#i hope they change things up in 6B

[captain-hen]

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[matan4il]

Buddie 610 meta

Holy shit, this ep.

Okay, what shall we start with? Maybe with what 911 itself starts, lots of foreshadowing. At the beach call, we have Eddie looking at Buck and replying to him (about the lightning), “I really hope it doesn’t strike twice, though.” Which, of course we know it will. But the foreshadowing continues, as Buck talks to Omar about unexpected things in life coming out of nowhere. That suggests we need to pay extra attention to other elements in this ep that might act as foreshadowing for later events along 6b. ~~

That kind of connects to me with Buck being closely tied to Ely, the pregnant lady (he saves the day there twice, first by realizing the oil is dripping and if they use the saw, it might prove fatal, then by helping Bobby with the baby). First off, it made me chuckle when we learned that, despite being driven to the hospital by a man, he’s actually not her partner. 911 made sure we knew Ely has a wife, and that she has another kid with her. Is it a coincidence when Buck, who practically has a husband and a kid with him already, is the main firefighter taking care of her? Maybe, but it still amused me. What really made me take note is when he told her not to push, trying to stall her childbirth, and she replied that it doesn’t depend on her. That made me wonder if perhaps this is also in a way foreshadowing what we might end up seeing with the sperm donation storyline. I’m not sure, I can’t be, but I was not surprised to see that storyline brought up later in the ep. ~~

In general, this ep’s title, “In a Flash,” might seem to refer to the lightning storm the team experiences, but the real tempest is the havoc our families can wreak on us, tied to the unexpected nature change can sometimes take on. Chim’s dad suddenly shows up, raining on his parade. Albert suddenly thinks Chim should give their dad a chance to be Jee Yun’s grandpa, but decides against giving his brother a warning. The Buckley parents are suddenly making an effort, yet leaving everyone suspicious and unnerved. Albert suddenly leaks Buck’s sperm donation to everyone and unleashes hell between the in-laws. Denny’s changes, probably influenced by getting in touch with his dad, come as a surprise to Hen. And of course, at the climax of the ep, Bobby as the unofficial adoptive father of Buck might lose his son in a flash. The whole ep is filled with these parallels of abrupt familial disquiet, especially in relation to dads, on all 118 fronts. And as Buck deals with maybe the biggest of these questions, because he doesn’t even yet know what he wants for himself and how does the life he helped create (but only as a donor) fit into that, it’s no wonder his life ends up hanging literally in the balance. ~~

One of the most painful things in this ep for me was seeing how much Buck’s parents are willing to accept him as a donor, because not for a second do they think he can be a father. That would be the natural conclusion from him looking at a sonogram on his phone, but his parents find it easier to believe their daughter is pregnant again than to think Buck would be a dad (ironic, because he already is one. Just not to the baby in the sonogram). It reminded me of how Eddie’s parents also didn’t believe in his ability to be a dad, and actively petitioned to have Chris taken from him to be raised by them in 315. It amazes me every time anew just how much Buddie are compatible, because their stories parallel so much that they can understand each other in ways most other people can’t. ~~

And it gets to me that this whole episode also insists on reminding us how good Buck is with kids, first with the ones on the beach, calming them down and answering their questions to help them make sense of the whole ordeal. Then with Ely’s baby, a callback to how we saw him with the pipe baby in 101. It connects to him looking at the baby sonogram, all excited, once again acting so much like an expectant dad would (parallel to him and the firefighter onesie in 609), when we know he’s not actually going to be that baby’s father. It very much does feel like 911 is signaling to us Buck has some realizations coming his way in this context. ~~

Speaking of the kids on the beach, Buck telling the boy he wants to fix everything, then adding that Buck gets it, had me screaming into my fists, because hey, remember who said that to Buck? That’s right, his Eddie, back in 504. A reminder of how much Eddie sees Buck, accepts him and allows him to be himself, enabling Buck in turn to reflect that back to that kid. Of course, in the context of the sperm donation, Buck’s tendency made him want to help “fix” things for Connor and Kameron, and we might learn in 6b that Buck comes to realize he sometimes lets this tendency take him to places that aren’t actually good for him, without fully considering the consequences, and then hopefully, he’ll get to find a way to balance this, to be himself, but not derailed from his life goals by this part of himself. ~~

At the same time that the ep shows us how good Buck is with kids, it also serves to remind us of the one kid that we’ve seen him co-parent all along, the one who has always demonstrated what a good, loving dad Buck is, Christopher. Yes, when we see Buck working on his cooking with Bobby, it’s a part of the many parallels revolving around dads in this ep, so Buck and Bobby’s r/s is the immediate focus, but at the same time, we know who Buck is learning this FOR. Lazania kitchen scene from 601, anyone? Oh, but the best part? It’s when Buck tells Bobby, “Something’s missing.” He can’t quite put the finger on what, but he knows something in his domesticity isn’t fully there. I wonder what, Buck... And this is again in an ep full of foreshadowing! ~~

It may seem like a minor thing, but remember how in my past meta, I was more or less losing it over the many times Buck and Eddie did rope rescues together as their own team within the 118 team, even having their assigned roles where Eddie connects Buck to the line and then becomes an anchor himself to keep Buck safe, to the point where I wrote a smut fic involving this very meaningful act? Yeah, so imagine me seeing that the most intense Buddie call we’ve had since the end of 413 starts with them doing this subtextually intimate thing, Eddie hooking Buck up to the rope, becoming his literal life line, and even teasingly calling him “cowboy” while at it. No, I was not breathing for a full minute at least. ~~

But since I brought up the shooting in 413, can we talk about the insanity of the parallels? Take the meaningful staring once disaster strikes. Back in s4, it was mutual, right before Eddie collapsed. In 610, Buck is unconscious, so you wouldn’t think they could stare at each other at this moment, right? Plus, back in 413, it was just the two of them present at the scene out of the 118, the other members of the team weren’t there. The lightning strike seems a lot less intimate in comparison... But in this ep, the camera plays a role in recreating that same dynamic, singling out the connection between Buddie. Because when Buck is hit by lightning, we get shots of every 118 member looking up and being terrified of what just happened to their friend.

The only exception in terms of this shot? Eddie. He’s the only one that isn’t being filmed from the side as he looks up, he’s filmed from above as he looks straight into the camera. Essentially, the shot recreates Buck’s POV for Eddie, and for him alone. It shows us what Buck would see and how he would stare down, back at Eddie, if he only could. The fact that the camera has to do this instead of Buck himself further emphasizes the horror of Buck being unconscious, but the choice to do this only with Eddie highlights their connection and makes it clear that Buddie’s bond IS different to what the other team members have with Buck, no matter how close the others are to him or how much they love him. What’s insane is that DESPITE having all of the 118 there, there is still a bubble within this whole situation that is Buddie and Buddie’s alone, even as Buck himself is unconscious. It’s no wonder Eddie jumps up that electrocuted ladder without even thinking about it, it’s no wonder no one even tries to stop him or warn him of the danger in that. That is a man on a mission to save the other half of him, and the show tells us that in more than one way.

That’s gonna continue through Eddie’s attempts (and eventual success) in getting Buck away from immediate danger, as well as when the team tries but then fails to revive Buck, because Eddie will be the one to push past Bobby to see Buck, and Eddie will be the one Bobby has to keep in line by assigning him driving duty, maybe the most important thing anyone can do for Buck once all the medical assistance they can give him in the field is of no further use. ~~

One more thing regarding the comparison with the shooting arc in s4, as well as talking about camera shots, is that we get to see the difference between a platonic friend resuscitating his teammate and a man desperately trying to keep the love of his life alive. If you look at Chim doing compressions on Buck, he’s giving it his all, because he DOES love Buck, Chim’s doing his best for his friend and brother in law. But the shot is not an intimate one, we don’t get close ups, we don’t get to focus on the eyes and see the frantic look of a man who knows he CAN’T fail, we don’t see the intimate touch of a hand laying a gauze on an exposed chest and trying to keep this treasured body together, we do get “come on, Buck,” but we don’t get personal speech, begging the other man to hold on and just “stay with me.” While back in 414, in the ambulance, we had ALL of those as Buck, almost on the verge of losing his sanity, fought for Eddie’s life. ~~

Lastly, I’ve made in the past a gifset of times when we’ve seen Buck screaming Eddie’s name in horror at the face of danger (including in 413), and I love that we can finally add to that Eddie doing the same thing for Buck. But I think it’s particularly meaningful that it happened not as a matter of when Buck would be in danger, but rather it was a question of just how significant Buck had to become to Eddie for this former, highly decorated soldier to go from the stoic man he was in 218 to what we see in 610 (as seen in my latest weekly gifset). Because Eddie WAS incredibly worried back in the s2 finale. He was gritting his teeth, you can see the tension on his face, and the second it was safe, he sprang to Buck’s side. Eddie also held on to him while everyone else was lifting the truck (even though Chim, as a medic, would have been a more natural choice to hold on to Buck, while Eddie the firefighter helps lift engine 118). And Eddie wouldn’t even let go of Buck’s hand on the way to the truck. HE WAS DISTRAUGHT. But the man who kept his facade up in the hospital after Shannon, his wife and mother of his son, died just one ep earlier, did the same thing with Buck. What I find so telling is that he can no longer do that by 610. Buck has become such an integral part of his life, of his family, of who Eddie is as a person and how he deals with life, way more than even Shannon managed to be. And that’s why Eddie loses it, confirming what we’ve known for a while: Buddie are life partners. ~~

I now have direct links to my weekly meta posts, my Buddie gifs and more of my content in my pinned post. Loads of love to @whosoldherout​​ for making unbelievable gifs for my very unique requests. You’re a star! Tag list will follow in the reblog. Thank you in advance for any reblog and like! I’m operating on 1.5 hours of sleep to get this posted ASAP, so I really appreciate any and all encouragement to keep doing this. xoxox

[amustikas]

hi!!! <3 I love your art so much <3 your style is soo good, especially your coloring, it's so pleasant to look at <3 also, mind if I ask what kind of software and brushes do you use? The texture of the sketches, lineart etc. look so nice and I was wondering if there's something like that it Photoshop. Have a great day! <3

Hello!! Thank you for your sweet words!! <3

I work on procreate and mostly just use these two basic ah default brushes. I am sure photoshop equivalents exist for both of them out there somewhere!

And since I work a lot with these two I thought I would give ya some extra insight into how exactly I put them to use :)

The 6B Pencil brush has got to be my all time favourite brush and I use it for literally everything!

From rough sketches..

to lineart..

to colouring and details.

This brush is quite pressure sensitive, so you can achieve many different variations of size in one stroke by changing the amount of pressure you apply by hand. Through it all, it maintains it's relatively rectangular shape and brings with it soft grain like texture.

Come to think of it, I think I drew this whole next piece with only the 6B Pencil, start to finish. I think it really goes to show that in the end, it's not really about what brushes or software you use, but about how you make them work for you and how much fun you have while creating. I find that the drawings I have the most fun with end up being my favourites in the long run.

And to me, the 6B is just a damn fun brush to use!

It is perfect for adding silly little shapes and lines all over the place :)

And the other brush I find myself coming back to is Salamanca from the Painting category.

I use it for filling in bigger areas of colour and just colour blocking in general. I like it's subtle canvas texture and the fact that it is not entirely opaque by default, which allows for interesting variations of hues.

But that is not all! I like to size it down to use it to add details and colour to my portraits. I find that it's softness works really well on faces and it's transparency makes it easier to bring in variations of colour.

And would you look at that! More shapes and lines! It's really all I know how to do haha

At the end of the day, I try to just enjoy the process of drawing as much as I can :)

I find that young digital artists often put a lot of emphasis onto finding the correct drawing software and brushes. And while that is important, I find that it is equally as important to throw caution to the wind sometimes and to just try out new things and to not care so much.

I mean hell, people create masterpieces in MS Paint!

My drawing process usually boils down to simply trying to ensure art stays something fun for me, and these two brushes have helped me achieve that over the years.

Hope this has been some help and not all pure gibberish!

[renecdote]

a wound to close

For @homerforsure 💛 I hope you enjoy this sprawling post-6b Buck angst Allison!!

Summary:

“What happened?” Eddie repeats, and he does touch when he reaches out this time, taking Buck’s arm gently by the wrist and turning it to see the damage. “Did you fall?” The slightest catch in his voice over fall, there and gone so fast that Buck can’t reliably say it was there at all. “I took my bike out early, got taken out by some loose gravel. I’m fine, Eds, really. It wasn’t that bad.” Eddie just shakes his head, gently dropping Buck’s arm only to lift up his shirt like he knows what he’s going to find before he sees it: a mottled mess of dark bruises and angry red scrapes. For BTHB: road rash

There’s a first aid kit in the Jeep. Two of them, actually, one stocked to overkill strapped into the trunk and a mini one tucked into the glove compartment. There’s a mini fire extinguisher, too, and a toolkit, and rope, and two umbrellas, and a box of disposable gloves sitting snug with a box of protein bars. Just in case .

“In case of what?” Maddie asked him once, her eyebrows lifted in disbelief as she fished a flashlight out of the passenger door along with a spare pair of sunglasses (Eddie’s, Buck was pretty sure, although they’d been there so long it didn’t really matter who they once belonged to).

“I don’t know,” he shrugged, hands steady on the wheel when he really wanted to rub at the flush he could feel crawling up his neck. “Just in case.”

Maddie didn’t push it. When Buck glanced over at her at the next red light, he was expecting amusement, maybe a little sisterly judgement, and he didn’t know what to do with the sadness he saw there instead. He turned back to the road, kept his hands on the wheel, and let the radio carry the silence until Maddie changed the subject and they were back on solid ground.

Maybe it’s that conversation, or all the childhood years between them, or just the fact that she’s his sister, the person who taught him how to fix things, who always fixed him , but Buck’s first thought when the bike lurches on the trail and skids out from under him is Maddie.

Maddie is going to kill me .

Maddie is never going to let me live this down.

I wish Maddie was here .

And then he’s hitting the ground hard, skidding and rolling and rolling, and for a long moment, he can’t think at all.

His elbow takes the brunt of the fall, stealing his breath with the kind of white-hot pain that numbs everything for a moment, for a second that feels like a minute, and then his fingers start tingling before feeling returns everywhere else as well, a wave crashing over him. It hurts. It fucking hurts. Wounded animal instinct has Buck clutching at his arm before his brain is fully online and he can’t say whether it’s the flash of pain or the feeling of gravel pushed further into flesh that makes his stomach turn. Fuck.

[Read on AO3]

[gotham-ruaidh]

Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

Catch up: Chapter 1 (Starry Eyes) || Chapter 2 (Save Our Souls) || Chapter 3 (Dancing On Glass)|| Chapter 4 (Merry-Go-Round)|| Backstage (1) || Backstage (2) || Chapter 5 (Danger)|| Backstage (3) || Chapter 6A (Love Walked In) || Chapter 6B (Without You) || Backstage (4) || Chapter 7 (Stick To Your Guns) || Chapter 8 (Time For Change) || Backstage (5) || Chapter 9 (Take Me To The Top) || Backstage (6) || Chapter 10 (Home Sweet Home) || Backstage (7) || Chapter 11a (Nightrain) || Chapter 11b (Nothing Else Matters) || Chapter 12a (Handle With Care) || Chapter 12b (I’m So Tired of Being Lonely) || Chapter 13a (Angel) || Chapter 13b (She’s My Addiction) || Chapter 13c (Patience) || Chapter 14a (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 14b (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 14c (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 15a (Dreams) || Chapter 15b (I Sing A Song of Love) || Chapter 15c (You Can Do This If You Try) || Chapter 16 (Let That Feeling Grab You Deep Inside || Chapter 17A: Never Tear Us Apart || Chapter 17B: It’s Tough To Be Somebody, And It’s Hard Not To Fall Apart  || Chapter 17C: I’m Wishing, Lord, That I Was Stoned || Chapter 18: Turn The Page || Chapter 19A: When You’re Alone, Do You Let Go? || Chapter 19B: Heading For A Spin || Chapter 20A: I Don't Need Nothing When I'm By Your Side ||| Also posted at AO3

Chapter 20B: I'm Walkin' Down This Rocky Road

But now I'm on my feet again Better things are bound to happen All my dues surely must be paid Many miles and many tears Times were hard, but now they're changing You should know that I'm not afraid…

 -- “Ready For Love,” Bad Company (1974) [click here to listen]

North Carolina || February 1989

“Please excuse all the boxes. Turns out it’s taken us a bit longer to figure out where everything goes.”

Raymond shook his head. “Please don’t apologize on my account, Jamie. You’re finally merging your lives in a physical way – no doubt it will take some time.”

Claire smiled briefly at her husband as she hung up Raymond’s thick winter coat in the closet by the cabin’s front door. “I know it’s crazy that we’re spending so much time unpacking when we’ll be on the road for the rest of the year.”

“It’s not crazy, Claire. You’re building your home. You want a home to come back to. Isn’t that why both of you sacrifice so much?”

Jamie snorted. “And here I thought we did it all for the art.”

Claire closed the coat closet. “Can I get you anything, Raymond? We’ve got everything you can imagine that’s non-alcoholic.”

Jamie sank onto the new couch in the living room, and Raymond quietly sat beside him. “Coffee or tea, please, whatever is easier. Thank you, Claire.”

“Of course.” She padded away to the kitchen, and Raymond took stock of his surroundings. The exposed beams. The roaring fire. The furniture – rustic, tasteful, well made. Jamie’s guitar leaning against one wall, next to a stack of Claire’s medical journals.

“We really appreciate you being here, and spending this time with us.” Jamie absently fiddled with a loose string at the bottom of his sweater. “As much as we can shut out the world when we’re here, obviously we’re thinking about the tour. A lot.”

“I’m grateful for the invitation. It’s nice to see you in person, after several months of our weekly phone calls. And it’s wonderful to see this place that you and Claire have spoken so much about. It’s a beautiful home.”

Jamie smiled. “It was a house. Claire and I…we’ve made it a home. One we hope to raise a family in.”

“You’re still planning to try to conceive this year?”

Jamie nodded. “Absolutely. Once we get to Europe. We don’t want to wait any longer.”

“You’ll be in Europe for what, four months? That’s a long time for her to go without a doctor, in the event she gets pregnant. Have you spoken with Colum about additional medical support on the tour?”

“No. Not yet. But I should.” Jamie swallowed. “Last tour, we survived with a mix of Claire and her medical bag, and my guitar tech Arch, who was a Marine corpsman in Vietnam. Just the usual stuff – cuts and bruises. Claire popped a roadie’s dislocated shoulder back into place, in Omaha or Topeka, I forget where.” He sighed. “I’m a little bit better than I used to be at being open about what’s on my mind, and asking for what I want. But…I don’t know. This feels so…private. Sharing our dream with more people than we already have.”

Raymond nodded. “It is. And don’t think that I don’t know what it takes for you to be so open with me about this, Jamie. I’ll be your advocate for whatever you need, when we’re on the road. But if you decide you’re serious about a baby, these are the kinds of things you’ll need to get more comfortable talking about with many more people.”

“We’re very serious.” Claire reappeared from the kitchen, holding a tray with three steaming mugs of coffee. “Though I’ve told him that we need to let Colum know what we’re thinking. Because depending on when and if it happens, and if Jamie really does want to pause the tour to be with me…that’s a logistical nightmare for Colum and the label and the crew and just about everyone else.”

Jamie and Raymond took their mugs, and Claire took hers, perching on the easy chair next to the sofa.

Jamie bit his lip. “I hate we need to be so…clinical about it. This is a beautiful thing – it shouldn’t be this way.”

“Jamie.” Claire turned to face her husband. “I love you. I want to have your children. I want to be with you. But I know there is a part of you that will never belong to me – it belongs to your music, and your fans, and your record label, and all the people who depend on you. You can’t just walk away from all of that. You can’t just screw them over and hope they’ll wait on you.” She paused, thinking. “You did that once before, when you came to The Ridge. And you were so, so lucky that the stars aligned for you to come back the way you did. But Jamie, nobody knows if you’ll get a chance like that again.”

“So, what, Claire? Do we need to plan it down to the minute, when we’ll make the baby? Put a schedule around it?”

Hurt, Claire closed her eyes.

“All Claire is saying, is that you need to be open-minded, Jamie.” Raymond’s voice was low, soothing. “What you’re trying to do is so incredibly beautiful, I agree. And nothing should take away from that beauty. But you need to balance that, with all the demands of your profession.”

Jamie’s knuckles whitened as he gripped the coffee cup. Chest starting to heave.

“So fucking many demands,” he seethed. “To write new songs, even when I’m singing the old ones. To smile through interview after interview after stupid interview and the same fucking questions about rehab. I love the fans, I really do, but some of them are fucking weird and even a little scary. And then…” he swallowed. “And then there’s all the hotel rooms, and all the sleepless nights, and all the tasteless food, and…”

Claire’s eyes flashed open – and met Raymond’s concerned gaze.

“…and all I want is to be in bed with my wife and shut the whole damn world out and play my guitar on my back porch and leave all that bullshit behind and…”

“Jamie?” Raymond interrupted.

“It’s happening,” Claire whispered.

Jamie continued almost robotically, eyes wide.

“…and I don’t want to even be near any fucking whiskey or coke or marijuana or whatever the fuck the roadies are doing behind the amplifiers, with whoever the fuck girls they picked up at some strip club, and…”

“Jamie.” Raymond gently took away his coffee cup, and rested his hands on Jamie’s arm. “Breathe deep with me. Right now. Let’s control this.”

Startled, Jamie looked up at Raymond. Blinked. Took a deep breath.

“Good, Jamie. Again, please. In through your nose.”

He took another deep breath. Exhaled.

“Fuck,” he groaned.

“Another breath. Focus on me. Be still.” Raymond lifted his hands from Jamie’s arms and edged back a bit, giving him space.

They repeated the cycle of deep breaths for about five minutes – Raymond kneeling before Jamie, Claire standing behind him. Watching Jamie visibly calm.

He took a deep breath, and sighed. “Fuck. I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” Claire’s voice was tight over Raymond’s shoulder. “You caught yourself.”

Jamie took another deep breath. Smiled sadly. “At just the right moment. Thank you, Raymond. That…that hasn’t happened once in the time we’ve been here. Since the tour ended.”

Raymond sat back on the couch, still warily eyeing Jamie. “That’s to be expected. You’ve completely removed all the triggers from your life.”

Jamie scrubbed his face with his hands, still breathing deep, calming, centering breaths. “Life here is so good. And I like being on the road, I really do. But the environment…”

“But that’s why Raymond will be with us.” Claire stepped by Raymond and settled onto the couch next to Jamie, pressing her legs against his. “He’s helped us so much already. Look how you were able to calm down. So much better than all the times that happened during the last tour.”

Jamie lifted his head and just looked at his wife. Reached for her hand, brought it to his lips, and kissed it. “I want to protect you from everything, Claire.”

“I can protect myself, you know.”

“That’s an admirable feeling, Jamie, but you’ll burn yourself out emotionally.” Raymond lifted his cooled mug of coffee. “And then you won’t be a help to anyone.”

Jamie kissed Claire’s knuckles. Eyes locked on hers.

Raymond watched curiously as something flashed between Jamie and Claire.

Claire turned to face Raymond. Face a bit flushed.

“Will you excuse us for…”

Raymond immediately set down his mug. “Of course. I can go back to town – ”

“No need. You just got here! Stay, please – you can explore the land and the barn. We…we just need some time.” She stood, and Jamie gripped her hand.

“I’ll keep myself busy,” Raymond smiled.

Claire flushed. “I’m a terrible hostess.”

“You never need to apologize. Nurture your connection, both of you. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

Already he was walking toward the coat closet. Heard their footsteps echo down the hallway, then the bedroom door slam. Then, very faintly, Jamie’s laugh.

[extasiswings]

hold onto me

More 6x10/6B spec fic because I am going Through It.

Once upon a time, Christopher was afraid of storms. It was one of those things Eddie hadn’t known about his own kid, that he learned when Christopher climbed into bed with him in the middle of the night during a thunderstorm a few months after his discharge from the army and maybe a week after Shannon left them. He hadn’t been sleeping himself—the rolling thunder reminded him too much of gunfire—so he had been awake when Christopher curled in next to him and pulled the blankets over his head.

It’s too loud, Christopher had said when Eddie asked what was wrong, and Eddie certainly hadn’t been able to argue with that.

Chris grew out of it. His fear of storms. Nowadays, thunder and lightning are cool, and he’s learned to enjoy the little things, like sitting under a blanket with a cup of hot chocolate and reading a good book while rain batters against the windows of the house. Or a rainbow peeking through the clouds after a long, dreary spat.

Eddie wonders if that’ll change tonight. As soon as he walks through the door and tells his son that a storm put Buck in the hospital.

That Buck might not wake up.

That Eddie couldn’t save him.

He doesn’t want to say the words. In fact, he’s been standing in front of his own front door for at least ten minutes, unable to make himself take the last step of fitting his key in the lock and going inside.

He can’t. Because the second he opens the door, that’s it, it’s real, there’s no going back. And of course, it’s already real—Eddie saw it happen, he watched from the ground, entirely helpless to do anything as Buck was blown off the ladder by a lightning strike that left behind the lingering scent of ozone. He watched Buck hang there for what felt like hours but could only have been minutes. He felt Buck’s lack of pulse, performed CPR himself because the thought of letting someone else take over was unfathomable.

He begged Buck to open his eyes. But Buck hadn’t.

So, yes. Eddie knows it’s real. Technically. But it’s also the nightmare scenario. It’s not supposed to actually happen.

Eddie’s not supposed to have to have this conversation again. He’s not supposed to have to figure out how to tell his son that Buck is—

He cuts off the thought. Buck’s not dead. He’s not. It’s not the same.

Except, logic unhelpfully offers, this is almost worse, isn’t it?

Death is final. Shannon died. Telling Christopher had been one of the hardest things Eddie had ever had to do, but at least it was final. This is the furthest thing from certainty.

Buck could never wake up. Buck could wake up and be fine. Or Buck could wake up completely changed. He could wake up not even knowing them. He could wake up, but need constant care for the rest of his life. It feels like there are infinite possibilities, but hope is a fickle mistress and Eddie has learned not to rely on it.  Possibilities are both a gift and a curse.

A gift because they mean he might not actually have to break his son’s heart tonight. A curse because if that break just ends up delayed, it’ll hurt so much worse.

God, he can’t do this. Not again.

It’s no surprise that Eddie’s mind takes him back to the aftermath of the shooting.  When Buck came to see him in the hospital and suggested that maybe it would have been better for Christopher if he had been the one to get shot instead of Eddie.  Eddie hadn’t agreed with the sentiment then, and he certainly doesn’t agree with it now.

This is not better.  There is nothing about this situation that is better.  

But Eddie understands the sentiment more than ever now.  Because he would trade places with Buck in an instant as long as it meant Buck and Christopher would be okay.  

And they would be.  Eventually.  As long as they had each other, Eddie knows they could be okay without him.

He’s let Christopher down so many times, failed him in so many ways.  Buck, though—Eddie doesn’t think Buck understands that he’s Christopher’s hero.  Hell, he’s Eddie’s hero too.  How many times has Buck saved them both?

Christopher knows what it’s like to lose Eddie.  Just like he knew what it was like to lose Shannon.  He doesn’t know what it’s like to lose Buck.  And maybe it was naive of Eddie to think that he would never have to, but as much as risk is an inherent part of their jobs, he really did think—

You act like you’re expendable, but you’re wrong.

Buck has always been Buck’s own worst enemy, the biggest risk to his safety.  But Eddie had stopped that, hadn’t he?  Hadn’t he made Buck see that he couldn’t be reckless with himself?  Hadn’t he given Buck a reason to want to stay? To live?  To be with—

Lightning.  Really?  Who the hell gets struck by lightning?  What kind of freak accident is that?

Buck would know.  With all the random facts he keeps locked up in his head, he probably knows exactly how likely it is for someone to be the victim of a lightning strike.

Knew.

Knows.

All at once, Eddie’s no longer exhausted and subdued—he’s angry.  Angry in a way that he hasn’t felt in a long time, maybe ever.

“You son of a bitch,” he whispers, and it could be to God, the universe, maybe even a little to Buck himself.  Because what is it going to take?  How much loss can one person be expected to bear?  How much grief?  

He did the work.  He went to therapy.  He got all whole and healed and he was working on the rest, okay?  Working on the last bits he needed to work on to be ready, to stop being so afraid.

He thought he had time.  He was supposed to have more time.

Tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone, so if you love her, tell her.

A memory whispers in the back of Eddie’s mind, and a bitter laugh bubbles up in his throat, burning like acid.  Yeah, okay, so maybe he’s a hypocrite, sue him.  But whoever is running the show from the great beyond has a sick fucking sense of humor.  

Eddie scrubs his hands over his face and presses his forehead against the door.  

His phone buzzes in his pocket, and his heart skips a beat—he nearly fumbles the phone pulling it out to check the message.  Maybe Buck is—

But no.  It’s just Chim letting him know that Maddie convinced the night nurse to let her stay with Buck, but regular visiting hours start in the morning.

Clearly, the universe isn’t interested in doing Eddie any favors.

Which brings him back to the reason he’s still standing in the hall.

How is he supposed to tell Christopher?

Well.

He just has to do it, doesn’t he?  There isn’t another answer.  There’s no magical solution.

Just the truth.  

Taking a steadying breath, Eddie brings his keys up, turns the lock, and opens the door.  Crosses the rubicon.

Carla steps out of the kitchen, a smile on her lips that drops off the instant she sees his face.

“What’s wrong?”  She asks.  “What happened?”

Eddie shakes his head.  He can’t—he can only say it so many times.

“Is he asleep?”

“Yes.”

He closes his eyes.  Somehow that’s even worse.

“I think I have to wake him up.”  

“Eddie—”  Carla’s face has taken on a greyish tinge, but her voice is steady when she adds—  “I can stay.  If there’s somewhere else you need to be.”

For the briefest moment, Eddie wonders what would happen if he went back to the hospital now.  If he showed up at Buck’s room and cracked himself open, poured out the whole truth and begged Maddie—a woman he barely knows—to let him be the one to stay.  

He could do it.  Run away from this conversation that he doesn’t know how to have with Christopher and let Carla deliver the news and pick up the pieces.  It would be one of the most selfish things he’d ever done, but he could.  He could do it.  

But no, no, he really couldn’t.  This is his job and only his.  Just like how when their positions had been reversed, it had been Buck’s job.  It couldn’t be anyone else’s.  

“I’m exactly where I need to be,” Eddie replies, sounding steadier than he feels.  And with one more breath for strength, he steps into Christopher’s room.

It’s dark, quiet.  Eddie doesn’t turn on the main light—instead, he waits until he gets to the bed and sits on the edge of it before flicking on a lamp.  

Christopher doesn’t stir then, or when Eddie runs a gentle hand over his curls.  His breathing is deep and even and he looks so much younger than he is in sleep, without his glasses.  

Eddie’s eyes burn, a lump forming in his throat.

He can’t—

He has to.

“Christopher,” he rasps, shaking his shoulder lightly.  

Chris wrinkles his nose and slowly blinks his eyes open, squinting in the dim light through the haze of sleep.

“Dad?”

“Hey, kid.”  His voice cracks.  And his son changes in an instant, his focus sharpening, every line of him going tense and too still.  

“What happened to Buck?”  Christopher asks, seeing right into the heart of it.

“There was an accident.  He’s in the hospital.”

To his surprise, Chris laughs—a little shaky and tense, but still a laugh.  “Well that’s just—he’s fine though, right?  I mean, he’s been in the hospital before.  He’s always fine.”

There’s a pause that stretches a little too long when Eddie can’t find the words to respond.  And Christopher is the one to break it, his tone abruptly questioning, sharp, a little desperate.

“Right?  Dad?  He’s fine?”

And god, Eddie doesn’t think he has ever been in this kind of pain.  He would give anything, anything to make it go away.  For both of them.

“I don’t know,” Eddie admits, because he can’t lie, Christopher wouldn’t forgive him if he lied.  “It might be a while before we know anything.  I wish I could say more than that, I wish I could promise you that he’ll wake up tomorrow and be just like he always is, but I don’t know.”

And I don’t want to lie to you.

Christopher stares at the wall for a moment.  His lip quivers before he pulls it between his teeth.  But when he looks back to Eddie, his eyes are dry.  Strong.  Resolved.  

“He will be.  You’ll see.  It’s Buck.”

And of the two of them, Eddie’s the one who feels like crying.

“Yeah.  Yeah—it’s Buck.”

He just wishes he could convince himself that matters as much as Christopher believes it does.    

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Hello, I was wondering if you had any angst and fluff scisaac fanfics that are more then 5,000 words. Any with smut included is fine

@kevaaronday made this list for us!

Because I Trust You by sunmoontruth

(77/77 |  575,650 | Teen | MCD | Scisaac) It’s such a simple phrase, but it means everything. All Isaac has ever wanted is to be trusted, and he is. Scott trusts him. Though, looking at him now, Isaac knows there’s something Scott’s not telling him.

It isn’t just trust. It’s more than that.

“You trust me?” Isaac asks. His voice is soft, almost teasing. The pieces are coming together now. Isaac is starting to get it.

—

A retelling of the Teen Wolf series where Isaac doesn't leave. Spans from season 3A to season 6B.

Destiny Is A Tricky Thing by GeekLover (6/6 | 24,546 | Teen | Scisaac) When Scott and Isaac meet they form an instant connection, but the timing just isn't right. Years later they can't forget the night they spent together. Will destiny get out of their way and let them find their way back to each other? Sometimes you have to give destiny a little push.

And the Reason Is You by Mesita (3/3 | 20,884 | Teen | Scissac) 'In which Isaac is a teenage gravedigger with a shitty, unfair life and Scott is the ghost who decides to follow him home one day.'

Mi Único by Flukas (6/6 | 17,154 | Teen | Scisaac) Scott's family was cursed generations ago, and since then, they've each suffered from la llamada, a calling that reveals their único amor in a (quite literal) shocking burst of emotion. Almost everyone he'd ever heard of finding their único did so before they were 21 years old. Here Scott was, a 27 year old veterinarian, and he still had not heard la llamada or suffered from the rumored maldición. He was losing hope that there was someone out there that he could love the way his abuelita loved his abuelo—the way his mother tried to love his father.

A last minute appointment with a sad puppy and his equally sad owner changes things. Unfortunately for Scott, not all romances are guaranteed, and not even all únicos return the love they are given. He'd known that since the day his father left and never looked back.

He hoped desperately that his único Isaac was nothing like his father.

What’s Hidden From Me by Wolfheart (1/1 | 14,512 | Teen | Scisaac) There was a look here, a touch there. This had been going on for weeks. It really shouldn't have taken Scott this long to notice what was happening between him and Isaac. Unfortunately, it took Scott even longer to realize what it meant.

invisible string by empirestrikesback (1/1 | 8,924 | Mature | Scisaac) When your soulmate gets a tattoo, the same one appears on your skin. And Scott McCall fears that they don't have one.

Mochas, Coronas and Tequila by bewarethesmirk (1/1 | 6,797 | Explicit | Scisaac) Isaac is a loner, down-on-his-luck barista. Then Scott bustles in, with his puppy dog eyes and penchant for mochas, and he and Isaac become buddies. As these things go, Isaac wants more.

The Simple Things by Misstrickster (2/2 | 6,630 | Not Rated | MCD | Scisaac) Isaac gets into a car accident and ends up in the hospital. Where he ends up meeting Scott a fellow patient with crooked smile.

Blue Neighborhood by LovelyLuna (1/1 | 5,461 | Mature | Scisaac) Isaac lives with his abusive father and his life is in shambles. The only thing that ever makes it any better is Scott.

lost (in the thrill of it all) by orphan_account (1/1 | 5,029 | Gen | Scisaac) "Why are you being such a sourwolf, Scott?" Stiles shrieks, directly into Scott's ear. He winces. "What's wrong?"

Scott looked at his drink, his flat beer looking more and more unappealing by the second. "Nothing, Stiles. Nothing wrong at all."

"Liar." Malia flicks him. "Heartbeat." 

Stiles makes an affronted look- or attempts to, in all his drunken glory- and it's enough to make Scott chuckle lowly. "Scott! No lying! No secrets between best friends!" 

Scott's laugh dies away, and he bites his lip thoughtfully. 

"I think-" His throat closes up a bit, and he looks aat his toes. "I think I'm going to go to France." -

alternatively, tracking down isaac, like most things in scott's life, is extremely difficult.

[zponds]

(Credit goes to JWBtheUncanny on Deviantart)

Ash Ketchum as Cure Master

Ohh yeah, Your eyes are not deceiving you, Ash Ketchum has changed.... for the next Pokemon Anime vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/po… when Sun & Moon finally ends and the Clone's Storyline finally ends, This is the Real Ash Ketchum, And he has been altered to a Degree, And it's sort of a Mix between XY ash and the Sun and Moon version, And.... to be honest.... I do like this new look for him, In-Universe Its possible how Ash altered it this loo may have been the Result of all 55 of the Pretty Cure All Stars inner light changing him.... At first I was afraid Ash was never gonna return in the Anime, But his Japanese Voice Actress put a rest to that claiming his Adventures is not over, It's amazing how much he's changed i.imgur.com/e9cnXq9.jpg

Also... with This new change of the Character and he's' still the same Age as he was in 1997, It's given me the opportunity to proceed with the Cure Master concept with Ideas from the Blueprints fav.me/ddcv5f6 But in the Blueprints as I would call the original Concept, the costume looked too familiar with his Kanto Costume which was the Idea with the Gold symbols of each of the Precure teams from the All Stars Pantheon, So I took some big libraries with the concept and came up with a Costume that's fits in line, His Cure Master Costume is a Set of Precure Armour that takes some inspiration from the Male PreCures from Hugtto PreCure, Even Jonathan Klondike AKA Joe Okada's suit of Armour, I did keep the Symbols of the Respected PreCure teams, They are Engraved in the Armour, In an edition, Ash now has a Sword called Blade of a True Pokemon Master and a Shield titled PreCure's loving Protection... if you look closely to it, You'll see the Angle figures on it are modelled in the forms of Nagisa Misumi AKA Cure Black and Honoka Yukishiro AKA Cure White, He's Research book is now complete with info linking the PreCures with there Respected Zodiacs, And he also has that Shard of the Miracle Star still giving off ever as you can see, Pikachu now possesses a Cloak of Levitation... Which Heartcatch PreCure use... When I was coming up with the Dialogue for Ash I was listening to this www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dp-6BS…, So guys What do you thing, Do you like the way I came up with the Design, Please let me know of what you think?

(Messages from Ash Ketchum to the Precure All Stars Pantheon: Hello, It’s me... Ash, The real Ash Ketchum, Hope you get this message, There’s Something I wanna Tell that I keep Neglecting to tell you all at the Trial of my brother and the Ultra-Guardians... I received word from the Headmaster of Magic world, There’s Something about my Contingency Plan I had the Headmaster Of Magic World cast on to keep you and your Respects Home-Towns safe from invaders..... The Cloaking Spell was way more powerful then we originally thought... With some... Side effects.... Picture Miyuki and Akane becoming invisible when Candy was messing with the Camera.... But the First Generation Pretty Cures From Max Heart to Happiness Charge... Some how the Cloaking Enchantment Left Some Energy That has been absorbed into the Your DNA.... so from what Riko and Mirai told me... It’s likely that your Human hosts now have the Ability to become... Translucent willingly, So in the Day or night They could become Invisible and Visible at any time by command... I just thought that all 55 of you should know, Me and the Headmaster are not sure if there's a way to reverse it, but it may prove useful to all of you.... Sincerely Ash Ketchum of Pallot Town.)

[lover-of-mine]

i’m always interested in your analyses of the blue-green thing! colour is such a cool way of expressing themes or parallels and when you look at it laid out with all the couples, it’s so clear and non coincidental lol

“up until 6b they were really careful with this particular implication of romantic undertones with buddie and that's out the window now” is this in reference to how they carefully set up buddie’s themes and storylines over 5 seasons and then fucked it up in just a few 6b episodes? 😅

because honestly that’s part of the reason why i don’t have much hope for canon in season 7, i feel like they’ve suddenly backtracked on their relationship for some reason and are gonna go all no homo and/or just ruin them completely

post about the blue and green thing

Okay, I'm gonna go conspiracy theorist here, and I may be giving the showrunners too much credit, but here's the thing, we know the threat of cancellation made them change things around during 6b, there's a very clear tone shift, they changed episode names, called actor back for reshoots, so they changed the way the season was supposed to go so it would work as a nice packaged little happy ending if they got cancelled. Personally, I believe that there is some higher plan with Buck and Eddie going on here, I think they are a slowburn that is still burning, and personally, that needs to burn a little bit more until they can have a relationship that would work (getting Buck back in therapy and letting them talk would be ideal) and if you wanna jump ship go for it, I don't blame you, this shit is frustrating. But the thing is, they are very careful about how characters are constructed, and Buck and Eddie exist as mirrors of each other, and they also mirror canon romantic couple, bathena being the most blatant one. And they make a point to make sure that if you look at it closely, you can pick up on some romantic undertone, most major buddie scenes have that feeling that leaves you wondering. And it's not like the show doesn't know how to write friendships, because they do, so... choices. But going back to season 6, it might just be me, but I don't want them to get together for the sake of them getting together, there's a lot of build-up surrounding them for me to be satisfied with "and they kissed roll credits" (i love you *falls to gay superhell*, oh he had complicated feelings over the jeep) so I don't think they fucked it up, I think they didn't have the time to playout what they wanted to do with buddie in the space they had in season 6 and voted against rushing it since there was a chance the show was going to get picked up by someone else. Because it is still very easy to write off both Natalia and Marisol and keep whatever plan they might have and if they didn't get picked up just shoving them together would be unsatisfying. (In the end, it was unsatisfying anyway because the way they wrote the season makes a real effort into painting Buck, Eddie, and Chris as a family unity, so most things that don't end with them acknowledging this are unsatisfying, but it's an easy fix because the show didn't end, so)

Because, in the end, they are purposely writing Buck and Eddie as mirrors of each other, and it goes down to the first death on the job for both of them being someone falling to their death. You have the first love that ran away from them and came back without giving them real closure, you have the rocky relationship with their parents, you have the relationship they were pushed into by other people (Eddie and Ana and Buck and Ali if that's not clear), you have the way that Shannon is introduced and the next episode Buck gets a girlfriend, Shannon dies? Next episode, byebye Ali, Eddie starts dating Ana? Next episode, let's bring Taylor back into the mix, Buck is dating Natalia? What a wonderful time to have Eddie decide he's ready to put himself out there. You have the late confirmation they are the same age. You have the way they both escaped home, the way they found themselves in firefighting. You have the pretty blunt parallels between the shooting and the lightning and the well and the lightning, you have Eddie's will and the way Eddie decided to hide it (because they could have Eddie talk to Buck before changing and I've seen this playout between friends in other shows, but the choice to hide it gives a different feeling), you have multiple confirmations that Buck sees Christopher as his own, you have Eddie being hurt being Buck's berzerker button. One or two things are an accident, this many? They're on purpose, and I chose to believe there is some bigger, longer plan in action here. Sometimes I feel like there's a large percentage of the fandom who doesn't understand the stakes behind a network slowburn. Even shows like castle or the mentalist, where you KNOW they are gonna end up together, took like? 6 seasons? of build-up for something to happen? And like, I want them together, but with everything we have around them, I want them together in the right way, and yes, I think the show is delaying them because the stakes keep getting higher so it's harder to make it work, but I do have faith they can make something good work, just look at everything about them from 6x10 to 6x13.

Also, that particular statement was just about the blue and green thing because I actually looked at every scene where they are together, and they are never in those colors except for those two scenes, and the choice of shades of blue and green is very on purpose to be on accident, you know what I mean? And Buck and Taylor have multiple blue and green scenes, to pick the shades from the shooting is insane really.

Everything is on purpose, but a tv show is not like a book or a movie where everything is gonna be contained, you need to let the story evolve and adapt to the circumstances in which is being aired, and personally, I think 6x16-6x18 are just a detour, some construction on sunset lol, I think they had a choice to keep the season the way it was supposed to go and risk leaving the show feeling unfinished or shift things around and just leave Buck and Eddie feeling unfinished and they went with the second option, because it had less consequences.

Season 7 could absolutely go just kidding, no homo, but the thing is, you have two characters whose storylines are deeply tangled together, you can just sit them down, have them talk, say "you're my brother, dude" and goodbye, they're platonic best buddies. But I also don't think they would draw such a hard line because us crazy buddie shippers keep watching the show in the hopes of seeing them in the same frame together, and I feel like a significant part of people could give up the show altogether if they make such a blunt statement. And the showrunners know that, keeping us in the will they won't they thing helps their numbers and we are a significant enough portion of the viewers to make a difference. The hope of buddie brings audience to the show so I wouldn't expect a no homo thing. Or any hard line between them really.

But what do I know? I'm just a girl with a blog and a hyperfixation lol

[outrunningthedark]

Honestly, you have a healthier outlook on Buddie than most. If it happens, great. We all win. But people in fandom just need to be more realistic in general. We are not the GA. A majority of the GA probably loves their dynamic as friends, and doesn't read more into it.

Well thank you. 😘 I fully, and freely, acknowledge that I was much more passionate about the possibility in season four (my first with the fandom) and season five (Eddie wasn't gonna date again, I knew TayKay's days were numbered, BL died before it ever really took off), but honestly? The most fun I've had as a viewer was during this past season. I wasn't watching episodes with the hope that the interviews were a fraction of or a twist on the truth. I wasn't trying to figure out when and how "couch theory" would finally reach its conclusion in a way that benefited Buddie. I wasn't thinking about Eddie getting into dating again leading to a coming out so that 9-1-1 could pull off a "Buddie speedrun" after the changes from 6A to 6B (which we later learned was due to the show leaving FOX). There's nothing wrong with doing all of those things and still accepting whatever really happens on screen, but let's be honest, so many in this fandom get so attached to their headcanons that they do not know how to enjoy the show or the fandom experience unless things go exactly how they envisioned. If your happiness is taking a hit because you got your hopes up about a fictional, fanon ship...it's time for a break. Maybe permanently. And just to support your thoughts on the GA (which I share), I think a BIG problem this fandom has is that they struggle with separating the two groups. "Buddie has to happen because nothing else makes narrative sense." To who? Those of us that automatically watch their scenes through a queer lens (because many of us are)? Those of us that find meaning in clothing or props? Those of us that can automatically make a connection between something Buddie does and something one of the het couples did? Buddie makes narrative sense to us because we started looking for it. The GA? Your mom and dad and aunt and uncle and grandparents? It's not that deep for them.

[sibylsleaves]

I really like the idea of some kind of injury/illness being the new lifestyle change that Ryan is talking about, because honestly I have no other idea what it could be. Sidenote: I know you're not thinking he's getting a queer realization this season (honestly rn I'm not either, its just too much to cram into 3 episodes) but do you think we might get one next season?

answering these together because even though i know queer realization & feelings realization (which i believe is what the second anon is referring to) are different things i feel like they're obviously connected and my answer is kind of the same for both of them. so.

I've never been the person who's 100% sure they are going to make Buddie canonically romantic and that's still true now. (Actually the scene that made me a believer didn't happen until season 6...for some reason it was the graveyard scene, although really it was the way the show KEPT emphasizing Eddie and Buck's relationship throughout 6b. The graveyard scene just felt incredibly pointed at the end of like 3 straight episodes of grief/tenderness/flirtiness/etc).

Did getting canon confirmation of Bi Buck change my opinion? Of course. But it moved me from basically thinking there was very little chance to thinking there's maybe a 50% chance. I don't necessarily think that just because we have Bi Buck means we're definitely for sure no doubt about it getting Buddie. Do I want that? yes, obviously.

I think where I'm at now is hopeful that it is coming next season--and by "it" i mean any truly unambiguous indication that Buck and Eddie have romantic feelings for one another (whether or not they actually get together, which I think they could potentially draw out a bit longer).

Where I'm also at is that if they don't do that next season, I'm not sure it's happening at all. Confirming Buck as bi is, imo, THE biggest catalyst they have toward turning Eddie and Buck's relationship romantic. And the fact of the matter is we (and they) don't know how many seasons we're getting after season 8 so if they do want to do it, they might as well do it now (and by now I mean next season).

I believe Tim when he says that he doesn't plan storylines out super far in advance. So I do believe that he may not even know for sure whether they are going to go down that road or not.

What I also know is that he loves Buck and Eddie and their dynamic and so if nothing else I trust him and the other writers to continue writing that relationship with the care and love and nuance that made me into a Buddie shipper to begin with. I don't need them to be canonically romantically together in order to enjoy the show or enjoy the ship. Obviously, I would love it if they did and I think it would be a great storytelling choice to shake up one of the main dynamics in the cast. It would give them a lot of new material and story to explore, which, after eight seasons, they kind of desperately need, given how repetitive/dead-ended/just plain ABSURD some of the storylines have felt in recent seasons.

At the end of the day I do think Tim/the writers are going to do whatever it is they want to do, and whatever they think is right for the story. As a creator I respect that, even if I might not agree about what the right thing for the story is.

[beansprean]

Hey bean!!!! I love your art so so much and your comics fill me with joy!! Would you mind sharing what's your process to make them?

Helllooooooo ty!! Of course!! Tbh it’s pretty loosey goosey and procreate isn’t the greatest program for comic building, but I manage lol. I usually start with the dialogue (my favorite thing to write!) which may initially be written blearily in bed at 3am in my notes app or directly onto the canvas. I usually build scenes based on the dialogue, which I’m sure is obvious in hindsight since most of my comics are just long drawn out arguments LOL. From there, I do a very rough sketch/storyboard to get the idea of the page down and how I want the panels to look, expressions, movement, etc. I’ll use a piece from queening the pawn act 2 part 2 as a simple example:

I primarily use the 6b pencil for these two stages. Very rough!! Then I turn the opacity wayyy down and do a cleaner sketch over the top, nailing down more details and expressions. This is also where I will use pose references if needed and warp the lines if I need to make something bigger/smaller (bc I don’t have vector layers and they will get blurry once I resize lol). I also usually add the dialogue text at this stage so I can refer to it without having to open up and squint at the barely-there storyboard layer lol. (More under cut, I am not known for my brevity)

Now I can do the lineart (studio pen!) and draw the panel boxes (by hand like a loser using the monoline calligraphy brush). I do the panels after the lineart so I know exactly how to size them for the characters and what I might be cutting off. I do the background lineart after so I don’t end up drawing more than I need to outside the boxes.

You can see at this point I decided to change Guillermo’s position in the first panel, having his arms down rather than up and removing his glasses - the angle of his left hand ended up being very finicky and I decided I wanted to see his expression (and not worry about his glasses immediately reappearing in the next panel lol). I can now add the background, which I either erase around the characters or use a masking layer on (if I have room for more layers lol) Then I start coloring, primarily using a very plain no-pressure paint brush (custom, for to save my wrist) for base colors and then build on patterns from there, changing layers as needed. I add my cheek color at 50% multiply, pop on the dialogue bubbles, and that’s pretty much it!

Very simple shot-reverse-shot scene, but my process is pretty much the same even for more complex stuff like

I’ll play around a lot with effects and background and lighting if I feel like it or if I feel the scene demands it (like the glasses panel - the Tarantino eyes and the glasses flash add to the dra~ma lol), and one thing I know I need to work on is flow! My instinct is often to expect your eyes to go left to right, down, and left to right again, but it’s really pleasing to have something to follow with your eye -like dialogue boxes. In the above you can see how I warped the panels and the angles of Guillermo’s attack to try to make it more exciting to look at and have a smoother flow. Def better than just two rectangular panels on top of each other, but I could have gone way harder on the angle of impact. Always learning and growing!! I just run out of room so often bc I hate using different canvasses for multiple pages, I feel like I lose the flow if I can’t see them on top of each other lol.

ANYWAY. Long fucking post. If you want to start drawing comics my advice is to Just Do It. The more you do them, the better you’ll get and the more fun you’ll have making them!! I never ever thought I would be the kind of person who does longform fan comics (we love you reapersun), but here I am having a blast lmao. Hope this answers your inquiry even a little bit, I’m afraid I am both long winded and extremely undisciplined!! ❤️❤️

[matan4il]

I wondered about that too I was thinking since the bridge collapse is a major catastrophe that it will be 2 episodes but I guess it's because of the show cancellation and thinking its the final season besides they actually never really had major calls in s6 so budget was really affected

Hi Nonnie, thank you for this ask!

I feel like if so many people are raising an eyebrow at the bridge collapse not being a two part call, that says something. It just did not feel quite right to me, even though there were moments in it that did affect me. But the same moments I think would have worked even better if this was spread out. If we could have had more time to see the impact of these moments on our firefighters. Maybe even interlace these moments with flashbacks to their personal lives. Think about how much more impactful Hen's bits in the call would have been if we got to see her thinking about her last conversations with Karen during it, for example. Or Buck rescuing Eddie, how much more poignant would it have been if it got injected with flashbacks to their domestic joy with Chris? Or a conversation bringing up the will?

We did have at least one big call (Buck's lightning strike) where they did the right thing and spread it out across two eps. I also am not sure about the budget... If they thought they were over, wouldn't it make more sense not to hold back and spend everything they had left on the last ep?

I honestly have no idea how the possible cancellation of 911 influenced 618. I can see three possible scenarios:

They always knew it could be cancelled, went in planning for this ep to be the last one, and made zero changes after finding out that they got picked up by ABC, so we watched the show finale as they planned it, no constraints involved.

They knew the show could be cancelled, but felt pretty confident that they'd get picked up, planning s6 as if it would be. At some point they realized the possibility of cancellation is real and hastily adapted the end of 6b so 618 would be the show finale. When they did get picked up, no changes were made 'coz that would be the second time around, so we got the rushed finale version.

They knew the show could be cancelled and decided to plan for it, building s6 as if it's the last season. At some point they realized the possibility of being picked up is much greater than they thought and hastily adapted 618 to leave stuff for the next seasons. What we saw is an adapted version of the show finale, meant to have us wanting to continue, since there are still some issues, like Buck once more making the wrong romantic choices.

I have NO IDEA which one of these we witnessed! What do you think, Nonnie? Your guess is as good as mine. But since I really don't think we'll know until someone there chooses to tell us (and if someone does, please update me), I'm gonna put this matter aside and stop wondering about it, I'll just feel very grateful this is not 911's finale.

Thank you for chiming in! I hope this helps. As always, here is my ask tag. xoxox

[tcmmykinard]

on a scale of 1 to 10, how realistic do you think it is to hope for a buddie relationship? do you think it will stay wishful thinking from fans or are they actually making it canon?

hm i'm gonna say 9 at this point.. before this season i would have said maybe a little bit lower but with all of the hints and the metaphors and the nodding at said metaphors with buck/eddie parallels and all of the throw back quotes .. just. it feels like we went from shipping them and the writers/actors being aware of it and adding the occasional nod at us to the writers really acknowledging it more openly once buck/taylor and eddie/ana broke up .. like IF we're right about it all, i really do think this was planned as a long game kind of thing but when we got to buck being injured in 6b, it all kind of sped up quite a bit more and i think it became so much more obvious that this is the direction they are leading

BUT this is all just my personal opinion and other buddie shippers -it very well could end with buddie not being canon but it really wouldn't change just how deep their relationship goes and how easily it could be construed as something more

[gotham-ruaidh]

Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

Catch up: Chapter 1 (Starry Eyes) || Chapter 2 (Save Our Souls) || Chapter 3 (Dancing On Glass)|| Chapter 4 (Merry-Go-Round)|| Backstage (1) || Backstage (2) || Chapter 5 (Danger)|| Backstage (3) || Chapter 6A (Love Walked In) || Chapter 6B (Without You) || Backstage (4) || Chapter 7 (Stick To Your Guns) || Chapter 8 (Time For Change) || Backstage (5) || Chapter 9 (Take Me To The Top) || Backstage (6) || Chapter 10 (Home Sweet Home) || Backstage (7) || Chapter 11a (Nightrain) || Chapter 11b (Nothing Else Matters) ||| Also posted at AO3

Chapter 12A: Handle With Care

Been beat up and battered 'round // Been sent up, and I've been shot down You're the best thing that I've ever found // Handle me with care

Soundtrack: “Handle With Care,” Traveling Wilburys, 1988 [click here to listen]

New York City || January 1988

“Watch out!”

Claire Beauchamp hoisted her overnight bag to hang from her shoulder at a different angle, biting back an insult at the man who’d just shoved into her. Nothing good would come from a confrontation, but she still flipped a middle finger from the safety of her pocket.

It was a typical weeknight rush hour at Penn Station – the squashed labyrinth that was such a poor substitute to the grand cathedral to train travel that had been so ruthlessly demolished in the 1960s. Commuters flitted across the concourse, coattails and long winter scarves flying behind as they ran to catch trains to Oyster Bay or Pennsauken. Huddled up against the walls stood the motley crew of homeless, beggars, prostitutes, drunks, and hustlers who tried to stay invisible or plied their trade among the crowd.

She’d been warned against pickpockets, and accepting “taxi” rides from strangers who approached solo women. Her fist clenched around the piece of paper she’d torn from the notebook kept by the phone in her shoebox Boston apartment, where just yesterday she’d scribbled the instructions…

Cross the Amtrak concourse. Up the stairs to the street – the Eighth Avenue side. Up the stairs of the old Farley Post Office. Third column from the left.

Cold air blasted at the top of the escalator at street level. She shoved her hands deeper into her pockets, narrowly avoiding being hit by two boys wearing Rangers jerseys. Stepped around a large puddle as she crossed Eighth Avenue. Kept her head up as she approached the post office, counting columns.

Immediately she knew it was him – though he was a good fifty yards away. Leaning against the dirty old column, long legs crossed, collar of an ancient leather jacket turned up against the cold.

He saw her immediately, too. Stood up straight. Patient.

He took her hands – so cold – at the top of the stairs.

“Why didn’t you bring gloves?”

“Why are you wearing sunglasses at night?”

“I didn’t realize you were a Corey Hart fan,” he teased, grin widening.

She threaded her fingers through his. “Hi,” she breathed.

Jamie stepped closer, still smiling. Kissed Claire long and sweet in the shadow of the column, with hundreds of people bustling by. Anonymous.

--

“And you’re sure it’s not putting him out to have me there, too?”

He hadn’t let go of her hand, and squeezed it, shifting a bit to re-fold his legs in the cramped back seat of the yellow cab.

“It’s definitely not. I’ve told him a lot about you. I hope you don’t mind. He’s really eager to meet you.”

She watched the long string of streetlights dotted down the avenue shift to green. “All right. But I still don’t understand why you won’t tell me who he is.”

“You’ll meet him soon enough.” He brought the back of her hand to his lips for a kiss. “And before you ask – you’ll have your own room. Like we talked about.”

They’d finished treatment at The Ridge just a few weeks apart – he the day after Thanksgiving, she the week before Christmas. Today was their first time together since Thanksgiving morning, in North Carolina, where she cried as he kissed her goodbye and stepped in the limousine that took him to the airport and a private plane back to Los Angeles. He’d called her at The Ridge every day, and then at her apartment in Boston once she returned there.

Because it was definitely, truly real between them. Something in their souls called out to each other. Claire was right – they were each other’s reset from a life that they hadn’t wanted. Now they wanted nothing but a life with each other.

But the Real World was hard – so, so hard. She was still on indefinite leave from the hospital; his band Print was still on hiatus, though thankfully his bloodsucking manager didn’t harass him every day anymore (he’d broken off that business arrangement, thanks to the intervention of Ned Gowan, a fellow patient at The Ridge who turned out to have quite a sharp legal mind when he wasn’t smoking crack). They had returned to their “normal” places, but struggled to build new normal routines.

They talked every day – multiple times a day – running up an astronomical long distance bill that Jamie said he’d pay for Claire. They talked about the people they knew at The Ridge, and the mundane things each of them had done that day, and crazy people Claire had seen in the grocery store, and kind fan letters Jamie had received. They talked about Jamie’s plans to do a string of acoustic concerts in the spring, testing out the dozen new songs he’d written at The Ridge (and since his return) about Claire, and sobriety, and finding strength, and Claire. And they talked about Claire’s plan to return to work, but perhaps as a family physician rather than the pressure cooker of surgery. And they talked about the life they’d build, and the places they could live.

They agreed to take their relationship slow. Not just because of his history with women – but because they could. He invited her to his house in LA, and quickly said that the guest wing was really great and completely at her disposal. She invited him to her cramped Back Bay apartment, and offered her lumpy couch.

All of it was like a dream. So when last night Jamie had asked her to meet him in New York, she didn’t realize that he meant the next day. Because that would make the dream real. Transform the voice on the phone to the living, breathing man that had held the taxi door open for her, and insisted she meet his new sobriety sponsor.

“I know you told me last night how you were introduced to him. But it’s a bit of a blur. Would you mind telling me again?”

He traced the back of her hand with his thumb. “Dougal introduced us.”

“Dougal MacKenzie? From The Ridge?”

He nodded. “They’ve known each other for a long, long time. Ran in some of the same circles, back in the 60s. This guy was living down the street from The Vanguard – that’s a jazz club in Greenwich Village. He and his band would go there every night to check out Dougal’s quartet. I think Dougal played saxophone. Anyway, he and Dougal shared a mutual interest in two things – jazz, and smack. They had the same dealer and everything.”

“But I assume he’s clean now?”

“Yup. He and Dougal got clean around the same time. Dougal left the big city and started The Ridge. This guy stayed. Almost lost his band and his wife. But he’s stronger than ever. And I want to do that, Claire. I want to be like him.”

The cab braked to a stop in front of a handsome brownstone. Claire fished in her pocket for a twenty, and slipped it through the plexiglass divider next to the driver before Jamie could even blink.

He huffed. “I’ll get your bag out of the trunk.”

--

A kindly, middle-aged woman answered the door when Jamie knocked. “You must be Claire! Come in, get out of the cold.”

Claire stepped through the entryway and shrugged out of her coat, hanging it on the coatrack. The entryway opened into a foyer – a staircase hugged the wall at one end, and the long, narrow hallway ended in what could only be the kitchen. Framed gold records – at least a dozen – dotted the wall along the hallway.

“I’ll take your bag to the guest room.” Jamie was already halfway up the stairs.

Claire turned to her hostess. The woman appeared to be in her fifties – laugh lines creased her eyes, and her blonde hair was twisted in a chic bun. “Thank you so much again for your hospitality – ”

“Oh! How rude of me. I’m Glenna.”

Claire gently shook the offered hand. “Thank you, Glenna. You have a beautiful home.”

Glenna smiled. “My husband and I bought it with the advance from his second record, back in ’65. We’ve fixed it all up, over the years. Having projects here really helped him once he got clean, because he had something to really focus on.”

Claire nodded. “Are you – ”

“In recovery? No – I never touched the smack, or anything else. Our daughter was born right before his first record, and then our son a few years later. I couldn’t be high and take care of them, too.” She paused. “Jamie said you met at The Ridge?”

Claire nodded. “Pills. Halcions, mostly. I’m a surgeon, and I threw my career away after my divorce. It’s funny to say, but Jamie was the absolutely last thing that I needed.”

Glenna shook her head. “That’s how it always works, honey. It was the same with me and Alec. Here I am, minding my own business, working as a typist at Columbia Records, when this group of four scruffy guys in sunglasses and leather jackets and motorcycle boots shuffle in to see their A&R guy. Alec took one look at me, and the next thing I know I’m down at the Village Vanguard and he’s holding my hand. We got married six weeks later. That was 34 years ago.”

Claire blinked. “That’s some story.”

“It’s all true.” A middle-aged man appeared from down the hall, kitchen towel slung over his shoulder. “She almost divorced me when I blew ten grand on smack instead of pay the kids’ school tuition. But somehow she stuck with me.” He reached out a hand, smiling kindly. “Alec MacMahon. Welcome to our home.”

Jamie padded softly down the stairs.

Claire frowned a bit, then it dawned on her.

“Alec MacMahon?” she said a bit dumbly. “Holy shit. I had an Uprising poster on my bedroom wall in high school.”

“Which one? The Master of the Horse album cover?” Jamie stepped next to Claire, grinning.

She nodded, mind still processing. “I wore out the record, I listened to it so much.”

Alec smiled. “Well, thanks for buying it. Put my son through college, that record did. But I’m a terrible host. Let’s take a seat in the living room.”

To be continued...

[whitedahlia13]

You haven't seen the movie and I am glad you didn't. It was... well... I'm just wondering if there's gonna be the second movie, without DoB, do you think we'll get anything good? Jeff said there was a scene, which didn't make it, where Lydia picks up phone to call someone and the camera shows Stiles' name on it, I just... This gives me too much hope, right? how can one trust Jeff Davis after pre-season 4 interviews and pre-movie interviews...

Everything I’ve heard about the movie has made me even more glad I didn’t see it too. So, I’m sorry to say it, but no, I don’t hold out hope for any quality Stydia in future films. Without Stiles we are missing half of our OTP – and the beating heart of Teen Wolf. There, I said it. Not taking it back. The show is lifeless without Dylan O'Brien.

As far as Jeff Davis’s comments… After all this time, I’ve learned not to put much stock into what he says. He's notorious for tossing fans breadcrumbs—and then, not delivering the goods. I’ve lost track of how many times he has teased cut scenes over the years. Remember how there was supposed to be a Stydia love scene in 6x10?

The fact that he even mentioned this new cut scene is suspicious. Why not just SHOW IT? He literally has the power to decide what stays and what goes. I don’t believe it has anything to do with time or expense. Like most Stydia scenes, it couldn’t have been more than a few seconds, which is a drop in the ocean in an almost 2.5-hour movie. And what TW saved on their lighting budget over the years surely could have been put into a Stydia Savings Account to fund the filming of a ten-second scene.

You're right to be cautious. I don’t trust JD either. I mean, there were other ways to explain Stiles’s absence—but he chose the version where Lydia leaves him, and frankly, it feels cruel. Sure, there were worse options (which we will not discuss) but still… Why break up the only couple that no one actually got to see as a couple? Again, show, don’t tell. Jeff claims to love Stydia, but he had a similar opportunity to work around Dylan’s absence (i.e. ALL of 6b) and he did the bare minimum, for the most part choosing to ignore Stydia at every turn. Obviously, Dylan couldn’t be there, but that didn’t mean Stiles couldn’t be. What about texts, emails, photos? And Dylan was in the finale that does not exist. But where was the Stydia we waited for? Hardly any eye contact, a brief hand hold, and (thankfully) the two of them getting out of the Jeep together at the end. More breadcrumbs...

All things considered, it’s actually a miracle we got the Stydia we did over six years. And that is in huge part thanks to Dylan O’Brien and Holland Roden. The way they understood and played these characters, the way they (especially Dylan) fought for Stydia was commendable and unforgettable. I’m more than happy to keep what they gave us close to my heart, to keep insisting that 6x10 was the finale, and to bolt for the nearest exit next time a movie date is announced.

Thank you for your question, love. I’m SO sorry I couldn’t be reassuring. Just remember, we’re all in this together. The Stydia we know and love haven’t changed. Plus, there are always fics to read for new, much more satisfying content.