#i have SO many things to say i have so many comments on this doc also i couldn’t pick a title for the LONGEST time and i finally decided on

[crossbackpoke-check]

it’s all the rest of what i want with you

connor dewar/brandon duhaime :: 8k

Summary:

“Brandon,” Connor says with a sigh. “There’s no baby in there.”

“Not yet,” Brandon says. Connor feels his stomach twist, almost like what he would imagine a baby kicking to feel like.

in these trying times of dewvorce, may i offer you 8k of pwp inspired by @stillfertile’s wonderful art which i had. several breakdowns about 🫶 anyway please enjoy!!!

[nogodsnomorales]

Know that I am going to get pretty serious here, as this post is about Punkflower. I am going to talk about the age situation, the blatant racism ABOUT this ship, and to also talk about the ship itself*. There is also some talk about the shippers/non-shippers + Punkflower antis in general.

[*nothing negative! just like.. discussing it as a whole, because everybody needs to be aware of some important things. the shippers, non-shippers/people on neutral ground, AND the haters/antis.]

There is a BIG wall of text incoming, but all of it is organized to its very best at what I could do!! I first wrote this in docs, I did my best to make it not a whole chaotic mess to read through. It's a big post, but there's a lot of spacing and some text is coloured, so it will be very easy to read.

This is a very detailed and THROUGH post, so it is slightly recommended to read on computer for the best viewing experience.

[It's not needed as you can still just read on your phone/etc, I do want you lovely people to have the best viewing experience possible.]

There will be an expand button, so I will not clog your feed and the tags.

TDLR;

Dear punkflower shippers,

your prayers have been ANSWERED. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT SHIPPING PUNKFLOWER NOW 🙏

punkflower shippers, do not live in fear no more, for I am here now.

Sincerely, 

tumblr user: godunforgiving

Edited Note (06/21); FYI, I am muting this! Read the edit change log at the end of this post for more information. If you have any concerns or inquiries regarding this post, do not hesitate and feel free to DM me!

punkflower talk/analysis(?) + talking about Hobie’s age

This entire post is a discussion of various things, of my own thoughts and opinions! Some of the talk is about the posts + comments I have seen other people say about this ship [mainly questioning and worried ones.] All of the pieces of information that I knew were scattered, so I wanted to gather all of what I could find, and put it in a singular post for those still worrying.

[Also where others can actually just refer to this post and just read thru here first, instead of having to spend a lot of time going through the Punkflower tag to desperately find info!]

I would have gotten this finished and posted days ago, but you know, usual IRL things slowed me down, and I had to spend my day in the ER yesterday, lol.. I’m okay as of now! Just have to take it easy, but I really did want to finish writing my ass off with this post, since I know it’s important to me and for many others out there.

Take your time to read through this, and please absolutely feel free to add any of your input/extra knowledge/anything that I should add onto this post. DMs can be the best, or just through the comments can suffice, because I can and will edit anything into this post [that is accurate aka there is backed up evidence/sources to go along with it.] If you do want to see something added here, just tell me and I'll see if I can manage!

I genuinely hope that this post can be helpful to you, as it will be helpful for me!

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Please know that; I will directly quote from many people, as all of them will be credited properly by being mentioned down below and leaving their username (that is linked back) with their respective quotes, because their own pieces of text really helped build this post! I cannot thank each person enough.

Do not be a piece of shit and go after or ‘witch hunt’ any of them. Respect their own privacy and being.

users mentioned (IOOA): @comfortingnightmare, @luvvnobo, @ghostspider-isms, @saltylemonade13, @artisan-is-bored, @bellamer, @uglynavel, @peachypea0ny (fyi, site is not allowing me to tag), @crownecromancer, @raspberryjars, @spideyzpoolsp, @hamiltonforpowerpoint

[If you are one of the mentioned people, and you want yourself to be removed or become anonymous, please let me know ASAP!]

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Notes:

If you are colourblind (some of the text is coloured fyi! colours used are blue, pink, and purple), or have difficulty reading text due to it being too small, or can't read the font, etc, please let me know! I can give you a google docs link of this entire post that is best suited for your needs. No, you will not be a burden to me. Your needs are very important, and I will want to assist with the best that I can do with that!

I, godunforgiving, am on a mix of a positive + neutral ground on the topic of shipping Punkflower. I absolutely adore the comic!Punkflower, and I am fond of ATSV!Punkflower with the way I view it. Reason why I said neutral, know that I am not against the ships by any means!! But I guess why I say that is because there wasn’t a lot of canon media to consume [ATSV!Punkflower], and I want more [Also note that I have NOT seen the movie yet.] I don’t usually ‘do’ shipping when it comes to various franchises, I guess it’s mainly just not my thing? But I do know that I’ve come to like Punkflower.

I do not ‘do’ discourses, nor do I intend to actively join them! This is my first time doing something like this / this being my first ‘discourse’, yet I hope for it to be my last. I made this post with the pure intention to help the Punkflower shippers. Do know that!! I know that many people do not like the topic of discourses, but this one and the problems I’ve seen revolving around Punkflower, I just have to say something. Bc idk if anybody else is going to [with the way I did this post], considering the mess that occurred days ago, but someone has to and has to do it properly.

I am autistic, so I may process words + information differently, or even ‘incorrectly’. So if a sentence doesn’t make sense, due to perhaps my misuse of grammar, etc, please do not hesitate to ask/reach out, and I can do my best to re-explain it to you.

Negative comments [and comments directly to this post where the person is actually spreading misinfo], will be deleted. Know that if you decide that you disagree with this post, then okay! I am not bothering you, just as I hope that you will revert to ignoring me, instead of hating on me. Please have the common decency to just be kind or even don’t say anything at all, and carry on with your day.

If you have any concerns regarding this post, do not hesitate to reach out to me.

this post was originally inspired by a friend, then originally created for @feuille-morte, but it is finished for the rest of the punkflower fans, ily all. take care of yourselves!! anything for these cute silly little guys ok (and the entire punkflower nation)

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let’s get started with an introduction.

“what is Punkflower?”

Punkflower is a slash [aka queer] relationship between two black male teenagers, Hobie Brown and Miles Morales. Usually, it is perceived a romantic relationship, as some other people only see the pairing as a platonic duo and such. I do not know more forms of Punkflower, but I will use the 'main' two forms in this post. Comic![SG!]Punkflower [SG is Spider-Geddon, a comic series first released on Sept 2018], and Across the Spider-Verse aka ATSV!Punkflower.

Think of it as the same ships with the same characters, but in different fonts.

Comic!SG!Punkflower has existed for nearly 5 years now, likely first existing sometime in late 2018 to early-mid 2019. Both Miles and Hobie are very close in age in the comics, at around 16 to 17 years old. Away from Spider-Geddon(?), but still on the topic of comics, Hobie is still 16-17 in the comics.

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“people are saying Punkflower is a problematic ship!”

The main [and probably only] source of this misinformation, is from a clip that was cropped to be posted with the intention of spreading heavy misinformation (We will get into that next.) So, as far as I am aware, and know; Punkflower antis are throwing around p/do allegations, because they hate the ship and they are outraged with people enjoying it. This hate is clearly rooted with racism, and homophobia. So, no, Punkflower is not a minor x adult ship!

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“the interview talk, what happened, and what is actually real?”

If you’ve watched the interview, you can easily see that they were talking about the brainstorming process of developing Hobie's early ideas for his character. A director mentioned that in the early concept stage, Hobie was originally going to be 19-20 [This wasn’t even our Hobie, but Prowler Hobie.]

A person cut a very small clip of the mentioned interview, and uploaded it, a clip that was EXTREMELY out of context. 

The uploader cut out the part explaining that Hobie’s ‘original’ age had changed as his character was being developed.

So from this, and no context given, a lot of people were instantly quick to hate; since it was on purpose to make the entire ship, AND those who enjoyed the ship, look extremely bad. What happened was not okay, yet this disgusting behaviour is at an attempt to be justified [and those people are trying to justify literal racism and homophobia.]

“19-20 thing that the directors mentioned were Hobie’s early designs ideas but those eventually changed as his character changed. Even one of the directors said its up to interpretation plus even his VA was all hinty towards Gwen and hobie so honestly its up to you what his age is" - comfortingnightmare

As soon as the clip came out, I had started to see a number of people saying that, apparently, Hobie looked like he was in his 20s to his 30s** (while also throwing subtle/discreet hits towards the Punkflower ship), but this was after the clip came out.

**Literally saw someone on Tumblr say that he looked like 28, and trying to shut down the idea of Hobie being a teenager. Like be completely serious with me right now..

Things don’t quite add up here. This was because of WHAT Hobie only looked like, and now it just has to be racially motivated, as there are no solid explanations or reasonings for their behaviour and disgust. Those people just look bad [as they should.]

So, no, Hobie is not 19-20. Another director had confirmed that Hobie’s age is UP TO INTERPRETATION.

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[TLDR; The interview got taken completely out of context from a clip that made people start throwing SERIOUS accusations left and right.. Since more people actually later found out that the clip was taken out of context [instead of doing research], the situation died down, but people are walking on eggshells now. The haters were being desperate likely because Punkflower is a black queer/mlm relationship, since there is no solid explanation for this hating.]

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“So.. what can we interpret Hobie’s age as?”

That is where I come in! I have many reasons that can help you decide what Hobie's age is to you. And those many reasons are speculated on Hobie's age being 16-17, as many users already guess that Hobie's age is equivalent to a teenager's age. I also believe this idea, as there are many things that already support this thought process.

[But if you like.. (god, I hope nobody does) go through this list and conclude that Hobie is 18+ and continue to ship that Hobie and 15 yr old Miles (or any of the minors).. GTFOH.]

1. Hobie Brown in other media (I’m talking about the comics for instance) is commonly shown for Hobie to be a teenager at either 16 or 17 years old.

“Hobie is in fact labeled as ‘badmouthed teenager’ since 2014 and is 16-17 in the comics and that just because he doesnt have a confirmed/canonical age in ATSV, hes still in the age range of a teenager (16-18)" - luvvnobo

2. Topic of the spider-bite. 

ATSV!Hobie is likely to be 16-17 years old (18 at the latest), meaning that he would have been bit at the ages of 13-15. So IF Hobie was bit 3 years ago / at 14 years old, then he would be 16-17.

Realistically, this really could have happened, considering Hobie’s living conditions! [aka what led to Hobie getting bit by a radioactive spider in the comics.] If he indeed gets bit at 14 years old (like how Miles and Gwen got bit at that age for example), then either 16 or 17 yrs old.

Again, with how he lived; if he got bit at 13 = 15-16 years old in crrnt events of ATSV. [If you don’t know of Hobie’s conditions, in the comics I’m pretty sure he, like, basically lived on the streets as a homeless teenager]

“During the "Spider-Verse" storyline, the Earth-138 version of Spider-Man is revealed to be Hobart Brown, originally operating as Spider-Punk. He is a homeless teenager who was transformed by a spider that was irradiated as part of President Norman Osborn's toxic waste dumping.” - Spider-Punk: Wikipedia

The topic of the bite / needing to know if Hobie was (x) age when he got bit, isn’t very serious, as he is already grouped with 3 kids.

3. It would be unlikely (and also weird) for a four man crew to be 3/4 teenagers and 1 adult;

WHILE ALSO implying that the mentioned ‘adult’ and one of the mentioned teenagers could’ve had something going on. [Even if nothing really happened (keyword = implying), and how Pavitr treated it in that way, implies that Hobie isn’t that much older than the three.] [I would have kept this reason combined with the Spider bite topic aka reason No.2, since it’s actually referenced off of pastelnightgale’s post, just that this paragraph alone is solid enough as a separate reason.]

4. Hobie’s mannerisms.

Note, I haven’t seen the movie, but I have seen many clips. From those clips, he’s definitely a teenager at least, it made me feel like Hobie was 16 or 17 years old. I’ve asked two of my brothers; they said that he definitely was their age [both being 17.]

“my two cents on the age debate is like. hobie doesn’t have the vibes of an adult even if his age is up to “interpretation”. like i’m eighteen and bro has definitely gotta be younger than that. he makes my “stupid younger sibling” sense go haywire." - ghostspider-isms

5. If you look up “how old is hobie brown”

You will already see many people speculating that Hobie is likely to be around the same age range as Miles and Gwen [if not a bit older.]

Again, Hobie is already 16-17 years old in the comics. 

“in the spiderverse, we have seen that it is common for most spiders (gwen and miles specifically) to get bitten around 14. hobie states he’s been spider-man for three years, meaning he’s most likely 16-17." - artisan-is-bored

6. “Like if Hobie is really 19+ then why is it only a problem with Punkflower?? Wouldn’t the whole love triangle thing be a problem????" - saltylemonade13

Yes. It would be a SERIOUS problem. It also would make the other ships [Chaipunk, others with minors in them] very problematic and illegal ships. But Hobie isn't 18+.

7. Ageing down process happening to various characters in Spider Verse, and Hobie non affected?

If Gwen and the other spiders are aged down in Spiderverse, then it doesn’t make sense that Hobie was not aged down like the others.

8. Hobie literally hangs out around teenagers.

If an adult is constantly hanging out with other children, then that obviously would be the first problem. I wouldn’t really need to keep talking any more about this one. Because if a 19-20 year old was spending a majority of his time around young teenagers, ages ranging 15 through 17, and not really with anybody else his age or above, then yes, that’s already weird.

“it’s also implied that miles is jealous of gwen and hobie. why would the directors make a key plot point of the story be that hobie is a grown ass man hanging out with a bunch of teenagers? and that he might have a thing with one of them???" - artisan-is-bored

9. Genetics do not matter within age.

This is one of my most common quotes by now. Hobie is indeed very tall at almost 6 ft, yes. No, it does not mean that he is above 18+ years old. Hobie can be over 6 ft tall and still be 16-17 years old.

I have seen so many teenagers at drastically different heights, but still be the same age. Many of them being over 6 ft [180 cm], and still being in my age range, and having met a 5’10” 8th grader [aka 13 yrs old] years ago. Both of my previously-mentioned brothers are 6 ft and over 6 ft, yet they are only 17.

“people can look one age and be another." - artisan-is-bored

“hobie’s description as a character. hobie is a foul mouthed TEENAGER. that has been his description for the past five years." - artisan-is-bored

10. “how do i tell them Punkflower has been a thing since 2018 or 2019 and they have interacted in the comics (they are close in age)" - luvvnobo

11. “He has to be an adult, because he goes to pubs!!” Let’s be absolutely HONEST here.

“dude is BFF’s with the Riri of his universe, she can probably whip up a fake ID in no time and even if Riri isn’t in the Spiderverse, he still gets around and knows people. he’s definitely cool with someone who makes fake ID’s." - bellamer

What bellamer said. To add onto this, a pub is different from a BAR as well.

If you look up “what is a pub vs bar” your first result will be this.

To also add, all bars in England aren’t considered pubs.

“If you’re 16 or under, you may be able to go to a pub (or premises primarily used to sell alcohol) if you’re accompanied by an adult. However, this isn’t always the case. It can also depend on the specific conditions for that premises. It’s illegal to give alcohol to children under 5." From the official GOV of the UK website

But literally, let’s be honest here, Hobie would already know at least one person who will help him get in a pub, if he cannot do so himself. If Hobie is constantly going to pubs, then that does not mean he is getting drinks 24/7 when he is there, unless stated otherwise. Pubs focus on serving food and to give drinks [upon request] to go along with the meal.

Before 1995, children under the age of 14 were NOT allowed in pubs in England and Wales. And Hobie is definitely by no means 14. He is likely 16, or 17. He can already drink, with adult supervision, at 16 in pubs. But we know that Hobie is no law-abiding Spider-man.

12. “Hobie wouldn’t be able to own his own place!”

“it’s a key part of hobie’s comic backstory that he used to be homeless. once again, the breaking the law point still stands. wouldn’t be surprised if hobie bought an apartment with a fake ID, was squatting, or was staying in some sort equivalent of the community center that he used as his main group’s operation headquarters in the comics.” - artisan-is-bored

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I do not think that another director/anybody who worked on the movie will come out and say that Hobie is actually 18+ at this point. I CAN be wrong in the future, but right now, he is not, and there are my reasons for why I strongly agree with the idea of Hobie being a teenager.

ALTHOUGH, even IF a director comes out and says that ATSV!Hobie is actually 18+, obviously all of the ATSV!ships with him and the other minors should STOP RIGHT NOW. But as of now [06/13/23 (when I first wrote this)], and from what we already know, I do not see anything wrong with ATSV!Punkflower and my views.

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The racism revolving Punkflower is disgusting.

I’ve seen a lot of people bashing Punkflower when the whole misinfo-hobie-being-19/20-situation occurred, but ONLY with Punkflower [from what I’ve seen.] I didn’t see any of this happening to the other ships that Hobie is in / shipped with Gwen, and Pavitr.

I have not seen any, quite literally nobody, complaining about any other ship that isn’t Punkflower, and it’s insanely overwhelming and confusing?? People don’t complain when it comes to Hobie x Gwen, but if it’s with two queer black boys? Huge problem all of a sudden.

“Love how when it was Hobie and Gwen no one batted an eye but as soon as people started shipping two black males together all of a sudden everyone’s disgusted and outraged” - uglynavel

“none of y’all had a problem w gwen and hobie, but when hobie started getting shipped with miles and pav? y’all got pissed. get your racist and homophobic head out of your ass. even if hobie IS an adult in the movie, that still doesn’t mean that shipping him with miles in the comics suddenly isn’t valid. newsflash, gwen is MUCH OLDER than hobie in his universe.” - artisan-is-bored

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Other quotes, that I wanted to point out, but I didn’t sort them into a spot;

“There are a lot more weird problems in the ATSV fandom, yet people are worried about Flowerpunk and whether Hobie is of age, or not. Those problems are full on grown ass people sexualizing Miles, Gwen, and likely more. There’s already stuff about Peter B. and Miles ship, and THAT is an active problem on hand. More people need to worry about all of that instead of a guy who has an up-to-interpretation age (but is strongly, likely, a 16-17 year old if not an adult.)” - peachypea0ny

“I can’t even enjoy comic versions of punkflower without me being called a pedo or having multiple fucking comments telling me over and over that punkflower is a proship.” - uglynavel

“I’m sorry it’s just really not fucking fair what In THE ACTUAL MOVIE it can imply something between Gwen and Hobie but the SECOND people started shipping two black boys together then it became a huge fucking problem, here’s the thing if Hobie is actually older and they never say that in the movie but imply something to the audience that him and a sixteen year old girl could possibly have something between them THEN THATS GROSS I DONT CARE HOW GOOD THE MOVIE IS! But Hobie is always, in other crossovers and his comics he is around 16, he has met Miles before in canon the ship’s not new, it was just small.” - crownecromancer (Edited to make sense, by me, godunforgiving.)

“punkflower is originally a comic ship, its been around for ages before atsv, its normal for shippers to crossover into different areas where the same characters are. he doesnt have an age on his wiki and why would he be said to have a love triangle with gwen if he WAS 19/20, idk why ppl have such a problem with punkflower but not with hobie and gwen??” - raspberryjars

“this is what happens when you believe in misinformation on the internet. no, there is no age gap, because hobie does not even have a canon age. if you watch the interview, instead of 10 seconds of it, he says it was early concepts of hobie. another director has confirmed his age is up to interpretation.. so. yall rlly need to stop with this, its weird asl. this whole thing was rooted in racism and homophobia, stop spreading misinformation I BEG.” - spideyzpoolsp

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Another disclaimer/notice;

PLEASE, PLEASE STOP BELIEVING IN EVERYTHING THAT YOU SEE!! EVEN IN TIKTOK OR TUMBLR!

IF it’s a piece of information that could be misinformation revolving around Punkflower or Hobie Brown, or anything, DO find out if it is real or fake asap!

I’m using a method that I remember from my elementary school that was constantly talked about [can’t believe I’d bring it up in a post about a ship years later], however it really does pay out and work anywhere else tbh. The “Stop, Think, Act method”.

STOP = Pause, if it distresses you; then take a breath to calm down, avoid doing anything on impulse aka don't do anything without thinking carefully beforehand.

THINK = Instead of the “what is the problem, what are the options, best path forward?” in the method itself, we will reuse this but change stuff up that can apply directly to this post. So after stopping and calming down, we will think carefully and review what we already KNOW. If it’s where the piece of information is easily seen/known as misinfo, then you are good. If the piece of misinfo is affecting something that we already know, then we move onto the next step.

ACT = “Proceed with the best option. Act carefully, and revise if needed.” The best option forward from thinking, is to do research, and make sure that it is actually real, and not misinformation with lies laced within. IF it is indeed misinformation, then it is the best to alert others, with proof.

If you are thinking “But why even mention that method??” The best example to use this method is with the age discourse blowup. A LOT of people believed in the misinformation very, very fast. What should’ve happened is that the mentioned method should’ve occurred early, to help prevent most of the freak out and its damages. But many users may not have thought of that, or even know the method, so it is okay. At least it calmed down a lot as of now, just that people are now likely afraid.

[Note; I am NOT blaming anybody!! I also freaked out a bit too, but I stuck to what I already knew, until I found more information. At first I heard “Hobie is 19-20!!!!” I figured that it must’ve been misinfo through what I already knew, because adding all of what I knew and this uproar of info, it just didn’t add up from what I alrd knew. but I still researched and did my homework!! Just that more people should naturally second-guess things that they are suspicious of and also be aware of that method and to apply it online, as it is already useful in real life!]

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Wrapping this post up, finally.

It’s sad to see different Punkflower fans fight each other. But it’s also outrageous and annoying to see the plat!Punkflower shippers, who see Miles and Hobie strictly in a brotherly relationship, to throw the term ‘!ncest / pseudo-!ncest’ against the romantical Punkflower shippers.. Like holy shit, that doesn’t make you any better. Can people, please, stop throwing serious accusations against other people so nonchalantly?

These accusations are SO serious and life changing, even if it's pointed at the wrong person. But people are just too ignorant to realize that unfortunately.

“You see him (Hobie) as 19/20 who’s a big brother to the other spiders? Cool! You see him as 16/17 rebel teen amazing!” - hamiltonforpowerpoint

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End post.

Reblogs, likes, and comments of your own opinions of this post are so welcome!

Again, ily all and take care of yourselves!!

and again, if anything you think that should be added onto the post, let me know! have a great day everybody

A friend asked what’s up with the discourse, asked me to make a post, after hours of research - I absolutely fucking DELIVERED. Love you guys.

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Edit #1 (06/15); had to reformat some things since it just looked broken to me! Using the editor on mobile is a PAIN.. 0/10.

Edit #2 (06/16); an edit update! I rewrote some things (to hope to make the post sound more better), added some stuff in the notes section and some throughout the post itself, updated the crediting so the quotes used are credited and linked back to hell!!!! bc crediting others is awesome! and the post is also def over 4.2k words lol

Edit #3 (06/17); An anon told me that I was “misusing” the 'proship' term, so I edited the post. Proshitters can go to hell for all I care. To clarify, I am talking about problematic shippers. Edit #4 (06/19); oh my god 600+ notes?? i hope all of you are having an EXCELLENT month okay.. i love you guys <3 /plat

Edit #5 (06/21); I am muting this! I saw some people reply to this post, but I just do not have the ability to respond to them (Selective mutism), I did write “drafts” to them, but I do not feel like polishing it and responding. Just busy with other things, honestly! I may end up responding some time later, so yeah. If you have any concerns or inquiries regarding this post, do not hesitate and feel free to DM me!

Every once a few weeks I may check up on this post as well, until I stop altogether.

[abibliophobiaa]

Hii hope you're having a lovely day

Can I get a forced proximity,fake dating smut with Eddie Munson and the phrase "come on I won't bite, unless you're into that"

this was such a fun prompt! below is 4k of eddie and r just being adorable as hell. warnings: fluff; barely edited because i’m at work and die like bob in the docs; fem!reader; smut, so 18+ minors dni.

-

It was supposed to be simple: show up to your ex's wedding with a date, so that way your friends from college wouldn’t look at you with pitying gazes that clearly said, “Look at the poor, sad, tragically lonely girl.”

For the record, you were none of those things. And maybe it was a little dramatic to think that way. Also yeah, maybe you received those questions from time to time—asked innocently enough, usually—when you planned on settling down, but what if you never wanted to?

But pretending, at the time, to be in a relationship seemed easier than avoiding all of those questioning stares and probing comments.

It had been Max’s idea, actually; you’d been helping tutor her for a college math test when she noticed the invitation on the fridge and you’d laughed about how it was your ex and you still frequented the same friend group, which meant being invited to his wedding was an absolute. You murmured to her in confidence that you really weren’t excited about going; mentioned you were the only one in your college friend group who hadn’t been married off yet or popped out a kid (you shuddered to think of either of the two).

“Why not bring a fake boyfriend or something?” She asked. It seemed so…silly at first. You’d arched a brow in her direction and chuckled to yourself, the tip of your pencil tapping against her loose leaf notebook absentmindedly. At your confusion, she proceeded, “You know? Ask Steve or Argyle…Eddie.”

“Don’t say Eddie like that,” you grumbled, chewing at the eraser tip.

The redhead flicked one of her braids over her shoulder, shrugging. “Don’t say Eddie like what?”

“How you did just now! You didn’t just say Eddie,” you explained, dropping your pencil down onto the paper. “You said Eddie. Like you’re insinuating something.”

“Yeah, like the big freaking crush you’ve had on him since you two were in high school together—”

“Your answer to number five is wrong.”

Max snorted. And that was that.

Luckily, Eddie’s amicable as he always is. When you suggest coming as your date, he’s quick to ask for times to pick you up and requesting the attire for the event. It’s an evening wedding, and he shows up in a dark suit that matches the color of his hair. The same suit that now rests over the back of his chair, the sleeves of his shirt beneath rolled up to the elbow, revealing endless whirls of tattoos he’s collected over the years since he graduated high school.

He’s—well, Eddie on a normal day is breathtaking. All dark hair that falls in waves to his shoulders, broad smiles, dark eyes that can see through your soul. Charming as hell, and just as charismatic. He’s the kind of person that brightens every room he walks into and graces with his presence.

Eddie at a wedding?

You’re practically heaving into your champagne glass with how disturbingly—and unfairly—handsome he looks, but he can’t know that, so you play it off that you’ve danced one too many songs and need a moment to collect yourself.

“Think the plan is working?” He muses, leaning over to sip at your glass. “Think we’ve fooled enough people so grandma over there can stop clutching her pearls asking if you’ve accepted your spinsterhood?”

Honestly, the whole fake dating thing isn’t as bad as you initially thought. Eddie’s been ever the gentleman, holding open doors, holding your hand, holding the side of your hip. It’s great for the optical illusion you’re trying to portray, but it’s terrible for the ever painful kick-thump throb of your heart in your chest.

“Why? You wanna get out of here?” You likely can. You’ve stayed for the ceremony, most of dinner. You’ve even danced with Eddie a bit on the dance floor, introduced him to a few of your college friends, let him press a kiss to your cheek during the ‘couple’s dance’ after he’d suggested you try on the lips and you nearly broke an ankle, tripping up in your movements from the mere suggestion of doing something so insane. “We could always head back to the hotel room?”

Oh—and therein lay the other problem aside from your cardiovascular symptoms as a direct result of Eddie’s proximity: the hotel reservation somehow got all mixed up and you only afforded yourselves one bed.

One.

Singular.

Eddie had reassured the front desk employee that it was no issue, but you’d slapped your card onto the countertop and asked—admittedly pleaded—if they could check again for another room. It was with pitying gazes that they advised, because of the wedding, all the other available rooms were full. Which left you and Eddie with a king size bed for the night.

“It’s fine,” Eddie had teased, tossing pillows down the center of the bed after both tossed all of your things onto the floor. “Here’s our bundling board. You better not try to jump my bones in my sleep now.”

The thought itself has your thighs sliding together, mind swimming as your friend’s ring clad fingers trail against your forearm, drawing you back to reality. You turn with a ‘huh,’ your eyes meeting his as he says, “I’m fine with that if y—”

You’re interrupted by the sound of Clarissa, your ex’s new bride, calling your name from another table away. You’ve been friends with her for years, studied in the same program for your undergrad degree, and remained as such even after she came to you one day in the library and asked if it would be okay to date Jared. And it was; you’d been broken up for some months, anyway, after all. All adults who could handle weird circumstances.

Just like right now, as Jared joins his new bride’s side and extends a hand to greet Eddie. “Is this the guy that swept our friend here off her feet? Nice to meet you…”

“Eddie,” Eddie says, reaching over to grasp Jared’s hand and shake it. He’s just as charming when Clarissa leans down and urges you both forward in tight hugs, giggling brightly over how nice the two of you look and blushing when Eddie speaks again saying, “You look beautiful. Congrats, you two.”

“Congrats you two,” Clarissa practically trills, clapping excitedly. She mouths over Eddie’s shoulder, “He’s gorgeous.”

You can only pathetically shrug in agreement before Jared’s asking how the two of you met and Eddie tugs you so close to him you’re practically sitting on his lap. Your hand manages to grip his thigh to steady yourself when your chair wobbles, and his palm swallows yours upon doing so. He lifts it up to his mouth to brush a gentle kiss against the back of it. Your skin bursts to life with a thousand bubbles dancing along your skin, though you chalk it up to the champagne buzzing in your system.

Heat coils again as he turns to look at you, brown eyes fathomless as he says, “Back in high school. She walked into first period math class and she waved at me and I knew it was all over after that. But we only recently realized we wanted to be more than friends; figured it was about time to take a chance. Best choice I’ve made in a long time, really. Now we’re inseparable. Unbreakable. Insatiable—”

You elbow him slightly, cutting his words off. “Insatiable, Ed?”

Clarissa and Jared are none the wiser. The both of them only lean into one another, Clarissa glowing with her bridal beauty and Jared looking like he’s fallen in love with her all over again as Eddie regales them with your fake relationship origin story.

“Can you act like you actually like me?” He grumbles near your temple, that palm curling around your hip again to draw you even closer. Heat coils in your belly once more as that mouth drops lower, hot breath fanning along the shell of your ear, his voice a husk of, “Relax. I won’t bite…unless you’re into that.”

So, maybe you can’t swallow the breathy sigh that punches its way up your throat. And maybe your thighs clench beneath the table. But they’re all mere side effects to the man hypnotizing everyone around him with his charm, casualties of the battle waging war behind your ribcage. Even so, the damage is done; the carnage remaining in the wake of your inner turmoil is evident in the slow curl of his lips, the proud smirk lining those presently devilish features.

He’s thoroughly enjoying himself—enjoying the effects his presence has on you, even under the guise of pretending you’re something you’re not. So if your eyes roll in your skull when he leans down and presses a barely-there kiss beneath your ear, it’s only because he’s really wonderful at the elaborate facade you’ve both concocted.

It’s only because, over the years of being DM, he’s perfected the art of performance.

It’s that and nothing more.

Call the casual touches and flirting throughout the night side effects of a few glasses of champagne and loosened inhibitions. Call the glances across the dance floor nothing more than intrigue and longing for a ‘what if?’ Call the brush of his fingers against your skin, the press of lips, the hand on your hip nothing more than part of an act. Because that’s all it is.

Or so you think and have conditioned yourself to think.

But that tension lingers long after Clarissa and Jared wish you well. It lingers in the breaths filling the elevator on your way back to the room, it seeps into the pauses in your conversation. It grows and curls like a bowstring in your belly, drawn tight when Eddie slides the key into your hotel room door and pushes it open.

“If I didn’t know any better, Munson, I would have thought you were flirting with me earlier,” you hum, a casual laugh breaking into the otherwise quiet of your newfound privacy with the man, toeing off your heels near the door. “And the little speech about how we started ‘dating’ was really convincing. Either that or you should reconsider a career in acting.”

“What if I was, though?” His voice is soft. Softer than it’s been all night, a tremulous breath that makes your stomach clench. “Flirting with you, I mean.”

Before you, you can see two options laid out on a platter: you push into unknown territory, a world of possibility should you choose to open your heart to him; or, you brush his affection aside and preserve what you already have, not wishing to disrupt the balance of your life as you know it.

Eddie is friends with your friends.

You’re friends with his friends.

When lines become blurry, relationships are put at risk. Sides might need to be taken. There are other people involved outside of the two of you. But a louder thought rings true. An understanding that it’s Eddie. Eddie, who has only ever put your own needs above his. Always first. Wanted what was best for you at all times. Would it, then, be such a terrible thing to be selfish just this once?

“If you were…” you begin, stepping across the room to meet him where he stands. Your fingers trail up to his tie, the dark red material like blood sifting through your fingers, “did you mean it? The story too?”

“Since first period math class senior year—well, your senior year. My first senior year.” He chuckles uneasily, palm moving to slide over the span of his shoulder, easing at a knot. Watches you slide your fingers up along the fabric, moving up to help loosen the knot around his neck. You fumble with it for a moment, his breath spilling across your forehead, your bottom lip between your teeth when he rasps out, “Can I kiss you?”

And you’re nodding your head rapidly, gasping as his hand slides up to rest against the small of your back, guiding your frame closer to him. You practically ooze into his chest, bodies warm and humming with anticipation as he walks you backward over toward the bed and groans into your bottom lip presently pinched between his teeth as you tug at his tie and drag him into the cradle of your thighs down to where you lay in a sprawl of limbs against the mattress.

“Oh…” He pauses in his ministrations, breaking apart with a gasp despite your whines of protest to run a palm along the mattress. You flop down onto your back as the man presses the same palm against the topper, watching it shift and move beneath his weight. “Oh this is nice. Much better than my shitty one back home.”

“Eddie…” His head jolts back your way, as if he remembers you’re lying beneath him, waiting for him to help you out of your dress, and drops a kiss down against the curve of your neck. You hum to yourself and grasp his chin, dragging his mouth near to yours. He brushes your lips once, twice, and you tell him, panting, “I really like you, Eddie.”

He sighs as your hands finally help free the tie from around his neck and you toss the fabric into the far corner of the room, fingers dropping down to start working on the line of buttons down his chest inch by inch until you’re met with dark ink and a trail of hair against the bump of his stomach that disappears into his waistband and has you leaning forward to press a kiss to his exposed sternum. Beneath you can feel the rapid thrum of his heart, can taste the salt on his skin, flesh still warm from all your dancing in the wedding hall.

He’s climbing over to the top of the bed, bringing you with him, and rearranging the two of you so you can lay side by side. One of his palms starts a gentle slide up your back to grasp at the zipper pulled all the way to your neckline. His eyes implore yours briefly, a gentle exchange with no words, and your head dips. The sound of the metal dragging down your spine reaches your ears, fabric soon pooling around your ankle before he’s tossing it over onto the far corner of his room with the rest of both your clothes.

You take a moment to look at one another. Eyes roving across skin, fingers following in their wake. He trails his fingers along your shoulder, down the path of your sternum, swirls a circle around the soft skin of your abdomen until your sides shake with laughter. You watch those exhausted eyes of his trail along the curve of your hip, the bend of your knee, the crux between your thighs. Nearly gasp into his collar bone when he hikes a thigh over his hip and draws you in for another kiss, and you can feel the hot press of him briefly—albeit too briefly—against your center.

Those kisses, burning with a fresh fervor, draw breathless sighs from your lips. His words against your skin, telling you how beautiful you are, how he’s wanted this moment, how he wants to watch you fall apart against his fingers when he asks if he can touch you have you mewling with want, shuddering at the first brush of his fingers through your slick, warm and welcome between your thighs.

But it’s in that languid exploration that the two of you start to slow down, champagne bubbles that still linger in both your bellies making your eyes more and more tired with each passing moment, fingers becoming gentler, lingering longer. He sighs when you lean over to brush a kiss against his throat and suck, but it settles in the air and you can’t help the airy giggle that spills from your lips when one of his hands waves lackadaisical in the air as you ask, “Falling asleep on me, Munson?”

“No—no,” he groans. He presses a gentle kiss to your throat, and feels your pulse skitter beneath your skin. “Jus’ g’me a second. Wanna make you feel good.”

It’s a shame, a sin really, how even in his tired, partially blissed out state, Eddie Munson still has the power to make your insides liquify. Especially when those eyes start to flutter as he tries to focus his attention on you, lashes lingering longer and longer against the tops of his cheekbones in his efforts to stay awake.

With one last press of your mouth against his, you slide off the bed and help yank down the comforter enough so he can crawl inside, sleepy sighs spilling from his tattooed chest. Satisfied, you clamber in beside him and smile to yourself as that same chest aligns against your spine, arm looping low around your waist, and you both drift into a slumber.

It’s early when you wake again. Sunlight starts to filter in through the windows, the clock to your left reading seven in the morning. Luckily, it’s a Saturday and your check out time isn’t until eleven, which means more than enough room to shower and get ready to head back home to Hawkins. You’re about to clamber out of bed when you feel Eddie’s hand against your stomach shift. Butterflies burst to life at the gentle caress of his skin against yours, fluttering away only seconds later when the man in question grumbles, “Oh shit. Oh shit, sweetheart. I fell asleep.”

“You did,” you giggle, your calf brushing along the hairs lining his own. He groans, face pressing between your shoulder blade, hips flush against your ass and you continue, “It’s okay, though. You were tired.”

“We were…and I was…shit.” He huffs against your skin, hooking his chin over your shoulder to then brush a kiss against the plushness of your cheek. Then once more in that space beneath your ear that has you shuddering against him.

He starts a slow path along the side of your neck, laving kiss after kiss into your flesh, trailing down your shoulder. He starts to mark his way back upward, igniting every inch of you with a fresh fire when you gasp out, “We, ahh—mmm—still have a few hours before we need to leave.”

For emphasis, to really drive home your wishes in the moment, you slide your thigh up and over his, your hips moving backward to press needily against where you know he’s hard already. Those talented hands of his that strum along his guitar at the countless Corroded Coffin shows you’ve been to begin to work a slow path up your thigh, calluses tantalizing against skin. You push back harder against him, feeling his returning roll of hips against your ass, seeking out friction, craving release. But you have all morning.

You have time for the gentle slide of his fingers down the front waistband of your panties, the whine you release as his middle finger parts your center from entrance to clit, drawing out three slow circles that have you nearly begging him to fuck you right then and there. Still, he’s patient. Takes his time stroking against your center, listening as you coach him through what feels good, telling him to speed up, slow down. His other hand, not occupied with drawing out your pleasure, grips yours and slides it against the pillow nearest your head, a chuckle spilling from his lips when your head turns and you whimper into your pillow, asking him for what you need.

“What did you just say, sweetheart?” He murmurs against your bare shoulder, hissing when your hips push back into his hardened cock. “Tell me what you want.”

“Mmm—” He slides a finger inside you, drawing a slow circle, opening you around the digit before adding another. He repeats the question, low and sensuous in your ear, a purr that has your eyes pinching shut. “Want you inside me, Ed. Want you, want—”

Those fingers at your center slip from you, your chest heaving as he reaches over onto the nightstand nearest to his side of the bed and fishes out a blessed foil packet. You hear him hastily tear it open, the bed shifting and dipping in his efforts, before he’s pressing his chest back along your spine and hiking your thigh up and over his. The hand previously holding yours against the pillow above you slides back into your own, and your vision blurs out around the edges as he pushes your panties aside and drags himself through your folds from behind, catching on your clit, before slipping inside.

Your mingling hisses at the initial stretch of him turn into quiet moans as he starts to pick up his pace. He pastes sticky kiss after sticky kiss into your shoulder as that hand of his moves around to slide against your throat, shifting your head up and away from the pillow you’ve buried it within. Your eyes meet his, and between the constant roll of his hips as he moves within you, the fingers splaying across your neck, and the words he babbles into your lips about how tight you are, how good you feel, how you’re doing so good for him, it all quickly become too much.

He catches the flicker across your features, the way your sounds pick up in frequency, the rasp of your breath through your lungs. Against your lips he mutters, “Come on, sweetheart. Touch yourself for me, okay? Wanna watch you.”

And you’re quick to do as your told, palm sliding down your stomach until two fingers meet your clit, rubbing in the way you know you like, matching the frantic pace of Eddie’s hips, pulling back and then slamming into you again and again, driving you closer and closer to utter bliss.

“Oh—fuck—I’m so close, baby.” His fingers around your neck tighten, lips pressing against the corner of yours as you work yourself in tandem with him, the sound of skin slapping together muffling the cries spilling through your parted lips. “Tell me you’re close.”

You come before him, nails pressing down to etch crescents into the hand holding yours above your head, murmuring his name over and over again like a prayer as his lips claim yours once more and swallow the moan he lets out as his body jerks a few times and then stills behind you, shallow breaths puffing hot and frantic into your kiss.

When you both finally catch your breath, and you roll over and turn into him, he pulls you close to his chest and grins into your shoulder, asking, “What are you doing next weekend?”

And it’s that next weekend, at Jonathan and Nancy’s wedding, that you go as a real couple this time.

You don’t even give Max and Lucas shit for giving you a thumbs up when they think Eddie isn’t looking.

-

-

(protect myself from readmore)

[davidtennantgenderenvy]

My Two Cents On The “ Is David Tennant Queer” Drama

As some of you know, I spent a solid third of the past year working on a movie-length video essay about David Tennant. This video essay features an eight minute section titled “Gender, Vulnerability, and Why David Tennant Is A Queer Icon”, which does not speculate on David’s own sexuality, but discusses the queer coding and subversion of gender norms in plenty of his roles and his importance as an ally to the LGBT community. At the same time, I was also coming to terms with my own identity as nonbinary and bisexual, and it ended up playing a crucial role in me finally working up the courage to come out to my parents. Characters like Crowley and the Doctor, both in terms of how they present themselves and how and who they love, have been absolutely instrumental in me developing my queer identity, and my comments section was full of people who had had similar experiences, who’d realized they were trans, nonbinary, gay, etc thanks to David and his characters. And as a result, I won’t deny that if David himself were to be queer, it would mean a lot to me.

Do I think David is queer? It’s certainly possible. I see a lot of how I express my queerness in how david chooses to express himself, most prominently through his frequent queer coding of characters who don’t necessarily have to be played as such. This can especially be seen through his Shakespeare characters, such as Richard, Hamlet, and some would argue Benedick as well. When I was 15 I played Mercutio in Romeo and Juliet, who I chose to play as a closeted young gay man harboring an unrequited crush on Romeo. I think I saw this role subconsciously as an outlet for my own repressed queerness, both of gender and sexuality, as I had experienced an unrequited crush on my female best friend the previous year which I was still in denial about. I’ve described my gender identity as “a girl with a chaotic tortured gay man inside of her that needs to be let out every once in a while”, which has never been more true than with Mercutio- a character who I might add, I took a great deal of inspiration from David when playing! In terms of using roles as an outlet for one’s queerness, I could absolutelt see this being true with David, especially when it comes to Crowley, who seems to have had an impact on David’s style, behavior, etc in a rather similar way to how he’s impacted me. I don’t want to act like David wearing pink docs means he must be gay, I think people should be allowed to wear whatever they want regardless of sexuality, but taken in conjunction with so many other things about him, it does make one wonder, and the fact that a seemingly straight man has been so many people’s queer awakening is a bit puzzling to say the least. I won’t pretend that these “signs” (if you interpret them that way), haven’t been increasing somewhat in the past year, and if I got to share my own coming out journey with the man who inspired it, I would be absolutely thrilled. I also can’t specifically think of an instance where David has SAID he is straight, as opposed to Taylor swift, who has.

With all of that said, where I personally draw the line is when mere speculation crosses into interfering with the subject’s personal relationships and the sense that one is OWED something. I believe that what matters to David more than anything is being a husband and a father. I believe he adores Georgia and his children and would not do anything in the world that he believes would jeopardize his family. As happy as I would be for David if he were to come out (probably as bi) I realize that that would put so much unwanted attention on his marriage and family and I think that’s the last thing he wants. I don’t think it’s IMPOSSIBLE that he and Michael Sheen are having a passionate love affair behind everyone’s backs, but I absolutely don’t consider it my place to insist that they are, because as much as I may feel like I do, I don’t know these people! And besides, if David were cheating on Georgia, he really would not be the person I thought he was.

So many queer people see themselves in David and his characters, and that is beautiful. And I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with having theories that David might be queer himself. However, it must be acknowledged that these theories are THEORIES, and they should not be used to invalidate people’s real life relationships- after all, it’s totally possible to be bi/pan and also be in a loving and healthy heterosexual relationship like David and Georgia at least seem to be in! If David were in fact “one of us”, I would welcome him with the openest of open arms, but unless and until he himself decides to proclaim himself that way, I will not expect anything of him other than to be the incredible artist and person we know and love.

[drysdalesworld]

the sun & it’s shadow

pairing: percy jackson x fem!nike!reader (platonic)

genre: fluff, angsty, & violence

word count: literally no clue. started to write it on here & was on a role & never transferred it to goggle docs

warning(s): NOT PROOF READ! (i will do it once i have time), mention of reader death (so sorry), timeskippy (first part takes place in the pjo show season 1 & the second takes place during the 5th book), mentions of sun!reader & shadow!percy, mentions of blood + traitor siblings + murder

note: i tried to make this poetic but very much failed at it so enjoy my attempt :) <3

The sun is many things. In realistic terms, it’s a glowing ball of gas in the middle of our solar system. In metaphorical terms, it is something that gives life and provides warmth for those on Earth. It’s a vital source of life that humans cannot live without. And for Percy Jackson, (Y/N) (L/N) was the sun.

She was one of the first people he met at Camp Half-Blood.

(Y/N) had been on her way to sit with her half-siblings when she noticed a petit blond boy sitting by himself during dinner. He had been left abandoned by the Hermes cabin as they did their nightly offerings to their godly parent. Occasionally, he’d stab his fork into whatever was on his plate and push it around, clearly disinterested in what was in front of him. (Y/N) quickly changed course and decided that she was going to sit with the lonely boy instead. Her siblings would see her later in the night anyway.

Percy felt her before he saw her, blue eyes darting up from the mashed and jumbled food in front of him to the figure approaching. The light hair on his eyebrow bone furrowed together in confusion at the sight. But before he could express his confusion, the girl opened her mouth and began to speak.

“Hi, I’m (Y/N). You must be Percy, right? I’d say it’s a pleasure to welcome you to Camp Half-Blood, but it never really is. Especially on your first day”.

The young boy let out a small snort at her saying, a small, but genuine, smile painting his lips.

“Nice to meet you, (Y/N)”.

During the entirety of their conversation, Percy swore he could see literal light shine from the body of the daughter of Nike. Maybe even a little more whenever she smiled. She produced such a warm and comforting aura that Percy found himself seeking solace in her presence nearly every day. She was a comfort that was not being provided anywhere else at Camp Half-Blood. He truly believed that she was a literal interpretation of the sun, even from the first moment he saw her.

He often bugged Luke about her. Requesting that she be the one to show him around and show him how to properly fight. Albeit Luke being basically the best option of being Percy’s mentor, the boy only wanted the sun. He used the excuse of her being the literal daughter of Nike, Goddess of Victory. She surely had to have better, if not as good, swordskills as Luke. The elder son of Hermes eventually gave in, only for a week though, then it was back to business.

“Your elbows too low. It needs to be level with the hilt of the sword,” she’d speak to him in such a gentle voice that his mind often wondered to his Mother and her tenderness. “Your grip needs to be loosened. It’s too tight”.

The more she spoke, the more Percy found himself soaking in her advice and actually listening to her. She made it easy to listen. Her voice was as soft as honey and as sweet as his blue gummy candy. She never raised her voice nor scolded him when he got something wrong. Her touch was so soft that Percy barely felt her fingertips brush the point of his elbow as she corrected his stance as needed. He flourished under her watch and it was noticeable.

“Your skills are improving,” Luke heaved, picking back up his sword as the young son of Poseidon managed to disarm him within minutes of them dueling. “Your lessons with (Y/N) are really paying off huh?”.

Pride swelled within Percy’s chest at Luke’s comment, a smile spreading across his lips. He was proud of the improvement he has made in such little time and the only person he could think to thank is you.

“If I’d know any better, I’d say she’s a better mentor than me,” the son of Hermes grinned, slight disgust and jealousy tugged at his stomach. He felt Percy slipping through his hands and he needed to act quick before he lost the demigod for good.

“Perhaps,” Percy smirked, happy with the result.

When it was time for his first quest, the young twelve-year-old found himself at the Nike cabin, asking for you when one of your siblings answered the door instead.

“What’s up, kelp boy?” (Y/N) croaked out, voice still laced with sleep. She rubbed her eyes as she leaned against the door frame of her Mothers cabin.

“Sorry to wake you,” Percy spoke, teeth tearing at the dried skin on his lower lip. “I just – I just wanted to ask you something”.

“Shoot,” she replied.

“Have you ever been on a quest?”.

“A handful, I’d say. Why? Are you nervous for yours?”.

The tone of which she spoke was so sweet and soft, Percy found himself already at ease, shouldering relaxing from their prior tense state.

“I won’t tell you not to be because that’s not very helpful. But I will tell you to be careful. Don’t get too over in your head or you and the others won’t end up back home. Just because you’re the son of Poseidon and got your first ever quest at the ripe age of twelve doesn’t mean you’re immune to what’s out there. Remember what you’ve learned throughout your stay here and hold steadfast, Jackson. You’ll be just fine”.

And he was. He was fine, at least for some parts of his quest. Percy often found himself thinking back on your words spoken that night. How you unknowingly repeated the same phrase his Mother told him before being taken by the minotaur. How you had unwavering faith in him and his, limited, abilities as a new and fresh demigod. The blond often found himself thinking about what you’d do in this kind of situation. Of how’d you approach the entire situation. Of how’d you hold your sword in your hands. Of what you’d say in the times he’d need it most. He found himself shaping and molding hisself to what you’d do. A perfect making of a protégé.

When he arrived back at camp, you were the first to pull him into your arms, nearly squeezing all the air out of his lungs as you did so.

“Welcome back, kelp boy,” you’d whisper, teary eyed and thankful to the Gods that twelve-year-old Percy Jackson was brought back safe and sound.

And he never left your side much after that.

He’d go wherever you’d go. He was your shadow and you were his sun.

And it stayed like that for years, even throughout all the losses and defeats and Luke and his growing Titan army. But, it came to a final halt during the Great War.

(Y/N) had been too busy aiding the wounded and fighting for her life to notice the glittering sword blade of her traitor half-sibling. It being too late as the weapon sunk it’s entirety into the back of Nike’s daughter.

A gasp had been the only thing to alert Percy and the others of her demise, the sound of ripping flesh and gushing blood being the next.

Poseidon’s son let out an angered scream, rushing towards the person he looked up to the most. He gathered her into his arms as she practically went limp in his hold, his pale hands coated in her blood as he tried to stop the seemingly never ending flow.

Percy’s cried pleas where the only thing that echoed throughout the now quiet night. He begged her not to go and that she was going to be okay because she had to. She had to or he didn’t know who else was going to make sure he remembered to eat breakfast or make sure his swordskills were always refined and perfect.

The horrible realization that she had been gone the minute her body hit the hard concrete had settled into Percy Jackson’s bones as he let out an anguished roar, holding the body of his sun close to his chest as his salty tears made streaks down her dirt covered face and droplet marks in her battered orange Camp Half-Blood shirt.

At the end of the war, Percy had made his way back to the body of someone he considered a familial figure. The sight of her Mother gently stroking the cheek of her slumped over body brought fresh tears to his eyes. He wasn’t able to bring himself to carry her body back to camp. He left it to the children of Apollo, making sure they treated it with the upmost care.

The days following her passing, Percy found himself in the Nike cabin most nights, sleeping on the floor next to (Y/N)‘s bed, for he was too afraid that the smell of you would disappear too quickly due to his presence on the sheets. He found himself finding you in a multitude of things and it always shattered his heart into pieces once more. Everything served as a reminder of you, even the actual sun, for he missed the warmth and comfort you brought wherever you went.

And with the sun gone, it’s shadow would forever search for it’s source of light, destined to never find what it so desperately craved.

[foreverdolly]

𝐈 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐄 pt 2 | 80's mechanic!austin x best friend!reader

summary: it's starting to look like he might never make it out of the friend zone. austin has been in love with you for as long as he can remember, and he's terrified that you'll never see him as anything more than a best friend and protector. with the fear of you one day outgrowing him fresh on his mind, he's now hell bent on getting you to view him in a different light. madly in love and terrified to lose you, austin butler is playing for keeps.

pairings: 80s mechanic! austin x childhood best friend!reader

word count: 3.8k

notes/warnings: SMUT! in part three, virgin!austin. . . need i say more?, i love pining and this fic is testament to that, shaky/hurried hands, who doesn't love a good best friends to lovers fic, he has a deep southern accent, austin is the small town's metalhead and he's swelteringly hot without even trying. (this is going to have to be three parts because it turned out too long after editing. the smut alone is like. . . five pages on google docs.)

Austin could tell that you were fighting off the urge to plug your ears as the band continued to pound away at their instruments. It wasn’t that you weren’t a fan of metal music- he was pleased to know that you enjoyed a lot of the bands that he loved- but while this might be metal, Austin wasn’t sure it could really be categorized as music. The drummer, Mark, was okay at best. He couldn’t say the same for the other member’s. Dave had picked up a guitar and decided that he wanted to start a band just a year ago. It was more of a “this sounds like a fun thing to do with my time” and less of a “this is my passion in life” sort of thing. 

The wavy haired blonde tried to show support where he could, like tonight for example. He had dragged you all the way out here just to add to the small crowd. You were sweet enough not to complain though. 

“Do ya want another drink?” Austin called down to you, pointing to the empty can of beer in your hand. 

You squint your eyes up at him, trying to read his lips. He repeated himself, smiling fondly when you nodded your head. You were kind enough to let him drag you an hour out of town to see this show, so the least he could do was make sure you were taken care of. Not only that, but it was something that he enjoyed immensely. Austin knew just how strong you were, but it felt nice to know that he was needed. Taking care of you made him feel like a necessary part of your life. It made it easier for him to delude himself into thinking that you couldn’t be without him. 

“I’m not drunk enough for this.” You called back to him, motioning towards the stage. 

He heard your sly little comment and laughed all the way back up to the bar, maneuvering his tall body this way and that so that he wouldn’t bump into anyone in the packed crowd. Austin was surprised that so many people showed up to the bar tonight, the turnout usually being much smaller. 

He finally made it over to the bar, the toes of his sneakers swiping one of the bar stools. He grimaced, mumbling a quick apology to the man who had been jostled around by Austin’s uncharacteristic clumsiness. He was just about to try and grab the bartender’s attention when he felt a sudden pressure on his elbow.

 Samuel’s familiar face grinned back at him, his mousy brown hair cropped short. Austin gaped when he noticed the new hairstyle, eyebrows pinching together in confusion. He didn’t have to vocalize the question, Sam already pointing at his head with a comically dramatic frown.

“Work,” The other man stated simply, shrugging his shoulders with a “what can you do” attitude. “I’ll get another beer.” He reached around Austin so that he could hand the empty beer bottle to the bartender and then pointed towards the blonde. “And then put whatever he orders for him and his lady on my tab too.” 

The blonde whirled, quickly shaking his head. He wasn’t the type of person to take handouts. Ever. Even if they are as a gesture of kindness. Austin hated the feeling of owing people anything. He’d learned from a young age that most people, even the ones that seemed to have the purest intentions, expected favors in return for nice gestures. Maybe it was due to growing up on “the wrong side of the tracks”, but good deeds always meant that someone wanted something from you. 

“Nah, man. Ya don’t have to do that.” He tried, but the beers were already being placed down in front of him. 

Sam smiled at the bartender, giving her a flirtatious wink before clapping his old friend on the back. “You’re the one that got me my current gig. Two beers is nowhere near enough to pay you back for that.” 

The regional manager of the local electric company had all of their work trucks maintained at the shop where Austin worked. All the mechanic did was tell the head honcho that he knew a guy that was going to school to become an electrician. Thanks to Austin’s meddling, Sam had a job the second he got his certificates. Even though Austin was the one that set up the interview, it was the brunette’s skill and personable attitude that landed him the job in the first place. He didn’t want to take credit for the other boy’s undeniable skill. Instead of pushing the subject and denying the other man’s kindness, Austin- although slightly begrudgingly- took the beers with a small smile, nudging his elbow into Sam’s side. 

“Well thank ya for that. It’s weird seein’ your hair short though. Ya look good.” Austin took a sip of his beer, then stared down at yours, raising that can to his lips so that he could give it a taste. 

“You’re lucky that you get to keep your long hair. I mean- it gets more and more majestic by the day, Butler.” Sam teased, reaching a hand over to rustle his wavy blonde hair. It was past his shoulders now, and though you often teased him about getting a haircut, he knew that you’d be upset if he chopped it all off. He’d had long hair since high school, only trimming it when it became too much of a bother to maintain. 

Austin could see the way Sam’s eyes slowly searched the crowd, his smile slow and wide once he found exactly who he was looking for: you. The blonde knew that the questions were sure to come, and so he was quick to change the subject. 

“I’m glad ya came all the way out here to support Dave. I didn’t know ya were still close with him.” The dark dive bar’s doors opened, more metalheads pouring in through the front door. Austin steered them away from the bar, making more room for others who were waiting behind them for a drink.

“I love Davie- but Mark is my new roommate.” Mark was the aforementioned drummer. . . and the wildest of the band. Just two months ago at a bonfire the twenty four year old had set his hair on fire- hence the fact that he was newly bald.

You had been there with the group when it had happened, and thankfully were sober enough to pour your drink over his head to extinguish the flames. Only after you knew that he was safe did you double over with laughter. Austin hadn’t been so kind. He had nearly pissed himself the second that the idiot tried to jump over the giant flames. 

“That must be. . . fun.” Austin chose his words carefully, but Sam was quick to laugh. 

“It’s never dull, that’s for sure.” He agreed, lifting his beer up to take a swig.

The song that the band was playing ended, Dave walking up to the mic so that he could loudly thank the crowd and call out the shitty title of their next terrible song. The amp's feedback was piercing, causing the entire bar to wince and cry out in pain. 

Austin started to walk off in your direction, hoping that he’d been successful in steering clear of any questioning- but a grip on his shoulder stopped him. Every single one of his friends had given him “the talk” at one time or another. It was always awkward and hard to stomach. Nobody in their right mind would pine after a girl for even a fraction of the time that Austin had with you. None of his friends could ever begin to understand exactly what he could lose in the process of vocalizing his feelings though.

“So is this a date. . . or?” Sam asked under his breath, motioning as subtly over towards you as he could. 

You had looked over in Austin’s direction a few times, wondering where he was and what might be taking him so long. You’d stopped searching for him after seeing who he was talking to though, not wanting to interrupt. Sam was the only one in Austin’s male friend group that actually had a “real” job, and you knew that the two of them had more in common than the rest of the boys because of it. You turned back to the stage, giving Dave a quick thumbs up as a form of encouragement to pump him up after the amp malfunction. The blonde clenched his teeth for a couple of seconds, knowing that he shouldn’t lie (but wishing that he could), before turning to face Sam again. 

“No- not a date. She’s friends with the group. . . and Davie wanted her to be here tonight.” 

Sam’s face hardened as he looked up at the stage, glaring after the guitarist. Austin was quick to shake his head, backpedaling. 

“It’s not like that. Just as friends. He knows that I-” Am in love with her. 

Of course he didn’t need to finish the sentence. Anyone with eyes knew how he felt about you. Thankfully, none of his friends had ever even tried their hand at flirting with you, because they understood Austin’s feelings. It wasn’t a childhood yearning or an adult ache that plagued him. It was more complex than that. It was the sort of love that often destroyed adult’s lives. The kind of love that didn’t go away, no matter how much you wished that they would. He’d been in love with you before he could even add two plus two or write his full name in cursive. That love was just as much a part of him as his own soul was. 

Which was why it always bothered Austin when people looked at him with eyes filled with pity. Just like Sam was doing now. 

“Do you think. . . do you think she knows? Maybe she doesn’t want to turn you down because she doesn’t want to lose you.” Sam was trying to help. Austin knew that. He was just sick and tired of people constantly putting their two cents in. 

These sort of comments just added to the self doubt that crippled him. The years of anxiety over his unrequited feelings kept him awake at night, and he didn’t need tonight to be ruined. Despite the shitty music, the two of you had been having fun. Wake up calls like the one Sam was currently tried to give him often put him in a rotten mood, and you’d pick up on that immediately.

“She doesn’t know. Ya know how she is- she’s sweet, trustin’, and a lil’ bit naive. We’ve always been this close, so in her mind this is all we are.” And all that we’re going to be most likely. He took a swig of his beer, wishing that he could get drunk off of his ass. He hadn’t made any sleeping arrangements with his friends though, and the last thing he wanted was for you to be sleeping on some random guys floor because he got too drunk to drive home. 

Austin cleared his throat, gave Sam one last pat on the shoulder, and started to make his way through the thrashing crowd. Behind Austin, Sam opened his mouth to say something. The shift in mood was obvious, and he needed to apologize for bringing it up, but it was too late now. Austin was gone and in a solemn mood. 

The melancholy that threatened to eat away at him for the rest of his night was swiftly replaced with rage. 

There was a man standing beside you that he hadn’t ever seen before. He wasn’t a friend. . . or even a friend of a friend, for that matter. Austin watched as the male moved his hands excitedly as he spoke, dark brown bangs hanging into his eyes, his hair almost as long as Austin’s. 

Your childhood friend stood back and watched the interaction for as long as he could stomach, wondering what the two of you were talking about to have the male in such high spirits. Were you making him feel like he stood a chance with you? Had he been too late walking back to the bar, the two of you having already exchanged contact information? He was attractive enough- though as he smiled Austin noticed that his bottom row of teeth was rather crooked. Knowing you, you’d probably find the imperfection “cute”, which further enraged the blonde. 

Austin hated getting angry over things like this. Watching you talk to other boys had been something he hadn’t had to deal with in almost two years, which he had considered to be a godsend. It was just as painful every time. It was unfair of him to feel this way, and he knew that. He should have hung back and let you talk to the guy. If he was a real friend he would have done just that. 

Except Austin had staked his claim on you far before you’d been able to fully comprehend what dating really was.

 No matter how nice of a guy Austin was, he was territorial and easily made jealous. He had his faults. He was selfish with you, and he’d willingly admit that to whoever questioned him. So he swiftly walked up beside you, sliding your beer into your hand with a smile that was too sweet. 

“Sorry that took so long. Sam wanted to show me his new haircut.” That wasn’t a complete lie. Just a little ‘half truth’. 

You smiled widely up at him, then gestured to your “new friend”. The boy straightened his back, having noticed how large Austin was in comparison to his own gangly frame. He towered above almost everybody else in the room, his shoulders broad and muscular. The blonde smiled at the boy, making sure to show off his perfect, white smile. He was being petty. He was being rude and horrible and. . . and he didn’t care. Not really, anyway. Austin could feel bad about his behavior later, but for now he had to make sure nothing happened between the two of you. 

“Austin, this is Robin. He works at the local record store.” You introduced, motioning between the two men. 

Bless your sweet little soul. You probably thought that the two of them, having similar taste in style and music, would be fast friends. Maybe Austin would have liked the guy if he wasn’t trying to steal his girl. Maybe being the keyword. 

The stage lights flashed dully beside your little group, the thick clouds of cigarette smoke drowning out most of the light. You let out a pleased hum as Austin took Robin’s hand into his own, watching him shake it firmly. 

“Nice to meet ya, man.” Though it wasn’t very nice at all. “Robin. . . that’s an interestin’ name for a guy.” That was a childish jab, but Austin wasn’t above laying the guy out right here and now. That is, if you weren’t standing between them. 

You tensed beside your best friend, giving his arm a quick swat, as if reminding the giant to play nice. 

Austin barely felt it, your tiny hands doing nothing to deter him. Instead he placed a large hand on the top of your head, dragging you into his side and tucking you in tightly. Robin was about to say something- a rude remark to fire back at Austin’s insult- but froze as he took in the sight before him. Understanding flickered into his eyes, his mouth parting slightly. 

“Oh,” He whispered softly, then held his hands up in defense. “Oh, I had no idea. Really. No harm done at all. We were just talking about music. Strictly casual.” 

You were standing as still as a statue, muscles taught as you tried your hardest to feel out the situation. Was Austin pretending to be your boyfriend because he thought Robin looked suspicious? You chewed on the inside of your cheek, fighting off the urge to shrug his arm off of you. You’d hate yourself later for embarrassing him in public, and you were positive that your best friend’s intentions were good. Still, it annoyed you that he still treated you like a child. Sure, you could be a bit too optimistic at times, but you were fully capable of protecting yourself. 

The hatred in Austin’s chest fizzled out, and suddenly he felt like the biggest douche on the planet. You might be blinded by your sense of innocence, but you were often a good judge of character. Robin was a nice enough guy, and he had just been an asshole for no reason. Austin’s shoulders slumped and he quickly shook his head. 

“No- you’re fine. I’m just protective over her, especially in places like this. Ya can never be too careful… There’s a lot’a creeps out there.” Austin offered as an excuse, moving a tad closer to him so that he could shake his hand- anything to alleviate some of the awkward tension. Robin started to shuffle back, obviously scared of a potential fight, but Austin shook his head. 

He’d traumatized the poor guy. 

“So ya work at a record store? Do ya have a good thrash collection?” Something. Austin needed to think of something that might change the direction of this conversation. He could feel how antsy you were getting at his side. He didn’t have to look down to know that you were disappointed in him for his reaction. Knowing that he had upset you absolutely gutted him. He’d let his jealousy get the best of him, and because of that he’d acted like. . . well, like a complete dick to someone that didn’t deserve it. 

Robin’s grim expression softened, brown eyes pinching at the corners as he smiled- albeit a bit nervously. 

“Yeah, at the record store down the street,” Robin yelled over the music, pointing off in the direction. 

You and Austin had dropped by the place a few times, but it was usually for record signings. It was the largest store in the entire area, so any time there were any “obscure” new releases the male would have to drive an hour out just to pick it up. It was a pain in the ass, but the store owner was pretty nice and knew a handful of influential people in the music industry. 

Back when you and Austin were in highschool you had all but begged on your hands and knees to skip school so that you could get one of your “The Police” cassette signed. Much to his absolute horror you had insisted on blasting it the entire way home. Of course he put up with it. Why? Because you looked cute screaming the lyrics. 

“Ya must have just gotten the job. I was up there about two months ago and didn’t see ya.” Austin offered Robin another smile, and that was all it took for the guy to warm up to the blonde. 

Just as you thought, Robin and Austin hit it off. The two ended up talking for the rest of the night, even earning a few glares from other people in the crowd whenever their laughter got too boisterous to be considered polite. After closing out your tabs Robin parted ways with the two of you, quickly slipping his home phone number into Austin’s palm, which had been scribbled on the back of his receipt. 

You had wanted to congratulate the boys for putting on a good show, but everyone had jumped off the stage and headed straight to the overcrowded bar for drinks after their set. Everyone aside from Davie, who was busying himself with a group of cute girls that had been eying him all night. 

“Come on. It’s gettin’ late. . . let’s get ya home.” 

Austin was acting weirder than usual tonight. Sure, this particular bar wasn’t the safest place to frequent, but his earlier treatment of Robin was an overreaction. Your best friend had a bad habit of babying you far too often. He made excuses for it- telling you that the world was a rotten place and that he didn’t mind looking out for you. It had been something that you appreciated through high school, but now that you were an adult it made you feel. . . a bit too spoiled. It also blurred certain boundaries, which further confused your already suffering heart. If only Austin knew how you felt towards him, then maybe he’d start acting a bit differently with you. 

Yet here he was, opening up the door to his van for you with a broad smile that made your heart do somersaults. You wanted to blame the heat that was pooling in the pit of your stomach on the five beers you’d drank that night. You wanted so badly to blame all of this on your recent drought in romance. . . but it’s Austin. 

No one has ever treated you as gently as he has.

Men, your father included, had always acted like your wants and needs were an inconvenience. You were too “high maintenance” because you enjoyed spending quality time with your partners. Relationships have always been short lived for you. Austin had set an impossible standard for how you wanted to be treated. Even now he was chatting your head off, one hand on the wheel and the other hand mindlessly checking to see if your seatbelt was buckled, his fingers brushing against your hip as he gave it a testing tug. 

Being around him right now was dangerous. You weren’t drunk enough to make a fool of yourself, but tipsy to the point of possibly ruining everything. Because he looked beautiful in the dim lighting of the car's display. His jawline was even more defined due to the shadows, and his blonde hair looked even lighter in comparison than usual. It was longer than you’d ever seen it, falling in slight waves because of the spring humidity. 

And you really wanted to kiss him. 

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[andraxicated]

i can keep a secret, can...you?

Pairings: atsumu, kuroo, suna, oikawa, sakusa x f! reader

Synopsis: secret sexual scenarios with the haikyuu men

Tags: suggestive | smut | sexting | grinding | groping | skinny dipping | strip tease |

a/n: kuroo and suna is a staple because they're my favs <3 based on a series of comments from tiktok because i spend my time there

i'm dying i'm imagining topgun 2 beach scene at oikawa

milestone event masterlist

Atsumu

after lusting over you ever since the first day of school, he finally felt the euphoric feeling of your warm insides enveloping his cock. the tight sinking feeling, your naked body, mixed with your flushed face, made him go wild as he buried himself to the hilt, not waiting for you to adjust. atsumu just wanted to hear your cute scream.

only to wake up in cold sweat and morning wood as he groans loudly to the cutoff dream. atsumu glances poorly at his twin on the other bed and goes out of the room for decency. he's deciding whether to watch some porn or divert his attention to helping in the class script which he has no talent for.

besides volleyball, there's another thing he's good at: 'smooth-talking'. he managed to turn the conversation around from scene ideas to his lewd schemes. as he now has the girl of his dream putty in his hands, waiting for his commands as he strokes himself.

"have you ever touched yourself?" atsumu types while his dick twitches inside his shorts; you reply with an innocent "no..." that tipped him over. the instinct to corrupt his cute classmate took over his mind as he starts to instruct you on how to relieve yourself.

"take as many fingers as you can but close your eyes and imagine they're mine. get it?" "okay" you do everything he says, can you get any easier than this? you pick up the pace, slow it down, find your spot, experiment then orgasm. a breathless and sticky relief in the wee hours of the morning. as a thank you to atsumu who just finished too...

"you can come over right now. i live alone" you type as you finish with a shiver and moan (of course not forgetting to erase the scandalous conversation in google docs). a continuation of him and you in your mind. and without hesitation, atsumu grabs a jacket, and keys then go out the door to remake his dream.

Kuroo

seeing you being friendly with other guys has the possessiveness inside him kindled. when you sweetly grill meat for others, give them towels and yet take no glance towards him. kuroo makes a harsh block as an outlet for his frustration, to which the other players complain.

he wants to stop this on and off relationship you're playing with him. why can't you just accept that you like him? as if those stolen stares when he's removing his shirt aren't filled with lust. you're emitting a need to be fucked, you're touch starved, and kuroo could very well see it. he'd fulfill your needs to make you accept your sexual instincts.

so when he chances upon you being alone, he immediately pulls you to the back of the court, pins you against the wall, and roughly pulls your chin for a kiss. he takes off his sweat-soaked black shirt, leaving only his red shorts that your feet cling to when he hoists you up while squeezing your small body against the wall. your cute tummy compressed, wet spot forming and eyes mesmerized as you watch kuroo's growing member grind against your clothed sex.

you moan at the obscene sight and look away because it's so sinful it might burn your eyes, but he grabs your chin to face him and kiss him once more. his veins and muscles flex as he supports your body with one hand, while his finger hooks on your shorts and panty to reveal the fleshy, glistening entrance.

"tetsu! we should stop!" you say as you become overwhelmed when the night wind hits you and wakes you up that you're doing this in public. everybody's having dinner a few feet away, students from different schools, teachers, coaches, managers...what if someone were to see you?

"do you want to?" kuroo parts from your lip and daringly asks you a question you don't how to answer. you only stare at him in confusion so he snaps out of patience from your coquettishness. "speak" his low voice instructs.

"i don't. but-" no buts because that's a fine answer to him. you don't want to stop, so you're not gonna stop until you feel your legs give out and wobble to the dining hall.

Suna

brother's bestfriend suna who got permission to pick you up at school. you never really tried to take advantage of your closeness because you know it'd make your brother upset, plus potentially ruin their lifelong friendship. so, you chose to be a good girl and keep your fantasies to yourself.

it doesn't take long before repressed feelings overflow, just like your wetness drenching the car seat when suna rintaro casually places his hand on your thigh. shock traveling your body as you stare at his hand questionably. you make no move to remove it though, so he chose to give an experimental squeeze near your inner thigh; one that your body visibly responded to.

suna swallows as he feels a boner popping in the middle of driving. his dreams are finally merging with reality while he remembers his pathetic self jerking off to his bestfriend's sweet little sister. thin shorts, sleeveless tops, no bra—all of those are a sight he often sees when coming to his friend's house. now making you squirm when his fingers inch closer to your center is just a little payback for what you've done to him.

you're getting dizzy from the sudden pleasure; his one-hand driving, his slender eyes, and your lewd look in the side mirror that only suna has the privilege of seeing. your body is limp while leaning on the seat, legs open and chest heaving, it looks like you came right out of a porn magazine. he has no choice but to take you here and there as he pulls over to the side.

seatbelts click as you and suna quickly meet to taste each other's lips. his hand slyly creeps up your blouse and expertly unclasps your bra, you take the uncomfortable material off and throw it somewhere amid tongue kissing. finally, suna touches your boobs and gropes them like he's addicted to a toy. his thumb teasingly rests on top of the nipple then unsuspectingly gropes your wet cunt.

"fuck..." you moan out, throwing your head back and as you grip his neck for dear life, riding three of his fingers while he pulls your shirt up. "we shouldn't do this" you say like a fool in contradiction for having the time of your life inside his car. and suna replies a breathless: "i know right" yet latches himself to the forbidden fruit without emorse.

Oikawa

a whore's other purpose for vacationing is to see the hot locals or tourists in a whole different area. summer is the perfect time to mingle, seduce...and play beach volleyball. especially if such attractive strangers come and proclaim they're pros at the game. oikawa's smirk widens when you seem to question his credibility, a smug "i'll show you" with attractive eye contact made you stand by and watch him battle your friends.

he had a hard time in the sand but soon got used to it (he can't fail when you're watching him!). little glances your way every time he scores, smiles at you before he sets, and makes sure you see his flexing muscles defined by the afternoon sun. soon, the view of half-naked men playing beach volleyball garnered an audience that was entranced by their glistening bodies and pro skills. they've never seen an intense match just like that.

"did you enjoy the show sweetheart?" oikawa whispers as he pins your bikini-clad body against the rock. his fingers playfully tugging at the strings of your bikini, if he were to put more pressure it would surely snap. "mhm, this time let me put on a show for you" you say with a peck to his lips that left him wanting more.

you untie the top at your back, hands taking off each string from your shoulder as you slowly get farther and farther away from him and into the less shallow part. oikawa swore you looked so sexy at that moment, you're like a nymph bewitching him to follow then drown. he definitely would gladly drown when he watched you take off your panty slowly, his eyes following it going down your feet. then you finally turn around in all of your glory; oikawa wastes no time getting naked and joining you. playing with the flesh of your ass while making out with you, boobs pressed against his chest for warmth amidst the cold water.

his fingers probe your entrance from the back, making you pull away to moan with your head thrown back and eyes rolling. he finds your fleshy insides all wet from the water, mouth pressing bites and kisses on your torso as you hold his large cock to pleasure.

oikawa groans at the touch of your hand and pulls away in a hurry to sit you on top of a smooth, flat rock. "open your legs for me" he says with a lilting voice together with smug eyes as he dives for his second meal that night.

Sakusa

when your family found out you have a guy roommate, you tried your best to reassure them nothing will happen between you two. it’s just purely two people living together for the convenience of shared rent in a nice place. your family trusts you but not this masked and neat obsessed roommate of yours, so every month they visit you to make sure their precious daughter is still alive and kicking. sakusa completely understands strict parents, but the constant nagging and your apologetic face are getting annoying. both of you are two functioning adults, why can’t they leave you alone?

this was stressing you out too, so bad that you suddenly broke down in the middle of a quiet dinner with him. wide-eyed kiyoomi didn’t know how to comfort a crying girl, so he sat you down on the couch to calm down and awkwardly rub your back; blushing when his hand hit your bra strap and you stopping to process. needless to say, you took comfort to another level as you ask him for a kiss. a make-out session happened on the couch while you slowly lie down; fucking on the couch as a sign of rebellion to your nosy family. but honestly, what you’re doing right now is a bit too dangerous of a rebellion.

“kiyoomi-ahhh!” you moan with a loud spank echoing next, your boyfriend’s naked body thrusting behind you as you grip the edge of the bed like a lifeline. “my family is coming in 10 minutes!” you whine to sakusa but he pretends he doesn’t hear it as he’s so focused on where you’re connected at. “ki-” “i get it!’ he finally replies, going faster and annoyed at your constant reminder plus this stupid monthly check.

after a few thrusts, you both finish together and he pulls out to watch mixed cum cascading down your legs. he'll never get used to it because he inwardly shivers every time he sees that. your spent body was heaving, weak fingers buttoning your blouse, and a sudden light touch between your legs made you gasp. "just checking" sakusa says as he gently pats your folds. just as you're both standing up, a harsh knock and a call of your name resound in the apartment.

you give each other tired faces and proceed to make it look like you just didn't fuck; because as far as your family knows, you're still their innocent babygirl...well, you're kiyoomi's babygirl now.

“it’s a secret between us okay?” sakusa asks you as he helps you fix your shirt and smooth sweaty strands of hair. you nod breathlessly as an okay and he chuckles at your obvious state of ruin. you put on a fake smile that got wiped from the subtle grope on your butt as your boyfriend opens the door with a smirk.

[spider999sposts]

I’m new to your page but loving your fics!!

I’ve been obsessing over Miguel O’Hara and keep thinking about the idea of being the only other one that matches Miguel’s energy- and he secretly loves it

Just being sarcastic back and arguing and pressing all his buttons (metaphorically)

BUT ALSO that he would slip-up and throw in a compliment when annoyed, or admit to something alluding to his crush, or even just a “good girl” / “that’s my girl” and how that would go down 🙈

Would love to hear your take if you like🙊🙈

Inner Thoughts—Miguel O'Hara

genre: fluff

tags: fem!coded reader

a.n: this is such a cute idea! thank you for requesting. hope this is to your liking <3.

Not many could keep up with Miguel.

His snarky comments, his irritable attitude, his sarcastic remarks and don't get me started with his raging anger problems. When speaking to him, most would usually just go queit or do as he says to avoid further heated discussions with him.

He preferred it that way. He always got extremly agitated whenever someone tried to talk back to him.

That was until you came along.

You, who truly gave him a taste of his medicine, with your sarcastic comments and fast replies. Whenever he called for a meeting with you in it, he always knew he'd end up being the one going queit, not knowing what to say further.

Many noticed how he wouldn't snap at you like he usually would at everyone else. How annoyed he looked when you talked back to him, but how his mouth curled up into a faint smile whenever you did. How he always let you get away with teasing him during meetings and what not. Everyone found it odd. Miguel himself found it odd, how lenient he was when it came to you.

"Miguel, focus?" Your fingers snapping infront of him made him lose his train of thought. You stood beside him on his platform, the two of you looking down at Peter, Gwen, Jessica, and Hobie. "What's with you? Since when do you daydream?"

Miguel scoffed, rolling his eyes. "I don't daydream." He mumbled, crossing his arms. "Figured." You replied. You just couldn't let anything slip, couldn't you?

"Well," You started, getting all prissy. It was cute, Miguel thought. "What were we discussing, before Miguel here decided to doze off?"

"I didn't—" He groaned, he wasn't sure why he was defending himself instead of just snapping. It was a habit he has adopted around you. Miguel rubbed the bridge of his nose in –frankly, fake– frustration, before tapping a few things on his screen. "Dios mío, me estás volviendo loco." He mumbled, moving the screen so everyone else could see.

[Oh my god, you're driving me crazy.]

He composed himself, shaking off this little interaction. "This is a new anomaly. Another varient of Otto Octavious ." He could feel your eyes on him. "He is currently on Earth–829, and I need the four of you to handle it—"

"Jeez, four spider-people for one Doc Oc?" You were sitting on his desk, raising your brows at him. "Too much, Miguel."

Miguel didn't like having his decisions questioned, but he realised you were right. He didn't even want Jessica and Peter on that misson, he wanted them for something else entierly.

"You—" He huffed, turning to you, "Get off my desk."

"Mm? What if I don't?" An odd feeling fluttered in his stomach. "Get off of it."

"Or what will you do?"

You didn't get off, even more, you put one leg over the other and tilted your head at him with a grin. "You're distracted."

"I am not."

"You've been distracted ever since we got here, Miguel." Peter commented, cradling Mayday in his arms. "Yeah, that's true." Jessica added, folding her arms.

"See, everyone else agrees."

"Tal vez si pudiera sacarte de mi mente, sería capaz de concentrarme." He grumbled under his breath, his brows furrowing.

[Maybe if I could get you off my mind, I'd be able to focus.]

"LYLA, transl—"

Miguel waved LYLA away as soon as she appeared. "Can we just focus on what I have to say?"

"We're all focused." Gwen commented, befote Miguel sighed and closed his eyes.

"What I was meaning to say," He cleared his throat, "is that Hobie and Gwen are the ones responsible for bringing him here. Do not engage engage their spiderman, he is still not his own hero yet. Do not disrupt the canon, and do not  draw unwanted attention."

"Oi! I don't take orders from you." Hobie shouted, as Gwen just dragged him outside the office. Peter and Jessica turned around to follow them, "Wait, you two—"

"You two need to monitor them, make sure they don't get into trouble." Your voice came from beside him. "Roger that." Jessica replied, the door to Miguel's office closing behind them.

You jumped off his platform, landing gracefully on the ground.

"You need to stop doing that." Miguel spoke, turning around to face his screens. Your footsteps seemed to have stopped. "Stop what?"

"Stop acting like you own the place."

"You act like that too."

"Yes. That's because I own the place."

You laughed. The corners of his mouth curled a little.

"You like it though," He turned to you halfway, glancing at you over his shoulder. You were grinning. You were not oblivious to the effects you had on Miguel, nor was he oblivious to the real purpose behind your attitude.

You liked challenging him, he liked being challenged.

By you, at least.

"I won't give you the satisfaction of knowing." He replied to your earlier statement.

"Heh, your confirmation wouldn't have made me satisfied. I know you do."

                                           —

Let's just say that whenever Hobie and Gwen go on a mission together, alot of things get messy and tangeled in the middle.

Miguel was in his office, trying to contain his ever-growing anger from bursting out of his chest. His eyebrows were knit tightly, his eyes shut closed and his fingers massaging the bridge of his nose.

He was silent, unlike the usual. Mostly because you were doing all the work for him.

"Gwen, when you were told not to draw attention to yourselves—"

"I know, I know, but—"

"—You thought the best way to do that is by blowing up a planetarium."

"Techincally, it just collapsed because—"

"Just collapsed?" Miguel started, his eyes a bright shade of red. "Oh, the planetarium just collapsed."

"Why are we getting worked up over a planetarium, eh?" Hobie remarked, "It's New York. Not the first time they've seen a building blow up."

"Yes, but their spiderman saw you." You added, stealing the words right off of Miguel's tounge. "His first canon event just happened a few days ago. You even stood and spoke with him for a few minutes."

"¡Por Dios! I told you, no interacting with their spiderman!"

"We didn't even tell him anything!"

"You told him enough to leave him wondering. He wasn't supposed to be introduced to the spider-society yet."

Silence filled the office after Miguel has made his point.

"Hey, at least they captured Doc Oc." Peter hums, and the four of you nod and mumble, a bit disgruntled.

"Just be careful next time, that's all." You gave both of them a smile, and they nodded. Miguel didn't acknowledge them further.

They turned around to leave, but before they did, Peter laughed. "Seems like you've rubbed off on her, Miguel. She gets all worked up just like you."

"Peter—"

"Yeah, that's my girl."

Hobie and Gwen stop walking. Peter's eyes widen and so does his smile. Your eyebrows raise so much its almost comical.

Miguel continues to tap on his screens absentmindedly, before realising that the four of you were staring at him.

"What?" He frowned.

"You said..'That's my girl'." Gwen grinned. A red glint sparks across Miguel's irsis. "Didn't know you two were an item." Hobie wiggled his brows at you, "Had a feeling though."

"I didn't—"

"We aren't—"

Your cheeks went warm. Miguel's reddened ears betrayed the nonchalant attitude he was trying –and failing– to keep up.

"Can't wait to tell Jess about this." Gwen's voice echoed as the three of them hurried out of the room before Miguel threw something at their direction.

Once the two of you were alone, you turned to Miguel. "Your girl, huh?"

"Stop it. You will not let me live this down, will you?"

"No, no, I..." You chuckled, although that usual edge of playfulness in your voice was not there. Miguel picked up on that.

"Just..." You approached him, while he tried to keep himself busy so he wouldn't meet your gaze. Miguel felt your hand on his arm, as you leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He raised his eyebrows and faced you, the smile on your face dissipating that feeling of embaressment he was wallowing in.

"I think I'll let it go this time."

[listenheresweaty]

Reminder that Stirringjuice/Ven themself has said that TMC is not fetish content. Kister’s works are NOT an extension of what was described in the allegations document. If you don’t want to consume TMC content anymore, fine (best you don’t— not in a way that gives Kister money anyway), but don’t spread misinformation.

EDIT: after rereading Ven’s callout document and finally being able to access ALL the screenshots he attached, I have decided that I will no longer support him. I will not go back to supporting Alex Kister yet, but I cannot support a blatant ableist transphobe either. link to annotation doc: (not mine) https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vReErDatnpQ_h3W-WlqrmzmPN26-UyDwLVwBKmHV09WhVZtdZQM44HRxvoV0ZTz8Ho-NaBVKYxjNuha/pub

Things I will be addressing:

Why I do not support Ven (separate from other victims)

Stuff that Alex Kister DID do wrong, even if the allegations were exaggerated/faked/done out of malice

The allegations and victims themselves.

WHY I DONT SUPPORT VEN

First of all, this ⬇️ (scroll down its below the blue highlighted ss. Formatting issues sorry.). This is a ss of Ven’s (now deleted, now archived post) response to how many people are calling him transphobic for his transmisogynistic comments in his document, and how he had basically outed Alex. Instead of saying something like “it wasn’t transphobic — I had to out Alex— it was necessary for the victims/proof/whatever”, Ven just says that if Alex didn’t want to be outed or subjected to transphobia, he shouldn’t have been a “groomer” (Ven later says that he had misused the word “groomer”. Everyone that Alex had interacted with in a sexual or romantic manner had been an adult, and had fully explicitly VERBALLY consented.)

However. Even if your opponent is a bad person, you do NOT have the right to be transphobic. EVER. criticize them on whatever they’ve done wrong, hold them accountable in a balanced and civilized manner— etc. Being protected from bigotry/ not getting misgendered, privacy, legal counsel— these are all examples of RIGHTS.

When you start denying something based on whether someone deserves it or not, that “something” has become a privilege. By stating that his transphobia was excused because Alex is a supposedly bad person, Ven has stated that not being subjected to transphobia is a privilege. here’s the link: (takes forever to load the keep reading portion but it works for me) https://web.archive.org/web/20240317125855/https://www.tumblr.com/stirringjuicee/745117180204548096/alex-kister-and-actively-using-being-trans-to-lure

Screenshot of the post below, along with something from the callout doc (annotated by a tumblr user. The non-highlighted color text is the annotated bit.

—— ss from ven response (click. It IS An image it just looks like text)

—- now onto some more details.

Ven, or StirringJuice, made the first allegations document against Alex Kister. He had stated himself that he does not consider himself a victim, just a friend of the victims who wanted to spread the word. Ven starts the document off by describing his past relationship with Alex Kister. He also includes screenshots of text messages from Alex— which often contradict or have no relation with what he’s saying. This is why it’s important to look at the screenshots, guys! Most of the toxicity in Ven’s relationship with Alex stemmed from Ven’s refusal to honestly his boundaries or feelings. He told Alex that he was comfortable with the sexual comments, he told Alex that he was comfortable being just Friends with Benefits, and he told Alex that they were welcome to vent to him any time <- all of this is corroborated by the text screenshots that Ven himself posted.

In Ven’s text messages, we can see him suggesting that Alex gets a therapist. Great! Nothing wrong there. And then you actually look at the ss:

(Ven is the blue. These ss are linked in the callout document.)

First of all. You cannot force ANYONE to get mental help, regardless of whether you think it’s for their own well-being. If their behavior is harming you, leave. But even the worst people on earth deserve autonomy for these kinds of things. Ven literally states that he had FORCED Alex to get a therapist, and you can see him admit it in the messages above as well.

after these ss links (labeled part 9 in the doc), Ven hits us with this absolute banger:

“[Alex] then decided to go off his meds.”

Someone had already said this, but: YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY THAT TO OR ABOUT A MENTALLY ILL PERSON. EVER. REGARDLESS OF WHO YOU ARE, OR WHO THEY ARE. it’s an insult to every mental health community.

^ also, Alex gives a pretty good reason for going off his medication. Not that they needed to.

^highlighted text is Ven’s callout post. Purple text is a fellow tumblr user’s annotations. They have a whole post with these annotations. I’ll credit them when I’m done writing out my post. [clarification: the annotator uses “she/her” pronouns for Alex, Ven uses he/him. I use they/them because Alex was never publicly OUT as she/her before they were outed, so I’m not sure what to do]

Also: please go on the callout doc and see the “pt. 11” screenshots yourself. There’s a lot of them and I don’t want to add them here, but please go see them.

^Ven hears that Alex wants to start a new chapter with them (yknow, like redeem the toxic relationship they’ve had) and immediately assumes it’s in the romantic sense.

^Alex admits that they are not ready for a committed relationship, a good first step for smoothing over any toxicity.

^nothing else to add. Annotator did great.

^ text ss as listed under the “pt. 14” link

These are 3 out of 10 ss under the Pt. 15 link. Look at the text indicated to with the red arrow (drawn by me). Ven literally tells Alex that they “don’t understand anything ever.” They also tell Alex in a later ss (plz find it yourselves because I’m not posting all 10 photos) that they “don’t understand [their] own emotions.”

Maybe Alex was making an unhealthy decision by continuing to reach out to someone they clearly had an unhealthy relationship with. But these responses are borderline abusive, especially when aimed at someone who suffers from paranoia.

A huge chunk of the entire callout doc is Ven venting about his relationship with Alex. This relationship is not abusive, it is toxic on both sides. The fact that Ven put this much focus on these barely relevant details— even when the topic was the victims, not Ven himself— suggests that he did this out of petty vindictiveness. If the allegations are true, the victims deserved a BETTER PERSON and a BETTER FRIEND to share their story. Not someone who did it purely because it was en excuse to get revenge. If it wasn’t revenge, why add all these details?? (funny thing— the whole doc. Would be more believable if Ven hadn’t added all this stuff. He destroyed his credibility before even getting to the allegations).

the one below has more transphobia and general assholery than ableism.

^apparently once you are out of the closet, you are not allowed to go back or feel ashamed. Else you are lying and manipulative. Thanks, Ven.

I am done posting screenshots from the annotation document. Please, PLEASE read it in full. I will tag it in the comments. There are so so so many good points.

STUFF THAT ALEX HAS DEFINITELY DONE WRONG, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER THE ALLEGATIONS ARE TRUE OR FALSE:

(Orange text is annotator, black is original doc).

Venting to/ Relying on a minor fan for mental health support (I think it was Mitchie). That’s not good.

making allusions to suicide during their relationship with Ven. Joke or not, that’s unhealthy.

ALLEGATIONS/VICTIMS:

wont say much here because I’m getting tired. some people on Reddit have been pointing out that some discord ss (not the ones I’ve shown you, those were imessage ss) look faked because there is use of military time, which is not an option on discord apparently. Other screenshots seem to use different fonts as well, further indicating forged evidence. I have fact-checked none of this and can’t verify it (not that you should be relying on my word alone, anyway).

I do not support Mitchie, since they’ve been telling people to self-harm and/or commit suicide when they point out flaws in the callout doc. I don’t care what you’ve been through. There is no excuse for that.

As for the other victims.. I find their statements fishy. However, I will not disbelieve them until more has been cleared up.

[amelie-isnt-french]

I'll bite.

I need to know about the red string conspiracy doc.

Sounds very fun

I have been WAITING for this. Get ready for the combined brainrot of @alice-apparently and I, you poor soul. Now, listen up, 'cause we’ve got a labrynthine twisted task of a tale to tell, and if you don’t keep up, you might get lost :)

And obviously: spoilers for tmagp. don't keep reading if you're behind 🫵🏼

First things first: anyone currently descending into paranoia? we're already there, poster children of paranoia-land, that's us. May I present the title of the wonderful conspiracy doc -

There's also a TMA conspiracy doc Ali made, fully colour- episode- and entity-coordinated. It's like 24k words and not even fully done. don't worry about it.

Which is why we're going to be super normal and low-key about the Protocol red string doc right?

of course.

As you can see above, our collaboration relies on Ali's colour coding and her making nice, structured observations of possibly important things, while I provide the Latin and cheer her on. Balance is important in a marriage.

Also included in this all-round package: character info, quotes, etc.

I've since moved on from my "Gwen is evil" theory because I simply love socially awkward, abrasive characters who are good at their job a little too much (nervously shuffles Jonathan Sims, the Archivist, further behind my back). Still the hottest bitch at the OIAR, don't @ me.

Also also, in this house we love Alice Dyer and don't trust her any further than we can throw her. what is UP with all your comments Alice? What do you know???

Anyway.

But Ames, you say, didn't you promise quotes? I did, and I'll do you one better: tmagp quotes with additional obnoxious commentary from yours truly and Ali

If you'd like to see Ali lose her shit over the red canary implications (which I fully support), hop over to her tumblr @alice-apparently and give it a read. It's delightful.

Right. Moving on from the random screenshots. Basic outline of part one of the paranoia board is a section for every episode. Ali is listening to ep7 as I write this and having a great time (not), so there's not much in the ep7 section, except for this:

Thoughts and prayers, love, thoughts and prayers.

And FINALLY, my favourite section.

This is the speculation part, time line puzzle and colour coding reference, but my current favourite is this:

She's trying to reverse-engineer the case coding in tmagp, a noble cause. Godspeed, Ali, bc that is too many numbers for my silly little brain. I only excel at criticising stupid horror protagonists aka Personal Screening:

That's all for now.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk, and to send you all off, one last silly comment from me to you and the universe:

Bye!

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 1.5

Coke Paul is just so pretty

What is the switching glasses supposed to mean in the penny lane video? Any thoughts?

In this interview, Paul seconds John's “go on forever” comment from a few months ago. They really did so well when they were living together, didn't they?

Okay, let's look at the difference in Paul's trips. His first ever trip with Tara Browne and he's just concerned that his sleeves are dirty and just mildly looking through a book of pictures. VS with John? The “I know.” “I know.” The “emperor of the universe” thing? Raving about it to everyone who would listen? Having to leave multiple times because it was scary how tightly they were bonding?

Their songwriting partnership is beyond insane. It's superhuman, it really is. Their abilities, their connection. And Cyn and Terry just reading. Just completely nonplussed. This was very every-day, monotonous stuff for them. Unfathomable. 

That song will always get me, though. “what do I do when my love is away?” “Obviously move my best friend in to take her place and then write a timeless classic with him about how it.”

Astrid: At first I did wonder if the really cared about people's feelings and people's friendship. Maybe this doc's whole thesis is “John and Paul's love for each other was so big they didn't have room for any kind feeling toward anyone else.”

The Pepper photoshoot is insane to me. Like more insane than the David Bailey one. Change my mind. You can't.

John tells an interviewer, "Only now am I beginning to realize many of the things I should have known years ago. I'm getting to understand my own feelings." Were follow-up questions just not invented yet??!! What things have you just learned, John? What feelings?

Never forget Linda took these. She must've been somewhat aware of how annoying this man was going to be about John from the start. And she still went after him. That's how good his . . . Nevermind.

"a decisive moment in the history of Western civilization" Well done, babies. 

I love smug Paul in general, and I especially love when he's smug about John. That “me and the badass bitch I pulled by being autistic” look. But literally. 

Gosh the Greece trip looks so beautiful. Idyllic. Paradisiacal. All of the beautiful people are just so blissful and in love. Sigh. (Every time I tried to take a screenshot of it it was too awful. Peter Jackson should clean it up.)

What are everyone's thoughts about the cause of Brian's death? I really liked what Vivek Tiwary said on AKOM. He knew he was taking a dangerous amount of drugs and he was depressed. But he wouldn't have just left so suddenly without leaving a will or setting things in order for the Beatles business. Anyway, no matter the cause, his death is the beginning of the end for the Beatles.  

All those quotes and pictures about the “intensity” between Paul and Brian are fascinating. “Obviously adored” “overcompensate” “little worries” What does it all mean? Was Brian in love with Paul in the end like he had been in love with John in the beginning? Or did he just feel bad because he knew it was unfair to Paul how in love he was with John? 

Wait, Brian was hospitalized for s*icide attempts in 66? Really? Confirmed? I knew he was in the hospital, but didn't know it was due to s*icide. 

Paul's hand at the small of John's back here, helping him onto the bus. It's so tender, so customary. They took such good care of each other.

Interviewer talking about MMT: If I can't see it in color, I'm going to send it back. ... :/

They're directing something and as Paul starts to walk away, so does John. But not because he wants to. He's looking around almost frantically. He has no choice in the matter. Only one person gets to control their legs at a time, and right now it's Paul's turn. 

Look how fucking ecstatic he is. I guarantee John isn't saying anything that monumental but look at those eyes. He's done for. Gone.

Interviewer: just get a tape recorder and you and Paul and the others just start gabbing. John: well, we've got a lot of that lying around the house, actually. Me: First of all “the house?” “the house?” Just casual. Like “our house” Like it's just common knowledge that they've been married and living together since they were fifteen. Second of all, give us the tapes already!! Who has them? Paul? 

All of these quotes from the Hunter Davies biography are just so normal. They're all so normal. It's fine. I'm fine. And here's my tin hat coming on again (and yeah I believe John loved George and Ringo immensely) but I think sometimes in these quotes, when John and Cyn are saying "the Beatles" they kind of mean "Paul . . . And George and Ringo". John himself actually says as much in the seventies, that when he says "the Beatles" he might just mean Paul, or just him and Paul. And there are countless times when Paul or John will start out saying "the others" and end up using just one name in a sentence. Idk this doc makes me such a truther I swear I'm not always this crazy.

And John's self soothing, reassuring refrain playing over all of it, “nothing's gonna change my world.” Right after Paul and Jane get engaged? Someone stab me in the heart, it would hurt less. And this is just the anticipation of the next part. Can I even handle part two?

Have some happy screenshots to bolster us.

[blackbat05]

Different

Rick Flag x Reader

Plot: You were always at odds with a certain Colonel. Will Christmas change things?

Genre: PG-13, Colleagues/Neighbors/Enemies to Lovers (wow so many tropes in one haha) Christmas theme (again)

A/N: Big thanks to @the-slumberparty for letting me not forget my writing roots in times of writer’s slump/block! 2nd piece for sleepover event to hopefully end the year right. Enjoy and please reblog/comment!❤️

Prompt: “I never hated you. I just didn’t want you to know how much I liked you.”

***

“Motherfu-”

You yell in pain as the infirmary doctor at Belle Reve patches up your injuries. “Sorry, I wasn’t-”

The doctor waves away your apology nonchalantly. He brushes a strand of grey hair off his face before applying more iodine to the angry looking flesh on your knee. Hats off to him, he does quick and efficient work. The doctor sends you on your way with a month’s worth of painkillers and advice to rest.

“Thanks doc, but I don’t think that’s in Waller’s dictionary. At least not for us.”

He doesn’t refute your statement and simply prepares to see his next patient. Bag of medicine in hand, you limp to the office as quickly as you can. You want to get out of the penitentiary and lay in the comfort of your own bed.

You acknowledge Emilia and John who congratulate you on another successful mission. Even Amanda Waller, who you had to submit your report to despite being on the brink of death gives a subtle nod to the quick thinking that you displayed on the field. But knowing her, she probably was just happy that she could continue using her soldiers.

Including the ridiculously handsome Colonel who had marched into the shared office space, not sparing you a glance. He shoves his belongings into his bag and he is gone as quickly as he came.

You frown. You have no idea what’s his problem. Ever since your first day, it felt as if like he’s had it out for you. And the best part? For no good reason. He was civil with everyone. Everyone but you. He was downright rude and a jerk.

Emilia gives you an empathetic smile. The two of you leaned on each other, being one of the few females in an environment that wasn’t exactly sunshine and rainbows. She comforted you after Rick blew your head off for almost ruining the mission when all you did was to rescue two innocent children in the crossfire.

“Cheer up! At least it’ll be Christmas soon. Things will be different.” She says. “Any plans?”

You shake your head. “Not that I can think of. I’m just lucky that I survived this mission.” You sling your bag over your shoulder and bid them goodbye. Emilia was right, at least it was that time of the year. Maybe things will be different.

***

It looks like the doctor had clearly outdone himself. Your injuries were healing nicely and you could even step outside your house for a jog. Dressed in your running gear, you leave your apartment and step into the pleasantly cold weather.

Making your way round the block, you arrive back at your apartment. You think about what you wanted to do next with the treasured free time that you have. Perhaps you’ll order in from that Korean restaurant, pull out a Disney movie and be a couch potato for the rest of the day.

Yeah, that sounded excellent.

Deep in thought about what you should pick from the menu, you don’t notice that one of the stitches from your more severe wounds snap, causing a patch of red to blossom at the side of your stomach. The lift dings, signaling that this is your floor. Thank god no one saw you. They knew who you were but most of your neighbors were under the impression that you were an outdoor educator.

Clutching the side of your stomach, you willed yourself to take the steps forward needed to get to your door. Easy does it, you think. Unfortunately, your vision starts to spot and the floor starts to shake. This unnerves your usually calm demeanor as your breathing quickens. As if it was an eternity, you reach the door. All you needed to do was to get the keys, unlock the door and-

And…

***

You blink, shifting uncomfortably on the sofa. To be exact, your sofa.

How did you get inside? You can’t remember anything after the jog.

“You’re awake.” A familiar voice can be heard and a flop of messy blonde hair comes into vision. You don’t know how Rick Flag got into your house, let alone knew that you lived here.

“Rick?”

“Yeah, it’s me darlin.”

The name somehow wakes you up and you attempt to sit upright only for Rick to gently push you back down. “I just did your stitches for you. You don’t want to burst them again.” He tells you and your cheeks heat up. Rick did your stitches, which means he saw you- Stop it!

“How did you know where I lived? How did you even know I was coming back home?” You focus your attention on the important moments. “Are you stalking me? I could sue you for workplace harassment.”

Rick lets out a deep chuckle that has butterflies bursting in the pit of your stomach. “Yeah, you do that. Though I don’t think there’s any issue with me coming to this building seeing as it’s my home too.”

You let yourself process this. “Wait… you’re the neighbor from five-oh-two?” You wanted to mentally slap yourself in the face. No wonder Mrs Jenkins told you that neighbor five-oh-two was supposedly a private contractor. That he had weird, odd hours. That apparently you should have met him since you and him leave around the same time in the morning for work.

Rick smiles. “That’s me.”

You almost let your defenses down until you realized that it’s been eight months since you moved in here and you’ve met everyone on your level except one. Until now.

This reaffirms the fact that Rick Flag hates you for no good reason and has wants nothing to do with you outside work. Even if he is your neighbor. Fine. Two people can play that game.

“Thanks for fixing me up. I’m not sure why the stitch burst open but I’ll let Doctor Shaw know when I get back to work.”

Rick catches on to your sudden frostiness. His expression softens for a moment before it is replaced by the brooding look that you have grown so accustomed to. “Sure. Uh… have a good Christmas.”

That was oddly civil.

You nod stiffly, closing the door as he steps out your house.

You really need a glass of water.

***

Christmas. The time of jolly good cheer.

You walk down the shops that are adorned with bright lights and Christmas decorations, mood improving significantly.

Okay, the steak that you had for dinner also played a part in the great day that you had. You also decided to treat yourself, purchasing a lovely sweater. Bag in hand, you continue down the pavement. If only every day could be like this. Not throwing yourself into life or death situations, not having criminals as your field members, not having to deal with a tyrannical boss at work and most importantly…

Not having to see Rick Flag twenty-four seven.

Even if he may be disarmingly handsome and everything that you wanted.

A loud honk and bright flights come flashing at you and instead of ducking for cover, you stand there like a deer in headlights, as if waiting for the truck to hit you.

A hand reaches out and grabs you by the arm, pulling you back to safety where pedestrians continue on their way. You find yourself staring into the sea foam eyes of the Colonel who does not look pleased one bit. In fact, he looks positively seething with rage. Rage that was about to be directed at you.

“What were you thinking? Are you trying to get yourself killed?” He grips you by the shoulder tightly and you would have swatted his hands away if you weren’t still recovering from the shock of it all. “Are you injured anywhere? Do you need me to take you to the hospital?”

You shake your head slowly and Rick sighs with relief. Apparently, he only just realizes what he is doing and removes his hands as if like he had touched something that he shouldn’t have. This annoys you and is also enough to tip you over the edge.

“What’s your problem?”

Rick’s brows furrow in confusion before his face twists in disgust. “Is this how you thank someone for saving you from almost being hit by a one ton truck?”

“No, this is me asking if you have a problem with me.” You refuse to back down. “Because it’s either you pretend to be worried or save me from a ‘rookie’ mistake I made on the field and proceed to humiliate me publicly!” You raised your voice. “If you hate me, make it clear. I can’t do anything about work but I can make myself disappear when we’re outside.”

You proceed to turn around to be on your way when Rick holds you by the wrist. He hangs his head, surprisingly defeated by your words. You want to twist yourself out of his grasp, but his sad golden retriever appearance is making it very hard for you to be the villain here.

“Please,” Rick pleads. “Stay.”

An internal you battle, you relent and let him take you to a nearby cafe. He insists on getting you something, so you order a simple hot chocolate to calm your nerves. You remain silent, waiting for what the Colonel has to say.

“I’m sorry.”

You cock your head to the side, unsure if you were hearing things after that truck almost ran you over.

“I didn’t mean to do all of that.” Rick starts. “It was unprofessional and very unlike me. It was just that-” He inhales deeply.

“When I see you throwing yourself in danger or being in danger… my mind stops working. I’m so scared that one day, things will go wrong and I’m left alone again.” He grips the handle of his mug tightly.

“Remember when you saved those two children?”

“How could I forget?”

“You were amazing for that. You were fearless and brave. That’s what I wanted to tell you. But my fear became the better of me and I hurt you instead.” Rick recounts bitterly.

“I never hated you. I just didn’t want you to know how much I liked you.”

Rick can’t bring himself to look at your reaction. Perhaps a peek and he sees that your mouth is hanging open slightly. Oh, he’s done it. He’s really blown this to bits. Perhaps he can file in a transfer when he gets to work - yeah, as if Waller would allow that. Perhaps death would be the best option.

“Then say it.”

Rick stares at you, dumbfounded. A small smile is etched on your lips. “Say it you big dummy.” You laugh this time and his heart skips a beat.

“Okay, maybe I’ll say it first. Get the ball rolling hm?” You add playfully, enjoying the look on his face. “I lo- oof!”

Rick knocks his chair over from standing up to fast as he makes his way to you, engulfing you in a big and warm embrace. You freeze but only momentarily before melting into his hug that smelled like cinnamon.

“I love you Y/N Y/S/N.” He says breathlessly before giving you what was possibly the most mind shattering kisses that you ever had.

The Christmas lights start to dance around each other and the music in the cafe plays a slow jazz song. People trickle in and out for a nice warm drink and you are content with how Christmas has played out today.

Christmas could be different after all.

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

01/26/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Renew As A Crew/Hoist The Ads; Cast & Crew Sightings; Queerties; Twitter Watch parties; Articles; Reasons to keep fighting; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Tonights Taika;

== Renew As A Crew / Hoist The Ads ==

Tumblr Post / Twitter Post /Instagram Post

Link to vote

==Cast & Crew Sightings==

While the sighting hasn't occurred yet... looks like Vico Ortiz, Nathan Foad, and Con O'Neill will all be attending Galaxy Con in San Jose on August 16-18, 2024 at the San Jose Mcenery Convention Center. Tickets available now. Src: _irene_adler on IG

One thing to note.. Chaos dad has been pretty consistent about reaching out every 3 days-ish lately.. I'm interested to see if tomorrow he shows up again. Just a theory.

== Queerties ==

If you're down, please vote for the Queerties each day! If you want to just vote for OFMD categories, feel free to visit: TV Comedy Best TV Performance Wanna help another Taika/Rhys verse Queertie? Vote for Kaimana for Best Film Performance in Next Goal Wins!

==Twitter Watch Parties==

Sadly, today #PirateOmens came to an end, but our friend @dandeebakes is already fast at work getting other cool Watch parties together! Please send them some love!

=HuntForThePirateHome=

HuntForThePirateHome Watch Party Starts Sunday Jan 28 at 3 PM EST, 12 PT, 8 PM GMT. Hashtags for that event are:

#HuntForThePirateHome

#AdoptOurCrew

#SaveOFMD

Thank you to @blueberreads for catching these trends on twitter during the Pirate Omens watch, definitely kept engagement up.

==LubeAsACrew==

#LubeAsACrew is back on 1/31/24 at 4PM PT, 1PM ET. Next up are S1 Episodes 5, 6, 7.

== How To Help ==

How To Help Save OFMD Task List - US How to Help Save OFMD Task List - Outside US

==Articles==

15 Things We’ll Miss About ‘Our Flag Means Death’

2024’s Canceled Shows, for Your Final Consideration

Relisting The Guardian's article from yesterday because they've opened comments, and it can help with engagement so feel free to comment on it now!

Also, @itsmfgames Has been kind enough to be keeping up a running list of Articles about the campaigns -- so if you have the time and want to go catch up on some articles, please checkout the guide below and visit this google doc for the list! It's been added to the Daily Renewal List for both US and Outside-US, so feel free to check it out there as needed.

== Reasons to Keep Fighting ==

Throwing in some great points from our tumblr folks regarding the cancellation that really helped me feel pumped today.

@celluloidbroomcloset's Our Flag Means Death was cancelled because it’s gay.

@queerly-autistic's break down on why Not All Fan Campaigns Are The Same.

@saltpepperbeard's reasoning for Clinging Onto Hope

@tulipseason's lovely reasons The Show Is Irreplaceable

== Love Notes ==

Alright lovelies. I have so many words to say about how great you all are, how much I love you (and I'm sure you're tired of hearing them), but I went back to work today after 7 days of being sick and now my brain is mush. So instead I'm going to put the text of one of my son's books in here because I think every one of us should feel loved like we were when we were 5.

On The Night You Were Born - By Nancy Tillman On the night you were born, the moon smiled with such wonder that the stars peeked in to see you and the night wind whispered, “Life will never be the same.” Because there had never been anyone like you… ever in the world. So enchanted with you were the wind and the rain, that they whispered the sound of your wonderful name. It sailed through the farmland High on the breeze… Over the ocean… And through the trees… Until everyone heard it and everyone knew of the one and only ever you. Not once had there been such eyes, such a nose, such silly, wiggly, wonderful toes. When the polar bears heard, they danced until dawn. From faraway places, the geese flew home. The moon stayed up until morning next day. And none of the ladybugs flew away. So whenever you doubt just how special you are and you wonder who loves you, how much and how far,  Listen for geese honking high in the sky. (They’re singing a song to remember you by.) Or notice the bears asleep at the zoo. (It’s because they’ve been dancing all night for you!) Or drift off to sleep to the sound of the wind. (Listen closely… it’s whispering your name again!) If the moon stays up until morning one day, or a ladybug lands and decides to stay, or a little bird sits at your window awhile, it’s because they’re all hoping to see you smile… For never before in story or rhyme (not even once upon a time) has the world ever known a you, my friend, and it never will, not ever again… Heaven blew every trumpet And played every horn On the wonderful, marvelous Night you were born

== Daily Darby / Tonights Taika ==

The gifs today are courtesy of our lovely @ofmd-ann who blesses us every day with gifs that make me swoon. Darby / Taika

Warning to all you gif makers, I'm gonna be bugging the crap out of you soon for permission to share on these recaps :P -- feel free to say no!

[fuckyeahdindjarin]

A little update

Ngl, I've enjoyed my break away... maybe a bit too much? 🤷🏻‍♀️ I'm finding it hard to go anywhere near writing right now. I don't even think it's because of everything that happened, I think I'm just burned out.

I did some quick math, I wrote 65k words this year, across two series and a couple of one/two-shots, not even counting the drabbles I wrote for my milestone celebrations. And somehow, I still feel like I can't keep up? That it's not enough?

Even though you guys are the absolute best and have never, ever rushed me for updates, I got to be honest - I feel the constant pressure to create because I think people will lose interest if I don't. There are so many writers in the fandom who write so much faster than me, I can't fight the sinking feeling that I won't be missed if I took too long, or if I stopped.

At the same time, I've been discovering new outlets for my creativity, and I've been having a lot of fun. I'm not saying that writing isn't fun for me anymore - but there is a lot of expectation, stress and hair-pulling involved, and it's felt good stepping away from that.

At the beginning of the break, I thought I'd come back with an announcement of my upcoming fics. But right now, I'm not so sure. I mean, I still want to write that Hallow'seams idea, and I want to finally write Butter, but I can say for sure I'm in no state to start a series, so Summer House is shelved. I don't have a timeline, I haven't even touched a Google doc since I finished Palomino, so... yeah, I don't know.

For now, I'm going to take it easy and see where inspiration takes me. In the meantime, I'm just planning on replying to your wonderful reblogs and comments. I will be tagging Palomino spoilers as such when answering asks if you haven't read it.

I am so eternally grateful for your love and support, I hope you'll stick with me while I figure things out ❤️

[farfromstrange]

Lizzi’s Valentine’s Special & Follower Celebration

Dear Everyone,

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and I thought, since this silly little blog hit over 1.1k followers yesterday, I want to give you something special.

First of all, though, I want to thank you. I’ve been on here since (and I checked with the archive) July 19, 2022. I can't believe that it has been almost two years. I started watching Daredevil after watching Spider-Man: No Way Home in December of 2021 and hearing Matt Murdock say, "I'm a really good lawyer," after catching a brick. So, I started watching the show, and that was during a time I was really miserable. Mentally and physically, I wasn't in a good place, but after watching Daredevil for the first time and falling in love with Charlie Cox as a genuine person and an actor, it felt like I found a reason to keep going.

I started writing fanfiction again, which I kind of neglected because I felt like this hobby of mine wasn't going anywhere. I wasn't inspired at all until I watched the show. If I hadn't, I probably would not have gotten back into writing and using it as an outlet for my feelings, and I probably wouldn't be where I am today. Thanks to Charlie's portrayal of Matt Murdock, and watching his interviews, I felt like I could do the things that I love again and follow my dreams. He's the reason I chose to major in English. And while I owe him that much, I owe you guys here on Tumblr and AO3 even more.

When I first posted here, I didn't think people would even be interested in what I had to say and write. But then more and more people started visiting my profile, you guys started following me, and it kept me motivated to keep writing, even when I'm miserable, and I sometimes only post once every blue moon.

I feel so honored that you guys chose to follow a silly little blog run by a silly little 20-something-year-old whose first language isn't even English (but made it her entire personality), and who chose to write about traumatized dark-haired characters portrayed by Charlie Cox. I'm overwhelmed by the love you continue to show me, and every time one of you chooses to reblog or comment on one of my works, saying that it resonated with you, I feel like I'm doing something right. I'm sharing my ideas, my own experiences, my wishes, and even my deepest, darkest dreams through my writing like it's a fucking diary, and you eat it up every single time.

I'm just so glad that this community exists, as chaotic as it sometimes is, and that you chose to stick around, even when I suck at keeping promises sometimes. You keep teaching me new things about who I am, my writing, and how important it is to put myself first. I don't know if you've heard it lately, but you guys are incredible and I appreciate the hell out of every single one of you.

Thanks to Tumblr, I made lifelong friends (especially looking at you, @blackshadowswriter) and found like-minded people that made me feel less alone. That alone was worth making this account and continuing to post on here.

You may think that I'm being dramatic, but for someone who has never really experienced the kind of validation this community gives me, I want to celebrate this milestone. It means more to me than I can even put into words. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I love you all so much! Please, don't ever forget how amazing you are.

That being said, I've got some exciting things planned.

The other day, I found a folder in my Docs titled "the vault". I completely forgot about it because I usually keep my WIPs in a different folder. As it turns out, I made that folder for fics that I originally never planned to post, or ones that I'd finished but wasn't happy with. It’s many, but it’s a few. Some are deeper than others. I also jotted down rough ideas and outlines last year that I stuffed in there, some of which I've actually shared with you but never started working on. Until now. And the contents of that vault are what I want to give to you now.

INTRODUCING: The Vault

6 stories from the vault. 1 bonus fic. 7 days.

I went through a myriad of emotions while I wrote these. For some, I actually bled my soul onto paper. For others, it was merely a brain fart that led to their existence. They're sad, horny, and at times angry, but some of those were originally written for me, and only me. Those that weren't started as a few sentences in a folder before I forgot they existed. Either way, I don't want them to catch dust. And I wouldn't want to share them with anyone else.

Starting February 14th, I will be posting one fic every day until February 20th. My “The Vault” works are Matt Murdock x Reader works, but I've made an exception for the bonus fic. I won't tell you what they are about, but I will give you a list of installments and what kind of fic they are so you know what to be excited about (and maybe which ones are not your cup of tea).

-> The number at the end tells you the date I will be posting it on, but I put it in chronological order as well.

INSTALLMENTS:

1. If You Need To Be Mean (angst, hurt/comfort) 14.

2. Mismatched Bridesmaid (fluff, smut) 15.

3. Weed Cookies (humor, fluff, cw: accidental drug use) 16.

4. the grudge (songfic, angst, hurt/comfort, cw: death of a parent) 17.

5. Halloween (Smut) 18.

6. I Want To Fuck A Priest (Smut, cw: priest!Matt) 19.

BONUS:

7. Now That We Don’t Talk (Part 2 of Is It Over Now?) -> Frank Castle x Reader (smut, angst) 20.

A few more words: You are free to send me an ask if you want to know more, but be prepared that I won't be answering in much detail. I don't want to spoil the fun. I would, however, not mind talking about them as vaguely as possible (if you’re interested).

Thank you all. For everything. And I hope you stick around to read these little gems.

With love from yours truly,

Lizzi <3

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday Fandom :) More of that pining/slow burn in this one. I saw a post that said ‘The greatest things take the longest time.’ That is Chenford in a nutshell. The buildup and reward are so good. This one is fantastic for so many reasons. Also we get rid of the dead weight that is Ashley in this one. The symbolism in this one is very poignant. So let’s get going.

5x05 The Fugitive

A foot chase starts our ship off in this one. Tim takes down one of the suspects with an impressive takedown. Sexy af until he injures himself. Lucy pulls up and is on it immediately for him. Tim is clearly in pain and Lucy is instantly worried. Asking if he’s ok? Tim being Tim brushes it off. Saying it was just the take down. He tweaked his back is all. Then grimaces some more. Activating worried wifey mode to the max. You no longer have a choice in this now Timothy. She has decided you are going to the hospital and that is that sir. This is not up for debate. At all. Weird place or not you are her person and she will make sure you are taken care of. That’s instinctual.

This next scene is the epitome of stubborn husband and exasperated wife. Tim comes gimping into the hospital. Lucy is hot on his trail worry pouring out of her. Nolan starts to update Tim on the fugitive loose in the hospital. Lucy cuts John off and says he’s not there as a supervisor. Damn girl you just take the lead for your man.

Idk what’s more telling to those around them. That Lucy is in wifey mode taking over for Tim. Or That Tim starts to fight her then gives in. Either way acting married af right now. Or as I saw in some tags we could call this scene ‘Where wives don’t believe their husbands.’ LOL From the minute he started hurting worried wife was activated.

She is not giving up till you are seen Tim. She is so exasperated with him when he says ‘Ok I’m not fine.’ Like yeah it’s what I’ve been telling you this entire time you stubborn ox of a man haha She's so gentle in helping him sit in that second gif though. Mad he won't listen but soft when he needs her. Mixture of extremely worried and infuriated with him.

Lucy is doing her search for the fugitive when she runs into Tim’s room. Awkward central. She wasn’t expecting Ashley. haha Tells them she's just looking for bad guys...Tim doesn’t let her leave yet asking how the search is going? Asking If Nolan is leaving a cop on every floor? Lucy’s incredulous look and sass reply are the best. ‘Yes we’ve been cops for more than ten seconds.’ Lucy stays long enough to be present for the doctor. He explains it's an old injury flaring up.

It's from when he was shot few years back. Ashley's reaction to a bullet makes me roll my eyes. He’s a cop those tend to be apart of the deal….The doctor telling him the injury from a few years ago is a problem now. There was a fragment that was too complicated to move at the time. So they left it there. Tim tries to relax Ashley and say he was ‘Just shot’ not a big deal. Trying to downplay it. Lucy bragging she saved his life on day one. It was a big deal heh I mean it really was... His hot shot in action saved his life.

Tim ignores her comment and let's the doctor finish. He says the fragment has traveled and is now closer to his spinal column. It’s pressing on a nerve now. So they need to do surgery to remove it. Tim says 'Ok…when?' Wifey jumps in not Ashley and asks ‘Hold on, what are the risks?’ The doctor must’ve thought Ashley was Tim’s sister and Lucy was the spouse at this point. He has to. The way Lucy is acting is that of a worried wife. Asking questions and not just sitting there as the doctor speaks.

The doctor answers Lucy’s question by saying ‘They’re talking about the spine so it’s risky..’ The silent communication above oh my word. He doesn’t look to Ashley for comfort when the doc says this. No no. He looks to his person for it. The way he flits his eyes over to her. The writing was on the wall for Ashley in this one in so many ways. Let’s not forget his GF is standing right next to him as he does this.

Literally right there as they have this mini silent convo with his soulmate. How this woman wasn’t consistently threatened by Lucy I’ll never understand. When his panic and worry start to pile up who does he look to? His girl. Such a short moment with so much meaning attached to it. They’ve been each other’s safe place and harbor for a long time.

So naturally he would look to Lucy not his GF in this moment. Ashley is so far past her expiration date at this point she's starting to smell. Gah their chemistry is out of the world good. This moment above a reflection of that. Also Lucy’s reaction to the doctor saying it’s risky. *heart clutch*

Tim opts to do the surgery even though it’s risky. It’s better than doing nothing. He says it could be laparoscopic and he’ll be home by dinner. Look at Lucy’s panic in that first gif. She was not done with grilling that doctor. Nor was she done talking to Tim about this. But sadly she's not his SO and can't have more input. If she was his wife that doctor would’ve spent little longer in that room. You can tell how antsy and worried she is.

Looking at Tim with that same amount of worry. Lucy touches her tattoo. Her go to when she’s super stressed and overwhelmed. Her heart is hurting she can’t be the one comforting him. Can't be the one grilling the doctor some more and having a say in this. It’s killing her. Since she can’t do anything more she opts to leave. Also Ashley comforting Tim is not something she wants to see anyway. It’s hurting her to watch tbh.

So Lucy gets awkward and says she’s gonna get back to the search. Being in the room isn't something she can stand at this point. So she takes off back where she came from. Where do Tim’s eyes go? Not to Ashley. To Lucy who just left the room. We all know he’s not with Ashley because he loves her.

It’s just comfortable and safe because he can’t be with Lucy. Breaks my damn heart. All his feelings were showing in this scene. 100% of them towards Lucy in this moment. Look at that man above. His heart just walked out of the room and it shows. He wanted her to stay but there wasn’t a reason for her to. You’re so in love with her Timothy. It's painfully obvious at this point.

Lucy comes to see Grey after he collapsed in front of her. He got food poisoning from breakfast place they went to. Ashley did him a solid by having him not eat bread I guess...Lucy is so cute when she comes in saying it’s like a sleepover LOL Never change Lucy Chen never change. This makes me laugh so very much. First I wanna say I love Grey trusting her enough to run the station. That’s amazing.

Second it's hilarious because they both need her to get a move on. With Smitty in charge god only knows what’s happening without them. When she arrives he’s already given a friend day off….Lucy asks what he’s doing? Tells her 'When you’re in charge you let your friends go home early.' OMG lol Lucy is panicked and says but we’re short today…Reminding him they’re understaffed due to the units on the hospital. Smh. This is why they sent her back...

We return to Ashley back in his room. Talking about how Tim could retire if he wanted. Be on disability/pension if this surgery keeps him from working. Move out of LA. It’s insane to me she would even suggest this. But not surprising. The thing I didn’t like about Ashley was her constantly molding Tim into her version. Once again vapid is the perfect description for Ashley.

Not having him strive to be a better person like Lucy does. Because she is blah and doesn’t challenge him. Just wanted her version of him. Where Lucy challenges him and makes him want to be better. Loves him for who he is. Ashley just keeps trying to shove Tim into a box. Her box of who she thinks he should be like. Not loving him for who he is.

Lucy loves every part of this man. Warts and all and vice versa. Trying to take away being a cop to be a beach bum? Outside of LA? She doesn’t know the man lying next to her at all. Why you ask? Oh you know just those glaring communication issues they've had since day one. This goes all the way back to 4x10 with Kojo. It's not gotten any better.

Because of this lack of communication she’s only gotten surface level Tim. The Tim that doesn’t want to rock the boat. So he is just going with it. Better than making waves. D brought up an excellent point in 4x21 in her comments. About him not fighting her because of his PTSD with Isabel. Her saying he was too rigid. Tim is over correcting now where he’s not even himself at this point. Possibly agreeing to this ‘Life plan’ of hers. Just going through the motions because he has to.

He doesn’t want to be alone and he can’t be with Lucy. It’s insanely heartbreaking when you break it down like this. Tim is losing who he is in this relationship. Just to please a person he doesn’t even love. To quell anxieties his ex-wife thrust upon him. We see him hesitate because it’s a life he doesn’t really want. Makes me mad as I write this. Tim deserves so much better.

Tim goes to stretch his legs while he still can. He sees the fugitive and tries to stop him. Oh my Timothy why would you do this being so hurt? Because he's a lawman first and foremost that's why. Not that Ashley get’s that....I wanna cry with how much pain he’s in. Gah Eric killing me softly. We see his bravado disappear in an instant. Tim then thinks of the two most important women in his life. His sister and his girl. No no not bloody Ashley. Lucy. Sends Ashley to call his sister.

When Grey makes it over he tells him not to tell Lucy. Knowing she would drop EVERYTHING to be by his side. Tim putting her first even when he's in danger himself. Does he not see what a husband move this is? I’m sure Wade does. Minute Ashley is gone he tells him not to tell Lucy. Fierce protector reporting for duty even when he’s hurting. If Lucy saw him grimacing like he is she would lose her damn mind. He knows this and decides to keep her out of the loop because of it.

Lucy sees a bunch of cops leaving and is panicking. They say Smitty is letting them leave early. Harper comes up and Lucy asks for her help. Nyla knowing Lucy is a BAMF saying all she has to do is say different. I adore the way Harper builds her up in this moment. Filling in those gaps still when Tim can’t. It’s amazing. Letting her know she has their respect.

With everything she’s been through and done for others. No way these cops wouldn’t have her back if she asked for it. Lucy tells them what’s going on. How spread thin they are and she needs them. Jan nods and says ‘You got it Chen.’ Love this for her. Smitty comes up and ask if she’s in charge? She says yeah I guess. He looks so relieved and hands the reins over HA

Here comes the scene where I wanna drop kick Ashley into a volcano. I think I’ve been much harsher on Chris than I have her so far. But this is where that changes. Tim is just getting out of surgery. JUST. What does she do? Project her crap onto Tim. Then break up with him for it. Girl, you knew he was a cop from the damn jump. For MONTHS. You knew this. Wasn’t a secret he kept from you. Yet you decide to condemn him for it cause of an injury he had years ago. This has to be one of the most incredibly selfish things I’ve ever seen. That line from 5x08 ‘You deserve someone who’s worth the effort.’ Clearly to Ashley, Tim wasn’t worth the effort.

Breaks my heart for Tim. Leaving him alone post surgery. I hate her for this. I really do. When Lucy would’ve lost her damn mind even knowing about this. The only way she would change her mind is if he retired. Cool so you didn’t get what you wanted so you bail on him? Awesome. Real classy of you. This was just all their crappy communication, incompatibility and just being so wrong for each other coming to a head. At the absolute worst time for Tim. The way he says 'I just got out of surgery...' Breaks my heart. Let me at her Tim. I'm Italian we're scrappy.

I also just wanna hug him so very much. What a shitty thing to do. It’s a rough ride to 5x08. This one just hurts to watch. But good riddance to bad rubbish as they say. Tim was only in that relationship cause it was safe. To fill the hole in his heart Lucy left. And she didn’t even do that good of a job... She did him a favor really. The insane amount of symbolism between Lucy and Ashley in this ep is glaring. When it’s the right person this stuff doesn’t matter. She asks him if she can get him anything? No. Get the hell out. You aren’t fit to breathe the same air as him let alone be in his presence anymore. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. You won’t be missed.

We return to Lucy at Grey’s desk looking exhausted as hell. He comes in to relieve her. He asks how did it go? She lies and says it was great…. Wade laughs and says ‘It was great?’ He tells her he spoke with the communication supervisor. That she did a masterful job of managing calls with half the normal staff. Lucy thanks him but says she is more than ready to hand it back to him.

She asks about Tim’s laparoscopic? Grey sighs and tells her the news. It’s the way he softly delivers it. Knowing how sick with worry she’s going to be. The man knew. We see the absolute panic on her face. She goes from tired to extremely alert and worried af. That man is the important person in her life. She doesn’t have to blink before she’s at the hospital for him.

Let’s talk about this panicked absolutely panicked walk to his room. How she’s desperately searching for him once she arrives. The way she rubs her tattoo when she reaches it. Gah it’s so good. I love Melissa doing that small touch with her tattoo anytime she is worried/stressed. It’s like she can’t breathe until her eyes are on him. That she won't relax until she can see that he’s safe and ok.

The shaky way she approaches his bed. Bracing herself for the worst since she knows NOTHING about his surgery. Asking him so softly if he’s ok? Getting angry asking 'Why no one told her in the first place?' Tim is smiling because he’s just so damn happy she cares about him. That’s she’s here. He tells her everything went ok. He'll make a full recovery. That he told everyone to keep her in the dark. She goes from worried wifey to scolding LOL

Tim’s answer is so damn revealing. Lucy is picking up on the feelings he’s just laying out for her. Telling her he didn’t want her to worry. Lucy putting the pieces together in her reply. Tim couldn’t be more obvious in his affection for her in this moment. Truly think Lucy was catching onto his feelings right here. It’s the soft way she repeats it back with a very affectionate smile on her face. She loves this man so much. It's written all over her face.

They’re both so sweet and loud in their feelings in this moment. This is such married behavior it’s unreal. He could’ve used Lucy in this whole situation. But once again puts her above his own needs. Because Tim Bradford. Literally screaming his feelings at her in this moment. Tim is realizing this as she parrots back what he did. Goes back on the defensive saying to slow her roll LOL

That he misspoke he was really talking about the station. Uh huh. Sure babe that’s what you’re talking about…Continuing on to say he didn’t want to distract her with worrying about him. So she could properly take over from Smitty. Lucy’s BS detector is out and it’s going off like crazy. He knows she would’ve let the station burn to be with him. To have someone by his side. Instead of calling him out on it further she just does a knowing ‘Mmm-hmm.’

He then goes into proud hubby mode. Look at this man. Like I said in 5x03 he looks at her like she’s hung the moon and stars. Does that by saying he heard she saved the day. Lucy decides to banter back at him. Instead of just taking his praise. Being sassy af in her reply instead of just thanking him. I love this because it shows the comfortability that is still there.

Telling him it wasn't that hard. Pretending she wasn't phased at all by this daunting task. Tacking on she doesn't know why he's always complaining LOL He just complimented her and she knows he means it. So instead of shying away from it she engages in flirty banter with her person. Tim catching onto her game joins in saying 'Really? Just smooth sailing?' They easily fall back into their natural banter here.

Lucy then cracks with a big smile for him. Saying ‘No…it was awful!’ Haha The comfortable solace of their banter coming to life in this moment. It makes my heart so happy after the last few eps. Lucy feels their flow returning. So she decides to rant about her day. Saying to him 'How can so many things go wrong in one day?' ha

Tim returning fire with a sassy reply of his own. Shooting back it wasn’t even a particularly bad day. The flirty body language from Lucy my god. Be more telling my goodness. Does my heart good them bantering and bickering. It's so nice to see after the heaviness they've been carrying around. They both had horrid days. Lucy with the shift from hell. Tim with almost being paralyzed and having emergency surgery.

You wouldn’t know that from watching them banter in this scene. They haven’t had this kind of back and forth in forever. We haven’t seen them this light in weeks. Haven’t see them be themselves at all since 5x01. Look at these two. They’re practically glowing from this sassy banter exchange. Just the pick me up they both needed.

Lucy asks where’s Ashley? Tim stutters around and says he sent her home. She was ‘exhausted.’ Ugh my heart. He’s too hurt to tell her what happened. She’s worried enough about him as is. He won’t add to it. His default gear putting her first. Lucy says ‘Ok.’ believing his lie. She goes to sit down because if she isn’t going to be here Lucy sure as hell is. We talked about symbolism for this ep at the very beginning. This is that in a nutshell.

Lucy filling the seat next to his bed that Ashley has vacated. Not that she is aware of that at this point but Tim is. Lucy makes the choice to stay with him. It means more to Tim in this moment than she’ll ever know. Her automatic reaction is to stay so he doesn’t have to be alone post surgery. Knowing he would like the company even if he doesn’t ask for to. She just knows him that well. This moment means so much to Tim.

He is very gun shy from Ashley legit just abandoning him. He questions why she’s sitting down. The shock is all over his face when she originally takes that seat. Lucy’s answer is wonderful and obvious to her. 'I’m keeping you company.' Thinking what else would I be doing after rushing to come see you? I also think she just wants to keep an eye on him. Make sure he’s really ok.

She is putting him first in this moment. Just like she always has. Always will. Tim tells her she doesn’t have to. Then Lucy does a terrible job of hiding her own feelings. Giving him heart eyes galore replying ‘I know.’ Basically saying ‘I know but I love you.’ No where else she’d rather be. It’s why his smile Is so damn soft for her. She doesn’t have to stay. She WANTS to be with him. Keep him company while he recovers from something so awful.

She is choosing him in this moment and he knows it. It’s written all over his handsome face. He is so grateful to her in this moment. Her presence being a salve to his emotional and physical wounds. Gah I love this episode so very much. Just another ep showing how Lucy is very much his person and Ashley was never close to that. Not in million years. Such a good one after low content drought. Sure it was intentional by the writers to starve us a bit then deliver this gem of ep ❤️

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Side notes- non chenford

Love learning about Angela’s brother’s. Also that final scene with her mom makes me cry every time. It’s my own issues but I’m jealous. Angela deserves that apology. Yeah she’s a bad ass but even a bad ass still needs their mom. The way her mom owns up to it and apologizes. My heart. It makes me sad cause I’ll never get that so it gets me right in the feels. But so glad she got it.

Whew we're 5 eps down already unreal. Thank you to everyone who likes, comments and reblogs. You are the reason I do this :) see you in 5x06