#i just feel violently anxious and then don’t know how to talk

[sunstainedpages]

.

[shmpxx]

CURSED SPIRIT — y.o

⛤ curse! yuuta okkotsu x fem! reader

yuuta okkotsu being your one and only curse.

cw. smut. unprotected sex. creampies. multiple orgasms. groping. dry humping. public sex-ish. fingering. slight oral (f. receiving). overstimulation. thigh fucking. somnophilia. possessiveness. yandere tendencies. mentions of violence. +18!

wc: 1.2k

a/n: inspired by @deviants-forest work! etc. (go check it out) also happy kinktober! :)

Curse!yuuta who creeps up your back, his hands finding your waist and his lips tickle your ear as he’s whispering how much he needs you on a subway train to home. “Not now…” you whisper over your shoulder to him trying not to be noticeable by others who crowded you and payed no mind, too busy on their phones. You bit your bottom lip when he presses himself against your ass in one movement already having your blood rush like crazy. You try to keep your composure like nothings bothering you but yuuta’s hard on humping into you desperately, whining in your ear and his cold hands reaching under your shirt to grope your boob. “need you ‘s bad” he was always touchy, could never keep his hands off you.

Curse!yuuta who doesn’t mind your sorcerer friends as long as they don’t get too close. Your friends can sense the heavy weight of cursed energy from you, even if they got close it was too much to bare sense yuuta was around, the air would fill thick and negative. You could barely go out with them to eat without his fingers buried in your cunt and playing your clit. They would ask you if you were okay when your head is down on the table but you just excuse it as you were not feeling well for a second but yuuta is grinning ear to ear, amused how your well your taking his slender fingers, curling them inside and you can’t help but squirm in your seat acting like your stomach is just hurting though you were about to orgasm. “Please yuuta..” you whisper to him “Come on you can cum on my fingers..” his raspy tone sending you shivers down your back.

Curse!yuuta who watches an “old friend” hug you, his hands in places that shouldn’t be. After you would praise yuuta for staying calm but yuuta would give shake his head only because you would be upset if he did anything and simply gave you a warning “Next time I’ll break his arm” “You can’t be serious” you sigh, you always knew he was.

Curse!yuuta who clenches his fist watching some prick try to flirt with you in front of him knowing he can’t be seen. Even the second time you reject him you can feel yuuta’s anger grow by the second that in any moment he would take action. “I-i have a boyfriend-“ praying yuuta doesn’t get violent “I don’t see him?” His hand coming up to touch your shoulder now he’s on the floor shouting in pain, blood from his broken nose all over his hands, shaken up that he didn’t see anyone hit him? Was he going crazy? “Pathetic” Yuuta mutters luckily he held back a lot, he could do so much worse and this wasn’t the first time.

Curse!yuuta who gets anxious that you might hate him when you get into arguments. He feels like he can’t exist without you, he’s nothing without you and the thought of you hating him makes his heart sink and scared that he’ll be all alone. He didn’t care about anyone else he just needed you. The amount of times you got tired of telling him not to hurt people and you could handle the situation yourself. He’ll plead you not to hate him and apologized excessively. “We can talk about this tomorrow” his stomach sinking by the tone of your voice that it will all end up to you hating him. He couldn’t stand the feeling.

Curse!yuuta who wants to let you know how much he loves you and how much he needs you, praying you don’t leave him or hate him. He glares at you in your sleeping state though he can’t wait til tomorrow he needed you to know now. “Please don’t hate me” “i love you so much” as he’s softly kissing your neck on each side, peeling your panties off. The cold air makes your cunt clench at his sight. He’s kissing the inner of your thighs sweetly and his lips makes contact with your pussy and a small whimper emits from your mouth. “Yuuta” you utter half sleep thinking it was only a sex dream, you were a heavy sleeper at that. he’s burying his lips between your folds trying to get more like he was so starved. If he can just make you feel good you won’t be mad at him and you can forgive him.

Curse!yuuta who can’t wait any longer, his dick pulsating through his pants even how much he gets drunk off your pussy, he loves the taste of it every time but he’s rutting against the mattress. Brings your thighs together to slip his cock between, throwing his head back letting out quiet moans as his cock is rubbing against your clit between your thighs. Your eyelids almost twitching open. He spreads your legs apart and sinks his dick into you watching your pretty lashes flutter at the sudden pleasure of you being spread apart. “Yu..?” You begin to stir awake, he kisses your lips before you start to fully take consciousness. “I don’t want you to hate me” “forgive me please” as he’s thrusting harsh inside you and swallowing your lips. By the time your walls were the shape of him every time he used you so it was easy for him to slide right in, you were made for him and he was made for you was the thought that brought him comfort. His fingers entwines with yours, his cock continuously rubbing hard in your insides. “Yuuta!” You moaned beautifully in his ear, your hand clawing at his back, yuuta loved it, it didn’t hurt him because you could never hurt him he didn’t mind it.

Curse!yuuta not wanting to stop, he’ll never get tired of cumming and filling up your pussy. You’ll be overstimulated begging him to stop it was awfully much to handle, you couldn’t cum anymore but you did as he’s plunging his cock in your abused cunt. The choke sobs and sounds of squelching filled the room “Need you-need you tell me you love me…please f-forgive me..ah!” Rubbing your clit increasing more nerves. “I-i love you yuuta! Ah-I really do! I could never be mad at you” Your words lifting weight off his chest still pounding into you. Holding you in a warm embrace to finish inside you. When he did filling up your womb one last time with his string of cum, your nails dig into his back letting your last orgasms crash into you. You let out a cry into his shoulder, your body trembles.

Curse!yuuta who needs constant reassurance you’ll never leave him, placing gentle kisses on each part of his face. Even though he’s nothing but a curse to you, being invisible to the outside world, Has a hard time showing remorse it’s just what he does to protect you, he somewhat doesn’t know that but knows he can be a bit possessive he just can’t help the urges of anyone getting close to you or worse even laying a finger.

Curse!yuuta bending you over the counter in the morning as you were trying to make yourself breakfast, last night was rough you were a bit sore but yuuta still misses your pussy. “Just a quick one I promise! I miss you so much! I’m just displaying my love for you—“ he pushes himself inside your worn out cunt from last night once again, you whimper at the feeling each time he rolls his hips when his balls slap against you. His hands reaching to your tit, massaging it in his palms. You don’t think you could ever break the curse from yuuta okkotsu.

[flanaganfilm]

Do you have any “don’t meet your heroes” stories from working in Hollywood?

Absolutely. Hollywood really is a place like no other. If you grow up loving cinema, certain people can take on mythic status in your imagination. Actors, filmmakers; they are larger than life. They become idols in the truest sense - an image that is actually worshipped. But Hollywood is actually full of very weird human beings who have been lucky enough to make their living in a world of make-believe. A huge percentage of the people who work in this industry are strange birds, unsuited for working anywhere else.

Some of our biggest stars wouldn't last ten minutes working a real job; some of our most exalted filmmakers collapse inward if they're in a crowded room. They can have unusual talents, or beauty, or unique perspectives and abilities that have propelled them to various levels of success, or even stardom, but they're just normal, neurotic people.

And success, fame, and money can really twist people. It can be like radiation. They can go full Gollum from it.

But most people who work in Hollywood are not stars at all. The vast majority of people who work here are not rich, not famous. Most are hardworking craftsmen and craftswomen who are fighting every day to make a living, scraping by the best they can in an industry that is brutal, impersonal, and impenetrable. But every single person in this business - whether they are superstars or not - are just ordinary people. They're insecure, anxious, and prone to all of the failings we mortals are prone to. Some of them are awesome; some of them are assholes. But most of the people here (even the superstars) quietly feel like they don't belong, or that they don't deserve it, or that their sheer ordinariness will be discovered any minute. In fact, it's the people who seem to feel the opposite - those rare people who feel that they DO belong here, and deserve the lifestyle this industry can afford, who are inevitably the least likable ones I've met.

As I've been lucky enough to keep working in this business, I've met a lot of the people who I idolized along the way. Filmmakers and actors who I admire so much, whose work has shaped the trajectory of my life without them knowing it. I've been starstruck every time, and I am still am - I stammer, I freeze, and I kick myself for what I say, or don't say, or how I said it. I'm not good at it. I have acute social anxiety, and when you throw me at someone I admire, I turn into a blubbering idiot. They say "don't meet your heroes" because you may (likely will) be disappointed by just how ordinary they truly are. Or worse, they may even turn out to be people you wouldn't want to interact with in normal circumstances - your heroes might be people you wouldn't want to invite to coffee. The persona you have admired is a product in itself, something you bought, something you have taken home and displayed proudly in your imagination... but the human being behind that persona is full of all the ordinary failings. That can be really hard to reconcile. So yeah, a long-winded way of saying that I've had the experience of meeting people I admired a great deal only to be disappointed, or worse. I've got some nightmare stories in there where the actual person violently shattered the idol I'd built in my imagination. I won't share those stories, there's little point in that, but instead I'll talk about the rare exceptions - the few heroes I've met who were every bit as awesome as I'd hoped they'd be. They may say "never meet your heroes," but they haven't met Mark Hamill. I worked with Mark on The Fall of the House of Usher, and he is one of my favorite people. Kind, generous, humble, and so, so funny. I was nervous and excited to meet Mark for the obvious reasons, because of the hero he was in my imagination - but I got to meet Mark the actor, the father, the husband, the humanitarian, and the friend. Guillermo Del Toro - one of my biggest heroes, his work has meant so much to me. And I was terrified to meet him. But he is one of the most joyful, honest, sweet-natured people I've met in the business, and his love for movies is infectious. For me, the man himself exceeded the myth.

I've been lucky to meet other exceptions to this rule, heroes of mine who exceeded my expectations - Ewan McGregor, Mick Garris, Brian Henson, Heather Langenkamp, Henry Thomas - and yeah, I've had the other experience too. But I try to focus on the exceptions. It can be unhealthy to idolize people - unhealthy for you, and unhealthy for them. But it's truly awesome when someone is even more amazing than you imagined.

[wonwayne]

then because she goes ☁️ yang jungwon

pairing : idol!jungwon x gn!reader genre : angst, some comfort warnings : cursing, one violent thought word count : 0.8k

a/n : just read wuthering heights so here comes the brontë-infused angst !!

“—because you’re never home when you say you’ll be, and it’s actually— you— how much of an asshole do you have to be to think you can take me out on the one night i don’t want to? when i’ve cleared out my schedule in the evenings for months to be with you? this is the night you choose, and i have to go along with it?? that’s pretty fucking amazing, won. pretty fucking insane.”

jungwon kept quiet as your voice raised, aware that you were absolutely right. if he had really seen you as a priority, he could’ve worked quicker through a practice or left a team dinner early to get to you sooner. he wasn’t sure how he’d ever looked at that heavenly face — this heavenly face — and thought to pass up on it. and he certainly had no words of justification now, you staring daggers at him with heartbroken eyes. they took his breath away.

“i’m so sorry,” he said slowly, ready to be cut off at every next syllable. “i know i’ve been terrible these past few months. i’ve been meaning to make it up to you, really. i just—” he glanced at the clock. 8:14. was it worth saying? “i got a reservation at your favorite place, i thought you’d want—”

“you must not know me at all.” could a gaze pierce any harder?

jungwon attempted not to appear hurt. “i know your favorite restaurant,” he offered, half-playfully.

you shook your head. “you don’t know me. you don’t know how to listen.” you looked up at him forlornly. “i just told you i have no intention of leaving the house with you right now. didn’t you hear me? don’t you… ugh, can’t you…” you searched blindly for the right words. “can’t you just let me have my way for once?”

as soon as the question left your lips, you felt so hopelessly like a child that your whole body seemed to physically contract, surrendering its capacity to keep tears in. you were choking up.

jungwon took a step forward, some vague motion of aid, but you couldn’t bear to fall apart in front of him — the last thing you wanted was his assistance, him treating you like something small, something solvable. with a sharp pivot, you ran hastily into the bathroom and shut your boyfriend out. as soon as you did, your knees gave in and your body sank to the tiles, back pressed against the door.

when he came to knock, softly, desperately, you could feel the thumps through the wood.

“baby?” he sounded so gentle, it sent shivers down your spine. “can i— can i come in?” silence. “please?” silence. “if you want to be alone, i’ll go, but— i promise i won’t say a word.”

silence; then sobs, from your side of the door, so quiet they could’ve been gulps. jungwon winced, leaning back for a moment to tune out the weeping — otherwise, he knew he, too, would crumble in two seconds.

“darling,” he resumed after a pause, voice thin, practically begging: “please, please don’t cry. please, darling, y— love, you’re killing me. please. i love you. and i’m sorry. i’m so, so sorry. please.”

the bathroom grew hauntingly quiet. something in jungwon’s gut told him that any minute now, when he least expected it, you’d smash the door in his face and leave him bleeding there as long as one ethically could. not because that was your nature — obviously it wasn’t — but the noiselessness was terrifying, and at this point, he sincerely felt that he deserved nothing better for making you cry, if for nothing else.

an anxious eternity passed before the door cracked open, and jungwon could finally talk to you, face to tear-streaked face. only, everything he had planned to say deflated immediately at the sight of you.

you broke the silence this time. “i think we missed dinner.”

jungwon stared back at you, unable to control the pout taking shape on his lips and the tears welling in his eyes. “i missed you.” he shook his head, trying again: “i missed you.”

you brushed away his tears gingerly with your thumb, taking his whole body in your arms. it was the most natural thing you felt yourself doing all evening. “baby, i was right here,” you whispered, as if you needed to confirm your closeness through words, too.

“i know,” he sighed, “but you were gone forever. almost.”

“mm. something to consider next time you tell me you’re coming home at 7 and come at 7 in the morning.”

jungwon nodded firmly, taking your hands in his. “there won’t be a next time like that. promise.”

your silence sanctioned his resolve — no words were needed to confirm how you trusted jungwon to keep his promises.

[ervotica]

this isn’t so much specifically about rafe but i’m low-key obsessed with polycule rafe x reader x barry. especially in their dominance with her, because it feels so inherently different. on the surface, barry’s is so much softer but there’s a sinister bite to it, as opposed to rafe who affronts it, but when push comes to shove and reader needs help, she’ll go to him. like the best way to describe it is, reader feels safe with barry but protected with rafe.

yes yes this is all so true! rafe & barry even each other out and i love that for miss reader </3

barry appears outwardly softer with you, all soft touches and smearing kisses along your cute features when you crinkle your nose at him. sitting you in his lap when you’re tired and holding glasses of water to your lips when you’re thirsty so that you don’t have to exert yourself in your sleepy state— generally, barry is playful with you and very soft.

that courtesy only extends so far; you rile him up, you push his buttons in any way, there will absolutely be hell to pay. you can locate the bite to his words from a mile away, the hidden violent streak that wards you off from pushing him too much despite his leniency when it comes to his baby girl.

rafe is argumentative; he pushes back when you mouth off, dishing out as many punishments as he sees fit until he’s sure you’ve learned your lesson. he’s harder to crack than barry, more guarded with his affections, and you have to push past the way his nonchalance twinges at your heart and remind yourself that’s just how he is.

then you get into trouble— real trouble. some prissy kook girl running her mouth at a kegger and suddenly you’re hitting the bitch, breaking her nose and sealing one of her eyes shut at the very least.

you call rafe in a blind panic— you only did it ‘cos she was talking smack about him and barry, you justify, the petulant whine in your cadence vanishing and being replaced with an anxious wobble that drives rafe into action as white-hot panic seizes his own heart.

“‘s okay, baby. i know you jus’ did what you had to do. i get it, okay? ‘ve been there too many times… yeah, yeah, i’ll come get ya, little firecracker.”

you plant your ass on the sidewalk, comforted in the fact that rafe will be here any second when the girl’s boyfriend decides to run up on you. you stumble back, arms out protectively, babbling about how your boyfriend’s gonna be here any minute so he’d better quit it. he grabs your arm hard enough to bruise the soft flesh, getting in your face as he sneers about how his girlfriend was right to say those things and your boyfriend isn’t going to do shit.

you spit back that she shouldn’t have run her mouth if she didn’t want someone to shut her up, and the guy’s features contort in unmistakable rage as he rears back to… hit you?

a fist collides with his jaw before he makes it even another step, and there’s an audible crunch as the guy hits the concrete face-first. rafe stands over him, chest heaving, knuckles bruised and bloodied. the guy still makes to get up, stopped short by a boot to the rib, kicking until he stays fucking down, gasping and limbs askew on the ground.

rafe has you against his chest in an instant, hooking a shoulder beneath your armpit to press his cheek to yours and curse you for being an antagonistic little shit. but he’s softened, his hard edges melting away as he fusses over you, brushing hair back from your eyes and checking you over for cuts and bruises. you get to the car and your bottom lip wobbles, knees tucking in tightly against your chest.

“you gonna tell bar?” you sniffle, cheek smushed against your knee.

“have to, baby,” he murmurs. “he’s not gonna be mad, i promise.”

“are you mad?”

he bristles. “c’mere,” he beckons, arms open in a rare display of affection as you climb over the center console of the car and into his lap. he drags slow lines across your cheekbone with swollen knuckles. “i’m not mad, baby. i’m not pleased, but this isn’t something anyone’s gonna punish you for.”

you will the tears back, fighting the onslaught as your adrenaline drops and you sag. he hooks arms around your waist to pull you closer.

“none of that,” he says gruffly, sitting up to gauge your expression at eye level. “you’re a good girl, okay? jus’ looking out for us, yeah?”

you nod tersely, pushing into his grasp, greedily seeping up every inch of affection you can pull from him. “‘m sorry.”

“let’s go home, yeah?”

barry forgoes any lecturing when you return with one curt stare from rafe and the sight of your pouting bottom lip alone. he bundles you up and murmurs lowly against your skin as you hum and close your eyes, preening sadly. wetness clings to your eyes, pooling against the smudged black caked at your waterline.

rafe makes an entire display out of the way he relents for you, his eyes softening in worry despite the way he bristles and attempts to harden his features; one sad look from you and he’s gathering you back up for a squeezing cuddle and pressing a begrudging kiss to the crown of your skull.

“jus’ go t’sleep, kid. love you, okay?”

you know he does, but hearing him say it sends adoration roiling through your chest in a wave.

“love you more,” you whisper as he kisses right between your pinched brows, pushing you back towards barry.

“you softening old country club up, angel?” the dark haired man snorts, shucking up the duvet until it’s laid over your shoulders as you tuck your face into the juncture of his neck. you roll your eyes at the nickname.

“maybe a little,” you muse, a laugh bubbling at the base of your throat despite the sorrow that sits heavy in your bones.

“there’s my girl.”

[taerple]

JOHN PRICE - HIDE AND SEEK

— warning: in no way this is meant to sexualize anyone, this is all entertainment purposes only. thanks for reading.

- stalking. obsessive behavior. harsh language. mention of killing. knife play and smut scenes.

It’s pathetic, I’m pathetic. Knowing that I feel safe and peaceful when my deranged fucking stalker is around everywhere that I am? I do, it makes me sick to even admit it. The safer his presence makes me feel around him, I get terrified of him twice as much. It’s horrifying to know that I could lose my life any day now, not that he wants to kill me, quite the opposite actually.

He wouldn’t— but he could if he wanted to, and I can’t win against him. He loves to see the terrified look etched on my face every time he’s outside of my house, vulnerable and anxious. He wants me to be scared of him.

He loves seeing me cover in the safety of my own house, unable to do anything more than watch as his face contorts with glee whenever he sees me. I hate myself for not being able to fight back, I stand no chance. This man knows me inside out— he can probably predict what I’d do in any and every situation.

I can’t let him get the satisfaction of seeing me tremble within my skin. I can’t let him win every single time he decides to scare me by roaming outside my house, trying to instill a sense of dread inside me. I can’t even talk to anyone without making sure they don’t lose their lives— especially guys.

I know that if a guy even wishes to talk to me, he’s probably going to sew their vocals chords shut. No, he’s definitely going to. No amount of security can confine this man. Nothing. Everything I’ve tried has failed. He always finds some way to maneuver around the system. But that’s okay, because this time I’ll show him that I’m not scared of him. Even if I am, like every night, he’ll stop by— he’ll roam around my house like always, sometimes would send me a text message, and then he’ll leave.

But this time I’ll find the perfect moment, just a small crack in his plan and I’ll flee away from here. He’ll be here soon…

Just the thought of him makes my hair stand. I focused on my breathing, listening intently to outside noises. My head whips towards the noise of a branch cracking outside. He’s here.

I grab a knife just in case things don’t go accordingly— and tiptoe towards a window in my living room. I peeked through the tiny opening while looking at his hooded figure, my breath hitches. He halts in his steps, taking out his phone, seeing his fingers rapidly pressing on the screen.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket before slowly taking it out…

I must be looking good today, seeing how hard you’re staring at me.

Furrowing my brows, I look away from the screen and back at him just to see him looking right directly at me. Shit…

He begins walking west from my front door, starting to roam around my house like usual. I wait for a minute, knowing that he’ll be on the opposite side from my front door, and then I rush towards the door. But I immediately freeze hearing keys jingle. Wait a damn minute, why is he here? He’s supposed to be on the other side.

I hear him inserting the key in the lock. My legs develop a mind of their own as I dashed to the nearest wall and hid behind it. The door cracks open, revealing a tall hooded figure as he starts to walk around. Few minutes later, I hear his footsteps going upstairs. Now’s my chance.

I charge for the door when suddenly I stopped dead in my track. “Going somewhere, my love?” I gulped and slowly turned around and there he was, walking downstairs. I feel the liquid adrenaline pumping through my body. I just froze, I couldn’t even move an inch. His deep British accent voice rings inside my skull.

“You’re too scared to run, aren’t you?” I whimper involuntarily. He’s right. My knees begin to tremble while he grin widens, knowing he got under my skin. I come back to my senses before holding my knife up— my hands slightly shaking violently.

“Stay the fuck away from me.” I muttered out, my voice slightly cracking.

“Do you like games, sweetheart?” He questions challengingly, his words drenched in cockiness. I shake my head slowly. He slightly smirks before continuing.

“How about a game called Hide and Seek? If you can hide for ten minutes without being caught, then I’ll leave, forever.” He raises his eyebrows, studying my face. For someone who has been infatuated with me for almost three months, disappearing altogether in ten minutes doesn’t sound promising. Either way, I don’t care. I’ll do whatever it takes— and if ten minutes is all it takes, then so be it.

“Start counting.” He commands, before he exits out of the front door and circling my house— making sure I don’t try to officially run away in the process. There are absolutely no hiding spots in my fucking house. I managed to find a compact space in my closet, just enough for my body to squeeze in.

A few minutes later, I hear the front door close— and his heavy boots clanking on the floor. I count the minutes in my head. Approximately seven minutes later, I realize that I don’t hear him.

I quietly crawl out, making sure I don’t creak my floors— which ends up taking some time to reach. He’s nowhere. I have about fourteen seconds, and it’s over. I swiftly moved— being cautions of my surroundings as I make my way to the front door. Counting down the seconds in my head, I reached for the doorknob, twisting it and flipping the door opened on the last few seconds.

Before I could dashed out, someone grabs me by my waist and pushed me on the hard cold floor— my back colliding harshly with it. “Gotcha. Did you think you can really outsmart me? You have no fucking idea who I am. You can’t get past me even if you wanted to. I hope what I’m going to do next answers your previous questions, yeah?” He hisses before hovering above me— his hands are on my throat, slightly knocking the air out of my lungs.

I struggled, attempting to shove him away but my efforts are futile. Suddenly, he leans down close to me and presses his lips onto mines— this shouldn’t feel good— I shouldn’t like this. The way his lips mould with mine, leaving no space between us. How is tongue explores my mouth greedily, licking into me. How he touches me everywhere. I don’t have a damn choice— I managed to roughly push him off of me, gasping for air. My chest was slightly burning while my heart was racing rapidly.

One of his hands is around my throat while the other grabs the knife is my hand that I had long forgotten about. “What should I do with you, hm?” I struggle against him, but his strong hold is tight. He waves the knife around my cheek, my shaking body risking getting sliced. “Or maybe I should cut that pretty tongue of yours.” He slightly scoffs, the tip of the knife slightly pushing onto my bottom lip, making a tiny cut as blood tickles down my chin.

“Open your mouth.” He orders, and I comply, feeling his grip on my throat slowly loosen. I opened my mouth which was slightly twitching and trembling in fear before he slowly inserts the knife, the flat blunt surface of the cold metal on my tongue— being careful not to cut the inside of my mouth. “Or maybe I should…” his sentence trails off as his eyes set on my throbbing cunt. He slowly leads the tip of the knife between my legs, only a centimeter away from my core. “Take it off.” He demands, gently gazing against my clit through my shorts.

“Come on sweetheart, take ‘em off.” His tone sounds so reassuring but his actions are the complete opposite. My fingers move and hook around the hem of my shorts, pulling them off roughly. I can feel the pool of my arousal painting my thighs and soaking my panties.

His orbs instantly latch down there. “Does this excite you? How fucking adorable.” His smokey laugh pinches my ears, and I feel the humiliation swell my skin. The knife slips under the hem and cuts off the string on both sides.

I gasped— completely bottomless, and aching. He turns his knife around so he grips the sharp metal, the tight grip making his palm start to bleed. The handle stops at my opening— then I feel it slowly pushing inside, causing me to moan slightly. “Come on baby, let it out.” He commanding voice booms out while he thrusts deeper— his thumb circling on my clit roughly.

The pleasure builds more and more until it explodes inside of me, flooding my system with immense pleasure. My eyes flutter shut and my mouth hangs open as my entire body tenses— it’s almost unbearable. He moves my hair aside, pressing his warm lips on my neck and placing featherlight kisses there.

“Good girl.” He praises, before embracing me in his strong arms. “No matter where you go or what you do, you’ll always be my prey— and I’ll always hunt you down.”

[muekyn]

can i request eren acting a little crazy? like telling you he loves you so much he won't *ever* let you leave him in a serious tone but you think he's just messing around, being cute (totally unaware of how crazy he can be)

your work is really nice btw, i reallllly like how you write eren <3

a/n: hi hi! thank you so much for your patience, i absolutely loved writing this <3 anything with obsessive/unhinged eren has me at my mercy... and thank you for your kind words aaa im so happy you enjoy my writing! seriously, it means alot! content: pre-established relationship, yandere themes? (more like obsessive), fluff, one teeny tiny mention of death word count: 1.1k - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

intense, possessive, enthralling.

that’s the best way to describe eren’s love. he loves fully, he loves completely. he loves until there’s nothing left in his essence, until his bones are withered away, his eyes are dull and tired, and his heart no longer beats.

and he loves you. undeniably so.

eren makes it known to you, every second you two are together. whether that’s a small squeeze of your shoulders, or pressing his lips against your forehead, little acts of affection are thrown your way, very often.

and although he’s undoubtedly sweet with you, he’s colder to others. a bit more hostile. with a piercing toxicity in his voice, and a deeply seeded fire in his gaze, eren does whatever he can to ward off any “threats”.

but in eren’s eyes, everyone’s a threat. no one can be trusted. you’re just too sweet. too sweet for eren to let you out of his sight. too sweet for eren to ever let you go.

you’re such a good person to him. he cherishes that endlessly.

you’re so good. in eren’s eyes, your affection and care for him was something that had to be protected. at any cost.

anyone who dared to disrupt that, even slightly, would pay dearly.

after a particularly nasty week, eren felt himself getting irritable. anxious, even. a few men actually had the nerve to approach you. there was even one bastard that tried to ask you out on a date. all week, there were people staring at you, people talking to you, people flirting with you. in fact, the one filthy rat who asked you out even decided to touch you. just a simple hand on your shoulder, but it was enough.

it was enough to send eren into a state of fuming panic. endlessly, he replayed the scenarios from this week in his mind. whenever he thought back on it, punching the guy who touched you didn’t seem like enough of a punishment.

…what exactly were you doing to him? can’t you see how much he loves you, cares about you, wants to protect you?

was this your intentions? to leave eren scared, threatened, and so violently angry?

the feeling of uncertainty weighed on him, it ate away at him. you needed to be his. undoubtedly. forever.

as the two of you spent time at eren’s place, both of you attempting to relax in his room, he felt his restlessness and anxiety skyrocket.

you sit at the small desk in eren’s room while you halfheartedly tear apart an outrageously expensive piece of bread. eren is sitting a little way away from you, resting himself on the edge of his bed.

“-you know, i’ll never understand why that lady sells her bread for so much more than everybody else,” you say. “it’s not even that good.”

“mmh,” eren simply grunts out, his mind evidently not focused on the casual conversation at hand.

“…you feeling alright, ren?” you hum at him, looking at him from the corner of your eye. “is my bread talk boring you?”

“it’s not that,” eren responds. “i just…”

he goes silent for a moment.

the utterly obsessive feelings eren had, combined with the events from this week, made him slip. just a little.

“…i’m never going to let you go. ever. you’re mine…“ eren trails off. “you’ll always be mine. i know we’re meant to be together.”

“…oh? is that so?” you smile at him, a little giggle falling from your lips. “where is this coming from, hm?”

“i just don’t want to lose you,” eren says, his eyes locked onto you. “you matter to me, more than anything.”

you give him a cute smile, tilting your body so that you’re facing eren.

“aw, that’s sweet of you…” you say, evidently delighted by his words. “you’re important to me too eren.”

“i hope so,” eren murmurs. “…fuck. i’d do anything for you.”

“anything, huh?” you chirp up.

“anything,” eren breathes. “…i’d burn the world for you, you know.”

“well, i hope you don’t do that… i live there,” you say with a small laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

“i really mean it…” eren replies.

a deep sigh leaves eren’s lips before he continues his sentence. “there’s nothing i wouldn’t do for you. honestly, i feel like i could kill someone for you.”

“oh- let’s not go that far…” you trail off.

“i mean- i just... i can’t stop thinking about you… i can’t stop looking at you… fuck- you just really mean a lot to me. i don’t want you to ever leave me…”

he stares at the ground, his eyes locked onto the wooden floor.

“…i’m not going to leave you, ren… ever,” you softly reply, setting your torn bread down.

hastily getting up from your chair, you make your way over to eren. as you take a seat on his plush bed, eren’s attention drifts from the paneled floor to your beautiful irises. once he catches himself looking at you, it’s hard for him to look away. it feels impossible to look away.

eren mumbles. “i wouldn’t be able to handle it. i don’t think i could see you with another person, ever. god… like that guy from earlier. he pisses me off.”

“eren…” you sigh softly.

“fuck- what a piece of shit. no one should be flirting with you,” he spits out, clearly working himself up at this point. “only me. it should only be me. i don’t want anyone even looking at you in that way. just the thought alone makes me want to-“

“ah- i get it, i get it,” you say, taking his hands in yours.

a reassuring smile flashes across your face, trying to deescalate eren’s creeping anger. gently, you give his palms a squeeze. “like i said eren, nothing is going to happen. you’re all i want, all i need. please, don’t worry.”

the tension that was previously evident in eren’s hands starts to ease. the look on his face is calmer, more relaxed.

“god- i’m sorry. i just really love you,” eren breathes to you. “you’re too good to me…i don’t know how i deserve you.”

“oh, don’t say that,” you say, comfort coaxing your voice. “…i love you too, though. just try your best to remember that, okay?”

a slow nod comes from eren. you lean into him, nuzzling your nose into the crook of his neck. letting go of his hands, you trail your fingers up his forearms, your digits caressing his skin as you wrap your arms around him. your hug is soft and gentle, almost hesitant. there’s a fluttering in eren’s chest, a vibrancy quite literally making him glow as you embrace him.

eren lets a small smile crack through his lips. vulnerability is still undeniably scrawled on his expression. it always is. ultimately, he just wants more of you, more experiences of you, more time with you.

but for now, just hearing your sweet, songlike voice tell eren that you love him, is enough. just feeling your supple skin shyly brush against him, is enough.

everything about you, was enough.

[paradiseismine]

Finn and his characters tying you up - Headcanons

Pairing: Finn Wolfhard + Finnverse characters x f!reader

Love note from Nina: Yes, all of Finn’s characters would tie their partner up. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.

Summary: Headcanons for Finn Wolfhard and his characters, on how each one of them would tie you up sexually.

Warnings: a bit of kinky stuff, but no smut. kinda fluffy I guess (?)

Finn Wolfhard (himself)

How did he bring it up the first time?

Finn said he needed to talk. You got curious and even a bit anxious, he seemed to want to keep a very serious tone to the conversation. His face was absolutely flushed as he grabbed your hands and, looking into your eyes, said:

- Babe, I want you to know that I love you and respect you very much, ok? It’s been such a joy and a privilege to have you in my life… To get to call you mine, to be a part of your life, to kiss you, to make love to you, all of it. It’s just that… I’d like our intimacy to be a bit more, uhm, intense, you know?

- I love you too, babe. You’re my everything. But I don’t think I understand… What do you mean by that? - you asked, fondly. Finn scratched the back of his neck, apprehensive.

- Could we… Maybe… I mean, could I tie you up sometime? Just the hands, if you’re ok with it… - his face was really flushed as he said it.

- No problem, my love - you agreed. - I trust you 100%, you know that. I’m glad you could trust me with your desires. Next time we do it, you can tie me up, ok?

Finn smiled, relieved. He feared being misunderstood, or taken as a creep. Little did he know, now you were dying to be tied up by him.

What does he use to tie you up?

Some fancy “tying bdsm kit” he made his assistant buy while he was out filming, so no one but you would ever know about this side of him without signing an NDA. It’s apparently made out of some special fabric-like material that doesn’t bruise your skin and is very comfortable. Being a celebrity, Finn’s not only afraid of accidentally hurting you, but also of people seeing any sort of scrape or bruise on your body when you go out in public. What if they think he’s violent with you? Well, he only is when you ask him to be.

How/where does he tie you up?

With his busy schedule, the first places you get to be tied up in are hotel rooms, as you guys would meet in between his shootings and band gigs. He ties your hands gently at first, but as you get comfortable, he begins tying your ankles too. Seeing you all tied up feels so private, so intimate… He loves it, and so do you.

Boris Pavlikovsky

How did he bring it up the first time?

Boris was always into “weird” stuff. He liked to drink while fucking you from behind, he’d ask you to spit on his body (just to see what it felt like) and stuff like that. When you two were getting it on and he found something that could be used to tie you up, you pretty much knew what he had in mind. He looked at you in an inquiring way, and all you had to do was nod and put out your wrists for him.

What does he use to tie you up?

He uses pretty much anything he can find at the moment. You’ve been tied up with dish cloths, robe belts, shoe laces and even a measuring tape. If it can be tied around your wrists and you don’t oppose to it, you’re getting tied up with it.

How/where does he tie you up?

Anywhere that tickles his fancy. He’d tie you up in the bedroom, in the kitchen, even in the shower. He keeps the knots simple, but firm. He only ties you hands, though: your legs need to be all spread out for him.

Mike Wheeler

How did he bring it up the first time?

He took you to the basement for the usual make out session - at least that was what it seemed. After some heated kisses, he held your face, making you look into his eyes.

- Do you trust me? - Mike said, gently caressing your cheek, his eyes always as dreamy as ever.

- Of course, angel - you responded, smiling.

- Tell me if you get uncomfortable at any moment, ok?

You simply looked at his hands doing the work. Ugh, he’s so hot.

What does he use to tie you up?

A belt. Specifically, he likes to take off the belt he’s using beforehand and tie you up with it. There’s something about undressing you, then undressing himself and tying you up with his own belt that gets him extra hard.

How/where does he tie you up?

He simply ties your wrists together. You don’t resist in the slightest, of course, completely taken by his dominant energy. He likes to have that kinkier type of sex in the basement, where you guys can make some more noise without getting caught/heard by anyone else in the house.

Miles Fairchild

How does he bring it up the first time?

Very early into the relationship, actually after your first kiss, Miles was already calling you “mine”. And being “his”, you knew what kind of stuff he liked: the freakiest possible. He started tying you up within your first month together, and as time went on, it got more and more sophisticated. You two have a safe word, so if you don’t like something, you can say the word and he’ll stop immediately to check on his precious doll.

What does he use to tie you up?

A rope. The same kind that could be used to tame the horses in the manor’s stable. He finds it animalistic and sexy, like you’re a wild creature he has to tame and take care of - that’s kind of how you feel, too.

How/where does he tie you up?

Miles had read an awful lot about shibari - he has literal books on the subject. Expect to be in his room, tied up in some crazy positions, with very elaborate knots concocted by him. There will be ropes all over your body - if not actual ropes, warm ropes of his cum.

- Slutty princess of mine, how would you like to be all tied up and hanging from the ceiling? - he asked, his eyes darker than ever. - You’d look so pretty like that, like my own little puppet sex doll…

Trevor Spengler

How did he bring it up the first time?

You two were making out, you know, as you usually do. Trev stopped kind of abruptly, and you could tell he had something else in his mind.

- Babe… - he started, his voice raspy with lust. - There’s… There’s something I’ve always wanted to try, I don’t know if you’d be into it, and it’s totally fine if you’re not, but I-

- Trevor - you interrupted, reassuring him with a gentle caress and a loving smile - It’s ok. What is it that you want to try?

- I, uh… Can I tie you up? You know, as like a sex thing?

- Sure - you chuckled. - I think I’m gonna like that too, love.

What does he use to tie you up?

A silky tie. He’s afraid anything rougher would irritate his princess’ delicate skin.

How/where does he tie you up?

Trevor is a sucker for car sex, and loves tying you up in the Ectomobile. He’d usually tie your hands up and ask you to suck his dick with your hands tied. You look so submissive doing that, it drives him crazy - specially when you grab his dick with your tied hands.

Ziggy Katz

How did he bring it up the first time?

He knew he’d feel embarrassed: that was a given. He had finally gotten a pretty girlfriend and didn’t want to scare her off, of course. After a lot of pining and reconsideration, he simply blurted it out while you two were making out on his bed after school.

- Would you let me, like, tie you up? I mean, it would be Tera hot to have you all tied up to the bed frame while we do it, you know?

- Sure - you laughed. - How do you wanna do it?

What does he use to tie you up?

Bedsheets. It had to be something that doesn’t look like it’s gonna be used for sex, ‘cause his lazy ass will totally forget to hide it afterwards, so if it’s just the bedsheets, his mom won’t be suspicious.

Where/how does he tie you up?

He makes sure you can’t “escape”, making firm knots and tying your hands above your head onto the bed frame. Ziggy secretly loves it when you struggle to free yourself and try to touch him, because then he gets to hold you in place and feels even more dominant.

[charlie-roe]

Konig Headcanons - SFW

To preface, I thoroughly, without a doubt, 1000% stand behind the fact that Konig is not a shy uwu boi. He’s got anxiety not a weak constitution. This is just generally about him as a person + a lil drabble about relationships but nothing explicit (I will post that later tehe).

Let’s talk about his anxiety. He has it, but he’s not a crybaby. He’s a grown man who kills people for a living. Do you really think if you hurt his feelings he’d steeple his index fingers together and his eyes would water? No, absolutely fuckin’ not. I think his anxiety has to do with being uncomfortable in situations that he’s not prepared for. If he’s thoroughly briefed on a mission, familiar with people or places, given detailed directions, etc he’s g2g. And I still think even if he’s uncomfortable he wouldn’t outright show it. But he is a fidgeter. He’d probably clench and unclench his fists, rub the hem of his shirt between his fingers, bounce his leg if he’s sitting, pull out his phone to “check the time” often, etc. Konig wouldn’t announce that he’s anxious.

His bio says that he has severe social anxiety and was bullied as a child but doesn’t give more details about his anxiety than that. I see a lot of headcanons saying that it’s because he was chubby, had a stutter, or a harelip but I don’t think that’s the cause. I think he grew up in a very remote area and didn’t have much contact with kids his age (only child vibes), so he didn’t develop social skills. Maybe homeschooled or something. So, I think kids bullied him for being a bit awkward at times, not understanding social cues or simply not talking because he just didn’t know what to say.

 Otherwise, I imagine him to be very confident, almost borderline cocky. With people he’s familiar with he can be funny, maybe even goofy and have a good time. Have you heard his voice lines in the game? He’s charismatic because he knows what he’s doing and he’s in his element. Some of his voice lines are even funny. His anxiety is nonexistent when he’s on missions because of this and why he has good comebacks. Especially if he snipes someone and he makes the comment “Heh, and they said I couldn’t be a sniper.” COCKY AF. I think it’s almost like once he’s locked in on a mission, he goes into a certain corner of his brain that is a lil bit bloodthirsty and violent and a bit psychotic. Killer autopilot mode. Because who dafuq just breaks someone’s back over their knees? An entire personality crafted just for war.

Why did he join the military? I think honestly because where he grew up didn’t have many career choices. I imagine he grew up in a little mountain town, so his choices were like a butcher shop, a grocery store, or the post office lmfao. He was good with guns since he hunted since he was a kid and figured that he could send money home to his family and experience the world with the military. Konig’s size and his constant fidgeting barred him from being a sniper. People could see his big ass from a mile away even in a ghillie suit, he just couldn’t blend in no matter how small he tried to scrunch himself together. He was disappointed at first, but I think he came to love being on the front lines and is how the mask came into play. I will explain.

His bio states that there’s a rumor that he wears the hood because underneath is scary. This suggests he’s been mutilated by war, but I think it really is just a rumor. It’s simply a scare tactic and partially for privacy reasons. Imagine being the enemy holed up in a room, the door blasts open and Konig’s inhumanly tall ass steps through the doorway wearing an executioner’s hood and all you can see is the whites of his eyes. It would be terrifying, and it catches the enemy off guard. They’ve heard stories about him, and the legend isn’t a myth. Konig is a known figure throughout the PMC & bad guys world. So, he doesn’t want anyone on the other side to remember his face and see him in public. However, I don’t believe Konig wears his hood all the time. As soon as he’s on that helo headed out, he rips that mask off so he can breathe properly.

So, what’s under the mask? Again, I think the rumors about him being a wreck under the mask are just a part of his lore. I think Konig is either dirty blonde or has auburn hair. I really can’t decide. It’s kept at a shorter length that curls at the ends. His eyes are a like a steely, grey-blue color. His jawline is defined, more in a square shape. Slight cleft chin. His bottom lip is fuller than his top lip. Konig’s nose is slightly crooked from being broken a few times, but the bridge is defined but I think he has a cute lil button-y, retrousse nose. High cheekbones. Thick eyebrows that are sharp in shape. His teeth aren’t 100% perfect, some crowding issues on the bottom. Definitely has had some teeth knocked out so some are fake. He has a light stubble, has the ability to grow a beard but doesn’t because it gets caught in his hood. He does have scars both mild and severe scattered about his face. He’s obviously very muscular, but I do think he has a smidge of fat on his abs because he needs constant food for his body type. Definitely a 12/10 stars pretty man…or he’s very average. There is allegedly a glitch in game where his face is revealed, and he’s not ugly but not hot either.

Let’s address the elephant in the room…his height. I know it’s widely believed or accepted that he is 6’10”. And while I would love to believe that I don’t think it’s true. He is canonically very tall; but I think around 6’6” or 6’7” max and 6’4” being the minimum. Maybe the 6’10” is just another rumor spread to keep up with his imposing legend.

If it’s true that Konig is indeed a colonel, then it would take around 17 years for him to achieve this rank in the German military (I couldn’t find anything specific about Austrian military, plus at this point there’s no clear answer to whether he’s Austrian or German) then canonically he must be at the very least 34 which I agree with, maybe even a few years older. He’s a whole, grown ass adult man not a 20-something year old. I feel like he’s a summer baby.

I honestly have no clue as to what his legal name is. I would like for it to be something sexy like Felix, Leon, Elias, Klaus, or Milo. But I have a feeling it’s something very basic and very Germanic like Karl or Albert. Or even worse something ugly like Wolfgang but I won’t even entertain that idea. I think the name Konig just comes from his cockiness. He’s the king on the battlefield because he excels at what he does. He took down an entire terrorist cell by himself. I’ve seen some people say that maybe it’s his last name or maybe even his first name, but I don’t think that’s right either.

It takes him some time to warm up to people, so he can come off as shy at first or maybe even rude/harsh. But really, he’s just observing to see how he can act around them. If they seem like they wouldn’t appreciate a dirty joke, he won’t say anything inappropriate. He bases his personality on the energy they project. They like to goof off? He can be a dumbass around them. They’re kind and polite? Konig will give it right back. Are they harsh and blunt? He’s got that personality under his belt too. Not to say he doesn’t have his own “real” personality, but I think this is one of his ways to get around his social anxiety.

He won’t shy away from going out with his friends or teammates. In fact, I think he’s funnier when he’s drunk, but he’s still reserved and doesn’t get blackout drunk. He definitely wouldn’t dance or sing, but he gets very chatty and loves to joke but only with the people he knows. He’ll play pool with the guys. He probably wouldn’t chat up strangers at the bar on his own or do something to draw attention to himself. But if someone comes up to him, he’s not going to clam up. Probably just come off as awkward and not have much to say because he ain’t know them like that.

I think he’s popular with the ladies for sure. Like girls definitely notice him and crush on him. I definitely don’t think he’s a 34+ year old virgin or only has a few bodies under his belt. But Konig also isn’t a man whore (but I do love the idea of it). He’s sitting at a 10-15 body count. Not too little, not a whole lot. I don’t think he’s interested in barrack bunnies, but he also would be lying if he said he’s never slept with a fellow soldier that he got close to. But I don’t think he’s the type for a relationship due to his job. He’s always going out on missions in other countries for weeks at a time. When he comes back, he’s exhausted and doesn’t have the energy to put into a relationship so he feels like it’s not fair to have a significant other. Unfortunately, he gives me situationship vibes, but he doesn’t mean for it to happen and in fact doesn’t really care for casual flings, but they just happen. Just keeps seeing the same girl for a few months at a time but then cuts ties when things get a bit too serious. Konig wouldn’t mind having a partner, but he wants to wait until he’s retired so he’s able to actually put effort into the relationship.

Warning: In my world I depict Konig as straight, so the following is based on that belief. I think Konig has a thing for women with long blonde hair, but otherwise doesn’t care too much about height, body shape, weight or race as long as he thinks they’re pretty. His ideal girl would be calm, kind, polite but can dish & take jokes and able to let loose once in a while. I don’t think he’d go for obnoxious, loud or high maintenance ladies. Doesn’t mind someone with a bit of fire to them. He wants a woman, not a silly lil baby lolita egirl teeny bopper (sorry to those who love this idea) so I don’t think he’d go for women under 25ish. He likes them more mature with ambition and a steady head. He doesn’t mind spoiling them every so often, but also thinks women shouldn’t use him for his money either. He doesn’t feel emasculated when his girl pays for dinner. He thinks that a relationship should be equal and fair on both sides. Definite plus if she’s a great cook because this man loves to eat.

For hobbies I think Konig enjoys hunting, he makes his own beer when he’s on leave, hiking, he’s a good cook (at least when it comes to Austrian/German/whatever Activision decides his nationality is today) and has project cars. Let’s break it down.

He grew up in the mountains, so there’s prey animals in abundance and I like to think he did it as a kid with his father or another father figure. He does feel bad for the animals he hunts, but he makes sure to use up every part so nothing goes to waste. Obviously, he uses the meat, he uses the pelts for crafting, he does have a bone collection going and if he took an especially magnificent specimen, he will have it mounted on his cabin wall because he dabbles a little bit in taxidermy but isn’t a trophy hunter.

He’s Austrian/German so beer is in his DNA. He likes to experiment and see what flavors he can create when he makes his beer. If Konig brews a batch that is really good, he will share with family & friends but usually it’s just for his personal consumption. He doesn’t just make beer though; in the summer he’ll make his own wine from berries because his mom/grandma loves it. Lowkey a mama’s boy.

I’d also like to think that he learned cooking with his mom or grandma when he was little. They’d have him help with the small stuff and would hang out with them in the kitchen and observe. As he got older, he would take more part of the cooking to the point where he’d offer to make dinner so his mom/granny whoever can relax. Plus, as I said this man loves to eat and when he’s at his own place off duty he craves hearty meals and mama ain’t there to cook.

I honestly have no source or idea why he likes project cars. I think it mostly has to do with keeping him busy and focused on something. I don’t think Konig tunes them as performance cars, so I don’t think he races them or does anything crazy with them. He does, however, like to drive around for fun, especially on long, windy mountain roads.

Konig loves music and listens to a wide range of it, but I think he’d especially be into German metal (think Rammstein- very stereotypical, I know), but likes Type-O Negative, etc. Anything hard rock. For some reason he likes Sublime even though it’s widely different to what he usually listens to. He hates country music.

If I have any more that I think of I will add. I hope that the big hype surrounding Konig will make Activision bring him more into the game. Maybe not the sole focus of the game, but a campaign mission here or there or he makes an appearance in the very least. I’m just not sure how it would work out because per canon SpecGru and KorTac are rivals. Whether this means they’re actually enemies or just competition in campaign mode or rivals for multiplayer to simplify things I’m still debating about.

Anyhoo, any thoughts or comments are appreciated! I just really wanted to take this from a logical standpoint from what we know and what can be speculated based on the little information we’ve been given about him. I don’t think anyone understands how bad I need him to be real.

[shankschewtoy]

Hey slayer. I've been violently ill lately and thought it be best to turn my misery into your profit, so here's a request for you. May I request the asl trio with an s/o that one night got really really sick?? Like I'm talking throwing up in the toilet, body shaking, feeling like you're going yo die type of thing. Thanks, have a great day and I hope you drink water 👋

a/n - nooo! I’m sorry about that anon :( I hope you feel better soon :) sorry in advance but I somehow make things cracky when they’re supposed to be serious 💀

warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, vomit, comfort

- this guy hasn’t gotten sick once in his entire life, so he doesn’t know what the fuck to do when someone gets sick- (have you seen the way he tried to handle when nami got sick 😭)

- today, you already felt nauseous, sick to your stomach. The thought of eating made you want to throw yourself overboard-

- the rocking waves that shook the boat back and forth only contributed more- you weren’t even sure if this was your sickness, or sea sickness at this point

- maybe both?

- the toilet was your new bestie, the amount of times you threw up in there were countless

- chopper did his best with what meds he had- but nothing really eased the sickness. Your head just kept banging, dizzy from how many times you’ve thrown up

- your captain wasn’t sure what to do- he just kept frantically calling chopper over to see if you were ok.. He knew that maybe his funny antics weren’t going to help you right now

- “Sorry y/n… But I think this is just going to pass tomorrow, hang in there.” -chopper

- You were glad it wasn’t anything serious, but this was horrible

- Don’t you worry, Luffy stayed with you the entire night. He stole a bucket from Sanji for you to throw up in, and tried to tell you funny stories to lighten up your mood

- “Okok- ummmmm. Ok so there was this one time where grandpa kicked me down into a hole at night and-“ (Luffy was abused /with love)

- whenever you tried to sleep, he’d pat your head softly to lull you to sleep, and he tried his VERY hardest not to make any noise

- he ends up making noise but- it’s alright, you still love him (I hope)

- “Y/n! Don’t think about green! Like- don’t think about bushes and stuff! Think about uh… Meat! Wait- no. Uhm….“

- You were getting even more sick at the mention of the color green.. And meat? Luffy no.

- “NO I’M SORRY! DON’T THINK ABOUT MEAT! THINK ABOUT UH- THE SKY? THE GOING MERRY! SUNNY?”

- with him naming random stuff extremely loudly, it was able to distract you from all those gross thoughts, good save Luffy

- you made it through the night (traumatized) but alive. You were glad Luffy was there to stay with you, even though he’s not the best doctor in town lmao

- he loves you, and he’d do anything to make you feel alright :)

- he’s very experienced with almost every sickness, and he’s read about almost every kind of medical book he has in his library

- but nothing prepared him for taking care of the person he loved, because books don’t cover that :)

- you already asked Dragon if you could rest for today, and that alone made sabo so worried. You never had to miss a mission.. This must’ve been really bad

- as soon as the ship docked, sabo sprinted, and I mean SPED towards the headquarters

- my man literally knocked poor koala over on the way 😭

- when he burst through the door like a mad man, he grimaced when he saw how bad you looked

- you were still sitting by the toilet, your face turning green in close intervals

- “Oh hey sabo- how was the m-“ *throws up*

- “Y/N?! ARE YOU OK?!”

- He’s about to faint, but he managed to drag the doctor out from his office, and haul ass back to you for him to check you out

- sabo never knew he could be so tense and anxious, he found out today that he suffered from major anxiety whenever something bad happened to you 😭

- The doctor explained that it was simply a really bad stomach flu, and it would go away by either tomorrow or the next few days

- sabo was glad it wasn’t anything serious! But still, he was worried about you, I mean… You weren’t looking great-

- He tried his best, but whenever you threw up, he felt sick as well- so he comforted you while closing his eyes and covering his ears (he’s trying)

- at one point he had to run off because he threw up too 💀 probably from both feeling horrible because you were going through this. And also, he’s scared of vomit unfortunately

- just because he’s scared doesn’t mean he’s not going to stay with you 24/7! He’s sitting with you, giving you whatever you ask and need

- he tries to talk about anything except vomit and the color green lmao- but he somehow finds a way to get back to it??

- “Yeah on the mission today- we were freeing some of our comrades and one of them- his name’s Steve. He was wearing this AWFUL green shirt and I swear-!” *throws up*

- “I’M SORRY- FORGET EVERYTHING I JUST SAID PLEASE.”

- this poor man is dying, but trying 👍

- like Luffy, this guy has never been sick. EVER

- but he’s an expert at sensing whether or not you’re feeling ok- it’s kinda creepy

- it’s like he knows if a sneeze is coming, and he says bless you early 0-0

- this time, he didn’t catch it since he was off the ship, kicking marine ass on an island

- when he got back, you were- let’s just say.. You’ve been better.

- Whitebeard was worried, and Marco took a look at you right away. No one was as worried as Ace though, this poor guy was on fire, quite literally

- he kept accidentally setting things on fire around him from how worried he was!

- “Ace, don’t panic. Stay calm.” -Whitebeard

- “I AM CALM.”

- no he is not calm at all

- Marco told you that this would just have to pass normally, and he could only give you some anti-nausea meds

- when ace could finally go into your room, he was asking every single question known to man

- “Baby are you ok? You need water? Hugs? Food? A bucket? Meds? Blanket? Marco to turn into a fluffy bird and for you to hold him in your hand?”

- “…what?”

- let’s just say if you need something, he’s on it

- whenever you throw up, he’s like- cheering you on?

- “Great job! Get all that nasty stuff out! You got this!”

- I mean. It helped I guess 💀

- he’ll give you cuddles, hugs, anything to help you fall asleep and get through the night

- you finally fell asleep on him after a couple hours

- but this poor dude needed to pee so bad at around 3am. But the thought of waking you up, only for you to start throwing up again made him so sad..

- he didn’t want you to have to go through it again if you didn’t have to!

- so he sucked it up, and held it until you woke up at 7

- “Oh hey ace.. I feel a lot better now, thanks for staying.”

- “Oh my gosh that’s great! But give me like- 10 seconds I have to pee so fucking bad-!”

- my man SPED to the bathroom, leaving a literal trail of fire 💀💀💀

- he was in there for a while 😭

a/n - ace is so sweet 🥹

[archivalofsins]

hey, do you remember if mikoto/john ever made any comment about the viewer's opinions? fuuta outright tells the voices to shut up, amane acknowledges them when fuuta asks her about it, and mahiru mostly just feels like her thoughts and love are being rejected. i dont think mikoto/john ever even acknowledge the viewers thoughts about their situation outside the double mv and vd, and even then that could be about what es thinks about them and not the omniscient viewers.

They do!

It's one of the things specifically highlighted by Milgram and Yamanaka within his tweet about Mikoto's voice drama. Through the fact that they recognize and view what Es has deduced through Milgram as valid.

To keep it short. Mikoto references the audience opinions in these instances.

This has been editted to get rid of spellings errors and add more context. Editted on 02/28/24. (There were so many spelling errors to correct don't know if I got them all. I added so much more quotes from the timeline and interrogations and tried to adjust for tone.)

"Eheheh... But...it's not coming to an end. All of this. With things I've never even heard before, the whole ti- The whole time... Haah... I have to see through all of these irritating experiences...!" (Doesn't directly reference Es just that things now feel like they never end. Along with things he's never even heard before.)

"As for alters... Why do you think they're born?" (Specifically asking Es how they think this works instead of divulging any information he's heard from the audience that would in fact be beneficial to Es who after being asked immediately shows they don't know a damn thing about it. Staying consistent with what happened in Amane's voice drama prior.)

"Right. You're decision to not forgive me is especially stress inducing." (Recognition of the punishment attached to the guilty verdict working properly for Mikoto and that's adding to his stress. So, yeah he's hearing the voices.)

"You know that because of Milgram! I don't care about the law, I want to know what you think!"

His birthday interaction from last year. (Him asking if there's really another him implies, he has heard the audience bring it up.)

His birthday interaction with Futa after his verdict.

21/10/06 (Mikoto’s Birthday) Mikoto: ……ah, Futa? What’s up? Did you come to celebrate my birthday? Futa: Hah!? Like I care about your birthday. ……what’s up with you, though, you’re usually a lot more excited. I thought you were the sort of idiot who’d make a big deal over your birthday. Mikoto: Yeah, usually that’d be the case. ……I think I must be getting tired. It’s like I’m anxious over something but I can’t really explain what it is…… Like, the feeling that I’ve been totally wrong about something. Haha, but it’s not like talking to you about it is gonna do anything. Futa: Yeah, yeah, just like you say. Talking to me about it isn’t gonna help. ……but, it’s not like I don’t get what you’re saying. Or rather, I understand exactly what you mean. And if it’s the same thing as I’ve been feeling, then it will just get stronger as time goes on…… probably. But anyway, rather than talking to someone like me you should go and bother the others. Go and get showered with their stupid birthday wishes.

Also, the fact that Mikoto's entire defense for his actions pivoted from I don't remember, and Milgram probably got the wrong guy by mistake to the other one did it. Which not much different from the excuse he gave before but was an excuse widely jumped on and presented by the audience after he was called out for faking for a good period of time and being bad rep. Well, to say the least- It puts a different meaning behind this line,

"“He’s a liar”, you said, and made me out to be a scoundrel, why?"

Since it encapsulates what his first trial was like in a nutshell. Where people either called him out for faking/lying or blamed the alter for all the violent acts making him out to be the scoundrel. People even posited that what we see in MeMe is fake because it's far more graphic than the others and cuts and that this could be due to him having DID and lookie here.

In fact Mikoto's mental footage was so violent... "It's unforgivable." That was my judgment. "That too could be just a fake or attributed to multiple personalities, right?!"

Overall Mikoto, like many of the prisoners, does not state what the audience has told him. However, he heavily implies through his actions he's been told something. What that something is we don't know and given his first verdict percentage he would not be as inclined to tell us as the others would. Hell, even then a lot of others don't tell is. We were never shown what innocent does to a person outside of this from Mu.

21/07/05 (Mu’s Birthday) Mu: Yuno. Don’t you have something to say to me? Yuno: Huh? To you? Me? ……ahh, uh? Your birthday, right? Happy birthday~ Mu: How mean…Since it’s my birthday, I really wish you’d said something before I had to come and tell you myself. Yuno: Right, right, I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful in future~ Later! Haha… things have become even more of a bother… ……so was that Mu-chan’s real personality, then? It’s probably because the guard did something, right?

But yeah, since you were just asking if he referenced the audience outside of his voice drama and music video there's no need to read the rest here. What comes after this basically goes over how I tend to tell when the prisoners are subtly referring to the audience and other things but it's very long.

Now onto the interesting stuff. Because I wrote this before rereading the question and seeing you were asking about things outside of the voice drama and song. So, I'm leaving it.

Mikoto discusses the audience in the way similar to how Mahiru does. Never referring to the audience or the voices as an individual entity or directly instead either referring to that as Milgram collectively or referring to it as an extension of Es' actions and decisions.

Even in Double and I Love You neither of them refer to a big group of people but go "You".

"What you trampled is my, “This is how to be in love with you”."/ "“He’s a liar”, you said, and made me out to be a scoundrel, why?"

Unlike the rest of the prisoners who refer to multiple parties, Mikoto and Mahiru couldn't give a damn less about who is causing them problems and considers the audience, Es, and Milgram all the same entity. Never really separating the three. Because they don't care to.

Other prisoners that do this are Haruka, Shidou, and Kotoko if I'm remembering correctly.

"I will definitely make you love me again."-"Hug me again as you once did."

"You don’t even know yet, and yet."- "What do you mean INNOCENT, if this is my punishment... Now I see, this world is cruel and merciless. The vote that negates the option of death, the love that won’t perish."- "No thank you, it’s none of your concern."- "Shall I fulfill your request and elect to live."

"That's why I became your fangs."- "Tell me why you tell me, “Stop'. Don’t you dare stop now."

Kotoko and Shidou do something interesting in their second trial songs having parts where they both directly refer to Es and the audience separately within their songs. Referring to Es at the beginning and then the audience in the second half.

"I want to be INNOCENT, I want to live. So this is unpleasant, hurling slurs of “hostage game”, you do know that it’s up to me? That’s right, there are lives that need safeguarding. So hey, prolong my life, I’m indispensable. The correct answer, I don’t yet know, but there are lives that need safeguarding. So hey, prolong my life, I’m indispensable."

Shidou Trial 2 Voice Drama

"But... as long as Milgram continues in this direction. We won't be able to save those who get injured if I'm not forgiven." ...! "Even now, Shiina-kun is in a condition where any digression could be fatal. She can't live without my treatment. If I'm not forgiven she will end up dying."

Just want to highlight how Shidou uses the same tactic as Mu but somehow what he does ends up succeeding and what she did doesn't. A lot of people may think that's because none of them asked to be put in that situation and Kotoko was the one who attacked. Yet, my honest response to that would be what the fuck is actually stopping Shidou from helping if he was guilty?

Like prisoners who were Guilty once can still move around and interact with others and the things around them. Unless one is assuming that the punishment for being guilty trial two is worse than one. Something I don't believe would make sense and would not be fair considering this would just simply for many of the prisoners be their first time being guilty. Although, this is Milgram so maybe who knows.

Even in a situation where the trial two punishment for being guilty is harsher than trial ones; what the fuck is stopping him from teaching or instructing someone else within the prison on how to help if he were restrained? He even said Amane could be assisting him and Yuno has been. He's very replaceable, actually. So, it's wild this worked.

As we will get into it is wild any of them are getting away with what they are.

He also doesn't say this as if it will change later. Instead he literally states that Mahiru now just can't live without his help which given injuries should not be true. Yet considering that she hasn't been getting better over the course of trial two honestly yeah, I guess he's right.

That's... true I suppose. "From now on conflict between the prisoners will probably become more frequent."

Dude why the fuck does he say this??? Like no I'm being serious why does he fucking say this? Especially considering last we heard from Haruka in his second trial voice drama Shidou and Kazui were meant to have been negotiating a ceasefire? This sounds like something an individual about to start a conflict would say. A person about to throw down if you will.

Like what the fuck does he know in regards to this? The most good faith interpretation is the ceasefire negotiations have failed. Yet, it's still a weird thing to just add. Especially since he says conflicts between the prisoners. Implying that people other than Kotoko may end up instigating fights.

Even though most of the other prisoners are simply attempting to mind their business and he's the only one who directly states hostility towards Kotoko in various ways.

Others that state having animosity towards someone are

Yuno,

Q.11 Which of the other prisoners do you get along with least? Yuno: I wonder. The ones that are painful just to watch are Haruka and Mu-chan.

Futa,

Q.12 Are there any prisoners you don’t get on with? Futa: Can you not tell by looking at my face? Obviously Kotoko.

Mu,

Q.12 Are there any prisoners you don’t get on with? Mu: Yuno has been really cold lately so maybe her a bit.

Shidou,

Q.06 Do you forgive Kotoko? Shidou: No. I can’t forgive someone for trying to achieve thing with violence.

"To extract that fang, now."/“That’s why I became your fangs.”

Oh, and he has some feelings on Mikoto as well.

Q.07 Are there any prisoners you get along with? Shidou: Kayano-kun has become like that, and I can’t spend my time smoking at the moment, so the smoking trio has disbanded, which is a bit lonely.

What those feelings are beyond me. However, he speaks of his current disposition as though it's a problem. So, I'm putting it.

Kazui,

Q.06 Are there any prisoners you don’t get along with? Kazui: To be honest, probably also Kashiki-chan. It feels like she sees through all the things I don’t want anyone to notice.

Amane,

Q.06 Are there any prisoners you don’t get along with? Amane: Kirisaki Shidou.

and Mikoto,

Q.12 What do you think about Kotoko? Mikoto: I don't like her.

It makes sense that we the audience would know whom everyone is hostile towards. Especially since we just blatantly asked in some written interrogations. However, it's not as though many of them have been presenting their hostility towards each other openly.

Outside of Amane and Kotoko everyone else attempts to be cordial with each other or just outright avoid people they dislike. So, it's still weird he would know this unless he's really good at reading the mood and paying attention to others.

Something he has not shown himself to be. Though, maybe he really is. Still considering he has two individuals he'd could possibly have an issues with this really sounds like some shit somebody who wants start trouble says.

"If I'm not there... They will be in even more danger!"

Bitch you will be there- Guilty or not. You're not getting out of this panopticon any earlier unless you see yourself out buddy. Where do you think you go if you're guilty? The sunken place? You gonna mentally tap out because of the guilt and constant bombardment of being told you're wrong by the audience?

Other people who have been Guilty before you with no warning of what that mental or evironmentally entailed were still able to help and speak to others while suffering under the affects of said verdict. The child did it grow a backbone man! You're an adult and apparently you hold a lot of stake in the fact that you are... So, at least make it make sense why you do with your actions.

In case Shidou has forgotten we have a third trial. So, he's just being a fucking manchild here. Does he think we're gonna kill him immediately after he's voted guilty in this second trial out of three? Does he think as soon as the guilty verdict hits Kotoko is going to attack him? That's the most reasonable and good faith interpretation of this statement.

Like she did attack guilty people that's a fair concern to have. Yet, he's currenty being guarded. Because now that an attack has happened once the others are more on guard.

As Yuno implied would be the case,

Q.09 What do you think about Kotoko’s attacks? Yuno: Is she an idiot? Nothing’s going to change in the world if you just act out violently where everyone can see.

If a person just acts out violently where everyone can see most people will reasonnable recognize that person is apart of the problem too. They won't usually assume they're the solution to anything. Plus again the fact that other people were guilty before him and he knows what that could reasonably entail he should be preparing for that possibility. It's clear that he wants to avoid it by any means and is doing his best to do that.

Which I can't fault the man for that's only natural. But-The fuck is Shidou's second voice drama fearmongering 101?! Why the fuck is he acting like this towards the end?

I bet you're thinking Gunsli is this your first time listening to Shidou's voice drama and honestly yeah it is.

This man is in here like what will they do without me. Despite the fact that a majority of viewers have pretty much agreed the child can take him out/is a serious threat to his safety. At the point the previous statement is widely considered a genuine concern true if anyone wants him dead outside of himself in this facility he is going to die. Because we know that from the beginning Shidou has wanted this all to end and to get the death penalty.

That he's been smoking to be unhealthy,

20/08/04 Mikoto: By the way, why did you two start smoking? For me it was just a means for communication with people at work. Kazui: Hm? I don’t really remember……It’s maybe changed nowadays, but in the past it was just natural for everyone to smoke. What about you, Shidou-kun? Do you remember? Shidou: ……I wonder. I suppose…… I just wanted to do something that was bad for me. Mikoto: Ahh, I kinda get that. It’s like eating instant ramen in the middle of the night.

So, he came into Milgram already trying to get out of life in general. So, he can't threaten himself like Haruka can. He's still gunning for that death sentence even now.

"The scale tilts to and fro, I yearn to be found “GUILTY”."

The only thing he can do is what he's always done used the lives of those around him to excuse his actions and validate his own existence.

"But it tilts towards, find me “INNOCENT”. If the voices crying out in pain, can be saved by me- Allow it to be my charge and mission."

Like I don't know why he came in here acting like this verdict gonna make him someone he ain't and never was. Like man you couldn't even take care of your own- You want us to leave you in charge and responsible of even more people. People who have no reason to have to listen to or take him seriously. People who don't even like him.

Meanwhile Shidou's kids in Triage out here looking like they need Yusuke Urameshi not Shidou Kirisaki. What will they do without me? Man I don't know probably have a better grasp of road safety. You know just spitballing some guesses here.

He came in here really pretending to be the guy and for who? Himself because he's fucking weak and emotinally immature. He can't handle the mental stress of a guilty verdict, he couldn't even handle his own social relationships when his wife was alive,

Q.19 What was your partner like? Shidou: A strong person. I tend to be a bit careless in my personal life, so I was always relying on her.

or taking care their kids after she either died or got ill.

Like listening to the end of his second trial interrogation is legit hearing him hype up his own importance. As though he's going to be a meidcal doctor on the frontlines of a war and voting him guilty is equivalent to immediately killing him in front of a bunch of injured civilians. Halting people from getting aid. When that's not what's occuring here at all!

He's still going to be in Milgram and he will still have another trial. Like maybe he thinks that's what's occuring because of Kotoko but that's even weirder. Because there are more people against Kotoko's actions in the prison than for them.

One of which is fucking Kazui who is already guarding him.

Shidou... "I need to be punished... But I also need to stay alive or young lives will be lost."

Oh, Shidou you're such a martyr.... Pushing to the side your selfish desire to die because you're sick of living with yourself, your own failures, and the fact that the things you worked towards weren't the benefit you thought they would be and instead a massive failure-

Q.15 Do you think you’ve made a contribution to society? Shidou: I used to think my work was a contribution to society.

All because you've found something that validates your existence again. Something that,

"Tells me, the reason it’s ok to be here."

Again I need to highlight we're not fucking killing him with this verdict. Telling someone what they did was wrong is nowhere close to comparable to murder. Also, Kotoko can attack prisoners whether they're innocent or not. Jackalope's brought up that the prisoners are allowed to attack each other during the intermission all of them regardless of verdict.

Unless they're physically restrained and thuse made unable to they can still do it. Plus some of them are shown in full restraints within Undercover still ready to attack somebody if needed. It's not like she is completely bound to acting in accordance with Milgram's rules as has been highlighted before.

22/08/05 (Kazui’s Birthday) Kotoko: ……Mukuhara Kazui. Thanks to you, I wasn’t able to properly serve justice to those who did something unforgivable. I’m currently acting as an agent for our prison guard Es. Don’t get in my way next time. Kazui: Oi oi, don’t be silly, Yuzuriha-chan. There’s no way I could just look away from your outrageous display of violence. Anyway, even disregarding the fact violence against those voted guilty isn’t a part of Milgram’s system, what you’re doing is just acting recklessly based on a broad interpretation. As long as I’m free myself, I’ll stop you. Kotoko: ……what a pointless argument. Hmph. Since Es forgives you, I have no choice but to forgive you myself too. If you to keep to your words, then you’d best do what you can to keep being forgiven. If you’re not, then next time you’ll be one of my targets. Kazui: Oh, how scary. That girl truly is frightening. ……well then, I wonder what the guard will decide to do with me. That’s the one thing I really can’t make out. Honestly……

Yet, throughout his second trial voice drama he keeps subtly pushing this idea that not only will Mahiru die if we vote him guilty but he will too. That not even really touching on the fact the one to bring up a death sentence or execution as a result of the trials to begin with was Shidou.

He brought it to this point and is now lamenting about it being there like oh what should I do.

"I... I don't know what to wish for anymore. I'm starting to think that I want to live. That I want to be forgiven... Despite being so riddled with sins...! ..." Shidou... Do you remember what i told you? "..." Back when you were still fine with dying at any moment, I told you to deperately want to live. "Punishments for sins exist in the first place because we have an attachment to life. your existence in itself is a sacriliege to Milgram and myself", I said. "Yes... I remember." And now, finally, you've gotten attached to life and finally become a real prisoners of Milgram. That's what I believe. You wanting to be forgiven and your wish... Those are the steps that now represent you. "...That won't do... I musn't be forgiven. Otherwise... the countless lives I've taken will never be paid back." Heh. If you're really trying to give up your life as compensation for the people you've killed, then there's no reason to stay alive that will hold up anyway. "..." Don't face them with a life that you're so willing to throw away.

Es greatly sums up the main issue with Shidou's logic.

He is ready and willing to die.

Yet, all the people he killed weren't. Usually people seek medical attention for help, because they want to live. Because they're in pain and they don't want it to get worse. Thesse are people who are trying to survive and seeking out what they believe is the most appropriate help for either themselves, a family member, hell even a stranger on the street if someone calls an ambulance.

It's incredibly tragic when help doesn't get there soon enough but it's down right dispicable when the help is there and decides no you'll die today because I feel like it. You understand what it's like to have to take in order to give and I need to take from you to give something to myself. We're all suffering and you know some people like myself deserve to suffer less than others so this is just how it has to be.

Since that's the case-

"You're in my way...hurry up and die."

I see no difference between this and this.

"Please, go ahead and die already."

Excpet one of the people making this sort of statement puts a lot of stock in being a mature adult and never acting childishly. While the other is at least emotionally honest about their mistakes.

Why did I bring all of this up? To highlight a key difference between Shidou's voice drama and his song. Es never rebuts Shidou for saying he's the only one that can help or calls what he's doing a hostage game.

Making it more than likely Shidou is referring to the audience and the voices he heard discussing his case or something from his real life given the quotes around the phrase. This is more than likely something Shidou has said in reality or had said to him. I lean more towards the first interpretation when it comes to viewing these put in quotations lyrics as direct snippets of quotes from statements the prisoners have said but I'm not that committed either way.

The point is it highlights that he's not just referring to Es here,

"I want to be INNOCENT, I want to live. So this is unpleasant, hurling slurs of “hostage game”, you do know that it’s up to me? That’s right, there are lives that need safeguarding. So hey, prolong my life, I’m indispensable. The correct answer, I don’t yet know, but there are lives that need safeguarding. So hey, prolong my life, I’m indispensable."

He's instead speaking past Es and directly pleading to the audience or voters.

Which is the same thing Kotoko does here-

"So, make yourselves my reason. Just choose the only choice, GUILTY. Say that sympathy is useless. Hate evil as the evil that it is. Don’t you dare stop now. I want a reason for judgment execution, I want it. Give me the next target “UNDER”."

Notably not stating that she became our fang before that but leading into that again. These lyrics (along with the prisoner 011 line in Kotoko's case) recontextualizes the entire song as a direct plea to the audience with allusions of concern towards Es. Mostly merging the two and going if you're on good terms with me I'll be on good terms with all you and your proxy if not things could get messy.

This showcases that they all see no difference between the audience, Es, and Milgram like stated before.

The ones who are more direct while referring to the audience are Yuno, Futa, Mu, Kazui, and Amane. Instead referring to multiple parties through their songs or one.

"I’m the one who chose, let you and you and you all in."

Yuno mentions two others before stating she let "you all" referring to the audience in.

"Don’t get cocky, you in that cypher."- "Tolerate, impress those spectators."- "This prison hosts ears and lethal eyes, I’m sick of it. You and you, throwing around rules for fun, hoisting up morality and feeling good. Should I succumb, make your wish come true? Full of yourselves, are you?"

Futa seperates the prison host from the audience the spectators. In a way showing off that he views Es as an entity hosting an event and the ones spectating as the actual entity he needs to impress or sway to his side. He's basically going if the audience likes me I'll be fine.

"So, it’s wrong? Oh shove that! INNOCENT, isn’t that right?"

It's a personal dislike of mine. People who act based on their sexual urges like that, that is. "It's personal?" Yeah. That's right. "That's strange. I did think that, despite being neutral as a warden you did have some things you dislike, but..." ... "Isn't it unusual to openly reavel a personal dislike as a personal dislike?" You're splitting hairs. "Seems like you really disliked my crime... I get it! Maybe it's because you're so young... Which is to say... ..." Hah? Stop staring at me so openly. It's disgusting. "..." ... [Es punches him]

Honestly warranted he is making fun of Es for the same reasons Jackalope did in Es' voice drama. Being a bit green behind the ears. Which is never fun. So, of course after that the first thing Es does is do the same thing to Amane in her interrogation after this.

... Now I feel better. "-Ow! What are you doing all of a sudden..?!" It was an instinctive reaction. Don't take it personally. "Would you stop just punching me in the face without any hesitation? ...huh Anyways... That's how it is, huh? That's how it is...?"

Kazui stating "That's how it is..." highlights that he does take note of Es' personal feelings. He not only does that but seems to take a moment to mentally compare them to what he's been hearing from the voices over the course trial one. Really honing in on the fact that Es says them disliking Kazui's crime is a personal thing.

Meaning that Kazui knows full and well that Es' personal opinion does not matter when it comes to the verdict and may have concluded as such. Something made even more clear by his second trial song opening with him telling Es to just go shove it. Fuck off get that nonsense out of here.

Kazui literally forgoes Es' statements on his actions from his second voice drama at the jump of cat like oh well the guard said it was wrong but fuck that- Innocent is the right answer. It's the conclusion you all came to the first time so.

Double down. Hence the-

"Lie, until it gets better, follow the king of the masquerade. Lick that sin and oppose punishment, until you can meet the king of the masquerade."

The only allusion to Es in Cat is,

"So it’s wrong? Oh shove that!"

This is because Es has already said they personally dislike Kazui's crime or people who act based on their sexual desires. Meaning if Kazui's crime is that of a sexual nature trying to sway Es on seeing it any other way is pointless. So, he no longer has an interest in convincing Es his behavior was okay. Plus he's not even really concerned by what the audience themselves have assumed or figured out. Something alluded to through how comfortable he in while singing Cat in comparison to Half.

Amane's is rather straight forward as well. Considering her song starts with direct recognition of the audience/spectators going-

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen! It’s the beginning of a most wonderful day! However, there are blasphemers and silent by-standers, who would have it otherwise. We must not give into them, they are the ones that should be judged." - "I disavow you, eyes corrupted must be crushed."

These are the only references Amane makes to the audience and Milgram. Literally going those who agree with me you know what to do. Those who don't well we can't give into those people now can we!

Then there's Mu,

"I am innocent as everybody desires."- "We are just the same. Don’t you think it’s wonderful to control them with my gentle sting?"

Mu compares how what the audience is doing is no different from what she has done. So of course it only makes sense she'd be Innocent. Then specifically speaks of Es after. The one who is also controlling people with their gentle sting. (This statment does apply to the audience as well. Since we're impacting the prisoners through the press of a button a gentle sting/poke. )

The lines calls attention to the emotional and psychological abuse Kotoko points out as being just as bad as what she's doing in her voice drama. Something Es also brings up as a factor in Mu's case during you guessed it her second voice drama.

When Mu says she never really hit anyone herself and Es goes yeah you just had other people do it for you.

"I haven't bullied anyone! I'd never do such a mean thing!" ... "I've never once hit anyone or poured water over anyone's head. I wouldn't do something like that!" ... "I'm not lying. I'm not being dishonest! I really haven't done anything!" I see. I'll take note of that.

Just like Kotoko did with Es. Saying just because you never hit anyone doesn't mean you haven't caused harm or incited it to occur. As Es attempts to highlight they never really used excessive physical violence/took it as far as Kotoko did with the prisoners. Despite the fact that they have hit them and impacted some of them just as negatively as Kotoko has.

Even more so from the admission of Mahiru in her second voice drama.

"I mean it. It doesn't hurt. Compared to the way I felt when you chose not to forgive me... Not at all." ...! "Not at all... Nothing. None of it hurts. It's not...as big of a deal. Ever since, I've constantly been hearing...voices saying I couldn't be forgiven. Yours? Whose? I don't know... I don't know, but... I've heard them this whole time." Mahiru, calm down... "Was what I did such a bad thing? I just... had a normal relationship like everyone else...! That's all I did! Why can that not be forgiven? Hey, why? Why? Why?"

Kotoko's second trial voice drama does well to follow up on those similarities It's Not My Fault, Bring It On, and Backdraft highlighted between the prisoners and those who watch Milgram. The same mentality to jump into something that is quite frankly no one other than the parties involved business just to turn around and blame others when things get bad.

Later

"Ah- But if you don't forgive me, then Haruka-kun will die. So, I think it'd be best not to do that." ...! So, you've heard about that nonsense, too? "Mhm! Haruka-kun told me. So, I could rest easy according to him. That made me happy... It made me really feel our friendship!" You know about it and you're not trying to stop him? Haruka, that is? "Why would I? Haruka-kun says that's what he wants. So, there's nothing I can do, right?" But you're calling him your friend? "Isn't it exactly because he's, my friend? Isn't friendship about letting your friends do the stuff they want?" ... "Are you planning to tell me, "That's not what friendship is."? Then, what is it? It's about sticking together because it's beneficial for everyone involved, isn't it?" I don't think Haruka is benefitting from that at all. "No way... It's not like you'd know what's good for him." ... You sure are tough to beat. "I really don't get what it is you're trying to say, Warden-san. Haruka-kun is free to decide what he wants, and I'm not doing anything wrong. It's not like I asked him to do that!" I see. So, that's how it is, huh. You don't say anything; just because you're present, the wishes of those around you evolve to benefit you- Oh, so that's it. Like, a born queen. No, it's as if you're influencing your surroundings not with words but with pheromones... Just like a queen bee. "Pheromones...? I'm not sure what you're going on about but I'm not a fan of that lewd-sounding stuff." That's not the nuance i was talking about. "Either way there are prisoners much more deserving of not being forgiven than me. So, I think you should focus your energy on those guys instead. Like, Kotoko-san has been up to no good, for example. Ah, but what she did was approved by you, wasn't it?" ...You're making my blood boil. "Anyway... I think you would do good to forgive me. Then Haruka-kun will be safe, too. Ah, actually- Couldn't you just forgive everyone? Then Kotoko-san won't run amok, and you won't have to think about all the difficult stuff." ...That is...a very enticing proposal. "Right? Hah, hehehe." Abandoning all thinking... How nice it would be if I could just do that. "...If you ask me, I don't really get why you don't do it..." Because this is the role I'm playing! "But this role was giving to you, wasn't it?" ...! "You didn't end up doing this because you wanted to, right? It's not a dream you've had for a long time or anything, Warden-san? So, there's no need to let it tie you down. Couldn't you just quit?" What are you... "Warden-san- We call you warden, because that's what you are, right? And I wa sassigned the role of prisoner, but that doesn't mean I'm now nothing but a prisoner at heart, too. After all, I'm still me." ...! "Are you okay warden? Are you feelings sick again?" Haah...haeuahh... "That's because you keep thinking too much about difficult things." ...Gyh!... Haah... "Just stop. Being the warden, that is."

Es brings up that Mu is emotionally manipulative. That she hones onto any weakness to exploit in those she dislikes and makes herself look small so those around will feel more inclined to help her. Through her voice drama, like many of the other prisoners, Mu uses the same tactics that got her into Milgram to begin with.

From her first voice drama Mu is well aware that Es has issues when it comes to thinking about themselves outside of their job as prison guard. She recognizes it as a trigger which she willfully exploits in an attempt to get her point across better.

Then despite saying what Kotoko did is no concern of hers and since it was approved by the warder it'd be wrong of her to disagree with it earlier in the same voice drama her tone changes a lot near the end.

"Huh? But that has nothing to do with me." What? "The ones who are suffering are the ones who have done bad things right? You know, like, what goes around comes around?" ... "Besides Kotoko-san hurt and was mean to the people who you chose not to forgive, right?" ...Yeah. "Wouldn't it be weird for me to have any thoughts on that, then? After all, I didn't do anything wrong. You forgave me!"

Yet, suddenly when the idea that she might be viewed as in the wrong later comes up Kotoko is running amok and is a prisoner more deserving of not being forgiven than her. Because Mu as she has always done puts targets on other people to avoid being singled out herself. Then to add insult to injury she directly contradicts what she says about friendship and it being letting the people around you do what they want.

By continuing to badger Es into quiting being a guard and stop taking the role so seriously. Because Es taking their job seriously does not benefit Mu. It puts her at risk of being singled out and votes guilty later down the line. So, it's better if they just drop it.

If they don't/can't she has no issues, or qualms making the situation more difficult for them by poking at weak spots until Es-

If you want to betray from jealousy I’ve told you what’s gonna happen.

What's the point of highlighting all of this? Why include all the others when this is just meant to be about if Mikoto references the audience over the course of trial two.

Well, to be completely honest this isn't about them.

Even though at times this seems to be about the others. They're only being used as examples of how I analyzed the information provided and discerned through my own perspective when the audience was being referred to, how it was being referred to and why.

It is just easiest to explain that method over the course of all the prisoners and build up to Mikoto.

It just so happens that this may stand out more overtly with Mu than any of the other prisoners. Because of how consistent a character she is. Like she states in her voice drama no matter what labels external forces put on her, inside, in her heart she will always be Mu. She, like all the other prisoners, isn't changing and has no desire to change.

Their only desire is to escape punishment and gain social power and influence by any means necessary at times.

This is important with how they refer to the audience and the entities they choose to suck up to. Many of the prisoners have recognized being nice to Es just does not matter long term because they are just a proxy. They don't have much power or influence over how the prisoners are viewed.

Sure, it's good to get along with them for images sake during the interrogation but ultimately how well off they are with the guard doesn't heavily impact their verdict.

Yet, as long as they aren't outwardly and overtly malicious, they can get away with harassing Es if they want to. Mu's whole thing is making it appear as though she had no malicious intent or at least if she did it was a warranted response to the circumstances. She's just a victim, an underdog biting back. It's not her fault people were mean to her, but she doesn't just have to take it on the chin and wear it.

She has a right to protect herself after all she was-

"Having such a hard time." and "Trying so hard."

She was at a point where she couldn't take it anymore. Her heart was all dried up and her sorry spells weren't working.

Mikoto is the same way throughout his voice drama.

A mix of Mu and Mahiru's behavior. Basically, they're all passive aggressive about it. Dancing around the point instead of tackling it head on.

Not really elaborating on what they've heard but more so implying it through their emotional states and responses.

"If you just laugh and pretend, usually things will work out in the end right?"

X

"I'm pretty good at that! Making things work out to the best of my abilities." Is that so... "Eheheh... But...it's not coming to an end. All of this. With things I've never even heard before, the whole ti- The whole time... Haah... I have to see through all of these irritating experiences...!" You emerged, huh. "Hey. Looks like you haven't received a beating yet, Warden brat." ...! ... "Hah? What, are you scared?" Like you didn't get beaten by Kotoko...! "Heheh... That was just because she caught me off guard. We went at it again while you were asleep and it's not like i lost there."

Mikoto in his second voice drama similarly to Mahiru and Kazui does not willfully give Es or the audience information. Instead questioning Es on what they believe and what they saw.

"As for alters... Why do you think they're born?" In precise terms it's called, Dissociative Identity Disorder. Generally speaking it refers to when a person experiences severe pain or stress, and a new personality is created in order to isolate the original personality from the resulting trauma. "Yeah. I... probably come out to ease the stress I experience."

It's important to note that Mikoto (John) is not speaking in past tense here but present tense. So, he's not stating I emerged in the past in response to the stress Mikoto was experiencing. He's literally saying I'm coming out now to ease the stress he's currently experiencing.

Subtly calling to attention that Milgram, the verdict and the audience voices are causing Mikoto stress and he was brought out to handle and relieve Mikoto from that.

Even elaborating after that-

"The fact that I come out for longer just means that I'm constantly under extreme stress."

Again highlighting the negative impact Milgram has had on Mikoto's mental health and wellbeing. Yet also calling to attention that Mikoto (John) doesn't have a clue about what the source of the stress is. Just that Mikoto must be stressed for him to be here. Saying that just means and going off the fact that he's here at all to discern that.

Them asking this at least confirms again that they both recognize the audience as well as Es at least know Mikoto has Dissociative Identity Disorder. Something Mikoto states he's heard from the voices on his birthday as well.

The fact that he's questioning if there's really another "me" on his birthday means he more than likely heard that from the audience. He doesn't really get the chance to broach it in his voice drama or doesn't broach the topic.

Yet it is made abundantly clear before that occurs that Mikoto is aware due to the voices he's heard from the audience. So there's that as well.

All this makes the moment after this particularly interesting.

Stress... Namely, the environment of Milgram, right? "Right. You're decision to not forgive me is especially stress inducing. That's why I'm entrusting me with my heart." I see. "Not like I can blame myself. From my point of view, I'm being blamed for a crime I can't even remember." If that's the truth, then... You're the one who committed the murder? "Yeah, it was me. I killed them off." ... "So, I, Mikoto really didn't do it." Can i ask... Why you killed them? "They annoyed me." Who did you kill? "Just whoever was walking around nearby." ... How many did you kill? "Can't remember I was just born back then, you know. It's kind of fuzzy."

Just whoever was walking around-

In this empty ass back alley looking underpass in the dead of fucking night. Okay, Lil' Slugger. I believe you.

I too walk around in the dark of night to secluded spaces with no public foot traffic and a loud passing train that would mask not only my screams but those of anyone else around this is true and reasonable. It's something we all have to do we can't control where our homes are located or find other safer alternative night routes at times. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do and people like Mikoto are there.

Sometimes you have to walk up to or past a suspicious ominously posted up stranger that definitely doesn't look in any way to be waiting to initiate a hit. That's not something any person would want to avoid in the middle of the night on their walk by all means. I would have seen you like this and went whelp fuck my house is that way... Aw, damn he's either gonna kill me or I'm gonna get home but I gotta walk that way. Better start praying and speed walking.

I ain't even a religious person but I need something to have me right now.

We already made eye contact. I saw him see me. That was my first mistake. Can't get out of it now. Whelp, I have the perfect song for this. I'm such a fucking disappointment. Oh, this route will be shorter there's not many people on it! We'll get home faster. Now I'm about to die.

I would be so pissed to die because this guy was just what fucking waiting to hurt somebody. What the fuck man pick up a contact sport and put the bat down!

Think I was fucking around when I said okay I belive you well ha ha; no. I wasn't. I don't believe this is the truth in this instance. However, I one hundred percent believe this is some city shit. The fucked up thing is what he just said isn't unreasonable like that shit happens there's senseless violence all the time. That doesn't make it better he really went on the mic and said,

"I killed someone because it really was just one of those days, I'm quirky like that. I didn't even know them. Didn't even know their name. They were just annoying had those hit me with a bat vibes you know."

Like dude fuck you that's not better. That's substantially worse actually. I'm sorry this has nothing to do with the question. It's just... Rewatching Mikoto's second voice drama is a trip. One second it's like if you did do that for the reason you stated then you're kind of just objectively the worst person here and continuing to vote you guilty would be better.

He just admitted he just does this shit to relieve his own stress and it doesn't matter who he hits. It's not personal in any way. Does having a hard time and demanding job excuse that? I don't think it does. These were all people to his own quick and flimsy admission had no connection to him. Never wronged him, hell they're strangers whose only crime was walking near him.

Yet the child who killed their abuser is barely treading water while he's here coasting-

That's fucked up! The fanbase did Amane Momose dirty and it really just seems like it's because she's a child. Because these fucking adults be acting hell of childish and they are not getting as much heat as this twelve year old has. Be better. The fuck type of defense is this. He really came in here and said,

"I felt like it so I did. What's the problem?"

Then a majority of people went alright go off he's such a victim- Of what nepotism, marginally good looking priviliege?! Being shippable and okay to sexualize leading to people liking and projecting on him more than a twelve-year-old?! Because all of those things are actually helping him a lot if you take a step back to think about. Like if you take in the image in full he's doing quite well now in comparison to the shit start he had.

He literally said I killed just because they annoyed me. I didn't even know them and people went I do not dee the problem with that. Go off king people do be annoying. If you don't want to die don't be annoying in public. Being annoying death penalty actively abusining your child for years and killing a cat come on Amane jumping to murder due to that was a bit of leap wasn't it. Like even if your religion said so sweety killing is bad.

Because the truth is if he was Amane's age and gave the excuse that was given here it wouldn't be working. It would be giving repeat offender energy he would need to learn a lesson. He would be hiding behind his disorder.

Even though Mikoto (John) may only be admiting to committing the murders to cover for Mikoto which I'll go into again later... I'm mostly highlighting this to go this should not have made him be more favorably viewed. Like people really just ignored he said that shit.

Yet, then other times in the voice drama it really sounds like listening to your friend lie about the disorder they have blatantly and without restraint to get out of something they simply did not want to do to begin with. To an individual that is woefully underinformed about how the disorder works. Which is me saying it's fucking hilarious. It is absolutely amazing. He should keep doing that actually.

It's not Mikoto or Mikoto (John's) fault that people are ignorant when it comes to dissociative identity disorder and stereotype people that have it. He should take advantage of what aids him. If that's the ignorance of others in this age it takes ten seconds to start researching. No one has to teach anybody in the real wold except teachers and they ain't paid well for it.

We gotta figure it out on our own. He is in jail he doesn't owe society or anyone in that jail shit especially the truth and he isn't giving it.

Mikoto (John) goes me fronting longer has allowed me to stabilize which probably isn't good and means Mikoto the prisoner is disappearing. That is not typically not how Dissociative Identity Disorder works. I don't know why anyone would want to present it as though it does work the way Mikoto (John) is purporting. He's basically saying that alters are born at random and are immediately violent.

This is a a very weird and stereotypical way of discussing and presenting people with DID. That has led to the demonization and stigmatizing of the disorder. It's not like it can't happen people can have violent alters but usually they're responding to a trigger not just being violent towards uninvolved parties or just lashing out at anyone while outside of stressful situations.

Plus, alters can go dormant but that doesn't just happen due to someone else fronting. They can also be integrated. Everyone is different though. So, maybe that's just how this works for Mikoto. Though, alters do disappear for a bit that happens as well. So, why is Mikoto (John) acting like Mikoto's gonna die?

It's difficult for me not to question how this was phrased, especially given what others have pulled over the course of trial two. A good deal of trial two has been prisoners going well if you vote me Guilty someone else will disappear/die- So, you should just like find me innocent. It's that easy find me innocent and everything will be fine.

Like these assholes have genuinely forgotten they are in here because someone has already died. They really be out here like I will certainly take a life but it won't be mine. Do as I say not as I do. Violence is bad and we wouldn't want to hurt anyone let's all just get along.

Where was this Barney ass logic when you were giving people head-on collisions with bats, knives to people's chest, committing malpractice. Like none of these people have said there's no reason to take a life because they've all fucking done it. Just that there's no reason to take away their lives. At least with the people who have brought that sort of thing up.

Isn't that sort of fucked up? That all of trial two a good deal of prisoners threatened the audience with the idea of someone dying as a result of the audiences' actions. Completely ignoring, downplaying, or evading the fact that someone has already died because of their actions.

Instead, it's about reducing harm in the present suddenly. Yet they weren't thinking about reducing harm when they did what they did. Maybe reducing harm to themselves. Then when their victims come up they get real quiet suddenly. Unless it's Shidou or Mahiru who immediately turn it around and make it about how the victims deaths are impacting them.

How it's making them feel bad.

Even ignoring all of the emotionally questionable things presented here and over the course of trial two. Pushing that to the side and just taking the voice drama by itself.

It's riddled with contradictions. For example, this statement

"Evidently, the time I've been fronting has been getting longer. So, this "me" has been able to stabilize. Isn't that the reason we can talk properly?"

Let's again ignore the fact that you were working and taking the fucking train before Milgram. Something that is not only expressly shown in your music video but corroborated by Mikoto's own testimony that directly conflicts with seeing you on a fucking train,

Q.12 How do you travel to work? Mikoto: Road cycling. It’s one of my hobbies, and it’s good exercise too. The fact I don’t have to worry about making the last train can be both a blessing and a curse.

Meanwhile in clown town where the alibis are shit and keeping a story straight is dead.

Q.17 Do you smoke? Mikoto: Only electric. I used to smoke real cigarettes in the past, but since I started my job I’ve stopped.

Like they even change the tote bags they carry so one has the color we fucking have had associated with Mikoto (John) and the other doesn't so the person taking the fucking train is more than like Mikoto (John).

Not even adding to the fact Mikoto confirms that he's the one who works at night in his fucking first written interrogation through this answer-

Q.06 What do you hate? Mikoto: working overnight / reptiles / violence

All things that appear or are alluded to in MeMe. Either from the tarot cards or expressly shown like with the images of him returning home.

Ah, man it'd be a fucking shame if on top of all that there was canonical merch that showed Mikoto vaping after the murder or holding an e-cigarette.

Certainly no one has that and the staff wouldn't provide us with something so damning because they like to keep things up to interpretation and it's not meant to be solvable. It's about how we all view it, view it in our hearts through our feelings.

Meanwhile the third anniversary art coming in with a steel chair.

(Something I brought up way before, along with the idea that the art from the third anniversary is in fact the prisoners after their crimes. Even getting this merch to check more closely. )

Oh, Holmes I'm absolutely stumped at what this could mean. Surely this is still just Mikoto (John) too. It could be no one else. Mikoto is an honest innocent man who couldn't hurt a fly.

All he did was dream. Except when that witty bastard plum forgot he still smoked cigarettes occasionally just a few times. Quitting is difficult, yes, even when moving over to the same thing in a different form. It doesn't mean he's a liar.

For another example, here

This is not Mikoto (John) in MeMe smoking in the tub but still Mikoto. He's an honest but confused man. Who wouldn't know or rightfully remember no longer smoking cigarettes.

Okay time to stop joking around-

It is more reasonable to recognize that they both appear throughout MeMe and Double and this is subtly displayed through their stated habits, clothing, and facial expressions. Then just ignoring the pile of evidence that shows Mikoto (John) clearly had a life outside of here too.

Along with that again to Mikoto's own admission trial one he was the one more active at night until recently. Stating with extraordinarily little prompting-

Q.20 Are you more of a morning person or a night person? Mikoto: I used to be basically nocturnal. Recently though I’ve been falling asleep pretty early.

Ignoring all of that again he's still just fucking lying.

Just because alters don't front doesn't mean they don't have a stable internal existence. What the fuck are you on about right now? Like at most I can generously say he meant it was becoming easier for him to front but this was bullshit.

This was not a good way of phrasing that. Again alters that don't front have personalities and could even have rich lives internally. So, Mikoto (John) is on some nonsense. Like he's just testing what he can fucking get away with because he knows Es is stupid and ill informed.

Every day I question how he is getting away with it when the honest answer is,

People frankly don't care to see it and that's fine.

There's even the fucking fact that Mikoto (John) directly fucking contradicts himself right after stating this.

"Evidently, the time I've been fronting has been getting longer. So, this "me" has been able to stabilize. Isn't that the reason we can talk properly?" ... "If I had stayed a monster maybe that would've been better. ...What?" You've turned out to be much more rational than I expected... I'm surprised. "I'm a university graduate after all."

Alright, Mikoto (John) which the fuck is it?

Have you only recently been fronting enough to stabilize leading to you being able to communicate properly or did you front for all of fucking college?

You were at least aware enough of it to consider yourself a college graduate. So, what's the truth? Huh which fucking is it?

"Can't remember I was just born back then, you know. It's kind of fuzzy."

I am once again asking how you fucking remember college Mikoto (John)?! Yet, were just born back then?

Okay, let's talk about the elephant in the room-

The threekoto or trikoto theory.

Because some people may want to say if you take into consideration the existence of a third unknown alter than all these inconsistencies can be explained, Gunsli. This is what all those inconsistencies are hinting towards, it's the perfect explanation you're just choosing not to see it.

Yes, I am choosing not to see it that way.

Yet that's not only because it doesn't bring me any narrative joy and subtracts from it. It's also because I view that concept as a cheap fix-it solution where a new factor has been shoved into the narrative in order to account for things within it that could be logistically explained by other means. There's also no actual evidence to this being the case.

One could rightfully say what about the inconsistencies you just pointed out though.

Those could simply be explained by a fact that Milgram has brought up since the beginning of the series-

The prisoners can lie.

If the prisoners who are under more restrictions than Mikoto (John) still have the freedom to lie why are people assuming Mikoto (John) isn't lying as well? Especially when being faced with an unknown, dangerous situation, in which he's been threatened with the death sentence? Like wouldn't the reasonable response to such an odd situation be to keep your information yours alone. Not willfully give it to an entity exerting power over you?

So, the inconsistencies found here very well could be there to hint at what exactly happened once all the information is examined together.

Though, let's be serious for a bit.

Let me walk down that bridge with anyone who wants to go there? What's the actual probability that all the information that they gave us-

Including naming the songs,

MeMe and Double.

Along with willfully adding this fucking very overt line,

"Doesn’t matter if you didn’t wish for it, can’t get rid of me now. Just the two of us, relieved, aren’t you? I’ll protect you (us)."

Are all actually statements meant to mislead the audience and both Mikoto and Mikoto (John) are being honest about not remembering the murder and this third more recently born alter is the actual murderer. Because given that statement on the crimes and Mikoto (John)'s admission that yes, he is a college graduate, the lyrics in Double pointing out we made him out to be a scoundrel-

In my opinion that would be the most reasonable conclusion to draw if I were to believe this is true with the information we've been given so far.

Even if that were the case and all of these other things were red herrings.

These would all be objectively the worst red herrings in existence. Because that isn't a red herring it's a fucking school of them. Grab a fishing rod and get to it. This is past the point of being considered a red herring and instead would be more aptly described as a series of overt lies.

You know a good red herring is when people can actually figure out it is that and there's evidence in canon alluding to that being the case and what is commonly accepted as truth being disingenuous. I'm not the biggest Steven Universe fan nor do I hate it passionately. I'm more neutral to it.

So, let's use it as an example.

-Spoilers for Steven Universe-

In Steven Universe it turns out Pink Diamond and Rose Quartz are the same fucking person. There is art that alludes to this before this reveal. There were speculations and theories of this being the case. What Steven Universe did not do repeatedly at any point was go she's not a diamond we swear this is a normal Rose Quartz.

They didn't draw attention to the elephant in the room over and over. Most of the characters in the series believed fully that she was a quartz and had been lied to for years. It's never called attention to because it is a wildly accepted truth. So, nobody questioned it.

Yet, there were still hints this was the case enough for people to speculate such far before it was revealed to be the case. My point is red herrings are seen not heard, not repeated over and over. A red herring by definition is one misleading clue or accepted truth meant to trick the viewer into believing something that is untrue or move them away from the truth.

It's not a consistent pattern.

-End Spoilers for Steven Universe-

Then to add more insult to fucking injury why the fuck would Deco*27 say this-

This isn't a red herring this isn't even within the canon.

This is a statement he made independent of the canon. Outside of that he didn't even have to give a specific number but did anyway. He could have just said what will happen to the Mikoto's now. If they wanted this shit to remain ambiguous. Yet, he still used two unless this translation from the Milgram app is simply wrong and it added that.

It'd be weird but machine translations have been weirder.

Yet, considering everything I've seen it truly makes more sense for me to believe Mikoto and Mikoto (John) are both being dishonest for self-preservation reasons than to believe that the entire series has been lying from jump.

I just find it more likely that these two who found themselves in such a strange situation, who are vehemently trying to convince the audience and the other prisoners around them that they are honest trustworthy men are just fucking lying about a lot of provably false shit. Then as it tends to happen when someone is telling lies off the seat of their fucking pants there are many easily spotted contradictions and direct confirmation of actual truths.

Because the truth tends to be consistent lies aren't unless a person is very skilled at it. (Glances at Kazui.) Throwing all that to the side.

If the idea of there being three alters brings someone joy, then that's all well and good. I'm not trying to stomp that out or rain on anyways parade. I just don't personally want the information I discuss to be associated with that or have any interest in discussing that interpretation.

There are a lot of people who'd have a great time doing that. I am not one of them.

Because I feel using that idea to excuse the fact that the alibi, excuses, other statements Mikoto has given, and the reality of the situation through the songs extracted directly contradict each other in a way that highlights he may not be being honest is not only incredibly convenient for him but somewhat disingenuous.

This includes his voice dramas and the birthday interaction before Double premiered. Unsurprisingly.

I'm not looking for an easy fix for those inconsistencies that keep Mikoto looking infallible and like he couldn't hurt a fly. I'm not looking for something that frames Mikoto as being in the right, a good person, and a victim of circumstance while highlighting an alter as being completely bad and in the wrong always. Because that sort of story is lacking in nuances in my opinion and wouldn't be fun to me.

If that were the case it would make it feel as though the story itself was highlighting Mikoto's character having dissociative identity disorder as the reason for him being a murderer or the only thing that led to these issues occurring. Something that just doesn't feel right to me personally.

It's never like what has Mikoto done/chosen to do or how could he have responded differently or managed stress better. Nope it's always an alters fault, it's always the disorders' fault. There's no respect for Mikoto's own agency because he's a guy with a disorder, he didn't mean it, he couldn't help it, that's just how it is.

The impressive thing is how often Milgram as a series pushes back against this interpretation and simplification of dissociative disorders in general.

Then the fandom pretty much plays into this trying to tell others there's a definitive way to know if someone has it, how many alters they have, and at what time an alter is out just by vibes and speaking patterns alone.

As if dissociative identity disorder doesn't involve a shit ton of masking and trying to appear fine to avoid being singled out by others.

Milgram highlights this issue with the perception of dissociative disorder through Amane's voice drama.

Where Es literally implies that since Amane's case doesn't present the same exact way as Mikoto's and she cannot do the same things as him that solidifies to them that Amane herself cannot have a dissociative disorder. So, in Es' eyes what Amane is doing is just playing pretend by referring to herself as we and god. So, really all she is or appears to be to Es at the end of the day is a kid throwing a tanturm and playing make believe.

Well... It's in vain. So, you might as well listen to me while we're here. "I won't forgive you. I won't forgive you." Prisoners can't attack the warden. This is one of Milgram's core rules, although a certain guy with multiple personalities managed to slip past it. "I won't forgive you... I won't forgive you..." Which means Milgram doesn't dictate who the prisoners are by their body but by their mind. If the mind isn't accounted for then the rule doesn't apply. It bothers me that there's a loophole, but... "I'll kill you...! I'll kill you!" Thanks to this defective rule we can confirm this; The 'you' holding the scissors right now isn't a god or a concept. It's Amane Momose herself. "...I'll..." So, what you're doing right now really is just a game of pretending. This is stupid.

Then Amane later in her voice drama calls out Es for referring to themselves as we. Saying that Es must just be playing pretend to avoid taking accountability for their actions as well.

Es makes the very severe and common mistake of assuming all dissociative disorders present the same way and immediately has their own logic used again them. Leading them to have another crisis of identity. They're shown to have a serious lack of understanding of themselves and their opinion.

Something that from the beginning of Milgram has been shown to cause them discomfort in multiple voice dramas. Mu's first and second one, Kotoko's first and second one, and Amane's second one. This same logic could very well lead to the audience making a lot of the same mistakes as Es is presented making.

Well, that was longer than I anticipated. But, there's a lot of things about Mikoto that imply he not only heard the audience voices but took the reaction he received into account when deciding on how he proceeded.

Other than that, I've got a birthday to have. Sorry for the long answer and going much more in depth than I needed to. I also hope none of this was rude.

Though i can't really control how I'm interpreted.

[sunny-speaks]

Househusband Harper Headcanons

Hello, hello !! I am going to be redoing some blog design stuff when I WORK UP THE MOTIVATION-- so if the blog name changes, y’all know why!!

Anyway, I've been deep diving for Harper crumbs to accurately write him as one does. (gotta get everything lore accurate, would not be able to live with a too OOC in any of my fictional literature./hj)

AND I KNOW HE WOULD RATHER HAVE YOU BE THE AT-HOME PERSON AND WHATNOT while he works but hear me out… He would be such a good househusband, alright? AUHG- Everything's under the cut, lol.

also Harper is from @campwillowpeak !! I can remove the tag btw, if you don't wanna be tagged in further works ;-;

So maybe the two of you had been married for years. Doesn’t make Harper feel any less happy when you introduce him to people as your husband or when he sees the ring on your hand that he bought for you before you leave the house, it always leaves him with a tingly feeling.

After all, now you’re his. And doesn’t that sound just lovely?

Harper’s got that side job of his to keep the both of you financially stable, as long as you don’t ask too many questions about it.

He doesn’t understand why you need to go work, when the two of you could be comfortable at home from his profits.

Especially when he has more than enough to keep you happy with him!

But if that’s what his partner wants, who is he to deny you?

He’s always anxious to let you leave the house, you’re so magnificent, what if on your way home, some creep tries to hit on you?

He knows you wouldn’t cheat on him and that you can defend yourself, but… but wouldn’t it be safer to just be at home with you?

Or worse, what if one of your coworkers, god forbid your boss, tried to… coerce you into something!

He knows you always wear your wedding ring, and he made sure that it was shiny enough to show people how much he loved you. (Material objects could never dare to show anyone how much he loved you. He loves you sooo much and he knows you love him too !)

But there are a lot of ignorant people out there! 

If you let him, Harper's be more than glad to mark you up, stake his claim so your peers know exactly who you’re married to.

“Cara miaaa,” Your husband looked up at you with wide, pleading, unfaltering eyes, “You said your coworkers were giving you trouble, right?” He’d practiced saying it without violently cursing out your coworkers. You wouldn’t like it if he was mean about them… Even if it was true.

“Unfortunately, yeah. They can’t take a hint, even with this.” You gestured to your wedding ring. “I don’t get how it’s so hard for them to understand I’m a faithful spouse…”

And with that, Harper set his plan into action. “Y’know… we could do something a bit more drastic, if you wish, dear?”

Your eyes glinted with a hint of mischief. “And what would that be, Harp?” You had a vague idea what he was hinting at, but you wanted to hear him say it.

“Mm, just showing them how much I looove you… and maybe biting you.” He muttered the last part to himself, a light flush making its way to his face. He had not prepared too much on how to convince you.

“You mind giving me a little preview?” You sat yourself down on the couch and beckoned him towards you with a finger.

“Not at all, cara mia.”

But there are some pros to being alone when you’re gone!

Harper being your dutiful househusband means he can and will do anything and everything for you !

(And indulge himself in certain activities while you’re gone)

He also has complete control over everything you sleep in, you eat, you wear.

So if you notice some odd stains on your clothes or weird tastes in your food, he doesn’t know what you’re talking about ! Do you not like the food he spent so much time preparing? Or the laundry he did to take a load off your back ?

It’s not his fault he gets so lonely when you’re gone ! It’s just because he misses you so much !

You should just quit your job, you know? It’s so dangerous ! That boss of yours was targeted by an arsonist ! (Because he had the nerve to try and touch you.) Gosh, what if you were next ?! (Harper would never do that to you though… <3)

You should just listen to your husband, he’s so worried for you ! Won’t you pleaaase hear him out?

[propertyofkylar]

okieeee this is a mix of @hatkuu talking abt kylar’s weird scent thing and a prompt from @pileofmushforalex about kylar being a pity fuck/turning into angry sex. enjoy :)

m!kylar, m!whitney (mentioned), f!pc

cw: scent kink, possessiveness, kinda dubcon but not really it’s just really angry sex, a whiff of a breeding kink, kylar

“H-hi,” Kylar’s timid voice came out as he walked up to you.

You gave the boy a smile. You knew he had been following you - you could feel his eyes burning a hole into the back of your head - but he finally approached you.

A possessive hand wrapped around your wrist. “We need privacy. I-I need you to do things to me,” Kylar gulped.

You let him pull you into the nearest alleyway. Honestly, you felt bad for the guy. He was small and anxious, and therefore got picked on by everyone. And as long as you indulged him, he was perfectly sweet. Plus, he was a decent lay - what he lacked in experience he surely made up for with enthusiasm.

Quickly, his hands were sliding up your shirt and his face pressed to your neck. “Smells so good…” he mumbled into your skin, working to undress you.

You let out a pleased sound as he sucked on your throat, moving to pull down his sweatpants. Kylar looked at you adoringly and stilled your hands before dropping to his knees in front of you.

Your breath hitched as he put his head up your skirt and pressed a kiss to the front of your panties. His nose bumped your clothed clit and you giggled.

But Kylar froze. He pulled his head away and gave you a dark look. You had no idea what was going on.

“What is it?” You asked, wracking your mind for what the problem could be. But you turned up empty. Why was Kylar acting like this?

“Smells wrong,” Kylar muttered, standing up and looking you in the eyes. The fire in his expression made your heartbeat quicken.

You swallowed, starting to feel anxious. “Wrong?”

He nodded, pressing you against the wall and framing you with his arms, trapping you in. “Why do you smell like Whitney, my love?”

You felt the blood drain from your face. Whitney was your boyfriend, sure, and Kylar was, well, a pity fuck, but you tried to keep those separate. Evidently, you weren’t doing a good job.

“I don’t know what you mean,” you forced a laugh. How the hell could he even tell?

“Were you with Whitney earlier? Why? What were you doing?” Oh, Kylar was mad. Spit landed on your face as his voice got louder and more hysterical.

“Well-” You were squirming beneath his stare, panic rising in you. “I guess—I mean—he said I’m his girlfriend, and—”

“Girlfriend?!” Kylar shrieked. “But we are meant to be, my love! I love you!”

You faltered. “I know! I care about you! You just—I don’t know! You’re sweet, and I felt bad, so—”

Fuck. That was definitely the wrong thing to say. Kylar pulled away from you, looking angrier than you’d seen before. “I’m a pity fuck?!”

You couldn’t say anything in response. You were frozen with fear. Kylar started pacing back and forth, muttering to himself.

“A pity fuck…what does he have that I don’t…I’m better…I’ll show them all…”

Suddenly, Kylar spun towards you again, with a glow in his eyes you couldn’t quite place. He grinned widely, but there was no joy there.

“I’ll just have to fuck you even better than Whitney, I guess.”

His mouth was on yours in a violent kiss, your teeth clashing against each other. You think you felt blood drawn.

“My love is teasing me!” Kylar giggled hysterically as he slid a hand below your waistband. You felt two of his fingers inside you, the heel of his palm rubbing against your clit. You whined.

Kylar’s mouth returned to your neck, this time biting down. Hard.

“Fuck!” You gasped and felt Kylar smirk against your skin.

“He doesn’t touch you like this. I know it,” he mumbled as his fingers scissored in you. You could only respond in moans.

Kylar pulled his pants down and his fully erect cock sprung out, the tip already leaking precum. Your thighs clenched involuntarily at the sight.

“Gonna feel so good inside you,” he murmured as he pulled his fingers out of you. He shoved them in his mouth with a smile. “Mmm, still tastes like you, at least.”

Then, he practically tore your panties off and plunged his hefty cock inside of you, eliciting a whimper from you as your walls stretched to accommodate the size. That was something you would never tell Whitney - Kylar had a dick bigger than his.

“Oh my god,” you moaned as Kylar thrusted into you. He pressed his body right against yours, trapping you between him and the wall behind you.

“Gonna fill my love up,” Kylar cooed, reaching down to rub your clit. “Everyone will know you’re mine when I - hngh -put a baby in you!”

You felt heat building in you. “That’s right, my love. Cum around my cock,” he said, his voice thick with desire.

“Fuck, Kylar,” you groaned, knowing your peak would hit soon.

“Yes,” Kylar gasped. “Say my name! Say it again!”

And you did just that, his name coming out in breathy moans as you came.

“Yes!” Kylar said again, his hips slamming into you. “I love you so much. Gonna fill you up. Gonna be mine forever and ever–” his voice stopped working entirely as he pulled you as close as humanly possible, shuddering as he came inside you.

Panting, he laid his head on your shoulder and breathed in deeply. He made no signs of moving, instead, he wrapped his arms around your waist and held you close.

“I’m not pulling out until I know you’re pregnant,” Kylar growled. “And I know you’re ovulating right now. I can smell it.”

What the fuck?

[shadowsandshapes]

[Spicy] FFTB | CH 10: Secrets Among the Sheets (Dabi/F!Reader)

Summary: Dabi shares his secret and is in dire need of some comfort afterward. Things get a little heated between the two of you. Contains: Mild Angst (Dabi's Past, yknow), Comfort, SPICE, MINORS I WILL STAB YOU IF YOU INTERACT, Dirty Talking, Cursing, Dabi This Isn't How You Deal With Your Emotions But Goddamn Are You Hot, Dry Humping

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“We gotta have a talk you and me.”

That’s something you never want to hear after waking up in a dude’s bed.

You turned to face Dabi as you pulled one of his old T-shirts over your head. He was on the bed, keeping his eyes averted as you changed out of last night’s clothes and into some of his spare duds. Whatever was going through his mind had his leg feverishly bouncing up and down against the mattress. He wasn’t as violently anxious as last night but the sight still raised your apprehension. You approached the bed – laying a hand on his knee. That seemed to do the trick. The shaking stopped. Dabi looked up and sucked in a deep breath, his azure eyes struggling to hide their inner turmoil. This was serious. He opened his arms for you. While the gesture came across as hesitant and tense, you accepted – crawling into Dabi’s lap with your bare thighs on either side of his body. The tension in his bones had him feeling so fucking wound up, but your presence helped to ease the pressure.

“Okay,” you said, nestling up against him. “Whenever you’re ready.”

A meaningful silence followed. You could hear Dabi’s heart beating behind his ribs. Frantic and uncertain. There was so much he had to tell you – he was just looking for a place to start. Somehow, holding you tighter made this easier. His hand landed on the small of your back, finding support. Both physically and emotionally. Trust had to start somewhere, Dabi realized, and he had a lot of catching up to do for the shit he’d put you through.

“Before you…before we do this – you should know everything. Little while ago you asked me why I joined the League, yeah?” Dabi started, waiting for you to process the information. You nodded, allowing him to continue. This next part was even more difficult to say. “Touya – my name’s Todoroki Touya. Endeavor is my father.”

Your blood turned to ice. “The new number fucking one? That Endeavor?”

“Yeah, I know.” Dabi chuckled, recognizing the horrified look on your face. A vehement bitterness and cold hard pain tainted the sound of his laughter. “The bastard’s obsessed with surpassing AllMight but he’s too fucking weak to do it himself. Too egotistical to look past his own shortcomings. So? He forced his delusional dream onto his kids. I was the oldest and also his biggest failure. Trained me so hard a threw up. Beat me and my siblings. And mom. Pushed me to do more and more and more until – I wasn’t good enough anymore. My body couldn’t handle the heat –” 

He raised his arm. You followed his movements – heart aching as you watched his eyes harden into a hateful stare at the numerous burns on his skin. Dabi loathed his body and his mangled appearance so much, you could barely stand the way he cursed it with his next breath. “Look at me. Look how fucked up my face is. I don’t even recognize the kid I used to be anymore. My old man doesn’t even recognize me anymore…”

This wasn’t about his body. He sighed – taking a moment to get back on track. It was about Endeavor. About retribution. “When Shoto was born...no one cared about me anymore. It killed me. He was everything to me, you know? All I wanted was for him to be proud of me. Stupid fucking kid. Couldn’t see him for what he really was. Fucking monster. I joined the League to take him down. I needed resources and connections. Shigaraki and the League could give me those.”

You sat quietly for a moment – processing all he had told you. “Holy fucking shit, Dabi…” was all you could muster at first. That was one hell of a story to process. It tugged at your very soul to hear him speak about his past. No one should have to face such injustice from their own flesh and blood. A myriad of emotions coursed through your body all at once. You couldn’t rationalize this. There was no reason this should have happened – yet it was human nature to attempt to find one. When you finally settled on a feeling to accept, you pressed your lips together – biting back a curse. Lashing out was not the answer right now. Not when Dabi needed you. You steeled your fury. For now. 

He waited for your pity. For you to give him those big, tearful eyes that made him feel inadequate in every way. Sympathy was usually what most humans resorted to upon hearing of such a tragedy. Dabi didn’t want you to think he was weak – but he needed to get through this anyway. If you were going to be together, you needed to know the whole truth. That included the broken, battered and bruised state of his soul. Your soft, warm hands cupped his cheeks, forcing him to confront your judgment head-on. What he saw was surprising. Your eyes were burning hot. Furious. Filled with an anger he had only considered himself capable of. 

It swirled in your gaze as you held onto Dabi’s face, your gentle fingers soothingly tracing the edges of his scars. “Whatever you need from me – I’ll do it. We’re gonna make him pay, yeah?”

“I’m gonna go up against the pros, sweet thing. Top of the charts, the Hero Commission and the entire goddamn police force that comes with it. Are you sure? You wanna stay with me?”

“Dabi, I don’t give two shits who we have to take down. I’m doing this with you.”

You weren’t lying. Dabi’s eyes searched every inch of yours for any sign of bullshit but found none. It wasn’t as relieving as he had hoped. If you had just rejected him, Dabi could have forgotten about you. But you weren’t like that. 

In keeping with the tradition of making nothing but trouble for him, you weren’t going to abandon him.

“Fuck – I was really hoping you wouldn’t say that,” Dabi admitted with a chuckle. “You’re making it real hard on me to stay away from you, you know?” 

You rolled your eyes before planting a quick kiss against his cheek. “I don’t want you to stay away from me, hotshot. Wouldn’t have asked you to take me home if I did.”

A small smile formed on Dabi’s lips as he pulled you closer, resting his chin on the curve of your shoulder. “Even though I look like a literal diseased nutsack?” he asked, just a hint of humor to his tone. That was good. You both needed a laugh after the bombshell he just dropped.

You chuckled and wrapped your arms around his neck. “Buddy – you could look like a moldy peach and I’d still gladly devour you.”

Dabi was staring at you now. Grinning from ear to ear as he ruffled the top of your head. His eyes, previously dull and heavy with anguish, now gleamed brightly again. “You have a way with words, princess. So fuckin’ romantic – I’m swooning.” You grumbled at him half-heartedly, swatting at his hand with a quiet curse for messing with your hair. “One more thing: no one else knows about this and I’d like to keep it that way until the time is right, okay? This is between you and me.”

“Our secret,” you nodded. “Scout’s honor…or rather scoundrel’s honor, I suppose.”

You sat in his lap for what seemed like an eternity. The silence between you felt comfortable. Dabi’s hands rested on your bare thighs – their heat soaking into your skin as they kneaded the flesh. He couldn’t help himself. Something about you wearing his shirt was simply mesmerizing. The way the fabric rested against the curve of your breasts and pooled around your waist was so enticing. Inviting him to touch you more. Despite their inherent heat, you shivered beneath his fingers.

“Dabi –” you breathed out, “–you gotta knock that shit off, I’m – you just bared your soul to me…”

His lips curled into a smirk as he leaned in to kiss your neck. Your startled gasp only served to fuel his desire. “Let me have this,” Dabi said with a chuckle. Fuck – you were cute like this. That bright blush dusting your cheeks enchanted him. It was just what the doctor ordered to get rid of this uncomfortable feeling in his guts. “Kinda feel like shit after talking about it. Can’t we have some fun?”

As he spoke, Dabi rolled his hips, grinding himself up into your body. With each deliberate motion, you could feel his cock hardening in his pants as it brushed against your inner thigh. Guiding you to move along with him to create more friction, Dabi firmly planted his hands on your waist and tugged. This wasn’t how normal people dealt with their emotions – you wanted to tell him that, but Dabi had a way of overwhelming your senses. You wanted this too. If it brought him comfort – why would you refuse? You let out a soft moan, unable to think of much else with Dabi’s hard cock prodding at your clothed sex. 

“Yeah, that’s it…that’s a pretty noise,” he praised. “Make me feel s’good. Faster, baby.”

You didn’t need more encouragement. His husky, broken voice was all it took for you to pick up the pace. With both of your hands clasped onto his shoulders, you shifted your weight to get a better angle. Dabi groaned out as you rocked your hips against him. You sounded so sweet – panting heavily in the crook of his neck as you struggled to catch your breath. It was driving him insane. He watched the edge of his shirt ride up your thighs and quickly moved his hands to the next exposed skin. Your thighs were so soft and warm. Perfect in every way. Every inch Dabi was allowed to touch was a blessing to his senses. The way your skin molded itself to his palm as he squeezed down, spilling in between his fingers, was mesmerizing. He didn’t know you could blush all over until he saw your thighs come alive with color. It was beautiful. You were gorgeous – grinding against his lap just for him. Doing your damndest to make him feel good. Dabi figured he ought to return he favor. You were doing so well. Moaning and gasping for air from just this over-the-clothes shit. It made him wonder what it would feel like to plunge his cock into your aching cunt.

Fuck – entertaining that fantasy only spurred him on more. Dabi was gonna ruin you. Make you take his cock until the only word you remembered was his name. Pound that pussy until it permanently remembered the shape of him, molded to him to be a perfect fit.

Dabi pulled you in – doubling his own efforts to grind up into you. “You’re gonna make me cum like this…you hear me? I’m gonna cum in these pants if you keep doing that. That’s how fucking horny I am – what you do to me. I can’t wait to fuck you stupid. Have you choking on my cock with that pretty, sassy little mouth of yours. Always talking shit. I bet you suck dick real good.”

The absolute filth that poured from his lips had your cheeks flaring up. You whined as your eyes zoned in on the wet stain permeating his jeans. A mixture of your own slick soaking through your panties and Dabi’s pre-cum leaking from the tip of his cock. He was twitching wildly every time your desperate voice rang into his ear. The very sight of it shot a wave of arousal directly into your core. You lost control of your voice then – moaning and crying out for him. Dabi’s eyes widened as you threw your head back in pure ecstasy. 

“Shit – that’s hot. Yeah, keep it going,” he groaned out, bucking his hips with each word. “Keep it going, keep it g– Oh, fuck.” You watched Dabi’s eyes roll back – a shudder rocking through his entire body. The stain on his pants grew larger as his seed plastered itself against the fabric, some of it even leaking through to the other side. All you could do was beg mindlessly as you rubbed yourself against him. His slick went everywhere. Sticking to your bare thighs. Soaking into the cotton of your underwear, staining the base of your panties. You were so goddamn close.

“Dabi – please – I can’t –”

A scream ripped through the air – but it wasn’t your pleasured voice that interrupted your begging. You froze, a desperate moan dying on your tongue as you turned toward the source with pure, icy-cold horror running through your veins. 

“Tomuraaaaaaaaaaaaaa –” Toga stood just a few feet away in the doorway to Dabi’s room, with the door wide open and a deranged, toothy grin on her lips. She cast her voice down the hall at full volume, alerting the entire League of what she had found. “(Y/n) is back and she’s fucking Dabi!”

In the distance, you could Shigaraki’s voice rising up above a chorus of chatter: “Pay up Spinner, you owe me a 20.”

A/N: Toga 🤝 Me, cockblocking you (: Is this the literary equivalent of edging? I reckon so. I did say this was a slow burn, didn't I? Hope you enjoyed a little taste of what is to come in the (ahem) climax of the story.

Taglist: @kelin-is-writing @dynamars @dabislittlemouse @simpysheep @ohnoitsthatonekid @tonysttank

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[randomsufff]

Ok idk how to start this but, DBH fandom- there should be more Connor and Simon friendship fics.

Like- don’t get me wrong I love all the fics where Connor joins the Jeri-crew but, for some reason, I feel like Post-Deviant Connor would really get along with Simon specifically . I tried to think of a reason why (other than bc they’re my two favorite characters) and I think it’s because they’re so similar- but also like… ever so slightly diffrent.

They both (again- thinking Deviant Connor) care about others and are nice, and have a placid, international innocent look about them (Simon cause he’s a caretaker android and Connor cause he said it was to appeal to others) and yet they’re both incredibly stubborn and very much capable of violence. However, I think Simon tends to see violence as a very, very last resort while I feel like Connor would be a little more quick to resorting to violence if the situation warrants it.

And Simon is capable of violence! He’s a stubborn piece of shit about his ideals! Side rant bout Simon’s fandom characterization; despite how he’s sometimes depicted- Simon is not some “soft UwU boy who stumbles over his words constantly (EspEciAlly if MARKUS is around hu hu hu *wink wink*) and likes to take care of everyone ✨ by being an overbearing, smothering mother ” (I hate when he’s reduced down to that) Just because he’s nice and empathetic doesn’t mean he’s a weak, push over. I mean, hell, dude kept Jericho standing for who knows how many years. He had to insist AND UPHOLD the rule that they don’t leave the ship. Dude straight up wields a gun and kills people if you go the violent route. He obviously doesn’t like it- and any times he promoted to hurt people it usually fails (Thinking of trying to attack the first 2 guards at Stanford or taking the L during the March) but he does it if he’s pushed into it! And he’s headstrong too! Not some weakling who can’t think for himself. Just because he follows Markus’ ruling- dosent mean he’s some pathetic simp who’s only doing it cause it Markus the one who saying it (ok maybe it’s a little bit that- but he’s their leader! He calls the big shots. No duh he’s going to do as he says because he’s the one who gets final say!) I’m pretty sure if you choice the violent route he’ll push back at every turn and he’s soooooooo snappy to the others if Markus is kicked off cause he really thought he would help them. And while I know there are some great , 3D interpretations of Simon- there are quite a bit that, while not to the extreme that I said, tend to flatten Simon to either being just “caring” or “anxious”. And while a lot of his character is caring and anxious, it’s not ALL of it, and there’s that whole other side to him that you’re missing!!! Give him a mf backbone!

Anyway rant over, why Simon specifically as a friend and not the others- well I feel like Simon’s the type of guy who is so easy to befriend and get along with. He’s also, as I mentioned before this long rant, very similar to Connor in personality. Being split between his Machine coding and new Deviancy- I feel like Simon’s also the perfect middle to comfort him and be the friend that man desperately needs.

I don’t know how to explain why I feel this, genuinely! In my opinion/hc, I feel like after the revelation and everything, if Connor were to go back up to the Jeri-crew and try to befriend them: North might try to make niceties since he helped them in the end, but it’ll take a whillllleeee and a lot of effort to break down her defenses. Josh and Markus will try harder to be friendly, but ultimately treat it very businesslike and orderly- cause to them, Connor was more like an ally they gained in the heat of battle then a friend they made. Contrary to belief I feel like Markus wouldn’t extent an offer for Connor to join their crew as one of the leaders. He’s literally an outsider who BROKE in. He had to talk him through breaking his deviancy so he wouldn’t shoot him. He joined the cause at the very, very end. If anything, he’d see Connor as one among the many of their people who helped fight for their freedom (similar to the guy you turn in the Cyberlife supply run)- not a personal, close friend. And Josh, though not thinking of Connor as “one of his people” cause he’s not the head leader, still wouldn’t exactly be eager to befriend Connor. I feel like Josh’s pacifism and Connor’s ruthlessness would clash too much? Sure they’d hang out- but it more of a surface level friendship where’d the offer to grab a metaphorical drink or something is made but never really followed up on. But Simon- if anything I feel like Simon would be the one to check up on Connor and see how he’s doing. Having being deviant the longest, and therefore the wisest and more in tune with his feelings, I think Simon would emphasize and understand the chaotic circumstances of his awakening and try to befriend him genuinely.

All this to say- I need more Connor and Simon being friends. I need Simon to be friends with Connor separately from the group (Cause let’s be honest- he’s so sick of North and Joshs content fighting on that ship bro needs a not of a break). I need them to be kind to each other but also have a snarky, sarcastic relationship, where they both can give as much as they can take. I needed this so bad, I’ve actually come up with a little fic idea for how this supposed friendship would start.

And because this post is already so long- I’m putting it under the cut- but here’s the tagline- Connor and Simon befriend each other but the whole world thinks they’re dating (and they’re really, really not)

So it’s set after the Pacifist and Deviant Connor ending. The Jericho 4 has spread out to tackle the post- revolution issues. Markus and North head to DC to tackle the law making side, Josh travels out around the state/ to nearby cities to set up and help other Deviants while Simon stays in Detroit to help those there.

Simon- being lowkey sad and lost that his teammates spread out, head out for a walk in the snowy dark at like 3am. He’s not exactly a leader in the way Markus is, so he’s struggling with all the attention and pressure it takes to essentially govern a whole city of people. Of course he’s also feeling a bit lonely since everyone there treats him like a god or celebrity. Sure the little gang that he “lead” before Markus is close with him but they’re all out exploring their new freedom. And of the few new androids friends that he’s made, there’s always that feeling of never being able to truly connect with him- some wall he can’t quite break.

While he’s walking he stumbles upon Connor- sitting in the park, Sumo in hand, very lost in thought. Having never interacted much during or even after the whole revolution (since there was so much to do immediately) Simon tentatively walks up and says hi, asks what he’s doing out here at 3am. Gets asked the same thing, and eventually said be needed to clear his head with Connor relating. Eventually it’s revealed that Connor’s also feeling lost and lonely, being the only deviant to stay with the police department. Took a lot of fighting in between Hank and Fowler but eventually he was able to join as a consultant? Some other volunteer position cause he can’t technically get paid (and if he did- what would he spend it on? The food he dosent need to eat? At the abandoned Cyberlife store whose supplied are already being ransacked and distributed?) for now. He generally just hangs around the department with Hank for lack of anything better to do (for those of y’all who watched it- think of Psych with Connor as Shawn Spencer [now isn’t THAT a fic idea]). Not everyone is exactly friendly to him there, and it’s awkward to him to try to be friends with those who saw him as his machine, deviant-hunting self. Also Deviant Connor is socially aware and thus socially awkward so he’s not great at making friends- deviant or human wise.

Bla bla bla- after passing back and forth woes- Simon’s like: “you know what- you’re cool, let’s be friends- it’ll solve both our loner problems.” Very straightforward. Connor’s agrees agreeing stating the mutual benefits (getting to rant about android related problems/ general frustrations and being able to go out somewhere with someone when bored.)

They exchange com-links or numbers or whatever and it’s the start of a great friendship as they get into situations. The media eventually think Simon and Connor are dating cause they hang out so much and it’s the talk of all the media sources. They aren’t and never will (in my head at least- Connor my aroace icon. But this could also be a perfect Connor/Simon fic if that’s your thing) but despite that they keep getting into situations that make it look like they are. It’s very funny. Like Hank will be like “CONNOR! Are you dating…. one of the brutal leaders… of Jericho???” And Connor will be like- “No, Hank wtf” but then immediately accidentally fall into Simon’s arms after stumbling and they’re both like “Fucking RA9, we’re never beating these dating allegations huh.”

This could be a Gen Connor and Simon character study that’s disguised as a fic- but as a Markus/Simon girlie- to make it Markus/Simon- throw in Markus being lowkey jealous as he gets word of this- eventually deciding to come back to Detroit while North stays in DC after the biggest laws are finished being drafted. Cue funny ha ha situations and such. Personally- I don’t see Markus as being an outwardly, possessive jealous-type (as in- he’s not a guy who likes to admit and show he’s jealous) so his reactions to every new SituationTM Connor and Simon end up in is him going “oh… 😀🧍🫠” which I personally find really funny

Anyways- ending this off by saying I expect nothing by shouting all these fic ideas (and there will probably be more for other fandoms lol) and thoughts into the void- I just like sharing these specific scenarios that I make up cause I think other would like them. So maybe you too can also rotate these situations in your brain before you go to bed 😀👍

[limon-rat]

Fifteen-minute heartbreaker for the one and only @emthimofnight <3

(cw; sort of panic attacks? she's just very distraught)

~~~~~~

Waking up was weird.

Vaguely, Stellar knew she wasn’t asleep anymore. She heard breathing and maybe- maybe footsteps? Something like that.

But she didn’t want to wake up. Waking up meant she felt awful again but why- why did she feel awful? Why did her body hurt- She didn’t really remember. That was a bad sign, huh? Maybe she should wake up, Papa said she shouldn’t sleep if she hit her head, that it was a bad idea. If she couldn’t remember then she probably had a concussion or something.

Yeah, she should wake up.

The ceiling was the first thing she saw. Then her ears flicked of their own accord, listening to the breathing again. It was right next to her, deep but definitely awake.

Mustering up as much strength as she could, Stellar tilted her head to the right, finding… her papa.

Papa was right next to her, sitting in one of the kitchen chairs. Did he drag one all the way to her room- No, no he didn’t. This was the living room and she was on the couch. How did she get here again?

“Papa..?” Her voice broke, weak and scratchy. Her throat hurt- Why’d it hurt again?

Papa shot up straight in his chair, his ears flicking toward her. His eyes found hers, taking a moment to search for them. He was anxious- She didn’t like that. He was protective but anxious wasn’t something she saw on him a lot- It was strange.

“Stellar! You’re awake-” Papa cut himself off, like he might start crying if he kept talking. It wasn’t right, seeing him so choked up- He didn’t do choked up.

“What-” She tried to voice her concern but she tried to sit up too and her vision flashed white-

Loud- Pain- Running- Why was she running? No, she was floating- Why would- Dad, he’s scared- Papa, Dad, they’re hurt- Camillia- Why is everyone hurt- How could she hurt them-

“Stellar?” Her papa’s hand on her shoulder snapped her back into her body.

Oh no.

Oh chaos she hurt them, how could she-

“I-I’m so sorry-” Stellar’s throat tried to collapse in on itself. Tears started pouring down her face in an instant, soaking uncomfortably into her quills- How could she hurt her family-

“Shh you’re okay. It’s alright.” Papa picked her up gently, her body flinching in protest as she fell into his chest- She doesn’t deserve this-

“I-I di-didn’t mean to-” She sobbed into his fur, her voice breaking painfully. Her chest burned, her body felt wrong and she couldn’t move- she couldn’t do anything but cry into her papa’s chest, her lungs heaving violently as she tried so desperately to breathe-

“I know sweetie.” Papa whispered gently, running his hand through her quills. She kept crying, practically wailing into him, barely muffled by his fur. She tried to hold him, to show she was sorry but she couldn’t move and everything burned.

She could’ve cried into him for years, apologizing over and over and over again as he just whispered sweet nothings to her, assuring her that it wasn’t her fault, that it’s okay now but it wasn’t it wasn’t okay she hurt him-

“‘M so so-orry.” She murmured again, her lungs finally grabbing onto a semblance of breathing.

“Don’t be, sweetheart. It’s alright now. We’re alright.” He repeated himself, now rocking them both slightly.

“I didn’t mean it-”

“Hey.” Papa cut her off this time, guiding her face to look at his. He… wasn’t upset. No, he looked- scared, maybe? Or worried? She couldn’t really tell, everything was far too blurry through her tears.

“I’m sorry that any of this happened,” He started, “I’m sorry you were taken, I’m sorry that you lost control. None of this was your fault, alright?”

“But-”

“No buts,” He cut her off again, now giving her a much more stern look, “you did nothing wrong, alright?”

“…Okay.” She mumbled reluctantly, looking away. She wanted to protest but now that she wasn’t sobbing her eyes out, her body felt heavy again. Is sleep a good idea? She must’ve hit her head-

“Good. Now sleep, sweetie,” Guess it is a good idea, “I’ll be right here.”

“Promise?” Stellar murmured, already feeling her eyes close against her will.

“I promise.” Papa’s voice was the last thing she heard before the darkness took her again, gentle and soft, like a hug.