#i guess. theres always something so
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well basically its so over for me (it hasnt even started) (we will be so back eventually)
#moral ocd + anxiety + deep self hatred combo hitting like a truck so bad lately. throws up all my internal organs#but at least#theres something#i guess. theres always something so#whatever man#awoo
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@foundthatoldzeppelinshirt what did u do to me...what in the wattpad is this... i only planned to do a few doodles but then i kept getting more brainrotted and things got out of hand LMAOO (and ofc i HAD to draw hockey player seb at SOME POINT bc its my duty as a canadian citizen🫡🍁🍁 O CANADA!!!)
#my dad loves hockey and i grew up with him just yelling at the tv and saying WATCH THIS! WATCH THIS! OH DID YOU SEE THAT??#the only time i would watch/found it interesting was during shootouts or whenever fights broke out BAHAHA god... theres so much fighting#the amount of blood i put on seb isnt even an exaggeration or anything out of the ordinary if youve watched hockey LMFAO#tho something i always found super cute about hockey is that the players always give each other head pats on their helmets its ADORABLE#my dad always tried to get me into hockey and now i guess i finally did something hockey related LMAOO are u proud of me papa???#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy sebastian#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian x mc#clora clemons#choccyart#ask#i love drawing clora in white and blue she looks like a snow fairy#and idk if its just bc im in canada but we constantly went to the skating rink for field trips and stuff in elementary school#nothing like skating on freshly zamboni'd ice mmmm thats the STUFF#going to a christmas market today as well im excited i hope they have FOOD
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Hi!! Your Cherik is so good and gorgeous 🤩🤩 If you don't mind wanna try to draw some Fall of X Cherik please?
thank you so much !!
i have a couple of ideas relating to the fall of x period specifically since theres. A Lot i wanna play with, so i hope this lil thing may be a satisfactory start :]]
and the obligatory bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#fall of x#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#for clarity on of this tag ramble im calling magneto max OK ok#sorry it took me a while to answer- ive been busy this week !#but yah like i said theres a lot of Fall Of X moments i wanna poke at#one i really wanted to doodle around was max's time with the shadow king from Resurrection of Magneto#the third issue is prob my fave in general if im so tbh .... but i wont prattle bout that ill go back to my previous prattle#i dont think i have a comic in mind prob just a doodle with shadow charles....#i mean if im devious enough i can def turn it into a comic but for now i just know i wanna do something with that#honestly even this moment i might revisit when i have more time to draw something. a lil better#i dont hate this its a sound start- but i THINK i wanna draw a smooch. a lil kiss. idk we'll see#cause im cheeky like that. 'will this be the last time i see you' 'girl idk we can kiss about it though' etc etc#god not to get off topic but im so curious what will happen with these two ... but thats for a diff post i guess#honestly if you guys have any runs i should read lemme know !! i just finished way of x and bar that ive just been reading the 60s issues#i have a couple on my list i wanna check out but im always excited to look into recs if yall think theyre worth it !!#but ya. thats all from me for now#my time is so finite this week i hope i can draw these sillies again soon .. i have a lot of ideas i fear#maybe i can sneak in one more doodle tonight ... <- doubtful
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tged webtoon ep 176 spoilers except its mostly me having a great time bc the panels this week were incredibly fun YAY and thoughts below the cut
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oh my god these motherfuckers are up to their scheme again. LMFAOOOOOOOOO LOOK AT THEM HAHAHAHAHAHA
IT'S SO FUCKING FUNNY THAT THEY'VE MASTERED THIS ROUTINE. THEY DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO TAKE TIME TO PREP ANYTHING JAVIER JUST KNEW. THAT'S SO GOOFY LMFAOOOO I LOVE THESE TWO SO DAMN MUCH HAHAHAHAA
also obsessed w javier's expression. whenever he has these moments his expressions are always the BEST because theyre SO MINIMAL. the slightest curl of his lip,,, the menace in his eyes,,, compared to lloyd's expressions, javier's are always technically lowkey, but the artist always gives that lowkeyness an extra edge in the art that completes the entire panel. i love javier's expressions so much WAHAHAHA THEY'RE SO GOOD
LOOK AT THEM BEING MENACES ADLFKJSLDJKF absolute thugs. god it's like when they're together they sync a braincell that tells them to go Scheme mode. they're so ridiculous i love them sm,,, alicia ur gonna have to get used to this LMFAO
ALSO I AM SO SO HAPPY LLOYD IMMEDIATELY WENT TO COMPROMISE W THE SPIRIT KING. I KNEW U WOULD THATS MY BOY ILY BUDDY!! i really like how nice his expressions are here,,, i want to think that there's a part of him in there that's actually genuine abt this. esp w the panels that are upcoming,,,
like he looks so soft here! it's sweet,,, i'm really glad he's doing this,,,
AND THEN THIS. THIS PANEL OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. THIS IS GORGEOUS I HAVE TO SHOW IT
REALLY enjoying all these soft lineart from lighting moments that the artist is putting in. god i love this so much,,, there's a metaphor in here somewhere,,, idk,,, i like this a lot!!! alicia seeing pieces of suho's heart poking thru,,, like sunrays,,,, hehehe sweet,,,, so sweet,,,
i love this panel to pieces but i do think its funny af that in this panel lloyd is crouching like that LOL what a creature ily bud
ALSO. ALSOO lets talk about what alicia's thoughts are here as she's looking at him,,, she says smth along the lines of "ur interesting to me bc i cant figure u out,,," and i love that a lot,,, maybe im looking too far into this but i read this as her saying "im seeing pieces of who u really are, i want to figure u out / explore ur true and honest self". she's learning more abt the side of lloyd thats empathetic, thats selfless, that brings out a good outcome for everyone,,,, she wants to see more of that side of him methinks,,,,, regardless of what she actually meant by this, it's a very cute moment and i really like it,,,
it again makes me think that alilloyd as a ship has soooo much potential. it could be so so good,,, this moment especially helps give it a little ground to stand on,,, i just wish there was a stronger foundation,,, it could be even greater,,, ohhh,,,, maybe in future eps who knows? we'll have to wait and see,,,
also hi artanis!! this line from her caught my eye i wanted to bring it up
im willing to bet that this belief is also one that was sourced from credos/jang-cheol, just like the rock paper scissors game and just the farming/pacifism schtick as a whole. it probably played a part in how he had to convince the demons to follow him in the first place,,,
this could also indicate that living honestly and working to earn is a principle that jang-cheol followed in korea, and he decided that he would stick with it when he became credos. alternatively, he had the complete opposite principle (he was a gamer after all, with a max level character,,, could imply that he spent all his time on the game) but when he got transmigrated, he realized that he had another shot at making a living honestly and decided to commit to that. there isn't really enough to make a solid conclusion on how jang-cheol lived, but this is an interesting indicator and i think it's worth a bookmark! i hope the prequel gets a manhwa so i can read it,,, manifesting,,,
oh also the railroad! yay!! y'know idk if this is quite the preservation of nature i had thought they would do LOL this,,, could be considered manipulating the ecosystem too much,,, but also i am not a biologist! so i wouldn't know! it looks nature-preserved so i'll take it!
seems like the demons won't be too far from home too, since they'll probably be the ones employed to run the railroad tracks once it's complete. lloyd essentially gave them jobs! yahoo!
AND THEEEN THE SECOND REALLY NICE PANEL FOR THIS WEEK YAYAYAYY WAAAAHHHH LLOYYYD LLOYD
i will be honest the glare is pretty uh. harsh but i dont mind at all bc YAYYY YAYYY NICE MOMENT WITH LLOYD YAHOO YAHOO. he seems and looks super tired here too,,, one of the panels before this was his heart freezing up again and alicia asked if they should stop bc of his heart, but he refuses,,, ghhh,,, stupid fucking martyr i love you stop doing that though please take a break
this panel is again another alicia pov panel and i really really like it,,, he's so Sun character to me idk how to explain that (javier is Moon to me). maybe ill break that down in a different post another time but yeah,,, yeah,,, sun and moon,,, yeah,,,,,,, also alicia is Comet. one day ill elaborate
and then there it is, goofy lloyd panel HAHA there's the greedy front he always puts on, welcome back! alicia's reaction too LMFAOOO she's sick of his antics /lh
like bud u dont have to say anything else,,, we know u care lloyd u dont have to put up the money part at the end anymore,,,,,,, goofy ass
their lil moment here was also rlly cute,,, alicia laughing at lloyd's antics and just. his big ass smile HAHAHAHAH so so cute i love this a lot,,,
and then the railroad got completed YAYY YAYYYY YAYYY ONE STEP CLOSER TO A HAPPY ENDING!!!
lloyd got like a jump ability and according to my mutuals thats not in the novel? so im curious as to what thats for,,, lloyd says it already but yeah he's a swordmaster now and has tons of other skills and summons too. what would a super jump be useful for,,,? so far, most if not all of his skills have had some use in the story,,, skills that are deliberately brought up like this are always used eventually. what in the world will a jump skill do??? what kind of situation will lloyd find himself in?? is this not almost over??? i'm so curious,,,
also this panel lloyd looks really tired, exhausted even,,, his irises look dulled and theres slight bags,,,, the construction plus the effects on his heart is probably doing him in,,,
and then we see him keel over LAKDFJLSDKJF
I GASPED SO LOUD WHEN I SAW THIS AND IM NOT SURE IF ITS OUT OF WORRY OR IF ITS OUT OF GIDDY. bc listen, on the one hand, oh my god im so worried for lloyd please be okay dont DIE. on the other hand,,, on the other, fic-brained character interaction-pilled hand,,, WHUMP WHUMP WHUMP CHARACTER WHUMP WHUMP MOMENT HURT COMFORT. YAHOO FIREWORKS EVERYONE CHEER!!! WHUMP!!! WHUMP IN MY TGED!!! WAOWIE WAOWIE WAOWIE!!!
sorry. my demons. anyway
alicia catching him is so good,,, sweet,,,, so sweet,,,,, ANOTHER POINT FOR ALILLOYD. again i wish the foundation for alilloyd was stronger, bc if they had established it in a better or more solid/connected way this moment would hit even harder,,, BUT NO,,, its missing impact for me simply bc alicia and lloyd do not talk/share/save each other enough. but it's so cute,,, sweet,,, this moment is nice,,, ghhh,,,, i feel heartbroken over this its bittersweet
and off they go,,, yes,,, a queen, her boyf, and her boyf's boyf. beautiful. alicia is carrying him again hehe,,,
off they go to get the eye of summer!! YAYYY!!! lloyd will stay alive!!! YAHOO!!! we are one step closer to beating fate and getting that happy ending,,, hold on lloyd, hold on everyone,,, it'll be over soon! if they don't get a happy ending i am going to cry and sob for forever and ever!!!! i'm serious!!!!!!!!
i genuinely had a lot of fun reading this ep the moments were all so fun and i'm very glad that things are looking up for them,,,!!! this does also worry me that there's going to be one more final obstacle before we actually get their good ending. bc now that i think abt it, getting the eye of summer does save lloyd but it doesn't stop fate,,, so,,, there might be more trouble ahead. but i'm not gonna worry about that right now!!! i'm coping!!! i'm coping.
that's all from me tho,,, i have to get back to the school grind,,, i'll see y'all next time!!!
#tged#the greatest estate developer#the greatest estate designer#lloyd frontera#tged lloyd#alicia magentano#tged spoilers#lynn misc#tged javier#javier asrahan#tged alicia#not a lot of bonus thoughts from me here actually#just that my courses r gonna get a lot worse from here on out so... hopefully ill still be able to post each week#its my favorite part of the week! gathering my thoughts and putting something cohesive together (or well as cohesive as my brain can get LO#im having a lot of fun reading and writing abt tged and i wanna keep doing it#ill prolly keep doing it long after it ends theres so much i wanna analyze and say!#especially since theres other works in the same universe to yap abt hehe#i used to always be a lurker in fandom but ever since my rottmnt attachments ive gotten more and more involved and that makes me happy#im very happy to be here and to just tged-out like this its very fun! im so happy#ok guess i did have a bonus thought after all LOL ill post now gnite yall
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ive been thinking about the red string superstition recently and also sol bufo always and it makes me sick how uncannily caldwell tanner has made sol to perfectly target me personally
(+ cropped versions !)
#naddpod#ba2mia#ba2umia#solum bufo#swag daniels#calliope petrichor#calder kilde#alexandrite#posts by me dot com#okay..... SECRET TAGS RAMBLE!#so basically this superstition is like ... i think a chinese/buddhist/taoist superstition?#ive taken some creative liberties with it... but its mostly accurate to how its been told to me?#but of course theres lots of variations! some more abt bad luck; some say to tie it on the doorknob#etc etc ... lots a variations#i was also rlly interested in the .... weird illogic? of the thing?#like the red attracts and repels spirits at the same time#so thats something i was thinking about with too. red is assocuated with both swag and alexandrite. which to me was kinda reflecting like#i think what murph said . swags place in the wild is in a way. an extension of what he learned from the network#mothership s inextractivle from sol and swags lives. they will always be held doen by it. thats the spirit that will follow them forever#that they choose to hold on too! as much pain as it brought ... some of the experience was worth it#and anyway. theres somethingwrong w me that the minute someone brought up this superstition my brain went#'ohhh just like sol!' < needs to touch grass moment#but i CANT BELIEVE. CALDWELL DID THE RED STRING. AND ITS LITERALLY A MOURNING RITUAL#caldwell keeps accodentally makig that frog ASIAN. to MEEEE!!!!!!#but. anyway. idk. ive always hced sol kept the piece of yarn and it makes me kinda .... what if y let the malicious spirits follow you.#and haunt you. what if its the closest you can get to keeping the person still around#and sol and swag obviously have so much about homes .... so!#(ok. weve reached the pt where maybe nobodys reading? so confession is this is sort of a well. ive just been doodling this comic everyday#after a wake. and it was sort of inspired after realising i was even a bit sad about it maybe. so. idk its about sol but also?#i guess the projection doesnt end at him being asian. hehe. is what i mean. LOL. okay secret tags over . buried lore. dont look here folks)
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Let down - Radiohead
#aspens art things#WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ONLY TOOK AN HOUR#WHAT ??#roblox#art#roblox art#digital art#roblox spraypaint#realistic spray paint#trans#transgender#symbolism#(youll never guess which tags go together)#trans symbolism#one day i am gonna grow wings#radiohead#lyrics#bright#ftm#color symbolism#except the symbolism is gender the complexity of it the perception you automatically gain and retain since birth#the perception you have to work for being just as hard as getting rid of the old one the fact that no matter how much you try to change#certain parts will never be ignored and you are stuck like that until you die. and even then you will always have it be part of you#because it isnt going away#and it wont#because it is you and so is your self so theres really no point in trying to cover it up and hide it away#something something#minecraft end poem#and the universe said everything you need is within you#and the universe said you are stronger than you know
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i know i shouldnt dwell on stupid opinions like this but a while ago i saw someone complain that Applin was a boring concept bc its just a worm in an apple and i was FLOORED. this iirc was in response to smth about gen 1 designs being boring as well
its not just a worm its a Wyrm its a pun. that is a concept. maybe you don't like it personally but to say its objectively bad is certainly Something. not every pokemon has to be based on a myth or something else fantastical to be a good concept. you Need "boring" pokemon for the dex to feel complete, if Everything is Cool then nothing is actually cool
"gamefreak is running out of ideas" yeah there's a billion fish pokemon but they're all actually very different to each other, lanturn is an anglerfish and lumineon is a butterfly fish. say what you will abt gamefreak rn its probably warranted but imo the one thing they still do right 100% of the time is unique concepts for each pokemon. the execution can be debated but the fundamentals are always there
#clai speaks#does this make sense#i get so annoyed every time i see the ''they're running out of ideas!!!!'' thing parroted all the time i had to say SOMETHING#like yeah you're gonna find some pokemon boring. theres a thousand of them now with all different designs#theres no way all 1000 are going to cater to you specifically. impossible#but to then fault the ENTIRE THING. get mad at people when they like the mon you think is lazily designed or boring or whatever#sorry not every pokemon can have the lore relevance of cosmog or reshiram or ogerpon? i guess????#you Need some toned down concepts for a good creature collector. or any game with a vast array of enemies to fight#are you expecting to go to route 1 and find reality-bending dragons there?#honestlyyyyy i don't actually even think gen 1 designs are Boring. yeah they aren't at the same standard as modern mons#but for the time they were perfectly acceptable. its been almost 30 years yeah things will change#maybe i;m just mad bc i'm a huge fan of several ''boring'' mons. fearow is so bland but i love it a lot#all the regional birds actually. no 1 unfezant defender#idk i should stop here i'm rambling too much. point is. i just wish people would stop treating opinions as objective fact#you dont like applin. thats cool. others do tho stop being pushy about it ok#i realize now maybe its hypocritical to complain abt others having these opinions its just. the way they always present it irks me yknow???#ahhh whatever. i think i;m making myself mad now JHDBJHBHJF#guy cares too much about pokemon opinions pt 126736
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i think my biggest problem with the pirate game is majima's absolutely unhinged emotional sheltering being presented as like. a good and healthy and normal thing. which. like. i SUPPOSE the only acceptable situation to do that in is with a child youre responsible for. but its still not acknowledged at all that its unhealthy..? but then again this is how kiryu saga has been for years too. youre just supposed to look at it and know better. they dont really spell it out. at least they didnt until infinite wealth
#its just like. these guys are making the best of a really bad situation#the really bad situation is. themselves#it was i think more obvious with kiryu because his life was ruined over it#and so was majimas but we didnt See majimas life in those games#so it feels like. the game is kind of. approaching majimas coping mechanisms uncritically...?#sure theres lessons to be learned from that but its like. not something to try and emulate#there IS stuff that is genuinely like. good. and healthy. and that i appreciate the writers for presenting in the way they did#especially the stuff with how. you can and WILL make mistakes. you will fuck up beyond your wildest dreams#and sometimes the consequences will be irreversible. but its never too late to start doing the right thing#majima does have a really good grasp of this. he always has its one of his biggest strengths#but his codependent relationship with kiryu IS like. actively ruining his life and his relationship with saejima#and he just does it all over again with noah. except its kinda warranted this time because it is an actual kid#but are we supposed to look at it and go aww. thats so nice of him#like. majima. you are not normal#tbf the stuff with saejima does make me think they are aware of this and want us to be aware of this. its just not the tone they wanted to#take with this game#i guess i wouldve preferred an infinite wealth style deconstruction of majima and his coping mechanisms#but its also SO majima to do. All Of This instead of. actually facing his problems#like hes stillllll running#thats the point#and saejima knows this. hes made peace with it#yapping#majima gaiden
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waiting for marvel to take you up as their comic artist so that we can have amazing art with cherik official storyline
marvel hire me to draw professor x and magneto making out sloppy style for forty issues straight you will get a BAJILLION dollars i promise
#fave#snap chats#'professor x' what are you a cop. moving on#vjeLKVJEALKV thank you much my friend one can only dream .....#you know whats so funny tho this just reminds me how like. My Number One Cheerleader was my highschool english teacher#she also ran the comic club in case thats relevant. because i was a part of that club OBVIOUSLY#i used to want to be a comic book artist but now i dont but anyway as a part of this club we'd have to draw comics sometimes#and alllll the time my teach would be so happy to get my stuff and she'd always be like#'[Snap] please promise me you'll never give up comics i want to read a comic from you one day' and stuff like that#i think id throw up laughing if i got to email her one day like 'omg hey teach 1.) im not a moody teenager anymore#2.) i got to work for marvel check it out <3' and i have to send her old man yaoi JLVKEJLKAEVJE#FUNNIEST TIMELINE IN THE WORLD I'D ACTUALLY DIE LIKE PLEAAAASSEE THATS ALL I COULD EVER WANT IN LIFE#on the realest note tho i didnt appreciate her enthusiasm enough. i wish i could tell her thank you someday#i think of her a lot whenever im in the dumps about my work she really is one of my biggest motivators#like i guess i COULD just shoot an email. maybe if i actually do something cool with comics or something#i dont even know if she remembers me so it'd just be bizarre wouldnt it#ANYWAYS. sappy story time's over theres a matcha crepe cake with my name on it BYYYYYEEEEE
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More background and slightly low quality Namor as I love him.
#namor#namor the sub mariner#namor mckenzie#marvel comics#comics#hes adorable#theres something about low quality namor thst i love so much#hes so pretty and cute#completely harmless#snarky yet pretty and adorable#hes always serving#serving so hard in the first 3 images#the way he stands is my everything#even whem hes laughing like a manic hes cute and adorable#i love it so much#im not sure how this is inappropriate but i guess
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one time eva told me that inigo was basically just a total drama character and i cant like that kinda hit me like a slap in the face but like in a good way because like. she was right. and that was several months ago but the concept was so good i sometimes just come back to it and now i have a question for the class
no i dont think inigo (or anyone else i excluded) would win but if you have a case for him im open
#fe13#polls#i think severa could do it but she’d have to pull a heather#where she starts off bad and goes through forced character development#i think yarne could pull off a flying under the radar kind of win#where him being a scaredy cat is just kinda like. ‘well hes definitely not gonna make it’ and then he does#but then like i feel like they could be fucked up and try to feed him rabbit or something and he would have to leave so 50/50#i dont think inigo would win i really dont#but i think he could go far#unfortunately i think he’d actually be good at the game but then. well. target#i think the same thing goes for kjelle which is why shes not here#but i guess theres always the possibility she just wins every challenge so it doesnt matter#i also just didnt want to write all 13 options it splits the vote too much#i think owain would be funny but i think hes also either 100% winning or the first one voted out#bc god… SHUT UP#how many of u guys have actually watched td#i feel like it was so popular but when i ask ppl around me theyre like What are u talking about#LIKE WHAT DID YALL WATCH AS KIDS HELLO….
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something thats always confused me is why people assumed early on that pomni 'saw something' while she was out in the void... like i dont see it in discussion anymore but that idea always confused me, cus i thought it was very blatantly a 'pomni is not processing what is happening because theres a lot going on and she was already struggling immensely and kinda freaking out before being full on launched into an area that has nothing but distant light and squares and nothing else and you are moving but youre not' thing
#i get the feeling the void is disorienting to be in like theres nothing like that irl#like the circus at least has a floor and walls and the grounds has ground and sky#but the void is just.... nothing#i think being flung there when youre already stressed as hell would be majorly disorienting#add onto the fact that she was trying to leave. she wanted to leave and she was clinging onto a gradually deteriorating hope that she could#like genuinely i think the exit doors and the rooms are like. that has to count as psychological torment#caine obv didnt want her in there and tried to discourage her from it#but i feel like being there at all is like. having the hope to leave dangled in front of someone and borderline cruel#not intentionally cruel on caines part but like. in terms of it happening it at all theres a cruelty to i feel#i think smth like that especially day one will Do Something to a person#esp coming from real life then ending up there#so ending up in the void would be a very damning moment. the doors were never going to go Anywhere#and i think its just a lot of things happening to her in that moment...#so i guess the fact that ppl seem to have thought she 'saw smth' felt a little like it was underplaying how fucked up all that was#and the idea that yeah. yeah that waas a normal response for her to have to that happening there wasnt anything extra#(also cus i think if she did see smth itd feel weird narratively#and also logically. bc theres not anything there im prettyyyy sure the void is effectively 'infinite'#shell never reach a screen the ending thing of the zoom out is not literal imo#maybe implying the circus isnt visible from the outside but thats it. the screen isnt a physical object in the circus imo)#anyway yea. i just think abt it sometimes...#circus discussion#ive watched a handful of reaactions and this is almost always the assumption ppl make and im like. huh??#not judging them cus like i feel like theres probably some sort of reason they thought that esp if its so consistent#maybe the tendency for audiences to. not fully comprehend the horror of fictional locations bc theyre on the outside looking in?#so theres a little bit of a natural disconnect#where if they do know its horrifying they still sometimes undersell it . not helped by a lot of media kinda underselling those things too#but i like what this show does w it
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smth ive noticed is that most all percabeth antis ive come across really just hate annabeth and baby percy on fanonized ideas of them. yall really don’t understand them fr and it shows. i wont say theyre perfect, they have a lot of shit to work thru from years of trauma and horrors beyond human comprehension, but they love each other so much and are truly best friends who want the best for one another. the percabeth antis come across hella misogynistic (and now vaguely racist with leah being annabeth bc the RISE ive seen in annabeth antis is insane and there is definitely some correlation) the way they nitpick every little thing annabeth does to make her some horrible villain when shes fr just a teenage girl and then they ignore the shit percy does bc he’s baby when they’re both just two teenagers with the weight of the world on their shoulders and facing all these horrible circumstances and monsters.
#blocking and ignoring isn’t enough#I need a gun#ANNABETH GET BEHIND ME#percy would fr hate yall so much 😭😭#btw it definitely shows in the content they put out whether it be posts or comments or whatever#like theres this one person on tiktok who posts these hc which sometimes have nothing to do with annabeth#but they way their mind created this idea reeks of something I couldn’t put my finger on#until I came across one of their posts liking and agreeing with all these anti annabeth comments and I was like#yep. there it is. knew there was something wrong with the way they were depicting these characters.#I thought we left annabeth hate back in 2013 but then again everything else in this fandom is exactly the same#always feels like I went back a decade when interacting with pjo content#I guess I shouldn’t be surprised#ugh yall annoy me#LMAO#edit: like okay I get prefering another ship like that is what it is you can do that whatever yknow#but. hating on annabeth to justify your ship? weird.
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its really awesummmmm to have body image problems in the world that we live in even trying to “eat healthily” always feels like subjecting myself to a disordered form of eating somehow because my palate is so rectricted already but when i just eat normal stuff that i enjoy like fucking TOAST i start feeling like im going to be killed badly and i overthink every meal choice i make and the amount of ambient Food Noise in my brain at all times is so overwhelming it makes me sick esp when all my “body positive” friends and family are always talking about diet this and diet that and protein shakes and what have you because it’s so insanely normal to do so and my algorithm wont stop showing me healthy cooking videos and talking about protein every meal, diet matters more than exercise, carb replacements tofu pancakes shut up SHUT UPPPPP!!!!!!!!! FUCKK
#i gained a lot of weight on my antidepressants and i cant just stop taking them but it is like fucking up my brain soooo bad to exist#like my brain knows its fine and normal but it doesnt even matter like i live with so much cognitive dissonance it’s become unreal#plus im on the Apps so my physical appearance really does have a direct impact on my life so im always thinking about it all the time#and it curtails with me being a picky eater which i feel like is heinous and morally weong on my part and i feel such an immense GUILT#about it while also being aware i cant really do anything about it yayyyyyy#and then even posting about it feels wrong because im like maybe externalizing it is worse blah blah blah#just feels like something is REALLY wrong with how i think about myself but theres no way to deal with it because#having that mindset about your body is literally the normal state of affairs in everyone else like#personal#flumps. i need to go do pilates now. i guess.
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i think i'm just fundamentally evil and broken ?
#went on a walk#it's so sad outside#i listened to the latest mitski album twice and i was on the verge of tears the entire time#i guess i thought time did heal old wounds but maybe ignoring and avoiding the wounds is not the same as healing them#im having thoughts and feelings that im so ashamed of#i dont feel like theres anyone i can tell this to im just afraid it'll change how they perceive me forever#im not even sure how to explain things to myself#am i normal am i wrong#all i want is to curl up into my bed and have someone take care of me#but i can't do that i need to grow up and there are things to do and i can't have everything i want always#i'll try and work on this assignement for thirty or forty five minutes or something and then ill allow myself to curl up into a ball and cr#or maybe i'll knit and watch something and get myself busy bc thats what i do#i just avoid the uncomfortable parts of myself thinking theyll go away or something#it's the greed#it's the greed.
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You can ignore this if you haven’t read it but is “Must we burn Sade?” By Simone de Beauvoir a decent read ?
I’ve heard it’s basically a defence/criticism(?) for Sade’s writings . Haha I don’t know the proper word to use for it .
I’m asking you since you seem very knowledgeable on de Sade and assume you read books revolving around him .
I would definitely recommend it if you're interested in how Sade's image has changed throughout the years. The 20th century saw a huge recontextualizing of his philosophy, especially in the European surrealist and existentialist circles. Simone de Beauvoir argued that Sade had been unjustly maligned/dismissed as a philosopher and redefines him as a moralist and feminist figure. ...Of course it should also be mentioned that several of the midcentury philosophers and artists defending Sade, like Beauvoir, were defendants of the abusive aspects of his philosophy as well (Beauvoir and Sartre were twice accused of grooming Beauvoir's students into sexual relationships with them).
If you follow me, you can probably tell I don't fully agree with her appraisal of Sade, but it's still a super fascinating essay, and there's still a lot of valuable analysis in it. Even just for historical/philosophical interest. I'd also recommend Angela Carter's Sadean Woman for a more modern feminist reading of Sade. And Laurence L. Bongie's biographical essay for the complete opposite lol (he argues Sade is NOT deserving of the praise he got during the 20th century, and is an overall mediocre philosopher and writer). Honestly any Sade analysis is a good read in my opinion, regardless if I agree or not.
#I just love analysis of Sade's work cuz it yeilds so many different interpretations#It's just... he said so much batshit stuff and with the pure intent to shock and horrify;#that it calls into the legitimacy of anything he says. Including his at times seemingly modern views#There are moments in his writing where Sade seems to be earning himself a place in early queer theory or feminist thought#but then you flip the page and he says something so outlandish that it's obvious hes joking#So was it all a joke? Or is he being sincere about all of it? If hes fully sincere; does that discredit the previous insights#in a 'broken clock is right twice a day' way?#Or is it mixed sincerity and satire? Then how can anything he say be taken seriously?#How much should we factor in his life to his philosophy? He certainly didn't always practice what he (seemingly) preached#but neither did many philosophers; neither did many of his contemporaries#theres just a lot of ways to read Sade I guess#ask#anon ask
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