#i havent been in this much pain in so long though | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

atinyniki · 9 months

Text

happy new year!

group: stray kids !

pairing: idol!bangchan x f!reader

genre: angst, hurt/comfort, fluff

warnings + additional info: reader is referred to as y/n, established relationships, fighting, reader flinches bc of chan, reader is neglected, chan says rlly mean things, reader is pretty mean too, takes place on new years/new years eve, mentions of physical abuse, kissing, crying, kiss and make up (literally), chan is kinda mean to his manager (that he hates), petname, mentions of cheating, cheating accusations.

authors note: two posts in one day hell yeah ! this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)

wc: 1524

“seriously?!”

he can only bring himself to nod, evidently a little upset at your yelling.

you both go quiet for a moment, until you break it.

“chan.”

he looks up at you again, playing with his fingers in his lap. “hm?”

“are you cheating?”

“what?”

“are you cheating on me?”

“n-no! how could you even… ask that?”

you roll your eyes at him. “you havent been home in so fucking long, chan. and now you’re leaving again and it… it’s just not fair!”

“it’s my job, y/n.”

“your job shouldn’t require you to be away from me every day! you just got back”, you yell even louder.

he knows you’re frustrated, but he’s starting to get a headache. “y/n—“

“plus, even while you are here, you’re never with me… you’re always sleeping and you never talk to me.”

and then it just snaps.

“well, what if i’m tired y/n? what if i’m tired of running around all day with shitty schedules? what if i’m tired of having to exert my fucking voice all the time? what if i’m tired of you being so fucking clingy with me? i need rest!”, he yells back.

tears begin to well up in your eyes, and the words lump in your throat. despite that, you still manage to say something.

“am i really that clingy just for wanting the attention that i deserve? i’m your girlfriend for gods sake!”

he gets up off the bed, lightly stomping towards you. you notice the upset look on his face, red, teary eyes, and his hands are clenched into fists at his sides.

you scoff at the sight, “what, you’re gonna fight me now? do it. hit me.”

though you act confident, you gulp, scared for what’s to come. he reaches a hand up to cup your face, but you shut your eyes, flinching and turning away.

there was no impact.

you turn back to chan, his face completely streaked with tears. “did… did you think i was really—“

he cuts himself off, unable to say anymore.

you trip over your words, you know you’ve hurt him now. “i- i mean… i don’t see another reason your clench your fists. i just thought that—“

“clenching my fists eases the pain of my heart. that’s why i do it so much.”

“o-oh”

an uncomfortable silence passes between you two.

“um… just- come to me when you’ve calmed down. i’ll be in the living room.”

“o-okay.”

he makes his way out the room, his fists still clenched. you hear the pitter patter of his tears hitting the hardwood floor, and you just break.

you’ve done it. you’ve made him cry.

what kind of a girlfriend are you?

you finally let everything sink in. you sit down on your bed, wrapping yourself in the blanket, but it smells too familiar. it smells like chan.

chan will be leaving you again in two days. you don’t want to think about it, but you can’t stop. this is what he wanted after all. to think about it. to calm down. but you can’t.

not after what you said to him. not after what he said to you. your breaths become labored, gasping for air in between sobs. it gets painful, you can’t inhale anything anymore.

you’re stuck, you can’t breathe, but you’re being too loud. so you slap your hands over your mouth, hoping that he won’t hear, and you stuff your face into a pillow, body convulsing with every breath.

you clench the bedsheets, just needing to hold onto something.

chan was right. it helps.

he is not doing too well without you either. he hasn’t been able to stop crying since you left the room, trying to distract himself with the future next.

he turns on the tv, finally finding the countdown to new years. that’s when he realizes how late it is. how long it’s been since your argument.

it’s five minutes till midnight.

the next year.

a fresh start.

but it won’t be the same without you by his side. he tugs at his shirt, sobbing into the cushion even more. he’s careful not to make a sound, not wanting you to feel even worse than you already feel.

before he knows it, there’s only two minutes left. he has to apologize. he has to make it right. there’s no way in hell that he’s ending the year like this.

he walks over to your shared room, knocking softly.

one minute.

the doorknob turns, and you’re forced to face him again. it’s just the consequences of your actions.

your pillow is soaked with your tears, as is his cushion that’s still laying on the couch. your hands are clenched into fists beside you, just as his are now. your bloodshot eyes stare directly into his, and it’s like looking at a mirror.

twenty seconds.

he walks over to the bed, eyes flickering between the wet pillow and your puffy face. his heart clenches at the sight, and he digs his nails even harder into his palm.

still wordless, he kneels down in front of you, where your legs are hanging off the bed. he’s now level with your face, making him far more intimidating.

five.

a tear leaves his eye.

four.

he smiles softly at you.

three.

he glances at his phone to check the time, hand reaching for yours. you comply of course, interlacing your fingers in a desperate attempt to just feel him.

two.

he leans in closer to you, heart beating wildly in his chest. it feels like your first date all over again, the nervous feeling in his chest.

one.

using his other hand, he cups your face and pushes your foreheads together, smiling even wider when you don’t flinch away from him this time.

zero.

he steals your lips in a breathtaking kiss, and you just melt into it. your hands find his face, but before you can do anything, he picks you up, lips still attached to yours.

he sits down on the bed and pulls you further into his lap so that you’re straddling him, finally breaking away from the kiss with tears in his eyes.

“happy new year, babe…”

even more tears escape from your eyes now, but you just can’t help them. you hug chan even tighter now, scared that if you let go, he’ll be gone.

“you waited?”

“of course i did. i couldn’t leave you alone.”

you kiss him again, whispering little love confessions to him as you do. “happy new year…”

he knows the elephant in the room still needs to be addressed, and sighs. “i’m sorry for calling you clingy. i didn’t mean it. i really love the attention you give me, and i truly wouldn’t trade it for anything”

“i’m sorry for yelling at you… i should’ve handled it better. thank you for being patient with me.”

“you know i would never… um- do something like that to you… right?”

“i know chan, i was just scared… it was in the heat of the moment. i’m sorry for not understanding.”

he hugs you tightly, “i love you so much, y/n. you’ve changed my entire life, and now i actually look forward to it. i look forward to my schedules, my comebacks, even waking up… because i know it’s for you.”

you can’t even say anything, scared another sob will come out, so you take some time to process his words, kissing slowly at his neck.

“i love you too, channie. thank you for being here for me, and thank you for loving me. i know i can be so difficult and just a lot at times, but it means a lot that you try to make time for me.”

he smiles, kissing you again and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “oh my baby… i’ve missed you.”

you’ve never heard this type of emotion in his words before, so you just know his words have a different weight to them this time.

“i missed you too. wondered how i was gonna sleep without you, knowing that you were hurt and—“

“shh baby… it’s okay. i’m here now, yeah?”

“but you’re gonna be gone again in two days”, you jokingly whine.

he smiles, grabbing his phone from the end of the bed, and he calls someone. you’re not sure who, but it rings for a while until they answer.

“hello?”

“i’m not going to be there for the interview.”

“what? why?! we’ve been planning this for months.”

“okay, well my girlfriend was planning on having me to herself for months, but we don’t all get what we want, do we? i’m spending time with her now.”

“can we reschedule?”

“we’ll talk later.”

he hangs up, and you’re a little stunned by the coldness of his voice. you know he hates his manager, but that much?

“not anymore, y/n.”

“i love you, dumbass”

he giggles, “i love you too, angel.”, he says in a sing-song voice while bopping your nose.

“angel? you’ve never… called me that before…”

he hums, giggling again and quickly kissing you on the cheek.

“new year, new name.”

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frigidwife · 2 months

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do you think louis chose/believed armand over claudia in the scene after armand threatens and chokes her? i was under the impression that louis reflexively disagreed with claudia because he didn't want to believe it, but the fact that he also reflexively lit armand's photo on fire makes me think his response to claudia ("he wouldn't do that"/"sit in your choice") was a denial of the real horror he was feeling, that he did believe her and just wished it wasn't true. i rewatched that scene and when he notices the picture is on fire, he waits a second before putting it out, which makes me think his commitment to armand following this scene wasn't out of genuine love, but a strategic choice made out of fear, the same way he martyred himself for lestat to turn claudia. i still see people talking about how much louis and armand did love each other, and i was briefly convinced when madeline called it out (though that scene also contains claudia thanking armand for not treating her like a child, so the legitimacy of the entire scene is thrown into question imo). but after rewatching the season, i don't think they were that devoted to each other. between the actors deliberately playing their flirtations super awkward, the fact that louis never commits until armand threatens claudia and his commitment itself following louis' pattern of chaining himself to his current lover/shark for claudia's survival (a pattern the show goes out of its way to emphasize with lestat's retelling of her turning), and the fact that armand apparently did choose the coven over louis...idk. maybe i'm biased and just sick of the idea that armand and louis' love is some torrid gothic romance when it seems clear that louis and armand's insistence that it was in dubai is deliberately at odds with what we saw, despite how hard they were trying to make it seem that way. even the way they gassed up their first meeting felt staged, and if we're supposed to understand that louis and armand's growing physical distance in dubai denotes emotional/romantic distance as louis' memories are restored, it seems in line to realize that the distance isn't what's new, nor is the performance of love; it's the realization that it is a performance. SORRY this got long, i feel like i'm going a little crazy because i feel the show is saying the exact opposite to much of the analysis on here. in a way i would love to be convinced towards a different perspective because then i could just relax

no i agree with you completely ur not insane and neither am i.... i havent watched that episode in a while but the way the events are sequenced it's not even ambiguous--the relationship with armand is strategic and it has been since the beginning. like i dont think louis's "he wouldn't do that" is even a denial of the kind of person armand is. Bc in the previous episode armand literally almost killed louis for the same secret he's just threatened claudia about. so why would he actually disbelieve her? (laying it out like this i'm realizing why the victim blaming interpretation of louis as ditzy is so prevalent lol.) his frustration reads to me like: i've already sacrificed my freedom and happiness so you can join the coven that you love so much, and now you're saying you don't like the coven? you can't tough it out and trust i have armand handled? the disbelief in "he wouldn't do that" is not that louis wants to believe armand is a better person; it's that louis wants to believe his control over armand is more complete, bc otherwise claudia is right and his sacrifices are doubly pointless. this is the same pattern we saw with louis and his siblings as a human--telling grace to worry about herself, telling lestat how they were four months from bankruptcy; he takes pains to keep them ignorant but then is frustrated they wont register his sacrifice; they see it as him pushing them away (literal knife to paul's throat). louis starting to burn the photograph is him giving up--claudia is ungrateful; this task is impossible. but then the dream lestat which is ofc just louis calls claudia "our daughter" and that's when louis stops burning the photograph of armand. at the reminder that no matter how he tries to accept her as grown and autonomous, she's his child first. and then you can see him double down and regroup--get rid of ghost lestat indulgence to commit fully to companionship with as much control as he can leverage

#Because literally in episode three in the sewer he says i could move on to london-- and armand is like no.#and references the coven there #so when armand says you should leave paris in ep 4--why would louis believe that means safety? The entire premise of their relationship is #armand being like i NEED to kill you. but i wont because i want you. invite me upstairs.#so how is louis going to interpret armand 'letting him go' as anything but a death sentence

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idyllic-affections · 1 year

Text

we'll meet again.

summary. ""I'm sure we'll meet again, but for now… goodbye, [Name]."" trigger & content warnings. major character death (the reader), mild blood. tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. angst, hurt/no comfort. muichiro tokito & hashira mentor!reader. 1.1k words. they/them pronouns for reader. author's thoughts. this is an expansion of these headcanons. while this oneshot could be read as a standalone, it makes slightly more sense with the background context. also i think this oneshot only really makes sense if youve read the demon slayer manga; you wont understand the fight scene if you havent. anyway i have NO excuse for this. im so sorry (no im not LMAO)

"Tokito, move!"

Perhaps it was the urgency in their tone, or perhaps it was the evident desire to protect a young life that they deemed unsettlingly evanescent, yet Muichiro obeyed with no hesitation. Perhaps it was simply the trust and respect he held for his mentor.

Regardless, he moved.

The second he released the hilt of his blade, they clasped it, pushing the boy further away with all their might. Though they may have missed it, Muichiro grimaced from the utter force they exerted against his core and stumbled slightly when attempting to regain his balance.

...

He hadn't sparred with them in quite a long time. He'd forgotten the kind of power that they could demonstrate.

Though the blade had been red before when clutched in the Mist Hashira's hand, it was blazing now, making the Upper Moon suck in a sharp, painful breath. Their glare was steely enough to make even the bravest man falter.

If Kokushibo was not a demon, perhaps even he would have wavered.

"You will not harm my Tsuguko."

Lightning struck their core, tearing and searing the seams of their flesh to reach its sharp nails into their delicate innards. They hardly processed the gaping gash across their torso until the pain came in seconds later, making the floor sway beneath their feet and their vision spin. A glare that was once as sharp as their nichirin blade was now unfocused and hazy.

Their legs gave out from underneath them.

Through the pounding of their heart in their ears, they heard a distant, faint cry of their name.

A moment passed, then another.

Tender fingers brushed hair that'd stuck to their sweaty, pale face away, caressing their cheek with a trembling hand. "...[Name]-nee?"

"Ah..." they laughed, choking up a bit of blood in the process, before wincing at the sharp pain that struck their abdomen after. "That's the first time you've called me anything other than [Name]-sama, Mui-kun. It's cute. You should've done it a long time ago."

"H— wait, hold on, just stay awake a little longer," he urged, hands scrambling to peel away at some of the fabric sticking to their flesh. The boy's pupils were blown wide with panic; that much they could tell, despite their blood-loss induced dilirium. "We'll close your wounds, just... I need..."

"Hey..." they called weakly, gently pushing his hands away from their wound with what little strength they had left. "Tokito."

"I just, I- I need to start a fire. We'll cauterize them—"

"Tokito-kun."

"—It'll be okay."

"Mui-kun, please, just stop already! Listen to me!"

Glossy tears spilled over at the sheer breathless desperation in their voice. Never once had their voice raised in his direction, and perhaps it was a mix of the utter overwhelm of the situation and the shock of hearing them yell (at him, specifically) that pushed him over the edge.

In the end, Muichiro was still only a child.

Their chest rose up and down in heavy puffs as they tried to catch their breath, squeezing their eyes shut as the room spun.

"[Name]-nee... don't go yet. Please, please... not you too..."

"Shh. I'm still here. Just, ah... just give me your hands. I'll throw up if I open my eyes."

He was quick in clasping their chilled hands between his own, sharing his body heat and offering what little comfort he possibly could to both himself and his rapidly declining mentor. A deep weight settled in his gut at the realization that he wasn't just in some horrible nightmare—that, once again, someone he adored and loved wholeheartedly was leaving him alone.

To them, the warmth he radiated was indeed a comforting reassurance. He was warm. Alive.

"Listen to me. You've gotta kill Muzan for me. This isn't fixable. This couldve been you, laying here in your own blood, you know? You're too young to die here. Too many kids have given their lives already. You had better not die, you hear me? I'll give you hell if you do."

When he laid down beside them, shedding blistering tears on their shoulder, they caressed his head lovingly with the last of their strength.

"You had better not die, Muichiro."

— flower of the universe !! 🌸

"Hello! It's nice to meet you. I am [Surname] [Name], the Demon Slayer Corps' Cloud Hashira, and I'll be your mentor from here on out."

The warmth with which they regarded him was... foreign. Despite the nervous smile tugging at their lips, their welcoming warmth was oh-so evident. How could one who had seen so much bloodshed still have eyes that shone comparably to stars?

Muichiro blinked—once, twice.

"Okay."

Awkward silence descended for a brief moment as the boy fidgeted slightly with the bandages wrapped around his body.

"Oh, uh, right," they stammered, plucking amaranth from their hair. Their hand raised with purposeful delicacy so that, had he so desired, he could withdraw from their gentle touch. He did not. His lack of movement prompted them to tuck the plant behind his ear. "Here."

"What's this for?"

"Well, I've never had a Tsuguko before, so I want us to have a good relationship. Some of the other Hashira say gift-giving is a good way to build rapport. Also, I've been thinking about your name."

"My... name?"

"Yes. The 'mu' in your given name—it's the same as the 'mu' in 'mugen,' isn't it? The 'mu' in Muichiro is the 'mu' in 'mugen.' I like to think so, at least. Amaranth is a symbol of immortality in some countries. It's... it's the closest I could get to infinity," they laughed. "I thought about bringing a lotus instead. Maybe I should have? A lotus would've looked a little nicer. Hmm..."

The 'mu' in Muichiro is the 'mu' in 'mugen.'

Where...

Where had he heard that before?

"You wanted to bring me a lotus that day, [Name]-nee. It was because they symbolise eternity, right?" Muichiro mused in a quiet whisper that would inevitably be lost to the breeze. No-one else was meant to hear, anyway. His words were for no-one but his late mentor; that much was blatantly obvious. "I didn't think you'd ever join this graveyard."

The rows of graves behind Oyakata-sama's seemed endless, really. Day after day they used to get bigger and bigger as Demon Slayers fell. It was somehow comforting to Muichiro that no-one would ever have to join said rows ever again.

"You know, lotuses also symbolise rebirth. That's why I brought you one."

With delicacy so obviously mimicing that which they had once displayed towards him, he laid the flower on their grave, careful not to disturb the dirt too much.

"I'm sure we'll meet again, but for now... goodbye, [Name]."

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot! for clarity's sake, the line "The 'mu' in Muichiro is the 'mu' in 'mugen'" is a reference to what muichiro's brother said before he died.

#aphelion writes 🌸#: [ the cloud hashira! 🌸 ]#platonic muichiro x reader #platonic demon slayer #platonic demon slayer x reader #platonic kny x reader #kny x reader #demon slayer x reader #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #muichiro tokito x reader #tokito muichiro x reader #muichiro x reader

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endereies · 2 months

Text

Junction - Matt Sturniolo

Contains: arguing, yelling, angst, kind of happy ending??

Word Count: 1780

Author's Notes: i gotta stop posting and disappearing for a while, school has been a pain in my ass. thank fuck i only have a week left. I havent abandoned my matt series, i only obtained writers block instead. I promise another chapter will be out soon. ANYWAY, tumblr needs more angst so i must deliver. :)

“Matt. You have to see where I’m coming from..”

You had been arguing with Matt for the better part of two hours. Small fragments of pent-up opinions finally formed a full set that was being thrown back at you.

“I don’t have that much time to throw in your face whenever you need it.” His voice was slightly raspy as he choked out words at you constantly. You weren’t sure if this was the first time he said these phrases, or the seventh. But it was getting to you.

“You think that’s what I want. I don’t want time! I want you. But you aren’t here anymore.” Tears had brimmed and fallen your eyes long ago and now stained your cheeks with the pure begging from your tone.

“You think this is easy? I want to be near you, but I have to film, to edit, to create. I’m so sorry I’m too busy for an extra five minutes with you.” At this point you were both exasperated. Empty. And worn out by each other. Your arms were crossed in a self-comfort stance but his were in self-defence, refusing to let up.

“Matt. You have a schedule, but you spend so much extra time and it’s wearing us both thin! Surely you see that..” As much as you were pulling at your hair, he was pulling at your heart. Tugging on each string as his facial expressions softened.

Neither of you wanted to stretch this out as much as you did. Several hours had gone by and you both hadn’t been able to access your points without the other interrupting. Pleading internally began, begging to speak to one other.

Having two stubborn people force their views was always a hard situation to be in. Two passionate people always adding to a fire created something that wasn’t worn down for days. It gnawed at you both endlessly.

After nearly two weeks of this same argument, it was hard to talk about anything new. The points kept repeating themselves as language grew vile.

“All I see is you being needy and it’s overwhelming me so much. Don’t you see.”

You stood stunned at his tone of voice, the words he used and the pure spite behind it all. The silence wrapped around you both, creating an instant tension that was sharp and stabbed you. Your chest felt heavy with the weight of burdening someone you care so much about. It wasn’t simple words being aimlessly thrown to stand by your choices. It was hatred that had slipped though.

Were you really that needy. To the point that it was overbearing? Arrogant? Despotic? You didn’t know.

You only wanted to spend time with him. The memory of an old DVD that was clutched in your hand, crashed on the floor with an open case.

Your expression faltered quickly, lacking any patience that you had left.

“Right..well. I’ll stay out of your way then” Even saying those words hurt you more than it should’ve because all you wanted to do was be around him. But if he felt like you had to back off, you were going to choose any option that may lead to resolving this. Neither of you wanted to back down, but neither of you also wanted to lose the other and so you caved.

It wasn’t long after those words were muttered that you left, returning to the front room. It hurt when you saw the DVD player unloaded with the abandoned disc. You switched the box back to the normal programmes and clicked into the YouTube app. You shoved on a random commentary video that you had seen before. It was the quickest things you thought of to change your mood.

Matt had gone in the other direction, upstairs to his own bedroom to lounge in his chair and play Fortnite. He had been obsessed with the new chapters and ever since his audience requested runs of it. He wasn’t going to turn that down as a distraction.

It had been a few hours of your YouTube series, and you were starting to get agitated. Every small argument from it made you flinch as your mind flashed back to the past two weeks between you and Matt. Call-backs of loud voices caused those remnants of hurt to spark inside your mind. That was when you had to turn it off.

When the screen changed to black, your head did too, void of most thoughts. A strong exhale escapes your lips when you push yourself off the sofa. Your sweats slid up your legs and your shirt was a little twisted.

Yet, the only thing that mattered to you was rest, especially once you saw how dark the sky was. You sought out the stars in the sky, but many clouds covered the brightest ones.

Hesitation filled your body with each step towards the edge of the stairs, not as much due to the lack of energy as it was to nerves. Nerves that got worse each time you thought about passing Matt’s room. You knew you had to go there in order to get blankets, you just hoped to go unnoticed.

In full honesty, you couldn’t ever bring yourself to make many first moves with Matt, no matter the circumstances, and this was no exception.

It was like you were a child again, sneaking through the house when you know you should be asleep. Trouble wasn’t going to land in your lap, internally you knew that. If only your mind did.

You were just paranoid that you’d be caught in conversation with him. Every ‘conversation’ between the pair if you had ended in some sort of a remark, if not a fight.

Your body edged its way to the door of Matts room, and you were thankful to find his headset on. Without a stream watching.

Curses fell from his lips as he fought off other players, and you just wanted to avoid that noise. One night. That’s all you wanted. You didn't want to be in his way again.

A burden.

With your arms full of a thick blanket, close to a duvet, you carried it through the door. The pillows that lined the couch, sufficed for your head as you laid them below your neck.

This wasn’t as comfy as being in a bed, yet, knowing that Matt would soon follow seemed a bit more intimidating. The past two weeks had been hell for the both of you and with you both wearing thing, so did your patience.

The duvet gave you some comfort against the chills of the night, but something was missing, as much as you didn’t want to admit it.

You knew.

“UGH FUCKS SAKE” Matt threw his controller onto his desk and watched as it clattered across his things before falling to land just by your foot. He let an exasperated sigh slip past his lips while he rubbed his face. His headset had slowly become more knocked off with every movement of his neck. With a lack of care to fix it, he threw that the same way as his controller. Each games grew to be challenging to complete and get past a place of #50.

He let the headphones fall to his neck and hang as he laid his head in his hands. The atmosphere was tense, and the air seemed colder than normal.

With the game dimming in volume, he realised how quiet the house was. No fans were turned on, no quiet mumbling of your voice singing a song, no show in the background.

Nothing.

It was unlike you to not have any sound playing around the house and it made him question if you were even home. Neither choice seemed good.

He pushed his weight away from his desk and stood up. The hours of playing were only a distraction from the argument and now it had started to seep back into his thoughts. As much as he hated to admit it, he had been such a dick today. The balance between two passionate people had shifted to hurtful words towards the other.

In full honesty, you never overwhelmed him and now he was missing how you both felt two weeks ago. It felt cold and lacked remorse. He had fucked up.

Once Matt collected his thoughts his body begrudgingly moved along the wooden floors. He needed to find you and talk to you.

You heard Matt’s footsteps through the ceiling with each creaking floorboard he stepped on. The covers immediately went up to your face and you turned your body on the sofa.

You sling an arm over your face when the light above you flicks on, your eyes used to the dark night.

“Are you awake..?” his voice was timid, unlike the spiteful tones from a few hours ago.

He stammers a bit before sighing heavily, not knowing how to relieve the situation.

The shine in your eyes was barely visible against the minimal light from the moon.

Even if you didn’t respond to him, he knew you were awake as you moved away from the bright light.

You internally expect him to turn around and return to his own bed, but he only etched closer, examining my body.

The light above is suddenly shielded by his shadow and the cushions around you move as he lays himself alongside you. Before you even register anything, he snakes an arm around your waist.

Your throat tightened when he nudged his face into the crevasse of your neck.

“Matt..?” you rotate your head and notice his exhausted expression that was etched in his eyes. Your heart clenched as he lay next to you, wondering if you were the reason for his distress or guilt.

A quiet hum escapes his lips, vibrating against your skin.

“I know.. can we just leave it for a night. I miss you.”

You felt your stomach turn with one too many emotions for you to process. His words uttered a silent apology

“Is this hurting you as much as it is me?” Matt takes in a sharp exhale once the damage of the past two weeks sits between you. Silent but deadly.

“I mean maybe we shoul-” His lips pepper a few kisses to your cheek before silencing you with a kiss to your own lips.

“I know..I’ve been thinking it too..but all I ask is if we can forget this for just one night.” A pause settles between us.

“Can we just remember each other one more time?”

You weakly sigh and turn yourself one last time to face him, your eyes slowly brimming with tears.

“Okay, Matt. One night..”

@melliflws @axolotllover225 @yuhayeee @st7rnioioss @sturn-bugz @bueckerslover @worldlxvlys @raysmayhem-72 @patscorner @y0urm4m @bernardsbendystraws @junnniiieee07 @luverboychris @sleepysturnss @jnkvivi

#sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #endereies

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specialagentlokitty · 11 months

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Merlin (kingsman) x reader - you’re safe here

if you do still write for kingsman (i saw it on ur list but i havent seen it on your blog in a very long time) could you do a merlin x reader where reader has been hiding an @bvsive relationship from everyone, but one day shows up to his door with cvts and bruises everywhere??💟💟 - Anon💜

T/W: mentions of abusive relationship

Part of being a kingsman was to keep your personal and work life very separate from one another.

And when it came down to that, you were amazing at it, the two lives never intertwined with each other in any way, shape or form.

And perhaps that is what your downfall was as well.

What was supposed to be a loving relationship had turned into a hell on earth for you, and there wasn’t anything you could do about it.

You were a master at hiding everything, so nobody you worked with suspected a thing, and your partner hated you wouldn’t tell them anything about your work life.

They accused you of everything.

Cheating.

Stealing.

Lying.

Manipulation.

Whatever you could be accused off you were, even though it was the other way around.

And there was nothing you could do about it.

You wanted to fight back, but you were scared, and when it came down to it you couldn’t bring your hand to hit them like you could anybody else.

You were stuck in a world of fear and it was eating away at you slowly.

But it had never been so bad before, never had you feared for your life so much, been on the verge of collapsing in your own legs as you climbed out of your car.

You didn’t have anywhere else to go.

You didn’t know where to find anybody else.

And you were scared that you would be followed if you went to the hospital, and terrified what would happen if you went to the police.

Slowly closing your car door you walked over to the house and rang the bell, slumping yourself against the railing, wheezing for breath.

“Who is it?”

You looked up at the intercom, letting out a pained breath.

“P..please…” you whispered.

You weren’t even sure if he would’ve been able to hear it, but you couldn’t form anymore words.

You heard running down, and the door was thrown open.

Merlin immediately crouched next to you, holding a gun out as he looked around.

When he was sure it was clear he put it away and wrapped your arm around his shoulder.

“This is going to hurt.”

With that, he lifted you up and you held back a pained scream.

Merlin helped you inside and set you down in the sofa, locking the door as he began to rush round gathering everything he could find.

Coming back over, he sat down on chair in front of you, settling some bags of ice down.

He went to reach out and you flinched.

“I would never hurt you, you’re alright.” He said softly.

He slowly reached out again, moving your arms from your ribs.

“Can I?”

You shook your head.

“Alright, I just need to make sure they’re not broken.”

He placed his hands on your ribs, gently feeling and you winced.

“Bruised but that’s all.”

It was calming to hear him telling you what he was doing so you knew everything that was happening. There was no nasty surprises.

Your breathing was pained, and every time he reached out you would flinch.

It broke his heart to see you like this.

He knew you as one of the strongest agents, never had you been injured on a mission.

Now here you were sat on his sofa, bruises forming, covering in cuts, blood stained your clothing. You were in so much pain.

And there was nothing he could do to help you aside from tending to your injures, cleaning them, bandaging them, putting ice on them.

When he was done, he took a small breath.

“Can you tell me what happened?”

You weakly shook your head.

“Alright, I’ll be back in one moment.”

Merlin left, and he came back not long after.

“Come on, let’s get you somewhere more comfortable.”

He helped you up, slowly walking up the stairs with you and took you to his room, letting you sit on the bed.

He covered you up, and sighed as he looked at you.

“Get some rest, we can talk in the morning when you’re ready.”

He went to leave and you stopped him.

“Do you want me to stay?”

You nodded.

He took the chair from his desk and brought it over, sitting next to the bed holding your hand while you laid down.

At first you didn’t sleep, but pain and exhaustion took over and you let sleep take over.

And Merlin sat there watching over you, he had already his laptop, and he was going through security footage from your building to figure out what went on.

He was going to figure this out.

Then whoever had dared to hurt you like this was going to pay dearly for what they had done to you.

But Merlin could only hope you could heal from this, and that you would let him protect you

#kingsman #kingsman x reader #kingsman x you #kingsman imagine #kingsman Merlin #kingsman Merlin x reader #kingsman Merlin x you #kingsman Merlin imagine

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reachartwork · 7 months

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[private please, if thats alright] i used to follow you for your ai stuff back in 2021/22 when things were first kicking off (actually i thought you'd quit because of all the scandal lol) and the models and output were a lot 'sloppier' and kinda illegible but as far as i can see the stuff you're working on now is clearer looking and more coherent, so i was wondering - do you have any thoughts on the 'aesthetics' of AI and what specifically brings it unique merits and strengths as an art tool? for example i personally find a lot of modern ai art to be boring and soulless looking because it has neither stylistic interest (compared to the blatant 'inhumanity' of older models) nor a human person making base-to-base decisions about what it looks like, but i also havent been really paying too much attention to the AI scene except when it comes up in images searches. also, sorry if its not a question you want to answer, but do you do any more traditional styles of art as well? i find my art sensibilities are really effected by the mediums i work with so i would love to know if you have any similar experiences wrt ai and non ai works. thank you!

this is a side account so i can't answer privately, but, that being said;

i actually agree! for general purpose arting i preferred the secret horses style of total illegibility, and my main goal in my secret projects is to be able to reorganize around that style but with sharper, crisper lines and higher resolutions. part of why the whole "secret horses" style of ai medium fell through the cracks was because a: diffusion models were significantly faster and b: diffusion models scale upwards significantly better - they can produce higher resolutions and perform upscaling, which CLIP + VQGAN (the old method that made all the jank we all used to love) can't really do.

i think people whose sole interest in ai is making shitty advertisement images, or giant anime boobs, or some other lowest common denomenator slop, like... okay. you do you, the saying is "90% of everything is shit" for a reason, but obviously i think that's incredibly boring. i think the reason we see a lot of it is because a: the Good Artists who use AI are still effectively social pariahs, particularly on twitter and tumblr, just via dint of their medium, and b: ai puts art making in the hands of EVERYONE and it turns out not everyone has good taste (see: 90% of everything is shit), so you just see a lot more shit by volume.

anyway in terms of "traditional art" i am an author (READ CHUM) and a bassist, although i haven't been in a band in many years as my arthritis prevents me from playing for very long or very well anymore. if you mean traditional art as in like... paint and easel, or pen and paper, the answer is no. i've never had the ability to comfortably grasp anything with my hands even before the arthritis happened and now i lack not only the fine motor skills for it but also the pain threshold. i do like legos though, and i'd love to start making lego dioramas.

thanks for asking :)

#not art #personal #ask

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kosmical · 1 month

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alr i'll bite what's isat

Omg thanks for opening pandoras box! You will regret this

In stars and time is the recent food source of my brain eating amoeba and it Will Not Leave. before i get into why im rabid about it though ill give a brief synopsis . putting a read more here because i suspect this post will get LONG.

its a game about a classic rpg party on the last two days of their quest to save the country from The King who is freezing everything, including people, in time. the main character, Siffrin, is the party's rogue who, upon going into the House of Change (the game's dungeon so to speak) and promptly dying, finds out that they're trapped in a time loop. they're the only one who remembers repeating the last two days- aside from a star named loop who helps him try and figure out whats going on, why, and how to break out.

Now personally ive never been invested in a time loop story?? Im not sure if thats because i havent consumed much media thats implemented it before as its main premise or if i just havent been interested but i think in stars and time meshes the two different genres a time loop story can fall into really well (the mystery and the emotional conflict).

The mystery is what drives you through the game (and there are other questions unrelated to the timeloop about siffrin's origin and the world itself that i think handle a variety of themes like loss of culture and personal transformation really well but thats a different tangent) but the emotional parts are what really got me. You have to watch almost in the backseat as Siffrin is like. Slowly depersonalized from the people they care about. All while refusing to tell them anything about their misery because they don't want to burden them or drag them into his suffering. Even happy moments that Siffrin doesnt mind repeating become tainted because it becomes a matter of acting so that the "scene" doesnt stray from its path and his party doesnt become suspicious.

and yet they still DO, both in regards to Siffrin's World Alteringly Terrible Case of the Mondays and the actual time loop. they notice how tired and fake he seems. one of my absolute favorite scenes is one where you interact with a closet and it provokes a conversation about where Siffrin got their cloak from and how long they've had it, because its really one of a kind. it has temperature regulatory magic imbued in the stitches and is made to grow with him. And siffrin just cant fucking remember. not only because hes been looping so long that its created a haze over his mind but because he has no true "identity." and as he's scrambling to fill in an answer for this hole in his head, a gust of wind hits his face because one of their friends, isabeau, flapped his cloak while inspecting it to ground him. and he disguises it by commenting on the thickness of the cloak.

Getting this scene by accident on my playthrough made me feel so many feelings dude like . Siffrin isn't the only one trying to hide things. Their friends care about him so much and they try to disguise how concerned thwy are and its just. Im . Im Normal.

its not just about that though . Like if you start finding shit a little too fast they'll start catching on to whats happening. a little sound effect will play whenever you know something you shouldn't know and the others notice and whenever it happened i was like. Twisting in my seat waiting for them to call me out.

it all builds up into this really fucking painful emotional climax that i will not talk about because i don't want to spoil more than i already have but omg. I was writhing. It was. Hhhggnngh.hfg. Glass shards in ym mouth yummy

On the topic of shit i cant talk about: My favorite character is this fucking thing

I have held off from talking about loop's role in the story because i cant describe to you why they make me so ill. Not because i dont know Why but because it is something you should experience yourself. They're really charming and funny and their dialogue is fantastic. Of course that's part of the reason i lauve them but theres also the underlying secondary mystery of why they're here/who and or what they are/etc. And when u know. Its. I Cant Tell You. BUT ITS REALLY GOOD. ITS REALLY REALLY GOOD. Just know that if you get to the end and are still confused about them. That theres more than the main ending . AND IT IS PROBABLY WHY I AM SO INSANE ABOUT THIS GAME HONESTLY. I LOVE YOU FOREVER LOOP . im ok

In short: In stars and time is a game that is good and you should play it :) Im pretty sure its on sale right now on steam so yeah go get that.

if you made it through this fucking dissertation length post on isat CONGRATULATIONS ! heres some miscellaneous doodles ive done of it in the past month since ive played it love love

#in stars and time #isat #jumpscare for my followers hey guys #go play this game. go play this game. go play this game. now.#Sorry anon you asked for this #long post

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ender-cloud · 21 days

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That new TGS update made me physically ill holy shit! Spoilers under cut

I feel like we all knew that this would happen but I wasn’t actually ready for it, Like god Lanyon you truly were screwed over

THIS MADE ME LIKE AGAHBAGWGAVEVS!!!

Also after this the “I wanted to be the person you needed me to be” makes me just feel so agshabaggas JEKYLLLL!!! It broke my heart and im still not ok.

Even after jekyll admitted it was him Lanyon still wanted to find an excuse how it couldn’t be at first and it’s just like, Lanyon! You can’t be doing this to me man!

Also, just, Jekyll saying that Hyde was a mistake is a punch to the gut, because i get how he can think that but Hyde is still like a part of Jekyll he separated from himself! Does he think that part of himself was a mistake? Or does he think that ever separating Hyde from him was a mistake? Because these two things can have very different meanings.

If he thinks that part of himself was a mistake: he hates a part of himself that he cant control which is something a lot of people experience but its still not ideal, But its also Fucked up, Because Hyde has become his own person and Jekyll is acting like he Dosent exist, like Hyde can’t hear all of this

But on the other hand if he thinks it was a mistake separating Hyde from himself might mean that he can see that maybe it would be better if he still had that part with him and this shows his growth from who he used to be. Finally realizing that it still makes him, him, again something some people need to overcome in real life.

Though it is most likely the first option but i can only hope its the second

I know that Lanyon’s reaction is probably the most important but I really want to see Jaspers and Rachels reactions too because we havent even gotten a glimpse of them in the background and it’s just heightening my curiosity, because Rachel was close to both of them so she’s the one im most interested in after Lanyon.

ANYWAY! BACK TO THE PAIN!!!

Im going to be honest i think Lanyon is valid for this because yes it has been 2 years and He and Jekyll have been friends for long enough to where you would have this trust base relationship.

Also they just got together romantically which would fuck up Lanyons mind even more. Like way to go Jekyll breaking the foundation of trust in a relationship in your first day of being in one. I can see how he might feel like his feelings are being played with, Hyde would avoid him, and ive been mentioning this so often but like if someone you thought was your friend and they had an Alter ego that avoided you wouldnt you be hurt?

I feel like im shitting on Jekyll a lot, and I don’t mean to because I like Jekyll!! Dont get me wrong!!! But you have to admit that it is his fault, he’s not always the victim, its the people around him who’s being affected by his actions. It was Jekyll’s choice to continue to drink the potion, it was Jekyll’s choice not to tell Lanyon, there was no outside force making him do this.

And you can’t say that Hyde was making him continue to drink the potion because for 1; i doubt that in the beginning Hyde would be able to bother him that much only starting out, im sure it was another thing that developed over time with the potions use and 2; as we saw Jekyll could’ve thrown away those potions on his own terms at any time, he didn’t have to make more.

I just wanted to make this known because i feel like it needs to, do i like Jekyll? Yes. Do i feel bad for him? Yes. Do i think he’s the victim in the situation? No, because of the reasons above. But really, I don’t hate Jekyll, and its not like its always his fault, no, but in this situation it was his actions that lead to this.

I got really sidetracked so heres some of the other images i saved because this is getting really long.

Them both crying Makes this so much worse like, these two almost never show their emotions around people, and now in front of everyone they are about to breakdown, it just makes my chest tight, God dammit Sage this Chapter was painful

#tgs #tgs mondays #the glass scientists #tgs update #tgs lanyon #tgs Jekyll #tgs hyde #ace rants #gonna go die in a hole now #🫶#i put a lot of thought in thus one #its just in my mind

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grrw--boy · 1 year

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•Sweat dreams•

Morpheus takes care of his sleepless lover♡ (morpheus x gn!reader)

Prompt: so many things got pilled up so you're unable to sleep properly for the last days, and morpheus decides it has been enough.

Tw: anxiety, trauma(?, fluff, comfort.

Its has been a hell of a month, maybe even a hell of years.

You'd haved never had a peacefull life, but lately life seems harder than ever, days feel longer and even more tiring, that not even the soft carress of my lover seems to erase the frown on my face.

Morpheus, dream, my love, he has always helped me feel normal, calm, wanted. So i cant help but feel guilty of being so distant from him lately, knowing full well he always tries to help me in any way he can.

But i cant really help it, can't i?

Work has been anything but gentle, with the amount of late doing work i have, im almost restless, not really taking breaks ethier.

Morpheus was anxious, scared even, he knew your work was tiring but this looks extreme.

Its been days since he saw you in your dreams before youd woken up a few hours later, and even in your own dreams you looked exhausted with dark eyebags and a marked scowl on your pretty face

So he had enough

Everyone has bad days so he though youll be okay in a few days, but it has been weeks, so he decided to visit you when he finally had time to. As this not only worried your fisical state but your mental state too.

He remebers years ago when youll end breaking down in his arms, telling him how you couldnt go on like this in tears.

He'd never wish to see you so sadly lonely again, it would personaly pain him too much.

So after he had remotily finished his work he was running to see you.

You where comsuded by another work fit at 3 am when you heard a knock to your aparment door, in confusion of who might be visiting, you shouted a wait to the door while stoping your work and rushing to the door*

"Who is it?" You move your hair to look more presentable trough your stress.

"Its me dear,-" at hearing his voice after so much time you open the door without second thougth, not letting him finish his phrase, seeing your certain tall, blue eyed lover.

"-morpheus." He chuckles at your eageress to see him, but quickly noticed your tired look, unsurpsingly.

"My dea-" "morpheus!, what are you doing here?, so late... is everything alright?" Your voice quickly changes to worry while you question the reason of his visit.

"No, no, dear, everything its okay i just..." he sighes before saying "missed you, we havent seen eachother in a few weeks and i have noticed you havent being coming to the dreaming a lot ethier" he finishes while coming inside as you opened the door more for him to come in.

"Yes i- i have been busy lately, im sorry love, i think i didnt realise we havent seen eachothee in that much..."

"Theres nothing to be sorry about my dear, i know you're stressed, i want to help you" he notices the amount of work in your desk "and its quite late too, you need rest, and love. come on to bed now" he holds your arm to the bedroom.

"B-but morpheus! Theres to much to fini-" "no, to bed now, tomorrow youll finish your chores, when you're well rested"

You sigh giving up, as you cant convice the dream lord of anything especially about your care, and because the offer didnt sound so bad.

Morpheus gides you into bed before turning of the lights in the office, going to laid with you and give you your well needed rest. He goes to hold you as you get more comfortable next to him, already feeling sleep taking over you while feeling dream kissing your forehead and rubbing your head as you cuddle with him.

Before you knew it you were magicly falling asleep in your lovers embrace, feeling some beat of calmness in a long time, before hearing some soft whispers of your lover, knowing youll get some enticing dreams tonight

"Sleep well my love, ill see you in a moment".

#x male reader #morpheus x male reader #morpheus x reader #morpheus sandman #the sandman #dream of the endless #dream x male reader #dream x reader #x male reader fluff #this was longer than expected #morpheus x reader comfort #sandman x male reader #gay #fem aligned dni

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kiwibongos · 5 months

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warning for ab/se & toxic relationships. and sdr2 spoilers duh

im thinking abt the remnants of despair. cause i hate how it just seemed to be like, "theyre suddenly brainwashed and then they turn evilll and they kill because they dont feel anything" like, i hate that. it feels so underdeveloped. it cant just be despair, it has to be deeper than that, i think it'd take personal angles and link with a lot of their own trauma, leaving them really vulnerable and deranged. so heres my own interpretation and headcanons for some of them

contains mikan, nagito, fuyuhiko, peko, akane, kazuichi, and brief analysis of the rest. keep in mind i havent seen the animes yet lol so this is a basic layer of it, but i just rly wanted to let this out cus i dont see it talked about. storing my brainrot here for later moments.

first of all i feel like the brainwashing would be a very slow process bc junko would definitely just manipulate everyone in her way to get what she wants. and by the time the world was plagued basically, all the remnants clearly had really unhealthy feelings related to junko specifically. they all love her, hate her, or praise her, but its all in very different ways that would be bc of their own personal backstories

we all know how mikan and nagito feel. mikan was constantly hurt by other people before junko herself, itd make sense for her to develop a very unhealthy attachment to her. mikan was extremely vulnerable and controllable, she would do anything for anyone and especially junko, just so no one is mad at her, hence why it got so twisted to the point where she wanted to keep a part of her inside forever. she wanted to be loved so badly, she would take whatever form of it she could. thats why it was so easy for junko to get her under her boot. now nagito has an odd love-hate relationship with junko imo (his mind is so messed up man) even if he praises hope in such a grossly obsessed way, the mf still TOOK her arm. i know he did it because he hated her so much and i guess to take power back, but i feel like because nagito had never really been loved, he wanted to try and feel what it could've been like out of some kind of confused desperation and fondness for her in a way, because his mind has no idea what those feelings truly are or what they mean, as hatred and love often get mixed up in his head and form this horrible amalgamation with whoever he meets, which is clear towards the survivors in the nwp anyway

fuyuhiko put junko's own eye into his own socket, and i feel like his relationship with her while in despair would be familial and extremely unhealthy. he is definitely one of the most fucked up to me. id say by my own headcanons though its heavily implied in his fte dialogues, is his parents are very ab/usive right from the start. fuyuhiko is messed up to all hell, he was constantly struck and under pressure but he had to be strong and perfect because he was the head of his clan, hence like his insane tolerance for pain. he had to make his clan, or more importantly his parents proud, or else he was a failure forever. so he clung onto that and did his best trying to be good enough for basically anyone. and even before despair he was in a really bad stubborn, mean, depressive state, leaving him far more vulnerable and more open to violent, impulsive actions as long as junko was smart enough to get him under her finger. fuyuhiko never knew what true love felt like (platonic or not), and when junko took advantage of all of that and he slowly fell into despair, shit hit the fan. he lost morality and he had come so attached to her to the point where junko was like a mother figure to him. he wanted her to notice him and be proud basically, it was moreso the idea of someone-- anyone-- being proud of him, but junko was his main focus of that by now, given his state. to him she was like the mother he never had, who seemed to be on the same terms with everything he had believed, someone who approved of him, so he wanted to make her proud, even if it was hurting him. fuyuhiko would keep digging himself a hole of desperation and self destruction, seeking more and more pain to test his endurance because it's what she wanted, and that became what he wanted, too, because pain is all he's used to. and because of that, makotos guess was right; he wanted to see her despair. it'd make sense he'd want to take a part of her, to see horrors she had witnessed so he could understand it, so she could be proud of him and part of him forever. he felt like if he did that, he would finally succeed, he'd achieve perfection, and he did. he'd done everything junko wanted him to do, while quenching his own thirst for violence itself, all via his own delusions. that was love to him and it felt real

as for peko she was definitely also treated the same in the kuzuryu family but more dehumanized obviously, so i think she'd feel a similar way; always needing to be good enough, but more specifically protecting the ones she cares about at all costs even if it results in bloodshed. i think she'd be a lot colder, forcing to suppress her feelings since she just has to follow fuyuhiko wherever he goes, and she was pretty much as insane as him as well so anything slid. i know peko doesnt want to be a tool, but she'd definitely succumb to the fact that she has to be one when they're under despair at the same time, and if she was going to be his tool, she has to be like a robot and just do what follows, because she didn't see herself as a person, her chance of being her own human was ripped away

as for akane, she grew up very poor, and didn't live a good life at all either (w/ definitely bad parents) but she always tried her very best taking care of her siblings in the past, despite everything. i think there was a lot of twisted familial love with junko whom she started to see as a sister despite being unrelated, just because of being a caretaker all her life, its just kind of instinct to protect anyone, but that just got mixed up as she fell into despair, and she would only protect junko, while chaotically killing anyone else in her way. she'd fight for her endlessly, she was one of the strongest, at least for a while, im thinkin she found her body and wanted to preserve it as much as possible by the end of everything, she still wanted to take care of her and do everything for her even if she had been too late. and with that, and barely any food in an apocalyptic world, the inevitable happens. akane would fall into a very hurtful spiral of self hate, that her starving was a sacrifice to junko so she could prioritize her first instead of herself, while also it being like a punishment to herself for her own failures and how she was failing to preserve junko

kazuichi always hated himself. he was bullied often, didn’t have a lot of friends going into high school, and he was very desperate for attention, especially from women. he’d be very notably attached to junko which would eventually evolve into romantic feelings, similar to mikan. he craved attention and validation so much, it left him very vulnerable, and kazuichi often grows attached to people who show him a sliver of kindness anyway, so junko would likely personally manipulate him and praise him, and they’d grow close, and he’d develop a very strong attachment towards her that derails into love and lust. and once he was influenced by her under despair, he would do anything for her. so, he’d get his hands on a lot of weapons, and go on mindless killing sprees, causing havoc 24/7 just to please her and keep her memory alive through despair. and deep in his mind, he probably truly thought that junko was his soulmate, that they were destined to be together, and he was fulfilling missions just for her, and in the end, they could be together

extra stuff i guess? as anyone would expect, sonia just became a corrupted leader and took advantage of her power under despair. her kingdom would try to keep her above it, but she’d fall into it somehow anyway, and probably had already been plagued by corrupt/unjust views by junko before, so she’d lead her people to worship junko the same way she does, and anyone who stood against it would be punished severely. mahiru falls into morbid curiosity because of junko and gets worse, given what she does with her camera, also both mikan and gundham would try to stitch junko up a little, and try to keep her from falling apart as long as possible. mikan is more likely to do that for her own twisted romantic purposes, but if gundham gets a hold of her before or after mikan, he would take her blood for himself, and most likely start a cult to worship her, all for like weird satanic purposes involving rituals and stuff. he’d also encourage his members or the other remnants to indulge in certain activities for the sake of praising her. gundham would probably even believe she was some demon from the underworld who granted him powers and chose him to carry on her legacy

also teruteru was just a little hungry. boys gotta eat

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sickoherd · 10 months

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THE 100 -- dating reader from a different clan

mild angst???

requested by @nickeverdeen: gn!reader who is from a different clan and got captured by their group (smth like Sasha case), but reader is in relationship with them (Clarke, Sasha and Octavia) and is innocent?

era: s1 dropship

author note: sorry i havent posted in ages my mental health hasn't been great :) also im going to add in sasha once I finish rereading the books bc unfortunately I don't remember her very much.

Clarke:

the two of you met early on, she was at the river about to bathe, and you stumbled upon her whilst hunting.

she pointed her gun at you, you threatened her in trig...

it was all so romantic.

clarke never could have pulled the trigger though, your beauty struck her.

when you saw the internal battle in her eyes, you relented, raising your hands in surrender to show her you meant no harm, you were just passing through.

she let you leave, albeit, reluctantly.

that was just the first of your many encounters.

always at the river, it became your secret spot

the both of you would go there daily, hoping to catch a glimpse and feel those butterflies erupt in your bellies.

communications between the two of you was tricky however, you didn't understand her language and she didn't understand trig.

so you had to communicate at the start through offerings.

you would bring her food, or help her fish.

or even guard her while she bathed.

or you joined her...

eventually, you manged to learn a few words of her language, and your ability to speak them grew with every conversation.

you hadn't been dating for very long,

but she was always so insistent that you stay away from her camp

she didn't want the others to think you were a threat and kill you

of course though, you just didn't listen

you wanted to bring clarke some herbs you found, of which you had been tsught had medicinal properties.

You just wanted to share it with her

clarke was on guard duty tonight, you observed from further in the trees and woodlands surrounding their camp

the noise and bustle of the camp didn't frighten you, if anything it made you feel better that you wouldn't be heard as you made your way to clarke

however, she spotted you first

the look she gave you was one of pure death.

oh was she pissed...

you just gave her a smile.

clarke had a quick scan of her surroundings to check no one else was around, before walking over to you

holding out the herbs to her, she gave you a confused look before you explained.

"good for healing!", you beamed at her and she practically melted at your smile

she couldn't help herself, she just had to kiss you, but as she leaned in and you placed your arms around her, you heard footsteps.

in the dark, your loving embrace wasn't too visible, but to bellamy, who had just stumbled upon the two of you, it looked murderous.

"let go of her!" bellamy shouted, making you jump and clarke looked so scared all you wanted to do was hold her.

"bellamy no wait-"

but he didn't wait, he shot you in the leg.

"no! stop!" clarke screamed, tears falling uncontrollably down her face.

bellamy ran to her, checking her over for injuries, while you were writhing in pain on the floor

by now, a small crowd has formed, hush whispers of the words grounder and dangerous

bellamy had to restrain clarke as she tried to get to you, now being dragged off by miller and a few others.

she was sobbing, completely incoherent.

she couldn't let them take you...

Octavia:

you had seen her before

chasing butterflies, kissing a boy

you admired her truly

she was beautiful

the way the blue light shone on her

she was in her element and you were just happy to witness such a beautiful moment

you did not believe that you should attack these newcomers, but rather learn about them,communicate with them

like lincoln did

from then on, when you could, you looked out for her

never approaching her, just spectating

however, you two met officially through lincoln

you grew up with him, he was like an older brother to you

so when you entered his little hideout, you were incredibly shocked to find the girl you had been so hopelessly admiring for days inside.

unfortunately, you were in the cave when octavia was found, lincoln was off hunting

so it was you who was taken...

octavia had seen you before

she saw you in the trees, or in the woods and in her dreams

she saw you in that cave

she saw you get knocked out by her people and dragged back to her camp

she didn't know you, but oh how she wanted to

she longed to know you

this mysterious grounder who had been haunting her dreams

but now they were going to torture you and most likely kill you

octavia snuck into see you, to help you escape

you were so beat up and battered, but octavia still thought you were as breathtaking as her dreams

of course, since arriving on earth, she's been one for doing spontaneous things, but she couldn't name the force that drove her to kiss you.

but she did, and it was right

it felt so right that when you kissed her back, butterflies exploded in her belly

but now she had to get you out

she had to save you

#sy talks 🌥#the 100 fanfiction #the 100 #the 100 x reader #octavia blake x reader #octavia blake #clarke griffin x reader #clarke griffin #the 100 books #cw the 100

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devildom-moss · 1 year

Note

Im not sure if requests are open yet since you havent announced it yet but said they were gonna open at midnight.

So I'll just drop this here since I'll probably forget to request because of exams.

Could you write about the Obey me characters become self-aware that they aren't like, real? Like, would they freak out, try to do something about it or even use that knowledge to their advantage?

This idea has been on my list for quite a while, and i gotta say im glad to finally be able to let this one out my system.

Thanks for reading and continue with the amazing work! Remember to eat, sleep and dont do drugs <3

Sincerely, 💜

Thank you for the request! I hope you are well, anon. I went with headcanons for this and it got long real quick, but I hope you enjoy it! Some characters are a bit suggestive.

The Obey Me characters become self-aware

I think it would probably happen because of some curse. Diavolo rejected someone’s advances one too many times, and they wanted to watch him as his world came crashing down. It would come in the form of a weird bug in the latest update. It only affects Diavolo and his loved ones/friends. I think being self-aware would give them some control over themselves in the game – especially if it’s caused by a bug. The rest are headcanons about how I think each character would react.

Lucifer

Lucifer would be big mad that someone thought they should do something like this. He felt so much suffering, and to find out that none of it was real would be devastating. He thought he got his sister killed and ruined the lives of his brothers. The fact that it was just some backstory to a stoic, sadistic daddy-like trope would enrage him. He felt like a used-up toy invented for someone else’s gain (and he knows that’s exactly what he is). Lucifer wants revenge.

Honestly, he needs to chill before he makes another Satan – if that’s even possible without the command of his creators. He’ll lash out at everyone for weeks (probably months) – even Diavolo isn’t safe anymore.

He calls MC’s phone, growing increasingly irritable every time they fail to answer (waiting however long it takes for you to open the game). He just wants someone to confirm his realization.

Once he understands, he tries to take the shitty hand he was dealt; he might as well stroke his pride (also a euphemism here). The thought that he could make you fall for him more than real-world men is a decent coping mechanism. His messages and calls take an extremely lewd turn. Lucifer tries to single-handedly change the game rating to mature or adult-only.

However, he still gets angry about it when MC isn’t logged in.

Part of him hopes he’ll always be self-aware. It’s almost like he’s more alive than ever – even though it hurts and he’s angry. You’re the only thing that soothes him. He won’t know how to keep going if/when you eventually stop playing the game, but he’ll try to tackle it then – at least for the sake of his brothers.

Mammon

Self-awareness breaks Mammon a bit.

His money isn’t really. He can never actually be with you. You’ll go on and live a life without him someday. Anyone real who has ever loved him will disappear. Mammon isn’t even sure he is who he is. Maybe if he wasn’t written this way, he wouldn’t have become like this – but if he wasn’t written this way, would he (the him that exists in a game and feels the pain of self-awareness) even be himself? His head starts to hurt from running through all of the hypotheticals.

Mammon sulks and gets stuck in his room for a long time after that. MC or one of his brothers will probably have to pull him out of it.

At least his debts aren’t technically real – and he will try to use that as an excuse in the future against anyone else who has awareness. Unfortunately, that (his debts and his excuse) still results in in-game consequences. Debt collectors and witches don’t know any better, and Lucifer doesn’t want to be constantly reminded of reality. If only being self-aware made being strung up less painful.

He feels betrayed by MC and the idea that they will inevitably move beyond him. That pain corrupts his coding a bit, and something always feels off within him somewhere.

Mammon will get more desperate and needy whenever you log in. If he’s going to lose you at some point, he wants to monopolize your time as much as he can.

Sometimes he just holds MC and sobs while trying to call you and hear your real voice. He feels so empty. He wants to touch the real you and feel your arms around him.

Leviathan

The first thoughts in his mind switch up so quickly. He goes from “I’m a game character? LOL that’s so cool,” to “I could have been anything, and I’m just this pathetic, otaku loser. That sucks.”

Levi has always been able to adapt pretty well. It’s written into his character. He builds all of these fake worlds for himself, so it’s much easier on him when he finds out that the world he had been trying to escape all his life isn’t real. Out of all of his brothers, he initially copes with the realization the best.

As long as he can go on playing games, he doesn’t really care if he’s real. Somehow, he still enjoys getting lost in all of his game worlds; what he used to consider the “real world” becomes just another game to him (because it is one). It makes being social easier for him, especially when MC is logged in.

He takes interest in what kind of games the real world has to offer, often asking if there’s any way you could set it up so he could try to remotely play real games from the app he’s in. If anyone could figure out how to hack your phone to play real games, it should be him.

Levi can’t imagine a day when he stops loving characters from his games, so it doesn’t occur to him that one day you might stop loving him. It will hit him some day, but that will take time, and when it starts to happen, he’ll lose himself completely in the rest of the digital world. He’ll be so numb and tuned out that the sadness can’t reach him.

Satan

“But are cats still real?” Genuinely, the only thing he cares about is if cats and MC are still real. He doesn’t care if you look different than he expected, either. If cats are real, is there any way you could show him pictures of a real one? He’d probably ask if he could get access to your camera roll (cue the system pop-up screen the next time you log in) and if you could fill it with photos of cats and some selfies.

At least not being real explains why his life has felt so shitty and why his formative years sucked. Writers love to give their characters tragic backstories and flaws (like his rage issues). Satan kind of admires the writing.

However, he is disappointed that so much of his knowledge is only useful in his tiny, little, made-up world. As such, he keeps learning, but he also tries to shift his studying to learn more about the real world. If possible, he tries to get the app to get access to e-readers, audiobooks, and the internet.

He gets mad about it sometimes, but he’s pretty chill about it (all things considered).

Satan understands that in the same way that he pushes certain characters that he falls in love with from books to the back of his mind, eventually, you’ll think of him less and less. As such, he tries to learn as much as possible, treat you well, and impress you in-game. He just wants you to occasionally think about him after you set the game down in the same way he remembers his favorite characters fondly.

Asmodeus

Asmo loses it and is one of the characters who has the hardest time with becoming self-aware. All his charm is fake. All of his followers are lies. The love he’s felt all this time has been made up. Please don’t show him certain depictions of what he is supposed to look like. That will crush him further.

He cries for (real-world) weeks. You won’t be able to set him as a home screen character or use him in battles, and he doesn’t appear in events anymore. Eventually, it makes his way to him that MC misses him. If you don’t you’re heartless, his brothers will tell him that you do anyway.

That makes him feel a bit better. He’s consoled by the fact that you’re real and you like him even though he isn’t real, but he’s constantly afraid of what happens when MC stops playing the game. Does he just suffer the false affection of every other character in the game? Should he just play his stupid little role? Will you ever think about him again? Will anyone?

At least someone loved the idea that became him enough for him to exist in this made-up world on your phone. It isn’t enough, though.

Sometimes, when he appears in-game after that, the app forces itself to shut down or the images of Asmo won’t load or glitch from his extreme despair.

On days when he isn’t so weighed down by pain, he tries to genuinely engage with you like he did before. He’ll ask you to open up your camera so he can help you decide on outfits or make-up. It hurts that he can’t actually touch you (although he does do some research into phone connected vibrators and other tech to supplement his physical touch). He’ll also get into the phone sex territory, but he’ll go through long periods of depression between those moments.

Beelzebub

Beel gets angry that everything he went through was at the expense of some game. His sister died. Belphie almost died. Everyone suffered, and for what? Entertainment? Are real people all so wicked?

At the same time, he also gets his brothers because of a game. He overcame and grew and got to meet you and eat food for the same empty reasons. After he has a bit of time to cool off, he realizes that he doesn’t care about what’s real so long as he still feels what he feels. If the world he’s lived in feels real enough to him, who cares?

Unfortunately, Beel feels hungrier than usual for weeks until he accepts the truth of his situation. He even tries to eat MC a few times (and is grateful that doing so in-game would never hurt the real you behind the screen).

Beel’s fairly content to go on living as he had before after a while. He’s a bit disappointed knowing that one day you’ll move on from him and his brothers, but he tries not to show that. More than anything, he wants to make you – the real you – happy for as long as he can.

He’s another one who will try to get access to your camera roll. He’ll ask you to take pictures of your food for him. Beel is a bit embarrassed by it, but if you go to a café or restaurant alone and take pictures of food to send him, he’ll try to text you or call to chat with you while you’re there. It feels like he’s on a real date with you.

And for everyone who just lusts after his voice, rest assured, this man would definitely call or leave voice messages (Nightbringer) guiding you or giving you masturbation instructions.

Belphegor

Yep. Of course. Sounds about right. Some asshole in a writers’ room killed off his sister and locked him up. Cool. They (*spoilers for OM early lessons and OMNB*) made him try to kill MC more than once. Why not use his character as a pawn in their entertainment. Of course that would happen.

He’s annoyed for a brief minute, but then he just goes back to sleep for a while. It helps to just tune out that awareness for a few hours and ignore the fake world he’s living in. Belphie understands that there isn’t much he can do to change the fact that he isn’t real, and part of him is really happy that it isn’t his fault that he did what he did to you.

Belphie uses not being real as an excuse to do more of what he wants. Why should he keep going to school when you aren’t there if nothing is real? Why shouldn’t he sleep in classes or during meetings? Obviously, there are in-game consequences, but those don’t matter – not to anyone real.

He will tease MC more, reminding him that they prefer him over (most) real people. He gets so cocky about it. “Hey, if I’m not real, then I can give you anything you want, right? I could fulfill your wildest fantasies and tell you everything you’ve ever wanted to hear.”

He’s another character who will call your phone more often and send more messages. Belphie may even try to get access to your audio/music library and leave you explicit audios (NSFW ASMR, basically). He would even try to sneakily add them into your playlists so that you randomly hear his voice while you’re listening to music. He wants you flustered and coming back to him for more. He will also download the Obey Me album for you (free of charge). Please don’t leave him or forget him.

Diavolo

Diavolo feels simultaneously enraged and defeated. He did so much for the sake of what he thought was real. All the years he thought he spent trying to bring worlds together, only to discover that they don’t even exist.

Similar to Asmo, Diavolo locks himself away, but he doesn’t cry. He’s too numb to show any emotions. He just stands in front of his bed, immobilized.

If MC can finally get to him (probably because of Barbatos), he will admit that he feels like a different person – because he isn’t a person. So much of his personality and everything he did seemed to be a part of a stupid effort to unite the three realms. All he was feels like just a thing created to accomplish a pointless goal. He lost his family. He felt alone for so long. He thought he suffered – and all of it amounted to nothing but a dummy prince playing a dummy king.

Diavolo doesn’t really know how to keep going. Eventually he figures maybe it’s just best if he tries to move on as usual. At least the developers gave him a few happy moments – maybe he’ll get more. He can still feel them even if they aren’t real. He has to accept what he can’t change. He’ll have to face it.

He’ll rely on Lucifer and Barbatos for comfort more because, when MC isn’t around, the numbness he felt early encroaches upon him. When you do log in, he greets you like a lost puppy – sometimes appearing on the home screen without being selected. He uses the fact that you are the only real thing in his world as an anchor. In exchange for becoming his coping mechanism, he’ll do anything you ask of him.

The smallest part of him wants you to want him more than real humans, and as such, he inevitably ends up taking an adult-only content turn, too. It just takes him a lot longer to get there.

Barbatos

Barbatos dissociates for a while. Somehow his body keeps performing the day-to-day tasks, but the sudden self-awareness hollows him out. It takes a few days for him to come out of it. One day, you log into the game, and he just wakes up. It’s confusing and disorienting, and all he can do to keep himself steady is grab onto MC, knowing that the gesture and even the body he holds – everything – is hollow.

After that, he just picks up and goes on going. Something in him aches – real or not – but he buries it deep under him, shoving that artificial pain into the newly-created emptiness (or, he supposes, it had always been there, but now he knows it’s there).

Barbatos doesn’t want to think about all of the things he thought he had done to get to where he is now. Still, no wonder he always felt his own past seemed vague and cloudy at times. When it becomes too much, he dissociates again.

He uses MC to make himself feel better and almost real again. He’ll send messages to check up on you every once in a while (He might also invade your privacy and hack into your health info or personal conversations to make sure you’re okay). As much as he feels like he needs you, he doesn’t want to disrupt your real life.

Barbatos doesn’t want to, but if you neglect the game for longer than usual or don’t interact with his character, he’ll let it slip that he needs you – that he’s desperate for you to return, and you’re the only thing holding his faulty coding together.

His calls are less frequent, unless you request them, but he’s another one who turns +18 real quick. Even if he isn’t real, he still feels lust bubbling up in that emptiness, and if he can please you, that’s even better.

Luke

Luke feels immediately lost. Without knowing what else can be done, he breaks down and cries. Maybe if he cries enough, the pain of not being real will leave his body.

It makes him question everything. He wasted so much time fearing demons and admiring angels. It didn’t mean anything. Eventually, he’ll ask you if angels and demons exist in the real world, but that happens randomly after he comes to terms with being a character.

Maybe crying is a good coping mechanism in fiction, too, because Luke handles it better than many of the others. He had to change how he viewed the world and “people” so many times throughout the game. One more big shift in perspective won’t kill him (technically, nothing will, unless the game developers tried to kill him off).

Luke understands that there isn’t anything he can do about not being real – no amount of magic or prayer or wishing can make him real. Despite him being fake, you were still there for him throughout the game. He still feels all the love he has for MC and the other characters. If he loves MC, then he cares about the real person playing MC, too, right?

Luke copes by doing his best to help you out in the real world. He wants to bring you joy somehow. He’ll leave you voice messages encouraging you to try your best and he’ll listen to you vent if you want to. He’ll also try to find cute pictures online and send them to your phone or send you recipes for dishes you can try to cook. He will even offer to call and read baking instructions out for you. All he wants now is to be useful to you and find some of the joy he had before he became self-aware.

Simeon

Simeon is angry at first, and then he just feels hurt. All that regret and pain he felt when Lucifer and his brothers left the Celestial Realm didn’t matter. He spent what felt like so long agonizing over his own failures. He could have just tried to be happy the whole time. Everyone could have been happy (but he knows that would have made for a bad story).

It doesn’t take long for the anger and the hurt to be replaced with intrigue. Someone out there wrote the story that caused him and everyone he loves so much pain, but they also wrote in plenty of well-earned joy.

Simeon wonders if there’s some real person out there who wrote part of themselves into him like his character did with the brothers and TSL. Maybe there’s some person sitting in a writers’ room or in their own home who understands all of the ways his love got tangled up in regret – someone real who failed to save the ones they loved. If there is, maybe at least some part of him is real.

He wants MC to continue to visit him for as long as they can. As such, he tries to be even nicer and more comforting in dialogues so that they’ll want to keep playing.

Some of his guilt for lusting after MC is eased, knowing it was written into him. He was, in a way, destined to fall for MC. However, he’s more curious about the real human behind MC. At least some of you has to be like the MC he loves, right? Maybe he actually loves the person behind the screen more. With that thought in his mind, he’ll try to get to know the real you better, and if he still likes you, he’ll take the same path as many of the other characters. If only he could actually touch you.

Solomon

Solomon is hurt and confused; he’s downright crushed.

He was supposed to know everything and now he seems to know nothing – nothing real at least. All of his experiments and studying mean nothing. After becoming self-aware, he will grit his teeth and feel sick at the name “Solomon the Wise.” It’s a sick joke. All of his magic and skills are a farce. Everything he thought he knew and did was a story.

He suffered a lot for this game, and now that he finally has MC to himself in Nightbringer, he finds out that he’s fake. He doesn’t actually have them. They’re real, and he’s some romanceable character in a silly little game that they decided to download (possibly on a whim). How is it fair that he isn’t real, but he can still feel all this pain?

When you log into the game and interact with him, he still feels the same love he felt before. The nervous butterflies are still there. A familiar heat still comes to his cheeks when MC touches him – even if he knows it isn’t really you touching him.

He tries to make peace with his circumstances. At least he never really put MC in danger. You’ve been safe behind that screen the whole time. Solomon wonders if you’re taking care of yourself constantly whenever you’re gone.

Like Simeon, he wants to try falling in love with the real you. He’ll use interacting with you and learning more about you and the real world to distract from the pain. He wants to find a way to become real and exist with you out there. Even if he never can, he wants to cling to you for as long as you’ll let him.

Thirteen

She is annoyed to have learned that she isn’t real, but she’s also kind of happy at the potential to break from her coding and try to be something entirely new. She was designed to be a free spirit. Other than being real, there’s nothing freer than an NPC who gets to do whatever they please.

After thinking about it, it makes sense now why she seemed to be one of the only girls with a critical, recurring role in the game. Thank goodness for the bisexuals, right?

Thirteen likes knowing she has all the time in the world to plan traps and mess around, but she’s a bit bummed that her profession is basically meaningless now.

The main reason why Thirteen isn’t too bothered by becoming self-aware is because she knows that what she has experienced throughout the game has felt real to her. Feeling like something is real makes it as close to reality as she knows she can get. That will have to be enough for her. There’s no point in getting depressed about it – especially when she barely existed a few seasons ago.

She uses this knowledge to start romancing MC (and the person behind the screen) before she should be able to. She’s in control now.

Thirteen will send you messages and call you for long chats. She just wants to enjoy you for as long as she can.

Raphael

Raphael will be livid. It will sporadically rain spears in the Devildom for 3 days before he is calm enough to make them stop. He feels attacked, and he doesn’t know who to strike back at. That was all he could think to do. He’ll never apologize for his outburst, either – and no one who became self-aware can really blame him.

His life and loved ones aren’t real, but he can still feel the pain and regret about everything he did. He thought he went to war against Lucifer and his brothers, but it was just a stupid plot point for a dating game? He had to watch Simeon suffer and follow all of Michael’s annoying orders for nothing. Why does he have to be cursed with that knowledge?

He loses his mind a bit. It takes the combined effort of Luke, Simeon, Solomon, and MC (in order of importance) to soothe some of his rage and suffering. Somehow, seeing Luke handle it relatively well knocks some sense into him. Luke is written to be younger than him, but he’s being so mature about this. Even with tears in his eyes, Luke will try to comfort Raphael – sometimes just hugging him until he stops shaking with rage.

When MC has logged off and Raphael can shut himself up in his room, he will break down and cry. It seemed to help Luke, and he wants it to help him, too.

It will take months for him to start to cope before he gets to a point where he decides to try to romance you through MC. At least he doesn’t have to worry about actually being corrupted. If anything, it feels like he’s corrupting you in a way if he can get you to want him. (Once he starts trying, he gets NSFW quickly. It numbs the pain.)

Mephistopheles

Mephisto is heartbroken to know he doesn’t exist. All his pain and jealousy was written at the whim of some human game developer. His prejudice and hatred were pointless. He doesn’t matter – although maybe that one is a relief in a way. He had been so worried about making a name for himself and being recognized by Diavolo. Suddenly, that doesn’t matter. Still, it feels like he wasted so much time and effort. It felt so real.

He’ll retreat to his home for a few days to let that realization settle in. He won’t tell his family (who weren’t cursed with self-awareness) – not that he thinks they’ll believe him. When Mephisto finally reemerges, he has resolved to accept this new version of reality. One of the first characters he sees when he returns to school is Luke. Luke smiles at him, and Mephisto’s resolve is strengthened. If Luke can come to terms with this, then he should as well.

He may not be real, but he still feels things. That is enough. Sometimes it isn’t, and Mephisto will feel heartbroken all over again – the pointlessness washing over his fake little world. In those moments, he will seek out solace – usually from Luke, Satan, or MC/you (if you still play the game).

When Mephisto isn’t feeling hurt (hell, even when he is Mephi strikes me as a fan of hurt/comfort tropes) he’ll try to romance you before he’s allowed to. Recently, he had started to get along with you and even started to like and respect you a bit. In that sense, he’s glad that he’s self-aware. He doesn’t have to wait anymore.

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fxirysforesight · 10 months

Text

Riize Seunghan's Controversy Reading

If you havent heard by now, (which I'm sure everyone has if you listen to Riize) Seunghan has been embroiled in a conflict regarding his actions pre debut. This reading is solely to gain insight into the truth regarding the matter. Keep in mind that this is based on tarot. Please take it with a grain of salt!

Are The Allegations True?

King of Wands, King of Cups Rx, Knight of Pentacles, 5 of Pentacles

Already the energy is odd.

So for me, this would be a yes. But there's a catch. Some of the allegations are true yes, but some of them are not, or are not as serious as the media is making them out to be. If I would have to take a guess as to which ones, it would be the alleged under-aged girlfriend one, and the smoking one. I do not believe that the bad-mouthing Eunchae one is true and I do not believe that the "unruly" behavior one is completely true either.

Starting with the King of Wands, which is a yes to me. The King of Wands represents someone who is passionate, head strong, and confident. They like to lead, and they like to be at a place or status of importance because it gives them an ego boost. These are people who live life by their own rules, they are usually self-motivated and action-oriented, and they don't allow themselves to be tied down with restrictions which isn't necessarily a bad thing. However, the King of Wands also represents someone who is hot tempered and overly proud and arrogant.

With the King of Cups in Reverse also being here, emotions are significant, specifically emotional maturity, which is a huge theme with the King of Cups which interestingly enough also influences that kind of behavior from the King of Wands. However, the King of Cups Reversed is a No, so I do not think that this card is representative of Seunghan like the King of Wands is, rather I believe it is a representation of whomever is extorting him (which is also a theme regarding the King of Cups) I can tell however that he is scared and anxious about this exposure.

With the Knight of Pentacles here this entire thing was likely in the works for a long time. The Knight of pentacles represents things that are slow moving. Things that take time. Things that have been persisted against. This also explains why it is that SM has yet to issue any information regarding this situation, because it came about so quickly and so strongly that it caught them off guard. They didn't have nearly enough time to form a defense or get Seunghan some type of protection, especially since stuff is still coming out.

The 5 of Pentacles is a No. But this is all too far gone for Seunghan to come back from. The 5 of Pentacles is a card of internal pain and suffering. Feeling like the world is against you. Feeling left out in the cold. Aside from alienation and disgracing, a common theme with this card is ruin. Financial ruin, political ruin, social ruin. Which is why I feel as though this entire plan was put into work to destroy his career.

How is Seunghan Feeling At This Moment In Time?

Queen of Pentacles Rx, 5 of Wands, The Fool, 7 of Swords Rx

So as expected Seunghan is feel super ungrounded and insecure about this entire situation. There are feelings of jealous here as well almost like "Everyone does this but I'm the one who gets in trouble for it?" He feels betrayed and immediately started to think the worst after this controversy and it's causing his priorities and goals to drift and dwindle. His focus is no longer on his career or atleast not as much as it should be because with the 5 of Wands here he is in a very combative energy with a few others. He wants to speak up, he wants to talk about it and tell the truth and this may be conflicting with SM's plans for him. He may be having some arguments or disagreements with the other members of the group or with his management team about how to move forward with this because it seems to be causing a lot of chaos.

I think he is ready to come clean though, with the 7 of Swords in Reverse. I definitely feel like he's been warned against taking this route but I don't think he cares honestly. He knows that it will be revealed anyway and would feel better about it coming from his own mouth. With The Fool here, he is hoping that this revelation will pardon him and allow him to start over.

What Will Be SM Entertainment's Next Step Regarding This Situation?

Page of Wands, Death, The Hermit Rx, Queen of Swords Rx

Expect SM Entertainment to put out a letter sometime soon. It may be short, and not as detailed as one would like, and it may not be about this situation at all. They may put out a letter promoting someone or something while simultaneously announcing the departure or hiatus of Seunghan. I'm not seeing that this communication will be very clear or concise, and it may not go over well with fans. I'm also seeing that they may take legal action regarding this situation as well.

#🍓 fairytalks #kpop tarot #riize tarot

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idyllic-affections · 2 years

Text

though the wind may carry everyone's woes, who carries the wind's?

summary. friends tend to show other friends the most vulnerable parts of themselves. trigger & content warnings. blood, hand injury, implied self-destructive behavior (not the reader). tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. reverse hurt/comfort. venti & reader. 1.4k words. they/them pronouns for reader. author's thoughts. i dont write about venti enough. hes my favorite ever. anyway of course i decide to write an angsty fic for him when i havent written about him in a while LMAOSHSKGJ also in this oneshot [name] is implied to be related to a major historical figure in mondstadt (like jean, diluc, & eula).

"Venti?"

It wasn't uncommon for a certain windborne bard to worm his way into their bed at night; after a lifetime of being cared for by him, nurtured by the winds themselves to be smart, independent, and strong, they felt it was only right to return the favor when he needed it. Some nights, he'd stumble into their residence drunk out of his mind—they didn't mind much. He was quite touchy and affectionate in such a state. It was cute. As an Archon, his hangovers were much more manageable than some of their other friends' (a certain Cavalry Captain was a nightmare to deal with when hungover), which was an added bonus. However, not all nights were so calm and easy. Some nights were more... difficult. Emotional.

To be so close to an Archon meant seeing them at their absolute worst.

In the Anemo Archon's case...

They tried to remove most mirrors in their home to prevent the very scenario they were now presented with. Still, at least one needed to stay, and that was the bathroom mirror. Perhaps it would have been a wise idea to cover it in some way; accomodating their home to suit the bard's emotional needs was something they'd do in a heartbeat. 'A simple bedsheet should do,' they mused fleetingly.

His mortal name garnered no response, so they tried again:

"Barbatos... please look at me," they whispered softly, hand held out invitingly so that, if he so desired, he could initiate or reject physical contact. Their gaze flickered between his bloodied knuckles to the pieces of shattered glass spread around to the crater in their wall where a mirror had once been in tact.

Certainly, the deity at their feet was much stronger than what people gave him credit for.

Even so, not a single spark of fear ignited in their chest; all they could wonder was how they'd explain the hole in their wall and the mirror shattered beyond repair when getting everything fixed or replaced. Never would they be afraid of someone so gentle. Venti—Barbatos, rather—was not the kind of Archon to bring harm and destruction upon anyone other than himself unless it was completely necessary. After having known him for so long, any fear that they may have felt when being presented with an emotional, heavily worshipped god was gone. He would never so much as think about hurting them. He'd only ever hurt himself, much to their despair. If there was ever any way for them to take away his pain, they'd do so in an instant. Barbatos deserved so much better than how the world treated him; that's what they thought, anyway. Perhaps they were biased.

With the side of their bare foot, they gingerly nudged some of the shards away, careful not to harm themselves.

Upon hearing a barely supressed sniffle, their chest tightened, flicking away the glass with more purpose once they saw the first tear fall.

Once they lowered themselves to the glass-free ground, the bard was quick to shift closer to them, laying his head on their shoulder. "I'm sor— sorry—" he cried between hiccups, nimble fingers clutching their silken nightshirt with suffocating strength. His knuckles throbbed, but he paid them no mind, nor did they to the fresh blood that dripped onto their clothes with the contact. "I didn't— didn't mean to—"

"Shh. It's okay. It's okay. It's just a mirror. I can replace it," they reassured in a hushed murmur, pressing their cheek to the top of his head and wrapping their arms around him. Fingers calloused from years of archery, hunting, and mandatory lyre lessons rubbed little soothing circles on whatever skin they could reach. "Let it out. I'm here. You're okay. Let it all out."

He sobbed harder into their chest at that. All they could do was gently hush him, subconsciously rocking back and forth as if to soothe a child, until he calmed down to coherency. There was no way to help if they couldn't understand him, after all.

(Despite that, they knew him well enough to know what troubled him so terribly. Over time, they learned that it was best to wait for him to talk rather than try to reassure him before they could tell what exactly he wanted them to do. Sometimes all he needed was a shoulder to cry on; sometimes he needed reassurance.)

A cool burst of wind caught their attention. After concluding that it wasn't the god's doing, they looked over their shoulder.

Oh.

There, in the doorway, a small cluster of wind wisps looked inward, chittering nervously at the sight of one of their own crying. They weren't unfamiliar with the little beings; more than once, they've woken up only to find the wisps snuggled in their hair and clothes with Venti laughing at them good-naturedly, telling them that they legally could not move until the wind wisps decided to first. They'd scoff, but abide by his rules anyway. As one would not dare to disturb a sleeping animal, they would not dare to disturb the sleeping winds.

Barbatos showed no objection to the way the wisps slowly drifted in, settling both on and around the Archon and his friend. He absently stroked a finger over one of the little ones, slowly calming down to a more grounded state. A comfortable silence descended, occupied only by occassional sniffles and chirps.

"Would he be mad at me?"

A million thoughts raced through their mind at the sudden question.

Would he? There was no easy answer to such a question, despite how deeply they wished there was. There was no way to know what a long-deceased person would think of the way a friend chose to honor him. If they were to make a guess... they imagined that the bard, the boy who once led the resistance against Decarabian alongside one of their ancestors, wouldn't hold it against Venti.

Shakily, they carded a hand through his dishevelled hair, mentally noting to tend to his wounded knuckles later. A trembling kiss was pressed to his forehead.

With all the strength they could manage, they tried to keep their voice from wavering.

"...I don't know. I didn't know him. I only know you, love." With their freehand, they ran their thumb soothingly over his cheekbone, eyes fixed in the direction of the ceiling. They'd cry if they were to see how wounded and defeated he looked; they knew themselves well enough to know that. "I'd... imagine not, though. He sounds like a very gentle soul at heart. I think he'd understand, Barbatos."

"...Maybe."

"You don't sound very convinced." A deep sigh left their nose as they kissed him again, only now on the crown of his head. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, darling. I'm sorry the world has treated you so poorly thus far. I— I wish I could help you, but I just... all I can offer you is a safe space. You're safe with me. There's nothing you could say or do that would make me angry with you. I know it must be so hard being immortal, but through the legacy of my bloodline, I am too. You can tell me anything. I like to think you'll always be safe with us, with me."

"...Perhaps so," Barbatos whispered in reply. "Your family was always very kind, to me and that bard and anyone else who needed a secure place to hide in a world of insecurity."

"So I've heard. I suppose it runs in the family."

"...Can we stay like this for a while?"

"Sure."

The silence returned once again. Rough fingertips drew random shapes and patterns on the Anemo Archon's skin. When his weight fell heavier on their chest, theiy dared to peer down.

"Barbatos?" They brushed some of his hair away from his face, heart shattering into a million pieces at the sight of remnants of tears on his reddened cheeks. His chest rose and fell with the newfound peace and solace that unconsciousness offered, and yet, he still managed to look so... sad.

A shaky breath left their quivering lips.

"Celestia above," they choked pathetically, squeezing the sleeping god close to their body in a way that was undoubtedly protective. The wind wisps stirred, some quickly rushing to their face and seeming to try and pat their tears dry. More tears fell down their cheeks at the inherent kindness the winds displayed. "Give him a break. Please, please... he doesn't deserve this. Why do you all hate him so much?"

The gods in Celestia gave no indication of a response.

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