#i guess that's what happens when 1) i don't write on tumblr 2) i'm not under any pressure

[waldau]

insecure — kim mingyu | 2,146 words | fluff, hurt/comfort

milm (man i love mingyu). short haired mingyu is so fucking hot. also, i will gladly spread the mingyu passenger princess agenda.

gender neutral reader. warnings: alcohol.

mingyu doesn't know what exactly he's feeling at the moment. his emotions range from tiredness due to how late in the night it is, to amusement as he half-registers the movie playing on the television, to his heart feeling like it's being crushed and released over and over again.

vernon, in his drunken state, made a quip about you and wonwoo making out years ago.

that has to be a joke, right? you've always said said you've never liked wonwoo that way, and mingyu knows you'd never lie to him. so why does it feel like he's waiting for something bad when he sees your text informing him you're on your way to pick him up from his place to spend a night at yours?

he himself had asked for it earlier in the day, happy when you said you'd love to have him over for the night. but given the stuff that's come up hardly an hour ago, he doesn't know if he wants to see you.

of course he does. but he's worried that he's going to say something stupid to you.

the doorbell ringing shakes him out of his thoughts. wonwoo beats him to opening the door. you're standing in one of mingyu's own hoodies, spinning your car keys in your hand, and the thought warms him up a bit. he's still not used to seeing you in his clothes.

you greet wonwoo and he moves aside to let you in. your eyes light up immediately when you spot mingyu. he raises his arms up to let you hug him from behind.

"feeling cold?" you ask, kissing his head, which is covered with a beanie. he kind of wishes you'd kissed his forehead instead.

"a bit, yeah," he says, not untruthfully. but the cold is not the only reason he has a beanie on. he brings your hand to his mouth to press a quick kiss. as much as he loves you, he's had enough of being teased by the boys for a day. he'd much rather save the real kisses for when you get out of here.

"no greetings for us?" seungcheol asks, taking a sip of his drink.

you smile and say hi to him and vernon. "sorry, guys. i've spent all day away from gyu. you have no idea how terrible it is."

"we've spent all day with him, and we kind of have an idea of how terrible it is," vernon says with a cheeky smile.

"hey," mingyu says, no real annoyance in his voice. you laugh, your hand resting on mingyu's shoulder.

"i'll be more than glad to take him off your hands. let's go, gyu?" you ask.

mingyu nods and pushes himself off the sofa, bidding the other guys goodnight.

you shiver when you step out of the building and walk towards your car. mingyu notices and takes your hand in his, putting it in the pocket of his own hoodie. he knows it doesn't help much, especially when your other hand must also be freezing, but the smile you give him is worth it. he lets go of your hand when you get to the car so you can settle down in your respective seats.

"so, how was your day?" you ask, putting the key in its slot. he can smell takeout from the backseat and his heart does a little flip. just a few years ago, he wouldn't have imagined he'd be sharing a life with someone like this, treasuring late night dinners with someone in a car. and he'd never imagined that someone would be you.

he's glad you're here, even though he knows you're always there for him. it's been an uphill journey getting himself to believe that you really do love him, because there are days like this when he doubts half of everything he knows.

"fine," he says, unzipping his hoodie. the inside of your car is warm enough for him to feel a bit better.

"that's not how you speak if your day went well," you say, reaching over to lay a hand on his thigh.

of course you know him too well. "the shoot began at seven in the morning," he says, leaning back against his seat to relax himself. "and then woozi wanted us to give some input on some lyrics he'd written before we wrapped up for the day. then wonwoo invited everyone home for a dinner party, but the only guys who stuck around were us four, because seungcheol had some ideas for the new choreography."

"aw," you say. "you wanted to leave earlier?"

"yeah. it's better with you here."

when you don't say anything, he looks at you, only to find you looking at him...sadly? confusedly? "not that i'm looking for trouble," you say, taking your hand back from his thigh, "but did i do something?"

of course not. you haven't done anything. even if you did, it's in the past. but the mere possibility that you did it...

"you hooked up with wonwoo."

you blink once. then twice. "what?"

that's an insane accusation to make out of context. so what if vernon said what he said? he was pretty drunk already. "um. i...vernon..."

you sigh. "did he say wonwoo wouldn't shut up about it for a while?"

so it did happen. mingyu nods, a bit numb. time and again his friends have teased you with wonwoo because his roommate is your boyfriend and his best friend, and time and again you've shown that you've only ever wanted mingyu. so why—

"did you...settle for me?" the words sound pathetic, even to himself. but it doesn't make sense otherwise. why would you give up a relationship with wonwoo? his standards for dating are so high, and mingyu often conspires with his friends to get his roommate to go on dates, only to no avail. wonwoo's quite content, being by himself.

you turn in your seat however much you can and look at him. your lips are pressed together in an unhappy line and mingyu hates that he's the reason you look this way.

"is that what you think i did?" you ask, folding your hands in your lap. "that i settled for you?"

"no," mingyu says, and knows he means it entirely. he knows you love him. a lot. but some days the question creeps up out of nowhere and doesn't let go for hours on end.

"then why would you think i did that?"

mingyu shrugs. what was the deal with wonwoo, he wants to ask.

you sigh and reach forward to hold his thigh again. this time, he doesn't let your hand escape, trapping your colder hand in place with his warm one.

"it's true," you say slowly. "i hooked up with wonwoo."

mingyu lets out a shaky breath. "why didn't you ever tell me that?"

"does it change anything between us?"

like hell it would. mingyu would kick himself if that ever happened. he stares at his hand on yours. "no," he says reluctantly. "unless you have feelings for him— i know you don't, baby. but still."

you reach for his hand with your other one, trapping it like a sandwich. an idiot sandwich, he thinks, the thought bringing a small smile to his face.

"when i say we hooked up, we just kissed. a whole lot. but it was only ever that."

mingyu looks up at that. you're serious, he realizes. "just...kissing?"

"yeah. we knew it'd go nowhere. it was a mistake."

a mistake? "when...did this happen?"

"remember that party your friend baekho threw? wonwoo invited me to it."

mingyu doesn't remember the specifics, but he knows you'd been invited by wonwoo because he'd wanted the whole group to meet his old friend from college. mingyu had taken one look at you and realized he really liked you. it wasn't like wonwoo to have a ton of friends that weren't from the band, so he'd immediately taken a shine to you.

you take your hands away from his and he immediately misses them, even though they're cold. "it was supposed to be you," you say, voice small.

"what?"

"the person i kissed. it was supposed to be you."

"what?" he knows he sounds like a broken record.

you let out a small, embarrassed noise. "wonwoo said he'd try to get you alone in a room so i could confess and see what happened. but because we both ended up being drunk by the end of the night, he mistook me for some girl and i mistook him for you and we kissed."

mingyu gapes at you. you're a very graceful drunk, leagues ahead of him, but kissing someone thinking they're someone else?

"shut up," you murmur. "if i'd known it was wonwoo i'd have backed off right away."

mingyu lets out a laugh, his heart feeling so much lighter. to think you'd been kissing wonwoo thinking it was mingyu makes him feel giddy. he likes knowing you've probably been into him longer than he's been into you.

"then what was that thing about wonwoo not being able to shut up?"

you sigh. "he found it pretty funny and always brought it up to the guys, but i wasn't amused."

mingyu can't get it out of his head now. it's more funny than it's sad. maybe it's funny in a sad way. but he can't stop thinking about how awkward it must have been for you to hang out with wonwoo after that little mishap.

"stop laughing," you scold him lightheartedly, smacking his arm.

"i'm sorry," he says, hands reaching out for you. the weight on his chest has almost gone entirely.

it's a bit difficult, but you manage to move to his side and sit on his lap. your car's a bit small for such fancy maneuvers but mingyu always loves being close to you, no matter how.

"hi," you say, finally kissing him. he's missed you all day long, and all he wants to do now is go to your place and hold you in his arms all night long.

"hi," he says, looking up at you. he can't keep the stupid smile off his face.

"still feeling cold?" you ask, lightly tugging at his beanie. "i can turn on the heat, if you want."

the hesitation comes back. he shakes his head, but if you're sitting this close to him, surely you're not going to make fun of him?

"we had the shoot today."

"so you said, gyu."

"they...made me..."

"do a hundred push-ups?"

mingyu's eyes widen. "you think i can do a hundred push-ups?"

"i don't know, maybe?"

mingyu inhales sharply. "then i'll train to do them for you."

you shake your head and kiss him again. "you can do ten and i'll still be happy. what happened then?"

mingyu deflates. he doesn't look bad, not to himself, but it's just... new. he's not used to having such short hair.

"i got a haircut," he says, tugging off his beanie and closing his eyes, scared of your reaction.

your voice is low when you say, "oh, my god."

mingyu doesn't dare open his eyes. "is that a good thing, or..."

"gyu, sweetheart, do you have any idea how hot you look?"

he opens his eyes to see yours trained on his face, flitting between his lips and his hair. he feels the slightest bit self-conscious. "i kind of feel like an egg."

"then you're the hottest egg i've ever seen. seriously, what made you go for it?"

mingyu shrugs. "it wasn't really my idea."

you frown at him. "what do you mean?"

"they thought it'd suit the comeback theme if i had short hair."

you take his face in your hands. "oh, gyu. i'm sorry. i wish you had a say in it."

he nods. he does wish he had a say in it, but as long as you find it hot, he's fine.

you run a hand through his hair, or what is left of it after the trim, your fingers scratching against his scalp much more clearly than they usually do. it feels good.

"i hate you," you say softly.

mingyu's suddenly worried. "what? why?"

"because i'm going to have to change my lockscreen again. do you have any idea how much time it took me to narrow down a perfect choice from all the 1,082 pictures i have of you?"

mingyu groans. "don't scare me like that, baby. also, you have that many pictures of me?"

"i'd have more if you didn't tour so much."

mingyu can't help the laugh he lets out. you really can cure his day with your words, no matter where you are. he pulls you down for a kiss. "let's have takeout and go home, okay?"

you grin brightly at him. "did you just call my place home?"

he supposes he did. but it's true, isn't it? "of course i did."

[cleolinda]

The happenings, Tumblr edition

Obviously I am not happy about the prospect of Tumblr going into sunset "guess we'll just let it die" mode (or possibly "Let's sell it to fuck knows who!!"), if that is indeed what is happening. My clinical anxiety needs a lot of things. This is not one of them.

I've been using Tumblr as my primary hangout for pretty much exactly a year now. I am tired of watching platforms enshittify and crumble. Why does this keep happening to us. I am weary.

At the same time, yeah, Twitter is dogshit now, but a year after it got taken over, it is there still. There were some problems on Reddit, but it's thoroughly still there. There was time to figure out some migration for all the good it did.

I worked on essay-type posts and recaps all this year to figure out approximately how many spoons I have and how much I can expect to post a month, before I actually got the Patreon running in October. A solid 1-2 Long Posts a month, it seems like, and maybe more frequently if I do shorter posts. And Tumblr has great opportunities to just keep reblogging and sharing things, sometimes adding comments, so I feel like I'm active even when I'm stuck trying to finish a post of my own.

So now, fuck me, I guess

So I have the Patreon as a way to say, hey, I'm here no matter what else happens, sign up for the ~*free*~ weekend linkspam/check-in, here's what I posted wherever this week, I'll put up some early or extra stuff if you'd like to upgrade to a fancy tier someday. It is truly most important to me for people to just know where I am; you don't have to commit to the $1 or $5 tiers.

But I also want a way to post my writing publicly, so people can, you know, see it. So I'm gonna start mirroring my own longer posts on Dreamwidth, I guess. That's the place I know to go back to.

Hopefully Dreamwidth does not go also down in flames!!!!

I've started archiving some of my work (also from LJ and Twitter) as PDFs in Dropbox. Mostly as a safeguard for myself, but I'll make it a public link on the Patreon.

I would really like to keep up with where people are going, what sites people are going to try to migrate to next, and I'll pass that info on as I get it.

All that said, I think most of us will stay on Tumblr as long as we can, if only for the very unique shoot-the-shit culture it has. Like, people aren't leaving it so much as preparing for the future.

[just-antithings]

This happened a long time ago but I'm still bitter about it so I wrote this

In the peak of covid I started writing fanfic it was really cringe worthy self-indulgent oc×character 10k fic on ao3 that got like 10 kudos but it was my baby Anyways everything was going well until some anti read it and decided to criticize my work , and wow were they creative there "criticism" was absolutely something

1- the anti took issue with my oc being a black masculine woman saying that I was potraying racist stereotypes of black woman

*I am a masculine black woman btw I guess my existence it now a bad stereotype now*

2- oc's father the abuser showed signs of schizophrenia so I was demonizing people with mental illness

*this character was inspired by my abusive father , funny enough my dad wasn't diagnosed yet when I made the fic so I guess this random anti successfully diagnosed my dad before he even went to a therapist

3 I was fetishazing lesbian relationships

*to this day I don't know what the anti ment by that it wasn't even smut the oc and the character only kissed once and I'm a fucking lesbian*

After that they found my tumblr made a callout post and let my inbox be flooded by death threats by other antis until I deleted the fic I lived a whole year thinking the police will knock on my door because I dared to write a fanfic (wich it funny now but terrifying for a 15 year old)

*My biggest problem with the whole thing is the Anti was fucking straight white girl in her 20s like wtf*

that's why I take issue whenever when an anti cries racism about fanfiction , I don't trust them to know the difference between racism and not liking a specific charictistic (or they know just but know people will be more likely to send threats to someone if they used racism as a shield)

Like moments ago I stumbled apon a post calling z fandom racist for making a black character top because that inforces bad stereotypes of black men being aggressive to then stumble apon another post calling fandom y racist for making the black character bottom because black people shouldn't submit to white men (like wtf)

.

[ao3commentoftheday]

Hello! Hope you're doing well! I'm not really sure if you can help with this, but. That AITA post going around about someone outing a writer's second account because they were writing "problematic" content really unlocked a new fear in me. I also have a second account in a fandom for my explicit, problematic and dark fics. The thing is, I write more tamer stuff for a different fandom on my main, and I'd love to write my usual stuff for that other fandom on my main account and I think some of my readers would enjoy it too. But I'm so nervous about someone recognising my style and "outing" me for it. My main account has become my safe space away from life, and I hate the idea of that being ruined all because of fiction. Do you or your followers have any advice? I'm still somewhat new to fandom and not sure how to navigate the waters.

*hugs* I'm sorry this is kind of your intro to fandom, anon. It wasn't always like this - or at least, not this much.

I'd like to be able to reassure you that being harassed for writing darkfic isn't likely. Unfortunately, I can't. I've seen it happen too many times, and even that anecdotal evidence only adds up to 1% of writers, that's still too many.

If the two fandoms you write for don't have a lot of overlap and if they're not tiny, then I think the odds of recognizing you from your writing style alone are pretty low though. You'd need to have some very specific writing quirks for someone to put 2 and 2 together.

Most of the time, people barely register an author's name when they're reading fic and if you don't indicate anywhere in your AO3 profile or author's notes that you've got a second account (and if you don't mention it on your social media), then no one will have a reason to suspect that you do.

I mean, I've been incredibly bad at keeping this account separate from my regular tumblr and AO3 accounts and most people still couldn't pick me out of a lineup of usernames on there. And I literally link my shit all the time.

Worrying that you'll be harassed over writing darkfic is an unfortunately realistic fear. Worrying that someone will guess that writer A and writer B are actually the same person? That one feels a little less possible to me. What do the rest of you think?

This ask is also available on Dreamwidth here.

[cherryc1nnam0n]

I'm bored and I don't wanna write something so have this rant about the (fictional) men I love and why

Hello people

This is Cherry speaking and today I am presenting top men that I love and why are (most of them) them all serial killers who wear masks and are dead? We'll find out here

1. Brahms Heelshire

I mean just look at him, skrunkily wall boi who has never showered, the man with a mask that makes him look so fuckable and submissive and he fucking whines?! Ngh, so hot

I need to lick those man titties with all my might and ride him until his legs give out

But unlucky for me he's dead as fuck so yikes, he's not dead in my mind or in my blog

2. Billy Loomis

Crazy Ghostface boi who can rearrange my guts any time he wants and breed me all he wants mhm mhm

I fucking love Billy because look at him, he's a psychopath but he looks so hot while being it

Who wouldn't love this man??

But again, another one dead, killed by Sydney (fuck you Sydney), but not before leaving his offspring but we won't talk about that now

3. Eddie Munson

The exception to being a killer because he was framed it's my beautiful boi Eddie <3

I love this boi with all my heart and he can touch it with his dick all he wants <3

I fell in love with him when I saw him on Stranger Things 4 and I haven't since then <3

But my boi was eaten alive by a swarm of feral bats and bleed to death in Dustin's arms but he's still alive in my mind, and Tumblr's mind <3

4. Mark Hoffman

My crush from Saw since I watched the movies when I was 6

I have always loved older men for some reason so yeah (daddy issues)

He's not a good apprentice from John because he kills people and doesn't give them the chance of survival but I still love him <3

But as all of them, he was tied up on the original room from Saw and left to die there

It's presumed he's dead because people only survive 3 days without food so he's probably dead as fuck like all of them bois in this list

Still, he's still alive for me so he can breed me all he wants <3

5. Ethan Landry

Another Ghostface crazy boi who died a virgin (not in my mind if you know what I mean)

He was killed in an awful way but he's still hot and submissive and breedable and oh my gosh he's so hot

I am literally obsessed with him and you'll see my latest likes are all Ethan so yeah, fuck me (Ethan) I guess

6. Billy Hargrove

My asshole of a boyfriend who was too weak in spirit to fight off Vecna and died thanks to it

I love him <3

He's my favorite boi that can hit me and fuck me all he wants until I fry and he won't even stop by then so mmmmmhmmm

But again, ded as fuck lol

7. Hannibal Lecter

Cannibal daddy can eat me alive whenever he wants, I have excess skin so he can have all he wants mmmm

He's so pretty and sophisticated and so mmmm

I love him and he can eat me all he wants and breed me too

(I don't remember what happened to him if he died of not but yeah)

8. C!Technoblade

My pig boi who is a genocidal and an anarchist will always live rent free on my mind

(Along with his creator Alex, RIP Techno, we miss you a lot)

But on the DSMP I headcanon he had a lovely wife and two kids who loved him a lot and now they're alone and sad </3

But he's alive in my own AU so it's fine

I love my pig boi

9. Jim Hopper

I mean look at him, he screams DADDY in all his forms

I love hunks for some reason and he's one of them

He can have me whenever he wants

Only exception to being dead lol

Man titties

But anyways. That's everyone I can name off the top of my head so if you until here have a nice day and I love you <3

[kiragecko]

cherrystainedknuckles

I guess the only problem with being asked to take a “marie kondo approach” is that in order to find any fanfic that appears to be based in actual canon timeline and plot points and characterization (which does exist, and I’m not sure why fanon fans seem insistent that it doesn’t), I literally have to search for hours. I’m not joking, I consistently make fic rec lists, and I have to search for hours and hours for actual canonical basis. same thing with character tags on tumblr.

I’m not saying fanon fans have to stop enjoying fanon or making up their own content. I’m just saying that when the tags used for both fanon tim drake and canon tim drake are the same tag it just becomes incredibly annoying sometimes, and I understand why people who like to engage with canon (me, often) become frustrated

-

I have definitely had periods where I got incredibly frustrated with fanon! Around 2019, I was wondering if I needed to leave the Batfandom, because it had been so long since I read a new fic where the characters felt 'right'.

-

But, if you're willing to, I'd like you to consider what you mean when you divide 'fanon' from 'canon'. Because I struggle to find a hard line between the two, for several reasons:

1. Fandom is transformative. Every fanfic is going to have some interpretation of the source material. The line between what is too much interpretation and what is acceptable is different for every person. For me, I find it can even vary based on writing style or other odd things - lighthearted fic can have more noncanonical stuff in it than heavier fic, and still seem true to canon.

2. 'Canon' is subjective. I do not consider the movies or video games to be 'canon', and it annoys me when things from those creep into the fic I'm reading. (I'm okay with SOME Battinson.) Some aspects of the cartoons are okay. I consider precrisis Jason Todd to be an alternate reality version, but Donna's precrisis origins are more canonical than the dumb retcons. Wayne Family Adventures isn't my main version of the characters, but I'm not bothered if some elements show up in my stories. I'm ignoring most of the nu52, but I like Duke and I'm still watching this new Lian to see what happens. I doubt your divisions are identical to mine.

(Also, some things that I think of as 'fanon' have shown up in nu52 canon! I do not accept them as any more canon because of this.)

3. Most 'fanon' is based on canon. Canon Tim has weird sleep habits. 90s Dick is really lighthearted and joking around some characters in ways similar to fanon. Dick can canonically not be trusted to take care of himself if his mental health gets low enough. Jason likes classical literature. Etc.

These are exaggerated and/or twisted in a lot of fic, but where is the line where they stop being canon? I wouldn't bat an eye at a lot of this stuff, if it didn't show up SO OFTEN.

4. Most 'fanon fans' do know some canon. What line are you going to set where it will be 'enough'. And are they allowed to mention parts of the canon they haven't read yet? Is anyone allowed to talk about Dick's early Robin days, or only the tiny amount of people who have read the golden age stuff? A lot of the 'mistakes' I see are obviously made by people who have read ABOUT canon, but don't know quite how it fits together.

5. 'Canon' is FULL of contradictions. Yes, there are canon events. Yes, there is characterization that is consistent across 3/4s of comics. But. I'm still working on my sidekick timeline. I've devoted days to figuring out ages and passage of time. I've spent over a decade trying to figure out Jason Todd's motivations, and why Tim treats him the way he does. I've read all the 90s and early 2000s CANONICAL character assassination of Jason.

I spent years thinking that Donna's death was almost as foundational as Jason's, only to later discover that I had just happened to read the specific comics that focused on the fallout, and she only stayed dead for a short time. That happens to fans ALL THE TIME! We read a character summarizing an event we haven't directly read, and just accept it as what happened. But characters have biases, and not all writers care about accuracy.

-

I've read some Tim Drakes that I consider to be almost entirely 'fanon'. And quite a few that were so scarily 'canon' that I got chills. (Not all of which were similar to each other.) But the vast, vast majority have fallen somewhere in the middle.

I definitely do not want the responsibility of deciding which ones count as 'canon'! And I think I would strongly dislike anyone who tried to decide for me.

Being frustrated is logical, and I empathize. But the original post was about the impossible expectations some fans feel. The expectation to read thousands of comics, synthesize all the contradictions, and come to conclusions that match the 'true fans'. That's a perfectly reasonable thing to be complaining about.

If that's what some fans are experiencing, of course they're not going to want to engage with canon! There's no way for them to succeed, so why should they even try?

When you join THAT conversation to discuss your frustration about fanon, it strengthens that perception. When you call them 'fanon fans' it emphasizes their belief that you don't think they belong. And rather than trying to change, it's more likely that they'll double down. Canon is full of gatekeepers, so they'll avoid it.

[lungs4sale]

my fav hannigram fanfics

png by @pngsforyou

1. Impasto by jiggityjams

“You’re not going to try to discourage me, Will?” Another glance, a pursing of lips. “... No. I can see the determination in your face. You know what you want and you have the means to obtain it. Most clients think they know what they want- until they hear how long it will take and how much that work will cost. We’ll work out some numbers, of course, and draft a contract. If you’re willing to be patient with the piece then I’m willing to give it my best go.” A small, pleased smile spread across the psychiatrist’s face. “I think this is the start of a beautiful partnership, Will. I look forward to working with you.” Or the one where Hannibal has found a lost treasure and Will has given up on police work and has turned his talents to restoring oil paintings.

this is a different au where will quits the fbi and becomes a painter (if im not wrong). abigail is alive and works for him. i read this awhile ago and i remember loving it because of how sarcastic will was. one of my notes was: will was so desperate to open up (not sure why but this man is so touch starved and craved for affection in the show so i guess it's canon accurate). i also have a soft spot for fics with abigail in it because she deserves the world.

2.  Five Times Hannibal Visits Will and One Time He's Already Home (or: Coffee Cake) by bones_2_be

When Will tells Hannibal to leave at the end of Digestivo, he goes. And then, a few years later, he shows back up. They have long conversations, drink a lot of wine, at the end of it all they find something that works.

i just finished reading this 2 days ago and it was an experience. i loved how well paced it was. the writing really matched the same vibe of the show. both hannibal and will were written quite accurately to how i feel they would react in the show itself. the way both of them interacted in this fic was realistic and how i wish i could erase my mind of this fic so i could experience it again for the first time.

3.  each according to its kind by chaparral_crown

Will does the only reasonable thing that someone fresh out of a mental hospital with no support system does - he leaves, and goes on a road trip to the Pacific Northwest.

this fic is THE hannigram fic, fight with the wall. kidding. this is more of a character study of will (hannibal doesn't even show until halfway through). the writing is top tier and just like the fic before it really does match the vibe of the show. i personally am not a big fan of smut (i don't mind it, i just prefer plot over that) and this book barely had any in it which is a godsend.

4.  ...And This One is Just Right by Sabi

When an injured BSHCI escapee breaks into Dr. Graham's vet clinic, it doesn't end cleanly. Surely it couldn't happen again? Or again?

will is a vet in this universe and i'm not sure why but i pictured him younger? it's only 4 chapters if im not wrong and it's a fun read! the characterisation of will is not as accurate to the show but to be fair it is a different universe and i still love this fic dearly.

pngs by @saizun

i'll post more because i want to create an archive here. i don't really like how ao3 looks so i'm going to do it on tumblr instead. if you have any hannigram recs plsplsplspls let me know because i'm literally begging for scraps sire. also merry christmas to those celebrating!

[wonderwithin-us]

The dream you're looking for is in the work you're avoiding ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Guess who got their phone broken 💗 but it's alright, it's all ok now & I noted down all I did in the past 3 days. My exams were a little bad, really bad to be completely honest, but it's alright, it was my first time giving exams this semester and I learnt what I need to do.

11th of July, 2023 💕

100 days of productivity — day 5, week 1

Economic exam preparation ~ I was so confused, there were so many concepts I'd missed because of my sickness but I tried YouTube and notes online. Procrastination really did get the best of me. I need to lessen my use of insta, seriously, I think Tumblr is more safe in that regard.

Microeconomics — Introduction & Consumer's Equilibrium

Statistics — Introduction & Organisation of Data

I need to work on my graphs, practice more and overall concepts of microeconomics. Also, clear up my concepts on stats. It's easy, but revision is needed.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

12th of July, 2023

100 days of productivity — day 6, week 1

Economics exam, yikes. Next exam was Psych the next day, so I was really nervous because I wanted to score well in it! ❣️

However.

Procrastination got to me, again. I studied for a while then thought it was too easy and I could do it at night, which, evidently, I couldn't.

I think rather than seeing easy topics as something to skip studying or take easy, I should put more effort in them so I can get them perfect and let it pay back to me.

What is Psychology? & Methods of Enquiry

I need to work on my basic concepts, esp in ch-2, and notes. Visual learning works best for me, and making my own notes is essential to my learning 📖

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

13th of July, 2023

100 days of productivity — day 7, week 1

Dear god, I think my psych exam was the most terrible. Which hurt me the most.

I really did lose hope after this. Not only did my incredibly unclear concepts and no notes not help, but the exam was extremely tough, the questions were really vague and I didn't understand them, and the worst of all, I literally forgot I had a whole section to do as objective even after rechecking. I lost 5 marks from that, maybe more.

That really hurt.

Tomm was English exam! I had seen what had happened in the last papers, so I really worked hard here.

I mostly focused on literature, since the creative writing formats were mostly very easy and took less than an hour.

Chapters with details are hard!

Anyways, I was really anxious until the end, and kept a few detailed chapters to the morning after to revise.

I really need to work on studying chapters I've missed before the exams come. It was so messy and frustrating trying to understand all these chapters with online notes and summaries, especially when the chapters are so open ended and the teacher is so strict with answers 💌

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

14 of July, 2023

100 days of productivity — day 8, week 2

WAR!!! IS!!! OVER!!!!

Final exam day, I was nervous but it was actually quite alright!

I absolutely need to work on my speed, though.

Also, I almost always exceeded the word limit in answers. So, I need to practice my creative writing more, not just in my head, but actually on paper, and be more perfectionist in my answers in literature.

I went out with my big brother to eat street food and it was all very lovely 🍝

I also wrote a lot of poetry, which I'm really quite proud of. I also received some really good news! 💕

New week! The first week was really, really overwhelming, and I don't want my future self to end up like that again. It was exhausting and hurtful and I want to get better.

In the end, I've got a lot of stuff to work with and I'm really proud of my self to survive all this! ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* I hope nothing but peace upon my future.

[pbpsbff]

happy 1 year of r&r :)

i know it's a lil cringe to like. celebrate the birthday of a series on ao3 but r&r is literally my child. my baby. i birthed this series. and you all signed up for this when u started reading my fics thank u

soooooooo thank u guys for all the support i've received over r&r i know it's hard to stay a consistent reader when my posting schedule is entirely non existent but i am so grateful for everyone who's stuck around this long and been with me for this journey (calling it a journey because a year ago i did not have any sort of overarching plot in mind and now we're 17? 18? fics deep and so many things have happened and i'm usually just as surprised as my readers) it's rlly u guys that have kept me going this long

ANYWAY. i rewrote this like 500 times cause i hate being like. overly sappy on this account because it's way funnier to act like a celebrity with a huge ego, but real talk i am so proud of everything i've done w this series & what it's become in the past year

i've been posting my writing online since i was like 10, so we're going on almost 9 years now and i don't think i've ever ever ever received as much support for something as i have for r&r and something about that is soooo special to me??? idk it's just so nice to see a completely self indulgent series become so loved by others, especially since the only other fics i had up before gmm&m were a little more on the "i'm gonna write what seems popular right now" side???

like shoutout to everyone who was here before/around when i started the series because my account was so empty like. 2 fics and one gets updated every 6 months. r&r pulled me out of the trench i fear. it also cured me of my very horrible disease that makes me delete all my fics after 9 months and then completely disappear from a fandom so everyone say thank you r&r

but yeah idk where i'm going with this i'm very grateful for r&r and all the friends i've made and people i've met through it because i was very lonely before i rejoined tumblr and r&r was like. 90% of the reason i made my account

AND SPEAKING OF FRIENDS. thank u to

@spidergrotto & @sapoteylx for being the first ppl i met on here to openly talk about and support r&r which i thought was so so cool even if you guys have become my haters in the past few months i've known you :/ thank u r&r nation u keep me humble and miserable (and i am very thankful for our friendship i think some aspects of r&r would be very different if we'd never met)

& ao3 user classactical because you've been here since like. a month or two into the series i think and i always always always look forward to your comments because i feel like if you comment, i did a good job on the fic LOL thank u for sticking around for so long, even if ao3 has been actively working against you for a whiiiiile

there's a lot more i want to say and a lot of people i want to mention but that would take a very long time and i always feel weird tagging a lot of people in posts so just know if u read r&r we are kissing rn. or high fiving idk whatever floats ur boat i guess

but yeah anyway tl:dr happy birthday r&r i'm very proud of this series & very thankful for everyone who has read any part of it ever u guys are so cool and hot and have amazing taste and i'm taking your kudos and bookmarks etc. as you swearing your allegiance to me and promising me your undying support no matter what (legally binding btw) thank u guys

[cerealandchoccymilk]

Trigun Bookclub: Trigun Vol.1, Chapters #00-01

all | next

lets fucking do this

I'm annotating every chapter of trigun, both the Japanese original print (reread) and Overhaul 1.0 (first read). Literally just writing down everything I notice about details, version differences, translation notes, etc. and also being gay about the characters. happy pride month

I had other stuff to do today yesterday so I only got through a little bit but pace will pick up tomorrow today (1 volume/week is faster than i thought...)

Here are the beloved non-analysis sillies...

And there are just so many annotation images so I just put the rest under the cut <3 read my notes boy

[edit: why aren't the images not being side by side like i want them to i hate this. here's the url for my blog page with correct formatting] [edit 2: i guess it's only on desktop, not on mobile. so that's good]

First thing I noticed was the difference in the number of volumes, or the number of chapters in each volume. In my JP copy, volume 1 ends at Chapter #07: Rem, while Overhaul (and I assume every version after the first JP print) ends at #12: River of Life.

Anyways onto the actual images

21st of July - !! didn't notice [that the July incident actually happened in July] during 1st read b/c months are only numbers in Japanese 11 hours after destruction - July incident was 2am

For some reason I thought he was standing this whole time. unneccesary details georg

Estimated age: 24 - Official age for his appearance? dang he's young Appearance - "Place of origin/birth," not "what he looks like" The worst kind of outlaw, and an unrivalled killer. - Added in a later version? (not in my JP copy but the phrase is familiar)

This blank space originally had the Japanese translation for the board.

We see his serious expression already! I don't remember '98 doing so this early on so it's pretty notable to me...

Just thinking about how Vash counted each individual gunshot being fired during all that chaos... dear god.... During my first read/watch I thought it was just silly Rule of Cool protagonist moment but not really. This guy actually has Insane perception, either from being a plant or sheer practice. Or both.

Also immediately after all that, I really love the way the aftermath is shown here. The only things you can hear are the creaks of the light and the crying boy. It really brings out the tension in the atmosphere.

Finally, something other than unneccesary bits! If you look at the flooring under the toy gun, the perspective lines are pointing SW-NE. This corresponds to the flooring on Vash's right, whose right arm is also suspiciously out-of-frame... This is definitely the moment he took the toy gun. I can't express the amount of Holy Shit I felt when I realized this. The detail!!!!! man!!!!!!!!!

There's a little translation error here - it should be something like "Even if he were still alive, he wouldn't be able to move an inch!"

One of my favorite Vash moves with one of my favorite Tumblr heritage posts.

This is not really based on any drawn details, but I think this is the moment that Vash readies the toy gun, puts it in his pocket, and picks up the ketchup. Do Not trust this man when his arm is not visible. Also finger still in gun <3 doing his part blocking one bullet at a time

And here we have Vash's first COOL cool moment!!!!!! cue my homo screaming. goddddddddd im so mentally unwell about him. agh I also absolutely love when Nightow does that thing where he screen-tones a character's skin just because. It pops!! It's unique!! I love it!! I eat it up every time!!!

Here's where I realize that Vash's hair antennae are pointing straight up. I should be on the lookout for when he makes the transition to the M-shaped antennae we know and love.

Also, a little untranslatable joke from the Japanese version. In Japanese, this guy calls out at Vash like "And you, don't provoke him!" except it's written with the kanji for "Hunter" (狩人 karyūdo), with a ruby pronunciation note saying "you" (おまえも omaemo). These kanji/ruby mismatch jokes are never not funny and it's so sad that there's no way to keep them in without doing...this lol

The "I counted!" reveal never fails to get me. holy shit. I love the little boy's expression when he gets his gun back :) You helped!!! and you don't have to have the real deal to be cool as balls!!!

Just lumping this with the previous two because it's a tall image, but another small translation error. Rather than being about doing harm, he's talking about recieving it (～～はゴメンだ is a hard-to-catch phrasing/idiom; it's already been discussed with the translator on a different instance). It should be more like "[...But] nobody likes getting hurt, right?"

THE GIRLIES YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not including the dialogue because. y'know. At least they get (accidentally) Bonked by Millie :) get their asses

Here, the order suggestion is made by somebody off-screen, but in the first edition, it was made by the cook himself. (left image annotation says "the storekeeper(cook) is so nice!")

That's it for chapters #00-01! I'm going to keep having Category 5 Autism Events every day aren't I.

It's literally 1:20am as of finishing this post because my computer won't stop crashing. Posting this first thing in the morning tomorrow <3

Also, the Japanese copy of the annotations will be in the reblogs for anyone who wants to see them. The emotions are Rawer and they're phrased way less awkwardly... if you can read them lol

[oceanlipgloss]

11.1.2024

—nsfw (do bless your eyes, your hearts and your minds)

I checked the introductory screen to the final H-scene of Chapter 4, and I think I'm going to dress in drag and do the hula spin like a vinyl. I think I've seen the light, seen a vision. My people, I predict that this H-scene will most ardently come for my ass (edit 1: it didn't come for my ass, it WRECKED it. This was heavenly, this was a pleasure, this was a gift from God. Everyone, I present to you the most unhinged reaction to an H-scene I've ever had so far)

edit 2: the original post got flagged because yours truly loved the CG so much she didn't crop it, so this is a repost. The CG deserved to be seen goddammit I'll never forgive you for this, Tumblr🖕🏼

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ´ˎ˗

intro: HE REALLY? HE WHAT? HUHHHH? HIS TONGUE, PEOPLE THE FUCKING QUOTE, PEOPLE

update I: these past few H-scenes have been especially confusing timeline-wise. For instance, this one began when everyone was at the hospital, even though MC has already been taken away by Leamas. It seemed more logical to me to interpret that it somehow happened before Leamas took MC with him—which still doesn't quite make 100% sense, mind you, because Bimet's H-scene took place then, so...I'm not too sure about this. Then there's how Belial was apparently unwell up until that point, so how could he have managed to do the deed with MC? Then again, perhaps devils heal at a faster pace than humans do, and that would be perfectly sensible because devils are immortal, and since they aren't humans their bodies must have functions and rates that differ than those of human bodies.

update II: oh thank fuck Jjyu isn't here and probably won't be there when it's time to...lend MC a helping dick hand because that would've been a threesome as cursed as this sentence

update III: DOPE. This is how they're going to communicate, now is it? It will be so sensual when the time comes

update IV: so he HAS healed, which I'm guessing means he's going too screw MC into next week, because bro, that CG snippet on the intro screen? It's got 'I will make you scream' written all over it. It gave me the impression that Belial is intense and playful when it comes to sex, which would in turn mean that he's the gentle type that turns mercilessly naughty in bed. Iswtg if that's the case I'm going to screech. I'm on my knees praying I'm right because my God, can you imagine how ruthlessly sexy that would be? Also, Satan and Sitri's enthusiasm to help again is most welcome please, each book your appointment and be MC's guest, and Zagan should do the same it's so cute how they desperately want to do this with her again

update V: aw MC is relieved by the fact that Belial is feeling better. I'm glad, I really love when she worries for them and cares about them

update VI: OH GOD I am going to love this. He's so bold and straightforward and efficient ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I guess my little 'theory' is going to be on point

update VII: for the love of all that's holy please please I have so much to say already. The way he's caressing her skin? The way he begins by stroking her body only to suddenly stop at a certain spot and write? The way he so confidently asks why she's shivering when he already knows the answer is him? Belial, you're messing with my mind so well right now

update VIII: he likes the boobies lol

update IX: meek and gentle, you say? He's a gentle weapon of mass destruction, that's what he is and don't you think it would've been funny if they had kept Jjyu on his horn? I'm glad they didn't

update X: my God this has BARELY begun and I'm already feeling things because this is criminally sensual God please Belial I think you're going to make it big bigtime in my favourite characters club

update XI: nonononono he's too much he's too good he's too sexy I am NOT dealing well I am NOT fine THIS IS EXACTLY MY CUP OF TEA AND THE TEACUP IS OVERFLOWING DO YOU UNDERSTAND???

update XII: SEND HELP SEND HELP SEND

update XIII: not him writing on her shoulder with his left hand while his right wrecks her. Not them describing his fingers. Not me having a thing for hands. I AM GOING WILD HE'S LITERALLY A NAUGHTY DREAM I TELL YOU

update XIV: good god. Good lord. DEAR GOD. DEAR LORD. The writer(s) must have taken a dip pun intended inside my mind for inspiration for this scene because HOW THE FUCK DOES EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM AND EVERY DAMN THING HE'S DOING MAKE ME TINGLE

update XV: AAAAAAAADNLSKSJSNSJKS HOT DAMN I TOLD YOU, HE'S MISCHIEVIOUS AND HOT AND SEXY AND

update XVI: ignore saucy sassy MC and let us all revere Belial for a moment. In casual times, he's gentle and soft and gives off that aura because that's just how he is, but LOOK at him now. HE IS SHOWING HER NO MERCY. HE IS INTENT ON DESTROYING US ALL. That kind of difference in attitude between default mode and sex mode wrings my guts and tickles my heart into overdrive. MMMMM

update XVII: mercy mercy mercy MERCY this is what I was telling you THIS IS WHAT I WAS SAYING

update XVIII: now this? It deserves a screenshot of its own because. THAT EXPRESSION ON A SEEMINGLY GENTLE MAN. THAT TONGUE. THOSE WORDS BEING WRITTEN ON HER BODY BY THAT SEEMINGLY GENTLE MAN. He wants to hear her fall apart for him and that's it I'm done for and the fact that he himself can't talk makes this touching despite what's going down and how in the name of fuck is she even managing to keep quiet anyways TELL ME???

update XIX: GRAAAAAAAAAAA write as much as you want write AS MUCH AS YOU WANT

update XX: my brain is melting like a blob of ice cream like a scoop of ice cream whatever it is man because it's too hot, it's too hot

update XXI: oh man oh man OH MAN I DON'T EVEN HAVE WORDS ANYMORE BUT IDC IF PEOPLE CALL WHAT HE'S SAYING WEIRD I LIKE IT except the sweat part and someone please explain how she's still being able to focus on what he's writing on her skin at this point unless the writings send signals to her mind and her mind reads them on its own

update XXII: he scares me. He is terrifyingly perfect. He's the whole package. THE WHOLE. FUCKING. PACKAGE. She's skilled at swallowing what though And him complimenting her voice is a stake to the heart, I find it sad but so sweet and heartwarming all at the same time

update XXIII: HOLY MOTHER OF GOD THE CG THE FUCKING CG THE

update XXIV: BRUUUUUUUH this is this is this is so unique and artistic and sensual and the details alluding to how he was feeling while he was writing omfg like 'some words were scribbled in a hurry and other sentences were written clearly and tenaciously' and oh my god I AM FUCKING EATING RIGHT NOW *nitpicks* she did hear Belial talk before though, like when he said Solomon's name on his own, so the 'never heard his voice' doesn't really add up. Yes, she didn't hear his voice as it should have been in its healthy state, but she did somewhat hear him talk

update XXV: I AM LOOKING AT HIM I AM LOOKING (edit 3: I am so salty that I had to crop this. Saltier than salt itself, truth be told) AND WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING BEING SO PERFECT AND SENSING HOW SHE'S FEELING LIKE THAT

update XXVI: GODDDDDD GOOD GODDDDD I love how MC is so reactive to him like she's HUNGRY for him and desperate for more even though he's going hella fast already and then him getting turned on even more because she wants him and the fact that she's writing on his body now too I'M AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

update XXVII: the atmospherical descriptions of how the silence I am once again asking to know how MC is being quiet enhanced the sound of the rustling sheets and...other things? Mhm

update XXVIII: 'moaning in the arms of a man who scribbled ticklish words on you' romantic and carnal come together and yours truly poofs out of existence

update XXIX: MC ik you're hanging on to the remaining crumbs of your sanity by your fingernails but pls don't shout in his ears, that has to be unpleasant like 'I THINK I'M GONNA CUM BELIAL DO YOU COPY'

update XXX: bro he's done with the railing but he's STILL railing this is so hot it's illegal like they're done but he hasn't pulled out dammittttttt I feel bad for the devils though, MC gets to experience the best orgasmic fireworks of her life, but the demons never get to satisfy their own needs even though they enjoy it lol makes me think, it must be heavenly hell for a human woman trying to conceive with a male demon because damn bro that stamina is a monster the stamina's not the only monster

update XXXI: LMFAO THE WAY THEY DESCRIBE IT they make it seem like a happy creature lol they sure have a knack for describing dicks

update XXXII: you mean all THREE of us, Belial. ALL THREE OF US. I also cannot get over how bold and straightforward he is, and the fact that he's often gentle and quiet makes him brutal fr

update XXXIII: the nerve on this man. The NERVE. First he kicks my kneecaps, then he does this

update XXXIV:...ik the sex was mind-shattering, earth-splitting, cum-splatting, but how do you even not notice something like that how can that be possible

update XXXV: excuse me while I go scream like a fucking maniac. He likes this so much he doesn't want to free the girl. What a winner GOD BLESS This was pretty much decided from just before he and MC broke their contract and then when he wiped MC's tears after the broken contract, now even more early on in this H-scene scene, but he very obviously made it to the top ranks in my favourite characters club. With that being said, welcome to the club, Belial lol

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ´ˎ˗

+note: that was an experience. The duality of his character played a number on my heart and mind. And maybe not even duality per se, but more so a secret side he only shows in moments of intimacy. Either way, what an amazing scene. It was artistic and overwhelmingly sensual, yet maintained the perfect balance between intense, gentle, playful and erotic.

I also adored the concept of silence and the slight hint to his discophilia—the silence allowed MC to hear new things and listen to sounds that were embarassingly clear—it was very unique.

And the artistic touch to this! It was so innovative altogether—he couldn't talk, but he let his thoughts and actions glow on her body and speak much too boldly for him instead.

Needless to say, I was obviously losing my marbles and enjoying this a biiit too much. I loved it so much where do I even begin

[choicesseptemberchallenge2023]

[Masterlist]

Welcome to Choices September Challenge!

Hello everyone! I'm Aura (@midnightmelodiz ). This is my first time hosting this monthly challenge, so I'm really excited about it. I really hope you all will like the prompts chosen for this month.

🍁GUIDELINES🍁

This is a prompt based contest. There's a prompt given for everyday, using which you'll have to create a content. Some days have multiple prompts, and different types of prompts. Feel free to use them all in the same work if you want.

You can use multiple prompt for the same work if the prompts are for same day. Don't mix and match prompts from different days.

Almost all kind of contents are acceptable. List of acceptable contents : fanfictions, drabbles, short-story/one-shot , poetry, microtale, art, mood board, theme, banner or other graphics etc.

Work based on any book from the Choices universe are welcome.

Submitted works will be featured on a weekly masterlist.

You can participate as many times as you want throughout the month.

Multiple entries for the same prompt, or same day prompts are allowed.

If your work contains NSFW/mature or triggering content, please use appropriate warning.

Mention/list the prompt(s) you are using in your content.

If possible, in stories, drabbles etc., write the prompt(s) in bold.

You can use the tag #choicesseptemberchallenge2023 & #choicesmonthlychallenge .

Please tag @choicesseptemberchallenge2023, feel free to tag me too : @midnightmelodiz . You can dm me your entries as well since Tumblr glitches a lot. Honestly I'd prefer if you dm your works, as Tumblr tags don't always work.

If I don't mention your work in the weekly masterlist, please send me a dm with the link.

🍂PROMPTS🍂

🍁 DAY 1 : Memories •||• "I can't be who you want me to be"

🍁 DAY 2 : Stars •||• Two people who keep crossing paths but miss actually meeting.

🍁 DAY 3 : Sea, Ocean •||• "You really like it?" "No, I was kidding."

🍁 DAY 4 : Moonlight, Moon •||• They have been secretly in love with each other for a long time.

🍁 DAY 5 : Diary, Journal, Notebook •||• "We're here now. Everything's alright."

🍁 DAY 6 : Dreams, Day Dream •||• "I'm in love with you!"

🍁 DAY 7 : Hope •||• Sharing something personal about them that they've never shared with anyone before.

🍁 DAY 8 : Coffee, Hot Beverage •||• "Come back! I'm not ready to get up yet. So you aren't either."

🍁 DAY 9 : Date Night •||• "I'm home, sweetheart!"

🍁 DAY 10 : Gift •||• "I care about you. I always will."

🍁 DAY 11 : Travel, Holiday , Vacation •||• Sharing an ice-cream together.

🍁 DAY 12 : Books, Reading, Writing •||• "You and me, it's never going to happen."

🍁 DAY 13 : Flowers •||• "I want to be with you." "I don't."

🍁 DAY 14 : Polaroid, Picture •||• Clicking candid pictures of their S/O to capture the special moments.

🍁 DAY 15 : Childhood, Nostalgia •||• "I love you. It's always going to be you."

🍁 DAY 16 : Cooking, Baking •||• Pretending to date each other to get out of a situation.

🍁 DAY 17 : Picnic •||• "That's all I really need. Some time with just you."

🍁 DAY 18 : Cuddle, Snuggle •||• Taking care of the other when they're sick or feeling low.

🍁 DAY 19 : Museum, Library •||• Picturing a future together even though they know it might never be true.

🍁 DAY 20 : Blue •||• " Are you saying that there's hope? Maybe in the future-" "No."

🍁 DAY 21 : Love, Kiss •||• Sending love letters to the other.

🍁 DAY 22 : Friends, Friendship •||• "It feels like I've known you forever."

🍁 DAY 23 : Fall •||• "I'm seeing someone."

🍁 DAY 24 : Serene •||• "Guess all those romance novel paid off after all, huh?"

🍁 DAY 25 : Secret, Surprise •||• "Is that my shirt?"

🍁 DAY 26 : Chocolate •||• Predicting the other's words or moves.

🍁 DAY 27 : Sunset •||• "Why did I know you would say that?"

🍁 DAY 28 : Wedding •||• "I always knew you would get together someday. What took you two so long?"

🍁 DAY 29 : rêveur, rêveuse •||• " You are all I could ever ask for."

🍁 DAY 30 : Home, Heart •||• "I'm here for you. Always."

**{Credit for most of the dialogue prompts goes to this blog~ @youneedsomeprompts}**

Have fun creating!

[mittensmorgul]

2023 in Mittens Fic

It's once again time for the annual accounting of things I have written! I think this year's total fic count, at 4, is my lowest ever, but I still managed more words than my two lowest years (peak pandemic, i loathe you still).

For reference, past year end summaries can be found here:

2022 | 2021 | 2020 | 2019 | 2018 | 2017 | 2016 | the closest thing I have to a 2015 wrap up post is the lil bit of text at the bottom of 2016′s post… even though my two most popular fics were from 2015 lololol

So I guess my main writing goal for 2024, since I know I will never surpass my 2015 totals, is to just do better than I did in 2023. Here's to more fic!

I managed a Pinefest fic, a fic I started for DCBB but didn't finish by the draft deadline and posted on my own, an annual destielversary fic, and an annual holiday fic. I think that's the bare minimum of what I try to aim for in a year, so even if I'm personally disappointed I didn't get anything else written in addition to that bare minimum, I'm glad I was at least able to hit that goal. Across this year's four posted fics, there's a total of 110,875 words.

Also, again slightly cheating, but since I've mentioned it for the past two years, I'm still making the @spngeorg podcast! In case the millions of words of meta I've written over the years aren't enough, and you want to hear me yell out loud about the show, you can start from the beginning on Spotify or wherever you enjoy podcasts! Or if that sounds daunting, since I just uploaded Episode 138, 7.12 Time After Time, which makes the backlog a lot to catch up on honestly, you're also welcome to just jump in now. Everyone please come yell with me! I swear, if you do start from the beginning, that I get dramatically better at this whole thing as we go on... at least, I think I have. If nothing else, episodes are far more manageably shorter now that I've developed a system. Only took 2 1/2 years, but here we are... :'D

With that business out of the way, let's break down those numbers! Presented in the order they posted:

Dear Western Red Cedar #2409 (63,433 words rated M) Written for @deancaspinefest with gorgeous art by @alexiescherryslurpy, and inspired by this tumblr post that had been plaguing my imagination for several years. It's a two person love triangle with Forest Ranger and secret bestselling author Dean and small town librarian Cas. Heck I want to go reread it just thinking about it now... this is a happy place fic for me.

one working part (40,051 words, rated E) I started this for DCBB, but failed to make the draft deadline, then finished it before posting began anyway... another canon finale fix-it fic, but this one is heavily It's A Wonderful Life flavored and based on a conversation I had with @greywrenn last year. This story picks up at the beginning of 15.19, and then slowly veers more and more from canon, running alongside canon and making rude hand gestures at canon along the way, because they all deserved to have nicer things than canon gave them.

all the time in the world (1,289 words, rated T) This is my annual Destielversary story, short and sweet. It's set immediately after the events of One Working Part, but you don't have to have read that to enjoy this one. Just know Cas is back with Dean, and they've got the rest of their lives stretched out in front of them.

Christmas, Present (6,102 words, rated T) My annual holiday fluff fic, this time set in an AU, since most of my past holiday fic has been canon universe. A Dean/Cas college AU, with Matchmaker Charlie who just wants her friends to be happy already!

And that's my year in fic (unless I manage to post something else in the next 33 hours or so, and lol no that ain't happening...)! As per usual, I've already written more than half of this year's word total for the 2024 Pinefest, which will post in March... or april... heck when is my posting date even... it's coming soon anyway! But it's all written! :'D

Once again, I've still got so many more stories I want to write. Even the To Be Written list has grown again. My idea list long ago surpassed SABLE status, and yet now there's even more on it...

It's five pages, and two thousand words longer than it was last year. this just gets worse every year :'D

But that means I'll never run out of things to write, and that's always something to celebrate!

Thanks again to everyone who’s read, kudos’ed, commented, reblogged, liked, rec’ed, and enjoyed anything I’ve written in the last year. I love you all. <3 See you in 2024!

[aerodaltonimperial]

✨Fic Writing Review 2023✨

Tagged by @rosabellebelieve and oh girl. Ain't nobody ready for these stats LOL. Uh oh. Also, I've removed all collab fics for purposes of this, as it doesn't really seem fair since I only wrote, like, half of them lmao.

Words and Fics

268,626 words in 2023 (mother of god)

52 fics on AO3 (dear christ)

I'm not even counting Tumblr ficlets, oh god, don't make me

Top 5 Pairings

💚🖤Jack/Darby (24) (NUMBER ONE???? how tho)

🧡🖤Hook/Danhausen (23)

💚🧡Jack/Hook (5)

🔮🍑Julia/Anna (4)

🧡🎤Max Caster/Hook (3) & 🧡🍊Orange/Hook (3) (HAHAHAHAHA)

Top 5 by kudos

i found love where it wasn't supposed to be (right in front of me) [Hookhausen]

man of lesser words [Hookhausen]

don't need a cure for love [Orange/Hook]

baby please (would you read my eulogy) [JungleCorpse]

you're the realest thing i've never had to fake [Hookhausen]

Top 5 by hits

baby please (would you read my eulogy) [JungleCorpse]

i found love where it wasn't supposed to be (right in front of me) [Hookhausen]

now you know how i feel [Hookhausen]

Weekend in Fresno: or, a Hook choose your own dating adventure [Hook/everyone]

threat level: euclid [HH, JC, SP]

Fandom Events in 2023

I made it to a wrestling show! Since they never go near me and my life is what it is, I really can't manage more than one a year, and I've got to be lucky to get that to work, but this was a big deal and I'm so happy that I could make it happen!

ALSO I MADE UP A FUCKING PAIRING AND GOT IT TO THE #1 FOR BOTH PARTIES INVOLVED you know what this counts as an event LMAOOOOO i'm thinking no one should actually have this power

Upcoming Projects

If I ever stop bemoaning my perceived lack of skill, I've got 2/3 of a fic that Vamp prompted dialogue for, largely me writing something fluffy and saccharine because she was trying to write smut and we were both trying to write out of our wheelhouses lol

Writing reflection

Well! 2023 was quite a year, honestly. I was going to be like OH HOLY SHIT about my word count but when I took our collabs, it dropped so fast, so that's good, I guess (???). I'm still so happy I discovered wrestling, because it's been easily 12 years since I had this amount of creativity for a single fandom. And this year I really stretched out and started writing new stuff within the wrestling fandom! That's exciting (depending what you followed me for, I suppose LOL).

But more than anything else, this year I looked at what I wanted to write and said, FUCK IT, I'M WRITING IT. And I started dropping horror shit I fully expected that no one would read, because I didn't think people came to fandom for spooky stuff??? And lo and behold, y'all really showed up for those fics! I'm forever grateful you saw me writing absolutely batshit horror and were like yes, Katy, we will also read this creepfest. So much love.

I also tried to write more smut, which I am not particularly adept at, and also some darker themes. I do try to write lighthearted things, haha, but my own mental state has been not stellar, and I think that tends to come out in my fics. And I started writing femslash, which this fandom needs so much more of! So. All in all, a real banger year for me in fandom. I'm pretty proud of a LOT of the fics I wrote this year.

And, obviously, 2023 would not be complete with me mentioning that Vamp and I produced an epic shit ton of words together, and MORE IMPORTANTLY had an absolute blast in doing so. What a whirlwind writing together has been!!! I think we've really gotten to this point of just great flow, and I'm super proud of how we work so well like we do. We DO HAVE SOMETHING ELSE COMING but we've been "planning" it since August and haven't written it yet, so HAHAHA. Anyway. Expect that in 2025, or something. ;)

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please do eat glass, I’ve heard it’s good for your gums.

Tagging: @whysamwhy123 @meeplanguage @fille-lioncelle and anyone else who wants to take a stab at this!

[shootingstarpilot]

Fic Writer 20 Questions

Thanks for the tag, @merlyn-bane!

1.) How many works do you have on ao3?

Eight!

2.) What's your ao3 word count?

217,911

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

*sobbing* Star Wars, my beloved. The brainrot is real; I am consumed. When I was still on FF.net, though, I had stuff up in Harry Potter and How to Train Your Dragon.

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

back then, i was dauntless

how to bring him home

if i don't make it back (from where i've gone)

though some would harm you

like lightning changing hands

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I absolutely do! I feel bad because I know I've gotten some lovely comments on chapters that aren't the most recent one, and those tend to get lost in the inbox, but I promise I'm working on it- if you get a response from a comment you left a year and a half ago, don't hold it against me 😅

I do it because I want so badly to build community here! I love getting comments from people, responding to something with a wee hint of a tease because I'm AWFUL and then getting a keysmash of a response and then exchanging snippets in the comments, truly, it fills me with delight- and I've met some absolutely wonderful people who I got introduced to by responding to comments-

Anyway. Community. That.

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh. Hm. Hm.

I... guess it would have to be though some would harm you? Although I'm not sure if I feel confident in that designation, because it's very much part of a multi-work series. And I'm too much of a sucker for happy endings to write a stand-alone fic that doesn't have one, I think.

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh, neural plasticity, for sure! Short and sweet <3

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

A bit. I can brush off the "actually the Jedi were the real monsters" assholes easily enough, but honestly, the comments that hit the hardest are the ones that clearly come from people who think they're offering ✨constructive criticism.✨ Not only because I didn't ask for it, but also because saying my work is "fatiguing" or "I'm sure there's a decent story here, but it's being buried under what you're trying to do with it-" there's nothing constructive there.

Side note: the person who left that last comment deleted it about half an hour later, because when I went to reply, it had vanished from my inbox. I don't know if they did that because they didn't want me to be able to reply, or if they realized that what they said was unhelpful and mean, but if they ever happen to see this-

I still got the email, prick.

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Write? No, I haven't quite worked up the panache to try. Reading, on the other hand...

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I do have snippets of one crossover that I actually posted in an anonymous collection, ha- an old BBC Merlin/ Good Omens/ Supernatural fic that I dug out of my old documents. Other than that, no- unless you count the Prequels and the Clone Wars as different enough to qualify as a crossover.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also not that I know of- very much open to it, though!

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Since I don't think taking drabbles in tumblr chats to ridiculous lengths counts, I'd have to say no- I'd like to, though!

14.) What's your all time favorite ship?

Codywan. Fiercely, unwaveringly Codywan.

Just to reinforce this- 292 of my bookmarks consist of Cody/Obi-Wan. The next most common romantic pairing (Aziraphale/Crowley) has less than half that, at 121.

I'm a goner, and I can't even bring myself to regret it.

15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

OKAY SO I've written snippets of a modern AU focusing on Helix, Needle and Stitch, and I'm totally gonna take this opportunity to rage about it. I'm probably never gonna finish it, but it gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling, so, hey- what else is fic for, really, if not for indulging yourself?

At first, it's just Needle and Stitch. It's just been the two of them, for as long as Stitch can remember. Needle's only a few years older than him, but he's raised him, kept him in school, kept a roof over their heads and food on the table-

Food on Stitch's plate, at least.

Then, one night, Needle does not come home.

A hit-and-run, the nurse tells him, although the words will not trickle through until much later. A coma.

He will not, they say patiently, come home for some time.

(There is so much that needs doing.)

Helix, meanwhile, is studying physical therapy at the local community college and working part-time at his brother Ace's bakery.

It's during one of these shifts that a skinny little twerp comes in and hands him a job application.

(Rent and bills and Needle Needle Needle-)

It doesn't take Helix long to realize something is... off.

Ace tells him not to push it, but-

The kid's a good worker. Great, as a matter of fact. He's never late. Stays past closing, too, if they've had a rush. He tells Helix about his brother and nothing else.

(His brother hasn't come to visit.)

Everything that's not sold at the end of the day gets packaged up and given out. They only toss in the dumpster what's really, truly inedible- stuff that got dropped in the kitchen, scraps left over from customers-

He thinks it's raccoons, at first, until he peers in and sees Stitch flatten himself against a heap of bags in the corner.

They package up leftovers for him, after that. A bit more than leftovers, maybe. Ace sets aside sandwiches. Helix buys him a thermos and tells him it's been in the lost and found for over a year. They make sure he eats.

(Needle's getting transferred out of the ICU.)

Stitch is trying. He's doing everything he can, and more besides. But Needle's life is too expensive and he's buckling under the weight.

(He hasn't even grieved. Not really. No room. No time.)

Eventually, something has to give.

He does.

(He hadn't expected someone to be there to catch him.)

Featuring:

Helix stumbling into adopting first one, then two idiot kids

Ace being a supportive brother

Needle finding his way home

Mace Windu as Needle's (unfairly attractive, Helix thinks) neurologist

Obi-Wan as a hospital social worker who gets assigned Needle's file

Cody as Obi-Wan's husband, Helix's cousin, and children's book author (Stitch's favorite)

(listen I am WEAK for author!Cody, truly)

(Helix was totally the one who got them together and he regrets it every day of his life.)

Sheev Palpatine as the epitome of the evil of the American healthcare system

The Melidaan crew running a long-term, non-profit care facility that offers both in-patient and out-patient rehab services

16.) What are your writing strengths?

(I'VE PUT TOO MUCH THOUGHT INTO THIS. SHIT.)

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

I am, apparently, really good at writing breakdowns. >:3

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Dialogue does not come easily to me. I have to work a bit to hit my stride. But I think it turns out well enough!

Hm. Coming from a purely technical perspective here, I think the reader should be able to understand everything that's spoken in a fic. If a character says something in another language, then I think the best way to convey that is, "X muttered something Y didn't catch," or, if the listener recognizes that it's at least in another language, "X muttered something in French."

If the reader should understand it, then something along the lines of: "'I knew we shouldn't have trusted him,' X muttered in French."

If the POV character doesn't understand the language, it doesn't make sense to provide the reader with a perfect transliteration of what the other character is saying. The character wouldn't have that knowledge. It can really take me out of the fic when two characters suddenly start conversing in written-out sentences in another language, and I have to scroll all the way down to the footnotes for translations.

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

But then again, that's just my opinion- I'm sure others have their own thoughts on this!

20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?

Harry Potter.

Hell, I have to say like lightning changing hands, if only because whatever fic I'm writing at the moment is my favorite. It's the act of creation that does it for me!

(Also because it's such a good opportunity to explore so many relationship dynamics.)

No-pressure tags for @jedi-enthusiast, @themonopolyhat, @shadow-pixelle, and @foreverchangingfandomsao3!

[fayes-fics]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

I was tagged by @suspendingtime. Thanks my dear. 🫶🫶 Apologies I'm a little tipsy right now haha. 🤪

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

155. Ahem, hush you. I started writing 18 months ago. When I get a new hobby, I REALLY lean into it.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

481,485. Yup, almost half a million. Again, shhhh.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Only Bridgerton. Look, I have my hyperfixations, ok?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

On AO3:

In His Lap (Short Fic) 181 

Temptation 177 

The Lesson 155 

Insatiable 149 

Are We Friends? 148

Tumblr notes:

Second Son 3,436

Sonnet #29 2,199

Rescue & Ruin 1,841

Awakening 1,827

Temptation 1,788

Wattpad readers:

Innocence, 30,600

Benedict Bridgerton Regency One Shots 23,000

Kinktober 2022 collection 16,300

Anthony Bridgerton Regency One Shots 10,400

Moments 5,800

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes. Always. It's just wonderful to get feedback. I read and respond to every single comment. They mean the world to me, truly.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably No Good Advice. I ended up writing Moments multi-chapter as I (and a friend) couldn't bear the idea they didn't end up together lolol.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of them, tbh. I can't write an unhappy ending. Maybe the mushiest is Second Son, Moments, or It Had To Be You.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Luckily not much yet. I did get one hate anon early on. It wasn't about a specific fic, though. It said they didn't know why I had a 'please don't steal my work' disclaimer (the standard one that most writers here use) cos I was delusional that my work was worth stealing. 🤷‍♀️

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, it's my trademark. It's rare when I don't write smut. 😬 I'm not sure what is meant by kind of smut. I've written it all, from vanilla romantic sex to kink threesomes with harnesses and double penetration lol. I haven't had a request yet that I've turned down due to sexual content.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not yet. The closest I've gotten is It Had To Be You, which is based on When Harry Met Sally.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes, sadly, it has happened quite a few times now. I was so fed up with filing copyright takedown notices that I set up a Wattpad account to try to counter it.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. I've been offered but have turned it down. I have no way to check that any translation would get across the nuance I aim for. So I know that may be anglo-centric, but its how I feel for now.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not yet, but I am always threatening to lolol.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Hmm, tough one. I do love Kanthony tbh.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Benedict as a virgin. I just urghhh.... it's been a WIP for 17 months now. I just dunno why I won't finish it; I just get the feeling I won't.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I have no bloody idea. I'd prefer readers answer that tbh lol. My inclination is to say I don't have one, except perhaps a willingness to describe sex in ridiculous levels of detail? Is that a strength?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

World building. I will do anything to shortcut it. I'll find an economical way to describe a situation e.g. she's a widow; they're old friends. Got it? Good! Let's get down to business.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've done a smidgeon of French as I studied it for ten years. But I doubt I'd do another language tbh.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Only Bridgerton so far.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Bloody hell, I have no fucking idea. It literally changes depending on my mood. But I don't really care for my own writing that much, all I see is flaws lol. I guess the universe I would most like to write more for one day is Mrs Bridgerton and its sequel. Does that count?

No Pressure Tagging: A couple of my talented writing moots were tagged along with me on this (the lovelies @colettebronte and @eleanor-bradstreet). So lets go: @thebabblingbrookenook @fiction-is-life @ferns-fics @silverhallow @mothdruid @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @urchintoast 😁🧡🧡