#i hurt my own heart writing this!

[dreamofbecoming]

y’all i literally never have omegaverse thoughts but here i am having omegaverse thoughts (i blame witcher fic, characters who can smell emotions are just too damn juicy *shakes fist* ineeeeex!)

omegaverse fics where characters can parse individual emotions from specific people in addition to a personal base scent are confusing for me, logistically. you know? like as a trope, they’re amazing and convenient and they lead to fascinating little complications in communication and i eat that shit up with a spoon, but like. how does it work??

so then i’m thinking, okay, obviously it’s something you pick up naturally using cues from your family as a child, and your friends and classmates as your social circle widens as you age. the way we pick up slang or body language irl, right? that could work. you know what happiness smells like because it’s what your mother smells like when your dad comes home with flowers. you know what sadness smells like when your friend at school is allergic to chocolate so they can’t have any of benji’s birthday cupcakes. that kind of thing. but it’s all semi-unconscious, and some people have gaps as they grow up because they’ve never been exposed to something before

my point being, where is my fic where steve is driving dustin to the snowball and he gives the kid a few last minute pieces of advice and promises to be there to pick him up later and dustin gives him that big bright gummy smile and the car fills up with…what the hell is that? i mean it smells good? but steve’s never smelled anything like it. maybe in passing, but never directed at him and definitely not so strong. the hell is this kid feeling?

and he doesn’t ask, doesn’t want to look stupid, so he just tells dustin not to do that weird growling thing again and boots him out of the car, but he keeps smelling it. on dustin, mostly, but also the other kids sometimes, once even on mrs. henderson when she had to work an overnight and he told her it was no trouble at all to stay on the couch and keep dusty company. and it’s so weird and he doesn’t understand it at all but it doesn’t seem bad, or dangerous, so it’s probably fine?

and then he asks robin out on a bathroom floor and gets shot down immediately, and he pivots on a dime and rearranges his whole worldview for her in about ten seconds, and he’s halfway through a chorus of total eclipse of the heart when that scent swells again, soured a little by the drugs but big enough to fill the whole bathroom. and he doesn’t ask until after, until all the dust is settled and things are calm even if they’re broken beyond repair, but he doesn’t mind looking stupid in front of robin, really, so it’s okay to ask.

and she gives him this look, like he just took his nailbat to her heart, and then she flings herself at him and hugs him tighter than anyone ever has in his life, and she explains. and then he’s crying too

where is my fic where steve doesn’t know what love smells like

(well, turns out the fic is here)

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

This drabble is born from a really angsty brain riot with Bonten's origins, that happened to me after reading this words from @just-sp-in-inginthevoid :

"Bonten is a memorial for Izana, its symbol, its members’ tattoo come from Izana’s earrings and the (天) ten of Bonten 梵天 from Tenjiku 天竺, the (梵) bon of Bonten 梵天 comes from Brahman 梵. (...) There’s no need for Senju to have the same role as Izana in Bonten if she’s not dead."

(I always pictured Senju being death in that timeline, but the reality of the kanjis being literally THAT... ajfshgsjgejgrjg, the pain of this. Wakui, you know how to break us every timeline! 😭)

Bonten was born from pain.

(drabble of the day that Bonten was created)

Warnings: I'm so sorry, this is just angst and hurt/no comfort. I wrote it as an attempt of coping with canon and how painful is Bonten timeline when you actually look closer to it. It's from Koko's POV and everyone is just broke and devastated in their own way. Again, I'm so sorry :(

(English is not my first language, so be nice please 🙈)

Most people think Bonten is synonymous with fear.

But they are all wrong. Kokonoi knows better.

Bonten is synonymous with pain, it was born in it.

He still remembers the day that Bonten was created, even if it wasn't the official date, any of the executives would pinpoint the exact same moment.

Probably, only Koko could actually offer a coherent narrative of that night. The only outsider of all the chaos unraveling in front of him.

He still has nightmares of what he saw. But is not what happened what haunts him, no. Is the voices, the faces surrounding him.

Wakasa covered in blood, his eyes looking completely empty. His blank stare, like he couldn't believe who this blood belonged to. Benkei's hand on his friend shoulder, tearing up like a baby.

Takeomi curled up in the floor, sobbing next to his sister's body. Saying “it should've been me” over and over, the older man stuck in a loop of guilt and denial.

The former members of Tenjiku looking shocked, not moving a finger for what was supposed to be their gang, their leader. Koko spent enough time with them to know that, even if they were ruthless, seeing the leader of another gang being shot like that... Was too familiar.

Anyone who looked at them could see they never agreed with that. The ghost of Izana Kurokawa still lingered over them.

Kakucho was shaking, his lips trembling. The rain and the blood mixing with red snow in the scarred boy's mind.

The Haitani brothers unconsciously getting closer to each other. Ran pulling his arm around Rindou in a protective way, the younger one allowing it without complains. Both of them staring at Sanzu, terrified with the possibility of being on the pinkette boy place.

Sanzu's screams were the worst of it. The excruciating pain in his voice while he was holding Senju's body. His little sister's body. How he looked at Takeomi, tears rolling down his cheeks, his gaze filled with hate when he spoke to his older brother “I agree, it should've been you.”

Mikey standing there, the void in his eyes while his knuckles kept dripping with South blood. The man's body at his feet.

That gaze, dark and lacking of any emotion. Pure void that swallowed everything around.

(That swallowed them, trapped them like moths that flied too close to the sun)

Bonten was born from pain.

Bonten grew in pain, thrived with it.

And, Kokonoi is sure that whatever destiny awaits for them...

Bonten will die in pain.

[shima-draws]

NOT THE KIERAN VILLAIN ARC I’M SO UPSETTI SPAGHETTI

[blinkpen]

beating myself to death with hammers (casually spitballing ideas for HYPOTHETICAL Bad Ends) for NO fucking reason, but be a pressure valve on my own current turbulent emotions, we are all so lucky i prefer happy endings and healing and shit long term, things have the potential to be fucking RUTHLESS otherwise

aauauururrrghghhhh here have a song too get annihilated with me losers i am choosing to channel my inner over-indulgent emo angst lord right now entirely of my own volition for i am immune to irony poisoning

[kikizoshi]

can we form a coup against asagiri and make you the writer instead? genuinely... I am not taking the Fyodor immortal information well.. please help............................ ( ´，_ゝ` )

Oh, I would absolutely not do BSD well either. I just wish Asagiri had stuck to his roots more. He was a great comedy writer, and the beginning of the story was great for it. It's the action and Death Note stuff he can't seem to get mastery of. But for the immortal part: I'm not entirely sold that Fyodor's immortal, yet. It seems like yet another twists that will twist to reveal oh, shocker, he faked his memories to confuse Sigma/the ADA... or something. Could very well be immortal, but not 100% guaranteed.

[oshiawaseni]

When Katsuki was fallen on the ground…. he probably thought about Izuku rushing to his side and offering his hand to help pick him back up like he’s always done since they were kids

Katsuki needed to see his hero’s kind hand now more than ever... but it wasn’t there, at it’s usual place, outstretched and waiting for him… and he started crying because he realised that Izuku wasn't coming to save him this time…

so Katsuki focused all his resolve on doing his best to be strong for Izuku instead.

“Don’t give up, Dynamight! The guy you’re waiting for will… Deku will definitely come!”

[go-catch-a-chickn]

but this is not the end

Newt in death, is not smiling, but there’s no furrowed brow either, no stress painted on his face. He has nothing to worry about anymore. Sonya has no idea what the future holds for them, but she hopes that Newt has gone to a place as dreamy and safe as the island they are headed to. She doesn’t want his soul to miss out on paradise.

Sonya expected to go to Safe Haven with her brother at her side, but then everything goes wrong. They never get to reunite as siblings and it leaves Sonya heart broken upon the arrival at Safe Haven. When Sonya is given Newt's necklace it brings her unexpected comfort.

or: Newt is a ghost in the Safe Haven

written as a secret santa gift for @astralpenguin 💖💫

read on ao3

[blob-blobsworld]

„You came back in distant memories. You came back in my dreams. You came back, when no one was around me, and you came back when I was in a crowded room. You always came back, but I could never see you.“

[seiya-starsniper]

.

[soupbtch]

uh oh it’s “getting emotional about ed teach” o’clock again

[ghostbustermelanieking]

for anyone who follows me and writes, fanfiction or original stuff... is it normal for pretty much no one in your personal in-person life to be interested in your writing? like i've got people who might read the odd short story i wrote, but usually if i ask someone to read something they just never do, and i never have anyone asking me about it, so like... is that normal?? does the average person not care if their friend or family member is working on a novel?

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

Well... I was having brain riot and making fun of Sanzu's silliest moment ever (the train xD), because I always thought it was hilarious that he planed something so chaotic that could go so wrong so easily (yeps, ignoring the implications of who he was willing to sacrifice for Mikey). And suddenly, I thought "What if no one stopped him and everything went the worst way possible?"

And bam, this drabble was in my mind and I needed to write it and share this pain. I'm so sorry.

Hits Different

(this is a train wreck)

(drabble)

(link to ao3 in case some one preferes to read it there)

Summary: Apparently, when it comes to the Sanos a train wreck and a plane crash aren't that different.

Warnings: Manga Spoilers. Angst. Hurt/No Comfort. I'm pretty sure the summary itself is a big warning of where this is going. Expect only pain and a broken Sanzu. I'm so sorry, really.

(English is not my first language, so be nice please 🙈)

Sanzu looks around, a big grin on his face. He did it, he managed to derail the train and ran over the pests that dared to compare themselves to his king.

Their irritating noise sounds a lot better turned into screams while he walks katana in hand, admiring his work. A familiar pink hair tries to steal his attention from the corner of his eye, but Sanzu doesn't stop. He's an only child, why would he care to check if she's even breathing?

There is only one thing that matters, only one focus on his mind amongst the bloodshed that he created. Mikey. Making Mikey proud, being finally acknowledged for what he's capable of doing. Earning his rightful place next to the king.

Sanzu turns his head when he hears an annoying voice screaming. Hanagaki. That fucking cockroach survived. He approaches to him, clenching his hand around the katana, decided to finish the job.

He's going to do it, he feels the adrenaline, a smirk plastered on his face now that he's finally close enough. Close enough to recognize the blonde head sticking out of Hanagaki's arms.

No.

No. It can't be. No, no, no, no. How? This can't be, Mikey was on the top of a container, he planed everything, he made sure, he... No, no, no!

Suddenly, reality hits him and Haruchiyo's world comes crashing down. Whatever delusion was feeding his mind disappears, he can't breathe. He looks around gasping for air and all he can see is blood, body parts scattered around. People screaming in pain, the smell of death.

Wakasa. Benkei. Senju.

Senju.

It's a fucking carnage and it's his fault. This was what he wanted. But it wasn't, it wasn't, this is not what it was supposed to happened. Why is this happening?

Haruchiyo's body collapses, his legs don't answer him anymore. The katana falls to the ground next to him. He pukes, completely horrified by the views. He's breaking, shaking, crying, unable to control himself.

“Mikey... No... He wasn't supposed to be down here...Mikey...”

His voice is weak, the words don't even make sense between whimpers. But Hanagaki looks at him, still hugging Mikey's body, something indiscernible in that pair of eyes that burns Haruchiyo's soul.

“Mikey isn't dead, he's still breathing. He was on top of that container, but he fell when the train...” Hanagaki stops, seemingly trying to pull himself together. “Mikey fell and hit his head. I'm gonna take him to the hospital, you can help or get out of my way, I don't fucking care anymore, but I'm taking him to the hospital. Are we clear?”

Haruchiyo just nods, allowing the hero to pass next to him with Mikey's body hanging on his arms. A chill runs down his spine when he feels it. When he feels that again. In that exact moment, he knows. Mikey is never going to wake up, he will whiter for years before finally dying.

'Laugh, Haruchiyo'

A maniacal laughter escapes his mouth. The universe is mocking at him, the cycle repeating itself.

It was always going to end like this, wasn't it?

[tcfactory]

What do you think about the whole rapist Bingqiu situation? You made a comment about it under one of your posts.

Okay, this is going to be a bit long. The tl;dr. is: I really don't care either way tbh.

On the comment I kinda jumped the gun a bit, because I recently got my hands on the books (finally, they were supposed to get here in December) and I read the extras first, because I haven't read them before and was too curious about them. And I really quite dislike the Wedding extra, but I dislike it because I don't enjoy how MXTX writes sex scenes in general, not because of anything it's about. Is the scene rape? Eh no, on second read Shen Qingqiu never withdraws his consent, despite having a shit time. Having a bad first time w/ shit communication is not a crime, especially between these two idiots.

Would Binghe have stopped if he did withdraw his consent and outright told him to stop? I don't really think so, no. Like, you can say all you want about Shen Qingqiu never being direct with what he wants and playing hard to get and wanting to be coaxed along with this gay shit, but that's something we, the readers, know. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't remember it ever being established as something that Binghe knows for sure - and with how hot and cold Shen Qingqiu was to him all this time, how he still hides behind his masks even at the end, I don't think "I just assumed you were playing hard to get" is good enough. So the possibility of him hurting Shen Qingqiu despite not meaning to is still very much there. Ignoring the withdrawal of consent is still rape regardless of Binghe's intentions - and we all know how deep Shen Qingqiu can get in his own head when he thinks about denying Binghe something he feels that 'the protagonist deserves' now that he regards himself as the harem stand-in, he would not fight him off if Binghe seems adamant to have him even if he says no.

And honestly that's fine. It's one of those things they need to work on post-canon. You could write a pretty neat hurt-comfort fic around it imo, of Binghe getting so jealous one day that he falls in that pitfall, and the reparations and open direct communication they need to do afterwards. Or just ignore it altogether, let Binghe's protagonist halo prevent any serious misunderstanding in the future. These are characters, not real people. Their dynamic is weird enough that you can just as easily write them a happy post-canon relationship or a situation where their respective habits of hiding their true selves from each other and Shen Qingqiu unintentionally encouraging the worst in Binghe culminates in something awful down the line. Nobody actually gets hurt one way or the other.

[anidealistatbestburntoutatworst]

kunikidazai and shakespeare,,, what a duo

i leave it to the imaginative little ppl reading this to come up with a preface

dazai: “i love you, kunikida”

kunikida *brows furrowing a yearnfull sadness coming over him*: “dazai- you say you love rain, but yet you open your umbrella. you say you love the sun, but you always find a spot in the shadows. you say you love the wind, but you close your windows the first you hear of its rustling . these reasons dazai, are why i am afraid when you say that you love me too.”

[add1ctedt0you]

Can someone tell me... What I am supposed to do now?

[archirdarchernar]

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