#i get met with the only possibility of that having to include some super dramatic change

[pinkeoni]

Why do you want your characters to remain static over a multi-year time jump? Why do you want them to act as if no time has passed at all, when it has? Why do you want characters to always act the same and not react to their new changing environment?

[gatheringbones]

[“The way I told my mom was less than ideal. I was home on a school break and talking to Jessie for about an hour on the telephone. My mom kept knocking on my bedroom door, telling me to get off the phone. I was totally frustrated and came storming into the living room. She said something snide like, “I don’t know who this Jessie is and why you have to be on the phone with her for so long.” “She’s my girlfriend! And I’m bisexual!” I shouted angrily. I don’t actually remember what she said after that.

Telling my gay father was a lot less dramatic. He just said some thing like, “That’s great—whatever makes you happy.” Interestingly, he wasn’t jumping for joy over me joining the team or anything.

Jessie and I didn’t last very long; we really were better off as friends. I don’t think people, including me, realized how serious I was—this wasn’t an experiment or whimsy—until I met Jen.

Jen was the Big Dyke On Campus. She was a senior, super intelligent, opinionated, really out. Everyone knew who she was because she was a big-time activist, very outspoken about things like sex, SM, and porn. She also went to class dressed in men’s shirts and ties. This was no friendly, sporty lesbian that everyone found charming. She was a butch dyke, brazen in her gender and style, and I was drawn to her. She was frantically finishing her honors thesis when we first met, and so our early encounters were at the library. I remember kissing her for the first time on the library steps and feeling such intense desire that I thought I would explode and shatter into tiny bits of flesh at her feet. She was a brilliant flirt, so self-assured, so deliberate and generous with her words, so powerful at casting a spell on me. Consumed by her, I wanted to surrender, to give her everything. She was the smartest, fiercest lesbian I knew. And then she was my girlfriend.

Jen used to read On Our Backs and Susie Bright’s Lesbian Sex World to me at bedtime every night. (She was even in charge of bringing Susie Bright to speak on campus that spring.) We were so connected, so engaged in the relationship. Every single day, there was something new to learn, share, discover. I did so many things for the first time with Jen. Jen was the first girl I ever lived with. I experienced the tremors of my first earthquake in bed with Jen and her yellow lab. I had my first taste of what now is my favorite all-time food at the hands of Jen: sushi. Jen was the first woman to fuck me with a dildo. Jen was the first woman to tie me up. The first woman to spank me. To fuck my ass. She topped me for the first time, I bottomed to her for the first time, and we switched. We watched fag porn together. She was the first girl I ever fucked with a strap-on. She was the first girl I ever stripped for. Jen was the first girl I ever bought a tie for. Jen brought me to buy my first pair of Doc Martens. She was so articulate about her desires and her politics, so sex positive, that I felt like I could tell her anything. She was my lover, my mentor, my dyke teacher, and so much of who I am today came from her.

Before her, I felt closeted not only about my desire for women, but my desire to explore the myriad possibilities of sex. Coming out finally gave me the freedom to do so. I was never tortured or miserable with all the boys I’d been with; in fact, physically, they were pretty satisfying. I couldn’t always connect with them on an intellectual or emotional level, so I always felt like something was missing. While I was sexually precocious with men, I never tried new things, experimented, voiced fantasies—being a dyke totally coincided with my overall sexual liberation, and the two awakenings became intrinsically linked.”]

tristan taormino, from this girl is different, from a woman like that: lesbian and bisexual writers tell their coming out stories, 2000

[blackjackkent]

Clicking around randomly in our little hell room opened up a new conversation with...someone; I can't really see anyone that we're talking to but it's definitely happening.

I'm getting big vibes of the Gauntlet from DAO.

Say what?

LOL.

Okay, I'm not entirely sure what this means. I'm *assuming* it means you can add extra people to your party beyond the ones you already have? EDIT: Springy has informed me that it's just a last-minute party reshuffle if you want to do one, and also that if you do said reshuffling, someone is going to end up stranded in the hellplane and the game never makes it clear that there's any way for them to go home. XD

So we're not going to change things up here, but I am going to go down the list quickly, because I'm quite amused by some of these as options; Caden really has a pretty narrow list of people he'd actually like to fight alongside and most of them are already with him.

Anomen. Caden met Anomen in BG1 for like a mission and a half and then he was summarily dropkicked out of the party to make room for Minsc and Dynaheir. He was a Super Honorable Paladin guy and he and Caden were pretty bemused by each other at best.

Cernd. Last seen after (according to my liveblog records) handing his son off to unrelated druids and wandering out of the party.

Dorn. Met very briefly in BG1 and was a complete jerk iirc.

Edwin. ???? Fuck that guy.

Haer'Dalis. LOLOLOLOLOL. Can you imagine? Last seen stalking off in a cloud of aggrieved thespian pride after Aerie tossed him to the curb for trying to fight Caden to the death for her heart. I don't know what he would do on being summoned into a hell dimension by Caden, but it would involve a long speech, a dramatic flourish, and the most incredibly stupid actions possible.

Jan. We met this guy once and saw him get carted off to prison; he sat in the journal for quite a while and Caden and I never gave enough of a shit to follow up on it.

Keldorn. Aw. Paladad. If it weren't for the 6-person party limit, Keldorn would be one of the few that Caden would be tempted to pull into this whole mess. He liked Keldorn, in spite of his faults. (That said, we left him trying to recover his broken relationship with his wife and Caden wouldn't want to interrupt that, especially not given how likely it is they all might just die in here.)

Korgan. Literally who? (Wait, was that the evil dwarf that we had in the party for like 0.5s in BG1?)

Mazzy. YAY MAZZY. The only person in this list Caden would unequivocally bring along if the game allowed it. Best halfling fighter buddy, good head on her shoulders, gets along with everyone in the party, and is voiced by Jennifer Hale. 10/10 no notes.

Nalia. Good kid, naive. Caden wants good things for her, but those things do not include fighting at his side in hell.

Neera. Oh god. Neera aggravated Caden to no end on the 3-4 occasions they spoke together, each of which was about 5 minutes at most. Basically all he knows about her is that she has a history of making weird magic shit happen for no reason. Not someone he wants lighting every fuse in the place.

Valygar. We met Valygar for one mission back in the middle of BG2 and Caden liked him well enough but that was a very surreal quest and he really doesn't feel the need to extend the relationship.

Viconia. LOL. Everyone remember the conversation where everyone shouted at Caden simultaneously for like ten minutes?

And then finally, scrolling down the list...

o.o;

Oh.

:'(

I have no intention of either bringing him or abandoning him in a hell plane, but I did click on this with the intention of reloading just to see what happens, because a) Caden could use closure if some is available, as Yoshimo's betrayal was one of the deepest cuts he ever endured and b) that boy is DEAD. So I'm curious how this would be addressed.

:(

I think Caden actually did make this request, not really expecting anything to come of it, but hoping against hope that perhaps Yoshimo's shade could be brought back just long enough for them to...talk? Reconcile? But even the boy with the god of death inside him has limits to what he can command.

[dansnaturepictures]

04/01/2023-Blog 2 of 2: Portland Bill 

Following on from my previous post, icing was applied to the cake of another monumental day of birdwatching to start our year. Six more super year ticks awaited; started in the car park where alongside a Pied Wagtail and sweetly flocking Starlings the second picture in this photoset shows these were a couple of Rock Pipits. On a brilliant run I’m on for seeing these birds I got some exquisite views of this rustic coastal bird, I took the first picture in this photoset of one which I was pleased with, a fitting moment to bring me to 90 birds seen this year. Another Rock Pipit of the multiple ones we saw today by the rocks further round inspired me to a glorious moment as we looked for the Purple Sandpipers here. Upon sight of the pipit I reminisced about the only time we’d seen Purple Sandpiper here prior to today on New Year’s Day in 2020 when I recall well Rock Pipit at this part too. Within minutes of me thinking that I spotted the dark domed head of a Purple Sandpiper and we saw two in this wild weather tucked onto rocks and as we watched them for a bit one was in two pools of water. It was an honour to get cracking views of our first this year of this cherished, fine coloured and classy wader. A gem unearthed on the rocks and seen so well. It’s interesting to have again seen these somewhere other than the mighty ones of Southsea where we usually see them after we saw them here in 2020. I took the seventh and eighth pictures in this photoset today of these birds. 

Out to sea here we got more brilliant Gannet views and used the blustery weather to our advantage to see another of my favourite birds of my favourite type the seabirds Guillemots sailing over the water always a good bird to see early on in a year as we have done here before. One of my moments of the year also occurred when we spotted a few slender, smaller, black-tipped gulls flying by. A phenomenal sighting of another of those seabirds I adore brought in pretty close to land by the weather perhaps, Kittiwakes in winter plumage. This was an epic bird to see and one I did not expect to today, or even this year with no specific seabird holiday planned. This is the first definite Kittiwakes I’ve ever seen in southern England (I thought in hindsight I may possibly have seen one here in December of 2020 in similar conditions but could not be sure). As a bird we mostly see on holidays to far flung coastal parts of the UK (for us) in spring this is my earliest ever sighting of one in a year. With the euphoric high and heartfelt joy of seeing these birds this is one of my species and moments of 2023 so far and sets it apart as something different to other years.

Who also saw the Kittiwakes were a lovely and kind couple of birders we got talking to who had been to all of the locations we did interestingly as well as elsewhere, and they kindly alerted us to Common Scoters out to sea. In the back of our mind as one we did see here before in 2019 we spotted a dozen or more Common Scoters flying over the sea which was an honour, not a bird I am ever guaranteed to see in a year but one I am fond of it was so good to get it seen as they don’t usually feature in our start of years so it was something else different. I really have been lucky with ducks so far this week with so many species seen which is a great theme. In return we had showed the couple the Purple Sandpipers earlier on which felt good. Our final year tick of the day, a Portland specialty, came when we unsuccessfully looked for the Little Owl but saw regal Ravens.

It was nice to see a beautiful purple flower here too which I took the tenth and final picture in this photoset of possibly a beach aster or seaside daisy, and it was special to like others enjoy the dramatic conditions at this rugged and beautiful bit of coast. Seeing spraying waves including jumping into the air as they met rocks was brilliant, and really made you immersed in the wild. I took the fourth, fifth and sixth pictures in this photoset of views here today. There were also extremely beautiful sky scenes over the open landscape and sea here with the creamy sun which the third picture in this photoset shows, a bright full looking moon as the day went on dominating the sky and getting hazy as clouds built more later I took the ninth picture in this photoset of it, wispy long clouds that had started to form when we were at the harbour earlier and a bit of red as the sun set which was lovely to witness. It was especially interesting seeing that on perihelion day when the earth is closest to the sun which I’d not heard of before seeing it on social media tonight. I enjoyed all the lights as we descended down from Portland at darkness. What a fun, packed and adventurous day which I am so thankful for. I hope you all had a nice day.

Wildlife Sightings Summary: My first Rock Pipit, Guillemot, Purple Sandpiper, Kittiwake, Common Scoter and Raven of the year, Gannet, Buzzard, Herring Gull, a few Great Black-backed Gull seen well, a delightful scene of several Oystercatchers on a field on the way in as we saw here in 2020, Cormorant a key bird seen today, possibly Shag, Carrion Crow, Jackdaws seen well, Starlings, another passerine bird as it got dark we didn’t quite see what and Pied Wagtail.

Part 1 of today’s post about our time at Portland Harbour and elsewhere on the isle of Portland today is here: https://dansnaturepictures.tumblr.com/post/705552650108846081/04012023-blog-1-of-2-portland-harbour-and-reap

[phoenixyfriend]

Fake Sith TCW Trio

I have another fucked up time-travel AU! Who’s surprised? (Nobody.)

So like. Have you guys read that one fic where Luke and his students go back in time and pretend to be Sith Lords and are super hammy about it? (Sith Lord Swell by AMournfulHowlInTheNight)

This AU has contributions by @atagotiak, @the-lunar-system, @purronronner, @gelpenss, @creepingthroughthistidalwave, and @thisarenotarealblog.

I want TCW trio (plus Rex and Cody) to go back to several years pre-TPM and, since the Council DEFINITELY won't believe them about the Sith being back... they'll force the issue.

Anakin is weirdly excited about things and building up their backstory.

Anakin: Okay so I can definitely be a Maul type, with the unhinged ranting and manic laughter, Obi-Wan can be the whole Refined Rich Guy type like Dooku, where you can't even tell he's evil until he starts talking about getting out the eyeball scoops, maybe toss in a bit of mad science stuff? Ahsoka could play up like Ventress OR, oh oh, she can be the Light Side Child we need to PROTECT who's publicly begging us to return to the Light after our big dramatic Falls where we murdered like eighty people to save her, and-- Obi-Wan: Why are you never this enthusiastic about actual undercover missions. Ahsoka: Did you just have all this ready to go, or...? Anakin: WE COULD GET YELLOW CONTACT LENSES FOR ME.

Obi-Wan: How's my evil laugh?

Anakin going “Okay.. so if any of us need to murder someone to sell the bit it should be me, I think I could handle it the best. Why? No reason.”

Obi-Wan: I'm not sure a complete Fall could come from protecting Ahsoka, really-- Anakin: No, no, it could.

Obi-Wan: Surely you’d hold back because you realize neither of us want that for you. Anakin: Uh. Sure. Definitely.

Obi-Wan points out that none of them can channel the dark side to Prove they're Sith and Anakin just goes "Okay, give me like two seconds to stew in my negativity and--right, you can stop staring in horror, please."

Anakin rambles on that they can TOTALLY make the galaxy a better place while playing at being Sith! He's got a whole LIST of slave empires to "take over" and disassemble!

Anakin has a whole excited spiel about how EVIL soldiers and assistants are minions, in this case partly because Cody and Rex are too good at what they do to be mooks. Cody could pull off evil minion very well. Facial scar? Looks good in black? Quietly competent and sarcastic?

He also pushes for Obi-Wan to lounge in a fancy throne with a glass of wine while Anakin stalks the shadows and Ahsoka hangs out on the window ledge. The disaster lineage is dramatic, okay, Anakin’s just leaning into it, he’d appreciate it if everyone stopped looking at him like that.

Qui-Gon, surprisingly, ends up a skeptic about all of this. Everyone is freaking out about the Sith and he’s like “y’know I’m not even sure they’re darksiders.”

Some Jedi, possibly Qui-Gon for his conspiracy board, gets in a real risky situation and one of the Fake Sith saves them, but also panics and kinda drops character for a bit.

Jedi: You saved me! Why’d you do that? Anakin: I uh... just wanted the pleasure of killing you myself?

"You saved me. Why?" "Mmmm. Jedi." [walks away]

Qui-Gon: [trying to figure out what is up with these people semi-competently (from his perspective) pretending to be Sith] Dooku: [trying to protect Qui-Gon from Sith influence]

The gang is the most successful at pretending to be Sith to Dooku. Sure, they’re not gonna punish him for something he hasn’t done, but it’s not hard to act menacing and angry around him.

(They really do have so much fun irritating the heck out of Dooku. He hasn’t Fallen yet, but they want to keep an eye out.)

At some point, future Obi-Wan definitely drops that little tidbit of "What, you didn't think the Banites were the only Sith running around did you? You... didn't even know about the Banites. How... disappointing."

They REGULARLY use Ahsoka as an excuse to be marginally less terrible. They claim that if Ahsoka pouts, they stop. ‘Soka also uses them as an excuse for why she’s a lil feral. (To be fair, that one is accurate. She was already a lil feral before but it’s not like they did anything to stop it.) Ahsoka gets her "breaking into people's offices" jollies by bugging Nute Gunray's office.

The Jedi keep trying to Rescue Ahsoka.

Rex and Cody end up in real beskar, there's a whole Thing with Mandalore and Jango and Satine.

Obi-Wan is CONSISTENTLY worried about Anakin Falling for real, which... hey, at least he knows to be worried about Anakin Falling. Step up from canon, really.

Anakin is WAY too into killing the Hutts but like. It does... technically sell the bit.

Obi-Wan: Sure, I’m not sad that they’re dead, especially because we’re not connected to the Republic, so we don’t need to worry about starting a war and all that. But. Anakin is disturbingly cheerful about this. Rex: Wasn't he a Hutt slave? Obi-Wan: Well yes, but-- Rex: I'd kill Nala Se if I could get away with it.

Cody and Rex are very supportive of Anakin's murderous intentions.

Obi-Wan does understand anger, even killing someone in anger. Like Maul (the first time at least) and D’nar and a few others. All the same, like... y’know. The level of bloodthirst from the others is a little off-putting.

At one point, Anakin accidentally addresses young Obi-Wan by name, despite never having met before, and to cover it up, he... panic-flirts. He panics, and so he flirts, with young Obi-Wan.

(He will later blame this on old Obi-Wan, because he had to pick up the habit of flirting with the enemy from somewhere.)

Anakin vaguely implies that he's a wee bit obsessed with young Obi, and that the padawan should "get used to being the target of a dark-sider's interests," because he’s scrambling for Ominous Shit and, well, future Obi-Wan was pretty frequently a fixation point for darksiders, right?

The second he gets out, he just starts screaming into a bucket while Rex pats him on the back.

For the next however many terrible months, possibly years, he has to keep up the act while having an ongoing meltdown about how That's My Dad As A Twenty-Something.

(It doesn't help that young Obi-Wan reflexively flirted back.)

Old Obi-Wan, meanwhile, is just very "you dug this hole yourself, padawan."

There is an argument at the beginning about Obi-Wan’s outfit. If he’s gonna be a Sith, he can’t just go around in beige, but he’s like “I like this and it’s comfy.” Sure, he’s changed clothes for undercover stuff, but that’s always been temporary, y’know? He likes his beige.

We have a number of options.

My first instinct? Beige linen three piece suit, like a southern lawyer. "Now I may just be a simple Outer Rim force adept--"

And, of course, you can TOTALLY make the beige sinister: he’s impersonating a Jedi! Jedi impersonation would also explain why nobody has a red saber.

“Sure is good that the Jedi don’t seem to realize most of the galaxy doesn’t know red sabers are different and bad.” “Shhhh, stop poking holes in our story where a Jedi might overhear.”

Like.... if you do enough doublethink, it works! How would a Sith hide? In plain sight. Also, it’s a GREAT way (if they were actually assholes) to try to slander the Jedi name.

(Anakin and Ahsoka still think he could stand to put a little more effort in. Add a splash of color, for pity's sake!)

Though tbh part of me is like “What if Old Obi wore, like... a split skirt suit...” Victorian womenswear inspired because he misses his robes, but he has to look Professional, and like he's MOCKING Jedi instead of BEING one, so he wears a vintage-y split skirt thing over his leggings. Ends up looking a lot like what Ventress had for a while, but Beige. I also keep wanting to put him regency menswear.

Anyway. Obi-Wan’s wardrobe aside...

Anakin builds up his Tatoo accent again. It helps him with the (mostly true) "slavery helped me fall" backstory.

Either Cody or Rex offhandedly mentions being made to serve them (the Fake Sith) and now the Jedi are somewhat concerned about brainwashing. Are these Mandos the victims here?

“No like. Literally made for this. In a lab.” This is even more horrifying. So...

On the one hand good! The Jedi should be scared about Sith! On the other hand... it makes the Jedi more determined to stop them, specifically. They keep on getting in the way, just, all the time, and they’re not investigating the actual Sith problem, which is decidedly not great since the Team doesn’t actually know who’s a real Sith right now, except Maul, and who even knows where that guy is.

Obi-Wan, at some point: Do you think we've succeeded at this ruse... a little TOO well? Anakin: I don't follow. Obi-Wan, gesturing at the truly obnoxious amount of wealth they've collected, including "trophies" of their kills: Really? Because I'm a little worried! Anakin, planning out a battle to take on Nar Shadda: ...I'm not.

"How many people do we realistically we need to take over Hutt Space? Apparently... five."

(Mostly because Anakin is ridiculously op.)

ANAKIN AND YOUNG OBI GET KIDNAPPED BY PIRATES TOGETHER. It's tradition.

Anakin: Okay, so, I need to get really angry about something to pass as a Sith... time to think about my WIFE and how I'll NEVER SEE HER AGAIN.

Since Anakin’s life never goes as planned... this does not work. Instead of getting properly angry, he makes himself sad. There are tears. There is wailing. There’s a distraught rant or two. Young Obi ends up awkwardly trying to comfort him.

“Oh no, this… Sith?? Is crying on me. What do I do???”

Later on, when the Council wants intel: "So... one of the Sith cried on me about his wife. I think she's dead? He wasn't very clear about it but it, uh... it sounded like it might have contributed to his Fall. Also the relationship was a little unhealthy? He basically worshiped the ground she walked on and kept ranting about how he would have given her the galaxy on a platinum platter of she'd only asked, but that might be new and inspired by the Dark."

One of the random Jedi is REALLY good at detecting the truth Through The Force, and asks Anakin how he Fell...

Anakin just. Tells the Tuskens story.

They don't get pinged as lying, but oh boy does old Obi have a LOT of questions for Anakin once they're in private.

There are other things happening to help sell the ruse. Some of them are necessary! Some of them are... not.

Obi-Wan: What's the best way to show we're rich and kind of evil, but like... classy about it? Anakin, immediately: I sit on the floor next to the throne, leaning against it, and you call me pet names while stroking my hair, and then when you need something killed I get to do it for you and then I go back to the floor and you thank me for the directed violence, and then you go back to Negotiations with criminals while I’m sitting there covered in blood. Obi-Wan: ...is there something you want to TELL us, or...?

"You're all going to get a glimpse of something normally kept hidden about me." "Anakin, you don't have to do that." "No, I'm gonna."

(Anakin has decided hes going to peel his kink tomato to sell this ruse, and the others are slightly uncomfortable with that.)

Anakin: Okay, I cannot keep flirting with you. Young Obi: Wait, what? But that's the best part of any time we run into you! Anakin: You look WAY too much like my Master did when I met him. Obi: O...kay? If someone looked like my master when HE was young, I'd-- Anakin: My Sith Master half-raised me. He's basically my dad. Obi: ... Anakin: What's that look for? Obi: I mean, you spend a lot of time lounging at his feet, and, like, given how much you hate slavery, I... kind of assumed it was a kink thing? Anakin, brightly: Oh no, I just have a LOT of trauma. And neuroses. Snips says they’re neuroses.

Young Obi is a little upset because he was actually getting REALLY into Flirting With The Enemy and was hoping it would go somewhere. He mopes to Qui-Gon about it. Qui-Gon isn't sure whether to be proud about Obi breaking rules, or worried over Obi-Wan falling for a Fake Sith.

(As Tia put it: "You enjoy making young Obi-Wan have a completely unrequited crush on Anakin, don’t you?")

Fortunately, one of those attractive Young Mando boys very kindly helped him tape up his ribs this one time, and has thus caught his eye...

I feel like having Cody date Young Obi would court an entirely different kind of (internet) drama because clone ages, but whatever.

Also please imagine an element of "so I'm dating the genetic identical of my boss... who's dating the man I'm a genetic identical of..."

(It's probably not actually Jangobi but man would that be funny and also stupid.)

Somehow Young Obi figures out that the "Sith Master" is a future him before he realizes that they're not actually dark. In his defense, Anakin was pretty convincing. Especially with the wife rant. It makes HIM more obsessed with Anakin, in a reversal of the implied earlier dynamic, which is all kinds of weird. Less romantic but like. Still weird.

"Future Me Scares Me" with Extra stupid. "Future Me Annoys Me." "Future Me acts like grandmaster Dooku, but more sass." "Future Me raised a really hot evil guy that refuses to bang Present Me." "Future Me might be a Sith, but I'm getting more and more convinced he's just fucking with us all." "Future Me is really rocking that beard, and I can't BELIEVE we figured out a way around the babyface."

"I’m kinda concerned about the whole evil thing, but I’m also glad that I know I’ll stay hot as I get older."

Quinlan approves of the priorities.

Also a lot of interactions with older Obi are very Anakin: [does/says something deeply unhinged] Obi-Wan: So, do you want to…. Talk about that? Maybe? Anakin: What’s there to talk about?? I’m fine, everything’s fine! Anyways how about those plans for tracking down Maul?

Anakin later, like way after the ruse is lifted, just blankly tells everyone that he did Fall, once, and Older Obi made him get therapy about it after the truth came out between the two of them a few months into the Fake Sith thing.

Where'd they find a therapist? I'm sure there's one SOMEWHERE around. Denon and Herdessa are close enough, and they've done enough "your criminal empire now belongs to me" that they can pay well. They make sure to find one that takes confidentiality real seriously.

It's all very "we need some more time to unpack all that."

Therapy helps get Anakin to figure out Sheev’s whole deal. They don't necessarily figure out he’s a Sith from it, but they figure out he’s sketchy and they need to look into that more. Obi-Wan probably already thought he was sketchy, but the whole active gaslighting campaign was a little surprising. They realize that he kinda benefited a lot from a lot of Sith plots and they still probably don’t think he’s a Sith but Obi-Wan is definitely starting to think he’s working with one.

"Okay, we're already bugging Gunray, should we bug Palpatine just to be safe?"

They get away with a lot of slicing because Anakin is a technical genius from twenty years in the future.

The reasons they're so good at Taking Over Hutt Space: 1. They know parts of the future. 2. They have superpowers and FAR less reason to not use them, now that their actions aren't going to reflect on the Republic. 3. They have Cody and Rex, who are two of the greatest military minds in the galaxy, and know EXACTLY how to wage a war that covers a solid third of the galaxy, starting from a position of relative weakness. 4. Anakin's charisma is scary high, and his knowledge of slave culture means they gain a lot of trust from the people they free, and they just... keep acquiring volunteers for the army they didn't plan to have. Obi-Wan doesn't know what to do. He thinks they might have started a cult?

In his defense, Dooku sort of started a cult, and Komari got kidnapped by a cult, brainwashed into joining it properly, and then took it over as head figure of said cult. It's practically tradition!

Comics Vader is the central figure of like three different cults, it was really just inevitable.

Anakin: Aw, don't worry master, it's not a cult, it's a revolution! Ahsoka: They're worshiping him, though. Anakin: ...it's still a revolution! Just... with some misunderstandings.

Also, if they got wind of people trying to keep people from being able to leave and other culty stuff like that, they’d probably put a stop to it pretty damn quick.

Names! Time for names. As per usual, it's easiest to keep track of Obi-Wan's alternate Older Self by just calling him Ben.

Darth Ben.

Ahsoka: You should be Darth Boring. Obi-Wan: I can still make you run laps, you know.

Anakin: The Force is telling me to call myself Darth Vader. Obi-Wan: ...why? Anakin: I dunno, but it sounds cool, I'll run with it.

Someone: Ben has all the answers; we shouldn’t question him, ever. Ben: One time I lost a planet, and a five-year-old found it for me.

More options: Going with the "evil word with the prefix 'in' chopped off" that we get with Sidious and Vader: Darth Surrectus (as in insurrection) Just random Latin words: Darth Temporus (time) Darth Commenticius (fake)

Anyway, back to Nonsense:

Maul goes after young Obi early, because the Fake Sith are really invested in this one random Padawan (Sidious is saying he might be a cousin of the false Sith Master? They do look similar enough) so someone needs to investigate. Naturally, Anakin shows up with some wild screeching to fight Maul, and when someone questions why he got involved it gets very "Kenobi is MINE!" and like. Okay. So.

Anakin means it in a very Sith "to toy with" and "to torture" way, or the ‘my chosen opponent!’ way, just the same kind of Obsession as Maul had with Obi-Wan in the original timeline. Unfortunately, Anakin’s a weird-ass person who flirts with Young Obi against his own better judgement, so there's some awkward "Like... your boyfriend?" from young Obi. Anakin just screeches in SOME emotion that nobody wants to interpret, and couldn't even if they wanted to, and starts whacking away at Maul again.

(Anakin hasn't explained the "you look exactly like my dad, sorry, it's just too weird" thing yet, and he is HAVING MANY REGRETS.)

There's definitely at least one instance where a person asks Anakin if he's planning on dating That One Jedi Twink, or at least banging out the tension. At that point in time, Anakin doesn't actually know who the fuck they're talking about, because "Obi-Wan + Twink = Does Not Compute" for dear, dense Ani, and instead he just ends up ranting about how he is LOYAL TO THE MEMORY OF HIS LATE WIFE, how DARE anyone so much as INSINUATE that he would TARNISH HER PERFECT MEMORY and UNWAVERING KINDNESS and WHOLESOME BEING, and the person who asked doesn't end up lightsabered but they do end up with a LOT to tell whoever they're reporting to.

Young Obi-Wan definitely hears Anakin mutter the phrase “something to discuss with my therapist later” a few times, and he’s a little bewildered because darksiders definitely don’t seem like the type of people to go to therapy. They’re the type of people to need therapy, sure, but not the type to go to therapy.

I think it would be very fun for Young Obi to continue sighing over Anakin (who's pretending to be fine with it and even flirting back because he's in too deep to stop and hasn't worked up the courage to explain the elephant in the room) while Anakin is covered in grease and infodumping while having a slightly manic hyperfocus on engine repairs while the two of them Somehow got stranded together in the middle of bumfuck nowhere (it's Plagueis's doing, he finds the interactions between THESE two in particular to be the most informative regarding the fake Sith).

Anakin, at some point while stranded with young Obi-Wan, and having actually started unpacking some stuff in therapy, though he’s def still got a ways to go: I’m pretty sure Ben cares about me. He acts like he cares, like he’ll do stuff like put extra blankets in my quarters in the spaceship because I get cold real easily or track down those droid parts I need for a project and he always has my back in a fight but y’know it’d be nice to hear him say he loves me once in a while. Especially because we kinda had a rough start and idk I don’t think he wanted me around at first.

And uh. Obi-Wan definitely relates to that a bit too much, y’know?

I want to say that Young Obi ends up mentioning All That to one of the clones or Ahsoka later, because they seem probably invested in Anakin's well-being, even if Ben is, well, a Sith, so Obi-Wan's a little worried the man's affection really is fake, but at least Ahsoka...

(Ironic, given what Anakin's actual eventual Sith would-be-Master was like.)

Young Obi mentions Anakin’s most recent rant to Ahsoka, and she just goes "Wait, is that why Skyguy likes to sit by the throne and get called pet names?" "Uh... I don't... know... but it sounds like all of you have a LOT to unpack there, Miss Apprentice."

Later on: "Master Kenobi, you need to tell Skyguy you love him 'cause apparently he's been having a lot of emotions about you not telling him you care and he's been talking to mini-you about it whenever they get stuck together and--"

Young Obi-Wan is just constantly the "Now we don't have time to unpack all of that" John Mulaney gif. Anakin in particular is a mess, and young Obi-Wan slowly goes from "I want to date that" to "I want to study that" about him.

Obi-Wan gets stuck somewhere with Ben, tries to small talk, gets on the topic of Vader, and spills the drama. He gets an awkward “Thank you for bringing that to my attention.”

It’s followed by a fairly frustrated “I try, but Anakin refuses to communicate his needs to me, and it feels like I’m always falling short.”

At least one member of the group is in therapy, probably all of them, but they’re still using young Obi as a sounding board for all this stuff. On the bright side, this is probably good for impressing the importance of good communication on Obi-Wan.

Good for Obi-Wan! And... whatever Padawan he eventually has.

As for baby Anakin, who is approximately age four, I want to go with "Anakin decides to be his own uncle, and Shmi just rolls with it because fuck it, she’s not a slave anymore, and a Fake Sith is a solid defense against anyone trying to re-enslave them."

[This is a backstory I've had them use before (see here and here).]

Seeing Big Ani and Little Ani in the same space might be what finally pings the "oh shit, that's future me" thing for Obi-Wan... you know, if he’s ever allowed close enough to see Little Ani in the first place.

Little Ani stays with the fake-Sith and is sorta jointly trained by all of them, and young Obi-Wan teaches little 'Soka at the Temple. Ani and 'Soka still end up friends somehow, but it is fairly different.

Every time little Ani addresses Old Obi as "Dad," it's just like ten kinds of awkward. The one time someone tried to explain that Ben wasn't his new dad, Shmi glared them down. She is of the opinion that, all the gods be damned, Ani deserves to refer to the most mature man in his life, who raised another him in another timeline already, as a father.

Ani doesn't NEED a father, Shmi herself is more than enough, but he does deserve to have this if he wants it.

An alternative conclusion to the time travel is uh. So the Mandalorians are genetically identical (give or take a hair gene) and really resemble Jango Fett, though whether anyone notices that is up in the air. Then the three ‘Sith’ (two fake Sith and their morality chain tag-along) have three younger, identical copies show up….

It could be really weird cloning shenanigans. Now, it makes no sense that they’d make clones, and stagger their production like that, and leave them as babies on various planets for Jedi to find. IDK what reasons Obi-Wan would come up with for that, but it’s a fun little detour before he gets to time travel.

There's a really painful moment (for the audience, who know about canon Vader) where someone tries to convince Ahsoka to leave the Sith and she's just like "no way, they'd never hurt me!” Then she clarifies that “someone has to keep them from doing stupid Sith shit whenever they get bored, you know?"

A bunch of Jedi probably think she’s delusional, but the few that have seen her get into trouble that is legitimately too much for her, which isn't often, have then seen Anakin show up like the devil himself to save her, and it's like. Oh. This is why she isn't scared of them hurting her.

We’ve discussed how Anakin does get concerningly in character with the fake Sith thing. However, Anakin and Ahsoka are, just once in a while, surprised by how Ben gets sometimes when playing the bad guy.

After all, he stabbed a dude with a fork and threatened to eat him during his time as Hardeen…

He has the same dramatic streak as all the rest of the lineage. He can be vindictive and creepy and scary as fuck.

HOWEVER:

Obi-Wan: I know I'm supposed to be playing at evil right now, but how do we feel about me making that evil a little... fruity? Ahsoka: Fruity, master? Anakin, who knows where this is going: [buries face in hands] Obi-Wan: You know, the... [limp wrist] Ahsoka: ... Obi-Wan: I mean, I'm already bisexual and well-groomed, I can play it up.

What’s the point of being evil if you can’t be flamboyant?

Anyway, I had to put in a lot of thought for what to do with Rex and Cody, because there's a solid place for them in terms of strategy, but it doesn't do much to give them independent narrative arcs, and 'young Obi-Wan has a crush' isn't much of an arc, you know?

So, basic info first: Cody, Rex, and Anakin all hold the rank of General in this AU because, like... who else is gonna. Ahsoka remains a commander because everyone declares her Baby, and also to keep up the "I'm a morality chain" ruse.

Cody maintains a very stern and unyielding public persona, but the second they're behind closed doors, he's roughhousing with his little brother.

Rex has some fun pretending to be a sadist whenever he and Anakin have to team up, because hamming it up as an evil bastard in front of Jedi is actually really fun... but usually, he's a competent fucking professional.

Because here's the thing: someone has to be.

They both kind of hate the army they've gotten, because these people don't even have proper trigger discipline, let alone any actual discipline.

This army? Tragic. They hate it. Give them the clones.

They have to be drill sergeants for months before they have anything worth sending onto the field.

I think that might be how/when they end up reaching out to Jango. Like, the first inroad is absolutely "we're your clones from the future and you were a Shit Dad so you owe us," but then they actually talk him around into letting the Fake Sith hire him. He brings along all the Mandalorians he can get to answer his calls, and on suggestion from Those Mando Twins, joins the army Ben doesn't even want.

Darth Boring doesn't want an army! Unfortunately, Cody thinks that's stupid as hell, and is overruling Ben so they can actually work on this 'cleaning up the galaxy of slavery' thing with actual resources.

Cody and Rex are super competent, and it shows in their horrified disdain for the state of their troops.

Rex: Fucking natborns. Anyone who isn't in the know: What's a natborn? Rex: [leaves without answering] People: WHAT'S A NATBORN???

(I'm assuming that the word smush is harder to parse in Basic.)

I think young Obi-Wan's new crush on Cody should also be unrequited. Cody's just like... bemused. Very "Okay, then, that sure is an Affection you've decided on."

Cody and Anakin both: Sorry, it’d just be too weird. Obi-Wan: Why would it be too weird? Cody and Anakin: Reasons.

Rex has to deal with the "whyyyyy" from both his brother and his (former?) General.

Young Obi-Wan just likes cute boys that fight good! Is that so wrong???

Ahsoka: So since we're not officially Jedi anymore-- Obi-Wan: We're still Je-- Ahsoka: Can we date? Can I date now? I want to date someone before we go back to the Code. It's a classic life experience for most teenage girls, and I want to Have That Experience before we're back at the Temple. Obi-Wan: You're not... you can date, Ahsoka, that's not actually banned by the Code. I mean, you'd have to keep it casual, but-- Ahsoka: I CAN DATE!!!

(Great priorities, Ahsoka.)

An idea I'm toying with is that one of the clones ends up Legally Engaged to Satine for political reasons, and young Obi-Wan is just like ???? because not only can he not date the hot boys, but one of said hot boys has become Mr. Steal Yo Girl.

Young Obi-Wan is suffering, and Quinlan is the worst friend ever because Quinlan is laughing at him.

There is obviously the question of

"How would Satine ever end up agreeing to that, given what their public personas are like and all that? She puts duty ahead of personal feelings but all indications are that it’s a terrible decision both ways." (as stated by Tia)

Which, yes, I forgot to actually say that I was imagining Jango had declared "those twins" his heirs after telling people they were his younger* cousins. Because reasons.

* Jango is about 27 when they land in the past, and I’m going to say the accelerated aging ended after hitting physically twenty because no, I don’t want to deal with that. As far as anyone knows, Cody and Rex are about five years younger than Jango. They’re less than year apart, which isn’t very visible, and most people assume they’re identical twins (except Rex’s hair), and that Cody just looks slightly older because of the scar.

Darth Boring had convinced Satine that the way to keeping Mandalore peaceful was to work with Jango (because Darth Boring, which is not his actual title but it is what Ahsoka insists on calling him in private, has a vested interest in keeping Mandalore and all interested parties calm), and he... maybe accidentally set up a political marriage between her and one of the clones.

It wasn't on purpose! Satine never married in his timeline, okay, he didn't expect her to ever get married here, either! He didn't even suggest it! This just happened!

(I want to say that Cody would be more competent at having a political marriage? But IDK.)

Do I do the Satine thing? It has potential, but also it's a bit of a cop-out. Do I have Cody be a diplomatic representative for their pseudo-Sith empire? He could be, but I think he'd hate it. Do I have Rex date one the Chaos Entities (Anakin or Ahsoka), or is that too repetitive with my other works? THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH GOING ON.

Part of me wants Quinlan to get a crush on Cody, and the crush gets bigger specifically in response to the fact that Cody refuses to take him seriously and/or just doesn't give him the time of day.

Based on their one interaction in TCW, they probably let get along ok. Cody maybe likes him back, buuuuuuut internally he's just a little "you were tolerable at almost-forty; early twenties you is obnoxious."

Just imagine the absolutely puppyish attempts at gaining approval and Impressing The Hot Mando General. Quinlan keeps having vague daydreams of seducing someone to the side of the Light. He really leans into the bodice ripper fantasies of saving someone evil with the power of love! (And also the power of really good sex.)

Bant looks at Quin and Obi and wants to throw them both into the nearest pond because they're idiots, but on this topic they are the same flavor of idiot. She considers calling up Reeft and Garen to help her knock some sense into them.

Quinlan: Can I volunteer to go undercover to the Sith? The Council: No. Quinlan: ...what if I-- The Council: No.

Tholme tries to get Qui-Gon to commiserate over their Padawans getting obsessed with Hot Sith Boys, but Qui-Gon just finds the whole thing funny. He knows from the chats he has with Ben that Anakin feels so completely, utterly, incredibly awkward about all of this.

(Ben continues to hold to "Anakin brought this on himself.")

(Ben also “kidnaps” Qui-Gon a lot.)

Also, hey, at least Quinlan isn’t actually into hot Sith boys! He’s into hot Sith minions which is... probably a step up. At least Cody’s not a Sith himself!

It's a step in some direction but Tholme has no idea which one.

(Quinlan sees Cody in dress uniform once and just keeps the mental image for Ages. It’s in his dreams. Sometimes said dreams overflow to Tholme via Force Mind Magic and Quinlan wakes up to someone smacking his face with a pillow.)

Arguably, Quin's also a lot more romantic about his crush than Obi-Wan is, in this case. Quinlan: I want to save him... Obi-Wan: Hey, hey, cute boy. Look at me. Let’s bang.

Cody: There are currently two future Jedi generals having some form of absurd romantic fixation in my direction. I don't know how to feel about this. Rex: Bed them. Cody: ...I'm not saying that's not eventually an option, but one of them is the younger Kenobi, and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that. Rex: Pat him on the head like a tooka and then bed his friend, it'll be funny.

I think the Quinlan thing and also general exasperation of leading an absolutely useless army can function pretty solidly as the basis for Cody, but I have another idea for Rex now.

Komari is currently brainwashed in a cult, yes? So.

I keep bouncing around back and forth on what to do with Rex, but part of me suddenly really likes the idea of, after Team Fake Sith finds and dissolves the cult (as one does), and takes Komari into custody (because she's dangerous and deeply unwell), Rex kind of ends up her touchstone to being a decent person. He’s not a morality chain, and it’s not really a redeemed-through-love thing, just This Is A Solid Dude who doesn't pity her or thinks she's irredeemable (however you choose to define such a thing), but actually relates to the kind of conditions living like that can involve, and just kind of...

I don’t know. I think Rex's arc in this AU could be very heavily grounded in something to the effect of "You're not the worst darksider I've met. You're not the only person who was in a cult. You're not even the only former Jedi I know that's committed awful, horrible crimes. My question is just this: What are you going to do moving forward?"

Later Anakin: Wait, who do we know that was in a cult? Rex: What did you think Kamino was?

(Rex isn't as chill as he'd like her to think, but he's trying, and she's fairly reliant on the Force to understand emotions, and is currently in nullifying cuffs, so he can bluff.)

Komari needs someone solid and dependable to rely on for at least conversation, and I think Rex needs to feel needed.

I’m not sure if it’d be romance or friendship, but I think there's a solid basis to work with, potentially.

Per Tia:

One thing about Rex and shipping is like. If you want to do Rexwalker again that's fine, but if you're worried about repetitiveness but still want to like. Ship him in a non-political-convenience way. Rexsoka here actually would be different than your other stuff.

I'm trying to figure out if I can make it work because Ahsoka thematically fits very much into a little sister shaped hole here? She feels younger than in other works, despite not actually being younger than she is in, say, Commander Buir. In those other fics, she has some time alone to function and prove herself independently of Anakin and Obi-Wan.

I usually pluck Ahsoka out at sixteen if I'm pulling her from TCW, so she's got most of her competence but hasn't gotten quite all the trauma yet. Commander Buir, in particular, also has baby-shaped Anakin for contrast.

That said, I can see a decent source of narrative conflict in her wanting to experiment with romance and all that, and Anakin trying to tell her she's too young.

A year into this whole time-travel mess, she wants to give the dating thing a shot, and it spirals into "You were only two years older than me when you got married!"

I think I could build a plot out of Ahsoka wanting to do these things, and Anakin as an audience insert not quite processing that she's old enough to make these decisions. If she's choosing to date Rex, whose age works out as being close to hers when one takes into account Kamino fuckery, and whom she trusts absolutely, it’s arguably extra weird for Anakin to be upset with it.

"Senator Amidala was five years older than you, and you married her when you were nineteen and had only really known her for a week! I can go on a date with a guy we both know is one of the most trustworthy people alive if I want, Skyguy!"

I can definitely see Ahsoka getting annoyed with Anakin being overbearing and controlling at some point before that unrelated to romance, too. It’s not exactly a new fault of his.

My god, just imagine someone snidely asking Anakin "where's your little shadow?" and Anakin, being Himself and also a Fake Sith, has an emotional breakdown about how Ahsoka yelled at him for micromanaging her and not trusting her to make her own decisions in life and so she got herself a multi-month solo mission from Ben that Anakin isn't allowed to know any details about, and--

It's another one of those "oh, you have PROBLEMS problems with your mental health" incidents for the Jedi to add to the file, because Anakin having emotionally charged rants about his issues at seemingly terrible times is how they get a lot of information.

Some of the rants are planned.

Many of them, actually.

They want the Jedi to know these things.

Just, well. Anakin.

He really is a little Like That.

On that note, I'm low-key imagining that Anakin gets put on mood stabilizers by the therapist in this context, and he's doing good! He's handling his issues! He's--been captured with Obi-Wan the Younger again and his medication was confiscated.

Anakin is... not great. He's a little out of practice managing his unmedicated self, and when adding withdrawal symptoms onto that... poor Anakin.

(Poor Obi-Wan.)

I think it would be best if Anakin makes a bunch of ominous blustery comments at their captors about how they won't like what's coming to them if they take his belongings (AKA the fanny pack that has his backup pills), and then Obi-Wan just gets to watch Anakin get more and more erratic, because like. Yes, Anakin is using the Force to compensate, but unfortunately he's mostly cut off, and the stress of the situation is pushing him away from depression and into the beginnings of a manic episode.

Anakin is aware of his issues to the point where he's mostly managing, and he keeps asking Obi-Wan "would it make sense for me to [slightly deranged, very impulsive action]," and Obi-Wan realizes he's being the morality sounding board for the Hot Sith because ??? reasons?????

Eventually, Anakin does flop back in bed and dramatically throws his arm over his eyes, and says he needs his meds back, he's absolutely going to lose it, and Obi-Wan tentatively asks what kind of medication. There are levels to worry about. Mild allergy medication is one thing, but heart medication that needs to be taken every four hours is another, you know? He wants to know how much panic is appropriate.

Anakin lets him know that it's Psychiatric In Nature. Obi-Wan suddenly realizes that he really, really, really doesn't want to know what a properly erratic, unmedicated Anakin is like.

(An unmedicated Anakin really isn't nearly as bad as Obi-Wan fears. Anakin's been dealing with this for a while, and knows what his issues are and some of how to deal with them. He'd need to be running on no sleep and higher levels of stress, or to have been drugged with something meant to increase his aggression, to really lose his shit and do something worthy of Vader. RotS levels of stress and sleep deprivation is required to pull RotS levels of manic paranoid delusion.)

Tia asked:

How long does it take the Jedi in general to catch on to how like. They have opportunities. But these Sith never seem to harm any Jedi. And it’s not just like, the past timeline parts of the disaster lineage. They probably get opportunities to hurt other Jedi. Ones that are less skilled at saber work. And more importantly ones that they don’t seem weirdly interested in."

I'm not sure, really. The Jedi don't spend as much time in the Outer Rim as they could, and that's where the Team operates, so actually running into them by accident is unlikely for anyone other than Shadows.

Fortunately, it's really easy to toy with Shadows with the excuse of "I want to see how long it takes before you Fall with us."

I do want like... okay. Here’s the mental image:

Qui-Gon calls them out on being Fake Sith pretty quickly, so Ben just sort of eyes him, dramatically, and orders out "Leave us" to all non-team people. The threat of torture is implied but not stated. He gestures with wine to keep in character. He definitely makes sure Young Obi-Wan is ushered out, so it's just five time travelers, Qui-Gon Jinn, and Ahsoka's immortal force birb.

"...so, what's the reason for the farce, Obi-Wan?" "How in all the hells did you figure it out so quickly?"

(Qui-Gon cheated a bit. He could feel the broken training bond that was never properly severed due to Traumatic Death Of A Master on Ben's end)

Ben didn't realize he'd feel it! Young Obi-Wan can't feel his older self or a training bond with Anakin or Ahsoka, so why could Qui-Gon?

IDK if there would be anything on the level of crying and hugging it out, but I think it would be very funny if, every time young Obi and Anakin are getting captured by pirates or something, Ben and Qui-Gon are just having a nice afternoon tea and checking their watches to see if their respective walking bundles of neuroses are done with their adventure yet.

The Council is So Done, because Qui-Gon continues to insist that they're Not That Bad, but every time anyone other than Qui-Gon brings up the friendship, Ben laughs and makes a comment about how absolutely gullible Master Jinn is.

Obi-Wan is skeptical of his own experiences with Anakin, at least, if only because he's skeptical about Anakin's everything.

"I don't know if Vader is telling me the truth. I don't know if he's telling himself the truth. I don't think he's a great source of information even when he thinks he's being honest."

Anakin could tell Obi-Wan the full and complete truth, and Obi-Wan would worriedly put a hand to his forehead and start doing tests for hallucinations and paranoid delusions. In his defense, this is a very reasonable assumption to make with an individual like Anakin. It's just also not accurate, this time. I don’t know if Anakin hallucinates in canon without a weird inciting incident like Force Nonsense or getting drugged by the enemy, but paranoid delusion is pretty much all of RotS.

"I’m your time-traveling padawan who’s pretending to be a Sith to catch some other Sith who’re going to start a galactic civil war and those Mandalorians you like are from a clone army based on a template of Jango Fett made to serve the Jedi (because that’s totally something he’d sign up for), and one of the Sith is your grandmaster but he doesn’t seem to have fallen yet, it’s probably fine," is hard to believe.

Honestly, even if he seemed stable before saying that, which he doesn’t, it’s all real far fetched. There's a lot going on and Obi-Wan wouldn't even begin to believe it without evidence.

I've had it in my head that he and Bant and Quinlan have been gossiping about the mess for months if not years about these idiots, and at one point it became common knowledge that Ben was a Kenobi, and Bant convinced them (since the two were among the most likely in the entire Order to encounter the Fake Sith) to get a DNA sample, probably hair or blood since that's easiest so they can figure out HOW these two are related, if they are, and then there's a whole big thing.

Bant: No, no, this must be contaminated, it's coming up as Obi-Wan! Are you sure you didn't accidentally grab some of your own hairs? I know it's a little long for most of your hair, but the braid-- Quinlan: Wait, they keep claiming stuff about cloning, right? Maybe someone's a clone? Check for artificial telomeres! Bant: ...okay, so, there aren't any artificial telomeres, but the ones from apparently-Ben are... a lot shorter... um... I don't know what to do with this. It's like I have two samples from the same person, twenty years apart. Quinlan: Obi-Wan, what's that face? Why are you-- Obi-Wan: Vader told me he was a time-traveler. I thought it was the fever talking, but...

That’s how he finds out that Ben is future-him before finding out about how he’s not evil!

"Master Jinn... I think... I think the Sith controlling the Outer Rim is me from the future." "Oh, you finally figured it out?" "I AM HAVING A CRISIS HERE."

Obi-Wan, after a few hours of dazed realization, runs screaming to Quinlan and Bant like 'GUYS GUYS THIS EXPLAINS WHY VADER KEPT SAYING IT WAS WEIRD AND THAT I LOOK LIKE HIS MASTER AND THAT IT WOULD BE LIKE DATING HIS DAD.'

You know, the important stuff.

I think Qui-Gon tells him that Ben isn't evil because, like, That Sure Is A Crisis Obi-Wan's Having. He could hold off for shits and giggles, sure, but Obi-Wan’s on the edge of something Really Concerning, mentally. Best help calm him down on at least one or two things.

Obi-Wan’s maybe still a little skeptical until he confronts them over it. Because their Sith act was real good and also like. Maybe Qui-Gon just wants to believe the best of his Padawan, y’know?

Quinlan runs into Ben before Obi-Wan does, after this whole mess, and gets to observe as money changes hands and people act like sore winners about bets made for When Does Obi-Wan Figure It Out.

Anakin was saying 'soon' because he really didn't think the fever-fueled rant would be discounted as easily as it was.

Cody was of the opinion that it would take at least a few more years since they're actually pretty damn good at this whole schtick.

Quinlan: Wow, he's... going to be really disappointed that you have such a low opinion of his intelligence. Cody, gesturing at Ben: Experience. Darth Ben: ಠ_ಠ

Cody just rattles off some of the Extremely Stupid Shit that Ben's done in their time working together.

Rex cheerily offers up "You didn't even realize General Skywalker was married, sir! And they weren't subtle!" "I knew they were together, I just didn--" "Everyone knew they were together, sir. Everyone."

(Rex had the lowest opinion of their deductive capabilities. He claims it would have taken until Baby Ahsoka showed up at the Jedi Temple.)

-Once Obi-Wan accepts that they're decent people after all- Obi-Wan: Wow, Anakin, you're real good at acting unhinged! Anakin: Haha. Yeah. Thanks?

[profanepurity]

Im interest in your Cult AU but I'm lost? Can you explain me, pliz?

You are most likely not the only one, so I’m using this ask as an explanation post! Hope you don’t mind lol!

I’m going to try and not ramble on and make this post miles long, but bare with me!

So, I guess I should start by saying that the Cult AU is technically an umbrella term for several little aus that I have that exist at the same time as each other. The first being the “crossover AU”, which is the events of the The Walten Files, FNAF, and eventually Harmony and Horror (possible Mandela Catalogue but I don’t want to force that into the writing and make this a “multiverse” because that’s just too much. So I’d need to sit with it for longer as a concept) happening at the same time and overlapping. William and Henry were familiar business partners with Jack and Felix. They wanted to do a lot of marketing and co- performances with Bon’s and FredBear’s. They may or may not help cover up each other’s murderers Their kids are all friends with each other! While Jack and Felix didn’t really want to get too involved, William was also entertaining the idea of a toy line for marketing Fredbears characters with Martin Greywhinder’s toy company. Without going to much into that (since I’m saving a lot of that content for the comics), there’s the cross over AU.

The second AU would be the “Evan is Gregory AU” I guess. I have an explanation for this one here if you want to read up on that!

And now finally we have the “Cult of Malhare AU”. So, I’m sure the fandom is familiar with the Vanny/ Reluctant follower concept with glitchtrap. Though, in this AU she is anything BUT reluctant. But I wanted to expand on that and make it feel a bit more “culty”, and bring in some more familiar faces. William was experimenting with remnant way back in college when he initially met Henry. Once they started getting closer Will shared his research with Henry and got him in on it. Later on when Will married Clara she learned about it by accident when she found some stuff she was not suppose to see in his office. While neither Henry nor Clara participated in the murders, they helped Will hide them, and Clara acted as an accomplice multiple times. It’s important to note also that back in the day, Jeremy, Fritz, and Sammy (yes Sammy from the books, he’s alive and older than Charlie here) were Michael’s 3 other friends in ‘83. Remember that for later. You fast forward a little bit to Henry and William having their super dramatic and messy break up with the business and Henry opening up his own diner with the Toy animatronics, where he hires Jeremy and Fritz as night guards. Henry knew Jeremy and Fritz were still friends with Michael in college and trusted them. After days of stalking, multiple break in attempts into the diner as scare tactics, and patience, William murders both Jeremy and Fritz and collected their remnant. This attracts the attention of young, private detective Sammy Emily, who wants to help his dad put William in prison and get revenge for Charlie’s death. How Sammy dies and has his remnant collected by William, that’s for a future comic 👀 After William dies, Jeremy and Fritz’s spirits are trapped with Will up until he makes contact with Vanessa and glitchtrap is able to form. Jeremy and Fritz are now able to materialize as well. Jeremy presents himself as living to Vanessa as a beta tester to help lure her closer and closer to Glitchtrap, and she only learns about Jeremy being dead this whole time when he finally allows her to see his “true” state. I.e. when Vanessa thinks Jeremy spilled ink on himself wearing a Halloween mask in the VR tapes. Vanessa has always been hiding some “dark secrets” and now with the exposure to the cult, and after a series of trials, she commits herself happily to Malhare. At this point, William has created a massive virtual space to keep his followers, including Henry and Clara, who’s souls he’s trapped in his own personal digital hell with him. Now skipping to the present, Michael and Charlie are back having survived the fire and having been in hiding, only coming to the plex when Charlie felt compelled to by the other spirits. They try to help Gregory and eventually the spirits of Evan and Elizabeth, but as they spend more time in the plex though, the old animatronics begin to come back as well. This includes Cassidy and some of the others, wanting to make sure William stays in his VR purgatory, but the Funtime animatronics have been rematerialized by Malhare, and they are fully invested in their creator’s daughter as they are given a second life and chance to do Afton’s bidding. Michael is also being haunted by Jeremy, Fritz, and Sammy as they try to get him, Gregory/ Evan, Elizabeth, and Charlie to join the cult and reunite with their family.

I have a reference post here for the “Malhare follower’s faces and masks, but they correlate with the masks that the boys wore in ‘83.

I’m still working out a real title for this mess of a series, but I’m running with the Cult Au for now, since they all sort of end up together again even after death with the Waltens, since Michael and Sophie are “really close friends” and inevitably make their families run into each other again.

Ok, I hope this helps! Please feel free to keep asking questions, it honestly helps me solidify concepts. And of course, let me know what you guys think!

[sour--disposition]

Baby Steps

-

harry lewis x fem!reader

-

Request: Can I have an imagine where Harry accidentally gets you pregnant but no one knows your dating and you are scared to death but he is really good and it all is okay in the end and the rest of the sdmn are very supportive in the whole situation when they first find out about not only the two of you dating but also of the pregnancy. Thanks xx

I’m super open to doing a part two of this where baby w2s meets the uncles and we get super cute harry and baby fluff so lmk if thats something else i should add to the to do list

please check my masterlist to see if requests are open

They were taunting you. The two lines on the stick. It was like they were laughing at you, enjoying the turmoil erupting in your gut. Maybe that was the baby making itself known. Who knows?

What was Harry going to say? Neither of you were ready for a baby, were you? Harry’s career was only growing at this point, the sky was well and truly the limit for the Sidemen and for Harry himself. You couldn’t jeopardise that with an accidental pregnancy. It could ruin everything.

You’d been safe, you were on birth control, for Christ's sake. Yet, here you were, having a face off with 3 pregnancy tests.

You texted your best friend, Gee, immediately, asking if you could come over. She replied instantly, worrying about you but telling you to come over whenever you wanted to.

“What’s wrong?”, Gee asked as soon as she opened the door to you. She looked up up and down, checking you for damage.

“I’m pregnant”, you whispered. “I was late and I thought it was just my birth control fucking around with me but I’ve been really ill the last couple of days and I just thought that I’d take a test and rule out that silly possibility because no way am I pregnant but I am and-”

“Breathe, Y/N”, Gee told you firmly, taking your hand in hers and dragging you over to the sofa. “It’s going to be okay”, she said softly, pulling you into her arms. “Does Harry know?”, she asked.

“No, I came straight here”, you whispered. “Oh, shit. The guys don’t even know we’re together. I think Freezy does but... Hi guys I’m actually Harry’s girlfriend surprise also surprise, I’m pregnant”, you said in a put on, over the top, happy voice. “My God, my life has gone to shit, Gee”, you huffed, slumping back onto the sofa.

“It’ll be fine. It’s your body, Y/N, and it’s your choice what you do with it. If Harry is supportive, that’s great. If not, you’ve got me, and the girls and Will and his friends. Whatever option you pick, you don’t have to do it alone”, Gee told you reassuringly, running her hand comfortingly up and down your arm. “You need to tell Harry and then you can take it from there”.

Gee let you sit with her for a little while longer, letting you calm down and get your thoughts together before you attempted to face Harry. You texted him, asking if he was free and if you could come over. He replied quickly, thank God, telling you to come over whenever you wanted.

“You can ring me whenever, okay? And if you need to come here after, you don’t have to ring, just come straight over. Let me know how everything goes, yeah?”.

The drive to Harry’s was stressful. You seemed to hit every red light possible, and every driver in front of you seemed to have zero sense of urgency. You tapped the steering wheel impatiently, flicking through the Spotify playlist you’d set when you left Gee’s.

By the time you’d parked up and gotten to Harry’s front door, you were practically shaking where you stood. The nerves were wracking through your entire body. Forget butterflies, there was a whole stampede going on in your stomach.

“Hey”, Harry smiled once you’d finally knocked on the door. “Are you okay? You don’t look too good”, he said, worry written plainly across his face.

“Is Freezy here or is it just us?”, you asked, chewing on your lip.

“It’s just us”, Harry said simply, taking your hand in his and guiding you over to the sofa. Once you’d sat down, he rested his hand on your knee. “You’re really worrying me, Y/N. What’s wrong?”.

“Promise you won’t be mad?”, you asked, voice small. Harry nodded, moving his hand to hold yours. “I’m pregnant”.

Harry seemed to lose all control of his face. His mouth dropped open slightly in shock and his hand around yours slackened. “I-”, he spluttered. “I thought we were safe”, he said quietly.

“We were”, you said, voice watery as tears started to fall. “There’s, like, a less than 1% chance. I’m so sorry”, you said, voice cracking slightly with emotion.

“Don’t be sorry, don’t cry”, Harry shushed. He seemed to snap back to reality there and then. He bundled you into his arms, carefully pulling you closer to him. He gently wiped the tears off of your face, leaving his hand there to cup your face. “Don’t ever be sorry”, he whispered, leaning forward to kiss you.

“But the boys and your channel and they don’t even know about us”, you rambled. “I don’t know what to do, Harry”, you whispered into the soft fabric of his hoodie.

“It’s your choice, Y/N. It’s your body. I’m not going to force you to have a baby that you don’t want to have, but I’ll be there every step of the way if you choose to keep it”, Harry told you.

“What do you want?”, you asked him quietly. “In an ideal world, what do you want?”.

“Ideally? This would’ve happened a little bit later. But I love you, Y/N. I’ve known from day one that I love you. I want nothing more than to have a family with you and if thats a little bit sooner than we first thought, then so be it. But I’ll be here, no matter what decision we make. All I ask is that you include me. No matter what choice we make, I’m not going anywhere”, Harry said. His thumb came up to swipe at a few more tears that had fallen.

You looked at Harry in awe. “Of course I want this with you, Harry. There’s nothing I want more. Sure, a couple more years would’ve been great. But we can do this, right?”, you asked, voice wavering only slightly.

“Yeah, we can”, Harry smiled. His hand moved from your thigh to your stomach, cupping around what would become a bump in the next few months. “Hi, baby”, he cooed softly, dipping his head down to rest on your chest. “I love you and your Mummy so very much”, he hummed. A smile fell into place on your face as you let yourself bask in the soft moment for a little while.

“Do you want to tell your friends?”, you asked Harry a few minutes later.

“Yeah”, he said simply. “I wanna be a good dad to my baby and that has to start from now. I think they know I’ve got a girlfriend, but I want you to meet them properly finally. And I’ll tell them there and then about Harry Junior. If they can’t get on board, then that’s a them problem”, Harry said with a sense of finality.

“We are not calling this baby Harry Junior, no matter how great of a dad you are”.

-

You were nervous, but not nearly as nervous as when you’d told Harry that you were pregnant last week. You were sat with Harry on the sofa of his living room, waiting for the rest of the Sidemen to come around. You’d already told Cal, it was kind of hard to deflect the question when he came into the room to see Harry affectionately cradling your body and stomach.

“What if they hate me?”, you asked Harry, leg bouncing in anticipation.

“You know them already, sort of. They won’t hate you. You’re amazing”, Harry promised.

“Yeah but they don’t know me as your girlfriend or the mother of your child”, you stressed. Harry opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by a knock on the door.

“That’ll be some of them”. Harry bounced up to open the door, returning to the room followed by Vik, Tobi and Josh. “I got a text from Simon, him and JJ are down the block in an Uber”, Harry said, quickly returning to his spot next to you.

You made small talk with the 3 boys and Harry until JJ, Ethan and Simon arrived. The wait couldn’t have been any longer than 5 minutes, but to you, it felt like a life time.

Once everyone was situated around the living room, Harry gestured at you awkwardly. “So, you know Y/N”, he started, sounding unsure of himself. He was met with a round of nods and ‘mhm’s. “We’ve been together for just over a year”, Harry said bluntly.

You were surprised by the lack of surprise in the room. “You dragged us all the way over here to tell us something we all already knew?”, Vik asked, looking around at the other boys.

“Yeah, it’s not exactly a well kept secret, Harry”, Simon laughed with a smile on his face.

“Oh, well...”, Harry trailed off, blushing and spluttering slightly. “There is something else, though”, he said quietly. “You’ve said I’ve been a bit off the last week and it’s because I’ve really needed to speak to you lot about something”.

“You aren’t pulling a JJ, right?”, Josh asked with a dramatic sigh. “I can’t do diss-tracks again, man, it feels like a fever dream”, he whined. Everyone around the room let out a low chuckle and Ethan poked at JJ’s shoulder, purposefully trying to wind him up.

“No, it’s not about that”, Harry laughed nervously. Harry looked like he was trying to find the words, but he was too nervous to string any of them together to form a coherent sentence.

“Last week I found out I’m pregnant”, you said, squeezing Harry’s hand gently in your own.

The shocked faces almost made you burst out into laughter. Over the last week, it was all you and Harry had talked about and it helped the both of you come to terms with the reality of the situation. It was still daunting, but you knew that you weren’t doing it alone which lifted a massive weight off of your chest.

Shocked faces soon broke out into huge grins. “Congratulations!”, Josh beamed from the other side of the living room. “How far along are you?”, he asked you.

“I’m not too sure, I have a doctors appointment tomorrow because I need to know if my birth control will have done any damage. But I’d say maybe 8 weeks, give or take”, you smiled.

“You had a good time in Italy then, Harry?”, JJ teased from his spot in the chair, earning him a swift swat from Simon. 

Harry’s face screwed up in confusion. “What does our anniversary trip have anything to do with - Oh...”, Harry trailed off, cheeks immediately setting alight with a pinkish red blush. You couldn’t help but giggle, leaning gently against Harry’s side. “Wait, how did you know about our anniversary trip?”, Harry asked.

“Like we said, Harry. You aren’t very subtle”.

[sugawaraxo]

safe place

warnings: reader comes from an abusive household. will include both physical and verbal abuse.

characters: tadashi yamaguchi, satori tendou, tobio kageyama, tetsuro kuroo

request: hii!! can i request scenarios with yamaguchi, tendou, kageyama, kuroo (and maybe akaashi 🥺👉👈) with a crush on a girl who comes from an abusive household and how they would confess/help her? thank you sm🥺💗

an: i’ve been writing so much smut lately that writing fluff felt weird bahaha, but i hope you enjoy it! :)

yamaguchi

- there has been a dramatic shift in your personality since tadashi first met you

- and he notices it instantly

- though you pretend to be, you’re no longer the cheerful and bubbly y/n you once were

- and yamaguchi hates seeing you this way 

- so he debates whether he should bring it up for a long while, not knowing exactly what to say

- but when you show up to his house one day, shaking harshly with tears pooling down your face

- he knows something’s terribly wrong

“hi y/n.” tadashi says with a big grin as finally he opens his front door after hearing his doorbell ring a couple times. that smile quickly drops and forms into an expression rich with concern. his eyebrows furrow and his eyes widen as he takes in your appearance. you’re shaking violently and breathing heavily. your eyes are bloodshot from all of the tears that are quickly rushing down your face, dripping silently onto the concrete of yamaguchi’s front step as you avoid eye contact with him. you’re not quite sure why, but you’re embarrassed about crying in front of him. so your eyes stay locked on the bland grey of the concrete ground beneath you as you wait for tadashi to say something. 

“c-come in. it’s super cold, you can tell me what’s wrong inside.” he says sweetly, reaching out a hand for you to grab. he leads you into the kitchen, watching as you take a seat on the counter. then he grabs a kettle from the stove, pouring you a cup of tea with the water he was boiling before you had shown up on his doorstep. you two remain silent as he does so, neither of you being quite sure of what to say in this moment. so you let the stale silence consume you, only the delicate sounds of yamaguchi pouring the cups of tea filling your ears. once he’s done preparing your tea the way he knows you like it, he walks over to your spot on the counter and hands you the mug.

“careful, it’s really hot.” he informs and you smile softly at his concern. you take a small sip of the tea after blowing it to cool it a bit, sighing at how warm it makes you feel. tadashi always makes it so perfectly for you and you can’t help but feel extremely safe in this moment as he stands next to you silently, though his eyes are asking for an explanation. 

“my mom yelled at me again, but it was worse this time.” you sigh, tears starting to sting your eyes again at the recollection of your previous screaming match with your mother. 

“about what this time?” yamaguchi asks, locking his eyes with yours. his demeanor is soft but his gaze is harsh and you can tell he’s upset that this is happening again. 

“all i did is forget to wash the dishes and it led to her screaming at me that i’m a lazy, good for nothing piece of shit who leeches off of her for food and shelter. basically the usual spiel of how i’m useless and just take up space. how she wishes she never had me because then she’d have one less problem to worry about.” you explain, attempting to choke back the sob forming in your throat. you don’t notice since your eyes are focused on the mug in your hands, but yamaguchi’s own orbs are brimmed with tears. he sets his mug down on the counter beside you and moves between your legs so that he could be as close to you as possible.

“hey, look at me.” he says, but you refuse. you hate having him see you like this. it’s only happened once before and you swore it wouldn’t happen again but here you are, sitting on his kitchen counter while forcing yourself not to break down in front of him. after you disregard his request, he takes matters into his own hands. 

he cups the sides of your face timidly with both of his hands, them still being warm from holding his mug. he lifts your head so that your eyes meet his and you feel your heart flutter a bit. you notice the tears that have yet to leave his eyes, resting there but threatening to spill over at any second. instinctively, you reach up to wipe the tears away as you see them finally fall and he smiles a weak smile at you.

“you’re not useless y/n.” he starts “you are so, so special whether your mom sees that or not. i truly hate that she doesn’t. because if she could even just see a fraction of the most mesmerizing sides of you that i get to see everyday, maybe she would change. or maybe she wouldn’t. despite what she thinks, i know how genuine and kind you are. i know how beautiful and selfless you are. you’re far from good for nothing, i hope you know that. and if you don’t, i’m more than willing to help you realize just how incredible you really are, because i love you. i love you a lot y/n, and i hate seeing you so upset. so i’ll do whatever i can to make it better. i promise.” yamaguchi confesses. tears are streaming down both of your faces at this point. this is everything you need to hear right now and then some, and you feel completely at ease with yamaguchi’s words.

“i love you too tadashi, thank you so much. god, i love you.” you coo before lightly grasping the back of his head and pulling him down for a kiss. your action catches him off guard at first, so he’s a bit timid in terms of kissing you back, but after a few seconds he catches the rhythm and kisses you softly.

“you can stay here if you want, for as long as you need.” he offers, giving you a shy smile.

“i’d love that.” you smile back. 

tendou

- you and tendou have a very playful friendship

- always play fighting or teasing each other and whatnot

- the typical ‘we like each other and everyone around us knows we like each other but we’re completely oblivious so we don’t know we like each other’ type friendship 

- one day the two of you are at tendou’s house at the kitchen table “studying” (which really means “fighting”) as per usual

- tendou playfully hits you very lightly, not even a toddler would have been fazed by the slight shove

- but you wince roughly at the touch

- and tendou gets suspicious

“i barely even touched you, what’s up?” tendou asks for what seems to you like the billionth time. 

“it’s nothing, i was messing around. just drop it.” you huff, growing annoyed at tendou’s persistence in finding out what the issue is.

“the look on your face was clearly not a joke y/n, tell me why it hurt so bad? what aren’t you telling me?” tendou pushes and you’ve just about reached your limit.

“i said it’s nothing so just please stop fucking asking, ok?” you snap, though in the process you lift your arms to cover your face in aggravation. the motion raises your shirt a bit, allowing tendou to catch a glimpse of the huge dark purple bruise spread across your ribs.

“y/n. what the hell happened? that looks terrible.” tendou whispers, the shock of what he has just seen revoking his ability to speak out loud. you catch his gaze locked on your stomach and quickly remove your hands from your face, not even realizing that the movement had lifted your shirt. your face flushes to a sickly shade, all life leaving your body as you realize you can’t lie your way out of this anymore. you have never in your life had someone look at you with as much concern as tendou is now looking at you with, his eyes scanning your face dumbfoundedly as he anticipates your answer to his question. you sigh heavily, mentally preparing yourself for the draining information you’re about to tell.

“well um. i got into a disagreement with my dad.” is all you can manage to get out. you planned on explaining more, but just bringing it up makes your stomach curdle with fear and you feel as though you’re about to vomit. tendou notices and rests a comforting hand on your thigh, rubbing it in small gentle motions.

“he hit you?” tendou asks softly, trying to better grasp the situation.

“well he was drunk and i had an attitude with him, so he got a little worked up and ended up pushing me over. i fell and hit my side on the kitchen table on my way down. but it was just an accident, it’s ok. i made him upset and he pushed me. i just lost my balance is all. it’s not his fault.” you find yourself trying to defend your father and you don’t even know why. you know him pushing you wasn’t an accident. you falling and hitting the table was, but that doesn’t diminish the fact that your father just grunted at you as he watched you sob on the floor in agonizing pain before going back to his previous spot on the couch and finishing off his glass of whiskey. but you don’t want to tell tendou that. 

“y/n no, that’s not ok.” tendou’s voice breaks and your heart breaks with it. “accident or not, no man should be putting their hands on you like that. better yet, your own father. is this the first time he’s done something like this?” tendou asks, attempting to keep his voice steady but failing.

you shake your head no and tendou sighs, shaking his head in dismay. 

“i need to get you out of that house y/n. i’ll figure something out.”

“no satori, it’s fine. i’m fine. i can hold my own.” you argue.

“i’m not denying that you can, but i’d feel like the most terrible human being on earth if i let you go back there and something else ends up happening to you. so you’re staying here. my parents and i will figure out a way to take care of any legal actions that need to be made, but until then you are staying here and i will not let you argue with that.” tendou states firmly. although his words are firm, you can see in his eyes that he’s hurting for you. you couldn’t argue with him even if you wanted and luckily, you don’t want to. 

“thank you tendou, that means more to me than you’ll ever know.” you say.

“you don’t need to thank me, i care about you too much to see you get hurt. i want you right here with me so i can know you’re ok.” he says, leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to your forehead. you melt at his sweet gesture, and suddenly feel like everything will actually be ok. 

kageyama

- kageyama is very attentive and tends to notice things about you that the typical outside viewer wouldn’t pick up on

- like the way you’ve been spacing out whenever he speaks to you

- or the way you flinch whenever someone slightly raises their voice around you

- the way your eyes look tired and lifeless lately, despite the huge smile you may be carrying on your face

- he has a hunch that he knows what’s going on, so he pulls you aside after his practice that you sat and watched while doing homework to talk 

“hey y/n, can i talk to you for a second?” kageyama asks as he walks to your spot in the stands. you frown up at him, not really sure what he would want to talk about, but you shrug with a quick ‘sure’ and let him lead you behind the gym. you frown again because this is where he takes you whenever he has something serious to tell you, or when either of you are having a really bad day and need to express your emotions in private.

“what’s up?” you ask curiously, searching his eyes for any sort of hint of what he’s about to say.

“that’s sort of what i want to ask you. what’s up with you lately? i mean, you’ve been pretty good at hiding it, but i can tell something’s going on with you and it’s not good. i just wanna make sure you’re ok.” he says softly. you contemplate telling him what’s been going on at home, his gentle expression seems so caring and genuine. it’s difficult for you not to just open up to him and let him in. but you’re scared of what he might think or how he may react, so you bow your head down to avoid eye contact and mutter,

“it’s nothing really. school has just been a bit stressful is all.”

“you’re lying.”

“what?” you ask, lifting your head to meet his gaze once more. to you, your performance was believable. but kageyama’s been your best friend for the past two years now so he’s become somewhat of a master in knowing whether you’re being honest with him or not.

“you’re lying. what’s really going on?” he asks. he’s looking down at you with his deep blue eyes drowning in concern. you can tell he won’t let you leave without hearing the genuine truth, so you decide it’s for the best not to lie anymore.

“my mom hit me the other day and we haven’t really talked since.” you explain sadly, tilting your head down again. kageyama sighs at your confession because his hunch is correct, and he hates that it is. “we were arguing as usual, but this time she umm, she got a bit too carried away.” you continue. kageyama physically feels his heart break for you. he’s always known how terrible your relationship with your mother was from his first few weeks of knowing you. you would constantly tell him all the awful words she spewed at you in the heat of your arguments, and he was always there to comfort and reassure you afterwards. but it was always verbal, never physical so he wasn’t quite sure if him stepping in to try and help would do any good or just make matters worse. but hearing that it’s now escalated to physical harm makes his stomach ache.

“i’m so sorry y/n, i should’ve helped when i first heard about how she was speaking to you. that should’ve been my first sign that something like this would happen. i feel terrible for not doing anything.” he let’s out, his head now bowing along with yours.

“hey.” you say in an almost whisper, lifting his head up by placing your finger underneath his chin. his tear glistened eyes meet yours and you can feel the guilt radiating from his body which makes your heart shatter. “none of this is any of your fault. you did help me, ok? you’re the only person i’ve ever even told any of this to and you have always been there to comfort me when i do. you’ll never realize how much that means to me tobio. i appreciate you so much.” you explain.

his eyes jump back and forth between yours as he absorbs everything you just said. then his eyes glance down to your lips and linger there for a moment. yours do the same to his, both of you mentally questioning whether or not you should just go for it. eventually the pressure of the moment pushes you two together and your lips graze tenderly. kageyama’s hands find their place on your hips as your arms wrap behind his neck instinctively. the kiss is sweet and filled with so many emotions. most importantly, it’s filled with love. a kiss that you both have been craving for so long yet never had the guts to pursue. and finally, you’re able to give in. after a few moments you pull away, flushed and flustered a bit yet completely content.

“you can stay at my place tonight. we can figure out how everything will play out once we get there.” kageyama says as more of a question than a statement. you just smile and kiss him again in response.

you’re slightly worried about what the future holds, but having kageyama by your side will forever ease your nerves.

kuroo

- though kuroo can be a bit of a tease sometimes, he’s also immensely caring for those that he loves

- you being one of the people that he loves beyond words

- though he hasn’t confessed it yet

- means he’s very protective of you and would do anything to keep you from getting hurt 

- he’s always been your rock, and you his 

- so when he finds out that your parents have been emotionally damaging you

- he gets fairly upset

“jesus, i look so disgusting.” you say in what you think is a joking manner while looking at yourself in kuroo’s closet mirror. but the way kuroo’s head snaps up from his phone to give you a glare, you can tell he didn’t take it as a joke. 

“why are you always talking about yourself like that?” he frowns.

“like what?” you respond dumbly, knowing exactly what he means but really not wanting to embark on your trauma right now.

“you’re always referring to yourself as if you’re the grossest thing in existence and it hurts me to hear you say those things. is there a reason why you feel like that?” he asks, sitting up straighter on the bed to get a better view of you in the mirror. you sigh and turn to face him, walking over to his bed and sitting on the edge of it. 

“yeah, i guess there is a reason.” you admit, looking down at your hands as you fidget with them.

“well, what’s the reason?” kuroo asks. you look up at him nervously. you told yourself that this is something you would always keep to yourself because you don’t want to bombard others with your issues. but there’s something about kuroo that makes it immensely difficult not to just tell him everything. maybe it’s the way he fully listens to you whenever you have something to say. it’s like nothing and no one else around him matters but you and whatever you have to tell him. he always makes you feel heard and validated. important. something you never get at home. 

“it’s just my parents i guess. no matter what i do, i’m never good enough for them. i’m always trying so hard to impress them, make them happy. but all i get in return is being yelled at and told how much of a disappointment i am. do you know how hard that is? being the best version of yourself that you can possibly be and still not being enough for the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally? it hurts so bad kuroo, and it makes me feel like i’m nothing. so that’s why i’m always talking about myself like that. because it’s how i see myself, as nothing.” you tear up. hot tears begin rolling down your face uncontrollably as soft sobs leave your body. kuroo completely softens at your words, moving closer to you so he can wipe your tears with the pad of his thumb. he pulls you closer to him, your head tucked into his chest while his large arms suffocate you in his warm embrace. 

“i’m so sorry y/n. words can be so damaging, especially coming from your own parents and i really wish you didn’t have to go through that. because now you don’t even see yourself the way you should see yourself. the way i see you.” kuroo says, trailing off a bit on the last line. “i think you are the most captivating person i have ever met and probably ever will meet. every time i’m around you i just can’t help but feel this sharp pang in my heart which i can only assume is love. because i feel it when you’re gone too. you’re unbelievably amazing y/n, and insanely beautiful too. please don’t let your parents destroy that for you, although i don’t think they ever could.” kuroo finishes. 

you lift your head from his chest and look into kuroo’s kind hazel eyes as he looks back at you, flashing a small smile. 

“that’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me tetsu.” you smile “and i love you too.” you finish causing kuroo to immediately go red. he was somewhat hoping you would have forgotten or missed his accidental love bomb, but how could you? you’ve been waiting to say the words yourself for who knows how long, so your heart almost couldn’t take it when it slipped from kuroo’s lips. 

“thank god.” kuroo laughs lightly, “now what are we gonna do about your parents?” 

“completely forget about them?” you joke, though in the back of your mind you’re somewhat serious. 

“i was thinking confront them and put them in their place, but that works too.” kuroo chuckles before lightly grasping your chin and kissing you. you’ve never felt happier nor safer than you do in this exact moment. 

[ghost-party]

Hi! I absolutely love your writing, so I want to try requesting for the Valentine's Day event: Gojo + f!reader: "kissing someone’s forehead" (+ totally optional additional: Gojo is on the receiving end of said kiss from the person he's been pining for). <3 Thanks for doing these, I am having a blast reading everything them.

Thank you so much! I’m really happy to hear that. 😊❤️ I hope you’re having a great weekend!

A/N: A female reader was requested. This went through two extensive revisions, so hopefully it turned out okay.

• • •

Gojo + “kissing someone’s forehead”

For the past few years, you and Gojo have spent Valentine’s Day together for one very specific reason: couples’ menus.

It all started when his favorite café advertised a special, one-day-only offering of delicious, sugary treats.

“Pleeeease, Y/N,” he begged. He was dramatically sprawled across two chairs in your office, making puppy-dog eyes while you tried to focus on lesson planning.

“Think of the red velvet pancakes! The strawberry tartlets! The chocolate-covered cherry macarons!”

“Let me get this straight,” you sighed, finally looking up at him. “You want to pretend we’re dating... just so you can get some sweets?”

Gojo scrambled into a seated position, leaning forward eagerly. “Yes! But not just any sweets — super-special, couples-only ones!” He slapped his palm on your desk, doing his best to look serious. (It didn’t work.) “Help me beat the system. It would be a triumph for singles everywhere!”

In the end, it was the promise of tasty desserts paid for by the world’s strongest sorcerer that sealed the deal.

Now, three years later, your strange tradition is still going strong. But something about today feels... different.

Maybe it’s the gentle way Gojo reaches for your hand as you both approach the café, or how he pulls your chair out for you without his usual, over-the-top adulation. (”Here you go, darling... I’ll have the best view in the whole place, sitting across from you.”)

Or it might be how you catch him gazing at you instead of the menu, or the hint of pink in his cheeks when you lovingly stroke his arm while placing your order.

You’re puzzled, because this has all been fine in the past, both of you doing your best to act the part of the sickeningly-sweet couple, so utterly devoted to one another that no one could possibly question your love. Gojo had practically scripted the entire thing, and he always seemed happy to play this game with you.

But something has changed. You can feel it as he sits across from you at the small corner table, seeming lost in thought.

“Hey.” You nudge his foot with yours, and he pauses, forkful of chocolate lava cake halfway to his mouth. “You okay?”

“Yeah, of course!” His response is too quick, his smile overly bright. “Never better. Everything tastes great.”

“You just seem... I don’t know. Nervous?”

“Me? Nervous? Nah, I’m cool as a cucumber, sweetheart.”

Noticing a smudge of chocolate at the corner of his lips, you reach out and use your thumb to wipe it away. “That wasn’t nearly as convincing as you think it was.”

As if to further emphasize your point, an obvious blush creeps across Gojo’s cheeks, his eyes fixed on your retreating hand. You’ve never seen him look genuinely flustered, and it stuns you.

“I, er...” he stammers, then laughs softly. “It’s really inconvenient, you know, how you always just... see right through me.” He reaches out and takes hold of your hand beneath the table, and your touch seems to calm him.

“Satoru,” you murmur. “This doesn’t feel like pretending anymore.”

He gives you a hesitant smile. “What if I said I don’t want it to be?” Leaning in closer, he asks, “What if I told you I want this every day? Not just once a year.”

“But I...” You blink at him, surprised by his words. “How long have you —”

“Honestly? I’m not sure. It took me a while to realize, and by then... Well, I guess I was smitten. Maybe from the moment we met, as clichéd as that sounds.”

He had been the first person you met when you began teaching at Jujutstu Tech, even before Yaga. You quickly learned that he was rarely punctual, usually arriving late to meetings, carrying a box of doughnuts like a peace offering. He made a habit of crashing your office hours to talk about everything from his students to his top five mochi flavors (which changed almost daily) to memes he had seen on Twitter. And he had a horrible habit of napping in the most inconvenient places, including your classroom.

Without you really noticing, you began spending more and more time together, to the point where you couldn’t imagine what your days would look like without him. Boring, to say the least.

“I thought you were interesting, and that’s unusual for me.” He removes his sunglasses and looks at you, the sincerity in his gaze making you feel warm all over. “But you’re not like anybody else. You never have been.”

“What am I like?” you softly ask.

He speaks without hesitation. “Perfect. Stop, don’t give me that look, like you’re going to argue with me!” Your lips tingle slightly as he presses a finger to them. “I don’t know how else to explain it. It’s felt impossible not to love you more and more all the time.”

His hand shifts to your cheek, and when you gently lean into his touch, he visibly relaxes, his relief palpable. “When I first suggested this —” he gestures around at the red and pink streamers, the glittery hearts, the lush floral arrangements “— I’ll admit, I was curious. I wanted to see what it might be like, being your boyfriend. Even if it wasn’t real.”

“Did it live up to your expectations?”

He teasingly squeezes your cheek. “What do you think, pumpkin?”

“In that case...” You pull away and reach into your bag, retrieving a small, carefully-wrapped box of homemade chocolates. “I guess it’s a good thing I made these.” 

You had gone back and forth about it, knowing chocolates might betray your growing feelings that, in recent months, had become impossible to ignore. But all of the planning, the time and effort you put into perfecting your recipe, the late nights spent hunched over your kitchen counter... You know it was all worth it when you see the astounded joy on his face.

As he reaches for the box, you lean across the table and press a soft, lingering kiss to his forehead. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Satoru.”

At that moment, the waitress walks over, smiling pleasantly. “How is everything?”

“Perfect,” you reply, settling back in your seat. “But I think my boyfriend’s eyes were a little bigger than his stomach. Can we have a to-go box?” Out of the corner of your eye, you see Gojo staring at you, and you’re fairly certain that if his eyes could turn into hearts, they would.

It isn’t until you’re standing on the sidewalk, holding a pink box full of leftover sweets, that Gojo says, “It has a nice ring to it... Boyfriend.” When you look up at him, he’s grinning. He slides an arm around your shoulders and pulls you close. “And that means you’re my girlfriend.”

“Yep. No take-backs. You’re stuck with me.”

He presses a kiss to your forehead, reminiscent of the one you gave him. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

[ickle-ronniekins]

embrasse moi

request: from nonnie! “please can you do a super competitive fred and reader story and idk do with that what u will I trust your judgement”

pairing: fred x french!slytherin!reader

word count: 1.7k

A/N: i am ~feelin~ this request rn. i know quidditch wasn’t a thing during the triwizard tournament when faux moody was teaching just humor me. didn’t realize how much i need a french speaking fred until i wrote this 😩 also i definitely do not speak french and i've used google translate so i apologize in advance if any phrases are wrong LOL. i'll put the what the translations are supposed to be underneath the paragraphs they appear in and @ the bottom with an asterisk *

warning(s): a curse word (oops sry); ~steam~

tag list: @mintlibri @seppys-return-to-madness @how-do-life-does @fopdoodledane @fredd-weasley @iprobablyshipit91 @semmelsemi @laneygthememequeen @snakesonaplane-7 @keoghans @helloallthethingsilove @dreamer821 @the-hufflepuff-of-221b @62442-am @wtfweasleyy @obsessedwithrandomthings @thoseofgreatambition @harrysweasleys @sleep-i-ness @shadowsinger11 @shadychaoticcollection @haphazardhufflepuff @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff @hood-and-horan @letsfightsomeorcs @theweasleysredhair @purpleskiesstorm @hxfflxpxffs @wand3ringr0s3 @finecole @angelinathebook @highly-acidic @purplefragile @90shermione @zreads @susceptible-but-siriusexual @hollands-weasley @andromedaa-tonks @bbystrawberry0421 @princessof-theuniverse @cappsikle @mytreec @imseeinggred @idont-knowrn @flyingserpxnt @auroraboringalis57 @godricsswords @jejegu @annasofiaearlobe @starlightweasley @alwaysasadaesthetic @thisismysketchbook | message me to be added, loves!

“Slytherin wins!”

Fred watched as you threw your beater’s bat into the air while you did backflips on your broomstick in front of all of your teammates. He huffed dramatically; he normally didn’t fancy losing a match to Slytherin, but you showing off was just rubbing salt into the wound.

“Don’t think on it, mate,” George told his twin. He looked absolutely bloody exhausted. Ever since Slytherin had replaced their beaters who had graduated the year before, their team was unstoppable. You sort of stunned the entire school when you arrived at tryouts and crushed it, making the students question why in the bloody hell you hadn’t ever tried out for Quidditch in the first place.

As the Gryffindor team walked sluggishly back toward the changing rooms, the vile Slytherin team captain did not hold back from overly-complimenting his team, therefore firing shots in the Gryffindors’ direction.

“Never seen a more brilliant beater before,”

Fred rolled his eyes noticeably. As your teammates patted you on the back, Fred just scoffed loudly, hoping to grab your attention. When he saw that he had, he turned to George and Harry and said, “She wasn’t that brilliant.” George just shut his eyes and shook his head, sick of Fred’s constant complaining.

“Aw -- vous vous sentez mal, Fred? Ne sois pas si mauvais perdant.”

          ↳ “Are you feeling bad, Fred? Don’t be such a sore loser.”

You earned yourself another eye roll for that one.

“Speak bloody English, would you woman?” he said angrily.

You pursed your lips dramatically in his direction. If he hadn’t been so pissed off, he would’ve noticed how his heart rate had seemed to increase at the fluttering of your eyelashes as you winked at him. Except he’d always been too focused trying to one-up you to notice such things. “Better luck next time, Weasley.”

It wasn’t just Quidditch. It was everything. Charms, incantations, exploding snap games, hexes -- even things Fred absolutely loathed doing, like stupid readings in Divination. It had all started back in your first year, when you were able to kick off the ground first in your flying lesson; you were a Muggleborn and had no idea how to fly. This annoyed Fred to no end, because he’d been flying since he could walk! And ever since, you two fell into this intense competitive streak, not giving into one another. George sure was over it though. Had been for a long time.

He gently tugged on Fred’s robes to lead him back toward the Gryffindor changing rooms, but it was a lost cause. Fred was already ripping off his uniforms due to pure anguish. George sucked in a deep breath before leaving his brother on the pitch. “Bloody hell, here we go again.”

-- -

The next day, Fred was struggling to get through classes due to his lack of sleep from the night prior, and it didn’t help when he was partnered up with you in Defense Against the Dark Arts in Moody’s attempt to separate him and George. Begrudgingly, his feet carried him over toward your desk where you stood, arms crossed and smirk bright. George on the other hand looked particularly jovial to be very far away from the two of you.

“Professor?”

Moody growled. “Not now, Weasley. Time to practice nonverbal hexes with your partner. No complaints.”

Fred huffed a bit and turned toward you. You cocked your head to the side, “What’s the matter? Scared you won’t be able to out hex me?” You narrowed your eyes at him and deepened your grin.

Fred scoffed. “I can out hex you in my sleep.”

You rolled your eyes and muttered under your breath, “Pauvre, gentil garçon. Tellement naïf.”

          ↳ “Poor, sweet boy. So naive.”

He didn’t even bloody care what you’d said, he was just so ready for this lesson to be over. He positioned himself a few feet away from you and stood in a rather dramatic, annoyed stance, waiting for you to just do your worst, already.

Your eyes seemed to darken with concentration. Fred was hoping that the slight smirk he painted on his face would be enough to distract you, but he was unfortunately proven wrong. Suddenly his knees were reversed and he began to falter on his own two feet. You and a few others surrounding you both, including his own twin, fell into laughter.

“Walk much, Weasley?”

His eyes turned to slits as he reversed the hex back, ignoring the crimson colour flooding his cheeks and the laughs still bouncing around the room. You still wiggled your eyebrows at him as he took his own position, pointing his wand toward you. He really needed to bloody concentrate, but the sing-song sound of your voice as you rattled off phrases in your native tongue sent him spiraling. He focused his thoughts solely on the one word: Titillando. He might’ve been distracted, but still managed to hex you.

Your laughter grew due to the tickling that took you over. You fell to your knees and giggled like a little school girl, grabbing at your arms and legs and back as the tickling sensation only heightened. Fred waltzed over to you, confidence exuding him, and lifted his eyebrows at you. He grinned evilly. “Got you.”

Somehow he found himself centimeters from you. He slowly lifted his wand and reversed the hex, and you were now completely out of breath, staring up at him with beady eyes. He took your hand in a tight grip and pulled you to your feet. He could feel your breath on his neck. “Sanglant brillant,” you managed to say in a breathless whisper.

          ↳ “Bloody brilliant.”

He certainly didn’t need you to translate that one. He wiggled his eyebrows at you and breathed, “Glad you think so.”

Shit. You didn’t realize you’d said it aloud, and you hadn’t managed to realize how close he was to you. You pushed on his chest and walked out of his way, fixing your tie and cardigan before sighing deeply to rid yourself of your flustered feelings. You cleared your throat and said, “Again.”

Cheekiness overtook his expression. “Looking for me to out jinx you again, are we?”

“Just do it, Fred.”

“Why can’t you just finally admit that I’m better than you? Put this whole thing to rest --?”

You cut him off. “Tu n'es pas! You stupid boy --” you wandered toward the entrance of the classroom; you needed some air, he was driving you up a wall. You stepped into the empty corridor. “Don’t let this foolishness go to your head. I’ve always been better, I always will be better.”

          ↳ “You are not!”

Fred laughed. “You’re out of your mind, what on earth --”

“It’s obvious!” you cried, throwing your arms up into the air. You inched forward toward him, and you were able to see the veins in his neck protruding just a bit; you were clearly getting to him. The tips of his ears were bright underneath that red hair of his. “Just admit it to me, Weasley. You can’t handle a girl being better at you -- better at hexes, better at lessons, better at Quidditch. Better at everything.” You stood on the tips of your toes in an attempt copy his stance. “And it’s driving you bloody mad, isn’t it?”

Fred sucked in a very deep breath and clenched his jaw tightly to suppress his anger.

Still, you prodded. “Isn’t it?”

Fred just wanted you to shut up already. So in a moment of fury, he growled and immediately pushed you against the wall and pressed his lips to yours in an attempt to silence you. He felt your shock against him as he parted your lips with his tongue, willing himself to not be distracted by the faint taste of your cherry lip balm. When he was sure you’d be silent, he slowly pulled away from you and let the shock roam through him too.

There was fire in your eyes. You blinked slowly a few times and eyed him up and down, as if trying to make sense of your own thoughts. Fred was sure you were about to deck him for being a right git until you lifted your hand and yanked on his tie and whispered, “Encore. Embrasse moi encore.”

          ↳ “Again. Kiss me again.”

He didn’t need a translator for that, either. He watched you lick your lips before he pressed himself into you again. You both met one another’s hunger with an intensity you couldn’t quite understand, but Fred reckoned this was probably the underlying reason for all of the competition between you two. How could he have possibly missed it all these years?

The idea of heading back inside the classroom for the lesson completely slipped from his mind when you grabbed two fistfuls of his hair in your hands and pressed your chest hard into his. By the muffled sigh you emitted against his mouth, he was sure he was driving you mad, and he was hellbent on getting you to be the first one to break with a moan.

But a low, unamused grunt ripped you apart from one another -- Fred was shocked that something had managed to break the ferocity between you both. You bit down on your bottom lip as you both turned to be face to face with a very disturbed and annoyed looking Mad-Eye, and George cracking up right behind him. You quickly swatted Fred’s hand away from your exposed hipbones, but he was pretty sure Moody had noticed anyway.

“Back inside,” your professor growled simply to both of you. In a lower voice, Mad-Eye continued, “I’ve got to be barking mad -- I did not sign up for this..” George winked at his brother and mouthed something that slightly resembled a Knew it, I bloody knew it, before making his way back into the classroom.

Fred turned back toward you and glanced down at your red and swollen lips. “Ready for me to out hex you again?” he asked with a glint of cheekiness in his voice.

“In your dreams, Fred,” you replied, narrowing your eyes and swatting him across the chest in your usual irritated tone. He was about to drag you back into the classroom but you yanked on his tie once more. The sultriness in your voice that dripped from your mouth made him not want to focus on the lesson at all; he’d rather think about many, many other things instead. “First -- embrasse moi, you prat.”

          ↳ “Kiss me,”

“Mmm,” he replied hungrily, licking his own lips in anticipation of getting you alone later. But he could get you riled once more, right? In more ways than one? He absolutely adored the completely startled and impressed look in your eye when he replied to you in French, “Bien sûr mon amour.”

          ↳ “Of course, my love.”

* vous vous sentez mal, Fred? Ne sois pas si mauvais perdant. - Are you feeling bad, Fred? Don’t be such a sore loser.

* Pauvre, gentil garçon. Tellement naïf - Poor, sweet boy. So naive.

* Sanglant brillant. - Bloody brilliant.

* Tu n'es pas! - You are not!

* Encore. Embrasse moi encore. - Again. Kiss me again.

* Bien sûr mon amour. - Of course, my love.

[ramzawrites]

Prince!Eret x Assassin!Reader - One Dance

GN

Pairings: Eret x Reader

Characters included: Eret

Warnings: mention of death, talk of murder, very small mention of alchohol at the beginning

Series: No, a small fast drabble

Summary: You were sent to the local ball in order to get close to the heir Eret only that once you see the perfect chance for you to strike your emotions and feelings think this would be the best time to flare up.

Word count: 2119

Authors Note: I wrote this in the 2nd person which I’m not sure I like but I tried doing it anyway. I have been super busy with college but I wanted to write something for Eret since I love them a lot! Also this is really just a small drabble for fun so don’t expect too much lol

You sighed, taking another sip from you champagne glass. It was more so you fit in with every other snobby looking rich person in this ball room who where either dancing or chatting the world away than to enjoy an alcoholic drink.

Everyone was wearing these garish gowns with even more horrible looking masks. Thinking it would hide their identity and making a fun game out of this. Of course if you knew someone it wasn’t hard to recognize who was standing in front of you but if you didn’t it was apparently a charming game of who is who.

Though you weren’t here to play games. No, you had a job to do.

The good thing about this kind of ball is that it was actually not that hard to stand out. Everyone was wearing glittery, garish dresses and suits that the easiest way to stand out was by wearing something more toned down. All you had to wear was something that showed off the good parts of your body with simple garments.

That’s what you did. The only real choice you made when looking for what to wear was the color. At the end you settled for a simple wine red color. The mask you wore was covering both your eyes while also covering half your face.

There was no way anybody knew you there but it wasn’t about being recognized. The point of this mask was that you remained unknown. The Syndicate who you worked for made sure you were dressed properly for the event and wanted to give you at first a ceramic mask that would cover your whole face but you made the point then that this would probably pull a bit too much attention to yourself. The whole allure of this mask business was that you could see a hint of the real person.

This wasn’t your first job technically but this was your first job doing it alone and while being face to face with your victim. Honestly when it came to assassinations this was a classic and therefore should be treated as such, meaning people were expecting this.

Your goal? Prince Eret. The old king died a few weeks ago and he was about to be crowned the next ruler of the country but there were a lot of people who would love to see otherwise. Surprising? Not really. Especially seeing how the last king was a horrible ruler making sure to make the rich richer and bleeding the common folk dry. As far as people knew Eret wanted to do his best to undo this damage.

You sympathized with him, really, but a job is a job. To that you weren’t a big fan of any kind of government as well. You grew up with the Syndicate and got raised by them. You saw it all from the normal folk starving, getting beaten by the guards for not paying their protection fees all while the rich where eating cake and drinking the most expensive wines. So no, you held no love for this ruling system.

Everything was set. You had poison hidden in your clothes in case you get a chance to put it in his drink, got knives hidden and if worse came to worse you could use your hands. Now, of course to use all these things the damn prince had to appear but as it stood he was nowhere to be seen.

Angry you remembered how you told your mentor that honestly the best way would be for you to sneak in and kill him in his sleep but no this assassination had to be dramatic. To be fair this was the easiest way to get close to him if he would appear that is.

Repressing another angry sigh you decided to get some fresh air at the balcony. Give it five minutes and then return, if he is still not there you had to go back home. Your mentor forbid you to do anything else as it could jeopardize the whole assassination. Better to not attempt a failed murder and just regroup to find the next best opportunity.

It was already dark. The stars were up in the sky next to a full moon. A beautiful night for a sneak mission. Yeah, you were still not over that.

You took a good look over the view from the balcony. Right beneath it was a beautiful garden with all kinds of different flowers and hedges. Placed in such a way that it almost looked like a maze. In the middle was a beautiful fountain placed. Silently splashing in the night. It was then when you noticed someone sitting at the fountain, hunched over. Their back turned to you.

“That damned Prince.” You muttered. Of course you haven’t seen him in the ball room he has been hiding out there. This was perfect! He was alone!

Not trying to show your hurry you walked painfully slow back into the ball room, then out the room and snuck your way out into the garden. Before visiting the palace you had to learn the basic layout of the castle which honestly hammer back in how unnecessary this building was. So many rooms with no real use.

Outside, once you got close enough to the prince, you slowly pulled a dagger out that was hidden on your body. All you had to do was stab him. Either in the throat or heart. Easy enough. Wouldn��t be the first time.

Though as you stepped closer Eret tensed up. Did he hear you? You made sure to be as quiet as possible, there was no way.

“So, I’ve been found.” He spoke and turned around.

As he did you put both your arms behind your back, hiding the dagger in your hands. Trying to put a soft smile on your face to look more friendly “I am sorry, your highness. I saw you from up in the balcony and excuse my manner of speech but you seemed a bit miserable. Who would I be if I didn’t check up on the future ruler.”

Horrible.

Wait, did he roll his eyes?

“Oh, sure. I’m good. You can go back to the ball and enjoy it.”

This really wasn’t what you expected. You thought he would speak in this posh manner as all the others up in the ball room but he seemed almost normal. In fact everything seemed suspiciously normal. He wasn’t sitting up straight, his shoulders slouched, mask askew, clothing splotched by water. This prince was far removed from being what you considered princely.

To your horror you let out a chuckle. Where was your control all of the sudden? The prince eyed you with a curious gaze.

Embarrassed you tried to salvage this situation somehow “Oh, I’m sorry. I just didn’t expect you to be so-“

But Eret interrupted you “So undisciplined? Rude, even?” There was some bite to his words. Someone must have really laid in on him because of his behavior if that is how he reacted.

You shook your head “I would describe you as normal. Not snobbish like the others.”

For some reason he relaxed at that. A smile appeared on his face “Sorry if this offends you but you seem rather normal compared to the others as well if you see me like that.”

“Thank god for that.” You sighed.

The prince chuckled “Well, I’m glad to have met a somewhat kindred spirit then. I’m curious though. Can you tell me your name?”

“Y/N” you answered. Why did you say that? A blush spread on your face. Oh god, you are so screwed, oh no. Any name would have been fine but why did you blurt your real name out?

Eret took off his mask. Now you could see his genuine smile even more clearly “It’s nice to meet you, Y/N.”

“Ye- Yeah.” You stammered as you tried to mirror his smile. You needed to get out of there, now.

This went downhill way too fast.

Your heart hammered against your chest, you felt rigid while also shaking out of nervousness, your cheeks were red and warm. Honestly you would love to just push your face into the fountain to get out of this shocked state.

The prince looked so genuine under the moonlight. You mentally slapped yourself as you noticed that he was looking pretty handsome under this light.

“Want to sit here with me a bit? From what you described you didn’t seem to be the biggest fan of the ball as well.”

You nodded as you inched towards him and sat down. He returned to look back up at the stars. There were no words exchanged, yet it felt somewhat intimate. At least to you.

Gripping the dagger, still hidden behind your back, you waged your options. Just a stab. Right now. It would be easy. Just stab him!

But your body refused to move. What was all that grueling training for if you couldn’t kill your target? Hell, you have killed people before so why were you now having your troubles? Was it because this time your mentor wasn’t with you? Were you really so incompetent alone?

Then the music changed. You could still hear the music from the garden. It was quiet but still audible. The change of music pulled you back out of your thoughts. Taking a deep breath you finally made your decision.

You slowly opened your hand, letting the dagger fall slowly with almost no sound into the water behind you. Something in you stopped you from doing the job, no sense in jeopardizing the whole operation by making a mistake. All you had to do was get out and deal with the consequences then.

Just as you wanted to get up Eret turned to you. A blush on his face as well “I’m not good with this but would you care for a dance?”

He was cute you thought in horror.

“A dance? Out here?”

Eret let out a nervous laugh that send the butterflies in your stomach into a frenzy “I mean, would you prefer dancing between the others? Of course if you don’t want to dance I understand. It’s not really something a lot of people like.”

Biting your lip you stood up “One dance. Then I have to go. It is getting late and my family is waiting for me.” Somewhat of a lie. You considered the Syndicate as your family but you weren’t blood related.

Eret’s nervous expression turned into a happy smile. He stood up and took your hand in his. Giving you a little wink as he led you away from the fountain so you both had more room to move in. Your heart couldn’t handle this.

Together the two moved in tandem to the music. Giggling every time both of you made mistakes. Stepping on each other’s toes, almost crashing into one of the hedges or just making up your own dance moves that didn’t fit to the music that was softly playing in the background.

“Would it be rude of me to wish this dance never ended?” Eret asked. His voice soft with an emotion you didn’t dare to accept to be there.

You laughed “No, I too wish this would never end.” It was the truth.

“So tell me your full name or a way to get into contact with you if that is alright with you. I would love to stay in contact.”

That blush would never leave your face, huh.

It took a moment before you answered “I will get into contact with you, that is a promise alright?”

You then moved towards him, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek and as he sucked in a breath you let go of him. Moving away back inside, leaving the place in a relative hurry, all while Eret was still scrambling and trying to understand what just happened.

He tried to follow but you gave him a warning glare, stopping him in his tracks.

As you moved away from him he softly touched his check, returning back to the fountain. He couldn’t help giggling to himself. Whatever just happened it was the first time in a long while that he truly felt happy. His heart beating rapidly as he put his hands on the side of the fountain. Staring down into the water, as his rush of emotions slowly calmed down again.

It was then as he saw something glinting in the water. Curious what it was he moved closer. Surprised he pushed his hand inside the water to get a dagger out. A small dagger, sharp as can be with a few intricate designs at the hilt.

[re1d]

dating spencer reid would include ... 

→ summary: cute stuff

→ warnings: none

→ word count: 3.2k

→ a/n: i felt like this would be a good starting point for this little writing blog! (fem!reader x spencer)

ngl spencer’s got that dr. jekyll mr hyde dynamic going on ,, sometimes he’s rly flustered and nervous and other times he’s vehemently flirtatious and there’s nothing you can do abt it 

when you first met, he was super cautious and maybe even a little bit scared?? to be around you ,, BUT that quickly changed !

after a year and a half he’s learned to take it easy and not sweat the small things ,, or at least not as much as he used to

he calls it the y/n effect

SPENCER REID LOVES WHEN YOU KISS HIS FOREHEAD !

he just melts when your hands cup his face and he can feel the love coursing through your veins. he drinks it in like it’s water and he’s been in a desert for a thousand days. and then, you bring him down and place a gentle kiss smack in the middle of his forehead

it leaves him starstruck, completely and utterly in love

you especially like hearing him funnel fact after fact into your brain

you know that you’ll never remember all of them but the second you quote him to himself he just gushes about how much he appreciates you and how much he loves you ,, 

“oh, oh! spence! your present finally came!” your excited voice caught his attention as he looked back to see you struggling to carry a large cardboard box into the living room. he rushed to help you, but you shooed him away, telling him to go sit on the couch and that you’d bring it over to him. “close your eyes and open your hands,” your sentence had him grinning like a little kid. “now, i once remember a certain doctor told me that lucille ball was the savior of star trek and i have decided to honor her decision.”

“no way,” a kiddish giggle escaped his lips. he cracked an eye open, but wasn’t able to see anything because you frantically ran to place your own hands over his eyes. spencer huffed, tickling your hands with his eyelashes as he blinked repeatedly.

you squealed when his fingers met your sides, cringing away with laughter. “no peeking! it’s a surprise until i say so, spence!” he jutted his bottom lip out, surrendering and putting his palms up once more. as you placed the box in his waiting grasp, his eyes shot open. much to your shock, spencer took the box and put it on the couch next to him. looking at you with pure adoration in his gaze, he cupped your face and crashed his lips into yours.

“i love you,” he mumbled into the kiss.

“i love you more.”

spencer likes to take you to quiet places, like coffee shops and libraries, but there’s always the occasion when you two will go out with the team n have a couple dozen drinks get a little wildt

one time, a night ended with you both in morgan’s backseat, sleeping soundly on each other. when you two arrived back at your apartment garcia and morgan practically had to carry you guys up the stairs

you like to take him to public, populated places but do quiet things, like going to the park to play chess or going to the aquarium to visit the fish

he really likes to watch you do things

anything from cooking dinner late at night to getting dressed early in the morning, spencer’s eyes are on you

he likes to watch you do mundane things because it makes the horrors he sees on a daily basis a little less terrible, but ! it’s also just because he loves you vv much

spencer is super duper protective of you! when he finally gets a break from work, there’s nothing you can do that could shake him from your side. he’s stuck to you like Glue.

BUT! you know how much he loves his job, and he really appreciates how much you accommodate for his absences

he’s missed:

anniversaries

birthdays

holidays

it doesn’t really matter though because when he eventually shows up at home, there’s no better feeling. him being present at birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays was never as important as him coming home safe and sound

but, there’s always gonna be a time where he doesn’t come home safe

and you’re there for him then, too

sitting at his beside, you had a death grip on his hand as you slipped into intermittent sleep. a hand on your shoulder snapped you awake, as you stared directly into jj’s sympathetic eyes. “y/n,” she murmured, her voice tender, motherly even, “you need to get some real sleep. spence will be fine for the night.”

“jj,” you mumbled through sleep, “you know i can’t leave him.” she nodded, gently brushing pieces of hair from your face. her eyes widened as her gaze moved to spencer. soft fingers caressed your cheek; you turned to face the direction of your wounded boyfriend only to be met with a tired grin.

his eyes were silken, glazed over like two pieces of brown marble. they shone in the white light of the hospital room—just looking at them caused tears to collect in your ducts. you teetered on the edge of falling apart, the act of spencer waking up distracting you from jj slipping out of the room. 

“hey,” his hoarse whisper echoed in the small space, and you lost it. bursting into tears, you practically leaped onto him, sobbing into his chest. spencer’s hand traced patterns into your back as you cried; he truthfully was in a lot of pain, but he wasn’t about to tell you that. when you pulled away, his heart ached at the sight of your puffy, reddened face. tears blossomed in his own eyes, the impact of the situation finally hitting him like a ton of bricks. he could’ve died—he could’ve never seen you again. it made him sick to his stomach. “y/n,” he breathed, “i’m sorry. i’m so sorr—.”

you cut him off with a kiss, gripping his face while trying to pull him infinitely closer. “don’t apologize, spence. you have nothing to be sorry for.” your words made his eyelids flutter closed as he listened. “spence, just promise that you’ll keep coming back to me, okay?”

“i promise.”

when everyone is off, spencer rly rly enjoys seeing you interact with his team

it just makes him so genuinely happy when he gets to watch you joke around with emily and jj and penelope and every time you hug each member of his team goodbye and hello ,, he feels so much like a family 

ofc !! speaking of family—spencer’s mom!! she loves you and welcomed you into their little family instantly

what spencer appreciates the most was that when he finally told you abt his mother and her schizophrenia/alzheimers, you were completely understanding and were 100% there for both him and his mother

it was rly important to him that his mother liked you, and when he talked w her while you were in the bathroom probably freaking out and she said she really liked you, a Huge weight was lifted off his shoulder

and ! others that are rly important to spencer are his three godsons’ families

jj and will as well as morgan and savannah all love you very much and are happy to welcome you into their families

okay now ,, hear me out—embarrassing spencer at work is simultaneously one of his favorite and least favorite things so you make sure to do it often

spencer had told you that he’d be holed in at the office doing paperwork all day, and you knew for a fact that he wouldn’t remember to get himself any lunch. so, you took it upon yourself to order his favorite indian takeout and bring it to the building. the decadent smell filled your nose as you finally arrived and picked up the white bag.

walking in, you headed to the elevator and were surprised to see derek in the lobby, receiving a kiss from savannah before she passed you on the way to the exit. she gave you a fleeting smile and a touch on the arm while derek called out to you. “hey, pretty girl! what are you doin’ here?” his words made you smile, and when you finally reached him, you gestured to the food in your hands. “ah,” he nodded, “pretty boy forgot his lunch.”

“that, and i like to embarrass him—just a little,” you tacked the last part on with a chuckle as derek placed a brotherly hand on your shoulder. he pushed in the button and motioned for you to enter ahead of him. the ride up to the team’s floor was spent in comfortable silence. morgan played a game on his phone until the ding brought him out of his cellular trance. garcia spotted you the moment you stepped out of the elevator and she ran over, enveloping you in a hug warm enough to melt ice burgs. “hi, pen,” you giggled, giving her a kiss on the cheek, “i’m here to bring my oh-so-smart, oh-so-scatterbrained genius boy his lunch.”

penelope’s laughter echoed behind you as she followed you and derek through the glass doors. when you picked spencer’s form out of the bustling bullpen, your face lit up like a meteor shower. it was possible to see galaxies in your eyes whenever spencer was in your general vicinity. “oh!” you sighed dramatically, pulling almost everyone from their midday work haze, “there is the absolute love of my life, the person i never want to leave my side, my one and only—spencer reid!” guffawing and small snickers circulate around the work space—the day had apparently been so slow that hotch cracked a grin at your antics. but, you saw nothing besides the dusty pink that painted your boy wonder’s cheeks.

“you forgot your lunch again, reid?” emily’s voice sounds from across floor, “i’m starting to think you like y/n coming in here everyday.” the rosy pink of his face and neck seemed to morph into a dark shade of crimson. he reached out to take the food, but you pulled it away, tapping your cheek and signaling what the price of the food was. by now, most of the other agents had gone back to work. however, spencer’s team was thoroughly enjoying the blush he’s taken on. quickly, your boyfriend pecks your cheek and snatches the food from your hands.

“love you, spence,” you practically sang after placing a kiss on his forehead. he stuffed food into his face, mumbling a loud love you, too through the takeout.

nighttime always brings out soft spencer

i mean,, he’s always soft,, but nighttime just Hits Different you know??

at night, whenever spence is able to spend time with you at home—his hands are all over you

whether your cooking, cleaning, doing work, or just watching tv on the couch, you and him are inseparable.

he’s rly not one for a lot of pda outdoors and in public—obviously, he’ll hold your hand, gives you hugs, etc but when you two are behind closed doors he’s extra cuddly

spencer leaves kisses wherever he can reach, your neck, you stomach, your cheeks, until he makes it to your lips and places a sweet peck on them

BET SPENCER LOVES TO TAKE BATHS W YOU !!

most of the time, it’s not sexual. he just relishes in the feeling of the water enveloping the two of you in a soft hug. the smell of shampoo floods his nose as you sit behind him, gently massaging your fingers into his scalp. it always makes him feel brand new once you both finally step out.

spencer doesn’t try to hide himself from you. standing there with nothing but love in his eyes, he takes in all of you. peppered kisses tickle as he plants as many on you as he can before you get dressed in pajamas

he truly can’t stand being away from you for too long

it really does drain him having to be away from you for long periods of time—two weeks is the Max of what he can take, but sometimes, he’s away longer than that

and he just has to deal

sometimes ,, although it’s a RARE sometimes ,, you two fight, but he never ever leaves for a case or for anything rly without telling you that he loves you

it all started when he was late for yet another dinner. you knew how much he cared for the people that he worked with and the people that he saved, but this was the third time in a month that he missed a date. the waitress tried not to let pity seep through her gaze, but it was inevitable. your forlorn appearance made her slip you the check with a small smile, asking for your money in the politest way possible. silent rage boiled inside of you as you signed your name on a copy of your receipt. undoubtedly, you were going to annihilate him when he got home.

you entered your apartment, muttering all types of profanities under your breath. it wasn’t until you turned into your bedroom that you saw spencer—a bright smile on his face and a bouquet in his hands. “who are those for?” you spat, the acid of your voice making your boyfriend flinch away. spencer’s bottom lip jutted out slightly, his eyes searching, trying to figure out why you didn’t accept his flowery apology.

“they’re for you,” he mumbled, casting his gaze to the floor, “i’m sorry.” you huffed out a breath, crossing your arms over your chest. sorry didn’t feel like it meant much when it came up constantly. walking over to spencer, you wrapped your arms around him, placing a hand on the back of his head and pulling it to the crook of your neck. you planted kisses along his shoulder, sending shivers down his spine.

“spencer. i waited. i waited for over an hour for you to show up,” you breathed next to his ear. spencer’s body deflated into yours and a sigh escaped his lips. he tugged you into his body, attempting to bring your natural warmth closer. he murmured over a thousand i’m sorry’s along the column of your neck, placing kisses whenever he needed to stop to catch his breath.

his phone vibrated against your stomach, and you feel the gentle flutter of his eyelashes against your bare skin as he leans his forehead into your shoulder, letting out a frustrated groan. garcia’s caller id mocked him as he stared reproachfully at his device. “hello,” he paused. “yeah. mhm. right now? garcia—we just got back?!” you heard her apologetic sound of garcia over the call, and you placed a small peck on spencer’s nose.

“y/n, love,” his voice was somewhat pained. he didn’t want to leave, “i-i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.” it was rare that spencer ever used nicknames, but this one warmed you from the inside out. exhaling knowingly, you let go of him, accepting his latest apology with a tiny nod. reaching out once more, he drew you back into him, enveloping you in a tight hug and swaying from side to side. “you know i love you, right? i love you so much, and i’m sorry that i’m missing a lot of the time.” his words rumble comfortingly against your skin, a little bit like the sound of rain showers pouring on the roof.

“i know you do. i love you, too, and i’ll be here when you get back.” 

it’s not until he’s with his team that he knows

and by knows?? what do i mean?? I MEAN knowing you’re the one

the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with, the one he wants to cherish and hold and love forever, the one he wants to stay

a lot of people have come and gone in spencer’s life, but you always assure him that you’ll be there—no matter the trials or tribulations, you’ll stand by him—always

but n e ways ,, back to the team !

it’s a nice night out,, as opposed to getting only a bit wasted at bars ,, everyone, and i mean everyone was at rossi’s house, enjoying a nice italian dinner

you and spencer show up, looking stunning and not even the slightest overdressed ,, you’re wearing a simple purple evening gown to match his suit and tie

the both of you talk around, visiting savannah and morgan, jj and will, hotch, emily, rossi and krystall, penelope, tara, luke, matt and kristy

as per usual, spencer’s eyes are focused on you—so focused that he doesn’t even sense rossi and morgan’s looming presence behind him

derek clapped his hand onto your boy genius’ shoulder, but it wasn’t enough to tug him from his haze. spencer stared at you, laughing with penelope and emily, and he couldn’t bring himself to do anything but. rossi looked from reid to you and there was suddenly a sparkle in his eyes. he could see it—the way reid’s hazel gaze shone in the dim, atmospheric dinner lights of his mansion—and, it was obvious. the love that radiated from spencer was undeniable.

“kid,” morgan’s voice finally broke him out of his reverie, “you’re in love. i can see it.” a blush crept up reid’s neck to eventually reach his cheeks, dusting his expression with a saccharine pink. he nodded slightly, ducking his head and scratching his neck. “ah, reid—i knew you loved her, but i didn’t know you loved her.” glancing back at him, you made eye contact and beamed—the teasing of his previous colleague falling completely from his mind.

“you’re right,” he muttered, turning to his friend, “you’re right.” his repetition was louder as he launched into action, walking over to you with strength in his step. morgan’s teasing seemed to be the liquid courage that he needed. tapping your shoulder, spencer brought you away from your conversation with the ladies of the bau and took you out onto rossi’s balconey.

quizzically, your eyes bored into his nervously buzzed frame. spencer gripped your hands, lifting them up to his lips while finally meeting your gaze. “spencer,” you narrowed you eyes, “what’s going on?” smiling against your knuckles, he pulled something velvet and square from his pocket at an agonizingly slow pace. mouthing gaping, opening and closing over and over again, you searched for the right words. the love of your life stooped to one knee and popped the question.

“all this time, i’d thought that love was complicated. but now, something made me realize that it isn’t. you made me realize that it isn’t. it’s simple. as simple as knowing that you’re the one i love, you’re the one i want ...” he choked on his words, tears forming in the corner of his eyes, “y/n ... you’re the one i want to come back to. always. so ...” spencer flicked open the small box, revealing a gorgeous diamond, “will you marry me?”

various whoops and cheers were heard from the inside as you rocketed yourself into your lover, nodding your head with millions of words spilling from your lips. 

it was simple.

it was love.

spencer loves you vv much and the feelings are reciprocated tenfold

you listen to his ramblings, you help him through his headaches, you comfort him after nightmares, you love him unconditionally.

you are his everything

he is yours

what more could he ask for?

[xaharadesert]

Oblivious MC - Headcanon

Arcana Characters (Main 5) x MC

*Nadia in an upcoming post*

A/N: Yay, more headcanons! I know these are slow but the new school system is kicking my butt. This next one is for the amazing @genderless-plant-likes-thearcana! They come up with lots of cool ideas for prompts to send to various writers, so you should definitely check out their profile! They came up with a super cute prompt this time; an MC who is super oblivious to their LI’s romantic interest in them! I really appreciate the specifics added in the request, they really helped me out! Thank you! While you’re reading you may notice the headcanons get a bit goofier as they though ;) my bad, but this prompt was too fun. Another side note: I ran out of bullet points and couldn’t fit Nadia into this post, so she’ll be getting her own! As always, I recognize Asra’s non-binary gender orientation but will be using he/him pronouns :) Please let me know if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes! Requests are open :)

❤️Julian❤️

He’s so in love with you

Like, more in love with you than he ever has been with anyone else

But he’s also insecure as heck

So when he starts dropping obvious hints about wanting to be in a relationship with you, and you just don’t get it...

He starts to think that maybe you only like him as a friend

I mean, he’s not being subtle at all

He flirts with you constantly, he sends you winks in the middle of a theatre rehearsal, he almost always has a hand on your should or back to guide you through the busier parts of Vesuvia...

Once he even stood up on a table in the middle of the Rowdy Raven and sang you a love song at the top of his lungs

You just thought he was being dramatic, as always

To you, Julian was an incredible friend

I mean, you maaay have had a teeeensy little crush on him, but he was such a sweetheart that you didn’t want to ruin the friendship you two had

You went on adventures together, you attended his theatre performances, and he did his best to support you in all your magical endeavours

Overall, the dynamic the two of you had was already incredible

And neither of you really wanted to ruin that

When Julian started thinking that maybe you only liked him as a friend he decided to be “selfless” and simply keep his feelings to himself

Of course, that would never work for long

Julian was a man of passion and, possible consequences be damned, he wanted you to know how he felt

So one day, when the two of you were at the Rowdy Raven together and he was tipsy enough to do something stupid, he stood up on the table and loudly announced his undying love for you

Believe me, even for Julian it was dramatic

It was a long speech about how amazing he thought you were, including vivid descriptions about each and every thing about your personality, appearance, and hobbies that he loved

So needless to say you needed cut him off a bit early so that the two of you wouldn’t be there all night

Unfortunately the first thought in your mind upon hearing this was “oh my stars he’s under some kind of spell”

You immediately dragged him out of the tavern and back to the magic shop to find some sort of cure, muttering theories under your breath the entire way

Julian, of course, was not under a spell and was feeling rather put out by your response to his confession

He wasn’t entirely sure where the two of you were going because you hadn’t bothered to share your suspicions with him (why would you? You thought he was being influenced by magic)

When the two of you reached your shop and you started skimming through books he finally asked what you were doing, seeming understandably surprised by the turn of events

You hesitated a bit, not knowing if it was worth explaining this to him, but settled on a brief explanation of “you’re under some kind of love potion and I need to break it” with a side of “please don’t do anything dumb while I try to help you”

Julian of course was, again, fairly shocked to hear this

A spell? What spell? He had been in love with you for months! There was no way it was a spell!

With his mind racing a mile a minute he finally realized what was going on

You were just really, really, REALLY oblivious to his feelings

This revelation caused him to laugh out loud, likely startling you out of your searching

When you looked at him in confusion and a bit of concern he only laughed louder, bending over and wheezing a bit

It took a while for him to calm down, even with your panicked response to his sudden change of emotion

When he was finally done laugiinh and had wiped the tears from his eyes he gave you the biggest grin he was possible of giving

He did his best to explain that no, he was not under a spell, no, he was not joking, and yes, he really did love you as more than a friend

He swears, the look on your face was worth the emotional rollercoaster he had been through that night

And you? Well, you probably needed a minute to process everything that he had just revealed

Of course, the feelings of love were mutual and you said as much when you could finally form words again

Julian was thrilled to hear that you loved him back

The two of you would be happy for many years to come, and even if Julian occasionally teased you about your obliviousness you could never truly be mad at him for it

🧡Portia🧡

She’s super open about just how much she loves you

Portia sees no reason to hide her true feelings, so she’s often very blunt about them

She’ll drop a “you’re gorgeous” or “I wanna kiss you” into a casual conversation like it’s nothing

But you somehow manage to not pick up on it

So of course, Portia doubles her efforts

She bakes you cookies in the shape of hearts, bring you nice flowers on her days off, and take you on what she considers dates, just waiting for you to pick up on her love for you

And yet none of this gets through to you

You think this is how Portia is with everyone

She was cheeky from the moment you met her, so when she tells you she wants to kiss you you just assume she’s joking

Everything else seems to just be an awesome friendship

Obviously Portia is super cute, and obviously dating her would be tons of fun, but there’s obviously NO WAY she could ever be interested in you like that... right?

Portia eventually starts to think you’re just messing with her

There’s no way you could be that oblivious

You definitely had to know she was into you, and you were just playing hard to get

She knows you have feelings for her too, the two of your wouldn’t be as close as you were otherwise

But, no offence, she’s getting a bit impatient

So she decides to just do what needs to be done

The two of you were walking through the market near your shop one day when she grabbed your arm to stop you in the middle of the crowd

She turned you so that you were facing her, looked you straight in the eye, and told you she loved you with the most serious expression you had ever seen on her face

As oblivious as you may be, there was no way for you to misinterpret this as anything other than the truth

Except there was

You assumed she was under a love spell

After the initial shock of finding out your friend was being influenced by magic was over, you immediately dragged her back to your shop without a word

Portia kinda thought you two were going home to make out and she was totally down with it

But when you entered the shop and started digging through your supplies, looking for something, she realized that maybe SHE had misinterpreted

She asked you what you were doing and nearly burst out laughing at the response

You thought she was under a spell? Seriously? You were actually that oblivious the whole time?

She thought it was the most hilarious thing she had heard in a long time

Eventually she managed to calm down enough to reassure you that, no, she was not under a spell

But of course you didn’t believe her, and thought that it was the spell talking

You went back to searching for an antidote while Portia continued trying to prove to you that she was genuinely in love with you

She listed the first time she realized she loved you, the first time she had said it to you to no response, the first time she had wanted to kiss you

She talked about how much she loved every part of you, from your personality, to your hobbies, to your insanely cool magic

Portia was nowhere near as dramatic as her brother could be, but she was very open about her love for you

Finally, you seemed to realize that she was telling the truth (no magic involved)

In turn, you confessed your feelings toward her as well

She gave you a bit of a sly grin and asked how she could be certain you weren’t under some magic spell

To this you responded by kissing her

So I guess she was right when she assumed you two were going back to your place to make out

The two of you were happy from then on, although Portia never let you forget just how dense you were

💛Lucio💛

It’s hard to imagine anyone could be so oblivious about his feelings

Lucio is the most in-your-face about his love for you

He leaves absolutely no room for doubt, which means it’s even more incredible that you don’t seem to get it

He has asked you to marry him about half a dozen times and you keep??? Laughing?? About it????

Doesn’t understand what’s happening

Nobody has ever done this sort of thing to him before, so his mind just blanks if he thinks about it too much

I mean there’s no way you could dislike him, right? You definitely return his feelings... RIGHT?

He’s insecure, but he’ll never admit that

Instead, he chooses to continue his over-the-top dramatic proposals and confessions until you say yes

On the other hand, you don’t really know what’s happening either

You know that Lucio’s a bit... strange, but this is a lot even for him

You start to think that maybe it’s his way of dealing with his feelings now that Nadia’s left him

So you decide to keep being a great friend to help him get through it!

And if that means wading through a bunch of strange emotional obstacles, then so be it!

(Lucio’s in the background banging his head against a wall in frustration)

It’s not like he doesn’t enjoy just being friends with you; he loves having someone around who genuinely cares about him

It’s just that he wants more

He hires people to build giant statues of you (which may be in poor taste, but who cares), he buys or sponsors all of your favourite shops, he always makes sure you get the best of everything

To you, this just seems like Lucio overcompensating for his previous “oopsies”

But one day it occurs to him that maybe you don’t understand his feelings because he’s going about it the wrong way

You’re pretty much immune to his dramatic proposals, so maybe he should try the opposite

So he put together a little plan

It wasn’t a particularly special night; no big occasion to be celebrated

He took you out to the balcony and leaned against the railing, looking oddly serious for someone who had no concept of emotional maturity

He took his time to prepare himself before speaking rather slowly and quietly in comparison to his usual tone

Lucio told you that he loved you, and he left no room for arguement

He didn’t embellish his words in any way, knowing that something simple would be the most likely way to get your attention

And boy did it work

You immediately assumed he was under some sort of spell

I mean Lucio? Acting like a normal person?? No way

You panicked right away and made a run for it, leaving Lucio behind on the balcony in your hurry to leave

Lucio, of course, was shocked, and more than a little offended to have been left so abruptly

People didn’t just leave him places without a good explanation

So obviously he chased you, yelling after you as you did your best to navigate the palace on your way to the library

Unfortunately for you, Lucio is surprisingly athletic and managed to catch you before you reached the door

He untactfully grabbed your arm, which caused you to scream, which caused him to scream, which caused everything to become even more of a mess than before

The two of you were just standing in the middle of the hall, screaming at each other

You wanted to find a way to free Lucio from whatever spell he was under, and Lucio wanted to know why you were running away

When you both calmed down (you being the first, of course), you explained your theory, which wounded Lucio’s ego even more than before

Lucio in return, replied in a not-so-polite manner, asking if you really thought he was stupid enough to be put under some dumb spell

Yes

Yes you did

Lucio had to explain his entire thought process behind confessing in such a normal way, which was pretty embarrassing from his perspective

But to you, it likely came across as sweet as it finally dawned on you that yes, he really was in love with you

The two of you probably had to immediately follow up the confession with a talk about whether or not he was serious about getting married

He was, but he didn’t want to make you feel awkward so he denied it

You two agreed to take things a little slower than he originally planned

The relationship was slightly awkward for the first few days, because neither of you quite understood what had happened the night of the confession

But either way, the two of you were happy, and that was all that mattered

(Although, when Lucio eventually asked you to marry him again it was just as chaotic and messy as the first time)

💚Muriel💚

Oh no, this won’t end well

Muriel is almost the epitome of insecure, so flirting is pretty much impossible for him

He tried a couple of times to be more forward, but when you didn’t respond to his advances he quickly backed down

He didn’t want to overstep, and immediately assumed you just wanted to be friends

Although, admittedly, he has seen other people flirt with you, and you don’t respond to them either

So maybe you’re just not interested in relationships? Or maybe you’re just as bad at flirting as he is

Either way, as much as he loved you, he didn’t push

From your perspective it would seem like Muriel just wanted to be friends

And frankly, anyone else around you would think the same thing

There was nothing particularly romantic about how Muriel acted around you

Arguably the boldest thing he was doing was spending so much time with you

But to you, this was simply a friendship

And of course, you greatly valued Muriel’s friendship

Once you had gotten past the rough exterior, you found that he was a giant sweetheart

He carved small wooden figures for you, and didn’t seem to mind spending time with you

Inanna loved you too, so that was a bonus

Your friendship with Muriel probably lasted much longer than it would have if either of you had any sense of romance

Neither of you tried to take things further because both of you were terrible at flirting and being flirted with

Eventually someone (Asra) had to step in and give Muriel a little push

Asra had known you for a long time, so he alerted Muriel to how oblivious you were and how to best confess his feelings

Muriel didn’t really want to confess at that point, because he didn’t want to make things awkward between you two if something went wrong

But his love for you outweighed his anxiety and he decided to do it anyway

It was a rather cold night, and the two of you were in his hut

You were both curled up by the fire (plus Inanna, of course), and you were telling Muriel a story about a particularly annoying customer from the day before

When you finished the story, a comfortable silence fell between you (which was something Muriel had always appreciated; silence with you was never awkward)

That was when Muriel took his chance and quietly told you he loved you

Except he said it too quietly and you didn’t hear him over the sound of the fire

I mean, you saw his lips move, and therefore asked him to repeat himself, but it was still quiet

Muriel hadn’t anticipated this, and accidentally repeated it in a voice that was much too loud for such a peaceful night

He immediately winced in embarrassment, only to be startled from it when you screamed

He had been anticipating rejection, but he thought a scream may have been a bit dramatic

But of course, you didn’t see it as a rejection; you thought Muriel was under a love spell

Why else would your quiet, anti-social friend suddenly confess to something you had never even seen him hint at before?

And more importantly, who had out the spell on him? Most people didn’t know about him, so it was either someone close to him, or someone EXTREMELY powerful.

You didn’t know which one was worse

You leaned forward, cupping his face in your hands and staring into his eyes, promising that you would help him

This only succeeded in confusing him, the poor man

He didn’t know what you were talking about, and you were starting to freak him out a little

When he asked if you were alright, you started to look confused too

You reminded him that he was the one under the spell, not you

Cue a chorus of confused “what?”s being exchanged by two confused people

In the end, Muriel realized that you had thought he was under a spell when he suddenly confessed

He blushed as red as a tomato and did his best to string together enough words to explain to you that he wasn’t

He genuinely loved you

He also quietly cursed Asra for making him confess, which suddenly helped a lot of pieces fit together for you

You nodded along and agreed that Asra’s meddling was problematic in this case

In the end the two of you spent a fair portion of the night just talking out your feelings and realizing that maybe you would like to be more than friends

Both of you were blushing a lot throughout the entire thing, and years later when the two of you were happy together, you mutually decided to never bring up how you had gotten together in the first place

Asra, however, had somehow found out, and was determined to never let either of you live it down

💙Asra💙

Subtlety? Never heard of it

Asra is the absolute best at letting you know just how much he loves you

Even despite your obliviousness, you are fully aware that he loves you

And of course, you love him back!

How could you not?

Except, the way you see it... it’s platonic love

And Asra is 100% okay with that!

You two share a heart, so he fully understands that you view the live that you two share as platonic

This doesn’t really bother him; as long as you’re alive and happy, that’s all that matters

He’s perfectly content to pursue a strong friendship with you

But of course, being the cheeky legend that he is, he has to slip in some flirting and teasing once in a while

He’ll wink at you in the middle of work, casually brush against you while passing you in the shop, and hold your hand as often as possible

But of course, you view this as friendship

Who doesn’t cuddle with their best friend literally every night? That’s totally normal

You couldn’t ask for a better friend than Asra; he’s always there when you need him and he somehow always seems to know how you feel

You’re incredibly grateful to know him, and you feel safe and comfortable living in the same space as him

Yep, definitely only friendship feelings

He shows his love in little ways to you every day

The two of you live together, so of course you will occasionally have a petty arguement and try to stay seperate for a while, but that doesn’t stop him

He’ll “forget” which chores are yours and do a couple for you, he’ll make your favourite drink “by accident” and then claim he isn’t thirsty, and he’ll casually send Faust into the same room as you if he thinks you’re crying

Overall, just a great partn- I mean friend

He doesn’t really feel the need to confess to you, but if he notices that you’re starting to feel a more romantic attraction toward him then he’ll definitely take advantage of that

If you only wanted to be friends, then, well, that was one thing

But if you wanted to be something more... then he was definitely more than okay with that as well

Asra didn’t exactly plan out how he would confess to you, and instead waited for what he felt was the right moment

He knew it would come eventually, and there was no real rush

So when the two of you were travelling together, and you were both stargazing late at night, the feeling struck him

You had just settled down from laughing at a joke when he gently tilted your chin so you were looking into his eyes

He told you he loved you, but there was certainly something more personal this time

But of course you were incredibly oblivious so you just grinned and said it back, not really thinking about it too much

Of course Asra knew you had missed the point, so when you went back to looking at the stars he propped himself up so he was leaning over you a bit and repeated it

This probably confused you a bit, but you said it back again, thinking that maybe this was some kind of game

He held back a laugh and tried again, this time putting more emphasis on the “love” part

You missed it, and repeated it back

At this point he was trying not to laugh, and knew that he had only one more try before he wouldn’t be able to hold it back

This time he tried explaining more thoroughly

He told you he loved you romantically; as in, a love that was more than platonic. Romantic, soulmate kind of love. Not friendship. Please get it this time.

Your mouth formed a perfect “o” as you finally got his point

For a brief moment, Asra felt relief, thinking that he had finally gotten his point across

Instead he received immediate and extreme panic as you quickly shoved him away. While screaming.

This certainly hadn’t gone as planned

He was desperately trying to calm you down while you rambled about every place you two had been on your trip, trying to locate a time where Asra could’ve been put under a love spell

Asra, of course, found this hilarious, and started laughing harder and harder while also trying to calm you down

This only caused you more distress, and soon there were tears streaming down your face while you tried to convince him that no, this wasn’t funny

He knew you were genuinely concerned about him, and he genuinely was trying to stop, but this had come out of nowhere and he didn’t really know how to respond either

Eventually, you both managed to calm down (but only the kind of calm where he would occasionally look at you and burst into giggles again)

He did his best- between giggle fits- to explain to you that he genuinely did love you and he definitely wasn’t under any spell

He told you that he had loved you for years, and that he always would

He also subtley pointed out that he had been flirting for years and you had just been completely oblivious

No confession would truly be complete without a bit of teasing

You probably felt a bit embarrassed, but he reassured you that it was just a part of your charm

Of course, you told him you felt the same, and the two of you went back to watching the stars, this time just a bit closer than before

From then on, not a whole lot changed in your relationship

The two of you were practically in a romantic relationship already, so really all that was different was a few more kisses and a slightly different intention behind the “I love you”s the two of you shared

[chalkrevelations]

OK, Word of Honor, Episode 9, and I know last time I got deep in the weeds about symbolism, but this week, I’m getting back to basics and rambling on (and on) about what this show is really about: Zhou Zishou and Wen Kexing and their relationship.

First, though, the usual warning: SPOILERS. Not just for this episode, but potentially for the entire show, so drive past and circle back around later if you want to watch all 36.5 eps unspoiled.

Bear with me on this one, because this ep spends a LOT of time on ZZS and WKX, and I think a lot of that time is ZZS making some Monumental Life Decisions, including how he’s going to proceed in this relationship and how he’s going to approach his life moving forward. But I’m finding myself needing to work through it chronologically, and it’s. A Lot. Also, let’s face it, ZZS has been my ride-or-die at least since he dropped to his knees and started disrobing in the middle of the throne room in Ep 1, so a chance to wallow in his emotional journey is a chance I’m gonna take.

So, we do have a brief opener when we find out Dead Guy who the Yueyang disciple was shrieking about at the end of the last ep is Fang Buzhi, AKA the Nine Clawed Fox, the guy who lifted WKX’s (Danyang) Glazed Armor (along with some replicas). He got got by mysterious somebodies in the previous episode, and we find out now that he has three tiny needles in his neck, which ZZS recognizes as a Tian Chuang technique. This leads ZZS to 1) assume it must have been Han Ying who did it, so the (Danyang) Glazed Armor is now in the hands of Tian Chuang, and 2) realize that maybe this is not the best place for the former leader of Tian Chuang to be hanging out right now, so he makes their excuses, because he knows that Gao Chong must be VERY BUSY now that he’s got this corpse on his hands, so they’ll just BE GOING, thanks so much. Gao Chong hopes to see them at the Hero’s Conference, and WKX responds in a Significant Tone that of course he’ll be at the Hero’s Conference, and now ZZS has his Thinky Face on again, because WKX is not nearly as subtle as he seems to think he is when he’s making Pronouncements.

The ZZS/WKX Show really starts kicking into gear that night, at the Getting Lucky Good Luck Inn, where we open on ZZS wandering contemplatively around his room, looking beautiful in the soft light of evening (your FACE, Zhang Zhehan) and ruminating on Prince Jin’s motives for wanting the Glazed Armor, like he’s never met this power-hungry asshole before. Also, he thinks to himself, wtf was that, with Gao Chong keeping anybody from seeing Chengling in the last ep? There’s a knock on the door, which momentarily confuses him - understandably, because as we’ll see, WKX doesn’t generally get the concept of announcing yourself and waiting to be invited in by knocking first, preferring to dramatically bust open doors (at least to ZZS’s bedroom) and grace you with his presence, whatever your thoughts on the matter are. He’s accompanied by waiters and dinner, and ZZS realizes his senses are going, presumably because he can’t smell this spread that WKX has procured in an attempt to prove what a good provider he is (what did I say about food and bonding? ZZS fed him in the market, and now it’s his turn to feed ZZS). WKX tells us that life is just three hots and a cot - which gives away more about your life than you would likely be comfortable with us knowing, Lao Wen, given how close to the vest you’re holding your cards – and that everything else can wait if you can have a meal with someone you like. :coff: (Also, remember this, it will come around again.)

Cut to dinner by flickering candlelight, the better for soft lighting to caress ZZH’s exquisite face, but ZZS isn’t into it at all, staring into space instead of eating WKX’s proffered Courtship Delicacies. This earns what’s possibly WKX’s most hypocritical and amusing comment yet, which is to ask ZZS, “What is it that you can’t tell me?” ZZS - apparently - is still feeling soft about WKX’s help against Tian Chuang’s Chengling-kidnapping attempt - or maybe he’s thinking that a little bit of opening up on his part will soften up WKX - because he hardly has to have a spoon dug into his ribs at all to admit that he’s wondering if it was a mistake to bring Chengling to Five Lakes Alliance. My dude, just steal him back, then. WKX laughs at him and tells him he’s got such a handsome face (true) along with a kind and innocent heart (false, he’s a former government spook and assassin, a part-time ill-tempered gremlin, and a whole-ass troll), and therefore girls will clearly go crazy for him (true, just ask me). ANYWAY, A-Xu, (WKX continues) now that the requisite random no-homo boilerplate is out of the way, are you really thinking of taking on Chengling as a disciple, because now is apparently not too soon to have the adoption conversation about Our Son. I almost expect him to pull out the adoption papers then and there. Instead, he pulls out a story - which is awkwardly placed and kind of clunky, actually, despite being thematically important - of a dog he had once, given to him by Someone Very Important, although of course he’s not going to say who that was (:facepalm:), and his mother warning him that he’d have to take care of it for life, and then he betrayed it.

So, there’s a lot going on here. We’ll eventually find out that ZZS gave Zhen Yan a puppy, so will this story of a gift dog jog ZZS’s memory into realizing that WKX is Zhen Yan without WKX actually telling him, so that WKX can tell his Bundle of Neuroses that it’s not reeeaaallly WKX’s fault ZZS figured it out? Also, WKX sees ZZS being like this about Chengling, and in the Chengling = Zhen Yan equation we’ve already established, is it possible this will prime ZZS to remember another disciple/young boy he took responsibility for, at one point? Of course, on ZZS’s side of things, it’s possible that hearing about this dog that WKX failed is likely to remind him of the way he failed his own responsibility to all the other disciples of Siji Manor, so, excellent way to take a stab at his heart, WKX! However, ZZS breaks the miserable tone we’ve become mired in by smacking WKX, chiding him for comparing their son to a dog, and getting them drinking. See, here, Chengling is the dog. Earlier, the two sisters A-Xiang rescued were the dog. Later, A-Xiang will be the dog. Unfortunately, WKX is going to have a blind spot and never quite realize that, in the Ghost Valley schema he’s set up, the Department of the Unfaithful is also the dog, but we’ll get to that in later eps. For now, cut to later that night: After dinner and a washup, ZZS sits on his bed, and we get some special effects to indicate that his hearing is also giving him problems, so he deploys his special Nightly Nails Torment meditation pose, and then we get the second instance of WKX playing the xiao to help him meditate and rest. (Junjun, your hands on that xiao …) ANYWAY, we get a gorgeous little bit of physical acting from ZZH here that could easily have been overplayed but is nicely restrained and subtle, with just the slightest smile when ZZS realizes WKX is playing, and then his whole body visibly relaxing as he allows himself to sink into WKX’s now-familiar musical embrace the meditation. It is :chef’s kiss:

Cut to next AM, when ZZS is now a very cranky boy, and I get this, because I also am exceedingly irritated when people bust into the room where I’m sleeping with an abundance of cheerfulness and try to get me to interact and do things without at least half an hour to creep my way out of bed, two cups of coffee, and an hour of silence before any attempts to converse like a reasonable human being (I’m looking at YOU, mom), and I don’t even have the excuse of seven Nails pinning me. Also, when WKX whips off the blankets, we learn that ZZH dresses to the right. :hands: I’m just making an observation. So, WKX wants to go to Yuefan Tower like some kind of wide-eyed tourist, and despite some smacking and scowling and death threats, we then smash-cut to the Tower, where ZZS has apparently come to the conclusion that the only way to deal with the ADHD gremlin crawling into his bed is to humor him about this daytrip. I think you could have come up with some more creative ideas that didn’t involve leaving bed, but I guess you’re not the fast one in this relationship, Zhou-ge. Srsly, though, I’m sure WKX would have been happy to do all the work, my dude. (I don’t always have strong top-bottom preferences, but you probably aren’t going to have much luck convincing me that ZZS is not a pillow princess who wants to just lay back and be spoiled. “Aren’t you a very capable man?” indeed. WKX has to do ALL THE WORK, god. I don’t know if I’m swimming against the current here – god knows I was in Inception fandom, where I felt the same way about Eames - but here we are.) Also, I can’t believe WKX didn’t just sit in the bedroom and creep on A-Xu’s beautiful sleeping profile for at least the amount of time it would have taken to drink a pot of tea, another viable option if it was me in this scenario. Tch. What kind of stalker are you, Lao Wen?

ANYWAY, at Yuefang Tower, ZZS tells us about the Four Sages of Anji, a senior-citizen polycule of soulmates who are, conveniently, at this very moment, on a boat in the lake beside the tower, playing music and sword-dancing. This is the first time they’ve been seen in 10+ years, after they put down their various swords and ran off together to live like hippies off-the-grid in the woods, probably skipping around naked, drinking “tea,” and having lots of sex. ZZS sighs wistfully while recounting this tale and calls them “a breath of fresh air.” There’s some discussion and poetry quoting and literary references to soulmates, and somewhere in here we get a shot of ZZS and WKX from behind which makes it super-obvious how hard they’re working the costumes to make Gong Jun look as broad as possible. He’s got the power shoulders on this set of robes, compared to Laopo ZZS’s soft, unstructured, flowing robes, and with those shoulders tapering down to the belted waist, they’ve got Junjun seriously working the Chris Evans Dorito silhouette. Meanwhile, focus back on their conversation: ZZS thinks that “the world is not important, finding a soulmate is,” giving some MAJOR FORESHADOWING for the end of the show (which we are accepting as “Ep” 37 because WE ARE), when we get that icy separation from the rest of the world but they have each other. WKX gives him a yearning look. ZZS looks back … there’s really no other way to put this … coyly, not meeting WKX’s gaze directly. This offers WKX and us a chance to admire his profile once again, thank you, Laopo. ZZS waits until WKX looks back out at the lake before looking at him directly, and his face journey, y’all. He’s thinking that it might not be bad to spend his remaining time with this soulmate, I think he’s starting to re-think the slow suicide, and he’s also thisclose to just letting WKX have him. Y’all, he seriously wants WKX so bad, here. It may be the first time we’ve seen this level of interest from him - it may be the first time, in all that we’ve seen of him, that he allows himself to even have that kind of interest. I think this is the next big step from Ep 6, when he allowed himself to enjoy being desired - now he’s allowing himself to desire, to want something again, other than a chance to drink himself to death in the gutter. This, right here, is a crucial point when he makes the decision to spend whatever time he’s got left living rather than just dying, and I’m flailing on the couch. This is the face of a man who’s ready to Make Some Declarations while getting railed within an inch of his life. SOMEONE IS GETTING SOME TONIGHT. Or he would if he wasn’t going to turn out to be such a fuckup. FFS, WKX.

But first, we cut to a scene of them back at the marketplace, wandering through as WKX mocks various sects in town for the conference – including the Mount Hua boys, who apparently look like virgins make their first trip to a brothel – and ZZS supplies background info on them. WKX asks if ZZS can tell what sect WKX is from, and ZZS calls him a messy bitch before asking if WKX can please stop making him play guessing games about everything and just tell him what WKX so clearly wants ZZS to know. (I know, right? But no, because then WKX might get what he wants, and he’s way too terrified for that, so you have to guess. That way, it’s not his fault when you figure out who he is and reject him, as anyone clearly will do because he’s unlovable and unforgiveable and not even really human, A-Xu.) WKX immediately changes the subject to ramble about the Hero’s Conference and how laughable all the sects are for wanting to be seen as heroes, blah blah blah, rinse and repeat. ZZS comments that only inexperienced people want to be heroes, that experienced people know “every character of the word hero is written in blood,” and yes, the character they’re using for hero, “ying,” is still the same character used in Han Ying’s name (which is not, by the way, the “ying” used in Wei Ying’s name, to cross streams for a moment). ZZS says he’s too old to be a hero (I and my knees feel you, my dude), now he’s just a wanderer, and he asks if WKX wants to be a hero or a wanderer, and WKX says that as a wanderer, all he needs is ZZS, and I’m telling you, someone absolutely would be getting some tonight if only he wasn’t such a fuckup, Lao Wen.

I’m’a try to wrap this up soon, because it’s gotten v. long, but we then cut to that night at the Getting Lucky Inn, ZZS drinking in his room, WKX busting in with his usual dramatic flair, with wine, inviting ZZS up to the roof to drink and look at the moon. He clearly has ulterior motives, but unfortunately for everyone, we’re going to discover they’re not the ulterior motives ZZS is expecting. As they lean back on the roof together, hands almost-but-not-quite touching, a romantic tune playing, WKX tells ZZS that he’s like, really happy! Just super happy! So happy! Ask me why I’m so happy, A-Xu! Spoiler alert: It is, unfortunately, not because he’s getting ready to get some from his laopo. This is particularly unfortunate, because ZZS chooses this moment to take another big step in this relationship, telling WKX that he’s not going to ask about things WKX doesn’t want to tell him, that he’ll wait for whatever WKX wants to tell him. On the surface, this comes off a little bit like, I’m done with asking when you’re not going to answer anyway, but in context – particularly on the back of the earlier scene when ZZS watched WKX turn on a dime and immediately change the subject to avoid exposing anything when ZZS asked WKX to stop making him guess everything – this is as good as a declaration of going all-in. ZZS is committing to this relationship on faith, without having all – or even most – of the answers about WKX, and his approach is going to be to wait until WKX is ready to reveal whatever information he feels safe and comfortable revealing. In practice, he’s going to end up being better or worse at this, depending on the day, but what it reminds me of, already, is that moment in the 20s (Ep 21? 22?) when A-Xiang and Cao Weining are arguing about her killing the beggar guy, he approaches her, she yells at him and points to the ground to indicate exactly how close he’s allowed to get to her, and his respect of that boundary she lays down is instantaneous and absolute. That’s what ZZS is saying he’s going to at least try to do, here. It also reminds me of the way he’s going to respect WKX’s decision on whether or not WKX is going to claim his place as a disciple of Siji Manor, without it affecting their relationship, so we really are starting as ZZS means to go on, here.

Unfortunately, we then find out that what WKX is actually so happy about is that his plan to burn down the jianghu is starting its next big step, and their romantic evening is interrupted by a bunch of dudes fighting and killing each other over a bunch of fake Glazed Armor. WKX mentions that he’s so happy the show’s started; he’s alternately amused, satisfied, and smug as they watch various fights; he seems to be expecting ZZS to also be amused; and I feel like the implication is that this was his real motive for inviting ZZS out onto the roof, to be able to watch this show with him. ZZS – who’s spent enough time standing ankle-deep in blood for six lifetimes and was working hard just a few weeks ago at drinking himself to death to try to forget what that feels like - is displeased and horrified, rather than very proud of what WKX has accomplished; he pushes WKX away from him when WKX approaches him to ask if he doesn’t think it’s all so very amusing; and he calls WKX crazy, then turns his back on him and walks away. To make things worse, the next morning, after WKX brings breakfast to ZZS’s room and actually knocks, only to find that ZZS has left in the middle of the night, WKX will witness an angry mob gathered outside the house in the woods where the Four Sages of Anji are staying for the Hero’s Conference, demanding a piece of the Glazed Armor the Sages are supposedly holding for Gao Chong, and eventually leading to the deaths of all four of these peaceful aging hippies whose commune in the woods was ZZS’s ultimate dream, leaving WKX horrified by the fact that his actions have consequences, including some that are going to make his boyfriend even more pissed off at him.

SO. All that happened. There were some other people in the episode, too:

We see A-Xiang and Cao Weining having lunch. She asks him why he’s not eating, calls him fat and cute, then proceeds to tell him about Ghoul, who likes to eat the faces of pretty boys. Her conversation skills could still use some work. Cao Weining vows to kill the ghosts of Ghost Valley who would do such awful things. A-Xiang actually ignores this slander about the evil of the residents of the Ghost Valley in a way that she doesn’t usually – usually she looks kind of unhappy when the Evilness of the Evil Inhabitants of the Evil Ghost Valley comes up, going all the way back to ZZS’s comments in Ep 2. Right now, she’s too busy pumping Pooh Bear for information, asking about why the Ghost Valley would have left a pile of heads on Yueyang’s doorstep if the Five Lakes Alliance is so great, so what is Five Lakes going to maybe, perhaps, do about this? Cao-dage is suspicious … that A-Xiang might be scared, but don’t worry, he’ll protect her. Oh, sweetheart. I could eat you up with a spoon, right along with Ghoul. Also, it finally registers that A-Xiang called him cute, but she has to step away for a quick confab with a henchwoman.

We also have to watch Chengling get bullied some more by a Yueyang shixiong who I think is Gao Shan, who we’ll later see bullying some prisoners in the Yueyang dungeon as he admits that he’s doing it to relieve his own frustrations and make himself feel better -  fantastic disciples you’ve got there, Gao Chong, I’m super-impressed by the morality and ethics you’re instilling as a sect. Once again, I have to consider WKX’s position on the jianghu as a hive of scum and villainy. Anyway, once Bullying Hour is over, Chengling runs into A-Xiang, and he can’t manage to prevent the waterworks as he confesses that he thought he’d never see any of them again and that ZZS didn’t want him. UGH. Zhou Zishu, come and get your child back. He’s at least somewhat mollified by Xiang-jie telling him she’s been sent to take care of him, and god knows she’s managed to keep WKX fed and clothed this long, so she has some experience as a minder, as counterintuitive as that seems.

We get a quick shot of Han Ying (My Beloved) with two identical pieces of Glazed Armor, apparently realizing that there are fakes out there.

Deng Kuan shows up, beaten and stumbling, and nearly gets turned away at the front gates of his own sect as a beggar – have I mentioned how unimpressed I am by the Yueyang disciples? Deng Kuan appears to be the only one of them worth anything – before they realize who he is. He is put to bed and tenderly nursed by Gao Xiaolian, who cries over him as he won’t wake up.

Finally, Gao Chong, Shen Shen and Zhao Jing (uh-huh) are horrified to discover that there’s fake Glazed Armor fk’n everywhere in town, making Five Lakes Alliance look ridiculous, which is just fabulous as the Hero’s Conference is coming up, guys. Shen Shen, because everything is a nail, vows to kill anyone who makes problems. Later, Hei Zi, who plays Gao Chong, has an utterly fantastic moment after the deaths of the Four Sages (wow, I did not remember that we wrapped up their entire storyline within a single ep), when he’s haranguing Beggar Gang Chief and is literally all, “You want the Glazed Armor? :pulls a piece out of his robe: HERE. You want some more? :pulls another piece out of his robe: TAKE IT.” It’s a great acting moment, his delivery is perfection.

[sophieakatz]

Thursday Thoughts: Marvel What If’s Women Problem

Welcome back to the feminist rant!

I really didn’t intend to spend three weeks in a row writing about the Marvel animated series What If…? But I wanted to see this through.

Last week we talked about this show’s abundant use of the “fridged woman” trope. However, a show doesn’t need to kill its female characters in order to fail them.

Remember that time I made up a feminist movie test? I call it the “Want Test.” You can read the full explanation here, but here’s the summary:

This test requires that a film (or, in this case, an episode of a TV show) has at least one named female character. After watching the show, ask, “Does what the named female character want matter to the plot?” Then, score the movie based on the answer to this question.

If the answer is “Yes, what the named female character wants matters to the plot,” then give the movie a checkmark!”

If the answer is “Yes, AND this is true of multiple named female characters,” then the movie gets a check-plus. If these characters help each other get what they want, the movie gets a check-double-plus!

If the answer is “Yes, BUT her wants are an obstacle to a male character’s goal,” then the movie gets a check-minus. The woman may matter to the plot, but her importance is centered on her relationship to a male character and how much he matters to the plot. Often movies with a check-minus involve a male protagonist actively trying to stop a female character from getting what she wants; while she has an impact on the world around her, the movie isn’t rooting for the woman.

If the answer is “No, what she wants doesn’t matter,” then the movie fails the test. Give it a minus.

Okay, now let’s talk about Marvel What If. Once again, there are spoilers for the first seven episodes of this show below the cut, and some discussion of the plot points in the movies these episodes are based on.

When I compare the first seven episodes of What If to the Want Test, they each barely scrape their way to a check-minus (though after my rant last week, I’m tempted to edit my test so that a show that fridges a female character automatically fails). In summary, it does not matter what most of the named female characters want. Each episode has a single woman whose wants do affect the plot, but what she wants is always some kind of obstacle to a male character’s goal. Even when the women of What If survive the episode, the male characters’ feelings are the primary engine of the show.

As I neared the end of Episode Six, “What If… Killmonger Rescued Tony Stark?” I said to myself, “Well, at least Pepper and Shuri aren’t dead.” But then, in the last minute of the episode, Shuri and Pepper meet and state their intent to take down Killmonger. And I said to myself, “Okay, so why didn’t we get THAT episode?”

Sure, it’s cool to see two smart girls teaming up, but they don’t get to do anything! This episode repeatedly puts Pepper and Shuri down. Every time they express suspicion of Killmonger, someone contradicts them. What they want does not matter. They are obstacles to the men, and they are easily pushed aside, and so all they can do is stand in the background and watch while the boys run around and play war games.

If your named female characters only matter in the last scene of the show, then they don’t really matter. This episode wasn’t about the women at all. It was about the men killing each other and making each other sad.

*

I really don’t want to say much about the seventh episode, “What If… Thor Were an Only Child?”

What I will say is, “Why, why, WHY is Dr. Jane Foster more concerned about hurting the hot guy’s feelings than she is about how the hot guy is about to cause the end of the world?”

And I will also say, “Why does Captain Marvel need to be nice to Thor at the end of the episode after he spent the entire episode being a jackass to her?”

And I will end this section of the blog post by saying, “Frigga deserves so much better than any man in her family has ever given her.”

*

The second episode of this show, “What If… T’Challa Became a Star-Lord?” might be my favorite episode. Mainly because it’s the only one I genuinely liked while I was watching it. It was fun, and I was happy to hear Chadwick Boseman’s voice one more time. Overall, it’s a lovely tribute to both the actor and his character.

But, for me, liking this episode required ignoring a big problem: Nebula and Thanos’s relationship.

We don’t know exactly when in this timeline T’Challa met Thanos and convinced him to give up on the “murder half the universe” plan. But we do know that even before Thanos collected the Infinity Stones, he was roaming the universe slaughtering millions. We know he committed genocide against Gamora’s people the day he “adopted” her, and it’s safe to assume he did the same to Nebula’s. We know that he raised Gamora and Nebula to fight each other, and every time Nebula lost a fight, he replaced a part of her body with cybernetics, constantly torturing her.

What If never tells us that that Thanos did not abuse his daughters. It never tells us that he did not slaughter millions, including his daughters’ birth families. But it does tell us that Thanos is Nebula’s father. And he wouldn’t be her father if he hadn’t been roaming the universe killing people.

In this episode, we see an adult Nebula who seems to think her dad is annoying, but any feelings she might have about how genuinely terrible he is – feelings she was freely willing to admit in the Guardians of the Galaxy movies – go completely unmentioned.

Thanos and Nebula’s relationship is played for laughs, like they just need to get over their past and hug it out. That bothers me a lot. It’s like the show is saying that Nebula’s pain doesn’t matter. What matters is that Thanos is sad she doesn’t want to hang out with him.

I should also point out that in Avengers: Infinity War, Gamora gets fridged. Her feelings are unimportant to the plot; her stated desire to die before she can be used as a part of Thanos’s plot is mocked and discarded. When she is murdered, the moment of her death is all about how it would hurt Thanos to kill her. Gamora’s death also serves as motivation for Peter Quill to sabotage the other heroes’ efforts to stop Thanos.

Gamora is nowhere to be seen in this episode of What If. The women that Thanos abused really don’t matter here at all.

*

I’ve been putting off talking about this show’s pilot episode, “What If… Captain Carter Were the First Avenger?” This episode was… You know, it was fun, in a very similar way to how the Star Lord T’Challa episode was fun. I can’t lie and say I didn’t like seeing super buff Peggy Carter beat the crap out of Nazis. That was a lot of fun.

But the thing I couldn’t stop thinking while watching was, “This isn’t Peggy’s story. It’s Steve’s!”

Peggy Carter may have gotten the super serum in this reality, but Steve Rogers is still the main driving force of the plot. Peggy goes to Germany to save Steve’s best friend. She works with Steve’s allies, the Howling Commandoes, instead of finding her own. Steve’s issues and emotions are central to everything Peggy does; she may say in dialogue that she wants to end the war, but what we see is that Steve is her motivation. In fact, he’s everyone’s motivation – in the scene where Peggy, Bucky, Howard, and the Howling Commandoes decide to go take down Red Skull, they all go around the table and say that they’re doing it “for Steve.” Not because ending the war is the right thing to do, not because they care about the millions of people murdered and tortured by the Nazis – but because they care about Steve.

When I first heard about this show, I thought that Steve was going to die, and that would be why Captain Carter would exist. The interesting/ironic thing here is that the episode pokes at the idea of fridging Steve, but it doesn’t quite have the guts to go through with it. Everyone thinks that Steve died on the train, but then they find him in Red Skull’s castle, and he’s totally fine! Killing off Captain America would have been an interesting, powerful new direction to take the story. But this episode doesn’t seem interested in taking new directions. It seems more interested in showing how things would stay the same even if Steve didn’t get the serum, even if Peggy switched careers from secret agent to superhero, even if Bucky never became the Winter Soldier, even if Red Skull decided to open a portal to tentacle hell. Things just stay the same.

And I don’t get the point of presenting us with a show where there are “endless possibilities” if things are just going to stay the same. If Peggy Carter will still be a side character in Steve Roger’s story. If Hank Pym’s grief still matters more than Janet and Hope Van Dyne’s lives. If Thanos will still never be held accountable for abusing Gamora and Nebula. If Doctor Strange is still an arrogant jackass. If the only realities we see are ones where men get to act and feel, and women get to be plot devices.

The truth is that the Watcher just isn’t interested in showing us realities where women live and thrive in their own right. For all its emphasis on how different decisions can cause dramatic changes to reality, the creators of What If have no real investment in making different decisions in how they portray female characters. It’s just more of the same.

I’m done thinking about this show. Let’s talk about something else next week, okay?

Be good to yourself, be kind to each other, and you’ll hear from me again soon!

[its-chelisey-stuff]

Word of Honor eps 11-20 (many confusing thoughts ft. the feels)

Well, the drama has finished airing (and I’ve seen a bunch of spoilers lol) but I’m watching it on youtube so every rant and ramble you read here is gonna be a pretense of me not really knowing the story and that includes what I know from reading the novel because it’s confusing to keep in mind what happens in both since the drama diverted quite a bit from the source. All that matters is that we got a happy ending, so now I can enjoy the delicious angst, pining and romance freely and without worries.

On the plot

I didn’t have enough of GuXiang and CWN in these eps but at least they’re safe and together, for now. They’re gonna romance each other and will eventually reunite with main OTP and their kid (who looks like a little Wang Yibo to me lol). And Ye BaiYi (aka captain of the WenZhou ship) has made his first appearance and wants to help save ZZS. Btw I love his dynamic with WKX, it’s hilarious!

Now, I’m a bit confused about the names and faces and who’s bad, and who’s not so bad but the main baddie has been revealed and it looks like the dude is controlling the Scorpion King via daddy issues which yikes. I’m worried that it looks like WKX doesn’t know who is pulling all the strings because that shows that his plan for revenge isn’t perfect and if he was wrong about Gao Chong, then he can be wrong about other, bigger things and that isn’t good.

Also, some of the valley ghosts want to take WKX out of the picture, which is of course not surprising considering killing the current leader is the only way to succession of what it seems like a dictatorship. What a nightmare to live in tbh, I’m surprised WKX is functional enough to walk so nonchalant and elegantly in public and that he managed to raise an equally functional GuXiang. But I guess that’s because he wanted to survive and get the justice/revenge he feels he deserves (I’m on his side, btw), so he had to act like a madman while trying to keep his sanity. He has some glitches,of course, but he did well, all things considered.

Which takes me to the whole Five Lakes Alliance and their “friendship”, which imo went to hell 20 years prior to the start of the story, and they all pretended for two decades, because they all wanted the Armory and each had a piece to get into it. Is it bad that I don’t feel that bad for them? Maybe just about little Chengling’s dad but other than that...*shrugs* Plus, their actions brought terrible consequences for innocents, namely WKX’s family.

On the love story

The romance is delightful!! On ep 11 WKX went to rescue little Yibo but found out ZZS was also there so he went full-on killer mode so hot because how dare these scorpion killers hurt his man? They made up (with he help of their adoptive son) and even took their time to have dates and enjoy a lot of alcohol until ZZS went “my dude, tell me the truth, you’re Rong Xuang’s son, aren’t you?” to which WKX offended, replied “Honestly? No, how fucking dare you?” but it is a theme with these two to part dramatically after an argument and then reunite in dramatically gay fashion when ZZS is in danger, which actually happened 3 times in these ten eps.

The reveal of ZZS’s condition to WKX was PERFECTLY done. I love gorgeous men crying and being all angsty under the rain so that scene with OTP afterwards was delicious and then WKX sadly playing the flute while getting drenched and reciting poetry (GONG JUN IS AMAZING AS WKX!!!!!!) has definitely become one of my fave moments so far. I love that despite their short time together, you can see and feel the bond between the two and that there’s a side of them, a vulnerable one, that they only show to the other and that’s how I believe in the depth of their feelings (plus the arguments and shared near death experiences lol you can’t beat those). You don’t need lots of time to actually get to know a person, and after the few weeks(?) of a rollercoaster of emotions these two have shared, it isn’t weird they’ve become soulmates.

We know ZZS has accepted his fate and is happy with the way things will end for him. He said it himself, he just wants a peaceful life or a peaceful death, and while the former is out of reach or so he thinks, he can certainly make reality the latter. I understand that he is perfectly happy as is, because he achieved his goal after years of being a muderous puppet and meeting WKX is like the perfect ending, a last blessing. However, that’s not the case with WKX. He hasn’t achieved his goal yet, he doesn’t have the same peacefulness and acceptance as ZZS. He has a lot of rage and hate inside him and he had just set his plan into motion when he met ZZS and although that hasn’t changed his mind about his revenge it has made him want things he didn’t know he even wanted before. Now he desperately wants a life with him. So finding out that the man he’s fallen for, is dying, is a cruel twist of fate, another one in his life. Why allow him to meet ZZS when he will lose him in a couple of years?

Anyway, as a man with a mission, WKX had to suck it all back up and go watch the shit show he thought he always wanted to see, which ended super bad. And at this point I don’t even know if WKX knows what he’s doing anymore or if the drama is fooling me they might be succeding.

cough cough eye sex cough cough 

 After a total of 3 caves, declaring their love for each other (ep 18 min 17:50), rolling on the grass super gay, saving their son yet again and a tragic backstory later, ZZS comes to understand who WKX really is and his heart broke as well as mine and everyone’s because damnnnnn that was heavy (but also, I wasn’t expecting the childhood friends trope, but I don’t I mind it, in fact I like it as it reinforces the narrative that OTP are meant to be). What broke me even more is that, amidst all that, WKX still has the state of mind to worry about ZZS’s health and ask if it’s possible to save him with the YingYang book of the Healer Valley. He might act like a monster but he isn’t one. If he was, he wouldn’t have compassion for others and that huge capacity he has for loving. Come to think of it, maybe it’s the terrible life he’s had what makes him being all devoted to the person he loves, to love without holding anything back.

Of course ZZS isn’t short of affection for his man, because while his love is on the more quiet, much more subtle side, he is always paying attention to WKX and is visibly worried about him and this hatred he has for the people of the alliance as well as his plan for revenge.

I just love how we went for “oh, they might like each other, but they each have their emo baggage and ZZS doesn’t look too willing to take on WKX’s troubles or even understand him” to “yep, they’re soulmates, they’re in this together and ZZS won’t let darkness eat WKX away and WKX will risk it all to save his man”. It’s beautiful.