#i got as much as i do over like 10 years and i cannot fathom going up thousands more that would suck

[acesgarden]

NINJAGO HEADCANON TIME ‼️

I- am shamelessly on a Ninjago fixation again (I blame my irl friends- they’re not gonna see this anyway sooooooooo) yippe. Some of these headcanons are ones Ive see and whole heartedly agree with, and some are just random ones i’ve come up with throughout the years so uh yeah don’t mind that some have more then others haha. I’ll probably post smaller ones (and like a another one specifically for DR headcanons :DDDDD

They are in no coherent order🧍‍♂️

This is long I apologize 😂

Masterlist

Lloyd

• He/They and Panro Ace.

• None of the ninja are not queer and three(?) of them are ace to me (I am projecting.) Lloyd is ace, for I cannot see the words Lloyd and s3x working in the same sentence. In general just idea cannot be fathomed by me. If you do, cool! (We don’t shame headcanons around here!!)

• He is trans masc as well I love trans masc Lloyd headcanons.

• Getting this out the way. I am a s u c k e r for the oni dragon feature headcanons. 👏💳👏💳👏

• He has horns, starting on his forehead following the curve of his head, the horns aren’t to long and are pretty smooth, starting off as his skin color before transitioning into a black color with a green sheen.

• The horns are a mix of dragon shape with oni coloring.

• Lloyd has pointy ears and they do reflect his emotions.

• Like they’re sitting pointed high when he’s really happy, excited, nervous (?) and tend to droop when he’s sad or upset. Though they are typically in a neutral middle.

• Yes he has a tail but he does hide it when in public.

• Does have shape shifting! Just not to the extent of a full blood Oni, he could change into other people or animals but it’s much harder and required complete focus. So it’s better for him to take small characteristics or changes (like his face, hiding scars, etc), or to hide some Oni and Dragon features if he so wishes.

• He can purr, but is very embarrassed by it so other than around the ninja he tries his best to keep it down.

• Short compared to the ninja, like the second shortest, around 5’6”.

• Trust issues, kinda funky to new people like he’s not mean but he isn’t gonna be all buddy buddy and friendly (I blame Harumi & his childhood.)

• Especially after seasons 8-10, absolutely does not trust anybody besides his family.

• Absolutely did not like the new changes of horns and a tail, etc when they manifested. Dreaded it and himself at one point. Took a lot of care, and work, and love (and probably a lot of therapy) for him to feel comfortable again.

• There are days in which he still feels awful but he knows he can go straight over to the ninja when he starts feeling like that.

• Through he did not mind his fangs since he did have them since birth. When they started growing it was not an uncommon occurrence to find him staring into the bathroom mirror as he’d gently poke the tips of his fangs.

• There are some times, rare times, where you’ll still catch him doing it.

• His fangs are not as typically long as a regular onis, but longer that a normal humans canines.

• His nail are in a similar fashion, they grow pointy and a faster than the rest of the ninja, so he often has to file them down at least one or twice a week.(?)

• Even now has the biggest sweet tooth, when he was younger he’d steal some of Cole’s sweets but now they’ve been baking together for a while. He’s gotten pretty good

• Lloyd, like his father, both like shiny stuff or things with nice sounds. Think like dice! some are shiny while others just make the best sound when clunked together. Leads me to my next thing.

• HE HAS PIERCINGS, I firmly believe he had his ears pierced at least once, with like gold studs but will change them out to other gold esk earrings every so often.

• The rest of the ninja have bought them a set of earrings that match each ninja. Quartz studs from Zane. Like a vertical bar hoop earings from Cole, Kai went a little extra and got him a gold lobe to conch chained earring which a dangling piece of chain with a red jewel, Mismatch blue studs from Jay, and Raindrop earrings from Nya.

• He gets constantly reminded ans (lovingly) made fun of his Prime Empire avatar.

• The next few are gonna be angst and possibly a bit darker, so be warned when proceeding.

• Lloyd has had and still has a lot going on, mentally and emotionally.

• You’ve seen the amount of trauma and shit he’s been through.

• When he first found out about being the green ninja he was young, a kid, so he found it exciting imagining himself like that. He felt very important and wanted to do anything and everything to achieve that faster. Kids are oblivious like that. After getting hit with Tommorow’s Tea it finally dawned on him.

• Lloyd got what he wanted but being the Green Ninja was not the simple obstacle to overcome.

• The weight of the responsibility and power was to heavy at first. So he put himself through the training, every morning to night he trained. it got bad at one point because he’d rarely leave, even to eat.

• It was an issue that had an intervention for, he wasn’t allowed to train without someone knowing or supervising for awhile.

• He broke down during the intervention, because he wanted to be ready and to strong enough, etc. But he never did through out the training. That night was a movie night where Lloyd got to watch all his favorite moviess.

• He struggled with getting into better eating habits after awhile of the non-stop training. The others were always patient with him though.

• Lloyd felt he had a lot to uphold and maintain especially as words were used like “chosen one” and “destiny” to describe his role.

• After awhile he started having a harder time expressing his emotions, but the Ninja caught on quick enough and did help him reverse that thinking and process. Sometimes it’s still hard.

• There are times where Lloyd blanks out to his own thoughts and he struggles to come out of them.

• Has anxiety and has had anxiety and panic attacks more then once. Knows the routine on how to deal with them.

• The first time he had a panic attack he was alone and it scared him. But he was to afraid to tell anyone.

• Sensei Wu was the first to find out and talked to Lloyd about it, he got the rest of the team involved after getting a plan and everything set up to help Lloyd.

• Probably has (undiagnosed) ADHD, notable hyperfixations were Sharks, Space (due to a comic book series), The history of Ninjago/the Ninja, and his current Hyperfixation is Plants/botany.

• To lighten the mood, RGB SIBLINGS.

•I am a firm believer in them.

• Lloyd intended to make matching bracelets for him, Kai and Nya but while making them decided to do it for all the ninja so now they all have needed bracelets consisting of a green, light blue, blue, red, black, and white bead.

• They (Kai and Nya) were the first people he saw as family besides Sensei Wu. Then they adopted him very much was like “Yes, he is our little brother. Whatcha gonna do about it?”

• Lloyd started copying both of them because he really looked up to them. Took their sides in arguments but took Nya’s when it was an argument between the two of them.

• Lloyd often let Nya paint his nails and sometimes practice makeup on him.

• He also got roped up into most of Kai’s pranks, he loves it though.

• Rgb siblings have a very good relationship and they are the closest out of any sibling esk relationship Lloyd has with the Ninja.

Nya

• She/They and Bisexual (fem leaning)

• I see a lot of the Ninja as Bi in some aspect (again i’m projecting.)

• Genderqueer but def more feminine leaning.

• Nya and Jay keep their half of the Yin Yang medallion on themselves 99% of the time.

• Nya is in fact taller then jay and is only an inch taller then Lloyd standing at 5’7”.

• Nya and Cole are best friends.

• They work out together go on jogs and help spot each other, etc.

• NYA IS B U F F, Can easily pick up Jay and carry him around.

• Both cringe looking back at the “Cole is my perfect match” thing.

• Has a spice tolerance because of Kai but not at the same level as him.

• P.i.x.a.l. and Nya like to work on stuff together, just like they’ll ask for tiny bits of advice or suggestions. It’s best described as parallel play? but they’re doing very similar things but on their own.

• Can not cook for shit, has burnt food more times then she can count.

• Messy clean room, tbh this can go for all ninja except Kai weirdly enough, his room is by far the most organized out of them all, still can be messy but overall clean.

• Skates, known longboards, regular skateboards and skates, she and Lloyd do it a lot.

•Knows how to ride a motorbike and is very proud of it. That thing is like her child.

• Also post becoming one with the sea she’s grown wayyyy more interested in the ocean and relating topics like preservation, marine biology, how the ocean works and how land is made, etc.

• Side effect from becoming one with the sea is she constantly smells like sea salt

• She also has markings left over in swirly shapes, and her eyes glow a faint blue in the dark.

• Subconsciously understands (aquatic) animals like they make their noises and subconsciously Nya’s brain translates it.

• The monastery has since also been made to follow proper recycling procedures.

• Goes out to help with any kind of beach clean ups, sometimes will drag the rest of the team to help.

• Likes pretty much every and all kinda of music. You name is she’s listen to it. While working on her Samurai X suit she’s find random music to play.

• One of the three (Jay, Her, and Cole) coffee addicts of the monastery, the others either don’t drink coffee (P.i.x.a.l. and Zane), drink tea (Lloyd and Sensei Wu), or drink Redbull (Kai.)

• Feels like she needs to prove her worth 24/7. Especially in early seasons. But she’s learned that she’s loved no matter her worth and that she’s important to the team, but there are times she struggles.

• Back to Nya and Jay, I feel like they’d have date nights once a week.

• It takes a variety of forms, like movie dates, all day dates, or simply staying over in each others rooms to cuddle.

• Or stargazing dates or long rides on Nya’s motorbike.

• I feel they’re 100% comfortable and honest with each other even if they don’t want to. Especially in the later seasons.

• They’ve had a few breakdowns together, relatively no one knows bout this as they take extra care into keeping it private. Unless the other was genuinely concerned then they might get Sensei Wu involved but that is the farthest they’ll go.

• Double dates with Kai and Skylor.

• Nya has two victims when she wants to experiment with stuff. Jay and Lloyd, at this point they have become accustomed to it.

• Couple times the entire ninja crew fell for the skincare ‘dates’ now it’s a once a month thing.

• SHES A GOOD INVENTOR, There’s like 4 (Nya, Jay, Zane, and P.i.x.a.l.) of them now, so sometimes with bigger projects they’ll get together to help out.

• Jaya kiss each other a lot, from pecks, to showering each other in kisses, forehead, nose, butterfly, hand kisses. They’re adorable.

• THEY BOTH ARE SO TICKLISH TO THE POINT THEYLL GET ALL GIGGLY WHEN THEY GET PEPPERED IN KISSES.

• Sometimes while they’ll out they’ll spot a pretty person and point them out and giggle about it to each other.

• Wears claw clips and has noticed Jay keeps an extra one on his at all times.

• They absolutely dance and play in the rain.

• If one of them gets sick because of it they feel bad and will stick with them 100% through it even if they end up catching it.

• They are so silly I love them hehehe.

• Saw this short comic and now it’s my person headcannon Nya for the samurai x idea from Lloyd.

• Daddy’s girl.

Jay

• He/Him and Bisexual (fem leaning)

•Jay is trans, ftm. Another one where I really like the trans headcanon. <333

• Second person in the group to have ADHD. Though he’s known about it for longer and takes medication to help but also has his own routine to help incase he forgets to take his meds.

• When he was younger his main hyper fixation was inventing and now it’s just carried over into regular interests. There are times where it’ll seep back into his brain for a short while but it hasn’t been as big as it was when he was younger.

• Loved building things with his dad ‼️ was bonding moments for them. He still has some of the trinkets they’ve made together. They’re his prized possessions.

• Learned to sew from his mom, which was useful ashe took his stuffed bear, Mister Cuddlywomp, around with his everywhere and he’d either get dirty or ripped so Edna taught Jay to see so he could repair the stuffed bear whenever.

• Had a hyperfixation on video games, birds, and Dinosaurs. His current hyperfixation is back to inventing.

• Rambles a lot and everybody listens, especially Nya. Lloyd on the other hand jumps in and they end up rambling together for hours.

• He also collects stuff, Crow collecting random stuff Jay and Dragon loving shiny Lloyd. They show off their collections to each other atleast once a week.

• He has sensitive ears and can get overwhelmed easily by loud noises. So he caries a pair of headphones on him at all times.

• Lloyd and Jay are very close and definitely hang out a lot whether it’s a parallel play thing (like Nya and p.i.x.a.l.) or it’s talking about their hyperfixations, or their collections, etc.

• Oh yeah, he’s definitely the shortest ninja I wanna say around 5’4”-5’5”.

• Has lightning looking scars from his first few attempts at his power. Can be a bit subconscious about them but then remembers this one time a kid said he looked badass from the scars.

• Again I love him and Nyas relationship because they’re so comfortable with each other.

• He’s the little spoon and loves when Nya plays with his hair.

• Cuddler, enough said.

• Power has gone out multiple times because he’s been jumpscared. So now everybody’s agreed to just not scare him. He’s vulnerable to pranks, no body is.

• Which, Jay has started 2 prank war before, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird it’s happened twice.

• Can’t skate, Nya has tried many times and all failed.

• I feel he definitely has some scaring especially because he’s always be scraped or have bandages on him as a kid.

• Rom com enthusiast ‼️

• Really wants to learn more about his biological parents, especially after that whole thing in Sky bound, I feel like it was just a one up thing and I would’ve loved to see him get to learn about them from Sensei Wu in canon. So after Skybound ended he begged Sensei Wu to tell him about his bio parents. He would’ve said yes and told him as much as he could remember.

• Nervous laughs when he feels awkward.

• Fidgets a lot with his fingers, or random items he has on hand.

• Bit of an artist, says he can’t draw, proceeds to make the most detailed and analyzed sketch of a invention he’s working on and says “I know it’s messy and I was a bit lazy with it sorry.”

• Likes to cloud gaze when he doesn’t have training. He finds it calming and satisfying to watch the clouds slowly pass by. Has almost fallen asleep out there.

• Jay sometimes feel likes he’s the useless member of the team, Kai is pretty useful with his knowledge of weapons, Zane could cook remarkably, Nya has made multiple vehicles and even a secret base as well as repair the bounty, Cole is a good baker and super strong (+ plus he has connections due to his fathers status) and pixel is an major knowledge source for them.

• He will sit in his room thinking about how he could become more useful, one time Nya found him like this and he spent the rest of the night crying to her. Apologizing for ever making her feel this way before.

• I feel they would’ve talk to each other about it more after Jay calmed down and how Nya felt during that time. It made them grow closer and understand each other better.

• Jay always makes sure to include everyone since then. No matter what’s going on.

• Has a stuffed animal collections and they hall have names and elaborate personalities and backstories. Many of them are friends with Lloyd’s stuffed animals.

• He’s a sweetheart overall, possibly writes poetry for Nya, or atleast has attempted it.

• Sharper cainines the left over from when he was a snake.

Kai

• He/They and Bisexual

• Kai is a demi-boy or bigender I can’t really decide because they both fit him.

•Massive spice tolerance, will and can drown his food in black pepper regardless of if it needs it or not. You can smell it.

• He’s a decent cook but has formally been banned from cooking from now on due to an incident where he almost set the kitchen on fire.

• Street smart.

• Avide romance enjoyer, Jays the only one who knows and has it used as blackmail.

• Jay gives him book recs.

• Average height, 5’8” in reality he’s 5’7”.

• He’s really warm to the touch, so he’s like a personal heater when it gets cold out.

• Kai and Skylor love each other a lot. But they were on and off for awhile. Eventually they made it official.

• Visits the Noodle house a lot to flirt with Skylor which she just ends up making him help her.

• Talks shit with Nya in Spanish.

• Attempted to teach Lloyd Spanish, only picked up little things.

• Kai has scars and burn marks from working in his family black smith. He got more the first time he used his powers, he no longer has finger prints.

• The only normal one, has no side effects from being turned into or being related to anything.

• Mama’s boy (cried over the song Mama’s boy)

• Kai has a mild hydrophobia, because he almost drowned as a kid. Nya helped pull him out and that was the first experience of her using her elemental powers whether she knew it or not.

• Kept having nightmares especially after and during Seabound.

• When his sister became the sea he’d stare out at the ocean, it was his two biggest fears combined but he still wanted to be near for Nya.

• He definitely had multiple breakdowns about and overall cried a lot. He was terrified.

• Actually really good with kids, loves them to death.

• Theater kid, even just a tiny bit. Don’t ask.

• Redbull drinker, but will drink other energy drinks if there’s none in the house.

• Scared to lose his power do sometimes he’ll wake up suddenly and try to light his hand to make sure he still has it,

• Could be 25° outside he could wear shorts and a t-shirt and be fine. Despite that he hates it.

Cole

• He/Him and Gay.

• Cole is the only cis person out of the Ninja but he does feel fem from time to time so you can see him experimenting with his styles and tends to keep his hair longer.

• Very good baker! Experiments with different recipes and stuff. Lloyd likes to help with whatever he can however he can.

• The tallest of the ninja at 6’1”

• After reverting from being a ghost he had a hard time adjusting back to being human.

• He had to adjust to eating and drinking again. Zane often would help him but he would forget at times.

• Mild hydrophobia, forgets he can touch water again.

• Forgets he can’t become invisible or pass through stuff.

• Sometimes has phantom feelings of being a ghost still, no physical altercations occurred really.

• He can still see ghost though, freaks him out a bunch but he’s made a few ghost friends.

• Loves music and has a vinyl and cd collections. Cole is very proud of it.

• He eventually began to enjoy dancing, using it to train along with other various forms of martial arts.

• He’s the Dad of the group.

• When he is stressed he bakes late at night, he’s scared a few of his teammates when they came to get water or smth late at night.

• Can kinda like feel the group like tremors, earthquakes, tsunamis, etc. Pretty useful and he often uses it when the city doesn’t pick up on stuff.

• He’s scared of being abandoned.

Zane

• He/They/It and Asexual

• I saw this once and I agree, they very obviously feel emotions, like love, heartbreak, happiness, sadness, hurt, etc. But I do not think when they were built their creators had them being sexually active in mind, I do not think they were built with any of those parts at all. And being asexual doesn’t mean you can’t love someone you absolutely can be attracted romantically to anyone just you don’t or barely feel sexual attraction. I’m stating this because of the fact they are Nindroids.

• Zane is nonbinary because i’m nonbinary and I say so.

• Zane and p.i.x.a.l. are dating but they aren’t the typically publicly affectionate kind, they’re obviously a couple but leave affectionate for private.

• Also the mom of the group.

• Most people are banned from using the kitchen except him and Cole. As well as kai if he has either of the two’s supervision.

• One of the more organized people, he’s more organized than Kai. Everything must be in place.

• He also follows recipes to a T. Not a simple mistake in his cooking.

• Can withstand the cold, he’s cold to the touch. Even if he is metal he’s colder than what it typically gets like.

• He’s like an info machine, they ask him lots of questions which can get very annoying at times. They don’t mean for it to be rude, they just want him to show off how much knowledge he holds.

• Second tallest of the ninja at 5’11”

• Let’s the team vent to him and help them find solutions or ways to help at all.

• Likes books but has only really read a few that he truely enjoyed.

Pixel

• Any pronouns and Asexual

• I saw this once and I agree, they very obviously feel emotions, like love, heartbreak, happiness, sadness, hurt, etc. But I do not think when they were built their creators had them being sexually active in mind, I do not think they were built with any of those parts at all. And being asexual doesn’t mean you can’t love someone you absolutely can be attracted romantically to anyone just you don’t or barely feel sexual attraction. I’m stating this because of the fact they are Nindroids.

• Pixel is a demi-girl.

• P.i.x.a.l. is also 5’11”

• Also someone the team vents to.

• Super cool badass but also the biggest softie, While Zane and her aren’t as affectionate, if you’re sneaky and lucky enough you’ll find them cuddling or out watching movies.

• P.i.x.a.l. is very good with kids, finding them really adorable.

[thebaffledcaptain]

Things that happened at the 250th anniversary of the British garrison at Fort Ticonderoga

as relayed by a humble fifer for His Majesty’s army, for his own records:

As if the unit needed any more musicians, we now have a fifth. We will not be sharing any with the rest of the British Brigade but you can bask in our glory and also our obnoxious fife practicing.

Speaking of which, we accidentally kind of adopted the 13-year-old drummer from the 24th. We joked about poaching from from his unit until we actually had to talk him out of it because he's not based in our area and, being 13, cannot drive himself to events that are fully in a different state.

At some point, however, he shows up in a bright yellow 26th regiment coat, having been temporarily poached to drum their musket demonstration anyway.

For some reason the Captain decided to entrust Music with kitchen duty this weekend, which seemed like a risky move at first given that we are essentially a bunch of overgrown teenagers who simultaneously overcooked the rice and undercooked the peas, but it ended up being pretty damn good apart from that. I cannot personally take credit for much as I was in the middle of Lake Champlain for the entirety of the time supper was being cooked.

We made a frankly ludicrous amount of boiled cabbage for dinner (lunch). No one was going to eat that much cabbage. The officers instructed us to dispose of it somehow.

Of course, we couldn't just let one person do it. All six of us had to go. Our 21-year-old acting fife major took this job very seriously.

"Cabbage Detail... to the front… march!”

The cabbage was rather inelegantly dumped into a pile on the edge of the woods. We gave it a soldier's funeral (saluted it and sang Roslin Castle badly).

Helped to load the bateau onto the cart to be put into the water. Little 24th drummer showed up in full regimental regalia because no one in his unit warned him the thing was covered in pine tar (which, I realized, has a rather pleasant smell that made the whole ordeal much more bearable). His white smallclothes did not make it out entirely unscathed.

Fellow Cheshire fifer and I immediately volunteered to be part of the boat crew. I had assumed the spots would go faster but perhaps most people don't want to spend half an hour bailing lake water out of a bateau.

Some guy at the marina was either high or drunk and heckled us for a solid 10 minutes as we loaded the thing into the water. I suppose it's not every day you see a bunch of 18th century soldiers get into a glorified canoe and start bailing within two minutes but still, you'd think that if something worked with consistent success for thousands of years even a guy with no sense of history would realize that's not going to change now.

Like, we were maybe 200 feet out and he was still going. He just could not fathom that we could get around the point and to the dock within the 25 minute estimate given to him by our boatmaster. But you know, in his defense, maybe it was 30 minutes and not 25...

Supper was quite good except that, with Music doing the cooking, we almost de-soldered a kettle by cooking a bunch of dill and potatoes in it without any water. Once again I was on the lake while this happened so this was not my fault.

I managed to lose my modern thumbpick for my mandolin at home somewhere along the line and didn’t realize until I got to the event. I used a horn button instead. I would not recommend it unless you have no other choice.

Small tavern night but nothing compared to the raving tavern we had at Dey Mansion. A bunch of boy scouts sleeping over with LED headlights were running around and kind of killing the vibe.

Next morning is rainy and dull. At least one fellow sleeps through reveille but in his defense he was feeling quite awful from a migraine, in period accurate style.

Also in period accurate style, the Captain shows up with two dozen Dunkin Donuts for the 22nd lads now that a fire isn't an option. That's how you know it's Sunday morning. Little 24 manages to snag two.

In his defense, I had two as well. The 13-year-old boy in me won. I figured I'd spent enough time on the two-person saw yesterday to earn it.

For some reason yesterday I decided to volunteer for gabion duty in the morning. Now it’s raining and I don’t know why I did that.

The gabion crew spends maybe 45 minutes complaining in the mud and the rain. There’s an assembly line going: a couple guys digging, a couple guys passing the buckets up, one guy dumping them and throwing them back down, and a Bucket Boy to catch them. Allegedly.

The banter is spectacular. Our only marine is nearly decapitated by a flying bucket. Little 24 shows up (in a DIFFERENT 26th coat) to be the Bucket Boy but our Bucket Boy sucks and keeps tossing the buckets in the wrong direction. The musicians threaten several people with the cat-o-nine. None of this is OSHA approved. There’s talk of unionizing. The cabbage is still in a pile at the edge of the woods.

At some point the artillery company marches out and we all collectively decide gabion duty is done despite being on duty for another hour or something. Ironically enough this was one of the more enjoyable and memorable parts of the event by virtue of it being so miserable. It was quite authentic.

Also really enjoyed the singular marine (with his head thankfully still intact after the gabions) at this event, who, when I asked if my brand new forage cap—rather large on my apparently rather small head—was still holding up after hauling mud around for 45 minutes, observed that the front was practically over my ear and very politely commented “it’s very rakish”

We all kind of shuffle around in the grass to get the mud off our shoes. In my own words, my ‘dashes are absolutely spattered. I am still repeating this phrase because it sounds like British slang for being really drunk or something.

I return to the barracks to hold some very warm hard boiled eggs in my very cold hands. Very effective, would recommend.

Not much going on apart from a few very dedicated visitors who braved the rain to make it to the event. We march out an hour early. My fellow fifer and I get to the car and make a beeline for the local Stewart’s for shakes to ease the post-reenactment depression.

All in all, a small but memorable event that, for me, really solidified the concept that Normal People don’t drive several hours to dress up in period clothing and do physical labor. I, however, am not Normal People, and had a great time.

[thecomfywriter]

OC quote tag

okay, i got this one from @urnumber1star. if i'm interpreting this one correctly, it's using quotes from your oc to show the general vibe of them?

BET.

i'll do my main character from tov (Alan) since this man sure does have a bunch of goofy quotes.

--

"My voice had cracked, and I wanted to die."

“My seniors nearly branded a man with a knife! Apologies for my volume but, that-! That is not even how you do it!"

"Suffering was her last shred of humanity"

[this is Caramel speaking:] "But now we have our issues, don't we? You've seen a bit too much." [Alan:] "I can unsee it?"

"Most fondly was the long-haired grass that brushed against our thighs, though not really, because none of this was real, and I could not feel a thing.”

"There were occasional landmarks Morreial decided to take me: the high mountains of the Himalayas, whereupon my poor pace climbing up those rocky beds, he scoffed jibing words and offered to carry me on his back like a child. I should note, I did not take up his offer (I do not have pride, but I am not so undignified either) , but instead panted my way as much as I could before his impatience grew and he teleported us to the peaks of the Non-Mage’s highest mountain."

“Absolutely horrendous. Awful. I am the epitome of an incompetent man in that field of training.”

“Distressing? Hilbert! Qu’quoi hates you! Everyone in Soilaila does. You cannot be starting fights with the Redheaded Bandit of all people, in the middle of the street with magic during a magic ban!”

“Can a man not stretch after breaking his back so— mhmm— violently? Maadh, Morreial. Did you even try to help me?"

"NO! I will bring them here. Do not tell them about the dreams. None of them."

"As much as I wish you did not know, I cannot help it that you do. My mind is essentially yours now."

"Everything hurts, Cara. My body, my head, my mind…. everything always hurts. My training, my schoolings, my lack of sleep…. I cannot take it any longer. But I cannot stop. There is a momentum that is driving me, accelerating me towards a force I cannot deny. Every time I perform magic, I feel more alive, and yet all the more insane. The more I suppress it, the stronger I crave meat. The more I wrap them, the longer my wounds bleed. Everything bruises me, as though my body were made of silk and frost. I cannot control how weakened my physicality has become, and yet I have never felt the more stronger. What cruel paradox is this?”

“I know it is nothing compared to the pain you have experienced, and I truly cannot fathom the loneliness of not having a Family to share a community with. But do not ever dare to say you do not have a family, Caramel. Because you are my family just as much as you are Cara’s and Morreial’s. When I imagine my future, I see you in it. This is not some friendship  where I learn from you and that is the end of it. I meant it when I said I trust you, wholeheartedly and unconditionally. And I am here for you, even if I am awful company.”

"Damn the CVM. You need me more."

"I have no such intentions of denying you, Caramel. Not now, not ever."

EXCEPT 15 ISN'T ENOUGH SO I'M ADDING AN EXTRA 10 LMAO SUE ME 😤

16. "She did not kill my mother. Not alone. If anyone is responsible for my Valeen's death, it is you. Because you chose Von Doro over her every single time for years. You killed her spirit before Von Doro even had the chance to kill her body. Shame on you."

17. “Go away, Caramel. I trusted you wholeheartedly. All I asked for was a couple of days and some support. All I asked for was for you to trust me back. And you could not even do that much. You wanted me to abandon the man who took me in without hesitation when he himself lived in poverty because… what? What reason have you ever given me? What was the justification behind your baseless anger? You have never given me any response, anything! And I respected that! But do you truly respect me so little that you could not extend the same courtesy onto me?”

18. "Do you want to fight me? Do you think you will be able to win? Do you think you will be able to stop me? Me?"

19. "I was long gone before any of you had the chance to save me."

20. "No... Do not say that. I respect you more than the moon shines, Caramel."

21. "I will do it for you. I will burden all your sins. Be your gemba-bor. I will kill him for you. His blood does not have to be your unbecoming."

22. "Darkness is your domain. It will never be mine."

23. "And you... I will have fun making you my first victim."

24. "I want to draw out her suffering. To memorize the shade of her blood in every lighting."

25. "I suppose I will see you in hell then."

OKAY. i will stop here before i go overboard, but as you can tell... my boy has a downfall 😞 RIP middle-book Alan. I will always miss you.

once again! open tag! have fun!

[grumpycakes]

SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE VOTE 2, DISASTER BOOGALOO CONT. **UPDATED

DAY 3 10/19/2023 • OOPS NO VOTE • 12 Noon EST

< Previous (Day 2)

So McHenry saunters in w the entourage, calls them to order, and the Chaplin leads in on prayer.

Chaplin’s prayer is basically “we’re over it but got grant us the compassion and wisdom to get our shit together and govern for the country, Amen” just flower-ier and less sassy.

Still hate that we gotta have a prayer before govt work but

Still gotta have them pledge allegiance

AND THEN MCHENRY IMMEDIATELY CALLS A RECESS.

So what TF happened?

Jim Jordan in a moment of clarity (and probably some shaming from his colleagues) realized he doesn’t have the votes, and won’t for a while. So he has TEMPORARILY pulled his bid for the Speakership.

In the meantime, it looks like they are working on a proposal for McHenry to take over some speakership roles for a LIMITED TIME. We won’t know how long until the proposal is made/put before congress.

This move is most likely JUST to get the budget done and agree on how much aid we’ll be sending to Ukraine and Israel. Otherwise the Government will shut down and shit will go into free fall. This covers the asses of the Republicans while still not having to pick a speaker.

It also is taxing to force them all in session DAILY for at least 2 hours to do these votes.

SOME TAKEAWAYS I’VE SEEN

We could still get a 3rd vote today depending on how fast they make up the legislation

This isn’t great for Jordan, it’s a weak move to let someone else do speaker things while you beg and bribe people to vote for you

A lot of the far rights/hardliners are mad about the move to give temporary powers. Basically advocating for making everyone stay and suffer multiple rounds of voting again (cannot fathom why when it just made McCarthy look stupid last time, unless they truly just would rather burn the govt to the ground than do anything helpful)

Reportedly McHenry doesn’t want temporary powers either rofl

While the republicans will whine and moan that the Dems should have bailed them out (either by voting present for McCarthy or by the same for the new speakership votes) it is not their job NOR DID REPUBLICANS HELP THEM AT ALL WHEN THEY HAD THIS NARROW OF A MAJORITY. And they didn’t devolve into this kind of chaos

Dems are just asking to pass budgets and aid, and are probably just stepping out of the way of this train wreck

This has never been an issue till this year (and this partisanship/far right monstrosity the Republicans have fomented)

The next speaker will most likely IMMEDIATELY reverse that dumbass rule that one person can force a vote to remove the speaker

APPARENTLY some of the republicans that did not vote for Jordan have been receiving “Credible death threats.” Over it????? JFC

Yes, since they called a session to vote, they HAD to gavel in, pray and get set up to CALL IT OFF. And that’s hilariously stupid

ADDED EDIT 8PM 10/19/2023

Lolll fuck. So Jim Jordan had a “Closed door meeting” with the rest of the republicans to work out how/if to give McHenry additional powers and CAME OUT AN HOUR LATER SAYING THERE WILL BE NO SPECIAL POWERS. HE’S GONNA GO AGAIN. (Didn’t happen today lol) They apparently were fighting over whether or not it’s LeGaL or cOnStiTuTiOnAl to give the interim speaker powers. Loll but according to McCarthy when Gaetz tried to argue they basically told him to shut up. So it sounds like some of the repubs are still mildly homicidal abt Gaetz.

But a few things,

1. It’s legal and constitutional if y’all MAKE LEGISLATION FOR IT. And you can make the legislation be like ONLY THIS ONCE CAUSE WE GOTS PROBLEMS

2. I cannot fathom why they are so down bad to embarrass themselves. This doesn’t look good, this isn’t inspiring confidence, and since no one on the repubs are willing to budge or concede for each other you’re fighting a losing battle. You have the majority, use it.

3 . This feels like weird toxic grandstanding of if you just stand your ground it’ll bend but like, it’s not HAPPENING. And people will hate you worse for fucking w the government.

4. OH AND IF YHEY PASS THIS AND DEMS JOIN IN FOR IT TO HAPPEN IS RHAT NOT A WIN FOR THE REPUBS????? That they can get ANYTHING DONE?????

McCarthy talked to reporters and said it’s the fault of Gaetz, the “Crazy 8” (really classy dude) and the dems. And that he was taken out by less than a quarter of the house. But my dude. If it was 8 of your Repubs and then ALL THE DEMOCRATS. That’s. That’s a MAJORITY OF THE HOUSE.

Jim Jordan apparently did denounce the death threats agaisnt republicans.

END ADDITION

So that’s where we are @ u @ chaos-ville. I’ll make a new post or update y’all if they do a vote today.

Next (Day 4 Vote 3) >

[katnissmellarkkk]

warning : rant about a show that ended in 2017.

you know what is a bad, bad, terrible way to write a love story?

okay well i gotta get super specific with this so buckle up because it’s literally just me explaining how my last favorite couple was ruined and now i cannot even fathom or care if they even ended up together.

so okay, female character (s) dislikes male character (t) because she thinks he murdered her best friend. then s gets accused of murdering her best friend. and she realizes she may be getting framed for it. so she decides to volunteer to tutor t to try and get information out of him in case he knows more than she thinks. he doesn’t but they end up catching feelings because the actors have insane chemistry.

then skip forward some time and s breaks up with t because her stalker is threatening to kill him. and he tries to fight for her but then seemingly turns on her because he thinks she cheated (which she did not but she leads him to think so to get him to let her go). only to discover in the end he only pretended to believe she cheated so he could try to help her catch her stalker.

now skip forward time and the stalker is back. s is lying to t again to keep him from getting involved and getting hurt. but he gets mad and goes and tries to figure out what’s going on that she won’t tell him. he decides to help the stalker to try and be a double agent. it goes terrible and s finds out he’s helping her stalker and thinks t never actually loved her at all and was just pretending for the last year in order to get revenge on her for things her dead bestie did to him.

so anyways, he disappears for a while and she gets committed to a mental hospital after believing she saw his body in the woods. but then she also joins forces with her stalker in order to figure out if t is still alive. he is and he tells her he always loved her and he was just trying to help her get rid of her stalker so her life could go back to normal.

anyways other stuff happens but blah blah blah they’re the only couple on the show to not break up again until the writers decide to do a timejump in season six.

and this is where things go SOUTH.

okay, so first off s basically starts to date her best friend’s (not the dead one) ex boyfriend. and basically loses her whole personality for this terrible relationship where he doesn’t even love her back and she pretty much obsesses over him 24/7. but the only time she isn’t obsessed with him is when she’s in the same vicinity as t. like the moment t shows up she basically forgets she has a boyfriend. which is why the writers decided to only let t show up a total of eleven minutes in 10 episodes. but t also isn’t single anymore. he’s now got a serious girlfriend, y, who makes s very jealous at first.

but things then manage to get even worse. s and her boyfriend break up but then t proposes to y. and then s tells t to take y and leave town to get away from the stalker still after her. and he agrees to but before he goes, he decides to tell s that he still has feelings for her, that he maybe was even planning on leaving y to be with her, but — and this is the moment that really began to ruin them for me — he realized that he cannot imagine his life without y anymore. and that he’s choosing her, even if he still loves s.

then other things kind of occur after that but basically s gets shot by her stalker and t and y get in a car accident while trying to leave town. and so t really doesn’t care that s got shot. and all he really says is “oh i meant to call you” when she shows up to console him because y is now in a coma.

and here’s where things get to rock bottom (for me). y wakes up out of her coma and t rushes to marry her and pronounce his love for her only for her to die in front of his eyes. which okay, terrible for him. but i care much more about the whole picture here.

because now, ever since the timejump, t has actually chosen y over s at every single opportunity to do so. all the way to her death, whenever it was a choice, he chose her. and it wasn’t until she was dead and no longer an option did he begin to actually want s back.

and yeah, anyways. t and s still ended up together (offscreen) and it was supposed to be romantic but it wasn’t. in my opinion it was worse than them never getting back together at all.

because she was his second choice in every single way humanly possible and i’ll never forgive the writers for ruining my favorite couple at that time.

okay anyways rant over. that had been sitting on my mind since 2017.

and if anyone was curious, s was spencer, t was toby, y was yvonne and the show was pretty little liars.

[limeade-l3sbian]

I actually really appreciate you for that ratings posts.

The “humbling”‘aspect is enraging because it’s men allocating and ranking us as inferior, their opinions are never solicited, it’s just arrogance how they refuse to see us as equals.

I had a man online do that to my art once. Said it would look good in a coffee shop. Really triggered me.

I’m humble but I’m also honest that while I’m not good at everything, I’m very good at drawing. It’s a skill I’ve practiced and got into from an early age and over the years got good at. I’ve gotten 2 different ribbons for some of my ceramics pieces at an art fair. I’m proud of my art work and my sister loved a piece so much she asked for it as a Christmas gift. Someone else asked if I could draw his cat for him. So I’ve done a few “commissions” (I’m not a professional, it repulsed me how I was just trying to have a positive interaction and it was twisted as me seeking approval and how rude it was. Covertly suggesting it wasn’t good enough when I didn’t ask. Also artists don’t rate each others art. Even my art teacher said art is art. I do pencil sketches. My teacher when I took classes really liked them I mean I did well and was already self taught. My mother ‘s side of the family jokes that I got their “art gene my mom would joke that the art gene skipped her, because her brother and sister are really good, my uncle did fine art that looks like you can touch it, and my cousin is good too. )

Also an artist would never say that they don’t rate people’s art work because you can’t really “rate” art. It triggered me because I always worry about being good enough. And I haven’t drawn in a while due to oppressive circumstances like not even having privacy and personal space and being constantly in survival. Don’t sleep well, so I get anxious “what if I can’t draw again?”

Men are evil. Like why do they feel the need to “humble “ us? That pisses me off when they act like a judge of my value that makes me feel like this 🔪🔪

How do I not let past comments ruin my enthusiasm?

After my mom died, after I sought help, after I discolored sexual abuse, and was blamed… (and I only stopped for the sake of other women,) I acted out my traumas with men online and woukd engegr in behaviors while under the influence, cause I figured I was ruined anyway, I felt suicidal and wanted ti dissociated. Only stopped because I care about how my choices can harm other women. ) but it’s ironic because I feel like I ruined myself by engaging and interacting with men.

I grew up in a bubble I truly didn’t fathom how cruel they are.

I want to feel passionate and “narcissistic” about how good I am at art again.

Is it a jealously thing? Why do they do it ?

I wish I never engaged, I feel ruined like it will always be in my head, thar rating/ like sense of not feeling good enough existed before that comment but I don’t want it to crush my joy, it triggered me and I ruminjatr over the fear of others not liking my art; I’ve always used it to connect with other. I feel like being traumatized by men has made it so I struggle to connect/lost the connection I miss that I use to have to myself.

Do a lot of men lack talent? Is that the thing?

I could get over being given a 1/10 or told I’m ugly because my own father use to neg me while everyone else called me pretty, I know whh men neg. But it feels soul crushing to go after something personal like that.

You cannot be ruined, and you carry the same diligence and discipline that every artist carries.

I weirdly had a lot of artist friends growing up (weird because I didn't seek them out. We would just be friends and it would come out that they're really good artists lol), and I never told them that they were "lucky" they were so good. I told them "you've got a lot of patience" and when I got older, my go-to was always, "Damn, the discipline on you is insane."

Writing and visual art are similar but different. I write, but like you said, I haven't really been doing it the way I used to. There is a lot of love and self reflection and patience that goes into getting something the way you want it. Not the way people will enjoy it, but the way you want it.

You are afraid you will never be "able" to draw again. I have fears that I will never be "able" to write again. Our circumstances are undoubtedly different in terms of what has forced us to push aside our passions, but that anxiety and fear of never being able to return is the same. And I think, for me, the answer is: we might not.

We might not get back to the way we used to draw/write. What comes after these current and past tribulations in your life will change because of the circumstances that have forced you to go into survival mode (I am deeply sorry about your mom). You won't see the world the way you did after this. There will be small things in this life that you are now aware of. New fears. New dreams. New perspectives. New attitudes. You'll have changed, so it's not so insane that your art will change with you.

For me, writing used to be an escapism. Less realistic and more the way I wished things were. But I realized a few years ago that I feel more connected to my writing when I incorporate problems that I have or that I see around me. But it's still hard for me on a technical level to return to form.

The comments will hurt. Even the strongest people admit that despite the walls and thick skin they build, there is always a crack that someone manages to slip through. That, from a man or woman, is an unfortunate part of life. People will try and give you grief about something they know nothing about. My father is probably the worst writer I have ever met LMAO but he tried to be rude about my writing as a child. As a child. He was trying to break me down before I could even stay home on my own.

It's not about repelling the comments at all times. I guess in a sense, it's like being your confidence's immune system. Absorb these comments, see what you can take from it. If there's nothing there, then you will feel the effects, but it'll flush out eventually like the shit it is. And if there is something to it, then hold onto that and flush out the rest.

Returning to that passion might be a longer road than the first time around. But you have that rare and impressive discipline of artists that makes people annoyed. That ability to burn for progress. That you even ache to return to form is like noticing the faint light in your soul's window, proving that something is still flickering in there.

When you find it again, because you will, it will look different. The lines may be softer or more jagged. You might favor this color over that one now. All these little things will be so different! But when you find it again, because you will, you'll look back at the old way you used to do things and think, "That's so funny. I used to be obsessed with doing it that way."

And there won't be anything wrong with the old passion, you'll just have a new one. <3

[vaicomcas]

Thank you so much for you comliments.you have really been a great inspiration for me to start my own story

so you said that you agreed with someone else's post that you woulden't mind cas suffering if the story was about him, and I agree in fact I wouldn't mind if cas's suffering was actually doing anything for the plot, some times he suffered and it did not make any sense like in s12 we had two episodes 10 and 12 if I am not wrong and they did not discuss it any further. so where they even for?

the one with Lily gave a really good look at cas's past but a lot of people use it villanise cas and it angers me so much

SPN writers used all of their side characters as plot devices, I still haven't understood why crowely had to go.

Yeah, first of all I have never understood the desire for "happy ending" (but I know others such as my own husband who cannot fathom the appreciation or even tolerance of sad endings). That personal preference aside, any compelling character goes through hardship and suffering, just like in life everybody experiences pain and humiliation. The problem with the show is what extreme trauma they put Castiel through was not used to charactrize and develop his character and often not even acknowledged. For those of us who see Castiel as the main character, we experience him being pushed aside and used as a tool in his own story.

I actually really like the Lily Sunder episode, even though there is a lot in it that bothers me (the disrespect Dean showed both to Cas and to his angel buddies, the way they as always set Cas up to have to chose between his angel identity and the Winchesters, by making the angels evil of course, and did I mention Dean's assholery?), it is actually one of the few episodes that was all about Castiel, about who he is. I am glad I never saw those posts that villainize him for this episode (how? never mind don't tell me), I would be angered too.

I am not too sure about the point of "stuck in the middle with you" either. I think part of it is to up the ante on the Mary's "betrayal" arc, so they need some serious consequence that viewers would care about . The whole s12 is very depressing-- all about Castiel being down on himself but also his complete dedication to the Winchesters at the same time (this one, and later killing of Billie). Did they intend to show Castiel's dedication to Winchesters as part of him losing his agency? Because that would actually be refreshing, and would be consistent with the choosing Kelly/Jack part ("I've been so lost. I am not lost anymore"). But then as soon as he stopped being lost they killed him, and then it's back to him being sidekick again. They are kind of all over the place arent they? They neither developed the de*tiel thing (which was very palpable in s12) nor developed Castiel as his own character.

One of the worst example for me was when we learned that he got mind wiped over and over for at least thousands of years. It is so horrific but all they used that for was to set up first the "simulated killing of Dean" and then the crypt scene so they get that fake conflict arc with Dean. (It does seem like the show was promoting de*tiel here) Then, it was no longer mentioned ever again, and they immediately turn Naomi, the one who violated and tortured him over thousands of years, the one who murdered a restaurant full of innocent people in cold blood a few episodes ago, into a "good guy" who cares about people and wanted to reconcile with Castiel , and made him seem foolish for not trusting her on the spot, by making Dean wisely believing Naomi in contrast. It makes zero sense all around. Even later when they brought Naomi back she still gets to be some noble figure and Castiel doesn't even get to be mad at her for more than five seconds.

Later they make him go into Dean's mind and marvel "there is so much trauma". While Castiel's trauma, far exceeding any human could possibly imagine, was only used to build up Dean Winchester.

[chiyobambino]

Just speaking into the void here, but I need to rant. If you read this, thank you for bearing with me through this long post.

I have mommy issues, plain and simple. I'm the eldest daughter of parents that divorced during those tender, formative years of childhood, and although that wasn't the biggest impact on me, it was still a heavy blow. I've been reflecting a lot on my relationship with my mother, and it's so strange; she isn't aware that there's an issue, even though I'm in constant conflict and turmoil about her in these recent months. I don't know where it came from, but one day I was just AWARE of the impact that her emotional absence yet overbearing, constant presence had/has on me. When I was talking to my best friend about my realization, she automatically went, "Yeah, I've known since middle school when you cried because you got a C on your report card, or when you wouldn't do things because you thought your mom would find out somehow." Everyone around me knew it, except me. Growing up, my mom wasn't the most affectionate, most loving, or most nurturing toward me, or my younger siblings, I suspect because I wasn't the boy that she wanted (probably would have been the same if I had been a boy, though); the divorce after my sister turned about three definitely didn't help either. We grew up with an emotionally distant, yet domineering mother; she might not have smiled at us with love and pride, but she made sure we had a strict routine and straight A's. Heck, I even became a second mother when she started leaving it to me to make sure that my siblings were handled when she had to work. To this day, at three weeks shy of my 21st birthday, I still get treated as the second mother, even though my mother has since remarried. I still, in the deepest part of my psyche, cannot fathom talking back to my mother for fear of the consequences; when I was younger, they were physical, now, they are emotional and psychological. My best friend tells me that I should talk to my mother about my issues with her, however, I recognize that my mother is as painfully human as I, yet, I still see her as some untouchable persona that would receive my concerns with abject apathy, or worse, anger.

I know that my mom has unsolved issues and trauma from her life that carried over into her parenting, and bred Me. My mother is still repulsed when people touch her, even her own husband; she is uncaring of the feelings of those around her, opting to believe that everyone is "sensitive; her views on love are, depressing, to say the least; despite all of this, she does not see anything wrong with her opinions or actions. I am a mirror of her, as much as I hate for that to be the case. I have taken on many of her qualities, for better or worse, and I am doing my best to break away from her habits. However, growing up with the idea that being like her would finally make her happy is still somewhat imbedded in my consciousness. I love her very dearly, and want her in my life. She was not/is not always a tyrannical figure, but I wish that she had been the nurturing, loving mother figure that I, we(my siblings and I) needed. She was there for us when it mattered, but her own emotional issues made it hard for her to be empathetic and relate to us outside of an authority figure. She is now trying to understand and relate to us, but I fear that the damage has been done already, 10 years later.

So here I sit, contemplating what to do next in my journey to self-healing and resolving my issues with my mother. I work on re-parenting myself, and giving myself the type of love and support that I needed growing up, but it's very hard when you don't have a good example of how it's supposed to look in the first place. I fantasize and imagine an indulgent childhood where I didn't have to take on the role of "pseudo-mother" at 11, or where my mother was warm and receptive and didn't reject our touch or emotions. A childhood where my mother was supportive of things outside of education and extracurricular activities; a childhood where I didn't feel like a failure for making a C in 7th grade algebra, and went to my dad about it before my mom because I knew how she would react to it and needed him to cushion the emotional blow she would leave. I know that my mother is only human, and has built herself up on the experiences of her life; but I can't help but wish that life has been much gentler with her, treated her more kindly.

I find myself crying a lot recently, something I hadn't allowed myself to do in the past for fear of my mother calling me weak and sensitive. But I find it to be cleansing during these times of mourning a childhood that I could have had. Despite this, I'm trying to use these times to also reflect on the woman that I have the capacity to become.

[actualaster]

Despite being told that people see my comments on posts Escape Containment sometimes it's always still wild to see somebody reblogging some post from months or longer ago that's how many reblogs removed and my comment is there in front of me.

Especially when it's people I'm not mutuals with asdhgkg

Also especially odd when a mutual who wasn't online reblogs a post of mine days later from somebody else because it's still being passed around asdjtjgj

I don't think I'll ever get used to it, it's always a surprise

[tsuru-light]

I've been thinking about such a cute AU <3 An ABO princess and prince one, which is a really good excuse to draw JL really pretty, So I've done a lot of sketches for it lol! These are the first 2 since I couldn't decided which version I liked better. My summary from my twitter underneath.

I know this is all incredibly cliche but it just a really good excuse to make some cute fluffy moments and draw them out <3 and have JL in cute dresses. This is just the recap of first noticing to first interaction as its really hard to write on twt lol

JL is a princess of a powerful wealthy nation. Of course all the lords/ friendly nations princes want to marry him basically for benefit of what they'd gain. however, JL is extremely cold with a huge fuck you how dare you speak to me attitude, with good reason.

1/

He'd always been a bit bratty but ramped up as he got closer to courting age, do to that. He imagined a fairytail lovedovey ideal for his marriage. But each alpha he meets really jades him more, as they just perceive a trophy and status.

2/

So he ends up coming off w/ a reputation of very cold and bratty attitude, unwilling to really engage in deep conversation or even dance at a ball with an alpha. For his station no one can say anything about him being "picky" but his father. Tho behind his back there sure is.

3/

I think for SZ he'd be a very gentle almost a bit shy Alpha. Def not pushy or aggressive. And Although he thinks JL is extremely beautiful, albeit cold, he also thinks he's out of his league, as the prince of a small mountainous nation. So he doesn't engage with JL much.

4/

Even tho JL won't interact with alphas much he sure watches them, as in the end he will eventually have to choose. Through this, when ever he manages to spy a little during events SZ gains little points here and there from JL, though he is unaware of it.

5/

little by little, SZ is seen being always kind and patient even with servants, never sleezy with omega, kind to animals even to stop and pet the kitchen cat, never rowdy and drunk at the end of parties and he never engages in "dick measuring contests" with other alpha.

6/

And once JL starts looking, he can't stop. He thinks that he finally knows after a couple years. The big issue is: SZ is on his radar however, he is not on SZ's, and he cannot fathom why. It is normal for an alpha to approach, not an omega.

7/

JL starts standing a bit closer at any events, trying to give SZ's nation a bit of preferential treatment when he can push for it, staring holes in the back of SZ's head, which sz probably notices the most honestly, that suddenly that cold princess is always almost glaring.

8/

SZ isn't sure what he's done to gain the ire of the princess who hates alphas. but finally one day he thinks he'd like to speak with him about something. or maybe, possibly, he'd finally like to dance. After all wouldn't he possibly feel a bit lonely after all this time.

9/

when he sees SZ approach, JL suddenly feels incredibly nervous but some how elated. Almost tripping over his words to answer SZ after he greets him and asks a very humble, would you care to dance, with his assent and slips his hand in SZs as he stands up. And SZ leads him.

10/

[lilikags]

This is a little appreciation for all the moots I have! <3 This is long, so it’ll start below the cut. Just some words for this blog first:

✤ To all my followers: Thank you for your support! I appreciate it so much, and I hope to give you all the content you signed up for as soon as possible.  ✤ If you have a matchup or request sent and it’s been a while, I’m sorry >~< I only have enough time to create one content post/day, and I’ll definitely get to it! I will be busy August though, so I will be inactive for a few weeks due to it. I’ll try to get as much writing as possible though!  ✤ As I have a bunch of matchups and requests, I won’t be opening up my surprises for 500 followers yet, I will be doing them after I finish them. Keep your eyes peeled though! 

Dearest @kadoui,  As always, each appreciation letter starts with you. You brought me here to tumblr from a place I do not want to mention, and I always hate how we always miss each other on discord (┬┬﹏┬┬) I really hope we can vc as our og woh group so do let us know what time u wanna vc- In all nostalgia, I really started to love you /p (platonic) when our writing club in the hs au was active, and you’re so creative. You’ve been a huge inspiration to me, and one day, I will use our hanahaki au ides in my fics :>

Dear @rinemoon,  I cannot begin to fathom what kind of angst I would be writing (it would be none) without you and I sincerely love the hanahaki angst au ideas we came up with last summer. I can’t belive we’ve been friends for over a year and I treasure each and every one of our memories together. Keep singing, I believe in Rinnie Voice Supremacy !!

For my bestie @kazuqha, BESTIE- if I had not joined the server because of Sophie i would NOT be where I am today and friends with all of you and talking in the Liyue Harbor server and I would not be able to simp for Kazuha with you- oh gosh, we’re two clowns but I’m the smaller one :lh_oop: 

Fellow clowns @astrealia and @help-wtf-am-i-even-doing, We are clowns and we are proudly so. We run a server chaotically, and modding is when we get serious but what do we know other than setting up a server /j We are the broke Qixing except Taz has a wallet 😳 /lh lmao we are chaotic clowns and I enjoy clowning with you.

To @serowotonin & @nightshade-shot, Hey girls we like chilling and sometimes sharing braincells between the three of us and that’s really cool. What english-

Sincere apology & thanks to @test-tube, I think you followed for Voices of Teyvat and you went and got me being a clown, thank you for sticking with me. Kat, you are on my dash like every day- Anyways if I come into your inbox randomly with some weird statement it’s because I feel very familiar/casual with you so -3-

Yo, @oiphity, my other braincell, ISIDORE I MUST CONFESS I COULDN’T MEMORIZE YOUR NAME UNTIL,,, recently-ish,,, my brain put you as oiphity for the longest time whoop. I love our cursed E7 thoughts and we should continue making more,,, oh and that reminds me i still have a tab open to reply to the taking djb to burlington post whoop- i will be taking my time /j

Hello @spookii-does-stuff​,  Greetings to our local tenebria simp. If you have any questions about E7 please do ask :> I like feeling knowledgeable xD I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE WHO PLAYS BOTH E7 AND GENSHIN SO YES (yes you and ily)

To those in the Liyue Harbor server: This is not Liyue harbor, it’s run by broke “qixing” and a chaotic port, what is this /s /lh In any case, I love you all, keep being the chaotic bunch you are and keep the server alive ilysm no breaking rules i wrote them 

To those in the Attack on Academia server: I love talking to you guys and you’ve helped me as a writer so much, and this recent collab has been great! I’m so glad Pink got me to join ehe. I wouldn’t have been able to meet all of you otherwise! A special shoutout to Ze @reddriot​ for helping me out sm <333

And to everyone else reading this: If I didn’t tag you and you’re a moot I’m so sorry but I’m writing this at 10 PM- BUT I CAN ASSURE YOU I LOVE YOUR PRESENCE ON MY DASH AND PLEASE INTERACT BECAUSE I SUCK AT GOING INTO INBOXES 

[whumpingcrow]

Pt.20 "Into the Frying Pan"

CW: airplane setting, hospital setting, police mention, drugs/alcohol/cigarettes, nightmare/ptsd mention, tics/tourettes, injury description, discussion of noncon/dubcon, nsfw themes, conditioned whumpee trying to initiate sex with caretaker, dehumanizing language/discussion, discussion of past abuse, food mention, discussion of wearing a collar, derogatory language, strangling mention (let me know if I missed anything!)

It was all at once insanely overwhelming and yet incredibly simple for Elias to be away from August, to be on his own. He was allowed to just sit peacefully on his own, no one's hands were on him, there was no tight collar to make him feel suffocated. The flight attendants would occasionally sit with him and ask him how he was doing, if he needed anything, and he was thankful to be otherwise left alone. The lack of constant stress allowed him to lull himself off into a fitful, drunken sleep, where the dreams were horrendous but not stronger than his fatigue. At some point, one of the nice flight attendants keeping an eye on him draped her jacket over him, smiling at him when he woke up to look at her.

"You looked cold," she excused herself. "We'll be landing in about an hour and a half."

"Thank you so much." He grumbled back, tightening the jacket around him to get warmer, then he promptly fell back asleep.

The hospital visit was long and tedious, and by the end apparently also pointless, because they simply couldn't do anything for him. His injuries were plenty, and they had all been severe in the beginning, but by now they were all healed just enough for the doctors to slap some antibiotics and pain relievers on him and call it a day. The meds they gave him seemed diluted by the leftover drugs in his blood, so even that didn't matter.

He wasn't allowed to go straight home after that, like he'd been hoping, instead he was taken to the police station to talk about August. By then he wanted nothing more than to just be back with No Name, and the longer he wasn't the worse he felt.

"Is there anything we can get you while we wait?" People kept asking him, ever since he'd gotten on the plane. It was incredibly unnerving, didn't they know he was just an idiot pet, that he didn't get wants? He guessed maybe not having a collar on wasn't helping his case.

Right now the person asking him was a large police officer, waiting with him outside. Elias felt his stare fixated on him, probably on the tears stained on his face, or the tired, far off look in his eyes.

"Would you be able to get me a cigarette? Please?" The request came out slightly mangled and watery, he was surprised to hear himself asking for it. He was never allowed to ask for anything, he half expected to be slapped across the head for it. Instead, the officer reached out at a safe distance with one in hand. "Oh. Th...thank you so much."

As he lit up, the chill breeze ran through his hair, making him feel gradually more sober. He looked up at the palm trees swaying slightly, the realization that he was home really started to sink in. It was all gonna be ok because he was home. After talking about August and all of the atrocities he'd put him through with the police for a few hours, he felt like he had relived it all. And now it could be done, he just had to wait for No Name.

"Is that him there?" The officer piped up suddenly, making Elias flinch. He looked up to see him approaching, his shoulders high with tension.

Elias dropped his cigarette to the ground with a gasp, his hands flying to cover his eyes in pure shock. He was there! He came! Elias could've fallen over in ecstasy.

"Elias, my darling," he was saying as he got closer, his voice on the very edge of breaking, "Elias I'm here. I'm here."

One inch at a time, Elias dropped his fingers, peering up at him with tears in his eyes. How could he possibly have any more tears left? Now that he was looking at him, he was overwhelmed with relief, absolutely flooded with the promise of safety. No Name's hair was so much longer than Elias remembered, put up in messy dreads, and his face was glowing healthily. Was there...genuine, actual love in his eyes? Elias hadn't seen that in August's face for so long, his stare was often only predatory and arrogant, despite how often he threw around the word, he didn't ever look like he felt love for Elias. He couldn't fight the tears anymore, he dropped his hands to the side in complete surrender and choked back a few pathetic whines.

"Hey, hey, it's ok," he assured him, timidly stepping toward him, "you're alright."

"I c-cant...I'm so happy t-to see you." He sobbed, biting his lip to try not to get too loud. "I'm s-so relieved."

With a small, pleased hum, he grabbed Elias's arm gently, testing how much touch he would allow. "Come here, Eli."

The nickname sounded heavenly back in his mouth, and hearing the way his voice glazed over it with no remorse or second guess made Elias positively break, stumbling the step forward into his welcoming arms.

Cologne and lemons and weed. That's what he smelled like. That's what Tyson smelled like. "Oh god. Tyson. Fucking hell, Tyson."

"I've got you Elias," Tyson whispered, voice watery with his own tears, "I'm here, darling."

Elias couldn't contain himself after that, he was ticcing melodically in Tyson's arms, his name slipping out every few seconds, his hands tightening and loosening around his shirt. "You're here, Tyson. I'm so...oh Tyson..."

Slowly, Tyson led him to his car, without fully letting go of him. Only when he opened the door for him did he pull away, watching him duck in with red, swollen eyes.

"You look so different," Elias mumbled, picking at a loose thread on his borrowed pants, "I feel like it's been years."

Tyson sighed heavily, reaching over to take his hand. "Nearly 10 months."

Elias closed his eyes, a breathless whine squeezing past his lips. Ten months?! He couldn't believe that it had really been that long since they'd seen each other, and yet at the same time it felt more like years. It made him feel sick, thinking about it in that way. Ten whole months of torture, of wondering when August would snap again, terrified he would get killed if he said something deemed unpleasant. "That's...that's a really long time."

Tyson gave a somber nod, then glanced over and saw how sad it had also made Elias, and he squeezed his leg softly and forced the subject to change. "God, I've missed your voice so very badly. I'm so happy to hear you talking."

Elias couldn't take his eyes off of Tyson, and he found himself desperately holding his wrist with both hands to make sure he didn't pull away. "I forgot your name." He blurted. "I'm so sorry."

"My name?" Tyson chuckled, throwing him a questioning glance.

"When I was out there I...all I could remember was your voice and your face. I-I forgot your n-name and I feel like shit a-about it. I'm so - fucking shit - I'm so sorry."

Tyson's jaw flexed a few times, and Elias thought maybe he'd pissed him off. You're off with August for not even a year and you forget about me? You stupid slut, I can't believe I ever thought I could love you-

"Elias, you've been stuck in an absolute nightmare for the longest time. I cannot even begin to imagine..." He trailed off, shaking his head to himself. "Things are gonna be ok. You're here and you remember my name now. That's all that matters."

A shuddery breath shook Elias's frame as he tried to calm himself, and he slowly reached up to loop his fingers around his throat. When his fingers fell onto bare skin, a jolt of panic shocked through him. He didn't realize how used to the collar he'd gotten, but now that it was gone he felt stripped, naked in the worst way. He kept his hand there, cold fingers pressed to his own pulse, the entire ride back to the apartment.

It looked about the same as he remembered, which didn't mean much because every memory was sort of hazy and muddled through the drugs and injury caused brain damage. He stood in the center of the living room while Tyson set his things down in the kitchen.

"Can I get you anything Elias?" Tyson asked when he came back in. He had a glass of water in his hands, and Elias cringed hard as he took it from him.

"People keep asking me that," he mumbled, "I'm not...not allowed..."

Tyson frowned at him, tilting his head to the side. He gave Elias a second to answer on his own, but he'd already decided to stop talking. "Not allowed what, Eli?"

"Not allowed to want things. I wish people would stop...stop asking what I want. I can't want anything."

The face Tyson made at that was like he smelt something foul, his nose wrinkling as he thought about what he'd been told. He had guessed that Elias would be damaged when he got back, but it had been so long he couldn't even fathom what broken pieces he'd have to work with.

"Ok. Finish your water and we'll get you in the shower. How's that?" He kept his voice gentle in the suggestion, relieved when some of the tension dropped from Elias's shoulders with a nod.

"Thank you."

"Let me know if you're ready to talk about anything, yeah?" As he asked, he inched his way forward, looking him over carefully. He could see the faint outline of sharp bruises around his neck, a large scar barely healed on his bottom lip, and on top of it all large purple and blue blotches scattered his pale skin. "Elias...I'm so sorry I didn't do more to stop him."

Now it was Elias's turn to flinch at the distasteful words, shaking his head quickly. "It was my choice, please don't be-"

"No, my love," Tyson protested, softly caressing his arm, "no, I should have done more. You got hurt, I should have done more to help you. I am so incredibly sorry."

Elias was tearful at the words, leaning into his touch eagerly. "Tyson I... I missed you so bad. I felt so empty without you." His lungs tightened as Tyson got closer, his hands staying so gentle against his arms that it was jarring. Elias had to remind himself that he wasn't going to hurt him, this was Tyson, Tyson wouldn't do anything to harm him, but he couldn't help the uncomfortable anxious burning in his chest when he got so close.

"I love you, Eli." He whispered.

The look on his face alone was enough to send Elias reeling, the genuine, evident adoration made his head spin. The last time someone was telling him they loved him, the only emotion he saw on his face was some sort of sick obsession, a look that told him the "love" was only surface level. He began to openly cry, barely able to bite back his sobs.

"Y-you...you do?" He whined, suddenly not able to look at him head on. The emotions were so strong and heavy that he felt weighed down. Again, he wondered how his body was still producing tears. It was probably why Tyson had given him the water. "Really?"

"Yes, really." With that, Tyson kissed the bridge of his nose ever so gently, even when he flinched a little and closed his eyes. "Now let's get you cleaned up, huh?"

"Please."

Being nude wasn't nearly as intimidating as it had been before, being forced to put himself on display for prying eyes and watering mouths ready to grab and pet and squeeze made him shamefully accustomed to not wearing clothes. Even though Tyson could easily overpower him and do any of that to him, he only touched him when he was sure it would be alright, only looked at him when he spoke. He was a little uneasy because he couldn't tell what Tyson was thinking, if he was disgusted or put off and that's why he wasn't touching him. Or maybe he'd done something wrong and Tyson was punishing him. Or he just wasn't pretty enough. He could make himself pretty, he was getting good at that, at carrying himself the way people liked him: as an object.

He did this as he was helped out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist. He was relieved when he felt Tyson's stare fixated on him, and he forced himself to look up at him through half-hooded lids. "Thank you, Ty," he murmured, in that way that August always loved, the way that made him go soft for a split second and then hold him closely and gently. When Tyson didn't do that, he took a shaky breath and closed the space between them, grabbing his bicep to get closer.

"Do you feel better?" He grumbled. Elias's eyes fluttered closed when Tyson reached out to run his thumb along his cheek.

"I do. Thank you so much." When he was met with silence, he turned his head slightly, pressing his lips against Tyson's wrist. His whole demeanor was screaming "touch me, please touch me" but Tyson didn't move, keeping his hand against his jaw, watching, waiting. Elias could scream.  He was too used up, that's what it was. August would hardly touch him anymore either, for the same reason: because he was a used up toy, no fun anymore. And Tyson felt the same way. It killed him to know that he wouldn't ever experience the bliss of Tyson's adoring hands on him, his warm mouth murmuring sweet nothings against his skin, his name falling from his lips, ever again.

"What are you thinking about in that pretty little head of yours?" Tyson asked him, shifting a little to stroke his hair, humming when Elias pressed into his touch desperately.

"I'm so...I'm afraid that I'm useless now." He admitted. "I know that you won't use me and...and if I'm not being used I...i just want to be important. Useful."

Tyson let out a soft, seemingly disappointed sigh, one that made Elias cringe. "Is that what it was like with August?"

He nodded slowly, not even making an effort to look up at him, too afraid he would see anger or betrayal or even nothing. That's what he was really afraid of, seeing no emotion there, the same blank stare August often gave him, toward the end. "I was just a toy, and August used me for a little while but then other people...they just started taking me too, because I was made t-to be used. But I guess I messed up cause August started hiding me and no one was allowed to touch me or speak to me and I don't want that to happen again, Ty, I want to be useful and good-"

"Eli, take a breath angel," he cooed, stepping closer to him, "I'm not them. You're a human being, and I care about you a great deal, I'm not going to use you."

Don't cry, Elias thought to himself, save your tears for when you really need them. Don't fucking cry. You look so ugly when you cry. He noticed that the voice saying it wasn't his own, rather August's low grumble. He wondered if it would always be there, saying awful things in the back of his mind. Tyson pulled his hand away, leaving Elias to sink into a frigid, freezing loneliness, the feeling of being in the basement was now inside of his chest. He brought his own fingers to his throat, wrapping his hands around his slender, bruised neck to ground himself. He hated himself for admitting it, but he knew deep down he'd look so much nicer with the collar, and maybe Tyson would use him then. Or he'd at least look at him the way he was meant to be looked at, with an intrigue and a thirst that barely overshadowed the guilt of it all. He knew the look well, he saw it every time he got up the courage to look up at the people using him. The dark eyes, the shameful pink tint to cheeks. Tyson would look at him like that, if only he was wearing his collar.

"Don't do this to me," he mumbled, voice breaking just a little, "you don't know how bad I n-need...i just need you-" he cut himself off with a swallow, shaking his head. He wasn't allowed needs or wants, what was he saying? Tyson could use him or ignore him however he saw fit, why did he think he had any say in the matter? "I'm sorry."

"Hey, don't be sorry, love. Talk to me, tell me what you need."

"Nothing," he rushed, smiling through his tears, "I don't need anything. I'm perfect."

Tyson looked on the verge of arguing, ready to pry until he got something out of him, something worthy of a reaction. He knew, though, that Elias had shut himself up again, nervous to even be standing under his gaze. So he stepped away, nodding at him slowly. "Let's get you dressed, then."

Elias was thankful for the luxury of Tyson dressing him, after the whole day spent being treated far too well, too much like a person for his comfort. It was easy to slip back into the practiced doe-eyed, mindless little toy mindset as Tyson pulled his arms through his shirt, holding him steady as he slipped pants on. When Tyson stepped back to look at him, he had a fond grin on his face.

"You're so cute," he cooed, ruffling his hair playfully as he stepped away, "I missed you so much."

Elias blushed, bowing his head as a thank you. He felt cold under his stare, cooled down too quickly from the shower. He couldn't help the tremor that shook him slightly, and the second Tyson noticed, he reached out to grab his shoulders gently, pulling him against his chest. The warmth of being close to him made him weak at the knees, and Tyson tightened his grip as he keened against him. "Oh, Tyson," he whispered, "ah, you're so warm."

"Mm. I could hold you forever. You fit so perfectly in my arms." He gave him a light squeeze, listening to his breathing hitch gently.

"Tyson," he whined, trembling fingers twisting into his shirt, "ple-please touch me. I need you to touch me."

"You need it?" He repeated.

"Y-yes, Ty. I need it so bad it aches. Please." His voice was desperate, slightly fear tinted by hearing his own request. I can't have needs, he reminded himself, but this, oh this is the blood in my veins. This is the oxygen in my lungs. I will die if I can't have this. "Oh god, Tyson, please."

At that, Tyson's lips fell against his throat, causing him to tilt his head back with a small gasp. His skin was hot from Tyson's breath and it was constricting in the same comfortable way his collar was. "I love you, Elias."

Even though it was just a hushed whisper against his skin, Elias swooned, body light and airy at the words, Tyson's hands the only thing keeping him tethered to earth. "Ah...thank you.."

Tyson pulled off to look at him, a small grin on his face as he looked him over. The second he was off of him, Elias replaced Tyson's mouth on his neck with his fingers, dropping his head back down, face flushed and shoulders high. It was too much, entirely too much to have Tyson so close to him, touching him that way, and simultaneously it wasn't nearly enough.

"Anything else?" Tyson teased, leaning forwards as if to try and entice him. Elias was glued to the floor, refusing to look up at him after a breathless whine left his throat. "What is it, baby boy?"

He watched Elias melt at the words, legs shaking slightly as he stepped forward, quickly dropping to his knees in front of Tyson. He kept his arms raised in front of him in submission until Tyson took his wrists in his hands. He looked utterly broken as he peered up at him, the shower didn't help with the cuts and bruises as much as Tyson had been hoping. The bruises under his eyes seemed near permanent, and Tyson sighed heavily.

"Let me...let me make you feel good," Elias whispered, fingers reaching for the button of his jeans. Tyson's grip on his wrists was tight though, and Elias instinctively fell pliable in his grip, dropping his stretching fingers, when he realized Tyson wasn't going to let him move any more. "Wanna make myself useful."

Tyson dropped to his knees as well, keeping his grip secure on Elias as he did, trying to be at eye level. It was difficult because he was so much smaller than Tyson and he wouldn't look up at him anyways, but Tyson returned one of his hands to his own lap and coaxed him to look up with a finger just under his chin. "My love," he soothed him, "you don't even know what you're asking for. You've only been home an hour."

"But I-I don't...Ty..." His bottom lip trembled as he spoke, and now that his arm was free he once again rubbed nervously at his throat. Tyson had just started picking up on it, and all it made him think of was having to go pick up Elias from the hospital the first time, being told he'd been strangled. "P...please, Tyson. Hu-hurts."

"Look at you, Eli. You're shaking. Why don't we get you something to eat?"

"No!" He whined, looking rather afraid at his own outburst. "Tyson, I'm begging you-"

He froze when Tyson's hand replaced his own, fingers loose around his neck. "What is this, why do you keep doing that?"

Elias flinched a little at the harsh tone he used, then he relaxed into his hand. "I don't have my...uh...a collar. I'm not used to it yet, I guess."

"A collar?! Ugh, christ. Why would he..." He trailed off as he saw the sad, dejected wince pass over Elias's face. "Hey, no, it's not you, love. You did nothing wrong."

Elias nodded slowly, then straightened out his posture a little, taking a deep breath to reassure himself. "I'm sorry. I won't whine anymore."

Tyson was shocked by the quick change in demeanor, how, when Tyson's tone changed with him, Elias seemed to correct himself to not look so bothered, so ill. The way he carried himself was more thought out, like he was aware of every muscle in his body, how to present himself in a pleasant way. He stood up with a huff. "Ok, beautiful. Come on, I'll make you some food."

Elias let Tyson pull him up to his feet, then followed him to the kitchen. He was set down in a chair to watch and wait (and look pretty, don't forget to look pretty, Tyson keeps looking over at him and smiling softly but only when he remembers to be pretty). He ignored the burning need in his chest to be underneath the knife Tyson was using to cut up fresh fruit, or to be the water running over his hands as he washed the juice off. He was jealous that he couldn't be closer to him than he was, so jealous it hurt him. But he stayed in his place at the table, because it's where Tyson wanted him to be. And that's all that mattered.

[katsukikitten]

Back at it again since tumblr didnt want me in the tags the first time

Bakugou was irritable today. Not that his irritability was anything new but every little thing set his skill crawling. His forearms littered with threatening pops as he bared his teeth to anyone brave enough to look his way. 

He figured the only way to get his agitation out was to hit something, anything.

 So he headed to one of the two closest gyms from his small apartment to blow off some much needed steam. The local 24 hour gym that was open to the public was a no go, not just because it was always over crowded but also because he got banned after cussing out some damn extras who were snapping pictures of him instead of working out like one should. Leaving his only other option to be the agency's "gym". 

When he first set foot into the sorry excuse of a gym he demanded a better upgrade for it, if they expected to keep him and Kirishima in top shape. Otherwise he would begin to look elsewhere considering other agencies were dying to have the newest upcoming pro hero in their rankings. The agency obliged, delivering his expectations and more in less than a week. Guess being in the top five really did have its perks. 

The ash blonde pulls his shiny new coupe into the parking garage and finds a spot closest to the entrance. He grabs for his water bottle from the passenger seat before exiting the car, locking his black beauty as he made his way inside.  He swipes his fob over the keypad before it beeps while flashing green, allowing him entrance to the back door of the basement. Walking past the long corridor of support labs that had long since closed to get to the gym. The rooms illuminated by the low light of locked computers, secrets and redesigns stowed away behind bullet proof glass. 

Nearing the end of the dimly lit hall he spies harsh light flooding onto the linoleum floor, indicating that someone seemed to be collecting some major overtime. From his experiences at UA he figured each room would be filled to the brim with over eager support, eccentrically yelling at one another over specs and improvements, sharing their love of science at a volume much too high for Bakugou's taste. Shortly after his hero debut he discovered just how wrong he was about the support labs. He had needed a 2am, mid shift, costume adjustment so he came here, expecting the place to be brimming with brilliant minds only to find one person still working. 

So it should be no surprise that at 10:30 at night there was one room that was clearly occupied. Still a rare curiosity takes over the hot head as he peeks into the room while passing, wondering if he will catch a glimpse of you again. 

He found you odd, as you seemed to be nocturnal or better yet maybe you didn't sleep at all. No need for it as your hunger for knowledge seemed to outweigh any basic human need.

Bakugou had only seen you a handful of times, here and there in passing towards the gym at all hours of the day and night. Maybe it was just coincidence that he would find you hunched over something with this gleam in your eye as you destroyed and rebuilt the item over and over again.  

He shakes his head, he doesn't get it. Doesn't get why you dedicate so much time when no one else in your department seemed to give as much of a damn as you did. Or maybe he did get it, maybe it was similar to how he pushes himself so he can be number one, except yours was just for intellectual stimulation. 

After an hour and a half of throwing weights and punches around and becoming heavily drenched in sweat, Bakugou finally calls it a night. Gulping water from his water bottle before wiping at the sheen that collected on his forehead. He sighs out, before catching himself in the mirror. Smirking as he flexes, letting go a few pops. Admiring not only his improved physique but also his new hair style. Sides faded but top long, ash strands looking borderline messy, as if someone had just caught him and a lover kissing heavily in a dark hall during a house party, their fingers desperately pulling at his hair. 

He reaches for the ceiling in a grunting stretch as a yawn forces its way out. He leaves the gym, switching off the lights before making his way back to the parking garage. A furrow of his brow as he notices the light to your lab is still on, maybe you had forgotten to kill the light when you left or maybe you were still tinkering away.  Crimson eyes peer into the room, spying you as you begin to stretch. Your eyes latch onto his as he watches your expression go from concentrated to elated. You jump from your seat, causing Bakugou's brow to furrow more before you're flinging open the door and yanking at his wrist.

"Wow what are the odds?! Well I guess they would be around 4.64% considering you don't normally frequent this gym but I should also factor in your recent ban raising it up to.." 

"Oi, shitty woman, quit the nerd talk!" He yanks his wrist from your small, delicate hands. Totally unsure of what your name is and even if he did know it, he would sooner address you with an insult than your family name. 

"Ah I forget, not everyone loves numbers. But still I am quite lucky tonight." You beam up at him, hair threatening to fall loose from its haphazardly shaped bun, "You're just the man I needed to see, Bakugou." 

He isn't sure why but a faint blush creeps to his cheeks, was it your bright smile that threw him so off guard or was it the way your lips formed around his name?

He sucks his teeth, looking away from you with crossed arms. 

"Well I'm sweaty as fuck, so you really don't need me." He huffs but before he can turn on his heel you're clamping cool black metal to his forearms. You guide him to the door to the testing area of your lab, turning his arms this way and that to make sure your measurements are perfect as you ramble on. 

"No! No! That is the perfect condition for this experiment. I've been working on your winter costume since there are deficiencies with your current one. Since you, and I'm sure you already know, sweat less in the winter there needs to be some sort of counter balance to offset the possibility of little to no stored sweat. Preventive measures could be made sure and you collect sweat from previous activities but 'stale' sweat does not ignite as quickly or as violently as fresh sweat. One could argue that using heavier and denser materials could help aid in more sweat production but this risks overheating should a mission need you inside or a rapid change in environment all together outweight any benefit. So not only are these bracers less obnoxious than your gauntlets, no offense, but they collect 56 to even 62% more of expandable sweat compared to the normal 54% all while reducing the amount needed for ignition. Sure my colleagues could say that's a marginal improvement at best but…" Heat radiates off of him in waves, pulling your eye upwards. You're met with a red hot gaze that seems to rake over your skin. An odd chill runs down your spine as you realize your mistake. 

Nerd talk.  And rambling nerd talk at that. 

All the while Bakugou wonders why your hands are so damn cold and yet they feel good, soothing to his warmed skin. Refreshing even as it reminds him of a passing breeze in the summer or hiding in the shade from the sun.

A bit of heat rushes into your cheeks as you suddenly realize how close you are to THE Ground Zero. Someone who you knew so intimately through paper and yet knew nothing about all at the same time. You knew his measurements, the circumference of his head, his biceps, the number of inches around his thighs. Hell, you had them memorized since the big boss upstairs assigned you his costume and accessories well over a year ago. And yet you couldn't even fathom to name his favorite color or favorite food for that matter.

You swallow thickly, clearing your throat as you move on, dropping his deadly hands as you do.

"Ah, anyway, these bracers are designed to help with not only better sweat collection in both summer and winter but to aid in some stealth missions as they make no sound compared to your heavy gauntlets." You smile at him once more causing his stomach to flip before those small icy hands press harshly into his toned hot back, pushing him into the testing chamber behind diamond glass. 

"I just need you to test them. I need to make sure they can withstand your heat and power." With that you shut him away, quickly trotting to the mic on the other side. Pressing the button to speak as he turns his arms over looking at the smooth black material 

"Now, remember, it takes less sweat. So don't go all out!" At first you worry it falls on deaf ears before he gives a nod your way. Suddenly you are in awe of the power house that stands before you as his expression changes from utter agitation to complete determined focus, all with something as simple as a deep breath out. He focuses on producing enough sweat to ignite, calling on his quirk as if it were an extension of himself. Pooling it onto his skin, permeating the air with the slight smell of burnt sugar before he let's go a small pop. 

But the medium sized explosion he had expected was anything but what was produced.  Suddenly the brace on his arm explodes from the pressure as does the diamond glass in the room. Fear grips Bakugou as shards of glass go flying towards you before you flick your wrist harshly.  

The deadly shards bypass you, glistening shrapnel sinks deeply into the tile floor around you like a piece of jagged art.

And yet you seem unphased, delighted even as a manic smile paints your lips before it sours. Eyes noticing that the bracer barely stood up to the challenge. 

"Fuck…the density still cannot withstand the joules output or force that Bakugou is capable of…" A string of murmurs that remind him all too much of Deku as your fingers curl in the air, calling forth the failed experiment with unseen forces. The blonde long forgotten as you hunch over the workbench, going back to square one. 

Crimson eyes dissect your form and actions as you pull various books and tools towards you with the influence of your quirk, hovering around the work space. 

Suddenly you feel heat radiating behind you when normally you're enveloped in the cool air of the air conditioning, kept extra low in the labs to prevent overheating of parts. You look over your shoulder, suddenly remembering the Pro hero who's beginning to wonder why you're in support with a quirk like that. 

"I know, I know. The last bus and train left hours ago. I'll catch them in the morning." You guess at why he's lingering as you wave him off with your hand. He's caught off guard by your statement before he notices the clock, going to open his mouth to scold before snapping it shut. 

Why should he care if you work through the night? What was he gonna do? Offer you a ride when he didn't even know your name? 

He sucks his teeth biting out as he leaves. 

"Just call me when you're ready to test these again." 

Weeks pass and it's as you never left the lab. Glued to the same spot as he tests the product every other week only for you to grow more and more frustrated with each failure punctuated by shattered bracers. 

And every time he enters the lab room he learns something new about you. He can tell when or if you've left the lab for longer than a few minutes by how tidy the space is or lack thereof. A chaotic circle encompasses you filled with random items that you hope will ignite a spark of inspiration. Anything from books to thin sheets of metal and even to soft fabrics that haphazardly lay atop metal tools. Anything one could possibly imagine was probably there, sitting along-side several empty cups that once held iced coffee. He notices the bags beneath your eyes as they darken with each passing week and he's beginning to wonder if you've ever left as he leaves anywhere between 12 to 3am most nights. 

Tonight is no different as he makes his way to the gym at midnight while you're hunched over his bracers. A part of him wants to tell you to stop being an idiot, to rip you from your little stool and drag you to your bed or wherever the fuck you'll sleep as the other part points out 'why do you fucking care?' So he watches silently, eyes fixated on you until he runs out of glass to look through before he locks himself away in the gym. 

Bakugou puts in his black wireless earbuds before cranking his music up, tossing his phone onto a nearby workbench. He stretches this way and that, reaching for the sky as he looks at his form in the mirror, his hard earned V and bottom two abs wink at his reflection beneath his signature black tank top and his black hoodie. 

His fist connects easily with the heavy black bag suspended by a large chain. The sandbag swings back and forth with a creak with each heavy handed blow. Bakugou loses time with each kick and hit thrown at the bag, each passing song fueling his desire to melt his frustration until his hair is plastered to his forehead. He lets out a steadying breath as his heart roars in his chest,he rears his fist back for a final blow backed by a bit of his quirk. It connects with the well worn leather with such force a weak link in the chain snaps as the fabric obliterates, the 200lb bag flies into the mirror behind it. Shards of reflective glass glitter as they rain onto the matted floor. 

"Fuck." He huffs, stretching and turning to the opposite mirror. Sending a quick snap of his tongue out with the caption "Oops" as the background showcases the decimated gym to Kirishima. He picks up his bag, removing his ear buds to be met with the cool air of the hallway. 

Your light is still on causing him to grind his teeth as his phone reads 2:45am. He's angry enough he chooses to avoid looking into your enclosure as he walks past, fearful his sharp tongue will give him away. He misses you perk up, frantically waving for him to come in before you're at the door, flinging it open to yell out much too loudly in the empty halls. 

"Bakugou!" Your voice is hoarse and cracks from disuse before you clear your throat, lightly jogging to catch up to his large stride, "I've done it!" 

He ignores you, lips pursed in a tight line before your cold hand wraps tightly around his wrist. Pulling him back to the lab with eager steps. He rips away his wrist with a growl and follows you reluctantly, you seem unphased by his harsh actions. 

"I've finally perfected it. I'm sure this time. I was looking at it all wrong. Larger surface area does not always equate to better absorption. Not to mention the pressure for the explosions beneath the bracer is what was causing the failure in the first place. A marginal error that I should have caught earlier. This new design covers less than 15% of your skin but increases…." You ramble but it all falls on deaf ears. 

Bakugou sees that your hair is so loose in its ponytail it might as well be down. The bags beneath your eyes weigh heavy on your pretty features, your skin showing signs of dehydration as it seems to have lost some of its elasticity. Your lab coat is wrinkled and your nametag, that you're wearing for once, is pinned on upside down. He commits your name to memory although he finds it odd that it must be your first name instead of your family name, then again you do hail from overseas. As the two of you walk into your lab he realizes instantly that it has become your main living space. Shards of diamond glass still litter your floor, there is no rhyme or reason to the placement of objects.  Tools, and trash commingle in dangerous piles and stacks around the room. Something knits itself as it floats in the air, wavering a bit when you pause your rambling to yawn.

"Oi nerd!" Bakugou's voice is sharp, authoritative as he grips onto your wrist. Eyes still washing over the room before they land on you. Somehow you're too daft or too tired to pick up on his concern. 

"Yea yea nerd talk. I fucking get it." A half snap from your exhaustion, "Just…" 

You lose his grip before grabbing onto his arm, finding a mesh woven bracer somehow on that disastrous desk. It seems to be made of a soft, elastic fabric as you slip it over his thick forearm after shoving away his sweatshirt sleeve.

"Perfect, your sweat output was pretty close to max earlier. I could smell caramel from the gym. This is going to be so fucking great!" You giggle in delight as the other mesh bracer finishes itself, dropping before you frantically reach for it. He notices your faulty step, your under the breath curse and the long moment your eyes flutter. He almost bites his tongue clean off. 

Again your cool hands find his burning skin as you try to keep your tired brain focused on the task at hand and not how his forearms have grown nearly a half inch since your first encounter. It's difficult not to fall victim to his intoxicating smell as you force yourself to not sway on your feet and collapse into a lovely muscular man. His heat seems to have some sort of affect on you, causing an odd affinity between you both.

"Okay all done! Please give a medium sized blast!" You encourage, shoving him into the testing chamber as he glares down at you. He isn't sure why your chaotic state is bothering him but it does. He rolls his eyes as you slam the door shut. He brings clarity to his mind, focusing on his quirk and how the sweat feels against his skin. How it yearns to be something more, to explode into a whispering flame that may catch something ablaze. 

He gives in, just a little, giving it what it wants, igniting it with a simple thought. An explosion he would have considered large if he were still at UA but since all he's done is grow these past five years, earning him the number 3 rank, it comes to no surprise when the glass shatters yet again. 

Except this time you're too entranced with the smoke clearing, of seeing if your baby you've slaved over has made it through to comprehend the sharp threat. You notice the flying glass a moment too late, flicking your wrist to change the trajectory from what was supposed to be your entire body but your arms are grazed by the razor sharp shards. You grit your teeth, cursing to yourself calling forth a first aid kit. 

But nothing shows up in your peripheral except for a looming presence. One you give your back to in order to find the first aid kit with your gaze, when was the last time you ever had to look at something to summon it? 

Damn it, how could you be experiencing quirk failure from exhaustion right now? Sure it took a lot of brain power for your quirk but it takes weeks of no sleep for a failure plus you had been eating...your eyes glance around the room. You hadn't been eating, or so it says from the lack of any sort of plate or take out aside from your iced coffees with the added protein and carbohydrate shots your body needed to process your quirk with ease. 

Fuck, guess it really was quirk failure. You bite your lip, unable to find that damned kit hoping the hot head wouldn't catch on to your short coming. 

Vermillion eyes watch crimson spots bloom across the white fabric of your coat. He grinds his teeth, searching for the first aid kit only to find it knocked beneath a shelf. He rights himself, stalking your way with a grimace just to stop in his tracks. He watches you slip your oversize jacket off of strong shoulders, toned arms adorned with several thin slices that weep red, but what has really caught his attention was that body con dress. 

Sticking to you like a second skin, but looking somehow comfortable at the same time, he wonders for a moment if you've made it yourself. It's similar to the fabric used to make his shirts, breathable, soft, always smelling a bit sweet like you when they are fresh from the lab. His hand twitches as he can imagine how supple your curves would feel in the delicate yet sturdy material, palm already too familiar with the soft sensation. Red catches his eye once again pulling him from the trance that is your body. He sneers at the cuts as he grabs onto your cold shoulder, shoving you into your chair so he can work on you. You look up a bit shocked with a pinch of anger mixed in and a dash of hurt pride. He takes no notice as he wraps bandages tight around your arms, your eyes locked onto the bracers. The smile on your face cannot be helped as you stare proudly at your work, it was able to withstand so much power and remain not only in tact but unsinged. You grab onto his wrist turning it this way and that, a pen and pad float near by as you take notes. Bakugou cannot hide his astonishment as he watches the invisible hand borrow your neat yet rushed script as it is unable to keep up with your thoughts. You pull the bracers from his arms, fabric begins to tear itself thread by thread before spooling itself, wrapping around wood as if it were a snake. He pulls away, eyes hard as he talks himself out of whatever the stupid "heroic" side of him is saying. He takes a step back and with it taking his warmth. You shiver but you are too busy to notice, teeth chattering ever so slightly but you're too busy studying. He growls to himself. 

Suddenly you're enveloped in a dizzying sweet smell and warmth, it is then you realize that Bakugou had shoved his hoodie over your head. Slinking your arms into the holes to move the hood of the sweatshirt back, quickly realizing the material is not damp as you had once thought. It's warm from his quirks use, material dry as a bone, reminding you of pulling your favorite blanket fresh from the dryer just to wrap yourself in it as rain taps on the window of your apartment. 

Subconsciously you snuggle into it, opening your mouth to state how much work you have to do but instead you have to stifle a yawn. 

Had the cold of the lab always kept you awake, were you starting to actually feel the weight of your work only because you were warm? 

"I think it's time for bed, nerd." 

He places his hot palm on the back of your neck in a power move as he speaks. He enrages you and entices you all at once as your face snaps up to meet his gaze, your own eyes burning holes into him. He smirks down at you, deciding in this moment that he really likes you.  

"I'm taking you home. Get your shit." He squeezes your nape as a warning. He isn't taking no for an answer.

"I'll take the bus and train in the morning, three hours is child's play." Hitting his hand away, trying to return to your work. He scoffs in response. 

"You sure are oblivious for someone so smart. Tomorrow is Saturday." He crosses his exposed arms, unable to hide his smug smirk as realization washes over your stunning features, "That means the bus won't be in the business district til 10am." 

"I think I'll be okay." You say after a moment of silence, "I've waited longer. Or I could walk..." 

"Will you?" He retorts, "Your office says otherwise." 

You follow his gaze, your entire office in disarray, as if a bomb went off. 

You guess in a sense one had gone off. Biting your lip as you mull it over, eyes finding Bakugou's file shuffled across your desk, spying your own hand written cliff notes. 

Stubborn your script reads, you sigh admitting defeat as you wave your hand over the file. It tidies itself, papers folding neatly back into the Manila folder before you snap your fingers. 

Bakugou watches items soar around the room, books fighting and bickering over their order, pens and pencils long forgotten in corners of the room race back to their place on your desk. Papers flutter and fall into the trash or shredder in defeat as plastic cups sink into the plastic bin in the corner. The diamond glass follows suit as your own hands grab onto the bracers, giving them a gentle squeeze before you access an invisible drawer on your desk, hiding away your project before pushing it back. Wood flush against wood as if there were no drawer at all. 

A question burns on the tip of Bakugou's tongue, it dies in his throat for now as a new one is born. 

"That Kirishima's faceplate?" The question comes out in the form of a bite, for some reason the thought of his more likeable friend coming in here as often as Bakugou has set his blood boiling. 

"Ah yes, I just got this assignment from the big boss. Kirishima's new unbreakable breaks his faceplate everytime. Otto had it before me, which was odd. He is more of a reverse engineer. Taking an unknown material and figuring out how it works." Your eyes linger over the empty office across the way, "But he's been out and Kirishima can apparently no longer be on the back burner. Especially now that I've finished with the company's top hero." 

His heart melts just a bit as he watches a smidge of pride form in your dazzling eyes. He scoffs to change the topic.

"Come on, shitty woman." He guides you to the parking garage. 

Once there he acts out of character. At least what you would believe to be out of character as he holds open the door to his car for you, waiting for you to step in. 

"What?! I ain't fucking kidnapping you but I ain't letting you weasel out of this shit either." He growls, waiting impatiently by the door. You step in as he gently shuts the door behind you. He steps in himself, the engine purrs to life as you give him your address. 

"That far out? And you were gonna fucking walk?" He laughs, "Hell no, never again. You'll call me before you do that next time." 

"I don't have your number asshole." You grumble to yourself but he grabs your unlocked phone from your hands, plugging in his number and calling it. 

"There now you do." He locks it and puts it in his cup holder, demanding your attention. No longer can he keep that burning question to himself, "Why are you on support?" 

It puzzles you for a second before you realize he means it as a compliment to your quirk and not an insult to your intellect. 

"Oh that's easy. Being a hero wouldn't benefit me, it's too restrictive. I'm more of a…." You ponder on your words, vigilante was wrong, you wouldn't take justice into your own hands for the sake of others and villain was too strong, "Chaotic neutral. My moral compass is pretty grey and being in this lab benefits my need for knowledge." 

Bakugou glances your way, respectful of your honesty while your eyes become heavy watching the street lights blur, the hum of the engine pulling you deeper into relaxation.  There was something about a car ride that took you back to your childhood days in America.  The outskirts of the city would quickly wind into back roads lined with corn stalks that scrapped the sky. 

The street lights slowly became fewer and farther in between as the black coupe took you further from the heart of the city, soon more stars began to dot the sky.  You see just the tip of his zodiac constellation, it stirs a question within you. 

"So why do you want to be a hero?" You keep your eyes focused on the backdrop that lies beyond the tinted glass, missing Bakugou's knuckles turn stark white. 

He doesn't speak and that's answer enough for you.  

It took him an hour to get to your side of town, an hour. One you had said you would walk, one you mentioned you had walked before. He pulls up the sidewalk by your building, turning to you. 

"We're here…" His announcement turns into a sigh as he sees your slumped form. Head limp but thankfully not leaning on the glass as you're snuggled into his hoodie. You're murmuring how you need to update your measurements in your sleep causing Bakugou to roll his eyes. He pulls away to parallel park. He debates, should he wake you? 

No, who's to say you wouldn't attempt tor eturn to your work? He sighs, pocketing your phone and pulling the lanyard out of your purse that has, what he assumes,your house key on it. 

Katsuki's blood runs ice cold in his veins as realization sucker punches him square in the chest. He had NO fucking idea which apartment was yours. He turns your key over and over but why would that have the number on it? 

"Fuck." He would have to pray your mailbox was both clearly labeled and inside. He shoulders your purse before scooping you into his arms, sure to cradle you like the princess you are. 

He steps through the automatic doors, relief washes over him as a wall of mail boxes greet him. Better yet, they were neatly labeled with names AND apartment numbers.

But it is not long lived as his red eyes rake over the names, the family names, last names. He only knew your first and of course, of fucking course the Gods would laugh at him as panic rises in his throat. You had to have the most common first initial didn't you?  He had spotted it six times already but none of the last names seemed out of the ordinary, if anything they were all ordinary, run of the mill Japanese last names. Nothing foreign about them. 

"Fuck." He murmurs, plan B wouldn't work either, he can't just try out every fucking apartment with your first initial, how weird would that be, some guy shoving keys in random doors with a passed out woman in his arms. 

"Fuck." He cusses again. Was he going to have to take you to his apartment? Fuck, fuck fuck! He couldn't do that, the press slunk around his apartment like vultures, even at this hour.

"Oh you must be the guy that's been keeping her up so late at night." A voice sounds behind him, he turns towards the sound. A smaller young man smiles at him as if he and Bakugou share an inside joke. 

"Quite nice of you to bring her home, and get her mail." He laughs softly reaching for something in the desk, he approaches slowly, "But she must have forgotten to tell you she lost her key a couple of weeks ago. She always asks me to get the mail instead of paying the lost key fee. Don't blame her though." 

The desk clerk, Wantanabe, rambles on as Bakugou's sharp eyes watch closely. Silently thanking the Gods' for their blessing as he watches Watanabe slide the spare key into your mail slot. He commits your last name to memory, but more importantly 5C burns into his retinas. 

"...she hasn't been home in four weeks,  so she has a lot of mail." That snaps Bakugou back to the present, a small stack of mail is presented to him. He stares down at your form unable to keep the scowl off of his face. The dark circles beneath your eyes seem to become darker by the second. 

"Thanks." He growls through gritted teeth, snatching the mail as best he can without disturbing you. He looks for an elevator and when he sees he will have to climb five flights of stairs he wonders if this is the reason you don't come home often. 

Soon enough 5C is staring Bakugou in the face. He is hesitant, even if he does bring you home safely he wonders if you would misread his actions. As the saying goes, no good deed goes unpunished. Still his hands move quickly, sliding the key into the door and unlocking your mysteries. The apartment is sizable for the area, clean at least what he can see from the light of the hall flooding in. He flips on a switch with his elbow, he expected harsh light but instead ambient string lights that line the ceiling illuminate the space in a warm light. A three chair island with a marble water fall looks out into the living room, a large sectional couch swallows the space, a TV atop a nice entertainment table while books litter the coffee table and one part of the couch. The apartment feels as if it had been warmed by the sun through the drawn curtains but not overly hot, it feels cozy really.  As if Bakugou could imagine himself spread out on the grey sofa while you're curled against him, half dozing half reading your book. 

The thought jarrs him, he feels too close to you now, feverish almost as he rips your key from the door, shutting it softly before placing the lanyard onto the kitchen island. He spies a hall and passes a full bath, then a freshly vacant guest room to see a final door closed that he assumes is the master. He flips the switch and again light snakes around the ceiling washing the room in this comfort. He can understand the soft yellow lights considering you spend forty plus hours beneath harsh, bleaching white lights. He pulls back the comforter as best he can and lies you down gently. He removes your red bottom heels and praises the Kamisama when he sees you do not have on tights not that he would remove them anyway. You snuggle deeper into his hoodie, smiling as you do, dreaming of whatever little scientist's dream about. Katsuki imagines it's all math, measurements, molecular structures, nerd shit. You begin to murmur in your sleep.

"...gotta update his chart…" 

"Fucking nerd." Bakugou smiles to himself, you look peaceful even as your mind races with reminders. Another snuggle deeper into his hoodie, he goes to reach out to push hair from your face and stops himself. 

"What the fuck am I doing?" He growls aloud, he doesn't know you. Barely figured out your last name and that was by both chance and stupidity on the desk clerk's. He heads for your bedroom door, stopping with his hand gripping the handle. He peers over his shoulder before killing the switch, flooding your room with darkness. 

He shuts the door and with it the odd ache that's growing in his chest. 

[softcannoli]

you are the person who got me to watch the untamed and now I am BEGGING you to tell me what guardian is and where I can watch it.. is there time travel because sometimes I see two gifsets that do not seem like they're from the same show

ooohhhhhhhhohohohohohohohoohohhooo ohhhhhhh boy where do i even start

so uhhhhh Guardian is an on-fire trashcan of a show and also the only thing I've been able to think about for like a month. It's based on the novel of the same name by Priest, which I have not yet read but have heard is very good.

I say "based on" bc I have been given to understand that it is a VERY loose adaptation, bc the novel is pretty much entirely about That Gay Shit™, the undead, reincarnation, and literal gods, all of which IIRC are big no-nos under censorship laws. So the show had to get a little creative, and so now it's about aliens? and time travel? sort of? It's weird, but that's okay, because the show is far more interested in the homoerotic subtext, of which there is OODLES.

So basically our two main characters are:

Zhao Yunlan, who is a regular human dude who is in charge of Special Investigations Department, or SID, which is essentially the department of Supernatural Monster Cops, who are responsible for making sure superpowered underground alien people don't come up to the surface and run roughshod over regular humans, and

Shen Wei, a mild-mannered university professor who is Actually Ten Thousand Years Old, and is also secretly a superpowered underground alien person. He knew a dude 10,000 years ago who looks exactly like Zhao Yunlan for unknown (timey-wimey) reasons, and was very obviously in love with him, so when he meets Zhao Yunlan he is IMMEDIATELY lost in the yearning.

There's also a bunch of other people who work under Zhao Yunlan in the SID, and they are all absolutely delightful and have a whole found-family sort of dynamic going on.

Is this a good show? I think if I'm being totally honest I would have to say no? But is terrible in a bunch of truly delightful ways. The CGI is literally shit-tier. Some of the props could not more obviously be made out of craft foam and paper-mache. The quality of the dubbing work is really uneven, and by the last 15 episodes or so they seem to completely give up and some of the lines are dubbed over by someone who is CLEARLY not the same voice are the person speaking. A lot of the writing choices make NO sense, and the plot starts to go completely off the rails somewhere just past the halfway point. (there's also some stuff that is bad in like, a bad way, but I'll talk about that a bit at the end of the post)

The thing about this show is that it's gay. Like GAY gay. Like The Untamed was pretty gay, but I could conceivably see someone cover their ears and shut their eyes to all the gay subtext in that show and convince themselves there's a heterosexual explanation for everything. Not so with Guardian. Like, I really, legitimately cannot fathom even the most willfully ignorant person not picking up on the vibes between Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei. I simply cannot picture it. There is, in fact, NO heterosexual explanation for them.

The show throws in the most flimsy, half-hearted nods to the idea that Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei are just Good Platonic Buddies, and then in the next scene will just drop in a 5-10 minute sequence of Shen Wei taking a sick Zhao Yunlan home, tucking him into bed, staring at his sleeping face with a face full of tenderness and longing, and then cleaning his apartment and folding his laundry for him. It's fucking unreal.

The show was very clearly trying to push the limits of subtext to see exactly how much they could get away with, and as far as I can tell the answer they got was "not that much", bc I've heard some suggestion that the show was pulled shortly after broadcast for another round of edits.

So it's on Viki, but if you don't want to pay for a streaming service and don't mind sliiiightly sketchier subs, it's also on Youtube! It might be some other places too, but those are the ones I know about.

I'm going to stop now bc this post could seriously be like 5 times longer but please watch Guardian and join me in my daily cries about Shen Wei (Zhao Yunlan can come too I guess, but it's mostly about Shen Wei, bc of the inherent eroticism of loyalty and life debts)

Lastly, bc I would be remiss not to mention it, here's some warnings about the worst things I can remember off the top of my head. I personally still think the show was well worth watching, but there's a few things I sort of wish I had known going into it, beyond the vague warning "the ending sucks". It's gonna be spoilers, so read at your own risk.

There's some talk about suicide in the first arc which isn't really that bad in the grand scheme of things, but can come across as dismissive and/or insensitive. There's an arc somewhere in the mid-20s that leans on some really ableist "split-personality" tropes. I will fully admit that the only thing that kept me watching at that point was the knowledge that this would be over in an episode or two, and the fact that the youtube subtitles translated comments about other character's behavior as "cringe", which I found an extremely funny translation choice.

And lastly, the finale. The finale is bad in a number of ways, but the biggest and easiest to explain is that the show goes full Bury Your Gays and kills off both Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan. ( and then another entity takes control of Zhao Yunlan's body?? so the general public doesn't actually know he's dead?? which I found pretty uncomfortable) But like basically my view of the ending is that if something bad happened, No It Didn't. Which seems to be the general opinion, since apparently Priest went back and wrote an extra epilogue chapter to fix the drama's ending.

[dindooku]

after a mission goes wrong, you find yourself somewhere you could never imagine.

how will you cope with your new situation?

how do you know who you can trust?

word count: 4,614

rating: E (swearing)

This was no routine operation.

You’d trained for stressful situations like this for the last ten years, enduring more pain, sacrifice and penance then the human body is able to cope with.

But you’re no normal human; you’re a soldier. You’re the Officer Commander of the 118th SAS Special Operations unit, which for this mission was specifically tasked to investigate and neutralise an unidentified object which had landed in enemy territory.

 The mission debrief had been one you’d never forget. You were given very little intel, purposefully. Being it was an unidentified object meant utmost secrecy, despite you being the OC who would be leading the mission to retrieve it. You knew better than to ask questions, and you could only place your full trust in your superiors. So, you were given the only information you needed to know:

* Co-ordinates

* Enemy confines

* General landscape

 This was usual information, nothing you’d not seen before. The debrief was tense, to say the least, but it wasn’t anything you couldn’t handle or hadn’t done before. You were surrounded by a circle of officials, some you recognised, some you didn’t. Your orders were clear.

 “You will leave the base at 18:00 hours to arrive with the 118th at enemy coordinates at approx 04:00 hours. Ensure no civvy is within the target range and that your officers supply daypacks and equipment for Recce. Your mission is to infiltrate enemy confines, secure the UO and then hold guard until we can get a securing unit in.”

 You had looked at your commanding officer with determination. This was an odd mission, yes, but that didn’t mean you were scared. If anything, the abnormality of an unidentified object being the objective of this mission was intriguing, and you were excited to do a recon mission which didn’t involve the usual sieges of palaces or governments with your soldiers, your brothers.

 When you’d first joined the army you always thought that you’d never be excited or ever looking forward to pain or bloodshed. You joined seeking help and routine, just to be anywhere from home. But after spending 10 gruelling years facing oppressors and sick, twisted maniacs with too much power for their own good, you now lapped at the opportunity to right their wrongs and help those caught in the crossfire. Sure, you’d done terrible, terrible things and witnessed tragedies that the human mind couldn’t even begin to fathom if it wanted to, but knowing that you were doing something to help, whether it be violent or not, was what drove you to keep going.

 It was already 16:00 and the sun was begging to set, leaving only 2 hours to prep your boys before heading out on your mission. You’d received the intel and thanked your commanding officer in haste, wanting to let your brothers in on the exciting new challenge that waited ahead. But, before you could leave, you were called back to attention.

 “Commander, one more piece of intel. This is most important, and we cannot emphasise this enough.”

 This piqued your interest, so you stood back to attention and nodded for them to continue.

 “The UO must not be disturbed. As you’ve seen from the Holo-Map, the data projections have shown incredible readings of energy. It’s not come back as radioactive, or anything on the electromagnetic spectrum either which could, or could not be harmful’—” the commanding officer emphasised those last words, as if he’s implying a hidden meaning, or hiding something that they don’t want you to know, “—therefore you’re under strict orders not to touch the UO. You must hold off and contain the drop zone until we can get the specialists from MI5 in. Under no circumstances does anyone touch the UO without specific authorisation. Do I make myself clear?” They finished with stern words, their gaze burning into you. All soldiers were used to strict commanders and the generic intimidating gaze of superior officers, but as a woman in the SAS field, you’ve built-up an indestructible backbone to threatening power plays. You had to, it was one of the first, and one of the hardest lessons in your training. You’re surrounded by men who thought that because of their physical strength this gave them an advantage, but you soon proved yourself over them with your quick thinking and relentlessness. You were brutal, but that's what was required to be successful in such environments. You seemed to have done something right because now you’re the Commanding Officer of the 118th, leading a 6 man battalion, all of which looked to you for orders.

 You nodded again, but you maintained the intense eye contact, not even breaking a sweat. “Yes, Sir. If that is all, I will debrief the men now and we will prepare to leave for 18:00, Sir.”

 The commanding officer nodded a dismissal before turning round to discuss further intel with the other officials in the room; so you took your leave at their dismissal.

 __________

 You couldn’t have been more wrong.

 This was no routine operation.

 Things were quiet, eerily quiet…too quiet.

 You’d made good time with the boys, with only a slight hiccup at point break with 2 guards, but 9’s and Sleeves (your two knife specialists) took care of them with ease. What wasn’t right however was how easy it was to infiltrate. You’d had practically no resistance, and while normal people would celebrate this, you knew better. Something just wasn’t quite right.

 You made the break at 04:00 under the blanket of night. The base was small, only consisting of a few small rooms in a single building. The terrain was a thick jungle, and the humidity was stifling, but you had done enough training and excursions to be practically immune to the heat. The target was set in a clearing of the forest, completely remote and isolated from outside interference. This could’ve explained the limited armourment, but also made you question why an odd-looking temple of sorts was sat smack dead in the middle of the Amazon rainforest. It was obvious under first impressions that the building was ancient, and resembled similarities to the Mayans and Egyptians architecture, but something about the carvings and inscriptions along the walls just wasn’t anything you could recognise. Not that you could read Mayan or Egyptian, but the symbols were unique and seemed extra-terrestrial…odd.

 But now wasn’t the time to play Indiana Jones, you had a mission to do. So, you ordered your men behind you and you breached the compound.

 As soon as you entered the odd-looking temple, the energy around you shifted instantly. It wasn’t just humid with rain anymore, this was a different humid. It was suffocating but not in the physical sense, instead, it was more like a static that clouded your mind and slowed your processing. You glanced back at your soldiers, “Did you feel that?” You said, hushing a whisper into the mic of your helmet.

 “Feel what, Sir?” Screw asked back, the reply static with interference in your earpiece. You tapped the earpiece at the side of your helmet in an effort to fix the static, but it did no good. Still moving forward, you replied.

 “The energy, it feels different in here, don’t you think?”

 “Don’t start with your hocus focus shit.” Sleeves retorted.

 “Yeah, boss now isn’t the time for your ghost stories,” 9s chimed in.

 “Aight, I get it, but it just feels odd… I don’t like it, stay tight,” you commanded, bringing your M14EBR to your shoulder. You really didn’t like the feeling in here, not one bit.

 You all advanced through the temple, making quick work to check and secure each room and corridor before you found yourself in the centre. The static from before was now overbearing, but you kept to yourself, not wanting to give the boys any chance for further teasing. You wouldn’t mind normally, but this place was really giving you bad vibes.

 As you all entered the centre room, the atmosphere changed again. This time is was cold, icy. The sudden chill brought you out in goosebumps, and a harsh shiver raced through your body, but you made effort to maintain your focus and continue with the mission at hand.

 The overbearing static acted almost like a guide, playing hot or cold with every step you took. And with every step towards the centre of the room, it got louder and louder. You peered round to look at your team, only to see them looking back at you, confused at your sudden tensity. Were they not feeling this presence, this energy? How couldn’t they? There’s clearly something going on…

 “Boss… Don’t. Move.” Frankie said sternly.

 You froze. Slowly peering back round to him you looked at the others, who were all still stood at arms at the back of the room where the corridor joined. You were tense beyond belief now, and you hadn’t noticed how fast your heart was beating, the sound of your blood was now deafening as it coursed through your ears and around your body. It was as if your senses were magnified, everything felt overwhelming and suffocating; the feeling of your gloves on your skin, the sound of dust particles drifting through the air, the smell of dirt that hadn’t been disturbed for hundreds of years. You were sweating profusely now, but you still felt ice cold.

 Turning your head slowly, you faced Frankie. “What. Frankie?” Your voice trembled a little under the whisper, but you held yourself together for the moment.

 “Right in front of you, the…the reflection, it’s like a hazy mirror, can’t you see it?” He replied, his confusion twisting his face. He was looking at you like you’re crazy, in fact, they all were. 

 “What reflection—” You hissed back, turning back around to be greeted with nothing. And they told you to cut the hocus pocus? You scanned the area in front of you. There was absolutely nothing, just the rest of the empty room. So, you took another cautious step. Everyone took in a breath at the same time, holding it in. You tensed, waiting for something to happen. But nothing happened. Right, this was all over nothing.

 You turned, relaxing your shoulders, facing the boys.

 “See, nothing to worry abo—” You were cut off by the anxious shouts of your soldiers, who now had their guns pointed at you. “HEY! Hey, put the guns down, what the fuck are you doing?!” You shouted back, but they didn’t respond. You went to take a step back towards them but were blocked by some sort of force, like a wall…but there was no wall. You put your gun out to test the space in front of you but were met with a solid object. But you couldn’t see it…

 “What in the fu—” you muttered, completely at a loss for what was transpiring in front of your eyes. The boys started moving forwards, their shouts were now muffled. odd, it sounded like you were underwater, barely able to make out what they were saying. You wanted to reach out, to touch the odd, static wall in your way. Your curiosity got the better of you, and before you knew what you were doing you were taking off the glove on your right hand and slowly reaching out to the void ahead of you.

 “DON’T! DON’T TOUCH IT, HEY!—”

 “BOSS!—”

 “What the FUCK IS—”

 You couldn’t hear the shouting. You didn’t see your soldiers running towards you. All you saw was your own reflection staring back at you as you raised your hand to reach out, to touch whatever it was before you.

 Your index finger poked the wall, and you instantly recoiled, the icy lightning coursed through your body, igniting your nerves and singeing your blood. You dropped limply to the floor, and like that, you were out like a light.

 ______

 Your eyes dart open.

 You’re gasping for air, choking on it as it soared into your lungs like you’d just been pulled from water.

 You quickly take in your surroundings. You’re on the floor. It’s light out. You’re sweating, it’s hot. It smells almost… smoggy? Wait, this isn’t the temple, it was dark, we were inside… why is there a hand on my back?!

 You shoot up, twisting and grabbing the hand that had rested on your back. You’re still heaving for air. You stare at the human with wild eyes, completely frantic with confusion. This was not where you were last.

 “Hey! Ow! I’m just tryina’ help! What in the…” They trail off as they reach for your handgun, but before they can grab it you shoot up and launch yourself forwards, turning on your toes and pulling the handgun out of the holster to aim it at the perp.

 “Who are you and where am I!” You demand, your voice shaky and raspy, but the tonality is not mistaken - you’re fierce with your formalities. You don’t like getting fucked about.

 “Woah, ok, calm—” they raise their hands, crouching slightly to act as if they’re of no harm.

 “Don’t tell me to be calm. Where. Am. I” you demand, taking a step closer, still aiming the gun between their eyes, finger dancing on the trigger.

 “Hey, ok, you’re on Coruscant. Look around ya, it's ok, no one’s gonna hurt ya, you’re on the upper levels—” they took a step back, gesturing with their arms to the now growing crowd of civilians watching the scene unfolding in front of them. You take a second to peer around you, taking in the environment.

 It was bright, busy and loud, very loud. It looked almost like a local market place, but huge. The street ahead of you was never-ending, bustling with home stalls and shops - neon lights littering the area with sales of all sorts and goods you don’t recognise. Then you see the language, the same symbols and inscriptions as those on the side of the temple. You’re freaking out a bit now. Yeah, you’d done intense training and seen too much shit to care about regularities but this was a whole other level of bat shit crazy. Peering up, you couldn’t believe your eyes. Vehicles of all shapes and sizes where whizzing just above your head, going in all sorts of directions at great speed. They looked nothing like anything you’d seen before, not jets or planes or anything. Something was seriously wrong here, you’re not anywhere you’ve been before.

 You shoot your gaze back down to the crowd around you. There were beings of all shapes and sizes. Some you instantly recognised as human, but others were deformed or misshapen, odd-looking. Upon closer inspection, some had multiple limbs, green, blue, purple skin, 6 eyes. Ok, have I been drugged? You wonder as your jaw drops open with shock. This was stuff you couldn’t even imagine.

 Sensing the attention growing on you by the second, you leap into action. Peering around you take in the buildings surrounding you, and just in the distance, a tall, church-like building stands tall. Right, refuge. Safe-House possibly? You jerk back towards the human who woke you up, giving a quick nod before you dart off towards your new objective.

 Luckily you still have everything with you, your backpack, watch, guns and spare ammo if needed. You didn’t have ID but if you could find some sort of police station you’d be able to hack and search the database to call upon your credentials and send an SOS for recovery. With this in mind, you ran through the streets of ‘Coruscant’ towards to towering cathedral.

 ___

 You don’t think you’ve ever run this fast in your life. Not when you were ambushed by terrorists, not when you’d been kidnapped and you broke free from the encampment, and not even when you’d been woken in your sleep by a pack of wolves on a Russian Intel OP in the middle of Siberia. Your hallucinations hadn’t stopped, and with every turn new, crazy creatures stared at your frantic attempt to find some sort of normality.

 You finally made it to the Cathedral, but you weren’t quite prepared for how grandly spacious and lavish it was; it must’ve been a good kilometre or two wide, and roughly the same in height too. You’d never seen such a large, simple yet intimidating building. Eyeing the courtyard, hundreds of white armoured beings paroled and strode in groups, but not in assembly, casually. They looked like troops, and your suspicions were confirmed by the metal looking guns attached to their hips or swung round their backs. Some had their helmets off, others didn’t, and they seemed to be colour coded. But now wasn’t the time for exploring, you had to find a safe house and make contact with Base. Picking up the pace from where you’d stopped, you run into the Cathedral, taking two steps at a time. What stood before you was nothing you could have ever predicted, or even prepared for.

 Underneath your feet lay long, smooth slabs of a marble-like substance. The area opened up into a great hall of sorts, with pillars of stone arranged in an open rectangle, supporting the towering ceiling above you. The pillars were simplistic but still had the odd inscriptions plastered up and along with each one. The walls were of minimal design too - no grandiose trinkets or monarchs, no real display of wealth or power - it was unlike any church, cathedral or anything you’d ever seen. Crowding the courtyard in the centre were smaller beings, that looked to be children, all either playing or running around, reading or training - grappling with one another, but happily. What you did notice however was that they were all wearing the same similar robes, some different colours to others but the design the same. Was this some sort of School?

 After taking a second to absorb your surroundings, you scrub your palms over your eyes as if to test whether this was all real of not. Undoing the chinstrap and removing your helmet, you slip one strap off your army pack and attach the helmet onto the back. You don’t feel threatened here, and despite not being ordered to remove it, you have the sneaking suspicion that following orders doesn’t really matter right now.

 Then your attention is drawn to the far corner, where a young man dressed in black robes is walking, quite quickly towards you. You look briefly to his right to see another man, dressed in brown and cream robes just behind him, striding just as quickly as if trying to catch up. You go to take a step but you stop yourself to watch what unfolds in front of you.

 “Anakin, for the love of the God’s will you stop and talk to me!” The older man shouts, clearly exasperated with the younger man before him.

 “Look, Master, I felt a disturbance and I must investigate it, it could be dangerous!” The young man retorts, turning to face the older man and waving his arms in the air. They’re both clearly agitated and something is seriously bothering them.

 “I understand that Anakin, I do, I felt it too. But we can’t just go running off in the middle of Council meetings! You know better than this,—” the older man exclaims, running a hand down his face and resting on his beard, slowly stroking it as if in deep contemplation.

“Master, you must learn to trust me, either way - we must investigate this disturbance and find the source before it’s too late. You know this,” the younger counters, shaking his arms as if to show how irritated he is about having to wait.

 “Do not test my patience, Anakin. I—I do trust you Anakin, just please take a second to centre yourself before you go running into the street of—” And before he can finish his sentence the older man's gaze lands on you.

 You lock eyes. You feel an odd pick of electricity as his sapphire blues burn into your eyes, freezing you both in place, forcing your sharp intake of breath to hold painfully in your lungs. His light golden hair is tidily swept to the right, parting on the far left of his temple. It's not short hair, but it’s not long either. It sits in comfortable waves, soothing and sophisticated. His eyebrows match the colour of his hair, perfectly framing the piercing blue eyes that are boring into you. His jaw is framed in a thick but trimmed beard, accentuating his jawline, giving a heavy aura of wisdom to his frame. He’s gorgeous. Sure, you’ve had the hots for guys before and you’ve had your fair share of flings and relationships, but they were nothing substantial or of purpose, they were just tiebreakers that allowed you to fill your time and release hormones; no one had ever really caught your eye and made you double-take - you always thought you never had the capacity to love because of your profession… but there’s always a first for everything. But now really wasn’t the time for admiring men, because you soon realised that said man was now making a beeline towards you at an alarming pace.

 You jolt, realising now is the time to run. Without thinking you run back out into the courtyard. You make quick sense of the stairs, striding three at a time, taking extra care not to trip of fall. Now was not the time for mistakes. Once you reach the bottom you chance a glance back, only to instantly regret your decision as the distance between you and the two mystery men was quickly diminishing. You turn back around and reach for both your pistols this time, one on each thigh. You pull them up and aim as you stop and turn quickly, bracing yourself in a strong side stance, enabling you to bolt again if needed. Just as you pull up to aim at both men, they stop, side by side. You’re frantically breathing now, body tense. Every muscle is coiled and ready to pounce at the drop of a hat, and you will not hesitate to protect yourself.

 Just as you think you have things under control, the two mystery beings reach into their robes and pull a metal cylinder into their hands. What in the name of all that's holy are they going to do with a piece of pipe?! You chuckle to yourself - you couldn’t lie, you’d seen weirder weapons.

 “Where the fuck am I and why are you chasing me,” you hiss. You’ve just about had it with the weird alien shit and you’re not about to be played around. You want straight answers.

 The older man calmly replies, “Language. You’re on coruscant, we could ask the same abo—”

 “Did you just tell me to watch my fucking language?! How about you tell me where the fuck I am before I shoot the brains out of that pretty little mouth of yours?” you grill. How dare he tell you to watch your mouth when you’ve woken up in this weird-ass city filled with aliens and flying space cars.

 “And you tell me I have a bad mouth master—” the younger man cuts, a slight smirk lining his lips.

 “Anakin—,” the older man scolds, obviously not finding the humour in Anakin's reply. He turns his attention back to you, “Look, why don’t we just lower out weapons and—” He goes to take a step towards you but you fire a warning shot to the ground just right of the older man. He instantly stops, and both men glare back at you. This catches the attention of the soldiers in the courtyard, who are now beginning to surround the three of you.

 “Don’t fuck with me,” you hiss back, fingers flexing slightly on the triggers of each gun.

 “Master, why was there no blaster bolt?” Anakin asks, turning his head a fraction towards the older man.

 “I don’t know Anakin but now isn’t the time,—” he replies before both return their full attention back to you. You slowly start to take a step back. You need to get out of here now. “I wouldn’t bother trying to run my Dear, you won’t get far,” the older man advises.

 Oh, I can’t believe this.

 “You,—” you shake your left pistol towards the older man in a way to gather his attention, “What’s your name?”

 “Obi-Wan Kenobi”

 “Well, Obi-Wan Kenobi, one — I am not, Dear — I am a Commanding Officer of the 118th SAS, and two — for your best own interest you will let me walk away so I can find some way back to where I need to be, comprende?” You barter.

 “Master I—,” Anakin is again cut off by Obi-Wan.

 “I’m sorry but I cannot let you do that.”

 “What makes you think you can stop me?” You’re clearly angry now. The absolute cheek of this man, this imbecile in some sort of funky monk clothing telling you not to run. Is he seeing what you’re seeing, can they see the mad aliens and weird flying vehicles just above you?

 “Oh Darling, don’t test my patience” he retorts, adding a hint of sarcasm to his words. You genuinely can’t believe it. A slight chuckle escapes your lips. You’re going mad, this is it. The years of battle and trauma have finally caught up to you and now you’re seeing space monks, great. Your laughter grows louder and the other two men nervously join in, obviously confused about your reaction. You shrug your shoulders, waving your hands in the air in an exasperated manner. The other two men carry on laughing but chance a nervous glare between them in silent communication. You rub your forehead with the back of one of your hands, the cold metal of your pistol soothing your sweat-laden forehead. Your laugh drops and you fire another warning shot from the other hand, deadening your stare back at Obi-Wan. They freeze.

 “I’ve killed more for less. Let me go and I won’t add you to the list,”

 “Master, I’ve had enough of this—,” Anakin huffs, and with a flick of his wrist, you’re now suddenly disarmed. What. The. Fuck.

 “Language. Please, just put your hands out and—” did he just tell me to watch my language? I didn’t say anything, is he reading my mind? “you could say I am, yes, now please just calm down—”

 What the FUCK is going on right now?! “Calm down? Calm DOWN?! What sort of space wizard BULLSHIT is going on right now, how did you do that? How did you throw my guns? Where am I, who are you? What is going on?” You’re starting to panic now, you can feel the bile rising up from your stomach. This is all way too much for you to process. Either you’ve been knocked out cold and have an incredible concussion or you’ve drunk some really funky tea, either way — this can’t be real.

 “Anakin, I think we need to use a trance, can you—,” Obi-Wan mutters to Anakin, holstering the weird metal cylinder tube from before. Anakin does the same and goes to wave a hand but you cut him off.

 “Trance? What do you mean by trance? No, no way, you are not using some weird wizard shit on me, I’m leaving.” You haven’t got time for this. You’ve got a mission to finish, and you need to find a way back to base. Focus on your priorities. You turn to walk away, about to make haste but before you can take a step, everything goes black.

[emokpopgal]

Entanglement - PART 1

Yandere! Ghost! Kyungsoo (D.O.) x Fem! Reader

Warning/s: Mention of suicide, violence, and guilt-tripping. Read at your own risk...

Part 1

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Empty. 

It's all what Kyungsoo can describe the world before him.  He weakly stands on his bathroom floors, eyes staring at his reflection in the mirror. His swollen eyes have developed bags underneath his eyelids accompanied by his build that obviously decreased in weight. He hadn't eaten properly ever since she left.  He hadn't felt alive too

. What he only feels are the turmoil of sadness, guilt, and betrayal inside him. These feelings are what weighs heavily on his chest and he had cried so much that no more tears made its way out of his eyes; it's like he has evolved to be numbed to the effects. He feels like an empty husk of his former self.  It's all my fault. He says to himself.  He felt like he was the one to blame in putting such a relationship to waste. The 10 years of memories and hardships, gone. Their marriage, forgotten. If only he had changed sooner. But he couldn't figure out why. He did give her everything— a roof over her head, his undying love, and a lavish lifestyle. What more could she want? All he wanted was for her to stay, but how could she betray him like this? She promised him that she will stay by his side for all eternity and this was evidenced by her accepting the ring at the time of his proposal. He also promised to change his ways, and he did. But she still left.  It has been a week since she abandoned him and the memory continues to play on his head like a broken record.  "I want to break up." "What...?" "I said I want to break up, Kyungsoo. I can't handle this anymore!" "Jagi," Kyungsoo he says to her. He attempts to grab her hands in which she immediately swats away.  "Is there something I did again? surely we can sort this out—" " I don't think I would want to sort this out again, Soo." "And why is that?" He questions. "I want to END this..." Y/N answers. He couldn't believe what she was saying. Is she really trying to do this now?  He thought.  "End... " He repeats, inquisitively. "A-are you serious?" Y/N, in response, just lowers her head and diverts her gaze on the floor. She's not the type to joke around on these type of situations. Her silence is enough to send him the sign that she is indeed serious on what she's saying. Anger is slowly building up to him. He can't fathom her intentions on abandoning a long term relationship and the marriage that is drawing near. "END?!" He shouts. "What is this bullshit, Y/N?! You want to END all we've been through?" He then plunges his fist into the wall, leaving light cracks on its surface. He's slowly loosing himself and is beginning to give in to the intensity of his emotions. Y/N flinches from the noise. His manner of speaking is starting to frighten her, but she promised herself that she won't back down. Even in the midst of fear, she forced open her mouth. "I-I don't care anymore, Soo! I don't want the marriage, and I...I—!!!" "YOU what Y/N?!" He threatens. "You don't wanna be with me anymore?" "Yes, Soo. And this is not—" "Oh please!" He interjects, kicking the furniture next to him. "This again?! Oh come on Y/N, you're really breaking it off when IT'S 6 MONTHS BEFORE OUR WEDDING?!" He's doing it again. Instead of reasoning out, he reverts to guilt-tripping. It's all because he's blinded by the emerging feelings inside of him and the rising fear of her leaving. He can't stop, he doesn't know how to and this is the only thing he knows on how to respond to these kind of situations. Deep inside, he wants her to take back all what she's saying. Anger is his weapon, but this time it wont affect her as much. "FUCKING YES, I AM!!!" She finally snaps, angered by his reaction and childish choice of actions.Now, she's using the same tricks as his. "Why? 'Cause you don't love me anymore? You don't LOVE me, who gave you everything for the past 10 fuckin' years?!" Yes, keep going. Tell her everything you did and throw it in her face, she is nothing without you. Let's see if she still has the guts to leave... "You really want me to answer that, Soo?" Y/N challenges him. "FINE!" Kyungsoo's eyes widens, fearing the possibilities of what she might say. "Soo, I can't love you anymore, you kept on HITTING me. And for the past 10 god-forsaken years, you still haven't learned to control your goddamn jealousy! I've endured all of this, because I LOVED you! But now I just can't take this anymore!" It's true. All of this is true. But he just simply cannot control himself, and again, he doesn't know how. And he just loves her too much to the point that he must do things in order to make her stay, even if it means that she will answer to his hands.  But he changed didn't he? He even got some help like she always asked him to do. Was that not enough for her? "B-But I've changed Y/N!" He says, with tears starting to form around his eyes. "Tell me... When's the last time? It was like, months ago remember?" She remained quiet again, this time staring at him with mixture of sadness and contempt in her expression. "...Remember?" "Soo..." She says. "After the last time, my love for you started to fade away..." It puzzles him even more. What does she mean it started to fade away? Was he living with the mirage of her loving him all this time? "What?" He says. This is now his breaking point."What do you mean...?"  "I don't love you as much anymore." She bluntly replies. "I thought I would love you again after you proposed. But I did not, especially the time you did it again..."  Reminiscing those painful memories brought tears to Y/N as well. She can remember the pain of his broken promise that he will change for the better. The pain of his fists landing to her body and his insults towards her left a mark that she definitely won't forget.  Then it hit him. The words that came from Y/N became a knife that pierced through his chest that sliced and cut his heart into a million pieces. He felt his body go numb as his tears made its way out if his eyes, trailing down his face. This can't be true — she couldn't possibly mean what she says, right? They have fought like this before and still managed to be together. Surely this will all pass and she will come back again. Or so he thought. "Y/N, y-you can't possibly m-mean that, r-right?" Kyungsoo pleads in between his sobs. "Please t-tell me you don't mean that!" "I meant what I said." Y/N hisses out. She rolls of the sleeves of her blouse, revealing her arms filled scars and cuts that came from Kyungsoo's beating.  "All of this was from you, Soo! And I think this is  alone is enough for me to end this." She covers her arms again and fixes the sleeves of her blouse. She takes an item from her purse, and brings it in front of Kyungsoo's face. The item was their engagement ring. It's silver luster and reflectious diamond stone mimic the light of the sunset rays coming from the window. "We're through." She says, then she proceeds to throw the ring across the room.  The ring bounces off of the opposite wall and falls in the red, mahogany floors of Kyungsoo's house. It's impact on the floor emits a sharp tinging sound. He didn't attempt to look at where the ring has landed off to for he was still frozen of the events happening before him. She then takes one last glance at Kyungsoo, with the sharpest gaze she could muster. "This talk is done, goodbye Doh Kyungsoo. Don't contact me ever again." Y/N turns around and walks towards the door, but before she can reach the handle, Kyungsoo reaches to her, wrapping his arms on her waist with his face resting on her shoulder. She could feel his tears dampening her shirt. Why is she feeling bad? "Please," He says, sobbing. "P-please don't leave me! I will make things right, I'm sorry! I know I can't control myself sometimes but I swear I'll work on myself! Just don't—" Y/N sees the hysteric state the he's in. She is starting to feel guilty about what she is currently doing, but it has been decided that she would leave their toxic relationship. What is the essence of lavish living if she would just constantly live under his fists everyday? It's time that she should think about her own wellbeing rather than their both. She tries pry off his hold to her, but he won't budge. He is stronger than he looks.  "Kyungsoo please..." She pleads as she squirms in his arms. "It's going to be the same again! Just let me go." He then lets go of her. It became clear to him that she no longer wants to do anything with him. He watches her make her way outside his house as she slams the door in front of him. Y/N is his whole world, and always will be. She was his savior from his own darkness, but the down side to that is, in certain times she takes all of it. The outcome of this is their frequent fights, leaves Y/N as always the loser, evidenced by the painful marks left on her skin. He did gave her everything, as he said. But...She still chose to leave Going back to reality, he stares at the object sitting at his sink. He's been contemplating of doing it, since he lost everything the day he lost her. However, he sets this plan aside for the moment, because he is yet to bring her back to him. He'll even beg in his knees if he has to. -----  SM Telecoms is the company that Y/N works for. On the foot of the building is a café, where he and Y/N would usually meet. This is where he often picks her up— he even knows her favorites from their menu.   The café's exterior was made up of windows huge enough to see it inside, which is usually filled with customers from or outside the company. This is Y/N's hang out place after her work hours. Kyungsoo's car was parked parallel to the café, granting him a clear view of the place, even when he's on the other side of the road. He patiently anticipates the time she goes to the café. After a few hours of waiting, he spots her on the building's lobby, with her peers around her, seemingly chatting about some stuff he doesn't care about. She looks so normal, as if nothing has happened to her. He makes his way outside his car and crosses the road to meet her, which in turn just ends up him standing outside the building's entrance. There he can see her better, as she and her friends enter the café on the entrance on the building's lobby.  He decides to observe them some more before barging in. Two of her female friends went to get their orders while she and a particular male friend sits on a spot together.  They are sitting in the same side and appears to be chatting. Y/N seems to be enjoying it as she laughs along with him.  She doesn't laugh like that around me... He thought. He took one step towards the entrance, then stopped again to take another glance at her. She looks so happy with them. This made him hesitant to continue on his intentions because he also thought that it would do nothing. It's pointless coming in here... I should just leave her alone. That's what she wants. It might be his excessive jealousy, but seeing her with another guy sent an overbearing amount of anger and hurt in his nerves. He can't continue on his plan anymore, for it appears that she had found someone else to lean on, therefore there is no point of him pursuing her. He confirmed it— she doesn't love him. He went back to his car, and drove away with such speed. The car ride back to his house was absolute hell -- he drove carrying the feeling of heartbreak and loneliness with small tears clouding his vision. He almost got caught for over speeding and even thought of crashing it to the traffic in front of him. He blames himself, yet he's pins all of this at her. He loves her, yet he loathes her.  Days have passed, but he still feels the same. He even sent her hundreds of messages and missed calls, to which she didn't even bother to answer. His mind is slowly succumbing into madness. He abandoned everything — his family, his work, and his life is coming next. His family and coworkers are wondering where he is, because he's not even responding to their messages. He's closed himself off to everyone.  He thinks that there is no more point in living, especially if she's not in there. The one who gave him purpose has thrown him away. Everything reminds him of her, and it's driving him insane. He wants her so bad but he can't have her anymore. All of his irrational thinking is clouding the clarity of his judgements and its spiraling him out of control. Drowning within the emotion of anger, sadness, and betrayal, he grabs the object that has been waiting for him for so long.  His handgun. He begins loading it, and switches it off to safety.  He takes one final breath, and then proceeds to point it on his head. The index finger of the hand that holds the gun brushes on its trigger, and in a split second. He fires. He brought his insanity in his grave. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Local Man commits suicide — Cause unknown; no letter found. Calling...

Mrs. Doh "Y/N! Y/N!!!" The voice calls to her in the midst of crying. "My dear Soo! *sob* H-He's gone! My S-s-soo's gone!!!" Y/N can only stare at the tv, wide eyed, with regret slowly creeping up to her. It's all my fault.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Love is like wine as many would say; the longer it gets, the sweeter it tastes. But in the case of Y/n and Kyungsoo's relationship, the 'wine' in their 10 year relationship has grown moldy that it leaves a very strong, unpleasant taste. This only signifies that the love that binds them together has not been nurtured well, therefore creating a very sickening and pungent flavor. A flavor that only Y/N tastes between the two of them.  In the beginning, she thought that he was the one. Others would say that she is lucky in having him in her life— very hardworking, mature, and has a future planned ahead of him. Y/N, on the other hand, compliments him. She is known to be steadfast yet loving and soft; a kind that every man needs. If one were to only view the tip of the iceberg, their relationship would be described as a "dream" relationship.  But plunging further to its depths is where things goes in a much darker turn. Their relationship became toxic as she began to feel trapped under his spell. It's very suffocating, knowing that someone is slowly gaining control of your life.  For her sake, she decided to end it all. But where did it land her? Did she get any satisfaction from what she's done?  The sky is painted gray as countless of droplets plunge into the earth from the skies. It seems to mourn with them for the loss of their beloved Soo. People dressed in black has their tears mixed with rain as their wails adds to the sound of thunder that ravages the clouds. She stands in front of him, yet she couldn't take a look on where he's at. She's at pain too, and its because of the mixture of sorrow and guilt that she feels. She does cherish a handful of good memories with him, and she did love him nonethless. But she never expected that he would go like this. She also knows herself that she has something to do with this "Y/N," his mother calls to her. "I think this belongs to you. We found this at his house... I think you'll need this." In his mother's hand was a shiny, silver ring decorated with a big diamond gem — their engagement ring. It still shines despite the gloomy weather.  She doesn't know why, but something's compelling her to not take the ring. It radiates a certain negative force, causing her fear that screams in the back of her psyche. She's afraid of the item, because it reminds her of him. Noticing that Y/N was not taking the ring, she grabs her left hand and proceeds to insert the ring on Y/N's ring finger. "Please don't loose this," she says to her. "This is the only thing that binds you to him..." They say that emotions get left behind on certain places or items. An example of this is the feeling of happiness, or nostalgia, upon seeing an item or a place that has made a special connection to you. This is also like looking at a photo, wherein as you look into the pictured world presented before you, you either feel the sensation of joy, longing, sadness, or any emotion you think attributed to the picture.  This is the case for the ring he left for her. The memory of betrayal and anger has marked the object, thus Y/N sees this as something dreadful. These certain emotions harnesses energy emitted by the mind, thus attracts certain entities or beings beyond human comprehension. However, If these emotions are strong and lingered long enough, the entity it attracted will find it difficult to leave, because it has already made a strong connection to the emotions. What she thought she has left can never and WILL NEVER leave her at this point. The ring was still in her hand as she made her way back into her own home. Night came and enveloped her room in moderate darkness, with the moonlight shining on her. Her eyes can barely figure anything in the dark, yet it is still open. The longer she sees the ring, the more powerful the guilt grows inside of her, eating away what's left of her sanity. She is alone in her current house with no housemates or relatives to keep her company.   She closes her eyes, yet she can still see his tear-stained face, begging for her. Finally, she delves into sleep  but unbeknownst her, a pair of watchful eyes observe her in the darkness. It feeds off her strong emotions that is caused by the memories that haunts the ring. He promised to take her back, and he will. Even if he's in the afterlife. 

A/N: I finally did it! My first post!!! More coming soon though, please be patient with me. Also, I do apologize if I took too long, did a lot of last-minute changes. Feel free to DM me to help me improve my work. Criticism is accepted, just as long as you are nice about it. See you again on the next part! ^____^