#i have this fear of wasting my twenties

[chasingthe2000s]

I turn 21 today :)

[hybridkilljoys]

I know people say youre never too old to improve your art but hoh boy does it suck when burnout has made it impossible to improve as an artist as much as you wanted to in the past ten years and now im slowly accepting im going to feel like a mediocre artist forever :')

[our-happygirl500-fan]

Something that I think is kind of interesting is that both Leo & Raph’s actions towards the start of the movie could arguably possibly be a response to everything that happened with the Shredder towards the end of season 2.

Raph: My Tonfa’s!

In the episode Shreddy or Not, the Shredder overwhelms the Hamato Clan & the Turtles end up loosing Karai & having to leave Draxum & Splinter behind in order to escape which ends up putting a pressure on Raph to now figure out how to defeat the Shredder & protect his family.

Raph: Why can’t I do this? I’m failing you

Throughout the episode Anataway Hitorijanai Raph, is stressed at the thought of fighting the Shredder again & admits that he thinks he’s failing his family when he doesn’t know how to protect them. However even after the Shredder is defeated the fear that he won’t be able to protect his family & that they’ll face an enemy that will outmatch them again is one that Raph still has.

Raph: Stop distracting Raph! We were supposed to be training--

Which is possibly why Raph is so insistent about training towards the start of the movie, Raph might be scared that another threat that they are unprepared for like the Shredder might come along again & that he and his family will be outmatched again.

Leo: And do I need to remind you who has four shells and defeated the Shredder?

Raph: [Growls]

Leo: H-hey!

Another possible example of how Raph is still effected by the events with the Shredder towards the start of the movie is that Raph kind of only gets confrontational with Leo when the Shredder is mentioned, before Raph sort of sounds more exasperated than angry but after the Shredder is mentioned Raph kind of gets noticeably upset & even goes as far as to knock the pizza out of Leo’s hand.

Raph: The Foot Clan?

Another piece of evidence that kind of show that Raph is still trying to deal with what happened with the Shredder is the look of fear that appears on his face when the Foot Clan show up as the Foot Clan are linked to everything that happened with the Shredder.

It has only been a few months since the Hamato Clan’s final battle with the Shredder & Raph is kind of desperately trying to make sure that his family never have to go through what they did with the Shredder again which might be why he was pushing for Leo to take training & heroics more seriously.

Splinter: Oh and Blue, you are the leader now

Leo: Wait!? What!?

In contrast to Raph who wants to prepare for the next threat or the next challenge or the next enemy so that the family will be ready, Leo could possibly be desperately holding onto the way things used to be.

Leo: The whole world is counting on you... to break the pizza box stack record! One-hundred, twenty-five boxes! You know they say it couldn’t be done, but look who’s doing it

When we see the present version of Leo at the beginning of the movie, he’s trying to break the pizza box stack record & it is that kind of activity that the Turtles used to do all the time.

In the very first episode of Rise we see the Turtles sneak onto a roof in order to jump into a pool, which are the kind of activities that Leo & his brothers used to do together before they suddenly had to deal with threats like Draxum, Big Mama & the Foot Clan. The fact that there is even a pizza box stack record for Leo to try to break also shows that balancing pizza boxes on their heads is something that Leo & his brothers used to do together only now Leo is being told that it is a waste of time.

Something that I think might be kind of important is the fact that it isn’t simply Leo being placed into the leadership possession that Leo has to deal with but rather Leo has to deal with multiple other aspects of his life changing in between the events of the end of season 2 & the start of the movie as well; as the Shredder had destroyed the Turtle’s old lair & they had to find a new one.

In the movie the Hamato Clan are still moving into the new lair which is why moving boxes can be seen throughout the new lair, considering that moving can be difficult for a lot of people normally the fact that Leo’s childhood home was destroyed in such a way that it would be hard to even visit it again might have possibly made moving even harder for Leo.

Donnie: I don’t know how much longer we can keep this up, he’s crushing us!

Leo: Really? ‘Cause I thought my overall ninjocity was totally working

Raph: So what if I say he- that word a lot. It’s a good word. We need to be that word.

Leo: Relax Raph. We’ve got this hero thing wired. I mean, our ninjocity is off the charts

Not only is Leo dealing with suddenly being placed in a new position in his family as a leader but Leo also kind of literally lost a piece of his childhood with loosing the old lair, in the events between the end of season 2 & the start of the movie Leo’s life has been full of changes & it is arguably stressing him out as seen when Leo uses the word ‘ninjocity’ towards the start of the movie which is usually a word Leo only really uses in stressful situations such as in the episode Many Unhappy Returns when the Hamato Clan was facing the Shredder for the first time.

With so much in Leo’s life changing it could be possible that Leo is trying to make things go back to the way things used to be by doing the things that he & his brothers used to do & trying to act like nothing has changed.

Leo: Relax. We’ll do what we always do. Ninja in, ninja their faces, ninja out.

Even in the original plan to rescue Raph, Leo uses the phrase ‘we’ll do what we always do’, for a lot of the movie there’s a part of Leo that wants to act like nothing has changed.

It could be possible that a lot of the reason for Leo & Raph clashing at the beginning of the movie is because Raph is desperately trying to prepare for the future, while Leo is desperately trying to hold on to the past. 

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Butterfly I

a/n I'm clawing my way into this fandom since salt and pepper god took over my brain! Be gentle with me since it's my first time writing for this man! Happy reading! 🤍

summery: When Joel thinks that his life is over his little butterfly sends him a new reason to stay alive. The only problem is that he doesn't know how to love but when you are the meaning of love itself how can he not fall.

Part II can be found on my blog

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

World had ended twenty years ago for Joel. Even more so, he was sure that he had died alongside Sarah. If he had a chance, he would have gladly been buried by his little girl. He didn't have a reason to be alive. Well, there was Tommy, but at that moment even that didn't seem like enough to keep him going. The moment Joel failed to do his first and most important job—protect the ones he loved—changed him without a chance of going back.

The morals had to die soon as well, and Joel had learned it the hard way. He tried to fight and protect the innocent at first. To stupidly ensure that everyone had been taken care of in the same amounts. Well, that resulted in him getting beaten multiple times. He didn't fight it at first. The physical pain numbed the emotional scars. But then something snapped in him, and he longed for the first blow. Then the second. Third. With a realization that this was how his sorry life was going be for the rest of his pointless existence. To fear less, Joel needed to become someone people feared, and he did just that.

Until, after one of his deals, he ended up running into you. Completely by accident as he tried to get away from the people he just had business with. Joel bumped into you, knocking you to the ground and causing you to hit your head on the pavement. "Shit, fuck", the male kneeled beside you cursing. You just laid there, and for a split second, Joel was convinced that you had died, until you let out a growl as you moved your hand to gently touch your pounding head. He debated whether he should just leave you there or take you back to his place. The first option was less complicated and demanded fewer efforts from him, but when he saw your eyes as you tried to look around, seeking to find who had caused such a collision, that's when he knew he couldn't just walk away like that.

Then a smile crept onto your face, followed by a light chuckle, and something inside Joel twisted again. He hadn't heard the sound of laughter in years. "Dang, for a moment I saw white horses running around", you laughed out loud, covering your eyes with your hands. Even more, concern washed over Joel. Had you hit your head that hard? He couldn't afford to get you medication or even a doctor for that. So he did the next best thing - assisted you in getting up and walking you to his place.

Everything after that was made up of Joel trying to hurt you so you would leave him and go your way. He desperately wanted to push you out of his life because he was afraid to admit that Sarah would have loved you. That she would have been nagging him constantly to bring you around. Imagining how life would have been with you before the outbreak. How would it have felt to come home to you making dinner? Hearing you and Sarah laughing together. Joel knew—he knew without even needing to think about it much—that his daughter would have loved you. He wished she had had the opportunity to experience your motherly love. The effortless, endless love that poured from within you. And finally, have a truly normal family built on love.

After all, Joel was convinced that Sarah had sent you to him herself. As if it was her way of making sure, even from heaven, which Joel barely believed in, that her father lived. Not just used up air and wasted his days away but found something to live for. You angrily bandaged Joel's arm one evening after yet another deal had ended poorly, leaving the man with a nasty cut on his forearm. Well, if he could even call that anger. Joel doubted you had that emotion implanted in your brain. You had pushed up your sleeves, not wanting the ends of them to get damp as you moved back and forth between a bowl of warm water and a cloth to clean the blood off his skin. That was the first time Joel saw the ink on your body. A butterfly, and then another one just above the first one.

Joel thought he imagined it at first. He knew he must have looked like a lunatic to you when he gripped your left hand firmly before pushing the material of your sleeve even further up. Three butterflies. All inching further up and up. Butterflies. Sarah loved them; she was Joel's little butterfly. The butterfly that got crushed by the brutality of this world.

"Joel," you carefully mumbled as his fingers traced the tattoos. A flicker of what was behind the mask flashed in his eyes. You knew that he was a broken man. People talked, and even if half of what they were saying was true, it was a lot to go through. Especially alone. Especially after losing the main purpose of your world. "This… when did you get this?", his words came out harsh, as if you should have felt guilty, "Not long before the outbreak. It just…", you giggled to yourself, "Feels silly now that they symbolize growth, a new beginning, and shit". However, it didn't seem stupid to Joel even if he had yanked the cloth out of your hand, pushing you out of the bathroom. Emotions took control of him. He couldn't love you. Couldn't stand you. But the way you kept knocking at the door, concern in your voice as you pleaded with him to let you in, only proved what he already knew. You two had found someone to hold onto. As scary as it may sound.

When Ellie first met you, she couldn't believe that you two were even here and had somehow mutually agreed on something. It seemed impossible to her. You were the polar opposite in her eyes. From the moment in the hallway when Joel had yanked her against the wall, you had warned the male as you leaned over to the girl. Ellie backed away at first, but it's like you had a magical touch, and not even a blink later, she was clinging to you as if you were the last straw for her survival. Joel had only grumbled more at the sight of that. "Get your hands off her," he said, motioning with the gun for the girl to move away, but all you did was tilt your head to the side, giving him one of those looks. "Joel…" you warned him, before turning your attention to the girl, "I'm Y/N, and that's Joel. He's always grumpy. It comes with age, so don't pay too much attention to him." For a moment, Ellie got scared that the gun might now end up being pointed at you, but the male only tightened his jaw before lowering the weapon. And that didn't change when you crossed the wall. You were there talking with her, making sure that she was okay, ensuring that Ellie's desire to communicate was satisfied, while Joel just frowned.

"Here you are", Joel's voice brought you out of your thoughts, and you smiled at him softly. You had just made your way to the safe house. Days of traveling rubbed off on all of you, so you were more than happy to indulge in some peace. "Was wondering where you crept away", even if Joel was 99 percent sure that he was going to find you here once he didn't find you in the dining room. It only took one look outside to know you'd be on the patio. Curled up on the bench watching the sunset. Any time you came by Bill's and Frank's, you always spent your evenings there.

"Missed the view," you mumble, resting your chin on your knees, "Or maybe the fact that there is nothing to fear here." Joel moved to sit next to you. His own eyes admired the view. He stopped doing stuff like this. Before the outbreak, it was work, work, work to keep a roof over everyone's heads, bring food, and give Sarah the best life that she deserved. After… well, moments like this felt almost forbidden. Not to mention that letting your guard down could get you killed. "Come here," Joel said, nudging your shoulder and wrapping his arm around you. Interactions like that between the two of you were rear but not completely foreign. You two had shared the bed numerous times. Joel had offered you a warm embrace when he saw that the world was close to crushing you. But you had never talked about who you two were or if you were anything more than a bed warmer for one another. "You do know that I would do anything to protect you?", Joel spoke out under his breath, bringing you even closer to him. Your heart skipped a beat as you moved your palm to cup his jaw, leaving a couple of kisses there as you nodded.

"Do you think they were happy when they…", you couldn't bring yourself to finish your sentence as the lump in your throat grew bigger. Joel hummed, "They had each other. That's all Bill and Frank needed". You moved to rest your head on Joel's shoulder. Breathing in both the scent of him and the brisk evening breeze. "Do you ever dream about finding the love they had?", the question was silly, truly, and you knew it. You and your existential questions had pissed Joel off more than once, but for some reason, you never stopped asking them. And for some reason, even through gritted teeth, Joel always answered them. The silence fell between you two for a moment. Joel hesitated to give you an answer. The truth was that the ten years you'd spent by his side had been surreal for him. Even if he constantly pushed you away, no matter the arguments you two would have, he always came back to you. Always. And you never walked away. You were always there waiting for him, even when he quite literally told you to get lost. When you were apart, all Joel could think of, was you. Nothing else mattered. He didn't matter. It was you who swirled around his mind. "Well," the male trailed off, "I've already…" But the door on the patio shot open as Ellie walked out, still looking down at the drawing on the shirt you had found for her.

"Hey, did you know that wild berry soup smells like strawberries?", she beamed till her eyes fell on the two of you. Her face instantly shifted since she had never seen you two this close. Well, she assumed that you might be together, but since she didn't see any grown-up interactions being exchanged, she just pushed that thought to the side. "Shit man, you are together. I was talking shit about him to you," Ellie practically cried out as she raised her hands above her head, making you let out a laugh against Joel's shoulder. "We're not dating, bug", "She talked shite about me?" you and Joel said at the same time. The fact that he had gotten visibly offended by it made you let out another chuckle before you tapped his chest a couple of times.

"Girls have to stick together," you shrugged, and Ellie quickly gave Joel the middle finger. "Okay, enough, you two. Go insane, pick something for dinner, and I'll be right behind you," you said, throwing the blanket you had with at the girl, as ushered Ellie inside. You brushed your hand over Joel's chest as you walked towards the door. Joel's brain screamed at him to catch your hand. To make you stop so he could tell you the words he was meaning to say before Ellie walked in, but he didn't. Only tightening his jaw as his lips thinned into a tight line. He was a fool. A true fool who never truly learned to express himself. If only he could, maybe he would be able to call you his.

Joel's gaze immediately shifted to the window that peaked into the inside of the house once the sound of something falling echoed through the air. You and Ellie were on different sides of the island. The girl had one of those smirks that usually led nowhere good on her face. Then the sound of laughter shot through the space as you took off running to grab hold of whatever Ellie was holding in her hands. The girl squealed as you both ran in circles. "Give me the spaghetti hoops, you little thief!", you yelled, but that only made Ellie laugh more. "I'll tell Joel", you tried to threaten her, but she only let out a huff, "You wouldn't snitch", Ellie narrowed her eyes at you. You quickly hopped onto the island and slid to the other side, taking hold of both of Ellie's hands but losing your balance as you two tumbled to the ground. Joel practically ran inside at the sight of that, the worst scenarios already running wild. He couldn't let you get hurt. Neither of you could get hurt.

Joel rounded the corner, his heart already beating fast. And here you were. Ellie was nearly on top of you as you, as you two stared at each other, both still confused at what had just happened. And then there it was again. The laughter. The whole-hearted laughter drenched Joel's heart dry. Your arms wrapped around Ellie as she giggled away, pressing her cheek against your chest. Joel picked up the can of spaghetti hoops that had rolled off and were long forgotten. "Oh no, daddy is here, and he is mad," Ellie shrieked playfully, not lifting her head away from you. "Don't call me that shit," Joel warned her before slamming the can against the counter. He quickly turned around, running a hand over his face. Your expression clouded as well. Carefully, you helped Ellie stand up. Her eyes were looking at you as if she were silently asking if she had overstepped a boundary, but you just gave her a quick wink before pointing to the pot. In a couple of steps, you reached Joel as your hands ran down his back. His muscles tensed under your touch, but the moment you pressed a kiss in between his shoulder blades, Joel let out a sigh. "How about you take a shower while we heat up the food? Clear your mind and all that?", you continued to draw patterns on his skin. Joel didn't say anything as he stepped away from you and over to the stairs.

"Is he mad with me?", Ellie's voice made you turn to her. Her big eyes watched you as you shook your head. "He… well, Joel struggles with his emotions. He cares a lot, but that ends up overwhelming him, and then this happens," you said softly, Ellie nodded her head as if agreeing with you. You nudged her shoulder gently and asked, "Want to make the whole feast tonight? Get the canned sausages out." The shower was indeed all that Joel needed. The hot water took that extra weight of tension off his shoulders, and the fresh set of clothes made him feel like a new man. He was excellent at ignoring his basic needs, but with you, there was no need to worry about that because you always reminded him about all the little things. Things to made him feel better.

Ellie was delivering joke after joke while you all ate. Her energy was surprisingly high, considering that the last couple of days had been rough. "I'm telling you, he just knows all the jokes", she grumbled when Joel hit the right answer to her fifth joke, defeating the purpose of her performance. Joel's hand had slipped under the table, casually resting on your thigh, and you occasionally gave it a little squeeze as if to ensure him that you were here with him. "Okay, can I try?", you weren't much of a jokester, but everyone knew a joke or two. Ellie nodded her head eagerly. You cleared your throat, "What do you call a fish with a bow tie?" You questioned the two of them, trying not to break into a smile. Ellie shrugged her shoulders. "SoFISHticated," Ellie just gaped at you, but Joel snorted under his breath. Your eyes fall on him in an instant. He shook his head, trying to keep the smile off his face. "You laughed, you fucker," Ellie said, pointing her fork at Joel. "I didn't," Joel argued back, "Yes, you fucking did. Y/N tell him", "Yeah, Joel, I consider that a laugh", you moved your hand to gently rub the back of his neck, and his eyes met yours. He got lost in the depths of them just a bit before another laugh escaped his lips. You bit your lip as you watched him, realizing how much you had missed the sound of that. Since the only time you heard it was when the two of you got shitface drunk, and he fell while trying to take his pants off.

"You can fucking laugh. Dude, you're normal," Ellie beamed, watching Joel chuckle. "Eat your noodles before I take them away," Joel warned, reaching over and scooping some of the spaghetti hoops from Ellie's plate, making her protest straight away. She leaned across the table to do the same, but Joel brushes her spoon away easily. "No playing with the food, you two," you gently warn them, even though you enjoyed watching them interact, especially Joel letting her in. They instantly settle back down, even if they continue to watch one another from the corner of their eyes.

Yeah, this was the closest to home that Joel had gotten in over twenty years. Now all he needed to do was own up to his feelings. Admit to himself that the scary feelings won't disappear. But he was going to be equally scared with you or without your officially being a part of his life. And he had promised Sarah, his little butterfly, that he wasn't going to let this go to waste. And that the three butterflies on your hand were possibly you, Joel, and Ellie; that you were all fated to meet. Maybe you two were sent here to change his life. Teach Joel how to fly again.

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

For the newly added Klee and Clara

Having there older sibling S/O person thing! Put on some charisma to try & bail them out of time out

(Genshin Impact/H:SR) Sibling!Reader trying to get Klee and Clara out of time out

"Retry the speech check, just reload and retry!" - The Russian Badger

Jean sighs as soon as she sees (Y/N) enter the room. Putting down her pen for a moment, she then looks at them approaching.

(Jean) "(Y/N)..."

(Y/N) "Master Jean! I am so sorry for the trouble Klee caused today!"

(Jean) "She knew the consequences when she decided to go blast fishing-"

(Y/N) bowed apologetically.

(Y/N) "It was my fault, Master Jean. There was something in the waters that spooked me, and she was only trying to help. I swear she didn't do it on purpose."

Jean watched their expression with close scrutiny before lowering her shoulders and giving a sympathetic look.

(Jean) "And you are telling me the truth?"

The sharp gaze of the Acting Grand Master made (Y/N) fidget.

(Y/N) "Yes, as embarrassing as it is..."

Jean walked over and put a hand on their shoulder.

(Jean) "I understand. You are a good older sister/brother for wanting Klee's situation cleared up."

(Y/N)'s expression suddenly beamed-

(Jean) "And as an older sibling myself, I know when another one is lying."

-And quickly reverted to fear.

(Jean) "(Y/N), you know the consequences."

...

Klee was sitting in "solitary", which was really just a relatively empty room inside the Knights' Headquarters, barring a few shelves, tables, and chairs.

Suddenly, the door swung open, and (Y/N) awkwardly walked in, with Jean behind them, arms crossed.

Klee jumped up in surprise, running up to her sibling.

(Klee) "Big bro/sis? What are you doing here?!"

(Y/N) "I uh...got put in time out as well."

(Jean) "You'll be able to come out when you think about what you have done wrong."

Jean gently closed the door, and both of them heard it lock, her footsteps slowly fading away.

(Klee) "Aw man, now we're both in big trouble..."

(Y/N) smiled as they knelt down to pat Klee's head.

(Y/N) "Don't worry, I have a backup plan."

They slowly reached into their pouch and pulled out a wrapped fish, charred to perfection from Klee's bombs.

Klee gasped as her eyes sparkled, looking at their brother/sister.

(Y/N) put a finger to their lips playfully.

(Y/N) "Not a word of this to Jean, got it?"

Klee nodded enthusiastically before the two shared their meal together.

Neither of them really learning their lesson, much to Jean's dismay.

A/N: Good luck with the speech check on THIS one, good lord.

Svarog stood stoically in front of a terminal, the light from his mono-eye gently pulsating.

Upon hearing (Y/N)'s footsteps, he turned around to face them.

(Svarog) "(Y/N). What is it?"

(Y/N) "Why is Clara in the corner?"

The light pulsated for a moment before turning around to the terminal once again, but still giving a reply.

(Svarog) "Clara has disobeyed a direct order to not eat the dessert before her dinner. Therefore, disciplinary protocols are in effect."

(Y/N) paused for a moment to remember what he was talking about.

(Y/N) "You mean the jar of cookies? It was only the one gone-"

(Svarog) "It does not change the fact it will ruin her appetite. Early sweets lead to fullness, which leads to food being wasted. Something that cannot be tolerated for someone of her age."

(Y/N) walked up to the terminal, giving puppy eyes to their robotic father figure.

(Svarog) "As the older sibling, you must not spoil Clara. Nor should I.-"

(Y/N) "It's just been a while since she got to have a cookie, Svarog. Surely you can remember that!"

His head slowly whirred to face (Y/N).

(Svarog) "My memory circuits are functioning normally. It has been twenty-seven days, eight hours, and fifty seven minutes since you and Clara have last had dessert.-"

(Y/N) "So that's why you can go a little easy on her! Clara didn't want to disobey you, but she was just having a craving! I promise she'll eat every last bite during dinner."

Svarog remained silent, barring the mechanical noises emitting from his body.

He turned completely to (Y/N), in what nearly sounded like a sigh from his gears moving.

(Svarog) "Your argument is...logical. Reducing disciplinary protocols, your presence is required."

(Y/N) smiled at that, following him outside the room to where Clara was standing quietly in the corner of their living room.

(Svarog) "Clara. You are permitted to leave time out."

Clara's head looked up in surprise before turning around and seeing her family, wiping one of her eyes.

(Clara) "I'm sorry, I won't do it again-"

(Svarog) "Do not apologize. My measures were...harsh for your actions."

(Y/N) "Next time you want to take a cookie before dinner, just ask either of us, okay?"

Clara looked at Svarog as he slowly knelt down and wiped away a tear gently with his mechanical hand.

(Svarog) "Your brother/sister is correct. Given permission, you will not be punished."

(Clara) "...T-Thank you!"

She gave Svarog a hug before running up and doing the same to her sibling.

Svarog watched silently, but both of them could tell he was at least happy to not see Clara sad.

(Svarog) "I must go back to monitoring the other humans outside the camp. Dinner will be prepared at 6:00 PM."

Svarog nodded and walked back into the control room, leaving the two alone.

(Clara) "Did...you convince Mr. Svarog to let me leave?"

(Y/N) ruffled her hair gently.

(Y/N) "Mhm. Just had to remind him that treating yourself won't spoil your dinner. Let's go out for a little bit until dinner so you can work up your appetite, alright?"

Clara smiled and nodded excitedly.

(Clara) "O-Okay!"

[breannasfluff]

Dink: Hey, I took your soul last month and- Time: No returns. Dink: *sobbing* But it's making me sad...

-----------------------------

Legend: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait.  Hyrule: You and me!  Legend: *tearing up* Ok. Legend: And for the record, I did not cry. You saw nothing.

-----------------------------

Shadow: Never gonna make you cry! Vio: Never gonna say goodbye! Shadow: Never gonna tell a lie— Blue: I will hurt you.

-----------------------------

Mask: I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

----------------------------

Sky: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be? Time: Maybe a bit tipsy? Four: Drunk. Legend: Wasted. Wild: Dead.

---------------------------

Warriors: I just watched Wild jump off of a spinning chair. Luckily, they weren't hurt that badly. But the whole time, Hyrule was screaming for help, which caused Twi to run in to help Wild. Just note that all of this happened in the span of six minutes.

----------------------------

Warriors: You’re mean! Legend: You’re meaner! Warriors: Yeah, well, you’re ugly too! Legend: You’re uglier! Warriors: You’re a dumb*ss! Legend: You’re a dumber*ss! Warriors: You think “dumber*ss” is a good insult!

-------------------------

Have some incorrect quotes because I'm stuck at home with the flu and have nothing to do.

- Moon Anon

I hope you feel better soon ><

I like the Dink one 😂

[skythighs]

Calista's Dream: Blood on my Blade

Hi, I'm back with another one. Once again, I don't own the pictures. I just used them for a vibe 😌

Word count:2.5k

Warnings: she cuts herself intentionally in this chapter but not because she wants to. Also, my future chapters will have adult content, so be aware that this is for 18+

Chapter 1

10195 AG

It was an unusually sunny day on Caladan and I wasted no time escaping from my mother. She’s planning the arrival of my betrothed who is due to arrive within a week from today. She’s coordinating flowers to match my dress and wine to compliment the chosen meat that will be served at the feast following the nuptials. Meanwhile I couldn’t care less about any of it. I didn’t have a choice in the matter so why should I be bothered in planning for it. He will arrive in Caladan an entire month before the wedding so that he can court me properly according to my fathers wishes. I was not opposed to the idea of courting, but it all seemed useless now. The Emperor ordered this arrangement; neither Feyd Rautha or myself would have chosen each other if that weren’t the case. Our houses were rivals, I dare not say enemies for fear of upsetting my father. He would no longer accept that term when referring to the family I would be marrying into. 

My dark hair blew in a strong gust of wind as I looked out at the vast body of water ahead of me. I would be leaving my home in just over a month and I had come to terms with it. I’ve been saying goodbye for now in my own way. It was not a final farewell for I knew in my soul I would die on Caladan, because I am an Atreides. I lay flat on my back in the damp green grass soaking in the beautiful sunlight, knowing I’ll soon be an inhabitant of Giedi Prime with its black sun. While deep in thought I notice Gurney running towards me looking upset. I sit up so he can find me easier in the tall grass.

“Gurney, what's the matter?”

“Little Duchess, your parents sent me to find you. They are here.”

“They?”

“The Harkonnens, my lady.They’ve come a week early, no doubt to catch us by surprise.”

“Feyd Rautha is here, on Caladan right now?”

The very idea struck me and I felt myself break out into a nervous sweat. I wasn’t prepared. I had more time to- to wrap my mind around his arrival. He wasn’t supposed to be here today. 

“Lady Jessica is in your chambers, you must hurry Little Duchess. She wants you to change and prepare yourself for a formal introduction.”

With that I’m off, sprinting across the tall grass in order to prepare quickly for the unexpected guest. Gurney's laugh in my wake is confirmation that my back is covered in wet grass stains. My mother will have to work magic to get me ready quickly. 

“Where have you been?” exclaimed Lady Jessica.

“You’re covered in grass Calista!”

“I’m sorry. They weren’t supposed to be here so soon.”

We remain silent while stripping the stained gown and damp underclothes. A maid pulled out an elaborate emerald green gown with matching jewelry and hair pieces. 

“Your father has already received our guest in the great hall. He is entertaining him there while they wait for us. The kitchen has already begun preparing a feast. Be calm, all is well.”

Jessica could sense the nervous energy from her daughter and it made her feel all the more high strung given the circumstance. 

“Do not show fear to him, Cali. For if you do he will crave more of it.”

“I know, mother. I’m just surprised, is all. I thought I had more time.”

Castle Caladan was warm and cozy even though it was large and spread out. There was a warmth deep within the stone of those walls that can not be manufactured. It was the warmth of home, of love and familial bonds, a feeling that came after the birth of Calista and had lingered for some twenty years now.

When my mother and I stepped into the great hall silence fell upon the Duke and Na Baron who sat across from each other at the great table. There was a tension in the air no doubt from the early intrusion made by the Harkonnen. It seemed the Na Baron traveled with nothing less than a small armada. A show of force perhaps from Baron Vladimir himself. One wall had Atreides soldiers lined up and the opposite was the same for the Harkonnnen. This felt less like an introduction between a couple whose pending nuptials were mere days away and more like a meeting before a battle. A last ditch effort to broker peace before the inevitable war followed.

My father and our early guest rise to their feet as I make my way into the room. My emerald dress swishes with each step I take, I ensure my shoulders are back and my head is held high. I would not be shaken by him. The great room is bathed in sunlight as the sun still shines brightly outside and for a moment I wish I was still just a girl laying in damp grass.

“Na Baron Feyd Rauth, may I present to you my daughter and Heir Calista Atreides.” my father places his hand on the small of my back as I stand beside him.

I reach my hand out to the Na Baron and feel his warm lips graze my knuckles as he bows briefly before me.

“It is a pleasure to finally meet you my lady.” 

Once he speaks I realize his teeth are painted obsidian black and I almost cringe.

His predatory eyes watched every twitch of my face muscles, every slight movement of my lips as I welcomed him to Caladan. His eyes remind me of the birds of prey. He watches calmly and intently taking in the lilt of my voice. More than this his own voice was so wholly unique it caused a slight shiver to travel up my spine. He was so pale white the sun shining into this very room could damage his skin. He wore black armor similar to the Harkonnen armada standing around the room. I take him in from head to toe and have to crane my neck to look up at him. I had always been small and now as a grown woman of nearly twenty I stood an entire head shorter than him at least.

He seems pleased by the fact I have to look up at him to see his eyes and he offers me a wolfish grin.

My mother interjects with “We have prepared a feast for this evening once you have rested from your travels Na Baron. Calista will show you to your chambers now.”

My mother gives me a pointed look that only mothers have mastered.

“Of course follow me.”

With that I'm off leading him down winding corridors a few short paces ahead of him as he shortens his steps to stay just behind me and out of sight. For the sake of being polite I decided to try and make conversation with him.

“We weren’t expecting you so soon Na Baron, is there a reason you moved up our scheduled timeline?”

 I attempt to turn my head slightly just to catch him in my line of sight, but he intentionally evades my attempt.

“I didn’t want to wait any longer.” His gravelly voice made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

Quick and to the point. I halt my steps and face him head on as he smirks down at me. My reaction amuses him it seems.

“Are you saying you arrived here early because you couldn’t wait one more week to see me?”

He takes a large step towards me, making my breath catch in my chest.

“You’ve been mine for the last six years. I’ve waited long enough to see you with my own eyes, those pretty little portraits didn’t do you justice.”

He reaches his large powder white hand up and catches a strand of my long ebony hair. He rubs my silken hair between his fingers as he stares into my eyes without blinking. 

“You even smell pretty, Lady Atreides.”

He wantonly sniffs the strand of hair in his grasp. Making me shudder in disgust, and some other ambiguous feeling. I attempt to separate myself from him but he won’t budge, he continues to stare me down with his near dead eyes.

“Let me show you to your chambers Na Baron, you must be exhausted.”

I refuse to show him an ounce of fear remembering my mothers words. Besides he was on my home planet, I need not fear anything on Caladan. 

He smiles at me showing his black teeth much to my unease but he releases my hair and we continue our trek in silence.

As we reach his chambers I bid him farewell until the feast that is and take my leave quickly. The hairs on the back of my neck tell me he watches from the doorway as I make my departure. He watches me until I am completely out of his sight as I turn out of the guest wing entirely. Only then does the gooseflesh on my skin settle down.

Back in my own chambers my mother meets me in the corridor.

“Did you show fear?” She asks seriously. She was gripping her own navy gown tightly between her fingers.

“No.”

I grasp her worrying hand on her gown.

“B-but I think I amused him somehow. He said-”

Using the Atreides battle language she motions they will continue this conversation in her chamber with the door closed.

Once inside my chamber we secure the door and settle onto my chaise lounge chair together. 

“He told me he showed up here early simply because he was tired of waiting to see me.”

Lady Jessica tensed up slightly, alarming Cali.

“What? What is it?”

“He is eager to wed you it seems. I was hoping he would be indifferent, for your sake my Cali.”

Realization dawned on me the moment my mother voiced her concern. He was eager, he was looking forward to- to having me as his wife.

The evening came quickly and after changing into a fresh gown per my mothers request I was heading into the great hall for the welcome feast. My new gown was light blue and white lace with matching jewels of course. I wore my hair entirely up to avoid another incident with the Na Baron touching my hair without permission. I hoped to convey a message to him. A message that said, I don't belong to you. Not yet at least.

 Once I entered the great hall I noticed my father was seated at the head of the table this time with Feyd Rautha at his left hand side with an empty seat beside him closest to her father. My mother sat regally on his right hand side taking stock of our Harkonnen guests around the table.

When the men noticed me they both stood and went to pull out my chair in unison. Feyd Rautha insisted as I was his betrothed and my father sat awkwardly, not used to his daughter being the center of another man's attention.

“Thank you Na Baron.”

I say politely as I take my seat. He then moves his chair a couple inches closer to my own than it was before. Not very subtle at all I think. He retakes his seat and quickly calls for my goblet to be filled with wine. Well isn't he attentive? I wonder if I can expect the same level of care once we are on Giedi Prime. Is he just luring me into a false sense of safety before revealing his true self? Try as I might I can’t seem to get a good read on him and it bothers me and puts me on edge.

He didn't speak much at dinner until it was time for speeches and thanks to be granted to the hosting house.

He stood from his seat beside me and raised his goblet of fine Caladan wine.

“I would like to take a moment to thank Duke Leto Atreides for being so hospitable to me although I arrived before our agreed timeline. However, having seen my bride in all her glory I should have come sooner.”

Many Harkonnen men bellow out joyous laughter at that and agree with whoops and cheers.

I look between them uneasily feeling like a prized trophy already.

“I would like to present my lady with a gift.”

A meek Harkonnen servant appeared with a finely decorated box that could only hold valuable jewels. He took the box from the servant and faced me. I took a short sip of wine to cover my nerves and received the box with a smile.

I opened the box and barely contained my shocked gasp. It was indeed not fine jewels, but a bloodied dagger. Not a clean dagger but a bloody one, even the handle was covered in blood.

“I- it’s lovely. Thank you.” I give him the best smile I can muster.

“It’s a Harkonnen tradition as I’m sure you know.”

His dead eyes seemed to come alive with some unknown emotion.

“Of course. I just didn’t realize the blade was meant to be...used.” 

I gesture for my gift to be brought forward so that I can offer it to him.

He opens the box and inspects the blade thoroughly. 

“A fine piece of art.”

“I do apologize since it’s missing blood.”

He looked at me and tilted his head as he looked me up and over taking note of the neckline of my gown.

“Certainly you can remedy that, My lady.”

He hands me the blade with an expectant look.

“I don’t understand, Na Baron-”

“-Your blood would do most nicely.”

There is a chill that freezes my blood to the bone. He sits once again in his chair that is still too close to mine. 

“I’m not sure what you mean.” 

I look at him as if he’s grown a second head. While my father watches the interaction closely, waiting for the slightest misstep on Feyd's part so he can call in our soldiers to defend the future Dutchess. My mothers warning plays in my head and I know what I have to do.

I take the pristine blade and grab the hilt, slowly and precisely I drag the blade against my palm covering it in my very own blood.

Once again his eyes are lit with some unknown emotion. All I know is they don't seem so dead when he looks at me that way, and I feel myself blush. He takes my offer staring at it in what I can only describe as reverence as he places it carefully in its rightful place. The same meek servant steps forward and removes the gift from the hall.

[raainberry]

Eyes Off You

« Silly Series - 3 »

Sana x gn!reader

Fluff

synopsis - even late at night, when you should be closing them, you just can’t seem to be able to take your eyes off each other.

wordcount - 576

A/N - had my glasses on for this one #twins🤭 BUT enough with the underlying suffering that’s been going on my page lately with Sana, here’s some proper fluff. enjoy!

01:04am

You’ve been laying in bed for the past hour or so, melting into the sheets at the mere sight of each other.

Nothing mischievous going on—far from that—although she is practically on top of you, her cheek along with half her chest having found a resting place against your stomach.

All you’ve been doing is having quiet, meaningless conversations and sharing a few laughs as your hands and fingers intertwined here and there. It’s a pure relaxing time, finding comfort in each other’s touch and proximity on this rare, quiet night.

She’s been fighting against her own eyes begging to be shut for the past twenty minutes, just so she could spend one more in this moment. You noticed that long before she even did, and it warmed your heart just as much as it broke it.

You don’t want her to tire herself out, but you want the same thing.

You want to stay just like that, to feel her so close to you that you could melt at the warmth it caused within your chest. You want to look at her, to stare and appreciate how beautiful and cute she was, like you’ve been doing. All night long. You want her to look back at you the way she’s been doing, with that sparkle she only had when laying her eyes on you, with that smile you would do anything to even get a glimpse of.

You want to love her just a little more for today.

Your own thoughts pushed you to lift her hand up to your lips, leaving a soft kiss on top of it. Her eyes fluttered, along with the butterflies in her stomach; and the gesture allowed you to see her smile again, a sleepy one this time.

“Just give up.” You said amused, your voice just above a whisper in fear of disturbing how peaceful this all felt.

A soft chuckle left her lips. The words had slowly faded out between you two, rendering her fight that much harder.

“I don’t want to.” She mumbled.

“The you of tomorrow will hate you.” You warned.

“Sounds like a problem for her, not for me.” She sassed, and your laugh was careful as to not shake her too much.

“It’s still gonna be you.”

Sana sighed, suddenly taking interest in playing with your fingers in her hand. Anything to stay up.

“If I go to sleep now, you have to go with me.” She bartered.

“If I ever say no to that just slap me.”

“You could have just said okay.”

You only smiled at her fatigue-induced annoyance, pulling on her hand to encourage her to come and lay down properly. That meant next to you, where you loved having her the most. Where she loved to be the most. That’s why she didn’t waste a second more on your chest, and moved to her side of the bed.

You felt her absence when the cold air hit through your shirt, it was almost ridiculous. She was right next to you, there was no need for such dramatic effects.

You pulled yourself away from the headboard, turning on your side to face her only to find her eyes already closed. She could have unwillingly fooled anyone else, but you knew her enough to notice otherwise.

“Sana.” You spoke softly.

“Hm.” She hummed, letting you know she was seconds away from drifting off.

“I love you.” Her eyes opened just enough to see you one last time, a lazy smile pulling on her lips once more until tomorrow.

“I love you too. Goodnight.”

[little-spicy]

SUNRISE, SUNSET

!Orc Stucky x !Princess Reader

Summary: In order to save her kingdom from a war that would turn fatal, Y/N sacrifices herself as an alliance between orc and human.

❗️❗️WARNINGS; SMUT!!! 18+Tummy bulge; praise kink, size kink, etc.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!

Part 2

IT WAS THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AS THE PRINCESS STOOD NEAR THE DOOR. She could hear the sound of her father shouting at his councilmen, his anger drowning out the fear that dwelled in the room.

"I REFUSE TO SURRENDER!" He shouted and as his councilmen stood silent one came forward.

"King Anthony as much as we refuse to accept it, whether we like it or not the Orcs have beaten us and our kingdom isn't safe." One of his men; James Rhodes said.

"If we lose then my wife, children, everyone is at stake for an attack." The King said and with a sigh sat down in one of the chairs.

"We could speak with their leaders, perhaps they'd be willing to compromise." Another man; Fury said.

"We'd be wasting our breath, what would they be wanting that they couldn't take from by invading?" Rhodes asked.

The princess could no longer listen and scurried away from the door as they hardening news weighed on her.

This war had been troubling ever since she was a child and to hear that everything was going to crumble. She remembered when her father had been in the war and now all these years had caused him to grey and her mother was just as tired.

Her little sister Morgana was only a child and if anything were to happen to her, she wouldn't know what to do.

"My lady, you mustn't be up this late." Her lady in waiting; Natasha said. "If you're found I'll be in heaps of trouble."

Natasha led the princess into her room and the princess turned to her as Natasha shut her doors.

"Natasha tell me about the Orcs?" She asked and Natasha turned so quickly her head could of gotten whiplash.

"Orcs are monstrous and strong creatures, strong as twenty men. I've even heard they've even taken maidens as wives." Natasha said. "But I-"

The princess drowned at Natasha's babbling as she thought of what Natasha said when she meant that Orcs took human women as brides. She chewed her lip in thought and her eyes widened.

"- never met an orc in person I-" Natasha was cut off by the princess.

"Can you help me get out of the palace?" She asked and Natasha looked confused.

"What do you mean? It's late enough as it is and-" The princess cut her off.

"Natasha it's important I need to speak to the leaders of the Orcs." She said urgently and touched Natasha's shoulders. "It could change everything."

"My lady if we're found-" Natasha was cut off again.

"I'll say it was my idea and that I ordered you, now come on." She said as she grabbed her cloak from her desk.

"What are we doing exactly?" Natasha asked her as she grabbed a cloak as well.

"To make a deal." The princess said and with that, Natasha grabbed a lantern and quickly lit it. Entering the hallway and leading the princess to what she think was her doom.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 

THE PRINCESS TURNED HER HEAD AS SHE SAW THE CASTLE FROM A FAR DISTANCE. The sound of frogs and crickets rang throughout the forest and fireflies could be seen faintly lighting it.

Natasha stood in front of the princess, lantern shining bright and their hearts beating rapidly.

"This where we go to find them, my mother spoke of the forest being the home of all creatures." Natasha said and as they stepped forward each step made a loud crackling sound. "Stay behind me."

"I trust you." The princess said and as she followed Natasha and her went deeper into the forest.

"You still won't answer my question, what are you going to offer them?" Natasha asked. "I mean what's more valuable than ransacking a kingdom? They aren't know to taking gold and leaving peacefully."

"It's for me to discuss with them." She said stubbornly. "It's a private matter."

"I can't believe the war is over though, do you remember when it first started?" Natasha asked and the princess shook her head.

"It's started when I was so young, it's been going on for 10 years." She said. "Morgana was born during the fourth year of the war."

"It's always remember the bloodshed but yet never remembering what started it." Natasha said. "I remember hearing the bells and the sound of my father being taken to war."

"So many men were put in the war." The princess remembered. "I remember my father talking to the crowds of men when I watched from my window."

"All of this to be for nothing." Natasha said bitterly. "What a way for the Stark kingdom to fall."

"Not yet." The princess said and suddenly they stopped as Natasha saw the glowing of a light in the distance.

"I think that's their camp, we need to lay low or-" Natasha was cut off by a low grumble.

"Well what do we have here?" The two girls turned around quickly as they stood in front of an orc. The princess had never seen one in person and as she stared up at the large creature, she was terrified.

Their strong and large stature made her feel like a tiny bug that they could squash at any moment.

"It seems you two little girls are lost and all alone." The orc chuckled and as he was about to touch the princess, she firmly slapped his finger away and looked at him.

"I need to speak to your leaders, it's very urgent, I beg of you." She said and the orc laughed.

"And who must you be?" He laughed and looked at her smugly.

"I'm princess Y/N of the Stark kingdom." The orc stopped laughing and his face turned stern.

"Well then, come with me." He said and she nodded.

"T-thank you." Y/N said and the orc ignored her and Natasha looked at Y/N in shock.

"We need to-" Y/N turned to Natasha quickly.

"No, we can't leave now, Natasha I need you to understand everything I'm doing is for the kingdom." Y/N said and Natasha said nothing as they began to follow the orc.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"SIRS, THE PRINCESS IS HERE TO SEE YOU." The orc said amusingly.

When Y/N and Natasha had entered the orc camp, everyone had turned to see the princess and her handmaiden following to whom they heard their name was Bruce.

Y/N looked as if she would throw up and as she stood in front of the two leaders, she felt as if she couldn't move.

"The princess? Well what a lovely surprise." One of them said.

Y/N looked at the leaders and saw them bigger and more large than most of the orcs in the camp.

One of them had dark blonde hair and a beard that went across their large jaw and their tusks getting lost in the sea of dark blond curls, he wore a bear skin that draped across his large toned body, and robes that was under it, gazing at Y/N with questioning.

The other who spoke, was a bit shorter but not by much, he was more thick and more muscle and his long brunette curled contrasted with his green skin. However on the brunette's left arm was gone and all that was there was a metal one to replace it. He wore a wolf pelt instead and he had similar robes to the other man and looked more deadly than his companion.

"I came her to talk to you, privately." She said as turned to Bruce and Natasha.

"Leave us." The brunette said and Natasha looked at Y/N fearfully. "Don't worry your friend won't be harmed."

"Come along little minx, I don't bite." Bruce said and Natasha looked at him unconvincingly.

"I highly doubt that." She said and as the two of them left, only Y/N and the orc leaders remained.

"What is it you wish to speak to us about?" The blonde one asked.

"About the war, my father doesn't know I'm here and I-" Y/N was cut off by the brunette.

"If you think we'll surrender you're out of the question, this war has been nothing but pain for our people, pain your grandfather caused." The brunette growled.

"Bucky, calm down." The blonde said. "What about the war, I understand you know that we've won and there's nothing we can do to stop that."

Y/N looked at them both and fiddled with her thumbs and but her lip.

"I understand that, I was proposing- a- uh- an alliance." Y/N said and as she waited for their response all she got was laughter from them and her face turned red from embarrassment.

"If you'd ever think we'd be allies your surely mistaken we've-"

"I'm willing to become one of yours' bride, I'll give myself to one of you if it means that you'll spare our kingdom." Y/N said and then came forward and got on her knees and had her head down.

Both orcs looked down at the princess in shock, their eyes widened as the princess stood before them and they could see that she was serious.

"You don't understand what your giving." Bucky said and Y/N looked up to him and a tear fell down her cheek.

"I do, I would be the most devoted wife, if you don't wish to I understand but-" She was cut off by Bucky.

"Steve and I are to share a mate, we are very serious about our mates. Once we've made this deal you can never go back, this will be your fate." Bucky said and the blonde; Steve nodded.

"B-both of you?" Y/N asked as she looked at both of them and they smirked.

"We share, and we've always had the notion of sharing our mate." Steve said and put his finger under Y/N's chin. "You'll be our princess."

Y/N gulped and nodded.

"I'll be your princes but only if you spare the Stark kingdom." She said and the orc men nodded.

"It's a deal." Bucky said and Steve suddenly picked up Y/N and she screamed. Steve put his hand over her mouth and her screaming was muffled.

"We aren't going to hurt, we just wanted to pick up our bride." Steve said and she stopped screaming but the fear never left her eyes as she looked at Steve. "Notify the clan, we are leaving. But not before the princess sends a message to the king."

Bucky nodded and as he left the tent with a grunt, Steve placed Y/N down to were he was sitting and grabbed a piece of parchment and a feather with ink.

"Send your message, then we must be off." Steve said and Y/N looked up.

"Can't I at least say goodbye?" Y/N asked and Steve shook his head.

"Knowing your father he would never let you leave and this deal has been struck, if he dares to break our deal than your kingdom will be in ruins." Steve said and Y/N shut her eyes and tears fell from her eyes and onto her cheek.

Steve looked at the small human and felt a pain of guilt, he wiped the tear away with his giant hand. Y/N winced and Steve once again felt guilt.

"Maybe one day." Steve said and the emotion on his face then disappeared as he got up and exited the tent.

Y/N watched his retreating figure and once he was fully out of site, she looked down at the parchment in front of her and a tear fell onto the sheet.

She fully comprehended what she had just done, she didn't regret it but nevertheless still felt waves of sadness as she wrote down each word, saying goodbye to her family on the paper, and the last words she would ever say.

"I hope one day you understand." Y/N said to herself and as she signed her name down on the scroll, she wrapped it up and sealed it.

As she did, she didn't notice her soon to be husbands entering the tent. She felt one of their fingers on her shoulder and she jumped.

She turned to see them with their stoic faces and she looked away and held up the parchment.

"It is done." She said and Steve took it and nodded.

"Come princess, time to leave." Bucky said and with no warning picked her up again and she gasped.

She looked up to him as he held her.

"Get use to it, you humans are such small and fragile creatures, our mate is not to walk." He chuckled and Y/N tried to ignore the heat rushing to her cheeks.

"I-I'm very fine with walking S-Sir." She said nervously and Bucky snarled.

"I wasn't asking." He said gruffly and took her out of the tent. Y/N looked and saw all of the Orcs looking at Bucky and more directly her. She felt like shrinking away, Bucky could feel that as she squirmed in his arms and glared at everyone. His gaze made them turn away.

"LETS MOVE!" Steve shouted and all of the Orcs nodded to Steve.

Y/N began to feel drowsy in Bucky's arm, the way he swayed her in his arms lulled her closer and closer to sleep.

"Sleep princess, we have a long journey home." Bucky said but Y/N had so many questions, but he fight was sleep was stronger and as she tried to fight, her eyes closed and soon her light snores could be heard by Bucky.

"Well Buck, this seems like a better bounty than gold, huh?" Steve said and Bucky smirked.

"Once we get home, get the ceremony started as soon as possible." Bucky said and Steve agreed.

"The sooner the better." Steve said and soon they began of the ceremony, looking down at their princess every so often and excited for what was to come.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It was days later and they clan had traveled back to their home. It was already spreading like wildfire that their leaders were marrying a human princess.

Everywhere Y/N looked Orcs would stare and whisper. It was hard for Y/N to be in a strange place and to have the Orcs whispers but it wouldn't last long when Steve and Bucky would glare and pick her up, showing the clan that she was theirs.

She knew how possessive they were, it wasn't hard to tell when every moment they held her and cradled her. Every time they did it was hard for her not to blush.

She knew that they were gentlemen and could see how gentle they were trying to be with her but she knew after the ceremony it would be more than holding.

She was scared, scared of what to expect, she has been told of bedding. She was a princess of marrying age, it was told she was suppose to marry a prince from the Odin Kingdom.

But this was different they weren't a man and she didn't know if she was going to see something darker after the ceremony.

Of course she was more nervous once they began to explain that the ceremony was to be happening as soon as possible.

She could tell how much it meant to them as they explained how their mothers would say it was important.

Y/N was standing in one of the tents and dressed in a simple white gown. Her hair was put up and flowers were placed in her hair.

She looked at the mirror as Natasha did her hair, Y/N tried not to cry but her fear was overwhelming. She is trying to understand the orc men but she feels like a sheep ready for slaughter.

"We should of never done this." Natasha told Y/N. "I never should of listened to you, it's my fault."

"I don't regret what I did." Y/N said and as tear up, she wiped away tears. "It's just I wish I could be braver."

"Just keep your chin up." Natasha said, and Y/N nodded. "You'll be fine."

"I heard your going to be mated as well from what James told me." Y/N said and Natasha nodded and huffed.

"That guard Bruce ." Natasha said and looked at Y/N with a sad smile. "It already happened, while we were traveling."'

"Natasha I'm so sorry." Y/N said but Natasha shook her head.

"No it's alright, I may of judge him, and their kind a bit too soon." Natasha said. "He is gentle really- it's just I always though Clint would be my husband- and I-"

"Still I should of never-" Y/N was cut off by Natasha.

"No id rather be here with you than you alone."'Natasha said and finished the last touches. "Besides maybe the leaders won't be too bad, they have a beautiful and fierce princess as their mate."

Natasha let Y/N see her full look and Y/N looked at herself and for a moment forgot about everything and smiled.

"You look beautiful." Natasha said and squeezed Y/N's shoulder. Y/N was brought back to reality and let out a shaky sigh.

"Lets go to my ceremony." Y/N said and Natasha turned Y/N around to look at her.

"Give them a chance, I did with Bruce, what's the worst that could happen?" She said to Y/N. "Bruce took a vow and it's important to them with this vow that I know and I promise you that it won't be bad."'

Y/N listened to Natasha's words with a nod and Natasha led her outside the tent and there stood Bruce.

He was outside waiting and he bent down and kissed Natasha's forehead. Y/N looked at Natasha and Bruce and what Y/N saw was true. He looked like he was being careful, gentle. Not at all when he first met the two.

She could see Natasha needed time but she could tell Bruce would never harm her.

"Steve and Bucky told me to take you to the river." Bruce said and Y/N nodded.

"Is everyone f-from the clan going to be there?" She asked and Bruce shook his head.

"No, our ceremonies are very sacred." Bruce said. "Just the elder and our leaders will be there."

Y/N nodded and Natasha held her hand and squeezed it.

"It'll be alright." Natasha said and Y/N let out a shaky breath.

"Time to move, the sun is setting." Bruce said and led them down the path.

The fireflies glowed in the orange and purple hues of the forest. Y/N held flowers in her hand and at each step she felt sick.

She followed behind Natasha and Bruce and had her head down.

She wished her mother could of been to the ceremony, especially her father. She remembered her father telling her she would be the prettiest bride and that he couldn't wait for the day that he could dance with her.

But that sadly would never happen, she missed her family with every fiber of her being but always reminded herself it was for her family.

The farther they walked Y/N could hear the sound of the water flowing in the river. She could see torches lit in the distance, and flower scattered across the floor.

"This is where we leave you." Bruce said and lifted Natasha into his arms and nipped at her neck, which she blushed. Y/N looked away and as the two left her alone, she could hear Bruce growl.

Y/N looked ahead and saw Steve and Bucky in the distance and in between them was what she assumed was the elder of the clans.

Y/N gulped and walked to them and there they stood with special pelts and flowers on their pelts. They were groomed and could tell they had freshened up for the ceremony.

"This must be your mate." The elder woman said. "I'm Okoye, one of the clan's elders."

"H-Hello." Y/N stuttered and the warm smile of the elder calmed her.

"It is okay my dear, no need to fear." She said and looked at the two men. "May we begin?"

"Yes, please." Steve said and looked down at Y/N and for the first time, Y/N had seen joy on Steve's face.

"Yes." Bucky said and Y/N could see the same expression on Bucky.

"We stand here today in nature, within the glory of this land to bind you three together." Okoye began. "We treat our other half with love but most importantly trust, you have your cloth?"

Steve nodded and pulled out a blue silk cloth and Bucky a red one and held it out to her. She grabbed it and looked at Y/N.

"Come my child." She said and Y/N put the flowers down and held out her arms. Okoye was gentle and wrapped the two silks around her arm and tied them.

She then tied the blue and red together and both men used a hand to grab each arm gently.

"This binding is permanent, this is a symbol of bondage and mating, do you understand?" Okoye said and the men smiled.

"We do." They both said and Okoye looked down at Y/N once more.

"Do you understand?" She asked and Y/N nodded shakily.

"I understand." She said and Okoye nodded and grabbed the silk and with astonishments the blue and red silk began to glow.

Okoye's hand were glowing and in an instant the silk disappeared and she let go and Y/N stood there in shock.

"It is done, I now pronounce you mates." She said and bowed. "You may kiss the bride."

Bucky instantly grabbed Y/N and kissed her and she was shocked. Overwhelmed by the feeling of electric sparks from the kiss, she melted into the kiss. Gripping onto Bucky's arm.

Then Steve turned her around and did the same thing and kissed her as well. Feeling the same thing and touching Steve's face. She pulled away and gasped Steve got on his knees and put his forehead on hers and Bucky came up behind her and breathed down her neck.

"You are now one." Okoye said. "May Mother Nature bless your union."

Okoye bowed to her clan leaders and left the three in the flower patch. She blushed as she felt their touches.

"You're ours now princess." Bucky said and kissed her shoulder.

"We have a place to show you." Steve said and picked her up, she squealed and felt her heart race.

"W-where are we going?" She asked and Bucky tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Somewhere special." He said and the men began to grab a few things as Y/N stayed in Steve's arms, her heart racing and face red. Bucky grabbed one of the torches that lit up their ceremony.

They began to walk across the river and far away from the small place of their union. She watched as the only thing lighting up the forest was Bucky's torch.

She could see the sun had finally set and night time had begun.

The firefly's light would spark every few minutes, she watched as Bucky stopped and Steve covered Y/N's eyes.

"What are you doing?" Y/N huffed and Steve squeezed her leg.

"Little minx, we have a surprise." Steve said. "We understand we've made you give up so much, and that you've lived different from us so this is a gift for you, a wedding present."

Steve released his hand and Y/N was let down and in front of her was a barely built cottage, stones and axes close near a tree. In front of the building cottage many lovely lantern lit, display of flowers, fruits, and a blanket of fur laid down on the ground.

"W-what is this?" She asked surprised, her eyes filling up with tears.

"This is going to be our home." Bucky said. "We ordered it as soon as we got back, we've only laid down foundation and such but this will be our home instead of the tents in the camp."

"R-really? And this?" She asked as placed her knees on the soft fur.

"We understand that your scared of- of bedding, especially two Orcs like us." Steve said and got down on the fur blanket. "We want this to be a good experience for our mate."

"We want to show you we want to be good mates." Bucky said and laid got on his knees and took her small hand into his larger one. "If you let us."

Y/N smiled for the first time in front of the two Orcs and threw her arms around them. They were surprised as she tried to hug them tight.

"I'm so thankful- I've never in my life been gifted something so special and thoughtful." She said and looked at the home. "It's beautiful."

"Lay down, let us make you feel good." Steve said and laid her down on the fur. She let out a shaky breath as the two Orcs looked down at her hungrily.

"I've been waiting for this." Bucky said and leaned down and and began to suck on her neck. She mewled and laughed, feeling aroused and ticklish.

As Bucky kissed her neck, he grabbed her dress and ripped it immediately. She gasped as she was no bare, her nude body dimly lit from the lantern.

Steve and Bucky looked down at her body in awe, looking down to what they believe was heaven.

She tried to use her hands to cover herself up but Steve grabbed her hands and put it above her head.

"Don't hide your body from us." Steve said and put his head on the other side of her neck and nipped. "Body sent from heaven."

"Wonder if she tastes like heaven." Bucky said grinning.

Her breath hitched and before she could protest, Bucky got down to her aching core and with his long and thick tongue, he licked her core.

She jumped at the feeling as his tongue glided through her folds. She moaned as he dragged his slowly and touching her clit every so often.

"How does she taste Buck?" Steve asked as he gripped Y/N's side with his large palm.

"Heaven." Bucky said and wiped his mouth for a second. "Glad no man has ever been in between these legs, this is better than any drink."

Bucky dove back down like a mad men, he licked little kitten licks and used his two fingers to spread her lips open.

She felt the cool air and she gasped, until Steve bent down and kissed her. He growled into the kiss once Y/N began to tug on his hair. Steve pulled away from the kiss and began to suck on her breasts.

His tusks grazing her skin and making her moan.

"Let's stretch her a bit." Bucky said and entered his tongue into her core. His tongue going in and out, Y/N screamed in pleasure from the intrusion.

The stretch burned at first but with Steve kissing and marking all over her body, the pain was unnoticeable.

"You've been hogging her Buck." Steve said and Y/N had an idea and she couldn't believe she was about to offer.

"Steve- I can- I mean can I suck you off then?" She asked and both men looked at her with bewilderment. Steve's only lasted moments until he growled and immediately pulled down his garment and there his cock was there in all its glory.

She was very intimated to say the least, his cock had to be at least 9 maybe 10 inches. It was long and veiny, the tip of it angry and leaking, waiting for it to be touched.

"It's okay, let's take it slow." Steve said and touched her cheek with his palm. "Get her on her stomach."

Bucky flipped her over and began to eat her out again, she moaned out and Steve loved the view that was in front of him.

He watched as his friend began to devour her, and the site of his bride, mouth open and drooling had him ready to burst.

Steve rubbed his cock a few times before letting her grab it. She looked up at him with doe innocent eyes.

"What should I do?" She asked and Steve chuckled, and took her hands and let her hold it firmly.

"You can lick it, suck it, do what you feel is comfortable." He said and she began to lick up and down his cock, making him jolt.

She tried but her small mouth couldn't do it, she decided to lick the tip, and as her spit coated his cock, it was easier for her to move her hand up and down.

"Oh god." Steve shuddered. "So good."

Y/N moaned on his cock as Bucky used his finger and began to pump it in and out as his tongue licked her soaked clit.

"B-Bucky." Y/N moaned and Bucky moved faster and faster and she whined.

"S-Somethings happening." Y/N said and Bucky didn't stop but went faster. "Oh god."

She began to feel an overwhelming feeling in her tummy.

"Your gonna cum." Steve said and looked up and watched as she as mess as Bucky fingered her. "Bucky she's gonna cum."

Y/N arched her back and suddenly she felt the coil snap, the overwhelming feeling washed over her, making her quiver and legs shake.

She felt something pooling at her core and Bucky came up and was coated in juices.

"Steve she squirted all over my face, her juices just kept flowing." Bucky said and as Y/N was gasping for breath she didn't realize that Bucky lost his garments as well.

"I think it's time for her to take us, don't you think?" Steve asked and Bucky nodded.

"You take her first, I'm thicker." Bucky said and Y/N looked down and what he said was true. He was about 8-8.5 but he was thicker than Steve.

Steve came over and shivered as he looked at Y/N in her lust filled state.

"I'm gonna try and be gentle, okay?" Steve said and Y/N nodded. Steve put his hand down and Y/N grabbed it and rested it up against her face and sighed. "Ready?"

She nodded and Steve used his cock to slide across her folds and when he thought he had enough, he began to push in.

She gasped and immediately Bucky laid down beside her and soothed her with words. Tears began to fall from her eyes and tried to be strong.

The burning sensation was more apparent now as Steve stretched.

"Fuck me, this is the tightest cunt I've ever been in." Steve said and tried to hold the urge of fucking her senseless. "Like velvet."

"Your doing so good baby." Bucky said as Y/N began to breathe heavily. "You taking Steve so good."

"C-can I move princess?" Steve asked and Y/N nodded shakily.

Steve began to move his hips and slowly enter her in and out. She gasped as she soon felt pleasure over pain.

"How does it feel?" Bucky asked and Steve began to move his pace a little bit more.

"G-good." She said and Steve smirked at Bucky. "D-do you want me to-"

Bucky cut her off with a kiss and pressed his forehead against hers.

"No, this is all about you, trust me we have many nights for this." He said with a chuckle and sucked on her neck, leaning another big mark. She moaned loudly and it only stroked their ego more.

"Better than any man, you need to be fucked by someone who can pleasure you." Steve grunted. "Say it, say that no man would pleasure you like this."

Y/N had her mouth open but said nothing, Bucky used his finger to get her to look at him.

"He asked you to do something. Do it." Bucky ordered and cause Y/N to grip on Steve's cock tighter.

"N-No man would g-give me p-pleasure l-like this- oh god." Y/N said and began to whimper and feel herself getting close.

"Come with me princess." Steve said and used both fo his arms to hold Y/N up against his chest. Her warm filled cheeks pressed up against his hard chest.

She felt safe and contented and it only added more when Bucky came up from behind and held his palm up against her back.

"I'm coming." Y/N moaned out and lifted her head up and looked at Steve, grabbing his face and leaning it down for her to kiss. Steve growled and began to go fast as he reached his release.

He could feel the liquid spill on his thighs, causing his sex drive to increase.

A string of curses filled the air from Steve as he emptied himself inside of her. She felt his cock twitch in her and Bucky caught her before she fell back on the fur.

He rubbed her stomach as she felt knocked out, Steve chuckled and she could see the sweat off his forehead. His hair sticking to it as if he had run a marathon.

"Don't think we're done yet." Bucky said as Steve slowly pulled out, causing Y/N to wince from the empty feeling. "I still need to feel our gorgeous princess."

Bucky then switched places with Steve and Y/N felt his seed falling out.

Bucky thick cock went up and down her folds, collecting her slick and Steve's cum and making it a lubricant for himself.

"Alright princess, if you need me to stop, tell me." Bucky said and Y/N nodded as Steve massaged her breasts. Every so often pinching her nipple, making her jolt.

Bucky began to enter and this was another wave of pain as Bucky stretched her out more.

"It'll get easier over time, Bucky and I will never be satisfied." Steve said and squeezed her left breast. "We'll be filling you up almost every day and imagine our cottage filled with little ones."

Y/N was too hazed to feel anxiety, as Bucky's cock stretched her.

"Steve you were right, velvet." Bucky said and pulled out slowly, then pulling right back in.

Y/N winced and Steve touched her tummy and felt Bucky's bulge.

"You feel that? You feel Bucky cock so full inside you, it barely fits?" Steve asked and Y/N gripped Bucky's cock from Steve's words.

"You we're made for us." Bucky said as he began to set a pace. "Made to be our mate and mother to our children."

"Yes! Yes!" Y/N chanted and began to feel that same feeling of pleasure.

"Good girl princess." Bucky said and began to go harder and faster.

"Look at you taking a real orc's cock like a good girl." Steve said and kissed her cheek.

"Hell, just like that." Bucky said and began to slam into her causing Y/N to scream and arch her back. Bucky felt the same trickle as he did on his face earlier and saw as she spilled over his thighs.

"Yes princess, yes." Bucky said and just as he did Steve, he released inside of her. Both Steve and Bucky's cum coaxed her walls, claiming her as theirs.

Y/N began to breathe heavily once again and Bucky tried not to fall straight on her. So he gently pulled out and left her empty and yet full at the same time.

"Did I do good?" Y/N asked sleepily as both Orcs laid down beside her. Steve grabbed fresh water from the bucket they had and grabbed the ladle and helped her drink a bit.

"Yes, better than we've ever imagine, mate." Steve said and laid down beside her and placed his arm around her stomach.

"You did so good." Bucky said and put his arm around her chest. "Our princess now."

"But-" Y/N tried to talk but Steve shushed her and nuzzled his face into her neck.

"Sleep now, we have plenty of time for talking." Steve said and squeezed her tight.

Steve and Bucky could hear her soft snores as she fell asleep after taking the two Orcs.

"Our princess." Bucky said and looked down at her claimed core. Shutting his eyes as well and falling to sleep.

"Best treasure." Steve whispered and was the last one to sleep.

The three of them laid on the big fur blanket and the only thing that could be heard were frogs and crickets that made sounds in the night.

The lantern began to dim, leaving them in the dark. The princess slept peacefully and for the first time since she's been with the Orcs felt completely safe.

OMG THIS IS A LONG ONE!!!!! Hope you like it and I might do more on this AU! Like, Reblog, comment if you like this and if you have any requests or ideas let me know!

I do Star Wars, Marvel, Harry Potter, etc.! 💕✨✨

[ventismacchiato]

22 just playing the part — twenty one questions !

scaramouche x g!n reader

“My wrists are still sore from earlier today,” you complain, popping the can of beer open that Scaramouche had offered that was in the cooler of his car.

He’d driven you both to a park to practice lines, sitting in the trunk and using the stars above as your light source. It would be romantic if it wasn’t Scaramouche who did it and if he wasn’t constantly correcting you when you messed up.

Scaramouche doesn’t reply, looking over to your wrist that held a mark remnant from the handcuffs. He reaches over, grabbing ahold of your left wrist and rubbing his thumb against it.

“You should ice it,” he mutters, grabbing an unopened can of beer and pressing it against your wrist, the coldness of the metal soothing your bruise.

“Have you been icing your wrist?”

“Yeah, because I’m not stupid.”

You send him a glare and pull your wrist back, icing it with your own beer instead. His warmth on your hands gave you an odd feeling.

“I think that’s enough for tonight,” you sigh, growing sick of the script that stared back at you from your lap.

“Do you want me to drive you back?”

“Not yet, being outside is nice,” you answer, “Your company is decent.”

“Just admit you enjoy my company.”

“Not a chance.”

It grows silent again, apart from the low vibrations of the car’s engine and the occasional snap of another can being opened. You were afraid of it getting awkward so you let out the first thing that came to mind.

“Wanna play twenty-one questions?”

He lets out a low chuckle, “Are you trying to find out something dirty?”

“No,” you scoff, “It’s not like you have anything juicy anyway, your first kiss was with me.”

“No need to remind me, but fine,” he answers, crushing an empty can and opening another one.

“Okay,” you hum, racking your brain for a question, “Most embarrassing thing you’ve done while drunk?”

“Other than willingly hanging out with you? Letting Childe give me a stick-and-poke tattoo.”

“Of what?”

“That’s two questions, not one,” he grins, “My turn. Most embarrassing thing you’ve done when drunk?”

“I threw up on Aether and Lumine’s father in highschool,” you answer, wincing at the look on Dainsleif’s shocked face that was still ingrained into your mind.

“I probably shouldn’t have given you beer then, no?” he teases.

“I’m good with alcohol now,” you huff, “Sort of.”

He sends you an eye roll, but for once it lacks any malice.

“Are we friends?” you question, looking down into your now empty can of cheap beer, immediately regretting the question. Maybe you weren’t that good with alcohol.

“You tell me.”

“You’re supposed to answer the question,” you point out.

“I don’t think think I’d sit at night playing a dumb game with someone who wasn’t my friend,” Scaramouche shrugs.

“So that’s a yes?” you smile, ignoring how elated that made you feel. Weird.

“It’s my turn to ask,” he counters, “Biggest fear?”

You muse at the thought, “Probably that I’m wasting my time trying to pursue my interest in acting and it won’t go anywhere.”

He lets out a snort, “Really? That’s stupid.”

You’re about to defend yourself but he continues.

“It’s stupid because you’re a good actor,” he says.

“Are you trying to comfort me?” you smile, nudging him on the shoulder.

“Trying? Did I not?”

“You did,” you reassure, holding back a laugh at how distraught he sounded.

“Whatever, you go,” he mumbles, already on his fourth can.

“Toughest pill you had to swallow?” you question, eyeing him as he drains half the can.

“That I’ll never experience a mother’s unconditional love,” he deadpans, throwing the can he was drinking behind him into the backseat.

“Oh,” you let out, not quite expecting that, “I’m sorry to hear that,” you slowly say, not expecting him to be open during the silly game you came up with.

He shrugs.

“Does she not support you?”

“That’s your fourth question,” he says, “And no, she doesn’t.”

“She’ll see what she missed out on when you prove her wrong,” you say, “When you make it big.”

He gives you a fleeting glance, “Are you trying to comfort me?”

“Trying?” you smile, “Did I not?”

“Maybe you did,” he slyly says, averting his eyes from you.

“I guess the world sucks, huh?”

“Yeah,” he agrees, dragging a long sip of what was now lukewarm beer, “But I think I’ll forgive it because at least it has you in it.”

You pause, the can of alcohol hovering in place at his words, “What?”

“Just realized I’m too drunk to drive right now,” Scaramouche mumbles instead of acknowledging your question.

“Should we call an Uber?” you ask, realizing he wasn’t sober enough for making conversation, yet alone finishing the game.

“Soon,” he mumbles, leaning his head against the side of the trunk, letting his eyes fall shut, “I need a minute.”

“Alright,” you comply, feeling your eyelids feel heavy as well, “I’ll wake you up.”

…

Spoiler, you did not wake him up.

just playing the part !

masterlist — prev | next

scaramouche secretly keeps the sticky note for safe keeping

synopsis: you and scaramouche are both drama majors and have been at each other’s throats vying for the same lead roles since high school. but when you’re both cast as each other’s love interest in your second year you’re forced to be civil with your academic rival and see him in a new light. are his feelings for you true or is he just playing the part?

comment or send an ask to be added or removed ⤵️ closing soon

taglist-OPEN: @monochromaticelliot @kaedear @stxrgxzxr @shirmxie @elakari @lacy-lady @linn-a-a @one-offmind @kithewanderingme @quepasoash @leathernourishingshoepolish @mangobee @lxry-chxn @dameofthorns @scarasaver @kythe1a @elysiasbae @hikaru-exe @tokkishouse @raiihoshii @cherrybeomgyu @kunikuzushiit @thenightsflower @lilneps @goodthingimsam @lovelyiez @euhla @beriiov @abvolat @kittycasie @b0bafl0wer @bubblyclouds @atlatcaheart @artssleepy @baelloraa @tartagli-yuh @satowaluverr @hangesextra @scaranaris-lil-niko @caffinatedcoma @wheneverthesunrise @hajimeseyo @itsyourgirlria @hyunrei @redactedhimbo @caliginous-skies @vinskyspuff @miissfortune @criminalinthemaking @scaramouches-girlfriend [1/3]

author’s note: sad that i cudnt give this title to chapter 21 😔 and yes drunk confessions 😍 cliché shit that i will always eat up! anyway sorry for the angst but pain 🥰

[burningvelvet]

random excerpts from lord byron’s diaries that feel like tumblr posts from the 1800s

“My mind is a fragment.”

“I am too lazy to shoot myself.”

“Here I am, alone, instead of dining at Lord H.'s, where I was asked—but not inclined to go any where. Hobhouse says I am growing a ‘loup garou,’ a solitary hobgoblin. True.”

“Sleepy, and must go to bed.”

“Whether ‘Hell will be paved with’ those ‘good intentions,’ I know not.”

“Got up—redde the Morning Post containing [..] a paragraph on me as long as my pedigree, and vituperative, as usual.”

“I wonder what the devil is the matter with me! I can do nothing, and fortunately there is nothing to do.”

“Last night, party at Lansdowne House. Tonight, party at Lady Charlotte Greville's—deplorable waste of time, and something of temper. Nothing imparted—nothing acquired—talking without ideas:—if any thing like thought in my mind, it was not on the subjects on which we were gabbling. Heigho!—and in this way half London pass what is called life. Tomorrow there is Lady Heathcote's—shall I go? yes—to punish myself for not having a pursuit.”

“What a strange thing is the propagation of life! A bubble of Seed which may be spilt in a whore’s lap – or in the orgasm of a voluptuous dream – might (for aught we know) have formed a Caesar or a Buonaparte.”

“Oh that face!—by te, Diva potens Cypri, I would, to be beloved by that woman, build and burn another Troy.”

“I have found increasing upon me (without sufficient cause at times) the depression of Spirits (with few intervals), which I have some reason to believe constitutional or inherited.”

“I shall soon be six-and-twenty (January 22d., 1814). Is there any thing in the future that can possibly console us for not being always twenty-five?”

“Past events have unnerved me; and all I can now do is to make life an amusement, and look on while others play. After all, even the highest game of crowns and sceptres, what is it?”

“Redde a little—wrote notes and letters, and am alone, which Locke says is bad company. ‘Be not solitary, be not idle.’—Um!—the idleness is troublesome; but I can't see so much to regret in the solitude. The more I see of men, the less I like them. If I could but say so of women too, all would be well. Why can't I? I am now six-and-twenty; my passions have had enough to cool them; my affections more than enough to wither them,—and yet—and yet—always yet and but—‘Excellent well, you are a fishmonger—get thee to a nunnery.’—‘They fool me to the top of my bent.’” (Quotations from Hamlet)

“I wish I could settle to reading again,—my life is monotonous, and yet desultory. I take up books, and fling them down again. I began a comedy, and burnt it because the scene ran into reality;—a novel, for the same reason. In rhyme, I can keep more away from facts; but the thought always runs through, through ... yes, yes, through. I have had a letter from Lady Melbourne—the best friend I ever had in my life, and the cleverest of women.”

“As to opinions, I don't think politics worth an opinion.”

“Tells Dallas that my rhymes are very popular in the United States. These are the first tidings that have ever sounded like Fame to my ears—to be redde on the banks of the Ohio!”

“This journal is a relief. When I am tired—as I generally am—out comes this, and down goes every thing. But I can't read it over; and God knows what contradictions it may contain. If I am sincere with myself (but I fear one lies more to one's self than to any one else), every page should confute, refute, and utterly abjure its predecessor.”

“Mr. Murray has offered me one thousand guineas for The Giaour and The Bride of Abydos. I won't—it is too much, though I am strongly tempted, merely for the say of it. No bad price for a fortnight's (a week each) what?—the gods know—it was intended to be called poetry.”

“I will not be the slave of any appetite. If I do err, it shall be my heart, at least, that heralds the way. Oh, my head—how it aches?—the horrors of digestion! I wonder how Buonaparte's dinner agrees with him?”

“If I had to live over again, I do not Know what I would change in my life, unless it were for not to have lived at all. All history and experience, and the rest, teaches us that the good and evil are pretty equally balanced in this existence, and that what is most to be desired is an easy passage out of it. What can it give us but years? and those have little of good but their ending.”

[lixzey]

Letters.

The Tenth Letter.

warnings: mentions of depression

Timothée was about to open the tenth letter, when he heard the sound of pattering on the roof and the sound of thunder roaring in the distance. He chuckled, another rainy day in New York. 

Maybe it was instinct that he wanted to protect this girl—or maybe it was something else. Maybe he was falling? Maybe he was actually falling for this mysterious girl. Timothée sighed, before opening the tenth letter, dated July 31st.

Dear Timothée, 

It's raining.

It's the kind of rain that makes you think of flash floods and Noah's ark. The kind that makes you want to wear your fluffiest sweater and socks and crawl into bed under the sheets where it's warm and safe. It calms me, it makes me feel safe and sound. The way the lighting comes after the booming thunder, little kids would get scared—fearing that they'd get struck by lightning—but for me, it's relaxing. 

What about you? Are you scared of thunder?

Timothée chuckled. What are the odds of reading the letter in the same weather? The probability of it was impossible, but here he was, reading the letter while the rain poured outside. 

The chances of getting struck by lightning are one to a million. That's the sort of thing that you'd hear on the news and you'd thank God that it wasn't you, but at the same time you'd feel bad.

Kind of like depression, really. You'd never expect it to be you. No one does. But the ugly truth is, a lot of people suffer from it and the majority of us are blissfully ignorant about it. When a person says they're depressed, they'd tell that person to suck it up and just move on—that there are people suffering worse than you. Invalidating their feelings, they bottle it up. Until one day, they explode. And at the end, when all is said and done, they're gonna be sorry because they didn't listen. People are treating depression like some sort of joke. Even when there's the Mental Health awareness, people look at depressed people like clowns. 

It's a chain reaction, really. Sharp words like knives cutting a person down, not thinking if that person is hurting, and all ending with a heart full of hatred against the world. And then what? That person feels unworthy—a waste of space, which ends up in doing things one shouldn't. 

“It's not your fault, none of it is.” 

But why does it feel like it is? Like I'm the catalyst for all the bullshit. The weight of it all is crushing me.

I'm haunted by the past, present, and future. I want to tell you, but I'm afraid someone else could read it. If you could just look into my mind, Timothée. 

You would see how the world treated me like shit. You would see every fucking thing that made me like this. 

Every night, I'd write a letter to you. Wondering if you'd ever get any of my letters. If you're listening, if you understand me. You said in an interview, “Love yourself for who you are and whoever you are, I'm gonna love you too. And when you suffer in life, suffer appropriately. And if you feel bad, that's fine! Just don't beat yourself up for feeling bad.” 

Am I delusional for thinking you'll love me? Based on what you said? Who am I kidding? I don't love myself. 

You're not going to love me. 

I've been suffering for too long and I've been feeling bad for half my life—beating myself up for it. 

If by some miracle, the pain goes away…..

Joke's on me. 

It's supposed to be fun, turning twenty one. 

All my love,

Y/N. 

Timothée felt an unsettling pit in his stomach. He prayed that Y/N was okay, and whatever she planned—he wished she didn't do. 

Suddenly, his phone rang. It was the private investigator he hired. Timothée sighed, hoping for good news. “Yes?” 

“I have a lead on the girl you're looking for, Mr. Chalamet. An address.”

The young actor nearly jumped on his bed in excitement. Timothée finally had an address. He could finally look for Y/N. Timothée quickly scrambled around his room, packing clothes and basic necessities—money, cards, and his passport—along with Y/N's letters. 

All eighteen letters. Ten opened, eight still sealed.  

Timothée stared at the photo in his wallet—the beautiful girl who he wanted so much to find. 

“I'm on my way, Y/N. Hold on, I'm coming.” 

@lovemelikecrazyiloveyoucrazy @helens3amstuff @gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl

[kuroosdumbslut]

Hi, how are you ?

Can you plesse wtite fic where snape survive the war(because someone, maybe his fem best friend save him) but he disapear from wizardind world, because he is sick of that and why not… and after many years the see each other? End is up to you. Thank youuu ❤️

//Of course! I'm sorry it's taken me nearly a year to get to this request, life has been throwing me curve balls every few months. I hope you enjoy this!//

When the dust settled after the battle, everything was eerily quiet. You couldn't help but frantically search around, but you noticed one person missing. The one person you were hoping to see almost immediately after everything was said and done. The tight feeling of dread crawled up your throat and with burning, aching feet from the battle, you ran. Ran until you remembered one of the few places Severus had shown you.

You'd known him since you both were in school, and he was someone you considered to be a close friend. The Shrieking Shack, an old, abandoned building in Hogsmeade said to be haunted or cursed, was the only other place you thought to look. Many years ago, just before he disappeared for a few years in his late teens and early twenties, Severus had brought you to the shack as a place to smoke weed a bit. Back then, you both were more rebellious. It was a safer place to be than anywhere in the castle, mainly due to the lack of nosy professors sniffing around for troublemakers.

You knew his trauma with the place as well, and Severus had a horrible habit of frequenting trauma-filled places for him. A quick floo to Hogsmeade and you were running again, searching for the rundown shack. When you finally found him, you were horrified to find him bleeding out on the floor, his neck deeply bitten from what looked like a snake. "Oh my god...Severus...!" You wasted no time in running to him, sliding to the floor immediately and realizing several things. Number one, venom could definitely be present and number two, he lost so much blood. Digging around in your pack, you thanked your lucky stars that you thought to bring a supply of blood replenishing potions and bezoars for the battle. You shoved a bezoar into his mouth, helping him consume it, then began feeding him blood replenishers while you wrapped and applied pressure to staunch the bleeding. Luckily, McGonagall removed the apparition boundaries for the battle and with a firm grip on him, you apparated back to the castle just in time for Madame Pomfrey to hustle him into the critical area for proper treatment.

It took Severus over a week to come out of the coma. You weren't even aware he was in one until Madame Pomfrey said he was awake finally. You were anxious to see him again, but when you got to the infirmary, he was gone. "Poppy? Where's Severus?" Anxiety was clear in your voice, fear beginning to grip you again. Poppy tilted her head, looking concerned. "What do you mean? He said he was off to talk and visit you. Did he not?" You shook your head, looking confused and fearful. What happened to your best friend? Where had he gone? And most importantly...was he still alive?

After 2 years, you feared the worst had happened. He must've ran off to die on his own terms, as he used to promise when he had smoked a bit too much in his youth. It wasn't until the third year of him being missing that you saw him again. You were in your flat, tending to your few plants while you were cooking when a knock sounded from your front door. "Just a moment!" You called out, putting a stasis charm on the food to prevent over cooking or burning. When you opened the door, however, you couldn't stop the tears and anger from bubbling up. There, in all his glory, was Severus Snape. His hair was more greyed, his forehead wrinkles were becoming more prominent, and his neck was severely scarred. "Severus. Tobias. Snape. Where the fuck have you been?!" Severus winced a bit, knowing he probably deserved that one. "I...I had to find healing away from the wizarding world..." Severus whispered. His voice was quieter than you remember...rougher. "And you didn't think to let me know you were alive? For two and a half years? Do you have any idea how depressed I've been, thinking you're dead somewhere and I'd never see you again?" Severus looked down at his shoes and whispered, "I...I'm so sorry, I don't...I don't have a good excuse for you..."

In that moment, though, as angry and frustrated as you were, you still yanked him inside and brought him into a near bone-crushing hug. "Never EVER do that shit again. I thought I had lost my best friend." This was new to Severus. Forgiveness. He was used to being seen as a vile, evil man who said the most heinous shit. Instead, here he was in his longest friend's home being forgiven and held as if he mattered. 'I suppose I am important...to them at least,' Severus thought to himself. He startled when you responded, "You're damn right you're important to me." Ah. He had forgotten he taught you Legilimency. Cheeky thing...using his own tools against him. "Stay for lunch. Please. I think we have much to catch up on, Sev." In that moment, Severus was so glad he gathered his courage to come see you. And he was even more grateful for your forgiveness.

[wandaromanova]

never did.

Pairing: Wednesday Addams x Fem!Reader

Warnings: cussing, that’s about it

A/N: hello! i’m extremely rusty in the angst department, so i’m sorry if this isn’t up to par. hope i did the request justice. not proofread. happy reading <3

anon requested: Wednesday and reader are in a relationship but wednesday keeps not talking to reader and over all just being bad at relationships on multiple occasions, so reader breaks up with her even though it hurts them to do it.

Summary: Did Wednesday Addams ever truly love you?

Word Count: 2.7K words | wednesday masterlist

please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work. reblogs, likes, and comments are always welcome. <3

There are many factors that are essential to the longevity of a relationship. 

Time, effort, communication, attention, affection, patience, care; the list of necessities goes on and on.

Relationships are of the utmost delicacy. The weight of devoting yourself to another is heavy, but that’s where the beauty lies. 

Getting to spend time with your partner, learning them inside and out is a gift. The most tedious of tasks hold the most value when done with the one you love.

Each conversation turns out more enlightening than the last. Each minuscule gesture becomes the arsonist who set your heart ablaze. With each second that passes, your love grows.

However, this was not the case for your relationship with Wednesday Addams.

───────── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────────

You had been dating the raven-haired girl for well over eight months. In the beginning, things were wonderful.

You spent all of your spare time with her and missed your girlfriend the second she was gone. You were attached to your other half and assumed she felt the same way. 

She made you feel special. 

Allowing you in her personal space, revealing little facts about her upbringing, letting you use her sweaters whenever the nights were particularly cold, asking for your opinion on a section of her novel, and occasionally sleeping beside her as the day came to a close. 

You were under the impression that your relationship was sailing steadily, but that all changed.

She had gone cold, essentially shutting you out. Gone was the quality time you spent together, let alone the conversations which clued you in on what made your girlfriend the person she is today. She was distancing herself, leaving you alone and confused.

Of course, you knew dating Wednesday would come with its trials and tribulations. She was twenty-four karat gold in a sea of sterling silver. There was no one like her, one of many reasons why you loved the girl.

The girl had been independent her entire life, insisting on being alone, and would ignite fear in everyone around her.

She made sure to keep people away and hated anyone who so much as breathed in her presence. And yet, you were the exception. 

Well… you used to be.

───────── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────────

Every day after your third period, Wednesday would meet you in the quad. Like clockwork, the second you enter the area, your girlfriend wasted no time in getting to your side. 

She was never one for public displays of affection or affection in general. So, she would simply walk closer to you than she would others, her shoulder lightly bumping against yours as the two of you made your way to your friends. 

But one day, you arrived at the quad, your girlfriend nowhere to be found. Your eyes scanned over the crowded space, hoping to spot the cloud of darkness which stormed her way through your heart, but she was nowhere to be found.

Dejectedly, you made your way to your friends who sat at their normal spot, toward the center of the quad.

A sigh escaped your lips as you dropped your backpack on the ground, practically flinging yourself into the seat beside Enid.

“What’s got you so sour today?” Bianca spoke up as she took notice of your slumped form, one of your hands propping your head up on the table, elbow perched on the table.

“Have any of you guys seen Wednesday?” You asked, indirectly answering the siren’s question.

You tried to not seem upset, speaking normally despite your body language and behavior proving otherwise. Everyone shook their heads, confirming that no one had seen her.

You visibly deflated, and the blonde beside you took notice of this.

“Don’t worry Y/N. I’m sure she just got caught up with something. She’ll be here soon.” Enid, ever the optimistic, said as she sent you a reassuring smile.

All you could do was nod before the attention was diverted from you, everyone returning to their conversations once more. 

Sure, Wednesday could have gotten wrapped up in something she couldn’t get out of, but you knew your girlfriend.

She was extremely prompt, especially when it came to spending time with you. Maybe you were overreacting, but you had a gut feeling that you couldn’t quite shake. 

You sat there for the rest of lunch, not touching the sandwich that Enid had so graciously given you. All you could do was let your eyes wander, hoping that your girlfriend would show.

She never did.

───────── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────────

It was a Saturday, meaning you were free from the confines of teachers and education. 

Normally, you would spend the day with Wednesday, but she had informed you she would be busy with “hummer duties.”

This wasn’t an uncommon occurrence, knowing all too well how seriously Eugene takes the little club.

So, in the absence of your girlfriend, you decided to stay in for the day. You had an ever-growing list of movies you’d planned to watch, and just never had the time to. But before your plan could roll into action, you would need snacks to have a proper movie marathon. 

Begrudgingly, you crawl out of bed and quickly throw some clothes on before making your way to Jericho. Considering the fact that you were a fast walker, it wasn’t too long before you were in the local supermarket, flinging chips and candy into your cart. 

You received some stares but were unfazed. It was well-known that some Jericho residents still have a distaste for outcasts, despite the mayor’s efforts of inclusivity.

You simply ignored the judgmental glances, swiftly paying for your items and walking out with a bag in each hand. 

On your way back to Nevermore, you passed by the Weathervane. However, you stopped in your tracks when you caught sight of your girlfriend.

She was sitting across from Tyler, the normie boy she had mentioned a few times in the past who harbored feelings for her.

Sadness and irritation filled you, the latter winning by a long run. Without thinking twice, you walked into the coffee shop, stopping right in front of their table.

Both parties turned to face you, their conversation coming to a pause. 

“Hi, can I help you?” The curly-haired boy asked in confusion. You didn’t even spare him a glance, eyes trained on Wednesday who stared right back at you. 

“No, you can’t, but she can.” You spoke calmly despite the waves of negative emotion consuming you.

Even though you were standing there, visibly distraught, Wednesday’s expression never faltered.

“What do you want?” There was a bite to the raven-haired girl’s tone as she spoke, and it stung.

She had never talked to you in this way, at least not since the two of you began dating. 

“I didn’t realize normies were welcome to join the Hummers.” You said through gritted teeth, your patience slowly leaving you.

It was incredibly hard to keep your emotions in check, but that was thrown out the window the second your girlfriend responded.

“We’re a comprising club that encourages diversity.” 

“Jesus, Wednesday you have an answer for everything, don’t you? It’s fucking amazing.”

You were fed up, exasperated, and embarrassed by the lack of remorse from Wednesday. You didn’t care about the boy sitting across from her who fiddled with his hands awkwardly. You didn’t care about the sudden attention you gained from the coffee shop’s patrons. 

All you cared about was your girlfriend sitting here, unapologetic in lying to you. 

You shook your head in disbelief before storming out of the shop, the door loudly slamming shut. Your pace quickened when you heard footsteps approaching from behind you.

Before you knew it, a slender hand wrapped around your wrist, forcing you to stop. You turned to face the person, and as expected, it was Wednesday.

“What do you want?” You pettily reiterated the girl’s question back at her, venom laced in your voice. Her dark brown eyes bored into your own.

“I don’t understand why you’re so upset. I was just discussing my Hyde theories with Tyler. It’s not a cause for jealousy and publicly humiliating yourself like a moron.”

Her monotonous tone met your ears and somehow, you were even more pissed than you were before. You didn’t even think that was possible.

“I’m not jealous of your little normie boyfriend. And I don’t give a damn about those other people. I’m furious because my girlfriend straight up lied to me. You lied to me! And you’re acting like you did nothing wrong! That’s why I’m fucking upset, Wednesday.”

You were yelling at the girl at this point, harshly yanking your wrist out of her grip before continuing in the direction you were originally going in.

You were hurt. Wednesday used to go out of her way to spend time with you, but now she was making up excuses to get away. And with each heavy step you took, you hoped your girlfriend would chase after you once more and apologize for what she had done.

She never did.

───────── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────────

The following weeks after that fight with Wednesday, you contemplated the state of your relationship. It was abundantly clear that your girlfriend was no longer content with the bond you had built. And if you were being completely honest, neither were you.

You understood that spending every second with Wednesday was unhealthy and unrealistic, you knew that. But all you wanted was to see the effort she had shown before, the interest in you she had before. And yet, it never came.

Was this worth fighting for? Or had the battle already been lost?

Those questions swarmed your mind, unable to figure out what was the best decision for not only yourself but for Wednesday too. You hated that you were still keeping her feelings in mind after she blatantly disregarded yours. You loved her, after all.

So, you desperately tried to bring back the spark that was once as bright as a flame in the dead of night, but the winds of change were stronger than the dim light could withstand.

───────── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────────

Each night, you would wander into Wednesday and Enid’s dorm. Your girlfriend insisted on this routine, claiming that your presence made her writing easier and that you were the source of her creativity. You were her muse, well at least that’s what she had told you. 

This practice stopped after your argument, but you decided to take a leap of faith and show up tonight. So, here you were, standing outside the door unsure if you should knock or simply barge in unannounced like you usually did. 

You didn’t have to wait too long before the door swung open on its own accord, revealing Enid who was all dressed up. 

“Oh! Hey, Y/N! You haven’t come around in awhile.” The werewolf smiled at you, pulling you into a bone-crushing hug.

“Enid, you’re acting like you don’t see me in class every day.” You laughed, quickly returning the gesture as your arms wrapped around her form.

“I know, but I’m just really glad you’re here. Wednesday has been… moodier than usual. Hopefully, you can fix that. It’s not fun fearing for your life in your own room.”

Enid pulled back, releasing you from her death grip.

“Yeah, hopefully.” You chuckled, awkwardly rubbing the back of your neck. The blonde opened the door wider, allowing you to step inside the all-familiar dorm that had become your second home. 

“Anyways, I’m gonna dip. Yoko wants to watch that new zombie-alien movie. I’m just going for the popcorn. So, have fun!”

Enid said excitedly, mouthing a noiseless ‘good luck’ to you before exiting the room, closing the door shut behind her.

Now, the silence was all that could be heard, and even then it was deafening. If you hadn’t turned around to see Wednesday sitting at her desk, you would’ve thought you were in the room alone.

“What are you doing here?” Wednesday was surprisingly the first one to speak, not even bothering to turn around to face you.

“I wanted to see you. I miss you…” You spoke sadly, looking at the back of your girlfriend’s head before she responded harshly.

“Well, you’ve seen me. Now you can go.”

“I’m sorry… what?”

“It’s my writing hour and I don’t need any distractions.”

You were at a loss for words. You were rendered silent as you processed the shock and hurt. She thought of you as a distraction. You were no longer the flint that sparked her creativity, you were now a hindrance. Wednesday didn’t want you there.

Neither of you moved a muscle, the tension so thick it could be cut with a knife. You didn’t even realize you were crying the teardrops slid down your cheeks. This was the moment you accepted the fate of your relationship, and you hated that it had come to this.

“What did I do, Wednesday? Why am I not good enough for you anymore?”

Your voice was shaking as you spoke, lips quivering as you suppressed your sobs. Your questions had Wednesday turning around, finally taking a look at you. 

“What are you talking about?” The raven-haired girl furrowed her eyebrows, looking at you in curiosity and a bit of confusion.

“You’ve been avoiding me at all costs. You don’t want me around anymore. You used to always be there for me and now you’re nowhere to be found. We rarely talk. N-no matter how hard I try to get you back to me, you refuse and see no p-problem with it.”

You were sobbing at this point, stuttering towards the end of your sentence as the tears fell down harder. At this point, you couldn’t even look at the girl in front of you, your hands becoming very interesting to look at.

“Don’t take it personally. The Hyde situation is important. I need to crack the code on this before the prophecy is fulfilled.” Wednesday said smoothly, expression deadpan as you broke down in front of her.

“Don’t take it personally? Are you kidding me? I get that the investigation is important, but am I not important too?”

You gathered the courage to look back up at the raven-haired girl, tears blurring your vision. And yet, she still looked stunning.

“The investigation takes precedence, Y/N.”

All you could do was stand there crying. It was actually pretty embarrassing. You felt pathetic, crying before a girl who you loved as she was completely unbothered. After a few minutes, you gathered your composure, sniffles filling the silence of the room.

“Well… now you have one less thing to worry about. I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to be your second or third priority. I deserve better than this.”

You were surprised by how strong your words came out as you turned towards the door to leave. It was as if Wednesday hadn’t fully registered what you’d said until she saw you reach for the door.

“Wait.” The Addams said, hastily standing from her chair and rushing toward you. You turned around, hand still on the handle.

And for the first time ever, Wednesday looked afraid.

“Don’t leave me. I promise I’ll do better. I will spend more time with you, we can talk all you want, and I will dial down on the Hyde.”

Wednesday was begging you to stay in her own way, but you weren’t going to give in as much as your heart and soul were screaming at you to do so.

“You shouldn’t have given me reasons to leave in the first place.” 

And with that, you opened the door and left without another word, leaving Wednesday in her dorm all alone.

You were proud of yourself for finally standing your ground, but the heartbreak outweighed it all.

The second you got back to your own room, you collapsed onto your bed, crying your heart out as you mourned your relationship.

Were you nothing but a game to her? Were you just something to keep her busy until something else piqued her interest? Were you just a person to ease the loneliness? Did Wednesday ever truly love you?

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

She never did.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

───────── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────────

[dngrs-untld-hrshps-unnmbrd]

Sweet Little Killer

Ghoulcy | Cooper x Lucy | post S1 | touchstarved | hurt\comfort | angst | sometimes he's an asshole | there was only one bed | overprotective and jealous Ghoul | eventual smut

Those big eyes, Cooper thought, his anger rising. Those big eyes of hers were glistening with tears, and twice as pretty for it. He wondered if she knew the effect she had on men with those soulful eyes of hers. If she did, she was damn well making those tears brim on her dark lashes on purpose, trying to wrap his withered heart around her pretty little finger.

As Ghoul and Lucy journey across the wastes to New Vegas both of them learn a helluva lot more about each other, and circumstances and mutual attraction drive them into each other's arms.

Start with Chapter One

CHAPTER TWO

‘Just how big is a radscorpion?’ Lucy asked Cooper in a quavering voice.

They were marching across the sand, east into the rosy dawn. Dogmeat, full of energy and happy to be on the move, was running laps of them, her ears pricked forward and tongue lolling out. To Lucy’s disgust, Cooper had fed the dog a breakfast of ass jerky.   

‘Oh, all sizes,’ Cooper replied, sweeping the horizon for any sign of movement. He wanted today to pass without any Vault-Tec, Knights, Enclave, or other miscellaneous bastards getting in his way.

‘Will I see one before it sees me?’

‘I guess you’ll find out, sweetheart,’ he replied with a grin.

Lucy scowled at him. ‘You’re not making any of this easier.’

‘Was that my job? Sorry, I must have missed that in my contract when you paid me for my very expensive services.’

Lucy glowered at his broad back and kept walking. Was the man never not sarcastic?

She saw what looked like scuttle marks in the sand, the kind an eight-legged creature might leave. A creature that was as long as her arm.

Lucy swallowed hard. Oh, good golly.

They passed by a ruin that had collapsed sometime in recent months, and debris was scattered on the sand. Lucy lifted up a pipe about three feet long and the thickness of two thumbs. It felt good in her grip. Not too heavy that she couldn’t swing it, but it could do some damage.

The ghoul gazed at the pipe in her hand and then gave her a nod so slight that she almost missed it. Her heart lifted. He approved of something she’d done.  

‘First one’s yours, vaultie.’

Her heart sank.

They didn’t have to walk for long to find the radscorpion that was as long as her arm. In fact, Lucy suspected the ghoul had led them straight to it. 

He turned to her with a grin and folded his arms as the furious invertebrate scuttled toward them. ‘Have at it.’

Lucy licked her lips. ‘Any tips?’

‘Don’t get stung.’

‘Gee, you’re a real help.’

Ghoul stepped back to watch. A radscorpion could only stab with its stinger every few seconds. If the girl was smart, she’d dodge a strike and get in a few hits with the pipe. But he wasn’t convinced she was anything more than a book smart little do-gooder.

The radscorpion struck out three times before Lucy got over her fear enough to remember that she had a weapon. Wincing, she slammed it down onto the critter. It took a nasty hit, but struck out again. Lucy squealed and leapt back. Her surprise turned to determination, and she landed another hit. The radscorpion twitched, and then died.

‘Ha!’ Lucy exclaimed, breathing hard. 

Cooper smiled to himself. There she was, the little killer he’d seen for an instant as she’d ripped off his finger with her teeth. He liked that girl.

 ‘Here.’ He tugged a knife out of the holster on his belt and passed it to her, hilt first.

‘What’s this for?’ she asked, examining the enormous blade. It was the same length as her fingertips to her elbow. 

He dug in his saddle bag and pulled out a cloth, tossing it to her. ‘Get that stinger out of its tail. You can get twenty caps for a radscorpion stinger sac. Sometimes more.’

While he stood over her, Lucy cracked the tail open and cut out the sac and wrapped it in the cloth bag. She’d done this all by herself, and it felt oddly satisfying.  

When she looked up, the ghoul was chewing on some dried meat, and her smile vanished. He nodded at the radscorpion.

‘Don’t forget your breakfast, unless you’d like some ass jerky.’

Her stomach was rumbling. Anything was better than people. ‘Just think of it as cornmeal porridge,’ she muttered to herself as she cracked open a scorpion leg and ate the soft, clammy meat with her fingers. Thankfully it didn’t taste of much.

The day was a series of radscorpion kills. All hers. It seemed to Lucy like they were zigzagging back and forth across the desert, wasting time on these pointless kills. The lead pipe was heavy. The makeshift bag of stinger sacs on her shoulder was even heavier. She was exhausted, her arms were aching, and her vault suit was splattered with venom from strikes that she’d only just escaped. The ghoul hadn’t lifted a finger to help.

Lucy was in a low mood as they approached a settlement. It must be safe enough because the ghoul shouldered his way through groups of people into a marketplace.

He nodded at a stall. ‘Go sell your shit over there.’

The stinger sacs earned Lucy one hundred and eighteen caps. She stared at the quantity in surprise. The ghoul hadn’t been lying to her.

As she carried them back to him, she eyed him warily.  ‘I suppose you’ll want most of these.’

He was leaning against a wall with one foot propped up. Lazily, he drawled, ‘Me, sweetie? Why would I touch your caps?’

She blinked in surprise. ‘Really?’

‘I ain’t your keeper. Go buy what you need to cross the wastes without keeling over. And get rid of that fucking Vault-tec suit.’ 

With a ghost of a smile on his lips, he watched her moving through the tiny marketplace, picking through the clothes and other items. For a moment she disappeared behind a curtain, and when she emerged, his foot nearly slipped off the wall. She looked...better. Much better. 

Lucy was pleased with her finds. A pair of slim fitting pants with pockets down the side. A couple of tank tops and several pairs of underwear that might not be new, but at least they were clean. A backpack, a water canteen, several cans of cram and some of vegetables. Everything was scuffed, worn, or repaired, but it was hers, and she’d bought it herself with caps she’d earned.

The ghoul was taking in her new look with his head on one side. ‘Well, look at you. A proper surface-dweller now.’

There was a rare note of approval in his voice. Lucy felt her face flush and her heart beat a little faster, though she didn’t understand why.

‘C’mon, I’ll buy you a drink.’ He led the way into a saloon bar, and then turned to her and asked, ‘Would you like whiskey, or whiskey? Choices ain’t much around these parts.’

Her attention was snared by the sight of something behind him. A board of wanted posters with sketches of people and amounts for their capture.

‘Wait, is that you?’ Lucy seized his shoulders and turned him so that she could examine the board and his face at the same time.

Cooper felt a strange pressure in his chest as Lucy left her hands right there on his shoulders. His muscles were tingling beneath the weight of her hands. What was this weird sensation? He didn’t like it.

He didn’t move.

‘You’ve got the highest bounty on the board,’ she remarked as she finally stepped back and let go of him.

‘I should hope so,’ he said scornfully, moving toward the bar and ordering two whiskeys. They came in small glasses, and he nudged one toward her with his knuckle.

‘Drink. You’re a real bounty hunter now.’

‘Radscorpions count as bounties? I thought that was scavenging.’

‘Tomorrow we’ll call it scavenging. Today, you’re a bounty hunter.’ He clinked his glass against hers and knocked back his drink.

He hoped that his words would make her smile and he searched her face as he swallowed. It did. There was a glimmer of pleasure on her face as she took a tentative sip of her drink.

His stomach felt warm. It was probably the whiskey.  

‘What exactly are you wanted for?’ she asked.

There was interest in Lucy’s eyes as she gazed up at him. Cooper felt like he was standing in a bar in the beforetimes with an ice-cold martini in his hand and basking in the attention of a pretty woman.

Lucy took another sip of whiskey, and then licked an amber droplet of the alcohol that ran over her finger. The discoloured finger. The one he’d taken such pleasure in making her watch as he’d lovingly cut it from her hand.

Maybe he should feel guilty about that.  

He didn’t.

His little vaultie was starting to toughen up.

A smile slid over Cooper’s lips and he rubbed his jaw. ‘This and that.’

‘Colour me intrigued.’

He gave a modest shrug. ‘You can breathe in the wrong direction and you get on the bad side of the Enclave. They don’t like anyone who ain’t a government sycophant.’

‘But you did more than breathe in the wrong direction,’ she guessed.

No adoring movie fan and no martini ever felt and tasted as good as having Lucy’s undivided attention and interest. Truthfully, he had no idea why his face was up on that board, but it could be for any number of killings.

They were standing close together, both of them leaning on the bar. ‘What will you tell people when it’s your pretty face up on that board?’

‘Me? I’m not a wanted woman.’

She tucked her hair behind her ear, and he watched her do it. Just about every man in the place was watching her do it. Not a wanted woman? 

You sure about that, darlin’?

Cooper tapped the bar for another whiskey, and the bartender refilled his glass.

‘If you say so.’ Cooper knocked back his second drink, and then turned to face the room. Moving his duster aside to expose the gun at his hip, he glared from one staring man to the next until they all took the hint and turned their attention away from his vaultie.

Across the room, two working girls flashed him smiles and waves. Forced smiles. They knew bounty hunters usually had caps to spare and they were desperate enough to try and take them from a ghoul.

Lucy noticed the women paying him attention. ‘If you’re in the mood for some company, I can wait here.’

She really thought he wanted to leave her side for an awkward tumble? ‘No need.’

‘No need? Oh, do you mean you can’t? Sorry, I don’t know much about ghouls.’

Cooper’s head reared up. Outrage expanded in his chest. Lucy assumed that he couldn’t get it up? That as well as losing his life, his home, his daughter, and his looks, he’d lost that as well? ‘Hold up a second, sweetheart. Are you implying that I—’

‘Ghoul!’

Past Lucy’s shoulder a man was striding toward him with a big, stupid grin on his face. A man in his thirties with lanky blond hair and a bandolier of bullets across his chest.

Cooper’s hand clenched in a fist. For fuck’s sake. He stepped around Lucy, keeping her behind him. ‘Kody.’

Kody was another bounty hunter who liked to chew Cooper’s ear off every time they crossed paths.

‘Hey there. Who’s your friend?’ His eyes landed on Lucy. 

Lucy opened her mouth to give Kody her name, but Cooper spoke before she did. ‘She’s nobody. Let’s get a table, I’m tired of being on my feet.’

He felt twin pricks in the side of his neck as Lucy glared at him. He bought what was left of an open bottle of whiskey, about a third of its usual contents, and steered Lucy and Kody over to a quiet corner of the room. Kody wouldn’t leave him the hell alone until they’d had a drink together and he needed to keep an eye on Lucy in case someone tried to grab her.

‘What are you doing out this way?’ Cooper asked when the three of them were settled with Dogmeat under the table.

‘I’m headed over to Hasting’s place. He put word out there’s bounty work.’

‘Is that so.’

‘How about you?’

Cooper stared at the other man in silence, and then nodded at Lucy. ‘Mail order bride. Taking this one to some rich man who owns a ranch.’

Lucy narrowed her eyes at him. Her expression said, I will kill you.

Kody turned to Lucy with what he probably thought was a charming smile. ‘Oh, honey, you don’t need to do that. Ghoul can leave you with me and I’ll take care of you so good.’

Cooper felt the back of his neck bristle. He was pouring another round of whiskey and put the bottle down with a thud that made all their glasses jump. ‘Don’t look at my bounty, Kody.’

‘Ghoul’s sensitive today,’ Kody said to Lucy with a grin.

‘Is that what you call him? Ghoul?’

‘The Ghoul. This man’s infamous around these parts.’

Cooper threw back his whiskey, reached down to his belt and yanked out his knife. Kody’s hand was flat on the table as he continued to talk to Lucy with that stupid smile on his face. Cooper slammed the knife point-down into the table, right through Kody’s hand.

Kody screamed and stared at his bleeding, impaled hand, his fingers flexing. Lucy gasped. The whole bar stared.

Finally, people were looking at something that wasn’t his vaultie.

‘What the hell, man? Have you lost your mind?’ Kody cried.

‘Maybe I have,’ Cooper said through bared teeth, and twisted the knife. Bones cracked in Kody’s hand and he screamed again. Kody wanted to pull his hand away, but that would mean ripping it apart.

Lucy was breathing fast and shallow, her eyes huge. ‘Mr. Ghoul, please don’t—’

‘Why are you lying to me, Kody?’ Cooper asked, not taking his eyes off the other bounty hunter.

‘Shit. Shit. How am I meant to work if you destroy my gun hand? I ain’t lying about anything, Ghoul. I swear.’

‘You’re not going to Hastings’ place, because Hastings ain’t home. He’s a wanted man. Are you fried on chems, or are you just that fucking stupid that you didn’t notice his face on that board behind us?’

Kody glanced behind them at the wanted board, and his anger deflated. The man started to look scared. ‘Ghoul, I didn’t try to take her from you. I wasn’t going to. Just let me go.’

Deadly, cold anger swept through Cooper. ‘Oh, that’s all right then. You can go.’

Kody glanced at the knife sticking through his hand, waiting for Cooper to pull it out.  

Cooper didn’t move. ‘I said, go on.’

‘Don’t make me rip my hand open. Please, man,’ Kody begged.

When Cooper still didn’t answer, Kody started to whimper. ‘I can’t—I didn’t—ah fuck.’ He looked desperately at Lucy, sweat on his brow. ‘I’ll split the caps with you when we reach New Vegas. You don’t need to put up with this asshole.’

Kody was still looking at his vaultie. Someone had put a bounty on her, and it must be a lot of caps if Kody was willing to double-cross him. Dogmeat was out from beneath the table and barking frantically. Cooper viciously twisted the knife again.

Kody screamed, and then drew a gun. Cooper knocked Kody’s arm upwards so the bullet fired through the tin roof and the gun went tumbling from his hand. He was distracted for a moment as Lucy flinched and fell off her chair, giving Kody the chance to punch him in the guts. With the wind knocked out of him, Cooper yanked the knife out of the table and drove it through Kody’s throat.

Kody crumpled to the ground with a gurgle. Cooper braced his hand against the table, wheezing as he dragged air back into his spasming lungs. He stared at the dead man in disgust. Fucking prick, going after Lucy right in front of him.  

Lucy was sprawled on the floor. Cooper bent down to help her to her feet, checking her over for injuries. Blood was trickling from her grazed elbow. His vaultie was tender. That would leave a bruise. With a gentle swipe of his thumb, he wiped away the blood.

‘That must hurt.’

‘I’m okay,’ she said softly. Breathlessly. So close. ‘Thank you. For um, not letting him take me.’

Cooper went still. Lucy was pressed against his chest with her hands on his shoulders. He was holding her. It had been a long time since he’d held a woman. A lifetime. He’d been another man then. If he’d met Lucy before the bombs fell, he would have made it his business to coax a smile to those pretty lips of hers. Just one smile that he could store away in his heart. Too bad everything was different now, and the only reason she was clinging to him was because she was terrified.

‘Are you okay?’ she asked, genuine worry in her eyes.

Cooper frowned at her strange question. ‘Me?’

‘Yeah, he hit you.’ She gently placed her hand over his chest, feeling the ridges of his ribs and stomach muscles. Her fingers stroked him through his clothing, sending shivers through his body. What in the hell was happening to him?

How did he ask her never to stop without sounding like a crazy man?

Cooper forgot how to breathe for a moment, and then started again with a shudder.

Lucy heard it and lifted her eyes to his.

She smelled sweet and was soft in his arms. That curve of her waist that he’d been admiring all day as she’d beaten radscorpions was supple in his gloved hands. What was sweeter than the only woman on earth touching him like he was precious rather than the wreck he really was? The only woman that Ghoul had noticed on earth in two hundred years, anyway.

‘Oh, I’m fine, darlin’,’ he murmured, his gaze traveling along her jaw and down her throat.

Lucy’s eyebrows shot up. ‘You don’t sound sarcastic. Are you sure you’re all right?’

His gaze dropped to the corpse on the floor and reality came flooding back. If bounty hunters were coming after them, there was no place they were safe. Daddy MacLean must have put word out that he wanted his daughter. Every gunslinger around would be trying to take Lucy from him.  

No, he wasn’t fucking all right. Cooper seized both her wrists and gripped them tightly, growling into her pretty face, ‘You listen to me, sweetheart. Don’t think about wandering off for even a second unless you want to be delivered straight to your daddy wrapped in a bow. From now on, you’re going to do everything I say, and I ain’t letting you out of my sight.’

_

Cooper. COOPER. Lucy thinks you can't get it up. What are you gonna do about that??

[bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky]

Empty Stomach | Bucky Barnes x Reader

Hi! This one's for my fellow ED sufferers. I mean, it's for everyone. But like, it's dedicated to those with past or current ED issues. That being said, do not read this if it is going to upset and / or trigger you. I will not be offended. Scroll on by if need be, catch ya next time. No worries, take care of ya mental health. Much love. ✌️💕

WARNINGS: Discussion of past eating disorder (bulimia), vomit, illness

The chill of the tile pushed its way through the fabric of your pajama pants. With your knees pulled into your chest, you sat hunched over on the bathroom floor. Back resting against the wall. Blanket draped over your shoulders. An unopened bottle of Gatorade rested next to you, along with a bottle of water you’d failed to drink.

The time read 3:48am. Three hours of nothing but misery passed surprisingly fast, you thought. It was just after midnight when a strong wave of nausea pummeled into you and forced you from your bed. And since that moment, you found yourself lurching over the toilet every twenty minutes. 

Last night’s lasagna and red wine came up almost violently. And the tiramisu you’d eaten for dessert didn’t taste nearly as good the second time around. Round after round of painful retching disgusted you, made you cringe. Seeing your food make a second appearance only multiplied your already severe nausea. And with the way your night was going, you feared you’d never be able to enjoy Italian again. 

The back of your throat grew scorched with stomach acid. Your nose burned. And the turbulence in your stomach refused to quit. Eventually, your body eliminated your dinner completely. It was gone, flushed away. And you thought you might be done with this whole nightmare. You even ventured back to bed. 

But only minutes after warming the cold sheets with your body heat, you found yourself on the bathroom floor once again. With a vengeance, bile burned its way up your esophagus and forced itself out of your mouth. It seemed to you that this was your punishment for going back to bed. And so, you decided to take up residency in the bathroom for the rest of the night. 

But you needed a blanket- desperately. It just so happened that this misery decided to take place on one of the coldest nights of the year. And if you were to survive till morning, you needed a small piece of comfort. You mustered enough strength to fetch a blanket- Bucky’s favorite blanket- from your bedroom and drag it back to the bathroom. It was sad. Pathetic, even. But holding the soft, woven fabric that smelled like him tight around your shoulders brought a sliver of ease. It wasn’t nearly as good as having Bucky there, but it was better than nothing.

Tik Toks and YouTube videos helped you pass the time between each bout of heaving. You watched every video recommended to you- as long as it didn’t involve food. Just the thought of watching Rhett and Link eat carne asada pizza or Rosanna Pansino make Macha macarons was enough to turn your stomach. Again. 

The throbbing in your head, no doubt a side effect of dehydration, pulled you from the bathroom floor and into the kitchen. You needed water. Electrolytes. And you swore you’d apologize to Bucky for stealing a bottle of his Riptide Rush Gatorade. Not that he’d ever care; he would’ve given you his right arm if you asked for it. 

When you finally settled back onto the bathroom floor with an arm full of drinks, you let yourself feel the sadness that came up with each rush of Vomit. You were too nauseated to drink any of the fluids you sought out. And more than anything, you wished Bucky was with you. Every night that he didn’t spend at your place felt like a night wasted. Without him, your apartment simply wasn’t the same. It wasn’t as comfy or as homey. Didn’t feel as safe. Something was missing. 

Part of you was glad he wasn’t there to see your lasagna resurface, though. It was utterly vile and would surely embarrass you if he were witness. But you missed him all the same. 

Between the violent retching and the bitter cold of late December, every cell in your body trembled. You were weak, cold, miserable. And very, very alone. If Bucky were with you, you knew he’d take care of you. He’d keep you company while your food rebelled against your body. He’d keep you warm. And he’d put a smile on your face, no matter how impossible it seemed.

Ever since you grew close with Bucky, you were there for each other. Took care of each other. It was a given, an unspoken agreement. You wanted to be the other’s support system. The one in their corner. Bucky never felt so safe with anyone, and you returned the sentiment.

He often needed stitches after a mission or talking down after a nightmare, and you were always there. No questions asked. You closed his wounds and held his hand. You pulled him as his body vibrated with panic. Comforting him was a no-brainer. And just as you were there for him, he was there for you. Whether the flu made you cough up a lung or a clumsy step left your ankle twisted, he had your back. He took care of you when you had an allergic reaction to truffle oil and brought you comfort when strep throat stole your voice. 

You treated each other with the utmost care, the deepest affections. You each sat atop the other’s list of priorities, never leaving the number one spot. And by the time you started dating, you could practically read the other’s mind. When he needed you, you were by his side. And when you needed him, he was there. 

But not tonight; tonight, he was at the compound. He’d had a long day of meetings about the Flag Smashers and John Walker that kept him trapped in a conference room for hours. He hoped that with the early start time that morning, he’d be out by dinner. He wanted to return home and snuggle up on the couch with you in his arms. But as 9pm rolled around, his hopes of making it back to you in a timely manner died. 

At 10pm, Rhodey called it. Everyone was tired. Bored. Utterly fried. He dismissed the meeting- with the caveat that they’d reconvene early the next morning. And Bucky wasn’t happy. He dug his phone out of his pocket and gave you a call, voicing his distaste for the seemingly eternal meeting.

“I’m so sorry, doll, it ran long. Really long,” he’d said. “But I’m gonna head your way in a minute, okay? I should be back by…” he looked at his watch and stifled a yawn, “by elevenish.”

“Maybe you should just stay there tonight, Buck. You were up at five this morning- you sound sleepy.”

Bucky shook his head, even though you couldn’t see him. “No, no- I don’t wanna stay here. I wanna come be with you, sweetheart.”

“I’d rather be with you too, but it’s just one night,” you’d told him. “I know you’re exhausted, and I don’t want you driving back if you’re tired. It’s not a good idea. Just sleep there and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Bucky sighed. “I just miss you, that’s all. I didn’t get to talk to you all day and now I can’t see you till tomorrow.” All he ever wanted was to be with you.

 “If it weren’t such a long drive, it would be different, babe. But forty minutes of driving with a fried brain doesn’t sound safe.” You crawled into your empty bed and found yourself rolling onto Bucky’s side. The sheets smelled just like him; if you closed your eyes, you could’ve sworn he was home. “I miss you, too. But I’d rather you rest and come home tomorrow in one piece.”

From Bucky’s end of the line, you heard him step into the elevator and press the button for his old floor. “I know, I know. You’re right,” he conceded. “I really am beat. Something about going over the same details a thousand times took it out of me.” He leaned against the elevator wall and let out another yawn, “I’m gonna go to sleep, and I’ll see you tomorrow. Okay? I love you. So much.”

“Okay, Buck. I love you, baby”.

You hung up the phone, knowing damn well you wouldn’t get much shut eye. Being with Bucky every night always lulled you right to sleep. It was so easy to find peace in his arms that rest never evaded you. But without him, things were different. Your mind wandered. The bed was never as cozy. You stole a book from his bedside table and cracked it open, hoping to tire yourself out. 

After two hours of reading, the nausea hit. Your mouth flooded with saliva and your heart rate jumped. You hadn’t relaxed since.

As you changed position, desperate to find a way to be comfortable on the tile, you wished you lived closer to the compound. If it were a five minute drive from your place, Bucky would've been by your side the second the meeting ended; it was where he belonged. But he couldn't come home- not tonight. And while you were glad he made the safe choice, you wished he was just right down the road.

Bucky spent every night at your place, save for when he was on missions. It was his home, just as much as it was yours. He kept all his clothes there and most of his things. He helped with all the household duties. He even fixed the faulty latches on your windows so that they no longer allowed the cold winter air to seep in. 

But even after all that, he always knocked.

To him, it seemed like the least he could do. It didn’t feel quite right, barging into your apartment as though he owned the place. Sure, he basically lived there. But you didn’t make him help with rent- no matter how many times he offered. You knew he didn’t have much regarding monetary wealth. And his job didn’t exactly pay a salary. So, you never asked for his share of the monthly dues. It didn’t even cross your mind; you were just happy to have him there with you. 

It was kind of you, Bucky had no doubt about that. But it didn’t feel fair. So, he saved the key you gave him and swore to use it for emergencies only. He opted, instead, to knock and wait for an invitation inside. ‘Like a vampire’, you always joked. 

You checked the time once again- 4:01am. This was agony. And in your exhausted state, you found yourself missing Bucky more than usual. With the energy drained from your body, your emotions had room to grow in size. And the feeling that grew the biggest was your longing for him. Here you were, in your most vulnerable state, without the love of your life. He was almost an hour away, incapable of bringing you comfort in your time of need. 

And while spending one night apart wasn’t the end of the world, it surely wasn’t ideal- especially when you felt like death. 

But as you thought about how different things would be with Bucky there, you realized: even if he was home, you wouldn’t have woken him. Sleep often evaded him; and back before he found you, he never got more than an hour of uninterrupted rest at once. But with your help, he was getting better. He was sleeping more and waking up screaming less. Sure, it was a slow process, but there was hope for him. 

And so, waking him for something as innocuous as food poisoning simply wouldn’t be right. If this were an emergency, things would be different. But if he lay sleeping in the next room while you puked up bad lasagna, who were you to wake him?

Knowing that he was home would’ve made your situation a touch more bearable, though. It would’ve been enough to bring you comfort. Even having the option to crawl into bed next to him or feel his hand in yours would ease some of the misery, even if you couldn’t leave the bathroom long enough to do so. 

Miserable, you shot a quick text to Bucky:

Been puking my guts out all night :(

The intention behind the message wasn’t to upset him when he read it the next morning. Or to make him feel bad for not coming home to you. You just wanted to complain, to vent some of your negative feelings. And only for a second. It wasn’t often that you felt sorry for yourself, especially not when you knew how much Bucky suffered. But this was a moment of weakness. And now matter the horrors Bucky went through, he always listened.

Your forehead fell against your knees and your chin rested on your chest. A deep sigh filled your lungs. God, you were tired. Utterly spent. Voiding your body so aggressively drained every ounce of your energy. 

You missed your bed. Missed resting in Bucky’s arms and listening to his heartbeat as you laid on his chest. You needed a respite, a quick break from the misery. With a yawn, you allowed your eyes to flutter shut and your phone to slip from your hands. And for the first time that night, you actually drifted off to sleep.

But a persistent thudding noise pulled you awake half an hour later. It roused you from the rest your body so desperately needed, and just as you wondered what caused it, saliva rushed into your mouth. You ditched your blanket and knelt forward just in time for more acidic bile to push past your lips. It burned inside your nose and made your eyes water, but the sound of your front door opening pulled your focus. 

“Baby?” Bucky shouted from down the hall.

A reply sat on the tip of your tongue- but drowned in another wash of vomit. 

The heaving, retching sounds coming from the bathroom sent a rush of anxiety through Bucky’s system. He fled in your direction and burst through your bathroom door as his heart hammered against his ribs.

“Oh, sweetheart…” he knelt by your side and took in the scene before him as you caught your breath. You, his best girl, getting sick. Very sick. He clocked the blanket on the floor, your dead phone- you must’ve been in here a while. “Hey, what’s going on, doll?” His tone was soft and his words gentle. But the worry in his voice was unmistakable.

It took a few long moments for you to recover. “I got food poisoning from the Italian place on 9th,” you rested once more against the wall. “I ordered take out for dinner and it was clearly a mistake.” Just the thought was enough to make you sick again, but you powered through.

“Oh…” A sigh of relief left Bucky’s chest. “Oh, I thought you were-” he didn’t finish his sentence. But his shoulders relaxed and the tension in his brow dissipated. He wrapped the blanket around you and pulled you gently into his side. 

“What, Buck?”

“Nothing, doll. I’m sorry you’re not feeling well.” He cracked open your Gatorade and offered it to you, “can you drink some of this for me? We need to make sure you stay hydrated.” 

Something lingered under Bucky’s words. And though your mind was a bit foggy from the exhaustion, you put two and two together. “Oh, you thought… you thought I relapsed?” 

Bucky nodded.  

Back when you’d only been dating for about a month, you decided to be honest with Bucky. He was truthful with you about his past and the PTSD that followed; it wasn’t fair of you to keep things from him. And so, you opened up to him about your past issues with food. With your body image. The way you used to force yourself to vomit until there was nothing left. Or until you tasted blood. He knew all about your struggle to recover and the way that, sometimes, those dark thoughts still tempted you to void your system. 

He listened and expressed admiration for your perseverance. He told you he was proud of you. He was so happy that, every day, you chose recovery. He kept an eye on you after you told him, watching for any signs of distress. But you’d done so well. You kept the promise you made to yourself. And just a few weeks ago, when the two-year anniversary of your last forced purge passed, he spent the day showering you in praise and congratulations.

“I know you’ve been doing really well- I didn’t mean to assume anything. But I saw your text-”

You frowned, more worried for him than yourself. "Why were you awake?"

“Couldn't sleep," he said. "And when I tried to call, you didn’t answer.” He felt another surge of anxiety flood his system, “I got nervous. I needed to come check on you.”

Your lack of energy kept you from climbing into his lap or throwing your arms around his neck. Instead, you nuzzled closer to him. Let your head rest on his chest. It was all you could manage. “Buck, you’re so- I didn’t mean to scare you, babe. Probably should’ve given you some context. My bad.”

He shook his head, “no, don’t worry about it, doll. I would’ve come anyway- you’re not feeling well, I couldn’t let you be here all by yourself.” He pulled you a bit closer, “I’m just glad you’re okay. Well, not ‘okay’ cause obviously, you’re sick. But I’m happy you’re not that kind of sick.”

Bucky once again offered you the bottle of Gatorade, which you finally accepted. A few small sips rinsed most of the lingering vomit taste from your mouth. “You weren’t supposed to drive…” you said after a while.

“I know. But you’re sick.” He prompted you to keep drinking. “And if you were, um…” he didn’t like saying the word.

“Relapsing.”

He nodded. “If that was happening, I thought you might need me.” Truth be told, he would’ve done anything for you. Killed for you. Died for you. He’d burn the world and everyone in it- all for you. 

“That’s an understatement,” you gave a weak laugh. Your raw throat throbbed. “But we agreed you wouldn’t drive, Buck. You were supposed to sleep.”

He shrugged, “I couldn’t. Turns out I’ve grown accustomed to sharing a bed with you. Can’t sleep if I don’t have ya with me, sweetheart.”

It was sweet, yes, but struck a nerve. “Wait, so… you don’t sleep on missions?”

He shook his head.

“Buuuuuuck-”

“I know, I know. But I try- I always try. I swear. It just doesn’t work.”

With that, you found yourself lurching forward once again. Your eyes watered and tears ran down your cheeks. A painful force pushed out what little remained in your system. 

“Wow, you have really strong feelings about me not sleeping.”

At his stupid joke, a small laugh rumbled out of your chest- followed by more vomit. Coughs and sputters rattled out of your chest. Saliva dripped from your chin.

And though you knew you weren't done with this bout of retching, you wouldn't let him off the hook. "You need rest, Buck. And if you haven't slept, you shouldn't drive. It's not-" A flood of bile interrupted you.

“Okay, alright. I know. I’m sorry, sweetheart. But we can talk about it later,” he said, easing a hand up and down your spine. “Just let me take care of you for now, okay?”

And he did. No matter how many times your body violently emptied, Bucky had your back. He kept you hydrated, even when you didn’t want to be. And held you close between bouts of heaving. He kept you company. Kept your spirits high, regardless of how awful you felt. And no matter how tired he was, he stayed awake with you. He freed himself from the clutches of exhaustion and kept only you in focus, never allowing sleep to win. He wouldn’t rest- not until you did.

Every few minutes, he checked his watch. Timing the space between each instance of nausea helped him anticipate your movements. Your needs. And just like you said, they attacked every twenty minutes.

“I’m really happy you’re here,” you muttered, your head resting in his lap. Your eyelids fluttered and your words came out soft, breathy. “Even though you weren’t supposed to drive… I’m happy you made it home.”

Bucky ghosted a finger across your cheek, “So am I, doll.” 

Your eyes were fully closed now, and you’d fallen silent. Bucky hoped you’d finally been able to fall asleep. And then, out of nowhere, you spoke, “And you used your key.” Though opening your eyes was too much work, a warm, satisfied smile pulled at your lips. 

Bucky, too, smiled. “I did,” he said. “Had to. Needed to get to you.”

A happy hum left your chest and you nuzzled against Bucky’s thigh. “Thank you… Love you, Barnes.”

“Love you, baby.”

And finally, you were out. Bucky kept his eye on the time. Twenty minutes passed. Then forty. And when an hour went by without you stirring, Bucky sighed with relief. “I’m taking you to bed…” he whispered, though he knew you couldn’t hear him. He snaked his arms around you with the utmost care and lifted you from the cold tile floor. He held you close to his body, almost as though he were shielding you from something. 

“Thank god it’s only food poisoning,” he whispered in the quiet of your apartment. He remembered the pure dread than sunk in his stomach the moment he read your text. Your words painted a vision in his mind, a horrible picture of you forcing nutrients out of your system. He shook his head at the thought. “I was really scared for you tonight.”

He placed you on your side of the bed and wrapped the covers around you, protecting you from the biting winter air. A quick double back to the bathroom allowed Bucky to retrieve your water and Gatorade, and a trip to the kitchen supplied you with extra. Just in case you needed more.

And when everything was set just so, he stripped out of his clothes and finally climbed into bed. “See? Knew I should’ve just come home, doll.” This was all he wanted all day. He got himself settled under the covers and molded his body to yours. He was supposed to be here- right here- next to you. At all times. It was better for you, better for him. 

Peace settled over your bedroom and Bucky felt exhaustion pulling him under- until an alarm sounded in his head. He quickly scrounged around in the dark for his phone and, against his will, removed himself from the bed. He was so close to getting some rest, to spending the night tucked closely next to his best girl- but of course, something had to get in his way.

 He scrolled through his contacts with a sigh and found the name he needed before pressing call. James Rhodes didn’t particularly like Bucky. And definitely wasn’t happy that his least favorite person decided to call in the wee hours of the early morning. But the least Bucky could do was give him a heads up. 

“I’m not coming in tomorrow. My girl’s really sick and I need to be with her.”

Rhodes couldn’t believe Bucky called him so late- or, early- to give him such inconsequential news. “Um, okay. That sucks, I hope she feels better. But people get sick, Barnes. She’ll be okay. I still expect you to attend tomorrow-”

“No, I’m not leaving her here by herself. That’s final.”

Rhodes tried to form a rebuttal, but Bucky ended the call. He even shut off his phone for good measure. 

“Sorry about that, sweetheart…” he whispered, climbing back into bed. “But I’m all yours tomorrow. Well, let’s be honest, I’m all yours for the rest of time. But you know what I mean.”

Once again, he wriggled under the covers and snuggled close to you. You didn’t move when the bed dipped under his weight, nor did you stir when he curled around you. He knew you were so depleted, so spent that you wouldn’t wake until noon- if then. 

“I’m so glad you texted me,” he whispered into the dark. He let a hand trail up and down your arm, pressed a kiss to your shoulder. “And I’m so- I’m so glad you’re alright.” He fidgeted and maneuvered himself, wishing he could scoot closer to you. But every surface of his body was already pressed to yours; he big-spooned you so intensely that not even a millimeter-sized gap remained. Still, he wasn’t close enough. He wasn’t sure he ever would be.

“But even if you weren’t- if you actually had um… if you-” he swallowed hard, “if you relapsed, I’d be here. I always will be- through all of it. No matter what happens. I don’t care how far away I am, I’ll find a way to get to you. I promise.” 

With his promise spoken, a weight lifted from Bucky’s shoulders. He didn’t like thinking about you getting sick again, about your mind sabotaging your body like that. He knew it was possible, though. His own mental health hadn’t always been stellar, and he knew how easy it was to slip into the darkness. But the last time you battled your demons, you were alone. You kept your struggle a secret and didn’t bother resisting the downward spiral.

Bucky hoped that having him would make things easier if you ever did fall down that slippery slope once again. Not that being in a relationship could save your mental health- he knew well enough that that wasn’t possible.

He just thought that having someone by your side- someone who loved and supported you without judgement- would give you the strength you needed if the monsters ever came calling again. It certainly worked for him. Allowing you into his life kept him from the precipice on more than one occasion; he just hoped to do the same for you, if need be.

He knew you trusted him exactly the way he trusted you, and it granted him solace. He knew that if, heaven forbid, things ever got bad for you again, you’d let him help you. You’d be truthful with him about your struggles. You'd lean on him, go to him for support. Knowing that you had a safety net allowed him to breathe easier. And finally, after over twenty-four hours spent awake, Bucky fell into a deep sleep.

—————————————

Taglist: @beefybuckrrito @shadytalementality  @everything-burns-down @rainbow-unicorn-pony  @mandersshow @breakablebarnes @psychoticmason @glxwingrxse @lonewolf471 @dreamerglassesgirl  @the-gods-gloted-but-they-burned @purpleshallot  @seitmai @itvy5601 @dailyreverie  @navs-bhat @eviesaurusrex @themorningsunshine  @evangeliamerryll @buckys-metal-arm @broadwaybabe18 @the-kestrels-feather  @avocadotoastwithegg @goldylions @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @vrittivsanghavi @idkitsem @avengetheunnatural @rassvetsky @hereforbuckyandsteve @barnesselo