#i have deemed that any kind of body shaming is extremely bad

[hello-nichya-here]

So I've asked you this in private, but I thought the rest of your followers should see this as your thoughts are quite entertaining.

What is your opinion on the idea of stuff like this being the only acceptable method of pornography?

*cracks knuckles* Let's get the easiest part out of the way first.

Saying Something Is "Female-Friendly" Is Just Marketing

I'm sorry (not really) to be the one to state the obvious, but at best labeling any kind of pornography as "female friendly" means "most of the people that enjoy this are women" - which is very different from saying "ALL women are into this" or "No guys are ever into this." It's the good old "this cartoon is for boys, that one is for girls."

It's not a radical statement, it's not revolutionary, and it is at best a morally neutral mention of a random statistic that is being used to find the best demography to advertise to and at worst just pointlessly trying to force people into boxes with that they are/are not allowed to enjoy based on their gender.

Don't believe me? Well, too bad because this image you're seeing is literally part of a facebook ad for a porn site. The name of the site and of the artist they were working with can be seen at the top in the uncut version. Like I said, it doesn't matter how "radical" these claims of "this product is made for/by X minority group" pretend to be, at the end of the day it's just marketing.

"Oh, but people obviously support the message it's sending anyway!" True... but that message is at best filled with poor word choices, and full on terrible at worst.

Consent - Important In Real Life, Meaningless In Fantasy

In the context of this being an ad for a porno site, I think it's safe to say "Consent-based" is just a way of assuring viewers that every actress was fully consenting to every sexual act and was not pressured into anything in any way, which is the bare minimum.

HOWEVER, I've seen plenty of people misunderstand or flat out lie about the "consent-based porn" term means. Like I explained, it is meant to be about the ACTORS consenting - but their "characters" don't need to consent to anything because they are not real. A hardcore CNC fantasy with the actress pretending she doesn't want the sex/is not enjoying it while her co-star pretends to force themselves on her is STILL consent-based if the actress playing the victim role can stop the scene for literally any reason and even walk out completely if that's what she wants.

Unfortunatelly, because kink-shaming is still very much a thing, people act like that is crossing a line and totally counts as legitimate assault - even in videos that the actors before AND after the scene mention how excited they are, how great it was, openly discuss their kinks, etc.

Nobody needs to watch something so extreme if they don't want to, but I have a serious problem with people saying stuff like that shouldn't ever happen. If the people involved in the role-play are doing it WILLINGLY and can back down at any moment, then it isn't in anyway immoral.

Sexual Attraction Is NOT The Same As Respect/Acceptance

Once again, I'm sorry (not really) to be the one who has to tell you guys this, but "representation" in porn is meaningless because:

1 - It doesn't matter how many porn videos there are of any minority group - each individual person picking something to watch will only click on the ones that show people with the body-types and genders they are attracted to, doing stuff they personally find appealing.

2 - "This kind of porn is popular" does not in anyway translate to "this is what society deems morally acceptable". A ton of homophobes LOVE lesbian porn. My country, Brazil, has always had porn with trans people and crossdressers as one of THE most popular trends - yet we are also the country that commits hate crimes against them the most, even when compared to places where being trans or crossdressing is literally a crime that earns you an authomatic death sentence. Incest porn has been obscenely popular everywhere for decades yet most people STILL find the thought of real-life incest absoutely repulsive.

3 - "I am not usually/ever attracted to people of group X" doesn't authomatically mean "I HATE people of group X." Just cause I like red-heads and brunettes, doesn't mean I'll be commiting hate crimes against blondes. If that was how things worked, sex-repulsed asexuals would hate literally all of humanity.

Wanting porn to be inclusive is utterly pointless because sexual attraction is 100% morally neutral. Which brings us to...

What Even Counts As "Objectification"?

Once again, if by "Don't objectify people" we are talking about how "Just because you hired this person to star in a porno, it doesn't mean you can just ignore their consent, comfort and safety for the sake of your fetish" then yeah, that's the bare minimum.

However, if you're saying "don't objectify people" as a way to say "Don't make the video too graphic/obscene/kinky" then we absolutely have a problem here because, my guy, it's porn. It is all about letting us see hot people looking slutty and fucking in great, explict detail.

"Oh, but these sexual acts are humiliating and gross!" To you, maybe. But not to the actors that are very willing to do it. I've had some of my fetishes be called both deeply disturbing and gross AND the most vanilla shit ever. That kind of stuff is 100% subjective, and the only people who can say "I felt disrespected/unsafe/abused" are the actors themselves. Once again, if THEY consented, there's nothing wrong with it regardless of it appealing to you or not.

"Oh, but we'd be wasting an opportunity to educate people/give X group more representation"

If I ever click on a porno and there's a two minute intro with the actors, both belonging to some minority group, talking about how one of them is also historian and the other is a astronomer, I will STILL only care about seeing them fuck even though I love both history and astronomy - not because I don't think they can't possibly know what they're talking about since they are sex workers or because of some kind of bigotry, but because, surprise surprise, I only check out porn sites for the porn. That's what EVERYONE does.

Hell, bad porn can be used to educate people. 50 Shades is awful and a ton of ignorant people think it is 100% accurate to how BDSM actually works. However, this has led to entire groups of people who are actually kinky to discuss REAL BDSM with vanilla people and educate them on how it can be a great thing. And, of course, there's people that enjoy those shitty novels/movies but KNOW they are not accurate representiation of BDSM because they are aware that PORN IS JUST FANTASY, NOT A GUIDE TO HOW SEX SHOULD WORK!

"But it's so shallow to focus only on these people's looks and know literally nothing else about them!"

Yes, and? Being "shallow" isn't always bad, and feeling attracted to someone solely for their looks is not a crime.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a goddamn fanfic writer and I was once the classic "teenager that totally thinks she'd have a chance with that famous rockstar that is old enough to be her dad", I KNOW that the thought of a real connection (emotional, intelectual, etc) CAN be hot - but there's nothing wrong with "These two people whose names I don't even know look hot, I wanna see them fuck, then I'll go take a nap and never think of them again." These porn stars are not crying themselves to sleep because people whose faces they've never even seen don't know anything about them other than how they look without clothes on.

"Female" Pleasure - Yet ANOTHER Hollow Marketing Term!

Seriously, that last one REALLY irritated me because it's one of those things that tries to sound progressive, but are meaningless at best and downright sexist at worst, because it implies:

1 - There must be a strict separation between "female" pleasure and "male" pleasure. A sexual act cannot possibly be enjoyable for both the guy and the girl, and gender prevents men and women from EVER being into the same thing (as a woman that finds more porn that fits my taste in "male-centered" sites than in most "porn for women" sites, this one gets on my nerves).

2 - Pleasuring one's partner cannot possibly be enjoyable - so, say, a girl cannot possibly enjoying giving her boyfriend head, and vice versa.

3 - Sex is a competition and women NEED to win because "female" pleasure is apparently more moral than "male" pleasure (hence the "ALL porn can and should be 'female' friendly")

4 - ALL women are turned on/turned off by the exact same sexual acts, and the level of pleasure they get is always exactly the same. Preferences are not individual and never change over time. (Seriously, a woman directs a sex scene between two actresses, the editor is a woman, and all the viewers are women - which one will speak for her entire gender and decide what "female" pleasure looks like? You see how silly this sounds?)

Conclusion

Sex and sexuality can never be over-simplified like that, and fantasies are just harmless fun.

[anlian-aishang]

As person who writes for levi, what do you think about the difference between mappa's levi and wit's levi?

HIIIIIIIIIIIIII BB **HUG** I LOVE YOUUUUU 💞Thanks so much for asking!! 

Okay okay my thoughts are kinda complicated on this and I’m still figuring out how I feel myself but allow me to share (aka ramble my inner thoughts):

So, like, I love Levi in any way shape or form! Like, seriously, just give me those bangs and those eyes and I am there for it lol.

I have been in love with WIT Levi since I was 14, so my love for him will never die! (No matter the studio!) 

Also, with his MAPPA debut last week and all the studio art I’ve seen, I think he remains looking fantastic!

I will say, I was honestly afraid of the studio switch when I saw Levi in the S4 trailer. However, he also had his moments with WIT (god forbid we forget).

// // //

I see a lot of people saying like “Finally! The Levi we deserve! How did we even put up with WIT Levi?” 

While I’m totally happy for ‘em that they get the version of Levi they’ve been waiting for, this is not how I feel at all. I still love Levi just as much as I ever did and always will, regardless of season, studio, etc.

Really, even season 1 Levi still makes my heart go beep-boop!!

// // //

Throughout my whole life, I realized that - compared to the tastes of my peers - I have always liked guys on the thinner side. While girls in my class talked about six-packs and ass, I was silently raising my hand: “okay anyone else like collarbones around here?” ><

From what I’ve heard, body shaming is happening from both sides. I’ve heard that he was being fat-shamed on tiktok. I’ve seen Levi called skinny trash on here. Neither is okay.

I know I’m a total softie - but it honestly makes me feel kinda bummed? Expressing your appreciation is no problem! Degrading others’ isn’t.

Thicc Levi is great. Thin Levi is great. There is never any need to body shame!

So yeah! In conclusion, I love Levi the way I always have and always will! I will never shame any Levi <3 HE IS A BEAUTIFUL SPECIMEN AND I ALWAYS APPRECIATE. 

Thanks for the ask, Bellbee!! All of my love 💞

[untaemedqueen]

Third Wheeling

CEO!Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Strangers to Lovers!AU, Angst, Fluff, Smut

Chapter 5.

Warnings (Updating Still): Smut, Cheating, Unexpected Pregnancy, Unfaithful, Emotional Damage

A/N: Shout out to my squad @ppersonna, @xjoonchildx, @ladyartemesia, @underthejoon for always spitballing ideas with me and reading over what I have written. I’m seriously so lucky to have my girls and my heart is so full with them around <3

Also the beautiful banner is by @xjoonchildx so now we have two gorgeous banners to alternate every other chapter! I’m so happyyyyyy!! Enjoy guys!

It's usually relaxed Sundays at the Yu penthouse like God intended them to be but instead this Sunday was filled with raucous screaming and over dramatic whining which you aren't exactly used to.

"Leena." Jin warns, almost as if he's speaking to a child. 

You watch as your best friend takes the stuffed animal you won at the Fall Festival out of it's cardboard box before chucking it back onto your unmade bed. It's her act of defiance and it warms your heart slightly to know how much she loves you.

"Relax, would you?" Jin asks, wrapping a painting of yours in bubble wrap.

"No." She huffs out as she folds her arms. 

You find yourself smirking as you wrap your arms around her. She stiffens slightly before melting into the hug and rocking you from side to side.

"I hate him. I hate him. I hate him!" She chants bitterly as Jin sets the painting against the wall.

"Why don't you tell us about your date with Taehyung?" Jin offers, trying to take her mind off of it.

"No." She replies childishly as she hugs you tighter.

Jin sighs gently as he picks up the contract. It's a thick packet with words and legal jargon you find yourself unable to understand.

"I'm going to go read this in the living room. Leena, come with me." Jin commands and she pouts at you as she pulls away.

"At least he bought her pretty things." She grumbles to your other best friend as she follows him out of your bedroom.

You sit on the edge of your bed, taking in the almost empty room. Your heart feels heavy in this moment. It's been almost six years since you moved into this apartment with Leena. 

This new journey will be the start to something extremely different from your norm. This will be the first time that you won't be seeing your best friend everyday, or when you wake up in the morning. It's jarring and more importantly frightening.

You had already quit your managerial position at the hospital, you've already packed up all of the things deemed "acceptable" for Yoongi's home. It really is a new path for your life.

Your parents loved you so very dearly from when you were quite young. They always knew what to say and what to do, always pushed for you to do the right things quite like them. They worked so hard for you to have a better life than they did when they were young. 

You can only hope to be as good of a parent as they were. 

Telling them you were pregnant was terrifying at first. You expected them to be disappointed with you. But, surprisingly, they were supportive. It was incredibly comforting, because no matter what happens you could count on them.

Looking down at your flat stomach, although you don't look different, you feel different. With a sigh, you close your eyes for a fraction of a second before taking in a deep breath.

Everyone keeps telling you to be strong, to have strength and everything will work out but unfortunately it isn't that easy. 

"Hey Y/N." Jin whispers as he leans against the door frame.

Opening your eyes, you give him a smile to try and tell him you're alright.

"The contract looks good. Namjoon did right by you." He tells you, holding up the packet and a pen.

You hold your hands out and he enters the room.

You can hear Leena's feet stomping down the long hallway as you put the packet on your lap. 

She arrives in the doorway with a martini in hand and you tilt your head to her as she scowls. 

"You can't have sex? Is he serious?" She scoffs.

You give a smirk as you sign the contract, "Seems like it. I asked him if I could have sex with him because he's the father and he sat there and literally told me he doesn't understand why I would have sex if I'm pregnant. He seemed repulsed." 

"I'll punch him in the dick." Leena murmurs into her martini glass.

"Yu Leena." Jin scolds as you set the pen down on your lap. 

"What?! He's a huge fucking dick suck." She says waving him off with her hand.

Both you and Jin snort loudly and he lays his head on your shoulder before hugging you tightly. 

"I'm gonna miss you, princess." He whispers.

"Me too." You mumble as you wrap your arms around his.

"Shouldn't you let the madam buy the child's furniture?" Yoongi hears Maya ask over his shoulder as he scours through the furniture website.

"If her ability to pick out furniture is as bad as her clothing or her shoes, my heir will end up sleeping in a rickety old basket made out of straw and hair." He retorts as she hands him his Irish coffee.

He hears her gentle sigh and he knows it's because somehow, something he said had disappointed her.

"What's wrong, Maya?" He asks as he locks the iPad, throwing it on the other side of the couch to look up at her.

She hums undecidedly before looking down at him as he sips his coffee, "Maybe try to be nice to her. She's going to have a hard time being pregnant in this household with your wife here." 

Her suggestion makes a shiver run up his spine. Just hearing the word pregnant sends him into some deep spiral.

Maya always has been kind hearted. She's always been understanding of others. Even if they don't deserve it.

Like with Sera, Maya will bust her ass to try to make the leech smile even if she gets sneers and snarky remarks in turn. 

She's too pure for this world. Too amazing for this cheap lifestyle.

"I am being nice to her. She gets to move in here." He responds as he sets the coffee cup down on his marble table.

“Min Yoongi.” Maya breathes out above a whisper before closing her eyes.

He watches her brow furrow with shame and he clears his throat uncomfortably before looking around the open gallery of the mansion to try and find any reason for her to leave.

“I didn’t raise you this way. You know that.” The older woman chides as she dusts off some of the priceless paintings that line the walls beside where he sits. 

He lets out a gentle snort as he leans back into the chaise lounge. 

“At least someone raised me, right?” He quips to her as he looks out the bay windows.

The garden seems well tended as of late, after the last fiasco with the uneven hedges he appreciates how much work his new gardeners have put into it.

He begins to wonder what you enjoy, what your hobbies are besides getting pounded in the back of your best friends club. Do you enjoy the finer things? Like yachting or horse racing? Do you even know what they are? Just how sheltered are you?

“What do poor people like? Swap meets?” Yoongi asks as he watches the rose bushes sway in the wind. 

“Yoongi.” Maya whispers dejectedly and he turns his head to her before shrugging. 

“Just asking.” He murmurs as a sparrow lands on the marble bird bath beside the window. 

“Why don’t you just try to get to know her? Ask her things like that without being rude.” Maya replies as she turns to him.

With a grimace, he finishes his coffee before handing the cup to her, “Why do I have to get to know her?”

“Oh my goodness.” Maya mumbles as she leaves the gallery. 

The billionaire watches her leave before slowly turning back to the window to stare aimlessly for a little while longer.

He's always been so jaded, always been so absolutely fucking ruthless because if he didn't protect himself from the outside world who would?

And even if it causes rifts, he just has to be this way. Because you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs.

The sounds of construction break him out of his thoughts. The contract must have gone through to Namjoon, if your room was already being renovated. Kira must have called and set up everything like she was supposed to.

It's a good thing she isn't just good for her tight snatch. 

Standing up with a groan, he stretches high up to the ceiling. He can hear and feel his bones popping and groaning to welcome a new day in front of him.

As he steps onto the heated marble flooring of the second floor, he knows he should be getting ready for work yet instead his curiosity begins to eat at him. 

What is your room starting to look like? How about the kids room? 

Walking past his walk-in closet, he can see dust and wood shavings on the floor in the hallway. His first thought is to curse out the constructors and threaten them if even a single wooden shard enters his room. But, before he can even open his mouth the shrill voice of his wife enters his ears.

"MIN YOONGI!" He can feel his brain rattling around in his skull, like a cry for help. He sighs loudly, it's really not a surprise that she can be even louder than the construction right in front of him.

Turning to her, he takes in her half asleep look. Her sleeping mask is stuck to her forehead, her black hair jutting out on all sides as she narrows her big, doll-like eyes at him.

"Some people are trying to sleep!" She screeches from the entrance of her wing in the mansion.

He chuckles to himself at her disheveled state and proceeds into his closet to get ready for work.

It probably won't end at that. And, he is absolutely correct.

Peeling off his sleep shirt, his eyes meet his wife's through the mirror as she storms into the room.

"I need beauty sleep, asshole!" She yells at him and he stares at her for a fraction of a second before clicking his teeth and tilting his head.

"You don't need beauty sleep, I paid for that face, leech." He deadpans.

His body is quick to duck out of the way as she takes the nearest object to the door before lobbing it at his head. 

"Did you do as I told you?" She asks, watching him grab his crisp white work shirt.

He doesn't reply, which in turn makes her repeat the same question louder with a high shrill added to her tone.

She's always been impatient and bratty. Once which was endearing to him is now like nails on a chalkboard.

"Hello?! I'm speaking to you! Answer me, asshole!" She yells as she snaps her fingers in his face.

Pressing his tongue to his cheek, he lets out a gentle snort before taking a deep inhale through his nose.

"When do I ever just do as you tell me to, Sera? When has that ever been a goal of mine?" He asks as he grabs his pinstriped tailored pants to match his shirt.

"What? So you didn't?" She asks, clearly shocked.

"Of course I didn't, what are you? Insane? Stupid? I'm a dick but I'm not heartless." He retorts.

"No! Just heartless to me!" She cries out angrily and he chuckles to himself as he grabs a tie.

"I'm sure you'll survive." He mumbles as he pulls the drawer full of his watches open. He watches them spin on their platforms before picking a black Rolex that would go nicely with his pants.

"The plan was for you to make her say that she's my surrogate! Since I'm so beautiful and so famous, she would be carrying my child instead!" Just hearing her ridiculous plan again makes him almost as uncomfortable as the first time he heard it.

In all honesty, as soon as those words left her mouth he didn't even entertain the idea. It seemed so wholly horrible and so absolutely fucking selfish. But, this is Sera we're talking about.

"That was your plan. You think I would ever force her or anyone to have to go in front of people and say their kid isn't their own? Jesus Christ. You really are a fucking leech." He spits out.

"But! But, she's going to use you for your money! She's going to ruin everything!" She screams above the incessant construction.

The sentence sends something akin to fire flaming throughout his gut.

"Well, leech, it's not like I'm not used to being used for my money. If anything you can teach her first hand what it's like to milk me like a money cow." Her mouth opens slightly, as if she's appalled by the notion.

It's then that his patience snaps like a thin twig beneath weight.

"Do you want to see my dick?" He asks briskly.

"Ew! What? No, of course not!" She yells at him as he gathers his clothes onto one arm.

"Then get the fuck out. I have to get ready for work." She stomps her foot loudly as if in protest but he brushes by her without a word back to his bedroom.

"Fucking money grubbing leech." He whispers to himself as he slams his bedroom door closed behind him.

Thursday nights were appointed for one thing in Min Yoongi's eyes. Poker.

The library which he barely ever entered as well as his wife that couldn't read more than ten words without having a seizure was always occupied on Thursdays. 

Usually, the other five members of his social circle were always present but today he only had the pleasure of four of them.

"I love that Maya deals." Taehyung chuckles as he pulls the pile of poker chips in the middle of the table towards him.

Yoongi snorts gently, clamping the cigar between his teeth tighter as he stacks his chips with one hand.

"Maya, can I please have some more ice?" Namjoon asks softly as he holds up the bucket.

"Oh of course!" She says quickly as she takes the bucket from him.

Taehyung and Jimin watch her leave before slyly smirking to Yoongi as he leans back in his chair with a groan. The way they look at him makes him feel like prey in a baron forest.

"What?" He murmurs as he pulls the cigar from his mouth.

The tips of Taehyung's fingers slide over the green felt table as he lifts his glass of whisky.

"I heard something interesting about you." He replies to his older friend.

Namjoon clears his throat uncomfortably as he crosses his legs beneath the lip of the table. 

"Oh yeah? What's that? Something about my board of trustees?" Yoongi asks with a laugh as he picks up his own glass.

"Not so much." Jimin murmurs as he ashes his cigar.

"Heard you got a girl pregnant." Yoongi chokes on his whisky as he hears Taehyung's smooth voice. His eyes widen and he spins his chair around to dab at his mouth. 

His blood runs cold as the hotel CEO chuckles behind him. It scares the ever living shit out of him and he hates that.

"Where'd you hear that?" He asks gently, his voice audibly shaking as he turns back around.

"A little after I pulled my dick out of Yu Leena's tight ass." Jimin snickers at the admission and Yoongi closes his eyes in defeat.

"You won't say anything, right?" Namjoon asks quietly as he looks over at his best friend.

Hoseok, Yoongi's other best friend since childhood had only recently found out about you and his heir. While he was surprised, he was always loyal to the CEO and Yoongi knew he could count on his silence.

"I definitely won't. I like it when Leena comes over and if I say anything she won't let me take her to France in two weeks." The Kisung Connected CEO sighs in relief at the younger man's admission.

Maya returns with the ice and it gets quiet for a bit, just the gentle sounds of ice clinking against glass and poker chips smacking into each other resound throughout the large library.

"Leena loves her, y'know. She never shuts up about her. I feel like I know her with how much Leena tells me." Taehyung says as he rubs two poker chips together between his fingers.

This peaks his curiosity as he begins to relax into the chair once more.

"What does she say?" Yoongi asks softly and he watches as Maya smirks gently. Her motions are soft and smooth as she deals the cards. 

"About Y/N? That she's really sweet and kind. She works really hard and enjoys simple things like most poor people." Humming inquisitively, he lifts his whisky glass to his lips to ponder that thought.

"Simple things? Like?" Taehyung rolls his eyes at Yoongi's question.

"Yeah. Simple things. She likes to paint and to watch romantic movies. She enjoys cooking and other poor people shit." 

He begins to wonder how well you can paint. If you were any good at it.

"She's really sweet." Namjoon adds and Yoongi grimaces in his direction.

Noticing his grimace, the lawyer shrugs with a smirk.

"Is she the girl that was with Leena on her birthday?" Jimin asks and both Yoongi and Taehyung nod at the same time.

"Oh dude! She's so fucking hot! I can't believe you got to her before me!" Hearing those words roll off of his friend's tongue sets him in an uncomfortable state.

His body leans away from Jimin's as he clutches the cigar tighter between his index and middle finger.

"So she's moving in here?" Jimin asks happily.

"In two days. Yes. We have to go to the doctor and then she'll be in the mansion." 

Hoseok nudges Namjoon as they watch their best friend move uncomfortably. 

Yoongi loosens his tie around his neck, his face and chest begin to feel incredibly hot and flush. He can feel the sweat building on his hairline as he uncuffs his cufflinks. 

"Maya." He whispers as he holds them out over the table. 

Swallowing thickly, he stares down into his glass as the ice clinks against the crystal sides.

"You're lucky she's moving in. Now you'll have constant pussy." Jimin says as he scrolls through Leena's Instagram. 

The concept is completely foreign to Yoongi, "She's pregnant. Why would I fuck her?" 

Namjoon chuckles to himself gently as he looks at his cards, he tosses a few chips into the center of the table before looking pointedly at his best friend.

"Because man, pregnant pussy feels so much better than regular pussy. Plus, she's carrying your baby. That's fucking hot." Yoongi sneers at Jimin, the corner of his upper lip flicking upward at the notion.

"You're a fucking short little weirdo, Park Jimin." Yoongi's sentence comes out just a bit more acidic than he means it to but he doesn't apologize.

If anything the small flames of anger seem to burnish brighter as Jimin chuckles to himself. Park has always been so sure of himself, so absolutely ruthless in getting what he wants. But, you weren't his to have.

"If you aren't going to fuck her right, can I?" He asks as he tosses chips into the middle of the table. 

Yoongi's hand grips into a fist, the edges of the chips he holds make uncomfortable indents into his skin as he focuses on Maya's face to calm himself down.

"Whoa. Jimin." Hoseok mumbles as Jimin laughs.

"Calm down hyung. I'm just playing with you. I'll just ask her out on a date and we'll see where it goes." Yoongi chuckles to himself.

He can't begin to understand why it bothers him so much to hear those words. Maybe it's because you're being treated flippantly or maybe it's because you were his. Or, should be his anyway. You were having his child. Doesn't that make you off limits?

But he was better than this. He was better than letting small, simple things beneath his skin.

"She won't say yes. She's pregnant with my baby." He says as he chucks his chips into the center of the table roughly.

"We'll see. If she does say yes, just know I'll treat your baby mama with a lot of respect...as I rearrange her guts with the head of my cock." Jimin and Taehyung chortle loudly as they knock their shoulders into one another. 

Scoffing gently, he downs the rest of his whisky before wiping the back of his hand over his lips.

It takes all of his restraint to not get out of his chair and punch the shorter man in the face. It takes every single ounce of strength to just stay seated and look as if he's calm while on the inside he's burning bright with red hot rage.

"You watch your fucking mouth, Jimin. She's the mother of my child." He says as he points his finger over the lip of his glass at the younger man.

The laughs die down as they notice just how deadly serious he is. 

"Oh, now you care about her? Seemed like she was going to be just another leech ten minutes ago." Jimin chuckles as he speaks his words and Namjoon's eyes flutter shut in defeat.

"Yeah well, if she was to be a leech. She would be my leech. Not yours. You watch your fucking mouth when you talk about the mother of my baby in this fucking house, do you understand me?" He doesn't even understand where this rage is coming from. He can't begin to process it, but he doesn't miss the smile that creeps onto Maya's face as he defends your honor.

Jimin holds his hands up with a laugh as he clenches his cigar between his teeth. 

"Calm down Yoongi. I'm just fucking with you. I don't want to fuck your poor baby mama, alright?" 

Namjoon sits up fast as Yoongi goes to stand up, "Let's just all relax. Calm down." He tells his best friend as he puts his hand on his shoulder.

"Get out." He says aloud as he brushes Namjoon's hand off his shoulder.

Jimin looks up at Yoongi as Maya gently sets the cards down on the felt table. 

"Oh Yoongi. Come on, I was fucking around." He says half heartedly.

"I'm done for the night. Get the fuck out." He burns his cigar out before opening up the library doors.

Everyone stands and thanks Maya softly before heading out one by one. Yoongi catches Jimin by the shoulder as he leaves last.

His hand clasps roughly around his skin and Jimin cringes at the sharp pain, "You keep her fucking name out of your goddamn mouth. Do you understand me? Don't you dare ever disrespect her in this household again. Or, I'll release those pictures of you at your bachelor party to Dispatch. You keep your dick away from where it doesn't belong in this house."

The threat sends Jimin's eyes widening a fraction before he collects his composure, "I got it. Relax." He says before pulling his shoulder away and patting the older man's arm.

Taking a deep breath, he looks around the library before meeting Maya's gaze as she clears the cards off of the poker table.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that nasty stuff." He apologizes and her nose wrinkles sweetly as she smiles.

"Now that, that is how I raised you." He smirks gently at her praise before pocketing his hands and looking down at the floor.

"Can you order some paint brushes and canvas?" He asks softly.

"Oh of course! For you? You don't paint." Maya asks, her voice is riddled with confusion as she stacks the poker chips back in the oak box.

"No, I don't but Y/N does." He mumbles and Maya smiles widely before nodding. 

"Of course I'll order her some painting materials! That's a great idea, Yoongs!" Seeing her, the woman who has raised him, get so excited about it makes him feel almost drunk off of delight.

But, then he gets brought down to Earth once more as he hears his wife giggle from the kitchen. 

"Thanks, Maya." He mumbles as he sets off to his wing of the mansion. He eyes Hoseok chatting up his wife as they both lean against the bar and he snorts to himself in disbelief. At least someone would be getting laid tonight.

The problem with having a wife that sees other people is just how loud sex can get when you're not involved. 

At one point Yoongi craved to be in Hoseok's position. He was dying to get in between Sera's legs albeit she was annoying and bratty since they were kids. He had a genuinely real crush on her that dissolved into distaste and pure hatred in a matter of moments.

Even across the whole mansion, he can hear her getting fucked like there's no tomorrow and he grimaces while turning to the window as he lays in bed. 

"Music up to ninety percent." He calls out in the room and the volume of the classical piano piece rises quickly to drown out the feral noises of sex from the other wing in the mansion.

Pulling out his phone, he begins to scroll through Instagram before finding Leena's page. There were so many posts with just you and her or you, her and Seokjin. Your smile was pretty. He takes into account that you haven't really smiled around him all that much but he can understand why. 

He can remember your giggle too, when you were in Namjoon's office. It was soft and gentle, like hummingbird wings. The noise instantly made him relax and he can remember how his eyes fluttered shut just upon hearing it.

You weren't a bad person. You weren't trying to trap him-- he could see it on your face when you had lunch. You were genuinely mortified. So fucking frightened. And, even though he doesn't know you, you don't deserve that.

You don't deserve to be terrified of him or anyone. 

He can see in most of these pictures, you're wearing borrowed things. The Chanel, the Balenciaga, the Gucci-- it was all Leenas and none of it was your own. 

How fucking depressing must that be? Did Leena make you wear her clothes or did you ask her to borrow some in order to not feel poor and unworthy around others? 

Sighing gently, he presses his face deeper into the pillow as he continues to scroll.

Maybe he shouldn't treat you like another Sera. But, he doesn't trust a single person. He's learned to lock his heart away in an iron cage after Sera so brutally stepped on him.

He's not sure if he could ever truly open up to someone else that isn't the woman who raised him.

Next Chapter --->

Third Wheeling Taglist- @wickizer, @imluckybitches, @slothykreuger, @claireelise19, @ggukkieland, @rspbrryy, @iv-bts, @bambuzlee, @chanelbts, @mxxngxdss, @bluewhale52, @milesjeon11, @diamonddia-mond, @vinylphwoar, @yxnxxli, @hubbytaehyung, @140503at-dawn, @bts-7beauts, @jadeblackwoll, @sunshiine-hobii, @creatorspalace, @eclectically-esoteric, @nikkiordonez12, @kaitswrld, @skamlover200, @sevgilove98, @kooeuphoria, @jikooksgirl19, @hobbledehoy26, @singular-itae, @dchimminie, @lowlifeoeuvre, @laabellaavitaa21, @bloopbloopb, @pjmcth, @softysuho, @codeinbelle, @jaiuneamesolitaiire, @betysotelo18, @jeonmisha, @iwanttohitmyself, @ayyyocee, @neverthefirstchoice, @itsbangtanoclock, @little7bitchh, @veryuniquenamegoeshere, @deathkat657, @firstlovesuga-93, @namjoonia, @paperpurple, @muzikabijou, @liebeoppa, @veronawrites, @kleff03, @ruinsofangels, @brightwingr5, @leekanchol, @rkivemagic, @ithinkileftmycoatoutside, @melaninkpops, @y00ngisbabygirl, @ungodlyjoon, @prochnost513, @dunixxd, @athenakyle, @igotnotype, @chxmachxps, @tinymintyoongi, @vangameren-blog, @alpaca1612, @ohcarolinamin​, @thegreatestsushi​, @jooniebugg​, @eltrain80​, @btsmylife21​, @deeepvibes​

Some people couldn’t be tagged, I’m so sorry about that!

[servingy-nneeds]

PLEASE DON’T NOTICE ME

WHAT KIND OF YANDERE ARE THEY?: KEIGO TAKAMI (HAWKS) PART 2

TRIGGER WARNING: MANIPULATIVE, Mentions of assault

COMBINATION:  MONOPOLY and REMOVAL TYPE

Monopoly type of Yandere tries to monopolize their lover in any way or form. Trying to get you to distrust people, in worse case scenarios wouldn’t let you socialize with other people. Their reasoning that ‘they may harm you’ and that you are far too naive for it to notice. Is extremely inquisitive on who you hang out with and where you are at a particular time.  

Removal type of Yandere go through great lengths in order to remove people whom they deemed isn’t worth your attention, everyone. This includes any forms of social interactions digital or physical. After all you have them in your life what more can you ask for.

You always considered yourself as a kind person, willing to always a lend a hand to others. But you never said you were oblivious.

You always took note his sudden shift in behavior whenever the situation involves you. The first time it happened was back when he saved you again for the second time when a drunk forced himself on you. Back when you first met you always thought he viewed you as an annoying person, the twitching polite smile he presented you gave himself away. And then the next thing you knew after politely caring for his non vital wound, he started sticking himself closer to you.

Initially he just wanted to get invited inside your home. After that he started walking you back home, he said “I just happened to be around this area”. And when he randomly showed up in your job one day claiming that your company sponsored one of his commercial, you knew something was up.

“Hey want to have a lunch together? I found this awesome place where they sell these mean ass bbq’d chicken ” an unknown number showed up on your phone one day. Ignoring the message you continued catching up on your report. That is until another message showed up “Sorry, this is Hawks got your number from one of your buddies, told em I know you and stuff, that good with you?”.

You would had simply ignored on how he got your number if not for the fact that you were new at your office, never had this so called “buddy” and worse you never told anyone your personal contact number you always used your company phone for communication.

The weeks after that he started invading your breaks pulling you away before your co-workers had a chance to invite you for lunch breaks. The result? they tend to shy away from you, finding it awkward being close to you when you obviously have a personal relationship with the no.2 pro Hero.

When you tried distancing yourself from him, finding a piss poor excuse on how you cannot accompany him for lunch or dinner, and even refusing to be accompanied on your way home, you openly voiced out your distaste at the idea of being flown back to your apartment. Not wanting your safety be fully in his hands.

“Hey y/n, darling I noticed you’re pretty distant this past days” he spoke to you when he caught you chilling at the company’s roof top one day, well you never thought he would be pretty upfront with your behavior.

“Yeah sorry ‘bout that, someone in my office said that I might be distracting you from hero work and all” you said lying, avoiding eye contact, you knew you were really scraping the bottom for excuse this time. Believing you easily, he never liked your co worker sticking close to you and now they instilled this idea on you now? Well he couldn’t have that. Deciding to prod again at your weakness, mainly that you were oozing with sympathy and easily guilt tripped.

“Well I am a pretty over bearing guy” he said softly looking down on his feet “I grew up pretty much alone in the commission and never really had someone to hang out with, so I just tend to be clingy, really wanted to try out this normalcy once in a while y’know? Sorry ‘bout all this” he said cracking his voice up a bit to further emphasize that he is showing his vulnerable side to cater to your empathetic side.

He really hope it works, otherwise he’d have to go plan B. Kidnapping you isn’t as much fun compared to the idea of you willingly submitting yourself to him.

“Maybe we can hang out at weekends” you said eyes full of sympathy.

Bingo.Next stop those nosy colleagues of yours.

“Hey y/n thank goodness are you ok?” one of your colleagues called out to you one day. Shocked by the sudden unusual approach from a total stranger you asked what the commotion is all about. “You know that guy that was interning for you? Well turns out he has numerous cases of assault, you can never trust anyone this days” she huffed before storming off.

The next was the same girl who approached you willingly trying to warn you. You found out a week later in a daily news that her body was found in the area where you usually commute and was burned to the point of unrecognizable. You voiced your concern to Hawks one day simply because there was no way he would be involved in any of these, after all he is a Hero and doesn’t quite have a quirk that allows him to burn others. He does know someone, but you don’t know that.

With a shaking hand you quickly dialing his phone number and meeting with him within a 10 minutes time frame. “I hate to be that kind of person, especially since I rejected your offer in the past but I really hope you can escort me back home, just this time I swear” you rambled as he hugged you tightly comforting you, giving you a shoulder to cry on for support. Shame you missed the way his eyes glint or the ever growing grin he sported

After courting you for couple of months, you noticed he wasn’t as clingy as before and was quite understanding when you set your boundaries. You thought he changed for you he didn’t.  It wasn’t a surprise when you accepted his proposal when he asked you out of blue one day presenting you a ruffled bouquet of flowers and a feather of his own, he claims it was to keep you safe. It’s a tracking device

Going out with him wasn’t as bad as you thought. He plays this boyfriend role perfectly. He had brought you two a matching phone when you accidentally dropped it at a lake during your date when an elderly bumped into you.Though sometimes you voiced out your concern for him that you weren’t accepting important messages at times.

After that he brought you a plush of a duck that looked strangely liked him which you thought was downright adorable and cuddly. Though sometimes when you sleep you feel as if the plush’s beady eye is steadily staring right back at you, but you chalked it up as being paranoid just like these past days whenever you go out without Hawks. 

Making you move in with him was next in his plan albeit he had some difficulty convincing you. He insisted it was for your safety. But really it was for his mental well being (1) his flat was considerably more secured, has a lot more advanced locks he’s got access to (2) He can now monitor you 24/7 even without that duck’s help (3) he’ll can finally record your voice whenever he wants, even without the bugged phone and best of all he’s got you all to himself, away from all those damn people that consumes your time.

So here you are now wearing one of his shirts, he pleas with puppy dog eyes that it looks adorable on you, spending another whole day in your shared living room, with nothing else to preoccupy your time. At this point you had no friends, only work buddies, your contact with your relatives even your parents and siblings were seldom to none, they insists it was you who cut them off saying you weren’t answering their calls or messages.

Hawks claimed that they were lying to you and that they didn’t wanted to come out as the bad guy for not talking to you.

Brushing your hands along his hair with a hum, while he lays his head on your lap, he insists it was relaxing therapeutic to him, while trying to watch some type of animated cartoon movie he insists was ‘safe for you to view’.

Moving around he grabbed your waist burying himself to your midsection then he said “You know hawks mate for life?” making you chuckle a bit thinking it was one of his bird jokes. “We’ll see about when you put a ring on this you simp” you said showing your ring finger.

He softly chuckled to himself thinking ‘Yeah you weren’t oblivious, you were dead blind’

Check out Part 1

[plush-rabbit]

Don’t Move

Warnings: NSFW, Oral Sex, Dub-Con, Double Penetration, Humiliation, Anal, Possessiveness 

Word Count: 6.3K

A/N: Ignore the mistakes lmao! Enjoy! NSFW starts shortly after the cut:)

-

You've been gone for a while. Your daily messages have dwindled down, you hardly call, you've refused to video chat the past couple of months and to top it all, you seem rather bored to be sitting down with them.

Your food has been picked at, your fork twirling in your hand, scratching at the porcelain bowl as you listen to Kai ramble about who knows what. 

"You seem bored." Hari's hand touches your wrist, his fingers clasp around your wrist, stopping your movements. His hand is cold to the touch, sending a sudder down your spine. 

You remember a time where you used to clasp his hand in yours, telling him with a cheeky smile that he was always so cold, so perfect for hot weather. It's a fleeting memory that you're unsure of why it even popped up.

Next to you Kai clears his throat and dabs at his mouth with a wine colored napkin. "If we're boring you, then you're free to leave." His eyes bore into yours and you feel exposed.

You shake your head. "No, no. It's-It's not that." You sit up straighter and the fork clinks against the bowl. "I just-" You try to find the words but fail to come up with anything. You reach a hand to grab at your wine glass, fingers grazing the stem of the glass before you're pulled away. 

"You seem to have something on your mind." A gloved hand turns your face. "Talk to us. We used to be so close. What happened?" Kai's voice is sickly sweet. A pit begins to grow in your stomach, a deep, dark void that is telling you to run and to never stop.

You open and close your mouth. A flash of pink swipes across your lips and you turn your head to look at your glass, your face is held again by Kai's hand, while a gloved finger dances around the rim of your glass.

"I just-" You spare another look at the glass before you're forced to look at Kai. 

A body presses against your back, hands coming to place themselves at your sides.

You help at the sudden contact and all at once, the restaurant dings and clinks with dropped silverware. Your body burns with shame and embarrassment. You remove your cardigan and clutch it in your lap. 

"It's- I'm having relationship problems is all." You fail to notice a set of eyes widen and another golden pair narrow with lips curled in disgust behind a black mask. "Well it’s not really a problem but more like an issue. I met this guy and he's really great," you whisper the last word, "but our anniversary is next week and," you twirl a loose string of fabric and wrap it around your finger, "I don't know what to get him." Your bottom lip comes to a pout. "I'm sorry I seem so disinterested but I really like him and I-"

"Anniversary?" Kai's voice cuts you off. "I didn't know you were seeing someone." He watches your glass, blinking lazily at it and sighs.

"I've been so busy with school-"

"But not busy enough considering you're fucking some pig on the side." You can hear the disgust in his voice. He’s looking down on you like you’re some common trash. You’re revolting him.

“No, he’s not,” you say but there’s not much conviction in your voice. You’re too scared to stand up to him. It suddenly dawned on you who you’re having dinner with. “He’s really great.” The knife in his hands catches in the light. It winks at you and you have to look away before you’re blinded. The pasta on your plate has gone cold and no longer looks appetizing. “He-He doesn’t have a quirk. I thought you’d like him,” you whisper out, your head down. The string hanging off the cardigan snaps off. 

“Oh. You thought I’d like him?” His voice is high, frillish. It’s a mockery of your own voice and it leaves a sour taste on your tongue. The pit in your stomach is a storm now. 

“I-I-” You don’t even know what to say. You wish you hadn’t said anything. You wished you looked more interested in whatever Kai was rattling on about. You wish you weren't here.

“Overhaul, you’re scaring her.” Nails are digging into your shoulders. “Can’t you see, the poor thing is shaking.” You pinch your legs together. “I’m sure they aren’t even that serious.” Two pairs of hungry eyes are on you. “How long have you two been dating?”

Through the fabric of your top, his hands turn into claws. You know that angry, red lines are etched on your skin when you take too long to answer. “Ha-Half a year.” You croak. “Little bit before I went to school.” You look up at stormy gray eyes. “I want a drink.”

His hands leave your shoulders and you reach for the wine, hands shaky, the drink rattles around, sloshing and threatening to spill. You gulp it down and your throat hurts. 

The table has grown silent. You’re holding the glass in your hands too scared to disrupt the silence with your nervousness. 

“I’m leaving.” Chisaki throws the napkin on the plate and walks away. You stare at his retreating form. The weight on your chest eases a bit until you hear Kurono speak.

“Tsk. You made the boss mad.”

“I didn’t-” Your voice is frantic and tears well up in the corners of your eyes.

“I know. You were just being,” he hesitates to find the correct words, “reckless.” He pulls out a card and ushers the waiter over. “You should go apologize. You know how he can get when he’s angry.”

You nod, your lips pulled into a tight frown. You get up and pause halfway. “Wait, the check.”

“I have it covered.” He replies cooly, not sparing you a glance. “Now go.

You make haste to catch up to sigh, smiling and waving a hand as the host as they tell you to enjoy your night. 

The humid air contrasts the cold air that hugs your body. You look around the parking lot, eyes landing to a dark figure making its way to a black car. 

You speed walk over, your hands forming into fists, your nails dig into your palms, little red crescent shaped marks appear instantly. “Chi-Kai! Wait!” You call out, forcing your hands to open up. “Kai, please!” He stops against the passenger side door. His back is facing you.

You stand behind him, breathing heavily. “Kai. I’m sorry.” You don’t even know why you’re sorry. “I didn’t mean to make you upset. I thought-” Don’t place any blame on him, you know how this works out. It’s worked like this ever since you’ve met him. He’s the perfect one. You’re the one that always has to apologize because you’re so incompetent. A flash of lightning sears across the sky. It’s followed by a clap of thunder. “I shouldn’t have said anything Kai. I’m sorry.” 

His golden eyes pierce through the darkness. You remember learning in class that the brighter the object, the deadlier it is. “You’re sorry?” He asks, raising a thin brow.

“Extremely sorry,” you agree. 

“So you’ll break up with him?” His voice is slow, eyes never leaving yours.

“I-I can’t. Kai, please. I really like him.” You want to cry. 

He takes a step towards you. His arm is outstretched. A gloved hand cups your cheek, the thumb brushing along your lips. A loud smack sounds across the parking lot. You whimper and hold your face where a bright red has marked you. 

“I don’t want to hurt you.” He can do so much worse to you. Oh god, why did you open your mouth. “Tell me,” he plays with a strand of your hair. “Has he touched you already?” Your face is hidden behind your hands. 

You beg him to stop. Tears slip down your face and you’re flushed with embarrassment. You shake your head when he starts to speak, hands covering your ears while you shut your eyes, not wanting to hear him. 

“Please Kai.” You repeat like a mantra while shaking your head. It’s starting to mist. 

The parking lot is empty, save for a figure walking towards you. 

This figure’s eyes narrowed and underneath the raised hood, hair begins to elongate, stretching out towards you.

“Kai,” you look at him through tears, “Kai I want to-” You fall forward crying out and bracing yourself for impact on the concrete but you find yourself being held by strong arms. You can feel warmth trail down your leg. You try to raise your arms to pull yourself away from Chisaki but find yourself unable to. You’re unable to move, feeling as though your bones have turned into rocks, weighing you down and rendering you useless. 

“She’ll be out for an hour.” Kurono’s voice is clear and holds no emotion. “Should be long enough.” Something soft is wrapped around your leg. It fits snug around you  and the blood that was leaking out of you is wiped away. The stench of alcohol makes its way to your nose and you close your eyes.

“Let’s go.” Kai commands, handing you off to Kurono.

-

The fabric across your eyes is soft, it’s pressed firmly against you, allowing no light to pass through. You are utterly blind.

You've forgotten who you were with. You could only remember them when they were younger. When they weren't so dangerous. When all that they talked about was ambitions and dreams, ifs and hypotheticals- not reality. You forgot that college was a way for you to escape, a way to finally experience life. All you remembered were their kind smiles, their hands holding onto yours when you got lost, them protecting you from bad people- people that they deemed bad. But that wasn't reality. The reality was their cold smiles as they examined you, their hands holding tightly onto yours to prevent you from wandering off, people pleading for mercy, that they hadn't meant to touch you, they just weren't looking. You weren't looking. You were turning a blind eye, looking away and telling yourself that those people deserved it, that they were bad. And now, when you can truly see who they are, you're still blind.

You know where you are. You know how to get back to the city and cry until a hero comes to your rescue. There isn't anything holding you down. You could run, make a break for it.

You move a leg, hoping, wishing against all odds that maybe Kurono had taken pity on you and you could move now, but when your hand moves as if it were held together with molasses, your eyes water and tears catch on your eyelashes. You should have known he would make sure to get you.

"Don't move," Kurono says, his hands dragging down from your skirt, the fabric soft against him, and then his fingertips freeze against your skin. "I mean, it's not like you can anyways." He chuckles when your leg twitches. "Sorry."

The bottom of the fabric dampens with your tears. You must look pathetic to them. You know no amounts of pleading will save you from their wrath. Your chest shudders as you breathe. You want to curl up in a ball and wish that you were home, pinch yourself that you were in the arms of your partner. But you don't even have the luxury of wiping away your tears.

"You always were so pretty." Kurono's fingers are tracing against your skin. They swipe down from your thigh, circle your knee, and flick at your ankle. 

"Please Kai, please Hari," you whine, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." 

"Why?" Kurono's fingers glide across your skin. "What are you sorry for?" They dance underneath your skirt. 

You want to squirm underneath his touch. You want to do anything you can to push him away. He's so cold. 

"I'm-" You let out a sob when his fingers trace your panty line.

"An empty apology, hm? I wonder do you give your partner empty apologies as well? Empty promises?" He swipes at your clothes slit, pressing down and humming when your body responds to his touch. "Tell me, have you promised him anything special?" 

You hold your breath as he pushes your panties to the side, the cold air of the room meeting your heat makes you whimper. 

"Move aside Hari," Kai's voice cuts through the air. "I'm not in the mood to have seconds." With a wave of his wand, Hari moves aside and sits next to you, grabbing your hand and begins to play with your fingers. His touch is ice cold, you can feel your heat being sapped out. Your fingers scream and ache for warmth, for movement, anything to feel heat once again. 

Kai lifts your legs and places them on his shoulders, your skirt barely covers your core. The only thing in between him and you is a thin layer of clothing.

"Have you fucked him?" Chisaki asks. 

You stay silent. 

A bare hand lays flat against your thigh and it takes everything in you to not scream.

"I asked you a question." He rises from where he laid. Your legs fall against the mattress with a thump and suddenly you can see. 

The bright fluorescent lights blind you and you squeeze your eyes shut. Your heavy breathing fills the room. Little whines and sniffles accompany the noise. 

A hand is wrapped around your throat and it pulls you back to reality. You snap your eyes open when he begins to speak. "Have you fucked him?"

"No," you whisper, your voice wavering. "No, I havent fucked him Kai. I promise." 

"Why?" 

You feel sick. "I wanted it to be special," you say dumbly. Your ears burn with shame and you can't make eye contact. 

"Were you going to fuck him on your anniversary?" The grip around your throat tightens.

"Yes. If-If he wanted to." You beg for this to end, but it falls on deaf ears.

"Has he touched you before? Have you touched him?" He raises a thin brow, golden eyes looking over at you. 

"Kai please-" your skirt is gone, it flashes away and strands are left coating your legs. "I'm sorry!" 

"What's the answer?"

"We-We only did hand stuff." It sounds so pathetic when said out loud- so juvenile. "Nothing else, Kai, I swear!" 

Chisaki regards you heavily. The pressure around your neck is heavy, your face is growing red and the need for air growing until you're seeing black spots dot your vision. 

Suddenly you have air back and you're coughing and choking on your spit. You're begging for forgiveness. Telling him, telling them both, that you won't do it again, that it was a moment of weakness. Your hair is toyed with, and a streak of gray teases your vision. You snap your mouth shut.

You focus on the ceiling, the lights blind you and hurt your head. You've known them for long enough that there's never any empty threats, that the only reason you've survived this long with them is because you're obedient. You're a pet to them- something that they could mold into what they want you to be. But you've spread your wings too far, chirped too loudly and now your wings must be clipped. 

Hands run down your body. Manicured nails grip the edge of your thin sweater, bunching it in their hands and smoothing it out with a pat on your stomach. A thoughtful hum fills your ears, gentle touches on your stomach, fi gets freezing when they touch the little bow on your bra. You dont usher a word, scared that if they remember you're still alive, one of them will end you.

It's quick. You hardly even realize that your clothes are gone until the ripped fabric rests on you and slides down your skin. All that's left now are your heels and panties.

You meet his golden eyes. They're unblinking as they examine you. Eyes flicker over your skin, analyzing and trying to figure out if you’re telling the truth. 

"You know I hate messes." It holds no malice, no undertones of threat- just a simple reminder of who he is.

You nod to the best of your ability. "I know Kai." You give him a grin that struggles to fully form. 

All eyes are on him as he pulls his mask off. You would always make a deal when he would take it off, you always saw it that he truly did care for you, that his removal of a mask was an approval of you. But now when his lips are pressed against your unmoving ones, you desperately wish for the mask.

You pucker against him. Your eyes are closed and you pretend you're with your partner. There's nipping at your bottom lip, teeth clashing against each other awkwardly, hands roaming down your sides and touching your breasts. 

You breathe his name out, it rises and cracks in the middle and your leg kicks out, brushing against his calf. You promise him to be good, that you'll break it off with your partner, that you won't ever bring this up again. 

He grabs you by the face and forces you to look at him. If looks could kill, you'd be dead a hundred times over.

You focused your gaze on the lights, and squeezed Kurono's hand tight. You whimper when his mouth drags down your breast, your nipple erecting at the stimulation. 

Mouth covers your breast, harsh kisses pressed against your skin, your chest littered with love bites. A hand brushes against your heat and a moan tears through you.

"Already so wet," Kai muses, playing with your clit through the fabric. 

Without fully understanding what's about to happen, choosing to ignore the sensations coursing through your body, your delicates are tossed over to Kurono who places your hand above his crotch. You scrunch your face in disgust when his cock twitches underneath you. 

"You've already gotten me so hard by just being toyed with." You peer over to Kurono whose face is buried in your panties. "You smell absolutely divine might I add."

"You'll get your turn Chrono." Chisaki's voice cuts in. "Let me have my fill." 

A high pitched whine erupts from your throat when a finger is experimentally pressed inside of you. The finger moves inside of you, circling around and pressing into every squishy part, petting every surface with gentleness and curiosity. Another finger presses inside of you, working its way around, feeling every groove, every way that your cunt pours out its arousal, every way your cunt tightens and begs for more. You writhe as he works his way, your face burned red and fighting back moans to no avail.

Chisaki’s voice cuts through your moans, speaking above you, “You know the reason why we’re doing this-” He pauses to let you moan out, your hand clamping over your mouth, “-is to show you how real men treat their women. With the way you're leaking, I bet he’s never made you feel this way. You’re squeezin so tight around my fingers that it makes me sure that this is the first time you’ve ever been finger fucked so good.” Your moans are a sufficient answer for him.

Metal clinks together, the sound is lost with the wet, squishy noises coming out of you. Chisaki’s fingers massaging the inside of your walls, pressing down and rubbing, urging more juices out of you.

“Ah-ah, Chisaki,” you croak out, sucking in your lower lip.. You snap your mouth shut, and tense. Your walls tighten around his fingers, soaking him further.

“You really love being fingered, don’t you?” His lips pressed against your cunt send vibrations and tingle your clit. “You know why I’m doing this, right?”

“Yes, I do.” Your back arches and in the corner of your eye you see Kurono jerking himself off, his cock fisted in his hands.

You scream out, your hands clutch your chest, and you twitch when Chisaki works his tongue in you. Your hand is pulled away from your chest. You let out a gasp when your hand wraps around something hard. 

You crane your neck over and see your hand is covered by Kurono’s. He’s pleasuring himself with your hand. When you attempt to pull away, he tightens his hold on you, freezing you in place when he begins to use your hand.

Slowly, he releases his hold on you, letting your own hand work by itself. “Why are we doing this?” Kurono asks, petting your hair.

“Be-Because I need to know how real men treat their women.” You’re lightly jerking off Kurono, your hand is limp around him, only your forefinger and thumb circling around him while the rest barely graze his cock.

“Come now, surely you didn't pleasure him like this?” Kurono’s voice is teasing, something that you’ve only heard a handful of times.

Your grip tightens around him and with a jerky motion, you pull against his skin, hiccuping when and shutting your eyes when he tells you what a good girl you are. He pets your hair as he compliments you, telling you words of praise muddled in with moans.

“How much did you love them?” Chisaki asks, his breath hot against you.

The question catches you off guard. “What?” 

“How much did you love them? I mean you must have right? To touch their cock with your bare hand? To let them touch and play with your cunt?” He slaps your cunt. “Did you love them?”

“Kai-”

“Don’t tell me you just opened your legs for anyone. If you were going to let him defile you, then why didn't you ask us? We love you.” He kisses your clit. “And you love us.”

You stay silent, your grip tightens around Kurono and he’s edging closer to you. 

Chisaki bites your inner thigh. You yelp and squeeze too tight. Your cheek is white for a moment before a red handprint takes form and spreads across your face. You let go immediately, and your eyes burn with hot tears.

“I’m sorry Hari!” You apologize immediately, hands grasping in the air, searching for him.

“You love us don’t you?” Hari raises a thick brow, his hair inches closer to you.

“Of course I do!” You did love them. “I love the both of you!” You swallow the lump in your throat. “I’m sorry for hurting you Hari. Let me- let me make you feel better.” You smile at him.

“Overhaul,” Kurono looks over to Chisaki who is too busy examining your lower lips. His finger stops its tracing and he only glances up at Kurono. “I think she should kiss my cock.” 

Chisaki’s eyes widen. His eyes glance between you and Kurono before settling back to you weeping slit. “Don’t make a mess.” He tentatively licks your clit. “She’s always had a gag reflex.”

“Kurono please-” You stop and stare at him, your nose is pinched between his fingers. 

“You’re going to make me feel good right? Because you love us?” He stares at your mouth with hungry eyes, his member leaking precum and dripping down your cheek.

“Let me make you feel good.” Your voice is nasally. “Because I love you.” You're able to breathe regularly again.

Another harsh slap to your clit. “I love you too Kai. I love you so much.” Another slap. “Please Kai, make me feel good.” Kisses are pressed up and down your slit, the crown of black hair bobbing up and down as his tongue works you. 

Kurono’s length is inside of you. Your tongue swirls around it and a hand jerks off what you cannot fit. He shudders above you and holds your head, moving at a slow pace, his shaft hitting deeper and deeper with each thrust. His balls hit your chin and he holds you there, spit dribbles down and coats you both. He thrusts against your, his package hitting your chin with a wet slap. Your eyes sting and throat burns with the warning of bile. You tap against his thigh and plead with your eyes to stop. Your words bleed together but the word “mess” is still able to be made. He scoffs and slows his pace, inching his cock out of you. 

Chisaki works your slit quizzically. His tongue swipes over, moving your pearl around and sucking it into his mouth. 

"Ah! Kai!" His name is muffled and Kurono groans at the vibrations. Your pinch yours together and jerk your hips upwards. 

Your clit is nursed on, his tongue flicking around it while in his mouth all while you writhe and moan underneath him. Two fingers are pumping in and out your slit, wet sounds reaching your ears.

You bob your head around his cock, a rocking motion where you meet his cock and your cunt escapes the ravenous mouth of Chisaki, only for it to be assaulted again when he holds your hips down. 

Your arousal drips down his mouth and he's feasting on you like a hungry man, his tongue and fingers never leaving you. His face is buried in your cunt, and god, you want to fight against the waves of pleasure, hide that this feels good but you can feel yourself soak him. 

You moan against Kurono's shaft, hand pumping harder and cheeks hollowed- desperate for him to cum so you'd only have to worry about Chisaki. 

Your legs clasps together when Chisaki’s mouth finally leaves your aching clit. You shudder and want to hump the air. Your stomach is pained with the lack of release you haven’t allowed. You remember how angry Chisaki has gotten in the past when someone disobeyed him, you’ve seen what he does, and you don’t want to meet that fate.

Kurono removes himself from you, spit dribbles and splats on your chin. Your tongue wipes your lips and you stare at him through half lidded eyes.

Your legs are kneed apart, your cunt fully exposed and shivering with want. A hard member presses against the inner of your thigh and with slow, teasing movement, inserts itself inside of you, your pussy welcoming and squelching around him. 

Chisaki lays above you, his eyes staring into yours, as he fucks you, his cock pressing and hitting all the correct spots and you’re seeing stars. Your body betrays your mind, and begins to fuck him back, your pussy wrapping around him. He groans and bends his head down, hot air moistening your shoulder.

Kurono groans as he watches Chisaki fucks you raw. His hand working faster and rubbing down his package, pre-cum oozes out and stains the floor.

“You can have her after I’m down Chrono. Fuck,” Chisaki breathes out, his cock slamming into you.

"No Overhaul. You can have her cunt. I, however, would like the other."

Your eyes widen. You begin to shake your head when you hear a wet, squirting sound fill the room.

"No! No please Hari. Hari, take my cunt! Please Hari!" You sob and plead with him. "Hari, it'll hurt!"

"It won't hurt." A loving hand caresses your cheek. "I could never hurt you."

Chisaki holds you tight in his arms and flips over. Your hair falls to your face and Chisaki continues to pump into you, groaning and toying with your breasts. He kicks your legs open with his, placing them above, effectively trapping you. 

Cold, silky like lube coats your puckered. You sob and plead with Chisaki.

"Be careful with her." Chisaki warns, shushing you when you begin to cry. He combs your hair and coos into your muttering words of assurance.

"I will." Kurono probs a thin finger against your hole and you tense. He assures you everything is going to be alright, that he'll take good care of you. It swirls around you, and with a few more minutes of gentle massaging and the pleasure of Chisaki's cock, you begin to open up. A deep moan escapes from your throat and you wiggle above Chisaki.

"Another one, okay?" Another finger is added. They scissor against each other, massaging the soft walls. A hand runs your clit when you moan out, circling and providing a distraction from what's happening. "You're doing so well." Three fingers are inside. The thumb runs around and cool air is breathed onto you. The silky liquid covers you again. Clicking noises are filling the room and with a hiss, you let out a cry that soon turns to a moan. 

There's an added pressure behind you and Kurono's lips are pressed against the back of your head.

"You did so well. You took all of me with such ease." He shudders and you feel his cock twitch in you. "You're so tight. You have this vice grip on my cock." Your tears of shame and humiliation and have turned to those of pleasure.

Your body has finally convinced your mind to enjoy this. Your hump against them both, wet, clicking sounds are echoing in the room, your moans over taking them.

It's getting harder to breathe, the cocks inside of you are driving you insane, the pleasure makes you see stars and the knot in your stomach is coiling tighter. You can feel their cocks hit deep inside of you. 

"Oh god, oh fuck!" You moan. Your mouth is open wide in an unheated moan and saliva dribbles out of your mouth. 

Their cocks fit inside of you perfectly as if your body was just made for them. Your body shivers with the wave of your orgasm on the edge. 

“We love you,” Kurono kisses your back, “You know that right? You know that we’re doing this because we love you.” He bites your neck, his tongue swiping at the area when you flinch. “You feel so good. You’re so tight around my cock. Milking it for everything it’s got. You fucking slut.” He spits the words out at you, pressing feverish kisses down from your neck.

“You know, I might actually believe you when you said you hadn’t fucked him. You’re as tight as a virgin.” Chisaki’s cock works in and out of you, holding you tight against him as waves of pleasure courses through you. 

“I wasn’t lying to you Kai.” With shaky hands you cup his face, your thumbs running across his cheek bones. “I’d never lie to you or Hari. Oh god,” you moan out, the coil in your stomach tightening. “I love you two so much. So much, I promise,” you begin to cry. “I love you, I love you,” you repeat like a prayer, digging your nails into Kai’s biceps. 

"Tell us how it feels," Hari grunts. His mouth is pressed next to your ear. "Tell us how it feels, and we'll tell you." His nails are digging into your skin.

"It-" a moan interrupts you and you press your forehead against Kai's chest. You're breathing has turned ragged and it's all too much. "I feel so full. It's like I'm stuffed." Your mouth is watering. You press your lips against Kai's mouth and moan into him, hoping that the desperation will show. "I have two cocks in me all at once- I-I've never felt like this before." Words are spilling out of your mouth without much thought. "Please, go faster, please, Kai, please Hari. Fill me up." You tongue lolls out of your mouth. “It feels so good!”

“Your cunt is all swollen.” Kai’s voice is cold and laced with lust. “We’ve been working you too hard. I’m surprised you haven’t cummed yet.”

"You haven't told me to. I didn't want to disobey.” A choked out sob erupts from you when Hari’s fingers rub at your puffy clit, pinching it between his fingers and tugging on it. “Hari please, I’m already so sensitive, please Hari,” you beg, “please not too rough. Ah-ah, Hari, my clit,” you cry out. Tears slip down your cheeks and you’re already so close, the pressure building up inside of you is getting painful.

“You poor thing,” a hand smooths out your hair, “you must be in so much pain right now, hm?” A sharp smack fills the room. “You must really want my cum to fill up your tight little ass. Don’t worry, you’ll cum soon enough.” Hari shoves his fingers into your mouth and buries his cock in you deeper as you suck on his fingers as if it were lifeline.

The feeling of them both being inside of you is getting too much for you to handle. What once was a sharp pain that made you want to kick and scream, is now making your eyes roll to the back of your head with a desperate want of their cum inside of you. The tightness in your stomach is pulling you apart and aching to be released, it hurts so bad, it’s literally pulling you apart and you desperately want to cream over their cocks, you want to fucked until your limp and oozing cum out of your cunt. 

“Please let me cum, ah, I’ll be so good, I promise, just let me cum please,” you’re sobbing against Kai’s chest, it seems as if that’s all you’ve been doing the past hour, “let me cum, please, oh fuck!” 

A small nip at your collarbone is all the permission that you need. As if you were once again you were  once struck by Hari, your limbs fall and you still and for a brief second, your mouth is wide open with a pained gasp stuck in your throat, before your back arched and your legs are shaking, toes curled and hands dragging against the linens, nails clawing into them and bunching underneath your palms. Tears have blurred your vision and a mix of Hari and Kai’s name is jumbled between the mess that you are. Your waves of orgasm rushes throughout your body, creaming over Kai’s cock. You’re clenching around them both tightly as they continue to pump into you. Your body is exhausted, you’re fully spent and with your cunt still spasming and constricting around the men, they search for their own high, fucking deep int you you, their cocks in sync, little pinches to your clit when you lay flat and huff against Kai’s chest. You no longer plead for them to stop or to continue, all you can truly do right now is wait as they reach their own high, with hands touching every surface that they can, hands gripping at your breasts, tugging on your nipples, toying with your clit and hooking your mouth until your drooling. Kai’s nails dig into you and in the farthest depths of your mind you feel the blood that springs out, blending in with your bitten, bruised skin. 

They cry out your name at once, slew of curses leaving one mouth and grunts leaving the other. Their thrusts don’t lose speed or strength as they release into you, parallel kisses and bites are spread from your collar bones and your shoulder blades. You feel Hari’s cum first, how it fills you and the warmth of it soothes the aches and pains that reside in you. It seeps out and makes loud squelching noises when he continues to ride his high. His thrusts slow to a stop and he buries his cock in you, hips pressing harsh against your rear, cum spurting out and staying in place.

Kai’s cum, comes out all at once, thin strands that paint your gooey walls, covering every surface and filing you right. He keeps his cock buried inside of you, gyrating his hips to feel you squeeze him. He breathes harshly against your skin. His eyes are clouded and gazing at the ceiling, a dark blush sweeps across his face and his nails are still digging in your skin, holding you tight and ignoring the beads of scarlet that has begun to drip.

You cry out when Hari pulls out, and with a humiliating mewl, you hide your face when the cum spurts out, dripping down to your aching cunt.

With a growl, Kai pulls his cock out of you, your pussy follows suit, spewing out the cum in slow streams. You try to cup it with your hand, pushing the cum back inside, clamping your fingers together when it parts through the gaps, staining the bed.

The men stand above you, their cocks drained of all cum. Kai regards you with disgust when he  stares at the mess but with the way his cock begins to harden seeing the cum slip between his fingers, you guess that he isn’t all that pressed. Hari looks to be a bit smug and promptly dresses himself.

You stare up at them and for what must be the hundredth time in the past hour, you cry. Harsh sobs wrack through your body, you curl in on yourself and hug yourself, the cum stains your arms as you cry and feel your face flush with shame. You’re cold and you just want to go home.

“Shut up.” You don’t even know who said it but you know better to disobey.

You bite the inside of your cheeks and taste copper. 

“Remember that this is how real men treat you. How they make you feel.” You nod, waiting for them to continue. “I don’t ever want to hear about you’re fucking filth on the side.”

You nod numbly and wince when a thin sheet covers your body. There’s talk about getting you a spare change of clothes, about keeping a closer eye, about anything and through closed eyes, you feel lips press against your temple, little words of approval and praise sludge together and you mutter an “I love you,” and with a click of a switch, the room is enveloped in darkness and you fall into a deep slumber.

[vivithefolle]

About criticizing Hermione.

Personally I think Hermione should be criticized for everything that happened in the books, the facts speak of their own but there is a limit in how responsible a fictional character is for the actions the author made her do . It's not like she actually had her faith in her hands and she chose to be JKRs shelf-insert and make all her Shitty ideas her own.

Let's look at the bigger picture here, is Hermione realy being treated better than Ron from the phantom?

JKR trusted her characters to Kloves and he basically pimped Hermione. She is the most sexualized fictional character of the 21st century so far, he portraited her like an OP/sexi cosplay of the real Hermione. She became a top10 sex fantasy for every healthy and sick mind out there and JKR did nothing to stop It for like a decade.

Ron is being hated for being an 'unworthy' pair for her(actually they hate him just because he has Hermione) and she is being hated for choosing him and she must be punish for it. You said that if she was a boy everybody will call for his head on a plate and I apsolotly agree but she is a girl so they call for her vagina on a plate instead. This is how you punish an intelligent woman, you subdue her and then you sexualy demean her.

You know better than me what is happening in fanfiction. She's been paired with evreone from Harry to Hagrids dog and the giand squid. Hermione is a sex slave, a dominated toy, a sperm dumpster, a total slut, a cheating/cheated wife, she is been mercilessly raped and abused and portrayed like a young Bellatrix or umbridge.

She has earn as many nasty titles as Ron so I don't think her being a girl worked in her favor.

Unfortunately it seems there are a lot of people who think that Intelligence is a mark of higher character and superior maturity as you said but Hermione is not one of them. She is hanging around with Harry and Ron and his family not her 'intelectual equals' from Ravenqlaw book club and she is dating athletes not distinguished students. Intelligence isn't the most important thing for her and she never acted like different people are not worthy of her company or her attention. So let's not hold her accountable for those ridiculous ideas.

Anyway I don't know if I am ranting but I just believe Hermiones character has been damaged and shamed just as much as Rons has, just in bit of different way and she don't deserve extra hate because she is JKRs shelf-insert in the story.

That comment of yours 'Hermione is literally JKR' ruin my appetite for the day. I just imagine Ron doing things with her.... Buhh😫🤢

The major difference in fanfiction is that... many people legit think this is “better” for Hermione.

They write stories of her being abused by Big Bad OOC Ron and being rescued by heroic prince charmings like Harry, Draco, Snape, or whoever. And all the while, the shippers genuinely think this could be plausible.

They take this huge dump on Ron and everything he stands for as a character - your insecurities don’t define you; the people you love only ask for you to be there, not for you to always be a 5* badass; you don’t have to prove anything to anyone but yourself - then proceed to “reward” Hermione with the affections of someone they’ve deemed “worthy” of her.

Usually, a person with which Hermione finds herself in a more subservient position.

Harry Potter: Mr Save The World, super fucking rich, will forever outshine whoever marries him Draco Malfoy: aristocratic/nobility, super hella rich Lucius Malfoy (yes, Luciumione is very popular on AO3): same as above + MUCH older than Hermione Severus Snape: Potions prodigy who actually invented stuff while Hermione only ever stuck by the book, MUCH older than she is Viktor Krum: famous athlete, probably rich

And so on and so forth.

Many of the Hermione ships of the fandom have an inherent imbalance. When it comes to age gap ships like Snamione or Luciumione, people will justify themselves by saying “oh but Hermione is so mature for her age, she needs someone on her level!”

.......... I very much hope to never meet one of these people in real life.

Not only is Hermione nowhere as mature as what they believe she is but MATURITY DOESN’T MAKE UP FOR A GAP OF NEARLY TWO DECADES OF EXPERIENCE. (And can you imagine saying  “Hermione needs a mature man!” then pairing her with Snape, the teenager stuck in a grown man’s body? Talk about cognitive dissonance.)

Anyway, those ships usually take Hermione to pair her with, let’s say it in the worst possible way, a man of “more value” than her.

The Hero. An aristocrat. An older man and a teacher. A celebrity...

They’re not trying to look to match Hermione with an equal.

They’re trying to pair her with someone she can be subservient to.

Because as @lytefoot​ brilliantly put it:

A woman has to be all-around pretty good at everything, whereas a man has to be the absolute best in his area of greatest competence (surely better than any puny female!) with a help-meet there to compensate for his weaknesses. People are very, very uncomfortable when Ron and Hermione reverse this dynamic. Hermione is extremely intelligent and dedicated to intellectual pursuits, but is complete pants at things like self-care and people skills. Ron is bright enough to keep up with her and strong in her areas of weakness.

Even if Ron was as dumb as a sack of rocks (he’s not), his other virtues are more than enough to “justify” Hermione loving him. (Because she needs an excuse?) But no. A woman has to be with a man who outdoes her in her area of greatest strength.

But they’re completely convinced that they’re making a “better” match for Hermione because in their heads, they’ve convinced themselves that Ron’s “inferiority” (= his underrated qualities like his good heart, his humour, his patience (many of which are also coded as primarily feminine qualities); his poverty; his language; his tendency to stand up for himself even against his friends; his insecurity) is a sure sign he would be bad to Hermione. Because there are two types of people: those who are inferior and those who aren’t! /s

They sincerely believe they’re elevating Hermione when they’re using her as Harry/Draco/Snape/Aragog’s token to redemption/happiness. Because they genuinely think Hermione should be “rewarded” with a man that outclasses her in the aspects of her life she prides herself on (her studies, her academics, her social justice ambitions). At the same time, they build up this whole narrative about how Ron would “want her to be another Molly, barefoot and pregnant all the time” to convince themselves that they really are Good Little Feminists.

All in all: when people write Hermione as Snape’s sex kitten, they do it because they believe that’s the best thing that can happen to her. But when they write Ron to bash him, it’s because they genuinely hate him. They want the worst to happen to him. They delight in his misery. They love it. Because they’re so blinded by their own lies and so convinced that “hurmion 2 gud 4 ron durrhurrhurr” that they think he deserves the most painful, humiliating things to happen to him.

That’s the difference. People pair Hermione with the most horrible people out of blind adoration for her. Those same people bash Ron as retribution for “defiling” their goddess.

The kind of “Hermione bashing” you refer to is done out of good sentiments. But Ron? He doesn’t get that sort of bashing; he’s reviled and hated for things he didn’t even do, because people can’t fucking comprehend that just because he acted badly at times doesn’t mean those actions define him. The bashing comes out of hatred and an unfounded, unfair desire for “justice” that is unwarranted in the first place.

That’s why I turn the tables and judge Hermione with the fandom’s absolutely impossible standards they only seem to apply to Ron and a select few others (Dumbledore, some of the Weasleys). To prove that no fucking human being could even hope to dream to meet those standards.

[fatliberation]

Now seems like the perfect time to repost something I once wrote to someone who told me they were feeling ugly:

The body positivity movement has largely failed because it teaches everyone that they are beautiful, which places the emphasis on appearance being the most meaningful thing. That the most important thing is to be desired by others. First of all, I know that that’s bullshit. We should be practicing radical self acceptance rather than striving for the approval of others. There is so much more to us than our bodies. Our hearts and minds are worth the world. It shouldn’t matter what’s on the outside.

What I do appreciate though, is normalizing body diversity. Celebrating your body the way it is. But we really can’t escape the “do other people find me attractive?” mindset, because our society is SO focused on bodies and the way we view relationships is very driven by physical attraction. So I’m going to reassure you that being desired is not something you should worry about. Instead of telling you that you’re beautiful, I’m going to tell you that it’s okay to be ugly.

I’ll start by using Freddie Mercury as an example.

Freddie Mercury did not fit into western beauty standards by any means. He was slight and stringy, a bit short, extremely hairy, had a double crown, a bald patch, a prominent brow, an aquiline nose, a boxy jaw, and of course, had a highly notable overbite and protruding teeth. By today’s standards, Freddie would be considered ugly. Yet he was one of the biggest sex symbols in pop culture history. And still, millions of people celebrate and find beauty in his unique features.

Which proves an opinion I’ve held for a long time now.

Ugliness doesn’t exist. It just doesn’t. It’s only a label that was put on people that don’t fit in to yet another supremacy group. A group that believes one set of standards are the ideal, that praises that ideal and shames anything that looks different. The system makes us feel terrible about our bodies, it profits off of our insecurities, so we cover up, we buy makeup and go on diets our whole lives and scrape ourselves shaving, and even pay for body-altering surgery just to be accepted, and yes! We’ve normalized it, but that is some fucked up shit!! I want you to know that you can just BE. It’s okay. It’s okay to be ugly. The word has no real meaning. Niether does beauty. It’s only the opinion of someone that can’t deem you worthy of unworthy of anything. Not love, not appreciation, not respect. You decide those things. Only you can determine your self worth. The right people will be drawn to you! In reality, people are attracted to all kinds of diverse body types and features, despite what society tells us is acceptable! I know I am! Honestly, I think people are just afraid to admit it! You can’t stop people from having tastes that deter from the norm - it’s just human nature! Think of everyone who has said they find Freddie’s “bad” teeth adorable and handsome! They mean it!! If Freddie’s flaws can be celebrated, so can yours. Beauty is so personal, it has no real qualifications, and if anyone disagrees, then their thinking is deeply anchored by racist, lookist, weight-biased, and impossible western ideals. Your physical flaws? Those aren’t really flaws, they’re natural. And embracing them in this white perfection-obsessed society is punk rock as fuck.

We’ve been brainwashed into thinking “ugly” means unsightly - what it really means is different than the supremacist ideal!

You are more than your body! It’s wonderful just the way it is! Rise above those who fail to see your uniqueness without judgement. You are LOVEABLE for a million reasons.

Ugly rights!! 🤘

[divinelydeanna]

The Shadow

Time and time again, we may find ourselves turning down a dark road of emptiness, and self sabatoge.

 All experience /shadow work, suffering, addictions, is to make the unconscious conscious, and guide us to dive deep into new somatic territory, open new neurological pathways, to create new circuitry of self love and to experience deep intimacy.. 
 
Awareness and proper framing of what's going on is crucial.
The 'Psychic Winds of Change' blow through our Minds can be crazy fast and volatile , and at any moment may not be showing any signs of slowing down just yet. 

Exploring Unchartered territory , spiritual healing modalities, can open new neurological pathways , create new circuitry of self love and to experience deep intimacy if we are willing to do the work. Otherwise it is spiritual bypassing. 


We all have demons inside us. Every day, we fight against them – sometimes we lose, sometimes we win.

These demons haunting us can be seen either in small glimpses or in full chaos. And because of our guilt and shame, we tend to ignore and bury them.

We think that they should stay hidden because they cannot and should not exist in our conscious self. The society tells us to focus on the good things like love and light, but never the darkness or shadow.

However, when we focus only on the “light”, it doesn’t reach to the depths of our being. It just feels like superficially hanging on a warm and fuzzy thing.

“Positive thinking is simply the philosophy of hypocrisy – to give it the right name. When you are feeling like crying, it teaches you to sing. You can manage if you try, but those repressed tears will come out at some point, in some situation. There is a limitation to repression. And the song that you were singing was absolutely meaningless; you were not feeling it, it was not born out of your heart.” – Osho

Inside every one of us are darker problems that exist. In order to touch the very depths of our being, we must be ready to explore our buried self through shadow work.

Here are the basic things you need to know about shadow work:

Beneath the social mask we wear every day, we have a hidden shadow side: an impulsive, wounded, sad, or isolated part that we generally try to ignore. The Shadow can be a source of emotional richness and vitality, and acknowledging it can be a pathway to healing and an authentic life. – Steve Wolf

First, we must define what is a “shadow”.

In the field of psychology, a shadow is a term used to refer to the parts within us that we may try to hide or deny. The name was originally coined and explored by Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, Carl Jung.

It comprises of the aspects of our personality that we tend to deem shameful, unacceptable, ugly. It can be envy, jealousy, rage, lust, desire for power or the wounds incurred in childhood – all of those we keep hidden. Jung believes that when the human Shadow is shunned, it tends to sabotage our lives. Repressing or suppressing one’s shadow can result in addictions, low self-esteem, mental illness, chronic illnesses, and various neuroses.

“Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.”– Carl Jung

You can learn to identify and work with your shadow self so that you can reach your goals and live your best life.

For many people, denying their inner self is the path they usually choose, but as you’ll see here, we are big fans of accepting who you really are and working with that, while choosing strategic thoughts and emotions in order to continue to move forward. Transformation, which so many of us are looking for, does not come from a place of denial. It comes from a place of acceptance. While you might not think it is possible to find your way to the “dark side” and come out a better person, we are here to tell you, it is.

“Man needs difficulties; they are necessary for health.” – Carl Jung

Here are 8 ways to practice shadow work:

1. Believe you are worthy and that things will get better

The first step in overcoming your shadow self and taking back your life is to acknowledge that you are worthy of good things.

When we are feeling low it is easy to continue to feel that way. Humans have an uncanny ability to feel sorry for themselves, and sometimes that is all we want to do and it serves its purpose.

But sometimes, that self-pity takes hold of us and makes it very difficult for us to get out of the rut and get back to our normal routines, or even better, our best self.

The key is learning to love yourself.

However, in this day and age practicing self love is hard.

Why?

Because society conditions us to find ourselves through our relationships with others. That the true path to happiness and fulfillment is to find love with someone else

I recently came to understand that this is an extremely unhelpful standard.

People living regular lives

What I discovered is that the relationship I have with myself is mirrored in my relationship with others. Therefore, it was very important for me to develop a better relationship with myself.

“If you do not respect your whole, you cannot expect to be respected as well. Don’t let your partner love a lie, an expectation. Trust yourself. Bet on yourself. If you do this, you will be opening yourself to be really loved. It’s the only way to find real, solid love in your life.”

2. Pay attention to the emotions you feel

No emotions are bad.

Our negative emotions are portals into the shadow. They help us determine our wounds and fears.

When you feel an emotion, take a minute to examine it. Ask yourself the following questions:

What am I feeling?

Why am I feeling this?

Wait for answers.

Don’t be frustrated if the answers do not come right away. Sometimes, the answers need time to be found and you’ll know it.

Never force answers and jump into conclusion because they might be the wrong ones. Shadow work is considered soul work and it happens on its own timeline. Just be patient and know that in time, the answers will come.

This steps simply means to accept what comes up for you, when it comes up, and acknowledge that you are an emotional being that may, from time to time, find it difficult to manage your emotions.

If you are working to tame your shadow self, then you’ll be paying attention to these moments so that you can stay with them, rather than try to run from them.

So many people simply want to feel better in the moments where we feel the greatest amount of discomfort, but if we can stay with our emotions, name them and be grateful for them, we can overcome them and move on to better things.

The better life is not created by not experiencing those emotions, but by experiencing all of them with gratitude.

RELATED: I was deeply unhappy…then I discovered this one Buddhist teaching

3. Identify the shadow

Our shadows are located in our subconscious. We buried them there that’s why it’s tricky to identify it.

n order to perform shadow work, we need to identify the shadow. The first step is to become aware of the recurrent feelings that you always feel. Identifying these patterns will help highlight the shadow.

Some common shadow beliefs are:

I am not good enough.

I am unloveable.

I am flawed.

My feelings are not valid.

I must take care of everyone around me.

Why can’t I just be normal just like others?

4. Investigate your feelings objectively and with compassion

t’s hard to do shadow work objectively and with compassion. It’s easier to investigate and blame other people why you end up that way.

On the other hand, understanding why the people who hurt you acted in a particular way is hard to accept. But in order to heal ourselves, we must forgive those who hurt us in order to move on.

Try to navigate that they did the best they could do at that time or were simply acting from their own wounds.

It’s also easy to feel bad about yourself for having these negative feelings. But there’s no reason to feel bad. We all experience negative emotions. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t.

It’s important to accept our negative emotions and be okay with them.

According to philosopher Alan Watts, Carl Jung was the kind of man who could feel something negative and not be ashamed about it:

“[Jung] was the sort of man who could feel anxious and afraid and guilty without being ashamed of feeling this way. In other words, he understood that an integrated person is not a person who has simply eliminated the sense of guilt or the sense of anxiety from his life – who is fearless and wooden and kind of sage of stone. He is a person who feels all these things, but has no recriminations against himself for feeling them.” – Alan Watts

5. Focusing on your breathing

How much attention do you pay to the way you breathe?

If you’re like most people, then probably not a lot. We usually just let our body do the job and completely forget about it.

I think this is one of our biggest mistakes.

Because when you breathe, you produce energy for your body and psyche. This has a direct connection to your sleep, digestion, heart, muscles, nervous system, brain and mood.

But the quality of your breathing doesn’t depend only on the quality of the air — it depends much more on how you breathe.

That’s why many spiritual traditions pay so much attention to breath. And focusing on your breathing is a key technique they use to help people explore, and ultimately conquer, their shadow self.

6. Explore the shadow

Psychologists use art therapy as a way to help patients explore their inner selves. It is because art is a great way to allow your Shadow to manifest itself. Here are some ways to express the shadow:

Journaling

When you write, it allows you to feel emotions and empty your head of the thoughts rumbling around. It’s like magic – even when you write thoughts that have no sense. Just write whatever comes to mind because you can’t do it wrong.

Write a letter

Write a letter to yourself or to those who hurt you. You don’t have to actually send the letter, just let all your feelings out.

Tell the person in mind what you feel and why you feel it. Writing a letter will validate yourself and your emotions. You can burn the letter after you write it as a symbolic release.

Meditate

In meditation, we gain insights about why we feel certain ways. It helps us understand and objectively delve deeper about our emotions, then allow ourselves to heal.

One example is forgiveness meditation. You can picture a person who hurt you in your mind and say, “May you be happy, may you be at peace, may you be free of suffering.”

Recommended reading: A spiritual master explains why you can’t meditate properly (and what to do instead)

Feel

You will never heal unless you allow yourself to face the emotion you’re scared of. So explore them, write about them and make art out of them.

To experience yourself as a whole, loved, and lovable, you need to own up to your emotions.

Dreams

Our thoughts and deepest emotions can come out in dreams, according to Jung. When you experience a dream, write down what occurred immediately so you don’t forget.

By understanding your dreams, you might understand more about yourself.

“The dream is the small hidden door in the deepest and most intimate sanctum of the soul, which opens to that primeval cosmic night that was soul long before there was conscious ego and will be soul far beyond what a conscious ego could ever reach.” – Carl Jung

However, Jung says that it’s important to understand that one dream by itself might not mean much, but patterns from multiple dreams might:

“An obscure dream, taken by itself, can rarely be interpreted with any certainty, so that I attach little importance to the interpretation of single dreams. With a series of dreams we can have more confidence in our interpretations, for the later dreams correct the mistakes we have made in handling those that went before. We are also better able, in a dream series, to recognize the important contents and basic themes.” – Carl Jung

Remember that the shadow thrives in secret but they are part of who you are. Bring the hidden parts of yourself to light and bathe them in self-love and acceptance.

Sometimes, the process hurts but it will make you a better person. Keep in mind: When it comes down to getting what you want, you have to not only confront your inner darkness but embrace it.

Rather than try to turn it off when you feel the shadow self-rearing its ugly head, allow yourself to feel it and be curious about it.

In some cases, you might find that it serves you, especially when you are trying to protect yourself from things that might otherwise threaten your higher self.

When you tap into your shadow self properly, it can be a powerful alter ego that can help you manage trying situations.

It’s when you let it rule your life, or pretend you don’t have a shadow self that problems persist.

7. Nurture your inner child

Our childhood traumas can be caused by the way we were parented or other people who hurt us. It can result in deep wounds that can create behavioral and emotional patterns that create our personality.

Most of the time, our childhood wounds are the most painful. They haunt us and tell us we’re not worthy of love, or that our feelings are wrong, or that we have to take care of everything because nobody was around to take care of us.

Nurturing your inner child involves traveling back in time to when you were hurt and give yourself love. You can do this by:

Go back to the time in your life when you felt most vulnerable.

It can be a scene where you got hurt or a time in your life when you felt vulnerable. Hold that image of yourself in your mind. Stay aware, taking in any messages that arise during that time.

Give the younger you compassion

While reliving the moment, give love to your younger self. Tell yourself, “I love you and I’m here for you. It will be okay, it’s not your fault and you did nothing to deserve this.” You can also give a hug to your younger self.

One thing is for sure when doing shadow work, it is uncomfortable, to say the least. Who would enjoy owning up to their flaws, weaknesses, selfishness, hate, and all the negative emotions they feel? Nobody.

But while focusing on our positive side is enjoyable and boosts our confidence, shadow work can help us grow and develop into a better version of ourselves.

Jung writes in the book Psychology and Alchemy, “There is no light without shadow and no psychic wholeness without imperfection.”

With shadow work, we become whole to live a more authentic and fulfilling life.

Recommended reading:

7 steps to heal your inner child.

Recommended Therepy : inner child Hypnotherapy, Family Constillations, Sound Healing, Earth magnetism Nature, Fasting, Mirroring, EFT, Resurecction Therepy, Heart Coherence Frequency, Deep tissue manipulation, infrared saunas, fasting, 1stSun. Kundalini Meditation , Mantras, ecstatic dance, Qi gong, vibrational machines, resurrection therepy.

Written by:DeannaCook and is free under the Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 License
(http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/) you may freely copy, distribute, blog, or post it anywhere, so long as the work is attributed to "deannalcook", and the text is unaltered.

[ourrightside]

10 Reasons Why Carrie Bradshaw Wasn’t THAT Bad...

Sex and the City is the most elite series I’ve ever watched - and I was so excited to purchase the first season when I turned 18.

I would listen to my mom and my sister gossip about the show when I was younger and feel so left out. But, my mom would refuse to let me watch it until I became an adult. Thank god.

Being an avid fan now, I sometimes scan through Sex and the City articles on the net, and can’t help but notice dozens of articles filled with ‘Carrie’ slander - which kind of makes me nervous.

Although it was true that years ago girls were labeling themselves as the ‘Carrie’, ‘Samantha’ and ‘Charlotte’ of the group - the serious and less glamorous friend got stuck with being a ‘Miranda’; it is kind of an insult now to be deemed as a Carrie. 

As we all matured, we realized that being a Miranda is amazing and we should all strive to be just as successful - but Carrie Bradshaw is still a valid character and I’m here to prove why the “sexual anthropologist” is not all that bad. 

Now before I dive into why I totally get Carrie Bradshaw, I would just like to point out before hand that I am aware that she is just a fictional character and hopefully you are too. If you are not informed, then I apologize for this harsh revelation. However, let’s continue. 

1. She was average looking

While we can all agree that her physique only gets stronger and leaner throughout the series, she was still not exactly perfect looking. Despite her fit body, she was not model like or necessarily tall. She did not have a perfect nose. She did not have the biggest ‘lady parts’. She did not have the plumiest lips. She did not have perfect facial symmetry.

But, she was okay with it. And has mentioned that by the age of 30, she was over being uncomfortable with her looks and decided to move on.

Despite constantly bumping into models and having to accept that men can be total “modelizers” - especially in the capital of the world aka manhattan, she chose to embrace her natural beauty, which in turn has allowed her to walk the runway in her underwear.

2. She was selfish 

Yes, the new trend is to be selfish and say no - because that is ‘self love’.

If that truly is the case, then there was no denying then that Carrie was selfish throughout the series.

As human beings, we are selfish by nature. But since we now identify ourselves in societies with expected norms and values, being selfish disqualifies you sometimes from your environment. To avoid being lonely, we try to let go of being selfish or at least hide our selfish traits.

Unfruitfully so, our selfish instincts at times fail us - exposing our true colors. And whenever that happens, people aren’t too afraid of pointing out what you did wrong. It doesn’t make us necessarily evil, just makes us human.

To avoid being Freudian in this post, let’s just sum up that Carrie is harmlessly selfish at times - that includes being late to every event, asking her friend Susan Sharon if she could trade in her cashmere sweater birthday gift for cash, accepting a pair of 600$ shoes from her other super rich friend, and cutting off Charlotte’s possible infertility problem discussion to talk about her Manolos.

The list goes on, I mean - this is just classic Bradshaw behavior. However, this character cannot be deemed as bad. She was just under the spotlight, and if we were under it too, we would find out that we do have these moments as well without realizing it. We are not perfect. However, Carrie does reflect on her mistakes often, which is something we should be doing more. 

Sometimes, her selfish tendencies can really get out of hand. 

It was not okay when she got angry at Charlotte who did not offer to lend her money after she blew it all off on Manolo Blahnik shoes instead of rent. It was not okay when she threw away Aiden down the drain. It was not okay when she slept with a married man, even if it was ‘Mr. Big’.

We cannot shame her though because we all have hidden skeletons in our closets...it’s up to you however to peak in and see which faults make it or break it for you. 

3. She was a working woman 

No offense to chastity ball princess Charlotte, who wanted to be a housewife to any rich man who crossed path with her, Carrie Bradshaw was by all means an ‘all star’ business woman. Despite being unconventional unlike Samantha Jones (PR executive) and Miranda Hobbes (Harvard-graduate Lawyer), Carrie Bradshaw was a restless woman that worked in multiple fields all at once despite being so undermined.

She had so many tasks to tackle all at once while juggling multiple projects. She ran around between the fields of Journalism, Content Marketing and Public Relations. She was able to get invited into all the ‘fabulous’ events and meetings because of the hard work she invested in all by herself as a freelancer who lived in a huge place like New York. Carrie finally reached her goal at the age of 40, which was working at Vogue. She even wrote multiple books as well.

4. She was unconventional

Despite the show running in the early 90s, Carrie Bradshaw decided to be a sex columnist. She never gave up on her weird unconventional job and was proud of her career despite the looks or comments people would make. She had a weird exterior in addition to how upfront she was about the physical makings of life.

In addition, Carrie did not believe in marriage until she became a fiancée at the age of 40. She traded in a ring for a pair of shoes and a walk-in closet, unlike most women, who would rather get married in their mid 20 to early 30s with a huge rock on their finger. 

5. She was struggling at adulting

Carrie Bradshaw had a deluded concept of adulting that at least most of us had or still struggle with. She was not a healthy adult with financial stability and a well thought out regime. However, she still managed to be fabulous.

She had poor dieting habits, which made her sometimes skip dinner to buy Vogue instead. She believed that shopping and gossiping were the best types of cardio. She was not the cleanest and had a messy apartment at most times. She did not care about the way her living space looked like, which she later on freaked out about in fear of being judged as an imperfect adult according to Mr Big. She paid so much on shoes that she could no longer afford her rent. She believed that investments must be seen in her closet. She drank at least six dollars worth of coffee per day. She would smoke and drink way too much for a thirty year old woman.

6. She was a good friend

Carrie Bradshaw had so many friends that it almost put her PR bestie Samantha to shame. To be honest, Carrie may have not been a perfect friend, but she was as good as it gets realistically.

What made her so realistic in her friendships was her ability to be there for most of her friends’ hardships. She had her ups and downs with her empowered female group because sometimes they would feel like she was too problematic and vice versa. For the most part, it is impossible to be as passionate to your friends as you once were the first time you guys met. But what makes a friend a good one is that they never voluntarily try to find excuses to leave you behind.

Carrie’s love towards her friends in her good and bad times showed that she valued them like family. 

7. She was lost

Carrie was probably more lost than she would have liked to be. She had a tendency to dwell on what should have been and could have been. We all have regrets and sometimes she voiced hers out more than other characters within the show. She would sometimes yearn over the years that passed by her. She even went to extremes such as dating a college boy just to remember what it was like to ‘just kiss’. Rookie Mistake, Carrie.

Just like Carrie, as time goes by at any age, we look back at the spur of events that created our timeline and take note sometimes of which events we deem as either life-changing, traumatizing or both.

8. She was experimental 

She may not have been as promiscuous as her friend Samantha, but she was unarguably adventurous in all aspects of her life. Although the most obvious aspect may have been her outfits, her wild colors and funny textural accessories were just a preview on how eccentric Carrie Bradshaw truly was. She mentioned that her younger years were a genuine pursuit of fun in every shape or form, which most twenty-something-year-olds cannot deny.

She emphasized that she fears living life as a cautious person because of the hurt she has endured. However, she truly defined throughout the show what it means to be eccentric, empowering the ones who fail the experiments of life to get back on their feet. 

9. She was flawed

Carrie Bradshaw believed in the glass half full rather than half empty throughout the series. Despite being unbearably flawed to the point where her friends no longer wanted to listen to her problems, she decided to see a shrink which is something that would have been especially socially-unacceptable in the 90s. Carrie still overcame her mental issues and found other remedies which in turn has led her into accepting the way things played out. 

As we grow up, we, like Carrie, need a little bit of help in order to realize that temporary issues will fade away into lessons and the permanent ones that are out of our control can be accessorized into our lives accordingly to the way that we want it to look like.

10. She was in love

Her love towards Mr Big was illogical - almost completely insane. But what made her character so special was the fact that she never continued her relationship with Aiden because she knew deep down that it was Mr Big all along and never gave up on it; despite all the signs that kept telling her that he was bad for her. He was at the time indeed bad news, which made her feelings towards him fluctuate between love and hate.

Now, the psychology behind her and Mr Big does not justify why you should call your ex right now so put your phone down, but it is something to think about. 

Carrie took the road not taken for most women, especially during the 90s where gender roles in love where still a bit rigid. While it is true that it is always easier to date lovers who make the effort to chase you rather than pursuing it yourself, the easiness does not create the ‘fairytale love’ that most of us strive for.

Carrie once described her love towards him as a crash rather than a crush. But if something deep down is telling you that someone is your person, shouldn’t that account for something? Shouldn’t we all just go for ‘ ridiculous, inconvenient, time-consuming can’t-live-without-each-other love’, and get it right just like she did?

- Nina xx (yasminasayyid)

[beautifuljuleisha]

Images of Females Advertising Dove

Dove has been around for decades since the 1950’s and it has changed its marketing style since launched. Dove in the beginning had only white faces and today its very diverse. Dove now aims towards diversity and produces products for different skin types. Within the last two decades the brand has promoted positive body image, became more diverse in terms of ethnicity, gender, and race. From the beginning where the models were white and thin until present time, where we have a host of many beautiful shades and sizes of women. 

“The Use of Black Models in Advertising” This article was published in 1971, the article was about the reasons why black models are used for advertising. According to the article black models are used in marketing to sell products to black people. After the civil rights movement and new laws created in the legislature, marketers had to prepare for a new world in which black people would have a voice and more money to buy their products. As well as whites realizing that “black money” is the same as “white money”, both are green; so, with that realization, white businessman became smarter and began marketing black people in positive light for profit.

In the 1950’s concerning size, women were more concerned about having a slim figure, the ‘ideal’ size for attracting a man; Most ads you see on tv or in the magazines/newspapers in the 20th century would be of a slender sized woman, in addition, everyone was attracted to that size. Most of the advertising from the 50’s to the 70’s lacked people of color and of plus sized. I noticed that they choose light skinned black women over dark-skinned black women. As time passed, they began implementing dark skinned women. Marketers usually produced what they felt would sell and what attracts people to buy their products. The secret to advertising is subliminal messaging; subliminal messages is to gain favor with the consumer you’re targeting. For instance, if marketers placed more curvier women in their ads the world would be more accepting.

The early 2000’s Mo’nique (comedian/actress) sort of pushed away the fat shaming when she glorified her size. Mo’nique made ‘fat’ girls feel more beautiful and accepted. In 2005 She hosted the first televised beauty competition and boot camp for full-sized women “F.A.T. Chance,” on the Oxygen station. Mo’nique encouraged other plus size women to love the body they’re in and that they too are normal. “With its debut in 2005 it was the highest-rated original show in the company’s history, and in the second season it had a total of 4.8 million viewers for the premiere and its encores” (Luckily, There’s Plenty of Her for Everybody). There's a market for plus sized women just as there is for ‘regular’ sized women. The views on that show proved that people are interested in a plus sized/curvy woman's lifestyle also people support the body images. The ratings definitely boosted confidence in other plus sized women. Everyone comes in different sizes and should love every inch of themselves and only change for themselves, and of course for a healthier you. “Women are more than the labels that are given to us, they're more than an age, more than a size, more than a name...” (Dressbarn Launches an Empowering Campaign Starring Ashley Graham).

You’d be surprised the amount of negativity and pressure women endure daily, in terms of body image. Super model Tyra Banks has been shunned for her body a few times in her modeling career. It has become so bad that it took a toll on her career.  “Banks said her desire to be her own boss came from rejection she faced for her skin color and curvier figure, which she said was not desirable in the world of high-fashion modeling. “Me being a boss came from pain,” she said. “Being told no you can’t.” ...” Those experiences “created in me an empathy for women and physical discrimination,” (Tyra Banks on Body Shaming in the Fashion Industry: ‘My Pain Turned Me Into a Boss’). Banks kicked off her own show “Americas Next top Model”, there she featured models of many sizes and ethnicity's. She also featured women who were more on the heavy side, also known as ‘plus sized’. Banks also bridged the way of women flaunting, loving their bodies no matter their size. “Body-positive advertisements often feature individuals helping others recognize their inner beauty, and these images of support and kindness could potentially evoke elevation in audiences” (Feeling Bad About Feel-Good Ads: The Emotional and Body-Image Ramifications of Body-Positive Media).

In 2017, Dove offered a Nigerian lady Lola Ogunyemi, to be the face of a new body wash campaign. Lola was excited for the Opportunity, stated, “Having the opportunity to represent my dark-skinned sisters in a global beauty brand felt like the perfect way for me to remind the world that we are here, we are beautiful, and more importantly, we are valued” (I am the woman in the 'racist Dove ad'. I am not a victim), however the commercial sparked a lot of negative backlash due to the content of the advertisement. Due to all the negative comments and controversy around the ad, it was removed, and Dove apologized if they came off as ‘racist’. Besides the backlash the brand has received, I thought it was a great opportunity for Dove to display a dark-skinned person and show the world that dark skin women are real, and beautiful.

“I know that the beauty industry has fueled this opinion with its long history of presenting lighter, mixed-race or white models as the beauty standard. Historically, and in many countries still today, darker models are even used to demonstrate a product’s skin-lightening qualities to help women reach this standard” (I am the woman in the 'racist Dove ad'. I am not a victim).

Although women are still body shamed and go to extreme measures to get the ‘perfect’ body Dove has launched a “Real Beauty campaign”, encouraging people all over the world to flaunt their imperfections and love themselves. “...viewing body-positive advertisements, as compared to traditional beauty ads, sparks stronger emotional responses, including both positive and negative emotions” (Feeling Bad About Feel-Good Ads: The Emotional and Body-Image Ramifications of Body-Positive Media). Under the Real Beauty campaign is the “Self Esteem Project”, “According to the research, 61% of girls between the ages of 10 and 17 in the U.K. lack confidence and body esteem, while nine in 10 girls with low body esteem are likely to put their health at risk trying to conform to what they believe is expected of them. Dove is spending 1.5 million pounds on the campaign, which also offers free advice and support around the issues of self-esteem on the Dove web site” (Dove spearheads ‘Self Esteem Project’ to salute and honor real girls). Dove works with non-professional models to help with the campaign to help build positive body confidence in the girls.  

Over the past few years Dove has been pushing towards more diversity and knocking out beauty stereotypes. Dove works with people nationwide from infants to elderly people from shades of lighter skinned to shades of darker skins. Big, small, short, tall, slim, hefty, you name it, all types of people. People with physical disabilities, skin conditions i.e, vitiligo. People with ‘bad’ acne, crooked teeth, missing teeth, birth marks, nappy hair, straight hair, short hair, long hair, locked hair, a whole variation of people. Size and color of skin doesn’t define you, when you look at yourself in the mirror you should love every inch of yourself, and if weight is an issue that bothers you, get in the mind set of changing your weight. I just want everyone to know we all are beautiful in our own way.

On their website, Dove welcomes everyone and gives you a feel of comfort that purchasing their product would be one of the best decisions you’ve made in terms of beauty. “Welcome to Dove…the home of real beauty. For over a decade, we've been working to make beauty a source of confidence, not anxiety, and here's where the journey continues. Beauty is not defined by shape, size or color – it’s feeling like the best version of yourself. Authentic. Unique. Real. Which is why we’ve made sure our site reflects that. Every image you see here features women cast from real life. A real life version of beauty...” (Dove). Dove is displaying that there are different forms of beauty.

I love the approach that Dove has taken, it’s allowing the younger generations to see that they are beautiful and that the models they see on tv are superficial, yet the models are beautiful as well. Society has deemed being ‘fat’ to be ugly! Being darker skinned to be ‘ugly’! Being gay abnormal! The beauty campaign of Dove has helped millions recognize that you can look pretty without any makeup and you can love yourself no matter what condition you’ve been diagnosed with. You can still relate to others because we all have imperfections.

Society today has left many of us questioning our true selves. "Am I too fat?", "Am I really ugly?" , "Will I be accepted regardless of my sexual orientation?". Despite pondering our insecurities, DOVE has helped many people like you & me recognize our natural beauty. From my personal experience, using DOVE has made my skin feel so radiantly beautiful which has reflected beauty in my self image. Using DOVE has not only allowed me to recognize the beauty in myself but also in the beauty that would open up to those around me. The DOVE campaign demonstrates a relatively natural use of soap that encompasses beauty and self-image. This soap has a diverse ability to help make us appreciate both our physical and mental forms.   

References

Kraus, A., & Myrick, J. G. (2018). Feeling Bad About Feel-Good Ads: The Emotional and Body-Image Ramifications of Body-Positive Media. Communication Research Reports, 35(2), 101–111. https://doi-org.libserv-prd.bridgew.edu/10.1080/08824096.2017.1383233

JOHN J. WHEATLEY. The Use of Black Models in Advertising. Journal of Marketing Research, [s. l.], v. 8, n. 3, p. 390, 1971. DOI 10.2307/3149585. Disponível em: http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=edsjsr&AN=edsjsr.10.2307.3149585&site=eds-live. Acesso em: 26 nov. 2019.

“Dove Spearheads 'Self Esteem Project' to Salute and Honor Real Girls.” Los Angeles Times, Los Angeles Times, 27 Dec. 2017, https://www.latimes.com/fashion/la-ig-wwd-dove-self-esteem-project-20171227-story.html.

Lee, Felicia R. “Luckily, There's Plenty of Her for Everybody.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 5 Aug. 2007, https://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/05/arts/television/05lee.html.

Lopez, Ricardo. “Tyra Banks on Body Shaming in the Fashion Industry: 'My Pain Turned Me Into a Boss'.” Variety, 6 June 2018, https://variety.com/2018/film/news/tyra-banks-on-body-shaming-in-the-fashion-industry-my-pain-turned-me-into-a-boss-1202834241/.

Ogunyemi, Lola. “I Am the Woman in the 'Racist Dove Ad'. I Am Not a Victim | Lola Ogunyemi.” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 10 Oct. 2017, https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/oct/10/i-am-woman-racist-dove-ad-not-a-victim.

“Welcome to Dove.” Dove US, https://www.dove.com/us/en/home.html.

Williams, Lashauna, and Lashauna Williams. “Dressbarn Launches an Empowering Campaign Starring Ashley Graham.” InStyle.com, 7 Dec. 2019, https://www.instyle.com/fashion/ashley-graham-dressbarn-more-than-a-name-campaign.

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Worst of 2019 (So Far)

And now we get to the opposite of yesterday’s post: the worst of what we’ve seen so far. Time to give them a proper thrashing before they (hopefully) fade into obscurity. Disappointingly, there's a general lack of films that were bad but in an interesting way. Mostly, it’s either been the same sorta dreck we usually get with a couple of unusually offensive stories and a couple of soul-crushingly bad superhero flicks. Curious? Read on.

10. Serenity

I like to save my #10 spot on the “Worst of” list for a movie that has a chance of becoming a favorite among those who love bad movies. Serenity is competently enough made that it does not belong in the same category as The Identical or Runaway. It’s another kind of bad movie, the kind that baffles anyone who sees it and who will have film historians scratching their heads in the future. It’s not quite on the same level as 2017’s “The Book of Henry” but close. Top-notch actors at the top of their career in a story so poorly conceived it would’ve been brilliant if it weren’t awful and utterly absurd.

The revelation that everything we've been seeing is actually part of a video game programmed by an angry teen who hates his abusive father, and that his actions are tied to those of Matthew McConaughey's character is the kind of nutty decision someone at some point should've questioned. My advice? Surprise some unsuspecting friends with it. Periodically pause the movie so they can write down how they think it'll all fit together and then watch their faces as they're proved wrong.

9. After

I’m not going to remember After down the line so this is my opportunity to give it another flogging. I can’t believe fan-fictions of real people is a real thing and that one of them was deemed legitimate and popular enough to be turned into a movie. It plays out like the clone of a clone of a clone of Twilight. At least that movie had danger in the form of vampires and werewolves. This has nothing to offer except embarrassing drama and a prepubescent’s idea of what romance and love look like. I saw it in the theater with a friend and thank goodness she was there; it made what would've been a chore... slightly more bearable.

8. Dumbo

I’ve already gone on about how I feel about Disney’s string of live-action remakes. For the most part, they fail to validate their own existences; they’re just copies of the original but with “real” actors dancing around animated backgrounds, objects and locations instead of everything being traditionally animated. Dumbo isn’t like Aladdin and Beauty and the Beast. It does try new things. It diverges from the source material significantly in the worst way. The titular character winds up playing second banana to a bunch of circus performers no one cares about and in the end didn’t contain an inkling of the emotion the 1941 version did.

7. Dark Phoenix

This one’s a triple-whammy. Not only was it a deeply disappointing way for Fox’s X-Men series to end, it retreaded old material in a way that was worse than X-Men 3: The Last Stand AND it was a box office bomb. By the time the story finally comes alive… it’s just about over. The whole thing feels like a mistake, bringing in aliens and asking us to invest in characters we just haven’t had enough time to fall in love with. Makes me wonder what the future of the characters is going to be like. Yes there are a number of heroes and heroines we haven’t yet seen, but are people going to care, even when the brand gets a new coat of paint from Marvel Studios?

6. Men in Black: International

Was anyone asking for the Men in Black series to return? Maybe if they'd had a dynamite story this could’ve overcome the public’s general disinterest, but this was an extremely generic plot you could figure out easily minutes in and lost touch with what endeared us to the first. Even with the combined forces of Tessa Thompson and Chris Hemsworth failed, it to generate many laughs. Worse, to make sure I got any references or Easter egg it might drop, I re-watched all of the previous Men in Black movies, including the horrific Men in Black 2.

5. Replicas

This movie goes about itself in such a convoluted way. First, Keanu Reeves plays a scientist working for a company that wants to transplant the mind of dead soldiers into androids. Then, his family is killed in a car crash, prompting him to use the mind transfer tech to put their memories into new clone bodies of themselves. Problem is, he only has the means to clone three out of four family members. This means he has to erase all memories of his youngest daughter from the others’ brains. Following me so far? Good because it keeps going from there. Actually, that’s just the start of it. It’s a classic case of TMSGO - too much sh*t goin’ on. Even with all that, it STILLL managed to have gaping plot holes. No surprise it came and went as quietly as possible.

4. Hellboy

This one hurt. I wanted to see a superhero horror film badly. The early interviews I read about them wanting to adapt Mike Mignola’s books more closely than the Del Toro films got me excited. I was a little apprehensive when the trailers showed some goofy stuff but I figured these were included to draw people in. I should've listened to that sinking feeling. The actual film is awful, one giant mistake after another. Without a doubt, this featured the year’s worst special effects and even this I could've forgiven but the would-be humorous tone was badly misjudged and the story bloated with way too many elements that might've worked... if we weren't also trying to tell the character's origin at the same time. Hellboy ends with a teaser promising more and there’s no way we would’ve seen a sequel even if this had made money at the box office. Cool demons though, for what it’s worth.

3. Shaft

Looking back, I’m struggling to think of anything worth seeing in Shaft. I hated the film’s approach at comedy, particularly when it reverted Samuel L. Jackson’s John Shaft into the kind of man who proudly doesn’t understand modern sensibilities and spews out one homophobic joke after another. The plot was uninspired and uninteresting - not to mention generic - and none of it felt like it belonged on the big screen. On the upside, it prompted me to view the original trilogy with Richard Roundtree and those were enjoyable.

2. Simmba

Simmba is unlikely to be on the “Worst of 2019” list next January. It probably won’t be at the #2 spot. The film mixes two wildly different tones but not well. It begins as a romantic crime comedy, a dated one, sure. Simmba staging a phoney crime in order for the woman he’s attracted to to call him for help and then use the call as an excuse to stay with her through the night is creepy but I guess it might’ve passed like 20 years ago in North America. What makes this a bad film is the way it then introduces a character’s gang rape and murder as a way to prompt the anti-hero onto a righteous path. From there, it turns into this vigilante revenge film that has disturbing implications. You probably haven’t heard of it before now, much less seen it. I don’t recommend you check it out.

Runner Ups:

Aladdin

A controversial choice, as many casual filmgoers seem to have fallen madly in love with it (similar to the way they ate up 2017’s Beauty and the Beast) but honestly, what does this film do better than 1992’s Aladdin? Add an unmemorable song for Princess Jasmine to sing? Reduce the number of talking animals in order to give us more… nothing? Pile on the CGI to the point you wonder why it was made with live-actors in the first place? Like the innumerable direct-to-video sequels of classic films who've been all but forgotten, I tell you this Arabbian adventure won't endure.

Tolkien

So much potential squandered on a boring story. It didn’t take an astute viewer to recognize the film was crippled by the studio failing to obtain the rights to Tolkien’s actual work. I get the feeling we'll see another shot at a biography of J.R.R. Tolkien in a couple of years and this will be the Christopher Robin to the much superior Goodbye Christopher Robin.

The Hustle

It’s an unfunny comedy, what more is there to say? Rebel Wilson makes yet another bad career choice playing the same character she always plays. I only realized it was a remake of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels while writing my review, which is unfortunate. Hopefully I can expunge this film from my memory soon enough and forget anything it might’ve spoiled about the original Bedtime Story or the 1988 remake.

1. Unplanned

The numerous instances of technical incompetence - mostly coming from the performers who are given lackluster material - would be enough to condemn Unplanned to this list. What made me hate the film is the way it blatantly lies and attempts to manipulate the audience into further entrenching themselves in a certain point of view through cheap, manipulative means. I can respect that genuine passion was poured into the project but the way it goes about it is shameful. Do not go see it, even if you're curious.

Yuck. That last one really left a bad taste in my mouth so I'm going to talk about a movie I did enjoy and am enthusiastic to direct you towards Alita: Battle Angel. Rosa Salazar as the titular Alita impressed me and I really dug the action scenes. I'll also right a wrong from last year by reminding you to find and watch Paddington and Paddington 2, both movies I should've put on my "Best of" lists the years they came out. I don't know what I was thinking but I keep coming back to these in my head. They're excellent for kids and adults.

And with that said, the list is over. Back to our regularly-scheduled film reviews until something big comes up. Thoughts or comments on the list are welcome and I hope you enjoyed reading.

[girlmeetsliv3]

Paradiso: Eight

“Prove it.”

It was a phrase that echoed loudly inside your head affecting everything inside your brain if it had been fragile before your sanity was at breaking point. You knew what you had to do of course in order to escape and you attempted to reason that whatever you had to do was justifiable as long as it meant you survived. No price was too high. That was at least what your mind tried to rationalize as you uttered the next words which you would come to regret for the rest of life. Perhaps it would have been better to test his wrath, sure your death would have been painful, but that pain would look like child’s play compared to the things you would now be forced to endure in the name of love.

“Come here, please.” The words sounded foreign to you as if it was not you who was speaking them but someone else. That was for the best if you pretended you were not yourself then you could distance yourself from the situation – go on as if it was all a bad dream. But you knew better. As Hoseok leaned in you could feel his breath on your face, it was shallow and agitated as if he was trying to regain his composure. His entire body though was completely still, a stillness you only thought possible in death. You closed your eyes before the tears could fall and leaned in to kiss him, a sob almost breaking out when his tongue forced your mouth open. His arms caged you and claustrophobia began to set in, both he and you began to wonder how much your mind could take before it completely shattered. Not long.

The kiss didn’t last that long, at least in real time, to you it felt like eternal torture. Your eyes opened and stared deeply into his, there was something new in them: a mixture of ravenous hunger and insanity. Finally, you understood why his eyes looked the way they did; more darkness than light – another clue you had missed. Hoseok walked around you to untie the cable ties around your wrists and ankles, deep purple blisters now adorned your skin and it briefly reminded him of how you had looked when you first arrived. The feeling causing bile to rise, so he quickly made an attempt to forget it. You briefly thought about kicking him and making a run for it, but your legs were useless and say by some unknown force you did make it out the basement and through the front door – there was no way you could climb the fence. Much less make it off the island without a boat. The best option was to stick it out until Tuesday came. Tuesday…I can leave on Tuesday.

Hoseok must have sensed a shift in you for when he stood in front of you again, he observed you with the frigidness a scientist observing a lab rat would. “Jagi…” There was a warning in his voice and you knew better than to not head it. “I’m sorry.” You bowed your head seemingly in shame but did so more, so he wouldn’t be able to see your expression. After all, he could read you like an open book and you weren’t going to give him the satisfaction of having a reason to enforce his will upon you. Hoseok bent down to scoop you up into his arms and began to ascend the stairs of the basement, not bothering to clean or dispose of any of the dirtied weapons or rotting corpse in the corner of the room. For the first time in that night, you were thankful that Hoseok overpowered you in every sense for it meant that you could not turn around and look past his frame to see the man you had once supposedly loved. The one that based on the ring on his left hand, you were supposed to have spent the rest of your life with. Life is unpredictable that way – nothing ever goes according to plan. For better or for worse.

 The master bedroom of the house was not a fond place for you, it was like entering the devil’s lair. You began to think over everything you had done in your life – the short-lived one that you recalled – and your past one; you must have been a monster to deserve this kind of treatment. Maybe you were not even alive, but this a section of inferno disguised to resemble paradise. It was all too much. Hoseok carried you straight into the bathroom, he didn’t even bother placing you somewhere with one hand he managed to close the door and lock it. Then, he opened the shower door and turned on the hot water. No please anything but this. You knew he wouldn’t care that it made you feel violated, for he was seemingly running on autopilot at this point. He dropped you on the edge of the sink and proceeded to take off the now blood-stained white shirt he had lent you.

“Hobi. Please. I-I c-can do this.” There was an uncontrollable tremor on your lips and you tried to stop it, but that only seemed to worsen it. Your body was now reacting physically to the damage your psyche had endured. Your words went unnoticed or he simply disregarded them as he stripped you of the shirt and bottoms and left you entirely nude. As the sobs finally broke out he carried you over to the shower and placed you inside letting the warm water wash away everything. You wished you could wash away too – never to be seen again. It didn’t take long before he joined you, not doing anything other than holding you as you experienced every emotion humanly possible in the span of minutes. He just stared at you with a blank expression and you began to pound on his chest trying to elicit a reaction; for anything was better than the blank mannequin that stared at you. If he was angry and tried to hurt you, at the very least you could pretend that he still wasn’t beautiful. That for some uncanny reason you still trusted, the way a child blindly trusts their parents every word. You could pretend that it was all a bad dream and you would wake up to a nicer Hoseok whose brightness rivaled that of the sun. No such thing would happen.

Once he deemed that most of the dirt, blood, and filth had been washed away. He once again carried you, but this time to the large tub in the center of the room that was waiting for the two of you. The water was nice, the salts that had been added would irritate your wounds, but the smell they emitted was so delightfully sweet you could ignore the pain. He had forced you to lay on his chest and between his open legs, your back straining due to you wanting to have as little contact as possible with him. He noticed, he just didn’t see the point in arguing anymore. There would be nothing more to be gained tonight if he got violent again, so he wouldn’t. A different approach would be taken.

“You know that man whose arms you ran to tonight. He’s an even bigger monster than I am.”

You almost scoffed at that. Now he’s going to play the anti-hero

“You wouldn’t know because you don’t remember, but when I found you there wasn’t just sunburns and rashes on your skin. Your ribs were cracked and you had large bruises on your legs – they were in the process of healing meaning they weren’t caused by the sea or anything else.”

No, he’s lying…

“I think you also know that a side effect of drowning and dehydration is not memory loss, maybe temporary but no normal concussion could cause that. Extreme and repetitive trauma though, that’s a different story.”

           Your dream replayed in your head; why had you run out in the middle of a storm in open water when you knew the dangers. Where you looking for someone?

“You were unconscious for a week. He waited a week to come looking for you – only because it would seem suspicious if an abuse victim suddenly disappeared on a vacation with her partner don’t you think?”

           Or were you trying to escape?

[raefill]

“Shouto-kun,” Todoroki hears, like an echo from his memory, in the exact same disappointed tone he’s using now. “Look at these,” Midoriya holds up the tattered pair of boxer briefs, delicately grasped between the very tips of his thumb and forefinger. “This is the old you,” Midoriya says, lifting them out of Todoroki’s reach as he tries to snatch them out of embarrassment.

“I- I get it, Izuku, just put them away!” He begs, trying to shield the other customers lingering near the fitting rooms from the view of his rattiest pair of underwear being flailed around like a flag to signify his shame.

“Repeat after me,” Midoriya demands, lowering the underwear to a less visible height, “I’m not a homeless person.”

“I’m not a homeless person,” Todoroki parrots.

“I’m actually kinda loaded.”

“I’m actua- wait-”

“There’s no reason I should be wearing underwear with holes in,” Midoriya finishes with a flourish. Todoroki hangs his head.

“There’s no reason I should be wearing underwear with holes in,” he agrees. Full of regret for letting Midoriya look through his clothes to see what there was to ‘work with,’ he turns tail with the pile of clothes Midoriya picked out and heads into one of the cubicles in the fitting room. He’d deemed Todoroki’s entire sock and underwear drawer a lost cause. Then said that most of his pajamas were only comfy because he’d been wearing the same ones for five years. Which might be true but Todoroki didn’t think they were complete write-offs, either. But that is how he had ended up out here shopping, Midoriya having made the very good point that wearing boxers without holes would already be an improvement.

Midoriya sits himself on the little bench inside the changing room, surrounded by bags full of underwear, socks, and pajamas that Todoroki had felt surprisingly not-guilty spending his allowance on. Although the purpose of him asking Midoriya for help had been envisioned completely differently, Todoroki recognises he really probably did need to refresh a lot of the basic items in his closet.

Alongside the few pairs of jeans he wanted to pick up, slimmer than he would usually wear due to his so-called best friend, nothing Midoriya had handed him in the pile screams ‘sexy’. But he sucks in a deep breath, draws the curtain behind him and goes for the jeans first. Admittedly, they do show off the shape of his legs. So he flicks the curtain open, receiving an approving nod from Midoriya.

“Show me the good stuff, Shouto-kun,” Midoriya practically bounces in his seat. Todoroki abandons the jeans, pulling a pair of leggings out of the pile. He hasn’t worn any since he was a child, too omegan for him to been seen wearing out and about. But they’re black and incredibly soft, so he slips into them, surprised to find they’re high waisted. And extremely comfortable.

When he looks in the mirror he’s surprised by his own appearance. The usually unnoticeable roundness in his hips is more pronounced, the waistband sitting right where his sides would nip in if he weren’t quite so strung with muscle. He hasn’t looked so close to being hourglass shaped in years. Hero training destroying pretty much all aspects of his physicality as an omega besides what is in his pants.

A little uncertain, he pulls out the knit sweater, as per Midoriya’s instructions. It’s grey, with thick strands woven together, hanging loosely off of one shoulder and just long enough to tuck under his ass. It makes his neck look incredibly long, he thinks.

He slides a hand along his bare shoulder, coming up to cup his palm around his scent gland, which somehow feels much more exposed than usual. Other than that, though, the entire ensemble is incredibly comfy. Todoroki is somehow both alright and not. He feels like he’s teetering right on the very edge of his comfort zone, which has him questioning what hope he ever really had of wearing anything risqué. But it's just Midoriya outside and so he steels himself.

He opens the curtain.

Midoriya’s eyes light up. Todoroki can see him practically vibrating out of his seat at the sight of a job well done.

“This isn’t really what I had in mind,” Todoroki admits, although it’s not bad either, moving a hand to cover his exposed shoulder.

“But you look so cute!” Midoriya squawks. Todoroki flushes, so he looks down to hide behind his fringe. Noticing his reluctance, Midoriya sighs. “If you’re not comfortable then that’s okay,” he says, voice soft. Todoroki looks up at him briefly, unable to hold eye contact for long.

“You don’t think- that it’s too obviously omegan?” Todoroki asks. He sees Midoriya shake his head in his peripheral vision. Which, somehow, gives him the courage to look up again. Midoriya is smiling at him, but it’s off.

“Betas experiment with omegan fashion all the time,” he points out, “this isn’t even that omegan.” He pauses, “did you forget that being an omega isn’t actually shameful?” Todoroki’s brain shuts down on him, jaw-dropping at the insinuation.

“Izuku, you know that’s not-”

“I know, you haven’t insulted me,” Midoriya laughs. Although his smile isn’t as lively as usual, opening up a pit of dread in Todoroki’s stomach. “It’s just clothes, Shouto-kun, who’s to say what piece of fabric is more one dynamic than another? I could put you in a studded leather jacket and you’d look just as good,” Midoriya flips his notebook open. “Actually, I’m going to add that to the list,” he says, visibly perking up at having new ideas. Midoriya doesn’t stop scribbling for a while, mumbling away and leaving Todoroki to his thoughts.

He supposes Midoriya is right. He’s not sure when he internalised his father’s rhetoric but he’s started to find being recognised as an omega embarrassing. Which is ridiculous, one of the people he loves and respects most in the world is the omega sat right in front of him. He watches Midoriya mutter to himself, the once slight little omega on the first day of class now broad, strong, confident, and wearing pastel pink skinny jeans with a floral shirt. He thinks, that if Midoriya can blend those things, then maybe he can too.

Maybe with fewer flowers.

“You’re right,” he says, interrupting Midoriya’s train of thought. He looks up from his notebook curiously, obviously having forgotten what they had been talking about. “There’s nothing shameful about being an omega,” he reminds him. Midoriya scoffs, vibrant amusement back in full force in those big green eyes. “Now, do I actually look good in this or were you just meddling again?” Todoroki teases. Midoriya taps his pen against his lips, giving the question some real thought, eyes roaming up and down Todoroki’s body.

“Have you ever seen something so soft that if you don’t pet it you feel like you might die?” Midoriya asks. Todoroki thinks of the cat that he sometimes passes by the convenience store and nods. Then thinks that through a little further.

“Oh,” Todoroki blinks. Then opens his arms. The sleeves are still too long even with his arms stretched all the way out, he notices.

Midoriya ditches his notebook, bounding up to Todoroki and launching himself into the hug. He hooks his chin on Todoroki’s shoulder, finally tall enough to do that now without standing on his tiptoes. True to his word, Midoriya rubs his hands up and down the soft fabric covering his back. Todoroki squeezes him.

There’s a moment of quiet, both enjoying the simplicity of it.

“Kacchan,” Midoriya murmurs, “you really like him?” Todoroki turns, nuzzling into Midoriya’s hair and inhaling. The familiar scent of a pack mate easing any tension left in him.

“Yes,” he says. Midoriya squeezes him back.

“I’m so happy for you, Shouto-kun.”

Todoroki really had not planned for this. After his Midoriya-induced epiphany, he thought that maybe he would consider wearing those comfy leggings to a movie night in the common room next week. Or possibly wear something a little less plain on their next unofficial class trip to the mall.

Instead, he finds himself outside of his dorm, donned in his leggings and very neck-exposing jumper, in the chilly evening wind, surrounded by his classmates as the fire alarm in their dorm blares. Worse, other classes in the buildings around them are looking out of their windows to see what the racket is.

He stands barefoot on the cold, wet, pavement. Midoriya stands next to him, wringing his hands and looking very guilty. But Todoroki knows this is equally their own fault. Really, they’re aiming to be pro heroes, get top scores in class, but they’re both too stupid to realise that Todoroki symbolically burning his ratty old underwear indoors would set off the fire alarm.

He hadn’t even questioned it. Midoriya handed the cloth back to him after returning from their arduous shopping trip, laden with bags from various stores including one labelled ‘Victoria’s Secret’, and Todoroki switched his quirk on without batting an eyelid.

The only plus side is in his exhaustion he didn’t accidentally send his new clothes up in flames too. He can’t imagine having to face his father after he’s seen credit card charges to a store that exclusively sells lingerie and frilly pajamas, then go on to admit he’d accidentally burnt it all as soon as he got it home.

A situation made worse because this is exactly the kind of thing his father has been encouraging him to spend the family money on in order to try and squeeze Todoroki into a quirk marriage.

He curses Midoriya out in his head for being so convincing. About going into that store and because it makes it look like he’s falling for his father’s whims. It is, in fact, the exact opposite. Todoroki thinks he might have to avoid Endeavor for a while.

Kirishima sidles up next to him, shirtless but cheerful in the cold as the last of the class filter out of the building. No doubt Aizawa is going to give him a bollocking for this.

“You know what happened?” Kirishima asks, cheeky grin firmly in place.

“Ah-” Midoriya squawks, making a slashing motion at his neck as a sign to silence Kirishima. Todoroki rolls his eyes.

“You know where we were today,” he states. Kirishima shrugs, but the light dancing in his eyes tells Todoroki he knows exactly what was going on at the mall, even if his dynamic had been left out of it. It’s verging on humiliating to have more than one person know he’s so sexually inept. But, this is who his best friend has chosen to trust, so he sighs. “Izuku suggested I symbolically burn a piece of old clothing,” he omits the finer details. Todoroki can see Kirishima's grin freezes, fixed to his face as he tries to resist laughing. “Underwear,” he says. Kirishima guffaws, slapping him on the back.

“That’s manly as hell, dude,” Kirishima continues to laugh. As much as Todoroki wants the ground to open up and swallow him, for a multitude of reasons, he finds himself having to try and repress a smile. Kirishima’s laughter has always been infectious, and when Midoriya loses it and starts sniggering beside him he knows he’s lost the battle. The hilarity of the situation hits him all at once. He’s still embarrassed, cheeks as pink as the cold tip of his nose, but it’s much more enjoyable to belly laugh with his friends than wallow. He might also be a little hysterical.

“What are you losers laughing about?” Bakugou’s voice interrupts, tone mocking. Todoroki looks up, eyes a little watery, to see him striding over from the still-blaring building. There’s a harsh grin, almost cruel in its angles, stretched across his face. But there’s a warmth in it that could almost be considered friendly. Kirishima just wheezes harder at the sight of Bakugou’s swagger. Possibly because he’s only clad in a towel.

Todoroki is enjoying it. Very much. Especially when water drips from a dark lock of blond hair and hits his collarbone. The droplet streaks straight down his pec, coming to a stop when it hits a very hard, pink, nipple. Todoroki’s mouth goes dry.

In his distraction, he doesn’t notice that Bakugou hasn’t slowed down. Only realising something is off when Bakugou doesn’t stop in the space that would form their makeshift group into a neat circle. Instead, he pushes into the space between Todoroki and Kirishima, hooking an arm around Todoroki’s waist.

But Todoroki doesn’t stumble when Bakugou reels him in to press their sides together, already moving to do the same. He’s still hiccuping little laughs out every now and again but starts throwing heat out where Bakugou has attached himself and hopes that he won’t catch a cold. The smell of soap is so strong he thinks Aizawa probably plucked Bakugou straight from the shower and sent him marching outside.

Only when he’s got his arm firmly wrapped around Bakugou’s shoulders does he notice that Midoriya and Kirishima have gone silent. He looks up, curious as to their sudden quiet, only to find Kirishima staring wide-eyed.

He shakily lifts a finger, pointing at Bakugou and Todoroki where they’re pressed together, mouth opening and closing.

“Ba-Bakugou?!”

“Hah?!” Bakugou responds immediately. Midoriya shoots forward, pushing Kirishima’s arm down and crowding him in the opposite direction with a nervous smile. Kirishima doesn’t go easy, too busy staring to organise his feet into moving where Midoriya takes him.

“It was so nice hanging out with you today, Shouto-kun,” he babbles, giving Kirishima a shove. “We should do this again sometime- come on Eijirou-kun- I’ll text you!” He calls over his shoulder, wrangling his shell shocked mate into a headlock and dragging him away.

“See you, Izuku,” Todoroki calls after them. Slightly delayed if only because he’s touched that Midoriya had kept so much of his secret under wraps through whatever interrogation techniques Kirishima had used on him. He looks to Bakugou.

“What was that about?” Bakugou asks. Todoroki snorts involuntarily. Definitely hysterical. He shakes his head, unable to shift the smile from his face for some reason. He’s having fun, he realises. So he pulls Bakugou a little closer, who is looking at him with that magnetism again, brow and jaw relaxed for once in his life.

“What?” He asks. Bakugou doesn’t answer, using the hand not occupied with Todoroki’s waist to cup his jaw. His body moves as Bakugou turns Todoroki’s head to face him, bringing their chests flush. Bakugou continues to stare. Todoroki can feel his smile becoming more and more timid under the scrutiny, verging on breaking into a cold sweat under the intensity of his gaze. By the time Bakugou speaks they’re so close their noses are almost touching. It sends a thrill down Todoroki’s spine.

“You’re beautiful,” Bakugou says. All Todoroki has time to do is choke on his own inhale before Bakugou is kissing him. Out in the open. In front of everyone. Public kisses tend to be reserved for wedding ceremonies but Todoroki seems to conveniently forget because then Bakugou’s fingers are in his hair and the rest of the world doesn’t matter. Not while the soft flesh of Bakugou’s lips is sliding across his own, interlocking and parting with a little wet sound that Todoroki locks away in his memory vault of absolute filth to review late at night.

“Is nobody else seeing this?” He hears, on the edge of his awareness, amongst what sounds suspiciously like Kirishima screaming and Midoriya’s panicked shushing.

But Bakugou lets go of him as swiftly as he’s snatched him up, turning and half jogging back to the dorms. Which are no longer ringing with fire alarms, he realises with a start. Only once Bakugou has disappeared back inside does Todoroki realise he didn’t notice his new outfit. Todoroki laughs, a little dazed but amused by Bakugou’s eagerness to finish washing the suds from his hair and high on being called beautiful with seemingly no help needed from what he was wearing. He turns, suddenly courageous in the face of his classmates.

“What about him?” Uraraka asks. Less people have turned to see what Kirishima is so riled up about than he expected and there’s a steady filter of cold, underdressed, students heading back towards the dorms.

“He does look unusually happy,” Kaminari hums.

Midoriya catches Kirishima before he deflates onto the floor, red faced with an incredulous smile. Todoroki inhales the cool air, filled with a new sense of purpose, and turns to pursue Bakugou into the building. But not without giving Kirishima an apologetic wave.

After all, nobody else had seen.

[xswestallen]

While I completely agree that nobody should body-shame Grant and that he can post his ass on his insta if he wants, and people shouldn't shame him for that, I also think you ought to be careful about saying that people who simply were put off by seeing that pic are prudish, because it was a bare ass. We have to remember that not everyone is exposed to American values/structure when it comes to nudity, and by saying that it's especially harmful to POC who come from conservative backgrounds. 1/2

I grew up in a very conservative Indian Hindu family in America, and for the longest time, I couldn't leave the house without tying my hair up, and I couldn't wear shorts/short skirts. I was grew up uncomfortable with even non-sexual nudity, because I grew up in a very different culture than the one I experienced in school. I was uncomfortable in my own body, and I was really thin. It heavily affected me when people called me prudish, because they didn't know what I was going through. (2/3)

I eventually came into my own and was able to reconcile two very different sets of values, and am comfortable in my own body, and I wear all kinds of clothes now. But I used to get uncomfortable seeing my friends in bikinis and things, because I wasn't allowed that freedom, so it was so foreign. I never shamed my friends, of course, and I thought they looked fab, but it was an internal personal conflict about myself. I highly respect you, and I just thought I'd point this out politely. (3/3)

Thank you for giving me more insight, I really do appreciate it. I respect you too and you are very polite. 

It wasn’t my intention to ostracize people, especially women, from other cultures that are very conservative. I was raised in a very conservative American souther Baptist community (fundamentalist) and also wasn’t allowed to wear shorts, normal bathing suits, or shirts that didn’t have sleeves growing up. I also used to feel a lot of shame when it came to human bodies. I was an extreme prude who would slut shame women everyday for wearing what I deemed too little clothing. It was a culture where prude was the norm, prude was something to be proud of because it made you more pious. I was even uncomfortable looking at my own body when I’d shower. It was very unhealthy for me and I was being rude to other people too.

As I grew up and realized how there’s nothing inherently bad about nudity, I built up more and more resentment to the shame my church and family preached. I don’t blame other victims of it for being uncomfortable, and respect anyone who decides they personally do not want to show skin, but when I see people saying a person is slutty, immoral, a bad role model, or harming children if they decide to show their body, I get upset. Because of what I’ve gone threw, I came out of it very defensive of nudity. I’m sure part of it is me trying to compensate for the shame I put out into the world before I knew better. Another part of it is because I am now studying to become an OB/GYN and I see strangers’ genitals basically everyday in a non-sexual way, so seeing any form of nudity doesn’t phase me at all anymore.

[kivaember]

could you answer all the character flaw questions? i just -clenches fist- love aza

ahdjaa oh goodness, I’m glad you like him that much…!!!!! okie i will answer the character flaw questions remaining, though they’ll be under the cut because they’re so long… 

Thanks for this, I really enjoyed writing these out ;;w;; 

🙊what would my muse say their biggest flaw is?

Aza tends to be very aware of his shortcomings, albeit in a very self-deprecating manner, so he would say his biggest flaw is his fear. His fear of everything. He gets frightened very easily, but he covers it up with a mean poker face or aggression, depending on the situation, and it does mean sometimes he tends to lash out or be overly harsh without meaning to. He hates being so fearful, so it’s a flaw he utterly despises within himself. 

⧱ what really is my muse’s biggest flaw?

Being eager to please. This is linked to his fear, so Aza has the right of it that it is his biggest flaw, but his desire to be likeable and useful to those he deems his friends and family, as well as being fearful that he’ll be left behind if he isn’t likeable or useful, means he neglects his own health, mental or physical, at times. 

With Bluebird, Atani and Aruci, it’s not as bad, because they see through that shit and make sure he doesn’t say ‘yes’ just to keep them happy (and, because, deep down, he’s fearful of being ‘too troublesome’ and being tossed out, a fear that he knows is irrational but one he has anyways). With the Scions in ARR, he had it BAD, trying to twist and cram himself into the role of Warrior of Light, to the extreme detriment of his own comfort and happiness, just so he measured up to these expectations that the Scions were beginning to have in him. Things are better with the Scions since SB, but yeah, if he likes someone, or wants to be liked by someone, he almost becomes a doormat. He’s gotten better since SB though. 

🤳name three physical imperfections my muse has (birthmarks, gray hairs, muscular definition, etc).

1. Heavy scarring all over his body. They’re stark, thick and pull across each other from time to time, and Aza thinks they look a little ugly, but also gets a dark thrill at ‘ruining’ the ‘beautiful body’ he was coveted for in his earlier years. With his body so scarred, he feels no one would want him like that ever again, which is a comfort…

2. His hair is beginning to prematurely grey, much to Aza’s dismay. So at the moment he has grey streaks in his hair, which are very obvious, and he can’t stop it at all. He hates visible signs of his age. 

3.  Poor joints and bone health. His childhood, with its rough living and malnutrition, coupled with the stress of living under Master Musa, then growing up on the Steppes and moving into mercenary life in his 20s, mean his body is just fucked. This is linked to the scarring, but Aza does have early onset of osteoarthritis as well as cartilage degradation that White Magic just can’t cure. His body is just close to done, and it’s highly likely that he will end up retiring from fighting in his forties, unless he wants to permanently cripple himself for good. 

🙈what’s my muse’s biggest blind spot?

Bluebird. Holy crap Bluebird is his biggest blindspot ever. Even though he’s aware Bluebird can be a massive asshole, especially to him and his friends, he fucking loves the hell out of her and thinks she can do no real wrong. Be petty and annoying, maybe, but not any real wrong. It does mean he can kind of be swept up in her energetic wake, and get dragged into stressful situations because of it…

😰when my muse is stressed, how do they act out?

 As mentioned above, he tends to get aggressive if he’s stressed out or scared. He finds comfort in projecting a show of strength and viciousness, and especially if that gives him space, because when he’s stressed he hates being crowded or fussed over even more. However, he knows that snapping at his loved ones is a bad habit to get into, so he tends to isolate himself and wallow for a while. He used to also drink himself into oblivion, but Aymeric put his foot down on that, so now he tends to wander to the closest Chocobo stables to let the birds calm him down, or do something with his hands like crafting or repairing his gear, or something. 

💚what does my muse get envious over?

People having their shit together, or carefree lives. Like, he’s so fucking jealous of Bluebird being so confident and fearless, and it burns him so bad that he’s still this frightened, jumpy little boy that he never really grew up from. He wants to be confident without an edge of terror of failing dogging his steps, he wants to be fearless just because it seemed so stress-free… so yeah, he gets jealous of that really badly. 

🚫what is one thing my muse wouldn’t want someone else to know about them?

His past. Holy fuck his past. It took over a year for Aymeric to learn about Aza’s past, and even then he doesn’t have hard details and Aza had been forced to tell him because of exceptional circumstances. The Scions? No. Nope. He’d sooner die than tell them. He has intense shame over what happened with Master Musa, as well as his hand in his sister’s death (that he still remembers unreliably…), and he’s terrified that if they know, they’d think him lesser, or deficient in some way… or pity him. 

If he could, he’d carve out that past from his history and burn it into nothing. But sadly, he’s gotta carry it, and only a scant handful of people that he can count on one hand, know about his past. Which he’ll keep that way, thank you very much. 

✍️does my muse have a learning disability?

Not a disability as such, but he does have a mental block when it comes to writing because of his past experiences. He struggles to write, and while he’s bullied himself into being able to scrawl very messy, short and poorly spelled words, he’s barely as literate as a young child. He finds this incredibly embarrassing, so he tends to go through convoluted ways to make sure he never gets shoved into a situation where he needs to write. 

🎒what was my muse’s worst subject in school?

He never went to school, which… is probably why he’s so academically apathetic about things. 

🙅‍♂️what does my muse feel insecure about?

EVERYTHING, practically. He’s insecure about his position in his relationship with Aymeric (”am I too troublesome? too high-maintenance? I can never do most of the things he wants me to do, my body is scarred and ugly, am I just chaining him down, etc, etc”), he’s insecure at his ability to live up to the expectations of Warrior of Light (”what if I fail? what if someone else I love dies? what if, what if, what if…”) and he’s insecure at just… being able to live. 

Like, all he’s wanted is to achieve happiness, feel secure and safe and be strong. But with everything happening in ffxiv, he sometimes feels he’s constantly backing off from that goal…

👾what was my muse’s childhood bogeyman?

MASTER. FUCKING. MUSA.

Even nearing his forties, with a good two and a half decades put between him and his experiences with the man, even mentioning or remembering him makes him break out into a nervous sweat. It’s why he hates Kugane, and Doma to a smaller degree. Everything there reminds him of Master Musa, and it makes him sick to his stomach and constantly teetering on the edge of terror and anxiety. 

He keeps thinking, even now, he’ll pop out from the shadows and be there. Even though Aza is old enough and strong enough to snap him over his knee, and even killed him himself before, the fear is still there. He still features in a lot of Aza’s nightmares, even now…

[rdclsuperfoods]

We’re in the midst of a global pandemic and national political upheaval unlike anything we’ve seen in the past 150 years. Still, wellness influencers, major news outlets, and even the CDC are finding plenty of time to fret about dieting and weight gain. In response, anti-diet nutritionists, therapists, and activists have taken to social media to point out that a too tight grip on your eating habits can cause anxiety and unhealthy patterns that leave you frustrated and physically uncomfortable.

I agree. In April I wrote about how quarantine-induced worries linked to food and exercise can backfire, and why a more relaxed approach to food leads to better health. However, this is easier said than done. Our relationship with weight and diets is complex, and it can be tough to distinguish a healthy habit from an unhealthy one. If you’re working toward a healthier mindset about food, a good first step is to identify your own food rules and then challenge them.

A food rule is any kind of black-and-white thinking about food. Some might be holdovers from a specific diet you’ve tried in the past, like the idea that you should avoid carbs, or that there’s a static number of calories you should eat in a day. Others are extreme versions of generally sound advice, like the idea that you must only eat whole foods, or that sugar and processed goods are explicitly off-limits. 

Some of these ideas are grounded in evidence, but there’s a critical difference between food rules and healthy eating habits. The latter are flexible: you prioritize nutritious ingredients but don’t agonize over what to eat and aren’t stressed if you go a day without vegetables or finish a meal feeling overly full. Food rules are rigid: you have strict parameters around how you should eat, and feel guilty or anxious (or like you need to compensate) when you don’t eat according to that plan. “Following food rules can be physically, mentally, and socially exhausting, which impacts overall quality of life,” says Taylor Chan, a dietitian and certified personal trainer. Here are six new anti-rules to learn in the new year. 

There Are No Bad Foods

Morality has long snuck into the way we talk and think about eating. Look at the way that various foods are marketed: something low in calories, sugar, and fat might be labeled “guilt-free.” High-sugar, high-fat, and high-calorie foods are deemed “sinfully delicious,” an indulgence to feel a little ashamed of. It might seem normal to think of certain foods as good or bad, seeing as how moralizing eating patterns is a natural product of our culture’s fixation on healthy living. But that doesn’t mean it’s helpful, says Chan.

If a certain food is deemed inherently bad, and eating it is bad behavior, it isn’t a huge leap to think you’re a bad person for eating that way. Food quickly becomes a source of stress and shame, rather than nourishment and pleasure. Dalina Soto, an anti-diet dietitian, expertly called out the problem in an Instagram post: you aren’t a horrible person with no self-control because you ate some ice cream; you just ate something delicious because you wanted it. Thinking of it this way makes it easier to let go and move on. The point isn’t that ice cream is nutrient packed or that it should be the cornerstone of your diet—those wouldn’t be accurate or helpful, either! It’s that there’s never a reason to feel guilty about eating, no matter the nutritional value of the food.

Forget About Clean Eating

Clean eating is such a common phrase that it might not raise an eyebrow, but it’s problematic, too. It implies that other foods and ways of eating are dirty, which falls into the same moralizing trap mentioned above. Plus, there’s no real definition of what “clean” means. “People start developing arbitrary rules about their food, which leads to restrictive and unhealthy food patterns,” says Heather Caplan, a dietitian who specializes in intuitive eating and sports nutrition.

There’s evidence to back this up. A 2020 cross-sectional survey of 1,266 young adults published in the journal Nutrients found that over half the participants had heard of clean eating and thought of it as healthy, but that their definitions of clean were all over the place. The researchers pointed out that while clean eating is often portrayed as healthy, it is often linked with disordered eating. It’s a dichotomous way of thinking, “characterized by extreme ‘all bad’ or ‘all good’ views toward food,” the paper states. Additionally, someone can use clean eating to mask behaviors like severe calorie restriction, claiming that they’re avoiding various foods for health reasons when in fact they may have an underlying eating disorder or disordered-eating behaviors. The researchers also found clean eating to be associated with nutritional deficiencies, since restrictive behavior can go undetected and unchecked for so long.

If you want to eat healthfully, a better approach is to prioritize nutrient-dense foods—fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts, seeds, legumes, healthy oils, and lean proteins—without vowing to only eat these foods. It’s a flexible and realistic approach that won’t have you constantly questioning whether certain foods are clean enough or not.

Stop Tracking Your Intake

Religiously counting calories or macros (carbs, fat, and protein) probably isn’t going to have the effect you want it to. One 2013 review of 25 existing studies published in Frontiers in Psychology found that restricted eating habits rarely led to weight loss and, in fact, often corresponded with weight gain. 

There’s no consensus on why exactly this happens, but a 2015 article in the International Journal of Obesity explains that the body is designed to protect against weight loss. Restriction-induced weight loss precipitates physiological adaptations, including fewer calories burned overall, less fat oxidation (converting stored fat to energy), a decrease in the fullness-signaling hormone leptin, and an increase in the hunger-signaling hormone ghrelin. Even if someone who has lost weight successfully manages to override their hunger signals, their metabolism may still be slower than before, making it increasingly harder to keep burning fat. This might be why many dieters don’t see the results they want from calorie counting.

Soto instead encourages an intuitive eating approach: eat what you want, when you want it. Our bodies know to seek out the variety of nutrients that they need to function, and proponents of intuitive eating explain that paying close attention to your cravings will naturally lead to a nutritious diet. When it comes to gauging how much food your body requires, it’s far easier to eat until you’re satisfied than it is to count and track calories.

Don’t Demonize Macronutrients

Popular as the keto diet may be, there’s no evidence that a low-carb diet is any healthier than one that includes a balance of all macronutrients. The same goes for low-fat diets. A 2020 review of 121 previously conducted, randomized controlled trials published in The British Medical Journal found that none of the diets limiting certain macronutrients like carbs or fats are any more effective at improving health than a regular, varied diet.

Still, it’s common to demonize certain carbs or fats, even if you aren’t on a particular diet. Maybe you pass on the bread basket because you don’t want to eat too many carbs, or always use nonstick cooking spray instead of oil because you’re wary of adding too much fat to a meal. Soto says this isn’t necessary. All three macronutrients play an important role in health and function. The Dietary Guidelines for Americans recommend getting anywhere from 45 to 65 percent of your calories from carbs, 10 to 35 percent from protein, and 20 to 35 percent from fat. There’s a lot of wiggle room there. Most people’s intake already falls within these ranges, so striking the perfect balance of macros day after day isn’t something you should overthink.

You Don’t Need to Burn Anything Off

Food is more than just a source of energy, Chan says. “We eat food for so many reasons, and it’s important to honor those,” she says. “We connect with our culture through food, we connect with others over a good meal, and we eat for pleasure and nostalgia, all of which supports overall well-being.” But the idea that you must earn food with a grueling workout is still pervasive.

Trying to compensate with exercise when you feel you’ve eaten too much can have a significant negative impact on your quality of life, Chan says. At worst, it sets into motion a cycle of overeating, compensating, and overeating again. Instead of beating yourself up, or trying to atone for eating more than feels comfortable, just let your body do its thing and digest. You’ll feel fine again soon, and chances are you’ll feel less hungry later on.

Yes, there’s nuance here. Food still fuels movement, and there’s nothing wrong with adjusting your intake accordingly when you’re training. The important thing is to not be too rigid or punish yourself for eating too much. A strict calories-in, calories-out approach to fueling isn’t very effective anyway. There’s strong evidence refuting the popular idea that eating 3,500 calories leads to one pound of weight gain, and equally strong evidence that fitness trackers are notoriously terrible at measuring the actual number of calories burned during a workout.

Be Mindful and Flexible

“Ditching food rules opens the door for nutritious foods, not so nutritious foods, and everything in between to be enjoyed,” Chan says. The goal isn’t to give up on good nutrition but to make it less stressful and more sustainable. If your intention is to feel your best, be mindful of how different foods affect your mood and energy levels. Use that to guide what you choose to eat, instead of sticking to black-and-white rules that set you up for failure.

via Outside Magazine: Nutrition