#i hope this clears things up a bit!!

[prinsomnia]

smitten 🦋

[reasonsforhope]

Hey adults: Why do you like being an adult? What do you like about your life?

A couple weeks ago I told the kids at my work that "Being an adult is pretty nice, actually," and they looked shocked, laughed incredulously, and told me I was the first person they'd ever heard say that

So clearly we adults need to talk about this way more often

The past few years have been hard for a lot of people, me included. Covid sucked. I lost three relatives and three pets in one year. Right after lockdown ended, I got badly injured, and ended up housebound for six months and (much more) disabled for two years, and that sucked too.

And you know what? Literally all of that was easier and better than being a teenager.

I like being an adult. I like my life. Even when it's hard, it's mine, and I am building to the best of my ability the a life that I want to live.

I talked about a lot of why being an adult is something worth looking forward to in my last post, so right now I'll simply say this:

I love actually knowing who I am now. I love that I learned and am learning what I want and need. I love that I have independence and autonomy and don't get treated like a kid. I love the fact that I'm the one who gets to decide want I want to do and what I need. I also love that I'm learning to sew. I love that I've had pet rats, and next will have a pet cat. I love that I got top surgery. I love the way I've decorated my room. I love traveling to visit and crash and even just hang out and do work with my friends, when I can. I love that I started reading good news every day, and that I actually have hope for the future, and that I started this blog and have been able to help give so many other people hope, too.

So, here's a call to action for my fellow adults: comment or reply or tag what you like about being an adult. What you love about your life.

Let's give some kids some reasons for hope.

[bi-scottsummers]

Hi, hello, just came here to say that I love your fic "trending in Japan". I was wondering if you had headcanons regarding Kenji or Emi or interpersonal relationships and stuff. Many hugs for you.

hi hello, thank you for the encouragement and hugs! After some thought ive realized I do in fact have some hcs about some of the character dynamics in the movie as well as just kenji himself, cause hes captivated my entire brain:

Kenji & Emi

Emi does not have teeth but she does inexplicably have a teething phase. kenji is forced to hide all his (salvaged) fancy cars in the garage bc the corvette's already been chewed to hell and his heart is gonna give out if he has to watch any more classics get wrecked

he reads her bedtime stories. A lot of aesop's fables, because theyre short and fun and hes trying to raise his monster daughter with good morals. emi goes hogwild for these but its unclear if she actually understands what hes saying; kenji's pretty sure she just likes the silly voices he uses for different characters

they go flying together! they go first thing in the morning before breakfast - it helps kenji shake off the grogginess of sleep and emi gets to stretch her wings. shes not able to go very far for very long initially, but as she grows and gets those cardio gainz she almost gets to be quicker than him. they have races and play air tag :)

while she doesnt have the vocal range to speak english herself, it becomes clear that emi does understand it well. (kenji also develops an ear for her chirping/squawks, though body language & facial expressions play a big part in communication for both of them) during her (much later) rebellious phase she'll simply pretend not to know what's being said when kenji is telling her to do something she doesn't wanna do, which frustrates him to no end

Kenji

developed a pretty massive chip on his shoulder after moving to the states. it wasn't just bitterness over his dad staying behind, though that was a part of it. this is canon but he was picked on in school for "how [he talked], how [he looked] and what [he ate]." he felt like he had something to prove to both his father and the world. he threw himself into sports - specifically baseball - and his academics, and he did so well that it forced everyone to shut up about how he was different from them and focus on how he was better than them

^ playing off this: kenji had a bonkers fucking yonkers routine when he was a kid/in highschool. he'd get up hours before school started to practice his swing, go for a ~1hr run, workout, study, etc. He'd go to school, come home, and do it all again. this is exaggerated but my point is that this kid was DETERMINED and had the discipline to see that determination through to the end

didnt have many friends because of all aforementioned things. he had acquaintances, and he was invited to parties and outings and stuff (never went), but he spent most of his free time hanging out with his mom. he never really had a "parents are so embarrassing" phase. he always liked to do anything with his mother: going to the bank, going grocery shopping, watching cheesy telenovelas till ungodly hours in the morning, etc. she was his no.1 supporter, confidant, and best friend

he played for his university's baseball team and got scouted at 19. his mom forced him to finish his bachelor's first so once he graduated with his degree in kinesiology at 21, he was drafted to the dodgers

Kenji & Ami

both of them, up until meeting each other, were totally dedicated to their career (and child) so they had basically 0 time for friends. theyre both borderline losers but theyre juuust good enough at what they do for people to admire them instead of finding them sad and lowkey pathetic

kenji is way more into the idea of being friends than ami is. hes pretty enthusiastic about it; he thinks that they have a kind of rapport, since they share a similar work ethic and are both (unbeknownst to ami) single parents. he calls her to chat abt random things. ami initially isnt superrrr into it; she thinks kenji is kinda lonely and desperate for human connection, & it isnt until her mom points out that she has not spoken to anyone outside of work-related reasons in 10+ years that shes like oh shit, i am also lonely and desperate for human connection. so she grudgingly acquires a friend. theyre both really bad at it

need to clarify that in my mind their dynamic is 95% kenji yapping about work and drama in his personal life (circumventing the 8m baby kaiju hes raising) while ami goes "mhm mhm" and takes notes until kenji notices and is like What are you doing. at which point ami is like...... right . nothing. im listening. and forces herself to put the notepad away. she has a hard time disengaging from the reporter mindset and just hearing something intriguing without turning it into an article. the other 5% are the rare moments where theyre connecting super well - ami's psychoanalyzing the hell out of whatever kenji just said and hes like what are you my therapist. over time she starts opening up to him, too, and eventually theyre comfortable enough to be having philosophical discussions over breakfast just for funsies

before kenji reveals that hes ultraman, ami thinks hes in a gang. he keeps showing up to their lunch "dates" with like bruised eyes and fractured bones and gets all shifty when she tries to ask about what happened. when she eventually confronts him about it, hes so offended that she thinks hed be involved in something like that that he tells her about being ultraman

thats about all i can think of rn, though im sure ill think of more after rotating all the characters in my head for a while. thanks again for stopping in, i appreciate the support :)

[bluemooniegif]

Sorry if you have already talked about this but do you think Dazai’s bandages are to cover sh scars or something like that or something else like a traumatic injury. I have always assumed it was sh but my friend pointed out that he has said repeatedly he doesn’t like pain. Idk but thoughts would be appreciated :)

I have definitely talked about this before, but I forgot where or when, so let's go for round two!

CW for Dazai-typical suicide & self harm mentions

The fact that Dazai's bandages are such an obvious part of his character design, yet are rarely discussed, is absolutely intentional. As far as I remember, they're never even mentioned in the anime (except for moments such as when Chuuya calls him a walking waste of bandages), so it makes a lot of sense for everyone to be curious about what lies underneath.

Most people's minds go directly to self-harm scars, because duh, Osamu Dazai is the poster boy for mental illness. But then we think, wait... he doesn't like pain? He bitches and moans about it so much, in fact, that it casts a lot of doubt over the idea, and we end up back at square one.

Could it be because of No Longer Human? So he doesn't accidentally touch someone and activate his ability? This is honestly one of my favourite headcanons ever, and very plausible, considering that we don't actually know all that much about how NLH works... like why is it that Dazai can't control when it activates, for example? Everyone else can activate and subdue theirs, so it's got to have something to do with the fact that NLH is an anti-ability.

ANYWAY. Despite all this, there is actually an explanation of what he's hiding under there! It exists within the first few pages of Dark Era, but wasn't included in the anime adaptation. It's such an offhanded, throwaway thing, I don't blame people for missing it (side note: I wanna take the opportunity to remind you that Dark Era is mostly written from Oda's perspective!)

So yes, this is solid proof that there are scars he's hiding under there, but the question then becomes how he got them. We get a few examples on the following page:

Now, this is so ridiculous it's funny, and teetering on the edge of impracticality. If you've read No Longer Human, you'll immediately recognise this as clowning- Dazai is purposefully acting this way to detract from the seriousness of the situation. While yes, he's talking about serious injuries, and even admits to trying to kill himself, he does it in such a way that you just want to laugh.

So can we take these claims seriously? Is Dazai telling the full truth? There's no way for us to know, at this stage. But here are our options:

He is telling the truth, nothing more or less

He's partially telling the truth: owning up to the injuries, but not exactly how he got them

He's lying about the injuries and how he got them

Honestly, I think we can write off the third option, because the way Oda talks about his scars in the beginning makes me think he's perhaps seen some of them before. This makes sense when we consider The Day I Picked Up Dazai, in particular.

There's also something to be said about the nature of Dazai's job; I think it'd be remis of me not to mention it when Oda does. How much is he actually expected to put himself in harm's way? How much unnecessary danger does he put himself in- how much of this is actually self-harm? We may never know, but it's interesting to think about!

[userparamore]

hi! genuine question - why is it a disappointment that pmore performed at eras tour? i’m very neutral on taylor swift so i don’t really know the issues surrounding it. thank you in advance ❤️

i'm no taylor swift stan so i don't really want to, or have the energy to mention everything. but from a paramore fan perspective it's disappointing bc it's makes them come across as hypocrites. i've talked about this before and i don't want to get into it again but they've spoken up about climate change, hayley even jokes about root being about our planet "running out of time", they've partenered with REVERB on their this why tour (which i guess is a little greenwashing-ish but better than nothing). but this ends up being ungenuine when you tour with the artist who releases the most co2 emission out of every celebrity. the fact that she sued the kid who called her out for this, i think says alot about her as a person. paramore preaches about the shows being a safe place for everyone; all poc and lgbtq+. but then they tour with the prime example of white feminism, who only speaks up/comments on things if it affects her. and again with paramore claiming to be more political during the this is why album cycle, and expressed multiple times how important the diversity of their fans are etc. it does not seem genuine when they're praising an artist like taylor swift as much as they have been doing. i think that saying of: if you want to know someone, just look at who they choose to spend their time with, is very true.

another part of this and i think this is probably the biggest one for paramore fans in general is that the tours during this is why didn't include europe mainland (or asia). they toured only in uk&ireland for this is why, and then in interviews said they did an european tour. is the european tour in the room with us now? anyway, the last european mainland tour was jan 2018, and had only 3 dates that wasn't in the uk out of 8. so the last real european tour was summer 2017 with 18 dates. 6 of them was in the uk&ireland and 4 of the rest of the european dates were festivals leaving only 8 "real" concerts in mainland europe. lots of the countries on the eras tours, like italy, poland, switzerland etc paramore haven't played in over a decade (aka during the self-titled era). to have waited this long for them to tour and then for it to cost close to 400 dollars for a nosebleed ticket, if you even get a ticket, does not feel great. another thing is that for some of these countries paramore have made 2 albums since the last time they toured, and they've never had the opportunity to hear any of the songs from those albums live. as the opener act on the eras tour, paramore played 9 song. most of these were their greatest hits. as a paramore fan you obviously want to go to a concert to see them perform, but for that amount of money i think it's reasonable to want to hear other songs than still into you, ain't it fun and misery business. the setlist was catered to reach non-fans, and that's fine honestly, it would probably be worse for them to play songs "nobody" had heard, than the one's that had commercial success and makes them be able to have some crowd interaction.

either way, i don't think people would've been as disappointed by this tour if they had also announced an solo european tour. the argument that this will get them new fans and make them a bigger name doesn't hold water in my opinion bc paramore are already a big band. they're already a band who can sell out tours and big venues on their own.

[slavhew]

Hello!

If you're not too busy, would you mind listing some of the things you think count as death flags for Mr. Spender?

There's the obvious fact that he's the "old" mentor to group of young protagonists, but what else do you think would count?

OHH BOY ok so I'd think I'm a crackpot for this but since we're talking about Zack "Foreshadowing" Morrison. I have some thoughts

No harm in leading with the (chronologically) first thing that jumped out at me:

This one IMMEDIATELY made me antsy whenever I came back to it after my initial read, and considering Zack has referred to it on twitter in the past as one of their favorite jokes it's definitely not been forgotten about.

Second, the sheer amounts of near-misses, jokey or not, of Spender narrowly avoiding specifically lightning

Again, not much, but it's weird that it happened thrice, latter two of which had real gravitas rather than an one-off joke.

And third, Spender himself. He's repeatedly shown himself to be kind of a self sacrificing idiot, as well as prideful to a fault. Granted, it's both him and Mina trying to take on all the responsibility of saving Mayview and its inhabitants from their fate.. But Spender is exactly that right measure of doesn't-value-himself-enough (chest footprint aftercare or lack thereof), having an obscene amount of power (enables his loner act + pride) and poor judgement that has the capacity to put him at great risk. And it has!

Spender has not only shown low enough self-esteem to view himself as the de-facto scapegoat for the safety of the town, but also prideful enough to make very bad calls that end up in people, often himself, hurt (COUGH FORGE INCIDENT COUGH)

This is all conjecture, but it's definitely enough to make me worried about him :') Even if all this doesn't mean he'll necessarily die he's definitely getting (even more) seriously injured at some point. I love the guy but he's so far doing a horrible job of convincing me he wants to live bad enough to circumvent at least that

[i3utterflyeffect]

Hi! I'm new here but im really interested in the selkie sticks au. Can you resume and explain it to me please?

oh absolutely!!! selkie sticks is one of my favorites but you could probably already tell judging by how incessantly i post about it lol

so the summary is that selkies are not humans who can become seals in this au, but instead they're sticks who can become cursors!

after the events of AVA 1, c!Alan becomes trapped in his computer as a cursor. what he doesn't know at this point is that he's actually a selkie!

usually the progression of selkie growth goes from stick -> fluffy stick (in the shape of some sort of clothing) -> stick sheds coat, and that coat can be used to become a cursor, but since c!Alan is kind of a freak of nature he goes from cursor -> fluffy cursor -> stick with coat!

anyway throughout AVA 2 and 3, he's stuck as a cursor and none the wiser to his status as a selkie! however, he does make The Chosen One and The Dark Lord! they end up inheriting the selkie status. Chosen's coat is obviously kept away from them by Alan, though, and both Chosen and Dark's coats are destroyed too much to be actually used in AVA 3.

After AVA 3, Alan at some point sheds his coat, turning into a mostly just very confused stick, and while he's on the desktop, he ends up accidentally drawing SC! SC is also a baby for no reason other than I wanted to. anyway he's forced to go into the outernet because he has no idea how to raise a stick, and ends up living there in hopes that SC can at least be somewhat normal! SC is also a selkie though so normal is relative--

he does end up meeting king very early on and it splits into two AUs where Gold either survives (because Alan turns into a cursor to break open the minecraft machine) or dies, but for clarity's sake i'm going over the one where gold dies! King and Alan end up losing contact with each other after that point :(

but anyway! Chosen eventually ends up finding out that Alan is in the outernet after finding him caught up in the crossfire with SC after a fight with Dark, and they end up kind of following him around just to make sure he's not hurting SC! Alan does eventually find out, but ends up being okay with this because. like. yeah he was kind of terrible to them, that's fair enough

he also ends up adopting the color gang (much to Chosen's disbelief) and just raising the group in general as the closest thing to normal kids as he can manage, and Chosen ends up babysitting a lot and growing very attached to their little siblings! they don't tell Dark about any of this though because. you know. Alan.

this ends up kind of blowing up in their face when Dark ends up finding out about them anyway and trying to kill Alan, which is equivalent to the showdown!! it happens when SC and the CG are a lot younger so even though Dark doesn't end up attacking the kids SC still exhausts themself pretty badly healing Alan and taking Dark out. I don't think Dark dies in this AU, partially because SC is weaker, but no one finds that out for a while--

(Also! Dark uses the virus to make a faux coat basically since their old one is damaged too badly, but this pretty badly hurts them as well :3c)

anyway! Alan basically takes Chosen in under his wing after that since they're still pretty badly devastated by the loss of Dark, and also Alan feels just generally horrible about everything. he ends up using what's left of Dark's original coat (as well as a few pieces of his own coat) to repair Chosen's coat as a gift for them, and generally things are pretty peaceful after that up until AVA 6!

i haven't completely figured out what happens yet (i mean. kind of obvious since the arc itself isn't over) but i do know Vic ends up most likely stealing Alan's coat!

Vic is a very weird middle point between selkie and not-- they have fur, but never ended up shedding, and can use Alan's coat to transform!

anyway a few notes about the au:

a selkie giving someone their coat is more of an expression of trust than anything romantic! it's just essentially saying 'hey i trust you', the equivalent of a cat showing their belly. giving someone their coat can also be something they do to comfort someone who's going through something as it's a comforting thing for them!

selkies aren't a well-known legend in the outernet and typically someone would default to going 'oh, that's a human' before going 'oh, that's a selkie' if they saw a cursor!

alan can regrow his coat if it's destroyed; the others cannot

purple is a selkie because it's fun, i said so, and also getting hit with the Minecraft Beam fucked them up a little bit

SC thinks of King as something similar to an uncle! purple has a similar view of Alan since he helped them cope with becoming a selkie

cursor!alan is ridiculously big even for a selkie. he's actually taller than king in this form. i need you to know how scary he is to literally any stick who isn't a selkie he's so so so big

No one except MAYBE Agent (and Vic themself obv) knows that Vic is partially selkie.

[cecils-dragons]

So you prolly don't remember this bc it was back in 2019 but you liked a post by xxdemonic-heartxx with this content:

"An opinion

I get body positivity. But if you weigh close to 350-400lbs from fatty tissue you should get some help. Human bodies cant function as well as they should with that type of stress on the skeleton and joints and its gonna compromise your organs. Body positivity is okay but fat acceptance isnt. I’m not fatphobic. I’m concerned for the longevity you’re losing and the health conditions you’re pulling in. And the dangerous mindset that humans should be and can be fat. Yeah. Some fat is okay. But if you body fat percentage is 32% for women and 26% for men (or higher). Thats obese and very crippling to your health. Take care of yourself. It isnt a crime."

That plus the fact you never drew fat ppl (not like just little pudgy but actually fat) got me to the conclusion you must be fatphobic, so I have had you blocked but you still crossroads my dash sometimes bc tumblr is functional website. So after all these years is once again saw you on my dash so I thought I'd send an ask, it's been years and I was wondering maybe you have changed and you don't hold these views any more.

I know I am a spiteful bitch for remembering this. The op has deleted their blog and all I have is a screenshot I thought just sharing the post content would work since I am not here to make a callout post or want ppl to harass you I just want to make you think about your past and maybe present biases.

Thanks for more information on the ask as it was a bit scary to see after being woken up in the middle of the night by my dog barking.

Okay, you may be getting me mixed up with someone else because I don't follow xxdemonic-heartxx, I recognize them in our community but I don't follow many people because I like a curated dashboard and like even less stuff, so even if I liked it back then, first, I was 19, and second, likely a misclick because I don't like to interact with stuff like that for the sake of my own mental health as I deal with body dysmorphic disorder. I of course can't 100% say what I was thinking or clicking on around that time as I was 19(now 24) and due to trauma I don't really remember much around that time.

For the second part yeah, I was 19 and still getting use to drawing bodyily diverse people and when learning to draw you get taught to draw slim people as a default. I'm getting much better at it now but it was never because of prejudges, just ignorance and staying in my comfort zone. I don't really mind or care being blocked because of that because it's your opinion about me and I can't control that.

At the base, I would not be considering myself to have ever been fatphobic and I am sorry if it has come across that way as it's of course never my intention to make any group of people uncomfortable. I'm of course open to talking more about this if I am missing anything.

[dangans-ur-ronpas]

Chapter 18

are we finally getting somewhere with the trial? please??

SEE HERE FOR GENERAL WARNINGS AND FIC SUMMARY

Some pre-chapter notes:

was tempted to start this chapter with toko waking up and gasping 'i think i like girls!!'

wanted to say that everything would've been resolved way earlier if people were just a little nicer to toko before remembering that aoi was literally doing that and she STILL obsessed over byakuya. can we get this girl to a therapist please

shoutout to @digitaldollsworld for reading this at ass o'clock in the morning while i was still writing it. a real hero tbh

Content warning tags: self-deprecating language, implied self-harm, canon-typical manipulation and language

< previous - from start - next >

There’s a moment of stillness. Someone shouts in alarm, and a few people nearly step away from their stands with intention to help. But just as quickly, the dark figure slumped behind the rail begins to clamber slowly upwards, hands bracing against the balusters as she totters to an upright position.

Slowly, carefully, Toko Fukawa stands up straight, trembling all the while. “I-Is this a trial? W-what’s going o-on?!”

The stammer certainly sounds like Fukawa.“...Toko? That’s really you, right?” Asahina tries tentatively. “Um, are you okay? Are you feeling alright?”

“I…” She looks around, hands fisted tight around her braids, twitching with the same nervous quality of a bird. Her eyes must have landed on Byakuya, and the venomous stare he was giving her, because she squeaks and cowers again. “I-!”

“Chihiro’s body was found today. Approximately twenty minutes after you left the library.” He says coldly, words clipped and harsh. “Kyoko says you were both in the boy’s bathroom before the body discovery alarm. Can you verify this?”

“W-what?!” She stutters. “I-I don’t know w-what’s going on, I n-never know-” She’s shaking violently, as if she’s about to faint again.

“Let’s try a different question.” Kirigiri cuts in. “Toko. What were you doing between 12:30 and 1 o’clock today?”

“Wh- A-are you accusing me of s–something?!”

“No. But everyone else has given testimony on their whereabouts during this time. Yours would help grant us a better understanding of the course of events.” Kirigiri says patiently. Fukawa sways for a moment, thinking carefully, before she answers.

“Th-the library,” She half-mumbles, hands twisting in her braids over and over again, the black coils weaving over her pale fingers like eels. “Um, I w-wanted to talk to B-Byakuya alone, so I w-went to the library, a-and we t-talked for a bit…and then-”

He suddenly realizes what she’s about to say, but it’s too late to stop it. “Then, u-um, he h-hit me…w-with a book.”

He can feel eyes turning towards him, and the air turns disapproving. He scowls back. “She’s left out the part where she tried to blackmail me with the secret that she peeked at the other night.” He explains, and at once Fukawa flushes darkly and begins stammering something out.

“I-! I wasn’t b-blackmailing you!”

“What other word should I have used then? Manipulation? Coercion?” He asks sarcastically, and she shrivels and withers at his words.

“I told you m-my secret too, s-so it’d be fair-”

“You told me you were a serial killer who targets the men you fancied. Forgive me if I wasn’t immediately won over.”

The atmosphere turns a little less hostile at that. “Okay, yeah. If it’s like that I kinda get it.” Hagakure is nodding sagely, as if he understands everything. “But, seriously. You shouldn’t hit girls, man…”

“...Are you really going to do this now?” He just needed this trial to be over, already. The adrenaline of the earlier reveal had worn off, and now he felt sick with anger and exhaustion. “The whole thing barely took ten minutes. I wasn’t interested in dragging it out any longer than I had to.”

“Still, hitting is sort of-” But Hagakure shuts up at the glare Byakuya gives him, and quickly amends. “Never mind. Gender equality. Especially in self-defense. Cool, got it, my bad.”

“So, I suppose it is safe to assume that the source of the blood on your hand, and the book from earlier, was because of this confrontation?” Celeste asks. And, without waiting for an answer: “Then, that would also mean that the reason you were holding that file on Syo was due to what Toko had revealed to you.”

She sounds all too satisfied with herself for reaching that conclusion. “And so, it seems that the most damning evidence that had been implicating you has been disproven. Is that not reassuring?”

“...Don’t patronize me.”

“Why, I wouldn’t dare.” She laughs lightly, a soft sound that perfectly conceals her shrewdness.

“Toko. Please, continue.” Kirigiri says again, and there’s a quiet rustle as Fukawa yanks at her hair, the strands scraping over her fingers.

“A-after he h-hit me, I left…u-um, I went to the bathroom t-to w-wash my face, and when I touched the faucet - I-I mean, I wiped my f-face with my hands earlier, a-and the b-blood…” She trails off and shakes her head, and shoves her face into a fistful of her hair. 

Byakuya suddenly recalls something, something that Fukawa had mentioned during their confrontation in the library in a hurried, muttered tone. “Syo comes out when you see blood.” He remembers aloud, and her incoherent words begin clicking together.

Her pale face immediately darkens to an ugly, blotchy pink. “Yeah, um. I-I’m scared of b-blood, so…a-and when she’s out, I d-don’t have any m-memory of what s-she does.” She cradles her face in her hands, swaying a little like a swooning maiden. “S-so you did remember…” She mumbles, apparently to herself, and he feels his stomach turn with disgust.

It’s not worth wasting the effort on her to think of a response, so he opts to ignore her fawning instead. “So Toko left the library and went to the boy’s bathroom, and fainted after seeing the blood on her hand.” That seems logical enough, but something about this sequence of events bothered him. 

According to Kirigiri, Syo only woke up shortly before the body discovery. If Fukawa went to the bathroom right after leaving the library, why had it taken so long? And that aside, there was something that bothered him about her story. Something that he couldn’t place a finger on.

He’s not the only one who noticed the fallacy. “Excuse me, Toko,” Makoto tries tentatively. “So…that means from around 12:40 to one, you were unconscious?”

“Y-yes? What, do you n-not believe me?” She immediately goes on the defensive, cagey and snappish. “Y-you think I’m l-lying, right? J-just because I’m l-like this, you th-think that e-everything I say is a l-lie-?! Y-you all think I s-strung Chihiro up, I kn-know it!”

“Toko…no one said that.” Asahina has her hands raised, in some attempt to calm her down. “We just want to know what happened.”

She was proving to be an impossible witness. Byakuya raises a hand to press to his temple, feeling his pulse throbbing beneath his fingertips. “Kyoko. Can you verify what Toko has said?” He asks, exasperated, and Kirigiri actually seems to startle a bit, head snapping to look at him.

“...I can’t.” She says, after a pause. “Because she did not enter the bathroom at that time, or else I would have noticed it.”

She remains fixated on him for a moment longer, before turning away. Belatedly, he suddenly realizes this was the second time he’s caught her off guard. The first time was when he pointed out the fact that access to information on Genocider Syo was limited.

He doesn’t have the luxury to dwell on that though. “So, that means that either you, or Toko, is lying about their whereabouts during this time.” He sighs. “For now, we need to identify which one of you both is deceiving us.”

Both are equally suspicious. Kirigiri has been mysterious, even more so than usual, and purposefully vague about her activities. And he didn’t trust Fukawa at all to start with, but she was also clumsy and awkward. It was hard to imagine her being able to plan everything ahead to this degree, from planting the evidence, to staging the actual murder…

“Wait. Something’s not right.” Makoto says suddenly, and his voice is clear and contemplative, his chin tucked over his knuckle. “If Toko fainted before she actually washed her hands, then how come her hands are clean? Remember, when we first met Syo, she showed us that her hands were totally free of blood.”

“I-I-!” She squawks, indignant, but she can’t seem to formulate a reply for a few moments. “M-maybe Syo washed my h-hands or s-something, I don’t know! S-she’s the one that k-kills people, so o-of course she would h-hide her tracks!”

“But, again, the sinks of the boy’s bathroom were all dry.” Makoto points out, and Fukawa sputters some more. “And…”

He pauses, and his head dips for a moment, enough for a shadow to cast over his face. “Toko. How did you know that Chihiro is dead?”

Byakuya figures it out a half-step after him, and silently kicks himself for not picking up on it earlier. And the others pick up on it as well, and the atmosphere turns dark, thick with unease and suspicion. Same as the elevator ride down, but this time, directed at Fukawa.

She’s gaping like a fish. She turns left and right, shuffling slightly. The rails of the stand stand tall and straight like the bars of a cage. “I-that’s-the portraits!” She yelps, and jabs out a pale hand in Byakuya’s direction. “Ch-Chihiro’s portrait, i-it’s crossed out! Th-that means s-she’s dead, so-”

“He’s dead.” Byakuya corrects sharply, and glares so fiercely the confused question that Fukawa was preparing simply vanishes. “But the fact that you weren’t aware of that means that Chihiro never came to speak with you about it. When he already discussed the matter with the rest of us.”

“I-that doesn’t m-mean I k-killed he-him!”

“Maybe that doesn’t implicate you,” Kirigiri concedes. “But earlier, you said ‘strung Chihiro up’. How were you aware of what the crime scene looked like?”

Fukawa squeaks, and smacks her hands to her mouth, as if she can retroactively shove the words back. “Th-that- i-isn’t that like S-Syo’s habits? S-so o-of course I would a-assume-”

“Syo said the crime scene doesn’t match what she does.” Makoto interjects. “All her victims are pinned by her scissors. Like you said, Chihiro was crucified using a cord.”

“I-”

“The time period doesn’t make sense. If we assume that Kyoko is being truthful - why did it take so long for Syo to wake up, in the time between you fainting and Chihiro being found?” Byakuya stares at her icily, and she squirms and shudders beneath his gaze. “You woke up awfully quick just now. For someone accusing us of labeling you a liar, you don’t seem inclined to tell the truth about anything, do you?”

His words drip with vitriol and acid, and Fukawa digs her fingers into her scalp and stamps her foot and screams, a long, strangled noise of frustration and anger. It’s a piercing sound, sharp enough to make Byakuya flinch, and it echoes for a moment up to the high ceiling of the chamber. And then everyone is silent as she catches her breath, hands pulling slowly away from her thoroughly disheveled hair.

“Fine,” She spits, and somehow, her voice is steadier than he’s ever heard it. “I hung up Chihiro. A-and I framed Byakuya for it.”

The confession sounds almost giddy with how breathless she is, but maybe Byakuya was imagining it. After a moment’s pause for people to register what she said, there’s no small amount of shock.

“You- you did?!” Yamada, standing directly next to Fukawa, cows as far away as the stand will let him. “Wha- but you seemed so…”

He doesn’t finish his sentence, but the implication of the word ‘harmless’ hangs in the air. “Yes, I did.” She snaps back savagely. “I-it was easy. H-he’s so small, a-and I knew B-Byakuya would be l-looking for s-stuff on Syo…and, t-the extension cord…”

Byakuya suddenly remembers, then. How she had stumbled as she left the library, foot smashing through some box and getting tangled in its contents. And how he hadn’t paid any mind to it, already too preoccupied with his own survival to care.

“How did you manage it without turning into Syo?” Kirigiri asks, and Fukawa’s face twists. It's only as she turns her head, and Byakuya notices the subtle glint of her bared teeth, that he realizes that she’s grinning.

“He had been i-ignoring me f-for so long…I was w-working so hard. T-to be normal and good. S-so he would l-look at me…” It’s not hard to figure out who she was referring to by ‘he’. Byakuya feels eyes on him once more. But his attention is turned to her raised forearm, exposed by the sleeve drooping around her elbow from how her hands are clutching at her scalp, and the strip of white that is almost imperceptible against her already pale skin. “I-I thought if I could - I could g-get over it, I could prove th-that I could be normal, then…”

She trails off, energy quickly depleted. “So, you had been training to not immediately faint at the sight of blood.” Kirigiri concludes, and Fukawa nods once, jerkily.

“Wait, so you did all that just because he ignored you?” Hagakure asks, mouth agape.

“Yes!” She shrieks vehemently, so sharp and sudden that Byakuya nearly jumps. “You don’t get it! None of you g-get it! I-I can stand it i-if he was mean to me, o-or if he h-hated me, but- it’s the worst when h-he acts like I’m n-not even there!”

Her voice breaks, and for a long moment the only sound in the room is her quiet sobs. To some degree - and Byakuya is furious with himself for even thinking this - he understands why she might behave this way. Clearly, she had been abused, and likely neglected, and this manifested into the extreme, self-demeaning, aggressive behavior she displayed now. Her actions had a twisted logic. She herself was pitiable.

But just because he understood, did not mean he had to accept it.

“Well, you have my full attention now.” He says coldly. “Congratulations. Why don’t you try and keep that attention by telling us what we all want to know?”

“Yeah, how about you tell us how Chihiro died?” It takes Byakuya a moment to place that the question came from Owada, who had been mostly quiet for a while now. He’s not blazing with fury anymore, but there’s an edge in his voice now that Byakuya can’t read. “I don’t give a shit about your fucking crush. I want to know how you killed Chihiro.”

Fukawa tilts her head in thought, and the action is somehow reminiscent of Syo. “B-but, I didn’t kill Chihiro?” She says, and she sounds almost innocent. “I-I just found the b-body…I-I think if I d-did kill him th-then Syo w-would have woken up r-right away.”

As if anticipating it, Kirigiri raises her hands, as if trying to stop the rush of questions and shocked exclamations from the others. It’s no use though, as Owada bellows: “Like hell we’re believing that!”

“Guys, the time limit-!” Makoto has to shout above the din. At that, Byakuya glances at the clock hanging over Monokuma’s chair, the flashing red digits initiating a countdown. How long had it been already? How much time was left? There was no way for him to tell. He’d totally forgotten about it. “Just. Toko, can you tell us how you found the body? Please?”

“W-why should I?” Byakuya feels his jaw physically creak with how hard he’s grinding his teeth. It seemed that in the time Fukawa spent unconscious, she had absorbed the worst aspects of Syo’s personality.

“We may all perish if you don’t.” Sakura points out, a low threat in her voice.

“I-I don’t care.”

Byakuya thinks he might scream. “Why?! What else do you have left to lose?” He demands, and his voice rasps slightly, throat sore from how much he’d been talking. “We know what you’ve done already. You’ve already revealed everything about me. What else do you want?!”

And she giggles, a breathless, insane sound. “I-I don’t c-care what happens t-to me,” She sings. “I hate you. I h-hate everyone here. I kn-know I-I’m gonna get t-targeted no matter w-what I do, b-because you all th-think I’m so horrible…so I should h-hit back f-first, right?” She wobbles, hands knotted in her hair again. “B-but I hate you the most. I-I wanted y-you to know how you made me feel, even j-just a little.”

Even without seeing her face, he can sense her malice, thick and unpleasant like the smell of rot. He hasn’t been the target of such blatant contempt in years, and the complete hostility that she radiates makes him feel a little unsteady.

“Fine. We will figure out the details ourselves. You’ve given us enough clues already.” Kirigiri replies coolly. “Unfortunately for you, only one person will be dying after this trial.”

He’s not sure how she can be so confident about that. The pounding in his head is getting worse, and as his eyes slip closed, he finds he’s not even sure where to start with everything; after all this, they were still not any closer to a definite conclusion. All they had done so far was run blindly around each other, getting lured to dead-ends and circles.

Through the low throb of pain in his skull, he can just barely make out the sound of quiet muttering fromMakoto’s direction. If he opened his eyes, he might have seen the other boy tapping his foot, resting his chin in his hand as he thinks. And if he could have seen, he might have noticed how Makoto’s eyes were darting, drawing invisible lines between fixed points in his mind.

“The place where Chihiro died. And Toko found the body. That’s what we need to figure out,” He says aloud, slowly. “I don’t think Chihiro died on the second floor. There’s no place with enough blood that could justify it, or enough evidence of a clean-up to suggest that it happened there. Even in the hallway where the body was found, the only blood there was against the wall from where Chihiro was crucified. There’s no splatter to match the method of death.”

“Yeah, but there’s no place on the first floor to suggest that Chihiro died there, either.” Asahina points out.

“No, there is one room. There was no blood there, but there was evidence that it was cleaned recently.” Even as he says this, Owada is beginning to gasp, ‘Wait-’, but he continues. “And, it’s somewhere someone got injured recently, so any blood that was missed can be explained away.”

He turns to the pale, silent figure of Kiyotaka Ishimaru, as still and unobtrusive as a ghost. “Taka. Can you please tell us what happened?”

___

Of course, Mondo blocks him before Taka can even respond.

“How dare you.” His voice is a low rumble, and he somehow looks angrier than Makoto has ever seen him. He can practically hear the creak of wood where Mondo was gripping the bannister, knuckles white and bulging. “What the fuck are you trying to pull, Makoto? What the fuck are you trying to say?!”

Makoto swallows, his heart feeling like it’s about to pop out of his chest. He’s seen Mondo both at his most violent moments, and at his kindest ones, his face softening with sympathy as he was listening to Chihiro, the hearty reassurance and gentle clap on the back he had offered to them both. But now Mondo looked like he might actually kill him, and would make it hurt while it happened.

But despite that, he presses on. “I know you said that a trophy fell on Taka’s head, and that’s how you found him. When I went to look at the trophy room, the floor was still wet, and it was clean - like, really clean. And I assumed it was because you went back and cleaned it up after Taka got injured, but looking back, that doesn’t make sense.” He glances briefly at Kyoko, who merely closes her eyes in silent assent. “If your friend had a concussion, wouldn’t you stay by his side?”

Mondo’s face pulls into a snarl, a vein bulging at his temple. “So what if I went back and cleaned it up? Maybe Taka wanted to rest alone. What the hell does that matter?”

“No, I think it does matter. You don’t act like it, but you’re really nice, Mondo. When you were talking with me and Chihiro, and told us about your bro-”

He cuts himself off for a moment, suddenly hesitant. He’s already revealed Byakuya’s secret. He didn’t want to have to reveal Mondo’s as well, even now. He didn’t want to betray anyone else, but-

He already hates me for what I’m doing. He thinks to himself. Whether he reveals Mondo’s secret now or not, he knows that no matter what, he was going to be hated; there was no chance at the friendly ribbing and pleasant exchanges they had in the past. But even despite that, he finds himself unwilling to form the words on his tongue.

He needn’t have bothered though. Kyoko is the one who speaks up in his stead. “There’s no point in hiding the fact that you care deeply for Taka. We all remember the display of friendship the two of you put on the other day after spending weeks at each other’s throats. And as someone who’s familiar with violence, I imagine you’re also familiar with basic first aid; so why would you abandon someone with a head injury to clean up the other room?”

Mondo glares at her furiously, but there’s sweat beading on his forehead now. “You-you meddling bitch, what the fuck are you-?!”

“Please don’t misunderstand. I’m not trying to accuse you of anything.” She sighs. Makoto thinks she looks a little haggard, with dark rings of exhaustion under her eyes, and wonders when the last time she slept was. Despite that, her eyes are still sharp, and meet Mondo’s glower with a cool stare. “But, since we are missing out on Toko’s testimony, I think we should have our last witness speak for himself.”

And before she had even finished her sentence, Taka was opening his mouth.

< previous - from start - next >

[what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque]

My partner finally finished BG3 but has no idea that his ending was actually bad cause he was a pro-Vlaakith githyanki who rode off with Lae'zel but got NO EPILOGUE where Withers points out y'all died im 😭😭😭

they have no idea what happened with Gale or anyone else (who was still alive) after flying away 🙃🙃🙃

[longagoitwastuesday]

So so indebted to u for posting those lovely illustrations from Cyrano <333 & even more so for yr tags!! I'm completely in love w yr analysis, please feel free to ramble as long as u wish! Browsing through yr Cyrano de Bergerac tag has given me glimpses of so many adaptations & translations I'd never heard of before! I'll be watching the Solès version next, which I have only discovered today through u ^_^ As for translations, have u read many/all of them? I've only encountered the Renauld & Burgess translations in the wild, & I was curious to hear yr translation thoughts that they might guide my decision on which one I buy first (not necessarily Renauld or Burgess ofc). Have a splendid day & sorry for the likespam! 💙

Sorry for the delay. Don't mind the likespam, I'm glad you enjoyed my tags about Cyrano, and that they could contribute a bit to a further appreciation of the play. I loved it a lot, I got obsessed with it for months. It's always nice to know other people deeply love too that which is loved haha I hope you enjoy the Solès version, it may well be my favourite one!

About translations, I'm touched you're asking me, but I don't really know whether mine is the best opinion to ask. I have read... four or five English translations iirc, the ones I could find online, and I do (and especially did, back when I was reading them) have a lot of opinions about them. However, nor English nor French are my first languages (they are third and fourth respectively, so not even close). I just read and compare translations because that's one of my favourite things to do.

The fact is that no translation is perfect, of course. I barely remember Renauld's, but I think it was quite literal; that's good for understanding the basics of the text, concepts and characters, but form is subject, and there's always something that escapes too literal translations. Thomas and Guillemard's if I recall correctly is similar to Hooker's in cadence. It had some beautiful fragments, some I preferred over Hooker's, but overall I think to recall I liked Hooker's more. If memory serves, Hooker's was the most traditionally poetic and beautiful in my opinion. Burgess' is a whole different thing, with its perks and drawbacks.

Something noticeable in the other translations is that they are too... "epic". They do well the poetic, sorrowful, grief stricken, crushed by regrets aspects of Cyrano and the play in general, but they fall quite short in the funny and even pathetic aspects, and that too is key in Cyrano, both character and play. Given the characteristics of both languages, following the cadence of the French too literally, with those long verses, makes an English version sound far too solemn at times when the French text isn't. Thus Burgess changes the very cadence of the text, adapting it more to the English language. This translation is the one that best sets the different moods in the play, and as I said before form is subject, and that too is key: after all, the poetic aspect of Cyrano is as much true as his angry facet and his goofy one. If Cyrano isn't funny he isn't Cyrano, just as he wouldn't be Cyrano without his devotion to Roxane or his insecurities; Cyrano is who he is precisely because he has all these facets, because one side covers the other, because one trait is born from another, because one facet is used as weapon to protect the others, like a game of mirrors and smoke. We see them at different points through the play, often converging. Burgess' enhances that. He plays with the language itself in form and musicality, with words and absences, with truths masking other truths, with things stated but untold, much like Cyrano does. And the stage directions, poetic and with literary value in their own right in a way that reminded me of Valle Inclán and Oscar Wilde, interact with the text at times in an almost metatextual dimension that enhances that bond Cyrano has with words, giving them a sort of liminal air and strengthening that constant in the play: that words both conceal and unveil Cyrano, that in words he hides and words give him away.

But not all is good, at all. Unlike Hooker, Burgess reads to me as not entirely understanding every facet of the characters, and as if he didn't even like the play all that much, as if he had a bit of a disdainful attitude towards it, and found it too mushy. Which I can understand, but then why do you translate it? In my opinion the Burgess' translation does well bending English to transmit the different moods the French text does, and does pretty well understanding the more solemn, cool, funny, angry, poetic aspects of Cyrano, but less so his devotion, vulnerability, insecurities and his pathetism. It doesn't seem to get Roxane at all, how similar she is to Cyrano, nor why she has so many admirers. It does a very poor job at understanding Christian and his value, and writes him off as stupid imo. While I enjoyed the language aspect of the Burgess translation, I remember being quite angry at certain points reading it because of what it did to the characters and some changes he introduces. I think he did something very questionable with Le Bret and Castel-Jaloux, and I remember being incensed because of Roxane at times (for instance, she doesn't go to Arras in his version, which is a key scene to show just how much fire Roxane has, and that establishes several parallels with Cyrano, in attitude and words, but even in act since she does a bit what Cyrano later does with the nuns in the last act), and being very angry at several choices about Christian too. While not explicitly stated, I think the McAvoy production and the musical both follow this translation, because they too introduce these changes, and they make Christian as a character, and to an extent the entire play, not make sense.

For instance, once such change is that Christian is afraid that Roxane will be cultured (McAvoy's version has that infamous "shit"/"fuck" that I detest), when in the original French it's literally the opposite. He is not afraid she will be cultured, he is afraid she won't, because he does love and appreciate and admires those aspects of her, as he appreciates and admires them in Cyrano. That's key! Just as Cyrano longs to have what Christian has, Christian wants the same! That words escape him doesn't mean he doesn't understand or appreciate them. The dynamics make no sense without this aspect, and Burgess (and the productions that directly or indirectly follow him) constantly erases this core trait of Christian.

Another key moment of Christian Burgess butchers is the scene in Arras in which Christian discovers the truth. Burgess writes their discussion masterfully in form, it's both funny and poignant, but it falls short in concept: when Cyrano tells him the whole discussion about who does Roxane love and what will happen, what they'll do, is academic because they're both going to die, Christian states that dying is his role now. This destroys entirely the thing with Christian wanting Roxane to have the right to know, and the freedom to choose, or to refuse them both. As much as Cyrano proclaims his love for truth and not mincing words even in the face of authority, Cyrano is constantly drunk on lies and mirages, masks and metaphors. It's Christian who wants it all to end, the one who wants real things, the one who wants to risk his own happiness for the chance of his friend's, as well as for the woman he loves to stop living in a lie. That is a very interesting aspect of Christian, and another aspect in which he is written as both paralleling and contrasting Cyrano. It's interesting from a moral perspective and how that works with the characters, but it's also interesting from a conceptual point of view, both in text and metatextually: what they hold most dear, what they most want, what most fulfills them, what they most fear, their different approaches to life, but also metatextually another instance of that tears/blood motif and its ramifications constant through the whole text. Erasing that climatic decision and making him just simply suicidal erases those aspects of Christian and his place in the Christian/Cyrano/Roxane dynamic, all for plain superficial angst, that perhaps hits more in the moment, but holds less meaning.

Being more literal, and more solemn, Hooker's translation (or any of the others, but Hooker's seems to love the characters and understand them) doesn't make these conceptual mistakes. Now, would I not recommend reading Burgess' translation? I can't also say that. I had a lot of fun reading it, despite the occasional anger and indignation haha Would I recommend buying it? I recommend you give an eye to it first, if you're tempted and can initially only buy one.

You can read Burgess' translation entirely in archive.com. You can also find online the complete translations of Renauld, Hooker and Thomas and Guillemard. I also found a fifth one, iirc, but I can't recall it right now (I could give a look). You could read them before choosing, or read your favourite scenes and fragments in the different translations, and choose the one in which you like them better. That's often what I do.

Edit: I've checked to make sure and Roxane does appear in Arras in the translation. It's in the introduction in which it is stated that she doesn't appear in the production for which the translation was made. The conceptualisation of Roxane I criticise and that in my opinion is constant through the text does stay, though.

[strawberrylind]

Hi! I don't know if you check your notes on here, but I added some information about visceral body fat to your tutorial zine that I think would be really helpful for people. It's a factor that's always left out of the conversation when people talk about the appearance of body fat and I think that's just because nobody knows about it!

hi! i appreciate your input! just wanted to clarify something in what your tags mentioned. i understand that my tutorial wasn’t very inclusive towards amab body types (and that fatpos tutorials usually lean toward afab representation, which i agree) but that’s mainly because i was 17 when i made that post and didn’t have as wide a lens artistically or observationally as i do now. i’m working on creating a sequel tutorial including the difference between visceral/sebaceous fat, and i loved your addition on it. i definitely didn’t intend to exclude fat amab folks from my post, that just wasn’t something i felt knowledgeable enough to speak on, drawing from my lived experience. obviously to improve my work i’ve studied more extensively since then, and i hope my next tutorial will be full of more updated info and new contexts. <3 but of course thanks for adding it on, all of the additions (except for fatphobic people) on that post are wonderful! i’ll make sure to include this in the next one ^^/

[humornaut]

August/Water; or Who Listens to Sunny?

OMORI SPOILERS AHEAD - ANALYSIS OF BLACK SPACE AND BASIL AND SUNNY’S RELATIONSHIP

Hey all, I just had a bit of a theory/analysis of something that I noticed in Omori that hasn’t gotten a lot of attention, and it has to do with Black Space, and a few rooms in particular.

It’s not the main room that I want to talk about, but we should start with the Watermelon Area.

It’s the first and only mandatory Black Space area that involves Headspace Basil. From here, we can see that the Headspace Basils that appear in Black Space have memories that they shouldn’t, which is why they have been banished to Black Space and now killed as they bring these memories up.

This HS Basil, referencing the theme of the area, brings up watermelons, and specifically, how the group used to eat watermelons at the beach. After interacting with the seventh watermelon in the second part of the area, Basil breaks down rather than the watermelon. I’m sure there’s some kind of symbolism there, but it isn’t important for what I’m talking about.

What is important is that this Basil bringing up the trip to the beach and eating watermelon leads to the next area of Black Space, the Beach Area.

First, I want to acknowledge the parts of this area that I don’t see as especially relevant to this analysis. To paraphrase, Stranger’s dialogue is focused around if Basil and Sunny can truly call the others their friends, and about if there is any hope still left for them. In addition, there are photos scattered around the area that get scribbled out when you interact with them, giving another piece of foreshadowing that Sunny was the one that scribbled out the pictures in Basil’s photo album.

But what I really want to talk about in this area starts with it’s background music. The track for this area is one entitled August/Water. What really brought it to my attention was the fact that it was 1 minute and 43 seconds long. If you aren’t aware, 143 refers to the phrase, “I Love You”. It appears throughout the game, and is mostly related to Mari/Something, but it does appear in other places as well, for instance, HS Basil in the Boss Rush has 143 Heart at level 25, while Aubrey’s birthday (on non leap years) is the 143rd day of the year. It will also crop up again in the soundtrack in one of the later Black Space areas.

(edit: I also want to note that “143″ is not something that exists in any tangible ways to the characters of the game or within headspace. Outside of a few instances, it is almost exclusively found within character stats, damage amounts, and within the soundtrack. Instead, you should consider it as a way that the game conveys information to you without the characters “hearing” or “being aware” of what’s being said.)

What makes its appearance here so interesting, though, is that there is seemingly no one that it is referring to in the Beach Area. Stranger isn’t saying anything of note that would indicate any kind of feelings (though he definitely does elsewhere), and the only other NPC that can be interacted with is “BLUEGIRL”, who only appears as a WTF event. We’ll talk about her in a little bit.

So it’s important to acknowledge, since this area is so connected to the Beach Memory, that the trip to the beach is the last time chronologically that Sunny’s crush on Aubrey is depicted in the real world, via the Lost Library entry for the drive home, in which Sunny pretends to be asleep on Aubrey’s shoulder, so it’s possible that this is an Aubrey 143.

There’s just one problem with that. The trip to the beach, at least the one that is most relevant to what happens in the game, happens in June, while the song is clearly labeled August/Water. Now, it’s possible that they went to the beach more than once, and HS Basil in the watermelon room outright says that they did, but I think there’s more to it than that.

See, the group had a very busy August in the year that the photo album was made. On 8/4, they went beetle catching. On 8/14, they finished building the treehouse, and they hung out there again on 8/16, where everyone in the group is wearing the exact same outfits they were wearing two days ago. I don’t think that’s important, I just thought it was funny. Finally, on 8/18, at least Basil, Mari, Aubrey, and Kel went to Hobbeez to read the latest edition of Captain Spaceboy. Notably, none of these activities really involve water in the slightest. However, there is one big event involving water that we never actually get a date for, but had to have happened at some point over that Summer...

We know that Sunny almost drowning in the lake is something that must have happened at some point during the year the photo album was made, but we annoyingly don’t have an exact date, since Basil didn’t document his best friend almost dying, for some reason. Kel discovered the Lake Hideout in March, and they had to have used it enough that it ended up becoming their hideout in the first place. The incident also likely happened after the month of June, as I don’t see Mari agreeing to a beach trip if neither Sunny or Basil could go in the water. Now we never actually see Sunny in the water in this memory, but when you interact with Mari during this scene in Memory Lane, she mentions the heat as the reason Sunny wouldn’t want to be there, and not any fear of drowning keeping him from fully enjoying himself.

I do want to mention that there does exist a film from 1995 called August in the Water, which does feature a scene where one of the main characters is in a diving competition, falls incorrectly, and goes comatose for a bit, but I don’t really think this is intentionally referencing that movie, because there is a lot of stuff that happens in that movie.

Finally, in much the same way that the room before this referenced the trip to the Beach, the area after this, the Spider Area, references the incident at the lake.

So there we have it, right? August/Water is referencing the Lake Incident, so the 1:43 is a Mari 143, since Mari is the one that saved Sunny, right? Well... I don’t actually think so.

See, there’s a curious NPC in the Beach Area that only appears if your WTF value is 6 or higher.

“BLUEGIRL” is a very interesting NPC. All she does is move around the southern part of the Beach Area, and if you try to talk with her, she just says, “Don’t talk to me.” As this conclusion is different from my own, I would like to acknowledge that the wiki entry for BLUEGIRL draws similarities between her and Mari. I do feel that this conclusion is incorrect, because to me, this NPC looks just like Aubrey. Specifically, as she appears in this image, from the Final Duet:

Also, look! Sunny’s wearing the same outfit that he was wearing when Mari pulled him out of the lake! Isn’t that neat?

Obviously, Sunny was very much traumatized by the incident at the lake. It’s where he got his fear of heights, spiders, and drowning. He straight up didn’t even try to save himself, believing he was too weak and waiting for Hero and Kel to do so, but those two weren’t even the ones that pulled him out. If Mari hadn’t dove in, Sunny would be dead. Even after Sunny has conquered all of his fears in-game, interacting with the lake reveals that Sunny still sometimes feels like he has water in his head.

So, what do we make of all this?

The player isn’t supposed to really know about how Sunny would take the time to listen to Aubrey’s problems when they were younger quite yet. It’s only implied that it happened during One Day Left, and only confirmed by the dream version of Aubrey that appears right after Memory Lane. Even BLUEGIRL only has like a 50% chance of appearing.

What I believe is trying to be said here is that Sunny wanted to talk to someone about what he went through at the lake, and felt that he couldn’t do that with Aubrey. I don’t think Aubrey ever would have dropped a blunt “Don’t talk to me”, especially to Sunny before the timeskip, but the conclusion is the same. I think the emphasis on this being “BLUEGIRL” is important, because Sunny’s mind uses the color blue to represent sadness. I think that Aubrey would already have been going through a lot, and Sunny would have felt uncomfortable putting any more on her. Or perhaps, he did try to talk to her about it, and the conversation just didn’t lead anywhere.

In addition, on a more meta level, after the intro of the Beach Memory during Memory Lane, you actually can’t talk to Aubrey, as she is too busy fighting with Kel.

There are many reasons that Aubrey could have been feeling sad in August of the photo album. It’s likely that her parents’ marriage was already falling apart at this point. Her dad is still around by the time the recital comes around, but we also know that the reason she was going to have to wait to dye her hair pink was because of her dad being strict about that kind of thing. The picture of her and Kim that both have next to their beds shows that it likely wasn’t long after the incident that she went through with this, considering she still looks quite young.

However, whether Aubrey was going through a lot at the time, or Sunny just didn’t feel comfortable talking about something like this with his crush, we don’t need BLUEGIRL to tell us who Sunny didn’t open up to about the incident. Aubrey, Kel, and Hero don’t seem to know that the reason that Sunny fell into the lake was due to a spider, with Hero saying:

“Kel and I used to do tricks jumping off that statue, but when we asked Sunny to try it... he froze up and fell into the lake.”

And then, when you walk into Hero and Kel’s bedroom and find the spider, no one seems to find it weird that Sunny isn’t also freezing up at the sight of it. No one ever questions him for jumping in after Basil either, nor acknowledge any fear of drowning/inability to swim post-incident. We also have the present day swing set conversation in which Aubrey says this:

“Sometimes I think I was the one that should have been there for you.”

This is actually the first indication that Sunny ever listened to Aubrey in the same way he did for Basil, and it makes it clear that this interaction was one-sided.

So who did Sunny talk to about what happened? That brings us to the next room in Black Space...

Among the appearances of HS Basil, this one is unique. It is the first Black Space area that is optional, so many players never even see it. More importantly, the memory that HS Basil invokes in this area is one that the man himself seemingly was not involved with. He says:

“I remember a while back... You told me that a big spider fell on your shoulder just as you were about to dive into the lake at our secret hangout spot!”

Now Basil is actually the only person that is not confirmed to be present during the Lake Incident. It is completely possible that he wasn’t even there, considering he can’t swim. But considering the group did everything together, and Mari and Aubrey were seemingly not swimming at the time, I find it likely that he was there.

HS Basil talking about this does not necessarily mean that a conversation actually happened, as Sunny is definitely an unreliable narrator, especially within his own mind. However, Basil doesn’t just reference the incident, he references Sunny telling him about the incident. The previous HS Basil referenced the beach trip, which did actually happen, so I feel comfortable in saying that this HS Basil is referencing an actual memory that Sunny has of opening up to Basil about the Lake Incident.

In fact, even the Basil follow-ups during Boss Rush imply that they both listened to each other. While they are initiated by Basil, I would argue that this is only due to Omori already having his own set of follow-ups. The description for VENT isn’t “BASIL vents his anger to OMORI!”, it’s “BASIL and OMORI vent their anger!”. This is carried over to the other two follow-ups, it’s something that they’re both doing. COMFORT is them comforting each other, not Omori comforting Basil, and MULL is them mulling over their sad thoughts together.

I personally think this is an important thing to note when discussing Basil and Sunny’s relationship. The game makes a big deal about how Sunny would always listen to Basil’s worries, fears, hopes, and dreams, and also tells us that Sunny did the same for Aubrey, but this is the first indication that that relationship went both ways for either of them. In fact, I’d hazard to say that this probably was the first time Sunny would’ve opened up like this to Basil. Aside from the group picnic vision in Faraway, the only Faraway visions that feature Sunny and another character are Sunny and Aubrey on the swings, and Basil and Sunny on the dock overlooking the lake.

Even before researching this, I’ve always felt that the Lake Incident is a really underrated event that helps explain Basil’s mindset regarding Sunny, especially the day of the recital. After all, a few months before Sunny ever pushed Mari down the stairs, Sunny almost died in a manner that Basil couldn’t protect him from, due to his inability to swim. Sunny then opens up about his frankly extreme fears of heights, spiders, and drowning that came from the event, and possibly about how he didn’t even try to save himself due to believing himself to be too weak, and Basil’s protective view of Sunny, especially when colored by the trauma of watching Mari die, becomes a lot more understandable.

So. Anyway. August/Water. 1:43. I love you.

If it isn’t clear what I’m trying to imply here, I believe the game, through the details of these rooms in Black Space, is trying to tell us that in August, following almost drowning at the lake and struggling to find someone to talk about it with, Sunny’s relationship and view of Basil began to change. But is there any other evidence of this?

Taking a look at the photo album, there are a couple of choice excerpts that stand out regarding Basil and Sunny.

This picture is from 3/9, but I wanted to point out that Sunny and Aubrey are sitting at the table that is later noted for being the table that Sunny and Basil always sit at in the version of Sunny’s house before memory lane, which is implied to be from after the treehouse was finished. Aubrey’s looking at Kel, instead, who has pulled up his own chair. This is also the same weekend that Basil showed Sunny the book that he was reading.

On 8/16, Sunny is shown to have started reading the book that Basil recommended to him five months prior. What could have possessed him to do that now, with the recital two months away and school about to start, rather than at the start of the summer, or back in March when Basil first showed it to him?

Then, on 9/6, we get the Treehouse Memory during Memory Lane, along with those pictures. There are quite a few details that I would like to draw your attention to:

1. During the Rainy Day Memory in April, Basil calls out Sunny’s crush on Aubrey due to Sunny specifically always asking to look at his photos of Aubrey. The Treehouse Memory shows that by September, Sunny was asking to look at his pictures that include everyone except Aubrey.

2. Basil is wearing a flower crown, despite saying in April that “just a flower is okay.” We know that HS Basil is always wearing a flower crown, telling us that either Sunny really likes it when Basil wears a full flower crown, or that Basil would like to wear a full flower crown, but is too embarrassed to do so, so Sunny allows him to do so in his dreams. Either way, Basil wearing a full flower crown five months after saying that they were too much for him definitely parallels Sunny deciding to read the book five months after Basil’s recommendation.

(edit: Something that I noticed after originally writing this is that despite giving up on learning how to make flower crowns when the group did it as a group, one of the group picnics in headspace, at the playground, being the group making flower crowns implies that Sunny did go back at some point to learn how to make them. Considering that Basil didn’t seem interested in wearing a flower crown in the real world, it is completely possible that the flower crown that he’s wearing in this memory is from Sunny going back and learning, but this is definitely something that is up to your own interpretation.)

3. Sunny is playing cards with the group, but Basil doesn’t seem to see him as an opponent in his photo album entry. I don’t think this actually implies anything, I just think it’s funny, since Basil probably discounted Sunny due to him blatantly looking at everyone’s hands.

4. This is the only memory in Memory Lane in which the player has control of Sunny that does not include a reference to Sunny’s crush on Aubrey. You of course have the Rainy Day memory, where Basil calls out Sunny’s crush on Aubrey, but you also have Basil referring to Aubrey as cute in the Beach memory along with the implied moment on the way home, and then you once again have Sunny calling a sleeping Aubrey cute in the picnic memory.

Finally, on 9/9, Basil writes that Mari has been away from home until late due to taking cram classes to prepare for college. Chiefly, this entry also tells us that Sunny has been choosing to hang out with Basil more in the absence of Mari, which seems to have been going on for awhile, due to the phrasing that Basil uses. We even see this in the fact that the next (and last) day in the photo album is once again just Basil, Mari, and Sunny, along with Basil being the only one present on the day of the Incident, despite the fact that everyone is busy getting ready and even Sunny’s parents are seemingly not home.

Now I’m not saying you have to buy into all of this, and I’m definitely not saying that Sunny fully understands his feelings for Basil, if any exist in the first place. The setting of the game being a small religious community in the late 90′s United States would definitely not be conducive to that kind of interpretation. But I do think a lot of this information is worth considering. At the very least, there is evidence that Sunny opened up about the incident to Basil and not the others, which I think makes the fact that years later, Sunny dives in after Basil whether he wants to or not all the sweeter.

(edit: took out a lot of irrelevant stuff from the conclusion that I felt didn’t need to be there.)

If you’ve taken the time to read this post, thanks! I don’t see myself posting all that much, to be honest, I just really wanted to get this analysis out there. I’d like to leave off this post with a detail from another Black Space Area that didn’t quite fit in the main analysis.

“Back then... I wanted to save what was left. But even after everything... you left me, Sunny... 

I waited so long for you to come back.

Even seeing you now... It’s hard to think straight. I can feel my heart hurting and I want to cover my face and hide.

There are so many things I want to say to you... but the words won’t come out.

I just... I waited so long for you to come back, Sunny... but... you never did.”

- Stranger, Fishbowl Area

BGM: 143 - White Pillars

[butterflieswhisper]

hhelp wait this is so funny. didnt you follow me forever ago after a scott themed october song analysis . sorry if you dont remember that and this ask doesnt make sense but this is still funny to me

hi!!!! yeah. it was the cherri crane lives art i think and also where you made your flower husbands tag! I have never really interacted with fh outside of you (and like, seeing pretty fanart) but i am nonetheless deeply invested in your interpretation specifically!!! I honestly haven't watched jimmy outside of rats and the beginning of empires2 either i genuinely have no clue what they get up to you just seem to have a lot of fun with it

[quirkle2]

oh nooo that's quite a bummer :( but i'm very glad that i helped brightening up your day :") tbh your writing brightens up my day too (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

AND WAIT I'VE BEEN ACTUALLY QUITE THINKING ABOUT WHETHER ZOMBIE MOB HAS FOUGHT OFF A ZOMBIE WHEN I ASKED IF HE HAS EVER BITTEN SOMEONE and since you brought it up, well, would be okay to ask about the details of how it went 👁️👁️ (also him fighting off a fellow zombie to protect tome got me sobbing)

- 🪻

aww im glad my silly little words brighten ur day!! ur so sweet :]

and yes, it went horribly <3! tome prolly wasn't paying attention as closely as she should've been and got herself surrounded by a crowd. to be clear, that's not Always dangerous, since zombies arent like,, after ur brains in this constantly. but these zombies did look quite hungry, and human or not, she looked like a good meal,,

she had wandered off a bit from mob n ritsu, but mob heard the commotion first. tome has a big fucking baseball bat in this au that she likes to swing around, but a baseball bat can only get u so far in terms of self defense. she thins the horde but there's simply too many of them

mob lets exactly One zombie grab her and yank her toward them before he goes ballistic

watching zombies fight is a lot closer to watching wild animals fight than anything else, and it gets quite horrid sometimes. since their bites aren't rly "dangerous" to each other beyond the typical Oh No a Chunk of Flesh is Gone (not even painful for them, since their nerves r.. less than functional), the fight is a lot more close up and gruesome than a fight against a zombie and a human would be. humans usually back away from zombies immediately and try not to touch them at all in fear of getting bitten; zombies don't need to care abt that

most of the horde realizes that this meal isn't going to be easy and they wander off, but a few more hungry, more desperate ones try to rip into mob's throat at the first sign of defiance. it's not exactly a fair fight; it's like 1 against 4, so he's sorta bound to lose

thankfully ritsu shows up and shoots two of them down (he's Terrified of shooting mob by accident, but either way he'll probably die, so) and tome gets the last one with a good swing to the head. ritsu rushes to mob and is horrified by the amount of blood dripping from his neck and his arm; tome is equally as shocked, but she's mostly thinking, "ive Never seen a zombie defend a human before"

mob's neck is thankfully mostly just scraped up and clawed, but there Is some gruesome punctures where canines sank in and tugged. it's a lot worse along his arm that's bitten and gouged beyond belief. he loses a lot of blood here, but the whole nerves-no-longer-work thing is a blessing in disguise atm; he'd be in a lot of pain otherwise. while ritsu and tome are patching him up w shaky hands he simply glares beyond their shoulders like he thinks he's still in danger, even when they tighten the bandages. it's like he barely notices what they’re doing

his strangely alert behavior makes them think abt the possibility that maybe mob Knows he could've easily been shredded apart there, and he's a little scared and worked up abt it. the only reason he managed to fight as long as he did without dying is prolly bc the other zombies weren't as well-fed as mob—they were kinda weak and shaky from days of no food, but mob has humans taking care of him and keeping him fed 24/7

they're all shaken up by it pretty good.. tome is still reeling from the fact that mob defended her so valiantly, and ritsu is quietly horrified by the idea of another zombie killing mob instead of a human. he doesn't know which is worse

[serendipitous-mage]

GRIMACE SHAKE RECIPE

i am SICK and TIRED of all these recipes online that aren't even trying, like yes of Course it will be *tasty* but raspberries blueberries and vanilla ice cream will Not taste like The Grimace Shake it will taste like a Froot Smoothie

when i tried the mcdicks version, the two flavors that immediately stood out insanely clearly to me were:

creamsicle ... and berry cap'n crunch

i was 94% sure i was riight, but didn't have a chance to test that theory ... until today >:3

that's all for my yappin here's that recipe! ingredients:

berry cap'n crunch cereal (we didn't have the 'oops all berries' it had regular mixed in, i just picked out the berry ones). blend or crush as finely as you can!

orange creamsicles

additional vanilla ice cream

milk (as needed to thin mixture)

optional black raspberry ice cream (for additional fruitiness if desired, purple colour also!)

optional whipped cream (topping)

i've only tried this once and it tasted too strongly of the cereal so i used too much of that, and i don't have exact measurements(sorry, if i try again and get closer i'll keep track and update!), but this go i did the following:

put approx 1 cup of berry crunch in blender and mix to break apart

add 3 creamsicles (minus sticks), and milk as needed, blend together

optional taste test

add 2 large scoops of ice cream, vanilla or black raspberry, depending what you have and/or how fruity the current mixture tastes, blend (add more milk if needed)

pour into cups and add whipped cream on top :3

it made about~ two good sized cupfuls, we split it in three unevenly so i'm not 100% sure lol. if you let the ice cream/creamsicles melt enough to be mixable by hand and went to absolute town on the cereal you could probably make this without a blender!

anyway go be free summon grimace and ik they dont have these anymore but dont give those clowns any money