#i just felt the need to vent a lil bit about this - i get what people are saying but whoa it comes across very rude and mean

[snekdood]

bitches prolly out here psychoanalyzing my old art on behalf of my abuser to cushion their belief that im a Horrible Person but then dont see the irony when I point out the shitty things my abuser has drawn and how I see it as clear evidence of their mindset and beliefs (of what's okay to do and how to treat people) descending and pairing that along with everything else they've done and it paints a clear picture of how this person got to the point of thinking it was okay to abuse me the way they did and then the people looking for reasons to hate me through my art will act like "they're just drawings !!!" about their art. which one is it. does someones art say something about them or not? or does it only say something about them if you hate them?

[sanakiras]

TIDAL WAVE OF LOVE

PAIRING — choi seungcheol x reader

WORD COUNT — 1.3k

SYNOPSIS — even the strongest of people break sometimes. you’re used to hiding your feelings; your boyfriend is there for you when everything gets too much.

TAGS — angst, self-esteem issues, fear of failure, mc has a bit of a breakdown :(( but also a lil comfort

NOTE — cleaning out the drafts bc i have too many 😭 this is wayyyy shorter than my usual works but i still felt like posting it <3 i had a very stressful semester in uni before the summer break and i came across this video on twt of coups giving wonwoo a little comforting squeeze which i found very endearing sooo that kinda became the inspo for this!

the moment he calls out a greeting to you from his kitchen, you close your eyes for a moment. it would’ve probably been wiser to have gone home instead of his place.

you greet him the same way, hoping he doesn’t hear the crack in your voice.

“how was your day?” he asks you once he’s returned to the living room, giving you a kiss.

you press your lips together. “fine. nothing special.”

the first thing he notices is the lack of eye contact you make with him. you’re also being considerably less touchy with him than usual, which he finds strange.

“everything okay?”

“yeah.” you put up a smile that doesn’t appear genuine in the slightest.

he figures you could just be in a bad mood — but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

he knows for a fact that it’s not with the way you’re trying real hard to hide your face from him. you only do that when you’re upset about something.

“baby, talk to me.”

“about what?”

the response comes out snappier than you meant it to. you two have been together quite a while — so he’s come to know that you tend to get a little colder and distant before the dam breaks.

you look at him so briefly to the point where he’d miss the motion if he blinked. the expression equals a silent apology.

of course he always does his best to give you whatever space you need. that being said, he’s also come to know you get into your own head a lot, and sometimes there’s someone who needs to pull you out of it.

you bite your lip in a pathetic attempt to hold back your tears. “it’s fine, cheol, just let it go.”

“well, i care about you, sweetheart. what’s going on?” he’s persistent but gentle about it. you have a habit of keeping your feelings to yourself and hardly ever letting anything out, which leads to everything just piling up and making things worse.

“i don’t wanna talk about it.”

the lump in your throat begins to rise.

“i can see that, but you’ve clearly got something you need off your chest. are you okay?”

you don’t show anyone when something’s wrong unless they mention it first. and even when they do, you’re hesitant.

it’s an exhausting way to live, but you still choose to do so.

it’s one of the reasons why you hate crying. your glossy eyes always betray you.

then you make — what you consider to be — the mistake of looking into his big, worried eyes once more, and you just completely fall apart in front of him.

the tears begin to flow before you can even comprehend it.

“it’s just—god, i don’t even know why i’m so fucking emotional, i just—” your breath shudders, the mildly angry expression that was previously on your face now nowhere to be found, “everything’s been so stressful recently, and i’m scared i won’t pass my classes, and i feel like such a slow learner compared to everyone else—”

he’s rubbing your back, just allowing you to you let everything out. he keeps quiet.

“i feel fucking fragile. and weak. every little thing is just too much right now. i’m sorry, i feel stupid.”

he lets you cry into his chest as his arms are wrapped around you, one hand softly rubbing the back of your head. “don’t feel stupid, baby. you can vent to me, always.”

the sound of your heavy sobs hurt him, because he feels like you’re always so hard on yourself, but he’s glad you’re releasing them. it’s healthier to let it all out than to keep it in.

“it’s just like i can’t breathe, y’know?” you mutter in the crook of his neck, subconsciously wetting his shirt with your tears, “i can’t take a single break ‘cause i’ll fall behind. i’m so tired. i feel like i’m not even smart enough to take the damn course, let alone pass the fucking test—”

once he feels like you’re about to start hyperventilating, he moves back to let him look at you. “long breaths. you’re okay, just breathe with me.”

he purposefully takes long, deep breaths, counting the seconds out loud to guide you, and it works. your breathing is steadying bit by bit, sobs faltering, melting into soft hiccups and numbness.

with dried tears and a slightly hoarse voice, you let out a sigh. “i just hate feeling so incompetent. for once, i’d love to feel smart. i wanna feel like i’m able to keep up as well as everyone else does, y’know? i’m… i’m procrastinating everything and i don’t know how to change it. it all sucks.”

“it’s not easy, baby. don’t be too hard on yourself.” he presses a swift kiss to your skin, and you hold him tighter, as if he were to slip out of your hold if you didn’t.

“it’s not easy for me. it is for them.”

“there’s nothing wrong with that. would you think differently if someone in your class had to put more effort into passing the course? you wouldn’t, right? because at the end of the day, you both make it to the finish line. that’s what matters.”

deep down, you know he has a point. you put the pressure so high on yourself, yet don’t apply the same logic to your peers.

you don’t really understand why.

“and you say it’s easy for them, but i know for sure that they put more effort into it than you might think. trust me. you’ll get to where you want to be, one way or another. if you take a little longer to do that than a classmate, who cares. it’s your life. i know you’ve worked so hard—” he twirls a strand of your hair between his fingers, “even if you don’t pass that class now, it won’t be the end of the world, and there’ll be another chance. you’ll get there.”

now there’s just a few last tears running down your cheeks. “except i’m worried that i won’t.”

“you will. and once you do, you’ll be happy that you got to that point because you worked hard and deserve that success. if not today, then tomorrow. yeah?”

you take a deep breath, exhaling slowly, the last shudders of your breakdown bubbling to the surface as your heart rate finally slows back to normal. “yeah. thank you.”

to show your gratitude, you give him a hug, which he happily embraces, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“anytime. i’m here for you.”

even the strongest of people break — but they can still pick up the pieces and start over.

do your best (but maybe not sometimes) <3

® SANAKIRAS — do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.

[mynahx3]

CAN I REQUEST SOME HEADCANNONS OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT OF CHOSO, NANAMI, AND GOJO HELPING THE READER GET THROUGH A BREAKUP

LMAO It's finally here! This took me way longer than needed. So sorry for the wait, I hope you enjoy! Made HC and a lil fic with Choso, Nanami, and Gojo

Choso

Def think Choso would be standoffish at first but would be a good friend once he gets closer, someone you could talk to about things easily. 

Wouldn’t know how to talk to you or what to do when you were upset but he would be genuine. 

Choso might not be vocal but he would notice how distant you acted the last couple of weeks, not as open, more closed off now. 

He wouldn’t know how to approach you right away but he would definitely be one of the first people to notice. 

Begins to slyly ask people around what's wrong, ending up asking Yuji who tells him what happened. 

Immediately goes to your place, even if it’s dark

Choso knocked on your door urgently with panting breath; he had run from Jujutsu Tech, and it was now almost midnight. He became anxious once he realized the time; he was afraid you might be asleep and had rushed over without a second thought. His heart beats loudly in his chest, waiting for you to answer the door. Thoughts raced through his mind, wondering what excuse he could give for showing up at your door late at night without warning.

After hearing that you had found your boyfriend cheating on you with a close friend and then dumped you, he rushed over. Anger filled him at the thought of someone hurting you like this. You showered your ex-boyfriend with love and acceptance, yet he never reciprocated. Offering excuse after excuse for that man to improve his treatment of you.

One day, while you were venting on a phone call about your toxic ex, Yuuji overheard and informed Choso about the breakup. His brother grew close to you as you helped mentor him by overseeing the missions of first-year students at times.

Having grown close to you over time, Choso had heard some of your complaints about him firsthand. He had his own thoughts on your relationship but remained quiet out of respect for you.

Over the course of knowing you, Choso has grown to admire you. Your strength as a sorcerer and your unwavering kindness towards others had captured his heart. He knew he couldn't stand the thought of you suffering alone. These feelings confused him in the beginning; he had only felt this love for his brothers to that extent. You weren't family, and yet he felt drawn to protect you. When he talked to his little brother about his feelings—wanting to hold you from the world, wanting to be there for you closer—his brother simply smiled, telling him it sounded like he had a crush.

At this realization, Choso began to understand that his feelings for you went beyond mere admiration and protection. He was falling in love with you, and it both thrilled and terrified him. Your relationship did deter him from confessing, but he couldn't deny the growing affection he felt for you. Choso knew he needed to confront his feelings and decide whether to take the risk of revealing them to you.

Coming back to reality, he saw your lights turned on inside. Taking a deep breath, he waited for you to open the door.

You peeked out with sleepy eyes and messy hair, dressed in a faded shirt and sweatpants, giving him a confused look. To him, you were absolutely adorable. The redness in your eyes and the faint traces of tears on your cheeks caught his attention before his mind could process your appearance.

"Choso, why are you here?" Your voice was raspy, and your lips were slightly cracked and dry. It looked like you had been crying a bit and had just woken up.

"I-I" He stammered, unable to find an excuse as his voice stuck in his throat, and his dark eyes avoided contact in his nervousness. "I heard what happened; I wanted to check on you."

You visibly looked shocked. Feeling a wave of mixed emotions crashing over you, caught off guard by his unexpected gesture of concern. As he shifted uncomfortably, the gravity of the moment settled heavily on both of you.

"I'm sorry if I'm intruding," he added softly, hoping to convey his genuine concern for you.

"No, I appreciate it, Cho." You smiled, trying to reassure him, grateful for his presence during a difficult time. You stepped to the side to let him in. The chill of the night air crept into your apartment. "Get in here; it's cold out."

His eyes softened at your response, a flicker of relief crossing his face before he nodded in understanding. Walking in, he took his shoes off, slipping into the guest slippers you offered.

After multiple invitations, this was his first visit to your residence; it fit you. The place appeared worn-out and cozy, with small trinkets strewn about. Your personality showed in your decoration choice, making him feel more at ease. In a hurry, you clean the kitchen counter that was cluttered with dishes from your dinner earlier.

"Sorry about the mess," you apologized, feeling a bit embarrassed. You hadn't been keeping up with your cleaning as of late due to your lack of energy and busy schedule. He waved it off with a smile, appreciating your hospitality regardless of the state of your home.

"Don't worry about it. I'm the one that came out of nowhere."

Moving to your living room, you both sit in an awkward silence on the couch, the soft glow of the lamp casting a warm ambiance. The tension slowly dissipates as you relax in each other's company as the conversation flows naturally with him.

"I know this is sudden." He starts getting to the reason for his unexpected visit, fiddling with his hands. "I heard what happened and was worried about you."

You sat close to him, still smiling, as you tried to convince him you were fine. Choso felt his heart race more. This was the closest he's ever been to you alone. It felt different than being at the school—a good different.

"I'm not familiar with human relations, but… I could tell you were not yourself lately." Choso's words are hesitant, but his concern is genuine. You appreciate his honesty and the effort he's making to connect with you on a personal level. You nodded to him, laughing a little at his awkwardness.

"I guess I've been out of it. I appreciate you checking in on me," you reply, feeling grateful for his presence. Choso smiles softly, relieved that he was able to express his concern for you.

"I just wanted to make sure you knew that I'm here for you if you ever need someone to talk to."

"Coming in the middle of the night was… sudden, but it means a lot to me." You say it with a laugh at his unexpected visit. "Talking would be nice, actually. Want some snacks first?"

Choso nods, eager to continue the conversation over some snacks. You both head to the kitchen, grateful for the opportunity to bond and share a moment of connection.

Hours slipped by unnoticed as you engaged in a heartfelt conversation with Choso, delving deep into your thoughts and emotions over steaming mugs of tea and a plate of cookies. With each word shared, a sense of relief washed over you, lightening the burden on your shoulders. Choso listens attentively as you speak, his eyes empathetic. You vented about how your ex-boyfriend dismissed your concerns and belittled your feelings, brushing off the warning signs you desperately tried to address. You hesitated to speak up further, fearing that your ex would accuse you of being a jealous partner.

"I just wish I didn't let him walk all over me like that." You sniffle, wiping your eyes. Choso reaches out and places a comforting hand on yours, offering a reassuring smile.

"You possess a strength within you that shines even in moments of vulnerability," he says softly, his words a gentle balm to your wounded spirit, offering the support and understanding you craved.

"Pfft, yeah, right." You laugh, rolling your eyes at him. "I was so stupid. I thought he'd change or realize how much he was hurting me, but nothing I did was good enough."

Firmly, he takes both of your hands, capturing your attention.

"Do not say that about yourself. He was the one who hurt you after everything you had done for him. It was his fault; not yours. You deserve more than that dick who betrayed your trust. You are incredible; he didn't see it."

His words took you by surprise; he wasn't one to swear much or get so passionate without reason, usually remaining quiet. Squeezing his hands back, you smiled at him, feeling a warmth in your chest at his unexpected outburst of support.

"Thank you," you whispered, grateful for his words and the comfort they brought.

"You possess a strength beyond measure," he said softly, his eyes brimming with sincerity. With a gentle touch, he brushed away your tears, cradling your face tenderly. "You deserve far more than the way he mistreated you. You deserve to be cherished and valued for the amazing person you are."

"It's odd, but… I feel relieved after all this. It felt like our relationship was over months ago. I just didn't have the guts to end it myself." You sigh, leaning into his hand that cupped your face, as you contemplate the newfound clarity in your heart. It was a bittersweet realization.

Choso nodded, his movements slow and deliberate, scooting closer to you on the couch. "I'm glad you feel that way."

Looking at him, time seemed to slow, his eyes looking between your lips and back up looking into your eyes. The two of you slowly lean closer, unspoken words hanging in the air between you. 

“I just… I care about you.” He said, his voice almost a whisper, as he got lost in you. Taking in your beauty this close was amazing to him. “A lot, actually.” 

You lean in closer to him, putting a finger on his lips to stop his stammering. His cheeks tinted a light pink from your proximity. You had a hunch that he had some feelings for you. You, yourself, had felt a blooming attraction to him but tried to push it down because your boyfriend, now ex. Choso, was always attentive to you on missions, keeping you safe, and making sure you were okay. With nothing else holding you back, you decided to take a plunge. 

“You care about me?” You ask, a teasing tone to your voice. Thumb tracing his bottom lips in thought at your next actions. ”Want to show me how much?”

Without hesitation, he breaks the distance between you both. As your lips finally met, you could tell he was inexperienced. His hands didn’t know where to go, almost scrambling before settling on your waist. Your hands went into his hair, tangling in his black, soft locks as you guided him in the kiss, teaching him with each movement. The initial awkwardness melted away as he began to respond, his lips moving in sync with yours, a silent promise of learning and growing together.

The kiss started tentatively, with a soft and gentle meeting of lips that conveyed innocence and curiosity. In that moment of shared vulnerability, you both embarked on a journey of exploration and intimacy, marking the start of a new and thrilling chapter in your relationship.

As the kiss breaks, your foreheads rest together, smiles playing on your lips at the sweetness of the moment. Choso's face was a bright red in the realization that it was his first kiss; he couldn't be happier that it was with you.

"I've been wanting to do that for a long time," he whispers, his deep voice filled with emotion, caressing your face.

"Please, do it again," you say, your voice filled with longing and anticipation.

Choso leans in for another kiss, this time more confident and passionate, as if he had been waiting for your request. The second kiss lingers longer, the depth of his emotions evident in the tender caress of his lips against yours. After breaking the kiss again, you laugh and hug each other tightly. This moment marks the beginning of a new chapter in your relationship, a chapter filled with promise and affection. 

Nanami

You two have known each other since highschool but lost touch after graduating. 

Reunited with you in your 20s, you were still a sorcerer. 

Never liked your ex when you brought him around to hangouts after work. 

Noticed how you were always dismissed when talking or flat out ignored by him. . 

Sees that you’re depressed after your BF of 3 years broke up with you suddenly only to get with someone shortly after. 

Wouldn’t confess his feelings right away so you could focus on healing yourself first

Show his support through acts of service but never out right calling you out on your different mood. 

Had feelings for you for a long time but didn’t act on them due to the both of you being sorcerers

Nanami walked alongside you, occasionally glancing sideways, his heart fluttering with each step. Tonight, he decided to finally confess to you after years of yearning for you.

He never acted on his emotions before due to the history of your old relationship. The breakup was a nasty one that left you feeling hurt and broken. Your ex left you suddenly with no real reason after almost three years together. Shortly after, he was seen with another woman, leaving you feeling betrayed and devastated.

It had been almost a year since then, in which he remained by your side as a friend. He ensured your well-being and helped gradually rebuild you into a healthier you.

For months, Nanami quietly supported you in your weakest moments.

Checking in on you frequently, as well as walking you home almost every day, became part of his routine. You barely ate after the breakup, which led to significant weight loss. Because he cared about you, he frequently prepared or offered to buy you lunch. Your energy and color made their way back as you slowly started to heal, and he couldn't keep his feelings hidden any longer, especially due to recent events.

Just a few days ago, you had gone on a mission, one that risked your life greatly. With luck by your side, you made it to Shoko in time, getting healed like nothing had occurred. Despite the pain of the past, Nanami couldn't ignore his feelings any longer and knew he had to take a chance on confessing his love to you. The fear of losing you was too great to keep silent any longer.

Gaining courage, he broke the comfortable silence between the two of you. The streets of Tokyo were quiet this time of night, creating a serene atmosphere.

"You know, you scared me the other day." He stated this, looking at you. His warm brown eyes could be seen because he was not wearing normal sunglasses.

You wince at him, shaking your head at the mention of it, looking up towards him.

Nanami had rushed to the infirmary when he heard the news, grateful to find you laughing in bed with Shoko by your side. You were fine, with the exception of a few scratches, one of which was still on your cheek and was covered with a bandage now.

"Yeah, I was scared for a second too." You admit rubbing the back of your neck with a sheepish smile on your lips. "Things got a little crazy, but I managed to get out."

"I'm glad you're okay," he says, his eyes reflecting genuine concern and a small smile playing on his lips. "Next time, be more careful, please."

A frog felt like it had settled in his throat, making it hard to speak. He wasn't one to normally let his feelings get the better of him, but in this moment, he felt like a teenager all over again. Before he could speak, you broke the silence.

"Thank you, Nanami. I appreciate you checking in on me; you didn't have to." You say this, nudging him playfully with your shoulder as you walk.

As you both passed a nearby ramen shop, it served as a reminder to him that you were almost at your apartment. He needed to act fast before he lost his nerve.

"Regardless. Who would I be if I didn't come check on you? I care about you." His tone was gentle as he asked, a departure from his usual stoic demeanor.

You smiled at his words, feeling grateful for his presence in your life.

Nanami remained by your side, forcing you to work out with him and helping clean your apartment when you were at your worst. He was always there for you, even when you didn't ask. His actions spoke volumes about the depth of his care and concern for you.

Slowly, you felt your feelings for him begin to shift from gratitude to something deeper, something that made your heart flutter whenever he was near. It was a realization that maybe, just maybe, there was more to your relationship than just friendship. Apart from that, you were too scared to admit it, afraid of ruining the friendship you cherished so much. Deciding to bury your feelings deep down instead.

As you approached your apartment building, you felt disheartened. Your time with him was going to come to an end soon.

"Well, I'll make sure to cook you a nice meal to thank you for being such a good friend," you said with a grin, already planning your way of showing appreciation.

You experimented with different foods and cooked often, making it a new pastime of yours. You discovered your passion for baking through this endeavor, so you surprised him with his favorite bread when you felt he was feeling down or worn out. It was your way of reciprocating the kindness he always showed you.

He chuckled, the sound making your heart flutter as you both walked up the steps to your building, filled with joy. Shaking his head at that, he said, "You don't have to. It was more so for my heart than anything. Scare me again like that, and I might not recover."

Your hearty laugh fills the air as you reach the top of the steps, grateful for his presence in your life.

"You'd be fine without me."

"I highly doubt that," he replied, flashing you a warm smile.

As you were caught in his eyes, your hand rested on the door handle, delaying your entry into the apartment lobby.

"Thank you for always being there for me," you tell him as you watch him step closer to you, holding your breath in anticipation.

"No need to thank me. I'll always be here for you."

You both locked in for a split second as you stood there. Neither of the two wanted to be apart from the other just yet. Taking a chance, Nanami made a brave move and approached you. He held your hand, asking you to stay for a moment. Words escape you as you nod, letting him talk.

Nanami looked nervous, something you've never seen before, as he contemplated what to say. The air is electric in your shared silence, both of you feeling the weight of unspoken words hanging between you. Finally, Nanami broke the silence with a heartfelt confession that left you speechless.

"I've come to realize I have feelings for you that go beyond friendship." He declared. "Would you do me the honor of letting me take you out on a date? Friday, at 7 p.m., I'll pick you up for dinner. What do you say?"

As your heart raced with anticipation, you eagerly nodded, a wide smile lighting up your face. His face relaxed, and he was clearly relieved that you accepted his invitation for a date. Smiling with you, he let his emotions take hold.

He cupped your face, your lips connecting in a soft, tender kiss that left you breathless. The world around you seemed to fade away as you both embraced one another. You gladly returned the affection that the two of you had lost in the moment of a long-awaited kiss. Your lips locked together passionately, his hold tight as if he never wanted to let you go. He kissed you in a way that left you wanting more, his lips expertly moving against yours with a sense of longing and passion.

Just as your lungs burned for air, he broke the kiss, a chuckle escaping his lips as he looked at your flushed face. Both of your lips are slightly pink and puffy from the intense kiss. His hands still cupped your face as he gazed at you with nothing but love in his eyes. His thumb rubbed on the bandage on your cheek, and his brows furrowed in concern.

"I apologize for the suddenness. I honestly believed I had lost you." He admitted it with a tenderness meant for you alone while gazing into your eyes. "I don't think... Should you disappear, I'm not sure what I would do. My world would fall apart, I fear."

His heartfelt words filled your heart with warmth and comfort. You tried to speak, but the weight of his confession in combination with the kiss left you speechless, with no words escaping your lips. Heat went to your face as your mind processed everything. You reached out and gently placed your hand on his cheek, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your touch. In that moment, you knew that his feelings were genuine and that you meant more to him than you had ever realized.

"You have me, and I'm not going anywhere. Not without a fight."

His eyes softened at your reassurance, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Looking down, he wanted to kiss you once more.

"I don’t doubt about that, sweetheart.”

As he leaned in for another kiss, you felt a sense of security and love envelope you, knowing that you had someone by your side who would always be there for you. With his lips against yours, you felt safe. 

Gojo

Met you when you were a new teacher at Jujutsu Tech when he just became one. 

You both quickly became close friends, he jokingly called you his work wife. 

100% would hear about your breakup in person cause you went to him first. 

Talks with you with wine at his place, letting you ugly cry a bit, eventually sadness turns to anger, which he encourages. (ex broke up with you because of the distance and didn't want to move)

Would suggest hooking up to get back at him as a joke but the night escalates

Starts as a rebound relationship to both of you catching feelings, hard. 

He starts only seeing you, ditches his other hookups and booty calls. 

Treats you like a queen, spoils you when he could and takes you on dates. 

Other people were shocked to hear you weren’t together but spend time together like you are

In the dimly lit room of his apartment, bathed in the soft glow of the moonlight filtering through the curtains, you lay on a bed under silk sheets, gazing out at the city below. The city lights twinkled in the night, offering a captivating view that evoked feelings of both insignificance and unity with the world around you. The soft sounds of traffic and distant chatter contributed to the serene atmosphere, easing you into a state of relaxation.

You were lost in thought until you felt the gentle touch of small kisses being peppered on your bare shoulder, drawing your attention to the culprit beside you. With a lazy grin, Satoru laid beside you, his eyes reflecting a mix of contentment and mischief as he propped his head up on his hands. He was just as bare under the sheets, flush next to you, love bites littering his pale chest, hair ruffled.

"What chu thinking of, gorgeous?" He asked, his tone as teasing as always, moving a strand of your hair from your face to behind your ear.

Sweat still covered your bodies in a sheen, proof of your intimate activities only moments ago. The warmth of his touch lingered on your skin, a reminder of the passion you both shared. Satoru's playful demeanor brought a genuine smile to your face, warming your heart with affection.

"Nothing much handsome." You leaned in to press a soft kiss against his lips, savoring the taste of him on your tongue. In that moment, all worries melted away as you basked in the afterglow of your time together.

The soft moonlight enveloped both of you, casting a gentle glow, while the stars above shimmered like distant diamonds in the night sky.

"Yeah, nothing, sure." He pouted, biting your shoulder, earning a yelp from you. Clingy as always.

"Stop it, Toru," you giggled, playfully swatting him away.

He only pressed himself more into your side, planting sloppy yet affectionate kisses along your face. The sound of his laughter filled the room—a sweet melody that you never wanted to end.

"Don't deny me! I know how much you can't get enough of me ," he teased, pulling you closer for another kiss.

Letting him kiss you, you couldn't help but smile at his playful antics. With the kiss over again, he begins to kiss down your neck. Your eyes look over to the side, seeing the time on the clock. With a groan of reluctance, you move to sit up, unknowingly missing the sad look in his eyes from your impending departure.

"I should start heading out; it's getting late."

Satoru's smile faltered for a moment before he masked it with a playful grin. Holding onto your wrist as you moved to get off the bed.

"Can't you stay just a little longer?" he pleaded, his eyes reflecting a hint of disappointment. A childish pout on his lips, azure eyes pleading with you to stay a little while longer.

Satoru, along with you, had long developed feelings, which breached your agreement to keep things casual. This was a relationship that only started as a rebound from your ex, who broke your heart for a stupid reason. Now you both wished for something more.

In all honesty, he had been treating you like his lover in every way but title, from taking you on frequent dates to showering you with gifts and affection. For the past few months, he has even avoided seeing his other hookups in favor of you.

Recently, you have been staying the entire night with him, or vice versa. Something you both knew crossed the line you agreed upon. You had grown so accustomed to each other that you kept each other's toothbrushes in your bathrooms and your clothes in your respective places.

Even the sex had changed into something more intimate.

He would always check on you after, so much so that your aftercare had become a ritual. He took the time to cuddle with you or talk about your day, showing a level of care and consideration that went beyond just physical attraction. An arm was always wrapped around you as the two of you fell asleep.

It was a stark contrast to how things were in the beginning, with one of you leaving right after intimacy without a second thought. He clearly valued you as more than just a casual fling, but the conversation about defining the relationship had yet to happen.

Waiting for your response, Satoru gently brushed a strand of hair away from your face, his eyes searching yours for any sign of what you were feeling. The unspoken question hung in the air, heavy with tension, creating a palpable sense of anticipation that neither of you seemed ready to address just yet.

"I would like that." You say, avoiding his gaze, feeling a bit shy at the admission. Your heart fluttering nervously in anticipation of his response.

Satoru's face breaks into a warm smile, his eyes lighting up with happiness as he pulls you into a tight, reassuring embrace, conveying his genuine joy. You melted in his arms for a moment, your brows furrowed as you thought of your relationship with him.

"Can we actually talk about something?" You ask, wanting to address the elephant in the room now rather than later.

Satoru nods, his expression turning serious as he leans back to get a better look at you. His eyes lock onto yours as he gives you his full attention. He was serious for a change, knowing the conversation was important to you from the tone of your voice.

After gaining courage, you finally speak. "I wanted to talk about us."

Satoru's eyes soften, a hint of concern crossing his features as he waits for you to continue. You take a deep breath, knowing that this conversation could change everything between you two.

"What… What are we, Satoru?" Looking up at him, your eyes wavered, scared of what his answer would be.

Satoru's gaze held yours, his silence weighing heavily in the air as he carefully chose his words. Finally, he spoke softly, "I care about you deeply, but I understand if you need more clarity on where we stand."

Your heart raced, waiting for his next words to determine the fate of your relationship.

"Do you mean that we're just friends, or is there something more between us?" You ask, your voice small yet determined, betraying a mix of apprehension and resolve.

"I want us to be more than friends, if you're willing to take that step with me." Satoru's expression softened, and he reached out to gently hold your hand.

You hold his hand back, a little tighter than his grip, shaking from your anxiety. Your heart swelled with hope and anticipation, realizing that this conversation was indeed a pivotal turning point for both of you, a moment that could change the course of your relationship forever.

"Really?" You ask, disbelief in your tone, thinking your ears are deceiving you.

Satoru smiles warmly, nodding in affirmation. Your fears begin to melt away as you feel a newfound sense of courage and excitement for what the future may hold for your relationship.

"I care about you lots, babe. I want to see where this could go," he said softly, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on the back of your hand. Your fears began to melt away as you felt a sense of warmth and possibility enveloping you both. 

Kissing you once more, he crawls over you. One hand held your face, the other moving your legs around his waist. Feeling envigored after your talk, you eagerly reciprocate, feeling a newfound sense of connection and passion between you both. The future suddenly seemed brighter and more promising than ever before. 

Laying in bed, you couldn't be more happy to have him in your life, even with the rough beginnings. 

He slept peacefully beside you, tired after more rounds together, now as an official couple. His features made him look angelic in the soft glow of the moonlight streaming through the window, and you couldn't help but feel a surge of gratitude for this man who had brought so much light into your life. As you drifted off to sleep, you knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you would face them together, hand in hand. 

Dividers by @rookthornesartistry

[boydepartment]

Hi I lover ur last fic so I wanted to request one too! Can I request a Sunghoon comfort fic Where he’s been having a really rough week and reader does her best to cheer him up but it’s not working because he’s so upset so she lets him cry it out and vent to her 🥲💖

on it my dear! i apologize for this being a lil late <3 thank you for requesting!

Broken Skate- Sunghoon x Gn! Reader

MASTERLIST warnings- angst, comfort wc- 650

Sunghoon was having a really bad week. He couldn’t get his body to move right during practice, he always got home late, and you were already asleep by the time he laid next to you, then when he woke up you were already gone to work. He was upset all the time, he wanted to be around you, but he just couldn’t make up the time. When he had time for himself, he decided to go to the ice rink, he thought that it would ease stress and you were still at work, so he had some time to kill.

That was a horrible idea.

Right when he got on the ice, he knew something was off about the rink, it wasn’t his usual rink either. When he tried to do a small spin, he slipped and fell. Sunghoon looked down in horror to see part of his skate broken. These were the skates he has had for years and yeah it was an easy fix however it was an inconvenience. An inconvenience on top of many inconveniences. He took a deep breath and got off the rink quickly. He didn’t want to be upset in front of people, so he went straight home.

“SURPRISE! I knew you had the day off, so I took a half day!” You jumped on him, he smiled then it faded.

“Sunghoon?” You asked and looked up at him, your head cocked to the side. He looked at you and just engulfed you in a hug. He dropped his bag next to both of you and just held onto you. Sunghoon was trying so hard not to breakdown. He didn't deserve you.

“I’m sorry…” He mumbled into your hair. You were confused, did he do something bad? You always knew he was busy, and it didn’t bother you. It meant everything to you when you woke up and he was sleeping soundly next to you. You didn’t mind that he was busy a lot.

“Baby… Why?” You asked and led him to sit down with you on the loveseat.

“I had a bad week, and I can’t even see you half the time.” He leaned over with his head in his hands, “I feel like a bad boyfriend. I don't even know how your week was.”

You put your hand on his back and rubbed back and forth, “baby you are not a bad boyfriend at all, I understand that you’re busy.” Sunghoon really wasn’t a bad boyfriend at all, he paid for most of the bills and showered you with anything you wanted. The only reason why you have a job is so you can have your own spending money so you can surprise him from time to time. Sunghoon really took care of you, seeing him like this broke your heart.

“I am. I can never see you.” You heard his voice crack.

“Even when you’re busy I will still love you, I know what I was getting into when I was dating you. I love you and I always will, busy or not.” You rubbed his back more and he leaned into you. He felt hopeless. You combed your fingers through his hair as he cried.

“I broke my skate too.”

You hummed listening to his week, you felt so upset, “I will go get it fixed tomorrow baby, okay?”

Sunghoon nodded and sniffled a bit, he hated breaking down like this in front of you. But he needed you more than anything right now.

“I can’t figure out the new dance either…” He mumbled and played with your pajama pants.

“Maybe you should take the day off tomorrow…” You mumbled, he leaned into your touch.

Sunghoon nodded, “I will… I love you so much.”

“I love you more.”

[depressofiasco]

Peng x Mortal! Reader Headcanons

They/Them pronouns for Peng and reader.

Fluff! But Peng is also a lil toxic lol. I love this bird and I need more content for them so I'll probably be fixated on them for a bit.

Catching the romantic interest of this bird is basically a death wish. They don't even realize they like you at first because "romance isn't something they'd waste their time with."

Trying to have a regular conversation with Peng almost always leads to them becoming distracted by you in some way. Whether it be your smile or the way you hang onto their every word, it drives them crazy.

Of course, this is taken out on you via taunting, putting you down, pretty much convincing you you're meaningless because they can't distinguish butterflies from annoyance.

They'll vent to Yellowtusk about it because he's the only one they feel will listen to them without giving them a headache.

"I get so annoyed when they're around, yet I don’t want them leaving my sight... Like they'll run off and die if I'm not babysitting them. I don't get it..."

"It sounds like you enjoy someone's presence for once, brother."

"...Maybe you're not as wise as I thought."

Yellowtusk doesn't take offense because he knows Peng will be back to "complain" about you again. It both worries and amuses him.

If by some miracle you see through their prickly exterior and show interest in them, Peng will only get worse before they get better. However, they'll be more egotistical, (If that's possible) boasting instead of putting you down- as much.

Peng will flaunt to the point they're performing for you as they train, always making you attend the training sessions and claiming it was so you'll learn a thing or two. Wukong definitely helps with this, only because he wants an excuse to scrap with Peng, but he also heavily ships you two on the down low.

If you confess first, Peng will be shocked into silence for the first time in their life. You expect them to yell at you, say something like "I know," or even hit you.

You don't expect Peng to swiftly turn around and fly off without a word.

Sending you through a brick wall would have been less painful because they proceeded to ghost you for the next few days as they assessed their feelings for you.

They return days later after avoiding you. The closest thing to an apology you get is Peng gifting you your favorite snack.

"I have thought it over, and I've decided to humor," They gesture between the two of you, clearly out of their element. "... This."

Peng confessing first under normal circumstances is unlikely. Wukong would probably have to step in and start getting too close to you for Peng's liking. They don't even know why they care until your attention is consumed by the Monkey King.

Peng has to come to terms with the fact that not only do they want your attention, but they want you. Peng realizes just how easily you could slip from their grasp if you reject them or get swooned by another.

What do they do? Well, if demanding you be their spouse doesn't work, they'll try human courting methods like gifts or dates. Of course, they see that as a waste of time as well and contemplate just kidnapping you(which Yellowtusk advises against).

When you two officially get together, Peng hides the relationship from Azure, Macaque, and Wukong. Any public display of affection is strictly prohibited. Not because they were afraid of you being taken away, no, but because they felt weak for falling for a mortal.

This causes issues between you two, but it was to be expected. Peng isn't too affectionate in private either, at least not in a regular sense.

When Peng sees how much this hurts you, they do make an effort to show signs of love. Maybe they'll give you a backhanded compliment or run their talons over your scalp gently.

The longer you two are together, the more they open up to the idea of showing you they care for you instead of assuming you know. Eventually, they declare your relationship to the rest of the group(proudly).

Wukong is ECSTATIC - to Peng's dismay. Yellowtusk, Azure, and DBK are happy for you two. Macaque keeps his opinion to himself, even if it was obvious he was concerned for your well-being. It was Peng, after all.

Things do get better after that. You two have your disagreements, but Peng gets better at listening to you.

Most birds stick with their mate for life, that's not much different for Peng. Even if they aren't affectionate in the ways you crave sometimes, they protect you with their life.

Only they can belittle you and get away with it.

When they're tired, they'll fluff up next to you and take a power nap. No, you're not allowed to leave. You'll hear low chattering from their beak as they bask in your warmth. Mention it, and you'll be sent into the stratosphere.(And they'll whine while denying they do it.)

Will fly you places and pretend you're being a burden. In reality, they enjoy seeing you so easily impressed by their wings. Peng definitely shows off their wings every chance they get after that, whether it's to shield you from the weather or pull you closer.

Will eventually let you kiss their beak. The reaction is priceless as their feathers fluff up, and their pupils dilate ever so slightly.

Peng definitely purrs if you manage to get them that comfortable.

Doesn't directly say I love you. They don't want to admit someone made them soft enough to express it verbally. That, and they're not entirely sure how to be genuine sometimes. They learn a lot from you. If you give them words of affirmation, they'll return them—if not a little aggressively.

They'll rub against you affectionately to cover you in their scent and then carry you around.

You'll never go hungry with Peng as a partner. They bring you food before you realize you're hungry and somehow know what you're craving.

Still belittles you, but it's somehow in an endearing way.

No one can make them feel bad about being with you now. They present you at their side as their amazing partner. Anyone who has anything to say can meet an early death.

[temper-temper]

It’s Me Birthday

I was going to draw a cute lil picture but due to a lil bit of art burnout I wasn’t able to- so instead I’m gonna write a bit of an update of my life by looking back at the past year since my last birthday.

Last year at this time I was working a job that made me miserable and wondering what I was doing with my life. It was a few months after meeting Flash, Flux, and Guru (Dawn and Doe too!) and I had just gotten back into military history- something I felt for a long time was wrong and bad for me to be into. I ended up quitting that job and starting a job that is my favorite to this day (though sadly I moved and couldn’t keep the job) and getting closer to a lot of people I’ve met through this community.

The people I’ve met here- like Silver, Doe, Daw, Flash, Ally, Flux, Guru, Summer, Aw0, Captain Molasses, Saryn ( and Fly Guy through him), Sugar, TechBro, Dainty, Paint, Dark, and so so many more- helped me so much in being comfortable and confident in who I am. They have been a constant supportive force in my life since I’ve opened myself up to them here and helped me through one of the hardest transitioning periods in my life.

In this time I’ve moved states, starting a new job, started a new Church, started a new relationship, and started being unapologetically me and I have my amazing friends to thank for helping me get to this point!

I also need to sing raises to God because where I was just s year ago was a place that looking back on it I really wasn’t happy- I didn’t know it myself but He did. I was around people who put me down (mostly those old jobs) and made me feel I wasn’t good enough and an idiot and now I’m around people who love and value me! Only God could of so perfectly brought me from where I was to where I am now.

I gotta give special thanks to a few key players in helping me out over these last few months and if you aren’t in the list don’t think that doesn’t mean I don’t value you! I think I means we need to chat more! Seriously, feel free to dm me! :3

Doe: Honey- thank you. You were the first I came to when I realized what I did and you were so patient with me, you gave me a distraction and an ear to listen while I was figuring life out. You never said “oh do this” or “do that” just listened and held me to my decision. You even gave me the kick to tell Guru how I felt!

Flux: You stayed up with me in late night calls- helping me process everything when my world was falling a part. You helped me understand my feelings and realize that feeling my feelings was okay. You’ve been the big brother I always wanted and it was so nice to bound with you while we courted out S/Os. I’m grateful for you being there when I was so scared.

Ally: You ALSO helped me understand my feelings and understand that it’s okay to feel my feelings. You sat with me while I toiled with anger and sadness; and you vented back to me your own. You have been steadfast in your support and love for me and I’m grateful to have a friend like that- you also have been nothing but supportive of me and Guru and always know what to say when I need it. Yeah misses “you are cute,” I see you

Flash: Fella you started it all! You brought me to these friendships. Your a quite strong wall of support for us and I just hope I can be one back to you. You remind me repeatedly “is this under God?” And it’s great to have a friend like that. Your a great artist and I’m glad to have you as a friend- we gotta do more with Fell and Celeste!

SilverWing: Honey get OVER HERE! You’ve been so supportive and kind to me in your feral way and I love it. It’s so nice having someone in my life who wants to pop off about the interests I thought for YEARS I wasn’t allowed to have. We don’t talk as much as I do some others on this list but we don’t have to either. Just vibes all the time 😎

Dawn: We don’t talk that much but I can always trust you. No doubt you are my friend and that being around you is always a blast. Your art is amazing and I do hope we can grow closer- but we really don’t need to, it’s just vibes all the time and I’m grateful for you.

Dainty: Girly we may not be extremely close or whatever but ASSDSDSD YOU ASADSF!! Always supportive and kind to me, always saying nice stuff about me!! You are really awesome thanks for bring my friend!

Dark: Dark, you know well by now I call you my dad. You have been in my life since I was 16 and have supported me though so much- you watched me grow up and grow into my own and I do hope I made you proud. When you saw all that stuff happening with me you stepped up to help me in your amazing Dark way and I’m so grateful for it and you. I just wish I knew how to return the favor. Please don’t undervalue yourself of your art- you are a huge inspiration to me and I don’t want you to leave my life. I trust you.

Guru: Well honey it’s your turn now. I’ve been writing this for the 30 min.

You have had such a healthy and happy impact on my life. You support me and love me just the way I am! You are an amazing and godly man that I can say wholeheartedly I love. You were part of why I got back into the military and you’ve been so crazy supportive in that time I really needed it. I’m so glad we grew closer and you ended up catching feelings for me like I did you. Having a great Christian man by my side is nothing short of amazing and the fact that on top of it all you are handsome, outgoing, well rounded, bubbly/friendly, understanding, and patients. You are the whole package as they say.

I love you hun and don’t you forget it

but honestly I love everyone I mentioned- thank you guys (and so many more) for being in my life ❤️

[nerdinsandals]

Hi I just need to vent a lil bit because I'm kinda frustrated with my health at the moment shdkfj

I'm not like, sick or anything, or at least I don't think I am. I'm just feeling physically and mentally exhausted to the point that I can barely keep my eyes open sometimes, or maybe I manage to do one (1) task and that's enough to knock me out for the day and maybe even the next day sometimes if I do more than one thing that requires the smallest amount of effort. It's not like I was full of energy before because my battery is always at like 60%, but I don't think I've felt this weak in a long time, and this has been going on for months already. Some days are better than others, but I never feel like I'm at my normal.

At first I thought it was just the result of all the accumulated exhaustion I wasn't allowing myself to feel while preparing for my librarian exam (which took place in late January), but like I said it's been months already and I feel like the exhaustion should've been gone by now? But then I remembered that I was sick with a high fever a couple weeks before said exam, because a relative thought it was a great idea to come to visit with clear flu-like symptoms and no mask (and they didn't cover their mouth when coughing, either), so of course I caught whatever they had. I rarely catch viruses, but I still get vaccinated and take as many precautions as I can because, when I do, I usually have to deal with the nastier side-effects, unlike other people who recover just fine.

Since I was isolating anyway because I was in full hermit mode studying for my exam, I didn't think about taking a COVID test, but now I'm starting to think that maybe what that relative had was in fact COVID and what I'm experiencing is post-viral fatigue? It's the only thing that makes sense with the information I have, since iirc it can last for months… I'm not sure if there's anything that can be done to make it better so idk if I should bother my doctor again (healthcare is currently very overworked and understaffed here, and especially in the summer), but if I keep feeling this way after the summer I guess an appointment won't hurt. 😅

My librarian exam fortunately went well despite already feeling the exhaustion (which at that point I chalked up to the stress of preparing for the exam for like a year), and I don't know the final results just yet because they're taking an embarrassingly long time to publish them, but I have to wonder if I would've done better had I not fallen sick. I needed to do exceptionally well to secure the position and unfortunately, while like I said, I did well (like an 80 out of 100), I didn't do "secure the position by getting in the top 10 out of thousands" well. ;; There's always next time I guess. But right now I just want to be able to draw and do things I enjoy without getting tired!

So yeah, I thought I'd be able to get at least a couple pieces done for Conway Day this year, but with only a bit over a couple weeks left I haven't been able to even finish *one* because I don't want to push myself and make it worse. I hope I can at least finish one of them, since I should be able to make a couple posts out of it! And of course I know this should be the least of my worries, but I just really like celebrating Conway Day and it frustrates me that I can't have my usual stash of new art to provide haha

Anyway, thanks for reading and take care of yourselves! And tell your relatives to wear a mask if they want to visit you and they know they're sick (or maybe don't visit at all?) 😑

[stardewsnail]

Not the same anon, but those jealousy hcs were so good! Do you think you could write some for the bachelorettes? 👀 Please and thank you! 🖤

Snail’s directory 🖤Jealous Bachelorettes 🖤

🖤 Emily 

Emily tries to be connected to her emotions. She acknowledges the jealousy, meditates, maybe talks to Caroline for advice. She’s working through it consciously, letting herself feel before letting it go…

Except she can’t let it go.

Because every time she closes her eyes and tries to concentrate on her breathing, all she can see is the farmer’s red-stained face as they offered Leah a basket of wild spring onions. 

She will go around and around the jealousy trying to work it into something more productive

Eventually she’s just going to talk to the farmer, albeit indirectly

Might get Haley to help her gather intel on who the farmer has a crush on–Haley isn’t a gossip, but she is nosy. 

Over all Emily tries to handle it maturely, but she’s crushing hard and it’s making her act a little goofy

This will end with Emily shooting her shot and just confessing

🖤 Haley

Haley doesn’t get jealous. That would be totally beneath her—girls like her have no reason to ever be jealous.

So when the farmer came bouncing in front of her house she was certain there was about to be a knock at her door. But no, the farmer stopped in front of Skater boy, a cactus fruit held triumphantly in their hands. Sam lit up, of course, taking the gift and inviting the farmer in. She turned, storming back to her bedroom and slamming the door with more force than probably necessary. She had film to process anyway–she was much too busty to waste time on the farmer.

she’s absolutely seething and doesn’t know what to do about it

She’s never liked someone so much that she was actually jealous, this was a new feeling

If Haley and the farmer aren’t together then Haley is gonna end up regressing into a bit of a mean girl again. She might even snap at the person “stealing” her farmer (poor Sam doesn’t know what the fuck he did and he’s already a lil scared of Haley) 

If they’re together, then Haley isn’t nearly as mean but she gets pouty and extra needy but like…she just passive aggressively sits on the other side of the couch until the farmer notices and slides over to give her some love

Catch the farmer getting her something special from the mines the next day and taking care to spend a little extra time with her

🖤 Leah

Leah channels all her jealousy into her art. She knows she’s jealous—she’s passionate and she likes that about herself. Jealousy is just another emotion that needs to be felt and processed. She really doesn’t bring it up with the farmer unless they’re actually together in which case it would be a conversation along the lines of Leah saying 

“Hey I wanted to talk to you about something—I’m feeling insecure about x and I just wanna check in”

I think she’s one of the older bachelorettes and she’s had enough crappy relationships and post relationship therapy (she’s a big advocate that everyone needs therapy) to handle it directly and maturely. It will be fine as long as her partner can match her calm energy. And also I think Leah would, out of all of them, value platonic relationships just as much as romantic. She doesn’t want to stop the farmer from giving gifts to their friends; she's just asking for a lil reassurance. 

🖤 Abigail

Pre-relationship

Abigail will both hide away in her video games and be a little extra vicious in the mines. The big thing though, will be how hard she’s hitting the drums at band practice—it’s noticeable she’s playing out some angst. She’s absolutely not going to talk to the farmer about it, but she will vent to Sam and Seb. Sebastian offers some good advice, and Sam decides to take matters into his own hands and the next time he hangs out with the farmer he not so subtly asks about their dating life

The farmer misunderstands and basically says they’re flattered but that they like someone else

Sam quickly guesses that it’s Abigail with a huge grin, and tells the farmer that Pierre will have bouquets in stock soon

He reports back to Abigail who is mortified and quickly goes to the farmer to talk and clear things up (without a plan tbh she was just running on caffeine and panic) 

just imagine the farmer awkwardly holding a bouquet that Abigail doesn’t notice until she’s rambled for at least five minutes about her and the farmer and some esoteric commentary on the nature of relationships

at some point the farmer just holds up the flowers and Abigail stops short, red as a tomato

I don’t think Abigail would be significantly jealous once she was in a relationship. 

🖤 Maru

I imagine Maru is the most inexperienced in love when it comes to the bachelorettes. I HC her around 20 and as having been mostly home schooled. 

Pre-relationship

She absolutely over analyzes and tries to think her way through her emotions rather than feeling them

Fortunately she has Penny to talk to–and talk she will. It will take a lot of talking before she actually realizes she’s jealous because she likes the farmer. 

This realization is a crisis. It’s a panic. Maru does not know what to do. 

She spends extra time staying up at her telescope (she’s just as nocturnal as her brother) like the stars will have answers 

She will be completely oblivious to the farmer liking her back for the longest time

Relationship

when she gets jealous she tends to try to talk to her partner indirectly? Like she will be talking around the whole thing and her partner will go “i think I’m understanding what you’re saying, and I want to reassure you that you have no reason to be jealous”

And Maru will sit there frozen for a moment while she processes (give a girl a min to buffer) and then they’ll actually talk about the issue. 

🖤 Penny

Penny doesn’t get jealous, Penny gets sad. She withdraws and begins to pull away, insecurity getting the best of her. She gets quiet and fidgets when the farmer asks what’s wrong. Be patient with her and eventually she’ll open up about feeling like the farmer likes someone else. Like Haley, she needs reassurance—wrap your arm around her while she reads, bring her some tea, kiss her temple whenever you pass her—these little actions make her feel cared for and secure. Eventually she’ll be confident enough to bring up her feelings on her own. All she needs is to know she’s wanted. 

[matrixxsystem]

Terrapin Soup Part 9 (6/7)

"Easy love, I'll help. Just tell me what to do." Leo smiled a little more, finally able to take a breath and calm down a bit with Usagi's reassurance. April and Donnie didn't know what they were talking about, they had nothing to worry about. And so what he ate people, that was nothing dangerous compared to some of the fucked up things villains have done, even Draxum who was like their weird step-dad did some pretty fucked up things, including attempted genocide! So who cares if his boyfriend ate some bad guys.. Isn't that what recycling is? He's not a killer he's an environmentalist! Leo got all the tools he needed and set them on a roller table, sitting himself on the bed not too far from Hyo so Usagi wouldn't be too far incase he woke up. He'd most likely sleep through the night but he still didn't want to make his boyfriend any more anxious about it then he was already. "Here, I marked where it should be, all you gotta do is cut it out, I'll give myself a lil adrenaline shot to stop the bleeding, then you stitch it up and well be good to go. Should only take.. Maybe five minutes?" Usagi nodded and grabbed the small knife on the tray after unwrapping his arms, "Y'know, I've never done this on someone who's alive, so make sure to let me know if I hurt you." Leo nodded, "I just.. Can't believe he'd spy on me, what if he heard something I didn't want him to or something private! I just- What else has he been doing without me knowing?" Usagi nodded and gently grabbed Leo's arm, pressing his fingers against his muscles trying to pinpoint where it was exactly to make sure he didn't hurt anything else. Once he felt the small bump under his skin he tugged his arm out further and glanced to Leo a last time, "Ready then? You may continue to vent, it may help keep your mind distracted." Leo nodded glancing to the knife then back up to him, "Yeah, I'll be fine, I mean you know the kinda stuff I used to do to myself so I can handle this. Besides, maybe if you kissed it better I'd be more inclined to sit still for you~" Usagi rolled his eyes and pressed the knife against Leos inner arm, "Well if you want fewer stiches try not to move anyway." He stopped talking as he started to concentrate, glancing between the incision and Leo's expression to make sure he was actually alright and not just trying to be brave. Leo however wasn't paying much attention, he was looking back at Usagi's expression. "I can feel it in there, what now?" Leo at first didn't respond, too busy fawning over his boyfriends features but soon snapped out of it and looked back, "Right- Uh you can use those uh.. Tongs? And grab it. If it feels stuck you can probably cut it out but I don't think it'll be too hard to get." Usagi nodded doing as told, the faint smell of blood rising making his nose twitch. Leo held back a chuckle as he watched him work, there was of course a small amount of pain but it was well over shadowed by everything else distracting him. Like his cute boyfriend doing his little nose twitch as he sorted through the small line of tools. Once Usagi got a hold of the device and carefully pulled it out he set it on the tray, studying it for a moment, it was about the same size as a grain or rice. "That's.. Under other circumstances this would be quite intriguing.. The man who invented this technology was in his forties when he first began materializing it. Yet your brother is only near sixteen and fabricating his own… But anyway- The stitches, right, walk me through it." Leo pulled up a video on his phone for a better visual and explained things around the images to help, thanks to the internet it was over and relatively painless. Usagi held Leos arm after the final stitch was in place and as promised, gently pressed his lips above the wound kissing it better. "I'm a little surprised you didn't ask for a bite~"

Part 9.7 Part 1

TS Master Post

[viaarts404]

Lil fanfic I started to draw art of, just didn't have the time to finish it. It's also on AO3:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55794316

Holding your hand 'til the end

Chapter 1: Couldn't even protect you

Spirit pushed the rubble off of himself and sat up.

-Stein? -he asked, expecting his meister to also get up from the ground. Spirit shielded his meister from the rubble the best he could. Spirit looked down at his meister who was unconscious on the cold floor. His injuries on his arm, side and chest were really deep but his chest moved up and down, proving that he was alive. Spirit took jacket off and tied part of if around his partner's upper arm, right above the wound.

Spirit sat next to Stein and took out his phone. Calling for help is all he could do in that moment. He didn't know what to do. He did have basic medical training but he forgot it pretty fast since he never had to use it. It was usually him getting hurt and Stein had to fix it.

Death Scythe slowly typed Sid's number in his phone and pressed the big button to call him.

-what is it now? -Sid stopped his lesson to check his phone. He pressed the big red button then went back to his lesson.

-Dammit, Sid. -Spirit yelled then tried to call again.

Sid didn't like to pick up Spirit's calls. He usually only calls when he's drunk and needs help. Sid's slight anger slowly faded into concern as a bad feeling started creeping up on him. He picked up.

-What is it this time, Spirit? -Sid asked, knowing that Spirit's calls are never good.

-S-Sid...-Spirit said quietly. Sid froze. He didn't sound drunk. He sounded...sad..

-Spirit, what happened? Answer me! -Sid ordered, raising his voice.

-I need your help. I messed up. -confessed Spirit, tiny sobs escaping even tho he tried to stop them. Sid looked at his students who all looksd back at him with concerned or confused expressions.

-Where are you? -asked Sid, now in a calm voice.

-At a temple about 300kms from Death City -replied Spirit and he started to tell Sid everything he knows about the place they are at at the moment.

Spirit sat in the waiting room at the hospital. He was worried sick. Stein needed surgery and they said it will take at least 5 hours to complete. He's been sitting there since a pretty nurse treated his own wounds. He jumped when a hand touched his shoulder. It was Marie.

-I'm sure he'll be okay. He is strong. -Said Marie then sat next to Spirit. Marie was worried as well but knew she has to stay positive in times like this.

-Yeah. You're right. -Spirit replied in a very quiet voice. He felt a bit better to know others had hope as well.

-Sid said he'll get us some food while we wait. -Marie smiled at Spirit which made him feel a little bit better.

Sid and Marie talked in the waiting room while Spirit was lying on 3 chairs with his head in Marie's lap. Marie pet his head and played with his hair like she used to when Spirit went to her after every fight between him and Stein. Spirit is not a light sleeper but every time he heard a bit louder noise, he woke up. He repeated the same thing every time. He woke up, cried and vented about how long the surgery takes then cried himself back to sleep.

Spirit woke up once again when the big door of the emergency room opened. A doctor stepped out with a nurse by his side. Spirit jumped up and rushed up to the doctor and he started asking questions that melted together, making the sentence nothing but a meaningless mess.

Marie and Sid followed Spirit. Marie pulled Spirit back a little bit.

-How did it go, doctor? -asked Sid. Spirit slightly calmed down, or seemed to, at least. He crossed his arms and tapped it with his fingers.

-He is in critical condition but surgery was a success. He's been taken into room 442. You may go up and see him just be very careful.

-Will do,doc!- yelled Spirit then ran down the hallway, looking for the stairs. Marie rushed after him, leaving Sid alone. Sid sighed, thanked the doctor and walked after the others.

Spirit ran up the stairs, leaving Marie behind on the floor below him. He didn't stop until he was already at the room. Room 442. He took a deep breath and slowly opened the door. He stood there at the open door until Marie caught up to him. It took a bit for Marie to catch her breath then she turned to Spirit.

-Do you want me to go in first? -She said then pet his shoulder. Spirit clenched his fists and took another deep breath. Spirit shook his head and walked in. He looked around then his gaze slowly shifted to his meister lying in the bed. He was connected to all kinds of machines Spirit didn't know the name or use of. He stood at the door silently and just stared at his partner. Dark thoughts started creeping up on him. His eyes started to water but he quickly started rubbing his eyes to stop it.

-What's wrong, Spirit? -Marie squeezed herself past Spirit into the room. Spirit just silently stood there. He was in shock. His partner was in even worse condition than he expected. Not like he really expected him to get hurt. He's never seen Stein in such a terrible condition before.

-O-Oh my...-Marie was in disbelief. She took one of the chairs at the wall and took it next to the bed. She sat down and held his hand. Spirit tried to hold his tears back and failed miserably. Spirit started loudly crying.

[stinger-shot]

Yey! Silly vent because I feel like shit!

Read under the cut if you want the juicy ass details

So basically, I gotta let this shit out.. its fucking me up a bit rn.

I met this dude around the start of 2021 on tiktok AND HE WAS SO TALENTED AND FUNNY but he always said he wasn't. Anyway time skip a lil..

We started getting into a few arguments near the middle of 2022. And they where just small disagreements then they gradually got worse and worse every time it happend. And it especially got bad when I made another friend on tiktok who loved doing art related things and drew my old persona back then.

And HE WAS NOT HAVING IT and he said quite alot of bad things to me. Did I stay friends with him? Yes I did. Did I also block the nice guy just trying to be my friend? Yes. I blocked them out of fear of loosing my best friend.

And near the end of 2022 we started dating because things had gotten a better.

Oh how I was so wrong. Everything just went downhill when he left high-school. He always needed attention. He got mad at me because I couldn't set an alarm BECAUSE he was up at 10am and I was up near 1pm. So I forced myself to do so mutch bullshit for him. Like draw him art as an apology and it drained me do badly I could hardly do my own personal art.

I didn't even have personal art at this point. Every time I fixated on something it was what he was fixating on because he'd get mad at me and argue with me if I wasn't.

But everything was calm when it was around April in 2023 and we where finally getting along like an actul couple because of a game called final fantasy. We where obsessed with it for months! And then around June or July I re discovered transformers.

I have never felt as happy in a fandom since 2019! Like holy shit the fandom is so sweet.

But I kept it a secret from him he still doesn't know. Then at some point I made this tumblr to get my stupid little urges out and now look at where I'm at. I haven't been this happy in a LONG while.

And just st the start of 2024 my ex got into an argument with one of his friends and I offered to talk to them. so he agreed and I spoke to them.

Im so fucking glad I did.

Because without their help I'd still be fucking miserable. They gave me the confidence to dump that bitches ass and I honestly feel like a weight has been taken off. Because it honestly felt like a chore every day of my life just talking to him.

And my other friend on discord had helped me out to. Including you silly fuckers on discord/tumblr. If your even reading this... if you are why are you still reading this?

But anyway. I just needed this off my chest. Because it does hurt a little spite how good i feel but I just have an off feeling. I haven't put down everything that happend while I was with my ex and some things might be in the wrong order or time but at least I'm forgetting it?

Just. I love the transformers fandom so mutch mutch really helped me pull through...

Fuck I'm ranting. Uh. Bye!

Also a big thank you to Avery and rex for helping me feel better (rex I've only known you for a little bit but jesus christ I fucking laugh my ass off because of you) jesus I'm sappy as fuck. (and avery your so fucking cool. You helped me alot.) And belyyvolks (I've had alot of fun messing around about ironhide XD) I'm not tagging because I don't want alot of attention on this post.

[spenglercore]

Sharing a WIP from later in When Protons Collide. No major spoilers, but I'll add a readmore just in case, and there are some notations in brackets. Egon gets tapped to crawl through the HVAC ducts in a commercial building in pursuit of An Entity and things get wildly embarrassing.

Bit of context: Victoria does roller derby almost every weekend, and she also lifts in her spare time to maintain core strength and she is also only 5'4".

"Well…shit. We don't have a ladder do we?" Vic asked as she stared up at the vent grate the ectoplasm was dripping from. "Not unless you have one in your pocket." Ray sighed. For a moment, nobody said a word as they all wracked their brains for a solution.

"I could always give one of you a leg up, no problem." Victoria offered with a shrug. "That would work. Who gets the honor of crawling through commercial ductwork?" Egon asked, half-sarcastic. Usually these sorts of things fell to Peter by default. But this time, as the silence stretched, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye and when he turned to see Ray and Winston looking at him expectantly. "What." "Well, you're the tallest." Peter shrugged. Egon raised an eyebrow. And? Then it hit him. "No." He turned and jabbed a finger at Peter for good measure, but then Ray spoke up. "You're also the lightest of us, if I remember right," He pointed out. "No," Egon repeated as he turned back to Ray. "Oh come on, you're built like a two-by-four! Not like you'd get stuck." Winston said. He'd been called unattractive in far worse ways, but having attention drawn to his body type in front of Victoria made him self conscious and he could feel his face go red as he glared at Winston and opened his mouth to protest again, but he was interrupted by Ray. "Hell, you'd probably have enough room to send a trap back out once you nab the wormy little critter." The more he thought about it, the more he realized he couldn't argue; he was best suited to go after the [need name for lil worm dudes] where it was hiding. Despite Victoria being more than capable of lifting any of them, it would be easier for her to heft the lightest person there, whom she'd also already proven she could pick up without breaking a sweat, and the odds of getting stuck somehow were definitely not in his favor. "And hey," Peter said as he clapped a hand on Egon's shoulder. "I always get tapped for this kind of thing, usually by you wanting me to gather some kind of snot for you to analyze and quite honestly? I'm starting to think you have a fetish." Egon had never wished so badly that he could vaporize the man with his mind. Instead he settled for channeling as much 'fuck you' into one look as he could. "Fine." He acquiesced reluctantly. "Hoo, if looks could kill!" Winston laughed. [add more; after a mildly awkward face to face boost into the vent, Egon catches The Thing and then has to worm his way out backwards and things go sideways]

He felt his left boot connect with Victoria's shoulder, and took a moment to make sure his footing was solid. "You're good!" Came the tinny reply. He braced his arms against the top and bottom surfaces of the duct, then slowly lowered his right foot, and a hand gripped the bottom of his boot around the arch. "Okay I got you, just let yourself down slow!" Easier said than done, there wasn't exactly anything to grab ahold of inside a commercial duct made of smooth sheet metal. Once he started to bend his left knee, he felt his right foot take his weight as it settled into her interlocked hands, which meant he no longer had to support himself entirely by his arms and shoulders wedged into the sides of the duct. As he slowly lowered himself further, he felt Victoria jostle and quickly tried to pull himself back up. "Oh fuckssake get your junk out of my face!!" At first, he thought that one of the items attached to his belt had hit her as he lowered himself out of the HVAC system, but it didn't take him long to realize that positioned as he was would put the jumpsuit's fly at face level. That junk. He was glad that his top half was still obscured inside the duct; he could feel his face burning and he wanted to disappear. But his only choice to resolve the situation was to keep going and get down as quickly as possible. Egon tried to lean back, so as not to violate Vic's personal space more than he already had. This in turn pushed his foot forward, which put him off balance. He tried to compensate by bending his leg, but that just shoved his kneecap into Vic's sternum. And just as he decided to try and straighten his leg again, his hand slipped. And there was nothing to grab to arrest himself. "Shit!" As he tried to reposition his left hand, his right slipped. "Shit, SHIT!" To her credit, he felt Victoria crouch down as he slipped backwards out of the vent in attempt to minimize his fall. But having one foot on her shoulder and the other in her hands caused his weight to further shift away from the wall, and several things happened in quick succession. As he fell down and back, Victoria let go of his right foot, and the lack of support caused his left foot to support more weight, which in turn meant that his mass shifted still further from the wall and out into empty space. Her left hand snapped out, and somehow she managed to grab the front of his jumpsuit in an attempt to stop him from hitting the ground. It didn't work. He already had enough momentum that all Victoria did was get yanked down with him. As he hit the ground, all he could think of was Newton's Principle of Inertia. This was going to hurt.

Hitting the ground flat on his back was bad enough, but hitting the ground and then immediately being hit in the midsection by a couple hundred pounds of his coworker succeeded in completely and utterly knocking the wind out of him. He let out an undignified strangled noise and tried to curl up, but he only succeeded in giving Victoria a very awkward hug as he gasped repeatedly to try and catch his breath. "Egon?! Are you okay?" He felt Victoria sit up on her knees, which now meant his legs were on either side of her torso. He squeezed his eyes shut as he silently cursed his psyche for supplying approximately 17 much more intimate scenarios that involved the sensation of her hips pressed against the inside of his thighs. "Fine," he half-wheezed. He hadn't quite gotten his voice back yet.

Egon gasped again and coughed, then felt Victoria shift against his legs. Assuming she was going to extricate herself from him, he pushed himself into a halfway sitting position braced on one elbow, his other hand pressed to his chest just below his ribs as he took another deep breath. "You sure?" He went to nod 'yes', but his eyes snapped open at the sudden and unexpected feeling of hands on either side of his face, and what breath he'd gotten back seemed to get stuck somewhere in his chest; Victoria's face was less than two inches from his, and suddenly all thoughts seemed to disappear, except for one. Kiss me. Please… He felt his face go hot, and hoped that it would just be taken as a side effect from his recent exertions and not his brain suddenly being fixated on the concept of kissing with a ferocity he was not prepared for. Don't forget to breathe, imbecile! He exhaled a breath he hadn't noticed he was holding, and nodded. Maybe he was just seeing things, or reading too much into Victoria's own physiological response to strenuous physical activity, but she seemed just as pink in the face as he probably was, and she wasn't saying anything, just….looking at him… "Are you guys gonna make out right there on the floor, or can we leave now?" Victoria let go of his face as Egon started and twisted one way, then the other, just in time to see Ray give Peter a pained look. Any and all interest he had in kissing evaporated, and an intense embarrassment took it's place. "Can it, Venkman!" He almost yelled. Egon cringed mentally as soon as he spoke; his response had been far too defensive, especially considering how rarely he rose to his friend's usual provocations. Peter's response was to raise his eyebrows and laugh. "Ooh looks like I hit a nerve." He said in a teasing, sing-song tone before Ray smacked him in the back of the head.

[ofmermaidstories]

*Huge Rant Incoming*

Hi Mermie :> How are you? With all the asks you have already answered regarding MHA, I hope this is not too annoying. I just need to be irritating about this for a bit cuz I have been grabbing all my frnds to vent to them about MHA and the ending. It's my coping method TvT

Regarding the ending I think, I was a lil disappointed. There are so many opinions floating around but in general I do agree with the fact that most of the problems arise because the plotlines that had so much buildup weren't really ended in a satisfying or logical manner and it didn't really feel like an ending that upheld the messages of the anime. Which is crazy to me because this is one of the few cases where even if the anime ended in that "Wow! Happy Ending! Everyone and Everything is fine and we all became the greatest heroes", it would still fit because my hero always gave me that vibe of, "Oh! You can also be a hero! Go Beyond! Plus Ultra!", and it still SOMEHOW never felt patronizing or corny even though I usually hate shit like that. I was so flabbergasted when I actually felt motivated to do better when I first saw MHA because the show is so OBVIOUS in it's messages and metaphors. MHA is not a subtle show but it still somehow WORKS?!

No matter what the ending was there would always be someone who is disappointed; especially for a fandom as huge as this. It can also not be overlooked that due to the insane and frankly inhumane workload, Horikoshi obviously had to cut corners and the time needed to really flesh out all the ideas he had; but I still can't help but feel frustrated with how things ended. So many of our favorite animes and stories have to suffer because of this and I would rather wait 2 years to get a better and well rounded ending than for it to be rushed like this :/

Regardless of all the commotion, I still think that for all the things MHA did wrong, it also managed to do a lot of things right. Does the show suffer from not giving female leads fulfilling plots even when they have amazing powers and personalities? Yes. Does the show fall short in committing to give long term consequences to it's characters? Also yes. But at the end of it I really think MHA's biggest strength lies in it's character writing. I HATED Bakugo's guts the whole first season really, but he ended up being one of, if not the MOST heroic characters in the show. I really love all of the characters and the things they stand for. Even if LoV was a run-of-the-mill typical villain group, I loved all of them too and was really invested in ALL of their storylines. Deku is also such an amazing MC with so much potential even out of the show. He is relatable, sweet, heroic but also COMPLETELY UNHINGED. lol. I cannot name one character that I "hate" in MHA (except AFO, he can go jump in an acid pool for all I care). So it was really disappointing to see their arcs (especially the villains, and ESPECIALLY SHIGARAKI) end like that, ;-;

But even after all this I really, for the life of me cannot hate this show. It is one of the only Animes that I watched alongside the fandom, otherwise I usually wait for them to end so I can binge it altogether. Shouto was one of- if not my first anime blorbo <3 I still remember how ABSOLUTELY SMITTEN I was (still am unfortunately) back then. He remained my uncontested fave for a long LONG time. Even with all the toxic shit the MHA fandom is up to at times, it's still one of the most fun experiences I have had in a fandom. I have met some of my favorite fanfic writers because of this show, found so many amazing artists and have constantly been bamboozled by how talented the ppl in this space were. I have made a lot of steadfast frnds because of this show. My bff (a devoted bakugirlie) and I would spend hours coming up with hcs, talking about character analysis and coming up with all different theories for the show. Those were some good times :D

It might not be the best ending but MHA is a good show. The journey to get here was one I will never forget <3

Lmao, you’re always welcome to rant, Castle. 🥹 I’m always happy to talk about the ending, I have a lot of thoughts about it!!! But okay let’s have a chinwag. I’m curious—if you could talk through your ideal ending, what would it be? Because I quite liked the ending Hori’s given us, even with my attachment to Deku being a hero via OFA lmfaoooo. I think yeah, Hori rushed things to the end, but I don’t believe things would’ve played out any differently if he’d given himself like, another year or whatever. I think he’s had this ending in mind for a while now, and I don’t think anything could have talked him into like… sticking around to tell it longer. 🥺

I do think the difference (with my liking the ending) is that I’ve never been invested in a Happy Ending for the villains LMFAO. I’m so sorry. 😭 I like them—I love them—as characters in the story, but I am not a stan in the way that like… I’d go out of my way to write a fic for them, or buy their merch, you know? And I think the main reason for that (for me) is like, how very clearly marked for messy ends they were, like, right from the start LMAO. It sucks ass that they were neglected/actively abused/earmarked for some insane world domination plan, and it sucks ass that for them help never came, or was offered too late—but they’re villains LOL. Most of them make active choices in their adulthoods to be shitheads. 🥹 And we could argue until the cows come home about whether or not you’re really making a choice, if all you’ve known is abuse/neglect/doomsday grooming, but tbh, in a world where people can have devastating and destructive powers that they can then turn on other people, I kind of think it’s a moot point. 💀 Like—it doesn’t matter how sad it is that Shigaraki was left to wander the streets as a tiny kid, shellshocked and idk, covered in the remains of his family—by the end of the manga, he was literally at the point where if he had escaped Deku's clutches one more time, he would've dusted the entire country. The boy had to go, LOL. Ship him off to the afterlife by express post!!

There’s a great discussion in there about the cycle of abuse, and what we (as a society) owe the victims of it, and how Horikoshi absolutely has thing about like, retconning his abusers to either like, try and undo some of the severity of what they’ve done (Endeavour, Bakugou to some extent) or give them moments of sympathy (Shiggy’s dad, when he’s gushing about his baby boy to AFO), but the thing that MHA makes very explicit by the end is that like—sometimes things suck, and sometimes you can’t save people from the damage that gets dealt to them, but you can stop them from dealing more damage out to others, and perpetuating the cycle.

(This is a bit of an aside, but my favourite thing about the villains is that they were genuinely dangerous people. We as a fandom have the gift of like—seeing their hurt, their tragedy, for what it is. We see the neglected, abused, lonely children they were. The cruelties and the misunderstandings. But the people of the MHA world don't get that magical ability. Instead they get to see one of their classmates—who was chill and normal and fun—suddenly attack a boy just to drink his blood bc she’s like, obsessed with him. They see a young man walking around with decaying hands clinging to him, and turning people to dust. They see a homeless psycho set the people they care about on fire in a roar of blue flame. You can't demand change—or pretend to, for some of them—while actively making your world a worse place. And that’s what makes them compelling, to me. I like that AFO is just—wretched, LOL. That he literally just comes out of the womb and was like ok, I’m going to ruin lives and make it generational. 💀)

Would you change their endings, if you could? 🥺 I think if I could change one thing it’d be… Bakugou dying, LOL. Like I’d either a) make it permanent b) make it cost more to bring him back. 😌 (This is why it’s a good thing Hori’s the one that wrote MHA lmfaooooo. 🥹) Actually, new question: even with your disappointment, is there anything about the ending that makes you feel a little more hopeful? 🥺 You mention how much the fandom means to you—is your love for it seperate to your enjoyment of the series? The ending made me happy—Izuku, finally getting to live his dream because his friends loved him so much. 🥹 And also after a moment or two I grew really attached to him as a teacher!!! He’s so perfect for it. 🥺 I know his students just love him. I think Horikoshi created some really lasting, powerful characters andddd… ultimately I trust in their lasting appeal. Theirs, and the story’s, overall. 😌

[short-black-diamond]

Im sorry if i shouldn't be venting cuz this is a vent🙏 but i just wanna get this off my chest- just ignore it :)

I've been feeling more lonely internally, there's moments when I'm happy ofc- but the loneliness always returns and i don't think anyone will ever love ( why should they?? 🤨 ) but its rlly sad cuz im a romantic 😭 and i used to feel worse ( it got slightly better ) but it still sucks. and my friend is being different and a bit difficult for my lil heart 😅

e. g. we used to always call or text, but now she either replys dryly or ignores me ( ON PURPOSE ) and irl she justs gives a mean stare ( she does that most of the time but it feels a lil mean cuz I'm always just givin a lil smile )

and today in the entire hall, the teachers allowed us to sit where we wanted to. and everyone had like a fren grp, it was just me and my 2nd bestie ( they're a homie but the 1st one hits diff )

WORST PART I CANT EVEN CRY😭 THE LAST TIME I CRIED WAS 1-2 MONTHS AGO OVER MATH💀

sorry to kinda dump this...

- 👻 anon

(did you take the ghost emoji because of halloween or just because you felt like it?)

I feel like crying when I think about the word math.

---

I feel flattered by the fact that you used my unbox to vent, my love. I just hope that your "friend" won't be mad at you for long?

Would you know what the possible reason might be? maybe something happened to her at home which she doesn't want to talk about, or you guys had an argument where one of you guys said something insensitive?

If she does not want to talk to you, I suggest you let her be and also only speak to her when she starts the conversation. it is best to leave a person alone for a while, maybe they're going through something too at the moment?

I just hope that you won't stay alone for too long as it is not healthy, you know? I want you to be happy. maybe go and take a walk at the park or in the forest where many people walk around and enjoy the fresh breeze of air?

Talk to people, we humans need to be social, you know? it is not really healthy when a person stays alone for too long, my love. I hope you have other people to talk to, you know?

But, feeling alone sometimes if okay. I felt alone most times, and I just decided to write down stuff here in tumblr, and now I have adopted to kids, and am friends with a cool artist from my favourite webtoon.

I hope getting online friends is a good way for you to cope and relax? It also helps me when I bake something and concentrate myself on the ingredients and the way the bake should be prepared.

I don't know if what I said was helpful or not, but I hope I could. If you want to vent more, the box is always open, and also write down if you want me to answer you again or not }

-your diamond.

[rooklinensinker]

THIS IS BY NO MEANS GOOD

I'm just one of those people that...

*cringe*

write songs to vent about things. I usually forget about them which is kinda sad honestly. But looking at them piled up, I realised "oh damn i have a tumblr and nobody cares if you're cringe on tumblr!" so i decided to post them here if not just to keep them safe somewhere.

Like it or not, I'm kinda proud that I made something.

Sometimes that itself is enough to make me feel better about things.

I've always had trouble with either executive dysfunction or just not being able to balance time. But because work is a duty I couldn't just take my mind off it, even when I did nothing for days on end. I wouldn't do basic chores because I needed to do this first. But I never moved. And then the deadlines would come and I'd panic and break down again. And then I'd work all at once, not eating nor resting until I could finally catch up. I never did. Even when my work was finished it never felt like the race truly was. Even now, years later, I feel the same. It's maddening like you're not truly growing up, if such a thing is even real. Because you keep having the same problems over and over.

Anyways, here's a song about working.

Lyrics:

I hunger no longer cuz the longer I hunger

The more I forget I exist

Something always feels so amiss

Let's not think about this, there's no time

The longer I try to focus, the more my brain just tries to escape

Why am I stuck in this place?

Wish I could send myself into space.

Building my castle of trash with the moths as my witness

Can't think of future or past

Cuz that shit's too serious

I do not know the time or date but I know my deadline's soon

I cannot afford to eat

till I finish this one bit

I may stay awake till I hallucinate

But isn't this just the creative process?

All my friends can do it so I guess

that makes me just that ✨useless✨

I may faint and dissociate

But at least I gotta stay awake

I am working right now

I am working somehow

And it's working working working

Next morning I wake up and it leaves me stunned

My work looks like shit and needs to be redone

That was not in the plan. Fuck!

"What do I care? Let me just sleep!"

...

Sleeping feels so tiring

So is being alive, weeping in the shower

I promised this would be the last time

but I can never keep it.

My nose bleeds and head aches.

I'm aware of all my mistakes.

Procrastination raised the stakes

which is why I keep working working working

I may complain

"Hustle the pain away"

"There's bigger fish in the sea"

That's what I aim to be

But I'm drowning drowning drowning

--------space for a lil mental breakdown------------

Why feed a machine that doesn't work?

So I work to eat, but I can't think anymore

I work till my eyes give up seeing

I work so I forget my own being

Everybody seems like a fucking prodigy

while I'm wasting my time being good ol' mediocre me

If I can't keep up, I'll be left in their dust

----- more mentally ill activity---------

Work is done...

Yay! 🎉

I can take the day off today. ☺️

✨And proceed to do nothing for the next 5 months!👀✨

...

I can't do anything but think I should be working.

"Why have fun, when I should be working?"

"You're gonna die so don't ask why and start working!"

Leave my mark in the market of labour

My only worth is the work you savour

I hope it's worth it so I better get working.

....

Why ain't I working? working working

I have to keep working working working

I can't move but I need to keep working working working

I'll die if I'm not working working working

paralysed from my work, but I need to get working

I'm too tired to work yet I can't forget

that I should be working.

Guess what I should be doing right now 😃✨

[merwynsartblog]

Question. What do you mean by "I dealt with some shit online." I have been a little bit curious when i saw that in your pinned post. You do not need to tell if you do not want to.

Its fine dont worry lmao im just gonna warn you its a long ass ramble on what happened. there will be a tldr thing in the bottom since this is gonna be a biggg ass ramble. Tw for accusations on pedo/grooming + manipulation + mentions of the world war 2 causing guy

a lil insight on what happened before this shit happened. (this was on another website) there was a person (we gonna call them oliver tree fan) who was caught drawing nsfw of the ww2 causing guy on a alt acc with someone else. the person who caught them was actually a ex of mine (we gonna call them "M") M vented to me about it since the other person who was on the alt acc used to be a friend of M. I never liked oliver tree fan. they harrassed many of my friends and was just a shitty person in general. i called the oliver tree fan out since the website was pretty small and everything was silent for a lil bit. Then oliver tree fan started harassing M. ANDDDD OOOOO BOY that made me pissed. But i knew Oliver tree fan was trying to start shit so i ignored them and tried to help M. Then oliver tree fan decided to go to my acc later on and said "im gonna block ya now" i was very pissed since it didnt make sense to me and i vague posted about them THIS MADE OLIVER TREE FAN VERRYYYY ANGRY. so what did they do? they made a callout post randomly on me. Basically the callout post was about me being a groomer/predator and how weird it was for me to like characters from shows and how i was manipulative to my friends and i was dating a close friends partner and that i was faking my age bc i didnt look 16 (she had a face pic of mine </3 also yeah this was like. near 2 years ago) I did had faults. i did do stupid shit. im not gonna deny that. i dated a 10 year old when i was 14 i wasnt sexual but it was still fucking wrong. i have cut contact with them a long while ago but around a year ago i did apologize to them. that was a shitty thing to do. i did treated some of my friends very shitty. and i take full fucking blame for that. i apologized to them and we made up. but since. it was a small website. many people believed i was this shitty person and i deserved to go to jail and shit. i panicked to my friends and basically had a big old panic attack that night. oliver tree fan then decided "hey! ill delete the callout if you friend me on discord and talk to me" and i did just that. oliver tree fan basically made me BEG. to have the callout taken down. telling me i was in the wrong i didnt deserve shit. then asked me to delete callouts/screenshots. i did that and then they decided "hey now we friends :D". we also made a deal not to talk shit about eachother AND. not to M. (since around this time M lost someone VERY important in his life in a awful fucking way.) i felt so uncomfy and terrified but i couldnt talk back to them or else i was scared i would get "called out" again. i was added into groupchats that was dissing on my friends and alot of other shit. they kept talking shit to me. to my partner at the time and alot of others. they were very 2 faced and fucking awful to me and many others. i didnt get the worst of it and it was just.. vfnjcnjdcs god fucking awful. many people figured out Oliver tree fan was a shitty mother fucker. and if you see this oliver tree fan (bc i know you stalk me </3) fuck off. legit your a fucking awful person. made me fucking scared for my fucking life for at least 4 months. you made me feel like utter garbage. i really hope you get what you deserve. tldr: Oliver tree fan was a shitty person to me and M (partner at the time now they are a ex of mine) decided to call me out and call me a pedo/groomer manipulator and other shit when i called them out. many people believed Oliver tree fan. they manipulated me into deleting evidence. we made a deal not to talk shit about eachother. ofc they talked shit and treated M and others like shit. then people figured out Oliver tree fan was a shitty person.

hope this made sense