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mononijikayu · 2 months

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tears are getting sober – gojo satoru

With a heavy heart, Gojo Satoru began to speak, his words a balm for the wounds that still lingered within him. He told you about his life over the past decade, the trials and tribulations he had faced, and the moments of joy that had flickered amidst the darkness. He talks as though you were still here. As though you were still alive. He teases one moment and he laughs about a memory the next. You were never dead to him. Not for one second in these past ten years did he get used to talking about you in the past tense. He thinks his brain can’t ever process the thought. He could never understand it. And he has come to accept it, after all this time. Nothing about it would ever come to be the past. You will always be his present. You will always be his future. He did not doubt that one second.

GENRE: Hidden Inventory Arc - JJK 0, 2006/2007 - 2017;

WARNING/s: Angst, One Sided Romance, Pining, Grief, Mourning, Death, Depiction of Trauma, Depiction of Death, Depiction of Grief, Depiction of Blood, Depiction of Corpses, Depiction of Injury, Reminiscing;

masterlist

listen: tears are getting sober by victoria

note: i've been thinking about this for the past few days and i wrote this while on my online law class. this is the satoru pov of ghost of you!!! enjoy it!!! i hope you have a good day, i love you all!!!

HE THINKS LOVING SOMEONE IS A TOUGH JOB. As Satoru approached his twenty-eighth year, with the threshold of twenty-nine looming ever closer, he found himself grappling with the complexities of love and human connection. It wasn't that he didn't love others—of course he did. He was a human being, after all, with the same innate desires and needs as anyone else. Love was not just a luxury for him; it was a necessity, an essential part of his existence.

Yet, despite this fundamental longing for love and connection, Satoru couldn't shake the feeling of distance that seemed to separate him from those around him. Even in the company of close friends like Shoko and Yaga-sensei, he couldn't escape the sense of being an outsider, a solitary figure navigating a world that had grown increasingly unfamiliar.

He remembered a time when things had been different, when he had felt more human, more connected to those around him. There had been moments of genuine intimacy and camaraderie, moments when he had been able to express himself freely and without reservation. But as the years passed and the weight of responsibility bore down upon him, those moments grew fewer and farther between, slipping through his fingers like grains of sand.

Now, on the cusp of another year, Satoru couldn't help but wonder if he would ever find his way back to that sense of connection, that feeling of being truly human. It was a longing that gnawed at him, a yearning for something he feared he might never recapture. And yet, deep down, he held onto the hope that someday, somehow, he would once again find himself among those who understood him, who accepted him for who he truly was.

Because during that time, he had a choice.

Because at the time, he can see Suguru smile.

Because at the time, you were still smiling alive.

There was never a moment when Satoru didn't love you. It was an all-encompassing feeling that seemed to permeate every facet of his being, impossible to ignore or suppress. Even if he had tried, he knew deep down that his love for you would persist, unwavering and unyielding. It was the kind of love that consumed him entirely, the kind that defied reason and logic.

As he reflected on his feelings, Satoru couldn't help but marvel at the power of young love. It was a force unlike any other, capable of transforming even the most mundane moments into something extraordinary. Even now, as he stood on the precipice of adulthood, his thoughts inevitably drifted back to you, the center of his universe.

He vividly remembered the day he first laid eyes on you, a moment etched into his memory with startling clarity. It was a day like any other, until it wasn't. Everything changed the instant you walked into his life, your presence casting a vibrant spectrum of colors upon his once monochrome world.

The sight of you, adorned in your dark blue uniform with that bright yellow hoodie, was like a revelation to him. Suddenly, the world seemed to burst into bloom, vibrant and full of life. The delicate petals of chrysanthemums mirrored the rosy hue of your cheeks, while the golden rays of the sun felt warmer when filtered through your radiant smile.

In that moment, the confines of his existence melted away, replaced by a sense of boundless possibility and wonder. The four corners of the room no longer felt suffocating; instead, they expanded to accommodate the enormity of his newfound emotions.

From that day forward, you became his guiding light, his source of inspiration and joy. Every smile, every wave, every word exchanged between you was a testament to the profound connection you both shared. And as Satoru gazed upon you, he couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the color you had brought into his life, forever altering the course of his destiny.

The mission briefing room was abuzz with excitement as Satoru, Suguru, Shoko, and you gathered around the table, eagerly awaiting your first assignment as a team. Yaga-sensei had to work hard to stop the gossiping from all of you. The atmosphere crackled with anticipation, each of you eager to prove yourselves in the field. Much so, he and Suguru—who realized that they were polar opposites of the other, began to think of each other as the only rivals worth having. Satoru thinks he can one up the guy with the bangs. He could do it properly too.

As the mission details were laid out before you, Satoru couldn't help but steal glances in your direction, his heart racing with a mixture of nerves and excitement. You and Shoko were conversing about how best to provide support and defense while Suguru busied himself with asking Yaga–sensei about the best ways to conduct offense campaigns.

He had been looking forward to this moment ever since he had learned that you would be joining their team, and now that it was finally here, he found himself feeling more determined than ever to make a good impression.

With the mission parameters set, the four of you set out into the night, the cool breeze of autumn stirring the leaves as you made your way through the city streets. The mission itself went off without a hitch, each of you working together seamlessly to accomplish your objectives.

You and Suguru both gained new cursed creatures, which made you quite happy. You like having good friends in these creatures, you said. Somehow it reminded you of Pokemon. He didn’t say anything, he liked Digimon too. But he supposed, if you ask him one day—he’d watch Pokemon for you.

As you made your way back to Jujutsu High, all of you were too exhausted to come discuss any dinner plans. Shoko suggested you guys stop by a convenient store. This is the one of few times Satoru’s ever been to a convenient store.

Before, he had been far more confused than anything else, no one would expect the head of the Gojo Clan to know about the outer world beyond what he’s been told. But now that he has experienced it, he found his way around it. It felt like a comfort, he supposed, that he’s able to do this at all.

Satoru found himself beside you, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. Shoko was by the counter, pushing a fake ID with a grin on her face. Suguru was just behind her, his face unimpressed about her rule breaking in order to buy some cigarettes.

"Hey," Satoru said, his voice soft as he fell into step beside you. "Great job back there. You really held your own out there."

You returned his smile, feeling a sense of pride swell within you at his words. "Thanks, Gojo–kun," you replied, your voice warm with gratitude. "I couldn't have done it without your guidance."

Satoru's heart skipped a beat at your words, a rush of warmth flooding through him at the sight of your smile. “You know you don’t have to call me so formally. Aren’t we friends?”

You look up to him again, away from the sandwich section. You blink at him. “Hm?”

“You call Geto and Ieiri by their first names.”

“And?”

“Why not me?”

You blink again, and then you laugh at him. He could feel more warmth emit through his body. Your laughter was such a beautiful sound. Far more gorgeous than the temple bells he heard in all his life. You were so beautiful.

“You could just ask me, you know.” You replied to him, smiling at him. “If that’s what you like, Gojo–kun–”

“Satoru,”

“Satoru–kun,” You corrected yourself, eyeing his happy gaze. “Then you should call me by my name too, you know?”

His lips slowly quivered into a smile, his dark peering shades lowering to reveal his eyes. “You have yourself a deal!”

As you browse the aisles together, you both share your opinions about different types of food. You liked a lot of savory dishes, Satoru loved really sweet things — which you had in common, in a sense. But well, you preferred dark chocolate to his sweet milk choco. You liked matcha and coffee more than you liked choco and strawberry milk.

But you both expressed a good love for mochi ice cream. You told Satoru that you’ve had it since you were a kid and you’ve never looked back since. Satoru’s continually eaten it since he discovered it a couple of months ago.

You got everything you wanted by then, Satoru insisting he should pay for your basket even though you were arguing with him that you had enough money to cover your expenses. But that had become a bad idea because then Shoko had goaded him with ‘What about us, Satoru?’ followed by Suguru’s lips quivering in a Cheshire grin in the back. Satoru did not care. He thinks he could pay for all your meals for the rest of his life and he would be happy — because you pouted at him that way. And it was adorable.

Satoru couldn't help but feel a sense of nervous excitement building within him. As you all walked towards the train station, he started reaching for his own plastic bag as he kept up to your pace. He reached out to grab a box, offering it to you with a small smile. You looked at him as you both stopped for a moment, Shoko and Suguru lost in their conversation as they walked in front of you both.

"I thought you might like these," He said, his voice tinged with a hint of uncertainty. “I didn’t know which brand you liked best. But this is my favorite. Consider it a reward for a job well done."

Your orbs shone like stars. “You didn’t have to, Satoru–kun.”

“I bought this for you.” He tells her, tenderly. “You can enjoy it.”

You accepted the box slowly with a grateful smile, your eyes meeting him as you thanked him. In that moment, Satoru felt his heart swell with affection, the warmth of your smile sending a rush of happiness coursing through him. You opened the box and looked at him and grinned. You pull out one mochi container and give it to him. It was his turn to blink.

“It’s not fun to eat it alone.” You grinned wider, taking one and putting the box inside your plastic bag. You remove it from the container and start munching into the mochi. You looked at him encouragingly. “Go on, Satoru–kun!”

As the two of you made your way back to Jujutsu High, the taste of victory and the sweetness of mochi ice cream lingering on your lips, Satoru couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement for the future. And as he stole glances in your direction, he knew that this was only the beginning of something truly special.

Satoru sat alone in his room, a single mochi resting delicately between his fingers as he stared off into the distance. The room was quiet, save for the soft rustling of leaves outside his window and the rhythmic ticking of the clock on his desk. But in the silence, his thoughts were consumed by one thing and one thing only—you.

As he brought the mochi to his lips, his mind wandered to memories of you, your laughter echoing in his ears like a sweet melody. He remembered the way your eyes would light up with joy whenever you indulged in your favorite treat, the happiness radiating from you like a beacon of light in his life.

But now, as he savored the familiar taste of the mochi, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing. The once sweet flavor seemed to have lost its luster, the simple pleasure of indulging in his favorite snack now tinged with a bitter aftertaste.

With a sigh, Satoru set the mochi aside, his appetite suddenly vanished as he found himself consumed by thoughts of you. He missed the warmth of your smile, the sound of your laughter, the way you would brighten up his darkest days with just a simple gesture or word.

Closing his eyes, Satoru allowed himself to bask in the memories of your time together, his heart heavy with longing. He missed you more than words could express, and in that moment, he realized just how much he craved your presence in his life.

As the minutes ticked by, Satoru remained lost in thought, his mind drifting back to the memories of you. And as he sat alone in his room, the taste of the mochi still lingering on his lips, he couldn't help but feel a sense of emptiness gnawing at his heart—a longing for the sweetness of your presence that he feared he may never taste again.

As Satoru reflected on the passage of time, he couldn't help but feel a pang of nostalgia for the days gone by. It had been a decade since you left, yet in his heart, it felt as though it were just yesterday. Time may have marched on, but for him, it would always be 2007—a year etched into his memory like a precious gem.

In his mind's eye, he could still see you as clearly as if you were standing before him, your laughter echoing in his ears and your smile lighting up his world. Despite the years that had passed, he knew that a part of him would always be with you, forever frozen in that moment in time.

And he wasn't alone in his longing. Suguru, too, harbored a deep affection for you, his heartache mirroring Satoru's own. They had both loved you fiercely, with a passion that transcended time and distance. And even now, a decade later, the memories of you still lingered, a bittersweet reminder of what once was and what could have been.

As Satoru gazed out at the world beyond, he couldn't help but wonder if you ever thought of them, if you ever longed for the warmth of their embrace as much as they longed for yours. In his heart, he knew that some bonds were unbreakable, woven together by the threads of love and longing that refused to be severed by the passage of time.

And so, as the years stretched out before him, Satoru held onto the memories of you, cherishing them like precious treasures. For in his heart, he knew that no matter where life took him, a part of him would always belong to you, just as a part of you would always belong to him.

And just as Suguru cursed you back to life,

You left and cursed Satoru back to life too.

He would never love anyone like he loved you.

He lived, just as Suguru does, to remember you.

Because that’s all he could ever truly do.

HE WAS SURE YOU WERE THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE. As Satoru wrestled with his emotions, a tumultuous storm raged within him, tearing at the seams of his heart with every passing moment. He knew better than to say anything to you, for he believed that you deserved nothing but boundless happiness. Yet, a part of him couldn't help but wonder if you would ever find true happiness with him, knowing the burden of his past and the shadows that loomed over his future.

In his eyes, you were a free spirit, a radiant gem in a world filled with darkness and uncertainty. He couldn't bear the thought of seeing you trapped in the confines of his world, shackled by the political machinations of the clans and the dangers that lurked at every corner. Even if you were to reciprocate his feelings, he feared that you would be sacrificing too much of yourself in the process.

The specter of his father's untimely demise and his mother's constant struggles loomed large in Satoru's mind, a grim reminder of the dangers that surrounded him. He knew that he could protect you, that he was the strongest among them. But he couldn't shake the feeling that you deserved so much more—a life free from the shadows that haunted his own existence.

And so, Satoru resigned himself to loving you from afar, content to cherish you as a friend and companion. He found solace in the knowledge that he could still keep you in his life, even if it meant keeping his own feelings hidden deep within his heart. For him, your happiness was paramount, and if loving you from a distance was the price he had to pay, then so be it.

When you confided in him about your feelings for Suguru, Satoru felt no malice or jealousy in his heart. Instead, he embraced your words with a sense of understanding and acceptance, knowing that your happiness was all that truly mattered. And as he watched you walk away, his heart heavy with unspoken longing, he couldn't help but silently wish for your happiness, even if it meant sacrificing his own.

You four were sent on a mission again — not too much of a hassle, considering it was just a minor deity and no one was injured, which Shoko seemed pleased about. She and Suguru were getting the camp site’s benches ready, so you all could eat dinner together. It was rare to be in such places, so you all decided that this was an opportune moment to eat some of the extra packed meals you brought along.

The sun hung low in the sky, casting a golden hue over the tranquil waters of the lake as you and Satoru sat together on the grassy bank, the gentle breeze ruffling your hair. It was a peaceful afternoon, the perfect setting for a heart-to-heart conversation.

As you gazed out at the shimmering water, a sense of nervousness fluttered in your chest, your thoughts consumed by the confession you had been holding onto for so long. Taking a deep breath, you turned to Satoru, your heart pounding in your chest.

"Satoru, there's something I need to tell you," you began, your voice hesitant as you searched for the right words. "I... I think I've fallen in love with Suguru."

Satoru's expression softened at your words, his eyes reflecting a mixture of surprise and understanding. He had suspected as much, yet hearing you say it out loud still came as a shock. But despite the pang of heartache that echoed in his chest, he knew that your happiness was paramount.

"Really?" Satoru replied, his voice gentle as he reached out to place a comforting hand on your shoulder. "That's wonderful news, you know? Suguru is a great guy, and I can see why you've fallen for him."

Your heart swelled with gratitude at Satoru's supportive words, a sense of relief washing over you as you realized that you had made the right decision in confiding in him. His encouragement gave you the strength you needed to finally take the next step in your journey.

"Yeah, he really is," you replied, a smile spreading across your face as you felt a weight lift off your shoulders. "I've been thinking about telling him how I feel, and I think today might be the day."

Satoru nodded in agreement, his eyes filled with genuine warmth as he squeezed your shoulder gently. "You should go for it," he encouraged, his voice filled with sincerity. "Life's too short to hold back your feelings. And who knows? Maybe Suguru feels the same way about you."

With Satoru's words of encouragement ringing in your ears, you felt a renewed sense of determination wash over you. Taking a deep breath, you stood up from the grassy bank, ready to seize the moment and finally confess your feelings to Suguru.

"Thanks, Satoru," you said, turning to face him with a grateful smile. "I couldn't have done this without you."

As you walked away, the weight of your confession lingered in the air, casting a shadow over Satoru's heart. He watched you go with a bittersweet smile, his own feelings swirling beneath the surface like a tempestuous sea. Every step you took towards Suguru felt like a dagger through his heart, each moment a painful reminder of what could have been.

But despite the ache in his chest, Satoru knew that he had to push his own feelings aside for the sake of your happiness. He had always been there for you, offering unwavering support and encouragement whenever you needed it. And now, as you embarked on this new chapter of your life, he couldn't bear to let his own pain stand in the way.

So he plastered on a smile, masking the turmoil within as he watched you disappear from view. Deep down, he longed to hold you back, to tell you how he truly felt. But he knew that now wasn't the time—not when your heart was set on someone else.

Instead, Satoru forced himself to focus on the positives, finding solace in the knowledge that you were pursuing your own happiness. He reminded himself that he had played a part in helping you find the courage to confess your feelings to Suguru, and for that, he felt a sense of pride.

But as he turned away from the lake, the ache in his heart remained, a constant reminder of the love he had kept hidden for so long. And though he knew that he would always cherish the memories of your time together, he couldn't help but wonder what could have been if he had been brave enough to confess his own feelings to you.

‘No,’ He thought to himself as he took a deep breath. ‘It’s better this way. There’s no one I trust more than him. Suguru would be good. It’s better this way.’

As Satoru grappled with his inner turmoil, he often sought solace in the mantra that he had no regrets. Yet, as he reflected on the choices he had made, a nagging sense of remorse crept into his heart. He couldn't shake the feeling that he should have told you the truth, should have confessed his feelings before it was too late.

In hindsight, he couldn't help but wonder how things might have been different if he had been brave enough to lay bare his heart to you. Perhaps you would still be alive, by his side, sharing in the joys and sorrows of life together. But now, as he looked back on the past, he knew that dwelling on such thoughts was futile.

It was too late for "what ifs" and regrets now. The past was set in stone, immutable and unchangeable. All he could do was carry the weight of his unspoken feelings and forge ahead, determined to honor your memory in the best way he knew how.

And so, despite the ache in his heart and the burden of his silent regrets, Satoru resolved to live each day to the fullest, cherishing the memories of your time together and carrying your spirit with him wherever he went. For in the end, he knew that dwelling on the past would only serve to hold him back from embracing the future that lay ahead.

You were too far for him to reach and too far for him to love.

You were like that when you were alive and now even in death.

But he thinks he will never love anyone else as he had loved you.

In this life and in the next and the other one after that, it’s only you.

In that next life, he hopes that he could finally tell you everything.

HE MEMORIZED EVERY MOMENT HE HAD WITH YOU. As Satoru's mind replayed the harrowing scene of finding you that fateful day, the vivid imagery seared into his memory with agonizing clarity. Your blood, a stark contrast against the dark cavern walls, painted a gruesome picture of the tragedy that had unfolded. It coated the steep stairs, pooling around your lifeless form, a haunting testament to the violence that had taken place.

As Satoru stood frozen amidst the horror of the scene before him, the weight of the moment bore down upon him like a suffocating blanket, threatening to crush him beneath its unbearable heaviness. The sight and smell of your blood, mingled with Riko's, assaulted his senses, leaving him reeling with a nauseating mixture of shock and despair.

Your blood, brighter than any ruby stone he had ever seen, stained the ground beneath him, a vivid reminder of the tragedy that had unfolded in the depths of the cavern. It coated his shoes, a tangible testament to the violence that had torn through your lives with merciless force.

But amidst the horror, there was a poignant sense of sacrifice and bravery that lingered in the air. You clung to Riko with every last bit of strength and warmth you possessed, a selfless act of protection that spoke volumes of your innate goodness. Satoru had always known you to be a good person, perhaps too good for the cruel and unforgiving world of Jujutsu sorcery. He had feared for your safety, knowing that your tender heart could easily become a target in a world devoid of mercy.

The realization that you had died protecting another, that you had given your life to save someone else, sent a shiver down Satoru's spine. Died. Lived. The words echoed in his mind, their meaning lost in the unfathomable depths of grief and disbelief. They were both past tense, both irrevocably done, leaving him grappling with the unbearable finality of your loss.

In that moment, Satoru felt the overwhelming urge to scream, to lash out against the cruel injustice of it all. But as he stood frozen in place, his body trembling with suppressed emotion, he knew that there was nothing he could do to change what had happened. All he could do was bear witness to the devastating aftermath of your sacrifice, haunted by the knowledge that he had lost you forever.

For Satoru, who had always known himself to be the honored one, a god among men, the scene before him was a brutal awakening. Despite his divinity, he stood immobilized, his mind unable to process the enormity of the loss before him. You lay cold and lifeless, your once bright eyes now devoid of the light that had captivated him so.

As he knelt beside you, his heart heavy with grief, Satoru felt the weight of his own mortality pressing down upon him. In that moment, he shed the facade of godhood, allowing himself to embrace the raw humanity of his emotions. Tears flowed freely from his eyes as he mourned the loss of everything good in his life, stolen from him in the blink of an eye.

And as he grieved over your lifeless form, Satoru realized the bitter truth that even his godlike powers were powerless to bring you back from the brink of death. In that moment of profound sorrow, he was just a man, left to mourn the loss of the one he had loved so dearly, forever haunted by the knowledge that he could never bring you back to life.

As the days passed and the reality of your absence settled in, Satoru couldn't help but notice the profound impact your death had on Suguru. It was as if a darkness had descended upon his once bright and vibrant friend, twisting him into something unrecognizable. Satoru watched in horror as Suguru's grief morphed into madness, consuming him with a relentless fury that knew no bounds.

It was Suguru who had led the charge to burn the village to the ground, a devastating act of vengeance fueled by the pain of losing you. And as the flames engulfed the once peaceful streets, Satoru felt a sense of helplessness wash over him, knowing that there was nothing he could do to stop the chaos and destruction that Suguru had unleashed.

But perhaps the most haunting moment came when Suguru turned to him, eyes burning with a fierce intensity, and posed a question that would haunt Satoru for years to come. "Are you the strongest because you're Gojo Satoru?" Suguru's voice was like a whisper in the darkness, his words laden with a weight that Satoru could hardly bear. "Or are you Gojo Satoru because you're the strongest?"

It was a question that cut to the core of his identity, forcing Satoru to confront the very essence of who he was. And as he grappled with the weight of Suguru's words, a sense of panic began to claw its way up from the depths of his soul.

In the solitude of his bedroom, Satoru was overcome by a wave of overwhelming emotion, his chest tightening with each labored breath as tears streamed down his face. He cried out for you, his voice choked with anguish and longing, as he reached out for the comfort that could never be found.

In that moment of profound despair, Satoru realized just how deeply he had loved you, and how your absence had left a void in his heart that could never be filled. And as he lay there, trembling and broken, he knew that he would spend the rest of his days haunted by the memory of your loss, forever yearning for the one he could never have again.

The weight of his grief was like an anchor, dragging Satoru down into the depths of despair. With each passing day, the pain of your absence grew more unbearable, a constant reminder of all that he had lost. The thought of leaving to find you crossed his mind more than once, a desperate attempt to escape the suffocating grip of his sorrow. But every time he entertained the idea, he was met with the haunting memory of your eyes, filled with judgment, disapproval, and above all, hurt.

In those moments, Satoru realized that he could never bear to be the cause of your pain. The mere thought of seeing the disappointment in your gaze was enough to send a shiver down his spine, a stark reminder of the love and compassion that had always flowed between you. He couldn't bear to imagine you grieving for him, carrying the burden of his loss on your shoulders.

No, Satoru knew that he couldn't allow himself to wallow in self-pity and despair, not when your memory was still so fresh in his mind. He owed it to you to honor your legacy, to live his life in a way that would make you proud. Despite the overwhelming grief that threatened to consume him, he resolved to carry on, to strive for nothing less than your happiness.

For in the end, that was all that truly mattered to him—to see you smiling, to hear your laughter, to know that you were safe and content. And so, with renewed determination, Satoru vowed to carry your memory with him always, a guiding light in the darkness of his grief.

And so as those tears dried each and every day.

Your picture was tucked away in his inner pockets.

He thinks he had to live on, so that you could live on.

He thinks that he stays alive for you, no matter what.

SATORU THINKS HE REMEMBERS YOU LIKE THIS. On that rare day off, when the usual hustle and bustle of Jujutsu missions seemed to fade into the background, you and Satoru found yourselves with an unexpected opportunity to spend time together. With Suguru and Shoko occupied elsewhere and Haibara and Nanami tied up with their own commitments, it was just the two of you left to fend for yourselves.

As you pleaded with Satoru to accompany you on a day of exploration, he initially feigned reluctance, claiming he had other things to attend to. But your persistence wore down his defenses, and soon enough, he found himself agreeing to join you on your adventure.

Despite his protests, Satoru couldn't deny the excitement that bubbled within him at the prospect of spending the day with you. Your infectious enthusiasm and boundless energy were like magnets, drawing him irresistibly towards you.

Dressed in vibrant pastel hues that seemed to complement your radiant personality, you looked utterly captivating in Satoru's eyes. He couldn't help but feel his heart skip a beat at the sight of you, a rush of warmth flooding his chest as he marveled at your beauty.

As you set out together, exploring the nooks and crannies of the world outside the confines of the Jujutsu world, Satoru found himself unable to tear his gaze away from you. Every laugh, every smile, every twinkle in your eye seemed to etch itself into his memory, imprinting itself upon his heart in indelible ink.

Despite the uncertainty and chaos that often defined their lives as Jujutsu sorcerers, in that moment, everything seemed perfect. It was just the two of them, lost in the magic of the day, reveling in each other's company and the simple joy of being alive. And as Satoru watched you, he couldn't help but feel a profound sense of gratitude for the precious moments they shared together, and the gift of your presence in his life.

As you and Satoru ventured deeper into the botanical garden, the serenity of the surroundings enveloped you like a comforting embrace. Each step you took seemed to lead you further away from the chaos of the world outside, immersing you in a tranquil oasis of greenery and blossoms.

The air was redolent with the delicate fragrance of flowers in full bloom, their perfumed scents mingling together to create a symphony of olfactory delight. Every inhalation fills your lungs with the sweet perfume of roses, lilies, and jasmine, transporting you to a realm of pure sensory bliss.

Sunlight filtered through the lush canopy overhead, casting dappled patterns of light and shadow upon the verdant foliage below. The gentle rustle of leaves in the breeze provided a soothing soundtrack to your leisurely stroll, accompanied by the occasional chirp of a distant bird or the soft hum of buzzing insects.

As you meandered along the winding paths, you couldn't help but feel a sense of awe and wonder at the beauty that surrounded you. Vibrant bursts of color greeted your eyes at every turn, as though nature itself were putting on a dazzling display just for you.

You reached out to touch the velvety petals of a blooming rose, marveling at the delicate intricacy of its design. Satoru watched you with a fond smile, his own eyes alight with appreciation for the natural splendor that surrounded you.

Together, you continued to explore the botanical garden, each moment filled with a sense of peace and tranquility that seemed to wash away the cares of the world. In this enchanted sanctuary, time seemed to stand still, allowing you to savor every precious moment spent in each other's company amidst the beauty of nature.

As you strolled hand in hand, Satoru couldn't help but notice the way your eyes lit up with wonder at the sight of each new flower you encountered. He found himself captivated by the joy reflected in your expression, a stark contrast to the darkness that often clouded his own thoughts.

At one point, you paused in front of a bed of sunflowers, your favorite flowers, and exclaimed in delight at their cheerful appearance. Satoru watched you with a fond smile, taking in the way the golden petals seemed to dance in the gentle breeze, illuminated by the warm rays of the sun.

"What is it about sunflowers that you love so much?" he asked, genuinely curious to hear your thoughts. He admired the way your face lit up as you spoke about the flowers, your passion and enthusiasm shining through with every word.

You turned to him, a soft smile playing on your lips as you explained, "Sunflowers always remind me of hope and resilience. No matter how dark things may seem, they always find a way to turn towards the sun, seeking out its warmth and light. I find that incredibly inspiring."

Satoru listened intently, his heart swelling with warmth at the sincerity of your words. In that moment, surrounded by the beauty of the botanical garden and the company of someone he cherished deeply, he couldn't help but feel a sense of peace wash over him.

As you continued your leisurely stroll through the garden, Satoru found himself feeling grateful for the simple moments of joy that you brought into his life. In your presence, he felt a glimmer of hope and optimism, a reminder that even in the darkest of times, there was still beauty to be found in the world. And for that, he was truly grateful.

In those ten years, not a day had gone by without Gojo Satoru thinking of you, longing for the warmth of your smile and the gentle touch of your hand. Your absence weighed heavily on his soul, a constant reminder of the void that had been left behind when you departed from this world.

As he stood before your grave, surrounded by a sea of sunflowers swaying in the breeze, Satoru felt a wave of bittersweet nostalgia wash over him. The vibrant blooms seemed to echo the radiant spirit you had embodied in life, their golden petals a testament to the joy and beauty you had brought into his world.

With trembling fingers, Satoru traced the letters of your name etched into the stone, each stroke a silent prayer for your peace and happiness in the afterlife. Though he couldn't bring himself to admit it, a part of him still clung to the hope that somehow, someway, you were still out there, watching over him from afar.

But deep down, Satoru knew the truth. You were gone, forever beyond his reach, and no amount of longing or regret could change that fact. And so, with a heavy heart, he bowed his head in silent reverence, offering up a silent vow to honor your memory for as long as he lived.

In that moment, amidst the sunflowers and the gentle rustle of leaves, Gojo Satoru found solace in the quiet beauty of your final resting place. And as he stood there, lost in his memories. Memories that were dried and gone, leaves that had seen autumn over and over. Memories that had gotten him through the coldest whispers of winter and frostbite.

As Satoru knelt before your grave, he couldn't shake the haunting realization that your soul was bound to this earth, tethered to Suguru by an unbreakable bond of love and guilt. He had messaged Suguru, informing him of your final resting place near Gojo Manor, but he knew deep down that Suguru wouldn't visit you. Not out of lack of care, but out of overwhelming guilt and remorse for the role he played in your tragic demise.

Suguru had loved you too much to let you go, and in his desperation to protect you, he had unwittingly sealed your fate. Your body lay here, beneath the soft earth and sunflower blooms, but your soul was intertwined with Suguru's, trapped in a perpetual cycle of longing and regret. He liked to believe that you split your soul, that somehow you gave him a part of you. To feel that he would not truly be alone. But he knew better than that. He was deluding himself. Still, he did not care. He promised to take care of you. And he would. He’d always take care of you, as he had these past ten years. As he would all his life.

As Satoru gazed upon your grave, a sense of profound sadness washed over him, mingling with the guilt and remorse that weighed heavily on his own heart. He had failed to protect you, failed to keep you safe from harm, and now he was left to mourn your loss in silence. No one truly could love you like he and Suguru had. No one knows this pain other than his best friend.

"Hey there," he began softly, his voice barely above a whisper. "It's been a while, hasn't it? Ten years... feels like a lifetime."

He thinks his brain can’t ever process the thought. He could never understand it. And he has come to accept it, after all this time. Nothing about it would ever come to be the past. You will always be his present. You will always be his future. He did not doubt that one second.

"I've been doing my best to honor your memory," he confessed, his voice tinged with regret. "But it's never easy, you know? Sometimes, it feels like I'm just going through the motions, pretending that everything's okay when it's not."

As he spoke, Satoru's hand reached up to his silk bandages, lifting it away to reveal the vibrant blue eyes that had long been hidden from the world. You have loved his eyes at one point. You told him how they remind you of the blue sky in summer. Yet now that you were gone, he couldn't find it in his heart to let the world witness them again.

For a moment, he allowed himself to be vulnerable, to let his guard down and show you the depths of his pain. You were the one person, besides Suguru, that saw every facet of him. Perhaps you will always the the person left in this world, even when you weren't here anymore, that will see such side of him. You were the person he could only ever be so truthful to.

"I miss you," he admitted, his voice thick with emotion. "Every day, in every way, I miss you. And I wish... I wish I could turn back time, change the course of fate, and bring you back to me. But I know that's not possible."

With a heavy sigh, Satoru replaced his blindfold, shielding his eyes once more from the world. But as he rose to his feet and prepared to leave, a sense of peace settled over him. Though you were gone, your memory would live on in his heart forever, a beacon of light in the darkness that threatened to consume him.

"Rest well, my dear," he whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of your headstone. "I'll always be here, watching over you. And I promise... I'll never forget you."

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spooklies · 6 months

Text

# Taste - Yan!Mike Schmidt x F!Reader

♡ ... › Everything about you was perfect. Someday, he hopes you see yourself the way he does.

— Words - 600+

♡ ... › Warning(s) - Mentions of a previous drugging. Slight physical harm. Mike’s a bit of a perv.

— A/N - Something short I wrote to get a feel for writing again. Enjoy <3

Mike brushes away the few strands that flowed onto her face and then gently pinches those strands as if he were memorizing the texture and length to memory. He’s learned so much in the time you’ve worked under him yet somehow he had no idea about the way your hair reacted when twirled, or how feathery soft the ends were when pressed against the pads of his fingers. Ingraining the memory of your hair may have been insignificant to most, but to him it was a part of the many reasons why he found himself smitten with you.

There’s so much more to you and it's killing him inside that he’s only able to grasp what’s presented to him on the surface. Like a butterfly hit with a particularly strong breeze your eyelids flutter open. Those beautiful and glossy eyes of yours perceiving him through a sleep-induced haze that you tried to shake away with a few toss and turns of your head. Upon the groan you let slip Mike instinctively grabbed ahold of your chin, keeping your gaze on him and from wondering elsewhere.

“Hey, take it easy, there’s no rush.” As always you were stubborn. He could tell you still weren’t completely deprived of your will by the way you attempted to free your chin. But Mike’s always been someone who’s had to adapt – his willingness to compromise outmatching any of your stubborn fits you still liked to display. “I said, take it easy.” His grip became vice-like and that’s what got you to settle. You still appeared trapped in delusions, an Alice running from the world she brought upon herself.

This was your fault, after all. And much like Alice, you have no one but to blame but yourself.

“If you move around so much you’ll probably give yourself an even worse headache.” To emphasize his point he began harshly shaking your head back and forth, only regretting it when your attention left him in favor of screwing your eyelids shut. You groaned out a quiet plea, wanting him to stop so he did. “What? Isn’t that what you wanted?” You opted to sniffle out a barely concealed sob instead of speaking. That was fine with him though, he didn’t need you to say anything to understand what you felt or thought about something. He believes he knows you well enough to be able to make these translations himself. “Doesn’t feel so nice, does it?” He flicked your chin away and stood up, feeling a drop of water land on his head and the distant echo of traffic from outside the house. His basement wasn’t the most ideal place for him to house you in but with everything you’ve done it’s the place you’re most deserving of.

“I’ll be back after work.” He told her apologetically. The constant shifts of emotions he went through was enough to give anyone whiplash. “If Abby tells me you’ve been loud then I won’t hesitate to muzzle you. Is that what you want to happen, Y/n?” At his inquiry you squirmed, shaking your head in denial and then stopping right after. Mike smiled, pleased with how quickly you were adapting. “Yeah, I know you wouldn’t. So let’s not make this drugging thing a habit anymore, okay?” He didn’t like having to do these sorts of things but if his hand was forced then what else was he supposed to do?

You graced him with one last look of acknowledgement before seemingly drifting back off into your little wonderland. Mike couldn’t help himself and immediately knelt back down, cupping your face in his hand and swiping his thumb against the droplet of water you produced. Mike brought that same thumb to his lips, his tongue wrapping around his fingers and his lungs contracting as he sucked the taste of you off himself. You were perfect. And the way you tasted proved that fact tenfold.

#yandere x reader #yandere #yandere mike schmidt #yandere fnaf #yandere five nights at freddy’s #mike schmidt x reader

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sprout-fics · 1 year

Note

okay okay Thursday thot:

I need to know who of the 141 would go absolutely feral over seeing their pregnant partner. Like they’ve been gone on an extended mission and haven’t seen their bump yet and so when they see their partner and their pregnant belly their minds just go brrrrrr

Okay so this is less of a drabble and more of musings I suppose?

Gaz:

Gaz comes home and cries. Like he knew you were pregnant of course, only found out after he had deployed and you got a secure connection to him. He cries over the phone, too happy for words, can barely handle himself. Like fuck, he's going to be a dad. He cries and Price has to apologize for his blubbering and assure you it's a good thing, that the sergeant is too happy for words.

Then Gaz comes home and actually sees you and it hits home for him all over again. He tugs you into his arms, props you on the kitchen counter and stares at you like a man seeing the moon for the first time in his solitary life. Thanks whatever higher being exists for the miracle created between you and him. He's emotional, doting, and it isn't until those feelings settle later that he gets touchy

Rubbing at your shoulders and back until the knots come loose with a moan, props your feet in his lap and rubs at your swollen ankles, keeps you in his lap and feeds you while you both watch a movie, spoon you and drag you into his chest when you fall asleep. He's in love with you, with your body, with the weight and shape of the three of you combined.

This man worships you. Kisses you from your ankles up your thighs to your round stomach to your swelling breasts to your neck and mouth, whispers affirmations and praises until you want to hide in your hands and he only pulls them away, tell you "Let me see you, let me see how gorgeous you are."

Soap:

Soap hauls you into his arms the second he hears "I'm pregnant, Johnny." Whoops and hollers and cackles between kisses like someone has just told him he's won the lottery. He's always wanted a soccer team, and now you have your first player on the way. You don't get any rest that afternoon, not when he's made you shudder with your fifth and final orgasm on his fingers and tongue. It hurts when he has to leave after, before you even show, but he makes up for it when he comes back.

Man drops to his knees when he sees you next, talking to your child and bringing you to tears with how sweet and tender he is. Yet then he turns his attentions to you.

He won't stop touching you. Literally has to have his hands on you at all times. It's like his brain is hardwired to do so, literally only gets dopamine when he's crowded behind you in the kitchen, has you splayed across his lap, holds your hand wherever you two go. It's almost like a clingy cat, he'd shower with you if you'd let him, and instead he sits outside and grumbles when you push him out and tell him you need "Privacy."

"I already seen every part o' you." You gripes. "It's how I got the little one into you in the first place."

He's literally horny 24/7. Would live between your thighs f he had the choice. It's like he doesn't realize you can't get pregnant while you're already carrying a kid. You think there's a part of his brain that's fried just by the sight of you, can't help himself. This is the man that turns the phrase 'Irish twins' into 'Scottish twins'

Unpopular opinion:

Ghost and Price don't have this reaction. Price claims he's too old and grizzled and loves his job too much for kids, and it's true, but I also think there's a bitterness of the things that he's seen that drains him of any hope and yearning that his partner's pregnancy can summon in him.

Ghost, if he finds out you're pregnant, bolts. He's scared, even though he'll never say it. Thinks too much about his mom, about Tommy, about his dad's cackling sinister laughter and refuses to acknowledge it, shuts you out no matter how you try to coax him. Maybe someday, maybe somehow, but not now. Not soon.

#johnny soap mactavish #johnny soap mactavish x reader #gaz x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #kyle gaz garrick #thursday night thots #pregnancy tw

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holdmytesseract · 8 months

Note

Ohh well hello there bestie ✌️ My request for you is…

Will Ransome having to visit London and attend a party where he meets Reader and they share a dance (and maybe more 😏).

Hearts Aflame

Will Ransome x fem!Reader

Summary: Will gets invited to London for the engagment party of a very good friend. What happens when he meets you again after ten long years?

Warnings: thirst, suggestive smut, mentions of alcohol, age gap, fluff?

Word Count: 3,8k

a/n: It was so much fun to write for Will again. I hope you are going to like this, bestie! 🫡 Thanks for the request! 💖

Tags: @lady-rose-moon @muddyorbsblr @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @jennyggggrrr @stupidthoughtsinwriting @evelyn-kingsley @vanilla-daydreaming @loz-3 @fictive-sl0th @lovingchoices14 @lokidbadguy @icytrickster17 @lulubelle814 @mandywholock1980 @november-rayne @chantsdemarins @simping-for-marvel @lou12346789 @lokiforever @multifandom-worlds @hisredheadedgoddess28 @vbecker10 @jaidenhawke @km-ffluv @crimson25 @cakesandtom @buttercupcookies-blog @salvinaa @javagirl328 @dustychinchilla74 @frzntrx @coldnique

Masterlist °☆• Hiddles Masterlist

It was a rather cold autumn day in Aldwinter. Dark rain clouds hung all over the sky; ready to let the rain pour, causing Will Ransome - vicar of the cosy, little village to make bigger steps towards his home. He had taken the dog on a walk and was now fleeting from a threatening downpour, looming in the sky. The vicar's chocolate brown Cocker Spaniel had to run, in order to keep up with his master's big steps.

"Come on, Pup, come on. I don't want to get wet - and you neither. I know you."

But unfortunately, the weather didn't show mercy on them. It literally started to rain pitchforks, when the duo was only a few minutes away from their home. Hence, Will was already able to see it in distance. Nevertheless, it didn't help. Just like the running. When they reached the small house, dog and owner were soaked to the skin; clothes and fur literally dripping.

As fast as somehow possible, Will unlocked the door to let himself and Pup in. The moment the wooden door fell into its hinges, the vicar threw his coat on the coat hook to dry and immediately hurried to get a towel, before Pup could- Too late. Will was sprinting down the stairs; towel in hands as he witnessed how the dog shook off the water, causing the droplets to land everywhere. Will sighed in defeat, shook his head and made his way over towards the Cocker Spaniel. "You couldn't wait for another second, could you?" Pup just huffed and looked at him apologetically. "You are a bad boy sometimes, but I love you nonetheless, you fluffy little creature."

After rubbing the Cocker Spaniel's fur completely dry with the towel and also cleaning up the water on the floor, Will went upstairs to the bathroom, in order to get dry himself.

He unbuttoned his wet shirt first, then slid the suspenders off his shoulders, so that he could take off the usually puffy garment as well; leaving his torso bare. After getting rid of his brown trousers as well, he went to rub his long, blonde-brown curls dry, just like his whole body. Once that was done, he slipped in fresh clothes and decided to head back downstairs, where his faithful dog waited for him - with a piece of paper in his mouth?

Will frowned and squatted down; "What do you have here, buddy?" and took it from Pup's mouth. It was a letter - like the vicar recognised. A letter from someone he hadn't heard of in a long time... An old friend from London. Henry Carter. They used to be best friends; even went to school together. Will spent the most of his youth with him. But someday their ways parted, when Henry decided to become a lawyer and Will a man of God.

With a smile and full of anticipation, the vicar sat down on his little sofa and opened the letter.

Greetings, my old friend!

I sincerely hope that you do remember me. After all, it's been quite a few years since the last time we saw each other. Just know that I never forgot you - and with this letter, I would like to invite you to my engagement party. Yes, you read that right, my friend. I found a lovely, wonderful woman, who is very eager to meet you. So, if you have the time, my fiancee and I would be overjoyed to welcome you in London next Saturday.

I hope to see you soon,

Henry Carter

Will's smile widened, as he put the letter back inside the envelope. Oh he'd certainly go to London next weekend.

A week later, the vicar's feet touched, indeed, London ground again - since years. He didn't want to admit it, but it felt good to leave Aldwinter for a while. Even if it was just two days. It was a break he didn't know he needed.

At the train station, he was already awaited. By a man Will only knew too well - and a strange woman who stood beside him. The man smiled brightly as soon as he recognised the vicar and met him on the way.

"Will?" Henry asked; quite a bit surprised. Will smiled and started to nod as well. "Hello, old friend." A breathless laugh left the lawyer's lips, before he went to hug his school friend; clapping him on the shoulder. William returned the gesture, of course; was just as happy.

"You've changed, Will!" Henry stated, after paying his appearance a closer look. "I did?" "Yes! Look at you! You've grown! You were always tall, but never that... muscly... Even got a beard now! And your hair is way longer than in my memories." Will chuckled at his friend's assessments. "Well, I suppose I have... But you, my friend, you didn't change at all!" That caused the man to chuckle along Will, before they both went silent for a moment.

"It's so great to have you here and see you again. There've been times where I thought I'd probably never see you again, but here you are..." "That thought crossed my mind a few times, too, my friend. I wanted to write you a letter and somehow contact you, but I didn't know where you lived now. Still with your parents? Perhaps not even in London anymore... I didn't know."

Henry placed a hand on Will's shoulder. "You couldn't. I stayed at my parents for another year, but then... Then I met her." The lawyer turned and looked at the woman, who still stood a few meters away from the reunited friends; smiling softly. "Come on, I want you to meet Eva." The men smiled at each other, before they both made their way over to said woman.

"Eva, darling... Let me finally introduce you to Mr. William Ransome." Henry gestured at Will, "Will... This is my beautiful fiancee Eva." then at Eva. Will smiled and stretched out his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Eva." She took his hand and allowed the vicar to bestow a decent kiss on the skin of her hand - a gentleman to the core. "The pleasure is all mine, Mr. Ransome." "Will... Please call me Will."

The remaining afternoon was spent with Henry and Eva showing Will around in their quite big house, letting the vicar unpack his things and teatime, of course. A lot of conversations were shared. When the wedding is, how the couple met and so on. For Will, it was about getting to know the woman his dear friend married - just like it was for Eva to get to know her future husband's friend.

In the evening, after dinner, Will and Henry decided to go to a local bar, in order to celebrate their reunion. Despite that, they still had quite some catching up to do.

Now they were seated in the bar; both with a glass of beer in hands. "So... Tell me, friend... How is Aldwinter?" Will smiled. "Well... It's a small, cosy village. The people are great. I love to live there and being a vicar. I came to think that this was what Aldwinter needed... A vicar. The people trust me and I appreciate that a lot." Henry nodded and smiled as well, "That's great to hear, honestly." before he took a sip of his beer.

"Do you have a own house or do you live in the church?" "It's 'just' a chapel and too small to live in. I have a own little house. You can come visit sometime. You and Eva of course, if you'd like to." "Sure, why not. We'd love to." Henry paused for a moment; let Will drink some of his beer as well, before he fired the next question at him.

"A little house... And you live there... alone?" Will noticed immediately what Henry was insisting. It wasn't quite subtle. The vicar looked down; fingers nervously tapped against the glass of beer. "Yes, I... I live there alone - with my little dog, Pup."

Opposite him, Henry raised an eyebrow - unbeknownst to Will. "No woman?" His friend shook his head. "N-No." The lawyer copied his gesture. "How is that possible, William? When I think back to our youth - our time in school, almost every lady had laid her eyes upon you. They would've all wanted you. You can't tell me that this has changed." He stated; drinking again.

Will shrugged his shoulders; gaze lifting again. "I really don't know, Henry, I... I just haven't found the right woman yet. But I trust in god to send her my way when the time comes." Henry reached over to clap his friend on the shoulder. "Well, I trust in that too, then. Just know that you are not getting younger. It's time for you settle down, you know..." "I do know, yes..."

Silence spread between the two man; both of them thinking about the exchanged words for a moment. A small laugh left Henry's lips then. "I can't quite believe I reached this milestone before you." Will couldn't help but to chuckle as well. "Me neither, honestly."

The two friends continued to talk about anything and everything, until one specific topic suddenly came up... You.

"Who else did you have invited for the celebration who I might know?" Will asked with a smile. "Other old school friends?" Henry shook his head. "No, I didn't. Apologies. My parents would've loved to come, but they said they're feeling too old for such a party. I accepted their wish to not attend." He paused; took a sip of his beer. "I think the only other person you know is my little sister, Y/N. Do you remember her?"

Will's eyes widened at the mention of your name. Of course, he remembered you! He had seen you often back when he was younger and hanging out with Henry. Will always thought of you as Henry's sweet, little sister - since you had been still a child. Well... A very young woman, to say it right. The vicar quickly calculated in his head. He was about twenty-two that time. Henry was just as old and you... You were fourteen, which means that you were now... twenty-four. A grown woman.

"Yes, yes, of course I remember her. She was still very young back then." Henry nodded with a chuckle. "She was, indeed... But not anymore. She has grown, my friend. She's not that sweet, innocent girl anymore... Y/N's a woman now. You're not going to believe your eyes when you see her again. I bet you won't even recognize her." Will smiled; drank the last sip of his beer. "That is most likely going to happen. After all, it's been ten years..."

Henry should be proven right...

A sigh left your lips, as you grabbed another glass of champagne, before you hid yourself in one of the corners; exchanging several more fake smiles on your way there.

You were bored. Utterly bored.

It wasn't like you didn't want to be here, at your big brother's engagement party, no, but the problem was that you knew everybody here and had talked at least twice to all the people. Too many familiar faces - and the most of them not your age.

You barely finished to think that thought, when your eyes suddenly spotted a strange man in the crowd. You narrowed your eyes; gaze sticking on him as he got greeted by your brother. He was tall. Way taller than Henry. His hair was long and curly; coloured in blonde-brown. His cheekbones were high and sharp - like you could tell. A soft scruff was covering his cheeks and chin, and you could swear that he had blue eyes. You bit your lip. That guy probably was the most handsome man you had ever seen.

Now you were intrigued. Henry owed you some explanations. From where did he know that tuxedo clad gentleman?

As if Henry heard your thoughts, you could see him making his way over to you - and he seemed to be very excited. You could tell.

"Y/N!" He called out your name in a cheery voice. "Y/N, you have to see someone!" Henry grabbed both your hands; smiling brightly. You lifted an eyebrow, "Is it your mysterious new friend you kept from me?" and nodded towards the man, who was currently talking to Eva.

Henry followed your gaze - and started to laugh. "He's not my mysterious new friend I kept from you. In fact, you know him. Very well might I add." You frowned; were quite a bit confused now. Sure, you thought he looked somehow familiar, but played it off as a coincidence. Now, after your brother's words, though... But from where could you know- "Do you remember my childhood friend Will? William Ransome? Well..."

Your eyes widened the moment those words left your brother's lips and for a short moment, you felt like fainting, as your heart rate sped up. "You are fooling me, brother! This is Will?!" Henry laughed once more; nodding. "I kid you not, sister." He turned around to Will, shouting: "Hey, Will! Would you come over, please?"

Will's head turned with a smile, and before he walked over to join you and your brother, he politely ended the conversation he had with Eva.

Your heart threatened to burst inside of your chest, as you watched the tall man stepping closer - and when he spoke your name, everything froze in time around you. "Y/N..." His voice sounded exactly like you remembered it. Deep, yet smooth like velvet. Being the gentleman he was, the vicar stretched out his palm for you to take. Wordlessly, you complied; placed your hand in his and letting him brush a soft kiss on your knuckles. Your knees almost buckled.

"It's has been such a long time, I... I don't know what to say! It is a pleasure to see you again." Will's gaze met yours, causing you to get lost in his eyes; drowning helplessly in those oceanic blues. Up close, he was even more handsome. What an attractive man he had become... You definitely needed a moment to recover.

"I find myself being just as stunned, Will. It is great to see you as well. After all, it has been over ten years!"

Henry left you and Will alone to talk then; having other guests to tend to as well. And while you talked about how your life had been in all those past years, Will wasn't able to tear his gaze apart from you...

You've aged - but in the best way possible. Henry had been right. You weren't the young girl anymore he used to know. You had grown into the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Countless conversations and another glass of champagne later, Will had asked you to dance with him and how could you say no to that? How could you deny him this wish? You gladly accepted; feeling all the old feelings you had harboured for this man in your youth reappear. Everything you thought you had buried deep within you re-emerged; causing your heart to beat faster whenever he looked at you. It was like not even a day had passed since you last saw the vicar. Like the time had just stopped for the both of you. There was a tension between you and Will. A sizzle. A spark; ready to burst into flames at any moment. It was thrilling. Exciting. And yet also a bit intimidating.

It was already late at night, when you decided to bid your goodbye and leave. Will, being the gentleman he was, offered to accompany you home - something Henry was very grateful for. A young lady walking home alone in the dead of the night through the streets of London? Unacceptable.

In what Henry and probably also Will saw a kind favour, you saw a chance. Perhaps the only chance you'd get before life ripped Will out of your sight once more...

"There we are..." You announced; stopping in front of a tall, slightly decayed brick house. The dim street lamps didn't provide enough light to illuminate the whole street, but enough that you were able to make out the handsome features of the man standing in front of you in his black tuxedo.

"That is the house you are living in?" You nodded with a smile. "Yes, it is." Will shook his head, as a soft chuckle rumbled through his chest. "It's so much bigger than the little cottage I live in." You had to giggle as well. "Well... London isn't Aldwinter, Mr. Ransome - and besides, I don't live alone in here. There are several apartments." Will's cheeks reddened slightly. You could tell. "Right, of course. Apologies." You just smiled at him, before an unpleasant silence spread over the both of you. The tension was still there. Just like the spark; setting almost the night air aflame. You better make a move now or let him walk out of your life once more - perhaps for all times, a voice in your mind whispered; urging you on. Probably it was your heart speaking to you.

You took a step back and leaned against the wooden main door; crossing your arms behind your back.

Will noticed the shift in your demeanour immediately; gaze stuck on your face for a long moment, before he literally forced himself to look away.

"Y/N... Don't..." His words were nothing more than a whisper.

"Whatever do you mean?" You retorted; innocence swinging within your voice.

Will shook his head softly. "Don't look at me like that. Please, don't give me those eyes." You bit your lip; releasing a hand from behind your back to slowly place it on the vicar's chest. "Why?" You breathed; toying with the buttons of his pristine white shirt.

Will swallowed hard. "Be-Because it's wrong. We... We shouldn't do..." Before he could finish his sentence, you had pulled him towards you; his feet following your command. His words died in his throat, when he watched your soft, plump lips inching closer to his - until the contact was inevitable. Your warm lips caught his in a hesitant - almost shy kiss.

Unfortunately, it ended way too soon, as you pulled back after a mere few seconds; leaving him aching for more. Will didn't even notice how he was chasing after your lips in a desperate attempt to keep them locked to his. And nevertheless, his mind was still trying to talk sense into him. "... do this." He ended the sentence in which you had interrupted him oh so rudely.

You could hear how hard he swallowed. "We... We shouldn't, Y/N." Will reasoned; gently taking your hand in his bigger one. You watched his palm swallow yours whole, as he moved your hand away from his chest. The moment he dropped your hand caused a cold shiver to run down your spine; followed by an aching pain. You didn't want to loose his touch. Ever again.

You shook your head; hand hovering over his chest once more. "Why, William?" The vicar took a deep breath. "You... You are the little sister of my best friend and-" "And?" "And you are so much younger than I am. You're a precious flower; not meant for me. I... I don't want to ruin you."

"What if I want you to ruin me?"

Your feelings and desire for the older man opposite you spoke faster than your brain was able to react.

Will blinked; clearly couldn't believe your words. "W-What?"

"Will... You were the first boy I fell in love with; ten years back. At first I thought it was foolish and youthful behaviour of my body, but then... Then you'd come around to spend time with my brother and... And I knew it wasn't. I had fallen head over heels for the best friend of Henry. Of course, I was way too shy and young to tell you. It was my secret." Will's eyes had widened; oceanic blues looking at you. Stunned.

"When you left, I buried my feelings for you. I thought they would stay buried, but when I saw you again, today... You already ruined me for every other man to come, Will." Shock and disbelief was written all over the vicar's face. He hadn't expected this to happen. Not at all. He didn't know. How could he?

"I have always wanted you." Those words were again merely above a whisper, but they urged to his ears nevertheless. Again, you let your palm rest on his chest; feeling his heart beat rapidly against his chest. Will gasped at the combination of your words and touch. He still couldn't quite believe it - and the rational part of his brain still tried to appeal to his conscience.

"Y/N, it..." He started to shake his head once more. "It wouldn't have been right. You were not even fifteen! It would've been wrong! For us to love each other and for me to take such a young woman's innocence!" Will inhaled deeply; running a hand through his hair. "By god, I... I was twenty-two! Don't you see how wrong it was?! How wrong it still is?!"

You honestly didn't understand what his problem was. It may have been wrong ten years back, but now?

"That may be right, Will, but..." You let your hand linger on his left pec for a moment, before you let your palm travel lower. And lower. And lower. Will's oceanic blue eyes followed your every move; widening when your hand settled on the zipper of his black trousers. "... you can take it now. I'm not a young girl anymore. I am a grown woman. Please... Don't deny me."

Your words send a shiver down Will's spine. A warm - almost hot shiver. The ends of his nerves sizzled and he could clearly feel the arousal start to grow within the pit of his stomach. Especially when he looked at your lust blown eyes; sparkling underneath the dim light under the street lamp.

Then you undid the zipper - and he felt a throb; something undeniably twitching alive. How... How in the Lord's name was he supposed to resist this temptation?

The answer to this question was found quickly... "Please, Will... Please..." You almost whispered; eyes full of desire, love - and want.

He couldn't.

Shaking hands reached for hips; pulling you swiftly closer. You stumbled against his chest - and before you knew what was happening, you felt Will's lips upon yours. This kiss was anything but innocent. It was fierce, passionate, demanding.

Somehow, you managed to open the main door and together you stumbled inside the house; lips - and hearts intertwined.

The world around the vicar stopped to spin when you sank together in the deepest oceans of pleasure. All he could feel was you.

#will ransome #the essex serpent #will ransome x reader #will ransome x you #will ransome x y/n #tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston characters

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keshetchai · 4 months

Note

Greetings Friend,

I hope you can help me

How did you go about learning Hebrew? As in what resources, classes, books etc. did you use to get a handle on the language?

I really struggle with languages, so I was hoping you had some advice or tips.

As a bit of background, I am currently a conversion student, going on almost 2.5 years now. I have long since completed the formal learning requirement with my synagogue (conservative) and according to my rabbis, I am free to attend the Beit Din and Mikvah whenever I so choose.

I know my neshama is Jewish, I know this is who I am/supposed to be. I know because of some unusual childhood experiences, and then when I started converting most aspects of the learning and practices came so naturally (granted nowhere near an orthodox level of observance, which isn’t necessarily the goal at this time, but certainly not something I am opposed to perusing) except for the languages.

As previously stated my rabbis say it is okay but something is holding me back from taking that final plunge (lol), and I believe it’s the language.

I still bench in English, and find it really stressful to attend services because I can barely muddle my way around the liturgy, or songs during a Shabbat dinner.

Of course this is just a personal hang up, and absolutely no criticism or shame on anyone else who converted without knowing/knowing very little of the language. Just, for some reason it just doesn’t feel right. I cannot bring myself to say I am actually a member of this wonderful, beautiful tribe before I have overcome this hurdle.

So… any advice?

A few answers for you, the first is most important:

Very Early On in my studying, one of the two rabbis at my synagogue wasn't leading and so she sat in the back, and I decided to sit next to her because i was still finding my footing in the basic service.

And at one point, it may have been for mi hamocha, the cantor starts with a NEW tune I don't know, and I'm still relying on the transliteration entirely and was still trying to memorize the FIRST tune.

And my rabbi leans over and whispers to me: "I have never heard this tune before in my life either."

And the anxiety broke, then. I didn't know this version for the song already and I was lost. But the rabbi sitting next to me also didn't know this tune.

Being Jewish is about always learning something new, even if you are encountering the same thing you've seen or done before dozens or hundreds of times. THAT is being Jewish. Rereading the same book every year and the same passages over and over, but still being a little lost or even finding something you never knew before?

That is being a Jew.

Jews may open a siddur and know what they'll find there, but we do not open it and expect to know everything about how that material is used or applied. And we don't feel a guarantee that life will not teach us something new today, or that someone's minhag won't be totally different from ours. Jews may know the Torah, they may even choose to memorize the mitzvot by heart, but we don't expect this memorization will ensure we never have a halakhic question in life!

So you see, the big scary fact is this: you might become a fluent reader of prayer book Hebrew, you might someday daven entirely in Hebrew, or even graduate rabbinical school, but still sometimes be thrown into being a stranger to something, even something you thought you knew.

But when you identify this and then embrace it, it becomes less scary and part of your Jewish identity. Being perfectly settled, fixed in your knowledge or your thinking or your skills — it honestly doesn't feel terribly Jewish to me.

And for many people born as Jews this can manifest as a type of reflexive embarrassment or self-consciousness for failing at jewishness somehow or having less knowledge for one reason or another. It can make folks defensive or ashamed or feel frustrated for the disconnect. I'm here to tell you that as converts we get the chance to illustrate joyfully that no Jew knows everything Jewish, and that is the experience of being Jewish. The biggest thing holding any of us back from learning the things we don't know is

a) being afraid to seem not Jewish enough or

b) being afraid to not know something

I have excellent news for your (and my) anxiety:

A) almost all Jews worry about how Jewish they seem in some fashion or another so that's normal and,

B) since only hashem knows everything, our job is to not know everything, but to be willing to learn anything. Also we're better in numbers! Two heads are better than one and a minyan is better than that! Everyone doesn't know something, but none of us are alone as Jews. Which is why we become Jewish in community, and not alone. Because someone else might know what we don't!

Get it?

Step #1: you have to jump feet first into not already knowing something perfectly and start knowing less but learning more.

If you are reading the English words and English translations to daven, this means you need to stop. This was your training wheel. And you are not finding your own balance relying on it.

If your siddur has transliterations of the hebrew, bring a little index card next time and cover up the English as you daven for a start. I familiarized myself with the Hebrew because I was saying everything in Hebrew out loud every single time. Once you know the shema by heart more or less (for example), all you have to do is learn the alphabet to prompt your memory to progress further in your Hebrew learning.

That's how kids learn any language. We speak before reading as children. So speak and chant and sing in Hebrew. Whisper the Hebrew. As you get more comfortable, learning to read Hebrew will be an exercise you can even do during the middle of shabbat.

Because you know what the prayer says, and you just need to match the words you see to the sounds you know.

Step #2: know the aleph bet before you attempt reading comprehension of all words.

Things that I used to learn the aleph bet:

Hebrew scripts (the app by drops)

Write it! Hebrew app

Victoria Hanna's The Aleph Bet Song (Hosha'na) because uh she sings the aleph bet and pronounces it

Behrman House Books: Hineni: prayerbook Hebrew for adults; aleph isn't tough! For adults. The kids stuff is good too, I'm not ashamed to say I own "time to read Hebrew!" 1&2

(The Hebrew by inbal on Amazon looks new but good possibly?)

If you want a siddur set up specifically to practice matching transliteration and Hebrew aleph bet, I recommend Chayim Alevsky's My Siddur (choose the minhag variant you use! I bought the Sephardic/Israeli as I don't use ashkie pronunciations.

There will be slight differences of you're used to liberal inclusion of say, the matriarchs, but in general this is a solid practice book for anyone. Transliteration is given word by word, with full word blocks reading in the same direction as Hebrew. At the bottom of the page certain (possibly newer to the learner) words will be defined.

It also now has an app which looks like this:

So you see this is pairing the reading direction of Hebrew words with the sounds spelled out in English to strengthen your Hebrew. If you try to read the transliteration in the English direction word by word, you'll be reading it backwards and starting with v'kayahm, instead of "modeh" (or "modah" feminine). Further even if you're starting correctly with modeh, the English word is still left to right over the Hebrew right to left. so this forces you to be attentive to the Hebrew itself and slow down word by word!

The layout in the print versions means you can cover up the transliteration to test your learning of certain words, and only check if you forget.

I still am not perfect at everything and I truthfully attentively practice Chinese far more than Hebrew reading, but this is what helped me.

Good luck!

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fortisfilia · 2 months

Text

Promised Part 8 - Tom Riddle x reader

Info: This is a rewrite of a story I've posted on my old account years ago. If it sounds familiar, that might be why :)

Summary: In this story, Tom didn't grow up as an orphan, but with his grandfather and uncle. Reader's sister got very sick and the Gaunts offer their help. But not without asking for something in return.

Warnings: Arranged marriage

Word count: 3.1k

Masterpost | Masterlist | Part 7 | Part 9

Part 8 - Slughorn's Party

Returning to Hogwarts after the Christmas holidays was far less stressful this time. Now that Elsie was better, it was much easier to concentrate on your studies. Maybe you could also focus on Tom. Both things seemed equally important somehow. And the fact that you could see Camille again added to the good things Hogwarts had to offer.

You were sitting on her bed in her dorm, telling her everything that had been going on during the last days. The Gaunts who had wanted to force you to do an unbreakable vow, their fight with Tom, that Tom had stayed for a bit, the book he had gifted you and everything in between.

“I can’t believe you got him a snake,” Camille laughed. “What do you think his family said about that?”

“I couldn’t care less what they think of it. I hope they’re mad at me.”

“Do you think Tom got in trouble for it?”

“I don’t think so. He knows how to stand his ground.”

“And the book he gave you? Do you think that it means something? It’s some sort of family heirloom after all.”

Thinking about it, you lay down on your back next to her. “I’m not sure. Do you think that was some kind of secret message from him?”

“Maybe.”

“I’ll have to look into that.” You rolled over to face her. “And what have you done these days? Tell me all about your presents.”

“Well,” Camille said with a smile. “The presents weren’t the most exciting part of my holiday, to be honest.”

“Let me guess. You met someone! A guy?”

The smile on her face widened. “I didn’t meet him. I just kept in contact via owl.”

“Oh, Merlin! Who is it? Someone from school?”

She nodded.

“Go on, tell me!”

Her expression suddenly changed. “You have to promise not to be mad.”

“Why would I be mad?”

“It’s someone you don’t exactly like,” she said, a thick tone of guilt in her voice.

Then you knew. “No. Don’t. It’s Ben Hilt, isn’t it?”

She nodded slowly. “Yes.”

“Oh, Camille,” you sighed and needed a moment to sort out your thoughts. “Why?”

“He is a very charming boy.”

“He’s a year younger than you.”

“So?” she giggled.

“He wanted to tell on me to the Ministry, so that I wouldn’t be able to marry Tom. Sticks his nose in everybody’s business.”

“He just wanted to help. He thought you were forced to do it. And you have to admit he wasn’t exactly wrong about that.”

“Have you told him about the pact?”

“Of course not! I would never. I told him right from the start that if he’s only after me to get information about Riddle and you, he could piss off.”

“And?”

“He didn’t piss off,” she smiled. “He’s really nice. We never talked about you and Tom after I had made it clear it was none of his business. He didn’t even bring it up to begin with. I did. I would never date someone who would want to harm you, I swear.”

“Ugh, I know,” you groaned. “You’re too good. For me and for Ben.”

“Shut up,” she said as she nudged your shoulder.

“Wait. Did you just say ‘date’ someone? Are you official?”

“No. I guess not. But maybe someday. Now, what are you going to wear to Slughorn’s party?”

Slughorn’s annual belated New Year’s party was one of the few exclusive gatherings happening in school. Students could only attend if they had gotten a personal invitation, from Slytherin’s headteacher Horace Slughorn, who would invite his favourite pupil, or rather, the ones he thought looked best in his trophy collection.

Camille, Tom and you had all gotten Slughorn’s owl. You had not mustered up the courage to ask him about it. Even though you were going to marry him, that didn’t mean he wanted to go to the party together. Together, as in, on a date. It had felt too delicate talking about it directly, the fear of being rejected too present. So you had danced around the subject, trying to find out if you were on the same page. Until he had finally said what you had wanted to hear. He had asked when to pick you up as if the possibility of not going there as a couple had not even occurred to him.

Seven o’clock, as arranged. It had arrived so soon. You hastily fixed the small wrinkles on the hem of your dress with a spell when you heard him knock on the door. Tom looked very posh in his black suit, politely offering his arm. And off you went. Together.

The guests at the party were students from years six and seven, as well as some teachers. Camille, who had brought Ben with her, looked absurdly pretty in her golden dress. Ben couldn’t have been more proud. He talked to Camille continuously and just seemed head over heels for her. Right next to them stood two of Ben’s friends, looking all out of character in suits. Avery and Lestrange came without dates and seemed awfully nervous for some reason. They whispered to each other every time you looked their way.

And then there was Freda Morris. Hogwarts’ head girl, who had her eyes fixated on Tom from the moment you had entered the room. Had she even noticed you next to him? Was she aware Tom was spoken for? Everyone knew by now that you were engaged after all, the ring on your finger being a testament to that. Either she didn’t know, or she didn’t care. The expression she sent you, after carefully staring you up and down, told you though, that she was absolutely aware of your relationship. She looked like she wanted to throw you out the next window.

“What in Merlin’s beard?” you muttered quietly to yourself after she had finally turned away from you.

“Pardon?” Tom asked and came closer so he could hear you better.

“Nevermind. Let’s go over to Camille and Ben, shall we?”

Tom’s gaze fell right on the two.

“Your friend came with Hilt?” he asked sternly and began to walk their way.

“Um, yes. About that,” you said, pulling lightly on his arm to stop him. “They’re dating. Kind of. They’re not official yet, but, you know, it could lead somewhere.”

He looked like you had just given him the world’s most unnecessary information. “What are you trying to tell me?”

“That we have to be nice,” you answered and gave him your best fake smile, demonstrating what you wanted him to do.

“Nice?” He gawked so blankly at you, it was almost comical. “You want me to be nice to Benjamin Hilt? After what he’s done?”

“Well… Yes.”

“Why?” Tom asked, genuinely not understanding what you meant.

“Because Camille is my best friend. And she likes him.”

Tom sighed.

“Answer me this,” he said. “Camille knows a lot about you, yes?”

“Yes.”

“I assume she knows about us.“ He started talking more quietly. “Our pact?”

“She does.”

He rolled his eyes. “That’s what I thought.”

“So?” you asked.

“Isn’t it clear? He’s sweet-talking her to get information.”

“That’s what I first thought too. But Camille swore she wouldn’t tell him a thing. And she said she had made that clear to him from the beginning.”

Tom was still eyeing Ben sharply.

“Come on,” you said and pulled him their way. “I trust Camille. It’ll be fine.”

“It‘s not her I don’t trust,” Tom said under his breath. “At least he's a true Gryffindor if he goes after her now. Either completely daft or actually courageous.” Your eyebrows lifted in question and he ducked his head grinning. “Remember I told you I’d take care of him when Marvolo sent his letter?”

“Yes?”

“I sort of did.”

Stopping in your tracks, you asked, “When? And what did you do?”

“A few weeks before Christmas. I just pulled him aside and talked.”

“Talked?”

“Well, I talked. He didn’t say much to be fair.”

“Tom, where did you take him?”

“The weather was nice so I took him outside.”

Short answers again. This story wasn’t going to end well. “Where?”

He still feigned innocence, squinting his eyes as if he struggled to remember. “The whomping willow.”

“The wh- Tom! What in Merlin’s name were you thinking?”

“I said I’d take care of him, so I did!” He held his hands up in defence. “Also, he was only up in the air for a minute, okay? I held back.”

“I can’t believe you’re telling me this now,” you sighed, your fingers pressed against your forehead.

He shrugged. “I didn’t deem it important. For me, the issue was settled.”

“Okay.” Shaking your head, you started walking towards them again. “Since it’s settled, we can give him another chance. And vice versa.”

Tom didn’t answer, following you silently.

When you greeted the two, Camille hugged you and gushed, “You look so beautiful! And you both know Ben, I believe.”

Of course, you did. Whether Ben wanted anything to do with you after what Tom had done was a different question. You offered him your hand and Ben shook it, despite it all, with an honest smile on his face.

“Fresh start?” you asked.

Ben nodded and turned to shake Tom’s hand as well. Tom looked at him seriously for a moment, inspecting his hand as if it was covered in Dragon Pox, until you nudged his side with your elbow, urging him to accept, which he reluctantly did.

Slughorn called for dinner before you could talk more, so you all went to the big oval table on the other side of the room. Ben sat down left of Camille, you to her right and Tom on your other side. Slughorn talked openly across the table, asking his students about their holidays, while dinner was served. Freda, obviously trying to impress, mentioned that she had been to France with her family, which didn’t have quite the effect on Slughorn that she had hoped it would.

“Pathetic,” you mumbled and Camille chuckled.

“Mean, aren’t we?” Tom whispered, a grin forming on his face.

“Me? Never.”

He exhaled a laugh and slowly grabbed your hand beneath the table, taking you by surprise. You looked at him, your fingers wrapping around his hand, then pulled them upwards and rested both his and your hand on the table.

“Now you’re just cruel,” Tom jested when Freda looked over and saw the two of you.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you answered, biting the inside of your cheek to prevent yourself from smiling. “I’m merely holding my fiance's hand. That’s not an act of violence, is it?”

“Fiancé, huh?” Tom asked.

“Aren’t you?”

“You’ve never called me that before.”

He was right. You had never called him that in person, or when you had talked about him to anyone else. If you didn’t know better, you could have sworn that a crimson haze was creeping up his neck and across his face.

“Well,” you swallowed, feeling a wave of heat on your cheeks as well. “It’s what you are, whether we like it or not.”

Tom nodded and held your hand a little tighter while glancing down at the table. “Fair.”

After dinner, the guests spread around the room, chatting and drinking punch while they waited for the first dance of the evening. Slughorn had pulled Tom aside a while ago, asking about his opinions on different things concerning Potions, politics and the news. He visibly hung to Tom’s every word, clearly awed by his favourite student, nodded and agreed to most of the things Tom said. You turned your back on them and faced Camille and Ben, still hearing the two chat behind you and thinking of how well-spoken Tom was. He knew how to lull in every teacher by heart. Each word that left his mouth seemed carefully crafted for Slughorn’s ears only and made him react just as Tom wanted him to. Impressive.

Having engaged in conversation with Camille and Ben, while still keeping an ear on Tom behind you, you heard that Slughorn finally set him free and wished him a nice evening. Tom would be joining you, no doubt, even though he still didn’t like Ben when suddenly an all too familiar voice started talking to him.

“Hello Tom,” Freda Morris said, sickly sweet. “How are you? How were your holidays?”

You shot Camille a look, to which she automatically checked the people behind you, eyes wide in disbelief when she peered back at you.

“What are you going to do?” she mouthed silently.

“No idea,” you mouthed back.

Ben stared back and forth between Camille and you, completely confused until he finally noticed what you were whispering about.

“Oh,” Ben snorted. “Someone’s looking for trouble.”

Alright. Freda had not given up on Tom yet. There was a knot in your stomach, pulling bitterly and twisting your insides. You tried to ignore it, took a deep breath and decided to listen to them first. Maybe you were overreacting. Jinxing her later was still an option.

“Oh yes, Paris was wonderful actually,” Freda enthused and had pronounced ‘Paris’ in a weird French accent. “It’s so cosy there around Christmas, you have to go someday.”

“Sounds nice,” Tom answered, rather casually. “Well, if you don’t mind, I-”

“Oh, Tom, actually,” she went on. “I wanted to ask you. Don’t you think we should open the first dance together, as head boy and girl? It’s a tradition, after all.”

Tradition? You had never heard of such a tradition before. Camille and Ben, now eavesdropping too, were as dumbfounded as you. Camille was sincerely shocked, while Ben’s mouth was open, half laughing, half speechless, like a fish on land gasping for air. It seemed that you had not been overreacting, so you turned around, now facing Tom and Freda’s backside.

“I don’t know if that’s actually a tradition, Freda,” Tom said, looking back at you briefly, one side of his mouth pulling upwards.

“Philip Elms and Eve Sterling opened the dance at last year’s party,” she huffed. “They were head girl and boy too.”

“Correct,” Tom agreed. “But they were dating at the time, weren’t they?”

Freda didn’t answer.

“And since we are not dating, I have to politely decline,” he said, again looking at you. “Now excuse me, I have to talk to my fiancée.”

Tom left Freda standing there and the four of you watched her wandering off. No one said a word, Camille was holding her breath until Ben burst out laughing. “Mate,” he chuckled. “That was… deadly.”

Tom didn’t laugh, squinting at what Ben had just called him, but nodded appreciatively before he turned to you, offering his hand.

“What are you doing?” you asked.

“Opening the dance? The music has just started and Slughorn told me I should do it.”

You shook your head smiling, took his hand and let him take you over to the dance floor.

“For someone who accused me of being cruel, you’re doing a very good job yourself, you know,” you said, keeping an eye out for Freda, in case she planned on hexing you. Better safe than sorry.

“Ah, she’ll be fine,” Tom assured. “Or would you have preferred if I took her to dance?”

The question didn't need an answer, so you just gave him a knowing look when you arrived on the dance floor, where you got in position. Tom placed his hand on your waist and took your right hand in his other one, holding both of them upright below shoulder height. All the guests had gathered around the floor, waiting for you to start dancing. Luckily there wasn’t enough time to get too nervous. It had all happened in a matter of moments.

“You know how to waltz, right?” Tom asked.

“It’s been a while, but-”

“Doesn’t matter, I’ll lead,” he said and took the first step, spinning in circles in three-four time.

Tom was a good dancer, which wasn’t surprising. He probably had taken courses some years ago, just like you, upon your parent’s request. You kept up with him quite well, only taking a wrong step every now and then.

“If I had known, I would’ve practised…”

“It’s alright, people will join in soon. You’re doing well,” he reassured you and lightly squeezed your waist.

The fact that you had never been so close to him for more than a few seconds became more apparent the longer he held onto you. Suddenly the spinning felt faster, all eyes focusing on you, burning holes right through you. The only thing steadying you was Tom and his hands. You spotted Camille in the crowd, who was smiling at you, holding up her hand and giving you a thumbs up. That made you feel a bit more at ease, so you let Tom lead you round the floor, twirling away from people’s stares. Finally, halfway through the song, pairs of people joined in and filled up the dance floor, leaving not much room to be glared at.

Tom looked at you, a proud smile adorning his face, his eyes softer than you had ever witnessed before.

“What’s that I’m seeing there?” you asked. “A genuine smile? Certainly a rare sight.”

He swallowed, not changing his expression. “Camille was right.”

“She usually is. But what do you mean?”

“Earlier, when we went up to them. She said you look beautiful. You do.”

People’s faces around you seemed to blur and you couldn’t hear them properly anymore. The only thing you saw was Tom’s face and how his eyes still stared into yours. It felt as if you weren’t dancing anymore, but rather floating above the ground, a swarm of butterflies emerging from your stomach. Your hand went from Tom’s shoulder behind his neck on its own and pulled him closer. Closer, just a tiny bit closer, so that you were able to view every single one of his eyelashes. His chest bumped against you and his cologne tickled your nose. You let yourself sink into the smell of bergamot and lemon, feeling how his hand squeezed your waist a bit tighter by the second.

Closer, until you both shut your eyes and your lips met in the middle, kissing Tom right out there on the dance floor. You were the only people who had stopped spinning, even though it still felt like you spiralled around a hundred miles an hour. Butterflies turned into aeroplanes, rotating and crashing gently against each other, just like the two of you.

Masterpost | Masterlist | Part 9

Tags: @ariachaos

57 notes · View notes

mariaofdoranelle · 5 months

Text

Mistletinder

Masterlist

Merry Christmas/Yulemas, @writtenonreceipts! I hope this fic finds you well. I was so happy when I got you in the draw because I admire you so much, and I hope you have as much fun reading your gift as I had writing it ❤️

@rowaelinscourt thank you for organizing the secret Santa!

Warnings: moderate alcohol intake

Words: 4,7k

“This is gonna bite you in the ass someday, you know?” Sellene reproached from behind the steering wheel. Her friend couldn’t see what Aelin was doing on her phone, but somehow she knew.

“Shh!” Aelin looked behind her to check on the girls, but they were still sound asleep. At the age of four, if they listened to any curse word, it’d be forever until they stopped repeating it over and over again. At least, from what she was told, the Whitethorn family was used to small children and their demands. It was the whole reason why she was spending Yulemas with them, after all.

Aelin and Maisie were on their own now, and when Sellene all but dragged them to her family’s farm because of all the kids and animals, it was hard to argue. After the year from hell they had, a nice Yulemas was the least she could do for Maisie.

“You’re avoiding the subject,” Sellene insisted.

“Yes. Because I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“But you sure seem to want to keep doing it, huh?”

When you’re broke after your divorce and your business isn’t thriving, ain’t it funny what you’ll do?

On one drunken night amidst her separation, Aelin downloaded Tinder and scheduled a date on the bookstore café she owned. But when she freaked out and canceled right after the guy—Archer—arrived, she could only watch from her mezzanine office, amazed, as he stuffed his face with baked goods and left with two books.

After that, luring people from Tinder into Fireheart Books & Cafe was just a small part of her marketing plan. And the most unethical one.

“It’s a lucrative strategy,” Aelin said, feeling defensive.

“That you don’t need anymore.” Sellene rolled her eyes. “Didn’t you just butcher the anthropology section to fit more tables?”

Yes. For the same reason Aelin added sidewalk dining tables. “Your point is?”

“Did you at least give someone a try while you’re at it?”

Once. Just one person that made her actually enjoy the execution of her plan, even extending it so she’d talk to him more before ghosting. Conversation flowed, and Aelin had already gone on some dates at that point after her separation, but she wasn’t naïve enough to think she’d find love on Tinder.

“That app is a lost cause, Sel.”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t find some good hot dates.” Her friend wiggled her eyebrows. “I know I did.”

Aelin managed to muffle her laughter with one hand so the two sleeping beauties on the back wouldn’t wake up. She brushed her daughter’s chestnut hair away from her face, watching the way she leaned on her friend during their nap. Maisie and Bree were thick as thieves in preschool and, as single moms, Aelin and Sellene would frequently help each other out.

Sellene has a hot date? Auntie Ae and Maisie will happily have Bree for a sleepover.

Aelin is busy at the book shop? Auntie Sel and Bree can drop Maisie there when school is over.

Sellene was godsend this year, and listening to her rant about her love life was just one of the fun perks of being so close to her. If the few dates Aelin went to this year actually happened, it was because her friend insisted.

“So, how’s that thing with Ilias again?” Aelin said, desperate to change the subject.

A groan. “You will not believe what he texted me this morning…”

Aelin let her friend go on about her situationship, a little relieved that she wasn’t the focus of the conversation anymore.

Truth was, she was a little anxious about this Yulemas. Sellene guaranteed that her family was too big for Aelin to intrude in something intimate, and the Whitethorns were properly notified about her stay, but that nagging feeling that her and Maisie were crashing the party wouldn’t go.

After they got to the farm, it was a while before they reached the house.

When Sellene told her about all the family traditions and how homey it was, Aelin expected an old farmhouse of sorts. To be honest, she didn’t think much about how the house would look, but she definitely wasn’t expecting a classic-looking manor with an exterior made of white stone.

A blonde woman showed up on the porch before Sel parked the car, then she ran inside and came back, tugging a man by the arm. By that time, they were already leaving the car with their bags, but the older couple still insisted on helping them.

Rory and Owen, her friend’s aunt and uncle, as they introduced themselves. Aelin’s introduction was brief, since Sellene filled her family in on who she was beforehand, but they still made small talk. Though she wasn’t paying much attention, too caught up on the similarity between Sellene and Owen. Her friend joked about some strong traits running in her family, but this was uncanny.

“Genetics, huh?” Sellene said, a teasing grin on her face.

Aelin was staring, wasn’t she? Oops. “Yes, genetics.” She turned to Owen. “I can’t believe you’re not even her father!”

Rory laughed and urged them inside. “Come on, darling, there’s a lot of silver hair and green eyes for you to compare.” She smirked before she added, “And if you happen to like it, my son is single. Thirty-one, stable job, goes to the gym a lot—“

“Auntie,” Sellene reproached.

The matron frowned. “I’m not being very smooth, am I?”

Her husband gave her two gentle taps on the shoulder. “You’re never smooth at matchmaking, darling.”

Rory gave Aelin an apologetic smile before continuing, “We’re stuck with some housework right now, but if you can wait—“

“I’ll show her around,” Sellene said, waving her aunt off.

“Alright, then. Pick any empty room you’d like.” Rory turned to Aelin. “You and your little one are the most welcome, make yourselves at home,” she said with a beam before scurrying away to the kitchen.

And about Aelin’s little one: where the hell was she?

Sellene leaned closer to Aelin and murmured, “But you can totally flirt with my cousins if you’d like. There’s a whole bunch of them for you to pick.”

“I don’t think I’ll have time for that, but thanks.” Not that she wants to, but it’ll become a hard no if she’ll have to wrangle Maisie all the time.

“I saw them coming inside.” Sellene tugged Aelin. “Don’t worry, she’s safe here.”

“Your house is not.” At least not with her four-year-old on the loose.

The two women dropped their bags by the entrance and ran around looking for them, calling their names. Aelin couldn’t register much other than white walls and wooden furniture, her mind filled with what could Maisie possibly break in this small time frame, and how much it costs.

Aelin’s worry was peaking when she listened to her daughter’s voice coming from another porch, this one attached to the living room.

"Do you do your tattoos alone, or does your mom help you too?"

The man blinked, confused, until Maisie showed him the few Barbie bubblegum tattoos on her forearm. She gave it a pointed look, then to the many tattoos he had on his left arm, taking most of the limb.

Aelin decided it was best to make herself known, introduce yourself, and see if this stranger needed rescuing from her curious preschooler. She couldn’t see this man’s face from her point-of-view, but she had an inkling of who he could be because of his—shocker—silver hair.

“Maisie!” She called from afar, “I was looking for—“

The words died in her throat when she recognized the man before her. Aelin’s core felt ice-cold all of a sudden, despite the dangerous pounding of her heart. There was no way in hell this was happening, and she blamed Tinder for not requiring users to use their last name there.

“Aelin.” He made a point of looking at his bare wrist, as if checking the time. “I think you’re a bit late for our date.”

˜˜

Upstairs, in the safety of her bedroom, Sellene had the gall to cackle.

Aelin glared at her. “Could you not?”

Before ten minutes ago, her friend was absolutely clueless to the fact that Aelin and Rowan knew each other, just like she had no clue that Sellene and Rowan are cousins. But it saved her, since the woman walked into that porch and spared Aelin from doing any talking.

“Alright, lemme just…” Sellene turned away, as if Aelin couldn’t see her friend’s shoulders shaking from behind. Then she took a deep breath and turned back around. “Alright.” A twitch on the corner of her lips that was quickly concealed. “But you said you liked him?”

“That’s not the point!” Aelin said, pacing in the empty space between the bed and the wall.

Chatting with Rowan was nice, and she may have indulged in conversation with him more than she usually lets herself, but Aelin felt so drained after her divorce. She let herself be dragged to dates sometimes, but she didn’t have it in herself to fully face the dating scene again.

Sellene rolled her eyes and threw herself on the bed. “That’s the key point, actually. It’ll define our entire course of action.”

“Nope. Our course of action is whatever protects Maisie from this mess.”

Aelin was so afraid of fucking up Maisie’s Yulemas when she got here, she didn’t realize she’d potentially fucked up even before arriving. Her throat felt thick just to think of it.

Sellene squeezed her hand. “He’s not gonna cause a scandal or anything, Rowan’s not like that.”

“He’s not going to tell your incredibly welcoming family that I’m actually a cold-hearted milf that stood him up and ghosted?”

“Okay,” Sel trailed, grimacing. “He’s not like that, but he is a bit of a gossip, so…”

Aelin sat on the edge of the bed and groaned, her face resting in both hands. Whether he had a big mouth or not, she needed to fix this. Because she couldn’t put Maisie’s Yulemas in jeopardy, yes, but also because Rowan deserves an apology.

Truth is, Aelin never felt tempted to give a chance to the guys she chatted with, because everyone she met on Tinder could be classified as one of: a chronic manwhore, overall gross, or gross for a single but relevant reason, or a misogynist bigot. And sometimes she even liked to leave them stranded, especially when they fell into the latter category.

Usually, Aelin just acted flirty enough to let the guy think something other than coffee would happen, that way he’d run to their ‘date’ without wasting more of their time.

But there were exceptions, of course, and Rowan was one of them. He wasn’t exactly chatty, but she still found herself texting him back and forth late at night for almost two weeks. When he oh-so-gently requested to meet her in person after dropping some hints about it here and there to no avail, she knew she had to cut this short.

It was just business, or so she told herself when it was time to cancel the plans that were never bound to happen. Aelin didn’t have space in her life for much else.

But now the girls, Rowan and a few other Whitethorns were off to see the baby goats and some other kid-friendly farm animals, which gave Aelin a small time frame to plan her next move.

Sellene got up from her bed, nothing but determination on her face. “Here’s what we’re gonna do: we’ll wait downstairs. When they come back, I’ll keep an eye on Maisie while you scurry him away to apologize.”

This was the lamest plan Aelin has ever gotten into. “I expected better scheming from you.”

“No scheming this time,” her friend warned, “just tell him the truth.”

And that was what Aelin kept in mind, as she waited with Sel in the kitchen under the disguise of chatting with Rory.

The kids barreled into the room a while later, chatting about the farm animals they saw, petted, or even fed. Rowan lingered on the other side of the kitchen, carefully avoiding Aelin’s eyes while he rectified the little one’s exaggerated stories with things like actually, no goat charged at them, they just wail all the time.

Despite the high excitement, Maisie’s attention drifted when she noticed the batch of gingerbread men coming off the oven.

“My grandma makes gingerbread people too,” she said to Rory, then frowned. “Do you know my grandma?”

Aelin’s heart squeezed at the sight. She was hoping to keep Maisie’s mind off her father’s family these holidays.

“I’m afraid not, honey. Is she from Doranelle too?”

“No, she lives very, very, very far. I need to get on a plane to see her.”

“That’s very far indeed.” Rory chuckled. “What’s she doing this year?”

Maisie shrugged. “I don’t know. I can’t have Yulemas with Daddy this year because he’s stuck in prison.”

The room fell silent, all eyes on her little girl’s outcast expression as Aelin’s face grew impossibly hot. Gods, her daughter sure had a way with words.

“Because he’s a prison psychologist,” Aelin amended, to everyone’s relief, by the way their shoulders collectively relaxed.

Chaol wasn’t seeing his daughter these holidays because he was too busy in the Southern Continent with his girlfriend—former mistress—but there was no way Aelin was telling her little girl that. Work was the go-to excuse to why he missed so many bi-monthly visitations, and it worked for Yulemas too.

One day, Maisie would understand that Aelin has been a single mom since long before her divorce. That didn’t mean she wouldn’t try to postpone said realization for as long as she could.

“Oh, how silly of me! I forgot to get rosemary.” Rory changed the subject when silence reigned, thank Mala. The time when Chaol was a touchy subject was long gone, but people still tiptoed around it with her.

The woman continued, “Aelin, darling, could you get me some, please?”

“Sure…” she trailed, looking around. “Where can I—“

“Rowan will show you the garden,” Rory quipped.

And Aelin thought that getting him alone for a moment would be tricky. Clearly, she underestimated his mother.

Rowan glared at the older woman, but she didn’t waver. Instead, the more that odd exchange lasted, the more Rory seemed to enjoy forcing her son to spend time with someone he clearly didn’t want around.

Fuck, Aelin needed to fix this immediately.

He gestured to the open back door in the kitchen, and led her to a kitchen garden close to the house.

Sunshine glanced off the leaves which vegetables, herbs and fruit grew, and Aelin wished she could enjoy its beauty more. The smell of fresh herbs and sound of the leaves shuddering were the only soothing things, given the conversation she had ahead.

She waited for him to make a start, to no avail. Perhaps he did, earlier today when she first saw him, right before Sellene walked in and they pretended that first exchange didn’t happen.

“I’m sorry.”

Rowan’s step faltered for a second. He gave her a curt nod, and continued his stroll towards the rosemary shrubs.

She continued, “I shouldn’t have stood you up, it was really shitty of me and I totally deserve it if you hate me right now.” A pause. “But I was hoping we could put this aside for Yulemas, you know? Being in the same house and all.”

“Alright,” he said while slowly nodding, and Aelin’s shoulders loosened up with relief for a moment, until he finally looked her in the eye and added, “I'll go easy on you if you tell me what happened.”

“I told you, I’ve been having a hard time dating after my—“

“Yeah, you told me that in your apology text, but I feel like there’s something missing.”

He got her there. It was true, but not the ugly truth.

“Remember the shop I asked you to meet me at?”

He nodded.

“I own it. And my Tinder account is strictly for… cash inflow.”

This time, he fully stopped. He studied Aelin with widened eyes, and after judging the seriousness in her expression, he laughed. It was loud and full, overpowering the gentle flutter of the leaves and birds’ wings around them.

He kneeled by the shrub, snapped a few branches with his fingers, and it was just then that Aelin realized they had already arrived at their destination.

“You’re not mad?”

Rowan shrugged, and she wanted to read his expression so bad, but he had his back to her, still working on his mother’s rosemary. “I guess should be mad. I’m definitely impressed. It’s a very clever move.”

Aelin didn’t know if she should thank him or not. “But are we cool?”

He chuckled, something more amicable in his eyes this time, when he turned around. “Yes, sure. It was just online dating. Do you know how often people get ghosted? I wasn’t gonna start a riot because of that.”

“‘Kay, thanks.” He was being such a nice sport, his forgiveness only worsened the guilt she felt. “And though you’re right about that, I’d be totally mad and petty if someone stood me up. Just saying.”

“I wasn’t mad that you stood me up—“

Aelin sent him a cut-the-bullshit look.

He sighed and continued, “Alright, I was upset. Not mad. What actually made me mad is that you ghosted me after that.”

She stopped mid-stride, her head tilted. This made absolutely no sense. Rowan broke eye contact to rearrange the branches inside the small bag, making his fingers busy for a small moment of awkward silence that lasted a lifetime in Aelin’s head.

“I liked you, Aelin. You didn’t have to do that for me to visit your coffee shop.”

Aelin didn’t want to think about why his words stung, but they did.

˜˜

Engaging in conversation at dinner would be a lot easier if Maisie was eating, not showing Bree magic tricks.

She placed a french fry on the table, between her and her friend. “Now close your eyes,” Maisie commanded. When her friend complied, she shoved the fry in her mouth and said, “Ta-da!”

Bree opened her eyes, and the loud gasp she let out after noticing the fry was gone gave Aelin a good chuckle.

“Do it again!” Sellene’s daughter said, clapping her hands.

“Maybe you could do it with the cucumber this time?” Aelin cut in.

Maisie turned to her mother with all seriousness a four-year-old can muster. “Mommy, it’s Friday. We only eat fries.”

Being the little entertainer she is, the people near Maisie laughed, not for the first time this dinner. Including Rowan, who sat next to Sellene, almost in front of her. It was weird, hearing his laughter instead of reading a “haha”. A good weird. Still weird. For Mala’s sake, she needs to sort her feelings out.

“You are such a silly goose,” her friend said, fondness filling her eyes.

“No, Auntie Sel, you are a silly goose. I’m a silly gosling.” The little girl took her time pronouncing each syllable of the last word, careful to get it right.

Aelin’s mouth was ajar as she stared at her. “Where did you learn that?”

“Wowan.” Maisie said, beaming. “We’re bestest friends now because he’s an animal doctor, and he promised to show me all his animal friends so I can be friends with them too.”

“Is that so?” Aelin plastered on a smile, hoping it wasn’t too strained. It didn’t go unnoticed that he was nice enough to Maisie for her to consider him her new ‘bestest friend’, even before Aelin apologized. Fuck, she needed to unpack this later.

When she dared a glance at Rowan, he looked a little stiff, but still gave her a quick, close-lipped smile. “She likes the baby goats.”

Aelin would know. Maisie talked about them all day.

“Wowan, I’ll do a magic trick.”

He turned his full attention towards Maisie.

She continued, “Did you see me do it before?”

“Yes.”

“Try to forget.”

“I can’t do it, Maisie, I saw you do that trick too many times.” He leaned back on his chair, a lazy smirk on. “But I haven’t seen you make the cucumber disappear.”

She jolted on her seat, put a cucumber slice on the table, pointed a finger at Rowan and yelled, “Close your eyes!”

When he complied, Maisie ate that cucumber with a ferocity Aelin had never seen before.

“Dear Mala,” Rowan said when he opened his eyes, feigning shock. “Do it again.”

And that’s how he convinced her to eat every single vegetable on her plate. Fuck, he sure knows how to woo a single mom.

Not woo, Aelin chastised herself. Rowan said he liked her. In the past tense. Which should be a relief, but this wasn’t how she felt as she watched him smile at her daughter and make her have fun while eating healthy.

Rowan stole a glance at her, but Aelin had her eyes on him already. He swallowed, likely unsure of what to do after being caught staring while she was already staring.

Thank you, she mouthed so Maisie wouldn’t hear. To her surprise, his eyes softened, and he gave her a small smile.

Relief finally washed over her, when Aelin realized that the awkwardness in his expression had vanished.

˜˜

As predicted, Maisie was so hyper Aelin didn’t manage to properly enjoy the farm herself. But she didn’t mind it, since her daughter was the whole purpose of this trip. Besides, sometimes watching the kids play could be better than TV.

“I wanted to go out to eat with you, not you and your baby!” Maisie’s arms flailed around as she tried to explain her frustration.

Bree clutched her doll to her chest, a wounded look on her face. “But I can’t leave my baby alone!”

Rowan, who was just passing by the living room, froze when he registered what was going on. He turned to Aelin, confusion written all over his face, and discreetly sat by her side on the couch.

“Everything alright?”

Aelin pointed at the tea party toy set near the girls. “They’re at a pretend restaurant, eating pretend food and talking about their pretend jobs.” A pause so she wouldn’t start laughing here and there. “Maisie was expecting a girls’ night, but Bree brought her baby with her.”

“Oh, I see.” Aelin’s gaze swept over him for a minute, and it was unfair how good his pine-green eyes looked when they were filled with amusement like this. “Whose side are you on?”

“I’m getting popcorn. You?”

“I don’t know,” he murmured, “I think this is a very complex issue. We can’t read it under a Manichaean view.”

Aelin chuckled, and they fell into comfortable silence while watching the girls. Rowan’s pine scent hit her senses, but it was the chilly wind coming from the window that made her shiver.

“You cold?”

She shrugged. “Not that much.”

Rowan stood up. “I’ll warm us up.”

“You’re getting a blanket?”

“Better,” Rowan said, a troublesome glint in his eyes. “Wine.”

Not as effective as a blanket, but definitely more fun.

“Merlot?” He suggested with his head tilted.

Unbelievable. Aelin briefly mentioned her favorite type of wine to this man over text in a late night conversation, and he still remembered it weeks later.

Rowan seemed to misread her silence, his expression becoming guarded. “But I can share the bottle with Enda if you don’t feel like it.”

Aelin’s gaze quickly turned to her daughter before she focused back on him. “Can it wait until after Maisie’s bedtime?”

Rowan took a step back with a grin on, and his eyes wouldn’t leave Aelin. “I’ll get the snacks ready.”

After wrangling Maisie around the house a little more and putting her to bed, Aelin found herself in the same living room as before. However, this time, the tea party set on the table was replaced by a small charcuterie board and two glasses of red wine.

They talked about their lives for hours. Now it was nearing midnight, and none of them seemed to grow tired of each other’s companies. It was just easy like that with him, and she knew it. Too easy, was what Aelin told herself in her office as she let him down. Too easy to be true, and not the delusion of a lonely twenty-nine-year-old divorcée.

Aelin had so many reasons why she couldn’t give Rowan a real chance, but she couldn’t remember a single one of them right now. Actually, she could remember, they just felt… small.

Too bad she was too late.

“And you never thought to move back here? Being a vet and all?”

Rowan sipped his wine. “I’ve lived in the city since I was a teenager, my whole life’s there. But I visit a lot.”

“And your cousins?”

“Not as much, but Yulemas is always here.” He cocked his head, his expression shifting as he grinned at her. “Though the company is usually much less good-looking.”

Aelin blinked. She stared at the glass of wine. It was her second, and Aelin knew her limits. She wasn’t even tipsy. It couldn’t be.

“Rowan Whitethorn… are you flirting with me?”

“Yes, I’ve been trying for a while.” A pause. “Is it working?”

Wow. She looked around, mind racing and empty at the same time. A turned-off TV. Potted plants with fairy lights on. A mistletoe. Gifts under a tree.

Rowan was flirting with her.

Rowan, Maisie’s new “bestest friend”. Kind, attentive Rowan who remembered her favorite wine and looked as delicious as the Focaccia bread he stole from the kitchen for her.

Rowan, who seemed to give her a second chance even when she didn’t deserve it.

“It’s working, yeah.”

He didn’t dare say a word after her response, and neither did she. He leaned forward, barely blinking as he tried to meet her eye.

Aelin needed to say something. She wanted to say something else, but it was hard to do it while she felt her old resolutions shatter like a wall of glass.

Going on shitty date after shitty date so she could find someone reasonably good, until something happened and she had to go back to the stream of shitty dates? No, meeting new people was a hard no for now.

But it was different when she had already met someone, right? Aelin wasn’t ready to give dating a chance, but she was more than willing to give Rowan a chance.

She got up and tugged Rowan’s hand.

“What?”

Aelin tugged on it again, so he got up from the couch too. Wordlessly, she led him to a spot right under the beam that divided the living room and the hallway.

She pointed at the mistletoe above them. “Oh, look.”

“Wow.”

“I definitely didn’t see that and drag you here.”

“And my mother definitely didn’t fill the house with mistletoes tonight because she’s in love with you and Maisie.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed,” she lied.

“So surprising.”

“Shocking.”

“Can I kiss you now?”

“Absolu—”

Rowan pulled their lips together, cupping her face with both hands while she wrapped her arms around him. Their lips brushed together, and it was almost unfair how soft he felt. He gently nipped hers so Aelin would open up to him, and the kiss was sweet and hungry at the same time. His hands traveled down her neck and arms, making her shiver, until he reached her waist and tugged her closer.

Well, fuck. If Aelin didn’t have any doubts about giving this a chance anymore, she didn’t know what to call it now. A negative amount of doubts? Anyway, her mind was jello. Aelin couldn’t know where this was going, but she knew she’d let it happen now. No more holding back.

Rowan broke the kiss and put their foreheads together, breathlessly breathing her in with closed eyes.

“If I ask you out on another date, will you show up this time?”

“Yes,” Aelin said, right before her parted lips morphed into a teasing smirk. “And I might even delete Tinder, depending on how large your coffee order is.”

You can get notified when I update by either turning notifications on for @backtobl4ck-fics or entering my (sometimes glitchy) tag list!!

TAG LIST

I couldn’t tag the people in bold, sorry!

@aelinchocolatelover

@autumnbabylon

@bookcide

@booksandteaonarainydayislife

@cookiemonsterwholovesbooks

@courtofjurdan

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#rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #throne of glass #rowaelin fanfiction #rowan x aelin #aelin ashryver galathynius #aelin x rowan #rowaelin fanfic #throne of glass fanfic #oneshot

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snaillock · 9 months

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your relationship with bllk men as mitski songs

(kaiser, sae, oliver)

my posting has been very slow recently so to celebrate mitskis new album (and to feed into my eternal obsession for her music and lyricism by combining it with another thing im way too obsessed with), i dug up this old ass draft and finished it instead of giving y’all an actual fic

tags: gn!reader, angst(it’s mitski duh), yeah basically no fluff/comfort in here, suggestive-ish in the oliver one, me being a dork and combining two big interests of mine

michael kaiser - i don’t smoke

So if you need to be mean Be mean to me I can take it and put it inside of me If your hands need to break More than trinkets in your room You can lean on my arm As you break my heart

his career can be a lot on his shoulders at times even with the cocky and arrogant facade he puts on for the performance of each match he plays. he has a tendency to keep it all in to bask in the glory of his luxurious life.

you understand. you know he’s currently too prideful to deal with his true feelings, especially all on his own. you just want to be there to know he isn’t alone and that he can be open with you. so you sit there, giving him a listening ear as he lashes out and releases every awful word in the book towards you when everything finally becomes too much for him to bear. you wouldn’t want him to have a very public meltdown when it happens so it’s better this way. you have remind yourself to take none of it to heart because he doesn’t mean those all harsh words. he just needed an outlet for those frustrations.

you also don’t want the weight and significance of his career to separate you two. you’re already so damn lucky to be with someone like him. you want to prove that you can handle it. you know you can. you’re sure you can help him figure this all out somehow. love just takes compassion and patience, that’s all it is. just taking it one step at a time.

it’s just compassion and patience. right?

Just don't leave me alone Wondering where you are I am stronger than you give me credit for

sae itoshi - i want you

You're coming back And it's the end of the world We're starting over and I love you darlin' And I am done, dear

he swears he will make time for you someday. sure those words have been promised over and over again like a broken record but he truly does love you. however you’re starting to wonder if mutual love is truly enough to keep you two going.

the truth is his life is currently too big and important for him to take any focus away from it. the last thing he needs is a distraction. all of which he has very clear multiple times, even along with his contrastingly hopeful promises. though his tone is quite neutral, never letting his emotions seep through as if he’s programmed to do so. meanwhile you have to desperately hold yours back to not seem like an idiot.

it’s never been easy to express how you feel in front of him. you desperately wish you could but the inconsistency of your relationship that’s barely holding up renders it pointless. this over and over/back and forth thing that’s going on between you two is exhausting. it only leaves you lost and confused. you begin to wonder if staying is even worth it at all. even with the speck of hope that it could eventually work out. even if you love him.

You're in the house And I am here in the car I just need a quiet place Where I can scream how I love you

oliver aiku - eric

You like control, well, I do too Take off my clothes and watch me move You can come closer, I'll let you hurt me how you choose

you deeply crave a loving and fulfilling connection with another but unfortunately the other you desire is him. a guy who’s born to be a player and only wants to fool around with multiple people.

you know getting attached would only cause you so much unnecessary pain but your naive heart couldn’t resist him. you know that he doesn’t see you for more than what you give him at night but you were still a fool to fall for him.

enough of a fool to fall for him knowing he’s not ready to settle for one person. you could see it from how you would lovingly gaze at him while he leers at someone else behind you. you would still give yourself up to him if you could, offering anything he wanted out of you.

despite better judgment, you stay with a pained and aching heart. constantly yearning for more.

But how long, how long can we play this way? I'm tired, I'm tired of not loving you My heart, my heart wants to hold you But I know, I know, I know the rules

taglist(lemme know if you wanna be added): @userwithlotsoftime @lucas2060

#★ snail.writes ★#it was so damn difficult picking between a loving feeling or eric for olivers part #blue lock #blue lock angst #blue lock x reader #michael kaiser #kaiser x reader #sae itoshi #sae x reader #sae itoshi x reader #oliver aiku #oliver aiku x reader #literally didn’t let myself sleep on a school night until i finished this #mitski posting

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rvp32 · 1 year

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"Will we only ever be friends?"

Another random fluff fic, I wrote this out of boredom but also because I love this outfit for her, she looks perfect here. Not proofread at all, and may contain a lot of grammatical errors and maybe even plot holes. As always please let me know what you guys think and any feedback is appreciated.

You and Chaewon have been best friends since kindergarten. You grew up together in the same neighborhood, went to the same school, and did everything together. You played video games, did homework, and had sleepovers. You always thought of Chaewon as just your friend, but as you got older, you started to see her differently.

Chaewon had a passion for singing that you admired. She spent hours practicing and writing her own songs. She performed at local talent shows and even won a few. When she auditioned for the famous music company, HYBE, you were so proud of her for being accepted.

You knew that being a trainee at HYBE would be tough. Chaewon had to wake up early every morning to attend classes and rehearsals. She had to follow a strict diet and exercise regime, and she barely had any free time. But even with all of that, Chaewon remained determined and never complained.

As Chaewon got more and more successful, you started to feel a different kind of emotion towards her. You realized that you were in love with her. But you knew that telling her would only complicate things. You didn't want to hinder her career or make things awkward between you. So, you kept your feelings to yourself and continued to support her from the sidelines.

It wasn't always easy to hide your feelings, especially when Chaewon would tell you about the guys she was interested in. But you smiled and nodded, never letting on that it hurt to hear her talk about someone else.

Despite your inner turmoil, you were always there for her. You would attend all of her performances, cheering her on from the audience. You would listen to her new songs, offering feedback and encouragement. You were her rock, her confidante, her best friend.

Over the years, Chaewon had become a rising star in the music industry. She had released several albums, won multiple awards, and had a huge fan base. You were amazed by her talent and success, but you couldn't help feeling a twinge of jealousy whenever you saw her with someone else.

Chaewon never seemed to notice your true feelings, and you were content to keep it that way. You didn't want to risk losing her friendship or damaging her career. So, you continued to hide your love for her, burying it deep inside and hoping that it would eventually fade away.

But as time went on, your feelings for Chaewon only grew stronger. You found yourself thinking about her all the time, wondering what it would be like to be more than just friends. You knew that you couldn't keep pretending forever, but you didn't know how to tell her the truth.

And so, you remained in limbo, stuck between your love for Chaewon and your desire to see her succeed. You knew that eventually, you would have to make a choice. But for now, you simply held onto the hope that someday, somehow, things would work out in your favor.

Despite your best efforts to hide your true feelings, Chaewon had started to notice something was different about you. You were more hesitant around her, and sometimes you seemed lost in thought. But she had no idea that you were in love with her.

One day, Chaewon invited you over to her apartment to listen to some of her new songs. As you sat on her couch, listening to her sing, you couldn't help but feel a surge of emotion. You wanted to tell her how you felt, but you were too scared.

Finally, Chaewon turned to you and said, "Why are you so dense? Can't you see that I've been dropping hints for years?"

You looked at her, shocked. "What hints?"

Chaewon rolled her eyes. "I've been flirting with you, idiot. I've been waiting for you to make a move, but you never did. I thought you weren't interested."

You felt a wave of regret wash over you. You had missed all of Chaewon's signals because you were too focused on hiding your own feelings. Now, it seemed like it was too late.

"I'm sorry," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "I didn't realize."

Chaewon sighed. "Look, it's okay. I just wish you had been honest with me. I could have saved us both a lot of time."

You nodded, feeling ashamed. You knew that you had let your fear hold you back, and now you were paying the price.

Chaewon looked at you, her expression softening. "But that doesn't mean we can't be together. I've always had feelings for you, too. I was just too scared to admit it."

Your heart leapt at her words. "Really?"

Chaewon nodded, a smile playing at the corners of her mouth. "Really. So, what do you say? Are you ready to take a chance on us?"

You grinned, feeling a weight lifted off your shoulders. "Yes, I am."

As Chaewon's lips met yours, you felt a surge of passion that had been building up inside of you for years. You kissed her back fiercely, your arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her closer to you.

The kiss was intense, filled with all of the pent-up desire and longing that had been building between you for so long. You could feel Chaewon's hands tangle in your hair, pulling you closer to her as she deepened the kiss.

In that moment, nothing else mattered but the two of you. You were lost in each other, caught up in a whirlwind of emotion that had been brewing beneath the surface for years.

When you finally broke the kiss, you were both breathless and flushed. Chaewon looked at you, her eyes shining with a newfound intensity.

"I've waited so long for this," she said, her voice low and husky.

You smiled, feeling a sense of possessiveness wash over you. You knew that Chaewon was yours now, and you would do anything to keep her by your side.

"I won't ever let you go," you said, your voice firm.

Chaewon's eyes widened, a look of surprise crossing her face. But then she smiled, leaning in to kiss you once again.

"I don't want you to," she murmured against your lips.

And so, you and Chaewon began a passionate, intense love affair that consumed your every thought and action. You were both possessive of each other, never wanting to be apart for even a moment.

********

It wasn't always easy, navigating the challenges that came with being in such a public and high-pressure industry. But you and Chaewon were in it together, supporting each other every step of the way.

As the months turned into years, your love for each other only grew stronger. You knew that Chaewon was the only person who could ever truly understand you, the only one who could calm your fears and make you feel complete.

And as you looked into her eyes, you knew that you would do anything to protect her and keep her by your side. Because in a world that was often chaotic and uncertain, Chaewon was the one constant that you could always count on.

Despite the intense love and passion that you shared with Chaewon, your relationship was not without its challenges. As your careers continued to thrive, the pressure and scrutiny from the public and media only increased.

You found yourselves constantly hounded by paparazzi, and rumors about your relationship were rampant. There were times when you felt like you couldn't even go out in public without being harassed or scrutinized.

As the pressure mounted, cracks began to appear in your relationship. You started to argue more frequently, and there were times when Chaewon seemed distant and unresponsive.

You tried to talk to her about it, but she always seemed to brush it off. "It's just the stress getting to me," she would say. "Don't worry about it."

But you couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. And then, one day, Chaewon dropped a bombshell on you.

"I think we need to take a break," she said, her voice soft.

You felt like the wind had been knocked out of you. "What? Why?"

Chaewon sighed, looking away. "I just need some space, okay? I can't handle all of this pressure and stress. It's too much."

You felt your heart breaking in your chest. You knew that Chaewon was struggling, but you didn't want to lose her. You loved her too much.

"We can work through this together," you said, your voice pleading.

Chaewon shook her head. "I don't know, I just need some time to figure things out."

And with that, she left, leaving you alone and heartbroken.

For weeks, you tried to give Chaewon space, but it felt like an eternity. You missed her every moment of every day, and you couldn't bear the thought of losing her.

Finally, you decided to take matters into your own hands. You showed up at her apartment, determined to talk things out.

But when you arrived, you found Chaewon with another man. They were laughing and talking, and Chaewon seemed completely at ease.

You felt a surge of anger and jealousy that you couldn't control. How could she move on so quickly?

"Who is this?" you demanded, your voice tight.

Chaewon looked up, surprised to see you there. "Y/N, what are you doing here?"

You ignored her question, instead turning to the man. "Who are you?"

The man looked uncomfortable. "I'm just a friend. Chaewon and I were hanging out."

You didn't believe him. You could feel the possessive urge rising inside of you, the need to protect what was yours.

"I think it's time for you to leave," you said, your voice cold.

The man hesitated, but Chaewon spoke up. "It's okay, he's leaving. Y/N, can we talk?"

You nodded, but the anger inside of you was still simmering. How could she do this to you?

As you sat down to talk with Chaewon, the tension between you was palpable. You tried to keep your emotions in check, but it was hard. You felt like your heart had been ripped out of your chest.

Finally, Chaewon spoke. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I didn't mean for things to end up like this. But I can't keep living like this. The pressure, the stress, it's too much. I need to take a step back and figure out what I want."

You felt tears prickling at the corners of your eyes. "What do you want?"

Chaewon looked away. "I don't know. But I do know that I can't keep pretending like everything is okay.

You felt a deep sadness and pain settle in your chest. You had never imagined that things would end up like this. You had always thought that you and Chaewon were meant to be together forever.

But now, it seemed like everything was falling apart. The love and passion that had once burned so brightly between you had faded, replaced by uncertainty and doubt.

"I just wish things could go back to the way they were," you said, your voice cracking with emotion.

Chaewon reached out and took your hand. "I know, Y/N. But we can't force things to be the way they used to be. Sometimes, we have to let go and trust that things will work out in the end."

You didn't want to let go. You couldn't imagine your life without Chaewon in it. But you knew that she was right. You couldn't force her to stay with you if she didn't want to.

The days and weeks that followed were some of the hardest of your life. You tried to keep busy, throwing yourself into your work and your hobbies. But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing.

You missed Chaewon more than anything. You missed the way she laughed, the way she looked at you with those big brown eyes, the way she made you feel like you were the only person in the world that mattered.

But as time went on, you started to come to terms with the fact that things might never be the same between you and Chaewon. You knew that you had to move on, even if it felt like an impossible task.

And so, you started to go out and meet new people. You went on dates, but none of them felt right. None of them made you feel the way that Chaewon had made you feel.

As the months passed, you slowly started to heal. The pain and sadness that had once consumed you began to fade, replaced by a sense of acceptance and understanding.

But even though you had moved on, there was always a part of you that would love Chaewon. A part of you that would always wonder what could have been, if things had turned out differently.

And so, you went on with your life, never forgetting the love and passion that you had shared with Chaewon. Even though you knew that it was over, you couldn't help but wonder if, somewhere out there, Chaewon was thinking of you too.

Despite the time that had passed, Chaewon still thought about Y/N constantly. She tried to move on, going on dates and even starting a new relationship, but she couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing.

It wasn't until one day, when she ran into Y/N unexpectedly, that she realized what that missing piece was. Seeing him again brought back a flood of memories and emotions that she had tried so hard to forget.

"Y/N, wait!" she called out, running after him.

He turned around, surprised to see her. "Chaewon? What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you," she said, her voice urgent.

Y/N hesitated, but eventually agreed to sit down and talk with her.

"I know that I hurt you when I left," Chaewon began, her eyes filling with tears. "But I've been so miserable without you. I thought that I could move on and find someone else, but no one compares to you. I miss you so much, Y/N."

Y/N listened, his heart breaking at the sight of Chaewon's tears. He had never stopped loving her, but he had tried to move on, thinking that it was what was best for both of them.

"I can't just go back to the way things were," he said, his voice filled with sadness. "I don't want to risk hurting you again."

"But I need you, Y/N," Chaewon pleaded. "I can't live without you. I know that I made a mistake, but please, can't we try again?"

Y/N hesitated, unsure of what to do. He still loved Chaewon, but he couldn't forget the pain and sadness that he had felt when she had left him.

"I need some time to think," he said finally, standing up from the bench. "I'm sorry, Chaewon."

Chaewon watched as Y/N walked away, her heart aching with sadness and regret. She knew that she had hurt him deeply, and she didn't know if she could ever make it right.

But she was willing to try. She was willing to do whatever it took to win back Y/N's love and trust, even if it meant facing the pain and sadness that she had caused him.

And so, she waited, hoping and praying that Y/N would give her another chance.

Days turned into weeks, and Chaewon heard nothing from Y/N. She tried calling and texting him, but he didn't answer. She started to feel like she had lost him forever, and the thought of that made her heart ache.

One day, she was sitting in a coffee shop, lost in thought, when she saw Y/N walk in. Her heart leapt in her chest, and she stood up, hoping to talk to him.

But as he approached her, she could see the anger and hurt in his eyes. "How could you do this to me, Chaewon?" he said, his voice laced with anger.

Chaewon felt her own tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I never meant to hurt you."

"You left me without a word," Y/N said, his voice shaking with emotion. "You didn't even give me a chance to understand. And now you expect me to just forgive you?"

"I know that I messed up," Chaewon said, tears streaming down her face. "But please, Y/N, I need you. I love you so much, and I can't live without you."

Y/N looked at her, his anger slowly dissipating. He still loved her, but he couldn't forget the pain that she had caused him. "I need time," he said, his voice softer now. "I can't just forget everything that's happened."

Chaewon nodded, tears still streaming down her face. "I understand," she said. "I'll wait for you, Y/N. I'll do whatever it takes to make things right between us."

And so, Chaewon waited, hoping and praying that Y/N would find it in his heart to forgive her. She knew that it wouldn't be easy, but she was willing to do whatever it took to make things right.

Days turned into weeks, and Chaewon heard nothing from Y/N. She started to feel like he would never forgive her, and the thought of that made her heart ache even more.

One day, she received a letter in the mail from Y/N. As she read it, tears streamed down her face. In the letter, Y/N told her that he still loved her, but that he needed time to heal. He said that he was willing to give their relationship another chance, but that they needed to start over and rebuild the trust that had been broken.

Chaewon cried tears of joy as she read the letter. She knew that it wouldn't be easy, but she was willing to do whatever it took to make things right between them.

And so, they began the long and difficult journey of rebuilding their relationship. There were times when it was painful and sad, but they never gave up. They talked and listened to each other, and slowly but surely, they started to trust each other again.

Years went by, and Y/N had become a successful businessman. He had worked tirelessly to build his company, and now it was one of the most respected businesses in the country.

One day, Y/N went to visit Chaewon. She was surprised to see how successful he had become, but also proud of him. As they talked, Y/N took her hand and looked into her eyes.

"Chaewon, I know I've been distant lately," he said. "But there's something I need to ask you."

Chaewon's heart started to race. She had been waiting for this moment for years. "What is it, Y/N?" she asked.

Y/N took a deep breath. "Chaewon, I love you. I've always loved you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"

Chaewon's eyes widened in surprise and joy. She couldn't believe that Y/N was asking her to marry him after all these years. "Yes, Y/N, I will," she said, tears streaming down her face.

Y/N pulled her into his arms, and they hugged each other tightly. Chaewon could feel his love and passion for her, and it filled her with happiness.

But as they broke the hug, Chaewon couldn't help but ask him, "Why did you wait so long, Y/N?"

Y/N looked at her with a determined expression. "I needed to become someone who can protect you," he said. "I needed to be successful, so that I could give you the life you deserve. And now, I can finally do that."

Chaewon looked at him with love and admiration. She knew that Y/N had always been the one for her, and she was grateful that he had never given up on her.

As they started to plan their wedding, Chaewon couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness and regret. She knew that she had caused Y/N so much pain and hurt over the years, and she wished that she had realized her feelings for him sooner.

But as they stood together, holding each other tightly, Chaewon knew that she had finally found her true love. And she was willing to do whatever it took to make sure that they would never be apart again.

As the day of their wedding arrived, Chaewon could hardly contain her excitement. She stood at the altar, wearing a beautiful white gown, and waited for Y/N to arrive.

As he entered the church, Chaewon's heart skipped a beat. Y/N looked handsome and confident in his suit, and he was beaming with happiness.

As they exchanged their vows, Chaewon felt overwhelmed with emotion. She looked into Y/N's eyes and saw nothing but love and devotion. She knew that she had made the right choice in waiting for him.

As they exchanged their rings and kissed, the whole church erupted in applause. Chaewon felt like she was on top of the world, and she knew that Y/N felt the same.

As they left the church and drove away in their car, Chaewon couldn't stop smiling. She felt like the luckiest woman in the world, and she knew that Y/N felt the same way.

Years went by, and Chaewon and Y/N continued to build their life together. They faced challenges and difficulties, but they never gave up on each other. They had a love that was strong and true, and it carried them through even the toughest times.

And as they grew old together, they knew that they had made the right choice in waiting for each other. They had found their soulmate, and they were grateful every day for the love and passion that they shared.

#kim chaewon #le sserafim #izone chaewon #angst

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scumbagjaeger · 1 year

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what do you think the AOT guys would major in college?

COLLEGE MAJORS WITH THE SNK MEN

starring: Eren, Jean, Armin, Connie, Porco, Reiner, Levi, Zeke

rating: sfw!

notes: Thanks so much for the ask! I really appreciate your support(: I actually plan on doing a college series with each of the snk men having individual sets of drabbles, so this goes along perfectly with that!

EREN:

- I’m going to say Computer Science SOLEY because my Com Sci friends always seem to hang out on campus?

- Like not even in class, idk why but Eren’s just constantly there??

- Hanging out in the cafe, lounging around the courtyard, bowling in the recreation room, etc. No one’s ever heard him say “I gotta go to class”

- The man acts as if he doesn’t have a class to go to

- Most of his work is actually just completed at night anyway, when he’s not out at parties or with friends he stays up all night doing his homework

- Doesn’t really talk much about his classes but he probably does really well in them actually

- He probably doesn’t have too many Com Sci friends because he’s a bit intimidating in class? Hood up and headphones usually in or around his neck?

- But somehow he’s a social butterfly outside of his major, knows someone from every single one of your classes somehow

- I feel like freshman year he probably went overboard with parties? By the time he’s a junior he probably eases up on them, opting to stay up late doing his classwork last minute

- He might work at the campus tech office helping repair laptops for students! It’s better than working at a coffee shop in his opinion

- Probably plays intramural sports like soccer? Volleyball? Just for fun, probably decent at most group sports

- “Just for fun” but gets mad at his friends when they don’t attend his games “Eren I had an EXAM” “Don’t care, you should have rescheduled”

JEAN:

- My college headcanons for Jean are lowkey inspired by this annoying kid from high school who grew up and became hot? We had a love hate thing for a while😌

- So I’m going to say Poli-Sci just for that? But also I think it would actually fit Jean a lot

- He wants to see change in the world and he won’t have much patience for hypocrisy or overall assholes

- “Oh you don’t like (political candidate)? You think they’re the antithesis of American ideals? Name one of their policies. What does it about?”

- He’s really good at figuring out which of his peers just seem to parrot back things they’ve heard, yk? Like the students who memorize a Ben Shapiro argument but then cannot comprehend or form their own opinion?

- I think he’d be super understanding and accepting of other ideas, and honestly do a really good job of explaining both sides of debates?

- Understands that a lot of people shy away from actually investigating their political ideas and values because it can be intimidating, so he’d love to just talk to you about things and he’d make it really easy to understand

- Honestly I think he’d be a really good college professor someday, I bet he’d consider that as a career path once he saw his classmates turning to him for help

- He would want to be involved with the student political field on campus, councils and boards to advocate for his peers— I’d even imagine his classmates recommend him to join the student council

- But he wouldn’t have time for that(‘: he needs his time away from school sorry

- That’s his excuse to go out with friends a lot and fuck around

- At various parties throughout the week, bars, events, etc etc man’s a bit popular

ARMIN:

- Double major in History and Anthropology!!

- You already know this boys a total braniac

- Takes the most specific but random history courses in hopes of “really developing a broad spectrum of historical context”

- I was a history major and I took a nonhuman/abstract history course? I think Armin would hate a course like that at first, but then it ends up becoming his favorite

- The concept of my course was that studying nonhuman history (like animals or nature) reveals a lot about the people who did the research? And what they were passionate about?

- I did my final research paper on Greenland Sharks and how they live for hundreds of years, and how I’m fascinated by them because I’m fascinated with mortality? And so my paper juxtaposed a race to find the “key to immortality” through Greenland Shark DNA, and the history of death and our conscious awareness of death… I think Armin would eat that shit up

- One of the students who goes into their professor’s office hours just to talk to them about their theses and concepts

- Keeps in touch with his professors after he graduates too!

- Volunteers at the Student Writing Centers to help other undergrads with their papers, just reads through them and gives them some feedback

- Also takes a few creative writing courses!! Might have a poem or short story published in the student-run literary journal! He frames his copies on the wall(:

- As far as off campus activities he probably is active in lot of clubs or groups! Especially things like DnD! He is the Dungeon Master for his campaign

- But also involved in student orgs and clubs, loves checking out the activities board and exploring what the campus events are’

CONNIE:

- Business Major

- So sorry to all of my business major friends and anyone following me who’s a business major

- But at my school it was a joke? The major for people who didn’t know what they wanted to do?

- One of my friends had to decorate a Monopoly board for their final

- He’d probably pay Armin to write his papers? Or try to at least

- Honestly I bet he’d take the most random electives though? I don’t know how many Business majors need but his are so diverse and he’s super engaged in all of them

- Might take a Ping Pong course as a joke (my school offered one) but then takes Atmospheric Science? Imperial Russian History? Yoga? Latin??

- He claims it’s so that he can be a one-man-team in trivia nights and smoke everyone else

- But honestly I think he’d just have a lot of fun learning all of the random stuff!

- Habitually five minutes late to every class, but I think his professors would really like him otherwise?

- He’s extremely active and involved in class discussion, even if he’s just cracking a joke or giving an opinion

- If he’s not in a frat himself, he’s probably super close to all of the frats in town and gets invited out a lot!!

PORCO:

- Architecture Major

- Have you ever seen those “Architecture Majors be like: I have a whole building due on Friday 💀”

- He’d get so offended by those omg?? “That’s literally not true” or “Ha ha it’s funny when you say that but I actually have a model building I need to make”

- But the mode is made out of foam board and toothpicks or something bro chill

- Probably has glue on his fingers like 24/7? Hates building models with a passion. Especially with their super quick curing glue?

- Might actually make Armin help out with his models since Armin paints DnD and Warhammer models??

- I think Porco would prefer the design aspects of architecture and not the hands on part as much

- Is on the school’s soccer team! So he is usually at practice after school

- Probably hogs a squat rack or a bench at the campus gym, sorry not sorry

- I mentioned this in my college Porco headcanon set but I think he’d also go on runs daily around campus in the morning

- Probably one of those guys who brings around a gallon jug of water or a protein bottle

- You can tell Porco is nearby when you hear the protein bottle shake shake shake shake shake (yk with that little metal ball in it)

REINER:

- Okay I struggled with this one but I think he’d start off as a anatomy/physical science major? But then might switch off and go into education 😭

- I just think he’d be a great elementary teacher okay

- At first he’d want to go in to become a Physical Therapist?? So he’s super knowledgeable on anatomy and physical training

- Also on the soccer team, maybe the captain even! He leads warm ups and he’s super observant when it comes to his teammates and their physical capabilities (makes them personal workout routines and Bert is the only one who follows it precisely)

- I think halfway through his sophomore year he realizes that being a physical therapist isn’t what he wants to do? It’s work he’s good at, but does he like it?

- So he switches to be an education major!

- Honestly I could see him becoming a gym teacher or a general primary teacher!!

- He’d be really honored with the opportunity to make a difference in kids lives

- I know that teachers are horrendously underpaid (I’m studying to teach myself), but also shuts people down when they make tease him about that because he’s so proud that he’ll be aiding in the education and support of children!! He’s not in it for the money!

- Works at the gym, basically lives at the gym

- I think he would also be super passionate about activities on campus and school pride?? He and Armin are at every event hahah, his closet is full of different free r shirts he’s picked up

- Not necessarily popular by any means, but his classmates ADORE HIM! He’s super kind, the kind of classmate who will raise his hand and ask the teacher to repeat something or explain it further, even if he knows the content but if he knows a peer struggles with it?

LEVI:

- Literature major, maybe a philosophy minor??

- Similar to Zeke, I always imagine him as a grad student or TA

- One of the snarky, no nonsense students who will shut down his peers if he doesn’t agree with them

- Open to debate his ideas, but no one seems to want to 💀 he’s just a bit intense

- Probably one of those people who gets mad when his essay gets a B+ “I don’t think the Professor was able to comprehend my views, if he did he would have given me an A”

- As a Graduate Student he may teach a class to the undergrads and he’s super engaged with the content, and will just talk and analyze the stories for the class if they don’t participate??

- But he will not tolerate missing assignments

- As a philosophy minor he probably appreciates a lot of the history and context behind the philosophy

- Also probably laughs a bit at the pompous nature of most of his peers? Their whole “nobody understands life like I do” thing?

- Might secretly fuck with his peers by saying the most absurd and ridiculous things in a deadpan way to get them to agree with him “Dwelling on death is like thinking you need to shit soon, but not knowing when you need to go.” And then he waits and stares at them. “Yes, Levi, I agree completely”

- I think he’d be a columnist, or studying to be one? Journalism might have been a better route for him but I think he’d appreciate his courses on classical literature too much to not take them

- Might even take a creative writing course or two? Stays up all night in his apartment, under a poster that has the Ernest Hemingway quote: “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed”

ZEKE:

- Biochemistry loser nerd science man

- I always imagine him as a med student?? So if he’s not in biochem he’s already in med school, a couple years older than you!

- Probably wants to go into neurology or oncology, something intense!!

- I also think he would have taken a lot of history courses as an undergrad though? Enough that his advisor suggests he just gets a history minor

- I don’t know how this man has the time but he’s probably a research assistant for the chem labs or a TA for some of the history courses he liked taking

- He’d probably be a little pretentious about it, saying that TA-ing his history courses are the most relaxing part of his day

- Like shut up we get it you’re a nerd

- But honestly the biochem courses are extremely hard?? Especially if he’s a lab tech or RA!

- He’s probably one of those students who believes that through enough pressure he’ll become the perfect student so he does not take care of himself (🙋🏻‍♀️ I’m that student)

- So any free time he has he dedicates entirely to school or other resume filling activities that he can on campus

- I love the HC of him coaching little league baseball though? That’s probably the one time that he’s just a regular guy lol

- Makes sure his Tuesday and Thursdays are light on course load so that he can take the train to his hometown and coach the kiddos, might hit a bar with his biochem friends on Thursday nights afterwards

Thanks so much for the ask!! This was honestly one of the more challenging requests to do but one of my favorites?? Since I’m trying to come up with a little college series for each individual character, this definitely gave me some inspiration, you’ll likely see more come from this, so I hope you enjoyed(:

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stinkysatan · 1 year

Text

Assistant

Il Dottore x fem! Reader NSFW

Estabilished relationship, body worship, mentally unstable reader, violence, gore, mentions of cockwarming, sub! Reader, blood kink, unprotected sex, praise kink, biting, marking NOT PROOFREAD

As someone who's morality was basically non-existant, and who's view on the world was very similar to a certain harbinger, it was no surprise that the Fatui had approached you after your expulsion from the Akademiya. You, of course, agreed. Even way too enthusiastically - some might say. It didn't take long for Il Dottore to appreciate your work.

As a medicine student you didn't leave room for failure, and your cryo vision proved to be quite useful whenever your master's test subjects were being too... difficult.

Your relationship didn't remain professional for long, it was only a matter of time until the Doctor realized how sickly obsessed you were with him. It amused him how you were even willing to be one of his subjects, trusting him with your life. Despite everything, you knew he wouldn't kill you - he was too used to your presence at this point.

The nights when he usually would just sit, filling out various documents were spent more pleasantly with you cockwarming him, ans giving him some advice while doing so. After work he would bend you over his desk, your moans a music to his ears as you chanted his name like a prayer. He believed his actions to be driven purely by lust, not once indulging you whenever you let out a breathless 'I love you'.

That illusion soon shattered, due to your careless scheming. One especially lively specimen was subjected to your own experiment. You weren't afraid to put your life at risk, and if Dottore were to save you - it would surely mean he felt the same way, right? At least that what you told yourself while loosening the man's restraints while he was unconscious.

When it was time for a test, the doctor instructed you to wake up your subject. You obediently walked over to the man, opening up a flask with a liquid which awakened the brain almost immediately. As expected, you has no time to react before the man grabbed you by the neck, slamming you on the table next to him. "Fucking bitch." He wheezed out to your amusement. Somehow he still hasn't lost his voice.

Dottore's stoic smile faded as he noticed your lack of vision. How careless. The subject was crushing your throat as you instinctively tried to get away, but to no avail. He was an enhanced human after all. Your eyes met the doctor's mask, who clicked his tongue and with one quick motion cut off the brute's hand. "Touching MY assistant? How brave of you" He chuckled, watching you stagger back and lean against the wall, wheezing and coughing.

The trial was wrapped up rather quickly, and once the segments got rid of the subject, Dottore mentioned for you to sit on his knees, which you gladly did, wrapping your hands around his neck. He pulled his mask up, revealing those wonderful crimson red eyes. "I suppose you had something to do with today's... issue, yes?" He asked, squeezing your thigh.

His touch alone sent shivers down your spine. "Perhaps. I may have wanted to test you this time." A sweet smile graced your lips as you played with your master's hair. "I knew you would help me. Your loyal worshipper... I wonder if your feelings will match mine, someday." You giggled, sinking your teeth into Dottore's neck.

He didn't complain, instead his fingers sank further into your flesh as he gasped, feeling you draw blood. You moved away, lapping up the red liquid and pressing a quick kiss to his lips. He hummed in amusement, cleaning your lips with his tongue.

"I can overlook this disobedience. I must admit it would be quite unfortunate if you died, especially from someone else's hands." The last words came out as a whisper, as you felt gloved fingers trace the marks of another man's hands. "How bothersome, I will have to cover those marks with my own. Were you hoping for that to happen?"

The question was rhetorical of course, he already knew the answer and began marking you by sucking and biting on all the red spots. Your gasps filled the otherwise quiet lab, loud enough to let all the segments passing by know, not to disturb their creator.

Dottore pulled away with a playful smirk, admiring your flushed face, glossy eyes, slightly parted lips and that needy look. He motioned for you to hold on, to which you wrapped your legs tight around him. He carried you over to his bedroom - which was mostly now yours considering the fact he doesn't sleep much and you still do.

All the segments passing by in the hallway either did their best to ignore you two, while some of the younger ones couldn't seem to look away. They always were curious about you, but unfortunately for them - in the absence of the original, you always were found around his newest versions, mostly the ones that had already developed some feelings towards you.

Not bothering to properly lock the door, Dottore's lips attacked yours as soon as he stepped into the room. He laid you on the bed, climbing on top and not once breaking the kiss, which grew messier with every second. You knew better than to keep him waiting and reached down to unbutton your pants. But before you did so, the harbinger slapped your hand, clicking his tongue. "I want to take my time with you today, (y/n)."

Hearing your name fall from his lips made you whimper. You don't get to hear it often, but when you do - it's enough to melt you. "Using our names now, Zandik?" You teased him, well aware that you had the similar effect on him. His gloved hands traveled under your shirt, tracing the delicate skin and cupping your breasts. "I suppose you got me in the mood today." He said, pulling back and getting rid of his lab coat, revealing the clothes beneath and that slutty harness that you adored.

He pressed his fingers to your lips, and you understood what he wanted you to do. You bit down on the glove, pulling it off. He did the same with his left hand, and threw the pieces of clothing somewhere across the room. He unbuttoned your shirt, really taking his time now. If it were any of the segments you would get impatient, but it was rare for your real lover to not be in such a hurry. You savored every moment.

Your hands traveled to his stomach, silently asking for permission to get rid of his shirt. No words were exchange, instead a silent agreement in a form of him pulling you into sitting position so he could pull down your own clothing. You weren't as patient as you'd like to be. You fumbled with the buttons, cursing under your breath. Dottore chuckled, but was interrupted by you pulling him by the harness, his laugh dying in your lips and turning into a low groan.

Each of you hastily discarded your bottoms, growing too horny to wait. The bulge in his boxers was painfully obvious, the sight alone causing your mouth to water. "You're drooling darling." He teased, causing you to roll your eyes and pull down his last bits of clothes. "Can't help myself when you look so good." You replied, licking a straight line along his shaft, to which you were rewarded with a sharp hiss. You lapped up his precum, careful to not let even a drop go to waste.

You felt the doctor's hand on your head, his fingers grabbing onto your hair, as you took him all in. You could hear him mutter praises as you choked on his veiny cock, your tongue caressing It gently. He pushed your head further, so that your nose was now touching his skin. You looked up at him, as his eyes were now barely opened, pupils dilated and filled with lust. "That's my good girl." He muttered out, scooping up a single tear that fell from your eye.

Dottore used your mouth like his fleshlight, ruthlessly pounding into you, as you grabbed onto his hips for some sort of support. Your groans sending vibrations down his long dick, causing your lover himself to groan and pant heavily. As he could feel himself getting closer his moves came to a halt as he pulled out of you with a 'pop sound.

Before you could even say anything, he roughly flipped you onto your stomach, pressing your head down into your pillow, and plunging into your wet cunt without a warning. Your muffled moan echoed in the room, as Dottore circled your ass with his palm. "Fuck, you're so wet already. Such a good fucking girl." He whispered into your ear, thrusting his hips roughly, one of his hands reaching down to masage your sensitive clit.

The rhythm of his movements was fast, the room was filled with your noises and loud sounds caused by his flesh colliding with yours. Dottore's cock stretched you so perfectly, as always. It was like you were made for him and only him. Your nails dug into the silky sheets as you let out a breathless gasp when his tip was hitting that sweet spot. "Oh fuck, dear Archons..." You mumbled into the pillow.

At your words, your lover grabbed you by the throat, pulling you up so your back collided with his sweaty chest. You held onto his leather harness for support, as Dottore pushed his fingers into your lips, leaning into your ear. "I am your Archon, darling." He groaned out, and proceeded to bite into your shoulder. A silent scream left your lips as your hold on the harness tightened.

The sensation of his dick pounding into you mercilessly, his fingers abusing your poor clit, as you swirled your tongue around his other hand were all too much. "Za-andik 'm close!" You managed to whimper out, to which he pulled you closer. "Then cum for your God, darling." He demanded, muffling your desperate moans with his lips on yours. Salvia dripping from the corner of your mouth, as you grabbed onto his bicep, nails breaking skin and drawing blood.

Waves of pleasure caused your legs to tremble, your body momentarily weakened as your grip on Dottore gave out, making you fall limp onto the soft bed. The doctor's movements didn't slow down even a bit, but they grew more irregular as your walls clenched around him. His breath hitched and his voice was strained. "Such a good girl —ah! 'm gonna fill you up." He managed to mutter in-between grunts, not even realizing you were getting drunk off his voice when he was in such state.

The harbinger grabbed your ass roughly, pulling you as close as possible as his seed filled up your plush walls. A low moan escaped his lips as he laid above you, body almost giving out. You could feel his dick twitch inside you, which was the most wonderful feeling in the world. After what felt like forever for him, the doctor laid beside you, cleaning the drool from your face with his fingers.

Your eyes half lidded, the serotonin was quickly wearing off as you buried your head in your lovers chest. "Stay with me tonight?" You asked hopefully, only earning a hum of agreement in reply. Dottore played with your hair, lost deep in thoughts about whether he truly began to reciprocate your feelings. Perhaps he was.

He sat up for a moment to get rid of his leather harness, causing you to look up at him questioningly. Was he actually willing to stay with you for the first time? You did get your answer once he resumed your previous position, as he hesitantly kissed your forehead. Maybe it was time to explore his newfound feelings.

#dottore #dottore x you #dottore x reader #dottore x y/n #genshin dottore #genshin impact dottore #genshin x you #genshin imagines #genshin x reader

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