#i have an endless amount of stuff to complete but i need to just be at the point im not falling asleep at my desk hah

[chronsart]

Hello, I hope everyone has a happy new year.

I've been gone for a while, so I feel like its important to let people know where I've been, and I felt like maybe this could help someone if they read it.

I've had a rough year. Really who hasn't. I'm certainly not experiencing the worst fate a human could in this time. Even if they're not the same though, everyone faces their own Titan, their own kind of wall. It makes me feel small. But... kind of seeing everyone elses makes it a little easier for me to stand in the shadow of my own.

I've experienced some awful things over the years. Emotional and physical problems, but above all, what may be the worst, is that I've had a terrible relationship with my art and my writing. With everything I've drawn, I've felt as though my work has been nothing but disappointing or largely far from what I want. I've had this large, oppressive wall that makes me feel as though I can't or am unable to express myself the way that I want. I haven't had much faith in myself. Negative in fact. But... things have started to change. So, in 2024, I want to make the difference clear.

Things started changing in me in 2023. Maybe it was in play earlier than that. I had wins and failures, but I was able to pick myself up after those and try again. I felt lost. I looked for purpose, found a job, and a place I thought I might belong, and then lost it. I had done something wrong. It bothered me. But, rather than just stop and feel like this mental block, this wall had moved a little closer- I tried again. I didn't exactly push the wall back just yet. But i started to really look at it, and test the bricks. Take a shovel and really wack em. It didn't really do much at first, but I gave it a shot. At least I was angry. I didn't want to accept this anymore. But I couldn't very well break the wall with a shovel... so I dug a hole instead, beside the wall. I couldn't dig under the wall. It went too far. So I planted a seed inside it. The plant would need light eventually, but all seeds begin in darkness. So I put down my shovel, and I waited.

Towards the later quarter of last year, my life started to change. I had learned many new skills, I solved a few of the problems that were burdening me, and I have begun to feel as though I might be able to move forward. I started wandering into many unfamiliar things in life, and while I was scared at first, I wasn't so much by the time I'd charged through them. Or was dragged through, more like, in some cases. I'm trying my best to get into the swing of things, but the change of pace has left me very tired and I imagine I'll be struggling with that for a while as i adjust. I've still got a ton of bricks to break, and the hammer I made is still kind of heavy, but the wall is coming down.

I started selling plants in the hope that I could have a sort of backup to art. I just needed some distance. (But i also felt like I was running away. I just didn't really want to admit it.) I set up an art business selling plants, and ended up meeting locally with a customer to hand off their plant. Normally, I'd just sit it out and wait for them to show up after all the payment was in order. But, this time they knocked, so I came out to talk for a small bit, and... they ended up buying more plants, what do you know. And then we just started talking about things. Life, what we both did. We were both exhausted trying to keep things going, but we were moving. I mentioned my art on the side... I thought about just leaving it out of the conversation entirely, but it sorta slipped out of me.

This turned out to be the right thing to say. They said that they were opening a gallery. I was invited to be a part of it. After a month or so, we got things going. Yesterday, I was the first artist to have sold their work there. This is the first gallery I've ever been a part of, and it felt really nice to be a part of it and to meet so many other artists and hear their stories.

I realized I've been observing my art through a very dark lens. Yesterday, I was able to see my work through the eyes of other people. Despite all the flaws I saw in my work, other's saw the things they loved in it. And I know its not the first time. There have been plenty of people online who think what i create is cool. I guess I've just been blind to it. In a way I am. Even though I can see the numbers and the hearts, they don't really mean much to me if I can't really see the faces and hear the reactions of the people who see my work and what they innitially think of it, or when they see it in person. Art through a screen just isn't the same as when you hold it in your hands, and behold it in your world. Maybe, that's a good enough reason to start a physical sketchbook.

My art got printed for the first time in years two days ago. When i saw it innitially, laying on this bench, I was a little scared to approach it. I remembered all the flaws in that art, and this coil of anxiety wound up in my chest. But... I saw the look on the face of this person next to me, just genuinely looking at the art for what it was. After a moment, that coil loosened, and all those depressive thoughts slipped away. I remembered then when i was making that art, how I made it. What i wanted to make vs how it turned out. I didn't hit the mark exactly, but I could still appreciate the result. I even remembered the experience of drawing it fondly... and I kind of wished that I'd recorded it. Maybe i could have appreciated it better. I even wanted to create an alternative to that drawing. It felt really nice. It felt relieving. Like I could pick up a pencil again without worrying so much what i was going to create, to do it all over again. I even looked forward to it.

I guess working with my plants helped me figure things out in a weird, round-about way. And even my plants aren't perfect. They've lost leaves, wilted, died, but I've been learning to fix some of the mistakes I'd made. I've even managed to bring some of my plants back from the fucking dead, and I've managed to keep my others alive. Healthy even, thankfully. I do run a plant business afterall, but it took me roughly three years to get decent at growing them. And now I have around 400 plants in my house, and have plans to build a green house, maybe in the spring this year.

My art on the other hand... has just been so rooted into my damaged psyche that I haven't been able to open it up to becoming sustainable, despite people asking me about it. Maybe that will change this year. It feels like I can start to make it so. I want to reach out this year. I want to make people happy, even if I can't see them myself.

So... while I'm still terribly critical of anything I create, I feel like I can forgive myself a little more, and accept as well that while I can't make anything perfect to any degree, I can make a few things that are good and be happy with that. Even if i fail, the most important thing that I do is try again and make something new. Make a few things that I can like, despite what the nagging doubt in my head says.

I really hope that I can come to feel as though I can breathe again and to believe in my art and stories again. Maybe I can allow myself share more freely in the coming year. I feel like its more tangible of a possibility that I can believe in. Already I'm making more art, and more story projects to release. And I'm certainly not perfect, but I'm going to regret not trying just because I was afraid of making a mistake. I've learned, that making a mistake is easy, and getting back up is hard- but staying down hurts so much worse.

Right now, my seed has grown into a lovely little tree. It's reached a little further than my wall now, reaching light over the top that I've begun to see through its leaves.

I hope that the coming year is good to you. But if it isn't, I hope you find the strength you need to make it the best that you can. Maybe, collectively, we will make this year a little easier.

If you find yourself stuck like I have, maybe grow yourself a plant. Even if you're bad at it. Like, even the "I kill every plant I touch" kind of bad. I was there too. Its not something bound in this mystic "talent" people think you're born with when you're suddenly good at something. It's just like art. So, maybe, give yourself a chance. Find one, learn about it. What it likes, what it hates. Add it to your routine, or let it help you to create one. Every new little leaf and flower, is so rewarding to see when they appear. Each new leaf is different, even though its the same plant. Sometimes the first few are a little weird till they get going. And the roots, those are really cool too. They go wherever the water and the food is so that they can help the plant grow better leaves. So they're really good at finding things, even in the dark. They just feel it out. They don't know what it is, but they know its good or bad. They're especially good at finding all those cracks in the bricks that are too dark for you to see. And sometimes, they even break something loose, and let in some light so you can see through to the other side.

[nofingjustaninchident]

Helloo!!! im in such a Jason Grace era these days and fics for him are SO limited in the fandom?? its actually super sad. i loved your previous jason fic smm, Would you consider making a Jason x fem!reader where Jason just has a veryy bad day, he gets overwhelmed by everything and everyone, and he just cries into reader's arms and she comforts him?

i feel like he deserved to just cry it all out atleast once, considering the amount of pressure the poor boy has had from everything :( so i would lovee to read about that!

⛧° as long as we're together °⛧

⛧° 。 ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆༺♱༻⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ 。°⛧

⛧° 。 ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆༺♱༻⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ 。°⛧

content: jason grace x fem!reader

warnings: angst but then it’s fluff, kinda short, cursing, 5’3 (1,60m) reader, life in New Rome!

a/n: HA LOOK WHO’S POSTING TWICE IN JUST ONE DAY???? hehehe i love this request so much my boo deserves more in his life i don’t fucking care.

⛧° 。 ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆༺♱༻⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ 。°⛧

Sometimes it’s just too hard to be Jason Grace.

The mighty son of Jupiter. Pontifex Maximus. Counselor of the Zeus cabin. Juno’s Champion. Hero of Omlympus. Centurion of the Fifth Cohoort.

The titles were endless. And so was the work.

And everyone, and i mean everyone, counted on him for various things and reasons.

“Hey Jason, are you coming to capture the flag?” Annabeth asked, every week.

“Hey superman, come to bunker 9!” As always, Leo wanting to show him some new cool tricks or projects.

“Oi, sparky! Can you help me pick an outfit for my date?” Piper would ask him.

He was just so tired. He just wanted to tell them all to fuck themselves.

But he would never. He was too noble to do that. He just wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he knew his friends were needing him and he was… well, being a human and an young adult, taking care of his own stuff.

So when he got home from another endless day, back to his shared apartment in New Rome and to his beautiful girlfriend, who made him his favorite dessert - brownies with caramel and peanuts -, he broke down almost instantly.

Obviously, you ran towards him, scooping him in your arms - which was a difficult task, since he was almost a whole foot taller than you - but you did it anyways, pulling him close to your body, letting him sob in your shoulder as you tried to soothe him.

You had never seen him cry like that, clinging on you for dears life. Once again, he was never one to show his real feelings to anyone, not even your or Thalia.

You scooted him in your arms, rubbing soft circles at his back while you whispered small ‘shh’s and ‘it’s gonna be okay’s in his ear, the both of you say in the floor of your cozy apartment.

After a few minutes of compulsive crying, your shoulder and the upper part of your white tank top completely soaked in hot, wet tears, he finally calmed down - at least a little.

“Hey, honey.” You finally whisper into his ear as he pulls away from your embrace, eyes all puffy and red as he sniffles and wipes his tears with the back of his hand.

“Hey..” He mumbles, his tone low and cracked as you kept caressing his hair smoothly. You caressed his hair and gave a soft and gentle kiss so his cheek.

“Are you okay?” You were answered with a soft nod of his head as he scooted closer to you, snuggling against you warm body and keeping his head on your chest. He looked like a five year old child, and that made you smile. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.. not now. Is that okay?” He asked, his voice all mushy and muffled by his cheek tightly pressed against you body.

“Of course it is, my love. Do you want to eat? We have pasta with that sauce you like.” She said between little kisses in his eyes, his cheeks, the bridge of his nose and his lips. “And i made you your favorite brownies.”

“Mmhmm…” He let out a content mumble, finally pulling away from him and giving you a kiss on the lips. “After that i… after that i’ll talk to you, ‘kay?”

“‘Kay. But you have to eat before. Come on, i’ll help you get up.” She said as she got up and held out her hand for him to grab.

You finally got on your feet, and you turned around to reheat the food. When you were at the oven, he wrapped his arms around your waist and nuzzled his face into your neck, breathing heavily as he kept the closest he could to you.

Soon, the food was on the table, and the doorbell rang. It was the girl that walked with your dog. You thanked her and pulled Thor, your golden retriever, inside the house.

He immediately went to Jason, wiggling his tail and giving him the biggest licks in the world while the blond laughed.

You smiled at the sight. You knew that he was obviously hurting with something, and you were going to discover with what, but, right now, he just needed some love.

You gave him just that, as you ate together chilling and chatting about your days, you talking more than him.

He helped you with the laundry while you washed the dishes, and the chores were finished very quickly. You went back and cuddled up on the couch, a massive ball of fur, aka your dog, resting comfortably between you two.

You heard when Jason sighed and felt his shoulders shaking, showing his impending collapse, once again. You cyy it deles him closer to you as he cried and cried. His sobs were the only thing heard in the house.

Ten minutes later, when he was calmer, you were stroking his hair in the softest way you could, making sure he would be ready to talk.

“I-i’m just so… tired. Of everything and everyone. It’s- i know it’s selfish, but i can’t help but want to just… ran away. To just stay with you and Thor and give up on the rest of the world.” He said, his words are muffled and smudgy as he holds onto you.

“I know, baby… You shouldn’t work yourself out. You’re doing too much. More than you should, and you know that. You have too much work.” She said, kissing the top of his head.

“I just- i can’t let them just, you know, alone. It’s.. i can’t.” The son of Jupiter said, crying more.

“Honey, they won’t be alone. We have Reyna and Frank and Percy and lots of other people that you can use some help from. You’re not alone. Ever.” She said, reassuringly.

“But-“

“No buts. You’re gonna take a week off, and we’re just gonna hang out here, together, with Thor. No works, no college, no Pontifex Maximus stuff. Just y/n and Jason. And that’s not a request.”

He mumbles something but snuggles closer to you. “Fine. As long as we’re together.”

a/n: i’m literally so proud of myself bro, i got to do two, TWO works today. i’m evolving boos

[toffeebrew]

Ink sans headcanons!

Disclaimer: I don't claim anything to be canon. Although, I tried to make sure it didn't conflict with canon for the most part. Erm, I also didn't check the tag before I made this, so of any these are canon/popular hcs i didn't know before making this.

Ink has something similar to a bag of holding tied to his belt. He picks up little trinkets in the aus he visits (something small, of course, like a flower!) It can hold an endless amount of objects. It also stands as as way of reminding him of where hes been and who he's met! he puts any gifts he gets there as well.

He has this weird ability that if you point at something he knows the exact hex code and color name it is. Why? Not even he knows, but it may be a creator giving him knowledge somehow thing.

For his paints? They all taste a little different. They taste like, something? But the exact flavor is so vague it's "hard for him to describe". If anything, they taste like a whole bunch of flavors at once. A little overwhelming to the palate. They all differ in sensation as well, fizzy, smooth, milky etc.

(more yapping under the cut)

Consistency wise, they both smell and have the thickness of acrylic paint. Specifically that kinda watery acrylic paint you can get for cheap at a store (like apple barrel).

Each of his vials has three dosages. One vial is like daily usage. But they can sometimes run out unevenly depending on how bad/good that day is (ex: on an extremely bad day, he has to take more of a positive emotions) so he had extra markings to "top off". Given there's no consistent time frame hes in, he just takes them whenever he wakes up. [ note: this particular headcanon was partially inspired by @/the-local-eldritch-microwave headcanon lol ↓]

He can actually last maybe about few days without his vials, but his emotions just become duller after 24-48 hrs. Taking a sharp decline after about 72 hrs. Their mobility and mental health declines with it as well, so he'd rather not wait for the decline to start! haha unless he got stuck in some situation where he had no choice!!! :D haha

He tried chugging all his vials at once for experimentation! He vomited everywhere. He'll not be attempting that again. Too much at once...

He has a reallllyyyy long scarf so he has enough room for all of his notes. It drags behind him and also dramatically blows behind him when there's a draft. It tracks stuff in it, due to its length. The bottom of his scarf is all colorful because of all the crap hes tracked in it! LOL

If he ever needed it, he'd add more fabric to the end for more notes. I guess eventually it would get cartoonishy long. At least, until it became completely impossible to manage.

On that topic, hes actually quite messy. Although, its more in a "organized chaos" sorta way. He knows where everything is, even if you don't. hes also MESSY not dirty very clear distinction!

In my mind the reason Ink would have a gap tooth in my version is when he was a "sketch" his teeth were more uh implied? So when he's born (how the hell would you word that? conceived? idk) he now has a permanent gap tooth.

[genderqueerdykes]

Ditch Etsy for Good: A Disabled Etsy Seller's Experience

i started my Etsy store in August of 2022. I was in desperate need of income at the time, as I am disabled, and waiting for my full disability payments to come through. I currently make $245/month off of a general assistance program that's meant to "help" while you're waiting for those payments.

I needed, at the time, $900/month for my studio apartment, because I was on a month-to-month lease, and could not re-new it, as I was the secondary renter, and my abusive ex whom I could not contact was the primary renter. They needed his signature to renew the lease, or else I was on month-to-month status, which meant they could increase my rent to whatever price they saw fit at any point.

I was struggling to stay alive. I had a bunch of kandi supplies I had gathered over the years, pony beads, string, all that kind of stuff. So i accrued some extra supplies to make other types of necklaces and chokers. Keep in mind my level of poverty, and the level of inflation in 2022. I was having to accrue supplies secondhand, from thrift stores. Everything I bought and sold was upcycled, save for the few times I could afford things to fill in the gaps from craft stores.

After I gathered supplies, I went to work. I spent countless hours making all types of jewelry. Not really sleeping. Just countless hours of stringing beads, if I woke up in the middle of the night from a bad dream or stress about homelessness, I would go back to work. I've been homeless before. Several times. Never lived on the street or in a shelter, but I have lived in hotels, cars, crashed on couches and have run from getting kicked out for making little money endless times.

I drank a lot of coffee and ate very little. Eating consumed time, time that I didn't have. Once I was done making things, it was time to photograph every. single. item., then edit them, and upload them to Etsy. I had to create listings for each individual item, all of which cost $0.20 to create, and again to renew when it ran out in 3 months if not purchased. There was already a start-up cost.

Shipping made my life a nightmare. Etsy charged me for each and every single label. I tried free shipping at first, as it's a huge draw for customers, but labels were around $3.69 from my state to the mainland United States at the time, creeping ever closer to $4. For anywhere else it would easily come to $10 or more, international shipping was easily $20 - $40. Even if the customer paid for shipping I still had to go through the process of purchasing a label.

This didn't account for the fact that I had to purchase printer, ink and paper at some point to keep printing these labels. Ink is wildly expensive and your cartridges run out faster than they should. They are rigged to flag as empty when they're not. This also does not account for ink and paper lost when the printer does something in error, which is often. The office at my apartment complex was willing to print labels and packing slips for me for a while, but they cut me off after a few months.

The biggest kick in the teeth was the processing time for my payments. Because I shipped my first few orders without tracking labels. Etsy put a hold on my money for the next 3 months. They would take a random amount of time to process each payment. I could never figure out the schedule. My money would sometimes take days or weeks to arrive when I set Etsy to a "daily" payment schedule. It was torture. I was sweating over not having money constantly, and missing payment deadlines left and right.

I was getting orders at every hour of the day. I didn't "clock out" of this job. I had to change the notification sound of the Etsy Seller app on my phone because when I heard it, I would panic. I wasn't excited, I was filled with dread. It was never ending, and I was constantly stressed about getting orders out on time. I never had time to rest. I didn't get days off. I was on the job 24/7. Unless you completely uninstall the Etsy app and refuse to check it fora while, you can't really clock out of this job.

This isn't even touching the fact that Etsy also takes a cut out of every single sale you make, meaning you have to jack up your prices wildly either to make free shipping reasonable so you're not losing money on each sale, or you have to play a dance of figuring out what the best balance between shipping and item costs are, which is time consuming. It's a lot of math and comparing against your niche's market.

Etsy has an ads feature, which you must again pay for, where they will run ads for your products in random banner ads and whatnot. You are charged if one customer clicks the ad, not purchases something, meaning this is a complete fucking scam. The minimum is $1/day and you are forced to subscribe monthly. You can cancel at any point, but sometimes it takes a full day for this to cancellation to go through. The Etsy Ads feature sucks ass. I received exactly 2 orders through their service and kept it on for a few weeks here and there. It's horrid. You do not receive a significant enough boost in traffic to make the investment worth it. Also consider how many people use adblockers these days. This isn't hard to see.

The amount of time you have to spend promoting and boosting your own shop, buying supplies, creating and photographic products, uploading them to the website, and everything else in between is not worth the amount of money you make. You do not turn a profit unless you are selling very high end products like fine jewelry and antiques. Anyone else in the bottom rungs loses money through one avenue or another, Etsy finds ways to make the entire process draining and expensive for the seller.

The also will not provide you a 1099 document to file your taxes for your earned income unless you have made over $25,000 in one year on Etsy, which is literally impossible unless you make, as I said, fine jewelry. The average Etsy seller does not make this much in one year. We do not make a liveable wage, yet Etsy pretends like we do.

I didn't realize how draining it was to run this store until I put it in vacation mode. I'm shutting it down as soon as I'm able to. I could not handle the pressure of orders coming in in the middle of the night. I could not handle the pressure of not being able to remember which bracelets I could wear, and which ones were up on the store. Or which ones I could give to friends freely without having to issue someone a refund because I made a mistake. The worry of sending the wrong customer the wrong product was constantly on my mind. Every review that came in made me scared I had fucked up or provided an inferior product. I was distraught, broken and scared.

Now I'm much more free. The piddly jackshit amount of income I made was not worth it at all. I don't think I made back the cost of supplies and I definitely was never compensated for the sheer amount of labor I put into my products and orders. Etsy just kept kicking me while I was down and now that they have made it so that you are unable to file a class action lawsuit against them, they are only becoming more tyrannical.

Etsy does not care about their small sellers. They only care about the big cash cows who bring in big views and line Etsy's pockets with the Etsy Ads program. If you're too poor too keep up they'll chew you up and spit you out. Fuck Etsy. Fuck the lack of respect for their sellers. Fuck them for holding my money randomly for 3 months because I didn't know tracking labels were REQUIRED in their eyes. Fuck Etsy for never letting me know when I was getting paid, and for paying me on such an irregular schedule. Fuck Etsy for the fucked up fees and expensive shipping labels.

Fuck Etsy for everything. Let them go. Cut the cord. Navigate to Ko-Fi or somewhere else. Let this horrid site fucking die.

[cinnamonest]

No no, because yandere Adachi has so much potential. Like imagine him getting attached to just some convenience store worker he sees daily on his way home. He’d be friendly, kind, and even warn her of being safe on her way home because of the killer loose. Oh? You’re near the end of your shift? Why not just let him take you home? He’s a cop, after all. He’s trustworthy. darling would never see it coming whenever he knocks her out and drags her into his apartment. He’d be so very cruel, too. Never taking her gag off, threatening her for one wrong move. He’d expect her to play right into his fantasies (be too frightened of him to fight back and then act just like a perfect wife/girlfriend, no misbehaving needed) while acting completely insufferable.

I have like an endless amount of ideas/scenarios for this.

(Crazy that I did not even remember what day it is/notice the perfect timing until just now as I was copying this to post, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOHRU ADACHI)

YOU get it anon. Also PLEASE share those ideas, same goes to all 2 of my fellow Adachi appreciators here, because I have so much to say about this awful man. I'm just gonna ramble a bit here

//nasty stuff here, the usual but extra dark/intense because this is Adachi we’re talking about so how could it not be

-----

Tohru absolutely utilizes his status as a cop to his advantage. He knows it adds an element of social trust, that you won't be as on-guard with him as you would any other guy. He’s there to protect the general public, to apprehend bad guys — of course he’s a good guy!

He loves that you appreciate it — that adorable little voice, before you got to know him well enough to go by a name-basis, where you'd say ‘thank you officer! Have a great day!’ whenever he stops by the store.

So cute, so pure, so innocent, he thinks.

He wants to ruin you.

The man has some violent, violent thoughts. He doesn't even try to keep things pure and wholesome when he thinks about you, nor even limited to normal perversions. The very day he meets you, he goes home and spends the rest of the day jerking off to imagining your squeals and cries and tears with his hands around your throat. Oh, how he wants to feel you struggle, afraid and confused and the way you'd feel so betrayed when the policeman you trusted to keep you safe is balls deep in every hole you have, holding you down with ease. You look like you'd be weak. God, it would be so easy—

No, it will. It will be so easy, because he will do it.

You're probably not aware of it either. Most girls aren't, he thinks, they have no idea how weak and easily overpowered they are. He of all people would know — even when they're fighting for their lives, they’re so weak.

But you should be weak. It’s cute. Just like how you should be scared, innocent, sweet, obedient… the man definitely is the type to construct an unrealistic idea of darling in his head as perfect, someone who has no flaws in his mind, and he would absolutely have a “purity” fixation… so if that illusion is shattered in any way, he becomes very spiteful.

Canonically, he develops a crush over a woman he doesn’t even know and feels entitled to women on sheer principle of liking them, going to the extent of a woman having her own life as a “betrayal”… you’re not exempt from the exact same thing.

So God forbid he find out you’ve ever had a boyfriend or lover of any kind in the past… or worse… he’s going home one day, expecting to see his adorable beloved and wave to her from the street, only to spot her hugging and holding hands with some other guy? To realize that she's had a boyfriend this whole time?

Oh, he loses it. No outwardly — not yet — but he goes home, punches a wall, seethes and paces around for a while before moping in bed for some time.

It’s like a switch flipped in his head. Ugh. It’s like a betrayal. How could you… and as he mopes, it becomes so very obvious that this was intentional. You led him on on purpose. What were you thinking, being nice to him? You obviously wanted him to like you. It feels malicious, it’s painful.

You’re so stupid, so naive. Dumb little whore. Don’t you realize you’re playing with fire? Didn’t you think about the consequences your actions would have?

Because oh, will they have consequences. No way is he letting you get away with doing this to him. You’ll pay for what you’ve done.

He entertains that idea at the peak of his bitter wallowing — it would be just as easy as before. You probably have a TV set in your home. He could break in and just…

No. Dammit, he’s already too attached to you. He’s known you personally for a while now. He can’t do that. He wants to keep you.

It’s okay… well, no, it’s not okay, but he’s a very generous guy, you know. If you apologize and beg good enough, he’ll even consider forgiving you.

And you do. You squirm and cry and claw at his hands when he holds you up by your throat. It’s not good enough the first time, but when he squeezes down hard and tells you to try harder, asks you if that’s the best you can do, you finally get it right, finally say how sorry you are and properly beg for him to not kill you.

It’s enough to adequately make amends and begin the atonement process, at least. You’ll have the rest of your lives together to complete that process.

He makes good use of you, after bringing you home. Darling is the perfect little squeeze toy to him. He deals with a lot of stress, you know? He spends all day getting yelled at and pushed around by Dojima, and underneath the bumbling airhead act, it makes him seethe. He used to go home and break things, punch walls, throw things… but now he doesn't have to do that. He can just take all that stress out on you and your poor holes.

Holding your head down with a painful grip in your hair with one hand, holding your hips up and jerking your body back against his, nails digging into your flesh with the other, ramming into you over and over until your insides are sore and raw. Or holding your head firmly in place as you gag and cough and try to pull your head away, fucking your throat with not even an ounce of mercy, jerking your head down all the way and holding it there when he cums down your throat.

The stress relief is verbal, too. Oh, he's so, so mean, calls you every degrading term you can think of when he's rutting into you.. but it also comes out outside of those times too. He vents to you, whether you care to really listen or not. Just goes on and on about everything that upsets him, how much he hates this and that, how he wishes this or that person would just die so he wouldn't have to deal with them anymore… you never really know how to respond, but thankfully he doesn't actually seem to be looking for much of a response, more just someone to listen to him. In truth, it almost makes you feel a little bad for him... but you try to stave off such thoughts.

But that's just his default. That's when he's having a decent day, just the natural amount of stress he has. When he's had a bad day, it's much worse.

You learn to tell when he's had a bad day the moment he walks through the door — you hear how harsh each motion is, how he opens and closes the door, his footsteps, even his breathing as he makes his way over to you. The gruff ‘come here’ as he storms over to you, the harshness with which you're dragged over to bed and thrown down.

Those days are more violent — you end up with scratches and bites and bruises all over your body, strands of hair coming out where he pulled so hard, holes twitching and spasming and cum pouring out of you as you lay there exhausted and sore (as for him, though, he's out like a light as soon as it's over, and the grip he keeps on you means you're not getting up again either).

Being a cop also gives him a lot of tools most people wouldn't have access to. He has easy access to handcuffs and weapons. The handcuffs keep you however he wants you positioned, and he'll use some on your ankles too if need be.

He’s used the stun gun on his belt as a threat plenty of times — you used to think he was bluffing, but one day you go too far and it turns out it's not a bluff at all. It's a horrible, horrible sensation… but even worse is the way he laughs while he shocks you, exhilarated by — and probably, honestly, getting off to — the way you squeal and spasm.

Unfortunately, it awakens something — maybe he could use it on you more often, put it right up to your most sensitive places and see how you react… although not without building up dread and anticipation first, pressing it to your skin so that you beg and cry and he taunts you so mercilessly, with that awful awful smile on his face, before pushing the button and hearing you cry.

...But he's not always so awful. He still includes you in his normal life, at least. You almost wish he didn't. It's this oddly domestic vibe, once all the brutality of the day is out and he's tired and bored.

You talk — at first you kept being annoying and pesting him about letting you go, to which — much to your dread, a pit in your stomach every time he says it — he tells you you're never leaving, so shut up about it. But eventually, with no one else to interact with, you talk about all sorts of things, sometimes almost feeling like a normal conversation with a friend. He brings home food for you, and admittedly, you're almost surprised by the fact that he actually does ask what you want and gets you something different from what he gets based on your tastes. You didn't expect that sort of consideration.

You watch TV (he keeps you chained out of actual reach of the TV itself, just in case you get any ideas), the news (only for him to awkwardly change the channel when your disappearance was being discussed on local news), he even takes your request once or twice to pick up a movie to watch (although he's very critical, particularly if it's too ‘girly’ for his tastes).

But he's still so, so mean, such a bully. You have a lot of time to reflect on it all, and one day you confront him with it — tell him that you know that the reason he does all of this to you, the reason he can't just be normal is because he's bitter and spiteful and afraid of rejection. At first, you sound angry — and as you speak, the way his face contorts with disgust and fury makes you think you may just push him over the edge to actually kill you, and frankly, at this point, it's something you're willing to accept.

But then, tears in your eyes, voice growing quieter, you add—

I really liked you… I thought you were a good guy…

That makes him pause. He gets quiet. You see his face fall to an expression you can't quite name, eyes half-lidded and mouth pulled into a taut line.

Finally, he shrugs, giving you a cruel, snide grin.

Not my fault you were so stupid.

That's all the response you get, and remarkably, that last comment seems to make him let go of being infuriated over everything else you said. For a moment, though, you swear you catch him looking down at the ground with a miserable expression, as if those words actually had a profound effect on him… but it lasts only a second — as soon as he catches you looking at him, his eyes fixate on you again, that smile you hate so much comes creeping back, and your heart sinks as he takes agonizingly slow footsteps over to your helpless, shivering little form….

[olderthannetfic]

I do think a lot of the problem and the reason that more people (like the ones who seem to think that "top/bottom as myers-briggs personality types" jokes are exclusively coming from female-centric fandom spaces rather than gay male offline culture - which, btw, ignores that a whole bunch if not most female fanfic writers are themselves queer and there's a similar set of jokes and stereotypes in the lesbian community, but I digress) don't seem to understand what offline queer culture is like on here is that way too many of the people setting the tone for this in The Discourse on Tumblr are very young people who are newly out. In particular, a huge amount of the gay men on here who are telling people how very Problematic this is (when they're getting it from gay men and not circular discourse among other women in fandom who are claiming to speak on gay men's behalf) is coming from young gay men who don't have much of a community offline, and especially young gay trans men who often aren't yet presenting as male outside of the Internet. It's really hard to talk about, because it so easily risks saying those people's identities aren't valid - and like, we've seen TERFs weaponize that discourse to suggest that gay trans men involved in fandom are just straight women who identified too hard with their blorbos or something, as well as the endless use of "passing privilege" to suggest that bi people in F/M relationships are "basically straight" - but I think one thing people need to understand better is the difference between "your identity is valid, your personal experiences with homophobia/transphobia/etc. are valid" and "your judgments about the larger community that your identity makes you a member of are valid." Like, you do actually have to participate in a community to be able to be able to talk about what the consensus in it is, what the cultural norms are. You have to actually look up the history in order to know that history. If you're going to speak on behalf of All Gay Men you probably should know some beyond yourself - including ones who are not Very Online and/or aren't active in fandom - and that goes for both cis and trans gay men. (And the same is true for every subdivision of LGBTQ+, I've seen similarly bizarre takes about "lesbian culture" from 17-yro lesbians who clearly haven't talked to any outside of Tumblr and insular, dramatic Discords.)

Like, to use an analogy here to another kind of oppression: say you have a black person who was adopted by a white family very young and lived in an exclusively white neighborhood and doesn't know any other black people. Obviously, they are still black, and obviously they still experience racism (probably especially because they're an outlier in that community). Obviously, their own understanding of their identity and their experiences with racism are valid. But they aren't necessarily going to have any better of an understanding of the broader black COMMUNITY - cultural traditions, history, etc. - than a non-black person who was similarly not exposed to that community. They can only speak for themselves. And someone who isn't black but grew up near/in black communities (for instance, perhaps another transracial adoptee who was adopted by a black couple? or even just a non-black person who grew up in a heavily black neighborhood) might actually have a better sense of that broader community/culture than they do.

And this isn't a hypothetical. I've heard stuff like that about feeling like outliers in black American culture from everyone from the aforementioned transracial adoptees; to multiracial black people who were raised primarily by their non-black family; to black people who are recent immigrants from Africa rather than descendants of slaves; to black people from Europe or other parts of the Americas, who have some similarities in their culture but it's not completely 1:1. And especially from people who are some combo of the above. They have an understanding of themselves as black and of their relationship to race and racism, of course, but don't really feel like they have a particularly strong understanding of The Black Community or The Black Experience as we understand it in the USA.

I think what a lot of people don't understand is that newly-out queer people are often like that. A lot of other marginalized identities - like being a cis woman (this applies less to trans women unless they've known from early on) or being a POC - are ones where you grow up with an understanding of what that means and often a connection to a broader community that gives you some kind of consciousness of what it means to be A Woman or Black or Asian or whatever. But with queerness, it's usually not something you fully understand about yourself until adolescence or adulthood, and even when you do, you don't necessarily have access to a "community" around that until that age because you're probably being raised by cis straight people. You have to take time to discover that community and learn about it, and the culture and history that goes with, and when you start out you're going to be just as ignorant as a straight cis person who is similarly isolated from queer communities. (And frankly, a straight person with a lot of gay friends might know better than you do at first! As a lesbian with a lot of gay male friends, most of whom couldn't care less about my slash fanfic hobby if they even know about it, that's precisely why I know that these takes on Tumblr are so bizarre)

(Disability is the interesting one because it sometimes overlaps with this, sometimes doesn't - and one of the big divides in the community IME is around people who have lifelong understandings of themselves as "disabled" vs. came to it more recently, whether because the disability itself is a new thing or just their diagnosis of it. A lot of people in the second group can have very similar experiences and act in similar ways to newly-out queer people, and I know because I've lived both myself, lol.)

I think people have taken the idea of "everyone is the best expert on their own experience with oppression and their own identity" and distorted that into some weird essentialism where being gay or bi or trans or whatever gives you automatic understanding of "queer culture" or "queer history" without having to do the actual work of talking to people, participating in that community, studying history, etc. but that's just not true. Anyone can study that history and get to know those people. And yeah, as a queer or trans person you'll have a better opportunity to really deeply know and be part of that community than straight cis people with queer friends ever will, but you still have to like. Actually put yourself out there! You're not going to find it by just discoursing in a vacuum of ignorance.

--

Sadly, to all the Olds, this is very, very obvious, but there's no way to make it obvious to the people doing it. It's a matter of experience.

[turbulentscrawl]

Any headcanons for Embalmer and Andrew? 🥸

Oh yes! I am systematically working my way through most of the characters ehehe. I actually think I need to do some situational writing for Aesop as practice, he was a little harder for me to pin down than the other characters I've done so far.

As always, feel free to send me requests if you like my stuff <3 these are fun to do before work ;;

Identity(V) Headcanons: Aesop Carl

-With my current knowledge of the characters, I think Aesop is one of the more dangerous people in the actual horror-story telling behind IDV…. But I’ve been filling these under the game/stageplay setup where the manor is an unescapable, endless game and no one actually dies for realsies…so we’ll ignore his murderous training and tendencies for now.

-That said, he’s still going to be a very difficult guy to get along with. Aesop is confirmed as autistic, and most of his related struggles fall into social categories. He does not typically enjoy casual touch or conversations about anything other than his work. In fact, the longer the conversation is, the worse time he’s having. If there’s a lot of people around too?? He’s McStruggling.

-It takes him a very long time to become genuinely comfortable and friendly with someone, and only then does he start to explore them beyond his comfort zone. Luckily, since everyone is stuck in this would-be purgatory, you’ve got nothing but time!

-One-on-one time is best for Aesop, and while you’re first getting to know him it’s recommended you do not initiate this unless he’s in a public space. He’s mentally prepared to be approached at those times. If you try to barge in on his quiet time or safe spaces before he clears you to do so, it’s only going to hurt his opinion of you.

-He most definitely has long-stints of going nonverbal. At times, the amount of conversation expected of him is too much and he just shuts down completely. If he’s pressed too much during these times he may fall to tears or lashing out. He may, however, be willing to write out any answers that are very important or time-sensitive.

-The trustworthiness of the living and the dead are flip-flopped in Aesop’s mind. When someone is dead, they are a resting summation of all their deeds in life. He learns about who people were through the clues they leave behind: their health, their scars, their effects, the company they receive at their funerals. He considers these things to be more truthful than whatever the deceased would tell or show him about themselves. The living, meanwhile, are all actors, just proxies for what they want to be rather than what they actually are. This is a large reason why he feels closer to the dead than the living.

-Aesop’s favorite love languages are a little difficult to pin down, but I’m going to say Quality Time is his number one—especially when you’re good with parallel play and keep things quiet. This will foster feelings of safety and comfort in relation to your presence! He also likes Words of Affirmation, but mostly in the form of letters, as he’s a little biased for them from all the times he’s nosed through a patient’s effects. Even when he’s head-over-heels (or as close as he can be, since I honestly get AceAro vibes from him) he leans towards written communication but could learn to trust verbal praise in smaller doses.

-When he’s very close with someone, he can learn to enjoy a good hug now and then, or lend them his shoulder to lean on, but he always prefers to keep his arms uncaged so it’s easier to pull away. Unwelcome physical contact feels like bugs crawling under his skin. It’s obvious when he’s had far too much of it because that sensation leads to twitching and spasming, like he’s trying to shake it out.

-He likes to read! His favorites are mostly nonfiction. Biographies (not autobiographies) and other works of an educational nature are preferred, but he has been known to pick up some poetry every now and again. This is due in part to not having finished school and thirsting for all the knowledge he wasn’t allowed.

-He treats learning about his loved ones like reading these books; they are a list of facts and stories to be memorized. Small exceptions to any major preferences can be confusing for Aesop to keep track of, but in general he is very good at committing people’s likes, dislikes, and histories to memory.

-He doesn’t really care to celebrate his own birthday, but likes to help others celebrate theirs. The kitchen is far from his preferred workspace, but he’s actually a decent baker when the situation calls for it. The cake decoration….well, he’ll leave that to someone else. But the cake itself will taste good!

[trigunwritings]

Hey! Saw your new blog! Lovely layout! Anyway, if your accepting requests can I please have a request of vash traveling with a time traveler that claims they are from 21st century earth but are now stuck on Norman land? Maybe she tells him stories of all the wonders of the world?(huge trees that touch the sky, thousands of flowers of different colors, all the different types of donuts that exist, water that comes from the sky in such huge amounts it could flood a valley, volcanos that spew hot lava and giant glaciers of ice that float in giant pools of water) they just tell each other stories of their adventures on their respective planets while vash also teaches his time traveler buddy all the stuff about Noman land. Much thanks!

Vash's eyes fill with glittering awe as the words of home continue to fall from your lips. Of Earth. What had once been idle conversation to fill the awkward and empty air quickly became stories of things that had, at least at one point, been completely normal to you. As normal as things could be to a person who had been whisked away from everything familiar and safe in the blink of an eye. Even weeks after the fact, you still clutch onto the dire hope that you're simply dreaming a fantastical, horrifying dream.

"So you're telling me it could rain so much that it could fill up this entire gorge?"

The man's tone had not faltered from childish disbelief for a moment since deciding to tell him of the various wonders of Earth—it is so different from this... place, this No Man's Land of endless desert and scorching heat.

The fact that anyone could even survive upon such an inhospitable planet is beyond understanding.

Your eyes glance from one side of the rocky landscape to the other, then up towards where the edges of the rocks jut into the amazingly bright sky. Several meters high and several more wide at least. Idly, you wonder what could have happened in the history of this planet to create such a formation if rain was not the maker.

Nonetheless, you nod and look towards him again. "Easily," you say with a smile nearly forced. "There are plenty of places on Earth where the rain would fall so quickly that the ground can't absorb it quick enough—even in the desert. I think they were still called flash floods."

"Would it rain like that everywhere?"

"Oh no, not everywhere," you say, tapping a finger to your chin. "Lots of places didn't get so much rain that it washed everything away. There were forests and jungles, meadows and mountains—have you ever even seen a tree?"

"A tree?"

The blonde looks utterly befuddled by the word, though there's a thin veil of... recognition? He doesn't offer anything besides a look of genuine interest as that expression fades away, and you're not sure if you had simply misread him, and merely nod.

"A tree. It's tall and full of bright green leaves usually—Earth had all sorts, some were so huge you couldn't see the top, others grew fruit like apples and oranges."

You take a moment or so before glancing down towards your feet. There isn't even a tuft of grass, a sprig of green; dead or alive, there isn't an inch of plant growth to be found.

"Trees and grass... and bushes and flowers—never thought I'd be this desperate to even just see weeds or some cactuses."

Vash blinks, looking both as if he understands and doesn't at the same time, but before he can say anything the ground suddenly starts to shake beneath your feet. Not hard; it feels like a gentle rumbling as opposed to anything else, but fear rolls down your spine all the same.

"What-" you say, trying desperately to figure out if the shaking is coming from something large moving outside of what you can see within the valley of the gorge. "What is that? An earthquake?"

"Earthquake?" Vash sounds too amused, but lays a hand on your shoulder to steady you—perhaps more emotionally than physical. "That's just a sand-worm. Big one, I bet. They don't tend to surface in rocky places so I don't think we need to worry about anything."

A dozen questions immediately surface about nearly every word that came out of the man's mouth, but you shove them down so as to nod in silent acceptance of his answer. The rumbling continues for at least a minute before eventually calming down, leaving the ground beneath your feet still once more.

Vash removes his hand from your shoulder and adjusts himself, flashing a grin that looks almost stupidly energetic on his face.

"See? Nothing to worry about."

You simply remain silent, brows furrowing just enough over your downturned eyes that the stress must have looked obvious enough; your traveling partner quickly makes a noise to get your attention and gestures widely with his hands as he talks.

"Look, we're way too small to be considered any kind of good eating to a sand-worm like that—those things mostly eat tiny bug that live deep in the dunes out in the open sea anyway."

What?

"Sea?" The confusion grabbed you so quickly that there wasn't a moment to be concerned over the horrible way Vash had described such a monstrous thing—humans were too small? You narrow your eyes at him and tilt your head to the side. "What do you mean sea?"

He meets your confusion with some of his own, echoing the expression across your face.

"I mean... the open sand," he explains with a useless wave of his hand out towards the end of the gorge the two of you had entered from, where the sand dunes rolled on for miles upon miles. "No town for days, just dunes and stuff."

"That's...a desert."

Vash only looks more confused as you try to clarify his choice of words. It leaves you wondering if, perhaps, there's been a defined shift in what he means from your use of the language.

"A sea is a large body of water," you finally explain, uselessly trying to conjure up flashes of memories in your mind as if that would help you describe it perfectly into words he could connect with. "Like, huge. They're hundreds of miles wide at the smallest and deeper than anyone could ever swim. They have dolphins and whales and squids—"

"Are you sure you're not making some of those words up?" Vash asks with a chuckle, but you ignore him in favor of trying to finish your thoughts.

"—and we'd have huge ships that could sail across them, sometimes people would spend vacations on fancy cruises or— or scientists would find all sorts of new animals we never knew existed! They were huge and deep and filled with water and not sand—"

As your words turn less explanatory and more frantic, you swear that the world starts to shake just a little bit. Or maybe that's just you shaking, brain unable to wrap around the fact that this never-ending desert is not home, it's not Earth, and you are far, far away from anything even remotely familiar to you.

To this, Vash finally seems to take a step towards you, face empty of humor and instead filled with a look of soft concern.

"Hey hey hey—" his hands fall on your shoulders just hard enough that the pressure snaps your mind out of its whirlwind of worry. "Don't start thinking too much about it. I promise I don't think you're lying, not at all."

Your eyes meet his own for several long seconds. Even through the tint of his glasses, you can't help but feel comforted by the soft blue-green of the man's eyes, mirroring a perfectly clear sky and filled with an assurance so strong you couldn't help but feel calmed at least a little.

"...I miss it," the words gently mumble past your lips. "All of it. Earth."

"There's nothing wrong for someone to miss home," he whispers in return, soft tone nearly lost in the wind blowing through the gorge and whistling its lonely reminders. "And I'll do everything I can to make sure you go back to it, okay?"

Your face bounces with a nod after a few seconds, temporarily comforted from the anxiety biting at the edges of fragile thoughts.

"Please," you say, gentle and firm, "Don't make promises you can't keep."

Vash is silent for a moment. At first you think he's going to say nothing and merely change the subject or hurry the two of you to keep moving before the day turns too hot—but instead, the grip of his hands on your shoulders grow tight and hard, just short of uncomfortable.

"Don't worry." The words are simple, and there's a smile on his face. "I won't."

It's a painful, honest smile.

[talkintrashcann]

Campout - Xavier Thorpe [pt. 2]

summary: the friendgroup is going on a camping trip and miscalculated how many tents they needed, so now you have to share a tent with your least favorite person.

warnings: slow burn, enemies to lovers, multiple parts

word count: 1.4k

a/n: everyone has really been demanding part two so here it is, might not be what everyone wants but i promise i got a lot more stuff up my sleeve for the next couple parts

[part 1] [part 3] [part 4] . . .

——————

As soon as the sun started to appear from behind the horizon the sunshine of the group was wide awake and ready for another day, playing loud music to wake everyone else up. She opened all the tents and peaked inside to see if anyone was still asleep, singing along with the songs that were playing at the top of her lungs. You let out a loud groan as you heard her pulling at the zipper of your tent, Enid looking at you with a wide grin as she saw how you and Xavier were laying as far away from each other as possible.

"Time to wake up lovebirds, we're on a tight schedule so we have absolutely no time to waste."

She wasn't joking when she said you were on a tight schedule today, during breakfast that day she explained her very detailed planning of the next couple of days. This was really starting to feel a little bit like a bootcamp, today already having a very tiring activity waiting for the group. Hiking. You didn't mind it actually, you quite enjoyed walking through the woods up a mountain. But with these extreme temperatures it sure was going to be a bit more challenging than you preferred. What kept you motivated was the very promising view that would make up for it, according to Enid at least.

"Keep it moving guys ! We're almost there.", the girl with an endless amount of energy yelled out. She was hopping up and down, clearly excited to reach our destination.

"She's been saying that for the past hour or so, I don't understand how she isn't exhausted like the rest of us. Does she ever get tired?", the boy with the beanie on replied while wiping the sweat off his forehead. He must be dying with that thing on his head, you thought to yourself.

You were too busy with your thoughts that you weren't paying attention to where you were going, accidentally stepping on an unstable rock and twisting your ankle. Just as you were about to hit the ground, the person behind you wrapped their arm around your waist to keep you from falling.

"Are you okay?", the all too familiar voice said in a surprisingly worried tone. Finally looking up to meet the eyes that match to that voice, your eyes locking with Xavier's. It felt like things were going in slowmotion for a minute. No one said anything and everyone was standing still to look at you, waiting for you to answer his question. Once you both realized how close you were standing to each other you quickly pushed the other away with disgust, looking the opposite direction.

"Im fine, I didn't need your help."

"Most people would say thank you but whatever, should've just let you fall down the mountain."

"Why didn't you, huh? How come you suddenly care about me falling down a mountain or not? Wouldn't you love seeing that happen, knowing it would hurt so much."

"Where's the fun in seeing you suffer if I'm not the one that caused it?"

You rolled your eyes at his comment, slightly limping as you continue the incredibly long climb. All you wanted was for this suffocating tension to go away and finally see the pretty view that was promised to you hours ago. For the rest of the climb, it was uncomfortably silent. No one dared to say a word after your little encounter with Xavier, everyone wanted this to go over quickly. Their prayers were answered once they reached the promised destination, and the view was absolutely breathtaking.

You could see the lake near your campsite from up here, the tall trees completely surrounding it. The reflection of the sunlight on certain spots made the lake appear to have multiple shades of green, some lighter and some darker shades. As you were admiring the sight, you could hear a camera flashing right next to you. Looking to see who made the sound, the smile that was plastered on your face a few seconds ago immediately disappeared. Xavier was taking pictures of his surrounding to use for his paintings later. He had visions sometimes but he wanted to remember every detail about momens like these, at least that's what he said on his way here. Although he was planning on using them to paint back home, he also used it as an excuse to take pictures of his friends too so he can remember the fun times they had here.

"Time for a picnic!", Enid snapped everyone out of their trance by opening up a picnic blanket and placing it on the ground. Eventually the blanket was getting covered with some of the food and drinks you had prepared in the morning, the group enjoying their sandwiches in complete silence. The only thing you could hear was the sound of a river somewhere near you and the birds singing up in the trees, it definitely helped calming you down after your little encounter with Xavier. He had also found something to get his mind off your discussion earlier, being focused on taking pictures of his friends while they were chatting with each other.

As he's looking through the lens of his camera, he finds himself taking a picture of you. Once he realizes what he just did he shook his head and put the camera away, convincing himself he only took that photo because he thought the background was beautiful. He'd never admit how pretty you actually were, but no matter how many times he would call you ugly to your face or behind your back it always felt wrong. Many people found you good-looking, he was the only one to disagree. But the question is, why was he so eager to deny that?

After finishing up your little picnic and making your way down to camp again, everyone was knocked out in their tents by now. They needed to recuperate for a while because of the very exhausted activity they just got back from. You on the other hand were resting in one of the hammocks while making a bracelet, not wanting to share your tent with mister douchebag during the day as well. But while you were focused on the strings in your hands, you didn't notice someone sneaking up behind you. Soon enough you were aware of their presence as you felt a a stream of cold water being squirted on the side of your head, causing you the squeak at the sensation You could already tell who it was without having to look behind you, his annoying laughter confirming the speculation. You snapped your head back to look at the culprit, seeing him stand there with a watergun in his hands and the biggest smug face you've ever seen. Getting up from your spot and picking up one of the pillows from the hammock, you aimed it at his face but unfortunately he was able to dodge it.

"You really gotta stop hitting me with pillows, you know they don't hurt right?", he chuckled while squirting a little water at you again. You knew he was testing your patience right now, but you have had it with him.

"Fine, I'll just use my fists then."

Before he could properly process what you just said you stormed towards him and tackled him down, his head hitting the hard ground. He let out a laugh when you positioned yourself on top of his chest, finding it amusing that you thought you could hold him down. You were about to punch him in his face, but right before you were gonna smack him he gripped your small fist in his large hand to stop you from doing so. His smug face returning while he flipped you over, holding both of your hands above your head with one of his hands.

"Not gonna lie, you didn't look that bad on top of me.", Xavier chuckled when he saw your angry expression. But that annoying smile he had on soon disappeared as you kicked him in the nuts with your knee, resulting in him letting go of your hands and instead going down to his precious manhood.

"DO I SERIOUSLY HAVE TO PUT BOTH OF YOU IN TIMEOUT RIGHT NOW?! What is this, fucking summer camp with a bunch of annoying 10 year olds?", Enid had to yell out once again. You shoved him off you and got up on your two feet again, walking back to your hammock as if nothing happened. She really was starting to regret bringing the two of you on this vacation, it was beginning to feel more like she was babysitting you instead of a nice relaxing outing with her friends. Luckily that would soon all change when the neverending war between you and Xavier might finally come to an end. Or will it stay like this forever?

To be continued . . .

——————

Taglist !¡ @wintrr13 @hayleematyas16 @deepblueoceanwaters @purexfuego @loriasposts

if you would like to be added to the taglist for campout please let me know in the comments or through asks/dms!

[krokonoko]

I broadly agree with that phrenology post you reblogged (caveat: conservatism and fascism make you look evil. It's not Looks Determine Morality, it's the other wsy around, Morality Determines Looks. This checks out)

My point though was this: WHERE have you seen, in 2024 on Tumblr, a "kill all men tee hee" post. Where? I'm a drama hound, I love going into places where insane dipshits are and reading their fucking demented takes, and I haven't seen that stuff on here in 10 years. Please I beg you, I need to know. I'm so hungry. My family is starving. Think of my children

okay so this seems a teensy bit bait-y, but I'm still gonna engage you in good faith and hope you extend me the same grace, anon.

the specific wording I used in my tag is p frequently thrown around by radblr, and on twitter on every second profile that follows me, esp my art blog. it also comes in flavors of "men ruin everything", "men are trash", "all men think about is porn", etc.

on tumblr outside of radblr, you see similar sentiments, but worded not quite as harshly. you will have "men dni", "men have nothing worthwhile to say", "men will never know what it's like to be a teenager and sexually harassed", "I'm sorry for being into men", or "there are endless amounts of beautiful women and like maybe two decent looking men". you have "no man could ever come up with lyrics as deep and emotional as Hozier's". there's the complete misuse of the term "male gaze" as meaning "a man looking at a woman and finding her attractive, which is the same as harassment", and ofc, "ppl who believe trans men face oppression are mras/transmisogynists/whatever fun insult you can come up with."

but ultimately, it all comes down to the same thing, and that's the antimasculinity typical for radical feminist ideology. ppl often hear the term radical feminist and think "yeah, couldn't be me, I'm not a TERF." but the terms aren't interchangeable. they're just different steps in the same fascist pipeline. and statements like "men just never have anything worthwhile to say" are dogwhistles that inform us someone is on that TERF pipeline.

the real life effects of this antimasculinity is being felt by poc and marginalized men everywhere, and you can see accounts of it all over tumblr: from posts about how nb ppl with beards aren't allowed in certain nb spaces, to trans masc ppl talking about always having to either resign their trans-ness or their masc-ness to be allowed access to safe spaces, because they are told their masculinity makes those around them feel unsafe. and don't even get me started on the ppl who will just assign women, often woc, male gender because they don't fit a white beauty standard and then wail on them. marginalized men have tried raising awareness about the bad side effects of antimasculinity for a while now, but it has either fallen on deaf ears, or they have actively been shouted down.

the problem with dog whistles is that you only hear them when you're listening.

[alpaca-clouds]

Solarpunk by the sea

Let me continue this little series on Solarpunk in different kinds of biomes and let me talk about the one biome that probably has the most people living by it: The ocean.

The ocean is a weird thing for us. While we cannot survive in it, we thrive if we have it close by. We cannot consume the salt water, of course, but we were always drawn to the ocean and fish, of course, have for many civilization been one of the biggest sources of food. Most people on this planet currently live somewhat close to a coastline of some sort.

While civilization might have started in those dank river valleys, many of the big civilization at some point needed access to the ocean. For the fish, but also to further advance. As the ocean allowed to move a lot of stuff rather quickly.

But... currently we are not doing well with the ocean, do we? There is a reason the whales are rebelling and shit.

We are currently overfishing the ocean, with the garbage from industrial fishing (like fishing nets) being a large part of the macroplastic in the oceans.

Meanwhile, the ocean like everything else, is also filled with microplastics - a bit part of which come from wheel abrasions from cars and the like.

And, of course, with the ocean warming, it can no longer hold oxygen and basically fishes die of in mass.

So, let's talk about it. How do we live with the ocean? How do humans best thrive near the ocean? And how do we protect this biome?

First of all: Industrial fishing has to go. People catching their own fish are fine. Even like Joe and his family catching fish for their little local fishmonger is fine. But industrial fishing that catches fish for this big international company that makes sure that everyone - no matter how far away from the coast they are living - has fish in their freezer... Yeah, we cannot have that. Not only because we overfish certain species of fish and endanger the whales, but also because through this we completely mess with food chains and eco systems, because - for example - the fish shitting is actually kinda important for the ocean.

So, yeah. No big fishing. If you live not close by an ocean, you will not get any ocean fish. Sorry.

Now, people living close to the ocean obviously face one big challenge: The ocean will often bring some sort of storm in relatively regular intervals. I will not go into the reasons of this (if you wanna see me geek out over meteorology, just say - I can do that). But of course everyone knows about all those Hurricanes that will strike the coastlines every year.

Different human cultures have adjusted differently to this. Basically there are two ways to go about it: Either you just accept that your house will be destroyed and build it in a way, that it will be easy to rebuild... Or you try to build a house that will wistand most storms with only minor damage.

This could be done by using sturdy materials - or by doing the other thing: Put your house on stilts. Which can be surprisingly effective, which is why we see it around the world.

Ideally you will not build the houses directly at the edge of the water. While it is fancy, duh, it also removes the saving land between you and the ocean.

Which also brings me to the sponge biomes, that often get ignored too often. Modern civilization often has destroyed those sponge areas, that usually would help take the swell of a storm surge. Those areas need to be recultured. Both to save them as biomes, as well as helping keeping us save from the floods.

When it comes to energy and renewables... Well, great news. The coastlines give us an endless amount of possibilities. Off-shore wind turbines work great. We probably will have soon enough proper tidal turbines, too. Maybe we will even figure out wave energy. And yes, you can put up photovoltaic panels.

Humans fear the ocean. Humans cannot survive in the ocean. But at the same time, we love the ocean and it has helped us to survive for so long.

[alexiavettel]

chapter four

"The world was whole then, the sun and the moon together as one"

pairing: charles leclerc x fem¡stroll!reader

word count: 2.3k+

warnings: explicit language, mentions of sex, a bit of car stuff cause i have any self control, asshole!charles, almost panic attack and sensible leclerc.

disclaimer: any photo used is not supposed to represent the reader, all all Pinterest pics that matches the context

<<< previous part

February 23th, 2022

Spain, Barcelona- pre-season testing

“Are you excited for the press conference? At least you’re with Lewis, George and Seb” Liv asked grinning.

“For the only questions be about if I’m fucking Leclerc or not?”

“Well, are you?”

“LIV??? Have you gone mad? What the fuck girl?”

“Sorry darling but maybe a hate fuck would help with all the endless bickering-"

“I would never!”

“Gotta quote the biggest singer of all time ‘never say never’” she didn’t really sang this in the middle of the paddock, right?

“Have you just- Justin Bieber really?”

“Why not?”

“But why?”

•

“This question is for all of you, after having experienced the new car how do you think it will perform this season? Best or worse than the W12 and AMR21? Respectively” an older woman asks us

“If you say it’s better than the W12 I give up my seat” I cracked a joke before Lewis could speak and the room erupted in a chorus of laughter

“Well, like our dear Y/n mentioned it would be hard to overcome the W12 so in some aspects the W13 is a bit worse but all of us are putting plenty of effort into it”

“Yes, and that maybe means not a so good start of season for us but we are going to give our best and try to set the car in the way we need and want” just by hearing George speaking the British in me threatens to take place.

“But we sure will find a- not easy- but fast way to the top! Overall is a good car after analysing the data, we are glad of the recent results but we are looking forward to new updates during the year indeed”

“Thank you, boys. And what about the AMR22?”

“The green is great!” and that ladies and gentlemen was Sebastian Vettel

“Seb!” I laughed because my brother said EXACTLY the same thing after the car launch

“But it’s impossible to predict where we will be, at this stage. But surely, we're on the climb, so we want to be better than last year. Last year, we had our difficulties and I think for many reasons we should be better off this year.”

“Someone here got along better with the car than this old man but certainly the excitement is very high, and the potential as well that the team is gathering, the momentum to pick up during the season and improve the car throughout the season, I think, our potential is just rising. I can't wait to get on track, see where we are, and get going.”

“We are very optimistic but at the same time, there are so many new things, with new tyres, completely new cars, lots of new challenges. I hope the field will be closer together, that will give us more chances to race and race more at the front than we did last year. But realistically, the answer at the moment is we don't know and we have to be a little bit more patient to give you a proper good answer”

“We indeed have big potential to be championship contenders in the future, as our team has already mentioned in the car launch we are in year two of our five-year plan to grow more. If we are talking about data we got better results but we don’t know compared to the rest of the field. All we can do is hope and keep pushing.”

“Oi, that’s my line!” Lewis scolded me

“Now about the bachelors of this press, or should I say only one bachelor now? There are rumours about you Stroll, being in a relationship with Leclerc can you confirm?” I knew this question was about to come but I still can feel an uncomfortable amount of eyes burning me, including my fellow drivers.

“The internet is assuming this only because of a jet ski ride? Well the only thing I can confirm at the moment is that we are close friends who were enjoying our last free days together with other friends”

“In the moment? Sus for me”

“Shut up George or did you forget I can steal your girl?” this bitch “Love you, Carmen!” I searched the camera crew and said with an enamoured smile.

“Will you ever let this die?”

“Never” me and the two older drivers said together laughing at Russell’s disappointed face.

All this fuss about me and Carmen was because of a game of fuck, marry or kill in 2020

“Okay now what about Yn, Alonso and Albon” Danny asked in the middle of the group formed by me, Seb, Lewis, George and Carmen, Daniel, Alex and Lily, Lando and Lance.

“Ow can I fuck and marry Yn?” Carmen spilled out without thinking twice, as some of us die in laughter and the others were too stunned to speak (George was clearly the latter)

“I’m flattered girl, it’s about time” I joked while she seated in my lap laughing (drunk Carmen is something else)

“Can I join?” Lily asked fake pouting while Alex and George went whining.

“Babe I’m literally in the game?” Alex almost cried.

“I’m not even able to say anything”

“The boy just got flabbergasted” Lewis chimed in making fun of his new teammate.

“Oh god give the poor boy a minute” Seb said struggling to keep his laugh.

So if one of us dares to tell this to the public we might get killed by a 1.85 brit who tends to persuade people with powerpoints.

“But no I’m not in a relationship at the moment and not with the Ferrari’s golden boy” I tried to say in a sweet tone but Seb noticed the hidden bitterness.

•

Charles Leclerc POV:

“So Charles please tell us, rumours had surfaced about you being in a relationship with your former teammate, Y/n Stroll. What do you have to say about it?”

“No comments” for real? That’s the first question I get?

“Well, given your last relationship these rumours are alarming right?” He's trying to piss me off? “Especially considering Stroll is a driver as well and has an enviable reputation so that could cause problems on the track, right?”

“I think that you could just stop snooping around my private life and focus on track” I couldn't hold myself, when I looked over to Mia Djacic (best known as my dear press officer) I felt her piercing eyes burning me. Yep Charles, prepare yourself for the lecture.

•

“You know that in Bahrain you will be in a serious relationship with Stroll right?! You can’t pull things like that, oh my God Charles you just give me problems!-” Mia started her lecture the moment she closed the door of my driver’s room.

“Then quit- Sorry I didn't mean that” why do you keep doing that?

“Oh, you meant it. Otherwise, you wouldn't have said. I've been with you since Alfa Romeo, don’t bullshit me now Charles! You need to learn how to control yourself, man!”

“But you saw what he said, I am tired of these people thinking they know everything about me!”

“Stop screaming, Charl” it’s so infuriating that I keep losing control over this shit, I just don’t know what to do is natural.

“I’m sorry… They just make me so fucking mad, that it’s impossible to hold myself. And you can believe I gained 300K new followers on Instagram after that pic of me and Y/n? They speak about her like she’s some type of angel! Like she’s perfect and better than me but look who is in Ferrari? She doesn’t even has a fucking win yet!”

“Are you mad because the questions were about your private life or because they put in a way like Y/n is better than you?”

“I don’t know? I just hate all this and-”

“The FIA’s director spoke with Binotto about you.”

“WHAT?”

“About your ‘unjustifiable and rude attitudes’ lately, they threatened to give you a penalty”

“Grid penalties? That isn’t fair! I-”

“Not grid penalties but to all the team, because apparently Ferrari can’t control a driver” I can’t believe what I’m hearing…

“They can actually do this?...” I asked and the blonde in front of me just shrugged with a lopsided smile in answer “I’m sorry Mia, but can you leave now? I need some time alone”

“Sure, Charl. But remember what I told you in Monaco last year, being a driver is not just about driving. And Y/n will be waiting for you in 25 minutes in the parking lot by the way”

Oh awesome!

•

“Are your eyes red?” that’s not possible, I checked myself in the mirror before going out.

“Are you worried about me, darling?” I tried to joke but she touched my arm making me turn to her.

“Don’t play with me, Leclerc. What happened? Are your family okay?”

“I ain’t playing. And yeah, everyone is fine”

“So what is it? Why were you crying?” She holds me tighter.

“It’s nothing, for God’s sake Y/n” I managed to make her let go of my arm. I don’t know why she is doing this…

“Charles, can't you grow up? You are clearly fucked up and I wanna know why so I can maybe help you”

“Are you high? You trying to help me?”

“If you try and think a bit more than your little brain normally can, you gonna figure out that if we are actually doing this dating thing we have to act like adults and try to be better for each other”

“Okay I get it, but it’s nothing really” can’t believe but she’s kinda right

“It’s about the press, isn’t it?” she got to hold my arm again.

“Why do you think this?”

“Because you probably got scolded by every pr soul in your team? Or because you have a mouth bigger than your control?”

“Ow shut up!”

“So I got it, huh? What type of trouble did you get yourself into this time? Please tell me I won’t have to kiss you in front of everyone to get your bare reputation back!”

“Ew, but yeah the shit hit the fan and if I continue with mine ‘unjustifiable and rude attitudes’ the entire team are going to get in trouble with FIA. Oh God, I don’t even know why I am telling you that!”

“Oh I got you”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re bringing a bad image not only for Ferrari but to all Formula One. This happened to me once, they threatened to give a strike”

“Why? Aren’t you their little miss perfect?”

“Because I tried to set a stand in Saudi Arabia last year for women who were banned from driving until 2018 and for women's rights in general”

“But Hamilton and-”

“Yep FIA allowed me to make the stand only after the boys proposed, Lew and Seb supported me since F2 so when I told them about it cause I was scared and they threatened FIA back saying they would quit” she said laughing.

“Not surprising coming from FIA…”

“Exactly but don’t get me wrong boy, you really need to work on your reputation. You might even lose your seat, and we both know how hard you fought for it. Don’t waste it by being hot-headed, come on man you’re in Ferrari! You want to be a driver for Ferrari since, what? Since you were 7? You can’t waste it!”

When I started shaking she noticed mid-sentence and hugged me tight, she said exactly what my dad say in that letter…

“I don’t know what’s happening right now, Y/n. Sometimes looks like everything is going down! Somehow I’m always in the middle of something, and people say like I am the one to blame. I know I am wrong for being so fucking easy to be pissed off but they don’t know shit about me and they keep painting me as a villain” I pulled away from her to look into her eyes “I hate to lose control, Y/n! And I don’t know what to do, I never do!”

“We might not like each other, Leclerc. But we fought too much, too many fucking years tolerating shit from everyone to finally make it to F1. And look where we fucking are now! If you don’t know what to do for you, do it for your younger self, who always dreamed about beating me in F1! You just need to wait a little more until I get a real competitive car so I can properly beat your ass. So start thinking more before speaking or acting, hold your anger to the track. Just try to not break my arm again in the process…”

Her eyes are different while she is talking to me like this. A different kind of glint, a gentle way (which is extremely weird since I am never the receiving end of this type of glances). She smiles like she knows everything but not in an annoying way, but like she knows what is happening and is sure everything is going to be alright, it’s kinda comfortable. I ask myself if that is what the public see, only this part of her. Have to admit, it’s kinda mesmerising.

“And I know this is not the best moment to say this but tomorrow we have to come together in the paddock” she said in one breath with a cheshire grin “in my car by the way”

“S-Sure”

“Sure? Oh god you must’ve been really fucked up to agree with me this easy. I got to go, okay? Drive safe, bye Charles” she enters her dark green car and away she goes without one more word.

If I am being honest, I don’t have any fucking idea what just happened. It's like I was talking with a complete different person, a caring and thoughtful old friend. But she’s her. End of it. I don’t know how she knows that I wanted to be a Ferrari driver since I was 7, or what words she could use to actually push me through this shit and not get me anymore mad. But she knew.

@laura-naruto-fan1998 hope you enjoyed <3

my taglist!!

[coinfight]

finally looked at the feedback and I appreciate all of them!! I'll comment my thought process on the common complaints publicly before talking with the current other mod

the +2 for non-gender was added with me thinking it will encourage people to coin stuff other than genders, which there is already a near endless amount of in the community, but it seems it was taken advantage of, unfortunately. Im planning to either only make it +1, make it so vague terms fall under 'gender' in this case (such as, a term related to x, rather than a y term related to x), or remove this system altogether.

the revenge mechanic was introduced mostly with me thinking people will be encouraged to attack more knowing they'll be likely to get something back as revenge, but I didnt anticipate it getting this out of hand to the point people were getting 20 points with 1 attack :'3. the revenge chain seems to be confusing for some anyway. this system worked better on art fight, where the points were counted automatically, and art that took more time got more points so it felt more balanced. Im planning the either cap it somewhere (maybe only 1 revenge gets counted ever and gets +2?), or remove it altogether

we most definitely both need more mods and better communication, this was a problem not once, but twice during the event. I can excuse this for now because we were mostly in a rush to get things ready and I did not get to flesh out the rules to the other mod before it started, but I do not want this to be a continued issue for next year.

the rush to start to event also caused for a lack of preparations and promotions for the event, so we let people join within the week the event was going on to make up for it. this eventually gave one team an unfair advantage. this will not be occurring next year, hopefully, as the team picking will be done a week prior and the reblogs will be locked once the 2nd day of the event comes around.

Ive seen a few comment about how there being a lack of prizes means a lack of insentive to participate, which I understand completely, but I cannot give a voucher to everyone in one team, that would take a lot out of me when the event already did so anyway, but we may work on graphics for the winners! just a lil trophy for them to share their pride through.

there not being a set time zone seems to have been an issue, especially at the end of the event. for next year Im going to try to base the beginning and end of the event through the central time zone, with daily submission limits still being through the participant's own time zone.

all of these worked fine for last year, because it was a small event meant to celebrate a milestone I got with something a little different than the usual 'coining event'. it was between internet friends, and so the air was a lot less competitive. this is no longer the case as coinfight grew twice as big since then, with a wider range of participants, both familiar and unfamiliar to me. I am grateful for this, however that means it is also harder to keep track of, and rely on participant integrity.

one thing I do NOT remember last year having is a 3 submissions per day rule, I cant tell if I just forgot I had that rule up or the other mod decided it would be appropriate, which it was! we could hardly keep up with 3 submissions per day by every participant, and I even gave up a little by the end. I do not think we will be changing this, except the ability to make up for lost days. this would, however, add another thing for us to keep track of.

I will forward all your complaints to the other mod (bc I used a personal email to make the survey like a dummy) and hear what she has to say.

do not be sad that you've upset us or anything, you havent! we asked for feedback for a reason, and will be using it to make next year better than ever!

with love to the entire mogai community, -🫀

[thesternest]

ok so since @jennifer-hamilton-wb said she would like that explanation of Immaculacy I might regret making this since explaining Immaculacy requires at least mentioning other stuff ok so all magic in the universe I'm creating (still needs a name) draws from one of two sources: Lifespan and Immaculacy Lifespan is the force that fuels souls, everyone is granted a specific amount when they are born and that amount goes down and down until its nothing and they are dead of old age, However if for various reasons somebody were to die before all their lifespan depleted their soul would dissolve allowing the lifespan to escape, this would not be noticeable at first or at least it wouldn't be noticeable in the Landscape (the physical realm might delve into it in a different post) however in the Labyrinth you could see that lifespan and it would take form differently depending on the planet.

for various reasons it creates a lot of problems if too much lifespan accumulated in one spot. So Soulbinders were created Soulbinders are living creatures (always sapient but not always human) that are born with the ability to absorb the souls of others and manipulate their own souls.

after their soul has enough lifespan their soul gets a sort of gravitational pull allowing them to eat souls over a distance, That is a Soulbinders first step to descending to godhood.

Once a Soulbinder has Absorbed a lifespan roughly equivalent to a planet they will be transformed into a formless being known as an Aspect. Aspect are one of the closest things in this universe to gods

every Aspect represents one trait and will start out with their original personality but will eventually be consumed by the trait they represent A list of known Aspects contains(i might have forgotten some though): Repose Manipulation Progression Grace Strife Prominence Ignorance Determination Composure

they can give their godhood to somebody else but they cannot preserve their own life in that process.

Now that we got to Aspects we can get to the second and more common and versatile source for magic.

Immaculacy Aspects like every creature need Lifespan to live, they are essentially endless containers of the stuff, usually residing on a planet and feeding on all who die prematurely in it.

it is possible that one of the reasons a lot of the Planets they tend to live in have high death rates in some form such as war or disease is the Aspects intentionally cause more death to live longer When Lifespan is absorbed by an Aspect it turns into a type of Immaculacy that is Unique to that Apect. Every Immaculacy has two forms, a true form and a stale form Every Aspect is associated with two colors that their Immaculacy tends to take in physical presence For instance, the Stale form of Manipulation's Immaculacy is black crystals. While its true form is golden ribbons

Now it's important to say that a trait that is shared across almost all Immaculacy types is that it does not like being stored in one big place for a long time. no matter what Immaculacy will eventually leak from any container. the more immaculacy contained the faster it will leak.

That includes Aspects which means that Aspects aren't really capable of not developing magic systems in the worlds they reside in.

In callbringers when Ashelyn draws energy into her forged Arm she is essentially just drawing Immaculacy from the Aspect of Manipulation and storing it in her copper hand. and when she wants to release that Immaculacy the copper hand transforms it into fire.

Magic systems that use Lifespan tend to be a lot more limited and complex so I won't delve into it now (I haven't figured them out completely)

Different types of Immaculacy have different effects in the natural forms in general. and the True and Stale forms have different abilities too Manipulation's immaculacy is highly dangerous to people in its true form via its mind control abilities but in its stale form it Conducts Immaculacy

While Strife's Stale Immaculacy Absorbs Lifespan to create life from its own form Determination's Stale Immaculacy Absorbs souls whole and does some complicated stuff with them

[standardizedbogey]

glimpses of the past prompts:

critical or blushed

Meme is here

“Did you ever date?”

Daichi faltered as he cracked open his drink. “You mean, like… before I came to Veilstone?”

“Yes,” Cyrus said, though he clearly didn't see a need to make it so limited.

“I did a little,” he said as he reshuffled his food and drink in his hands. “But I wasn't all that old when I left home so it was never more than kid stuff.”

Cyrus nodded absently as he worked the paper to properly cup his pirozhki. Daichi waited for the continuation that he felt should logically come next. When none came, he did it himself.

“Did you date?” Daichi asked, and at the look he added. “Back in Sunyshore.”

“I did,” Cyrus answered a touch stiffly. “Not by my choice. My parents were very insistent that I was to be paired up with someone… advantageous.”

“So they had money, then?”

“Everyone in my parent’s social circle did,” Cyrus told him, with a dull emphasis on its unimportance. “The woman I was sent with were chosen for their ties to useful businesses or politics. So of course I needed to create a proper impression, which I had thought would have involved proper knowledge and achievements. It's evidently all about social rituals and eye contact.” He said the last bit with particular disdain. “It was all utter nonsense.”

“Sounds like,” he said with a sympathetic nod. “Was the food at least good?”

“You wouldn’t believe how much technical skill it can take to make something completely insubstantial,” he scoffed. “I suppose it's fitting to match the inane conversations. I don't know why they chose women who couldn't understand anything substantive.”

Daichi took his time swallowing. “Did you at least offer definitions?”

“Of course,” he huffed insistently. “But I can only define so much before there isn't a point.”

“Yes, I suppose so,” Daichi agreed, even though he was sure he could see the scene now.

Some teenage girl, dressed to the nines and bound by equivalent amounts of familial pressure, picked at her dinner to distract herself. Cyrus’s eye contact would have been blisteringly intense, and his info dumping (because he would absolutely be info dumping) would have been filled with unrecognizable terms. All of it would have seemed as practiced as it was in an earnest attempt to do what his parents insisted was important. And, he was sure, there would rarely if ever be a second date.

Daichi certainly empathized with the plight of these girls, but just as sincerely said, “It sounds like it was awful for you” to Cyrus.

“It was,” he agreed. “I’m very thankful to be here doing things like this rather than dating.”

Daichi nearly choked on his food. 

They'd been sharing a bed for about six months at that point. And, over that time, it’d become increasingly clear how many gaps Cyrus’s upbringing had left in his knowledge. Whether by a lack of necessity due to his wealth, or increased mandate because of it, he'd had to learn so much of what most adults already knew.

Daichi had long gotten used to the endless discovery process. But, it seemed, he could still be blindsided.

“Cyrus?”

“What?”

“This is a date.”

Cyrus looked at Daichi as if he’d grown a second head. “We’re eating street food.”

“Mhm.”

“In casual clothing.”

“Yeah. And we’re walking to a movie instead of getting a limo or whatever.” He shrugged. “None of that stuff is necessary for something to be a date.”

Cyrus seemed ready to debate, but then took a thoughtful bite of his pirozhki instead. 

“So a date,” he said finally, “Is simply going to a location with purpose.”

“And that purpose is to spend time with your partner, yeah,” he agreed. “You don't need anything else specific.”

“Hm…” he thought on it a bit more. “It still seems like a waste to create so many rituals and labels for something that has so few particulars attached to it.” He peeled down the paper to have more room to eat. “Especially if it is basically the same process as going someplace with any other relation.”

“I suppose it is,” Daichi agreed. “But I enjoy doing this with you, whatever you want to call it. So how do you feel about doing things like this more often?”

“I…” Cyrus wasn't the sort to blush, but he did sink into himself a bit when flustered. “I suppose I’m not opposed to it if this is really what you're expecting.”

“I'm glad,” Daichi agreed.

He smiled in his particularly small way. “Good. Then it's settled.”

“It is. And, for the record.” Daichi nudged his arm affectionately. “I love hearing how you explain things.”

Cyrus paused a bit over being told something he knew but very much liked hearing. “Well… Perhaps you'd like me to explain the new philosophy I'm working on.”

“Always.”

[evolutionsvoid]

It truly feels that there is no limit to Slimes sometimes, you know? With how adaptable they are and how their pseudobodies seem to take on any shape or property they wish, it makes you wonder why the rest of the world ever evolved all these extra bits? Why do I have all these complicated parts and pieces when I could just be malleable goo with a single heart? It sure would make navigating rough terrain easier! Could just stretch my limbs or slither up trees with ease! And how about spying on the wildlife? I could just jam myself into the nearest burrow or tree cavity and do my observations completely undetected! And Slimes can pretty much eat anything too! No worries about what supplies to pack or how I am going to carry enough food for an expedition! The possibilities are endless! But I can't be losing myself to these fantasies, as such a thing probably isn't all that cracked up to be, and I do like being a dryad. But you cannot deny the sheer potential a single Slime can have! With the right materials, they can become something quite powerful, like the Metal Slimes!

The Metal Slimes are a type of Slime that can be found in arid regions, either rocky or sandy it doesn't really matter. What matters is that there is access to plenty of metals, which should be pretty obvious. Some folk tend to get the impression that Metal Slimes eat ores and irons, but that isn't really true. They do pull chunks of metal into their pseudobodies, but it isn't for nutrition. Instead, Metal Slimes use rocks and other ores within to slowly shave away at these consumed metals, reducing them to powder. These metallic dusts are incorporated into their slime, which allow them to create this iron hard exterior. That is another myth of these Slimes, that they are essentially liquid metal. Nope, they just use a large amount of metal powder in their outer layers of slime to create the effect. If they condense their outer slime, then the metal gets packed together and creates thickened armor, or it can be used to form sharpened points and spikes! To get this metallic coating, they need a whole lot of metal powders. Not to mention that their pseudobody and digestive process inevitably starts breaking some of them down, so they need to replenish by "eating" ores. When it comes to actual food, they will eat anything organic, just like any other Slime. That is the stuff that has nutrition!

Metal Slimes are easy to identify by their metallic sheen, dark colored pseudobodies and their rather compact form. Since they contain so much metal in their slime, they are actually pretty heavy. Without proper support, any long tendrils or tall forms would collapse under the weight, so they prefer to keep it small and bulky. Metal Slimes tend to look like spiky lumps, with very short limbs or tendrils if they even have any. They like to form spikes on their outsides, which can extend out like a spear when dealing with predators or prey. When they hunt, they tend to slither up to prey and launch forth a single spike to skewer them, then dragging the impaled critter into their pseudobodies for digestion. If attacked by predators, they harden their exterior to that of armor and will point their spikes toward the threat. It is an incredibly display, where every iron blade on their body moves in unison to keep themselves aimed at the attacker! Good luck getting past that! However, their defenses aren't flawless. Metal Slimes are still living creatures, and thus they need to breath. Slimes can only get air from portions of their body that is loose and moist, as compacted slime cannot absorb air properly. Thus all this thick armor can actually suffocate them, but Metal Slimes don't keep every inch of their body this hard. Rather, they tend to have their undersides still soft and breathable, which is good for respiration but bad for defense. If you can get under them, then there is a weak spot. Sure, they can harden that spot too and become a ball of thick spiny armor, but they will be asphyxiating themselves while they do it. Eventually they will have to soften up, and then the attacker can strike!

It should be noted that there has been discussion on how Metal Slimes came to be. The obvious answer may be that they just figured it out themselves, but some folk think different. After coming to the conclusion that Fire Slimes gained the knowledge to create their flammable form from phoenixes, there has always been the wonder if other Slime varieties have copied their traits as well. It doesn't seem like they all have, but Metal Slimes actually have an interesting candidate. They tend to be found in metal rich regions, which is also where Pulgasari (or Bulgasari, depending on who you ask) dwell! These metal eating mammals certainly have the armor and weaponry to match, so perhaps Metal Slimes took inspiration here? It is hard to say, as the only real way to know is to ask a Metal Slime, but they aren't chatty or friendly for that matter. Getting close to them is just begging for an iron spike through the brain. 

The existence of Metal Slimes has fascinated many people, who dream of all the things one can do with living fluid metal. I have certainly heard talk of folk trying to use them as weapons or living armor, or perhaps fusing a bunch into an iron giant of a Slimera. It should be noted that most people thinking or writing of these ideas tend to be folk who have never interacted with a Metal Slime. Yes, it sounds cool for a liquid metal blob to rapidly morph and shift into many blade forms, slicing foes to ribbons. But in truth, they are very slow and tend to stick with a single deadly strike. And like I said, they aren't friendly. These Slimes have taken this form because they live in a hostile environment, so thus they are ready to read everything as a threat. I can't even imagine what would happen to the poor soul who slops a couple of Metal Slimes onto their body in the hopes of living armor. Probably wind up looking like someone who was thrown into an iron maiden. People who actually live around Metal Slimes or interact with them aren't huge fans. Like I said, quite hostile and they also "consume" precious ores, so any mining company absolutely despises them. Finding Metal Slimes means you are in the right area for lucrative mining, but that also means they will be swarming your tunnels in no time to feed on the ore veins, and will be impaling your workers while they do it. 

Some folk wonder if Metal Slimes will attack people if they are wearing metal, as perhaps they would want to "eat" it. As far as I can tell, they do not. They find plenty in their environment and they don't ever seem to actually target or hunt humans. So Metal Slimes don't eat armor? Well, uh, you see, it's not regular Metal Slimes to be exact, but....well....stick around for another entry of mine. We will talk about that subject more there. Best to keep this entry shorter and less....nightmarish...  

Chlora Myron

Dryad Natural Historian

---------------------------------------------------------

"Metal Slimes"

Hey there! I am back, and hittin' ya with a new kind of Slime!