#i have to stop being scared to post stuff and stop being scared of being myself here fr.

[ronanceautistic]

I love the idea of like, on the surface it looks like Nancy is the one conforming with the traditional values and societal expectation but in reality Robin is the one with that mindset.

Hear me out okay. I feel like basically so many kids who grew up as girls have had this experience of like aggressively hating girly stuff as like a form of internalised misogyny. And I like the idea of Robin - especially in a Rebel Robin universe - having that mindset of how she's always been treated different and wrong by the girls who wear pink and love clothes and care about the way they dress. So she's not conforming to that and she's gonna be different and refuse to touch any of the things those kinds of people like!

And then she meets Nancy, who likes all of those things, but also sees the gun-wielding, mouthy, nerdy side of her and her brain is like "how can those two qualities possibly co-exist" and she goes on like a crusade to prove to Nancy she's been like shackled by gender roles. And then I think Nancy opens up to Robin about her experience working at the Hawkins Post and being like, yeah, being born a girl sucks sometimes, but these lil hair clips are cute as hell.

And I think the more Robin starts paying attention and stops seeing Nancy the way she always saw her at school she realises Nancy just like, likes stuff. She has hair clips and pink sweaters and leather gloves and combat boots. She wears pastel floral skirts and blouses and dark brown jackets and plaid shirts. She's got cat ornaments and teddy bears and pictures of graveyards stuck to her wall. And she's ultra polite to strangers but swears like a sailor.

And when they hang out together Robin notices Nancy's willingness to try absolutely everything Robin likes, she steals Robin's comfortable clothes, tries on her rings and earrings and sometimes they go missing and Robin knows Nancy took them. And she thinks about her own aversion to Nancy's stuff and thinks 'if someone as different as Nancy Wheeler can like all this stuff then why am I so scared of it?'

Anyways!

[icarusredwings]

This post may not be suitable for littles or people who get uncomfy with mentions of baby making stuff. IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK THO I SWEAR!!!!

Wade:

Thinking about how much Wade loves babies when he's small.

He's holding Logan's hand down the street as they're running errands, and he's being so good, like SUPER good. Not running away, litsening to instructions, using his words in a way Kitty can understand.

He doesn't even have Fluffy with him either, so he's doing all of this with minimal emotional support, just his chewy star necklace and one of Logans big hoodies. He's in some colorful leggings, though, and in his pocket is nothing but a snack. Not even his cup.

Bro is raw dogging the adult outdoors as his small self with practically nothing. He's still wearing his dog tags, though, just in case he gets lost, they're used as a source of identification.

Ealier, when Wade wanted to pet a stray cat instead of just running off, he gasped and pointed to it. "Kitty!" Which is obviously code for "Look! A cool thing!" So when Logan looked, he saw how polite Wade was behaving.

"Be gentle, okay? Sometimes, they don't like humans." He tells him, carefully walking him over in which Wade just squats down to pet the cat very nicely. You would think 'yeah no duh he wouldn't hurt it,' and you would be correct, though sometimes he pets them too rough or moves too quickly so they get scared and scratch him.

Right now, he's bored, leaning on his shoulder and starting to get fussy because paying bills is boring, and he wants to go home. Chewing on his star, he stops, and his eyes light up, seeing a stoller.

Wade loves strollers. Because where there is a pram- Theres a babe. And babies were great. (Unless they were screaming, and then they were not)

He tugs a bit on Logan, but he's ignored because he's trying to ask the internet service people why they charged them 15 extra this month when nothing changed. "Kitty!" He points, looking at him for consent to go see the baby. Frustrated, confused, and not looking, Logan assumes that he sees another cat and waves a hand. "Yeah, sure. Be gentle."

So, being given the okay, Wade practically skips over to the stroller and crouches down to see a chunky cheeked baby boy. His mum is busy on the phone, so she doesn't even notice a grown man cooing over the child.

Giggling to the baby, he lets him grab his finger and nibble on it. Tickling his cheeks and stuff, you know. Baby stuff. So when he takes off his hood to let the baby play with his necklace, the baby gets upset and starts to cry.

I think we would all cry if we saw a glowy yellow eyed man smiling at us like that with such unfarmiliar skin. You have to remember, babies only know what they're shown, and I doubt it's ever seen anything like this before.

Of course, it cries. And the crying alerts the mom. "Ooh shh, Steven, you're al- Ahh!! Who are you! Get away from my baby, you freak!"

Getting shooed away, he whines, unsure of what he did wrong. Was it bad to play with babies? His head said No.

"What is wrong with you!?"

"I-i... but.." he dosn't know what to say, tries to explain that he didn't do anything bad and that he was sorry but she dosn't seem to care about his words. This is New York afterall. Kids are stolen all the time here.

The yelling, of course, makes Logan think "Great some idiot made the baby cry," only to pause and wonder where Wade went. "OH SHIT that's MY idiot." He thinks and instantly becomes protective, growling as he gives in and throws the extra money at the tiller. Coming outside, he steps in front of Wade. Sure, Wade is a weirdo, but he wouldn't do anything to the baby. Right??

"What's your deal lady!?"

"He tried to take my son!!" She says, assuming the worst.

Logan gives a glance to Wade, who's already crying and shakes his head, unable to get any words out, but "I'm good!" Seeing as various times today, Logan has praised him for behaving. "You're being so good today, kid."

"No he didn't! Now take your ugly pup and get!"

A bit more of arguing, and she finally goes on her way, complaining about New York Weirdos.

After that, he starts asking Wade why he was touching a random baby and honestly just running his mouth that he knows better and shouldn't do that, etc.

Almost instantly, it stops, though, because he's already crying. He lets out this huge sigh. "Fine... Im sorry.. I know you like babies. How about I give you a baby. Would you like that?"

Logan doesn't mean it in the way Wade thinks, obviously, as his eyes widden, sniffling. "You're gonna give me a baby!?"

"Yeah, sure-"

"We're gonna have a baby!!!??"

"WAIT- No! Not like that!"

He squeals and excitedly flaps his hands, continuing to go on about how 'Mommy tried to give him a baby, but it didn't work'

Slapping his hand over his face, he's so embarrassed, blushing all the way down his neck and up his ears. He shakes his head and growls. "SHHH!!! That's not what I meant!! We can't even have a baby moron!" I mean, who wouldn't be embarrassed about their partner OPENLY talking about their past relations in public?

So- He does what every person does when their partner is obsessed with babies by can't have any.

He takes him to the thrift store to pick one out.

[districtsleepsalonetonight]

Was reading a headcanon post earlier about Dean and consent while rewatching the kiss scene in Caged Heat and something occurred to me about Dean’s awareness of Cas’s consent to things.

When he sees Meg kiss Cas, we see Dean’s reaction behind them.

He frowns, glances at Sam, looking annoyed, opens his mouth as though to say something, and then actually makes a move to step towards them-you can see he’s moving forward just after Meg breaks away from Cas.

Bear in mind the last time Dean saw Cas in any potential sexual/romantic situation, it was the brothel and it was blatantly obvious that Cas wasn’t comfortable.

Then when Cas takes hold of Meg and initiates a kiss himself, we see Dean’s reaction differs. He still looks flustered, mildly annoyed (pointing at the wall to remind them silently of the approaching dogs) and then shrugs. He doesn’t have the same irritated reaction and doesn’t make any move towards them.

Then when Cas breaks away, Dean looks at him questioningly. Could both be a “What the hell are you doing right now?” questioning look and also a “What did you think?” questioning look.

It’s only when Cas says “I learnt that from the Pizza Man” that Dean seems to fully stand down from the “ready to move in if anything’s wrong” stance.

On another note, when Dean realises that Cas is fine- it’s pretty interesting to see what his face does.

There’s a sort of bewildered expression as he looks away from Cas, as though he’s still trying to compute what he’s just seen and his eyes actually widen as he looks down at the end of the shot. In fact, the shot actually focuses on Dean specifically in that moment, not any of the others-it’s Dean’s reaction to the kiss that’s important.

It makes more sense when you remember Dean has never seen Cas acting consensually in any romantic situation before-in fact, I think Jensen mentioned later on (as to why Dean was so surprised by Cas’s love confession) that he wasn’t even sure angels could feel those things. Up until now, Dean’s teasing Cas with flirty remarks has mostly seemed to go over Cas’s head. Even earlier in the episode, when Cas is watching porn, he didn’t seem to properly understand what was going on.

Now, Dean’s suddenly having this realisation that-oh. Cas does get some stuff about sex. Cas does kiss. Oh. That’s a whole new side to Cas. (It actually looks quite similar to the expression he does in Changing Channels when Gabe calls Cas “pretty”. There’s an expression then that’s sort of “Wait-is he?” as though he’s always been somewhat aware of it but this is the first time it’s been acknowledged out loud.)

It allows him to acknowledge Cas in a whole new way he didn’t before. Because previously Cas seemed to totally lack interest in sex, so in many ways, it would have been safe to flirt with him and tease him, because it feels off-limits.

Now, though? He’s seeing Cas make out with someone right there, in front of him. It’s impossible to ignore this whole new side to Cas. So maybe Cas can get Dean’s references and jokes. Maybe Cas does get more of the personal space thing than he lets on. Cas can want at least kissing, and what does that mean?

It, in a way, gives Dean permission to let himself see Cas that way properly-as a being that can want sex-for the very first time. And that seems to simultaneously intrigue him and almost scare him. Because having permission to see Cas in that way lets him acknowledge things that he didn’t have to acknowledge before.

But digressing…

Dean’s annoyance in the scene didn’t just originate from Cas kissing someone-it originated from him not being sure if Cas was OK with what was going on. He’s seen Cas be deeply unsure/uncomfortable in the brothel (which, funny as it was, wasn’t Dean’s best moment overall), doesn’t know how he’s going to react and actually makes a move towards them as though he’s going to try to stop Meg kissing him or make sure Cas is OK.

Once he realises Cas is onboard, he stops moving forward-he actually moves back a little-and even slightly holds his hands up in a shrug. While he still looks uncomfortable and flustered, he’s no longer angry.

Dean wanted to be sure that Cas was all right with what was going on, was prepared to step in if Cas was uncomfortable, and backed off when he realised Cas was OK. Not only is this Dean showing a good awareness of consent, it’s also a nice bit of character development from the brothel episode the previous season, where Cas was pretty uncomfortable and Dean did-as well as he meant it-keep pushing him.

Then, Dean was keen on giving Cas more human experiences. Now, Dean’s more conscious of letting Cas go at his own pace and he’s prepared to step in if others aren’t letting that happen too. As well as Cas becoming more accepting of human behaviour, Dean is also making adjustments for Cas.

And Cas seems aware of this. Check out where he looks when he realises Meg has taken his angel blade:

He realises it’s gone and must know immediately who’s taken it-but he looks straight at Dean, almost in a way that’s a little annoyed. As though he almost wants to ask Dean why he didn’t intervene to stop Meg taking the blade (not necessarily the kiss).

And he looks at Dean instinctively. Instinctively, he’s come to know that Dean will step in to help him in (particularly human) situations where he’s out of his depth. It’s an instinctive glance before he turns back to glare at Meg.

So it’s not just that Dean’s adjusting for Cas-Cas is aware of that adjustment and it just deepens his attachment to Dean.

And yeah-for the first time in this scene, Dean has to acknowledge that he can think of Cas as not being some off-limits angel-but as someone who could actually want sex and intimacy. Which makes anything he himself may feel more possible and more terrifying.

[basofy]

[discoveredreality]

hi

[nerosdayinanime]

sabito = dirtbike redneck. you cant convince me otherwise

[jankwritten]

yall wanna know how fucked up my anxiety is about some shit

i scroll past a post that's about a topic i don't like. whatever, it's fine. i scroll past a video that's a topic i don't care about. that's normal.

i scroll past a video that's a topic i don't like or care about but the person presenting it is a person of color? i IMMEDIATELY feel immensely guilty and need to "compensate" by "proving" it wasn't because of race by also skipping other random posts, JUST IN CASE someone thinks I'm racist because I didn't want to watch a video on a topic I didn't like or care about, that happened to be presented by a person of color.

this just in on: the police in my brain are loud and i'm scared of them

[snickerdoodlles]

there's a point at which someone's fear of being a dick wraps back around to them just being a dick anyways

[dhmis-autism]

did another quick dhmis rewatch my thoughts are thusly:

duck and yellow friendship FOREVER I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

duck best character ever created ever invented

red guy still scares me and i had to skip the end of transport bc he made me so uncomfortable.

like somehow this rewatch made me like him LESS and he was already my least fave of the main 3

baker terry i love you goodnite

[phantonixx]

I've been creating Nervous Subject's playlist for a good while but... it's mostly metal. maybe one day if I'll gain enough courage I'll post this

[discoreptile]

Beasties of Greenhollow soundtrack! Some tracks on this are from older projects like elphame but all of them have been reworked in some way. Most of them are entirely new. Enjoy!

[plantenjoyer]

I SWEAR I KEEP TRYING TO DO ART BUT THEN SOMETHING GETS IN THE WAY AND THEN I PROCRASTINATE AND THEN SIX MONTHS PASS

[thelastspeecher]

I had a brief med check appointment with my doctor this morning and wound up telling her the Bad Time I was/have been going through to explain why I was crying so much my throat hurt and I wanted her to take a look at it to make sure I didn't do something to it. From crying. Which, given how hard and painfully I cry, was a concern. My abs were sore like I'd gone to the gym that first week.

And she immediately checked in on how I was coping (increased therapy sessions, strong support system) and then told me that I'm going to be grieving for a while. That there's going to be random things, esp around the holidays, that trigger strong emotions bc I'm reminded of my dog and grandmother.

And a) I'm glad she's so on top of things, in particular that she flat-out told me if I experience strong negative emotions without triggers, just feeling really bad in general, to call the office for help. And b) BOY HOWDY was she right bc I saw a damn Costco truck while I was driving back to the lab and that made me cry bc my grandmother offered to get me a Costco membership for my birthday last year. And I told her I didn't want one right now but maybe later.

And uhhhhhh that later will never come now

[strwbrymlkshake]

Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(

[c-kiddo]

I loveeee how you draw Fjord... especially in your fjorester malewife/girlboss post... how he's obviously strong but still soft... his pointy ears... my guy <3333

:''-3 oh thankyou , hes vry fun to draw kinda soft and round. a bit barrel-y. also ya i love drawing his pointy ears its so fun. i should draw him more, i dont rly often .. . i love him sm hes the silliest

[comvi]

I always have to remind myself that I don’t need to push myself to make art, and I don’t need to apologize or feel bad for not making a lot of art. art is something that should make me feel happy, so if I’m pushing myself to the point of not enjoying it anymore, then I should just stop and calm down for a second. and take some time for myself. Art won’t disappear, it will always be there waiting for me again, its okay for me to take some time doing others things sometimes.