#i have npd ok

[whumpshaped]

btw i have mental problems if u start an ask like this im going all out to prove u wrong

[theokusgallery]

i have bad news for anyone who expects mental illness to be family friendly

^ yeah!

[taxi-boi]

free my man! he did all that shit but he was [stigmatized disorder] coded and all of his actions were the result of ableist/sanist writing decisions made by the author.

[some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat]

Hmmm but surely my vast skills unmatched by any mortal must mean that I do not actually have any of these disorders and I am only stealing the language of actually disabled people because I enjoy it <- guy who experiences symptoms constantly and does not function in day-to-day life

[eclaire-went-bam]

cluster b tumblr how do i bring up to a therapist or anyone really looking into personality disorders

i've been working with people for the past 11 years and nothing has been working and nobody knows what's wrong with me or how to treat/support me. not to mention i have such a problem with continuing to mask in therapy and such to the point where it's liiike highkey comical ??

i've bought it up to my therapist before but she really quickly shut it down, saying she doesn't like labels like that, but i'm getting a new therapist soon and i want this to be a priority just upfront. i'm really sick of the cycles i find myself in

[thedragonflycluster]

Begging people to learn what narcissistic personality disorder is (or any cluster b personality disorder) and to stop demonizing people who have it. Your abusive parent or ex doesn't have NPD. Even if they did THAT'S NOT WHAT MADE THEM ABUSIVE. The only thing that makes you abusive is... choosing to be abusive.

You're being ableist and insensitive by blaming an entire group of people for existing. Narcissistic abuse is not real. You wouldn't call it Bipolar abuse or Schizophrenic abuse. Educate yourself outside of shitty mental health tiktoks. Libraries, online studies, clinical papers as well as people sharing lived experience exist.

If you really want to be an advocate for the mentally ill, make sure where you ingest information is as credible and as non biased as possible. The moment you decide to blindly listen to strangers online about how a group of people just trying to exist in a world that already hates them is evil and cruel, you aren't an advocate. You are being fed misinformation that is truly harmful and hurts people.

From someone who is mentally ill & experienced lots of abuse, none of which was narcissistic or sociopathic, or whatever the hell else people want to call it.

People are scared to admit that people can just choose to be abusive and that it's not because of something else. Bad people also just exist, by the way. For no reason or excuse. I know that can be hard to accept but it doesn't mean you can inadvertently harm other people because of it. ☘️

[gurorori]

bein' completely honest here i have considered npd shu be4 soooo often cause the. the shoe fits (laugh please), i feel like his past & family environment cld really serve as a push, in the end cluster Bs r all jus' sets of survival & coping tactics ya adopt into yr personality as a result of unjust treatment & trauma <- this is true

nawt 2 armchair diagnose him but like we shall go over sum npd traits. cause we kno here it ain't jus' high self esteem (when the opposite is usually evident)

↓↓↓

intentionally or nawt i feel like exvalk shu especially fits the npd mold like dat was his entire character conflict /lh (i miss him)

> a grandiose sense of self-importance

need i say anythin'. listen 2 like the first shu voiceline in ! it was literally 'i am the emperor of ymnsk academy'. .. doesn't he also go as far as 2 declare himself the god of this world? like ''kono sekai no kami da' i remember dat. oh & how much stronger & imposin' his timbre was compared 2 how much softer his voice is rn. he was very much self-focused even though it manifested thru valkyrie, he was distinctly treatin' the unit as his creation & his own creation only. the focus on the self is very real

> a preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

i feel like if ya know shu ya will nod away at every single one of these cause. pre-fall valk <- dat wasn' even a fantasy, i feel like he was really narc-thrivin' back then cause it was the reality, they WERE on top. (srry if ya came here 4 thorough analysis i don' do that round here i jus' show ya smth & we both nod solemnly) success, power, brilliance, beauty, even ideal love (shnz wink?) - exvalk shu is both a perfectionist & a maximalist i think he craved it all, an' even when he has achieved great success he jus' can't get enuff, leadin' him 2 get overconfident 2 the point where he was /dat/ oblivious 2 his own (& valkyrie's, but at dat time he saw valkyrie as himself only, & the rest as just an extension, a tool) imminent demise practically laid out in front of him.

> a belief that he or she is special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions

this guy?

the guy who calls the general public philistines & views ppl who don' adhere 2 the same high standards he holds 4 himself imbeciles?

> a need for excessive admiration

the 'go on, praise me more!' guy? it might seem at first like he'd b too prideful 2 outright ask 4 external validation but if ya really look a bit into it, he's very reliant on it.. i think it gets amplified by bein' an idol too, bein' very self conscious of yr image. ofc mr oshisan wld find himself in a field where the entire point is 2 b the center of attention & appraisal.

> a sense of entitlement

i think this jus' circles back 2 every other point i made...!!!! exvalk shu is control & acknowledgment hungry. he wants 2 step on n crush the skulls of every1 who is unworthy & soar thru the skies on the mechanical wings of valkyrie.. or wtv. he is intensely focused on his goal 2 the point of tunnel vision cause he fully believes himself 2 deserve the throne. no1 else can b above him. he despises 'commoners' & those below him yet who brought him all the recognition & glory? wats the expression? rest on yr laurels? dunno if 'm usin' it correctly!!!

i also hope i don' come off as dramatisin' too much. like ik marionette is literally jus' one story but i feel it dat much stronger, i guess. 4 (introject) reasons. i hope these things don' read as a huge stretch.

> interpersonally exploitive behavior

> a lack of empathy

> envy of others or a belief that others are envious of him or her

gettin' lazy. i feel like this cld jus' b self explanatory... i don' wanna go in depth into every single one 4 shu, esp cuz. ya don' need every single criteria 2 match. 4 a diagnosis. but if ya have any specific moments 4 this one feel free 2 add on 👍🏼

> a demonstration of arrogant and haughty behaviors or attitudes

[justablah56]

hi guys @ my mutuals w npd did you guys know that I love you and think you're soso cool

[britneyshakespeare]

I feel like certain people on Tumblr have really been fighting for backwards progress when it comes to how we talk about mental illness and abuse. I see posts at least several times a week on my dash that seem to have the purpose of implying people with insert-mental-illness and/or insert-symptom are not abusive when they do insert-action-that-makes-people-uncomfortable, often times meaning to promote a more positive image of people with particularly stigmatized conditions, like personality disorders, mood disorders, psychosis, addiction, or neurodivergence. And I really really hate it because these posts almost always have the ultimate purpose of telling people not just "This thing is not inherently abusive," but often it comes across as "You were not abused."

I just find that to be really unhelpful and unintentionally hurtful, and for what? I believe that destigmatizing various mental conditions is a worthy cause, but at the same time this type of rhetoric seems to be so protective of people in whichever stigmatized group they're trying to advocate for, that it comes back around to a sort of respectability politics. Anybody can be an abuser. And someone's means and methods of abusing can very much be influenced by a condition they have. Why wouldn't it be? Their conditions will affect every aspect of their life and their interpersonal relationships. Especially if these issues are going untreated or being insufficiently managed. I don't understand why anyone would want to make it appear as if abusers are mostly neurotypical and mentally well people, or that if they aren't, then their conditions have nothing to do with it and the overlap is merely incidental. What? It makes it so hard for anyone who is a victim to come to terms and identify the dynamics of what they've gone through.

Addicts and mentally ill people don't have to be unproblematic in order to be humanized and accepted. And nobody profits from writing hard and fast rules about how abuse apparently works, drawing clear lines between which behaviors can, and cannot, ever be abuse.

[urproblematicfav-arsonk]

My favorite joke in s2 that absolutely no one cares about is when Willy first shows up and is talking about how cool Scary is, he says that he struggles with empathy and emotion and thinks Scary being able to,,,,have emotions(????) is like having a superpower and like, Willy's neurodivergent ass flipping that passive aggressive "ur disability is a superpower!!!" bullshit on its head and claiming that someone being able to experience basic empathy makes them "special!!!" and "unique!!". Thats genuinely so funny to me and a fun look into incorrect mindset that he has lol

[daffythefox]

those small jokes and jabs some people will make at you when you’re friends with them like. they just wear me down so much. like I could have a face up for multiple hours and be relatively fine and then they could start doing that (like. I mess up slightly and they make a joke at my expense, or someone points out something I’m sensitive about for a joke, or someone makes a joke where the punchline is “hey you seem like you’re barely holding in your emotions) all of a sudden it’s nine times the work to be out and social without acting like a total dick (shooting back with something that plays on their insecurities as well so they sill stop pressing me) or having to leave because I’m about to break down, which is incredibly embarrassing and makes me feel like I’m just making a show so other people will feel guilty (not that I’m worried they will feel guilty, I’m worried they will think I will want them to feel guilty and that they will see me as lesser for that instead). “get something you’re fine with people joking about so they will make jokes about that and it won’t hit you as hard” why are you entitled to being able to make jokes at my expense? maybe I don’t want you to make fun of me at all!

[featherymainffins]

You know what at this point I feel like maybe I just need to either get institutionalised again or start an internship again because I feel like I am getting nothing.

[some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat]

me reading relatable NPD posts coming across one about only showing kindness to not seem like a bad person: wait but kindness and compassion and selflessness come so naturally to me what do you mean you struggle with it? do I not have NPD after all?

my ?-8 year old self with anger issues whose entire idea of friendship is to convince people to give him attention and let him use their cool things with no desire to return the favor: uh

my 9-11 year old self still with anger issues but now having 0 friends and one attempted murder of another kid for the crime of not leaving the room because he said to: um

my 12-16 year old self actively homicidal sadistic and only not acting on those thoughts because he wants to be liked but many times trying out being cruel on separate accounts feeling no remorse for it: you sure?

my 17-20 year old self discovering that he can actually choose to be a good person indefinitely (the homicidal and sadistic thoughts don't have to be a ticking time bomb and are actually pretty easy to suppress) and carefully training himself to choose to be kind and hate the thought of hurting people and reprogramming his values to take pride in selflessness so that unnamed but observed NPD would reward such behavior: I think you forgot something

my (current) mid twenties self: hmm no I think I'm just really special and an exception to those symptoms or whatever sorry I think my NPD just makes me really cool instead <3

[eclaire-went-bam]

npd + autism culture is literally refusing to engage in your special interest because now it's so so mainstream and you don't wanna be associated with all the fakes who are into it

i pretend to not really enjoy space/astronomy anymore because holy shit so many people in my life who like astrology conflates the two. i can't talk about astronomy without someone bringing up some spiritual shit. and i know everything they do say that's correct, they're viewing it from a VERY different lens than i am

i hate family who act like "we're all stardust" is a new revelation to them in their spiritual journey, which i have ALWAYS stated growing up, albeit with a more scientific lens. they also act like it's some special notable thing that means we can manifest anything when i just think it's a fact of life & people only view it as something astonishing because of how mysterious and disconnected the stars seem to your average person

i can never bring up my nuanced takes on life outside earth because someone always dumbs it down or tries to make it fit their own personal ideology on real time, or they'll think i'm lying once i say The Proven Alien Hoax Is, ✨Surprise Surprise✨, A Hoax Again™.

don't get me started on all the alien theories rooted in Just Racism

there's also a lotta people who aren't necessarily spiritual or conspiratorial with it, but it's an aesthetic for them, which on its face is fine, but i hate the thought that i will be grouped in with people who just find kinship with the great unknown Like Y'all Don't Appreciate It Like Me!!!‼️ gatekeeping rn on god how is the special interest i was bullied for so mainstream in internal culture and aesthetics

so i just pretend i don't really care much about it & it's really diminished by love of space & that's a shame & all but idk what else to do

nevermind the fact that when i was like 7 years old i cleared out two whole libraries of their astronomy books by reading every single one regardless of reading level

nevermind the fact most things i own are based on space

nevermind the different space and aerodynamic museums ive been to

nevermind me being able to name certain events just based off photos

nevermind me still owning a lotta books

nevermind me opting to study physics so i could better appreciate space

how dare my special interest be stolen ‼️‼️‼️

[glitchdollmemoria]

the ever present dichotomy of "omg yayyy my posts are blowing up haha ^_^ people recognize that im so smart and correct hehe yayyyy" vs "oh fucking dammit my posts are blowing up and they ARENT COMPLETELY PERFECT AND NOW MORE PEOPLE MIGHT TRY TO CRITICIZE ME, SOUND THE ALARM SET UP THE BUNKER GET THESE FUCKING EYES OFF ME"

[bricky-brikson]

hey! this is chance & here’s week 2's prompt. when you write or create an oc, do you like to reference elements from your life? if yes, name a few. if no, why not?

Pull from my life ? Sort of. Specifically, myself. I often make my villains by extrapolating my worst behaviours. Felix Abner, the villain of my main WIP, started as a self insert.

I have BPD, quiet type, but I always think about what a worse version of myself would be like, a version of myself who didn't have the crippling anxiety that holds me back from making a scene or hurting people. Felix started as that different version of me, although he has certainly changed over time and has many aspects of his character that no longer resemble me. However, his behaviours centred around obsession and love still pull from my own disordered thinking.

Cassedy Lowell, the main character of that same story, has NPD. Although I don't have NPD, I do use some of my own self-aggrandizement as inspiration for writing him and his thought processes. I often dream of being famous or widely recognized, so I gave him similar desires then built from there (with advice from acquaintances with NPD).

I find it therapeutic to put my mental issues into my characters, especially the issues that cause me to imagine violence or have upsetting intrusive thoughts. Writing characters who go through with those thoughts lets me handle those ideas in a safe place where no one actually gets hurt.

Also, my life isn't really that interesting, so I don't have any cool events to pull from. If I had a more exciting life I'd probably use it as inspo, but I'm a pretty boring person from the outside. All the interesting things happen in my noggin.