I wish to see my bride.” Aegon states, a smug grin tugging at his lips. 
“Aegon, let us speak⎯” Alicent tries to interfere.
“No, Mother. Where is she?” Aegon cuts in, his voice cold. 
Not daring to speak up, you look him over carefully. His left side was wrapped in bandages, with tiny specs of burnt flesh peaking through. His armor was charred only on the left side, leaving you to guess that he had been attacked on the left side on dragonback. Feeling his predatory gaze shift onto you, you resist the urge to cower, using Lord Redwyne as a shield. 
“What is this?” Aegon states an unnerving lack of emotion in his voice. 
“I am betrothed to Lord Redwyne, your grace. I am unable to marry you as my hand is already taken, your grace.” You explain, hoping it would be enough to deter him.
“No.” He states, “No.” 
No? Was he honestly just saying no like it would change anything?
“Ser Cristion, kill Lord Redwyne, dispose of his body how you see fit. Lady Y/n will be coming with me to my chambers.” Aegon states, almost as if he was speaking of weather and not murder. 
Feeling the blood drain from your face at his casual orders, you turn to Ser Cristion, the Hand just as equally shell shocked. He was not serious, was he? He wouldn’t dare to kill Lord Redwyne, an ally of his, someone that he needed to win the war. This could not be happening. Looking between a stone-faced Aegon and Ser Crisiton, nobody moves or says a word. 
It was just palpable tension in the air that brewed in the stillness. Glancing over to Lord Redwyne, he only stares Aegon down, the two clearly size each other up. Surprisingly, Lord Redwyne doesn’t back down, still standing toe-to-toe with Aegon. Which only made the darkness in Aegon’s eyes grow more and more. 
“You can either break the betrothal with Lady Y/n and leave a living man, or I will kill you myself and still take her as my wife.” Aegon states, cutting the silence. 
No. No. No. This could not be happening. This was supposed to be your escape. Your way of getting rid of him.
“I suggest you pick the latter..” Aegon adds, “Before I decide that mercy is below me.”
“Your grace, you cannot be⎯”
“No, no, I am. Now, like I said, leave before I decide that mercy is below me.” Aegon argues, a dead serious look on his face. 
Looking at Lord Redwyne, you prayed that he would not back down, that he would stand up for you and refuse to let you become Aegon’s second wife. Feeling tears tickle up in your eyes, Lord Redwyne pulls your hand up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss on your knuckles. There was a glint, a glint of regret and sorry in his eyes and you just knew. He was going to leave you. 
He mutters a quick, ‘I am sorry, my Lady.’, before swiftly leaving you with Aegon.
“No..” You whisper, your voice so soft that it nearly went unnoticed. 
“Wise choice, Lord Redwyne.” Aegon smirks, the feeling of doom crashing down on you.
“No..” You whisper, a single tear falling down your cheek. 
Holding back the tears that continued to bubble in your eyes, it took everything in you to not start sobbing as realty crashed down on you. No one, not even the most honorable men, would be willing to protect you from Aegon. You would be his bride. It would be happening whether you liked it or not. 
Feeling a bandaged finger brush against your cheek, you are snapped back to reality, remembering who stands next to you. Turning your head to go over and look at him, there is a smug smirk tugging at his lips, the healing burn scar just above his left eyebrow only making him look more sinister. 
“Come, my little bride. I need someone to tend to my wounds.” Aegon orders, dragging you by the wrist. 
----
@lovelykhaleesiii
@fragileheartbeats
@danytar
@nightvers
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mononijikayu · 13 days
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choice — erwin smith.
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‘If I were on the verge of death this mission… Y/N, let me face it and rest.’ She could still feel the warmth of his hand on her cheek, his thumb brushing against her skin with a gentleness that belied the harsh reality of their world. She had taken his hand in hers, squeezing it tightly, holding onto him, holding onto the promise she had made. ‘Promise me.’
GENRE: alternate universe - canon divergence;
WARNING/S: manga spoilers chapter 84 (midnight sun), angst, romance, hurt/comfort, canon character death, crying, hurt, sadness, remembering memories, grief, fighting, canon related violence, depiction of implied romantic relationship, depictions of character death, depiction of grief, depiction of canon related violence, depiction of canon character death, depiction of hurt, depiction of blood and injuries mention of memories, mention of relationship, mention of blood and injuries, commander erwin!, scout! reader;
WORD COUNT: 4.6k words
NOTE: i found my erwin fics and decided to rewrite them for publication, so i hope you enjoy them. its a really good one, i think. and it's a rare call back to my time with aot!!! please look forward to me branching out to other stories again. i'll publish something jjk tomorrow too!!! thank you so much for reading, i love you <3
EVERYTHING WAS A BLUR. Levi's hand trembled slightly as he gripped the serum, his fingers curled tightly around the vial, knuckles white from the strain. The tension was palpable in the air, an invisible force pressing down on everyone in the room.
Hanji, their expression torn between determination and desperation, struggled to restrain Mikasa, whose eyes were blazing with fury and anguish. Mikasa strained against her hold, her voice a mix of pleading and anger, begging Levi to make a different choice. Her cries cut through the stillness like shards of glass.
Floch, across the room, had Eren pinned against the wall, his hands gripping Eren's shoulders tightly as if afraid he might bolt or collapse. Eren's gaze was distant, hollow, his body slack against Floch's grip, but his eyes bore the weight of countless decisions, each heavier than the last. His expression was unreadable, lost in a place between determination and resignation.
She stood there, apart from it all, her heart heavy as she watched the scene unfold before her like a cruel play, its lines and actions repeating over and over. The echoes of past decisions, of choices that had led them here, resounded in her mind. She had seen this before — not just once, but a thousand times, in a thousand different ways, and each time it felt like another piece of her soul was being chipped away.
A thousand times of sorrow, a thousand times of pain, of grief that seemed endless.
She wondered if perhaps that was all she 
To her left, she saw Bertoldt, the traitor, sprawled on the ground, unconscious. His face was contorted in agony even in his unconscious state, his body broken and torn apart. The lower half of his legs were missing, replaced by grotesque, steaming stumps where flesh met air.
Steam hissed from the wounds, curling upward in thin, wavering wisps, dissipating into the cold air. His betrayal had come at a cost, and now his once formidable Titan form seemed pitiful, a broken shell of what it had been.
A few feet away lay Armin Arlert, the boy — no, the young cadet — who had been burnt alive by flames so fierce they seemed to have etched themselves onto his very bones. His skin was charred, blackened, and blistered, his small frame twisted and fragile, like a crumpled piece of paper.
His bright eyes were closed, his breathing so faint it was almost undetectable, and yet there was a strange calm about him, a finality in his stillness. She felt the echo of his screams in her ears, a phantom pain that gnawed at her insides. The fire had claimed him, scorching through his entire being, leaving behind only a husk of who he once was.
And then… there was him.
Erwin Smith stood beside her, tall and unwavering, his presence like an anchor amidst the chaos. His face was set in that familiar, resolute expression, eyes sharp and determined.
But beneath the surface, she saw the toll this day had taken on him — the weight of all the lives he had led, the burdens of countless decisions, each one chipping away at the man who had carried them all.
The dirt and blood on his skin were like war paint, symbols of a struggle that was not yet over. His breath was steady, but his gaze betrayed the weariness of a man who had pushed beyond his limits.
When it came to injury and blood, you were used to it. When you lay together, the smell too was heavy. And yet, it was all different now. Now that no breath echoed through him. No longer housing a soul, this husk of a shell.
His hand hovered near hers, so close that she could almost feel the tremor in his fingers, the slight hesitation that spoke volumes. He was right there, standing beside her, as he had so many times before. In his presence, she felt the push and pull of conflicting emotions — admiration and anger, faith and doubt.
He was a symbol of everything she had fought for and everything she had lost. She didn’t need to look up to know his expression; she knew it too well, had memorized every line of his face, every flicker in his eyes.
The scene before her was an unending cycle of torment and choice. Her eyes moved between the bodies, the broken figures of the living and the dying. Erwin, Bertoldt, Armin. Each name weighed heavy in her mind, each a testament to the violence and agony that had become their existence.
How many times had she witnessed this? How many times had she stood at this precipice, feeling as if the world was about to shatter into a thousand irreparable pieces?
Erwin’s presence beside her grounded her in that moment of harrowing clarity. For all the sorrow and pain she had known, he had been a constant — a reminder that even in the face of utter hopelessness, someone had to keep moving forward.
"We're giving the serum to Erwin, that is that!" Levi's voice rang out with a ferocity that left no room for argument, cutting through the chaos like a blade. The finality in his tone was unmistakable, a command that brooked no defiance.
Yet, even as he spoke, the young Jaeger cadet, Eren, continued to cry and scream, his voice raw and desperate, pleading with Levi to save his friend. His words were a frantic chorus, a manifestation of the anguish in his heart, but they fell on deaf ears. The redhead, Hange, quickly pulled Eren back, her face a mask of determination mingled with grief.
"Everyone away from here! In this place, we're going to revive Erwin," Levi barked again, trying to maintain his focus, trying to shield his resolve from the relentless tide of emotion that threatened to engulf him.
But then, there was Mikasa Ackerman. The girl with the dark eyes and the fierceness of a storm. She moved with a fluid grace, her muscles coiled like a spring ready to release. She lunged forward, her face contorted in a mixture of anger and heartbreak, her hands reaching out as if to claw back what was slipping away.
For a long time, she had seemed like a machine, all cold steel and sharp edges, but now… now she was anything but emotionless. There was something burning in her eyes — a ferocity that came from the depths of her soul, from a place of profound love and an equally profound loss. She felt as deeply as any of them. Perhaps even deeper. Deeper than Levi, deeper than Hange, perhaps deeper than anyone she had ever known.
And then, everyone left. One by one, the cries and shouts faded into the distance. The decision was made. The line was drawn. The living had been pulled away, leaving only the dying and the few who dared to remain.
But she stayed.
She could not move, could not bring herself to step back into the shadows and let it all fade away. She remained, rooted to the spot, as if by some unseen force, watching as Levi, with deliberate steps, approached Erwin. The tension in the air was thick, and Levi’s gaze was fixed on Erwin, his face a mask of conflicting emotions — determination, regret, sorrow.
Levi halted suddenly, his steps faltering as he noticed her there, kneeling beside Erwin. He hesitated, his brows furrowing. He couldn't read her expression; her face was an enigma, a puzzle that eluded him as much as Erwin's own had so often done. He studied her, but her eyes, her mouth, the set of her jaw — none of it gave him any clue. She seemed as much a mystery as the dying commander beside her, caught between life and death, between decision and indecision.
Without a word, she reached out, her hand brushing gently against Erwin's golden hair. She could feel the dirt and grime that had settled there, the earth that clung to him like a shroud, as if the ground itself sought to claim him before his time.
Her fingers trembled slightly as they moved through the strands, feeling the weight of the dirt, the roughness of the earth that seemed to signify all the burdens he had borne.
Her touch was tender, almost reverent, as if trying to convey a thousand unsaid things, a thousand unvoiced apologies and regrets, all in the delicate brush of her fingers through his hair. There was something sacred in this moment, something that felt like a goodbye that hadn't been spoken, a final connection to a man who had been so much to so many — a leader, a savior, a man with a dream that had carried them all forward. Your...your lover.
Erwin and you had never said anything about it. Labels weren't really what you both were able to say. Permanence was a rarity in your world, after all. A tie to humanity was a bane to the shoulders carrying the weight of the world. And yet....yet both of you know it. Felt it. Knew it.
Levi's gaze never left her, trying to decipher the meaning behind her touch, trying to understand what she was thinking, what she was feeling. But her face remained unreadable, a canvas of calm amidst the storm, as she continued to stroke Erwin's hair, her breath shallow, her heart pounding in her chest like a drumbeat, matching the rhythm of a life that was slipping away.
In this moment, she felt the gravity of the choice they were about to make, the choice Levi was about to make, and she wondered if there was any right answer in a world so torn apart by suffering and sacrifice. The world seemed to narrow down to this single moment, this single touch, and she realized with a sinking feeling that whatever happened next, nothing would ever be the same.
"Y/N," Levi called out, his voice cutting through the stillness as he stopped a few feet away from her, urgency lacing his words. "Get away from him. We're running out of time."
Her eyes didn't leave Erwin's face, but her response was swift and firm, "Don't make the choice for him." She turned her gaze to meet Levi’s, and in her eyes, emotions swirled and collided — fear, sadness, resolve. Emotions that danced just beyond his understanding. "Not this time."
Levi's brows drew together, his frustration evident. "Huh? What do you mean, you brat?" He didn't have time for this, not now, not when every second mattered. He needed her to understand, to see reason.
"You chose for him before," she continued, her voice quieter now but no less forceful. "And he took it to heart. There will be no point in this." Her gaze fell back to Erwin, her hands brushing gently against his skin as if she could soothe him even in this state.
"There is," Levi shot back, his tone blunt and unwavering. "Erwin lives."
She shook her head, and for the first time, he saw the sheen of tears brimming in her eyes. "What for?" she whispered, her voice barely more than a breath, yet it carried the weight of her breaking heart. "Levi, you'll be bringing him back to hell. There is no need for him to… to see it all over again."
"Y/N—" Levi began, his voice faltering slightly. 
"I saw it today, Levi," she interrupted, her words almost a scream, yet they came out in a low, choked sob, thick with the grief clawing at her throat. "You freed him, and now you want to cage him again? That's enough, please…"
Levi’s eyes softened, if only for a moment, as he watched her turn back to Erwin, her movements tender and deliberate, as if any sudden motion might shatter what little was left holding her together. He saw the way her hands trembled, the way her lips quivered as if she were on the verge of breaking. “Oi…” he started, but the words died in his throat, replaced by a quiet bewilderment. "You want him to die?"
She closed her eyes, tears spilling over and tracing paths down her cheeks, and when she looked at him again, her expression was raw and open, the pain evident in every line of her face. "
I love him," she replied softly, her voice filled with a sorrow so deep it seemed to echo in the very air around them.
She leaned down, her lips brushing against Erwin's brow in a gentle, final kiss, her hands cradling his head tenderly as if trying to imprint this moment into her soul. If he was alive, he would have smiled at her. His own orbs looking at her face, as though memorizing each and every muscle, each and every expression, each and every moment. But he would never do so ever again.
"I prepared myself for this moment long ago, Levi. That’s why I'm letting him go to rest. As you should."
Levi felt something shift inside him, a familiar ache he had tried so hard to bury now resurfacing with a vengeance. He stared at her, her words sinking in, crashing against his resolve like waves against a crumbling shore. For a moment, he faltered. Her plea echoed in his mind, mingling with the memories of Erwin's countless sacrifices, his relentless drive, his dream that had become a curse. Levi knew that she wasn't asking for Erwin to die; she was begging for him to be free.
He felt his chest tighten, felt the weight of her grief pressing against his own. He had seen so much death, so much loss, but this — this was different. This was a plea from someone who had loved Erwin not just as a leader but as a man, who had seen him not as a symbol or a figurehead but as a human being with fears, dreams, and regrets.
“Y/N…” he whispered, almost helplessly, his hands tightening around the serum as if it could somehow solve everything, make everything right. But nothing was right. Nothing had been right for a long time.
She held Erwin close, her tears falling freely now, soaking into his dirt-streaked hair, her body shaking with the force of her sobs. "Let him rest, Levi," she whispered, a broken prayer against his skin. "Let him go where he doesn't have to fight anymore, where he doesn't have to be a soldier. Let him have peace."
Levi’s hand dropped a fraction, his gaze torn between Erwin’s still face and the woman kneeling beside him, her own spirit breaking right before his eyes. For once, in this world of endless battles, he felt the ground shift beneath him, felt the weight of what it meant to be a human in a world that seemed to forget what humanity meant.
In the silence that followed, he heard the quiet beat of his own heart, heard her quiet sobs, and he wondered if there was ever truly a choice in this place of unending suffering.
Levi looked down at the syringe in his hand, its weight seeming to grow heavier with every passing second. His gaze shifted to Erwin's still face, then to Y/N, her eyes pleading, full of pain and something deeper — something that touched a place in him he rarely let himself feel. He took a deep breath, steadying himself, feeling the full gravity of the decision pressing down on his shoulders, a burden he could scarcely bear.
He made the choice.
His hand moved, quick and certain, not allowing himself to second-guess, to hesitate any longer. He turned away from Erwin, his feet carrying him toward the burned and broken body of the young boy, Armin Arlert. Without a word, Levi injected the serum into Armin's arm, pushing the plunger down, watching the clear liquid disappear into the boy's veins.
There was no turning back now.
He stepped back, and it wasn't long before the transformation began. Armin's body twitched, convulsing violently, his eyes snapping open with a look of wild terror. He gasped, his mouth opening wide as an unearthly scream tore from his throat, a sound that echoed across the broken landscape, a sound that seemed to pierce the very heavens themselves.
His skin crackled and smoked, his limbs flailing as if possessed by some primal force. It was a cry of agony, of rebirth, a sound that spoke of pain and confusion and the violent struggle for life.
"(Y/N)…" The soft murmur caught her attention, pulling her gaze away from the horrific sight of Armin's resurrection. Her heart seized in her chest as she lowered her head, her eyes falling to the parted lips of her dying lover, Erwin Smith.
His voice was barely a whisper, so faint she almost missed it amidst the chaos around them. She was certain he didn't know she was there beside him, even after all these years together, all these battles fought side by side, all these nights spent dreaming of a future that seemed so close and yet so impossibly far away.
"Let's… listen… to my… father's stories again..." Erwin's voice was broken, fragmented, each word a struggle, a final breath barely escaping his lips. His eyes were glazed, unfocused, his body limp in her arms.
Those were his last words — a quiet request from a man who had lived his entire life in search of the truth, a man whose heart had been filled with endless questions and doubts. He wanted to go back, back to those days when things were simpler, back to when he had believed in the stories his father told him, back to when there was still a chance to believe in something more.
She listened, tears streaming down her face, each drop carrying a piece of her breaking heart. She felt his pulse slow beneath her fingertips, felt the warmth begin to fade from his skin. She felt his heartbeat — once strong and steady, the rhythm that had carried him through countless battles — slow to a stop. She could no longer feel it, the silence deafening in her ears.
"You died in my arms, my love." she whispered softly, her voice breaking, her body trembling with the weight of her sorrow. She held him close, cradling his head against her chest, her fingers running through his hair one last time. "Just like you wanted…"
Her words were a quiet lament, a final goodbye. She had known this moment would come, had prepared herself for it, or so she thought. But now, with his lifeless body in her arms, all her preparations felt like dust in the wind.
She had loved him with everything she had, had believed in him, had stood by him even when the world seemed to crumble around them. And now he was gone, leaving her with nothing but a shattered heart and a memory that would never fade.
She held him, her tears falling silently, mingling with the dirt and the blood and the sweat that covered them both. She held him as if by doing so, she could keep him a little longer, keep him from slipping away entirely. She held him because it was all she could do, because in the end, there was nothing left but this — this final act of love, this final goodbye.
Levi stood nearby, silent, watching as she wept, his own heart heavy with the weight of the choices he had made, with the price of their survival. He had chosen life for one, and in doing so, had condemned another to death. He knew there were no right answers, not in this world, not in this hell they lived in. There were only choices, and consequences, and the burden of living with them.
Levi and Hange stood side by side, their eyes fixed on the scene unfolding in the distance. The young cadet, Armin, devoured the traitor Bertolt with a savage ferocity that seemed almost inhuman. Steam rose from his new, massive form, swirling around him like a shroud. It was a sight both grotesque and tragic — a boy forced into monstrosity, into survival by any means, at the cost of his innocence.
Hange turned away from the chaos, her gaze softening as it fell upon Erwin’s lifeless body. Her fingers reached out, trembling slightly as they brushed over his eyelids, closing them gently, tenderly, as if she could somehow grant him the peace he had never found in life.
Levi turned his gaze to her, watching the grief that etched itself into her features, the quiet sorrow that hung in the air between them. He could see it in her eyes — the mourning for a comrade, for a friend, for a leader whose dream had been left unfulfilled.
"He's gone," Hange whispered, her voice barely more than a breath, each word heavy with emotion. She pursed her lips, struggling to maintain her composure, to keep herself from breaking. Erwin had been their anchor, their constant, and now he was gone. 
"Perhaps it's better this way." Levi replied with a soft sigh, his own voice tinged with a rare vulnerability. "He won't have to be in his hell anymore."
His eyes flicked back to Erwin's face, still and serene in death, free from the burdens that had weighed him down for so long. He couldn't help but think that maybe, in some small way, Erwin had found the peace he had never known in life.
Nearby, Floch’s brows furrowed in confusion and disbelief. He watched Y/N, still holding Erwin’s lifeless body, her hands running through his hair as if memorizing the feel of each strand.
“Why…” he began, his voice trailing off, unable to grasp why she seemed so calm, so accepting of what had happened.
Y/N's mind drifted back to a moment long ago, a memory that played like a silent film in her mind. Erwin’s voice came to her, clear and steady, even as his body had been failing.
‘If I were on the verge of death this mission… Y/N, let me face it and rest.’
She could still feel the warmth of his hand on her cheek, his thumb brushing against her skin with a gentleness that belied the harsh reality of their world.
She had taken his hand in hers, squeezing it tightly, holding onto him, holding onto the promise she had made. ‘Promise me.
"He wanted to rest." she said, her voice barely above a whisper, her fingers continuing to dance through his hair as if in a trance. Each touch was a farewell, a quiet goodbye to the man she had loved, to the dreams they had once dared to share. "This was his final choice."
‘I promise.’ she had whispered back then, her voice trembling with the weight of what she knew would come. She had made that promise, not understanding then how much it would cost her, how deeply it would cut. 
Now, as she held him in her arms, she understood. She had kept her word. She had let him go, had let him find the peace he had sought for so long. It didn’t matter what others thought, what they questioned or doubted.
She knew what he wanted. She had known him better than anyone, had seen him not just as the commander but as the man beneath — the man who had carried a burden too heavy for one person to bear.
Her voice trembled with love and pain as she whispered once more, "You’re free now, Erwin. You’re finally free." 
Levi glanced at her, recognizing the truth in her words, the inevitability of what had happened. There was nothing left to say. They had lost so much, sacrificed so much, and yet somehow, they had to keep moving forward, keep fighting, even as their hearts bled for the ones they’d left behind.
The air hung thick with silence, broken only by the distant rumblings of the newly born Titan, a sound that seemed almost distant compared to the weight of their loss. Levi’s eyes lingered on Y/N, her face shadowed with grief but also with a strange sense of serenity, an acceptance of what had come to pass. He could see it in her expression, in the way she cradled Erwin's body with a gentleness that spoke of deep, unwavering love.
Hange's breath hitched as she moved closer to them, her eyes searching Levi’s face for some form of reassurance, for some hint of what he was thinking, what he was feeling. She had seen him make countless choices before, seen him bear the weight of the world on his shoulders, but this… this was different. This was a choice he had never wanted to make.
“Levi…” she began, her voice soft, almost hesitant. “Do you think… do you think he knew?”
Levi's gaze didn’t leave Y/N. He took a moment before answering, his voice low and rough, like gravel underfoot. “I think he knew.” he said quietly. “I think he knew exactly what he wanted. And he made sure we understood it too, in his own way.”
Hange nodded slowly, understanding, though it didn’t make the pain any less sharp, any less real. She looked at Y/N, seeing how tightly she held onto Erwin, how she seemed to draw strength from his lifeless form, even now.
“He loved you,” Hange whispered, their voice filled with a quiet, knowing sadness. “He really did. You were his reason… for so much.”
Y/N nodded, the tears falling freely now, her heart breaking all over again at the words. “I know.” she replied, her voice catching in her throat. “And that’s why I had to let him go.”
Levi felt a pang in his chest, a rare, raw emotion that he rarely allowed himself to feel. He turned away slightly, trying to hide the tightness in his eyes, the moisture gathering there despite himself. “We should… we should get moving.” he said, his voice gruff, more of an order to himself than to anyone else. “There’s nothing left for us here.”
But Y/N didn’t move. She stayed where she was, holding Erwin close, her fingers still tangled in his hair, her eyes closed as if she were trying to memorize the moment, to imprint it into her soul forever.
“Just a little longer..” she murmured softly, more to herself than to anyone else. “Please… just a little longer.”
Levi hesitated, his heart aching as he watched her. He knew the pain of losing someone, knew it far too well. And yet, he also knew the strength it took to let go, to keep moving forward when everything inside you screamed to stay, to hold on, to never let go. 
“We’ll give you that,” Hange said quietly, a soft, understanding smile on their lips despite the tears in their eyes. “Take your time, Y/N. As much as you need.”
Levi nodded, finally turning his back to them, his gaze shifting to the horizon, to the future that lay ahead of them, uncertain and filled with shadows. “We’ll wait.” he added, his voice softer, more human than it had been in a long time. “But not too long.”
Y/N nodded, her eyes never leaving Erwin’s face, her heart aching with the knowledge that this was the last time she would see him, the last time she would feel his presence, his warmth, the strength that had always been there, guiding them, leading them, even in their darkest moments.
She leaned down, pressing her lips to his forehead one last time, a final kiss, a final farewell. “I’ll always love you, my love.” she whispered, her voice breaking, her tears falling like rain. “Always… until my last breath.”
And with that, she let him go. She released him from her arms, from the pain of this world, from the burdens that had weighed so heavily on him. She stood slowly, feeling the weight of her grief settle into her bones, a heaviness that she knew would never truly leave her.
Levi and Hange watched, silent, as she rose, as she took a deep breath and turned to face them, her face streaked with tears, but her eyes filled with a quiet, resolute strength. 
"Let’s go." she said softly, her voice steady, though her heart was shattered. "We have to regroup now."
Levi nodded, a rare, almost imperceptible smile touching his lips. "Yeah."
99 notes · View notes
kazelvr · 1 year
Text
₊˚ෆˎˊ˗ let the light in
synopsis. relationship headcannons with 3 of my fav csm characters (strictly fem reader for quanxi, gender neutral reader for the rest)
cw. suggestive in quanxi’s part, im just absolutely in love with her lol, mentions of vomit in denji’s part, implied modern au in aki’s part
note. my writing may be a bit different, because i’m trying something new.. i apologize 😭. i also made this half asleep.. time check 4:11 am
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denji (デンジ)
to be real, denji has no clue about healthy relationships. that’s putting it mildly, right? the only ‘relationships’ he’s had were all about manipulation and brainwashing.
but hey, he really does put in the effort for you! denji’s going to do whatever it takes to make you happy, such as going bankrupt for the sake of a gift.
despite being in a relationship, denji still feels awkward around you. his shyness towards you was evident from the beginning, and now it has only intensified. please bear with him, he’ll come around eventually!
but when he does get comfortable.. denji forms a deep emotional connection with you. he’s faced many challenges, and all he’s ever wanted is to feel loved. you have become that source of comfort to him, and that means the world.
at first, his kisses can be awkward, unsure of where to put his hands, and he might even keep this eyes open. you might need to show him how to kiss properly, which can be even harder if he’s your first kiss.
he always craves cuddles, day in and out. he’s a true cuddlebug. he likes feeling the steady rhythm of your breath against his skin. whether if he’s the little spoon, or the big spoon, his sole desire is to sleep while being in physical contact with you. he finds it impossible to sleep without you.
on those days when you’re super busy and can’t cuddle with him, denji gets all pouty. it’s quite dramatic, really, how he gives you the side eye and ignores you when you try to talk about it. but, he can’t stay mad at you forever. eventually, he’ll give in and cling onto you like a koala. he’s not letting go, by the way.
he is keeping you away from power at all costs, even if you two are friends. if she ever found out that denji has a partner, she will not leave him alone. power will definitely embarrass denji in front of you, telling you about all of his flaws while he tries to stop her from saying anything else… he was never able to stop her.
on your birthday, aki attempted to assist denji in preparing a meal for you. unfortunately, it was a complete disaster and the food turned out to be unappetizing… despite aki’s desperate attempts to persuade denji not to serve you his charred creation, denji, being denji, stubbornly refused to listen. when you took a bite, the taste was so revolting that your stomach couldn’t bear it any longer. you regurgitated the ill fated meal… it’s the thought that counts, right?
overall, he’s trying really hard to be a good boyfriend, please appreciate him.
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aki hayakawa (早川アキ)
this man…. phewww…
aki is the epitome of a respectful boyfriend, always seeking your consent before engaging in any action, be it a simple kiss or a gentle touch.
if you happen to be someone who tends to be disorganized and messy, rest assured aki will gladly take on the responsibility of tidying up after you. regardless of the severity of the mess, simply tell him, and he will promptly begin cleaning it up, without any judgement.
bathing together has become a regular routine for the both of you, a frequent occurrence that follows a long day of hunting devils. aki, in particular, finds comfort in sharing these type of moments with you. the soothing warmth of the bathwater coupled with the gentle sensation of your hands massaging shampoo into his hair, while he rests against your chest, brings him a new profound sense of relaxation. it’s not always about being sexual, but rather the feeling of closeness with you that brings him a sense of tranquility.
aki is like a dad sending text messages. when he’s not around, he would text you to ask if you need anything from the store. when he receives your response, he replies back with a simple “👍” emoji. that’s it.
aki is all about being the big spoon— it’s just who he is. aki has experienced too much loss and he can’t bear the thought of losing you. he holds you tightly in his grasp, afraid that if he loosens his grip, he’ll lose you, even though that would never be the case. your presence alone brings him a sense of security, and all he wants is for you to be safe.
every morning, this man never leaves for work without giving you a gentle kiss, even if you’re still groggy. you’re the sole reason he can maintain his sanity while battling devils all day.
to aki, you’re like his home, his safe space. you are the one he can confide in, and shed tears without any guilt, and that is one of the many reasons why he loves you.
aki is tall, standing at 190cm (6’2). every time you talk to him, he lowers himself to your level so he can hear you more clearly. sometimes, you think he’s doing it to make fun of you, but in reality, he just wants to be close to you.
aki has a reputation for being aloof, but in reality, he is the complete opposite. he’s a dork. a dork who can’t help but smile whenever your name comes up, a dork who finds himself captivated by your every feature, analyzing them with great interest. a dork who’s madly in love.
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quanxi (クァンシ)
quanxi has a deep admiration for her girls’ body, and it’s no secret - especially to you, who has personally felt her touch. every inch of your body is your favorite, from the curves of your breasts to the softness of your thighs. she revels in worshiping every aspect of you, leaving you feeling loved.
when someone utters even the slightest offensive remark towards you, quanxi’s protective remarks kick in, particularly if it comes from a man. she wholeheartedly defends you, regardless of whether you were in the wrong (gotta stand up for your girls), she becomes so defensive she almost resorts to physical confrontation, refusing to let anyone disrespect under her watch.
quanxi’s touch is ever-present. usually, it’s her hand on your waist in public, marking you as hers. behind closed doors, she explores every inch of you. it makes you wonder if she’s a different person outside of the public eye. but, who’s complaining?
i like to think that when quanxi gets drunk, she gets awfully needy and with you. she enjoys holding onto your arm and leaning against you, gently nibbling your ear, while softly expressing slurred compliments about your beauty.
quanxi is your ultimate protector, in every sense of the word. facing a menacing devil? before you can even blink, quanxi is by your side, fearlessly slaying the creature. your girlfriend takes pride in being your number one protecter, regardless of your strength.
making out sessions happen 90% of the time you two are together. quanxi simply can’t resist when you give her that irresistible look, with your lips appearing soft and pouted!
titty lover
519 notes · View notes
connorsui · 20 days
Text
The Faint Glimmers of Yesterday
Dabi x reader (main), Shoto x reader (platonic relationship)
genre/ warnings: Angst, straight up depression, Imprisonment, rough kiss, small moments of fluff in between (ur memories are making u cry harder  synopsis : After the war, Touya,  is captured by the government and faces trial for his crimes. His girlfriend  who has stood by him through everything, is left to grapple with the reality of his conviction. As she fights through the cruel media, the judgment of the world, and her own broken heart, she clings to the memories of their time together,  Note: I wanted convicted dabi …i blame pinterest for this …mommaaaaa im in loveeeeee with a criminaaaalllllllll
VIP: @greenmanshoe
w.c: 5.4K
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The room was dimly lit, the only light coming from the streetlamp outside the window that cast long shadows across the bed. You lay beside him, your head resting on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. It was a comforting sound, strong and reassuring, each beat a promise that he was still here with you, if only for a little while longer. His chest rose and fell in a slow, rhythmic cadence, grounding you in the present moment as you tried to savor every second.
His voice, when he spoke, was low and gravelly, like the distant roll of thunder. It resonated through you, wrapping around you like a protective embrace, carrying a depth of emotion that he rarely allowed himself to show. The scent of him was intoxicating—a mix of smoky wood, like charred cedar, and the sharp tang of his cologne, with an underlying warmth that was distinctly him. It was a scent that clung to the air around you, a constant reminder of his presence, even when he wasn’t there.
Touya’s  arm was draped lazily over your shoulders, his fingers idly tracing circles on your bare skin. The silence between you was heavy, filled with the unspoken tension of what was to come. You knew where he was going, what he was planning to do, and the thought of it made your heart ache.
“Do you really have to go?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, afraid that speaking any louder would shatter the fragile peace you’d found in this moment. You wanted to hold onto it, to hold onto him, for as long as you could.
Touya didn’t answer right away. Instead, he tilted his head slightly, gazing down at you with those intense, piercing blue eyes that had first drawn you to him. He was beautiful in a way that was almost dangerous, all sharp edges and raw power, but to you, he was everything.
“You know I will…even if ill rather be here,” he finally replied, his voice low and rough, like gravel beneath your fingertips.
“But you don’t have to,” you insisted, your fingers clutching at his shirt, trying to keep him close. “You know that, right? We can—”
He cut you off, pulling you tighter against his chest, his hand moving to cradle the back of your head. His lips pressed to your forehead, then your cheeks, each kiss soft and lingering, as if he was trying to memorize the feel of you.
“Baby… baby, listen to me,” he murmured, his breath warm against your skin. “Even if I had gone with you to the heavens above, I would have still found a way to rain hell upon that man.” There was a dark, fierce determination in his voice, one that sent a shiver down your spine.
“I Just- …you know how I feel about all of this …its difficult to come to terms with it” 
“I know…and I’m sorry” 
You closed your eyes, trying to savor the feel of him, the sound of his voice, the way his body felt against yours. You wanted to remember everything—his laugh, his smile, the way his hair felt when you ran your fingers through it. The memory of helping him dye his hair black flashed through your mind, and a bittersweet smile tugged at your lips.
You could still remember the way he’d sat on the floor, legs stretched out, while you carefully applied the dye, trying to get every strand just right.
“Careful, babe,” he’d teased, his voice lighter than usual, a rare playful note threading through it. “Don’t want to end up with half my hair still white. Unless that’s your way of saying you like me better that way?”
You’d laughed, shaking your head as you tried to concentrate. “No way. You’d look like a half-done project. We’re going all in, Touya, no shortcuts.”
He’d smirked at that, leaning back a little, his blue eyes twinkling with mischief. “All in, huh? I like the sound of that. But you sure you’re not just looking for an excuse to touch me?”
You’d felt your face heat up at his teasing, and before you could respond, he’d leaned forward, closing the distance between you, his lips hovering just above yours. “Come on, don’t leave me hanging,” he’d murmured, his breath warm against your lips. “A kiss for your man?”
You’d giggled, trying to focus on the task at hand, but he was too close, too tempting. The dye on your fingers was forgotten as you leaned in, brushing your lips against his in a soft, lingering kiss. He’d tasted like mint and something darker, something that was purely him, and you’d melted into him, laughing against his mouth as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his lap.
“I think you’re more dye than human now,” you’d teased, pulling back slightly to see the smudges of black dye on his face and hands.
He’d chuckled, a sound that was rare but so precious to you, and he’d wiped a smudge off your cheek with his thumb. “Well, if that’s the price I have to pay to get you this close, I’ll take it.”
The two of you had spent the rest of the evening in fits of laughter, trying to clean up the mess you’d made, but neither of you really cared. It was one of those moments where the world outside didn’t matter, where it was just you and him, caught up in each other, in the simplicity of being together.
As you lay on his chest, savoring every second of the fleeting peace, you felt the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your cheek. The warmth of his body, the scent of his cologne, the low rumble of his voice—it was all so familiar, so comforting, and yet there was an undercurrent of sadness in every beat, every breath. The reality of what was to come weighed heavily on both of you, a silent tension that neither of you wanted to acknowledge. But the future was inevitable, looming over you like a dark cloud, threatening to tear apart the fragile moment of tranquility you’d created together.
You closed your eyes, letting the memory of your time with him wash over you, holding onto the feeling of his arms wrapped around you, the softness of his lips against your forehead. You wanted to believe that this moment could last forever, that you could somehow hold onto him and keep him safe, but deep down, you knew that was just a dream—a dream that was slipping through your fingers like sand.
As sleep began to take you, your breathing slowed to match his, the rise and fall of your chest syncing with the steady rhythm of his. The world around you started to fade, the edges of your consciousness blurring until there was nothing left but the sound of his heartbeat, growing fainter with each passing second.
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And then, just like that, the warmth was gone. The scent of him, the comforting sound of his heartbeat, the soft feel of his skin against yours—all of it vanished, leaving behind a cold, empty void.
Touya blinked, disoriented, as the familiar warmth of the bed was replaced by the harsh, unyielding concrete of a holding cell. The dim light of the streetlamp outside your window was gone, replaced by the cold, fluorescent glare of a single overhead light. The comforting scent of his cologne was replaced by the acrid smell of cigarette smoke and the musty air of confinement.
Touya sat alone in the cell, his back against the wall, the orange jumpsuit stark against his pale and damaged skin. His head was bowed, small strands of black hair to his white falling into his eyes as he took a long drag from the cigarette between his fingers. The smoke curled lazily around him, the faint glow of the cigarette the only warmth in the room.
But even in this cold, lonely place, the memory of you lingered, a small, precious light in the darkness. As he exhaled, the smoke seemed to carry your scent with it, mingling with the stale air of the cell and bringing with it a wave of bittersweet memories. Your laughter, your smile, the way your eyes sparkled when you teased him—all of it flooded his mind, momentarily pushing away the cold reality of where he was. 
He tilted his head back, resting it against the wall as he closed his eyes, letting the memories of you take over. The feel of your fingers in his hair, the sound of your voice as you called his name, the way you’d looked at him with those soft, understanding eyes—it all played out in his mind like a movie, a vivid reminder of what he was fighting for, of why he had to keep going, even when everything else seemed hopeless.
But as much as he wanted to hold onto those memories, the cold reality of his situation refused to be ignored. The cuffs around his wrists dug into his skin, the rough fabric of the jumpsuit chafing against his bruised body. The cigarette burned down to the filter, the last ember glowing faintly before it, too, was extinguished, leaving nothing but a bitter taste in his mouth.
Touya opened his eyes, the weight of his thoughts settling heavily on his shoulders. The oppressive silence of the cell was a stark contrast to the warmth and comfort of the memories that had filled his mind moments before. The harsh fluorescent light above seemed to mock him, a reminder of the distance between the past and his present confinement.
He shifted uncomfortably, the heavy cuffs around his wrists clicking faintly as he adjusted his position. The cold concrete pressed against his back, and the musty air was thick with the lingering scent of cigarettes and old sweat. Each breath he took was a reminder of how far he was from the moments of tenderness and intimacy that had just been vivid in his thoughts.
Touya’s mind drifted back to the way your eyes had softened when you looked at him, the warmth of your laughter that had seemed to fill the room. He could almost feel the softness of your touch, the way your fingers had intertwined with his, and the way your presence had made everything feel just a little bit brighter.
But that brightness was now overshadowed by the grim reality of his situation. He longed to escape the confines of the cell, to feel the warmth of your embrace again, to hear your laughter and feel the gentle pressure of your lips against his. The stark contrast between the memory and the reality was almost unbearable, making the pain of separation feel even sharper.
He took another drag from the cigarette, the smoke swirling around him, mixing with the bitter taste of his own despair. The cigarette burned down to its final embers, and he flicked it away, the small glow disappearing into the darkness of the cell. The emptiness left in its wake seemed to mirror the void he felt inside, a gaping chasm where your presence used to be.
As the distant clamor of footsteps and voices echoed through the corridors, Touya’s mind was pulled back once again to the present. The sound seemed to serve as a cruel reminder of the separation between him and the person who had become his lifeline. The heavy cuffs around his wrists and the rough fabric of the orange jumpsuit were harsh reminders of the distance between the warmth of his memories and his current confinement.
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He knew that the days ahead would be tough, that the reality of his situation would not change anytime soon. But in his heart, he carried the memory of you with him, a precious treasure that he clung to in the face of adversity. And though the cell was a harsh and unforgiving place, the thought of seeing you again, of holding you close and feeling your warmth, was a beacon of hope that guided him through the darkness.
Meanwhile, in the car parked just outside the courthouse, you were enveloped in an atmosphere of tense anticipation. The memory of Dabi's warmth clung to you, a bittersweet comfort in the face of the looming confrontation. Shoto's presence beside you was a grounding force, his quiet strength a stark contrast to the chaos that awaited you outside.
The sound of reporters' voices grew louder, mingling with the rhythm of your anxious heartbeat. As you sat there, holding onto the memories of Dabi's embrace, the car's interior seemed to offer a fleeting sanctuary from the storm outside. But the reality of the situation was about to break through the bubble of tranquility you had tried to maintain.
Shoto turned to you, his expression softening with concern. “We don’t have to go in,” he said quietly, his voice gentle yet resolute. “You can stay here. It’s not too late to turn back.”
You shook your head, your voice trembling with determination. “I have to go. I’ve stood by him through everything. Leaving now… it would be like abandoning him when he needs me the most.”
Shoto’s gaze softened, and he nodded in understanding. “I’ll be with you every step of the way. You’re not alone in this.”
With a final, deep breath, you prepared to step out of the car. The echo of your own heartbeat seemed to match the pounding of Dabi's heartbeat you remembered from your last moment together. Shoto’s supportive grip on your hand anchored you, offering a semblance of stability as you faced the reality of the courthouse steps.
You opened the car door, and the swarm of reporters and the harsh reality of what was to come loomed ahead. Their cameras flashed like vultures, and their questions cut through the air with relentless sharpness.
“Is it true you’re in a relationship with Todoroki Touya?” “How does it feel to be in love with a villain?” “Do you think he deserves to go to prison for life?” — “Do you feel any kind of guilt for the people he murdered?” 
You could feel their eyes on you, judging, condemning, trying to tear you down. It took everything in you not to crumble under the weight of their scrutiny. But before you could respond, Shoto was there, pushing them back with a fierce protectiveness that contrasted with his usual calm demeanor.
“Step back,” he ordered, his voice cold and commanding. “Give her some space.”
He placed a reassuring hand on your back, guiding you through the throng of reporters, shielding you from their relentless onslaught as best as he could. Each step you took toward the courthouse felt like a battle against the rising tide of anxiety and doubt, but Shoto’s presence was a constant, calming force.
Inside the courthouse, the atmosphere shifted to a sterile, oppressive silence. The white walls and harsh lighting felt like a stark contrast to the warmth of the memories you held dear. Shoto guided you to your seat, his hand lingering on your back for a moment longer, a silent promise of unwavering support.
You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves as you focused on the front of the room. The judge entered, and the proceedings began, each word echoing through the courtroom like a relentless hammer.
The doors at the far end of the courtroom creaked open, and your heart skipped a beat as Touya was led in, shackled and clad in the orange jumpsuit that marked his new reality. His gaze met yours briefly, a fleeting moment of connection that spoke volumes despite the distance.
In that moment, amidst the harsh, unfeeling gaze of the courtroom and the cacophony of legal proceedings, you knew that your love for Touya was unwavering. No matter how harsh the world was or how dark the days became, you would face it all with him, holding onto the memory of the warmth and affection you had shared. And though the future was uncertain and fraught with challenges, your commitment to him remained steadfast, a beacon of hope amidst the shadows.
The courtroom was an unforgiving place, a stark expanse of white walls and cold, clinical decor that seemed to sap the warmth from the room. The air was thick with an almost palpable tension, a pressure that made it difficult to breathe, let alone think. Each tick of the clock on the wall seemed to stretch into eternity, magnifying the anxiety that churned in your chest. You sat in the front row, your gaze fixed on the front of the room, trying to steel yourself for the inevitable. The hardwood benches felt uncomfortably hard beneath you, a physical reminder of the harsh reality you were about to face.
The room's cold precision only served to highlight the gravity of the moment. The judge’s robe rustled as they took their seat, and the rhythmic ticking of the clock on the wall seemed to stretch each second into an eternity. Every detail of the room—the sterile whiteness of the walls, the clinical brightness of the overhead lights, and the stern faces of the people around you—was etched into your mind, magnifying your anxiety. You could hear the distant murmur of conversations, the shuffling of feet, and the occasional clink of metal as the guards adjusted Touya’s restraints. The growing dread in your stomach coiled tighter with each passing second, making it hard to focus on anything but the impending moment of devastation.
When the judge’s voice cut through the room with chilling authority, announcing the sentence of “Life in maximum security,” it felt as if the very ground beneath you had shattered. The finality of the words hit you with brutal force, an unyielding grip of despair that seemed to squeeze the air from your lungs. The courtroom fell into a heavy silence, the verdict hanging in the air like a dark cloud. Dabi’s shoulders sagged under the weight of his sentence, his usually defiant posture giving way to a crushing resignation that you could see from where you sat. His face, once a mask of fierce rebellion, now reflected a profound anguish that mirrored your own.
The guards began to move, preparing to escort him out of the room with mechanical efficiency. Time itself seemed to slow, each tick of the clock stretching into an eternity as the shackles clinked in a cruel metronome, marking the end of your last moments together. The metallic sound echoed through the courtroom, mingling with the murmurs of the crowd and the relentless clicking of cameras. The cold, unfeeling reality of the situation pressed in on you, each second a reminder of the brutal separation that was about to occur.
Driven by an overpowering need to be close to him, you stood up, your legs feeling like lead as you moved forward. The courtroom seemed to blur around you, the faces of the onlookers and the flashes of cameras fading into insignificance. The guards hesitated as you approached, their stern faces softened by a flicker of uncertainty. Touya’s gaze, however, never wavered from yours. There was an unspoken plea in his eyes, a desperate hope that you could somehow alter this cruel fate.
When you finally reached him, Touya’s cuffed hands reached out, trembling slightly as they grasped your waist. The cold metal of the cuffs pressed harshly against your back, a stark reminder of the reality that separated you. He pulled you close, his breath mingling with yours as his lips captured yours in a kiss that was both urgent and desperate. The kiss was a frantic outpouring of all the words and emotions he could no longer express, a silent scream against the cruel fate that had befallen him.
The world around you—the whispers of the courtroom, the flash of cameras, the distant murmur of voices—faded into insignificance. All that mattered was the intense connection between you, the desperate way his lips moved against yours, and the raw need to hold onto this fleeting moment of intimacy. His kiss was a tumultuous mix of longing and regret, his rough lips pressing against yours with a force that was almost bruising. The taste of him—smoke, fire, and something distinctly Dabi—flooded your senses, making your head spin.
You could feel the cold metal of his cuffs digging into your skin, a painful reminder of the distance that now lay between you. His hands trembled as they gripped the sides of your face, the clinking of the cuffs a soft, sorrowful counterpoint to the fevered intensity of the kiss. He pulled you closer, as if he could lose himself in you, merge with you, and escape the harsh reality that had torn you apart. His tongue tangled with yours in a desperate dance, each movement a blend of hunger and heartbreak.
As the guards began to pull him away, Touya’s grip tightened with a fierce, almost desperate intensity. His eyes locked onto yours, burning with a raw, unfiltered emotion that made your heart ache. The distance between you grew, each step he took toward the exit a knife twisting in your heart.
“You deserve better, you know that right?” he whispered against your lips, his voice cracking with the weight of his despair. His words were almost inaudible, but you could hear the deep sorrow and regret in his tone, a desperate cry for help that you could do nothing to answer.
“I love you!” you shouted, your voice breaking as you tried to cling to the last remnants of this moment. The words were a lifeline, a final declaration of the love you both shared. The look of agony on his face as he was torn away from you was almost more than you could bear, the sadness etched into every feature a mirror of your own.
Touya looked back at you, his gaze a mixture of fierce love and unbearable sadness. “I love you too,” he rasped, his voice rough and laden with emotion. 
As the guards dragged him away, his gaze remained fixed on you, a burning intensity in his eyes that spoke of the depth of his feelings. The last thing you saw before the doors closed was the look in his eyes—raw, unfiltered emotion that mirrored your own. The courtroom’s harsh reality settled around you, but all you could focus on was the echo of his voice and the fading warmth of his kiss. You stood there, your lips still tingling from the intensity of his kiss, your heart aching with the depth of your loss.
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As the crowd slowly dissipated and the room began to empty, you remained rooted to the spot, tears streaming down your face. The overwhelming silence of the courtroom was a cruel echo of the love you had just lost, a constant reminder of the emptiness left by his absence. Each step you took toward the exit felt like a mile, each breath you took a struggle against the crushing weight of your grief. The world outside seemed distant and surreal, a stark contrast to the emotional storm that raged within you.
Shoto was at your side in an instant, his hand firmly resting on your shoulder as he gently guided you away from the courtroom. The corridor outside was a chaotic swirl of reporters, their questions and flashes of cameras relentless in their pursuit. The cacophony of voices seemed distant, almost surreal, as if you were submerged in a sea of white noise. Your mind was numb, trapped in the echo of Dabi’s final moments, and the world beyond that room felt hollow and unrecognizable.
“Miss, how do you feel about Todoroki Touya’s sentence?”
“Why do you keep avoiding us? — are you standing beside him?”
“Was your relationship with Todoroki Touya really as deep as they say?”
Each question pierced through you like an arrow, the sharp barbs of their curiosity aggravating the raw wound in your heart. The name Todoroki Touya, the name you had clung to in the silence of your love, now felt like a dagger twisting in your chest.
Shoto moved with a protective fierceness, his usually composed demeanor cracking under the strain of the moment. “Back off!” he shouted, his voice cracking with the force of his command. “All of you back off!”
Despite his efforts, the throng of reporters pressed in, their intrusive questions a relentless assault on your already fragile state. The weight of their scrutiny felt suffocating, each question a fresh cut to the wound left by Touya’s departure. Tears welled up in your eyes, blurring your vision and making it hard to breathe through the rising tide of panic and despair.
Shoto’s concern was immediate and palpable. His arm wrapped around your shoulders, guiding you swiftly toward the waiting car. “Come on, let’s get out of here,” he said softly, his voice steady but laced with a deep concern that mirrored the ache in your own heart.
The moment the car door closed behind you, you collapsed into the seat, your chest heaving with the effort to keep your sobs contained. Shoto settled beside you, his hand gently rubbing soothing circles on your back as you succumbed to the overwhelming grief. His touch was a small comfort amid the sea of anguish that threatened to drown you.
“I can’t live without him,” you choked out between sobs, your hands trembling as you pressed them to your chest. “He was everything to me, Shoto… I don’t know how to keep going without him.”
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Shoto’s grip tightened, his own heart breaking at the sight of your pain. “I know… I know it hurts,” he murmured, his voice a gentle anchor in the storm of your emotions. “No matter what happens from here on out I would be beside you— I would do whatever it takes to get the both of you together for as long as possible…you just have to bear with this for now” 
The drive home was a blur of muted colors and blurred lights, the world outside the window merging into a haze of despair. You barely registered the movement of the car, your mind still trapped in the courtroom’s crushing weight, replaying every agonizing moment. Touya’s kiss, so fervent and desperate, was a fading echo in your memory, the touch of his lips now a ghostly warmth against your own.
When you finally stepped through the door of your apartment, the silence was overwhelming, a stark contrast to the chaotic noise of the courtroom. The space, once a sanctuary filled with shared moments and laughter, now felt like an empty shell—a hollow reminder of the love that had been so brutally torn away. The walls seemed to close in on you, the emptiness amplifying the ache in your heart.
Shoto stood in the doorway, his expression a mixture of concern and helplessness. “I’m going to stay nearby tonight, alright? You don’t have to go through this alone. I’ll be here when you need me.”
You nodded numbly, your movements mechanical as you made your way toward the bedroom. Shoto’s gaze lingered on you, a silent testament to his worry, but you couldn’t bring yourself to meet his eyes. The weight of your grief was a suffocating cloak, one that you couldn’t bear to share, even with someone as compassionate as Shoto.
Once you were alone, you collapsed onto the bed, the sheets still faintly imbued with the scent of Touya. Clutching the fabric to your chest, you inhaled deeply, seeking solace in the last remnants of his presence. But the comfort was fleeting, a cruel mockery of the warmth that used to fill your life. The harder you tried to hold on, the more those memories slipped through your fingers like grains of sand. His scent, once so potent, was fading, replaced by the cold sterility of your apartment. The feeling of his touch, the warmth of his body beside yours, was now just a distant memory, barely more than a ghost.
As you lay there, staring at the ceiling, a soft memory floated up from the depths of your mind. You remembered a day when Touya had come over for a surprise visit. You had been lounging around the apartment, feeling a little down, when he burst in with a playful grin.
“Guess who’s here?” he’d teased, his voice full of mischief.
You had looked up in surprise, and his grin had widened. “Touya, what are you doing here?”
He had sauntered over, taking your hand and pressing a kiss to your knuckles. “What? I can't drop by my own girls house?...you wound me, sweetheart. How about a kiss to seal the deal?”
You had laughed, shaking your head. “And how is that supposed to help?”
With a dramatic flourish, he leaned in and pressed his lips gently against yours, his kiss light and teasing. “See? Instant mood boost,” he’d said, pulling back with a satisfied smirk.
You had felt a warm flush spread across your cheeks, your heart fluttering at the affection he had showered on you. He had cupped your face in his hands, his eyes twinkling with playful affection. “Still think I’m a bad influence?”
Before you could answer, he had leaned in again, his kiss deeper this time, filled with a tenderness that made you melt. His lips had moved against yours with a sweet, lingering touch, his breath mingling with yours as if he was trying to savor every moment.
As the memory faded, you found yourself reaching up to touch your lips, trying to hold onto whatever was left of him. The warmth of his kiss lingered on your fingertips, a fragile reminder of the love you had shared. You pressed your fingers gently against your lips, whispering into the emptiness of the room, “Don’t let go of me.”
The only response was the echo of your own voice, bouncing back at you in the silence. And as your eyes drifted shut, the last thing you saw was his smile, the one that always made your heart skip a beat. The one that promised, no matter what, he was never truly gone.
Because as long as you remembered him, as long as you held onto the love you shared, he would always be with you—in the softness of his kisses, in the teasing banter, in the echoes of the dark.
The tears came again, relentless and all-consuming. You buried your face in the pillow, muffling your sobs against the softness of the fabric. Every sound, every memory, seemed to dissolve into the void of your grief. His voice, his touch, were slipping away, becoming distant echoes in the vast emptiness of your heart.
“You deserve better, you know that right?,” his words reverberated in your mind, a cruel reminder of the reality you had to face. It felt like a punch to the gut, a cruel twist of the knife.
But how could you move on? How could you erase the only person who had ever made you feel truly alive, who had ignited a fire in your soul that now left you cold and empty? The pain of losing him was more than just heartache; it was an unbearable void, a chasm of loneliness that seemed to swallow everything in its path.
Your fingers fumbled through the closet, seeking some tangible piece of him. You found one of his shirts, the fabric worn and comforting. Pulling it out, you clutched it to your chest, the scent of his cologne a bittersweet reminder of the man you loved. It enveloped you, a ghostly whisper of what once was, mingling with the tears that streaked your face.
“I miss you so much,” you whispered into the darkness, your voice trembling and breaking as you cried. The words were a desperate plea to the empty room, a final declaration of love to a presence that now only existed in memory.
In the oppressive silence that followed, with the weight of the world pressing down on you, you held onto his memory like a lifeline. The ache in your chest was a constant companion, a reminder of the love that had burned so fiercely and was now reduced to ashes.
As you lay there, trying to find some semblance of peace in the quiet of the night, you clung to the fragments of him that lingered in your heart. You hoped that somehow, amidst the crushing despair, you would find a way to navigate this overwhelming pain. But for now, all you could do was hold onto his memory, let it lull you into a fitful sleep, and dream of a world where love didn’t end in sorrow, where time hadn’t been stolen away so cruelly.
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Jesus christ this is the longest fic I have ever released so far ...damn ...
147 notes · View notes
niiine · 2 years
Text
𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄
Character(s). Xiao x GN!Reader, Scaramouche x GN!Reader, mentions of Nahida in Scaramouche’s part.
Synopsis. On moments that all they could think of was that they’re not deserving of your love, how will you tell them that they are?
A bit of angst but Fluff overall.
 Self-sabotaging Xiao, Harsh and mean Scara
MILD cursing, NOT PROOF READ
Soft Chars. They deserve the whole world.
Feeling so longing lately for these two because I keep seeing edits of them on Tiktok 😫 GIVE THEM TO ME AND I’LL SHOW THEM WHAT LOVE IS. COME ON! 
Xiao
It’s the sixth time this week. Sixth time that you have called out his name and yet he’s nowhere to be found. Not once did he miss your calls before, and he makes sure that you’re well aware if he will be off to a long mission before disappearing for days, that’s why you’re worried sick for the yaksha.
But he’s always there. On the roofs, above the cliffs, behind the trees— he’s there upon seconds of your every call, making sure that you’re alright and not in any grave danger. He promised that he will be there at the moment you utter his name, and he will be, trust me. Just not before your eyes.
He’s decided to put an end to whatever it is in between the two of you. The relationship that you’ve been saying in the past few months is just an excuse for him to indulge in your touch and comfort, an excuse for him to see you everyday without guilt and longing. It doesn’t benefit you, it’s only for his own good to hold and look at you in short distance. At least that’s what he thought, because there’s nothing good when it comes to him, and you? You’re everything to him. 2,000 years of fighting and killing, and yet only now he’s glad for his skills because he can protect you.
And that is why he’s gonna keep you away from his selfish desires. He can’t let his karmic debt corrupt you, he can’t let the danger that lingers in his life reach out to harm you, he can’t be the reason why you’re hurt. Xiao will not let it happen.
But so will you. You’ve asked Verr Goldet one afternoon about your lovers whereabouts, and she told you that he’s been coming home late than usual this past days, as if avoiding an interaction with anyone, as if avoiding interaction with you. No, you’re not going to let it slide. If he’s not in love with you anymore, then you at least deserve an explanation, right?
Xiao didn’t expect you to be there, sitting at his bed, in the dead of the night. Eyes piecing his golden ones the moment he entered the room. He wanted to teleport out, to go anywhere without you because no, he can’t lose his resolve now. But he can’t even move an inch, mesmerized by your gaze. Archons, he knows that if you open your arms and call out to him, he will crash into you. Millenia of strengthening and hardening his heart only to be crushed down by a second of your hug. Unfair.
“What are you doing?” you broke the silence first, giving him a chance to say what you want to hear, that he’s just busy and he will not abandon you. But of course, the universe find it lovely to hear shattered hearts echoing.
“You’re not supposed to be here” the adeptus muttered, averting his gaze anywhere but you. Scared that you will see how happy he is to see you eye to eye.
Your heart tugged; tears threaten to fall. Oh, so he’s done with you now?
Head hung low, eyes dedicated to the floor you whispered your acknowledgement. Remorse, regret, and even a bit of hate plays in your voice “Fine. I guess I shouldn’t have bothered knowing you in the first place. I hate falling in love with you.”
You should’ve have seen how fast his head whipped at you. Eyes tender and glistening. No, please don’t say that. Getting to know you is the best thing that has ever happened to him all throughout his ridiculously long life, and to hear that you regret it? His heart rampaged in his chest, and he can feel his hands shaking at the thought of not knowing you.
You steal a glance at him for one last time, and what you saw added turmoil to your now chaotic emotions.
If he doesn’t want you anymore, then why the fuck is he crying? His porcelain face, so gentle yet stoic, now adorned with tears that reached his chin. Mouth slightly agape as if words are aching to spill out, and his eyes, looking at you and begging. But begging for what?  
You can feel your chest tightening a bit more, and you think of the only that could make the both of you alright.
“Xiao,” you dragged your feet towards his direction, arms reaching out to catch his neck, placing his head in the crook of yours “Why are you doing this?”
You heard him whimpered, his own arms finding its way around your waist. Ahh, he hates the fact that he’s melting into your touch again. How come that he’s an adeptus and you’re a mortal and yet you have this power over him?
“I don’t deserve you,” He started as you rubbed his back, easing the tense muscles. He missed this, he missed you. “I’m not deserving of whatever you’re giving me, of everything you’re giving me.”
You lifted his head and cupped his cheeks, staring straight right through his misty orbs.
“Listen to me—you can take my life, my love. You can take everything from me, and my only complaint is that I’m not enough.”
He shook his head, attempting to disagree, but you beat him to it.
“I love you. And I know I’m selfish but I want to spend my punny lifetime with you. Please, let me.”
Warmth spreads through his body as he heard your words. Warmth that’s always present whenever you’re around, And as you seal the night with a passionate kiss, he knows that this feeling will be stronger that anything else from now on.
Scaramouche
“What are they doing here?” The way the lad before you sneered as he asks the Dedro Archon made your stomach drop a little. Now, you aren’t one of the softs, you wouldn’t be able to date the Wanderer if you are, but the way he looks at you makes your knees buckle and your eyes a bit misty.
“Now, now, Wanderer. They’ve taken the trouble to come and visit you. Please drop the mean.” Nahida reprimanded him, of which he returned with a tsk. The former then turned towards you and bid you a gentle goodbye, hoping that whatever you’re planning will work because she herself can’t take it anymore how the Wanderer being extra mean for the past few days.
And now, you’re left alone with the said mean guy. He’s looking at you as if disgusted by the sight, lips in a frown and eyes sharp. “What do you need?” His question came out icier than expected, earning a flinch from you. He regrets the action right away but kept his composure. He can’t lose it now after enduring it for weeks.
“You haven’t gone home for a while now. I just visit to see if you’re doing good.” You offered him a sheepish smile. He hates it, that’s not how you smile, that’s not how you should smile.
“Now that you’ve seen me doing good—better than ever, you may leave.”
You let out a dry laugh and attempted to joke about his particularly harsh words, but his next words irked something within you.
“Seriously (y/n). Your presence irritates me” he doesn’t mean it, of course. Oh, archons your presence is heaven to him. Everything is just better, if not perfect, if you’re around. Mellifluous, light, comforting—and that’s the more reason he has to distance himself from you. He can’t afford tainting every good thing in you.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” You exclaim seems to have taken him aback because he was silent for a moment, before returning your anguish with his own.
“My problem is you. You’re always clinging to me, going after me. You keep on nagging me. What? Can’t leave without a man now, (y/n)?” Now it was your turn to be shocked, you didn’t know that this is the way he feels about you, a baggage, a burden.
The hurt is vivid in your eyes, and heavens he felt like dying right there. Scara swiftly combed his indigo locks in frustration. He wanted to take it back, to tell you that it’s a lie, that he loves everything you do to him. The way you reach out to him every day, the way you call out his name even on trivial matters, the way you dotes on his necessities. But this is a must, so he doesn’t end up hurting you in the future.
He would rather see you happy and contented in the arms of someone else rather hurt in his. Although the thought alone sent him grasping for air.
“You’re so fucking selfish.” You turned to him, eyes going from hurt to a touch of hate. His chest tightens at the sight of tears streaming down your face. No, no, no. This isn’t supposed to happen. You should be happy; He’s doing this for you to be happy. So why in hell are you calling him selfish? At what part is he selfish?
“Shut up!” he roared, indigo orbs piercing to what’s already broken. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. You don’t know how much I’m working hard for you!”
“You’re working hard for me? This is you working hard for me? You’re blind! You’re blind and you're selfish!”
There’s an exchange of a few screams here and there. Both of you are hurt and broken because he decided that it is better to keep things to himself, thinking that it’ll only hurt him and not you. You’re not thinking straight as well. Yelling your heart out, hoping that it’ll wake up your lover, that he’ll realize that he’s so wrong for trying to dump you like shit.
Until he let go of that one phrase you always hear him say on random moments.
“I don’t deserve you!”
Now, the best thing to do in this moment is to hug him, reassure him that he’s wrong. But it only added to your anger; but it’s something more than Scaramouche has seen before.
Your tear-stained face contorts in an uncontrollable sob, but veins pulsating in your tender arms. Your shouting in between hiccups and he hates himself for putting you in such form, though he can’t say anything about it as he was silenced by your outburst.
“Shut up! Shut the fuck up!”
“I keep telling you, why don’t you ever believe me? What? You think you’re so high and mighty that you can’t listen to me? Your partner?” you paused a little, taking in the surprised look on his face. He’s so beautiful, you thought.
“You deserve me. You deserve me, my love, my everything! You deserve the world and more! And I hate you. I hate so much for thinking otherwise!”
Your knees failed you and you drop to the ground, crying. Hurt at the thought that the man you love the most thinks that it’ll be better for you if you’re not with him.
The man crouched down at your height, taking you in his arms and muttering strings of apologies. His own eyes now watery, regret filling his form at the memory of what he has done to you.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“If you are, then please don’t do this again.”
You craned your neck to see his eyes. The love and affection once again present, with a hint of guilt as he caress your red cheeks. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Scara. You’re the only best thing in my life.”
Your words shook his world. It’s better than any I love yous you’ve said before, before than anything else. How idiotic of him to think such things, how lowly of him to hurt you— his life, the one whom he swore loyalty to.
“I won’t. I promise. You have my life in your arms, love.”
He planted a soft kiss on your forehead. Determined to make it up to you and show you his love, because you’ve done more than that to him.
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qu1cks1lversb1tch · 2 months
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You | Lute x Redeemed!Sinner
Warnings: post season one by two months BUT Adam miraculously survived, Lute was able to get her arm regrown by some divine intervention, Lute being a bitch 97% of the time, Adam being Adam, reader being a sweetheart, strong language, some derogatory nicknames towards sinners, reader is HEAVILY implied to be a bisexual (real queen shit), WxW, probably very out of character for both Lute and Adam — but I've never written for either of them before ✨
Word Count: 3.2K
Summary: you were a redeemed sinner, yet Lute still hated you. . . Though soon, things would change for the better.
A/N — Silva is Latin for Forest *** (I know, I'm so creative). The sick meal is something I love even when I'm not sick, but feel free to imagine whatever you want for it :) but remember: ALWAYS WASH YOUR RICE
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The sky brightened, bringing along with it the dawn of your first day in Heaven. Having been a long time resident of the Hazbin Hotel, you were as skeptical as the others, but played your part in wanting Charlie's dreams to come true. 
You were the first official resident, though more of an employee by the time Angel Dust came around, and a friend — a damned good one — to anyone who came through those doors. 
It didn't matter who they were. Whether it was Alastor, Husk, or even Lucifer himself, it didn't matter. You were an excellent listener.
Perhaps that was part of the reason you had been redeemed. 
It was possible that the other part of the reason why was because you regretted your singular act of immoral wrath when you were alive and you thought about it every day. 
You had walked the straight and narrow your entire life — married young and planned on having children once you were out of college and had a stable job. . . Then your husband cheated on you with his co-worker and it was as if you were possessed by blind rage. You killed him. 
You didn't kill her — she didn't know you existed, so you let her live. . . Then she found out of your existence rather quickly and karma came in the form of a pissed off woman wearing cheap perfume and fake red bottoms. 
So you crash landed into Hell immediately. No trial in purgatory. Straight into the melting pot of horrendous historical figures that you had been forced to write essays about in High School and people like you, who did one wrong thing. 
Watching the sun rise for the first time in almost ten years, you supposed you owed it all to Charlie. Having her as a supportive friend throughout your stay. 
First to arrive, second to be redeemed. 
The halo and wings were an odd feeling compared to the horns and sharp tail. . . As well as the white, light blue, and gold version of the outfit you were wearing when you ascended. Odd but welcomed. 
“Thank you.” You whispered aloud, sitting on the dock behind the building you had been guided to upon your arrival just hours before, surrounded by the water that was completely unaffected by murkiness or toxic waste. It was the cleanest water you'd ever seen. 
Wind chimes sang in the breeze that slightly rippled the top of the vast lake, distorting the reflected pinks and yellows of the golden sunrise. 
Voices drew closer, yet they didn't matter as the air warmed comfortably, the sun rising higher and higher in the blue sky. 
It was nice seeing blue instead of red. It felt human. It felt calm. 
“[Y/N]?” A voice called out and you turned around to face the newcomer. 
A smile broke out on your face as you came to see Sera with Sir Pentious and Emily at her side. The younger seraphim was buzzing with excitement. 
You carefully stood so as to not fall into the lake, approaching them slowly. “It's good to see you again, Pentious.” You said, hugging the former snake demon. 
He returned the quick embrace and blushed, just like he did when you were both in Hell. You and Charlie were the first to give him a chance. “You too missss [Y/N]. . .” 
You smiled at him once again before turning to Emily, who seemed to be the one temporarily in charge. “Welcome to Heaven! There's so much for you to see and do! But first, do you have any questions?”
“Where exactly in Heaven are we?” You questioned, gesturing to the lake with trees to either side, but with water for as far as you could see. 
“You're at the Silva Lake house.” Sera spoke up. “It was built when Sir Pentious arrived, as a way to prepare him for the eyes of the other angels who never set foot in Hell. . . As well as a potential sanctuary for any other sinners who may be redeemed along the way, such as yourself.”
A sanctuary for the redeemed made perfect sense when you thought about it. Heaven had to do something to not only make up for the mistake in leadership that led to the annual Extermination Day, but they couldn't just throw former sinners into society without getting them used to the new conditions. 
It would be like bringing a knife to a gunfight. . . They'd be ill prepared and it wouldn't look good for anyone, especially the higher-ups. 
“So, what do we have to do?” 
This time it was Emily who replied to you. “Just be here and show us that you have no problem learning how things work up here. . . It's not too complicated, but there are a few new rules in place after recent events. . . But don't worry! I'm sure you'll both be fine!” She smiled brightly, clapping her hands together. 
You could only hope everything would be alright.
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Two weeks after your arrival, you had begun to think that you could handle the new realm in which you resided. 
At the Silva Lake house, you had a set routine which consisted of a lovely breakfast with Sir Pentious in the breakfast nook, morning lessons with Emily, a silent nature stroll with Sera, a trip to the city — just barely inside the limits — purely so you could see what you'd eventually be joining, and dinners alone because Sir Pentious was allowed to stay in the city longer than you and go further because he had been there longer.
It was nice to have a schedule, but having the same one every day was beginning to bore you. At least Charlie's schedules had made room for stuff outside of trust exercises. . . Stuff like hotel movie nights, family dinners, and fun outings. 
Two weeks and you thought you were ready. A five minute meeting was all it took for that false sense of readiness to fly out the window. 
One look in the golden eyes of the woman who would've killed you less than three months ago, had it not been for Vaggie stepping in, was enough to make you feel as if your leg was still stuck under the burning pile of rubble with an angelic blade mere inches away from your throat. 
The pain and any physical indication of it happening was long gone, but the memory was still there as if it had just happened moments ago. 
Yet you still regarded her as if she was an inhabitant of the hotel — with a smile and an open mind. 
Your welcoming smile was met with a glare of disdain from the exorcist angel, who looked as if she'd try to kill you again if you so much as breathed wrong in her direction. 
Shockingly, Adam, who had been uncharacteristically quiet during the whole meeting, was more open to conversing with you than Lute was. This was all part of Heaven's new plan. 
Forgiveness. 
Sera wanted you to forgive Lute for the part she played in almost killing you and your friends. 
She wanted Sir Pentious to forgive Adam for ‘killing’ him during the battle. 
And she wanted them to forgive the both of you for the roles played in the battle, despite you avoiding the battle where you could. 
“I sincerely apologize for the role I played in the battle that cost you many angels.” You said, catching Emily giving you two thumbs up from behind the two. 
“Now, Lute. . . Apologize to her.” Sera ordered lightly. 
The exorcist crossed her arms. “No. Why should I have to apologize to a lowly sinner?” She scoffed. “Not happening.”
You frowned. Lowly sinner? Ouch. . . 
“She is redeemed, Lute —”
“Is she? She looks the same. A wardrobe makeover doesn't change who someone is. And she practically reeks of Hell.” Lute turned her nose up at you. 
“I think that's enough for this evening, Sera. . . Adam, Lute. . . I apologize once again and hope you can find it within your hearts to forgive me.” You then turned away and walked towards your room.
“Sure thing, Bitch!” Adam called out just before your bedroom door closed roughly with a click. 
Lowly sinner? Reeking of Hell? 
The words stung. . . You should be mad, or even mildly frustrated. . . But you're more disappointed. Even when Adam, Lute, and the other exorcists were attacking your friends, you had been nice. . . But they didn't seem to care. It felt like you were redeemed for nothing. 
So you laid on your bed in silence, with tears unwillingly cascading down your cheeks, until your usual dinner time rolled around and Emily coaxed you out before she and Sera left. 
As you warmed up a prepped meal, you noticed that Adam and Lute were still there at the lake house, though neither paid any mind to you. Not while you milled about the kitchen. Not while you ate. 
The only time they paid any attention to you was when you walked across the far side of the living room to reach the bathroom for your evening shower. Even then, Lute only glared while Adam made derogatory comments about joining you in the shower. 
You ignored both of them, and when you came out of the bathroom, they were no longer in the living room, so you assumed they left. 
It became evident just hours later that they, in fact, hadn't left. The dead giveaway was the loud rock music that played from the TV in the living room, during a time you knew Sir Pentious was asleep — and the former snake demon didn't care for rock all that much. He was more of a classical music guy, but he could also get behind r&b. 
And you knew with the time, Sera and Emily wouldn't be around for another four hours.
You wanted to ignore it. Oh you tried so hard to ignore it, going as far as to cover your head with one of your pillows. . . But you could still hear it. And now you couldn't fall back asleep. 
Trying was pointless. 
Your morning started two hours earlier than it usually did, which unironically gave you time to do things that you couldn't do with the tight schedule. . . Like having morning coffee by the lake as the sun rose, breakfast that wasn't cereal or freezer waffles, or even a nice little swim with a shower after.
“What the fuck, dude?” You heard Adam's tired voice yell from the opposite side of the lake house, the music immediately muting. 
Lute's more awake voice could be heard through the walls, but you were unable to make out anything she was saying. . . So you sighed and went on to make a nice breakfast, in hopes it would help set the mood for the day. 
A good mood for a good day — hopefully. 
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Adam and Lute weren't allowed to leave until all was forgiven and peace was made between the four of you. Orders from the almighty creator who hadn't taken too kindly to Sera, Lute, and Adam attempting to play God in his absence. 
What shocked you the most was Emily canceling lessons for the foreseeable future, purely because she could, saying ‘you've been at this for a while, you deserve a break so you're not burnt out’.
It was almost laughable. 
After the disruptive morning of rock n’ roll, you went back to the regular schedule for the most part. . . But before you knew it, you had been in Heaven for a month and your limits were being tested. 
Your food had gone missing from the fridge. 
Your laundry had gotten mixed up, despite being separated by your hand. . . Which resulted in two of your brand new favorite shirts to shrink in the dryer — you still wore them anyway.
Things you set down were never where you placed them. 
At first it drove you crazy — you thought you were losing your mind. Until Sir Pentious had come to you one late evening and revealed something he noticed. 
Lute had been either eating your food or throwing it away. 
Lute had been the one switching your laundry around. 
Lute had been the one moving everything you set down. 
You couldn't understand why someone would go to such lengths to inconvenience you when you had been so accommodating for the both of them. . . So you ignored her. 
And it pissed her off. 
How dare you ignore her existence while she was cursing yours? 
One evening, you were making a nice, hearty meal because you and Sir Pentious had fallen victim to the early autumn allergy fueled cold. It was something your parents would've made whenever you were feeling under the weather — you were just glad the ingredients were in the house. 
Adam entered the kitchen without his mask and opened the fridge as you were opening the cabinet that was filled with bowls and plates. 
“Whatcha makin’, Hot Stuff?” Adam questioned, closing the fridge. 
You glanced at him confused before opting to reply, rather than questioning anything he called you. At least he wasn't calling you sinner scum. 
“Dinner.” You croaked in reply, using a pot holder to lift the lid off of the large pan where thinly sliced and seasoned steak was simmering in a homemade mushroom gravy. You then gestured to the pot of fluffy white rice next to the pan of cauliflower. (Again, it's one of my favorites — so delicious.)
“There's plenty for you and Lute to join us, if you'd like to.” You almost lost your voice by the end of the sentence, but the first man heard you. 
“Yeah, okay. . . It looks more edible than that shit in the freezer — whatever the fuck that is.”
You would've laughed if you knew you wouldn't have landed yourself in a coughing fit. So you settled for a smile as you plated up the food. 
“It looks disgusting.” Lute sneered from the doorway. 
Immediately, your smile dropped and your fork clattered onto the wooden table. “Then don't eat it.” You snapped, taking your seat as Sir Pentious slithered into the kitchen. 
“This shit looks good as fuck, Danger Tits.” Adam shoved a fork full of steak in his mouth and released a downright sinful moan. “You're missin’ out.”
Sir Pentious nodded in agreement, eating what was on his plate relatively quickly. You appreciated Adam and Pentious trying to make things better, even if Adam was using his own way to make it seem so. . .
But you were slowly losing your patience, which became evident by the way you verbally snapped.
Lute didn't speak to you — or rather speak down to you for a few days, but she lingered while Adam got to know you better. . . She seemed rather put off with how things were going. 
Like how when you couldn't reach something, completely uncomfortable with using your new wings, Adam would grab it without stopping whatever conversation was going on. 
Or when he'd offer to make dinner (or buy dinner for everyone) just so you could have a break. 
Or even now when you were draping your towel over a chair on the back deck, prior to your swim in the lake, and he happened to be out there in the sun. You heard him mention something about you being ‘hot as fuck’ in your swimsuit, but you mostly ignored him, aside from a light blush dusting your cheeks. 
From him, she learned your favorite color, your favorite animal, your favorite everything, basically. . . And when your eyes found Lute, she was glaring at Adam, not you, for once. 
Rather than questioning it, you accepted it and found your way into the lake where eventually, they both joined you at a distance. You felt oddly alone, since Sir Pentious had decided to stay in — he still wasn't feeling the best, so you urged him to rest, claiming you'd be fine. 
Lute seemed to be attempting to drown Adam and he took it in a playful way, yelling and laughing loudly while she splashed him and jumped on top of him — something that seemed out of character for her. 
Though they both soon went underwater and just as you decided you were ready to go in, you were pulled under and came face to face with Lute. Your eyes widened as your heart beat rapidly in your chest. 
She wasn't glaring at you. . . There was no animosity behind her gaze, her hands locked onto your arms. She smirked after what felt like an eternity and pulled you back up to the surface with her. 
“Stay away from her, Adam.” Lute practically growled, holding you close. 
This was odd. It felt so wrong, but it felt so right having her arms wrapped around your waist. She hadn't touched you until then, so you weren't sure what to make of the situation.
“So you finally —”
“Shut up!”
Adam only smirked and shot out of the water, going to dry off on the deck. 
“I suppose we need to talk?” You questioned softly. 
Lute nodded and released her hold on you so that the two of you could reach the deck once more. 
You sat in the chair that Adam had previously occupied and she turned one to face you, taking a seat there. She stayed silent for a few minutes, watching you dry your hair and wrap your towel around your shoulders. 
Lute then took another moment to admire the way the late morning light caught on your face, before she spoke. 
“I was wrong about you. . . There's sinners who don't deserve good things and then there's you. . . I — you. . . You've proven yourself and. . . I'm sorry for how things have been since I showed up.”
You smiled at the apology, finally looking into her golden eyes. “You're forgiven. . . But if I might ask. . . Why did you hate me so much?” 
She became nervous, you could see it. 
“I thought you might be as bad as the regular sinners — I know what you did when you were alive and I know that's why you went to Hell. . . But these last few weeks showed me why you wound up here.” Something akin to adoration laced her tone and you blushed under her gaze. 
It was such a quick change. . . But it seemed like a good one. It seemed like common knowledge that she wasn't the greatest at expressing emotions, having been so deep in her work for the longest time.
Before you could open your mouth to reply, your heart bursted as a new sensation graced you — Lute's lips on yours. You felt your heartbeat quicken once again and your face heated up violently. 
She pulled away a moment later, stuttering out an apology. 
“I shouldn't have — hmph!” 
You immediately shut her up with another quick kiss before leaving a sweet peck on her cheek once you had removed your lips from hers. “I didn't mind. . . If this has the chance of becoming something, I want there to be communication. . . If you're okay with that. . ?”
“That's fine. . . [Y/N]?”
“Hmm?”
“We forgive you. . . I forgive you.”
You grinned and stood from your seat, reaching your hand out for Lute. “Wonderful. . . How about some lunch?” 
She snorted and shook her head, but still stood and took your hand, allowing you to guide her into the lake house for lunch. 
She sat beside you while everyone ate, shutting Adam down the moment he looked like he was going to open his mouth and say something stupid — which was often. 
You were happy and hopeful. Maybe this could grow into something beautiful. . . Maybe this could be your forever relationship. 
Just maybe. 
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Additional A/N — if anyone wants the Fem!Redeemed!Sinner x Lute story to continue, requests are open! Give me ideas!
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sidthedollface2 · 7 months
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A Crown fit for a God
(Part 2 here)
Pairing: Azriel x Fem Reader
Summary: An enemy threatens Velaris leaving Azriel to choose between his found family and a long lost friend. Can he juggle the two or will he fall for the enemy?
word count: 2.6k
Series warnings: 18+ MDNI, angst, hurt/comfort,light smut, war, including injuries, fighting, sign language, no use of y/n, nicknames, magic, greek mythology, pining, jealousy, azriel with other women (sorry), reader with another man (get it friend ; )
A/n: I'm a daydreamer not a writer so if you see any mistakes that's how I dreamt it. Lol
Azriel sat at his desk, reports and sightings of a hooded being trespassing multiple courts, leaving behind scorched farm lands and destroyed buildings scattered across the table. “Any luck?” Elain questioned, running her gentle hands over Azriel's shoulders, loosening his tense muscles. “I’ve been searching for over 500 years, but I think I'm getting close. Most recent sightings have been by women and children. Day or night it does not matter, they've seen IT and their bodies remain still, unable to move or scream until their work is done.” Azriel stared at the map of Prythian. “I think it’s finally here,” he met Elains worried eyes, “in the Night Court.” 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Azriel 8 yrs old
Azriel stopped sobbing once he knew no one would come for him. The foul smell of char and burnt flesh still lingered in his cell. His small hands trembled and shook from the intense pain, bubbles full of fluid and blackened skin covered both hands. Fingers locked and unable to move, not even to wipe at his heavy tears. The four walls to his cell provided nothing but cold nights and loneliness. With nothing to soothe the heat from his hands Azriel pressed his blistered palms flat to the cold floors. Hissing through clenched teeth as the coldness relieved some of the ache and heat within. Azriel hummed to a song inside his head, anything to pull his tired mind away from the pain and hopelessness he felt. With his eyes squeezed shut he tried to will the tears away, humming louder and louder to drown out his thoughts. His mind circled to a happier time. 
Small feet padding through fields of tall grass as he raced to his favorite spot; under a weeping willow. Perched against the tall tree the scent of fresh apples and citrus filled his nose as the wind carried the delicious scent towards him. His ears caught the melodious song of birds high above him. His gaze tracked up the tree to spot the feathered songbird but as soon as he craned his neck towards the sky time froze. A beautiful luna moth with large iridescent wings took flight, landing on the soft skin of Azriel’s cheek, tickling the small boy awake.
Azriel quickly opened his eyes, blinking rapidly in the darkness. The scent of citrus still lingered and time was eerily still. His pupils widened, adjusting to focus on what he was seeing. In the corner of his cell a shadowed figure stood still. Scrambling to his feet Azriel backed himself into the wall behind him. The dark figure inched closer, slowly, step by step. The hooded figure reached for Azriel's small hand. He told his mind to pull away, and to resist. But he was frozen against the cold wall, unable to move or cry out for help; not that anyone would help him. He tried to scream but the air left his lungs. Peeking beneath a hood Azriel saw the most stunning and captivating eyes he’d ever seen. Neither of the same color, yet bright and brilliant. One holds the color of the night sky, dark with swirls of violet and starlight. The other is pale and cloudy like the surface of the moon from Prythian. Your long shiny hair framed your youthful face and pouty lips perfectly. You don’t look much older than him yet you have this ancient presence he can't put his finger on.  
You're cool fingertips brush his knuckles, testing for his reaction. A small smile graces your lips as you remember that he’s unable to move. At least unable to move his outer extremities and vocal chords. Yet the windows to his soul tell you he's frightened. His wide hazel eyes are glassy, tears slowly filling his waterline. The rapid rise and fall in his chest is another clue to his distress. You let out a soft sigh as a single tear runs down his dirty cheek. Taking a step back you lay your palm flat against your chest, hoping he’ll understand what you intend to convey. Again, you pat your chest and azriel blinks in response. Bringing your hands in front of you, you tuck your fingers in creating a fist and curl both your forefingers and hook them together, with one wrist facing down and the other up you sign the word ‘Friend.’  
You wait for his breaths to slow before you gather his burned hand within yours. His knuckles are angry and reddened from the lack of healthy skin. Moderate pieces are blackened and multiple blisters are threatening to burst.  Carefully, you examine the extensive damage that was done, and begin to call upon your magic. Azriel's eyes widen to the size of saucers when your fingertips spark with what looks like stardust and your hand turns completely black from your fingertips down to your wrist. You gently run your star glittered forefinger down his. Starting at the base of his knuckle to the tip of his finger, healing all the delicate tissue and epidermis just like it was before. You release the magic holding him still, allowing him to relax his shoulders and curl the finger you healed. “How did-” the words die in his mouth as you continue to work on the next finger. Tracing once again from the base of his knuckle, down his slender finger to his nail. Revealing smooth and supple skin, no longer burned and charred.
The loud sound of a door opening startled both of you apart. Stopping your healing magic at only two fingers, Azriels paniced eyes met yours. You knew what he was asking. But you couldn't grant him more time, at least not yet. Quickly, you pulled your hood up over your head. Closing your hand in a fist you brought it to your chest, moving it in a circular motion; signing the word ‘sorry.’ 
“Wait!” Azriel’s arms dart out grasping onto the sleeve of your cloak only for the garment to fall at a pile to his feet. “Mother!” he gasped, shocked at your sudden disappearance, leaving behind your cloak that still had warmth and your scent. 
He’d kept your cloak all these years, the only cloth in his cell that kept him warm on those freezing nights. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Az, something is breaching the wards, get down here. 
Rhys panicked words pierced through Azriel's mind as he abruptly sat up from the bed, the bed he shared with Elain. He quickly pulled his pants on, followed by his shirt and protective leathers. Placing a kiss to Elain's forehead, he winnowed to the location Rhys mentioned. 
An invisible force separated the three males from the dark figure that threatened Velaris. 
“Is It alone?” Cassian questioned, glancing behind and around the figure, assessing the intruder. His fingers itched at his sides, waiting for the slightest movement to unleash his blade. 
“She’s alone.” Rhys confirmed, gaze narrowed and unwavering at the dark figure. 
“She?” Both Cassian and Azriel said in unison, a look of shock on both their faces. It wasn’t that they doubted a female's ability. They knew the power that simmered beneath the skin. The unending strength, if provoked enough. The females in the inner circle, if combined, could take on males twice their size and fight wars alongside the bravest of warriors, but not alone. You’d have to be extremely powerful or extremely stupid to dare face the night court’s high lord alone.
Her gaze lifted above to the bright blue sky as if the power holding Velaris safe was visible to the eye. Her head swiveled left, noting how large the protection ran. Then to her right, gauging the amount of magic needed to breach the wards. At the moment, no army trailed behind her. No warrior or protector was by her side. She was simply there to send a message. 
“She’s unarmed.” Azriel's shadows slithered back to him, informing him of the lack of weapons and armor. She was defenseless and although a powerful barrier kept her out of Velaris, the two most violent and skilled warriors along with the most powerful highlord stood before her; she remained fearless. Her strong legs planted firm in the soil. It was difficult to determine what was under her dark cloak. His shadows stilled as her gaze met those of the shadowsinger. He knew those eyes. Azriel had searched for those beautiful eyes in every court, in every crowd, in every female. He’d dreamed of the day he’d see them again. His attention was directed to Rhys as he spoke in a firm demanding tone. 
“I will say this once, and only once-” 
Rhys' voice caught in his throat as the female's palms met the protective barrier. Electric current coursed through her veins, the power of lightning flickered from her fingers creating an orb of pure energy. Her foot dug into the soil behind her as she braced herself pushing through the wards, creating a space for her body to pass. All three males rushed towards her, charging at the enemy with bared teeth and blades ready to attack. Their large bulking frames and violence in their eyes was enough to bring grown men to their feet. 
Cassian sent a blast of red power straight towards her, expecting it to hit its target. Although stronger than most fae, his blast passed through her like a strong gust of wind. Whipping her head to its side, causing her long hair to flow out from under her hood. Her feet stayed planted, unwavering.
“Mother above.” Cassian breathed before he held his sword up high, slicing through the air as he brought it down over her head. Rhys' eyes widened for a fraction as Azriel’s truth teller clashed with Cassian, blocking his effort to harm her. Azriel’s shoulder roughly dug into Cassian's chest as he shoved his brother back with force. Betrayal laced in Cassian's eyes as he gaped at his brother. Out of all their arguments and bickering not once has Azriel disagreed with a common enemy. 
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Cassian sneered, meeting Azriels force with his own. Never one to back down at defending his court or his high lord. 
“You foolish boy!” Amren called from a distance, closing the space between them, “you cannot kill a God.” 
“Took you long enough,” Rhys tisked, plucking an invisible lint from his dark shirt. 
The hooded figure narrowed her eyes at the approaching Amren and scowled at the title that she clearly did not like. Azriel and Cassian ceased their bickering as Rhys' power shook the very ground they stood on, a wave of darkness ready to protect his city.
 “No one has breached these wards in 5,000 years.” Rhys declared with all the confidence of a high lord. Stepping forward, commanding the eyes of the hooded figure in a challenge, “what business does a God have in Velaris, surely you have better things to do.”
“Do not mock her, she can kill you where you stand.” Amren whispered. “As can I.” Rhys challenged. 
Her face remained unseen under the protection of her hood. Slowly her fingers came up beside her face, grasping the edges of the hood, she pushed the dark fabric over her head, revealing herself.
Amrens words ring true when the goddess reveals herself. Her beauty is unique and divine, flawless in the way that makes males fall to their knees. 
All the air from Azriels lungs vanished as he stared into those eyes. Years he’d been searching every court, reading countless books on healers and where they originated. Shamelessly making eye contact with each female he met hoping to one day find the mute girl who gave him purpose.  To hope one day he could thank her for her kindness to a boy who had nothing. 
“I’ve been looking for you.” Azriel exhaled, holding a palm out to Rhys and his brother letting them know ‘he’s got this.’ 
Your brows furrowed, and your eyes trailed down Azriels body. Trying your hardest to put a face or name to the male in front of you. After years of imagining how seeing you again would be, he didn't put into account the possibility of you not recognizing him. While Azriel admired how much you've grown since he first saw you. Your gaze seemed to pass right through him. And his worst fears were confirmed with a tilt of your head. 
You didn’t remember him. 
You couldn't recall any detail or encounter that would cause you to remember the male. Instead you focused your gaze on the High Lord. you were here to deliver a message after all. 
“High Lord of Night, ready your soldiers, a war is among you.” 
Surprise passed through Azriels eyes as he heard you speak. The day he met you your only form of communication was through hand signs. And now your voice is laced with threat, nothing like the gentle girl he met hundreds of years ago. He wonders what had changed.  
“And what do you bring to this war?” Rhys expression hardened. He tried to enter your mind to see for himself the truth of your words. Surprised to see your mind vulnerable for all, yet within the space were no visions or memories of your past, but  rings of blazing fire encircled a black hole with unknown knowledge within. Rhys had read about minds with black holes. It was a mystery as to what one would find within the hole. Some say time freezes for the observer, how long till it resumes has never been answered. Others say that if you fall into the black hole your mind fails the body and a blazing fire consumes you from the inside out, leaving behind ashes to be carried by the wind. 
“I bring Chaos and unrest, Lord of Night it be wise of you to heed my warning because your life will be in my hands.” 
Within seconds the afternoon sky turned dark and gray, the loud crack of thunder boomed in the distance and before either of them could reach you, you summoned a strike of lightning; hitting the ground like a whip. The flash was bright as it hit  and Rhys witnessed the wards he placed on Velaris crumble. A loud roar was heard throughout Velaris, a deadly creature answering your call.  It was then he realized, struggling to push through a small door to get within the protection wards was just for show. And whatever message you needed to deliver, something frightening answered. 
 Between the flashes of lightning and the echoes of thunder, just beyond the way they saw hundreds and hundreds of waiting soldiers. Looking at your retreating form, Azriel, Cassian and Amren rubbed at their eyes.
Once you reached the front line of fighters you looked over your shoulder, meeting Rhys powerful gaze and with a slight smirk you replaced his wards and removed the illusioned warriors. Leaving Velaris protected as it once was but now the threat of death and destruction looms near, not only to Rhys but everything and everyone he holds dear in Velaris. 
Part 2
~ thank you for reading
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gloomwitchwrites · 27 days
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Tattoo Artist Simon "Ghost" Riley x Female Reader
Chapter Specific Warnings (per the warnings MDNI): swearing, grief & difficult conversations, discussions around canon-typical violence, smoking, angst, all hurt no comfort
Word Count: 2.5k
A/N: Part Twenty-Four of Ink & Needle
Walsh leaves another note. Price might know your location. Simon prepares to leave.
Chapter Twenty-Three // Chapter Twenty-Five
ao3 // main masterlist // ink & needle masterlist
It rained that night.
Simon turns his gaze upward into stunning light.
There is no rain. No boom of thunder. No flash of lightning.
I burned like the seed.
Price, Johnny, and Kyle stand behind Simon in a half-moon, watching on like observers at a burial, but not part of the procession.
The sky watered my skin.
Simon takes a step forward. Underneath his boots is cracked concrete. From the fissures sprout green. Not weeds. No. Those don’t belong in a garden.
I germinated. I flowered. I grew.
This is grass. Fresh grass. And perfectly green.
Veins. Veins of grass. A network. A web. Stretching outward from a bountiful source.
We are gardens now. The two of us.
“Simon.”
Price’s voice is gruff. A warning. ‘Danger ahead’ is the tone.
But Simon is steadfast and uncaring of what happens to him. He takes another step, crushing blades of grass beneath his boots as he heads for the epicenter of it all.
This building is a shell. A construction site long abandoned and used as one of many covert warehouses under Walsh’s hat. This place burned. Melted.
Simon remembers how the smoke burned his lungs. How it was Price and Johnny that dragged him out even as the fire blazed around him. The ride in the helicopter is still blurry even after all these years.
Afterward, Price told him how it took several days for the fire to eventually burn itself out. Chemicals caused it, and dumping water on it did nothing. The blaze was contained. And then it was left to fade out.
It did.
Eventually.
By that point, Simon was in the hospital thinking he’d never walk again without a prosthetic.
We are gardens now. The two of us.
Simon comes to a stop just shy of the garden. Because that is what it is. A garden.
This is where they found Walsh’s body. Burnt to a crisp with Simon’s blade still lodged in the chest cavity. The handle partially melted.
Simon understands why Price is urging cautiousness.
It’s valid. Truly.
Regardless of the garden surrounding him, in the center of it all is a body.
Not your body. And not a stranger’s either.
It’s a charred corpse. The corpse of Kit Walsh that isn’t Kit Walsh at all. The one discovered after the fire burned out. The one taken back to a lab somewhere for examination before they ruled the wanker dead.
How it’s here, Simon doesn’t know. But it’s preserved well, as if everything only happened yesterday.
The knife is gone.
But in its place is a tree. Not a towering tree, but a young one. Still growing toward the light that shines down from above. The tree, and all the surrounding plants come from fire-activated seeds.
Seeds that are coated in thick resin. Seeds that need that resin burned away before they can germinate and grow.
Simon clearly remembers telling Walsh about it, back when Simon was undercover and Walsh considered Simon a friend and confidant.
The two of them walked the streets of Manchester, lingering in a part of the city that few like to visit and only if they have to. A group of young boys no older than fifteen were slinging it out in an alley.
“They only use their fists now,” Walsh had said. “Back then we used our teeth.”
“Those boys are just seeds coated in resin,” Simon had replied.
Walsh had given him the strangest look. “Fucking what?”
“Some seeds can’t germinate unless they’re burned first.” Simon had nodded toward the group of raging boys. “They are the resin-coated seeds. Their violence is the fire. It’ll melt away the resin. Crack the shell. They will grow. Become a garden.”
“A garden?” Walsh had laughed. “You’re fucking hilarious, mate. A fucking garden? Like my mum’s flower bed?”
“No,” Simon had replied, knowing his own story. Knowing how his father and his bite was the flame that melted Simon’s resin. He had cracked. Grew. But not into his father. Not into that monster.
He germinated and followed a different story.
“A path. They’ll choose a path.”
Price comes up beside Simon, pausing just shy of his shoulder.
“I thought she’d be here,” murmurs Simon, staring at the burnt body of fake-Walsh.
“She might still be alive, Simon.”
“It still has the toe tag.”
Price sighs. “It does.”
Johnny and Kyle appear in Simon’s peripheral. They hover for a moment before coming into view. They walk the perimeter on the opposite side, gazes locked on the garden as if they might find a clue.
Could be that there is, but Simon doesn’t see it.
You are not here.
The note appeared on his front door and Simon knew exactly where when the words flowed off the page to burrow into his skull.
It rained that night.
It did rain that night. It fell in sheets. Soaked right through Simon’s clothes before the fire dried it all away.
“We’ll find her, Simon,” says Price, squeezing Simon’s shoulder before taking a step to the right.
They all stare at the garden. They all look for clues.
Simon’s mind is a cobweb. Dusty. Full of so much and yet unable to recall anything of note. Walsh’s actions have suctioned Simon’s resolve right out of his body like embalming tubes, filling him with a dullness that won’t abate.
Maybe it’s because you’re gone, and half of his purpose is missing.
Simon moves, but it is aimless. He tramples the garden. Steps all over the blooming buds. Crushed. Damaged. That is all he knows to do.
His gaze scans the flora. Examines the body. Its neck is bent backward, mouth open as if seeking falling rain.
Simon moves toward it. Notices a flash of white.
As if yanked from a trance, Simon lunges, falling to his knees, not caring that his bad leg cries out angrily in protest.
“What is it?” asks Johnny, dropping down beside him.
Another note. Another fucking note.
White envelope. No postage. Simon’s full name handwritten on the front.
It’s exactly the same. A twin from the one found at Evie’s home. A twin from the one attached to his front door.
This time, his fingers shake as he opens it up.
The small piece of paper is thin. Wispy. Translucent like the paper you might find in a wrapped gift.
Simon stares down at the ink. It is solid and bold. Not smoke-kissed like the last one. Here, it bleeds. Nearly illegible.
It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.
“Simon?” comes Johnny’s voice, but it’s a distant thing.
Friend. Friend.
“I wasn’t your friend, Walsh,” whispers Simon.
“What is it, Simon?” It’s Johnny again, concern lacing his tone.
“I wasn’t your fucking friend!”
Johnny leans away from Simon as he staggers to his feet. Clutching the paper in his fist, raging anger blooms white hot in his chest.
Price approaches Simon, hands outstretched as if trying to calm an animal.
“Get the fuck away from me!” shouts Simon.
Johnny gets to his feet, moving backward. Kyle, Johnny, and Price all stare back at him. There is pity—so much of it. Simon hates it. He wants to rip it away. They look like they want to give Simon their condolences, as if you are already dead.
But there is no confirmation.
Walsh wouldn’t hold on to your corpse just to take the piss.
Would he?
Walsh stole the fake body. He held on to it. Grew a fucking tree in the chest cavity.
A tightness forms in Simon’s chest. It grows, and then he’s heaving, panic rising. He bends over, placing his hands on his knees as his body convulses, wanting air but not able to find it.
“Simon.”
It’s Price, but Simon turns away, stumbling forward. He moves out of the garden and then collapses to his knees. They strike grass-laced concrete.
No one comes near him. Not until it’s over and his breathing slows to something even and calm.
��We’re taking you home.”
“Captain—”
“I don’t want to hear it, Simon.” Price puts all his authority in it, and Simon’s training rises to the surface, silencing him. “We’re taking you home. And I will handle this.”
Simon turns his head just enough to look at Price. “I want in.”
“I know.”
“I want in. I’m not asking.”
Price nods. “I know you’re not.”
The man sighs, glancing back at Johnny and Kyle. They linger near the edge of the garden, standing close but not touching. Gaz has removed his hat, holding it by the lip, speaking softly to Soap. Simon cannot hear their conversation.
Price returns his attention to Simon. “I want you to go home, and live as normally as you can. Let me take a look at our options. I will call. We’ll find her.”
Instead of walking away, Price presents his hand. “I’ll take it.”
Simon offers up the note without hesitation. Keeping it won’t do anything. It’ll only hurt more. It’ll only be a reminder.
Price nods and folds it up, placing it in his jacket pocket. Pushing up to standing, Price addresses Johnny. “I want this place picked apart. Call in who you can. And get me Laswell. I want Walsh fucking found.”
Distantly, Simon hears Johnny talking into a phone. Price talks too but it’s not to Simon. They are already making plans. Already moving toward the goal.
He is staring ahead. Hardly blinking. All the energy has been sucked from him.
It not Price or Soap, but Gaz that steps into Simon’s line of sight. He bends at the knee. Gets to Simon’s level.
“Let’s go, mate.”
Kyle offers his hand. Simon takes it.
The walk to the car is slow. Foggy. Like the trip to the hospital on the helicopter, this too is completely blurry. He doesn’t remember the drive out of Manchester and back to London. He doesn’t recall arriving outside his flat or the walk up the stairs.
There is nothing.
Only blankness.
Until Simon wakes—and realizes that the exhaustion finally overtook him, plunging him down into a black sleep that took all thought and dream and memory.
Routine keeps him together. It is the only comfort. Simon sinks into it. A distraction from everything. And between it all, Simon fills it with cigarettes and his favorite bourbon. If he didn’t love you, he’d likely be scrolling through his contacts thinking about how he can get his dick wet.
That’s what he used to do after you ran from him at Riot Room. He’d think of you and remember how you were forever out of reach. He’d wank one out to that shredded piece of thong in his drawer and be completely unsatisfied after.
From there, he’d find someone willing and warm. And that simmered the need. At least for a bit.
But he has you now. He loves you. Wants no one else.
The bourbon will do.
But it is a bloody shite substitute.
A day passes.
Then two. Then three.
After a week of radio silence, Simon feels the edges of madness closing in.
Evie calls, but Simon ignores her. She comes to the shop, and with hardened shame, Simon turns her away. It’s cruel. Completely fucking cruel.
But Simon cannot face her or anyone else. Not until he has an answer.
Whether you’re alive or dead, Simon will bring you home.
Amelia even comes—trying to talk sense. And yet Simon hardly cares. He stares blankly like he’s observing a wall. He says nothing. Doesn’t react.
Amelia eventually leaves. Clearly defeated.
A second week passes.
A third.
Simon is a zombie. He is decaying.
Lighting a cigarette, Simon takes up post on his balcony. It’s fucking cold. Winter is in full swing. Christmas has already come and gone. Simon didn’t go to Johnny’s family farm. Soap’s mum rang him just to check in. Apparently, Johnny was there. So was, Gaz.
Simon should have been there. You should have been there. He was so excited to bring you along, to introduce you to the two people in his life he can call parental figures.
He takes a long drag on his cigarette. Simon’s phone buzzes in his pocket.
Though time has passed, Simon is still eager with each vibration of his phone. Every time it goes off, Simon reaches for it—lunges.
He does it now, expecting something yet knowing that it’s unlikely.
Think we found her.
Simon’s heart stops. Drops into his stomach before returning to his chest to thud loudly until it’s all he can hear.
Before Simon types out a response, Johnny sends coordinates.
Meet us here. Three days.
Three days. In three fucking days he’ll be closer to finding you.
Urgency tells Simon to just go—to just fucking leave.
Three days.
Three. Days.
Simon puts out the cigarette and heads inside. Clearing the kitchen table of takeout boxes and empty bourbon bottles, Simon opens up the scheduling planner with all his upcoming appointments. He sets to work, making calls, rearranging fucking everything.
He rebooks until his schedule is clear for two months out. Finding and returning home with you is not nearly enough. Simon has no idea what state you’ll be in when he finds you. If you are alive, you might not be whole, and Simon doesn’t want to dive into work again. You will need all his love and attention.
You deserve it. And he wants to give all that he has.
From there, Simon packs a duffle. Bravo watches on, padding nervously around the bedroom as Simon shoves things inside the bag.
“We’re going on a walk, Bravo,” says Simon, snagging the German Shepard’s leash from off its hook by the front door.
Stopping at Dancing Faun, Simon drops off an extra set of keys to 141 Ink for Ben. After, Simon walks Bravo to the one place he’s been avoiding for weeks.
He hesitates before knocking.
“Finally ready to talk?” asks Amelia, her arms crossed over her chest after she answers the door.
She might be short but her energy isn’t.
“I’m leaving for a bit,” replies Simon.
Amelia shrugs. “And?”
She’s irritated, but that’s understandable. Simon hasn’t exactly been polite to her.
“I’m leaving to bring her home.”
Amelia’s visible irritation melts away. Her arms slowly uncross, dropping to her sides. Eyes widening, she opens her mouth to speak, hesitating at the last second.
“Can you take care of Bravo?” asks Simon before Amelia has a chance to say anything.
She nods quickly, taking the offered leash, holding it against her chest as if she cradles something precious.
“You sure?” she asks, voice shaking slightly. “Are you absolutely sure, Simon?”
There are no details. Nothing to guide him. It is a blank canvas. A deep gash in his understanding. Too many variables bounce around, and Simon cannot seem to grab one out of the air. They slip through his fingers.
Too much uncertainty dwells within him.
“I’m sure,” he lies.
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