#i have so much more to say which will likely go in a spot

[kenntolog]

𝝑𝝔 an: soooo i hope u like this!! read more here!!

cool boyfriend sukuna, who lives with his older brother jin and his little nephew yuuji, bringing you home for the first time since you started dating.

he was always reluctant about you meeting his family because he knows they will make a fuss about it and overall sukuna hates it when people pry into his personal life, which is what they usually do.

of course, jin itadori has noticed that he’s been absent — coming home from university to change and then leave or sometimes just not being home until late night — and has made sure that he isn’t hanging around with druggies or something like that like the responsible adult he is(he just annoyed sukuna into saying ‘fuckin’ hell, i’m not into drugs, i’m just hanging out with my girl!’ while yuuji makes sound effects for the drama of it).

so it’s not long before sukuna finally tells you to get ready to come over to his place. the excited squeal you let out makes his ears bleed, but it’s okay, he thinks with a small smile as he stares up at your window from below your building and waits for you to call him a little later so he can pick you up. he waits for you dutifully and you don’t disappoint him when you come out of your block; looking like an angel sent from above in your white sundress and pretty hair and soft makeup.

he can’t stop his lips from stretching wider as you shyly approach him, looking at him with an expectant gaze, waiting for him to say something.

“aren’t you all dolled up and pretty. ‘s that for me or my brother?” he teases, keeping his hand in his pocket to not ruffle your neatly straightened hair.

he doesn’t expect an answer but you still surprise him, holding onto his shoulders to peck his cheek softly and then move to his ear to whisper, “for you, ‘kuna~”

sukuna sucks in a breath and closes his eyes for a second, contemplating whether he still wants to go to the dinner or push you back into your room and have fun with you on your bed.

“let’s go, ‘kunaa! don’t wanna be late!”

he rolls his eyes and settles you into his(jin’s) car before taking his spot at the driver’s seat and stepping on the gas.

the ride is filled with the soft tunes of your favourite songs(yes, he loves you that much to let you connect to his speakers). you sing along quietly, too immersed in your own thoughts to notice sukuna covering his smile with his free hand, and watch the road, letting the wind blow back your hair and grinning softly. seeing you this excited about meeting his family spreads warmth through his chest.

though, when the car reaches his building, you seemingly get nervous, hand shyly holding onto his to stop him from leaving as you look up at him unsurely.

“what if they don’t like me?”

he flicks your forehead with a roll of his eyes while you shriek and rub the spot soothingly, “if they tolerate me, there’s no way they won’t like you.”

“you’re not that bad, ‘kuna.”

“oh, you don’t even know, baby.”

he tries to ease your nerves on the elevator ride; hand tickling your waist so you smile, lips planting soft kisses onto the revealed skin, reassuring you that his brother and nephew are far less judgmental than he is. the walk to his front door consists of you trying to run away while sukuna tries to tug you back.

and it’s really inconvenient that his front door opens exactly when his hand is raised to hit you on the back of your head so you come to your senses and stop you from being a dumbass. sukuna sighs, scratching his neck instead, while you bow down hurriedly in a greeting.

you feel your face heat up until there is a pair of much smaller feet with different socks in sight and lift your head to lock gazes with a carbon copy of his uncle, little yuuji itadori. he beams at you like the sun itself, so bright and intoxicating, “i’m yuuji! nice to meet you!”

you can’t help but smile back at him before standing straight to introduce yourself to sukuna’s brother and nephew properly.

to sukuna’s surprise, the dinner is far more pleasant than he ever imagined it would be. it’s filled with your and jin’s soft talking, occasionally mixed with sukuna and yuuji’s bickering, but mostly jin asking you about yourself and you responding. you treat jin with respect, evident from the way you think about your answers and ask if it’s okay for him to answer his own question too, and sukuna is happy to see that you two clearly like each other already.

not even talking about yuuji, who can’t seem to take his attention off of you; his small fingers playing with the dangling charm of your bracelet, eyes trained on your pretty face as he listens to whatever you’re telling just as attentively as his father and uncle. sukuna isn’t even gonna deny that it’s a very cute sight.

at some point, before dessert, jin tells him to come and help with the dishes after politely declining your offer to help.

“she’s very sweet.”

“yeah.”

he smiles when he hears yuuji’s laughter from the other room along with your giggles. jin smiles too, continuing to wash the dishes.

“and very smart.”

“damn right she is.”

jin nods, nudging him so he starts drying off the plates. “so how come she chose you?”

as much as sukuna wants to jump on his brother for the implication that he’s not the best of choices(before reluctantly accepting that it’s not that far from the truth) he knows the answer to that question, the corners of his lips curling upwards as he busies his hands with work.

“i chose her first.”

at that, jin stares at him with a surprised look in his bright eyes. they finish washing the dishes in silence and move to the living room once tea is ready.

meanwhile, yuuji is sitting on the couch with you by his side. he’s making origami for you(well, at least he’s trying) while he rambles on about his day and you listen so attentively that sukuna even wonders whatever the hell he’s talking about.

he enters the room with lazy steps and falls back on the armchair with a heavy sigh, catching your gaze and winking at you. you look away with a small smile, refocusing on yuuji who’s gone silent at the moment. the little boy sits closer to you, urging you to lean down with a chubby hand. you oblige, waiting for him to say something in your ear. you giggle at that, hand coming up to cover your mouth before you whispered something back into yuuji’s ear. that makes yuuji all giggly and excited as he wraps his small arms around your neck and places a smooch on your cheek.

sukuna watches the interaction with a soft expression on his face, eyes halfway open and a sweet smile playing on his lips, his fist barely covering the lower half of his face, before he hears a ‘click!’ and turns to see his brother with a camera in his hand.

jin’s smile reminds him of the smile he had when he first had yuuji in his arms. so warm it’s probably enough to melt away a whole iceberg. sukuna feels his chest tighten before wondering if he can make you something more than just his girlfriend for the first time.

+ bonus!

“what did that little dipshit whisper to you?”

“he asked if he was cuter than you.”

“and you said?”

(you said yes.)

“heh, i told him you were the cutest, ‘kuna.”

[anadiasmount]

needy - jb blurb

quick sum: after a tiny argument takes place, your boyfriend panics at the idea of going to sleep when you’re in this state. not speaking or holding him like you do before bed. who could blame him? he was your needy and clingy boyfriend over all.

“goodnight…” you felt jude’s lips kiss your bare shoulder. you rolled your eyes knowing he couldn’t see you as your back faced him. it was a silly argument about him spending to much time on his video games rather than help you around the house.

his socks were everywhere, training gear left by the door, empty water bottles laid around, and many of his dishes laid out. it or course ticked you off because you spend so much time for everything to look neat and clean around your house. yet jude was acting like a teenager and claimed he forgets to do so.

you wanted to throw a huge rock at his head labeled an idiot for him to understand. but jude was jude and he tried to brush it off which infuriated you more. how many times would you have to tell him tell the message spread across his head? when would be understand that doing a simple task isn’t the end of the world?

you were being a tad dramatic, but in the end you’re just a girl. you had enough and lashed out, not wording even a single good night to him. if he wanted to act the way he did, then you could show the same. “are you still mad? you’re not gonna say goodnight?” asked jude who laid on his back, turning his head where you still faced your back.

jude would admit it and knew he was in the wrong here. and he apologized when he came to terms about it. you should’ve not had to repeat yourself after the first time. jude was raised better than that, and what ticked him off was now you telling him what to do. in the end you were just asking for his help and he felt a dick about afterwards.

“i love you y/n,” jude blabbered not getting a single reaction out of you. not a small twitch, change of breathing, or word. jude tried to fall asleep but he couldn’t. not when you weren’t holding him, or wished him a goodnight, or when you were this angry. this was his punishment. jude turned to his side wrapping his arm around you, but was taken at back when you removed his hand almost immediately. like a reflex.

“y/n-”

“it’s hot. don’t touch me.”

lies. it was not hot. it was so damn cold with the damn air fan on. he knew that by the small goosebumps that spread across your arms and the thick coated blanket on top you. “i want to hold you though,” jude frowned. “and i said i’m hot. leave me alone,” you pushed yourself way closer to the edge of the bed, trying to create a distance with you clingy boyfriend.

jude was making progress, you finally had spoken. but he was so far from where he needed to be. “baby… you’re not even gonna hold my pinky? like you do when i piss you off? or say goodnight?” jude asked stunned, well pretended to be stunned but it wasn’t working. you knew the tricks he had up his sleeve, and the regret he was feeling lost argument.

no word. no movement. no change.

“y/n.”

“what jude? what? i’m trying to sleep,” you whispered loudly, turning your head to look at him. “you’re not even going to say i love you? what if i die in my sleep?” jude said dramatically which made you flare your nostrils annoyed, taking a breather. “oh you’re being dramatic. what if i die in my sleep-” you turn your back to it’s original spot just to be cut off by jude.

“don’t say that! you can’t. i won’t allow it. you and me are endgame darling,” jude stressed, hating thinking about the idea of you not being here with him, but more so now when you were mad at him. “i can’t leave you alone till i hear you say good night and an i love you.”

“well then stay up… if you mutter another word i’m going downstairs,” you warn, sighing deeply and feeling your eye lids heavy. jude was hesitant, the unsure feeling returning in his chest as he saw your quiet body again. “can you please just hold me hand? i can’t sleep if i’m not touching you.”

“no.”

“y/n now you’re just being unfair,” jude said frustrated, “watch me,” you said bunching up your pillow and blanket and walking to the door, though jude was quick to get up and block the door. “i’m sorry! i’m sorry! i promise i won’t talk again! just get back in bed i don’t want you to sleep downstairs,” jude said fast, dragging you back to bed, being careful to not let you fall.

you wanted to laugh, but part of you wanted to drag this out long as possible. it was hilarious to see your clingy and needy boyfriend upset because you were mad. jude kept his promise, laying back down and faced away from you, feeling defeated and more disappointed in himself.

you had stayed up a little longer, knowing you were the same and could only sleep if he was holding you or vice versa. jude had fallen asleep and you knew that when he relaxed his shoulders. you quietly stirred over to where his back face you, careful to not wake him, or the plan would go to waste.

no matter what had happened, what was said and done, you weren’t going to sleep without wishing him a proper goodnight. or it be your turn to feel that pang of guilt in your chest at breaking a promise you swore together. you wrapped your around around his bare torso, peppering kisses onto his back to wake him up gently. “jude?”

“y/n? you okay what’s wrong?”

jude had turned immediately seeing your pouty face. “i’m not mad anymore. not unless you do that again then i’ll have your head and tell your mother,” jude stifled out a laugh, his chest warming in happiness when he saw you smiling. he hated when things got this extreme and he almost cried when you didn’t utter his favorite three words that came out your mouth.

“i’m sorry…”

“it’s okay… we’ll it’s not but you get the idea of it now right?” jude nodded knowing to what you referred to. you pushed yourself up and give him a proper good night kiss, jude humming in pure delight, the unnecessary weight leaving his shoulders as he shivered at your taste. “i can’t go to sleep without saying goodnight,” you said out of breath against his lips.

“and?”

“and what else?” you gave him a confused look, but you were teasing him knowing he wanted to hear the three words that finalized the wish goodnight.

“say it or i’ll be mad at you.”

“i love you jude,” you say shyly, giggling into neck and leaving a kiss there. “there she is… my pretty girl,” jude laughed with you kissing your head and pulling you to his chest, where he would finally be at ease after the stressful hour you put him through. it was no myth, and right now it felt right. exactly what you both needed.

“hold my pinky too. me holding you isn’t enough for me…”

[pupyuj]

Mean dom wonnie and yujin/ OR MAYBE REI being the mean girl duo, top at their class and just happens to get interested in you, maybe g!p🗣️✨🎀 with an unnie kink✨

gonna do mean girls wony and rei bcs ehehe i don’t write enuff rei 🥺🥺😢💓 plus ya’ll do NOT want me to yap about mean girl yuj or else we’ll end up with a ycs-long rant about me wanting mean girl yuj to make up a horrible rumor about me and ridicule me in front of the entire student body and then break my glasses and laugh in my face about it… THE VOICESSSS 👹👹👹👹

anyways, pardon for the long author’s note but omg i rlly enjoyed this ask for some reason LIKE I HAD SO MUCH FUN WHILE WRITING IT 😵‍💫😵‍💫🤭 i couldn’t incorporate unnie kink at all bcs i completely forgot about it MY APOLOGIES I HOPE YOU DON’T MIND ANON 🥺🙏

mean girls wony and rei who scares everyone except you bcs you always end up being third best at the class bcs of them and so you absolutely hate their guts 😡 never receiving the praises you deserve bcs they hog all the spotlight as well as the top marks.. mean girls wony and rei who took an interest for the feisty academic overachiever you, (y/n), bcs they finally noticed you glaring daggers at them from the top of your book from across the courtyard benches one summer afternoon in the campus… mean girls wony and rei who take it to themselves to teach you a thing or two about respecting your betters 🤭✨✨

them somehow catching you studying alone in an empty classroom.. talking to you with fake smiles with an even faker tone of speaking, offering to help you review for the next week’s assessments which you refused quite rudely… and ofc wony wasn’t going to let that slide! 👿👿 here they were, offering you a nice way to finally beat them in the class and yet reject them?? in such a tone too?? you were just asking to be punished!

wony grabbing your chin harshly.. digging her nails in your skin before she stuffs your mouth with her fingers, daring you to speak to them like that again.. while rei’s off to the side recording all of this with her phone… ykw maybe you were shitting your pants bcs what the fuck??? “well?? you were so brave just a few minutes ago..” wony says, laughing as you gagged and choked on her long fingers 😵‍💫 rei spotting you eyeing down wonyoung’s hard-on.. “wony, i think there’s something else (y/n) would rather have in her mouth.”

“of course! fucking slut. come on, rei-yah. let’s give her what she wants and fill her up.”

ughhfhfhschcbcj rei occupying your mouth while wonyoung keeps one of your hands busy.. you completely forgetting that rei is recording bcs all of a sudden you were their little whore and all you wanted to was to please them?? sucking off rei so good that her normally soft moans are louder, her head thrown back while she uses her free hand to keep your head still, thrusting her cock into your mouth at a comfortable pace… “o-only learning how to.. ahh… cooperate with us when it comes to this, hm? we should’ve fucked you earlier. right, wonyoung?” rei grabbing a fistful of your hair from the back and forcing you to look at her while you sucked her off.. smiling as she looks at your pathetic face back and forth between on her phone and behind the camera 😵‍💫😵‍💫

meanwhile, wonyoung was burning hot—she wants to cum so bad!! she was rock-hard and throbbing, she must’ve wanted this for a while.. ugh she doesn’t know how the fuck you did it but even when you were mostly preoccupied with rei fucking your mouth, you still found ways to please wonyoung with your hand 🫣 more and more of her precum leaking and coating her length as you jerked her off.. toying with the head and making wonyoung whine, nearly making her cum even! and she does merely a few minutes later bcs poor baby couldn’t hold it! 😣 her cum spilling all over your hand and the side of your face.. a much, much better look on you than makeup if you ask wony 🤭 and rei adds to it too! cumming right after wonyoung and making sure to pull out just to decorate your face with her cum…

and then! surprising the two girls with a barrage of questions that they didn’t expect from your mostly polite mouth at all 🫣

“is.. is that it..?”

“y-you’ll.. fuck me, right? i want you both inside me…”

“please..? i-i’m good.. i promise, i am..!”

what the fuck?! who knew you can be such an obedient cockslut! and why would rei and wony say no to that cute face? best believe that they’d fuck you in turns and together for as long as you can take in that classroom! mean girls know how to fuck a good girl’s brains out after all 🤭🤭

[mechaknight-98]

Intensity (NSFW) FT Haewon

Author’s note: partially inspired by @essentiallyleaf little Haewon piece. Haewon drives me feral

“Yo can you come by?” Haewon calls you and you reply,

“Sure do you need me to bring anything?”

“The lube, Some snacks, and that sexy ass of yours I wanna pound you then have you pound me till we're both so fucked out that all we can do is fuck, sleep, and eat,” Haewon responds as she begins to grope her chest on the video call. Her low-crop top rides dangerously cloud to tracking her breasts which drive you wild. The thought of ruining the petite idol overwhelms you internally but externally you remain composed.

“Wow, that's so lewd Hae. What's gotten into you,” you ask

“You hopefully in the next hour,” she moans out and cuts the call. You quickly begin scrambling to get everything ready. After that, you drive (aggressively) to her little apartment complex. You make it too and when she opens it she pulls you into a lustful kiss. like the world’s palest anaconda, she wraps her tight little body around you as you stumble into the apartment with her. You react accordingly after carefully setting the groceries down and reciprocate her fervor by viciously groping her breasts and ass. Haewon’s and your combined hunger for each other gets the better of you and you tear off (literally) each other’s outfits in desperate races to be naked and start truly fucking.

The two of you eventually reach her bed and as you violently make out Haewon uses an exploratory finger and plunges it into your asshole. Her unexpected intrusion causes you to tense up but it also allows Haewon to perfectly reach your G-spot which causes you to cum on the spot.

“Oh fuck I'm cumming,” you moan as Haewon laughs while you cum. She begins to play with herself while watching you orgasm all over her. Your cum flies over your body covering it in your seed. You groan as you can't stop cumming.

After that intense orgasm, she finally breaks the kiss for longer than a few minutes and says,

“I love making you cum. It makes me so hot and wet knowing the power I have over you and that cock Haewon says as she began to start to stroke your cock again.

“I’m going to get the strap,” she says proudly before coming back ready to violate you some more. She also grabbed the lube that was on the counter. She poured the lube on the strap and began to stroke it covering the dildo in cold gel.

“You ready,” Haewon inquires. You turn to her and nod. She smiles greedily before she plows you. You are shocked at first by her roughness but quickly adjust as she repeatedly rams into your G-spot. You moan as she hits it again and again.

“Yes moan for me slit,” Haewon teases as she begins to spank your ass. You cry out as the pleasure overwhelms you and you begin to leak all over her sheets.

“Oh you like that slut,” Haewon challenges and you nod, “good you're so tight. I can barely get you to pull out,” Haewon says through gritted teeth. You try to relax so she can get deeper and hit that spot. Her response is to see how much you can truly take. Haewon in a surprising display of strength pulls you up to be flush with her and begins stroking your cock while she fucks you from behind. The sensation is wild, intense, and overstimulating. You're unused to the stimulation forces of another reckless and violent load out of you. This orgasm isn't pleasant pain as your body forcibly tries to expel all of the cum stored within driving you up a wall while the bliss that should come is overshadowed by the pain. When the orgasm subsides you separate from Haewon. Unaware your screams are of agony and not pleasure Haewon strokes you desiring to push you to fuck her with equal ferocity. You swipe at her hands and leave the bedroom. Haewon follows you,

“Babe what's wrong?” she asks worried.

“I just need a minute, that was not pleasant,” you say trying to be amicable.

“But I thought you loved when I fuck your ass. She says closing in and you. She reaches down to your hard cock and begins to stroke again. The pain and pleasure blend breaks your brain as she takes you in for another kiss. Her arousal scent sends what little sanity you had out the window as you pin her to the ground. You rip off her strap and exe her. She has a mad look of lust in her eyes that pushes you over the edge. You align your cock with her entrance before taking her. Her tight body shudders as you ream into her without care. Haewon moans as her body receives you. You grab her delectable tits and begin to pinch and pull,

“Hey be softer, oh god keep going,” Haewon says as her brain tries to process the pain and pleasure correctly but much like you the pleasure and pain blend into an intoxicating combination that leaves both of you less than coherent.

Driven by an abyssal level of lust you drool into Haewon’s mouth and she greedily accepts it as the two of you continue to fuck on the bottom of her floor.

“Yes, yes, gonna cum,” Haewon announces as her high begins to barrel towards her like a train running off the track. She moans as you take that as an encouragement to go faster. Her pussy tightens around your sensitive cock and Haewon moans feeling you throb in her sodden cunt,

“Fill this snatch up,” she challenges desperate to get your cum inside her. You smile evilly at her and say

“What if I don't? What if I just cum all over that pretty face?” Haewon’s eyes widened with terror. Whenever you two fucked she always demanded a creampie whether orally or regularly. She needed it and you denying her made her body jolt and lurch as she needed it now.

“Please dump your load in me. My filthy cunt needs your cum. Please. I'll be a good girl I promise Daddy,”

You laugh as Haewon uses that word quite infrequently so she must be desperate. So you give in. You cum into her tight hole with equal ferocity to the last two orgasms. (although with less pain) Haewon breathes relief as she calms down from her orgasm. You cum so much in her though that you watch her belly begin to bulge from your cum. Haewon moaned at her distended belly with perverse glee.

“Oh god I feel like I'm about to burst,” she declared enraptured by her body’s acquiescence to current circumstances, “god babe you were volcanic today,” Haewon moaned as she began to play with her clit. You watched as your still-hard cock demanded more stimulus. So you began to stroke it again. Feral lust has overtaken both of you. Haewon smiles as you line up with her wet snatch again. You start rapidly fucking her again your cum making friction a nonexistent issue. You grab her modest breasts and knead them the way she likes. Haewon screams in ecstasy, “cum in that creamy pussy again,” Haewon yells before grabbing your balls and squeezing out another violent load. It caused her to cum again as well. You groan as you feel your balls empty inside the idol’s vacuous yet tight pussy.

Her blessed outbody turns you on again but it's painful this time

“Uh Haewon,”

“Eh,”

“I think it's time for a break,”

“Yeah.”

[wyattjohnston]

closer than i ever even knew - quinn hughes

summary: quinn saves the day and goes mini-golfing

word count: 1.1k

note: happy belated birthday @fallinallincurls! this is much, much shorter than i anticipated and i hope it's short but sweet. muchas gracias to @offside-the-lines <3

bingo: friends to lovers | witty banter | fake dating | it’s always been you

It starts, like any good romance movie does, with an event she doesn’t want to go to and a friend willing to save the day.

The event isn’t even big or fancy, which makes the whole thing so funny. She’s under no obligation to bring anyone, let alone a romantic partner, but, during the busiest hour of her week, a coworker had asked if she was going to, and the ‘yes’ had slipped from her mouth before she’d even realised it was happening.

Thus, Quinn Hughes was playing mini golf at a "team bonding" event her company decided was a good idea.

Her intention hadn’t been to earn any brownie points by bringing him—he had volunteered himself, after all—but the second they arrived and her boss spotted Quinn Hughes, Captain of the Vancouver Canucks, she immediately grouped them with her, her wife and the next nearest couple.

They wasted no time in heading to the first hole, her boss taking the lead and making sure they weren’t stuck behind anybody else. Which turned out to be a good thing because Quinn was taking practice swings with the putter.

She rolled her eyes as she asked, “Are you taking this seriously, or are you having fun?”

“Are we on a team?”

“No, it’s individual.”

“Then I’m taking it seriously,” Quinn answered easily. “No way am I letting you win.”

The questions came through shortly after they started, nosing in on the relationship lie that resulted in Quinn joining them for the day. Well, they weren’t aware that it was a lie, of course.

Luckily for her, Quinn was all too happy to do the talking.

The lingering looks and touches had her wondering why Quinn pursued hockey when he would have been just as successful as an actor. Even though he was determined to win, the simple repositioning of her hands on the putter and the minute correction of the position of her hips were leaving her short of words.

“Is this good enough for you, Captain?” she called over her shoulder, teasing Quinn as she lined up for her next shot. The wiggle in her hips was joking—mostly involuntary even—but it immediately drew Quinn’s eyes, even though he was mid-conversation.

“You’ve got great form, babe.”

A wink accompanied the sentence and she had to look away so that her blush wouldn’t be seen by her coworkers. Or by Quinn.

It did mean that she turned around and focused on her putting, leading to a nice hole-in-one.

At various points throughout the afternoon, Quinn’s hand found hers. Their fingers intertwined in a perfect fit, and it took all her power to not act like it was a strange occurrence; she desperately wanted to get out of her head and enjoy those moments while they lasted.

Her boss, finally taking a break from talking about hockey, asked about how they met. The looks sent Quinn’s way were a discrete panic, but he didn’t seem to be facing the same problem.

“We had the same routine running the Sea Wall—seemed like fate that we kept running into each other when my schedule’s so chaotic, you know?” he answered, providing an entirely accurate retelling that had her shocked he hadn’t opted for something a bit more romantic. “She literally fell for me.”

“Me?” she nearly screeched, any confusion she was feeling or fluttering in her stomach was immediately overtaken by incredulity. “You tripped over a dog lead!”

“You distracted me, what can I say?”

There was some cooing that followed, and Quinn refused to make eye contact despite the cocky smile on his face. It was becoming increasingly difficult to tell whether it was all just for show.

Her boss ended up winning, after a lot of effort and a competitive nature that would rival anybody Quinn played with or against. She and Quinn shared many sideways glances with raised eyebrows at just how competitive she was.

The world stopped spinning when Quinn leaned in and whispered directly into her ear, “Still beat you, though.”

As they were leaving, Quinn took her hand again. It was so casual that she wasn’t sure any thought had gone into it at all—and with nobody looking their way, it did nothing to heighten their ruse. She glanced down at their hands, too distracted to even say a proper goodbye as Quinn earnestly told everyone he hoped to see them again soon—that also added to her confusion.

The streets of Vancouver were deeply familiar, etched into her brain from a young age with every slight raise in the concrete committed to muscle memory, so she knew that they were headed towards the water and away from either of their apartments the second Quinn chose a direction. The Sea Wall surrounding the city was her favourite part of it with nothing else even coming close.

“Weird time for a run?” she asked. She wiggled her fingers just to test the pressure. Quinn squeezed back. “I don’t want to go for a run right now.”

“Nobody is going for a run,” he said gently. “I didn’t even want to be going for runs but I saw you on that first day and kept going out just in case I’d see you again.”

She screwed up her face, the disbelief that ran through her had her pulling her hand from Quinn’s and huffing, “Don’t be stupid.”

“How am I being stupid?” There was a tinge of hurt in his voice that she so rarely heard; she felt it right in her chest.

“I don’t know, Q. I just don’t believe you went out of your way to find me. That’s not…” Her voice was muffled by the sound of the water rushing against the Sea Wall. “That doesn’t happen in real life. To me.”

Quinn stared at her, seemingly taking in every inch of her face, and she could only imagine the expression she was making. If she looked as pathetic as she felt, she would need to make sure she never saw him again.

“It’s happening to you.” he stressed. “Today was… Today… I’d like today to be every day.”

She had so many things she wanted to say but no ability to make them come out of her mouth. She felt no less pathetic than she did a moment earlier, though she did feel a little more hopeful. It had been a good day, even if confusing, and she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t been wanting something similar since they first met years prior.

“Why don’t you believe me?”

“Because you’re Quinn Hughes? Because you’re the Captain of the Vancouver Canucks? We’ve just spent the entire day with your ass being kissed—you could have your pick of any woman in Vancouver. We’ve been friends for like, what? Three years now and you’ve never—”

“I am now. I don’t want anybody else. I want you. It’s always been you.”

i would very much love to hear your thoughts if you have any, and would love if you'd reblog and share it with some more people <3

[nouvxllev]

CAN I DO A REQUEST..

Jenna x Reader

Summary: R gets high off their ass after an argument w J, J gets home (xtra tired) w R drunkkkafff, but even in a drunken state, R still treats J like a literal princess, no matter the circumstance they're in cuz R loves J sm

LOVELOVELOVE YOUR WRITING SM.

-🦦

i (do)nt care!

Pairing: Jenna Ortega x Gn!Reader

Summary: request!! ^^

Words: 3.5k

Warnings: literally drinking tears away, on the verge of an alcoholic and stressed out reader, readers the sweetest but also dorkiest, bittersweet stuff but the author is trying to sound funny above most of it

a/n: one of my recognizable anons, thank you for requesting!!! APPRECIATE YOU SMMM

masterlist.

You're a shitty person at times, like having quips come flying out of your mouth like a 7th grade asshole. You don't know where they come from, but they came from something like maybe a stressful week.

Like people not knowing when and how to shut the fuck up, angry customers with blonde hair and a penchant for that pixie-cut hairstyle pestering you all day because you allegedly forgot their order as if you weren't new to the whole running a coffee shop thing while on a minimum wage!

The internet seriously romanticized it too much, it's becoming a hassle to know which job to take when all you want is something relaxing and pays well.

Job hunting was a pain in the ass more than you are.

But then there's that lovely and caring girlfriend of all that makes it all bearable even if you're on the brink of insanity. The one who makes everything okay with literally just her presence. If there were a worldwide contest for the best and most understanding girlfriend, you knew Jenna would win it hands down.

You'd sooner try to stop a bullet train with your bare hands than even hurt her in the slightest. You loved her all too much to even do so.

But somehow in your own fucked up, seriously-like-actually-what-the-actual-fuck-were-you-thinking way, you managed to mess that up too.

You had an argument with Jenna as soon as you walked through the door the both of you shared. (It was because she accidentally broke your Minecraft bed and now it wasn't placed beside her. Again, you were stressed, and everything piled up. Even if it's dumb ones.)

You still remember the sound of her voice, heartbreaking is all you could say. (Again, dumb argument. Why did you even bring it up as if it was some huge problem?)

So now you're here. Drinking all your sorrows away like it would magically bring Jenna close and sing some we are the world shit for the rest of your living lives and kiss.

It was moments like these when you question if you were dropped on your head as a baby multiple times and no one even bothered to tell you.

I mean, arguing over a Minecraft bed? Seriously? Maybe you should take up lobotomy without anesthesia.

You still remember saying, 'Fine! Go away and see if I fucking care!' like something out of a bad soap opera and then she actually went away.

And you do care. Very much so.

It's safe to say you spent 30 minutes crying on the floor before picking your ass up to get a cab and come up with a dangerous coping mechanism before you eventually spotted a bar and decided you'd start drinking.

And of course, being that one person who never drank before in their entire life without having to chase it all down with water the soon it hits your tongue, it tasted bitter.

The bar was quiet with a hint of peoples voices going up and down alot, screaming alot, and the occasional drunkard barging in with their work attire.

You'd like to think that you're none of these people, but your the person who argued with literally the love of your life that you vowed to never hurt over something so dumb and tried drinking it all away.

"Ffffuck..." you murmured to yourself. Your eyes burned like hell, that was a nice addition to a headache.

Your head was down on the counter, your fingers gripping the shot glass as if it was your last moment on earth.

"You've ordered two bottles of whiskey and a fuck ton of tequila shots in the past hour, something wrong?"

Let's see, I've been fighting sleep as if I've disrespected my ancestors, job hunting is literally chewing me like I'm flavored bubblegum, tired, stressed, and most importantly, I managed to upset my one and only girlfriend who only gave me nothing but pure happiness and love! So, I'm fucking not, thanks so much for asking!

But you can't say that to someone who's also working minimum wage at a bar in New York. Living in New York is hell enough, dealing with fucked up customers like you is already going to be the next problem.

Because what can you really say to someone who's just trying to do their job? They don't need to hear about your self-inflicted drama.

You hear the bartender sigh. Not unlikely because you've probably been groaning and whining for the past few minutes.

"Let me guess, gotten to a fight with your significant other?"

How in the hell did he know that!?

Your eyes widened, immediately sitting up straight. "Holy shit, you're a wizard!" By the way your voice slurred and literally no one on earth would have that as their first thought, you're drunk.

The bartender chuckled, cleaning off another class and chucking it in the sink. "Not quite. Just seen my fair share of broken hearts. Kind of comes with the job."

You shake your head, "Nope," you popped the P, "definitely a wizard."

"Wanna tell me about them?" He placed another shot glass your way, "On the house, juice, though. You shouldn't be drinking anymore."

Taking the glass of juice, you swirl it around absentmindedly with your hand perched on top of the table and carrying the weight of your head. People say don't talk to strangers, but they never really said to spill your guts over to them.

With a sigh you down it all.

"Her name's…" Oh, right. She's an actress.

You really shouldn't be going around telling people you're literally with America's Idol when you kept your relationship with her private until she's ready to go public.

"Her name is, uhm, Jenny." Fuck, she's gonna kill you if you tell her this story. But it does put a very stupid smile on your face.

"Pretty name."

Your eyes lit up like never before. You were passionate for her, how could you not? "She's pretty, very pretty—you wouldn't know how to describe it yourself, you'd have to write verses upon verses to."

"Have you?"

"I'm still writing. Everyday."

The bartender nodded with a slight smile to his lips.

You stand up straighter. "She's this—talented person with one of the most dangerously charming brown eyes that resembles a nebula. Her smile, oh—her smile is one of the most incredible things to witness. She could make a devil weep and laugh with her, it'll make them regret their sins in an instant." Your voice was warm, clear, not even a trace of drunkenness whenever you're talking about her.

"It's not just her looks, or her smile, or whatever, she has a brilliant mind you could never dissect. Tears were never a challenge for her, she's brave, braver than anyone I've ever seen. She's a kind and romantic soul, an old one at that, but romantic nonetheless. Not just to me, but to everyone around her. She cares for everyone around her." You didn't notice you started crying halfway through.

"Dreaming was never a problem when I'm around her, though it felt like reality was greater than anything I've ever slept in. She's just the most gorgeous and incredible girl. She sees right through me, through everything, but she still loves me despite all my flaws and fuck-ups."

You pause. "But tonight, I got us into an argument so stupid, like so stupid and then I burdened everything I was feeling on her. Before I knew it, I yelled some things at her that I didn't really mean and she was out the door."

You'd think you'd be fine after literally spilling everything out, but no, you just slump back again in defeat like some pathetic hopeless romantic loser.

You facepalm yourself. "Give me a bottle."

"You shouldn't be—"

"I'll pay you 100$ no change needed, just please give me a bottle." You were acting like one of those drunkards you see on TV shows where the character gets horrendously fucked over.

One of the all time low for you, you've really outdid yourself.

You hear the bartender sigh and place another bottle of whiskey. "Business is business."

In one go, or maybe one shot glass, you were back to words stumbling and your brain feeling like fizz.

"All I know is I screwed up big time, and now I'm sitting here feeling like the world's biggest idiot for doing something like that to literally the love of my life!"

"Well, is she—"

It happened in a flash.

Or rather it happened in a second by how fast your mood changed to serious to straight up bawling your eyes out and gripping the bartenders collar.

"What the hell do I do, John!? Is your name even John!?" You cried, even breaking down and making a mess of yourself in front of the population of this bar.

"ImessedthefuckupandIdon'tevenknowifshesgonnaforgivemeohmanwhatthehelldoIdo!?" You swayed him back and forth, it's amazing how he isn't calling for security and escorting you out.

"OKAY, OKAY! Calm down, shit!" He immediately grabs your hands and gently pries your fingers from his shirt and sits you back down.

"I feel like the—" you hic "—worlds biggest asshole and my girlfriend thinks that too!

"She's—"

"I still love her with all my heart! I'll do anything to be with her again, I'm so fucking serious, anything I—!"

"She's right behind you, man!"

You stop.

You turn around.

"Oh, shit."

You murmured. It was like your brain was stumbling on a delicate thread of soberness and drunkenness. Jenna looked like the most finest pair of blobs.

Jenna looks tired, exhausted, stressed. Her eyes are glistening with tears, and her nose carries a reddish tint to it. You didn't even notice that she was wearing your shirts with one of your jackets.

"Oh, love!" You come crashing down on her as you stood up, embracing Jenna into a warm hug.

"Y/n, you're crushing me—"

Jenna used to love your hugs, even if they were totally crushing her. Oh, you were so fucked.

"Sorry, sorry," you mumble, stepping back slightly but your hands lingered on her shoulders, offering a small massage to her stress. "Is that you, Jenna?"

She looks up at you. There were visible dark circles under her eyes and glint of past tears that trickled down her face.

"I'm... I'm so sorry, Jennaaaaauuhh!" you cry out, her name stretching as you bawled your eyes out in front of her, words tumbling out of you before you can even stop them.

"I didn't mean anything, or any of it! I was stressed, people were so mean to me, but that isn't a valid excuse for me to just..." you blew a raspberry for dramatic effect, "blow it up on you. Please don't ignore my hugs, you always adored my hugs! Oh, God, Jenna, I'm so sorry!"

You were still talking before Jenna could even get one word out, "I love you literally sooo so so much I was a fool for even—hey, how'd you know I was here? Fuck, you shouldn't be here! I can't let you know that I was drinking, turn around!"

"Y/n," she sighs, reaching up to cup your cheek in her hand, "Let's just go home. You've been here for an hour."

You nod frantically, not knowing if that was meant to be as an I forgive you gesture or an I will tear your limbs from muscle to tendon and taxidermy you into the most horrendous positions after we get home gesture.

"I'll get the door for you!" You shout while stumbling over your own feet as you rush to get the door.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time the two of you got home safely without you trying to insist taking over the steering wheel when you're completely blacked out of your mind, you're still clinging onto Jenna as if she was the one going to fall on her own feet.

"Y/n, what are you doing?"

Jenna looks up at you, your whole figure sprawled out in front of her like a starfish.

You turn around at her like some superhero who came to save the day, vision blurry from the light. "The moon looks suuuper close tonight. What if you'll get burnt!?"

"That's the porch lamp, Y/n."

"No, it is not—!" You look up. Oh, shit it is.

"Oh." You take Jenna's hand, giggling away your blatant stupidity with a goofy grin, "God, you're so smart, can't believe you're my girlfriend."

But Jenna just laughs. It's everything to you, a sweet symphony blessed with those close with her.

"I like 'ur laugh, Jenna." You whisper to her, hands in your pockets while you watch her struggle with the keys.

She doesn't respond but with a nod. Your heart sinks for her—she's that exhausted and it's all because of you!

Finally, she manages to get the door open with your heart stuck in your throat while Jenna leads the both of you inside. The house was warm, toasty, but it left remnants of your argument with her.

You steel a glance at her, her eyes cast downward while she struggles with her own jacket.

"Oh—here! I'll get your coat," you offer, your hands trembling slightly with your own coat hanging from your forearm. "Annnd I'll take care of your clothes—wait, did you have dinner yet? I can whip up something for you!"

Without Jenna's judgement, you hurry up with a tail stuck between your own two feet to Jenna's closet, throwing everything out and getting some nice and comfy clothes for her. Not knowing you went to your closet instead of hers.

"Jenna!" You run towards her, pretty fast for a drunkard without falling over, "Shit everything looks like hell for me—anyway, what do you want for dinner? I can literally make anything, just say the word!"

Jenna still stands in the doorway, looking up at you. "You can't cook dinner, love, you're drunk."

She called you love! Yes!!

"I'm not drunk. I don't have my hiccups anymore, my vision is not that impaired and I can walk perfectly fine. You just saw me run!"

"You mistook a porch lamp for a moon and tried to protect me, Y/n."

Noooo! Back to the first name basis already!?

"Well—"

"You're sweating even if the air condition is turned on, your eyes look red so is your face."

"Okay, maybe—"

All you heard was a sigh before Jenna's lips met yours. Soft and delicate, it was the effect she had on you. You can melt like winter bathed in sunlight for the first time by the touch of her lips on yours.

"Earth to Y/n?"

Your eyes were still closed even after she pulled away, what an idiot you must've looked like.

You blink.

"Oh—oh, that's me. I'm Y/n." You cleared your throat. "Here, your clothes!" You bounced back almost immediately, but you swear your heart is still fluttering like crazy.

Jenna took the neatly folded pile of clothes on your hands, "Let's just take a shower, okay—"

You're practically bouncing with energy and utmost passion to help out your girlfriend with a simple sentence coming out of her mouth. "I'll draw a bath for you! Even scented candles and bubbles—wait, let's get you on the couch first."

Jenna smiles at you. Oh, how you've missed her. "You know, you don't have to do this, baby." She murmurs as she makes her way to the couch with your hand between hers, sinking into the soft cushions with a relieved sigh like she was a plushie.

"But I want to," you respond softly, handing her a bottle of water and arranging pillows for extra comfort. "It's the least I can do."

Fuck, she's too adorable. How in the hell did you manage to get into an argument with this perfect girl?

"I'll be right back, baby. Just relax, okay?" You reassure her, giving her a quick peck on the forehead before eagerly skipping to the bathroom like your life depended on giving your girlfriend the most luxurious bath of all.

It took a long while before you got everything in place. It was all 50% work and 50% taking a rest because you almost tripped and fell into the bathtub, eaten shit on the floor and the bath bomb, mistook rose petals for blood, almost dropped your phone into the water, and took numerous breaks to calm your vision and heartrate down.

Returning to the living room, you find Jenna lying down with her eyes shut, looking cozy and content.

Yet she was still tired.

Visible traces of exhaustion were etched on her face, her eyebrows are slightly creased even in her REM cycle, and her hand is curled into a fist as she constantly twists and turns in her sleep.

You wince at the sight.

You approach her quietly, gently brushing a strand of hair away from Jenna's face. You watch her breathing even out, her chest rising to her breaths. She looked dangerously ethereal.

"Y/n?"

How long have you been staring at her for?

You smiled, getting into the couch with her, wrapping your arms around her soft body, hoping that it felt like comfort to her like how she felt like undeniable solace to you. She was cold, very cold, but you couldn't help wrap your arms around her.

"Hey." You murmur, planting a soft kiss to her neck, "You okay? I drew a bath for you."

"Just for me?"

"Mhmm, why?"

"Aren't you going to take one? You reek of alcohol, baby."

"Harsh."

She laughs at you, sitting up and pulling you along with her. "Take a shower with me, there's enough space for two."

You smirk at her, "Ooooh, sexy."

Jenna could almost burn holes in your face, rolling her eyes with the same smile as yours, "We are not having sex, baby."

"Oh." You wince as you get up, taking Jenna along with you, "But seriously?"

"Seriously, you reek."

"And I thought you love me!"

"I do, just not the smell."

By the time you both got into the shower, you were marveling at Jenna's figure.

She seemed almost too flawless, simply too gorgeous not to appreciate fully. You could almost cry at the sight (which you did). She was too perfect not to.

Jenna turned to you, her wet hair cascading from her shoulders as you sat behind her, massaging her shoulders to relieve any stress and tension in her body. "You alright, baby? You're... crying."

"Sorry," You wiped your tears away with a light laugh, "You're too perfect, how could I not!?"

Jenna leaned into your touch, letting the warm water and scented candles warm her spirit as well as heart, the tension melting away under your gentle touch. "You're pretty perfect yourself, Y/n."

"Compared to you, I'm no one."

"Now that's the dumbest thing you've ever said."

You paused in your ministrations. "I made you cry, Jenna. Over something so stupid." You let your arms fall to her waist, wrapping them in a tight hug as you bring her closer to you, burying your head on the crook of her neck. "'M sorry. I shouldn't have blown up everything on you. I didn't mean anything."

Jenna sighed, her hands finding yours cuddled around her and intertwining each finger with hers. "I know you're just tired—"

"You are too. More tired than me but you never harmed me like how I harmed you." You whisper to her, your breath shaking, "I'll do better, Jenna. I'm sorry."

She hummed, turning her head to plant a delicate kiss on your cheeks. "I forgive you, Y/n. We all have our moments, you aren't any out of the ordinary."

You hummed softly against her skin.

"Also, please don't go out drinking again, okay? It's gonna turn out a bad habit for you."

"You smoke, Jenna. We aren't that different."

Jenna narrowed her eyes, "I will drown you, Y/n."

You laugh, placing a kiss on the corners of her lips. "I'm just joking!"

You continued to massage Jenna's shoulders, feeling your own stress and tension melt away as you kiss every patch of her skin.

"How come you still treat me so well even when you're drunk?" Jenna adjusted her position as she nestled between your legs, her own drawing up to her chin.

You scoff, "For the second time, I'm not drunk and I love you too much not to."

"That's a stupid reason."

"Excuse me?"

"What were exactly your exact words... Oh, 'Go away and see if I fucking care?'"

"You know I didn't mean it!"

"I do. But I wanna hear you say it."

You couldn't see Jenna's exact face, but you know she's wearing a shit-eating grin with the most stupidest and cutest dimples around her smile.

"I do care for you, Jenna. So much. I was a dumbass for saying that, a dick, even."

Jenna laughed, leaning in to rest on your shoulder, her hand gently guiding your head to face towards her.

She pressed a soft kiss to your lips. "I love you."

"Well, I care for you." You kissed her back.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: im surprised that this was so short also im back! my schedule is hectic and very stressful but im still alive for the most part

[unformula1]

Lando proposing to you with “bless the broken roads”

bless the broken roads (LN4 x gn!Reader)

lando and you don’t think you’ll find someone. liar. w/c: 1237 masterlist(read more) a/n: I tried my best lol. I'm sorry if this isn’t what you wanted. Please correct me if you wanted something else!! TW: one use of y/n

There was a running joke between Lando’s friends. “Lando will never find true love.” 

After years of being single or chasing someone to no avail, Lando’s almost beginning to accept his curse. However, as much as he joked about it, he really wanted someone. He needed someone.

It was a death cycle. Lando would find someone, they’d lead him on, then down bad Lando would take over, then he’d take his chance and fail. Then after all that work, he would be pushed back onto his broken road.

He was beginning to accept that he was really never going to find someone.

But he never gave up. He kept searching.

------

You don’t know how long it was since you felt someone loved you romantically. You missed that feeling. Spending forever just finding someone who would love you back and then getting absolutely no fruit was tiring, it was exhausting.

You know when you finally find someone, you’d give them the world and shower them with all the love you had in you. You constantly tell yourself how there’s one grand plan for you to find the one person you’ve been longing for and all you have to do is wait.

Waiting for years isn’t easy. 

You’re losing hope, walking along a broken road.

------

Lando and you met some time ago, but you two hit it off almost instantly. Both of you were made for each other, the chemistry was through the roof.

Lando never failed to make you laugh. Even on your darkest days Lando was like a beacon of light, a bundle of sunshine. He smiled a lot, which you admired whenever you could.

You never failed to make Lando feel appreciated, which Lando would never admit no matter what, but deep down you knew Lando loved that. You made time for Lando, and you stayed with him come hell or high water.

Life wasn’t easy for you. There were countless nights where you cried in his arms, you cried your eyes out with him, and you felt safe. You felt safe with Lando. There were sleepless nights where everything just got too much and right next to you was Lando, holding your hand, and that was all you needed. You felt safe with Lando. 

Life wasn’t easy for Lando either. Sometimes his busy life got a little too hectic and chaotic, he’d come find you. Lando felt protected by you, although he’d never say. Sometimes people got too far and everything felt like a crumbling mess, he’d come find you. Lando felt protected. He wanted to be next to you, whenever, wherever you were.

Then one day, everything fell together, sort of. Lando asked you to be his “other half”. Long story short, you said yes and kissed him in the sunset.

------

It had become a common occurrence for you and Lando to lie down on empty grass fields or the rooftops and look up into the skies, to talk about your lives.

You open the door to the rooftop. Lando doesn’t usually do these a night before the race. A cold blast of wind blows against you as you walk out. Lando is just standing there, his hands stuffed deep into his pockets, as he looks out into the city.

You walk over to Lando and slide your hand around his waist and he giggles as you do so.

“I like the sky tonight.” You say and Lando hums an approving ‘hm’.

“I like it too. Starry night.” Lando replies, shifting on the spot slightly.

“You know in the wilderness, people would use stars to guide them.” You say, pointing at some random stars.

Lando hums.

“Especially the North Star, because it lies above Earth’s North. So they used it to guide them.” You smile while saying it.

“Everyone else before you was like a North Star.” Lando speaks.

You turn to Lando, cocking up an eyebrow.

“They guided me to find you.” Lando clears his throat, smiling widely as he looks up into the sky while speaking.

“You’re adorable.” You reply which earns you an honest chuckle from Lando.

You shift closer to Lando and he does so too. Both of you stand next to each other, bodies touching. His warm hands slide out of his pockets and around your shoulder, it makes you feel comfortable despite the cold winds blowing against you.

“I used to dream of days like these.” Lando admits, his voice is soft and just for you to hear, “Never thought they’d come true.”

“I did too.” You chuckle.

“I thought they were lost dreams.” Lando continues, “But yet here you are.”

“Yea…” You take a deep breath, “Here we are… you’re the love of my life.”

Lando shifts even closer to you, pulling you into his embrace. The hug is tight and it lasts for a while, you hear Lando’s soft sobbing which he usually doesn’t do publicly.

“Are you okay?” You ask, voice laced with concern.

Lando takes a deep breath, clearing his throat, “There have been many people I’ve tried to love before you.”

You nod.

“None of them have been as good as you. I never thought I’d meet someone who understood me, but you came.” Lando takes another deep breath, “I honestly never thought there’d be someone for me…”

“Neither did I, honestly.” You chuckle as you place your hands on Lando’s shoulder.

“When I asked you to be the love of my life, I didn’t think you’d say yes.” Lando shuffles his feet and sniffles a little, “But you did and I could not be more grateful.”

You smile at Lando and he smiles a little too.

“My entire life has been like a broken road, filled with pitfalls and traps, loss and despair. All my life I’ve wanted to just be for someone, and now I have.” Lando takes a step back.

“y/n…” 

“Lando…” 

He reaches into his pocket before getting down on one knee. The backdrop of car honking and people chattering suddenly fades into silence and the stars shine brighter than ever. All the lights shine at him and you two are in the spotlight.

“I never want to live without you again. Will you marry me?”

The world around you freezes, all you see is Lando, on one knee, holding a ring in his hand, his eyes filled with tears. 

“Yes.” You say softly.

“YES!” You repeat but louder, and admittedly, more cheerfully.

He slides the ring onto your ring finger and gets up. You take no time to rush into him, your arms swinging around him and pulling him in. 

“I’ll make you the happiest person ever, I promise, all those years of finding love, I’ll give it to you and only you.” Lando says as he lifts you off the ground, planting a kiss on your lips.

It feels like forever on the rooftop before both of you walk back down to Lando’s room, holding each other’s hands.

It was nothing special, just both of you on a silent rooftop. To you, it was everything. Every single attempt to find someone who would love you back, every lost road that both of you set on, every heartbreak you two went through, all culminating in that few seconds.

You loved Lando. Lando loved you.

Both of your broken roads, leading right into each other’s.

Bless the broken roads that let both of you to each other’s arms.

[garfunklefield]

Adorbs! (Reupload)

18+ viewer discretion is advised

Fem!reader/Megumi Fushiguro/Yuji Itadori Warnings: spit roasting, voyeurism, make out, three some, slight exhibitionism, mild dub-con, come shot [face] Word count: 1832 DESC: two friends share you in a broom closet

Okay so tumblr took this down so let’s try again!

“Uhhhh what? I didn’t say anything!” Yuji raised two hands, with wide eyes. He had just caught his best friend and some random girl, you, grinding on each other in the math hallway. He wasn’t entirely sure what to do when he first walked up and saw Megumi whimpering into your touch. Any reasonable person would have just walked away and tried to forget about it, but Yuji was a bit of a pervert. He found himself staring, watching, and touching himself. Just a little bit, over his sweatpants. But enough to stain his underwear with loads of precum.

You turned around, your bottom lip pushed out in a pout. He hadn’t noticed your outfit, tight skirt, and tighter top. As you crossed your arms, the buttons stretched and he could see your perfectly rounded breasts. “So… You’re just gonna stand there or are we gonna do it?’

Megumi blinked a few times and looked down at you, a fierce blush racing across his temples, “Do what, exactly?” Although his voice was even and calm, Yuji could tell he was completely humiliated. But it didn’t explain why he was still hard. Did he have a humiliation kink too on top of this exhibitionist thing?

“Well if Yuji wants to join it would be mean not to let him,” you looked up at Megumi and batted your eyelashes a few times. You knew he liked you and that gave your ego a massive boost. All the things you thought he hated, turns out maybe he didn’t. That rush, accompanied by your recent orgasm, made you a bit more confident in your abilities to persuade him.

The boy frowned and shot his best friend a glare, “I’m not having sex with Yuji.”

“Not him. Me. Both of you fuck me at the same time,” you rolled your eyes, “C’mon! I know a spot!” You strolled up to Yuji and took his hand, turning your head back to look at Megumi. His frown deepened but he still followed you two with no complaints. Yuji couldn’t say much, being stunned by the fact it worked and he was about to fuck you with his best friend. He had to admit it, he’d had thoughts about Megumi in the past, but he never knew how to voice it. This just made it better. He could have his cake and eat it too.

Megumi couldn’t help but stare at you and Yuji as you walked, your height difference even in those heels, and the way your ass hung out of your skirt. It wasn’t like you were even trying to hide your thong, covering the soaked spot in between your legs. Or your ass, as it jiggled with every step. He found himself salivating at the thought of being able to hold, touch, and fondle it. All of it. The three of you arrived at the spot in question, which was a broom closet. You opened it and motioned for the two of them to follow you inside. Once inside, it was dark and shabby. But, it had enough room for the three of you to stand comfortably.

The boys expected you to stand in the middle and give yourself to them, so it surprised them when you pushed them both in the middle and cleared your throat. “Go on.”

“...What?” Megumi blinked a few times, staring from you to Yuji, who was equally as confused.

“If you want to fuck me I want you two to kiss first,” you tilted your head to the side and nodded in their direction.

Yuji didn’t have to be told twice, reaching out and pulling his friend in by the waist. His lips found the man’s neck and pressed delicate kisses along his skin, trailing up to his jaw. Megumi stood there for a moment, watching you with a pissed expression. But he was practically melting into his friend's touch, which made you question if he was really pissed or flustered. Soon, Yuji’s mouth trailed up to Megumi’s face, where their lips met. It was soft and sweet, just a few shallow kisses. But the raven-haired boy deepened it within seconds. Their tongues intertwined as they lost themselves in the pleasure, pressing against each other. You couldn’t help but begin to touch yourself over your wet panties. God, they were so hot, needily lapping at each other's mouths for some kind of release. You could see Megumi fighting to keep up with Yuji’s intense kissing, taking over the kiss within seconds.

It didn’t take you long to inch over and begin to run your hand up Megumi’s back. He shivered and turned his head to you, lips swollen from the kiss and eyes half-lidded. You took it as an opportunity and lept to kiss him, bringing him into a dominating kiss. The other boy leaned forward and began to kiss his best friend's neck, making him whine into your mouth. Your hands found his hair and raked through it, gently tugging at the strands to make him moan louder. He tried to pull away and break from it, but you wouldn’t let him. Your stronghold on his lips made him hard, straining against his pants. One of your hands moved down, touching on his clothed boner. You felt it twitch and practically beg to be freed from his jeans. Yuji grabbed your face after a moment and turned it, bringing you into a sloppy make-out. Megumi whimpered and watched the two of you turn and press against each other, molding into one. Your hands tugged on Yuji’s hair and his hands made a home on your ass, pulling up your skirt and fondling you without care. He bit his lip and watched, slowly unbuttoning his own jeans to be freed from the tightness that restricted his cock.

Yuji pulled down your skirt within seconds then got to work on his sweatpants. For him it was easy, just pulling them down with his underwear in one fell swoop. Then he kicked them off and looked down at his dick, throbbing to be inside you and only you. Megumi whined and turned your attention to him, seeing him pulling down his jeans. You helped him remove them and his boxers, staring at his cock. It was large, just like Yuji’s, although his had less girth to it. Either way, you wanted to suck one and get fucked by the other.

“I call mouth,” Yuji smiled, moving to stand in front of you. You knelt down and stared face to face with his cock. It was perfect, and leaking just for you. You ran your hand from its tip down the shaft, letting him shudder. Megumi walked behind you and pressed his penis against your ass, groaning at the plush feeling. You were on all four at that point, ready to be face fucked until you choked.

It was gentle at first, letting you get adjusted to the feeling of Megumi’s large dick in your pussy and Yuji’s long cock in your mouth. But the boys were needy, they were needy to cum in and on you. Yuji was the first to start fucking you hard, grabbing your hair and thrusting his hips like there was no tomorrow. He was just as whiney as his friend, who grabbed your fat hips and fucked into your sweet cunt quickly. You could barely moan, you could barely breathe, all you could do was take it like a little slut. Then you started gagging when his tip touched the back of your throat. But you liked it, god, you loved it.

“Mm.. f-fuck.. Yo-you’re so… t…tight,” Megumi exhaled, leaning back to relish in your pussy. You were perfect, warm, and sloppy just for him. Tight as he thrust into your juices, and comforting. He wanted to fuck you for hours on end until he couldn’t feel his penis anymore. Yuji felt almost the same about your perfect little mouth. It was just wide enough to fit his dick in there, with room for him to reach the back of your throat. You were warm and wet, slobbering all up his shaft uncontrollably. He didn’t give you room to breathe or get situated, just pushing himself in to get his high.

They were both close and they just started. You were the perfect little fuck toy for both of them, taking it and loving it. Your pussy squeezed and clenched when you were close, and when you did end up coming you were so loud and pathetic. You choked and gagged as you came onto Megumi’s long dick, taking it so well. Just the sight was enough to send Yuji over the edge, but he didn’t want to cum in your mouth. He pulled out a few seconds before and grabbed your chin, tilting your head up. Your tongue hung out lazily as you stared at his head, pulsating as he began to stroke his length.

“Close your.. Mm- eyes,” he muttered, stroking himself quicker and quicker until he splattered all over your pretty little face. You opened your mouth wider to catch it, letting it sprinkle on your forehead and down your nose. You had never had your face decorated like this, it was so strange. Warm and hot, sticking onto your skin and making you somewhat regret being a cumslut. Yuji wiped some cum off your eyelid and lightly cooed, mumbling about how pretty you looked covered in his sperm.

You couldn’t really hear him, still getting fucked from behind. Megumi didn’t stop, he was so close to finishing he couldn’t. He wanted to fill you up and fuck it right back into your battered little cunt. You gasped and let your eyes flutter open, staring up at Yuji so needily, whining. You wanted his cock right back in your mouth, didn’t you? You wanted to suck and lick along the sides and gag as he mouth fucked you. Instead, though, Yuji knelt down and grabbed your face, bringing you into a wet kiss. You couldn’t complain, this felt just as good. Megumi whimpered and slammed his hips into your ass a few more times, as you realized he was cumming. It felt just as sticky and warm as getting a load shot on your face did. You gasped and arched your back, feeling him pump you full of his aching seed. You wanted him to keep going and thrust into you, but he slowly came to a stop.

He was panting wildly behind you, squeezing your skin as he came down, “..Guys..” Megumi cleared his throat and leaned over, tapping your head to pull you from the kiss.

Yuji glanced over at him, “What?”

“Hm?” You looked at Megumi with a dazed expression, half hearing him and half being fucked so dumb you couldn’t.

“Can we, uh,” he looked away, a bit of an annoyed expression appearing on his face, “All date?”

Yuji blinked a few times, “Like a throuple?”

“Yes, like a throuple, idiot.”

[redroomreflections]

Well Worth The Wait

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader Summary : R and Nat have a night alone - based on The Loud House couple that can be found on A03

Note: These are reuploads.

18+ Minors DNI (it's smut)

w/c: 4k

The door slowly opened to reveal the scene beyond. In the living room of Natasha’s suite were candles lit up in various spots. Some are taller than others, and some brighter than others. Rose petals lined a trail to the middle of the room where there was a picnic-like setting waiting for you. A champagne bottle sitting on ice. It all added to the ambiance of the room. You stepped further inside, and Natasha’s footsteps could be heard behind you through the clacking of her heels against the floor. She reaches for your hand when she realized you’ve stopped.

“I guess Sam does know how to decorate,” You comment as you find a fully decorated table for dinner. This evening had been planned for weeks. A night at the Compound. A date for just the two of you to reconnect and talk with each other. Here you had total privacy. Soundproof walls, nice air conditioning, and a fully stocked fridge. No kids running around. No phones. No work emails. A luxurious night if you do say so yourself. Natasha’s suite in the Compound is huge. It's kind of romantic if you think about it. Every time you’re here you remember the nights you spent together before marriage. The times you promised each other the world. Crazy how things turn out.

“Sam said dinner will be ready in twenty minutes,” Natasha tilts her chin towards the kitchen where you can smell the fragrance of whatever is cooking wafting through the air. “For now how about drinks?” She suggests and you nod. You watch as Natasha struts into the kitchen. You decide to stay behind and explore a bit more. There’s a blanket right in front of the fireplace. Sam’s doing? Along with a red box that you’re sure you’re not supposed to touch. Curiosity gets the best of you and you walk over to shake it. Could this be the gift? You know the one. Natasha promised to give it to you the night of Christmas but Paige broke a fever so you rainchecked. Then Charlie got sick too. Then the rest of the house. Next thing you knew it was time for work again. Weeks went by and you never got around to opening your gift. That doesn’t mean you forgot about it. Natasha mentioned it once or twice in passing. She knew how to keep you wanting more. Which is why you’re so excited to open it. Your fingertips trace across the red ribbon, pinching close together to rip it open when you hear Natasha’s footsteps once again.

You pretend as if you weren’t going to touch anything and instead walk over to the double doors of the suite. There’s a balcony here. It overlooks the beautiful forest of upstate NY. You reminisce on the nights you would sit here with your laptop and phone. You’d work and work some more until Natasha was done with her Avenging duties. When she finally arrived home she would come and sit in your lap, give you a big kiss, and fall asleep in your arms. It’s amazing how so much of your life has changed. In a way, the suite was your first apartment together, and now you have a home with your littles.

“What are you thinking about?” Natasha asks as you turn to her. She passes you a full tumbler before taking a sip of her own drink.

“You,” You swirl the liquid around in the cup, watching the ice ding against the edge, before taking a drink. Screwdriver. Vodka and orange juice. Not a bad drink though you think Natasha mixed it for your benefit. “Us.”

“A lot to think about then,” Natasha lowers her drink. She follows your line of sight to the infinity pool directly below you. Many nights she’d watch you swim. You were always so graceful.

“Did you ever think we’d be here?” You glance over at her. “When you think about the beginning and everything we went through. You and Me. Did you ever think we’d have this?”

“I did,” Natasha shrugs. “When I allowed myself to. I’ve only ever wanted it. This. With you.” She confirms. In the beginning, your relationship with Natasha wasn’t easy. It was rough and heartbreaking, and pain-inducing all at once. It was also fun, and exhilarating, and everything you dreamed of all rolled into one. In the distance, there’s a timer that goes off. Dinner is ready. You follow Natasha into the kitchen. She sets her glass down on the counter in exchange for oven mitts. She takes out the pan of lasagna. “There’s a salad in the fridge. It’s fresh. Can you pull that out?” She asks and you quickly get to work. You spruce it up, making sure it's to your liking before you both carry everything into the living room.

It’s there you sit across from each other. Natasha is wearing a dress and so she opts to have a pillow sitting in her lap.

“For modesty,” She said even though you’ve seen everything she has to offer. Not that you mind seeing it again. In fact, you welcome it. You take care to fill both of your plates with food. Though you’re sure Natasha will be eating off of yours.

You engage in small talk. It’s odd to do all things considered but you find that you enjoy it. Any time you could get with Natasha was always cherished.

“I love what you did with your hair,” She rests her chin on her hand to admire you. You knew she would. Your hair took hours to do. From the wash routine to the straightening and curling, and down to the styling. Your hair falls into soft ringlets around your face, barely brushing past your shoulders.

“Try not to mess it up,” You take in a forkful of lasagna. Promises of what’s to come in the air between you.

“I make no promises,” She laughs. She takes another sip of her drink to finish it off.

“You made me wait a long time,” You gesture to the box still waiting to be opened.

“I assure you it will be well worth it,” Natasha promises. She scoots around the table to come and sit next to you. You immediately open up to her so that she can crawl into your arms. She kisses your jaw several times before settling her head on your shoulders. “I know it’s been a long while since we have been intimate.”

“A while,” You repeat jokingly. Natasha nods. It’s been a month. A long month. Not that you’re counting or anything. “It has been but it doesn’t matter because I have you all night and all morning.” You tap her nose. “Maybe we can take a bath? A massage? I know you like those.”

“You’re so good to me,” She murmurs.

“I’m only giving back what I receive,” You kiss the side of her head. For a moment, you two sit together in silence. Natasha takes your hands into her lap to toy with your wedding ring on her finger. A small symbol of your love. You haven't taken it off since the day you said 'I Do'. Neither has she with the exception of missions and fieldwork.

“Y/n,” She says. You lift your head up to look down at her. “I’d like for us to do this more often.” She turns to look at you. “I want us to always make this time for each other. It hasn’t been long but it feels like it’s been ages.”

“Having four children will do that to you,” You nod in agreement. “I promise. A night to us. Whenever we can.”

“You want another drink?” Natasha asks and you enthusiastically pass her your cup. You would be making the most of tonight.

Another hour passes where you simply sit and enjoy each other’s company. Every so often one of you will bring up a new topic or random thing that comes to mind. Overall you just want to spend time with your wife and you’re doing exactly as you planned. As the night winds down, you’re even more excited to be opening ‘The Gift’.

************************

“Spunk?” You test the phrase on your lips. You snort at the word written in large white letters along the black-wrapped casing of the bottle. What an interesting yet accurate name for a semen-like lubricant. Natasha glances over at you from her spot beside the bed. She’s lighting more candles here in the bedroom. You would help but you’re feeling a bit…light.

“The girl in the store said it was the best-selling option,” Natasha murmurs as she lifts the small red box. She places it in front of you. You’re still stuck on the fake cum. It’s such an exciting concept—one of your wildest fantasies coming true. The black bottle is simple and pretty self-explanatory. You turn it over in your hands. It’s new. “Could it be any more obvious?” You twist open the cap, and bring the open lid to your nose, to smell the fragrance. You scrunch your nose, anticipating something weird, and only get a citrusy smell in return. “Babe is this safe to be using inside you?” You ask. You’re a bit unsure. You try to read the ingredients on the back. The print is incredibly small. You squint. Interesting.

“I’ve tried it,” Natasha shrugs.

Wait. Pause. You lower your hand to look over at her.

“On yourself?” You ask and she rolls her eyes.

“No, on Wanda,” She jabs but at your interested look she changes her tune. “Yes on myself.” She says exasperatedly.

“Damn, that’s hot.” You mutter. Visuals of Natasha touching herself flash through your mind. You can imagine how good she looked with her fingers stuffed inside of her dripping wet pussy. You picture her face as she spread the sticky substance over her clit. Damn. You can’t wait to be able to do the same.

“It doesn’t take much for you, huh?” Natasha rounds the bed to stand between your legs. Your hands take their usual spot on her hips. You squeeze the skin underneath your fingers, eyeing her cleavage before looking into her eyes. She’s amused.

“Well, when my wife looks like this,” You shrug. Could she really blame you? “My panties are flooded every time you look my way.”

Natasha hums as she swipes her thumb across your bottom lip. “How much did you have to drink again?”

“Not enough,” You open your mouth to allow her to slip her finger inside of it. You suck on the digit, swirling your tongue over the edge of it before you release it with a pop. You purse your lips, hoping she gets the hint. She does. Natasha leans down to press her lips against yours. You moan at the taste of her. Strawberries and cream. Was she wearing lipgloss? You swipe your tongue against her lips asking for permission. Natasha obliges. Her tongue tentatively licks yours. You return the sentiment with enthusiasm. You pull back and look into her dilated- lust-filled eyes before you dive back in. Kissing Natasha would never get old. You don’t ever want to lose the feeling of absolute love and adoration you feel. The blooming in your chest that seemed to explode whenever she touched you is euphoric. She breathes harshly before pushing against your shoulders. You don’t have to be a master in body language to know what she wants. You lie back against the sheets pulling her down with you. She straddles your lap, her fingers finding the buttons of your creme satin button-down. One by one, your skin is exposed to the cooler air of the room. She pushes her fingers under the fabric, finding your nipple already a hardened peak.

“Nat,” You moan into her mouth as she pinches and tugs. She pries herself from your lips to kiss a trail from your neck to your chest. She nudges the covering away with her nose to take your nipple between her lips. She sucks, licks, and lathes until she’s satisfied. Then she moves over to your other breast to give it much of the same treatment. You thread your fingers through her hair. “Nat, fuck, I need you.” You’re not usually this needy. Not this compliant. She’s leading and you’re enjoying it. You know she does too. Much like your shirt, she unbuttons your pants, gripping the belt loops to tug them down your waist. You lift your hips to aid her.

“Here?” She questions as she pushes your legs apart. You nod wordlessly. You’d like her tongue on you. In you. Natasha settles on her stomach, no doubt preparing herself for a ride, as she kisses and bites at your inner thigh. The skin is sensitive there as her hair tickles with every move she makes. You look up at the ceiling in anticipation. The first lick is kitten-like. The second has your mouth dropping open as she pushes your panties further to the side. She wants full access. Natasha licks and licks until finally, she sucks your clit into her mouth. The moan you let out is low and guttural. The high you feel as she gives you her all. It never ceased to amaze you at how well she knew your body. Natasha knows every spot to lick and touch. Every inch and how to play it well. She raises one hand to spread your legs wider. When she’s sure you’ll be staying put, she presses two fingers at your entrance. The fill is amazing. She pumps into you, matching the rhythm of your hips, as she fucks you. You’re not going to last long, You’ve been wanting this. Your moans are frequent. Tumbling out of you like a mantra as she brings you to orgasm. You flutter around her fingers, clenching violently, as she hums. The vibrations give you the much-needed push as you lay spent. Finally, with a little reluctance, Natasha releases your clit from her mouth. She kisses your inner thigh again before coming to lie next to you.

You try to catch your breath. Your head lolls to the side to look over at her with glassy eyes.

“Fuck,” You breathe. She chuckles lowly. Does she know what she does to you? The power that she holds? “Give me a minute and I will absolutely rock your world.”

“I don’t doubt that for a second,” Natasha helps you out of your shirt. Next, she takes off her own clothes, a fiery red dress with laced backing, leaving her in nothing but her panties and heels. Five-inch stilettos that show off her toned legs. She reaches down to take them off and you tap at her.

“Leave them on,” You plead and she releases the straps. “Come here,” You whisper. “I want you here with me.” You say. She nods. She crawls over to you, settling herself on your hips, before leaning down again. “How did I get so lucky?” You ask rhetorically as you look into her eyes. She smirks. You know the one. She’s just a little bit shy about this entire thing and you find that endearing and so sexy. Having a soft moment when you’re about to do nothing but dirty things to her is an amazing thing.

“So I’m guessing I mixed those drinks a little too well?” Natasha murmurs as she traces her fingers along your cheek.

“Extremely well,” You nod your head in agreement. “I’m not drunk. Honest.” You laugh at Natasha’s eyebrow raise. “I’m just really in love with you?”

“Is that a question?”

“Not even,” You shake your head. “I really want to fuck you now.” You confess and this causes Natasha to giggle. She finds the tipsy version of you quite funny. “Are you going to finally let me get my gift?” You ask with a pout. “It’s been so long.”

Natasha reaches above your head, her breasts in your face, as she reaches for the box. You watch the firm soft globes, hanging freely before you raise your head to give one of them a soft bite. Natasha flinches in surprise, dropping the box next to you as she sits up again.

“That’s the mood you’re in tonight?” She asks amusedly. She opens the box, pulling out the dildo along with its harness.

“Nat,” Your eyes widen. “This one looks so realistic.” You take the toy in your hand. It’s at least 8 inches long. Thick and veiny. A smooth tip. The same color as your skin and you don’t know if she made that choice for you or her but you’re not complaining at all. The phallus has a pair of testicles that you’re inclined to squeeze until Natasha lies a hand over yours to stop you.

“It’s filled,” She says and you immediately understand what she means. You turn over the dildo in your hands.

“So, I can cum inside you?” You ask in wonderment. Okay. Maybe you’re just a little bit drunk but you feel like it’s Christmas and your birthday rolled into one . “Oh, babe, I have to use this on you.”

“Are you sure you can handle it?” She asks.

“Positive,” You stand to fix the harness around your hips. Next is the dildo that you attach with ease. Natasha looks so delicious sitting before you. Her legs were crossed at the ankle. Her eyes showed her absolute desire and hunger for you. When you’re sure everything is fixed into place accordingly, you crawl into the bed. You bracket your arms around her body, her legs parting automatically, as the head of the penis slides against her panty-covered core. Natasha’s lips drop open as she closes her eyes to enjoy the feeling. You kiss her open mouth first. Then her cheeks, her jaw, behind her ear. Anywhere you can get your lips on. You give a tiny lick to the hollow of her neck. She moans slightly. Your hips cant into her, gliding against her folds, as you prepare her. “Do you need to cum first?” Your lips ghost against her skin. “Need you to be ready for me baby.” You say.

Natasha is lost in the pleasured feeling of the cock against her clit. Even through her panties, it's sending her reeling. Natasha nods just as your fingertips trace along the waistband of her underwear. “Leave them on?” You question, thrusting a bit harder causing Natasha to gasp as it sends shockwaves through her body. You angle your hips to have the head of the cock poke just slightly at her entrance. Not enough to breach but enough to promise what's to come. You duck your head, biting at the soft tissue of her breast, as you start a steady rhythm. It’s essentially dry humping. Though from the wet spot and the way her underwear sticks to the lips of her pussy there’s nothing dry about it. You lick at her nipple, teasing it with the tip of your tongue, as Natasha whimpers below you.

“You’re teasing,” Natasha says in between labored breaths.

“Teasing?” You question. You circle your hips, paying attention to what makes her moan, to pull the most pleasure out of her. Natasha comes with a long whimper as she stiffens underneath you. Her whole body stills even as her hips continue to search for that pleasure. “That’s so good, baby.” You release her nipple from your mouth with a pop. Natasha simply kisses you. She kisses your face and neck her hand slipping up to your chest to push you on your back.

You’re impatient but excited. You lie back against the pillows to make yourself comfortable. Natasha rids herself of her panties before she straddles you. She uses her pussy lips to grind against the toy. Her juices glisten with every swipe she does. When she decides that she’s ready, Natasha lifts up, taking the penis in her hand to direct it to her entrance. You can feel the weight of her against you as she sinks down onto it. She breathes through her nose. She closes her eyes in an effort not to come too quickly as she takes it all in.

From your angle it looks absolutely heaven-like. You can see her having a bit of trouble with the last inch so you place your thumb directly along her clit, providing tight circles that catch Natasha off guard as she takes the last inch.

“Good job, baby.” You praise. You never take your finger off her clit as she lifts her hips again. The sigh that leaves her lips is followed by an even louder moan as she drops down again. You let out your own moan at the sight of her. Natasha’s hand wraps at your wrist pulling you away to place them on her hips.

“Too fast,” She mutters. She doesn’t want to come too quickly. You nod, using your hands to guide her, as she finds what makes her feel good. In turn, it makes you feel good too. Natasha’s motions are quicker. Rougher. As she rides you with abandon. You set this pace this time. Up until this moment, she’s been in charge. Not anymore. You can tell she likes the change as you grip her hips, forcing her up and down, as you thrust into her. You’re thankful for the ab workouts you’ve taken as you thrust up.

“Fuck,” You say to yourself as your eyes travel to where you and Natasha meet. She looks so full like this. She’s spread open so wide, bouncing along your cock, her clit brushing against your pelvis. After a particularly hard thrust, Natasha crumbles, folding into herself, as she leans further down. Her lips are against your ear now, her moans louder, more brazen, as you fuck into her.

“Yes, baby, yes, fuck,” Natasha babbles into your ear. You make a bold move, raising your hand before slapping her left ass cheek. It gives a loud echo through the room just as Natasha clenches at the slight pain. You smack again harder this time and she cries out again. “Yes, yes, yes.” She sounds like a broken record as she sings your praises. One thing about Natasha. She has stamina. She could do this all day. Most days. Except now, it’s been so long since she had you like this and you’re fucking her so well and you’re not giving her a chance to recover as she climaxes around your cock. She’s seated upright again, her back arching, her nails digging into your forearms as she clenches around you. You follow her headfirst into your own orgasm, your hips increasing their thrusting into hers before you drop back down onto the mattress. Natasha falls along with you.

You rub against her back, pulling the cock out of her gently, before rubbing at her cheeks. They’re probably red from how many times you smacked them and you’d be hearing about it later. For now, it was worth it. Natasha lies down tiredly in your arms. She stretches her legs and curls into you.

“Good?’ You ask and she nods. She nuzzles her nose in your neck. “I’m not done with you.” You inform her and she nods again. She already knew. You’d give her five minutes and that’s all she could wait. When you promised her tonight you meant it. You reach for the water bottle on the nightstand. You crack it open and take long sips out of it. You pass it to Natasha who tiredly takes a long gulp.

When you feel both of you have recovered enough, you flip Natasha onto her back. Missionary. A simple position. Top tier if you do say so yourself. You get to see Natasha and all of her expressions of pleasure. You get to hold her down and make her take whatever you’re giving. Natasha helps you guide the cock to her entrance. Both of you share a breath as you press into her. You kiss her forehead, murmuring words of encouragement, as she takes every single inch.

“So damn tight,” You bend yourself slightly at the knees. Her hips wrapped around your waist, your hand on her thigh to keep her spread, as you hump into her. “You’re always so wet.” You mutter into her skin. “Are you going to let me fuck you all night?” You practically growl and Natasha simply nods her head. She’s too lost in the pleasure to give you anything of substance. This round is hard and fast. You don’t hold back as you pound into her. Your thrusts are sharp and short, causing her breasts to bounce with the force, as Natasha begins to whimper again. Her whimpers quickly turn into moans when you turn your attention to her neck to place another bite. Natasha gasps, arching her back, and you can feel things become a bit slicker as she floods your cock.

“Yes,” She manages to moan out. You sit up so that you can kiss her lips.

“Whose pussy is this?” You ask. You’re feeling bold. Probably something you both will laugh at later. For now, you need her to say it. "Whose is it?"

"Yours," She wheezes. She doesn't really know up or down right now.

You can feel that familiar coil in your stomach. You reach down between the two of you, making enough room to toy with her clit, as you want to come at the same time. You slam into her and this time Natasha practically screams.

“Oh fuck, yes, Daddy,” Natasha moans and you almost do a double take. She’s never called you that before. Suddenly that’s all you want to hear from her.

“Say it again,” You command, and Natasha’s eyes open just slightly to question. “Say it.” You thrust into her again and Natasha grips your forearms for purchase.

“Daddy,” Natasha cries and you practically come on the spot. You angle your hips again, gripping hers in your hand, as you thrust harder and harder and harder until Natasha reaches her peaks, and you fall quickly behind her. You know your grip will bruise later and you’ll apologize when the time comes. Instead, you squeeze the balls of the fake cock, making sure to keep your hips still, as it spills into Natasha in thick spurts. She is thrown into another small orgasm as her insides are painted with the sticky substance.

You kiss across her forehead, tapping at her hips again, and she loosens them as you pull out. You look down between the two of you, her pussy still pulsing, the fake semen dripping from her and onto the blanket. You take two of your fingers, sliding them through her core to collect the mixed fluids to bring to your mouth.

“Nat?” You question when her hips jump at the feel of your fingers. She’s sensitive and exhausted. You lean back, the cock bobbing in the air though you ignore it, as you help her take off the heels. Really you’re doing all the work and she lies there.

“Mhmm?” She responds without ever opening her eyes.

“This was the best present ever,” You say and she laughs. A full belly laugh that has you laughing too.

It was well worth the wait.

[muzzlemouths]

Part 1 of a oneshot based on @juicyyyboxxx's Valentine's Day art because it's lived in my head for months. so if this breaks your heart you have them to blame 💕

WC: 1400

The rejection is familiar. It bites like teeth on flesh, a deep and aching bruise, unseen, it offers no catharsis without the bitter taste of crimson beneath. Circuits sting and spark under plates of cold metal and a heart that tick tick ticks to a pre-programmed pulse. Alive by electric veins, each breath is painfully artificial. That's why they always leave, isn't it?

How silly it is to think this time might be different. Yes, silly, that’s what they always tell him. What a silly robot, with silly little feelings he himself doesn’t understand and a silly heart that goes 01100010 01100101 01100001 01110100 (beat) 01100010 01100101 01100001 01110100 (beat) 01100010 01100101 01100001 01110100 (beat).

He is exhausted by its rhythm. Disheartened each time a scraped knee leaks oil and not blood. It didn’t use to be this way, of course. This dysphoria of sorts is recent — a development which stems from not one rejection, not two, but a number that can’t be contained when counting on both hands. He is made to watch, not to keep. The children come and go. Their parents, too. His coworkers find him endearing, charming, amusing, silly silly silly silly silly.

But not worth staying for.

He tries writing letters, assuming (hoping) that it is his voice or maybe his face which scares them away. Maybe he can’t find the right words, and his hesitance is too ugly to bear. Maybe it’s a matter of not saying the right things, or not saying enough of them. Writing it down will fix this, he thinks, and so he gets to work.

The first letter isn’t good. No, no, it isn’t good at all. He tries it again. This one isn’t much better. That’s okay! He has plenty of paper, see, and all the time in the world to get this right.

Time swims through scribbled ink, his hours punctuated with each shake of his head and the crunching of paper, forced into a ball and tossed over the shoulder to be discarded at a later time. It’s terribly messy and goes against his very coding, but then again, so does this beating heart of his. So do these feelings.

It’s a bug, he thinks. A sickness. There must be something wrong with him, surely. He can’t think of another reason for this madness. There are butterflies where his wires ought to be, a warmth in his chest that no amount of fans can reckon with. He feels so strongly about this. About you. And this time, the letter is perfect.

It has to be.

If it results in that familiar sting once more, well, he doesn’t think he will have the strength to try again.

He spots your orange sneakers from across the room and makes towards them like a bee, high on hope, catching you by your name just as you reach the exit doors. Your heel turns to question him, and your smile is thin. Polite. You want to clock out and be home, already.

The paper in Sun’s hands is folded neatly, basic printer white. The adhesive of a red heart sticker keeps the letter in place. His fingers tap-tap-tap against it for one anxious minute before he works up the courage to hand it over.

“Seeing as it’s Valentine’s Day, a-and everything,” he sputters, “I thought– well, why don’t you just give it a look?”

For all the opinions Moon had to share over the hours that the letter was being written, he is decidedly quiet now, of all times, when his voice and companionship is arguably needed most. There is a shared stillness to the room that is perfect as much as it is daunting as the letter is extended.

His gears tense like a held breath when you raise an eyebrow in his direction. You take it with the patience one might expect from any other retail worker; which is to say, too much. Your breezy attitude has him fidgeting with twice the enthusiasm, and the reasoning behind his restlessness is lost on you.

A confession lies between folded paper, unbeknownst to you, ready to be heard if you will humor him and listen. Your eyes return to the letter with an inquisitive hum.

Taking little care in preserving it, you break his heart.

Sun watches on with quiet resolve as the sticker is ripped in two, and the paper unfolded. He dares not move or utter a word as your eyes look over the small poem written in crayola purple. Short and sweet, with the intention of making his feelings for you known without it becoming too cheesy, he thinks it gets the job done well enough. His best letter yet! This assumption is further bolstered when your mouth upturns into a lopsided smile, but he can’t quite read your face.

Then comes the laughter.

Short, curt, a quick exhale through your nostrils more than anything else, as though he’s just told a joke that you found particularly–

“Oh, Sun…”

The letter is returned to him with that same humoring expression on your face, and it is here where he realizes that the look in your eyes isn’t returned affection at all. It’s pity.

“This is very sweet,” you insist, nudging the paper forward a second time when he doesn’t immediately take it back, “but it’s not like that between us, right? I mean, we’re friends, but…you didn’t seriously think this would work out, did you?” Another laugh, and this one stings. “Don’t be silly.”

There is an echo of understanding between his code. Your words don’t offer him the kindness of sinking in slow, rather, they cascade through his audio processors like a slap to the face, one after the other.

There it is again. Silly, silly, silly. Yes, indeed, how silly it was of him to think he could ever be anything more than a hunk of metal in human clothes, pretending to be something he’s not. At the end of it all, it’s not his face, or his voice, or the words he is too scared to say. It’s him. Silly, silly him.

And he is not something that can be fixed with crayon words and sticker hearts.

“…Sun?”

“Of course!” He abruptly straightens with a vocal tick of metal on metal, swiping the letter from your hands as if it burned you. “Of course I wasn’t being serious,” he continues, “it was a joke — a joke! You know me, silly ol’ Sunny. Just thought I’d give you a laugh before you went home for the night, is all!”

Printer paper white folds neatly over shaking hands. You might have questioned it were you not in so much of a hurry to get home, but as it stands you have more important things to get to, and a subtle tremor isn’t too out of the ordinary for the animatronic, anyway. Old wires, if you had to guess. The company really ought to get that fixed.

“Good one,” you say, a third and final laugh spilling between your grimace. “Well, I should get out of here. Thanks for helping out today.” Your eyes flicker towards the exit, then back, again, to where he waits like a statue, unmoving and with that same ever-constant expression staring back. “See you tomorrow?”

Something clicks and buffers in his voicebox as he realizes you’re waiting for an answer, a thousand responses readying themselves between the silence, questions he’s never dared to ask. How is any of this fair? Is it in vain, all these hours and days and years spent toiling with words that go no where, and feelings he isn’t allowed to have? To run his circuits ragged chasing after a heart he can’t keep? Am I better off alone, he wonders.

“See you tomorrow!” He says instead.

You can’t help but feel a twinge of guilt rising in your chest as the door clicks shut behind you. He sounded so genuine, you might have actually believed it if he were in any way built to host those kinds of emotions. You assume that he’s just mimicking them, instead. Putting on a show like he used to do before the daycare became his new objective. And yet, the idea of an animatronic truly feeling anything in the way of love makes you smile just a little as you head for the parking lot.

“…What a silly robot.”

[auteurdelabre]

SO MUCH TO LOSE CHAPTER 11: SNOW

Rating: 18+

words: 15.2k

a/n #1: He's problematic but I love him your honor.

a/n #2: I LOVE Y'ALL for loving this fic! I see your comments and they warm my heart. I get inspired, I start writing the next chapter. I just fuckin love y'all. Please keep up the support here and on my A03.

SERIES MASTERLIST

REBLOGS, COMMENTS, ENGAGEMENT ARE WHAT KEEP US FIC WRITERS GOING. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT IF YOU ENJOYED THIS.

Chapter 11: Snow

It's one of those nights where the weather feels biting and the snow heavy. The kind of weather that urges you to stay indoors and keep warm. 

Luke invited you and Jennifer to the Bison for karaoke earlier but you declined, citing you had other plans. 

Plans which involve the cup of tea at your elbow, the paperback in your hands and the fire going in the hearth. You feel cozy and warm and are almost drifting off when a knock at the door sounds. 

You slip out from under the blanket over your legs, padding over to the door and opening it a crack to see a familiar face.

"Oh, hey Tommy."

The younger Miller comes in, shaking off the flakes from his shoulder. He lets the cold in, taking his time entering your home before closing the door behind him. 

"Hey sorry to be callin' so late."

"Oh it's fine," you insist, suppressing a yawn. "You wanna drink?"

"Nah this'll be quick." Tommy sniffles, the end of his nose red from the cold. "S'about patrols."

"Uh huh?"

Tommy looks curiously uncomfortable, like a child who's been forced to apologize for something he feels he's not responsible for. 

"I was thinkin' and you don't have'ta do ‘em anymore. I'll find someone to take over your spot if you need." 

Tommy's face holds a myriad of expression, concern being the most predominant. Yours however holds nothing but confusion. 

"Who?"

"Uh, was thinkin' of that Jennifer girl," Tommy says, hands deep in his coat pocket. He shifts from foot to foot slowly. "She seemed pretty up for it before. Was gonna head over to her place after this and ask her to take over til we find someone new to train." 

This feels like a punch in the gut. 

Useless. 

The word Joel used when you first began. The word you thought you'd outgrown comes back like a sharp slap across the cheek. Your fingernails dig into the wood frame around the door, clinging to it.

The fire crackles dimly in the background, a soundtrack to your humiliation. Tommy can't look you in the eyes now and you have a feeling you know why. It makes you feel small and pathetic. 

"Do you..." The words don't come easily, you have to force them. "Do you think I'm not good enough to be on patrols?"

"No," Tommy answers quickly, eyes wide and head shaking vehemently. "No. Not at all. This is just... I know back when you started you said you didn't really wanna do it. Preferred kitchen duty."

"Yeah."

"And we got some new blood in town lately, so I figured, you know..." 

They think I'm useless. 

Why else would Tommy be offering this? Stories must have gotten around. Maybe Luke said something in passing about you being stuck with window patrol while they did repairs. Maybe Jennifer was worried that you were being treated poorly. 

Maybe Joel doesn't want you as his partner anymore.

That seems the most likely and somehow stings the most. A thought skitters across your brain like an unwelcome insect that makes your face grow cloudy.

"Did Joel tell you I'm bad on patrols or something? Is that the real reason you're here?"

"No. Joel never said you were bad on patrols." 

If Tommy's lying he's doing a damn good job of it. Still, it feels like he's editing himself, holding something back. 

You swallow, feeling a lump forming there. Part of you thinks it would be so easy to give in and agree to stopping. So easy to never have to put up with Joel's snide remarks or the panic you feel outside the gates. 

But there is something in the loss of that challenge that frightens you more. Something that feels worse than useless, it feels like cowardice. Something that feels like The Group wins even if they hold no power over you anymore. You suppose that's what motivates you to address Tommy with what you hope sounds like confidence. 

"I'd like to continue with them," you say to the ground at his feet. "If that's okay with you."

"You sure?"

You nod, watching an uneasy smile spread across his handsome features. Like he shouldn't be glad about your response but is. 

"All right, then. I'll skip my next stop."

He leaves with a wave and you watch him trudging through the snow out the window, your arms coming to wrap around yourself, but not because of the cold. 

///

"Focus and aim." 

You grit your teeth before narrowing your eyes and focusing all your attention on the empty tin can sitting on the fence. It's cold today, biting, and the scarf you wear wraps around the lower half of your face. 

You hold the weapon as you've been training, aiming with not your right eye but your left. 

You inhale, your ears pricked at every sound. All the birds chattering in the trees, the wind that blows the faraway sound of the townspeople. Even Jennifer's light breathing behind you. You make it all go quiet. 

"Fuck I can't. It's too loud out here."

"Loud?" Jennifer glances around the two of you, completely alone in the field. 

"Yeah. Birds, wind, echoes...."

You shift restlessly before bringing the shotgun back up to your eye level. You want to get this right. 

"Think of something calming," Jennifer urges, her eyes falling over your face as you focus. "Something that makes everything go quiet." 

Something that makes everything go quiet. 

Something calm.

Something that quells the frenetic beating of you heart.

Something that gives you that sweet blissful escape.

You try to think of that first sip of tea after a long day. How it mixes with the honey on your tongue, how you savor it. But it's not enough.

You think of the way running water sounds.

 The sensation of sunlight on your bare shoulders.

The soft muzzle of Chesnut.

Joel.

His dark eyes meeting yours when you knelt at his feet that last time. When his hand went to your cheek.

That's when everything felt safe and quiet. 

Jennifer seems to notice the steadying of your breathing because she nods approvingly as you let out a slow exhale. 

"Now shoot."

You don’t want to think of Joel. He can’t be your safe thought. You force your mind to think of something else. 

Making pastries with Ellie.

The sound Chestnut makes when he eats carrots. 

Your sisters smile. 

You pull the trigger, feeling as the weapon kicks back against your braced shoulder. The sound of the blast makes you wince. 

The can doesn't even move a fraction. 

"So close!" Jennifer insists, shielding her eyes from the glare of the grey sky on the snow. "It definitely grazed it." 

"Won't do much good grazing a clicker," you frown, lowering the weapon. Wind whips stray strands of your hair against your ruddy cheek. 

Oh c'mon now," Jennifer says trying to rouse your spirits. "We've been practising for weeks and you're getting so much better."

When Tommy came to offering you the repeat of patrols, you should have taken him up on it. And yet something churned within your guts. Insisted that you continue on with Jennifer's coaching trying to perfect your shooting skills. 

Because there is no Chiyo. No protector. No benevolent figure to save you. It's just you now. You and you alone. And months ago the thought would have terrified you into never leaving your home. It would have burst into grateful tears at the thought of being let off the hook. 

But something's been changing these last few months, something that gets stronger with every lesson Jennifer gives you, with every gallop atop of Chestnut. Something that whispers: not useless.

You kick at a stray patch of dirty snow, angry at yourself. You want to be better but it's taking so long. You want to feel more confident on patrols but your aim isn't progressing fast enough for you. You want to prove yourself not useless. 

"Alright Smiley," Jennifer says slinging a companionable arm around your shoulder. "Let's go have breakfast."

///

Breakfast on cold days is always something warm like eggs or oatmeal with honey. Often there's hot chocolate which you take gratefully between your hands today. You make a note to pack one for patrols in the Thermos you keep at home. 

You sit across from Jennifer who is back lit by the morning sun and looks like a goddess. How is Joel not more obvious in his intention for her? He's handsome but he's also at least fifty. He shouldn't be so picky with his personality the way it is.

But then again from what you've seen there's a certain air around Joel wherever he goes. One that has women of all ages smiling shyly and stammering when he's in the vicinity. Once you saw one woman drop an entire bag of yarn when he walked by in town. She didn't notice for a full three minutes. 

"So how did baking go with Ellie?"

You're surprised by this question. You'd assumed that the whole baking with Ellie thing was private. You certainly haven't talked about it with anyone. 

"Uh, how did-"

"She's going around telling eve ryone at school that she was baking with you," Jennifer laughs. "My friend Rebecca teaches her."

You recall meeting Rebecca a few weeks ago at one of Jennifer's big friendly breakfasts. One where you sat quietly listening to the chatting figures around you, being drawn into the odd conversation but mostly keeping quiet. You never feel quite comfortable around big crowds.

"It was nice," you offer, wrapping your fingers around the warm mug a little tighter. 

You have no intention of telling her what actually occurred. You don't want to tell her about the trauma you endured before Jackson City or the pain that Ellie saw reflected in your eyes. Jennifer’s lips curl into a sensuous smile.

"Was Joel there?"

"Yeah, he was around for a bit." 

You don't meet her eyes as you say this. And for some reason you don't mention to her that Joel made that second batch of pastries or that he wasn’t rough with how he spoke to you. The whole experience feels too private, too sacred. No matter what, you won't be sharing that information. 

"Speaking of which..." Jennifer trails off, nodding her head towards the door of the dining hall. You don't even bother looking over your shoulder; you know that she's referencing Joel. 

You try not to look stiff but you are. You're still unsure of how to act around him after everything that happened. 

The two of you eat quietly as your mind goes back to that day on Rancher Street. You still don't know how you feel about Joel; you're still perplexed by his actions. One day he hates you the next day he can tolerate you. It's all very confusing and not a little irritating. 

"He's staring over here," Jennifer says a short while later, trying not to move her lips when she speaks. "Keeps sneaking looks every few minutes."

You feel a grin spreading over your features as your friend smiles prettily, pretending she doesn't notice her crush. Maybe Joel isn't as thick as you thought and there is hope for the two of them. 

Jennifer dabs a bit at the egg on her plate with her toast, her sleeves rolled up to showcase her delicate wrists. 

"So, you gonna ask him out?"

"Nah," Jennifer shakes her head before taking a long pull from her coffee mug. "Joel's an old fashioned guy. I can't see him being into that."

It strikes you as humorous that things like old-fashioned men are still a thing. After the world has gone to rot, you're still shocked that certain socially expected norms exist. 

"Maybe that's what he needs though," you offer diplomatically. "A kick in the pants from a pretty lady."

"There's plenty else I'd like to do with his pants."

You make a face and the two of you collapse into hushed laughter, tilting over your breakfasts. Jennifer claps a hand over your shoulder in amusement; her laughed ebbing when you flinch at the contact. Her eyes study you a moment before a voice behind you breaks in. 

"Mind if I join you two?"

Luke stands looking down at the both of you with a charming smile. His hair is mussed, obviously just woke it up. You're struck with how handsome he is in the early light of the day. 

"Course not," you say smiling up at him. 

He takes a seat next to Jennifer, his thick-lashed eyes on you. 

"Sorry I couldn't make it to practice this morning. Was tired from last night."

"Karaoke at the Bison, right?" Jennifer laughs. "Wish I could have been there to see that. I had to help the ladies with a textile emergency." 

"Where were you?" Luke asks, chewing his toast as he stares at you. 

"Reading," you admit with a shy glance at your fork. "I like reading in front of the fire in cold weather." 

You always have. It's a safety for you in many ways. Curled under a blanket with the fire hissing and your latest paperback in your hands. Something nostalgic and beautiful about the written word surviving everything. 

"Hopefully the window we repaired held up in all this snow," Luke offers, glancing over his shoulder out the window. Flakes are falling gently. 

"I'm sure it did, you guys are all good at that stuff," you offer kindly. Jennifer watches you and Luke with a look of satisfaction, like Cupid after a successful mission. 

"You excited about patrols?" he grins over at you. 

"How could I not be? I get to go with Mr. Congeniality," you drop your eyes to your plate when you hear Luke and Jennifer giggle. 

You feel buoyed by their laughter, it takes you back to a time in life when you enjoyed making people laugh. Funny cartoons about teachers sketched on lined paper. Giggling behind hands as they were passed between desks. 

"With my luck though he'll tell me I'm riding my horse wrong," you joke, encouraged on by their twittering laughter.

"Or hell, maybe I'm breathing wrong," you drop your voice several octaves, adopting Joel's twang. "Too much inhalin' enough exhalin'." 

When you don't hear laughter at this you look up from your eggs to see that both Luke and Jennifer have started to grimace, looking over your shoulder. 

"Just got the word that we gotta head out early today."

Fuck. 

Your shoulders go to your ears in embarrassment as you feel Joel's tall body standing behind you. 

"Looks like there's gonna be heavy snow this afternoon," Joel's rumbling baritone informs you the back of your head. 

"Okay," you tell him, shooting only a brief look at him over your shoulder before dropping your eyes back to your eggs because you're too humiliated to completely turn around. "I'll join you when we're done breakfast."

You need a few minutes to collect yourself. You know Joel just heard everything. You need to regroup, maybe get advice from Jennifer on how to handle this. 

"No time to wait," Joel insists, his tone flat. "S'go." 

You feel Luke and Jennifer staring at you during this exchange and you clench your jaw tightly in irritation. 

"I'll bus your tray," Jennifer offers quietly across from you. "You go on."

You shoot her a grateful look, nodding as you stand. Joel is waiting there at your back, heavy eyes staring at you as you pull your jacket on. He's already got the backpack on, a gun strapped to him. 

You follow him wordlessly out the dining hall and towards the front gates where Midnight and Chestnut wait for you. Joel gives you the second gun, waiting for you to throw it over your shoulder before watching you hoist yourself up on Chestnut. 

"You ok there?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" You shoot back. 

Fuck, he's already starting in on you. Probably pissed off since he caught you mocking him. He says nothing in response as he pulls himself up on Midnight, throwing a long leg over the horse's black coat. 

You give a wave to Hank before the gates are opened and you and Joel ride out. As always you follow his lead, eyes on the horizon as Tommy's words full your head. 

Raiders.  Be more careful. 

It would be just your luck to run into them. Or clickers. The thought makes you feel nauseated. You're still not a good enough shot. Grazing isn't killing. 

"Did Tommy tell you about-"

"The Raiders? Yeah."

He doesn't offer more than that. 

Joel is quiet today, maybe even thoughtful. He doesn't speak to you on the way out to Teton Village but it's not with that same hostility that usually surrounds him. It's just regular quiet. He's not rude, but he's not friendly either. If the two of you were even acquaintances you'd think he was miffed with you. As it is the two of you travel on in silence until Teton. 

It’s your week to check the traps and despite your fears, you feel more confident with a bit of firearms training from Jennifer. Despite this you find yourself sticking closer to Joel during this walk into the forest.

You circle the tall trees, jacket catching on a thick gnarled tree trunk before you tug it off. Joel doesn't angrily chastise you when you trip over a wet patch because of it and bump into his back. He just goes rigid, waiting for you to right yourself before continuing on. 

“Watch your step.”

Your shotgun is out, aimed at whatever you hear in the underbrush which just turns out to be birds. Snow begins, dusting your shoulders as the two of you head back to the tied horses. The traps were empty, a good and bad sign all in one.

You’re paranoid as you travel to the outpost, your eyes scanning the horizon and the passing landmarks looking for anything that could be a danger. Clicker. Person. Your talks with Ellie of The Group have you suffering from nightmares lately and that bleeds into your day, making you convinced you can see a shock of red hair or a hyena-like female laugh.

But that’s impossible.

You travel in tense silence all the way to Teton Village. The snow crunches under the hooves of the horses and you're thankful that the snow has taken a reprieve, leaving it just grey and blustery. 

Soon enough you are at the village, about to do your normal rounds of the perimeter. You're confused when Joel leads you towards outpost building instead. You tie up the horses across the street and down a few houses, much to your increasing confusion. 

The wood creaks under your boots as the two of you make your way up to the outpost. You stop in front of the door, hand going to the lock. His voice is at your back, quiet. You feel him standing close behind you, likely waiting for you to make a mistake. 

"You remember the new code?"

"Mhm."

You're pleased with yourself when you do and it unlocks without issue. You make your way inside, smiling to yourself as you kick off the excess snow from your boots and head towards the storage room. 

Joel is close behind you and memories of the lingering moments you shared inside this very room make themselves known when you feel yourself slick between your legs. You hate yourself for it just a bit, the way your body betrays you.

"Gonna check that the window's holdin' up. You handle the log book."

You nod, going to the waiting page and scribbling your names inside along with the time. Joel makes his way up the creaking steps, and you watch as his long legs carry him. After a moment you hear some hammering and assume that there are a few things in need of minor repair or additional reinforcement. 

You take this moment to scan some of the past entries, the most recent from the last group who was in here a few days ago.

Repairs look great. Thanks.

You take a minute to flip back, curious to see old passages from former patrols. You never really took the time to do so. Varieties of handwriting and printing fill some of the pages.

Donated Blankets (x4), jerky rations replaced (x4), water bottles (x4), matches (x1 box). HTH’s do not work here. Too much static. Nails and hammers needed for repair to library flooring.

Cramped writing, sprawling letters, so distinct and so personal. You keep flipping until you come upon last December 25th’s entry.

All I want for Christmas is to not be living in the apocalypse.

You smirk and turn the page back, finding the same handwriting a few months prior.

Who wants to go skiing?

Your smirk turns into a small giggle before you turn back to almost two years ago, eyes alighting on a longer entry that wipes the amusement from your face.

Infectected spotted near Weston’s Pharmacy during AM patrol. One woman; Bloater, one child; Stalker. Both shot and killed. No injuries to patrol members.

You wince as you read this just as Joel trudges down the steps. He must be finished with repairs. You watch as he grabs some of the feed for the horses from his bag and leaves without saying a word. He reappears moments later, shaking the snow irritated from his broad shoulders.

"S'really comin' down,” he murmurs as the two of you take your places at the table. He pushes your sandwich and thermos towards you across the table, sitting in the opposite chair and sighing.

"I like the snow," you murmur as you chew thoughtfully, eyes turned skyward out the window. 

"Won't like it when we have to ride back in it," Joel huffs between bites. He chews aggressively as if the universe conjured up the snow just to personally upset him. 

He's right though, riding back in it doesn't seem very fun. Lunch is a quick thing, both of you quiet before Joel tosses back a swig of his coffee and tells you he's going to fix up some loose boards upstairs.

You don't offer to help because you know there's not a chance he'll want it. Besides, your job is to be on lookout when he does repairs in case the sound draws attention. You finish your lunch, draining your thermos of its hot chocolate. You’re feeling the chill extra strong today.

Joel reappears not too long after hoisting his gun over his back. You look at him in curiosity because Joel looks like he's getting himself ready to leave. 

"You stay here, understand? Have your gun out, go stand watch." 

Everything in you goes rigid. Years of carefully anticipating the changing moods of your captors gives you a sixth sense, like rumbling thunder announcing a storm. 

Danger. 

"Why?"

"I'm gonna go check out the other buildings on foot," he explains in a quiet rasp. "See if the Raiders rumor was true." 

"Okay, I'll come with-"

"No." 

His voice is low and sharp, broaching no argument. You stare at him, gaze traveling between his endless eyes, blinking rapidly a moment. 

"I need you here coverin' me from that window"

He points to the southern window you were posted at last time. You nod at first before something stops you. You're not good with a gun, not yet. Especially at far distances. And Joel knows it. 

You don't mention this fact. Joel knows better than anyone that your shooting skills leave much to be desired. This is busy work. 

"But what if something happens to you?"

Joel's eyes sweep your face. 

"You're gonna hide." Joel starts for the bottom of the stairs, hand on the dusty railing. "Come with me." 

You follow him quietly, both sets of boots pounding the old wood steps as he leads you to one of the smaller rooms you don't often visit. 

It's cramped with peeling wallpaper and extra lumber and nails. It must be the storage room for such things. You notice the cord hanging from the center of the ceiling. 

Joel reaches up and grabs hold of it, tugging until it opens the hatch that lets down a wooden ladder. It's like the attic from your house when you were a kid. 

"Reinforced it after the window last week so I know it's sturdy," Joel informs you, dragging a thumb along the ladders edge. "You hear anything that sounds like yelling or guns n' you climb up this ladder and use the rope to pull it up after you." 

You tell yourself to be calm. That this won't happen. That Joel is an excellent shot. But you've seen too much in this world to live in that fantasy. 

"What if they find it?"

"You keep quiet and blow their fucking head off when they climb up. It's your best option.... Your only option."

"Why wouldn't I go to the horses? Escape that way?"

"If I'm dead, trust me you won't be able to outrun ‘em. Your best bet is to lay low until a search party comes the next day." 

"Okay." 

"I'm gonna leave this pulled down.”

Then he's going downstairs again, making sure you know exactly where to stand at the window so that you're covered by the majority of the shutters' frame. You nod, listening intently as you gaze at him. The thick chord of his neck, the way his shoulders make him look formidable. 

Is this the last time you'll ever see Joel Miller alive? 

You don't like that sensation that accompanies such a concept. Ellie would be without a father. The girl has already been through enough. 

"But nothing will happen, right?"

Joel pauses, dark eyes scanning your face. He must see something in it because his voice holds no malice. 

"Nothing bad will happen." 

You don't believe him. You don't like the way his eyes dart over your face, like he's trying to look for something. 

"Do you understand everything I've told you?"

You nod. 

"If you hear a gunshot you climb up into that attic." 

"But-"

"Say it," Joel commands, the patience is slowly ebbing from his voice. 

"Okay."

"You'll do what I say?"

"Yes. If I hear a gunshot or a scream I'll go up to the attic. I'll be quiet and if I have to I'll shoot them when they come up the ladder. Otherwise I wait for the search party."

"Good girl."

He says it brusquely as he brushes past you and down the stairs. You don't have time to ask him anything else because he's already at the front door. 

He casts one look at you over his shoulder, confusing you with his stare before the door shuts behind him. 

And now you’re alone in this crumbling building. A sitting duck if Joel is captured or worse, killed.

You wanted to stay on patrols. You wanted this you fucking fool. 

You ready yourself at the window, watching as the tall figure of Joel makes his way through the snow. His curls float around his head in the wind and you feel a pang of anxiety at the thought of them splattered with his blood.

You watch the surrounding area for any movement and for once you think this is what you need to be doing. This is what you're good at. This is what you trained for in all those years entering abandoned buildings and scouring old barns for The Group.  

You can keep Joel safe.

There is no movement aside from his tall frame, and yet you still keep your gun raised, cocked and ready should you need it to be used. The snow makes it difficult though. Flakes are getting heavy and puffy, making it hard, but not impossible, to track Joel. 

You watch his long muscled legs work their way across the terrain, gun raised, body poised for attack. You marvel at how even from where you watch him high above he still gives a feeling of protector, of big. Of safe.

Soon enough Joel's frame moves behind the pharmacy, out of your eye line and you exhale slowly. 

He didn't say where he was going or for how long. An easy oversight, but in moments like this it feels unforgivable. 

Ten minutes go by.

Then twenty.

Then thirty. 

As you watch out the window with your gun poised you can't help but marvel at how quickly snow is blanketing the ground. Joel's tracks in the snow have long been covered up. 

When lightning steals across the sky and thunder booms loudly you feel it in your bones.

Thundersnow.

You’d heard some of the Wyoming long timers around town mention it at the Bison a few weeks back, but you’ve never actually witnessed it yourself. It’s surreal to see the snow drifting heavily as lightning cracks again.

The wind is picked up as well, whipping around the nearby trees. And yet you stand there like a statue, your gun aimed. It's only when you hear the distant whinny of one of the horses that you feel your heart leap to your throat. 

Chestnut. Midnight. 

In this weather they'll be suffering. Maybe even killed. You'd been so distracted by keeping vigilant over Joel that you hadn't even cast a second thought to them. Your body instinctively steps back from the window, eyes scanning over your shoulder.

He told you not to move. 

But he didn't know it was going to be a blizzard like this. 

You wrap the scarf around your neck and lower half of your face, stumbling out the door with your gun in front of you. You’ll be fast. You’ll bring the horses in and be back to the window before Joel ever realizes.

You sink into the snow easily; it comes just above your mid-calf over your boots. And it doesn't show signs of stopping any soon. It's so high that it immediately begins to seep into your boots, wetting your socks. 

You feel as if you're waiting through quicksand. But it doesn't stop you and your dogged pursuit to reach the two animals huddled together under the tree. They shake aggressively, trying to avoid the falling flakes.

Snow blankets the two along their back and their manes. You watch Midnight give a particularly aggressive jerk of his head only to have more flakes accumulate from the swollen sky above. They morph into icy rain pelting down the back of your neck, your cheeks and your shoulders.

The horses are pulling at their reins and rearing up on their back legs as you approach. 

"It's okay," you try to soothe, likely unheard over the storm. You reach your hand towards Chestnut’s bridle but he rears back at the clap of lightning that hits the sky at the same time.

“Chestnut it’s me! Calm down boy!”

You nearly scream when you feel a hand on your shoulder. You spin, aiming your gun shakily in front of you.

"S'me," the figure informs you. He pulls down his dark scarf and Joel's irritated expression is revealed. 

"You scared me."

He doesn't answer this, simply grabs Midnight by his bridle and gives a sharp click of his tongue. Midnight struggles at first, but ultimately relents, trailing after Joel like an obedient child. 

You quickly untie the slippery reigns from around the tree, attempting to tug at a very frightened Chestnut along. He comes down from his hind legs but his eyes are spooked. You slip in the wet snow, falling to your knees and hissing in pain. You grit your teeth, standing and attempting to pull Chestnut again.

"S'okay," you soothe, pulling him gently. He fights you, head twisting and the lightning cracks the sky. "Chestnut - C'mon-"

A sharp clap of thunder has him trying to pull from your grasp. You cry out as the reign rasps brutally around your knuckles. 

"Chestnut! Stop!" You shout, panicking as the horse continues to jerk away from you.  

Joel is back, his boots kicking against the deep snow. You feel him brush against your shoulder, large hand covering yours. 

"Give 'em here," he grunts, taking the reins from you and tugging forcefully. "C'mon, C'mon, get goin'."

Chestnut whinnies terrified and you back up as his hooves shoot out anxiously. Joel grunts again before his fist jerks the reign brutally. 

"Enough!"

Chestnut responds to this, eyes going to Joel and cowering. You watch in amazement as Chestnut bows his head, following after Joel with no more hesitation or defiance. 

The three of you head into the outpost building, dripping with wet snow as you enter. Midnight is in the main room staggering at the side. Joel shifts his hand and urges Chestnut to follow, closing the door behind you as you enter. 

"Sometimes you gotta be rough to get ‘em to listen," Joel explains, handing the reins off to you. "S'the only way to keep ‘em safe." 

You don't know that you agree with that assessment. You unhook the reigns from Chestnut before pressing a soft kiss to his twitching muzzle. You whisper soothing words, waiting for your dear horse to stop his shaking.

"We'll leave ‘em in here for tonight," Joel says to them before looking over at you. You’re shivering, eyes wide. You must look a fright as you cast a wide-eyed look around the room.

“The door is locked right?”

“’Course.”

You both breathe heavily a moment, your eyes on his red cheeks.  

"Did you see anything?" 

"Nothin'," Joel informs you, shaking the flakes off his shoulder angrily. "Even if there was someone there's no fucking way to see 'em in this mess." 

You're still shivering as you nod at him, following him up the windy creaking steps to the large former Library. Joel disappears into the logbook room and appears with a plastic box matches. You stand shivering and watching him kneeling in front of the hearth, using his pocket knife to make kindling and before long a fire begins. 

"S'only good thing about this weather," Joel mutters to the hearth. "No one'll see the smoke."

His broad back ripples as he shoulders of his soaked jacket. It lands onto the wood floor with a plop. You watch as he kneels there, urging the flames to lick up into the kindling, blowing gently to get it to catch. You’re hypnotized at his acumen for this, as if he were meant to live out on the land. He loads the dry lumber over the now crackling flame before letting out a tired sigh.

"I told you not to leave."

You swallow, needing him to know that it wasn't insolence or even defiance that made you leave. 

"I know, but the horses-"

Joel isn't listening to you; he's loading more wood into the hearth shaking his head in poorly concealed frustration. 

"You don't fuckin' listen to me."

"I do so," you insist to the back of his head. "I just didn't today because there was something more important."

He stands, knees cracking and fixes you with a stern look. Just like that it's back to the old dynamic. Him like a dark black blanket over your body. Weighting you down with his effortless dominance

"I had it handled."

"How could I know that? I didn't see you."

"Patrol partners need to trust one another. That's why this ain't workin'."

At his words something clicks in your brain and the answer to your earlier question is so fucking obvious you’re embarrassed you didn’t put two and two together earlier.

"It was you who told Tommy to take me off patrols, wasn't it?"

Joel is silent, jaw set, left thumb and forefinger pressing together so tightly the tips go white. 

"You had no fucking right to do that." You sniffle angrily, wrapping your damp jacket around your shoulders. "You go on about trust and you're the one going behind my back trying to get me kicked off."

"You shouldn't be out here," Joel insists. He sucks at his teeth.

"You don't get to say what I do."

"You're here ain't you? Doesn't matter what I say." 

"You're such a-"

Joel's eyes flash and his hand is held between you, almost like you're a wild animal he's trying to hold at bay. But you think it’s the opposite.

"Don't," Joel warns voice barely above a whisper. "Don't start that." 

Something in his voice terrifies you as much as it enrages you. So when hot tears prick the back of your eyes you're not sure which is the cause. 

"Do you just hate me that much, Joel?"

You despise how small your voice sounds. Joel huffs a sigh, eyes closing briefly. 

"S'not about that."

"What is it then?" 

He just shakes his head and strides away from you towards the log room. You follow at his heels like a needy puppy. You push your soaked hair from your eyes, feeling your wet clothing weighting you down as you pursue him.

"Joel."

He ignores you, long legs carrying him quicker, boots scraping the floor.

"Why don't you want me on patrols?"

He begins to pull down one of the boxes from the shelving ignoring you. 

"Answer me, please.”

It's not until you reach out a hand and grab his shoulder that he spins abruptly as if you've burnt him. He doesn't touch you; he just shakes off your hand and fixes you with a level stare that has you stepping back. Your feet slip in your boots and you realize you must look a sight, soaked to the skin, eyes red and chin wobbling.

Joel tilts his neck down, making sure to hold your gaze with his own.

"After all that shit you went through with those people? Why the fuck woul-"

He stops himself, the next word bit back, his eyes on the ground. The silence expands as understanding blooms in your face. You feel your jaw crack, eyes narrowing.

"You spied on me when I was talking to Ellie."

"S'a house, not a fucking football field," Joel sneers. "Sound carries."

Before you can say anything more you shiver. Despite the warmth of the fire in the next room you feel the chill of the damp creeping into your bones. Joel observes this and with a head tilt encourages you to follow him into the storage room.

You find yourself too exhausted to badger him further about patrols. Nothing will change in the next twenty four hours. So you follow in close pursuit, watching as he goes to one of the shelves and pulls out a duffel bag. Inside are two blankets, a few bottles of water and some rations. 

"Strip and put this on," Joel says pulling out and then shoving a blanket at you. You take it into your arms gratefully before belatedly hearing what he told you.  

Strip? 

"Unless you feel like catching a cold. Be my guest," Joel adds when you hesitate. He takes the duffel and heads into another room, slamming the door behind him. 

You go into the bathroom, the door creaking shut.

You're completely soaked from head to toe. It feels like you've had a freezing bath. And yet you hesitate a full minute before you realize that if you keep these clothes on there's a very good chance you're going to get seriously ill. And while Jackson City had a lot of amenities. antibiotics are always in short supply. 

You strip hurriedly, your fingers shaking with cold. Your hair is squeezed and excess water circles the old sink. The clothing is squeezed as well as you try to wring out as much of the damp as possible.

You think about keeping your panties on because the thought of being completely bare under the blanket around Joel is far too daunting. But then the option of freezing in soaking under things doesn't seem like a better option. 

The blanket is warm and when wrapped around you shoulders it hits you mid-calf. If you tuck it between your legs is almost like wearing a toga. You do, wrapping it so that only your arms and bottom of your legs poke out. You have the passing wonder if this is one of the blankets Jennifer made during her times in textiles.

You bring your clothes out with you, padding over barefoot to the large fireplace Joel has already begun stoking. He wears the blanket similar to you, tucked tightly around his broad frame. But one arm is out, the muscles glinting in the warmth of the fire’s glow.

"We don't normally do this," Joel explains, always in teacher mode. "Don't wanna attract attention. But desperate times n' all that."

You hang your clothes over a chair from the supply room and drag it towards the fireplace as Joel's dark eyes dart to see what you're up to. 

"I was gonna put ‘em by the fire to dry," you explain. "You want me to wring yours out too?"

"Nah, I'll do mine," Joel replies. There's no snark left, his attention is fixed on the fire that's building there. You’re both just too tired to be prickly with one another.

A quick glance out the window confirms that the snow is still falling. So you're stuck for at least a couple more hours.

Great.

"Fuck that feels good," you say dropping to your knees and holding your palms to the fire. Joel's eyes swim over you before he fixes them on the roaring flames. His eyes are so dark they showcase the bright embers when you glance at them. 

Everything is cold and damp. Your feet are numb from the snow and you hiss when the circulation begins in them again. Joel goes to wring out his clothes, bringing them back with another chair and propping it beside yours.

Joel drags the couch close to the fireplace, setting it down with a groan as his knees creak before collapsing onto it with a grunt. It looks more comfortable than kneeling on the floor and so you join him.

You knee brushes his as you take your seat, the fabric of the quilts rasping against one another. You try not to be offended when Joel jerks his knee away from you. 

You get it. He doesn't like you. Can't stand to be around you if there's not another person as a buffer. But does he have to be so immature about it? You have a moment of concern when you think of your last buffer, Ellie.  

"Will Ellie be okay tonight?"

"Yeah, Tommy'll make sure she is until I get back."

"How does he know when you'll be back?"

"He doesn't." Joel stokes the fire absently with a nearby stick. "When we don't come back at our usual time they'll usually give it a few hours and then come looking for us."

"Usually?"

"With a storm like this? They won't make it far. They'll figure we hit the same and're hunkered down somewhere. If we aren't back by tomorrow afternoon and the snow is clear then they'll send a group out. S'protocol."

"Oh."

The two of you lapse into quiet contemplation as the crackling fire sounds.

The house feels so big and with the sun going down it feels almost frightening. You’ve never been in this place in the dark. You don’t like how open the room is, how many shadows and walls exist. You miss your little home with its plain walls and minimal walls. You fantasize about how a bath would feel so luxurious at this moment.

You sniffle again, burying your face into the blanket a moment to warm it. The fire is definitely helping, but you wish it was bigger and the room less drafty.

Joel isn’t saying anything but he’s not scowling like he usually is when you glance over at him.

"Is Ellie doing any more baking?"

"Nope. Think she's more partial to just eatin'."

“Sounds like her,” you smile before pausing and adding:  “Your pastries were good.”

Joel hums a response and emboldened by his openness you continue.

“I didn’t know you baked.”

“I don’t. Just followed the recipe you had on the counter.”

“Oh.”

Joel doesn't try to extend the conversation so you fall silent again as you go back to the floor and move closer to the fire. The flames warm your cheeks and your front. A cool drop of water runs down your spine under the blanket and you shudder.

You kneel a bit closer to the fire and gingerly move your hair over one shoulder, trying to dry it the best you can. As you do you feel the blanket slip down over your back, exposing your neck  down to your shoulder blade. You hurriedly pull your quilt back up over your shoulder, heart pounding.  

"M'gonna check the horses."

Joel lurches up from the couch, not waiting for your reply. You don't watch him go, finding you don't care to see his sullen expression. You're not sure which is worse, the ‘rude but communicative when needed’ Joel or this strange withdrawn creature that's replaced him. 

Joel is gone for a little while. Much longer than it takes to check on the horses, but you don't mind. You like having a bit of quiet to fall under the spell of the flickering flames. 

You wonder what Jennifer would think of this, being stuck in an isolated space with Joel overnight. 

She'd be in heaven. 

You smirk at this, knowing she'd take full advantage of the situation. Probably flutter her lashes and let the blanket slip open ever so slightly, giving Joel a flash of breast before faking modesty.  It would work, you're certain of it. Joel strikes you as someone who likes the soft curves of a woman, perhaps because of what Maria said. 

You can't wait to return home tomorrow. To have coffee in Jennifer's cheery house and update her on any and all Joel lore you uncover. It won't be much judging by his conversational skills so far. But you will be able to report that Joel Miller has very nice calves. You saw a flash of them when he got up.

Jennifer will have a field day with that information; she probably won't leave her bed for a week. 

Joel returns eventually, his eyes refusing to meet yours. He comes back with the remaining two blankets from the duffel, throwing one over your legs.  He sits on the far end of the couch, warming himself with the second blanket over himself. You tuck yourself on the other end, the two of you quiet as you watch the fire. 

You think about ancient times when all creatures had was fire and an open sky to pass the time. When the air was free of chemicals and the landscape open instead of crowded with infrastructure. You wonder what they would make of your world now. Would they secretly cheer that nature has slowly begun to reclaim its earth? 

Time passes and soon enough the sky through the window grows dark and the air grows colder. You start to shiver slightly and Joel adds more lumber to the fire. You think back to last week when you’d all had those brownies to share. You think back to this morning with your hot chocolate.  

"Wish I didn't drink all my hot chocolate," you sniff with a sigh as you burrow back on the creaking sofa. You're not saying it for pity, more just to fill the quiet. 

"We have some coffee left," Joel offers.

You’re surprised when he moves to grab the Thermos from his bag next to him beside the couch. You can't help but notice how muscular his bare arms are when he does. You take it from him, eyes on his large hand.

"Thanks," you reply, taking a small sip.

Even though you don’t drink coffee often you don't want to waste it. It warms you and the jerky he hands you along with it moments later makes the encroaching hunger fade. Joel takes the Thermos back from you, also taking a ginger sip before twisting on the cap and sighing. 

"I miss real coffee."

Joel never talks about the past, not really. Never about his life before this. You've had to stitch his back-story together with patches of information gathered over your time and interactions with Ellie. 

So this little glimmer, this tiny piece of him sticks out to you. It rattles in your bones and burrows deep in your brain. 

I miss real coffee.

"The stuff they make in the dining hall doesn't do it for you?" You prompt, wanting him to share more, finding that you're desperate for a little more Joel. 

"That's not real coffee," Joel scoffs. "That's instant shit. It all is."

You've never had real coffee either so you don't know if the derision is warranted. You’d always been a tea drinker yourself. You watch him slurp back the contents of his thermos while your mind is a million miles away. 

Coffee. Joel likes coffee. Real Coffee. Joel drinking coffee. Real Coffee. 

Did Joel go to cafes? Did he go to Starbucks and sit reading? Did he drink coffee with silly names and lots of whipped cream? Did women blush and stammer when a young Joel slid by them to grab cream or sugar? 

You imagine a world before this one. One where you could have met in a cafe. Bumped into each other as you both reached for a cup. Classic meet cute. Then you remember this is Joel Miller. He would have scowled at you and told you to get your own coffee. The thought amuses you. 

Soon enough the combination of the warm drink and the stress of the day gets to you. Your eyes begin to drift shut, your head slowly falling forward before you catch yourself. Joel must notice this because he clears his throat. 

“We’ll take turns on watch,” Joel informs you. “You sleep first, I’ll get next. We’ll do four hour switches.”

“Okay.”

You don’t ask why you need to be on watch during a storm. You trust that Joel is right about it. Joel may be an asshole, but he’s an educated one. And so far during everything he has not let you down. He has been rough, he has been unpleasant but he has been there through it all. Joel Miller will protect you. You don’t know why tonight is when you decide this is true, but you do.

You burrow into your blankets, thankful for them.  It’s not exactly warm, but it does the job. You still feel a little strange cuddled there completely bare underneath. It makes it hard to get comfortable and fall asleep but you eventually do.

You wake up what feels like no time at all later. Your hair is partially dried and the fire is still going steadily. You blink down your body to see you’ve stretched out on the couch, your feel practically against Joel’s thigh.

He’s staring into the fire, a flask in one hand and the other over your ankle buried under the blanket. You don’t think he even realizes that your foot is there. When you start to shift his hand moves to his thigh, his dark eyes blinking over at you.

“Not been four hours.”

“Tell that to my body,” you say wryly. “Any more coffee left?”

“Nah.”

Between the blankets and the fire you shouldn’t feel this cold, should you? You glance over when you see Joel handing the silver flask out towards you.

“What’s that?”

“Whiskey. It’ll make you feel warm.”

“Where’d you find that?”

“My bag.”

You smile gently before you shift back into a seated position on the couch, wincing at the muscle pull in your neck from sleeping at such an awkward angle. You take the flask with a polite nod of your head. 

“Thank you.”

You take the flask from him before bringing it gingerly to your lips. You take a deep pull from it, wincing when the astringent alcohol hits your tongue. 

"Strong," you mumble. 

But you’re delighted when you feel it scorch a warm trail from your throat all the way to your belly. You take another sip before screwing the top back on. Joel watches this, his features relaxed. You wonder if he isn’t a little drunk.

"How'd he get you outta there?"

His voice is a husky rasp, his mouth barely moving as he murmurs this at you. You take a moment to try and process what he’s asking you.

"Huh? Who?"

"Chi guy,” Joel says taking the flask back from you and taking a long pull. “You were in a group ‘a Raiders. Something tells me they wouldn't just let their best shot and their trusty bait walk off into the sunset together." 

He hands the flask back to you and you take another sip. Minutes tick by and you’re not answering his first question, so you suppose Joel decides on another angle.

"The two of you fuck?"

You turn your head to face Joel, surprised.  He’s got a strange expression on his face, his lids heavy, waiting for you response.

"Yeah.”

Joel takes the flask from you, holding it there in his palms, not drinking, just staring into the flames. "You like it?"

You shoot daggers at him. "Yes." 

You're not lying. You did enjoy your times with Chiyo. While there wasn't a romantic aspect, you definitely felt taken care of during those times together.

Joel nods, lower lip protruding as he takes another pull of the flask. You’re thankful to him for bringing it

“How much did you hear of what I told Ellie?”

“Enough.” Joel swallows thickly.

The alcohol warms your veins and your belly and you start to relax.

"Did that Group.... Try things with you?"

It takes you a minute to parse what he's not saying out loud. 

"No," you shake your head. "The women in the group were territorial that way. Besides they didn't see me like a person. More like a dog. They never spoke to me unless it was to order me around or feed me whatever leftovers they had. Kept me chained up at night so I couldn't escape."

Joel’s eye tics just a fraction as he listens to you.  And for some reason whether it be the intimacy of sitting there with him before a fire or the whiskey working through your veins, you decide to share with Joel.

You think because he’s one of the few people who won’t pity you for it.

“So The Group… that’s what I called them. I never really learned their names. There were three men, two women. They had me with then for a few years. I was obedient for the most part because by the end I didn’t care if I lived or died. I did what they said and they weren’t kind to me, but they didn’t make me suffer as much as they could’ve. They took me to the bathroom, let me shower when there was time. But they never spoke to me directly unless it was to order me around.”

Joel is completely still, and the only movement comes from the shadow of the flames reflected in his dark eyes. You find you can’t look into them, instead finding the space between your bodies on the couch to do the job just fine. You tell the little patch of green your story.

"Wherever we stayed we always slept together in the same room.  They said it was for safety but I know they just did it to keep an eye on everyone. The only one who was chained up at night was me. I was the bait after all. Chiyo was chained up for the first few months but he was a likeable guy. He earned their trust through action. He was a good shot and they liked having him around.”

You swallow.

“Well, in the last place the toilets didn’t work so there was an outhouse out back so Chiyo told me that he had a plan. He suggested they celebrate the hunting of the day with a little booze they had stashed in the supply bags. They were all for it. They chained me up and I just sat there watching them get drunker and drunker.  After a few hours most of ‘em were passed out.”

You shift under the blankets, finding that you’re not really feeling the cold at all.

“So I did what Chi had told me. I told them I had to go to the bathroom. Chi was pretending to be drunk and he said that he would take me to the outhouse to make sure I didn’t get up to anything. They were so drunk I don’t even know if they heard us leave after he unchained me.”

Joel is still silent, still attentively listening. You wonder if this is all boring to him. If he’s seen much worse.

“So we go to the outhouse. Chi grabs the gun, I follow him back but he makes me stay outside the bedroom. He tells me that I shouldn’t see what’s going to happen. I wanted to help, but he insisted and I was in no position to fight him on it.”

You close your eyes, replaying the moment.

“So I stood there outside the door and I listened to him shoot each one in the head. Some of them were already passed out. One tried to fight back but like I said, Chi was a great shot. They didn’t stand a chance. Then we packed up and we left.”

You can still see it. The flash of blood and brain on the walls as Chi exited. The slumped over bodies as he tugged your wrist, urging you to follow him.

When your eyes open again Joel is offering you the flask. You take it gratefully, taking a ginger sip before handing it back. You don’t know what else to say, even as Joel rests his heavy gaze on you.

"You think less of him for it?"

"For killing the people that wouldn't even flinch if they had to kill me?" You scoff. "Not at all. I wish he'd hung them by their feet over a pit of ravenous clickers. Had them piss themselves in fear. I wish they could have seen their loved ones bit. I wish they could have watched as everything was taken from them and then I wish he’d slit their throats so they’d take longer to die."

You know that Joel is staring at you and it's likely because he's never seen this side to you. This ugly, twisted, hateful side that you try to keep hidden.  This side that you soften under baked goods and paper flowers.

"Chi was right though about not letting me help him kill them," you confess quietly. “I’m not built for it.”

Joel is quiet, his body so still you think he’s gone rigid.

"He got bit not long before I got to the next QZ,” you explain. “And I couldn’t let him turn into one of those things.”

If Joel is surprised by your admission about Chiyo's death he makes no mention of it, his features remain stoic, his dark eyes moving back to the fire. You wish you could make sense of his expression, but you can’t, you don’t know him well enough.

“I still have nightmares about killing him and I don’t think those’ll ever go away,” you murmur to the flames. “You know, I remember thinking the doe we killed on that first patrol had eyes just like him. That same glossy dark color. Looked the same when he was dead, just staring up at me." 

You don't speak much after that.

Not until a short while later when Joel’s flask is re-opened and the two of you take long pulls. The alcohol loosens you both up, you can tell in the lazy way you both lean into the couch.  

The blankets and the couch and the fire lend you a feeling of comfort, of warmth and you think that perhaps this isn’t as bad as the situation could have been. That this Joel sitting by you feels different.

“If I'd known all that stuff, I never would've.... Joel trails off, still looking into the fire. "I'd have done things different when we started patrols."

"It shouldn't take someone's traumatic history for you to treat them decently," you say, feeling emboldened by the drink.  You wait for his biting reply. 

"You're right." 

You're surprised by his easy agreement but you don't let it show. You find it hard to let a lot of how you feel show with Joel. Something in you always holds you back. 

"I think you were just so... skittery," Joel offers to the flames. "Made me nervous." 

"Oh."

As you look at him from the corner of your eyes in shock you think that when he's not scowling he's quite handsome. Strong masculine features, full lips. You can understand why Jennifer is attracted to him. 

At that errant thought your mind goes to your friend. Jennifer. This is the perfect opportunity to talk her up like she's done with you to Luke. 

"You know Jennifer was sa-"

"What’s with you and bringin’ up that Jennifer girl?" Joel cuts in, shooting you a glare. His old irritated expression is back, along with his tensed shoulders. 

"I...uh..." You weren't expecting such vitriol. He crosses his arms in front of his chest like a petulant schoolchild.

"I've talked with her a handful of times," Joel says with a huff. "And I don't like how she stares at me."

"Except I've seen how you stare at her," you shoot back with a frown, defensive of your friend. "And flirt."

"Flirt?" Joel looks beside himself. "When s'at?"

"Agreeing to drinks at the Bison after patrols last time, calling her Jenny," you list these things off with ease. "Or how about staring at her during breakfast just this morning? She caught you doing it, you know."

Joel opens his mouth to say something but then slams it shut. He goes quiet and you know he must be remembering when he did all those things. You don't fault him, Jennifer is a beautiful woman. 

"It's fine if you like her Joel, she likes you and-"

"I don't like her. I barely fuckin’ know her." He takes a swig from his flask. "I wish you'd stop bringin' her up."

"Okay. Sorry, I will."

“Good.”

Joel must be shy when it comes to crushes and you don't want to embarrass him further. 

To you Joel is a forever enigma, someone who shares so little of himself. You feel almost owed information on his romantic past, as if because he heard your story you deserve his. You don’t know if that’s a fair assessment.

“I’ve never heard you talk about a woman. Was there anyone before Jackson City?”

“Yep.”

He doesn’t expand on this and you sigh heavily through your nose. You’re irritated that you’ve shared so much with someone who obviously doesn’t care to do the same with you. Perhaps you misjudged hi-

"There was a woman back in the Boston QZ," Joel's says in a voice that goes soft. "Tess. We smuggled together."

"What was she like?"

He shifts in his seat, the blanket tightening. He looks both irritated and impossibly wounded. He doesn’t look at you directly, more the wall over your shoulder when he addresses you.

"She was always in charge," he tells you in a voice that sounds detached from him. "I was the muscle."

This surprises you. Joel seems such a natural leader, such a confident force. They can't imagine him cowing to anyone, especially a woman. 

"Did you like that?"

"I liked hurtin' people at times, yeah." 

You don't have to ask him why he liked hurting people because the answer is clear. It was better to cause pain in others when it helped distract from the gaping wound within Joel Miller in the shape of his lost daughter.

"No, I meant did you like Tess being in charge?"

"Sometimes," Joel relents. "Was nice not to have to plan and organize and everythin'. Could just exist for a bit."

You imagine Joel back in the QZ with a beautiful woman who warmed his bed and you feel a strange twisting in your stomach. She was tough. The opposite of you, you think. You're soft. Too soft for this world at times. 

"Did you guys..." You trail off, feeling strangely insecure. You shouldn't after everything he asked about you, and yet it still feels like a boundary crossed. 

He sneers at you.

"I'm a man ain’t I?" 

You don't say anything in response to that. 

Your assessment had been correct – Joel liked strong, tough women. Women like Jennifer who could be feminine but hard when they needed to be. Women like this Tess who you just know was beautiful.

The fire crackles in front of you, leaving you drowsy and almost hypnotized. It makes you momentarily forget that you and Joel aren't people who usually talk to one another. 

“Were you in love with her?”

You want to know about the woman who caught his attention, who he talks of with such reverence.

"I tried," Joel finally answers, but you can see the weight of it behind his eyes. "Couldn't give it to her in the way she wanted though."

You wish you knew what Tess looked like, what she sounded like when she laughed and if she was a good shot. You wonder if they teased each other affectionately or if it was all seriousness and hard fucking. You wonder if he fucked her mouth like did yours. You wonder if they slept together, limbs entwined, breathing even.

You feel a stab of jealousy that he had that. At least twice if the sporadic history you’ve learned of him is correct. Two women who held him, two women who loved him. A man as recalcitrant as him found two separate women to care for him. And you? What do you have?

"I don't need love," you confess to him him with a labored sigh, eyes drifting half shut sleepily. "Wouldn't know what to do with it if I had it. I just wanna be someone's only." 

"Someone’s only?"

"Like the only one they see," you explain with a yawn. "The only one they take to bed and kiss and all that stuff."

Joel makes a soft humming sound as he digests what you're saying. 

You snuggle further into the blankets, watching the fire in the hearth and wondering what it must have been like to be in this big library back when it held hundreds of books. You wonder what sort of people sat in the very room you and Joel reside in. Did they study, their eyes going blurry the longer they stared at the pages? Did they sneak off to kiss in the stacks, nervous fumbling fearful of being caught?

Libraries have their own sort of life within them after all, it’s easy to imagine the dusty floorboards and the peeling wallpaper restored to its former glory. Can almost hear the soft ‘shhhh’ of an eagle-eared librarian. The world before seems romantic and nostalgic in moments like this. 

If only you’d enjoyed it to the fullest.

Your mind drifts to the embers, red hot and pulsing. It reminds you of blood pooling in a gaping mouth.

"Joel, do you think the infected are still conscious?" 

He looks at you from the corner of his eye.

"Huh?"

"I mean, like, do you think that they're trapped in their bodies still knowing what's happening but unable to stop it?" You wince at the thought. "Not able to control their bodies but still self aware?"

"I sure fucking hope not," Joel says quietly.

"Me too. Jennifer said that th-“

You stop yourself with a sharp wince, but Joel has heard you and he rolls his eyes.

“Why're you always bringing up that Jennifer girl?"

You shrug, embarrassed. "I guess because she's like, my only friend."

"Ellie'll be devastated to hear that."

Warmth floods you at that. Ellie, your sweet little pal. The girl with the bite that puts her trust in you of all people.

"Yeah I guess she is too," you say with a rueful grin. "She must be pretty desperate to have a grown woman as a friend."

"She's discerning," Joel mutters. "She doesn't waste her time on idiots."

You think that this is as close to a compliment that Joel's ever given you outside of sexual interactions. It gives you pause. 

"I like how honest Ellie is," you offer. "It can be brutal at times, but I like that I know where I stand with her."

Joel smiles at that, a tight-lipped thing he's never offered you before. It makes you give one in return before your attention goes back to your hands in your lap.

“She sure thinks the world of you,” you offer.

“Yeah well,” Joel shrugs, embarrassed. “We’ve been through a lot.”

“Did she know Tess?”

Joel goes quiet, staring back at the fire. You worry that you’ve said the wrong thing because he’s got a hurt look in his eyes. The kind that makes the dark brown of it glossy and hard.

“Yeah. She knew Tess.”

And something in the finality of his hushed tone makes you cease in that line of questioning. His eyes sweep to you as if belatedly realizing he's shared a vulnerable part of himself and like a feral cat that hisses when they realize they've let their guard down, Joel straightens. 

"I've had too much of this," he says handing you the flask. You're surprised when you can feel it's still half full. "You should go back to sleep. I’ll wake you when your shift starts.”

"Okay."

You put the flask on the floor, looking into the fire before shifting onto your side, curling within the blankets. You gaze down over your hip to see Joel staring into the space in front of him and you realize that this is perhaps one of the only times you’ll be able to really talk to Joel.

And there’s a big, big question that’s been lingering in your subconscious for weeks now. One that you could never have brought up if not for this sense of camaraderie.  

“Joel, why did you stop wanting to do stuff on patrols?”

You don’t know why but you need to ask him this. You’ve gone through the scenarios countless times trying to understand. The thought that you did something wrong, the thought that perhaps Joel got bored of you is what you’ve landed on, but you want to hear it.

He shifts again on the couch, his back cracking. He licks at his lower lip, hands bracing against his thighs. It’s clear he’s uncomfortable with the topic, but you can’t find it in yourself to let it go.

“Did I do something wrong that day?”

“No,” Joel says quickly. “Just thought it was a distraction.”

“Oh.”

You don’t really believe that. But you suppose it could be true. You are here to do a job after all, not suck him off. You exhale slowly through your nose as you think back to that final day, his thumb in your mouth and his eyes on your face. You think of how it felt to have your mouth full of him and that blissful sensation of quiet that came along with it.

“I miss doing it.”

It comes from you in a breathy sigh, a quiet thing said to the air in front of you. But its loud in the silent room and it makes your eyes pop open.

Did Joel hear that?

You close your eyes then, your cheeks heating because there's a hesitation, a silence. You cringe, feeling as though you've fucked this up this gentle alliance. Joel was so forthcoming with you and now he’s gone radio silent because you just said the stupidest thing possible.

You shake your head internally, bracing yourself for Joel’s mockery or derision.

There’s the feeling of the couch dipping and when you crack open your eyes Joel's muscular frame is moving towards you. The blanket has fallen to his hips, leaving his torso visible.

You sit up, suddenly intimidated by his broad frame and muscular stature. His eyes scan over your body hidden in the blankets. He takes in your braced pose, the way you’re almost wary of him as he moves over to you.

"Lay back.”

You look at his eyes reflecting the flames licking up the hearth. It's almost as hypnotic as his husky voice. 

“What’re you-“

“I said lay back.”

His voice is stern but without its usual malice. He’s giving you an order and he’s expecting you to follow it. You remember the first day you met him.

I'm the one who gives orders. Not you.

You feel your pulse start to tick as the two of you lock eyes and its like everything in the world falls away. The whistle of the wind, the crackle of the fire, the thrum of your heart. Nothing is left save for your shallow breathing.  

You tilt backwards, your arms securing your blanket tightly around your torso. You wonder if he’s going to fuck your mouth in this position. Or perhaps he’s just going to touch himself over you. Both thoughts have you pressing your thighs together tightly.  You’re head is perched on the edge of the sofa arm, watching him.

Joel’s eyes dip to your waist and he confuses you when his long fingers slide to the blanket laying overtop you. He says nothing, just pushes the blanket up your waist, exposing you to him in the firelight. Goose bumps ripple over your flesh but not from the cold.

 “Joel-“

His eyes never leave your face, but you feel his fingers brush over your bare thigh. The blanket toga you fashioned has come undone and you flinch as he moves his calloused hand over your skin, thumb grazing the crease between your thigh and hip. The air feels strangely heavy as Joel’s knuckles graze your slick entrance.

It feels so good.

Your hips jolt before you force them to still, your body supine before him. Joel tilts his head slightly, gazing at your exposed cunt with what almost looks like affection.

“She always this wet?"

The way he speaks is so vulgar but his tone is so soothing that it creates a strange dichotomy within your brain. It leaves you dumbstruck, able only to give a brief shake of your head in response. 

Joel sweeps the tip of his tongue over his plush lower lip, wetting it. 

"S'for me?" 

You still can't answer; your throat feels sealed shut as he keeps his gaze fixed between your legs. But your silence and pink cheeks are their own kind of damning confession. 

Joel says nothing more but there's a touch of amusement in his look that's not lost on you. It makes you tilt your face to the side, not wanting to show more of your hand. 

Joel shifts, removing his hand from your body. You immediately miss the warmth, eyes snapping down the length of you to watch in quiet fascination as Joel shrugs off the blanket over his shoulders. 

You swallow again, your own blanket raised to just below your eyes. You can't help but exhale softly at the sight of him. 

Joel's body is a beautiful gold color. There are a few scars that curve along his flesh, a particularly jagged one along the right side under his ribs. He's broad and muscular and so masculine with his strong features and stronger body. 

One of the blankets remains slung loosely around his middle, allowing you a brief vision of dark hair below his navel leading under the quilt before he curves forward. His wide hands come to slide up over your knees, gliding to your thighs and then back down again. He does this several times, his eyes watching the ascent of his touch as you pant softly.

His hands come to glide up your thighs again, thumbs coming to trace the soft inner skin there. You feel as his strong grip begins to urge your legs to part and in a panic your thighs slap together.  You see the flash of his glittering eyes snap to your face.

"Open.”

When you don't immediately acquiesce you feel his thumbs tracing small circles on the inner skin of your thigh, not moving an inch from where he kneels half curled over you. His touch is setting of strange vibrations through your body, ones that make it hard to catch your breath. 

“Open.”

He repeats it and the timbre of his voice is sweet and sticky like syrup. A coaxing thing that silently promises it’ll be worth it if you do.  He waits, not moving an inch as you decide.

Finally after a moment’s deliberation you give a shuddering breath before your legs fall open on either side of him, exposing you in a completely new way as you hear him inhale slowly.

You feel like your entire body is on fire not only from embarrassment but from this overwhelming sizzling ache in your core. This strange desire that makes it impossible to think clearly. To remind you that you don’t really like Joel as a person. To remind you that Joel doesn’t enjoy your company.

But it doesn’t matter because Joel is moving to rest prone on the couch between your legs with a grunt. He props himself up on his elbows and goes to push the blanket over your hips higher but you tense. He must register this because his hands slide back, his mouth set in a firm line of patience. 

One wide palm slips between your legs, gentle fingers grazing over your mound. The sensation is soothing, almost bordering on ticklish. You feel your body eventually relaxing, eyes drifting shut. Joel makes a quiet sound of what you think is approval. 

You don't know how long this lasts for, but you soon find yourself boneless, lulled by Joel's shockingly delicate touch. Your arms which had been glued over your chest now relax, rising over your head over the arm of the couch. 

You feel yourself drifting off, unsure of when Joel went from someone who terrified you to a man whose fingers are slowly dancing up the seam of your pussy. He feels so soft and gentle right now and you let him maneuver you however he wants.  He must feel you relax in his grip because the soft drag of his fingers now slides between the seam of your sex.

Two thick fingers slowly spread the glossy lips of your pussy, brushing your straining clit in the process. Joel’s gaze is fixed there, almost as if he’s marveling at how wet you are. You shudder gently at his intense scrutiny, noting that Joel's eyes flick to yours when you do. You breathe shallowly, eyes wide and mouth parted.

Joel lowers his mouth to where his fingers still hold you open. With his dark eyes fixed on you,  he gives a slow, languid lick of his flattened tongue over your clit. The sight and sensation causes you to immediately jolt, pleasure tearing through your middle. 

Joel Miller’s mouth is between your legs.

You still can’t quite comprehend that this is happening to you. Goose bumps rise up all over your body, every sense quivering with arousal. Joel isn’t smirking, but it almost feels like he could be when you swallow thickly.

"He ever do this?” he rumbles. “Your friend?"

He says friend like others would say asshole.

"N-no," you say with a fluttering of your pulse. "Never had time."

"But there was time to suck his cock," Joel says with derision clear in his voice. “Time to ride him?”

You want to defend your old friend and point out the irony considering the past you and Joel share, but then his mouth is back there between your legs and all words leave you.

With his soulful eyes closing, Joel repeats the previous action with his tongue once, twice and then a third lingering time that has you grunting in the back of your throat, hips rolling against his mouth.

He pulls his mouth off you slightly and in the low firefight you see the web of saliva and slick that join his tongue to your cunt. It's lascivious and obscene and you feel as fresh arousal gathers there just at the sight.  

You feel exposed, suddenly vulnerable with his mouth between your thighs. You go to close them but Joel's eyes snap open to scorch a blazing path up at you.

Obey. 

Despite him saying nothing out loud, you swallow, nodding. He seems satisfied because he gives your clit a soft lave that makes you swallow a groan. You have a moment of confusion, wondering why he’s doing this all of a sudden.

"Joel I -"

"I like doin' this," he tells you almost frustrated at your sudden discomfort. "So just let me." 

You watch as he slides his hands beneath the back of your legs, urging them to rise. You go limp, curious when he maneuvers your legs over his broad shoulders, hinging at the knee.

His mouth is level with your pussy now, more easily accessible and this seems to please him before Joel's lips begin to kiss slowly over pussy, making out with it in a way your mouth has never felt.

You have no desire for the pleasure to stop.

You feel his lips sponging along your mound before the fingers holding you open spread you further, allowing him to probe deeply with the thick muscle of his tongue, making the most deliciously vulgar wet sound as he does. His nose grazes your clit as he does this, fucking you with his tongue and teasing your clit.

You nearly capitulate off the sofa at that sensation. The deep thrust of his tongue twisting within your sopping core as you huff out little whines while the plush pout of his lips working against the dripping between your legs. 

He breathes heavily through his nose, not wanting to break the connection of his mouth on your cunt as he gazes at you. He sees the way your head tilts back, the way your thighs slightly turn inward. He holds your hips down, thumbs absently stroking over the skin there before coming to cradle the lips of your pussy, allowing him better access to your aching clit. 

He groans at one point, a low, sinful thing accompanied by a wet kissing sound that has your nipples tightening almost painfully under the blanket. Your hips roll lazily under the sensation, whimpering slightly when his tongue comes to flick over your swollen clit time and time again.  

When his eyes drift closed you feel your body tightening. You lift your hips instinctively and you almost believe that you can feel Joel smirk against your cunt. For some reason that’s what has a white hot pleasure shooting up your middle as you rush towards your release.

“Oh f-f-fuck-“

You suddenly tilt backwards, as Joel's hands grip your hips tightly, fingertips dimpling your flesh as his mouth continues it steady dance against your pussy. 

“There it is,” Joel murmurs against your cunt as you begin to keen loudly.

Everything in your body tightens and your back arches. Your toes curl into the soft of the couch as Joel works his mouth continuously through your shuddering cry of pleasure. He allows your thighs to squeeze the side of his head as your hands grip uselessly at your sides.

Joel laps at the pooling essence between your thighs, groaning as he does it. Your heartbeat flutters at the sight, his eyes rolled back and his mouth working hurriedly over your sex, making obscene sucking noises. You can only whimper down at him, hips rolling lazily against his searching mouth.

And then all at once Joel’s hands slide beneath your bottom, grasping large handfuls of your ass, holding you firmly in place so that his tongue can probe deeper. 

"Another," Joel commands, licking flat swipes along your cunt, the tip of his tongue flicking your clit. Your thighs tremble and you give frantic little huffing cries at the sensation that seems to be building again.

"I-I cant-" 

"You will," Joel tells you sharply, lips coming to circle your clit once more before sucking it into his mouth and you see fireworks behind your eyes. His words swim through your veins, much like they always do.  Another. Another. Another.

He orders you obey.

He leads you follow.

You give his name out with a lusty cry and for the first time this evening you touch him. Your hands go to his thick curls and you clutch there desperately, needing to ground yourself, needing him as deep as possible, needing him.

He doesn’t shake you off and doesn’t demand you not touch him. If anything he seems to suck harder and you think you see his hips beginning to thrust against the couch. His arms banded over your waist hold you in place, his head shaking back and forth.  

"Joel! I'm gonna... Gonna..."

"C'mon then," Joel urges between sloppy kisses to your cunt. "Fuckin’ do it."

Your hips pitch off the creaking sofa, rutting into Joel's mouth with abandon. You hear him groaning with approval and that sends your head tilting back as the pleasure rocks through you. 

Joel gives a shudder, his lips trembling around your clit as you feel yourself coming down. He continues to suck gently, eyes closed. With trembling fingers you touch his cheek lightly, your body overwhelmed.

"S'enough," you tell him through gasps. "Can't... Can't do any more." 

He nods and leans back slowly onto his knees, one hand on the back of the couch.

You go to tell him that you'll do the same for him. Your hand even reaches out towards him but it stops halfway when you see the wide damp spot at the front of his blanket. 

He came. 

When you tear your eyes to go to his face Joel is daring you to say something. His dark eyes are glittering in his face as he stares you down. His mouth is wet with your arousal.

But you can't ask: Joel did you just come while you were going down on me? 

Even though you want to because the thought turns you on more than you can explain. That just your pleasure was enough for him to climax. 

“Thank you,” you whisper, unsure of what to say in such a moment. The corner of Joel’s mouth twitches in amusement.  

“You’re welcome.”

Your eyes are on his abdomen, the scar there in the firelight twisted and obvious. It’s fresher than the other ones that litter his body. You want to ask him how it happened, you want to ask him why he did this tonight, you want to ask him so many more questions but you feel sobered up and too intimidated to ask him.

When you don't say anything more Joel leans forward again, eyes stuck on you. Your legs are still there on his shoulders and you go to move them off.

"I can’t do anything more." You feel your eyelids growing heavy, like each one has a tiny weight at the corner pulling down. "I'm tired."

"Go to sleep then," he tells you, rich baritone against your legs. You feel his lips grazing along your inner thighs, slow, gentle things, taking their time.  “Don’t need to do anything but lay there.”

"What about you?"

"Not tired yet. ‘Sides it’s my watch."

You feel his mouth drifting over the seam of your thigh, breathing in your skin. His lips are petal soft and he’s doing that same light grazing that makes your eyes close before you slip into the warm and welcoming darkness of sleep. 

///

You don't even remember falling asleep but judging by the quieting of the storm it's been a while. The fire is dim, but not out.

But that's not what has woken you.

It's the steadily building orgasm being coaxed out of you by the man still there between your thighs. You can't see him, but you feel his heavy mouth there. Has he just been there licking and sucking as you slept? 

You make a croaking hum deep in your throat as your hips slowly begin to roll against his mouth. You can't see Joel's face in the semi darkness, but you just know he's looking at you. 

You feel your climax building, pushing you to let out little whines. Joel's mouth takes you there, licking just hard enough to have your legs trembling. A husky order from somewhere in the darkened night. 

"Go on then.”

You feel everything in you release at those three words. The delicious tension unwinding itself from your body as you come against his tongue. 

"Good girl."

Only then does Joel remove your thighs from over his shoulders. He closes them gently like the pages of a cherished book before pulling your blanket back down over your body. 

"Thank you," you croak out to him. It doesn't seem like enough but it must be because Joel gives a grunt. You feel his body lift from off the sofa. You want to see what he does next but you feel so relaxed and you're so tired. 

Just so fucking tired. 

///

You wake up too early the next morning, when the sky is still bleeding pink into the start of the day. You blink sleepily up at the window, confused that you’re so warm and cozy despite the fire being dead.

Belatedly you realize you’re sandwiched between the back of the couch and something warm and hard. The disorientation of sleep slowly seeps from you and you realize that you're snuggled up against Joel's back with your arm slung over his waist. 

Memories of last night make your cheeks burn. Joel's mouth on you, the way he took his time. The way he came. Something about that fact makes your throat run dry.

His torso is bare and up so close to him you can see the small array of freckles along his tanned shoulders like a golden galaxy. He’s so broad, his body nearly falling off the edge of the couch as he sleeps on.

He's very still, his breathing slow and even. You peer up and see the threads of grey in his dark hair shining in the almost dead fire. You want to touch it, to see if it's as soft as it looks but you don’t dare.

His spine is under his taut flesh just inches from your mouth. You don't press your mouth to his skin but you can't help but inhale, shocked at how comforting the scent of leather and homemade soap is. 

And while you should start the day and get as far away from Joel Miller as possible, there’s something about this moment that feels better than you can explain. It makes it so that your forehead presses against his spine and your front goes flush with his back. It makes you sigh softly as your eyes grow heavy and sleep pulls you back under. 

---------------------------

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[r0-boat]

Because I’m starving for the boy who clearly came out of a shoujo manga. The true beauty of Hades imho. Could I request some sweet and maybe spicy Foras headcanons? 🌸

Ooh YES!!

Foras headcanons

Nsfw&Sfw

Cw: stalking, dubcon.

Sfw

Foras is in unknown territory. It's just a flutter every time he sees you. You're so bright and lively that he shy is always so easily. But at the same time, it's that same bright and liveliness He wants to protect and cherish. He has never been in love before. And the fluttery feelings honestly scare him.

Balancing his love and loyalty for his king and his love for you is difficult... Especially when the two of you fight like angels and devils. He knows how much you don't like Levi but he'll still at least try to get you to have a better relationship. (He doesn't know the dynamic you two have) he can't help but selfishly fantasize about having both you and leviathan his arms. And he hates seeing two people he loves fight.

Foras wants you but never dared to act on those feelings; call it shyness. Or call it not wanting to give unwanted competition to his king. He avoids you when he's visible; when he's invisible, he's practically your new shadow. He passes off as an excuse, throwing his king under the bus. Telling you that Levi had ordered him to stalk you. (Something he would tell you if you actually catch him) which is half true. Yes, Levi wants him to follow you around everywhere you go to report back to him. But honestly, he's just as curious about you as Levi.

But will not fight you if You're the one initiates. In fact, he would prefer that; his heart would go wild if you pull on his ropes and pull them into a kiss. He doesn't care if he gets punished for this. He wants to feel your soft lips against his.

Touch starved. Extremely touched starved. Melting into your hand when you pat his head, touched starved. He wants more, but he doesn't want to ask.

He feels that little pain in his chest, poisonous jealousy when other devils get your attention. But, he had never acted out on those feelings before.

He would only do something if it protected you. Or if an angel attacked you and your all alone. He is the reason that water or snacks would magically appear if you say the your hungry or thirsty.

Nsfw

He can't say that he has claim over you, Even though it'd feel good too. He wants to claim you in more ways, claim the inside of his body in the most prime way. He touches himself every night dreaming to how you would feel. Every night, he would touch himself to you, wishing and wanting. He hates to admit it, but one time, he came into your room invisible and walked in on you, touching yourself. His breath was getting heavy and shaky, looking how your fingers and hands played with yourself. After a while of watching you, he gives in, sliding his hand into his pants to palm himself. Biting his lip to hold back his sounds.

His greatest fantasy is fucking you in front of Leviathan. Whether it be ordered to do so or not, it's something that he jacks off to constantly.

Despite being a devil, He's actually sort of innocent by devil standards. He has never had sex before.

Now that he is over you, his face is pink, and he is nervous; he wants to pleasure you. He wants to make you feel good. even though he's very nervous. At least he knows how you like to touch yourself.

Pull on his chains will you ride him; he'll go insane. Those things are just for decoration, so they might break, but he doesn't care. The sight was so hot he filled you up on the spot.

Closet pervert. Chivalrous knight of hell is a closet pervert! He has a virgin but at the same time he thinks about doing real nasty things to you you'll never know because of his straight face.

[cjrights]

Ight so somehow people wanted more of these? Y’all asked and tbh I’m still obsessed so here we gooooooooooooooooo. Sidenote mostly just fluff, but def some angst on the third one. Read at your own risk pls and thx. Hope you enjoy!

Paige Bueckers x Softball player reader hcs! (Part 2)

Consistently takes advantage of whenever you get dressed.

Luckily for Paige softball players needed to layer a lot, meaning it took a very long time to get dressed. Tall socks first, then sliding shorts, then undershirt or jersey depending on weather, then pants, and finally a belt. Needless to say, it took a good few minutes and your clingy blonde girlfriend positively loved it.

Today started like most game days, waking up with all four of Paige’s limbs wrapped around you, her whining at you for trying to get up without waking her (something about needing her morning kisses), and then eating breakfast together at the table.

Now you were sitting on the edge of your bed, clad in just a sports bra and sliding shorts, pulling on your socks, thankful you were about to be done with the long process. Until Paige decided to interfere.

“Babbbbbe,” she called as she walked in, blue eyes lighting up immediately when she spotted you half undressed.

“Don’t give me that look. You know I’ll be late.”

Blatantly ignoring you she all but leapt on top of you, crushing your figure down in the most gently powerful way someone who was 6’ could’ve. You groan and immediately go flat on your back. Your girlfriend seemed to forget she was basically six feet of muscle and seven inches taller than you.

“Paige!” You yelp irritated, looking down at your girlfriend. Who was now cuddled up against your bare skin, pressing into you as tight as humanely possible. “I’ve got to get dressed, coach will kill me if I’m late! You know I have to warm up the pitchers!”

���Well first warm me up! I’ve been freezing all morning and instead of cuddling with me, my girlfriend has been neglecting me!” she whines, burying her face into your boobs, tightening her hold.

You roll your eyes, “you sure we’re not just in a relationship because you love my boobs?”

“That’s part of the reason…but back to the point! I’ve been neglected so let me snuggle you!” she demands, pressing you back  down as you try to pry her off.

You scoff lightly, “yeah right because us showering together last night, spooning all night after that, and then eating breakfast together this morning is real neglectful, isn’t it?” You question sarcastically, biting back the urge to smile as she looks up at you with puppy dog eyes for a moment, then nuzzling back into your boobs in an effort to make you forget about it. “No Paigey, its time for me to get ready.”

“But I never got my good morning kisses. Just some stupid alarm.”

You blink slowly. Shit, you had forgotten her morning kisses. Each morning you woke her up with a flurry of soft kisses on her cheeks, nose, and forehead. Anywhere but her lips, that was only for when she was fully awake. “I’m sorry love,” you murmur, pressing kisses around her forehead, seeing a smile flutter on her lips, as she closes her eyes, falling into ‘sleep’.  You moved onto her cheeks, this time fully feeling the smile on her face. finally her nose, which scrunched up slightly and she finally opened her ice blue eyes, pressing her lips to yours which you eagerly accepted.

“Good mornin,” she mumbles, suddenly much peppier. “How’d you sleep?”

You smack her lightly on the back of the head. “Oh, shut it Bueckers.” Fully nudging her off you pull your jersey over your head, not missing her pout once your boobs went away. “Simmer down woman, you can cuddle them later,” you roll your eyes.

“You know if doing this every time you have a game works, I’m going to keep doing it. rig up that alarm to go off a few minutes before you wake up, so that way you have to rush and can’t give me kisses till now, definitely worth being a few minutes late.”

“Paige!”

She’ll pretend like she knows what she’s doing- she doesn’t and your coach forces you to educate her.

Paige growls slightly under her breath seeing you come up to bat again. It was a game against Florida State University. Not that the other team was the problem- no it was the umpire. In her eyes he was giving you a hard time, you and your teammates. Quite honestly he wasn’t just had a larger strike zone than usual. There had been a few calls that had been at your knees and should’ve been balls that weren’t. Not the worst call you’d seen made but definitely not an amazing one.

It was the bottom of the forth inning and your third time at the plate. Uconn was up by two runs and you’d been up twice, only go out on a dicy, but definitely a strike pitch that you’d had no choice but to swing at. Now you went up again and did the same thing, going out swinging on a 1-2 count.

And that had been enough to set off your girlfriend. She tried to keep her cool, she really had. Tried listening to the massive group of softball dads who’d somehow befriended her after two games into the season, tried the deep breathing exercises, tried to reassure herself you wouldn’t be upset. But nope.

“That was a bullshit call blue!” you almost do a double take at hearing the voice that no doubt belonged to your overprotective girlfriend. What in the hell was she doing?! The ump had made the right call, it just wasn’t apparent to someone who hadn’t played.

“Jesus Christ, has your girlfriend never watched softball?” questions one of your teammates as you head back into the dugout, popping off your batters helmet, and exchanging it for your catchers.

“Look she’s good at basketball I’m good at softball,” you mutter, feeling your cheeks tinge pink as you buckle the straps on your white shin guards.

“Excuses, excuses,” she teases lightly, before going off to talk with someone else in the dugout.

As you pull your chest piece over your head a sudden shadow overtakes you. Looking up you see your coach looking down at you, facial expression mixed with annoyance and amusement. “Uh hey coach, can I help you?” you ask cautiously, not knowing if he was upset with your last at bat or something, and feeling nervousness grow as you tested the waters.

“look I aint mad at you. What I am mad at is how your girlfriend talks about all this shit she thinks she knows. She doesn’t play softball and quite honestly it makes some of us look bad. Get it under control.” He finishes.

“yes coach,” you mumble, knowing paige would insist she didn’t need help and make this whole thing ten times more difficult.

He smiles and slaps you on the back, “that’s a girl! Now, go out there and make sure nothing gets by you.”

“So why are we driving to some random park?” paige questions, for what feels like the hundredth time in the past ten minutes, not taking her eyes off the road.

You sigh, “I told you before, we’re going to watch some softball and teach you some of the basics.”

“But I know the basics! And I know that ump wasn’t calling strikes well!” she pouts slightly.

Rolling your eye at her delusion you pat her thigh lightly. “no baby, no you don’t. Now come on!” you state hopping out of the car once she’d pulled into a spot. You’d been lucky to know about the local youth ballpark. They hosted plenty of rec league tournaments for baseball and softball alike, perfect for when you had to teach your girlfriend.

“A youth park?” she questions, slightly mystified.

“Yup. You want to learn softball? You start from the littlest level. Which in this case is our ten U team!”

You gesture at all of the girls, each one dressed in black pants a bright pink jersey sporting a panthers logo on it. they were quite cute to watch, all of them throwing grounders and pop-flys to their partners, then giglging madly when it went between their legs.

Paige felt herself smile as well, “well at least their kind of cute…” she mumbles, letting you lead her over to a set of metal bleachers, where you watch the girls warmup and explain some basics to her.

“So first, strike range, where is that to you?”

“Erm I don’t know, maybe here?” she makes a vague gesture at her torso and puts out her arms to show home base borders.

“Not quite,” you tighten her square up, narrowing down the plate significantly, then pushing her zone from her shoulders to her knees.

Her jaw drops. “How the hell can you hit it there?!” she demands.

You shrug, “just the way games work baby, the umpire says the strike zone and we adjust to it. course it varies slightly to each ump, but this is the general zone.”

As you explain realization slowly dawns on her face, eyes widening, “so when I yelled at that ump for his calls…”

You nod sympathetically, “you were yelling at him for something that was my fault.”

“Ah.”

“And now, your going to see it in action. Because these ten year olds somehow know the basics better than my twenty-one year old girlfriend,” you mutter, rolling your eyes.

“Is this really necessary? I mean it wasn’t that bad…”

“Yes Paigey, it was that bad. Now let the little ones show you how to do it.”

She grumbles softly but watches none the less. Thankfully, she seemed to learn rather quickly. Not that it was hard, in tenU most pitches either went right down the middle, straight in the dirt, or right over the catchers head.  “Well obviously its easier to tell now when the pitchings this bad.” She huffs grumpily, failing to realize the pitcher was walking directly in front of her, and heard the comment.

“My pitchings bad?” whimpered the little girl, seeming close to tears.

Paige’s eyes widened and she shakes her head rapidly. “What! No no! your doing great im just used to seeing it at a higher level and I just I-“ she goes on rambling, as the girl tears up even harder before bolting away from the crowd. “Wait hold on- hold this for me!” she shoves something into your arms then proceeds to take off across the ball ground at full pelt after the little girl.

As you sit, you see the parents giving you a dirty look, and slowly want to crawl inside your skin and never see the light of day again. It felt like hours you’d been sitting there when Paige finally returned, surprisingly with the pitcher, who was holding a bomb pop and chatting it up with your girlfriend. Happily, she scrambled back to her mom, as your frazzled girlfriend returned to your side, burying her face into your shoulder.

You giggle, “what happened to my big tough girlfriend?”

“She made a kid feel bad and didn’t know what else to do besides buy her the biggest popsicle at the concession stand and swear up and down she didn’t mean what she meant,” she mumbled into your shoulder, looking red as a beet, as the little girl talked to her mom and sucked at her slightly dripping bomb pop. “And offering to get her lots of autographs, hope your teammates don’t mind signing a ball.”

You roll your eyes, as idiotic as she was your girlfriend was quite sweet.

“If we ever have kids, please help me not be an idiot.”

“You got it Paigey, you got it.”

Post game routine after a loss.

You walk into the apartment all but chucking your coat down onto the floor and forcefully ripping your keys of your neck. Uconn had been defeated in a 9-7 loss against North Carolina State. You hadn’t played bad either; hell you’d an amazing game. Only one ball managed to get through you and you’d been quick enough to nab it before the runner of third seized her chance to advance. You hadn’t had a bad day at the plate either going 3-1, you’d gotten a dead ball to the back the first time, which now hurt like a motherfucker and didn’t let you lean against anything without hissing. Second time around you’d buried a base hit into right field, making it to first without problem. Easily after you’d stolen second and then third, where your teammate managed to snag a double and bring you in for the third run of the game. The last at bat had been similar, except instead of a grounder it was a line drive that smashed into the pitcher so hard she dropped it, giving you just enough time to bolt into first base, nearly taking out the baseman as you did so.

So you had done well. Why were you so pissy about the game? Probably because your teammates just gave up. You didn’t know what the hell had gotten into them in the dugout, you got down by one run and all of a sudden it was like a giant raincloud was over the dugout. They didn’t get back up either, they lost the battle the second NC State was. It had been horrendous, and when you went out to take the field you knew everyone could tell. Obviously, you couldn’t carry the entire team on your shoulders (although you certainly had tried). And so you lost.

“Babe?” Paige called cautiously. She hadn’t been able to go the game, NC was a long driver and she’d had exams that week. She’d watched the entire game on tv and knew that after a game like that and more than twelve hours on a bus, you’d either be sobbing or ready to kill anything that moved or both when you walked in the door.

Paige appeared around the corner, blonde hair pulled into a loose pony tail, clad in Uconn sweats and her matching sweatshirt.

When you saw her you felt all of your anger start melting off, slowly turning into a giant pool of stress and sadness that seemed to weigh down your entire body. “Hey,” you rasped, exhaustion hitting like a brick.

Crossing the room in a few short strides, her arms were around you, pulling you against her chest and nose nuzzling against my hair. “You did so good baby, even if you lost. You were so amazing, I mean those blocks and the base running,” she mumbles softly.

You don’t reply for a moment, just grip her sweatshirt and sniffle into it.

“I know baby, I know it hurts, let it out.”

Finally your walls crash down on top of you, and Paige feels the first tears wetting the fabric. “I don’t understand it. I don’t know why they all just stopped caring,” you whimper confusedly. “We came to play at Uconn because we loved softball and wanted to win. But then they all just give up and look at me like I’m supposed to be some superhero who can save them all! And I can’t!” you fully break into sobs at this point, feeling every ounce of pent of feelings come crashing straight into the hoodie.

“I know sweet girl, I know,” Paige mumbles, pressing kisses to the top of your head, swaying slightly back in forth in a soothing rhythm. “You do so much for all of them.” truthfully she knew exactly where you were coming from, it was a feeling any sports team would meet regardless of how good or bad they were. “I’ve got you baby, I’ve got you,” she murmurs soothingly, not letting go of you as you clutch her sweatshirt like it’s a damn lifeline.

By the time your done crying, your eyes have puffed out and Paiges are reddened from crying right along with you. She hated seeing you like this, and honestly it reminded her of herself during basketball, on how badly she would take the fault for the error of the team. Your eye black had been ruined, tear tracks dripping through the cross shaped marks on each cheek. And your game hair was mess. Instead of two neat Dutch braids it had turned into a tangled rats nest both from playing softball and then tugging at it out of stresson the bus ride home, an old habit from when you were a child that you were certain you’d never break. “How about a shower yeah?” Paige suggests gently, “get cleaned up and get some food before bed, yeah?” she questions soflty. You had all the control in the situation right now, she would do anything to ease your feelings.

“Y-yeah a shower sounds good.” You agree, inwardly cringing at the way you stutter. You were a captain, you were supposed to be the strong and brave one of the team, the catcher everyone could always count on, not some cowardly girl who stuttered and balwed her eyes out after a loss.

Paige helped you get undressed and into the shower, turning it on to almost scalding hot, the way you liked it. Gently she began working the shampoo into your hair.

“Sorry about that…” you mumble under your breath. “Its been a long day I guess,” a lame excuse but whatever.

“Hey, no, no, no, no, no, no.��� she states, putting more emphasis on each no as she goes. Lightly she grabs your chin tilting it up to look at her. “Baby, I know you hold yourself to a high standard but you are a human being, not a superhero. Quite frankly, your teammates are dicks if they can’t recognize the problem.”

You open your mouth to say something but she doesn’t let you get a word out.

“And before you start some big speech about how its not my problem and how I don’t need to do this I want to. So shush up and let me take care of you.”

You smile, a good real smile for the first time in the last two hours. “I love you Paigey, so much.”

“I love you too.”

The water sprays down your back, Paige’s hand blocking whatever shampoo suds threatened to get into your eyes. She grabs you both a towel, stepping out first and quickly wrapping you up. Then, not giving you a chance to protest, your scooped up bridal style and carried to your bed. She flops down next to you, smiling as you nuzzle into her.

“So, my girl feeling a little bit better?” Paige asks, pressing a kiss against your damp collar bone. She’d helped you change into pajamas, just one of her old hoodies then carefully detangled your hair, which had been a little messed up from its braids. Needless to say, a bit of one on one time and pampering had definitely helped.

You pressed closer to her, burying her face into her chest before mumbling a reply. “I’m always ok with you by my side.”

-This is sea otter anon, i just can't get to my emoji cause I'm on a laptop, but i swear im still sea otter (pls don't take me emoji i love it)

WOWWW you just get it every time babeee

this is beautiful i need more if you got it in you 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

[pauli-writes]

warning: fluff, gepard and reader are already in a relationship, gepard is a down bad for reader (i am not sorry)

pairing: gepard x reader; serval is also there

author’s note: i promise i’m working on requests, in the meantime take this, because wow i’m very behind on requests— (also definitely not proof read)

serval watched in amusement as gepard paced up and down in her shop. the reason for his troubles was you, poor innocent you.

the story between you and gepard was nothing short out of a book. him, the son of a noble family and you, the child of a simple shopkeeper. the two of you became friends when you were young children, and eventually started dating as teens and then stayed together through everything, even the stellaron crisis and the entire aftermath.

serval has watched this relationship grow since its first day, and has been rooting for the two of you since the beginning as well. and now here she was listening to her brother’s nervously telling her about his plan to propose to you now that everything has settled on belobog and thing were going well.

“serval, what would i even say?” he murmured as he paced. “what if they say no?”

the older landau chuckled, “you worry too much. i’m sure they won’t. they adore you.”

gepard sighed. “i know, i know. i just don’t want to get this wrong.”

“get what wrong?”

both serval and gepard jumped at the sound of your voice. how did you enter the shop with either of them noticing?

“nothing.” they replied simultaneously. you raised your eyebrows in suspicion, but dropped asking further questions. instead you walked closer and went to stand next to gepard. he looked a little nervous, which was unbefitting of him. serval meanwhile was watching him with an amused smile, which was very in character for her.

“okay… anyways, are we still going to dinner tonight?” you asked and gepard, almost automatically, nodded his head.

“yes, of course!”

“great, i’ll be ready at seven.” you got on to your tippy toes and pressed a kiss on his cheek, before leaving the shop with a wave. gepard watched you as you left and serval could see the smitten expression on her baby brother’s face. all of you had grown older and matured in your own ways, but this expression of pure unadulterated adoration was as unchanging as the ice and snow on belobog.

“geppie, you need to propose to them tonight.”

“serval-“

“don’t worry it will be fine.” and she said it with such conviction and confidence that gepard believed her if only for a moment.

later that day gepard picked you up from your home and walked you the restaurant you had a reservation at. he was the perfect gentleman throughout the night, what you didn’t know was the ring sitting idly in his pocket, making him more nervous by the second.

he was so concerned about trying to find the right moment, only for dinner to be over before you knew it. he mentally cursed himself as the two of you walked out the restaurant, if he didn’t propose now, he would never propose.

you, completely unaware of his inner turmoil, kept talking about your work and your daily life. then you heard the familiar melody of a guitar. “oh, look. serval is playing on the street. let’s go see.”

gepard could barely register your words before he was pulled along to where his sister was giving a small performance. a number of people were already crowding around her, but she easily spotted her baby brother and his partner. the two landaus locked eyes and serval gave her brother a look that said, “have you done it?” to which he shook his head with an almost ashamed expression.

it was time for plan b then, serval cut her current song short and started playing a song she knew you liked because of you visiting when she was practicing with her band. it was a bit slower than her usual work, but just perfect for this scenario

“oh, i like this song,” you said, humming along to the melody.

gepard chuckled at your adorable behaviour, “i know you do…” he locked eyes with serval again, and she nodded her head at him with a confident smile. “listen, reader, i’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

you turned your full attention to him as he took a deep breath. “we have been together for a while. i still remember when i first saw you in your parents shop as children, and now here we are, grown up and belobog is starting to rebuild itself too. what I’m trying to say is, i would like to spend the rest of my life with you, so will you do me the honour of marrying me?”

“yes, of course!” you replied without hesitation, jumping into his arms and hugging him tightly. gepard was a bit startled, and so were the people who were standing next to the two of you. after a few seconds you pulled away again, but a giddy smile remained, “i was wondering why you were so nervous the entire week. i’m glad it’s because of this and not some work related thing.”

“i’m just glad you said yes,” he said, taking your hand and slipping the ring on it. “i don’t know what i would have done if you hadn’t.”

you smiled at him, not even concerned about the expensive ring. “there is no universe in the world where i would ever say no to you, gepard.”

“noted.” he said with a flustered expression, his cheeks turning a little red.

serval watched from where she was playing her guitar with a smile. she stopped playing for a moment and shouted, “hey, congratulations you two lovebirds!”

everyone turned to look at you and gepard and you both blushed deeply in embarrassment.

as you all grow older some things may change and evolve, other things are constant, like gepard’s love for you… or serval’s teasing.

[thy-valhallen]

I don't think we talk enough about Tim being the first Robin who was fully from a time in which, from being a child with concrete memory onwards, the Batman and Robin were known entities.

Jason was alive and around, yes, but for Tim, Batman and Robin have been a solid fact of life throughout most of his existence. Tim doesn't remember a world without Batman and Robin, and he grew up in this golden age, really: his days of photography and true obsession with the Batfam were squarely in those perfect years where Batman and Robin patrolled Gotham and Nightwing was out in Bludhaven, carving out his own territory and name for himself. Sure, not great for them behind the scenes, but Robin #1/Nightwing was so obviously incredible at fighting crime that it literally inspired the rest of his generation of heroes. To be a kid, growing up in that era, had to have been wildly intoxicating, honestly-- to see your heroes at their very best, the peak of their performance?

And how much would it hurt to see a cornerstone of your reality crumble when a boy died in an Ethiopian warehouse? Suddenly, the pillars of Tim's life-- Batman and Robin-- were utterly out of balance, and he was so desperate to fix it, he happily stepped into that spot, regardless of how prepared he was to fill it. He's just so sure that it needs filling, by any means necessary.

I mean, even just thinking about his infamous line: Batman needs Robin. He's too young to remember that there was, in fact, a time were Batman operated alone. In reality, I think it's a bit less accurate to say that Batman needs Robin than it is to say that Tim believes Batman needs Robin.

And all this, in contrast to that fact that he should've been the one with a completely normal life. I mean, Dick, Jason, and Duke were pulled in by their tragedies, Steph, Damian, and Cass by their families. Tim though? He should've been a rich kid from Bristol forever. He should've stumbled on the truth of the Batfam and stumbled on past it, let it go. He should've become the head of Drake Industries someday, his parents uninvolved with the Rogues or any other madness of the city. But he didn't. Instead, this boy, who could've lived a perfect, happy life, abandoned all of that because he saw his heroes needed saving and had to try. Even when his idols turned him away and brutally denied him, he fought for it anyway, simply because he saw an imbalance that needed correcting.

doesn't it make it feel much more... predetermined, that Tim ended up becoming a Robin, knowing that this was all he knew? That Tim was inspired by this era of heroes, surrounded by it, to such a degree that-- being Tim-- he didn't have any choice but to follow in their footsteps?

I dunno, something about the idea of Tim being fated to be Robin, that he grew up surrounded, entranced by heroism to the point that, when an insane opportunity knocked, he answered without hesitation... i really like it

[its-irsaa-fyp]

🔴Note: It's Human au. I wanted to make it a novel but my plans are changed because I dont think I can and will ever write a novel I suck at story this story was actually inspired by a drama I watched long ago. I hope you all will like it 💞🤧

Ignore grammatical mistakes 😭

Edit: I added some new headcanons do check it out if have read it already

Pairing : Subaru and Yui / Ruki and Yui

Subaru is a prince whom has his own harem of girls.

Subaru has this likeness towards innocent and pure looking girls so most of his harem is filled with such girls.

Subaru recently lost his mother so he is in his emo phase where he spends most of his time alone as his mother was his comfort.

Subaru once recieve a gift ( painting) that caught his eye painting was off yui holding flowers and giving her cute smile in a white dress and subaru really like the way she looked as she reminded him of his mother so he kept the painting to himself in his room.

Yui is a normal village girl whom already was in a relationship /fiance of ruki and ruki is a guard of borders so he sometimes is away for work. Karl upon seeing how subaru liked the girl in painting decided to find that girl and give her as gift to subaru who is going to be crowned.

Yui whom kisses goodbye to ruki who is gonna return in 2 months after that they will get married she is than abducted by shin like shin is right hand of Karl (don't ask why but he is i wanna make story on him that's why he is here ).

Shin brought yui to harem against her will and separated her from her family . (Yui is 17 year old and subaru, shin and ruki are in 20s.)

Yui is than gifted to subaru. In Subaru harem, all girls want to get his attention but yui among them is the one whom receives it alot compare to others.

Subaru finds comfort in yui presence basically he finds peace with yui after losing his mother.

This causes harem girls to get jealous and in fit of rage they harm her face like scars her face which causes shin to feel guilty as she is treated like toy. Shin feels guilty as she is away from her family and now is gonna get used by prince for his amusement on top of that she is bullied by harem women.

Subaru at start had attraction towards her but it develops into deep love for yui.

On the other hand, Yui's only purpose was to get out of here and go home to her family. Shin at first stops her but than comply's with her and helps her to get out but subaru being more powerful doesn't want yui to go so he tries to make yui life peaceful but again yui is determined to go but subaru doesn't want to let go of her as she is his comfort in the lonely castle deep down he does feel guilt for keeping her here forcefully.

This is the main conflict between subaru and Yui as subaru gives her everything she wants but refuses to accept her one wish and that is to go home. That's what yui hates about subaru.

She gets angry at subaru for thinking of her like a gift instead of human subaru reassures her by saying he loves her but yui remains reluctant.

Yui develops hatred for Subaru and is quite expressive about it and this is what that causes others to develop dislikness towards her.

Yui and Subaru relation starts getting better when subaru saves yui multiple times and takes care of her this cause yui to develop soft spot for Subaru, after knowing about how much depressed he is after his mother death she will start sympathising him.

She will start thinking that subaru only has her in this world he feels as if he is alive in her presence that's what guilts yui whenever she tries to escape subaru deep love for her and his dependence on her always create mixed feelings in yui.

Yui whom is disliked by others and is mistreated will find comfort in Subaru. Yui will start feeling secure with subaru she at start will deny any feelings for him as she wants to remain loyal to ruki but ruki absence will cause her feelings to shift.....

Twist: Ruki returns and upon learning about the news of yui abduction he will start searching for her frantically he spends 2 years to find her.

Ruki will then find out she is abducted in castle he already has a background of soldier so he applies for a post in castle and he will be accepted in castle as a security guard.

Both ruki and yui reunite at a garden like place and when yui sees ruki, she will immediately hug him and starts crying he will also hug her back and says that he will save her and take her back to village where they will live happily.

Ruki will notice some scars on her to which she will tell she is abused shin than sees them talking and he connects dots as yui once told him that she had a fiance back at home.

Shin than sees subaru coming towards them he will immediately go and push yui unfortunately subaru will see only yui falling to floor because of the push and subaru will than get angry on shin and from corner of his eyes shin will see that yui is still not concious and is still trying to get back at ruki by approaching him.

As he is being scolded by subaru he will apologize and will mention about yui being pregnant and that he feels bad for pushing her as it could hurt her and all,that's when yui will realize the situation she will immediately stop her advances towards ruki.

Ruki whom still is stunned and will look at yui astonished and surprised but he will regain his composure and will hurrily get away from them as he isn't stable.

Later on, Ruki wont give up and ruki will confront yui by pushing her in nearby room and right now he is not cool he will loes his calm due to their argument ruki in fit rage will slap yui and than shin comes to beat some senses in him

This vulnerable state will cause yui to go into isolation allowing no one to see her, she will eventually lose child ruki after hearing it will be happy and will decide to reconcile with her during all this subaru and her relation will be strained.

After all this subaru just want yui affection seeing that she is doing this he will search for it in other concubines in his harem during all this shin isn't innocent he is the one who will manapulate yui into thinking that she is at fault and her decision is making people messy yui will fall into depression.

Subaru-yui relation will get strained and there will be ups and down as yui refuses to see or meet him this will cause subaru to go after other concubine and that's when yui will realize how much she loves subaru and want to be only one for him.....

To be continued.......

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