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bucknastysbabe · 1 year

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Slips through cracks

A/N: Idk where this monstrosity TW of a beast came from but hope someone enjoys!

Rating: Explicit

Tags: TW implied ab*se, past underage, incest, weird manipulation and childhood trauma, Aegon being Aegon, drug and alcohol abuse. Modern!au, Frottage, fucked ass up greens, Daeron’s twin reader, she’s of age in this, nepo baby Aegon with a coke problem, Daddy Criston hours, I attempted to use English terms👍🏻 xoxo your pathetic American, toxic relationships

Oh boy, the trip to Oldtown. The whole family has to go see Daeron play in the Westeros Cup of football. You included. Ripped from an Essosi holiday break to cohabitate with the most dysfunctional unit of all time for a weekend. Then you could fuck back off to your own pretentious private school, Helaena could go back to her cottagecore Etsy shit, Aemond to med school, and Aegon.

You clenched your teeth at the mere thought of him. Degenerate. Drunk. ‘Wild Prince’, Asshole. You could go on. He was videoing the plane, incessantly talking to his ‘followers’. There was no way he wasn’t coked the fuck up right now. Aemond sniffed and tucked his nose further into his book, eyes rolling at the eldest.

Alicent and Viserys had already made it to Otto’s place, sending Criston Cole to keep the ‘kids’ in check. Even though you and Daeron were legal adults now. Peering over your book you watched Helaena knit a sweater in the fine print of a spider’s web. She smiled softly and asked, “Do you think he’ll like it?” She was almost done and it did look damn good, Daeron would love it. Your twin was kind and definitely could find a way to insert the handmade item into his wardrobe.

“Yeah Hel, you know he’s going to find a way to wear it every chance possible,” you laughed.

“Darling Daeron,” she sighed under her breath, eyes dreamy. You watched her nimble fingers, tuning out Aegon’s wretched talking and Aemond’s pointed noises. Eventually your eyes slipped shut, book falling into your lap.

“It’s time to get up,” he teased in your ear, you bolting upright with a gasp. Aegon smiled down at you, grinning lecherously, tucking a strand of hair behind an ear. You scoffed and stood up, shouldering him off in the process. Your big brother whined, “C’mon you’re still mad at me? I was drunkkkk.”

Being drunk does not constitute leaving your sister in your dorm for a night after promising a ‘real flea bottom party’ with his ‘famous friends’. You cried watching him being a dumbass on social media, plastered with girls and drugs. Idiot. You got an actual Uber back to the family estate, crying to Criston about your dick brother.

You ignored him further, wanting to rip that stupid earring out of his head. Aegon pouted, prodding further, even taking your bags for you. Which the dumbass never worked out so he was struggling. You couldn’t help but quirk your lips up as the eldest brother almost fell face first down the jet’s stairs.

Aemond snatched your duffel, easily hauling it over a broad shoulder. He snapped, “You being a pathetic clown isn’t going to magically fix everything.” You shared a look with Cole and snickered. Aegon grumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets, “Oh get the stick out of your arse Aem.”

Helaena drifted aside, eyes on the sky, gazing towards the tower your mother’s side of the family was named for. You followed her gaze, frowning. It was a gleaming beacon on the outside, a gloomy vault on the inside. You hated it there, unsure why they couldn’t just abdicate the site to national affairs like every other royal did. Too proud.

Cole ushered you all into the limo, giving Aegon an extra shove and low curse, the blonde rolling his eyes. You sat far away from your elder sibling, asking Aemond how school was going. He replied in that stiff way of his, “More tests and research, then hopefully I can get my first residency. I’d like to be in a high-profile area like King’s Landing or Lannisport. Get more expertise.”

You nodded along, giving your brother best wishes. He hummed, “And your studies? Last I heard you’d rather play tennis.” You rolled your eyes and snorted, “I’ve given up hope, I won’t be a professional like Daeron. Finding myself with a passion for Psychology and it’s social aspects.”

“So you can figure out what’s wrong with the Targaryen bloodline,” Aemond said.

The aggravating ringing of Aegon’s phone ruined one of your rare conversations with Aem. He apologized sheepishly but still held up a finger as he argued with someone over the phone. It was either about one of his girls, drugs, or both. You rolled your eyes and groaned, watching the city pass by as the limo bumped it’s way toward the Hightower.

“Okay, whatever, fuck you I have plenty of others!,” Aegon spat, cheeks red from annoyance. Criston reached over the limo and snatched the cell, stuffing it in a coat pocket. Your brother gaped like a dying fish before demanding, “Give that back! I was in the middle of a conversation!”

“You’re getting on everyone’s nerves. Obviously it’s not doing you any good so why don’t we take a break, eh?” His brown eyes remained stony, arms crossed authoritatively. Ser Criston was basically the surrogate dad of your group, Viserys preoccupied with his health and elder daughter, her brood.

Aegon begged but received nothing. Eventually the prince settled down when Criston said he’d return the phone after they got there. The idiot instead rolled his window down to the crowd outside and waved, cheering with the people. You could see the cameras flashing on his cheeks, Aegon just sucking it all in. Aemond slunk deep into his seat and Helaena put on her noise cancelling headphones.

Aegon’s violet eyes turned to you, breathlessly stating, “They love me you know.” You retorted, “They love how accessible you are.” Aegon’s cheery smile faltered for a second, eyes flitting down. It didn’t last long as he painted the grin back on and blew a kiss to a girl decked in Oldtown’s team colors.

Eventually the limo pulled into the high gates surrounding the tower. Attendants were already getting your bags and taking them to the assigned rooms. Your mother, Alicent, and grandpa Otto waited by one of the many grand doors. She hugged and kissed you, blessing the seven for your safe arrival. The same spiel happened except for Aegon who got a stiff kiss on the cheek. Otto and Helaena shared an embrace, your sister happily chattering to him about her sweater for Daeron.

You raised a brow and asked, “Where is Daeron anyways? With the team still?” You checked your phone to see if you missed a text. Alicent replied, “He’ll be here later, they’re finishing up practice currently.” You frowned. Daeron had better get here quick or you feared someone was going to get stuck with a knife.

Criston held out Aegon’s phone to the blonde, who snatched it up greedily. His ringed fingers and violet eyes soaked up whatever minutes he had missed. You asked, “Can I go to my room? I have a headache.” Otto put his hand at the small of your waist and said, “Yes, come on, I’ll get someone to bring you water and medicine.”

You must’ve been really tired, blinking open your groggy eyes to see that hours had passed. Stretching your body you let out a little squeak, happy to have some alone time. Then the door crashed open and a freshly showered Daeron cheered, “Sister!” You grinned and hopped out of the bed as fast as possible, tripping in the process but your sibling caught you easily.

You pulled the taller twin into a hug, gushing, “This is so exciting! Look at you, Mister Oldtown Football himself.” Daeron blushed and rolled his eyes, “Nothing but hard work, I swear,” he added lowly, “And beating off bloodsuckers.” You smirked and both of you simultaneously said, “Aegon!”

Daeron groaned, “Yes, I had to come find you so he’d stop getting me on his social media shite. He went out to party though, so we’re clear for dinner.” You laughed and replied, “Well, let’s go have some family bonding. You need to tell me all about your year.”

“No you, freezing away in the North like that.”

Bonding with Daeron was exactly what you needed. Even dinner was not unpleasant, Viserys in a jovial mood. No one spoke of the elephant in the room. Your twin did slide his phone over to you later in the sitting room, dramatically pantomiming a gag. The video was of Aegon draining a shot between some broad’s tits. You could see the coke on the table in the back, loads of it.

Aemond peered over and barked a laugh, “Oh he’s going to be a nightmare in the morning.”

You swallowed at the comment, a thought leaving as soon as it appeared.

You grumbled, “Hopefully Cole will leave him out there.” Daeron smirked, “Someone’s still mad about summer.” You batted Daeron’s shoulder, now clad in Hel’s sweater. You pouted, “Try getting left alone all night! It sucked.” Your twin gave you a look, murmuring, “I know he’s your favorite for some reason but you shouldn’t trust Aegon.” You leveled him with a glare.

Daeron dropped the subject and the rest of the evening went smoothly. You went to bed when your twin had to return to the team complex. You tossed around for a bit, wondering about your eldest brother. Eventually sleep graced you. Not for long.

You groggily beat at whoever was in your bed. You rasped, “There’s no ghosts here Daeron.” Then realization hit you. Daeron was across Oldtown. Bolting upright you flicked on the lamp to be greeted with a disheveled Aegon. His purple eyes were big and sad. Obviously he’d been crying. Your big brother was likely suffering from a coke crash into a sad drunk fit.

You cursed, “The fuck are you doing? How did you get here?”

Aegon’s plush lips wobbled as he sniffed, “Cole got me.”

“Why are you crying?”

Aegon sniveled some more, “Did you mean that earlier? Does anyone like me? Why do y-you hate me?”

You gawked at him, perplexed by the behavior. Throwing up your hands you demanded, “Aegon you’re twenty-four years old, why are you crying in my bed like we’re children? I don’t hate you, you’re just a selfish prick.”

The blonde threw himself on top of you with another cry, apologizing profusely. You sighed, “Thanks- I guess. It hurt my feelings when you left me alone all night. I thought I was more important than that, big brother.” If you were turning the screws on him, that was your business alone, but it worked like a charm.

He pulled back and shook his pale locks, blubbering, “No-no-no you are so important to me, I am a selfish prick! I’ll make it up to you when Daeron wins!” Aegon was embarrassingly pathetic. But here you were, rubbing his heaving back while he whimpered, “No one gets me like you do.” You idly wondered if he said this to other girls or just his sister, which had long been a strangeness never deeply thought about. It’s just something that was, is.

You sighed, “I love you big brother, of course I get you, now can you get the booze clothes off and we can go to bed? I have some leftover headache stuff you can take.” He snuffled into your neck, wetting your skin with more tears. Shoving the man off you gently ushered him along.

“Promise you love me? I love you more than anything little sister,” he whispered into the darkness once the light clicked off.

You replied, eyes unblinking up into the inky black of the room while he cuddled into you, “Love you more than anything big brother.” A tear slipped down your cheek but you arms were too busy wrapped around Aegon to wipe it.

You awoke again tucked into his frame like many a night from the past. He always came back to you. As soon as Daeron and you grew up enough to not be attached at the hip, that’s when Aegon sunk his talons in.

He pressed little sleepy kisses to your neck, humming in contentment. Aegon murmured, “Smell so sweet. My perfect sister.” You swallowed at the feeling of his cock swollen and nestled between your thighs, only separated by thin cotton. Wetness had already seeped out your cunt, probably started when you were still asleep.

You chided, “A-Aegon, what if mother walks in?”

He whined, “C’mon, please, missed my sister’s pussy, please baby.” You found your will crumbling at the sounds of his breathless grunts and hot cock rubbing against your swollen folds. Aegon moaned like a needy whore in your ear, rutting harder and whimpering like he couldn’t enough. His hands grabbed and groped at your tits desperately.

“Hnnn- oh fuck, you get me so horny, m’so fucking hot for you.”

You rolled your hips back easily, playing into this mood. It was like muscle memory now, start baby talking him when he got this desperate. You pitched up your moans, “Yeah? Big brother all hard n’ achy for me? Gonna mess your little sisters panties up before breakfast?”

“Fuck!,” he cried, mouthing at your shoulder with a shudder. Aegon mewled, “Yeah, yeah- mmmfuck yeah m’gonna bust, so hard for you.” You taunted, “Didn’t even get a nut off last night? My handsome big brother surrounded by all these pretty girls and- oh- has to come rut into the baby?”

The tip of his cock was dragging the soaked material of your panties across sensitive nerves. You cried Aegon’s name softly, pressing your tits into his greedy hands, squeezing around his prick. He stuttered and whined, long and loud at your ministrations. The prince whimpered out, voice strangled by desire, “I thought about you, how much mmh- better your pussy is, oh gods m’gonna cum!”

You turned around to seize his loose lips, colliding with wet smacks. Both of you drooled and whined into eachother’s mouth, fucking faster by the second. The bed was faintly squeaking by now. You gasped, “Brother! Aegon!” He rasped, “Love you oh my gods love you.”

The elder seized up, hot cum soaking and staining your underwear further. He whined through his nose, exhaling on a choppy breath. You came soon after, Aegon’s whining and tweaking at your tits sending you over the precipice with a tight squeeze and muffled wail.

Your legs trembled as he slumped against you, pressing another kiss before rolling onto his back with a sigh. He jerked you over to him while fumbling to the side for his phone. You laid quietly while he slid through the messages and videos, a frown on his lips. He asked, “Do you ever think about running off to Essos?”

You shrugged, “Sometimes. I don’t think it’ll be much different for you in Braavos or Astapor.”

He challenged, “It would be just me and you. I swear.” The phone was put away petulantly, his red rimmed eyes staring into your own. Footsteps passed outside, your eyes nervously flickering to the door. Peering back at Aegon you said, “Just say the word and I’ll go, big brother.”

He seemed satisfied at that, lips curling back up. Aegon sighed, “Good. I’ll get going then. Love you.” He pecked your lips again and darted out an old servant’s exit while you watched blankly. Holding back a retch you texted Daeron, “Good luck today!”

#READ THEM TWS #dead dove #aegon ii angst #aegon ii targaryen #aegon targaryen x reader #hotd fic #hotd smut #targaryen!reader #modern!au

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shensation · 6 months

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My back yard is a popular hotspot for neighborhood cats- some outdoor pets, some strays. I've seen at least five DIFFERENT cats drinking from my frog pond. Recently I had been seeing this little black cat a lot more than usual.

So about a week and a half ago, it was pouring rain and I looked onto my deck and what do I see but THREE FERAL KITTENS PLAYING. I think they were born in the bush next to our deck and she took them to high ground when the rain made it swampy. I took the above video where I realize why I'd been seeing that cat so much.

You can also hear in my voice at the end as I wonder what the Hell I'm supposed to do now. Do I... do I just leave the kittens?? The mom will be back when Im gone.

I decided to take them in. Better to be raised in a warm house than grow up feral in my back yard, right? I still believe this but I couldn't help but feel like a kidnapper when I caught them.

I only managed to catch two. The third hid where I couldn't reach him, and the mama came back and took him away. I haven't seen either since. I'm gonna try calling TNR and see if they can find her. I hope that third kitten is okay.

MEANWHILE NOW I HAVE TWO KITTENS.

My pal @squimoo fosters kittens so I yelled at her and she gave me some advice. She said they looked about 4 weeks, which is old enough to be raised away from mom. I gave them warm towels and boxes to hide in, and some of my cat's wet food, and gave them some space.

They slowly got more comfortable and we moved them to the office where we had a little more environmental control. The next day I took them to the vet. Both healthy- no mites or worms or anything, got their shots and flea meds- both girls!

(Husband was a tiny bit sad- he wanted a boy cat lol)

So we have now adopted two precious baby kittens! Over the past week they've warmed up to us a lot, and we're seeing their personalities!

Husband and I each named one. He named the dark one Gally, after his favorite manga Battle Angel Alita.

I named the blonde one Azrael, the angel of death but also Gargamel's cat from the Smurfs. I always thought that was a badass name for a cat lol.

Azrael is cautious and shy but she'll purr for chin scritches. She loves to climb, as high as she can- she'll be the first to knock over our Christmas tree.

Gally is playful and friendly. She loves attention and wet food and attacking our toes. She loves belly rubs and keeps trying to climb up after her sister but isn't as sure of her footing yet.

And that's the story of how I have two new kittens and they are my life and I love them

(Alchemy is displeased. We're working on that.)

#cats #kittens #my kitten story #cute cats

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riversofmars · 9 days

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I keep thinking I need to get better at cross-posting again and then I forget. But here we are with another attempt. A little fic for the prompt "Lost Dog". Sounds random and it is, but it also really worked and was fun to write!

One And Only

Summary: On her way back from the shop, Liv makes a sudden and unintentional acquisition. Rushing back to 107 Baker Street, she hopes Helen will be able to help her with her predicament. One thing she hadn't banked on, however, was that she was setting off an avalanche of surprisingly emotional revelations. (Rating: G)

“HELEN!” Liv yelled up to flat 4 at 107 Baker Street, hoping her best friend would still be in the living room where she had been when she’d left. She couldn’t risk opening the door. “HELEN!” she called again, drawing curious looks from passers-by and tried her best to ignore them. The last thing she wanted to do was cause a scene, things were bad enough as they were. Mercifully, eventually, her best friend stuck her head out of the window and looked down to her.

“Liv? Is everything alright?” she called back, and it seemed she hadn’t realised her predicament, else she would likely have commented.

“Can you come down here a minute?” the med-tech requested and Helen, kind and considerate as she always was, merely nodded with a smile, closing the window again. Liv made her way up to the front door, hoping against hope her problem would solve itself but it didn’t. “Yeah, alright-” she mumbled, waiting anxiously until the linguist finally opened the door.

“What is it?” she asked brightly, only to have the chocolate coloured dachshund, that had been following Liv, jump up at her legs with excitement. “Oh-” She blinked, confused and was likely asking herself the same question the med-tech had been struggling with the last few minutes: Where had the dog come from?

“It won’t leave me alone,” Liv rushed to explain. “It just started following me and- It was trying to come in the house and I didn’t know what to do so…” Her rambling trailed off when she saw her friend crouch down to greet the animal with a wide grin.

“Hello you…” she hummed, brushing her hand across his head and behind his ears. She seemed perfectly at ease, even looked to be enjoying herself, and Liv gaped.

“Careful! What if it has fleas?” she exclaimed and Helen laughed.

“He’s clearly a pet, he’s got a collar, the lead is still attached and look how clean he is. Clearly his owners have lost hold of him, that’s all,” she chuckled as the dog rolled over, presenting its belly to her, begging for more affection. It was actually quite cute, as was the look on her friend’s face.

“Yeah well-” Liv flapped her arms and the linguist looked up to her.

“What’s the matter?” she asked with a grin. “Do you not like dogs?”

“I don’t not not like dogs, I just… don’t know what to do with them-” the med-tech admitted, her cheeks pinking as she scratched the back of her head. Perhaps she had been a bit exaggerated in her response. “We don’t have them on Kaldor.”

“You don’t have dogs on Kaldor?” Helen echoed in disbelief.

“It’s not the sort of place where you can walk pets,” Liv shrugged. It wasn’t something she had ever truly thought about. She’d known people to have pet lizards and the like but that was about it. Dogs were hardly suited to the desert. Looking at the linguist now, seeing the grin that was painted on her lips while stroking the small creature, she thought perhaps she could be convinced into having one…

“Oh, Liv,” the blonde chuckled as the dog turned over once more, jumping up her knees, clearly wanting to be in her arms. “You’re missing out.”

“He clearly likes you,” Liv commented, unable to help a smile of her own. It was lovely to watch. “Did you have one? When you were younger?”

“No… no… I wanted one, but… father would never have allowed it…” A flash of sadness crossed her friend’s face. “This girl I used to be friends with had one… I’d go around all the time. While I could anyway…” She cleared her throat, clearly not wanting to dwell on it, so the brunette didn’t push. Instead, she watched her getting up and grasping the lead. “We’ll have to try to find his owner… Did he just run up to you?”

“Yeah, literally, just halfway up the street suddenly he was there snaking around my legs-” Liv answered truthfully and as she gestured down the road, Helen’s eyes fell to her hand, spying what she was holding.

“Think it’s that sausage roll…” she pointed out with a smirk and the med-tech looked down at the half-eaten pastry in her hand.

“Oh.”

“Well, with his little legs, he can’t have run very far,” Helen concluded, looking up and down the road. “Which way were you going?”

“Just down the road from Greggs…” Liv answered and the blonde nudged her to get walking.

“Is this a reflection on the salad I made for lunch?” she teased as they fell into step with each other.

“That was lovely!” the med-tech retorted immediately, colour draining from her cheeks. She didn’t mean to offend her, not when she had been so kind to make her a lovely lunch. She had, however, still been peckish and the opportunity had been there when her friend had sent her to the shop for milk… only, she hadn’t gotten that far yet. Then the dog had happened.

“But you still had to get a sausage roll,” Helen hummed, fixing her eyes forward.

“Well… salads are not that filling…” Liv mumbled awkwardly, fighting a wave of concern. “I’m sorry, are you mad?”

“Not even a little,” the blonde laughed, shooting her an affectionate look. “Just amused. Teaches me for trying to feed you healthily.”

“I eat healthily! Just fancy a treat every now and again,” the med-tech launched a feeble defence, relieved that she hadn’t taken offence. The dog was walking ahead of them happily, though as she took a bite of the sausage roll it promptly stopped to whine at her. She nearly fell over it, drawing another laugh from her best friend.

“And you call a sausage roll a treat?” she quipped, clearly amused. “Well, I was thinking of doing some baking later, but maybe now I need to reconsider if you don’t want anything sweet…”

“Were you really?” Liv’s expression brightened immediately. She adored Helen’s baking. And really, everything else she made. Just as she adored her… She could probably feed her anything and she’d thank her… But the prospect of baked goods was certainly an intriguing one.

“Well, let’s find who this dog belongs to, and then we can talk about cake,” Helen suggested with a smirk and that certainly quickened her friend’s steps.

“Right, let’s get to it!” she declared, stuffing the remainder of her sausage roll into her mouth in a messy, yet somewhat adorable display. “Surely whoever lost him will be looking for him too,” she spoke through crumbs, hoping the dog would be less distracted now.

“Oh my god, Aiyko!” a female voice called ahead of them, making them both look up. A woman who was dragging along a small child hurried towards them. Her face was flushed in near panic and promptly, the dog started pulling. “You’ve found our dog!” This was clearly the owner and she crouched down to greet her pet with joy and relief.

“I turned around and he was just following me,” Liv said, exchanging a quick look with Helen who was smiling happily as well. They had gotten lucky for their search to yield results so quickly.

“Eyeing up her sausage roll, most likely,” the linguist added, giving her friend an affectionate nudge as the woman looked up to them.

“My son insisted he just had to hold him and of course he let go and- Trying to manage a child and a dog-” she gestured to her son who looked about five years old and was now having a turn at greeting the dog.

“Oh we can only imagine,” Helen gave back kindly. “Everything was fine though, he was very friendly.” She knelt down as well, giving the small dog another stroke as this was goodbye.

“His recall could be better,” the woman sighed as she straightened up and looked to Liv with an apologetic smile. “All these distractions- I’m so sorry to have inconvenienced you.”

“It was no bother at all, he’s lovely,” the blonde carried on and looking up to her to check it was okay to do so, she handed the lead back to the small boy. “Here you are, little man. Hold on tightly this time, yeah?” The child gave a firm nod, as she took care to wrap the lead around his hand so he couldn’t so easily lose it.

Liv, for her part, found herself rather transfixed. She knew her friend to be kind and gentle and every time she witnessed it first hand, the affection she held for her in her heart grew. Soon enough, she feared it would burst. So far, she had done alright to keep her romantic feelings for her hidden, assuming them unwelcome, but she wasn’t sure if she would be able to keep it up indefinitely.

“Thank you so much, honestly, I don’t know what we would have done-” the woman sighed, running her hand through her hair as the shock slowly wore off and Helen stood up again.

“It’s really no problem at all, just glad we found you,” the linguist gave back kindly. “I’m not sure how Liv would have coped with a dog in the flat. That would be a first.” She shot her friend a cheeky smile and the med-tech rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly.

“He’s cute, but probably not the best first pet,” she admitted sheepishly, glad the matter had been easy enough to resolve.

“Please, let me buy you a coffee as a thank you?” the woman suggested. “You and your girlfriend.” She looked in between the two of them hopefully.

Liv’s heart dropped and Helen seemed perplexed.

“My-” she started but the med-tech was quick to interject, trying to avoid an uncomfortable situation.

“No, it’s fine, really.” She shook her head firmly. “ Just happy you got him back. We do have to get on.”

“Thank again,” the woman smiled and as her son was already starting to wander off with the dog again, she had no choice but to rush after them, leaving them in a muddle without realising as much. Silently, tensely, they turned to head down the road back towards Baker Street.

“Helen… you okay?” Liv probed eventually, disliking the heavy silence that had settled around them.

“Yes… perfectly fine…” the linguist answered and far too quickly. It made the med-tech all the more worried.

“Really?” she prompted anxiously, as her stomach twisted itself up in knots. Helen didn’t answer, not immediately, silence fell again and it took the length of another two houses before she asked:

“Why do you think she said that?”

“What?” the brunette questioned, even though she knew full well what she meant. It was the comment that had thrown her, too, though only out of concern over the effect it might have on her friend.

“That she assumed we-” Helen flapped her hand in between the two of them but didn’t look at her.

“Oh uh… I dunno…” Liv mumbled awkwardly, pushing her hands into her pockets, taking to watching the pavement beneath her feet. Perhaps she had caught the way she had been looking at her, so full of adoration… Everyone seemed to be aware of it… Ron and Tony had commented. Tania had asked about their relationship. Sometimes she even thought the Doctor knew… Like that time he had set them up on a date on Kaldor… It seemed the most obvious thing in the world to anyone except Helen herself… and while it remained like that, Liv wouldn’t dare to say anymore.

“I forget…” the linguist carried on with a little huff and the brunette frowned, confused.

“Forget?” she echoed and with a deep breath and without looking at her, Helen elaborated.

“That it’s… In this time… that it’s perfectly normal… People don’t think twice… They see two women together and just… assume it might be that…”

“Well… it’s not so far-fetched, is it?” Liv commented though she wasn’t entirely sure why that had been her response of choice. Perhaps it was just that she wanted some sort of confirmation that in another universe, it could be that… even if it wasn’t.

“If you say so…” the linguist mumbled, dropping her eyes to the floor and her friend’s frown deepened. While she hadn’t expected enthusiastic agreement, she found her tone odd. She didn’t seem uncomfortable at the thought, merely disbelieving and perhaps a little disheartened. Liv couldn’t be sure so she probed further.

“You don’t think so?”

“What would you possibly want with me…” Helen scoffed, shooting her a look, a pained half-smile that made the brunette’s chest tighten. Was she serious? Did she really think she wouldn’t want her in some way that implied she wasn’t just not interested but that she wasn’t good enough?! It was ludicrous!

“Helen!” She grabbed her arm and stopped her, forcing her to face her. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“I’m just saying… Even if, you know… You wouldn’t end up with me…” the linguist answered, seemingly confused as to why she had stopped her, but sure of her answer. She started walking again, as if she was trying to evade the conversation. “I think Tania has her eye on you anyway and she’s probably more-”

“More what?” Liv shot back, quickening her steps to catch up. “My type?” Annoyance swept over her. “You haven’t got the first idea what my type might be! What I find attractive in a woman. What I would be looking for in a partner,” she argued, surprising herself with the sharpness of her tone. She wasn’t setting out to have a go at her but she needed to make her understand that she was in no way lesser than Tania or any other woman for that matter. As far as the med-tech was concern, she was the one, the only one-

“Well no… How would I know… You haven’t said…” Helen countered calmly, if slightly shakily. She didn’t look at her or stop.

“You haven’t asked!” the med-tech retorted, unable to keep a measure of hurt from her voice. It wasn’t that she was hurt, no, that was wrong to assume. It was that she hurt for her friend who seemed to think terribly little of herself to misjudge the situation so grossly. If only she had asked, perhaps then she’d understand…

“Right,” Helen mumbled, a flash of hurt crossing her face as well, and Liv felt the conversation slipping away from her. This was not what she was aiming for, she never, ever, wanted to hurt her friend, so she changed course.

“I like kindness,” she said, and the linguist’s response was puzzled.

“Kindness?” she echoed, and the med-tech found she was having some manner of success as she actually looked around that time, awaiting her explanation.

“Someone who puts others before herself,” she carried on. “Who gives people the benefit of the doubt, who doesn’t judge, who always tries her best, even sometimes to her own detriment.” That was something Helen often did… with the resonance engine, in Salzburg… Before the blonde had the opportunity to respond, she carried on, fixing her eyes forward. “Intelligence. I like that. Someone who is sharp and witty and who I can turn to for advice, who surprises me with her insight and talks rings around me when she wants to. Someone who I am in awe of,” she continued, speaking with no-one but her best friend in mind.

“Good luck finding-” the linguist scoffed but Liv spoke over her, undeterred.

“I like someone who is curious about the universe and passionate about the things she believes in. Who doesn’t shy away from doing the right thing, even when it’s hard. Someone I can trust with my darkest secrets and who loves me in spite of them.” Carried by a wave of determination, she stepped into Helen’s way, turning to face her and to make sure she was listening, even as her voice grew shaky. She hadn’t expected herself to turn emotional but she was. “Someone who I can be vulnerable with and don’t have to act strong all the time. Someone who is my best friend as well as my lover and truly understands me,” her voice broke a little but she met her friend’s eyes anyway, hoping - stupidly - that she would understand. “And the fact that she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on is just the cherry on top.”

“Liv-” Helen whispered, overcome. Tears had long since sprung to her eyes and the look in her eyes left no doubt that she knew exactly what she was saying. It made the med-tech’s heart race, anxiety crawling up her back but she tried to hold firm. For Helen. If nothing else, she needed her to understand how wonderful she thought her, and how much she meant to her.

“And if she doesn’t feel the same way about me, that’s also fine because I’m just happy to have her in my life,” she concluded, hoping to limit some of the damage her words had the potential to do. “If I can’t have her heart I will settle for her friendship and still call myself the luckiest woman in the universe for being allowed to share my life with her.”

Helen dragged her hand across her cheek, trying to catch her tears but failing. She gave a little sniffle as she dropped her eyes, self-conscious and insecure. Liv’s heart ached for her and she took the fact that she hadn’t run away yet as encouraging. The only way forward was facing things head on now.

“You wouldn’t happen to know someone like that, would you?” she asked softly and the linguist gave a heart-breaking little sob as she shook her head.

“I-I think you’re wrong…” she whispered, her voice thick with tears and Liv’s heart sank. She had miscalculated.

“Right…” she mumbled, her shoulders drooping in defeat but then, Helen continued in a shaky whisper.

“You wouldn’t be the luckiest woman in the universe… that would be whoever has the privilege of calling you their own…” she breathed, desperately trying to stop her tears from falling. “And if that was me… oh Liv--” She shook her head to herself in a disbelieving manner, touching her fingers to her trembling lips as she squeezed her eyes shut for a moment.

Carefully, hopefully, and with her heart thundering in her chest, the med-tech reached out for her hand, moving it away from her face and tugging it towards her.

“I wish it was…” she gave back, offering a heartfelt, emotional smile as her friend’s eyes blinked open again, looking at her in wonder. Gently Liv leaned forward, pressing a tender, chaste but lingering kiss to her lips.

Helen drew a sharp breath of surprise, standing motionless for a moment and her friend waited, hopeful yet terrified until she responded with a slow, soft kiss of her own. It was blissful and new and wiped away all the doubt and pain that had come before.

In the end, the linguist pulled back far too soon for Liv’s liking, but she knew she shouldn’t rush her. She simply offered her a soft, encouraging and patient smile.

“Are you sure?” Helen asked in a wobbly voice, her insecurity far from gone but now that they had made a first step, the med-tech knew what to do. She would make her feel like the most important, most treasured woman on the planet, not letting up until she believed how precious she was to her.

“How about you let me buy you coffee and a cake?” she suggested softly, raising her hand to her lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. It was a tender gesture and the expression that filled her friend’s face was enough to make her melt. She looked so surprised, so moved, so disbelieving that this tenderness was meant for her and it only made the med-tech want to give her more, anything, everything she could possibly desire. She would lay the world at her feet if she could and the simple fact that Helen, sweet, unassuming, insecure Helen, didn’t think herself worthy of it made her all the more determined to prove it to her.

“Like a date?” the linguist whispered, as though she didn’t trust herself to speak up for fear her voice might break once more.

“If you’d do me that honour…” Liv smiled, reached for her cheek to brush away her tears as best as she could.

“Nothing would make me happier…” Helen answered tearfully, dragging her sleeve across her eyes and Liv intertwined their fingers as she chuckled.

“Shame…”

“What?” the linguist’s head snapped up, colour draining from her cheeks but the med-tech elaborated quickly.

“Shame we didn’t have that conversation sooner… could have had it for free,” she grinned and while Helen looked instantly relieved that she hadn’t changed her mind, her expression quickly turned to a scowl.

“Liv!” She gave her arm a playful slap for having tricked her so and Liv laughed, wrapping her arms around her in a tight embrace. She would never let her doubt again.

#doctor who #fanfiction #liv chenka #helen sinclair #big finish #femslash #liv x helen #fluff #feelings realisation

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knifedog · 1 month

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beloved dog cost me $700 this morning.. she needed vaccine updates and she's going to need some dental. so we ordered some blood work and got her the tick/flea/heart worm meds that will last a year.

she was very very good she did do a lot of yelling but settled enough to get her heart listened to. when she was taken to the back for blood drawn we could hear her "im actually done now leave me alone" yell (she was fine for blood draw, she just hated them holding her arm to stop the bleeding lmao)

I'm always amazed and impressed with how well she bounces back from these stressful situations. The vet gave us back to her, went and grabbed a cookie and she immediately went up to him and sat nicely for him. even when we paid she poked her head around to see him in case he had cookies!

she can be awful but I do feel spoiled that she can handle stuff like this. and don't worry she got paid at home too

#and! she didnt piss in the clinic lmao #we got there early so i walked her a bit and made sure she was 100% empty #love our vet he's so so good he was laughing when she sat for him

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songbirdstew · 6 months

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This is just a cat complaint blog

Glitch is a hunter. She eats everything she kills. Because we don't want her killing birds, we keep her inside now. Because she eats actual vermin, we give her a preventive worming pill. (She's called Glitch because she's full of bugs.) She used to be THE BEST GIRL at taking her pill. I wrapped it in a pill pocket and she would gulp it down and ask for more pill pockets. That worked the first three times. Now she refuses to have anything to do with the pill and nothing I try is working. Fuck yo pill pocket. Fuck yo fish paste. Fuck yo wet food. We do have a pill plunger, but I was hoping to avoid it, thinking it might make things harder in the long run, but at this point, I think it's our only option.

(And if you're wondering, Does she really need the pill if she's an indoor cat now? Reader, every time I think the same thing, she comes trotting down the hall, tail waving like a flag, with a fucking rodent screaming in terror in her mouth. I'm glad she disposes of them so that I don't have to [make Curtis do it], but it does have its own set of complications. And yes she gets flea meds, too.)

A few weeks ago she came down with a bout of cystitis. So we've had to spend a couple weeks giving her pain meds, switch to a different litter, switch to wet food. Thankfully she likes the fancy litter and she took to it immediately & stopped peeing on the couch. Both girls are picky about the wet food they get (bitch, you eat mummified shrews, the fuck you on about. Eat your goddamn pate.) She's doing much better now. But between the lack of infection and her ever-present bald patch, the vet said it's clear she's suffering ongoing anxiety. She recommended trying other things before resorting to Prozac, but also was realistic about it maybe being impossible to actually figure out what all the problems are and how to address all of them.

She's adjusted well to being indoors, as long as she can look out the front screen door. As soon as it got too cold to leave the front door open, she started panicking. We made space for her to look out the picture window, but she like. Has no self esteem. And she thinks she can't jump that high. Reader, she can. It took her a while to learn how to jump, and she seems scared of heights, but she recently figured out how to get up on the bathroom counter, and the shelf by the window is the exact same height. She got as close as putting her front paws on the middle shelf and crying once. Curtis brought in a speaker cabinet that's exactly half the height of the top shelf, so now she has a booster step. It took a few days, but I finally saw her hop on the booster and then onto the shelf to look out the window. ... It was night.

She's up there right now, but she's sitting the wrong way.

Turn around, ya dingus:

We know a huge source of her stress is Charlie. We think Glitch would love to be friends with Charlie, but Charlie Hates Everyone, especially Glitch. We do have pheromone diffusers, and they do really help. Vet said in her personal experience, the collars do not help that much, especially if your cats already hate wearing a collar. We got them some Composure treats, and those also seem to help. Unfortunately, they made Charlie bold enough to come into the kitchen specifically to steal Glitch's food. 🫠 Which is not helpful when Glitch is snubbing her food bc there's tapeworm medicine in it. 🫠🫠🫠

During her cystitis, we let her outside supervised a few times. It seemed comforting for her to go potty outside in the dirt again, and to eat a bunch of grass. I have a couple starters of oat grass and catnip seeds going now, so they can both have fresh greens indoors. The wheat just sprouted. I might have to start over with the catnip.

If anyone else needs a suggestion on giving their anxious cat a busy toy, I scattered some of Glitch's favorite treats into the bottom half of an egg carton. The cups are just deep and narrow enough that she doesn't want to eat right out of it, so she has to figure out other ways to get the treats out. It's lightweight enough that she can bat it around and pick it up and fling it over and over. If the treats go flying, she gets to hunt them down. I can tell she thinks I'm EXTREMELY RUDE to do this to her, but it keeps her occupied for a good 20 minutes, and she gets treats.

TL;DR cats are terrible don't get one

Or. Only get one. Don't get two.

#I have adopted zero cats #two cats have adopted us #I'VE BEEN HAD

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quickitches · 4 months

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Woman Vs. Nature

Warm light from the LED lantern bathed the interior of the tent. The rain tapped out a rhythmic tune on the tarp.

Victoria felt anything but coziness here. How had she let Nicky talk her into this? She gave an inaudible sigh watching her friend fiddle with a length of paracord.

Victoria snuck her hand around her back, lifted her shirt a tiny bit and scratched herself on the waist, just above the belt. The fingernails felt like heaven. She quickly stopped. Can't let Nicky figure it out.

Everything itched. Everything. But worst of all was her back and her butt. It felt as if the forest itself had decided to play a prank on Vicky and dumped a bucket of itching powder down her neck during today's hike. Hell, it was probably exactly that. Pollen. Too bad Victoria hadn't packed any anti-allergy meds.

"You alright?" said Nicky and looked up from the practice knot she'd just made. "…Yeah?" said Victoria. She sat on her knees, her hands gripping one another hard. "Cause you're squirmy." Nicky left the colorful cord down and crawled toward Vic on all fours.

The image of Nicky using those knot skills to immobilize her flashed through Victoria's mind. What the hell? She'd never thought of her friend like that, why now? But her subconscious was already running away with it. Victoria, itchy mess, bound in paracord, begging, BEGGING Nicky to scratch her. She closed her eyes and tried to think of something else. Anything else. It didn't work.

"Where does it itch?"

Nicky's voice snapped Victoria out of it. Her eyes opened, hands still clasped.

"Itch…? I'm not itchy?" "Oh yes you are. You've got bugbites. They're not from mosquitoes or gnats or midges so I assume they're under your clothes too. Plus you've been fidgeting all evening."

Nicky poked at Victoria's exposed skin. First her neck, then her upper arm. Nicky pulled down on Vic's neckline a little. It sent Victoria's heart racing and she bit her lip.

Nicky turned around to get her guidebook. For Victoria, the floodgates opened. She shoved each of her hands under her shirt. Left hand dug into her belly, right one up the middle of her back. She whimpered at the flurry of fingers chasing after her inflamed skin. She could barely take it anymore. Victoria pulled her shirt off and tossed it on the tent floor.

"Oh yeah, that's pretty bad." Nicky said and sat herself down beside her friend. There were tens of the bites, covering Vic from her neck to her waistline - and most likely under the pants, too.

Nicky scratched Victoria on her upper back as she thumbed through that camping manual. Next time, Nicky thought to herself, I'm giving this girl a lecture on hiking gear. Victoria hadn't gotten the right clothes - and she stank. Nicky inhaled the scent. It was strangely nice.

"Aha!" Nicky said and put the little book down in Vicky's lap. The glossy page on the left hand side had a few photos of bugbites just like the ones covering Victoria. Nicky poked at one of them, brown skin tone matching Victoria's own. "You've got fleas! Hedgehog fleas, to be precise." "Fleas?! I can't have fleas, I…" "Shhh." Nicky hugged Victoria from behind. She pressed her fingernails into the soft skin of Vic's flabby belly, slowly dragging them upwards. "If it helps, the bites only last for two days." "Two days…" "Oh don't be such a baby. Besides. I'll help with all your little itches. Even those ones." "What are you talking about, Nicolette?" "I see the way you look at me, Victoria, don't play coy. And I know an indoor girl like you would never agree to a week-long hiking trip without a good reason for it. The reason is me, isn't it?"

Nicky undid the clasp of Vic's belt. She pulled the zipper down, slowly, slowly. All the while she scratched Vic just below her bellybutton. Victoria whimpered.

"Tomorrow, we are gonna wash ourselves in the lake. God knows we'll need it after tonight." Vic's voice cracked as she pushed the words out. She moved her hand away from her flea-bitten breast. Victoria turned her head, held Nicky by her chin.

"Vic, what are you-" Nicky did not finish her question. Victoria locked lips with her. She moved to straddle Nicky, slowly pushing her down onto her back. Vic started to stroke all over Nicky's body, only interrupting to claw at her itching body.

Nicky pulled down at Vic's pants when she felt it. It was like a little pinprick. A flea had bitten her, just above the collarbone. More followed, all over her torso. Worth it. And they only lasted two days, didn't they…?

#itching #itch kink #itching kink #fleas

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stevishabitat · 6 months

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Long rant/emotional vomit incoming….

Where to start?

In August, our neighbors moved out and left their outdoor cat, Franklin behind. We'd gotten him neutered last year during the big TNR project, so he'd retired from both the kitten factory and the tom cat fight club. So he was left kind of hanging around at loose ends.

Franklin in his previous outdoor life

He'd come to the porch for dinner with the ferals, but we could tell he wasn't super healthy, and when we had a heatwave in the 100°F range, and saw him looking like melted cat on the hot pavement, we just couldn't stand it anymore. Clearly they weren't coming back for him, and no one else was taking care of him. So we brought him inside.

This brings our indoor crowd to six. Four adults and two kittens (all courtesy of the same neighbors who had a constant stream of kittens that they would raise and then put outdoors to fend for themselves - we are not regretting their departure from the neighborhood).

The Crew at Feeding Time

So Franklin actually adjusted really quickly to full-time indoor life. But he came with a bunch of hitchhikers. Ear mites, fleas, and tapeworm for certain. I tried OTC treatments at home, but wasn't making progress, and Franklin clearly also suffered from flea allergies and secondary ear infections and skin infections from the mites.

So off to the vet we went.

He had two different bacterial infections in his ears (the tech that read the ear swab slides said "beyond reality"), so he got a full-spectrum antibiotic shot, twice-daily ear mite treatment, and I ended up with a Revolution Plus prescription and tapeworm meds for all six cats, to break the parasite cycle.

Franklin at vet visit #1

I'm hoping we're on the upward swing of things, although Franklin still has raw patches from the flea allergies that he licks compulsively. I've used an OTC cortisone spray for him, but he may need a more systemic approach. Meaning either a shot or prescription. Another trip to the vet is in the works.

Frankie being just the Sweetest

Little man, Henry, still needs to be neutered and he's going on six months old, so I can't put it off much longer. Three of the others need annual vaccinations. The plan was to do one vet visit per month, if I can swing that financially, but that's looking more difficult than I hoped.

The Babies: Henry and Patches

We are also fighting a losing battle to keep our water heater running. It was damaged by the flood last July, but we've kept it limping along for a whole year. We've now been without hot water since the beginning of September.

My grandma (who owns the house, but is currently living with another relative) is still hesitant to invest in a new water heater. It will take all of us (me, my parents, and grandma) to jointly pay for it. So without her go-ahead, we're kind of in limbo. There are a couple more parts we can try replacing before we're certain it's unfixable. But my dad doesn't want to pay a plumber, he wants to do those himself.

I bought a tankless point-of-use water heater so we can at least put together a temporary shower and sink in the basement.

But getting that installed and set up has been more difficult and costly than expected (needing extra adapters and fixtures to connect to old plumbing) and although my dad is doing the work when he can, he's also working part-time and can barely walk most days. He can really only do at-home projects once a week at most, and some weeks he just doesn't have the time or physical capacity.

My pharmacy, insurance, and neurologist can't seem to connect the dots to get my Aimovig refilled, so I'm now more than a month without a migraine preventative and I'm running out of rescue meds.

I had been paying someone to help around the house for an hour twice a month, but I really can't afford it. But without the help, and without migraine meds, and with cats that are still having digestive issues from the worms, and fleas still hatching out and infesting the house... It's a hot mess.

Can you believe this service exists???

Anyway, we're floundering.

Physically, financially, mentally, emotionally... It's draining.

Anyway, I basically ended up maxing out my credit card on all of this chaos. And this is the time of year that work slows down and overtime dries up.

I wasted so much money on things that didn't fix the fleas, or Franklin's illnesses, or the water heater, or my migraines... or... or....

So much money on meal replacement shakes because I'm too nauseated to eat, and delivery for kiddo because I don't have the energy to cook.

Bought a bunch of rinse-free body cleansers and shampoos so we can try to maintain self-care and hygiene without hot water. Got that tankless water heater and a shower tent and floor mat hoping to make kiddo more comfortable with showering somewhere other than the bathroom (they're still very much against the idea).

The payment for kiddo's therapy bounced this week, and my biweekly paycheck can't cover that and the credit card payment. So it will probably bounce next week too. I think after two non-payments we have to give up our time slot. Therapy is so important for kiddo's mental health. I have to find a way to keep up with that if nothing else.

Kiddo is absolutely at max capacity for demands and just can't help at all, can't even do basic self-care, clean up after themselves, or help with the cats like they used to. The state of the house is stressing them out, and they want more connection with me and Grandmummy, that we don't have the time or spoons to give.

Kiddo, Jack and Henry

My mom has also been without her meds for several weeks, and honestly, she's been in an autoimmune flare for most of this year. I think all the physical work from the flood, plus the mold, and a case of covid in the last year really messed her up.

My dad going back to work (which was financially necessary) means he's physically unable to do things at home, and time wise he's not able to pick my sister-in-law up from work, or take grandma to doctors appointments - so all of that is on my mom now. So she's less able to spend time with kiddo - leaving me as sole caregiver most of the time, including when I'm working from home.

My car is still dead from the flood, and the vehicle I share with my parents has multiple issues. So I get groceries and necessary supplies delivered and only do errands on the day I take kiddo to therapy. That's about as much as I can physically do anyway.

That one time we thought the car was driveable (we were very wrong)

I was supposed to meet my (long-distance) girlfriend for renaissance festival this weekend, but I don't have gas money and her car is in the shop getting necessary brake repairs. It's our twice a year getaway without kids, and I think we're going to miss it.

RenFaire in the Spring

I'm really just venting because I don't have anyone to talk to who isn't also in the thick of it with me.

I think a lot of my mutuals will understand all of this. So if you're in a mess like this, know that it's not just you. You aren't a failure.

We're all doing the best we can, and sometimes no matter what you do, the best still looks like a disaster.

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getstickbugdlol · 9 months

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a summary of the Not Breaking Up saga

bf was supposed to move in with me at the end of this month, this has been the plan for a long time and it was his idea and we've been working towards it for like probably a year and a half at this point. we got a cat together last october with the anticipation he'd move in in august

he graduated law school last year and recently had to take the bar for the third time, he's come very close to passing each time but hasn't quite gotten there and he said this is the final time he'll take it. his postdoc job finishes next wednesday and he has struggled to apply for jobs in the meantime, bc his mom is a Girlboss who does everything for him and he got rejected from a job and freaked out

i was visiting friends in arizona last week and bf was catsitting. the cat we adopted is FIV+/special needs plus he has a food obsession so he has a specialty diet and schedule, he needs supplements. before i left arizona i asked bf to get more dry food and he said he would. i reminded him when i was in arizona and he said he would. i was like ok i'm going to leave it at that. mind you i was gone for over a week, so a weekend passed while i was gone. i came home straight off a redeye flight and had to go to urgent care because i have some sort of UTI/bladder infection, and i got home to find that not only had he STILL not gotten the dry food (although i knew for a fact all he did on one of the days he was here was play video games), the litter boxes hadn't been cleaned for several days, hobgoblin hadn't gotten his supplements, nobody had been given their flea/tick meds or hairball meds, there was extra trash piled up, he had not done the dishes he'd used, my garbage and recyling were full of empty alcohol containers, and all my toilet paper was gone. i called him pretty upset about that and he doubled down he didn't do anything wrong and all of a sudden goes "i don't think it's a good idea for us to move in together" and i was like wtf you know i love you and i want to make this work. i went over to his house tuesday night and he said he had concerns about our long term compatibility and i was so caught off guard because we already had this fight last year about staying in nyc vs going and i thought we got through it. he said it's difficult for him to communicate but he was afraid moving in together would lead us to resent each other and he wasn't sure about it. i left in obvious tears and got so angry because i was like oh my god, you're the one who has had your foot on the commitment gas pedal this whole time, to dip now is sooooo shitty and hurtful. i was like you know we don't have to live together, and we haven't lived together so we don't know that's going to happen and he said he was afraid every time the apartment got messy he'd get blamed...i went home in tears and freaked out and posted everywhere and called him and said i have been so brave in this relationship, and i think you are being terrible and cowardly right now. he was supposed to cat sit again next week but i called my mom in so he could come get his stuff from her instead of me.

at emergency therapy the next day my therapist was like woah this is very fast to go straight to break up, get your mom in here (who does not have great boundaries about my relationships), come get your stuff. this is a big decision, and considering both of us are autistic, it makes sense we might have communication breakdowns sometimes, but he might need a little more time to process things. why go straight to break up, it's going to be painful either way. and i was like damn it sonia i hate it when you're right but i called him and basically said i love you and i don't want to break up but i don't want to pressure you to be in a relationship you don't want to be in. but i'm sorry i was cruel and if you need some time to think then take it. he said he loves me too and he was still processing but we'd talk the following night.

so yesterday in the morning he told me he woke up really clear headad and wanted to talk after work and last night we talked and he said that me calling him a coward made him think, and he is really scared about the future and lashed out at me and pinned his worries on our relationship because he was feeling pressure about moving in, but he loves me so much and these have been the happiest three years of his life and he'd be so stupid to let it go over fear. i was like dude i am scared every single day of my life! the future changes ALL THE TIME, but we have to decide we want to be together and be scared together. he stood by me in MY time of crisis, and it's my turn now and it's ok to need me, and to tell me he's scared and to ask for help and if he needs time, then that's ok, we don't need to go through everything right away. he said he knows that and he appreciates it, he's never had to be the brave one before and he's freaking out. i know exactly where he is right now emotionally because i was there one year ago, and we can do this together. so we Set the Intention to work on things. i said the cats ARE a problem, they HAVE to be taken care of properly and we will talk about it, and we will see a couples counselor and cool it on moving in for a bit, and he needs to figure the communication out because i can't do this again. it's natural to lash out at the people closest to you, but i can't have my heart and future just be collateral damage. but for right now let's just remember that we have something really special, and that we like each other and we have fun together. so tonight i'm going over to his house again and we will have a loooooong conversation about where to go from here.

my body is still in a lot of shock and pain, but my boss was really understanding, and so many people rallied around me in support. also like 5 separate people were like "nah this is a fight not a breakup" so clown hours for me. i'm definitely still tender, but i think this is the best possible outcome. bf and i have a really wonderful relationship with a lot of mutual respect and genuine enjoyment. i feel very freed and uplifted by it about 98% of the time until fights like this happen so i hope that he is able to work on this. he seems committed but saying it and doing it are two different things. i'm just deciding to trust him on it

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the-trans-dragon · 1 year

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!!!!!! 🥰🥰🥰 I think my cat Daisy finally doesn’t have fleas!!! It’s been so long, oh my god.

I’m so happy I finally found a flea medicine that worked!!! (It was PetArmor, and I am suggesting it, which means it was really good, because I do not like to advertise for capitalism lol.)

She just got her third monthly dose about a week ago, so there’s potentially still some unhatched fleas, thanks to their awful 90 day life cycle, but it’s been days since I’ve seen one!

I was getting worried that the local strays were managing to get fleas into the house, but I really think the problem is solved! I might keep treating her for fleas forever though, because this neighborhood just has fleas, and because those goddamn goofy bugs dislodged some O-rings in the plumbing before I learned “do not rinse fleas down the sink, they will find their way back, even if you close the drain. They will forge their own path, right under the O-rings.”

I got out the Good Brush for daisy finally! It’s really hard to get the fur out of it, so I haven’t been using it while she has fleas (I’ve been using a flea brush, so I can grab the fleas and dispose of them as I find them). She really likes the big brush! 🥰🥰🥰🥰 I kinda just held it while she walked back and forth and brushed herself from cheek to tail, over and over, before it was too much sensory and she decided to bite bite kill the brush :3 I always let her attack the brush when she’s had enough. It is a very acceptable alternative to biting me lol.

I’m so happy!! Meow meow meow meow!!!! Kitty is better!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰 I fixed it!!!! I finally found a way to fix it!!! I’m so happy for her!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰

I have learned some valuable data regarding pests and the food web and the magnificent capacity of fleas to reroute nutrition from the top of the food chain to the bottom of the food chain!! I don’t want to learn any more through this experience, the experience is over, I’ll keep brushing her for fleas and using flea meds forever if I have to, as long as she doesn’t become host to a very large flea population again!!

#sorenhoots #daisycat

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forlornmelody · 1 year

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Today's List of Nice Things:

Finally had the strength to finish Venemo. I was crying ugly tears. It's a beautiful series, but also very very sad. All the trigger warnings for this one, folks.

Went to two work functions for the night job. Had a lot of fun.

Got my cat's monthly flea meds in, even though I fucked up the first time.

Rose Wilson in Superboy is the only New52! Rose that matters. Aside from her appearance in RHATO. All her other appearances in that continuity are dead to me.

#who is forlornmelody #brain hygiene

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greypentachoron · 9 months

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The thing about having sheltered over 300 cats and living with 13 of them is that CLEARLY some cats are neurodivergent but like... Not in a human way.

Cats overall have behaviors that can be similar to human autism, but that's common for their species. We have to pick the overall cat behavior and consider outliers to think about neurodivergent cats.

And I'm not talking about depression, anxiety or PTSD related to trauma, those are basically obvious when you foster a cat with a difficult past, I'm talking behaviors that even in a healthy environment they just Are That Way. I'm gonna add a break down here if you wanna hear more about my experiences, and I welcome anyone who have cats (or any other pet, really) with neurodivergent behaviors to share their experiences too because this is fascinating for me.

I'm gonna start with my first case of "huh. This cat is... Not what I expect." I sadly don't have pictures of him anymore, but I promise the next ones will have pictures as payment for a long post.

Paçoca was found inside a dumpster barrel as young as 2 weeks old. Back then I was fostering a momma cat who had just given birth, and when I introduced him to her she decided "yep, long lost baby. Come on in"

Other than having enough fleas to drain him in a day he was healthy and full of energy. I dewormed him, gave him flea meds and he was fed and taken care of, but he didn't... Know how to socialise with other cats. His adoptive siblings were around his age, they tried playing, but the little dude was just confused by the whole thing and usually ran to hide from them. He meowed loudly towards every cat, those throaty meows cats usually do during heat even before his sexual maturity (and he was spayed very early on).

We checked his ears and eyes and he was fully healthy. He showed happiness by wagging his tail like a dog, and loved to play tag like one even though he never interacted with a dog ever. When he tried to interact with other cats when he felt secure enough, most of them interpreted his mannerisms like a threat because of the throaty meows, the intense stare, wagging tail and running after them. He was never trying to attack, mind you, when he got near his newest cat fascination he tried licking, headbutting, grooming... I am not sure how his life was before he was 2 weeks old, but he had most of his major kitten sociability milestones around a healthy mom and siblings. He was just a weird lil dude I guess.

This little lady is Pompom. She came after Paçoca, but I haven't figured out cat behaviors back then and she was the most striking. She's very aggressively set in routines, cats usually are but it physically pains her to leave her routines. When I lived in my older house she would go to the kitchen window to greet my neighbour everytime he came from work. She hisses and growls at the doorbell because she knows it's something different. When I changed her eating behaviors after she got healthy she would not eat and I had to keep doing the same exact steps for a long while and reducing the "tradition" bit by bit until she was comfortable.

Let me elaborate on that. When she had liver issues I gave all the cats their food while she waited patiently even though she hated the fancy food she was eating, I filled her bowl on the kitchen counter, called her name, we walked towards my bedroom, I closed the door and let the good down. Everyday, three times a day. It took me six months to ease her into the new routine, took me over a year to ease her OUT of the routine. She would not eat if the steps were wrong, she starved herself. Sometimes she was making progress and then remembered her routine and "nope, I don't think I will eat with the door open today"

Starting a new job and moving houses was (and still is, as far as I'm seeing) a terrible experience to her. She became EXTREMELY dependent and desperate for attention. She sleeps on my arms like a baby after these changes, won't eat if me or my mom are not around and she hisses and hates other cats in her personal space. She became extremely antisocial with other cats after my life changed and, sadly, even with a vet accompanying her about her behaviors, nothing changed. She's now a very lonely cat when she was very social, but I'm letting my other cats around her more often bit by bit to open her up to her cat social life again.

I'd like to just add "that's Pirate, he's a baby, next" but you wouldn't understand how much neurodivergent this cat is.

Pirate Does Not Understand he's not a kitten. He has the manners of a kitten and he's been living with me for two years already. He was at least 5 months old when I rescued him and he lived with a small gang of strays. Zero self protection, no social cues, nothing.

This cat was rescued because he and his gang were stealing food from the kitchens of TWO local restaurants, people were throwing beer (drink AND bottles) on them, and I heard the neighbours talk about poisoning food to leave for them. The gang was easier, I just had to move them from the streets to our colony where they get cat food three times a day, but Pirate has this funny defense mechanism... When he feels threatened he SCREAMS. Also he kept trying to eat trash bags, but the screams are a menace.

Rain? He stands there, in the rain, and yells. Car noise? Stands and yells. Cat approaching? Yell. He doesn't move, and more than once I had to run during the rainy season to search for this silly little cat who was arms deep on a puddle yelling because woe is me. I was drenched like I just went swimming wearing clothes. He's a disaster.

And, as I said, he's a Baby. He sees other cats and he wants to play like a kitten, he wants to be groomed. He doesn't partake in the give-and-take of adult cat behavior because he Is A Baby. He meows on every cat's face begging for grooming like a tiny little kitten. He tries cuddling with other cats and knows no boundaries of personal space with other cats. He just wants to cuddle, nuzzle, pile on top, if you've seen a kitten with an adult cat, that's him.

And the last one is Rosemary. First of all he's afraid of wet food. Deadly afraid, sees wet food and runs away so quickly he slides on the floor. I've never. Ever. Saw anything similar. I know cats that don't care about it, but he FLEES. He and his mom are with me since his birth. No trauma on this little head. I tried many brands, tried many recipes of homemade wet food, and he is TERRIFIED of it. If there's no dry food he won't eat. He also does chirping noises instead of meowing to cats, and I know he can meow because he meows to me. The chirping seems to be an uncomfortable warning, a "leave me alone", and he is very nonconfrontational with other cats unless there's bullying. He WILL attack the bully to defend the other cat.

Any other social cues related to cat behaviors? None. Nada. He grooms himself and me when I pet him, but he is scared of others grooming him, and is afraid of his own cat mom. My cats are not aggressive or territorial with each other, so I'm not sure where this fear comes from. He also wags his tail to show happiness even though he never met Paçoca, full wag and not point of the tail flickering, so I'm not sure what to make out of it. I don't have much to say about him, but honestly he's a weird and finicky little dude. It's almost as if he's a little alien who tried to get cat behavior right but everything is kind of off.

Everything the other cats do is confusing, cat weed is terrifying, he doesn't like drinking water from bowls but he is confused how sinks and fountains work, plants are weird--- I see him struggle with normal concepts for cats and I'm not sure why, but my cat son needs more time to process than other cats. I've interacted with enough of them to realise he's a little different, but that's fine!

And that's all I remember for now. Again, if you like please reblog with your own "my pet is probably neurodivergent" stories. I'd love to hear all about it <3

And that's feeding time missing only 3 of them, Lynx eats by the living room table, Pompom eats in the bedroom and Maia is starting to accompany her to see if I can socialise Pompom back after the move!

#hyperfixation #cat #neurodivergent #pets

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