#i hope u like this bc if u dont idk what ill do i almost started crying at one point

[piplupod]

mother: "theres this great job where you'd be on-call to come in!"

me: "ahhh i don't really want to be on-call, that would stress me out a lot because I'd always be on edge,,"

mother: "no you wouldn't, you could make it your thing!"

me: "...my thing?"

mother: "being on call! it'd be great! :)"

me: "i would probably be crying like... a lot ahaha. because I would always be on edge never knowing when to expect having to go into work, yknow?"

mother: "nooo, you could just make it a thing!"

me: "sorry, what do you mean by thing?"

AND I NEVER FOUND OUT !!

[luffysbasement]

hello, i'm finally distancing myself from mcyt :]

it's been really fun!! i loved drawing for everyone, for my interest and esp just interacting with you all. this fandom brought me my friends and different experiences and emotions that are rly unforgettable but i think it's time. thank you for everything, i appreciate you all! ♡♡ pls do stay safe and take care of yourselves!

(my art will remain here ofc but i will most likely be turning this blog into how it was before, multifandom, personal and just a bunch of whatever!)

[sanchoyo]

the job has been going surprisingly ok! I got most of my hours for the week done in like 4 days and im kinda hoping next week i can cut that down to getting it done in like, 3 and then having 4 days off lol. but i do have a webinar thing to attend tomorrow and im dreading it dskkfhkj. i never do well at live meeting call thngies. I do ok at in person ones but for some reason web based ones wig me out x_x (its only like 45 mins and mic only so it could be worse??) auggh

[asteroidzzzn]

more than just a dream - the walker, 003

pairing: college!ellie x reader

synopsis: you transfer to a new school where you only know one person; your childhood best friend. he invited you to a beginning of the year party to meet some new people, but one person, in particular, catches your eye... his other best friend.

a/n: READ THIS ITS IMPORTANT hihihi im backkk i found a format i rlly like!! if u didn't see my other post, im changing formats because its taking way too long for me to make the other one and its very discouraging. creds to @starphires for making the format 💗 hope u enjoy

genre: social media au, fluff

series masterlist -- previous chapter -- next chapter

ellie

OMH IM SORRY IM HERE I FELL ASLEEO

dina 💋 👎 a message

dina 💋

ethan died

ellie

?? how did the main protagonist die what

dina 💋

i lied idk why i said that i didnt even watch the movie

what were yall doing for TWELVE HOURS??

ellie

why r u surprised hanging out for the technically first time for 12 hours is the average lesbian experience

dina 💋

ur like clinically insane

ellie

we were just watching our show

OUR SHOW wyd if i jump off a bridge RN 🧚

dina 💋 ? a message

dina

???

ellie

hold on ill tell the gc everything

ellie

ellie x y/n lore update

jesse 👽

there is no way u just said that.....

ellie

so basically

we got blankets and got comfy cozy and made popcorn and we were having sm fun like talking a bit and saying stuff ab it bc we've both rewatched it sooo many time like its our comfort show

and GET THISSSS

SHE LAUGHED AT MY JOKE

YUPPP I KNOW MHMM

AND POPCORN FLEW OUT OF HER MOUTH'//?! LMFAO

she was rlly embarrassed but it was so funny and cute and i started laughing too and i CHOKED

actual tears in my eyes and she was just sitting there laughing at me

dina 💋 ❤️ a message

jesse 👽

oh so ur deep in the trenches

ellie 👎 a message

dina 💋

thats so romantic

ellie

i almost died???

dina 💋

awww

ellie

she def wants me

jesse 👽

JUST REPORTING LIVE NEWS WE HAVE A DEVASTATING MAGNITUDE 9.9 DELUSIONQUAKE OVER HERE

ellie 👎 a message

dina 💋

DELUSIONQUAKE IS CRAZY OMFG NOOO

ellie

YOU MAKE ME PHYSICALLY ILL PLASE STOP

I AM NOT DELUSIONAL

jesse 👽

ok 🤗

ellie

NOOOASDHFKDFJSFD

but actually tho.. like shes so amazing and pretty and smart

like i dont wanna just hu w her or snything else.. it is a secret third thing

dina 💋

??????? thats called liking her

ellie

oooh maybe...

dina 💋

😭😭😭

jesse 👽

hey im sure this is all rlyl important but ELLIE? ARE YOU STIL LI MY DORM?? DID YOU SLEEP EHREA

ellie

UMM????

jesse 👽

I HEARD YOU AUDIBLY GIGGLE A FEW MINUTES AGO AND I THOUGHTIT WAS Y/N BUT SHES STIL LASLEEP..

ellie

NAHH GET HIM BACK ON HIS MEDS HES HALLUCINATING!!!

NURSE HES OUT!

jesse 👽

FUCK TYOU I AM NOT CRAZY I EHAR UR PHONE BUZZING WITH MY TEXTS RIG TNOW

ellie

😜

dina 💋 ❤️ a message

jesse 👽 👎 a message

jesse 👽

PUT THAT AWAY???

ellie

im sorry

ill go buy u breakfast what do u want

jesse 👽

ellie stew

ellie

um idk i could get u a sandwich ig..

dina 💋

u should get me food too bc u dipped on me last night im On my way! 🙋‍♀️

ellie

a/n: typa shit i been on recently..... 😓 . i hope u all liked thisss! this format is sm fun and way easier for me i hope u enjoy reading it! tell me if the length of this chapter was good or if i should make them longer/shorter,, i appreciate all feedback 💋💋

taglist: @ximtiredx @gold-dustwomxn @elliesinterlude @fireflyelllie @trulygnomed @deluluwh-0-re @toesorhoes @elliewilliamsmissingfingerss @emluvselandabs @ariianelle @jokerpokimoon @lonelyfooryouonly @lil-elliesgf @yuaaa05 @ourautumn86

[akaakeis]

gnawing at my nails rn i miss my bf (i dont have one) how do u pick like,,, one person to selfship with bc⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

like there r so many options ushijima i dont even know who's my favourite character rn ushijima like guys☹️⁉️⁉️

BUT I cant wait for savyaku😼😼😼😼😼 SOCUTE

goshiki is my babey though he is sososososososososo cute and i would want him irl and i bet i could even pull him irl toooo

yk what this type of starting is called! a HOOK sentence cuz u got HOOKED and now ur reading this long ass ask. WAIT FUCJ mattsun guys hear me out here ANYWAYS. HRU SAV!!!!!!!!!!!! its 4am for yew rn right!!

anyways.. its 4pm havent had lunch yet am so fucking tired but soft rice.. soft white rice.... i want to sleep but rice....... call me basic but soft white rice is the best fucking thing in the entire world right after u. teacher gave my english composition an 80 i think ill end up on the news. i just stood up abruptly and the world went 🌀🌀🌀🌀 should i be worried..!!!!

THERE WAS AN OWL ON OUR ROOF THE OTHER DAY SO COOL i almost started writing akaashi hurt comfort (???) at school today but i didnt get time and now im Too Tired :(

im reading and the mountains echoed by khaled hosseini and erm. the plot is so questionable at times like wdym the guy was in love with his chauffeur wdym she tried to kill her sister and changed her mind last second so it was only paralysis but its ok bc she killed her fr next time. wdym this one girl dated her moms ex and then married her friend's ex like guys.. guys i have Questions..

IDK IF U READ JJK MANGA BUT U SHOULD READ JJK MANGA

i cant wait for ur birthday #weirdkidthings Im So Funny Guys Im So Funny

im going to sleep so hard tonight grrgrgrhrgrg i had ice cream on the way home from school YUM and then math kid era p2 i finished this one thinf before everyone else even started and the teacher asked if i did it qt home cuz wtf. ew now i remember her using her nail to create indentations in the paper and i feel nauseous my skin is crawling

WHATEVER eRmmrmrm im sitting on the stairs rn hashtag procrastination ahahahahah ive been writing this and zoninf out for the past 7 minutes yyyyyippeeee

im so tired guys let me sleeeep

my parenrs were supposed to find baby gender today but the little shit kept its legs shut and didnt let them see (just like me frl)

correction im lying on the stairs rn ..

honestly me x goshiki would be Bomb why is he so unpopular all his fics are mid or questionable so far,,,, anyways. konoha is so beautiful i would want him excpet i have like no grip on his character so #tweaks. i hate andrew tate so fkn much. i cant wait till i turn 16 idk i feel like life will be significantly cooler then. anyways bb i take my leave gotta go eat lunch

i hope youve eaten by the time ur reading this!!! stay hydrated and safe and dm me to be silly together whenever >:]]]]] i hope u have a WONDERFUL day sav!! ily <3

look at my man hes so gorgeous btw

alina... bf... :D alright then! umumumummm honestly there were many characters that i wanted to do a selfship with but i didnt want to be self shipping with the same character that someone im following consistently self ships with LMAO cause i feel like it gets weird for me at that point cause all the hcs in my head get mixed up? ANYWAY i just think of selfships with any character im hyperfixating on at that very moment... in fact my selfship very well may change!!!

anyway since im replying after you decided on yuulina... NOYA AGHHH U GUYS WILL BE SO CUTE TOGETHER!!! IM UR NO 1 SUPPORTER THIS IS YUULINA SUPPORT CENTRAL‼️‼️‼️

savyaku sounds so funny i need to thank of something that sounds better stop rn 💔 BUT I LOVE HIM SO SO SO SO SO MUCH IM SUPER EXCITED TO DO SOME SELFSHIP STUFF :))

u would so pull goshiki irl 🙂‍↕️

HELP thanks for the english lesson lina 😭 those terms always make me shudder because they were drilled into my head in my college comp class it was horrifying. and NO not mattsun i do NOT approve of that at this point in time!!!! AND IM OKAY!! tired as hell and i have 3 projects to work on <3 (i stacked my classes this year, im not proud.) IT IS NOW 3 PM AS I ANSWER THIS ASK SO SORRY IT TOOK ME LIKE 12 HOURS WOAH

honestly u were probably tired because you didn't eat but i digress... AND SOFT WHITE RICE HAS MY HEART IT MAY BE AN ASIAN THING?? and awh stawp😋 ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE ENGLISH TEACHER THAT YOU CORRECTED IN CLASS? THE ONE THAT CANT SPEAK AS WELL AS YOU?? insanity 😨 i may end up on the news as well. AND YOURE PROBABLY HUNGRY AND DEHYDRATED GO EAT AND DRINK WATER IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY WHAT??? PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!

WHAT AN OWL ON THE ROOF THATS SUPER COOL!! bro i love owls :( and ugh i get what u mean i feel like sometimes the time just slips away... but its okay! you'll have time at some later date <3 make sure you rest enough!!

guys what my jaw just dropped?? THOSE WERE THE MOST RANDOM PLOT POINTS YOU COULDVE LEFT ME WITH. NOW IM JUST CONFUSED? KINDA WANNA READ IT NOW (my readlist has 100+ books on it)...

AND IVE READ SOME OF IT BUT IM NOT UP TO DATE RN I HAVENT HAD MUCH TIME TO CATCH UP RECENTLY

im excited for your bday too!! im trying to math away the time differences in my head so like i would dm at 12 pm the day before your bday so i would catch u at midnight i THINK.

i hope u are having an AMAZING sleep rn alina!!! and u are so smart <3 barf ur teacher needs to stop doing that thats lowk unsanitary? in my book

HELP ME NOT THE JS LIKE ME FR 😭😭 hopefully u guys are able to figure out the gender soon!! im so excited for you guys <33

goshiki is under appreciated as a character honestly and i think its cause of his fuckass haircut 😭 NO OFFENSE TO YOU WHATSOEVER IM SORRY!! HES CUTE BUT THE HAIR IS NOT FOR ME. when i saw him shirabu AND tendou i was like "what the HELL is wrong with shiratorizawa they are all fucked" no they werent they had semi and ushijima BUT THAT WAS FIRST IMPRESSION ANYWAY also konoha UGRHSHSBNDMSJABD hes so!!! so!!! yeah!!! i love him sm... also how did we get on the topic of andrew tate hes such a weird guy i dont like him 💀 AND SO REAL im excited to be 16 <3

AND I HAVE!! make sure u eat something nutritious before school! and drink some water!! i hope your day is lovely <3 ily!!

[1800duckhotline]

what is vampire the masquerade and whats killer is dead. i assume videod games but i could be wrong... you seem to be having soo much fun im nosaayy 😁

omg hi mani im so flattered u would ask!! yeah ive been in the throes of videogames lately AHAH... oc brained but videogame about it sort of...

vampire the masquerade is actually a ttrpg originally published in the 80s i think, but it keeps getting updated so its not like. anything super old... whenever i mention "vampire the masquerade: bloodlines" im talking about the 2004 videogame created based off of the ttrpg! im biased in loving vtm and vtmb since well. it's about vampires. but i think it's an unique take on them that like makes the supernatural aspect not too boring compared to the classic supernatural vampire take. since it involves clans, a lot of vampire politics and societal aspects to it all, etc... Bloodlines itself is not a perfect game (ill avoid geeking out too much about the brief dev hell history it had) but i value it so dearly bc its so 2004 and is so gothic/alternative in its genuine influence. also the story is goofy but really good too (with um, simultaneously, the con that It Is a 2004 Game, meaning it has a lot of weird bigotries that were normalized for the time lol). Unforchy it's almost unplayable without downloading an additional patch mod that restores also a lot of cut content ^_^ but you make do... its so easy to make ocs for the game and the general ttrpg, sooo many ways you can go with your characters!! Bloodlines itself as a game is an action/adventure RPG mostly focused on combat (with stuff like stealth sessions) as well as various ways to resolve different quests. the variety of said outcomes is mostly limited by the fact the studio wasn't able to polish the game at all for release due to activision, the publisher, pushing troika games (dev team) to release the game early to compete with half life 2 at the time (yeah crazy i know). that said, the dialogues can be really charming and fun and offer a nice variety of things to do.. its not perfect but seriously is the best vampire RPG game around so far..

killer is dead is completely different (mostly because i can never focus on one thing for too long lmfao), it's an hack and slash 2014 game created by suda51 and grasshopper manufacture (same game devs behind no more heroes, lollipop chainsaw, shadows of the damned etc) and it's. an okay game. i dont even know if i can explain the story bc its like, a clusterfuck. and usually clusterfuck stories are goichi suda's specialty but this one goes over the moon (funny joke if You Know). it's a pretty mid game. I love it on one hand bc its easy to play and very stylish, tho the shaders sometimes can give you an headache. I also love the protagonist (mondo zappa) because to me thats a butch not just some guy. Unfortunately the game has the very strong cons of being too short for the kind of game it is, and also has an infamously bizarre minigame that's called "gigolo missions"... you basically go on "dates" with beauties (sexy girls basically), you give them gifts until they 'love' you and then you go have sex and they give you weapon upgrades as a result. the date though consists of you building up your "guts meter" by looking at their boobs or legs so it's like. REALLY STRANGE. CANT HASHTAG IM SORRY FEMINISM OUT OF THIS ONE I'M AFRAID.... it's so conflicting bc apparently suda didn't want to add this function but publishers forced him to. oh well. a solid 6.5/10 tbh. idk if i'd reccomend it tho maybe gameplays are better than getting it at full price imo (i got my game as a gift)

UM SO SORRY FOR GEEKING OUT...I HOPE THE EXPLANATION WAS CLEAR. My brain keeps jumping from media to media with no pause... i wanna focus on ocs again but this keeps happening hahaha

[muqingswife]

how i think modern!aegon and modern!helaena looks like

@fan-goddess heres what you asked!

note: english is not my first language, im from brasil i speak pt br português brasileiro and im using the translator sometimes, sorry for my mistakes

lets goooo 😋

ok ill start with the same i started on aemonds (i just copied and pasted, if you've already read aemonds you can skip to the text under the dots, but if you havent read it, heres the link:

first off all, their family would remain a monarchy, maybe like danish royalty (i read somewhere that the Danish royals have more political power than the British royals or something like that, and i honestly cant think the Targaryens giving up any power that they could have) and here we DONT have incest!!!! read my thoughts below:

viserys didnt die yet and still being the king

he is rhaenyras stepfather so she can marry daemon with "no problem" and shes the heir of the iron throne

the line of succession to the throne would be: rhaenyra, jacaerys, lucerys, joffrey, aegon and viserys (idk whos the eldest), aegon, helaena, aemond and finally daeron

even though aegon is the 7th in the line of succession, he acts as if he were the first, which is unbearable most of the time

helaena on the other hand, doesn't care about royal duties as much as her siblings do 🤷🏻

they have the same hair as in the show, prove me wrong

aegon is a womanizer and everyone knows that, takes advantage of his title as prince to fuck girls (and even professors when he needs high grades 😶

helaena ALWAYS has high grades, she (try) helps her classmates when they're down in a subject but doesn't really have any friends, maybe 1 or 2 who are "close"

bc of that she stays more with aemond or with baela and rhaena

she is the quiet girl in the class, drawing random things in her notebook, sit next the window not too far forward and not too far back

while aegon is a total disaster - he sits with his little group at the back of the class and talks the whole class (idk if students still get sent to co-ordination for bad behavior in college, but if they are, he would definitely go at least 5 times a week

if he decides to study, he will give up after 2 minutes and the rest of the time, he is disturbing the class

returning to the appearance hc

this is how i imagine their style

i dont even know is that are rock or metal bands but he like this things and dont ask me the name of helaenas style, i forgot 😮‍💨

maybe aegon would have a band, like tom, i dont know if nobles can do that 🤷🏻

aegon would wear tighter clothes than my ass when i have a surprise test and helaena like looser clothes and specific fabrics (in my thoughts shes autism

helaena doesnt wear makeup and when she does, is not too much, almost imperceptible

aegon has dark circles

i think aegon would not be so tall, maybe 175cm/5'9 and helaena at most would be 168cm/5'6

as i said in aemonds post, helaena has a collection of insects, dead and alive

the collection of dead insects obviously she didnt kill them, she just found them and wanted to keep them to study

speaking of that, helaena would be an entomologist

SUNFYRE IS A GOLDEN RETRIEVER AND THIS IS CANON

dreamfyre is maybe a butterfly? im kind of confused which insect she looks like (im even afraid of flies and i really dont want to research insects 🥺

this was a little short because i dont have as much affinity with them than i have with aemond, but i hope u like it and help you with ur dr 💗

idk where u live but here in brazil its still 20th, i keep my promise 🥳🥳🥳

[violentviolette]

I’m going to try to ask this in the best faith possible bc I realize how like loaded conversations around mental illness and pathologizing behavior is, esp wrt npd and aspd especially. You talk a lot about how pathologizing abuse and otherwise shitty behavior is bad and how with trauma, our behaviors (as I’m cluster b as well, jury’s out on aspd) are usually deeply unhealthy and destructive, but wherein is the difference between just being a shitty person growing up and being antisocial? Or developing npd?

The diagnostic criteria for aspd is like being generally destructive towards ourselves and others, but where does the line become “I was destructive as part of developing aspd” and “I was destructive as a child because society rewards bullies and punishes victims and I was a little shit”? Im, again, not trying to start anything, I am legitimately confused and concerned even where there are people who do not fit the model for aspd but do shitty things and people who do fit the model and do shitty things. What part is the disorder?

The reason I’m not entirely sure if I have aspd is because I’m not entirely sure that the criteria I met as a kid (and as an adult) should be pathologized as aspd. Like maybe I really just am not a good person and shouldn’t slap a “mentally ill” label on it? Just like I shouldn’t expect people to armchair dx bad people with npd and aspd, where is the destructiveness inherent to the disorder and when is it just being a shitty person? I hope I asked this correctly.

Im trying to get a hold of like understanding and unpacking things and I don’t want to further demonize the disorder by saying “oh I did these things so I must be aspd”, but I don’t want to erase my struggles or do that radical positivity where it’s almost infantilizing where “uwu you can have aspd and be perfect nondestructive angels uwu nothing you do ever is bad and you’re valid” either. I may have exaggerated the positivity a bit 😂, I wouldn’t go so far, but I don’t want to further demonize the disorder if I just was a shit person but I don’t want to shit on pwaspd who, I suppose, “aren’t perfect”. Idk. I hope this comes across the way I mean it to.

i think i understand what u mean, and i think, in my opinion, the answer is that there is no such thing as an ontologically bad person. people do things for a reason, and while those reasons arent always good reasons, they're never as simple as "because they're a bad person"

this is especially true when looking at childhood behavior. there is genuinely no such thing as an inherently bad kid. children do not act out for no reason. there is no such thing as a child who is just a little shit. genuinely that does not exist. because children learn their behavior solely from their environment, every willful behavior a child exhibits (so anything that isnt a reflex like breathing or babies crying) they learned from the environment around them. so if a child is behaving badly, that means the adults around it are behaving badly. that means that child is being treated badly first, before they then go on to mimic and repeat that behavior and to be clear im talking specifically about disordered behavior, all kids go through periods of acting out and being emotional and impulsive. so im excluding normal ranges of behavior. because kids that are destructive in these ways are so for a reason, and that reason is never ever because "they're just bad." that is a myth that adults use to excuse, normalize, and justify child abuse, because they dont want to believe and admit that they are abusing their children, that their behavior is a problem that needs to change. if a child is exhibiting deep antisocial behavior, if they're destructive, if they lie, if they hurt other kids or animals, if they dont show remorse or any emotional connection to their actions, if they're emotionally volatile, if they're acting out in aggressive or dangerous ways, if they're mean and vindictive and go out of their way to hurt others, if they take joy in causing others discomfort and upsetting them, then those children are being abused. those symptoms do not manifest for no reason or because a kid is just a shitty person. that'd be like saying an infection isnt caused by bacteria entering ur bloodstream, it's just something that happens to some people because they suck, u know? the wound cannot come before the blow. in order to exhibit these symptoms as children, something has to have happened. for cluster b pds specifically and the overall list of symptomatic behaviors they cover, those things cannot and will not manifest in people unless they undergo trauma through prolonged abuse. if they were being raised in healthy, loving, emotionally stable environments, then they would not be exhibiting those symptoms in those ways.

this is such a huge lie that people who grow up in abusive households get taught, that some people are just shitty and awful and evil, that yea sure there's people with real problems but thats not us, we're just spoiled, selfish, entitled, needy, shitty, ect. ect. bad kids and that's why we're like this. thats why they treat us so badly, because we're just inherently awful and they're just reacting to that. because if they were to admit otherwise that would mean admitting that their behavior is actually the issue and their actions are wrong, so the problem has to just be us, not them.

i dont know if these are things that resonate with u, but i know for a lot of cluster b's we often find ourselves in the beginning going through this period of being like "but im just shitty and thats why im like this" because our entire worldview revolves around logic that isnt actually reality or healthy truth, it's abuse. and because we've lived our whole lives inside that abuse bubble of logic we dont even realize how deeply we've internalized it until times like these

so i think those are important things to consider and remember when thinking about all this and i hope that made sense and was helpful. feel free to ask followups or for clarification if i got too rambly somewhere and lost the point or just made no sense lol

[taegularities]

Rid you're crazyyyyyyyyyyy

just finished cmi11 IM FUCKING CRYING holy shit that was so good oh god

first of all the conversation between oc and her mom made me cry so hard- it hit home for me, as a girlie with mommy issues, that part felt so real to me. Oc's courage to stand up for herself like that and tell her how much she hurt her own daughter is something i dont have in me. It broke my fucking heart, that yearning feeling, i cant believe you put that specific feeling into words rid [are u part of the mommy issues community as well🧐 or are u just that amazing, a true fucking artist (i saw that anon calling you the beyonce of ff and i agree 100%)] idk how to describe my feelings rn, that part definitely left a mark in my heart, ill never forget it

second the domesticity in these two dorks oh my goddddd they're driving me crazy, theyre so cute and in love and im in love with them and i want to cry bc i want what they have but bc irl men suck the hopeless romantic in me is gonna have to live through fanfics for the rest of my life and that makes me fucking miserable but bless the fanfic gods like you that keep my soul alive, idk what id do without you

lastly that scareeeeee oh god like i knew itd be a negative but it had my heart beating out of my ass (idk if thats a phrase) but the way they handled it oh god, the emotionsssssss the fears and insecurities, just reminded me that theyre human, even if theyre the most fucking adorable characters ever, theyre still human and i loved seeing such nuance. You really are doing an amazing job rid, not only writing the story, scenes and dialogue, but also the way you write these characters in such depth, its so fucking refreshing to see.

i want to kiss your beatiful head that holds your beautiful brain, seriously ive never ever been so enchanted by a piece of writing before (and i read so much fanfiction its like an addiction) you are by far my strongest fix. For real tho, your writing, and particularly cmi has touched me deeply and I'll never ever forget it. So thank you

Rest assured and stop doubting yourself bc youre seriously incredible and so fucking talented. Now rest up and take care of yourself, i imagine its not easy to birth such work (i mean 36k you monster, i loved every second of it but damn girl take a break before you burn your brain out) but no srsly i hope youre eating well, sleeping well and doing things that make you happy and relaxed. You deserve all the best of this world rid🫂🩷

sincerely ~ 🐼✒️anon

panda hi hello oh my gosh, sorry for being late, but you mentioned so many important things, so i wanted to take my time HELLO!! never stop sending these lovely af reviews 🥺

i know... she really is inspiring bc the courage to stand up against someone you feared for so long is admirable. i'm part of both the mommy and daddy issues community even though it's gotten a lot better lol like i wonder why it's such a recurring theme in my fics 🤣 i'm so sorry you could relate to oc :( but i'm glad you liked the scene so much.

and ahhh the domesticity 🤧 it's been so so fun and relaxing to write!! real life romance can be hard to find, yeah :') so i guess writing these scenes and chapters has been extra cathartic (although it drives me crazy, too — the next chapter has been making me so jejfhdjjsgd), but here's to finding a cmi jk irl soon :') much more to come!!!🕯️

the scare was one hell of a ride 🥺 i cried a lot!! and even i have been realising lately that i sometimes try to make my characters flawless, but that's actually not what i wanna go for. i always snap out of it and then try to make them flawed bc they're human, and i think the cmi couple, despite how endearing they are, is definitely vv flawed :') thank you for pointing that out 🥺

your strongest fix?? girl PLEASE ILL CRY 😭💔 i love you so much, you're so sweet for saying that and seeing me in such a way, pls i want you here forever <3 i rested a lot after cmi11! but ngl, cmi11.5 almost burned me out ksjdhehd gonna rest even more after that hehe. tyssssm, i hope you're well and healthy and i appreciate you so much for your kindness, reassurances and love for this series/me. love you so much 🤍

[shattersstar]

hate being a writer on here rant undercut bc u guys suck :)

kinda came to the realization that most of yall don’t deserve anything i have ever written or will write. the readership on this site can barely do its due diligence and expects art in return? yeah no thats sad and gross and i could delete this blog on a whim with no attempt to archive anything ive written and i would be in the right because yall have done little to deserve more than that from me

and if this feels personal than thats on u babe maybe reblog a fic of mine and leave a comment to feel better about yourself ?

its just so frustrating being a writer on this site, this blog is almost 5 years old ive been writing on here since i was 14 but that doesnt mean anything when i dont write smut or lean into fanon shit. and idk if i have ever said it on here but when it comes to dc i actively try to go against the grain of fandom takes bc im a petty person and bc they dont make sense especially if u read the comics.

which is huge gripe i have, i get comics suck most of the time but like. are u seriously reading my works without reading dc comics? because ill b real, u definitely don’t deserve to read what i write bc i try sooo hard to take nuances from the comics and put so much effort into understanding these characters as they are and as i think they should be and u cant even read whats not even inspiring me, but the world im literally writing in/about?

like maybe this is rude but i just dont know how yall can actively think u deserve art from creators when u cant even put the minimal amount of effort in and r always coddled in posts supposedly calling out readers for being lame like. im being straight up

u don’t deserve my writing unless u put the effort in to earn it and i can’t change that or who reads my stuff but i hope to god this eats u alive when u read anything of mine and choose not to interact <3

[swaggypsyduck]

Yall I’m new to stanning football. I came here straight from the world cup and I’m not gonna lie this shit is beating my ass. Is it always in the mud like this? I chose psg because that seems like the best option because they got messi, neymar, and mbappe who are literally the three players that caught my attention during the tournament! Yall I really thought this was going to be fun. 😭 What’s going on? Why does everything feel so confused and chaotic (not in a good energetic way, more like headless chicken running kind of way) but also weirdly sluggish and slow? Yall I don’t understandddddddd. It’s like the team has four different personalities all at once? It’s so… unpleasing to watch yall it was not like this during the world cup. 😭

I hope they get better. But I’ve been reading the psg girlies on tumble and … it seems like nobody has hope it’s going to get better? I mean surely it will? Right? I feel like everybody has given up on the season and I’m scared. 😭 I hope Kylian feels better soon. I was thinking maybe we can do trades with other teams but apparently business hours is already closed and will next open in the summer? The fuck? But we dont got anyone? And almost everyone is dropping like flies? What happens if the big guy on the fishnet gets a flue or just gets sick in general? We just dont get anyone?

Also the coach looks like he should be in a martin scorsese film with robert de niro and joe pesci. The fuck is he doing on the pitch tho?

We need to bounce back QUICK! We need positive vibes! Energy! We need God to be honest but I feel like I’ve spent all my credit with him praying for Messi to win the world cup. My account with God is all maxed out. Yall. I cant sleep until I figure this shit out. Somebody do something!

Do we have a secret weapon? Like what is the plan here? What is plan b? Oh my goddddd. This parasocial relationship is with these players really do beating my ass. I’m out here worried for them!

hi anon! wow this is a doozy. ill try to break down my response but idk if it'll do ur rant justice LOL

1) Welcome newcomer! as u may have seen in the world cup, if there's one thing someone should tell u before u enter the football world is that ABSOLUTELY NOTHING is guaranteed. you could have the strongest defense, the best goalie, gamemaster midfielders, and strikers w amazing finishes and you'll still lose to an underdog team who has better teamwork and chemistry. or just one player decides "uk what? imma earn my paycheck today" and demolishes the other team.

2) psg is a joke. ill tell u right now. lose any and all expectations. we clown on them bc even if they played shit before but at least they were winning. now they're playing shit and LOSING! and thats the problem we have. the 4 personalities at once thing is absolutely correct. you have 3 well seasoned forwards who are used to being the "it" strikers of their team. on top of that we have NO MIDFIELD AND A SHIT MANAGER WHO CANT GET A TACTIC OUT OF HIS ASS EVEN IF I SHOVED IT IN THERE MYSELF!!!... sorry i lost it a bit there lol.

3) as yes transfer window closing. see that's also Galtier and that fuckin toad incharge of players who DIDN'T MAKE A TRANSFER UNTIL LAST MINUTE AND LET CHELSEA FUCK THEM OVER. and sorry to burst ur bubble but there's a chance key players might leave/retire by that summer so lets hope they promise them to bring in an actual proper midfield by then.

4) So another thing to consider if one of the reasons u chose psg was for messi... i wouldnt. This isn't his club. this is his retirement club. ramos too actually. they've finished their careers. they actually have absolutely nothing to lose LOL. messi's heart will always be in barcelona. as in he literally knows nothing else except barça

5) injuries suck. but they are a part of the game. if u play any contact sport u know the feeling. even non-contcact sports there r still big injuries. everyone is hoping kylian gets better soon. he needs all the rest he can get 🤲🏼.

6) Our secret weapon? BHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! prayers i guess. nah im kidding. but there really isn't any secret weapon unless u count galtier deciding to pick up a tactic book? or leaving and getting replaced by pep or zidane. to use ur weapon analogy we have a dented shield that still works (defense) and a bunch of bullets (forwards) but no gun (midfield) to load them.

7) ik u were joking about that last part but the parasocial relationship?? do ur absolute best to minimize it. like as someone who's been watching the beautiful game since i was a kid its okay and fun to joke about it and worry/send love to ur faves but u have to remember: those are grown ass men getting payed hundreds of millions to kick a ball around while those in their cities that pay to watch them are in heating/housing crisis. so when we eat the rich ill be cutting them up w tears uk?

hope this helped LOL.

[foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland]

ok so i did start a little comic bc i like drawing and also. as of today i think ive gotten into prime defenders PROPERLY. id tried a bit last week but it was real difficult 2 like get attached 2 anything. 2day tho i finally got past episode fuckin 3 and also 4 and alsooo the what if episode of like the errr. amalgam ending. which was cool. i think i am now attached 2 these characters which is probably a good thing. but its funny that this is exactly what happened w riptide. i started listening to it back in like fuckinggg. either mid 2021 or mid 2022 ik it was the middle of one year i jsut dont remember which one. but i listened 2 the first like 8 episodes and just couldnt make it past episode 8. or maybe it was 7. or maybe even 6. sometime in loffinlot is all ik. but then i picked it back up later (definitely. way later than this) and got properly attached 2 the characters n shit n now i love them sooooosososo much. so i am hoping the same happens w pd. except on a much smaller scale. bc it was only 2 episodes. and about like 5 days. well technically probably 10. well sorta not. ill say 7. maybe. anyways. sleepy times now its almost 1am. tmrw i hope to do lots of nerd stuff. like. drawing silly comics. and subtitling random clips i find. and. maybe i could make some more friendship bracelets. also since tmrws all mine. i could lie in the sun and listen to more pd. bc i havent had the garden 2 myself in a while. okay yea goodnight if any of my mutuals see this in likeeeee 7 or 8 hoursish can u like idk spam me a bunch w this post so i can remember my plans. okie bye love u <3

[dsfjjshgffdg]

complaining about my shit brain below bc it got long lol

sooo genius that i need to get medication to do almost everything that i need to be doing. like. oh yknow. getting proper education. and that the process to get in touch with mental health professionals, which btw i dont even know if theyll be any good bc its public healthcare but thats beside the point, is incredibly stressful to the point where i avoided it for like my whole 1st year or being here and now i have to wait more for a phone call that id rather rip my hair out than go through with, and then more appointments and shit. and then ill have to hope what im prescribed helps rather than fuck my shit up like the last time i was put on meds and if it doesnt i have to just keep trying until i find something that does work. and in all that time we'll probably be moving to a different place and im suuure that wont fuck up anything nor lead to any more waiting times. smiles. oh and idk this country's main language bc again its hard to fucking learn something like that on ur own when u have unmedicated adhd. and other issues. so my options with who ill be able to see and talk to are greatly limited by that too.

this post was brought to you by me being upset that i cant look into dog related events or training classes or read books from the library on the topic or talk to most ppl that we come across on walks or literally anything. like im at a point where i Want education which is smth i wouldnt have really even said a couple years ago bc it was just. well i have to. but now i have a (specific interest fueled) motivation to do that but basically :

[imraespace]

HELLO AGAIN I AM STUCK IN SCHOOL AND IT IS LUNCH TIME 😈‼️

i am lowk adjusting to my schedule and i realize that being alone isnt so bad as long as like u dont make it seem so depressing and plus i can basicallt scroll on my phone for 40 mins 😋😋

BUT HOW ARE YOUU i hope that school is fun for you !!

back again with a daily question what bluelock character would start a tumblr blog and start posting smaus/ffs 😈⁉️⁉️ todays ask is kinda short and less yappery but legit nothing happened today ☹️

- 🐙

HIII today im home becos my momma car went bonkers last night after she bad talked a driver infront maybe it was karma..

YES ITS NOT THAT BAD WHEN YOUR ENTERTAINED i sit in the far back of my class so when im alone i scroll on twt or tumblr reading smaus LMAO

IM REALLY HAPPY xiangli yao from wuthering waves is almost here i watched his trailer this morning and was bouncing off the walls i love him sm.. but rn im listening to arcane soundtracks bc even tho the 2nd season is like in a few months im impatient! BUT SCHOOL IS OKAY i wont say fun bc im mostly alone unless someone calls me like i said in the other post THE FUN THING THAT HAPPENED THO IS I GOT A STICKER ON MY SPANISH TEST AND THEN MY SEATMATE STOLE IT i took it back tho hahah AND YESTERDAY IN MY POB CLASS MY FRIEND AND I WERE BICKERING AND i think i told her ill shove her testpaper but her nose and she asked me how and i said i will find a way to and she told me to find a way to fix my eyesight😧ITS BC I WEAR GLASSES AND IT CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD so like i smacked her with her testpaper and didnt help her for the rest of the class but thats all!

i love these questions UMM I THINK NIKO WOULD HELP(idk anything abt niko!) or or ness it will probably be kaiser fics or like aryu but i dont think aryu would do smaus he will probably be those blogs who posts moodboards or themes for like twt or sum and it would be perfect themes and moodboards bc its aryu

[sphericalbee]

bro if either of my irls see this i will look crazy pahtetic idk maybe ill delete iti should probably just leaves this ini the drafts

im pretty pathetic irl anyway i think lol wo who carse

im thinking ab my middle school best friend and i miss her so much it isnt even funny

idk if i was her best friend but i always loved her so much and i think about her almost every day even 2 years later

ik she wasnt doing well and she didnt come from a good home and was awful at managing her emotions and didnt talk to anyone and she would sh (i only know ab bc of some complicated secret poetry thing but she never knew i had seen that but i think she meant me to) and i think she cared about me? i kinda hope not bc i want her to be happy

but i would genuinely give anything to go back in time and talk to her again for just a few hours

i want to text her and tell her everything but idk its too weird after 2 years

i think she deserves to know how much i care about her,, right?

i had to pause twice writing this bc i was crying too hard i worry about her so much

its good im godo at crying silently lol no one can even tell so sneaky

i saw a girl with the same hair as her last week and i teared up in the middle of the hallway because it hit me how much i dont know what shes doing or if shes even alive bc i KNOW hse wasnt fucknig donig well

my cat was trying to comfort me but i think he got bored and left he's so cute lmfoa my brain made it into a very angsty analogy b4 i had the chance to stop it 💀

im this close to cracking and spam texting her

i googled her just now and found her linkedin profile of fucking course shes on linkedin thats so inc harecetr where she says she wants to go to medical school and she uses fucking stupid old words like candor and idk i hope she gets into her dream college

im sure she can she was always so smart i thknk shell do rly well and maybe one day shell perform open heart surgery on me lol that would be baller

"I believe in honesty because it creates an environment that permits integrity. Allowing for candor leads to an honorable work space. Integrity is an essential value to have as it holds all to a high ethical standard. Integrity adds trust, which is necessary for professionalism. I plan to enroll in a four-year college for a master's degree to study biochemistry. I then intend to go to medical school and earn a doctorate."

she fucking talked like that even at 13 yeah and she liked running and read all the time and she loved gamed of thrones and i still own one of her shitty books and we met when she was challenging classmates to race and she was so tall and had pretty hair

sophia im sorry for crying i think it would make her uncomfortable haha

i have fucking snot on my face now shed forsure be uncomfortable lmfaoo

ill go watch some tv show and try not to burst into tears again in 10 minutes ugh maybe it would be better if i had stayed depressed having this many feelings is driving me crazy why r u here bro : /

i should make a secret vent account LMFAO my followers r here for ohshc and mq not sob stories sorry sorry

[k0sk1]

[rant post idk just getting shit off my chest]

cw mild violence!! ig but nothing too grapphic, just mentions of it

guys question today i talked to a girl and mentioned how sometimes i rlly want to beat the fucking shit outta some ppl that annoy me a lot and then she was like "i dont feel like that" and then she said she barely hated anyone anyway and like does everyone have a bunch of violent thoughts that arent intrusive thoughts abt hitting ppl u love but teaching ppl u fucking hate a lesson???? Bc intrusive thoughts are things u dont wanna do thats why theyre intrusive but these are more like obessive bc i OBSESS with them but i WANT to teach SOME people some lessons and i wouldnt regret doing it no, bc i only think abt hurting ppl i HATEEE and not ppl i care for. I dont obsess over ppl i love dying and me hurting them its just fucking racist ableist mean (and honestly fucking cruel) assholes . like srsly thank GOD school just ended yesterday cause if i had to spend one more day around the same annoying ppl, even if theyre few in the class and not most, i wouldve gone fucking crazy and WOULDVE hit someone. Like idk if this is a rant or what buT SRSLY sometimes id be there looking around and thinking abt how someone rlly shitty would go up to me be annoying and id idk punch them so hard i break their jaw GUYS IS THIS CONCERNING??? LIKE IS CREATING CENARIOS IN UR HEAD WHERE ITS BASICALLY JUST U YELLING AT PPL AND HIT THEM A LOT A WELL ADJUSTED THING??? or am i like rlly mentaly ill. its almost an obsession at this point rlly, i hope during this school break i get to idk forget all of this only think abt my fav games and kpop groups and women and get thru it but damn wtf.

tldr i have lots of violent thoughts but only abt very specific ppl i hate a bunch.

(also plsss feel free to tell me abt yalls own experiences and tell me if this is a sign of idk me being rlly miserable and NO im not a sociopath or smth bc ive never shown signs of having one of those antisocial disorders idk the name of but i know i dont have those, cause if i did my therapist wouldve probably noticed yk???)