#i go in a tag for a thing i liek to see other ppl liking it? why

[mockiery]

i haven't hyperfixated on a show with so little tumblr presence in so fucking long, if ever. this is torturous, how do ppl do this. i am starving in a desert, crawling like a beast upon the sands

[celestiallyslimy]

dear systems(?) of tumblr; (a genuine ask/vent)

i've been showing signs of dissociative identity disorder, and would like to know what people who do have the disorder see my experience as. disclaimer; i have not done much research on dissociative identity disorder, and i am tagging this with tags related to the content of the vent to reach an audience with actual knowledge on dissociative identity disorder, not because i think i have it. i hope that the way i tag doesnt offend people.

buffer for s/a(?), gaslighting, and ed mention also in case you dont wanna hear my sob story and want to know my actual ask, the actual ask is highlighted. the tldr is in red

so, when i was not even ten, my younger sisters would lick my boobs and try humping me and holding me down to slap my bare buttcheeks. my parents didn't help me at all, they said that they're too young to know it was sexual and i should set my own boundaries. i've had dreams about it but im unsure whether i should actually label it as s/a since my sisters are younger than me and less mature. i've also been told small things like "this song is called (example)" only to be told "i've never heard of that song, no it's called (example 2)" since i was 5. this has led to me questioning my identity, and not in the "im not cishet" way, and more of the "how old am i? am i even fourteen? was i even born as (deadname)?" way where i dont know my surroundings. until i was 6-7, i would assume everything i believed was a dream and end every sentence with "but yeah it was probably just a dream and not real". and then, there's my sisters body shaming me AT EIGHT until i started showing signs of bulimia and anorexia (although, my experiences have only aligned with certain systems and i have never seen a therapist, im NOT saying im diagnosed). they would make fun of my for my boobs, stomach, arms, etc.

i've been having multiple "personalities"? not really identities. i mean, the ones i make a distinction with (such as my blogs; i have three blogs right now) use different names and pronouns. but there are other ones with different habits and typing quirks. they never really manifest irl (other than my names, but all the ppl irl know (not my family) is that i go by salem, millie, and eris). sometimes, i dont want to speak at all, sometimes i talk way too much, other times, "i talk liek thizz :333 X333". my main blog, starrinymph, (even tho i dont use it much) goes by ambrose; but i go by ambrose a lot online. this blog (celestiallyslimy) goes by orion, daughterofnoridoorman, for fictionkin content, goes by sage, uzi, and v. it feels weird to put my names/pronouns that i use on one blog on another but i've been doing it anyways because i want to be consistent. but, even when im using a different personality than my basic one, i dont have gaps in my memory. i can switch between these identities voluntarily, but once it happens subconsiously (i dont know a better word), it doesnt really go away. and if i purposefully try and suppress it, then, i start getting anxious, and get the need to pick at my skin and hair. its also sometimes like i can hear different "people" in my head. if it helps, i've also shown signs of other disorders from many quizzes (i would get a professional diagnosis if i could), such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, borderline personality disorder, adhd, and more.

tldr; i've had experiences at the age where i was supposed to develop that many would consider to be "traumatic". i am wondering if me having multiple personalities (which i can choose to act as, but can not actively switch out of if it happens on its own, and usually only has changes in typing/ minor changes in personality) may be a sign of dissociative identity disorder.

[chanquokka]

Here's A Little Get-To-Know-You Tag Game!

Tagged by: de wonderfulest ppl @noonaracha @straykidsgallery and @itsstraykids thank you sm!!! (go appreciate their cool point stories!)

Name(s): juni! is what i decided. some friends on this hellsite also call me solar so wtv u prefer. atp i just have a bunch of nicknames bcs i also have a Weird Name, A Weirder (Family) Nickname in real life

Pronouns: he/she/they/it<3 when i say feel free. pls and thank u

Star Sign: libra, right when it starts (and just a day after seungmin's!)

#of Siblings And Fun Facts About Them(if u have any): one (1) younger gremlin brother, and the funnest fact abt them is that he has been a walking directory of telephone no's since he was 4 and now can be relied upon to calculate large numbers inside his head in point seconds. Still hates physics(and most things theory)> by which, he also stores insane and inane amount of stats info (abt all types of things, but mostly sports) inside his head ready to be flourished at a moments notice, which is mildly impressive when ur 6 and debating with college students the scores of a game that happened 15yrs before u were born but not now when ur 17 and ppl are more focused on your test scores rather than ones u know, so</3 also has his birthday on changbin's but he doesnt know abt that

#of Pets: there's a history there. with fishes that my ma deceived me with on my 12th birthday(when i asked for a pet, i imagined smth i could hold) and then liked too much herself that we had them for 5yrs. three times; birds, but my brother kind of freed them while singing a lullaby with only me as an unbelieving witness. a dog (belovedest of em all) my dad picked from street as a puppy and who, then, had to be given away after 3yrs bcs of Stupid Reasons im still mad abt. now i just have street cats showing up at my front door to safekeep their babies on my staircase's isolated nooks till they grow up and vanish and street dogs who believe i have endless supplies of treats and show me sad faces when i dont. i really want a pet</3 but for now im contending with pictures of kitties whose moms operate on strict 'see-dont-touch' policies and sweet sweet strays who like to befriend u too easy.

Fandoms: many, but rn im active mostly in skz and mxtx. id love to be in other stuff i read and watch but since Capitalism hates me dearly,,,

Favorite Color: darker shades of all and any colors(esp blue green and red)!!! can be relied upon immensely to look warm and pretty always

Favorite Song: picking favorites for anything is out of my capabilities. also am just listening to my favorite bollywood playlist a lot these days.

Favorite Author: have a working list of favorite poets that does not end at 1. have not read a book seriously in four years of exam/prep-locking. but even if i did, idt ill be able to pick any favorite bcs, yk. good things in many things. (tldr; its roald dahl) (and ruskin bond who i read when i was 5 and still read when im so tired bcs his stories inspire me to write always)

Hobbies: I dance(perform) sometimes? I write??(←derogatory, dubious) make stuff, mostly poems and stories and tinker with free things i can do, both online or craft. analysis of things with friends is a beloved activity. i liek yoga and stretching (rn in an ongoing war with 3° winter mornings to drag myself out of bed and go to class at 6) cooking when i have time but mostly, always, reading (or! watching) stories, poems and learning abt cool nonfiction things (does crying abt fiction count)

Favorite Holiday: none of the above its the trips and getaways u make for yourself. all my beloved memories are always mostly from when our family makes a trip to someplace my mom insists or there's a non-worrying emergency to go somewhere. just family getting together under some pretense, even tho it is stressful as fuck.

Do You Have Any Partner(s): persuading my best friend atm but sadly she's straight</3(no lmao)

Fun facts about you/anything extra you wanna share!: since im having it rn- coffee doesnt keep me up or sometimes even makes me nod off, a fact i discovered after my 14yr old brain had the brilliant idea to try out the cool, forbidden drink after dinner knowing i wasnt allowed to. this is not fun to my ma but growing up in a sort of restrictive household, im also just weirdly good at sneaking and doing stuff im not supposed to without getting caught. i also do not know how to talk in lesser words. this is an absolute curse, yes i have tried. beware</3

this^ is a mess but thank u i had fun!! lemme tag: @winterfloral @syannie @hyunhomoons @quokki @chogiwow @agibbangs @rainknow @lixence @hyunebear @straykidsgallery @jerirose @ambivartence @hongjoongpresent + anyone who wishes to! apologies if tagged already!

[ecxz]

 ..   welcum 2 my blog!1!!    ..

       read my dni n' shit if ya wanna stick around ^_^

     POST CWS:

    flashing      blood       bugs    creepy imagery         eyestrain       

      DNI:

-not 15+ (i don't mind if you look at my art but pls don't interact/talk to me since it makes me uncomfortable, thanks) -basic dni criteria (+ any other nasty bullshit) -proshippers/frans shippers (or if u support pedophillia) -ppl who bully others 4 bein themselves or "cringe" (u genuinely fuckin suck if u do this dude, get a life)

      INT:

-15+ (obviously) -undertale fans (base game or aus/multiverse) -smiling friends, movieunleashers (PLEASE), mp100, inside job, unicorn wars, ptp, pmmm (other stuff i liek) -ppl who fw bloodhound gang (plsplsplspl) -ppl who draw my ocs (pls tag me I will literally rip you to shreds like a happy dog)

      abt me:

-my name is damien. im 17 and autistic -i post whenever so it's inconsistent (no posting schedule, kinda wanna keep it that way tbh) -biggest special interest rn is undertale (i get hyperfixated on things pretty easily which may lead 2 periods of posting other shit lol, i.e smiling friends) -i like old internet/2000's stuff

      TAGS:

MY ART: #exczart UNDERTALE ART: #undertale OC ART: #ocs FANART: #fanart ASKS/REQUESTS: #asks

         socials: youtube and tumblr

      asks and requests are open!!

 u can use my art as pfps just credit me or wtv. or like if ur inspired by me or drew    somethinf for me pls tag me i love 2 see it is never a bother......

yea go follow my friends they are hella cool and make cool stuff yea yea

@ soupnoddles @ kamuslayer @ ren-doesthings

last updated: 9. 20. 2024

[kazpurr]

1, 3, 6, 7, 8, 10, 14, 15, 21, 22, 24

theres a good reason im putting this on my main and not my warrior cats sideblog because i think id be torn to shreds on there if i put any of these there lmao

1. the character everyone gets wrong

everyone is wrong about them but me (i like them) : nightheart, bramblestar, jayfeather, crowfeather, breezepelt, rootspring, bristlefrost, berryheart, curlfeather

everyone is wrong about them but me (i despise them) : nightcloud, ivypool, sparkpelt, lionblaze, shadowsight

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

these

trust me theres more but im lazy lol

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

im so sorry but anyone who ships squirrelflight with anyone are the most annoying people bc they only ship her with other cats besides bramblestar to make a point. her canon mate sucks so they have to ship her with the next worse choice . every squirreldaisy shipper would call you slurs for shippihg squirrelmoon. squirrelmoon shippers will kill you for shiping squirrelleaf. all 3 of them would kill you if you said you shipped squirrelbramble

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

squirrelflight. this is why im not putting this on my warriors blog LMAO im sorry i cant stand the way the fandom talks about her. every time a new book comes out people ignore everything to be liek "squirrelstar was written out of character. we need to kill erin hunter about this" like holy FUCK you guys need to shut up i am this close to blocking the squirrelflight / squirrelstar tag + filtering out any posts with her name in it i swear to god. shes a fine character but everyone makes liking her their entire personality trait and shes like the one character that if you dislike her you're sexist... fuck me man

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

any opinion that involves another character who did bad things but apologized and no longer does bad things. ie crowfeather who had a shit relationship with breezepelt, apologized, and have since moved on and improved their relationship. but people still insist crowfeather needs to be "punished" or worst of all go to the dark forest. like. crowfeather's trial (his super edition) was all about him regaining the respect of his ex mate and child...

10. worst part of fanon

the ships. sorry 90% of all fanon ships or things ppl want to be canon are just awful. i cant stand any jayfeather or squirrelflight ships, and they end up making these relationships their entire personality. "this is my warriors rewrite, jayfeather instead becomes mates with poppyfrost!!!!!! then they have babise and jayfeather personally kills berrynose (poppy's canon mate) and bramblestar and all the evil people and then he becomes leader and he and poppyfrost have 29859 babies together !!!" you will be boiled. into the pit with you

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

honestly i don't read a lot of warriors fics. BUT. i will say the one thing that boils my blood is when people change the names of things in universe and make it so far disconnected from warrior cats that it cant even be called that. "the river colony" "thunder clowder" "the roles are Chief Commander, Second In Command, Doctor , Herbalist, Seer, Hunter , Fighter, Monarch, and The Wise Ones!" "warrior name are instead typed as The (Prefix) (Suffix)!" "firestar's leader name will be changed to Star Firethunder!" shut uppppp shut up shut up i want to tear you apart with my teeth i HATE THIS an UNBELIEVABLE AMOUNT

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

nightheart being orange . stop it. stop it stop it stop it

i also dont like it when warriors designs are extrmely unrecognizeable. bluestar is. well. blue. but the amount of times ive seen her drawn with black fur, green eyes, or white fur and dark blue eyes, or as like a blue tabby with green eyes, or something liek that it just makes me go. who the fuck is that

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

i think a lot of warriors villains are pretty overhyped. maybe thats just me i dont really see the appeal in most of them. though i like this current arc's villains, curlfeather splashtail and berryheart, i dont really find anything good about like. darktail or sol or hawkfrost. not even as characters bc To Me there's like nothing going for them. hawkfrost was the big bad of arc 2 but being evil was his entire personality and so he was just boring to read about, but he's easily the most overhyped villain out of like . All of them

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

this ones hard bc warrior cats is so constantly overanalyzed and picked apart that no one really "ignores" anything. i guess a more easier question is something that people dont acknowledge enough or do anything with and thats like. anything to do with starclan, really. when starclan comes up people only bring up the fact that in canon its all corrupt and evil but instead of playing into that idea (because honestly, its really cool, whether the books intend to portray it that way or not) they instead try to make it perfectly good and not evil instead of rolling with it. like come on we need more ocs with religious trauma !!! lmao

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

nightheart . say his name anywhere and youll get either ppl who are ike "YES I LOVE NIGHTHEART AND I HATE ALL WOMEN!!!!!" or people who are like "YES I HATE NIGHTHEART AND I HATE ALL MEN!!!!!!!!" and theres no in between and neither person is right

also anything about any age gaps whatsoever. me personally i think 90% of warriors age gaps are inherrently flawed and bad (ie older adult warrior male pines after young apprentice she-cat and become mates as soon as the apprentice becomes a warrior) but also theres people who have claimed that completely normal relationships that started when both parties were several years old are the smame thing (ie thornclaw and blossomfall, or thrushpelt and bluestar). its just something where no one wins lol no matter what side ur on

@hyperlinkblocked1997 there i finally answered ur ask sorry this took like 3 hours LMAO

[curiouskurona]

 ( for context , this was originally a comment on this post but i tend to be long winded / i could tell it was gonna get long so i decided to just maek my own post bsdjhgfkjdhgja . also abuse discussion tw for tha following + tha post i linked to , as well as spoilers for Princess Tutu )  

 ive made my peace with rue and fakir-- well , not 100% completely absolutely , but ive come a long long way from where i was when i first watched tha show , where i hated fakir SO much , and i had more sympathy for rue but wasn't fond of her either . in fact , where before i was adamant that i hated fakir , i can say i actually liek him now . didnt think i would ever get to this point lol . and i liek rue as well , though her turn around came easier for me          

 i feel like i would have warmed up to them a lot faster if liek . they got ANY consequences for their actions . im not talking about either of them being sad / having other troubles , im not talking about cosmic punishment / karma , i mean direct consequences for the way that they treated mytho . ive heard people argue that " well mytho doesnt have feelings so it doesnt matter how they treated him " , but that argument falls flat fast when you point to tha fact that they both KNEW mytho was getting his feelings back , and they did absolutely nothing to change their behavior . hell , they might have even treated him worse , because of the stress of tha situation or whatever . fakir pushed mytho's face against the mirror and said " look at this repulsive face thats regained the feeling of loneliness " . rue backed away unsettled when she saw mytho smile . there is no argument of " well he didn't feel anything " or " well they didn't realize " . they knew what they were doing   

 and they kind of just ... get away with it . they dont really have to acknowledge the way that they treated him past an almost throwaway line from fakir in the end where hes liek " damn i was kinda mean huh "         

 i would probably be moar forgiving about it if they got ANY sort of consequences ( narratively or through fandom perception ) for their actions , but most ppl dont really care enough about mytho for that . and seeing his situation be largely ignored made me defensive and bitter towards them [ fakir and rue ] . as a trauma survivor myself ( who heavily relates to mytho ) it was a really high hurdle for me to look at them , fakir especially , in a positive light , regardless of whether or not i could recognize their own traumas / understand why they did som of tha things they did .  

  and yeah ppl change n whatever . wounds can heal , relationships can be mended . but fakir never even tried to mend theirs . mytho never got any closure or an apology or anything and it just sucks so much . i mean yeah he got to tell fakir off as r!mytho during that one battle . but most of him being all * evil laughter * at fakir wasnt even him , you can see he doesnt even consider himself that person when hes staggering back to his dorm clutching his heart going “ what are you , who are you , whats goin on ” . mytho got to be a lil scoundrel to fakir as r!mytho but thats not tha saem as any meaningful acknowledgement / apology on fakir’s part      

 and im just . idk . im hesitant to put this in any tags , i dont think i will . bc i know ppl love fakir . but liek . please . can we at least acknowledge what he did . or are we going to keep pretending that his worst offense is being abrasive / grumpy . im sorry to have to tell you this but fakir’s ( and rue’s * ) behaviour towards mytho is literal actual textbook abuse . they isolate him , control him , berate him , lock him up , get in his face and yell at him , manhandle him , tell him who he can talk to , tell him what he can read , tell him that he has to listen to them and no one else . liek . hello . i know you dont want to hear this about ur fave characters but theyre abusers . its not even subtext its just THE text    

 the fact that fakir grows softer after meeting ahiru is irrelevant . him treating ahiru better as the series goes on does not mean that he is treating mytho better as the series goes on . him softening up and growing into a better person is not equal to an apology or any kind of closure or comfort for mytho  

 and dont even get me started on how mytho and rue should not have ended up together . no piece of media is perfect , i do have some things is disliek about PT , and one of them is definitely the ending unfortunately . but thats another post . and its purrobably not even for tha reasons you might think i have    

 also , this is not to say that i think fakir or rue are evil , or that they dont care / never cared about mytho . i dont think its as black and white as that . fakir and rue arent such one dimensional characters , silhouettes laughing evilly to themselves as they take joy in hurting him . i dont think that the fact that fakir abused mytho means he was never worried about him or didnt care about him . i dont think tha fact that rue abused mytho means that she never cared about him either . its messy . they were all put into a very straining situation . ive talked in other posts acknowledging the strain fakir was under , and ive talked at length with friends about why rue felt the need to act the way she did , too . but that doesnt make what they did okay . and i just wish that mytho got any sort of apology , closure , or comfort . instead of everyone going “ well glad thats over !! lets move on with our lives while pretending we all [ sans ahiru ] didnt just abuse mytho this entire show “       

 anyways this post isnt very organized and i purrobably didnt maek any sense . i was just rambling i guess . this is something that ive thought about a lot    

 * if youve noticed im leaning harder into fakir rn , its purrobably bc ppl are moar willing to acknowledge rue’s behaviour . shes loved as an evil gal girlboss or whatevar , even if its often joaky ppl are moare ready to go “ yeah lol rue was so fucked up “ , and have made a lot of serious fanart about the toxicity of her relationship with mytho too . but for tha moast part ppl shy away from putting fakir in any serious negative light . aside from a few posts ive seen ( that were a breath of fresh air honestly ) that talked about his actions , moast ppl portray fakir as someone whos grumpy and abrasive , kind of a jerk , maybe even a “ tsundere “ , but ultimately harmless . so i guess im harder on fakir for that . because im frustrated that ppl only care about shipping him with ahiru , and are more than ready to downplay how horrible he was to mytho so that they can pretend its all sunshine and rainbows with him or something . again it goes back to them receiving no direct consequences for their actions , narratively OR through fandom perception . rue is at least acknowledged as someone that doesnt have a totally great track record , in tha fandom                   

[pi-kin-ic]

welcome to tha picnic !!

sit down on our gingham blanket and help yourself to some sunshine , refreshments , and good company !! :o)

this picnic themed kin blog is a small project run by one mod , who wont be active 24/7 !! that being said , i think doing stuff liek this is rad and fun , and im always happy to fulfill requests wen i have tha tiem . learn moar abt tha mod here !!

small edit : requests dont have to be for kins / fictives necessarily !! i enjoy making these things ( stimboards , buy packs , etc ) so i will take requests for general themes , like " pink mouse stimboard " or " kidcore / lovecore buy pack " ♡

requests : open !! :D

inbox : 0

what's offered at tha picnic :

stimboards

moodboards

buy packs ( basically a collection of items + links to buy those items that fit tha criteria you give me !! )

a listening ear !! feel free to just gush about your fave characters in my inbox , or talk about yourself / your canon :o)

when requesting . . .

mandatory : give me a character + source ( if wanting something related to a piece of media , but im open foar general requests now too !! :3 )

optional : give me a theme , colour scheme , price range ( if applicable ) , anything you DONT want included , any other helpful details

note that i may have other comments / resources when i answer your ask , so do check back please !! for example i may have an overflow of items for a buy pack and will post them in the answer . if youve asked anonymously ( and therefore wont get notified when i answer ) , you can go through my #anons tag or sort by asks in my archive !! :o)

i reserve tha right to refuse any requests for any reason at all !! you can see a list of blacklisted sources / characters here , and a list of whitelisted sources / characters here !! :D

other rules to be aware of :

no bigotry allowed . this includes ( but is not limited to ) racism , antisemitism , LGBTphobia , abelism , zionism , etc

fictive =/= kin , i know this , im literally a system . but systems are welcome to request things as well if they wish , and i use fictive tags as well since posts are often applicable for fictives as well ( an aesthetic board doesnt necessarily have to be for one or the other ) . please let me know if you rather i use or not use either tags , as i will default to both !!

those who refer to themselves as " pr.oshipp.ers " / " an.ti anti.s " are not welcome here . please do not interact

ñsfw / k!nk / d.dl.g / c.gl.(re) ppl are not welcome here . i am extremely uncomfortable with this . i am also uncomfortable with non-systems who use the terms " l!ttle " and " l!ttles.pace " . please do not interact

sfw age regressors who are not in any way associated with c.gl(re) are welcome

you can be uncomfortable with doubles , but invalidating others on my posts / in my ask box is not allowed and will get you blocked . how you feel on your own blog is your prerogative , but this blog is a doubles friendly space , to avoid drama and to avoid hurting others feelings

i preemptively block people who fit my dni . i also block people who dont source their gifs !!

thats all i can think of for now !! pinned will be updated as needed . i hope everyone has a good tiem !! ^^ 💖🌈🍀

[kulliare]

.

[3416]

Hey Emma, here's something I wanted to share.

I am was planning on writing few fics on both Sobbe and ELU but lost confidence, been thinking what if people don't appreciate the crappy writing. What should I do now? 😐🤦😭

hey there! i'm sorry you feel disheartened about your work!! i've always been of the opinion that if you're making things with other people's satisfaction and validation in mind ONLY then they'll hardly ever get done, and when they do, you won't be happy with the reception either way. i totally understand that that's a major motivating factor and sometimes there IS a lack of appreciation (i've felt both, don't get me wrong at all here), but writing especially, i think you just have to treat the experience like practice?? write what YOU want to go back and read, ya know? befriend a couple people to help you and hype you up when you need motivation to keep going. as cheesy as it sounds, i think you're going to have to want to write more than you're scared of lack of interest, and maybe you don't want to and that's okay too!!!! if it makes you feel unhappy and underappreciated, you shouldnt do it!!! if writing is something you love, then all i can encourage is practice, and i know for sobbe at least, people will be grateful bc we're in a sobbe DROUGHT RN. anyway, there is just no feasible way i can promise you the feedback you want but maybe reframe how you're looking at the writing process in general or get a small hype squad or person to help you out... because sometimes we all need that too!! hope you're having a good one and this helped ❣️❣️❣️

[miserybegins]

ok i gotta say it i have been seeing a LOT of BOLD opinions on the tl and i feel like i just have to get this off my chest because it has been bothering me that i feel like i can’t be myself on my own blog...

tons of ppl already know this but suddenly there is this huge deal about it but YES i personally believe there was a romantic relationship between frank and gerard. if you want to unfollow me for that fact alone thats fine theres nothing i can do lol if its that serious to you. i dont talk about it nearly as much as i used to before i remade but if i do i do tag it as ‘frerard’ so that you can blacklist it.

now im gonna go under the cut to explain my side of it, this is NOT proof of any kind or me trying to convince you its just me defending myself in light of some of the opinions i’ve seen recently

so to start i will say that i have been in this fandom for a long time. i lived through a lot of it and i made conclusions on what i saw. believing that there was a romantic relationship between them was pretty much standard for a really long time which is why im so confused now as to what happened in the few months between me losing my blog with 19k followers where i talked about frerard and no one cared to now where i see people being really aggressive over it...anyway

so like yea i grew up with it. its just a part of the mcr story to me. most of my friends that i follow tours with that have been long time fans feel the same. we’re respectful about it entirely, would never say anything to them god forbid or like i wont even mention it on twitter where someone liek frank could stumble upon it.

now for the misconceptions. i know one of the number ones is that its like a straight girl fantasy. i personally am trans masc and gay so that one is out the window. i think my identity has something to do with it bc i see tenderness between two men and im like wish that were me babey! but also “fantasy” is a terrible word for it because in my opinion of what happened between them its not...a happy story entirely. and i dont think theres anything like that between them now, i KNOW theyre in love with their wives entirely, i just think there is more to the story between them.

i saw a REALLY BOLD...and quite frankly infuriating take that people “ship” frerard inherently think that gay men can’t keep their hands off each other and sexualize them and think that the only reason they could have done the projekt rev stuff is because they couldn’t control themselves....which.....nah. projekt rev stuff is like on the BOTTOM of my list of reasons i believe there was a relationship between them. it was just so insulting to me to see that. i think a lot of the people who are so against it have like no concept of what people like me actually think...

also saw a take that frerard is a sin but thinking something happened between bert and gerard is fine. which is just annoying to me cause...theres plenty of proof for both and i dont think you can demonize something people are doing when you’re doing the same thing yourself that is all i will say!

and lastly: fanfiction. seen a lot of hate for fanfiction. most of you know i love unholyverse. it is just fine literature. i dont see the problem with fanfiction, to me the characters in fanfiction are so far removed from the real people, its just easier to get into a story when you have an idea of the characters already, idk. my thing is that i really don’t read any new fanfic, i read the old ones that i love and have read for years because i love the story.

but also i dont get why people are trying to renounce fanfiction when gerard has quite litrally said he doesnt care. he live tweeted himself reading a milk enema fanfic of people who were basically colleagues of his. there is no high horse for you to be on here lol.

anyway at the end of the day thats kind of my take on it, i just have been so annoyed by some of the takes ive seen recently and its made me afraid to like be myself on my blog. its not something i post about all the time or even every day anymore but it is a part of the mcr story to me so sometimes i will mention it i guess! idk why i felt like i needed to defend myself so much but i did if you read it all this way and still are angry about it feel free to message me and we can chat about it

[flandesuka]

Yo you should answer all of these scene questions👀👀

:OOO

you think so lad???? shit dawg i was thinkin just a few at a time but if that what u want my dear nonnie i will supply

1. wats ur scene name?

i was thinkin maybe ‘gods mistake’ would be a good one but then. i found a way to make it both danganronpa related, and, even better, a fucking pun as well. ‘kamukura kamukura jasqueen’, or just ‘kamukura jasqueen’ for short is good k thxxx

2. describe ur dream outfit!

oooo gosh this ones trickyy!! there are so many good outfits out there, especially in the scene community!! but it’d have to have a few tiny elements of dr cosplay to add a lil of my dangan-weeb culture in there ofc! more specifically, id really love to get one of kazuichis jumpsuit and just wig out and add shit like this just because i could:

(id just rlly love going out in all those glowy/shiny things at night like all that haha..and yes the shoes would probably kill me/my fuckin feet if i tried to walk in them but shut up i love them theyre cute as fuck)

3. describe ur dream haircut!

oo another tricky one!! i do like my regular hair, and honestly id be lying if i said i didnt love ibuki’s hairdo too but id defs have to go with something like this!!

yaaaassss, so pretty and spikeeeey! maybe id dye my natural hair colour black and/or add some funky colours if i ever actually got this style down!

4. describe ur dream room!

i have a lot of ideas for dream bedrooms actually, but heres a visual image of one of them i found!!!

MIKU ROOM MIKU ROOM MIKU ROOM MIKU ROOM

(this specific idea arose mainly just for the aesthetic but i also find it super cute and a good environment to be in general hhhnnggg)

5. if u could make anything out of kandi, wat would u make?

oh you mean those colourful beads and bracelet things??? i love those man!!! theyre so visually appealing to me aaaaa…id probably just make a fuck-ton of those and most probably use the little letter beads to say random words/phrases like ‘aubergine’ and ‘despacito’ knowing my shitposter self lmaooo! id definitely make a sansmaeda themed one too thoo fr

6. wat would u write on ur shoez?

it’d probably range from things like a simple kaomoji doodle to something randum and stupid like ‘seesaw’ bc yes asjnd

7. wat kinda piercingz/tattooz do u hav/want?

i dont think i rlly want any real piercings (at least not atm) but id totally go for those fake stick-on gemstone lookin’ ones! and as for tattoos, i cant rlly see myself gettin one of those rn either, but id want something like a mario power-up, preferably the bell one/cat suit powerup!!! its my favorite powerup and its sooo cute!!!

8. fave genrez?

i dont rlly have a specific genre, i like most kinds of music, but i rlly like energetic music that i can dance tooo!!! >w

9. fave bandz?

im a big fan of gorillaz and botdf!!! i like p!atd as well but havent listened to it in a while.. gatta catch up loool

10. fave songz?

my favs alternate a lot, but atm im super into ‘slow dancing in the dark’ by joji!!! so much emotiooon quq…also rlly hooked on botdf and jefree star’s ‘sexting’ tooo lmaooo

11. fave lyricz?

‘The world keeps spinning Among this sinning Oh what a cruel and disgusting place The purest moonlight Is bloodied by plight And screaming resonants But somehow I know That it’s all for show The world will reveal it’s true beauty soon And we’ll all reach towards the moon ‘

its so deep but its from a fucking kaito momota fansong and i love that asnkjdnefe

12. hav u evr been to a concert?

not in a damn long while my lad,, rip australians not havin many artists they like from other countries tour there ;-;

13. do u wanna be in a band?

ive always thought thatd be pretty cool ngl!!! tourin around with ur bandmate friends, makin awesome fuckin tunes, people lovin u and ur music, just livin the dream in general,, nice

14. wats da best soda/energy drink flavour?

havent rlly had any as of rn  my lad so i wouldnt know :/

15. wat do u miss most abt old internet?

i loved that we could all just be ourselves and act like the kids we are inside without bein reprimanded at all.. it aint rlly that much of an issue for me but i still think itd be a lot nicer if it was like that again sometimes,,

16. wats da best old meme?

ooohhh there are so many i still miss man! numa numa ermagerd and doge still remind me of the glory days…when old animeme was good and you could still haz ur cheezburgers in peace. also rage comics! rage comics were good what happened

17. best place 2 buy clothez?

i dont think theres any hot topics in australia but if there is. i will hunt it down you hear me

18. wat r ur fave accessoriez?

OH THERES SO MANY GOOD ONES??? as i stated b4 i rly love kandi bracelets and other glowy/led things!!! also rlly love ties with cute and fun patterns and long colourful and/or ripped socks like ibuki’s too hehe

19. wats ur best tip fr ppl that just got into scenecore?

im not rlly the best at advice, but my main point would be-just hav fun here dudes!!! dont let anyone else bulli u abt it, we’re supportive people, u can talk to me or anyone else whos willin to listen an/or help for reassurance ofc

20. opinion on furbiez?

oOH MY GOD YES. FURBIES. MY BABIES I WANT 10 OF THESE CHILDREN…I ACTUALLY HAVE A FURBY HE LIKES SLEEPING IN HIS SPECIAL DRAWER AND HIS NAME IS TINGLE I ADORE HIM I’LL POST A OF PICTURE LATER MAYBE

21. opinion on funko popz?

i like em and ive seen lots at eb games, but i dont buy em much..i do have a megaman pop with a broken arm tho loool

22. wats ur fave pattern? (zebra/leopard print etc)

i looove a lot of patterns but not gonna lie im always a sucker for rainbow checkerboard patterns yknow hehe!

23. fave color combo?

i dont have one rlly…soooo many possible comboooos…cx

24. sumthing u liked as a kid dat u still like?

im still going on girlsgogames and recently, ive finally mastered sues beauty machine!!!! its so good and fun all of ya’ll should try it my dudeeees

25. wats ur most used emoticon? 0w0

as most of ya’ll probs alredy know i spam ‘:O’ a lot, but one of my bigger favs is actually ‘x3′ and my fav kaomoji is ‘ଘ(੭ˊ꒳​ˋ)੭✧’ (both of them are so kyooot >w

26. wats ur fav typin quirk?

i luv talkin like dis, but i dont rly do it that often loool…i awso wuv tawking in ‘owo’ speak wike dis >//w//>

27. do u wish ur fllwrz talked 2 u moar?

hellz yeaaa!!! i luv followr interaction my dudee! it makes me super happi when u all talk to me heehee! x3c

28. tag ur fave scene blawgz!

:O !!! oh gawd!!! i dont know many atm but heeereee!

@xxadam-antidotexx (op of the ask meme)

@glitchkichi (not sure if this counts but their stuff’s rlly cool >v

@otonashi-banana (scene boyf…wuv im more than anythin >///w///>

29. wat got u into scenecore?

i dont remember exactly how it happened but i’d always sorta wanted to go back to the glory days that was the old web and the scene era, and that, coupled with a bright, colourful aesthetic that i could really enjoy, drew me in like a moth to a neon colored flame ig looollll

30. how long hav u been scene?

i’ve only been officially apart of the community for about a few months now (at time of writing) i reckon so some things are still a lil new to me ig ^^;;

31. wats da best thing abt being scene?

the freedom of bein able to express myself 4 one thing, and its just so fun being so ‘out-there’ yknow???? it feels so great really

32. do u hav a fursona?

i…actually used to but ive moved on from the furry fandom and ive grown more attached to my human sona anyway sooo :/

33. r u in sum “cringy” fandomz?

YEA man!! i dont rlly think dr is inherently considered ‘cringey’ but undertale is and im in that one for sure!!! i also kinda technically never left the skylanders fandom(?) so theres that too ig??? oh yeah and who wants to let me draw my old moshi monsters characters COWARDS

34. do u liek plushiez?

YASSSS QUEEEN!!!! i have HEAPS of them in my room on my desk with my gonta shrine

35. do u liek stickerz?

also a big yaaassss from me dawggg!!! i love them and i love those ones that you stick on your fase like this!

its so cuuute!!!

36. do u hav a friendproject?

i dont, not at the moment a least, actually! didnt even know what it was til recently but it looks kewl haha

37. do u hav any other scene account?

well, i haz this one, and i also have an emowire account for shuichi if that counts!!

38. do u make art? (drawingz, blingeez, etc.)

YES!!! i love to draw and i also make blingee edits sometimes!!! ITS SO FUN XD !!!

39. wats da most scene thing? (anything!)

hmmm, weeell…i think the most stereotyped thing would be that kewl, suuuper big hair like this;

its really prettyyyy, and i love all that colouuur!!!

40. ask ur own randum question!!

hm, oh wowie, since the anon didnt specifically ask this one…POTATOES!!! X3

phew, finally done, that was a lot of typing! this was so fun to do though, so thank u nonnie!!! :3

[nivks]

i feel like #followforevers and online love letters etc etc havnt really been a thing in 2018 but u know what. thats dumb. 2019 is better and were all gonna be emotional and loving towards the people that make us feel emotions speciffically - Love! so heres a #followforever emo loveletter ashdfg gahwahh OKAY EDIT: kjhsdf i finished writing this mess and its SO LONG i am SO OSRRY i cant even SPELL im so sorry whatever im gonna post it still cos maybe hopefully simething i have to say mihgt make someone smile. just skip to ur namee. happy 2019 kids! nick WILL become a dad!.

@harryfeatjack @rightgirl @happilygryles @rocketmommy @19-million-memories @drugsnotwar @ithadmefromhello @spyro2018 @acuzena @carswinky @shiftylinguini @bourgeoix @hiatusniall @julesg @itsallaboutzarry @ihavea1dbloghelp okay we might have been close but you dont post much anymore, we might be new mutuals or like?? might just have that special follow and love from afar type thing happening but you all do make my dash a happier place and i hope 2019 is incredible for u all and u are all amazing people who do brighten my day. thanks for making 2018 better!! love u. 

@chantillystars Miss Starsadrift, lover of my hart. ur so fucking BRIGHT andsweet and u always make me laugh and ur always there when im crying and u light up whatever place youre in and i know that for a fact cos when we went on holidays together you honest to god were like. the brightest and beautifulestestest in the whole street. youre also an excellent cook and the kitchen we were in was just shit. love ur snaps and msgs and how much you love gardens and flowersand sunshine. glad youve been working on feeling better about Life and its been helping cos u deserve it alllll <3<3 love u like u love yoongi. 2018 wouldve been terrible without u. @clipsandstuff your tags at times make me crack up and your love for nick is so warm and iv followed ur blog for years and youre always so consistently lovely and i hope 2019 treats u well <3 @ladsfm you barely ever have time to be on anymore but youre like. out there. living your life and i see u on instagram and ur so incredible and SMART and beaiutful and then whenever i text you a #nickupdate or more specifically a #harrynickupdate your all caps replies always make me smile so big also you are quite possibly the most lovely person iv met i lvoe you! @lordendsavior i made my url dikolasgrimshaw. for you. for me a bit too but you were that final little push. the voice of reason that said yeah! do it! thats how much i love you. akjsg anyway JOANNA you are somehow so lovely and kind but like Real at the same time and u have a way of saying your opinions that makes me wish i knew how to fucking get my thoughts out as put together? as you. idk everytime i see you like giving advice and stuff im always like YUORE SO good you really are just! so good for this world and the people you talk to. i hope everyone knows how lucky they are that gets to talk to you and stuff ily. @cashewdani your tags. iv been following your blog since like? 2013? and i have no idea what your look like and im only guessing where youre from and what youre name even is but pretty much every post you make has incredible tags and has inspired me to watch movies/tv shows that i use to skip over and you are alawys so fucking delightful to see on my dash and i feel like everytime i see you posting it brings a smile to my face. also youre writing is incredible and i feel like iv seen you posting about new jobs and new living places so i hope 2019 is super amzing for you cos you deserve it! @yourghostcat <3<3<3<3<3 gamZE you are! you ar so bright and loving and warm and sweet and gentle and FUNNY and i feel liek every single time we talk im alawys just like ‘i love you gmze’ but honselty i DO and i hope u know youre super important and im so glad i know you. every single on of youre edits are beautiful and all the work u put into them is so appreciated and ur so talented! i hope 2019 is so good to you <3 @sehunchis u barely go here anymore but im including you anyway whocares KELLY i love you. your love for vivi?? feel that. love for vivi and sehun togeth? fukcing Feel that. youre so funny and rly smart and thoughtful and u make ppl so happy by just being there and i miss being in new york with you but seeing ur tweets still makes me smile just as biggggggg lvoe you. @lollipop-popsx youre so damn funny whenever youre done with anons purposely trying to start shit but you are so so lovely to everyone else and u pretty mch always come across as genuinely happy and caring and i rly hope that you have a super amazing 2019 love uou. @fullstopmgnt again u dont go hre anymore but just in case! i LOVE you and im so GLAD ur doing better and feeling better and working on getting even better im proud of you my lovely. miss u i WILL see you soon i have gifts for youuu @meliora i was gonna say i got to hug you TWICE this year but dunkirk came out in two thousand and seventeen im a fool whatever i got to hug you ONCE this year and while thats not really a lot its still!! im so happy i got to meet u cos ur SO FUKCING lovely and beaituful and warm as a person and so chill and have such good taste in music and hair colours and i know theres been some tough times this year for you but you deserve the fucking world so i hope 2019s nothin but great stuff ILY @baaatgurl bby gir lover darling MARIE light of my life. u are! incredible and i feel like whenever we meet up im laughing and smiling constantly and even when were not together i can like. listen to audio messages u send me and even when im sad i know i got something to smile about cos ur right there! u mean a lot to me and im so so so happy we met on this dumbass website in like 2013 youre so so so important. shits been tough but 2019s gonna be The Year and 2020? were leaving australia together. @cptkirked finish the walking dead. ALJHFGLDS okay FOR REAL first of all thankyou for making me watch love actually WAIT did i tell you! when u and me watched it and my brother was like ‘that movies terrible’ HE TXT ME LIKE 2WEEKS AGO and was like ‘just rewatched love actually. i get you both now. was good movie.’ ghhhhhahh i think ur relaly great and u always make me laugh and from your tweets i feel like youve had an up and down year so i rly hope 2019s good for you in every single way cos u really deserve it. love u. @nightandstarlight milesssss we havnt talked too mcyh this year but knowin youre out there living youre life! just happy. thankyou for alays been sweet and kind and positive and making me smile. hope 2019 is beautulf for you. @plaintoast TAELOr i know 2018 has definyely had highs and lows for you but 2019 IWLL be great and u deserve honeslty SO MYCH happiness and i hope u get all of it. u are so soft and lovely i lvoe u truly. @gettingdizzy giggled when i saw your url just then dont know why. SAVANAH do u have any idea how incredble u are? ur so important and ur texts like 90% of the time make me laugh and the other 10% i wanna like fight someone on your behalf. ur smile is 100/10 and i can not wait till the day we get to MEEt. ur gonna fuckign graduate this year and finish school and 2019s really gonna be your year and i love u so mcuh. @twelvegrimmyplace LIZ! LIGHT OF MY life. u are one of hte most beautiful and funniest and ur so fucking Good and lovely and always make me smile. u also make me laugh a lot and i lvoe ur tags and ur love for nick and nick and m/esh and nick and Glasses is the reason why 2019 has to be a good year. thankyou for ebing you. love you. @erinsbreakfast cheesed real hard with my smile then as i typed your url. thankyou for always making me smile big time and making me LAUGH and thanks for loving nick the way u do. ur super sweet and super beautful and i hope 2019 is everything u dream it to be. ur incredible and i voel you. @silveredsound YOU are BEAUTUFUL and always alawys making me smile with your tags and posts and ur heavenly pictures of Harry Styles and Harry Styles’ Hair in HQ and ur thoughts about nick gshaw. thankyou for being you and i hope u know how amazing u are. i love you. happy 2019 darling. also thnakyou for the gift that was TOWEL FIC. ur a hero. and ur wrtiing is!!!!!! stuff of dreams ur so talented hoenslty @magog83 ur literally the hero that goes above and beyond for the whole nick fandom and we will never be able to thankyou enough. you are increbible and amazing and lovely and you deserve so mych happiness and good things. thaknyou for so mych youre BEAUTIFUL. @junkshop-disco every single cow i pass by in my day to day life i automtically name mabel. ur posts make me smile and ur so lovely and kind. you are so fucking talented. i hope 2019s super super lovely fro you. @kilimiria !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! mariE!!!!!!!! do u KNOw how big i smile whenever i see i have msgs from you? okay i know it takes me forever to reply a lot of the time but like literally msgs from you can turn my whole day from shit to the happiest of days. thanks for existing and being you na dmaking me smile u are sososo lovely and funny and beaitufl and i hope 2019 gives you the entire world. i lveo you. @apopstarontheradio thakns for making me smile a lot this year and being funny! and kind and lovely and having a big heart. hope 2019 beings u nothin but happiness loverlyyyy @thegreenaubergine i love YOu you make me laugh and make me smile and ur so so sweet and so lvoely i really relaly hope 2019 is great for you!!!!!! @hinickgrimshaw everytime i see u posting amd ur tags i feel like. ur just really great and amzing. sounds lame typing it out auhfhahhhhh BASICALLY everytime i see you saying things and read ur tags on nick posts im just like ‘youre SO good i trust everythignu say.’ youre so so lovely and u make me smile and im pretty sure i have a screenshot of a post u made once cos it made me smile on a bad day. anwyay i hope 2019 is GREAT for u and i think ur fucking incredible and ur love for nick is so soft. @writsgrimmyblog i smiled at your url like you could see it or someting kjhasdk WRIT u are. so organised and smart and FUNNY and beautiful and LVOELY and i am soossoso lucky to know you. youre nick thoughts and posts are a joy to read and ur writing is incredible and u made grimmy appreciation fest happen whcoh was!!!!!!! i Love you. 2019 better be the best for you <3 @fapfapfashion ayhhhh!!!!!!! ZHENya. i thnk i first saw you when u started leaving anon msgs for joanna you ARE so so so soft and kind i love you so much. you ALWAS make me laugh and you have some of the best tags and i hope everyone that knows you in real life knows how lucky they are to know youuu LOVE you a lot. hope 2019s super freakin amzing. @blueskybuzz77 youre so sweet and lovely and i hope so much good happens fro you in 2018 also u make me laigh and u deserve the WOrld LOVE you @fantofirehazard ur lovely and super sweet nad ur tags make me laugh and  i hope 2019 is increible for you because you deserve it a lot <3 

@grimshaw @brckhmptn i would die for you.

[peterparkerwithacause]

Answer 30 Questions, Tag 20 People

tagged by @kalashnikovs thank you! sort of ;) he knows whats up

Nicknames: Em, Parker (only certain ppl can call me that:) liek u guys ;0 ), Emi, Stupid, Emilka, Emilushka, 

Gender: female

Sign: You could say I’m a Gem ;)

Height: Really short. Like 5 ft ish.

Time: 4:45 pm ish im editing this now and its like 5:15 so this took me half an hour :)?)))))

Birthday: Joineee

Fav bands: hmmm I generally just like songs here and there, not really following any bands atm. Calpurnia, Clash, Toto??? Uhhhh Foster the People.... Gym Class heroes...,...adklsjgwaa Spendtime Palace, the Police, Electric Light Orchestra. HMMMMMM half of these are probably just artistsss buut

Fav solo artists: Again same thing buut Avicii, ummm?? Weezer,  ahhhhh idkkkkk i just like music but i dont know any artists aha

Song stuck in my head: for a better day by avicii wihich i just listened to, also Buddy Holly by Weezer is always in my head, as well as the occasional Africa by Toto 

Last movie I saw: hold on lemme pull up netflix real quick... i dont really remember butt ohh yeahhh wait ok (sorry im being so annoying im just typing out me thots) It waaas Star Wars: the last jedi. yes :) wait no it was Star Wars: Attack of the Clones :)

Last show I watched: I watched kids baking championship yesterday :))) very intense content nooo joke. like this kid helped another one whip her cream because she forgot to and she was crying, so she got it done in time and it was so close to the finale and he didnt have to help her but he did??? like save this boy soft boy

When did I create my blog: like 2 months ago, but i didnt start really using till like 3 weeks ago??

What do I post: currently? Mostly Losers Club stuff, also Marvel, Star Wars, Stranger Things. I have a bunch of moodboards saved that im too chicken to post and I wanna start writing :))) the occasional social justice and aesthetic post

Last thing I Googled: play pumped up kicks by foster the people :) i was trying to make laundry more intresting

Do I have any other blogs: nah I just cram everything in here like a lil douche

Do I get asks: like one from my sibling which they did anonymously... 

Why did I choose my URL: i deeeply relate to peter parker (with a cause ooops, you could say im a rebel.... without a cause omh im so funnnnnyyy)

Following: 153 :/

Followed by: 9 woooooo! rlly good for my ego, literally no one is going to see this post sooo

Average hours of Sleep: ummmmmmmm 7-8 ishhh 

Lucky number: 2, 3, 23, never 32 though ew, and 6

Instruments: technically I can play the viola. and i took piano lessons but i quit like a lil dweeb

What I am wearing: red fuzzy holiday pj pants with polar bears and theyre too short so theyre like capris and im cold.Burgundy socks, black hoodie, school uniform top.

Dream job: film producer or something in film or something like that <3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or if all else fails a dog walker who runs and bakes BUT I REALLY WANT TO GO INTO FILMMM

Dream trip: a long trip with my pals in Iceland, or Japan or Rio or Italy or somewhere in Europe, or Australia, or all of them at once ;)

Fav food: mac and cheese, fries, pasta, chocolate, pizza is preety good, polish donuts :) v healthy boys

Nationality: significantly polish, insignificantly Assorted European

Fav song: wowweeeee ok so, Buddy Holly by Weezer, There she goes by the La’s, Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper(such a bev song :)), Electric Love by BORN, Pumped Up Kicks by Foster the People, Abracadabra by Steve Miller Band

Last book I read: I sadly havent been reading a lot, but i reread Lucky Few by K.E Ormsbee for like the 15th time, very good book :)

Top 3 fictional universes I wanna join: Harry Potter would be prreety lit, Marvel :), Losers Gang seems so fuun but It and also all those annoying people in there so no, and Star Wars!

i dont even have 20 friends anywhere soo (sorry if you already were tagged in this) but um @gayzier @dedeimagines @80sboyss @themobileappsucks

[rbbtrd]

I Love Healing

i wrote this when i was tryin to vent but i have no idea how to fuckin vent so instead i. tried to write out healings entire bg lmao a lot of brain stuff was goin on so it might not b. the best piece of literature uve ever read

some misc facts and other htings might b missing bc (points at how fucked my brain was and also how fuckin VAST healings character is and how much development he has)

//warnin theres kinda crass and sensitive language or whatever and there will b mentions of diff kinds of abuse in his story and other not good things under cut so my bad but i wasnt in a good state of mind and tryin to tag n warn u abt it all is skjncfdvav plus this was a vent post for me originally anyways lmao

//another warning lmao under the cut is a Wall Of Text there is a LOT of stuff under cut like 6000+ words so like. warned ya my pals

healing is my favorite fuckin oc and p much. why i fuckin stay alive sknfsef he means so so much to me and has so much meaning to me and is very very very very very very very important to me i fucking Love healing okay i project a lot (i.e All Of Myself) onto healing so he is p much almost quite literally me and vice versa but also not rlly??? its weird and complicated lmao i Love this man tho no one will ever love him more than i do i will fuckin Fight you hes so improtant to me

he is 57 yrs old, his birthday is march 17 but also dec 5th (its complicated) but mostly march 17, his favorite color is red not only bc im projecting but his first loves fav color was also red, he is 5″7 ft tall, hes very silly and kooky and tries his best to become happy and heal and learn and atone for what hes done and expereinced, he LOVES the sea and the ocean and anything relating them like the sea/ocean is very very very important to him for multiple reasons, also loves rabbits and goats and has 2 pet goats (i like to call em his service animals lol)

healing was born to both pure blood tiefling parents, his mother was a servant/slave that belonged on a ship and his father basically just knocked her up, he never met or knew anything about his father other than that he was a tiefling and misc stuff his mom/other servants had told him. his dad is mordecai ahkrah and hes chaotic evil and genuinely a very fucking awful person, his mom is ariarei kallies and is just?? kinda a chatoic neutral, maybe more of a lawful evil, but she has a very bad selfish personality and nasty. she holds no maternal feelings for healing and only sees him as a nuisance and only takes care of him (taking care of him means. The Bare Minimum. i.e- makin sure hes just Not Dead) bc she has to and kinda forcced to. healing does not see ariarei as his mother, but “as the woman who birthed me / brought me into this world” and stuff like that and therefore holds no feelings towards her like a child would w their mother, over the years, healing considers the ocean/sea as his mother more than ariarei and is more emotionally connected to the sea

 healings mom actually never named him, he was nameless/had no name up until the age of 27-28. both his mom and the owners of the ship and whoever hired him always only ever called him “boy”, “child”, “it”, “thing”, “errand boy”, “chore boy”, and names like that bc he never had a name and no one bothered to give him one. both his mom and the owners/ppl who hired him treated him very very poorly and did abuse him frequently in many different ways and manners (lmao projects myself onto my oc) so he has a lot of feelings and experiences w lots of kinds of traumas and abuse

he most specifically received a lot of physical abuse especially from ppl and verbal abuse, some but not too much emotional abuse, and also a handful of sexual abuse. at the time, he thought it was fine and normal and did not realized he was being abused bc “this is just how life is” bc he had literally. never heard of or experienced anything else other than a shit life.

he didnt rlly think anything of the poor treatment or the abuse bc this was all he ever knew, he grew up this way, so he thought it was normal and thought everyone didnt feel anything and if they did OF COURSE theyd b negative feelings, bc thats all u (healing at the time) r capable of feeling. he doesnt get out of this mentality until hes around 18-22

he receives a handful of scars and marks from his time as a servant, he got his first scar when he was a literal Baby bc he was cryin out and his ma got mad and upset abt and scratched his face thus resulting in his lip scar. when he was like 5-7 he met this other servant kid who had The Very Opposite mindset he had and was v bright and optimistic and he dragged healing along when he played and he broke smth and healing took the cover not bc he wanted to save this kid but bc it would be less troublesome bc then the current owner would only have to punish 1 child and the other kid was well liked on the ship unlike healing so then the morale of the servants wouldnt be affected. the owner beat him up p bad but it Wasnt Enough so he smashed healings face into the wooden boards so hard it Broke The Board and also broke his right horn, this also gave his scarring above his brow and stuff up to the broken horn. another prominent scar he has that holds memory to him is the scar on his chest above his heart, where he got that from a case where he was sexually abused and his abuser threatened to tear out his heart if he kept bein a brat. he has NO SCARS on his tail tho, but thats literally bc up until he was w morgan, he was just Lucky in not havin his tail injured. from the time he met morgan and beyond, he then started to actively protect his tail from harm and from ppl touchin it bc morgan said he rlly liked his tail and how it looked and how cool it was and from then on hes liek Oh

he constantly worked when he was of age to and started w small things and worked up to doin manual labor and other things, he only stayed w his mom up until the age of 11-12, after that they were separately sold to different ships and never saw eaqch other again. from that point on, he was switched around a few different ships and buyers, but was otherwise was still  just treated as cargo and property like he had been the past few years. 

the ship he was on at the age of 17 was stopped and liberated by a man named morgan wake (also can be written as morgain), a  human sailor captain (some kind of good, leanin on neutral or chaotic) who specializes in trade, cargo, and just transportation, but also will sell his abilities to fight/go into war or battle and liberates slave ships on his free time lol morgan becomes a Very Very Very important person to healing and is ESSENTIAL to shaping healing into who he is now. healing slowly falls in love with morgan over the years, but never tells morgan abt these feelins bc 1) he doesnt kno what the FUCk hes feelin lmao this boy has only experienced negative emotions and feelings up until he met morgan and 2) he thinks morgan will think hes weird or wrong or gross or smth. healing had absolutealy NO PLACE and NO ONE to go to after he was liberated so morgan saw this and was like Hey. You Should Come Work Under Me For MY Ship. morgan is a BIG BIG BIG guy on justice and equality and stuff for ALL PEOPLE and EVERYONE so this is also a reason why he let healing onto his ship of mostly humans and half-elves and halflings and also this part abt morgan rubs off on healing so healing also becomes a big guy on justice and equality and stuff

the ship morgan owns is a Lil prejudiced againt tieflings so they arent jumpin for joy when morgan makes healing his first mate at the age of 19 bc theyre. Gently Racist over tieflings but morgan kicks their ass and makes healing his first mate and right hand man anyways. at this point, healing is still nameless bc morgan tells him “i cant give you a name, a name is really important, its your identity and what makes you YOU, its ur soul and ur dreams and ur hopes, its YOU, you hear a name and u think of that person etc etc etc” and rlly cheesy stuff like that pertaining to names so morgan is Vehemently against naming healing and instead calls him “buddy”, “pal”, “friend”, “best friend”,  “first mate”, “mate”, and other various nicknames made over the years. he was very adamant on having healing name himself and refused to call him by a name that someone else gave him bc healing told him abt his mom and how he said that his mom wasnt rlly a mother in the first place

morgan knows Everything abt healing and healing w him vice versa bc when they first met and healing was still in his Uhm Nothing Matters Ill Tell You Everything mindset, he told morgan the story abt all his scars and what has happened to him up until that point and what people have done to him. morgan is truly very genuinely heartbroken over this?? bc healing was just Born into this world of shit and awful things that he didnt deserve and also the fact that healing just spoke of his abuse so freely and casually as if it meant nothing and didnt matter and healings view on his own life and life in general due to how he has lived so far and morgan makes it his personal mission to help healing grow out of this and start to become more Alive and less :| and :/ abt life 

morgan becomes very important for and to healing bc like. he literally taught healing Emotions and how amazing and happy and good life can be. morgan taught healing how to Be Alive and Want To Be Alive and how to Feel. before when he was a servant, he was literally just a Shell and genuinely thought life was Supposed to just be inherently shitty and ur suposed to always expereince bad htings and ALWAYS feel ONLY bad negative emotions and feelings.he thought that if he died, it wouldnt matter AT ALL bc he would easily b replaced by another servant and his life had literally no meaning and he genuinely thought he would die before the age of 20 and he was Okay with that he thought it was fine he thought it was okay to not expect to live past 20-25 and etc etc etc. 

when he saved healing, morgain was already quite old-ish?? he was 30 yrs old when healing (at the time, age 17) met him. healnig didnt rlly start to fall in love until around age 19 just some time b4 morgan made him first mate. over the years that healing is on morgans ship, he becomes who he is bc of morgan and  he learns things abt himself and who he is and builds himself bc of morgan and he becomes who healing is in these very moments that he spends with morgan and rightly falls in love because of it bc morgan Saved Him from so many things. morgan took an empty husk and shell of a man that had Began as empty and put smth in it. he had breathed life into an empty bag and made music, he had taken a broken branch and carved a nice ass figure. morgan took something with nothing and gave him Everything.  healing has such a strong connection and attachment to morgan yall cant even begin to understsand it. Runs So Deep in healing, this lov and feeling and attachment he has to morgan

morgan also rlly rlly rlly Rlly likes and appreciates healing and actually also loves healing in the same way, but doesnt tell healing for the same reasons why healing wont tell morgan. they spend the next 10 yrs basically unknowingly pining over each other bc theyre too fuckin afraid to tell each other bc they think the other is gonna b homophobic and its Awful. but also like. sailors back in the day were Rlly Gay so healing and morgan have had their fair share of mutual masturbation and Very Gay Activities w each other bu they were never in the context of romance or in a relationship beyond like. Rlly Rlly Good Best Friends lmao like sex friends but better??

bc healing. was never fuckin educated lmao he doesnt kno how to read or write. over the years he spends with morgan, he BARELY understand the alphabet tbh. he can like,,,,,, understand certain words but he doesnt recognize those words as words they register kinda like symbols in his head. numbers r even WORSE for healing lmao. like he understands map terms north, east, west, south, map, longitude/latitude, etc etc but he recognizes the words as like pictures or symbols in his head that relate to object or meaning or smth, kinda how u see a lil pic of a tree and u recognize it as a tree, thats him w words. healing was morgans first mate and co-captain for 10 years, he often went with morgan to negotiations and business meetings and trades and etc etc etc healing is VERY good w his words bc of this and is actually rlly smart and intelligent and wise. he just cant read or write lol. he has a +0 intelligence on his sheet but a +3 wisdom

healing lives the next 10 yrs of his life after being liberated at the age of 17 to 27 w morgan and his ship and his crew and hes enjoying himself and livin it to the fullest and hes happy and its so good and all is well, but also keep in mind that healing, through out all of these 10 yrs, has STILL not have a name for himself yet. BUT morgan HAS given healing a seashell necklace as well as his ear piercings. he wears these items everyday and they hold like. a lot of emotional important and support for him

but then morgan dies LMAO morgan dies at the age of 40 when healing is 27 and he dies from both sickness from old age (bc sailors back then. died p early skdjfnwsndv) and also from an injury wound he had gotten when in battle earlier that month. morgans death strikes his crew very harshly but without a doubt everyone on the ship agreed that healing was the MOST hurt and affected and shaken from morgans death. morgans last words and also his will states that he wanted healing to become the new captain of the ship. healing doesnt rlly become the new captain bc hes too busy mourning over his death for the next yr.

morgan and healing NEVER tell each other abt their feelings for one another, so morgan dies with this regret of never saying anything and healing lives with the regret of never saying anything before he died. this plays into how healing chose his name

after his mourning and grieving period he starts to slowly collect himself and in this period of time, this is where he finally chooses his name. he thinks abt how morgan was never able to call him by a proper name despite how important names were to morgan, so as hes starting to heal from his death, he picks his own name for himself. he debated on choosing his name as love, bc he loved morgan but never told him despite the fact that morgan quite literally taught him how to love. but he decides on the name healing bc he also thought abt how morgan said how he wanted to help healing start to mend and heal from all the trauma and abuse hes been through and healing sort of just shoved love into that process of healing, therefore That Is His Name Now. his name is now like. an important memoir of morgan as well as like. His Name. his name now holds a very hefty important weight and meaning to him now.

when morgan dies, he makes a lot of vows to himself like how hell never love someone again and how he would keep up morgans work and how he would keep morgans policy of justice and equality and how he would never treat people the way he was treated as a servant and how he would never hurt someone on purpose. after morgans death, he starts to like. hoard items he thinks morgan would have liked and then eventually this just turns from “hoarding for morgan” to “depression coping hoarding” and he just hoards things he thinks has some use or worth of value (which is like. Everything lmao so he never throws stuff away)

the ship crew are not All That Happy that healing is their new captain, but they really did intensely respect and appreciated morgan both as a captain and an individual so they abide by his will and last words and let healing be captain despite the fact that they thought hed b bad at it. but Surprise Surprise healing is actually rlly rlly good at being a captain bc he spent 10 yrs by morgans side and he knows how to do everything rlly well and the crew r kind of surprised and apologize for sterotypin him and for being so prejudiced and not trustin him and etc etc etc and healing is happy for another long while bc now he has like?? a family?? this crew was now his family and he loved everyone on this ship and they loved him?? he was Rlly Good at what he did bc he took over morgans work of trade and also liberating ships and sellin his time to fight for ppl and he was super close to his crew and they grew closer over the yrs and they give him a seashell bracelet similar to how morgan gave him the necklace and earrings so now healing has like. a physical object to associate his emotional relationship and feelings and shit to like he did for morgan w the necklace and earrings

but ofc knowin me its time to Fuck Him Over Again lmao over the yrs while hes in his 30s hes gets like. Rlly Rlly Rlly well known for his deeds and his work and actions so he gets super popular and he has. A Lotta Sex and is Very Well Known for sex and also his dick lol and also sometimes got into. not so hot relationships. at current time right now, age of 57, healing has 5 children he isnt aware of bc he left the other person before they even Knew they were pregnant. he was rlly good with not letting his partner get pregnant but accidents happen lmao sometimes he let the fame and popularity get to his head so he was kind of a Cocky Narcissistic Dick sometimes 

a total of 5 times during his 30s he got himself into. very bad toxic abusive manipulative relationships. these 5 people were all very similar in what they did to healing and how they did it to him. in each of these 5 cases, both healing and his crew reacted the same. when u hang out w manipulative bad ppl, u kinda become manipulative and bad urself, and thats what happened w healing and his crew. these 5 ppl preyed on the fact that healing was emotionally very weak and vulnerable to romantic affection and intimacy and how he had a Rlly Rlly Big Fear of losing people he loved or cared about. they made him care abt them and threatened to leave him if he didnt do what they wanted, as well as abuse him in other different manners physically, emotionally (BIG TIME emotional abuse), verbally, and mentally. during the itme he was in these relationships w these ppl, healing was very much not like his usual self, hes a chatoic neutral but when w theswe ppl he was like?? lawful evil?? true evil?? he became Rlly Bad and did Rlly Bad things that, now in current day time he regrets deeply and feels.

when he was in these relationships, they made him break a lot of the vows he took when morgan died or else theyd do smth to him or to themself ot to his crew or smth like that and it haunts him to this very day abt how he could have done those things to those people despite the fact that the same was done to him and how he NEVER wanted to do that to other people. it dredges bad things up in his memories and in his heart and he has nightmares abt both his traumas and abuse as well as the traumas and abuse hes made others go through.  these people hurt him very deeply in his 30s and scarred him emotionally and mentally more intensely than the people that mistreated him when he was a servant

his 30s was a. Rollercoaster tbh. he went thru very intense and frequent highs and lows bc the time when he was with these people they were his Very Very Low Lows and when he wasnt with them and just doing his job w his crew and livin life he was very happy and his life took on a Very Good High. as he got a lil older at the age of 37 he was doing good and it was a high during his lifetime and that point and when he was 37 he was actually on his ship hunting down a bandit/pirate ship bc someone had bought his ships and effort to help them track down this ship

he has a lot of adventures in his 30s and goes thru so many things and and thru so many situations and so many people and encountered just. A Lot Of Stuff in General. hes experienced probs like. 2 lifetime of experiences and shit by the age of 37 lmao but he wouldnt trade any of these experiences, good or bad, for ANYTHING in the world

but sadly (bc i love makin his life so full of angst) as hes chasing this ship, a Rlly Big Storm comes by and fuckin. WRECKS his ship. absolutely obliterates it. it catches fire and tons of his crew members r jumpin off and panicking and the ship is falling apart and hes so AAAAAAAAAAAAA rn. in the future, the imagery of a sunken or turned up or just in general not normal 100% functioning ship is very unsettling to him and triggers this rlly bad memory. also Rlly Rlly Rlly BIG BIG fires unsettle him very badly and makes him Extremely Uncomfortable but it doesnt rlly trigger this bad memory as much as broken ships do

healing is knocked from the ship and passed out and when he awakes hes on the shore with the remains of wood from his ship along the shore and he is. absolutely broken. he lost his Whole Family in one night and yet he was the one who didnt die?? he assumes everyone on his crew ship died (even tho some survived but he has yet to encounter them) and he was the only one who survived and at the moment he HATED this fact. he hated that he was left to live and he reverts back to his mindset that he had when he was younger how his life didnt matter and etc etc etc

hes also??????????? SUPER upset and heartbroken that the sea was the one who did this to him. the ocean, to which he was born and raised on (he has never lived on land in the past 37 yrs of his life, hes been on land and stayed overnight at inns or smth and stuff but hes never Lived anywhere on land and thinks houses r Weird bc hes lived on a boats and ships for 37 yrs kjefnvslefv), the ocean to which he considered his real mother, the ocean that granted him so much freedom from so much of the things that hes experienced, the ocean to which he was so deeply emotionally connected to and how much the sea had meant to him. he knows he cannot control the sea and accepts that the sea had sunken his ship but that doesnt mean hes not going to still feel sad and shitty abt it lol 

he Basically has a meltdown at this shore and cursin at how he should have been the one to die in this wreck and passes out bc. exhaustion and etc lmao. and then in comes Love Interest #2, noel, a neutral good wood elf monk who, just like morgan, is a very free spirit and very kind and reminds healing just enough of morgan to make his heart start to feel something again

noel sees this tieflin dude passed out on the beach and is like. Oh. Thats Not Good. and he goes to help him out and brings him back to his campsite to patch him up and heal his wounds and take care of him and nurture him back to health a bit until healing wakes up.

healing is like HWHA and is like uhhhh thnks but i gotta Go Now bc Yet Again in this mnoment he vows a bunch of other shit like how hell live a life of solitude and never involve himself w others bc he thinks of himself as a harbinger of bad things and chaos and doom and misfortune follows him and how everyone he loves or tells them abt his life/story dies

but noel is too friendly and caring to just Let Him Go and hes just rlly interested in healing just as an individual and just also wants a companion to travel w bc hes just like a wandering monk who weaves in and out of woods and forests and villages and stuff

fast forward- after a Lot of effort and A Lot of time and A Lot of trust and such, healing slowly Very Very Slowly opens up to noel about himself and his life and what hes gone though and all of the sort of bad and good things hes experienced and grows closer to him and they fall in llove with each other and its both mutual and healing is like “wow??? being in love is so nice?? this is such a good feeling?? i love noel and he loves me back and we can kiss and hug and do stuff and both of us know we are doing this out of mutual romantic attraction??????????” and this is like. A Brand New Feeling for healing bc his relationship and love for morgan was 100% unrequited

noel basically becomes healings teacher tbh since noel is a monk he teaches healing the way of bein a monk most specifically the way of the 4 elements. noel is a master of the way of the 4 elements, but is best w earth and air, healing has such a strong attachment to the water and a close relation with fire so hes naturally like. rlly good w those 2 lmao he catches on real quick despite the fact that. only noel is teaching him and neither of them belong to a temple or have a temple to go to lmao

as time goes on both healing and noel are like. kinda famous monks that travel through the land and are well known bc healing was already previously well known as a rlly rlly cool famous captain and now he kinda dropped off the face of the earth for like 5 yrs but now hes back w noel and he looks a lil diff now bc hes older and his hairs a lil longer but ppl are aware that hes healing

its all good and healing is enjoying life real nice rn and hes happy once again and hes in love with noel and noel is in love with healing and its so good and healing is traveling again but also like. up until he was 37 yrs old he was like livin at sea on a ship. so when he goes along w noel when they travel through the woods on land its kinda Weird for him bc hes like. Never Been On Land For This Long lmao

from the moment he was stranded on that beach to right now in his current time, healing ALWAYS has smth of the sea/ocean w him ALWAYS it is a must and he has to have it for multiple reasons and most of the reasons are for like. safety reasons?? theyre like his safety items it calms him down and soothes him in multiple ways like emotionally and mentally. he ALWAYS has at LEAST 1 (one) bottle or flask or SOMETHING filled w sea water he always has some sea water on him, he also just. collects a MASSIVE amount of shells and sea glass and any other things u could find on the beach or sea he always has some of this stuff on him for comfort and stuff

like with all of the deep and intimate and important and emotional relationships in his life, noel gives healing smth that he can attach noel to emotionally and etc etrc etc. noel gives healing tattoos that are like monk tattoos and symbolize what he does best on his back i.e fire and water and also a few like. just fun lil casual tattoos to make healing and himself happy like a boat and anchor on his wrist and stuff and healing is like Oh Gee Hope Nothing Bad Happens

but smth bad does happen lol. after 10 literal yrs (healing is now 47) theyre in the woods camping out and etc etc etc and its like the dead of night and theyre sleepin in their tents and its good and all but then some bandits or smth just pass by their site and decide “hey. lets fuckin loot this place and fuck shit up” and they do and engage in combat w noel and healing and its just a series of unfortunate events and bad luck and timing and long story short these bandits do lethal and fatal damage to noel but healing manages to fend em off and they go running and now healing is kneeling over the dying body of his lover

noel literally dies in healings arms and this event triggers all of his previous mental state and mindset from before abt how hes a harbinger of bad things and how everyone he loves does and he only brings misfortune and hes liike “y do the ppl around me die???? y cant *I* be the one to die for once??? wtf????” and he feels so many emotions and is so ANGRY at himself bc This Just Keeps happening and the people he loves just keep Getting Hurt and he cries and buries noel and makes a grave and does a lot of sentimental stuff and mourns and just stays where he is in the woods for like. weeks until his supplies runs out and he finally leaves the area of the forest hes in with a heavy… Everything slkdfnvsdkfs fvhesfdnviksfd hes RLLY intensely emotionally and mentally fucked now

he makes the same kinds of vows as before again plus some but now its even STRONGER. he Will Not EVER fall in love ever again, he will never tell anyone ANYTHING abt him thats not surface level info, he takes up his old vows like never hurt ppl on purpose and never treating him the way he was treated and how he will upkeep his code of justice and equality, and how he will NEVER EVER have any deep relationships and friendships and he will keep them very surface level and how he will keep everyone at like an arms distance and a half from him

and so he mourns over his lost loved ones and is just a fuckin angsty emotionally shut and locked up traveling tiefling monk and hes alone and just. travels bc he feels like if he stays in one place too long he might bring misfortune to the ppl around him and he just. BASICALLY keeps this up for ANOTHER 10 yrs dsfkjvnsenfvedv je travels around EVERYWHERE and the first few years he tried his best to avoid rlly thick wooded areas and the sea but eventually he grew and healed a bit more and allowed himself to get on boats again and go thru forests and woods

healing chose his name bc he wanted to heal and grown and change and become a better person and try his best to just be as happy as he could be and to atone for what hes done and just. try to get thru life at this point. and make sure he leaves people better than when he meets them and to make sure everyone he encounters have AT LEAST a Not Bad impression of him. so thats basically what his goal is after noel dies and he just travels on his own and in solitude and he nevers takes along a companion and is jsut by himself and quite literally isolates himself all the time. he keeps the people he talks to at an arm and a halfs distance, he never lets them know anything below surface level info abt him, he like?? basically puts on a front and all but he is still genuinely friendly and likes to talk to ppl he just. doesnt want them to know any like Substantial Info abt him or kno him beyond surface level and stuff

after some time tho he meets a man named elias aka MAN OF THE HOUR aka my datefriends oc and he jsut?? will NOT leave healing alone he just WILL NOT go away and he basically just. is forcibly at healings side as they travel and healing just CANNOT get rid of him and elias is just with him and hes trying to pry thru healings massive amounts of layers and walls and barriers and etc etc etc and ofc he does this respectfully hes not like. forcing his way into healings life and forcing healing to tell him abt his life he just. wants to kno more abt him and is very genuinely attracted to this man in many many ways 

healing realizes he cant force elias to go away and is just like (shrugs) ok w/e guess i cant get rid of u and tries to keep his walls and his front up but he just finds himself getting rlly comfortable w elias?? he finds his presence soothing and stuff bc hes been alone for the past previous yrs and now he has a companion again and its a rlly nice feeling and they grow a lil closer bit by bit over time

more time passes on and eventually, in the middle of a mental break/meltdown, healing just. Spills Everything to elias like. All Of His Life from the moment he was born until this current faction in time where hes sobbing into elias’ arm about his whole life and he feels kind of better and its okay for a while and he just passes out in elias’ arms but then he wakes up and has a panic attack and is like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I TOLD THIS MAN MY ENTIRE LIFE I HAVE TO LEAVE NOW OR HELL DIE I RLLY LIKE HIM THO I DONT WANT HIM TO DIE and he faces the facts that he 1) likes elias 2) is very internally and mentally fukt 3) is internally rlly fuckin secretive and tries to hide everythin abt himself and 4) is Dyin Real Bad for multiple reasons

elias tries to reassure healing and tries to tell him everything will be fine and he wont die and etc etc etc and stuff and from this point on forward healing and elias are much closer and continue to get closer until theyre basically in a relationship and its difficult tbh bc healing rlly wants to leave elias out of his fear but elias stays w him and its a long proccess and journey for healing to learn how to properly cope w all of the things hes felt and experienced and grow and heal and etc et ect

eventually fast forward in time, at the age of 57, healing is MARRIED to elias :’’) and they r in love and everything is okay and healing has and is continuing to learn how to accept what hes done and how to properly cope and deal w things and have less walls and barriers and be better and elias is one of his MOST important relationships to him, on par w morgan and noel, and its all good and happy and healing lives the rest of his life out w elias and dies happy and etc etc etc and its all just GREAT and also their shipname is heelies bc its funny lmao 

i left out a lotta details but fuckin. whatever lmao

anyways i love healing thnk u and good night

[springtaesarchive]

tagged by: @loriiwrites @thcojamcs cries tysm

rules: answer 30 questions about yourself then tag 20 people you want to get to know better

tagging: @slapmon​ @4hobii​ @nochucametru​ @guktwt​ @jimiin​ @artistictae​ @milklattaes​ @minswga​ @jeonsguke​ @turneys​ @hcrryedward​ @fircproof​ @pkjjm​ @velvetrpc​ @zaepsae​ @ahoneyyboy​ @starsehun​ @xjongin​ @naressavaldcz​  @namjoonrps​ @rebeccasgomez​ ok imlazy to  think of more ppl but if u see this do it :/

 nickname : aye

gender : cisfemale

star sign : taurus

height : 5′2″

time : 07:53 pm

birthday : may 9

favourite bands : linkin park, the cab, all time low, 5sos,evanescence

favourite solo artists : dean, zayn, ariana grande, bruno mars, jhene aiko

song stuck in my head : i rly dont have a song stuck in my head rn but usually it’s spring day by bts

last movie watched : spiderman homecoming

last show watched : sus partner

when did i create my blog : bitch i wish i fckn knew

what do i post : it’s a multifandom blog so like ?? a lot of shit i like 

last thing i googled : jaemin

do you have any other blogs : nah

do you get asks : nah LOL

why did you choose your url : because i love the song spring day and i love taehyung and it just fits so well bc spring day rhymes with day LOL

following : 800 something

followers : 1.6k IM ALMOST AT 1.7 HELPA  GIRL OUT

favourite colours : blue / red/ white / pink /

average hours of sleep : 6-7 hours

lucky number :  dnt got one?

instruments : i used to know how to play the guitar / violin but yea my dad made me quit nd never let me further those dreams lmao oh nd the flute, but i love piano would liek to learn some day tbh

what am i wearing : some pj’s 

how many blankets do i sleep with : 1

dream job : goodbye

dream trip : italy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I JUST WANAN GO THERE ONE DAY BEFORE I TURN 30 

favourite food : chicken parm

nationality : american

favourite song now : and july - heize ft dean

[leaughrilke]

Who do u think the superbabies will date?? :D (also since stella looks liek riley, do u think she'll get her own maya?)

HELLO HERE ARE MY THOUGHTS 

FIRST THINGS FIRST none of my children are straight.  none of them.  maia dates mainly dudes?  still bi.  finn dates mostly girls?  still bi.  and stella is a giant lesbian.  the tabloids go crazy whenever they step out with a same-gender presenting partner, conservative rags say a lot of shit about them never having a chance considering their mothers; stella gets more attention bc she’s the only kiddo that ever publicly addresses it, yells im a fucking lesbian when some paps ask her abt her rumored romance with the son of her mother’s biggest rival

also idk how to structure this so i’ll just run through like???  their endgame matches i guess??  but hmu abt further dating shenanigans if u would like

so finn!!  dates a lot actually, like all through high school and college, he’s a lil bit of a social butterfly which for him also means he’s a lil bit of a serial dater???  but in like.  the Nicest, most Respectful way u kno??  like with the speed at which he goes through partners when he’s younger, ppl could easily be getting hurt feelings, but he’s like.  too kind for that.  cares too much.  he’s the only one of the kiddos to successfully be friends with every single one of his exes, though sometimes it took a little time (time he was always willing to give, like he cares so much for ppl) 

one of finn’s exes actually introduces finn to the woman that becomes his wife!!  she’s a brand new neonatology fellow at the same hospital finn’s a trauma nurse at and he and his ex are getting coffee and ian is like hey!  my sister’s old roommate just joined ur nicu!  and finn’s like hey!  i can show her all the Good coffee places!

and the minute finn sees her.  goddamn, the boy is sunk.  nasrin is nearly as tall as him, has this round, kind face, is open with her feelings and just has this steady, calm aura that is so naturally in sync with finn’s, like they get on so well together, like they just sort of fit??  

when he tells her about the alien thing, she just blinks once, sort of tilts her head and is like um.  was i not supposed to already know?  like this girl is a damn good doctor, and in national city that means you have a basic understanding of xenobiology bc you never rlly know who is going to need medical care??  like she’s had her suspicions for a while, takes it in stride, jokes about them both being aliens (he’s an Alien, her parents came over from iran when she was a baby; finn rolls his eyes but cant help but laugh along with her bc she thinks its the funniest thing)

maia doesnt date too much??  not after Shitty Ex, not until later in college rlly.  like she’ll date, but she kind of shies away from Relationships??  she has one major one towards the end of college, but she panicked when it got Serious and bailed

that said, she met this one dude her freshmen year of college when her sorority sister was like MEET THIS KID FROM THE FRAT ACROSS THE STREET FROM US and maia’s rolling her eyes, expecting this dude to hit on her, but he doesnt???  and he makes these rlly nerdy jokes and notices the way maia tenses a little when he leans over to grab his drink off the coffee table, so he makes sure to scoot a little over, subtly give her a little more space

and they dont ever rlly see each other on campus, but theyre at all the same parties, sort of unofficially become party friends, where they each nurse a beer and trade nerdy stories and geek jokes on a couch in the corner, laugh when the asshole from alpha gets decked by the tiny girl from theta and starts crying

and of course charlie is in o chem with maia in sophomore year, and of course they wind up as lab partners.  slowly they become best friends, slowly they get closer and closer and maia’s pretty sure she has feelings for him, but nah, right?  and he definitely doesnt have feelings for her

spoiler alert: he does

it takes them a While to get together, but god, when they do??  charlie is like the perfect balance to maia, cool headed where she is decidedly not, logical where she’s likely to be rash and they’re so well matched????  like stella takes one look at this boy and says loudly that he actually might be good enough for her sister

and stella!!!  stella dates a little bit in high school but her relationships never really last v long??  and she’s never sure why, like its like she’ll have feelings for the guy and then one day she’ll wake up and they’ll be gone and then she figures it out that her feelings are more reflections of what the other person is feeling??  and then she figures out that the only time her feelings didnt just disappear were when they were for girls, figures out that she’s a Giant Lesbian which helps a little

what doesnt help is her Giant Lesbian Crush on maia’s best friend from high school.  maia and beth have been friends for like a rlly long time and stella’s always had this lil crush on her, but then beth happens to be in town for stella’s first birthday at college and maia asks if its alright for beth to tag along and its the first time stella’s seen her since they went off to college and suddenly that little crush is a big crush

but she’s maia’s best friend right?? and is older and cooler and smarter and prettier than stella, so stella ignores her feelings bc she doesnt feel anything from beth and she dates a fair bit through college, lives her life and refuses to pine

but beth is the one that helps her when she becomes a vigilante, so theyre working in close proximity and its kind of weird but rlly nice??  like rlly nice and stella likes being around her and then one night, stella comes back from a late mission and just like.  accidentally kisses beth

and also finds out why she’s never felt anything from her, even though beth has had Feelings for her for a while.  surprise!  beth’s an alien too

it also takes a While for them to get together, a While and some Drama but that is a story for another day.  but yes, to address ur specific question, she does get her own maya in a way, bc beth’s similar to maya hart in all the important ways: the stubborn loyalty, the occasionally blinders that go up to her own feelings, the care she takes with stella.  all the big things