#i have schoolwork i have to do now goodbye

[medievalthymes]

fitzchivalry farseer // the wolf and the lamb

fool's assassin / peter recieved one of the animals on his knife - stanley berkeley / @ abhorarchive /fool's assassin /agnus - konstantin korobov / ink-the-artist / fool's errand / wonderland-mp3 / @ abhorarchive / solitary-sister / oscar wilde / bilal al-shams - sacrifice / anguish - august friedrich schenck / fool's fate / the wolf and the lamb - nah

[vse-kar-vem]

UPLOADED !!!!!! AWAITING REVIEW !!!!!!! 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

[stars-for-circe]

Hot To Go

Song inspo!! - HOTTOGO by Chappell Roan

Tags / cw: headcanons, cheerleader!reader x dropout!ellie, fluff, Highschool au, Ellie is older by 1 year, reader is in senior year, 90s era

Dropout!Ellie who always does her best to show up and be supportive of your cheerleading

She always makes sure to pick you up every Friday night after practice, long after the sun has set and dew had started to form on the cold grass field.

She makes sure to wait by her pickup truck in the parking lot, leaning against the drivers side door and listening to music on her walkman until you come over to meet her.

She always greets you with a kiss on the cheek and one of her jackets to keep you warm in your thin uniform - the smell of her wrapped around you makes you feel so cozy.

Dropout!Ellie who lets you hangout with her in the back of her truck after practice, eating the worst junk food known to man as you gossip about people from your school

You’re sitting in the back of her truck, cuddling her under a shared blanket as you share a greasy cheese pizza - your legs intertwined as you try to feed her a slice with her eyes closed, making you both giggle as she fails miserably.

While she dropped out a couple years ago, she was still in the grade above you, so you have some shared memories about school. There are certain people she knows about, but most of them that you gossip about are complete strangers.

“No fucking way, he still goes there? Dude’s like a super duper senior at this point!”

Dropout!Ellie who won’t let you go home without a proper goodbye, leading to giggly make out sessions in her truck as you both try to hide from the automatic nightlights in your driveway.

Dropout!Ellie who sneaks into your school to watch your routines during matches, and somehow never gets caught.

At this point, you’re 99% sure she’s bribing the office ladies not to rat her out because they still have a soft spot for her.

Ellie never fucking tells you when she’s gonna show up, so every single time it takes you by surprise when you see her hiding behind the bleachers and cheering you on as you balance at the top of the pyramid.

And every single time, you almost fall from how distracted you get.

Dropout!Ellie who tries to involve herself with your schoolwork and be helpful, but is the exact opposite of what she attempts to do.

You’re studying for finals at the park while Ellie swings upside down on some random tree branch, blasting rock so loud that you can hear it all the way on the bench.

All of a sudden you hear her run over to you, leaves crunching under her feet, and two heavy hands landing on your shoulders

“So whatcha doinggg??”

She immediately regrets asking, because now you’ve trapped her next to you and planted a massive textbook in front of her to help you study.

“Babe- I dropped out in grade ten there’s no way I can help with any of this shit-”

Secretly, she gets a little sad sometimes because she can’t connect with you about school or share classes with you since she dropped out.

Dropout!Ellie who tried doing your makeup once, and you never let her go near it again because of how bad it was.

“No- Ellie it’s meant to be sparkly on the inner corner-”

“Stop with the fucking medical terms and just let me-”

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO-”

You were 27 minutes late to practice that day because of how much Ellie insisted she do your makeup even though it wasn’t necessary.

You spent those 27 minutes desperately trying to wipe off the bright blue glitter she’d spread all the way up to your eyebrows.

Sometimes you still find pieces of glitter in your carpet from the whole fiasco.

You help her feel better, though, by letting her pick out which bows to put in your hair and which colours you can use for eyeshadow during games.

Dropout!Ellie who makes sure she’s always there with you during games, even when she can’t make it herself.

While you were busy getting dressed into your uniform, she was fiddling around with you pom-poms, eyeing all the pretty colours and sparkles.

She wanted to stay as long as she could until you had to leave for the game, because this time she couldn’t go with you.

But a sharpie on your desk caught her eye, and she suddenly had a small idea on what she could do.

And hours later, after the game, when you went to grab your stuff to leave, you noticed a tiny little black smudge on the handle of your pom-poms. And upon taking a closer look, a small smile made its way to your face after you saw your girlfriend’s faded initials hidden behind all the ribbons and plastic.

Dropout!Ellie who cannot wait for summer, when she can finally have you all to herself without school or practice or homework getting in the way.

Half of the summer you aren’t even sleeping at home. Instead, Ellie sneaks you out of the house and drives three hours into the middle of nowhere to look at the stars.

She puts up some blankets and pillows in the back of her truck, brings out a radio softly playing nirvana, and a Tupperware box of cookies she made to share as you lay in the back of her truck to stargaze.

She points out the bigger ones, and the ones making constellations to you as you wrap your arms around her and listen to her nerdy mumbling, slowly lulling you to sleep.

“See? That one there’s called Ursa Major. I uh, read it somewhere a while back in one of those astronomy books you got me.”

“…mhm…”

She giggles at your quiet chirps to her explanations as your slowly fall asleep, before pulling a blanket over you and lets you drift off under the stars.

And when you wake up - still outside in the back of her truck - resting on her now sleeping chest, you glance at Ellie and her resting expression. You watch how it becomes blanketed by the early morning sunrise, and you listen to how the radio is playing some indie country artist you couldn’t name.

And after a while, you decide that, despite the fact she’s a dropout and your a straight A cheerleader, and despair the fact that it is the most random pairing ever, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Taglist: @happysparklingshadows @irelandzo @r3starttt @iamaboringrattat @genderfluidlesbain999 @slut4mascss @rxreaqia @kylorey25 @massivepeacefemme @elliewilliamsfavborderhopper @ratdungeon @elxarw @mariasabanahabanabana @vvynia @abbyshands @littlegingerperson5 @flowersforvi

[suhlogic]

cold sweat [kim mingyu x fem!oc]

warnings: fwb, sexual tension, size kink, creampie, manhandling, daddy kink, overstimulation, mingyu is really touchy, dom!mingyu, sub!reader, fingering, unprotected sex , porn with little plot , body worship, pussy-eating, car sex , a bit of a self-indulgent fic

you and mingyu have been friends since your senior year of high school. the two of you were as thick as thieves, it didn’t matter if there was the risk of being separated in college— you two would always find each other during holidays and summer breaks in your hometown. but there was just one problem: you were falling hard and fast for the one and only kim mingyu. your mingyu who’s six feet and two inches tall of pure happiness and sweet disposition, the one who’d drop everything for you whenever you’re down, the person who was always cheering you on, and not to mention how handsome he is with his tan skin and prominently defined arms with his toned back as wide as the pacific ocean and those toned abs— but god, his smile and his contagious laugh that you could just constantly put on repeat no matter what time of day it is has you secretly pining away for your best friend. 

being physically intimate with him was not an uncharted territory  for the two of you, it just sort of happened one time when he came home drunk to your place and stumbled on your bed falling into a deep slumber as he cuddled you close in his hazy state. but you two never really brought up that night ever again, it did not matter if you two were sober or not, one of you would always offer cuddles and maybe a few stolen kisses in between especially when the both of you were stressed over schoolwork. it didn’t take that long for you to notice that mingyu was initiating them more often but repressed the thought that he could actually like you because you were just silly old you— always the best friend, never the girlfriend. but, little did you know, he fell first for you. of course he’d never admit that for the sake of protecting the friendship.

[10:00PM]

it was already late at night and you couldn’t stop tossing and turning in your bed so you decided to get up and shower to get ready for the 24/7 gym just near your apartment complex. after getting your things prepared, you decided to ring up mingyu to join you on your workout—or as he calls it, “gymscapade” for when you both get so stressed you need to work out a sweat. he picks up after two rings, voice clearly woken up from a deep slumber. “hey, what’s up?” he replies, “would you wanna go workout with me right now?” you ask, hoping he’s not too lazy in the confines of his bed on the other line.  “yeah, just let me get ready in a bit. call you soon when i’m there.” he says with a yawn. “okay, just meet me at the gym near my place just so i can get a good warmup.” you say as the both of you exchange your goodbyes. 

you make it to the gym not long after and decided to unzip your jacket halfway through your warmup. you were actually the only one in the gym since it was already quite late. while working up a sweat on the lat pulldown machine, you saw mingyu from the corner of your eye entering wearing  grey sweatpants and a compression tank top. he starts to warm up for a bit as you went to where he was, “what are you going to do today?” he asked, stretching out his arms. “i’ll just do a few upper and lower body workouts, maybe squeeze in some lifting too,” you say, as you take a sip from your water bottle. it never really struck you how handsome mingyu was until as of late, it just wasn’t in the books for the two of you to actually get together or even fuck at the very least but knowing how tiny and short you were compared to his huge, tall frame made you run a bit hot and wet down there. 

“care to spot me while i do bench presses?” he says as he takes off the dumbbells from the racks. you could barely lift what he pressed, it’s almost all-consuming seeing mingyu lay on the bench while you looked down at him as he lifted and praising him every time he’d do it. this position was not good for your health, all you could ever think about was him eating you out whenever he would moan out of exertion. you still had a few sets on the lat pulldown machine to go and asked him to spot you, to help you with your form since he was going to the gym longer than you have been. 

mingyu couldn’t stop looking at you. your hair up in a messy ponytail, wearing a cute workout set with just a pastel pink sports bra with tight-fitting compression shorts of the same color. you were so oblivious yet fucking obvious about how bad you wanted your friend to fuck you and he saw right through it. the way your skin would suddenly feel warm under his touch or how you’d hide the hitches in your breath whenever he was too close to you while he observes your workouts. as you were doing your set, he was behind you closing the gap between you two as he made sure you were feeling the burn in all the targeted muscles. as he lowered down to your level on the seat, your back brushed against his crotch and felt something huge and hard. “good girl, just one more and you’re done.” he whispered lowly in your ear as you exhaled when you let go of the bar in an upwards motion. 

as the two of you were helping each other finish workouts, he couldn’t help but gaze into your eyes with a hidden intent and leaned in for a kiss which made you set your dumbbells down on the floor with a loud thud booming through the room. it took you aback and you pulled away from the kiss, mingyu was shocked at your action and stared at you with wide eyes. “i’m sorry i couldn’t help it ever since that night i never stopped thinking about you.” he says, as you pulled him in closer and kissed him harder as your tongues became entangled. “jump,” he whispers as he starts to carry you. fuck, it was really hot seeing him take the lead and it made you weaker for him than ever before. he puts you down before you could even leave hickeys on his neck, “y/n, i’m not going to fuck you here, let me be a gentleman and take you back to my place,” he says with a mischievous smile, lips red and swollen from the steamy makeup session. 

both of you grabbed your things and went inside his car, the tension was hot and heavy as his hand were rubbing your thigh further riling you up while he drove through the quiet streets of the city with you weak and submissive under his touch.    it was something that set your insides on fire— seeing mingyu’s hand veins pop out from gripping the steering wheel hard resisting himself from pulling over and fucking you in the nearest empty parking lot he could find. as soon as the stoplight turned red, he looked over at you with a menacing smirk. “god, you just look so pretty and desperate for me, huh?”

you couldn’t help but be more turned on as you felt your core get wetter just because of his words and before you knew it, he was taking off your seatbelt for you and leaning in for a desperate kiss with his tongue exploring your mouth as if he had been waiting for this moment. “go in the backseat, now” he said in between breaths while still cupping your face, his usual kind and bright eyes, now filled with lust and a dominating gaze desperately telling you how bad he wanted this. as you made your way into the back, he followed suit and did not waste time taking off your bra showing off your huge boobs, its buds already hardened from the cold air. he smirked as you whined at how he took your nipples between his fingers and played with them, mingyu then sat you on his lap and felt his manhood through his sweatpants as you were just only left in your tight shorts that were clearly thin. “princess, you look so pretty like this. all naked and wet for daddy, huh?” he whispered as you began to grind your clothed pussy on his hard dick, just more wanting more from him. craving mingyu like he was the kind of drug you needed, so intoxicating yet so worth the risk. 

with lust-filled eyes, mingyu looked up at you and pulled you in for a rough kiss, tongues tied with one another. as he pulled away once more, he started to leave love bites all over your neck and chest not giving a fuck who sees it— all he knows is that you're his by day's end. his rough hands began to roam your body and unclasped your bra skillfully letting your huge tits be free. his mouth immediately latched onto your tit while his fingers began to rub the nipple in between the other one.

"fuck, daddy please i wanna feel you inside," you moaned. he just smirked as he began to flip you onto the backseat so he'd be on top of you. "patience, angel, good girls get to cum." he whispers through gritted teeth, grinding his hard cock on your pussy, still clothed yet the thong you wore hardly doing anything to cover the wetness. as mingyu goes down on you to take off your underwear, he leaves kisses on your stomach and hips, "god, you look so gorgeous fucked out for me, why didn't we fuck sooner?" he moans in between kisses. he inserts two of his fingers inside your dripping pussy, "so fucking tight for me, yeah, can't wait for my dick to be inside hm?"  he says as you could  just lose all sense of rationality with how good he is with his fingers. he then lowers his head down in between your thighs and eats you out, licking your clit as if he's a starved man. 

"daddy, please i'm so fucking close," you whine, tears of pleasure filling your eyes. mingyu proceeds to insert three of his fingers and fucked you faster with it, his long and thick digits began to curl inside, "you like being a slut for me yeah? who fucking owns you?" he moans, "you daddy, please.. gyu.. .more," you say as he coaxes you into your first orgasm. he takes out his fingers, your cum coating his fingers as he proudly licks and sucks them off with pride with a devilish smirk. "you taste so sweet, angel... " he says as you begin to claw at the waistband of his  sweatpants, desperate to feel his dick inside you. he smirks at how helpless you look and removes his bottoms along with his boxers, his hard, long dick standing in its full glory slapping against his chiseled abs,  as its girth makes you wonder how it could fit inside of you.

"will it fit, gyu?" you ask in a small voice. "oh, we'll make it fit, princess, i've prepped you enough yeah?" he begins to jack off his dick preparing to put it inside. "fuck, you look so small for me, all for me..so pretty spread out like this," he moans as he teases the tip of his dick in between your folds and slowly thrusts it inside of you. "fuck...my god gyu so fucking good, please...move," you whine as he begins to slowly move inside of you taking his sweet time to be inside of you. god knows how fucking long he waited to have you like this, you just looked so angelic and slutty under him, it took everything in him to not fill you to the brim with his cum right there. his hands tightly gripped your waist as he pounded into you faster, feeling how big he is inside, hitting the tip of your cervix. you put your arms around the nape of his neck as you pull him in for a passionate kiss, hands roaming around his toned upper back leaving scratches on it as your nails dig into its broad surface. 

you feel his thrusts get faster and deeper as he began to rub your clit helping you to also reach your second orgasm, "i'm fucking close baby, " he moans as his thrusts get sloppier. "cum..inside..me..it's okay,'m on the pill daddy"you whine out as you two feel each other's release, his cum mixed with yours dripping down your thighs. mingyu pulled out as he reached into the glovebox compartment for a box of tissue helping you clean up. "fuck...what just happened?" he asks, giggling. "we fucked," you laugh as he pulls you closer to him in the tight space with the steam-filled windows from the sex earlier. "so...i like you..a fucking lot," he starts as he begins to intertwine his fingers with yours and kisses your forehead, "yeah, i do too gyu," you smile as you pull him in closer for another kiss, this time full of love and gentleness. "let's go home and finish what we started, yeah?" he says while you two begin to get dressed up and drive back to his place for the night. 

[asahicore]

real me, real you - psh

pairing. sunghoon x fem!reader (ft. jay... sorry)

synopsis. You’re your school’s popular pretty smart girl, but with a twist - you lead a completely different life at home, where you are messy, lazy and foul-mouthed. Only your family and best friend Sumin know about this, until Park Sunghoon, of all people, finds out. The resident cold and arrogant heartbreaker of your school decides to blackmail you into doing his biddings - but you can’t say no, not even when he asks you to be his fake girlfriend, otherwise he’ll ruin your reputation. But as you and Sunghoon get closer, you realize that maybe he’s not so bad after all, and you may be more similar than you'd originally though - all while your old childhood friend Jay watches from the sidelines.

genre. fake dating, high school au, very slight love triangle action, fluff and angst

warnings. this is the first thing i ever wrote so there may be slightly cringe and awkward things but i didn't wanna change anything lol, hoon is a meanie at some point and everything is dramatic and very fanfic-y, mild childhood trauma for both of them <3

word count. 22.9k

author's note. @end-hyphen genie this one is for you... i hope you still like this fic after all this time lol ! as i said in the warnings i only changed a few typos and punctuation from the original but i decided to not make any major changes bc i think it's nice to see what my writing was like when i had just started out!! hopefully i've improved lol, also this was not inspired by true beauty!! i've never seen the show nor read the webtoon. i was inspired by two mangas called switch girl and kare kano (or his and her circumstances) which have this plot of a girl being two different people at school and at home. anyways hope u guys enjoy this and if u do pls lmk <333

Nobody was supposed to find out.

You were the most popular girl in school, known for your looks, good grades, and kind personality. You had a nice group of friends and the whole school at your feet, students and staff alike. As the student representative, you had an image to keep up and needed everyone to think you were perfect; and they did. So you always wore a smile on your face, kept your head up and made sure your uniform was creaseless, all while maintaining the highest scores in your year. Always being friendly to your peers and helping them out prevented anyone from thinking you were a stuck-up goody-two-shoes. You made high school look like a breeze.

But such a life didn’t exist. Who was happy waking up at 6 a.m. every day and dedicating all of their time to schoolwork and student life? You certainly weren’t. What you thrived off of was having everyone think you were. Hearing whispers in the corridor of, “She’s so pulled together!” or “I wish I had her life”, now, those skyrocketed you to heaven. The cherry on top was a nod of approval from a teacher or an “outstanding job again, Y/N” as they handed you back your graded paper. Your favorite color had become the red of the pens your teachers used to write A+ at the top of the page. 

You’d always been academically gifted, but as you heard those words more and more, you’d started craving them and doing everything to hear them again until they started controlling you instead of the other way around. Everything you did needed to be perfect. And that was how you had created this persona of the perfect girl who had it all together at the ripe age of 17. But that’s exactly what it was; a persona. 

As soon as you stepped off the bus and waved goodbye to your friends, you became another person. Or more accurately, you reverted back to your natural self. You weren’t an evil person by any means; it wasn’t your intention to actively deceive everyone at school, it was more of a side effect of keeping up appearances. Only your family and your closest friend Sumin knew what you were truly like: greedy, messy, short-tempered, self-centered, and sometimes downright insufferable. Your younger siblings, Sunoo and Yeeun, liked to joke that you had a button you switched on and off whenever you left the house. When on, you were the sweetest girl ever, but when off, all your vices crept up and let themselves known to the world, or rather to your family. You didn’t mean to make them suffer, but after a long day of being perfect, you needed to blow off some steam; if they had to be your metaphorical punching bag, so be it. 

When Sunoo entered high school, you made him swear he wouldn’t say a thing to anyone. You trusted him and knew he wouldn’t let your secret out - it was too entertaining for him to see you act perfect at school and reveal your true self at home. There was no risk of anyone finding out - you were so intent on keeping the act up that nothing ever slipped you. It had been that way since middle school, and your senior year of high school was going to be no different.

Nobody was supposed to find out, so what was Park Sunghoon doing right in front of you in the frozen aisle of the corner convenience store, just when you happened to be bare-faced, with thick glasses on and a pimple bright red from just having been popped, in your comfiest pajamas, and a tub of Ben & Jerry’s in hand?

“Kim Y/N? Y/N, is that you?”

You froze in place, not knowing how to react. There was no way this, your worst nightmare, was actually happening.

When you regained your senses, flight seemed the best way out of this. You avoided Sunghoon’s curious gaze and curtly replied, “No, sorry, I don’t know who that is,” before walking away, iron grip on the ice cream.

But the boy was quicker than you and grabbed you by the wrist, forcing you to turn around. “It is you! Come on, Y/N, aren’t we friends? Do you not recognize me or something?”

If it wasn’t for the panic coursing through your veins at that moment, you might’ve laughed at his question. How could you not recognize the Park Sunghoon? Along with Park Jongseong and Sim Jaeyun, or Jay and Jake as they liked to be called, he was only the most popular guy in your year - hell, in the whole school. The three of them had gained attention from freshman year as the three handsome soccer players. Jake and Sunghoon had been attached at the hip since kindergarten, Jay joining them sometime in middle school when he came back from his year abroad in Seattle. 

Your parents and Jay’s had been college best friends and you two had therefore grown up together, and even used to be quite close. You’d grown apart when he joined Jake and Sunghoon’s friend group, and although you still got on well, there was always a bit of an awkward atmosphere when you caught up with each other.

The three friends had quite different personalities but their complicity and shared history made them stick together. Jake was known for his academic achievements, rivaling yours, and his friendly personality; Jay, for his surprisingly funny antics once you got past the somewhat menacing appearance (which he blames on his resting bitch face). Sunghoon, on the other hand, was as cold as ice, so much that he’d earned the nickname of ice prince, but girls continued to swoon over him due to his incredibly handsome features. When turning down girls, Jake and Jay always tried to let them down gently, but Sunghoon wasn’t one to hold back: he’d laugh in their face or straight up say no, staring them right in the eyes. Most confessions ended in tears (not his, obviously), but girls kept on testing their luck, thinking they might be the one to melt the ice prince’s cold, dead heart.

Clearly, you weren’t Sunghoon’s biggest fan.

His behavior had always made you wonder why Jay and Jake were friends with a person like him. They went back a long time, but how did Sunghoon not become a nice and approachable person like his two best friends? They both seemed so genuine, but he looked like he was hiding something. This was what had made you weary of him; you knew all too well how easily an image that was the opposite of reality could be created. So on one hand, you sort of felt for him, thinking he might be in a similar situation as you. But on the other hand, you couldn’t help but feel some kind of jealousy: if you acted the way he did, you wouldn’t receive half the admiration you did. Hell, you’d probably be hated for it - no one likes a girl that’s both successful and bitchy about it. 

One thing was sure, though, and that was that you wouldn’t call the two of you friends, as he just had.

“Y/N? You okay?”

The pure panic in your eyes must’ve made Sunghoon realize something was wrong. He released you and looked you up and down, trying to take your appearance in. The Y/N he was seeing right then was worlds away from the one he was accustomed to at school. 

You realized there was no ignoring him, so you collected yourself and faced Sunghoon. “Uh, yeah, hi, Sunghoon. Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting to see anyone I knew here.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, no wonder. You look quite… different from what you usually do,” he said, voice laced with sarcasm.

This whole situation got you dumbfounded. You usually knew exactly what to retort when somebody messed with you, your friend or a classmate, but this time, you were completely speechless. You just wanted to escape.

“Well, it was nice seeing you Sunghoon, but I need to get home.” You pivoted on your heels and started walking again, but Sunghoon had other plans.

“Aw, come on, so quickly? We barely got to chat!” He followed you through the aisles as you picked up the remaining ingredients on the list your mother had given you as quickly as you could.

“I didn’t know you needed glasses. Do you wear lenses at school?”

“Yes. I need them to see.”

“I figured.” You could hear the smirk in his voice, and your shock was slowly morphing into anger. Were teenage girls so blind that they’d have a crush on someone with such an abominable personality, no matter how angelic his face was? 

“I really like your outfit, by the way. Looks super comfy.” And as if your embarrassment couldn’t grow any bigger, he added: “Too bad you got a stain on the shirt.”

You looked down at yourself and noticed a huge grease stain on the collar of your shirt. Admittedly, you didn’t always have the best table manners. 

You swore under your breath. It was quiet for a couple minutes as you arrived at the register and paid for your items, Sunghoon still on your tail. He had apparently given up his purchases to focus solely on tormenting you. When you walked out of the store, you thought he might finally be done. But of course, he wasn’t.

“You know, my sister has this really effective pimple cream she uses. Do you want me to ask her what brand it is?”

That was it. You sighed deeply. “Alright, Park. What do you want?”

When you turned to face him fully, arms crossing over your chest and an obviously tired expression on your face, the mischievous glint in his eyes made you realize something. That idiot was enjoying this. 

Indeed, he beamed down at you. You had probably never seen him smiling so widely. “Wow, Y/N, didn’t know you could have such an attitude.”

You stayed silent and continued staring at him, waiting for an answer. He mirrored your pose, out of instinct or to irritate you, you weren’t sure.

“You know, when I moved to this neighborhood before the start of school, I was definitely not expecting to see Perfect Miss Y/N out in her pajamas buying ice cream. I thought you were more into, I don’t know, rescuing puppies from fires or something. That sounds like something you’d do in your free time.”

“Well, is there anything wrong with what I’m doing?”

“Oh, absolutely not! Just a surprising sight. Makes me wonder what the rest of the school would say…” He looked intently at you, clearly waiting for a reaction. You weren’t about to give him one, though.

You chuckled and rolled your eyes, shifting your weight on your right foot. “Yeah, like anyone would believe you if you said you saw me looking anything else other than perfect.” It might’ve sounded arrogant, but that was the image people had of you. Even your friends asked you how you did it - if only they knew the truth.

At that, his smile got even brighter. “Don’t worry about that, I won’t need to tell anyone. I’ll just show them!” He pulled out his phone, showing you a picture of you in your god-awful pajamas searching for your favorite flavor of ice cream.

He watched as your face fell, taking your silence as an opportunity to go on. “You were so engrossed in the tubs of ice cream that you didn’t notice a dashingly handsome and tall young man very obviously taking pictures of you.”

This put you into panic mode again. It might have seemed foolish, but you hadn’t worked for years to create a perfect version of yourself only for a stupid boy to destroy it all with one picture. 

You sighed and lowered your head, taking a moment to think. You didn’t know Sunghoon that well, but you didn’t put it past him to send that picture to everyone and ruin your image in the process. You opted for honesty instead of bluff. You took your glasses off and looked back up at him; even if you couldn’t see him as well without them, maybe he’d see the despair in your eyes better.

“Park. I mean, Sunghoon. You can’t show that picture to anyone, okay? You have no idea how bad I need to keep up appearances. It’s really important to me, so just delete the picture and let’s never talk about this again, yeah?��

You tried smiling at him, but his expression infuriated you. You could tell he had something else up his sleeve. “Now, Y/N, why would I do that? If I’m gonna do something for you, you should do something for me.”

You weren’t sure if you wanted to hear the rest of his thoughts, but you needed to know. Eyeing him suspiciously, you told him to go on.

“Well, I can’t think of anything right now, but I’ll let you know when I do, okay? I’ll see you around, Y/N.” He flashed another one of his smiles, patted your head, and walked away, just like that, leaving you standing outside the convenience store on your own, a melting tub of ice cream in your plastic bag. At least for now, you were safe.

Right?

—

“You saw Park Sunghoon? As in, the Park Sunghoon?” your little sister Yeeun asked, looking at you with huge eyes. You two and Sunoo were sitting on your bed, sharing the ice cream by eating it directly from the tub.

“Yes, that’s literally what I’ve been saying this whole time. How do you know him anyway? You’re still in middle school…”

“Are you crazy? He’s famous in our whole school district! I wish we had cute boys in my school as well,” she sulked, pouting.

“That’s not the point, Yeeun,” Sunoo chimed in, then turned to you. “Well, this is either bad news or the start of a beautiful romance.”

“Sunoo! Take this seriously! I’m in a huge dilemma right now.”

Your siblings shared a knowing glance and snickered.

“Hey! I’m right here. I’m not overreacting, you know. If he does send those pictures around, I’m done for.”

“Oh, come on, Y/N, you’d be so much better off if you could be yourself at school. I see you there almost everyday, and the way you laugh always sounds so fake. Nobody would care if you forgot to put makeup on one day or had a crease in your shirt. If anything, it’d make you look more human.”

You could see where Sunoo was coming from, but you chose to ignore it. You sighed deeply. “You guys just don’t get it. They all see me as this perfect, put-together girl. If I showed them even a glimpse of the truth, everything would shatter. It’s too late to go back now.” You ignored their pitying looks and took another big spoonful of ice cream.

It was their turn to sigh. As always, it was impossible to reason with you. Deep in your thoughts, you added: “You know, there was something really off about him today. I’d never seen him act that way before.”

Your siblings looked at you questioningly. “He’s always so cold and distant towards everyone. I’ve only seen him smile when he’s laughing with Jake and Jay or when he makes fun of someone. But just now, he kept smiling at me like he was having fun. He even patted my head when he left.”

At that, Yeeun swooned dramatically, hands over her heart. You looked over at her and said, “I’d be swooning too if it was any other guy than Park Sunghoon. I’m more confused than anything right now, he was a completely different person from when I see him at school.”

They exchanged another look. “You guys stop doing that!”

“Well, it’s just that that sounds an awful lot like someone I know,” Sunoo replied. Realization hit you and you scoffed, mildly offended. At least you were nice to others at school and didn’t act like an asshole with a superiority complex.

“Anyway,” he continued, “what will you do about Sunghoon?”

“I’m not too sure. I guess all I can do is wait and see whatever it is he could want from me.”

“Yeah, do that, and then date him, please. If I can’t have him as my boyfriend, then I’ll have him as my brother-in-law,” Yeeun joked. You didn’t have it in you to retort anything back and started laughing along with her. 

If everything did shatter, at least you’d have your siblings to make you laugh.

— 

The next day, you made your way to the bus stop after your daily morning routine: jogging, showering, eating a filling breakfast, choosing the perfect accessories for your school uniform, applying just the right amount of makeup and going over your subjects and tasks of the day. As always, efficiency is the key. You had become so used to this routine that your body did it on its own, which let your mind wander wherever it pleased. Usually, you’d use this time to prepare yourself for the day ahead, but today, the only thing on your mind was Park Sunghoon. What was that boy up to? Was he up to anything, or did you completely imagine his mischievousness yesterday? In any case, you hoped it would all be over soon. 

You got on the bus and sat down next to Sumin. Your close friend group at school consisted of her, Park Sieun, Lee Heeseung and Choi Jiung, but she was the only one who knew about your secret. You had been friends for so long that you hadn’t even been able to hide it: she’d seen you from all angles, both before, during and after your transformation to who you were now. It was nice having someone else than your siblings to rely on and tell everything to. 

“Minie, you’ll never guess what happened yesterday. I ran into Park Sunghoon at the convenience store next to our apartment unit.”

She raised her eyebrows in surprise, but her reaction wasn’t as big as you thought it’d be. She smiled and said, “Huh! I knew he’d moved to our neighborhood, but I wouldn’t have thought he’d live so close to you that you’d even shop at the same place.”

She registered your confused expression and continued. “Didn’t you hear? He moved out of his parents’ house at the end of summer. Something about a huge fight with them that made him move out. But there are always so many rumors about him and his group that I don’t know what to believe.”

“Oh,” you mumbled, unsure what to say. Now that you thought about it, Sunghoon had mentioned moving in your conversation yesterday, but you were so preoccupied with him seeing you in your wild state that you hadn’t paid much attention to his comment.

“Wait, did he do something? Your face is telling me he did something.”

You got closer to her face and gestured for her to do the same. With lowered heads and in hushed tones, you said, “He saw me on off-mode.”

She gasped and jolted back in surprise, eyes wide and eyebrows shooting straight up. “What?”

You shushed her and pulled her in by her shoulders. “He even took pictures.” Your grip tight, you held her from jumping again. “That’s not even it. You know how he's always really cold and distant?”

“You mean how he’s always being a douchebag?” She scoffed. “Yeah, I know.”

You remembered that Sumin had been one of the first of many girls who shot their shot with Park Sunghoon, only to get rejected. You both grimaced at the memory that always left a bad taste in your mouth.

“He was completely different yesterday. Kept following me around the store and, I’m not sure, teasing me? Like trying to get a reaction out of me? In a weird half-friendly half-bully way.”

“Hm, you’re right, that doesn’t sound like him,” she mused. “It does sound like a stupid teenage boy though, which I guess he is, no matter how hard he tries to pretend he’s not.”

This is what you loved about Sumin. She could see right through people, and never hesitated to say what she thought of them, especially when they acted the way Sunghoon did. Sure, there were some personal feelings attached there, but she had quickly gotten over them when she realized how much of a douche he was towards everyone else.

When the bus stopped to pick up some more students, Heeseung hopped on. You quickly told Sumin to keep it a secret, at which she smiled and made a motion as if zipping her lips and throwing the key. If you told your friends about Sunghoon, you’d have to tell them the truth about how he had dirt on you, but you wanted to keep your friendship clean. You chatted the rest of the bus ride away and tried not to worry over Park Sunghoon too much.

When you finally got to school, you, Heeseung, and Sumin made your way to your classroom to join Jiung and Sieun. Before you could get there, however, Jungwon, an underclassman you had talked to a couple times for student council meetings, called out your name. You told your friends to go on without you and turned to the younger boy.

“Jungwon! Hi, what’s up?”

He seemed flattered that you had remembered his name but quickly got on with his business. “Um, I’m not sure why, but Sunghoon told me to come and get you? I’ve never talked to him, I think he just picked me randomly and assigned me a task…”

You sighed. Park Sunghoon truly was something. “Thanks for telling me, Jungwon. I’ll make sure he gets an earful for this, he has no right to boss students around like that.”

Jungwon’s eyes doubled in size as he frantically waved his hands in dismissal. “No! No need to do that, I don’t want to get in trouble with him. I’m just here to relay the message.” At that, he scurried off, and you headed towards Sunghoon’s homeroom. 

When you walked in, a few people were in the room, some girls gossiping with each other, a couple students doing some last-minute revision for a test. You found Sunghoon sitting at his desk, snickering with Jay and Jake and hoped that the subject of their laughter wasn’t you. They noticed you approaching and the two decent boys greeted you; the other one eyed you, that mischievous glint back in his eyes. What could he possibly have in mind?

“Hi, guys.” You smiled at Jay and Jake and reflexively stood closer to Jay. “Sunghoon, Jungwon said you wanted to see me?” you asked, trying to keep your impatience at bay.

“Oh, was that his name? Well, thank heavens for him, ‘cause I forgot my lunch at home. Would you be a sweetheart and go buy me something at the cafeteria? You know how everything runs out as soon as lunch period starts, and I get really cranky when I’m hungry.”

You stared at him, wide-eyed. His two friends’ reaction wasn’t very different from yours. Go buy him lunch? That’s what he wanted you to do?

“What? You don’t want to? That’s too bad, cause there’s a picture I think everybo-”

You cut him off before he could finish. “No! Of course I’ll do it! Can’t have our star player go hungry, now can we?” You cringed at your own words and Jay eyed you suspiciously. Sunghoon beamed, and Jake’s eyes darted back and forth between the two of you in pure confusion. “Um, any preferences?”

His smile got wider. “A tuna mayo would be amazing. Thanks, Y/N! You’re the best!”

“Sure…” you mumbled and quickly walked away, more bemused than ever. You checked your watch. You had 10 minutes before the first bell rang, and you could not be late for class, which meant you needed to hurry. 

You got back to Sunghoon’s classroom just a minute before the first bell. To your dismay, the class was almost full, and girls had gathered around him, trying to get his attention, but he seemed unbothered by their presence. You braced yourself and walked towards him. As your presence rarely went by unnoticed, most eyes were on you and Sunghoon. Not only were you two some of the most popular kids in school, you also happened to be handing him his lunch, a never-seen-before sight between the two of you. 

“I also got you banana milk, for good measure…” 

What had seemed like a great idea a few minutes ago, something to appease the devil in him, now felt like the biggest mistake of your life. The girls around him started whispering left and right and you weren’t sure whether they felt bad for you, sensing an incoming rejection, or wanted to tear you to shreds for even trying. 

The whispers grew even louder when Sunghoon took the sandwich and milk from your hands, thanking you with a smile. You’d be lying if you said your heart hadn’t done a small jump in your chest at that moment. As much as you hated to admit it, if looks were the sole factor for popularity, then you could definitely understand why Park Sunghoon was so loved. His face looked like it had been carved by the gods themselves. When his eyebrows weren’t turned in a frown, his eyes looked almost sweet, especially when he laughed. His two moles gave him so much charm, the curve of his nose was so delicate and his pink lips looked so, so soft… 

You cleared your throat and smiled back at him before turning around to walk to your own classroom.

“Wait, Y/N!”

You turned back around, all eyes on you. You could feel Jay’s eyes burning holes into you. Sunghoon was still smiling. You thought you’d seen him smile more in the past two days than you had in all the years you’d known him.

“I’ll see you later.”

—

And indeed see him later you did. You always hung back a bit after classes ended to get homework done or work out student council issues. Being in an empty classroom brought you some peace and quiet, very different from the busyness and noise of your home. You couldn’t even focus in your own room, your siblings or parents always barging in to disturb you. The after-school janitors now knew you by name and saved cleaning the classroom you were sitting in for last. 

You had been barely sitting there for 5 minutes, nose buried in a math problem, when Park Sunghoon graciously strode in, swung the chair in front of you around and sat on it, arms crossed over its back as he peered at you. You didn’t even bother to look up at him as you spoke. “What, Park?”

“Oh no, back to last name basis already?” he joked. You didn’t laugh. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Wow, tough crowd. Anyways, thanks for the sandwich today.”

This made you look at him. Or rather, shoot daggers at him. “Yeah, what the hell was that all about? Did you have to pull that little stunt in front of everybody? You know what our school is like! Rumors are gonna start spreading like wildfire.”

“I already told you,” he said with a defensive tone. “Forgot my lunch, everything was gonna run out, didn’t want to get hungry later,” he said as he shrugged, completely ignoring the latter part of your complaint.

“And you couldn’t have gone and gotten it yourself?”

He beamed. If it wasn’t so damn beautiful, you probably would have started getting tired of his stupid smile already. “Why would I do that when I could get you to do it?”

You sighed. “I knew you weren’t the nicest guy, but I didn’t know you could be such an asshole, Park.”

If you hadn’t been staring him down so intently, you might not have noticed the falter in his smile, so quick it was.

“Oh, come on, Y/N. If anything, I’m doing you a favor by not sending out to everyone that picture you so desperately want to keep secret. Thing is, doing that wouldn’t benefit me in any way, except for getting the satisfaction of seeing everybody realize you’re not as perfect as they think you are. Whereas holding it over your head allows me to do basically anything I want with you. And that, that is just so much fun,” he beams, lowering his voice into a whisper for the last sentence.

What a psycho, you thought. You just sighed once more and returned to your textbook, too weirded out to say anything back. You hoped the silence would make Sunghoon realize how creepy what he had just said was. 

It was quiet in the room, only the sound of your pencil scratching your notebook could be heard. Sunghoon sat in the same position and watched you working. He often saw you like this, focused and benched over a desk, in the library or walking past your classroom. But it was always in passing, and looking at you so closely made all the world’s difference. He could see how you scrunched your nose when the problem got particularly difficult, or how your smirk as you solved another one made your left dimple appear. He also liked the annoyed looks you gave him every once in a while, as if his presence was disturbing your focus. He wasn’t sure what it was, but there was something about seeing someone who always went about their way with such purpose sitting in such silence.

He decided to break that silence. “You know, Jay was asking about you earlier.”

You kept your eyes trained on your notebook but abruptly stopped writing, your pencil leaving a small scratch on the paper. This didn’t go unnoticed by Sunghoon. “Did he?” you said, trying to sound as uninterested as possible, although you couldn’t help but be curious. Ever since Jay and you had grown apart, there was always a part of you wondering what he was up to, how he was doing, if he thought of you once in a while or reminisced about the good old times as you sometimes did. 

“Yeah. I mean, everyone did, but I didn’t really care,” he answers simply, and even though you’re itching to push him to say more, you stay quiet. “You’re right, by the way, I do know the people in our school. The rumors have already started spreading. Up to you whether you wanna deny them or not, though,” he said with a smirk.

“Don’t even think about it, Park. There’s not a chance in hell I’ll let them think we have a thing going on. I have a reputation to uphold, you know.”

He chuckled. “Trust me, I know. Anyway, he wanted to know why you did that for me. Guess he was jealous you didn’t do it for him, too.”

“Why would he be?” you asked, trying to make the question sound as innocent as possible. 

“Well, you two go a long way back, right?” he asked tentatively, as if testing the waters.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Then it was probably weird for him to see his childhood best friend and his best bro interacting out of nowhere, even though we’ve both seen each other around a lot and nothing has ever come out of that. Don’t you think?”

A beat passed as you thought about it. “Yeah, I guess that’d look weird to him,” you replied, trying to keep the disappointment out of your voice.

You quickly wrote down your last answer, packed up your things, and stood up. “Well, I’m off now. I’ll see you around, unfortunately.”

Sunghoon, surprised at your quick departure, scrambled to get off his chair and chased after you. “Do you want me to drop you off? I’ve got a car, you know. Much more glamorous than the bus.”

You turned around and looked at him. “I’d rather get hit by said bus than get in your car, Park.”

He stood there, watching you walk away with a smirk on his face as your ponytail swayed from side to side. This was going to be a challenge. You were going to be a challenge. 

Thing is, he loved a good challenge.

—

Back home, you flopped down on your bed and buried your face in your pillow. You laid there for a few minutes, taking some time to gather your thoughts and try to understand Sunghoon’s actions. It was of no use; you weren’t a mind-reader, and he seemed impossible to figure out. He could make you do basically whatever he wanted to, and he decided to make you get him lunch, creating rumors along the way? What could he possibly get out of that?

Your reflexions were quickly interrupted, however, by a flurry of incoming messages on your phone. Someone had posted a photo of you handing his banana milk to Sunghoon on your school’s Instagram account - because apparently, your school was so obsessed with gossip that they had created an Instagram page just for it. The photo had blown up among your peers and it made you wonder if people really were that bored with their lives.

People you barely knew but that felt entitled to knowing your relationship status were DMing you, asking about today’s events. You quickly got tired of it, so you texted your worried and confused friends that you didn’t feel like talking tonight and would catch up with them tomorrow. You opened your textbook, deciding that studying would be the best and most efficient distraction.

When your parents called you and your siblings for dinner, you still weren’t feeling great. Your family quickly registered your annoyed expression and could only hope for the best. You already weren’t the easiest to live with, but when you were tired, you just got a hundred times worse.

“So, how was everyone’s day?” your mom asked cheerily.

Yeeun’s eyes lit up instantly. “Mine was great! I met a really cute boy. His name is Nishimura Riki and he just transferred from Japan.”

“Oh, that’s nice!”

“You’re too young to be thinking about boys, Yeeun.”

Your mom and dad had replied at the same time, then gave each other a stern look.

“I’m not thinking about him, Dad, just looking,” your sister replied, earning a chuckle from your concerned father. 

“Mine was alright. I guess the start-of-a-new-year excitement has already worn off. After a week,” Sunoo said with a sigh. 

Your mom turned to you. “What about you, Y/N?”

“It was fine.”

The sharpness of your tone changed the atmosphere in the room at once. You ignored the looks your family exchanged and continued eating your food, eyes not leaving your plate.

For some reason, Sunoo thought it’d be a great idea to chime in. “She’s not happy because she had to buy Park Sunghoon his lunch and everybody went crazy over it.”

“Sunoo!” you protested. Your parents didn’t need to know about this sort of stuff.

“Park Sunghoon? Is that someone we’re supposed to know?” your dad questioned.

Yeeun scoffed. “Uh, he’s only the most popular and handsome guy at Y/N and Sunoo’s school, dad. Duh.”

“Right. Duh,” your dad said, imitating your sister’s tone.

“And why did you have to buy his lunch, Y/N?” your mom asked.

“Because he saw what she looks like when she’s not at school,” Sunoo said, not even giving you the chance to reply yourself.

“Sunoo!” you scolded again.

“And now I guess he’s using that against her to get her to do what he wants? Right, Y/N?”

You glared at your brother and let a beat pass. “Right,” you reluctantly admitted.

“Lucky…” your sister mused, expression like she was daydreaming about being Sunghoon’s personal assistant.

Your dad ignored your sister and looked straight at you. “That’s inadmissible, Y/N. You can’t let him do that.”

“Your father’s right, sweetie. It’s not right,” your mom added when you stayed silent.

With everybody’s eyes on you, you felt obligated to reply. “It’s fine. It’s not like he asked me to do anything crazy. I’m sure he’ll stop soon enough.”

“You know, boys that age, they’ll do anything to get a girl’s attention,” your dad warned. “Just ignore him and he’ll go away.”

“If she ignores him, he’ll tell everyone what she’s really like,” your brother explained.

“And what’s so bad about that? I’m sure it’d be easier if you stopped lying to everyone.”

Everyone suddenly stopped in their motions, wondering why your mom would say something so true yet so controversial. You looked up at her. “What’s so bad about that? What’s so bad? I don’t know, maybe the fact that I’ve worked so hard all these years for everybody to like me and look up to me only for a stupid picture taken by a stupid boy to ruin everything,” you said all in one breath, voice coming out harsh. You were tired of having to explain the same thing over and over again - your parents just didn’t understand why you did what you did.

Your mom opened and closed her mouth again, knowing it was useless trying to talk sense into you. It never ended well when you had this conversation.

“Who put mushrooms in this anyway? You know I hate mushrooms,” you said before filling up your bowl and taking it to eat in your room, making sure you’d slammed your door behind you.

—

On the bus the next day, you tried to explain the events of the previous day to your friends.

“There’s nothing really to it. He just asked me to get him lunch so I did, and when I handed it to him, his whole class was there and saw everything.”

“I get that, but I just don’t understand why he made you do it in the first place, or why you agreed,” Heeseung said, “it’s so unlike the both of you to do something like that.”

You hadn’t even thought to come up with an excuse for your and Sunghoon’s yesterday - your friends were definitely super confused, but you didn’t want to tell them the truth, so you had to quickly find something to say that was somewhat believable, and change the subject.

“I have no idea why he did what he did, but I didn’t want to cause a scene so I just agreed. I don’t really care, to be honest, I just wish it didn’t have such consequences. People seem to think we’re characters on a stupid Netflix coming-of-age series or something, when we literally just go to their school.”

As soon as you’d turned your phone back on this morning, it started pinging with all the messages that had flown in since last night. People were talking about it everywhere: Kim Y/N, highly sought-after bachelorette, had offered Park Sunghoon, notorious rejecter of girls and breaker of hearts, a sandwich and a banana milk, and he had taken them. What’s more, he had been seen at lunch heartily eating them. This was serious.

You didn’t think things could get any worse until you got to school. You were used to random people coming up to you in the hallways or in class for help, except today they weren’t asking for help at all - they were asking what was up between you and Sunghoon, as though handing him a tuna mayo was like asking for his hand in marriage. Most of them were just curious, but some, especially his fanclub members, had an aggressive tone to their voice, which you weren’t used to. If people started liking you less because of Sunghoon, you were going to kill him.

But you had to hold onto that thought, because an all too familiar voice had suddenly called out to you on your way to class. You took a deep breath and turned around, watching him take long strides towards you. You immediately became aware of the amount of people in the hallway and realized you couldn’t talk to him like you had the previous day in front of everybody. You mustered the fakest smile you could and greeted him.

“Hi, Sunghoon. What can I help you with today?”

He smiled, obviously enjoying the fact that you had to be nice to him. “I’ve got my sports bag because of practice later tonight. Mind holding onto that for me for the day?”

Your fake smile turned a bit crazy as your eyes widened in disbelief. "Don’t you have a locker for that, Sunghoon?”

“Yeah, but it’s so much more fun if you’re the one to hold it.” And with that, he threw the bag in your direction, leaving approximately 0.5 seconds to catch it. “I’ll need that later today. Meet me in front of the locker rooms after school, yeah?”

He didn’t bother to wait for your answer and walked away, Jake and Jay following closely behind. Jay sent you a questioning look, to which you could only reply with a shrug. If it wasn’t for all the students in the hallway, you would’ve been yelling Sunghoon’s ear off at that point. Unfortunately, that wasn’t a possibility, so you just smiled to your friends who were looking more confused than ever.

“Let’s just go to class, guys.”

—

Throughout the whole day, you could feel people staring at you, then at the bag you were holding, then starting to whisper among themselves. You tried your best to concentrate in class so you could momentarily stop pondering over what Sunghoon’s evil master plan might be, but everyone seemed bent on making that usually simple feat impossible. When 3:30 p.m. finally came around, you bid your friends goodbye and headed to the boys’ locker room. Every boy walking in eyed you suspiciously, unsure as to what you could be doing there. Of course, Sunghoon had to take his sweet time to get there. 

Staring at the opposite wall and planning Sunghoon’s murder in your head, you hadn’t noticed Jay and Jake arriving. Jay signaled for his friend to go inside the locker room and told him he’d join him in a minute. He waved his hand in front of you to get your attention, a smile on his face. You sighed in relief at the familiar sight of your friend.

“Hey, Jay. Sorry I didn’t see you.”

“You okay, Y/N? You look like you’re about to murder someone,” he said, slightly amused.

“If only you knew,” you mumbled.

He noticed the bag in your hand. “You waiting for Sunghoon?”

“Yeah. If only he could hurry up a little bit. I’ve got stuff to do.”

There was something about Jay that made it impossible to lie to him. Maybe it was the fact that you had known each other for so long, way before you’d turned into what you were now, that made you feel as though showing a side of you that gets annoyed and impatient and doesn’t smile all the time was okay.

Jay looked at his feet before looking back up at you. You were still staring at the wall but your murderous thoughts had somewhat calmed. “Mind telling me what this whole thing with Sunghoon is about?”

You turned to him and were about to fumble for an answer when someone interrupted you. “What whole thing with me?”

Whew. Saved by Sunghoon. You didn’t like that it was thanks to him that you could get out of answering Jay, but at least you didn’t have to come up with yet another stupid excuse.

Jay turned his attention to his friend and stood up straighter. “You know, making her get you lunch or hold your bag all day. There’s dozens of girls who’d be more than happy to do that for you, so why Y/N? She doesn’t have time for this stuff.”

You looked at Jay with surprise. Sure, you were friends, but you hadn’t thought he’d defend you like that in front of Sunghoon.

“Well, Y/N’s just such a nice, reliable person. No one better to ask to do those things.” What a reason, you thought. He turned to you and took the bag from your hands. “Thanks, Y/N. I’ll see you outside in a couple minutes.”

“Huh? What do you mean? I’m leaving,” you said, body already headed towards the other direction.

“What? You can’t leave before practice has even started. Go to the benches outside, we’ll be out in a few.”

You were about to open your mouth to protest, but he cut you off. “You don’t want to?” He started pulling out his phone. “That’s funny, because there’s a pict-”

“I’ll be on the benches! See you soon!” you quickly said, pushing the two boys inside the locker room, Sunghoon smirking, Jay looking at you in utter confusion.

Girls sat in a few different groups in the bleachers. You recognized the girls in one of those groups, so you decided to sit with them. As you approached, they quickly looked at each other and then back at you, expressions half-friendly, half-what-the-hell-are-you-doing-here. 

“Hi guys! Mind if I join?”

“Hi Y/N! No, of course not, come sit,” Jake’s girlfriend, Yujin, said. 

“Are you guys here to watch practice?”

“Yeah! I’m here on girlfriend duties for Jake. These two are just here for the eye candy and to keep me company,” Yujin explained.

“Yeah, but mostly for the eye candy,” added her friend Wonyoung. 

“What about you, Y/N? I’ve never seen you here,” asked the last girl, Gaeul.

“Oh, um, Sunghoon asked me to come, actually.” You regretted your words as soon as you’d let them out. They all ooh-ed at your response, making you blush, which just egged them on. This was nothing to blush about, Y/N. You’d just made the rumors get a hundred times worse with one sentence.

“The whole school’s been talking about you two, you know. Anything you wanna share? Don’t worry, we can keep a secret,” said Wonyoung with a wink. You chuckled awkwardly.

“Oh my gosh, yes, tell us!”

“Guys, don’t make her uncomfortable,” Yujin chimed in, smiling at you. You returned her smile, grateful, once again, that you didn’t have to explain your new link to Sunghoon. “Look, practice is starting.”

You turned your head towards the field as the soccer players started doing laps as per the coach’s instructions. Your eyes immediately drifted towards Sunghoon without you even realizing it. His lean figure hypnotized you. The last time you had had PE with him was in freshman year, and puberty had hit him like a fine, fine truck. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him as he lightly jogged next to his friends, chatting like it was nothing. You weren’t being very subtle with your stare and he eventually noticed you, sending a wink your way. This made you snap out of your reverie and you scowled at him, as if he could make out your annoyed expression from such a distance. You turned back to the girls, who were giggling at you.

“Wow, those were some serious heart eyes you were giving him, Y/N,” Gaeul giggled.

You opened your mouth in mild shock. “Was not!”

“Sure, whatever you say,” she replied knowingly. “Well, look all you want. Warm-up is the best part. It gets boring when they actually start playing.”

“No way! Watching them play is my favorite part,” Yujin disagreed.

“Yeah, that’s cause you’ve got someone to root for,” retorted Wonyoung. She looked at you slyly. “Well, I guess Y/N does, too.”

You scoffed. “Believe me, I will not be rooting for him.”

You started staring at him again, this time with a glare in your eyes. From their silence, you deduced the girls must’ve judged it a better idea to not question you too much. After the boys were done with running exercises and stretching (which you had enjoyed watching a bit too much, if you spoke truthfully), they started playing. The coach split the boys into two teams, Jay leading one and Sunghoon the other. It was a very close game. You could never tell who was leading, although that might have been due to your extensive lack of knowledge in the sport. All you knew was that you desperately wanted to see Sunghoon lose; that might put him down a peg. What you told yourself, however, was that you wanted Jay to win. So when he scored a goal, you surprised the girls next to you, the boys on the field and yourself as you jumped up and down, cheering for him. Realizing what you were doing, you quickly sat down and sent him an awkward thumbs up.

Jay tried to hide it, but he was blushing. Hard. Truth be told, he had noticed your little eye contact moment with Sunghoon during warm-up and hadn’t particularly enjoyed it. So seeing you cheer for him like that made him swell with pride, which only grew when Sunghoon scored and you barely reacted. 

When the game was over, you thought you might be able to finally go home and start studying. But Sunghoon had other plans for you, as always these past couple days. Heading towards the showers, he motioned for you to come down from the benches. As you did, Jay walked past, and you smiled at each other.

“Good game.”

“Thanks, Y/N.” He continued walking as Sunghoon reached you.

“What about me? I scored a goal, too.”

“Oh, did you? Didn’t even notice," you said, looking at your nails. The polish was starting to chip - you’d need to reapply a layer tonight.

“Whatever. Wait for me, yeah?”

“What? No! I gotta go home!” But your protests were in vain, as he completely ignored you. 

You waited outside the school with Yujin, Wonyoung and Gaeul. After a little while, Jake, Jay and Sunghoon joined you guys, having successfully showered and not smelling of sweat and dirt, thank God. Yujin was dropping her boyfriend and her friends off, so they bid their goodbyes and headed towards her car. Sunghoon and Jay also started to walk towards the parking lot, leaving you standing alone, not sure what to do. Sunghoon turned around and looked at you with a frown.

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t know, what are you doing?”

“I’m dropping you and Jay off.”

“Oh,” you mumbled, taken aback. “Didn’t know I was just supposed to guess that.”

As soon as Sunghoon started to drive, you noticed the awkward air between the three of you. Luckily, after years of being a people-pleaser, you had become somewhat of an expert in making small talk, which helped prevent a silent ride. You don’t think you could’ve gone through that without a mental breakdown.

Because you and Sunghoon lived closer to each other (and we all know the consequences of that), Jay was dropped off before you. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow at school,” he said before giving you a last glance.

“Bye, Jay.”

“See you, bro.”

Thankfully, you only lived a couple minutes by car from Jay’s and hoped the rest of the car ride would be peaceful. Which was really stupid of you to hope for, because you were in the car with Park Sunghoon.

“So, Park Jongseong, huh?” he said, eyes trained on the road in front of him. Even though he was trying to keep his tone light, you thought you detected a slight harshness to his gaze.

“What about him?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.”

“There’s nothing to say. We’ve just been friends for a long time.”

It was silent for about five seconds. “You really feasted your eyes during warm-up, huh?”

“Shut up, Park.”

“No, it’s alright, I get it. I’d do the same.” He laughed at his own joke that wasn’t really a joke. Why was he laughing, anyway? 

You looked at him. His face was so different from all those times you’d seen it at school. His eyes, rid of the harshness you’d seen earlier, crinkled at the edges and had an amused glint in them. His smile dug pretty dimples into his cheeks and you let your gaze linger long enough to notice he had sharp, vampire-like canines, which were surprisingly cute. You didn’t know why he was showing you a side of him he never showed anyone, except for his close friends, you assumed. You weren’t sure what overcame you, but you chuckled with him. 

“So, do you already know what task you’re gonna give me tomorrow?” you asked, genuinely curious.

“Hmm, haven’t really thought about it yet. I’d rather keep it a surprise, anyway. Keep you on your toes.”

“Pfft. What a great surprise.” He laughed again, and you couldn’t help but join him. He was unusually giddy that day, but you didn’t want to complain. This was a thousand times better than the arrogant Sunghoon with his I’m-better-than-all-of-you facade. What you didn’t know was that he, too, liked your snarky, no-nonsense side infinitely more than the model student, pretty girl persona you had created for yourself.

Finally at your house, you got out of the car and headed to your house after waving goodbye to Sunghoon. He rolled his window down and leaned out of it.

“Y/N?”

You turned around. “Yeah?”

“About your task tomorrow…”

“…Yeah?”

“I’m sure you’ll love it.” He gave you an umpteenth wink, rolled his window back up and drove off.

You weren’t so awful to your parents and siblings that evening.

—

The next day at school, you were wondering why Sunghoon had said you would love your task. Because you were, in fact, quite loathing it. He had found you studying during your free period after lunch and dragged you to the part of the library where it was okay to talk a bit over whisper level. You were currently going over a scene in The Tempest which you had seen in AP English Lit last year and clearly had no time for. But obviously, that wasn’t a problem to Sunghoon, who just wanted to get a passing grade on his English essay without putting in too much effort. 

After twenty minutes of going over the same five lines, you were about to give up. “Look, Sunghoon, I don’t mind helping you. I’ve tutored dozens of students before so I’m used to it. But you’re not making any effort! If you want to get it, you need to at least try.”

“But it’s so boring,” he whined, not unlike a child. “How am I supposed to find any meaning in this? It’s just stupid people doing stupid stuff on a stupid island.” You cringed at his words and hoped Shakespeare wasn’t listening in on this conversation. 

“It’s not stupid. It’s about power, and being punished for chasing it, and it’s a metaphor fo-”

“Ugh!” he groaned loudly. “You know what, I don’t care enough about this. Just write the essay for me, okay?” He got up and left, again not waiting for your answer. You wanted to protest, but you know what would happen if you said no to any of his requests, so you just quickly got to work.

Everyday over the next couple of weeks, Sunghoon would find something for you to do. Most days, he’d just get you to buy him lunch (although he thankfully had started paying you back) or carry his stuff around like the first two times. He didn’t ask you again to tutor him, however, so you had gotten used to sitting in an empty class together after class, you doing his homework for him and attempting (and failing) to explain it to him, and him alternating between playing on his phone and looking at you. Although it’d flustered you at first, not used to having someone stare at you while you were trying to concentrate, you’d grown somewhat okay with it - all of your complaints were ignored anyway. One time, he even got you to work on his science project with him, a weirdly-shaped volcano he needed to paint and decorate before actually putting the chemicals in. You’d be lying if you said it hadn’t been fun painting it together, occasionally ‘accidentally’ getting paint on the other’s hand or cheek instead of the volcano. 

You went to see him at practice two to three times a week, although you weren’t sure what use that had for him. If anything, you were probably the one who enjoyed yourself more. Perhaps, after being forced to spend so much time with him, you had started to soften up to him. And, perhaps, that made you appreciate his good looks even more. You couldn’t deny the effect his damp hair, stuck to his forehead with sweat, had on you. 

The rumors hadn’t died down, but people had started getting used to seeing the two of you together around, so they didn’t ogle their eyes at you everytime you and Sunghoon had some kind of interaction. Not liking that you couldn’t control people’s opinion of you anymore, you were still a bit bothered by them, but Sunghoon’s little posse of fangirls didn’t seem to be. They’d been the one to question you the most, and you got a few nasty looks in the hallway, but the gossip around school hadn’t stopped them from keeping on following him around, harassing him from morning to afternoon by going to his homeroom at breaks, sitting at a table near him at lunch, and going to see him at practice. Their group had dwindled down, though; most likely, some of them thought you two might be dating and had finally realized they didn’t stand a chance with the one and only Park Sunghoon. Thank God you had your friends and now sometimes Yujin, Wonyoung and Gaeul around you during those times, otherwise, you’d probably have been jumped. Spending so much time with him had kept you a couple times from your friends, which they’d complained about, but sensing that they couldn’t do much about it, they let you be, even though they hadn’t gotten a satisfactory explanation yet.

One person who didn’t want to, or rather couldn’t let it go, though, was Jay. He still couldn’t figure out why you’d started spending so much time with Sunghoon, seemingly overnight, and it created an unpleasant, sour pit in his stomach. Out of all the people you could’ve decided to form a new friendship with, why’d it have to be his best friend, meaning he saw you more often now than before, but not because he was the one you had come to see? Why did you never get him banana milk for lunch, and why’d you only start coming to soccer practice because Sunghoon had asked you to? He’d tried to ask both of you about it, but you always gave him half-assed excuses that didn’t make much sense. 

He realized what he was feeling was jealousy the day you came into their homeroom before the first bell rang and asked Sunghoon how his science project had gone. You’d never asked him how his science project, or any of his projects or tests, for that matter, had gone. He recognized it as the same feeling he had harbored when he had come back from the US in middle school and saw you dating Choi Soobin, or when Lee Heeseung had joined your tight-knit group of friends in freshman year. You and Soobin had only dated for three weeks and a half because you had a relationship-terminating argument over mint chocolate ice cream, and you and Heeseung had never become more than friends, nor had the intention to. But Jay didn’t care about that; all he saw was that there were boys around you that weren’t him. He had never acted upon those feelings, dismissing them as over-protectiveness for someone he had known since forever, but seeing Sunghoon and you laughing together hit too close to home. He couldn’t ignore how he felt because he was reminded of it everyday, but he didn’t know what to do with these newfound emotions.

And what’s the best thing to do whenever you don’t know what to do? Talk to your friends. Or well, in this case, your friend. He didn’t wanna talk about you to Sunghoon. He was a firm believer of bro code, but he didn’t wanna bottle up his feelings like he had all these years. So he went to Jake and told him everything, from your childhood friendship to Soobin, Heeseung and now Sunghoon.

“I know it’s stupid. It’s this whole cliché of, you only realize what you have when you lose it.”

“Well, you haven’t really lost Y/N, you know. It’s not like Sunghoon and her are dating.”

“I guess not, but he clearly likes her. It’d be a dick move to go after her now that they’ve got something going on.”

Jake hesitated for a second, debating whether he should say what he was thinking, but ultimately deciding it might be better to do it. “You know, I’m not sure that he does. You know what Sunghoon’s like. He’s never very honest about his intentions. I don’t wanna bring the subject up with him, cause I don’t wanna cause any drama, but it’s so suspicious to me that he’s suddenly spending time with Y/N when he’s never mentioned her all those years and when he rejects all these girls all the time.”

“I think it’s weird, too,” agreed Jay. “I just can’t seem to figure it out. And I’m a bit scared for Y/N, to be honest. Remember that girl in freshman year? They’d gotten along really well when he suddenly dropped her. I still remember his cold-ass stare when he turned her down. It even chilled me, man.”

“God, yeah, I always forget about that. He may be a jackass to all those girls, but when you know what he’s really like like we do, it seems so unlikely that he’d do something like that.”

Jay sighed and looked out into the distance. “I just hope he doesn’t hurt Y/N.”

Jake looked at his friend, thinking how to phrase his next sentence. “Like I said, I don’t wanna cause any drama… but, man, if you don’t want him to hurt Y/N, just don’t let him. If you make a move on her, you might get to her before he does. Better to do that now than to have to pick up the pieces, don’t you think?”

Jay mentally thanked the heavens for gifting him with a friend like Sim Jaeyun. “Yes, that is much, much better.”

He was going to stop sitting on his feelings and finally let them see the light.

—

But before that, Sunghoon had another one of his requests for you. You were sitting together in an empty classroom after school as you often did these past weeks. For you, today was an ordinary day, but the boy in front of you had something else in mind. He wasn’t saying anything but you could feel his nervousness and it was starting to make you feel anxious as well.

You lifted your head from your notes and looked at Sunghoon who seemed lost in his thoughts. “What is it, Sunghoon?”

This made him snap out of his reverie. “Um, nothing.”

“Well, seeing how you’ve been tapping your foot at the speed of lightning ever since we got here, it doesn’t seem like nothing.” You crossed your arms over the table and looked at him more intently, eyes asking him to tell you what was on his mind.

He sighed, giving in. “I was just thinking… there’s something I wanna tell you.”

“Go on. “

“I need you to date me.”

Your breath caught in your throat. Park Sunghoon… needed you… to date him? Was he asking you out? The way he’d worded it was a bit odd, but you didn’t put it past him.

Taking in your silence and wide eyes, he quickly added: “Not in that way! I, um, need you to be my fake girlfriend.”

Oh.

So he wasn’t asking you out. You weren’t sure why that made you so upset, but you tried to keep the disappointment out of your eyes and voice.

“Right,” you said, tone a bit harsher than you’d meant it to, “and why would I do that?”

Sunghoon smirked lightly. “Well, first of all, you don’t have much of a choice.” You rolled your eyes at that. It’d been a few days since the reason why you had started hanging out in the first place had come up, and you didn’t like to be reminded of that god-forsaken picture. 

“And second of all… I guess I should be completely honest with you.” This piqued your interest, and you leaned back on your chair to listen to him. 

“When I saw you at the store and took pictures of you, I wasn’t really thinking of doing anything. Maybe just get a laugh or two and tease you about it. I even told you outside the store that I didn’t know what I was gonna do. To be honest, I didn’t really think there was anything you could do for me that I’d need to force you to do. So I thought about it all night. And I asked myself, what’s the thing that pisses me off the most at school that you could change?” he looked at you expectantly, as if you could figure it out. You just shrugged.

“It’s those girls that keep following me around. All these years, I’ve acted like a giant asshole with them and still they think they have a crush on me or whatever. And I’ve never liked any of them, they’re all so superficial and ask me out without having ever talked to me before. So I thought, hey, maybe if I have a girlfriend, they’ll leave me alone. Which is why I made you do all those things for me.”

“So that they’d think we were dating?” you asked, trying to take all this information in. You’d sort of known it this entire time, but Sunghoon blatantly admitting he’d been using you hurt nonetheless.

“Yeah. But obviously, you always denied the rumors, so it hasn’t worked as well as I thought it would. It still did a bit though. So I think, if we take it the next step, and actually pretend we’re dating, it should really work. But I need your full cooperation on this, okay?” He looked at you, hopeful eyes and hands in prayer.

You sighed. As he said, it wasn’t like you had much of a choice.

“Please, Y/N? I really want them off my back.”

“Fine, Park, I’ll do it. But this better be the last thing you make me do.” You couldn’t help but sound cold. This made you rethink these past few weeks’ events. Were you the only one actually enjoying spending time together?

“Thanks, Y/N. And yeah, of course. You won’t have to carry my bag or get my lunch anymore if you want. Maybe it’ll be more believable if I do that for you.”

You had focused your attention back to your homework, wanting this conversation to be over as soon as possible.

“I’ll also pick you up in the morning, so you don’t need to take the bus.”

You hummed in response.

“Um, and I’ll also drop you off after school and after practice…” Sunghoon trailed, troubled by your silence. You hadn’t been so cold since the first couple times you two had talked, and he hated the idea that that might be because of what he had just said. So he took a chance.

“You know, Y/N, this doesn’t change anything. I wouldn’t have made you do all those things if I didn’t like spending time with you. You’re really nice to be around,” he admitted shyly.

You were far too flustered to lift your head and let him see your face. You just grinned and murmured, “Whatever, Park.”

—

Sunghoon kept his promise and picked you up in the morning. He called you at exactly 7:55 a.m., saying he was waiting outside and you rushed out of your house, piece of toast still in your mouth. In the car, you two went over what being in a fake relationship would involve.

“We just need to be seen around together, right?” you proposed, hoping your lack of experience wasn’t showing.

Thankfully, Sunghoon had no idea what being in a relationship, fake or not, entailed either. “Yeah, I think. And maybe…” he hesitated. 

“Maybe?” you prodded, hoping he wouldn’t (or actually would, but you’d never admit it) say what you thought he was about to say.

“I don’t know, like, hold hands, and… kiss.” The last part had barely been audible, but you’d still heard it.

“Kiss?” you echoed, voice almost a shriek. “I don’t think we need to go that far, Sunghoon.” A little voice in your head was saying that you’d really like to go that far but you made it shut up.

He was blushing profusely but didn’t want to drop the subject there. “At least on the cheek, or something. We do have to make it believable.”

And there it was. The little sentence, reminding you none of this was real. Seemed like that was a pattern in your life.

You looked out the window. Sunghoon glanced over at you, cursing himself for always saying the wrong thing. He was trying so hard to drown his blooming feelings for you that he kept on hurting you in the process. This whole fake-dating plan was the perfect excuse for him to spend more time with you without having to come to terms with his feelings. 

“C’mon, Y/N, it’ll be fun. Promise.” He nudged your arm playfully, making you look at him. His smile was contagious; you could never help yourself but start grinning when you saw his face light up like that. Maybe he’s right, you thought. Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.

When you arrived at school, Sunghoon told you to wait for a second. He got out of the car and quickly walked around to your side, opening the door for you. You hated how your heart fluttered at the sweet gesture, reminding yourself it was just for show. The important part was that it fooled everyone else, and it did - as you took Sunghoon’s hand, letting him help you out of the car, and walked with him hand in hand towards the school gates, you could feel all eyes on you. You could hear whispers of see, I told you they were dating! and defeated no ways. 

You realized you didn’t care about what anybody might be seeing, which was a first for you. You’d always made sure everybody saw you exactly the way you wanted to see them. As he was the most popular guy in school, dating Park Sunghoon at once helped your reputation and put you on many girls’ bad side. But holding his hand, you felt as though there was some kind of barrier protecting you. You’d never felt so exposed and so safe at the same time.

You noticed Jay standing next to the gates, looking particularly antsy. He’d texted you that morning, saying there was something he wanted to tell you. Usually, you’d have stayed up, overthinking what that could be, but what with today being the day you’d announce yourself to the world (your school) as Park Sunghoon’s (fake) girlfriend, you had had other things to worry about. You gestured at Sunghoon towards Jay. Your friend only saw you when you were calling his name, standing right in front of him.

“Oh, hi, Y/N! I-” 

He immediately cut himself off when he saw yours and Sunghoon’s interlaced fingers. Embarrassed, you took your hand out of your fake boyfriend’s, opting for holding onto his pinky instead, not realizing that it was a much cuter action that made one boy’s heart flutter and the other’s fill up with sadness.

“There was something you wanted to tell me?” you asked with a small smile.

“Uh- yeah, but it’s not important, actually. We can talk about it later.”

“Oh, you sure?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it.” He returned your smile, hoping to make the situation less awkward. It was very obvious he didn’t want to say whatever it was he needed to tell you in front of Sunghoon, which you had both understood.

Sunghoon spoke up. “Right, well I’ll see you in class, Jay. Y/N, I’ll walk you to yours.” And with that, he started walking, holding his friend’s gaze for a few steps. You turned back to look at Jay for a split second, trying to decipher what had just happened, but Sunghoon grabbed you by the waist, making you look up at him in surprise, and breaking Jay’s heart even further.

—

Once Sunghoon and you got to your class, you felt as though you were in one of those movies where the boy drops the girl off at her house after their first date. Except that this was in a crowded school hallway two minutes before the first bell rang. What you had in common with that girl from the movie, however, was that you were freaking out over what your boy was going to do next. In the car, you’d ended up agreeing to a kiss on the cheek, but you hadn’t realized it would be happening so soon.

As you two hovered around your classroom’s door, you looked at each other and giggled. Damn, you were selling this well. So well that if you could have ascended out of your body and looked at the scene as a third party, you’d probably have barfed all over yourself. 

You were still holding his pinky. You could tell he was too hesitant to do anything now that you had reached the classroom, and so you mustered all of your courage, stood on your tippy toes and softly pressed your lips to his cheeks. (You were pretty sure you’d heard gasps around you.) Your courage went as fast as it came, and as realization hit you, you quickly squeaked “bye, Sunghoon” and practically ran to your seat. The boy stood there for another second or two, hand going to his cheek where you had just kissed him. He walked happily to his own classroom, completely oblivious to the stares he was receiving.

Heeseung, Jiung and Sieun were looking at you in disbelief as you approached them. Sumin, on the other hand, looked like she had paid no attention whatsoever to the scene.

“Y/N,” Sieun teased in a sing-song voice. “Care to explain what just happened?”

“Don’t tell me you’ve actually managed to make the oh-so-great Park Sunghoon fall for you?” Jiung asked jokingly. 

You looked down in an attempt to hide your grin. You usually did that sort of stuff to appear humble when someone complimented you, but this time it was completely genuine. The mere thought of Sunghoon made you all giddy inside. “Um, yeah, he actually asked me to be his girlfriend last night.”

Your three friends gasped dramatically and Sieun pulled you into a hug, as if you’d just received an award of some kind. Heeseung and Jiung patted your shoulders, congratulating you.

“Sumin? Did you know about this?” Sieun enquired, turning to your friend.

“What? Oh, yeah, Y/N called me last night,” she answered, briefly looking at you before turning back to her phone. Sieun looked at you, surprised, not understanding Sumin’s reaction to what seemed like happy news.

You had indeed called Sumin the previous night, and the call had gone similarly to the way she was behaving this morning. Although you usually told her everything, this time, you didn’t want to share the fact that you and Sunghoon were only fake dating. You found yourself actually wanting it to be true - and you thought it’d be easier to believe it yourself if everyone, including your best friend, did too.

“Minie! I’ve got some news,” you’d said as soon as she picked out.

“Ooh! Hit me,” she’d replied with as much excitement in her voice as you.

“So…” you’d started, already giggling. “Sunghoon’s just asked me out. I haven’t told anyone else, I wanted you to be the first to know.”

There was silence on the other end of the line. After a while, you added, “Minie, you still there?”

“Huh? Yeah, um, that’s nice, Y/N, I’m happy for you,” she said, not sounding happy at all. There was no trace of excitement left in her voice.

“Yeah, thanks,” you replied, voice ten times smaller than a minute ago.

“I’m sorry Y/N, but I’ve got to go, my parents are calling me. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She hung up suddenly, giving you no time to say bye in return. You were completely confused. Was Sumin bothered by you and Sunghoon dating? Other than a reminder about his past behavior, she hadn’t said anything when you two were getting closer. So what was wrong? You’d hoped you’d find out the next day at school, but the way she was acting didn’t help at all.

You snapped out of your flashback when Heeseung nudged you, faking a pout. “Not fair! Why did she get to know before we did?”

You forced a smile and said you’d known you’d see them the next day and thought it was better to tell them in person, and that you had just wanted to rant to someone quickly. Your teacher came in as the bell rang and everyone went to their seat. During class, you tried getting her attention so you could ask her if she was okay but she kept her attention on the teacher the whole time. 

After that, as time went by, you kept up your charade of being the perfect student as usual, adding to that of being the perfect girlfriend to Sunghoon. Time with him passed by so quickly: you hadn’t realized you were more than halfway through the semester until you needed to wear a thicker jacket outside and the leaves had started falling, covering school grounds in shades of brown. The plan had worked: he was finally left alone by his admirers. Sumin had stopped being weird after a few days, saying she had had some problems with her parents but hadn’t gone into more detail. Everything was as great as it had ever been: good grades, good friends and a good boyfriend. Well, fake boyfriend, which you needed to remind yourself a bit too often, on the days Sunghoon didn’t do it himself. You felt a pinch in your heart every time he said something like, “there’s my fake girlfriend!” when it was just the two of you, or “great job today, Y/N” after dropping you off.

One day as you arrived home, Yeeun was waiting outside your house, trying to catch you red-handed. She dragged him inside by the arm and you panicked, not wanting him to see how you lived. But your messy room and invasive siblings didn’t scare him off at all; on the contrary, he smiled one of the biggest smiles you’d ever seen on him, canines and dimples on display. Your mom made him stay over for dinner and it was probably the happiest dinner you’d ever had. The idea of bringing someone home and having them see your habits and odd family dynamics had terrified you for the longest time, but you felt so comfortable around Sunghoon that it felt as if he was part of your home as soon as he’d stepped foot inside. You didn’t feel the need to hide anything from him.

After dinner, he helped your parents clear up the table and even washed the dishes, even though they kept insisting he didn’t have to do anything. He had completely won them over. They sat at the table and watched you two laugh together in the kitchen. They looked at each other, knowing they were thinking the exact same thing: their daughter hadn’t looked this happy in a while.

When you were done cleaning up, you two headed to your room under the pretense of needing to study. 

“Alright, but keep the door open!” your mom had yelled after you, making you groan and Sunghoon’s face turn crimson red.

You really had planned on studying - there was a big test coming up and you couldn’t afford to get a bad grade. When you got your physics textbook out, Sunghoon groaned in protest.

“What? You seriously want to study right now?”

You sighed. “I don’t necessarily want to, no, but I need to. And so do you, may I add.”

“We’re not even in the same physics class!”

“Yeah, but we both have Mr. Cho, so I know you’re gonna have a test as well.”

He rolled his eyes and dramatically flung himself on your bed. “Fine.”

When he didn’t move for a few minutes, you guessed what he had meant was that he’d let you study but wasn’t going to do it himself. But after ten minutes, he suddenly got up. “I’m bored to death, Y/N. The test isn’t in another week. Show me what you do for fun,” he said, on the verge of desperation. It had only been ten minutes, but you felt bad having him over and not entertaining him.

“Well, I do have a Switch…” Sunghoon’s eyes widened in awe. “I guess we can play Mario Kart.”

He almost squealed in joy at that. You just chuckled at him, not knowing he was such a fan of car video games. 

“I’m gonna crush you, Kim. Get ready,” he said, already looking victorious.

You smirked, not wanting him to get his hopes up. “Oh, it’s on, Park.”

As expected of a pro player like you (on non-schooldays, you could stay up all night playing this game), you won every single round. Sure, he gave you a run for your money, but you always came on top. He took it surprisingly well, congratulating you each time. After your fourth win in a row, you wiggled your face in front of his with a devilish smile, as you couldn’t help but torment him a little. But he wasn’t smiling. At first, you’d thought he was finally getting mad he kept on losing; but then the proximity between you two hit you. You noticed his eyes flicker momentarily to your lips and had backed off immediately.

“Um, if we go for another round, I’ll go easy on-”

He cut you off by putting his hand on your cheek, making you turn to look at him. You’d daydreamed about this moment before, but you hadn’t imagined your heart beating this fast or the butterflies eating away at your stomach. He was now fully staring at your lips, and you couldn’t look at anything else but his either. Too scared to move an inch, you felt him get closer and closer, so close that his lips were almost on-

“Y/N, mom says it’s late and Sunghoon needs to- AH!”

Sunoo had walked in, eyes riveted on his phone until he looked up and saw you and Sunghoon suspiciously close to each other. Sunghoon practically leaped off of your bed in surprise and you flung a pillow over your face, not believing you had almost kissed Park Sunghoon but that your stupid little brother had ruined everything.

“Sorry! I’m sorry!” the culprit squeaked before running away. You and Sunghoon looked at each other. It was awkward for two seconds, then you both erupted in laughter. 

“Alright, guess I should get going then. Um, thank you so much for tonight. I haven’t had a family dinner in a while, and… Well, it was really nice,” he admitted shyly after you’d calmed down.

“Of course, Sunghoon. I’m sure my parents would love to have you over any time.”

You walked him to your front door, where you exchanged goodbyes and I’ll see you tomorrows. You watched him take a few steps, then turn back and jog towards you. He stood in front of you for a second, then leaned down and placed a kiss on your forehead.

“Bye, Y/N.”

You were too stunned to say it back.

—

After the almost-kiss, it felt as though something had changed between you and Sunghoon. The event had somewhat revealed your feelings: you both knew you wanted to kiss each other. But since those feelings hadn’t been acted upon, the transition from fake-dating to real dating couldn’t happen as smoothly. Well, it could, if you two stopped acting like idiots and told each other how you felt. But the author wanted to get a couple more thousand words in, so it had to wait.

You’d gotten used to Sunghoon’s little requests at school, but you definitely hadn’t anticipated a phone call at past 11pm on a Wednesday night. 

“Sunghoon? Why are you calling me so late?” you asked, groggy voice because of sleep. Since you woke up so early to get ready in the morning, you always went to bed around 9:30 to 10 p.m. Sunghoon was making you lose precious minutes of slumber.

“Late? It’s barely midnight, Y/N.” You groaned. “Whatever, put on some clothes and come outside! I’m waiting for you.”

“You’re what?” you whisper-screamed, suddenly feeling very awake.

“I’m waiting for you! Hurry up!” 

As always, he hung up without waiting for your reply. You couldn’t really turn him down anyway; although you were somewhat obligated, you had stopped seeing it that way and started doing things for him out of your own volition. 

Not wanting to get out of your pajamas, you just threw on a warm sweater, a scarf, some socks, and headed down the hallway on your tiptoes. Your parents weren’t the strictest out there, but you still didn’t wanna get caught sneaking out, and with a boy, at that. After putting on your shoes, you left your house, closing the door behind you as quietly as you could.

The late October night was a bit chilly, but you had wrapped up warm enough. Sunghoon was indeed waiting for you outside, wearing a denim jacket over his gray sweatshirt and matching sweatpants. 

God, he looked good.

“Finally! Took you long enough.”

“Quit it, Sunghoon. Just tell me why you wanted to see me.”

“There’s a place I wanna show you. Come on,” he said, taking you by the hand. You felt tingles in your palm and fingers wherever his hand touched yours. How could something feel so natural yet make your heart race so at the same time?

“Are we walking there?” you asked.

“Yep, it’s not too far. We’ll be there in five minutes.”

Those five minutes felt like five seconds walking with Sunghoon. You chatted and joked around the whole way, not letting go of each other’s hand. You hadn’t even noticed you had reached your destination until he stopped walking.

“Here we are,” he said, facing the building, which made you turn in the direction he was looking.

“The ice rink? What are we doing here?” you asked, confused. It was 11:30 pm; surely, the rink would be closed.

“You’ll see!” he said, heading towards the entrance. To your surprise, he pulled out a key from his pockets and opened the doors.

“What? Sunghoon! How do you have a key to the ice rink?”

“I’m chummy with the janitor. I just need to let him know when I’ll be coming and he doesn’t tell anyone,” he replied, an easy smile on his face, as if this was the most normal thing in the world. He led you first to the shoe rack, helping you find skates your size, and then to the benches next to the rink’s entrance. He knelt in front of you and helped you put on your shoes, doing the laces for you. 

He looked up at you, a glint in his eyes. “I’ve never taken anyone here, Y/N. I know your secret, so I thought I’d show you mine.”

You didn’t know what to say, surprised at the sudden confession, so you just looked at him curiously as he took ice skates from his backpack and laced them up.

He stood up, turned to you and said, “Ready?”

You followed him to the doors leading to the ice. He stepped inside without a trace of hesitation, but you were much more doubtful about your ability to stand on the ice without falling instantly. He turned around and saw you looking helpless. He took your hand in his, helping you step onto the rink. 

“Don’t worry, Y/N. As long as I’ve got you, you won’t fall.”

“Don’t let go of my hand, then,” you said pointedly.

Too focused on not slipping, you didn’t see his smile. “I wasn’t planning to.”

He helped you get your footing, skating backwards in front of you and holding both of your hands. After a few minutes on the ice, you got brave enough to skate on your own, and you miraculously managed to stay on your feet. However, after a while, your bravery turned to hubris, and you dared attempt a spin, resulting in you miserably falling on the ice, butt first. Sunghoon was worried for a second until he saw you laughing uncontrollably. You looked at him, wide-eyed, and said, “This is so much fun, Hoon.” You were so exhilarated that you hadn’t noticed the nickname slipping from your lips but the boy’s cheeks and ears turned redder than the bruise you had surely just earned yourself. Thankfully, if you commented on it, he could just blame it on the cold. 

He helped you up, and you skated on as if nothing had happened. This went on for another thirty minutes, you skating hand in hand and occasionally falling together (but most of the time, just you falling on your own). Sunghoon had been so nervous before bringing you here; he was scared you’d think his hobby was unmanly or lame, as he’d been made to feel. But seeing you have the time of your life, all his worries dissipated. This place was like a second home to him, and bringing someone into your home was always nerve-wracking, but he thought you fit perfectly in it. 

When you told him you were getting tired and wanted to sit for a while, you skated back together to the benches and he gave you some water from his bag. You sat in silence for a while, waiting for your breathing to come back to a normal pace. 

You broke the silence first. “So, why’d you take me here? Not that I’m complaining.”

He hesitated a second before speaking. "I used to come here all the time as a kid.” He didn’t look at you when he answered, keeping his gaze on his hands. “My mom would take me. She left us for another man the summer before middle school started. She left me alone with my asshole father.”

You let out a small gasp, not expecting such a confession. You placed your hand on his back for comfort and said, “I’m sorry, Sunghoon.”

He quickly glanced at you, a half-smile on his face. “Don’t be. Anyways, he had to somewhat start taking care of me now that my mom wasn’t there to do it.” He chuckled darkly. “I guess his idea of taking care of his son was forbidding him from doing the one thing he loved. He thought it was a stupid sport for a boy. He stopped all of my lessons and made me sign up for soccer, even though I hadn’t ever said I wanted to do that. I still came here from time to time, but I didn’t wanna risk getting caught. God knows what he’d have done if he saw me here.”

You weren’t sure what to say. You felt as if no words would be enough to express how his story made you feel. “I- it’s awful, what he did to you. No parent should ever make their child feel as though their passion isn’t worth it. If it’s any comfort, even though you were mostly helping me, I thought you looked ten times better on that rink than scoring any goal. And that’s saying something.”

He finally looked at you and grinned. “Thanks, Y/N.” He seemed to be thinking for a few seconds, and then continued: “I’ve had a lot of time to think about it, and I think that’s why it’s hard for me to open up to people and make lots of friends. I only trust Jake because I’ve known him forever and I can’t really get rid of him now,” he said with a chuckle, “and Jay, well, Jake took to him instantly in middle school so I guess I didn’t have a choice there either, and he’s not so bad anyway. The more people I let in, the more likely I am to get hurt. It’s much easier pretending I don’t wanna have anything to do with anyone than try. 

“I guess it’s also why I talked to you on that day. Sure, I ended up thinking you could help me with all those girls. But at first, when I saw someone like you, who looks like they have it all together, who’s actually the opposite in real life - no offense - it reminded me of myself. And I thought, maybe she’d understand. Which is why it was so easy to be myself around you.”

You took his hand in yours and pressed it slightly. “I’m glad you were.” You didn’t feel the need to say anything else, hoping it was enough.

“Now, your turn. What made you the person you are today?” he asked with a grin, trying to approach lightheartedly this heavy subject, which you appreciated.

“It’s all about making people think you’re someone else, isn’t it? Because, depending on who you are, they’ll treat you differently. I found that out as a kid, because I, too, have a tragic childhood backstory.” He gasped jokingly.

“It’s not as bad as yours, so sorry about that. Back in primary school, I already had this… attitude that I have today. I had quite the ego, and I didn’t want anyone doing better than me at school. I didn’t care about how I looked, if I was the prettiest girl in class or had the cutest shoes. I was the smarty-pants of the class, basically, and a lot of the kids teased me for that. But I also didn’t let myself get trampled over, and fought back, quite aggressively at that, so I was somehow the nerd and the troublemaker at the same time. I didn’t have the best reputation, but I did have a friend. Jay. Or Jongseong, at the time, before he got too cool for his real name,” you joked. “The thing is, I didn’t see him as a friend. Sure, I was only eight or nine, but I really liked him. And the day I was planning on confessing, I saw him hold hands with the prettiest girl in our class. So I never told him, and then he left for the US a few months later.

“During the time he was gone, I had a complete makeover and actually started caring about my appearance, especially when middle school started. So now I had academic validation from teachers, which I had craved since forever, and both female and male validation from all the girls telling me how pretty I was and all the guys liking me. The people who were in my primary school and went to the same middle school told them how I used to be, but nobody believed them, and if they did, they didn’t care, so everybody just gradually forgot about it. And I just got addicted to the validation, which is why I always studied harder and tried to be prettier, even when it turned into a complete lie. I thought that if I could make everyone believe I was perfect, then it didn’t matter what I was like in real life, so at home, I just let myself completely go. And even now that I’m aware of all of this, I still can’t stop.”

Sunghoon looked at you like you had just slapped him. “So, you used to have a crush on Jay?”

You looked at him in exasperation. “Seriously, Hoon? That’s what you get from everything I just told you?”

He smiled shyly. “Sorry. Thank you for telling me.” You sat there in comfortable silence for another few minutes, still hand in hand. Then, Sunghoon got up, grin on his face.

“Wanna see something cool?” You nodded at him, returning his grin. He headed back inside the rink.

You thought he was gonna show off by doing some fancy trick. But he started gliding on the ice, and you couldn’t believe what you were seeing. He took long strides that looked as natural to him as walking. He spinned one, two, three times, and continued skating as though it was nothing. You were completely mesmerized. You already thought he was out-of-this-world beautiful, but his beauty was brought to another level when he skated. His elegant moves rendered you breathless. When he skated back towards you, you were looking at him with only awe and admiration in your eyes. 

After what he’d told you and what he’d just shown you, you couldn't help but get a little emotional. You engulfed him in a hug as soon as he’d stepped out of the rink, your arms around his neck and his naturally coming to your waist. Your hands came up to his cheeks as you leaned back to properly look at him.

“That was- wow. That was amazing, Sunghoon. Thank you for showing me.” You could see the gratefulness in his eyes. There was something else there, and whatever it was, you knew you were looking back at him with as much of it. It was only you two in the building, but it might as well have been the two of you in the whole world. 

All too similarly as in your room, his gaze went from your eyes to your lips, and you couldn’t help but mirror that. This was the perfect moment. You inched your face closer, letting him close the gap between you. Your lips touched and it was as if everything fell into place. The kiss was shy at first, neither of you sure what to do, your mouths moving at a slow but steady pace. But as your hands traveled from his cheeks, to his jaw and down to his neck, and you felt him sigh in the kiss, something unclicked in you, making you want more. You deepened the kiss, and he returned it with just as much force. Your right hand came to grab at the nape of his hair and his hands gripped your waist tighter. After minutes or hours, you broke the kiss in need of some air. Your eyes met again and you smiled at him, relieved it had finally happened. 

You thought he’d have a similar reaction, but he suddenly looked panicked. Realization hit him like a truck. He liked you. Far too much. And even if the kiss and these past weeks told him you might like him back, it scared him. He’d unlocked his heart for you but couldn’t let you keep the key. Otherwise, he’d let you open it more and more and more until there he was completely bare in front of you, and you decided you didn’t like what you’d found and left him. Just like his mom did. Just like everyone eventually does. Just like his dad never even tried.

He took a step back. His panic was rubbing off on you. You called out his name, but he quickly got his bag and said, “Sorry, Y/N, I have to go. I’ll um- I’ll see you.” He took a few steps, turned around, and said, “I think you should take the bus tomorrow morning. Sorry.”

He started walking away. A few steps before he’d be out of your view, he turned back around. He hated the look on your face, how sad, confused and helpless it was all at once. Above all, he hated that he was the reason behind it. But he told himself it was better to leave you now than be left in a few months when you got bored of him, and started walking again without another word.

—

You walked home alone. It was a dark November night, and you were shivering from the cold and from sadness. Try as hard as you might, you couldn’t figure out why Sunghoon had reacted like that. The past month had gone so well, you were only getting closer and more comfortable with each other. The only logical conclusion you could come to was that kissing you had made him realize he didn’t like you. Thankfully, you didn’t live too far from the ice rink and you got home in five minutes. Lost in your thoughts, you couldn’t even be bothered to be quiet closing the front door and walking to your room, and you woke Sunoo up.

At first, he looked like he was about to scold you for making so much noise; but upon seeing your disheveled state, he started worrying. 

“Y/N? What’s wrong, why are you only coming home now? Where were you?”

You couldn’t hold it in any longer. You fell in your brother’s arms and started crying your heart out.

He held you for a little while, but not wanting to wake the others up by staying in the hallway, he said, “Come on, let’s get you in your room. You’re freezing.”

He left for a few minutes and came back with two cups of tea in his hands. He joined you on your bed. You had calmed down a bit and took a sip of the tea, already feeling warmer.

“So, tell me everything.”

And you did. Not just about what had happened at the ice rink, but everything before that: how yours and Sunghoon’s relationship was fake, which you hadn’t even told your siblings, but that it hadn’t kept you from falling for him, and how you really thought he felt the same way. When you got to the part where you told each other about your stories, Sunoo grabbed your arm in surprise, and said, “I can’t believe you told someone about that. Good for you, big sis.”

You sat in silence after a few minutes when you’d finished telling him everything, you, still reflecting on your evening, and him, trying to think of something good to say. He took a deep breath, and started: “You know, this might be completely useless, but I feel like there’s no point trying to figure out why he did that. We’re not mind readers, and assuming things will just go wrong. I think the best thing to do is just ask him tomorrow, or whenever you’re ready to face him, really.”

You looked at your brother fondly. “How can you be so stupid sometimes, yet so wise right now?”

Sunoo and you talked for another minute, but when you yawned for a good seven straight seconds, you both agreed it was time for bed. Before you fell asleep, you told yourself that tomorrow morning, you’d find Sunghoon and make him be clear with you. You at least deserved that.

—

Heeseung and Sumin were clearly surprised to see you the next morning in the bus, but you told them you didn’t want to talk about it and they didn’t push, although it very obviously had something to do with Sunghoon. As you rode the bus and psyched yourself for your conversation with him, you had no idea he was currently in the midst of a heated argument with Jay. The latter pushed him with force, making Sunghoon’s back hit the classroom wall behind him.

“What the fuck did you just say about Y/N?” Jay asked, venom in his voice and fury in his eyes.

Despite the pain, Sunghoon smirked, wanting to rile up his friend even more. “I said, Y/N’s just as stupid as all the other girls. She probably thinks she’s so much better than everybody, but in the end it was so easy making her fall for me. It was almost boring, really, how easy she was.”

Jay pushed him again. “Don’t fucking talk about her like that.”

“Aw, little Jay is getting upset over his little Y/N? You sad that the girl you like actually likes an asshole like me?”

Jay hadn’t had many reasons to get angry in his life. This was making him discover another side of himself; he didn’t know he could get this angry. He didn’t know rage could fill up his veins like that and make him want to destroy absolutely everything around him, but above all, the person in front of him who’d he considered a friend all these years. On the verge of losing control, he reared up his fist, before Sunghoon said:

“You know what’s even sadder? She used to like you, too.”

His arm dropped. “What?”

“Yeah, in primary school. Didn’t you think it was weird how different she was before and after you left? Her little heartbreak made her change everything about herself just so that people would like her. And now all she can do is lie to everyone. I pity her, really. And to think that she thought I liked her. What an idiot.”

That was the last straw. Jay punched Sunghoon square in the nose, making him stumble back a few steps until he hit the wall again. He held onto his bloody, and possibly broken, nose and looked Jay straight in the eyes, still smirking. Thinking his job was done (but not sure what the job was in the first place), he walked away, heading to the nurses’ station. The scene had gathered quite an audience outside. It was less than ten minutes to the first bell, so already quite a few students were there, but no one had dared to venture inside. Jake, arriving too late to prevent any damage, looked wide-eyed back and forth between Sunghoon walking out and Jay standing inside, fists clenched by his side and panting from anger.

Sunghoon barely spared him or anyone a glance as he left the room. What he did notice though, were a crumpled tuna-mayo sandwich and a banana milk on the floor, looking as though someone had dropped them.

What had he done?

—

You had already run back to your friends and were currently crying for the second time in twelve hours in Sumin’s arms. It was the first time ever you cried at school, and probably also in front of your friends, spare Sumin, so it was a curious sight to most; she took you to another room for privacy. 

There, you practically told her everything you had told Sunoo the night before, including the fake dating.

“Wait… so, you and Sunghoon weren’t actually dating?”

You nodded, embarrassed by your lie.

“I- Why didn’t you tell me, Y/N? How could you fool everyone like that?”

You looked up in surprise at your friend’s harsh words. You probably deserved them, but you weren’t used to hearing her speak in such a way, nor to the cold stare she was peering down at you with. 

“I don’t know… I’m really sorry…” you mumbled, ashamed.

She scoffed. “You should be. I just- I just don’t understand how you can already be living such a lie, and still add onto it. It makes me wonder how I’m still friends with you.” The bell rang right at that moment, and she got up, saying, “Let’s go to class. You wouldn’t wanna be late.”

You followed her, but you felt sick to your stomach. Usually, you could always hide your discomfort or sadness, no matter how bad your period cramps were or how serious an argument with your parents had gotten. But this time, it was too much, and fifteen minutes into the class, you asked the teacher to go to the nurse. Not used to you needing to leave class and trusting that it was for a legitimate reason, your teacher let you off and you quickly packed your bag and left. 

When you got to the nurse, you sat down in front of her and said you weren’t feeling well and wanted to go home. For the same reasons as your teacher, she said she’d let you but needed to ask you a few questions before about your general well-being. You answered them quickly, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible and just go home. 

When you finally were able to leave, you only took a few steps out of the nurse’s office before someone grabbed your wrist, making you turn around. Sunghoon, who was resting in the room next door, had heard your voice and gotten up as soon as he’d heard you leave. His nose was covered in bandages and his eye had started swelling and turning blue, and you mentally thanked Jay. You ripped your arm out of his grip and continued to walk away without a word. You were too tired to argue.

“Y/N, please, hear me out.”

This made you stop in your tracks, but you didn’t turn around. “Hear you out? I’ve already heard enough, Sunghoon. No need to explain, you made it very clear what you think of me.”

You started walking again but he doubled you and blocked your path in the narrow hallway. 

“Y/N, I’m sorry, if you’d just give me a minute-”

“I don’t care that you’re sorry, Sunghoon! Sorry doesn’t cut it. I trusted you. Actually trusted you. You out of all people should know how hard it is to do that. Or was that a lie too?” Seeing him in front of you, your sadness retreated to the back of your heart and you were left with only anger. 

“It wasn’t, I prom-”

“That doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.” You pushed past him and walked on. And this time, he let you go, even though the only thing you wanted him to do was make you stay. You so desperately wanted to hear him out and forgive him, but you knew you couldn’t do that. You had too much dignity, and it would only end up hurting you even further. 

So you didn’t shed a tear the whole way home. When you finally got to your bed, you didn’t have the energy to start crying. You fell asleep, tears quietly rolling down your face. 

—

You slept the whole day, waking up to a soft knock on your bedroom door. It was your mom, telling you Jay was here to see you. Everyone had been surprised to see you already at home when they came back from work or school, but they knew better than to wake you up.

“I’m surprised, you know. He’s gotten so handsome.”

You rolled your eyes at her. “Just tell him that I’m not feeling well and he should go home, please.”

“Oh, I’ve already tried to, honey. The boy is adamant on seeing you.”

You sighed. “Fine. Can you bring him here, then?”

A few seconds later, you heard another knock, and Jay opened the door just enough to peek his head through, asking if he could come in.

“Well, you’re already here, so might as well.”

You sat up and gestured for him to sit down on your bed.

He looked around, taking in the messiness of his surroundings. “You know, I thought your room would be much more… organized.”

“Didn’t Sunghoon tell you? I’m a big, fat liar who hides the truth from everyone,” you said sarcastically.

“About that… did you hear everything he said?” You hummed in response. “I’m so sorry you had to hear that, Y/N. I don’t know what happened to him. He’d never said anything like that about you, and then, all of a sudden… What an asshole. I can’t believe he was my friend.”

“Was? You shouldn’t end your friendship over me, Jay.”

“Are you kidding me? I can’t be friends with a guy who talks about anyone like that, let alone you.” After a few minutes of silence, he asked, “Did um- did anything happen, for him to say those things?”

You sighed deeply. “I’ve already told this story twice in the past few days, so I’ll give you the short version, but basically, we were fake dating, and I started really liking him, and I thought he did too, until we kissed, and he left me completely stranded, and then the next day I hear him say all those things.”

Silence again. You suddenly remembered something Sunghoon had said that you had completely put to the side: Jay likes you. At least, according to Sunghoon. You didn’t know if it was true, but judging by his disappointed face, it looked like it. Seemed like all of your friendships were going to hell.

“Oh,” he simply said.

“Yeah…” you murmured back. 

“Well,” he turned to you, “that just confirms to me that he’s an asshole. Cause no guy in his right mind would turn you down, Y/N. I know I wouldn’t.”

He looked straight at you as he said that. Yep. Jay liked you. It was a nice feeling, but it was also about ten years too late. 

“Do you- do you know what I’m trying to say, Y/N?” he asked, gulping.

You hesitated for a second before saying, ”I think I do, Jay. I have to say, your timing isn’t great.”

He chuckled a bit lifelessly. “Yeah, I guess right now isn’t the best time to say this.”

“I also meant, you know what Sunghoon said, earlier? That I liked you before you left for the US? That was true.”

He looked at you, mouth agape. “Oh, was it…” His head hung down in defeat. “I can’t believe I’ve been such an idiot. I feel like it’s my fault that Sunghoon hurt you like this. If only I’d been just a bit earlier…”

“None of this is your fault, Jay. Please don’t think that. It’s mine for thinking Sunghoon could actually like me back.”

Jay took a deep breath. “God, as much as it hurts me to say, Y/N, I think he did. Or does, actually.” You furrowed your brows at him. “Sunghoon, he has this thing where he goes into retreat mode as soon as he gets too close, too personal. It’s a stupid defense mechanism, and when he realizes he’s let you in a bit too far, he snaps everything closed and hurts you before you can hurt him. At least, that’s how he sees it, I guess. He’s done it to Jake and me a couple times, and it takes some getting used to, but he stops after a while. When he knows for sure that you won’t hurt him.”

You didn’t know what to do with this information, so you just stayed quiet, which Jay took as a sign to go on.

“I’m not saying forgive him. Believe me, if I could smack him into space and never let him see you again, I would. But I think maybe, just maybe, and you don’t have to if you don’t want to, hear him out.”

You smiled at him. “You’re a good friend, Jay. And I don’t mean just to me but to Sunghoon as well. I hope you know that.”

Jay tried to ignore the pinch in his heart at the word ‘friend’ and smiled back.

“Oh, there’s another thing I needed to show you.” His tone was suddenly much more apprehensive, and he looked both sorry and scared to say whatever he was about to say.

He pulled out his phone and searched the thing in question. Before showing you anything, he warned, “Nobody knows who did this. It was sent out to the whole school on a library computer-”

Expecting the worst, you snatched Jay’s phone from his hands. And there they were. Pictures of you from your primary school years, recent pictures of you in your comfortable clothes, at home or in close proximity to your house. Sent out to the whole school, as Jay had said. You were horror-struck. You could feel all the years you had spent perfecting your image and maintaining it crumbling around you as though they were paper. Charismatic smiles and trendy accessories had been your brick and mortar, but a sledgehammer had hit them, destroying your foundations further with each swing.

And that sledgehammer had a name: Bae Sumin. You’d figured it out in an instant. You’d been friends your whole life, she was the only one apart from your family to know about your true face; only she would have access to such photos. You knew it wasn’t Sunghoon because the pictures he had taken that day weren’t there.

If what had happened with Sunghoon had made a crack in your heart, then this had shattered it into a million pieces. The person who you’d trusted the most, who you’d thought would never do anything to hurt you, had done the worst thing anybody could do to you.

“Y/N- are you okay?” Jay asked tentatively. You had forgotten he was there.

“Um, yeah, yeah- I think I just need to be alone for now, if that’s okay.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind staying a while.”

“Sorry, Jay, but I’m sure.”

He looked at you for a few seconds. He’d never felt more distance between you two, not even when you had been oceans apart. “Alright. Call me if you need anything. I mean it.”

You smiled a tiny, tiny smile in response and he left your room. On his way out, your mom hugged him, saying it was nice to see him again and that he was welcome anytime, and he thanked her.

As he walked home, he couldn’t help but bitterly laugh to himself. Even when he confessed, he hadn’t been able to say the words he’d wanted to tell you this whole time: I love you.

—

You didn’t go to school for the rest of the week, the only stain on your perfect attendance record. All of your friends had tried to reach you, asking if you were okay, and you replied in a few small messages, telling them you’d be back when you could. Other people had contacted you, asking if those pictures were real. You obsessed over your school’s gossip Instagram account: the past few days, all the posts had been dedicated to your pictures and Sunghoon’s and Jay’s fight. You had ten missed calls from Sunghoon and seventeen from Sumin. You ignored each and everyone of them, only giving Jay, Heeseung, Sieun and Jiung the time of day. 

On Sunday morning you woke up, already dreading going to school the next day. You could already picture the nasty stares and whispers you’d get in the hallways. You thought about facing Sumin and Sunghoon again, and you thought the worst thing possible would be to have to do it at school. So you decided to wait until they called you again, as you knew they would, and finally picked up their call.

Sumin contacted you first, at eleven in the morning. You agreed to have her come over to your house to talk. When she appeared at your front door, you realized you weren’t sad, angry, or disappointed; you were just confused. You didn’t understand why she’d done it. Looking at her face, you couldn’t imagine her sitting down at that computer and sending out those pictures, writing the comment This is what Kim Y/N is like in real life.

You let her in and walked to your room, your siblings’ eyes burning holes into her soul the whole time. You sat down on your bed, sighed, and said, “Go ahead.”

“Thank you for letting me come here and explain myself. I don’t know what took over me, Y/N. Well actually, I guess I do. Jealousy, as stupid as it sounds.” She chuckled at herself. “I’ve always tried to hide it, but I’ve always been a bit jealous of you, Y/N. You’re the prettiest girl, the smartest, the nicest, and I’m just the best friend. That’s all anyone knows me as. Everybody loves you, yet I know it’s all a facade. And I’m not saying that to be mean, because I know you’re an amazing person even without all the glamor. And when I saw you with Sunghoon, I mean, you saw how I was. I didn't fight with my parents. I was so, so jealous. You hadn’t shown interest in any guy since Choi Soobin and all of a sudden you were dating Park freaking Sunghoon, and he knew about your quote-on-quote ‘real’ face, so I couldn’t even comfort myself that he didn’t know who you really were.”

“Wait- why would you be jealous of Sunghoon and me?”

She took a deep breath. “You remember, freshman year, when I confessed to him and he turned me down?”

“Yeah, but I thought that was in the past.”

“Do you also remember that guy I told you about later on, who I’d gotten really close with but completely shut me off when I thought we were about to start dating?”

Something clicked, but you didn’t want to face it. “Yeah…”

“Well, surprise surprise, they were the same person. Ha. I got mad at you for lying to me, but I did the same thing.”

“Sumin… Why did you never tell me?”

“I’m not sure. When we were in that talking stage, I could’ve bragged about it to anyone, you know, that Park Sunghoon was actually being nice to me, but I didn’t. I wanted to keep him my little secret. And then I confessed, and we all know how that ended.” A beat passes as she takes a deep breath, shaking the bad memory away. “I am over it, it was more than three years ago. Maybe there was a nice part of me that thought he had changed, because you seemed happy with him, and I didn’t want to ruin that. But maybe there was another part that hoped he might hurt you like he did me. And that’s such a shitty thing to do, I know. I should’ve told you when I saw you get involved with him. I can’t believe after all these years, he did the exact same thing to you that he did to me. What an asshole.”

You were staring at the wall in front of you, feeling empty. Why did everything have to happen at the same time? You were just drained of any willpower.

“This doesn’t explain the pictures,” you said plainly.

“Right. When you told me you were fake dating, I guess something snapped in me. I couldn’t believe it was another lie, I thought we had gone past the stage where you hid things from me. So that, plus jealousy, I just went a bit crazy, I think. I really wasn’t thinking, Y/N, and I promise you with all my heart that if I could go back and undo everything, I would. I’m so, so, so sorry. I regretted it as soon as I hit post.”

You looked at your friend and knew she was telling the truth. You believed her, and yet you couldn’t quite look past it.

“I know you are, Minie. It’s just… what am I gonna do now at school? Everybody must hate me.”

“I won’t lie, some people haven’t been saying the nicest things, especially Park’s fangirls. But God, Y/N, and please don’t take this the wrong way, but who cares? They’ll talk about it for a week, two at most. Your life at school won’t be the same, but you’ll still have all of us. I’ve talked to Heeseung, Sieun and Jiung, and they’re not the tiniest bit mad at you. They’re just worried to death. A bit confused too, but mostly worried. And you know what? Even Yujin, Wonyoung and Gaeul, who I’ve literally never talked to before, came to ask me how you were. Jay and Sunghoon are barely on talking terms but they always team up when it comes to practically verbally assaulting anyone they overhear talking behind your back. Jake has to hold them back sometimes but he always glares at those people too. You don’t wanna see Jake Sim glare, I promise you. It’s so scary,” she says in a confessional tone, visibly shuddering just at the thought of angel-faced Jake looking angry, and you can’t help the small chuckle that escapes your lips.

Her face softens as she places a warm palm over your hand. “We all love you and care for you so much, so screw literally every single other person in that school. They don’t matter.”

There was something refreshing about Sumin’s words. The idea that you could live your life without worrying about other people had always been in the back of your head, but you always told yourself you were in too deep to go back. Now that you had been forced to, you understood why you felt so empty: the immense weight of having to keep up a persona, had been lifted off your shoulders. You would only have to carry yourself, and not a second person, which made you feel weightless. You’d just have to get used to it and come to enjoy that feeling.

You took your friend’s hands in yours. “I want to forgive you, I promise I do. And I will. I just don’t know if I can do that right away. I’ll need some getting used to this new life.”

“I completely understand, Y/N.”

“But that doesn’t mean I don’t want you around anymore. And you know what, I’m sure one day I’ll look back at this moment and thank you.”

—

Sumin left a few hours later and you were now waiting for Sunghoon to call you. You waited and waited, until your phone rang with a small ding: he wasn’t calling you, but had sent you a message. A very, very long message. You were very tempted to reply with a I ain’t reading all that. I’m happy for u tho. Or sorry that happened, but you thought it might not be the appropriate moment. 

You opened the message, which had come after thirty unread texts, and started reading, slightly appalled by the lack of paragraphing.

Dear Y/N, 

Is this how you start a long text? I would much rather be telling you this than writing it, but someone hasn’t been picking up my calls. Sorry. I probably shouldn’t be giving you much attitude right now. Where do I even start? The ice rink, I guess. Asshole move #1, obviously. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you like that. That kiss was really really good and I really really liked it. Because I really really like you. And I think I’ve known that for a while now, but the kiss confirmed it. And I was happy for a second, but then I panicked. There’s no other word for it, I panicked. I’ve never liked someone this much before and I was so scared. I still am. I’m terrified shitless. But I know that my fear is completely irrational, and that you’re literally the best person on Earth, which is why I’m writing this. I know it’s cliché to say my mom left me and now I think everybody will. And my first reaction to that is to hurt someone before they can hurt me, which is what I did. But as much as I wanna fight it, it’s always there at the back of my mind. You can even ask Sumin about it. Should I be saying that? I feel like I might as well. I was an asshole to her, and I’m so angry at myself that I did it again with you. I didn’t mean a single word of what I said about you to Jay. Not a single one. You’re not stupid, you’re the smartest and most amazing girl I know, and I never pretended I liked you, because I never had to. I think I just wanted Jay to punch me, really. I wanted him to run to you and make sure you were okay, because I was too scared to do that myself. But I regret doing that so much. I hope you know that. And bless Jay, he’s a real one. He told me to get my shit together and talk to you. I can tell he’s still mad at me but still wants to make things good between us. I was already trying to call you before he said that, but I probably would’ve said something stupid that would’ve made things worse. And I can’t afford that, Y/N, I really, really can’t. You get me like no one does and being with you is the most liberating thing ever, I’m never myself more than when I’m around you. You just bring out the best in me. Well, except for that thing I did. Which I promise I’ll never do again. I am so extremely sorry, and if you wanna hate me for the rest of your life, I completely get it. But I would also be very happy if you didn’t. I hope I’ll see you tomorrow at school. I really miss you.

Your Hoon

You wiped away the tears that had formed in your eyes and typed back:

You’re such an idiot, Park.

I’ll see you tomorrow.

—

The next day, as you imagined, was mostly hell. You’d decided not to dress up as usual: there was no point trying to look good after this, it would only make you seem more ridiculous. You put less makeup on, not bothering to hide your eye bags, and didn’t bling your outfit up with accessories or fancy shoes, opting for your worn-out Converse you’d had since your feet stopped growing. On the bus, where people usually ignored each other, you could already feel the gossip being told about you. You avoided people’s gaze like the plague and sat down next to Sumin. You laid your head on her shoulder and sighed.

“I already wanna go home.”

She laughed, “I know. We’ll be with you the whole day, so don’t worry.”

You spent the bus ride catching up on what had happened when you were gone (nothing much), and although there was some awkwardness there, it was nice being with your best friend. When Heeseung got on, he practically screamed your name and suffocated you by means of greeting.

“I’m so glad you’re back. You know, I think you look really cute in those pictures. All these people are just jealous they don’t look as good as you even when you don’t dress up.”

Sumin shot daggers with her eyes at him and he cringed, saying, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have mentioned that.”

You reassured him, saying that it was fine since it was all you were going to be hearing the next few days. “Might as well get used to it.”

It was somewhat easy to ignore the stares coming your way when you walked into school with Heeseung and Sumin flanked at your sides like bodyguards. When you reached your classroom, Jiung engulfed you in a hug and Sieun was almost crying. How the hell had you gotten such sweet friends? 

In the hallways, some people tried to get reactions out of you by calling you out, yelling liar! or you can’t fool us anymore. You couldn’t ignore them as they were very much in your face. When at lunch, a table of girls next to you was very clearly talking about you in the nastiest way possible, you took your tray and were ready to get up and leave, but a very familiar voice stopped you in your tracks.

“You think it’s funny talking about someone like that?” Sunghoon was practically screaming at the girls. “You think you’re any better than her? I bet you do the exact same thing but are just glad someone else got called out for it.” You weren’t sure if that made you feel much better, but you appreciated the effort.

“As a matter of fact,” he continued as he pulled out a chair and got up on it, his voice getting louder, “I’ve got something I wanna say to everyone.”

Somebody whooped (probably Jake) and you tried to get Sunghoon to come down from the chair, but he just smiled his radiant smile at you and turned to look at the students in the cafeteria.

“All of you who judge Y/N are hypocrites. You wanna tell me you’re all as perfect at home as you are at school? That you never relax a little bit? Sure, she pushed it a bit far- (hey! you grunted in protest), but nobody shows who they truly are to everyone. We all judge each other in this stupid high school, so Y/N did what she had to do and protected herself. If anything, this should make you respect her even more. And it’s not like she did anything wrong to you. She didn’t use her popularity against anyone, so you better not use this against her.”

From the crowded tables in the cafeteria, somebody yelled “Nobody cares!”

Somebody, whose voice you thought you recognized as Jungwon’s, joined in: “Yeah, what is it about you seniors and thinking the whole school revolves around you? We still like Y/N!”

Sunghoon, taken aback, simply said, “Oh. Alright. Well, you better keep it that way then!” and got off his chair. 

He turned to you, already a pleading look on his face and said “Y/N, I’m so sorry-”

But you cut him off right away. “I know, Sunghoon, I know. I think this proved it.”

“I really wanna make it up to you. So just tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it. Buy you a house, move to another country, you name it. I’ll do it.”

You chuckled at him. “You don’t need to go that far.” You looked down, then back at him. “I think I just want to pretend like nothing happened. Like it was all a huge, awful fever dream. Even if I can’t forgive and forget right away, I don’t think I want you out of my life while I figure it out.”

He let out the biggest sigh you’d ever heard. “My God, you don’t know how happy to hear that, Y/N. Thank you so much.”

“Thank you for defending me just now. That was… definitely something.”

He smiled down at you. "I did my best. Too bad those sophomores ruined everything.”

You could feel eyes burning into your sides, so you turned your head a bit and noticed that your friends and the table of girls that had just been gossiping were staring at you, some of them teary-eyed. When they saw you notice them, they all turned back to each other and pretended that they were having some other conversation. You and Sunghoon chuckled, and you realized how much you had missed him.

Yes, Sunghoon and Sumin had hurt you, but you were a strong believer of second chances. Even if it was hard at first to stop thinking about Sunghoon’s voice when he had said those things or Sumin’s intentions when she posted the pictures, they’d made it up to you in any way they could and you’d reciprocated that by being completely honest. No more trying to look perfect all the time; you were human and were allowed to have low moments. Your grades even dropped by two points, because you’d started spending more time with your friends than with your textbooks. You’d spent whole Saturdays at the ice rink with your now real-boyfriend Sunghoon, and had invited the whole crew. Heeseung was surprisingly good at it. You had even caught your little sister Yeeun on a date with the cute Japanese boy she’d talked about. 

As promised, Jay came once a week or every two weeks to have dinner with your family; Sunghoon always insisted on being present. The tension between them had turned into friendly competition, and you could tell the two friends were glad to have each other back. 

You’d never felt so free. Your relationship with Sunghoon felt like uncharted territory and home at the same time; so daunting and exciting yet so comfortable and relaxing. You kept the PDA at a minimum at school, but when it was just the two of you, your whole body never failed to heat up, even in the cold of the ice rink. He had been nicknamed the ice prince, but he was so, so warm.

In the end, everybody found out. But you had Park Sunghoon by your side, so it was alright.

permanent taglist: @zreamy @sunghoonmybeloved @lalalalawon @sd211 @w3bqrl @raikea10 @wntrnghts @moonlighthoon @4imhry @rikisly @loves0ft @iamliacamila @theboingsuckerasseater9000 @chaechae-23 @baekhyuns-lipchain @hyuckslvr @vernonburger (ask to be removed/added!)

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[woso-dreamzzz]

Teenage Dirtbag II

Mapi Leon x Ingrid Engen x Teen!Reader

Summary: It goes well until it doesn't

It's an honour, Mapi thinks, to watch you work.

She knows that she's talented with a pencil but that doesn't hold a candle to the way that you can create such detail on a wall with just some spray paint. You wield the cans expertly as you finish off the shading of the Barca crest on Ingrid's shirt and take a step back to survey your work.

It's picture-perfect and Mapi is stumped at how it's taken your family this long to recognise your talents.

"Alright," Ingrid says," Come on, picture time."

You groan but allow your sister to shepherd you in front of the mural to take a picture. She snaps several, inspecting each of them before finally nodding, satisfied.

She's been doing it for every stage of the process, to document it. She took pictures when you had drawn up your stencils, when you did your base layer and when you did your details.

It's a little annoying but you know you'll be glad later on when you have the pictures to post on your Instagram.

Mapi helps you cover the mural with cardboard so only the very bottom is shown. You grab your blue and red can and stab them with the scissors you've brought with you.

"You might need to back up," You say to your sister and her girlfriend," This will explode in a sec."

The cans are letting out a high-pitched squeaking sound and you usher Ingrid and Mapi back a few steps. You've blocked off the rest of your mural so only the bottom will be splattered with blaugrana colours.

"How do they work?" Mapi wonders aloud.

"Well," You reply, not turning your eyes away from the squealing of your cans," Liquid paint is mixed with a pressurised gas that remains liquid at room temperature. The ones at home that I use have di-methyl ether but I think these have a mix of propane and butane." You shrug. "So I think that means the solvent in them is acetone."

You look over at the shocked look on Mapi's face just as the cans finally explode.

"What?"

"You're incredibly smart," Is what she says in answer and you kind of shrug as you go to collect the cans and take down the cardboard.

"Okay." Ingrid claps her hands together. "Another picture. Go on."

"Ingrid," You groan," Do I have to?"

"Yes," She laughs," Go on. I'm waiting."

You begrudgingly stand in front of it but can't keep the smile off your face.

Mapi notices a change in you the following days. You've relaxed considerably in the house now. You try harder at your schoolwork, pulling your grades up to heights that Mapi could never even dream of. You're more social than ever - though you never go anywhere without your sketchbook.

The team seem pretty entranced by you as well, demanding to meet the artist that Ingrid and Mapi found to do all the murals. You've been making bank from them, drawing portraits and making paintings.

You seem happier now, less hostile than before and Mapi can get the tiniest of glimpses into how you and Ingrid used to interact just by the way you hang out now.

Ingrid's arm easily rests upon your shoulders and Norwegian is a lot more common in the house now. You happily stick to her side and proudly show her your grades when they get released.

There's no indication that you're holding something in until Mapi comes home to frosty indifference between you and your sister.

You're stewing at the kitchen table, scrawling some kind of angry swirls in your sketchpad that you're still managing to make look artistic while Ingrid is muttering angrily under her breath as she talks on the phone.

You keep throwing glares over at her before scratching your pencil across your page again.

"Hey," Mapi says," What's going on?"

You scoff. "I don't know. Why don't you ask golden child, Ingrid? Perfect, perfect Ingrid." Your tone is vicious and mean and Ingrid looks over at you to glare. You sneer back at her before standing up and going to your room, slamming the door shut behind you.

"What's up with her?"

Ingrid sighs, saying goodbye to whoever's on the phone. "I don't know," She says," I just came in and we had an argument."

"About what? She's done her homework, right?"

"Mum and Dad," Ingrid replies," She thinks they're showing favouritism again."

Mapi holds her tongue. She knows that Ingrid thinks the world of your parents and it's clear you're fairly disillusioned with them. Mapi knows that there are definitely hints of favouritism from when she's seen all of you interact with each other but she's not too sure if it's her place to speak up about it.

"I mean," Ingrid scoffs," They're talking about bringing her home now that her grades are going open. I think my brother said that they're willing to let her keep art as a hobby. They'll pay for all the supplies she wants so long as she gets a good degree."

Mapi sighs and darts her eyes away. "Ingrid..." She says finally.

"What? Mapi? What is it?"

"Nothing..."

"No, tell me."

"I don't think she would be happy going home," Mapi says eventually," I know you love your parents but...You have to admit they have high expectations-"

"Because they love us."

"Yes, I know but..." Mapi's eyes linger on your closed door. "Have you ever thought that she might not want to leave?" She bites at her lip, wary if she should say what she's going to say next. "Maybe the distance from your parents is what she needs. You have to admit, Ingrid, your parents aren't the nicest about her passions. You saw her when she was doing that mural. You know that this is what she wants to do with her life."

Ingrid looks at your door too. "I know," She says," But Mum and Dad really want her to come home. They think maybe law school."

"And what do you think? Do you think she would enjoy being in law school? Do you?"

"No." Ingrid can't stop staring at the closed door. "But...What about her friends? Maybe if she goes back to Norway, she can see them again."

"No offense, but your sister is the biggest lone wolf I've ever met. She's happy here, with us. She's more supported than she's ever been before. You need to put your foot down. She stays with us."

Ingrid sighs, looking at her phone screen. Your parents are calling again and she angrily swipes to reject the call.

She knocks on your door.

"Hey, can I come in?" She asks," I think we need to have a little chat."

There's no answer.

"Come on," She says," It's not a bad talk. We can get sushi after."

There's still no answer.

"I'm coming in," Ingrid warns," So if you're shirtless or something, cover up."

She pushes the door open, expecting to find you at your desk with your chunky headphones on but she finds nothing of the sight. The room is completely empty and Ingrid shoves her head out of your open window to spy the drainpipe that you've clearly climbed down.

"You already talk? That was quick," Mapi says as Ingrid comes back into the living room," Are we getting sushi already? 'Cause I would kill for some sushi right about now."

"Get the keys," Ingrid says," She's left out the window."

"Down the drainpipe?" Mapi asks," Damn, I only taught her how to do that for emergencies."

Ingrid sighs deeply, massaging her head with her hand. She'd deal with the clear bad influence Mapi has on you later as she whips out her phone to track your location.

You've made good progress from the time that you stormed into your room to now, making it pretty far across the city to the more rundown side of town that Ingrid knows for a fact has boarded up buildings from when businesses had to close during covid.

Mapi drives them down to some kind of packing warehouse that looks like had been broken into long before you came to stay. It's completely filthy and Ingrid just hopes that there are no squatters to contend with.

She finds you pretty quickly on the second floor. You've curled yourself into the corner on the floor, with tears streaming down your face.

Opposite you, is another mural.

It's a heartbreaking sight.

Yet again, your work is picture-perfect and, somehow, that makes it even worse.

In the background is a little girl. She's got her hands pressed up against a window, peering in. The foreground is dominated by a family. Most of their faces are made up of angry black and red swirls. Only one other person has a face.

It's clear who it is and Ingrid sits down next to you.

You don't say anything to her. You just move to lean against her. You press your head into her neck and sob.

"You're not going anywhere," She says," You're staying right here with me and Mapi."

[darling-renyuu]

can this be a real thing? can it?

fic summary: living with kuni has been quite the experience. he still carries the attitude he developed as the balladeer, ordering you to do various stuff he can’t exactly do by himself. (in between therapy sessions with nahida, his schoolwork, and his part-time job as a barista, you’re often the one left at home with your “work-from-home” job.)

so you surprise him by finishing everything before he asks for it.

“[Name], can’t you throw out the trash? I’m leaving in a minute.”

“[Name], the dishes. My shift starts in an hour.”

“[Name].”

These are just some of the many statements you got used to at the start of your… cohabitation. Needless to say, Kuni has been stacked with things to do. Leaving some of the work to you.

“Ugh, they’re wasting my time. How hard is it to send your parts on time?” He clutches his temples, groaning. You set down a steaming cup of tea and a snack on his desk. Kissing his hair, you whisper.

“Take a break, Kuni. Starving yourself won’t make them move any faster.”

He turns to you slowly. Kuni scans your face, raising an eyebrow. “What’s gotten into you?”

You smile.

“Nothing,” you say, kissing his cheek next, “I love you.”

You feel his cheek warm slightly under your lips. Chuckling, you step away. Kuni stares at you as you exit his study, frowning with a flushed face. He shrugs it off as you being weird again.

He’s had a long damn day. Most of the customers ordered outrageous drinks again, and his head hurt thinking about how sweet the drinks would be. Add the cherry on top, their loud voices disturbing the cafe he works in. Once out of sight, he had rolled his eyes.

You all will get diabetes, idiots.

He approaches your apartment door, fishing his bag pocket for his keys. Kuni stares emptily into the door as he unlocks it. Ugh. I left the dishes unwashed before leaving. Guess I’ll have to-

His eyes widen at the empty sink, the plates placed neatly on the rack. The cups are all washed as well, turned upside down. He hangs his coat on a hanger, a warmth growing in his chest.

Rolling up his sleeves, he calls out. “[Name]? What do you want for dinner?”

Nahida walks with him, out of her apartment. “I think there’s been a very good improvement in your mental state, Kuni. I believe in you, and I know your partner does too.”

Kuni blushes hard, ready to refute when Nahida raises a brow. He snaps his mouth shut and grumbles. Nahida gasps, remembering something.

”Oh, I can’t drive tou back home today. Kaveh borrowed my car, so how do you plan on getting home?” She asks, her brows furrowed in concern.

He waved it off. “I’ll just get a taxi-”

A beep sounded behind them, and once Nahida caught sight of the vehicle, she smiled and waved. Kuni turned around, meeting the familiar sight of his love’s car.

You rolled down the window, grinning. “Hey, Nahida. How was Kuni today?”

Kuni stared at you, while Nahida’s smile grew softer. “He’s doing well! I think you’re helping him a whole lot, [Name].”

You smile sheepishly. “Aw, well. I’m doing my best.”

Kuni turns to Nahida, breaking out of his shocked stupor.

“I guess I’ll go home now. See you on Friday?” At that, Nahida nods.

“Yes. Stay safe, the both of you.”

He nodded, and got in your car. You waved goodbye to Nahida, before driving off to your house.

Somehow, you can feel Kuni boring a hole into your head with his eyes. You glance at him. “What’s up, love?”

“…Why are you doing this?” He asks, cautious. Your heart clenches, and you reach out to caress his hand.

“I was free today, and I figured you’d be tired. Is it okay that I picked you up, Kuni?” You asked, fully looking at him once you got to a stop light.

Kuni just stared at you, but then he gives a tiny smile. “…Thanks.”

You can’t help but lean over, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I love you.”

“…I love you too.” Kuni whispers, not quite ready to look you in the eyes today.

At home, you both end up cuddling, telling each other about your day.

”Did you know, Kuni? My coworker accidentally sent a meme to our official company page. It was hilarious, seeing the boss send confused messages about the pic.” You laughed.

Kuni snorts, pulling your head closer to his chest. He pauses, and grabs your face in his hands. “But tell me, what’s the real reason behind all this?”

“What is… this?” You ask, curious.

He bites his lip. “Making me tea, doing the dishes, driving me home, hell. The house is spotless. Why?”

Your smile turns shy. “Well, I saw how tired you were getting. Between your work, your schoolwork, and your much needed sessions with Nahida, I know how busy you are. I don’t want you to feel obliged to do everything yourself. I’m your partner, baby. I want to make it easier for you, even in the little things.”

Kuni’s eyes widen as you speak, his gaze getting softer. He sighs.

”I’ll admit. This… this whole thing is new to me. So I was freaked out. I really thought, at first, that you were just doing all that because you needed something. But… knowing your intentions now,” he says, caressing your cheek. “I-Thank you.”

You turn your head and kiss his palm. “No worries, honey. I’ll be sure to make you feel loved and cared for, just as much as you make me feel the same.”

Kuni allows himself a soft smile, holding you closer.

“Stop being sappy.”

“Make me, darling.”

“Just…Stop giving me a new petname every second, [Name]!”

“Oh, I’ve got a lot more in store, sweetheart.”

Kuni pinches your cheek, and you let out a string of “ah, ow, ow, baby! ‘M sorry!”

He snorts, kissing your sore cheek. “Just go to sleep now.”

“Yes sir.” You smile, turning your head to meet his lips.

written by @/darling-renyuu. please do not repost.

[mrchiipchrome]

Parents

W.C. - 3 k

“Fuck!”

“Language” Lucy replies.

Joining Barcelona at the age of 14 last season had changed your life for the better, sure the balancing of schoolwork and professional football was difficult to say the least but you had the most amazing women around you helping. You moved from a small club in the south of Spain to the giants during the summer transfer window, over the moon as soon as you got the call that they wanted to sign you. Your parents gave you the ‘okay’ for the move, though their jobs were too important to leave so you would get placed with a teammate as a solution.

So when you had packed up what little you needed from your childhood bedroom in your backpack, you set off for the train. One tearful goodbye with your parents later and you stepped foot on the train taking you to the city of dreams.

When you arrived, you got picked up by a member of staff and directly to the training grounds where you would meet the team for the first time and sign the paperwork. It felt like it took 1000 years to sign all the papers but when you were finally done, you could feel the excitement coursing through your veins. 

Meeting your teammates was a success and the prospect of living with any of them had you excited. You instantly got the hint that you would live with the two English women when they were asked to stay after practice. Not making too much of a fuss when they realized they had a teen to take care of was good for you, the two of them already having known that you would join their residence for a couple weeks. And so you moved in, creating an unbreakable bond by the end of the first week with the two women.

—

“Can we go out for ice cream after training? I finished all my assignments.” No one could ever resist your puppy dog eyes, infamously adorable, so when you threw them into the mix you were sure that you would get your sought after ice cream. Lucy slings her strong arm around your shoulder, walking a little faster than she normally would to be able to keep the pace of your long lanky legs. Keira slips her arm around your waist at your other side, the two older women sandwiching you between them as they ‘think’ about your offer.

“Sure, but only if you promise to brush your teeth extra carefully tonight. Wouldn’t want you to get cavities-” Your cheers cut her off as you suddenly take off in the direction of some of the younger players, happy that you would get your sweet treat. 

The two women left walking look at each other with a certain softness expressed through their eyes. They hadn’t been expecting to be thrown into ‘parenthood’ so suddenly but life works how it does for a reason, and to be fair Keira did have a bit of experience, dealing with Georgia and all.

Later that day, Lucy’s followers are blessed with a picture of you sitting across from them at the ice cream parlor eating your ice cream before a picture of her and Keira doing the same. It was a sweet moment between the small family, you had really found your true parents in the two women.

—

Trekking around with a knife and an apple was not an uncommon feat at the Walsh-Bronze household, especially not recently. Keira had banned you from using knives after you had accidentally cut off the tip of your pinky while cooking and had to go to the hospital to have it reattached to the rest of your finger. So now you were stuck with the ugly bandage on your hand and another reason for Keira to not let you do something, but you’re sure that she’s been looking for a reason to ban your use of knives for a while now.

You had already looked everywhere for the midfielder, Lucy had gone out to grocery shop so Keira was the only choice but you had exactly no idea where she was. Just as you’re about to break the hard imposed rule she had set and cut the apple yourself, you hear talking from the living room.

Walking into the room, you immediately spot Keira sitting on the couch talking to someone. At first, you don’t know who’s on the other line, but that is before you hear the heavily accented raspy voice of Keira’s best friend. Leah Williamson.

Both Keira and Lucy think your obvious crush on the defender is hilarious, always teasing you and speaking about introducing the two of you. Yet you had always been able to escape the premises before Keira had ever pressed the button under Leah’s name, going over to Vicky’s or in dire cases your captain’s house.

Your eyes widen drastically, but with Keira not noticing your obvious presence you slowly start to back away and out of the room. You see how Keira’s head snaps up in your direction as you accidentally step on one of Narla’s squeaky toys, producing a sound akin to that of a dying pig. Looking down at your feet and the offending device, the only thing you can think about is how the next few minutes are going to be pure hell and embarrassment for you. The next time you look up at the redhead she’s staring back at you with a teasing look in her eyes and a smile full of mirth, and you just know she’s thinking of ways to torture you.

“Y/n, just the person I was looking for! Come say hi to the people” Her eager movements indicating she wanted you to come closer simply don’t give you another choice, especially now that they know it’s you who entered the room. Walking over to the couch which she sits at, you’re careful with the knife still in your hand as you flop down beside her.

“Need help with my apple, please.” Without even responding, she hands you her phone while taking the things from your hands in a swapping gesture. The first thing you notice is how Leah's face only takes up half of the screen instead of the whole screen, clueing you in on what Keira meant by ‘the people’, it wasn’t a facetime call but an instagram live.

“Hi Y/n, I've heard a lot about you, all good things I promise” The wink she throws you isn’t a flirting one by any means, it’s one of those you throw out haphazardly at the end of one of those sentences like the one that just fell from her lips. And like anyone would in your situation, you stutter out a reply all while a blush overtakes your face.

“H-hey Leah” You pair with a wave as you hear Keira sigh beside you at your obvious awkwardness around people you thought of as attractive. “Keira talks about you all the time, so I’ve heard a lot about you too.”

“Keira was just telling me about her new habit of banning things around the house-“

“I have nothing to do with that-“ Keira cuts you off before you can continue lying about your clear involvement in doing things that you later get banned from.

“Excuse me, wasn’t it you who just had to spend nearly two hours in the ER to reattach the tip of your pinky after an accident in the kitchen? Wasn’t it that whole ordeal that made me ban your use of knives in the first place?” Her exposing you had the blush on your face turning a deeper shade of red as you relent, holding up your non-dominant hand covered in bandages from your wrist up to the tips of your pinky and ring finger. 

“To be fair, it wouldn’t have happened if Luce hadn’t distracted me in the first place. She’s too good at that.” If Lucy hadn’t made you look up by calling your name, then you wouldn’t have sliced through your finger instead of the cucumber and Keira wouldn’t have needed to pick up the bloody piece of flesh to put on ice while the distractor herself wrapped your finger tightly in a kitchen towel.

“What about the time before that, huh? The oven incident? Who’s fault was that?” She speaks as she hands you the now cut up apple and takes her phone from your unsteady hand, the phone displaying Leah’s clearly amused expression at the bickering happening in Spain.

“Gracias Kie” You cut yourself off as you take a bite of the juicy apple you’ve waited for so long before continuing what you were about to say. “That was mostly my fault, but how was I supposed to know that the baking sheet had been in the oven when there were no indications of it being hot” Keira just rolls her eyes at that, having told you multiple times before you picked up the metal that it was hot.

“As clumsy as Alessia then, are you?” Leah reminds you of her presence with the rapidly strung together sentence, and while you just look on confused as you hadn’t ever met any of Keira and Lucy’s national teammates she understands exactly what the blonde means.

“No, Alessia’s more clumsy clumsy while this one” She points at you with her thumb, “is dangerous clumsy. Less trips and falls over her feet casually, this one is barely allowed to use the butterknife ‘cause she might accidentally cut herself. Yeah, them two together would be chaotic. We would need double the manpower to keep them from injuring themself.”

Just as you’re about to retort, you hear the front door open and Lucy calling out for you. Sighing, you begrudgingly say goodbye before taking your leave to help Lucy with the groceries. You hear Keira say a quiet “She has the biggest crush on you” to Leah, but you simply can’t be bothered to react.

—

“Lucy, Luce, Roberta, wake up damnit” 

Being shaken awake by a frantic 15 year old is not something many do, usually at that age you’re more sophisticated and careful as you wake people if you do at all. And yet, Lucy finds herself in the predicament of having to decide whether to wake up or not, but as she hears the fast breathing and feels the hands on her still she decides to wake up.

“Hey, hey, calm down. I can’t help you if you don’t calm down, you know.” Now sitting up and more alert, Lucy pulls your shaking form down onto the bed she shares with the other English woman who has miraculously managed to stay asleep through all the ruckus. Holding you in her arms, she feels you calming down little by little until you’re completely still in her hold. She’s nearly convinced that you’ve managed to fall asleep as your steady breaths puff against her neck, but as you speak her assumptions are proven wrong.

“Had a bad dream, I wanted to make sure you and Kie were alright. If it’s not too much to ask for, could you tell me the story of the moon and the sun again?” Lucy had to hold back from letting the exclamation of adoration out at you immediately looking for her and Kiera after experiencing a nightmare. She remembers telling you the story her own mother had told her when she was a kid.

"Of course I can, it’s no problem” She waits for you to stop shifting around so much and to find a more comfortable position in between her and her girlfriend. When you finally still, she starts retelling the story she’s heard so many times before.

“Before there was anything, before me and you and everyone else on this planet existed there was a moon and a sun. Every night right before the moon would go to bed, it would notice the sun lighting up the sky with its incredible glow. As the moon woke up, the sun would go to sleep and its shine would be gone, the moon would miss the very thing it so longed for. So the moon devised a plan, a plan to not miss the bright light of its long lost love, a plan of great excellence and intrigue. And so the night of the plan came, the moon waiting for the rays of sunshine to overtake the dark of the sky it had been so used to. As the sky lit up with soft rays of orangey yellow, the moon couldn’t think of anything other than how much more beautiful everything was when it was lit up by the sun.” 

Lucy felt the way you had slumped against her halfway through the story, now sure about your unconscious state.

“You’re good with her” Keira speaks from the other side of your body and Lucy smiles at the sound of her voice.

 “Thank you”

—

When you heard that team bonding would take place at the zoo, you couldn’t have been more excited. On the contrary, both of your team moms were less than happy about the choice of location for the activity knowing they were going to have a hyperactive Y/n on their hands. But as luck would have it, the kiddie leash they had ordered for these occasions had come in the week prior. It was one of those backpacks with the leash attached to the back of it that you would see parents with unruly children use. 

After a bit of bribing, they got past the initial protests of you not being a child and got you to put on the dinosaur backpack, they tightened it to make sure it wouldn’t fall off before walking out of the house together.

They made sure to use the backpack function as well, stuffing it with your drinks and snacks. You’re nearly at the zoo when they realize the absence of the memory of you taking your medication that morning, and at that moment they are incredibly thankful for making you wear the backpack.

Watching as you flip Mapi off for making fun of your new accessory, they don’t have the heart to tell you off for the obscene gesture. Not when it was their fault you were getting made fun of in the first place. 

Like always, you gravitate towards the younger members of the team while Keira does the older ones. This leaves Lucy to go with you to your friends and Keira to walk over to hers. 

“Vicky look at my backpack, isn’t it cool?” You skip over to her, clutching onto the fabric hanging over your shoulders as Lucy tries to keep up with your overly energetic self.

“It’s really cool Y/n” Vicky’s words mean a lot to you, her becoming a close friend and a sisterly figure for you with her being so close in age. 

When everyone is rounded up, they buy their tickets one by one and wait on the other side of the gates for the rest. Once inside, you’re rushing around buzzing to see all the animals that you can’t see normally. Like the saying goes, time goes faster when you’re having fun, you soon find yourself eating lunch with half the day being spent with different animals. You and Lucy are throwing teasing comments at each other like usual when an innocent comment starts an onslaught of funny statements.

“Y/n when I was your age-” She doesn’t get to finish her sentence before you start.

“Luce, when you were my age I wasn’t even born yet. In fact you made your senior debut for Sunderland a year before I was born.” That shut her up, not knowing that you had done your research on her. 

The rest of the day goes off without a hitch and as you walk home, you can’t help but wonder why life has been so good to you lately. But you don’t think for too long, instead being happy with the course your life has taken.

But everything everyone can talk about when the pictures of the day are released is how you had to wear the kiddie leash. 

—

Lately you’ve been using TikTok a bit more often, not much more than before but there was a difference. This meant that you had discovered new trends and edits of your teammates, you had even followed a couple of accounts making videos of your teammates to show them later. 

But when you saw the video on your recommended page, you just knew it would be perfect for you to use with Lucy and Kiera. The perfect opportunity to strike comes up when they ask you to join them for a walk with Narla later that day, to which you agree. 

You let them walk in front of you as you slow down, TikTok open on your phone ready to record the interaction. You hold your thumb on the red button as you start by recording yourself mouthing the words before turning it to them and recording them in time with the sound.

Slipping your phone back into your pocket, you decide to edit the clip later and enjoy the walk you currently were on. 

Arriving home, you go to your room and type out the in video caption of ‘when they take you out on walks with their dog’. Before posting the video you type the usual caption, ‘walks with Robert and shaKeira (narla was there too)’.

An hour later the two victims barge into your room and unexpectedly hug you, expecting them to be ‘annoyed’ at you but that wasn’t the case.

“You think of us as your parents?” You see Lucy discreetly wipe a tear from her eye, but you pretend not to notice it.

“Well yeah, you guys have been more like my parents these last few months than my biological ones have been all 14 years they had me around.” The two just embrace you harder at that, and you can feel their love seeping through their actions.

“So I take it you like my mama y papa video then?” The two of them just press a kiss to either side of your face, and you feel truly happy for the family you have gotten since you moved to Barcelona.

Nearly took longer to post this, my hand is burnt. Hope you enjoyed, this was a pretty shit one. Promise the next one is Lessi

[e-hv]

Why

This is a repost cause i deleted all my fics

part 2

Major warning if you have mommy issues or daddy issues or parental neglect issues pls do not read this

and if you do read this pls don't blame me for anything, including but not limited to excessive crying/sobbing, a depression slump/ wanting to kill someone or anything else

Or if you're name Sarah

Alexia Putellas X Child!Reader

Tw: Negelct, Angst

Summary: Why does she not keep her promises

"Why do I keep reaching out to you, hoping for some semblance of acknowledgment, only to be met with silence and indifference?

“Mami, I made it into the school’s football team.” Ten year old you was very excited to tell Alexia that you made the football team. She was on her computer watching replays of her matched yesterday, she promised you she would fetch you from school toady but instead of her your helper was there. But you told yourself it was okay because Mami was busy and you could just tell her the good news when you got home. When you told her the news, she looked at you and asked you not to bother her while she was working, and that she’ll talk to you during dinner. So you went to your room to do your schoolwork. When you finally finish all your school work and extra revision, you went out of your room to find your Mami,but she wasn’t there so you asked your helper. She said Alexia, went out to meet up with friends. After dinner, you decide to wait up for her and read a book in the mean time, by the time she got backed you were almost done with the book and was really sleepy. But you still ran up to her and greet her, she pushed you away telling you that she was too tired and went to her room to sleep. You went back to your room, sitting on your bed, holding your book tightly, you couldn't help but wonder why Mami didn't seem to care about you. Why did she always ignore you when you just wanted her to notice you and be proud of you? Why did you keep trying to talk to her, hoping she would finally pay attention to you, even though she never did?

Tears welled up in your eyes as you whispered to yourself, "Why couldn’t she be proud of me like the moms in the stories are of their children?”

Why do I continue to bend over backwards to fulfill your every request, knowing deep down that you're just putting on a facade for others?

“Mami, can I go to the arcade with my friends it’s the last day of school, and we want to do something fun together.” You were now eleven, older then ten but still young enough to think Alexia could change. Alexia had just came home from training,but she was on the phone with someone so she told you to quiet down. You sighed and walked to your room to put down your bag and change into something comfortable. You decide to do your work as you thought if you finished it your Mami would let you go out with your friends. When you heard Alexia said her goodbyes to whoever was on the phone. You opened your room door and called for her, and reapeated the question adding in the fact that you finished your school work. She said you weren’t allowed to go out today and you could go out with them tomorrow instead, you tried to explain to her that most of your friends would be out of the country but she said you shouldn’t argue with her as she was your mother, and that she had a reason for saying no. You asked her what the reason was and she said her teammates were coming over for teambuilding and she wanted you to help bring them drinks and buy food and snacks for them. You just nodded your head and said yes knowing there was no use arguing. By the time you got back her teammates were already there, you heard her teammate, Ingrid, compliment how good you are. But your Mami just dismissed it and said that it was just how you were. Her other teammate Lucia asked her if you played football, Alexia laughed and said she didn’t think so. Feeling a lump form in your throat, you dropped the bag of snacks to the floor, causing concern from the adults. You assured them you were fine and quietly announced to your mom that you were going to bed, your heart heavy with disappointment and a growing understanding of the reality of your relationship.

When you stepped into your room, the weight of disappointment and frustration became too much to bear. You collapsed onto your bed, letting the tears flow freely as you allowed yourself to finally break down. The floodgates of emotion opened, releasing the pent-up feelings of rejection, loneliness, and hurt that you had been holding back. With each sob, you felt a little bit of the burden lift from your shoulders, yet the ache in your heart remained, a constant reminder of the unmet longing for your mother's love and approval.

Why do I lie to those around me, insisting that your absence isn't your fault, when I know it is?

“Miss Sánchez, my mom can’t make it to my graduation, because she has some work issues.”

You were now 12 and graduating from Primary school, you knew you weren’t telling the truth but it was technically not a lie either. Your teacher asked if you wanted her to speak to your mom to ask her to come but you said it was okay and you knew your mom was busy that day. Your best friend, Zoe, did not believe you and asked you to tell her why your mom couldn’t come. You told her that she was just busy and that it wasn’t her fault because she was the captain and she had to help her teammates. Zoe said it was bullshit, and you agreed but you just couldn’t bring yourself to say it after all she was still your mom. Zoe asked you again why she actually couldn’t come and you finally told her the truth, that your Mom was training another girl the same age as you, and that the girls graduation was the same day as yours but her parents couldn’t make it so your mom promised the girl she would go instead. When the day of the graduation came, you didn’t even see Alexia in the morning as she said she was going to get breakfast with the girl, you looked in the mirror and thought to yourself,” Why didn’t she remember or keep or the promises she made for me but keeps the promises she makes for this girl. She didn’t even remember the fact she promise you she would be at your graduation, two weeks ago.”

You took a deep breath, steeling yourself for the day you'd confront her, letting the anger and hurt fuel your determination to rise above her absence. You knew you deserved better, and you vowed to become stronger, despite her shortcomings. Why do I constantly make excuses for your shortcomings, even though you never bother to show up for me?

And you... why do you harbor such animosity towards me that you refuse to even acknowledge my existence anymore?

“Hey, have you talk to your mom about the road trip yet?” Zoe asked. You said you haven’t had the time to, but the truth was your Mom was spending more time with Elena the girl whose graduation she went to and missed yours as a consequence, and hadn’t been talking to you for about a week , if you were still twelve you would have been sobbing your eyes out but you were now thirteen and realize what your mom was truly like to you. The only interaction you had was when she gave you money or you gave her something to sign, not that you didn’t try on your part you send her messages asking her if she wanted to go out for breakfast, lunch, dinner or even to just kick the ball around but she didn’t see it much less respond to it or said yes. You even resorted to leaving notes on the table but when you came back home instead of seeing a reply the note was in the trash. You were very sure she wouldn’t even notice your gone as the road trip was only for a week, and you wanted to test out your theory. So you asked her to give you a weeks worth of allowance when you finally saw her and agreed, probably because it meant she wouldn’t have to interact more with you.

When you came back from the road trip, you found that your theory was sadly accurate. Your mom hadn't even noticed you were gone. There were no inquiries about your trip, no excitement to hear about your adventures, no concern for your well-being. It was as if you had never left.

At first, the realization stung. You couldn't understand why your own mother seemed to harbor such animosity towards you, why she couldn't spare a moment to acknowledge your existence. But as the days passed, you began to accept the truth: your relationship with your mom was not what you had hoped it would be. She was more invested in Elena, more interested in her life and her accomplishments, than she was in yours.

It hurt, of course it did. But you were thirteen now, no longer the naive twelve-year-old who believed that her mom's love and attention were guaranteed. You knew better. And so, with a heavy heart but a steely resolve, you made a silent vow to yourself: you wouldn't waste any more time trying to win your mom's affection.

What did I do to deserve such disdain from my own flesh and blood?

“I didn’t do anything wrong Mom, she tried to take my necklace!” You tried explaining to your , mom. But she didn’t listen to you instead taking away your necklace and giving it to Elena, and telling her to go to the living room. Elena acted like an angel in front of her saying it was okay but when she walked out and your mom’s back was facing towards her she gave you a smirk as if saying now you know who she loves more. You tried explaining the situation again, but your mom said she didn’t want to listen to you and that she was so disappointed that she raised such a selfish and jealous daughter. You wanted to protest and state your case but you gave up knowing there was no point, you were now fourteen you told yourself it would just be four years until your out of this emotional hell hole and you would be with the person who treated you like her actual daughter. The person who gave you the necklace Elena took.

What flaw in me is so repulsive that you would rather speak to her than to me, your own daughter?

“Mom, can I talk to you about football tatics,?” you asked. You asked Alexia about football tactics, hoping to bond over something you both enjoyed, but she brushed you off, claiming she was too busy. You said it was okay and continued to read, when you heard the phone ring, Alexia had answered with a “Hola,Pequeña” and you knew she was talking to Elena, as Elena was the only one she called Pequeña, she defiteniley didn’t call you that or anyother nickname in the first place. Hell she doesn’t even acknowlege your her daughter unless she’s scolding you and telling you how she couldn’t believe she raised you.

Feeling rejected once again, you retreated to your room, wondering what flaw in you was so repulsive that your own mother would rather speak to someone else.

You lay on your bed, staring at the ceiling, the weight of her indifference pressing down on you like a heavy blanket.

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you tried to make sense of the situation, to understand what was so wrong with you that she would rather speak with her instead. But you went to your bathroom wipe your tears, and reminded your self you were now fifteen and that when you were twelve you vowed to yourself that you would no longer allow Alexia's indifference to define you.

And despite all the hurt and disappointment you've caused, why do I still cling to the hope that one day, you'll finally be there for me, even though you've never shown any inclination to do so in the past?

“Mom, I have an important football match today, can you come to support me?” You asked, your voice tinged with a flicker of hope despite the years of disappointment weighing heavy on your heart.

Alexia glanced up from her phone, her expression distant as she muttered something about being busy and needing to focus on her and Elena’s own training. The familiar sting of rejection pierced through you once again, but you quickly masked your disappointment with a forced smile.

Deep down, you knew better than to expect her to show up. You knew the pattern all too well — your mother's absence, her lack of interest in your life, her constant prioritization of others over you. But still, despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary, a small part of you clung to the hope that maybe, just maybe, this time would be different.

As you made your way to the football field, your heart heavy with the weight of unmet expectations, you tried to push aside the nagging doubts and convince yourself that today would be the day she finally showed up for you. But deep down, you knew the truth — that no matter how much you wished for her presence, she would never be there to cheer you on, to celebrate your victories, or to comfort you in your defeats.

And yet, despite all the hurt and disappointment she had caused, despite the countless times she had let you down, you couldn't help but cling to the hope that one day, she would finally be there for you. It was a hope born from a deep-seated longing for a mother's love and approval, a hope that refused to die despite the harsh reality of your relationship. Even though you promise yousrelf that you would stop, but this was her last chance, you were now seventeen but was turning eighteen soon and she didn’t take it, so you knew your decision.

After the game, that you won, you looked into the stands even though you knew no one would be there to your surprise, the women you met at a match your mom played, who then became the person who treated you like her actual daughter was there.

Her warm smile and enthusiastic applause filled you with a sense of validation and belonging that you had longed for but never received from your own mother.

As you made your way over to her, she enveloped you in a tight hug, congratulating you on your victory and praising your performance on the field and telling you that she couldn’t wait until you joined her to play in arsenal. The person who treated you like her actual daughter and the person you call Ma when you talked to, was Leah Williamson. In that moment, surrounded by her genuine affection and support, you felt a sense of relief wash over you — a sense of relief that you no longer needed to rely on your mother's approval to feel valued and loved.

I just wish one day I'll have enough courage to let go of the futile longing for your love and acceptance, and to find the strength to accept that you may never change, no matter how much I yearn for your presence in my life.

“You ready to go yet?” Your Ma asked you. You told her to give you a few minutes, you look around your now barren room, all the memories flooding back.

The first time you made it into a football team,

"Mom, I made it into the school’s football team."

"That's nice, honey," Alexia replied absentmindedly, her eyes glued to the screen.

"But you promised you'd pick me up today," you reminded her, your excitement dampened by her lack of attention.

"I know, sweetie, but something came up. The helper will take care of you," she said, barely sparing you a glance.

Disappointed but hopeful, you waited until dinner to share your news, hoping for a moment of connection.

"Not now, I'm busy," Alexia brushed you off, immersed in her work.

Crestfallen, you retreated to your room, the weight of her indifference pressing down on you.

"Why doesn’t she care?" you whispered to yourself, tears welling in your eyes. "Why can't she just be proud of me?"

The last day of school when you were eleven,

"Mami, can I go to the arcade with my friends? It’s the last day of school," you asked, longing for a moment of fun.

"Not today, darling," Alexia replied, her attention divided between you and her phone call.

"But I finished all my work," you protested, desperate for her approval.

"I said no. End of discussion," she declared, her tone final.

Defeated, you resigned yourself to another night at home, your heart heavy with disappointment.

Your graduation when you were twelve,

"Mom, why can't you come to my graduation?" you asked, masking the hurt in your voice.

"I have a work commitment, sweetie," Alexia replied, her words ringing hollow.

"But you promised," you whispered, the weight of her broken promises crushing you.

As the day of your graduation arrived, you watched as Alexia left to attend another girl's ceremony, leaving you behind.

"Why does she always choose someone else over me?" you wondered, the sting of rejection burning deep.

When Elena took your necklace, and she took her side,

"I didn’t do anything wrong, Mom," you insisted, your voice trembling with emotion.

"I don't want to hear it," Alexia cut you off, her disappointment palpable.

"Why won't you listen to me?" you pleaded, tears streaming down your cheeks.

As you stood in your room, the silence echoed around you, a painful reminder of your mother's absence.

"Mom, please," you begged, your voice breaking with emotion.

But there was no answer, only the emptiness of your own heartache.

With all this memories flooding back to you, you decided to write her a letter,

Dear Alexia,

As you can see i’m no longer calling you mom. Since I was ten i’ve been making excuses as to why you didn’t care for me, I remember the times when I reached out to you, hoping for even a semblance of acknowledgment, only to be met with silence and indifference. Like when I excitedly told you I made it into the school's football team, only to have you brush me off, too busy with your own affairs to spare a moment for me. Or when I asked if I could go to the arcade with my friends, hoping for a moment of fun together, only to be shut down without a second thought.

I've bent over backwards to fulfill your every request, hoping against hope that maybe this time, you would see me, truly see me, and be proud of me. But time and time again, I've been met with disappointment and heartache.

I've lied to those around me, insisting that your absence isn't your fault, when deep down, I know it is. I've made excuses for your shortcomings, trying to shield you from judgment, even though you've never bothered to show up for me.

And I've wondered, time and time again, what flaw in me is so repulsive that you would rather speak to someone else than to me, your own daughter. I've cried myself to sleep, wondering why you harbor such animosity towards me, why you refuse to even acknowledge my existence anymore.

But despite all the hurt and disappointment you've caused, I still cling to the hope that one day, you'll finally be there for me. That one day, you'll see me for who I am and love me unconditionally, just like in the stories.

But I've come to realize that hope can be a dangerous thing, especially when it's placed in someone who may never change. So I'm writing this letter to let you know that I no longer need to cling to that hope. I no longer need to yearn for your love and acceptance, because I've found it elsewhere.

I've found it in the woman who treated me like her own daughter, who was there for me when you weren't. I've found it in the friends who have stood by me through thick and thin. And most importantly, I've found it within myself.

I hope that I have fulfil your wished that I no longer disappoint you as I’m no longer your problem or yours’s anymore as I finally have enough courage to let go of the futile longing for your love and acceptance, and to find the strength to accept that you may never change, no matter how much I yearn for your presence in my life

So ,

this is goodbye

Sincerely,

Y/N

[chericherixo]

Quidditch [fluff]

(mattheo x reader)

Words: 752 Summary: Mattheo invites you to his game, hoping you can come and watch him in action.

You and Mattheo had been bickering all class and now you were finally released by the bell. Unfortunately, Mattheo caught up with you and re-greeted you with a stupidly cute smile.

"So.. are you going to the quidditch game tomorrow?" Mattheo asked, and you sighed and figured the easiest thing to do would be humor him.

"Oh- um, if I have the time. I have a lot schoolwork I need to catch up on."

"What if you got all your work down tonight? Then would you come?" You furrowed your brows, wondering why he cared so much that you come to the game.

"I don't know, it's supposed to be freezing and-"

"Please." His face turned serious, "I mean- You wouldn't want to miss out. It's Slytherin and Gryffindor, it'll be pretty intense." He laughed nervously.

"I'll think about it." You smiled softly,

"Ok, cool." He continues to walk with you, acting nonchalant now but seeming pleased with your response.

As you neared your common room, he waved goodbye and headed back in the direction you came from, presumably to practice down at the pitch.

------ The Next Day ------

You sat at the desk in your dorm, frustrated over an equation that should've been simple. You had been working at your school work for hours it seemed, and your lack of sleep was getting to you.

"I'm headed out! You should take a break sometime soon, yea?" Your roommate said from behind. "Maybe even go to the quidditch game? Could be fun."

"It's freezing out there," You argued,

"That's what spells and sweaters are for." You rolled your eyes and smiled,

"Just go have fun in Hogsmeade, I'll see you later." Your roommate sighed and walked out. You looked back down at the jumble of numbers and letters on your paper and felt a headache coming on. Normally you'd just take a nap for a few, but you suddenly had an overwhelming urge to go to the game.

You thought of Mattheo and the way his face lit up at the possibility of you being there. You didn't know why he seemed so desperate for you to see his game, not like you hadn't been to previous ones before.

At this, you turned off your desk lamp and walked over to find things to layer and keep out the cold.

After an efficient amount of clothing had been put on, you grabbed your hat and gloves and made your way out to the field and pitch. It was freezing, although it was kind of nice to be out of the stuffy atmosphere of your dorm. The game hadn't started yet and in fact, you made it just in time as you were quite surprised to find out.

Amongst the crowd of people in your section, you felt out of place, not having a friend to enjoy the game with you. The more crowded it became, the more you kicked yourself for coming and not using the time to study or finish an essay.

You were about to leave the stands when you saw the players flying out. One in particular was looking around the stands, and his gaze seemed to stop right at you, though he was too far to tell. But then, he gave a little wave, and when you made sure it wasn't meant for anyone else, you waved back. His shoulders raised a few times in his laughter.

Mattheo.

You smiled to yourself and reclaimed a spot in the stands, not caring about the people anymore.

You watched him intensely throughout the game, following his jersey as he played the best he ever had. After it was over, the Slytherin's had won and you cheered and ran down from the stands as quickly as you could. You didn't know what had come over you, but as soon as you were on the field, you wanted to run up and hug him and tell him how well he did. You stopped in your tracks when you saw him running at you.

He ripped off his helmet when he got close enough, revealing a wide smile that warmed your heart.

"You came."

You smiled, "Yea, I mean- I didn't have anything better to do-"

He cut you off with a hug, holding you tightly like he was going to lose you.

"I'm glad you came."

You didn't respond but hugged him back just as tight and smiled into his shoulder. Maybe you could like him just a bit if you tried.

[meguemii]

Throwing Rocks at Your Window.

Synopsis- in which you and your boyfriend satoru gojo and you have a silly argument but you have to go home quickly before saying goodbye to him and you end up getting your phone taken away for a week. Satoru shows up at your window because you haven’t been responding to his texts and calls.

Warnings- A very small cut in your forehead, nothing crazy. FLUFF AND SILLY CRY BABY GOJO.

word count- 1.8k

navigation station🚉.

gojo satoru’s playlist🎧. (kinda angsty LOL)

Emi’s notes- you guys know i literally never proofread my works. this is such an american romcom LOL.

You had been hanging out with everyone on a friday afternoon after school grabbing food and doing some shopping. It was pretty hot for a spring day and you had been talking with Shoko and Haibara about a show you guys watch. The other two were teasing Nanami about stupid stuff. After stuffing your face for 10 minutes and laughing you ass off, your throat started to get dry. Asking your oh so sweet and loving boyfriend to grab you a drink so you could keep talking with your friends. “Get it yourself you rat” he replied in a sassy tone because of course you HAD to date a sassy man. “Satoru Gojo, i’m literally be parched don’t be a jerk!” you retorted as crossed your arms with a ‘hmph’ “Yes Satoru, go get the love and light of your life a soda” Suguru mocked him. Nanami also chimed in telling Gojonto be a gentleman.Gojo rolled his eyes telling nanami to shut up and once again told you to get it yourself “stop being a lazy mole rat and get yourself a drink” he stuck his tongue out at you like a child and you rolled your eyes. “Screw you Satoru” you said slumping in your chair. “I can get you something to drink” Haibara offered and you turned him down with a smile saying it was okay.

Checking your phone as it buzzed notifying you that you had gotten a text. ‘Get your butt home!’ from your mother. “Oh here we go.” you huffed as you collected your things saying your goodbyes and that you had to go, quickly scurrying off to get home and see what your mom was mad at you for.

“Where’s she going?” Gojo asked as he watched you leave. “She’s pissed and said she didn’t want to be near you” Shoko chuckled evilly as she stirred the pot, out of love of course. Any chance to scare Gojo she would take in a heartbeat. He started to feel bad about it and texted you an apology quickly after.

You arrived home to find your parents at the kitchen table seeing a pack of smokes and a lighter laying on the table, mumbling a small “shit” under your breathe. “Y/N M/N L/N, Care to explain?” Your mother asked with a ticked off look on her face. Trying to find a million excuses in a matter of milliseconds, “They’re Ieri’s, she left them here the other day when she spent the night. I swear.” Crossing your heart hoping she’d believe your lie, as well as to try and prove your false innocence. “Grounded. Hand me your phone.” your father said flatly. “But I told you they weren’t mine!”you protested just as any teenager in trouble would. “Even if they are Ieri’s why would you let her leave them here?” your mother asked as she pinched the bridge of her nose in disappointment. “She was literally supposed to sleepover this weekend and said she’d grab them then!” another excuse, you were on a roll! “Give them back on monday. I never want to see another cigarette in this home unless it’s your father’s.” you grumbled in anger handing over your phone and retreating to your room. “I’m calling Ieri and tellingnl her your sleepover is canceled! You’re not going anywhere for a week!” you heard your mother shout from the kitchen. “Whatever!” you shouted back.

Great. Now you’d be bored all weekend without any human interaction besides speaking to your parents. Maybe you’d catch up on your actual schoolwork since you couldn’t train.

Entertaining yourself with music from your ipod, and reading all weekend. You couldn’t help but snort to yourself recalling friday afternoon and that stupid argument you had with Satoru, you wondered if he missed you or if he wondered where you’ve been all weekend as it was a sunday night.

Little did you know that he was panicked and distraught all weekend thinking you were ignoring him because you were actually mad. You guys had ‘fought’ and then you ran off and started ignoring his text messages and calls all going straight to voicemail. “C’mon Y/N pick up” he whined as he dragged out the ‘p’. “Hi this is Y/N! Can’t talk right now! Leave a message but only if it’s worth listening to!” That was literally the only thing he’s heard you say all weekend. A prerecorded message, he even called your house phone and your dad picked up saying to leave her alone which really scared him. Did you tell your parents you hated him?

He quicking dialled Suguru’s number, waiting forever for him to pick up. A groggy voice picked up the phone “Satoru it’s 11:45pm on a sunday night. what could you possibly need?” He said while yawning making it clear that he had been woken up. “Have you heard from

Y/N?” he frantically asked. “No? We never text or call, I don’t even think I have her number saved. Is that all you need? Because if so I am going back to sleep. Do not disturb my slumber again.” Satoru scoffed at Suguru’s attitude. “Okay for starters don’t be rude. Secondly she hasn’t been answering me at all this weekend and I called her home phone and her dad told me to leave her alone!” He whined, god he was such a baby. “She hates you man. Maybe you should have gotten her that drink.” he teased his crybaby friend. “Dude I’m being serious. What if she hates me and wants to break up? What do I do?” He cried out clearly scared his girlfriend *does* hate him. “I don’t know man, maybe she wants you to apologize in person. Girl’s like that romantic shit.” Gojo threw himself backwards into his bed as he sighed in frustration with himself. How could he be so stupid? All she wanted was a drink and he couldn’t even get that for her? what a joke. he thought to himself and thanked Suguru saying that was a good idea and saying a quick goodnight before hanging up and getting ready to leave.

It was around midnight and you were so close to falling asleep, to the point your music would cut out as you drifted only to snap back awake and started hearing it again and something else, sounded like something got knocked over in your room. Freaking out and sitting up while reaching to turn your lamp on, you heard it again. Something was hitting your window. Was it a curse?? Was there a curse outside of your house? You groaned in annoyance as you got up, tossing your ipod and headphones somewhere and scuffled over to check your window while pretty much tripping over your feet to see what was outside, pulling your curtains. Without actually checked you whipped your window open and yelled “are you serious right n-“ SMACK. A rock flew straight at your face and collided with your forehead. Stumbling backwards and rubbing your poor forehead, positive you had the indent of a rock there. An “Oh shit!” could be heard from outside. Of course It was your idiot boyfriend throwing rocks at your window.

Marching right back to where you were previously standing at your window. “Are you kidding me right now?!” Looking down to see the white haired teen looking up sheepishly at you. Staring down in disbelief, had he really walked to your house in the middle of the night to throw rocks at your face? “Can we talk?” he shouted up you, his face full of concern. “I wanted to apologize!” You laughed at him “You wanted to show up at my house in the middle of the night to throw a rock at my face only so you could say sorry?” you joked with him. You weren’t mad, more so amused.

“What? No! I wanted to apologize for making you hate me! I don’t want you to dump me! I should have gotten you a soda the other day, and I clearly upset you because you’re mad at me!” You paused and tried to stifle your laughter. He did this because he thought you were actually mad at him about that? ‘He’s such a poor soul’ you thought to yourself. He looked like he rushed over here, his hair was disheveled, his shoes were unlaced and he was wearing weird halloween pyjama pants. What a sight to see, if you had your phone, you’d take a photo.

“I don’t hate you and I don’t want to break up!— hold on let me come down and explain!” Quickly and quietly creeping through the halls of your home to get outside, passing your parents room you closed their door quietly. Throwing on your shoes and running outside to greet the boy, you were immediately met with a bear hug as he buried his head into the crook of your neck thanking you for not breaking up with him. You smiled and patted the back of his head while giggling. This was so funny to you.

He finally pulled away as you playfully smiled at him. “I got grounded and my parents took away my phone, that’s why I haven’t been answering you.” His mouth immediately falling into the shape of an ‘O’. “And I left because I got a text from my mom telling me to come home.” you finished your story, wasn’t a very long one but it cleared up the misunderstanding. “How long are you grounded for?” he asked, hoping you’d say only for the weekend. “A week” you sighed and hung your head low in a dramatic shame. Satoru groaned in annoyance and flicked your head. “Moron. Try not to get in trouble anymore.”

And that was that, the two of you talked as you sat in the front yard just talking and staring up at the stars. Satoru explained how he had been worried all weekend and what mental torture he had been going through. It was probably around 2am now and you had said your good nights and that you’d see each other in a few hours. “I love you Satoru.” You said as you hugged him goodnight, he kissed your forehead and said goodnight as well, adding a ‘rat’ at the end teasing you, and you stuck your tongue out watching him as he walked away waving bye to you. Smiling to yourself as you walked back into your house. Kicking your shoes off and quietly creeping back to your room, unaware your parent’s door was now open. Opening your own door to see your mother sitting on your bed with her arms crossed. “Make that 3 weeks.” you groaned and through your head back.

Bonus!

You walked into school late as you had gotten no sleep as you had gotten a lecture from your mom about sneaking out especially when you were already in trouble. The bags under your eyes looked like a literal black hole. You opened the classroom door being greeted by Yaga with a “you’re late L/N. Go sit down.” shuffling over to your seat and leaning over to Satoru’s desk you whispered “make that 3 weeks” which resulted in him standing up and frantically yelling about how that’s not fair.

WOWOWOW— WHO KNEW I WAS ACTUALLY BACK TO POSTING MORE THAN ONCE A MONTH AGAIN?!!?! me when i have time on my hands🧍‍♀️

Silly gojo, what a meanie. (¬_¬) we stan him either way. I always hope my fics are good, i haven’t written anything for gojo in a long time and i crave silly blue eyes man constantly. lmk if you wanna see more of him >w<

reblogs and comments are vv appreciated ٩( 'ω' )و

much love, emi!🩷

tags- feel free to ask to be added ! :3

@kasumitenbaz

[hellparkreimaginado]

NEXT CHAPTER

Inglés:

Craig was resting by the window of his room, calmly observing the landscape that always greeted him when he woke up. He had no worries at that moment, nothing to do, all his household chores were completed, and he had no extra schoolwork. This gave Craig plenty of time to simply watch his peaceful town from the comfort of his room. The raven-haired boy looked at the mountains beside the sun for a while, creating an image as beautiful as it was tranquil. Craig loved taking photos of landscapes like this: simple, beautiful, calming. It was everything! Sometimes, when he looked at that natural mural that was the sunset in his town, Craig couldn't help but think of his partner: Thomas Lacey. That boy with blond hair and beige eyes was the most beautiful thing Craig's young eyes had ever seen. They had been a couple for a few years, and although Thomas suffered from a peculiar condition called Tourette's, which caused, among many things, tics, spasms, and sudden outbursts, this did not matter to Craig. He loved him with all his flaws and problems. And whenever Craig brought Thomas to his house, he didn't hesitate to show him some of the photos he had taken of landscapes like the one he was seeing right now.

The raven-haired boy started to get lost in his thoughts, imagining his entire life alongside that handsome boy, imagining them in those mountains: sitting with their children, having a meal while watching the sunset from the top of that mountain. Maybe his dreams often weren't realistic, but anyone would imagine a whole life with the person they love the most if they wanted to.

As Craig continued imagining that teenage novel in his mind, he didn't notice a series of notifications coming from his phone. He was too immersed to care; after all, couldn't they give him a moment to admire the views? After about two minutes, Craig turned and glanced nonchalantly at those notifications: they were messages from Thomas, and what they said was anything but normal.

• Craig, I have to thank you for all the time you've spent by my side. No one, no one, NO ONE will love me as much as you have. YOU, you, Craig, you are the most important person in my life, the most beautiful and sincere person in the world. And I have to apologize for being so weak, for being the most useless person in the world, for... failing you. Forgive me, but I simply don't belong in this world. I deserve to die; I've only caused sadness and pain to everyone who loves me, including you. I'm not made to live; God hates me; I don't deserve to live...

• Craig, I'm the worst person there is, but I truly cherished all the time by your side. Goodbye.

Craig's heart stopped for a few seconds: his eyes widened as much as possible, his breathing sounded like something was choking him. Almost instantly, he felt a huge lump in his throat; he couldn't even say a single word.

Craig ran with the speed worthy of the Olympics towards the exit of his room. His entire family saw him run and ignored them when they tried to ask what was happening. Craig didn't even stop to look at them, opened the door of his house, and ran through the neighborhood. His beloved's house wasn't far from his; he could easily get there in a minute at the speed he was going.

But all his hopes of saving Thomas ended when he heard the thunderous sound, like a distant lightning strike. Craig fell to the ground on his knees: he couldn't even scream or make a sound of agony after hearing that noise. He knew very well where that shot had come from, he knew very well that there was nothing he could do about it now. The lump in his throat grew so large that he could almost feel like he was being choked by it. Those were agonizing seconds, the purest silence covered the entire town. The town that no more than a minute ago enjoyed the beautiful melody of birds singing, of united and happy families chatting about their lives, now everything was in the most absolute silence. There wasn't a single soul on that street, just Craig kneeling: his eyes quickly filling with tears and spreading across his forehead.

The first to break the silence was his father: Thomas Tucker.

• Craig, is everything okay!? What the hell is happening!? - said his father.

T. Tucker shook his son nervously, wanting him to say something, not understanding why he ran out of the house, but knowing very well that the distant shot had something to do with all this. But Craig still didn't say anything, he couldn't even make a sigh, much less say what had just happened. Craig remained motionless for a while, the only thing he could think of was that if he had seen his partner's message a minute earlier, all this might have happened very differently. Maybe, just maybe, Craig could have saved him. But now, now the only thing left was to go to his beloved's house.

Without even the slightest bit of hope, Craig headed to the home of what was no less than 10 minutes ago his partner. And when he saw the house open, with his mother crying inconsolably on the floor and a couple of neighbors comforting her, he understood that, indeed, his worst fear had come true. His partner, his boyfriend, his life companion, was... gone. He couldn't even look at the lifeless body of the person he loved so much. He wasn't strong enough to do it; he couldn't bear to let all his sadness out. He cried in silence as he walked towards Thomas's mother: she was simply devastated. That poor woman had to live through her husband's divorce, had to see her son humiliated for his illness over and over again, had to watch her son isolate himself from the world, and finally, had to live through the death of the only thing she had left in life.

• No~ I don't understand~ I don't understand!~ I DON'T UNDERSTAND!~ I did everything for my son~ but I didn't realize what was happening to him...~ - said that completely broken mother, with eyes that looked like dried grapes from crying so much, her voice becoming weaker and weaker the more she cried, making it increasingly difficult to understand what she was saying.

• I- I don't understand either, ma'am~ I- I loved him,~ I always tried to make his day better but~ but...~ I don't understand what I did wrong...~ - Without saying much more, the raven-haired boy hugged the mother of his deceased boyfriend; only she could understand the pain he was feeling at that moment.

• Oh, Craig~ - Mrs. Lacey closed her eyes and, still sobbing, said to Craig: - D-do you know?~ Of the few moments I remember seeing Thomas happy in these last months was when you were by his side,~ he wouldn't stop talking to me about you and everything you did together. I thought he was getting better,~ but, honestly, I don't understand what happened.~ I don't know what I did wrong~ - The inconsolable lady wiped her tears a little and then handed Craig an envelope with a blue seal.

• Here,~ T-Thomas wanted you to read this~ -

Craig inspected the envelope with his tired eyes; it was very clean and well-kept, adorned with innocent hearts on the sides that seemed to have been drawn with extremely fine and bright markers, while in the center was a blue seal and below it a message that read: "For Craig, my one and only true love." Instantly, an avalanche of emotions overwhelmed Craig. He seemed to have a nervous breakdown, a combination of sadness for knowing this was surely the last thing Thomas did in life, and massive regret for not being there for him. All those feelings that seemed to have dissipated came back, stronger this time. He tried to calm down, tried to look away, only to feel the urge to flee from that place at once. He simply didn't want to be there any longer.

Craig ran out with the envelope in one hand and wiping away the tears running down his face and extending to his neck with the other. He didn't pay attention to his family, much less to his boyfriend's mother, who was asking him to please come back. Amid many tears, Craig just hid in his room and lay down to cry in silence. Everything had happened so quickly, he was so exhausted after this horrible day. He just lay in his bed, but it was impossible for him to sleep. Hours passed, he didn't let anyone in to console him; he felt so guilty and so powerless that he didn't even have the strength to see what was in the envelope given by Thomas. It was simply too much guilt, to the point where he couldn't look anywhere but at that letter he couldn't even open.

And as the hours passed, the only thing Craig heard was the sound of a gunshot in the distance... It was the only thing he could hear inside his head for hours.

[hyperfixatedoncrimminalminds]

Hi, can you do a Spencer Reid x daughter!reader. She has ADHD and she's been hyper focused on her work. She hasn't had a break, so Spence has to force her to have a break/rest. They watch the doctor who for the rest of the night, maybe? Thank you, if you do write this! xx

Spencer Reid X Teen ADHD daughter reader

Request : Hey can you do a Spencer Reid x daughter!reader. She has ADHD and she's been hyper focused on her work. She hasn't had a break, so Spence has to force her to have a break/rest. They watch the doctor who for the rest of the night, maybe?

Third person pov...

Spencer Reid had always been an amazing father. While he was often focused on his work as an agent with the BAU, he had plenty of time and energy left over to devote to his daughter Y/N but lately, Spencer had noticed something different in his daughter's behavior.

The teen had been more focused on her schoolwork than ever before, and he could see that it was taking a toll on her. She had been snapping more than usual at him and it felt like there had been a heavy weight in the Reid household.

Currently he was on his way out the door to work but took a detour to his daughters room, rhe man poked his head into his daughters room to say goodbye when he saw how tired she was, the teen had passed out at her desk.

Her usual happy smiling face full of life now looks like a corpse he sees while on a case, she had large purple bags under her eyes body slouched, her books stacked left and right with notebooks and pens out, she had about 6 empty cups sitting around her.

Spencers heart pains at the state his daughter was in, tiptoeing the Agent wlaks over to his sleeping daughter grabs a blanket from her made bed and gently drapes it over her slumped shoulders.

He then kissed her head and walked out of the room, he had to do something to get her to relax from her studies, as proud as he was he wanted her to be healthy.

He knew she hadn't been sleeping, currently she was studying for the entrance exams for medical school, since she was young Y/N wanted to help people like her dad.

Of course Spencer knew she could do it but you always need a break even he does sometimes, with Y/N on his mind the Agent leaves the house and gets to work.

He sighs as he puts his bag down on his chair hoping the case is local this time, the man then slouched in his chair, behind him his team watch their resident Genius.

JJ, Derek and Emily all shared concerned looks, Spencer wasn't usually that tired or sighed that loud when he gets to work, so it must of been something not work related.

Not even 5 minutes later Derek, Emily and JJ are surrounding his desk, Derek puts his arm on Spencers chair making the man look up at his team, Emily stands in front while JJ stands behind next to Derek.

"Hey guys" he says, this gets a worried look from JJ while Emily and Derek watched.

"Okay what's up Spence you look depressed" Says JJ asking thr question they all wanted to know, Derek shakes Spences shoudlers and the man answers her.

"It's Y/N" he mutters, Emily then slams her hand on the table. "Hold up what about N/N is my god daughter okay!" She exclaims making the Dad laugh.

It was a happy lesson laugh more like he a he exhaled than a laugh, but still it got the attention of thr others.

Of course his daughter was loved amongst the team. "You know she's been busy studying for her exams to get into medical school" he says the guys nod their heads.

"Well im worried, she hasn't been her self lately, she's been snapping at me, and spends every second studying not sleeping, this morning I saw her passed out she looked like a corpse, what do I do?" He says voice in pain at the state of his daughter.

JJ, Emily and Derek all give the young man sympathetic looks as he pours out everything that he's bottled up for weeks. JJ then puts a hand on his shoulder making the genius look up.

"Well Spence, you could do something together that you both love,that might get Y/N to relax" says JJ, suddenly the man is sitting up.

"That's a great idea JJ!" He exclaims smiling larger than ever, suddenly Hotch can be heard from the round table. "We've got a case!" Yells Boss man, the four agent then get ready to leave.

Once the case was solved Spencer had a plan, it was the weekend and he didn't have work so he decided to set up a movie weekend.

He and Y/N would watch Dr who together as it was their favourite show to watch since Y/N was a baby, they always had fun rewatching it and jsut having fun like a normal father and daughter.

That Saturday morning he set his paln in to action, the genius had coaxed Y/N to take a break from her studies, and he had a surprise lined up.

He and Y/N had both always been Doctor Who fans, and he proposed a warm and cozy night in watching the show together.

At first, Y/N seemed too tired to focus on anything besides her work. But as the show went on, Spencer could see the tension slowly starting to diminish from his daughter's face.

By the end, Y/N looked more relaxed than she had in weeks. They even ended up having a lively discussion about the plot points and character arcs as they finished the episode.

After that night, Spencer tried to make it a point to have more fun, family-oriented activities with his daughter. Even if it was hard to pull her away from her studies, forcing her to take a break and enjoy Doctor Who together was the perfect reminder that even overwhelmed students need a little break.

Once that fun weekend was over Y/N was alot more relaxed and let her Dad help her study for the exams, he always made her get more sleep and have fun with him, now they always have a daily weekend movie marathon if Spencer does have a case.

The end!

Hope you liked this oneshot!

Request are open!

Word count: 1052

[twit-ter-pa-ted]

Hey! could you write a Nami X Fem!reader, who grew up together, but haven't seen each other since nami left? And maybe she has to introduce this person to the crew? but this said person, still has feeling for nami?

do whatever ending you want :)

Say Don't Go

pairing: Nami x f!Reader

warnings: a sprinkle of angst, characters have both opla and animanga features (generalized!)

a/n: sorry it took a while, anon! i haven't been able to write since i'm drowning in schoolwork. still, i very much enjoyed writing this piece!

It had been eight long years since you last saw Nami.

You refused to.

Whenever she would have the audacity to be the one to collect the monthly tribute of Coco Village, you would remain in your hut – watching as her eyes scanned the scowling crowd, as if searching for a welcoming face in the sea of despising looks that greeted her arrival.

She would leave with the tribute under her arm and her head hung as she walked out of the village.

You could hear mutters of the villagers, not even bothering to wait until the redhead was out of earshot before they started talking about the nerve she had to show up here.

Still, the utters didn't cause Nami to falter. It stopped working on her long ago.

Before she joined the Arlong Pirates, you, Nami, and Nojiko had been peas in a pod. You may as well have been Bellemere's third daughter, with how much you hung out with the sisters.

They had both been great influences in your life up to that point, so imagine your surprise when Nami decided to join her foster mother's killers and village captors without explanation or hesitation.

Even then, at the start of it all, you didn't bid her goodbye in the form of a flare with enough venom in your eyes to kill a herd of elephants, just as the village had when she left with the Arlong Pirates.

Still, you couldn't ever admit that you hated her, despite what she did. You couldn't ever admit to anyone else either why that was the case.

The truth was that you never found yourself viewing Nami as a sister. Sure, considering you were youngest between the three of you, you considered her your role model, but not as a sister.

Your feelings confused you.

Most especially when her band of pirates went and defeated Arlong, revealing in the process that Nami had been working to buy your town back for the past eight years.

That was when you first faced her again – as she returned to the village with her friends.

Her eyes went wide as saucers as she called your name and your heart dropped to join the butterflies in your stomach.

You stood mere steps away from each other, both not knowing what to do.

Nami couldn't read you from the expression you gave her. Figuring that you still resented her, her eyes fell to the ground.

Then she felt your embrace again for the first time in eight years. That same warm embrace you used to give that would instantly drive away her sorrow and her tears.

"Nami, I'm sorry." You replaced her sorrow with relief, but now it was you who cried against her shirt.

Nami chuckled as tears threatened to fall from her eyes. "What are you sorry for, silly?"

"I jus – I coul – I couldn't face you for eight years and – " You stammered endlessly through sobs, not even caring that the whole village was seeing you be as vulnerable as you always were with Nami.

"I couldn't even hate you but I also couldn't like you and I just – "

Everything was silent for a moment. Then she called your name, and you lifted your head to finally look at her.

She couldn't help but chuckle as she wiped at your damp cheeks.

"It's over now," she reminded. "You're okay. You're free."

"We're free."

Silence fell once again, only for it to be quickly broken.

"Nami, look!" The one who had beaten Arlong boomed, sitting in front of Genzo who sat on a tree trunk. "I had pops do the chopsticks-nose thing!"

Genzo faced them while Luffy chuckled with his whole chest, the General looking puzzled as if he didn't know how a pair of chopsticks ended up comically stuck up his nostrils.

"Luffy!" Nami's eyes widened as she started walking towards them to scold the rubber man.

It was your turn to be bewildered when a blonde man in a suit and a cigarette between his lips approached you suddenly, a green-haired man and a boy with a long nose only a few steps behind him.

He took the cigarette from his lips and took yout hand in his free hand to bring it to his lips.

"Good day, mademoiselle, it seems I failed to be graced by your beauty when we – "

"Why did Luffy have to pick the most gallant, idiot cook to join?" The green-haired man had started talking in the middle of Sanji's statements.

" – first set foot in this village. I don't believe we've met, you can call me Sanji – shut it, Moss Head," Sanji spat in retaliation.

"Hey, don't go starting another fight again or I might have to round the pair of you up myself," the boy with the bandana around his head declared as he stepped between the cook and the swordsman.

Still, the pair only actually stopped glaring at each other when Nami had returned with her own scolding gaze. "Guys, stop it."

Nami joined your side again, the straw hat no longer on her head. "Sorry, Luffy was messing with Genzo."

She placed a hand on your shoulder as she faced the crew. "Guys, this is my…"

You introduced yourself, glancing at Nami who still seemed hesitant. "I'm Nami's friend."

You looked at her with a reassuring smile which wiped away her anxiour look.

"This is Sanji, as you already know, the Moss Head is Zoro – "

Zoro closed his eyes and shook his head. "Don't start."

Nami ignored him. "This is Usopp, and the idiot who beat Arlong is Luffy, their captain."

Nami then looked at the crew with a look as if she had said something wrong. "Our captain."

You looked at her. ""Our?""

She looked at you for a few seconds as if calculating her next words. She hummed in affirmation, though the noise came out sounding anxious. "I'm coming with them."

"But…you just got back." You forced a chuckle. It had to be some prank, right?

The Straw Hats quickly read the tension and slowly departed from their earshot. Nojiko ushered the other villagers as well, ignoring complaints from the Straw Hat Captain she had ushered along.

"You can't leave, our village's been saved. You can live here again, live with me…" You realized what you said last minute and your voice faded.

"And Nojiko, and Genzo, and everyone else," you quickly added. "You don't have to leave."

"I do," she insisted.

"Why?"

She exhaled sharply, as if she had to force herself to say it – "Because I have a new dream, now that the village has been freed."

You waited for her to continue. You expected her to, refusing not to get closure again before she left you again.

"I want to draw a map of the world. Not for anyone else this time, but for myself. I can't accomplish that by staying here."

You knew she was right. You know you were in no position to keep her from achieving her dream, and you know you couldn't prevent her from leaving – even if you…

"You can't go, I – " you stopped.

Now it was her turn to wait for you to continue.

You closed your eyes and shook your head. "Nevermind, just…go."

You turned on your heels and began to leave her.

"No."

You stopped in your tracks.

"Don't let it end like this again. Please." You heard her voice break, and you tried not to let it affect you, but you knew you couldn't prevent it.

You opened your mouth to speak, your back still facing her, though it took you a while to actually speak.

"I love you."

"I love you, too." It took too fast for her to reply. It was obvious she hadn't realized what you meant.

You shook your head again and turned to face her. "No, Nami, I'm in love with you."

You couldn't tell when you figured out what it was that you felt for her. Maybe you always knew. Maybe you just figured it out when she was about to leave you for the second time.

You had never heard silence quite this loud. It was almost painful how she said nothing back for the longest time – so painful that you almost wish you hadn't seen her before she left you again.

"I love you, too," she only repeated what she had said the first time. You knew it didn't hold the same meaning this time – she loved you, too.

No other words were exchanged afterwards. You turned on your heels again and began walking back home.

* * * * * *

The Straw Hats resided in the village for a few days before they readied themselves to set sail again. It gave you time to make up for what you lost with Nami.

You and Nami sat on the bench by Bellemere's grave on her last day before she departed.

She had gotten her Arlong tattoo removed and replaced it with a windmill and tangerine tattoo as a tribute and a remembrance of her hometown as she travelled the seas.

You traced the new tattoo with your fingers, looking at the tattoo with fascination.

Nami looked at you, feeling your golden ray touch on her arm as you took in the details of her tattoo.

"Can't you come with me?" Nami offered.

You stared blankly at her for a few seconds. Then, you shook your head.

"I don't want to become a sailor, much less a pirate."

Nami laughed. "Do you still get seasick by the shore?"

"It's not something you grow out of." You shared her laughter as she leaned into you, fixing your hair.

You stared deep into each other's eyes as your laughter died down, a frown now on Nami's lips. "I don't want to leave you."

You didn't want her to, either, but you couldn't say that. You had to let her reach for her dream without feeling guilty for leaving you.

You lifted your hands to her face and pinched her cheeks into a smile, until it turned into a genuine one. "I'll wait."

You smiled back at her.

Her hand fell to your chin as she lifted it to connect your lips together. Sparks flew as you kissed – as you said goodbye and locked in your promise to one day meet again.

You soon parted with a smile on both of your lips. "Go."

"You're not even gonna show me out?" She teased.

"Unless you want to leave with sick all over your pretty new dress, pretty girl, it's recommended that I don't," you retorted.

She chuckled. "I'll miss you." She threw her arms around you for one last embrace.

"I'll miss you too."

[mystic-writings]

remember the nights | chapter four — the willow tree

WORD COUNT — 2,390

WARNINGS — talk of parental death and parental abandonment, cheating, and divorce

NOTES — god i love this chapter with everything i have i'm not kidding

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Since your first ‘official’ group hang out last Friday, you’d nearly been jumping at any opportunity to hang out with the group. Sure, when you read into it it sounded borderline creepy, but you couldn’t help it. You’d never had that much fun with your friends before, even in the city, where pretty much anything and everything was at your fingertips. 

You could only compare it to the high you felt the first time you’d ever watched a musical in a theater. You were a freshman at the time, and your dad surprised you with tickets by calling you out of school in the middle of the day. You’d never forget the magical, light feeling that filled your chest throughout the show, watching everything happen all at once and so quickly, admiring the performer’s work in real time. It had been such a rush that, for the following four days, everything felt dull, and all you wanted was to relive that night over and over again for the rest of your life. 

Today was Thursday, and although everyone would be hanging out again tomorrow at Mickey’s, some of the group had decided to hang out at the park again, anyway. All of you did have some form of curfew for weeknights, so it would be bordering on sunset when you would meet at the park, before one by one, you’d all have to head home at one time or another. 

When you’d left school, it was agreed — everyone would meet at 6pm by the gate. But as you got home, and the evening crept onward to the time you were supposed to leave, the texts began trickling in, and before you knew it, almost everyone had canceled. Whether it was family obligations, chores, or — in Harriet and Sonya’s case — couple time to themselves, everyone who was involved in the initial plan had canceled, aside from Newt. 

Not long after the final cancellation text came through — Minho, saying that his parents had family coming into town and needed to help get the house ready — your phone began to ring from its place on your bed, where you sat writing the last few sentences of your history homework. 

You pushed the textbook and workbook from your lap, reaching for the phone only to see that Newt’s contact was the one lighting up your screen. You prepared for another cancellation excuse before pressing the bright green ‘accept’ button and holding the phone to your ear. “What’s up?”

Newt’s voice filtered through the speaker almost immediately. “We’re still hanging out tonight, right?”

“Yeah, we are,” you said, “but it’s just gonna be us, if that’s alright. Literally everyone else canceled.” 

“Really?” Newt asked, and you muttered a confirmation in response. 

You sighed, leaning back on your bed frame. “I know we were supposed to go to the park, but Minho has the key, so… is there anywhere else you’d wanna hang out?”

“Actually, yeah,” Newt replied. “I’ll be there to pick you up soon, yeah? Half an hour.”

“Got it.” You nodded. “Half an hour.”

With Newt’s final goodbye, you picked your book back up and finished off what little you had left of your history homework. As you did though, you thought about spending time with Newt, just Newt, and how you haven’t had the chance to do so since he gave you the tour of the school. The thought seemed to bring an untameable smile to your face. 

By the time Newt’s car appeared in the driveway, and Newt at the front door, you had packed all your schoolwork away, pushed your hair back (after attempting four different styles), and grabbed a hoodie to wear. Whatever makeup you’d put on at the beginning of the day was mostly worn off now, and you didn’t see a point in reapplying anything, because as long as your mascara and eyeliner weren’t majorly smudged, you were okay with how it looked. 

Newt came in after you greeted him at the door, giving you time to gather up what you needed to and to slip your shoes on, and he talked with Maggie and your dad as they watched a movie in the living room. When you finally stepped out of the house, the sky was painted with an array of oranges, fading into various pinkish red tones, and finally, a beautiful purple that got deeper and more rich the higher in the sky it went. 

“So, what are we doing tonight?” You asked as Newt reversed out of the driveway. 

“I was thinking we’d grab some food from Mickey’s and hang out over on the field by the school?” Newt suggested, turning onto the main road. “Nothing extreme, y’know? We have all night tomorrow to do that.”

You nodded and told him that it was a great idea, looking out the window as he drove. It was getting visibly darker with every passing moment, and the lights on Newt’s dash and radio were glowing a bluish green when he parked in front of the diner. When you stepped out, you were met with a subtle breeze, which was quickly overtaken by the warmth of the diner. 

It was quiet inside, with only a few straggling patrons scattered around. Mickey greeted you both at the counter with his usual bright smile as you sat on the stools, ready to order. “Aren’t you two supposed to be here tomorrow?”

“Yeah, but you know me, Mickey.” Newt smiled cheekily. “I just can’t get enough of your amazing food.”

Mickey laughed before taking your orders — you, another loaded burger meal and double chocolate milkshake, and Newt, a crispy chicken burger and vanilla milkshake. Newt ended up paying for the food, but only after you argued about it and settled on you paying for his food tomorrow. 

You admired the retro style of the diner as you sat and waited for your food to arrive, noticing all of the pictures on the walls, the vintage clocks, and achievements the establishment had seemed to receive over the many years it’d been running. Through the order window, though, you noticed a boy your age, frying up your burger. 

Newt seemed to read your mind and follow your line of sight, because not long after you noticed the boy, he told you, “That’s Frypan.” 

“Hmm?”

“The cook, back there.” Newt explained. “His real name’s Siggy, but everyone calls him Fry or Frypan. Even his parents, and Mickey. Frypan’s Mickey’s grandson.”

You only nodded, waving at Frypan along with Newt when he caught sight of you and smiled politely. Once Frypan was done with your orders, he bagged them up and brought it over to you at the counter. 

“What’s up, Newt?”

“Hey, Fry,” Newt said, scratching at the back of his neck. “Things good?”

“Yep,” Frypan nodded, handing over the bag of takeout, before looking over to you. 

You smiled at him again and said, “I’m Y/n. Thomas’... step-sister? I think.”

Frypan laughed and nodded, his smile wider than before. “Nice to meet you, Y/n.”

“I think step-sister’s the right word,” Newt said. “Tommy told us about her, remember?”

“I remember,” Frypan nodded as he leant against the counter. “Said a lot about you when you guys would hang out and stuff. Didn’t you get him lost in Times Square once or something?”

You scoffed out a laugh. “I think he got that story mixed up. He was the one who got us lost. Dumbass thought he could get us around New York without a map because he’d been there a few times before. And he didn’t even go to Times Square any of those times, by the way.”

Both boys laughed at your retelling of the story as you smiled, watching Mickey place two to-go cups next to the bag of food. “There y’all go. I’ll see y’all tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow, guys. See you later, Fry.” Newt nodded, waving goodbye before standing and grabbing the bag of food. 

You waved the pair goodbye happily as you grabbed the drinks and slid out of the stool, following Newt out the door, blinds clanking on the door behind you, and back into the car. The sky had darkened exponentially since you’d been inside, and the brief breeze you felt when you arrived had taken a more permanent residence in the air, cooling your skin. 

As Newt headed over to the school, staying on the main road, you snacked on fries from the bag that rested on your lap. A song filtered through the speakers, muffled by the static of a distant radio tower, and dim street lamps lit the way for you. You would’ve been perfectly content simply sitting in the car and driving around until curfew, but Newt had other plans. 

He parked in the school parking lot, in one of the spaces closest to the field. It was unusual to see the parking lot empty, to see the school devoid of light and students lingering around. You and Newt stepped out of the car, and you followed him as he rounded the back, opening the trunk and pulling a thin blanket from it before heading out to the field, blanket tucked under one arm, a milkshake in hand and the bag of food in the other. 

Soon, one milkshake became two, along with a heavy bag filled with food, and you ended up handling a minor juggling act while Newt laid out the blanket at the base of the willow tree he pointed out to you on the first day. When he was done, he took his milkshake and the bag of food from you, allowing you to sit next to him on the blanket while he sorted out the food. 

For a little while, there was nothing but the sound of the wildlife at night while you enjoyed your food together. This, however, gave your mind time to wind down several paths of thought, and it didn’t take you long to put your burger back in its wrapper and face the blond to your left. 

“Why doesn’t Sonya have an accent?”

“What?” Newt asked, still chewing his food. 

“You have an accent.” You stated. “And Sonya’s only a year younger than you, so she should have an accent, too, right? But she doesn’t, so, why not?”

Newt swallowed his food, took a sip of his milkshake, and cleared his throat before speaking. “We moved here from London when we were pretty young. I was eight, and Sonya was almost seven. Small town people can be quite… harsh, but I didn’t quite mind what the kids in school were saying about how we talked. Sonya did, though. I guess kids in her grade were harsher toward her. Anyway, she started to train her voice to sound American, and now she doesn’t have an accent.” 

All you could think of to respond was nod. It seemed like a simple enough answer, despite how heartbreaking it really was, and so you left it at that and went back to eating your burger. No more conversation occurred between the two of you until you were cramming the empty wrappers and fry containers into the takeout bag. 

“Why’s your dad marrying Maggie?” 

Confused, your face scrunched as you looked at Newt. 

“You got to ask a question, so now I’m asking one.” Newt shrugged. “So, why’s your dad marrying Maggie?” After a moment, it seemed like Newt realized what kind of question he’d asked. “If you don’t want to answer, you don’t have to. I’m just curious.”

“No, no it’s fine.” You assured him, taking a deep breath. “It’s not his first marriage, or anything like that. And my mom wasn’t some horrible, evil woman he was just dying to get away from, either. He loved her. A lot. They met when they were teenagers and everything. She was a ballerina. A really beautiful one, too.” You explained. “When I was about seven, though, she got diagnosed with breast cancer. I can barely remember it anymore, but I know she was a great mom, and a great wife. She died when I was ten. Maggie’s the first woman I’ve met that’s been able to make my dad laugh like my mom used to.” 

Newt stayed silent for a few moments, the heavy atmosphere you brought to the conversation settling in your chests. He picked at a loose thread in the blanket before speaking. “I wish my mum could find someone like that.”

“Why?” You asked, your voice soft. “What happened to your dad?”

“He’s an asshole,” Newt snapped, tilting his head all the way back to look at the pieces of sky that poked through the leaves, leaning on his elbows for support. “He moved us halfway across the world, away from my mum’s family, away from her whole bloody life, for a job offer, only to quit and chase some bleach blonde woman who’s half his age to Florida and mail my mum divorce papers. He didn’t even have the decency to sign them in person.”

The anger and resentment Newt held for his father was clear in his tone, rolling off his words in harsh waves. 

Hesitantly, you placed a hand over Newt’s twisting your body to fully face him. “You’re right, Newt. Your dad is an asshole. And he missed out on watching you grow up, on seeing you turn into one of the kindest, most caring people I’ve ever met. But that just means that you didn’t need him to be the person you are today.”

Though Newt’s eyes remained on the sky, you could see tears gathering along his waterline, the gleam of the stars reflecting within them. For a moment, you both stayed that way, until Newt shifted and pulled your body into his, arms wrapping around your neck as he gripped you in a tight hug. You wrapped your arms around his torso, pulling him a little closer. The heavy atmosphere felt a little lighter, now, and you did, too, knowing that something between you and Newt had shifted, that you knew each other better now. 

After the mood lifted, you both finished your drinks and laid back on the thin, cold blanket, hands on your stomachs as you talked and looked at the sky through the drooping curtains of the willow tree’s leaves.

series masterlist: @heliads @ghostofscarley @badbatch-simp24 @virginia-peters @third-broparcelicito @lamolaine (open!)

[skzcollision]

churchboy!felix x afab!reader (3/7)

| 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 |

genre: fluff, smut, teen angst

synopsis: certain expectations come with being a pastor’s daughter. in everyone’s eyes you are a properly behaved girl, albeit rather timid. according to your parents, you aren’t as devoted to the church as you should be. they entrust you to an old family friend’s son, deeming him to be a good influence. these circumstances bring you two closer together and stir up all kinds of emotions.

MINORS DNI

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Ever since that day in the lake, Felix has slowly been distancing himself from you.

He has cancelled on you several times now—apologizing over the phone about how he’s swamped with schoolwork and studying for finals or that he has plans with his family, a myriad of excuses really.

Trying to be understanding of his dilemma, you have yet to properly confront him about it. While it hurts to be avoided by him, you can’t help but blame it all on yourself. After all, you were the one constantly trying to push things further with him. Maybe he felt pressured by you. Maybe he thought you as corrupt.

Before you know it, graduation day rolls around and things are still tense. You get more and more restless every time you see him. Felix is always surrounding himself with others. Although people have always just been naturally drawn to him, he is never alone and it seems like a deliberate choice. He hasn’t so much as glanced in your direction. It’s as if nothing had transpired between you two.

When he eventually saunters off to the restroom on his own after the ceremony, you take this chance to ambush him. You silently follow him inside and lock the door behind you.

His confused expression turns to one of surprise when he whips his head around to see you there. “What are you doing here?” He asks, voice low and panicked. This is the first time he has looked at you in weeks.

“So it’s like that?” You say, sounding more hurt than you intended. “We’re just- you’re never gonna speak to me again?”

His initial shock falls away, replaced by a look of remorse. You try to mentally prepare yourself for whatever it is he has to say; that it had all been a mistake. That you should part ways from now on. It’s over, goodbye.

A lump forms in your throat and there’s a familiar stinging in the back of your eyes. You contemplate walking away from him before he sees you break down.

Felix steps closer—then in a blink of an eye he has you wrapped around in his arms. Your breath shudders, and you pause briefly before clutching onto him, his grip on you tightening. You embrace passionately as he apologizes over and over again in your ear.

“I didn’t plan to ignore you for this long, I just- I got scared… scared of what I’ll do, because- I started having all these thoughts about you that I shouldn’t and...” He rambles frantically, a hand coming to stroke the back of your head. “You make it hard for me to contain myself.”

A wave of relief washes over you, and warm tears spring to your eyes. “So don’t.” You say, turning your head, your lips touching the skin just below his jaw.

“I…” He nuzzles further into you, groaning against your hair. “I want you so badly, you don’t even know.”

“You have me,” you assure him, voice just above a whisper. You begin pressing open-mouthed kisses along his neck, each nibble leaving a wet trail behind.

A whimper slips past his lips, knees buckling for a moment. Then as if yanked like a puppet on a string, he straightens up, holding you still in his hands. “Please…” Felix breathes out slow, closing his eyes. He rests his forehead against yours. “I’m trying to be good.”

Your fingers thread through his hair, lightly pulling his head back. “Then be good for me.” You beg, gently nipping at his lips, desperate for him to touch the part of you that aches. “Give into me…”

He pants softly, composing himself the best he can before pulling you away from him. Your eyes are wet as you look up at him in anticipation. He’s pink in the face, staring at you with a certain intensity that resembles anger.

“Meet me in the garden,” is all he says to you before he’s unlocking the door of that restroom and walking out.

Now rid of the cap and gown everyone has been donning all evening, you find Felix outside in a simple, navy suit. In that moment under the golden cast of the setting sun, you think to yourself that this is the most handsome he has ever looked.

You’ve also stripped out of that ensemble, revealing a dress that had entirely been your mother’s choice, nearly the same shade as the salmon you had a couple nights ago.

“Hi,” you say, approaching him warily.

His dark, tender eyes behold you in a way that immediately renders you shy and vulnerable. There is a long pause of silence before he’s finally crossing over to you, hands cupping your jaw. He plants a firm kiss on your lips, savouring the softness of your mouth and not really moving much. It has you keening against him, sufficiently teased and pleading for more.

He then grasps the back of your neck, somewhat aggressive but still gentle, tilting his head to the side to deepen your connection. It’s a little sloppy, both of your inexperience showing, but the passion behind every motion makes up for it. Hands run up and down his chest, your small whimpers being swallowed up by him as he slips his tongue into your mouth.

You prolong pulling away for air despite your protesting lungs, desperate to stay attached to each other. Both of your chests are heaving once you do, lips pink and swollen.

His hand is on your wrist, taking you with him to a bench behind the storage shed, concealing you both from anyone who decides to come down to the garden.

“You had no idea how stressed I was,” you chide, tipping your head back when he tries to lean in for more kisses. “I thought… I thought you didn’t want to see me anymore.”

His expression softens as he takes your face in his hands, thumbs rubbing slow circles on your cheeks. “Do you really think I enjoyed being apart from you? Of course not.” He inches closer to you, lips almost brushing against yours as he speaks. “I’m never going to leave your side again. I promise. Okay?”

And because you were never really planning on holding a grudge against him, you nod, closing the gap between you and capturing his lips with yours. He inhales deeply through his nose, head swaying back and forth as he kisses you with much fervour. You’re both already getting better at this.

WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT

You grow more and more delirious with each press of his lips, his soft grunts of gratification igniting something in you. Your insatiable need to be closer to him outweighs any rational thought and you throw your leg over his.

Immediately, his hand seizes your thigh, pulling you onto him. You are pleasantly surprised with the way he’s responding to you now. That time away from you must have been harder for him than you thought, and only served to make him want you more. It is as if he went without food for days, and he’s having his fill now.

Breaking away from his lips, you adjust yourself on his lap so that you are properly straddling him. He screws his eyes shut as you move onto him, something firm colliding with the sensitive flesh between your thighs. Breathy moans linger in the heated space between the two of you.

“You okay?” You ask, eyes filled with concern.

“Y- Yeah, just…” His hands dig into your hips, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “D- Don’t move so much.”

A devilish smile stretches across your face. “Like this?” You tease, shifting forward and bucking your hips against him.

His head falls back, and deep, raspy groans tumble out of his parted lips.

No. You were wrong earlier. He is the most handsome right now. The pure delight on his face; nose scrunching in the most adorable way.

He finally opens his eyes, only to glare at you—the most he can manage at this moment.

A low chuckle rumbles in your throat, and you slowly trace a line down his neck. “What kind of thoughts do you have about me?” You ask, more seriously now.

His face gets so red at the bluntness of your question and you almost laugh. “Well,” he gulps as his gaze falls away. “I think about… touching… you…” He trails off, too humiliated to continue.

Your fingers graze his jaw, and you smile a little too innocently for what you’re about to ask him. “What if… you just show me?”

He sighs through his nose, timid eyes travelling down your body. “I- I don’t know how.”

You take one of his hands from your waist, eyes never straying from his as you place it over your crotch.

“Go on,” you nod, writhing impatiently on his lap.

His brows furrow in concentration, unsure fingers stroking you through your underwear. He glances at your face often to gauge your reaction.

Clumsiness aside, you find pleasure in the unpredictability of his slow and tentative movements—a touch very different from your own.

You sigh, jerking excitedly against his hand. This only spurs him on. A wanton moan rises from your throat when his hand slides past your underwear, slim fingers spreading and exploring your warmth. A familiar feeling builds at your centre. “Keep touching there,” you gasp as he nudges against the hood of your clit.

“Wow… you’re, um…” He clears his throat, fingers gliding through your arousal. “You’re really… really wet, is this normal?” He speaks quickly, undoubtedly feeling awkward about the sudden turn of events.

You laugh breathily at how clueless he is. “It just means I’m very aroused. It’s normal, don’t worry.”

His lips tug into a nervous smile. “Does it feel okay?”

You nod, leaning forward to kiss him. Words of praise are whispered to him each time you separate. “Put your fingers inside.” Your voice is ironically sweet, despite how crude your request sounds.

He pauses abruptly. “W- What? Why?”

“Please…” You whine, rolling your hips so that the tips of his fingers catch your entrance.

Felix looks up at you with wide, mystified eyes. “But tha- that’s… won’t it- won’t that hurt?”

“I’ll be okay.” You mumble reassuringly, hips sinking down slightly.

His fingers meet you halfway, and he watches your face with wonder. You whimper as two of his digits ascend into you. He’s hesitant when met with a bit of resistance, so you take care of the rest, grinding further down onto his knuckles. The stretch leaves you a little lightheaded.

“Still okay?” He checks with you again, his hand stilling beneath you.

“Mhm,” you stuff your crimson face into his neck, reeling from the intensity of it all. “Do you want me to touch you too?” Your hand lowers onto the front of his trousers.

Alarmed by the sudden pressure, his other hand quickly moves on top of yours. “You don’t have to.”

Your breath comes out in harsh puffs against his jugular. “I want to.”

His thumb strokes the back of your hand. “You just- you seem overwhelmed. Are you sure you’re okay?”

You lift up from him, desperate for some friction. “Felix, I’m fine.” Your hand comes to grab his wrist, guiding him, helping him set the pace you like. “Curl your fingers a little.”

He catches on quickly and so you let go, hooking your arm around his neck. Your hips swing forward and back to meet him, mewling against his ear every time the palm of his hand makes contact with your sensitive bud.

The drag of his fingers makes your head spin; miles better than when you do it yourself. It‘s enough to erase any remaining bitterness you had towards him for acting like you didn't exist these past few weeks. Enough to make you forget even your own name for a moment.

It’s almost as if you blacked out.

Your release comes quicker and harder than it ever has, his shoulder muffling your euphoric screams. He’s pressing kisses to your temples, holding you and stroking your back as you tremble from the aftershocks of your orgasm.

You laugh shakily to yourself. Felix can be slow at times, especially at understanding some of your jokes—but he’s a fast learner when it comes to things like this. It makes sense, considering how attentive he is in general. Always willing to learn.

He says your name. “You okay?” His brown eyes are soft, fixated on you with concern.

“M’okay.” You hum blissfully and press a wet kiss on his lips, whimpering against him as he carefully retracts his fingers from you.

Felix marvels at you as you take those fingers into your mouth, sucking your essence off of him. His curiosity quickly dissolves into desire and he crashes his lips onto yours, hungrily licking into your mouth. Just as he’s getting you worked up all over again, you both hear someone yell out your name.

It’s your mother.

“Shit,” you mutter, separating from Felix.

He sits up quickly, eyes going wide. Your legs are shaking when you scramble off of his lap and onto your feet.

“What do we do?”

You peek out from the corner of the shed. Your mother is standing on one of the paths not too far away, her round back turned to you.

“Uh, go ahead from this side. I’ll talk to her.”

He nods, not leaving before laying a quick peck on your lips. As soon as he starts up on the rear path towards the building, you fix your dress and hair, coming out of your hiding.

“Mom?”

She spins around, and her face is livid. Like an animal in danger, you freeze on the spot as she stalks towards you. “Is it true? What they’re saying around school?”

You only stare, dumbfounded.

“Have you been sleeping with Felix?”

Your blood runs cold. “What? I- I…”

Before you can say any more, her hand collides with your cheek—hard. Your head snaps to the side, tears welling up from the impact.

⭒

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| taglist: @moasworld @beautifulixr @vixensss |