#i guess. but choo choo chew is in there!!! i thought it was fun to see the scotty/ben and sam/adam showdowns plus the whole hiding in the | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tomdiddlyumptious · 5 years ago

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PP| House Of Disaters

Summary: you and peter do a lil sum sum and your dad catches you, causing something unexpected

Warning: smut in the beginning, probably terrible, language and flying couches.

A/n: i will still be continueing Pretty Colors, but with these pictures I couldn’t help it. This story is kinda like @spideyyeet go check out her tumblr!

“OH- oh shit! Peter don’t stop!” Your words night pitched as peter is under the covers, eating you like a fucking animal.

He moans onto you in return, so good you don’t know where to put your hands. “Fucking shit pe-Peter!” You let out a distant moan.

“Yeah? You like it when I fuck your sweet pussy like this? Mmm” he swirls his tongue around your clit making you whimper and reach down for his hair, biting your lip and trying to buck your hips up.

“Ah ah. Take what you get” he remarks, wrapping his arms around your legs and shifting them down, licking a long strip of your wet womanhood, making you whine and tug.

“Peter please!” You whine, he chuckles and kissing your clit. “Don’t make fun of mee!” You whine again, pulling his hair making him grunt and run his tongue over your hole, slowly entering as you sigh. He raises the pad of his thumb and rubs your nub harshly, applying very tight circles. “Oh my god!” You let out a high pitched moan, trying your hardest to buck your hips up but it was no help.

He hums sending vibrations up you, causing your back to jolt. You scratch his scalp while he trails up, sucking on your clit and entering his fingers in your slit without warning. “Fuck!” You moan loudly, honestly not caring about who hears you. He rubs faster, you feel your body tighten as you desperately open your legs wider, itching for that release.

“Are you okay!” Steve busts in the door. Seeing your messed up hair and your mouth wide open with the print of your legs open under the covers, your eyes closed. “WHAT THE FUCK!” He lets out a high pitched scream, you wanting peter to stop, but of course he didn’t. He feels you are nearly at your release, and he’s not allowing it to pass, needing your release. “WHAT ARE YOU- STOP IT!” Steve yells again, looking at the body under the cover squirm a bit.

Peter shakes his head no, making you release on his mouth and chin, you yell peters name as he pulls away with a pop noise. “Sorry?” You say, more of a question, turning to your dad. Steve’s mouth agape in shock as peter comes up, wiping his mouth and giving a weak smile.

“Don’t you dare smile at me. I guess we are having sex Ed class now, please get dressed” Steve says weakly, he stance hunchaback as he walks out. “I can’t believe he put his mouth on my daughter” he mutters shaking his head, closing the door, just so Sam and Bucky can come in laughing, recording saying things like

“oh peter! You missed a spot”

“Oh no he didn’t, more like he hit the spot!”

You roll your eyes and throw your pillow at them, making them continue to giggle and walk out, also closing the door.

Peter chuckles and gives you a kiss “I’m sorry, I couldn’t stop. You just taste so fucking good,”. You bite his lip pulling away, tasting yourself on his lips.

“I know but like that was my dad pete! We need to go before he busts the door down” you laugh, getting up and cleaning yourself before putting on a fresh pair of panties, and out on peters boxers for shorts.

Peter bites his bottom lip and puts his shirt back on, smacking your ass and walking behind you to an interview room, that you guys had for whatever reason. “You look really good in these” he whispers.

“Thanks, cocky Parker” you giggle, sitting down on the other side of your dad, peter joining.

“This is professional, how dare you wear those small things to this interview” Steve says, highly offended and Sam and Bucky walk in and set up the cameras, Sam making a snarky comment.

“He must have a real small penis” Bucky cackles while peters face flushes, Steve groaning “this is my daughter for heavens sakes!”

…

“Alright, do you know how offended I am peter? Did you atleast brush your teeth this morning before you put your mouth, possibly your teeth, on my daughters privacy?” Steve says, his hands a certain way and his face in all seriousness. “You understand that you might have a mouth disease and you put that on MY daughter, even your fingers! Do you masturbate?” He adds on, making peter choke.

“W-what?” He asks, barely above a whisper. Hiding his mouth with his hand. Your eyes widen as memories play, Steve noticing and he whines and slaps his hands on his lap.

“What the fuckkk!” He whines, looking at Peter in a pleading way. “No! I haven’t! I don’t do that!” Peter quickly says, raising his hands to stop him any further.

“And you! How could you let him do that? How long!” He asks, you look at Peter then at your dad and shrug. “WHAT THE FUCK!” Steve yells making Sam and Bucky cackle behind the cameras.

“Let the kids breathe, Capsicle” tony says, walking in throwing popcorn in his mouth. “How would you feel if she was your daughter?” Steve snarks back, making tony raise his hands up in defense. “But she isn’t so I’m chillin” he shrugs, sitting on the couch watching behind the scenes.

Your dad sighs and sits up straight, peters face a bit relaxed because Tony’s here. “Did you guys- ya know?” Steve asks, putting his index finger between is circled index finger and thumb on the other hand. You suck in a breath, trying your hardest not to burst into laughter.

“Woah woah woah! What’s goin on here!” Thor says, coming back from training and his eyes stuck on Steve’s hands. “It seems here that peter” Steve lays his hand infront of peter “and Y/n” he does the same “did something that’s unforgivable, plus they did it RIGHT IN MY FACEE!” He yells while turning to peter, who’s face gets flushed again.

“Oh, well that’s cool” he pokes out his lower lip, sitting right next to tony as he laughs and hands Thor some popcorn, that he gladly accepts.

“NO NO! NOT MY BABY GIRL! PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS A LIE!” Wanda says, running in. She could basically hear Steve’s thoughts. You furrow you’re eyebrows.

“I don’t even know what’s happening” you turn to look at the camera, flipping it off. Bucky reminds himself to blur it out later.

“What’s happening is peter BASICALLY ATE YOU OUT!” Steve exclaims, everyone cringing at his words. Tony throws popcorn at the back of peters head, slowly.

“Mr-mr. stark! Stop it!” Peter says, finally turning around and rubbing over the spot, his face scrunched while tony just throws another one, making you laugh.

“Good job young spider” Thor cheers him on, Wanda turns to him and shakes her head.

“NOT GOOD JOB! ARE YOU NUTS?!”

“NO! NO IM NOT!” Thor stands up, pointing at Wanda.

“WOULD YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Carol yells, coming in the room filled with some avengers, Bucky and Sam nod in agreement and swiftly change the camera to carol.

“IM SO SORRY, BUT THIS ONE RIGHT HERE JUST DID SOMETHING WITH MY DAUGHTER!” Steve exclaims, throwing both of his hands at peter making him flinch.

“WELL IF YOU DIDNT WALK IN THIS WOULDNT BE A PROBLEM-“

“EXCUSE MEEEE PARKER!” Steve cuts him off making peter jump back, holding his hands on both sides of his head.

“Thor is crazy, this whole thing is crazy, Peter. Your crazy” Wanda says, turning to him and pointing at him. They turn the cameras and giggle behind them.

“The boy needs his deeds! Let him breathe, he ate the girl out, he thinks she’s delicious-“

“OKAY SHUT UP!” Carol cuts him off, extremely disgusted by his word choice.

“MAYBE YOU NEED TOO, PESANT!” Thor screams, walking up to her and also pointing at her ferociously, saying some very fine asgardian words.

“Brother do you know what sleep is? Because I’m trying to do that” Loki says, walking in. Only to be ignored and Carol screaming at the top of her lungs, her face mad and angry as Wanda also joins, teaming up on thor. But he doesn’t give up without a fight. He continues to scream also, Clint running up and holding him back.

Suddenly nat comes in and walks up to you, Steve, and peter. She sits on your lap and takes your hands to put them around her waist. “What’s goin on?” She asks, yawning.

“Peter is a fucking douchebag” Steve rolls his eyes, ignoring the commotion infront of him while Sam and Bucky manage to steal the popcorn from tony, who’s to busy tying his shoe.

“Wait how?” Nat asks, turning to look at Peter who scoffs and hides his face in his hands. “Yeah, how peter? Say it!” Steve exclaims again, throwing his hands and waving them up and down stiffly.

“I-I” he stutters, fiddling with his fingers. “Oh quit the act, you weren’t doing that when you put your nasty breath on my daughter choo choo!” Steve says, nat makes a face as if she’s trying her hardest not to laugh, she turns to you in the same face making you chuckle and nod. “It’s true” you mutter.

Scott comes in with a book in his hand, sitting at a small table, trying to read. But of course, the debate if it’s okay to have hands on your stuff is still causing commotion. It got extra extreme when Thor hopped on one foot to take off the other, throwing it at Wanda. She gasps and furrows her eyebrows, turning to carol as they both nod in agreement.

“HOLY-“ Bucky yells when the couch gets lifted, making Tony fall on the floor as he groans and sits down criss-crossed. “SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” Sam finishes bucky’s comment, turning the camera back and forth, as Steve also starts yelling at peter.

Scott starts to have a pounding headache, “BE QUIET, I just want to read and I can’t even do that!” He yells, making everyone turn to him, his eyes watering as he rubs one of them, the book in the other. Everyone stitches their eyebrows in confusion, looking around and seeing the couch not in its place, you, nat, angry hot head Steve, and Peter sitting in a casual interview. Sam and bucky’s face full of popcorn, only hearing their chews and Thor’s heavy breathes, Clint still holding onto him as carol has her hands on her hips, Wanda having her hands on her knees and gasping for air, Loki sitting across from Scott and looking at him as if he’s disgusted, but mentally he is thanking him.

Peter gives off a face making you look at him and giggle silently, Tony now laying down and smirking at you both.

“So….. did she taste good?” Sam asks, turning the camera to Peter and you, breaking the silence. You look at the camera as if you're in The Office, blinking your eyes repeatedly and your lips in a tight line.

“Let’s go” Steve says, standing up and exiting, everyone else walking out until he stops Sam. “Not you” he puts a hand to his chest.

“D-don't do this to me man, it- I didn’t mean it” Sam stutters, his eyes suddenly getting red and watery.

“Nah man, it’s good,” Steve says, softly pushing him in the room and closing the door. Locking him from the outside he rests his hands on his hips, turning to you and peter “not again”.

Everyone else got to their normal thing, except Sam. He sat in the chair until he got an idea to take pictures, he set it up and took a few, trying to make himself happy. “Eh man I fucked up” he sighs and sets himself in the tall chair, but smiling as he re-looks at the pictures.

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maraudererasmut · 5 years ago

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Experiment MJ001

TW: Drug and alcohol use. Mentions of drugs and alcohol use by minors.

Marjiuana is legal in my country. It has been for a while.

I’ve always been very nervous about things in my life. Not anything in specific, just things in general. I had spend so long being repressed by my parents, I had cotten it in my head that drugs = bad and since marjiuana = drug, QED marjiuana = bad.

Today, I decided to do something out of the ordinary and purchase a (legal) chocolate bar from the pot store and try it out!

So, I am currently high for the very first time in my life! (I’m in my late 20s)

I had an idea that I thought was brilliant at the time to write Wolfstar fan fiction about Remus getting high for the first time WHILE I was high and see what happened!

I also decided that I’m going to POST IT. Without editing it! (Pure, unadulterated chaos!!!) Now, for your viewing pleasure, the ramblings of a T on Pot. I have no idea if this is good or not. I haven’t read through it yet. I’ll probably wake up tomorrow, read this, regret it and delete it. But until then... enjoy!

((I’m sorry if it’s terrible!!!))

((I am also currently still high while typing this, so I apologize for any errors!!))

Remus had never consumed marjiuana before. Growing up, his parents had been very strict with what kinds of medication he was allowed to consume, particularly in regards to his lycanthropy. “You don’t know how it will affect the wolf, Remus.” “You don’t know what will happen…” “We can’t predict how the wolf will react…”

Magic had always been the go-to remedies for colds or maladies; Muggle drugs were never to be trusted in the LUpin home.

So when Remus got drunk for the first time, he made sure that his friends were around to help him through the experience.

Now, in his seventh year of school, Remus finally built up enough courage to ask his friends to, once-again, monitor Remus while he was testing the waters.

Remus sat with the three other Marauders, staring at the brownie in his hand.

“Are you sure this is safe?” he groaned, internally terrified of what may happen. The scent of the brownie wafted through the air, and Remus cursed his wolfish senses as his mind began convincing him that this might be worth it for the chocolate alone.

“”Yeah, I’m sure, Moons…” Sirius teased, licking his lips like a cartoon wolf sizing up a prized pig as he stared at his own brownie.

“Yeah, Pads and I have done this hundreds of times!” James chimed in, already half way through his. “It’s fine!”

“You’re not werewolves,” Remus grumbled as he turned to Peter. “You’re the sensible one, Wormy. What do you think?”

Peter stared at Remus for a moment before breaking out into a smile.

“I say fuck it!” he said, taking a bite out of his own brownie. “You only live once, Moons!”

Remus closed his eyes, took a bite from his brownie, chewed and swallowed.

Nothing happened.

No big bang, no swirling in his brain, no sudden rush of feeling.

“It’s… not working?” He said, turning to Sirius.

“Give it a bit, Moons! It takes time to work! It’s like alcohol!”

“Okay,” Remus said with a shrug, finishing the rest of his brownie. “So… what do I do until then?”

Sirius shrugged, but his smirk gave him away. He sat back onto the pillows and blankets that they had dragged to the ground, his head resting precariously close to Remus’ lap. He grinned up at Remus before reaching for his wand and giving a lazy flick into the air.

Sirius’ record player began to spin, and All Along the Watchtower began playing, filling the entire room and seeping into Remus’ bones.

Remus laid back on the pillows, his head next to Sirius’. He closed his eyes and let Hendrix drift through his mind, trying not to let Sirius’ scent drive him crazy.

Remus didn’t feel anything.

Not for a while.

He didn’t think it was even working.

The boys had spent the next hour talking, chatting, chilling, as they usually do on Saturday evenings. They talked about girls (James complaining about Lily), boys (Sirius’ trists with that Ravenclaw boy), and everything in between (Peter’s insistence that, yes, James, he is still Asexual. And no, James, he doesn’t need to double check.)

Remus didn’t notice the time passing as he laid on the pillows next to his friends, for the first time in his life actually being able to participate fully. They normally spend evenings hanging out in the middle of the room. James and Sirius always got high. They had since they had discovered Muggle weed last year. Peter had partaken on occasion, but usually insisted that he preferred a couple of beers over weed. Remus, on the other hand, remained sober all night, watching his friends fall into various states of inebriation, testing their limits, seeing new sides of themselves.

This was his first time.

Remus smiled to himself, thinking about how much fun it is to participate, even if he didn’t know what being high felt like yet.

“What’re you smiling about?”

Sirius’ voice was practically a purr in Remus’ ear, and he felt his heartbeat quicken.

“M’not… Not really. Just… happy to be here with you lads....”

“Mmm, same, Moons. Happy to be here… Today’s a good day to be alive…”

“That’s a weird thing to say…” Remus rolled over and looked at Sirius.

Was Sirius always that handsome? Did his eyes always sparkle silver in their conjured lights? Did his hair always look that soft and touchable? What would happen if Remus touched it? Was his skin always so pale, so milky while, Remus had to resist leaning over and tasting it. Remus edged his arm over slightly, comparing his own freckle-dusted arm to Sirius’. One was slender and perfect and tattooed and lovely. One was broken and scarred and ugly.

It was no wonder Sirius never noticed Remus.

“Whatya thinkin’ ‘bout?”

Sirius’ voice distracted Remus from his thoughts.

“Mm? What’d’ya mean?”

I can see for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles…

The Who was playing in the background and Remus watched as Sirius’ head bobbed up and down to the music, a wide grin spread across his perfect cheeks.

“I mean you’re thinkin’ of stuff. We all are… I am… That’s what makes things so cool when you’re high… You think of stuff…”

Remus blinked. What was Sirius even saying? What had he been doing? Was he thinking? He seemed to be thinking…

His brain felt like the needle was skipping across the record. Or that more than one record was playing at a time. Everything that was said out loud was one record in one player, and a vision of him talking to Sirius from a bird’s eye view was another record. And the way the music blended into his brain was another record.

Was this what being high was?

“I’m thinking of the music… I guess. And… Mrs. Robinson…”

“Ha ha! That’s that one Hufflepuff chick, ya?”

“What? No… it’s… coo coo ca choo?” Remus closed his eyes. His mind was feeling a bit foggy.

Put it in your pantry with your cupcakes…

“Oh! Yeah! Jesus holds a place for those who pray…”

“Hey hey hey!” James’ voice came from miles away. Or across the room. To Remus, it felt like both at once.

“Yeah,” Remus said with a grin, rolling over onto his left side to face Sirius. “Coo coo choo, Mrs. Robinson….”

“BOYS!” Peter hollered from the other side of the room. “Hot Blooded! This is my jam!”

Remus grinned, listening as the sound of guitar filled the room. He tapped along to the song, watching Sirius watch the ceiling.

“What are you thinking about, Pads?”

Sirius tilted his head towards Remus and gave a wink.

“That I’m hot blooded,” he said, his tongue resting on his fang.

“Pfftt… You’re just a horny mutt…” Remus teased. He felt an immediate pang of regret as Remus realized that Sirius was likely horny for a certain Ravenclaw boy.

“Mmm, bet you are too. Not that you’d ever date anyone… But I bet you’re real bad, Moons… “

Remus rolled his eyes, trying to keep his heart from exploding from his chest with terror. Why was Sirius talking about how horny Remus was? That wasn’t something Sirius ever talked about.

“You know how it is… not allowed. The whole… furry little problem…”

Oooh, I’m picking up good vibrations, oooh she’s giving me excitations…

“I’ve told you, just date one of us…”

Remus chuckled, trying not to show how much he wished he could.

“Oh yeah, James would totally ditch Lily for me,” Remus teased, listening to the Beach Boys suddenly start the quiet part of Good VIbrations.

“I didn’t say date James…”

“Oh, Sorry… Peter then… Yup. That seems like a great idea…”

Good good good good vibrations!!

“Are those really your only choices?”

Sirius was on his side at this point, facing Remus head-on, giving a sly grin.

Normally, Remus would laugh this off as a joke and change the subject. Perhaps talk about the fact that Sirius had American Woman on his magical mixed-record.

Today was different though. Today, Remus was feeling a little bolder. A little dizzier. A little more capable of looking at the situation differently.

Most days, from the very beginning of his life, Remus had been taught to be small, demure, less than other people. He knew not to make waves or say what was on his mind, because he was not to draw attention to himself. Today, for the first time in his entire life, Remus was starting to understand what it felt like to be a normal person. Someone who wasn’t a werewolf. Someone who didn’t grow up being told that they had to hide themselves because of societal pressures. Today, he could suddenly just say whatever he thought and felt and there was absolutely nothing keeping him from saying it.

“I can’t very well date you, Padfoot. What would that poor Ravenclaw boy do without you in his life?”

“Who, Spencer? Nah, we were never an item. Just fooling around…”

“Fine then,” Remus said with finality, trying to shrug while on his side. Whoooo are you? Who who, who who? “I suppose you’re the only person in all of Hogwarts who I can date.”

Sirius grinned his wicked grin, inching closer to Remus, his eyes positively smouldering.

“I suppose so. Guess we’re to call it, then. We’re dating now…”

Whooo are you? Who who? Who who?

Aaaawww, who the fuck are you?

“Hear that Prongs,” Remus said, playing along with the joke. “Sirius and I are dating now.”

“Well it’s about goddamn time,” James yelled back.

Remus chuckled to himself, but when he opened his eyes, Sirius was there. In front of him, their noses almost touching… There was a moment…

Whoooo are you? Who who? Who who?

Remus inched closer, rubbing his nose to Sirius’, just playing along, just being silly, just keeping up with the game.

Sirius closed the gap.

Remus sank into the kiss, feeling Sirius’ lips against his own, Sirius’ tongue tasting like chocolate and pot, Sirius’ hands suddenly around his waist.

Then Remus pulled away.

Who are you? Who who? Who who?

“Who the fuck are you?”

Sirius laughed, pulling himself slightly away from Remus.

“I just wanted to see how far you’d be willing to play along! I didn’t realize you’d actually let me kiss you!”

“Fuck…” Remus swore, starting to feel angry at Sirius. “Shit... I thought maybe…”

“Maybe what?”

“Nothing…”

“Maybe what, Remus?”

“Nothing, Sirius.” Sirius’ lips were against Remus’ again, but the werewolf knew better this time. He pulled away, his eyes narrowing. “Stop dicking around.”

“I’m not dicking around…” Sirius whispered, his voice dropping low and rumbly. Remus felt a chill down his spine as House of the Rising Sun played in the background.

“Don’t kiss me if you don’t mean it,” Remus grumbled, before he had a chance to think about his words and and regret saying him, Sirius was kissing him again. Remus tasted his tongue and lips and the thrill of kissing someone he had wanted to kiss for as long as he could remember. Sirius pulled away, his eyes gleaming and ravenous.

“I mean it,” he cooed. “I—”

Before he could continue, Remus was pressed into Sirius, taking advantage of his inebriated state and lack of over-thinking.

“Get a room, you prats!” James called across the room. Remus didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything except the feeling of Sirius’ body against his own, Sirius’ hands around his hips, Sirius’ tongue in his mouth, Sirius’ teeth nipping his lower lip. Everything was Sirius.

Remus closed his eyes and lost himself in his Padfoot. He silently prayed that things could stay this easy forever, but deep inside, he knew that would be a dangerous path to head down...

#wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #TW: Drug use #marjiuana #getting high for the first time #high writing #T tried pot #it's... wierd #My brain is melting

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crispychrissy · 8 years ago

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Surprises - Part 2

Summary: You received your surprise from Crowley, your very own Hellhound. Hunting with a Hellhound has been interesting, but things get complicated when some unexpected guests stop by. Characters: Reader, Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Crowley Word Count: 3725 (whoops, kind of went crazy) Warnings: Some minor angst, a few curse words A/N: Second and (probably) last part of this series. It was fun to write and I hope you enjoyed this story! Just in case anyone was wondering, the Hellhound’s name (Onchú) is pronounced “Un-Choo”. As always, I’m still a newbie and would appreciate any feedback you all can give!

Over the next six months, you adjusted to the life of having a Hellhound as a pet; although you didn’t really view Onchú as a pet. He was more of a partner that would show up and help whenever the shit hit the fan. All you had to do was say his name and he appeared at your side. He saved your life several times, including when you were almost killed by a nasty shapeshifter who had an interesting fetish for women with Y/H/C hair. You couldn’t help but shudder as you remembered him braiding your hair and whispering to you.

You doubled up on the amount of cases you were working due to the efficiency of having Hellhound assistance, but you had to be careful. Last month, you ran into another hunter on a job in a one-stoplight town in Southeast Oregon. He offered for you to help him with the small nest of vamps, but you couldn’t risk having to call Onchú in case the job went sideways. Judging by how many scars this guy had on his body, you knew he wasn’t a new hunter, so you bowed out and let him tackle the nest.

You were able to buy a new pickup truck thanks to the money Crowley had given you for the museum job, which was a welcome upgrade to the clunker you had before. Although Onchú didn’t need to ride with you (his whole teleportation thing was still pretty interesting), he did enjoy lounging in the bed of the truck while you cruised down the highway.

You were walking back from the grocery store when you got a news alert on your phone. You smiled at the prospect of another job and tapped the notification to read what it was. A body was found in the woods of a town about fifty miles from where you were, heart missing and torn to shreds. Werewolf, you thought as you reached your driveway and walked up the steps to your front door. The news article was from at least a day ago, making you question why it had just popped up now. The news algorithm must be having some issues again, causing you to sigh as you shifted the grocery bags in your arm and unlocked your door.

You closed the door behind you, flicking the deadbolt back in place, before shuffling over to the kitchen table and dropping the bags with a heavy thud. They had a sale on t-bone steaks, so you stocked up, knowing they were Onchú’s favorite snack.

“Onchú!” You spoke loudly before you heard the familiar pitter-patter of his paws thumping down the hallway. Your original assumptions about his height were correct; he stood about a half foot shorter than you. He stopped at your side and sat back on his haunches, watching you dart around the kitchen putting groceries away.

You had taught him a few commands in addition to the ones he already knew. Most were for safety reasons, like “hide”, “calm” and “freeze”, but you were currently working on teaching him how to shake. Probably not the best use of your time, but Onchú had grown on you and you viewed him as an adorable addition to your life. He also enjoyed the snacks you gave when you were training him.

You pulled out a fresh t-bone, causing Onchú to sniff the air and wag his tail, smacking it against the cabinet behind him, rattling the dishes sitting inside. “Calm,” you warned, to which he immediately ceased wagging his tail. “Good boy!” you smiled, cutting a piece of t-bone off and tossing it to him. He leaned to his left slightly to catch the piece of meat and began chewing it happily.

You were about to begin teaching him to shake again, when there was a knock at your door. You quickly tossed Onchú another piece of steak before commanding “Hide.” He chewed the piece of steak as he made his way down the hallway to your back spare bedroom, nudging the door closed with his nose. Nobody could see him, but you didn’t want any guests tripping over something they couldn’t see.

Wiping your hands and straightening your shirt, you made your way to the door and peered through the peephole, only to be met with a pair of brilliant apple-green eyes staring back at you. Dean Winchester. You’d know those eyes and freckles anywhere. You opened your door and smiled at the older Winchester, brushing a loose piece of hair behind your ears and taking a moment to appreciate his nicely fitting fed suit.

“Dean freaking Winchester. How the hell are you?” You pulled him into an embrace, eyeing Sam who was about a foot behind him. “Holy crap, is that Sammy?”

“Hey, Y/N.” Sam smiled and waved. You released Dean and stepped toward Sam, bringing him into a tight hug as well. “Come on in, you guys hungry?” You turned and walked back inside your house, missing a confused and concerned look the brothers exchanged before following you inside.

“I have some steaks and potatoes, if you guys are planning on staying. What brings you to my neck of the woods anyways?” You turned around to face the brothers, only to be met with a quick punch to the left side of your jaw and a pair of strong arms wrapping around your torso and arms. You groaned and tried to squirm, only causing the pair of arms to squeeze tighter. You wiggled your jaw and opened your eyes.

Sam was standing in front of you with the infamous demon blade in his hands, leaving you to assume Dean was the one currently immobilizing your arms. Sam raised the blade horizontal a few inches away from your chest.

“Get out of her, you son of a bitch. Y/N, you have to fight this.” Sam said, reaching into his jacket and pulling out a flask of holy water. Great, they think you’re possessed.

“Guys, I’m not posses-“ A splash of holy water in your face stopped your sentence. You sighed heavily, shaking the excess water off your face before opening your eyes. Sam furrowed his brow and tilted his head to the side, looking at Dean.

Dean quickly released you and walked around to your front next to his brother, sharing the same look of bewilderment that Sam had. You looked back and forth between them before running a hand down your face to wipe any extra water from it.

“You reek of sulfur, Y/N. We thought you were possessed. Sorry about the punch,” Sam said as he sheathed the demon blade back into his jacket.

Crap. You forgot that you were immune to the smell of Onchú. You chewed on your lip, trying to think of an explanation for the smell. It was too pungent to be explained away by ”bathroom business”, so you walked over to the large rug in front of your door and flipped the bottom edge over, showing a devil’s trap painted in red paint on the underside.

“It’s alright, Sam. I’m not a demon. Wouldn’t have answered the door if I was,” you laughed, trying to avoid the elephant…well, I guess Hellhound in this case, in the room.

“Why does it reek of sulfur in here, then? Were you summoning something? Me and Sammy were in the area investigating a werewolf case and thought we would stop by,” Dean said, cautiously looking around.

You walked toward the kitchen, avoiding the question again, still worrying your lip. You loved the Winchester boys and didn’t want to lie to them…but you know they have a history will Hellhounds and you’d rather keep them out of the loop. They do know how to keep secrets, and if you did tell them, they probably wouldn’t spread the news on the hunter grapevine.

“Y/N?” Sam’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts, as you felt a large hand rest on your shoulder. “Are you in trouble?”

You patted Sam’s hand and turned to face him. You smiled softly. “No, I’m not in trouble. I just…I don’t want you guys getting involved in it. Last thing I need is judgement from the Winchesters.”

Pushing past Sam and opening your freezer, you pulled out an icepack and pressed it to your jaw. You could already feel the bruise beginning to form and you were surprisingly proud at the impressive right hook that Sam had hit you with. You walked over to the couch and plopped down, tucking your feet up underneath you.

“We’re not going to judge you, Y/N. Are you working with demons? Did you make a deal? You know me and Dean are experts at secret keeping and problem solving. We’re just worried about you. Please, tell us what’s going on,” Sam said as he sat down on your recliner, Dean taking a position on the couch next to you.

You stared at your dark T.V. for a good thirty seconds, running through the possible ramifications that could come from telling them you have a pet Hellhound. They do know who Crowley is and have worked with him in the past, so at least they can understand the jobs you take from him.

At the same time, having a pet Hellhound is dangerous and taboo for a hunter, and could possibly cause them to cut all contact with you…and you didn’t want that. You sighed heavily and looked at Dean, then at Sam. You’ve worked with the Winchesters before and you trust your life to them. You didn’t want to lie, and you set up a silent prayer that they would understand.

You closed your eyes and wet your lips. “It’s better if I show you,” You chuckled to yourself silently. They actually wouldn’t be able to see anything, but they would get the idea.

Both brothers attentively sat up in their chairs at the same time, waiting for you to continue.

“Onchú.” Your voice broke as you firmly said your Hellhound’s name. You could hear the creek of a door and the thumping of his paws as he made his way down the hallway to the living room. Both Dean and Sam groaned as you assumed they smelled the sulfur and rotting flesh of your Hellhound as he stepped into the living room. Dean was quick, jumping up to his feet at almost the exact same time that Sam did.

“Y/N?! That…that’s,” Sam stammered as he slowly reached into his jacket for the demon blade again.

“A Hellhound. Yeah. His name is Onchú and he’s mine. He has been for the last six months,” You explained as Dean and Sam both backed their way away from you toward the entrance of your home.

“How? Hellhounds can only be controlled by Demons. But you’re not a demon,” Dean hissed as his back hit the wall of your living room.

“It’s a long story. Can you please come back and sit down? He won’t hurt you.” You kept an eye on Onchú as he slowly made his way over to where you were sitting. He kept his eyes on the Winchesters as he sat on his haunches in front of you. You scratched his head and rubbed his chest between his front paws. He closed his eyes and began to breathe in deeply, pleased with your touch.

Suddenly, Onchú stood up from his position in front of you and growled and howled, staring directly at Dean. He bounded over to where Dean was currently still pressed against the wall and began to rapidly sniff him. You could hear Onchú’s claws digging into your wood floors as his growl got deeper and louder. He was getting ready to attack. How? You hadn’t commanded him to attack.

“Onchú! Heel!” You yelled, standing up from your position on the couch. Onchú ceased growling immediately and but stayed in front of the older Winchester for a few seconds before turning around and returning to his position in front of you.

“Dean, I’m so sorry! I don’t know what just happened. He’s never acted like that before unless I commanded him to kill,” You turned to Onchú and commanded “Hide”. It would be best for him to remain hidden for the remainder of your conversation with The Winchesters. You watched him retreat down the hallway again and turned to look at the boys.

Dean cleared his throat and readjusted his suit, breathing in a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. Sam hesitantly put the demon blade away again and followed his brother back into your living room. Dean sat in the recliner this time while Sam remained standing.

“I’ve worked odd jobs for Crowley over the last few years. Jobs that require disabling security systems, breaking and entering, you know…stuff I’m good at. He pays me well and leaves me out of his vocabulary as long as I don’t go after demons. It’s not ideal, but you guys know that hunting doesn’t pay,” You began to explain, carefully watching the expressions of the brothers before you continued.

“Crowley had me break into a museum about six months ago and steal an athame that one of his minions had lost. He paid me, but also said he had a surprise. That surprise turned out to be Onchú. He’s loyal to me and completely obedient.”

“Yeah, not completely obedient,” Dean grumbled back at you.

“I’m really sorry, Dean. I don’t know why he did that. You haven’t been hanging around any Hellkitties have you?” You chuckled softly, hoping to break the tension in the air.

Sam smiled momentarily and made his way over to the couch, sitting next to you. “Is he still in here?”

“No, I sent him back to the spare bedroom down the hall. He knows things like ‘hide’ and ‘freeze’ to make it safer for us on hunts,” You explained.

“You take him hunting? That’s got to be…useful,” Sam sounded genuinely impressed that a hunter was using a Hellhound to work cases and kill monsters.

“That doesn’t explain why Fido almost made me a chew toy.” Dean’s cold stare was directed right at you, causing you to break eye contact and frown. “You said Crowley was the one who gave you the pooch?”

You nodded, not looking up from the cuticle you were currently picking at.

“Fine. Let’s get his ass over here and ask him ourselves,” Dean said as he pulled out his phone and rapidly tapped on the screen, sending a text message, you assumed. Dean tucked his phone back into his jacket and strummed his fingers on the arm of the recliner. You found yourself admiring how well-worn his hands looked; callused and rough from all the hunts he’s been on in his lifetime.

“Hello boys. And…Y/N.” Crowley’s voice snapped you back as he appeared in the center of your living room, across the coffee table from you and in front of the T.V.

“How’s Onchú? Has he been a good boy?” Crowley had a teasing and playful tone in his voice.

“Up until today, yes. He almost just killed Dean. Randomly jumped up and started sniffing him and growling. I didn’t command him to kill, and he did obey when I told him to heel, but it was still pretty unsettling. Any idea what that was about?” You questioned Crowley, crossing your arms over your chest.

Crowley huffed and looked over at Dean, before smiling and hanging his head. “Impressive. I’m surprised the pup remembers you.”

“Remembers me? What does that mean?” Dean asked with a sharp bite in his tone.

“That Hellhound belonged to Lilith.” Crowley replied. “Remember her? The demon you sold your soul to in order to save Moose’s life?” He turned to Sam. “And the one that Moose gave the ‘demonic love squeeze’ to and killed?”

“So…you’re telling me that the Hellhound that Y/N has…” Dean began.

“Is the same one that came and ripped you apart and dragged your soul to Hell all those years ago. Yes,” Crowley said.

“You neglected to mention any of that when you surprised me with him, Crowley,” You hissed, watching Dean’s expression change from anger to sadness to fear and back through again.

“I hadn’t the foggiest the hound would remember anyone. Once he got a whiff of Squirrel, he probably switched back to attack mode since he thought he killed him all those years ago. They don’t give up until the job is done,” Crowley shifted back and forth on his feet. “Once Lilith died, Onchú became almost lethargic. He was hers for centuries, and he refused to allow another demon to train him. That’s when I got the idea to see if I could train him to work with a human.”

You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose with your fingers. “All of this would have been nice to know when I accepted Onchú from you, Crowley.”

“Semantics, love. Now that you’ve commanded him to heel, he won’t go after Squirrel anymore, so problem solved. Now, if you’ll excuse me…I have some torture sessions to get back to,” Crowley said before he vanished from your living room.

You took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly, blinking a few times as the breath passed over your lips. You looked over at Dean, then at Sam, trying to gauge their responses. Dean basically had a huge bomb just dropped on him, and Sam probably wasn’t happy about this new development either.

“Dean, I…” You began, wanting to explain or offer your side of the whole ordeal.

“It’s fine, Y/N.” Dean interrupted. “I mean; the whole Lilith thing isn’t cool…but thank you for telling him to heel before he tore me up. Again.”

You flinched at the way he said “again”. Like you just reopened an old wound and rubbed salt in it. You looked over to Sam and offered a half smile. He smiled back and shrugged at you.

“Lilith’s Hellhound aside, we’ll keep this to ourselves. Dean and I have unfortunately had to work with Crowley before and we understand,” Sam offered with a warm smile.

“Would you mind if I called him back out here again? I want to make sure he knows your scent and that you’re a friend,” You asked, looking back at Dean.

Dean tensed for a minute before relaxing and quickly nodding twice at you.

“Hang on. Before you do, give me a second to grab something from the trunk of the Impala.” Sam said as he stood up and briskly walked over to your door and outside. He returned a few minutes later with two pairs of glasses in his hand. He tossed a pair to Dean and slipped his on his face before he sat back down. Dean fiddled with the glasses in his hand before breathing in deeply and putting them on.

“They’re treated with Holy Fire, allows us to see Hellhounds.” Sam explained when he saw your confused look.

“Handy,” You replied, “Ready?”

Both brothers nodded at you and you cleared your throat. “Onchú.”

You could hear Dean’s breathing speed up as you all heard the thumping of Onchú’s paws as he made his way down the hall and to the living room. You could see Sam’s eyes go wide as Onchú came around the corner. He ignored Sam and walked right up to you, plopping himself down in front of the couch between you and Sam. You rubbed his head and smiled, looking up at Dean. Dean was still tense, but once Onchú sniffed the air and didn’t charge at him, he relaxed.

“Dean, stick your hand out, let him sniff you,” You asked as you saw Sam reach out and slowly run a hand down Onchú’s back.

Dean looked at you for a second, making you think he was going to tell you to go to Hell, but he leaned up in the recliner and slowly brought his right hand to a few inches in front of Onchú’s nose. Onchú sniffed his hand before sticking his tongue out and licking the entire length of Dean’s hand. Dean grimaced at the feeling and retracted his hand, shaking the slobber off it. Sam chuckled and patted Onchú on the head, muttering “good boy” under his breath.

You stood up and, carefully stepping over Onchú, made your way to the kitchen, cutting a piece of steak from the t-bone still sitting on your counter. Onchú looked up at you and raised himself up on his haunches as you sat back down, obviously smelling the meat you had concealed in your hand.

“Dean, hold out your hand, palm up,” You asked. Dean complied, holding his hand out in front of him. “Onchú, Shake.”

Onchú raised his right paw and placed it in Dean’s open hand. Dean raised an eyebrow and closed his hand around Onchú’s paw, shaking it gently a few times before releasing it. You swore for a moment you saw a smile tugging at the corner of Dean’s lips. He cleared his throat and looked up at you when he noticed you staring at him.

“Good boy, Onchú,” You exclaimed, tossing the piece of meat to him. He caught it easily and chowed down, returning to his spot on the floor between you and Sam.

“This is so weird,” Dean muttered. “But, I guess as long as you’re not killing humans, we’ll keep this to ourselves.”

“Thanks, guys. I really don’t think any other hunters would understand,” You said quietly, looking down at Onchú, who appeared to be taking a nap.

“Yeah, for sure. You know you can trust us, Y/N.” Sam said, slapping his thighs as he stood up, careful not to disturb Onchú. “But, we have a werewolf hunt to get back to. You want to come with?”

“Of course! I don’t think Onchú has had werewolf yet,” You smiled, looking down at your Hellhound who was looking back up at you, responding to his name.

Dean stood up and made his way to your front door and opened it, letting Sam step through first. Dean paused and turned to look at you. “He’s not riding in Baby. It would take me weeks to get the smell out of the upholstery.”

“He doesn’t need to. You’ll see,” You chuckled as you grabbed your bag and followed Dean outside, locking the door behind you.

I’m throwing some tags in here from people who responded to Part 1. Thank you so much for the feedback. it means the world to me and I hope you enjoy part 2! @growningupgeek @roxy-davenport @wedontapologize @gettinjoyful @wholita @hennessy0274-blog @whispersandwhiskerburn

#spnfanfic #reader insert #sam winchester #dean winchester #crowley #miniseries #fanfic #supernaturalfanfic #spnfamily #newbie #crispychrissy

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sarahgirl1998 · 6 years ago

Text

Lumpy’s Sneezy Birthday

Lumpy sighed to himself in bliss as he listened to his friends laughing, talking and having fun. He could tell they were all enjoying themselves, and he was enjoying himself as well.

It was Lumpy’s birthday, and everyone in Multimedia had come to his birthday party, which was taking place at the Multimedia park. Mario was there, along with SpongeBob, Tootie, Unikitty, Yin, Yang, Kit, Kate and Gumball (Meowth, King Dedede and Escargoon weren’t at the party because they weren’t invited). And they had brought gifts that Lumpy was looking forward to opening, much more than he was looking forward to eating some of the cake.

But before any of his desires could be fulfilled, something got in the way.

While Lumpy was smiling to himself that he was having a great birthday, a massive and strong tickle made its way into his nostrils. They flared up massively, and he noticed. But before he could say anything, his breath began to hitch. He had to sneeze.

“Aaaaah... Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh...” Lumpy tilted his neck back as his nose twitched. He then gave a final inhale and exploded with a gigantic sneeze. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-- CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!”

Everybody - yes, everybody at the party - cringed as Lumpy released the sneeze. They could all see a good amount of spray being released from Lumpy’s mouth.

“EEEEEK!!!” Tootie cried in fear as she jumped.

“Whoa!!” SpongeBob said as he winced, caught off guard.

“Mama Mia!” said Mario.

“Oh, my goodness!” Unikitty said.

“Oh, my!” Yin said in surprise, while Yang simply looked on in amazement.

And Kit and Kate hugged in fear as soon as they heard Lumpy’s sneeze. Gumball, meanwhile, covered his ears with his hands as his eyes went wide with disbelief.

Lumpy recovered from his sneeze, sniffled and rubbed his nose with his forefinger.

“L-Lumpy! Are you alright?” Yin asked.

“That was awesome in more ways than one,” said Yang.

“Yeah, sorry.” Lumpy continued to rub his nose. “I don’t know how it happened.”

“I hope you’re not coming down with something,” Kit said.

“Don’t worry, guys, I’m fine,” Lumpy replied.

After Lumpy had finished saying that, however, his nose twitched again. He tilted his upper body back, gave a large inhale and released another sneeze.

“AaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!”

Everybody winced again in shock and surprise when Lumpy sneezed. Once he recovered, he rubbed his nose with his forefinger again.

“Maybe throwing this party at the park wasn’t such a good idea,” SpongeBob stated. “Not with this pollen in the air.”

“You sure about that?” Yin asked. “If Lumpy was sneezing from the pollen, I would be, too. And I don’t smell any pollen around here.”

“Yeah, that’s probably the case,” Yang said. “Of course, I can’t tell because I don’t have a lot of allergies.”

“AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” Lumpy released two more sneezes, the first uncovered, the second into both of his hands. He then groaned as he pulled his hands away and rubbed his nose with his forefinger.

“I think we should figure out what’s making him sneeze so much,” said Tootie.

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea,” SpongeBob replied. “But how are we gonna know for sure?”

“Besides, he sneezes from lotsa things!” Mario added.

“I’ll help!” Out of nowhere, Unikitty pulled out a box that had the words “Sneeze Things” written on it. She went up to Lumpy and showed him the box.

“This box is full of things that can make you sneeze. Some of us are gonna use a different sneeze-causer on that nosey of yours and see which one’s making you sneeze so much!”

Lumpy nodded in understanding once she was finished explaining that. Tootie went up to the box, reached into it and pulled out a flower. She showed it to Lumpy, who held the head of the flower toward his nose and gave it a deep sniff. Almost immediately, his nostrils flared up.

“Aaaaaah... AaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

After he released this sneeze, Lumpy sniffled and rubbed his nose with his forefinger.

“Hmm, that only made him sneeze once. And it wasn’t as strong as his other sneezes, either,” said Tootie.

“Maybe if I tickle his nose, it’ll make him sneeze even stronger,” said Unikitty.

Once Lumpy was finished rubbing his nose, Unikitty grabbed a feather from the box and tickled Lumpy’s nostrils with it. Lumpy’s nose started to twitch again as his breath hitched.

“Ah... Aaaaaaah... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH-- CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

Lumpy rubbed his nose vigorously with his forefinger, sniffling constantly as he did so.

“That doesn’t really work, either,” Unikitty commented. “That’s weird. The last time I tickled his nose, he sneezed so loudly you could hear it for miles!”

“How about this?” Yang asked as he picked up a pepper shaker.

Yin gasped and shook her head, trying to convince Yang not to do what she thought he was going to do. But Yang shook one puff of pepper into Lumpy’s face. Lumpy gasped, and then sneezed loudly, but not powerfully.

“AHHHHH-- CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

“Ugh!” Lumpy rubbed his nose with his forefinger, then pulled out his white handkerchief and wiped his nose with it.

“Oh, my! Bless you, Lumpy!” said Yin.

“Thank you...” Lumpy replied as he continued to wipe his nose.

“I could’ve sworn you’d be sneezing more than you are now,” Mario stated.

“Yeah, don’t you have a super sensitive nose?” Gumball asked. “And isn’t it super easy to make you sneeze a lot?”

“Yes, but I don’t know what’s going on, guys...” Lumpy shrugged. He put away his handkerchief. “But I wouldn’t worry too much.”

Lumpy went over to the table, which not only had the birthday cake on it, but a variety of snacks that his friends brought. Lumpy looked at what was available and saw a plate of chocolate chip brownies that Kit and Kate had made and brought. He picked up one of the brownies and bit into it. He smiled as he chewed and then swallowed the portion of the brownie he had bitten, and then took the rest of the brownie into his mouth.

By the time every part of the brownie had made its way into Lumpy’s stomach, Lumpy was feeling happy and satisfied. He licked the chocolate crumbs off his fingers.

“Mmm, that was so good...” Lumpy said.

Just then, however, Lumpy’s nose started to twitch, and his nostrils started to flare up again. Lumpy tilted his neck back as he was going to sneeze again.

“Aaaaah... Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh...!”

Everybody gasped in fear as they heard his inhales.

“Here we go again...!” Kit said to himself in fear, which almost sounded like dismay. Everyone quickly braced themselves, with Kate hugging Kit in fear, Mario backing up and trying to protect SpongeBob from being sprayed, Yin and Yang plugging their ears, and Gumball ducking and covering his eyes.

A final inhale later, Lumpy sent his upper body as far back as it could go, and then exploded with a loud triple.

“HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH-- CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! AAAAAAAAH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Haaaaaaaaaaah... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-CHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”

“Ugh, phew!” Lumpy enjoyed the relief he received as he sniffled and rubbed his nose with his forefinger.

“Oh, no...” Kate whimpered as she got a terrible idea. “Lumpy’s allergic to the chocolate brownies we made him for his birthday.”

“What?” Lumpy asked as he heard that. He then chuckled to himself. “No, I’m not allergic, you silly little kitty.”

“Then why’d you sneeze?” Kit asked.

Lumpy thought for a moment and then sweated a little. “I guess those brownies are a little too delicious...”

Suddenly an idea came to Unikitty. “Wait a minute!” she announced.

“What is it, Unikitty?” Lumpy wanted to know.

“I think I’ve figured it out!” said Unikitty. “Just one of those brownies must have made you so happy, you sneezed. The reason you were sneezing so much was because you were happy!”

Everyone else was in disbelief.

“W-What?! No way!” Yang said.

“That’s possible?!” Yin‘s eyes were wide and her pupils were shrunken with shock.

“Really?!” SpongeBob asked.

“Is it true, Lumpy?” Tootie wanted to confirm. “Were you really sneezing just because you were happy?”

“Um...” Lumpy rubbed the back of his neck as he blushed and sweated. “Yeah. I sneeze when I’m happy.”

“Wow...” Gumball couldn’t believe it, but then again, neither could anyone else.

“It makes sense now,” Mario said. “I never heard of that, though...”

“I know, it’s kinda weird when you think about it,” said Lumpy. “But what matters is that I’m not sick or anything, I’m just happy!”

As soon as he finished saying that, Unikitty flew up to him and cuddled his neck with her head. Everyone giggled as they witnessed the cute moment.

A few minutes later, everyone had decided it was time for some cake. Lumpy’s Friends were waiting around the table, gesturing him to make a wish and blow out the candles on the cake. As Lumpy was thinking, however, some sunlight got into his eyes, making his nose twitch. Another sneeze was on the way.

“No, wait! I haven’t made my--“ Lumpy couldn’t finish his sentence before his breath had started to hitch. He desperately covered his nostrils with his forefinger, but it didn’t work. He was going to sneeze.

“Aaah... Aaaaaaaaah...” Lumpy pulled his forefinger away from his nose, gave a final inhale and sneezed right onto the candles, blowing all of them out. “HAAAAAAAAH-- CHOO!!!”

Lumpy immediately put his forefinger under his nose again as he blushed a deep red. He couldn’t believe what had just happened. Everybody was looking at him, eyes wide and pupils shrunken with surprise. For the longest time, Lumpy felt embarrassed, but then they all laughed in amusement.

“Oh, Lumpy! That was so funny and SO CUTE!” Unikitty commented.

“Actually, it was!” Mario agreed. “I’m not into cute things, but... Mama Mia!”

“Aww! Lumpy, you silly moose, you!” SpongeBob said as he was enamored and amused at the same time. “I hope you do that again next year!”

“Bless you, Lumpy,” Tootie said as she giggled cutely.

“Thanks...” Lumpy felt better as he rubbed his nose adorably.

Once Lumpy had recovered from his sneeze, the cake was cut. Everyone had some cake, including Lumpy. Lumpy had taken only one piece, however, because he had mentioned that eating cake made him sneeze as well.

“You think it’s just the flour? Or is it too yummy for you to take?” SpongeBob asked jokingly.

“Probably both.” Lumpy took a single bite of his piece of cake and swallowed just before he felt a tickle in his nose. “H-here it c-comes...” Lumpy announced, and he began to inhale.

“Aaaaah... Haaaaaaah...” Lumpy put down his fork, pulled out his handkerchief and covered his nose with it. He gave a final inhale that caused everybody to look at him in surprise. “HAAAAAAAAAAAAH...” But then he released three quick but loud sneezes. “AH-CHOO, HAH-CHOO, AAAAAAH-CHOO!!”

Lumpy could hear all of his friends giggling as he wiped his nose with his handkerchief. “Um, excuse me...” he apologized, cutely.

“Lumpy, why do you have to be so cute?!” Gumball asked. It was rare for him to ever call anyone cute, no matter what they did, but when he did, you could tell he wasn’t lying.

“I... I don’t know,” Lumpy replied as he blushed.

“It’s okay, Lumpy, you can be as cute as you want to be,” Yin said with a smile. “I gotta say, even though I don’t like when most people sneeze, your sneezes can be really adorable!”

Lumpy smiled as he continued to eat his slice of cake. He kept sneezing as he did so, but he kept covering his nose with his handkerchief and rubbing his nose afterward. Once his plate had been cleaned, Lumpy put away his used handkerchief and rubbed his nose with his forefinger.

“How was it, Lumpy?” Mario asked.

“It was really good,” Lumpy said. “Even though it kept making me sneeze... I just couldn’t help myself.”

Mario chuckled. “It’s alright, Lumpy. You are a unique guy, and I like that.”

When Lumpy got up and went to open his presents, Unikitty went over to him, holding a pink and blue gift bag.

“Hey, Lumpy!” Unikitty showed him the bag. “Interested?”

“Oh, thank you,” said Lumpy as he smiled appreciatively.

He took the bag and looked through the wrapping paper to see what was inside. Once most of it was out of the way, he saw something. He reached his arm into it and pulled it out.

It was a light blue tissue box, with lots of tissues inside. The box was covered in pink hearts and bits of black text on it.

“Oh, Unikitty, it’s very cute!” Lumpy said. “Thank you so much... But what are these words on it?” He pointed to some of the text.

“As crazy as this might sound, I had everyone sign it and write blessings onto it!” Unikitty said. “By the way, Meowth signed it, too.”

“Really?!” Lumpy couldn’t believe it, but as he let it sink in, he smiled. The idea of his friends writing him blessings as opposed to simple birthday wishes did seem a little silly, but at the same time, it sounded absolutely adorable - especially given how much he sneezed every day.

Lumpy was going to say something, but before he could, he suddenly sneezed again. This time, it was much quieter in comparison to his normal sneeze, and more high-pitched. It almost sounded like a girl sneezing.

“Aaaaah-chew!”

“Awwwwww!!!” Unikitty cooed, hearts and sparkles filling her eyes as Lumpy rubbed his nose with his forefinger. That sneeze was absolutely adorable, but then again, Unikitty found many things adorable.

Lumpy took a tissue from the box and blew his nose for one second. He didn’t need to do it twice, or even for any longer than that; one quick little blow was just the right amount of relief. He smiled as he wiped his nose with the tissue and read the text that his friends had written on the box. Indeed, there were phrases of blessing along with the signatures of everybody who had written them.

“Bless you~! Have a great birthday! Love, Tootie.”

“Salute! Bless you! -Mario.”

“May Neptune bless you today, tomorrow and forever! In other words, bless you~! -SpongeBob.”

“Bless you, Lumpy~!!! -Love, Unikitty.” Unikitty had drawn a little heart next to her signature.

“Bless you, Lumpy! -Kit and Kate.”

“Bless ya!” -Gumball.”

“Bless you and Happy Birthday, Lumpy. -Yin.”

“Gesundheit, Lumpy! Your sneezes are awesome! -Yang.”

“Gesundheit. Also, Happy Birthday. -From Meowth.”

Lumpy smiled to himself, as well as at Unikitty, as he kept wiping his nose with his tissue.

“Thank you so much, Unikitty,” said Lumpy. “This is the best and sweetest birthday gift I’ve ever gotten! Oh, and don't forget to tell all my friends I said thank you!”

He threw out his tissue, put his tissue box aside and gave Unikitty a hug. Unikitty quickly returned the favor and hugged him as well. Lumpy soon let go of her and went to open the rest of his presents.

#crossover #fanfic #fanfiction #cute #funny #humor #comedy #sneeze #sneezing #sneezes #sneezed #lumpy #mario #spongebob #unikitty #tootie #yin #yang #kit #kate #gumball

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