#i have this huge fucking collection of shakespeare because it was the only book i could find i was allowed to take into my eng lit exam and

[electraheart2012]

im so tired and in such a bad mood and for what.

[heauxzenji]

hellooo can i request a nsfw akaashi alphabet A-Z? thankuuu bubz

Oh anon. Sweet anon. Let’s... get into it because the amount of brainrot I have suffered at the hands of this req is... phew.

Ty @super-noya for dealing with my shit skdjfhdjjffb

Keiji Akaashi- NSFW Alphabet

𝔄 = 𝔄𝔣𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔠𝔞𝔯𝔢

I personally think that he’s *chefs kiss* here. Like, he enjoys sitting with you in the stillness after you’re done. He likes to hold you close, so close that he can hear you breathe and hear it intertwined with your heartbeats. He may absentmindedly play with your hair or fingers, but mostly he just enjoys being close to you afterward, and wants to lay in bed with you forever.

𝔅- 𝔅𝔬𝔡𝔶 𝔓𝔞𝔯𝔱

His Nipples. Let’s just… take a moment. They’re very sensitive, and he will LOSE it at any point that you touch or play with them during. Literally nip at them and watch him struggle trying to swallow his sweet little moans. He’s not very vocal in bed but this is the best way to coax something out of him.

ℭ - ℭ𝔲𝔪

Since he’s so controlled and analytical, I feel like he’s a master of timing, and likes to finish WITH you. He likes to have you on top, but pulling you as close to him as possible while you’re there. As soon as he feels you getting close he’ll hug you and start counting down from ten in your ear, both of you hitting your highs as soon as he gets to one.

𝔇 = 𝔇𝔦𝔯𝔱𝔶 𝔖𝔢𝔠𝔯𝔢𝔱

He has a secret folder in his phone full of horny poetry about you. When he can’t get to you, he opts to write about what he fantasizes about doing to you in the moment. He would never read them to you, but instead he has had them published in a book under a pseudonym. It’s a bestseller.

𝕰 - 𝕰𝖝𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖊

He doesn’t have a lot- but that doesn’t mean he's bad in bed, by ANY means. He’s just naturally talented. He’s so in tune with your body that he knows exactly what spots to hit almost instinctively.

𝕱 - 𝕱𝖆𝖛𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖊 𝕻𝖔𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

Ok- yes he likes regular missionary but hear me out, he doesn’t make it boring! He’s just very much a romantic, so he wants to see your face, kiss you, look you in the eyes, all that fairytale shit. But again- it’s not boring. Likes to look down at you and will 999% spit in your mouth or make you suck his fingers.

𝕲 - 𝕲𝖎𝖌𝖌𝖑𝖊

Not a lot of laughter or anything. Sometimes he will look down at you and smile, admiring how you look underneath him.

𝕳 - 𝕳𝖆𝖎𝖗

Oh very well groomed. Keeps it very neat. He’s not completely hairless because he finds that weird, but he does keep his hair pretty short. Also has the cutest happy trail and goes absolutely insane if you kiss down it before you go down on him

ℑ - ℑ𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔞𝔠𝔶

He’s… a poetic fuck lol. Not like, quoting Shakespeare or anything like that, but in every sense of the word, something about being with him is soft and romantic. From the way he holds you, to the way that he stares at you so intensely in those moments. Basically everything that people write about, he kind of is if that makes sense.He also loves the closeness of having you cockwarm him after you’re done. He finds it comforting and enjoys your warmth.

𝕵 - 𝕵𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝕺𝖋𝖋

Doesn’t do so too often, but when he does- he’s REALLY loud about it. Sounds! So! Pretty! He strains a lot to try and be quiet but he can't help imagining your lips around him instead of his fist- so he partially just moans out of frustration.

𝕶 - 𝕶𝖎𝖓𝖐

MARKING. Let him bruise you up a little. He has a habit of burying his face in your chest and suckling on the exposed skin there, usually leaving little strawberry colored hickies on you. He likes for you to leave hickies on him too- preferably on his collarbones.

𝕷 - 𝕷𝖔𝖈𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

Anywhere indoors/away from prying eyes. He likes to have you all to himself. BUT, he will sneak away with you if you can’t wait- and has definitely seen the inside of many restaurant bathrooms… maybe a few amusement parks too.

𝔐 = 𝔐𝔬𝔱𝔦𝔳𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫

I feel like Akaashi is motivated by the sounds you make. Simply knowing that you make such pretty cries for him and him only, makes him crave nothing more but to hear you make them again and again. It’s like music to his ears.

𝕹 - 𝕹𝖔!

He’s not into latex/leather. He doesn’t like the feeling of it on his skin. Thinks Lace is god-tier tho.

𝕺 - 𝕺𝖗𝖆𝖑

Actually enjoys both giving and receiving pretty equally. But will also be the kind of guy to randomly go down on you to make you feel better if you tell him you’ve had a bad day. It always makes you feel better.

𝔓- 𝔓𝔞𝔠𝔢

Definition of a slow burn tbh. He will take his time to make sure that every part of your body is addressed, even if you’re just begging him to rail you. I feel like he’s huge on body worship, and you being his no. 1 inspiration, he wants to make sure that you know that, so he takes his time. But once he knows that you’re close- he’s going to speed it up so that you can both finish together.

𝕼 - 𝕼𝖚𝖎𝖈𝖐𝖎𝖊

He isn’t really a fan of them. He prefers to take his time with you. For him it’s just not enough and he couldn’t make it quick if he tried. The only exception though, is when he’s anxious. He will pull you away from the crowds so quickly for a stress relief blowjob.

ℜ - ℜ𝔦𝔰𝔨

As far as trying new things, he’s open to anything you want to try. He likes experimenting with rigging and impact play, and always has something different to tie your arms with, liking the different textures against your skin. Will 100% let you peg him- but only on special occasions, like your birthday or anniversary.

𝕾 - 𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖆

He can go forever if you let him. He has amazing control. He will want you to have cum at least 3 times before he even thinks about cumming himself. He’s very generous and will meld himself to fit what you need.

𝕿 - 𝕿𝖔𝖞

Again, will 100% let you peg him. But also is not opposed to things like vibrators or cock rings. He’s literally down to try anything at least once- he’s so versatile.

𝖀 - 𝖀𝖓𝖋𝖆𝖎𝖗

He is just a little needy, so he doesn’t like being teased. But he instead LOVES to tease you. He does like to see you squirm as he whispers absolute filth into your ears while you’re out with your friends. He’s really good at knowing what makes you tick, doing that specific thing, and then playing it cool so no one notices.

𝖁 - 𝖁𝖔𝖑𝖚𝖒𝖊

Oh god. Oh god he sounds so pretty. He’s not loud at all- tries so hard to hold it back. But when he actually lets go? It’s like music to your ears- it’s literally the most beautiful mixture of deep, breathy moans and also strangled calls of your name through gritted teeth. I could go on forever about this I need water I can’t breathe

𝖂 - 𝖂𝖎𝖑𝖉 𝕮𝖆𝖗𝖉

Akaashi IS the wildcard. He is literally down for anything- and you would never know because he looks so unassuming. Always the quiet ones I guess…

𝖃 - 𝖃-𝕽𝖆𝖞

This hurt me the most. FUCKING PRETTY DICK AKAASHI IS VERY REAL AND VERY MUCH WHAT KEEPS ME UP AT NIGHT. It’s pretty and also cute, like how? Not really thick but it is long (6/6.5)also it??? BLUSHES??? Literally turns the prettiest pink at the head I’m crying it’s perfect it’s just perfect and I will not stop screaming about it.

𝔜- 𝔜𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤

He likes to play it cool and collected but he literally secretly writes h*rny poetry about you all the time so he wants it bad, he’s just never going to say HOW bad. But the moment you tell him “come here” and wiggle your finger at him? He’s done for. That’s what really sets him off.

𝖅 - 𝖅𝖟𝖟

He doesn’t sleep right after. He will eventually, but he actually gets a second wind for a bit and will ramble on for hours until you fall asleep. He won’t notice you’re sleeping, but will go on and on about his innermost thoughts until he burns out, then he falls asleep holding you.

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Where they take you on vacation - 7 Brothers + Diavolo

Found out the edits are made by @devilgram​ who has such a beautiful blog and posts so many Obey Me! things that are so cool! You did a great job with all the edits! <3

LUCIFER

Lucifer would like to take you to Romania, mostly because of all the stories of the great Wallachian ruler Vlad Tepes/The Impaler and wants to find out more about his ruthless yet effective methods of insuring no crime happens in his country ( and hopes they will work on his brothers too ).

Apart from the gorgeous landscapes from the mountainside, the possibility to go to the seaside, or see the different types of regional architecture ( like the unique Black Church ) from different cities, he’d also like to get a full experience of the language, the music, the traditions ( customs, clothes, foo ) and feel for a day like a native from the old ages. 

Even more, he’d find it very nice if you were to try out one of the traditional outfits, and would take a picture of you at the mountains, on a nice field, and put the developed picture in his coat, looking at it whenever he is working and misses you.

He can get pretty salty about the fact that there are still people who believe the Bran castle is Dracula’s true castle, instead of the Poienari fortress and wouldn’t hesitate to express his displeasure, but would appreciate the castle and everything displayed there nonetheless.

Also, would be the first to go to the Horror house, holding your hand if you get scared, and would feel incredibly proud that you trust him and feel safe around him, but would get such a kick out of using his demon form while at it, to scare the actors there.

His whole aesthetic draws people near as if they would actually approach a vampire royalty, which allows him to puff his chest out in pride, so hey, you’re dating a vampire now!

Would take you out at the fanciest restaurant, just to feel how the life at this place is.

Would love to take long walks on the beach at the sea, your feet in the water, holding hands, and just admiring the moon and stars while waves are your music.

You’d mostly stay silent and enjoy the atmosphere, but sometimes you talk a few words, and that’s when Lucifer is the most relaxed, calm and tender.

He would saying that he loves you with such ease for the first time in so long, and the kiss on your forehead would be so soft that it brings you more butterflies than any kiss ever could.

Lucifer looks so ethereal in the light of the moon, it’s almost like he’s glowing, and when you tell him, he’d actually blush softly, before chuckling and stroking your hair, not denying, nor agreeing with your statement.

---

Mammon

Mammon loves to spend money and grab it, so what better place than Las Vegas?

He’d love for the two of you to dress super fancy and flashy, in matching colours if possible, go gambling, scam people and experience the luxury night lifestyle, go to clubs, loud music and expensive alcohol and all that.

But Mammon isn’t all about the flashy and exciting night time, instead, he would mostly love to just see the world with you by his side, and his goals is to make you happy, to he does everything he can to go sightseeing with you and reads in advance about whatever places you could visit and tells you some fun trivia about the place, he’s treating you to the fanciest food and drink places, and would spoil you rotten when going shopping, loving to see you do a little catwalk for him every time you get out of the changing booth.

He’d definitely insist on buying super cute animal Pyjamas.

He’s a huuuuuge fan of the “His Queen/Her King” trope and loves showing you off as much as possible, so get matching Tshirts or jackets and he would be SOOO proud and would laugh confidently and proud all the time, his arm around you, saying how cool you two are together and all that.

He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he honestly doesn’t believe he’s good enough for you, but when he sees how your dazzling smile is always directed to him and you cling on his arm whenever you watch the Lights Show on the big buildings, see the beautiful fireworks or watch the impressive singing fountain...Well, he can’t help but blush and kiss your forehead, feeling butterflies in his stomach.

He’s the kind of guy who would spam his DevilGram with either couple pictures in different places you visit, or just cute pics of you or you two messing around, and his account is actually very popular for the #CoupleGoalz trend.

At night, he would like to either cuddle with you and watch a movie, or go drive through the city at night, watch the night lights, and go on a cliff, stargazing and chatting openly about everything, because honestly, this guy is always dismissed and insulted by his brothers, it’s always a relief and a fresh air when he can be himself and just...Talk with someone. 

---

Leviathan

Levi is the biggest weeb in the world, so the first place you’d visit together is Japan.

Anime conventions, wearing cute kimonos while going to festivals or roaming the streets of Kyoto or Akihabara, couple cosplay (Henry and the Lord of Shadows), buying merch of your favourite anime/manga/game, going to Vocaloid concerts, buying the newest Ruri-chan figurines, trying out new video games that just came out and so on.

Actually wants to go to a Pokemon cafe and fangirls SO much about all the cute pokemon themes there.

He would get you all the cutest Pokemon plushies, especially if you’re not all that into Pokemon but want to share that interest with him, so expect a Skitty, Vulpix, Shaymin, Eevee and all its Eeveelutions, Milotic plushie, while he would already be collecting plushies for the rarest Pokemons, but he’s incredibly happy that you want to do this with him.

He also gets an Ekans just for the Lolz and let’s out his tail, mostly for troll purposes, but it makes you laugh and he could swear his heart stopped beating and his cheeks were redder than ever.

He secretly got you a maid outfit and would love to see you wearing it, but he’s too embarrassed to actually say.

He would blush SO much seeing you in a kimono with a nice hair pin and a fan, while going to see the Sakura trees blossoming and you look like the Sengoku type of heroines from the dating sims he plays so much (to get experience and not fuck up with you), but somehow, you’re so much beautiful than any CG he’s every seen, no matter how gorgeous the art is.

He would get lots of packs of Pocky and despite not saying it out loud, would put a pocky in his mouth and you’d get the hint and munch on the other end of the pocky, in the end kissing him softly.

Levi.exe stopped working.

He would love taking pics of you alone, because you’re so beautiful, and would edit them to look as ethereal as possible, if you want, to even have fantastic backgrounds, and would take pride in how popular your DevilGram/InstaGram is.

He also changed his Lockscreen to have you with your hand in a half-heart gesture, while yours has him with the other half, so whenever he looks at the clock, or sees a new notif, he sees you smiling, with a cute kitten filter.

His Wallpaper is the two of you kissing, edited with a few hearts, sparkles and a little “I love you” written in cursive in a corner (you edited the pic and suggested you both use it, but he denied, so you changed it yourself for him too, while he was busy gaming, and he liked it so much that he couldn’t change it back to Ruri-chan.)

---

Satan

Satan would choose England first for so many reasons!

He’s such a perfect gentleman and seeing everyone so polite and chivalrous there makes his heart bloom and would up his gentleman shills even more, wanting to impress you and make your heart skip with everything he does.

Loves to take you to different castles, see in real life everything he read in books and saw in movies or TV series, and he’s so mesmerised by the beauty of everything that he forgets he promised to be your guide, but his bright smile and the way his eyes sparkle in curiosity and glee make up for everything.

Besides, he’d definitely go back to you and explain in very precise detail the reason for his fangirling.

He’s a little nerd so bookstore dates are a huge YES, and more - CAT CAFES where you can read at your heart’s content. HUGE YES.

You’d both get our of there with tons of books that you will read together, cuddled up under the blankets while enjoying an aromatic tea that Satan prepared for you, together with some nice scones.

He’d want to go with you to Shakespeare’s grave, Dicken’s house, would like to see anything involving the Romantics and so on, since he’s in love with British literature.

Satan wants to go see the Harry Potter theme park so much, and would buy tons of merch for the two of you, and wants to go in full Hogwarts robes and wand with you.

Would take a gazillion pics of you together, that only you can see since it may ruin his reputation with his brothers for geeking out, but he’d love it if the universe was actually real.

He’d also take you to King’s Cross to take pic near the wall where you get to the 9 3/4 Platform.

And no trip to England could exist without a visit to Sherlock’s house, pretending to be detectives, and at Madam Tussaud’s Wax Museum to admire all the figures and potentially take troll pics with them.

---

Asmodeus

Asmo wastes no time in taking you to Paris, of course!

And the first thing you do is have a coffee at the restaurant located on top of the Eiffel Tower.

He would, throughout all the trip, take tons of selfies EVERYWHERE, and aeshtetic pics of either you alone, him alone, or together.

He’s a Devilgram and Devilr celebrity, after all!

Loves going to all the little cafes and drink a hot beverage with you while looking and judging all the passer-bys, how they would never compare to how beautiful and fashionable you two are.

He takes you to the Versailles Palace while wearing the most glamorous outfits, and despite all the pics taken, he will tell you stories of when he visited the place long ago, and more, will tell you of the paintings displayed, since he’s rather knowledgeable.

Asmodeus will take you everywhere, but first, the Lafayette Galleries, all while streaming every second there, to shop everyone how amazing the place is.

Would pics the both of you sooo many pretty brand clothes, new skin care routine and make up products, that you almost wonder where he has all the money from, especially to pay someone to carry them back to your place.

Would take you to a lingerie shop where he’d make you try on all the cutest outfits and would buy them all, especially because he thinks they will make you more confident and wants to make sure you never thing bad of yourself, because if you’re dating him, then you’re obviously the most beautiful being he’s ever seen, inside and out. (he doesn’t count here, of course)

His wallpaper is a selfie of you two smiling and making a peace sign, from the top of the Eiffel Tower, seeing all Paris in the background, at evening, with the beautiful sky and the night lights all over.

Would take you on a cruise on Seine, serenading and drinking a glass of bubbly champagne, admiring all the buildings and the happy people sitting on the banks of the River, enjoying the scenery.

And of course, there’s no perfect trip to the City of  Love without some very tender and sensual love-making, with so many compliments, praises, soft touches and gentle kisses from Asmodeus, followed by a relaxing bath with milk, honey and rose petals, scented candles, bubbles and ambiental music, and of course, a lot of cuddling all night long.

---

Beelzebub

Beelzebub would want to go to Italy, since it’s the country with the best human food, and what better place to eat it them its home country?

Would actually love to go sightseeing with you and seeing all the pretty stuff there is.

He appreciates the architecture, statues and paintings of every historical place, loves to find out more about the country’s history and traditions and would like to take scenic pictures of all the places you visit...

And make a couple album where he puts pics with either you alone or together.

It’s his most treasured possession and nobody except Belphie knows about it, and while he is happy that his brother is happy, he would say it’s so cheesy.

Would have fun when doing the classic “Pushing the Pisa Tower” picture, would like to sing when you go on a Gondola ride in Venice, and pretend to be a gladiator at the Colosseum, while you’re his Caesar.

If you get him a necklace or a keychain, he’d never take it off and has it as his lucky charm, kissing it whenever he misses you or wants the day to go good.

After he understands how the food is made, he’d want to make it himself, so you cooking together would be so cute and fun, and the way you see the love and tenderness in his eyes as he looks at you laughing, while your face is covered in flour...

He’s such a precious and soft baby, and he loves you so much.

Also, he’d love to carry you around just for fun and because he loves holding you close to him, so either bridal style on on his shoulder, you say it, and he’s gonna do it.

Will also like to take lots of short videos with you two, just fooling around, giggling, laughing, making jokes, kissing, pretending to be kittens, having flour fights and all that, since they’re beautiful memories and whenever he’s sad, he watches them and he forgets the reason he was sad in the first place.

---

Belphegor

Belphegor would take you to New Zealand, because he saw how beautiful and green the landscape were, thanks to the Lord of the Rings movies, so he wanted to see what would be like stargazing on such a flowery field, or sleeping in a Hobbit hole.

He’s pretty sleepy all the time, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t take you to see the big cities as well, eat out, shop for souvenirs and so on, but his heart is taken by the simplicity and peace the countryside and forests hold.

Belphie would actually like to have his head on your lap as you stay at the bottom of a tree and read, much like Froddo Baggings would, waiting for Gandalf.

It’s a guilty pleasure of his, but he wants to see ‘Gandalf’s’ fireworks, and when a festival like that happens, he’d hold your hand tight, having a soft smile on his face and a tender look in his eyes.

Despite not saying it very often, he will confess his love for you.

It’s barely above a whispers, but it’s genuine.

It’s simple, small, but meaningful and beautiful nonetheless.

As you stargaze on the field, he’d tell you the names of all stars and constellations that you can see, and would tell you some trivia he knows about them.

Would take a few pics here and there, but his favourite one is one where you two are on the ground outside, both your heads on his favourite pillow, while looking at each other, both of you having such genuine and pure love in your expressions.

If he ever wakes up earlier than you, and likes to troll a bit, he’d get his tail out and tickle your noes, smirking at how cute your half-asleep reactions were, but would play innocent when you ask about it, only kissing your nose to make you forget and reassure you that it was only a dream (it wasn’t).

---

Diavolo

Diavolo is so easily excitable, despite his age and title for the next Devil Lord, but honestly, he wants to take you to Iceland to see the Northern Lights that you spoke so fondly about.

There are so many pretty things to see in the Devildom alright, but none of them quite as fascinating to him as how the sky lights up with so many different and beautiful shades of green, blue and pink, it’s almost unreal!

Who would have thought that the Human world could hold such natural wonders?

He could have sword you were a witch or something, and just wanted to impress him with your magic, as if charming him wasn’t enough, but this beauty makes him behave even more like a child, leaving him speechless and breathless.

Diavolo would kiss and hug you, spinning your around so many times, if you allow him, you forgot to count, which is his way of thanking you for showing him this place and he’s honestly just so happy that he can share this precious moment together with you.

You tell him some old stories about how they say the ancestors’ souls watch over everyone from up there, and that even the animals who died have their souls there, living in peace and quiet.

Despite knowing it’s obviously not true, the tales humans come up with are so creative and make so much sense to their beliefs, he’s genuinely fascinated by all these old stories and would like for you to tell him more.

Iceland’s landscapes are also to be taken into account, and Diavolo will take thousands of pics of you literally everywhere, just because you’re so cute and he’s so damn happy and wants many memories together.

Would like for you to take a selfie with his phone, while at the Northern Lights, and would make Lucifer frame it so he can have it on his desk whenever he’s working, and whenever he gets bored, tired, or just misses you, he’d gaze fondly at the picture and would occasionally kiss it.

[schleierkauz]

Q&A Highlights

Ok so bad news first: My questions were ignored. Cornelia did not clarify any of our death-related theories. Maybe next time.

There was A Lot of other stuff, though so... Enjoy!

- The stream starts with everyone wishing us a happy women’s day! Usually women in Erfurt (where the bookstore people are) get flowers but not today because... you know. Cornelia says America is starting to go back to normal, meanwhile Germany... :| Anyway. Don’t look over here.

- Cornelia says she probably won’t get the vaccine anytime soon because she’s just chilling on her farm anyway and people who have to be out in public/are vulnerable should get it first

- Question: When will Cornelia visit Germany again? In response to this, she gives us some exclusive news, not official yet, heard it here first: She’s gonna move to Italy! Apparently she bought an olive farm there which is cheaper, better for the environment (her current farm will be sold to some people who want to turn it into an organic farm) and obviously closer to Germany so she’ll be here more often. :)

- The 4th Reckless book will be released in English at some point this autumn

- There’s no definite release date for TCoR because she’s busy with Dragonrider but she hopes she’ll have finished writing it by the end of this year

- If she’s still alive after all that to work on Reckless 5, it’ll be the last book of the series... probably. She’s also working on a bunch of smaller projects with her artists in residence

- Question: What are Cornelia’s favorite stories by Jane Austen, the Brontë sister and Shakespeare? She’s not a huge fan of Austen or Brontë because she finds all those repressed emotions too exhausting to read about. With Shakespeare on the other hand she struggles to name a favorite because there’s so much greatness to choose from (she does name MacBeth and Romeo and Juliet though)

- The Black Prince’s legacy in the Reckless timeline may play a role in the next Reckless book or it might evolve into a whole other story. Either way, she’s thinking about it  👀

- Someone asks about Reckless characters and Cornelia says that Kami’en and the Dark Fairy felt very familiar to her from the start in that she always knew who they were as people. She’s not sure why that is. She thinks the Dark Fairy represents many aspects of womanhood, like the ancient forgotten Goddess. Same with Fox, who embodies different sides of that.

- If Cornelia had to date a man from the Mirrorworld, Kami’en would interest her

- Rainer Strecker randomly joins the chat to say hi and everyone is delighted

- Cornelia’s favorite book series is still Lord of the Rings

- Question: Why has the Black Prince never found his true love? Cornelia says she’s not sure that’s true - maybe he did found true love at some point and then lost it again? ‘...and they lived happily ever after’ isn’t a guaranteed outcome after all. Since he’s such a passionate man, she’s pretty sure he’s had at least one big lovestory at this point. She hasn’t asked him about that yet but hopes she’ll find out when she continues writing his story.

- Jumping off that question, Cornelia says she respects her characters’ privacy and lets them keep their secrets until the time comes to ask about them, just as she would with real people.

- Someone asks if Cornelia has ever written herself into a story and she says a part of her is in all her characters. Except the villains because she hates them. She feels closest to Fox because she also always wished she could shapeshift

- The bookstore lady jumps in and asks about Meggie, is she similar to how Cornelia was as a child? Cornelia says yes, especially because she also had a very close relationship with her father and they would bond over books. However, she always envisioned Meggie with dark hair and as a different kind of girl than she was. (Ok sidenote from me on that, I wonder what she means by ‘dark hair’? Because Meggie is explicitly blond, so like... dark blond? Or did we just unlock brunette Meggie in 2021? Cornelia-)

- Continuing the conversation, Cornelia says she doesn’t consider herself the creator of any of the characters in her stories, she feels like she met them and wrote about him but she would never say something like ‘I invented Dustfinger’ because that’s absurd. How would that even work. That’s disrespectful. No.

- Some characters pretty much demand to be written about and are very impatient (like Jacob), others are more shy and elusive and take effort to understand (like Will or Dustfinger)

- There probably won’t be another book like The Labyrinth of the Faun because it was created under such unbelievable circumstances. Cornelia does enjoy writing film scripts, though, like she did for the Wild Chicks recently

- Question: How does Cornelia come up with character names? She has a bunch of encyclopedias and when she knows where a story takes place she checks if there are any artists from there whose names she can steal. She always wants names to have meaning and to paint a picture of whatever character it belongs to. However, she says that sometimes the vibe of a name is a tricky thing: When she wrote The Thief Lord (which takes place in Italy), she thought ‘Mosca’ was the perfect name for a big strong boy. However when the time came to translate the story into Italian, the Italians told her that ‘Mosca’ sounds like the name of a tiny little fly. Oh well.

- Cornelia says a lot of readers have written to her about The Thief Lord because at one point Victor (the detective) calls Mosca (who is black) a “Mohrenkopf”. Context: ‘Mohrenkopf’ is a German slur towards black people and also an outdated name for this goddamn marshmallow cookie:

Fuck this cookie.

- Cornelia says yeah, Victor is being racist in that moment but that doesn’t mean that she, the author, is racist. Similarly, she used the term ‘Indians’ in Reckless and a lot of readers were upset which she did not anticipate. To her it’s a positive word since she admires ‘Indians’ so deeply and finds terms like ‘Native/Indigenous Americans’ very complicated. She wonders how much longer she’ll be allowed to say ‘Black Prince’

- She thinks it’s right to be vigilant about bigotry but simply searching for problematic words is dangerous because context matters

- Bookstore lady brings up Pippi Longstocking and how the N-word has been removed from modern copies (think Pippi’s father). She think’s it’s wrong because the original text is part of the cultural heritage and shouldn’t be hidden from children but instead explained. 

- Cornelia says that in America she sees the hurt that’s connected to that word but she doesn’t think it’s right to simply remove the slur and expect everything to be fine. After all, the text in which it was used is still the same so any harmful ideas would still be in there and that needs to be discussed. Simply whitewashing things doesn’t make them any less racist.

- Cornelia brings up a visual example: The Asterix comics. She always liked them but the fact that the only black character is drawn as a racist caricature is harmful and wrong. It’s time to listen when black people express how hurtful depictions like that can be. Many white people never noticed racism growing up because it never affected them and that’s why it’s important to learn

- The ‘from rags to riches’ American dream was usually reserved for white people and Cornelia thinks a lot of (white) people are waking up to that fact. The way black people are still being criminalized and the way prisons use inmates for cheap labor is horrible and like a modern kind of slavery

- The bookstore people try to say something but Cornelia is not done: We Europeans are not off the hook either because the sins and wounds of colonialism are still felt around the world, not to mention the way other countries are still exploited today. Our wealth rests on the shoulders of poorer nations. Many doors are opening and it’s difficult to step through but we have to do it and admit to the things we may have been blind to due to privilege.

- The three of them agree on that and go back to reading questions

- Question: What are Cornelia’s tips for young authors? She advises to never start writing a story on a computer, always get a notebook and collect ideas & pictures for your story. Don’t rush things. If you have more than one story, give each story its own book and feed whichever one is hungry. It’s important to follow the idea where it leads, if you use cliches your readers will recognize them. And then it just takes time and passion. And trust in your own unique voice. She paraphrases a quote by Robert Louis Stevenson who once said no one cares about stories or characters or whatever, people read books to see the world through the goggles the author puts on them. I’m sure he said it prettier, I’m paraphrasing the paraphrase.

- That said, Cornelia thinks authors who say things like “I’m writing to express my innermost turbulences” are kinda dumb. She thinks it’s important to write about the things that happen everywhere else and around yourself and to try to find voices for others, not just yourself. Just like how carpenters build furniture for everyone else, a writer should use words to build things for others, whether it’s a window or door or a hiding place.

- Speaking of notebooks, as most of us probably know Cornelia has a lot of those and occasionally publishes them on her website. She says she’d love to let people look through them in person, maybe at the new farm in Germany (Cornelia sure does love farms)

- Speaking of writing things on paper, all three of them stress that everyone should write more letters because one day they’ll be old letters and curious people will want to read them, just as we like to read old documents now.

- Last question: How come both the Inkworld and the Mirrorworld feature a character called Bastard? Cornelia thinks that’s a good question and she should probably think about that. (Am I stupid? Are they talking about Basta? I’m confused)

...And with that, the livestream ends. They’ll get back together to do this again two months from now, until then: I’m going tf to sleep

[woodrokiro]

Hollowed (fic), Part Eight

Fandom: Bleach

Pairing: IchiRuki

Summary: They call her a miracle, but he looks at her as if she’s normal. It scares her. Fantasy/Futuristic/Zombie kinda?AU. Read Parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, and Seven. 

It’s the same dream, each and every goddamned time.

It starts out simply and true and horrid enough: the night he last saw her. His mother put him and the girls to bed, kissing each on the nose and wishing them sweet dreams. There is wetness on her cheek from when she briefly nuzzles her son--but it’s quick, and her expression is as peaceful as it usually is.

Was.

But in this dream, he gets out of bed.

His father isn’t in the living room, for whatever reason--but he’s too focused on his mother’s retreating form out of the house to really think about that detail. He starts to follow her--nine year old feet silent as they can while still trying to catch up. He thinks maybe she’s going outside to the safety cellar--even though there has been no Hollowed alarm, even though they haven’t had enough food to store there for ages--until he sees that she’s drifting toward the river.

His heart stops beating so quickly, because the river is a sacred place to Masaki. It’s where she taught her children how to swim, where they catch most of their food, where she has taught him that water is life. So long as they have this river, she says, they need to keep fighting for their lives, for their happiness.

But when she reaches the silt at the water’s edge, she suddenly stops.

“Ichigo,” she calls softly without turning around. Her voice is oddly distorted. “Get away from here.”

He is about to ask why, why would he ever leave her here when she knows the tide gets so high at night and then she turns.

Half of her beautiful face is mangled into a grimace, the other half covered by a Hollowed mask. Her body bubbles and blackens, and she reaches out a hand--gnarling into a claw--toward him.

“Run.”

--

Why he’s awake far earlier than the rest of the group is never questioned, and he’s glad. 

He doesn’t know how he’d answer, anyway.

--

He finds out soon enough that Rukia likes books. 

He guesses it’s not too surprising: he can’t imagine there’s much else for her to do, after all. 

But about a week after he starts, when he realizes there really isn’t much to do except sit around, ask what she’s doing (to which she may or may not answer), and watch dust filter through the screen, he makes do on his oath and brings a book. Well. His only book. It’s not gonna last him long, but hey. Something to do is something to do.

He’s about five pages in when he hears a creaking of the screen and looks up to find her hands gripping through the holes, eyes peering curiously down on him.

“What are you reading?”

Unnerved by her sudden attention, he slaps the book closed. “Look, I told you I’d bring something to read if things got as boring as they have been--”

“No, no. Of course.” She waves her hand impatiently. “I understand. What’s the name of your book?”

Slowly, he raises the tattered cover for her to see. “It’s… Hamlet. By William Shakespeare. Do you know it or…?”

She grins from ear to ear, clapping once in obvious pleasure. “Know it? Well, I know of it. They talk about it in a book Lord Yamamoto has of Shakespeare, but no one’s ever been able to find a copy for me. Is it true? That it’s his best, darkest work?”

“Well… I definitely don’t think darkest. Titus Andronicus is pretty dark, I hear--”

“Titus Andronicus is a travesty amongst his writing. Dark, yes: but no substance.” She sniffs with visible distaste, but Ichigo is intrigued with this conversation. Sure, he loves this book--it’s the one personally prized possession he was able to grab before fleeing his village--but he’s also fascinated with the sudden light in her eyes, the excitement in her voice at having someone to talk about an interest with.

The thought slips in uninvited that this glee suits her.

He shrugs, feeling a heat rise up his neck. “I wouldn’t know. I only have this one. I read All’s Well, once, but the copy was lost a long time ago. I had a book on his biography, too. Would love to find his other work, someday… But there’s more important things to ask for.”

Her fingernail scratches the screen in thought before she quickly glides over to a huge bookshelf in her section. Ichigo watches her: he’d be lying if he said he’s never noticed it before.

“What are you…?”

She trots back over, shoving a beautiful book through the larger exchange slot in the partition. “Here. I’ll trade you. I’ll take care of yours if you take care of mine.”

He eyes the cover. King Lear’s title is stitched in fine gold thread and he gulps. Although tempted, he shakes his head.

“Sorry. That thing’s in mint condition, but this copy is pretty important to me for sentimental value--”

“No, not literally trade, fool.” She rolls her eyes as if he’s the idiot being unclear. “Trade for reading. That thing isn’t deserving to be in my book collection, but it’ll do so I can finally read it. And when you finish this one, you can borrow another. I have near all of his work.”

He’s unsure, but finds himself putting his Hamlet copy in the slot too. “Okay… But I can’t really give you anything else, that’s the only one I have--”

“It doesn’t matter.” She’s grabbed his Hamlet, already finished with the conversation. “I like reading something a few times over anyway. And besides… It’s nice. I mean. To have someone to talk to about it with. I hope.” 

And with that, she walks her way up to her seat next to the window, curls her feet beneath her, and starts to read. 

He opens his own borrowed copy, starting a couple pages before he hears a sound.

Humming.

Strangely, he thinks, that suits her too.

--

“I just don’t get why she’s so… Isolated? But weirdly idolized? Like… She’s an imprisoned queen, or something.” Ichigo picks a piece of lint off his shirt. “Not to be dramatic. It’s just weird.”

It’s his day off, and he’s decided in his boredom to mosey over to Chad’s masonry unit and hang out. He and Chad don’t talk a lot (well, Chad doesn’t talk a lot), but he knows he can count on his friend for advice or venting whenever he needs.

Even when Chad’s pipsqueak boss glares at him from across the room the whole time he’s there.

“If you’re going to distract my apprentice,” the kid calls out, “you can at least be useful and help him in his work.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know the drill sir.” Ichigo hops off his stool, stands next to Chad to half-assedly polish weapons while his friend pounds away at hot iron. “Jesus. How this tightwad place managed to hire a runt as the head of masonry is beyond me.”

Chad stops his work momentarily to wipe the sweat from his brow. “Hitsugaya’s a good boss. He’s taught me a lot in a short time, and besides. He lets you in here while I’m working. Can’t say the kitchens or Ishida’s units would allow for your company.”

Ichigo huffs, but doesn’t disagree. As little as Chad may speak, he has an annoying habit of being right. 

“Yeah, yeah. Still can’t imagine it feels great being bossed around by a twelve-year old, though…”

The two work in companionable silence for a bit, and Ichigo can’t help but think that they really did match Chad to the best job for him. He’s glad someone in his group has found a job that makes sense, at least.

As if reading Ichigo’s thoughts, Chad clears his throat. “Have you talked to Karin recently?”

“Nah. I haven’t really had a chance to. Why?”

“Nothing new, but Yuzu mentioned to me she’s struggling.” Chad keeps his eyes down on his work, but Ichigo can read a tinge of worry. “Been messing up a lot in the kitchens, she says. Inoue makes some… Strange choices in her cooking, we know--but at least she enjoys the work, and is quick to correct her mistakes. She’s well liked there. But Karin…” He stops, not needing to say more.

“Karin’s got a temper.” Ichigo sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. “Fuck. Okay. I’ll--I don’t know. I’ll figure something out.”

“I’m sure she’s doing her best, but…”

“No, I know. But it’s not fair to her. I didn’t drag you all here so that any one of you could be miserable. ‘Specially my sisters.” 

“Why don’t you put her here?” Hitsugaya suddenly pops up beside them, carrying a couple of buckets of water to cool the iron. “Sado here says she’s almost as good with weapons as you are, and Old Man never gives me enough workers. We could use her help.”

Ichigo blinks. “Don’t you have some sort of… Weird sexist rule here? That women aren’t really allowed in the military?”

“You obviously haven’t met Captain Soifon… But I guess she is a special case. Anyway, I don’t have that rule.” Hitsugaya grunts while he pours the water. “If someone can do the work, who cares? It’s Old Man’s preference that things are the way they are. Comes from his religious background, having been a monk and all.” 

Ichigo’s jaw drops. He gives Chad a look before hounding on Hitsugaya. “A monk? Are you fucking--why are you so nonchalent about this? Aren’t they--weren’t they supposed to be peaceful ‘n stuff? How is he the HEAD of this entire military institution--”

“Don’t go screaming at me just because you don’t know the history of this place! It’s not my fault you didn’t educate yourself before you got here!” Hitsugaya crosses his arms and glares reproachfully up at him. “Whatever. I guess it’s not that long of a story. Basically, this place was a monastery when the Hollowed first appeared. A big important one. It’s debated whether Yamamoto was head monk and all, but then I guess it doesn’t matter. Anyway, what’s left of the military scampered up here, and Yamamoto took over as Head General. Some sort of ‘God’s Will,’ thing in his mind, probably. The rest is, as they say, history.”

“So Lord Yamamoto didn’t come from the military directly?” Chad vocalizes Ichigo’s next question, however scrambled it might be in his mind right now. 

“No. But to be honest… Look, Yamamoto’s done some disagreeable things. Frankly I don’t trust a lot of his decisions, but without him the entire human population could very well be dead right now.” Hitsugaya shrugs, picking up the emptied buckets. “Anyway Kurosaki, if you want to get your sister over here, I’ll take her. But I wouldn’t recommend asking Yamamoto directly. He’ll probably say no. I’d ask Lady Rukia to request the transfer.” 

Ichigo’s mind takes a minute to process the mention of the name and frowns in confusion. “Rukia? Why would she change his mind?”

“It may not seem like it, but she does have some input here. Not to him directly--through her brother. Whether you call it Byakuya’s guilt or affection, who cares? Anyway, it’s helped me get a friend from the valley into the service sector.” He twists his mouth thoughtfully. “She’s much kinder than the whispers say she is.”

Before he can ask the pipsqueak about that story, the kid turns and walks out the front door to (presumably) get more water.

Ichigo turns to Chad and his friend shrugs in response.

“It’s worth a shot,” he manages gruffly, and Ichigo can’t help but agree. 

--

Later that night, Ichigo approaches Ishida about it.

He doesn’t want to get Karin’s hopes up quite yet, just in case it doesn’t happen. Instead, he wants Uryuu’s input: Uryuu--who he definitely still thinks is an idiot--is at least a good sounding board for ideas, and he can count on him to be blunt.

Plus, it’s been a while since he talked to the guy. 

He’s been quiet ever since he started his part time shifts on the medical grounds two days ago, and hasn’t really been speaking to anybody except Orihime. He’s never been exactly chatty in the first place, but this…

When Ichigo tells him his idea about asking Rukia for the change, Ishida’s eyes flash strangely at her name. 

“I wouldn’t ask her during your shift tomorrow. I don’t know that she’d be… Up for it.” He says quickly before focusing back on mending a shirt. There’s a brief silence before he stops, sensing Ichigo’s stare.

“What?”

“I mean… That’s a weird thing to say. What do you mean she wouldn’t be ‘up for it?’ You meet her without telling me, or something?”

“No I didn’t meet her, and if I did I wouldn’t need to tell you--anyhow.” Ishida pinches his forehead and breathes in. Ichigo frowns.

“Everything okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Really. Just… You’ve mentioned she’s tired after your days and nights off, right? Maybe you won’t catch her… At her best. That’s all. Just give her a break tomorrow morning.” 

He gets up and is about to walk out of the room when Ichigo calls out to him.

“You said we gotta keep each other updated about this place. Is there anything you’re not telling me? I know we argue… But you can talk to me, Ishida.”

Uryuu doesn’t turn around to answer him for a minute. When he does, his face is solemnly thoughtful. “I know. But I’ll have to let you know when I’ve figured out what exactly is going on myself, Kurosaki.” 

He shuts the door, and wonders how many more secrets his group is keeping from him. 

[sailorchiron]

Merry Christmas @tasyfa !

I loved the prompts of sunlight, ribbons, and poetry!  I confess I forgot to check for your response to my anon ask...  I decided to do a moodboard of a bookshop au, and had so much fun with it that I actually wrote a fic to go with it!  I hope you have a happy holiday season filled with joy and Malex!  

Sunlight, Ribbons, and Poetry | Read on Ao3

When Michael Guerin parked his beat up truck in front of Chapter and Verse, he wasn’t really sure what he was doing, or what to expect. All he knew was that Isobel loved poetry, and he loved his sister, and he was determined to get her a better Christmas present than Max for once in his life.

Chapter and Verse was a popular book store downtown, next door to Uncommon Grounds, which was universally known to be the best coffee in town. According to the barista he’d unsuccessfully flirted with two weeks ago, it was because the owner had connections for an expensive Italian roast that was usually too pricey for small town tastes. Also according to the barista that turned out to have a boyfriend, Chapter and Verse was well known for carrying a wide selection of poetry as well as fiction and nonfiction, and for having antique and special editions as well as new books. Seemed like a no brainer to pop into the quaint store and grab something pretty for Iz, but there was a problem.

Michael knew absolutely nothing about poetry.

He had some vague, foggy memories about studying poetry in high school English, but math and science were his things, not poetry and literature. He had no idea what to get. None.

The bells on the door chimed cheerfully when he went in, and he had to admit that the store was absolutely charming, with sun streaming in the front window and tall, dark wood shelves crammed with colorful volumes. The scuffed wood floor was broken up by old oriental rugs, and the counter sporting the cash register was an antique relic of days gone by. Michael noticed a hand painted sign hanging from the ceiling pointing the way to Uncommon Grounds, and sure enough, there was a door connecting the two businesses that he’d never noticed before. He looked for other helpful ceiling signs, and followed the one to the back right corner labeled ‘Poetry.’

He walked up and down the aisles for a few bewildered minutes, completely out of his element, and not having a single clue what to get. Some of the clearly antique books were beautiful, but what if they were poems about like death or something? Isobel was a romantic and wouldn’t want depressing, morbid poetry. He was starting to get nervous about finding anything, and considering a Target gift card for Christmas, when he decided to find an employee to help him.

Aaaaand, didn’t see a single soul. In fact, it was strangely quiet in the store. Am I the only person in this entire building?

Michael was on the verge of just leaving when he spotted someone in a little alcove with a colorful rug and walked over. French doors were propped open into what was a little reading nook, and sitting on the floor with a cup of coffee and a book was the most beautiful man that Michael had ever seen. He just stared for a minute. Messy dark hair, a little attractive scruff, neck that was begging for his lips, elegant hands, a face you’d definitely write home to mama about. The gorgeous man had kicked off his shoes and a crumpled apron was on the floor next to him. He was engrossed in what he was reading and hadn’t noticed him standing there trying to keep his tongue in his head. “Um, excuse me?”

Michael had been unprepared for that pretty face and his jaw might have dropped open.

“Yes?”

Fuck, his voice is amazing. “Um, do you work here?”

The beautiful man raised an eyebrow and glanced at the apron...then the coffee.

“Oh, you’re on your break, sorry, I’m just completely lost.”

“It’s okay.” He stood up. “What are you looking for?”

“Romantic poetry?” He watched subtle signs of disappointment in the gorgeous clerk. “For my sister! She’s just a really romantic person and I think she’d like love poems.” He watched the man’s face brighten. “Maybe an antique or really pretty book?”

“Sure. I’m Alex, by the way.”

“Michael.” They kind of looked at each other for a minute. He was struck by just how pretty Alex’s dark eyes were.

Alex, for his part, was internally screaming. Who needed a lunch break when someone that sexy wanted help looking for a book? He’d been momentarily crushed by the request for love poems, but the hurried explanation that it was for a romantic sister led him to believe that Michael might be interested. He shook his head to break the tension. “What kind of things does she like? Just in general, not specific to poetry.”

“Um, flowers? Korean dramas, aesthetic photography, huge parties, girly clothes, and make up?”

“How old is she?” Alex laughed, amused by Michael’s exasperated tone.

“28.”

“I was totally picturing 16, okay, revising my poetry ideas.” He led Michael down a narrow aisle. “Does she have a boyfriend or girlfriend?”

“Not right now.”

“Hmm…” Alex pulled the step stool over to the shelf he wanted, cognizant of the fact that he’d been so taken by amber eyes and springy curls that he’d forgotten to put his shoes back on. “Does she like to make grand gestures?”

“Oh god, yes, that’s Isobel to a T.”

“Wordsworth.” He pulled out two books. “Antique or new edition? I have both for this collection.” He held out the old book, black with elegant silver scroll work next to a smaller paperback with a picture of the sky.

“Definitely the antique. What kind of poems are they?”

“Wordsworth basically started the Romantic movement in England. Here, let me read you a poem.

“The world is too much with us; late and soon, Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers — Little we see in Nature that is ours; We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon! This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon; The winds that will be howling at all hours, And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers; For this, for everything, we are out of tune; It moves us not. Great God! I’d rather be A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn; So might I, standing on this pleasant lea, Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn; Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea; Or hear old Triton blow his wreathèd horn.

“Not romantic like lovers, but romantic, like grand and expressive.”

Michael just stared, entranced by that beautiful voice reading poetry so passionately. “I love it.”

“There are other good ones, too. Here, hold this one.” Alex handed the book to Michael and stepped down before walking down the aisle. “This is another Romantic poet, Keats.

“Bright star! Would I were steadfast as thou art-- Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night, And watching, with eternal lids apart, Like Nature’s patient sleepless Eremite, The moving waters at their priestlike task Of pure ablution round earth’s human shores, Or gazing on the new soft fallen mask Of snow up on the mountains and the moors-- No--yet still steadfast, still unchangeable, Pillow’d upon my fair love’s ripening breast, To feel for ever its soft fall and swell, Awake for ever in a sweet unrest, Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath, And so live ever - or else swoon to death.”

“Uh, that’s dramatic.”

“Would your sister like it? Or is it too dramatic?”

“I think she’d like it, actually. She’s kinda dramatic herself.”

Alex laughed and handed the antique book, bound in red leather with faded gold lettering, into Michael’s careful hands. “Does she like Shakespeare? I just got a really nice edition of his sonnets and those are mostly romantic.”

“I have no idea, but I’m game.” Michael decided he’d basically follow Alex anywhere in the store for the chance to just bask in his presence.

The book was a new edition, not antique, but it was bound in deep rose leather with a fanciful design of roses in gold, pink, and green on the cover. The pages were gilded, and it had a ribbon bookmark. “Sonnet 116 is my favorite.”

“You have a favorite?” Michael blinked. He hadn’t considered that ordinary people had favorite sonnets.

“Well, yah, I’m in here all day selling books of poetry, some of it is bound to stick.”

Michael laughed softly. “What’s your favorite poem of all time?” Not that he’d know it, but he mostly wanted to keep talking to Alex until he could guide the conversation to exchanging phone numbers.

“That’s impossible to answer, because poetry is so dramatically different from era to era. That said, I like early American poetry more, like Walt Whitman and Emily Dickenson, than Romantic poetry.”

“I have to confess I’ve never heard of them. Or if I did, I totally forgot.”

Alex raised an eyebrow at him. “Here, I’ll read you a Whitman poem.” He walked back into the alcove where Michael had found him and picked up the battered paperback he’d left on the floor.

“PASSING stranger! You do not know how longingly I look upon you, You must be he I was seeking, or she I was seeking, (it comes to me, as of a dream,) I have somewhere surely lived a life of joy with you, All is recall’d as we flit by each other, fluid, affectionate, chaste, matured, You grew up with me, were a boy with me, or a girl with me, I ate with you, slept with you--your body has become not yours only, nor left my body mine only, You give me the pleasure of your eyes, face, flesh, as we pass--you take of my beard, breast, hands, in return, I am not to speak to you--I am to think of you when I sit alone, or wake at night alone, I am to wait--I do not doubt that I am to meet you again, I am to see to it that I do not lose you.”

“I really love that,” Michael admitted, touched by the words. “That’s what so much of life is, just passing by a stranger and wondering if he’s your soulmate.” He hoped that ‘he’ would ensure that Alex knew he was very interested in him. “It’s beautiful.”

Alex smiled, feeling a connection to Michael. “One of my favorites.” Michael really has the most beautiful eyes.

The door bells chiming broke the spell that was keeping their eyes locked. Alex realized that his break was probably long over, his apron was on the floor in the reading room, and he was in his socks. The last thing he wanted was to walk away from Michael. “Which book do you want to get?”

Michael blinked. “Um, I think I’ll get all three. It’s Christmas, she can have three pretty books.”

“Alright.” Alex started walking to the cash register. Now that there were other customers, he couldn’t just hang out with Michael, no matter how cute he was. “I keep forgetting it’s almost Christmas.”

“How can you forget?! There’s Christmas shit everywhere!”

Alex laughed. “I think it’s because my family doesn’t really do much. We don’t even have a tree.”

“Oh, that’s no fun.” Michael was hit with pure, genius inspiration. “We’re decorating our tree tonight, you should come over.”

“What, really? Wouldn’t that be awkward for your family?”

“No, man, the more the merrier. My family loves guests. Especially my sister.”

“I don’t know.” Alex was sorely tempted, he really wanted more time with Michael. “Hey, do you want me to gift wrap these? We have some really pretty wrapping paper and ribbons.”

“Oh, that would be fantastic.” He watched Alex slide behind the counter and start ringing up the books. None of the books had barcodes, they had handwritten labels that Alex was carefully removing. The wrapping paper was really pretty, it was deep blue and shiny with dark pinecones frosted with white glitter. Michael was impressed with Alex’s wrapping skills, he couldn’t do that well if he was given explicit instructions. The ribbons were red satin, and he stacked the three books and tied the long ribbon around all of them. “That looks beautiful.”

“Thanks,” Alex answered, compliment warming him.

Michael had to look away to keep from staring into Alex’s dark eyes, and noticed a rack of postcards with words on them. “What are these?”

“Oh, little poetry quotes. They’re hand lettered.”

“Are you an artist?” Michael smiled.

“Oh, no,” Alex denied, waving. “I’m not an artist, I didn’t do those. I’m a musician.”

“Really? I dabble in guitar.”

“I play, too.” Michael was getting more and more attractive.

Michael reached the decision that this was fate. “Hey, you’ve got glitter on your face, here.” He held out his hand and Alex leaned in for him to brush the sparkles off his cheek. His fingers lingered, and before he knew it, they were moving together, eyes slowly closing as their lips met in a sweet, sweet kiss.

Time slowed down and both Michael and Alex forgot it existed.

Until someone cleared their throat and they pulled apart, surprised that they’d gotten so lost in each other. Alex was immediately flustered, and Michael was grinning so wide that his face almost hurt.

Alex put the books on the counter. “I’m so sorry, I want to keep talking but I have to work,” he apologized. “Can I get your number?” He patted his body. “Fuck, my phone is in my apron.” Which was on the floor in the reading room. He grabbed one of the postcards and scrawled his number on the back. “Text me, I’d love to come over and decorate your tree.”

“I’ll see you tonight then.” He just smiled into Alex’s eyes until they both jumped when more throat clearing interrupted them. He grinned and winked at him, then headed out the front door with his festive package and a phone number.

In the truck, Michael looked at the postcard and immediately added Alex’s number to his phone. He sent a quick message of his name and a heart emoji, then flipped the card back over. It was a Walt Whitman quote.

“We were together. I forget the rest.”

[optimiist]

𝚒’𝚍  𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙  𝚊𝚗  𝚎𝚢𝚎  𝚘𝚗  𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖  ;   that  there  is  LIONEL  MILLER  ,  notorious  for  being  (  resentful  )  and  (  tense  )  ,  but  there  are  times  when  he  can  be  (  considerate  )  and  (  self-effacing  )  .   i've  heard  that  he  could  pass  as  a  YUSUF GATEWOOD  doppelganger  ,  but  i  don't  see  it  .   the  (  thirty-eight  )  year - old  cis man has  been  in  town  for  (  his entire life  )  and  they  are  an  (  english professor  )  by  day  and  murder  suspect  by  night  .   they  tend  to  spark  images  of  an endless collection of the romantics - from the john donnes of the world to the carson mccullers’ ,  the perfect leather-on-tweed stereotype , being a willing human doormat to those with bright eyes and a kind smile , rehearsing the humphrey bogart but ending up the victor laszlo , a secret even worse than murder: …your favorite movie is the abomination of 2019  .   you’ll  know  when  they  walk  by  because  they  always  seem  to  be  blasting  as  time  goes  by  by  DOOLEY WILSON  .   it  truly  explains  why  they're  known  as  THE  SECRET  ADMIRER  .

TO KNOW:

born to a single mother, lionel was lucky in never joining the daddy issues™ club. nonetheless, his mother’s status still deeply affected him. with all of the men he watched go in and out of her life, none staying around long enough for him to call his true role model, he found a very thin line - but it was still a line and he knew exactly which side he wanted to be on. the line? separated the good men from the toxic men. and, of course, he wanted to be a good man!

it should be noted that his mother worked in the local library ( he was unaware of why it was named what it was named for quite a while - he thought it was just named after abraham lincoln and some other guy ). naturally, he spent most of his youth reading authors all the way from shel silverstein to lewis carroll to… most importantly… t.s. eliot. why is this the most important? you may ask yourself.

he unironically likes cats. the book it was based on… the musical… even the 2019 movie… there are very few people he’d ever admit it to, but… his favorite movie is cats (2019).

ANYWAY, as he grew, he matured into the catalogs of writers such as john donne, william shakespeare, tennessee williams, carson mccullers…

he was fucked!!

the authors and the poets and the playwrights all gave him a sense of what love is, what love must be. he began writing poetry, attempting to mimic donne’s subtle style. this both helped and harmed him when he met the girl he was totally sure would be the love of his life: chastity. she was gorgeous and kind and had bright eyes… 

he prepared a speech asking her out and rehearsed it every morning. just in case he forgot, he even wrote it down on notecards. but, when the time came, he was always just too… frozen. 

he didn’t shoot his shot on time - before he knew it, ethan kim was dating the girl he’d psyched himself out of asking out one too many times. 

although it was difficult for him to try to see chastity as just a friend ( perhaps friendly acquaintance at most on her part ), he did his best… especially when ethan enlisted him to help him get the girl™.lionel had plenty of moral qualms about it, but… ultimately, money was money. libraries didn’t make much. even the smallest amount would help. 

not to mention, it was an excellent way to see if he… would’ve been successful in asking her out. in words, at least.

he’d give ethan poems he’d already written, soliloquies he’d been inspired to write, and just… ultimately give him the advice that all of the romantics had given him throughout the years.

when chastity was murdered, his heart :( shattered :( died along with her but more poetically :( while his alibi checked out - he had been in the library writing a poem in donne’s style, the subject inspired by mccullers’s ‘the lover v. the beloved’ tangent in the ballad of the sad café, and he won! there were some areas in which they could poke holes: his mother, who clearly wouldn’t want her son to go to jail, was the only eye witness, they had no way of proving the date he submitted the poem, etc., etc. but, for the most part, his alibi was pretty solid.

this idiot didn’t profess his love until she was dead. WAYYYYY too late to shoot ur shot buddy!!

anyway, he’d already gotten accepted into college - thank god because he, otherwise, would not have been in the state to write a worthy application. he chose local for his undergrad. 

along the way, he found some new people to love. or try to love. it wasn’t exactly the actual relationship that made it hard for him to ‘get over’ chastity, what considering they’d never had one, rather the literal death and lack of closure.

but, come grad school, he met the woman he would be able to call his wife!! she was lovely and kind and beautiful and had such bright eyes. after only two years of dating, he proposed (granted, he’d been prepping… for an entire year... ) and!! she said yes!!

with an english professor slot (yes, slot) opening up at the university, they returned to taunwick. it was absolutely perfect, if you were to ask him. he could help his mom as libraries went the way of the dodo, he could potentially start a family (they were considering adoptive), he had a job he loved!!

but... then there’s that whole problem of the reunion… and, while he’s been doing well in taunwick, what in spite of the reminders of chastity… this could be yikes central for his marriage!! which is why it’s gonna be submitted to the main in .5 seconds!! 

and that’s what you missed on glee!

TL;DR:

hopeless romantic who will never admit that he unironically likes all forms of cats.

CONNECTION IDEAS:

** (open to any gender unless otherwise specified)

his wife (f): WILL BE BEING SENT INTO THE MAIN.

people he tried to love: as was previously mentioned, when he entered undergrad, he desperately tried to find people he could love just as much as he figured he’d loved chastity. only real requirement would be that they would’ve both gone to the local university at the same time!!

opposites attract: he’s meek, easy to unnerve… give me this. give me 13 going on 30’s main friendship.

neighbor: pretty self-explanatory!! they live in the suburbs next door to he and his wife… both of whom are disgustingly domestic!! 

couple friends: pls this idea just makes me laugh. we love the failed version of this connection where… it’s their last resort… they’re desperate… everyone else is trying to induct them into having a foursome… they just want a wholesome friendship… this is the closest they’re getting!!

students: let’s hear it for all the younger characters out there!!

more to come!!

FURTHER:

for a bit of a better idea:

pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/idkimnewwastaken/lionel-not-richie/

playlist (the final song is a lil treat): https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7vYatuuQmEWxcKvs2CBjCa?si=_XQCKYGsRz2jujfMT7V1BQ

musing tag: https://optimiist.tumblr.com/tagged/lionel-%7C-musings.

mini stats (to be later extended): optimiist.tumblr.com/ls (the font is strangely huge rn but… don’t feel like fixing it at this moment in time :\ )

[megabadbunny]

so after sketching out the doodle for this post upon the request of the lovely @chiaroscuroverse, I decided it was high time I finally got started on something I’ve been wanting to do for a while now. Thusly, I present to y’all the first installment of my sketch series New Who Companions in (Mostly) Historically-Accurate Period Costumes! :D

(clicky on the smaller images above to embiggen; clicky the read-more for costume history facts and assorted nerditude for each design!)

So long story short, I’m a big ol’ fashion history nerd, studied a good chunk of fashion history in the Western world during ye olde college days, and sometimes I like to think about what our New Who companions might have worn if they wanted to go mostly-historically-accurate in their old-world adventures. Below are some descriptions of what those costumes could have looked like, and a little bit of the historical context surrounding the ensembles. Thanks for joining me on this sartorial nerd-journey! <3

Fig. 1: Donna Noble, The Fires of Pompeii (Roman Empire, 79 AD)

So Donna’s original costume, while very pretty, is not accurate in any way; I can only imagine the designer was held back by some untold constraints (i.e. this costume is either constructed based on stylistic requests from Catherine Tate or it’s the product of executive meddling). Here, Donna wears a stola, i.e. a dress-like garment fastened with fibulae clasps and held in place with a girdle high above the waist. This garment would technically be worn by a married woman, to sort of show off her wealth and worth, but I figure Donna don’t give no shits about that, just give her the pretty dress already. She’s also wearing a palla, a shawl Roman women wore when going about their business outside. You would typically see the palla wrapped around the woman’s body to both accentuate her curves where desired, to hide her features when wanted (women might draw the hood close to the face to hide from unwanted male gazes), and to keep the material from dragging along the ground. The volume of fabric in the shawl signified a woman’s status; the more fabric, the wealthier the lady. Donna’s garments are fashioned from the finest material available, being linens imported from Egypt and silks imported from China.

Fig. 3: Bill Potts, The Eaters of Light (Scotland, c. 100 AD)

So, finding solid details on how women dressed in this time and place was fun,* but I did my best to sort of piece things together into a design that would make sense given the convergent influences and the materials (cloth/fibers, dyes, equipment) available in the area at the time. Basically, you’ve got a tunic cinched at the waist, and a woven cloak on top sporting a Pictish-type design, and simple jewelry fashioned from alloys that were commonplace at the time. Bill’s brooch and belt would definitely be met with approval from the other ladies; only peasant-women left the house without a belt.

* It was not fun. It was frustrating.

Fig. 2: Rose Tyler, The Stone Rose spinoff novel (Rome, 120 AD)

Rose’s garments and hair are intentionally sculptural in design, inspired by a series of Roman statues built around the time the story is set (I figured it was appropriate given the book’s plot!). Here she is wearing half of her Fortuna costume, on her way to save the Doctor (obv). Typically, a not-yet-married woman would only need to wear one layer (as unmarried women were, shall we say, low on the priority list in terms of Roman fashion), but here, on her way to being immortalized as the great Fortuna, an exception has been made for Rose; Marcia’s servants have draped, wrapped, and pinned some very fine material over Rose’s close-fitting tunica. Rose is also shown with a mantle, for covering her hair in public. Both Donna and Rose would have had their hair curled using a calamistrum, or an early curling iron, which varied in shape and style, but in this case likely would have actually been made of iron, and warmed over hot coals.

Fig. 4: Clara Oswald, Robot of Sherwood (England, 1190 AD)

Okay, so why did they make this look like a Halloween costume? It’s just, this episode clearly had a budget, the designer clearly did their homework, so who made what decision and where and when that led us to this? I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s a nice Halloween costume! Like, one you would have to rent instead of buy, because she is le pricey. But I’m curious to know why the designer ventured so close to the actual periodwear without actually committing to it. Like the sleeves—the flare at the elbow suggests the overdress, or bliaut, is of French design, except those sleeves ain’t near big enough, neither in terms of volume or length. Sometimes these sleeves were so long, women would have to knot them to keep them from dragging the ground. If you don’t wanna deal with big sleeves for your action heroine, that’s fine, just go with a more English design, which forewent the exaggerated trumpet-shape in favor of something more subtle. The current shape just looks weird—like, it’s halfway there, but got tired and gave up. Then you’ve got the front-lacing on the bodice; this is a nope, and only enhances the Halloween/fancy dress look. Dresses would fasten on the side or in the back; if you were upper-class, you might be looking at a modesty panel to hide the lacing in the case of the latter. The hair is another instance of halfway-there; the top half is pretty good, with its center-part and the wraparound braid, but the loose bottom portion and the salon-curls are a big no-no. Curls weren’t really in vogue in the area at the time; ladies’ hair was worn long and braided, both to keep it out of the way and to show off elaborate styles. And last but certainly not least, why the heck is Clara’s circlet shaped the way it is? It’s like they took a necklace, situated it with a bunch of slack in the chain, and stuck it to her forehead using spirit gum. Would noble ladies have worn circlets/coronets at the time? Sure! Would they have been shaped (or stuck-on???) like that? Nope! The original ensemble is full of potential but it feels like someone somewhere along the decision-making process looked at the original, better design, said, “Eh, can you modernize (read: sex) that up for me?” and then this was born. Again, it’s not horrible, just, it could have been so much more.

/rant

Fig. 5: Amy Pond, Vampires of Venice (Italy, 1580 AD)

So I realize there’s a class difference between what Amy wore in the show and what’s depicted here, but I figured the upper-class depiction made more sense, given the fashions of the other young ladies accepted into Calvieri’s school. (That being said, Amy’s original outfit still isn’t quite there; this shows an example or two of what a working-class woman would wear at the time.) On the right, Amy is wearing a velvet gown over a petticoat; even though the color and bodice-shape denote a heavy Spanish influence, the dress would have been referred to as a French gown due to its fitted shape. Were Amy to go whole-hog and give herself some true mid-sixteenth-century hair, the front would be short, and regularly wound into tight, compact little curls, while the back was kept long, for elaborate braids and updos. That’s right--the sixteenth century was technically full of mullets. Mullets everywhere.

Fig. 6: Rose Tyler, A Groatsworth of Wit spinoff comic (England, 1592)

ok but the design in the comic, just

I don’t even understand why the artist drew it this way. It doesn’t make sense, not from a costume history perspective and not even from a design/fudging-the-details-for-the-sake-of-modern-sensibilities perspective. (Also from a perspective-perspective; dude’s having some major issues figuring out how foreshortening works, but that’s neither here nor there I suppose.) It would actually be way faster to focus on what this gown does right instead of wrong. So, let’s see here: it has a lace collar, which was a thing. It has a structured, paneled bodice; also a thing. Full layered skirt, that’s good. And, that’s officially it. The rest of this design is garbage. Like, why the eff is she wearing a ruffle as some kind of low-slung belt? Is that supposed to be cartridge pleating? What century are those sleeves supposed to be from? (Do those outer sleeves even? Show up in any century to speak of, outside of my nightmares???) If you’re going to do a lace cuff at the end of the fitted sleeve, why not do it right (i.e. like the way they actually looked at the time, which was usually in a cone shape flaring out from the wrist to the elbow)? Why would the artist imagine that Rose would go to the trouble of pouring herself into this 80’s-teal monstrosity without bothering to do anything to her hair except for a ponytail? What the fuck is up with the fucking boob lace??? See, I know the artist can draw actual historically accurate outfits, because Shakespeare in this comic looks fine. His shit’s pretty accurate. But for some reason, when it came to Rose’s dress, it’s like the artist lost their goddamn mind. (Don’t even get me started on the jewelry and accents, not if there’s a loving god in this universe)

Fig. 7: Martha Jones, The Shakespeare Code (England, 1599)

So Martha has herself a lovely heavy brocade gown, trimmed in sable, accented with soft leather gloves, and topped with a cartwheel ruff round the neck. (Don’t worry; I imagine the TARDIS only carries ethically-harvested furs, like they’re grown in a lab somewhere or collected after critters have had a long and prosperous life or the hairs are vacuumed up and reconstituted by some futuristic device, etc. etc.) Elizabethan sumptuary laws dictated that folks had to dress according to social class, so depending on what your social class was, you may not have been legally permitted to wear things like silks, certain colors, certain furs, and more. Fashion was such a surging industry and indicator of wealth that, at the time, you had higher-ups selling huge swaths of land in order to have the money to dress themselves as well as possible--it was seriously that important to be fashionable. Martha’s garments indicate that she has pretty high social standing, given the materials used. Also, she wears a pretty bitchin’ hat.

Fig. 8: Yazmin Khan, The Witchfinders (England, 1612)

Yazmin’s dress sports a fashionably high-necked bodice featuring embroidered linen silk, topped with a standing collar and “wings” at the shoulders. The dark hues shown here were super-popular at the time due to a surge of obsession with melancholia in arts and literature. Yaz also wears a “Cavalier” style hat, accented with an ostrich feather. Her outfit is basically a riding-habit/hunting-habit, constructed with ease of movement in mind.

Fig. 9: Mickey Smith, Rose Tyler, and Reinette Poisson i.e. Madame de Pompadour, The Girl in the Fireplace (France, 1758)

Setting aside my many issues with this episode’s story/plot, the bugaboos I have with Reinette’s original costume design in the show are relatively minor, and I imagine can mostly be explained-away with stuff like “this is what the BBC already had on hand” and “goddamn that’s pretty.” Both pretty salient points! But I do think it’s interesting that the designer(s) went the way they did--Madame de Pompadour was actually famously not in favor of glittering gems (actually, she supposedly donated palace jewels to the French treasury more than once to help out during times of war); she tended to prefer fairly simple pearls as embellishment, instead. She also wasn’t really into big hair; obviously the styles shown here on Ms. Myles aren’t exactly Marie-Antoinette-big, but they’re definitely more voluminous and modernized than the styles the real-life MdP typically sported, which usually consisted of a slight pomp and fairly close-knit curls framing the face. (It’s also interesting that Moffat wrote her with such a heavy innuendo for sex/romance, because rumor had it she didn’t really actually enjoy things in the bedroom all that much, instead preferring to pull political strings, promote the arts, patronize motherfucking Voltaire!!!, help design architecture!!!, and keep the king constantly entertained and distracted so he literally didn’t royally fuck everything up. She was a very busy lady! Also she like. Paid contractors and artists on time? Instead of dicking them over with “credit” bullshit like other wealthy patrons??? Sorry she was just WAY more awesome than the show gave her credit for!) Anyhoo, long story short, Rose and MdP are shown here wearing gowns and hairstyles that are heavily inspired by those worn by the real-life MdP wore in some of her many many portraits.

Thanks for tuning in to my giant costume nerdfest; see you next time for part 2! <3 <3 <3

[fanficshiddles]

Punishing the maid, One shot

Thank you for the prompt! This wasn’t as difficult to write as I feel it should’ve been… Oops. Ah well, hope you like it! hehehe

torukun1 submitted:

Can I get a dom!Tom darkfic where he’s got a live-in maid (who’s forced to wear a sexy costume) and whenever she messes up her chores, he punishes her with BDSM torture (like, she accidentally damages his favorite antique collection of Shakespeare while she’s cleaning his bookshelves)?

I’d like it to include shibari, spanking, shoe-licking/shoe-fucking, and piss-play, but if that’s way too many fetishes you don’t have to write them LOL

WARNING: Rape/Non-con, piss play, humiliation, kidnapping, degrading comments, slapping. Tom is NOT nice in this fic, like really not nice. So don’t read if you’re not into this kinda thing!

Violet put on her slutty maid costume, with a humiliatingly short skirt and very low-cut top that left practically nothing to the imagination. She wasn’t allowed to wear any underwear, which was a nightmare in the cooler rooms because her nipples always got hard from the cold.

She sighed and looked herself over in the mirror once she finished applying her mascara and lipstick. Resigned to her life as being Tom’s maid wasn’t as nice as it had sounded.

When she applied for the live-in job, she was excited. Tom had been ever the gentleman, kind and warm towards her. Showing her around his spacious home, she had her own room and en-suite. And was allowed unlimited use in the kitchen.

At first, it had all been perfect. But then things got weird very quickly… Tom became more demanding and stricter with her duties. She found herself locked in the house almost all the time when he left, never explaining to her why he locked the door and wouldn’t allow her to have her own key.

Then the demands for what she wore started. He took away all of her clothes apart from a wardrobe full of the same slutty maid costumes.

He’d essentially kidnapped her. Because she couldn’t leave even when she wanted to.

He warned her that she would be in big trouble if she disobeyed him or broke anything. So she was always doing her job while on edge, terrified about what he would do.

But she found out partly yesterday… It marked exactly three weeks since she started the job. And what an anniversary it had turned out to be.

She was doing the dishes when she accidentally dropped a plate, smashing it. Tom, with his eager hearing, had come rushing downstairs to find her on her hands and knees, trying to gather all the pieces quickly before he arrived. But she was caught.

Violet had watched with wide eyes while he unbuckled his belt and pulled it out through the loops, not saying a word. But glaring at her with such angry eyes, she was too terrified to move.

He had moved in on her and without much warning at all, or giving her a chance to react, he’d brought the belt down hard across her backside. Because of the very short skirt, it had already ridden up mostly over her backside so it was all for the taking.

The strikes were hard and unrelenting, she cried and screamed at him to stop. But when she attempted to crawl away from him, he had grabbed her hair, that was so conveniently always in a pony tail at his command, and yanked her back to stay in place while he delivered ten more smacks of the belt.

Tom still hadn’t said a word when he regained his composure, letting out a small growl of content through his nose as he put the belt back on. He smirked a little, then turned on his heels and walked out of the kitchen. Leaving her a blubbering mess on the floor.

She shuddered thinking back to it. Her poor bottom was still in agony whenever she sat down or when the skirt brushed against her blistered and heated skin.

Knowing it was time to start, she reluctantly left her room before Tom would go looking for her, and she got to work with cleaning the house from top to bottom.

She managed to stay out of Tom’s way for the most part. Now and then he walked past and smacked her ass, making her sob. But she did her best to continue with what she had to do, trying to ignore her Master.

His study was the second last room she had to do for the day. The main bathroom was to be done last, then she could hide in her room for the rest of the day.

But as she was dusting his bookshelf, one of his Shakespeare collection books went flying off the shelf and when it hit the floor it landed spread open and damaged the spine.

Her eyes went wide and she froze. Knowing she would be in so much trouble. She quickly picked it up and closed it before putting it back in its place. She could only pray he wouldn’t notice the huge line down the spine.

Dusting the rest of the case quickly, she grabbed her cleaning equipment and turned towards the door. But her veins ran cold. Tom was there. He was stood leaning against the doorway, watching her with a firm glare on his face and his arms folded over his chest.

He’d seen her.

He started taking large, intimidating steps towards her. She backed away with each one until she was backed against his desk with nowhere to go.

‘How DARE you damage my book!’ His voice was like thunder, she shook uncontrollably at his rage.

‘I’m so sorry, Sir. Please, I didn’t mean to. I will buy you a new one. I’m so sorry.’ She rambled quickly.

But Tom shut her up with a slap to her cheek, making her eyes water. She covered her cheek with her hand and didn’t dare to look at him again.

‘Go and clean the bathroom! NOW! On your hands and knees! If I see you on your feet before I tell you again, I will beat you black and blue!’ He snarled at her angrily and pointed towards the door. His nostrils were flaring in his anger when she briefly glanced at him before dropping to her knees and crawling as quickly as she could to the bathroom.

It was limited what she could do on her hands and knees. So she started with scrubbing the toilet. That’s when she heard the heavy, dreaded, footsteps of Tom coming down the corridor. Every step he took made her jump.

Then he entered the bathroom.

She tried to ignore him and continued with what she was doing. She heard his belt buckle being undone and she thought the worst, he was going to hit her with it again. But when she heard his zipper, that confused her.

But she still didn’t dare turn around.

Then she felt it. At first, she didn’t believe it was what it was, she thought he was pouring water over her. But it was warm as it hit the back of her head and trailed down her back, soaking easily through her top.

Turning around in complete rage and utter humiliation, she couldn’t do anything while Tom kept pissing and it sprayed all over her face. She put her hands up to try and cover herself as she looked to the side, but there was so much. When she then tried to crawl away, he followed her and pissed all over her. It was in her hair, over her face, down her chest and down her back.

But then it stopped suddenly. She cried and looked up at Tom, he was still holding his cock in his hand.

‘Lie down on your back. Legs in the air. Do NOT move.’ He growled.

She shook her head and tried pleading, but then she had to obey. Another slap to her face made her do so. And she was scared what he might do otherwise.

She lay on the floor on her back, trying to ignore the taste of his piss as some had managed to land on her lips and there was nothing she could do.

To her horror, Tom took aim at her cunt and started pissing again. She lay there and cried. He was like a hose, it just kept coming. He must’ve drunk so much water beforehand, she thought.

Once Tom was happy that her pussy was soaked with his piss, he aimed up at her face again. Right at her lips.

Chuckling in amusement, he slowed down and then finally came to a dripping stop. He tucked himself away and continued staring at her with a grin. Her mascara was running down her cheeks and her lipstick was all over her chin.

‘Look at you. Such a filthy pig, covered in piss.’ He was making it out as if she had done that to herself.

She was too humiliated to move or say anything, feeling so broken and abused.

‘Get up on your knees, you stupid cunt.’ He snapped.

Violet felt emotionless as she rolled round and got onto her knees.

‘You may now grovel for my forgiveness.’ He growled.

She did what she thought would please him best. She crawled towards him and kissed his boot. When she glanced up at him, she saw that pleased him.

‘Please, Sir. Please forgive me. I am so sorry.’ She whimpered and kissed his boot repeatedly.

‘Lick it.’ He demanded.

Her eyes shot up to meet his icy cold stare again, but she could tell he was deadly serious. So she leaned down again and started licking over the top of it, trying to control herself and keep herself in check.

Once Tom was happy with the boot licking she gave to both boots, he then had another wicked idea.

‘Turn around. Ass in the air.’

She closed her eyes and held in a whimper, wishing that her humiliation was over. She was still stinking from his piss, she just wanted to run back to her room and shower.

But she did as she was told, not wanting to anger him any more than she already had. She turned and stuck her ass up the best she could, and pressed her forehead to the floor with her arms folded underneath her to support her.

She dreaded to think what was to come next.

Violet let out a squeak when he pressed the tip of his boot against her cunt. He rubbed up and down, then chuckled.

‘You’re such a little slut, look at you. You’re aroused.’ He sneered.

She bit down hard on her tongue, to keep herself from saying anything. She was already ashamed that her body had betrayed her with his cruel treatment of her. She had no idea why her body was aroused, she could only hope that it was because she was expecting him to rape her at any moment. So she was preparing herself for that invasion.

‘You’re disgusting. You have five minutes to shower, then I want you in my office. You have permission to stand again.’ He barked his order and pushed her ass with his foot, making her fall forwards as she continued crying, that just made him laugh cruelly.

‘GO!’ He roared.

She managed to scramble up to her feet and she ran as fast as she could back to her room. Knowing she had limited time, she went straight into the shower. Not even waiting for the water to warm up, she gritted her teeth and bared the cold for the first five seconds.

Tom was pleased when she returned to him promptly. Scared of what he would do to her if she was even a second late.

He was holding some rope and he simply held his finger up and twirled it around. Without needing to hear his demand, she turned around for him. Her hands were grabbed and forced behind her back, where he then tied them securely in place.

With her arms restrained behind her, he grabbed her neck and roughly shoved her against the wall. She cried out in fear, worried he was going to strangle her. With one strong hand around her neck, his other hand tore off the skirt and he nipped her thigh.

‘Open your legs.’ He spat at her.

She flinched at his tone of voice and spread her legs for him. Crying out when he slapped her cunt three times, one straight after the other. His hand around her neck was still dangerously tight, making her choke.

Tom spat on his fingers then forced two up into her tight channel suddenly, surprising her. She tried to rise up on her tiptoes to get away from his invading fingers, but they were relentless and with being held tightly by her neck to the wall, she could go nowhere.

He thrust his fingers deep into her, forcing her to adjust to them without much lubrication. Her shower clearly giving her time to get rid of her arousal.

But Tom was sneaky, he managed to bring her back to the point where he wanted. His hand growing ever tighter around her neck while he pumped his fingers into her with more vigour, making it hurt as well as feel pleasurable at the same time.

She begged and screamed for him to stop, but of course he didn’t. Though when she was close to coming, he squeezed her throat as tightly as possible until she passed out. Right before she could come. And he removed his fingers, not even allowing her passed out body to experience it.

Violet’s sight was blurry when she came to. She felt light headed and dizzy, but it was no wonder, as when she was able to focus she found she was hanging upside down. There was a gag in her mouth to stop her scream from being too loud.

Tom was sitting at his desk, typing away on his computer while she hung upside down right next to him. She was wrapped in intricate knots, with various rope around her body.

He looked to the side and smirked when he saw, and heard, that she was awake. While she struggled in her bonds, she started swaying back and fore slightly. Tom turned in his chair to fully face her. He had a wicked look about him as he reached out and pushed her, making her swing even further away then back towards him.

‘Such a delightful new addition to my furniture. I rather like this, I think I may keep you here.’ He titled his head to the side, studying her closely.

When she swung back towards him, he grabbed her hair and held her near him. She sobbed around the gag, her tears simply fell to the floor beneath her.

‘Mmmm.’ He purred, raking his eyes all over her naked body. ‘Maybe when I sell up, I will leave you hanging here. It would look wonderful in the photos.’ He chuckled.

He let her hair go and she went swinging away from him, only briefly though. He turned back to the computer and started working again, while she remained hanging next to him, where her struggling only made her swing more and more.

And only made Tom’s cock harder.

[sunaddicted]

Fanfic Ask Game

Was tagged by  @butterfliesandresistance who literally read some of my first attempts at fanfiction in English back when I was trying to learn how to properly use lj (spoiler alert: I never did)

At what age did you start writing fanfiction?

I actually started as a child because my mom bought me a book by a famous Italian author of children literature and in the book, he provided three endings for each of the stories and if you didn't like any, there were empty pages to encourage you to write your own. From there on, I religiously started to change what I didn't like about the books I read.

Regarding my first posted fic, it was around when I was 13/14 on the Italian EFP (a fanfic archive)

Who is your favorite author?

This is a very hard question - Tolkien, obviously. King, Schätzing, Murakami, Burroughs, Dante, Shakespeare, Bret Easton Ellis are only a few of my to go authors.

Favorite type of scene to write?

Introspection scenes (I'm shit at action scenes - they hate me and I hate them)

What is your favorite fanfic?

I love so many. My ereader is literally full of fanfictions I have saved and I regularly re-read like well-worn books - naming just the one would be doing a disservice to the others, really.

What tags do you avoid like the plague?

It sort of depends on the fandom and on the ship? I'm a curious and voracious reader so, I do end up reading a lot of weird and squicky stuff just because I do want to see how an author manages to pull it off.

The only tag I can think about avoiding across all fandoms and ships is "x character bashing*.

What AU do you wish to write but feel like you won’t manage?

I fucking love AUs and write a shitton of them; it feels comfortable to play around with the same characters with significant twists on their stories - though, I do feel like I wouldn't be able to write historical AUs. Mainly because the history nerd in me would get lost in research and never end up doing any writing.

What has been your favorite story to write so far?

I need to break this up in fandoms lol (look at me, cheating like there is no tomorrow):

Bond fandom: Blank Space - it was really fun and interesting to analyse the struggles of a writer as a writer (also, huge shoutout to the wonderful covers @spiritofcamelot made for me, you can check them out here x)

Gotham fandom: Apnoea - it's an unapologetically characters and family dynamics study, one of the most self indulgent things I ever wrote.

Do you prefer to write one-shots or multi-chapters? Why?

Definitely one-shots - if I have a longer story to tell, I usually collect them in series.

Recently, I've managed to complete my first long multi-chaptered fic and it was such a huge satisfaction but I would have never done it without the, for me unprecedented, turnout of comments and support.

Maybe I would like multi-chaptered fics more if they always got that kind of feedback? I don't know, honestly.

What is your favorite kind of comment?

I love all comments!!! Seriously, even just a heart or a "I liked this" give me a huge, huge boost.

Why did you start writing fanfiction? Why are you still writing it?

I have a very particular taste for what kind of content I enjoy; since I was a child, I always saw something that I did like in canon but that I couldn't help wanting to twist to fit me to perfection. In a way, fanfiction allows a writer to tailor the original content to their particular tastes - in some cases helping them to enjoy even more the original content.

Also, for me it's a very helpful way to put onto paper some hard things I deal with: it's not really in my nature to share, especially when I'm in pain, but I can put everything on the characters I'm playing with - it's catharsis (it's also why I write a lot of angst lol)

And frankly, you can't always fix disappointments in life but when it comes to fanfiction? You can do anything you want. Fuck canon. Death of the author is the best thing since sliced bread.

I'm tagging (if you want to do it, of course) @spiritofcamelot @trans-aziraphale @irisbleufic @dragonofmordor @happygoloony

[afewmarvelousthoughts]

Only For A Moment Ch. 12

Master List | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Summary: For most of your life you’d been able to keep your abilities a secret, that is until Hydra got wind of you. After years of being in their clutches, you break out when The Avengers expose SHIELD/Hydra. Since then, you’ve been on the run. Things are going as well as you could hope when you see a familiar face… Could the Winter Soldier really be in Bucharest too?

Warnings: Smoking (idk if anyone considers that a problem other than the obvious), mainly angsty fluff.

A/N: Look, we can all be insensitive fucks from time to time. That rings especially true when you’re dealing with your own issues. The most important thing is being able to self reflect and realize that we are focusing too hard on our own issues and trying to make things right. Supporting our fellow humans is a hard but worthy endeavor and I think that the journey to learning how to be a better partner, friend, advocate is a huge part of this story. As always I’m just immensely grateful for those of you who are reading and reaching out! Like I said before, reblogs are cool and all but tbh I just like engaging with my readers (so let’s chat) and y’all have totally done that. I love ya pumpkins! (Idk why, but this is one of my faves so far.)

Tags are open!

@bluegirlusa1 @l0kisbitch @tazzi-baby  @disagreetoagree@woodyandbuzz20-01 @mooniightbucky @soulless-and-sarcastic

Now, you want a cigarette. The last 24 hours have been far too much and you’re done. Bucky wasn’t wrong, you weren’t necessarily a habitual smoker but you were a ‘when you want one you need one’ kind of smoker. 

You walk to the newsstand across the street to snag a pack of cheap ones and a lighter. You cross back, tapping the pack against your left hand, the lighter held in your teeth. 

That first drag is almost as good as the first sip of coffee. Annoyingly you have noticed, as with drinking and caffeine, it takes so much more for it to really do anything than it used to. But the motion is still soothing in its own way. You take a long pull and look up at the blue sky puffing perfect smoke rings. 

The bell on the bookshop door tinkles and Bucky emerges. “If you’re going to tell me these will kill me I would really rather you keep it to yourself.”

“They will and I wasn’t,” he leans against the wall next to you, “I was going to ask for one.” You stare at him for a long second before proffering the pack. He takes one and before you can hand him the lighter he pulls a knock-off Zippo out and lights it. 

He drags hard, letting the smoke escape from his nose. You stare up at him and he looks down at you through the cloud, “Yes?”

“Just wondering why you gave me shit for smoking earlier, since you obviously do too,” you turn away inhaling and looking across the street. 

He snorts, twin plumes rise in your peripheral, “I gave you shit for smoking a pack a day or more when it’s clear you aren’t doing so because you need to.”

“So what you’re saying is,” you take a drag, “if I was an addict it would be fine.” 

“No,” he drops his to the ground, stamps it with his boot, and picks up the butt, all with the last vestiges of smoke curling out of his nose. He looks right at you, “But you wouldn’t be doing it for the sole purpose of hoping it would kill you.” He turns and tosses it in the nearby trash can. 

“Touche,” you tamp your cigarette against the brick wall and he gives you a half-hearted smile before heading back inside. 

Was I always this defensive? You wonder as you head to the trash can. Why does he keep asking me questions? Doesn’t he realize I don’t want to fucking remembe- Then it hits you and you grab the edge of the trash can groaning. 

You really have forgotten how to be a human. You don’t want to remember, you want to let the old versions of yourself, the battered child and the resilient woman, you want to let them both die in the pit of forgotten things and move on, void of a past. He does not. He cannot. He needs to remember, desperately needs to find that past version of himself. All his questions aren’t solely because he wants to know you, they’re also because he’s hoping you’ll ask back so he can get to know himself. 

You think back to how he lit up last night when you asked about Totonno’s, how that led him to another memory, how this morning through talking to you he remembered escorting those women to protect them. You, Y/N, are a complete and total asshole.

Back inside you smile at Mr. Goldstein and head to the storeroom. He’s sitting in his place, two more boxes on the floor back to the door. Not wanting to startle him you gently rap on the frame. “You know I heard you the moment you walked in right?” You wince a bit at his cold tone but, honestly, it’s the least you deserve. 

“How’d you know it was me?”

“The way you walk,” he sets the book he’s pulled out to the side, a collection of poetry in Romanian. 

“You couldn’t see me?”

“I could hear it,” you walk around him to reclaim your own spot, he still hasn’t looked at you, “hear how you set your foot down. You don’t put your heel down hard, mainly carry yourself forward on the balls of your feet,” he sets a book in its alphabetical pile. “Dancers and people who wear heels a lot walk like that. Good for being quiet, and moving quickly, shit if you want to have a solid footing.”

“That’s some hearing for a fragile old man,” that gets you a bemused look. “I don’t walk that way from excess heel wearing, I always hated heels, and I’m no dancer,” you start sorting your own box, handing him an author beginning in B. “I got used to sneaking around a lot as a kid and I guess it just stuck.”

“Why?” He asks this like he doesn’t expect an answer. 

“Mom had a series of assholes for boyfriends.” He looks at you, brows knitted. You shrug. “So, I learned to be quiet. I couldn’t always just float.”

“I figured.” You cock your head, “I just… I thought… they gave you this-“

“No,” you hover a book from the top of your box to your hands. “This has always been mine.” You spin the thick volume on your upturned palm. “It’s why they wanted me.” It falters and falls, “But they did make it… stronger? Or maybe just pushed me to use it more. Either way, I used to just be able to move medium-sized objects or use it to help move big ones. Came in handy moving a couch to a 4th-floor walk up.”

He snickers, “I bet.” The silence hangs. 

“So, do you have a favorite Shakespeare piece?” He looks at you hard for a second and you smile, Please just know I’m sorry, I’m so tired of saying it.

“I don’t think so,” he blankly studies the cover of a book. “I don’t remember reading many of his plays, I did take a girl to see one about this woman who was,” his eyes squint into the middle distance, reaching for that memory. “A harlot? No…”

“Taming of The Shrew?” 

“That’s it!” He pulls a little notepad from his back pocket and jots it down, you can’t help but smile. “I liked it.”

“I like that one too.”

“I thought you were a tragedies girl.”

You laugh, “Yeah but 10 Things I Hate About You is hands down my favorite romcom.” 

“What?” 

“Romcom. Romantic comedy.” He still looks confused. “Oh! It’s a movie, based on the play but set in a high school in the 90’s. I kind of hate most romance flicks but that one is an exception.” You realize he probably hasn’t seen many movies.

“I’ll have to watch that.”

“You should,” he hands you a stack of books for your piles, “It’s silly but good.”

He chuckles, “I like silly.”

“Yeah?”

“St- a friend and I would always go see Chaplin or the Marx brothers, stuff like that. We’d go to see pictures all the time, even if we had to sneak in,” he’s wearing that sad smile. He almost said a name, you aren’t sure if he’s worried it’s the wrong name or if he doesn’t want to share it… He laughs, eyes glassy, “Got caught sneaking into Duck Soup, we were 16 I think. We ran but he, my friend, fell behind, he had trouble breathing, so I had him get on my back,” his eyes crinkle. “God, we must have looked so ridiculous.” 

“Did you get away?”

There’s that incredible smile. “We did. By hiding in a dumpster,” he shakes his head, “that was Steve’s-“ he comes up short smile vanishing, takes a shaky breath, “his idea.”

You smile, “Clever.”

“He always was.” He’s so far away. “And so goddamn stubborn.” He’d said you had reminded him of someone when you were pitted against one another at the facility. You’re scared to ask but you swallow hard and go for it.

“This friend, was he the one I reminded you of? When… when we…” He looks at you, smile so tender it makes your chest contract. 

“Yeah,” his voice cracks a little and he clears his throat looking away. “He was… my best friend, my… family.” His left hand seizes into a fist, the metal whirrs in the silence and the glove strains to contain it’s secret. You reach over and lay a hand over the hard metal aching for his loss, too close to your own. 

He jerks his hand back and for a moment you’re a little hurt, then you see Mr. Goldstein approaching. “You kids are making good progress.” 

“Yessir,” Bucky responds, no sign of the previous emotions in his tone. He stands, grabbing his stacks. “Once we’ve finished these that’ll make six boxes.”

“Fantastic!” Mr. Goldstein claps his hands. Victor, the cat, lazily strolls in and rubs his face on Bucky’s legs. “Victor seems to approve too. I should have known you were good boys when he took to you, cats have a sense about people you know?”

You look at Victor, contentedly winding around Bucky’s feet, purring, “Yeah, they do.”

Mr. Goldstein nods. “Well once you two are done with those I’m closing up. Have afternoon Shabbat. Don’t forget to pick your books.” He turns and hobbles back to his perch in the front. 

Victor is still making his circuit around Bucky. He sets one handful of books on the desk and bends down to scratch the cat's ears. “I think your senses may be a little busted, bud,” he whispers. Victor only purrs louder. 

“Nope,” he looks up at you somewhat surprised, “Victor’s senses are just fine.”

[sarahreeese]

For the obscure character questions can you do Sarah

What’s their opinion of Shakespeare? Do they have a favorite play/sonnet? Sarah enjoys Shakespeare. While she wasn’t ever a huge fan of any analyzing of it, she appreciates most art and loves seeing his plays done professionally. Her favorite is Macbeth.

Are there any movies they can’t watch or songs they can’t listen to without crying? Things with parents in movies. So supportive parents, or people reconciling their relationships often gets to her, Dads especially when she was young. 

Do they keep a diary? If so, do they write long passages or mere sentences? Sarah doesn’t really believe in being sentimental in that way. She also hates pictures and prefers to express herself with drawings over words. Her memories when she was younger were nothing she wanted to keep.

Favorite comedian? Or, what is the peak of all humor in their opinion? I don’t know if Sarah has any favorite comedian, stand up isn’t really her thing, but she really likes comedy that has 4th wall breaks. So the Office, Parks and Rec, etc. 

What do they think of lonely back stairwells and dimly lit rooms and empty streets at night? When her anxiety isn’t acting up she likes most of those things, dimly lit rooms especially in her house. But all of those things are major anxiety triggers for her so she doesn’t typically enjoy them as much. Being in Waco for a few years helped her somewhat with that since it got her away from a big city. 

What was their biggest struggle in school? Probably socializing. She never had a lot of specifically academic struggles. She’s someone who can just pour herself into subjects and still figure it out, even if it’s not something she enjoys doing. But she was a big loner in high school, mostly being polite, but never creating any long term connections. Kind of like Med.

Strangest or seemingly most irrelevant fascination that is never truly explained in canon but keeps recurring (think Sam Winchester’s fascination with serial killers, Ragnar Lothbrok’s affinity for goats, Jim Moriarty’s hidden magpies and foxes, etc.)? She really enjoys collecting  like rare or old things related to her hobbies. So she has the bubonic plague slide that Joey gave her, and first edition copies of books and sheet music. She doesn’t have a lot of it, but she enjoys the history behind it. 

What is the oldest and/or most special item they own–who gave it to them? Oldest item would be the plague slide that Joey gave to her, oldest to her is the necklace she wore in season 1. Her mom gave it to her in middle school.

Movie, TV show, or book they would never admit to liking? Sarah has seen almost every SyFy original show that has been made. She doesn’t admit it because she kind of feels like it tips her into like the extreme nerd with questionable tastes category.

Who is their favorite parent? Favorite sibling? Why? Her mom because she isn’t a probable serial killer, and she’s an only child.

What do they do at three in the morning when they’re alone? Draw or read, and listen to music. 

Opinion on Christmas music? Fucking loves it. Sarah and her mom used to do Christmas Eve and Day in New York City so the old like jazzy Christmas music reminds her of the big tree at Rockefeller Center and shopping on Christmas Eve with her mom.

Do they believe any conspiracy theories or urban legends, regardless of how levelheaded or “normal” they may be? It depends on the conspiracy and evidence.

Celebrity death that hit them the hardest? She was never really emotionally involved in celebrity deaths, but she really loved Amy Winehouse’s music and that hit her pretty hard.

Do they mismatch their socks? By accident or on purpose? No, she wraps her socks into balls when she put them in the laundry so they almost never lose their match. 

Are they paranoid about anything? Yes, many things. That’s what anxiety does to someone.  

Favorite article of clothing? Yale sweatshirt. It’s soft and worn in and Ava steals it so it smells like her. 

Do they have any specific unpopular opinions? For example, does your character hate the Beatles but like Nickleback? Do they think pancakes are disgusting? Sarah really doesn’t like anything extremely sweet. Part of this was her mother’s doing and part of it is Sarah’s obsessiveness with her body and weight. Part of her recovery from her ed has been with controlling what she eats and drinks. And she never really had a craving so sugar so she cut it out.

How well do they know their family history? Do they care? She knows next to nothing from either side. Her dad wasn’t in her life and didn’t tell her much about his past. And her mom’s parents died before Sarah was born, and her mom doesn’t know much either.

Favorite decade for music, fashion, art, etc. (if information about this particular timeline is known)? Sarah definitely enjoys the glamour from the 20s and 30s. That sleek suit era, and more masculine/shapeless clothing. It also had art deco and the modernist movement and the Harlem Renaissance.

Are they particularly political or religious, even if this does not appear in the story? Sarah is very liberal. She grew up on the East Coast in Connecticut, a very blue state, raised by a very liberal single mother. And she’s only become more so since she’s gotten older. 

What would your character think of you if they met you? I don’t think she’d have any opinion?

[lasersheith]

Lasersheith’s Fic Masterlist

Thanks so much to everyone who reads/likes/comments on/shares my stuff, it means the world to me!

Finished works

AU:

Take It If You Want It | Complete | Ch.13/13 | 57k | M

Tags: Modern AU, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, fluff, light angst with a happy ending, pining, irresponsible use of alcohol, side pairing: Mattor, side pairing: Allurance, side pairing: Hidge

Written for Sheith Big Bang 2018!

Keith and Hunk make New Year’s Resolutions to finally tell their respective crushes how they’ve felt for years. Hunk takes all of 3 minutes, but Keith needs… a little longer.

Birthday mishaps, misunderstandings, self discovery, exciting new job opportunities, minor blackmail… a lot can happen in a year. Surely the perfect moment for a years-overdue love confession fits in there somewhere?

Serendipity’s Wings | Complete | Ch.7/7 | 24k | E

Tags: Modern AU, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, bedsharing, fluff, hurt/comfort, pining Shiro, sidepairing: Allura/Kuro, Shirogane twins

When Shiro receives bad news about his grandfather, he immediately books a flight for Japan. Luckily for him, he finds a familiar face in the pilot. It's been a long time since he saw his childhood friend Keith, but they pick up where they left off almost immediately.

Unluckily, his twin brother has decided to jump to conclusions, and now his family thinks he and Keith have rekindled a flame that was never there. Rather than disappoint them in a tense moment, Keith gamely agrees to play along. What are friends for, after all?

Oh Brother | Complete | Ch. 6/6 | 17k | T

Tags: Modern AU, fluff, humor, salt, sidepairing Matt/Allura, one-sided kl

What do you do when your boyfriend is in the hospital and they only let in immediate family? Lie and say you’re married? Not if you’re Keith, you don’t. Thanks to Keith’s inner turmoil, he and Shiro are stuck pretending to be brothers while he recovers. But Keith has to admit, “Mr. Shirogane” has a nice ring to it. 

The Gravitas of a Mattress | Complete | Ch. 7/7 | 16k | M

Tags: College AU, fluff, humor, oh my god they’re banging each other’s roommates, sidepairing Latte

From the prompt: My roommate got it on with yours yesterday and I don’t think I can face them for a while after hearing the sounds they made last night. Mind if I stayed with you for a while?

Keith gets sexiled from his dorm room because Matt and Lance won't stop hate-fucking. He decides that it's only fair that he gets to crash in Matt's room if Matt gets to keep him out of his own. Shiro is confused but accommodating. Very accommodating.

Matt and Lance have their own fun side adventure in learning to like each other and play nice. Pidge doesn't like it. Allura might.

Flowers don’t always mean “I love you” | Complete | Ch. 8/8 | 14k | T

Tags: Flowershop AU, Slow Burn, pining Shiro, PTSD, fluff, humor

Takashi Shirogane had fulfilled his dream of becoming a test pilot, but after a terrible accident that left him without an arm and in sudden need of a new career, he moves back home and starts working at a family friend’s flower shop while he focuses on recovering and finding a new direction for his life.

Things are going as well as can be expected until an attractive stranger shows up out of the blue, and keeps coming back. Who's this guy buying all these flowers for?

DDY 1138 | Complete | Ch. 3/3 | 7.2k | T | My favorite thing I’ve ever written

Tags: Modern AU, fluff, humor, meet ugly, disaster gay Shiro, smooth Keith

alternate title: Have you ever seen a man so beautiful you crashed your car?

Shiro learns that it's possible for the best day of your life to coincide with the worst day of your life in the dumbest way possible. He gets into a fender bender due to some distracted driving, and his cute mechanic doesn't make things any easier... until he does.

Hat Trick | Complete | Ch. 2/2 | 6.5k | E

Tags: Modern AU, Frat AU, Frat boy Shiro, Frat boy Keith, light angst with a happy ending, humor, crack played straight

No one has ever seen Takashi Shirogane without a hat on his head, or so the legends say.

...

“I tell you what,” Matt said after Keith told him he'd figure out Shiro's secret, the real secret. “If you find out the true story behind Shiro's hat before your initiation ceremony, I will personally pay your dues until you graduate.”

Keith's eyes glinted as he took another long swing from his beer. The steep price of brotherhood had been one of the few reasons he'd been wary about pledging. “What if I don't?” He asked suspiciously. It hadn't taken long to work out that Matt was an agent of chaos. No matter how confident he was in himself, he had to make sure it was worth the risk.

Matt smirked. “You have to wear a Santa hat to the Christmas party.”

Keith furrowed his brows. The punishment didn't add up with Matt’s smug look. His face paled as the realization dawned on him. “Just the hat?”

Matt's smirk shifted into an impish grin. “I knew you were a smart one.” He said with a wink, sticking out his hand. “Do we have a bet, then?”

Never one to back down from a challenge, Keith took Matt's hand and pumped it twice with determination. “You're on.”

Hey Sugar | Complete | Ch. 4/4 | 5k | G | I’m gonna rewrite this one soon rip

Tags: College AU, fluff, humor, pining Shiro, disaster gay Shiro

Autocorrect can be a beautiful thing. It can also be a Very Bad Thing. Keith accidentally sends a text with an embarrassing autocorrect to the hot guy he's been crushing on all semester.

Check Yes Juliet | Complete | Ch. 2/2 | 2.8k | T

Tags: College AU, fluff, humor, mistaken identity, Shirogane twins

Who knew a little Shakespeare knowledge could get you a midnight kiss from the hottest guy at the New Years party? However, young men’s love then lies not truly in their hearts, but in their eyes... Just ask Keith.

Melt | Complete | Ch. 1/1 | 1.4k | G

Tags: AU modern setting or Post-canon, domestic fluff, established relationship

It's way too hot outside, and the AC is busted. Short and sweet domestic fluff featuring Spot the fluffy wonder and a trip to the store for some much needed ice cream.

Canon-Verse:

The way you looked at me | Complete | 17k | M

Tags: Amnesia, crack played straight, one sided fake dating, shiro is a mess, humor, fluff

Keith wakes up in the hospital and he's not sure of much, except that he and Shiro are definitely together. Shiro doesn't have the heart to correct him- much to their friends' amusement.

It’s not you, it’s me (also it’s you) | Complete | Ch. 3/3 | 7.5k | T

Tags: Canon-verse, pre-kerberos mission, humor, miscommunication, disaster gay Shiro, Matt is a Bad Friend

Keith catches Shiro doodling hearts in his notebook. When asked who the hearts are for, he blurts out Matt's name so he won't have to confess his feelings for Keith. Now Keith has made it his mission to help Shiro woo Matt at all costs. Matt is very unhelpful.

The Sweetest Apology | Complete | Ch. 1/1 | 2.3k | Gen

Tags: College AU, fluff, humor

Everyone hates those tiny little desks every college feels the need to cram into huge lecture halls- they're way too small and there's never enough of the left handed ones. Keith thinks he scored big time getting the only left handed desk in his new class, but didn't realize he'd be stealing it from a classmate who's missing his right arm... How do you even apologize for that?

Not the right time | Complete | Ch. 1/1 | 2.3k | T

Tags: Canon-verse, angst

fic request: Sheith and "It is always not the right time for us, isn't it?"

They've had so many chances to tell each other how they feel, but for Shiro and Keith it just never seems to be the right time.

Ringing in my ears and one on my finger | Complete | Ch. 1/1 | 1.5k | T

Tags: soulmates, shiro is trying, fluff, humor

Canonverse soulmate AU: Colleen notices a soulmark on Shiro's finger... 

Head over heels | Complete | Ch. 1/1| 1.5k | G

Tags: Canon-verse, established relationship, fluff, humor

Keith's lost an entire Saturday to detention because Iverson is jerk. What better way to get revenge than a practical joke?

from the prompt "Shiro getting caught up in Keith pranking Iverson"

With a little help from my friends | Complete | Ch.1/1 | 1.4k | G

Tags: Canon-verse, pre-relationship, everyone loves Shiro, thirsty Keith

A malfunction in the engine room has left the castle a sweltering nightmare. Hunk has deemed it time for a team underwear party, but Shiro's nervous about his scars. His friends help him feel a little better.

p=mv | Complete | Ch. 1/1 | 1.4k | T

Tags: Canon-verse, humor, meet ugly

The story of how Keith and Shiro met at the Garrison.

Or, the first time Keith saved Shiro.

Or, how a concussion led Shiro to the love of his life.

Or maybe it was all 3.

Love, Shiro | Complete | Ch. 1/1 | 1.3k | G

Tags: Canon-verse, fluff, established relationship, humor, kerberos mission

Shiro and Keith decide to write each other letters while Shiro is away on his mission. This is a collection of some of Shiro's.

Getting there | Complete | Ch. 1/1 | 1.3k | T

Tags: Canon-verse, hurt/comfort, Shiro whump, fluff

A lot of things changed in the year they were separated, but Keith's feelings aren't one of them. Shiro needs a little convincing after everything that's happened, especially with how much of an obvious physical toll it's taken. Keith is happy to oblige.

Just In Case | Complete | Ch. 1/1 | 1k | G

Tags: Canon-verse, humor, fluff, established relationship, pre-kerberos mission

Shiro is accidentally late for a morning inspection because he spent too long snuggled up with Keith. His commander isn't super thrilled about it. 

Series: It’s killing me when you’re away | Complete | Works 4/4 | 4.8k | T

Tags: Canon-verse, Keith’s time in the desert, angst, pre-kerberos mission

Keith’s devastated over losing Shiro

Tumblr Drabbles

Sheith Month 2018 | Canonverse Pre-Kerberos | 20k | G-T

My collection of prompt fills for Sheith Month 2018. All of them are pre-kerb fluff and/or humor!

As Many Drabbles As It Takes | Mix of settings | 10k | Ch. 14/? | M

Collection of sheith drabbles and prompt fills originally posted on Tumblr!

Posted WIPS:

Series: Easier with you | Ongoing | Works 6/? | 15k | M

Tags: Modern AU, Veteran Shiro, Veteran Keith, hurt/comfort, PTSD, Mutual Pining, Shiro Whump, Shiro & Matt, Allura/Matt,

Shiro's just returned back from the military, having been medically discharged from service after losing his arm. Matt is his best friend and is trying his best to help him deal with the loss. He convinces Shiro to go to a VA support group that will end up changing his life.

Best laid plans | Ongoing | Ch. 1/? | 2.3k | T

Tags: Canon-verse, crack, humor, fluff

Was Keith proud of the fact that petty revenge was his first thought upon being given an amazing stealth suit? Not particularly. But was he going to let that stop him from enacting said petty revenge? Absolutely not. Turns out, Karma isn't so much a bitch as a… well, you'll see.

Or, how to attempt to counter-prank your buddy and end up stuck as a cat, a memoir by Keith Kogane.

We’ll fix it in post | Ongoing | Ch.1/? | 2k | T

Tags: Modern AU, Barista Keith, humor, mistaken identity, Shirogane Twins

Shiro is a producer on the hit animated show "Voltron: Warden of the Cosmos" and a huge fan of it himself. Keith is a new barista at the coffee shop across from his studio and a lover of his show. A fortuitous meeting leads them on the path to romance, but there's just one problem: Keith thinks Shiro is his brother, Ryou, voice actor for Keith's favorite character on the show.

[talistheintrovert]

tag rules: answer all questions, add one question of your own, and tag as many people as there are questions

Tagged by @el-corazon-y-la-cabeza Thanks hun! :)

1. Coke or pepsi: Coke

2. Disney or dreamworks: Disney

3. Coffee or tea: Both

4. Books or movies: Both

5. Windows or Mac: Windows

6. DC or marvel: Both (Let’s pretend the DC movies don’t exist, except Wonder Woman) When I say both, I geniunely mean the comics. 

7. Xbox or PlayStation: Xbox

8. Dragon age or mass effect: Mass Effect.

9. Night owl or early riser: Night owl. I don’t need a lot of sleep.

10. Cards or chess: Cards... but I do love chess.

11. Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate

12. Vans or converse: Converse.

13. Lavellan , Trevelyan, Cadash or Adaar: Lavellan, because wandering the wilderness is pretty dope.

14. Fluff or angst: Angst! (but with a happy ending, because I did not go through all that heartache for nothing, ya hear me???)

15. Beach or forest: Forest. I love the beach, but I’m less likely to be surrounded by obnoxious people in the forest.

16. Dogs or cats: Dogs. I’m allergic to cats (but I still love them)

17. clear skies or rain: RAIN, ALWAYS.

18. cooking or eating out: Cooking. I love it, and while I’m not a master chef, I’m pretty decent at it. 

19. spicy food or mild food: I crave spicy once in a while but I usually go mild out of habit.

20. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: Halloween.

21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: too cold. I hate feeling hot. Even a little too hot would kill me. I start melting at 23 degrees celsius. 

22. If you could have any superpower, what would it be? Superspeed would be pretty good, because it’s multi-purpose, but I’d quite like to have Mystique’s powers (morphing to look like whatever I want) because I think it would be fascinating. 

23. animation or live action: Live Action, but I like animation too.

24. paragon or renegade: Paragon, I struggle to pick the mean option even in video games 😂 I feel too guilty 

25. baths or showers: Showers, but I do love a good bath, I just never seem to have the time. 

26. team cap or team iron man: Urggggh, depends on comics or movies, because it’s different, but I’m just gonna say BOTH.

27. fantasy or sci-fi: Sci-fi

28. Do you have three or four favorite quotes? if so what are they: I collect quotes and lyrics like some people collect stamps, but I’ll try and stick to 4:

• “Doors are for people with no imagination.” - Skulduggery Pleasant.

• "We’re all stories in the end, just make it a good one, eh?” - Doctor Who

•"Which of all my important nothings shall I tell you first?” - Jane Austen

• "Eat shit and live, Bill.” - Sleepaway Camp (yes this one is silly, but it makes me laugh every time)

29. netflix or youtube: Netflix

30. harry potter or percy jackson: Harry Potter, because I wouldn’t be the person I am today without it, but I do love Percy Jackson.

31. when you feel accomplished: When someone notices something I’ve been quietly proud of, without me having to point it out. It just reminds me that I’m not doing things for no reason, and it’s nice. 

32. star wars or star trek: Ah fuck. Um.... can I say both? I’m gonna say both. 

33. paperback or hardback: Paperback, because I travel a lot and hardbacks take up so much room.

34. horror or rom-com: Horror all the way - I am a Hitchcock movie bitch. But I do love a good rom-com, so I guess it really depends on my mood. 

35. tv shows or movies: TV shows

36. spotify or pandora: Spotify

37. zootopia or inside out: Inside Out

38. favorite book: Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen.

or, The Book Thief - Marcus Zusak (if I feel like crying my eyes out)

39. favorite flower: Blue Orchids

40. what field of study are you in (or aspire to be in): Writing!

41. song lyric you really love? There are SO MANY, but right now, because I’m writing Set The Dark On Fire, and listening to the playlist I made for it, probably:

“I'm only honest when it rains,

An open book with a torn out page,

And my ink's run out.” - Neptune, Sleeping At Last

42. what’s your MBTI type? INFJ (which is apparently the rarest one, so, like, yay me???)

43. fave movie: I can’t choose just one: Rear Window (1954), Clue (1985), 12 Angry Men (1957), The Princess Bride (1987), Sleepaway Camp (1983), The Way Way Back (2013) and Seven Psychopaths (2012) but there are loads more; I am trying to restrain myself.

44. favorite tv show(s): The 100, Doctor Who (pre-Capaldi), Misfits, Lie To Me, Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries, Buffy, Firefly, Community, Brooklyn 99, Black Books, Mighty Boosh, Star Trek (all iterations, I’m a huge nerd, don’t @ me),  OUAT, Gilmore Girls, Lucifer, Grimm, Spaced, and many, many more.

45. top three authors: Jane Austen, Agatha Christie, William Shakespeare.

46. favorite season? Autumn, but Winter is a close second. 

47. favorite high school musical? The third, followed by one and then two. The music in two is amazing, but the storyline just didn’t do it for me. (it wasn’t brave enough to just LET CHAD AND RYAN BE OPENLY GAY FOR EACH OTHER, DAMMIT!)

48. silver or gold? Silver

49. favorite food? Something with roast potatoes and gravy. 

50. dream vacation? Copenhagen, Florence, Amsterdam - just travelling through those places and enjoying the ambiance. 

51. last dream you remember? I'm pretty stressed about going to uni in two weeks time, and last night I had what started out as a stress dream where I moved into the uni accommodation, and no-one liked me or wanted me to be there, and I didn’t have a roommate. Then halfway through the dream it took a turn and Diyoza and Murphy showed up as my roommates (oh my god they were roommates), and I was suddenly having the best fucking time ever. I didn’t want it to end. 

52. city or country: Country, I think, although close enough to a city that I still have phone signal

53. Slow burn or love at first sight: Slow burn.

54. Night on the town with friends or night in with friends? I would pick a night in - I love snuggling up on the couch with my friends eating junk food and adding running commentary to the movies we watch. 

There’s no way I can tag 54 people. No pressure to do this.💕 @fen-ha-fuck-you @clarkgriffon @youleftme-clarke @clarkegriffintitties @jordanjaspermcgreen @ehmori @asroarke @jmbelles @foreverandalwayscrysis @the-best-damn-mechanic @bellamyshope @loveisalwayswise @mamabearsdontthink @whatever-thehellwe-want @bellarkesgodson @grumpybell @rebelkingandhistraitorprincessxx @cloakedtandy @clarkeisalive @bellarkes-hope @the-most-beautiful-broom @bellamy-fucking-blake @hostagetakerandhistraitor @blueshirtbell @nerdybellamy @octannibal-blake @forever-is-made-of-nows @amesandjake @madigriffen @sunnyemori @raven-fucking-reyes and anyone else who wants to join it! (also I’m sorry if you’ve already done this, I’ve only just had time to get to it, just ignore me) 

[vadianna]

From a Certain Point of View

I read this while I was on vacation, and Tumblr (or my shitty phone, or my spotty cell reception) ate almost every single one of my short posts about it.  So here’s an abridged commentary, still very long, because there are forty stories.

- I thought this was a short story collection, not realizing it was ANH retold through the POV of 40 (mostly) minor characters.  Which is a cool idea (GREAT idea, actually, I love narratives like this and it’s a cool thing for the 40th anniversary), but I’ve read two other ANH novelizations this year, one of them twice because it was boring and I kept falling asleep. So I was a little less excited when I realized that.

- I loved that Ken Liu had a story in here, and that it was about a woman who saved lives with the most tedious kind of bureaucratic red tape and paperwork in the galaxy.  A+ would read a novel about this amazing woman.

- I didn’t really enjoy the story about the female Sand Person trying to escape the Sand Person patriarchy.  Aside from that, it read to me like a really detailed middle section of a story without a beginning or end.  I did like the Sand Person swearing, though.

- THE STORY ABOUT THE RED PROTOCOL DROID.  WAS THAT NECESSARY???  Like, it had that ending where the droid was okay, but that almost didn’t fit in with the rest of it.  HOLY SHIT THAT WAS DEPRESSING I loved it everything about it was utterly evil.

- I actually do like that Sand Person culture came up a couple times, though I enjoyed the “Rites” story a little less with the knowledge that Sand People are sexist.  But the slaying of a krayt dragon was cool, as was the perspective on the attack on Luke and what Obi-Wan did to fool them.

- I was excited by the inclusion of a story from Beru’s POV, but she was sort of reduced to a stereotype - her commentary just kept repeating the same thing about blue milk and how she was good at making blue milk cheese.  Uh.

- These stories about the cantina were less exciting to me because I JUST read Tales from the Mos Eisley Cantina, so, like, we were going over the same ground again.  But I wound up liking them, and one of my favorite things was that the Rodian and Bith stories had a contradicting account of what happened.

- Also, Greedo was weirdly critical of Luke’s fashion sense.

- Let me tell you how happy it makes me that Figrin D’an is a bust out no matter what continuity you’re following.

- These stories referred to Chewbacca as Han’s bodyguard more than once, which I thought was interesting.

- A lesbian couple runs the cantina at night.  Thank you.

- The Kloo Horn Cantina Caper was great, I loved it, I loved how everyone kept screwing each other over.  Also, I love Kelly Sue DeConnick.

- Fuck not only do I like that they covered the added Jabba scene, but this story is from Boba Fett’s POV, and it’s hilarious.  I hate Boba Fett, and this is exactly how I would have written him, honestly.  If he had to be in here, this is acceptable, and that’s saying something.  I hate Boba Fett.

- The Secrets of Long Snoot might have been one of my favorite stories.  Thank you, Delilah S. Dawson.  Long Snoot is so delightfully alien.

- Born in the Storm, which follows it, is another absolute favorite.  The kiss-off report that is also the story of a pure love that a Stormtrooper has for dewbacks.

- I was not ready for the bitchy interactions between Tagge and Motti, nor for Tagge’s thoughts on Krennic.  

- Also, I enjoyed that Tagge was shocked when the Emperor dissolved the Senate, because he found it to be a useful bureaucratic tool.  “Show a man a blaster, and he looked for a way to take it for himself and turn it on you.  Tell a man he can fight in court, and nine times out of ten he’ll disappear just to avoid the tediousness.”

- This book’s acknowledgement of bureaucratic stalling techniques is beautiful.

- I also howled all the way through Motti’s petty incident report about being Force-choked even though he was right.

- There was a second person story, which was awesome, but not really my thing.  Save for where the second person narrator is shocked when Leia tells Tarkin he stinks.

- Eclipse.  Again, WAS THIS NECESSARY??????????  Thanks I have to think about this all the time now.  Honestly, I’m really weirdly into any story like this, but because I’m a bad person Krennic at the end of the Rogue One novelization may always be my favorite.

- Pablo Hidalgo hooks us up with the Tarkin/Krennic pettiness we crave with a beautiful flashback to Scarif and somewhat excessive thoughts of Krennic as Tarkin goes about the business of destroying Alderaan.  There’s also that ass-kissing scene with Motti, and honestly, if this book did nothing else but make me realize how ridiculous Motti is, that’s fine.

- AND THEN AND THEN there’s another flashback to Krennic on Scarif (see above: I love this shit), where, instead of his dying thoughts being of Galen Erso, they are petty thoughts about how Tarkin will hang himself and Krennic is definitely right, and honestly that’s almost as good.  Especially since Tarkin was literally having the opposite thoughts in the previous scene.  God damn.  Yes.

- I wondered what Jeffrey Brown’s contribution would be.  I am fine with this.  Thank you, Jeffrey Brown.

- People I love, real and fictional: Kieron Gillen.  Doctor Aphra.  YES.

- Of MSE-6 and Men

- Of MSE-6 and Men

- OF MSE-6 AND MEN

- WHAT THE FUCK

- DID I JUST READ TARKIN/TK-421 FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF A MOUSE DROID.

- THERE IS NO QUESTION MARK BECAUSE I ABSOLUTELY DID.

- I LIVE.

- The Baptist was really awesome, and I was not expecting a story from the perspective of the Dianoga.  It was great, thank you.

- Anyone who reads this far probably doesn’t know this about me, but I love aliens unconditionally, and this type has a third gender and (if I’m remembering right) they can biologically change whenever they want, and that’s even better.

- I didn’t want to like the Obi-Wan Kenobi story, but I did, and that’s that.  I am a huge fan of unusual narrative devices.

- I’m gonna give a big No to the Yoda story, though.

- And a big Yes to the Palpatine one, because I’m me.  I was a bit wary of his inclusion (along with Qui-Gon Jinn and Yoda and the others), but I couldn’t place Ian Doescher’s name until I read it and Oh Yes William Shakespeare’s Verily, A New Hope.  Yes.  This is Fine.

- One or more of these pilot stories kept making a big thing about Jek Porkins being a fat dude, and I hated it.  He should have had his own story, at least to balance that out, but also because he clearly has the best name.

- Again, the Biggs story: WAS THAT NECESSARY?????

- I liked that one of the stories was from a doomed mechanic’s perspective.  Really liked it.  But again, the story itself wasn’t so much my thing.

- There was one nearly incomprehensible story at the end that I sincerely hope ties into Rebels somehow, because otherwise... what?

- I won’t lie, I listened to Tom Angleberger’s RotJ novelization, and his juvenile jokes (not in a derogatory sense, he writes juvenile literature) made me laugh way harder than they should have.  I was really looking forward to his story, and I was not disappointed.  He definitely still has kind of a kid’s cast to his writing, but it’s still funny to me.  It’s the simple things.  I like it.

[snowkatze]

Unfairly Beautiful

This fic is dedicated to the anon who said that the kind of date they’d take me on is one in the book store and then the coffee shop. Genre: fluff (@4wksoffluff ^.^) Word Count: 3315 Summary: After Baz accidentally reveals his feelings for Simon, they go on a date. Problem is, Baz has never taken someone on a date before.

I wish I was able to say right now that I have absolutely got the hang of this, but the truth is that I'm not half as smug as I act. Of course I pretend I've gone on a hundred dates before and that I'm a master at this, but really, I have no clue what I'm doing. The worst part is that he knows how this works, he's good at this, he's better at this than I am. After all, he's had a girlfriend before. And I'm new to this. I'm a raw recruit. (I'm afraid I'll disappoint him. Or rather, myself.)

But this is important because it is supposed to convince him that there should be a second date. And many more dates and hand-holding and kissing and... whatever. Should I take his hand right now? Would that be coming on too strong? I don't want to scare him off. Then again, it's just a hand, for Crowley's sake. I carefully let my fingers brush against his.

We're on our way to the book store and he tells me something about what happened to Bunce this morning, but I'm only half listening. The other half is freaking out right now. Obviously, I'm not letting it show, but one half of my brain thinks about what he says and the other half shouts “HOLY SHIT”, repeatedly, and followed by the odd “FUCK I'M ON A DATE WITH SIMON SNOW”. Honestly, what the fuck is happening. Part of me thinks I'm having hallucinations.

Okay, Baz. Collect yourself. If you're doing this, you need to be fully present. Just concentrate on the date. Concentrate on Simon.

Is he even going to like it at the book store? What the hell was I thinking, taking Simon Snow to a date in a book store? I just panicked and thought about a place that relaxes me. A familiar environment. He's going to hate this date, isn't he? He gave me a shot, one shot, and I ruin it. Of course.

I think that maybe he's just pulling my leg. Or maybe I've gone crazy. Last week, Simon Snow looked so stunning, and perhaps I just went mad looking at him. Wouldn't be all that surprising, to be honest.

I sat on my bed, reading a book, when suddenly, I heard the door open. I lifted my head and saw Snow standing in the door way. I felt my breath catch in my throat.

“Have – Have you gotten a new sweater?” “Huh? Oh. Yeah. Penny picked it for me.” Fucking Bunce. And his hair. What was up with his hair today? I couldn't stop staring at him. So, what? Now that we're almost-friends, all my self-control has jumped out of the window?! I put the book down, but kept my gaze on his face. It made me almost angry. What gave him the right to show up in our room, looking so fucking beautiful?

“Baz?”

He gave me a weird look. Because, yes, in that moment, I was losing my mind, a little bit. And maybe I had been slacking. Since we were on a truce, I'd allowed myself way too often to enjoy myself. I'd forgotten where the lines were. I'd forgotten that I wasn't allowed to shamelessly admire Snow.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” And then he came closer to me because he has no discretion or sense for self-preservation whatsoever. And my mouth had gone dry, and my brain had killed itself along with my self-control, and as a result I couldn't form any coherent words. Or, well, I guess they were coherent, but not logical or sensible.

I wanted to shout at him and get angry for being so freaking attractive, but when I finally spoke, my voice came out soft.

“Because I would really like to kiss you right now.”

And then I kept staring at him, with glassy eyes, because I'm an idiot. Only when he said: “What!?” I snapped out of it. Thanks for coming back, brain, you're only ten seconds and one self-destructive sentence too late. All that you can do now is write my testament, you useless thing.

Simon recoiled and I jumped up. He looked at me like he was afraid of me, like I was about to Turn him or rip off his head or – maybe that's just what he looked like when he thought I was about to kiss him. Moron. As if I'd ever kiss him. Not even when I was completely out of my senses. I'm not suicidal, after all.

Then he turned around and slammed the door shut. My heart was beating fast and I fell back on the bed, thinking that this time, I'd truly fucked up.

Snow doesn't react to my hand against his, but it might just be because he's too self-absorbed, not because he's ignoring me. So I decide to just go for it, and intertwine his fingers with mine. For one anxious moment, he doesn't respond, but then he wraps his fingers around my hand and keeps talking, as if nothing had happened. Nothing has happened. Except for Simon Snow holding my hand, holy shit.

I'm afraid my palm will start sweating, even though it rarely does. It's ridiculous, but I fear that Snow will decide that he'll never hold my hand again. (And as pathetic as it sounds, most of the reason why I resent that thought is because his touch makes me feel alive, not because it'd hurt my feelings.)

Finally, I spot the sign of the little second-hand shop.

“There it is,” I exclaim and pull Simon with me into the shop. See, the problem is that I hadn't actually planned further ahead than this. What do I do, now that I'm in a book store on a date with the boy I've been in love with for almost eight years?

But then, suddenly, Snow turns to me and sends me a smile that makes my heart clench.

“This is so you, Baz. I think I always imagined a date with you involved books.”

“You imagined me on a date?” “Uhm. Yeah. Well. I guess I just wondered whether you ever had a girlfriend.” Idiot. Of course he didn't imagine himself on a date with you. So, I don't push it. I just tighten my grip around his hand. Somehow, it steadies me and I take a deep breath to clear my head.

“So,” I smirk. “What kind of books does the Chosen One read?” He shoots me an insecure glance.

“I, um, don't exactly read much.” “What?!” “Christ, Baz, don't look at me like I just murdered your child. I just don't have much time, you know, between slaying monsters and school and all...” “Well, reading is important. Knowledge is power, Snow. How are you going to take over the world if you have never read Shakespeare or, I don't know, 'A Brief History of Time' by Stephen Hawking?”

He giggles. “Of course you think you'd need bloody Shakespeare to take over the world. Anyway, if you're going to keep calling me the Chosen One, you can't expect me to have any evil takeover plans. That's like, the part of the supervillain. I'm supposed to stop you.”

“See, you do know about literature.”

“Or about bad superhero movies. Does that make you happy?” “It's a start.”

When Snow smiles, the corners of his eyes crinkle and his cheeks get dimples and his eyes light up – it's a vivid spectacle. One he hasn't shown me that often.

The ceiling of the store is rather low, and the shelves take up all the room. The books are old and broken, but I prefer this store to regular ones. For one, there are never many people here. Usually, there are only one or two people beside me. Also, these books seem familiar. Their dusty look and weird smell reminds me of home.

To me, this store is like a hiding place. A refuge, far away from reality.

I guess I should've thought more about bringing Simon here. About the fact that he could never understand what this place means to me.

“So, what are we doing here?” “Buying books, obviously.”

He still hasn't let go of my hand. I tug him down the aisle.

“Let's make it a game.”

“What game?” “Like a contest. Who can find the most ridiculous book title?”

“What?” “Come on, Snow. Most of these books are the trash that people didn't want any more. I'm sure we'll find some good stuff.”

“Okay, then. It's on.”

Unfortunately, he lets go of my hand, so we can walk in different directions. We spend a few minutes searching, before meeting again.

“Alright, let me start,” Snow says and holds up a book. 'How to Avoid Huge Ships'. “Very useful,” I remark. “But not as useful as this.” I show him 'the Manly Art of Knitting'.

“Hm, I'll give you that one. But I also found some for you. Here.” He gives me 'The Practical Pyromaniac'. I glare at him. Fine. Two can play this game.

“Funny, Snow, because I also found some very fitting ones for you.” Then, I hand him 'How to Raise Your I.Q. by Eating'. He snickers.

“If you figured out how to do this, I think you could even outsmart Bunce.”

“Fine, but I think I can beat you on that one,” he says and holds up 'Eating People is Wrong'. Fuck him.

“'Everything I Want to Do Is Illegal'.” “There's a book called like that?” He laughs and my anger washes away. Until he shows me his last book. 'Fancy Coffins To Make Yourself'.

I can't believe him.

“Thought you might need it.”

I raise my head, gather some dignity and say: “'Anybody Can Be Cool.'” Then I take a pause for dramatic tension. I lower my gaze.

“'...but Awesome Takes Practise.'” I shove the book in Snow's face. He bursts out laughing.

“Okay, fine, you win. What now?” “Now we go and find the ugliest cover.”

Which goes well, until I show him the cover of Twilight and he says: “But... Baz! That's your life story!”

I role my eyes. I shouldn't have brought him here. I should've known he would just keep making stupid vampire jokes at me.

I can't remember the last time I ever laughed so much. (I can't remember if I ever laughed so much.) Eventually, we sink down next to each other and just sit on the floor. Simon turns his head and gives me the tiniest smile. I can't help but beam at him. (Beam? Really, Baz? Contain yourself. But I can't. I can't stop it. I think I feel almost – could it be? Am I really – Am I happy? Damn.)

I reach out my hand and Snow takes it and I can't believe that I'm sitting in a smelly book store next to a cute guy who holds my hand. No, not just a cute guy. Next to Simon Snow. The guy with the destiny girlfriend who was supposed to kill me some day. He's here. With me. It seems so unreal and unlikely. The only thing keeping me on the ground is the soft squeeze of his fingers. And I know that he's real.

“I actually do have a favourite book, you know,” he says now, softly.

“Tell me about it,” I answer and start tracing circles on the back of his hand.

“Okay, so, it's about this orphan who is supposed to save the world. She has to defend it against an evil villain, but she's actually just a kid.” “Sounds familiar.” “Don't mock me about this.” “I'm not mocking you. I'm listening. Just... tell me more, please.” “Well, the world is on her shoulders and she crumbles apart underneath it. And, then, one day it just gets too much. And she shows up at the villain's hideout, but she doesn't want to fight... Just talk. All she wants is to understand him.” I swallow and avert my eyes.

“So, they talk, and they become friends.” “Just like that?” “Yeah... Just like that.”

For a moment, we just look in each other's eyes. My heart is racing fast and I'm sure this means something, but I can't think straight.

“I guess they are both villains after that, and someone needs to come to remind them again what it means to be human, but... at least they have each other.”

My voice is raw when I try to speak.

“I – I'd like to read it sometime.” Tentatively, Simon pushes a book in my hand. I look down and see that it's the one he's just been talking about.

He sheepishly looks up at me.

“Yeah, I found it and... wanted to give it to you.”

“Thanks.”

I'm on the verge of tears and I don't understand why. I just push the book close to my heart and hold it there. I try to calm myself and stand up, offering Snow a hand.

“Let's go,” I say and smirk. “I'm not done yet.”

I was half mad when Snow returned. So what now? Was he going to start a fight? I was tired of fighting.

Snow didn't look at me and I wondered whether it was always going to be that way from now on. He would never be able to even look at me again. He would probably act like even more of a moron than he already was around me.

But then he got closer and sat on the bed next to me. My body tensed up and I waited for him to speak. (To humiliate me? To rip out my heart and stomp on it?)

He looked so lost, so confused, that for a second I thought he didn't even know he was here. Or that I was right next to him. Then he reached out a hand, but I flinched away.

If he wasn't going to speak, fine, I'd do it.

“Listen, Snow, we can just forget this happened, okay? It'll be fine. Just pretend I never mentioned anything.”

“Baz...” he said as if he hadn't heard me. “Have you – Are you -”

I didn't answer, I just pulled my knees up and hugged them with my arms.

“Please,” I whimpered, because I'd have pleaded him if I had to. I'd have done anything to make him act like the last hour had never happened.

“I don't want to pretend you never said that.”

Of course he didn't. I pressed my forehead against my knees. All I wanted was for this nightmare to end.

“So what are you going to do now?” I asked. “Torment me?”

“I was thinking -”

He hesitated. “You could take me on a date.” “What?!” Had he really just said that?

“On Saturday.” “Are you trying to trick me?” “No, I'm serious. Completely.” He looked at me with wide eyes and I couldn't do anything other than stare at him.

“I want to try this. Please.” Try this? Try what? Was he insane?

“O-okay.” Was I insane?

I still don't know what he is getting out of this, but I'm going to make it last for as long as I can. (Does he want to be my boyfriend? No. Possibly?)

We're sitting in the coffee shop just around the corner. Snow is sipping the Pumpkin Mocha Breve that the barista makes just for me. I'm a regular in this Starbucks but Snow's never been here before.

“How can you drink that?” Snow asks and pulls a face. “It tastes like a candy bar.” “What's wrong with that?”

“Nothing at all.”

I shoot him a mistrustful glance, but he ignores me and starts talking about his favourite drinks. He looks different, the way his eyes glow. It might just be the lighting, but he's practically shining. (It might just be how ridiculously enamoured I am with him.)

It's nice sitting here, at a table by the window, just talking about nothing and everything.

And I do like listening to him. I want to know everything about him, every thought he has, no matter how ridiculous. And I want to keep seeing his eyes glow like that, and his smile brighten exactly that way... I don't think I'll ever grow tired of looking at him. Or holding his hand. As long as he'll let me.

Before I know it, we are the only ones left and it's gone dark outside. I want to keep him here, just save this moment forever. But the barista gives me an impatient look and I know that every moment has to end sometime.

Back in our room, I know that I somehow have to put an end to the date. I have to say something, something like: “That was nice,” or “Could we do this again, sometime?” Maybe I should kiss him. But I've never kissed anyone before, and perhaps he doesn't want me to either. Perhaps it's just me whose heart is beating fast and who can't let this moment go.

“So,” he says and I close my eyes because I can't bare to look at him.

“So, uhm,” I mutter, because I'm at a loss of words. He should say something, shouldn't he? He knows how this kind of thing works.

“So, did I ruin it?” I eventually say. “Will you not go on a second date with me?” “What do you mean?” “I mean,” I take a deep breath, “have you decided if you want to go on a second date?” I stay still for a second. Then he laughs. I turn my head away. I guess that means no. I try not to blush, and fail. I don't want him to know how humiliated I am. One date. I should be glad he even let me have that.

But then he grabs my arm.

“I was always going to go on a second date with you. I'd even go on a second date if this had been the most terrible date in the world.” “Was it?” “No, you idiot.” “But I took you to the book store and you don't even like reading.”

He smiles. I think it's killing me.

“It doesn't matter where you take me, Baz, as long as it's with you.” “But you have gone on so many dates already – you're an expert and I've never done this before...” “You've never done this before?”

He looks surprised. Fuck. I didn't mean for him to know that. Then, I just shrug.

“I've only been in love once.” “Only once? With whom?” I glare at him. Seconds pass, then he gets it.

“Oh.” “Yeah.”

My hands start fidgeting. “Too soon?” You aren't supposed to declare your love on the first date. Even I know that. (Especially when there's a high chance that it's not reciprocated.) “No, I – I think I'm in love with you, Baz.” I look up in his bright honest eyes and I don't believe him. How could I believe him? But then he lifts his hand to touch my cheek. My eyes flutter closed and I'm lost.

“I love you, Baz,” he repeats, and I'm completely gone.

“I don't want this date to end,” Simon whispers. “Me neither,” I whisper back and pull him towards his bed. We lay next to each other, wordless, just staring into each other's eyes. And we simply don't let it end. Tonight, I'm falling asleep next to Simon Snow. It's a miracle. It's impossible. And he's still holding my hand.