#i just ate a kiwi like an apple and it was good

[illegiblehandwriting1]

humans are funny because we like to eat things that want to eat us. And sometimes it's happening simultaneously, like kiwi and pineapple

[goodluckclove]

I'm having a lot of fun talking with people about why they struggle in their writing, and I figure I'd share a little bit about what would keep me from writing. It's especially relevant given how soon Blind Trust is coming out - and, like I said, if you're willing to be real to me I'll be real right back.

I'll put it under a read more, as I've had the amount of alcohol that it takes me to be extra loose - meaning half of one canned cocktail. And I don't want to freak anyone out who doesn't want to see me feel a little more angsty than I tend to be online. But as I said before, I want to be honest about the craft as much as I urge others to be.

Here we goooo. Say goodbye to proper capitalization babies, Dad's getting funky.

so i started writing when i was twelve years old. i wrote carnation, a 10k word zombie novella about thinly-veiled representations of me and my two best friends at the time fighting zombies. it wasn't very good. i never wrote anything before. i enjoyed it though, so i proceeded to keep writing, near-constantly for the next fifteen years.

here's the thing, though, and it's something i don't see a lot of elder writers talk about. probably because it's not a super pleasant thing to hear, but i'm pretty sure i could pull it off.

uh, my name is clove gardener. i'm twenty-seven years old now. and i do not think i'm that good of a writer.

i don't think i'm bad. i mean, i've been published. i've worked as a copywriter and a ghostwriter. i've written for work for a few years now, so - like - objectively it must be passable. i don't hate my writing. i think it's accessible, which is cool. but if you were to ask me hey do you think you're a good writer? i would skirt around the question without answering directly until i could figure out a way to change the subject.

at this point i don't think that's going to go away. the improvement, though, has been that i barely think about that anymore. it's like there's a little dipshit in the back of my head, and occasionally he will hiss-whisper this is shit what are you doing until I find a way to shut him up.

i kind of feel like that's just the thing that happens when you're a writer. it's the camp i'd rather be in, at least. because the alternative is that i'm a really good writer who might consider themselves capable to claim authority and tell you how to do things i actually know nothing about. i'd rather have doubt. maybe less than what i have now, but still.

writers, i think, overlap with theater kids in the sense of being dramatic little piss babies. i am proud to say that i am significantly less of a piss baby than i potentially could be, especially considering that i'm in writing and theater. but you're bound to be a little dramatic at some point.

i think in the six-ish months since i've started blind trust, i've had maybe two creative existential crises. that's pretty good. that's reasonable. and they were not too unproductive either. i've learned that you can feel whiny and pitying and scared and self-loathing, and still do the thing.

i don't think you should publish your book. cool, ryan (i named my inner dipshit ryan). i'm doing it anyway.

nobody actually wants to pay money for it. yeah, ryan. maybe.

you're a terrible writer. i like it, though. i want to see how it ends. so let's keep going.

if you're wanting to publish/self-publish, and you think you don't have a chance because you aren't a beacon of self-assurance and confidence - guess what, buddy, i don't think many of the greats were. it's almost a stereotype i've seen of famous writers also being angsty weirdos who crumble into despair because the apple they ate was slightly too mealy (this is based on nothing but i can see it happening to kafka). if you think you can't be a writer because you aren't like me - friend, colleague, son, daughter, child, we are both angsty weirdos and that's okay.

last week i sobbed because riley showed me a video where a kiwi bird was sad and we had to spend the rest of the night watching videos of kiwi birds before donating to a kiwi bird charity. i make one phone call to the doctor and i have to lie down for the rest of the day. i am kind, i am fun, i am funny, and i am also like three bad dice rolls away from a breakdown. you can be both of those things. i have nuance.

i'm fine, by the way. it's been a good day. i'm just stressed about publishing because the thought of asking people to pay Human Currency for my work makes me deeply uncomfortable. but we're going to fucking deal with that, aren't we, ryan?

i don't know if this is unprofessional to reveal, but if it convinces one person to pursue a life in writing even though they sometimes take a trip to the Panic Zone, fuck it. i'm fine, you're fine, we're all going to be fine.

we should name our inner dipshits. drop your dipshit names below. ryan is your classic little goblin, but he's dressed like an e-boy. i think he vapes. i hate him.

[ilyjerome]

i want you to catch a cold with me <3

pairing; yang jungwon x gender neutral reader! ☆彡

genre; fluffy fluff

prompt; jungwon fell sick, so being the best partner u are, you decide to try to give him breakfast in bed (so cute) ☹️

lowercase intended, not proofread kinda rushed lol

————————————————————————————

you woke up early today. you had slept early so you’d wake up before him, even while sick, he always managed to wake up before you.

you looked over to your side to see your boyfriends figure sleeping peacefully - his cheeks tinted with a rosey pink and his mouth slightly agape with his chest rising up and down. he looked so cute it made you giggle :((

you finally got up and tip-toed over to your kitchen, what could you make for him? - you decided on pancakes and cutely cut up fruit. (i have no idea what people eat for breakfast) you didn’t wanna go through the process of baking them so you just used the pancakes from the store, and you took the grapes, apples, kiwis and a dragonfruit out the fridge to cut up into hearts for him :)

you take the skin off the grapes, skin the apple and cut it up into many skinny pieces and some hearts, make small dragonfruit and kiwi hearts with your cookie cutter you use for xmas. it looked so aesthetically pleasing and you were so proud of yourself

also making a glass of water for him, you walk back over to your bedroom and slowly to open the door to his still-sleeping figure, he hadn’t moved an inch. you placed the glass on his bedside table while placing the plate on your lap as you sat by him - you moved a hair out of his face, and shook his shoulder.

“jungwon~” … “jungwonn~” he groaned and rubbed his eyes, straightening his back and sitting up a little - “good morning” “morning my love, i made you breakfast” a smile grew on his face as you handed him the plate, he giggled “this is cute. thank you” he reached over to rub your arm as a thank you, “you’re welcome. there’s water here for you too, call me when your done and i’ll take the plate. i’ll be in the living room” you flashed him a smile and left the room.

you heard his shout for you, but it hadn’t even been 3 minutes- you basically forbid him to leave the bed unless he needs to shower or use the toilet and he didn’t mind it. as you opened the door you noticed he left the fruit, “yeah? do you not want it?” you sat on your side of the bed scooting closer, you rubbed his forehead - “you’ll be better soon wonie :)” “i hope so.. i don’t like being so tired all the time. i can’t spend time with you” “but, don’t you want the fruit? they’ll make you feel better, my love is infused in them, can’t you tell?” he flashed you a face, “i wanted to eat them with you”

“won.. you need them more than me, they have nutrients that will make you get better and feel better, plus there’s more in the fridge if i want some.” he moved the bed covers for you to get under them with him. and you did, leaning your head on his shoulder and picking up a piece of fruit and putting it in his mouth. he tried to do the same, but you said no.

“y/n” you hummed in response, “can you look at me?” you sat up and turned your body to him. “what?” he quickly pecked your lips, leaving you in shock and covering them - “yang jungwon! i’m going to be sick!” he laughed. “yeah. i want you to catch a cold with me.” “shut up and eat your fruit.” jungwon giggled at your cuteness and tried to feed you one, you ate it of course, you can’t say no to him after that.

you fed him one of the last pieces of fruit after he ate (most) of them, until you said his name and turned to him. “i’ll catch a cold with you.” you grabbed his cheeks and kissed him, you could feel him smiling throughout it and while you pulled away, you could see the rosey pink tint in his cheeks come back.

————————————————————————————

[drpeppertummy]

Could we possibly have juicy writing from your a-z stuffing with Leon? uwu♡♡♡♡

ok this turned out so uneventful but i wanted to Not give him a killer tummyache for once😭😭😭 anyways Thank U 4 This i love using leon hes my friend

[stuffing, brief allusions to alcoholism & unhealthy body image]

Leon scooped the pile of freshly chopped strawberries into his hand and dropped them into the bowl. More than a few of them had disappeared into his tummy before the process was through, but that was alright; there was more than enough for the fruit salad. Humming softly to himself, he fished a couple apples out of the bag and began peeling them.

Shel and Angela were coming over later that day. It wasn't an out-of-the-ordinary plan; the three of them were always palling around at one of their houses, but Leon had decided on a whim to make a fruit salad for the occasion. He'd gone out and bought a variety of fruits: apples, bananas, grapes, berries, kiwis, even a quarter of a watermelon. As he'd shopped, he'd found himself feeling excited at the thought of making the salad. It wasn't often that Leon really prepared anything in the kitchen beyond frozen dinners, having little energy or motivation to care for himself these days, but now, as he stood at the counter chopping the fruit, he felt good.

As he chopped, it also began to dawn on Leon just how infrequently he made fresh fruit a part of his diet. He lived mostly on beer, cold pizza, and quick microwaveable meals--in that order--the exceptions being the times Shel dragged him out for some proper food. Good vegetables were rare, and good fruit was even rarer. He sliced up the apples and ate a slice before going across to dice the rest. Then, he ate a couple of the cubes before tossing the rest into the bowl.

Leon went on like this as he chopped. He knew he'd gone overboard at the store; if every bit of fruit went into the salad, it would be too much for the three of them to go through. Therefore, he reasoned, it was perfectly fine to nibble as he went. He did, after all, have to make sure it tasted good. He began peeling the kiwis, and, realizing he'd bought too many, ate a whole one while he chopped the rest. He moved on to the grapes, carefully plucking them from their stems and periodically popping one or two into his mouth as he put the rest in the bowl. He ate a good number of blueberries while he sifted through them to remove the bad ones, and a handful of banana slices as well.

Leon began to feel full about halfway through this process, but the allure of the fruit was irresistible, and by the time he got to the watermelon, he was feeling a little stuffed. He unwrapped the hunk of watermelon and began cutting it up. In spite of his full tummy, he couldn't resist eating a little piece as he chopped. And then another. And another still. It was a good-sized piece of melon, and by the time Leon was done dicing it up, even without the pieces he'd eaten, there was far too much for the salad. He added enough to make it look proportionate, then pondered the little pile of melon cubes left on his cutting board. His belly felt taut and bloated, but it didn't ache, and despite how full he felt, the melon was still immensely alluring. He supposed it couldn't hurt to eat a little.

He made it about halfway through the melon chunks before realizing just how stuffed he felt. What made him realize this was his tightly rounded-out belly bumping against the counter. He looked down, surprised. He'd started this task on a nearly-empty stomach, and while his tummy hadn't exactly been flat, it certainly hadn't been poking out as far as it was now. He felt a little silly for having eaten so much, but he didn't feel as bad as he would've had it been greasy takeout or one of his other usuals; at least fruit was healthy, and it sat easier in his stomach than a bunch of cold pizza or a big pork roll sandwich. Still, he was beyond full now, and his belly felt tight and stretched.

Leon turned away to find something to put the remaining melon in, then hesitated. He looked back at the cutting board. He'd eaten enough of it that there was only a tiny bit left, and it seemed silly to dirty up a container just for a few chunks of fruit. He supposed he could toss them in with the rest of the salad, but there was already so much watermelon in the bowl; he didn't want it to crowd out all the other fruit. He placed a hand on his tummy. It was round and firm, bulging out and pulling the soft fabric of his T-shirt taut. After a moment of hemming and hawing, Leon finally gave in and ate the last of the melon.

Finishing off the melon may have been a mistake, but it wasn't a bad one. His tummy felt drum-tight now, stuffed just about to its limit and sitting right on the brink of discomfort, but it didn't hurt. Resting one hand on it, he put a lid on the salad and stuck it in the fridge. He set the cutting board in the sink and nearly left it there, but, visions of ants in his mind, decided to wash it. His belly pressed against the counter as he did, and despite his best efforts, his shirt was wet by the time he finished.

Not caring at all for the chilly damp fabric clinging to him, Leon headed to his room to change his shirt. He tried not to look at his reflection as he pulled off the wet one, but he caught a quick glimpse of himself before turning away from the mirror and was shocked at how far his belly stuck out. He didn't think he'd eaten all that much, but he supposed all the here-and-there bites had to add up eventually. He threw on a soft sweater that he'd had for decades. It was a little worn out, but it was loose and comfortable, and he hoped it might conceal his distended tummy a little more than the snug T-shirt had.

With the salad made, the kitchen in order, and a fresh dry outfit, Leon returned to the living room. It was a little after noon; Angela and Shel would be over within the hour. He would almost certainly be too full to eat any of the fruit salad himself, but that would be alright. He'd eaten plenty of fruit for one day, and he could enjoy his share of it later. Ready for a break, Leon sat down on the couch, stretched a bit, then leaned back and settled into the cushion, hands resting comfortably on his full belly.

[risquefanfics457]

The kiwi

“Today is the day.” I toss open the curtains.

“Ughh…” Josuke rolls over in bed, “The day for what?”

I put my hands on my hips, “Joanna is 22 months old! Today is the day we start potty training!”

Josuke shields his eyes from the sun, “It’s so early… oh well, have fun.”

“Fun is not the objective today, sweetheart! Today is about progress!”

“You’re right. My objective today is to get up.”

I giggled, “But you’ve done that a thousand times before.”

“Yeah, but it’s still pretty hard to do.”

I lean over the bed and kiss his forehead, “Good luck then.”

“Good morning, sweetie pie!” I lift the blind from her window.

Joanna blinks sleepily from her crib.

“I made such a yummy breakfast for you! I’ve got some breakfast sausage, apple juice, and cereal and today we are trying kiwi!”

I reached my arms out to her. She looked at me and reluctantly pulled herself up.

“I’m so excited for you, Jojo. We’re going to do so much today!”

.She yawned and rubbed her eyes.

I took her downstairs and plunked her into her highchair before setting the tray out for her. As she always does, she grabbed her juice first. 

“Don’t be scared to try the kiwi, you’ve had to before in puree, but you’ve never tried it on its own.”

She put down the bottle and looked skeptically at the fruit.

I smiled expectantly at her. “Yummy, yummy!”

She glanced back down at her food again and ate the other stuff but stayed clear of the kiwi.

Once it was the only thing left on her tray, she lifted her arms to let out, 

“All gone.” She exclaimed.

“Uh, hey, why don’t we try this?” I nudged it toward her.

She pulled away as much as she could and pouted, “No dank you.”

“But it’s my favourite, and you’re my duaghter.” I pleaded, I took a piece and ate it, smiling, “It’s so good! Yum!”

She pushed the remaining pieces toward me. 

“Uh, no no. I don’t want it. It’s for you!”

“Is for you.” She replied, copying me.

I mentally kicked myself. If breakfast was going to be a battle, what was the rest going to look like?

.........

“Yeah, just sit down and go pee.”

She looked totally perplexed.

“It’s easy, it’s just like your diaper, but cleaner and I don’t have to change you,” I said wistfully.

She looked as lost as she did a minute ago

“You know what? You probably don’t need to go.” I pulled her pants up and let her go. She got up and ran excitedly down the hall to go find something to play with.

I watched her as she went, and with every step, it seemed her diaper got more full and saggy.

I threw my arms up, exasperated, “Oh come on!” 

“How many tries is that?”

I looked up exhausted at my husband Josuke who stood against the frame of the bathroom door.

“5 now.”

He laughed with his cup of coffee in hand. “Wow, you are determined.” He reached his other arm toward me to help me off of the bathroom floor.

“Not as much as I was earlier.” I dusted myself off.

“Well, it isn’t easy.”

“Well, it should be.” I crossed my arms defiantly, “It’s not hard to do.”

“Maybe that’s because she’s more like me than we first thought.”

“Why do you say that?” 

He took a sip of his coffee, “Because it took me ages to finally get out of bed, and because this is my second cup this morning.”

I looked at him, confused as to how they related.

He laughed, “Maybe it’s because it’s too early. Let her do things at her pace.”

“But, some parents said that she should be starting potty training now.”

“Yeah, sure. But a lot of other people say that children all run their own race. She’ll do it when she’s ready.”

I lean against him, “Okay.”

“By the way, you left Kiwi on the counter, can you move it? I hate the way it feels if I touch it. So slimy.” He shuddered

“God, you really are her dad.”

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

069 of 2024

The Green Survey 💚

by joybucket

1. List three things you can see in the room you're in right now that are green. Boxes with things we sell in our shop, index notes, a "lucky tree" made of little green crystals.

2. What is your favorite Green Day song? Their cover of Working Class Hero, I think they did a very good job with it.

3. What is your favorite shade of green? Neon green, army green, lime green.

4. What is your least favorite shade of green? Sage green.

5. What is your favorite green vegetable? Broccoli.

6. What is your least favorite green vegetable? Spinach.

7. Did you grow up watching Veggie Tales? 🥒🍅 I don't think so. The name doesn't ring the bell.

8. Name someone you know who is vegan. Someone I know online, she makes vegan food and often posts pictures.

9. Would you ever dye your hair green? Why or why not? Yeah, I had green before. I still like unnatural hair colours.

10. Name three people you know who have green eyes. My dad (greenish grey if it counts), my sister (same colour), and one of the doctors at the hospital I go to. Green is pretty rare, you know.

11. Do you have Lyme disease? 🦠 Not that I know of, I hope not.

12. Which of these flavors do you like best: kiwi, lime, or green apple? Kiwi, but it hurts my tongue.

13. Which of these fictional characters do you like best: Kermit the Frog, Gumby, Oscar the Grouch, Frankenstein, or Larry the Cucumber? I'm only familiar with Kermit, so Kermit by default.

14. What was the last time you ate that was green? Broccoli, long ago.

15. What was the last thing you drank that was green? Some kind of juice, I think kiwi.

16. When was the last time you sat in the grass? Also long time ago. It triggers my allergies.

17. What are three of your favorite things you own that are green? One cargo pants (emerald green, goes well with black), 

18. Would you rather celebrate Christmas or St. Patrick's Day? Christmas is the one we celebrate here.

19. What is your favorite type of tree? Pine tree, birch, linden tree.

20. Do you take medicine for nausea every day? No, but I have some motilium just in case I feel nauseous, so I don't vomit my medication (not like it happens anyway, I rarely feel nauseous at all).

22. Are you wearing anything green right now, and if so, what? No, but I had a mint green t-shirt with Marie from The Aristocats before.

23. Do you know anyone who can do a perfect impression of Kermit the Frog? No, I can't think of anyone.

24. Which of these names do you like best for a girl: Sage, Kelly, Olive, Emerald, or Ivy? All of them are okay.

25. Do you enjoy gardening? 🧑‍🌾 I did when I was younger, I was helping my dad.

26. Would you rather eat key lime pie, mint chocolate chip ice cream, or green tea flavored ice cream? Key lime pie sounds interesting, I'd love to try it.

27. Which of these names do you like best for a girl: Holly, Summer, Forest, Teal, or Aqua? Holly, definitely.

28. What are three of your favorite things to put on a salad? 🥗 Lettuce, green peas, chicken bits.

29. Do you like green tea? 🍵 No, the taste is too bland for me.

31. Do you know anyone who can't tell the difference between blue and green? Yeah, my husband. He's colourblind.

32. Can you bend your tongue into a clover? ☘️ I can't. I've heard it's a genetically-coded thing, so you can't learn it; either you have that ability or not.

33. Would you rather spend a year in Ireland 🇮🇪, Pakistan 🇵🇰, or Brazil 🇧🇷 ? Why? Ireland or Brazil, but Brazil tends to be hot. Ireland sounds best, it's not far from me either.

32. Which one of these words would you say describes you best: envious, nature lover, nauseating, health-conscious, or veggie lover? Veggie lover and nature lover.

33. What are three ways in which you feel you've grown as a person in the last three years? I started appreciating my life more after I suffered a stroke, I've become more chill about what the future brings, I stopped worrying too much (I still do, but way less and it's a relief).

34. Which one of these careers sounds the most appealing to you: farmer 🧑‍🌾 , naturopath, gastroenterologist, environmental scientist, or Irish dancer? Environmental scientist. 

35. What are three of your favorite foods to eat that are green? Broccoli, lettuce, green peas. Bonus 4th thing, leek.

36. What are three of your favorite things to drink that are green? Honestly, I can't think of any.

37. Have you ever met anyone with the last name Green? Only the local variant in my language: De Groene, which means green.

38. What are three of your favorite types of plants? Palm trees, spider plants, roses.

39. Do you own any succulents? Only fake ones so my cat doesn't try to eat them.

40. Have you ever had a friend who was obsessed with Tinkerbell, and if so, what was her name? 🧚 No, never.

42. What are three things you don't like about nature? Too much rain, snakes (the only animal I truly dislike, I think), snow.

43. Do you enjoy camping? 🏕️ Not my thing on longer term.

44. What is your favorite thing about camping? Being in nature.

45. What is your least favorite thing about camping? Bugs, definitely.

46. When was the last time you went camping? Probably very long time ago.

47. What are three of the first things you would do if you won the lottery? 🤑 Buy a house, buy an apartment that I can rent, travel around the world.

50. What are three things you like that are green that haven't been mentioned? Emeralds, Brussels sprouts, dill.

[ao3writers-pls-love-me]

solangelo headcanons because talking is overrated

nico would be very into thriller and detective stuffs while will would be obsessed with stranger things and charlie's angels

the more nico spends time with will the more in sync and alike he is

*saw a cat* *both simultaneously raise hands and pull out cat treats*

will: "for real?!" nico: "for real?"

*taunting a monster* "your mama’s so hairy that when she went to see the new Star Wars movi-" "YEAH- and everyone thought Chewbacca was making a promotional appearance HA!"

"gods i wanna stuff a whole dragon in my stomach..." "..." "...and i want to eat this skrunkly little ham sandwich right here."

*nico looks at will* *will notices it and raises his eyebrows* *nico winks with both eyes* *will wiggles his fingers* *nico bites his tongue* *will makes witchy laughter* *nico sniffs his nose* "get a room." "stfu connor stoll."

small talks with nico and will feel awkward af, they prefer meaningful long conversations

silent is very important to them, to other campers it seems like they having beef but to nico and will that's true comfort

"hypothetically, what if i turned into a cat?" "then you would be the luckiest cat in the world." "oh-" "i would set this mortal realm on fire for you." "oh."

"remember when-" and they started sobbing violently

they would try to think abt how to compliment other demigods like clovis is such a attentive listener he slept through like half of my feelings or drew may seem a bit of an a-hole but she actually gave great skin care tips or lou turned an apple into a rat once and said 'that's similar to chocolate frogs in harry potter, try them out will!' and she was so funny i almost ate them fr

then they looked at percy and went nah that dude could devour a kiwi pizza and get poisoned instead

they often gave each other heart eyes

and nico would immediately get smack in the head by a camper because they were dueling

will would panic and then potato-shack nico to the infirmary right after

will claimed that nico really liked to sleep outside and thought it's romantic

minus the mosquito

they couldn't though because of harpies

but will would still help clearing out nico's cabin so that both of them could lay on the floor with much more opened space

nico felt like an idiot going along with it but lowkey appreciated having will there making dumb contented kekeke giggles because he thought nico like it

nico: you think i'm pretty?

will: w-what?

nico: do you think i'm pretty?

will: yeah..? i-i mean idk i guess you are? uh–sorry i mean yes–i mean very uh very pretty just um yeah so so–pretty like wow haha the most prettiest creature ever like woah

will: ...

will: i am so sorry

nico: no no don't be. that's really nice of you

will: ...

nico: thank you it's cute

will: ...gods are we like this right now?

nico: we're actually achieving relationship goals what can you have possibly meant?

will: well–alright i mean but are we doing it really–

nico: you're pretty too you know

will: w-woah wait

nico: you look so adorable right now i could cook you to medium rare

will: that's–

nico: you're so gorgeous i could slap your dad in the face because he created such a fine piece of work

will: o-oh

nico: you are absolutely beautiful oh my gods like i would happily snap the stolls legs just so you could be a little more self-aware of it will

will: nico i–you–goodness...

nico: ...

nico: dam you're right we are not having this at all. let's go outside and fight harpies and accidentally kiss and blame it on the adrenaline rush

will: chokes cutely

[cyxnidx]

Fruit Salad

pairing: izana x reader

warnings: none i guess?? soft izana? is that even a warning......

note: i wanna write more for izana, so request smt i guess. just no smut - i dunno his age and it says hes 18 but i refuse to believe that 😭 (if he is just correct me) also, hc that izana loves fruit salad????

summary: you and izana just discussing fruits and shit. basically hcs i have for him put into a scenario. fluff i suppose.

unlocking the door to your home, you saw Izana in the kitchen with fruits. apples, blueberries, kiwi, watermelon, grapes, cantaloupe and pineapples.

he looked up at you, a smile growing as he watched you close the door behind you. “helloo” he sang in a happy voice.

a soft smile formed as you walked toward him, analyzing the fruit on the table. “zana, where’s the honeydew?” you asked him. he looked at you dumbfounded. “i ‘ont like honeydew.” he said blankly.

you sighed. “but it tastes good in a fruit salad?”

he shook his head reluctantly. “it tastes kinda plain.. like bananas.” he said, thinking of the fruit. he didn’t like a lot of things. whether it was honeydew, bananas or the simple smell of cinnamon, which gave him a headache and led to him disliking the scent.

you hugged his side, smiling when you heard his heart beat. “you’re so picky.”

“no im not,” he whined. “s’ just my opinion.. i can’t help bananas taste so.. weird.” the disgust was heard in his voice. he despised bananas.

“yeah, well, how about coconuts?” you asked him. he hummed. “ive never had them.. ive heard they’re good though.”

“have you had dragon fruit?” he took a minute to think. “i probably did. isn’t it like a green and pink-ish fruit?”

you nodded, removing yourself once he stopped moving so he could get a fork for his salad. “yeah-” you said, stopping yourself mid-sentence.

“you use a fork for a fruit salad?” you asked. he looked at you sideways. “how many times are you going to seem,, different, today?”

you looked at him wide-eyed. “rudeness!”

he chuckled. “no,, is it not normal to use a fork for a salad?”

“for a normal salad, yeah. not a fruit salad.” you said, arms crossed. “why not?” he pushed. “because it’ll be hard to get the grapes and blueberries!” you pouted.

he blinked at you and picked up the fork, stabbing one of the blueberries. “are you sure its just hard for you to pick it up?”

you felt yourself heat up under embarassment. “well try the grapes! they’re harder!” you fussed. he ate the blueberry, stabbing a grape and holding it up to show you.

“y/n,, do i need to teach you how to eat grapes and blueberries with a fork?” he asked. you were at a lost for words, almost ready to make another suggestion, only for him to deny it.

“if you tell me to try it with chopsticks, im just gonna laugh at you.” he stated, eating a watermelon.

“i give up!” you complained. he watched as you left for your room. “you sure you don’t want any??” he asked, watching you leave.

“... do you want me to make you one?”

“please!” you replied through the door. he only smirked, setting his bowl down to make you a fruit salad as well.

[elisaphoenix13]

Bonding With Clay

Tony woke with a soft groan and rolled onto his side to throw his arm around Stephen and buried his nose in the back of his neck. He even hooked a leg over Stephen's and ground his hips against his ass until the younger man hugged and swatted back at him.

"Tony, no. There's a child in our bed and I have to go to Kamar-taj today." Stephen mumbles.

Tony cracks his eyes open and lifts his head to look over Stephen and sighs when he finds Valerie cocooned against the sorcerer. "Doesn't she have her own bed?"

"She had a nightmare."

"What about William?" Tony complains and Stephen chuckles.

"You know as well as I do that there are some things parents can do that siblings can't." The sorcerer pushes Tony's face away. "Go brush your teeth."

"Absolutely not. You have to suffer my morning breath now." Tony laughs and kisses Stephen. It only lasted a few seconds before the younger was pushing him away again with a look of disgust.

"I can even taste it!"

Tony laughs again and rolls back over to get out of bed and shuffle into their bathroom to brush his teeth. As he passed Lucy's crib, he found her wide awake and sitting up, patiently gnawing on her teething ring...which she fondly chucked at his head. It was her way of saying good morning and also her way of showing that she liked someone. Fortunately she only threw soft things at people. The more dangerous items were chucked at something random. Like the lab incident.

So he and Stephen considered themselves lucky. Of course they still tried to get her to stop, but she was stubborn like her parents. Lucy did what she wanted.

"Just a minute Lulu. I've been ordered to wash my mouth and you know how Mom is." Tony says and grabs his toothbrush. Lucy babbles in a way a baby might be offended and Tony looks into the bedroom to look at Stephen as he gets out of bed as well. "Y'hear that?"

"She always has something to say." Stephen scoffs as he fixes the blankets over Valerie. "It'll be you, Lucy, and Valerie today. The kids have school and classes, I have things to check on in Kamar-taj, and everyone else is busy."

Tony spits into the sink after rinsing and frowns. "I don't mind, but Val never seems to enjoy our time together."

"She's getting better." Stephen sighs.

It was true...for the most part. Valerie wasn't completely reliant on Stephen anymore ever since the twins came to live with them. She adored William, and of course she loved Tony, but she and her father had yet to find something to bond over. She loved reading and the piano like Stephen just like Lucy loved being in the lab with Tony. He would figure something out though. Maybe tough out sitting through The Little Mermaid for the fourteen hundredth time? That was Valerie's favorite movie.

"You taking the cloak?" Tony asks.

"Mmhmm." Stephen responds as he brushes his teeth.

"Athena?" Another noise of approval. "Right... we'll figure it out."

"Mmnnbbbftt!" Lucy babbles.

Tony leaves the bathroom and takes the baby out of her crib. "I heard you the first time, bossy."

"If that isn't evidence enough that she takes after you--" Stephen starts until Tony points at him.

"She could have just as easily gotten it from you Duchess."

Stephen chuckles and walks back over to the bed when Valerie sits up and rubs her eyes. While he got ready for the day and explained to the little girl that she would be spending the day with her father and sister, Tony got himself and Lucy ready for the day. His mind was already occupied with how he would spend the day with the girls since Valerie had no interest in the lab, and everything led to Disney movies and tea parties. Not that he had anything against either of those since he was used to it, but he had tried that before and Valerie just didn't seem as interested as she would usually be.

It sort of made him feel like a failure as a father. There had to be something they would enjoy doing together right? Hell, even Lucy enjoyed being run around by Thomas.

"What sounds good for breakfast topolina?" Tony asks as Valerie climbs down from the bed.

"Fwench toast."

Well, that was easy. "French toast it is." Tony says.

Stephen crouches in front of Valerie when he finishes getting dressed and brushes her hair back. "I'll be back later. Have fun with Daddy, okay?"

"Okay."

Stephen kisses her forehead and gets back up to grab his sling ring off the nightstand, and waits just long enough after opening a gateway to wait for Levi to fly into the room and hang on his shoulders. Then he and Athena were through the gateway and it closed behind him, leaving Valerie to stare forlornly at the space it had been. Tony gently pats her head before leading her out of the master bedroom.

"Where's Mooey? Why don't you go get him and you can help me with breakfast." Tony suggests.

"Can we have fwuit?" She asks softly.

"We sure can." Tony smiles. "We can even have some chocolate chips on our french toast if you want."

Valerie smiles and nods before skittering away to her room to find her stuffed cow. A smile from a promise if chocolate chips was a good start to their day, and he would make sure they had a fruit salad with all of her favorites. So with that thought in mind, he descends the stairs to the kitchen where he deposits Lucy into her high chair and answers her demands when she smacks her hands on her tray.

"You are your mother's daughter...but don't tell him I said that." Tony mumbles and searches through the cupboards for the baby cereal puffs. "Look at that! Apple cinnamon flavor, your favorite!"

He pulls out the container and opens it to pour a dozen pieces onto Lucy's tray and she immediately grabs one and pops it into her mouth, humming happily. Lucy would be fed some proper breakfast later, but the puffs would tide her over until he and Valerie cooked and ate their own food. When he started to grab all they would need to make breakfast, Valerie finally joined him with Mooey in one of her arms, and he grabbed a step stool for her to use.

He gave her the easier tasks such as cracking the eggs and putting some cinnamon in them before it was whisked, and while he cooked the french toast, she washed the fruit. Strawberries, grapes, bananas, and even some kiwi were thrown into a bowl after Tony helped her cut them into pieces, and Valerie carefully mixed them together before stepping down from the stool and carrying the bowl to the table. It was amazing how independent Valerie was already being in her own way. She loved helping any way she could and even got a little upset when something was beyond her capabilities. Like when Stephen got sick. She was able to help make him soup but not much else and hated that there wasn't more she could do to make her mommy feel better.

William had to distract her most of the time, and the other times he had to reassure her. Tony and Stephen didn't like the girls to go into their room if one of them were sick because they didn't want them to get sick too.

"Here we go. Piping hot toast with…" Tony makes a show of topping Valerie's french toast with a few chocolate chips and she giggles. "Chocolate chips as promised. Buon appetito."

"Tank you Daddy," Valerie says softly when he places the plate on the table in front of her. He cuts it up for her before kissing her temple and then gets his own plate before sitting across from her.

"Want syrup?" He asks and grabs the syrup dispenser he had filled with warm syrup and pours a little bit on her toast.

"Ba!" Lucy reaches out and Tony chuckles and puts a drop on his finger to stick in her mouth.

"There. Like it? You don't get anymore." Tony says as Lucy sucks on his finger.

Tony made quick work of his french toast and fruit so he could feed Lucy before she started to demand more syrup. He grabbed a jar of chicken and rice--which made him gag a little when he opened it-- and a spoon, then offered a spoonful to the infant. He really didn't understand how babies could like the meat purees. He didn't dare try it in case it tasted as bad as it smelled, and the vegetables weren't much better. Tony was seriously considering giving the task of feeding Lucy her meat and vegetables to the Avengers.

Or the boys if they misbehaved. He knew for a fact the smell hit Peter harder.

"All done." Valerie announces.

"Great job." Tony glances at her plate. "You sure polished your plate. Go ahead and go watch your movie while I finish feeding your sister."

"Kay."

Valerie gets down from her chair and grabs her plate, carrying it to the sink and carefully lifting it up to drop it in. She checked her hands to see if they needed to be washed, found them clean, and shuffled to the living room and asked Friday to put on her favorite movie. Tony smiled and finished feeding Lucy and cleaned her up before taking her to the playpen in the living room, and then returned to the kitchen to clean up the mess. With how quiet things were, Tony honestly would have forgotten that Valerie was even there. All he heard was the tv and Lucy...and the water running.

How Stephen and William remembered her when she was this quiet was nothing short of amazing, but the thought sounded terrible to him at the same time. He didn't forget about Valerie, not by a long shot, but if someone told him they came by and took her to do something, he would be inclined to believe them. But she was sitting on the couch with Mooey clutched in her arms when he finally finished cleaning up and sat on the couch next to her.

"So...I thought of an idea." Tony smiles when Valerie looks up at him.

"Idea?"

"Yup. I think Tibbs is around here somewhere and he's due for his next pedicure."

Valerie's eyes brighten and she giggles. "Dia and Cassie do that!"

"Well I think it's our turn."

The little girl hopped off the couch to go find the pet safe nail polish and Tony looked around for the cat. It didn't take long to find Tibbs dozing in a patch of sunlight on the floor and the feline protested with an annoyed meow when Tony scooped him up.

"I don't know why you bother throwing a fit." Tony snorts as he carries Tibbs back over to the coffee table where Valerie was already waiting. "What color is he getting today topolina?"

"Purple!"

Tony laughs. "Purple it is."

Once Tony sets Tibbs down, Valerie gently takes one of the cat's paws and carefully applies the polish to each nail. Tibbs, the ever chill cat, sat calmly after yawning and patiently let the little girl do his nails. He was more than used to letting the girls do stuff like this to him and knew eventually they would finish and let him go so Tony wasn't worried about him scratching. All the other animals got pedicures as well.

Even Emir.

"Tibbs gets tweats!" Valerie says after finishing.

"He sure does. You know where they are." Tony says and Valerie gets up to retrieve the cat treats.

She shook the bag as she returned from the lower cabinets in the kitchen, and Tony laughed when the cat's ears perked up. Tony helped his daughter open the bag and she grabbed a small handful which she held out and let Tibbs eat straight from her hand. While the cat purred contently, Tony glanced over at Lucy to find the baby fast asleep with her teething ring still in her mouth.

"Where's the Play-Doh Uncle Steve got you?" Tony asks and Valerie points towards her room. "Go get it. We'll make some sculptures."

"You too?" She asks.

"Me too. You can show me how to make flowers."

Once again, the little girl scurried away, leaving Tony with The Little Mermaid to fill the silence, but soon enough, Valerie came back with an armful of containers of Play-Doh. She sets them down on the coffee table before sitting on Tony's lap, and he smiles as she starts opening the containers and taking out the clay. They spent the next couple of hours shaping the clay into different things, from flowers to Tony's suits, until they were rudely interrupted by Lucy's teething ring. Specifically when it sailed into the air and hit the side of Tony's head.

"I'm guessing it's time for lunch." Tony snorts and lifts Valerie out of his lap, groaning as he gets up from the floor. "Daddy's getting too old for this."

"Burro di arachidi e gelatina?" Valerie requests.

"Yes ma'am. With milk." Tony says as he walks over to the playpen and picks up Lucy. He sniffs and grimaces. "After I change your sister."

Valerie wrinkles her nose. "Yucky."

"You said it. You finish your sculpture and then we can make lunch and watch a movie. Sound good?" Tony asks.

"Uh-huh."

Tony couldn't believe he was worried about this just this morning. He enjoyed playing with the clay with Valerie, and he was pretty sure she enjoyed herself too. He made a mental note to think of more things to do for the future days like this, with another side note to think of things that Lucy could eventually join in on. The baby was growing up fast and wouldn't be content to stay in the playpen forever.

"Phew." Tony reels back a little when he opens the baby's diaper once he gets her on the changing table in the master bathroom. "Are you taking lessons from Harley?"

[janetbrown711]

"how do you think this ends?"

Despite Lena’s hopes and dreams that when the morning came everything would feel as right in the world as it had when the little family had fallen asleep, it wasn’t true. When she awoke (for whatever reason, she was the first), she walked out of the room and was immediately surrounded by maids and servants pestering her with their endless questions. Of course, she knew why they were asking, she was supposed to be dead.

She did her best to explain the situation and told them that her mother had died in an avalanche at Acme Falls. This, however, made the situation worse, as then officials and advisors soon got word and started to try and plan things out with her, and Lena wanted none of it. It was early- hell, she was still in her nightgown and robe. She just wanted to take an early stroll around her home, but nope.

Then again, what did she expect? Come back from the dead and people are going to have questions.

Still. Being swarmed with questions and having plans and ideas thrown in her face that early was too much. She yearned to return to bed, but by the time she successfully convinced them to stop, it was likely too late.

So instead, she went to the kitchen and began to chop up some fruit, a skill she had gotten quite good at over the past year. She couldn’t do a lot, so she liked to help Helloise and Doctor Scratchnsniff prepare food, usually while they talked about things. Now all Lena could think of as she chopped was that of her offer.

She had written a letter last night asking for their assistance. In all honesty, she was ashamed. She thought returning home would do a lot to heal everything they went through over the past year, but Dot’s nightmare quickly told her otherwise. Because of her nativity, she had to write a letter offering and asking them to come to the palace to be the royal psychologist and counselor not just for Dot, but likely Wakko and perhaps even Yakko too. Goodness knows all of her kids must’ve been through hell under the care of her mother.

Lena paused and placed a hand on her cheek. She sighed.

Lena continued cutting fruit.

She hoped they were hungry- she was making a lot- goodness.

Well- she knew Wakko would be anyway. Her poor boy... he was so light to carry. Angelina must’ve locked him in the tower before the Wishing Star, and probably didn’t feed him.

Her mother deserved far, far worse than death.

But it was what needed to be done. She didn’t regret it. Not one bit.

Hopefully, they’d use all this food for the picnic they’d be having-

It was still winter. Snow was outside. They couldn’t have a picnic.

No. They’d just have one inside. It’s what Wakko wanted- who was she to take that away from him?

She continued to cut, despite realizing she lost count of how many kiwis, strawberries, and star fruit she had sliced by now.

“Mom?” Wakko came out of nowhere, startling Lena and she cut her finger.

“Gah- Jesus Wakko, you can’t sneak up on me like that,” She quickly began to suck on it and look for a towel.

Wakko froze, dead in his tracks.

“I-i’m sorry, I-i didn’t mean to- I-i-” He stumbled over his apology.

“It’s alright, Wakko, I’m not-” But by the time Lena said that, he had run out of the kitchen.

“Dammit, Lena, now look at what you’ve done,” She muttered to herself, wrapping a rag around her finger and running off to go find Wakko.

Day one and she was already screwing up.

“Wakko? Where are you?” She called, looking under hall decor, behind curtains, and in almost every room she walked by.  

“Wakko, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap like that,” She said, hearing sniffles come out of one bedroom. Lena knocked on the door softly.

“Wakko?” She said.

“I-i said I’m sorry, go away!” He shouted back.

“Wakko, it’s okay. You don’t have to apologize, it was I who snapped at you,” She placed her hand that didn’t have a towel around it against the door.

“Go away! I only get people hurt,” He cried more.

“Wakko honey, no,” Lena wanted to go in, but the door was locked.

“Wakko, whatever your grandmother told you, she was wrong. You’re such a wonderful kid- energetic, compassionate, brave, and you give the best hugs,” She countered his statement. The prince paused.

“B-but it’s my fault D-dot died... they were aiming for me,” He countered, his words becoming mumbled.

“Wakko, it’s nobody’s fault but your grandmother and she’s already paid the price,” She said.

“She can’t hurt you anymore... so please... come out? I promise I’m okay.”

Wakko was quiet. Lena bit her lip.

“If you come out you can have a snack in the kitchen,” She said. Wakko must’ve responded positively to that because before she knew it there were shuffling noises, and he opened the door, though unable to make eye contact with his mother.

“I’m hungry,” he said.

“I know honey, let’s get you some food and water- I bet you’re dehydrated too, especially after all that crying,” Lena said, offering her hand. Wakko took it.

“Yeah,” was all he said. Lena gave his hand a comforting squeeze as they made their way back. Once there, she lifted him on the counter and started slicing more fruit, everything from apples to bananas, and handing them to him once finished. He ate slowly, but it seemed to be doing him a lot of good, as his mood increased dramatically once he got some food in his system.

“You feeling better?” She asked him. Wakko nodded. “Good,” Lena smiled and ruffled his fur a little. Lena always found it funny how he often liked to sleep with his red hat on, but who was she to judge.

“Now honey, I want to make things very clear with you: everything your grandmother ever told you or made you feel is false okay? I don’t want you saying it, I don’t want you thinking it.  You are so much more than she ever thought, understood?” She placed her hand on his cheek, stroking his face with her thumb. Wakko leaned into it, nodding.

“Okay,” he agreed. Lena smiled softly.

“It’s not gonna be easy to undo what she’s done... but we’re going to figure it out together, understood?” She said. Wakko nodded again, eating an apple slice.

“I haven’t told your siblings yet, but in roughly a week's time, the good doctor from Acme Falls is going to start working at the palace to help you three heal from the abuse my mother put you through. He’s an emotions doctor and he’ll help you feel better, does that sound like something you want?” She said, going back to cutting fruit.

“Okay,” Wakko nodded, his tail twitching curiously. “What about you?” he asked.

Lena paused. “What about me?”

“Will he be helping you?” Wakko asked innocently. Lena looked down at her hands, then at the 20 or so fruits she sliced this morning.

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I’m going to have a lot more responsibilities than what I’m used to in the upcoming days- I’ll likely be too busy.”

“But you should be okay too,” Wakko frowned, reminding Lena of how observant he could be.

“I’ll be okay Wakko- I promise,” She looked at him. He scanned her face a minute before either believing it or just dropping it and going back to his apple slices.

After a moment of more slicing and handing to Wakko, Lena spoke again.

“We’re going to be having a picnic today, just like you wanted,” She said. Wakko’s face lit up.

“Really?! Isn’t it snowy?” Wakko tilted his head.  

“We’ll be having it inside, but I think that hardly makes a difference. What do you think?” Lena asked him.

“Okay,” he gave a toothy grin.

“Good,” Lena nodded. “How about you go and get dressed and get your siblings ready so we can do that soon, hm?”

“Okay,” He said, jumping off the countertop, and scurrying out of the kitchen.

Good. At least he was somewhat back to his old self. That meant there was hope after all. He was still a kid- he deserved to be happy and young while he could.

With a sigh, Lena began to get bags out and put the sliced fruit into separate bags as kitchen workers started to come in and began preparing their breakfast. Once Lena finished, she quickly apologized and got out of their way, explaining what was going to happen later with the picnic and all. They understood, and she left.

Now she was on her own again. And still in her nightgown- Lena really needed to get changed. Quickly she went back to her room and went to her closet to get dressed but her fingers hovered over her dresses. It had been so long since she wore something so fancy... Would it even feel right anymore?

Of course it would, she was born a princess, she was just being ridiculous... right?

Lena sighed and changed into her usual purple dress.

Today was going to be interesting.

.o0o.

And interesting it was. Home for less than 24 hours and already advisors and courtiers were already throwing piles upon piles of papers onto the poor queen-to-be. After signing about fifty billion documents, she finally got them to leave her alone, stating she made plans with her family she fully intended to keep. Thankfully, since she was in charge, nobody argued otherwise, though she knew they were likely doubtful. She did her best not to dwell.

By the time she did finally join her family in the room they were having their picnic, Wakko and Dot were already finished with their food and running around chasing each other, nearly running into Lena as she stepped in, though they both paused to give her a hug before running off again.

“My, they’re energetic today,” Lena chuckled as she joined her husband and Yakko on the pillows.

“Last night was probably the best sleep they’ve gotten in a while, nightmare or not,” Yakko shrugged, eating a piece of bread.

“I don’t doubt that... I slept pretty well last night too,” William said mostly to himself, looking at Wakko and Dot fondly.

“It really has been a year, hasn’t it?” Lena looked at Yakko, sadness in her eyes. “We’ve missed so much...”

“Not a whole lot... I mean- there were birthdays and stuff, but not... well...” Yakko was reluctant to finish the sentence, but Lena understood perfectly.

“Not much good, no?” Lena sighed. “I’ll never forgive her for this... for any of this.”

William and Yakko nodded supportively.

“But... Dot’s birthday was nice. I even managed to sneak a cake, and we all had a big sleepover, which was fun,” Yakko said. Lena smiled a little.

“That sounds lovely,” She said, sipping some tea.

“It was,” Yakko smiled at the memory.

“Oh! And we continued teaching Wakko to read,” Yakko remembered to tell.

“Really? Oh, that makes me so happy Yakko,” Lena side hugged him.

“We were so worried that Angelina wouldn’t let him and he’d forget,” William admitted.

“We had to do it behind her back, but I definitely think we made progress,” Yakko smiled, proud of himself, and rightfully so.

“I’m absolutely thrilled to hear it. You did a very good job taking care of your siblings in our absence Yakko, I’m very proud of you,” She kissed the top of his head.

“Thanks, mom,” Yakko teared up a little, and he quickly wiped it away. Lena didn’t comment, smiling softly.  

“I’ll never forgive her for this.” The thought repeated in her mind. Anger returned.

“So, what took you so long?” Yakko asked.

“Paperwork. I’ve a coronation to set up by the end of the week after all,” She tried to laugh at the dread facing her.

“What about Grandma’s funeral?” Yakko asked.

“She isn’t going to be getting a funeral,” Lena said.

William blinked. “Are you sure that’s best?”

“Doesn’t every royal get a funeral? I mean- she even held one for you two...” Yakko said quietly.

“It’s unprecedented yes, and will perhaps even look bad to the people. However, once we explain everything that happened, I’m sure the people will be more than happy and most importantly on our side,” Lena sipped her tea.

“I guess that makes sense,” Yakko shrugged a little. William sighed.

“Lena darling, I know it must be difficult, but she was the queen after all-”

“She committed treason on the highest offense, William.” Lena snapped.

“I know, but well- hasn’t she already paid the price?” He said in a hushed tone, even though Yakko was still right there.

“It’s not that I think she deserves one, Lena. I’m just concerned that the people won’t understand and that it’ll cause them to turn against you,” He clarified softly, touching her arm. Lena swiped it away.

“I know full well what I’ve done,” She stated sharply. “And I don’t regret it. Let the people be upset if they will, they’ll get over it.”

Wakko and Dot stopped running by then, now looking at their parents, confused.

“Lena, darling, perhaps we should take this outside,” William sighed. Lena looked at her children before sighing and nodding.

“We’ll be back shortly... carry on until we get back,” Lena said, placing a hand on Yakko’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze before standing up and going. William followed in suit.

William stood by the door a moment, making sure they weren’t listening in. Lena paced across the hall, holding her arms.

“Well?” Lena asked him.

“Well, what?” William questioned her harshness.

“Well, what’ve you to say? You asked us to leave the room and we’ve left, so what’ve you to say?” She asked, digging her fingers into her arms.

“Lena darling... I just thought perhaps it wasn’t best to discuss such matters in front of the children,” William said softly. That didn’t make Lena feel any better.

“William, I’m tired of pretending I care about her,” Lena looked out a window. “I don’t want to waste a year of my life wearing all black and veiling myself pretending to weep over what I’ve lost. I can’t even fathom pretending to care a day,” She admitted.

“Of course,” He nodded slowly. The queen-to-be glanced at him.

“You aren’t going to argue otherwise?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Lena darling, I love you with all that I am. I trust your judgment. I’m simply trying to look out for you, that’s all,” William went to her.

“I love you too William,” She said. “I just... I know what I’ve done. I don’t regret it.”

“My dear... you keep saying that,” He took her hand and kissed it.

“It remains true,” Lena took a step away.

“Lena, who are you trying to convince?” He asked honestly.

“I... nobody,” She said quickly.

“Lena-”

“Nobody, William,” She closed her eyes and turned away from him.

She didn’t regret it. Her mother had to die, and by her hand.

There was no other way.

“There was no other way,” She said aloud.

“My love, you’re trembling,” William worried.

“She didn’t love me. She never did- even as a child. She shouted, she pulled the flowers out of my hair, she grabbed me, she blamed me for Father’s death, she... she hurt Wakko, she locked him up like some animal and then she... she killed Dot. She had to die, William,” She still didn’t look at him.

“I know darling...” He approached her slowly.

“A-and even if she had loved me at one point... if she brushed my hair, or sat with me in portraits, or picked out a dress she saw me admiring, it doesn’t matter. She killed our baby girl... she had to die,” Lena looked him in the eyes, though the sympathy was almost too much for her.

“My love, I know... What you did was incredibly difficult,” William said, wiping a stray tear from her face.

“Why though? Why was it difficult? After all that she did to our children, it should’ve been easy,” Lena argued.

“Lena, I do not know,” He sighed, stroking her face with his hand softly. “I’m not a psychologist or anything of the like... but I assume it’s because- well... she was your mother.”

“Hardly...” Lena muttered to herself.

“Despite everything, she still was. You can’t deny that,” He said. “And despite everything, you’ve always been slow to retaliation, so of course it’s taking a while to process what you’ve done.”

“I thought you said you weren’t a psychologist,” Lena joked a little. William chuckled a little.

“I’m not dear... though perhaps you really should take up Scratchnsniff’s offer,” William said.

“I wrote for him last night. He’ll do the children lots of good,” She said.

“That’s not what I meant,” William gave her a look.

Lena paused, sincerely thinking about it.

“I’ll be woefully busy... I’ll hardly have the time,” Lena said.

“We’ll make the time,” He countered.

“William- I just... I don’t know...” She turned away.

“Lena... please? I worry about you,” William held one of her hands in his and gave it a squeeze. Lena said nothing.

“My dear, you deserve to be at peace. Ever since I met you you were burdened by your mother’s actions, and now that she’s gone, you can finally find peace,” He said with a small smile. She could hardly look at him now.

She was an adult. Almost queen. She should be able to handle this on her own.

“If not for yourself, then can you at least do it for them? For...me?” He pleaded quietly.

Lena looked at the door a long moment, practically seeing her children leaning up against it (which she knew they likely were).

“William I don’t know if I can find peace...” She whispered.

“Can’t we at least give it a try, my love?” He whispered back. She looked at him. His eyes... those warm, dark, familiar eyes had brought her so much love and comfort over the years. So much love and worry...

Lena knew she’d do anything for him.

“I can try,” She nodded slowly.

“Really?” He smiled a little. 

“I’d walk through hell and back for you, my love,” Lena placed a soft hand on his cheek. “I think I’ll be able to believe in myself a little for you too.”

“Thank you,” He kissed her wrist before pulling her in for an actual kiss, which she gladly returned.  

However, the kiss didn’t last too long before a chorus of voices behind the door grew louder and before they knew it, the door opened, Yakko, Wakko, and Dot spilling out with it. 

“Darn it Dot- you got us caught,” Yakko shook his head.

“Haha... hi,” Dot sheeped. Lena rolled her eyes. 

“Mind telling me why you were listening in to what was supposed to be a private, adult conversation?” She teased, helping them up and off each other.

“Uh... curiosity?” Wakko shrugged. Lena laughed. 

“Can’t deny that I suppose,” She ruffled his fur. Wakko smiled up at her with his tongue sticking out. She missed that smile. 

“Well... the day isn’t over yet... what do you three want to do?” She asked. 

“Can we hear a story?” Dot perked up and asked. 

“Yeah! A story!” Wakko agreed. Yakko snorted, giving his silent agreement.

“It’s nowhere near bedtime,” William said. “What are we going to do then?”

“We can handle two stories,” Dot rolled her eyes.  William chuckled. 

“That you can... that you can,” He said, stroking his mustache. 

“How about this: I’ll tell you a bedtime story if you’ll help me out with this one, hm?” He offered, winking at Lena to boast his cleverness. Lena rolled her eyes.

“Okay!” The younger warner siblings said in agreement. 

“But first we have to clean all this up- can’t be leaving everything out like this,” Lena remarked, going back into their picnic room. Quickly, the children ran in and began picking up any toys they had brought in, folding blankets, and putting back pillows where they belonged, while Lena and William dealt with the food. 

“Quite the plethora of fruit you prepared for us this morning,” Willaim commented as he cleaned. 

“I do it when I’m stressed,” She shrugged. “You know this- you were there.”

“I know,” he teased. “They were very good.” 

“I didn’t grow them,” Lena rolled her eyes, teasing him right back. 

“It’s our garden. I think we ought to have some claim,” He shrugged. Lena rolled her eyes again. 

“You say that like we don’t get most of our fruits from the farms-”

“Actually, we get our apples and citrus from the farms. The starfruit and berries were from the garden,” Yakko snuck up from behind, folding a blanket.

“Who’s side are you on?” Lena gave him a look. Yakko laughed. 

“Checkmate,” William grinned. 

“I hate you,” She snorted, putting the bread into a bag as Yakko disappeared to put the blanket away. 

“You love me,” William elbowed her lightly. Lena chuckled and continued to clean without comment. However, a thought slowly dawned on her and she paused. 

“Lena..?” William noticed. 

“Sorry, I’m just... thinking,” She shook her head and continued. 

“Thinking of what?” He asked. 

Lena thought about how best to say it. 

“I suppose... well... I don’t know. I just-... Do you really believe any of this will ever truly be over?” Lena asked him. 

William sighed. “I really hope so... it may not be today, or tomorrow, or even the day after, but in my heart I know one day we’ll finally be truly happy and free from her and her effects.”

“What do you think it’ll be like when that comes?” She asked him. William smiled. 

“Well... I imagine there’ll be dancing under a sky full of stars. Music playing softly in the other room, while we just have all the time in the world to ourselves, knowing Yakko, Wakko and Dot are safely tucked to sleep- or even if they aren’t we know they’re safe. They know they’re loved, we know we’re loved, you know you’re loved,” He said, a far-off look on his face indicating he had given this thought before. Lena smiled. 

“Dancing under the stars... I’ve missed that,” She agreed with him. 

“Perhaps we’ll even go to the garden. We’ll sit on our bench by the fountain where I first proposed to you and we’ll just sit and reflect on the good times we shared, and the good times yet to come. It won’t be the end, after all. There’ll still be a lifetime ahead of us,” He said. Lena closed her eyes, envisioning it. 

“That sounds lovely,” She smiled and opened her eyes. 

“One day,” He said with a wink. 

“We’re doneeee, can you tell us the story now?” Dot ran up to them, grabbing William’s leg. He laughed. 

“Alright, c’mon,” He said, peeling Dot from his leg and picking her up instead. Wakko went to Lena and held her hand. She gave it a comforting squeeze, not that either was nervous. Yakko walked on her other side. 

Together, the family all went back to the familiar playroom and settled in for storytime with Dad. 

Effortlessly he weaved a tale about a beautiful princess, a handsome knight, and a fearsome dragon. Had it been done before? Of course, but it was the audience’s choice and they missed the cliché. He spoke of everlasting love, the princess and the knight saving each other numerous times, and eventually how they lived happily ever after and created a land of prosperity, peace, and love- unlike the age of the Dragon. It didn’t take a genius to figure out his inspiration for such a tale, but it was interesting and exciting nonetheless. 

After that, Lena and William played with Yakko, Wakko, and Dot with their dolls, playing a game similar to the story, but with its own twists (like the Princess being fire breathing and could transform into a giant lion and the knight was secretly the God of Thunder) until it was eventually time for diner. 

After that, William read them a bedtime story, this time of a lonely siren and a sailor who nearly drowned, which captivated Wakko and Dot easily, though Yakko was tired, and barely awake by the end. Then, they checked for monsters for Dot (a new concern of hers), after which Lena sang them their lullaby and they all went to sleep. 

And so several days passed in such a way. Lena would spend her mornings over paperwork and giving signatures and statements and writing to other kingdoms in preparation for her coordination while William watched the kids, and in the afternoon she’d join them for lunch and for some quality family time until it was eventually time to sleep and the cycle would start over. As much as she hated the paperwork portion of her days, she couldn’t deny the quality time made up for it. Seeing her children slowly regain their spirit filled her with more happiness than she could ever describe, especially with the help of Doctor Scratchnsniff. 

Ah, yes. Doctor Scratchnsniff. At first, the children were hesitant to meet with him, but after Lena and William offered to sit in with them for their appointments (for the first one, at least) they agreed. 

Dot seemed to be liking him, though she found him and his accent strange at first. However, the doctor reported she was already off to a good start and even after meeting twice he said she was making good progress. That was good to hear at least. The sooner her PTSD was gone, the better. 

It was evident Yakko liked him less so, but Lena and William weren’t surprised by that. His issues were with being fiercely independent and untrusting so naturally, it was going to take a while for him to open up, which they were okay with. They had all the time in the world now. 

Wakko, however, never wanted to be alone with him. He always had Lena sit with him through his appointments, either clinging to her arm, or sitting in her lap the whole time as she stroked his ears or rubbed his back soothingly. He hardly spoke a word at first, which was expected, but the doctor didn’t seem to mind. Hopefully, progress would be made with time.

Lena eventually found time to make an appointment of her own. It felt... odd, to say the least. She was used to the loving and kind support from William, but opening up to Scratchy was a different feeling entirely. She didn’t have to fear what he thought, as he was trained to listen and help. She liked that. 

What she liked less was reflecting on her childhood. So many feelings and emotions and twisted memories she didn’t know how to look back on. He said this was natural for victims of childhood neglect and abuse, and she couldn’t deny that. 

However, she was processing now. Moving on, as he described it. Acknowledging what happened was the first step, moving on was the next. It was... interesting. Then again, these were only the beginning steps. She still had lots and lots of work to do, but she had all the time in the world. 

The days passed in such a sequence, that the day of her coordination threw her off guard. Heck- she had hardly noticed that when she had awakened, maids and dressers were immediately there to get her in the gorgeous cerulean blue, and gold dress they had made for her. It wasn’t until they were trying to comb through her hair she realized the day was special. Sure- she wasn’t normally dressed by handmaidens, but in all fairness, she had just woken up. 

Oh god- it was finally happening. Important guests from kingdoms all over were going to arrive to watch her rise to the throne and accept her fate and destiny as the next queen of Warnerstock. 

Hell- it felt like Lena blinked and suddenly she was waiting for the doors to open so she could walk down and accept the crown and say the lines and well- get coronated as Queen. She was wearing the nicest gown she’d ever worn in her life, and her ears were unbound, as she was no longer wearing her princess crown anymore. 

“You ready Mom?” Yakko asked, adjusting his fancy little outfit. Lena thought he as well as the rest of the kids looked adorable, though it was clear he was rather uncomfortable with the lapels and sash. Still- that didn’t stop Lena from wishing she could get a portrait of him done. 

“Hopefully,” Lena laughed through her nervousness. 

“You’ll be great, I know it,” Wakko grinned up at her. Lena smiled at him, before noticing his sash was on the wrong shoulder and she fixed it. 

“Yeah! You’re super nice and pretty and you’ll be a great queen,” Dot encouraged. 

“You’re too sweet, darling,” She thanked her before standing. 

“You’ve nothing to worry about, my love,” William placed his hands on her shoulders. “We have your back, it’ll be okay.”

“I’m the luckiest queen-to-be in the world,” Lena chuckled. 

“Yep!” Wakko agreed. 

“Your highness? They’re ready for you,” said one of the officials. Lena took in a deep breath and nodded. 

“Well... let’s go,” She gave them a nod. Her family gave her quick grins and thumbs up, before the door opened, and the ceremony officially began. 

The ceremony went perfectly as planned. Not a word nor person was out of place. She recited the vow of protection and service perfectly, didn’t flinch when the cold metal of her new crown touched her head, and even managed not to flinch at the mention of her full name (though she could still feel the internal dread of it). She recited her speech to the people perfectly, gaining their understanding and support with her carefully crafted yet heartfelt words, and eventually, the ceremonies were over and the festivities began. 

Quickly, the children ran into the outdoor courtyard with many of the other royal children from nearby kingdoms, and music began to play. However, this wasn’t the stuffy, snooty music her mother would’ve chosen for her coordination, no. This was Lena, and she chose something exciting. A new beginning. Songs that make you kick off your shoes (if you wore those) and dance in circles until you pass out from exhaustion you didn’t know you had because you were too busy being swept away by the fun of it all. Lena danced with her new subjects and partners in foreign policy all day, and even a bit of the night as the sun eventually went down, only stopping when the feast began, or the band needed a break, but then returning right away. 

She hadn’t felt this alive in years, and Lena was determined to never let it go. This was what freedom was. This was what life without her mother’s control could be, every day. People laughing, cheering, celebrating, being together and safe and happy. 

People were happy. 

Lena was happy. 

Yakko, Wakko, and Dot were happy too, even mingling with children from neighboring kingdoms, with Yakko even finding himself fascinated with a certain dog prince that she and William gave a quick thumbs up to, embarrassing him deeply. Eh, he’d get over it. They were back, and that meant embarrassing him to his crushes- even if he just met them that night. 

Wakko and Dot were having fun dancing, and drawing chalk on the ground. Wakko proved himself to be quite the artist, as while he danced he dragged and drew with his tail, and before anyone knew it the whole floor was a Wakko art piece. Sure, it may have stained their feet, but it was truly something to behold. Dot, on the other hand, was chatting with other princesses and citizens, charming them with her classic wit and cuteness that made Lena proud. 

And William? For the first time in what felt like forever, he seemed to be enjoying himself too, the worry that was constantly behind those deep, dark eyes she loved so dearly being practically gone. Instead, joy and excitement, as well as love was shining back, as he spun and lifted and danced alongside her to the exciting music of the band. The couple had never felt so alive and free. 

Eventually, though, all good things come to an end, and guests slowly began to leave, saying their quick goodbyes to the new Queen, wishing her luck, and promising their loyalties and hopes for the future. It saddened to see things coming to an end, but eventually, the band began to play much slower, softer music, and William took her hand in his and they slowly began to sway under the starlight. 

“I told you you had nothing to worry about,” William smirked. 

“I know, you’re always right, blah blah blah,” Lena snickered. 

William laughed. “I’m serious though, I’m extremely proud of you. You’ve come a very long way for it being less than a month since returning.”

“And here I thought it was already a year,” Lena joked, referring more to the neverending piles of paperwork she managed to go through in such a short time than her time with her loved ones. 

“Lena, I mean it. I’m incredibly proud of you,” William made sure she knew it. 

“Thank you, dear,” Lena kissed him. “I couldn’t have done this- any of this without you.”

“I know,” He said with a small smile. Lena snorted a little, before stepping closer and leaning against him as they swayed together. 

“How’s this for a perfect ending, hm?” he asked. 

Lena thought about that, looking around the more than half-empty courtyard.

Wakko was curled up into a ball on a pile of pillows nearby a firepit, looking perfectly warn out and warm. Dot was drawing with chalk next to him, looking half asleep as well. Yakko was telling a story to his new friend, though it was very clear that friend was going to have to leave soon, but whoever was in charge of the boy clearly didn’t have the heart to break the two up, which Lena couldn’t say she blamed them for. They were cute. Kids- but cute. 

Then she looked back at William. The love of her life. The man who never once left her side and carried her through the worst moments of their lives, and somehow made it out alive. She kissed him again. 

“It’s not completely perfect... but it’s a damn good start,” Lena smiled.

“A damn good start indeed,” William grinned. 

And it was a damn good start. After all, Queen Angelina  Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca the Second was married to Sir William the Good, and had three beautiful children she loved more than anything in the world. Her mother was dead, and couldn’t hurt any of them anymore. There were no more secrets, no more lies, and no more abuse. 

Together, the Warners were entering a new era; an era of peace, of love, of great healing, and great togetherness. After all- the old queen was dead, proving once and for all that nothing could or ever would keep them apart for long. 

They were together now, and together the Warner Family was unstoppable.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 The End 

[squishybellies]

A fruit too many

So I wrote another Fu//ng/ie/s fic....

Here’s the summary, and you can read more if you’re interested ^^:  In an attempt to get more fruit to sell for his business, Co//mma/nde/r B/e//ef/y gives S//ir Tr//e/e a visit, only to find that he is unable to produce the product he is looking for. With an overabundance of duds, Co/mma//nde//r B//e/efy decides that the best course of action is to eat them all, much to his and his friends' dismay.

“Alright,” the commander spoke in a demanding tone, placing a watering can next to the small tree in front of him, the tree looking at him with a slightly worried expression. The pink alien quickly placed a hand in the water inside the can, flicking the droplets onto the surface of the tree, “I’ve been watching you, I know this stuff can make you grow.” He crouched down, “now, let’s try growing that fruit again, hmm?~” Commander Beefy placed a hand upon Sir Tree’s stump, tapping his fingers impatiently. 

Sir Tree flinched slightly, but reluctantly obliged, his leaves stretching as he forced himself to create a pear. “Yes! That’s the one!” The commander spoke excitedly, swiping the pear from Sir Tree and biting into it with gusto. “So good…” he purred, placing the fruit on the ground. “Now all I need you to do is make more, just like this one,” he explained. 

The tree’s leaves shaked again, this time producing a single apple. The commander picked it up and looked at it with annoyance, shaking his head, “no, not like this, the color needs to be like this one,” he said, pointing at the pear while biting into the apple, “and it needs to be… mrm, sweeter.” He considered placing the apple down, but didn’t want to waste it, after all, it wasn’t bad, just not what he was looking for, and so he placed the rest of it in his mouth, swallowing it whole with relative ease. He crossed his arms, “try again.”

Once again, more fruit was produced, this time a bushel of bananas. “Are you kidding me!?” the commander spoke with annoyance, grabbing the fruit. “I’m sorry, I’m really trying,” Sir Tree muttered, sounding exhausted. “Well try harder,” the commander stated bluntly, biting into one of the bananas, chewing the peel and everything. “You got the color closer but… eugh, what is this taste?” He complained as he continued to eat, eventually finishing off the bushel. 

“Maybe you should stop eating,” Sir Tree said, slightly concerned, “it might be a while before I get this right, I wouldn’t want you to get a tummy ache.” Commander Beefy just scoffed, as if the very idea of that was ridiculous. “Less talking, more fruit,” he snapped, growing more impatient. 

Sir Tree watched helplessly as he continued to try to create fruit, being continually scolded by his strange visitor, and after every mistake his creations quickly disappeared into the commander’s gullet. He slowly started to grow more and more tired and distracted, even as the commander watered him, he still felt quite sluggish and weak, and as a result he got even further from the desired result. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Hey are you sleeping? Come on!” Sir Tree woke up groggily, hearing the swaying of his own leaves as the commander shook him gently. “You’ve got all these leaves and STILL you haven’t got it right, honestly you’re just wasting my time at this point.” Sir Tree said nothing as he used the last of his leaves to produce more fruit, albeit this time purposely crafting them to be as incorrect as possible due to his own frustration at the commander’s lack of patience. 

“Well, that’s all the water I have,” Commander Beefy sighed in exasperation as he picked up the pear and ate it, before turning his attention to the massive pile of fruit dumped next to him. He shrugged and grabbed one from the pile before turning his attention to Sir Tree once again, “oh well, there’s always next time,” he stated bluntly, idly chewing on a kiwi before gesturing to the pile. “Although I guess I do need to clean up, do you mind?” he asked, Sir Tree looking at him with a bit of confusion. 

“Clean up?” “Yeah,” the alien stated, finishing off the kiwi in his hand, “it’s not like anyone else is here, might as well finish all this off myself.” “I don’t know…” Sir Tree began, before quickly being shut up, “Shhhh, it’s fine, it would look bad on my end to have all these leftover duds anyways,” the commander stated. Although he still thought it was a bad idea for him to eat so much, Sir Tree simply responded that he never minded company. 

Over the next hour or so, Sir Tree simply watched Commander Beefy eat and listened to him ramble about nothing in particular, although he found it a bit difficult to pay attention on the count that the commander had decided to sit nearly right in front of him, causing his face to occasionally get hit with stray drops of juice as he talked. But more than that, he was absolutely mesmerized with just how much the alien could pack away, in fact, he enjoyed watching so much he started to ponder if he could get him to come back soon just so he could purposely mess up more. The company was nice. 

He watched as the commander reached for a handful of strawberries, noticing something interesting. In all the time that he had known the commander, one of the things he took particular note of and felt a hint of jealousy towards was his possession of a fairly svelte figure. However, instead of what he was used to, he noticed the slightest bit of a curve in place of his usual flat middle. It was quite odd, as no beings on Earth had bodies that could stretch in such a manner, although he did find it a little cute. 

Curious about this strange phenomenon, he continued to watch him eat, wondering if, since he had a body that could stretch, if he could eat as much as he wanted. After a while of staring, Commander Beefy seemed to notice where Sir Tree’s eyes were focused, and a small blush seemed to creep over his cheeks. “Um… you’re staring… why are you doing that.” “N-nothing!” the small tree stuttered, shivering a bit, “I just got distracted is all, you know… daydreaming.” 

“Uh huh,” the commander eyed him suspiciously, before turning his attention to a handful of strawberries. He quickly stuffed them in his mouth and let out an involuntary moan, before catching himself. “Good lord…” Sir Tree muttered under his breath, he couldn’t tell if the commander was teasing him on purpose or if he was really just that oblivious. 

“What was that?” the commander asked, chewing and swallowing some flowers that were in the pile. He scooted closer to Sir Tree, his now noticeably round belly pressing slightly against the small tree’s face. The poor tree didn’t know how to respond, stuttering heavily as he tried to come up with an excuse. 

“You like this don’t you?~” the commander spoke up, giving the tree a sly look. “Well I-” Sir Tree started to speak, before being cut off again. “Now, now, don’t try to deny it, it really is quite obvious,” the commander spoke bluntly, scooting just a tiny bit closer to the point where his tummy was completely smooshed against the tree’s face, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d even say you did this on purpose~” 

“How about you handle the rest of this mess then, hmm~?” He gestured to the rest of the fruit, and then back to himself. “I’m full~” he teased, giving his belly a little pat. “Oh but there’s still some fruit left… help me finish?” The way in which he stated his question almost sounded more like a demand than anything, and as he impatiently pressed up against the tree, it was made all the more obvious. 

“Ok, ok!” Sir Tree blushed, turning his head to the side so that he could see and picked up a round and juicy cherry. He held it shyly to the commander’s mouth, only to yelp and pull back as he grabbed the cherry and bit into it as if he hadn’t eaten in weeks, red juice dribbling down his chin and onto Sir Tree’s leaves. Sir Tree was about to hand him a handful of cranberries next, but instead of taking them, Beefy simply opened his mouth as Sir Tree dropped each one inside, cheeks swelling from all the fruit inside his mouth as he chewed, his hands flying to his belly, rubbing it gingerly. 

Sir Tree could feel the commander’s middle let out a strained groan. “Are you sure you’ll be able to finish?” he asked with concern. Sure, there was only one fruit left, but he definitely didn’t want to be responsible if his friend got hurt. “I’m sure…” Commander Beefy mumbled, eyes focused on the huge cucumber laying next to him. He tried to reach for it himself, but found that he couldn’t stretch that far on account of how full he was. 

Sir Tree grabbed the cucumber and held it up to the commander’s mouth, watching as his tired jaws got to work on the crisp fruit. As he chewed, Sir Tree used his other leaves to gently rub his belly, hoping that it would help. When Commander Beefy finally finished, he slumped back a bit, breathing heavily. His small friend was reasonably concerned, but seemed to relax a bit when he spoke again. 

“Hfff… that… was good,” the commander spoke through ragged breaths, letting out a soft moan. He sat up as best he could, backing off of Sir Tree to release some of the pressure inside him. “I can’t believe you ate so much…” Sir Tree muttered, leaves still gently brushing over the surface of his friends’ torso. “You and me both,” the commander huffed, stifling a sickly burp with his fist. 

“But hey, it was fun though!” He smiled enthusiastically, “Maybe after you get things right next time, we could do this again, you know, for fun.” He seemed to place a particular emphasis on the word “right,” but the idea still seemed very desirable for his small friend. “Well, I guess I could try harder next time, just for you…” Sir Tree spoke, a sort of gentleness present in his voice.

“Anyhow…” the commander yawned, stretching slightly, “I’m looking forward to it, but for now….” He lazily flopped on his side, wrapping his arms around Sir Tree. “I’m quite tired, so I will sleep here.” The two of them snuggled for a while, both exhausted in their own ways, until Commander Beefy fell asleep. As Sir Tree lay there, feeling warm and cozy surrounded by his friends’ fur, he placed a gentle kiss upon the commander’s head before drifting off into a dream of his own.

[survey--s]

74.

survey by pinkchocolate

What was last film/TV show you watched, that starred an attractive actor? Two and a Half Men has some pretty attractive female stars.

When was the last time you had a bowl of soup? What flavour? Around a week or two ago - I think it was tomato and basil.

Do you have any tinned foods in your cupboard at the moment? Sure, loads of tinned food. We have soup, baked beans, tinned fruit, tinned custard, rice pudding, tomatoes and tuna at the moment, I think.

Have you ever worked with someone named Julie? What was she like? I have, actually. I didn’t get on with her at first because I found her really intimidating, but then she left and came back and we got on really well after that. I think she didn’t have much patience for newbies, lol.

What foods have you been craving lately, if any? Cream cakes, for some reason. I have some coming on the food shop on Sunday lol.

What was the last savoury snack you ate? Twiglets. I bought them for Christmas but never got round to opening them until yesterday. I’m sure they don’t taste as good as they used to.

What was the last sweet snack you ate? Uhhh. I’ve not had anything sweet today - so maybe a jam Wagon Wheel yesterday?

What was the last food item that you tried for the first time? An apple, kiwi and lime fruit juice.

^ How was it? It was pretty good, I have to say. Surprisingly good, actually.

Does anyone in your family have green eyes? Not in my immediate family, no, but I have some distant cousins with green eyes.

Have you ever known anyone named Phyllis? What was she like? Nope.

What was the name of your first ever pet? Gizmo - he was an orange tabby cat. We also had his sister, Athena, though she originally belonged to my roommate and we adopted her when he got kicked out and couldn’t take her with him.

Where was the last place you went out for lunch? What did you order? A local pub last weekend - I had scampi and chips!

Where was the last place you went for an evening meal? What did you order? Uh, I haven’t been out for an evening meal for months lol. It was probably for someone’s birthday or our wedding anniversary - I think I ordered steak.

Have you Googled anything today? What? Yeah, a weather app to see what it was saying about snow tonight.

What do you like to eat for breakfast these days? Lately, it’s been either croissants with butter and jam, or toast with butter and vegemite, depending on my mood and what we have in the house.

Is anyone in your family a nurse? Yes - my cousin is a nurse. We also have several doctors in the family.

Do you like to wear lipstick? What colours do you think suit you best? No.

Who was the last person to recommend a book to you? Does GoodReads count? lol.

What colour is your shirt? Any pictures, patterns or wording on it? It’s just a plain grey longlne jumper from Amazon.

Name something you own that is green. Uh, a sweater.

Do you know anyone named Sally? What about Sidney? Yeah - Sally is Archie’s dog groomer/nail trimmer lol. I don’t know a Sidney, though.

Have you ever heard anyone talk in their sleep? Yes.

^ If so, do you remember what they said? Just random crap that never made any sense, lol.

Who was the last person to tease or joke around with you, in a friendly way? Mike.

What was the last beverage you drank from a mug? Coffee.

Are there any framed photos in your living room? Yeah, photos and prints.

Is there a jar of peanut butter in your house? Yeah, we always have peanut butter in the house. I love it and so does the dog, lol. We put it in hooves etc. for him as a snack sometimes.

Are there any foods that you loved as a child, but wouldn’t eat now? Just some specific kids’ foods that don’t taste right to an adult palate lol.

Give me a fruit or vegetable that starts with the same letter as your name. Nori. There’s barely any that start with an N.

Look around the room - can you see any objects that are orange? Nope.

What brand is your facial moisturiser? I don’t use any moisturiser on my face, it makes my skin SO greasy.

What brand was the last lipstick you wore? I don’t wear lipstick.

Does anyone you know own a tabby cat? How about a cocker spaniel? I used to own two tabby cats and I currently pet-sit for someone who has one - her name is Mattie, lol. I know numerous cocker spaniels too.

What was the last book you read for the first time? The Red Queen by Christina Henry.

^ What did you think of it? It was good, but nowhere near as good as the first book in the series.

When was the last time you ate cheesecake? Sometime last year, but now I really want a cheesecake lol.

Do you have blinds or curtains in your bedroom? What colour are they? Black curtains but I really want to replace them.

What was the last beverage you tried for the first time? Some weird green smoothie. I thought it was going to be like the one I mentioned upthread but it had matcha and flaxseed in it and it was horrible lol.

^ How was it? Grim.

Who was the last person that said you were beautiful? I don’t remember.

To you, what makes a person beautiful? What they do or think when no one’s looking. <-- I love this.

[izzielizzie]

can you do a little drabble about a conversation between Maeve and her mom? they would have an interesting relationship

sure! it’s after the explosion and stuff in the second book. Was I crying while writing this? yes.

Maeve heard a light knock on her door, and she looked up from her book.

“Hey baby, can I come in?” Her mom asked softly, stepping into the room. 

Maeve smiled, sitting up a little more. “Of course.” She watched as her mother crossed the room with a bowl in her hand. She sat on the bed next to Maeve. The glow from Maeve’s lamp accentuated the wrinkles on her mother’s face she had never seen before. It was startling to Maeve, to realize her eternally beautiful mother was aging. 

“Here you go, baby,” her mother said, passing Maeve a bowl of fruit salad. 

“Thanks.” Maeve took the bowl and turned the fruit around, but didn’t eat. “Mom I’m sorry,” she said, looking up. She didn’t elaborate on what she was sorry about, but she didn’t need to. Her mom smiled, her grey eyes crinkling. Her red curls feel softly around her shoulders and she lifted up her hand to caress Maeve’s cheek.

“I know, Maevey. I know.”

Maeve ate a spoonful of apple and kiwi, and looked at her mother as she started to speak. “I spoke to Phoebe after you fell asleep. She’s a darling girl.”

Maeve smiled around the spoon in her mouth. “I know. I wasn’t prepared to like her as much as I do.”

“And Luis too?” her mother asked, eyes twinkling.  

“And Luis too,” Maeve amended, shaking her head. “Mama,” Maeve started, using a name for her mother she hadn’t used in ages, “do you like him?”

“I do. Very much. As does your father.”

“Good.” Maeve grinned at her mother. She looked down as she tried to maneuver half a grape onto her spoon. She gave up and tossed the fruit in the air, catching it in her mouth. 

Her mom laughed. “Maeve you’re not a child anymore. Don’t do that.”

Maeve gave her mother a small salute as she turned back to her salad. She looked up a moment later to see her mother looking at her with a peculiar look on her face. “What?” Maeve asked. 

Her mother shook her head. “It’s just strange, to realize that ten years ago-”

“That ten years ago you found me in my room crying because my joints were hurting?”

“Yeah.”

They both sigh in unison. It was hard to think about Maeve’s cancer, so no one really talked about it.

“You know, I never really felt that comfortable around you when you were younger,” Maeve’s mom said. Maeve made a face.

“Are you really supposed to say that to your kid?”

Her mom laughed and tucked a lock of Maeve’s hair behind her ear. “I think it is. Because the truth is, I could never read you. You were wiser than me. Every parenting trick I used on Bronwyn, you saw right through it when I used it on you.”

Maeve giggled. “And you’re really surprised I grew up to solve mysteries?”

Mrs. Rojas laughs. “I should have expected it honestly.”

“I agree.”

Her mom shook her head. “I could never read your thoughts the way I could Bronwyn’s. I used to think I was just a bad parent.”

“You could never be a bad parent. You and Dad are the best people in the world.”

“Thank you darling. I didn’t believe that though, until the day I carried you to the car and into the ER. You spent the entire night in my lap. Do you know what I learned that night?”

“What?”

“I could never compare you Bronwyn and be fair. You’re different people. Bronwyn is bold and knows her own worth. She needs someone who will listen to her but let her do her own thing. It’s why Nathanial is so good for her.”

Maeve raised her eyebrow at her mother admitting that Nate and Bronwyn are meant to be, but she didn’t say anything because her mom was still talking. 

“You on the other hand, are clever. And witty and so, so empathetic. And more independent than you should be. What you need, and have needed for years, is for someone to hold you when things get scary. That night when you were in pain I held you. And tonight, when you were scared, Luis held you. He’s lovely, my darling. Please, don’t push him away like you do everyone else.”

Maeve blinked back her tears. “I won’t. I love him, Mom, I really do.”

“I know, honey. And I love you.”

“I love you too, Mom.”

Maeve pulled back her covers and shifted to the edge of her bed. Her mother climbed into bed next to her, and stayed there all night. 

[grumpygreenwitch]

Summer Gardening.

So it’s been a while, and for that I apologize to the... 200+ people who follow me. I’m sure y’all are here for the cat pics and the nekked men, but TOO BAD. Today you get to suffer through pics of my green children. Also, I do share seed. My seed list link will be up later in the year. To begin with, the summer flowers are out en force:

Echinacea Purpurea, the original echinacea. I do save yearly seed from these guys, although it’s an incredibly pointy, stabby and bleed-y job. 

Mountain Phlox. Unfortunately, all of it around the house is afflicted with powdery mildew, so I will not share seed. But it’s still pretty to look at, and the clearwings (hummingbird moths) love it. Not pictured is the white variant, who grows on the other side of the house. Look, it was hot and I was already melting.

Peppermint Balsam. This thing is basically indestructible, for an annual. It will reseed freely (to truly Lovecraftian levels) and blooms continuously from late spring until mid-fall, when the seed-pods set. There is a dormant genetic in it for double flowers, but when it pops up it’s always been sterile. It just pops up occasionally from the peppermint seed.

I may give the roommate hell over the hostas (I hate them. They’re so useful to protect toads and control weeds, but I hate them), but they do put out pretty flowers. There are several variants around the house - white-edged, blue and green, but hostas in general are very, very hard to start from seed. I will save it on request, only. We were also incredibly lucky to have a Moth Mullein sprout in our porch bed, along with some Variegated Solomon’s Seal.The SS doesn’t put out seeds, and I don’t have enough to share bulbs (yet), but the mullein has been exceptionally generous with seed pods, and it repels bugs. It repels ROACHES. It’s going everywhere. And I may be convinced to part with some seed.

Onward!

A view from a hill. Can you see the garden? That’s OK, I can’t either. Those are peach trees, on the side of the orchard closest to the house. Unfortunately a freak storm during early spring killed all the blossoms. Also, don’t mistake ‘orchard’ for ‘organized’. There’s a pear, some apples, a plum, some nectarines? And front and center are two walnuts. I’ll probably be plunking my laurel there to see if it survives winter. And someday when I have a job and money again, I would like to drop a few Chicago Hardy figs, and maybe a kiwi trellis.

This is the big garden (and fortunately not my responsibility, or I would cry). The guys are ‘handling’ it. The weeds say otherwise.

The jasmine tree and the roommate’s garden. Because of a bad back injury that refuses to heal, I’ve been helping them on and off with it. And if you thought jasmine was supposed to stay a delightful little bush, AHAHAHAHAH. Yes, that’s a light-post next to it. For size comparison.

MY CHILDREN. Please ignore the dead soccer ball. That’d be a dog toy.

Lemon balm, amaranth, and a new bed that I’ll be finishing off during fall, for use next year. The lemon balm is a permanent row - it will overwinter just fine, and it will even keep growing through the mildest part of December. Mine didn’t die back until a few solid days of sleet in January. Unfortunately the weed fabric under the amaranth turned out to be an old roll, and fell apart on me (no big, the whole point is for it to fall apart eventually), so the weeds have kinda eaten it alive.

Unfortunately, both cucumber beetles and blister beetles love the amaranth. Fortunately, it does not seem to give a damn. It’s an incredibly resilient plant, not minding weeds, bugs, flood or drought. We’ll see what the grain actually tastes like, but so far it’s looking like a good candidate for continuous growing.

The lemon balm is lemon-balming. Planted on a lark, it’s proven to be a fantastic wind-breaker - because it grows so early and so quick, it keeps the colder winds that come down through the hollow from my more fragile seedlings, like the lettuce, dill and cilantro. You can see here where the spent flower-heads are dying but there’s new growth underneath; I really have to get in there and behead it. It makes nice hot tea, meh cold tea, and hanging fresh bunches of it around the balcony keeps the skeeters off. It also seems to be a decoy for cabbage moths.

Canary Zinnia. The seed was sent to me as a gift with one of my seed orders, and this is my first year growing it. -If- I can save some, I’ll definitely be sharing and growing again. It’s a lovely plant, very sturdy, and the bees love it.

Dwarf Castor Oil. I don’t think there’s anything dwarf about it, but then I’m a short green witch myself, so maybe it’s all about perspective. Don’t let the pods lie to you, until they dry the spikes are relatively soft. However, it being castor oil, I don’t recommend it to anyone with ducks, chickens, goats, or anything that might accidentally try talking a nibble or pecking at the beans. I do, however, recommend them from jewelry if you know how to pierce things and so on. They are a gorgeous tiger-stripe pattern.

Say hello to the chard! Say goodbye to the chard! Nothing else, absolutely nothing else since the limas, has given me so much trouble. The deer love getting into my chard bed and destroying it (ergo all the forks). And once I managed to chase those off, the blister beetles showed up in force. This will be the last year I grow it - we just don’t eat enough of it to make it worth my while, and it only occasionally sold at the Farmers’ Market.

Red lettuce - Merlot and Lollo Vino, a combination of bought and saved seed. I planted a red romaine of some sort, too, but unsurprisingly it bolted in the heat. The darker reds of my favorites, though, keep bugs off them, keep deer from noticing them, and keep them from bolting. It’s just now threatening to, and at this point its kind of allowed. I need more seed for next year. Seed for this will likely be shared by the teaspoon-ful.

Calendula! I searched for a long time to find the plain ol’ calendula officinalis ancestor, rather than a cultivar where I would have no way of knowing if the medicinal principles would have been sacrificed for looks. It’s supposed to work well as poor man’s saffron (color, no taste), and I’m going to be soaking the heck outta my feet on it during winter. The plant is... not pretty. It gets leggy and the leaves get grotty very quickly. But it’s very sturdy and as long as you cut the flowerheads off as fast as you can, it’ll keep blooming until well into winter. I usually leave it to go to seed around late September.

Green cilantro seeds. You pick ‘em when they’re brown, but before they drop off the plant. Or you pick ‘em when they’re brown-ing, and put them in a paper bag so they’ll finish ripening there and you don’t end up with fifty wild cilantro plants in your garden >_> Most of the row is already gone, and I’ll be putting in a late dill crop in its place. No such thing as too  much dill!

Don’t let lemongrass lie to you. Unless you tie it up, it will not grow up neat and tidy, as most grass does. Instead it will sprawl like a dramatic wilting Elizabethan lady and do its best to end up under your feet so you’ll feel bad about it. I just tie it up with a half-blade of grass; it dries up and withers away before it can hurt the plant.

I ordered pennyroyal seed because... Well, because it’s something one should have on hand, considering the way the world is going. What I got was Creeping Pennyroyal, which doesn’t care if you step on it (mint family), smells absolutely delightful, and has the most adorable, tiny purple flowers. I plan on harvesting, drying and sprinkling it everywhere in the crawlspace under the house. Making war on cave crickets, wood roaches, and other such sundries, me.

The thyme and Spicy Oregano took a beating in the heat, but they’re slowly bouncing back. The bed behind them is more pennyroyal, desperately in need of weeding, but there’s only one of me, y’know.

SIGH. Just. You absolute, ill-mannered monster of a creature. That would be horseradish, gloriously happy to be alive, as horseradish should be. Also, NOT IN ITS BASKET. Because never mind the rules, I guess.

I don’t even know how I’m gonna dig that up come winter. With some construction equipment, I GUESS. 

Decorative gourd! It’s the only one producing so far, but being the seed was 10+ years old, I’m very pleased.

And an apple gourd (I think?), from a mixture of drying gourds that was only slightly less ancient. Snake, apple and birdhouse gourds. There’s a bunch of them competing in the basket at this point, we’ll see what we will see.

And this, I think, is a great use of a dead canopy frame (the dogs ate the canopy. No, I’m not making it up.) I hope to coax the gourds to grow me a lil’ roof so I can sit in shade, surrounded by pennyroyal anti-skeeter barriers, eating my maters.

My Peter Peppers (nrehehehehe) aren’t producing yet - it takes them a while. But my Chinese 5-Color are getting started. It’s a lovely pepper, both edible and ornamental, with (so I’m told) about four times the heat of a Jalapeno. They’re tiny, with deep purple undertones to the plant. They’ll go purple-white-yellow-orange-red.

The bullhorns, on the other hand, are fairly sizable SWEET peppers on very tiny plants, and I honestly suggest staking them while they’re young so they grow a sturdy trunk, else you might end up with all of them growing at a slant.They’re just now beginning to turn colors. Keeping in mind I’m virulently allergic to peppers (less so sweet than hot, but allergic to all of them), the roommate loves ‘em.

It’s a small pepper bed - mainly to refresh my seed on the hots, and to grow sweets for the roommate. Pardon the nekked bed, the autumn lettuce hasn’t sprouted yet. And yes, that’s a mixed basil/dill bed next to it. My basil grew in patchy holes (NEVER buying from those seed people again), so I filled the holes with dill. Unfortunately, dill seed heads are so fine that they’re hard to photograph well.

The tomato row. After arguing with them for this long, I went the extra mile. Every plant has a metal stake. There’s also a double line growing at the top supporting the stakes so they don’t fall over. And they still fell over. Because why not, you unruly children, why not.

Green, white, pink and brown cherry tomatoes. Delicious!

Two kinds of cucumbers, some of the only decent shots of the dill seed-heads, and a special guest hiding in the shade. I usually plant dill as soon as the cucumber sprouts, to keep cucumber beetles off it. Otherwise I’d have no cucumbers and a lot of fat beetles.

The Muncher is a small cucumber, somewhat delicate. It’s very sensitive to temperature changes, and it’s candy to cucumber beetles - basically, it’s impossible to grow it without a heavy curtain of dill, or a heavy duty decoy. This year I got lucky enough to have both. It’s also delicious pickled, keeping its crunch and getting a good ooomph in flavor.

The Japanese Long is, as the name implies, long. It’s also incredibly bitey, and absolutely scrumptious. It’s sweet! And unlike the average cucumber, it does not go metallic when salted.

And now for the SPECIAL CHILD OF MY HEART. Seriously. I have been lusting after Blue Tea Peas since I first saw them offered, and every single time they’d be sold out pretty much the day of. This year I finally got some and... remember me mentioning that freak freeze that killed the peach blossoms? Yeah. Guess what it also killed. But two plants soldiered on. I have them heavily shielded by the cucumbers, dill and chamomile, and really I have no words for the blue. Pics don’t do it justice. I won’t have the tea this year, I’m saving as much seed as I can, but I am so pleased to have it at all!

 Last, but not least, and it’s a poor shot of it, the chamomile. I cannot drink chamomile to sleep - it does put me to sleep, but it also gives me bad dreams. I plan on using it as a skin wash for all the bug bites, along with the calendula, and to give me some respite from dry skin during winter.

Stay green! See you in fall! Now back to our normal schedule of frogs, cats and nekked men!

[just-dreaming-marvel]

CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE - BREAKFAST

LEGACY: A Tony Stark Daughter Story

MASTERLIST

< previous

Word Count: 1,650ish

Summary: Breakfast is supposedly the most important meal of the day.

~~~

In the shower, I didn’t focus on anything other than cleaning myself up. I still didn’t like looking at my own body, the scars were a reminder of what I had gone through the past couple of months. Not a reminder that I’m a survivor, but a reminder of the horrors. I just wanted to get in and out of there as fast as possible. I quickly washed up, changed into leggings and a long sleeve shirt, and then walked back into the room. Tony was the only one in there, waiting in his chair.

“Where’s Steve?” I asked.

“He went to get some food and clean up.” Tony answered, standing up. “You ready to get out of this room?”

“I thought Helen wanted to check up on me a bit more?”

“She stopped by while you were showering, you’re all clear.” Tony walked over and linked arms with me. I gave him a questionable look. I had a feeling that Helen wasn’t the one to decide that I was good. “Let’s get you out and walking around, shall we?”

“Okay.” I gave him a small smile. We headed out of the room. “Could we possibly stop by the kitchen? I’m hungry.”

“Great idea. I am as well.”

Tony led us out of the Med-Bay and to the kitchen. I kept my eyes forward, not wanting to make eye contact with Tony as he kept awkwardly glancing my way. I was definitely getting my strength back but my legs were still wobbly due to being changed to a table for two months. I was using Tony to keep steady, he could tell and just carefully balanced us out. When we reached the kitchen, Nat was cooking and Rhodey was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee while looking at his phone. Tony led me to the table and helped me down into a chair.

“Bailey!” Nat smiled.

“It’s good to see you out of that bed, kid,” Rhodey greeted as he put down his phone.

“Thanks,” I whispered.

Tony was standing behind me, rubbing my back with one of his hands. “What you cooking Red?” He asked.

“Bacon, waffles, I’ve already got the coffee ready and I’ve cut all sorts of fruit for our girl right there.” She answered, pointing the spatula at me as she referenced to me. 

“Thanks Nat.” I said.

Tony clapped his hands together and headed towards Nat. “Okay B, what do you want?”

“Aren’t I suppose to be on a special diet or something?” I wondered.

“Don’t worry,” Nat said, “I talked to Helen before I started making breakfast. So.. I have bacon, waffles, pineapple, strawberries, raspberries, green apples, bananas, and kiwi. What do you want?”

“How am I suppose to chose?” I replied, with a sly smile. “Those are all my favorite fruits.”

“I know.” Nat smirked. 

“Um… can I have a scoop of all of them?” I hesitantly asked, wincing after the words left my mouth. 

I don’t know why I was so worried to ask. I knew I shouldn’t have been, I was talking about what food I wanted to eat with my own family. And they’ve never refused food before, and most likely never will.

Tony quickly caught on to my nervousness. “You can have what ever you want, sweetheart.” He answered, giving me a gentle smile. I flinched at the nickname, hoping that it was just a slip up. Tony didn’t even seem to notice what he said as he grabbed a bowl and scooped up the fruits into it. He came over and set it on the table with a fork. “Here you go kiddo.” He kissed the top of my head.

“Thanks Dad,” I responded as I picked up the fork.

“Any plans for today?” Rhodey asked.

“Um… I don’t know…” I turned to Tony as I stuffed a piece of fruit in my mouth. “Dad?”

“I was thinking just a nice, easy, relaxing—“ Tony began.

“Who are you and what have you done to my Dad?” I quickly joked. The four of us laughed. It was nice to hear laughter again.

“What? I know how to relax!” 

“Mmmhmm..” I gave his arm a little pat. “Okay Dad.” My sarcasm was probably a little too much at the moment but I loved it and I could feel that he loved it too. 

We all sat around and ate. Rhodey left first, having an important government meeting to get to. Natasha left after getting a phone call from Clint. I knew that it Clint was checking up on me and I could have talked to him myself, but Nat left anyway. Leaving Tony and I alone at the table.

“What do you want to do today B?” Tony broke the silence. “What do you feel up to today?”

“I don’t know…” I shrugged. “Don’t you have somewhere to be, something to do?” I allowed myself to feel what Tony was feeling. It hurt him to hear me say that and his guilt grew. “I’m sorry, Dad. I didn’t mean to hurt you or make you feel more guilty than you already do.”

“It’s okay, sweetie— Wait a minute. How did you know that I was feeling those things?”

I quickly realized the mistake I had made and tried to fix it. “It was just a guess.” I started spiraling inward, mad at myself for not controlling my abilities better.

“No it wasn’t. You tapped into my emotions. We’re going to have to—“

I hadn’t heard a word Tony was saying. I was too busy getting mad at myself. I quickly stood up, causing the chair to fall to the ground. “I’m so sorry,” my words came out in quiet cries. “I didn’t mean to.” Tears began cascading down my face. I started backing away. “I’m so, so sorry.” I turned and ran out.

“Bailey!” Tony shouted. “I’m not mad! Wait! Sweetheart!”

I ignored his shouting, running mindlessly through the corridors until I decided to stop. I turned a corner and slid down the wall, crying into my hands. I needed to get control of my powers or find away to get rid of them, and fast. I couldn’t keep invading peoples private thoughts and emotions. It wasn’t right. Why did I give in? I should have been stronger, should have fought harder to keep everything pushed out. I could hear footsteps approaching, but I couldn’t stop crying.

“Miss?” A male voice called out. “Are you alright?”

I glanced up, barely able to take the man in through my teary eyes as he knelt down in front of me. He held out a hand, going to comfort me and I flinched away. 

“Don’t touch me.” My voice was hoarse, and soft.

“Okay, okay.” He held his hands up, trying to show me that he meant no harm. “Do you know where you are?”

I nodded. “I’m… I’m home.”

“You’re home? I don’t under— Wait. You’re that girl they were looking for. Bailey, is it?” I didn’t answer, just trying to calm my unsteady breathing. “My name’s Quentin. I work for Mr. Stark.” 

“Hi… I-I’m sorry you’re seeing this…”

“It’s okay.” He shook his head. “You were missing for seventy three days. It’s okay for you to freak out.”

“Seventy three days? How do you—“

“Stark. He never stopped searching for you. He kept track of how many days you were missing.” Quentin moved so that he was sitting besides me. “You must really mean something to him.”

Before either of us could say anything else, running footsteps sounded, coming closer to us. I curled into myself, shielding myself from whoever was coming.

“Kid!” Tony’s worried voice filled the hallway. He quickly knelt in front of me. “Are you alright?”

“She’s fine,” Quentin responded. “She was panicking, so I stopped to help her.”

“Thank you, Beck,” Tony said, barely taking his eyes off me.

“Anytime.” Quentin stood up. “Let me know if you ever need anything Bailey.”

I looked up at him, his kind smile warming me inside. “Thank you Quentin.” Then he nodded before taking his leave.

“I’m sorry, Dad…” I whispered once Quentin was gone. 

“Oh, kid…” Tony cupped my cheek, wiping away my tears with his thumb. “I didn’t mean to sound upset, to scare you… I’m so sorry.”

“I really didn’t mean to freak out… I couldn’t even register was was happening, what you were saying… It just feels like I’m living a dream. Like I’m going to wake up any second and still be chained to that table being— being tortured… And then there’s my powers… I remember knowing how to control them and I remember not knowing how to. It’s confusing. It’s like there’s two different lives in my head and I’m trying to figure out which one is real.” I sighed, looking down at my legs. “They’re both real though… that’s the problem. There’s so much going on and so much has happened… I’m just trying to piece it all together… or figure out how to. And I’m sorry if I take it out on you. I promise I don’t mean to.”

Tony quickly wrapped me up in his arms, pulling me into him so that I was curled up onto his lap. “There is no need to apologize. Take your time. I want to do anything I can to help you, even if it means you taking your anger out on me. It’s all going to work out. I promise.”

I promise. I wanted to believe Tony so much. But I couldn’t even number how many times he’s said that phrase and then has broken it. I hugged him tighter, hoping that he couldn’t feel my doubts and hesitations.

“Thanks Dad.”

“Anything for you kiddo.”

next >

[chilvanakin]

If I had to remember how it started, I would have to replay the flashback of being told that when I became obese at 15, that I couldn’t “come crying”. I was 8 when my dad told me this. Afterwards, I had this increasing feeling of being in the wrong body, like I had been misplaced at birth and was suddenly realizing it. I looked around at everyone else, having fun and enjoying their childhood while I compared me to them. I compared me to my best friend who I often I asked, “why can’t I look like you?”

I felt misplaced in a body that was my own, always had been, because someone else told me I was. How do you teach an 8 year old to go on a diet? I loved food, I was a picky eater but aren’t we all at that age? So how do you tell them that they need to change and that they don’t look pretty enough without traumatizing them? My dad now reafirms that he only said that to me because he wanted me to have high self esteem. He wanted me to “take care of myself”.

I developed anorexia at 14. I became obsessed with diet culture, “clean” eating, and exercising until I colapsed. I used my notebooks for tracking my daily intake and writing hateful messages to myself. I would motivate myself through my own hatred. Slowly, I decreased my meals until they weren’t even meals anymore. I thought I was being “healthy” by going on 3 to 4 day fasts, thinking that the kiwi I had before I began was enough. Newsflash, it wasn’t. But I continued.

My family situation got complex during this time. My parents were separated and I felt alone. I distanced myself from my friends and I had also stopped going to school. Everytime I talked to my dad through Skype, he would comment on how I was too thin. Amazingly so, I thought he was complimenting me. I got more and more obsessed, the loss of my period and hair became my motivation. The internet was my best friend because I read all about the “tips & tricks” of starving. I was tired, lonely, cold and angry. I had no patience and I was insufferable. This is what being malnourished will do to you.

After months and months of these rituals that and rules that seemed like an endless of “how to die in 10 days”, I tried to recover. How? By getting into fitness. I did Insanity while I was recovering, which was bullshit because that is NOT recovery. I didn’t challenge myself, I didn’t give my body time to rest- I exercised every day, I underfed and I normalized exhaustion. I was terrified of chocolate, processed foods and fats. The thought of putting on weight became a source of nightmares, LITERALLY. I would have NIGHTMARES about looking down at my body and seeing fat start to accumulate over my bones. Somehow, I thought that since I was exercising and eating more than my standard oatmeal and toast, that I was recovered.

I went to live with my father at 15. I feel like this decision shaped me as a person because I was forced to grow up way too fast. I made choices that no one should make a 15 year old make. At this point in time, I had put on weight and I was no longer exercising. My dad had a baby with this girlfriend of the time and all I wanted to do was be with my new baby brother. I didn’t think about food or dieting because I felt like somehow, watching him eat made me be at peace with food. My baby brother was growing and being nourished by the food we gave him and I wanted to make sure he was never hungry. It made me feel so happy to watch him laugh and wobble his way over to his mom for lunch time. I loved seeing him nibbling with a toothless mouth on a soft cookie, and offering the slobbered leftovers to me. That all stopped very suddenly, because my dad would start to make comments. Not only him, but his girlfriend too. Comments about how I was “eating too much” and how I “would look better if I was smaller”. I was experiencing extreme hunger when I moved in with my dad, because I had stopped exercising and my body no longer was focusing the energy on repairing my muscles, it was focusing on repairing me as a whole. I HAD to eat a lot because I needed to be healthy again. This was thrown completely out of the window and I caved into my disordered brain again. I felt almost grateful to them for motivating me to start losing weight again because I thought that it meant that they cared. So the food rules started again. It’s just that this time I didn’t need to learn the tips and tricks, I already knew them. Losing weight was easier now, and faster. So 2013 was the year I dedicated to my disorder. I restricted long enough that my hunger cues began to fade away. I thought that my body had gotten used to what I was eating. A green apple in the morning, some lettuce leaves and half a red bell pepper for lunch, and a single serving of prepackaged soup at night. My brain stopped screaming at me and I stopped thinking. I was reduced to being a zombie of my disorder. I stopped singing, I stopped writing, I stopped making art. I never cried, I laughed only when I was around other people. My body felt numb. I felt numb.

I remember taking showers and watching as day by day the fur growing all over my bones got longer and longer. I later found out that this is called “lanuga” which happens when you have lost an extreme amount of fat and your body reacts as an attempt at survival by growing these hairs, desperately trying to protect you. I felt tired, I couldn’t carry my baby brother anymore. He would ask me to hold him and I would try, but be very afraid of dropping him so I would have to refuse. I remember how upset he looked, we were so close. He loved being with me but I was so scared of him watching me do these things to myself. What if he learned from me? What if my actions stayed in his subconscious? I tried putting distance between us because of my fears. I hate myself for that because I miss him so much now, I miss the days we would spend and the naps we would take. I can’t take back that time.

We went to the doctor because I now, was at the brink of death. Truly I wish that I could say I’m being dramatic about that, but I’m not. My heart was weak and I could barely move. I was no longer sleeping and even sitting down hurt. My bones felt like knives crushing into my skin. I learned that I was at risk of heart failure and if I didn’t start recovering now, the next step would be having a tube thrusted down my throat. Force feeding. I couldn’t ever let that happen so I decided to once again, embarc on a lonely recovery path. As soon as I left the doctors, I told my dad to buy me chocolate. In response, he was annoyed. He thought that I was going to use my “verge of death illness” as an excuse to get obese. I cannot make this up y’all. He didn’t buy me shit and barked at me about how “you can eat at home”. Please, if anyone you know is going through restrictive eating disorder and they say they want chocolate- BUY THEM THE FUCKING CHOCOLATE!

I began refeeding and it was the most difficult thing I had ever done in my life. I couldn’t stomach food. I would eat and instantly have diarrhea. I had to have baby sized portions of food to be able to hold it down. This caused my weight to drop more, so I was now at the point where I actually did need to be hospitalized. I was afraid that I was going to die at any given point of the day. My dad once told me that “just because you have to start eating again doesn’t mean you can get as fat as you used to be”. I cried. This was the first time I had cried in so long. My numbed down feelings reflourished. The hate, the anger, the sadness I bottled up began overflowing. I didn’t stop eating, I gave myself the time I had to so I could stabilize myself. I was sent to go spend a few months with my dad’s girlfriend’s family. I barely knew these people, but they couldn’t handle me being this sick anymore. They didn’t want me. I was a bad influence to my brother. I was hurting them. My dad would have hated me if I told him I needed to be in the hospital, because that’s too much money so this was the easy way out. I guess if I needed to be hospitalized while I was there, it wouldn’t have to come out of his pocket.

I hated being away from my baby brother. I hated acting happy all the time when I was so depressed and furious. I tried making friends during my time away and all of them idolized my sick body. They asked me how I got to that point. I remember telling them I was sick, that I had to eat. They made me feel like that wasn’t neccesary, that I looked like a model. I ate anyway. I couldn’t go back home and still be sick, that would mean that I would be hated by them and maybe even have to leave home.

After a few months I gained some weight. I went back home. I asked my dad’s girlfriend if I was “fine now”, as in “am I not scary anymore”. She said I still looked very thin, but that it was fine. She told me not to go overboard. This meant “DO. NOT. GET. FAT.”

My dad and his girlfriend separated after a year and a half of my recovery. This whole period was very stressful since I was left alone with my dad. I was weight restored and I found some kind of peace with having no peace. I lived with the comments as a daily thing. “Don’t eat that, why don’t you do some arm exercises, you don’t really want that, why don’t those pants fit you anymore.” I got used to feeling foreign in my body. So being extremely malnourished was bad, bein inbetween wasn’t good enough and being restored to my set weight was just awful. I had no idea who I was or what I was supposed to be. I hated myself and I got used to that.

I am now 23 years old and I relapsed a few months ago. I understand now that I was never recovered. I was begging for help for years, but I got irritation and annoyance as a response. I never stopped having food rules, I never stopped being afraid of food. I cannot recover until my brain is completely rewired. I have to eat. I have to lose my fear around food. I have to HATE my disorder and push it out of every one of my pores until I am completely cleansed of it. I remember reading about how “this disorder never leaves you and you will always struggle with it”. I believed that for so long. I believed that I was never going to stop being afraid. I’m tired of feeling comfortable with my anorexia when it has ruined me to the point of feeling completely astranged from my body. I want to know who I am and not hate myself for it. I can’t recover fully until I rewire myself. Keep this with you. You cannot believe you are recovered just because some doctor tells you that you are weight restored. Your food rules need to disappear competely, you need to challenge yourself even if it terrifies you. I am so afraid, but I don’t ever want to go down this disordered path again. I want to spend time with the people that love me and not let anything get in my way. I am young and I am smart. So are you. Eat your fears.