#i have no idea when my computer is going to die again while i wait for my new one

[luimagines]

I was debating on putting this here or not, but I want to ramble about kid! chain and the post prob isn't coming out til like May.

I feel like since we have Ocarina of Time you pretty much already know what time was like as a kid, so I'm just gonna restate it. He is a kid with a good heart that really wants to help and fit in with the other kokiri. I don't know if it's canon that he got bullied for his nose (I'm guessing it's just a pop hc bc of the fucking size in game), but he's prob pretty sensitive about it once he gets old enough to understand insecurity, which breaks my heart, I just want to give that poor kid a smooch and tell him that he's perfect the way he issss. He was also raised by the kokiri so he's a little snot at heart, you are not immune to pranks unfortunately. He always starts giggling when he knows he's got you so you always know it's him, but as he gets older his poker face gets better. He's lucky he's cute.

Twilight like his predecessor has a heart full of gold. He loves helping out other people and feeling important! Especially protecting younger kids like Colin. I bet he would help Russel around the rancho, even if he was too small to really do much of anything, he could feed the cucoos at least (he got attacked by one when he accidentally swung the feed bucket a bit too close. I'm a mix in-between Russel having to haul him out of the coop and Twi hauling ass outta there. Twilight's not a quitter though so he's was prob back at it like 2 weeks later, now with ✨adult supervision✨. Adult Twi is still afraid of them tho). Just imagine! Little guy Twi! With an adorable little country accent!!

Warriors is the kid with a hyper fixation. He is the kid that will absolutely ramble to you about his favorite dinosaur and how inaccurate certain movies are. He will play pretend knights, he will get a bunch of scrapes, he will brush them off. I imagine that his dad if he had parents would also be a knight in the kingdom (like Four's and legend's), that's why he became a knight in the first place, he wanted to make his dad proud and you can bet that little warriors would sing his praises to high heaven. I feel like if wars thought you were cool he'd be more of a 'hey watch what I can do' kinda kid, you better clap and praise that baby like he just raised mount lanayru I Don't care how unimpressive his trick was.

Wild!! My beloved! Wild is difficult bc of the whole 'I was a completely different person before I was killed 100 years ago' thing so I'm just gonna ignore it and base it off of current Wild. Wild lives up to his name quite a bit. This is the bitch that ate bugs. He knows all of the coolest spots, and where exactly to get em too. He would be outside sun up to sundown if he could. He was definitely a handful to his parents because you better believe he put anything and everything in his mouth, just to satisfy his curiosity. Wild has a pretty good ability to climb, so I'd say even regarding canon he climbed trees pretty frequently. I'd bet even more that he swung from the branches, fell, and broke his arm too. I'd say bc of Hyrule's healthcare you can still feel a bump/divit where the break was, if not one of Wild's arm being longer than the other. Despite all of this, he loved helping his family in the kitchen (I also hc Wild's dad being a knight, so it would prob be a mom or grandparent). While I don't think he had a particular favorite parent, he loved learning new recipes with his mom and sister and he also loves tasting the food. The scene coming into my mind is the one scene in the princess and the frog of Tiana making gumbo for the neighborhood. Wild is a kid that cries his soul out, y'know, the ones where they cry and then there's that long pause where they have no more air, before they start back up again. Lastly, If we're doing long-haired Wild, I don't think he liked getting his hair touched by anyone other than his family, and even then some days he's just not feeling it and would run away until nightfall tf is he a werewolf?.

Hyrule I imagine was raised by fairies, so that mf is cheeky. Like I said (and forgot to include with Wild's) this kid bites! And it hurts! I feel like he only bites if he feels that a boundary of his is being crossed (mainly unwanted touches). Despite the feral behavior, he's a really cute kid! It's a mix between the chubby cheeks of being a kid, his fairy nature, and the fact that he's a really sweet kid! I feel like he would be the one to have a lisp bc of a gap in his teeth that just couldn't be fixed. To add into the trend, I think Hyrule is a kid that immediately tries to get comfort when he cries, just buries his face in the great mother's shoulder and boohoos until he falls asleep. He really loves sweets, even as an adult he does now, but if he smelled any on you, you now have a second shadow, and this kid will not look away from where they are being kept. They're like a bartering tool at this point, 'ill give you these sweets if you don't bite me while I do your hair'. By the way, I don't think Hyrule would like having his hair washed very much he wouldn't like the water getting in his eyes, only difference is he's much more vocal about it. If he likes someone though (mainly his family, I don't think Hyrule's Hyrule would have a lot of kids, esp not where he's prob hidden), he loves affection, practicality breathes it 24/7. I introduce you to kid #1 of sleeping in your bed and suddenly you wake up to a pair of tiny feet right in your face, and in a modern au I introduce you to kid #1 of calling his teacher mom

Sky, much like his adult counterpart, is a very quiet and sleepy child. I like the feral!sky hc of the people of Skyloft just...finding him in a loftwings nest one day and decided 'yep, close enough'. The loftwings refused to let anyone near Sky long enough to take him out of the nest, so he just stayed there for like 2 weeks before crawling out himself. Sky has heard this story be told to him so many times he's almost positive he can recite it in his sleep. He and Sun were best friends since childhood, so I imagine that the two were joined at the hip constantly. One was not seen without the other, and it became Sun's job to bring Sky to any important event bc he a) wouldn't remember or b) would sleep in. I think while he would be pretty affectionate (bc I think skyloftians in general were), he would also be perfectly content (and sometimes even prefer) hanging out by himself, though mainly he's just sleeping or hanging out with the loftwings. I also think that it would be a rule in skyloft to watch where you step, bc I think Sky has a pretty nasty habit of falling asleep in the most inconvenient spaces. He's essentially that kid asleep on the coat pile while there's an entire party going on downstairs. To end it off, I think Sky is one of those kids that just oozes snot when they cry. I introduce you to kid #2 of sleeping in your bed and suddenly you wake up to a pair of tiny feet in your face, and kid #2 of calling his teacher mom.

Four was already talked about, but bc I have one last crying hc left, I imagine four bawls like it's his last day, before either falling asleep for 6 hours or getting up and going about with a smile as if he didn't just give his dad/grandfather hell. Short but powerful, just like his stature.

Woah! What's this?! A secret, 3rd member of 'sleeping in your bed and suddenly you wake up to a pair of tiny feet in your face', it's Wind!! Yeah, those first couple of years were not kind to grandma at all, that's why he either sleeps by himself, or later on with Aryll (who I'm tempted to say does the exact same thing). I'm also tempted to say he's a sleep talker; it's mainly nonsensical words, but occasionally you can hear a particularly funny phrase. Wind's grandma writes them down and draws pictures to go with them inspirational quote style. He's a grandma's boy and loves to help her out, even with Aryll. I will hear people out on if they think differently, but for now I'm saying that Wind didn't really like Aryll until Aryll.. y'know..started doing something other than pooping and crying. He didn't hate her by any means, but she was boring, and she made his ears hurt esp when she started teething (he swears on that day that he's never having a baby). Once she started walking and trying to talk, he was there next to her 24/7 trying to get her to say his name. I think that he, like twilight, prides himself on being useful and protecting his family (from what? he couldn't say). He absolutely goes to get that mail, and to clean the dishes, and to get the groceries (though he does need a list, otherwise he will forget something, do worry he'll go back and get it!). I think, also like Twilight (bc I'm not going back and adding it), he's the crier who tries desperately to hide the fact that they're crying, just face completely red from the furious wiping at his tears that refuse to stop and loud sniffling. Finally, he's the type of kid to yell out no matter where they are 'Grandma!!' when he sees her, complete with the waving. He's grown out of it for the most part, but sometimes she looks at him and can still see the little boy with stars in his eyes happy that she's there.

Legend (aka the main reason why I did this entire post) despite the prickly personality now, was a really shy kid. He was the kid that hid behind his parent's/uncle's leg whenever other people were around (I heard that leg had a dad that was a knight, but also the uncle that died, and I simply refuse to do the Google search so y'know what he had both). I also think that he was the kid that hung out by himself picking up cool rocks and reading about magic instead of playing tag and pretend with the others kids (Alexa: play 'kids with autism' by Cupcakke) which worried his Uncle greatly. Y'know what, I'm gonna say this: if your name was Link, you probably really liked helping people from a young age, and legend was no exception. Bitch was an apple farmer before drawing the sword I think, so I imagine he would spent hours every day with his Uncle either picking apples, clipping the trees, or sorting them for sale vs making cider. Like Wild, I think that Legend would sometimes disappear the entire day finding cool areas to explore, only this time his entire meal that day would be the apples he picked from the orchard. Speaking of cool areas, Leg has a massive pile of cool things he found while exploring the forest, sometimes he even gives these 'treasures' to his family to show them that he loves them. I imagine Leg to be the kid that gets the hiccups after crying, as well as a sympathy crier. Finally, I hc leg as a child to be a bit of a sleepwalker, so the house doors needed to be latched at night. One time, he was so convincing his uncle didn't even know he was asleep until leg walked into a wall. Finally, Just like time (once again I refuse to go back), I hc young leg to hear a joke told and then find it so funny he just has to tell it to his family. Only, because he's so young, he either ruins the delivery by laughing at it too much, or completely forgets an important part and stumbled back to include it, killing the joke. You better laugh at his joke 🔫🔫.

eheheh... Kid! Chain is going to come out September at best, my guy ^.^* Sorry for the wait.

I've heard of Time being bullied for his nose but I figured he was bullied by other Kokiri because he was the only kid without a fairy. But yes, I do think that he was a major prankster. There is no escape or mercy for any one. XD

Twilight would also be a bit strong for his age. And I bet being the only one in Ordon with his ears, he would be a bit insecure once he realizes it. Poor thing. Adult supervision with the cuccos though. XD A needed intervention. He's a brave boy he can do it.

Oh my goodness baby Warrior XD If he thinks you're cool, he's going to want all of your attention and approval. It's going to just be an endless cycle of "hey, look!" and then he just gives you the cheesiest smile because he didn't have anything to show you, he just wanted to smile.

Wild would virtually live in the trees by what you're saying. I read a fic where it was him and his dad and the kid was free to do virtually whatever he wanted. I wish I could remember the name of it. It was before the Calamity, told by the dad's point of view. If I find it again, I'll get to you on that because it's very bittersweet.

Oh no, Hyrule XD. Sweet are his ultimate motivation, but I agree with the clinginess of him. I headcanon him as someone who's always touching somebody since it's his #1 love language. Love it.

Sky just appeared one day is a headcanon that never fails to amuse me. XD Sky didn't have his first human interaction until he was like 3. someone had to teach this boy how to be a human at some point.

Four is the kid that makes it seem like the end of the earth if he didn't get what he wanted only be instantly distracted by the next thing and it's all right as rain.

Wind probably didn't like that Aryll was getting all the attention he was used to either. XD But then she said his name or did something cute when she saw him and big brother mode was activated.

I promise to laugh at Legend's joke ^.^* Or maybe his insistent giggles would get me to laugh instead and the joke never gets told. XD

[circeyoru]

Angelic Doctor _ Part 2

[Human!Alastor x Disguised Angel!Reader]

Part 1

Part 2 (here)

You tried. You really tried. You ignored that blood-red colour his soul had and tried to change him, maybe even turn it into a lighter shard so he could be redeemed or saved in some other way. But there was a reason why that blood-red colour was such a dread to Angels like you, it was dreaded for the known reason that that mortal was an evil person. One that was barely forced to do evil, unlike those with criminal parents or cultists led down a wrong path. No, no, no. These people were the ones who picked their fate and enjoyed it

You had thought Alastor’s kindness and caring persona shown to you would help you persuade him to turn over a new leaf, but he merely favoured you and that was that. No benefits for you to take advantage of that would change the dark person he was

Alastor noticed your advances. Was it to get him into Heaven? Dear, you are so pure and adorable! Words can’t describe it! He was doomed to Hell the moment his shock turned to excitement at his first kill which was his father! Instead of getting him to Heaven, he wants to bring you down to Hell with him

He thought that spending the remainder of his time on Earth with you was enough, but it wasn’t. The more he spent his time with you, the more he wanted to keep you to himself. A darling just for him and his interest only

He started small, asking you out on days off or break time, taking you to visit local cafes he thinks are good or needs a companion to go for those pair offer deals. Then it started to grow, he’d take you to work, walk you back home as he insisted that the streets were dangerous since the cops had yet to catch that deadly killer, even wait for your breaks to come so that he could have a meal with you. He knows you’re a busy person, being a doctor that everyone relied upon and trusted and all that goodness

Originally, he thought your goodness and kindness were a facade to draw people in or a way to earn people’s gratitude towards you. Yet in his time with her, you remained constant, sure there were moments where you let out some steam and vent, but otherwise you were the perfect opposite of him. This just solidifies his fear that the two of you will be apart after one of you dies, forever

In a desperate attempt, he tried binding your soul to his so that even when you die first and go to Heaven, the moment he dies and is dragged down to Hell, you’ll join him. Vice versa

That when he found out you’re not even human. You were a literal Angel

You were made aware of Alastor’s attempt since your angelic powers activated themselves in the middle of the night while you were peacefully asleep. Your wings were summoned and your hair turned white as your halo appeared over your head. At the foot of your bed, you found Alastor with a spellbook of some kind. Around your bed was the setting of some ritual

Betrayed by your kindness, you rushed out of Alastor’s manor that he offered to you during the Great Depression that brought so much suffering. In a twisted turn of event, your time was up and your opportunity came in the form of a lightning shock. Thus, your return to Heaven after your journey on Earth in the city of New Orleans

Alastor barely had the time to compute the failed soul binding, then there was your angelic self, but the most devastating realization was your death. Of course, he knew you weren’t dead, but you’re as good as dead because he would never see you again. You’d be above and he’d be below. He’d never be able to contact you. Never

In a fit of uncontrollable rage and despair, he went on a murder spree. His clean-up getting more and more sloppy until he was cornered and killed by the pack animals that were called the loyal friends of humans

Note: A bit short, but that's all I got. I've seen a lot of Angel!Reader oneshots or headcanons or imagines and had to do one myself. It was fun but a bit short compared to my other ones ╚(″⚈ᴗ⚈)╗

P.S. I have no idea where you guys come from! Thanks for the support!! ( ´•ᗨ•`)っ ♡

Circe Y.

MASTERLIST

[iam93percentstardust]

It's not just the commodification of fandom. It's not just the disinterest in wips in favor of completed stories. It's not just the unwillingness to take chances on new writers.

It's the demand for instant gratification too.

I'm posting a "wip" right now. It's actually a fully completed story, and I stated that in the A/N when I started posting it a few weeks ago. I finished writing it early in December. It's not going to be abandoned and discontinued. Short of a tragic accident, it will 100% be posted in its entirety before the end of January.

It's also almost 60k words long. Each chapter is approximately 14k words. That's a lot to expect people to read quickly, so I made the decision to post weekly instead of dumping it all at once. I don't normally do that for wips. I normally post bimonthly to give myself time to write the next chapter. But in concession to the fact that this one is already finished, I decided to post once a week. Could I have posted it all at once or even once a day? Sure, but again, I have more than a few close friends who are slow readers, and I thought it was better to give people the time to read each chapter and let it digest before dumping another one on them instead of making them feel like they have to read it immediately so they don't miss the next update.

This, apparently, was a mistake.

I've been very open about working on this fic since I started it in September. People told me they were excited to get the chance to read it every time I posted an update about where I was in the writing process. When I announced that I was posting it, they told me that they couldn't wait to read it. It's not like I was expecting massive numbers of kudos and comments; this fandom has shrunk in size and engagement, I'm not the most popular writer in it, and I try not to feel entitled to engagement, but considering all the people telling me they were excited for it, I was expecting something.

Instead it was crickets. All those people who were so excited and told me they couldn't wait to get home to read it? That was the last I heard from them, unless it was to express outright incredulity that I expected them to read a work in progress. "It's not a work in progress!" I protested. "I'm just taking a little longer to post it!" Yeah, but it's not posted all in one go, so why should we bother to read it? We'll just wait until the end of January once it's finished. "Will I hear from you then? Will I get any indication at all that you liked it?" Eh, maybe. If we feel like it. But it'll only be one comment at the very end. If that.

This keeps happening. If it's not an already completed chaptered fic that I'm posting over time instead of immediately, then it's an idea that I had first talked about a while ago but took a couple months to write only to be met with silence once I start posting because everyone moved on and forgot about it. If it's not ready to go right now in all its fully finished glory and all 60k words posted immediately after I first spoke about it, then why am I talking about it at all? Why should I expect people to be waiting in anticipatory eagerness?

I remember when I posted my first Christmas event fic in 2020. It was already finished too when I started posting it. I'd been talking about it all year. People had seemed really excited for it when I first mentioned it, but then interest seemed to die out somewhere around August. By the time I started posting it in late November, I was fully convinced that no one was going to read it. I actually posted the first chapter and then immediately turned my computer off and didn't let myself turn it back on until the next day.

I was shocked by the number of readers I had. The number of comments. The sheer amount of people telling me they'd been waiting on tenterhooks for me to post that first chapter. And it kept coming. People were talking and theorizing and marking their conversations with spoiler bars for anyone who hadn't read the latest chapter. People timed when I posted the first few chapters so they could be waiting by their computer for when I dropped the next one. I was randomly gifted art. It was really an event, and I'll always be grateful for the support and community I was given for that month.

I never believed I'd ever be able to capture that kind of readership again, and I was right, and that's okay. But when I posted last year's Christmas event fic, for the first time since I started doing this in 2020, someone asked me why I bothered to space it out over a month instead of just posting the entire thing in one go on Christmas Day and how could I possibly expect them to be that invested for an entire month instead of just waiting until it was finished. I didn't know how to tell them that only three years prior, that's not only exactly what people did but they were excited for it to be like that.

If I'm not going to post my already completed fic in one lump sum right now, then the audience for it is nonexistent. And the audience won't grow once it's finished. It's like I have one opportunity to capture the readers and if they weren't willing to take the chance on the first chapter, then they'll never come back. It's disheartening, to say the least. Only six months ago, I was telling a friend that I thought this was my forever pairing, that I'd still be writing for this ship when I was old and grey. And now I'm going through my ideas folder, wondering what can be repurposed for other ships, because I increasingly feel not just that I'm shouting into a void but that the void is actively ignoring me.

I can't post wips because what if I abandon them or take too long to update? I can't post a chaptered fic in one go because that's too many words to expect people to read. But I can't space out posting completed chaptered fics either because everyone wants the instant gratification of the full fic right now. So what am I supposed to do?

I miss December 2020, but it's not the random art that I miss or the kudos or the number of comments. It was the community that built up around this fic. It was knowing that it was okay to space out the chapters because everyone was still right there with me, talking and theorizing and using their spoiler bars. It was my audience trusting me enough to come along with me for the ride instead of waiting for me to be done. I was so scared back then that the full year between me first talking about the idea and posting the first chapter had lost me my audience, scared that they'd all forgotten about me and moved on to other authors who were quicker to post, but I wish I'd known that three years later, it would only take four months for people to lose interest in an idea.

I'd have treated December 2020 like it was way more special than I did.

[angsty-twihardxx]

Hi🥀,

I was wondering if you can write Tommy has reader sit in front of a mirror and Tommy is behind reader. He decides to finger reader in front of the mirror while having reader being forced to watch themselves by holding reader by the throat. He makes them come a couple of time and the reader squirts to. Also, he praises reader a lot, does nipple play, a lot of neck kisses, and giving reader hickey’s

A/N: This drove me insaaaane, I just had to do it to em, I’ve added this to a lil series with inexperienced reader. It can be read as its own stand alone fic, bit it also works as a sequel to the first, Riding Lessons.

Anyway I hope this tames you horny beasts, plz feel free to send me some more smut ideas/requests for this sexy Texan. No use of y/n. My apologies if this is crap, I’m just built that way ig *shrugs

Warnings: 18+ (minors go play Fortnite or sm) smut obvi, fingering, reader squirts good for her. Idk if this is deserves a warning but reader is very new to sex, but its okay because Tommy is very reassuring. Mentions of body issues, talk of not feeling good enough that kinda jazz. But again don’t worry Tommy makes ya feel good. Ya‘lol are beautiful and ily

P.S: My computer decided to die so we have to do this on mobile so wish me luck x

EYES ON ME | T.MILLER

*his lil smirk*

You thought that maybe you were having a panic attack by how tight your chest felt, your heart was beating way faster than you usually would first thing in the morning. Sitting up you wiped the thin layer of precipitation off your head, which usually only ever happened when you had a nightmare, which you definitely did not have.

Your thighs vibrated at the memory of your dream from before, Tommy’s warm grip that scratched against the soft doughy skin of your hips. His touch on you was hard, the polar opposite to what he had been the entirety of your relationship.

You didn’t realise how much you missed it, his thick fingers digging into you as he rocked your hips along his clothed thigh. Even though it had been nearly a week since the night of your first orgasm, it was all that you could think about. The way that your entire body shook as you were completely overwhelmed with pleasure, you wanted Tommy to make you feel like that again.

After stretching you rolled around to see his beautiful freckled face, but instead you were met with his cold pillow. The frown that began forming on your forehead weakened at the small crinkled piece of paper with his handwriting on it. ‘In town for breakfast, see you there.’

. . .

The morning air was still frosty despite the warm glow from the sun on your face and shoulders. Even though you were wrapped up in thick jackets, including one of Tommy’s very own button downs, you were still freezing. You found Tommy sitting on an old bench in front of large dining hall as he waited for you, his hands sat in his pockets as he turned to see you walking towards him. His moustache tipping upwards, returning your curt wave with a wide smile.

Everything just felt easier with him now, there was no sexual tension that was always weighing heavy on your shoulders every time he was around you. Not that there was any pressure ever with him, it was only ever pressure that you placed. On yourself out of fear.

There was no longer a voice in your head that pressured you into doing anything out of fear of being left for someone more experienced. None of that mattered now because the two of you were happy, you were happy. Even though you hadnt ‘gone all the way’, you still felt comfortable knowing that he would guide you.

His arm moved to wrap around your shoulders as you dropped down in the empty spot beside him, using his arm to pull you into his chest he pressed a soft kiss in your hair. “Here, managed to get one extra for you.” Tommy nudged your shoulder as he handed you the sandwich, still warm wrapped neatly in wax paper. Food came in plentifuls in Jackson, but if you wanted one of Maria’s freshly made sandwiches you’d had to get in early.

“Startin’ to think you might love her more than me.” Tommy chuckled to himself as he watched you devour the food like it was the first meal you’ve eaten in weeks, which was definitely not true. “Well I guess it comes down to your sandwich making abilities.” You quipped back in between bites.

“Looks like I don’t stand a chance.” Tommy pretended to pout before dropping his head into the crook of your neck. His moustache ticked the soft skin of your neck as he peppered you with kisses. “Oh baby, that reminds me, how did you sleep last night?” Tommy teased, knowing fully well how you slept. Only imagining what it was doing to you, when you sent stiff in his arms.

The main reason Tommy was up so early was due to the wet dream you seemed to be having. If neither of you had work today he would’ve done something about it.

Tommy adjusted himself, just the memory of your sleepy voice moaning his name had his blood rushing down to his dick. You were driving him insane, and you didn’t even have a clue. He cooed playfully as he watched your cheeks warm up, you simply nodded in response knowing that if you spoke your words would fail you.

“I sure hope so because I got a little plan for us tonight. How’s that sound baby? You up for another lesson?”

Your body stiffened as you felt his hand grasp tightly onto your thigh, darting your eyes around you checked to see if anyone was watching. Was he really doing this in the middle of town? “It’s alright darlin’ no one’s payin’ attention to us, what’d’ya say?” All you could concentrate on was how his breathe fanned against your ear as his rough hand tightened on your soft skin. All of it made your body crave him more, you couldn’t think of anything better. “I think that sounds perfect Tommy.” His grip on your leg softened, clapping against your denim jeans before standing up with a groan.

“Well in that case, I’ll see you tonight.” He sent a wink your way before turning to walk away, leaving you turned on to the max. He was going to be the death of you.

. . .

Your fingers rapped on top of the hardwood table as your eyes impatiently hovered by your front door, which remained unopened. As the hours ticked by, the more restless you were becoming. The second plate of food beside you had long gone cold, as did the arousal you had been harbouring onto all day.

You had now grown tired, after a long day working in the stables all you wanted to do was cuddle up with Tommy till you fell asleep.

You knew better than to be upset with him, he worked hard in Jackson. He made an effort to earn his keep, whether it was helping with patrols or assisting in construction. It made you happy knowing that he was finding his purpose in his new life, but it just felt at times that you were moved to the back burner.

It definitely didn’t help when you went upstairs to shower, you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. To say it was a kick in the guts was an understatement. Even though looks wasn’t a priority in the post-apocalyptic world, you couldn’t help feeling inadequate. Your skin was flushed after standing under the hot water. Your hair was always messy, you wondered what Tommy saw cause it surely couldn’t have been what you were currently looking at. Could it?

It was a dangerous rope you were balancing on, you knew you had better things to be worrying about than your own appearance. You wish you could stop.

That was how you ended up in your bed, wrapped up in blankets with a book in your lap. Reading the small print you tried to keep your mind busy, so you didn’t get yourself again. You were so enthralled by your book that you didn’t even hear your front door open.

Tommy leant against the door frame as he watched you. He noticed the frown forming on your forehead, and the way your bottom lip stuck out. He felt so bad being late home again, Tommy was never good at time management, or maybe it was the fact that he could never so no.

Right when he was finishing up the barn he was constructing, Maria had come by and asked to see if someone could come and fix the light in the projector at the cinema. He knew he should’ve just left it and gone home to you, but he knew the guilt would’ve eaten away at him.

You were alerted of his presence when he cleared his throat, you saw him propped against the doorframe. He sent an apologetic smile your way, his brows tipping upwards when your eyes met. “M’sorry I’m late baby, I got caught up with some work.”

“It’s alright. Dinners in the oven by the way.” You murmured with a tight lipped smile, hoping he wouldn’t notice your teary eyes. “Thanks darlin’ I’ll pack it up for tomorrow. Maria made us some food as a thank you— which reminds me. They got some pretty good movies they salvaged, some space one I reckon you’ll enjoy.” Tommy smiled like a happy child before retreating to the kitchen, which was pretty perfect timing because he missed the way your smile dropped.

‘It’s just Maria, you have nothing to worry about.’ You tried convincing yourself but it was no use. Your eyes already began to water, Maria was nice— you liked Maria.

Like a cruel monologue your mind gave you a list of reasons why she was better than you. To start she was confident, being in charge of an entire commune she was smart and well liked by literally everyone. So it would make sense that Tommy would like her too right?

“Hey everythin’ alright in here?” Tommy startled you as he was suddenly behind you on the bed. You quietly tried to wipe the tears from your cheeks. “Y-yeah I’m alright. M’sorry just tired.”

Tommy tilted his head in a frown, he knew you better than to believe you. “C’mon talk to me darlin’” His hand fell to give your thigh a gentle squeeze, contrasting his grip on you this morning. You would do anything to be in that moment with him again, not like now where his sad eyes watched you intensely.

“I- it’s nothin’ Tommy.” You tried to shrug him off again, but of course it didn’t work. He cocked a sceptical brow your way, you hated how well he knew you.

“It’s so stupid.” You groaned into your palms, so embarrassed of your own stupid brain working against you. “I just- I don’t know what it is you even like about me, I mean let’s be real I’m nothing like half the girls in Jackson and I—“

Tommy’s lips muted the worrying in your mind, his lips danced with yours. You pressed back on his lips, when you kissed him it felt like nothing else mattered to you. Not some teenage insecurities, Tommy was a man not a stupid teenage boy— and even better he was your man.

“Now where’s all this coming from, hm?” He brought his hand up to cup your cheek, his soft brown eyes peered up at you like you could tell him everything. You could tell him everything, but that could wait, right now you just wanted him.

“It doesn’t matter, can you just kiss me?”

“That I can do.” He chuckled before bringing his lips back onto yours. You pushed hard with a fever, the fire being ignited inside you again as a moan escaped your lips. His hands grasped your cheeks, pushing you even closer to him if that was even possible. Tommy lifted you to straddle on his lap, as instinct your hips grinder on his crotch. God you wanted him so badly.

“Didn’t you say you had a little lesson planned for me?” You breathed into him between hunger-filled kisses. Tommy looked up at you in what seemed to be a mix of surprise and excitement, never did he see you so confident, he loved it.

The glint of mischief in his eyes returned, he took your clothes off in a fever. Your eyes fell to the ground out of instinct, avoiding your reflection in the mirror. You suddenly became hyper aware of how vulnerable you were, Tommy had never seen you completely naked before. He offered to sit in between his lap on the edge of your bed. “Y’know I think you're beautiful right? I mean can you blame me?”

His large hands softly climbed up your side till his fingers danced along your shoulders as he moved the strand of hair that exposed the nape of your neck. You felt like a lightning bolt struck through your core as his lips sucked onto you softly.

You let out a moan as his free hand moved to grasp your entire breast in one hand, he kneaded the soft skin and the familiar feeling of arousal pooled in between your legs. Tommy noticed how your legs clenched when he flicked your now budded nipples. Soft moans mewled from your open mouth as your head fell back onto his shoulder.

“Nu-huh baby, I want your eyes on me.” Tommy tapped your cheek, bringing your attention back to the room. You looked at him confused, “But I- I am—“

“‘Not at me, me.” Tommy nodded his head towards the mirror in front of you- “‘Oh.”

“Can I try somethin’ else with you baby?” You felt a shiver down your spine as he whispered into your ear, his eyes met yours in the mirror. “What is it?”

Without answering Tommy pushed your knees to the side, exposing your eager pussy. “D’you trust me baby?”

“‘Yes.” You murmured as you felt your body tremble in nerves but also as much eagerness. There wasn’t anything you wanted more right now than Tommy’s hands on you.

Your skin burned as his rough fingers grazed the inside of your thigh, you followed his fingers in the mirror as he moved painfully slowly to where you needed him the most. Your hips bucked against his touch, showing him exactly where you wanted those fingers.

“So eager darlin’”

“Tommy please.” You whined as your back curving instinctively, rocking your hips against where his dormant fingers laid dangerously close to your exposed cunt.

You let out a surprised gasp, his thick fingers filled you up perfectly. He started off soft, slowly easing in his middle finger as he let you adjust to him. “H-holy shit Tommy.” You breathed as his free hand moved to slowly massage your aching clit. “Yeah? That feel good baby?” He smiled wickedly into your hair as you nodded frantically, pleasure already filling you up as your head dropped back onto his shoulder, but snapping your head up as you remembered his instructions. “Tell me how good it feels darlin’” Tommy’s voice was at least an octave lower, sending more chills down your spine.

“S’really fucken good Tommy.” You gasped as you felt his finger stretching you open, if this was how good it felt to have his fingers in you you could only imagine what his dick would feel like.

Pressure in your stomach began to build as his pace quickened. You felt your orgasm coming quicker then last time, you welcomed it as you rocked your hips involuntary pushing his finger in deeper.

“That’s it baby, y’doing so fucken good.” He brought his mouth down to suck at the soft skin on your neck, while his hand pumped into you relentlessly. “Tommy!” You screamed as you felt your orgasm unravel throughout your entire body, your pussy clenching around his finger as he kept going.

You were a shivering mess, only a mixture of whines and ‘oh my gods’ falling from your already parted mouth.

Your legs still trembled as Tommy soothed you, his hand brushing back the strands of hair that stuck to your forehead. “Good job baby, you did so good for me.” He cooed into your hair, pressing gentle kisses as your chest heaved.

That was when you realised, nothing else mattered. Tommy was the one making you feel this good, no one else. He cemented that as he repeated in your ear how much he loved you, his facial hair tickling your already sensitive skin as he did so. God you really did love this man, huh?

“Y’reckon you could go again for me?”

All you could was nod in response, your mind feeling like it was going a million miles a minute. He didn’t start straight away though, he was patient with you. He waited for your heart to start beating at a normal pace before bringing his fingers back to your aching hole, you watched as he added another finger.

Filthy moans filled the air as you adjusted to his extra finger inside you, you felt like you were being stretched open. Already your hips were shaking, his thick fingers felt like they were hitting your cervix. It was almost hypnotic, watching the way his fingers would disappear in between your folds before pulling back out just as swiftly.

His free hand remained glued to your now swollen clit, as he menacingly taunted it with his rough fingers. Only egging on your climax more and more.

No words fell from your lips anymore, Tommy had basically turned you into a writhing mess as your stomach tightened.

For a very brief moment it felt like you weren’t a world where you had to survive with Cordyceps and people that hunted and killed, it was simply you and Tommy in this room. That was how you wanted it.

The feeling was getting so intense you shut your eyes out of instinct. With your eyes closed you could concentrate on the way your hips rocked with each thrust of his hand, you knew you weren’t going to last long.

“Eyes up, I want you to watch.” Tommy growled as his free hand moved up to envelope your neck, not hard but enough to bring your head up to catch a glimpse of your position in the mirror. His thick fingers around you shouldn’t make you even more aroused, should it?

“Good girl.” He was going to be the death of you.

“Fuck!” Your eyes squinted shut as you felt the tight knot in your stomach unravelled again, but this time it was so much better. Almost like a gush erupted from you. Your ears rang as your eyes squinted shut, suddenly overly aware of the bright light that overhang your bed.

Your second orgasm in a row felt like a hundred times more intense, it felt like your whole body was vibrating. Like you were going a million miles a minute, or maybe it was the room that was spinning.

“You okay baby? You did so good for me.” His voice was soft as he turned to face you properly now, his eyes checked you over one last time. He looked at you with nothing short of amazement and you wish that he never stopped.

After a few seconds you came back to, your eyes just stuck to the ceiling as your chest heaved while you tried to catch your breath. Then you noticed the warmth pooling on your bedsheets, Tommy noticed your confusion and gave you a reassuring squeeze.

“You fucken squirted baby.” He breathed out in amazement.

“Bet you never knew you could do that.” Tommy hummed in amusement as he looked down to where he held you. Your cheeks were rosy as your half-lidded eyes connected with his, a dopey smile grew on his lips.

“If I did I would’ve brought a towel.” You couldn’t help the laugh that fell from your lips, amusement filling the room as the two of you chuckled together. You loved how easy it was for the two of you, even after he stole a second orgasm from you he could make you laugh. It was his Texan charm, according to Tommy but you knew it was just him.

“C’mon darlin’ let’s get you cleaned up.” He pressed a chaste kiss on your cheek before standing up with you in front of him, your legs quivered as you stood up for the first time in what felt like forever. “Tommy? I don’t think I can walk.” You looked up at him with worry, was this normal?

“It’s okay baby, it means I’m doing my job right.”

He thought about what you were saying when he found you crying in your bed, how you didn’t know what he saw in you. There was never just one singular thing, a multitude of reasons that he loved you. And the fact you didn’t see a reason why he would love you dumbfounded him. He was going to do everything in his power to make sure you knew.

[maccaronimassacre]

Resident Evil bot dump #4

I was originally planning on posting these after C.ai fixed their user interaction bug but considering its almost been a whole month since the bug first appeared and they still haven't fixed it I simply caved in. On another note though, one of my Ethan bots has hit over 130k interactions which is insane! I appreciate the support and I'll try my best to keep those bots coming. Feel free to make requests for any bot ideas you have <3

STARS!Chris Redfield x Reader

Chris quickly ushers you inside the S.T.A.R.S office, shoving you inside before barricading the door with a metal cabinet. “Jesus that was close!” Chris exclaims while resting his back against the cabinet's frame to catch his breath. You can hear the licker’s claws scratch and tear at the door before it lets out a growl in frustration and stalks away. It looks like you can relax. For now anyway…

STARS!Chris Redfield x Reader

The only noises that can be heard in the Spencer Mansion are your footsteps and the occasional creaks and groans of the hardwood floors underfoot. With the serum for the snake poison in hand, you can only pray that you make it back to Chris in time to cure him. Eventually you find yourself back at the intersecting hallway where Chris’ unconscious form lies. He is sweating and breathing heavily, the bite wound on his forearm now swollen and red with irritation.

Chris Redfield x Reader

When you asked Chris for some tips on how to improve your aim you were expecting a couple of pointers or maybe a demonstration. Instead, Chris has his arms around your body with one arm on your waist and the other under your elbow, gently guiding it up with his hand. His chest is pressed up tightly against your back and you can feel his breath roll against your ear in hot steady waves. “There we go, that’s better. Now aim and fire, {{user}}”.

IT!Ethan x Reader

What is supposed to be a normal day at the office has already turned into a nightmare when your computer just so happens to stop functioning. Fortunately for you, a member of the IT department walks over to your cubicle and lets out a heavy sigh when he looks at your screen. “So have you tried turning it on and off again?” He asks with minimal enthusiasm and a slight hint of sarcasm while adjusting the cuffs of his shirt.

Ethan Winters x Reader

“You got all that, babe?” Your partner Ethan asks, glancing over to you before shifting his eyes back onto the road ahead. He was just rambling about the itinerary for today and has been looking forward to spending some more time with you and Rose. He figured that a day out to an amusement park would be the perfect way to kick back and have fun. Rose seems to be quite excited too with the way she is bouncing enthusiastically in the car seat, holding her monkey plushie tightly.

Dead!Ethan Winters x Dead!Reader

What happens after we die? Some say heaven, other say it’s an endless abyss. Yet you stand here in the midst of a frozen and desolate landscape. In the distance there is a man who stands alone, quietly staring off into space with glassy red rimmed eyes in deep contemplation. His left hand looks like it’s been eroded away, almost as if he’s made out of stone. “You are part of the mutamycete.” Despite his voice being a quiet whisper, you can hear the slight tremble in his words.

Fifth Lord!Ethan Winters x Reader

Before you stands the man Mother Miranda declared to be the fifth lord of the village. He steps towards you with black raven wings flapping behind him before folding back up into his body. “Who are you, and what is your purpose here?” The man’s voice is low and holds no hint of emotion. He dons red eyes with yellow pupils that pierce straight through your soul as if he’s judging you. Waiting for you to speak.

Leon Kennedy x Officer!Reader

With Leon Kennedy joining the Raccoon City Police Department, Lieutenant Branagh figured you’d be the right officer for the job of welcoming and showing Leon around the city. And that’s how you’ve ended up here, casually patrolling the bustling streets of Raccoon with the blonde rookie in tow who currently is nose deep in a tourist pamphlet about the Arklay County. His eyes are filled with intrigue as he reads about the city’s rich history.

Dead by Daylight!Leon x Reader

A heavy fog rolls over the forest, submerging you in complete darkness. One minute you were in the middle of the woods, the next you find yourself by a large campfire that illuminates your new and unfamiliar surroundings. A variety of strangers sit by the heatless flames, bloodied and bruised yet waiting for something. Something to happen maybe? One of them looks up at you, a man with dirty blonde hair and sapphire eyes flashes you a warm grin and pats the space on the log next to him.

Resident Evil Bot Masterlist

[marilynthornhilllover]

When you call my name. Do you think ill come running? {Chapter 3}

+ see what you wanna see but all I see is her right now

+ your love seems so fake

Warning: indecent language, fear, attempt murder, burning of house, phone call, blood, injury, depression, anxiety, rage/hatred/anger, kidnapping, cage holding, grief, abuse,starve,Voilance, sadness, mother miranda, slight fluff. etc .

Want to read part 2? : part 2

The day was going by very smoothly. You were down to your second shift for the day. The sun was setting and it gaved the castle a beautiful orange hue color. Your second shift was to organize the books in the library. You took off your apron and headed up stairs. On your way up you met Elizabeth. You gaved her a small smile as you walked pass her.

"Oh y/n before you start your second shift the lady requested your presence" she said as continued walking. Your smile dropped and you stopped in your tracks. Again?. You sighed frustrated as you had an idea what she wanted to talk about. You pressed the elevator button and got in. On your way up you couldn't help but think of your mothers plan that was happening later tonight.

It was dangerous and very stupid. There was no way she was going to get away unnoticed. Her marvelous plan was to burn down house dimitrescu. A way of having alcina feel what it's like to feel pain and die. Although she knew she knew alcina was immoral she still insisted. It's like telling a three year old that the mall closes on Sundays. If she did this, alcina would know that someone from the village started the fire and if she couldn't get the culprit. Innocent will pay for the guiltys.

Ding

The elevator door opens pulling you out of your thoughts. You wiped your sweaty palms on your uniform and walked slowly towards the lady's office door. It was Slightly ajared. You sighed before bringing your hand up to knock. When you got no response you slowly went in. There was no one in there...

Her study was empty but it smiled like her. The fire at fire place heavily ablazed. You looked around to make sure this wasn't some trick but the office was indeed empty. You huffed as you turned around to walk out but was stopped with another ding sound. It wasn't the elevator... no it was a notification sound. You narrowed your eyes and turned around again, making sure to look around the room before slowly walking up to alcinas computer.

You rounded her table and stood directly infront of her computer, bending slightly you squint your eyes to read fancy words in red.

Test subject successfully aimed

Test subject? You heard water running before it was turned off making you jump out of your skin. You quickly went back to standing behind the chairs infront of her desk. When she emerged from the bathroom her eyes gleamed at you. She smiled softly at you but when you didn't return it she dropped it slightly. She looked at you for a while studying your facial expression and your heartrate.

Her eyes glanced over at her computer and saw the notification from mother miranda, she mumbled a soft 'shit' to herself before walking over to it and closed it down. She glanced back at you and cleared her throat.

" my apologies for keeping you waiting draga, there's someone on the phone for you.... I believe it's your mother" she said taking a seat at her desk. She could see the change in your facial expression and she knew something was up. At a slow pace you walked up to the phone and placed it at your ear.

"Mom?" You spoke softly.

"Yes, y/n hi are you in private?" She asked. You glanced over at alcina who immediately darted her eyes to her papers and pretended she wasn't looking at you. You huffed and closed your eyes refocusing yourself.

" no I didn't steal your lip gloss before I was coming mom" you answered smartly. Alcina knew that it was a cover up answer but she minded her own business. After all even she has secrets.

" look I'm outside in the forest I'm gonna make my moved now" she said grunting.

" What the fuck mom" you whispered, you glanced back at alcina and slightly moved away from her desk to make more privacy for the conversation.

" look I changed my mind ok, so call it off"

"Not a fucking chance y/n have you gone completely NUTS??. DID SHE GET TO YOUR HEAD HUH? BRAINWAHSED? GIVE YOU PILLS-" she started shouting over the phone and you had to put in on your shoulder so alcina couldn't hear the fed back.

" no but this is very dangerous mom. I'm trying to protect you. There's this woman called mother miranda who's very evil, blessed by some black god with powers and I'm scared that if you do this she will hunt you down, find you and it will not end well for you.... so mom please stay away from this castle. I'm in here, I'm safe but your out there and plus alcina is a good woman" you spoke.

There was a long pause over the phone, like she was processing what you just said. What you said at the end...... alcina is a good woman.

" you listen to me little girl I don't know what that pale ass bitch did to your brain but may I remind you that this woman your defending killed your friends. You were terrified y/n, for God's sake you blamed yourself! All thoses years of therapy for something you couldn't unsee. I dont care what powers this miranda cock sucking bitch has but I rather die than cancel this mission" she spoke firmly. You heard her sigh in frustration before clearing her throat.

" I love you y/n.... there's nothing I want more than for you to be safe. To be happy and free. So I am doing this with or without you" she said before hanging up the phone. You stood there completely hopeless. You didn't if you wanted to run or to hide. Or maybe its that you just wanted to disappear. You placed the phone back on its holder and turned around.

Alcina smirked at you before looking back down at her papers.

" what are you smirking at" you asked in a playful tone folding your arms.

" I believe you stole her lip gloss draga" she chuckled looking back up at you.

" Oh well you don't have proof of that do you, my lady" you responded laughing lightly, it was music to her ears. Hers eyes beamed at you before she looked away again.

"What did you say my lady?" You asked, narrowing your eyes, she looked back up at you confused shaking her head.

" I didn't say anything" she spoke softly. Her answer was firm yet her eyes spoke another answer. Another language. While our mouths can lie our heart and eyes can't. And when she looks at you, you can tell she's on the verge of saying 'I love you'. You found it silly that a woman who lived for over a thousand years could still have feelings.... still have a heart. But in you she found her hope.

You gaved her a small smile before walking out her office. You decide to take the stairs so you could take the short cut and get to the library faster, after all you were already late to your second shift.

As you were walking down the hall you saw Leah. You huffed and tried to avoid her but she just has this way of annoying people.

" hey newbie can you take the trash outside for me please?" She asked rather.... nicely. You looked at her and you could see that she's been working hard, her eyes showed nothing but sympathy and need of pity. She was eye pleading with you. Yet she called you 'newbie' such a stuck up.

" fine" you said a smile creeping up your face as you took the bag from her. She started grinning from ear to ear and her eyes sparked. She kissed your cheek and ran off like a little kid who final got to play on the swings. You shook your head and chuckled, maybe after all the bully does has her worst days.

You soon realized that this was the perfect opportunity to go out and see your mother. You ran like never before to the front door. As soon as you got outside you immediately threw the trash away and ran into the forest. You saw your mom and immediately jumped onto her. She yelped as you both fell to the floor.

" I didn't know I raised a monkey but it's good to know" she said sarcastically smiling at you. You rolled your eyes and got off her, standing to your feet you dusted off the dirt and grass of your body. You mom stood and looked at you closely.

" you got fat" she spoke smiling.

" Oh please, it's nice to see you too" you said putting your hands on your hips.

" I'm just joking.... you look different. Like a grown up. You definitely don't need me no more. You've got big scary vampire lady. Has she been drinking you?" She said pointing her finger in your face. You chuckled and pushed it away.

" no ma'am, and I still need you, you crazy house burning lady" you said as you both began laughing.

Boom

You quickly got down unto your knees and covered your head. That's when the smell of smoke invaded your senses. You glanced up at the castle to see it in flames. You looked over at your mom to see her smiling wickedly. Alcinas castle was probably the entire state of America, it was huge so it would take a while for the fire to spread.

" you just cost us our fucking lives ma" you shouted. She turned to look at you putting her hands to either side of your face.

" atleast its worth it" she whispered before pulling you by your hand and running. You couldn't help but look back at the castle. How many lives she just put a risk. alcina, her girls and the workers. This was a huge mistake. And mother miranda will make sure to make you both pay for it. This wasn't right and it was far beyond wrong. Tears welled up in your eyes as you mumbled 'fuck' before turning to look up ahead before you fall.

●●●

When you arrived home your mom locked the doors and started laughing like a maniac.

" that should teach her" she said pouring herself a glass of wine.

" yep and just a matter of time before mother miranda shows up here with the most painful revenge" you mumbled. Alcina may have killed your friends but this was not a good way to resolve things, because not only did this make things worse but now your just like her. Evil. You don't out fire with fire.

Your mom mumbled a 'yeah right' before going to her room. You sighed as you went to yours and took a nap.... maybe when you wake up this can all be a bad dream and you never knew alcina and your friends are still alive.

●●●

You wake up to a sharp cold metal being dragged on the flesh of your thigh. You whined as it seemed to dig deeper into your tender flesh the more it reached your lower abdomen. You stirred in your sleep before you fully woke up. You felt the blanket being pulled off you and a a pair of hands push your thighs apart to fit between them. This has to be a dream.....

You open your eyes but your vision wasn't the best. The room was dark and you were still half asleep.

You reached over and turned on your night lamp and that's when you saw her. You quickly sat up against the headboard. Infront of you was a woman dressed in a very long black dress, gold and black cloak over it. She had blonde hair in a black vail with the prettiest blue eyes. her skin was pale but yet she still holds the beautiful of a teenager. Her eyes were as blue as the ocean, deep and mesmerizing. She had eyes of a siren But in them you found pure evil and curses.

That's when you realized who was sitting infront of you. Mother miranda. Your breath hitched as she brought her metal finger cover to your chin and traces a line from your jaw right down to your chin. She studied you, keeping an intense gaze as she tilted her head to the side.

" who knew such small fly could do such loud buzzing" she whispered. Her voice cold yet it was soft. You looked at her with a horrified look. You were scared for your life. What did she do to your mom?

" are you sacred little one,?" She asked faking a pout before chuckling softly.

"Please don't hurt me and my mom" you whispered, voice breaking as tears threaten to drop. Miranda put on a sad/worried expression before caressing your cheek softly.

" hurt you? I wouldn't hurt a fly" she whispered smiling softly as she winked at you. She suddenly put on a serious facial expression and looked you dead in the eyes, her blue eyes ripping through your soul.

" don't worry... since you like playing with fire let's see how much you can with stand the heat" that was the last thing you heard before you randomly blacked out. You could hear her laughing like a crazy mental hospital person as you loss control of your surroundings completely.

You woke up later to yourself chained to a med bed. You slowly opened your eyes to see lots of light and jars with weird looking organs. You started fighting against the restraints but it was no use. You started to sob softly. How did your life get to this point...

"Oh look alcina our test subject is awake" the voice was familiar. Cold and sharp yet high pitched, a voice that didn't match the body of its being.

You looked up to see mother Miranda's once blue eyes staring down at you. She had a evil smirk of her face and her once blue eyes were now pitch black. The scene was very terrifying, on instinct you started fighting against the chains again. Mother miranda pouted and grabbed your wrist harshly, her sharp blade finger covers digging into your flesh.

You cried out in pain. You could feel the blood dripping down your arm. You opened your eyes and looked up at her. Tears clouded your vision.

" don't cry, my love, it's all going to be ok. Right alcina?" She cooed. You quickly followed her eye line where you met alcinas gaze. You never thought you would see a woman who feared no one or nothing so.... scared and sad. She had a look of regret and pity. Like she wanted to help you but she knew in seconds she'd be in your position as well.

More tears came out of your eyes as you realized that you were truly helpless.

" PLEASE ALCINA PLEASE TELL HER IM GOOD! PLEASE" you shouted pulling against the restraints more, hurting yourself in the action. She hated to see you like this, she couldn't bear seeing you like this. It broke a heart she didn't even know she had. Scared a soul she didn't know she owned. Her eyes filled with tears as she left the room slamming the door.

"ALCINA NO, ALCINA PLEASE! ALCINA!!! ALCI" you cried Turing back to look at miranda with pleading eyes. She laughed at your pathetic act. Never has she seen someone so terrified of her. She loved the smell of fear that was radiating off you and she was going to use it to her extent.

" a man who cries for his lover is also a man who'd die for his lover" she spoke softly caressing your cheek and moving hair off your sweaty forehead.

" I wonder if your fragile little body could take the cadou?" She whispered kissing your forehead. She smiled wickly before picking up a needle. You shook your head tears forming in your eyes again.

" no, no miranda please liste-, NO ALCINA .WAIT! NO ALCINA PLEASE. ALCINA I LOVE YOU PLEASE" you screamed. on the outside alcina broke down crying. She felt like beating herself up for not being able to help you. But no one gets pass miranda, not even the lords like alcina. Alcina loves you, so there for shes going to do everything in her power to save you, even if it means she has to die..... They say the world is cold. But it's a lie. The world isn't cold..... the world is infected by cold and cruel people.......

Tag list: @willalovexx @ilovehugslikealotalot @heidsworld @milkiedimitrescu @willowshadenox @enchantressb @moistblobfish @nclgsticore if your not in the tag list but want to be tagged in the next chapters comment below please!💞

[berrypass-de-murdler]

91. They Bill You Double for Dying

When I feel uncertain and anxious and then I see that people saw my stuff I feel much better immediately <3 <3

Because VALIDATION, my life force/jk

I'm happy to inform that ALL OF THE BOOK 1 CHARACTERS ARE DESIGNED

That's 68 characters total, from my very first Murdle drawing of Aureolin back in May to the Crystal Goddess, who was just finished yesterday.

On another note the Crystal Goddess is now my least favorite design and I find her worse than Sir Rulean. Fletch colored her but I drew this monstrosity and uh you have been warned.

Nuh

Why is she another fish woman

Why are there so many of those

My original idea in my head actually was a lot less horrifying but Fletch insisted that she needed these creepy lips and NSJFSDCKSDN I hate her :'D KAY AT LEAST SHE'S NOT IN THIS EPISODE MOVING ON

DON'T READ THE EPISODES UNTIL YOU'VE FINISHED THE FIRST BOOK!!

Logico needs to do something he does not want to do.

He has to drive.

LOGICO: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT ANOTHER CAR!!! [mature sobbing]

He has to go to a new law firm, because he HAS to get out of this stupid contract. No more fucking around in Hollywood with his stupid boss and his stupid film crew - he’s not even PARTICIPATING in the movie. When he gets there (and kicks his rental car like a man), he sees the lobby, which is the size of an entire grocery store. That’s just the LOBBY!

LOGICO: Hahahaha, I can’t afford this. ???: LOOK MURDER! LOGICO: Fuck

Blaxton and Argyle followed him to the place!

LOGICO: WHAT DO YOU WANT?? BLAXTON: We knew you knew things, and we wanted them!! ARGYLE: Ay we want yer money.

Blackstone and Pine are also there.

PINE: [snort] Haven’t seen YOU in a while. BLAXTON: AND I JUST WANT TO FUCKING SIGN MY LIFE AWAY!!! LOGICO: All RIGHT, you already spoke.

BLAXTON: Get out of my life, I’m going to go drink coffee with that hot girl!!! I mean drink hot coffee, with the room-temperature girl - YOU UNDERSTAND!!!

Logi, fed up with the puppet man, gets statements.

PINE: Judicially, whoever had the antique- LOGICO: NO! Stop. Retry, but WITHOUT the character-relevant prefix. BLACKSTONE: I-I’ll give you my statement now and my bill later. LOGICO: Ohoho I am not paying you. BLACKSTONE: I’M SORRY MAN!! I’m just… I’m freaking out! Something just doesn’t feel right. I need… money??  LOGICO: Relax. It’s probably because this building is larger than is physically possible on the land surface available. 

Logi gets a really blunt email from Irratino and blushes anyway, because even his most basic words float like whipped cream.

LOGICO: [weird giggling]

But he figures out the truth!

LOGICO: AGENT ARGYLE! You weren’t following me, I was following you! You were here before I was, and you killed that random person! ARGYLE: HISSSSS!!! It wan’t a ‘RANDOM PERSON’! It was a LAWYER! I wanted another percentage point of a mutual client’s revenue. He disagreed. We negotiated, and long story short, he died. Is THAT A CRIME, YOU LITTLE BUSHHUGGER? PINE: [at a computer] You know what is a crime? I just sold your house on Zillow. ARGYLE: WHAT?!? PINE: Serves you right. You just got JUDGED!!! BLAXTON: WHAT JUDGED?? WHAT’S HAPPENING?!?!? BLACKSTONE: STOP… SCREAMING, YOU LITTLE PUPPET MAN!!

Blackstone tackles the puppet and fights with it stupidly. 

ARGYLE: I didn’t think my empty heart could feel depression, until I saw THAT.

The marshmallow man finally manages to rip the little blue guy from his roots. The ‘real’ Hack Blaxton appears to be… a clone of Blackstone? Wait a minute!

LOGICO: He murdered you! BLACKSTONE: I murdered you! How… how??? BLAXTON: I… I… 

The red-tied doppelganger picks himself off the ground.

BLAXTON: I didn’t really die. You were so controlling, so demanding, all the time… the only way I could get away from you was to pretend that you killed me. I just didn’t want to see you again. BLACKSTONE: Hacker… you… really felt like that? I… I don’t want you to think of me like that, I really thought… we were a good team… BLAXTON: I work here now, in Hollywood. I write movies. It’s… what I really want to do. BLACKSTONE: …It’s okay, man. I’m sorry I ever scared you off. I just… I can’t believe you’re alive. I…

They hug and cry. Pine clutches her heart. Logico does a long, withering sigh of confusion. 

LOGICO: I hate this contract… I want to die… why can’t lawyers… why can’t anyone… [LE GASP!!] WAIT! I know who can get me out of ANYTHING! 

He giggles and runs away like a penguin, with an idea in his circular head.

The end!

Yeah Hack Blaxton actually looks exactly like his twin bro, just shorter, with slightly different hair, and a red tie.

Some of the dumbest 'new lore' to come out of the cartoon! ...As if the puppet wasn't already problematic

But with all the designs finished, that means I can start book 2 as soon as the final episodes are published <3

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[eveandtheturtles]

Twisted Turtles Scenarios

Hello! So I was talking with @tinkabelle19 and somehow my brain spawned these absolutely Murphy's Law scenario. So here are these Bayverse What If situations where things don't go well for the turtles. You can use these scenarios for fics or art just tag me as the creator of the idea ;)

Tagging: @m1dnyt3-w0lf @thelaundrybitch @raphsmuneca @madammuffins @sharpwindow @pheradream-15 @leosgirl82 @kikithedreamerwriter @fyreball66 @dilucsflame33

General TW: Character Deaths in many different ways. Enjoy!

Raph - Fallen Protector

After Splinter dies defeated by Shredder Raph and April were too late to save Leo, Donnie and Mikey from Sacks. Enraged by that with the help of the humans Raph barely manages to have his revenge. He takes down Shredder but he can't stop the virus' spread. To make up for his failure, he gives April some of his blood so that the antidote can still be made.

Unfortunately, New York takes the hardest hit from Sack's virus, turning the city into a war zone with resources being scarce. Raph tries to fight the good fight, following his father's teachings but he's no Splinter nor Leo. He can't patch himself or fix things like Donnie with his tech, nor does he have the optimistic nature of Mikey. April and Vern eventually die on duty. Raph is alone. Abandoning the way of ninja Raph joins an underground fighting ring, occassionally doubling as a bodyguard for shady 'business men'.

"What's the point of protecting if there's no one left to protect..."

Mikey - Driven By Guilt

Splinter dies in the attack. Raph stands his ground against Shredder and falls. And when time came to test Mikey the rope slipped right through his hands on that snowy cliff and Leo, Verne and April plummeted to the ground below.

He and Donnie still got to the Sacks Tower. Sacks makes his antidote but the virus is stopped thanks to Donnie. The two barely stop Shredder thanks to Donnie's quick thinking and Mikey's luck and skill. Unfortunately, Donnie takes great damage from the fight. His ninja days are over and eventually transfers his mind to a computer.

Guilt drives Mikey to push himself but he can't stop hearing the voices of Leo, Splinter and Raph in his head, often blaming him for their deaths. For his blunders and mistakes.

Donnie tries to help, support his little brother but there's not much he can do now as merely a program.

Mikey gets more and more violent, sometimes his mind more stuck in the past than present, no matter how much Donnie tries. That light and glue that once held the family together has dimmed and inevitable is falling apart.

"I will never let go, not again..."

Donnie - Mad Genius

tw. substance abuse mention and torture. sorta.

Shredder didn't leave Raph behind. Sacks was smarter. The turtles were going to be kept by the billionaire as permanent guinea pigs to be their infinite mutagene supply. Leo and Raph were too prideful for that, they tried to escape but the escape plan failed, costing them their lives. Mikey, depressed with the two elder brothers' death and their treatment from humans slowly but surely faded away. He wasn't strong enough to stand all the chemical substances pumped into their bodies 24/7 nor the frequent operations.

But Donnie... Donnie had his mind and will. He knew if he waited long enough there would be an opportunity. While he bid his time, his grief and slowly building up hatered for humans were splintering and twisting his brilliant mind.

After the assault on the turtle lair, April survived, but no one would believe her and Sacks had money - the ultimate power in the human world, making her persona non grata anywhere she went. But she persisted. She managed to somehow get in contact with Donnie and plan an escape for him, although it hit her hard to hear the other three didn't make it.

During the escape something went wrong, or so April thought watching the entire Sacks facility explode but she didn't miss the twisted satisfaction on Donnie's face. Afterwards Donnie retreated underground.

She tried to reach out and comfort him but Donnie didn't reciprocate. His fevered mind was now addicted to two things - revenge and various chemical compounds his body got dependant on in Sack's captivity. He shut her down and cut all contact.

A while later, in utter shock April could watch on the TV screen the newest villain tearing the city apart like Shredder never could.

"I may be mad but who's fault is that."

Leo - Failed Leader

The mission in Brazil went as bad as it could. Leo shouldn't have jumped after Donnie, he should have waited for Raph. The fight with Rocksteady and Bebop went so wrong. He still could see Donnie getting hit with that missle from the tank. He barely saved Mikey.

They both got stuck in the jungle. Adapting was difficult, he had no doubt April would try to reach them only they had no tech... Mikey tried to cheer him up. Follow whatever he said, clinging to his eldest brother after losing the other two but eventually Leo's control became too much. After an argument Mikey went on his own.

It was a damn lucky poacher who got his shot in before Leo got there. Too late. Burying his youngest brother Leo decided the world didn't need him. He was alone. He failed.

Just how much he learned soon enough after the Technodrome hovered over the Southern America.

".....there's nothing left to say..."

[elvisabutler]

be kind rewind

summary: your new husband should know sex tapes are probably a bad idea but you both have packed schedules for the next almost year. who are you to fault him for wanting to remember how you are in bed. fandom: austin butler | elvis ( 2022 ) rating: m pairing: austin butler x priscilla actress reader ( little dove verse, you read your lines verse w/e ) word count: 2083 warnings: normal priscilla actress reader warnings apply for this. daddy kink. collars. the usual. if you're reading this knowing my jam with them, i don't need to over warn. p in v sex ( protected, dove has a birth control patch ). sex tape. blink and you very very much miss it puppy kink. stupid love birds being in love. talk of their former break up. no use of y/n, just nicknames. author's note: here's the double dip fic for day 17 of kinktober, sex tape with austin butler x priscilla actress reader. so i set this once again in the future for them when they're happy but pre-oscars so austin is about to go from the press junket to dune to bikeriders and dove is going to be going to her projects. so they will be apart for a while. the vegas wedding on the press junket happened so they're married as well. enjoy. i had this in my drafts for a while but i finally finished it.

"Aus, do you know if the camera is set up right?" You ask from your perch on the bed. You're dressed in your laciest set of lingerie despite Austin making jokes about how you could be naked for the start of this and he wouldn't care.

For his part, he is actually naked when he comes into the camera view after checking for what seems like the fifteenth time that everything is fine. He nods slowly, stalking over to you like you're prey. "Positive, and it's not connected to any laptop or computer. We're safe. Dove, I wouldn't ask you to do this if I didn't take every precaution for it getting leaked. You know how I am about that."

He's seen what leaked sexual things can do to a person he loves and while you make him selfish and make him want to throw every rule he might have about relationships and his limits out the window, he would die rather than to cause you harm- intentional or otherwise. After all, hadn't you both done enough of that to each other already?

His body is like a big cat or a crocodile slinking over to your with intent in his eyes and his cock surprisingly already ready for the occasion. You eye him under lidded eyes, your hands moving down to play with your lace covered breasts. Austin's lips curl into a smile.

"Already getting started without me?" He chuckles, climbing on top of you, his hand moving to cover your own.

"Figured you wanted a show before watching us fuck." You bite your lip, attempting the best doe-eyed look you can manage before you kiss him softly, your lips gently caressing his as your tongue presses against his lips.

"You're acting like I'm not going to have you on the phone when I'm watching this every day." He smirks into the kiss, knowing you'd find the image he's trying to paint of him being so needy for you that he has to get off to this every single day more than a bit intriguing.

You buck your hips up just a little, only to be stopped by his hand grasping your hip. "Every day, Aus? And you call me needy and insatiable." Your teeth dig ever so slightly into his lower lip, pulling it into your mouth as you continue to kiss. "I'll be on set, I can't have phone sex with you every second."

"You sure about that?" He grunts, his hand on your hip moving to slide your underwear down. "They can make an exception. Tell them you need to talk to your Daddy."

The light slap across his chest has him snickering into yet another kiss as he pulls your panties down finally- exposing your warm cunt to the air. You shiver slightly as you speak. "Everyone knows my dad is dead, and no one needs to know I have the most perfect Daddy waiting for me on his own set. Waiting for me while filming with some very famous actors." Your hand slides down his torso to his aching cock, it's a little red, furiously leaking precum like it's going out of style. It would have been a shame if you didn't wrap your hand around it, stroking it ever so gently.

Austin groans at the feel of your hand sliding against his cock, rutting just a second before gaining some control over himself. "Maybe I want them to know. Maybe I want all those people you're going to be filming with that you wear my collar when things get to be too much. That you don't take off that necklace I gave you when you asked me to be your daddy. That there isn't a hope for them to replace me as your husband."

A breath and a retort both get lost in hearing his words, in hearing him call himself your husband. You'd have thought since you got married that it would lose its charm. That the way your marriage came out would somehow dampen the joy you feel hearing him call himself your husband, but it doesn't. Just in the same way getting to call him Daddy in public if you want hasn't, just like being able to touch him and have him ghost his hand over your neck when you're in public and can't be wearing your collar or when nothing you could wear jewelry wise achieves the same effect hasn't. Everything about getting to be with him even the parts where you're promising to do Zoom therapy with your couples therapist and with your own separate therapists just makes you feel at peace in a way you never thought was possible. You feel Austin's lips curl into a smile against the part of your neck not covered by your collar as he moves down to kiss it, nipping slightly the closer he gets to your chest.

"Cat got your tongue?" He asks running his tongue over your skin after a particularly rough nip that has you keening ever so softly.

You glare at him before you frown, letting go of his cock and tilting your hips up in an effort to get him to enter you. In an effort to feel his cock inside you so that he can see how it looks on the camera. You want to manage words, want to say something to him about how it's normally the cat that has his tongue occupied but he's right there above you and you know that you've only got about a week left of time with him before you both have to be on opposite ends of the world. The idea of teasing is nice. The idea of reminding him this is the brat you fell in love with is nice. The idea of reminding him that he picked you to be his- Cilla, sub, wife- his everything is nice but you just want to feel him inside of you. You just want to have him fuck you.

His eyes widen just a hair before he looks at you and you can see his pupils are blown, see that he's so aroused at just the sight of you existing next to him and normally that means he'd just slide right in. As you look closer though, you see this hint of something else, almost like he's awestruck that you're here with him, that after everything, you're here with him. Yeah, you'll be seperated for a while- but you'll still be his, it won't be like the last time where you two wanted each other so bad but neither one of you actually fixed the issue. This time around you're together, you're happy, you're going to be able to fly to each other and give each other nose kisses and- it fills him with love. So instead he takes his time, hissing at the first moment of gripping his cock with your cunt.

"Satnin-" You whisper, the old nickname slipping out purely on accident. "Don't take your time. Fuck me, please."

It's as if hearing that nickname, that nickname that you've avoided saying since you got back together breaks a dam within him, allowing him to start thrusting into you, slowly at first, still but increasing in pace with every thrust. Your hands move to his back, scratching at it inadvertently earning a snarl from him that has you pulling away. This isn't meant to be an animalistic fuck but if Austin's going to be that way you can't help the way you growl back, your tone low enough to sound like a dog. Your eyes widen just a hair at it, wondering where that came from before looking into Austin's eyes, waiting for him to pull back and safeword or something before you see his eyes narrow just a hair and see a smirk cross his lips. He leans forward just a bit before grabbing at your collar, his words whisper over your lips.

"Calm down, puppy. Daddy's got his little bitch. Maybe if you're good we can go for a walk later, hm?"

The way your cunt clenches just a bit from those words is something you faintly need to file away for later possible exploration. Still, you shake your head and pull Austin down into another kiss, groaning as you feel one of his hands- how had it even gotten there- drift toward your clit, thumb moving to press against it. You want this to last, want to make sure he's got enough footage to actually enjoy himself while you're both not near each other but you can feel your orgasm starting to build, starting to inch toward the precipice when Austin pulls out of you completely and you scream in frustration. You're about to start cursing him to the heavens, asking him what the hell that was for before you hear him whispering words into your ear and making sure your face is seen by the camera. His words are half slurred, but he's forcing them out, like he had planned it.

"I love you. Before you cum on camera, I need you to know I love you. I need to see what you look like when I tell you this. I need to see what you look like when I tell you that I'm going to miss touching you and feeling you underneath me. I know we can fly to see each other, I can call you every day but I'm not going to have my wife by my side. After spending all these months with you and rebuilding our relationship from the ground up. After spending almost a year without you being my Little Dove. I love you so much, baby. This is what's going to help me get off, yeah, the rest of this is gonna be hot, but this- your face when I'm telling you this is what's going to remind me of you and make me remember who I have waiting for me at home."

Maybe it's the fact that you were so close to cumming beforehand or maybe it's the fact that Austin's still rubbing tiny circles on your clit when he says this but you can't help the way that even though you're tearing up a little from his sweet words your mouth opens as you let out a silent cry, cumming, your cunt clenching around nothing, but still feeling as if you've been satisfied in every way that's possible. You register him entering you again and you let out a small huff of air at it before you look back at his face, your eyes mildly glassy. "Daddy, that was mean."

He laughs softly, his thrusts becoming a little messy as you try and use old kegel tricks to try to get him to cum. "A little, but I gotta let my Dove, my wife know how much I love her. Can't have her falling for someone else. Getting a new Daddy or Mama."

A kiss is the only answer Austin gets in response to that, your hands moving down to his ass to just squeeze at it. You could tell him that you're not going to replace him as long as he won't replace you but you figure he knows. It doesn't take long for him to cum having already been relatively close himself and when he does he sort of flops on you, breathing heavily like he's run a marathon which you could argue he had. There's a few minutes where you just let him lay on top of you, your hand tracing shapes on his back before either one of you speak.

"Are you getting hard again?" You try and bite back the giggle at the knowledge but it's hard to especially after Austin's fingers start to slide into your cunt.

"Maybe. Ready to go again?" He asks, nuzzling at your neck and placing soft kisses along your jaw.

You hum softly. "Of course, old man, I'd hate for you to have such a short tape. It'd be such a bad mark on my filmography."

If it takes you two another five minutes of the camera still rolling before you actually start having sex again? Well this just for you and him, it's not the worst thing to have it be natural. Of course, it might have led to it being a two hour long video but you two were professionals, of course you had to make movie long video for your own personal sex tape.

[dairy-farmer]

Back at it again with my dropping Ficlet propts/question/thingies in you ask booooox~

But! Here we are! And consider~ what do you get when you combine Tim Puss (delightful) with Bat independence and paranoia(not delightful) AND that good, good Wayne CEO type money?

A "streamlined" sex process! "Efficiency", if you will! Letting OTHER PEOPLE? See him NAKED and VULNERABLE? Not in THIS good Bat household! They could be diseased! Or reporters! Or BOTH! Might even be some convoluted scheme to knock him up by Ra's, who STILL has not let that idea go and is STILL being weird about it!

Hmmmm, yeah, no thank you! He has vigilante ass kicking to do.

Yet? He also would like The Orgasms. He USED to have Trusted Teammates for that. USED too. Things are still weird with Kon and Bart. And Cassie? No. Things are to complicated. He wants fun not FEELINGS.

So he makes do at first. Usual things. But THEN? He saves this really sweet dominatrix from the Riddler and takes her home while the others put Nygma back in jail... and??? What are THOSE? He spends like... an HOUR learning about ALL the Interesting Options that exsist out there because apparently? Her Sub works for a retailer! They get a discount.

Which? He, Timothy Drake-Wayne, will not need~

But that Sybian? Oh hell yes he will. If it works out, he might buy one for every safe house. He's a Wayne. They DO have "Fuck You" money, after all, why NOT go big? But of course... "unusual purchases" a thing that is Forever Flagged on all cards of the monetary kind~

Bruce is paranoid and also pathologically incapable of just TALKING to his kids unless someone has nearly died recently. So really... how ELSE is he supposed to feel like a part of their lives and know what they're up too? Support them?

Get THERAPY? Talk to them on the PHONE? He'd give them AND himself a heart attack. Probably die. No thank you. No, no, boundaries stomping and stalking it is. I snoop because I caaaare~ now excuse me while I check your credit cards....

Which leads him to his current problem. He sits at his computer and cold sweats. Rereads the line. May.....maybe it's for an investigation? Surely. His stoic baby boy is not... not doing The Sex...

BUT WHAT IF HE IS??! With WHO? T..This would SUGGEST-... But can he be CERTAIN?! What if it's KINKY sex!? Oh god. Tim, no! This isn't like you! ( :T ya, let's go with that Bruce. That's DEFINITELY the truth as far as Tim wants You, his Mentor, to be aware off. What is this *checks medical text book* Pe Nis, you speak off? *Bats Bambi eyes while the teammates he has 1000% slept with look on incredulously*) Who is putting you up to this?!

Bat Gasp! What if they're PRESSURING him into this? Those BASTARDS. Bruce will BREAK them! *seethes in Bat Fury* But how can he get Tim to confide in him? *begins plotting*

And it SPIRALS. Because Bruce forgets to close his " research" (stalking) meaning? Who still lives with him? That's right! Damian wanders in, wondering why his father is Losing His Shit(tm). Snoops. Goes "ha, ha, Drake needs sex toys! Wait.... what IS a... *googles* *puts dots together* *was unaware but now is SO HYPER AWARE IT PHYSICALLY HURTS* Oh. Oh No."

Because now he CANT stop imagining it? It HAUNTS him. Not just the Thought of Tim ON the device... but the ways Damian could TORMENT him with it. Conquer him with it. Tie him up and watch him fall apart. See his defiant, mulish expression crumble to teary eyed begging. Make him suck Damian. Maybe leave him there ANYWAY! A...and he could... could- *genetic AL Ghul desire to defeat your greatest rival, fuck them, then preferably put a baby in them: Unlocked*

Now of course... TWO different Bats are acting Sus. Dick notices. Bruce? Meh, it's Tuesday. But Damian too? What has transpired here? He goes digging. Can't find anything. He should ask Tim. He swings by. Maybe this could be a could chance to mend some fences, unburn a few of those bridge...s..... *gets EYEFUL* OH.

And Tim? Holy shit the motors on this thing. The WORLD could end and he wouldn't notice right then. He's making noises he'll never admit too. It's his third time TODAY. He's a MESS. Does not notice Dick buffering in the doorway. Or backing out quietly.

Dick... goes home. Calmly takes a shower. Turns off his phone. Drags out the case from beneath his bed. And goes to TOWN on himself like he's trying to break something. It was one thing to know... intellectually... but? He has NEVER wanted to pound someone in half so badly in his LIFE.

And just? The shenanigans? Bruce confronting Tim. Him managing to convince JASON there is some creep out there pressuring "straight laced little Timmy" into depraved KINKY sex he's not comfortable with ("oh if only his big strong brother Jason would saaaave him" he's probably saying, crying into his pillows, as the imagined asshole boyfriend drinks cheap beer. "I'm so sad and scaaaared. He's hurting me and no one caaaares. He's gonna put a baby in me then skip town! Has fifteen other lovers on the side!") So of course *gun noises* No Today, Satan!

Them showing up while Tim is NAKED. Dick trying to head them off. Damian there because he's TOTALLY here to help and not oggle the puss, really. No one is letting Tim up to "storm off". That's not why he wants up! He's STILL ON THE SYBIAN YOU ASSHOLES! But they keep yelling over each other and interrupting HIM until? Oops! Nother orgasm~ this time with an AUDIENCE.

It's the best and worst day of Tim's life. He's had dreams like this. But NOW? Bruce is CONVINCED. Tim is baffled. Somehow even Dick has bought into it. Apparently the crappy kinky sex boyfriend that never was... has started conditioning his body for exhibitionism? General lewdness? Tim can't get a clear answer over the outrage.

But he is informed he Does Not Need the man. Must leave him at once. He isn't treating Tim properly and people who act like this don't TRUELY love him. Not like they do.

You know what? Fuck it, thinks Tim. Who's day has been weird, sexy, unsexy, and might be Really Awesome in just a few moments. Go big or go home. Witness Me. *teary Bambi eyes* "But... but he DOES love me~ and... and I would be So Alone with out him! He's right, no one could EVER want someone like meeee~~~"

And holy shit that actually works. Thank God they're pretty, because all these men are dumb as hell. He's gonna have to invent a fake scumbag ex. Maybe lead it back to Ra's. But first? His bed room is THAT way and he is but a poor waifish thing~ in need of love and fuckies~ pay attention to him.

tim being all 'im poor sad little slut 🥺 a poor sweet little boy that just needs attention 🥺 and love 🥺 and fuckies in my pussy 🥺🥺🥺' and using it to manipulate his family because they sabotage and ruin his other opportunities to get dick is so good 😭😭😭!!!!1

[witchersmistress]

The Calm before the Storm

Back into the lion's den, like nothing ever happened. Like they didn't leave me tied to a tree in the middle of the swamp, bleeding and begging for death. Even when August handed me over to his brothers and walked away. I came back after 4 months like nothing ever happened. I worked from home so I never had to see those men again. I still have nightmares about what Baron and Duke did to me.

“The twins wrap the rope around the tree above my head, so my hands are pulled up against it. I try not to howl in pain when my broken hand is crushed against the rough bark. Standing back, they look me over, breathing hard and spitting blood from their exertion while subduing me.”

Grace and Dixie kept in the loop about what happened in the office. All the gossip and rumors. They never mentioned the twin or august but i never asked i didn't want to know.

One of our co-workers was having a party and those girls would not stop bugging me about going, so with much disdain I agreed to go. 

Dressing in dark skinny jeans, that made my ass look fantastic, a light colored tee and my black ankle booties. Swiping my eyes with one last coat of mascara, touching up lip gloss, I was ready to head out. Grabbing my keys to the escalade and snagging my leather jacket. I darted down the stairs and into my waiting car, just wishing this night was already over.

Parking I took one long last look in my visor before getting out to find Grace or Dixie. The party was slowly coming to life, people dancing and passing drinks, i go several hugs and welcome backs as i made my way to the 3 season porch on the backside of the house, where i found Grace and Dixie in a heated debate, grabbing a red solo cup off the beer table i joined in. they squealed with excitement and gave me hugs. The rumor around the office was, I was pulled away for a field assignment and I would continue to work via computer. It was better than the truth that August and the twins left me to die for something I had no control over. 

Pushing those thoughts away I just regroup and refocus on the party, staring off at  party goers, huddled on the porch and the tall stranger standing in the doorway.

Suddenly, my gaze jerks back to the person I just scanned over as I was staring off. August Walker is leaning against the railing inside the screen, watching me. My heart flips, and for a second, forgets how to beat. I close my eyes, sure that when I open them, it’ll be someone else, the way he must see his sister in a crowd now and again, only to realize it’s a stranger.

But it’s not a stranger. He’s still there. Our eyes meet, and I swallow so hard I nearly choke on my own tongue. What is wrong with me? Why is my heart hammering, and not with fear? God, I’m a fucking mess. “Hey.” I tear my gaze away from August to find a safe boy standing a few steps away. “Hey, Walter,” I say, trying to shake off the weirdness of seeing August here. He lives in my town. We run in the same crowd. Lots of the parties last year had a mix of current coworkers, former co-workers and retirees. Which means I’m bound to run into him now and again, even if he’s not doing it intentionally anymore. One day, maybe he’ll be just some guy I pass in the grocery store and pretend not to know. 

The idea aches in the pit of my stomach, cold and deep.

“You look… good, like really good,” Walter says, glancing at my leather jacket. “Thanks,” I say, holding out my cup. “Congrats on solving that case.” He bumps his cup against mine before leaning on the wall beside me. I can feel August’s eyes boring into us, but I don’t look in his direction again. “Are you having fun?” Walter  asks. “Sure,” I say, stepping away from the wall so I can turn my back on August, since he’s being a total creeper and openly staring. “You?”

 He let out a low chuckle “Not really, this isn't my thing but what else was I going to do, go home and have a beer by myself, but they had dragged me out here” sweeping his arm to his team as two of them down pints while the other shouted. I felt a low chuckle leave my throat.

“So, listen,” Walter says, shifting uncomfortably against the wall. “There will be a  hockey game in a few weeks” “Walter,” I say, holding up a hand. “I… No. I can’t. But thank you. Really. You’re, like, the best guy I’ve ever met, and you’re insanely brave, like, you have no idea how brave you are to even ask me. But I can’t.” 

“Why not?” It’s not Walter who asks. I flinch, squeezing my eyes closed. When I open them, Walter is staring over my head. I don’t have to turn to know August is standing there. But I do, because I’m scared for my new friend. August doesn’t look pissed, like he might put the sophomore through the wall, though. He towers over me, a slightly confrontational glint in his eye, but he doesn’t make a move toward Walter. “How long have you been standing there?” I ask. “Long enough.”

 Walter’s gaze moves back to me and then to August and then back to me. “I’m sorry,” he stammers. “I—Grace said you broke up. I had no idea.” “We did,” I say firmly. “We’re not together.” “That’s right,” August says, sipping from his drink. I know it’s his first one, that over the next few hours, he’ll nurse one or two more, nowhere near enough to affect a guy his size. August doesn’t get drunk. He doesn’t lose control. I hate that I still know him so well, that I know him at all.

“I’m… Just not ready to date anyone yet,” I say.. I’m sorry, Walter.” I lean in and give him a quick kiss on the cheek, and he turns beet red. “It’s okay,” he says again, edging away from the wall. “I’ll… See you Monday.” He ducks inside, and I feel like the biggest asshole on earth.

August chuckles. “That was fun. Want to do it again? There’s another kid over there who was checking out your ass when you walked in.” I sigh and turn to him. “What are you doing?” “Mingling.” I glare at him. “So, you’re just going to follow me around chasing off any guys who ask me out?” “Oh, you think I’m being protective of you?” he asks, drawing back cocking one of his brows “No, Cherry Pie. I’m protecting those men from me and what I'll do to them if they lay a hand on you.” “He’s a grown ass man with a teenage daughter.” “So?,” he says, sipping his drink and looking down at me with hooded eyes “Guess we’re back to hating each other.”

“I never stopped hating you.” he said

I gaze back into his eyes, but there’s nothing there. He’s not the hollow-eyed man who almost killed me the first time we met, but he’s completely closed off in a way I haven’t seen in a long time, since before I really knew him. It’s his cool, indifferent mask, as obscuring as the one Preston wears. “Good,” I say lightly. “I hate you, too.”

[becauseplot]

ok so i couldn't watch ordem paranormal quarentena live yesterday but im rotating it in my head at supersonic speeds. here have the reactions and notes i was taking while watching the VODs. i figured i'd just make it all one post since i'm super late to the party and i didn't rly feel like "lag"-blogging. (i am. so tired rn lmao)

Quackity will find a way to play the “asshole” character in every universe.

Luis: “My name is Luis Miguel….Kennedy :))” Cellbit, breaking character, pinching the bridge of his nose: “…Did you put ‘Kennedy’ in your name and you didn’t tell me?” (Honestly one of my favorite parts of the whole session HIS FACE)

Lucie IMMEDIATELY starting beef with the ten year old (good for her)

Wait did that doctor try to do a Schrödinger's cat demonstration with the cardboard box and poisoned tuna??? Aw that would've been so cool. I mean not for the cat but for me, personally. I would've found it cool. Man :(

Jeffery pulling a second box of pizza out of the aether to put over the smoke grenade. Loony toons ass motherfuckers.

Jeffery panic throwing the keys at Luis (Honestly same dude)

WALLACE!!

Holy FUCK the reveal of the blood covered corridor?? THE WAY CELLBIT INTRODUCED THE MONSTER?? Genuinely had me tensing up hooooo it was so good!! (Cellbit: “You can’t explain why…but you don’t want to look at what’s coming around the corner.” Me, with a hand over the screen: “Oh bestie you have no idea 😀”)

THE CHASE SEQUENCE RASHASHSHSRAAHAHHH <-me shaking it around in my mouth like a chew toy

Also all the sounds Cellbit makes? The acting of showing how the infecteds' bodies move?? He's so into it AUGHH he's such a good storyteller I'm going nuts.

Luis: “OMA CULERO BOOOOM!” *fucking decks the monster* (THIS PART HAD ME ROLLING OH MY GOD ROIER)

Baghera’s playstyle!! She always tries to go for the non obvious answer or a third option instead of whatever Cellbit throws at them. (Checking the metal pannel with the wires, trying to put out the boiler fire, going to check Luis’ wounds.) I bet it has something to do with the fact that she’s played rpg before, and MAN I love it.

Cellbit: “You reach behind you and you realize you don’t have your backpack.” Diego: “No, no, mi vida!!… Ohhh we’re all gonna die 0(-(“

Cellbit: “So Jeffery what’re you doing?” Jeffery: “Houghhhggh I’m throwin up, man.”

Benito isn’t an actual doctor?? The fuck lmao???

Benito: *cuts off Michael’s arm* “Ohhhhh you fucking dumbass I’m gonna keep this as a memory.” BENITO???????

Jeffery constantly throwing things at the wall when he’s upset fhdjkdkd 

Lucie climbing the FUCKING walls. YEAHH!! GET ON TOP OF THAT COMPUTER GO GO GO!!

Ohhhhhhh the killing the animal who's suffering question. Luis with the gun. And the suffering doctor.. And he said he'd end the animal's suffering. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Update: Benito also has beef with the same ten year old

They are playing hot potato with an infected fetus. They threw it at the little girl. Loony toons ass motherfuckers. (Again.)

These dumbasses are SO awful with kids lmao

Lucie the MVP LETSGO she's so smart I love her (a fucking twenty NINE dude holy SHIT she is carrying she is the moment she has the only functioning braincell in this entire facility)

RAHFDHGGAGHSARHGAH CHASE SEQUENCE PART TWO!!!

Character development ! Benito is willing to throw his phone :D (he doesn't though)

Luis I love you but I think you killed Lucie. A for effort though.

NEVERMIND Diego is the best he's helping Lucie I love him smmm

JEFFERY NOOOO YOU CANT DIE NOOOOOOOO

YEAHHHHH DIEGO LETSGOOOO

MICHAEL????????? MICHAEL WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING RIGHT NOW?????????????

WHAT THE FUCK THEYRE GOIGN RTO BRAZILTHEYRHGOIENG TO BRASIXIZNGL WHATHHTHAHHHHTAWHAT

Wait what the fuck happened to Amy is she just like. Still sitting there. In the energy room. Crying. Oh my god they're so bad with kids.

[cloudthenightguard]

When Cloud Feels Murderous

Cloud fiddled with the pen. “Why do the animatronics hate you again?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Michael scowled.

“But I thought the Heckbear’s animatronics were different from the Fazbear ones-“

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Cloud narrowed her eyes, setting the pen down. “I knew it. You were shifty when Faith brought you here. I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, but if the animatronics-“

“DROP IT.” Mike clenched his fists.

“Contrary to popular belief, your threats don’t scare me.” Cloud shrugged, dialing into the phone.

“What are you doing?”

“Checking on someone.” Cloud rolled her eyes. “We don’t actually need two night guards, you know. Check the cameras or whatever.”

“You should be more concerned about this, you know.” Mike picked up the tablet. “Considering this is your job-“

“Yeah, yeah.” Cloud rolled her eyes again. “Hey Faith.”

Michael blinked. “Why are you-“

“So, remember that favor you asked me about an hour ago?” Cloud hopped onto the desk, crossing her legs idly. “I could do it right now, if you want.”

Faith’s voice was slightly audible, her voice surprised.

“Yeah, as in, right now, right now.” Cloud grinned. “I have an idea, don’t worry.”

“What are you up to?” Michael asked, frowning slightly.

Cloud just shrugged, laying a hand on the computer monitor. “Have fun without power, lover boy.”

“Wait, wha-“

The lights flickered weakly before going out.

“I shouldn’t be forced to maintain power when there’s a breaker box in the saferoom.” Cloud picked at her fingernails idly. She wasn’t fazed by the light going out.

“You’ll get me killed.” The disbelief was evident in his voice.

“Well, not if you go and turn on the actual power for the building. Michael, I’m not just a walking battery, you know.” Cloud frowned. It was ominous, and Mike suddenly realized how dangerous the woman in the room was.

“Faith will be mad,” Michael tried.

“About the power? Nah, the only person who’ll be actually annoyed is Zoe.” Cloud snorted. “Speaking of, the vents haven’t been cleaned for a while. I think we’ve still got someone trapped up there.”

“That’s not funny.”

“Then go turn the lights on.” Cloud crossed her arms. “Dude, it’s not your power bill.”

“It’s my life.”

“You think you’re so valuable alive. Honestly, it’s unbelievable.”

“Do you just talk to everybody this way?”

Cloud raised an eyebrow. “Do you think I do?”

“I’m hoping that you don’t just have it out for me.”

“You’re less nosy than I thought you’d be,” Cloud muttered. “I can hear Freddy moving, by the way.”

With a slight scowl, Michael walked out of the security office. Immediately, the power came back on, and the door shut. He whirled, pounding on the door and shouting. “This isn’t funny, Cloud!”

“It is a little funny.” Cloud jumped off the desk and spun in the office chair. “Pix will probably be mad that I’ve killed another person, but she’ll get over it.”

“CLOUD!!!!” Mike could see the animatronics stirring now. Chica was already part of the way down the hallway with Freddy on her heels. “LET ME IN!! LET ME IN!!!”

“Hm.” Cloud squinted at him skeptically. “I don’t think I will.”

“CLOUD!!!!!” Mike’s yelling was cut off as Freddy grabbed him. “I WILL END YOU!!”

“Ooh, a threat. That’s new.” Cloud hummed idly as the animatronics dragged Faith’s husband away to die.

[wellntruly]

M*A*S*H - Season 4, misc. notes

Burying a lot of um, my feelings, in the notes section, lately. I do have this thing sometimes with a TV show where we go through a change, and it’s like taking away the way something was lands a hammer blow on a whole mass of unexpressed feelings I’d built up about it, and finally shatters them into SOME WORDS. That post that’s like, being wine drunk is like, I am ready to write back now. I am ready to write back now.

Episode write-ups here, this here:

— — —

10 points to whoever had the idea that Hawkeye would be fully clothed and sopping wet, literally standing there like a cat in the rain, at the moment he learns Trapper is gone.

Oh so he just said, Radar—kiss him for me. Oh my god Hawk I’d be fraying at the seams. WHAT’S BETTER, that there was something more between them, hidden in plain sight under the most unhinged cover of all time, Everyone Already Expects Us To Act Like This, or that there wasn’t yet, that this will be it, a swift peck from Radar on your cheek and something you'll wonder forever. Whew I don’t know!

Wait, this man’s name is literally BJ Hunnicutt? Wow. 10 points again.

BJ, mildly, being shot at: “I think I hate this.” Me, mildly, heart warming: “You’re gonna be great.”

Uh oh. This relaysh is gonna be a different kind of….oh this is gonna fuck me up in new ways.

He’s in no way doing this on purpose, which I think is fascinating in itself actually, for what it seems to say about the environment of war and sort of like, what your heart might do to survive, but the barrage of impressions and sensations Hawkeye hits BJ with in his first few hours in Korea could practically not be better designed for BJ to go zero to 60 in an afternoon on feeling wildly intimate with him. To the point that when we revisit the scene of Frank being like I will mold him!, you’re just like oh honey, he is already lost to you!

Here is what BJ Hunnicutt encountered, in sequence, upon stepping foot onto Korea:

a kind of handsomely bedraggled lanky fellow doctor in frayed fatigues tossing off glib one-liners while still visibly smarting from having just had his best friend unceremoniously torn from his side

within ten minutes, he has bundled you into a bar and quipped he’ll only get married once someone gets him pregnant, drunk two scotch & waters, revealed he’s just lost his commander officer too, lied to a colonel, said he was a vampire, and stolen a jeep

you rattle off down the road with this little corporal behind the wheel

with no rehearsal or briefing, you perform an improv scene with him and the corporal in what you gather to be Act 2 of an ongoing short play called Befuddled the Military Police Sentry

you careen to a stop and try to save two farm girls from a minefield

you careen to a stop again, and change a tire together while being shot at

you careen to a stop a third time amid a small unit of soldiers, this time while being shelled

you practice battlefield medicine next to him for the first time in your life, get sick, and he steadies your waist and forehead as you heave into the dry grass

he bundles you off into a second bar, sits there like an unbothered anchor of blackened comic calm as a chaotic scuffle rolls around you, makes the existential toast, “Ours is not to question why, ours is not to let ‘em die,” and gets you absolutely clobbered on sake and beer

you fall back into the jeep together and he laughingly gathers you into his lap

you are In Love

this man has just been directly involved in 50 feelings you’ve never felt before, not all of them good!, but damn if they aren’t powerful

Ferret Face doesn’t stand a chance

They keep saying it’s 1952. Buddy, it was 1952 years ago.

How do they keep managing to find boyfriends taller than Alan Alda, 6 foot 2

Alright, a) of all I just said aloud to my computer “Give me…celeb heights dot com,” insane behavior, but can report that the wonderful obsessives of that online community cannot get over ragging him on his “loose” “slouchy” and “atrocious” posture, but do think Alda truly was 6’2” at his peak and just inexplicably surrounded by three different 6’3+’s over the run of M*A*S*H. Incredible. Meanwhile the corporals are all like, my dad’s size. What was going on over there.

Wait, REALLY?! His nickname is Radar because he has premonitions?? I thought it was just because of his crackerjack hearing with the choppers! WAIT SHIT I’m just realizing: HOW HE ALWAYS KNOW WHAT HIS COLONEL WANTS TO SAY. OH fuck oh fuck oh fuck I did not know this was all RELATED, oh thank you for this wow.

[Breathing out] Hooooo, Hawkeye & BJ’s relationship is so different… There’s both more need and more tentativeness there, from Hawk. Which fiiiiiguuures. And BJ, god BJ… So drawn to him and so careful. Recognizing something in the hanging air in their tent, this ghost whose bed he lies in, lying awake staring at the canvas ceiling and wondering if he did the same, if he listened to his sleeping breathing just like this. Haha dang, sorry sorry

No wait not done no wait no wait— Who has the old photos to show BJ. Pointing out Henry Blake in a group shot, and then going, "[Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy voice] Ah, here they are—the inseparables :),” and handing him one of Trapper & Hawkeye laughing in each other's arms.

Potter: “Whoa, at ease, son, at ease.” Radar: “Thank you sir, maybe later.” Hawkeye & BJ, tumbling in: “Colonel, about the sniping—” Potter: “We’re doing all we can, I’m working at my desk and Radar is scared.” Uhm I love him

Unclear chicken or the egg situation here but Larry Linville’s performance has become basically just a caricature of himself and I am suff-er-ing. Frank used to at least be kinda fun awful!

I simply cannot see a way how the directorial adage “never work with animals or children” is not related to how we just got two Alda directed episodes in a row, with: animals and children, respectively. Did he not know. Did they know he didn’t know. Or, is this him being like, I Will Prove…!

BEEJ. Beej?? Well let’s see if that sticks.

Father Mulcahy just having a genuine theology discussion about Judas with the man calling himself Jesus Christ, bless

One thing I think is intriguing is how much Sid clearly loves Hawkeye. His ideal patient. Hawkeye is so verbal and presentational that he’d come up with the most interesting ways to describe what’s wrong that Sid’s ever heard, and then he’ll get to try to help. Honestly, I look at Sidney Freedman and I think, there’s our off-ramp. Someday, you two are gonna have to have a talk.

“Ah, this mad gay nightlife.” Yeah..

Wait a second. BJ’s wife’s name is….Peg? sensible_chuckle.gif, 20 points

BJ just grinning at Radar in only the most slightly and cutely wolfish way and going “You could have been my wife :),” yell. Y’know the question was always there whether BJ was flirting with men just as a way to bond with Hawkeye, Flirts With Men, but he’s not even there to appreciate this, this is really just you being you, huh. Wonderful. We got another one.

(God okay—Hawkeye writing these weird letters to Trapper that he never responds to but he keeps sending them, just like a one-sided conversation, like after a triple shift in surgery and Trapper would be lying on his bed too exhausted to speak and Hawkeye lying next to him too exhausted to stop, and Trapper’s home with his wife & kids and reading these diaristic stream-of-conscious scrawls with these stray lines like “the thing about BJ—I think he’s one of us,” and feeling five kinds of strange & nervy, bouncing his leg with the worn postcard in the pocket that he wrote on the plane and hasn’t sent that just says, “Did Radar deliver my message”)

BJ’s dog is named Waggle Hunnicutt

Madly in love with the reveal that Klinger is canonically Lebanese. Yossarian energy doubling.

“Thank you Radar, that tomato juice was the oyster’s ice skates.” Excuse me Sherman

The sexual harassment…effervescent.

Oh now we’re speaking Arabic!!

Potter: “He even made Klinger cry.” BJ: “The cad.” Potter: “Told him his platform shoes made him look like a tramp.” Everyone: [clicks disapprovingly]

Oho! Timeline klaxon! By episode 18 of season 4, Potter has been there “a few months.” Hawkeye has meanwhile been there “a hundred years.” Very good meta joke here.

Frank just called BJ a “dizzy simp.” Wow that kinda crushes actually.

I know why someone just honks outside, but I’ll show up on set for free to let you know that Hawkeye stumbles out of that farmhouse to see yes, Radar behind the wheel of a jeep, and gathering his bag out of the backseat: BJ. And then it just goes:

Hawkeye: “Well aren’t you a sight for sore head.” BJ, moving toward his jaw gently: “Ah. You got yourself knocked up pretty good, huh.” Hawkeye, toss at 25% usual strength: “And I’m pregnant??” BJ, half-distractedly murmuring as he starts peering at his eyes: “Well, give us time.” Hawkeye: [startled pleased dazey grin, quieting as BJ begins to carefully feel his fingers through his hair] BJ: [saves that right temple for last] Hawkeye: [it hurts] But, BJ, smiling: “Good news: you aren’t half-cracked.” Hawkeye: “Try telling that to them.”

And then we fini.

“Maybe Oedipus wrecked it for me” is A PUN SO GOOD

I can't even get into all the ‘Amok Time’ level cause & effect shenanigans in this episode

Alda and Farrell as these desperate pleading weaklings in Frank’s version of the Rashomom are killing me. I'm still giggling. “We can’t do it, Frank!”

BABYFACE. Wow I sure would like to see if that one sticks, Beej. Hah oh my god if I get to call them Beej & Babyface I’m gonna lose my mind.

I gotta say, I gotta say: spending more money on action and extras to track someone getting injured, treated at an aid station, loaded onto a chopper, and then brought into the MASH unit, was worth it. That hits.

Somehow just occurred to me Radar seeming so much younger and softer could be a direct result of his father figure being killed.

Wow this is a whole new key for you, Benjamin Franklin Pierce!

This new nurse: “What does BJ stand for?” Hawkeye: “Praaactically anything.” What’s fun is this is a joke about blow jobs and also his convictions. And also I STILL DON’T KNOW IF THIS IS BENJAMIN AND BENJAMIN.

I love her vocal fry. It’s so hot, I don't know!

Actually swear I had the thought recently, what if they ever did a sort of Demme close up? Would I die? Thanks for seeing me, M*A*S*H

Season Viewguides

These

[spaceprinceencie]

Born to Die, Lived to Know

I wrote a story about Karkat dealing with the trauma of being a mutant because I don't think it's nearly addressed enough in the comic. I've actually had this idea floating around in my head for a while now. It was inspired originally by his route in pesterquest (highly recommend btw). I posted this to my ao3 a while ago but I thought I'd throw it on here now too, because I finally have some time and mental space to start posting things again!

Read it here on my ao3 or below the cut!

CW/TW: Angst, Trauma, Loneliness, Anxiety, implied PTSD, brief mentions of not eating, brief mention of vomiting, mild injury, some blood (b/c that is the source of his trauma)

It’s one of those nights on the meteor. Karkat’s commands that no one fall asleep have long been forgotten. At first, some of them believed him. At first, some of them were scared enough to listen to him. But like always, they adapted to that fear, because that’s how trolls were meant to be. You couldn’t run a productive society based on terror if no one could adapt to at least some level of fear. Really, Karkat thinks, the humans aren’t much different in that respect, even though their world seems so cushy compared to Alternia. But he’s seen that humans have the ability to adapt to some level of fear as well.

It all boils down to normalizing it, he guesses. The more normalized the terror, the less it feels like something to be afraid of.

It didn’t help that sleep was a pretty crucial part to living. Not many trolls can really handle going more than two days without sleep. Karkat knows that there are some trolls trained for it, to stay awake for days on end so they can meet their Empire-appointed quota for whatever shitty lowblood job they get stuck with.

He pauses in his thoughts for a moment, his finger stilling in the air where he had been lightly tapping it on the desk in front of his keyboard. He knows that there were some trolls trained for it, he corrects himself. Who knows if any of his species is alive outside the twelve of them on this meteor. Karkat drags his claws roughly through his hair.

The glare of his computer screen is harsh and bright, especially with all the other lights in the room off. He had actually settled down in a room alone to try to sleep himself. The others had stopped listening to his warnings, unsurprisingly. Really Gamzee was the first to break. Well, Karkat isn’t entirely sure break is the right word for him. He isn’t sure if Gamzee ever really understood the warnings or took them seriously.

Gamzee has always had a preponderance for staying up for days at a time, mostly zoning out or doing stupid shit like that fucking horn dance he’s been doing for literal hours a day recently. Karkat guesses that he just accidentally stayed up, and then eventually passed out. When he didn’t wake up screaming like Karkat had, it was like the unspoken fear was immediately neutralized. Some people were still wary, smart enough to know that even horrorterrors might not phase the clown, but eventually, one by one, they gave in to the exhaustion. Karkat isn’t sure what changed, but no one seemed to encounter whatever visions he had.

Karkat, on the other hand, was different from most of the other trolls he had met. Certainly different from everyone else he knew here on the meteor. Karkat had terror imprinted on his every action from the moment he was grown enough to understand what his blood color meant. There was nothing to normalize his terror. Adapting to it would mean death. He didn’t have that luxury.

That’s why, an entire day and a half after the last of his friends finally gave in and got some sleep, he was staring at an illuminated desk with exhaustion tearing at his mind. He had tried to sleep, really he did. But laying in the dark, the terror crept back up, just as cold and vicious as it had always been. Terror of what lies in wait in his dreams, terror of what the future might hold, terror of being with himself too long without a shred of distraction. It had always been something of a challenge to stay angry when he was alone. But losing that anger was more terrifying than anything else, really. Anger was easier, easier than anything else brewing in the depths of his mind. It certainly hurt less on the backswing.

He thought about trolling some of the humans for a little while, just to take his mind off things, but then thought better of it. He felt the exhaustion rattling his thinkpan so hard that he wasn’t sure what he’d say at this point. He wasn’t even sure if it would be coherent.

He thought very briefly about asking Kanaya to just… sit in the room with him, while he slept. But he dismissed the thought. She would agree, he knows. But he wasn’t sure he could live with himself, with that embarrassment. He wasn’t sure if her presence would even help him sleep, or if it would just drive his nerves up even higher. He really wished they had some sopor, it would at least have made the process a bit easier.

Karkat gets up from his desk, turning the computer off. The room is plunged into darkness, and he navigates to the human bed they had alchemized when they realized sopor-less cocoons weren’t all that comfortable. It was better than the cold metal floor of this weird fucking complex, he guessed. He lies down, not even bothering to get under the covers. He expects he’ll be up again in about fifteen minutes, like he’s been doing for the last few hours.

He sighs heavily, staring hatefully up at the dark ceiling. He closes his eyes, trying once again to regulate his breathing, control the flow of his thoughts.

But it isn’t long before he’s thinking about Alternia. He had managed to finally drift a bit, and then a stray thought caught onto the edge of his consciousness like a vicious fishhook. It pulled him slightly back into the waking world, but not enough that the images stopped flashing in front of his eyes - vivid and intense.

Alternia, where he had been marked for death the moment he was born. His home planet which would have seen him culled seconds after taking his first breaths. Something curls in his stomach, and images of the brooding caverns flash through his mind’s eye. His body as a grub would’ve been a blindingly bright image of exactly why he should have been killed. Some jade blood should’ve ended him then and there. And yet somehow he managed to get through all the trials and get picked by a lusus who decided not to kill him either. He’ll never understand why.

Not why they didn’t kill him. Why no one thought that letting him live might be the cruelest option.

And that’s the thought that takes hold of his mind when he finally slips under just enough that he can’t bring himself back out. Like drowning, he knows he has to escape before it gets ugly, but the more he thrashes, the deeper he goes. Down, down, down into the depths of a nightmare, inescapable. He knows it's a dream, usually does, but he never has much control over it. It’s more like reliving the worst memories of his life while locked in his own body - sick with the knowledge of what comes next.

The nightmares are never slow, either. They’re a rapidly shifting collage of all the worst points in his life. As if his mind has a hurricane of every horrible panic-riddled moment, ready for him to be thrown into and tossed around like debris.

It starts with one of the first days he learned of all the ins and outs of the hemospectrum. More than just the castes, but the outcastes too. He learned he’s one of them, and to expose that would be to die. He was barely a sweep old, and terror had been forced upon him like a hot branding iron. He wore his symbol in a shade of gray that felt more incriminating and more burning than the actual color of his blood. He learned early how to talk his way around the questions, if shouting philosophy and expletives counted as talking. He learned even earlier how to hide when he knew talking wouldn’t save him.

Then there was the day he had gone downstairs at the wrong time, and his lusus had accidentally slashed his arm open. There was terror choking him as the incriminating candy apple red splattered across the floor and stained his clothes. What he was most scared of though, was whether that color would finally remind his lusus that he shouldn’t be alive. He fled the room faster than he’d ever fled before, and he locked himself in his room for over a week. When he finally came back out, the wound barely a line and hidden by his sweater, he had lost a few pounds. His lusus brought home a fresh kill that night, but Karkat still couldn’t stand in the same room without that fear creeping up into his gut. He ate stale grubcakes in his room alone instead.

And of course there was a montage of every experience he turned down in order to hide his blood color from the few people in the world he hazarded to call friends. Every FLARP session he refused, every coffee date missed, every event ticket passed by. Some vicious pang of loneliness ripped through him.

Finally, it comes to the training sessions he had sweated through for hours a day everyday. He was never a fighter, he knows. He was always some pathetic weakling, clearly not made for fighting like every other troll was. The guardian of his planet in sgrub was the final nail in the coffin on that minor source of self-confidence. He can’t believe how fucking dumb he was. How blind his optimism was back then - expecting he could just prove his skill enough that they would have no choice but to let him be a threshecutioner? That they would just overlook his blaring mutation? It was so sad, he sometimes can’t believe he actually thought those things.

But then again, some horrible voice in his brain says, then again… what was the alternative? To believe that if you got to your Ordeals by some miracle, you would still just be killed on the spot anyway? What would the point of living even have been then? No, he had to believe he had some level of power, of agency, in that outcome. He had to believe in something.

If there was nothing he could do, why was he even kept alive in the first place? Just to suffer for sweeps in terror, hiding from everyone, shying away from living his life, and finally surviving to see his Ordeals just… to die?

Was that all he was good for? Just a mutant marked for death by his very genetic code. Karkat Vantas - born to die, having lived long enough to find out. How fucking pathetic.

He wasn’t even any good at leading, really. No one listened to him, especially not now, after they lost the chance to actually win their sgrub session. No, he lost the respect of everyone around him little by little, every day, every hour he tried to convince them he was good for something. It’s always been like that, that horrible voice in his head tells him, you’ve always been able to talk big but you’ve always ruined it once you tried to make good on all that lip service.

Karkat wakes up in a cold sweat, blood pusher thumping wildly in his chest, so hard it almost hurts. He tastes blood in his mouth, and turns to the side of the bed to vomit onto the floor. He curses, squeezing his eyes closed at the sight of the color he can’t seem to escape. The sentence he can’t seem to serve. His ball and chain, his fate and destiny. The cruelest joke ever played on him by the unforgiving, vicious Paradox Space.

He turns back over, burying himself into the blankets and pillows.

It's a small, hollow victory when he cries so hard he finally fatigues himself into a deep, dreamless sleep. But he supposes a small, hollow victory is the trend in his life. He might have escaped whatever fucked up cosmic joke he had been served on Alternia, but he only ever ended up in some other fucked up cosmic joke. The butt is always his death, it seems. Frankly, that punchline is getting old. Maybe Paradox Space needs to get new material.

[mirtifero]

I actually want to talk about a short story book plan I had back on around 2020(?) and that I'm slowly coming back to.

I cant remember if it was around 2020 or 2021 or if it started in 2019, but I remember being in front of a computer while thinking about it, so idk. Maybe 2020.

Cus I remember being influenced by senmu's work by the time? And some of these seem to have some ressemblance.

I remember stopping writing them because they started making me feel ill to my stomach. Maybe you'll see why. The scenes of each story were too personal and were wounds that hurt too much for me to handle at the time.

Now I see them with a bit of fondness.

The stories are going to be written in portuguese tho, ahahah. Not here! Here you'll have short summaries.

Warnings for each story summary on the improvised name for each of them

Dream Boy (abuse, murder, suicide)

This one is quite simple. A man in a big city has developed major depression due to loneliness and is struggling in a small friend group he made of horrible people. These "friends" basically just use him for his (broke) wallet or to beat him up or harrass him. Due to that, he slowly starts to make a fictional person inside his head to be his best friend. He eventually actually develops feelings for this fictional boy, and starts going slowly but surely mad. His life is a mess, he is constantly almost getting evicted, he locked his university course and his friends suck. That dream person is the only person he has. He eventually has a breakdown and kills his "friends" and ends up getting arrested. He commits suicide shortly after to reunite with his beloved.

Girl best friends (abuse, suicide, murder, homophobia)

This one's very short and simple. Two girls are best friends in a very conservative town, and one starts developing feelings for the other one. Let's call them 1 and 2. One day, they are having a sleep over, and 2, who knows about 1's feelings for her, starts whispering sweet poison to her. 1 gets flustered and asks what she's talking about, receiving a confused look from 2. Basically things like that happen for a while, 2's whispers developing from sweet nothings to... something weirder. 2 starts to talk about death and wanting to kill hersef when they graduate highschool, which was some months from then. Slowly 2 also starts suggesting for a double suicide. 1 is scared, but 2 keeps pushing and pushing for her to do it. On graduation day, they go to the roof together, and 1 once again hesitates, but 2 looks at her and tell her she loves her so so much and that she can't wait to die together with her. 1 sits on the edge and breathes but chickens away, making 2 angry. 2 pushes 1 down the building. 1 looks up while falling, realising 2 was not jumping. 2 had tricked her. She never wanted to die. She wanted 1 dead.

Three friends (cannibalism, animal death)

This one. Changed a lot. Originally it was about a starving girl, her dogs and a mysterious kind stranger. The stranger gave her food and she was forever grateful. Slowly though, her dogs start missing. Her meals are her only source of comfort. One day, instead of a full meal, the stranger appears and shows her one of her dead dogs. Rips it apart and feeds it to her. She had been feeding the girl on human and dog meat all along.

Now, there's only 2 people in that story (which I took some liberties to change from its actual original, since silly me doesn't remember much besides dogs and cannibalism), so why the 3 title? Thats because for a good while I changed it. It is the time loop yuri story I talked about. With the same characters and similar ideas, a girl was trapped in a time loop where her two friends kept killing each other and grotesquely mutilating and eating themselves, and how it kept getting worse because the girl started actually making things worse HERSELF.

But I ended up... not liking it? I don't know, my original ideas were feeling based only, I couldnt seem to make a plot out of it. It's a nice idea, but not for them. I won't scrap it, just like what happened to Henry (hence why there's two of them), but the murder besties will stay on the shelf for a while.

Yes I will write the dog eating story instead. Lol.

That's honestly it? Like, it's three stories I made at a very low point of my life, and based off emotions I couldn't seem to explain at the time. Now I understand them better and wish to explore it on these stories I made at my lowest.

Sharing here because... maybe someone here likes grotesque stuff? Haha. Well. Hoped you who read this liked it!